Case study 1

Jane was 84 years old when she passed away. For the past 7
years,she had been living in small sheltered housing project, along
with Sue, a friend of hers for 40 years. The sheltered housing project
is sta ed by carers who work in shi s. The majority of the carers
have worked on the project for over 8 years. Jane and Sue made
friends with the other eight residents. The residents enjoyed living at
the sheltered housing as they said they couldn’t have coped staying
alone at home due to various ailments associated with old age.
Residents o en cha ed to each other, got together for bingo, and
engaged in outdoor ac vi es such as gardening where they took care
of the communal garden. When the weather was good, they liked
taking walks in the park so that they stay t. However, three months
ago, Jane was diagnosed with breast cancer. She refused any medical
treatment and the medical professionals respected her wishes. She
died in her sleep a month later.

Case Study 2
Sandra was very close to her husband. They had been childhood sweethearts and had been
best friends all of their lives. When her husband, Mike, died at 45 of a sudden and
unexpected heart attack, Sandra felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She cried
and screamed when the doctor told her that they had done everything possible, but he had
not survived. How could she go on with her life? Sandra sat in her home in stunned silence.
She had two children to take care of, all by herself now. Priscilla and Shirley were only
toddlers and did not really understand what was happening or why their father was not
home. They happily watched the television while their Page 9 of 12 mother sat staring into
space. Sandra and Mike's families were trying to help her as much as they could, but at the
end of the day, she was left to herself in her now empty bed. Sandra would wake in the
middle of the night, reaching for her beloved husband, only to nd his side of the bed empty.
She cried herself to sleep every night for a week. Sandra had to take care of her husband's
estate and all of the legal issues that accompanied the death of a spouse. Unfortunately, she
could not just crawl into a hole and forget about life for a while. She had her children to take
care of and raise as a single mother now. Sandra’s sister suggested was a social worker and
suggested she might bene t from seeing a bereavement counsellor. Sandra was quick to
take up the suggestion as she felt that her friends were sick of hearing about her despair,
and yet she really wasn’t ready to stop despairing. She needed to talk about Sandra, she
needed to talk about her grief, she needed to cry. Sandra met her grief counsellor, Rebecca,
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 for the rst time about three weeks after Sandra’s death and she continued to see her, each
week, for about 2 months. During this time, Sandra’s sleeping patterns calmed down, and
she gradually became used to sleeping in her bed alone. While it took her a long time to feel
normal in a social situation, she found she was able to nd joy in her children and even go
out with friends for dinner now and again. Sandra continued to touch base with Rebecca on
an intermittent basis for about 18 months. After about a year, and with Rebecca’s
encouragement, Sandra was nally able to clear Mike's clothes from their home. This was
symbolically momentous for Sandra as it helped to bring her a sense of closure. Sandra
gave away many of Mike’s things to his brothers or to charities for people who might need
them more than she did now. Sandra found that eventually she could look back on her life
with Mike with happiness and wistfulness at what she had lost and what might have been.
Sandra found that seeing a grief counsellor within a few weeks after losing Mike really
assisted her to overcome the initial shock, and adjust herself to a new life without him.
Sandra found grief counselling valuable because it gave her an opportunity to reveal her
emotions and talk about her loss in an environment separate to her family and friends. In the
counselling room, Sandra felt able to talk freely about her fears of a life without Mike – fears
for her children, fears about nancial insecurity, fears about loneliness. Rebecca listened
with empathy and without judgment. She helped Sandra to make sense of her emotions and
gave her practical advice, as well as emotional support, to help her nd a way

BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS

There are many specialist organisa ons assis ng in grief:

Brake - is a road safety charity that runs a helpline for anyone bereaved as a
result of a road crash. They also run free courses to train people to educate
young drivers about the consequences of dangerous driving behaviours.

Child Bereavement UK - provides support to families and professionals when a

child dies or when a child is bereaved of someone important in their lives.
Services o ered include a Support and Informa on Line, Buckinghamshire-
based Family Bereavement Support Service, interac ve website with a Families
and Professionals Forum, resources and Professionals Training Programme.

Child Death Helpline - A telephone helpline for anyone a ected by the death of
a child, from pre-birth to the death of an adult child, however long ago, and
whatever the circumstances. It is sta ed by experienced and trained bereaved
parent volunteers
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 The Compassionate Friends - is an organisa on of bereaved parents and their

familiesO ering understanding, support and encouragement to others a er
the death of a child or children. They also o er support, advice and informa on
to other rela ves, friends and professionals who are helping the family.

Cruse Bereavement Care - is the largest bereavement support organisa on for

both adults and children in the UK. Provides one-to-one support to anyone
who has su ered Page 3 of 12 bereavement, together with a telephone
helpline. Their website gives further informa on and contact details for local
branches.

CRY - Cardiac Risk in the Young supports those bereaved through young sudden
cardiac death (also known as SADS, SDS); and has a Surgery Supporters
Network for young people (aged 14-35) diagnosed with a cardiac condi on.
CRY promotes heart screening and ECG tes ng programmes, and funds the CRY
Centre for Sports Cardiology and the CRY Centre for Cardiac Pathology.

DrugFam - supports families a ected by a loved one’s use of drugs or alcohol,

working with individual family members and carers rather than the user. They
o er telephone support, befriending, counselling, local support groups in
Buckinghamshire and bereavement support.

Na onal Associa on of Widows - Run by the widowed for the widowed – men
and women. O ers support, friendship and understanding to men and women
who have lost their partners through bereavement. Help is given by people
who know how you feel – other widows and widowers. Paul’s

Fund and Paul’s Place - Grants to young adults aged approximately 18 to 30

who are facing bereavement, diagnosis of a life threatening or terminal illness,
or have a signi cant long term caring role for a family member. Covers
accommoda on costs of holiday break at Paul’s Place, a B&B with self-catering
facility.

SADS UK - Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome is a na onal cardiac charity

providing support to families and individuals a ected by a sudden unexpected
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 death. Quali ed counsellors and support contacts o er assistance a er the
death of a child or young spouse. Retreats for the bereaved. Also supports
those diagnosed with cardiac condi ons and donates cardiac equipment to
medical establishments.

Samaritans - provide con den al non-judgemental emo onal support 24

hours a day to people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair,
including those which could lead to suicide. SAMM - Support a er Murder and
Manslaughter support those who have been bereaved as a result of murder or
manslaughter, through a telephone helpline, informa on and other ac vi es,
including local groups.

Sands - S ll and Neonatal Death Charity o er support when your baby dies
during pregnancy or a er birth.Page 4 of 12 Survivors of Bereavement by
Suicide - provide help and support to those bereaved by the suicide of a
rela ve or close friend. They provide informa on, a helpline and other
ac vi es, including local groups and events throughout the UK.

The Lullaby Trust – Funding research, suppor ng families whose babies have
died suddenly and unexpectedly and giving ‘safe sleep’ advice. Safer Sleep for
babies – support for families.

WAY - (Widowed and Young) Founda on provide support, advice and

friendship to those who have been bereaved of a partner under the age of 50.
Winston’s Wish- support bereaved children and young people up to the age of
18 through a whole range of ac vi es, including a helpline, group work,
residen al events and resources
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