10 Sacred Laws

of Healing a Broken Heart

 Let go of the past, mend your heart
and find love again
by Vishnu of Vishnu’s Virtues
www.vishnusvirtues.com
© 2015 All rights reserved

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come

completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and
everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth,
it would look like complete destruction.”
~ Cynthia Occelli
Table of Contents
Let go of the past, mend your heart
My Journey to Love
My Journey to Heartbreak (and You)
Sacred Law 1: The Law of Acceptance
Sacred Law 2: The Law of Compassion
Sacred Law 3: The Law of Oneness
Sacred Law 4: The Law of Letting Go
Sacred Law 5: The Law of Truth
Sacred Law 6: The Law of Now
Sacred Law 7: The Law of Wisdom
Sacred Law 8: The Law of the Soul
Sacred Law 9: The Law of Creation
Sacred Law 10: The Law of New Love
We part ways...
About Vishnu
Ready for the next step?
 Namaste.
I want to bow in devotion to welcome you.
I know why you’re here.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve experienced paralysis stemming from
the greatest pain you’ve ever felt in your life – a broken heart. If you’re
anything like me, you’ve wished that you were in the Serengeti amidst a
pack of hungry lions or at Sea World, swimming with the sharks and
hoping to become a late-afternoon snack.
I’ve thought that being six feet under would be preferable to staying alive
and living my life.
After my divorce and the loss of the love of my life, I thought I was ruined.
I was done. Just done living.
I had visions of selling my possessions and becoming a homeless man.
Booking a one-way ticket to India and becoming a sanyasi. Crawling to
Tibet and becoming a student of the Dalai Lama.
When everything you know has fallen apart, what do you do?
When life as you know it disappears in front of your eyes, how do you
cope?
Well, that’s what we’re going to talk about now.
And I welcome you to this sacred message you’re about to read.
I’m writing with an intention of love and compassion, and I’m hoping you
don’t just connect with the words on the page. I want you to connect to my
soul.
Don’t freak out (yet).
I deliver this soulful message to you because that’s how you’ll hear it best.
That’s how transformation will occur and how you’ll become a new
person.
It is the soul-connection where you’ll find hope, love and the ability to
cope. It’s in this place where you’ll see the beauty and wisdom of your
circumstances.
Let’s get started – let’s pick up the pieces of our scattered hearts.
With peace and love,
Vishnu
 My Journey to Love
It started the way generations of love stories have started.
With an email.
Our conversations began with hello’s and pleasantries but quickly evolved
to conversations about our lives and our futures.
Via email, we laughed, cried, and connected.
Before we knew it, we were having long, passionate conversations with
each other on the phone. I was starting law school in California and she
was in medical school in India. (Yes, a future doctor and a lawyer, a match
made in an Indian parent’s heaven.)
Before we go too far into this international internet romance, let me share a
little background.
Coming from an Indian family, a very conservative one, I had planned on
having an arranged marriage. Don’t ask me why. I just considered the facts
about arranged marriages and love marriages and went with the safer bet. I
thought arranged marriages were unions of families, and that families
would do background checks on the other person.
Even though you’re having an arranged marriage, you still have some input
about who you’ll spend the rest of your life with.
This is the modern era – you get a say after two or three meetings. And by
meetings, I mean dates. And by dates, I mean highly controlled events
steeped in culture and tradition. A meeting with both families present,
where everyone’s ears are perked up and suspicions are on high alert.
Anyway, this chatty and enchanting beauty I had started conversing with,
emailing and Skyping changed my mind.
We exchanged photos after a couple of months, when we had already
committed to spending our lives together. Yes, you heard right – before we
even saw what the other person looked like!
When I saw her pictures (we actually sent printed photos by mail – seems
so ancient in today’s world), I was grateful to the Gods above.
When she saw mine, she had to confirm it was actually me – hoping
against hope that maybe I had sent the wrong photos.
The courtship began and occurred behind our parents’ backs. They would
have caused a riot if they knew this.
Both sets of parents were similar in many ways: conservative, strict, a
little neurotic. And both had high expectations for their children to marry
into a “good family.” In a nutshell, that meant status, wealth and
education. Not exactly in that order. Okay, fine, exactly in that order.
I flew to India and spent a couple of weeks getting to know her.
Throughout the course of the next two years, I returned twice to visit.
I paid for these trips with my own money, purchasing flights I could hardly
afford. I played an elaborate game of traveling around the world without
my parents noticing that I wasn’t in America.
Over time, we raised the subject of our relationship to our families, who, in
Bollywood fashion, raised their objections and fears.
Yes, we were from the same community. Yes, we spoke the same
language. Yes, we were both educated, but something still made our
parents uneasy.
Maybe each set of parents felt their child could do better. Maybe they
weren’t sure whether a love marriage would work. Or maybe they just
didn’t approve of a marriage they hadn’t arranged themselves!
Either way, Cupid worked slow but sealed the deal.
