Writer: __Ligeia Love_______ Peer editor _____Camden Sutherland_________

Peer Editing for Causal Proposal Redux Passion Project Transcript

Manuscript Form
Consider the following, and mark problems on the paper:
 Is the paper double spaced?
 Is there an extra line between paragraphs? There should not be.
 Are the heading and headers in the right format?
 Does the title reflect the main idea of the thesis?

What should the writer focus on in the rewrite?

Nothing, all of these things are done correctly.

Basic Structure and Organization and Introductory Paragraph

Underline the thesis sentence and the topic sentences; check each. Consider the following, and mark problems
on the paper.

Introductory Paragraph
 Does the writer use the assigned thesis pattern?
 Does the introduction make sense? Does it include enough background information to let the reader
understand the thesis? Does it introduce the writer, the website, and the topic?
 Is the thesis sentence the last sentence of the introductory paragraph?
 What needs to be done to improve the introduction?
All of the items above were done correctly.

Body Paragraphs
 Are there eight body paragraphs? Yes, there are 8 body paragraphs

Conclusion Paragraph
 Is there a conclusion paragraph? NO, this paper does not require one.

Body Paragraphs
Consider the following, and mark problems on the paper:
 Does each body paragraph have a topic sentence?
 Is the topic sentence the first sentence in the paragraph?
 Does the topic sentence identify the main idea of the paragraph and reflect the overall focus of the
thesis?
 Do the topic sentences follow the instructions?
 Do the body paragraphs follow the instructions?
 Does the paragraph have enough information to prove the topic sentence?
 Is there anything in any of the body paragraphs that doesn’t make sense?
 How could each paragraph be improved?

After reading the paper I found that it followed the outline, the topic sentences were done correctly, and the
body paragraphs make sense. There is nothing that I think needs to be fixed with these paragraphs.
Outside Sources
Consider the following, and mark problems on the paper:
 Is there a Works Cited page?
 Are the entries on the Works Cited page in the correct format?
 Is the Works Cited page in the correct format?
 Are the sources acceptable?
 Is each source listed on the Works Cited page? (Compare parenthetical documentation with Works
Cited page)
 Is there anything on the Works Cited page that is not cited in the paper? (Compare parenthetical
documentation with Works Cited page)
 Are the parenthetical citations in the correct format?
 Are quotations properly introduced with a complete sentence and a colon?
 Are all quotations documented?
 Is there any undocumented information in the paper that looks as if it should be documented?

Do you see any other problems with the research elements in the paper?
Her works cited page is on its own page, it is in alphabetical order, the citations seem to be in the correct
form, and they match the parenthetical citations in the paper. All the quotes have a citations with them that
are in the correct format so her citations look great overall.

Grammar, Sentence Structure, and Punctuation

Mark any grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation errors that you see. Look for problems in the following
areas.
Unclear sentences verb case errors capitalization errors
fragments dangling modifiers hyphen errors
run-ons (fused and comma misplaced modifiers comma errors
splice) non-parallel structure any other punctuation errors
subject-verb agreement errors shift in person (not third person) improper word choice
incoherent sentences shift in tense beginning a sentence with a
sentence structure errors shift in voice coordinating conjunction
excessive coordination semicolon errors awkward sentences
improper subordination verb form errors slang
choppy sentences missing words manuscript form errors
pronoun reference errors titles punctuated incorrectly
pronoun agreement errors spelling errors