A Little Bit 1

Pikes Peak Community College

A Little Bit On Me

Socialization Paper

Gloria Nikolai

Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for

SOC 101-125

Introduction to Sociology I

By

Sari Barnes

Colorado Springs, Colorado

July 2012
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Abstract

The story of my life put into sociological perspective and the main social agents.
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A Little Bit On Me

Telling your story isn’t all that simple. Neither is mine. In the simplest of words, I am

still growing to know myself, who I am, and eager to see who I’ll become. Every aspect of my

life has shaped me as a person. You could say that I have been socially formed, like any other

person, but everyone is unique. My background, my culture, my status, my friends, my family

and the current world I live in today- my generation, they set the stage of my story as of now.

The Very Beginning

I was born in the big city of Denver, Colorado on October 14th, 1992 to two young adults.

My mother, Victoria, wed at eighteen right out of high school to my father, Michael, who was

twenty two. She had me at nineteen as her first born. My family is religious, predominately

Christian, and thus where my name is derived. “Sari” is Hebrew for “princess” and is another

form of Sarai, which was Abraham’s wife name before God renamed her Sarah because of the

birth of her son, Isaac. Later on my parents would have my two biological sisters, Erica and

Hannah. My parents divorced when I was eight, which isn’t uncommon with my family and

certainly not uncommon now that we’ve hit the 21st century, being that divorce rates have

become a higher statistic. Social class wise, my parents weren’t that well off in the beginning.

My dad was working/lower middle class and worked as much as he could to provide for us as a

family. With his work stress and drinking at the time came a short fuse, which led to all the

fights between him and my mother, which led to the divorce. My mother was then forced on her

own with three little girls. Because of the divorce, it set back both my father and mother in their

social status. My dad, not making much as it was, now had to pay child support for three children

and lived by himself. My mother had gone to med school before and after she had me and

worked as a nurse. She had to work even harder as a single mom. After she lost her job at one of
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the clinics which she worked, we lost the small apartment we were staying in (we moved after

the divorce) and had to fall back on my Nana and Papa (great grandparents). We lived with my

Nana and Papa for two years, that’s how long it took us to get back on our feet. You could say in

that short amount of time, my great grandparents helped raise my sisters and I. They contributed

to how I am today in the respects they did help raise us for that short time. They’re still part of

our lives today. My mother contributed to the feminization of poverty, being that most of those

deemed “poor” in society are female, usually single mothers, and contribute by sixty one percent

(Kimmel and Aronson, 2009). She broke away from this when she met my step-father. Both of

my parents would remarry only a few years later after the divorce, gaining social mobility,

moving from one social class to another (Kimmel and Aronson, 2009).

School and Medical Problems

Around age eight I had started gaining weight. My mom though it was just growth spurts,

that I’d lose it eventually because I was still growing. My parents thought my body would even

things out. However, by age ten, I’d rapidly gained 100 pounds and I was deemed “overweight”

for my age. As a child, I was very active, so it never made sense to my parents why I would gain

so much weight in such a short time. When I went to the doctor, they ran some tests and

diagnosed me with hypothyroidism, and a nasty case of it at such a young age. By this time, I

was in fourth and fifth grade and the heaviest female child in my classes. The kids in my classes

picked on me. I was bullied for my appearance, being called “fatty” and “chubs”. One little girl

at a sleepover once commented that my belly was so big, like her pregnant mothers, so I must’ve

been expecting a baby. They say words don’t matter, but when you’re a child, they cut very deep

into who they are and how they see themselves. There comes a lot of stereotypes with being

overweight, like “lazy” or “sloppy”, especially through the media. Some people would go as far
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as “unmotivated” or “careless”. Stereotypes, are generalizations people in society make that are

“over simplified and exaggerated” against other individuals (Kimmel and Aronson, 2009). I felt

pressured to become the image others wanted me to be. At ten years old, I didn’t think I was

pretty because that’s how I was made to feel about myself. Around age twelve I was hospitalized

for thoughts of and attempted suicide. I really can’t say what was all going through my mind,

since it was quite a lot. There was pressure in school, being bullied, drinking alcohol, trying to fit

in and dealing with the fact that my parents weren’t together. I was diagnosed with bipolar

disorder. That loaded on top of everything I was dealing with. Now I had this stigma sitting on

my shoulders as “the crazy kid” now. By definition, a stigma is “an attribute that changes you

“from a whole and usual person to a tainted and discounted one” (Kimmel and Aronson). Kids

with mental/emotional disorders can be seen as deviant to parents whose child is deemed