Our parents moved from resistance to unavoidability. And from
unavoidability to acceptance and then, finally, to excitement. Our parents
found that they had more in common with each other than the happy
couple did!
We set our marriage date and planned the most elaborate wedding in South
India. Hundreds of people we hardly knew attended.
Women wore fancy jewels and elegant saris. Good cheer and
happiness filled the celebration.
We had fought the system, won each other’s hearts and achieved our love
against improbable odds.
Soon after the marriage, she came to the United States to pursue her
medical education. I was a practicing lawyer (a new one) who had the
bright idea of working in a podunk town no one had ever heard of – El
Centro, California, where the weather, crime and unemployment ran high.
People who lived there referred to El Centro as “Hell Centro.” And I have
more than one friend who grew up there and told me it was the worst
place on earth. It was a quaint desert town in the middle of nowhere and
regularly hit temperatures higher than 110 degrees. There wasn’t much to
do and there weren’t many places to go.
That’s where we started our married life, far from civilization and friends.
 My Journey to Heartbreak (and You)
We soon found that marriage wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
We were young, naive and clueless. Okay, I’ll speak for myself. I had no
idea what I was doing.
Because of my new job, we were tight on money.
Because I lived so far from civilization, we didn’t have many friends in the
area, which was home mainly to Spanish-speaking migrant laborers.
We became isolated and left to our own devices. We began arguing and
fighting about everything from money to where we lived to each other’s
behavior and character.
We got on each other’s nerves and found each other’s weak spots. We
compromised little, argued plenty and forgave infrequently.
Coming from a very patriarchal culture and male-dominated family, I
mistakenly thought that I was in charge of this marriage.
She, a strong and independent woman, thought otherwise.
Also thanks to my upbringing, I was reclusive. I was introverted and
wanted to spend more time at home by myself. I didn’t want to talk about
why I was that way.
When she wanted communication and for me to share my feelings, I hid in
my man cave, silent and tight-lipped.
Our fights were intense, passionate and, unfortunately, frequent.
When we moved to Northern California, where I had grown up, we made
more friends and had a stronger support system, but our fights and
disagreements continued and even escalated.
We chose not to have kids during this period because she was beginning
her medical residency.
On some level, we thought a kid would help us bridge our differences and
bring us together. However, we also thought that a kid would make our
lives busier and our difficult relationship even rockier.
We spent much of our marriage helping her get ready to apply for and
start her medical residency. When she finally entered her residency
program, we were elated.
We celebrated her achievement and endurance – we had always known she
could do it.
But her acceptance into a residency and our subsequent move to another
state, where we once again found ourselves isolated and alone, didn’t help
our relationship.
A house that I had purchased in El Centro continued to drain our finances;
the economic insecurity didn’t help our relationship improve either.
Neither did marriage counseling or around-the-world trips we planned
together.
Sadly, our relationship came to an end. She called it quits and wanted to
separate. I agreed in the hopes that our separation would lead to an
improvement in our relationship.
Although I knew our relationship was flawed and our incompatibility was
apparent throughout our time together, I believed that our relationship
would weather the difficulties our youth and immaturity had created.
And though throughout our marriage it was I who, in the course of our
fights, had called for separation and divorce, in my heart I never intended
to separate.
Our relationship was hard but I was reluctant to let it go. I was terrified of
change, scared of losing someone I had known for a third of my life. I
wasn’t willing to let go of a relationship I had planned on having in my
life, for life.
Today, I can look back and see my many faults in the relationship, but these
shortcomings and problems were not apparent at the time.
While I can take full responsibility today, in the moment I was blind.
Despite the fact that I couldn’t see how I was contributing to our
relationship’s dysfunction, I was devastated when our separation became a
reality.
I couldn’t concentrate on work. I couldn’t get out of bed, and I spent many
nights after the separation crying myself to sleep.
Self-pity and sadness consumed my life.
I started thinking that life wasn’t worth living and that I would rather be
in a coffin than moving around the world. I wanted to dig a hole and bury
myself in it.
I had failed in my life. I had failed in this relationship. I had failed myself.
I had failed her. I had failed my family. I had failed her family.
I felt like a complete and utter failure.
During this time I lost my appetite, cut off communication with everyone I
knew, and felt such overwhelming pain I started going to a counselor.
I felt like a ghost going about the world without purpose, care or interest in
anything.
My heart had been shattered and all I could do was stand and look at the
many sharp, jagged pieces lying around me.
How do I move on? What am I going to do? Why me? And what next?
These were just some of the many thoughts running through my mind.
And that is how I got here today. That has been my
journey to you.
