1

Topics Page
10 Mistakes 2–7
Can A Guy Be TOO NICE To Women? 24 - 33
What Causes Women to Leave Men? 34-40
How To Use Flirting To Make Her Want You 40-45
How To Get An "Ex-Girlfriend" Back... 46-52
How To Increase A Woman's Desire For You – 52 -59
How To Meet Women On Myspace & Facebook - 59 - 63
The FASTEST Way To "Get Physical" With A Woman 63-80
Your First Phone Call To Her 80- 93
Meeting Women Online, Getting Them To Call YOU 93-105
Competition From Other Men - How To Handle It 105 – 111
How To Make A Woman Laugh 111- 122
How Women "Test" Men - How To Pass 123 – 200
Stopping A Woman on the Street 200 - 204
How To Start Conversations With Women 204 -229
A 'Magic Personality Trait' That Attracts Women 229- 237
How To Impress ANY Woman 237-242
'Chemistry' And 'Sexual Tension' Explained 242 - 254
What To Say To Women, How To Tease Them 254 -279
Approaching Women And 'Getting Physical' 279 - 287
Should You "Wait To Call Her Back"? 288 - 292
Making A Good First Impression On Her 292 – 304
Is "Confidence" Attractive To Women? 304 - 311
How To Avoid PAYING For Women's Attention 311 - 318
Online Dating Tips - Women Reveal Secrets 319 - 344
The One "Pickup Line" That Works On ANY Woman 345 - 351
How To Get Over Your Fear Of Women 352 - 357
How To Create "Sexual Tension" To Attract Women 357 -368
Examples Of Approaching Women + Being Cocky & Funny 368-388
Women, Body Language, And Attraction 388 - 392
How To Call A Woman To Ask Her Out 393 - 402
 2

MISTAKE #1:

Being Too Much Of A “Nice Guy” Have you ever noticed that the really
hot, interesting women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?
Of course you have. Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female
friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were
never romantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose
the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for
them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to
ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the
success with women you want.

MISTAKE #2:
Trying To “Convince" Her To Like You - What do most guys do when
they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN
"FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you by using “logic
and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to
change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
 3

When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best
to change her mind.
Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3:
Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission - In our desire to please
women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), We guys are
always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them...
EVER.
Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to
like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means, "always getting
her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by trying to get approval. Women actually get
ANNOYED at men who look for their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her
around and want her approval annoy her...

MISTAKE #4:
Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts. How many times
have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers,
and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well
as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
Well guess what?
It's only NATURAL when this happens...
That's right, I said NATURAL.
When you do these things, you send a clear message: "I don't think you'll
like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and
affection".
 4

Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation

for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that
women see this as MANIPULATION.

MISTAKE #5:
Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her Another
huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing
how they "feel" too early on. Beautiful, intelligent, interesting women are
rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in
one-way or another ALL THE TIME by men.
An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who
are interested. This translates into dozens of times per week, and often
HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running
away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You Know, I
really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. These signals to the woman
that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't
control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...

MISTAKE #6:
Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
 5

When a man sees a beautiful young woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual

attraction.
But does the same apply for women?
Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is
something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you those
women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things
OTHER than looks.
Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men
with beautiful women than the other way around?
Think about it.
Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're
attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks
alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication
correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual
attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a gorgeous young woman.
But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY guy can learn how...

MISTAKE #7:
Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks- One of the most common
mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started...
because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who
have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are
a certain age.
And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his
wallet or his looks.
There are personality traits that draw women to you like a magnet...
And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of
these guys.
 6

YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall,
or handsome.
Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and
communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of
powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy
young woman.

MISTAKE #8:
Giving All Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or
permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING
THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the
woman wants.
Another bad idea...
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over...
Women aren't attracted to Wussies!

MISTAKE #9:
Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With
Women -
Now I'm going to blow your mind...
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are
approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language.
That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date
with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and
you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing
her, getting physical... everything.
 7

If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it
up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to
the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.

MISTAKE #10:
Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all.
This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of
success with women that they truly want.
I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't
like to ask for help.
Hey, I've been there myself.
Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful
with women...
About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to
approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.
It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out,
but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night...
right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to
be successful with women and dating.
Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally
figured it all out.
I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost
instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice,
normal, regular girls as well.
It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure
feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone.
I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
 8

I've spent a lot of time, effort, and energy creating this system. I wanted to
design and create a program that ANY guy could easily understand and start
using IMMEDIATELY to meet and date more women... without having to
lie, do dishonest things, or be "manipulative".
I now believe that ANY man can be more successful with women and dating,
and I get emails every day with success stories from guys who are using this
program to meet and date wonderful women.

***QUESTION***
Hey Dave! Your material is phenomenal! I've always been C&F, but
struggled with my ability to approach women I didn’t know. That dam fear of
rejection ran deep. Well, after reading your book and specifically, the
example of your friend who went to the mall just started approaching women
and introducing himself until he drove the fear out, I decided to take a
similar approach. Whenever I saw a women I thought was HOT, (at the bar,
restaurant, library, or pretty much anywhere) well, that feeling in my
stomach would begin. So, keeping your teaching in mind, I took a quick
breath, envisioned myself being successful and moved in with the following
"line".

"Hi! My name is J- and I'm performing an exercise to eliminate the fear of

approaching women whom I find attractive." "Thanks for participating!"

I do that with a completely serious facial expression and an extended

handshake. Then end with a Sly smile and simply go on my way. Well, 70%
of the time I get turned right back around by them and end up walking off
triumphantly with an email or phone number in my pocket.
For the times I don't get turned RIGHT back around, I catch them staring me
down from across the room/bar/wherever I am and I just make my way back
over there when I'm good and ready.
 9

Ok, my question is: I've been dating a lot of different girls. I am usually
able to determine if I would like to make things last with them within the
first two dates. My problem is with the girls whom I just wish to be friends
with or even just put behind me, how do I let them down easy? I don't want
to be a jerk or burn any bridges, but how do I get them to STOP friggin'
calling ME! This is especially difficult after being intimate with a woman.
Some pointers and examples of tact in this situation would be greatly
appreciated!
HOW DO I TURN IT OFF, DAVE?
J.D.M. 26 – Chicago

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, wow... you sure are in a tough spot. Sorry to hear about your dilemma.
First off, great job getting out there and DOING SOMETHING about your fear
of rejection.
I'm glad I could be a part of it.
Now, for your situation with too many women calling you...
The issue here is an EMOTIONAL issue.
If you do certain things and communicate in a certain way, you will trigger
ATTRACTION in a woman.
If you trigger ATTRACTION, you will be far more likely to be in control of the
situation (and you're more likely to be successful with women in general).
Now, just like you can trigger that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION with
your communication and body language, you can also trigger OTHER
emotions as well.
And one of these emotions, for lack of a better term, is called LOVE.
Now, I don't want to get into a philosophical discussion of what "love is", and
how long it takes to feel "true love" for another person...
But I will say that the "beginnings" of love can be observed and described.
Have you seen any episodes of this bizarre T.V. show "The Bachelor"?
You'll notice that several of the women have said things like "I am starting to
have feelings for him"?
 10

When they say this, they're talking about something OTHER than just
ATTRACTION.
In a nutshell, I'll just say that if you ACT like a guy that wants a woman to
LOVE you, then it will often HAPPEN.
This includes:
-Calling and seeing a woman too often -Acting like a "boyfriend"
-"Courting" a woman actively. If you don't want a woman to get those
"feelings", then don't call or see her more than once or twice a week.
Don't act like her boyfriend.
And don't "COURT" HER!
There's nothing wrong with going out with a woman a few times,
then not wanting to see her again.
The problems come when you ACT like you want something MORE from a
woman, and then she starts to see you in a different way and have
FEELINGS for you.
There's something called an "implied social contract".
This is when you do something in a way that "implies" something.
If you do things that imply that you want to be her boyfriend or husband
(like calling and seeing her all the time, paying tons of attention to her,
courting her, etc.) then you are IMPLYING that you want her to have feelings
for her. And she will.
Solve this problem before it happens. Don't imply.

***QUESTION***
Okay, gettin the brown nosin' otta the way first, I love the strategies in the
E-Book! It not only makes you a better date for ladies (I just had a girl I
went out with the other night say literally "you were a much better date than
most guys I've been out with... you're so much more interesting!") but it
makes the date better for YOU as well! When I'm not worrying about
"will she like me" "what does she want me to do" and "am I doin' the right
thing here?" and just kick back and go with the flow doing and saying what I
feel - I have a much better time myself! Just a lil' something that isn't as
 11

pointed out as 'getting lots of women.' I mean, I like going out with lots of
girls too, but I guess I'm just an old fashioned guy who only wants to go out
with lots to find that one really AWESOME chick - so these techniques let me
just enjoy a girl I'm with a lot more because I don't have to act like I need
her, I'm with her by choice, not restriction!
So anyways, my question is where exactly can you find a larger base of
chicks to "try out." Like I said, I'm kinda old fashioned and not a big
bar/club scene guy, so most of the places I've met girls lately have been
everyday spots (one at Wal-mart, one at the bookstore...)
but there just aren’t as many easy opportunities to meet ladies in these type
places as at a flagrantly singles scene. Sure occasionally you get a find, but
there has to be an untapped resource out there for us mellow guys. So you
gotta let me know...is there?

Thanks again - JLC from Florida

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, I personally believe that MOST guys actually want to find "a really
awesome chick" eventually.
But the fact is that you're going to have to date a lot of women to find that
one REALLY AMAZING one.
And I think that learning my techniques and using them with the women
you're dating PREPARES you for that one special woman, once you find her.
So WHERE IS THE SECRET "AMAZING CHICK" PLAYGROUND?
Where can a "mellow" guy go to find the "untapped resource"?
I have a few ideas for you...
1) The Internet
2) Social gatherings
3) Unexpected "regular" places

THE INTERNET
The Internet is AMAZING for "mellow" guys.
 12

Just think of it.

You can place a personal ad, watch how women respond to it, then tweak it
up and watch how the changes improve your response... and do it again and
again.
It takes a little bit of work, but I can't think of a better return on a few hours'
investment.
By the way, check out my Advanced Dating Techniques program for more
tips on meeting women online. I do a whole segment on the topic, and I also
interview one of my good friends who originally taught ME how to meet
women online. I met my last girlfriend online... and she was a stunning 5'10"
high-fashion model. My Advanced Series goes into all the details of how to
do it.
The Internet is just getting better and better for meeting women... try it.
SOCIAL GATHERINGS
It's not hard to make friends.
And if you make friends with the RIGHT people, you will be invited to
all kinds of interesting social gatherings.
Now, certain social groups tend to attract more cute women than others.
I DON'T recommend the Star Trek convention, the Comic Book convention,
or the Chess convention as starting points here.
Get into art. Or try yoga. Or take an acting class.
Meet people. Invite the people you meet to other events that they would be
interested in. Become a networker. Be the SOURCE for great information on
a topic that attractive women are also interested in.
Again, this takes a little investment, but the rewards are often AMAZING.
I can't express how well this works... so try it.
 13

UNEXPECTED "REGULAR" PLACES

OK, check this out:
There is a big "health food" market that's pretty close to my place.
I went there about two weekends ago.
I'd say that there was a total of about 20 people that I saw during my visit.
AT LEAST 5 of them were HOT women.
I probably saw more beautiful women in that one store in 10 minutes than I
saw in the next 2 days.
There are quite a few "unexpected regular places" like this one that are hot
woman MAGNETS.
How do you find them?
YOU HAVE TO GO LOOK.
Go to your local mall at three different times over the next week. Go in for
30 minutes each time and just WALK AROUND.
Try Noon on a Monday, then try Saturday at 4 PM, then try another weekday
in the evening.
You'll notice that ONE of those times is a LOT better than the others.
Then try other places, and pay attention.
There's a busy shopping area near where I live right now.
It's REALLY busy on Friday and Saturday evenings.
During the weekdays at around noon it's about one FIFTH as busy as it is on
a Friday or Saturday night.
But guess what?
Weekday afternoons, even though it's not as busy, it's JAM PACKED with
beautiful women.
They're everywhere.
But on Friday and Saturday nights there are hardly ANY attractive women.
Even though its FAR more busy and there are FAR more people around,
there aren't very many attractive women.
Go figure.
My point:
 14

YOU need to go find those places near you that are the best... and you need
to find the best TIMES as well. This will pay off BIG TIME. So do it.

***QUESTION***
Hey David,
Just wanted to let you and any of the other fellas out there - that our
material definitely works. Initially, I just read the newsletters and started
seeing more and more success. Including a girl within the same breath
calling me incredibly chauvinistic and then hot about 5 seconds later. All
cause I made a joke about cooking and cleaning. She even went on to say
how my attitude only works on 99.9% of girls, but I'm missing out on the
other .1%. To which I replied, "Are those .1% even hot?"
On top of that, I recently messed up my knee playing basketball, and
recently went out on crutches. Within the night, I ended up bumping into
some chick, blaming it on her, and then pointing at my crutches and
shrugging while waving her over from across the bar. She was eating it up!
And despite having a boyfriend, has still given me her e-mail and number.
Now I just gotta figure out when to call her.
I see the same thing over and over again with my guy friends. The ones that
act like wussies, suddenly have their girls telling them they just don't feel "it"
for them. I've even had discussions with my girl friends and they even admit
that they like it if the guy they're talking to has "options" and they're not the
only girl around.
Anyway, I'm also writing cause I have a question on how to handle girls,
especially very hot ones that know they're way above average. Recently, a
girl accused me of being "bad for their ego" and "unable to handle you"
cause I don't sit there and tell her hot she is all the time. One of my girl
friends claims you can only be difficult for so long, otherwise they'll find a
guy who does give them that attention. But, I'm tending to think that you
gotta stick with what got them into you in the first place. Any thoughts on
this?
 15

Thanks man, and fellas get the book; it's worth the $40 you save with girls
buying drinks for you!
AA in NYC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol... yea, women CLAIM a lot of things.
I love it when I'm telling a woman about some of the things I teach, and she
says "That would never work on me" etc.
LOL! (That's short for DAMN FUNNY.)
Look, stop getting advice from women on what will and won't work. Just DO
what works.
If you want to get advice from women, get FASHION advice. Women love to
give it, and it's usually RIGHT ON.
But when it comes to ATTRACTION, listen to WHAT WORKS.
The LAST thing that a "very hot girl that's way above average" wants is a
WUSS that chases her around and gives her all of his attention.
If you doubt me, try it. Your thought of "stick with what worked in the first
place" is right on.
Do that.

***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
Here's the thing. I love your e-book. I've read it and love it. I've used your
techniques with a good amount of success. My favorite pastime is getting the
interest of the girls around me. Regardless of age or whether or not I'm
attracted to them. It's great practice and it's fun. I've even been around a
girl who's with some friends of mine and she's getting hit on by a couple
other guys and she's all focused on me and asking me for my info by the end
of the night. It was never like this before. You are the man!
That said, I'm soooo getting your advanced series. I can't wait to hear
what's in there.
 16

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, good idea.
It will blow your mind, period. If you think you're having fun now, just wait
'till you learn some of the advanced stuff inside that program.

I actually get emails from guys saying, "David, I'm concerned about you
teaching all of this stuff. It works so well, but too many guys are going to
learn it, and it will spoil it for me..."
It's that good.

***COMMENT***
[This is an excerpt from a previous Mailbag]
The only women running around on this planet that "consider their
emotions and respond intelligently" instead of "surrendering to her
attraction against her better judgment" are your MOM and your
SISTER (they're the only two women I can think of that are likely to
be as stuck in their own HEADS as you).
David,
I am following your e-mails, have the e-book and the booklets. In one of the
last threads you mentioned that your mother and sister are the exception.
I disagree.
I stopped arguing with my mother and used some "funny"-ness on her. As
most of us know this woman for all our lives we see her as MOTHER. If you
start thinking about the 'girl' inside of her you can tease her in a funny way
and "REGRET" you are her son because there are ANCIENT rules, as you
know. A sister is even more vulnerable to this behavior. If you tease your
sister with cocky and funny lines she might start 'hitting you' back and she
will start 'complaining' about such behavior to her girlfriends. And, guess
what that can result in.
Unfortunately, I cannot immediately think of a real life situation to give as an
example.
dk from London
 17

>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol...
Good one!
But keep something in mind:
I wasn't talking about just ANY mom and sis here.
I was talking about THIS GUY'S mom and sis.
I'll bet you a hundred bucks that his mother and sister were just as logical,
cone-headed, and dorky as he is...soooo, I'm probably right.
LOL!
By the way, for the rest of us that have more "normal" (meaning only
slightly neurotic) moms and sisters, it's GREAT FUN to practice on them. Just
stop before you get to the physical stuff. Please.
Thanks for the comment!
***QUESTION***
David,
I know you hear this all day long, but your information is truly incredible.
Just your newsletter alone has turned my dating life around and onto the
right track.
On to my question: I was recently introduced to this stunningly beautiful girl
by one of my good friends.
Immediately we hit it off really well together. She is a very cool person and I
think she feels the same way about me. However, she *claims* to be
lesbian. But only a few years before, she was completely straight; she had
dated other guys before. I am always cocky & funny when I am around her,
and I follow the other rules that I have learned on your site. By the way she
acts, if she was straight I would be 95% sure she was attracted to me, but
then there's that problem that she claims that she's homosexual. So what
my question boils down to is, am I wasting my time with this girl?
Should I do anything more/less (for example, being more cocky & funny)
while I'm around bisexual girls?
Thanks for your time,
The man from the Moon
 18

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hey, it can't hurt to keep going with her.
I mean, if things work out, you might be in for the treat of your life.
If not, bisexual women usually have TONS of hot, adventurous friends.
Oh, and you suck.

***QUESTION***
Jedi Master Dave,
Great stuff. I have learned a lot just from the emails alone. But I do have a
question. I have a female friend who introduced me to Cosmopolitan
Magazine. She said if I wanted to understand women and how they think, I
should read the magazine. I was skeptical but I said what the heck, so I
went out and bought a copy. Interesting stuff that women worry about when
it comes to men. What do you think about guys picking up a Cosmo
Magazine to help figure out women? I was thinking about adding a Cosmo
subscription along with my subscription to Maxim and Stuff.
Columbus, Ohio

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Interesting thought.
I think that reading a Cosmo can give you a lot of interesting insights into
women.
Also, it doesn't hurt to be up on the "hot topics" that women are thinking and
talking about... or about current fashion (especially to make fun of it).
But the problem is that Cosmo isn't around to teach men how to meet
women.
And the content often plays on women's insecurities and fantasies... not on
reality.
If you read too many issues of Cosmo, you'll probably start acting a little
freaky.
 19

But I will tell you this much... an issue of Cosmo on your coffee table will
attract a woman and start an interesting conversation faster than you can
light the candles...

***SUCCESS STORY***
I've been reading you e-mail for about 5 months now and i bought your e-
book at the same time. Since i started receiving your e-mail, i noticed that a
lot of people think that your material teach guys how to be someone we're
not in order to get a girl. In fact, i think that what you have taught me is
more of how to be MYSELF around women instead of SOMEONE ELSE.
I used to think that i should hold back some part of my personality when i
was around women because i thought that may be they wouldn't like it and
run away (and in all case, it's what happened) but in fact, i've learned that if
she knows about these parts of my personality, it's easy to have a good
laugh about it, then i feel much more comfortable and natural around her,
and she could also share some parts of her's with me too (witch make us
know each other much better)...
In any case, i can't lose because if she doesn’t like it and SHE IS running
away, at least I’ll save a lot of time that would have been spent with a girl
who can't like me for who i am and probably don't have any sense of
humour.
Finaly, i just wanted to say to those who still doubt that this stuff works that
not only did i doubled my dating, but I also sleeped with 2 beautiful girls
lately (a 8.5 and a 9 to my scale) and we where cuddling and kissing all
night. I never believed that it could happen to me! I've also learned to enjoy
myself and meet women in any situation witch makes my life much more
interesting. Your book would be worth it even if i haven't had doubled my
dating just because of all the part of my life that your book have helped me
to improve!
Hey, when you think about it, when is the last time you went to a library,
bought a book and received weekly updates of this book after that???
Good job David
 20

GT from Quebec Canada

(Yes i'm a french canadian so sorry if my English is not perfect)

>>>MY COMMENTS:
YES YES YES! (No, I'm not touching myself.)
The fact is that my materials are all about teaching men to act MORE
authentic, not LESS authentic. Sure, I teach "techniques" to use.
Sure, I teach how to talk to women and what to say.

But remember, there was a time when you didn't know how to kiss a
woman... but now you do.
How is that possible?
No, it wasn't from kissing your mom (at least, I hope not).
It was because you LEARNED HOW.
I could say to you "Well, you're not being YOURSELF when you kiss women",
because you're doing something that you LEARNED how to do.
Or I could say "You had to LEARN how to kiss a woman first, but now that
you know how, you can just DO IT, and be YOURSELF when you do".
My materials are the same deal.
Once you LEARN THEM, you realize that they're the "natural" things to do...
This is the stuff that the "naturals" - the guys who are "naturally successful"
with women do.
That's where I learned most of it!
Thanks for the email and the success story. Congrats.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
Oh man, what a story. So, about a year ago, for a prom date, my friend sets
me up with a girl he knows (i know man, i couldn't even get a date for prom
on my own). She's really good looking, funny, and intelligent, surely a 9 or
10. Major bomb, Dave. By the end of the night, she's practically hooked up
with another one of my friends. On the way back home, I blow it even more.
 21

I don't talk, I don't look at her, I act like a total 110% douche bag wussie
boy. EVEN AFTER THIS, I get a hold of her in the morning, and apologize for
how I had acted. Needless to say, she didn't give two shi*s at this point.
Well, a little time passed, and I talked to her online a few times, just to keep
contacts open. Then it all changed a few weeks ago. I see that she's online,
so I message her, we start talking, and I really lay on the C&F. I say that I
have to go, and we say our goodbyes. A couple of days later, she signs on,
but I don't message her. I wait a few minutes, and I get a message from
her. Of course, we start talking again, I lay on the C&F, and she gets
"mad" at me for "bursting her bubbles." Anyway, this has been going on for
a few weeks now, and I haven't messaged her since the first time. She
keeps asking me when I'm coming home from college, and all of that.
Thank you so much, Dave, for all of your advice. I'll keep you posted with
whats what after I get home.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh YEAAAAAAH BABY.
That's what I'M talking about.
I was talking to a friend today about some of the things that I teach.
I said to him "You know? it's so powerful when a guy reads my stuff for
awhile and thinks to himself "This stuff will never work... this stuff could
NEVER work..." etc. But then one day, after having NOTHING work, he says,
"OK, what the hell, I'll try it"... and behold, the woman he's talking to
LIGHTS UP and starts responding!
He then becomes an instant believer..."
It's not too hard to prove to yourself that this stuff works with women. Just
try it a few times.
Thanks for your email. You'd better email and let me know what happens.
Remind me when you do, so I remember who you are.
 22

***COMMENT***
Hey Dave-
I could share plenty of my success stories with you but you get plenty of
those. And the DVD's cover any questions I have. Just wanted to share
something with you and my fellow Casanovas out there.
Recently I was ill and quite bed-ridden and found my self-flipping endlessly
through the 300+ TV channels at a girlfriend's house. I came across some
Dating shows I would normally dismiss as stupid. (Blind date, elimidate, the
5th wheel) Man these shows are invaluable!
As a performer (I'm a musician) the first time I saw myself play on videotape
HIT ME HARD. I saw everything I was doing which I normally could not. Not
just the way I was playing, but my posture, my body language, etc.
The same is true of dating. However, we don't usually have the opportunity
to videotape our dates and then go study them for future reference. But
shows like these essentially do the same thing because 99% of the times,
guys make the same mistakes. I know, of course, that experience is the
only way to improve. But these shows just further prove what you're saying.
Peace- PS
Bloomington, IN -mecca of beautiful single women

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, you're right... but unfortunately the way that they USUALLY prove that
I'm right is because most of the guys on these shows are DEPRESSINGLY
HORRIBLE with women.
When I watch one of these shows I want to reach through the T.V. and
shake the Wussbag out of them! But they are valuable, and I do recommend
that guys watch them to see how things work (even if it is staged and a little
fake).
Of course, as you mentioned above, my DVD program is the REAL way to
learn fast. And it DOES answer all the questions. But here's an interesting
benefit that you comes from going through my Advanced Dating Techniques
program...
 23

It actually CHANGES HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD.

The first time you listen to it or watch it, you'll be hitting your head saying
"Ah ha! Ah ha!" the whole time. All of those things that have happened to
you with women will start to make sense.
All of the times you screwed up will stop bothering you, because you'll "get"
what happened... and all of the times that things worked will also make
sense.
Of course, you'll also be shaking your head as you learn some of the most
amazing techniques for approaching women, getting numbers, getting dates,
and taking things to a more "physical level" that have ever been Created.
(For example, I share all of my own personal favorite "pick up lines" that
work better than anything I’ve ever heard of for approaching women... and I
don’t share these anywhere else except my intensive seminars).
But one of the REAL benefits comes AFTER you go through it. This is when
the real MAGIC starts to happen.
When you're out at restaurants watching the couple at the next
table, you'll UNDERSTAND what is happening.
When a woman starts doing something subtle that you would have
never noticed before, you'll SEE it...
and she'll SEE that you see it... and you will instantly be talking to
her on a DIFFERENT LEVEL... all because you know something that
most other guys don't.
When you encounter "resistance" or "problems" or "tests" from women, you
will no longer need to get nervous or upset, because you'll know what TO DO
about it... and when you actually DO the right thing you'll see that problem
disappear.
The point that I'm trying to make is that this education will not only teach
you techniques for meeting women, it will also give you a new POWER that
you never had before.
I can honestly say to you that if this program were available five or so years
ago when I started learning this stuff, I would have gladly traded ANYTHING
I owned for it.
 24

But it wasn't, so I had to take YEARS figuring all of this stuff out for myself.
This program is priceless, and it's worth at least ten times what I sell it for.
As you probably know, you can try it and see for yourself with ZERO RISK.
In other words, order it, go through it, and test it all out... and only pay if
you LOVE it... and if it gets you more dates with women.
I'm that confident that it will take your success with women to a whole new
level.

Can A Guy Be TOO NICE To Women?

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I recently bought your ebook because I have met a girl that i am really into
and I must make it work with her. You are probably busy but I am going to
give you the background story of this and maybe you will have some specific
advice for me.
I met this girl M. in July through a friend online. We got to know each other
some and after a few weeks she came to watch my friend and I at a
basketball game that we were playing in, and I met her in person briefly that
day. Unfortunately, I did not see her in person again that summer because I
was back to college soon, so we talked more online and it went very well. We
really seemed to hit it off and had a lot in common and we were definitely
good friends. I made her laugh a lot as we both said and did a lot of silly
things (she likes that kind of stuff) and we continued to talk and get to know
a lot about each other. I was very supportive of her and she was the same
for me and showed a lot of interest in what I had to say. She wanted my
phone number here at college and I gave it to her, and we began to talk a
few times in the evening by phone too. She also wanted my mailing address
here and sent me a package with a card and some goodies that were related
to some inside jokes we have with each other.

This is when I decided that I wanted to be more than a friend to her and
make a move to tell her subtly my intentions. I just told her that i thought
 25

she was really cool and since we have a lot in common I was wondering if
she wanted to go out sometime when I got back home for break. She really
didnt have much of a reaction one-way or the other and just said that it
would be fun. Well gradually things escalated and we spent more and more
time talking to each other online and by phone, and we exchanged pictures
and packages all the time and I opened up to her more and more and told
her how I felt for her. I sent her roses to congratulate her and she liked that
a lot. She is somewhat of a quiet shy girl, but she is really nice but also very
hesitant. She has never been in a relationship before, and the funny thing is
that this is true more or less for me too. I continued to tell her my feelings
for her more and she would only say that she felt the "same" or "me too".
She said that she was worried that when I got to meet her more when i was
home my feeling would not be the same. So talking till nearly Thanx giving,
it was to the point where we knew almost everything about each other that
we could talk about, and I was really showering her with attention and
compliments (I know, according to your teaching this is wrong haha) and she
just said that we have to wait and see. I teased her telling her that there
were some dreams I had but would have to wait to tell her how they ended,
and she said she would eventually open up to me. Well me got together
finally over my Turkey break and I went over to their house for the evening
after dinner (i bought ...you’re probably saying "doh") and we watched
movies. Their family seems to like me a lot by the way, and I have talked to
M.'s sister and mother on occasions before this. I asked if i could put my arm
around her and she let me, and then before i went home we went for a short
walk and I held her hand to "keep it warm".
Before I got into the car she gave me a hug and I invited her over for
tomorrow, and that since we are an hour away from each other's house she
could stay the night to save time. So we had a good time Thursday and she
met my family, and we played games and movies and such, and I said she
could sit with me in my couch where it was warmer and she accepted. After
the movie was done at about 2:30 am, I shut it off and we just lay there
reclining. I started to stroke her arm and gently rub her hands, and then i
 26

went to her face and neck and hair, once in a while whispering in her ear and
saying she smelt and looked good. She just lightly giggled, and rest her head
on my chest but she didn’t really do any touching herself, but we got out of
the chair at 6 am and slept till 9 am and got up and had a fun day again
playing games and I showed her around town. We played footsie under
neath the card table some but again it was pretty much myself doing all the
showing of affection. We had a candle lit dinner that night and I asked her if
her doubts had been answered yet, and she said she knew how I felt but
that I needed to get to know her more and that she just was hesitant and
not able to open up as much as I am yet. She sat in the couch with me again
Friday night and it was more of the same and then she went to bed at 3, but
I couldn’t sleep that night because I really wondered if I was maybe being
too serious and forward for her. She wanted up at 6:15 and so I woke her up
touching her face, and we lay in my bed for about an hour with more of the
same of me touching her, and then it came time for her to get ready and say
goodbye. I had asked her on Several occasions over the week at what I felt
was the right time if she wanted to know how my dream ended (which we
both know what it is hehe) but she said not yet and maybe later. I had
written her a long note that night since I didn’t sleep and I gave that to her
out by her car and she gave me another hug and off she went. I flew back
out to school Saturday morning and I have been pretty sad, both because I
miss her and because Im not sure if she feels the same way I do.
It seems like she likes all the attention Im giving her that she has never
gotten before, but only seems to reciprocate the same things I say and she
does not open up to me nearly like i have to her. So I have decided I need to
probably try another approach and start applying your methods and see if
that gets me anywhere. I will be home for a break in a few weeks and I am
hoping that she will start opening up to me then, otherwise I am not sure I
want to continue to keep giving myself to her like I have if she won’t do the
same. She does give me a lot of her time so I know she is interested, but I
want her to start really being into me the way I have shown her. So I’ve
been reading your stuff and I think I need to loosen up and tease her a little
 27

more and not shower her with compliments, maybe once in a while, and I
need to start talking to her less. I think I need to be a little more indifferent
but I’m just not sure what exactly to do as far as how sweet i am supposed
to be to her, and the right kind of attitude i need to have. I think I need to
let my "cocky and funny" side come out more but I don’t want her to think I
am not interested in her or that I am a prick.
I am thinking that I need to realize less is more, and give her opportunities
and such but make it sparingly and focus more on just being a fun person.
It’s been almost 5 months knowing her and there’s a lot more I could say as
far as details, but I’m wondering that from what you can get out of this if
you have any specific advice for me? I appreciate it a lot man, and thanx for
the book! Talk to you later.
Mixed up in Minnesota

>>>MY COMMENTS:
You might want to sit down for this.
Sit on a chair with ARMS on it so you don't fall off, OK?
It's VERY clear to me that you've become VERY emotionally attached to this
girl... and that you like her very much (women all over the world are reading
this right now and crying...).
And I know that when you really, really, REALLY like a girl, "things are
different".
I know that this one is different from ALL of the others... and that you don't
want to risk doing something wrong with her... so you're not using any of the
materials that you're learning from me...
In fact, you're saving the things you've learned from me for "later"... just in
case what you're doing doesn't work in the end.
And even though I'm going to verbally beat your ass for all of this in a
moment, I want to let you know that I really do understand.
By the way, I'm only being this nice because it sounds like you're still pretty
young, and have almost ZERO experience with women.
 28

So don't get too used to this "kid gloves" stuff from me. Next time you write,
I'm just going to launch into it.
OK.
Here's how your letter started:
"I recently bought your ebook because I have met a girl that i am really into
and I must make it work with her."
I smelled trouble before I was finished reading that first sentence, man.
Here's what my gut tells me:

You sound DESPERATE.

You sound like the affection-starved human male equivalent of a
hungry homeless kitten.
It's also clear to me that somewhere along the line in your life you got the
idea that if you want to make a woman like you that you should ACT like a
woman.
This is a problem.
From your perspective (which I understand a little too well from your
detailed letter) it ALMOST looks like she might like you. I mean, she's
replying to everything you do in a "mirror image" kind of way. She's not
stopping you.
And sometimes she does something nice in return when you're sweet and
thoughtful...
But you can FEEL that something just isn't quite "right" here.
Again, it ALMOST looks like she might like you...and when you're in this
situation, even small hints seem like they could be "the big clue" that lets
you know that she is just as in love as you are.
But my guess is that this situation is much worse than you think.
In fact, I think that there's a very good chance that it's so bad... so so bad...
that it's probably a waste of time to try to "save" it.
I think that the "hints" you're getting from her are the behaviors of a sweet
girl who doesn't like the idea of hurting you.
 29

In other words, she's probably as far from "into you" as a girl can be... but
she loves you as a friend, and cares about you as a person... so she can't
bring herself to look you in the eyes and say "Hey, you're acting like a girl,
and you've destroyed all chances of me ever feeling any type of ATTRACTION
for you".
So let's talk about some of the things you've mentioned in your email...
The first thing that comes to mind is how much ATTENTION you give her.
In the moment, giving someone attention seems like a great thing. They
usually seem to enjoy it, and you know you're getting approval from them
because they're still talking to you.
The other little "hidden bonus" of giving someone a lot of attention is that
you know they're not getting it from SOMEONE ELSE during the time that
you're giving it to them...
Which gives many people a false sense of security. Heavy, man.
But I think it's time you started thinking of this topic a little differently.
Think of attention, compliments, physical affection, and emotional
attachment like FIREWOOD.
A little at a time is perfect.
But if you put it all on at once, you're going to burn the house down and
destroy everything.
When you give a woman too much attention, you are communicating that
you're OBSESSED.
In other words, you're almost the OPPOSITE of a CHALLENGE.
Have you ever heard a woman say "I just met this really sensitive,
thoughtful, sweet guy that calls me 100 times a day and sends me flowers
and cards and gifts... and I just can't stop thinking about him..."?
No?
Me neither.
Surprise, surprise.
Women aren't INTO guys who are obsessed with them.
Women are INTO guys who are interesting, mysterious, Challenging
… guys who trigger ATTRACTION in them, not AFFECTION.
 30

Here's how YOUR mind is working right now:

"It feels good, so do it."
"She seems to enjoy it, so keep it up."
"I don't want to lose her, so I must continue to smother her with attention."
"This is the only chance I get, so I must take it to the max."
"If I don't do something, some other guy will, and I'll be heartbroken."
Don't worry, this is how MOST guys think and act.
Hell, I did this stuff for years...
But here's what's probably going on in HER mind:
"He's always there whenever I want to talk."
"He's such a sweet, nice, caring guy."
"Maybe if I keep talking to him, I'll feel something..."
"...But for some reason... I just don't FEEL IT for him... and I can't make
myself feel it..."
"I don't want to hurt him, so I'd better be nice to him."
She probably feels a lot of guilt... because maybe she is thinking that she
"led you on".
Here's something for you to think about:
"Getting KILLS Wanting."
If someone gets something, or even knows that they HAVE IT whenever they
want it, that thing becomes much less interesting to them.
As a rule, we humans desire things that aren't easy to get.
We don't want the easy thing!
Just think about it, man.
The more you don't know how she feels about you, and the more you try...
the more you WANT HER.
It's working on you, but you can't see it!
Here's the bottom line:
Going with your emotions, and confessing your love for a girl too early on
isn't always as "good" as it "seems" like it should be.
If you smother her with too much attention, she's going to run from
you and go find a challenging guy.
 31

She's giving you all the "I really like you, you're a sweet guy, I can't bear to
break your heart, and I DON'T FEEL IT FOR YOU" signals.
You need to carefully consider your situation, and decide what you REALLY
want.
She doesn't have experience with men, relationships, and life.
And from the sounds of it, neither do you.
You're acting on emotion here.
You're not THINKING.
I didn't hear you say "Yea, well I've thought this over, and it makes a lot of
sense for her and I to be together..."
You're acting like a textbook WUSSBAG, dude. It's time to face that reality...
If you were in a court of law right now trying to prove that you weren't a
WUSSY, you would not be able to provide even a shred of evidence to
support your case.
If the jury was made up of your mom, Juliet (Romeo's girlfriend), Celine
Dion, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Belle from Beauty and the Beast,
Michael Jackson, and all five guys from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy",
even THEY would reach a UNANIMOUS verdict:
WUSSY!
They might even ask you to provide evidence that you're MALE... based on
your testimony here.
And you've only got yourself to thank for it.
You did it all.
Here's something for you to remember:
Attention from a man can be like a DRUG for a woman... even if she isn't
attracted to him.
A woman will often allow a guy that is IN LOVE with her to pour his
heart out, confess his feelings, and demonstrate his devotion... even
though she has ZERO INTENTION of feeling the same way herself.
And if you have a young woman who has never been in a
relationship with a guy, this could be an even BIGGER probability.
Here's my guess: 95% chance she's not into you.
 32

5% chance she is into you, but she's just too young, inexperienced, shy, or
whatever to know what to do about it... or maybe she has some kind of
strange religious programming that has brainwashed her into thinking that
she needs to marry you before kissing you. But doubtful.

You're in one BI-ATCH of a situation.

You're emotionally attached to this girl, and you "like-like" her.
She's emotionally attached to you, but she most likely DOES NOT "like-like"
YOU.
What you do here is your choice, but the chances of something working out
are slim-to-none, because you didn't create ATTRACTION at the beginning
with this girl.
And even if there were some sparks initially, your Wussy behavior has
almost surely killed them all off for good.
SOME GOOD NEWS
Now that I've dealt you the bad news, let's talk about the future.
Let's talk about what you can learn from this experience.
And let's talk about how to use what you've learned to make your life great
in the future.
And who knows, maybe after you get your act together, and this girl gets a
little bit of life and relationship experience, you just might get lucky and
meet her in an airport and she'll forget what a girly-man you used to be...
Actually, probably not. But it was a nice thought.
In the future, if you are "interested" in a girl, you must remember to be a
MAN around her.
Women feel ATTRACTION for MEN.
They feel AFFECTION for "nice guys" that become FRIENDS.
Instead of waiting until the very end, when you are convinced that a woman
isn't into you, before doing what you're learning from me… do it from the
BEGINNING.
You must SPARK the ATTRACTION right from the start.
You can't wait until the end, man.
 33

What you were doing was like trying to take all the ingredients of a cake and
bake them, then mix them.
It doesn't work that way.
In the future, you need to do the right things, in the right order.
You've learned a valuable lesson. So appreciate what you've learned... even
though it's hard.
You're off to a good start now that you've read my eBook... but it really
sounds to me like you need to REPROGRAM YOUR MIND.
It sounds like you need a complete overhaul of your thinking.
It sounds like you need a major DE-WUSSING, followed by a ground-up
education on how to think, act, and communicate in a way that makes
women feel ATTRACTION for you...
You NEED to get yourself a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques
program.
There's just no two ways about it.
You wasted probably ten times as much time, energy, money, and emotional
distress in this relationship as you would have invested in getting and
learning from my program.
And it would have not only saved you a lot of time and money, but also the
damn emotional PAIN that you have to endure.
Take it from me... I've been in your shoes.
I know what it feels like to be doing every possible thing and giving, as much
as humanly possible... only to have a girl respond by saying "I don't know
how I feel" or "I just think we should be friends".
It sucks.
But it doesn't have to be this way!
If you will invest in yourself and do yourself the favor of getting this
education, you can take control of this area of your life... and avoid
situations like this in the future.
 34

What Causes Women To Leave Men?

Why do women leave men?
Interesting question, isn't it?
We've all had women leave us...
And we've all been in the situation, wondering why she was leaving... and
willing to do literally ANYTHING to get her to stay.
Read the following scenarios, and nod your head silently if you can identify
with any of them:
-You met an incredible woman, and you really hit it off at the beginning. But
the more time you spent with her, the less interested she became...but the
MORE interested you became. You could feel the balance of power shifting,
but there was nothing you could do about it. Eventually she just stopped
seeing you, but she never explained why in a way that made any sense...
-You were seeing a woman for several months, maybe even a year or so.
Everything seemed fine. But then one day she came to you and said "I don't
know how I feel anymore, and I just need some time ALONE... some time to
'find myself'...it's not YOU, it's ME"... but her time "alone" turned into her
seeing some other guy that didn't treat her half as well as you did...
-You were in a serious long-term relationship that had lasted more than a
couple of years, and you were with the woman you thought you'd spend the
rest of your life with. Sure, you had your problems, but you knew that you'd
always work through whatever came up, and she would stick by your side
forever. Out of nowhere, she started acting strange... she started to become
more controlling and angry... no matter how hard you tried to make her feel
better and do nice things, it only got worse. They she dropped the bomb that
she didn't love you anymore, and she was leaving. Or maybe she cheated on
you, then told you as her way of breaking up...
...of course, there are a million variations of these basic situations, but I'll
bet you can identify with one of them.
I can identify with ALL of them. In fact, I've been through each of them...
some more than once.
 35

And I'll tell you... I can remember the PAIN and the DESPERATION I felt
each time.
I mean, it SUCKED. I hated it.
Probably the WORST part of it was the feeling of POWERLESSNESS that went
along with each time.
It's bad enough having the woman you like or love leave you... but to have
to ALSO deal with the fact that you don't know how to change things, and
there's NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT is just plain depressing.
Again, if you've been there, nod silently with me...
Now let's talk about how to AVOID this kind of thing in the future.

THE PROBLEM ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK

The first thing you must realize in this type of situation is that the problem
you're dealing with isn't what you think it is.
Most guys naturally assume that the woman is leaving them because he's
not being "nice" enough, or he's not giving her what she wants, or he's not
being a good boyfriend... etc.
Or they assume that this is just "one of those things that happens", that
"feelings change" and that there's really nothing he could have done anyway.
Well, these ideas, and almost all the others that most guys think, are DEAD
WRONG.
So STEP ONE is for you to realize that what you THINK you know is WRONG.
Throw it out.
Start over, and open your mind to a new way of seeing things. I'll share
more on this later.
YOU CAN'T SOLVE IT WITH MORE OF THE SAME
Now I want to talk about what NOT to do.
I know that this is going to sound pretty obvious, but if what you're doing
isn't working in a particular situation, you need to STOP.
Don't keep doing what's not working.
 36

In other words, if the woman you love is breaking up with you, and you've
been being nice to her, doing whatever she wants, and telling her that you'll
do anything to make it better... if only she'll stay... then STOP.
Stop doing that.
Whatever it is you're doing that isn't working ISN'T WORKING. Duh.
So stop it immediately.
More of the same is only going to get you more of what is happening.
WHY ATTRACTION IS SO IMPORTANT
One of the main reasons why I talk about and teach the concept of
ATTRACTION is that when it comes to these types of situations, the
REAL underlying reason for them is usually that the woman doesn't feel
ATTRACTION anymore.
When it all boils down, she just plain does not FEEL IT.
Now, a woman will say and do all kinds of things OTHER than telling you that
this is the problem.
Women have all these ideas in their heads like "I can't tell him how I REALLY
feel because I don't want to hurt his feelings" and "I can't tell him what's
going on because I don't want to emasculate him" and "It's just easier if I
just go away".
Love it.
But when you take away all of the B.S., and you get right to the core of
what's going on, you'll usually find that it all boils down to
ATTRACTION... or, more specifically, the LACK of ATTRACTION.
I'm going to say something that's pretty bold right now. Get ready.
If you do not know how to make a woman feel the GUT LEVEL physical and
emotional response called ATTRACTION, then you are going to be out of
control in relationships, and will very likely have women leave you for the
rest of your life.
There is no security when you don't "get it" in the ATTRACTION department.
And you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
Women KNOW that they have the upper hand with most men.
As a guy, you can FEEL IT when a woman "has you by the balls".
 37

And even if she's not evil or mean, a woman can still crush you
emotionally when she's in this powerful position.
Well, guess what?
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GIVES HER THIS POWER.
And if you choose, you can KEEP this power for YOURSELF.
SOLVE THE PROBLEM BEFORE IT STARTS
Now, the BEST way to deal with this particular problem is to SOLVE it
BEFORE it even starts.
The absolute most important prevention method is an understanding of
female psychology and ATTRACTION.
Here are a few pointers to get you started:
1) Women are NEVER attracted to WUSSIES.
Women don't feel ATTRACTION for weak men.
Sure, if you chase a woman for long enough, and buy her enough things, she
may "fall" for you. But in that case it's not because she feels ATTRACTION
for you. OHHHHH NO. It's because she feels AFFECTION for you, and she
confuses it with ATTRACTION.
So if your Inner Wussy has been taking the wheel, EVICT IT! Bitch-slap the
Wuss out of yourself. Do it now.
2) Don't be PREDICTABLE.
Predictability is a mortal sin when it comes to attraction.
If a woman can guess what you're going to do or say, you're being
predictable.
If she CAN'T guess what you're going to do or say, she'll always be
wondering...
Now, keep in mind that women are MUCH better at predicting behavior than
men.
So if you're going to stop being predictable, then you're going to need to
LEARN how.
To begin with, PAUSE before you do and say things. Think about
what you'd normally do, then DO SOMETHING ELSE.
Throw in some crazy, off-the-wall stuff for good measure.
 38

Predictable is BAD BAD BAD for business.

3) Don't be BORING.
Boring is the bastard child of Predictable.
When you are SO predictable that NOTHING is new or different, then you are
officially BORING.
Boring is also the lack of adventure, passion, energy, humor, and
ATTRACTION.
Unfortunately, most men are REALLY REALLY REALLLLLLLLLLLLY boring.
I mean like shoot-yourself boring.
Like, if there was a "Boring Score" that took into account everything from
food to clothing to interests to conversation, most men would score a 99.75
on a 100 scale.
It's a bad situation.
I used to be pretty damn boring myself, so boring, in fact, that I could
probably be certified as an expert on the topic.
So take it from me, BORING is BAD.
I don't care WHAT you have to do to stop being boring, but do it.
A few quick ideas:
Take up an interesting hobby. Think wine collecting, not comic book
collecting.
Mountain biking, not chemistry.
Fashion, not X-Box.
You feel me?
Now, this is just a taste.
More important than what you do and talk about is HOW you do it
and talk about it.
There is a way to communicate with women that prevents you from being
boring. I suggest that you pay attention to the things you're learning from
me so you "get it".
IF THINGS GET BAD, BREAK UP FIRST
 39

Now I'm going to REALLY stick my neck out. This one is going to make the
little baby hairs stand up on the backs of necks of women all over the
world...
If you find yourself in one of these bad situations that I mentioned above,
and you sense that the woman in your life is about to leave, then BREAK UP
WITH HER FIRST.
DO IT.
Don't hesitate.
Cut the line.
Hit the road.
No matter what your emotions tell you to do, you have to end it FIRST.
If you want to have ANY chance of having things work out in the LONG RUN,
then you need to TAKE CONTROL of the situation, and BREAK UP WITH HER.
From this position, you will then be able to see things more clearly, and she
will be about 100 times more likely to want to work things out with you.
If you REALLY want to increase your chances of having things work out, then
you should also start dating other women as well.
But let's not talk too much about that, because I'm already in the danger
zone here.
If you take the time to think about it, you'll realize that breaking up with her
FIRST is the best possible thing you can do.
As you've heard me say quite a few times, it's important to give a
woman the GIFT of MISSING YOU.
Never is it more important than in one of THESE situations.
I know, this is a damn hard thing to do when you're in the heat of the
moment... but if you don't do it, you'll probably wind up with her leaving...
and you feeling that lame POWERLESS feeling that I described earlier.
OK, so to wrap, let me talk about one more thing...
As I mentioned before, the REAL thing that causes women to LEAVE
comes down to the man in her life not understanding ATTRACTION
and how to make her FEEL IT for him.
And, as I mentioned, no woman is EVER going to TELL this to you.
 40

Instead, she's just going to LEAVE.

When I first started learning all of this stuff about how to be successful with
women and dating, I had NO IDEA that I would wind up solving the mystery
of why women LEAVE men.
I was only looking for the answer to how to get a woman in the first place...
I never even thought about KEEPING one once I got her...
But now I realize that this particular topic usually winds up being the most
important one, because once you find that amazing woman, and get
something good going, you certainly don't want to LOSE her.
And when you find yourself in the situation, and you realize that the woman
you have is about to leave... you would basically do ANYTHING to stop it.
Of course, at that point it's usually TOO LATE to do anything… which sucks.
So one of the most important things you can do RIGHT NOW in your life is to
learn how and why women feel ATTRACTION for some men... and how to
make women feel it for you.
And what's the best way to do it?
I have a couple of ideas...
I'm the only person I know of in the history of the planet who has designed
an entire program around how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you,
then digitally recorded it on CD and DVD so you can save yourself several
YEARS of trial and error... not to mention hundreds or thousands of hours of
study and research.
Yes, that's right... it's as close to a "miracle cure" as you're going to get,
dude.

How To Use Flirting To Make Her Want You

I want to talk about the concept of "flirting", and why it's SO important that
you understand exactly what it is and how to do it with women.
To begin with, women know what flirting is and they respond VERY
differently to flirting communication than they do to typical social
communication.
 41

If you understand flirting and sexual tension, you can begin conversations
with women and have them INSTANTLY feeling ATTRACTION for you.
If you DON'T understand how flirting and sexual tension work, then you're
either going to have to become famous or make a LOT of money to be
successful with women.
I'm going to suggest that you learn how to flirt well, then do it RIGHT FROM
THE BEGINNING in your interactions with women to SET THE RIGHT TONE.
Think of flirting like playing.
Remember when you were a kid and you used to "play fight" with your
friends?
What's the difference between "play" wrestling and "real" wrestling?
And how do you know the difference when it's happening... when your friend
runs up and pushes you down, then jumps on you and tries to pin you?
The answer is YOU JUST KNOW. It's obvious to humans (and other animals,
by the way) when someone is "playing" and when they're serious.
Flirting is similar.
If you start talking to a woman and say, "Hi, you're very pretty. You
probably have a boyfriend, right?" in a normal tone of voice, you're NOT
flirting.
On the other hand, if you say, "Hi, I realize that you're probably shy because
you get no attention from men... so I thought I'd come over here and pay
attention to you..." it's OBVIOUS that you're not being serious. This is
flirting.
By the way, flirting IS NOT simply telling jokes, or trying to be "cute".
One of the concepts that I teach is called "Cocky & Funny."
Cocky & Funny is simply a powerful, concentrated way of flirting and creating
sexual tension with a specific kind of humor.
It's so funny to me how some guys write in because they "can't see
themselves being Cocky & Funny around women" because they don't want to
come across as jerks.
This really cracks me up... because it's obvious to me that these guys JUST
DON'T GET IT.
 42

So let me explain this whole thing a different way...

If you know how to communicate the right way, women will respond
to you RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING with a HIGH LEVEL of sexual
interest and ATTRACTION.
When you know how to incorporate flirting in a Cocky & Funny way, which is
really a form of "adult verbal play", you tune in to a certain frequency in
a woman's mind and cause her to go into a very special kind of
emotional state.
One of the keys to effective flirting is to "get it". In other words, you have to
actually get out there and practice so you get a "feel" for how it works.
I think a lot of guys give up when they try a cute line or technique
and a woman responds by saying "You're a loser." Instead of just
realizing that they need more practice or that the woman might have just
been in a bad mood or even one of those horrible "I don't have a sense of
humor" cases, they take it personally and decide to just have it mean that
they're a failure.
But take my word for it... once you learn how to flirt effectively and
communicate in the language of "adult play" you WILL SIMPLY NOT BELIEVE
how women will respond to you.

Here's an example of some of one of my favorite topics to "riff on" when

flirting... the topic of getting married and us being in a relationship...
and I'll give it to you in the form of a sample dialogue. Keep in mind, I might
have a conversation like this one with a woman that I just met five minutes
earlier...
Her: "I have a good job, and I make good money"
Me: "Nice. I like that in a woman. Want to get married? We could leave for
Vegas right now and be married in about 4 or 5 hours. I need a woman with
money."
Her: [Laughter] "OK, that sounds like a plan"
 43

Me: "But wait a minute... do you think you can support the both of us on
your income? I really want to be a stay at home husband... you know, keep
an eye on the TV and such."
Her: "Oh, no... I won't support you."
Me: "Well, then I'm breaking up with you. It's over between us. I was going
to marry you, then divorce you a week later and take half your money."
Her: [Laughter] "You can't break up with me! I'm not even your girlfriend."
Me: "That's all the more reason."

    ...do you get what's going on here?

I'm taking a normal conversation topic (her job and income) and redirecting
the conversation in a flirtatious, Cocky & Funny way to create a fun mood
and sexual tension (by suggesting marriage, divorce, and breaking up over
her not supporting me, etc.).
If the above example doesn't make any sense to you, then take that as a
sign that you need to get out and practice more. Try it on a waitress or two.
When you ask for something and she says, "I'm sorry, we don't have that",
just say, "OK, this relationship isn't working out... I'm going to have to break
up with you."
In fact, you can say this in just about ANY situation with ANY woman where
she's saying something that you don't like, and it's funny.
When you communicate like this, you're FLIRTING, you're TEASING, and
you're initiating a DIFFERENT KIND OF COMMUNICATION than what most
men initiate.
And as soon as the woman you're talking to "engages" you in this
kind of dialogue, THE GAME IS ON.
There are a LOT of ways you can flirt, and a lot of ways you can be Cocky &
Funny that DON'T REQUIRE WORDS.
If a woman looks at you and raises one eyebrow, look back at her and do the
same... only exaggerate it.
If a woman puts her hand on your arm, look down at it, then look up
at her in a surprised way, then raise your eyebrows as if you just
 44

had a major "ah ha!" realization... then start smiling and nodding
your head as if you just realized that she wants you. This is a
powerful combination because it's funny, and it exaggerates the
meaning in her touching you.

There are a MILLION ways to flirt like this, but the point that I'm trying to
make is that you NEED TO START DOING IT RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING
OF YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN.
It will set off all of your conversations with women on the right foot, and
start a dialogue that creates sexual tension and ATTRACTION.
If you DON'T learn how to communicate with women like this you'll have
BORING, "NORMAL" conversations that NEVER lead to sexual tension and
ATTRACTION.
Remember, women can tell INSTANTLY whether you're flirting with them or
not. If you are, and you're doing it in a subtle, charming way, you'll
get amazing responses.
One of the keys to flirting and creating ATTRACTION effectively, is
projecting Confidence and Indifference both in your voice tone and
body language as you do it...
And in order to project these things, you need to have the right
understanding and BELIEFS about how male/female ATTRACTION works...
and then be able to project them throughout your conversation with women.
If you don't naturally "get" the concept of flirting with women, and you'd like
to learn how to use it to spark ATTRACTION, build Sexual Tension and
eventually take things to a PHYSICAL LEVEL, then I highly recommend that
you get your hands on a copy of my "Sexual Communication" program.
Over the time I spent learning directly from guys who were REALLY good
with women, I noticed something that they were all doing... that most men
literally CAN'T SEE.
I discovered what I think of as a "secret language" that men and women use
to communicate on a "sexual level"...
 45

Well, after discovering that this was going on right in front of me all my life...
and then learning how to use it to attract women... I realized that I HAD to
teach this to other guys.
And that's what this program is all about.
Teaching YOU to speak THIS language.
After going through this program, I guarantee that you'll look at all your
interactions with women very differently... and you'll create a LOT more
ATTRACTION with women... using only your Voice tone, Inflection, and
Body Language.
Oh, and you'll know how to FLIRT, too.
You can check out all the specifics... and you can watch some video clips of
the program here:
The NEXT program you need to get if you want to learn how to FLIRT with
women is my famous "Cocky Comedy" DVD/CD program.
One of the SPECIFIC things that I saw guys who were "naturals" with women
doing... and one of the things that I later learned to do... is what I call
"being Cocky & Funny".
You've probably read about the technique in these newsletters I send you.
This is essentially my FAVORITE "technique", and the reason why is because
it's FUN... and it WORKS.
It's fun for you, it's fun for her, and it works like MAD to spark and
build ATTRACTION.
 If you've tried being Cocky & Funny with a woman and seen that SPARK in
her eye... and the smile on her face... then you KNOW how powerful this is.
Well, this program will take your basic skills and SUPERCHARGE them. I'll
teach you everything from the foundations of humor and laughter... all the
way to specific word-by-word lines for the most common situations you find
yourself in with women.
 46

How To Get An "Ex-Girlfriend" Back...

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
Dear David,
I am a subscriber to your newsletter, and will soon download your e-book
and/or your CD.
I like what you write and I already learned a lot, I believe. But lately you
were dealing with a subject intriguing me more than others: why do women
leave men. Which triggered my question.
Here it comes:
Last year I was dating a woman for several months, in fact it was beyond
dating already, we were close to a committed relationship. And we had
pleasure and fun together, great sex and everything. Then all of a sudden
she decided that it was not "that", she left and went back to her former guy,
a jerk who doesn't treat her even remotely as well as I did. Now from your
newsletter I conclude that this was precisely the problem. At the beginning I
had acted well (even without having your newsletters then), she was
chasing me, not the other way round, and I instinctively did it right,
played the "hard to get" and let her run hot. No wonder she was wild on
me when we finally hit off. But then I must have changed my behavior and
started acting like a WUSSY. (By the way, what does WUSSY really mean,
i.e. the word itself, I am not a native English speaker, I just understand that
it is undesirable with women). And consequently she lost interest and
attraction for me. But strangely enough ever since then she keeps in contact
with me, emailing, phoning, writing that she is missing me, says she wants
to keep me as a friend and so on.
Now the real questions:
1. How do you interpret her behavior? Is she still interested somehow or
what?
2. Is there - according your experience – any realistic chance to get her
back, i.e. to trigger again her interest and attraction?
 47

I should add that I am not sure that I really want her back, in fact rather
not, but it would certainly be nice to get her to that stage again, so I could
then decide in control of the situation as in the beginning.
Thanx for any comments of yours
A.H. Zurich, Switzerland

>>>MY COMMENTS:
So, let's start with the definition of the word WUSSY...
This word is a combination of the words "Wimp" and another word that starts
with P, has a next letter of U, then two of the letter S and finally a letter Y.
In other words, a Wussy (or Wuss), is a guy who tends to behave in a
wimpish, submissive, needy, way.
The opposite of a Wussy is Maximus during his first arena fight scene in the
movie Gladiator.
The problem with being a Wussy is that women are NOT ATTRACTED TO
WEAKNESS... and thus, they are NEVER attracted to WUSSIES.
   Never.
   Ever.
   Ever.
A woman might MARRY a Wussy because he's either the best she can get,
has a lot of money, has courted her for so many years that she finally gives
in, or whatever...
But, she'll never feel ATTRACTION for him.
Women don't CHOOSE who they feel ATTRACTION for, and they don't
choose the emotions that they feel either. It just HAPPENS. Bam!
One problem that a lot of guys have to face is TURNING INTO a Wussy over
time...
When you start off on the right foot, then gradually turn into a Wuss over
time with a woman, that emotion called ATTRACTION starts to go away
inside of her.
A woman will tell her friends "I don't know what it is...but for some
reason lately he's just annoying to be around." etc.
 48

It BOTHERS and ANGERS women when a man that's interested in

them acts like a WUSSY. In many women it actually triggers these
emotions just like dominant behavior triggers ATTRACTION.
Of course, the worse things get, and the more annoyed a woman becomes,
the more like a total WUSSBAG most guys act.
It's one of those "vicious cycles" that usually ends with the woman leaving
and the guy sitting there wondering what he did wrong... and him thinking
that maybe, if he had just been able to tell her just how much he loved her,
that she would not have left him for that other abusive jerk.
By the way, if you want to learn how to DE- WUSSIFY yourself for good, and
become a man that is universally attractive to women, then you must go and
read this before you read any further:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/OnBeingAMan
OK, so let's talk about your specific questions:
1. "How do you interpret her behavior? Is she still interested somehow or
what?"
I interpret her behavior as NATURAL and VERY, VERY PREDICTABLE.
If you do it again in the future, the same thing will probably happen.
Is she still interested?
Yes, she is.
But not in anything more than being your FRIEND.
You have, with your actions and communication, KILLED the
ATTRACTION that she felt for you.
This is something you're going to have to deal with and take responsibility
for. You turned into a Wuss, and now you're paying the price.
You have to come to terms with your Inner Wuss before improvement can
begin.
2. "Is there - according your experience – any realistic chance to get her
back, i.e. to trigger again her interest and attraction?"
Well, this is a sticky question.
There is a CHANCE, yes.
 49

But here's the problem. Probably 90% of the time when I tell a guy exactly
what to do in order to get a girl back, he screws it up... doesn't do it exactly
the way I say, etc.
And, of course, he makes things worse in the process.
THE PROBLEM...
Focusing on getting her back will not only lessen the chances, but it
will keep you from moving on in your life.
The best thing for you to do is MOVE ON in your life.
Ironically, the way to give yourself the best chances of getting her
back is to NOT TRY...
instead, go date other women, and be scarce in her life.
In other words, you're never going to make her feel any
ATTRACTION for you again by staying in touch, being her friend, and
being "nice"... and by trying to "win her over" again.
It would be nice if things worked that way, but they don't.
Now, why do guys chase women, and keep doing the WRONG things... even
after a woman has left?
In our dealings with women, we guys tend to think things like "That's not
fair" and "I did all the right things" and to feel self-righteous because we're
the good guy... but miss the point and not get the RESULTS we want.
Remember though...
Attraction isn't FAIR, it isn't "right", it doesn't care how "nice" you
are. Attraction can be cruel and painful sometimes.
You know, the irony of your situation is that this girl was probably just as
bummed-out as you were about this whole thing happening.
Women HATE it when guys turn into Wussies.
I know, I know... she did things that made you turn into more and more of a
Wuss. It's her fault too... right?
Wrong.
Women do this stuff to TEST you.
 50

They're not actually TRYING to turn you into a Wuss. But if you DO
turn into a Wuss, she realizes that she can't trust you to be a man
and she has to go.
Now, she's not doing this to hurt you, she's only doing it because she
wasn't getting the feelings that she wanted with you... and now she's
getting them with Jerk-Boy.

