If anything in your life has ever been

worth fighting for…

“Fight for Your Marriage”
Finding your real soul mate and your life partner is very important in life. Marriage is a
beautiful relation, it is the only relation that is nearest to your heart. You feel blessed
whenever you are looking toward your life partner. Any kind of disturbance in this relation
damage your soul badly. It is the most terrible feeling in the world when you recognize that
things are not working in your relation. A failing marriage is the worst relationship disaster
you can ever imagine. It ends with the countless wounds, trail of pain, disenchantment, and
anguish.
It may also happen that both partners want to be together again but they feel it is too late or
there are too much-broken things in between them that will restrict them to bring their
feelings for one another back. It is not easy to heal the wounds. It is not easy to bring all the
things back. It is not easy to admit that your relationship is on the verge of end. But the good
thing is that you can get back the things on track.
Mostly the major reason behind the ending of marriages is that men try to replace their wives
with some other woman. Research shows that men mostly replace their spouses as compare
to women. Women are naturally committed to their marriages. If they take the decision of
marriage they devote themselves totally to their husbands and family. Nature has given the
feeling of devotion and sacrifice to women. Mostly men behave careless and disloyal in
relations.

How to Deal With Rejection?

Rejection is part of life. You have to face the rejection many times in your life. Whenever a
person faces the rejection he might be feeling broken, sad, or angry. Most of the time we
passed through the bad time of rejection without too many issues.
But the feeling of rejection in marriage is somehow a complicated issue. It is the toughest
time when your life partner led you down, discredit, and disgrace you. It is a terrible time
when a person who promised to give you love, attention, honor, and respect till the end of
life, gives you a cold shoulder. When you committed your life with a person and he pushes
you away, it hurt and damages your soul badly.
This might be the new experience for you and your partner but let me tell you one thing
rejection by your partner is more common than you think. Sometimes these experience is
mild and short term and you bring your relation back from the tough time. But some
experiences are very much tough and long term that ends with harsh results. These tough
experience wreck your self-respect and self-esteem. It damages your mental and physical
health. Being rejected multiple times can damage your personality badly. You may lose your
self-confidence and you may fall in the inferiority complex.
There are many ways in which your spouse make you feel rejected. Mainly they show a lack
of closeness and lack of understanding. Sometimes you are rejected physically. You may feel
body shaming, unattractiveness, and worthless when your spouse you don’t want to be
physically involved with you. You may feel valueless when your spouse to shut down your
advances. His affection towards you becomes less and less every day and you feel that he
doesn’t love you anymore as he once used to.
Rejection has a few types:
1. Material rejection
2. Verbal rejection
3. Emotional rejection

Material rejection:
Material rejection happens when you tell your spouse about the important household thing
but he shut your demands and ideas down. It may look insignificant but it will badly impact
on your personality.

Verbal Rejection
In this sort of rejection, you try to talk but your spouse doesn’t respond to you in a good way.
In this type of rejection, he may respond with a bad or harsh word or choose not to respond at
all. It may badly affect your self-confidence.

Emotional rejection:
There are many times in life when you need your spouse near you and console
you. In an emotional rejection, the spouse leaves you alone when you need him emotionally.
Most people think that it should not matter and you have to ignore the rejections most of the
time as you choose to be in this marriage. But it proves the biggest mistake. People have to be
honest and firm in relations they have to admit if it hurts otherwise you might not solve the
problems correctly.
There are a few actions that you need to try if you want to solve the problems.

Step1- Show off your feelings:

The first thing you need to do is to be very clear in your matters. You have to find out what
you want from them. You have to express your feelings upon him. So he really knows that
his behavior hurt you? Does he know that you are struggling to be in the relationship? Talk to
him. Show him that his action left a bad emotional impact on your personality. Spend some
quality time with one another and try to find out what is going wrong in this marriage? Tell
him what you truly need from him either it is respect, value, or physical relationship. You
have to show him to love you more.
Step-2 Help your husband help you:
Most of the time wives usually behave aggressively when they are rejected by their
husbands. That gives a bad impression of their personality to the husband. All you need to do
is to behave kindly and show your insecurities. Listen to him and then talk about your
problems. Complaining takes your relationship far from you instead of complaining to show
him what he should do to make you feel more accepted. Tell him that you are feeling alone.
Ask him to plan a date or a candlelight dinner at the weekend. It may happen that he will not
respond to you in a good way but the start of good behavior that is taken by you leave a good
impact on your relationship.

