19

Lean On Me
Social Support

PowerPoint© Slide 1
“LEAN ON ME”
Social Support

José, nicknamed Rambo, was extremely accomplished in martial arts. When he returned to his native
Guam, he was recognized as a gifted linguist and chaired the teaching of the native Chamarro
language in the public schools of the island. But crises and depression overwhelmed him. His wife
left him, and later his granddaughter committed suicide. Something snapped, and José took up the
life of a homeless man in a park at the beach. It was a rough place to live. One day, three other
homeless men ganged up to attack José. Moments later all three lay unconscious. Word got around,
“Leave José alone.” José staked out his own private pavilion and surrounded it with machetes stuck
in the ground.

One November, Nelly Joy Roberts, a well-known radio announcer on JOY 92 FM, Christian Radio
on Guam, with tears pleaded with her church community to do something for the homeless to
celebrate Thanksgiving. “Will you help me?” she asked. The community of believers rallied to assist
her. Why shouldn’t they? The name of their church in the native Chamorro language is Maraguiya,
which is translated “Love that reaches out.”

The planned feast for the homeless at the beach was preceded by a sermon. Some homeless men
watched from across the street, and José, clean-shaven and neat, was the only homeless person
present. When the sermon was over, the homeless men who had been watching from across the street
came for the delicious home-cooked Thanksgiving feast. Dr. Wes Youngberg, who also attended the
church service, had been hoping to run a new depression recovery program in his clinic. Emotionally
moved by the possibility of helping these homeless people, he announced that the program would
begin the next week. José seemed interested in attending.

The day of the first Depression Recovery Seminar arrived. Dr. Wes was busy with patient
appointments. Suddenly he remembered, Someone needs to go and get José and take him to the
program. He called only one family. The husband was gone, but the wife, Mina, mother of three
small children, agreed. Mina didn’t know (and nobody else at church knew) that José was a very
violent man, was armed, and was seeing a psychiatrist at the time.

José had slept in that morning, and of course everybody around left him alone. Suddenly José was
awakened because a young woman who gave her name as Mina, and her little boy Zachary, were
looking down at him. They again invited him to the meetings and furnished transportation. José
enjoyed the sessions and did not miss a single one of the ten during a period of six weeks. By this
time, the whole faith community was praying for José, and what an answer God gave to their
prayers!

Every week, Dr. Youngberg presented WIN! Wellness strategies to the attendees on what they could
do to conquer depression. The general idea was, “Follow your plan (not your feelings of the
moment).” Assignments were given about getting out into the sunshine, reading the Bible, drinking
sufficient pure water, eating the right food, and exercising every day. Each time José came to thea
next session he would triumphantly announce, “I’m doing everything I learned last week.”

Out at the homeless park, the general fare was white rice and barbecue ribs and beer. Of course, all
these things only exacerbated depression. José started eating vegetables, fruits, nuts and whole
grains. He triumphantly announced when When José she showed up at the sessions , he announced
that he was reading the Bible, listening to classical music, and listening to educational material from
the seminar leader on the DVD player that Dr. Wes had given him.

Nobody knew that José was armed. But as José listened to the DVD player that had been given him,
he became angry. He listened to sermons on Christian World Radio in Japanese, English, and
Filipino—but there was nothing, nothing in the native language of Guam called Chamorro. When he
complained, Dr. Youngberg said, “José, that’s your job. You’re the expert.” They were just
beginning to discover that José was the most accomplished Chamorro linguist anywhere. With time,
José ended up with his own program in the Chamorro language on JOY 92 FM. And what joy this
brought to the older citizens on Guam who had never mastered English or who just preferred to hear
their native tongue. They were delighted, and so was he. José began to give Bible studies, prayed
beautiful prayers, and called himself “Brother José.”

One and a half years went by. One day José confided to Dr. Wes, “Chellu [Brother], that first
Tuesday I came to class was the day I had decided to end it all. Monday had been a very depressing
day. When I went to sleep I had decided that in the morning I would take my own life. But when I
woke up, here was this angelic-looking young lady Mina and her little son, looking down at me and
calling my name. They saved me from suicide. If the wonderful people from Maraguiya [“Love that
reaches out”] had not reached out to me, I would have joined my granddaughter in suicide.”

