Q1 & Q2

Hi Jamie, How are you doing today?

As you know this meeting is regarding the new task that you were allocated 2 weeks ago. So, I’ll provide
you feedback on your work and give you some tips on what and how can things be improved.

As of the learning and developing officer, you’re doing great and the company is very happy with your
dedication and contribution to the company. The training and education that has been given to the staff by
you is remarkable.
(S-situation, T-task) However, 2 weeks back you were asked to develop a new health and safety manual
for the staff. I know you were not told at the time of interview that you might need to do such a thing and
its new for you.
(A-action) Now that you’ve written the first chapter, I went through that (R-result) and I think that the
content is fine but your writing style can be a little confusing for that staff to understand. So, here with
me, I’ve got some tips on how you can improve your way of writing and develop a good manual.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I’ll send this on your email as well. We will see if these
tips help and we will have a follow up meeting afterwards. Thanks for coming, have a good rest of your
day.

Ways of improving writing style:

1. USE STRAIGHTFORWARD LANGUAGE.

The most fundamental way to simplify writing is to use simpler words. Simple words—whether verbs,
nouns or adjectives—tend to have broader connotations, while complicated words have more specific
meanings. Thus, you have a lower margin for error when using simpler words. Substitute a less familiar
word with a more readily understandable one.

2. TRIM LONG SENTENCES.

One way to make your writing clearer is to limit the use of long sentences. The easiest way to do this is to
divide a long sentence into two or more shorter sentences. Using shorter sentences does not mean that all
sentences should be short. This would create a choppy style and is precisely where the art of writing
comes into play. You must judge how to weave short sentences with longer ones, as well as how to use
sentence variety.

3. AVOID REDUNDANCIES.
Tiresome writing occurs when a writer needlessly repeats a word or an idea. It’s redundant, for example,
to speak of a “beginner who lacks experience,” because the word beginner already implies a lack of
experience. Redundant words or phrases are those that can be eliminated without changing the meaning
of the sentence.

4. CUT EXCESSIVE QUALIFICATION.

Occasional use of qualifiers will let the reader know you are reasonable, but using such modifiers too
often weakens your writing. Excessive qualification makes you sound hesitant and adds bulk without
adding substance.

5. AVOID NEEDLESS SELF-REFERENCE.

Avoid such unnecessary phrases as “I believe,” “I feel” and “in my opinion.” There is usually no need to
remind your reader that what you are writing is your opinion.

6. FAVOR ACTIVE VOICE.

In general, active voice is stronger than passive voice because the active voice is more direct and cuts
down on the number of needed words. For example, the sentence “I loved Sally” is in the active voice and
contains three words. “Sally was loved by me” is in passive and contains five words.

7. FAVOR VERBS, NOT NOUNS.

Nominalization is a fancy-sounding but important concept in writing. It describes the process by which
verbs and adjectives are turned into nouns—for instance, “precision of measurement” is the
nominalization of “precise measurement.” Nominalizations make sentences weaker (and, usually, longer).

8. USE PARALLEL FORMS.

Parallelism in writing means expressing similar parts of a sentence in a consistent way. Elements alike in
function should be alike in construction. Parallelism is an important element of style because it builds
clarity and power. Note the following sentence in parallel form: “In the summer before college, I waited
tables, sold magazines and even delivered pizzas.” Now compare this with a nonparallel form: “In the
summer before college, I was a waiter at a restaurant, pursued magazine sales and pizza delivery was my
third job.” Do you see how the parallel version reads more smoothly?

9. BE SPECIFIC.

One major difference between good writing and mediocre writing lies with the specific and concrete
examples that you use (or fail to use). Vague language weakens your writing because it forces the reader
to guess at what you mean instead of allowing the reader to concentrate fully on your ideas and style.
Choose specific, descriptive words for more forceful writing.

10. AVOID THE MASCULINE GENERIC.

The masculine generic refers to the sole use of the pronoun he or him when referring to situations
involving both genders. As much as you can, make an effort to avoid using he when referring to either a
he or a she, and using him when referring to either him or her. Because 50 percent of any general
readership is likely female, it’s not only politically astute but fair-minded to avoid using the masculine
generic, and to alternate the pronouns or opt for gender-neutral language, instead.