THE SOLUTION...
As I mentioned, your best bet in this situation is to MOVE ON. Get on with it.
Most importantly, start dating OTHER WOMEN IMMEDIATELY.
Not in a few days, and not next week. NOW!
And, stop calling your ex. Stop responding to her quickly. Stop being her
WUSS-FRIEND.
It's obvious that the LAST thing you want is to wind up "just being friends"
with her... so STOP DOING IT.
Next time she calls, tell her you have a date over at the house, or you're
leaving to meet a woman. Of course, make sure IT'S TRUE, like I said.
Stop being so AVAILABLE.
Get busy enjoying your life.
Get busy dating other women.

If you find yourself thinking about her and wanting to hear her voice,
BITCH-SLAP yourself. If you're feeling weak, have a friend do it.
And when you do wind up talking to her, say the following:
"Hey, calling for more therapy? No-can-do... I have to run to the gym to get
in shape for my hot date on Friday..."
You feel me, dog?
And remember...
In this world, "I was a nice guy and did nice things for her" doesn't
cut it. Attraction has a totally different set of rules... and exceptions.
And if you want to get and keep an attractive woman, then you'd
 51

better learn them. It's a skill, and you're not going to get it by being
"nice" and doing everything your mom taught you...

If a woman feels ATTRACTION for a man, she'll do almost anything

to stay with him. If she DOESN'T feel it, then the chances are slim
that she'll stay around.
These rules are even MORE TRUE when you're dealing with an ATTRACTIVE
woman who gets a lot of attention from guys.
The irony of this situation is that I think it's a lot easier to make a woman
feel ATTRACTION than it is to be a Wuss who chases after her, buys her
things, and annoys the hell out of her.
I spent a lot of years of my life being a Wuss.
I made all the classic mistakes.
I should probably be awarded an honorary degree in the subject... really.
But, over the last several years I've not only learned how to cure myself and
evict my Inner Wuss... I've also learned how to make women feel
ATTRACTION with my body language and communication alone.
I only wish someone would have shown me this stuff fifteen years ago...
If you're reading this right now and it's time that you evicted your inner
Wussy, and learned how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you without
chasing them, buying them things, and giving all of your power away, then
listen up...
THE TIME IS NOW.
This stuff isn't going to fix itself.
And you know by now that more of the same is only going to get you more
of the same.
If you need a WORLD-CLASS de-Wuss-ification, then you need my industrial
strength solution...
My 12-hour Advanced Dating Techniques program is the ultimate training on
how to be successful with women and dating.
It comes on either digital CD audio or DVD video, and it will absolutely blow
your mind.
 52

It has taken me literally YEARS of my time, energy, research, and effort to

figure all of this stuff out...
For every one secret, concept, or technique that I teach in this program, I've
probably tried ten or twenty others that didn't work...
In other words, this stuff is the real deal.
It's me, personally teaching all of the very best secrets, concepts, and
specific step-by-step techniques for meeting and dating women that I
personally use in real world situations.

How To Increase A Woman's Desire For You

>QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Dave,
You are a saint. A giant among insects... Ok, maybe not, but it gets through
the obligatory ass-kissing since you have helped me so much. Let me
begin...
I've had my eyes on this particular girl for quite some time, and I could tell
she was already into me quite a bit, but we had never made anything of it.
Last week, she decided to "be bold" and ask ME out, instead of the other way
around (you can see I'm already doing something right). She asked if I
wanted to go see a movie some time; instead of freaking out and
jumping at the chance, I said I'm rather tired of this whole `movie
date' thing. If she wanted to get me, she was going to have to be a little
more creative. She was rather shocked and felt somewhat rejected. Later in
the conversation, we were got to talking about this stalker (wussy who needs
a life) that seems to be in love with her, and she hates him. He had asked
her if she wanted to accompany him to a football game the next night that
they both were already going to. She said she really wished that I would
come with her so this guy would leave her alone. I thought, "Ok. This will be
my good deed for the year." And said I would go. She ends up driving me to
the game. Upon arrival, she just HAD to braid her hair, and asked me to wait
around while she did so. I stood there for a second, and then walked off. She
started yelling at me to wait; I simply replied, "I'll see you inside the gate."
 53

waved and walked off. Once inside, I didn't see her come in, but soon felt
someone grab my butt (it was her). We went on into the stadium, she soon
saw someone she knew and went to talk to them, dragging me along. I
stood around for a second, then wandered off, since I had seen someone I
knew as well. She comes to find me soon, and we go off to our seats.
Her stalker had seen us as we were going to our seats and decided to stay
with us for part of the night. She began talking to him, and I did my own
thing. I wandered off numerous times throughout the night and
generally acted very secure and like I didn't need a thing in the
world (especially her!). Following the game, as we walked back to her car
I could tell that she wanted me badly due to some things she had been
saying. She drove me back to where my car was waiting and we talked for
twenty minutes or so in her car. There was some hand holding and such
going on during the conversation. She said, "You know we're just going to
end up making out-you're just delaying the inevitable." Bingo. I shrugged it
off, and we continued talking. About ten minutes later, she said, "It's getting
late; I really should be getting home." Obviously a ploy to get things started,
as it was only 10:15 PM. I shrugged it off, again. A few minutes pass, and
she says, "It's late, I really need to go." I say, "Alright." I open the door and
get out of the car. She says, "Where are you going?" I reply nonchalantly, "I
just don't think you want it badly enough yet." Score #2. I walk off to my
car; she immediately jumps out of the car and begins walking to my car as
well. I get to the car and put the key in the door and she sticks her leg in
front of the door with this defiant attitude. I say, "You know, I've never been
raped in an empty parking lot before..."
You can imagine what went on from there.
J Thanks Dave.

Now, on to the questions: First, now that I've used my best line ever ("I just
don't think you want it badly enough yet."), do you have any suggestions on
what to do and say next time to create that same anticipation/desire in her?
 54

Also, you always say that I need to be the first to end the conversation, but
many of the girls that I am interested in are somewhat sporadic and tend to
call, IM, etc. when they don't have a lot of time. Quite often, they are the
ones to end the conversation before I have a chance to. How do I take this?
Should I just reply, "Alright. I'll catch you later." Acting like I could care less?
D. Knoxville, TN

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great story.
I'm sure that anyone reading this would say "Yeah, but she already liked
you"... I wish you would have told the story from the beginning, because I'll
bet you MADE her like you with more of the same type communication that
you described here.
The one thing that you clearly understand here is how SEXUAL TENSION
works.
You understand how to take a small spark of desire from her and AMPLIFY it
until it's literally EXPLOSIVE.
If you keep amplifying and letting the tension build with a particular woman,
this is the kind of result you'll get... and she will LOVE you for it.
Bravo!
Things like making her come up with a more "interesting" date idea, walking
away from her when other guys would have clung to her, shrugging off her
comments about the two of you getting together, etc. are the magic
ingredients.
Most guys DESTROY all the sexual tension at every possible opportunity...
they take every chance they can to SCREW THINGS UP because they don't
know better...
The fact is that most men just don't UNDERSTAND how women get turned
on.
And most men don't understand that if you really want a woman to WANT
you, then you NEED to get her turned on. It's not going to happen by itself.
 55

Here's another interesting aspect of that thing called ATTRACTION:

The bigger the challenge you are, and the more intense the sexual
tension, the more aroused a woman will become... so that when you
finally do connect physically it's pure electricity.
Again, most men can't HANDLE sexual tension. They feel uncomfortable
when the situation isn't "clear cut", and they screw things up.
One of the things you mentioned doing was “shrugging off" her obvious
"come ons" to you.
This kind of thing makes no sense to most guys.
But it makes sense to me.
And it made a LOT of sense to HER.
When a woman throws out a sexual comment, etc. most guys screw it up.
That's because they don't know the SECRET about these types of comments.
When you're a major challenge, it naturally means that she's not IN
CONTROL of the situation.

Attractive women are USED to being in control, so when they're NOT

in control, they get agitated. It really bothers them.
So they TEST. They use all kinds of interesting tricks and tactics to
see if you're just FAKING like you're actually in control of yourself
and the situation.
One of the most obvious tests is throwing out a sexual comment.
She might mention that she loves sex, or that she thinks you guys
have a chance of "hooking up", or some other "tease".
But make no mistake about it, these comments are not at all the
innocent remarks that they appear to be.
She's watching VERY closely to see if you'll take the bait.
It's a woman's last resort when she feels like she isn't controlling
the situation to see if you'll crumble to SOMETHING. -- If you say
something like, "Really? You think we're going to hook up? That would be
cool." Then she KNOWS SHE'S IN CONTROL.
 56

If you say, "Yeah, you think so? I don't know, I'm not that easy..." then it
just dials up the tension, mystery, and challenge.
   OK, so you've asked me a couple of questions as well...
   What should you do NEXT time you see her to keep the tension building...?
   Well, if something works, KEEP DOING IT.
   If she enjoyed it the first time, do it again.
This time wait a little longer. Make her think about it a little bit more.
Women LOVE anticipation. They love to feel the rush that something
is going to happen... but not know WHEN.
If you REALLY want to take things to the next level, take a page from
popular movies and romance novels.
Don't just kiss her. Kiss her PASSIONATELY.
Pull her body into yours as you kiss her.
Then push her away and say, "You're bad!"
Stop for awhile. Make her think about it. Then start again when she
isn't expecting it.
These are the types of things that make women think about you all
the time when you're gone... and call you in the middle of the night
because they want to see you. Really.
Most men are so damn BORING when it comes to this stuff! They do
NOTHING to make a woman FEEL the powerful feelings that she's always
wanted to feel.
You be the one to do it, and you'll be the one she always wants around.

Your second question was about ending calls and conversations first.
The REASON why you should end all conversations and other interactions
with women first is that it conveys a clear message:
"I'M A BUSY GUY. I HAVE A LIFE."
It turns YOU into the one that's desirable.
Most guys cling, and try to keep a woman on the phone for a long time. They
desire a woman's attention and approval, and they make it clear that this is
what they're after.
 57

Of course, this only demonstrates pure WEAKNESS to an attractive woman.

And weakness (or Wussiness) isn't ATTRACTIVE.
If you run into a woman who's always on the run, don't let it get to you. To
put it differently, don't become obsessed with her just because she's never
available!
The answer is to just take things to the next level.
Here's a GREAT little technique...
An amazing and simple way to handle this kind of thing is to just say "OK,
bye" without any other comments.
She says "I have to go, my friends are waiting for me outside". Just
say "OK, bye" and SHUT UP.
80% of the time, she'll say "No, wait! I'm just really busy, call me in a few
days" etc.
You can't "kind of" do this.
You have to be READY.
She's TESTING you by playing hard to get. It's a game. Have fun with
it. As soon as she says "I have to go, my laundry is in the dryer", you
SHOOT back "OK, bye" in a VERY abrupt tone and SHUT UP.
It will create a funny, uncomfortable silence for just a second.
Most of the time, she'll say something in a tone of voice that says "That was
weird", and then she'll give some kind of explanation or ask you why you
were so short with her.
Of course, this is a great opportunity to bust her balls and create some fun
banter.
Again, you'll often have her say something like "I'm really busy right now.
I'm sorry. Call me tomorrow and let's do something". At this point, you can
say "Yeah, if you're lucky. Bye!"
Not cold. Not mean. Just short and to the point.
Then, when you call her next, it was HER that asked for the call.
You get to call up and say "Well, last time we talked you were begging
me to call you... and I felt so bad for you that I finally broke down."
 58

What we're talking about here is DESIRE... and more importantly,

INCREASING IT.
In most interactions with women there is an opportunity to SPARK the
chemistry... the sexual tension... the desire... and then there are many
opportunities to AMPLIFY that desire.
But here's the BAD news:
If you do not understand all of the little steps from the first meeting to the
bedroom, and know exactly how to smoothly progress from one step to the
next, then you're going to keep failing with women.
It's that simple.
If you DO understand all of the steps, and you know EXACTLY what to do in
order to smoothly transition from one to the next, then you are MUCH more
likely to succeed.
One of the most IMPORTANT steps is controlling your own emotions. If
you're nervous and freaked out, then you'll make her nervous.
We humans can SMELL fear and nervousness... and women are the
best at it.
If you'd like to get an ADVANCED education in how to control your own
emotions, how to spark ATTRACTION, and how to go from one step to the
next smoothly, then I recommend you check out my Advanced Dating
Techniques program.
It's over 12 full hours of me teaching all of my very best theories, concepts,
and strategies for becoming more successful with women and dating.
What makes my program different?
Two things:
1) It's easy to understand and use IMMEDIATELY.
2) It "feels right". In other words, you'll learn how to use the natural
dynamics in any situation to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you...
without having to MANIPULATE her "secretly".
As you learn the concepts and techniques and begin to use them in
situations with women, you will see women LIGHT UP in front of you.
 59

You'll IMMEDIATELY notice the different way that they respond to your
comments.
You'll begin to see all of the reasons why you failed in the past, and you'll
understand the "one right thing" to do in each situation... so that you move
FORWARD and stay in control of the situation.
Most of all, it will give you the CONFIDENCE to attract the kinds of women
that most men only dream about dating.
I'm telling you, I used to have no clue about attracting women... but now
that I do, I can date any type of women I want. And it's a damn good
feeling.
All the details of my program are here, along with some great free samples:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries

How To Meet Women On Myspace & Facebook

Or...
"How A Random Guy From Las Vegas Used Myspace To STEAL My Buddy's
Long-time Girlfriend..."

Hey Max,
How many smokin' hot women do you know who have profiles up on
Myspace or Facebook?
Duh... like ALL OF THEM... right?
For women, having a Myspace or Facebook profile these days is practically a
social requirement, akin to having a Louis Vutton bag circa 2004...
The beauty of these social networking sites is that they eliminate the "social
stigma" many of the MOST attractive women have with online dating sites.
You can join Myspace or Facebook to "network", or "stay in touch with your
friends." No admitting you are single and dateless necessary.
Result: Nearly EVERY woman is on them. Life is good.
That is... unless YOUR woman is on one of these sites...
I was talking with an old friend of mine recently who told me a story that I
found a little depressing... but also *very* interesting...
 60

He was in a long-term relationship with a woman he was really into. He had

just joined Myspace and was having fun messing around on the site, so he
told her to join, figuring she'd enjoy it, too.
Something I forgot to mention:
His girlfriend was HOT.
She started getting emails from men.
LOTS of men.
About 400 A DAY.
Oops.
He could see from the comments on her profile that she was flirting with
some of these men... and he started to get a little nervous...
Long story short... she eventually admitted that she had developed feelings
for one of these men, and my friend was forced to end the relationship.
He was devastated, but at the same time, it opened his eyes...
Maybe there was something to these sites other than, "friend-keeping-in-
touching"...
He started checking out the pages of the dudes his ex was flirting with, and
took note of the things that were different from his own.
Eventually he discovered that the guys who got the MOST attention from
women on myspace shared 11 different "traits" - each displayed in their
profiles - that the "regular" guys did not.
He began tweaking his own profile using what he was learning - changing
text, new pictures, music, "About me" sections, etc.
And before he knew it, *he* started receiving emails from WOMEN.
LOTS of women.
I think you can see where this is going...
These days my friend is meeting 5 - 7 new, attractive single women each
and every month on Myspace... and best of all, he's now turned his methods
into a "system" that any guy with half a brain can use to do the same.
Ever since my friend shared this stuff with me I've been twisting his arm to
get him to do an interview with me and share his secrets... and I'm pleased
to say I finally got 'em!
 61

We finished it up a few short hours ago, and my head is still spinning from
what he shared.
Here are just a few of the secrets he revealed:
- The 11 traits you MUST display in your profile if you want women to see
you as a "catch" (Use just 2 or 3 of these tricks and women will be more
likely to respond to your emails... but use all 11 and women will start
emailing YOU out of the blue)
- The 10 deadly mistakes guys make when trying to meet women on social
networking sites that make the ladies see them as DESPERATE LOSERS that
can't meet women in the "real world"
- Why you should NEVER use Cocky Comedy online (I don't know if I agree
with this one, but my friend swears this *other* technique works much,
much better...)
- A quick way to determine what pictures you should use on your profile to
get the best response
- The one thing you MUST talk about in your first email to a woman
- A big mistake guys make when trying to meet women online that SEEMS
like it would get results but in reality REPELS even women who might have
liked you had they met you offline
- How to use online conversations to get the "get to know you" stuff out of
the way and go straight to "getting physical" when you meet in person
- A quick way to tell if a woman just wants a "pen pal" and is wasting your
time
- The place online most men THINK they can meet hot women which is
actually the WORST place to find them
- The simple, "works every time" email secret that TRIPLES the amount of
women who respond to your emails!
- A great way to take things offline quickly and easily
- And much, much more...
   I'll say it again... this guy is GOOD.
His email inbox is literally filled with women writing him to say "here's my
number... call me."
 62

Amazing.
Oh, and by the way... I forgot to mention that my friend lives in VEGAS. He
isn't having these results in some po-dunk town where a "5" is a "10" and
there is no competition. He's in on of the busiest cities in the country... and
he's tearing it up...
But no matter what kind of town YOU are in, I can tell you from firsthand
experience that MOST of the hot women in EVERY town are online these
days... and this interview will teach you how to meet and attract them.
So here's the deal...
This brand-new interview is going "to the press" on Wednesday morning, the
16th.
If you're already subscribed to my "Interviews With Dating Gurus" series,
you'll be receiving it soon.
If you're NOT already subscribed... then you need to sign up NOW (before
Tuesday the 15th at Midnight)... because this is one interview you DON'T
want to miss.
So if you're not already subscribed... well then, what are you waiting for?
I'd like you to think about something for a minute...
What if listening to this one interview actually *did* show you how to meet a
LOT of hot women... without ever leaving your house?
Or.. what if it helped you meet just ONE great woman?
What would that be worth?    I think it's easy to see the value here... but I
want to prove it to you.
I'd like to invite you to subscribe to my "Interviews With Dating Gurus"
series at no risk right now...
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/InterviewSeries
When you subscribe, I'm also going to send you an awesome starter kit with
TWO of my ALL-TIME BEST "double length" interviews... ON ME.
These extra BONUS interviews are each 2 CDs in length.
And they're two of the best interviews I've ever done.
And what if you don't like this interview? What if you think they all SUCK and
don't want to pay for them?
 63

Keep them anyway.

As my gift to you just for TRYING them out.
You can unsubscribe at any time with no questions and no hassles, and
there's absolutely no obligation. I'm serious about this.
It's the way things SHOULD be, isn't it?
Go here to subscribe... and I'll send them right out to you:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/InterviewSeries

The FASTEST Way To "Get Physical" With A Woman

***QUESTION***
I have been using your techniques for the past month and my "popularity" is
soaring. I would like to thank you for finally saying what I have thought for
years. Here is my question. About 5 years ago I used to go to this bar and
there was a server that I was just ga ga for. Back then I was very shy and
reserved. We talked here and there nothing ever happened more than that
and that was only when she brought me my drinks. Well, this weekend was
my first weekend out since I moved back home and she was working at this
new bar, I went to go approach her and all of sudden my mind was blank so
I just backed off b4 she even knew I was going to approach her. How should
I handle this especially since she has been bartending for at least 5 years
she has seen it all and been hit on by EVERYONE! What would you do?
D.V.
West Virginia

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   One of the keys to approaching women like this one who are hit on ALL
THE TIME by guys is to be as TOTALLY COOL AND CALM AS YOU
POSSIBLY CAN.
   By the way, bartenders are EXCELLENT candidates for asking "Hey, do you
have email?"... because it's very low-key and non-threatening.
 64

Try this... roll into the bar, and when you see her, say "Hey, long time no
see... so you're still tending bar after all these years, huh?"
See if she remembers you. If she doesn't, then make some small talk about
how you used to come in the other bar where she worked. But keep it short,
because she'll probably be busy.
Then say "So what, are you married with ten kids now?"
This is a cute way to ask a woman that you haven't talked to in awhile if
she's single...
Then say "Well, I'm going to get back to my friends... good seeing you"...
and just as you turn, shoot back over your shoulder "Hey! Do you have
email?"
If she says "Yes", then say "Great, write it down for me."
Remember, the key is to be laid back and cool about it. Just act like you're
connecting with an old female friend from high school.

***QUESTION***
Now personally I like to describe myself as an idealist, you would probably
dub me king of the wusses. Yet every once in awhile I’ll pull my head out of
the clouds and look at the world around me with some realism. Case in point
is a young woman I met almost a year ago (also the reason i started
subscribing to the newsletter) Now at first things actually seemed to go well
but they degenerated and after careful look around I think I know why. After
one of those lovely "lets just be friends" talks I started talking to one of her
female friends, and oddly enough she got jealous. (approx 2 hrs. later) Now
I have had other female friends tell me she’s flirting with me.... but the best
results I have ever gotten with her is when she told me to sue her. Now
being a pre-law student I wrote out a very complementary and sarcastic
legal complaint it broke down barriers almost immediately, and for about
three weeks we were trying to figure out when we were both free to go out
(we both had 30+credit hours of classes) Sadly it feel through because of an
old boyfriend pissing her off at guys in general.
 65

Now what I believe works so well with cocky and funny, is that it goes
around so many of those internal self-defense mechanisms by giving them
the opportunity to be the aggressor. More importantly, it gives them a
challenge where you can't be made into an enemy. (Unlike the traditional
advice of my friends to go out with another girl to get her jealous) Finally the
well documented phenomenon that while girls may initially like a guy being
super nice it quickly grows boring (much like many college professors.) but
cocky and funny offers a way of being nice but in a different less boring way.
In closing, I just want to say what a deviously simple and effective device
you have cooked up in cocky and funny.
kR
Gainesville FL

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Well, I'd like to extend to you an offer of gratitude and appreciation for the
aforementioned compliments... and I'd also like to recommend that you stop
talking so much like an attorney... lol.
   And by the way, your plans with her probably didn't fall through because
an old boyfriend "pissed her off at guys in general"... it probably happened
because you didn't MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN with her.
   There's ALWAYS time to get together with a woman.
   If she says "Well, I have a lot of homework to do", just say, "Well,
procrastinate tonight... I'm more fun".
   Women generally seem to love it when you say "Cancel your plans... I'm
more interesting anyway". It says all the right things in a Cocky and Funny
way.
   Thanks for the compliments, by the way!

***QUESTION***
Hey!! I need your help with some examples of cocky & funny!! Firstly let me
tell you how your book has helped me after just a few days!! I saw an
attractive girl in a club that I go to often. This was the first time that I left
 66

with a phone number & email address. I decided that enough is enough and
I was just going to approach someone. I walked over to her and asked if she
would do me a favour by requesting a song for me, she asked why I wouldn't
do it and I said that the DJ might play it if she asks cos some guys might
consider her to be pretty which she asked if I was one of them, but I didnt
answer but just again told her to do me this favour. She asked me to go with
her ... I went with her, thanked her afterwards and went back to my friends.
Basically not paying much attention to her for the next 45 mins. When I
(accidentally) bumped into her again, I asked her name, if she had email.
She automatically offered me her address, so I waited till she was writing it
down when I told her to include her phone number, although her actual no
etc... after that I told her I would talk to her soon....... and that
I was going back to my friends, she sat down to have a conversation with
me, but I left. Now this is where I need your help about the cocky & funny.
As I am only beginning, I could use a couple of examples of what I could say
to her, and do I do it on the phone or wait till the actual date?? I was
thinking along the lines of saying I had to ask for her number seeing that
she went out of her way to impress me.... etc... so any other
suggestions please would be very much appreciated.
CJ UK
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Nice job. I love the way you asked her to get the DJ to play a song... and
telling her that "some guys might consider her pretty"... and then not
answering her as to whether or not you are one of those guys.
   Right now you should probably do a couple of things:
1) Email her and say something charming, like "Hey, it was good meeting
you. Let's get together for a cup of tea and make friends... just in
case I need you in the future to get some more DJs to play music for
me..."
2) GET A COPY OF MY EBOOK! If you're doing this well with just the
information you're getting from my newsletters, then you really need to get
the FOUNDATION. You must learn how the whole process works, and how to
 67

put all the steps together. You can literally download it right now, and be
reading it in a few minutes:

***QUESTION***
Do you have any advice for night clubs or night club tactics?
Thanks.
M.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Well, nightclubs are a very interesting phenomenon.
   When you go to a nightclub, you'll see many women that are acting out a
paradox: They're all dressed up in sexy clothes (obviously to get attention
from men), but they're acting like they don't want men to talk to them most
of the time.
   Of course, this isn't always true all the time, but if you go to nightclubs
and bars, then I'm SURE you know exactly what I'm talking about.
   Here are a few pointers:
1) Remember that beautiful women are usually hit on a lot at clubs and bars.
Most of the guys are drunk and stupid... or using lame pick up lines... or
acting like wussies... or offering to buy drinks... etc.
   The first thing to do is NOT ACT LIKE OTHER STUPID GUYS WHO HAVE NO
GAME.
   Don't kiss up to women in nightclubs, and DON'T GIVE THEM YOUR
POWER. In other words, hold yourself and communicate like you are in
complete control of yourself and your surroundings... and like nothing she
does can upset you.
2) Remember that for the first few minutes you're probably going to get
some resistance from most women.
   One of the big tests when meeting women in a nightclub is whether or not
you can keep talking to a woman who isn't being overly friendly.
   Now, some women will be completely cold and uninterested.
 68

   If you encounter a rude or cold woman, just move on... you need to be
selective and not put aside your own standards just because a woman
is attractive.
   On the other hand, if a woman seems a little bit resistant, just keep
the conversation going. You'll find in many cases that after 5 or 10
minutes she'll begin to warm up.
   If you're having a conversation (as opposed to just getting her email/
number and leaving), then you need to turn up the Cocky and Funny
comments, and just play it cool like a friend.
   Bars are a great place for palmistry, astrology, handwriting analysis, and
other "cold reading" techniques. Learn a few if you want to have great
conversations in bars.
3) If you're not VERY SKILLED, then just get a woman's email and/or
number and go. There are so many distractions in bars and clubs that it
really makes it difficult to have an understandable conversation. There are
other guys, usually her girlfriends, etc., and if you don't REALLY know what
you're doing, then you're likely to drop the ball somewhere.
   Just get the digits and follow up later.
4) Try going with a friend and approaching women for each other. Go up to a
woman and say "Hi, wow... you know what? I think my friend would really
love you. He's such a nice guy..." and then talk up your friend. When he
shows up, introduce him. This is a great way to start conversations with
women if you're just getting started.
5) Don't worry about what happens. Just go over and talk to every woman
you see. The women expect it, and it's GREAT practice!
   Also, it's a great idea to find guys who are good at meeting women in bars
and to WATCH THEM to learn how to act. You'll learn a lot from doing this.

***QUESTION***
Dave,
Firstly a good effort all round on the book and newsletters full of useful stuff
and always good for a laugh when I realize that I have done the same things
 69

as thousands of other blokes and crashed and burned in the same way. I've
been getting the newsletters for a few months and also got the book, after
not having any success for over 3 years I'm getting confidence by practicing
the techniques in different situations like with checkout ladies in the grocery
store and other shops, its natural to talk to them, you make their
day as they've been sitting there all day and nobody's spoken to them and
you get feed back on c+f lines, a captive audience, use it guys. I've also
bought a book on Palm reading as advised by you, I'll let you know who I go
on this one.
Ok my question. In your newsletters and book you mostly deal with getting
the e-mail address and meeting up a few days later, which is great if you're
always in the same town. I move around a lot with my job from hotel to
hotel. I'm also leaving my job in a few months to travel the world. With this
in mind I won't have the time to take a few days to mail and meet for coffee
etc as I'm/will be constantly moving on every few days-weeks. Do you have
any advice for closing the deal in a first meeting and then walking away from
it?
i.e. the one night stand, as if I walk away after 3 minutes with only an e-mail
address that’s the opportunity gone. I'm sure there are plenty of readers
that would benefit from some advice in this area. Keep up the good work.
D. Wales

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Well, if you meet a woman in a checkout line or at the desk of a hotel, try
your new palmistry techniques with her, and once she's interested just say,
"Well, I have to go check into my room now. But I'll meet you at the coffee
shop across the street at 7 and tell you more."
   There are 100 ways to use this stuff, of course.
   One thing you really have going for you is the fact that you're NEW to each
area, and you're ONLY STAYING A SHORT TIME.
   Women really love to play tour guide, so ask them to.
 70

   Just say, "Hey, I don't really know my way around here, are you
busy today? Take me to some of the sights."
   Charm them with your fun personality, read their palms, and then have
them show you around.
   After a little area tour, invite them up to your hotel for a drink and some
lip reading...

***QUESTION***
Cocky & Funny Categories
Dear David, using the C & F techniques, and analysing them, I have
discovered that there several classes or categories of c & f:
1) When you are cocky and funning about you. You are saying that you
are the best, or you are very sexy, clever, etc in a funny way. i.e.
Me: "You know, I'm really tired of you women treating me like some kind of
piece of meat. I have feelings too, and I don't just like being thought of as a
sex object."
2) When you are cocky and funning about her. You are saying that she
is wussy, nerd, ridiculous, etc in a funny way. i.e. "Hey, I can borrow you a
wig, but please, don't kill it's roots !!
3) When you cocky and funning about other person, an object, a
place, etc. i.e. Me: "You know, if that chick lost about 200 pounds, I think
I'd be into her"
4) When you are inverting (in a funny way) the stereotypes and
assume than girl must date boy, girl must approach boy, etc i.e:
SHE: "Are you from around here?" ME: "What, are you trying to pick me up?
I'm not that easy.
There are other cocky & funny categories, and some categories mix each
others, but these are the more important (I think). I think that the #2 & #3
are the more powerful and effective categories. I'm going to tell you, in
which case I use them (If the Maestro agrees with me)
1. C & F about me. It's useful, but you can't use it too much, it's more
useful If you are a not a cute boy, if you are awful, (bald, overheight, etc).
 71

You have to use it with care, if not you are becoming too cocky.   

2. C & F about her. It's very useful, (especially on hotties and average
women), and it's very powerful, but I discover that if she has low self esteem
she may get upset (but she will get attracted too).

3. C & F about other things. This is the more secure c & f mode, but it is
generates less attraction than others.

4. C & F inverting stereotypes it’s very funny and it's very powerful, and
easy to see.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   This is a great little set of categories, and it's a great place to start if
you're trying to come up with funny and charming things to say for different
situations.
   I've included it here, so others can use it as a guide when working on their
own situations...
Very nice, and thanks!

***QUESTION***
Dave, Hey, I just downloaded your e-book (finally) and I must say that the
information in it is absolutely invaluable. I have already gotten a few email
addresses and my confidence is really improving. However, there is a few
problems that I have encountered that I really don't have any answer for.
For instance, just the other night a few girls were hanging out in my
roommates and I dorm room at the college we attend. I was pulling the
whole cocky and funny thing on the cutest of the bunch and she really
seemed to be eating it all up. I mean, she was laughing, hitting me (in a
playful manner) asking me questions and just being totally receptive to me.
This lasted for probably over an hour.
 72

However, for reasons I cannot explain, she started showing interest in one of
my friends for some reason. I mean, she was asking him questions, focusing
her attention on him, sitting by him etc. I really don't know what I did wrong
or what I should have done in this situation. Please give me some insight as
to what the heck is going on in a situation such as this one.
Also, I attend a small university so there are many beautiful women to
practice my game on. However, at the same time many of the girls know
each other so I don't want to ask for email addresses like it's going out of
style and get labeled as someone who is desperate. What should I do? I
mean, it sucks seeing a girl you got shut down by everyday, now imagine if
you see like five or ten girls you got shut down by everyday.
Please, some words of wisdom would be tremendously appreciated.
I.
OH.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
As far as your first situation goes... there are several possibilities.
My guess is that you waited too long to go to the next level. Instead
of talking to her for AN HOUR, maybe you should have busted on her
for 15 minutes and then said "Hey, come with me to the store..." and
left with her.
 Then you could have progressed, maybe held her hand, kissed her, etc.
 If you wait too long with an attractive woman, she'll lose interest.
 And by the way, you never know... she might just have liked your friend or
whatever.
 The point is, it really doesn't matter. Just say "next" in your head
and move on.
 And about your concern that women label you as "desperate", who cares?
It's more important that you TAKE ACTION and NOT CARE WHAT OTHERS
THINK than it is that you have all the hot woman on your campus "not think
of you as desperate".
   Just do it.
 73

***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I don't think I've ever seen you address the "friends first" issue... I think
there's a difference between a woman saying "I only like you as a friend" and
"lets be friends first and build a relationship from that". Especially if you
meet the woman from a personal ad which says she wants friends first... (so
its not like she's saying you have to be her friend first when you first meet
her) The only thing that bothers me is if she thinks of you as a friend then
she's still single so she might date other guys and you get to hear about it.
This isn't really a question to a specific problem, but because I'm still new to
dating (I'm 21) and don't have much experience (which is changing thanks
to your great newsletters!) I have run into a few of the "friends first"
encounters and I don't know quite what to make of it… should I be their
friend first, and think it might turn into something more?
Thanks!
SK Florida

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   OK, the only real difference between a woman saying "I only like you as a
friend" and "Let's be friends first and see what happens" is... WHEN YOU
HEAR "LET'S BE FRIENDS FIRST" IT TRICKS YOU INTO BELIEVING THAT
THIS COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN... SO YOU WIND UP SPANKING YOUR
CHICKEN FOR ABOUT TEN TIMES AS LONG...
   When a woman says "Let's be friends first", what they REALLY mean is "I
don't feel a gut level, sexual ATTRACTION for you right now... but you're an
awful nice guy and I don't want to hurt your feelings..."
   If you see a personal ad with "Friends first" it probably means that the last
guy she dated wanted to get married after the first date... and she doesn't
want another loser WUSSY boy in her life.
   Of course, there are a lot of possibilities, but generally speaking, you don't
want to get into "friend" mode, because it's not easy to get out.
 74

   Telling HER that she seems like she'd make a nice friend is a GREAT idea,
because it makes her wonder if you like her, and it creates tension.
   If this doesn't make sense to you, then I'd recommend that you check out
my book or audio series and then think about it again. Until you "GET" this,
you're going to have a hard time attracting a woman.

***QUESTION***
I got your book and the first thing I did was read the short book about Sex
Secrets... lol Now I figured I was pretty successful with the women and
wanted to see how I compared to your tactics... man you nailed it big time!!
I have been seeing this one gorgeous woman for about 2 months now and I
thought about what you said in the book.... to keep her attracted and
wanting more... use anticipation. Well I know she wants me bad and so I
thought I would just see how bad she does, so I talked to her over lunch....
since she only had 30 minutes for lunch I put it to the test right off. She sat
down close to me and looked me in the eyes.... I commented on her beauty
and ran my hand over her leg just slightly to let her know I was there and
what I was thinking... I could see her light up instantly. I took my hand away
and changed the conversation knowing the anticipation was already building.
I told her how I would like to give her a massage... body massage to ease
her stress and she agreed this would be good.... I then ran my fingers over
her hand and then touched her slightly on the cheek.... lol... she was eating
this up. I then noticed she had a slight stain on her uniform and reached to
dust it off... this thru her big time... she squealed a little and said it gave her
goose bumps...lol... I just gave her a slight smile and backed off again. Her
next comment was, I wish I brought a change of clothes here today cause I
am gonna need em'...lol... I knew the anticipation was working! Although
these were things I would normally have done without reading about it, the
book is a great source and it works... so guys if you want to get the heads
up on moving her to the next level, order the book.... you won't be sorry!!
ANTICIPATION!!!
Keep up the great work my man! - R. Canada
 75

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Yes, understanding this concept of Anticipation is SUCH a key to making
women feel turned on.
   I don't mention it much, but that bonus booklet that comes along with
Double Your Dating is a VERY powerful set of ideas and techniques for
getting a woman VERY turned on...
   As you know, there are little things you can do physically that literally
make a woman go crazy with desire. I'm sure you're making this lady VERY
happy... and I'm sure that she can't believe that she's met a guy who
actually "gets it".
   Nice, and keep up the great work.

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave, I liked your book and I love your news letter which is very
informative and quite creative, both by you and also other contributors; keep
it up. Basically I've been a successful guy with the females by being very
masculine and proud of it and I'm glad that in your book you encourage this
attitude. After reading your book I have increased my success with the
females tenfold and I thank you for that. I am 32 but I look about 20 and
even when I was younger I've always fancied women that were much older
than me but I always attracted younger girls who I like as well but with your
help the girl I'm going out with is 33 (she thinks l'm 21 because l told her to
guess my age) and she's extremely attractive (10 out of 10) successful and
confident and men of all ages try to pick on her whenever we go out and l
leave her alone. We met when I went for an interview for the company she
owns and she ask for me to come to her office and after I complimented her
on her business she said l was flattering her and l said "in your dreams,
that's the worst pick up line I've heard all day", and she was so taken back
by the challenge l presented to her that after I told her the compliment was
just to get the job and that she shouldn't use her position just to use me as
a piece of meat. Anyway l poured out C&F on her even told her that l
wouldn't take the job because l knew what she was up to and she said we
 76

needed to talk and she gave me her card with all her contact # and she also
wrote her private home and mobile #. l took the card but l told her since it
was she who is interested in me she should call me and l gave her my # as
well. She called the same day and we've been seeing each other ever since.
But l do have a question in one of your news letters you said "women
perceive good-looking guys who act cocky as MAJOR PLAYER, and too much
cocky too soon can back fire on you". Further you said that "If you are a
pretty good looking , you might turn down the cocky and turn up funny".
Well l'm good looking oh yes; but l know it's not everything but it helps and
true to your above statement sometimes when I'm cocky it back fires on me
even when the girl (or should l say especially) makes the first move. I know
you've got the answer so please give it some of your time and reply please.
Maximum respect to you David.
JS London

>>>MY COMMENTS:
 Well, here's the deal...
There are exceptions to every rule, and you may have found one of them.
If you're a regular guy and you're dealing with an attractive woman,
then Cocky and Funny is generally a great technique.
If you're a VERY attractive guy, then being too Cocky and Funny can
intimidate women and/or make them think that you must be a big
player.
NOW, if you're an attractive guy and you're dealing with a VERY
attractive woman who is also POWERFUL (owns a company, for
instance) then you'll probably want to turn the Cocky and Funny
back up to provide MAXIMUM CHALLENGE to her.
The SUPER HOTTIES are used to ALL guys rolling over for them, and
you can turn up the heat if you think she needs it in this situation.
 77

***QUESTION***
Hey Dave, I've written at least 1 million emails to you! And i haven't heard
anything back! Nah it's cool i know you have another million emails that start
off the same way. So here’s the question! How do I get women’s phone
numbers for the possibility of sex, like they know if I ring its for sex kinda
thing. I don't want to do the whole date thing, it’s boring and conversation is
stupid! I just wanna ring them up and say it like this, "hey i'm really horny
and i was wondering, do you wanna come over for some 'action' and then
piss off so I can get some peace and quite?" I don’t really want them to hang
around, it's kinda awkward. I’m not an a**hole but that’s what i think is on
most other guys minds as well as mine. Is there anyway to put this to a
woman without them feeling hurt or as if there being used?
Thanks R. Australia.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Look, if I had the answer to this one I'D BE RICHER THAN BILL GATES AND
WARREN BUFFETT PUT TOGETHER.
   Now, will you do me a favor and please get a life?
   And stop emailing to ask how you can get women to come over for sex
because you're horny, then piss off so you can get some peace and quiet
without them feeing hurt or used...
   "Huh huh... Hey Beavith... I'm horny. We need a chick."

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I've been following your instructions to the letter and I have to say it works
like a charm! I have one problem though. I never know when a woman is
attracted to me or not. I can't seem to be able to pick up the signs. I mean I
know lasses are attracted to me only when their friends tell me or they do. It
can be REALLY annoying not knowing whether to progress onwards or not.
I mean, at the moment there's this lass who's really religious and I want to
get with her & I've been working overtime on the teasing and the
 78

cocky/funny routine. I just can't tell where I stand with her. I was just
wondering if you had any pointers that could help me? Thanks,
N. Bradley, England

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Yes, it's very simple. I call it "The Kiss Test".
   You can see it on the second page of my main web site, or read about it in
my book.
   You need to TAKE THINGS TO THE NEXT LEVEL PHYSICALLY.
   This will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know INSTANTLY.
   And by the way, if a woman will agree to spend time alone with you, and
she seems to be having a good time, then she's probably interested at SOME
level.
   If you're using the materials and being Cocky and Funny etc. and she's
hitting you, laughing, etc. that's also a VERY good sign.
   But use The Kiss Test. It's so simple and easy... and it works SO well.

***QUESTION***
Well Dave,
   It never ceases to amaze me how brilliant you are. I saw that you put my
e-mail in the newsletter, so I guess I owe you the dirt. My experience can be
summed up in one word... INF***INGCREDIBLE, but I won't stop with one
word. See if you can keep count? The first chick I met sat next to me on the
plane. CF. She crammed her tongue down my throat. I got off the plane with
a different chick. CF. SHE asked Me to lunch with her. On the shuttle to the
Hotel, yet another female. C&F. I'll come back to her. Poolside, another
young lady. C&F. She asked me to save a dance at the party for her.
He-he-he...
I could keep going but I don't want to jinx my future success. To sum it up, I
talked to over 20 different women, made out with 3, and woke up next to 1
(I'm such a bad man). I got 4 out of 4 e-mails/#s from girls I asked (the
only girls that we're worthy of myself) {example of C&F and my character},
 79

and that girl from the shuttle... I only talked to her for 3 minutes on that
ride, and she had a friend come and give me a note with her info. The trip
ended with a h-job on the plane ride home. Now I don't encourage everyone
out here to use the info in DYD to become a male slut like me. I am this way
because this is the first time I have been single since I was 18 (6 years
ago). This is also the first time that I have really experienced success...
Thanks to DYD and C&F. I used to be a MAJOR WUSS. I never talked to or
went out with a girl unless she talked to me/asked me out. Needless to say I
was home a lot. I never learned the SKILLS to be successful with women
until I bought Double-Your-Dating (plug). Since I read the book three
months ago, I have literally hooked up with over a dozen women,
with very minimal effort. If you are reading this it is OBVIOUS that you want
to improve your life, just like I did when I stumbled upon David's website. Do
yourself a favor, BUY THE DAMN BOOK! Hell, if you don't achieve success
with it, I will buy it back from you. I've got some buddies out there who can
use this treasure. Stop being a WUSS (like I was). Dave I owe it all to you.
From everyman getting laid because of your advice...
THANK YOU!!!!!!! G. from L.A. P.S. My first born is going to be named David,
even if its a girl!!!

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   What else can I say?
   I love getting letters like this one... NICE!
   If you're reading this right now, and you'd like to get an ADVANCED
education in this technique that I call "Cocky & Funny", then you MUST go
and check out my "Cocky Comedy" CD/DVD program.
   Inside I'm going to show you the "secret psychology" of humor... of
laughter... and of how to combine humor with TENSION to create a powerful
ATTRACTION... using nothing more than your communication skills.
   The technique of Cocky & Funny is one of the very fastest, easiest ways to
create sexual tension with women... and this program is going to teach you
how to do it.
 80

   ...and if you're reading this right now and thinking "You know, I really
need to get in this game and start making something happen for myself with
women and dating" then I have to say... YOU'RE RIGHT!
   Learning how to be successful with women and dating is NOT magic.
   It doesn't require good looks or money.
   And it CERTAINLY doesn't require you to chase after women, buy them
things, and give them fake compliments.
   If you'd like to get an in-depth education in all aspects of success with
women... from overcoming fear and shyness... to improving your self
image... to approaching women... to meeting women online... to taking
things to a "physical level" smoothly and without rejection... then you MUST
go and check out my Advanced Dating Techniques DVD/CD program.

Your First Phone Call To Her

***QUESTION***
ok here is the deal...
I'm 23, 5'7" and a relatively good looking and successful fashion designer. i
don't date to much, and because of my usually respectful mannerism I don't
get laid too often and usually end up in that "gay friend" category.
but I've kinda got my eye on a cutie who works at a trendy clothing store in
my hood. it initially was one of those things where we shared a glace and did
the whole "eye ball sex" thing the first time i came into the shop. i frequent
this store regularly to help promote and do some p.r. for a club night my
friends are doing, (not to mention check out the... uh... merchandise?) so i
have actually spoke to her and got her name and even convinced her to
come out to the club a few times (on my guest list of course).
the thing is I'm not very comfortable about "macking" girls in clubs and try
to avoid it at all costs, so my question is how do i go from cheezy promoter
guy dropping off flyers and free passes, to say... getting her to come watch
"videos" at my place or even just a phone # for that matter?
giving me a way to find out if she is single would be cool too..."
 81

>>>MY COMMENTS:
I've included your letter for a couple of reasons. First, because I want other
guys to see that just because you're a young, successful guy that works in
two fields which should naturally lead you to be a BABE MAGNET, it always
takes more than just a situation... it takes skills and knowledge as well.
And secondly, I want to answer your question because I believe that there
are many guys out there who come into contact with lots of women and
would like to know how to capitalize on their good fortune.
Here's what to do:
The easiest thing in the world to do in your current situation is to
say, "Hey, do you have email?"
Most people do and if she says yes, just pull out a piece of paper and
have her write it down. And, WHILE SHE'S WRITING say, "And write
your number down there too." This is one of my favorite one-two
combinations.
Then, the next day, send her an email and tell her that she should
get together with you for a cup of tea and some stimulating
conversation. This is both easy and charming, and it works like,
well... a charm.
And for heaven's sake man, start getting the email and digits from the -
probably - MILLIONS OF BABES that you meet in the fashion industry and
while promoting clubs. Heck, if you don't want them, send them to me.

***SUCCESS STORY***
I'm sure you'll find this interesting Dave. There's a girl I liked a while back.
Her and I dated for a few weeks, and then she started backing out. Less
communication, avoiding the "alone time" etc. Well, that confused the hell
out of me because I didn't see it coming, nor did I know what was going on
in her head. I did get frustrated, but I dealt with it, and moved on. But
before I moved on, I told her very friendly, "I know you don't want to
continue dating, but you know that we're still friends... " So we had a nice
talk and stuck to friendship. Still wondering why it broke off between us, I
 82

came across your book. After I read it, I became "enlightened" as to what
happened. Let's just say I read about the "needy" guy, and cringed. I came
on too strong to her. It's like putting on a lot of cologne... no matter how
good the smell is, too much stinks. Well, after being "enlightened," I decided
to try a few of your concepts on her. I will honestly tell you that she's all
over me now. (all over). Anyways, I'm known for never finishing books, but
yours I've read about 3 times now. Waiting for a new publication..."
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Ah, yes. Isn't it wonderful when you realize how the psychology works?

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave!
I enjoy reading your writing.
I dated a lot and fooled around quite a few, but I have fallen for this girl, and
I made a mistake by telling her, not once but twice, how much I feel for and
want her before she revealed her feeling toward me. Consequently she told
me later on that she would like to do casual dating with me. And recently I
found out that she is seeing two or three other guys simultaneously. GUYS
OUT THERE, REMEMBER THIS. NEVER REPEAT MY MISTAKE!!!!
Having recognized my error and conceded defeat, I want to cut my loss by
telling her this weekend in a face to face meeting that I don't want to see her
any longer. But I can't forget her and keep wondering if I should make one
more effort to win her back. I guess I am a regular human being, suffering
from loss of her love.
Should I change my mind, what techniques can I use to win her back?
Or I should simply walk away from her and forget everything about her?
Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Well, I'm glad that you've realized your mistake...
 83

Too often, we men find a particularly interesting woman and then come to
the logical conclusion that we should probably share how we're feeling about
her... with her.
Unfortunately, while we think we're saying, "I really like you and think you're
a special girl", what she's actually hearing is, "I am a wuss, I feel like you're
too good for me, I'll do whatever you want, I'm no longer a challenge, and
you can predict how I'm going to act from now until you decide that you're
tired of me..."
I know, sounds harsh. But, this is too often the reality of the situation.
As far as your situation goes, I would get on with my life, don't call her
anymore and if she decides to call you sometime, turn the tables around,
start playing hard to get and NEVER ACT LIKE A WUSS AGAIN PLEASE.
It's a hard job I have, poking fun at the pain of others... all for their own
good.

***INTERESTING EMAIL FROM A WOMAN***

This is a success story. Your success, not mine. And I need your help. I really
doubt that anybody else can help me. This is the story. I am a woman.
I am absolutely agreed with every word you say about dating, phone number
and email, cocky/funny attitude, phone calls, and kiss. Everything you say is
right. Beside this talent you have very unique quality: you can see the
persons problem from few sentences. Now I need you to tell me what is my
problem. I am immigrant from Russia living in Canada. I am at my latest 20
and I'm quite attractive and I want to have a boyfriend. I am not the person
who settles for less. I have no problem to get a date. I have a problem to
get the second one with the guy I like. I know all mind games including "I'm
so Hard To Get and Busy" and "Oh I'm so helpless". To meet a guy is not a
problem, but, very few of my dates are cocky & funny guys. And that is what
I like. Now tell me: what do you cocky-funny guys look for? What makes you
call back second, third and twenty-third time. I am not asking for an answer
like: wash your hair, offer to split the bill and be adventurous, I know all this
from Cosmo. There is something bigger then this, something that North
 84

American girls learn at their very yang age and it is so simple so nobody
talks about it. Tell me what is it that attracts cocky-funny guys. I really need
to know.

Thanks.
L.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm glad you wrote in because you bring up a point that most men never
realize, namely, that it's not easy for most women to find the kind of man
that they feel ATTRACTED to!
Yes, there are a lot of good looking men in this world, but women are looking
for a lot more than just looks.
Women are looking for that magical combination of confidence,
humor, an understanding of how women work, class, etc.
One of the great benefits of mastering the ideas that I teach is that you can
fill a need that is very real in the world: The need for real, attractive men.
As for your particular situation, my only idea is to stop by my place
sometime for a personal consultation. I specialize in beautiful, young Russian
women who are looking for cocky & funny guys. There is no charge for your
initial consultation...

***QUESTION***
Dave "THE MAN",
I just want to first thank you or rather compliment you, just like everyone
else has done, on your successful book which has helped me tremendously.
It has led me to become VERY VERY confident in myself and around other
girls. Once again, thank you Dave. Anyway, on to my question that literally
drives me crazy!!! This girl that I'm interested in has email but NEVER
checks it because, according to what she says her computer doesn't work.
Go figure. But she did give me her cell phone number and house phone
number. The problem is that every time I call her we talk for about 10-15
min. and she says that she'll call me back later but NEVER does. i mean
 85

NEVER!! is this because she is playing hard to get or does it mean that i am
just wasting my time and she is not interested and should i just give up on
her completely? how can i become the one who's in control and have HER
chasing ME instead of ME chasing HER??? How could i get her to start calling
me? If you can answer this question then it will be one less thing for me to
worry about when dealing with women and I will definitely consider you "THE
MAN". Thanks
-R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Where in my eBook or newsletters have you EVER heard me say to talk on
the phone for 10-15 minutes? Exactly, nowhere. Why do you think this is?
Because the more time you spend TALKING at the very beginning (when
getting her email and number, while on the phone setting up the next
meeting, etc.) the more likely you are to screw it up.
Don't waste time!
Getting her email and digits should take 3-5 minutes or so. Setting up a
place to get together should take about the same.
Here, I'll do another of my wonderful translations for you:
You call up and say, "Hi, it's Irwin from last night calling... how are you?
What are you doing? Oh, doing your hair, really? Cool. So, that was some
band last night, huh? Pretty crowded bar, huh? Oh, sure... you need to go?
Well, will you call me back later? OK, great, talk to you then."
What she hears: "Hi, I'm lame and uncreative and I am interested in you,
but I'm nervous and don't know how to ask you out so, I think I'll just talk
about some lame, boring, mundane things... and hope that maybe you'll
have pity on me and offer to meet me sometime."
Are you with me?
You need to call up and say, "Hey, I don't have long to talk, but I wanted to
touch base and say "Hi". I'm going to be busy today and tomorrow night, but
let's get together Saturday for a cup of tea and some stimulating
conversation..."
Bang, done.
 86

If you really want to use the advanced tactics, read my book and learn about
how to use the "friendship frame" to disarm her at the end of the
conversation.
Now, no more calling up these poor cute women, boring them for 15 minutes
until they say, "Hey, I have to go, but I'll call you back later..."

***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I've been reading your emails for quite some time and recently just bought
your e-books. I commend you on what you are doing for the many hundreds
and possibly thousands of men like me who are trying to increase our game.
I just started a new job at a hotel on campus. There's this one girl who find
very attractive. My question is… is it ok to date or ask out someone you work
with? I've only worked with her once, but I felt an attraction to her and
although I'm not sure if she's attracted, there may be the possibility of it,
which means there is something for me to work with. What are your
thoughts? Thanks S.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Don't date your close neighbors, don't date anyone related to a close friend,
and DON'T DIP YOUR PEN IN THE COMPANY INK. All of these are VERY likely
to wind up being bad, long-term investments.
Better idea: Tease and use all of your best cocky & funny ideas on this girl...
great target practice. At some point, one of you will probably no longer work
for the same company and at that point she will like you so much that you
will have fish in a barrel for the shooting.

***QUESTION***
Hi David,
...I found...NLP related seduction stuff about a year ago and spent some
money on seduction courses related to NLP, however I must say I haven't
had astonishing results with it.
 87

When I ordered your book I was still studying some NLP based seduction
course so I did not read the book until recently and how mistaken I was!
After reading the book I realized I should have read it a long time ago
because I noticed drastic improvements in the way I communicate and
attract women now, far more drastic than all the time I've spent studying
NLP related seduction material... Which leads to my questions to you.
I read...that you had done a lot of NLP training yourself. I'm 32 yrs old now
and at the point where I need to focus on one route that leads to my goal of
becoming PUA. I know some people would say take bits of this, and bits of
that and find out what works for you, however I want your personal opinion
on this one. Do you use any NLP at all when attempting to create attraction
in a woman, is NLP necessary in seduction? What about things like eliciting
values and anchoring them to you, is this required in creating attraction a
woman? What would you tell a newbie who had to choice of learning NLP in
terms of getting good with seducing women, would you tell them to bother
with it?
I'm now thinking of completely focusing my energy on perfecting the 'Cocky
and Funny' approach and not wasting anymore time on things that are not
necessary for me to become good in this game. I need your advice on this
one... Thanks for the good work, I'm looking forward to you writing update
books to this whole game.
G.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
For those of you that don't know, "NLP" stands for "Neuro Linguistic
Programming". And, there's a lot of buzz about how this can help you in all
areas of life. From psychological issues – to earning money - to meeting
more women.
Yes, I have spent a lot of time learning about NLP, and I've tried a lot of NLP
ideas when it comes to meeting women.
The simplest answer I can give you is this:
The best use of NLP is to find guys who are very successful with women and
then use it to LEARN WHAT THOSE GUYS DO NATURALLY. The mistake I
 88

think that a lot of people make is taking the parts of NLP that relate to
therapy, influence, and persuasion, and trying to apply those models to
women and dating.
Believe me, I've tried this stuff EXTENSIVELY, and I've come to the
conclusion that there is a MUCH better way.
My success took off when I started watching what the really successful guys
did when they were with women, then refining the ideas and looking for the
common elements.
For instance, the "cocky & funny" idea comes directly from a good friend of
mine who is very good at attracting women. Once I learned it from him, I
began to notice that almost ALL of the guys I know, who attract a lot of
women, use it.
I don't think you have to reinvent the wheel. Just do what works... and if
what you're doing is working, then keep it up.

***COMMENT***
yo David!
this is the greatest stuff i have ever seen. Its soooooo easy and yet, until it
dawns on you, it seems frustrating. all you nice guys know what I'm talking
about...no sex? girls don't call back? LISTEN to DAVID!! its the simplest
formula in the world. here it is again for the millionth time...
COCKY+FUNNY= WOMEN!!!NUMBERS!!!!!ATTRACTION!!!!FUN!!! SEX!!!
forget all that gadget crap, mind "tricks" and palmistry (don't get me wrong,
each CAN be effective...) it makes absolutely NO DIFFERENCE what you do,
its the cocky, funny way you do it! be confident! go up to some girls and say
sup girls, ask their names, then look at the hottest one and say ARE YOU
TRYING TO PICK ME UP???!!!! hahaha and just keep teasing, making the
frame that she wants you, and BE SURE TO TELL HER YOU KNOW SHE
WANTS YOU!!!! trust me on this, when you see her face light up with a
smile, it will be time, young grasshopper, to become a real LADIES MAN!!!
peace, may the CF be with you...
N.
 89

>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, you'd make a great walking billboard for my... well...
The problem is that you sound like a late night infomercial and I don't think
anyone would believe you...
But seriously, you are right.
It would never cross the minds of most guys to look at a stunning woman
and say, "Are you trying to pick me up?"
If I'm at a bar talking to a woman, and she gives me any kind of
compliment, hints that she likes me, tells me that I'm funny, etc., I'll say,
"Look, I know how you women are. First a little compliment, then you're
asking me for my number, then you want me to come home with you to
"check out your new stereo" or something. I just want you to know that I'm
not that kind of guy, and I won't fall for it."

Oh, I love it.

***QUESTION***
David,
You are a wise man.
I feel the truth in your words.
I want to implement the techniques that you speak of, I do, I REALLY do. But
it seems that when I come in contact with women that I think are attractive,
I can't, or more precisely, I don't. I think I'm afraid of rejection.
If I ask a woman for her number within three minutes, I just can't see her
giving it to me.
And if she did, I wouldn't know when to call her (I'm thinking of the 2 day
rule from "Swingers") or if I should call her at all and just keep retreating (a
la "Tao of Steve") Do you subscribe to the theories presented in these films
and do you teach a class?
If yes where do I sign up?
D.
 90

>>>MY COMMENTS:
I understand where you're coming from...
I would NEVER have believed that a woman would give out her number to a
complete stranger in 2 or 3 minutes...
Until I watched some guys actually do it.
As soon as I saw it happen, it completely changed my idea of what is
possible. You just need to get out there and take action. Next time you're
talking to a woman, just say:
"Hey, nice talking to you, but I have to get back to my friends (or what I was
doing, etc.)."
Then, just as you're turning away, say:
"Hey... Do you have email?"
When she says "Yes", just take out a pen and paper and give it to her,
expecting her to write it down. When she does, say, "Nice meeting you, I'll
chat with you again when I have some more time..." and walk away.
Once you're comfortable doing that, start having them write their number
down as well. It's really not that difficult.
As far as how long to wait to call, etc? Just don't email or call the same day!
Email the next day, and use what you've learned to take things to the next
level.

***QUESTION***
Dave,
I haven't had success like this with women in my life. You sure know your
stuff. I've read your book about 10 times and I'm still reading it. But I do
have one question though. I have a major downfall when it comes to
communication with women. I do good at approaching them and I usually
say "Hey, how's it goin'?", but I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT.
That's my downfall. If I can keep a conversation going that could the best.
But I'm lacking skills in that part, and like you said, your success all comes
down to your skills. Well Dave, I need a new skill. Can you please help me.
Any feedback will be much appreciated.
 91

~J.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're going to love this answer.
Don't "talk" about anything at all. Tease, make fun, act cocky & funny, and
get the email/digits.
The idea that you have to "talk about something" will lead you to a curious
dry feeling between your legs...

***QUESTION***
Dear David...
I'm a 37-year-old guy, not bad looking, dress pretty well, nothing in the way
of great detractors in my habits that I can tell.
Growing up in a liberal town of liberal-minded, feminist parents, where most
conversations were matter-of-fact and direct, very little teasing occurred,
etc. it's been hard trying to lose my matter- of-fact approach to talking to
women and gain this bad-boy-ish attitude you talk about in your book. It is
the complete antithesis to much of who I see myself as. That said, I still
want to give it a try, since being a natural Sensitive Guy (although not a
pushover) hasn't given me the huge success I'd like.
My problem comes from my age. Most of the women from 28 up that I meet
all want to get married pretty soon, and seem to assess me as husband
material rather than sexy- man material. My friends say "Well, why don't you
just date younger women?"
As if it were that easy!
I want to approach tons of women (despite the fear I feel at each approach if
it doesn't already feel like a natural opportunity to me). I have a strong
sense, though, that a 37-year-old guy approaching a 23-year-old girl (or
anyone under 28, say) would be looked on with suspicion by the girl,
especially since I'm nobody famous or rich or whatever. It's like it's already a
giant stroke against me, adding to the already huge on I feel I have being
this naturally considerate, even- handed, egalitarian sort of guy.
 92

I couldn't find it in your book, but have you honestly seen guys my age do
just as well with the younger girls as guys in their 20s? I'd find that hard to
believe; you always hear younger girls talking about "creepy older guys"
(even if those guys aren't noticeably creepy -- the mere fact that they're
approaching the younger girls seems to freak them out). What do you think
about this?
-B.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, you're not alone. I know that there are a lot of other men out
there who are thinking, "I'm a nice, stable, intelligent guy... and I should be
able to attract women."
You must realize that women don't really care if you're a nice guy. "Nice"
doesn't light up their emotions and make them feel A GUT LEVEL
ATTRACTION.
What DOES make them feel it? You guessed it... teasing, humor,
unpredictable behavior and that magical combination of being Cocky &
Funny.
I heard a great theory once: Too many of us guys were raised by our
MOTHERS, and not our fathers. Or, we were raised in a household where our
mothers dominated our fathers. In either case, we learned how to please a
MOTHER, not how to attract a LOVER.
Do yourself a favor, and think for a moment about what it would be like to
be an attractive woman in your mid 20s who is approached all the time by
"nice" guys that want to take you out and bore you with conversation about
the news and weather. Now ask yourself: "What kind of guy would instantly
get my attention and cause me to feel an attraction to him?"
Women like the kind of personality that I prescribe.
They like it the same way as we guys like firm, young bodies and beautiful
faces. Think about it.
   ...and that about wraps it up.
 93

If you want to learn the secrets that have taken me YEARS to figure out,
then I would highly recommend that you go and download a copy of my
online eBook, "Double Your Dating." My book isn't an imaginary work of
fiction that I dreamed up for entertainment purposes.
It's the result of studying what successful guys do to attract women, then
personally testing out and refining what I learned until I felt like I could
explain it in a way that other guys could understand. I also include three
booklets with it that describe the different steps from getting emails, all the
way to getting physical, the personality types of the men that are most
attractive to women, and how to turn a woman on in ways she's never
experienced.

