What is dialogue?

The word ‘dialogue’ comes from Greek dialogos, which means ‘through the word’ (dia = through
and logos = word). In everyday language, the term is widely used in the same sense as
‘conversation’, but dialogue is more than just talking to one another. It is a complex concept. When
you wish to work purposefully with dialogue, it is necessary to comprehend more exactly what it
means.

Definition (for the purposes of this book)

Dialogue is a special form of communication, in which participants seek to actively create greater
mutual understanding and deeper insight.

“... special form of communication…”

Dialogue is like a movement, where those taking part in the exchange explore new possibilities.
The goal is not to produce a particular outcome, such as persuading someone, winning the
argument or reaching agreement. Participants are open, listen and ask questions. They take their
time to savour and digest other viewpoints. Together they try to figure out what makes sense for
one party, what makes sense for the other party, and what sense they can make in concert. This is
what makes dialogue ‘special’.

“...participants seek to actively create. …”

Participants in a dialogue actively explore both the subject on the agenda, the viewpoints on the
subject matter, and the underlying beliefs. This type of conversation gives rise to trust, reassurance,
confidence and a deeper degree of contact between the parties communicating. This strengthens
the relation and bridges the various beliefs and values in play.

“... greater mutual understanding …”

When differing values, beliefs and views clash, our own categorizations and prejudices are often
barriers to understanding. In a dialogue, one tries to take in the perspective of the other party,
though being aware that one sometimes just cannot understand, let alone accept, their opinion.
Merely recognising this fact gives rise to greater mutual understanding of each other as the distinct
human beings that we are. Thus, dialogue creates deeper respect for differences and an opportunity
to become wiser. Because when we share our differences, knowledge and insights, something
extraordinary emerges: a synergy effect. In somewhat simplified terms, this means that several
people create something together that exceeds the sum of what each of them creates on their own.

”...deeper insight …”
When we manage to move beyond viewpoints and prejudices – both our own and those of others
– it creates an opportunity for entirely new insights. Insight denotes understanding at a deeper level
given the kind of person you are, including your experiences, values and feelings. Insight is related
to ‘aha!’ experiences and realisations. It arises when what you used to think or understand is
perceived in a new light. It happens through dialogue and reflection, when we put our thoughts

into words and listen to those of others. In this joint pursuit of new and shared meanings, we arrive
at a deeper insight.

Principles of dialogue
There are four basic principles which together make up the foundation on which the dialogue rests.
They are:
1. trust,
2. openness,
3. honesty
4. equality.
The four principles are interrelated and constitute preconditions for dialogue. They foster dialogue
and are in turn fostered by dialogue. Consequently, they must always be kept in mind when
working with dialogue.