You and I are meeting here because this journey of heartbreak brought me
to you.
And I do have some good news to share as we get started – you’re going to
get through this and you’re going to survive.
I did.
You can too.
No matter what you think or how heartbroken you are.
Even if tears are rolling down your face uncontrollably and you feel like
you can’t breathe.
No matter how dire the situation, I’m going to guide you back to yourself.
We’re about to embark on a journey of healing and growth – a soul
awakening.
Once you become aware of the 10 sacred laws of healing your heart, you’ll
never be the same.
You might believe that heartbreak is your life’s greatest setback and that
you’re broken down as a person. I’m going to show you the opposite.
It’s from this place of brokenness and setbacks where you’ll experience
your greatest personal transformation.
You’ll see that your greatest breakthrough awaits you. This is not a setback
but a setup for great things to come.
I invite you, in the following pages, to travel with me through the 10 sacred
laws of healing a broken heart. I will explain each law and provide guidance
on how you can get through your heartache and heal your broken heart.
These 10 laws stem from my personal experience. They are the exact
things I did to get over my past, move on from my ex and move on with
my life.
I discovered them from a place of hopelessness and despair.
I call them “sacred” because these laws of healing not only helped repair
my broken heart, they led to a soul awakening. I lost a piece of who I was
when I lost my ex, but I gained all of myself through the journey of
healing. I awakened to who I truly am as a person.
Our exes, I’ll come to show you, can be our greatest spiritual teachers and
awaken our souls so that we can shine as we are.
Heartbreak can be a numbing experience, but coming out of heartbreak can
shake up your life and enliven your spirit more than any experience you
will ever go through.
Let us start on this sacred journey together.
 Sacred Law 1: The Law of Acceptance
For the longest time after my separation and eventual divorce, I couldn’t
accept that my marriage was ending. I continued to believe we were
together and would be together. I thought this was a temporary bump in the
road.
I felt like I was in a row boat and had lost an oar that would eventually
come back to me. I didn’t want to accept that I was on the Titanic!
To start the process, you must learn the first sacred law to healing your
heart. You can do this by acknowledging your current situation.
If possible, step back and look around you. Analyze the situation, think
about how you got here and acknowledge the place you’re at. Take out the
emotions, heartbreak and sadness for a few minutes so that you can catch
your breath and take stock of the situation.
Once you’ve acknowledged the situation, know that some circumstances
will unfold that you have no control over. Know that it’s acceptable for life
to show up as it does and against your wishes.
When you can’t do anything, surrender to the situation because that’s all
you can do.
Trust that it will get better and that you’ll see the light even though it
seems pitch black right now. Let go of the expectations you might be
carrying around with you. In an unchangeable situation, let go of your
attachment to any outcome. Trust that it will work out in your favor and
for the highest good – even if you don’t know what that is.
Don’t hope for a continued relationship or desire that you get back together
with your ex. Instead, set your intention on the best-case scenario for both
of you. Ask that the universe, in its infinite wisdom, do what is just, fair
and right. Stand out of the way and let things unfold.
Sit with the feelings and emotions you’re experiencing. Don’t try to hide
from them or use alcohol, drugs or sex to numb them. You’ll only create
more turmoil for yourself down the road.
If the feelings are uncontrollable, get help.
Visit a therapist or counselor to help you deal with the emotions that arise.
Experiencing the intensity of the emotions and the feelings you have will
help you come to terms with them.
If you’re comfortable writing about your feelings, jot them down so that
you can transfer the pain in your heart to something tangible in front of
you.
Reach out to close friends and family to share your pain and heartache. I’ll
admit that this was one of the ways I most erred when I was grieving. I
thought I was Superman and that I could handle this pain alone. Instead of
reaching out and sharing my burden with my support system, I carried all
the pain and grief myself.
I became isolated and stopped talking to most of my family for a couple of
years. I had stopped talking to my parents because they could not bear to
see our relationship unraveling. Although they interfered out of love, I
could not bear to have them poking their heads into our tattered
relationship with only one goal in mind: bringing us together.
If my parents were creating undue stress and interference with the grieving
process, I still had the rest of my family and all of my friends for support. I
didn’t rely on them when I needed them most.
I encourage you to not make the same mistake I did.
Accepting the events that are happening to you will take a lot out of you
emotionally and psychologically. Get all the help you can and, during this
darkest hour, rely on the people closest to you.
Accept, trust and acknowledge that your current circumstances will unfold
in your favor. Don’t hide your feelings; be an instrument to experience
them – sit with them.
Let go of expectations and surrender to the situation. Ask the universe, in its
infinite wisdom, to do what is right and fair for both of you.