Meeting Women Online, Getting Them To Call YOU

***QUESTION***
Dave,
Let me start by telling you, you 'da man! I really got to hand it to you, your
stuff has given me confidence I've never had before, and I'm just trying to
absorb as much of it into my head as possible. I really want to thank you for
being able to share this stuff with guys like me and not keeping it to
yourself.
There's just one thing wrong with your material: its way TOO CHEAP!!!
Seriously Dave, I think WE'RE ripping YOU off! Thanks to you, I started to
apply the Cocky and Funny in chatting rooms and in the real world and it is a
hell of a lot better than the Mr. Nice guy act. However, I use emails and chat
to practice my Cocky and Funny and it is improving. For example, I have one
trick I use and it works on a girl whether she's younger, older, or the same
age as me.
I asked one girl her age, and she turned out to be as old as me, 21. I then
replied by telling her "ahh forget it, you’re too young for me" I assume
that this girl wasn't used to a rejection like this and she was intent on
knowing how old I was. I told her that I was also 21, and she reacted like
most girls do at this part, by laughing and turning into a stuck up and asking
 94

me how she could possibly be too young for me. I then respond saying
something like "I guess your right, its not your age, you just wouldn't
be able to handle me," then she reacts like most girls do at this point,
continuing to be even more stuck up and laugh sarcastically, while I tell her
that Ill give her a chance because she wants it so much, and she has 2
minutes to convince me she can handle me. Now this is a great conversation
starter, and while she argues the fact that she can handle me, I occasionally
send her teasing comments like, "honey, your wasting my time" or "Why
are u not entertaining me" or "ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz". I kind of understood
how being Cocky works, and if the girl really meant the insults she said to
me at first, she still wouldn't be talking to me, right? After doing this to one
particular girl, who turned out to be hot as hell from a pic she sent me, she
completely forgot about being stuck up and told me "ok, I’m sorry, lets
start over" this is when I realized I had her in my grasp and I continued
being Cocky but turned it down a notch, was this the right thing to do?
Around the end I asked her for her email and she replied by telling me she
canceled it yesterday, a terrible excuse. I persisted and said "yeah sure, just
type it down, it'll be ok." she stuck to her story and I gave up and gave her
my email which she "supposedly" wrote down. Now I know I probably
shouldn't of backed down on her email, but I thought the conversation was
going so great she would actually want me to have her email. Is there
something I did wrong for her to refuse giving it to me, and what other ways
could I make a girl give me her phone # and/or email? Also, you stress how
you should never answer a girls question directly, to leave her unsure. This
happens to be my weakness and I would appreciate a few tips on this too.
Thanks for everything Dave, your reply would
really mean a lot. W.C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Great story... and great job.
One thing you have to remember about chat rooms and online IM sessions is
that they're great PRACTICE.
 95

Now, I've met some UNBELIEVABLE women on the internet... so don't get
me wrong here.
But don't worry too much about any particular girl... or any particular
situation.
She could have had a boyfriend, or even a husband... and was just online
because she was bored... or any of 100 other scenarios.
When something like this happens, just move on.
The point is that you're using the Internet for a GREAT "practice
environment", and you're training your mind to be Cocky & Funny in
the moment... which begins to translate into the REAL world as you
do it.
To answer your question about how to get a girl to give you her email
address and/or number, just do more of what you're already doing...
Keep throwing down the challenges...
Write back and say, "Yeah, you're probably not that adventurous".
She'll say, "Yes I am!"
Then say, "Well, if you were then you would have asked me for my
number and called me already. But you're not. So you didn't...."
Keep this up until she asks for YOUR number.
Then, as soon as you hit the "send" button, IM her again quickly to say,
"I don't hear my phone ringing! Hurry up!"
You'll love the results you get from this kind of thing.
But be careful. And get LOTS of CURRENT pictures. Take it from someone
who knows... lol... don't just take her word for it.

***QUESTION***
Hey Dave man!!!!
I'm taking your advice and not being an ass kisser, so I won't say how much
your book rules (even though it does). I'm seeing 2 girls and potentially 3,
but I have some questions. First off, any advice when dealing with a really
shy woman? It's tough to do some of the things like the kiss test when
they're timid (but oh so cute). Second, the potential one I'm kind of
 96

interested in, but definitely not long-term, and I think she knows that, but
I'd like to get to know her and have a little fun...any words of wisdom? Third,
this may be covered in the book and I haven't gotten to that chapter yet, but
any style advice when it comes to clothing? I'm clueless there. Thanks in
advance dude!

>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'll answer them in reverse.
Yes, style advice is in the book. Turn to pages 33 and 34.
To contestant number 2, just keep on doing what you're doing. Women
usually know what's going on, and she'll start making relationship
noises if she really wants one. Until then, keep doing what's working.
And about the oh-so-cute shy girls: I know, I know... but you must
remember that if you're the one that brings the shy girl out of her shell,
she's probably going to want to marry you... and if she's not very
experienced with guys, you might mess with her head too much. Do the right
thing.

***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I was just wondering if you think it's a good idea to call a woman before a
date to confirm or should I just show up at her doorstep and hope she is
there? A while ago I had a date with a woman and I didn't call before I left to
pick her up then when I got to her house she wasn't there. Do you call
before the date to confirm?
Z. >From Florida.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, it's been so many years since I've gone out to a woman's house
and picked her up for a first date, I can't even remember.
I recommend that you DO NOT do something expensive and typical like
going and picking a woman up, taking her to dinner, etc. for a first date.
 97

Instead, either:
1) Have her come to your place, and leave for a cup of tea from there.
2) Meet her at a coffee shop that's CLOSE to your place, and if she flakes
out, you can still enjoy yourself and you're not far from home.

Another rule of thumb I have is to not make a date too far in advance.
I've found that often times, you can call a woman up and say, "Let's go get
a cup of coffee RIGHT NOW".
It's rare that I would ever make plans more than a day in advance... this
also helps prevent flaking.

***QUESTION***
Hi David,
You DVD program has made me get up from the sofa and do something
about my love life. No real success yet but I can now see beyond my fears
and actually approach women.
As you recommended I started using the Internet as A 'women simulator',
it's great and I think I'm doing fine with the cocky and funny stuff. For
example, I call my self "too witty for you" and in my description I write
"don't please don't... well OK - are you cute?" and it works :-) Sadly, I can't
give example from the chats since they are in Hebrew but you know... it's
even funnier in Hebrew.
My question is simple: you said to move quickly from the chat to the
phone. Well, do you have a "3 minute phone technique" adopted for the
chats? (the problem is that I can't say something like "I going back to my
friends" like I do in a bar).
Thanks,
U.W. from Israel.
 98

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice!
Maybe you can work with me soon on the "Ultimate Comprehensive Guide To
Cocky & Funny Online Chat In Hebrew".
I answered this question above, but loved your email so I had to include it.
When you're online, you have to REALLY go the extra mile and
EXXXXXAGGGGERATE everything.
You can't just say "You seem cool, let's talk sometime".
You have to say "You're a pain. I'll bet you can't keep this up live on a
telephone. You're probably too much of a scaredy-cat to even TRY it..."
Work it. Try things. You'll find that these kinds of challenges work VERY well
online.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi Dave,
I've been reading your newsletter for a long time now, have bought the e-
book, the CD series and DVD series, and the stuff just keeps getting better
and better. I've turned several of the guys here in the office onto your
material and they all profess to be "totally changed" or "a new man" or
otherwise similarly positively transformed.
Anyway, after reading some of the stories in your latest newsletter, I
thought about one technique that I've been using lately, to great effect.
It started about 5 months ago when I was at the dentist. Basically, I have
this gap between my front teeth that I had never given much thought to.
Well, the hygienist girl, who is totally cute, asked me if I ever considered
"getting it fixed". I said "no. It's part of my charm. It makes me more
attractive. I know you agree." She totally blushed, and was super nice to
me the rest of the time. Well, I left, didn't want her digits, so I didn't ask.
But I thought I'd try something like this out later to see if it would work.
Jump forward a couple of days to a local art fair... by the way, these are
good places to meet attractive, intelligent 30-something women... they are
also awesome places to bring dates (and mostly cap on the artwork). The
 99

plan worked like this... I picked out the most attractive, single-looking
woman in the room, went up to her and capped on the sculpture she was
looking at, then quickly turned the conversation around to her, eventually
saying "I love your hair, but I don't usually date smokers". She said "what do
you mean? I don't smoke." I answered, in a cocky and funny way, by saying
that I was sure she did, from the way her teeth looked. Oh yeah, this went
against the "conventional wisdom" that says it's okay to insult a
woman's accessories, but not her natural attributes... anyway, she got
embarrassed, and tried to cap on me about my teeth, something like "who
are you to talk, your teeth aren't perfect." Which was the perfect set up for
"Yeah, but that's part of my charm, it makes me more attractive. I
know you agree." She rolled her eyes said "Oh brother" or similar... but, two
minutes later, I was walking away with her e-mail. I've used variations on
this theme about a dozen times over the past few months. I think it's
absolutely ridiculous, but it works great. I told one buddy, who has great
teeth but a substantial gut about it, and he used it successfully... capping on
the girl's tummy. I laugh when I think about this technique, but hey, it
seems to work brilliantly.
Cheers,
P in Raleigh
>>>MY COMMENTS:
  
This is FANTASTIC stuff.
I have a friend who is approaching 50 in age, and who's not exactly
"dashingly handsome". He's not ugly, etc., but it's obvious that he's not a
male super-model either.
One of the things he loves to do is tell women that they're probably not used
to getting attention from unusually good-looking guys like himself... and they
eat it up.
Imagine this:
 100

An average guy who's almost 50 years old walking up to a beautiful woman

in her 20s, and then telling HER that she's probably not used to getting this
kind of attention from attractive guys like himself. It's fantastic.
In marketing, there's a concept called "brag about your weakness". When
you openly talk and joke about something like this, and even talk about it as
if it were a huge strength, people love it.
Remember the old Avis slogan "Avis is only #2, so we try harder"?
Your email was great... this is good stuff.

***QUESTION***
I take the train downtown and then walk 10 minutes or so from the station
to my work. I see LOTS of girls along the way, either waiting for the train on
the platform, or walking on the sidewalks. What approaches would be good
in this situation?
One drawback seems to be that people are always in groups, and no one is
ever talking to each other. If I approach a girl, everyone is gonna hear what
I say. I find that that undermines my confidence!

>>>MY COMMENTS:
As a general rule, if you approach a woman who is with other people and
take an "I'm interested in you, and I could care less what the hell
other people think... I'm not here to please them" kind of attitude,
women find this VERY attractive.
Just be very cool and matter of fact, and treat the others well. Don't try to
please them or pander to them, just smile and say hi... then get on with
getting the email/number of the girl you're interested in. I don't know who
originally said this, but I like it: "What other people think of you is none
of your business."
 101

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I bought your Advanced Series DVD program, and after watching it I now
really know what I need to know to be successful with women. It sounds
silly, but I didn't know what I need to learn until I watched your DVD. I'm
sure there is a lot of people out there in the same situation. I don't know
what could I tell them to convince them they need to buy the program. I
thought I was crazy when I spent the money on your DVD, but hell, what
you say there WORKS, and I really don't know how someone could learn all
that without your DVDs... its almost impossible!!!.
I still have a lot to learn, but I used some of the things you said in the DVD,
like using my body language to say "You don't impress me much" and so
on, and it works, even without me knowing everything about body
language!!!. Girls react to me much better. Sometimes they come to me
without me saying anything, just with the way I looked at them, even
bartenders (that happened last night). Well, what happened last night with
the bartender... Hell, I didn't expect to be successful. I just couldn't believe
that really cute girl came to me, started to talk to me, and even told me
when she ended his work for me to go get her. Finally, I screwed it all up,
because I don't have my self confidence handled the way I should yet. But
its improving, and I know exactly what went wrong. I can’t believe how
different is the feeling of knowing "this didn't work for this reason, and I can
handle it with some more work". Before your program, I would just have
said "Oops, I screwed it up again, and I will next time". And what is better,
all this is the outcome of just 2 weeks of using your program. I just can't
imagine where I will be in 6 months :)
Now, the question: I have bought some of the books you recommended
about self-confidence (from amazon.com, hope they arrive soon). Now I'm
looking for some books about body language, but I cant see any in the
workbook of the advanced DVD program...
A, from Spain
>>>MY COMMENTS:
 102

As far as I'm concerned, there aren't any REALLY good books on body
language as it relates to ATTRACTION.
Hell, there aren't any good books on ATTRACTION either.
Go figure.
Do this:
1) Watch James Bond movies.
2) Watch all the guys I interview in my Advanced DVD Series.
You'll learn more from WATCHING those guys live than from reading any
book.
You must remember, the five guys that I interview live are all there for a
VERY GOOD reason... they're all great with women.
You may not have thought of this, but you really have an amazing chance to
actually see how they hold themselves, how they talk, how they gesture, etc.
Watch again.

***QUESTION***
dear dating guro,
I have newn this chick for 3 months and every time i ask her out she says
she dosn't know me well enough. do u have any sure fire ways to get her.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   I have no "sure fire" ways, but I have a couple of ideas:
1) Learn how to spell "known" and "guru".
2) Get my eBook and Advanced Dating Techniques Program.
   Sounds like you need a little more help than I can give you in a paragraph.

***COMMENT***
David,
I started getting your email about 5 months ago and bought your book about
3 months ago. All I have to say is your a genius I now feel more confident
with myself toward woman. Although I am still mastering your techniques it
takes time but it is starting to pay off. and by the way the one thing i noticed
is that i got a tattoo recently and this creates mystery to the woman. this is
 103

an excellent conversation starter because they always ask questions about it.
just telling you to keep up the good work .
Sincerely K.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
There are certain things that make it more likely that a woman will strike up
a conversation with you...
1) Tattoos
2) Interesting piercing
3) Outrageous clothing
4) Magic tricks
5) Art or music
6) Your dog
7) Beating your dog
Now, I'd personally stick with numbers 4-6, and I might even take a few
minutes and come up with some more that fit my style, if I had a mind to...
(Hint, hint).
The point is that THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS THAT WILL GET A WOMAN'S
ATTENTION AND GET HER TO START THE CONVERSATION WITH YOU. Can
you think of any? Hmmm...

***QUESTION***
Your ebook is great. I went on a second date the other day and I used the "is
she ready for a kiss where you stroke her hair first" technique and it worked
like a charm. She actually kissed me. I may have skipped over this part of
the book on accident but anyways, is there a way to know if a woman has a
boyfriend or not? Thanks.
D.B. Tucson, AZ

>>>MY COMMENTS:
 Great job!
 104

You know, with all the emails, success stories, and questions I get, I still
enjoy the simple ones the most.
When a guy writes in because he just got his first number from a girl, or his
first kiss, those are the ones that make me the most excited.
If you want to know if a girl has a boyfriend, the first thing to notice is
whether or not she's open to flirting with you.
Girls who are "taken" and "happily taken" at that are usually less
flirtatious than women who are "available".
Now, this is a generalization, and there are a lot of exceptions.
But if you ask a woman for her number, and she gives it to you, then goes
out with you, then kisses you, then she's probably single.
If you REALLY want to know, just ask.
I like to look a woman directly in the eye when I'm first talking to her and
say...
"Are you single?"
It's great. Most women don't expect it AT ALL in the beginning, and it says
all the right things.
Most guys say things like "You probably have a boyfriend, huh?".
This is WUSSY TALK. It's the same thing that the last 100 guys have said to
her, and it's lame.
When you look a woman directly in the eye and ask "Are you single?" it
communicates strength.
Then you can go into the 3 minute email/number technique and get her
information.
...and by the way...
If you're reading this right now, and you are in a place where you have ZERO
success with women, then we need to talk.
I think that it's sometimes hard for guys who have had little or no success
with women to even BELIEVE that it's possible to change, turn things
around, and start dating interesting, attractive women.
Hell, it's even hard for guys who have been MARRIED for a few years and
then divorced to believe that they can "get back in the game".
 105

Well, the GOOD NEWS is that I personally believe that ANY guy can learn
how to be successful with women and dating.
It's not magic... even though it seems like magic if you've never had success
with women in your life.
It can be done. But you've got to take the very first step. It won't happen all
by itself.
The first thing you need to do is read these newsletters three times a week.
Next, you need to go download my online eBook. It's totally risk-free. In
fact, you can download it and try it now. If you don't see results, you don't
have to pay for it. Really.

Competition From Other Men - How To Handle It

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

I am recently divorced and found myself having a hard time making
connections with women after being in a 9-year relationship. Before I met
my ex-wife I considered myself as a "player" and had little trouble finding
girls to go out with. After being out of the scene for so long, I had lots of
trouble trying to get back in to the swing of things. Your ebook and emails
have instantly put me back in the game and I am now getting dates with
very attractive women! Its been amazing!!
Thank You!
Now for the question. All these attractive women have brought something
into my dates that I am not used to, Men (Cock Blockers)! Currently, I am
dating this "bomb-shell" occasionally and when we go out on a date, men will
hit on her as soon as they get a chance. If I turn my back for second, some
guy will try to make eye contact or say something to her. I don't blame the
guys because she is very hot, but how do I deal with this in a way that
shows I am 100% confident? Typically, I just laugh and continue to have a
good time by ignoring the lame ass attempts to pick up on my date, but
there has to be a way that I can turn this around to make me look more
confident in her eyes.
 106

You da man,
B from Colorado

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well then... welcome back!
I've noticed that the period after breaking up with a long-term girlfriend or
spouse is often a difficult one.
I think it's easy for men (and women) to become so comfortable and
emotionally dependent in a relationship that they experience a lot of FEAR
when ending that relationship...
"What's going to happen?"
"Will I ever meet another woman?"
"How do I get started?"
...etc.
I can remember breaking up with long-term girlfriends in years past, and
feeling an empty, fearful, LONELY combination of emotions in my gut that
was HORRIBLE.
That ALONE feeling is enough to cause a lot of problems.
Add to that, not knowing where to start, what to do, or how to "get your
game back" if you had it in the past, and you usually get a bad situation.
I've learned that knowing how to go out anytime and meet women has a
couple of MAJOR benefits when it comes to this area:
1) When you know that you can meet women anytime you want, it makes
you stop acting so NEEDY and CLINGY in a relationship. Most needy and
clingy Wuss behaviors are rooted in the FEAR that you'll never be able to find
another woman.
2) When it comes to ENDING a relationship, this skill makes things MUCH
easier. Too many guys stay in relationships that are bad for them, and are
afraid to END a relationship because of that deeply-rooted insecurity that
comes from not knowing how to walk out the door anytime, anywhere and
meet women. When you know how to do this, you won't try to hold on like a
girly-man, sacrifice your own respect and dignity, pleading and begging, and
 107

ultimately make the situation much worse than it would have been if you
would have just walked away.
In short, what I'm trying to say is that I think understanding this area called
"How to attract women" is KEY to having a good relationship.
When you have that inner confidence and KNOWING, it makes you more
attractive... period.
Now let's talk about what to do when there is competition from other guys...
First I want to talk about what I believe is at the ROOT of the problem:
1) INSECURITY.
2) JEALOUSY.

When you are insecure, you're always wondering if some other guy is going
to come along and steal your girl.
This often shows up as a combination of feelings that make you worry about
losing your girl, and at the same time worrying about not being able to find
another one if you DO lose this one.
This is a BAD, BAD thing because it then CLOUDS YOUR THINKING, and
creates an illusion that the woman you're with is BETTER than she is, and
that you're WORSE than you are.
We're talking about some deep issues here, but this is the stuff that triggers
the ULTIMATE WUSS types of behaviors.
Then, as if things weren't bad enough, you go out with your girl, and other
guys start hitting on her right in front of you.
This triggers MORE insecurity, and then the REAL problem... JEALOUSY.
Jealousy is an incredibly powerful emotion.
It often leads people to KILL people they love.
One scientist wrote an entire book about Jealousy, and basically claimed that
it was the most powerful and important emotion ever! (The book is called
"The Dangerous Passion"... referring to jealousy)
When you're out with your girl, you turn around to order a drink, and when
you turn BACK around there's some guy talking to her with that "I'd love to
 108

take you home and do things that the lord forbids", it can trigger a few
emotions...
This is very natural. Animals have this same response in similar situations. I
personally believe that we come pre-wired with BOTH of these things:
- We come pre-wired to want women that other men already have (Don't
covet thy neighbor's wife).
- We come pre-wired to feel jealousy if we suspect that our spouse is
cheating or if we think that someone is going to take them from us.
 
Again, normal and natural stuff.
If Yoda were here, he'd probably say:
"Jealousy is useless...
...Jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to INSECURE WUSSY BEHAVIOR...
and insecure Wussy behavior leads to the DARK SIDE."
Now, jealousy doesn't always lead to insecure WUSSY behavior, sometimes it
leads to insecure DUMB ASS behavior, like getting into a fight, or shooting
someone.
Some men enjoy fights and violence.
And some women have no problem dating a man who likes to beat other
men up (or beat her up).
I personally think that violence and hurting other people is the IGNORANT
way to deal with things.
But, I also know that there are a lot of guys out there that don't share my
views.
The POINT I'm trying to make is that insecurity and jealousy make people do
all kinds of stupid and thoughtless things.
These emotions take over your mind and body, and can trigger some of the
most short-sighted behaviors you'll ever experience.
These are complex emotions that have evolved over millions and millions of
years... and they're not going away anytime soon. In many cases, they
literally take control of your mind and body.
For instance...
 109

Let's say you've just broken up with your girlfriend or wife, and it took you a
long time to finally get a date with an attractive woman. Maybe you were
feeling insecure and didn't know if you could meet another woman, and let's
say that the breakup was hard on you as well.
Let's say you're out at a bar with your new date and you excuse yourself to
use the boy's room... and when you get back, there are TWO big, handsome
guys talking to your date, and she's laughing hysterically at what they're
saying.
What would most guys do in this situation?
THEY'D FREAK. That's what.
All kinds of fear, jealousy, insecurity, etc. would INSTANTLY take over, and
there would be thoughts of her wanting to be with these guys, them taking
her away, etc.
And what do most guys actually DO in one of these situations?
They walk over, act nervous, and try to take the girl away from the situation.
And they make the mistake of making it OBVIOUS that they're all freaked
out, intimidated, jealous, and insecure.

This, of course, only makes the other guys feel more powerful, and makes
the woman realize that she's with an insecure WUSS.
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, in most cases.
As a side note: I have met and know of guys who actually ENJOY picking up
women who are out with other guys. It's a game to them.
And they've found that it's EASY, because most men are insecure,
and most women don't want to be with a WUSS...
So what's the answer here?
What's the best thing to do when a guy is making his move on your girl?
Well... let's start from a little BEFORE that.
And before I give you my take, I want to recommend that you ALSO get your
hands on a copy of my "On Being A Man... Who Naturally Attracts Women"
CD/DVD program. This program will help you develop a DEEP and important
part of yourself...
 110

The best thing you can do in one of these situations is what you do BEFORE
it ever happens... and it's a combination of things:
1) Realize that there's nothing to be insecure and jealous about, and that
these things only lead to fear and loss.

2) Get your game in shape with women. Get yourself to the point where you
can meet women in ANY situation. This way you always know DEEP DOWN
that if any woman you're with ever decides to leave, you can turn around
and start meeting women. This eliminates insecurity.

3) Mentally prepare. Take some time to imagine that you're in one of these
situations, and notice the feelings you have. Go over it in your mind until you
can think about it without having any negative emotions triggered.

And here's what to do when you're actually IN the situation...

1) EXPECT IT. If you start dating hot women, other men will hit on them,
GUARANTEED. It's part of life, man. You must expect that it's going to
happen and not be surprised when it does.

2) Learn how to have FUN with it. Most guys have no game at all... and it's
kind of funny to watch and listen to them. I enjoy watching guys try to meet
women, because they FAIL miserably in most cases. I like to wait until a guy
is finished trying to pick up on the girl I'm with, and then get her to share
the details so I can laugh.

3) Suggest that she date the guy. One of my favorite things to do is say,
"Hey, you guys would make a cute couple... I think you should go for him."
Of course, this is all said in a light, fun way.

4) If you suspect that the girl you're with is actually TRYING to make you
jealous, talk to other women. If you actually think that a woman is
deliberately trying to make you jealous, you must do some thinking as well.
 111

Some women enjoy making men compete over them and you probably don't
want to be with one of these women. They're a pain. But if you think it's just
a typical situation and the girl is trying to figure out if you "really" like her
(because you'll get jealous if you do), then just turn around and start a
conversation with a group of girls... and wait for her to come and find you.
The point I'm making is that you MUST get over that fear/insecurity/jealousy
issue, and realize that there is nothing to be afraid of.
The only power that other guys will have with your date is the power that
you GIVE them... so don't give them any power by acting like a WUSS. Keep
your power for yourself. The main reason that other guys try to hit on your
girl is because they don't have one themselves. Remember that.

How To Make A Woman Laugh

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave! I used your email close twice now and it worked like magic both
times: once with a statuesque black woman, the other with a cute Asian.
Yeah!
One was in a bookstore, the other in a cafe: I chatted for five minutes,
started leaving, then asked for email.
But what do I at a party where I'm likely to stay for at least an hour?
Pretend to leave, get email, then stay!? What's the strategy here?
C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Isn't it amazing how easy it is to get an email address from a woman you've
just met? I didn't believe it myself at first...
Well, it sounds like you have quite the diverse taste in women... glad to hear
that my techniques cross all racial and cultural boundaries.
If you're at a party, the strategy is:
"Well, it was nice talking to you... I'm going to get back to my friends...
{turn away}... Hey, do you have email?"
 112

Then get her email and go back to your friends. If she starts up a
conversation again with you, you now have all kinds of options.
Think about it.
And, if you or she leaves early, you can still contact her later. Nice.

***QUESTION***
Hi,
I bought your book and its been money well spent as far as I'm concerned.
The email/phone approach works like magic; I have never, ever gotten a
phone number in a bar before, and now I can! Also the "are you touching
me" line you mention in your book is a real winner. And all the general
advice about body language, attitude, its all working.
So now I'm wondering if you can provide some advanced know-how. The
sort of girls I like are the blonde, high-maintenance "Los Angeles" looking
babes, and they seem to be the hardest for me to succeed with. Any
suggestions on what I should be doing to attract them? What look I need to
have, methods of approach, things to say, whatever...
(To explain where I'm coming from, I'm tall (6'2"), thin but cut, average
looking, run my own business and make good money. I try to be both funny
and arrogant but am usually more funny than arrogant. My style is goatee,
black turtleneck, khakis, black loafers.)
Thanks in advance for any extra tips you can provide!
A.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Lease a Mercedes 500SL, get a big gold chain, pretend to be a big-time
producer, and make references to your "connections".
The problem with the type of woman that you're describing is that WOMEN
DON'T ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE. EVERY ONE OF THESE
WOMEN IS TRYING TO COMPENSATE FOR SOMETHING! And it's usually
something like, oh, self esteem, insecurity, lack of attention from a father
figure, a neurotic need for approval... you get the picture.
 113

If you want a fake woman, then be a fake man.

Your other option, of course, is to TURN UP THE MAGIC COCKY + FUNNY
FORMULA TO THE MAX. You're going to have to see her fake beauty and
raise her an arrogant attitude unseen since Ali.
Try it. If it isn't working, turn it up. You're probably asking for trouble, but
since you asked...

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
Great book! It certainly makes much more sense to bypass those "dating
rules" that women seem always play and make your own rules instead.
I do need your opinion here: I'm successful, intelligent, cocky/funny
(bordering on a**hole/arrogant at times), not bad looking, and in good
shape. However, I'm Asian/American and shorter than the average white
male. On the internet, I've had many comments how great I seem until they
learn that I'm Asian-- then I don't hear from them again. In person, it's a
slightly different story because I can use funny/cocky, which gives me better
responses.
I know that Asian American males have always had huge gripes about white
women and even women of their own race who will NOT date them because
of the stereotypical (nerdy, needy, backwards, or arrogant, bad to women,
philanderers... list goes on) AA males that are always portrayed on TV and
movies. And also, you just hardly ever see AA males with white women
(especially in the white suburbia where I happen to live).
Do you have any special advice here? Any personality traits we should
emphasize? Have you seen AA males be successful using these techniques
and what have you observed?
Thanks,
J.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   I have an Asian friend who's probably about 5' 5" tall, and he's ALWAYS
surrounded by young women. And I mean surrounded. Like 5 or 6 at a time.
 114

There are biases everywhere, in all cultures... if you buy into them, then
they apply to you. If you don't, then they don't.
   Whose reality do you live in anyway? Yours? Or hers?

***QUESTION***
Hi, this maybe a dumb question but what does "cocky" mean and can you
provide me some examples. Thanks,
R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The formula is:
COCKY+FUNNY
Cocky alone is not attractive. Arrogance repels people like bad
breath. But a FUNNY arrogance... Ahhh, that's the stuff that miracles
are made of.
The cocky man says, "You are acting like a little girl, and it's annoying me."
The cocky+FUNNY man says, "If you keep acting like a brat I'm going to
spank you like a red-headed-step-child." (The usual response is "Ooohhh, be
careful, I might like that.)
No, really.
A cocky+funny man is always on the lookout for an opportunity to show off
his arrogant humor.

She gives a compliment on the clothing... Cocky+Funny Man says:

"I just met you and you're already starting with the compliments. Look, I'm
not going home with you. I'm not that easy."
I've just placed a pearl of wisdom before you. If I were you, I'd pick it up,
look at it from many angles, and improvise variations. This is magic waiting
to happen.

**QUESTION***
"HEY DAVE! I have a teensy weensy little questions for you, but first I'd like
to say that your book kicks serious butt!! I have had more luck with women
 115

since I got it... Not that I really needed it or anything, (cough cough) ahem!
Anyways, now to my question.
1) I know how to be cocky, I know how to be funny, I treat women the
special attractive way they should be treated... but I have no clue
whatsoever as to what signs a woman will give off when she is feeling
attracted, I keep doing silly, stupid things like um... backing off afterward
'cause I'm not sure what her reaction meant, which I am positive is a
problem.
So if you could help me here I would be most obliged
J."

>>>MY COMMENTS:
The main sign that a woman gives off is VERY simple to spot:
   SHE KEEPS TALKING TO YOU.
You can stop clapping. I know it was profound.
But really, if a woman isn't interested, she won't keep talking to you. She'll
start looking around, acting bored out of her skull, or moving around in an
uncomfortable manner.
The first minute or two is often like this anyway as two people begin a
conversation... but if it continues past about 3-5 minutes, you need to move
on and try to be a little less boring with the next girl!
I knew you would find my answer profound... but if you're still waiting for
her to tilt her head, lick her lips, and twirl her hair then you need to stop
reading books published by guys that have nothing better to do than spend
25 years watching people in bars and writing down what they do.
   It's simple:
1) Meet girl
2) Get email and number
3) Invite for tea and stimulating conversation
4) Meet and tease, be cocky & funny
5) If she's not psycho, invite her over
6) Use The Kiss Test
 116

7) Don't screw it up!

I may have oversimplified a bit here, but I think you get the idea. Don't
worry about what she's thinking... just do what you know is
ATTRACTIVE, and then lead. Things will work themselves out if you
keep doing the right things.

***SUCCESS STORY/QUESTION***
David,
Been reading your newsletter, and bought your book. I've read it once and
will read it again for better comprehension.
Success Story:
In the meantime, I've been putting into practice what you teach. I wanted to
share this success story with your readers, as an example of how well this
stuff can work.
At a bar with a bunch of friends for a stag party. Took the stag-boy around
the bar to get his t- shirt signed by all the women (this is a great way to
meet and talk with every woman in the bar). Anyway, later I saw a blonde
that I had talked to earlier. She was talking with 3 guys. I went over and
tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hey can I talk with you a minute?" and
walked away about 10 feet.
She came over, I used your email/phone # material, and gave her pen and
paper to write it down. You should have seen the looks on the faces of the
three guys who were just talking to her. It was worth it just for that.
I got 4 numbers that night and have been out with 2 of those women.
Question: Like many other guys who write you, I've been trying to develop
the cocky-funny attitude. I've watched most of the comedians and movies
you suggested in your book. I'm working hard on this but it's just moving
along slowly. Now that getting emails/numbers isn't a problem, and even
getting dates (although I know I could do better if I was more cocky-funny)
is now more possible, I now have run into a whole new problem: how to
 117

create tension/tease/act cocky-funny on the first date so that SHE calls ME

for the second date (hopefully cooking a meal at her place).
Anything you suggest for us guys at this stage of our learning that isn't
already in your book would be most helpful.
Thanks,
S.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're doin' great... and you'll figure it out as you go.
One of the best things you can do is to take out a pen and paper, and write
down the ten most common situations that you find yourself in, then write
down some cocky, funny lines to use.
For instance, you might write:
End Of Date
1) Say to her, "Now don't call me three times a day... I had fun too, but no
stalking"
2) Kiss her and say, "Call me"
3) Tell her, "I'm busy tomorrow, but if you tempt me with a good enough
offer, I might make time for you the next night..."
Are you feelin' me?
Just work out the different situations on paper first, then do them in real life.
You're on the right track.

***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
You've guessed it - the magic formula is working. I went for 10 years with
only 3 women, and in the last 3 months, since I read the book, I've slept
with 3 more. The C&F theory is 100%. I picked up one girl at supermarket,
got her email, sent her an email, got a date, left early ("got to go – too busy,
sorry...", waited 10 days, got another date, asked her if she'd like to see me
again, told her "I think you should, because I'm almost perfect" (she
laughed), kissed her and you can guess the rest...This stuff is dynamite. I'm
a good looking, successful 36 year old (separated), but I act an idiot in front
 118

of women - or used to. Now I feel *totally* in control, and am enjoying

playing with
your ideas. Spot on!
D.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   Isn't it amazing what a little attitude adjustment can do? I appreciate your
email because a lot of guys don't realize that JUST BEING GOOD LOOKING
doesn't do it. In fact, I know more average looking guys who are successful
with women that "good looking" guys who are. Funny, isn't it? |

Actually, it's COCKY and funny. Ba-Dum-Bum.

***QUESTION***
Dear David,
I met this girl on the internet and we have been out twice. On the computer
and on the phone she's all sweet and inviting but in person she is entirely
different. On our second date she told me that she didn't feel "connected"
with me. Meanwhile I have been nothing but a gentleman to this woman.
Help, what did I do wrong?
Sincerely,
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   I have two ideas for you:
1) Stay tuned and read every email that you get from me.
2) http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
   And listen to the little audio clip at the end of the second page. You need
to learn that ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. And it isn't logical.
   Again, stay tuned.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I spend a lot of time in the library these days studying for an exam -
Psychology of all things- but it hasn't helped because oftentimes I see an
 119

attractive girl at the next table or perhaps a cute girl walks past - never to
be seen again. My problem is that I'm totally at a loss as to what to say and
how to arrange it so we meet in what seems like a natural and unsuspicious
way. I can't just go up to a study-table and suddenly introduce myself and
I'm certainly not going to follow anyone around. Any suggestions?
S.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Like I say in my book "Double Your Dating"... women KNOW what you're
doing when you approach them. Heck, even if you're just being nice and
friendly they'll SUSPECT that you're picking up on them.
So, get over this "unsuspicious way" idea.
What... do you want to start talking about math or anthropology, then slide
in under her radar with your smooth Mac Daddy techniques... and have her
wake up enamored with you?
Well, now that I put it this way...
Just sit close and start up a conversation. Ask them what they're studying.
Say anything. Then be cocky & funny. Say you have to go, that it's been nice
chatting... and "Hey, do you have email?"
Quit trying to be the "Secret Agent Mac" of the campus. And besides,
women think that men who are self conscious approaching them are
WUSSIES.
And, in case you didn't know this, WUSSIES DON'T GET WOMEN ALL HOT
AND BOTHERED.
Revenge Of The Nerds will NEVER happen to you.

***QUESTION***
David,
First of all, I've got to say that your advice is brilliant! There's a lot of con-
men out there selling silver bullets for guys women problems, but you're
writing makes you figure out what works best for you. Since I've started
following the Cocky-Funny approach, I've noticed better results with women
in general.
 120

Recently, I was out with a group of friends for someone's birthday. I met this
great chick who we both have mutual friends with. Well needless to say we
both were attracted to one another and were dancing in the club later with
each other. One of my friends was talking to her and then afterwards she
went a bit cold on me. He told me later that she said she liked me but had
just started going out with another guy for 2 weeks.
Now I'm not one to try and steal another guys girl, but I felt that the two of
us really connected and would like to see this girl. I haven't got her number,
but my friend has a good excuse to ring her and I know I will be seeing her
again in a couple of weeks through friends. Well my question David is this.
You're tips helped make her attracted to me, but what can I do if she's still
unsure about what to do with her current relationship?
I'd really appreciate your advice!
J.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, if you haven't read my book, then you need to get it ASAP and learn
how to use the "friendship" approach with women.
I think that most guys are just too damn anxious to get their willies wet
sometimes.
Instead of trying to convince her to leave some guy she's been dating for
two weeks based on a few dances, instead say:
“It was nice meeting you, you seem like you might make a nice
FRIEND. Maybe we can have coffee sometime."
Get it?
I've learned the hard way that it's much better to get to know a woman as a
friend FIRST anyway. It puts you in the right frame of mind, and you get to
learn a few things about her before you apply all of your serious advanced
smooth-mac tactics (and very well may just save you from a neurotic
experience of the unwanted kind).
When you say "friends" first, it says all the right things. Think about it.
 121

***EMAIL OF THE WEEK***

I have a question about fat women. if a women sit in the house all day worry
about things and trying to destroy my career of making music and looking
for some attention and money should i get rid of the fat pig or stay with her
till things blow and hit her like a punching bag to settle her emotions down?
she not my girlfriend she just a sick women who was cool with me since my
youth but she hates everything I'm into. well I'm ready to treat her like dirt
as far the game go she play to talk trash about my talent and putting her
nose in my business. What should I do punch her like a pimp or kick the fat
bic.. to the curb.(we ain,t got anything in command)

>>>MY COMMENTS:
   I have to warn you beforehand, I'm not a qualified relationship expert or
licensed practitioner, but I may be able to offer you some insight.
   It sounds to me like your relationship could possibly have eroded beyond
repair. Again, I'm not a qualified expert, but this is just my personal
intuition.
   In addition, I realize that on occasion a woman can behave in a way that is
unsettling, but violence is never an acceptable way to settle a dispute of this
nature.
   In other words I just don't think that if you "punch her like a pimp" that it's
going to solve anything.
   Good luck with your "...career of making music and looking for some
attention and money..."
*** I know, it just isn't possible that someone could have sent me this
letter... but sometimes life is just this way. I cut and pasted it exactly as it
was sent to me... with no edits. Unreal.***

***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave, I wrote you last week saying that I really like this girl and wanted to
"push her over the edge" and get her to see me more. Well, I took your
 122

advice and waited for her to call me. Well, she did, and everything that you
said would happen did. She told me that she is used to guys calling her all of
the time and bugging her and that I am the first guy she's gone out with that
didn't try to call her and ask her out every day. Needless to say she asked
ME if she could see ME more. It worked like a charm and she spent the night
last night (it was worth the wait). Just wanted to say thanks for the help and
that you are cool as hell for helping guys to quit acting like "wusses".
Thanks buddy.
-D
>>>MY COMMENTS:
   What else can I say? NICE!
   I should invent a cream called "WUSS-BE-GONE"... or maybe "WUSS-
AWAY"... you could rub it on yourself and it would overcome the urge to call
women and beg for their attention. I could sell it for $100.00 a tube.
Hmmmmm... I'll have to see if I can scare up some venture capital for this
one. I'll keep you posted.
   ...and that about wraps up another one.
   I'm still trying to recover from the comedy above... I really hate my job.
   If you found this particular discussion interesting, then you probably need
to learn the DEEPER secrets of how to be more successful with women and
dating. And if you're ready, then it's probably time for you to step up and get
yourself an education about how to attract women and KEEP them attracted.
And the best education in the world is my Advanced Dating Techniques
program. It's over 12 full hours of me teaching all of my very best concepts.
   This program will teach you everything from how to overcome your fears
of women to how to take things to a "physical" level without running into
rejection. It is literally JAM PACKED with HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of
amazing step-by-step techniques for overcoming all of your obstacles and
getting to the point in your life where you have the kind of success that
you've always wanted with women.
 123

How Women "Test" Men - How To Pass

Have you ever called a woman on the phone to set up a date and she says:
"Friday night? Sure. Call me on Friday and we can talk about it..."?
Or, have you ever had a woman ask you if you're "a player?"
Or, have you ever had a woman challenge you about something ridiculous?
Or, have you ever had a woman call you five minutes before a date and
cancel?
 Or, have you ever had a woman pout and get upset because she didn't get
her way?
Or, have you ever asked a woman for her number and she says, "Why don't
you give me your number and I'll call YOU?"
Well guess what... you were being TESTED.
All of these are examples of common things women do to "test" men.
On some level, the woman you were dealing with was testing to see how
much control she had in the relationship... and how STRONG you were.
The paradox of "testing" is that if you COMPLY with what a woman
SEEMS to want, you will usually FAIL the test.
Hey, I never said that women made sense... lol.
I was reading a great book recently called "The Way Of The Superior Man",
and inside the author points out that a woman will often ask a man for
something DIRECTLY... but if he DOES what she asks, she will be
disappointed and ANGRY with him.
Ever been there?
So what's with this testing stuff, anyway?
Well, the answer is fascinating.
And before I tell you about why women TEST you, I want to mention that
there's a LOT more going on "behind the scenes" when it comes to female
psychology and behavior. I believe that if you can learn how to understand
this "mating psychology," then you can learn to attract women MUCH
faster...
 124

Women test men because they need to QUICKLY figure out what they're
dealing with, and they can't expect a man to just be straight up and honest
about his strengths and weaknesses.
I mean, let's face it... we guys like to talk a big game, but when it comes to
walking the talk, we often can't BACK IT UP.
Also, beautiful women have a lot of options. They have their pick of men.
And beautiful women prefer STRONG men. Not physically strong (although
this can be an advantage), but strong in CHARACTER and PERSONAL
IDENTITY.
Women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.
So let me ask you... if you were an attractive woman that was being
chased around by 100 guys, how would YOU go about figuring out which one
or ones were the "real deal" and which were merely FAKING strength and
confidence?
   Of course... you'd have to TEST them.
   But you couldn't test by saying, "OK, I'm going to give you a test now, so
get ready."
   No no NO!
   You'd have to use "blind" tests. Tests that would allow you to see a man's
true strengths and weaknesses. And in fact, you'd want to use tests that
ideally DIDN'T ALLOW HIM TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE TESTING... OR WHAT
YOU HAD DISCOVERED ABOUT HIM WITH THOSE TESTS. This way, if he
turned out to be a Wuss Bag, you could slip away quickly and easily.
   This would give you the power...
   Of course.
   And if you did this OFTEN, you'd eventually become so accustomed to
doing it, that MANY of the tests would become SUBCONSCIOUS and work
their way into your NATURAL, EVERYDAY way of communicating with men.
   Well, guess what?
   That's what is going on with beautiful women.
   Many of the tests that they use with men are actually OUTSIDE OF THEIR
AWARENESS. They test us automatically!
 125

   And if you fail one of these tests, there's a good chance that you won't get
another chance.
   In this fast-paced world, we humans don't have the time to spend getting
to know people over a few months or years to figure out whether or not
they're the kind of person that would make a good friend or mate.
   We need to know NOW.
   So we use shortcuts.
   Testing is a shortcut for women.
   It lets them discover VERY RAPIDLY whether you have BALLS, or if you're
just another one of the bazillion Wusses that are trying to get her attention.
   I hope you feel what I'm saying.
   So, the next time you're standing in front of a beautiful woman
who you've just asked for her number and she says, "Why don't you
just give me yours and I'll call YOU..." try CHUCKLING out loud, and
saying: "Oh, come on. Don't give me that old line. Write your number
down and I'll only call you 25 times a day until you wind up having to
change it because I have anything better to do with my time than
call someone who doesn't want to hear from me."
   Then hand her a pen, point to the paper, and look her in the eye
expectantly.
   Love it.
   Now, obviously there's a lot more to this issue of TESTING. There's a lot
more going on than meets the eye.
   There are all kinds of subtle cues and body language that women read to
decide just what kind of man you are... and these cues also trigger
ATTRACTION (or the opposite).
   I've spent a lot of time researching this topic, and figuring out exactly what
makes women feel that powerful emotion called ATTRACTION, and what
repels them instantly.
   If you'd like to get a POWERFUL education on the topic of women and
dating, then I recommend that you check out my "Advanced Dating
Techniques" program.
 126

   In it, I spend several HOURS going into great detail and teaching the
exact, step-by-step process of communicating with women in a way that
triggers their SEXUAL ATTRACTION mechanism. I also teach you exactly
what to do when you're being tested by women... to turn her tests into even
MORE ATTRACTION for you.
   
***QUESTION***
Dave-o...
What would your advice be for a shy guy who used to be really ugly but is
now not ugly and has plenty of women attracted to him but they never talk
to him? How in the name of Oprah Winfrey's ass do I start a conversation
with a woman I don't even know???

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, you realize that I've chosen your email to be included here is because
you've mentioned Oprah's ass... which is a funny thing to talk about.

Why, I have no idea... but it is.

As far as starting conversations with women, here are a few ideas for you...

First of all, you must realize that your body language is more important than
the words you use. Wherever you are, and whatever the situation, you
MUST remember that your composure and body language are the
keys.

I've watched a lot of guys approach a LOT of women in my day. And I can
usually tell within the first few SECONDS if the guy knows what he's doing
with women... and if he's going to be successful.

Most guys use submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones... they
almost look as if they're pleading with a woman to give them approval and
that they're nervous and self conscious about the whole event.

In other words, most guys come across as WUSSIES when they first
approach women.

On the other hand, the guys I know who are the most successful with
women are the opposite.
 127

They're totally cool, calm, and collected. They often approach a woman and
begin the conversation like they would with an old friend.

There is no apologetic body language, and there are no signs of insecurity.

They aren't there to find out if the woman is going to give them
some approval... on the contrary; they are trying to find out if the
woman meets THEIR standards.

Think about how you'd act if you were only interested in finding out if she's
the kind of exceptional woman that you're interested in getting to know
better, instead of being concerned about whether or not she's going to like
you...
big shift, isn't it?

Now, here's some homework for you: Sit down and think carefully about the
most common situations you find yourself in where you see women that
you'd like to meet and talk to.

Think about what's going on in their minds, where they're going, what
they've just done... and what they're about to do. Think about how they're
probably feeling.

Now, come up with 10 different ways that you could start a conversation in
this situation. Remember that YOU'RE the one who is trying to figure
out if SHE is the kind of woman you'd like to get to know better.

Once you've come up with 10 good ones, pick your favorite, and mentally
rehearse it.

I realize that I'm asking you to do some work here, but it's sooooo worth it.

I'm going to give you one more hint...   Most of the guys I know who are
great with women use the simplest of simple conversation starters.

  "Hi."

"What are you drinking?"

  "Hi, are you from around here?"

  ...I realize that these sound simple, and they are. But they're so simple
that they're DISARMING. They don't come across as canned "pick up lines",
and they help you figure out very quickly if the woman you're talking to is
friendly.
 128

And remember, relaxed body language is Key!

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Hey David,
I read a lot of what you had to say in an email I got from a friend, so I went
to your website. Although I sort of think that a lot of this is misleading to
women and that you are making these men as manipulative as you say we
(women) are, I found that most of what you said is true. I am always
attracted to guys that are confident, that act like they could have any girl in
the room. It's sad to admit, but I don't go for the nice "girly-men" (as you
say it, lol), I go for the risky, confident guys. I wish there was a site like
yours out there for us women.

J.
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, well excuuuuuse me for helping other guys learn how to behave in a
way that actually makes women feel ATTRACTION for them!
Ha!
So, you don't like it that I'm teaching men all the secrets, but you DO wish
that there was a site like mine for women! Love it.
Thanks for the honesty, it's refreshing.

And by the way, I love to get comments from women... so bring them on!

 ***QUESTION***

David, firstly thanks for all the fantastic advice you give out to guys
worldwide. Finally, someone who tells it like it is. I do however, have a
question. I was going out with this girl a few months back. Initially we were
really close friends (I know, a bad start already) and then started dating.
Just like many guys I made the fatal mistake of acting like a wuss when what
got me the girl in the first place was the c&f approach. As soon as I started
acting all wussy all the attraction evaporated. Anyway, having learnt my
mistake I thought to myself, why not see if c&f will have the same effect on
her now. So I have basically got on with my life, pulled back from her almost
completely. The whole situation with us is still a bit emotional if you know
what I mean. However, we attend the same school so it is inevitable for us
to run into each other as was the case a few days ago. Anyway, we chatted
for a while and I really poured on the c&f. My question is this. She laughed
 129

and everything but at the same time asked me "Why can’t you just act
normal?"
and "You never used to tease me this much?" Does it matter that me and
this girl used to date?
There is still emotion in the air when we spend time together and I just
wanna know if my c&f should be toned down or what?

Thanks Dave,
GR
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, it's very interesting how women test men.
I interpret your ex saying things like "Why can't you just be yourself?" as a
test.
She's trying to see if she can control you... because she perceives that you
are now taking control.
When women say things to me like, "Be nice!" or "You're mean... stop it!" or
"I don't like that..." I always shoot something back like "I'm glad you like it".

This is confusing to them.

But, it also transmits my message loud and clear:

"I'M THE ONE WHO'S IN CHARGE OF MY OWN REALITY, AND I DON'T

CHANGE JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ACTING ANNOYED."
I hope you understand what's going on here.
I am NOT acting abusive or mean when I do this.   I'm just casually letting
her know that I'm not about to change for her.
As ironic as it sounds, women will respond to this in two different
and conflicting ways.
On the surface they'll argue with you, but deep down they will
respect you and feel more ATTRACTION for you.
I'm generalizing here, but I think you get it.
The next time your girl says "You never used to tease me this much "say
 130

"Oh, you know what? I'm really sorry... because you always deserved it... I
must just not have been paying close enough attention!"

***QUESTION***
Can you give advice on delivering the perfect kiss? In a few weeks, I will be
going out on a date with my first love. It's been 14 years since I've seen her,
but I have this feeling that the date may lead to that special moment-"THE
KISS".
E.
LOS ANGELES

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, I have a great idea.
Just go to my website at DoubleYourDates.com and look at The Kiss Test on
the second page of the site.
Another hint: When you first go to kiss a girl, stop just as your lips barely
touch, then pull back, look into her eyes, and smile.
Tease her a bit like this.
It will ultimately make the first deep kiss far more electrifying and powerful.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hey again: Okay, I'm your old and faithful lesbian fan. Months ago I wrote
you about the stripper I was dating and everything worked like a charm.  I
didn't know if the C/F thing was working at first b/c she would always tell me
to stop, but then next thing I know, she was living with me.
Needless to say, I sorta became a wuss and she left me for a guy. Yadda
yadda. It's all for the best. Boo who. But seriously, I need some advice
again. This time, I have got a crazy crush on my Veterinarian. I wasn't sure
if she liked women or not, but then again, I usually go for the straight
women, so it's always an interesting time. However, being that I'm kind of
shy, my Vet was actually very talkative and open with me and we seemed to
 131

hit it off. My cat had a reoccurring ear infection so I was going back once a
week to see this chick. I found out that she is leaving the practice and so the
next time-which was supposed to be the last time I went in- I got the balls to
ask her out. Many of my straight girlfriends told me to ask her out just as a
friendly gesture for taking care of my cat.  So I was going to do that but, I
guess it seemed to come out more like asking her on a date anyway.  She
said yes before I was finished asking her. It went like this:

Me - "I'd like to take you out for coffee sometime..."

Her - "yeah, sure that'd be great, i'd like that."

me - "...to thank you for taking such good care of my cat."

Now she said yes before I was done, so I thought it was great and was in the
game. But she said she wanted to see my cat one more time before she left,
yet again.  So following your ever so brilliant advice, I asked for her email on
my way out of the office, knowing I would only have one last opportunity to
see her after that one. She gave it to me w/out question. So I emailed her
that night and just said something short and simple like "lets get coffee,
margaritas, whatever, whenever...see you soon."  And when she responded,
she wrote about how she just got out of a 4 and a half year relationship with
her girlfriend, and that she was switching jobs, apts. and so on, so and then
added that she thought it would be fun to hang out sometime, but not for
the next few weeks. To me, it really felt like a nice way to blow me off
without making it awkward next time I saw her again. So I wrote back a
really supportive (probably wussied out) response about how it's cool if she
needs the dust to settle and what not, etc.  And that I'd like to get to know
her at any point in time. Also I told her I'd help her move and what not if she
needed it, etc. It wasn't long or drawn out (like this) and I just let her know
she could touch base with me whenever.  Now, I go see her for the last and
final appointment this Sunday. She responded to that email with a very short
 132

"thanks. Much appreciated. See you soon." I didn't respond to that at all.
That was that. Now I'm not sure what the hell to do.  She is well off,
obviously intelligent, professional, probably a few years older than me, and
seemingly a pretty cool chick. I'm her client and don't have much to offer
other than my killer personality when I'm not being SO SHY.  HELP!  Do you
have any suggestions for me? This Sunday is my last chance for c/f routine
without crossing some kind of boundary or coming off as a big dork. Thanks
again for bringing all this stuff out.  I've seen it work time and time again,
not just with men on women, but women on men, and women on women.
Interesting stuff there buddy. NP - NYC

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
NO NO NO!   What are you doing with this whole acting-like- a-supportive
WUSSY chick business?

If you sense that someone is pulling back, YOU PULL BACK FURTHER!
Don't write an inner-child-hugging email.
If anything, you should have emailed her and said:
"Whoa, trigger. You sound like a rebound waiting to happen. Let me
know when you're feeling a little more stable, and we'll share some
tea. Until then, let's just be friends..."

Catch my drift here?

And you DEFINITELY need to lose this whole "I don't have anything to offer
her" mentality. This is WUSS thinking personified.

You've already scared off a hot stripper, and now you're trying to do it with
the vet. Be cool. Stop acting so much like a Wuss.
Just be friendly, and give her a call in a month and say: "Hey, let's have tea
on Friday." Oh, and take me along.
 133

***QUESTION***
Dave-
Great book, I look forward to the getting the Audio series as soon as I make
some money, but as a poor college student, that may be a while. Anyway, I
wanted to mention an article called "Moral Saints" by Susan Wolf that I just
read for ethics.  She argues that modern ethical theories are faulty because
if one were to actually follow them, and become a moral saint, they would
become too nice, and as a result, boring. Although she doesn't say so, I'm
sure she would agree that a moral saint would also be extremely
unattractive, no matter how hot, simply because he would be too good.  It's
not surprising that it is a women who makes this observation about ethical
theories. It would seem to me that most men are programmed to attempt to
be a moral saint in the eyes of their women -- always considerate, helping,
affectionate, doing the right thing -- in other words, being wussy. Instead,
Susan Wolf herself says that people should focus more on their passions, and
basically, keep busy, be interesting, and don't be a wussy. Sounds awfully
familiar. Thought you might find the article interesting.  W.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
This is rather profound. I've read your letter several times now, and I
couldn't agree more.
BORING is the enemy. PREDICTABILITY is a similar sin.
Moral saints arouse no sexual passions in women.

Thanks for sharing.

***QUESTION***
Dave,
In a recent Dating tips email I received, some gentleman asked a question
about body language. However, I have a more detailed question on the
subject. What types of body language tend to make women NOT attracted to
you? And what types make them insanely attracted to you? After reading
 134

that, I kinda realized how I'm always tapping my fingers. The actual reason I
tap my fingers is because I write music, and I just ALWAYS have some kind
of rhythm or beat going through my head, but it made me realize that
women probably read that as nervousness. Since quitting the finger tapping,
I've noticed women seem at least slightly more interested, but I was
wondering if there were any other little pieces of advice you could give on
the subject of Body Language.
Thanks Dave,

NB, Indiana
 >>>MY COMMENTS:

This is GREAT question.

Here are some GOOD things to do:
1) Hold yourself upright. Think of how you'd hold yourself if you were the
most confident person in the world.

2) Move slowly. Gesture slowly. Speak slowly. Blink slowly. This

communicates comfort and confidence.

3) Pause often. Only respond if you choose to. Remember, you don't need
to react or respond to anything that you don't want to. Women often try to
push you off balance. Don't fall for it. Stay cool, and pause if you need to in
order to keep your composure.

Here are some BAD things to avoid doing:

1) Talking too fast or too much. This communicates that you're nervous and
sketchy (unless you're telling a really interesting story, or you have
integrated fast talking into your personality in an interesting way, of course).

2) Nervous gestures, laughs, ticks, etc. I've met many guys who laugh
 135

nervously after just about everything they say. This is the DEATH of
attraction. It instantly communicates insecurity.

3) Breaking eye contact. At first, you need to maintain eye contact until SHE
breaks it. This establishes at an unconscious level that you're not afraid.

I also recommend that you study the body language and composure of some
of the world's most famous "ladies' men".

Watch "Ocean's 11", and pay attention to how Brad Pitt and George Clooney
act in that movie. They are great models of attractive, composed body
language.
Check out "Gone With The Wind", and watch how Rhett handles Scarlet.
Awesome.
The more you pay attention, the more you'll learn and improve.

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
Thanks to you i am very motivated in approaching women. I'm finding out
that more times I approach women, the easier it gets.  The question that I
have for you is how long should you chat with women before you ask for
their phone number.  I never go to clubs so it's not like I have all night to
converse with them.  Most of the girls i do meet i don't have too long to chat
with them for example like at a gas station or they may be a cashier waiting
on me.  What should i do if i don't have that long to chat?
thanks,

S.C.  in CT
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
It might surprise you, but if the conversation is going well, a woman will
often give you her number within a minute or two of meeting.
The magic combination:
 136

You're Leaving + Asking Correctly

Try this: "Hey, do you have email?"

"Yes."
"Great, I'm leaving, but I'd like to chat with you again. Here, write it
down. And write your number there too."

It's so simple that it's almost stupid.

You'll soon find that many of the women you ask will just give you their
email and number that easily.
The more you do it, the easier it gets... just like you said. Don't buy into the
idea that women aren't comfortable giving out their numbers. It's just not
true.
Your skill and comfort is the determining factor. Really.

 ***COMMENT***
Dave,
I have a comment to your recent MailBag titled "Accidental Attraction". This
refers to a question and a point made in different letters from the married
men but as a lesson for the single men someday wanting to be married. The
question being "does this work for married men?" and the second a point
made about "Wusses don't attract women".
This should be phrased "Real and Fun women" which I'll explain in a minute.
I have been married for 23 years now and never been married before her. I
have to say that I was the "King of Wusses" BACK THEN! I have learned or
recognized three things at least from your Book and Dating Tips.

1) Your tips work very well for married men as well, and yes, it does cause
"accidental attraction" that can get you in trouble with your wife.
 137

2) You can be a wuss, use cocky and funny with it which was natural for me
and land you a "woman". I didn't say a "Real and Fun woman", I said a
woman.