Step-3 Start taking the first step:

If you want to save your marriage you have to put your own efforts to do this. You needed to
show more love and affection toward your spouse so that he could realize his mistakes and
injustice. If he does something for you you need to appreciate his efforts so that he could
realize that his actions matter to you so then he might starting doing more for you, he tries to
make you feel happy and then his efforts give a turning point to your marriage. Firstly you
need to improve your attitude toward him you have to look for the positive things and ignore
the negative moments. Try to look at things from his perspective. Evaluate the matters and
your attitude toward them. Remember those moments when he shows his love for you but
due to your bad mode you ignored all.

Step-4 Take responsibility for yourself:

You must take responsibility for yourself. You may not reject your spouse just because he is
not feeling for you as he once did. Once you give up with your relation no one could save it.
You spouse also feel rejected when you are not attending them. It will leave a negative
impact on his brain and he considers that you are not willing to live with him. You should
realize that you have to develop a feeling of love and affection toward him. If you don’t
change your feeling and attitude toward him no one can fix it for you. If you are feeling
unattractive, undesirable, inadequate it is just because you develop a negative thought about
yourself in your mind and you continue feeding those thoughts.

Rebuild Your Self-Esteem

You have found that your spouse is cheated upon you it may give a direct hit to your self-
esteem. It is very hard to bear that the person you are in love with is going to replace you
with someone else. It is hard to bear that the family you have started with so many dreams are
now going to end. The most painful thing is that when this shock has worn off, the most
painful after effect is the feeling of inferiority. You started feeling that you are not attractive,
lovely, beautiful, intelligent, and interesting anymore. Your self-confidence on your body,
your mind, and your personality shattered. You started falling in the dark sea of insecurities.
But always remember that you are the one who brings yourself back to life. Many people are
suffering from this trauma every day in the world but if we study about the most successful
ladies of the world we come to know that these are the strong personalities, they learn from
their bad times and build their selves again and for this time they build them more strongly.
Remember that you are the same interesting and amazing person now as you were in the past.
No one and no incidence can take your personality away from you. Only you have to rebuild
your self-confidence and self-esteem. No matter if you have changed after 10 years of
marriage. No matter if you lose the shape of your body after kids. You have capabilities and
determination in yourself. You can be in shape again. Some work you have to do with your
mind and ego and then everything will be fine again.
With these simple steps, you will be able to look in the mirror and start smiling at the
wonderful person who overcomes the painful bump in the road just like a champion.

There are the following steps that will teach you how to rebuild your self-esteem:

Step 1: You're Not Alone.

When you found that your partner is cheated on you you may feel rejected and isolated but
always remember that you are not alone in the world that dealing with this situation. It will
give you some kind of comfort that you are one of the million people in this world that
dealing with rejection every day. You would surprise to know that both men and women are
involving in disloyalty. Both men and women are playing the cheating games with their
partners. 57% of the men and 54% of women admitting to disloyalty with their partners. 74%
men and 68% of women say yes, they would have an affair if they knew they had never be
caught. Surprisingly 56% of men and 34% of women admitted their extramarital affairs even
though they are happily married. So according to research, there is no connection between
being unhappy in marriage and cheating.

Step 2: Stop criticizing yourself:

All we have an inner critic and every day we have to deal with it. it is said to be the harshest
thing when you are in your bad times. You may not notice how many times in a day there is a
background noise that starts talking to you. Negatives thoughts will tell you that you are ugly,
you are not able to be a successful person, your body is unattractive, you are fat and you are
not beautiful anymore. All these noises revolve in your mind all day until unless you put a
stop to it. You have to follow my instruction to put an end to the critic and get back your self-
confidence:
When you realize that negative thoughts have started in your mind you have to mentally yell
“STOP!”. Then you have to shift your concentration to the positive things. Start thinking
about the happy times. Think about the party you had enjoyed a lot. Just start taking the
notice whenever the negative critic hits you and start changing it with the positive thoughts
and soon you develop the habit of positive thinking.
The Harmful Effects of Self-Criticism:
Constant self-criticism is directly linked to depression, physical pain, anxiety, chronic
fatigue, bipolar disorders, eating disorders, and eventually suicide.

Step 3: Give It Time.

It is very difficult to suffer in bad times. It is no other method of relief except time. You will
soon recover yourself from the intense pain of being cheated but after some time has passed.
Think about any bad experience of the past, think about any of the relationships that have
ended now, no matter what are the reasons but now you are not as much as sensitive you
were in the past. You are not feeling that much pain and heartache now. It might be a sad
feeling to remember the bad time again but it would not hurt you the same after some time.
Time has healing power. Time heals the wounds. Trust yourself. Time may be hard but you
are priceless. Never waste your personality in sadness. Trust in the healing power of your
heart, it will recover on its own time. Take a long deep breath and start going with the flow of
life.