Don’t run away or deny your feelings. Sit with them, write them down, share them
with people who love and support you.

Have a close support network to console you, listen to you and be there for you.
 Sacred Law 2: The Law of Compassion
“To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as
much as our perfections.”
~ Sandra Bierig

For much of our lives, others have hurt us, talked down to us, criticized us
and lashed out at us. Often, these are the people who love and care for us.
When we enter relationships, we carry around the wounds and empty love
flasks. I’m not insinuating love is a war, but if it were, we tend to show up
for it without the proper gear.
I’d actually like to think of love as more of a dance; to dance well, both
lovers must show up with plenty of practice.
That practice, in a relationship, initially consists of self-acceptance and
self-love.
If you can’t accept yourself, you won’t be able to accept your partner.
Sometimes, it takes a few relationships to awaken us to the fact that we
don’t love ourselves enough. We don’t think we matter. We don’t think
we’re valuable because we’ve heard the opposite our entire lives.
Think about your many positive qualities. Focus on your strengths, your
abilities and your admirable traits. Let go of harsh judgments,
comparisons to others and self-hatred.
When you can see yourself as the soulful and divinely inspired person you
are, the damaging internal dialogue doesn’t hold up.
Be gentle with yourself. Try loving and positive affirmations. Nourish your
soul through a loving-kindness meditation that helps you feel compassion
and love toward yourself.
Once you feel those strong vibrations of love within you, try to be in that
place of love throughout the day. Whenever you interact with others,
allow this love to flow through you to them. Become an instrument of
love.
Be willing to embrace your imperfections and excuse your bad days as
you’re recovering from your breakup. No need to set high standards for
yourself or feel awkward for having normal feelings that everyone in pain
experiences.
There’s no need for harsh internal judgment or criticism.
Treat yourself well in the language you use toward yourself. Let go of
unhealthy self-talk by becoming more aware of it. Be mindful of the
words you’re using in your internal monologue. Try to avoid words that
inflict pain on you or that treat you poorly.
Use self-care, therapy, counseling, yoga, meditation, relaxation, a less-
stressful job and massages to treat yourself in the gentlest and kindest way.
Start cutting unhealthy people from your life and letting go of people who
make you feel worse about yourself, even if they are close family or
friends. At this point in your life, you need a strong and supportive
network, not haters and detractors.
Be willing to say “no” more often. You have to be your number-one guide
and protector right now and the way to do that is to be more conscious
about how you’re spending your time and who you’re spending it with.
You must say “no” to soul-crushing activities and people who zap your
energy. This is a “no” of love. If you’re a perfectionist or people- pleaser
and have been one throughout your life, you must master this practice as
you’re healing. Say “no” to small things and big things. Don’t go to your
family members’ houses out of obligation.
Don’t go to someone’s house simply because it’s the holidays and you’ve
done so your entire life.
People will understand that you’re going through a rough time. If someone
makes you feel bad about yourself, do this: say “no” loudly and boldly.
Every time you say “no” to others, you’re saying “yes” to yourself.
Treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness you would treat
someone who is hurting and in extreme pain.
Be aware of your feelings, what you say to yourself and who
you’re around. Be proactive in self-care for your mental and
emotional well-being.
Practice saying “no” more. Avoid situations that – or people
who – have negative energy.
 Sacred Law 3: The Law of Oneness
I couldn’t move on or even start my process of healing until I forgave my
ex.
Throughout our difficult and dysfunctional relationships, we tend to see our
partners as our foes, our challengers or people who are not one with us.
I’m challenging you to forgive, to erase the walls that you share with your
former partner.
Once you overcome the monumental ego that wants you to believe you’re
the victim, you can see the oneness between you and your ex.
Relationships that don’t work separate us and create walls around us. When
you forgive, you tear down the walls and allow positive energy and
gratitude to flow toward your partner.
So, let’s start with forgiving your partner.
You can write a list from now to your deathbed detailing all the ways your
ex wronged you.
You lost your dignity, your job, your home and maybe even your BMW
because of your ex. You lost your sense of self-worth, your friends, your
dreams and your tax filing status (if you were married).
But it wasn’t all your ex’s fault.
Your ex may not have known what he or she was doing – your ex is
growing as a person, too. Set the intention to forgive your partner for all the
misdoings and false promises. Forgive your ex for the pain he or she caused
and the anguish you suffered.
Here’s the thing about forgiveness. You don’t get to a place where you’re
ready to forgive. You have to forgive first to reap the benefits.
Forgive your ex in your heart. Write out your forgiveness. Say your
forgiveness out loud, but for the sake of Frank Underwood, do not call
your ex and say you’ve forgiven him or her for awful mistakes and
behavior.
Write out your forgiveness and forgive with your heart even when you
don’t feel like forgiving. Take the actions and go through the motions of
forgiveness even if you’re not mentally ready to do so. Yes, I’ll say it –
fake it ‘til you make it. Fake forgiving ‘til you can manage to forgive.
You forgive your ex for yourself – you’re not having a conversation with
him or her.
Find inspiration, motivation and any logical reason you can think of to
forgive your ex.
Say an affirmation of forgiveness. Meditate on forgiveness.
When you don’t forgive, you’re holding onto the hot coals of anger and
resentment.
Your life cannot move on until you’ve said, verbally or in writing, that
you’re forgiving your ex for all the harm he or she caused you and all the
wrongdoings he or she did in the relationship.
Listen, if you’ve separated from your ex after a tumultuous relationship,
remember that your ex caused you a lot of pain. If you don’t forgive your
ex, you will carry the heavy burden of this relationship even longer.
Your ex will plague you every day with bitterness and anger toward him or
her because you’ll recall everything your ex did wrong.
Forgiving your ex’s trespasses is the most sacred law about moving on.
Forget about all the other laws until you’ve mastered this one.
You cannot heal, you cannot move on, you cannot love again until you’ve
forgiven your ex in your heart and mind.
While you’re on the forgiveness track, be sure to ask for forgiveness
yourself.
Once again, write down or journal about the role you played in making the
relationship go haywire.
Own up to your mistakes. Accept responsibility for not being the person
you had hoped to be. Ask for forgiveness, both in your heart and in writing.
Again, you’re not conversing with your ex. You’re forgiving and asking
for forgiveness for you. You’re not going to let your ex haunt you for the
rest of your life.
Finally, to become one with your ex again and to let go of the
trespasses, you must forgive yourself.
No matter how much you were at fault or how Godfatherly ruthless you
were, you can forgive yourself.
You didn’t know what you were doing.
You were not growing as you should have been. You didn’t learn the
lessons from the relationship. You weren’t mature.
It’s okay. You’re not a criminal who needs to be behind bars. You’re not a
monster.
Yes, you lost someone you loved, and, yes, you bear some
responsibility, but you can forgive yourself anyway.
You can’t change anything now.
Forgiveness is a miraculous process. Once you forgive, you can turn the
pain and blame into compassion. If you can forgive others and yourself,
you’re tapping into the depths of your compassion and ability to give.
Forgiving allows you to build your compassion muscle. Keep on forgiving.
Forgive so that you can erase the walls of separation between you and your
ex.
Forgive so that you can become one with your ex. (I’m speaking
metaphorically here, people, not suggesting that you’ll become an item
again.)
Also, forgive so that you can become one with yourself. By forgiving, you
remove the wall standing between you and your true self. You remove the
blockages to your soul and connect with your authentic self.
Your healing can’t start until you forgive. You have to
forgive your ex, ask for forgiveness and forgive yourself,
verbally or in writing, not directly to him or her.
 Set the intention to forgive. Realize that forgiveness is a gift
to yourself, a letting go of resentment and anger.
 Sacred Law 4: The Law of Letting Go
“Let go or be dragged.”
~ Zen Proverb

