five years after his directorial debut based on stephen king's writings called the

shawshank redemption ( 9/10 ) , writer/director frank darabont returns to the big

screen with another prison film based on the famous scribblings of stephen king .
unlike the latter film , this one is a big , long , laborious bore .
plot : a seven-foot death row inmate is discovered to have secret healing powers .
critique : this film is slow , drawn-out , boring , uninteresting , unexciting ,
predictable and topped with a couple of one-dimensional " evil " characters .
its only positive attribute lies in its actors who all do credible jobs and its
message of hope and belief in miracles .
the real miracle of my night was the fact that i did not fall asleep during this
straightforward , unimpressive film about a guy with special powers who we never
truly understand or care about .
of course , much like all other death row cell blocks , this one is filled with
decent inmates who all happen to be " misunderstood " , except for one cookie-
cutter crazy guy who is evil personified .
and let's not forget all the guards on death row , who also happen to be angels
from the heaven above , except for one cookie-cutter crazy guard who is also evil
personified ( and is there any reason why there are about six guards when there
appears to be no more than three inmates ? ? ? ) .
am i supposed to identify with anyone in this film ?
or even more importantly , am i supposed to give a rat's ass about anyone in this
film ?
well , if i was , i sure missed that boat , because the only thing that i ended up
caring about during this entire picture was the obscene amount of fat that tom
hanks has been able to burrow under his loose chin .
furthermore , there is absolutely no reason in the world why director frank
darabont needed to take three hours and ten minutes out of anyone's life to present
this story .
in fact , the story is empty within itself .
i truly did not get anything out of the film other than the fact that there is a
guy on death row who has special powers to heal , and we are left wondering if he
should still be executed or not .
wow .
how interesting .
the plot's utter predictability is also at fault here with one guess as to whom is
to get healed by the gentle monster in this film ( we are told that one certain
lady has a tumor early on in the movie ) .
whip out those thinking caps , kids !
hmmm , and i wonder what will happen to those two cookie-cutter " evil " guys who
have nothing in their system but hate and negativity .
hmmmm , now think hard here , boys and girls .
what a crock !
i am guessing that this film was supposed to be some three-hour exercise in
spirituality , but unfortunately for me , it was neither spiritual or the least bit
engaging .
in fact , it was one big bore .
i didn't see the point of the movie , i didn't see the point of the story and i
certainly didn't see the point in tom hanks' big double-chin .
all in all , a bad movie starring some great actors doing solid work , especially
michael clarke duncan as the man of the hour , john coffey .
give that man an award or something !