Step 4: Love yourself the Way You Are:

When you are cheated by your partner you start counting your faults. You start finding the
reason why he left you alone. You might start noticing that you are too short, you are a little
fat, your hairs are curly. You start assuming the things that ate not real that have no link with
the failure of your married life. Don’t catch up in the trap of disappointment. Blaming
yourself for everything is self-destructive. When you try to find the mistake in yourself it will
slow down your healing process. You might think that everybody is noticing your mistakes
and that will increase your insecurities. Always remember the good side of you. Try to be
positive all day. Never think that your body, your face, or your intelligence is less than others.
Once you starting see yourself equal or upper than all your self-confidence increases and at
the end of the day your beauty, the uniqueness of your personality is all your own, no one can
take it away from you.
If You Think everyone noticing your Mistakes:
It is a fact that people usually spend a lot of time thinking about themselves. They spend little
or no time to remember what other people are doing or saying.

Step 5: Neutralize the Negatives, Think Productive:

You can magnify the things that you want to change in yourself. Like “I’m fat” or “I am
ugly” these sentences give the damage to your self-respect and slow your healing process.
Categorize the things that you want to improve and then turn it into your goals. For example:
Replace “I’m fat,” to “I start joining the gym from this Sunday and I will definitely lose 10
pounds”
Turn "I'm stupid," into “I will join the computer course in winter holidays and enhance my
computer skills.
Instead of "I'm ugly," say "I am going to take an appointment from a famous salon and pick a
new hairstyle for me this Sunday”
By just changing the statements or by neutralizing the negative thoughts you will get a new
direction of life. You will set your new goals that boost up your self-confidence and you will
get the critic off your back. Train your mind to think more constructive and positive. Always
try to get a realistic perspective on every situation and this is the only method to gain more
self-confidence when you start achieving the goals that are set by yourself.

Step 6: Nobody is perfect:

When you start comparing yourself with the person your partner cheated on you with only
lead you to the frustration and insufficiency. By comparing you only start assuming the
things that are not true at all. You start thinking that the other person is beautiful, attractive,
and perfect. But that is actually not a fact. It is just jealousy thinking that lowers your self-
esteem. Always remember that neither your partner nor any other person is perfect in this
world. Everybody has some pitfalls but the wise person knows how to hide them and how to
change his weaknesses into strength. Never waste your precious time thinking about others.
Just care for yourself. Put all your energy into healing your wounds. Make a diet plan. Take
care of your health. Value yourself.

Step 7: Develop the Courage, Take a Risk:

The best method to boost up your self-confidence is to do what you want to do. Many times
in the past you must be restricted to do many of your favourite things, or you might be
hesitant to try something new in the past so the best time to try those things is now. Try a new
game, go on an adventure. Whether you will succeed or not but you will surprise to realize
that try those things that you're ever dreaming for, boost up your courage and self-confidence.
Whether it is on a large scale or a small scale but you should develop the courage to try
something new without the fear of failure. Something that you may think about doing is:
1. Take admission in a class to learn a new language, new skill, or painting.
2. Take a new weird hair colour.
3. Take a ride on the hot-air balloon.
4. Try a high jump or sky diving.
5. Go on camping alone.
6. Write an article on your favourite topics.
7. Go for a candlelight dinner, date yourself.
8. Wear a different colour T-shirt.
9. Go for a movie.
10. Start Blogging.
Always listens to someone else or stay in their comfort zone by ignoring your wills is linked
to low self-confidence and a decrease in self-esteem. Do what you want to do.

Step 8: Help Someone.

Try to help others. Start a social life. See around if somebody needs your help try to help
them as much as you can. Give of yourself whatever capacity you can. Help poor people. Try
to distribute food in street beggars. Donate to a charity. Give the school fees of a poor little
child. When you help others you will raise your self-esteem. You start valuing yourself. You
feel important for the world and for the people in it. in this way, you develop positive
thinking in yourself. You start watching the world differently. You come to realize that there
are many problems in the world that people are facing every day. You start realizing that
thousands of people are hopeless. Try to be their hope it will give you kindness and self-
worth.