How do you let go of your former partner?

You let go by ending the relationship. And you end the relationship by
ending communication with your ex.
This can be extremely difficult because you’ll want to hold onto the
relationship.
We’re so terrified of being alone, being heartbroken and dealing with
changes, we’ll do just about anything to keep our exes or win them back.
You’ll become super creative about every reason you want to
communicate with your ex.
Listen, your ex doesn’t need his or her toaster back. Your ex doesn’t need
you to give him or her a message or get an update about
one of your mutual friends. You don’t have to tell your ex about
Grandma’s health or who won your nephew’s softball game.
You may think you’re being thoughtful and considerate when all you’re
doing is holding on for dear life, refusing to accept the relationship is over.
Resist the temptation to contact your ex (no exceptions unless it’s a life-or-
death matter). You can be friends again someday after you’ve both gotten
over the relationship, healed yourselves and don’t have any deep desire to
hurt each other or bury each other in a faraway desert.
That day is not today.
Do not contact your ex. One way to release your ex’s hold on your heart
and mind is to show gratefulness toward him or her and dry yourself of the
bitterness.
Write a letter thanking your ex for everything he or she has meant to you.
Thank your ex for coming into your life, for being there with you during
the tough times and for sharing so many beautiful memories with you.
Reflect on the wonderful person your ex is and how much better he or she
has made your life.
Thank your ex for the companionship, the friendship and for
contributing to your growth.
Slowly release the regrets you’re holding onto in your relationship. Catch
yourself thinking things like, ‘I should have done this differently…’ or, ‘I
should have been more…’ Your relationship happened in the past. Unless
you’re able to change the laws of physics and time, you’re not going back
to the past.
Another technique to help yourself let go is to see the situation from 5000
miles above.
Take a long view or a high view of your situation. When you’re in the
depths of heartbreak, you’ll feel like a Vitamix is blending you up.
When you step away from your life, you’ll see that heartbreak happens and
relationships end. It’s normal, it’s healthy and it’s not the end of
everything.
Imagine lifting yourself into the air. Go a little bit higher, then even
higher. Higher than your home, your city, your state and country. Imagine
looking down at yourself and your situation from an airplane.
With this perspective, you’ll see how transient and passing your heartbreak
is. It’s not the worst event in the grand scheme of your life – imagine it as
just another event that will pass.
Relationships begin and end – just like everything else in the world.
Practice letting go by ending your communication with
your ex.
Thank your ex – remind yourself of everything you’re
grateful for in the relationship.
Step away from your life to get the larger perspective. Learn
to see the transiency of relationships as a natural part of life.
 Sacred Law 5: The Law of Truth
If you were in a long-term marriage or relationship, you’ll be taking this
breakup extremely hard.
Your life will feel like it’s crumbling in front of your eyes, as it did for me.
Everything you’ve known to be true will no longer be true. Every
dream, plan and goal you had will feel meaningless.
This could be a bad thing or an opportunity – your perspective matters
more than ever.
If your whole life has fallen apart, now is the time to build from the ground
up.
Sometimes, life presents us with a mid-life crisis so that we can wake up.
We can ask ourselves, “What the hell are we doing?” and, “What do we
want out of life?”
Now is the time to get honest with yourself. Invest in a life coach like I did.
Invest in a career counselor.
Take your life apart piece by piece and see if it’s in alignment with who
you are.
Your breakup just might help you see that you were living a life based on
a false premise. You could have been living someone else’s life.
Now is the time to explore your principles, your values and what you hold
important.
Now is the time to determine how you want to contribute to and find
meaning in the world.
Don’t let the world sidetrack you by telling you what to do. Society has its
own agenda, wanting you to conform to and do what everyone else is
doing.
Call society out. Challenge society’s dictates.
Unravel and look at each part of your life. Determine what you want to
keep and what needs to go. Recreate your life from the ground up.
Stop doing things to make people happy.
Don’t put off your dreams simply because you don’t see how you can
make them into a reality.
You’ve lost your love and your world seems completely shaken. Use the
tsunami of your life to reset and make bold changes. Find the courage to
create the life you want.
Start over in life. Create a new life based on who you truly
are.
Find out what fulfills you, what matters to you and what your
true dreams are. Set out to live an authentic and truthful life.
 Sacred Law 6: The Law of Now
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had
chosen it.”
~ Eckhart Tolle