“normal”, because we’re breaking that social rule of holding composure, being “normal” in

every day society. Many times it’s seen as a handicap and becomes one’s stigmatized identity: it

is perceived by people in society that your illness is your responsibility and therefore, it is your

fault you have that illness (Kimmel and Aronson). It really is a misconception, it isn’t my fault at

all, I just deal with what I’m dealt because these define me as an individual. However, I never try

to use it as an excuse to justify bad behavior or habits of mine. I take medication so that I can

regulate the hormones in my brain so that I can function. I take mine so that I don’t break down,

shut down and go out of control. I keep control with medication. These are all also the statuses

I’ve acquired. These are the set of ascribed status, things received involuntarily throughout my

life. It is the primary socialization of my early life. I hold limited power, it seems, being born

female to a young couple of low income, later divorced, and diagnosed with physical and mental
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illnesses. However, I’m white, my primary language spoken is English, living in the United

States, so I’m not entirely limited.

High School Identity, Religion and Sexuality

Another part of my ascribed status is my sexuality. Personally, I don’t give two shakes

what people think about it, sexuality of any sort isn’t chosen, it is natural in my opinion. I found

myself in my sexuality at thirteen. I didn’t really pay attention to “crushes” and whatnot until this

period in my life. I noticed boys, but I found that I noticed girls too. I had attraction to both and

attained the sexual status of bisexual. Yes, I’ve had girlfriends and boyfriends. This went against

my family norms, values, and the roles which were expected of me in a religious family, again

Christian. These norms were that you went to church, behaved yourself in church, and that you

read the Bible, took it seriously. Both my mother and father look down on my sexuality, but I’m

thankful they haven’t disowned me because of it. My religious friends and part of my peer group

also have negative feelings about it in high school. They think I’m set for damnation, Hell is my

only option. In their little high and mighty attitudes, I’m inferior to them in the eyes of God. I

guess there’s some role conflict here. Role conflict is where people try to play out different roles

or contradictory roles depending on their setting, at the same time (Kimmel and Aronson). I

really do want to please those in my primary groups, being my friends and family, so

occasionally I go to church and participate in religious activities with them. It’s part of my

superego, following those norms, regardless of how I see things. However, I feel that I must also

be true to myself and follow the id, not worrying about what others think, going against those

morals set and disregarding their reactions. Personally now, I believe in God, I pray to God, but I

don’t have a set religion. I just have faith there is something greater and that God listens to us. In

middle school and high school, I found myself in music. High school is when I flourished in
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music, especially sophomore year. My choir teacher, Mr. Corey, was a huge influence in my

reason to become a teacher someday. He gave me that goal by being one of the best teachers to

me, being a distinct role model in my life. Essentially, he gave me the emphasis I needed in my

role performance, being a great choir student of his. I’m naturally talented and part of my

achieved status is being a well student (some even called me a geek or nerd in certain classes,

depending on the subject), though I’m not perfect by any means, and being a singer. It is part of

my identity, and I try my hardest to fit the role of being a good student and a good singer. The

cliques and peer groups I am with are really thought of as the nerds, geeks, and out casts. My

friends and I are seen as “socially awkward”, or at least that seems to be the common stereotype.

You could say I’ve conformed to this group for the fact that I am a little “socially awkward”

myself. I’ve acquired the label of being an “otaku”, someone that is obsessed with anime and

manga, mainly Japanese pop culture. I go to conventions, I draw that style of art, I read it and

buy merchandise. You could call this part of my master status, I think what the “cool” kids set

as their norms and values is, in the nicest words, outrageous and stupid. I honestly don’t feel the

need to go out partying almost every weekend and I don’t feel the need to follow popular fads to

be accepted. Fads being behavior and fashion styles that are highly popular for a distinct, short

amount of time (Kimmel and Aronson, 2009). Most importantly, I don’t care about being part of

the out-group, because being awkward can be enjoyable. My friends and those I associate with

are my in-group, where I feel accepted.

Conclusion

I have become who I am through the way I’ve been socialized from experiences,

background, gender, culture and social status. I’m just a nineteen year old girl trying to establish

more of myself, finding my significant role and status in an overwhelmingly diverse American
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society. Though most of who I am is pretty much defined already by an outside world, outside

forces, and their view of me, I still manage to try and attain a higher place in society.

References

Kimmel, M., & Aronson, A. (2009). Sociology Now (pp. 40-539). Boston, MA: Pearson.