End of Life Activity 1

End of Life Activity

Luisedmundo J. Vicente

CSU Channel Islands

HSNRS 348
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The topic of death can be an unlikable subject, as it focuses on approaching our final

moments of life. Who would want to talk about death when talking about our daily lives is so

much easier? Yet even though we may want to accept the fact that dying is a natural part of life,

we still have to talk about it. It’s important to discuss with those who are closest to us of our time

of passing, they should know what will happen and how we want it to end. To gain some insight

into discussing death, I have chosen the activity of death over dinner to give me a better

understanding of how it should be done.

The activity started off by providing me questions on who I wanted to bring over to

dinner. Those that I have decided to come to my dinner were parents, friends, a significant other,

grandparents, and kids. Then I had to choose my intentions of having the dinner, out of the list I

chose that my intention of having the dinner was that, “I think being prepared for a decline in

health and end of life is super important.” Lastly, I had to assign some homework for those who

are attending to my dinner to read, watch, and listen. To read I have chosen “Five Things That

Death Can Teach About Living to the Fullest” by Frank Ostaseski, to watch I chose “Find a

Place of Rest” by Frank Ostaseski, and to listen I have picked “Sam Harris Podcast: Lessons

from Death”. After finally going over all three steps, I've then inputted my email address to

receive my personalized script made from the website.

The personalized script that was sent to me focused on the criteria that I've chosen and

came up with discussion topics to address during the dinner. At the start of the dinner, our

introduction would go around the table, and to “raise a glass” to someone who is no longer with

us. That someone can be who is admired deeply and in no more than twenty words then share

why admiration for them is there. After we have completed our introductions then we move onto
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the main discussion topics. I would then list some of the major discussion topics that I found

favorable. These were the following discussion topics: have you ever helped provide care for a

good friend or relative who died in a way that you wouldn’t consider a good death? Were there

ways the experience was harder than it needed to be? Who would I want to speak at my funeral?

After I die, what do I want to be done with my body? If I were suddenly injured in a car accident

or in rubble after the big quake and knew that I would likely die within a few minutes, what

would I worry about being left undone? Once we have gone over the main discussion topics, we

will then conclude the dinner with admiration of one another before leaving the table.

Now as I went over the entirety of the forum, there are quite a few things that I learned

from doing this activity, but as well will change. Starting off from what I learned, the importance

to address some may concerns prior to death that needs answers, appreciating those who came to

your dinner and admiring those whose souls are no longer with us as we near death. I thought it

was interesting assigning homework for those who are attending your dinner to do, especially

how it informs those about what happens during a person's end of life and what comes afterward.

I learn the importance of discussing my near-death with those around me, as it can act as a way

to relieve some tension as we approach my final moments. In the article “Family Communication

at the End of Life” by Keely, it states that “Communication at the end of life, before there is an

impending death, can help remove the stigma that surrounds the topic of death and dying”. Most

importantly I realize that when nearing the end of life - it doesn't only involve yourself, but also

those around you.

Now as I was nearing the end of this activity it brought to my attention that there were

things that I would like to change. As I was going over my mind on certain areas that I would
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like to change, I also realized that I will have to actually think about the way that I would want to

settle the discussion of nearing the end of my own life. Nevertheless, changes that I would make

would be taking away the homework assignment from my guest, as this is a dinner. I want people

to come and enjoy dinner with me at ease not having the pressure of getting the assignments

done. As much as I did appreciate the introduction that the forum has provided to me, I would

like it to be a nice and simple greeting as to how everyone's day is going and what is new in

everyone's lives. The two major changes that I would like to add to the discussion is did I keep

my promise to my parents and to assure that they won’t be sad over my death.

The promise that I made to my parents is that throughout all their hard work to put me

here today where I am, that I would reward them in the future when I am successful. This is not

to be a sign of repaying debt, but a sign of gratitude for what they did. Some people deserve to

have their faith rewarded and that is what I plan to do for my parents before dying. As to my

second change, I don’t want anyone to feel sad over my passing, don't make my death a big deal,

it's natural in life. I want those around me to express to me their emotions before I die so we can

have a heart to heart and so that they won't have a difficult time coping after my death. In the

article ‘Perceptions of Death and the Effects of Emotion” by Prater, it states that “When dealing

with death, different emotions come into play, based on how well a person copes”. I know that

it's only natural to be sad but not because of the word “he died,” but because of the life we saw

prior to the words. Overall, this activity gave me great insight into the end of life.
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References:

Prater, E. S. (n.d.). Perceptions of Death and the Effects of Emotion. Retrieved from

https://www.mckendree.edu/academics/scholars/issue1/prater.htm

Keeley, M. P. (2017, July 14). Family Communication at the End of Life. Retrieved from

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5618053/