After my breakup, I was stuck in the past because that was a place I knew
well.
I was comfortable there and enjoyed relishing the good times.
The present moment was scarier than an Asian tsunami ready to create
havoc in my life. The past was a sunny tropical beach paradise with
margaritas.
I kept replaying the past over and over in my mind and holding onto it for
dear life.
A couple years went by and I realized that my focus on the past was
preventing me from healing. Thinking about my ex and wishing we were
back together was not getting me anywhere. Thinking about the good times,
travels, adventures and laughs we shared wasn’t helping me move on.
The pain of the past was keeping me trapped.
I realized that I was living in the past when a friend brought it to my
attention. I had been writing about the past. I kept referencing the past and
I kept most of my thoughts there.
That realization alone woke me up. Awareness of what you’re doing is a
game changer.
Once you realize you’re falling back to the past, you can catch yourself and
bring yourself to the present moment.
Eckhart Tolle, in The Power of Now, suggests that you can let go of the
past by letting go of the hot piece of coal you’re holding in your hands or
the heavy baggage you’re carrying around. Once you make the decision
not to suffer anymore, you can let go of the coal and the baggage. You
consciously choose to stop living in the past.
Whenever your mind goes to the past, bring it back to the present moment.
Use mindfulness practices or meditation to watch your mind and your
thoughts. Each time your mind goes to a different frame of your past, catch
and re-center yourself.
As Tolle reminds us, don’t get caught up in your thoughts and don’t
become your thoughts. Instead, become the watcher of your thoughts.
Become the watcher of your mind, which loves to get stuck in the past.
The present moment is where life happens. Embrace it, enjoy it and keep
your focus on the only moment that exists – this one.
Don’t let your former lover haunt you. Let go of the past.
Become aware of the present moment and continuously bring
yourself back to this moment.
 Sacred Law 7: The Law of Wisdom
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”
~ Karen Kaiser Clark

Your ex-partner or spouse can be your greatest teacher in life.