3) If you don't listen and pay attention to Dave's advice you will wind up with
one of those women he has talked about that "Is very insecure, has little or
no self esteem and will be in control of your every move and because of
"JEALOUSY"!
I have always been kind of c&f naturally but was always very shy around
girls. My parents taught me that women were very special, which when I was
young may have been but this is a new world. I was taught to serve, respect
and appreciate them as I was trained to be a "Mama's Boy" and a real
"Wuss". My wife controlled me and made my life miserable, accusing me of
"looking at other women", flirting, etc. Other friends’ wives or girlfriends
enjoyed my c&F nature and would kid around with me making my wife really
jealous. We had lots of fights to the point that I was sick and tired of not
getting to be myself. Through trial and error not knowing any better, I was
doing exactly what Dave teaches and loved it when the other women were
enjoying me. I finally grew some balls, told my wife just how I felt
including that I was a wuss when she married me but I'm not now
and argued to the point that I threatened divorce and she knew I
was serious. Now we get along great and a big part of us rekindling our
love and friendship is because for the past year or so I have been using
Daves "technique's" on my wife. She now enjoys other guy's joking with her
and doesn't mind me joking with other women, as long as I include her. So
the moral of this is, Be careful how you handle yourself and what you ask
for.

thanks J.M. TX
 138

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Exactly.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Dave,
You are the man!. Having downloaded your book and had fantastic success
with other women, I now need your advice on further areas. The first is that
I am a very sexy Lesbian woman and using the C+F technique on other
women has just increased my success rate phenomenally. However I now
want to move into the area of college babes. My problem is that I am a very
successful woman and want to be able to take some of the student and
young Au Pairs I know out, but your book expressly forbids paying for others
unless it is a cup of coffee. How do I get to go anywhere when most of them
never have any money. The park is ok once in awhile, but when it rains...etc
etc.
Secondly there is a lady who I have been working on who has constantly
made derogatory comments but has later called me to go out. I have never
chased her - recently she sent me a picture of herself topless. I'm really not
sure what a good C+F response would be too this or should I just ignore it?
She says she is just being friends and perhaps being English I am too
puritanical. Anyway keep up the fantastic work. This stuff works for us girls
too!
R (London)

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Can I just tell you how much I love the job of being the dating coach to
lesbians? And can I tell you how much I love the fact that you purchased my
book and that it's helping you increase your success "phenomenally"?
Beavis and Butthead would most certainly approve.
So, now you're not happy with regular women... you want to start seducing
"college babes", huh?
Well, NEWS JUST IN: I think you're going to be just fine taking the young
 139

things "out". I don't recommend that guys take women "out" to dinner
at first because it sets up a pre-programmed set of responses in
women. But, if you're an older, successful, Cocky & Funny woman, you're
going to probably have no trouble staying in control of the direction that the
relationship goes.
There are exceptions to every rule, and you'll probably find that taking the
young babes out to fine dinners will only sweep them off their feet (when
combined with a killer wit and confident demeanor).
Just make sure that you NEVER act like you're trying to impress or
buy approval. And as for the topless picture, I would have to SEE IT before
I could give you an accurate appraisal of the situation.
I recommend that you start sending all pictures of the women you're dating
to me, so I can look out for your best interests and provide you with expert
"advice". I might also be open to traveling to London to give you some
"personal coaching" in the area of attracting hot college babes. I'd charge
you a lot, but it would be worth it.
I'll be expecting the pictures...

 ***QUESTION***
Oh Jedi Master,
Your material is GREAT!! I went from meeting a girl every couple or three
months to averaging meeting a new girl every week (and that's on weeks I
don't go clubbing on the weekends). My old pre-Jedi self would never say the
things to girls that I say now.  But, the things I would have considered rude
before, I find that drives girls WILD! In hindsight, I remember myself trying
to "friend" girls into going out with me. I would be with them when guys
would come up and act all arrogant and slam on them.  When the guys
would walk away, I'd make some chivalrous comment about what a jerk he
was.  Little did I notice the dreamy look in her eyes as she watched
him walk away and absent-mindedly agreed with me. What a wuss I
was. You've changed all that. Now, not only am I in control of myself and my
relationships with women, but my confidence helps with other areas of my
 140

life as well!

Now, with that praise out of the way, I do have a question. I have used your
stuff to meet more women than I ever imagined before. I pull some
cocky/funny stuff to get them interested. I get the first date almost without
fail.  However, here is where I run into my problem.  I can do the
cocky/funny stuff when we meet for a few minutes.
I can do it on the emails we exchange and on the phone when I call to ask
for the date.  But, when we get to the date, there's a couple of hours where
conversation has to take place. Now, while I consider myself a relatively
funny guy, I can't pull it off the entire night. Eventually we have to break
down into some halfway serious conversation. In your book/newsletters, you
say to not talk about work/childhood/family/etc...  all of the standard things
people talk about to find out about each other. But, trying to avoid these
topics leaves me with nothing to say to someone that I really don't know.
Things usually get quiet, which signifies the failure of a date, and we don't go
out again.
In short... I've been very successful at getting her to the date.  I've been
very successful if the date goes well and we end up back at my place.
However, my problem is making the date successful so that we DO end up
back at my place.  More often than not, the date drowns in silence.
Help me, David!  Your Padawan, D.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice job. You're doing great!
It sounds to me like you need to learn a few things:

1) The structure of comedy.

2) How to tell stories.
3) Which topics fascinate women?
4) How to control your emotions better.
 141

Go down to the bookstore for an afternoon and read some books on comedy
and story telling. Focus on learning about how and why big hit movies and
TV shows are hits.
Learn about how different emotions, conflicts, and drama play
together to make for RIVETING stories.  There's a way to make any
story or conversation interesting, and you just need to learn more about it.
I'm also going to guess that something ELSE is happening that leads to a
date "drowning in silence".
Most guys begin to get uncomfortable at some point during a date. Maybe
they sense that it's time to move things to a physical level. Maybe they're
nervous and don't know if a woman likes them... and they start to feel
insecure.
I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
The point is that when most guys hit this point, they begin to let
their emotions and insecurity get the best of them.

They begin to think "Uh, oh. I need to do something to impress her,

or say something to make her laugh or she won't like me." This leads
to all kinds of problems.
If you begin to feel this kind of thing happening, it's probably time to DO
SOMETHING.
Get up, go for a walk, and move around. Get out of the serious mode
somehow.
Tell a funny story about something that happened to you when you were a
kid.
Go to the store and look at magazines and make fun of famous people.
Just do whatever you have to to get out of that mental and emotional rut!
The thing that determines whether a silence was "uncomfortable" or not is
WHAT YOU DO AFTER THE SILENCE IS OVER.

If you act cool and casual, then it won't be a big deal.

If you act nervous and anxious, then it will KILL the mood.
 142

Finally, you MUST learn to ADVANCE things physically when it's time. If you
don't use the material you learned in my eBook and especially the bonus
booklet "Bridges", then you're going to be fighting an uphill battle.
Most of the time, women expect the man to "make all the moves", and you
need to learn how to do that in such a way that it's smooth and natural.
Go back and reread "Bridges". It will help a lot.

***SUCCESS STORY***
ALL HAIL KING DAVID!!!  You are a true genius. I have only been getting
your newsletters for a few weeks but let me tell ya, dude, THEY WORK! I
have always been a lil cocky, and fairly successful with women but wasn't
getting 10's. But when I added a bit of humor to it, its a powerful
aphrodisiac. I was at a bar the other night with some friends and saw an
incredible looking waitress. My buddies started razzing me that she was out
of my league, so of course, GAME ON!. She came over to take our order and
everyone was so "nice" and "kind" to her I wanted to hurl. I finally spoke up
and said with a totally straight face, "Can I get another waitress. I really
don't appreciate the way you have been staring at me like a piece of
meat and trying to undress me with your eyes". Her jaw almost hit the
ground. I then added, "I will let it slide THIS time if my first drink is on YOU".
You should have seen the look on my buddies faces when she came back,
and of course, MY drink was free. After a few drinks we decided to leave and
I didn't even ask for her number or email, but low and behold, she came
running to the door as we were leaving and handed me a slip of paper with
her cell number on it. I said, "this really doesn't change anything. Im
still a bit annoyed with you but you can make it up by taking me to
dinner sometime". She said no prob and that she was looking forward to
it. She said she gets hit on ALL the time but most guys turn into jellyfish
after 5 minutes and that I seemed so confident it was a HUGE turn on. My tip
to guys just starting out: Try your stuff out on waitresses.  In a few more
weeks I will be ordering your e-book and can’t wait for a few more tips.
 143

J.C.  from Warren, Michigan

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
You are my hero. I will steal this line, use it with great success, and claim
that I thought of it myself. I'm jealous.

***QUESTION***
Dave,
I think your are right on with your recent email about women NOT being
attracted to wussy characteristics. But you have skipped over the other side
of the coin, which is WHAT causes men to act that way? Maybe its too
obvious, but isn't it because their Mom's always REWARDED them when they
were helpful, accommodating, pliant, co-operative, and PUNISHED them
when they were defiant, cocky, did not go along, talked back, etc. The men
have to overcome their programming from a 'happy' childhood that has
programmed them BACKWARDS for the challenges of dating as an adult.

You agree?
MD

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I wouldn't say that I've "skipped over" the things that cause men to act
like Wussies... I just didn't cover it in that newsletter.
As a matter of fact, I've spent a LOT of time thinking about this, researching
it, and coming up with the reasons why men act like this in the first place...
and more importantly, how to recognize these things and CHANGE them
when you want to.
...and if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself "You know, I
need to learn this stuff about how to meet and attract women so I can get
rid of that insecure and fearful feeling I have", then YOU'RE RIGHT!
I think that every man should invest in himself, and learn this skill.
Unfortunately, most guys never take the time and invest in themselves...
 144

and they wind up going their whole lives WISHING that they could attract the
kinds of women that they want.
  Well, I used to be one of the guys who didn't know what he was doing with
women. Now I'm one of the guys who can go out anytime, in any situation
and attract women.

What's the difference?

I TOOK THE TIME TO LEARN.
And if you'd like to learn, then I recommend you learn the things that I
learned FIRST.   It's taken me a long time to figure all this stuff out, and it's
also taken a lot of time, effort, and energy on my part to put it all down on
paper and on audio and video... so that any guy can learn from the things
I've discovered.

***QUESTION***
Honestly Dave, I think you need more caution, and warning signs on your
products, before some knucklehead tries to sue you for loading his life with
more women than the poor soul knows how to handle. lol I've followed your
newsletter, purchased your Ebook, and Advanced Series. Totally Incredible
stuff. I dated my High School sweetheart for the better portion of 5 years,
and honestly if I knew way back then what I know now it probably wouldn't
have lasted 5 months. She was always demanding, and got upset when I
tried to hang out with friends of mine, pretty much your average basket
case, but I felt like she was the only girl that I could ever attract. Then I
managed to stumble over your site and signed up for your newsletter and
not long after I cut the ties with her, and I am happier today and date more
interesting, intelligent women than I ever thought possible. All thanks to
your ingenious and selfless hard work and research.

I would say that my greatest problem is that i'm generally a pretty low keyed
mellow kind of guy that doesn't mind going out to clubs but would far rather
find a few girls that don't mind chilling out at home or enjoying a walk on the
 145

beach, stargazing or hell just wrestling around on the bed. (no pun intended)
lol However if these girls tend to stay homebound for the most part what
sort of venues would you recommend for meeting these types. Door to door
dating perhaps... lol I have also tried the online personals which is where
much of my success come from, but many of these girls you have to look out
for or you could have a bona fide stalker on your hands.(I know this from
experience)Yeah it sucks being a good looking, confident guy huh? This is my
first time emailing you after reading the newsletter for well over a year
now... (yeah I stay busy) but I wanted to tell you what a awesome job your
doing and that it's greatly appreciated from myself and multitudes of others,
not that you didn't already know that; just thought i'd annoy you by
saying..lol OK Dave.. Take care and keep up the terrific work..
God Bless
Lionhart, DE
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, first off I want to thank you for the shameless promotion and over-
hyping of my materials.
I appreciate it...
Next, let's talk about your "wish list".
You "don't mind going out to clubs", but you'd "far rather find a FEW GOOD
GIRLS that don't mind chilling at home or enjoying a walk on the beach,
stargazing or hell just WRESTLING AROUND ON THE BED".
With each other, I'm assuming...
Hey, sounds good to me. Maybe while they're wrestling they'd let you
videotape...and you could start an internet company based on the concept.
Cut me in for a percentage.
And ya know, I like the way you think.
Well, I hate to break the news to you...but if you want to meet women,
you're going to have to do SOMETHING.
The internet-bed-wrestling-make-money idea was a pretty good one...hey,
kill two birds with one stone.
Other than that, you might try out a few of those magical activities that are
 146

interesting, enjoyable, and (BIG AND) also draw intelligent, gorgeous women
like a magnet.
Try an art history class.
Or go to a classy "food fair" or restaurant opening.
Hit a yoga class or a kickboxing aerobics class.
Dance classes are also a big winner.
In other words, there are some great places you can go to meet
women...AND have fun...AND become a more interesting, classy guy.
Who'd-a-thunk-it?

***QUESTION***
I have been talking to this girl for about a month now and I find myself
falling in love with her every time we see each other (every Tuesday Night).
She recently told me that she didn't want to date me yet, because she would
hurt me. She also said that if it is meant to happen it will, and that we
shouldn't force it. My question is how do I get her to realize that it is meant,
and that we should push it, and how do I prove to her she won't hurt me??
Sincerely, -J.K.
 
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I'd say that the FIRST thing you should do is grab a piece of paper and
a pen, and walk into the bathroom right now.
Turn on the light.
On the piece of paper I want you to write the word "YSSUW" on it. I know, it
doesn't make sense... but do it anyway.
Now, hold the piece of paper in front of you, so it's facing the mirror...
almost as if it's a CAPTION for YOUR FACE.
Look at yourself in the mirror.
Let that settle in for a minute.
Now that you have a clear picture of what a WUSSY looks like, move on to a
more advanced maneuver.
Carefully take your right hand, and raise it up next to your face.
 147

Hold it about 12 inches away.

Now firmly BITCH SLAP yourself with it.
Repeat until the Wuss has been slapped out of you...
Dude, duuuuuude.
You are SOOO missing the point here.
She does not want a guy who will prove to her that she won't hurt him. She
doesn't want to be with you because you're acting like a WUSSBAG.
Women aren't attracted to girly-men.
Girly-men freak women out.
Women RUN from girly-men.
The answer is for you to start acting like a MAN... and stop acting like a
GIRL.
You need to get yourself a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques Program
immediately.
This is an emergency. Do it.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi Dave,
I have in my life had good and bad success with women and I just learned to
live with it. I have a very good job im a big guy 6'3" 240 nice build and I get
told a lot that im good looking. So with all that being said I just thought I
would take things as they come. I have always been cocky+funny
naturally BUT I didn't use that on the women that I really wanted always one
ones that wanted me or just girls I work with etc.. Also I wasn't doing it in
the fashion that you teach. I wouldn't use the lines " you know you want me
admit it" or "just say please" those would move the attention to ME and
away from the situation I would think which wasn't what I was after while
doing it. I would always be C+F just because that was me.. I wasn't trying to
pick anyone up lol its so funny thinking back now. Anyway, after reading
your mail bag and book it dawned on me.. WTF was I thinking.. I would have
literally dozens of women chasing me but all of them I didn't want (not cute
or what ever).. but the ones I wanted were like he's cool but what ever..well
 148

this girl that I like is a bartender at a bar I go to every weekend, we joke

play but never date.. I started using the stuff you teach on her as a test
(was in friend zone) and BAM she wont leave me alone said to me today on
phone that she's liking me more and more every day..I said damn your
slow.. everyone else gets it what's taking you so long.. I helped
her tend bar last night and every time she passed me I said loudly "will you
stop grabbing my ass" its like a different girl.
I have lots more stories since ive been using your stuff for weeks now and its
un-real I am able to get laid 3 or 4 times a week now with out even really
trying. (need to rest sometimes) lol. I wasted so much time and im only 34..
oh one more thing to those people that worry about age.. the oldest girl I
was with since I started Dave's stuff was 30 and that's cuz she was a
challenge.. the rest are 22-26 its like magic man.. get rid of your fears and
go for it .
P.S. since I started DD101 I have filled my cell phone book with numbers
and most I didn't even ask, they would take my phone and put it in
themselves.  
J from Michigan
 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, I love getting emails like yours...

One of the great things about the Cocky & Funny (now referred to on
occasion as Cocky Comedy) is that so many guys ALREADY GET IT.
And, just like you, many of us have understood EXACTLY what to do... we
just never did it when we were around women that we LIKED.
I'm glad you're figuring out how all of the pieces fit together...
And thanks for reminding all of us that just because you're tall and good
looking does NOT mean that you're going to automatically get girls...
By the way, put a hat on that thing... and watch out. Use caution, my friend.
You don't want one of those unwanted gifts that just keeps on giving....
 149

***QUESTION***
Greetings David,
I live in small Easter-European country which is by all means
underdeveloped. So, after encountering the ad for your book, I was
suspicious if it is going to work for Bosnian women too. But, after buying and
reading it, I only discovered that the whole story about Bosnian women was
only in my mind. I discovered that after reading about all kinds of fears men
have while approaching women. Those fears take form of the entire set of
reasons only not to be rejected or embarrassed. Anyhow, in brief: After
browsing through the book I started implementing concepts. My address
book is now filled with emails and phone numbers right below the email. I
am constantly going out with girls. And I enjoy it. But the biggest benefit I
derived from the book was: it has instructed me to be a better person and
man. It has also shown me how. So, thank you for sharing your knowledge
with me. I am very much interested in your new publications, should you
have some. And in joining the Buyer's club if you have one, too. Could you
please let me know about these things? Many greetings to DoubleYourDating
community.
It's OK to be a man.  Regards, D
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
 Nice!
Thanks for your email.
I get a lot of emails and questions from guys who ask, "Will this work in my
country?"
Now, I personally don't have a lot of experience in different countries and
cultures... but from what I hear back from guys all over the world who are
using these concepts, they are universal.
Congratulations, and thank you for your email.

***QUESTION***
Hi David
Dave, I can safely say you've changed my life. I was once a 27 year old
 150

virgin, I know, extreme! I had never been on a date, and I had one girlfriend
when I was 17.  And get this, I've been told by loads of women that I'm hot.
The reason for this is my complete lack of confidence, I just had none. I
would get eyed up in a bar, and want to go over, but I just didn't know what
to say!  If I was approached by a lady, I either froze up or shook so much
that everyone in the room thought their cell phone was vibrating! I just got
up 1 day decided to go on the internet and learn!  I really didn't think I
would come across so much rubbish! But I signed up to all the free
newsletters and I used techniques subtly with me female friends! Well as
you've obviously guessed, your tips were the ticket! I bought the book and I
was off... ..
I am now 28, been using your techniques for about a year, year and a half
and I am so happy! I have girls coming out of my ears! I am now dating 3
women (very hot women) and I have 4 that wont leave me alone!
I am emailing you to say thank you, I would really appreciate an email back
if you don't post it on a newsletter, just so I know you've read it, or I might
send it again knowing me! Ok here's the question, I have heard similar
questions so much on your newsletters but this is quite specific and a
'proper' answer would be great, rather than the default one! Right, the one
girl that I want is the one playing hard to get. I've played it cool so far, I
knew her from work but didn't know her very well, she's now left and I saw
her in a club and 'told' her to give me her number! I rang her but her phone
is always off, so I sent her a text message (sms) asking if she fancies going
for a coffee during the week. She replied that she's busy all week and she
said that she has just got back with her ex and if I want to get to know her
as a friend is my decision.
I REALLY like her, and she does not know this (because she doesn't need to
know).  I am still a novice at the game so could you tell me exactly what you
would do and exactly what you would say? please .
Thanks again
 151

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well then... welcome to the world of being an adult man! Exciting. And I'm
glad to hear that you're doing well with the ladies... FINALLY. Now, you want
me to give you a "special" answer to your "special situation".
Let's see... You are surrounded by gorgeous women... and they're chasing
you around like you're some kind of rock star... but you don't want THOSE
women... of course.
Nooooo...
You want the ONE who isn't interested in you... the one who just got back
with her boyfriend. Before I give you a "special" answer, I'd like you to
consider your own situation. Let's be honest, shall we?
Right now you are OUT OF CONTROL. You are not into this girl because she's
actually that "special".
You're into her because she's NOT INTO YOU. If you'll admit this to yourself,
and admit that you're basically out of control in this situation, then we can
make some progress. So admit it. Say it out loud.
"I'm out of control. I want this girl mostly because she doesn't want me...
and it really fascinates the hell out of me... and I can't stop thinking about
it." Just read that out loud. Read it again, just so you hear the words this
time.
Think about it for a minute. You UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF! And it STILL
works on YOU.
That's profound. And by the way, the more you try to "resist" the idea... and
tell yourself that she's just a challenge and you only want her because she's
"special", etc. the worse it will get. So what should you do?
Hit the road.
Say "Next".
Move on.
Walk.
One of the best things you can do for YOURSELF is to get the number of an
unusually attractive woman, then THROW IT AWAY.
Why? Duh.
 152

Because it's a symbol. It's you saying to yourself "I don't need ANY woman. I
can go out and meet women anytime. I'm happy as I am." That kind of thing
will help you, big time.
Now, if you REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to take my advice... and you
want to make yourself crazy some more, here's what to do:

1) Stop calling this girl for a couple of weeks.

2) Call her in two weeks and say "Hey, I have a question that I really need to
ask you... call me".

3) When she calls, say "Yeah, I wanted to ask you why it's taking you so
long to call and ask me out...." Tell her about some beautiful and intelligent
woman you've been dating, and then tell her that you'd like to get together
with her and hang out as friends.

4) When you do see her, JUST BE FRIENDS. Chill out, and give her space.

5) Take the time and energy to actually get to know her as a person. Find
out if she is really the kind of girl that you'd like to be with. Make a list of all
the things that would make a "perfect" woman. Then make a list of all the
things that would be "deal killers". Ask her all the questions when you meet
her... and do it in a "friend" kind of way.

I'd be willing to bet you a dollar in cash that she is NOT AT ALL the kind of
girl you really want to be with. On the other hand, if she IS your dream girl,
lean back and take your time. Bust on her. Tease her. Make fun. Tell her that
you can't possibly understand how her boyfriend could stand her. Chances
are that she won't be with this guy for long, and you will have now
established that she's your dream girl... and you'll be ready to "pounce"
Moral?
Just get on with your life, man. You're talking like a Wuss who's trying to
 153

pretend that he's not.

My Wuss-Dar is going off like 4th of July fireworks.

***COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN***

Hi Dave!
I'm a quite hot 25 year old (or so I've been told many times...) woman who's
been in a relationship for several years & a few months ago my boyfriend
"mysteriously" started receiving your newsletter. Now he says he doesn't
read the stuff with the way he acts I believe him) but I wish he did!!! I have
to say that I'm considering ending my relationship since he's become such a
wuss (he didn't used to be) I greatly enjoy reading your stuff and to all the
guys out there, C & F IS THE BEST WAY TO GET WOMEN, I should know
being one myself. (Also a challenge, well uh... for me, is always very nice)
Keep up the terrific work & maybe one day all women will have great men
B, Montreal

>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'll tell you what... when you do leave the dumb-ass (and you will, I can hear
that you've already made the decision in your heart... and you're just trying
to rationalize it now) make sure and email me again. I can guarantee you
that I'LL READ THESE NEWSLETTERS.

***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
 It is amazing how some good advice and a simple change of attitude can
make such a difference in your life.  I am in my late forties and have been
physically disabled from birth.  (I use a wheelchair to get around.)
Throughout my history with women, I have always been the "friend."  I've
always been a shoulder to cry on and never the face to sit on!  Well, my new
best friend, after reading your e-book, my whole world changed.  I've always
been a little cocky, and humor comes naturally to me. Let's face it, cocky +
funny = Smart Ass, more or less. My concern was getting punched in the
 154

head.  But as it turns out, the women who get what I'm doing, are the ones
I'm attracted to.  If I brought to my home every woman that has given me
her number, I would have time for little else.
I tried to make this one paragraph. Sorry, can't do it.  After realizing that
most women love a bad boy, I became one, saying and doing things I would
never say or do before.  IT REALLY WORKS!  I have no questions for you,
Dave.  I just want to tell the readers of your newsletter to get your e-book,
videos, audios, whatever, and then practice.
Thanks, David.
c. Anchorage, AK

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for your email. I have to say something that's probably not very
politically correct... but here goes...
I've done a few seminars around the USA over the past two years.
Each one has been an experience...
And at each one something VERY interesting happens. When we break for
lunch or break at the end of the day, I always have guys come up and talk to
me. Sometimes one of the guys who come up to talk to me has an obvious
"physical challenge" of some type or another... and it's obvious enough that I
mentally think to myself, "OK, he's going to ask me how to overcome his
challenge with women".
And guess what? MOST of the time, this isn't true at all.
In fact, I would say that most of the guys who have come up to talk to me
who have "obvious" physical challenges say things like "I'm already
successful with women... but I have this one question". It has blown my
mind. My own realization is that the reality of women being attracted to the
INNER MAN is even MORE TRUE than even I thought.
Thanks for your email, and good work.

***QUESTION***
I happen to get two best female friends. How do I choose one?
 155

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Pick the one with the most money.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi David,
I am 50, look good and always got the women I wanted... . but was always
scared sh**less when I wanted to approach a woman I see and wanted to
meet, but didn't know how to approach her. Since I apply your ideas though
my fear is gone. It works like magic.
Till now I am not telling you anything new. But listen what happened a short
while ago. A friend of mine has this daughter who I have known for years.
She is a lesbian (40), so of course we have just been friends. We live far
apart now and she asked me if she could stay with me while on vacation and
bring her 22 year young nubile girlfriend. I agreed and they arrive a month
later. This girlfriend turns out to be a goddess. So I remember your lessons
and I totally bust this girls' balls (Is that the right expression? Sounds weird.
English is not my native tongue). For some reason, although she is lesbian, I
notice that she wants me to find her attractive. But I tell her (her friend is
there too) that she is too young for me, I don't like blonds, bla bla bla. I am
calm and use a subtle smile when I deliver the messages. She goes nuts and
becomes more and more aggressive, because normally guys are all over her.
Logical, because she is gorgeous. But I keep ignoring her and give a lot of
attention to her girlfriend. I treat her like a little girl, who is not really seen
by me as an adult. (Of course I want to bed her, but I don't want to get into
a fight with the other, who is really a good friend of mine. So I dismiss the
possibility altogether.) and Then she comes to me (after a few days) saying
that she never did it with a guy, but that I am the chosen one to  experience
that 'penetration - thing ' that she misses in the sex with her girlfriend. (I kid
you not! ) Her girlfriend is there when she tells me this and her girlfriend
admits that she is also curious and that they discussed this the night before
and want to give me a menage-a-trois. The rest is history. By the way, I use
that line a lot now ('that they are too young for me') with younger women.
 156

They go crazy. And the older the are, the better it works. I even tell 'girls' of
30 this and then they seem to need to show how 'adult' they are, also in the
bedroom. Thanks again for your ideas. It is great stuff. It even works on
lesbians!!!
G.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I can't type. I am sitting in a reverent pose, head bowed to you. I think I
can speak for all fellow men when I say: "You suck, and all men wish they
were you."
Powerful male energy has that effect... and now you have seen it first hand.

***QUESTION***
David,
I loved your book. And I really think that the advice of "the more women
you talk to the better at it you will be" is worth the price of the book
alone. I have one dilemma. My local mall where I live is "the" place where all
the women go, but after years of rejection or faint politeness at best by
doing exactly that over the years, I am so defeated, I cant bring myself to
walk over cold to a female in that mall anymore. I am 44 years old and after
getting the cold shoulder for over 20 Years wherever I go, particularly in
malls, its hard to believe I can get any other kind of result other than making
an ass out of myself. What repulsive vibes I must be giving off! I am a so-
so looking guy, 5'9 170 lbs in decent shape and I approach women from 19-
38 and I cant seem to get positive reactions. And I dont talk like a truck
driver either. I am college educated. Yes I am scared shitless upon approach
till they talk to me, but once they open up, I am so relaxed and funny (not
cocky though) you'd think I was Johnny Carson's son. Anyway, how do I get
my confidence back at approaching women in malls? I sometimes walk into a
dept store and go to the men’s section hoping to see a lady buying
something for a relative that I can ask advice. Or I may go to the ladies
section and compliment her on something she is thinking of getting. Or, I
flirt with the cashier, or one of the sales girls. Sometimes I will even try the
 157

passive approach and sit on a bench and let someone come sit down on the
bench next to me and at least give me a look.! Never works. Not in 20
yrs. I could wait years and Its like I am the invisible man. Rarely is anyone
rude, just apathetic. This has been happening for over 20 yrs. Literally! Ive
even put on a suit and tie so they think I work in the mall and that doesn’t
work. And no, my hair Isnt messy, I have no nose hairs showing, I bathe
daily, etc.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!! By the way, I get the same results no matter where I
approach a women. Ive even tried the personals for 6 yrs and have emailed
over 1000 women and my pic makes me look 5x better than I look in person
and still.......nothing! Also, I am a white guy and most of the women in the
mall are of color, so should I be using a special strategy or something?
What to do?
M.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, remember the advice I gave to the guy earlier, where I told him to bring
a pen and paper into the bathroom?
I think you need to call him... maybe the two of you can go into his
bathroom together... and conserve paper.
Let me get this straight... Sometimes you put on a suit and tie, then go to
the mall... hoping that a girl will come sit next to you on a bench... and she'll
think that you WORK there?
And you think this is going to work magic for you?
We need to talk. First of all, you're whining like a little girl. Second, you're
committing the sin of using only half of the Cocky & Funny formula. In other
words, you probably sound like a DORK to women. Third, you need to go and
make friends with some guys who are GREAT with women, and WATCH them
interact with women in person. Look, if you're not going to use the materials
the way they're intended to be used, why are you complaining? Instead of
putting on a suit, just bang your head against the wall like twenty times a
day...
 158

It will save you a trip to the mall...

Here...
The formula goes like this:
COCKY + FUNNY.
COCKY + COMEDY.
You need to use ARROGANT HUMOR.
Bust balls. Tease with sarcasm. Create some sexual TENSION.
You're not a clown, so quit acting like one. Read my book again, and
try the materials the way I've presented them to you....

***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
This is for all those people who don't believe your techniques work in a
relationship.  I'm 43, slightly overweight, false teeth, don't make a lot of
money and in the middle of a divorce (my second) from a plain looking
woman (I thought she'd appreciate me more) who didn't want a "nice guy"
(WUSS) and took advantage of my "approval seeking".  After I filed for
divorce, I started going on-line looking for new prospects, sticking to my own
age group, using a "nice guy" profile, "WUSS" letters to anyone remotely
decent, and "WUSS" responses to any replies I got. I'm naturally witty with
quick repartee (sexual innuendo and busting are instinctive to me, but never
when I'm in a relationship), but I kept that out because I was afraid of
offending and scaring off any potential females. They usually didn't write
more than two times before disappearing. Your book and e-mails changed all
that.
After buying your book, I took C&F on-line, and it worked so well in my own
age group, that I tried it on a few younger types.  I got quite a few good
responses but kept screwing up by reverting to "WUSS".  I finally met this
one girl, 22 with good looking picture, and decided to keep the C&F going
and see what happened.  After a while, I said I was going to a movie on a
particular date, and if she wanted to she could come along.  And, I didn't
stop busting on her all night, figuring to just enjoy myself because we'd
 159

never be more than friends. She was laughing constantly, and at herself. She
was the nervous one, and obviously attracted.  But I played hard to get. I
turned all her advances back at her C&F, until she practically raped me one
night. She had plenty of boyfriends before me, but they never got anywhere
because of their WUSS behavior, like trying to "buy" her, or proposing after
the second date (one really did).  Until that night I used to call her my
"virgin sex maniac" (she was), because of how passionate she was, and she
loved the nickname. Now I just call her a sex maniac. We've been together 9
months now, and SHE proposed two weeks ago for after my divorce is final
(it's a long bitter one). I made her wait almost a week before accepting. And,
I still bust on her constantly, but always jokingly (C&F) There's some
"WUSS" behavior, like love poems, and going clothes shopping with her.  But
those are things I want to do, not me seeking approval (another change),
and she knows that. I'm not looking for anyone else, because I'm truly
happy where I'm at, instead of scared like I was in ALL my previous
relationships. Your material is what got me here, and it's obvious that it's
what will keep this soon to be marriage from ever becoming boring.
Thanks,
R.O.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
All I can say is that I saw the picture, and your girl is a babe. No question.
You're the man. By the way, as you know, one of my very favorite places to
use and LEARN how to use Cocky Comedy is ONLINE.
Chat is great.
It gives you time to FORMULATE great lines and responses. It's the ultimate
"simulator".
And the great part is that there are literally millions and millions of REAL
WOMEN online who are willing to "simulate" at any hour of the day. Good
luck with the Virgin Sex Maniac.
And thanks for the email.

***QUESTION***  
 160

Dave,
I bought you e-book and must admit it is worth the price plus its weight in
gold. As I read it I kept saying to myself, "Yeah, I already know that. Hey,
why is this guy telling our secrets?" Over 20 years ago, I did the same thing
you did ... I learned from some really good mentors, I tried things and found
out what worked and what did not, and most importantly I learned to
maintain that "NEXT!" attitude.  Oh, I am not going to ask for a refund. No
way! Your book is the best refresher course I've seen. When I consider
wussing, I just re-read it and ... Presto! ... an instant cure. Thanks!!! One
thing that always seems to get attention is a playful look that says "I just
had a great idea!" ... Pop Rocks come to mind!  On a date I bought some
while we were sitting and chatting. As they started to pop in my mouth, I
just raised my eyebrows looking at her and smiled with a devilish twinkle in
my eye, and put the rest of the package in my pocket. Then I winked at her
and said, "For later." Of course, how far this is taken depends on familiarity.
In this case, she was anticipating "trying" Pop Rocks for the rest of the
evening, but I never mentioned them again.
I've been to many different countries, and the general approach you describe
has worked in all of them. It is not a woman's cultural training, but
something more primitive that cocky and funny appeals to in them.  I think it
subconsciously says to them that this man is certain he can take care of
them ... he is not worried, but is so sure of his abilities that he can actually
have fun. I know what you teach works in Europe, in the Orient, in Latin
America and in North America. I could give several examples, but here is one
from the Orient... A beautiful woman met me for coffee.
She rather quickly told me that other men always told her how beautiful she
was and suggested that I do the same. I replied with, "Well,... (pause)...
they are trying to get laid. And you can't believe everything a guy
tells you when he's trying to get laid.... (pause)... Of course you're
attractive. You're having coffee with me, aren't you?"  By the way, she
was late, so I handed her the bill after a delightful conversation about
culture, customs and local history. She looked shocked and I laughed
 161

and said (with a smile), "I'll pay it. But if you are late next time,
don't expect me to be so nice." She would tell me that the things I said
would make her angry, but she just could got bored with the guys who were
telling her how beautiful she was all the time. Guess whom she called
frequently to see if we could go out? Also, she was never late for another
date. We won't go into who got laid and who did not.
=)
Dave, there is a question I have for you. At this time in my life I am enjoying
being single again. Sure, if I met a woman who made me feel that the better
part of me was missing when she was not there, I would be delighted to
settle down.  However, I find that women frequently just assume that a
relationship is serious or exclusive and get really angry when I let them know
that is not the case. I've tried telling them from the beginning that I was also
dating others and I get an I-don't-want-to-hear-about-it reply.  I've tried
explaining that for now, I am looking for anything special, but it seems that
they WANT a relationship, even when they SAY they just want to have fun
and date as friends.  How do you recommend handling this situation?
 R. from all over, but currently living in LA

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, yes.
It's taken me a long time to figure out the answer you're looking for... but I
believe that I've found it.
I personally believe that the "relationship trigger" inside of a woman is tied
to the amount of time you spend with her and/or talking to her on the
phone. If you want a girlfriend, talk to her and see her several times a week.
Her "relationship emotions" will kick in almost immediately. If you want to
date casually, don't talk to her more than once or twice a week, and don't
see her more than about once per week. If you do that, it will eliminate the
need to "have the talk"... because there will be no talk required. No
technique is perfect, but you'll find that this one is as close as they get...
 162

***MORE COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN***

Hey Dave
I love your material. I am an average looking, fun, 27 year old female. I
have always hated those wimpy, clingy guys that want a relationship and to
"please" me before they even get to first base. I have introduced several of
my male friends to your materials and they email me volumes of dating
success stories. For all of your readers that still don't 'get it,' I wanted to
share an example of what not to do. I had begun to frequent a local club and
got to the point that I was comfortable going in alone. After a long day at
work all I wanted was to sit and sip my drink and enjoy the music. If a C&F
guy was to come along then I was open to conversation. What I got instead
was the loser guy that goes from table to table asking women to dance or
just make idle chit chat. I politely tell him that I had a long day and I just
want to sip my drink. Instead of taking the hint he slides in closer to me,
puts both elbows up on the bar and asks what made it a long day. I told him
as nicely as I could that I wasn't in the mood for chit chat. He looked like a
wounded puppy and sauntered off. Exactly one week later I was at the same
place with some friends. Sitting one dance out, the same guy walks up to me
with a killer opening line, "You look bored."  He doesn't get it when I tell
him that I am not going to tell him my name AGAIN, he must have enjoyed
some liquid confidence because this time he was touching my shoulder and
getting right in my face. It took telling him that I was there with someone to
get him to go away.    Bottom line, watch the creep factor. If practicing C&F
then this shouldn't be a problem. Thanks Dave, by improving the dating lives
of men everywhere you are improving the dating lives of woman as well.  S.
in Seattle
 
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, nice.
I wrote a newsletter recently that mentioned the emotion women feel called
"The Instant Ewww".
Well, you've demonstrated yet another way that any guy can make any
 163

woman feel it within moments of meeting.

Thanks for the story...
GUYS! Take note... don't do this kind of stupid, Jack-Wuss stuff.

***COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN***

First, I should say that I enjoy reading your letters, comments, etc. I
definitely think you have some interesting insight on women and dating. I
would like to share some thoughts that I recurrently have while reading your
newsletter. Cocky and Funny doesn't just work on women. I have always
used cocky and funny as a flirting technique and men love it too. I think it
communicates some important things about a person.

1) I am a fun person capable of letting my hair down. 2) I am confident in

myself. 3) For the person on the other end of C&F, assuming he/she
responds well, it says he/she is confident enough to take the teasing and roll
with it. Frankly, C&F is just fun, and people like to be with fun people.  
Also, I have some reflections on the whole "nice guy" thing. When women
say they want "nice" men they aren't lying or misunderstanding what they
want. But, I do think that what women mean by "nice" and what men think
we mean are two different things. When it comes to relationships, I don't
want to be physically or emotionally harmed, cheated on, or stood up, etc.
Basically, I want a partner who is reliable and trustworthy and who shows
me on occasion that I am special, he cares about me, and enjoys being with
me. When it comes to dating, especially first dates, men can take "nice"
waaaayyy too far. Often this equates to "creepy." For instance, a guy once
gave me on the second date an extremely large bouquet of exotic flowers
and a pineapple (?). I would guess the bouquet cost him at least $100, if not
more.
CREEPY. I was already slightly creeped out by this guy because he wanted to
drive one hour at 11pm the day after our first date to see me. When I said
 164

no, he practically begged. I did see him the following day which is when he
presented the flowers. I sent him home an hour later and he did not get date
3. Another guy showed up on the first date with a bouquet of roses, had the
waitress box up left-over iceburg lettuce for me, and told me later that he
was glad he took some time off from college because otherwise he would
have never met me! CREEPY. Guy did not get second date. Another
guy, on the first date, was so concerned about being chivalrous that he
would run ahead of me to reach doors before me and open them for me. He
was so concerned about pleasing me that he would not assist in making
decisions about plans for the date. I ended the date as soon as possible.
These are extremes, but other things include calling constantly and
demanding lots of time from me right away. All of these things come down to
trying TOO hard which communicate to me, not niceness, but a level of
desperation and neediness that makes me worry if I have a stalker on my
hands. I begin to wonder 1) is this guy extremely emotionally needy and will
become possessive and physically scary? 2) is there something really wrong
with this guy that makes him incapable of having a relationship with women
and so he is THIS desperate?
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy men doing nice things for me, but there are
limits. For instance my current boyfriend (in a monogamous relationship)
treated me to an expensive, beautiful dinner and flowers for my birthday.
This was a special occasion for two people who really care for each other.
On first dates there should be no expensive dinners, no expensive gifts, no
extensive flattery, no expression of emotion that shouldn't yet be felt. I also
like to contribute to the date in some way, say purchase coffee at the end of
the evening. If a man is paying for everything, all the time, I begin to feel
guilty, like a mooch. I don't think all women are like this, but I feel
uncomfortable with too much financial and emotional flattery, especially
early on.  A--Florida

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ohhhh... this is good stuff. More of the infamous "Instant Ewww"
 165

phenomenon...
You're really onto something here because I have heard women say "He
gives me the creeps" on MANY, MANY occasions myself.
Yeah, it's worse than most guys think. A little bit of a good thing is a good
thing.
A lot of a good thing too early is the kiss of death...
Write in more often. Love it.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
I'm a guy who has had pretty good success with women.  Im in shape, and
attractive, not shy, and have always had the attitude that if she isn't
interested there must be something wrong with HER. But your materials are
fantastic.  They have helped me have a PLAN so I have been better prepared
in certain situations.  And the entire C/F thing has helped me weed out the
right women. In other words... some women get offended, turned
off to this approach.  GREAT!!!!  If you are a stuffy, too good for everyone,
can't have any fun woman I dont need you OR your attitude. It helps find out
who the fun ones are. Now for how your materials helped me this past
weekend. Im in a college football town and was at a huge tailgate (10,000
people) party that takes place near the stadium in front of a local hotel. I’m
in the hallway of the hotel using my cell phone and see a GORGEOUS girl
sitting on a bench doing the same.  Here’s the dialogue when she gets up to
leave.
Me: "You're going to leave without even hitting on me"
Her: "You need a better line than that"
Me: "That wasn't a line"
Her:  "That was a line and a bad one"
Me:  "For it to be a line I would have had to be interested in you"
Her: Laughs and hits me
Her: "You're a player"
 166

Me: "You're not very smart are you? The game already started and the
players are on the field.  I see...you thought you would meet some athlete
down here, seduce him and hit the lottery huh?
Her: Hitting me again.
Me: Why don’t you try Los Angeles. Kobe's out there
Her: I have to go into the bathroom DONT go anywhere.

This is where it gets Classic. While she is in the bathroom her friend (who I
don’t know is her friend and wasn’t around earlier) sits down on a chair near
me and we make eye contact. I think to myself that if I weren’t waiting on
the other one I would get to know this one.  We exchange a couple of smiles
and that’s it.  I thought about getting an email, but didn’t. so here is how it
picked up with the original girl.

Me: It’s about time. I almost didn’t wait that long

Her: Stop!!!!
Me: Plus I had that girl over there hitting on me
Her: That’s my friend I came with!
Me: Some friend, she tried to steal me when you weren't looking
Her:  (to her friend) Were you hitting on him?
Friend:  Maybe (laughing)
Her: The love of my life and you try to steal him (sarcastic)
Me: I have to get to a private party I’m here for... do you have email?
Her: Only if I get yours
Me:  Only if I get a kiss goodbye.
Her: (quick kiss on the lips)
Me: That’s not what I meant....tell your friend you will be back in about 5
minutes.
Her: (to friend) you going to be here for 5 minutes.
Me:  Follow me!
 167

The rest is private! But again....your information is priceless!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What you have written here is GENIUS LEVEL material. I could write an
entire chapter of a book on this one short story... hell, I might even do that
some day. The one thing that I will comment on here is the amazing ability
you've demonstrated of serving the ball back over the net EVERY TIME she
tried to be a stuck-up, bratty girl.
Most guys would have thrown in the towel at the very first, "You need a
better line than that."
As soon as a woman says something like that to most guys, the guy
crumbles... he falters... he loses his composure... and he's DONE. In that
moment when he loses his balance, she instantly and unconsciously has that
gut-level "Wuss" response... and the door SLAMS shut. Most guys don't
realize that if you can "keep the ball in play", you can turn a situation like
this from "bad" to "WAAAAYYY GOOD" in a matter of a few SECONDS.
I was talking to a good friend of mine recently, and we were talking about
starting conversations with women.
We were talking about that moment when you first start using Cocky
Comedy with a woman... and she says "You're kind of full of yourself... what
makes you think you're so cool?"... as if she's put off by your attitude...
And my friend looks at me, shakes his head, smirks, and says, "Yeah, you
own her at that point".
Now, what did he mean? How is it possible that if you've apparently acted
too cocky... and turned a woman off... that you could "own her"?
Well, it's true.
I was once joking with a friend... sometimes you'll meet a girl... and you'll
bust her balls and tease her so much that she starts to get agitated... and all
of a sudden she snaps into a mode of: "I don't know what it is that makes
you think you're god's gift... but I need to make out with you to find out!"
LOL... it's funny.
Now, like I mentioned before, this is more advanced stuff.
 168

You need to have a good feel for chemistry and sexual tension before you
really try these types of moves with women you don't know.
But there's a very interesting lesson here... A woman doesn't have to
LIKE you to feel ATTRACTION for you. The ATTRACTION happens on
its own.. regardless of other things happening at the same time.
Certain traits and communication techniques trigger ATTRACTION... and if
you know what they are, and how to amplify them, then you can create
results that will literally seem like MAGIC to others watching.
...and if you're reading this right now and you'd like to be one of the few
men on this planet that actually GETS IT when it comes to this "other level"
of communication, then you need to get your hands on a copy of my
Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
It will open up a new world that you never knew existed, and teach you how
to be the kind of man that women have been hoping for all their lives...
And the best part is that women in your life will THANK YOU and
APPRECIATE YOU for learning this stuff. If you doubt me, just read the
letters from women in this newsletter... I'm not kidding.

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi David, I attended your seminar in LA and it was a real eye opener for me.
I've listened to the advanced CD series 2 times since then and each time I'm
learning something new. I've noticed that the trick is to go out and gain
experience meeting more women and then come back and listen to the CDs
again and you'll be surprised how much more you're picking up.  After
attending your seminar I'm now able to start a conversation with a woman in
a bookshop and get her to follow me from there to another location to have
coffee\tea etc, and I'm now able to this on a CONSISTENT basis, something I
didn't think was possible before.
My question to you is regarding and Answering (or not answering) questions
from women. I now understand that if you directly answer 'qualifying'
questions from a woman then you're accepting her qualifying frame,
which is VERY bad for attraction.  But how about questions that seem
 169

like she's genuinely trying to get to know you better? Also how do handle it
when a woman says, "You never answer my questions..." and then goes on
and on about it?  I've had this kind of situation many times, I know it's a
sh**-test but haven't found an effective way of dealing with it yet.
For an example of this kind of test please read the chat below which is an
excerpt from an online chat I had recently.  I met her online but we've
spoken on the phone several times, she lives in a different country from me
so we haven't been able to meet yet, but plan to do so soon.  Not so much
for this particular chick but I would like to know how to deal with this kind of
situation with any chick in future.  Tell me what you think, and if I handled
her questions (and accusations) properly and what I could have done better.

With thanks.
Your loyal student.  G. (London, England)
Good initial C&F conversation, then she asked the question] . .
Her: how many girls have you met from online so far?
Me: 5000
Her: it's a minus, that u never answer to my questions
Her: but it's true, that u never answer to my questions
Me: really?
Her: hm...... every time I ask you something about u....you just answer with
a slapstick something
Me: You know my name, where I live, my age, where I had the craziest sex
etc etc
Me: you want more?
Me: wow! there are greedy people in this world
Me: still there?
Her: yes.... I was just thinking what to say
Me: aha you're lost for words
Her: I don't want you to get me wrong here......
Me: shoot away!
 170

Her: but I have the impression that you don't want to talk about your
outlook on relationships....
Her: that sounds weird
Her: are you dating somebody right now?
Me: outlook on relationships?
Me: is this a marriage proposal... you've got to be rich though
Me: and be able to tell a story for 40 days and 40 nights
Her: here it comes again..... no, I'm just interested in getting to know
you.....
Me: I like to get to know u too
Me: of course you've got to be a great story teller
Me: then the marriage will be ON
Her: so, then why is it so bad to ask maybe how long your longest
relationship was... or when u did get out of the last one....
Me: you think it's bad?
Her: I really love fooling around and chatting around....but I don't like it if I
never get answers to just normal not indiscreet questions
Me: Indiscreet... hmmm.  Ask whatever questions you want
Me: you'll get to know me as it goes
Her: I already did.... and I don't have a list to write that down.... I just
noticed that... last time when you called me on the phone... and today,
too...... every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick answer
Me: don't mind me that's how I talk. I'm playful but we'll get to know each
other as we go along
Me: it’s a natural process
Me: you can't force it
Her: hey..... now you got me wrong..... see I didn't want that
Me: want what?
Her: that you get this message the way you got it..... I'm not that needy and
I don't want to force anything.
Me: cool, I like that...
Me: needy people scare me  
 171

Me: I know you're not needy

Me: so when are u thinking of coming?
Her: I told you.... it would not be possible before march because in Feb. I'm
on training... and work... and will have no (NO!!) day off the whole month
Me: working all month, not even free for the weekends?
Her: no....
Me: what training is it?
Her: especially not the weekends..... from march on I will have a little bit
more time (especially the weekends)
Her: I worked on getting me free time on weekends because I want to have
a private life again one day....
Me: time to go out and stuff
Her: I'm doing my A-licence for aqua-training the next 3 weeks, and then
the last diploma for Pilates
Her: for example
Me: you're going to put me through some steps when you get here
Her: put you through some steps?
Me: workouts... were you thinking of something else... bad girl!
Her: no... I just wanted to know what you want to learn...what where you
thinking about
Me: whatever is nice and easy, anyway we'll see when come
Me: what are you uo to next tonight
Me: up
Her: not much.... watch a movie maybe and then go to bed.....
Me: ok, hope you get better wrap warm.
Me: I've got to hit the sack now
Me: tired from a long day at work
Her: do that.... and talk to you soon.... just have to work 2 hours tomorrow
night.... I need that break, maybe I’ll cancel that, too and stay in bed
Her: nite nite then......xx
Me: good night
 172

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Great job! It's good hearing from you, "G". I remember you very clearly
from the LA seminar... and I remember the breakthrough you had.
Congratulations on getting to the next level. It's exciting to hear that you
can now go out to a bookstore and get a woman to join you for tea on the
spot on a consistent basis. Nice!
On to your questions...
First of all, let's talk about the whole concept of "testing", and why women
do it (and, more importantly, how to deal with it when it happens). In a
nutshell, "testing" is a woman's way of QUICKLY finding out a lot of
information with a very small investment.
You must remember that beautiful women are being approached ALL THE
TIME in one way or another... just about every man they meet tries to pick
them up or come on to them.
Women can FEEL this happening, even before it actually starts. Now, if a
woman is "available", she must figure out a way to "separate the men from
the boys" so to speak, and figure out if a particular man is going to be worth
her time.
Enter the TEST.
Also, if an attractive woman is out on a date with a man, or having a phone
conversation, etc. (or anything else that could be perceived as taking things
to the next level) she must find out quickly whether this particular guy is:

1. Long-term relationship material

2. Short-term "affair" material
3. Friend material
4. Wuss material
5. The Gimp from Pulp Fiction

Keep in mind, a beautiful woman has LOTS of options. She's being

approached probably 100+ times a month with date offers, etc. and could
never hope to spend even a small fraction of her time with all the men who
 173

are interested in her. She must use TESTS to quickly cut to the chase and
find out what a particular guy is REALLY all about.
Tests can take many forms. Here are a few common ones:

1. Canceling plans with little notice, or flaking out entirely without

notice
2. Asking for gifts or favors outright
3. Acting snotty, demanding, dramatic, or manipulative to see if
you'll put up with it
4. Asking or telling you to change your behavior
5. Threatening to leave or take her attention and give it to someone
else if you don't comply with her wishes

...and the list goes on.

As you already know, women often use more SUBTLE tests as well.
For instance, complaining that you don't answer her directly, to see if you
will.
Or telling you that what you're doing is annoying to her. In your email, you
wrote...

"But how about questions that seem like she's genuinely trying to get to
know you better? Also how do handle it when a woman says, "You never
answer my questions..." and then goes on and on about it?  I've had this
kind of situation many times, I know it's a sh**-test but I haven't found an
effective way of dealing with it yet."   ...well, the good news for you is that
you know a guy who has had this happen A LOT more times to him... and
that person is ME!
And the "effective" way to deal with it is to keep doing exactly what you're
doing.
The "problem" here is how you're interpreting the situation.
My guess is that all of the problems you're having around this issue come
from the fact that you "see" it as a problem... not because there actually IS
 174

a problem. Here's a little chunk of the dialogue that you included with your
email...
Her: I really love fooling around and chatting around.... but I don't like it if I
never get answers to just normal not indiscreet questions.
Me: Indiscreet... hmmm.  Ask whatever questions you want
Me: you'll get to know me as it goes
Her: I already did.... and I don't have a list to write that down.... I just
noticed that... last time when you called me on the phone... and today,
too...... every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick answer
Me: don't mind me that's how I talk. I'm playful but we'll get to know each
other as we go along
Me: it’s a natural process
Me: you can't force it
...OK.
The way I read this, you GAVE IN when she started complaining and
said, "...don't mind me that's how I talk...".   You basically said,
"Don't mind me, I'm actually kind of a Wuss, and that's how I talk".
Are you with me here?
You didn't need to EXPLAIN yourself, or make an excuse for yourself.
What I'm trying to say is that YOU are the problem here, not the
women who complain about you not answering their questions.
Try this instead:
Her: I already did.... and I don't have a list to write that down.... I just
noticed that... last time when you called me on the phone... and today,
too...... every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick answer
Me: I'm glad you like it. Maybe that's why you keep messaging me
and thinking about me so much!
<kiss kiss>
 ...see the difference here?
If a woman complains because you're being difficult, LAUGH. Pretend you're
a bad little boy on the school playground, and you just pulled her hair... and
she's upset with you... What would the little boy do?
 175

He'd laugh... and then snap her bra! Keep things fun. Don't let her change
your direction or upset your mood.
You absolutely CANNOT turn into a Wuss and start explaining yourself.
There's ALWAYS a better way to do things.
For example...
Let's say you've decided that the woman you're talking to is really starting to
get annoyed, and you want to give her a little chunk of info. Instead of
saying, "Don't mind me", say, "OK, I'm 27 years old, I work for an
accounting firm, I pay my own rent, I wear socks that match, and I love my
mom... is that better? How boring is that?"
In other words, TELL HER what she wants to know, but say it in a sarcastic
way that also says "Fine, you're boring and since you can't think of anything
fun to talk about, I'll answer you... Brat".
Keep in mind... this whole style of communication is VERY different from
what most guys do... and it's often surprising to a woman. When she kicks
and screams a bit, it's usually because she's genuinely surprised. But don't
mistake her whining for REAL resistance. If she actually gets upset and
doesn't want to talk to you anymore just because you didn't answer her
questions, and instead busted her balls a bit, then let her go. You learned
something VERY valuable, and you didn't even have to marry her to learn it.
Also, when a woman starts resisting your evasive and humorous
comments...
...LAUGH!
Have fun.
You need to learn to enjoy yourself during this process. It sounds to me like
you're letting this stuff get to you... which is NOT useful. By the way... there
was something you said to this girl that I absolutely LOVED...
Her: are you dating somebody right now? [deleted comment that was out of
sync]
Me: is this a marriage proposal... you've got to be rich though
 ...this is great!
She asks if you're dating someone, and you ask her if she's proposing! And
 176

then you said "You've got to be rich, though".

Now THAT'S the right way to answer a question like that one.
Nice!
To finish, I'm going to do something a little bit unconventional, and include
another email that I just received from a guy in Australia (He has the same
first initial as you... I wonder if there's a relation...).
Read this:

"You ROCK,
Since I am new to your publication I am unsure if you get much mail from
Australia. What a difference a week makes. Last Saturday I had a date with
a great young lady. Smart, sexy, beautiful etc. Well the 1st date didn't go to
badly, some passionate kissing and fun, but when it came time to try to take
her top off, the answer was a firm NO. That is where the night ended.
Mustn't have been too bad cause I got a follow up date the next Friday, but I
also got the cold(ish) shoulder. What she didn't know is I got your book on
Wednesday. Wow, what a difference. I realized she was lining me up for the
hoop jumping as a potential "long term relationship" and sex was at least
three dates away-way too far.
She was playing games, but your book came to the rescue. When I phoned
her to make the date, she said "I will PENCIL you in". Well in my old ways
I would have said "Yeah sure", but there is a new Greg with Double Your
Dating Power. When she tried the line I came back with "Well let me know.
I am a busy man, if you can't make it, I need to know- NOW."
When I picked her up, she kissed me on the cheek (after playing tonsil
hockey the week before, was a little strange). So I put your strategies into
play. I didn't touch her for 4 hours, didn't hit on her, didn't look at her, was
very standoffish. Went out of my way to point out her strange behaviour. At
one stage I called her "A walking contradiction". When she went down the
"But it will change our friendship if we take this further (read long term
relationship) path-I said "That's fine, I just want to have a little FUN." When
I finally did kiss her she melted. Only for me to stop after about 45 seconds.
 177

I then didn't touch her again for about 1/2 an hour.  She finally took her own
top off (I couldn't budge it 6 days before) and then she said "I will make you
a deal, if I take a piece of clothing off, then you must take one off as well.
She was chasing me!!!! Well we undresses and had a great time for about
three hours. Afterwards, she invited me out! Love your stuff. Must go and re-
read your wonderful words again. I can't wait to get the DVD's.
Regards,   G.
ps So if any of you want to come over here, know it works and works really
well. And there are plenty of great looking women.  G."
 
>>>MY COMMENTS:
...OK, so I included this story because I wanted to demonstrate a different
aspect of testing, and of "passing" this kind of testing with FLYING colors.
Often, a woman will test you by RESISTING you, or by telling you that
"things are moving too fast" or even by asking you what your intentions
are with her long term (when you've only known her a short while, and have
no intentions of any kind).
What this gentleman above did was to SEE her bet, and then RAISE her.
He called her bluff, basically.
WOMEN LOVE THIS! INSTANTLY shifts the power from one side to the other,
and totally changes the situation around.
Points I'd like to comment on:
1) The first time you saw her, you kissed. When you tried to take off her top,
the answer was a "firm NO".
>>>The reason why the answer was a "firm NO" was because you gave her
something to resist. Instead of amplifying the ATTRACTION in the situation,
and building the ANTICIPATION, you just went for it.
Next time, you'll know better.
2) The second time you saw her, you didn't do anything that even LIGHTLY
indicated that you were interested in her.
 178

>>>Great job! This is perfect. Most guys can't go four MINUTES without
screwing things up by trying to kiss a woman, asking her how she's feeling,
or doing some other Wuss Bag thing that blows everything. You were able to
stay cool and calm for FOUR HOURS... and allow the tension to build.
I guarantee you that she was wondering what the hell was going on.
3) When you finally did kiss her, you STOPPED after 45 seconds... then didn't
do anything else for a half hour.
>>>Again, great move. Perfect. It doesn't surprise me at ALL that she took
her own top off, then told you that you had to take something off as well.
This is what happens when you understand the process by which women
test... and the process by which women become sexually aroused.
  ...thanks for the email.
Now, in this newsletter I've focused on the topic of TESTING. I've also
discussed amplifying attraction, and eliminating resistance from women. The
reason that these two guys who wrote in are doing so well right now is
because they understand something that most guys DON'T understand.
They "get it". And, like most of the people I've met in life who are trying to
be the best they can be, they're always looking to improve. They're
continuing to educate themselves, even though they have a level of success
that most men would envy. It took me about three or four YEARS to finally
"get it", and to have total confidence that I could go out anywhere, anytime,
and meet women. That was partly because I couldn't find any good models
to learn from... and partly because I had to "unlearn" a lot of bad
programming I had obtained along the way.

The reason I wrote my original eBook "Double Your Dating" was because I
wanted to be able to help other guys out there to understand how to be
successful with women and dating... without having to go through all the
hassles and wasted time that I had to deal with.

My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program is the natural extension...

 179

  It allowed me to go "deep" and spend a lot more time teaching the "inner
game", as well as the "outer game" and specific techniques for meeting
and dating women. It also allowed me the opportunity to interview some of
the guys I know who are REALLY good with women... and get them to
share many of the great ideas that I learned from them that helped me
become successful.

QUESTION***
Hey Dave, how's it hanging?
Read your stuff...interesting. Makes a lot of sense to appear different then all
the others. I have one question, however. This C&F stuff (can I call it ?)
really only works on women who are sure of themselves and who will not
take your jokes to the heart. But how many of those are in the world? I
mean, with today's "perfect" pop-stars most women have at least some
insecurities. So, how can you use this technique and not accidentally hit a
weak spot? Is there a neutral C&F approach?
J Brooklyn, NY
>>>MY COMMENTS:

I think you're hitting on an important point here.

I think that a lot of guys "secretly" want to figure out a way to meet women
without RISKING anything.
This is probably why personal ads and online dating websites are so popular.
The problem with not wanting to RISK anything is that it creates a mindset
that leads to being AVERAGE.
And "average" doesn't create ATTRACTION.
I teach guys to use a specific kind of humor that I call "Cocky & Funny".
One of the purposes of the Cocky & Funny technique is to clearly
demonstrate that you are NOT intimidated by a woman, and to INSTANTLY
 180

communicate that you are DIFFERENT from other men.

You'd like to know the magic way to "not accidentally hit a weak spot"...
But guess what?
Accidents happen.
Risk is part of life.
Don't worry so much about hitting a "weak spot" while you're teasing or
busting on a woman... just concern yourself with making sure you're being
FUNNY while you're doing it. If you meet a woman who is so sensitive that
she can't take a joke, or you "accidentally" over do it, don't worry about it.
No biggie.
She's probably either too uptight or emotionally fragile for you to have a
good time with anyway.
If you want to make a cake, you have to break a few eggs, man.
Remember, your objective isn't to be MEAN to women, or to hurt
them... your objective is to use a specific type of humor to create
ATTRACTION.
And give up this "neutral" idea. Neutral is BORING. And Boring is NOT the
way to create ATTRACTION.

***QUESTION***
David "The Man"--
First of all, your Advanced CD Series is THE most definitive exhaustive
resource on dating ever written.  It boggles my mind that nobody ever
figured this stuff out before.  You are the research scientist that broke the
mold of all that bookstore fluff, the Darwin of Dating.
I can now approach and get the email of a woman who would have made me
shake in my boots just a few months ago.  My most recent success was a girl
I dated who I turned up the C+F to the max, but my old inner wussy made a
brief appearance and that was that.  Oh well. "Next!"  I'll get better and
better. I have improved quite a bit, but I'm looking for some guy friends as
you suggest.  However, I'm having a problem finding guys who are good
with women.  I'm not seeing them.  All I see everywhere I go are wusses.
 181

Any thoughts or ideas?