José was baptized as a member of Maraguiya and became an ordained deacon of that community of
faith. God continued to use José in a mighty way. No longer did he leave his enemies out cold by his
martial arts; now he warmed their hearts, introducing them to his own best friend, Jesus. Thousands
were blessed as this accomplished linguist gave his testimony over the radio and television across the
islands of the South Pacific.1

All this happened because of a social group who cared about the homeless. We must never
underestimate the power of an idea. That idea may come from God!

PowerPoint© Slide 2
John Donne, English poet wrote—
“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a
piece of the continent, a part of the main[land]. . . Any
man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in
mankind.””

John Donne, the English poet, wrote, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of
the continent, a part of the main[land]. . . . Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in
mankind.”2 People need people. Everybody needs somebody. People were created for social
relationship, and their health finds its fullest expression in positive social networking—serving
unselfishly those who need help.

Social support and health

PowerPoint© Slide 4 Research

The Alemeda County Study
Seven physical habits predict longer life.
1) eating breakfast
2) sleeping adequately
3) exercising regularly
4)maintaining proper weight
5) never smoking cigarettes
6) using alcohol moderately or not at all
7) and not eating between meals.Is it enough
to practice the 7 physical health habits?
The famous Alameda County (California) study (1972) found that seven physical habits were
predictive of longer life: eating breakfast, sleeping adequately, exercising regularly, maintaining
proper weight, never smoking cigarettes, using alcohol moderately or not at all, and not eating
between meals.3 But the surprise came when follow-ups on the same population reported in 1979for
nine more years found. People who lacked friends and social support were roughly two to three
times more at risk of premature death from all causes when compared with others who had friends
and sensed social support.4

that people who lacked friends and social support were roughly two to three times more at risk of
premature death from all causes when compared with others who had friends and sensed social
support.4 Isn’t that amazing! Twenty five years later oday scientists confidently reported5affirm6 that
social support is not only related to better health; good social support actually causes better
health.

This study supported the idea that lifestyle practices are more important than the initial health status
in determining who lives and who dies.

Eight large-scale community studies in two Scandinavian countries and the US over a period of 15
fifteen years reported research on the relationship between social isolation and death and disease
from all causes. In summary, it found: “Those who were socially isolated had at least two to five
times the risk of premature death from all causes when compared to those who had a strong sense of
connection and community.”7
PowerPoint© Slide 3
Those who were socially isolated had at least two to
five times the risk of premature death from all causes
when compared to those who had a strong sense of
connection and community.

PowerPoint© Slide 5
 Quality of Relationship More Important
than Number of Relationships
 Social Support = Less Coronary Artery
Blockage
Quality of the social relationship is more important than the quantity of those relationships. At Yale
University, researchers studied 119 men and 40 women who were undergoing coronary angiography
(an X-ray movie of blockages in the blood vessels of the heart). “The researchers found that feelings
of being loved and emotionally supported were more important predictors of the severity of coronary
artery blockages than were the number of relationships a person had.” 8

PowerPoint© Slide 6
 Men whose wives express love have about
half the angina heart pains.
 Wife’s love protects men from ulcers.

A Case Western Reserve University study of about ten thousand men asked the simple question,
“Does your wife show you her love?” Those who responded “yes” had significantly less chest pain.
Those who responded “no” had almost twice the angina. The researchers concluded, “The wife’s
love and support is an important balancing factor which apparently reduces the risk of angina
pectoris (of the chest) even in the presence of high risk factors.” Dr. Ornish summarizes that
“although diet, blood pressure, and other risk factors play an important role in developing heart
disease and angina, these forces can be significantly moderated by a loving relationship.”9

A study of 8,500 men revealed that those men answering a survey question with the response, “My
wife does not love me” had almost three times as many ulcers as the other men who reported that
their wives showed them love and support. 10

Social support and mental health

PowerPoint© Slide 7
Social Support and Depression
 Social bonds impact mental health.

Individuals suffering from depression depression, stress, and loneliness report sleep-related immune
changes. There is less rest and less restoration.report lower levels of social support than people who
are not depressed.11 Poor mental health and substance use may lead to problems with social support
and may intensify feelings of loneliness. Therefore it is important to reconnect such individuals with
others in healthful, supportive ways as a part of successfully treating mental health or substance use
problems.12

Connections or bonds to other people can have a positive impact on our mental health. Studies show
that factors which promote and protect young people’s mental well-being include strong parental
relationships, a sense of belonging, good social skills, and supportive networks. 13 Well-connected
communities with strong social networks are more likely to benefit from lower crime figures, better
health, higher educational achievement, and better economic growth. 14

We human beings seem to have a need to feel connected to someone, to a group or some worthy
cause. When we do feel connected, we are not so lonely and are healthier and happier as well.

