M Idea For Yo o How t b Sober
Tips, tricks, and ideas I’ve gathered from being penpals with 2,744 people
(and counting!) over the past five years ...
rs , le m sa hoora t yo for
reachin ou !
eaching out for support is a good thing. There are
lots of people who want to quit drinking who
aren’t looking for support. You are. There are lots
of people who haven’t even started to recognize that
they need to quit. You have.
And you’ve emailed me, so you’ve ‘raised your
hand’. I know you don’t realize it, but that puts you
ahead of lots of folks. It really does.
I’ve received emails and have been penpals with
2,744 people as of today. This does not make me an
expert. I am not a doctor or a specialist. I am just a
regular sober girl.
One thing I do know for sure in all of this penpaling
that I’ve done: you have to want to quit. I can’t
convince you that being sober is a good idea.
But even if you’re not sure you want to quit, I’d say
this: “quit anyway, for a while, 100 days at least, to see
how you like it.”
Yes, you have a voice in your head that screams
“Drink Now.” But there’s ANOTHER voice that asked
for this newsletter thingy.
So let’s put aside your drinking voice for now, and
you can press MUTE on Wolfie for just a second.
Now, rea thi lis wit your booz
voic turne OFF
1. For the first 7-9 days sober, you’re going to feel a
bit like you have the flu: tired, not interested in
doing chores, unenthusiastic. You will do best if
you sleep, order takeout, catch up on TV, and rest.
Decline social obligations and vegetate. Do the
minimum required to not get fired from your job.
2. If you’re not sober now, I want you to look ahead
at this coming Monday. (If your booze voice starts
up with “but I have to drink for this event,” or
whatever, just ignore it for now.)
3. Here are some things that you will want to have
in place when you start on Monday. You’ll want
some kind of replacement drink – I’ve found that
bitter is better. You’ll want to remove the alcohol
from your house if possible, especially for the
first week. If you have a spouse or roommate, ask
them to put their booze where you can’t see it.
Don’t have a bottle of champagne staring at you
every time you open the fridge (even I don’t do
that and I’m 4+ years sober). Have some take-out
menus or frozen dinners ready (like buy 7 boxes of
macaroni and cheese for the first week!).
4. Remove as many temptations as you can. Don’t
wait until next week or for a ‘better time’. There
is no right time to start. That’s the booze voice/
wolfie. [Wolfie says: “but I have to go to this event,
but I have to take care of... but next week is ...”
Doesn’t matter. If you came down with tonsillitis
next week, you would skip some things.]
5. If you’re like me, you’ll need some kind of support.
Needing support isn’t weird, it’s normal. If you
were running your first 5K, you’d have support
(books, audios, coaches, groups, online, buddies).
If you’ve been trying to quit for a while and you
haven’t been successful, then we can say a few things:
what you’ve been doing up to now is good but it’s NOT
quite enough. It’s better to have MORE supports to
start, and then ease off when you’re 60-90 days sober.
Us boozers, we like to ‘sip from the straw of support’
instead of ‘gulping’ (link to mini-video about support
on page 2).
If you’ve been half-assed at trying things to be
sober, you can just say this to yourself: “I’m going to
quit for 100 days even if I hate it. I want to see how
much better being sober is, Belle assures me it’s worth
it. I can’t quite yet imagine 100 days but I can imagine
2 days at a time, so I’m going to do that.”
(And to be fair, when I quit, I mentally pictured it as
2 days at a time and I got myself a fruit treat every 2
days as a reward.)
If what you’ve been doing up to now hasn’t worked,
then now it’s time to NOT just try harder, but to TRY
DIFFERENT.
If you had a 5 year old girl next to you who was
crying and crying, you’d try DIFFERENT things until
she stopped crying. You’d suggest a treat, you’d
suggest a bath, you’d distract her, you’d tempt her
with pancakes, you’d turn on a good movie – you’d
keep trying different things until she stopped crying.
TRY DIFFERENT.
... /2
 or whatever else you think might help, anti-
Magi lis wit super power : ing anxiety...). If you don’t think you can honestly
t d differentl speak with your current doctor, then go to a clinic
and talk to someone else.
This list has super powers. Pick 10-15 things you can 19. Know that crying is totally normal, required, and
do differently starting on your quit day. probably necessary.
1. Write in a journal or blog every day for the first 30 20. Think about what you’re going to GET by being
days (or 60). sober. The benefits coming to you. How great it’ll
2. Read sober blogs at least 1 hour every day (for me, be once the crappy part is over.
it was 1-2 hrs a day).
3. Rethink your evening routine and give up making O m sit ther ar other support for
dinner if it’s too much. Either make meals in the
morning to reheat, or eat easier things (pasta & yo . An al of thes thing ar fre ...
sauce) just to begin, or order take-out. The links below work now. If they don’t work later,
4. If you have signed up to be sober penpals with me let me know and I’ll send you updated links.
through the Jumpstart class, then email me every • Blog [tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com]
4 hours (yes really), morning, noon and night to
• Daily micro emails [microemails.com]
check in (you can do this as long as you need to,
but usually it’s only for the first 16 days or so). • One minute audio messages [sobermessage.com/
signup]
5. Plan your 30 day, 60 day & 90 day treats now. Go to
Amazon.com and put them in your shopping cart.
6. Have daily treats for the first 2 weeks, and then
I wor har t ensur tha 80% of
treats every second day thereafter. wha I writ an produc i fre
7. Sign up for the Sober Jumpstart class and/or a If you’d like more support and accountability, I have
call with me. Talking with someone – counsellor, additional tools and resources available for purchase.
therapist, mentor – it makes a HUGE difference.
8. Go to bed early every night for 7 nights, as early as
•
humanly possible. Yes, 8 p.m. is good. Even if you
don’t sleep.
9. Schedule a bath to occur earlier in the evening so
that it sets the mood for the rest of the night. Bath
first and then dinner.
• A special bundle of Archived Podcasts (listen to
10. Change your schedule for when you eat dinner audios while you walk, commute, or do dishes.
(earlier/later). If you have to feed kids or others Saves time! (save 10%))
earlier, fine, but you can eat at different times –
• Have a sober penpal for a year with the Sober
just for a month. Schedule something to coincide
Jumpstart Class (save $75)
with wolfie time (like feed kids and then listen to
an audio in the tub for half an hour). • Or you can make a direct donation to fund the
mailing of these kinds of newsletters. It’s nice to
11. Go to a face-to-face meeting (even once a week
get mail from France, oui?
would be helpful to begin – hire a babysitter or
trade babysitting if you need to). • All links found at: www.soberlinks.me/april22
[discount links work until April 22, 2018]
12. Give up any expectations that you’re going to ‘get
stuff done’ and just be sober.
13. Try to do some kind of exercise every day, even if
it’s only 10 minutes. The more exercise, the better,
and walking is good.
14. Rent / stream some new TV and movies that you
can watch only if sober, as a sober treat. Have you
seen the Amazon series Transparent? It’s genius. Now i ’ tim for somethin els .
15. Pretend, just for a while, that you’re sick, that you You’ve done alcohol research. You know what
have the flu. You need to take good care of you. Very happens. What you maybe haven’t had is a period
very good care. That you come first. Just for a while. of sobriety research. You can begin your sobriety
16. Give up doing the laundry so often. research. Starting today would be good. Let me know
17. Give up any ideas of a clean and tidy house for now. when you’re ready to feel better :)
18. Talk to your doctor about medication (either
anti-booze medication or maybe anti-depressants