I've also thought about finding friends who are students of yours so we can
get together for team efforts.  Any suggestions here?
Thanks again for the incredible impact you've had on my life.
 J.
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, I have one thought for you...
This "Everywhere I go all I see is wusses" thing can be a challenge. I shake
my head almost every single time I go out, because I think we're in the
middle of a WUSS EPIDEMIC in this country.
Keep looking.
It's worth it.
If you have to, ask friends and associates at work if they know any guys who
are really good with women.
And remember, be cool. Guys who are good with women often like to help
other guys learn. But don't be a boat anchor around his neck...
If you do your homework and find some guys who can help you, it will
REALLY pay off.

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Sir,
I received one of you Q&A emails by mistake, I'm sure. I am an intelligent,
female professional and I reall-ll-ll-lly had a good laugh after reviewing your
web site as well.
If you think that ALL women will be turned on by these things, you are very
mistaken. The classy, sophisticated, and well educated as well as intriguing
and very attractive will have totally different opinions on all these subjects. I
think you would do better to consider your experience as incomplete.
However, I'm sure you are making an obscene amount of money by offering
this misinformation for sale to men.
Laughing Uncontrollably in Alaska
 182

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
An intelligent female professional that lives in ALASKA?
Don't even get me started there...
And since you seem to be claiming here that you're an AUTHORITY on "The
classy, sophisticated, and well educated... as well as intriguing and very
attractive" women... I have to ask you where you're getting this particular
education... Alaska?
Maybe those words mean something different where you're from.
Whatever.
Look, I used to be a "nice", sweet, BORING guy who did nice things for
women, acted respectful, and generally was everything I thought a "good
guy" should be. And my success with meeting and attracting women was
horrible.
I had a few good relationships with attractive women, but these were
ACCIDENTAL. It only happened because I was in the right place at the right
time, and because the women just happened to have NOTHING BETTER
GOING ON.
Now that I do what I teach, I'm able to attract beautiful women whenever I
want. You do the math.
 
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Hey Dave,
I forward your news letter to my ex-husband and to my other male friends
and they all thanked me for it. I agree with all of your advice.  It's kind of
scary how well you read women.  You have also helped me to realize what
I'm attracted to and why. Take care!
S MD
 
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, it's OK for you to admit that you're attracted to ME.
I don't blame you. You forgot to include your picture, dear.
Waiting patiently.
 183

Your friend,
David D.
P.S. Stop forwarding these emails to your Ex. It's bad enough that you love
me... but to add insult to injury for the poor guy...

***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
So, I go into a shoe store the other day and I'm just kind of browsing. The
clerk-- a cutie of age 21--asks me if she can help me. I kindly ask her to get
me a certain pair to try on. As I put the shoes on, she enthusiastically
squeaked, "WOW THOSE SHOES LOOK GREAT ON YOU!!!". I mocked her in
the same hi-pitch tone, "YOU'RE ON COMMISION YOU NEED TO SAY THAT!!"
She gave me that playful little slap on the arm and told me I was "a little
sh**".  I go on teasing her for 5 minutes or so and she asks me if I would
like a job at this store. When she gave me the application, she also hands
me her HOME ADDRESS and phone number and asked me to hand deliver it
that night. To keep it short, that night I gave her more than my job
resume!!!
Now, David, the previous situation is very unusual for me, as I rarely have
much to say, period. I've always been very shy and very quiet but am
starting to come out of that. I'm not scared to approach women or anything
but I just don't know how to start or keep conversation, you know? I've read
books on this, listened to tapes and nothing seems to help. Dave, I need
some advice!!!
DK Indiana

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, nice one!
Great example of how to use Cocky & Funny with a woman!
And as for meeting women, stop worrying about STARTING OR KEEPING
CONVERSATIONS GOING.
Just walk up to women, get their phone numbers, and then get together with
 184

them later for a cup of tea.

No "starting of conversations" required.
Use my 3 minute email/number technique, and then break out your killer
sense of humor later when you're alone with her. You're doing fine... don't
worry about "conversations".
And if you do wind up in a conversation, just start out by talking about
normal things, then transition into the Cocky & Funny material as you
progress.

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I have been receiving your emails for a while now and boy have they been
working. As a matter of fact, I was actually using the C/F all the time,
without even realizing it. For example, In one of my classes there is this girl
that acts weird most of the time (she's a solid 9.5) and one day she was
talking to me, and I just turned around and said to my friend: "Did you say
mental hospital?" I got a shot in the arm for that one. I kept unknowingly
using C/F on her for maybe three days and then after one C/F comment she
replied (with her hand on my shoulder): "I like you, you make me laugh"
then she winked and turned around. I was shocked! I mean, I had basically
been making fun of her. Little did I know that I had been doing everything
right (this was before I started getting your emails).
So anyway, my question. I have no problems meeting women in malls, on
campus etc, but what about online? Are there any C/F comments I can use
to start a conversation? The only ones I can think of are when they have
ridiculous/absurd chat names.
Thanks
A
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, one of the GREAT things about teasing women is that you can basically
GUESS things about them and they'll respond.
For instance, if you're talking to a woman online, and you haven't seen her
 185

picture, you can say: "OK, you're probably some hairy, manly, seven
hundred pound beast... and that's why you haven't sent me your
picture..." (Use this kind of thing when she says that she's a model or
dancer, etc. and it's obviously not even close.) The bolder you are, and the
funnier, the better you'll do when guessing.
Try it, you'll like it.

***QUESTION***
Dave- Whussup Man? Well I'm not gonna waste your time or mine telling you
about how great your teaching and knowledge is, because we both already
know what's up! I'm a 19 yr old who has downloaded your ebook and I've
read about the last 20+ emails.. I'm learning a lot. But I'm not where I want
to be yet.
Well here is what happened.  I had lady friend of mine over to the house the
other night. Now we have been friends for a little while now and I have to
tried in the past to pursue this woman but like a lot of males in the world.. I
would always turn wussy on her. This women is about 5' nothin',
with a beautiful mind and a beautiful body, (she is a 8 or 9 on my scale, and
I'm picky.)*the radio is ON*  We haven't talked in a while so we caught up
on each others lives..had some laughs with the cocky/funny attitude and I
even fixed dinner! Well I told her before I made dinner that when we
finished eating she owed me a 30 min. massage. She said okay. Now, we get
done eating and she tells me to dim the lights and lay down. She tells me
she is goin' to wash her hands and never comes back.. SHE LEFT!!!!!!!
WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
JF from Texas

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
What happened?
You went and spanked your chicken with reckless abandon?
 186

You cried yourself to sleep?

lol... it's probably horrible that I'm laughing at your misery, but hey, these
things happen.
Don't worry about it, man.
Next time, try making something other than "Hamburger Helper" with
rainbow popsicles for dessert. I think you're gonna live. The problem is that
you acted like a WUSSY for so long, that the thought of you being anything
more than a friend made her RUN all the way home.
You created your own problem, by trying to make a girl who was convinced
that you were a Wuss into something more than a friend. It's not easy.

***COMMENT***
Today I met an ex-girlfriend (and now good friend and occasional date) for
lunch at an Indian buffet. This is a woman who has commented in the past
that she didn't like my cocky side (either I wasn't doing it right, or she was
lying), so I was looking for a good opportunity to segue into a C&F routine
and see how it affected her. At one point she complained that the bread was
cold, and that I should go get some fresh stuff...

ME: What's in it for me? [unoriginal line]

HER: I'll stay and finish lunch at your table. Otherwise, I'll go get the bread
and sit over there by myself. [great answer!]
ME: Well, that'd be embarrassing.
HER: Yup.
ME: Everyone in the restaurant would think that you had to move because
you've got real bad gas.

And it went from there. You could see her eyes getting brighter throughout
the conversation, and it ended with:

HER: Wow, you're feisty today...

 187

ME: Yeah, so...?

HER: So, it's really... attractive.
ME [laughing]
Boy, you're easy today...
That's a confession straight from the source: feisty = attractive. And she
went on to demonstrate her attraction after lunch in an unusually aggressive
manner. I think everything you're saying is capital-T Truth, brother.
You know, people assume that Kissinger was talking about political power
being the ultimate aphrodisiac, but I think there are many nuances to the
word "power", and you don't have to be a senator or CEO to exploit it.

Interesting aside: I was discussing this with an insightful female friend, and
she agreed with everything you say, and added that women don't want to be
our mothers... and if we treat them like we treat our mothers (i.e., act like a
wuss), what does that say?
C.K.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Amen, brother. Amen.
Feisty, Sassy, Cheeky, Ballsy... = ATTRACTION.

***QUESTION***
hey dave-lets get to the chase. 2 things (first the success story).. i met this
chick who was getting off work..yelled out "HEY!" and she came over to me..
i started talking about anything and everything to get/keep her attention..
busting on her and all ..she gave me her # after 20 minutes.. But i didn’t
call. then i ran into her again in the neighborhood but this time i did the
same thing "whats your # again?" and then finally i wrote it down and scored
on the second meeting after coffee.. the stuff works bro now for the wuss
part..i meet this chick last summer who was in town for her job assignment
that lasted for 1 month. She’s a real player. We met again after the party
(she called me and said hey im coming over) and within 30 minutes she was
 188

in my bed in her bra/panties BUT i didn’t do anything cause she was

complaining about how guys are such dogs. so I didn’t do anything for the
next 5 meetings. She said "Im glad you never did anything cause we still
wouldn’t be talking if u did". Anyway, last time we meet she invites me AND
4 other guys for dinner. she sits on their laps (just like she did with me) to
make me jealous. We have kept in touch for 5 months and next month she'll
be back for a 2 week visit. i have heard she’s talking to 5 other guys in town
besides me. Whenever i confront her on the phone about these guys she
says "nooo! im not! and I’ve never slept with any of them so ignore the
rumors! who do you believe them or me??!" she called me 1 month ago and
let my phone ring once, and then when i called her back it was a guys voice
(she moved in with her "friend" from high school)
my question is: i told her how i felt about her and she already said she just
wants to be friends because she travels around a lot. She’ll be staying with 1
or 2 of these guys she’s talking to when she comes back and will try to make
me sooo jealous i know it. she called me last week and actually asked me for
one of these guys numbers. I got angry and hung up on her (something i
would never have done before) and then she called me back and actually
seems a lot more interested. Then i called her yesterday from work and told
her that a stripper approached me at a bar and asked me out and then this
girl said "ohh well why don’t you go out with her then?" but then said "OH by
the way I’m coming back on APRIL 21st".. i want to beat her at her own
damn game! but i already gave her so much power. i wish i could just take it
all back and make her feel the same way.
HOW DO I HANDLE THIS GIRL:??? SHES DRIVING ME NUTS!!!
CJ
Houston,TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, this is actually a very powerful story. First, she intimidated you by
telling you that "guys are dogs"... which caused you to not try to take things
to a physical level.
 189

When you did that, YOU FAILED THE FIRST TEST.

She intimidated you with her words! Then, the more you pursued her
without progressing, the more she tested you.
Until she finally started INSULTING you... right in front of a bunch of other
guys!
By the way, when you mentioned that after you hung up on her she seemed
a lot more interested...
it's probably true.
Look, man.... BAIL! Drop it. Hit the road.
You screwed up in the beginning by handing over control of the relationship
to her, and it's not worth the trouble or hassle to try to take it back.
She's probably the type of girl that LOVES to play guys and make them
chase her... and who enjoys seeing how much a guy will do to get her... only
to leave after he does all he can.
Move on.
But remember the lesson. Steer clear of women like this in the future.

 ***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave
For the past 6 weeks I've been hearing...
"You scare me" (said jokingly) "I never know if you're being serious" "You
know what I love about you? You make me laugh..."
... and its all down to you.
Dave, you are "da man", so I just wanted to say a huge thank you and tell
you what happened – all thanks to your newsletters and amazing book I got
in touch with D via a personals web site, we started emailing, and I started
the C&F. The first date was amazing. We went out to lunch - I never laid off
the C&F and she was lapping it up. We went back to her place and started
getting "cosy" (with the comments "I don't normally do this on a first date").
I had to leave for another engagement but she desperately wanted me to
stay!! So I went back on the Sunday and we've been together ever since.
Dave, you have saved another lost soul.
 190

Once again, a huge thank you.

R England

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hey, you're welcome.
Cash donations are welcome, along with large gifts and other favors (no, I
don't want a kiss).
Just make sure you keep doing what worked to begin with, and don't turn
into a WUSSY!

***QUESTION***
David,
First, I LOVE your Advanced Dating Techniques CD program.  Everyone; do
yourself a favor, BUY David's stuff!  It's EXCELLENT!!!  Well worth the
INVESTMENT in YOURSELF!!!
This past Thursday, I was on a second date with this attractive female.  Been
using the c&f on both dates and she eating eating it up.  Anyway, we end up
back at her place.  First, we get there and I sit back on the couch.  She asks
if I want a drink, so I tell her NO.  Suggesting that she is just trying to get
me drunk.  We watch tv for a little bit; then when I was thirsty, I got up and
asked her if she wanted a drink. he said no, so when I went to her fridge and
I asked her what do you want me to bring you back, because I'm not
drinking alone.  After we both finish our first drink, I lean over and pecked
her on the lips. She tried to kiss me back and I told her to settle down and
go get us another drink, which she did.
....Fast forward, after a night of everything, but sex (I didn't have a
condom), as I was kissing her good night (she wanted me to stay, but I was
leaving for a trip Friday morning, so I told her No.)
she said, "I'm going to regret not sleeping with you in the morning."
I smile and kiss her. She said, "Maybe next time."
I said, "Maybe."
Then she said, "or the time after that."  That light bulb my David D. light
 191

bulb went on, this preparedst.

Being prepaid I said, "What makes you think I'll want to have sex with
you next time? Or the time after that?"
She said, "You're a guy and that's what all guys want."
I said, "Maybe I'll only kiss you next time."
She said, "I hope we'd AT LEAST do that."
Driving the nail home that I was in control and she wasn't going to use sex
as a weapon, I said, "Fine, then hand holding it is."
She said, "Hand holding?"
hand-holding, "Yes, you've been promoted to handholding."
She said, "How is that a promotion?"
I kissed her and said, "I'll tell you next time." and left.  Needless to say, next
time I'll score, if I want to.  LOL!!!  Of course I will, because that's what all
guys want.  hehehehe!!!  This stuff is GREAT! I haven't finished cd 10 or 11
yet, but I do have a question about paying?  When is it appropriate to let her
pay?  How often? How do I let her pay without being perceived as a wussy?
Thanks again.  You have changed my life for the better.  I now get it.  Plus,
it's fun to watch the guys who Chicago-land This stuff is VERY POWERFUL,
use it with caution.
J Chicagoland

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Very nice.
Mixed messages, teasing, stepping back, making her feel anticipation
and want it badly... GREAT.
This is a great example of how to handle a situation like this one.
As far as letting women pay...
The whole topic of "paying" is kind of a pain. It has gotten into many
women's heads that if a guy pays it means that he's a "gentleman" and if he
doesn't it means that "he's not".
 192

***SUCCESS STORY***
Howdy, Dave -- I wrote to you about a year ago with what I thought was a
great "Success Story" involving a biker chick.  She was just so hot, and she
came on to me right in front of her biker boyfriend, after I busted on her
about how I thought only good-looking women got to ride on
Harleys. Well, she turned out to be one sick puppy.  Chock full of really
strange mental and personality things.  Well, I kept being C&F with other
women while I was dating this chick – and I'm sure glad I said, "No" when
she wanted to move in with me! Anyhow, to make a long story a bit shorter,
I'm now involved with a 50 year-old 10. Perhaps a 10.5!!  I'm 55, average
looking, divorced x2, definitely not wealthy, etc, etc. I treated this woman as
if she was my "bratty little sister" and after a couple months of banter,
she asked me for a date!  I had not even bought her a cuppa! Anyhow, we
have been dating since last summer, and back around Christmastime, I
started getting wussyfied with her. I saw immediately that it was not the
right thing to do.  She began to withdraw, so I did not call her or see
her for a week. It was tough to pull back and get back to doing the right
things.  (No, I didn't have dreams of you bitch-slapping me!  I got that
vicariously in your emails!!) My point is this -- if it works, keep doing it!!
Don't stop.  And, as soon as you realize you've reverted, AS SOON AS, get
back to right behavior. This woman loves me even more now because I was
able to backpedal quickly.  Pay attention to yourself and what you are doing
and saying, guys!  Don't ever go back to wussiness. Wussy only works with
your mom, and you don't want to date her, do you? Pay attention to yourself
and what you are doing and saying!  Be in control of your life.
Thanks, Mr. Dave. G from Colorado

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Exactly... do what works, and if you start slipping, pull back and then get
back with the program.
Good job, and keep it up.
 193

Thanks for the email.

 
***QUESTION***
Here's a Q for you...I haven't ordered you CD's yet, I've been reading your
emails and taking in the info slowly, but I'll definitely do so soon. On the
issue of being generous....It has always in my nature to be generous of
myself unconditionally with most people I like, but I don't give away my life
just for attention or to "buy" people's friendship, and certainly for a woman's
attention, I have always known that just doesn't work. I come from a family
in which it is natural for us to be generous as a matter of good form, but
never beyond the means available. It's a cultural trait I guess. Being tight
and always expecting a reward for everything is neurotic anyways. Problem
is between women and I is that I have no problem with doing a small favor
for a woman just out of what I feel is just decency. But I don't expect to
immediately jump in the sack with her. It's a paradox for me. Like going to a
club and buying some woman a drink, but not expecting anything in return
except having a good time and just getting along. Maybe it's a good way to
sort out the user/flaky types from the cool and normal types, doing a small
favor and seeing how they react. I've had good results from controlling how
much I will give, and sometimes throwing in some humor like this "O.K. one
drink (sly grin here) but if you start stumbling around I'm not paying your
cab-fare home!", This always gets a laugh and loosens up the woman, and
keeps me in control (I think) without seeming that I'm a sucker or trying to
buy her attention. What is your view on this kind of thing? Oh, another thing
I'll do is _not_ get clingy if I do something like that..in fact I've found that if
I just walk away and find something to do for a few minutes (talk to a friend
or even go to the bathroom or whatever that) right after doing a small favor,
and allowing some "breathing space", that the next time around they get at
ease and usually a good conversation usual starts leading to and exchange of
digits. Do you think I'm on the right track? or os it too "friendly"(read
doomed wuss)?
 194

Thanks C.M.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a great question.
I think that most of us REALLY want to be "good" to women... we want to do
nice things, treat women well, and "take care" of them. I can understand
your generosity mindset, and I actually admire you for having an
"abundance" mentality.
But I'm going to present you with another way of looking at things... one
that might really help you.
What if you thought of "generosity" a little differently?
What if you were to realize that being "generous" with a woman
sometimes means to ACT like you're being NOT generous at all?
What if you were to see that if you were too "generous" at first, that a
woman would SUSPECT that you were only being generous to MANIPULATE
her?
It's not you.
It's that women are so used to men trying to do things for them in order to
get attention and sex in return that they:
1) See this kind of generosity as "average" and expected behavior... and
immediately slot you into the "regular, nice guy" category when you do it.

2) Often see generosity as a form of manipulation, whereby a man uses gifts

and dinners to set up a situation where the women feels that she needs to
"put out" in return.

Lean back.
Be generous LATER, when it will be perceived to be more authentic
and special.
It sounds to me like you're a genuinely good guy. The challenge is getting a
woman's attention for long enough that you can actually SHOW her this side
 195

of you, and have it not come across as "ass kissing" behavior.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
First, let me say how powerful your techniques are. A lot of the methods you
teach have been part of my success in the past; I just didn't realize it until I
started using your various Double Your Dating materials! I'm from
Manhattan, New York; and I work in probably one of the best places in the
world to find unbelievably beautiful women; the "fashion district." In this part
of NYC, their are hordes of models going from fittings to fittings, to photo
shoots etc. Here is a real-world example of your excellent teachings in
action!
#1, when I go out to lunch; I don't go to a fast food joint, I go to a salad bar
(these are very popular in this part of town). The theory being that, I desire
a girl with a great figure, and fast food is not the path to one, so I hit the
salad spots! Recently, I see this very well known model (who happens to
have a major modeling contract with a cosmetics company) at my favorite
lunch spot, waiting on line to pay for her salad.
She is of course an absolute 10, wearing a super sexy outfit complete with
some killer stiletto style heels; so I see my 'in.' I walk up behind her and say
"what is up with those shoes," in *almost* a disapproving way. She
gives a half glance towards me and says in a slightly confused, self conches
way "what, their Jimmie Choo's." Still looking down, I respond "their
sharp." She responds "thanks." At this point, I'm still just not much more
than another guy looking to get her attention, in her eyes. So I respond
"that wasn't a complement, I'm saying that they're SHARP; like they
could be used as a weapon!" She responds with a big smile. At this point,
the woman at the register says "next! [we both walk to the register] Are you
together" I quickly respond "no-way did you see those weapons she
calls shoes?" this don't even make complete sense, but that's the point! I
make sure I pay first (cutting ahead of her), then as she starts to pay for her
order, I say "I'll tell you what, if you promise to keep your shoes on
 196

the floor, I'll LET you have lunch with me today." After that c&f
comment she had this really confused look on her face like, who the hell is
this guy to talk to me like this? Notice DYD-ers, I didn't even act like I knew
who she was. As a matter of fact, to this day I never play into her
fame/success AT ALL!
To keep a long story from getting any longer, I got her email that day at
lunch, and now we have been dating for three months! I cannot thank you
enough Dave, for showing me the errors of my ways, and helping me date so
many beautiful girls.
G from Manhattan
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, models.
The object of desire for so many men. And what do most guys do when they
run into a woman who is of "model quality"?
They get nervous, act stupid, and say things that sound exactly like the
other 47 guys that she has talked to that day...
Beautiful women are some of the VERY BEST people to bust on.
Think of it this way:
Her beauty (and in your case, fame) is her weapon.
It's where her power comes from.
When you approach a woman like this and immediately acknowledge her
beauty, you also say, "I see that you are powerful, and I'm one of those who
your power affects".
On the other hand, when you totally disregard her "outward beauty" and
instead start making fun of her, teasing, and enjoying yourself, you instead
say, "I am the powerful one, and your beauty magic doesn't work on me".
This has an INSTANT effect.
It separates you from 999 out of 1,000 other men that she meets.
And if you're CHARMING and FUNNY as well, it just says all the right things.
Great job, and congratulations on finding a beautiful woman who you enjoy
enough to date on an ongoing basis.
...and if you're reading this Mailbag right now, and thinking to yourself,
 197

"Man, I need to start learning this stuff and get this part of my life
handled..."
...then YOU'RE RIGHT.
There's no better time than the present. Here's an interesting thought... At
one of my live seminars, I met a guy who owns my Advanced Dating
Techniques program.
Get this:
He told me that he has listened to the CD version of the program 13 times
now. 13 times!
Why do you think he's listened to it so many times?
Because he still learns NEW stuff EVERY time he listens to it. So what am I
trying to say here? I'm trying to say that it's JAM PACKED with incredible
information.
My Advanced Series was actually recorded at a special 3 day seminar I did.
It was then edited down to a tight presentation (over 12 full hours), and
released on CD and DVD.
It's me teaching all of my very best stuff.
I don't hold anything back, and I have the time to explain all of my concepts
in detail... with examples and step-by-step techniques for each of them. This
is the best program you'll find on meeting more women and getting more
dates, and I highly recommend that you check it out.

MOST MEN ARE DEATHLY AFRAID...

Most men don't know the FIRST THING about how to take things to a
"physical" level with a woman.
Here's why: Let's say you've been out on a date with a woman, and you're
now back at your place, having an enjoyable conversation. You look over at
her. She looks back at you. You want to kiss her. She KNOWS that you want
to kiss her. You know that she is the one with all the power. If you try to kiss
her, and she pulls away, she might reject you forever. If you DON'T try to
kiss her, maybe it will happen later, or maybe she'll even kiss you... The risk
of being rejected FOREVER is so powerful and creates such fear that you
 198

decide to just "walk away" from the situation and hope something happens
later. Or, let's say that you've been out with a woman a few times, and you
have just kissed her for the first time. You know that she's enjoying it.
She knows that you want her. You'd REALLY like to do more, but you're
afraid that if you try, you'll be seen as "moving too fast", or even worse... a
"pushy pervert". You hate the idea of being rejected after you've invested all
that time and come so far...
So you decide to stop and hope that maybe things will "heat back up" later.
 WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE
If you really stop and think about it, the reason why you run into problems in
situations like these is that:
1) You don't understand exactly what turns women on.
2) You are afraid of rejection.
3) You don't know what SHE'S thinking, so you hesitate.
I honestly believe that most men CAUSE their own problems and resistance
when it comes to "getting physical" with a woman. Yes, you read that right...
MEN are the ones who CAUSE the problems.

  It's not the woman!   It's the fact that you don't understand the situation,
what's REALLY going on, and how to proceed.
 WHAT WOMEN WANT... BUT WILL NEVER TELL YOU Here's a little secret
that most women will NEVER share with you...
SHE KNOWS WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND. Women can tell what you're
thinking! If you want to kiss her, but you're nervous about it, SHE KNOWS.
If you're kissing her and want to do more...
SHE KNOWS.
And here's the KICKER: If you're afraid of her rejecting you, SHE
KNOWS.
Really.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES as good at men when it comes to
reading and interpreting subtle body language, and THEY KNOW WHAT
WE'RE THINKING.
 199

Let me correct myself... slightly. They know what MOST men are thinking.
If you understand the dynamics of how and why women become sexually
aroused, then EVERYTHING CHANGES.
Now, let's talk a little bit about the topics of RESISTANCE and REJECTION.
Here's an interesting thought:
In their book "Sexual Interactions", Albert and Elizabeth Allgeier mention
that in one study almost 40% of women reported refusing sexual intercourse
when they actually WANTED it. They call this "The token no".
So, what's going on here?
Hold on... one more thing before I discuss this, I want to point out that this
DOESN'T mean that a woman wants a man to force himself on her. NEVER
force a woman to do anything!
Here's what's going on...
Women enjoy ANTICIPATION. Anticipation leads to sexual arousal.
Write that down...
...on your forehead.
You need to remember that women like the idea of WANTING and
EXPECTING what's going to happen.
The reason why a lot of women say that they don't want to sleep with men
even when they do is because the man doesn't GET IT.
Men act like they would enjoy it if a woman just took off her clothes and
said, "Let's do it."
Women act like they want a man to chase them around all night... and then
MAYBE do it. Maybe.
So if you want her to feel more turned on, and to get less "resistance", then
USE ANTICIPATION.
I have a technique that I teach that's called "Two steps forward, one step
back".
This is a way to INCREASE a woman's sexual arousal and AMPLIFY the
ATTRACTION that's already present in the situation.
Here's how it works: Let's say that you're talking to a woman at your place,
and you start holding her hand.
 200

After a few minutes, take your hand back and STOP.

Lean back.
Keep talking.
A few minutes later, reach over and take her hand again... and keep talking.
Then, lean over and kiss her (use "The Kiss Test" as described at my website
and in my "Double Your Dating" ebook).
After you've kissed her, STOP.
Lean back again.
Keep talking.
A few minutes later, reach over and kiss her again.
This time, kiss her for a little longer.
Kiss her a little deeper.
Then stop.
Lean back.
Smile.
ARE YOU WITH ME?
When you use this technique, you will be absolutely STUNNED at the results.
First of all, it completely changes the situation.
Instead of a woman RESISTING you, she'll be MUCH more likely to try to get
you to DO MORE.
She'll very likely be confused.
She'll be thinking to herself, "What's going on here? Most guys try to push
themselves on me, or they don't do anything at all. This guy seems like he's
so in control of himself. And I keep getting more turned on. Maybe I should
tell him that we're not going to sleep together tonight. But this is so great..."
And the best part of this technique is that IT'S WHAT WOMEN WANT YOU TO
DO!
Of course, they'd never TELL you this. And even if a woman COULD explain
it, she wouldn't WANT to tell you. Women want men who ALREADY GET IT.
I want to mention a couple of more important things. First, if you want to
even GET to the point where it's time to hold a woman's hand, kiss her, and
get even more physical, then you MUST understand how ATTRACTION works,
 201

and how to make women feel that powerful emotion.

If you don't, then knowing all the fancy techniques in the world won't help
you.
It's also VERY useful to understand what to do AFTER you've kissed a
woman... the details of how to do OTHER, more INTIMATE things.

Stopping A Woman On The Street

 >>>SUCCESS STORY:
Hello, I just bought your book today and I have to admit it was the
best choice ever. Before I bought your book I was the shy "nice" guy
who would always try to cling on girls and hardly ever talk to any and
was always wondering why I couldn't get any phone #'s or dates. I
have been dateless for 19 years and I just finished reading your book
tonight. Well I went out and tried some of the techniques and I have
to admit it worked like a charm. I saw this girl (looked like a model) I
went up to her and said hi, (never done before) and she was like hi
and kept walking. Then I threw in this remark "what did my good
looks really scare you that badly? (I am an average looking guy
and I knew this)" This stopped her in her tracks and she actually came
back and was like "What did you say "I was like "Did my good looks
really scare you away" and she said "I guess that was it, do you
want to grab a table and talk a bit?"
Then we talked for around 20 minutes then I looked at my watch and
said look at the time I have to get going. She said "already but we just
started". Then I said well how about you give me your e-mail
address and I can contact you when I have some time. She told
me she didn't have an e-mail address so I asked for her phone
number and told her I would only call her about 3 times every day.
She laughed and gave it to me and I said will I be able to get a
hold of you on this number? She said yes and even showed me her
cell phone number. It matched so I was like I will call you
 202

sometime towards the end of the week and maybe we can meet
up and develop our "Friendship" a little more. I walked away
leaving her speechless.

> >>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, first of all, you get a GOLD STAR for being a MAN OF ACTION.
With this little story, you've shown me that you UNDERSTAND what
you're learning... and you possess an important quality: Willingness to
TRY THINGS. I thought that it would be interesting to talk about the
psychology of approaching and meeting women that you don't know.
Your email was a great introduction to this topic, as it included several
subtle twists and turns that make for interesting observation and
analysis.
Listen to me talking about "observation and analysis"... I sound like
some kind of freakin' smart guy.
Whatever.

>> OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #1:

First you walked over and just said "Hi"...then, when she kept walking,
you said something that was both Cocky & Funny, and PRICELESS.

You said: "What did my good looks really scare you that badly?" Now, the
fact that you're an average-looking REALLY makes something like this
work. With one comment you actually communicated more than
most guys communicate in HOURS.
You effectively said "I'm not intimidated by you, and, in fact, I'm so
comfortable around beautiful women that I can make funny comments
like this one...".
Beautiful women walk around in the world surrounded by BORING,
needy, approval-seeking guys. These guys are NOT appealing to women.
When someone shows up and actually demonstrates some HUMOR and
 203

some PERSONALITY and some STRENGTH, it really stands out.

>> OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #2: After chatting with her for a little
while, you said "I have to get going". What would most guys do in a
situation like this one? Of course... they'd cling to this girl like peanut
butter sticks to the roof of a dog's mouth. And what would she do?
Right... she'd RUN. By breaking off the interaction yourself when it was
on an UP NOTE, you made yourself FAR more attractive to her.

>>OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #3:

After you got her number, you said "I'll call you at the end of the week
and maybe we can meet up to develop our friendship a little more".
Beautiful. What would most guys have done?
Right... they would have said "Hey, maybe I can take you out on a date
this week... how does that sound?". In other words, they would have
basically communicated that they were needy Wussbags instead of
communicating that they understood the situation and what they were
dealing with.

And, of course, they probably wouldn't have had a chance of seeing that
woman ever again (except in their one-handed fantasies).
I LOVE IT WHEN GUYS TAKE ACTION!
Love it! I'm proud of you, man.
Someone come over here and give me a hug before I start crying. Again,
you get a gold star. One more thought...
I think that most guys would read a story like this one and say "That
sounds like B.S... that would never work". Well I'll tell you something... I've
seen things like this happen so many times that I can't even count them
anymore.
I have one friend who I personally saw get 25 different women’s phone
numbers over the course of one weekend. The amazing part is that he and I
were in an educational seminar the entire weekend...
 204

In other words, we were busy MOST of the time... and he got those 25
phone numbers during breaks and evenings. And I'd say that it took him an
AVERAGE of about 5 or 7 minutes to get each one.
It blew my mind.
Is this guy rich? Does he look like Brad Pitt?
Nope.
You wouldn't even notice him if he walked in front of you. Would you like to
hear him talk about how he stops women on the street and gets their phone
numbers? Good, because there's an easy way for you to do
it...
It JUST SO HAPPENS that this particular guy is one of SEVERAL guests that
are featured on my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program. He
actually shares and DEMONSTRATES how he stops women, starts
conversations, and gets numbers...
all in step-by-step detail. Of course, this is one small part of my program.
And he's only one of several different amazing “specialists” that are featured
on it. You'll literally learn everything from how to
overcome your fear and shyness to how to give a woman a “million dollar"
date experience for under TEN BUCKS... and HUNDREDS of other
strategies and techniques. I can't say enough good stuff about it... and if you
read some of the feedback that I've gotten on my website, you’ll see that
others agree.

And you'll notice that the guy who wrote the letter featured in this newsletter
started off with "I just bought your book today...".
That's a hint. If you haven't downloaded your copy, then you need to do that
IMMEDIATELY.

How to Start Conversations with Women

***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave-
What's up buddy? Once again you have done it. The C & F routine works like
 205

a charm. I've been getting your newsletters for a while now and all
of the advice has been great. I've been meaning to get the book, but I'm a
poor-ass college student (any contributions out there to my book fund?)
...I'll eventually pick it up in a game of pool sharking or something...
Anyway...one success story here...
I went out with my friend a couple nights ago (easily a 9), and I've known
her since HS. When we got to the club, I POURED ON the C & F. At one
point in her conversation, she told me she was out of smokes. Now, instead
of doing the "wussy" thing, which would be to go buy her another pack, I
said "There are plenty of girls in here who will give me some" (That works on
so many levels).  So, I left the table and went up to five different girls and
got two cigarettes from each (one for now, one for the road). Nonetheless,
my friend was set aback by the whole thing, and said that she didn't know I
was such a ladies man. I said something like "Just giving the public what it
wants". She started to get so competitive with me, that she decided that she
needed to get some random guy's number (maybe for self confidence issues,
whatever...). So, while she was doing that, I decided to step it up a notch.
While she was taking the time to get one number, I proceeded to get THREE
numbers from three different girls, using the C & F routine (hot damn, it
works!). She came back to me, and without saying anything, showed me the
number.  I countered and showed my three numbers. Nonetheless, at this
point she was so crazy jealous over me, that we ended the night @ my
place. sweet...  One last comment...
Dave, you talked about Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in your one of your
emails...and it got me to thinking of different examples of C & F. I found
the PERFECT one the other day. Tom Cruise in the movie Top Gun. If you
haven't seen it in like 10 years like I had, rent it again...NO --- BUY IT!
It is the perfect example of what to do. He's cocky and funny (obviously).
Look at the scene in the bar when he first meets the girl. Seemed like
he "crashed and burned" until he went into the ladies room and approached
the girl. Also, he is the master of ANTICIPATION. How many times did he
leave the girl hanging in the movie? Like 5 times??? Excellent. It works.
 206

Now, we may all not look like Tom Cruise or fly a F-14 or whatever, but I
guarantee you that if a lesser looking man would be cast in that role, all
the women would be screaming in ecstasy the same way...since the C&F is
there.  
Thanks Dave – take it easy bro.
D from CO
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
NICE!
You have demonstrated an understanding of the PRINCIPLES that are
involved with this whole "psychology of women and dating", and for that you
get a gold star.
 *
You like it?
This is what you call "all good all the time", and it shows how you took the
situation that was in front of you, and used the resources around you
to dial up the sexul tension.
Yes, I actually mention the bathroom scene in Top Gun as an example of
being Cocky and Funny.
It's an interesting scene, because to the uninitiated, he comes across as not
doing well. Of course, if you understand the dynamics behind sexual
attraction, you understand that by keeping his cool and boldly going where
no man has gone before (into the lady's room after her) he comes
across very powerfully.

I think your quote of "Just giving the public what it wants" might be one of
my favorites of all time. I may well steal it and take credit for
thinking it up on my own, I like it so much. Would you accept a small royalty
on it for each use? -
Love it!
 207

 ***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
I must admit, I knew this stuff would work, but I had no idea how well.  I am
a 37 yo divorced man, a little unsure around hot women, always have been
funny, needed the cocky. I wasn't getting a lot of attention until Saturday
night. I was eating supper at a very nice hotel bar, when a very
classy, very hot lady sat next to me.  I was reading the paper and she asked
if she could see some of it. I looked at her sort of reluctantly
and said, "Well, I'm done with the sports section, but you have to
give it back."  Then I turned away and continued reading.  She tried twice
to start a conversation, to which I responded shortly.  Then I turned on the
C/F thing full bore!  Within 10 minutes she was touching my leg, and telling
me all about her life!  She literally was eating off of my plate!  I asked her
what I was going to get in return for the food she ate, and she turned beet
red. I told her she couldn't back away, she had already eaten it! To wrap up,
we went to listen to some live music, she asked me what I wanted to do, I
told her, and we spent the rest of the night, at her place, doing those very
things!
Dave, she was WAY out of my league, I mean a high priestess in the shrine
of fine! This was a night for the archives, and I have to give you credit!
TW in NC

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
A HIGH PREISTESS IN THE SHRINE OF FINE!
Take me to church my man and preach me the gospel.
You have provided a PERFECT TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE (my textbook, of course)
of how to use Cocky and Funny with a woman you've just met.

Here are a couple of high points for me:

1) When she first sat down, you basically paid no attention to her at all, and
in fact, you gave her a little bit of a hard time by only giving her a
little of your paper and telling her that you want it back. This is EXACTLY THE
 208

OPPOSITE of what every other guy she meets does, and I'm sure that
it set you apart instantly as a man who ISN'T NEEDY.

2) Only after she tried to make casual conversation TWICE with you did you
proceed. This creates a great position for you, because she's now subtly
pursuing you, and if she starts being sassy about you teasing her, you can
always say "Hey, I was just sitting here minding my own
business and you keep trying to talk to me" in a sarcastic tone. The magic of
a line like this, by the way, is that it's MOSTLY TRUE, and it's also
VERY FUNNY.

3) Only after she "succeeded in getting you to talk to her" did you progress
into the Cocky and Funny... and it was a situation that lends itself to
"conversation". Nice.

4) You made a nice, yet subtle move when you asked her what you were
going to get in return for the food she ate... This works so well because she
obviously ate a small amount off of your plate, so it's ridiculous to assume
that she actually owes you anything. The comment is powerful because it is
FUNNY as well as SUGGESTIVE.

You're another hero of mine. I'm going to get a shirt made with a picture of
you on it - if that's OK.

 ***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hi Dave,
Since you always seem to be tickled pink about getting responses from
women I thought I'd drop you a line. I've gotta confess that I have been
reading your mailbag-emails for about a month now and think most of your
"research" is really quite amazing. You've nailed a lot of stuff and I've really
enjoyed reading about it.
Some of it I read and to think, to quote someone else, "DAMN, that's what
 209

he was trying to do."  It cracks me up to know what guys are up to, it's so
cute to know that they're trying. Still other parts of it I read and wonder how
some people cannot grasp or understand the concepts... maybe
some of it comes naturally to me. I mean, who doesn't like to be teased,
flirted with and stimulated?  The c&f routine works just as well for me as
guys I think because so many guys (at least the ones I know) expect women
to be flattered and taken by surprise when they spring
the c&f routine on them. When I started countering them with my own
version, we would end up having a blast.  We would end up talking for hours,
laughing and discussing anything and everything under the sun - it was
exciting, intelligent, and just plain fun talk. I remember one newsletter
where you said your techniques are for "picking girls up"... but you didn't
specialize in longer lasting relationships.  I started thinking...
maybe when you can BOTH create the kind of attraction you're teaching, the
result is not just a couple dates but a great (longer lasting) relationship. The
guy c&f routine seems incredibly one-sided to me... yes it gets you guys hot
dates and sex and whatever you're looking for lol, but
don't you eventually get bored with women simply laughing at your jokes
without being able to keep up the banter themselves?  I know I would. I was
just curious what you or other guys had to say about this. Meanwhile, keep
up the great "counseling"... a lot of guys I know have benefited from your
advice and have become a lot more fun to hang out with! You rock ;)  A fan,
A.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, it's humbling to me when a smart person writes in and says something
better than I could say it... ESPECIALLY when it's from a woman who is
sharp, articulate, and obviousl loves my stuff.

The thing that really struck me about your email here is that you said "It
cracks me up to know what guys are up to, it's so cute to know
that they're trying."
 210

You totally get what's going on, and in fact, you see this situation for what it
is... guys learning how to be more attractive to women so that women will
actually feel more attracted to them. And it is charming in its own way.

  And you understand how much more FUN it is to be around a guy who:

1) Isn't a total WUSSY.

2) Has a sense of humor.

3) Knows how to keep things interesting by being unpredictable, charming

and slightly too big for his britches.

And you've pointed out something that's been hard for me to put into words,
but now I have it...

If a woman isn't sharp enough, funny enough or together enough

emotionally to deal with a man who's being Cocky and Funny, then she's
probably not going to be very interesting in a long term relationship either.
My personal experience is that women who CAN'T sense what's really going
on or who get upset and take things too personally, often have major issues
and can't relate very well at more intimate levels either.

And why would you want to be with a woman who can't keep up with you for
the LONG term?

Thanks for the great email.

..and how many times do I have to say this... if you're a sharp, attractive
woman you MUST SEND PICTURES WITH YOUR EMAILS TO ME... One each in
casual, formal, and bathing attire, from three main angles, plus profile shots.
 211

Also include daytime phone number as well as email address. Nice.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Aloha David,
Okay i am a women and well i love receiving your news letter. It not only
helps men but it helps women too. See i am 21 and i never went to college
instead i started a business and it is very successful on this little lava rock i
live on. I own a car shop and a drag strip. Weird isn't it women doin that sort
of thing. Well anyway i have always been a tom boy. My guy friends call me
a man in womens body. The weird thing is God gave me to a womanly body.
Try like a 36-24-36... Well anyway in high school i dressed like a complete
boy i never wore a dress unless it was prom. I
never wore make up unless i had to do a show or if it was prom. I was on my
high school football team. Well now i dress more womanly i still dont
wear make up. But i still hang out with yuh know the boys. Now i would say
that 90% of my friends are guys. Because i love sports, i am not
emotional, i dont cry, i love to camp, and well I drink beer and i love it. Well
all my guy friends have suddenly gone mushy on me and i didn't think of it
as anything in the beginning when they would ask me to go out to dinner.
But now most of them are like how can i say this... in love with me... most of
them have told me that they love me and I am like the dream girl... blah
blah... but now my question is... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO?????... I want
them as my frens not as lovers... i am not ready for that... they know i have
been engaged before and that he hurt me really bad. But is there anyway i
can let them down nicely without hurting our friendship... because i love
them just in a brotherly way... Thanks man...
L, Hawaii

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, I have a PERFECT idea. I think that you need to tell them that you are
already involved with a guy, and that he's very charming and lives
in California.
 212

I will agree, as part of this arrangement, to have you fly me to Hawaii

quarterly to "pose" as your boyfriend and demonstrate that you are, in
fact, involved.
I will stay for one week, be seen with you at all the Island Hot Spots, and
allow you to purchase dinner and entertainment for us (plus pay me a small,
nominal fee for my "services").
I don't usually like to get involved with women who are 21 and have athletic
"womanly 36-24-36" bodies, but in your case I will make an exception this
ONE TIME... because you are in such a time of need.

...OK, the reason that I've included your email is because...

IT ROCKS!
...Oh, and because I wanted to point something out about how guys behave,
and how women see it.
Most women intuitively know that every single one of their guy "friends"
would jump in the sack with them with 3 second's notice.
In fact, most attractive women believe that EVERY GUY THAT EVEN TALKS
TO THEM WANTS THEM, and that any guy who they've even SPOKEN WITH
would get in bed with them if the opportunity was there.

"Cool" women like yourself, who have several cool guy friends and are
successful, independent and attractive, have so much opportunity that it
ACTUALLY GOES FROM BEING FLATTERING TO BEING OUTRIGHT
ANNOYING.
For you there really isn't an easy answer. You're just going to either have to
invite me out there to pose as your man or learn how to cope with "guy
friend puppydogitis" (You should invite me, it would be so much easier).

But for any guy who doesn't realize this, it's a big lesson.

Remember that most women think you want them. So don't act like you
want them at the very beginning. Lean back, give her space, and use the
 213

techniques you're learning from me to amplify the attraction and tension so

she is OVERCOME with the emotions that lead to you and her getting
together.
Don't be another "guy friend" who's "fallen for her".

 ***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
Success story:
I spend alot of time at a specific beach bar, somewhere in the
mediterranean, and I've had very satisfying results following this: I bust on
the waitresses and attractive female bar tenders, but never ask for their info.
I keep going hot/cold on them. Example: I promise (jokingly) that I will
never forget her all my life if she fixes me the PERFECT drink, and, of course
the drink is never good enough and forget them at once. Then when they
say hi, I go: Who are you, anyway? can't a man have a peaceful moment
sitting at the bar without a girl coming over...etc. So, having this C&f
interaction with the staff, REALLY helps when I talk to other girls I meet on
the spot, who sense that the staff is already attracted, and try harder for my
attention. This has worked fine.
Question: (well more than one)
1. Sometimes girls seem to get genuinly upset when I am aloof and
indifferent. They talk sourly when I (finally) address them, and ask "what do
you want from me?"
2. What about calling her the day after sex? They also seem totally pissed off
if I don't call/talk/SMS them the day after. they seem particularly sensitive
about that. Any comments?
3. I know that you prefer email to direct phone calls. Well, not many people
have email over here. Every body has mobile phones though. Does
SMS do the same as email? I personally have not concluded which works
better, phonecall (to a mobile phone) or SMS
Any comments on the above would be GREATLY appreciated.  MC
 214

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
I love your examples of Cocky and Funny. Very nice.
To answer your questions...
Yes, in the real world, sometimes a woman will get upset because you're
indifferent, or because you make fun and bust on her... it happens.

It's sooo hard for men to see that some women just aren't going to
be right for them, and that some women aren't fun or interesting.
Just because a woman is attractive doesn't mean that she's also sweet, kind,
loving, stable, etc.
Men tend to instantly assume that attractive women are more honest, more
friendly, more trustworthy, etc. JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE ATTRACTIVE.
And it just isn't so. You will have to strike your own personal balance in
regards to how you act towards women, and you'll have to learn for
yourself which signs to watch out for.
I personally have no time for a woman who can't deal with a little teasing or
who gets upset because she's not the center of attention and being courted
like a princess.
I laugh if a woman gets upset by one of my jokes... IT'S VERY FUNNY! I just
say "lighten up, a bad attitude isn't attractive".

As for your other two questions, I'm just not sure. Test.
I will say that if you don't talk to a woman the day or so after sex (whether
she calls you or you call her) she'll usually assume that you
aren't interested in anything more and will probably have a higher chance of
resenting you if you call again later... because she's more likely
in this situation to feel like a "booty call".

 ***QUESTION***
Dear David,
I really congratulate you on the job you are doing with your write ups. I
meet a girl in a bus one night, I approached her but our discussion was
 215

little, i was able to get her email address, for the next 7 months we've been
communicating through the internet. Right now she's inviting me for a date
to meet with her again. Pls kindly tell me how to make her like me  Thanks
and regards,
P...from Nigeria

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
WHOA, 7 months?
I guess you've taken the "play hard to get" thing to a whole new level.
The way to make a woman like you is to:

1) Not act like all the other average guys out there.
2) Make her laugh.
3) Be unpredictable, challenging, and mysterious.

...of course there are more ingredients, but use these for your next
meeting.
Don't act nervous or uncomfortable. Treat her like you've known her
all your life... almost like she's your bratty little sister.

Tease her and make her laugh. Have fun.

Don't be PREDICTABLE. Do things that surprise her. Say things that keep her
wanting to hear more. Tell interesting stories and don't answer
her questions directly... instead, make her work for the answers.

And enjoy yourself... you sure have waited long enough.

 ***QUESTION***
Hi, Dave. To start off - your book and method rock. If someone does not
believe this - tell them to go and ask attractive women. I have a few
questions for about picking up women online. Let's say a man is talking to a
 216

woman on icq or msn Instant messenger (a lot more women are using
instant messaging systems than dating sites). He's using C&F (otherwise she
probably would not talk to him). When is it the right time to ask for the
phone number? (I remember you said in one of your newsletters that the
faster the better). Because even those you are being C&F, women are still
afraid of freaks (and they should be). So what would you suggest - 1st
conversation, maybe second, or should I wait for a week (let's assume
she is laughing all the time)? Also it is not hard to come up with conversation
starters - how would you suggest I should start a conversation? (I'm
normally asking some interesting controversial
questions, but I could use your advice).
All men and women should thank you for the job you do!

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Interesting, controversial questions are great ways to start conversations
online with women.
It's also fun to poke fun at their profiles when opening.
Your other question, about how to get them to talk to you on the phone, is
the interesting one.

The answer is actually pretty simple. Don't wait very long to get on the
phone.
Just like most guys are afraid to ask women for their phone numbers in
person, most guys online are too reluctant to take steps to get a woman on
the telephone because they're afraid of getting rejected and losing their
chances for good.
If a woman is having fun chatting with you, just say, "OK, it's time for me to
go, but let's talk later like normal people do on the phone... I want to see if
you can keep this up live in person." etc.

Women will often say "I don't talk to people I meet on the internet". You
want to get this as soon as possible, because a lot of women won't
 217

talk to you NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.

It's better to find out sooner rather than later.

And if she's interested, but not ready for a phone conversation she'll
probably say "Let's talk online some more first", etc.

Get her on the phone sooner rather than later or you'll wind up wasting a lot
of time chatting and little time progressing.

I'd also like to mention that the internet is a great place to PRACTICE talking
to women. You don't have to meet women that you chat with
online... it can just be a fun way to meet new people and practice your
humor and conversation skills.

 ***QUESTION***
Hey Dave !
I’ve met a women that I really adore. She’s one heck of smart, sweet-
looking , GREAT chick ... We met in a restaurant and I managed to secure
her e- mail.
We have been e-mailing each another for about 4 months now. The problem
is that we keep talking about movies, our holidays and... bla bla.
I tried asking her phone number casually in the mail but she just bluntly
ignored. We do still mail each another but nothing really personal that
we talk about.
So Dave , what should I do ? How can I get her started on talking about
us...or perhaps to go out for a coffee/movie ("date") with this chick... I
sincerely am desperate for her... But ( I’m still on your prescription of NOT
being a WHUSS )...

Please help, Dave !

rgds,
M.
 218

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Houston, I think we have a problem.
"WHUSS"?
Don't make me try to pronounce that word...
I have bad news for you:
1) You don't know how to even spell the word "Wuss", which is short for
WUSSY.
2) You are ACTING like this thing that you cannot spell.

Look, you couldn't have made yourself into more of a "friend" (as in "I only
like you as a") if you tried.
I was about to start telling you what to do next time you get a woman's
email address, but then I realized that it would probably take me 100
pages just to get the basics out on paper...

 ***QUESTION***
David,
I have downloaded your book and it reads great, but it looks to me like your
techniques only works with guys who are of average or better looks.
Don't get me wrong I don't have terrible scars or weigh 400lbs, but I have
faced the fact that I'm not what women find good looking. I've tried
buying nice clothes and improving my looks as much as I can, but it doesn't
seem to help. What's worse, the fact that nothing has helped has only
decreased my self confidence.
It seems to me that a cocky attitude would come off as stupid from a guy
like me. How can your techniques work for guys who are below average in
looks and have self-confidence in the gutter?
D
in Cincy
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I have no idea where you got the impression that my techniques only work
for guys who are "of average or better looks". Have you read these
 219

mailbags for very long?

I've had guys who are old, bald, weigh 400 pounds and every other "less
than average" thing you can think of, write in to tell their success stories.

Your problem is your attitude and the fact that you let your emotions control
your mind.
Just because a woman doesn't respond to you, or getting new clothes
doesn't magically make you successful, is no reason to get bummed out.
Here's my personal attitude:
I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES, I'M GOING TO GET THIS THING
FIGURED OUT.

When I started out learning how to meet women, I didn't have the benefit of
the knowledge that I have now.

I had to figure most of this stuff out from scratch. It took me a few YEARS
before I was able to finally say "OK, I know how to meet women."

Now, I think that with the benefit of the materials I've put together and
these newsletters, etc., most guys can shave a LOT of time off their
success curve and can start having SOME level of success almost
immediately.

Have you gotten online and chatted with women?

Have you taken up a hobby where there are naturally more women than men
involved?
Have you put yourself in situations that lead to you automatically meeting
women?
And by the way, a "cocky" attitude isn't what you want...
You need a Cocky and FUNNY attitude. You need to make women LAUGH. If
you can make women laugh, you're most of the way home.
Don't accept less than you want out of life. Don't do it.
 220

And don't let your emotions permanently change your outlook or stop you
from taking action in the future.

***QUESTION***
Hey Dave, First off, I wish I could thank you in person for all the things I've
learned from you. You truly are the master and you've shown me the
light of my wussy-ways. I've had relative success, being that I've only
recently started using your techniques and am still learning; I think I'm
getting better at least.  But my problem lies in the fact that I'm a naturally,
overly silent person. While I don't have any problem approaching a woman,
talking to them, and being C&F, I find a lot of holes in my conversation that
no matter how well thought out or brief my
conversation is, cut in just enough to break things down badly.  This has
been a problem I've been working with for along time and it's not
looking to bright that I'll come out the other end of the tunnel any time soon.
I was hoping you could explain how to use body language and general
actions other than speech, to increase the attraction and hopefully help with
some of the pauses. You truly are the god of this and take
pity on this young apprentice.
Thanks again, S.D. virginia

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
No problem.

Just make sure that when there IS a silence in the conversation that you
DON'T ACT WEIRD ABOUT IT.

In fact, it can be great to let there be a silence every once in awhile. When
you act totally cool and calm, it puts pressure on her to keep
things going.
As for body language, you can just turn away and lean back for a few
moments. As long as you're not acting nervous, this can create a powerful
 221

and magnetic situation.

 ***SUCCESS STORY***
Sorry it's so long! Lot to tell!
Dave,
Wanted to share a success story with everyone! Hey, a man has to brag!
(Now I can thanks to your techniques!). Went away for a golfing weekend
with a mate and met a model who has appeared in magazines. A definite 10
surrounded by 7's. There must have been 10 other guys at the resort vying
for her attention, and guess who got her?

Why? A number of reasons, and all from your book, and mailbag. I came
across as a guy who wanted nothing else from her other than friendship,
even telling her I was gay (She knew otherwise because of my other C&F
Comments). I would walk away whenever I wanted, even with the
competition hanging around her like flies. (It helped that I spoke to
everyone, and everyone got to know me, so she was no one special!)

Can you believe she started making the moves? And then I let the C&F out,
busting her on all her insecurities. I got so many looks of disbelief
from those standing around. They couldn't believe I could say what I did!
Some even tried to counter me by using wuss comments. Example, she dyes
her hair deep red. I just asked how she manages to die her roots brown (Not
that I could see them). Her jaw dropped, she hit me, and some wuss pipes
up, "Don't worry, I think your hair is beautiful". My
reply, "Well some people will settle for second best!". Another Punch
(and laugh!)

The absolute winner came when we were watching a rugby match on TV in

the lounge. She was sitting with her parents, so I pulled up a chair along
side them, and as I sat down I immediately jumped up, and said, "Hey,
watch the hands!" Giving her a disapproving look! Of course she denied
 222

everything, her parents laughed (They loved me because of my attitude, and

the fact I wasn't one of the normal wussy men she brought home.)
She still doesn't know my age, thinks I make blow- up dolls for a living, but
wants to see me again.
DESPERATELY. We're seeing each other this weekend again, and she was the
one who asked! Incredible!

One comment, though! I often read guys asking for what to say in certain
situations. I was even going to suggest you put that in your next book.
But over the last couple of months I've realized that the C&F routine has to
be spontaneous. These guys are asking for pickup lines, and that's not
what it's about! Guys, use the examples to get the concept of C&F, not the
lines! The examples should be used for the attitude, if you remember the
lines, they're going to sound canned!

Thanks Dave! Seems like I'm the only one in my country with this info! ;-)
GC (South Africa)

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, you just gotta love asking a model how she "manages to dye the roots of
her hair" a different color. That's a classic!

Great story, and keep me up to date about what happens.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi David
I'm a UK reader of your book and emails and was initially skeptical of
whether they would work in the UK, since the dating rules are a little
different from the US and other parts of the world - trust me I know - I've
been in bars in NY where a smart watch, a decent suit and educated
conversation (plus a bar bill the size of the gross national debt of Peru) will
get you laid in about 20 minutes. In San Fancisco it was even easier, a
 223

British accent and basic motor neuron functioning seemed to work. Being
straight probably didn't hurt either.

Women in North America seem to have no problem approaching guys in a

bar. However in the UK it's a different story. Men are expected to make the
first move all the time and take the risks. I have always been telling my
friends that they never actually pull a woman, she allows herself to be
pulled by you, i.e., you need to look for the "buy signals" from her before
going in to close the deal, and by simply doing that you increase your
success rate.
The question has always been: "How do you encourage those buy
signals?"

David, buddy, you have shown us the light. The jigsaw is complete. and You
are right in your book that some men just seem to know this intuitively - or
they may just be a@#holes - but the effect is much the same. Be cocky and
funny, laugh them into bed, confuse them, and above all don't worry about it
- we call this the Bastard Magnet in the UK.
Every girl loves a bastard.
So how does it work in un the UK in practice? - well like a charm: my current
favorite is this (apologies if this seems verbose, but I talk quickly and as a
lawyer am often expected to make long statements like this, but it's
important to make it sound like a parody of a lecture or a submission - your
whole thing about the importance of being in character is spot on):

Me: If we're walking I pull her up and say, "And so we come to the part of
the evening where according to the rules of dating I am obliged to entice you
back to my place for sex. Now I also fully understand that according to the
rules of dating, you are obliged to refuse on the grounds of chastity and the
usual requirements of self-respect and esteem. However, importantly, I also
realise that you will be EXPECTING me to ask you back, and in fact, if I
don't, you will experience feelings of inadequacy and question your
 224

attractiveness. So why don't we take it as read that this interchange has

taken place, honour has been satisfied and we can get on with the evening?

Her: "Absolutely right..."

Me: "Good..."
Her: "...OK then, let's go back to your place"

Looking back on it, I am surprised, but all the elements are there - Cocky
(you expect me to ask you back), funny (conflict between her feelings of
attractiveness and self-esteem), care-less attitude (take it as read and get
on with the evening), character (I'm talking as if I'm giving a lecture or
making an argument in court), and taking charge. Dude, the samurai weren't
the best because they had the best technique, they were the best because
they had no fear of death – thanks for taking the fear out of failure.

When you come to London, email me and we'll grab a beer.

Cheers
JL
>>>MY COMMENTS:

These are some of the best examples of how to be Cocky and Funny in
different situations that I've ever seen.

This is amazing... I love it.

It's charming, funny, and incredible. Awesome.

 ***QUESTION***
hi david,
I have been hard on myself for a few days now from not making the move to
kiss this girl who i have loved for so long. she gave me the signal, but I
didn't follow through. i panicked. now i worry she won't ever give me
 225

another chance considering this happened before when i don't make the
move. She knows i love her a great deal. i even called and left a message
the next day to see if she wanted to see a movie with me. she didn't reply
back. Do you think i should be concerned or do you think i'll get another
chance to be her boyfriend? And to help me, what can i do to not hesitate
the next time around when i feel she wants to be kissed?
l.
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a problem.
If a woman knows that it's time for you to kiss her, and you DON'T
DO IT because you're too nervous, you'll probably not get another
chance at it.
The way to not hesitate next time is to use "The Kiss Test", as described on
my website, in my book, in my CD audio series, in my seminars, and in
every frickin' thing I teach ever.

Dude, go download a copy of my book online. It's just not worth screwing up
these kinds of opportunities just because you don't know what to do.
It's important that you learn how to move forward in ALL of the different
situations you'll find yourself in with women... not just kissing them.

 ***QUESTION***
Dave,
You are the man!  I have been using your techniques and I am definitely
seeing results. But, I have a problem with you. You see, I have written at
least twice before, but you have never printed my stuff!  I mean, what, are
my stories not successful enough?  Please include this as soon as possible.
OK, what has worked for me? Well, one time I was at the mall, this girl didn't
have her shoes on.  So I say, "Isn't it store policy to be wearing shoes while
you're working? I mean, what the hell's wrong with this picture?" So I was
teasing her and all that good stuff, and I got her phone number. I work in a
liquor store, and I thought of giving girls fake surveys to fill out.  So one
 226

time, this hottie asks for a 30 pk. beer. I get it for her.  Then she leaves. I
catch up with her at the parking lot, and I say, "Hey, I didn't get to give this
to you while you were inside. I was just wondering if you wanted to take
a quick survey."  She says sure. So I give her the paper.  It looks like this:
(Company name) Survey
NAME
PHONE NUMBER
E-MAIL (OPTIONAL)
AGE
She starts laughing.  She says, "This isn't real!" I say, "Of course it is.  I
want to personally make sure that your next experience here will be
even better."  She's laughing this whole time and accuses me again of the
survey being fake. I say, "OK, fine, but you have to give me points for
being creative."  She asks me who's it for, and I say it's for me. She starts
filling it out.  She's reading it and she says, "E-mail, optional, that's
cute."  I say, "I know." So we chitchat for a little, and I go back to the store,
I turn around and I say, "You remember my name, right?"  She says my
name and I say, "Good job."...