You’re crying to God on the bathroom floor and feeling like your ex has
destroyed your life.
But did your ex really do that?
I’m not saying your ex was the Dalai Lama or Gandhi, but could you see
him or her in that light?
Did you gain insights, clarity and awareness about your character and your
behavior?
Did you find out what kind of person you are and what pushed your
buttons?
Did you hit on raw nerves, feel the push on your pain points and get
uncomfortable with yourself and your life?
Congratulations.
You’re growing, learning and becoming a better human – and you have
your ex to thank for all that growth.
As you go through the healing process, consciously note the lessons
you’ve learned about yourself and your life.
Which negative thought patterns do you need to release? Which types of
behaviors do you need to improve? Which bad habits ruined your
relationship?
Introspection and self-reflection will allow the lessons of your
relationship to sink in.
Think about different incidences during which you fought and disagreed.
Were you wrong? Did you handle the situation less than ideally?
No need to blame or scold yourself for these mistakes. Learn from them.
Your ex is a pristine mirror in which you can see the kind of person you
are. You’re a good person with some room for improvement. Just like
school, go back to the drawing board and come up with new ways to live
and be. Become a better version of yourself.
What have you learned about yourself during and after the
end of your relationship? Take these lessons with you.
Make the changes you need in your life. Become a better
version of yourself.
 Sacred Law 8: The Law of the Soul
After your heart’s been broken open, you’ll feel your innermost emotions
and deepest pain.
With a throbbing heart, you will become aware of so many parts of
yourself.
If you’re like me and you feel shaken up, you’re ready for an
awakening.
I’m not talking about Buddha’s enlightenment here, but I am saying that
when life shakes your heart, you’re more likely in a place to glimpse your
soul.
Most of the time in life we are not acting from our soul space.
This all-knowing, wise space of sacred self-knowledge resides deep within
you, beyond your body, thoughts and feelings.
In my former relationship, if I had been coming from a place of my soul, I
wouldn’t have acted like an immature, hard-headed or callous man who did
not communicate.
If I had been coming from a place of my soul, I would have led with
compassion, kindness and love. I would have listened more, tried to
understand more and given in more. I would have realized that we were
one, not two, as the ego tries to frequently tell us.
The ego leads us to believe in our separation from other people. It leads
us to compare, judge and act from a place of anger, superiority and
arrogance.
The soul works just the opposite, allowing you to live a life based on love
and understanding.
As you acknowledge the role of the ego in your life, actively seek the soul
and start living a soul-centered life.
Be willing to sit with the soul. You’ll find the soul in places of silence,
meditation, yoga, quietness and nature. You’ll find your soul when you
stop thinking!
Cultivate more soul vibrations in your life. No, you won’t necessarily find
your soul in religion, but spiritual places and sacred spaces allow the soul
to bloom.
If heartbreak brings you to the temple sitting room or the church pew, go
there.
If heartbreak leads you to a soul journey overseas or to the Himalayas, go
there too.
Your soul is within you and an awakening is at your fingertips. Spiritual
places and religion may help cultivate the soul, but ultimately it is the
journey within where you’ll find the soul.
Your soul will speak to you and guide you through your intuition.
Once you get quiet, feel your soul and hear your internal voice, you will
become unstoppable. You will realize that your true power resides in this
place.
You’ll be able to live with more clarity, peace, compassion and happiness.
Seek the soul and more soul-centered living so that you’ll live
with more love, compassion, peace and kindness.
Engage in activities (meditation, silence) that quiet the mind
and distill the soul.
 Sacred Law 9: The Law of Creation
Although you can’t imagine coming back from your broken heart, I’m
standing here to remind you that you absolutely can. I did.
The law of creation means that you can recreate your life, rebuild your life
and start over.
Not only am I living proof that it’s possible to move on, you’re living
proof that it’s possible to overcome difficulty and tough times.
Let’s look at your past difficulties and challenges. You’re a fighter, a
survivor and a resilient person who never gives up.
When life knocked you down before, you got up.
When you failed, you kept at it, trying to figure out how to improve your
life and succeed.
You know the formula and you have the experience to make a comeback in
your life. You have the ability to recreate your life and start over.
Not only will you start over, you’ll do so with more knowledge about
yourself. You’ll know what doesn’t work for you anymore.
You’ll work on improving yourself as a person and becoming a better
version of yourself so that you can show up as your new self in your next
relationship.
Imagine a situation in which you’ve been wearing the same clothes for a
number of years. Those clothes are your thoughts, feelings, characteristics
and beliefs.
After an earth-shattering kind of experience, these clothes will feel odd
on you. The clothes won’t fit. You’ll have to take them off and put on a
new dress or a new pair of jeans. Your new clothing accompanies
growth, life lessons and the knowledge of rock bottom and what it means
to fail.
When you’ve lost it all and know that losing everything is possible, you
have no pressures or expectations.
Hopefully, you’ll feel less fear and anxiety because you’ll be comfortable
knowing what the worst situation can be. When you’re familiar with the
worst-case scenario – broken, bitter, damaged love – you’re ready for the
best-case scenario.
After you’ve faced the pain of heartbreak, you can be open to the joy of
heart bliss.
You’ve suffered the worst. Now open your heart for the best.
This is the new and improved version of yourself, and you’re preparing for
the new and improved version of your life.
Second chances and comebacks exist. You’re going to do this
because you’ve done it before. You’ve overcome adversity and
know resilience.
Your heartbreak and rough times will lead you to bliss, joy
and happiness.
 Sacred Law 10: The Law of New Love
“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the
barriers within yourself that you have
built against it.”
~ Rumi

You’re now ready for new love in your life.

