Bob Edelstein L.M.F.T., M.F.

T
Authentic Engagement

Who is an Existential-
Humanistic Therapist?
Values, qualities, and skills embraced by an E-H therapist.
Posted Oct 23, 2018

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You’ve decided to talk to a therapist. You’ve learned more about the
Existential-Humanistic perspective through reading my blogs. You have
questions. What is an Existential-Humanistic therapist? What are the
specific values, qualities, and skills of this type of therapy? I will explore this
in my next few blogs. My hope is you will understand what you will be
undertaking if you choose to work with an E-H therapist. I recognize that
each client’s journey is unique to them as they discover and connect with
their authentic self. I appreciate that each individual E-H therapist will have
their own unique way of working.

I believe these sets of values, qualities, and skills are rewarding and

affirming ways for us to approach our life. This way of being will give a
reverence to one’s life that both enrich our relationships and deepen our
connection to ourselves.

The first set of core values that an E-H therapist embraces are:

1. Valuing the client for their inherent worth and dignity beyond their
undesirable or ineffective behaviors.

2. Believing even the most wounded client has the capacity and potential to
heal.

The first set of qualities and skills that the E-H therapist emphasizes are:

1. Hearing and observing the lived experience of the client with acceptance
and engaged curiosity.

2. Developing an unconditional positive regard for the client which is

expressed both verbally and embodied non-verbally.

3. Being in touch with their authentic self in relationship to their client and,
as appropriate, express that to their client.
4. Cultivating a highly developed sense of empathy that they express to the
client. This means being able to sensitively communicate their perception of
the client’s lived experience in a way that the client feels deeply heard and
understood. This facilitates the client to make new discoveries that can
range from helpful to life transforming. 

I want to acknowledge Carl Rogers for initially practicing, researching, and

advocating for the importance of congruence, empathy, and unconditional
positive regard that is needed for any therapeutic modality to foster growth
and healing. His work inspired me when I was 21 and was instrumental in
my decision to be a therapist. His work still inspires me today.

These are a few of the values, qualities, and skills that are core to
Existential-Humanistic psychotherapy. I will explore the second set in my
next blog.

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About the Author

Bob Edelstein, L.M.F.T., M.F.T., is an existential humanistic psychotherapist based
in Portland, Oregon.

Online:
 My website
Read Next

Bob Edelstein L.M.F.T., M.F.T

Authentic Engagement

Who Is an Existential-
Humanistic Therapist?
Part 2: Being in the present moment.
Posted Jan 22, 2019

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You’re interested in therapy. A friend mentioned the existential-humanistic
perspective. You are curious – what does that kind of therapy entail? What
is unique about Existential-Humanistic Therapy?

In my previous blog, ‘Why See an Existential-Humanistic Therapist’, I

explored six core values, qualities, and skills which an existential-
humanistic therapist embraces. This includes using congruence, empathy,
and unconditional positive regard, which is a paradigm pioneered by Carl
Rogers, Ph.D.

In this blog, I'll explore five more core values, qualities and skills of an
existential-humanistic (E-H) therapist. They are:

1) The E-H therapist intends to be fully engaged in the present moment.

They recognize when vital elements of the client's past and future are
contained in the present moment. They explore what emerges from the
present moment, which can facilitate change that ranges from subtle to
dramatic.

2) The E-H therapist believes their clients know themselves better than the
therapist can ever know them. The therapist’s task is not to give answers to
the client, but to provide the container for the client to discover their own
answers.

3) The E-H therapist is comfortable with ‘not knowing.’ They have the ability
to remain present and be patient with the client’s process until the mystery
of ‘not knowing’ transforms into increased clarity.
4) The E-H therapist is patient with silence until the therapist or client has
something relevant to say, thus drawing the client deeper into their
immediate experience.

5) The E-H therapist trusts that any awareness which emerges in the
present moment, within the client, the therapist, and between them, will lead
to the exact intervention that will best move the client’s process forward.

I want to acknowledge Jim Bugental, PhD., for teaching me the vital

importance of being in the present moment with the client and exploring
what unfolds from that moment. Jim was a pioneer in developing existential-
humanistic therapy in the United States and I was honored to have him as
my mentor for many years. When I interviewed him in 2002, he
passionately emphasized the importance of being fully present in the
moment by saying, "And now . . . and now . . . and now . . . this is all we
have."

Stay tuned for my next blog, where I will explore the third set of values,
qualities, and skills of an existential-humanistic therapist.

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About the Author

Bob Edelstein, L.M.F.T., M.F.T., is an existential humanistic psychotherapist based
in Portland, Oregon.

Online:
 My website
Read Next

Bob Edelstein L.M.F.T., M.F.T

Authentic Engagement

Who Is an Existential-
Humanistic Therapist?
Part 3: Cornerstones of the client-therapist relationship.
Posted Apr 23, 2019

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In my previous blogs, I explored the importance of being in the present
moment and how an Existential-Humanistic therapist embraces that. In this
blog, I will explore four qualities, attitudes, and skills that an Existential-
Humanistic (EH) therapist uses within the client-therapist relationship.

1. Within the context of the client-therapist relationship, the EH therapist

places a high value on being authentic. This facilitates the client to trust
their own authenticity. As a result, the client can more easily access and
express the full range of their feelings. The client realizes the courage it
takes to be authentic and the necessity of it to live an optimal life.

2. The EH therapist values the mutuality of the client-therapist relationship.

There is mutual respect and caring between the therapist and the client.
The relationship is not hierarchal. The EH therapist is not the authority on
how the client should live their life. The client is. The EH therapist’s
expertise lies in providing the container and facilitating the client to discover
how they want to live their life. There is a level of equality that is recognized
because the reality is both therapist and client are human beings navigating
their own life. There is an appreciation of the reciprocity of needs being met
while recognizing that those needs are different.

3. The EH therapist uses the relationship between the client and the
therapist as a powerful vehicle for directly exploring the client’s relationship
issues. By exploring the authentic client-therapist relationship, there is a
deeper awareness of how the client relates to others in their life.

4. An EH therapist places a high value on fostering the development of an I-

Thou relationship (Martin Buber) between the client and the therapist. The
EH therapist acknowledges the sacredness of the relationship. The EH
therapist consciously addresses what might be preventing the I-Thou
relationship from developing.

I want to acknowledge Irv Yalom, MD, for emphasizing the importance of

the client-therapist relationship. When I interviewed him in 2006, he
emphasized that the client and therapist are ‘fellow travelers’ on the journey
of life. This relationship is a mutual mirror for how the client and therapist
relate in their lives. It becomes a vehicle for personal growth.

Stay tuned for my final blog in this series. I will explore how an EH therapist
facilitates a client to find meaning and to self-actualize in order to live an
optimal life.

References

Buber, Martin (1996). I and Thou. Trans. Walter Kaufmann. New York, New York: Simon
and Schuster

Yalom, Irvin D. (1989). Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy. New York,
New York: Basic Books.

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About the Author

Bob Edelstein, L.M.F.T., M.F.T., is an existential humanistic psychotherapist based

in Portland, Oregon.

Online:
 My website
Read Next