As we become acquainted with new people, we increase our circle of friends, who may need
social support at some point or whom we may need in difficult times. Friends are important.
How do I increase my circle of friends?

HINTS FOR MAKING FRIENDS

 Be a friendly person who is easy to talk to. The Good Book says, “A man who has friends
must himself be friendly.”15
 Be upbeat and cheerful. Cultivate optimism and a sense of humor.
 Share encouraging words and be a good listener.
 Make friends by joining an exercise group or a gym program, or start a walking group.
 Take evening classes at a community or church-related college. Check out people who have
similar hobbies or goals.
 Choose to keep your friends and stay in touch. Look up old friends from school days. Answer
legitimate emails. Reciprocate invitations.
 Don’t overwhelm others with demands, and avoid being opinionated.
 Choose good friends who are not involved in unhealthy behaviors like alcohol or substance
abuse.
 Count your blessings. Be a thankful person, and show your appreciation to others in different
ways—giving a gift, spending time with them, helping them to do a difficult task.

Spiritual dimension of social support

We can’t fully develop in all dimensions if we live detached and isolated as hermits. We need social
support groups for enrichment, well-being, and in order to move beyond ourselves and help others.
This is a part of character development. To help others is a double blessing, assisting both the
receiver and the giver.
 PowerPoint© Slide 8
Helping a Needy Person on the Road

Story told by a Hospice physician from Denver,

Colorado

Jeannie was caught in rush-hour traffic when her car began to sputter. She barely coasted in to a
nearby gas station when she spied a crying woman coming out of the gas station. This woman had
been able to put only $4.95 of gas into her vehicle, which was crammed with three kids. She hid
behind the gas pump so the children wouldn’t see her cry. Jeannie asked, “Is everything all right?”
The story came out that her boyfriend, who had fathered the children, had walked out, and she was
driving to California to her parents’ house and had run out of money. The children were starved.
Jeannie filled up the gas tank of the unfortunate woman, bought her four sacks of lunches at the fast-
food place next door, and slipped off her gloves, giving them to the discouraged stranger for the cold
weather ahead.

The stranded woman questioned, “What are you? An angel or something?” “No, sweetie,” Jeannie
responded, “at Christmas time like this the angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular
people to help Him.” Jeannie slipped her some money and, with a wave, got into her car. The engine
roared to life with no problem, and she went on her way rejoicing, knowing the young mama would
have sufficient gas to get to her destination, and the children’s immediate food needs were supplied. 16

When we keep our spiritual antenna out, God often puts us in the path of someone in need and says,
“Go help him for Me.” We become an agent for the Heavenly Support Group. And who needs help
from the “Heavenly Support Group”? The teen whose problems are bigger than he is; the mother
who lost her baby before she came home from the hospital; the single father who has a hard time
getting a nutritious meal for his two hungry children; the widower who can no longer drive his car to
get groceries.

We cannot do all things for all people, but we can help people in times of need, one person at a time.
God expects this of us. We should always keep our antenna out to see if we can give a hand of social
support for special groups like single parents, youth, children, and the elderly.

The Good Samaritan illustrates tThe need of a true friend

 PowerPoint© Slide 9
The Story of the Good Samaritan illustrates the
Need of a True Friend

Luke 10:30-35 NLT

Jesus told the story

Jesus told the parable of a man attacked by bandits during a journey. They stripped him of his clothes
and money, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. By chance, a Jewish priest came
along; but when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him
by. A temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other
side.

Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt deep pity. Kneeling beside
him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with medicine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on
his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he cared for him. The next day he handed the
innkeeper two pieces of silver and told him to take care of the man. “If his bill runs higher than that,”
he said, “I’ll pay the difference the next time I come by.”

The King James Version says, “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho.” He is an
unidentified, faceless man. It could have been you or me. This poor traveler may be on his way home
to his wife and children, who are awaiting his return. But the unthinkable happens. He is mugged and
possibly knifed or attacked with stones in a particularly desolate and lonely stretch of road.