If you’ve followed through with the other 9 sacred laws, it’s time for a new
relationship.
You’ll enter this new relationship with more insight about yourself, more
confidence because of your past, more self-acceptance and more
compassion. You’re a newer, stronger and more evolved version of
yourself.
I’m going to suggest three changes you can make to find and create new
love.
Trust again with someone new. Don’t assume that because someone
has taken advantage of you or hurt you, everyone will do the same. Don’t
assume the past equals the future.
Every moment is new, every moment is precious. Some people in life are
trustworthy and others are not.
Confront your beliefs about relationships. After feeling rejected in a
relationship, you might entertain every bizarre thought in your mind. You
might imagine you’re broken and unlovable, that no one will want you and
you have nothing to offer. Recognize these limiting beliefs based solely on
your past experience. Now, flip those beliefs – what is the best- case
scenario? You are lovable, you know how to love and, after heartbreak,
you’re an even better lover. You’re a gentler and better person.
Refuse to accept the record player of negative thoughts that fill your mind.
Instead, adopt more empowering beliefs about what love can be. Notice
loving and long-term relationships that exist around you.
Change your vibrations and visualize a new love. I kept the woo-woo
tip for last. To break out of your old relationship, you have to change the
vibrations in your life. More self-care and feel-good activities (massages,
yoga, reading, slow-sipped tea) will help you feel good.
When you feel good, you vibrate out more positive and attractive
vibrations. As you’re vibrating at a higher plane, visualize the person and
relationship you’re looking for in your life. Not a never-ending checklist,
but some general characteristics, qualities and values you’re looking for in
another person.
Think about this person you’d like in your life and write about him or her.
Visualize the person in your mind’s eye. Imagine how this person makes
you feel. Imagine the person introducing himself or herself to you. Make
this imagined ideal partner as real as possible in your mind to materialize
him or her in your life.
The last thought I want to share with you is that a new relationship takes
time. You won’t want to leave your house or meet anyone new. You’ll
view potential partners, and people in general, as untrustworthy and
merciless creatures who break hearts. But, as you well know, not everyone
is like that.
Take one small step every day to new love.
Mingle and meet new people. Say “hello” when someone greets you. Say
“yes” to coffee or a dinner date. If someone wants to set you up on a date,
take a risk and say “yes”!
Do what you’re comfortable with, but also keep pushing yourself out of
your comfort zone. Your ideal person is out there waiting for you. You
don’t want to be hiding in fear when that person is there with open arms,
ready to embrace you.
You can love again if you confront your beliefs and know that
your past doesn’t have to repeat.
Learn to trust again, take small steps with someone new, say
“yes” to meeting and dating new people.
Practice “feeling good” more and emitting positive and
attractive vibrations.
 We part ways...
While I’ve tried to articulate the 10 sacred laws for moving on, you well
know that this is no formulaic potion.
You know the laws, but nothing happens without implementation. You
also know that implementation doesn’t happen overnight.
This is not a 10-step program to be done over 10 days.
If heartbreak carried only 10 days of suffering, it would be easy and natural
to move on to the next thing in life.
It won’t take 10 days, but you don’t have to make your pain carry on for 10
years either.
What I want you to know is that your most sacred – even secret – law of
moving on from heartbreak is choice.
Your sacred ability to make changes in your life starts when you realize
that you have a choice about everything I’ve mentioned in this book.
You choose when to forgive. You choose when to let go. You choose
when to move on. You choose when to take a step toward finding
someone new.
If you’d rather lock the house, drink wine, eat ice cream and watch Netflix,
you have that choice.
If you’d rather get in shape, build a support network, establish a daily
forgiveness and gratitude practice, and start saying yes more often to new
relationships that come your way, you have that choice too.
Do you want happiness, peace, fulfillment and romance?
You can create all of those conditions in your life today. You can move on
and find love when you decide it’s time.
I hope that I’ve been able to remind you that it is time. Life is short
and the days fly by.
You don’t need a relationship because society tells you that you’ll be better
off with a partner. Don’t get into a relationship because of your parents’
desire to have grandkids, your desire to compete with your friends or your
wish to get society’s approval.
I’m suggesting a relationship so that you’ll find even more happiness,
bliss and joy in your life. I’m suggesting a relationship so that you’ll
evolve as a person and grow to reach your potential. You’ll develop into
the best, most loving version of yourself.
I bid you farewell now and I urge you to practice these 10 spiritual laws
daily. If you can’t achieve one of them, set an intention at least to start on
them.
I want to thank you for reading and joining me on this journey to healing a
broken heart.
On your journey back to yourself and toward healing, you’ll meet others
who are in a similar place. You now have a duty to share with them the
laws of healing.
Share your story with them. Let them know the sacred laws of healing their
hearts and share what worked best for you.
We are all in this together. We are all one. Blessings on your soul journey,
friend.
 About Vishnu
My name is Vishnu and I’m the Vishnu behind Vishnu’s
Virtues at www.vishnusvirtues.com, where I write weekly
articles about life, career and relationships.
In addition to writing and blogging, I speak and coach
others on overcoming adversity, recreating their lives and
living their best lives.
I coach clients to help them break free of the constraints of their beliefs and
the prison walls of their lives to discover what makes them feel alive and
sets their souls on fire.
Previously, I worked as a criminal defense lawyer and was living a very
unconscious life. I was doing work that didn’t resonate with me. I found
myself in the wrong relationship and pursuing all the things in life that
wouldn’t make me happy.
As I’ve detailed in this book, my life changed after my last breakup. I
stopped living a default life and started pursuing a more conscious one
based on my values, my truth and my spirit.
I want to thank you for reading and joining me on a journey to healing
your heart and finding love again. I send you the most blissful soul
greeting and wish you all the joy and happiness you deserve.
 Ready for the next step?
Are you ready to break out of the life you’re living?
Are you prepared to get to the heart of your life’s purpose? Find meaning
and fulfillment? Go after your life’s dreams and be excited about life and
work every single day?
Trying to put your life back together? Figure out your calling? Discover
what it is you’re really passionate about?
I provide life coaching to help you find direction and discover your
heart’s desires so you can live a life of infinite joy, abundance and
fulfillment.
Wake up fully alive and vibrating with energy that aligns with you. Let’s
get started!
Visit my coaching services page at www.vishnusvirtues.com or contact me
at vishnusvirtues@gmail.com to discuss coaching.

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