Step 9: Chin Up and Straight you’re Shoulders for a Boost of Self-

Confidence!
According to research by straightening your posture creates the chemical changes in your
body that result in extra boost up in self-confidence within 3 minutes. When you straighten
your posture, raise your chin, straight your spine and when you bring your shoulders back
you mentally feel superior and more important. This position is known as “power-pose”.
Power pose raises your confidence hormone “testosterone” level by 20% and lowers your
anxiety hormone “cortisol” level by 25%. The higher level of testosterone and lower level of
cortisol results in a higher level of self-esteem and self-confidence. Try it right now and you
will feel the power!

Step 10: Get Moving!

Exercise leaves a positive impact on our bodies. Exercising for 30 minutes, 3 times a week
have a positive and noticeable impact on our self-confidence. Exercise cause sweating and
breaking of sweat or a short period of time results in the release of beta-endorphins. Beta
endorphins are a hormone that minimizes discomfort and pain and maximizes pleasure.
Sweating also lower the amount of cortisol (Anxiety Hormone). Exercising not only helps
you to lose weight but also causes the release of good hormones and enhance your self-
confidence. Aerobic exercise is also very beneficial especially when you are doing exercise
with other people it leaves a good impact on your self-confidence because they are somehow
emotionally supporting you. It is not important to have a tough exercise, a moderate exercise
also helps you to achieve your goals. Only thirty minutes of workout is enough for you. If
you are already exercising you should increase the time by a few minutes and those few
minutes will provide you an amazing self-confidence boost.

Step 11: Write About Your Accomplishments:

Always keep a pen and a diary around you and write down all of your achievements either it
was big or small. Consume at least ten minutes of your day in writing. You may write the
everyday achievement like I finished my painting of the dining room today, I finished all the
work before time, I fixed my washing machine with the help of YouTube, and the big life-
changing achievements like, bought a new car, bought my first house, lose 10 kg of weight in
one month, etc. when you write your achievements you may realize that you have an
important position in the world. You may develop your self-confidence by reading your past
achievements. You start believing in your abilities and you will proud of yourself always
Often think about your potential!
Research shows that the people who have high self -confidence and self-esteem think more
about the achievements and growth while the person with low self-esteem mostly thinks
about avoiding the mistakes.

Step 12: Talk positively with others every day:

Try to talk with others nicely. Choose the words carefully. The words you speak are not only
the words they have a serious effect on your self-esteem and your mood. Speaking well with
others not only enhances your self-confidence but also motivate others to create a good
feeling towards you. Research shows that when you speak well with others it will cause a 55
increase in your self-esteem and if you speak harshly or negatively with others it will cause a
34% increase in your negative feelings. You might feel ashamed after your act and will create
regret that hits your self-confidence badly. Doctors have found that the only negative and
positive word can create a negative or positive reaction to your mind. Research also shows
that only thinking or focusing on the positive words may cause the physical changes in the
brain and that changes positively affecting the way you see yourself and the world. When you
stop the negative thinking and try to think positively then soon you develop the habit of
positive thinking. So always try to think, speak, and act positively as much as you can.
Words - The most powerful drug used by mankind.
— Rudyard Kipling

Step 13: Turn Up the Volume!

Have you ever notice that the musi9c quickly change your mood. Research shows that good
music has a good impact on your feelings and mood. It is not a bad thing to listen to the sad
and heartbreak music, these type of music helps you to flush out the bad memories and grief.
It will help you to overcome the bad feelings and memories. But try to listen to the uplifting
songs that create an act of new courage in you and you will develop the feeling of facing a
bad time. Uplifting songs also enhance your self-confidence. Music is considered a therapy to
heal your soul. Music therapy is a widely recognize and accepted form of therapy. Research
shows that music stimulates many parts of your body and emotions and it can actually lower
your blood pressure and heart rate.

How to Rekindle Your Marriage?

You are able to work through the biggest challenges of your relationship if you align and
address the problems that are bringing you down.
The relationship required the attention of both partners. The main thing that is very important
is the discussion of the issues. When you are addressing the issues it will involve both of
you. You willingly admit that there are many things that are going wrong in your marriage.
You both will think about the things that made you people on the verge of divorce. Then you
both find ways to save your broken marriage.
On the other hand, many of the couples take the route of giving up the relation rather than try
to save it but that should not be in your case.
If you are thinking about how to save your broken marriage, you have to look back and find
out what is wrong in between you and your partner and then try out the following ways to
rekindle your marriage.
At least, it is well worth to try the following steps and see how these are working for you, and
ultimately it will help you to save your failing marriage.

