ADOLESCENT EGOCENTRISM

by Ronald Mah
Adolescents go through developmental changes that can be confusing to adults. They no longer think or function as
children, yet they do not yet think or function consistently as adults either. The principles of adolescent egocentrism
ties this fascinating (and sometimes, aggravating) stage to adolescents’ cognitive development. The following is a
brief outline of characteristics of the stage with some simple recommendations on how to respond and help them move
successfully through the stage. Remember, most adolescents move successfully through this stage… you are not
doomed to have them stay here indefinitely. However, many adults also stay in their own stage of adolescent
egocentrism despite their chronological maturity. See Basic Rules of Developmental Theories to see how
development is delayed, stalled, or gets stuck.

FINDING FAULT WITH AUTHORITY FIGURES

Teenagers may come to a realization that adults fall short of the ideal world, that they can now imagine; they notice
the discrepancy between what adults have been telling them how to live and act morally and how adults actually live
and act; and then they have a strong need to say they have noticed this, and then challenge authority figures!
RECOMMENDED: do not take criticism personally, acknowledge truth of adult failures to follow through on
ideals and values.

ARGUMENTATIVENESS
With cognitive development, teenagers develop a new ability to see nuances in any issue. Where previously, they
sought and were satisfied with simple and singular answers and perspectives, they now recognize that there are
multiple perspectives to everything. With that comes a strong desire to discuss and argue these nuances.
RECOMMENDED: encourage and take part in the discussion of various conflicting principles, while
avoiding
discussing personality, that is taking or making it personal.

SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
Teenagers may have an imaginary audience that they believe is scrutinizing their every move (and pimple!). This
extreme self-consciousness in dealing with their identity struggles of their age and stage assumes that everyone else is
just as obsessed them as they are themselves! They have trouble distinguishing what is interesting to themselves
(themself!) and what is interesting to others.
RECOMMENDED: offer reality checks as to the relative attention and inattention that others give them &
support their self-esteem which suffers through this self-consciousness.

SELF-CENTEREDNESS
Teenagers often have a personal fable- the conviction that they are special, that their experience is unique, and that
they're not subject to the same rules as others; can be a grandiose sense of immortality or invulnerability; in other
words, what has happened to others (the experience of alcohol or drug problems, car accidents, academic decline) will
not happen to them
RECOMMENDED: support specialness and uniqueness while noting that individual is still subject to same
rules (also that others who have asserted specialness have been burned before).

INDECISIVENESS
Teenagers with maturity, suddenly become aware that there are so many choices (choices that parents and other adults
used to make for them, they now are responsible for). They are intimidated by what they perceive to be the finality of
their decisions. They can become stuck because they fear making the wrong decision.
RECOMMENDED: remind them that they still have choices after making a choice ; and that they have
unexercised resiliency, power, and control.

APPARENT HYPOCRISY
Teenagers may express high ideals and values, but somehow fail to follow through with appropriate behavior. The
relationship between professed and owned morality and behavior that reflects the relationship is not yet clear. Thus,
the emphasis on the importance of respecting others, for example, is not followed by consistent respectful behavior
when upset or angry. The consistency of the translation from values to behavior is undermined by multiple
unarticulated and unconsidered exceptions.
RECOMMENDED: link ideals and action; challenge that multiple exceptions compromise and eventually
negate the ideals; promote consistency between values and behavior- “being respectful, means doing (name a
specific behavior).”