[I had to edit this one, because it was just too long here]

...So I've had problems where I'll call the girl, and I won't reach her.  I'll
leave my name and number either with the machine or with the person
who picked up the phone. But the problem is, they don't call back
sometimes.  Should I call again? Should I just say Next!? And I don't know if
I should leave a cocky and funny message on the machine and what I should
say, and I'm a litte wary because what if she lives with other people,
like parents or something?...

S.G. from Jersey

>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is quite possibly the greatest idea I've heard this year for getting a
 227

woman's name, number and email.

"I was wondering if you'd like to take a quick survey" LOL!

To answer your questions:
STOP CALLING FIRST ON THE PHONE... EMAIL FIRST INSTEAD.

Women will answer your emails probably TWICE as often as they'll return
calls, so start there.

Then get on the phone to set up the plans in a few minutes and get off. Stop
playing the phone game!

***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
I can't thank you enough. Your book has taught me so much, and given me
so much confidence in life and especially in the women department. I DIDN'T
HAVE A CLUE. Now..I have always been good at attracting girls early on, but
for some reason I could never keep one for more than a couple of weeks. It
sucked. My confidence level went way down and i could never figure out
what the deal was.

Well I finally decided it was time to change things so i got on the net and
eventually stumbled on to your newsletter, and about a month later I
bought your book.. Complete turnaround. Now I know what was wrong. I
had a bad case of WUSSYNITIS. Every time I got together with a girl i turned
into a complete wuss. Now I have to fight 'em off with a stick. I have so
much fun bustin' their balls and they LOVE ME FOR IT. And well..  Thanks
for giving me a clue.  S. from TX.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
You're not alone. Men all over the world are victims of the same
 228

psychological disorder... the one you call:

WUSSYITIS

Now, I might suggest that we try to find a name that's a little more catchy
for the psychology books, but hey... it's a good start.

One of the problems with what I'll call "The Inner Wuss" is that it's HARD TO
GET RID OF for most guys.

It's way too easy to slip back into Wuss Mode with a woman, and screw
things up INSTANTLY.

  The "Inner Wuss" often makes an appearance at the WORST time (when
you want to approach a woman and start a conversation, for instance).

  If you want to succeed with women, you MUST get rid of the INNER WUSS.

By the way, there are TWO PARTS to successfully approaching women.

The first part is to get your INNER GAME together...

I'm talking about overcoming fear, building a confident self-image and

getting yourself into a positive mental state.

The second part is the TECHNIQUES.

Here I'm talking about where to go, how to approach, what to say, and
everything in between.

If you're interested in getting these two aspects of your "game" together,

then you MUST check out two of my programs...
 229

  For the first part (the Inner Game), you need to get your hands on a copy
of my "Deep Inner Game" DVD program.

This is literally an ARSENAL of tools and techniques to help you re-work

your self-image, self-esteem, and self-confidence... all in the area of WOMEN
AND DATING.

It includes what I consider to be the most powerful psychological concepts

ever discovered and all I can say is that you MUST check it out.

  For the SECOND part (the techniques), you need to check out my
"Approaching Women" program.

  I spend time on the Inner Game in this program, but you're going to be
BLOWN AWAY by the literally hundreds of techniques, lines and tips for
approaching women, getting numbers and turning them into dates.

  If you've ever wanted to learn the skill called "Approaching Women", then
this program is going to teach it to you.

By the way, I'm so confident that these programs will clear away your
obstacles with women and get you INSTANT results that you can SEE with
your own two eyes, that I'll literally let you try them without cost.

If you like them, keep them... if you don't, send them back and pay nothing.
Really. Details are on the Web sites.

A 'Magic Personality Trait' That Attracts Women

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Dave,
 230

I decided to get this area of my life - "dating" - handled no matter what

about a year ago.  I had a lot of internal problems with self-esteem and
self-image.  So I started by reading a lot of self-help books that teach how to
use your mind to change your world - your "reality" as you would say. That
helped me a lot and I started seeing things very differently.  I became more
confident and more importantly, more determined and convinced that I could
get this handled for myself.  But I still didn't understand the science
of "attraction" specifically.  I knew there had to be some reason why some
guys got tons of women while others went without but I just didn't "get
it."
I ordered your book about 8 months ago and it helped me tremendously
because I started to understand attraction and it also motivated me to
get out in the field and start working on my skills.  I read many books on
attraction and watched movies with "romantic heroes," like James
Bond. I started going to [other] web-sites and signed up for a bunch of
newsletters (yours are by far the best, by the way).

Over the next 6 months, I had more success with women then I've ever had
in my life.  I got tons of numbers, learned to flirt a little bit, and went on
more dates than I had over the past couple years combined. So, when your
Advanced CD series came out, I bought that too and it's been another
great help.  I like the CD series a little better than your book because it
emphasizes the "inner game" more instead of straight "techniques." I
think a lot of people - including myself at one point - are under the
impression that the right "line" is going to get them laid.  I think the
opposite: when you're feeling unstoppable, then you'll exude it and just
about anything you say will work. Further, body language is SO MUCH more
important than words - that took me a long time to figure out and really
understand. Anyway, your CD series addresses these concepts in detail and
it really helped me.
 231

My success story is different from the others usually in your mailbag because
its still a work in progress. For whatever reasons, I wasn't able to read your
book and then immediately go out and get laid by 6 different hotties in 2
weeks, like some of your readers. It's not discouraging for me because I
know that I'm 300% better at this now than I was a year ago and I'm
working on this skill every single day and eventually I'm going to get to
where I want to be- there's no doubt in my mind.  I think you say this often
and I really have come to understand it on a deep level over the past few
months:  "Dating is a skill that you can learn." I've learned some skills of
dating and I'm learning others and I'm going to perfect them. So, when I
read your mailbag, I just say to myself:  "Good for those guys - this book
must have put them right over the top. I'm going to keep working at this and
I'll be there soon."

My question for you is how long did it take you to master all of this?  Also,
did you get discouraged along the way and how did you keep picking
yourself up?  How did you get yourself to really believe that this was going to
happen for you? Also, did you notice that you'd get something figured out
and then be at that level trying to figure the next level out for months and
then finally you'd get the next level figured out and then you'd be at that
level for a long time?
Thanks for your book, CDs, and mailbag - they've helped me on a deep level.
I hope that in a year or two, I'll be one of the speakers at your live
seminar.
JM Minneapolis

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

You have brought up some GREAT points here...

I'd like to comment on some of the things you've mentioned, then tell you a
little about my personal experience learning this stuff.
 232

The first thing you mentioned is: "I decided to get this area of my life -
"dating" - handled no matter what about a year ago..."

There are a few KEY words in this statement.

Those words are "NO MATTER WHAT".

I've read many "self help" and "success" books in my day.

But one of the most important of these books, in my opinion, was "Think And
Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. In this book, he talks about the idea of
DECIDING to do something NO MATTER WHAT.
There's something about saying to yourself and others, "I'm going to do this
thing and I don't care how long it takes or what I have to do. I'm
going to accomplish it".  That is magical.

Now, I don't want to sound like some kind of freak show psychic or cult
leader... but this concept is powerful.
I've found that when I use this concept and REALLY MAKE A COMMITMENT to
do something, that it somehow focuses all of my mental energy on it and
I wind up accomplishing things that I never thought that I could.

I've also found that when I recommend to others that they do this, they
have all kinds of excuses that seem to "come up". They say:

"Well, I'm not sure that I want to accomplish it NO MATTER WHAT..."

  ...or...
"I don't want to limit myself..."
  ...or...
"I don't want to tell everyone that I'm going to do it and then not follow
through..."
 233

  ...etc., etc., etc.

  And guess what?

 They usually don't accomplish what they want in life.

I've also noticed that when people I know get to the point where they
actually DO make this commitment to themselves and others, that they
ALMOST MAGICALLY wind up reaching their goals...
NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.
This idea has power. A lot of power.

The next thing you mentioned is:

"I had a lot of internal problems with self-esteem and self-image."

You also mentioned later that you feel like it's taken you longer than some
other guys to reach the levels of success that you'd like to reach with women
and dating.

I'm not a psychologist, but my experience is that if you have a lot of issues
with your self image/self esteem, then it's going to take longer to accomplish
just about ANYTHING in life as a result.

These are DEEP psychological and emotional issues and they interfere and
interact with EVERYTHING.
I think you've made a VERY WISE CHOICE by working on those issues as you
worked on this other area.

I'll also address the comment you made about some guys just having more
success and having it faster than others.
 234

First of all, when I choose the letters from readers to include in these
newsletters, I like to include mostly emails from guys who GIVE SOMETHING
before they ASK for something. And I love success stories, because they
encourage us all (The fact is that I don't get many emails from readers
saying "this stuff doesn't work for me", but I do get a few here and there).

But, the long and the short of it is that since you get to hear a lot of success
stories, it SEEMS like this stuff is really easy for most guys.

But, I'll tell you, we all have our challenges.

We all have areas that are harder to improve than others and we all want
more success... no matter what level we're at.

  Each of us starts out where we start out, and each of us is on our own path
to success. No one can do this for you, and it would be impossible for me to
tell you how long it's going to take you to have the kind of success that you
want to have...

I will tell you this though. If you have major self esteem and self image
issues, it's probably going to take longer than if you don't.

But as far as I'm concerned, the only thing that matters is YOU getting what
YOU want in YOUR life. It doesn't matter if it takes a week or a year or
a decade. If you need to accomplish this for yourself, then do what it takes,
"no matter what". No one is going to do it for you... that's for sure.

And there's no feeling like the feeling of achieving success in some area of
your life that's important to you.

You mentioned that during your first 6 months you got tons of numbers,
learned how to flirt with women, etc. How great does that feel?!
 235

You also mentioned how learning about the "inner game" from my CD
Program helped you at a much deeper level than just learning "techniques"
ever did.

This is SUCH an important point.

Most guys ask me for quick fixes.

When they have a problem, they write to me for a line or a technique to

solve their problem.
The PROBLEM with that is once you get INTO a problem situation, it's
DIFFICULT to "fix". The best policy is to AVOID getting yourself into the
situation in the first place!

  Duh.
But how do you do that?
Of course... you have to BECOME the guy that does the right things. And
part of this "BECOMING" is learning all those things that come together
and make up your "inner game". Things like your beliefs about yourself and
women, your understanding of dating and attraction, your subtle
communication skills... and all the rest.

When you learn this stuff, then all the TECHNIQUES start to work
DRAMATICALLY better. In fact, you find yourself NOT NEEDING THEM AS
MUCH anymore.  Since you understand what's HAPPENING at each stage,
you don't have to rely as much on techniques... you can just lead the way
and do the right thing whenever you need to.

I could say this 1,000 times, and tomorrow some guy is going to write me
and say "I have this girl that I've been in love with for 10 years but she
thinks I'm the UBER-WUSSY. What can I say to her to make her fall instantly
in love with me?"
 236

FOCUS ON THE INNER GAME.

Finally, you asked me how long it's taken ME to master this stuff as well as a
few other questions about my personal experiences.

The direct answer is that it took me about three years from when I first
decided to "get this handled" until the moment when I realized, "Oh my God,
I don't feel insecure about women anymore. I can go out anytime I want and
meet women. I don't ever have to worry about being alone again."

Why so long?

Well, to begin with, I didn't have good materials to get me started.

I went out and looked around on the internet, read a bunch of books, went
to seminars, listened to tapes... the whole deal.  The thing that really
did it for me, and you've heard me say this over and over, is when I started
spending time with guys who were NATURALLY good with women. In other
words, they had figured out what works with women on their own (or from
other guys), without any influence from books or tapes or seminars.

By watching and spending time with them, I discovered all kinds of amazing
things. And by taking what I learned and experimenting, combining and
innovating, I figured out and developed some WILD stuff.

But, you know what?

I still learn things every day about this topic.

I'll be watching a couple interact at the local Starbucks and I'll realize
something that's been right in front of me the whole time... but I just
didn't see it.
 237

The great thing about this whole subject of women and dating is that you
can really enjoy the process of developing your own success.

I will tell you one thing. If I would have had my own book and Advanced
Series when I started, it would have taken me a FRACTION of the time -
guaranteed.

...and with that, I have to recommend that if you're reading this right now
and you haven't gotten your own copies of these, then you need to
do it.

There is no better way to learn how to be more successful with women and
dating. I've spent a lot of time putting these materials together and
organizing them in a such a way that you can start using what you learn
IMMEDIATELY. You will see INSTANT improvement with women... and I
absolutely guarantee that you'll be thrilled with the value you receive or you
can just ask for a full refund.
Really.

How To Impress ANY Woman

I've learned a secret to impressing women that I'm going to share with you
in this newsletter.

It's a secret that probably not 1 in 1,000 men knows or will ever figure out
on his own.

The REASON that most men will never figure out this particular secret is that
it's TOO OBVIOUS.

  Let me explain...
 238

I personally think that most men feel a very powerful desire to IMPRESS
women.

If you watch the way a man behaves when he's talking to a woman he's just
met or a woman that he's on a first date with, you can SEE IT.

Maybe you've been there yourself.

I know I have. Many, many times, in fact.

The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with
another feeling: DON'T SCREW THIS UP.

Here are some of the signs that a guy is feeling the need to "impress" the
woman that he's talking to:

1) He tries to only say "cool" things, or things that will "impress" the
woman.

2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation... sometimes

coming across as "formal".

3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.

4) If he says something that the woman doesn't like, he "back-

pedals" and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.

5) He doesn't say anything "risky", doesn't tease the woman, and

doesn't do anything to upset her.

...in other words, when a guy is talking to a woman that he "likes", he's
usually on his "best behavior", and he's trying to "put his best foot
 239

forward".

To say it again, MEN FEEL A POWERFUL DRIVE TO IMPRESS THE WOMAN

THAT THEY "LIKE".

And this drive to impress often makes them act UNNATURAL.

There's your first hint, in fact...

THE SECRET

Remember at the beginning when I told you that I was going to share a
secret with you about how to impress women that not 1 in 1,000 men will
figure out on their own?

 Well, here it is:

 STOP TRYING.

If you will just STOP TRYING to impress women, and do the things I'm
teaching you instead, women will NATURALLY be "impressed" by you.

TRYING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN DOESN'T IMPRESS HER.

So let's break this down...

WHY IMPRESSING WOMEN IS THE WRONG ROAD

What's wrong with trying to "impress" women, anyway?

To start with, EVERYTHING.

 240

When you intentionally try to impress a woman, you send the following
messages on a "subtle" level:

1) I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I will try to "impress" you
instead.

2) I'm not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.

3) I don't have a lot of experience with attractive women.

4) I'm insecure.

5) I don't know how to make women feel comfortable with me.

Ouch.

But it's the truth.

Women can TELL INSTANTLY when you're "trying".

The conversation doesn't feel "normal", your body language is strange, and
you can't seem to have a regular conversation.

Now of course, I've just described the way that about 99.9999% of men act
when they're first talking to a woman that they "like".

Are you ready for a profound insight?

Here goes...

MOST MEN DO THIS WITH MOST ATTRACTIVE WOMEN MOST OF THE

TIME. IN OTHER WORDS, IT'S OLD NEWS. IT'S BORING. IT'S
 241

PREDICTABLE. AND IT DOES NOT IMPRESS AT ALL.

The bottom line is that trying to impress a woman usually has the OPPOSITE
effect.

It not only makes you look like a nervous guy who can't make normal
conversation... it also bores the hell out of women.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD

OK, so you're out having a cup of tea with a beautiful woman you just met a
few days before...

She asks you what you do for a living.

Should you answer with:

1) "Well, I'm an engineer for a software company that makes sophisticated
vector widget plotting algorithms. I've been with them for three years,
and I'm about to be promoted to ALGORITHM MANAGER."

2) "I do stunt work. Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has
to reveal his naked ass? That's my job."

...?

  Well, it all depends on what your outcome is.

  If you want to try and IMPRESS the girl with your cool high-tech job, then
#1 will work just fine.

Unfortunately, it won't impress her at all, and it will make you sound like a
jackass who is trying to sound cool.
 242

If you want to ACTUALLY impress her, try #2.

Most men don't have the BALLS to say something like this when a woman
asks a "serious" question like "What do you do?".

If you REALLY want to make a long-lasting impression, KEEP THE HUMOR

GOING.

She'll say "No, really... what do you do?".

Answer with: "No, really. Haven't you ever seen it when an actor needs a
stunt ass? I mean hey... someone's got to do it".
Now, I can't possibly go into all the reasons why it's a HUGE MISTAKE to try
to impress a woman, or to feel like everything you say should be
"impressive".

There are MANY reasons for this.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, there are a few things you can do that will INSTANTLY
impress a woman... and I mean REALLY impress her.

But these things aren't OBVIOUS.

The most IMPORTANT thing you can do to IMPRESS a woman is make her
feel a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you.

This feeling will stay with her long after you have left and gone home.

And it's the one thing that will make women pursue YOU... and try to
impress YOU.
 243

What's the best way to do this?

Stop trying to IMPRESS women. Stop now.

'Chemistry' And 'Sexual Tension' Explained

NOTE: Somewhere in this newsletter I reveal to you an almost "magical"

technique... This particular technique is one of those "gems" that you can
use in many situations with women... one that has the power to instantly
transform the energy between you and a woman into an almost INSTANT
ATTRACTION...

  Here's an interesting thought:

Ask 100 attractive women if they know what the words "Chemistry" and
"Sexual Tension" mean, they'll all nod their heads and say "Of course!".

Ask 100 guys off the street if they know what the words "Chemistry" and
"Sexual Tension" mean, and about 98 of them will give you a dumb look and
say "Uh, not really".

A few will probably say things like "Um, is Sexual Tension like... when you
and a chick are having sex in a weird position and you get a cramp... right?".

The reality of this situation is that most attractive women know EXACTLY
what Chemistry and Sexual Tension are... and they can describe them in
DETAIL... but most men have literally NO IDEA... they're completely clueless.

Think about that.

I'm talking about an incredible phenomenon here...

 244

How is it POSSIBLE that one of the most important aspects of attracting a

woman is something that most men know NOTHING about?

And how is it that almost ALL attractive women are totally "in the know"
about this stuff?

Is there some kind of strange conspiracy against men?

Are women keeping a secret from us guys just so we won't be able to break
the code?

Maybe.

I mean, think about it...

If you were an attractive woman, would you want to find a guy that you had
to TEACH the concepts of Chemistry and Sexual Tension to... or would you
want a guy who just "got it" on his own...
"naturally"?

Duh.

You'd want the guy who already "got it".

So more likely than a conspiracy against clueless men, women just naturally
respond to men who GET IT, and DON'T respond to men who DON'T.

So let's talk about these concepts a little bit more.

When a woman uses the word "Chemistry", as in "There was chemistry

between us" or "I want to meet a man and have natural chemistry", she's
talking about ATTRACTION.
 245

Chemistry is about a woman perceiving that she and a guy are

"naturally compatible" because her emotional and physical sparks fly
when she meets or is around that guy.

NOTE: I did NOT use the word "logical" here.

Chemistry is NOT the result of a woman meeting a man and then thinking to
herself "Let's see... he is six feet tall, has a good job making 37%
more than the medial salary, is the correct age for child rearing... I think
that we have a natural chemistry...".

Nooooo way.

For a woman, Chemistry is either THERE, or it ISN'T.

There's no two ways about it.

Unfortunately, most guys hear the word "Chemistry" and they think it
somehow equates to "The guy must be good-looking so the girl thinks
he's sexy... and since I'm NOT the most handsome guy alive, women won't
feel it with ME".

This is only because most guys don't get that you can make a woman feel
ATTRACTION for you REGARDLESS of your looks, age, income, height, or
anything else.

So let me repeat:

"Chemistry is about a woman perceiving that she and a guy are "naturally
compatible" because her emotional and physical sparks fly when she meets
or is around that guy."
 246

Now let's talk about Sexual Tension.

Sexual Tension is about the interaction.

It's that feeling you get when you're in the presence of someone
you're attracted to, but there are OBSTACLES, ANTICIPATION,
HUMOR, and/or other ingredients in the mix that both increase the
ATTRACTION, and increase the TENSION in the situation.

Sexual Tension is the combination of being pulled toward someone, but also
feeling resistance at the same time.

It's about not knowing what's going to happen, but being on the
edge of your seat WANTING to know what's going to happen.

Think of it this way...

If a woman KNOWS that she has you right from the beginning, she
won't be as interested... this is why so many guys kill their chances
with a girl instantly by going "overboard" and doing too many things
to demonstrate his interest.

But if she DOESN'T know whether or not you're interested, and you keep the
mystery up, while making her more and more interested, she will think about
you ALL THE TIME.

This is creating Chemistry, and increasing the Sexual Tension.

Will a woman feel more ATTRACTION for a guy who always talks to her when
he sees her, always calls her, and is always available?

No.
 247

She'll feel more attraction if he's more mysterious, challenging, and

unpredictable.

Remember, Sexual Tension is GOOD for attraction, not bad for it...

So let's talk about some great ways to create Sexual Tension... which will
NATURALLY lead to that magical feeling of CHEMISTRY.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to create and amplify Sexual Tension:

1)  BE COCKY & FUNNY

Being Cocky & Funny, or using Cocky Comedy, is a fun, interesting,
enjoyable way to create and amplify Sexual Tension.

The formula is:

Start with an arrogant thought, then add humor to complete.

If you're standing in line waiting for your coffee, and you notice an attractive
woman behind the counter, you could say "Hurry up, you're not working fast
enough" in a serious tone of voice.

That's arrogant. It's cocky. But it's not at all FUNNY.

You'd sound like a jerk-off if you said that in a cold way.

If instead you said "Hey, since you like me and this line is always long, how
about if I just walk to the front from now on and you give me free coffee?"...
 248

Now that's a whole different story.

If that same girl behind the counter goes to take your money, and drops it,
you could say "You're a klutz, watch what you're doing".

If you did, you'd sound rude and stupid.

On the other hand, if you start shaking your head, roll your eyes, and breath
out through your nose loudly in a dramatic way like you're completely
annoyed with her (in a funny way), you're going to make her laugh.

  Good thing.

 These are examples of being Cocky & Funny, or using Cocky Comedy.

2)  WAIT TO CALL HER

What do most guys do when they get a girl's number or email address?

Right, they call or write three minutes later.

"Hi, it was great meeting you a few minutes ago... so, what are you doing?"

OUCH.

Calling or writing a woman immediately is one good way to destroy any

anticipation or Sexual Tension that was present in the moment.

On the other hand, if you call up two days later and say "Hey, what up?
I'm busy tonight, and tomorrow, but let's do something on Friday.
Here's my number, call me... I gotta go..." that's a TOTALLY different
type of communication.
 249

By day two, she's already wondering why you haven't called, wondering if
you're getting back together with your ex that she's imagining being a
model... and generally beginning to wonder if and when you're going to call.

Waiting builds tension. Do it. And do it after the FIRST call as well. Learn to
become comfortable not knowing what's going on... and waiting to find out.
It's MUCH better.

3)  TWO STEPS FORWARD, ONE STEP BACK

This is the ultimate formula for AMPLIFYING a woman's anticipation, arousal,

and interest in you.

Moving two steps forward, and one step back takes Sexual Tension, and it
DIALS IT UP.

The idea is simple:

Every time you make "progress" in a romantic way with a woman, STOP.
Then lean back.

For instance, if you have been talking to her, and you start holding hands...
after a few minutes, TAKE YOUR HAND BACK.

Then lean back physically, and move away from her for a little while.

If you wind up kissing a little while later, STOP kissing her, and lean
back again.
 250

Get it?

Women don't get turned on quite the same way men do.

Men are on/off switches.

Women are volume knobs... that need to be turned up gradually.

If you show some self-control, make her feel good, and then go two forward,
one back you will give a woman an experience she'll really enjoy,
and won't forget...

4)  TEASE HER

Women LOVE teasing when it's done in the right way.

Some people think of teasing as "making fun of"...

Now, I DO love to make fun of women... but I'm talking about a different
type of teasing right now.

I'm talking about the type of teasing where you give someone a
LITTLE BIT of what they want, then take it away so they want it
MORE.

I'm talking about leaning in to kiss a woman, then stopping right before you
kiss her... so she can feel your lips just about to touch hers, and then
staying there for just a moment...

  ...and then LEANING BACK.

  You're teasing her.

 251

You know that she wants you to kiss her, but you're NOT kissing her.

You're in control, and she loves it, hates it, and WANTS IT.

Teasing creates this Sexual Tension rapidly.

You can tease in many ways...

Next time you're buying something, when the girl behind the counter
reaches out to take your money, put it in her hand, then quickly take it
away as she grabs it.

That's teasing.

It's fun, and you can use it almost everywhere for the enjoyment of both you
and her...

ANOTHER REAL-WORLD EXAMPLE:

Let's say you and a woman are out together, and you're enjoying your
evening.

She decides to throw out one of those types of questions that you're not
expecting, but that seem DESIGNED to throw you off...

She asks the question... "Do you think we'll ever have sex?"

Now, most men will answer, "I hope so" or "why, do you want to?"

Sexual Tension - KILLED.

She asks, "Do you think we'll ever have sex"...

 252

You answer, "Only in your dreams... and calm down, just because I'm out
with you doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you"...

Sexual Tension - AMPLIFIED.

When she asked the question, she was TESTING you... she wanted to know
if you were going to bite down on the bait. She was finding out if you
were REALLY as in control as it seemed.

  You either pass or fail those.

The more you watch for, listen for, and pay attention to Sexual Tension, the
more you'll begin to NOTICE it.

And the more you NOTICE IT, the more you can start to control it, amplify it,
and direct it.

A FAVORITE WAY TO CREATE CHEMISTRY AND SEXUAL TENSION

I'm going to share a FANTASTIC technique with you right now, so put on
your thinking cap, and remember this one.

This is a great way to let a woman know that you understand Sexual Tension
and Chemistry, while at the same time CREATING THEM.

Let's use a real-world situation.

Maybe you had responded to a few online personals, and some women have
written you back...

And lets say that one of the women said, "tell me more about yourself", etc.
 253

Let's further say that in her online personal profile she mentioned that she
loved cats...

You might write her back, and say:

"Here's a little more about me... I'm sitting on my favorite chair, reading a
magazine. You walk into the room, and the air shifts... you slowly
and carefully walk up to where I'm sitting, and rub up against my leg... I
look down at you, and you look back at me... "Meow", you say... I reach
down, and gently stroke your head... and you go running away... like a
typical kitty cat..."

If you are acting like a MAN, being Cocky & Funny, communicating that
you're in control of yourself and the situation, etc., something like this can
be MAGICAL.

A story like this one communicates sooooo many things at once... things that
would take you literally weeks of "regular" communication to convey to her.

A little story like this one, at just the right time can create so much Sexual
Tension, and spark the Chemistry so fast that you'll often INSTANTLY
take things to a different level with a woman.

Now, there's a very important factor that you MUST understand...

You CANNOT do this, create a little story like this, and try to use this way of
talking to a woman if you're acting like a WUSSY.

This can only be used in the context of you having communicated that you're
a MAN... and one that understands ATTRACTION, at that.
 254

If you try to do this kind of thing before you've communicated that

you're a masculine, powerful guy, you're only going to make a
woman RUN away.

So now that you understand Chemistry and Sexual Tension... and finally had
someone explain these amazing concepts to you... what's the best way to
learn the other keys to making women feel ATTRACTION for you?

Glad you asked...

The best way to learn the "language" of what I call "Sexual Communication"
is to check out my DVD/CD program that goes by the same name.

Inside my Sexual Communication program, I'm going to teach you

everything from the PSYCHOLOGY of attraction and "chemistry"... but I'm
also going to teach you how to CREATE it.

Learning how to speak this language that I call Sexual Communication is one
of the MOST important skills you'll ever learn.

What To Say To Women, How To Tease Them

**SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,
You are the Man! It took me about a month of reading and re-reading your
book. I am (was) very shy. I really think it was more a lack of self confidence
than shy. I think I was using the word shy because I didn't want to admit or
didn't understand that it was a lack of self confidence. I set a target date of
when I was going to let my inhibitions go and put my (your) plan to work. I
got more email addresses and phone numbers in 3 hours than I got in 3
years. Just felt compelled to write and say Thanks.  Hope to see you in NY
 255

E.M. in Va.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I love letters like this one. Good for you!

It sounds to me like the process of getting this area of your life handled has
you pretty excited. Let it spill over into the other areas of your life.

Great job!

 ***COMMENT FROM  WOMAN***

Dear David,
Remember the woman that had a friend that wanted to slap the sh** out of
you - you know, the crack pipe chick? That woman was right about one thing
- someone needs to get slapped.
She does and so do all of her milk toast, clueless and probably dog-ugly
friends!  How in the world did she get "lesbian" twisted into all of that?  I
read the e-mail for crying out loud, and it sounds to me like this girl's in a
slump that makes the N.Y. Jets look like Super Bowl contenders.

Injure a woman's delicate psyche? Give me a break. I hope you guys out
there don't believe a word of this girl's whiny crap. If your girlfriends agree
with her, I hope you don't mind turning squishy and you better find a good
recipe for strawberry daiquiris and start planning for a life filled with
tupperware parties and purse shopping.

Let me set all of you guys straight who might still possibly be on the fence at
this point. Get David's book. I haven't read it yet - I'm still crackin' up over
the newsletter.  I'm an attractive woman architect who works in a man's
world and would have it no other way! I'm athletic, but still feminine. I'm
pretty conservative and don't cuss (anymore) so I'm proof that it's not just
 256

the rough women that get turned on by the sport of a challenging male.
David's right - I have a lot of male friends and most of them want to be more
than friends. I could never put my finger on it before I started reading
David's newsletters - they were nice and I've certainly dated guys that
weren't nearly as good looking as them, but it's clear to me now.  My guy
friends are wusses. Cocky + funny = SEXY!  Don't ask me why, just do it. I
wish more of you would. By the way, David, the chicks out here that read
(and appreciate) your newsletter, need a formula, too.  Sincerely,

ks in Kansas City
>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, first of all, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU INCLUDE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

I was just thinking to myself:

"You know, it sure would be great to meet an athletic, feminine woman with
a good job... maybe an architect or something."

I don't know about the conservative, no cussing thing... maybe I could

adapt. - But to my credit, I'm NOT squishy, I have NO IDEA how to make a
strawberry daiquiri, and I hate purse shopping. I do, however like to host an
occasional Tupperware party.

Think about it and get back to me.

Oh, back to your comments...

 Thank you for writing in and providing another perspective. I wish that more
women would be as open and honest about what attracts them.

I personally think that women like you who have their lives together are too
 257

busy ENJOYING life to take the time out to teach the mass of WUSS-BAG
men out there how to stop with the purse shopping and Tupperware.

 Thanks again for your email... I love sharp, honest women.

 ***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hey, I've been receiving your emails for awhile, and have been thinking,
does this stuff work on guys as well? I'm an attractive 18 yr old, and I
don't often have problems attracting males attention, but that’s about it. I
don't often get approached in clubs/bars, just looked at from afar. Do guys
think woman are promiscuous etc if they make the first move? I mean does
that kind of confidence in a woman scare men off? A little help would be
most appreciated!  Ta!

JD  New Zealand

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow, now I've got attractive 18 year old women who are trying to figure out
how to get men to talk to them.

IS ANYONE OUT THERE LISTENING?

I've actually met MANY women who say that they either aren't
approached often, or when they are it's the same old lame, boring
stuff time after time...

 "Can I take you out sometime?"

 "So, you probably have a boyfriend, right?"

 258

 Or guys just watch with the "I wish I wasn't such a total and complete
WUSSY because you're very attractive and I'd give one of my front teeth
in exchange for just one chance to talk to you" look.

Ugh.

In any event, YES, this stuff works on guys. In fact, it works on just about
everyone. Damn shame you even need to ask.

 ***QUESTION***
Hi David!
I just broke up with my wife of six years. So I'm starting the game again.  I
went to a club this past weekend and saw a very nice looking girl. She was
looking at me a lot. So I waited around ten minutes and then approach and
asked her, "Are you shy or something?"  She said, Why?  And I told her
"Because I've been standing here for around ten minutes and you
still haven't said hi to me." As you can imagine she burst laughing.  So I
said, Hey, I'm glad you know how to laugh.  She said, So, is this the way
you go out meeting girls. I said, Nah, it's that every time I go to some
place that have girls present they all seem to get very shy around
me, since I'm such a great looking, sexy man, AS you can see. (Said
with a wink).

She kind of blush and smile.  We talk for around ten minutes and I then said,
Well, let me see if I can find my friends around here, It was a
pleasure talking to you. When I was leaving I did your e-mail close and it
ran smoothly.  She put her phone number too and a note that said, "No, I'm
not shy, call me soon, C."  E.Q. From Puerto Rico PS. In your last mailbag
there was a guy who used the c&f routine with his ex wife as practice and it
worked to get her interested in him again. I was wondering what stuff he
told her and how he did it.  I'm very interested to know his technique to
 259

see if I can get my ex wife interested in me again.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, I LOVE the story. That's pure gold.

If you're reading this right now and you want a KILLER example of Cocky
and Funny, read this about 25 times.

As for your ex, I don't know what the specifics were, but I will tell you this
much: After you've been in a relationship with someone and acted like a
WUSSY for many years, it makes a HUGE impression when you stop it and
start busting balls.

You know the formula, now think up some techniques.

 ***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave, You're going to luv this one....bought your book and like a kid in a
candy store was eager to prove it out....  I'm on this date with a 9/10 who
selected this outside Italian Cafe and insisted that it was her turn to pay.
Well, I started busted on her from the time I sat down. I enjoyed myself
immensely as i had NO expectations and therefore could not be
disappointed. I slipped my AMEX card to the waiter without her noticing and
when the eqchay comes, she looks at me and says:
It was my turn to pay....if you don't let me pay ...I'm not going out with you
anymore (serious look).

My response: (serious look back) If I let you pay what do i get in return?

Her Response: We're going back to your car and I'm going to give you a BJ
like you've never had and you don't even have to worry about making a
 260

mess cause i swallow.

My Response: (in my mind...holy sh** this stuff really works...well lets turn
it up a little..i'm enjoying this..i'm a natural teaser) No, lets be friends first...
(inside hahaha ...I could tell I was messing her up real good)

Her Response: Nothing (i believe she was in shock)

My response: Now If you say please, i'll let you pay.....

Her Response: Please...Please... (so i let her pay)

Next Day: I receive an email from her saying that she likes me even more
than ever before. Talk about amplifying the attraction and anticipation.....I'll
do her when I decide....hehehe...for now we're friends.....

Thanks Good Buddy  K

Toronto, Canada

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, I'd say that you're starting to get it. If you keep this up, you're going
to have this poor woman camping outside your door!

It's all about amplifying the attraction and the anticipation, and I'm glad you
understand what the heck that means.

This is another stellar example of Cocky and Funny in action... combined

with some other more advanced techniques. Nice.

 ***QUESTION***
Dave-
Your material does a great job bringing to the masses what are innate
 261

qualities in the naturally-successful-with-women types. Your book is almost a

study of human behavior, like something Dale Carnegie would write (I doubt
he was as successful with women though). Anyway, I have a problem with
one half of the magic formula, the 'cocky' part. I've always had success with
deadpan-style humor, with no facial expression whatsoever, and most of
the time people can't tell if I'm being funny or not based on my expression.
This is where I hit my problem: if I make a cocky/funny type comment, I'm
afraid I'll come off as arrogant if I don't give a smile or something. But in
your book it says something along the lines of things being funnier
if it's difficult to tell if you're joking. So my question is: Is it okay to smile
while being cocky and funny and busting on girls? Or should I keep a
straight face all the time? I'm not sure if this email makes any sense, but I
think you'll be able to figure it out. Great stuff, and hurry up with the next
book!  
BW Seattle
 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Here's the deal... when you're being Cocky and Funny, you must give up
your fear of coming across as overly arrogant. The secret lies within the
FUNNY ingredient of the formula.

A great model for Cocky and Funny is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. If you
haven't seen him, go search online and find his Star Wars video clip.
You'll laugh until you cry...

 Then, go find the Bon Jovi clip. Another masterpiece.

You'll notice that Triumph is RUTHLESS with the sarcastic comments... but
THEY'RE ALL FUNNY.

And when he feels like he may have gone over the top, he might throw in an
"I kid, I kid". It's rare, but he does do it on occasion.
 262

If you feel like your comment might have been taken too seriously, try a "sly
smile". It's a combination of squinting your eyes a little, pursing your lips,
and doing a slight half-mouthed smile. It's a nice touch.

In any event, you need to get over your fears, and get out there and do it!
You'll find the balance.
 263

 ***QUESTION***
David:
I have been using the techniques like C&F and have had a huge success.
Honest to God, i now have several girls on the ropes, and i have the luxury
of choosing my choice. It is wonderful. You are a genius. (i figured your ego
needed a little boost)
Now i have a situation on my hands. There is a new girl at my workplace,
who is very attractive and funny.  We get along great.  The other day i told
her about a concert that i am going to and she begged me, not just begged
but pleaded with me to get her a ticket.  Then within the next 5 minutes
she was asking me for my number and email address.
That is right asking me.  I made a smart remark along the lines of "I've only
been training you for 3 days and you are already hitting on me, damn
that has to be a new record...(dramatic pause) Most girls only take a couple
of minutes to see my un-resistable charm." I realize it isn't the greatest line
ever but it worked. She was all over it.  And retorted with "I always was the
stubborn one." So now she is emailing me, and calling me and always talking
to me and flirting with me at work. So far so good, here is where the
problem kicks in. The other night i am walking out from work and locking the
building and she looks over rolls her eyes, and sighs that her boyfriend is
here to pick her up.  the next day she came to work and was telling me that
she and her boyfriend are going to be breaking up soon and she doesn't
know when.  What do i do? I mean to me all the signs are there, how do i
field this one?  Do I even DARE field this one?  HELP
n.s  ND

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, two rules of thumb:

1) Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

2) Avoid women who are involved.

 264

Why? Because it's usually just plain short- sighted to do these things.

Some boyfriends are jealous and crazy, and if a workplace romance goes bad
(which they usually do), then it can create all kinds of weird vibes.

Trust me.

I have to comment, though... you're technique and flirting is FANTASTIC.

You're really onto something with this line of humor. I love it.

 ***QUESTION***

I may be a little skeptical, but I am 37 yrs old and have been divorced for 7
yrs. Although I have been told many times that I am an attractive guy I have
had one date in the last 3 years, and I think it is because I am also
overweight. I am 6'1" and weigh around 340 lbs. I am convinced that
women these days are not attracted to big guys like myself. I am also one of
those "nice guys". Do you really think that this cocky funny attitude that I
have been reading about would really work for a guy like me? I am willing to
try anything at this point

D.E. Scranton (Pa.)

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, I think it would DEFINITELY work for you. In fact, I think it will work
for anyone who applies themselves and figures it out.

We each have our own particular situation in life. No two are the same.

Some guys are rich and look like Brad Pitt, some guys are older and gray,
some are overweight, some are bald, and some are inexperienced.
 265

We each have our own strengths, weaknesses, and particular challenges in

life.
This is one of the great things about being alive. We get a particular hand
dealt to us, and it's one of the great joys in life to figure out how to best play
it.

Honestly, from the way you explained yourself, I think that you're unhappy
with your weight. In other words, it sounds to me like you've got MENTAL
limitations and self-image issues... so simple techniques alone probably
aren't going to solve your whole problem.

I'll bet that if you start working on your weight, while at the SAME TIME
practicing the techniques you've learned here with women, the
COMBINATION will yield better results.

When you improve two or more areas of your life at the same time, you'll
find that you often have far better than just twice the results. But try to
solve problems at the root, and not just at the
branch level alone.

 ***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
Wanted to let you know a technique I've come up with that combines two
points you've made in the past:

1) You can create attraction with contrast (e.g. busting on her verbally while
your actions are gentlemanly)

2) Don't dip your pen in the company ink

So I use the hotties at work as target practice, honing my game.  BUT - I

tone it down a bit and always do really nice things for them, like if they need
 266

someone to carry a box or open a drawer. So now they think I'm kind of
attractive, but also a bit of a wuss boy: not attractive enough for THEM to
date (keeping me out of trouble at work), but PERFECT for a friend of theirs.
Hotties hang with hotties, and so far I've been set up with three fiiiiiine
young ladies this way (note: it helps to work for a big company so you have
a good selection and distance between parties). Now, the friend has heard
that I'm a nice guy, so she's a little leery going into it - then WHAM! I bust
out as the Full Jedi Master. Once again, contrast added to c+f. (As one said,
"I heard you were kind of cute, but she didn't tell me how hot you really
are!"  For the record, I'm slightly above average.) So far I'm 3-for-3 scoring
major action on date one. I'm keeping it cool, because there is the 2nd-hand
work connection, so it can be a little tricky, but that's part of the fun.  I let
NO ONE get too close too soon, and things continue hot 'n' heavy at MY
pace, and everyone's happy. I don't know if this will work for everyone, but
it's sure worked for me.  You rock!!!

M.B. Chicago

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Great points.
Attractive women know other attractive women.

And practicing on women at work is great! You can also practice on

waitresses that work at restaurants you frequent, hostesses/receptionists
at places you go often, etc.

Women LOVE to have fun, chemically-charged interactions with men... even

if it's not leading to anything. So do practice whenever you can.

 ***QUESTION***

Okay....i bought the book, i read it and re-read it and re-read it. I had
 267

always been funny but a lot had been self-deprecating or witticisms that
were hysterical but required women to think and make the leap from A to B.
So, based on your book, I changed my ways.  I added "C" to my "F". Now,
I'm a Lindy Hop Swing dancer.  I dance at the clubs 4 times a week. go to
workshops. I own instructional tapes. I listen to swing music constantly.  I
even dream I'm dancing sometimes. So, when I go to a club i'm not just
going to meet women but also because i love dancing Lindy Hop.
IT WORKS!!!

 Before I ask my question, here's my success story. After reading all the e-
mails over and over and the book over and over, i made it a point to be C&F
even when i'm not interested.  One girl I asked to dance at a club said she
had to leave but "do you come here often?" she asked. I told her that we
only knew each other for a few minutes and ALREADY she was trying to pick
me up. I didn't mind, i said, but she should use a more original line. Another
girl I danced with messed up as she was dancing and her hand touched my
ass by mistake. I spent the rest of the dance accusing her of trying to grab
my ass because she liked it.
(her e-mail i got but i messed up the next bridge). But the clincher in my
mind that C&F works is this: I take a 3-hour dance class once a week and it
usually has the same people. One is this cute 19-year old.   She's not my
type and i'm not interested, but i still employ C&F whenever I see her, for
practice.  Well, this week out of the blue she says "I was talking to [Bob]
about you the other day."  Oh yeah? what did you say? i ask "I told him I
like you because you're a smart- ass."  My jaw practically dropped. I
maintained composure while on the inside i was screaming "HOLY SH**!!
THIS STUFF WORKS".  "smart-ass" was obviously "C&F". So, thank you and i
plan to continue using this. MY QUESTION!! So, here's the thing. Dancing
this much is a blessing and a curse. A lot of women want to dance with me,
but they ONLY want to dance (i've gotten quite good). Plus, i'm into the
dancing so i'll dance with several different women a night, and most likely
each women multiple times. How do I use C&F in these situations when A)
 268

Unless it's a slow song, you don't really have the opp to talk DURING the
dance B) If I get an e-mail/number, i'm still gonna be at the club the rest of
the night. Do I ask her to dance again? or do i ignore her? What if she asks
ME to dance again?   C) If I ignore her, i'm gonna see her as i walk around
looking for dance partners throughout the night, do i say anything as we
pass by? do i even smile at her? D) Can I use C&F on multiple women
throughout the night and get more than one e-mail or is that a bad idea? If
dancing were a means to an end for me, it might be easier, but i'm really
into this.
My job is just a means for me to be able to go dancing (that's how into it i
am). I know that I've got a potential gold mine at my feet since I dance. I've
heard that "if you can dance you can get any woman you want."  Well, I
couldn't, but i'm only now starting to see how i can thanks to C&F. But it's
only a beginning. Please help!!  By the way, i'll see you at your next LA
seminar!!!
G.
 >>>MY COMMENTS:

You've gone over your one question limit, but I'm going to give you a great
idea anyway.

First off, making jokes about a woman trying to pick you up, not being that
easy, being offended that she used such a cheap line, etc. is GREAT stuff.

  Here's the idea:

If I were you, I'd learn how to be Cocky and Funny WITHOUT
SAYING A WORD. If you're a great dancer, then I'm SURE you can come
up with 100 ways.

Maybe you could notice mistakes that a girl is making, then imitate them
over and over while keeping a look on your face of "Look at how cool I
am".
 269

Maybe you could incorporate some bizarre dance steps into a dance, then
insinuate that she's dancing that way.

One thing I like to do is MIRROR a woman, then EXAGGERATE some part of

what she's doing.

If she has good posture, I might sit up EXTRA straight and say, "You're
slumping".

Cocky and Funny isn't just a verbal thing.

Ohhh... now I'm letting the cat out of the bag.

By the way, if you're reading this right now and you've got some good
examples of non-verbal Cocky and Funny, write me an email. Send it to me
at:

SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com

 ***QUESTION***
Dave,
Your insight into women and how to attract them is dead-on. Being cocky
and funny works. Upon adopting your approach, my dating life improved
dramatically: I went from dating one woman last year to dating 10 women in
three months at the beginning of this year.

While dating is fun, like most guys, I eventually find one that I like and want
to pursue it further, i.e. become more serious.  The problem I've discovered
is that a lot of women in the age group I date (27-33) are resistant to this
due to the residual pain they carry with them (the proverbial "baggage")
from previous failed relationships or marriages. Rather than take a risk by
pursuing a relationship, they prevent it from progressing any further to avoid
 270

any emotional pain that might result if it fails.

Is this a common problem men my age (late '20s, early '30s) experience
(and should continue to expect to experience in the dating world), or am I
just being a wuss and need to get over it by dating younger women with less
baggage? Is there a way to employ the C&F routine to MAKE these women
overcome their indecision and want to be with you?

LOL,
B
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, as much as I avoid "Relationship" questions, I just have to comment on

this one.

First of all, I believe that MOST guys would prefer to be in a relationship with
a great women (over being single).

The problem is that amazing women are as rare as amazing men...

If you REALLY want to make a women become attached to you, then

you might want to try a paradoxical move...

Stop looking for a relationship.

If you communicate that you want a relationship, the natural response is

going to be for a woman to play Hard To Get.

If YOU do the playing of the Hard To Get, and you HOLD OFF on
showing the "relationship" level of interest, you'll find that the
woman will pursue the relationship with YOU.
 271

Think about it.

 ***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,

I like your newsletter and I really enjoyed your books. I have one problem
though. My sister, who is a socialite and seems to have a ton of really
attractive friends, has this one friend.  She's one of my sister's best friends
and is my age. The woman is incredible...definitely a 9 or 10. She's got this
really sweet personality, but also goofy at the same time. I know she's dated
pretty boy models and NHL hockey players before, but I know she's not too
superficial inside, since she broke things off with them after she was
unhappy. So even though I'm probably a 6 or 7, I think I may have a shot,
as I've heard she's recently single. Anyway, my problem is that I have
absolutely nothing I can bust on her about.  I don't know her well enough to
rag on those Ex bfs or anything. Most of our conversations revolve around
our mutual admiration for my cat.... So any past encounters we've had have
been in 'wuss' mode.
What would be your approach to this situation?

Thanks,
C.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Say what?
You have "absolutely nothing" you can bust on her about?

You really need to get a couple of books on comedy, my man.

What color hair does she have? If it's blonde, learn some blonde jokes... if
it's brunette, learn some brunette jokes.
Is she tall? Bust on her height.
 272

Is she short? Bust on her vertically challenged-ness.

And by the way, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A CAT?

Don't even get me started on the jokes you can make about her being more
interested in the pussy than in you. I could write a book of lesbian jokes
based on your one-paragraph email alone... and I've never even met this girl
myself.

Are you starting to get the picture?

 ***QUESTION***

Dave,
I bought your book and I have been able to successfully use your method.
Last knight I picked up this girl at a lounge by accusing her of being a liar. I
struck up a conversation and started doing the small talk thing (no wuss
topics). I then ask her about her age, she leaned over and whispered in my
ear that she was 20 years old. I heard her loud and clear. But when she
turned her attention elsewhere I ask one of her friends that she was with
(who was also very hot) If the girl I was speaking to was really 26 years old,
(all at the same time giving of the impression that I wasn't really convinced)
Surprised she turned to her friend saying "You told him you're 26?". I then of
course accused lying so that she could have a better chance of hooking up
with me. I then proceed to tell her how often girls do this to me and how she
would have a much better chance with me by simply being herself. The boys
at this point were cracking up. This was all done in good fun and in a FUNNY
COCKY way, the girls knew I was joking but at the same time they were not
100% sure, this really played on their curiosity. My Question, Should I make
eye contact with a girl before talking to her or should I just make her feel
like she doesn't exist first and then proceed to hitting on her? Also is
it bad to stand at the bar and check out the women? Does this make you
 273

seem needy? In other words what's the best way of working the room
before I start to talk.

thanks. CA

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Another masterpiece of Cocky and Funny. This is great... I can feel more and
more guys are getting it.

And about eye contact.

Eye contact is VERY powerful.

I recommend that if you make eye contact with a woman, keep it until SHE
looks away. By the way, this is a great exercise. Just go out and make eye
contact with as many women as you can... and keep it until they look away.

If you're already talking to a woman, you're going to have to work with the
situation.

In some situations, you're going to want to be aloof, and in some you're

going to want to be intense.

Just remember not to look away because you're nervous or afraid. Women
can detect weakness very quickly, and they turn off like a light switch
when they do.

If you want to "check out women", just make sure you don't look like a loser
that has no life and is planning to use the images you're taking in for future
solo fantasy role play.
Don't look desperate.
 274

Women are turned off by guys who have that "I'm not worthy" look... and
they're turned ON by guys who have that "You are interesting to me, but not
so much so that I'd give blood just to talk to you" look.

 ***QUESTION***

OK, Dave, what's wrong?  Why won't you put my letters in your mailbag?  I
NEED HELP!!!!   But, yet, you refuse to help me! Your stuff makes sense, yet
it seems impossible to use.  And so, I get all depressed because what you
say makes me feel like a loser. I have zero confidence in myself and I can't
make anyone laugh.  I am 20 years old. I have never had a real girlfriend.  I
don't have any friends.  My 5 guys I am forced to live with are not friends
(but we get along fine). They all get girls, but won't help me.  They all make
me feel like a complete loser indirectly. Just like you do.  Oh, using C&F is
totally unnatural as hell for me, and I could never use it enough to be very
successful.  But, I also realize being the nice guy and buying stuff for women
is also unnatural for me.  I NEVER flirt.  I NEVER compliment women for any
reason whatsoever. I NEVER buy women gifts. I do, however, pay for women
on dates (which I haven't been on any is 18 months).  I can't make myself
talk to girls unless I have a reason other than because I wanna date them. I
can't ask women out on dates. I am convinced I will be rejected, so I don't
even try. Even when I do talk to women, I can't make it move on to the
next level. Women never even become my friends!  They never move
beyond acquaintance level. It just offends me VERY much that you won't
even attempt to give ME personal advice!

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

I'm going to use my psychic powers to guess the correct spelling of your
name.
 275

  Keep in mind, I don't even know your name, so getting the spelling correct
could be considered to be basically impossible.

  Oh, I'm getting something...

  W...

  U...

  S...

  S...

  Y...

Wow, what an unusual name. I don't recall ever meeting a guy with that
name before.
Oh, wait a minute... maybe I HAVE met a guy or two with that name.

Hey, in fact, I've met a LOT of guys with names like yours.

OK, enough of the obvious. Let's talk action.

You really need to get over your victim mentality, man. Read some self-help
books, do some visualization and affirmation exercises... maybe go to a
seminar or ten.

Before you're going to have ANY success with women, you're going to need
to overcome your negative view of reality and life.

Women HATE all of the qualities you're demonstrating right now. Qualities
like:
 276

Negativity - Pessimism - Whiny ness – Victim Minded

Get the picture?

I'm giving you some tough love here, but you sound like you really need it.
Women (and people in general) don't want to help those who whine and
complain. Start working on yourself, and keep going until you begin to find
techniques that make you feel more secure, stable and self-sufficient.

It's probably going to take a pretty big commitment, but I believe that
anyone can get to the next level if they really want to.

 ***COMMENT***
Dear Dave:
I've noticed a lot of emails lately (and I hear this from my friends all the
time): "This stuff is great, and it attracts women, but when do you just get
to be yourself?" You reply to these emails something like this: "Never. Make
the C&F changes permanent." My contribution is an analogy that might help
the guys who resist this advice see the error of your ways:

Let's say that you meet a beautiful, intelligent, and above all, SEXY woman.
You start going out with her and loving it. Suddenly, though, as she gets
comfortable with the relationship, she stops dressing sexy and wears only
jogging outfits. She stops working and starts over-eating; soon she's fat. To
top this off, she doesn't feel the need to "impress" you anymore and frankly
talks about her health problems, etc. (her conversations begin to get
annoying). She even farts and belches around you.

The point of this is, the things that were attracting you to her all stopped as
she got comfortable with the relationship. She feels so "comfortable" that
she doesn't feel the need to exert any effort in keeping you attracted.
 277

See the parallel? It's obvious to me, but let me explain for the benefit of the
thick-headed: When you stop doing the things that attracted her to you, you
are exactly like the hottie that lets herself go. The degree to which you "let
yourself go" will determine whether or not she dumps you or starts cheating
on you.  Hope this helps.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, I think I'm going to hire all the guys who wrote in this week and
just let them write these newsletters from now on.

What do you say?

Your analogy is great. I wish I would have said that.

 ***QUESTION***
Dave,
First, I have purchased your "double your dating" from your website.  Your
book and extra's have enriched my life.  I had a beautiful woman sit down
next to me on the train on my ride into work. I could feel she was interested
but I was scared. I didn't want to make an obvious come on with so many
people around.  So I did nothing and missed an opportunity to meet an ultra
beautiful woman. How can I prevent this from happening in the future? How
can I discreetly approach a woman in this situation?  I'm not interested in
becoming comic entertainment for the morning rush crowd.  G

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Say what?

You didn't want to make an "obvious come on with other people around"?

What? Did you want to become her friend and shopping buddy, then two
years later spring an "I love you" on her in the middle of the girdle aisle
 278

at Macy's?
Or did you miss the part where I said in Double Your Dating not to hide the
fact that you're interested?

You really need to get over this idea that making it obvious that you're not
just interested in "friendship" isn't considered bad by women...
and that if you try to hide it, you're only shooting yourself in the foot.

And by the way, if you're "not in the mood" to make a woman laugh in front
of the morning crowd, then what are you going to do... charm her with
your boring, un-funny creativity?

Think about what you're asking me.

You need to get over what other people think, and get into making
things happen regardless of who's watching or listening.

This alone is a trait that creates ATTRACTION.

Of course, if you REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be "discreet" about it, you
could hand her a note that says, "I was going to say some funny stuff, but I
didn't want anyone to think that I was picking up on you. If you couldn't tell,
I'm kind of a Wuss, but don't let that stop you from calling me later."

In short, the way to prevent this in the future, is to BE READY for the
situation. Plan out what you're going to do NEXT TIME, and be totally
ready when it happens. If you mentally prepare for the 10 most
common situations that you find yourself in, you'll DRAMATICALLY
increase your success.
 279

 ***QUESTION***
Hey dave I really enjoyed reading your e-book. It taught me so much more
than all your newsletters have. To every one reading this right now buy the
book it's the best $20 I have ever spent I would even have paid up to $200
for it I’m serious. I went to the beach the next day after reading your book
and used your techniques, but I am kind of shy but I figured out how to have
women approach you... give up. Volley ball. It's so awesome the chicks will
just approach you and ask to play, and you have an excuse not to wear a
shirt show off your body and not make it look like your showing off. Me being
only 5'2 with a muscular built. I will always say "I'm prejudice of the fact
that you’re taller than me...but I can accept you for who you are"
awesome line for all you short guys. I do have a question though I can't
seem to figure out a cocky funny line if A girl tell you that you have a
big/nice muscles. Also I can't come out with any thing to say while playing
volley ball.  Most of what I say comes off as arrogant. For example if she
would miss I would say "what the hell was that" yes I know smooth lines. I
would appreciate your help on this one I think other guys would to. I cant
wait until your next book and seminar tapes come out.  
your friend
CL - maine

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, verrrrry nice. Great thinking.

And if a woman says, "You have nice muscles", just look back at her with a
serious face and say:

"You know, I'm really tired of you women treating me like some kind
of piece of meat. I have feelings too, and I don't just like being
thought of as a sex object."
 280

I have a friend that uses this with amazing success.

Oh, and if there's anyone else out there who had purchased my book and
found that it was worth $160.00 more than they paid, feel free to contact
me and I can arrange to accept the additional payment.

Approaching Women And 'Getting Physical'

***QUESTION***

Dave, your work has really changed my life. A buddy of mine introduced me
to the whole C&F deal, signed me up for your newsletters, and I've recently
purchased the books. I'm now currently passing on the ways of The Force to
a complete wussbag friend who, like me, was brought up to treat women
nicely and avoid talking about sexual things because it's "too forward". Well,
as you're covered a million times, we're programmed by our mothers to be
total wussies from the day we're born.

I realized that in my past when I've not cared and was totally C&F and she
got it, I ended up on dates. Unfortunately, I didn't know better back then
and would morph into wuss mode because "it's what they want" and
eventually I was just another friend. Anyway, it hasn't taken long for much
of your teachings to make sense. The more I bust their balls the better
things always seem, and when I can't find the ball busting material I pull
the James Bond stance, cock the head to one side, and stand near them like
I know they want it... and I'm just the man to give it to them!  Believe
me guys, exuding confidence is by far the biggest improvement you'll make
to your game.  Ok, on to the success story.  First, I met this fairly hot
chick (7.5) at the bar a couple weeks back. At first I was out of it, didn't
know what to say (was a long day), and when my buddy was working
her friend I just wandered off after just saying hi. I got my beer, wandered
back after taking a time out to come up with a few lines and that's when
things got interesting.  I could tell that she was sort a confused that I just
 281

said hi and walked off and didn't just stay there while my buddy worked.
Awesome.  So I come back, busted on her a bunch, then wandered off...
again. In the mean time my buddy was still struggling away with her chunky
and not-so-hot friend.  Sidenote: he's the "wuss" I refer to earlier that I'm
currently trying to train. Things move on, I go talk to my other buddies who
are with us, see her on the dance floor (buddy still in tow with "The Friend"),
and now I'm getting warmed up with the C&F.  I see this dude with the
ugliest sweater ever created, point it out to her, and I asked her if she
thought he had skinned his couch to make that thing.  She loved it, got the
e-mail, and the rest is history in progress.  Dropped her quite a few cocky e-
mails, she sent the phone number...
To close this up, two comments and a question. First, it's strange but true
that when you ignore them they pay more attention to you.  Second,
had she not played the "we're drunk, lets not have sex" card I would have
surely closed the deal... on our first time out after the bar meeting.

Dave, your teachings are truly amazing.  I do have one question for you. I
KNOW you're not supposed to buy everything because it's wussy (and
expensive), but what do you do when you're out, you get round one
because you lost a bet to this chick, and when round two comes she just sits
there expecting you to buy? Fortunately, she's a cheap drunk, but
unfortunately I bought all the booze that night. I went as far as looking at
her and saying "well I guess I've got this round too, huh?" when she sat
there.  Like I said, round one was on me because of a bet and that's all I
wanted to pay for. I want to go out with her again, but I don't want to get
stuck with a $50 dinner tab. Thanks for any advice.

JMS Detroit
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, I'd first like to comment on your story of how you met this particular
girl.  You've really provided a great example of how to be very DIFFERENT
 282

than most guys, and how to integrate a lot of my ideas together and
successfully apply them.

The idea of walking up to a woman, saying "hi", and then WALKING AWAY is
great (only if you're reasonably sure that you're going to see her again... like
in a typical bar scenario).

What do MOST guys do?

They start talking to a woman, KEEP talking to her, try to get a "normal"
conversation going, try to buy her a drink, etc.

In your case, you TEASED her mind by doing something unexpected... you
said hi, then walked away.

This leaves her to wonder things like:

"Why did he leave?"

"Maybe he thought I was attractive, but then when I opened my

mouth he didn't like my personality."

"Why didn't he offer to buy me a drink or come on to me like the other guys
here?"

  ...etc. etc. etc.

  The point is that when you start talking, then

walk away, then start talking again, then walk
away it demonstrates that you're VERY different
from the other guys in the bar who are all acting
the same.
 283

It shows that you have self control, that you have things to do, that you
could take her or leave her...

And when you ADD to this the Cocky & Funny attitude and humor, it creates
a VERY unusual experience for the woman... she's now talking to a guy who
seems TOTALLY in control of himself... a guy who is not only unpredictable,
but is also interesting and funny to talk to (good things, by the way).

Next, your idea of making a bet to see who buys the drinks is GREAT. I really
like it.

If I were you, I'd just keep betting for each round of drinks... hey, if it
worked once, why stop? It keeps things fun as well.

And if you're going to KEEP paying for drinks, you need to say "So what am
I going to get out of this deal? Don't think just because I'm buying
you a drink that I'm going to take you home with me."

Tell her that she owes you a two hour full-body massage in return. Tell her
that you can BUY a woman in other parts of the world for the price of
her bar tab.

OK, one of the things you mentioned was that she said: "We're drunk, let's
not have sex".

If I were you, I'd get out the bonus booklet that you got when you
downloaded Double Your Dating... the one called "Sex Secrets". The problem
you were most likely dealing with is that you made some type of sexual
advance before she was EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY turned on
enough.