There are many wounded people in society. They have fallen on hard times. Sometimes it’s their own
fault, but often someone has taken advantage of them. The priest and the temple assistant who pass
by are negative supports. They contribute to his suffering and wounds by neglecting him. He is
wounded and bleeding. The life is ebbing out of him. In loving, supportive acts such as those
performed by the Good Samaritan, we have the whole concept of intentional love. It means getting
personally involved in meeting the pressing needs of other people. The gospel is restoration.

In the original Greek, the words salvation and healing are the same word. The gospel is essentially
the good news that healing and restoration of healthful support systems comes to all who need
itthem. How many have been wounded on the road to Jericho? Millions have been struck by the
stones of catastrophes or health concerns. Millions more have been knifed by emotional trauma, and
they lie by the road wounded. Who will help them? Is it possible that God wants to use you to give a
helping hand to others in need?

Mother Teresa said:

 PowerPoint© Slide 10
Mother Teresa said:
“The greatest disease is not TB or leprosy; it is
being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. . .”

The greatest disease . . . is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and

uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for
loneliness, despair and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world that are
dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.

The Good Book tells us—, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” 17

PowerPoint© Slide 11
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law
of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

Youth Response to Hurricane Katrina Victims

There are many today who suffer from the devastation of natural disasters, and as more difficult
times come on the earth, more will need our help. When we “reach out and touch someone,” it will
be a blessing to both the giver and the receiver. Many college and high school students’ lives have
been changed in a positive way when they have given of their time and money to help others in need
after a destructive catastrophic event. They return home after hard work, sleepless nights, and
uncomfortable situations and feel blessed.

If you are the lonely one, you will probably find that as you reach out to others, you will naturally
make connections and make friends. Through giving, you receive the social connections that you
desire. One lady woman who had serious prayer needs asked for prayer support, which she received
along with an invitation to join the prayer group in praying for others. Through praying for the needs
of others, she began to have an inner peace about her own problems and felt closer to God.

Each of us can make a difference! We can reach out to the Josés who are homeless and in despair.
We can be like Nelly Joy and Mina, who took time out of their busy day to lend a hand and four
wheels to a man who was wondering if anyone cared. Our social group can be like the Maraguiya
“Love that reaches out” faith community. There will be eternal rewards.

Prayer

PowerPoint© Slide Prayer11

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law
of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

Youth Response to Hurricane Katrina Victims

Lord, thank You that You reached out to our world
when it went wrong. Thank You that people still care.

Lord, thank You that You reached out to our world when it went wrong. Thank You that people still
care. Make me like the Good Samaritan. Help me to want to stop on the journey of life and give a
helping hand to the wounded and helpless. Amen.

Reflect/Discuss
PowerPoint© Slide 12 Reflect/Discuss
Group Discussion
1. Recall a unique time when you received
help or gave help. Who received the blessing?
2. Why or how is it that doing good to others can
make you healthier and less depressed?
Recall a unique time when you received help or

PowerPoint© Slide 13 Reflect/Discuss

Group Discussion
3. Think of times God blessed you or a family
member and intervened in a personal crisis
time. How do you know the help was from
God? Does God use men, /women, and
/children to help us in answer to someone’s
prayers?
 PowerPoint© Slide 1 3
Reflect/Discuss Group Discussion
3. Think of times God blessed you or a family
member and intervened in a personal crisis
time. How do you know the help was from
God? Does God use men, women, and children
to help us in answer to someone’s prayers?

4. What can you or your Homes of Hope and

Health
1. Recall a unique time when you received helpsmall group
or gave doWho
help. for someone
receivedinthe
order to
blessing?
bring them
2. Why or how is it that doing good to others socialyou
can make support?
healthier and less depressed?
3. Think of times God blessed you or a family member and intervened in a personal crisis time.
How do you know that the help was from God? Does God use men, women, and children to
help us in answer to someone’s prayers? Why?
4. What can you or your Homes of Hope and Health small group do for someone in order to
bring them social support?

Personal Reflections
PowerPoint© Slide 14
Personal Reflections

1. What social support have you received from

others who cared?
2. A way to prepare for future crises is to make
friends. Reflect on how many good friends you have
and why you need their friendship. If you don’t have
many friends, what might you do to enlarge your circle
of meaningful friends?

