Mona Asadi

Introduction to Music Education

Dr. Tammy Yi

October 8, 2019

Reflective Essay B

In 7th grade my best friend, Katie McKinley, dragged me out of my art classroom elective

and insisted I be in choir with her. By my 8th grade year I had already decided that I wanted to be

a music educator. Despite being such a novice to organized choir, I had already realized that

throughout my life, music had been a constant force of happiness and purpose. Additionally, ever

since elementary school I had enjoyed the idea of being a teacher and nurturing students to love

learning the same way that I did, and after one mere year of choral involvement it seemed only

natural that music education was what I was meant to do.

After a wonderful first 2 years of choir in middle school, a lovely first choral teacher, and

4 more years of choral dedication at a performing arts high school and under direction of two

more amazing choral directors, my decision to be a music educator was solidified, almost

unquestioning. Starting my sophomore year of high school I had already taken up the leadership

positions of section leader and student conductor. As a section leader I found it intensely

satisfying to know the music well enough to point out mistakes in my part and lead weekly

sectionals by playing notes and rhythms on the piano. As student conductor I was doing this on a

much larger scale, starting the class off with body warm ups, sitting at the head of the piano and

leading vocal warm-ups for the entire choir, rehearsing the choir through our daily sight-reading

examples, and heading our caroling season by conducting and leading on gigs.
 Looking back, these leadership positions undoubtedly gave me the experience to discover

how much I liked being in front of the class and being in charge of directing music. I found out

that I was extremely good at commanding the attention and respect of my classmates, and that I

had innate leadership abilities. I had an intense love for problem-solving in the classroom,

whether it be about a particularly difficult section of music or about a dispute two people were

having in the choir, which I also ultimately got to discover through achieving the position of

President of the Las Vegas Academy Choirs. The leadership positions of section leader and

student conductor allowed me to be in front of the classroom daily, developing my tips and tricks

to be able to direct such a large group of people and, over time, developing my piano skills

enough to count off and play at least two parts at a time. I learned that kindness and patience are

what best directs a classroom, and that listening to student concerns is integral to your success as

a director and to the success of the choir.

I know that I will be a successful choir teacher one day because of my ever-present love

of teaching, my developed musicality, my ear that is trained to analyze and hear mistakes, and

because of all of the leadership qualities I had the ability to learn through action. However,

coming to Chapman has definitely made me aware of what is lacking in my abilities and what I

can further work on. Coming to Chapman spurred a drastic shift in how I viewed the study of

music. Although by no means did I think I was incapable before, studying at Chapman has made

me realize just how much to music there really is to learn. In high school there was a sort-of

blissful ignorance to the idea of being a music educator; I had not fully realized the scope of all

that I would have to master in college…which is a lot. Parts of me do wonder if I can accomplish

everything I really want to and need to do in these next 4 years. I am an ambitious and

hard-working person, and so declaring a double major in Vocal Performance and Music
Education seemed like something I wanted to do, especially because I hold a strong belief that to

be a good music teacher you must first be an exceeding performer and musician. However, on

top of that I also have external interests to music that I find deeply fulfilling to study in college,

which is where my declared minor of Religious Studies comes in. Especially this semester, I

have definitely contemplated if I can really accomplish a double major and a minor. There have

been many breakdowns and late nights, feelings of little self-worth and shadows of doubt. I often

feel like I cannot be my best self in everything because I spread myself too thin, causing me to

feel feelings of inadequacy. I am stressed and insecure about my piano playing abilities,

especially if I compare myself to the efficiency at which my high school director and professors

play, and I am acutely unsure of myself in the other areas of music education that are not choral

and in which I have no musical background – strings and band, specifically.

I am very aware of how hard I am on myself and how high the level of achievement that I

expect from myself is; this, however, has been an integral part of my personality for as long as I

can remember, and I don’t anticipate this trait to change anytime soon. The first and probably

most efficient way that I can address these insecurities is to really have down pat a system of

organization and time management. Although almost always it seems like I just do not have as

much time in the day that I need, I will admit that the free time I do get is oftentimes not used as

efficiently as it could be. I am a natural procrastinator and, despite how bad it is for me, a

stress-driven person. I have yet to find a balance that works for me, and I constantly feel like I

am juggling my responsibilities and obligations with my mental health, school work, clubs,

relationships, and sleep. Usually one or more of the balls are dropped, and somewhere I am left

lacking.
 Another way I can be helpful towards myself is to know my limits and not say yes to

everything that is put in front of me. I am a natural opportunity-grabber, and this oftentimes

leaves me overworked and slightly bitter about how much of myself that I give and how little

time I have to receive. I can also be a bit easier on myself and know that I do not have to master

everything in these 4 years – that it is okay to still be learning as I get into the classroom, and

throughout the rest of my life. I do not need to perfect my craft all now, and to think that it is

possible is actually absurd. Although I should probably dedicate more of my time to what

challenges me, such as piano and instrumental music education, I should also know that I am not

a perfect human being, and that it is alright to have a specialty and to not necessarily know

everything as well as it.

The reason why I am going into music education is not just about my love of teaching or

my love of music - it’s honestly because of how deeply it challenges me, not only on an

intellectual level but on a self-disciplinary level. Throughout school, achieving in academics was

always accomplishable, if not easy. It was music that was the only thing in my life that I couldn’t

fake or excel at without practice, dedication, and love. Music has taught me a lot in my life and

continues to do so every day, and I know that despite the weaknesses I might have now, music

education is where I am meant to be.