1. Find out what made you fall in love:

It is really hurting when you think how madly you both loved each other and how much your
relationship has damaged now. If you really love your partner and you want to bring your
relationship back you have to get back toward the basics and you have to develop the mindset
that the thing which is primarily important is the love between you people. You both need to
remember that you were first in love.
Think about all the events that made you fall in love and if possible write down these points.
Consider the reason why you were used to adoring your partner and what made you want to
be with him.
However you may be lost sight of this, thinking about the past when you both were fall in
love, think about the good times, it will help you to heal and lift your spirit and you may able
to save your broken marriage.
By writing the traits of your partner you will realize that your partner and all the good habits
of him are still there but the only thing that is wrong in time.
Think positive and try to forget the bad memories. Try to forgive your partner for every
mistake he had done in the past. Take a start and then you will see everything will start
changing.

2. Start listening to your partner:

Try to have your past long conversations again, start communicating with one another. Listen
to what your partner tries to speak. Try to give him a comfort zone to discuss all his
insecurities with you.
Make it a point to listen to one another again and it will help you to uncover the problems and
also help you to find out what was once great about your marriage.
Listening is power. Listen to your partner carefully. Give him attention. Try to understand his
problems. Support him in every situation. Your support and attention create endless love and
respect in his heart for you.
 3. Reflect on what has made your marriage feel broken
Why your marriage had a fall? What goes wrong in your marriage? What are the things that
make both of you on the verge of divorce? Who cheats others in the relationship?
When you try to identify the cause of your broken marriage it will give you great benefit.
You will ultimately find on the point where things start to get wrong
There are a few reasons behind every broken marriage:
Communication gap
The communication gap is the main reason for every problem in relationships. It can prove
lethal for marriages. When the couples stop sharing things with one another and they restrict
themselves to express, unfortunately, they weaken their bonding and chord of connection.
And if the connection becomes weak the relationship also loses its strength.
This is the first sign of failing marriage. If you think that your marriage is on risk or you think
that your bonding with your partner is not as much strength as it used to so start
communicating. Strengthen your connection and communication with your partner. Give him
time and show interest in listening to his daily routine. Soon your partner develops the habit
of talking to you on every matter and then if something starts going wrong you both settle it
down the matter by discussing it with one another. Always remember that the death of
communication leads to the death of a relation.
Infidelity
Cheating in the relationship is the most heartbreaking thing. But the real thing is to deal with
cheating. If you find your partner dishonest you have to give time to your relationship. Never
do too much fight to irritate your partner. Try to save your relation by strengthening your
bond with your partner.
Lack of care and affection
With the passage of time, all the affection and passion fades in the relationships. Both of the
partners stop showing love, affection, and care toward each other. When the warmth and
sweetness of the relationship go away there is nothing left in the marriage =. This is the major
cause of the failure of the marriage. So always try to show affection to your partner. Show
him how much he is important for you. Care for him every time. Your care and affection
bring very positive changes in the relationship.
Crisis
Crisis situations either strengthen your marriage or it can break it. in the difficult times how
couples react with one another shows how good or bad their relationship is going to be. If
your partner is not supporting you in your bad time it shows that soon your marriage will end.
Life is a mixture of good and bad time but how well you behave in a bad time is matters a lot.
Your partner will never forget how much you support him.
Problems in a marriage is not a big thing. But the main thing is how beautifully you tackle the
problems. Even if your marriage is going through any of the above problems, it is not
impossible to save your marriage. Think about the time when things shift from good to bad
and then try to find out solutions to the problems together. Your partnership is vital.

4. Don’t let any distractions get in the way of your relationship

Surely you may have your careers and kids and there are lots of other matters in life, but
don’t let any of the matter disturb your marriage, don’t let those matters stand between you
and your partner. Life may get busy but you should be together in all the bad and good times.
Try to save your time for your partner. Go for a date or a candlelight dinner, plan a movie
together, and always remember that you still have a unified source no matter how busy life is.
Keep on dating your partner it is the best way to spend time together and save your marriage.

5. Find a way to connect again

Make a plan that will bring you closer. Plan a trip for just you two. Do night chatting every
day, maybe it is 5 minutes longer or 1 hour but do night chatting. Discuss all of your daily
routines. Make your partner your priority. Consider all the other things as secondary. When
you will find the way back for one another and when you are truly connected and
communicated well you will surely save your marriage.

I hope all of this suggestion and tips help you to save the most beautiful relationship in this
world. Your partner is the everlasting happiness for you. Never let your marriage break.
Value your partner that GOD has chosen for you and then you will enjoy your life happily
ever after that you always dreamed of!