Jaylee Graham

Dr. Haslam

English 2010

5/10/21

Suicide; why are so many people “choosing” to die?

On June 15th, 2020 Kolbey Graham, my brother, found his girlfriend's uncle deceased, he

died by suicide. Every night he checks on the girls he has custody of, then he goes to bed

wondering if there was something he could have done to change the outcome of that dreadful

morning.

Dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts himself, he knows what it’s like. Many

people think that these depressed teens and young adults kill themselves for attention, but that’s

not the case. They aren’t in the right mindset, they see a way out of all of their pain and suffrage.

Many often question what we can do to fix this. If you see someone struggling or know

that someone has struggled in the past, reach out to them. This is what Kolbey had to say about

those struggling “you should be the ear they need, be the voice of hope when they feel hopeless,

for god sakes be the presence sitting silently beside them when they feel alone” (Kolbey). This

isn’t a fight they should have to fight alone, “everyone is fighting their own battles, so please if

someone you love is battling depression, stand up and help them fight” (Kolbey).

KOLBEY

I have tried to speak up about depression and suicide since my girlfriend’s uncle passed

away last year from suicide. “This hasn’t been an easy thing to talk about, especially when

people try to argue with me. I am just trying to bring awareness around the topic and they act like

I know nothing” (Kolbey). Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I have learned that those
who haven’t had first hand experience with suicide are the ones who seem to “know” everything

and aren’t willing to have an open mind with me so that I can educate them. “I wish everyone

would understand that suicide is a big issue, and that I am only trying to start the conversation.

Growing up I didn’t hear much talk about suicide or depression, it was seen as a something that

should not be talked about, I am trying to change that by normalizing these kinds of

conversations” (Kolbey).

His three daughters lost their beloved father that tragic morning, they will never get to see

his smile in person again, all they have left are pictures and memories. They won’t ever get to go

swimming or to the drive-in movies with him again, which was his favorite things to do with his

girls. These were also things his girls enjoyed doing with him too. But what they will remember

the most about their dad is how he loved to talk with them. Their conversations went on for

hours on end because he always wanted to know all of their thoughts. He wanted to make sure

they felt acknowledged and heard, and that’s exactly what he did.

The thing that breaks my heart the most is that they won’t ever make any new memories

with him. I am trying to be their fill in dad, but I know I will never be even half the man he was.

“He was an incredible dad, he was honest, hard working, driven, funny, wise, extremely smart,

and the best friend a person could ask for. He was always there when you needed him, he would

give up anything for anyone” (Kolbey).

He and his girlfriend had broken up the week prior to his passing, but we didn’t think his

sadness was any warning signs of depression or suicide. We didn’t think he was suicidal, we just

thought he was sad from the breakup. It pains me to know that we didn’t realize how serious his

situation was. I miss him, and I know his girls and the rest of his family does too. Not a day goes

by without him crossing my mind. We lost an amazing friend, dad, brother, and son to a battle we
had no idea he was even fighting. This is why I have decided to speak up about suicide and

depression. If I could stop just one person, then I will have succeeded.

JAYLEE

When someone comes to me with a serious situation like suicidal thoughts, I always try

my best to listen and understand what they are going through, but to also reason with them. “We

have seen that two heads are better than one when dealing with a mental health problem” (Kate

Middleton).

I have personally seen the affects suicide has had on the family and friends of my

brothers girlfriends uncle. Everyone copes in all different ways, but it has a huge toll on their

mental health as well. It hurts, they don’t quite understand why they did it, they are lost. It’s a

hole that will never be filled, a piece that is now missing from their lives.

References:

Graham, Jaylee, and Kolbey Graham. “Suicide .” 10 Feb. 2021.

Barcelona, Ainhoa. We Have Seen That Two Heads Are Better than One When Dealing

with a Mental Health Problem., 17 Jan. 2017,

www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2017011735865/kate-middleton-prince-william-harry-he

ads-together/.