When you really pay attention to what I teach in Sex Secrets, you'll begin to
 284

understand how to really AMPLIFY and accelerate her arousal, and how
to get her to the point where SHE is the one that's telling YOU that she
wants to move to the next step (and she'll be telling you with her body
most likely, not her words).

Go read it again.

And to address your question about paying for drinks and dates...

The reality of the situation is that most women EXPECT a man to pay for a
date.

I've had this conversation with MANY, MANY women, and when I challenge
them and explain that it sets up an imbalance when a man starts paying
for things in the beginning, most women start saying things like:

"I don't like cheap men."

"A gentleman will always pay for a lady."

"I don't want a guy who can't afford to take me out."

"I don't want a guy that I have to support."

"A guy is lucky to be with me, and he should pay."

I can feel the hair standing up on the backs of the necks of men and women
all over the world who are reading this right now.

To be fair, I have met SEVERAL women who disagree with this kind of
thinking... women who are independent, self sufficient, and who aren't
interested in finding a guy who will pay their way.
 285

But in GENERAL, this is what you're going to run into.

Many women actually don't think of it as a man "paying" for them. They
don't even think about the money itself.

They actually believe that a "gentleman" is supposed to always be the one

who pays... that it was HIM who offered to take HER out... and that just
because she's female that she deserves to be treated to free food and
entertainment.

HELL, MY OWN MOM EVEN THINKS THIS WAY! lol...

(I think it's funny now, but I wish she would have told me what was REALLY
going on about 20 years ago, instead of making me figure it all out myself.)

Am I starting to rant?

OK, random thought:

If a woman says, "Just because a guy takes me out and buys me a nice
dinner doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with him".  Does that mean what
she's really saying is that SOMETIMES when a man takes her out and buys
her dinner that it means she IS going to sleep with him?

WHATEVER.

Now that we've talked psychology, let's talk action.

In my humble, personal opinion, the best way to avoid having to pay for a
woman's dinner is to NOT TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I know that it seems obvious, and you've heard me say this in 100 different
 286

ways, but you REALLY CAN avoid paying for things by just avoiding the
SITUATIONS.

If you don't want to pay for drinks, don't go to bars.

If you don't want to pay for dinner, don't go out to restaurants.

If you don't want to pay for diamonds, avoid jewelry stores.

There are a MILLION other great ideas out there, and a MILLION other MORE
INTERESTING things to do.

And remember the most IMPORTANT reason why you don't want to start by
paying for things:

IT SETS YOU UP AS A PROVIDER IN HER MIND.

Don't worry about PAYING for things, only be concerned with creating the
emotion called ATTRACTION inside of her. That's it.

If she feels a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then nothing else
matters.

Look around.

There are beautiful, intelligent, successful women that you probably know
RIGHT NOW who are with guys who mistreat them... guys who the women
even have to support entirely in many cases...

WHY?

Well, it all started with ATTRACTION.

 287

  Do three things:

1) Avoid traditional situations that automatically set you up to pay for things.

2) Think through and plan interesting experiences for women. Go places and
do things that naturally create an interesting, fun time... and avoid places
that naturally create a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere.

3) Invest in my Advanced Dating Techniques program. You are ready for the
next step, and this is it.

Now that you understand some of the basic psychology of ATTRACTION, it's
time for you to learn the ADVANCED STUFF.

In my Advanced Series, I'll take you BEHIND THE SCENES and I'll show you
the SECRETS.

I'll teach you things like:

* How to overcome your fear and improve your self image to the point where
approaching women no longer scares you or makes you nervous in any way

* How to meet women online... including word- for-word transcripts and

profiles I've used in the real world to meet women that most men would DIE
to date

* How to do things that get women so turned on that they are literally
ASKING you to sleep with them

  ...and much, much more...

  If you'd like to learn how to turn on what I

 288

call your "Power Sexuality", then I recommend that you check out my
program... that's called... POWER SEXUALITY.

Inside this program, I'm going to teach you about this VERY important
aspect of success with women.

See, most guys walk around in the world... and they're INCREDIBLY insecure
about their sexuality.

They have no sexual CONFIDENCE.

And guess what? Women can SMELL that they have no sexual confidence.

This lack of sexual confidence creates problems at ALL stages of meeting and
dating women... not just at the "end" when you're getting physical.

If you have no sexual confidence, then you're going to be insecure when you
approach women.

You're going to be fearful when you call women to set up times to meet up.

You're going to be afraid to kiss them.

In a nutshell, if you have no sexual confidence, it will screw up ALL of your

success.

And if you'd like to learn how to CHANGE this... and how to GROW your
sexual confidence, then this program is REALLY going to help you.
 289

Should You "Wait To Call Her Back"?

If you've seen the classic cult movie "Swingers", then you probably
remember the part where the guys are discussing how long a guy
should wait to call a woman after he's gotten her phone number.

The scene really hits home for a lot of guys because it gets down to a real-
world situation that we all confront and ponder.

I get a lot of emails from guys asking me what to do in this very situation.

The more I've thought about it, the more I realize that this particular
question (and the answer to it) are part of a bigger, more important
CONCEPT about how to deal with women.

  Let me explain.

When a guy asks me "How long should I wait to call her?" this immediately
tells me a few of things:

1) The guy doesn't feel like he's in control of the situation. If he felt like he
was in control, then it he wouldn't ask, because it wouldn't matter.

2) The guy doesn't really "get" how male/female attraction works. If he did
get it, then he'd be thinking in those terms rather than trying to figure out
the exact best amount of time to wait before calling.

To put it differently, the "when do I call her back?" problem is part of a

bigger concept, and once you understand that bigger concept better,
then you'll have an automatic feel for when to call a woman back.

Most guys don't "get" one simple point:

 290

If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION for you, then you must behave
differently than if you want her to feel that "just friends" feeling.

In the world of ATTRACTION, things are completely different.

For instance, our moms taught all of us guys to "be nice" to women. This
usually includes being sweet and complimentary when first meeting them,
answering all of their questions directly, and giving them what they want
when they want it.

But if you want a woman to feel that INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION right
from the beginning, then you're going to have to put aside this kind of
thinking, and start learning some NEW ideas.

For instance:

1) A challenge is generally attractive to women.

2) Teasing and being evasive is generally attractive to women.

3) Making fun of a woman's appearance in a flirty way, as counter-

intuitive as it might sound, can lead to ATTRACTION.

I'm trying to communicate the idea that when you're dealing with
ATTRACTION, you have to put aside old "normal" ways of thinking and
behaving.

I would like to mention one more point before getting into the specifics
here...

These days, people are becoming very sensitive to having "techniques" used
on them.
 291

If a salesman uses a sales technique on us, we immediately get defensive

and resistant.

If a panhandler asks for money in a way that smells of "technique" we pass

them by without pity.

If a business treats us like a "thing" or a number instead of an individual

person, we avoid them or buy elsewhere.

We humans don't like having manipulation techniques used on us, and when
we detect that someone or something is using one to get the better of us, we
resist.

So let's get back to the "how long to wait before calling her back" issue.

If you think about it, every situation is slightly different. One time you might
meet a woman in the morning at coffee, and another time you might meet a
woman at a club at 1 in the morning.

If you wait too long to call her back, I think you run the risk of seeming like
you're just using a technique on her and you come across as a player who's
trying to do your thing on her.

When deciding how long to wait before you call or email, I think it's
important to ask yourself this question:

"What will likely INCREASE THE ATTRACTION in this situation?"

Here are a couple of ideas I have used with great success:

1) Email instead of calling first. I personally email the next day. I'll start with
a charming email to get the conversation started and then tell her that I'm
 292

going to call in a day or two. This has the effect of making contact with her
relatively quickly, but still creating anticipation because you haven't actually
talked.

2) Call the next day, and make a joke about the situation. I might call and
say, "Yeah, I was watching Swingers and they said to wait three days to call,
but I was kind of in more of a one day mood..."

If you didn't get her email address and you MUST use the phone, just do
your best to avoid being AVERAGE.

I personally believe that our attention spans as humans are getting shorter
and shorter. We have more and more information coming in from television,
newspapers and other sources – and we're getting cultural A.D.D. I think
that if you wait too long, you're risking either being seen as using a
technique, or risking being forgotten altogether.

But if you make the opposite mistake and call too soon (for instance a few
hours later), you run the risk of being seen as a needy Wuss who has no
life.

In past newsletters, I have written about why it's important to leave

immediately after getting a woman's email and/or number.

How long you should wait to call her back is a natural extension of this.

As a matter of fact, if you get a woman's email/number and then you keep
coming over to talk to her, it can almost be seen as waiting 5 minutes
to call her.

There's no anticipation, and it says all the wrong things.

 293

  A couple of other quick pointers for when you're making that first call:

1) Be busy. If you're going to ask her to join you for tea or something
similar, make sure you mention two times that you're busy for every one
time that you're available.

2) Don't linger on the phone. Make that first call short and to the point. If
you stay on the phone for more than a few minutes, you're running the
risk of getting into a normal "What do you do?", "Where do you live?",
"Where did you go to school?" conversation. Avoid this.

  To summarize, when in doubt wait a day or so to contact her again.

But more importantly, think about the situation in terms of

anticipation and ATTRACTION, so when you do make contact it
creates the correct
context.

Making A Good First Impression On Her

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Jealousy is an interesting emotion.

Some believe that it's the most POWERFUL emotion.

Generally speaking, if a woman knows that you're seeing other women, it

will make you more attractive.

But you must be careful.

Jealousy can make people crazy... and it can lead otherwise normal people
to do all kinds of insane things. If you make the wrong person jealous, they
 294

can turn into a stalker...

That said, my perspective is that you need to live your life and not worry
about what others think of you.

This trait will lead to women finding you more attractive in and of itself.

If you're always worrying about whether a woman will be upset because she
sees you out with another woman, then you'll be acting like a wussy
all night because you're scared.

On the other hand, if you could care less what others think of you, then it
will project into all other areas of your behavior, and will lead to other good
things.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey big D-
I've been getting your newsletter for a while now, and man has it helped-
you're a genius! Every Friday night I go out to parties, but there's usually the
same people there, so they'd notice if I drastically changed how I act, so I've
been working in your techniques bit by bit, and most everyone just thinks
I'm finally coming out of my shell.

Last Friday night I was there and there was this new girl from another
school- she'd never seen me before, so I figured I had nothing to lose.  I
went over to her and went all out. She was wearing one of those shirts that's
just a strap in the back- basically a half-shirt. I walked right up to her and
said, "Ya know, when someone wears that kind of thing, it can only
mean one thing." She pulled one of those half-smile "I'm hot and I know
it- just give me your stupid line and go away" looks.  So I said, "It means
you can't afford an entire shirt, and you were just hoping no one
would notice since it's dark in here."
 295

Needless to say, she was caught off guard. She started to get a mad look on
her face, so I gave her crap about not being able to take a joke, and
mentioned that it's a good thing she could at least afford an entire pair of
pants.  Finally she laughed, and said, "What, you don't like my shirt?" and
kind of pouted.  So I said, "It's not bad, but it'd look even better on the floor
of my bedroom." Ya know, those really cheezy pick up lines can actually
work if you deliver them sarcastically so the girl knows you're making fun
of people that use them for real. Another kind of backward logic that works,
so ya just use it, I guess.  Anyway, about a minute later I got her to give me
her e-mail address and number, and I walked away. A couple days later I
sent her an e-mail saying it was nice to meet her and if she wanted to see
me I'd be there the next week. She replied the same day saying she'd be
there – and that's tonight.  I'm off to go there now, so I'll be sure to fill you
in on how things go on our "second time."

Thanks again, David! T in CO

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Love it! Great work, and good job sticking it out through those first
couple of minutes of conversation.

 ***COMMENT***
Hey what’s going on Dave?
I don't have a question, cause i have the C/F down patt. So the other night i
decided to take it a little further. I was with this girl and then after a while, i
knew that she wanted to start to get busy, so I TEASED HER!!!! I don't
wanna get into much boring detail, but I made her want it more, it was like i
owned her. It was great. And the best part here, i've only received now 2 e-
mails from you. The 2nd one was the one with questions and stories... and i
got it the day after.  What can i say, i'm a natural. Thanks dave, keep the e-
mails comming... soon to get the book.
A Saskatoon, SK
 296

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, a man who gets it.
It's hard for most guys to lean back and not give a woman what she wants in
the moment.

But, if you can just hold back, tease, and let the anticipation build up... and
learn how to amplify a woman's feelings by doing this, you'll get so much
further, so much faster.

On the other hand, if you try to keep pushing forward always, you'll run into
resistance at every turn... and wind up frustrated because she's telling you
to stop.

Nice moves.

***QUESTION***
Hows it goin, dave? Just wanted to start off by saying ive read your book and
the c&f techniques have worked wonders.  But, lately ive been having a bit
of a problem.  See ive had this one girl who has been my good friend for a
few years now, and she’s always set me up with her friends etc. ppl always
joke about how we should get married and everything and we just laugh...
but lately im realizing that i really do like her.  I’m at a total loss on how i
should confront her (the 3-5 minute c&f routine doesn’t really apply here!),
and need some tips/ideas from turning a 'just friend' into a girlfriend.

Thanks in advance,
--CJ from Austin
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, you're an interesting guy.
Most guys who have a golden goose (her) that is laying (no pun intended)
golden eggs (her friends) wouldn't be so quick to try to hook up.
 297

Think about what you're risking here...

If things don't work out with her, you're going to most likely be out of luck as
far as the getting hooked up with the girlfriends... and you'll probably lose
her as a friend as well.
These things aren't certainties, but they're a pretty good bet.

If you want to see if she's interested in you, try using the Kiss Test on her
(it's on the second page of my main web site, and in my book). It works
wonders.

***QUESTION***

you are the man. i think people should put a monument for u. the C&F
routine had worked wonders for me. im actually now getting digits and e-
mail. But this C&F routine got me thinking. Your great methods are now
probably in the hands of a million guys or even more, so if two guys playing
the C&F on the same girl, who will she choose? like I mean, do we have then
add another part to our character? And another question, won’t these babes
get tired of us guys of approaching them with the same C&F routine??? i
think they will need something different in their lives so wont they go
for the jerks or some other people???? u gotta answer these questions for
the sake of humanity!!!!

U.W Israel

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, for the sake of humanity, here's the deal:

Most guys just want to meet a nice girl and settle down into a relationship.
My materials help guys do that FASTER than they would have before,
and date more women in the process, so they eventually meet a BETTER girl
in which to have a relationship than they would have before.
 298

And you don't have to worry... there are plenty of women out there.

***QUESTION***
Dear Dave,
I want to thank you for all of the help. I admit, I used to be a Wussy.  I know
this now. But I recently started working at a store and found a lady there to
be very attractive.  I had never asked a lady out before, because of my
shyness, and being use to them just confronting me or having their friends
do it. I was ready for a change in this and decided to use your techniques.
I used your techniques and simply asked the lady out with a C&F approach.
Needless to say, after work tonight we were eating out and SHE actually
requested we go to a more 'Private' location nearby.  I kept the C&F routine
rolling all night.
Having to be at work the next morning we decided to head for home.
Keeping up the C&F routine I ended up with her number and she suggested
that we go out the next night (tomorrow night).  I learned a lot about her
and these bring me to some questions.

She wanted to talk about our lives the whole night. I kept up the 'Is this a
job interview?' stance and kept off of the normal subjects.  But she kept
coming back to these subjects.  How do you get off of these subjects/
questions if they keep insisting?  Also, she and I are religious people, and I
am not after the normal 'one thing.' I’m after a relationship.  Keeping in
mind that we are both religious, but sex is not out of the question
completely, how do I still make her feel attracted to me?  I also want to say
thank you for bringing light to the subject of women and God Bless you for
all of the help.  You are simply THE MAN!

Many thanks, Greatful Virginia

>>>MY COMMENTS:
I think you're on the right track.
 299

If you're looking for a relationship with this woman, and you're not going to
have sex with her before that point or before marriage, then you're OK
talking about "normal" topics.

The Cocky & Funny material will only make you more attractive to her, so
make sure you ask HER the kinds of questions you want the answers to,
and make sure that SHE is the right girl for you.

Thanks for the email.

 ***QUESTION***
Hi Dave.
I've read your book and i totally agree with your C&F attitude (it has worked
for me). Anyway, here are some facts about me: I'm 21, live in Greece,
really handsome, never done a PICK UP (get her number). Although i look
older and...experienced, i'm quite inexperienced with women. I'd appreciate
if you answered a specific question. Here is the situation i have been maaany
times: I'm sitting with a friend of mine in a cafeteria. 3 or 4 meters away
there is a table with 2-3 girls chatting or playing a board game. I "catch" one
of them staring at me with that silly expression that says "I LIKE YOU". What
should I do? I should immediately stand up and approach their table with
confidence. Then what? I'd like you to tell me the EXACT words i should use.

I look forward to hear from you.

Aris P.
P.S. Please forget about the email. The target here is clear: Her mobile
phone number

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, this is going to sound simple... and it is.
The first thing you need to understand is that if a woman likes you, then
she's VERY likely to give you her phone number, email address, or
 300

whatever. I even know a guy who gets women's addresses and a map to
their house when he first meets them. Really.

You need to just start talking to women.

Walk over to the table, say, "Hi" to one of the girls, and then ask her a few
questions about herself.  Finally, say "It was nice talking to you... I'm going
to get back to my friends." As you turn to walk away, turn back and say,
"Hey! Do you have a mobile phone?" If she says "yes", then give her a pen,
and say "Write down your number, I'd like to talk to you again."

It really is that simple.

You need to do that about 100 times in the next month.
You'll learn so much that you won't believe it.
Do it!

***QUESTION***
Dave,
I bought your book about a month ago and I have used some of your
techniques to success. There is this girl I like at my bank and who I thought
liked me. The problem is I let the beauty get the best of me. I bought your
book after I met her in hopes to getting her. Well I used some charm by
dropping a card through the drive through and writing if she wanted to go
out Sunday night. Let me tell ya she melted and told me that no one has
ever did that for her before. She told me to give her my number and that
she would call me for Sunday night. Well Sunday rolled around and she
didn't call but the next time I saw her she turned red and greeted me with a
smile and the apologetic excuse that I was away this weekend and I feel so
bad I didn't call you and then she bowed her head and said she was sorry
but didn't say she would call. I asked two of my friends one c+f guy who
has great success with girls and he said you should have told her "playing
hard to get" and laugh at her excuse to get her thinking. While my other
 301

friend who seems like a wuss at times but also gets laid quite often said to
be up front and say what happened and lets try again. What do you think I
should do? Should I say anything? Its been a month but I see her about 3X a
week at the bank. Plus she is always telling the other tellers I look hot by the
way I dress--Armani guy and that I am well off because I drive a real nice
SUV. My gut feeling is to move on. Thanks.

J in Ct.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, at this stage in the game, I'd recommend that you ALWAYS get her
number and email.

You be the one to email and call her first.

This way you can follow up, and she knows that you know how to get a hold
of her.

The card and the asking her out on a "date" was probably a little too much,
in my opinion.

When you do things like this, you come across as overly interested.

Better to say "Hey, give me your email", then to email and suggest a cup of
tea. Then, if tea goes well, suggest something else... and so on.
Let things progress naturally, and don't come on so strong in the beginning.

Here's what I'd do if I were you:

Next time you see her, say "OK, you're playing hard to get, but it's not
working on me (in a funny way). Give me your email and number, and
I'll call you in a few days."

Then get her info, and wait a few days to call her.
 302

When you do reach her, tell her that she owes you a cup of tea for being
flaky. And make her pay for it.

And make sure you don't act like a needy Wuss, OK?

***QUESTION***
Hello Dave,

I totally agree that success with women only comes when you
actually grab your balls, go out and do something about it - you
actually need to IMPROVE in all of the ways possible. Just recently i've
been concentrating on training my voice.

What advice would you give on how to best train your voice so it is
"attractive" to women – and generally conveys self-confidence and control?
By the way you sound great on your seminar CDs.

B London

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, let's summarize what you've said here:

1) You grab your balls when you go out to meet women.

2) You like the way my voice sounds.

I'm not sure about you, dude.

lol... the best things you can do to train your voice are:
 303

1) Speak slowly and clearly.

2) Put more bass in your voice... talk in a lower register.

3) Use pauses for effect.

There are several voice training teachers out there. Get online and
look for a tape series or book for more info.

***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,

Your material rocks, after Henry Ford, you are the man who has
changed America. I have one huge question. As you often say, women
test a lot and
do it by many different ways. I recently have come to a certain girl
who we call, a woman player. At some point, were everything I was
doing was going
well, she just said "I love you". I know that saying this on the first
date for a guy is a no- no, but what if she says it. I know that this
time it was a test, but what if this happens and the girl is serious?

 thank-you s-d
quebec

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, if you are interesting enough, you're going to have women

saying things like "I love you" all the time.

And, just like Hans Solo said to Princess Leia, you need to say...
"I know."
 304

Don't turn into Wussy Boy and say something dumb like... "really?".
And by the way, if a woman is SERIOUS when she says "I love you" on
the first date, then you need to be really, really careful... lol.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hi Dave

Bought the book a couple of days ago, printed it off yesterday (guess
that defeats the point of e-books, but it makes it easier to read sitting
on the toilet!) and read it. Went out on a date yesterday evening, and
suddenly I'm like a mind reader...

Had a date Friday, before reading the book. She said she doesn't even
want to talk to me again. Date last night (Sunday), was a bit cold and
wasn't opening up. Had a few beers, then told her I could tell her
things about herself that no- one's ever told her before. Did a few
minutes of that, she melted and asked me was reading a woman's
mind my party trick! Bear in mind I only picked this up from reading
the book, and threw in a bit of common sense and guess work into it
to make it sound good :-)

She went home to hers, I went back to mine. Asked her to text me on
my mobile when she got back home. She’s done that. She's already
emailed me
this morning too. Suddenly after all these years it's starting to make
sense...
Enough of my rambling, thank you for a damn fine book. It's very
early days, but already things are changing. Thanks again, keep up
the good work!

A.
 305

>>>MY COMMENTS:

It's funny, because I get a lot of emails from guys who say things like
"I downloaded your book today, and I sat and read it all the way
through... then I went out and got a girl's number", etc.

Of course, the best is when I get the success stories like yours from
guys who are taking the materials, and using them to get responses
from women that they've never gotten before.

Great job...

Is "Confidence" Attractive To Women?

>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:

A success story with a question and lessons learned the hard way.

Question:  perhaps you have addressed this before, but why do women
choose unstable "losers" over stable, "good guys" like me?  One may noticed
this and labeled it the "SPCA" syndrome: "Society for Prevention of Cruelty
to Animals." In other words, the woman goes for the "stray," not the
"well-bread."
I think it goes to the issue of challenge, which has two aspects. One is
"benign": the man has to be a challenge in the sense that he is not too
available. Another, which is negative, is the man is so "damaged" that he
presents a challenge in another, less benign way: the woman wants to "fix"
him.  I heard Dr. Laura the other day, although I usually cannot stand her.
Some dimwit woman called in and said she had been dating guy A, who
was nice, and was now dating A's friend, B, and she did not know what to
do. A was a good guy and stable, B was a lowlife but was "exciting." Dr.
"Queen of Life" jumped all over her, asking this genius how she would
 306

answer the same question if her own daughter asked her that question. It
was clear by the idiot's "OK" after being given this advice that she did not
get the answer she wanted and will probably stick with B.

Success story: Confidence.

1.  Parents and religion. About 10 years ago, I was dating a surgeon who
was Jewish.  I am not Jewish, so that made a big difference and was
ultimately one of two factors leading to our demise (the other was that I
could not trust her). She told me her parents did not approve of me
since I was non-Jewish. I just told her to her face, "I don't care what your
parents think.  I'm not here to please them."  I think this took her by
surprise and increased her respect for me.

You my want to do columns on these if you have not done so already:

dealing with parents; dealing with different religions.

2.  Signs that you are confident.  Every dating advisor stresses male
confidence. Watch the woman's actions and listen to her words to detect
if your confidence is "showing" or "hitting."  The surgeon gave me two of the
greatest compliments I ever received, which confirmed that I was "doing
things right."  Both were out of the blue.  One: "I can't figure you out."  Two:
"I never know what you are going to do next."

Suggestions:
1. Criteria.  Before arranging a blind date, be sure to the extent possible that
you ensure the woman meets your "criteria."  DO NOT BE SHY ABOUT THIS.
For example, a friend of mine (I will call her "A"), working through a friend of
hers ("B"), set me up with a blind date I will call "Carol". I drove about 30
minutes to meet the woman. When I saw her, I immediately knew I did not
like her looks.  The "clincher" occurred as we approached the hostess, who
asked us where we wanted to sit.
 307

"Carol" immediately said something like, "I have to sit somewhere I can
smoke." At that point, the date was effectively over because I am
vehemently nonsmoking. It is simply not negotiable with me. So, we sat at a
table to the side of the restaurant instead of a waterfront table.

LESSON: neither my friend nor I remembered to check for smoking. And,

while I went ahead and had the dinner, I lost about an hour's driving time
and the time and money for the meal with nothing in return. The experience
was a complete waste except to re-learn the lesson:  ensure the woman
is a nonsmoker.
Another interesting tactic would, after she said something about smoking, be
to say, "I'm sorry.  I did not realize you were a smoker. You know, really,
since I do not smoke the evening will be a waste of your time and mine, so
let's call it quits."  And then I should have then simply left.
The problem is that this action would have gotten me in trouble with my
good friend "A."

2.  Eject after her infidelity.  After you have been dating a woman and the
two of you have been exclusive, at the first sign of her infidelity, PUSH EJECT
AND DUMP HERE.  Infidelity is an irreparable breach of trust and cannot be
repaired. I tried to fix a relationship after such an incident, and she
continued to remain in touch with her "secondary lover."  Despite advice to
dump her and her continuing affection toward me, I held on for a few more
months, which were miserable, before finally pushing EJECT and unilaterally
dumping her with no warning or discussion.  The lesson is: pay attention to
what women DO, not to what they SAY.

C. J.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, thank you for taking the time to think this through and for clearly
communicating the points you've made. You've brought up some important
ideas, and I'd like to comment on them.
 308

ON THE DR. LAURA STORY AND YOUR QUESTION...

One of the things that Dr. Laura doesn't get in this particular situation goes a
little something like this: THE WOMAN IN THE STORY WASN'T USING LOGIC
TO DECIDE WHICH MAN TO FEEL ATTRACTED TO, SO TRYING TO CONVINCE
HER WITH LOGIC IS A WASTE OF TIME.

Now, you made some valid points about the woman enjoying the "challenge"
of the "stray" and/or of the "unavailable" guy.

This is good stuff, and it's accurate.

But, the REAL key to this situation is that ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE.
Attraction is a POWERFUL EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response.

And, as you might know, when you're feeling a powerful emotion, it's
difficult, or in many cases, almost impossible to override that emotion
with LOGIC.

 The woman is clearly ATTRACTED to the "lowlife", but she also knows in her
MIND that she "should" stay with the "stable nice guy".

EMOTION beats LOGIC any day of the week when it comes to

attraction and female behavior.

Being a challenge and being unavailable are things that TRIGGER the
emotion, but once it's triggered then there's not much that a woman
can do about it.

And as you noticed, not even advice from the "first lady" of relationship logic
can change it.
 309

So to answer your question, the reason why women "choose" unstable losers
over stable guys like you is...

THEY DON'T CHOOSE AT ALL.

There is no logical "decision" being made. When it comes to ATTRACTION,

"choosing" doesn't even come into play.

If you want women to feel that powerful emotion called ATTRACTION for
you, then you need to learn how to communicate and behave in the way that
TRIGGERS ATTRACTION.

Are you with me on this?

ON YOUR SUCCESS STORY AND CONFIDENCE...

I think that you're on the right track here.

When she came to you to tell you that her parents didn't approve of you, and
you responded by saying, "I don't care what your parents think, I'm not here
to please them", you effectively made yourself MORE powerful in her heart
AND mind than even her parents.

I'm taking a wild guess here, but I'll bet that when she came to you to tell
you this, she was telling you because she was thinking of breaking off the
relationship and this was her way of "introducing" the idea.

When you responded by saying, "I don't care what they think", you probably
scrambled her signal a little. She was probably confused, but MORE
IMPORTANTLY, she was probably EMOTIONALLY ATTRACTED to you at the
same time.
 310

This combination of confusion, emotional attraction, and you asserting

yourself as more powerful than her parents because you didn't care,
is almost unstoppable.

As you say - "Every dating advisor stresses male confidence".  The more I've
thought about this, the more I realize that the FOUNDATION for
confidence is LACK OF INSECURITY.

In other words, if you want to be confident, you have to START by getting

over the things that you're insecure about. Once you do this, you'll realize
that "confidence" isn't really that important at all.

Women are generally attracted to men who don't need APPROVAL from
anyone. Call it confidence if you want. But, I think it comes down to
becoming secure in the world and comfortable in your own skin.

ON YOUR SUGGESTIONS OF CRITERIA AND EJECTING A WOMAN AFTER

INFIDELITY...

It's a GREAT idea to be VERY selective and to let women know about it,
EVEN IF SHE'S YOU'RE "TYPE". Women are generally more attracted to men
who are more selective.

Of course, it is important to keep high standards in life, because they usually

lead to better results in general.

And in response to your recommendation to dump a woman at the first sign

of infidelity...

This is probably a good policy.

But, there's something else that you should probably take away from this as
well.
 311

If a woman isn't loyal, there's a good chance that either:

1) You did a poor job selecting the type of woman to have a relationship with
in the first place...

  ...and/or...

2) You stopped doing the things that created the ATTRACTION in the
relationship, and turned into a WUSSY.

In either case, there's something to learn and improve in the future inside of
YOURSELF.

YOU must learn how to KEEP HER INTEREST over the long-haul if you want
to "cheat-proof" your relationship.

...and on another note... I really believe that there's more than meets the
eye when it comes to success with women and dating.

The process that creates the magic emotion of ATTRACTION is mysterious,

seemingly illogical, and "counter intuitive".  If you don't understand it,
then it just won't make sense.

It's taken me literally YEARS to be able to both attract women AND be able
to explain how to do it.

AN IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR YOU...

It's a brand new year right now.

Can you feel that "new" energy?

 312

Did you make a New Year's Resolution?

The beginning of a new year is an opportunity to look back on the past year
and think about what went right, what didn't go so right... and what
you'd like to do DIFFERENT this time around.

This might be YOUR year for success with women.

If it is, then you're going to need to make a commitment to yourself, and

then FOLLOW THROUGH on that commitment.

This part of your life isn't going to "get itself handled". YOU are going to have
to do it.

If you'd like to take advantage of the time, effort, energy, and money that
I've invested learning how to be successful with women and dating, then I
recommend that you check out my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD
Program.

Instead of going through years of trial and error, you can have the secrets
handed to you on a silver platter.

It's packed with hundreds of incredible techniques and concepts for making
women feel ATTRACTION, and it contains over 12 full hours of digitally
recorded material, plus a 100 page workbook.

How To Avoid PAYING For Women's Attention

I want to talk to you about a topic that is always on the minds of men...
It's the topic of PAYING FOR THINGS FOR WOMEN.
This includes paying for drinks and dinners, buying her gifts and taking her
out to shows.
 313

The question is: "Should I pay?"

Most guys feel OBLIGATED to pay if they go out with a woman on a date.

Most guys feel COMPELLED to buy women gifts, flowers, etc. and "take
women out" to "show them a good time".

In fact, the "standard" approach for many guys is simply asking a woman
"Can I take you out sometime?"

Of course, there's ALWAYS more than meets the eye when it comes to these
kinds of issues, and this one is no exception.

Take a moment and ask yourself this question:

WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON HERE? WHY DO MEN USUALLY BUY THINGS FOR
WOMEN? WHAT'S THE REAL ISSUE?

If you're willing to be completely open and honest about it, you'll realize that
most men:

1) Use dinners, flowers, gifts, and other "favors" as bait and/or payment for
women’s time and attention.

2) Don't feel deep down like an ATTRACTIVE woman would want to

be with them JUST BECAUSE SHE ENJOYED THEIR COMPANY and felt
ATTRACTION for them.

3) Have no idea what the ACTUAL affect of trying to lure women with these
kinds of things is.

4) <MOST IMPORTANTLY> DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

 314

I can remember when I used to think that I needed to always take a woman
out, buy them dinner, and pay for whatever I could think of to get a
woman's attention.

It was really a horrible feeling.

The worst part was that the more nice things I did for women when I first
met them, the more apprehensive and "standoffish" they seemed to act.

It was almost as if they interpreted my actions as ME TRYING TOO HARD,

and they instinctively played "hard to get" in response.

The question of "Should I pay for dinner?" is as old as dirt. So let me answer
it with one of my typical multi-part answers.

And the first part of my answer is going to be another question to YOU...

WHY WOULD YOU PAY FOR A WOMAN'S DINNER?

And for that matter, why would you buy gifts and do favors for a woman that
you just met and don't know?

IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMETHING.

And guess what?

Attractive women are VERY perceptive. They can usually size a guy up in a
matter of SECONDS.

She KNOWS what's on your mind. And she's going to take all the clues you
give her to decide how much you like her... and how much of a WUSS you
are as well.
 315

Now I'm going to throw you a real curve ball...

I have friends, who are very good with women, that take women to NICE
dinners all the time. I'm talking two hundred PLUS dollars for dinner and
drinks ALONE.

I also have friends who almost NEVER take women out for so much as a cup
of coffee... yet they have more women than they can handle.

Is this possible?

Are the guys who are buying dinner actually SUCCESSFUL at bribing women
with food?

Or do both techniques work?

Well, the interesting thing I've found – after studying this topic for YEARS -
is that most guys who are REALLY GOOD with women have something in
common in this area.

While some may buy expensive dinners for women, and some may buy
nothing, NONE of them use the idea of paying for things as "bait" or "bribes"
or "obligation"...

In other words, it's the INTENTION behind the actions that comes
through loud and clear.

My friends that take women on dates to beautiful restaurants would be

GOING THERE ANYWAY, and they just happen to be taking the woman along
with them.

Or if they open a bottle of expensive wine, THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN

 316

DRINKING IT THEMSELVES.

I also have to mention here that all of the guys I know in BOTH camps know
how ATTRACTION works, and how to make women feel attracted to
them REGARDLESS of whether or not they pay for things.

To explain this differently, women INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE it when they're

dealing with a man who feels the need to "buy her attention", and they
usually either play hard to get, or they just leave.

You can do anything and have it mean anything.

There's a way to say "You're beautiful" and have it mean "You're not at all
attractive", and there's a way to pay for things and NOT have it say "I'm a
needy Wussy who feels the need to buy you things so you'll like me".

  Get it?

One of the problems that a lot of guys have is the real-world issue of money.

It's expensive to take women out all the time.

It's expensive to buy flowers and drinks and gifts.

And if you're single and dating a lot of women, it can be out of the question
to always be paying for things.

Well, the good news is that you don't need to pay for ANYTHING to be
successful with women.

And the other good news is that if you LIKE to do nice things and go to nice
dinners, THERE IS A WAY to do these things with women and not give off
 317

the "I don't deserve you, so I'll pay you for your attention" vibes.

Think about the following two ways to invite a woman out to dinner with
you:

1) "Can I take you out to dinner on Friday night?"

2) "I'm thinking of going to dinner on Friday at one of my favorite

restaurants, and you should join me."

  What's the difference?

The difference is that the first way IMPLIES that you are TAKING her to
dinner.

The second IMPLIES that you're living your life, doing your own thing, and
being your own person... and that if she'd like to come along, she's welcome.

The second also doesn't make you sound like a WUSSY.

So what's my personal opinion of this whole topic?

Well, I don't think it's a good idea to start off with a woman by PAYING for
things.

It's much better to allow her to like you and feel ATTRACTION for you
without the distraction and expense.

If you understand how ATTRACTION works, you can trigger it using your
body language and communication. No money required.

Then, if you want to enjoy dinner or a drink at one of your favorite places,
 318

INVITE HER TO JOIN YOU.  Don't ask her if you can "take her out".

This will make a VERY powerful impression. Trust me.

- THE FLIP SIDE OF THIS COIN...

There is another "dark" side to this whole conversation.

It's the idea that men feel OBLIGATED or INDEBTED to a woman when the
woman spends time with them, gives them attention, etc.

If you're out with a beautiful woman who OBVIOUSLY has many men who
pursue her, it's easy to get into the mind set of "I have to do extra things,
buy her gifts, and go the extra mile to compete with the other guys".

Sometimes emotions come up that make you feel like you want to "show
her" how you feel for her early on... after only knowing her a short while.

OR EVEN WORSE, many guys feel like they OWE A WOMAN SOMETHING
BECAUSE SHE'S GONE OUT WITH THEM AND/OR HAD SEX WITH THEM. And
often, this "something" is either "dinner and gift payments" or a
RELATIONSHIP.

You must realize that EVEN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD
want MORE than just "payment for their time".

Attractive women have dinners, money, and gifts thrown at them

CONSTANTLY. You're not going to do ANYTHING to make her more attracted
to you by doing these things.

As you know, I talk a lot about the concept of ATTRACTION.

 319

ATTRACTION is the powerful sexual emotion that you feel when you want to
be intimately and romantically involved with someone of the opposite sex.

Men typically feel it when they see a beautiful woman.

WOMEN typically feel it when they're in the presence of a man who

knows how to communicate with that part of her that triggers her
ATTRACTION "mechanism".

Most guys either don't know this, never figure it out, or don't pay attention
to it.

Instead of learning how women work, and doing those things that will trigger
her ATTRACTION, they just make the same mistakes and beat their heads up
against the same walls over and over.

And they do things like asking women out to dinner, buying flowers and
TRYING TO PAY for attention.

It doesn't have to be this way!

If you're one of the guys who has been paying for women's attention all your
life, then do yourself a favor right now and STOP IT!

I've put so much time and energy into figuring out and explaining how to
attract women without PAYING for their attention. Take advantage of it!
 320

Online Dating Tips - Women Reveal Secrets

***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,

Great news. I tried C + F with a girl I've known for over a year as a friend
but would never dream of "approaching"...

I asked her advice about fashion and took her shopping with me for clothes.
I busted on her the whole time about looking at my ass, etc. So a few days
later I get a call. "What do you like to drink? How 'bout I stop by with some
beers and hang out?"

Between our second and third lovemaking sessions she apologizes for taking
up my time, and confesses that she's not really looking for a relationship
right now. Hopes I'm not mad. Pure gold, man. This woman is ten years
younger and the highest paid stripper at a local bar. I'm broke, short, bald,
cocky, and funny. Go figure. Thanks a million. Don't print my name, but DO
send me your advanced class ASAP!

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, bummer... isn't it?

While you might not have found the ultimate "wife" material, it doesn't
sound to me like you mind the free fashion advice (oh, and free BEER).

Interesting Question:

Why is it that the highest paid dancer at a local bar... one who has literally
hundreds and hundreds of men around her that would pay her, buy her
anything, and worship her like a queen... would rather buy beer and bring it
 321

to an older, short, bald, cocky, funny guy and then say "I'm sorry if I'm
wasting your time... I'm not looking for a relationship"?

Interesting Answer:

Because she doesn't need a clingy, loser, psycho, WUSSY, sketchy jackass
who calls her 47 times a day to ask her what she's doing and say "I miss
you, when can I see you again".

  Powerful.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hi,
I would be most grateful for some help/advice if you could assist. =   I am bi
sexual fem women, and have recently met a beautiful women, my type very
fem, and I really like this women.  She has been hurt by men in the past,
and is just going through a phase in her life at the moment where she needs
to be with women. She has been with 2 other women including me before.

To cut a long story short, I don’t know how to charm her, make her like me
more and become a magnet towards her?  I'm not chasing after her because
i suspect that most men have done this before, and because I am a women i
want to play it cool.  She has already indicated that she wants fun then see
what happens, but I understand that nothing could ever come of it because
her family and friends don’t know she is bi, and she comes from a relatively
posh family.

Have you got any suggestions you could give me please.

Thank you for spending time in reading the above, and I await to hear from
you in great anticipation.

S.
 322

>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, why is it that when you finally get an email you WISH was longer,
it says "To cut a long story short"?

Whatever.

OK, I'm closing my eyes right now... and making an image in my mind of
you and your new-found babe in a room together...

You're wondering how to make her feel A STRONG ATTRACTION to you... but
you just can't figure it out...

All of a sudden, the door opens up, and I come walking in to the rescue...

I sit down between you and your girlfriend, and I give you that knowing
look...

You instantly understand that I'm going to help you get what you want... and
you feel a deep and profound appreciation for me...

  ...

  ...

  ...
You know, this imaginary thing never was very good for me.

OK, back to reality...

Look, you're asking a question just like a Wussy guy would ask.

You're in a TEXTBOOK situation...

 323

And if you don't get control of yourself and your emotions, you're going to
screw this up real good.

Pause. Deep breaths. Sit in the lotus position or something.

Here's the formula for making this girl want to be with you:

Great Experiences + Missing You

Got it?

When you're with her, make it ENJOYABLE.

Don't put any kind of weird emotional pressure on her.

Don't ask "Do you think you could be with someone like me in a long-term
relationship?".

Don't cling.

Don't call her all the time.

When you do spend time with her, make sure you and she are having a
GREAT TIME.

And then end every interaction with her while it's on an UP note... and just a
little bit too soon.

Like a great movie, end it at a "climax".

"Huh... Huh... He thaid "climaxth". Yeah Yeah!"

And as you've heard me say before, give her the GIFT of MISSING YOU.
 324

You're on the right track by "playing it cool".

Now add fun, excitement, and MYSTERY to the equation.

Give her experiences she can't forget, and then give her room to think about
you, wonder where you are, and chase you until she's caught.

***COMMENT***
Just what kind of conversations are you having with these lil girls? Don't you
find it better to have someone that can stimulate your mind as well as your
member? I must say that my personal opinion is that you have low self-
esteem and base your self worth on the trophy you carry by your side...Grow
up ya mental midget.......

Sincerely, K.D.C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
I've included this to make an example... this is the type of person to watch
out for while you're learning how to be successful with women and dating...
they have nothing useful to offer, only negativity.

This is someone who doesn't get it, doesn't get ANY, and isn't going to help
you.

This person would be glad to sit all night and tell you why it's a bad idea for
you to have fun dating all the fun women you're dating because none of
them are "marriage material".

REVELATION: Duh.

But while you're FINDING that rare and fantastic woman who can stimulate
your mind, body, emotions, and "member", you might as well enjoy
 325

yourself...

And to answer the question:

The kind of conversations I'm having with these "lil girls" is the kind that
challenges them, makes them feel ATTRACTION, and makes them realize
how BORING negative people like you are.

'Nuff said.

***SUCCESS STORY***
David!
Where do I even begin to tell you about the changes that have taken place in
my life since I read your e-book?

I used to be the classic wussy. While reading your book, and reading about
the things that you said were exactly what NOT to do, it was painful for me.
But a wake-up call at the same time! It allowed me to pinpoint what went
wrong in every failed relationship or unsuccessful interaction with females
I've ever had.

I've always been naturally cocky and funny, but I never figured it would be a
successful method to use around women as I was too focused on coming
across as, "A nice guy she could take home to dad." I used to ALWAYS
become a submissive wuss in frilly pink panties everytime I was around
attractive girls. Maaannn, was I ever wrong, and thank you for showing me
the light!

I'm currently in sales, and a few months ago had found myself falling for a
customer service rep for one of the companies whos products I sell. She
has every quality a man could want. She's 23, (I just turned 20) gorgeous,
confident, intelligent, and she has a cheeky little attitude that is sooooo easy
 326

for the cocky and funny man to have fun with! From the start, I just
continued to bust her balls non-stop and I LOVE teasing her for her
minor insecurities (she is short, claustrophobic and has a bit of a bratty
attitude, among many others). I call her a bratty little child, laugh
at her and call her "cute" in a sarcastic tone when she tries to act cocky. I
told her I was going to show her the city and she could buy me dinner for my
effort! lol. It worked like a charm.

Shes definitely a keeper, and its time to take things to the next level! I don't
expect I will have ANY problems maintaining this one thanks to the gold that
IS your e-book!

Not to mention, my newly improved attitude and high level of inner

confidence have ran-off into all aspects of my life. I've never felt better!

$19.97 changed my life!

Thanks again,

B in BC

>>>MY COMMENTS:

PRINT THAT!
And the reality is that YOU changed your life... and I'm glad I could help.

Make sure you don't forget what you're learning and turn into a girly-man in
about 6 months like most guys do.

Keep up the good work, and keep the girl.

 327

***QUESTION***
Dave,
Like everyone else I have to say your book did wonders for me. I wouldn't
dream of asking a girl for her# after just meeting her (classic wussy
rejection fear). Now, what do I care if she gives it to me or not there's
another looker 10 feet away.

One thing I would like to add to the table, maybe i missed it the first time i
read the book, what do you do if C&F doesn't have enough F and you jut
offended her?

My personal situation that happens often because I like to see live bands, is
that I'll be talking to a girl and (long story short) say "Man, this band really
sucks" to which she makes a comment and walks away. I have since learned
to apologize...I don't feel it's wussy if it works.  Now the scenario is:

"This band really Sucks. 'Hey, I like this band.' "Oh I’m sorry....Not for
saying that, but that you like this band."

Every time I pull out that comment the girls turn around and continue
conversation.

So thanks dave for turning my social life around. I still have a lot to learn
though, so men of the world don’t just send in your success stories send
in the tip that you had to figure out on your own.

PT Superior, WI

>>>MY COMMENTS:
I like the direction you're going...

But, I think you need to tweak it just a little.

 328

Saying "This band sucks" to a total stranger just isn't funny.

 If you say, "Hey, do you LIKE this band?" and she says, "Yeah" and you say,
"Doesn't surprise me, what - are you the guitar players sister?"...

That's a little more where you want to go.

It's funny, but it's also kind of unclear. It involves the woman you're
talking to without her really being able to catch on to what you
mean.

You answered your own question: ADD MORE FUNNY.

 Cocky guys attract women... that's reality.

 But, guys who are ONLY cocky also upset and offend a lot of women... but
they don't care, because they only care about themselves.

Add more funny... it's much better for her, and for you.

***QUESTION***
Hi, Dave.
I try to read all your newsletters -- I'm married for 12 years and trying to
figure out how to de-wussify my self. It's not easy, and you don't help even
a little because you don't give "relationship advice." But I try to find ways to
be unpredictable and cocky + funny with my wife... And any other woman I
meet. I'm a religious professional, so I've got some real limitations to work
within, but I'm pretty sure teasing women isn't a sin, and it lights me up.

I went through a phase where I figured you wrote the letters. But having
read them for a while now, I'm convinced you're not that kind of genius.
"Pick the one with more money." -- I was worried someone at my office was
 329

going to ask me why I was laughing so loud. "You suck and all men wish
they were you." Well, as a religious professional, I have to say you suck
double.

Here's one example of what I did right. (I think.) She was in the shower, so I
walked in too.
Her: "You came into my shower."
Me: "Wouldn't you if you were me and there was a beautiful, steamy, sexy
naked woman in here?"
Her: "I suppose so."
Me: "But you'll have to do."
Her: (Total shift in attitude.) "Hey, mister, you're loosing opportunities that
way."
Me: "I've got opportunities coming out of my ears."

(I'm not sure she believed that, but I couldn't think what else to say.)

She didn't make any moves that day, but the next day she was happily
receptive.

Still if you have any advice on how to stimulate attraction in a woman who's
seen you at your wussiest I'd love to hear it. I'm not walking out of the
relationship or going to introducing "distance" that would be unfitting for a
couple married for a long while, so don't go there. But I'd love to get some
more ideas of how to push her buttons.

J, Denver

>>>MY COMMENTS:
I don't know, there's just something about a guy who tells me "You suck
double" that I just can't resist... OK, so you tugged at my heart- strings a
little with the "I'm a religious professional who's been married 12 years and I
 330

want to make my wife dig me more" bit.

You're doing pretty well.
I like the whole shower routine... right up until the very last part.

When she shifted tone and said, "Hey, mister, you're losing opportunities
that way" and you answered, "I've got opportunities coming out of my
ears", you went off course.

Instead, when she says, "You're losing opportunities that way", say, "I'm the
opportunity here, and you might want to take advantage of it while it's
available"... then splash some water on her, shower her, wink at her, and
GET OUT.

Have you ever played with a dog?

How do you make a dog LOVE you?
You chase it, then run away.
What does the dog do?

Of course, it chases YOU.

Then it might get tired... so you chase it a little again... and then run away.

You've been acting like a Wuss for 12 years.

Keep evicting the inner Wuss more and more over time, and who knows?
You might actually become interesting to your wife again.

***QUESTION***
Dave,
You have no idea how much I appreciate what you are doing for me and so
many other guys out there. It's truly amazing stuff. The details about me are
unimportant, but I read your book thought to myself wow that's awesome
 331

and then continued to think "oh but I"ll never change I like who I am even if
I'm incredibly unsuccessful with women." But I had a crush on a girl I
worked with and tried your cocky comedy technique anyway in spite of
myself. I only let myself appeared moderately interested if at all and
eventually asked her if she wanted to take a ride on my bike. (one of the
main things we had talked about before was about me buying a motorcycle,
she had already asked me to take her for a ride.) That was the best date of
my life and she's all I hoped for I made a list of all the other books you
recommended in your ebook and have gone out and read them too becasue I
really like the way i feel when i'm in control of the relationship. Best part is
dave she's three years older than I am and I still have her wrapped
around my finger.

To get to my question though dave it's coming up her birthday and because I
really do love her I need to make sure i don't screw up when it comes time
to give gifts and really make her feel special. I know you don't like
relationships as much as single dating but could you offer whatever advice
you might have. Thanks a lot Dave, you're definitely a wealth of all things
dating.

M, Chicago area
 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, OK... I know I'm breaking my rule of not giving relationship advice
AGAIN, but this answer will be useful to all guys...

And by the way, it's not that I "don't like relationships as much as single
dating" at all.

In fact, I believe that MOST guys would really like to find a great woman to
have a fantastic long-term relationship with...

I just FOCUS on the "meeting and dating" part.

 332

So, here's the problem:

If you meet a girl that you really like, at some point early-on in the
relationship, some type of holiday or occasion is going to turn up...

Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve, her birthday... something.

And you don't want to look like a TOTAL jackass by doing nothing... I get it.

Here's just a little bit of advice:

You can make the occasion FANTASTIC without being a WUSSY.

ou can do something that will blow her mind without coming across as a
needy, clingy, girly-man who is trying to impress a woman because he
doesn't feel worthy.

An example of what most guys do:

Call her up, tell her that you really like her, ask her where her favorite
restaurant is because you want to take her there for her birthday, ask
her what else she's like to do, and then keep asking after she says "I don't
care what we do, I just want to have fun" a hundred more times.

An example of what to do instead:

Call her and say "Hey, put on something cute tomorrow night, and be ready
at 8... I'm going to pick you up". If she asks what you're doing, just say "Be
ready, no questions". Pick her up, take her to dinner, choose the food, and
then bring her home and put a candle on a cupcake and sing her happy
birthday. No asking her what she wants, no telling her where you're going,
and no seeking her approval.
 333

Get the difference? If not, read it again.

There's a way to do everything without coming off WUSSIFIED.

***QUESTION***
whats the best way to ask a girl out and is it wrong if one girl says no when i
ask her out i try for another girl the same day?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The best way to ask a girl out is to say "Will you please, please go out with
me?" and if one girl says no when you ask her out then it IS wrong to try for
another girl the same day. You must wait at least 17 days after one "no"
before you may ask another girl out.

DOH! I broke my rule of not answering jackass questions... dammit!

***QUESTION***
Dear David,
I am writing to tell you how much I enjoy your tips. You will probably laugh
because I am a woman. I think that your advice is just as good for women
too. Have you considered writing a book for women? You have the
advantage of a male's perspective and you could give good insights. I do
what to keep the chemistry going in my relationship, to make my boyfriend
feel proud and happy and more manly. (I live in Europe and English is not
my native language, so please excuse me if I made any mistakes.)
Sincerely, AB

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
What is this world coming to?
We've got women who are working to make their men feel proud and
"manly".
 334

Maybe you could get him some testosterone replacement therapy or

something?

Have him write to me... I'll verbally slap him around a little... maybe that will
get him to act like a man all on his own.

But probably not.

***COMMENT***

First of all, let me utter my limitless thank for providing me with an awesome
product of great value and I am extremely trilled reading it on and on. Your
material is worth like cash money even more. I cannot describe how
powerful it influences repeatedly my best attention in this very hour of
crisis. I am impatiently awaiting the next information of yours and reading
your material is the most interesting thing I have nowadays. Have a great
day there and thank you very much for your guidance.  
Best regards, S

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

I wish to honestly and forthrightly accept your limitless thank you, and
convey my own profound appreciation for your expression of gratitude.

Influencing your attention repeatedly in your very hour of crisis is my only

desire.

And you're welcome, too.

***COMMENTS FROM YET ANOTHER WOMAN***

David,
As I was re-reading your "Challenging Woman" newsletter, I had to say:
 335

"That's soooo me!" And you make me want to share one of my fave C+F
memories of a man who gets what you talk about. (Perhaps not one of the
most thrilling examples of C+F you've ever read, but this guy was just the
zen master of it, and just makes me appreciate that which is male so much
more!  :D )

I met "M" on a datesite, and finally decided to meet for lunch.  Now, M. is
not the kind of fella that one would think as a chick magnet.  At 5'6" (and
that's being generous) and a bit of a stocky physique because of his short
stature, he does not strike one as handsome in the typical way most people
envision. But he had a lovely face, a charming smile, and a gleam of sunny
happiness that just make me take notice of him at first sight.

We sat down and got acquainted, and as I felt he was comfortable with me, I
started the female version of Cocky and Funny: I call it "Feisty and Sassy".
And he clicked right in on my wavelength. We kept this at a comfortable
level, interjecting personal info amongst good natured jabs. This guy was fun
and funny! So it got to the point were he had made some statement that
hinted he might like me.  And so I folded my arms and asked him in my
snottiest challenging smug voice, "So you admit you like me then, eh?" He
leaned back in his chair, studied me for a moment, turned his head as if to
look out the window, flipped his hand negligently at me, and sneered
boredly,  "Nah.
Don't like ya. Can't stand ya. "And after a pregnant pause of a few seconds,
him still quietly staring off to the side, he suddenly shot me a mischievous
glance with a cocked brow and a naughty smirking grin. 'OOOOH!!  Brat!!
You brat!!  You complete brat!!  Oh oh oh oh OH!! (Think like a Sam Kinison
scream!)' I didn't know if I wanted to kiss him on the mouth or punch him
in the arm!  Or both!! I was exasperated and delighted at the same time.
And I couldn't help but shoot him back my pointy-toothed kitty-cat smile.
'Oh you are SOOO asking for trouble!!  And you are gonna GET IT!!'
And... uhm, let's just say that he did. And I most enjoyed it, like I knew I
 336

would.  ;)
My theory, founded or not, is that if you ain't much fun OUT of bed, you
probably aren't that much fun IN bed. Or anywhere else in the house, for
that matter.  M. was just fun, period. Oh man, was he fun.

And I get mad when I hear some of your readers write: "I'm short! I'm bald!
I'm old! I'm fat! I'm (whatever fault they perceive)! I don't stand a chance,
Dave!"  Bullsh**.  This is just insecurity making excuses.  (One of my fave
professors in college weighed 350lbs, balding, mid 50's, and often dressed in
shorts and threadbare T-shirts during the summer.  Not exactly a feast for
the eyes, but when his utter, almost arrogant, confidence came thru, he was
absolutely master of his classroom domain. And when his kingly presence
filled the room, it was such a turn-on!  Like you've said, attraction is not
logical, it is a reaction. And something in me just when 'Whoa. Now THAT's a
man!')

 M. was really short for a guy, and I didn't bat an eye.  His self-confidence
and great attitude just made me want to know him more. His sunniness just
preceded him, and when he opened his mouth, he had the real deal to back
it up. A man who might have been using the C+F routine on me, but he
wasn't pretending to be confident: he WAS confident!  And a real sweetheart
underneath. Though I was intrigued from the moment I met him, he clinched
the deal with that little zinger. I knew I was a gonner from that moment on.
A man who is genuinely comfortable with himself is a man who I can be
comfortable with.  And know that he will rise to the challenge and allow me
to free the depths of my passions, and he can handle it. Because he can be
himself, I can be myself.  And makes me want to reveal to him the inner-
most parts of me.

 Let me tell ya, Dave, there are quite a few advantages to being a
"challenging woman".  Just too bad there aren't more players in this game.
Too many who meet my curious gaze and back down before they even open
 337

their mouths. So sad, when I saw something in them to even want to go out
with them. And they do not see that for themselves, and do not believe in
themselves.  And the game is lost before it ever started.
And when I think of your C+F techniques, I think of Mitch, and wish more
men had the confidence to like themselves despite whatever their perceived
short comings.  That little man was the gentle master of C+F to me.  And as
far as I'm concerned, he is the biggest man in the room, no matter where
he goes.
Thank you, Dave, for giving men the tools to meet the challenge, and
challenge me in return. How fun life is with a gleam in your eye.  ;)

Long live the Sassy and Feisty, Ms. E LA, CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

"...if you ain't much fun OUT of bed, you probably aren't that much fun IN
bed. Or anywhere else in the house, for that matter."

Amen, sister.

***QUESTION***

 DAVE i can't front...  your material is the bomb.. no doubt.. im young, hip
hop influenced, and African American and what you convey crosses any
barrier...  and you know how much attitude women of our culture have, but
it dont mean a thing when a man knows whats really going on... but anyway
thanks, you tight, yada yada,  down to business. i got your ebook a month
ago, and studied it cover to cover,  everyday so that the information would
go into my subconscious. At first, i had trouble developing the C&F character
you talked about because i had to do a complete 360 from what i used to do.
letting women punk me. looking back, i had no spine but now, i get it...
 338

 TO MY SUCCESS... recently i went out to a live club that a lot of gorgeous
women go too. i was with 3 of my cousins who are used to me being just
okay when it comes to women. now clubs are not my thing, but i said to
myself lets do it. now before i went in i kept in mind 3 things you talked
about. having a blasé persona, slowing down my body movements, and the
''next'' attitude. so when i first went in, i did a whole tour of the entire club
(away from my cousins) with my mind geared on nothing but eye contact
with women. just so I could watch who was watching me. i had to laugh at
myself because some women were so obvious, wanting my attention, but i
played it cool. now usually, I go straight to the dance floor, but this time i
decided to go to the lounge area and sit by myself in a big booth, still
keeping those principles in mind. That’s when it got crazy. i said to myself
whoever comes to sit, I’m on them. two twins come (at least 8's ) and i bust
on them.
Them:  why you chillen by yourself?
Me: you gotta come better than that doublemints.
Them: (astonished looks) excuse me? (laughing, gradually turned into
smiles)
Me: i tell ya. girls here are so thirsty for a guy like me. i heard that line 3
times already.
Them: (uncontrollable laughter) you are something else..

long story short, emails from both. and the rest of the nite women
approached me. and thats never ever happened to me before. came away
with 4 numbers and five emails, and didnt care if they called ( 3 the next day
did), and hardly gave the effort. it was so natural. thanks

QUESTION there was a group of 3 girls that I busted on and later got all
there emails at the same time, but didn’t ask for their numbers like you
advised, because i didnt want to have one of them act up, and all of them
leave. what do i do in that case? ask for all the emails and then all the
numbers up front? there was only one pen so they had to take turns using it.
 339

also what are some good C&F responses for when a woman who is a  10
tests you, to bypass her multiple initial tests in first approach.

thanks

dg from ohio

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Word (East-coast style)... (even though I'm from the Westside and faking
every bit of what I'm about to say)...

See, tha thing is... if a fly ass hizzoe starts frontin' and flexin' at your game,
you got to roll up on her and DROP THE KNOWLEDGE on her ass.

She be all bad and like, "I'm da bomb" (even her "good hair" is a weave, and
y'all know it)...

So you got to demonstrate that youz a BIG baller... not one a these fake-ass
thuggin MCz.

Feel me?

Keep yo game TIGHT.

[Hip-Hop voice turns back to my usual whiteboy sounding self]

Just look her in the eye when she tests you, and give her that cool, calm, sly
smile that says "That was almost cute, little girl".

Hot women are testing to find those little clues that tell them that you're
FAKING IT... that you're just another loser who's trying to act cool.
 340

Don't drop the ball.

Give her a sly smile, and say "Cute"... and then say "You love me".

Oh, and about your three hunnies...

Just tell them to write their numbers down!

The fact that they were sharing a pen and paper is FANTASTIC. Really. Go
with it.

You're doing fine... fine. Keep up the great work, and I'll keep working on my
Hip Hop.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave, how goes?

So, I've been getting the letters for some time now. Though the ideas made
sense, the insight was difficult for me to "GET" as you would say. I knew
how it made sense, but didn't. (Like your telling someone how to drive a car
comparison) Though I wanted to understand, so I got the e-book. Helpful, a
very good read, but sadly I've never been that greet with retaining
information that way. Not without reading it five billion times. (Which I'm
just trying to read more in general, that might help) So, once again in effort
to understand I got the Adv. Series. Much, much better. Watching, hearing
the discussion, hell you slamming those guys for their own good helps
understand the mentally of getting it, attraction, and it being my reality.
What I have found the most beneficial is all the Inner Game material.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all about having 5 beautiful women fight over my
attention, wanting to buy me dinner & showing me what they recently
got at Victoria Secret. So, the dating tips are nice. It is that the inner game
 341

material is helping on the path to improve myself overall. I've always been
an Alpha male type, incredible strong & independent. However it was all
based on conviction and not faith in myself. I say was since I've been for a
long time now trying to change that. With that, your series has helped me
gain more ways of finding my way, believe in myself, etc. For that I would
like to thank you personally. Thanks Dave.

Now don't get all mushy on me or anything....geez

N in Denver

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Me get all mushy?

