Writer's Oasis Call with

Story Coach Lisa Cron

April 2018
Below are the questions I ask of every scene I read – they reflect how surprisingly layered each
and every scene is. My advice? Use these questions as a checklist for any scene you write.

1. Do we know where we are, and why? (Think: context)

2. Is something happening, externally?
3. Do we know what the protagonist’s agenda is in this scene – that is: what does he/she
want to have happen?
4. Do we know how this scene affects protagonist’s overarching story-long agenda?
5. Are the protagonist’s expectations on the page?
6. Is there external conflict?
7. Is there internal conflict?
8. Do we understand why all the characters are doing what they do, and are they acting in
accordance with their overarching agenda?
9. Does the scene force the protagonist to make a hard choice?
10. Are the protagonist’s internal thoughts on the page as he or she struggles with this hard
choice?
11. What does the protagonist realize at the end of the scene that in some way changes how
he/she sees things? (Think: a small “aha” moment)
12. Will the consequence of this scene play forward, and is it clear?

© 2017 Lisa Cron | All rights reserved | www.wiredforstory.com

Here’s a rough draft of what an origin scene might look like. I’ve annotated it so you can see,
blow by blow, how a scene plays out. Backstory is woven in as the protagonist, 10-year-old
Janie, tries to make sense of what’s happening in the moment and what to do about it. She
continually reads meaning into each thing that happens, and imagines how it will affect her
future agenda. At the end she draws a conclusion about human nature, and voila! Her misbelief is
born:

I sat on my bed, tapping my pen against a pad of paper. Establishes where Janie is,
and what she’s doing. My parents had always told me that talking about problems was
the best way to solve them, so I was making a plan: I was going to march into their
bedroom and read off the six reasons I had for why going to sleep-away camp was a
bad idea. Establishes what she wants, and her plan for getting it. I had considered
memorizing the reasons instead of reading them off a list, but last year my fourth grade
teacher had chosen me to recite a poem in front of the entire school and I got so
nervous, I threw up right on Principal Marshall’s shoes. Backstory, lets us know a bit
about her, and how old she is (in 4th grade she’d have been 9, so now she’s 10). I could feel
that same nervous fluttering in my stomach, that same terror — what if I couldn’t
breathe? What if I forgot my words? — I wasn’t going to risk that again. She turns to
backstory to anticipate what might happen in the future – and decides NOT to memorize her
list.

I reread my list one more time, glad I’d saved the best reason for last: You guys
will be sad with me gone because the house will be really quiet. She tells us what she expects
will happen, and why. Then I stood up, stepped around my half-packed duffle and the
brand new plaid sleeping bag dad had bought while I stood in the sporting goods store
trying not to cry, She gives us a bit of backstory, so we see how much this means to her, and
that her dad isn’t the intuitive type. and, taking a deep breath, I headed down the hall. 


My mom just didn’t understand what it was like to be shy. She was a lawyer.
Once I saw her stand in front of a room full of people to make an argument and she
didn’t barf on anyone. And dad had so many friends coming and going all the time that
I knew he could never understand why I preferred the quiet comfort of a book.
Backstory again, as Janie reflects on why her parents don’t understand what it’s like to be
her. This gives us insight into all of them. And notice how it didn’t “stop the story” but rather
deepened it.

“Just read the list of reasons Janie,” I told myself. I paused just short of my
parent’s bedroom door so I could build up my courage. I thought about how much they
loved me, and relaxed a little. Surely when they heard how much it meant to me to stay

Sample Origin Scene/Lisa Cron/lisa@wiredforstory.com

home, they’d understand. Here, Janie anticipates the future. Maybe we could even go to
Disneyland again, or Six Flags Adventure — our family vacations were always such
fun. Backstory – Janie is sure this would be a lure for her parents – while alerting the reader
to a fact that escapes Janie: perhaps theme park vacations aren’t quite as fun for them as for
her. But just as I was about to go in, I heard my parents laughing. I pressed my body
against the wall, curious about what was so funny. 


“It’ll be so much fun!” I heard my mother say. Wow, it sounded like they’d
already decided to let me stay home. I breathed a sigh of relief. 
Janie reads meaning into
what she hears, and anticipates the future. (But for the reader, it’s a big “Uh oh! Poor Janie!”
;-)

“Just the two of us,” Dad added. “Adults-only at long last! It’s been way too
long.” At first I thought I misunderstood. Janie gives us her gut reaction to what she
heard.

“I can’t wait to be alone with you, just one more day till camp starts,” Mom said
in a low voice I’d never heard before. 
 Another example of how the writer can signal
something to the reader that the first person narrator doesn’t understand. WE sure know
what that low tone of voice means. Janie, not so much.

They wanted me to go. They were looking forward to it. Janie reads meaning into
what she’s heard, and draws a conclusion. Crushed, I ran back to my room. A few minutes
later I heard my parents in the hallway, when they saw me sobbing, they rushed in,
“Janie, what’s wrong?” 


I tried to stay calm, but it didn’t work. “I don’t want to go to camp,” I wailed,
“Please don’t make me go. I’ll be good, I’ll stay out of your way, I promise.” 


“We’d love for you to stay home, there’s nothing we love more than being with
you,” Mom said, “but we know you’ll enjoy camp even more.” 


“We’ll miss you like crazy,” Dad said, “but it will be good for you to go to camp,
you’ll make a lot of friends there.” 


I looked up from my nest of stuffed animals. Perfect use of physical description –

rather than telling us that Janie has a bunch of stuffed animals in her room, this “nest of
stuffed animals” tells us that Janie has taken refuge in them, and telegraphs that that’s where
she feels safe. My parents were lying to me. They were lying right to my face. Janie
makes sense of what she heard, and draws a conclusion. With a sudden chill, I wondered
what else they’d lied to me about. Janie takes this new info, and looks for places in the past
that might now have a very different meaning than she’d believed at the time. Clearly they

Sample Origin Scene/Lisa Cron/lisa@wiredforstory.com

didn’t love me as much as I thought. Janie draws a conclusion from what she heard her
parents say. Maybe they regretted having kids, and unless I did exactly what they
wanted me to do, they wouldn’t love me at all. With this new information Janie looks to
the future, and decides to change her behavior.

I dried my tears. “Okay,” I said, getting up and stuffing my sleeping bag in its
sack, realizing I had to go. Leaving my parents didn’t seem quite so bad now, and for
the first time I was glad I was shy. Janie’s worldview has shifted, things look very different
now than they did at the beginning of the scene. I had no intention of making friends at
camp. Janie’s future looks different too. I mean, if you can’t trust your parents to be there
for you, why risk it with strangers? And finally, based on what life has just taught her, Janie
draws a conclusion about human nature. Thus, her misbelief is born!

Sample Origin Scene/Lisa Cron/lisa@wiredforstory.com