1. What social support have you received from others who cared?
2. A way to prepare for future crisesPowerPoint
is to make friends.
©
SlideReflect
14 on how many good friends you
have and why you need their friendship. If youReflections
Personal don’t have many friends, what might you do to
3. If you have just recently helped out in a social
support group, what blessings did you receive?
4. Who in your neighborhood or faith community
needs your help? What can you do for them?
enlarge your circle of meaningful friends? Is God impressing you to help someone in
5.
need?
 3. If you have just recently helped out in a social support group, what blessings did you receive?
4. Who in your neighborhood or faith community needs your help? What can you do for them?
5. Is God impressing you to help someone in need?

Intentionality GLESNI, NOTE THAT THAT BOOK HAS A BORDER AROUND THIS
PART
 My desire is to help someone or a group of people this week. Who should it be?
______________________.
 I plan to volunteer my service locally in my community or in a developing country or
__________________.
 I would like to volunteer my services to some mission group outside of my country w
here I am needed.

Remember: “As you did it onto one of the least of these . . ., you did it unto Me.” 18
 Help in a soup kitchen for those who need to be fed.
 Give to the homeless: food, sleeping bags, warm coats and gloves, a duffel bag, shampoo, soap,
toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.
 Go on a mission trip and help in a building project.
 Adopt a family or a grandpa/grandma to help and invite for Christmas.
 Be a volunteer where you are needed.
 Volunteer in an orphanage.
 Provide suitcases for foster-care children to keep their belongings.
 Open your home for a prayer support group for neighbors and friends.
 Become a support person to cancer patients taking chemotherapy.
 Join a medical team to help the poor in a developing country.
 Take teens and college students on a disaster relief mission.
 Start a support group for special needs groups in the community.
 Relieve caregivers who need a break.
 Volunteer to listen to children read in school.
 Provide food in time of sickness, death, or crisis in neighborhoods.
 Pray for, encourage, and materially support those who have lost a job.
 Start a Wellness Health Club to help others to have an integrated balanced life.
 Open your home to be a Home of Hope and Health and help others to make lifestyle changes.
 Call senior citizens for chats, prayer, and to help solve problems.
 Send care packages or letters to service men and women.
 Ask teens to help senior citizens use the computer/Internet.
 Be a true friend to someone in need of social support.
 Join a church community that reaches out to others in need and takes part in support groups for
the poor and needy, the grieving, those requiring financial assistance and divorce recovery.

PowerPoint© Slide 15
“LEAN ON ME”
The End
1
. Personal experience as told by Dr. Wes Youngberg, coauthor of WIN! Wellness..
2
. John Donne, Meditation XVII.
3
. N. B. Belloc, and L. Breslow, “Relationship of Physical Health Status and Health Practices, “ Preventive Medicine 1
(1972): 409–421; Lester Breslow and James E. Enstrom, “Persistence of Health Habits and Their Relationship to
Mortality,” Preventive Medicine 9, no. 4 (July 1980): 469–483. doi:10.1016/0091-7435(80)90042-0.
4
. Lisa Berkman and S. Leonard Syme, “Social Networks, Host Resistance, and Mortality: A Nine-Year Follow-Up Study
of Alameda County Residents,” American Journal of Epidemiology 109, no. 2 (February 1979): 186–204.
5
L.C. Hawkley, J.T. Cacioppo, Brain, Behavior, and Immunity, “Stress and the aging immune system,” 18 (2004), 116. A
physiological pathway for increased social support to better health is: increased social support buffers emotional
stress increasing immune function. Loneliness and decreased social support increase emotional stress decreasing
immune function.
6
. Rober M. Kaplan, James F. Sallis, and Thomas L. Patterson, Health and Human Behavior (New York: McGraw-Hill,
1993), 140.
7
. Ornish, Love & Survival, (New York: HarperCollins, 1998), 42.
8
. Ibid., 41, 42.
9
. Ibid., 25, 26.
10
. Ibid., 26.
11
. BC Council for Families.L.C. Hawkley, J.T. Cacioppo, loc. cit., 118.
12
. Ibid.Ornish, Love & Survival, loc. cit., 26.
13
. Mental Health in New Zealand fFrom a Public Health Perspective, New Zealand Ministry of Health, 1977, 31.
14
. M. K. Smith, “Social capital,” The Encyclopedia of Informal Education, last updated 2009,
http://www.infed.org/biblio/social_capital.htm.
15
. Proverbs 18:24.
16
. “Are You like an Angel or Something?” Amazing Angel Stories (blog), accessed March 22, 2012,
http://www.angelrealm.com/angel_story.htm.
17
. Galatians 6:2.
18
. Matthew 25:40.