Dude, I thought you were going to try to hug me there for a minute.

I saw that scene at the end of American Beauty where Kevin Spacey was in
the garage, and the dad from next  door was out in the rain...

Don't even go there.

Yeah, I kind of enjoy busting on guys for their own good. It's not only fun,
it's helpful.

I actually got a letter awhile back from a guy who came to one of my
seminars and commented that he felt I was a little too harsh and
condescending with the guys that attended...

I thought to myself, "Huh? Did you travel all that way and pay your good
money to hear me tell you that you're a wonderful, sweet, special human
being and all you need to do is believe in yourself and everything will work
for the greater good in the end?".
 342

We all need tough, brutally honest, Cocky & Funny friends to help us wake
up and see the light.

I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did.

***COMMENT***
Mr. Dave,
Yesterday I was seeing DVD#6 of the Advance Dating Program. And when I
heard Brent's interview I just couldn't believe it. This guy literally blown my
mind away and my perspective of see reality change at the very moment. I
gotta tell you that when you ask for Brent's standing ovation I was at my
home applauding like a lunatic and thanking god for I have find your
information. So my comments for your products are: They are an excellent,
brilliant and exceptional source of packaged wisdom for us men.

Best Regards, VVG San Juan, PR

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Glad you're enjoying them.

That last DVD in the series is amazing, isn't it?

The interviews that I did with those guys ROCKED... There's nothing like
being able to actually see and hear guys who really know what they're doing
with women... and get a feel for their body language, voice tone, and
gestures.

I won't tell anyone that you were applauding to yourself...

 343

***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I recently bought your book and I'd like to say that it's great (I knew after
15 minutes that I wouldn't need to ask for my money back - it really IS that
good).  I've read it a few times and I reading again to try and absorb all the
material I can. I'm practicing on a regular basis and I'm still the the
Apprentice stage of my transformation (but loving every new interaction!). I
joined an online dating service and I'm trying to figure out how to use the
C+F approach effectively without coming across as a total jerk or worse. I
realize that there are probably tons of wusses on these sites as well so
what's the key to writing an email that will catch their attention?  I'm sure
most of the hotties (and average chicks) get a load of email from guys
that say crap like "I love to hold hands and go for long walks on crisp, fall
days...".  If this is an example of a wussmail, what is the best way to write a
C+F email that creates some attraction and gets them chasing after me and
not the other way round?

Keep up the awesome work and keep these kickass emails coming... they're
gold!

M in BC

PS: are you going to come up here anytime soon and do a seminar for your
Canadian bretheren (or at least somewhere in the Pacific Northwest)?

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, if you're going to do the online thing, you must keep a few things in
mind:

1. There are literally tens of millions of people who are using the internet for
dating. It's the BIG THING right now.
 344

2. Women who join dating sites get TONS of replies from men.

3. If you want to be successful in the online space, you need to remember

that you're really in a big numbers game.

4. Writing a great profile is one way to separate yourself from the crowd, and
turn the entire game around.

I could talk for days about the online dating scene... but let me give you just
a few key pointers here...

If you want to increase your success in a BIG way, you need to

1) Update your profile every day, and

2) Watch the new listings every day.

Why every day?

Because when you update your profile every day, it brings your profile back
to the "top of the pile". In other words, most of the systems will have your
updated profile come up FIRST in search results because it's "fresher".

And because if you keep your eye open for the new listings from women
every day, you can be one of the FIRST guys to respond to her ad, instead of
the 347th guy.

You want to make contact, start communicating, and GET ON THE PHONE.

Don't dilly-dally and write 50 emails back and forth.

You're not looking for pen pals, so don't act like it.
 345

 Next, make sure you put a TON of personality into your own profile... AND
your replies to women.

Instead of writing a profile that says "I'm a nice, regular, boring guy who
loves puppies and rainbows and cuddling" say "I'm that guy your mom
warned you about. But hey, we both know that you never listened to
her...".

And instead of writing a reply to a woman's profile that says "Hi, you sound
like just the girl I've been looking for all my life, and I think we could have a
great relationship", say "Hey, you probably couldn't handle me... but I
thought I'd give you a chance anyway".

Get it?

Have FUN. Put ENERGY and PERSONALITY into your profile.

Watch a few episodes of Jackass, then put in a James Bond movie, and wrap
up with some Denis Leary...

 And then write to some women.

 By the way, the best education you can get on Online Dating can be found...
where else?

In my "Meeting Women Online" DVD/CD program.

Inside, you will learn directly from me and my "expert guests"... and we'll
teach you exactly how and where to meet the kinds of women you'd like to
meet... all from the comfort of your computer.
 346

The One "Pickup Line" That Works On ANY Woman

Hey Max,

Doesn't it feel great when you stumble upon a new "technique" for meeting
or attracting women that seems to work ALL THE TIME?

As I've mentioned to you before, it's CRUCIAL to have at least one "default"
thing to do with a woman in ALL of the "common" situations...

I'm talking about approaching a woman and starting a conversation...

getting her phone number and email address... calling her up to make
a date... all the way up to "getting physical".

I really can't stress this enough.... unless you have a "backup plan", you're
almost GUARANTEED to get stuck SOMEWHERE along the line with a
woman.

For example, I can remember several instances in my life when I met a

woman and the "chemistry" was there. It FELT like things were bound to go
smoothly with this one...

But then we'd be hanging out and it would be time to kiss her and I would
drop the ball...

  Why?

Because I didn't have one GUARANTEED WAY to set it up.

I could be sitting there talking to her, thinking to myself "Wow, her lips really
look nice..." but I didn't know what to do next. This would often leave me
kissless, and many times kissless for good, as I didn't get another chance.
 347

Luckily after suffering through this several PAINFUL times... I discovered

"The Kiss Test".

Here it is again, in case you don't remember it:

If I've been talking to a girl, and I want to know if she's ready to be kissed,
I'll reach over and touch her hair while we're talking and make a comment
about it. I'll say, "Your hair looks so soft" and just touch the tips of it.

If she smiles and likes this, I'll reach back over and start stroking it again,
but this time I also glance down at her lips and back up to her eyes a couple
of times. If she lets me keep touching her hair, I know that she's ready to be
kissed.

By using "The Kiss Test" I've been kind and complimentary, but by being
very SUBTLE about it, I haven't given her anything she can object to. I now
have a way of knowing if she's ready to be kissed that NEVER gets me
rejected... and I know within 5 minutes what it used to take me hours or
days to figure out...

Now, you need a "move" like this for EVERY common situation.

Such as:

... A way to approach a woman that works anytime, anywhere.

  ... A surefire way to get a woman's phone number and email address.

  ... A way to "ask her out".

  ... A place to take her where you are SURE to have a good time.
 348

  ... A way to keep the conversation EXCITING… and "revive" it if you feel
things are getting stale.

  ... Ways to build up a woman's attraction for you FAST.

  ... A rejection-free way to "get physical" with a woman.

  ... Etc., etc. You get the point.

  Of course... the MORE of these "default moves" you know... the MORE
SUCCESS you will have with women, period.

  Now... I don't need to tell you that it would take YEARS of trial, error,
rejection, and DUMB LUCK to figure out JUST A FEW of these moves on
your own.

I know that if I hadn't met a few other guys over the years who showed me
THEIR tricks, I'd still be nervously stumbling through some of these
situations myself... and blowing A LOT of great opportunities with women in
the process.
But fortunately... that doesn't have to be the case for YOU.

  I just finished up a REMARKABLE interview with a guy who has more of

these awesome, "works every time" techniques than practically anyone I've
ever met before.

And what's REALLY AMAZING, is that this guy developed them all ON HIS
OWN.

  He's a dating coach who takes guys out "in the field" and shows them LIVE
how to meet and attract women.
 349

I've heard from a few of this guy's clients... and the word on the street is
that he is SOMETHING ELSE.

Here's the author of 2 books on dating, and as a former divorcee himself,

also specializes at helping guys get "back in the game" after a tough
break up.

  I don't know how to even BEGIN to tell you about the killer techniques he
shared in our interview... but I can tell you this...

  I plan to STEAL ALL OF THEM, and use them myself.

  Truth be told... I'm a little bit bent that I didn't come up with this stuff first!

  Here are a few examples of what I'm talking about:

-The thing you MUST do when taking a woman "on a date" if you want to be
SURE things to go well (9 out of 10 men miss this... and that's one of the
reasons why it will make YOU look so good)

-2 ways to get women to APPROACH YOU that are easy, effective... and fool
proof!

-How to increase a woman's attraction for you quickly by sending her "subtle
signals" that tell her YOU are in charge (My friend shared some KILLER word-
for-word examples you can start using TONIGHT)

-NEWSFLASH: Did you know that a woman is often more comfortable

touching YOU than she is with you touching HER? In this interview, you'll
hear my friend's step-by-step system to get a woman to initiate physical
contact with you FIRST... in a way that is comfortable for her, and LOTS OF
FUN for you (I WISH I could take credit for this one... this is a BRAND NEW
 350

concept that I've never heard before... and it makes a lot of sense)

-The "Sensual Handshake" - A smooth way to shake a woman's hand and

then transition into HOLDING HANDS... even if you've just met! (The best
part about this is that women LOVE IT... and will see you as SENSUAL and
EXCITING)

-An awesome, "works every time" way to start a conversation with a woman
at a concert or park

-The "Hit And Run" Line - A great way to start a conversation with a woman
that works in ANY situation... plus makes her see you as a UNIQUE and
ATTRACTIVE man

-A subtle little shift in the way you approach a woman that will DOUBLE or
TRIPLE your chances of walking away with her phone number and a date

-How to compliment a woman WITHOUT looking like you are "sucking up"

-How to completely eliminate the negative self-talk that prevents you from
approaching a woman you want to meet

-Most men don't realize that there is ALWAYS a way to take things to the
next level with a woman without RISKING too much. In our interview, you'll
learn rejection free ways to do things like hold hands, kiss, and everything
else, in a way that is not only comfortable, but increases her attraction
for you

-A simple but powerful psychological "trick" that my friend uses to take his
clients from guys who NEVER approach women, to men who can approach
ANY WOMAN, ANYWHERE (The best part about this one is that any guy can
use it ON HIMSELF to skyrocket his self-confidence and eliminate fear)
 351

-2 ways to tease a woman that my friend uses on EVERY WOMAN he meets

because they work so well (You'll do the same once you hear them)

-What you must be doing DURING a date if you want to have any chance of
"getting physical" afterwards

-A simple and comfortable way to initiate physical contact on a date that

gets a woman thinking about you touching her more and more and more...

-2 ways to take things from simple touching to a SENSUAL level that builds
anticipation and sexual tension FAST

-An AWESOME technique that gets a woman thinking you are a MASTER in
the bedroom before you ever hit the sheets (This one is easy to learn, and
you can actually do it within MINUTES of meeting a woman)

-A way to turn any game (pool, bowling, etc.) into a non-stop game of
SEXUAL ESCUALATION that makes her CRAZY for you (You'll DEFINITELY
start planning your dates around these types of activities when you learn this
one)

-How to get "back into the game" after a divorce or bad breakup (As a
former divorcee himself, this is my friend's specialty and he's helped
DOZENS of guys get their game back together. He'll show you his step-by-
step system, insights, and ideas to get your "mojo" back in no time... and
become FAR BETTER with women than you ever were before you were in
your relationship)

-The safe and effective way to date MULTIPLE WOMEN

-How to get women that you AREN'T interested in to introduce you to their
cute friends... and create an on-going cycle of "free" dates with little to
 352

NO work on your part

-A major mistake guys make when emailing a woman they've met online
that ELIMINATES her chances of writing you back.

-A way to get women who AREN'T members of a dating site to CALL YOU ON
THE PHONE

-And much, much more...

  JUST ONE of these techniques could MULTIPLY your success with women if
you use it... but chances are you're going to use a lot more than just one of
the things you learn.

  I'm releasing this interview as this month's installment in my "Interviews

With Dating Gurus" Series.

  If you're already a member, sit tight... and get that pen and pad ready for
all the NOTES you're gonna be taking... you'll be receiving it soon.

  If you're not subscribed?

  Well then... you need to sign up RIGHT NOW if you want to get your hands
on this one.

It's "going to press" THIS SUNDAY morning... so you need to get on board
by Saturday January 14th at midnight PST if you want to hear it.

And believe me. You do.

 353

How To Get Over Your Fear Of Women

>>>THIS WEEK'S READER COMMENT:
Hi Obi'Wan De'Angelo,
I was one of, I'm guessing, the heaps of other guys that have trouble with
the ladies that are giant procrastinators.

This was a major problem of mine, I'd think about what to do and what to
say, only to find that I missed my opportunity in doing so.

Then a few weeks after reading "Double Your Dating" I thought bugger this
what am I scared of a little girl who is smaller than me not being interested.
What a way to live life. Worried so much about what somebody else might
think or say. I'm 19 and had never dated, so I set myself a goal of getting
half a dozen dates by the end of the year. Now this may not seem like a lot,
but to me it seemed almost impossible.

I started by phoning a girl that is in my course at uni who's number I already

had, and I arranged a study date. When I say 'I' she basically organized it, I
think she was just waiting for me to show some initiative because she
sounded almost ecstatic that I had phoned'.

And although I didn't jump straight in the deep-end asking a stranger for her
number, that was only a step away. Now I have so many girls to choose
from it's almost confusing. Though I prefer being confused than lonely.

So Dave what I'm trying to say is you have improved my life tenfold. Not
only am I having a great time seeing different girls, I'm also doing better at
my studies because I no longer have in the back of my mind how pathetic I
am. I also have made more friends through knowing so many more
people. All I needed was that first little step and it soon snowballed, because
as you know pretty girls know pretty girls, now it's just a matter of finding
one that meets my now prestigious standards.
 354

Dave IOU my life, thanks.

T.G.
Australia

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for the great Success Story! Nice!

Ah, the concept that is near and dear to all of us men who have started on
the path to success with women and dating...

FEAR.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of embarrassment.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of what a woman might do if we start talking to her.

Fear of what other guys would think if they knew that we needed help with
women.

Fear of what WOMEN would think if they knew that we needed help with
women.

Fear of admitting that we're AFRAID.

...and about 100 others.

But, what exactly IS fear?

 355

And why is it such a problem?

And what can be done to overcome it?

Well, let's start with what fear is, then we'll move on to some techniques to
get past it.

I once heard a great definition of FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

In other words, the things that you feel fear about are usually not real. It's
usually just "false evidence".

You also might think back about the last 10 things you felt fear around. Now,
ask yourself... Did any of those things come true?

In most of the cases, you'll find that the fear did NOT come true.

I heard once that something like 98% of the things that people fear and
worry about never come true.

  I've found this to be true in my own life as well.

Fear is an emotion, or an emotional state. It's an amazing and wonderful

emotion... because it can help save your life in certain situations.

  A hundred thousand years ago, when we were running around in the

desert, we needed powerful, motivating emotions like FEAR to save our lives.

  When you feel fear (especially if it's a response to real physical danger)
you'll notice that some AMAZING things happen. Your eyes open up
wider so you can see better, adrenaline pumps into your body, your heart
beats fast to deliver blood to your muscles, and all kinds of other wondrous
processes are triggered.
 356

The PROBLEM is when we experience fear at times when there IS NO real

physical danger.

We humans are amazing. We can just IMAGINE things and feel fear in
response to the mental images.

And I'm sure you know exactly what the problem is with this... it can
IMMOBILIZE you at critical times.

Have you ever seen a woman that you'd like to meet, but you just couldn't
walk over and start talking to her?

 No, it's never happened to me, either.

 What was the problem?

 Usually, it's fear.

Fear that she'll get upset, or fear that she'll have a boyfriend... or fear that
she'll embarrass you in front of others... or fear that you won't know what to
say to her...

And, of course, when you feel that strong fear emotion, it just FREEZES you
and makes you totally ineffective.

  So, what's the solution?

  Well, there are several ways to overcome fears.

One way is to do the thing you fear. If you do the thing that you fear, and
see that nothing bad will happen, then you eventually overcome it and
become programmed not to feel fear anymore.
 357

For instance, if you're afraid to approach women and talk to them, just DO
IT. Go talk to 50 women in the next week and see that most of them
will respond positively to you (if you don't act like a dumb-ass, that is).

Other ways to overcome your fear when it comes to approaching women

include:

- Understanding the dynamics of male/female interactions better than most

women do.

- Learning how to approach women using the same types of words and body
language that the masters use.

- Learning how to use props or other devices to get a woman's attention

without having to "approach" her directly.

- Learning mental techniques to overcome fears or "reset" your emotions

instantly, anytime you'd like (this is one of my personal favorites).

- Using mental preparation to be completely ready for anything that might

happen.

  ...and there are several others.

I have spent a lot of time in my own personal life learning about and figuring
out how to get past fears and other psychological obstacles with women.

In fact, I devote almost HALF of my Advanced Series CD/DVD Program to the

idea of the "Inner Game"... and focusing on how to get your mind and
emotions in the right place so that when you use your techniques they work
MUCH BETTER when you do use them.
I teach several concepts and guided exercises specifically for overcoming
 358

fear, programming yourself for success, and programming your mind to

succeed with women.

It's taken me many years to find the different types of exercises and
technologies that you can learn in a few hours of listening and practice.

If you've already gone through my Advanced Dating Techniques program,

and you really enjoyed the "Inner Game" materials, then I recommend that
you check out my "Deep Inner Game" DVD program.

This is the ultimate "Inner Game Ass-Kicking" and it will give you the tools to
literally TRANSFORM yourself and eliminate your old programming and
limitations.

This is the only program of its type... that combines scientific discoveries in
psychology and behavior... with tools for becoming more successful with
women.

How To Create "Sexual Tension" To Attract Women

SEXUAL TENSION

Let me ask you a quick question.

It's a question that MOST men do NOT know the answer to...

It's also a question that most women DO know the answer to...

  The question: "What is SEXUAL TENSION?"

Take a minute and "mentally answer" that question. Think it over if you have
to.
 359

I'm not kidding. Think about it.

What did you come up with?

To most men, the words "Sexual Tension" are a MYSTERY.

They just don't make sense.

Or if they DO make sense, they make sense in a way that DOESN'T make
sense. Make sense?

In other words, some guys think that the words Sexual Tension mean
"negative anxiety about sex" or something equally unhelpful.

But, if you go ask a group of WOMEN what the words mean, you'll get a
MUCH different answer.

Women know what Sexual Tension is.

To a woman, Sexual Tension is the feeling that she feels during those times
when she is interacting with a man that she feels ATTRACTION for... but she
doesn't know exactly what's going to happen.

Maybe she can't tell if he's into her, but the conversation is so good that
something MUST be happening...

Maybe he's making her laugh a little bit "too much", and she's unable to
control her feelings towards him...

Or maybe it's obvious that he's interested, but he's so in control of himself
and the situation that he's not blatantly "making a move"... and she's on the
edge of her seat waiting to know what's going to happen.
 360

These are all possible examples of Sexual Tension.

Now, just because one of these situations is happening doesn't mean that
Sexual Tension is present.

But these are the types of situations where it is MOST LIKELY to be present.

With that, let me see if I can take you behind the scenes and give you a
different perspective.

Men and women have some BIG differences when it comes to ATTRACTION.

Men have their "attraction mechanisms" "triggered" by much different things

than women.

For women, things usually begin with a small spark.

Eye contact for a little too long.

A Cocky & Funny comment.

A teasing remark.

  It can be anything.

The point is that SOMETHING SPARKS the ATTRACTION.

Then it GROWS over time.

It doesn't have to be a lot of time, but it does usually require time.

It might take an evening, or it might take a date or two... but if a man does
 361

all the right things he can AMPLIFY one these little sparks of attraction into a
powerful emotional feeling for a woman... that is too much for her to resist.

Of course, as we both know, a man can usually feel a sexual attraction to a

woman INSTANTLY.

I'm sure you've had a woman smile at you and BOY-OY-OY-OY-ING.

SCHWING.
AWWWWW YAYAHHHHH.

What's worse, we totally don't get how things work for women.

So we tend to do all the WRONG things.

And when we do all the WRONG things, women don't even get the little
sparks that can grow into full-blown ATTRACTION.

So let's talk about Sexual Tension...

Why "Tension"?

Most people don't like the idea of "tension".

It's uncomfortable.

It usually means confrontation or dealing with someone who's mad at you or

who doesn't like you.

  Tension is seen as a NEGATIVE by most people.

  And when most men feel ANY type of tension around a woman,
 362

they make a HUGE mistake...

THEY RELEASE THE TENSION.

Because most guys are so caught up in the "tension is bad" way of thinking,
they DESTROY all of the great Sexual Tension that arises in the situations
they find themselves in with women.

  It's a total bummer.

So, the first thing I'm going to ask you to do, for the purposes of
understanding this concept, is to put your ideas of what tension is and how it
works behind you.

Open your mind to a new way of thinking.

Become "OK" with the idea of CREATING TENSION when you're

around women that you feel an attraction for... and even
AMPLIFYING that tension.

And realize that if you can do this, women will LOVE you for it.

Women, and especially ATTRACTIVE women who are approached all the time
by loser guys, don't enjoy dating guys who are boring, predictable, and
lame.

They love guys who are unpredictable, mysterious, and CHALLENGING.

They love guys who keep them guessing what's going to happen
next.

And they love guys who can keep the TENSION BUILDING, and NOT LET UP.
 363

- HOW TO DO IT...

Here are a few ideas for "sparking" that initial tension that I'm talking
about...

1) TEASE.
If you want to INSTANTLY change the way a hot, stuck-up woman is
behaving, TEASE HER about something.

Now, not all beautiful women are stuck up.

Duh.
But, teasing works PARTICULARLY well when a woman IS stuck up... lol.

Maybe it's her big purse.

Or her tall shoes.

Or her "runway model" walk.

Whatever.

Just tease her.

Say, "Hey, what's with the big purse? You're not one of those women with a
live dog named "Precious" in there, along with organic vegan high-protein
treats for when she's in the mood to be pampered, are you?"

It doesn't matter.

Just say something to tease her.

 364

Oh, and it's usually better if you can do this with a STRAIGHT FACE.
This creates even MORE tension.

If you MUST smile, make sure it's the "I'm only smiling because I know that
you can't believe how confident I am that you love me" kind of smile.

2) EYE CONTACT

When a man and a woman make eye contact for the FIRST TIME, it's
USUALLY the man who looks away first.

Men are WUSSIES when it comes to doing things that say "I'm a strong,
confident person".

Looking away when you make eye contact with a woman is one of those
things. BIG TIME.

Instead, if you HOLD the eye contact until SHE looks away (and you don't
fidget or twitch like you've got some strange bug crawling up your shirt), it
will send a strong signal.

Oh, and it has a good chance of "sparking" this attraction that we're talking
about.

3) ROLL PLAY

Often an opportunity will come up when you're meeting a woman where

you'll want to instantly shift into a "roll play".

Maybe she mentions that she's getting a new job. Tell her that you sure hope
it pays well, because she's going to have to support both of you...
 365

And then tell her that you hope she has enough energy to cook at night after
work, because you need a wife who can bring home the bacon, AND fry
it up in a pan...

Then tell her that something she just said screwed it all up for you, and that
you're probably going to wind up divorcing her a week after you get
married... and taking half of HER money.

Roll playing is fun, and if it's done right it can REALLY spark this tension that
we're talking about.

The point is that you have to SPARK it.

YOU must lead the way, and YOU must do something to create that little
moment where things transition into "we're playing like adults". Women feel
this, and respond to it INSTANTLY.

- TURNING UP THE TENSION

Now, once you've sparked this tension and engaged her into an interesting
banter, it's time to DIAL UP THE TENSION.

That's right, I said, CREATE MORE TENSION.

Let's say that you were talking to her about making a lot of money so she
can support you, and she answered with, "Well, I can support you, but
you're going to have to do all the housework, dishes, and take care of the
kids".

Most guys would be thinking to themselves "Cool, she's having fun with me,
I'll say something to make her like me now".
 366

So they'd say, "OK, I can do that" or something equally dumb-assed.

This is the place to TURN IT UP.

Say, "Oh no you don't. I'm the man here. I get to lie around all day watching
TV.., then go out with my friends when you get home".

Reversing gender stereotypes like this, and teasing is all kinds of fun.

At this point the woman might open her mouth with the "Oh no you didn't
just say that" look.

Of course, you should look back at her, raise your eyebrows, and slowly nod
your head, as if to imply "Oh yes, you're going to support me".

This is just one example.

Here are a few more, just so you really "get" what it is that I'm saying.

1) DON'T take advantage of something.

Let's say that the woman you're talking to is wearing a sexy outfit. She gets
up and walks across the room to get something. She KNOWS that
you're going to be looking at her.

  BUT YOU DON'T.

When she turns around to come back, you're looking down at your shoes,
and commenting about what great taste you have.

THIS IS SUBTLE, BUT POWERFUL.

 367

Not taking advantage of a look, a touch, a kiss, etc. when it's available
DIALS UP the Sexual Tension.

2) Push her away.

Let's say that you have your first kiss.

PUSH HER AWAY gently just before the kiss "should" be finished.

Shake your head.

Say, "you're trouble".

TENSION BUILDS.

3) End interactions first.

If you're talking to her on the phone, and you're both enjoying the
conversation, say, "OK, I've got things to do. See ya."

This is MAGIC.

Not only are you ending a great conversation when it was on an UP note, but
you're also not trying to get anything from her.

Most guys cling and stay on the phone forever, then ask for a date or if they
can call later.

  DON'T DO IT.

  Just get off the phone.

 368

If it's the end of the date, leave just a little bit too soon.

The point is to create TENSION in the moment.

- EVERYDAY SITUATIONS

In just about every situation there is an opportunity to TURN UP THE

TENSION.

When you do this, you create a very special emotion for women.

It's that combination of her laughing, her not knowing what's going to come
next, and you not acting like a WUSSY...

It's that special curiosity that is aroused inside of a woman when she doesn't
know what's going to happen... but she WANTS to know...

It's that magical moment when it's obvious that most guys would start acting
like CLINGY WUSSBAGS, and you're just leaning back as if you've got
all the time in the world... and you need nothing.

  These things spark and amplify Sexual Tension.

And they INSTANTLY communicate to women that you understand something

that most men DON'T.

  Now, of course this isn't a simple topic.

  There's a lot more to it.

In fact, one of the most important factors in creating sexual tension is your
ability to not act needy... which has more to do with your self image
 369

and overcoming your insecurities than it does with your "behaviors" alone.

As you probably know, I believe that it's as important to work on your "Inner
Game" as it is to work on our "Outer Game".

It's as important to learn how to change how you think and feel as it is to
learn the words and actions.

You must start on the INSIDE, and work your way OUTSIDE.

You can have the 100 best pick up lines ever created memorized word-for-
word, but if you care too much what women think of you, then THEY WON'T
WORK WORTH A DAMN.

In fact, almost NOTHING WILL WORK if you don't have your Inner Game
together.

Examples Of Approaching Women + Being Cocky & Funny

 ***QUESTION***

Dear Dave,

 I bought your book and study it very closely, needless to say Like all your
other customers I've been experiencing far more then double my normal
dating. But now I've got serious problem that YOUR BOOK DOES NOT TOUCH
ON WHATSOEVER. What I need to know is how do I turn them away after
they start getting obsessed. I'm now dating my boss' daughter and cannot
break her little heart and she (9.5) is completely into me. With her I'm
always cocky & funny and she is obsessed with trying to make me nice,
always trying to get me to hug her or make me say something nice. Don't
get me wrong I do say nice things but I make it tough for her just like you
said. Anyway, I feel that if I start acting like a wuss now (which I cannot do
 370

naturally anymore or I get disgusted with myself) she still won't leave me. Is
it possible to find another way to shutdown her attraction response without
hurting her feelings and without me looking like a complete wuss????

Your apprentice.

ML Canada

P.S I'm saving up for those CD's, I heard the samples on the net that was
some deep stuff.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, I feel your pain. You poor, poor dear.

You probably should have been thinking about this before you put the Double
Your Dating WHAMMY on her, man.

  If you want a girl to fall in love with you, do all the things I teach, PLUS talk
to her or see her every day.

  If you DON'T want her to fall in love with you, but instead just want to keep
things rather casual and just have fun, and then only call her a couple of
times a week, and only see her once a week (maybe twice on occasion).

  Seeing a woman too much leads to the love feelings, so remember that
next time, Mr. Smooth.

  Maybe I should write a book called "Halve Your Dating" for guys like you.
I'll think about it.
 371

 ***QUESTION***
Dear Dave:
First and foremost I love the free news letter. Very insightful to say the least.
It has help me regain some lost confidence after a recent break up.  The
success stories give me hope.  Like one of your last subscribers I also have
been addicted to chivalry and being the nicest guy any woman has ever
meet. I have had much success with this approach, but sooner or later I get
cast into the friendship zone. It happened once again to me and I am done
with it. No more Mr. Nice guy. C&F all the way from this point out. With
respect to my break up she is still wallowing in and out of the relationship.
Started being C&F and she appears to like it.  No more wuss ass sh** for
me!!!!! Get a lot of laughs from her now.  I am playing the wait and see
game. She even called me up and said lets get back together.  What do I do?
please I need help now.
Thank you
JP Long Island New York

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
What do you do?
WHAT DO YOU DO?

You learn how to stop acting like a WUSSY, you actually STOP acting like a
Wuss, your girlfriend starts to really dig you again and you ask me what to
do?

Do whatever you want to do, genius. You're back in control now! Just don't
turn back into a Wuss Bag, OK?

  If you really like this girl, then start dating her again.

  Just remember that if you start acting like a girly-man again, things will
probably get bad again.
 372

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Dave,

Gotta tell you that you're right on the mark. I'm a straight female and I read
some of your other advice that was passed on to me by some friends with a
commentary that they thought you were totally off-base.

Gotta tell ya that there is nothing more impressive than a confident and
funny man.

I swear I must have run into one of your trainees - on e-mail he was cocky
as can be - and funny! Went out with him once - thought I might date him
again - until he called - every day - twice with sort of pleading
messages ....not a chance!

Dave, you're the man! Can I have your number?

C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for the validation.
And by the way, if that guy started calling you twice a day, then he wasn't
one of mine!

I'd verbally bitch slap him ten ways from Sunday if he told me such a story!
lol...

In any event, I'd give you my number, but I'm VERY, VERY selective. Send
over some pictures and we'll talk about it.
 373

 ***COMMENT***
Hey I just want to give Double your Dating 5 stars for the excellent writing
and research put into it.  I have read just as many books as David on the
same subjects but I have not put all into practice. David you hit it right on
the dot of what one needs to do in order to reach the ultimate outcome.  1
million thumbs up and now it is time to implement. Hey put this in there for
future reference for everyone CARPE DIEM - JUST DO IT TEMNET NOSCE -
KNOW THY SELF Two maxims one needs in order to accomplish the
accomplishable or mission impossible.

Thanks A

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for the testimonial.

By the way, "Carpe Diem" translates into "Seize The Day", and while you
have the translation correct on the second, it's actually spelled "Temet
Nosce". You just gotta love the Internet for checking up on things like this

I'm not sure that it's polite to correct someone who has just given you a
compliment, but hey, I'm not always polite.

Thanks again.

 ***QUESTION***

Dave,
If it's possible to say this without sounding gay, I LOVE YOU MAN!
I've been getting your letters for quite a while, and I was always kinda
skeptical about the stuff you were suggesting because it sounded to good to
be true. So I decided to test it out for myself.
 374

Being shy I tried some of the stuff from the online personals e-mail you sent,
and man does it work! I sent out 5 messages, and less than 24 hours later
I've received 3 replies, 2 of which want to meet me already. This stuff is
amazing!

I do have a question though about the one that didn't want to meet right
away. She said she's a little nervous about meeting people off the net until
she really knows them well. How can I bust her (and girls like her) balls
about this? I know that another C+F message would change her mind in
a hurry.

To everyone out there... BUY THIS MAN'S BOOK!!! HE IS THE JEDI MACKING
MASTER.!

Your humble Padawan

J.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, NO it's not possible to tell me "I LOVE YOU MAN" without
sounding at least a little gay.

Second, congratulations on actually taking action and getting some results.

Third, as for the girl who is a "little nervous" about meeting people off the
net until she really knows them, just email her and say...

"OK, why don't we hook up in Vegas and get married, this way we'll know
each other well enough for you to want to meet me.”

  Or, we could just get together in a public place in the middle of the day in
 375

broad daylight with a hundred people around and talk over a cup of tea.

I personally like the Vegas idea..."

  ...or something equally funny. Then get her phone number and call her up.
This has a soothing effect in these types of situations.

  Make sure when you talk to her to say things like "Let's meet for a cup of
tea for 20 minutes... this way if you're really freaky I can escape
with minimal time wasted."

This kind of thing is funny, and puts the idea in her head that YOU'RE the
one who's picky and selective.

  Great job!

 ***QUESTION***

Hi Dave,
I had downloaded your e-book and had been for months i start practicing
what you had taught.

Phone numbers start rolling in by the dozen and every day I got soo many
girls calling me for dates that my phone nearly explode of miss calls.

Now, i got to the stage where this girl got physical with me and i use your
bridge tactic and got the kiss then went to the petting stage...
Then she ask me whether i am doing all this for sex... I didn't answer her
and played the lay back tactic and say I wanted to sleep. She wake me up a
few times to force me to answer her and I say nothing... and tell her that if
she can't make up her mind she can leave. In the end she left.
 376

Now. the question is . What should i answer her? if she ask the million dollar
question (AM i doing it all for sex)?

R. Part of South East Asia Conservative Region

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Interesting question.

I'll tell you what... there's a lot of power in delivering the truth in a brutal
way.

  I would probably answer something like:

"No, I was thinking that since we were kissing passionately and feeling each
other's bodies, that this was probably going to lead to pure friendship."

  If she pushed the issue and asked something like "Do you just want sex or
do you want to have a relationship?" I'd probably answer:

  "You're right. Let's just go get married tonight..."

  The point is that by using a very direct, sarcastic, Cocky & Funny attitude,
you can address the issue and basically say "Look, it's obvious that we both
want to have sex, and it's OK if we do. It doesn't have to mean anything in
particular, and if things work out between us, then they do."

  As you know, I don't like the idea of being dishonest or misleading people.
But in this case it might be a good idea to address the situation and her
comments from a different perspective.

 ***QUESTION***
 377

Hi Dave,
I am living proof that a guy cannot get girls based on looks alone. A few
weeks ago, my buddy took me to a keg party when I knew absolutely no
one. I noticed a very attractive girl checking me out, and later one of her
friends introduced me to her, and she was obviously nervous and interested.
So I decided to keep my sights on her for the night. At first she would offer
to go get me another beer, she would sit on my lap, etc. and I totally blew it.
I acted who you would describe "wussy". I complimented her way too much,
thinking that this would get me further. It didn't. By the end of the night, she
was not at all interested in me. I had no idea what I did wrong until I
started getting your newsletters.

A few days ago, I had a blind date with a very cute girl who had a boyfriend
at the time, and wanted something new. I decided to take your advice and
drop the wussy persona, and go with something new...the cocky/funny
gimmick. I kept it up throughout the night, ribbed her, teased her, I
did slow movements, talked slowly, paused between sentences, and
acted like I owned the place (we were at a restaurant). When I
dropper her off at her apartment, I walked her to the door, and she invited
me inside! I went in, and we started to kiss. At first I teased her, not letting
her have any, and that drove her even more wild! She then asked me to hold
on a second, she went to the phone, called her boyfriend, dumped him, hung
up, and then she came back over to me! I ended up spending the night, and
I'm seeing her again tonight. Thank you Dave! My payment for your ebook is
in the mail right now!

J from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

 >>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, insight from the front lines.
This one insight that you've described will literally change your success with
women forever.
 378

It's hard to "logically" get the concept of how acting like a WUSSY will drive
women away, while acting like a "masculine man", busting on a woman,
teasing her, playing "hard to get" and other such things can work so well.

  But it does.

Thanks for the story.

***QUESTION***

Dear David,
For starters I just want to say your work is amazing and I really give you a
lot of credit for really figuring this stuff out and not just trying to sell a magic
cure for losers. Anyway.......I've listened to your Advanced Series and read
your book and I'm actually starting to figure this stuff out, slowly.

I went over to this girls house I met online (cocky and funny all the way) and
I can tell that she totally likes me, I haven't closed the deal yet, but this is
not the point of my letter to you.  After I left the girls house, I met a friend
of mine for a drink and realized something about him that has been elusive
to me for many years. He understands this deeper level of communication
that you talk about. I leaned back and observed him over the course of the
evening. All he did was be himself, but he managed to ATTRACT two
different women in the same night by just being totally cool and comfortable
with himself and treating them like his "bratty little sister". He is one of my
best friends and I never realized he had this ability because it's not really
what he lives for. It's just a part of him and he knows exactly when to bring
it out. He dresses funny and is in many respects, kind of "a dork".  But that
doesn't matter, he has slept with many girls, many of them very gorgeous.  I
could never figure out what was so special about him that the girls were
attracted to.  I brought it up to him later in the night and he had no idea
what I was talking about.
 379

He said to me that he basically just treats women (hot or not) the

way he would anyone else. This may seem simple, but it really struck me
as profound.  As for my situation, I'm currently in a slow learning curve.  I
seem to be making gains all the time, but then it seems like I'm taking
one step forward and two steps back. I realized after tonight that I need a
lot of work and need to constantly REFRAME my inner thoughts because of
some self-esteem issues.  I'm on track though. I've made a commitment to
figure this out, no matter what.

Your appreciative and loyal student C

P.S.  I know this was a bit long-winded but one more question. Is there
going to be a L.A. seminar anytime soon? I really think it would be great to
meet you and some of the other amazing guys from the CD series.  I also
need to try and meet some other guys who are either better than me or at
least have the same interests and goals.  I'm really struggling with this
issue.  I don't know how to handle this. I need someway to find other
guys studying or using your material.. Ever thought of designing a section of
your website for guys to meet up on? Thanks for listening Dave.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

  Isn't it amazing when you watch someone who you've known for years
interacting with women... and see things that you've never seen before?

  In my Advanced CD Series (as you know), I spend a lot of time talking

about this deeper level of communication... and when you know to look for
it, and what specifically to look for, you'll see so many things that you've
never even imagined were there.

  It's always mind-blowing to me to see a guy interacting with a woman in

front of a group of people and seeing him tease, bust balls, and be Cocky
 380

& Funny, etc. while all the others look on, amazed. The woman is obviously
very into the guy who is doing this stuff, but the magical part is that THE
REST OF THE PEOPLE WATCHING HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON. The
other men in the group often think that he's making all kinds of huge
mistakes and that he's being a jerk.

  Now you're starting to get it.

 ***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I’m using your stuff and it works excellent, I’m 40 i have a 23 year old who
id rate as an 8.5 looks, 8.5 personality and a 9 in the sack. I never call her,
hint that I have other women and treat her like a hooker in bed, thing is she
calls me every day, fuc** like a rabbit, say she loves me and says she
shouldn’t feel this way as she could have a nice guy who treats her well ;-]
but she loves ME.... Now thing is, I’m from the uk. In the uk I had lots of
action from women, since I came here, not much at all....in the uk, i was the
quintessential bastard to the birds, when i came here, i heard from women
that they wanted a nice man, ah..so i acted like one, got no where for 7
years, came across your stuff, put it to use and got laid FAST, thing is, I did
this stuff before in England.. thanks for bringing me back on track...you the
man buddy, you the man....

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

  I get a lot of emails from guys who say things like "I used to do this stuff,
but I forgot that it worked... and thanks for reminding me."

  In fact, when I ask a lot of guys who are really successful with women how
they learned, they often remember stories of what they used to do, and
techniques that they used to use that they forgot about.
 381

  Of course, when I ask them why they stopped doing those things that used
to work, they usually shake their heads and say "I don't know. I guess I
just forgot about it".

  lol...

  I'm glad you're getting your game back.

  Best to you.

 ***COMMENT***

I am not sure what freakin' world that these guys live on but some of these
ludicrous stories that they are making up are B.S. I do not care how much
game you have some of these stories are should be in the B.S. hall of
shame. Some of these stories I buy, but the one about the gas station and
how she checks his oil; then waits for him to get done paying for his gas and
walks out with him arm and arm. I have as much game as the next guy and
most of these techniques/tips I have used or have considered, but in all
honesty try and print "real" stories.  I have been "around the block" and
have been very successful with the ladies, but the whole oil story is
"greased".

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

  OK, here's the deal...

  Every single one of the emails that I put in my newsletters is real. I don't
make any of this stuff up.

  I delete all the names and personal data from all these emails to protect
privacy, but I keep every email that I get on file to prove that
 382

they're all real, individual emails from real, individual people.

  And let me tell you, I've personally seen (as in witnessed with my own two
eyes) AND personally experienced stories that make the oil checking
girl look like an after-school special, OK?

 ***COMMENT***

Dave,

  I just finished listening to the Audio program from the recent seminar.
Thank you for including SO MUCH interesting and varied material in there!
I loved it, and its food for thought for both the 'inside game' and the 'outside
game.' I want to read some of the books you recommended and listen to the
whole thing again, and maybe again. You were serious about tossing in
everything you had, plus the kitchen sink. So it’s a great thing to have in a
format that one can listen to again and again. I am going to try to distill it
into 10 or 20 maxims or catch phrases (just cause that’s how I think best)
and if I get that far I will share it back with you.  (Attraction is Not a Choice,
Women can't control attraction if they feel it and you can't change it if they
don't; Cocky and Funny in equal proportions, Words are only 7%, etc.).
Clearly this 'stuff' is not really about 'getting' women, but about each of our
lives, learning, maximizing, full(er) potential and becoming who you want to
become, and the women thing is part of it, but the tools are broader.  So I
am writing just to thank you for DELIVERING MORE than promised in your
'ads' for the audio program.
Thanks for going 'full-out'!

(And your ass does look fat in those pants).

MD
 383

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

  You're welcome. I appreciate the feedback.

I've put so much time into making my CD and DVD Programs as complete
and understandable as possible, and it's great to get emails like yours from
guys who are enjoying them and having success.

 ***QUESTION***

Dave, God, Jesus, My Baby's Daddy,

Here I write once again.  I spoke last time of the incredible success I was
having, and here I am once again after an INCREDIBLE Friday Night. First
of all, TO THE READERS, if you haven't got the ADVANCED SERIES yet, it's
good for ME...and good if YOU ARE interested in joining the priesthood.
About seven months ago, I bought the book... but even then I had a few
things I was struggling with... and the CD Series has changed everything.

Quick Tips: Works Cited => David DeAngelo

1.) You must go after the "definite major purpose" that Dave talks about.
This is NO quick fix. It take a LOT of time with reframing, learning
techniques, etc.  Don't be like Oprah and "dedicate" yourself to something
(in her case fitness)...only to quit.  If you throw in the towel, you will not get
women and will have to settle with lonely, portly Oprah look-alikes.
WHOOOAHH.

2.) Change must come from within.  NO technique will get you where you
want to get. You MUST HAVE the self-image to make it happen.  The
best analogy that I use is this: Take the funniest comedian you know
(Seinfeld, Rock, etc) and repeat one of his jokes verbatim to your friends.
 384

Why is it that he gets the amount of laughs that he does and YOU don't?
Something else is going on.  This applies to everything especially GIRLS.
There's more going on than just pick-up lines.

3.) Body language, voice tone, no nervous ticks, and eye contact.
POWERFUL.

4.) Have Dave father your children, but be CAUTIOUS folks, he has this
"thing" for Brad Pitt...I'm still wondering about you Dave...lol. If Dave isn't
willing to donate his "seeds," then find some friends who "get it" and HANG
out with them.  Please though, offer no sexual favors.

**Success Story: This happened tonight at a Chili's in the NY area***  My

friend who "gets it" told me tonight that he didn't agree with getting a girl's
e-mail rather than her number. I said it's better to get BOTH, but he was still
disagreeing. I remembered the whole "I'd like a female's opinion on
something..." and decided I'd give it a shot.

Setting: A crowded Bar with lots of people eyeing this set of cute girls.  I
then, walked up, with everyone watching me and approached who I thought
was the cutest.

Me: Hi, my friend and I were talking, and we wanted a female's opinion on
something.

Her: OK

Me: I think that when you first approach a girl you should get her e-mail
because it's so hard to reach people these days.  My friend, however,
thinks that phone numbers are better.  My question to you is what do you
think?
 385

Her: *Smiling* I like phone number better, it's more personable (She
obviously doesn't know about the e-mail, phone number technique)

Me: How old are you? (Like I'm qualifying her)

Her: Older than you...

Me: Let me guess your age...48

Her: *Laughing* No

Me: Ummm....46

Her: 23 (I'm 21, so don't let age slow you down)

Me: Listen, nice chatting, but I gotta run. Write down your phone number.

Her: Ok....**This completely threw me.  Her FRIEND then grabbed a pen out
of her purse, handed it to her, and looked for a napkin to write the number

Me: How cute...you brought a secretary (referring to her friend)..does she

pay you well?  Ohh...I see... she buys you drinks.

**At this point, they were both laughing, she handed me the phone number,
and I of course had to drill her.

Me: Is this the number you actually answer..

Her: Yeah...and then she started to hand it to me.

**Her friend then grabbed it from her***

 386

Her FRIEND: Let me make sure this is the number I call...umm...yeah this
is it

***************************
I'm currently "talking" to five girls, and LIFE is great. If you don't believe the
above story happened, then you don't get it.  Well, Dave, give the whole
fathering children idea a spin, I see it right now... "Double Your Son's
Dating."  I think the url is available.

--GJG, NY, 21

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

  1. You are a freak.

  2. I kind of like it.

  3. This is some great stuff. It should be read again by all of those reading
this right now.

***COMMENT***

David,
I've just finished listening to the Advanced Series CDs.  For the first time in
my life (33), I "get it". I really had no idea how comprehensive it would be.
You've changed my thinking entirely. It's like all these years I've been living
a lie and wondering why things haven't been working out with women. It
becomes so clear when you see it.

I emailed you about a year ago and you called me a "wuss". That was a
shock for me. No-one has ever said anything like that to me before. It's hard
to admit now but I was a "wuss" with women. I really hate that word - but
 387

it's perfect for "wusses".

What you've produced is more than a dating program, it's a system for men
on how to live.
Thanks.

S. NZ.

 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Sometimes we all need a little "tough love".

When I called you a Wuss, that's what I was dealing out to you.

  I'm glad you're finally "getting it" after "all these years"... I know it took
me awhile to figure out all this stuff for myself.

  Now, what I'm about to say might sound a little weird, but go with me
here...

  One of the problems I think we guys are facing is that we don't have good
"role models" or good "mature guy friends" to help us learn how to be
better MEN.

  I think that most of us grow up, but never learn how to be MATURE.

  One of the qualities that women are intensely attracted to is

MATURITY in men.

  If you ask a beautiful young woman what her biggest frustration is with
men her age, she'll almost always respond with something like "Guys my
age are so IMMATURE" or "Guys my age are just STUPID".
 388

  Attractive young women who can have any guy they want are attracted to
a particular set of QUALITIES that are usually present in MATURE men.

  Here's the challenge:

  What if you're a regular guy who never had a dad who was a good role
model... who taught you how to be a strong, confident, attractive man?

  What if you've made it to "adulthood", but you still have tons of baggage
from childhood, a bunch of insecurities, and massive FEAR around women?

  What if you want to overcome your "past" and build a new future for
yourself? One that involves success attracting women in your life?

  And I'll tell you something, it's a HUGE challenge.

  It might be the BIGGEST challenge single adult men face today.

  I know that I had to face it.

  And I know that it sucked, because I couldn't find an "easy answer" to this
stuff.

  For me, it took literally YEARS of research, trial-and-error (mostly error -

from which I learned a lot)... and learning.

  And now that I "get it", and understand how to attract women, I want to
help YOU get it.

  The best and fastest way I can help YOU to get it is to have you go through
my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
 389

  This program is a CONDENSED version of everything I learned about how

to attract, meet, and date women...

  ...and it took me a DAMN long time to put together.

  This program is literally JAM PACKED with hundreds and hundreds of great
ideas, techniques, and systems for everything from raising your self-esteem
to meeting women in every possible situation.

  It really is a GOLD MINE of secrets. And I absolutely guarantee that you will
attract more women after you go through it.

  This program will help you shed that "old you" that is limiting your success
with women... and put on a "new you" that KNOWS how to confidently
approach, meet, and date the women you want.

Women, Body Language, And Attraction

**QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi Dave,
I have had your book for many months... Anyways, I used to be a super-
wuss. Only got unpleasant fat chicks. Bought your book. Cleaned up my hair,
my clothes, my apartment. Took baby-steps to improve my self-esteem and
eliminate my insecurities. Now, even though I am not, nor ever will be a GQ
model, I walk around with my head held high and walk slowly as if to say
'hey world, here I am!'. I practiced online and met this girl who, after
spending an afternoon just shooting pool (the whole time I accused her of
cheating) and throwing snowballs at her (especially after she told me not
to), tried to seduce me. Then I started practicing on the girls at work. Just
little baby-steps. 'Hi' then 'what's your name', etc. And now I can go out
in public and do that with a complete stranger.
 390

And I do. Almost every day. And I keep a journal of what I notice.

Anyways, here is my question. Since I can now talk to a beautiful woman

I've never met before like she's an average joe, I've noticed body language,
from the women, that I never used to see. It signals nervousness to me.
Examples are: looking at the floor instantly when I say hi, nervous laughter
after she tries to make a lame joke or just some statement, fidgeting,
running her fingers through her hair a lot. It usually happens after a couple
minutes of her meeting me, even when they don't seem nervous at all at
first. And I don't always bust on them, but sometimes I do. I just try to stay
myself. Upbeat but not emotional. I give lots of eye contact and have even
seen pupils dilate right in front of me. So I'm confused. Is her being nervous
around me a good thing? Or am I doing something wrong? I figured since
you spent years at this, you were the man to ask. Even if you don't want to
use my email, your time in addressing this issue would be greatly
appreciated.

Thanks,
W., Ohio
 >>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for your email, you've shared some really interesting points
and brought up some issues that I think a lot of guys can benefit
from...

  First of all, great job working on all of those little things that add up
to a big improvement.

  Most of us will never be GQ models, but we can all do our best with
what we have.

  Too many guys take the attitude of "I'll never be a GQ model and
 391

therefore I shouldn't brush my teeth or comb my hair either"... which

is horrible.

  Women are far less concerned with "physical beauty" than men, but
they ARE concerned with how a man takes care of what he has.

  Also, good job practicing online and in the real world. The more you
practice, the better you'll be when the opportunities present
themselves in the real world.

  And now, to address your question...

  You are JUST STARTING to see things that have been happening all
around you, and now you need to start understanding what they
mean.

  When you begin to treat beautiful women like they're just another
person, and you start communicating with them in a way that says,
"Hi, I'm a confident, sexually aware man... and I want to find
out what you're like as a person" it has ALL KINDS of interesting
effects.

  Some women will get nervous, some will get turned on.

  Some will even run away because they're intimidated.

  I'd like you to imagine something for a second.

  Imagine that you're an attractive woman who walks around all day
getting approached by men, asked out, and generally treated like
you're special. Imagine that this is what you've become accustomed
to, and that you have a basic way of responding to all of these men:
 392

You smile politely and say that you have a boyfriend, and if the man
persists you act cold and walk away.

  Now, imagine that all of a sudden a man shows up that is

OBVIOUSLY not "taken off balance" by your looks, and who seems to
be different. In fact, you can't tell what's going on because he's not
acting like a needy Wuss who wants to treat you special just because
you happen to be physically beautiful.

  Further, what if you actually started to feel a GUT LEVEL

ATTRACTION for him while he was talking to you, and it surprised you.

  HOW WOULD YOU ACT?

  You'd probably start to get a little nervous, and feel a little

uncomfortable.

  Right?

  It's natural for humans to feel nervous when they're in the presence
of someone who's making them feel feelings that they don't often feel.

  But just because a person is acting NERVOUS doesn't mean that

they're not ENJOYING it.

  Now, with all that said, the only thing that really matters when
you're talking to a beautiful woman who you're interested in seeing
again, is
the RESULT.

  In other words, it doesn't matter how you feel, how she feels, what is
said, etc. in the end.
 393

The only thing that matters after it's all said and done is whether or
not you see her AGAIN.

  So here's what I'd do if I were you...

  USE THE 3 MINUTE EMAIL/PHONE NUMBER TECHNIQUE WITH EVERY

WOMAN YOU TALK TO!

  While you're still learning about subtle female body language and
attraction, you need to get the email and number to follow up with
later. ALWAYS.

  The more you do this, and then follow up later, the more you'll begin
to connect RESULTS with how a woman was acting when you were
FIRST talking to her.

  Does this make sense?

  You'll even start to be able to tell what works and what doesn't based
purely on the EMAIL responses you get from women you've met.

  You're on the right track, and you're figuring out things that most
men won't even KNOW EXIST in their entire lives... so stick with it.

  ...and if you're reading this right now and you'd like to be learning
how to read SUBTLE BODY LANGUAGE and how to make women feel
the magical emotion called SEXUAL ATTRACTION for you by
communicating with them in ways that other men DON'T, then I
HIGHLY recommend that you check out my Body Language DVD
program.
 394

How To Call A Woman To Ask Her Out

I have a question for you...

When you get a woman's number and you're picking up the phone to call and
"ask her out", does it bother you?

  Do you get freaked out?

  Do you start thinking about exactly what you're going to say, how you're
going to say it, how to deal with her rejecting you... etc.?

  Do you ever get NERVOUS when you're dialing the phone?

  You know that feeling when you just start getting anxious for no logical
reason, and you just CAN'T control it?

  Have you ever had to actually HANG UP because you were so damn freaked
out... and you just couldn't follow through with it?

  OK, now another set of interesting questions...

  Have you ever called a woman, and started talking to her, only to realize
that she was in a COMPLETELY different mood from the last time?

  Have you ever had a woman "turn cold" on you all of a sudden?

  It's almost like you're talking to a different person from the girl you met
just a day or two before... and it makes no sense to you... right?

  And finally...
 395

  Have you ever worked up the nerve to call, gotten her on the phone, had a
great conversation, but when it came time to ask her out, you froze up
because you didn't know what to say?

  Or even worse, have you ever gotten to the end of the conversation and
asked her out, only to have her answer with:

  "Well, maybe... call me Friday afternoon... OK?"

  or...

  "Actually, I'm going to be busy all this week, but thanks for asking...
(silence)"...?

  Have you ever had one of those conversations where you could just TELL
that something wasn't right... and that she wasn't going to be taking you up
on your date offer, or calling you back at all anytime soon?

  So why all the problems?

  What is it about these particular few minutes that constantly ends in

problems for guys?

  I personally think that this issue comes down to a few key DEEPER ISSUES.

  And I think that if you don't have these other issues "handled", you're
going to keep running into problems... and NEVER even know WHY...

  ...which sucks.

  I mean, it's bad enough to keep having a particular problem and not figure
out how to solve it... but the idea that the solution is in doing something you
would never think of is a little bit maddening.
 396

  In other words, I think that this is all about understanding the problem, and
actually PREVENTING it from coming up... rather than trying to "solve it" in
the moment.

  Let me put it this way...

  If you're dialing the phone, and you're starting to feel nervous, then it's
already too late to solve the problem.

  No quick fix will help you.

  Or if you're on the phone with her and you have just asked her out on a
date, and she says "Um, let me call you back in a few days and tell
you"... and you start to get that sinking feeling because you know she's
blowing you off... IT'S TOO LATE.

  There's no "magic pill" at this point.

  The answer is PREVENTION.

 THE MAGIC FORMULA

  So, let's take a few minutes and talk about the issues and what CAUSES
them.

  Here are some of the "root causes", and how I see them...

1) Having no other options.

  If you're sitting at the phone with ONE phone number in your hand, and
you haven't been out on a date in a long time, and you are feeling
 397

DESPERATE, you're probably going to get VERY nervous.

When you have no other options, the single one in front of you becomes
VERY valuable.

  Translation: You want it TOO badly.

  This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional system, because at some

level you realize that if you screw this up, it's all over. And you know
that it's all going to happen in just a few SECONDS.

  The pressure is too much!

2) Putting too much importance on a single girl.

  Now, if you have a girl that you've been dating for six months, and you've
decided that she's one in a million, it makes sense to put a lot of importance
on your relationship with her.

  But, if you don't know a girl very well, or you haven't even dated her at all,
then you are only setting yourself up for major disappointment by putting
too much importance on ANY girl.

3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.

  This is a HUGE issue.

  Most men "subconsciously" behave and communicate like they're trying to

IMPRESS the woman of their desires.

  When you think about this, it only makes sense... of course you'd want to
impress the woman you like... so she'll think you're a cool guy and want to
 398

be with you.

  But have you ever thought for a moment how an interesting, attractive
woman sees it when a guy is TRYING to IMPRESS her?

  Well, here's the INSTANT and SUBCONSCIOUS response that women have:

"He's trying too hard. There's something wrong. This guy must have
something he's trying to hide... and he must be pretty insecure."

  In other words, the INSTANT you do something or say something that is an

obvious attempt at impressing a woman, her radar system screams:

"WUSSY!"

4) Having expectations and being attached to them.

  You might think of this one as a variation of "wanting it too much"... only
slightly different.

  When you start getting your hopes and expectations up, you begin to get
ATTACHED to them.

  Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT to your little fantasy.

  Bad idea.

  Women don't date guys who assume too much, act too comfortable,
or fall for them too quickly.

  Remember, beautiful women have guys falling for them left and right.
 399

  In fact, they almost EXPECT to go out on one or two dates with a guy and
then say, "You know, I really like you..." or some other equally predictable
sentiment.

  Just like being desperate can destroy your chances with a woman,
liking a woman too much, too fast and creating expectations leads to
crazy, stupid mistakes as well.

  Now, think over what I just said...

  I'm basically saying that if you want to cure the problem of freaking out
when you call women to ask them out and the problem of screwing it up
when you have that first conversation and ask them out the first time, then
you have to go INSIDE first... and do some preventative maintenance on
yourself.

  And the GOOD NEWS is that this stuff is not only good for you, it also helps
you get even MORE dates with interesting women.

  So, here's what to do about this particular problem:

1) Get more options.

  If you go out one evening with a couple of friends, and you meet a REALLY
hot girl... and you wind up having a fun conversation and getting her
number, what should you do?

  RIGHT! Go get at least ONE MORE girl's number. More, if you can.

  This way, when you're picking up the phone to call (or sending out emails,
or whatever), you've got another woman to call right after her...
 400

  In other words, if it doesn't go well, no big deal. No sweat at all.

  Instead of putting all your "hopes" in this one situation, go get more
options... this will prevent many problems as well as giving you more
women to date!

  And think about it... when are you MOST likely to get a woman's phone
number? When are you most likely to be in a great mood that actually
ATTRACTS women?

  Exactly... in the moments after you've already gotten another woman's

number.

  So take advantage of this time!

2) Dial the phone expecting it to NOT work out with this girl.

  I have news for you: Most women have something about their personality,
behavior, future plans, etc. that is going to disqualify them from being
good "potential mates" for you.

  Now, I'm not saying that "all women are screwed up", etc.

  What I AM saying is that you need to realize that the only reason you're
freaking out so much is because your EMOTIONS are running the show.

You need to think about how rare it is that you actually meet a girl
that is COMPATIBLE with you... that you'd enjoy spending time with
even if she wasn't good-looking.

  If you have this in mind as you're dialing the phone, you won't have that
"I'm desperate" vibe going on.
 401

You won't be talking like a guy who has a gun to his head either... which is
a good thing... because women get weirded out by this kind of thing.

3) Instead of asking a woman out, tell her what you're doing, and
then tell her she can come along if she wants.

  Why is "asking a woman out" early on a bad idea? Because if you don't
have a world-class understanding of male/female dynamics, you're
going to come across as a guy who is trying to use food as date-bait.

  In other words, if the first thing out of your mouth is "I'd like to take you
out to dinner" it's going to be interpreted as "I don't think you're probably
going to accept an invitation to spend time with me unless I throw in
something extra...".

  Weak.

  And that's how SHE sees it.

  The alternative?

  Tell her that you're going to be doing something and that she should join
you.

  "Hey, I'm going to go down to Starbucks and get a cup of tea. You
should join me. I'm way more fun than whatever else you were
going to do... and that's a fact!"

  Extra bonus points:

  Hint that she's missing out if she doesn't accept immediately.

 402

  If she hems and haws, or hesitates... just interrupt and say, "Hey, you're
the one who's missing out".

  I also like "You know, never mind. I guess you don't like to have
fun...".

  Great stuff!

  This is solid Cocky & Funny material, and it's the right time to use it.

  You know, I personally used to get VERY freaked out when calling women
for the first time on the phone... and "asking them out".

  Now that I understand this particular "moment in time" better, and now
that I understand more of the "dynamics" of what's going on, I get MUCH
better results personally...

  In fact, I never get "nervous" anymore when calling women, and I rarely if
EVER have a woman "flake out" on me.

  Now, in this newsletter I've shared a few points to help you get better
results in this particular area. Use them. They'll definitely help you.

  You should read this newsletter right before you call every one of the next
10 women you meet... in fact.

  But as you can probably tell, this is just one of MANY important facets of
success with women.

  In fact, this is just scratching the surface of the skills you'll need if you
want to have CONSISTENT success with the most DESIRABLE women.
 403

  The reality of this situation is that if you want to take control of this area of
your life and not walk helpless with women anymore, you're going to need to
take more steps to get yourself educated on this topic.

  And what's the best way to do that quickly, easily and without spending
years of time and lots of money learning the HARD WAY?

  My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program. This program will take

you step-by-step through all the key theories, concepts, and techniques
you'll need to start meeting and dating more women starting IMMEDIATELY.

  And here's another interesting benefit that comes from going through my
Advanced Dating Techniques program...

  It actually CHANGES HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD.