Lockie Leonard: Human Torpedo

This resource assists teachers to target specific writing areas, linked to the progressions,
to help students improve their writing. The resource is designed for teachers to select the
appropriate activity for their class. For example, in the post reading activities, the teacher
would choose either the comprehension or the 3 Level Reading Guides (Here, Hidden,
Head). In the same way, select the relevant language focus task the class.

Resource outline
The following table outlines the activities in the resource with a brief description and
purpose for the activity.

Activity Description

Sentence models Library of sentence models from the stimulus

Pre reading activity A pre reading writing activity where students
Story impressions predict the story based on a word list.

Post reading activities

3 level reading guides to aid the development of
3 level reading guide
inferential thinking
Comprehension questions
Language focus activities
Participles Explicit, modelled and guided teaching slide decks
Appositives available to help teach each concept.
Adjectival A range of language activities for each focus area
to help students develop better writing.
Subordinating
conjunctions/clauses/Adverbial clause Choose the relevant activities for your class

A quick writing activity related to the stimulus.

Writing activity Adapt the simple rubric to include the relevant
language focus for your class.
A Google form focusing on the use of
subordinating conjunctions/clauses and the -ING
Quiz phrase. The form is mapped to outcome EN3-6B.
Links to Literacy Progression identifiers
and Syllabus Outcomes
The table below makes explicit the links between the Literacy Progressions and the
sentence models within the resource.

Progression identifiers and Syllabus Outcomes Links to sentence models

GrA6

Sentence level

 selects simple, compound and complex sentences to

express and connect ideas, occasionally manipulating the
structure for emphasis, clarity or effect Complex sentences –
 uses at least one subordinate clause in a complex subordinating conjunctions
sentence and clauses
 Uses subordinating conjunctions ('even though' in 'Even
though a storm was predicted, the search and rescue
mission still went ahead.)

Non-finite clauses
GrA7
Participles are non-finite
Sentence level
clauses. They can also be an
 crafts both compact and lengthy sentences with challenging
embedded or interrupting
structures, such as embedded/relative clauses, non-finite clause.
clauses, interrupting clauses, nominalisations, passive voice
Relative clauses
 makes more sophisticated connections between ideas by
Also known as adjectival
creating complex sentence
clauses – several models are
shown from this text

Creating Texts 8-10 Generic Indicators

Resource contains models
CrT8
for a variety of sentence
 uses a greater range of complex sentences (see Grammar) structures and beginnings.
 uses a variety of sentence structures and sentence

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 Progression identifiers and Syllabus Outcomes Links to sentence models

beginnings

Syllabus Outcomes

Variety of clause

En4-3B – uses and describes language forms, features and structures – the appositive,

structures of texts appropriate to a range of purposes, audiences the absolute

and contexts

Sentence patterns – all

 analyse and examine how effective authors control and use sentence models. The use of

a variety of clause structures, including clauses embedded parallel structures within

within the structure of a noun group/phrase or clause sentences assist in

 interpret and analyse language choices, including sentence developing this increasing
patterns, dialogue, imagery and other language features, in sophistication.
short stories, literary essays and plays

English Textual Concepts

The following sentences are examples of structures from the story that could be used to
teach English Textual Concepts of code and convention and style. The English Textual
Concepts have been recognised in the Curriculum Review (2020) that they:

foreground what is at the heart of subject English’ and ‘make explicit what is important to
teach and learn’. They have been designed to assist teachers to develop students’
understandings of ‘the conceptual basis of the subject’, to chart the development of
students’ understandings of important textual concepts and processes, and to differentiate
their teaching to address students’ varying levels of attainment.
Curriculum Review, page 72

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 Sentence models
Participle (GrA7 – non-finite clause/CrT8)
 Lockie’s little brother looked at him, pegging off his nose with his fingers.

 He played his Van Halen tapes and stood in front of the mirror with his tennis
racquet, giving it vibrato and thrash chords and feedback to forget his troubles.

 “You’re lucky you only got a disgusting one’” said Segeant Leonard coming in,
buttoning his uniform.

 Lockie rolled his eyes, trying to look cool about it, but inside he wished he could
borrow a nappy from Blob.

 Lockie and Phillip and Mrs Leonard walked up the hill towards school, taking turns
to push Blob in the stroller.

 Lockie paddled out, shivering.

 He took the drop loose-kneed and casual, taking out a wide, leaning, bottom turn
before hammering back up at the lip.

 The wave walled up and the other kid streaked away out in front, hooting and
cutting up Lockie’s wave. Lockie dropped into a crouch, held an edge and came
powering down the line, getting speed from each hit at the wave’s lip.

Absolutes (GrA7 – non-finite clause/CrT8)

 He felt a rush of panic, his guts twisting.

Appositives (CrT6 – GrA6)

 He shared it with Phillip, his brother, who was ten and always wet the bed, and
some people would blame the bed wetting for the terrible pong, but the truth is, it
was always there.

 He dreamt be was back in the city, in Perth, where everything seemed bigger and
better and warmer and full of friends and good memories.

 Lockie Leonard has something to hope for – his own bedroom

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Subordinating conjunctions or clauses (Adverbial
phrases or clauses) (GrA5/6 – CrT7/8)
 When he eventually got up, he helped Phillip get out of his piddly PJs and went for
breakfast.

 As well as wetting the bed, Phillip snored and smacked his lips like he was at a
barbeque.

 They got on with their breakfast as the pale grey sunlight bent in through the
window.

 As he swung off the top again, he saw the big, hairy kid dropping in from the
shoulder.

 When you’re twelve and three quarters and a new kid, everyone seems a bit on the
mega side.

Adjectivals (GrA7 – Relative clauses)

 He shared it with Phillip, his brother, who was ten and always wet the bed, and
some people would blame the bed wetting for the terrible pong, but the truth is, it
was always there.

 He dreamt be was back in the city, in Perth, where everything seemed bigger and
better and warmer and full of friends and good memories.

 “It’s longer than a book,” said Phillip who was lucky enough to be just Phillip
Leonard.

Great action Verbs

 Lockie cooked inside.

 He really hammered that old Slazenger like it was connected to a million watts of
distortion.

 Mrs Leonard put the Weetbix packet in front of the boys and hoisted the baby on
her hip.

 Lockie weaved into the beach and climbed up onto the sand the moment the other
kid’s board drifted in alone.

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  The sky was grey but the rain held off while they trudged.

 They got on with their breakfast as the pale grey sunlight bent in through the
window. Frogs garped away in the swamp outside.

Parallel structures
 Just walking down the corridors, just signing his own stupid name for the little old

registrar, Lockie was truly packing it.

 Lockie’s little brother looked at him, pegging off his nose with his fingers. His baby

sister squirmed on the front seat. His dad left the motor running. His mum just

started bawling.

 He didn’t have a beer gut, he didn’t beat people up, and he even went to church.

Delayed adjectives
 He was a small kid, soft looking and sensitive.

Compound
 The baby was called Barbara, but Lockie called her blob.

https://www.amazon.com.au/Lockie-Leonard-Human-Torpedo-Winton-
ebook/dp/B00CWQOWPE

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Pre reading
Story Impressions
Write a paragraph using these words to predict what the chapter will be about. The words
are listed as they occur in the story

Town ___________________________________________________

Raining ___________________________________________________

Awful ___________________________________________________

house ___________________________________________________

Crummy ___________________________________________________

Swampy grounds ___________________________________________________

Reeds and factories ___________________________________________________

High school ___________________________________________________

First time ___________________________________________________

A single soul ___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

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 Resources:
The following research papers outline the effectiveness of this strategy (and others) on
reading comprehension. The third link provides examples of how to implement this
strategy

Story Impressions: A Prereading Writing Activity

https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED269743

Teaching Secondary Students to Write Effectively

https://ies.ed.gov/ncee/wwc/Docs/PracticeGuide/wwc_secondary_writing_110116.pdf

https://literacyprofessionaldevelopment.weebly.com/story-impressions.html

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Post reading
Comprehension questions
What is the family’s first impression of their new home?

1. What is implied about his dad leaving the motor running?

2. How does Lockie’s mum feel about the place?

3. How does Lockie describe the smell in his room?

4. What is worrying Lockie about going to High School?

5. What does this imply?

Phillip laughed. Lockie cooked inside.

6. What can we infer about how Lockie is feeling from this passage:

 Lockie rolled his eyes, trying to look cool about it, but inside he wished he could
borrow a nappy from Blob.

7. Read the passage below:

 The sky was grey but the rain held off while they trudged.

What is implied about the journey experienced by Phillip. Lockie and his mum?

8. What words imply that Lockie is a great surfer?

9. Why does Lockie only catch one wave?

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 3 level reading guide
Read the text and then look at the following statements. Respond to the statements in
each section. Tick if you agree, cross if you disagree. Discuss your responses with others.
Be prepared to share your responses.

Level 1 Literal Statements

Does the text say this? What words support your answer?

1. ☐ The first impression of the place was terrible

2. ☐ Lockie’s room stinks because of Phillip’s bed wetting

3. ☐ Lockie is a slack surfer, but confident.

Level 2 Interpretive Statements

Does the text give you this idea? What words and phrases support your answer?

4. ☐ Lockie is angry when his sister wets him.

5. ☐ The family do not enjoy walking to enrol at school.

6. ☐ Lockie’s asks his Dad to play a song.

Level 3 Applied Statements

Do you agree with this? Why? Be prepared to share your reasons.

7. ☐ Being new in a town has similar challenges to someone who knows everyone.

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Language focus: Participles
Each of these activities provides an authentic opportunity for students to focus on the craft
of writing they have been learning. The variation in activities are provided as stimulus for
you to think about when writing your own activities. Choose the appropriate task to add to
a post reading activity, or use as a 'Do Now' instructional routine.

The following activities are:

1. Locate the structure in the text

2. Underline the structure (in a worksheet)

3. Complete the sentence with an -ing phrase and then compare with the author

4. Rearrange/Unscramble the sentence so that it still makes sense.

5. Imitate

If students do not know these concepts, use the slide deck below to explicitly teach the
concept with modelled, guided, independent activities.

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 Activities
1. Find 3 examples of the participle phrase in chapter 1. There are at least 8!

2. Underline the participle phrase in the following sentences

a. Lockie’s little brother looked at him, pegging off his nose with his fingers.

b. He played his Van Halen tapes and stood in front of the mirror with his tennis

racquet, giving it vibrato and thrash chords and feedback to forget his troubles.

c. “You’re lucky you only got a disgusting one’” said Segeant Leonard coming in,

buttoning his uniform.

Discus how the participle phrase enhances the visual image of the sentence.

3. Complete the sentence with a participle phrase. When completed, share with
others in your class

a. Lockie paddled out, __________________________.

b. He took the drop loose-kneed and casual, _________________________ before

hammering back up at the lip.

c. The wave walled up and the other kid streaked away out in front,

__________________________________. Lockie dropped into a crouch, held an

edge and came powering down the line, __________________________________

___________________________

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4. Rearrange the following sentences and discuss the impact of the changes.

a. Lockie’s little brother looked at him, pegging off his nose with his fingers.

b. Lockie rolled his eyes, trying to look cool about it, but inside he wished he could

borrow a nappy from Blob.

5. Imitate the model sentence and then share with the class

Models:

a. Lockie’s little brother looked at him, pegging off his nose with his fingers.

b. He played his Van Halen tapes and stood in front of the mirror with his tennis
racquet, giving it vibrato and thrash chords and feedback to forget his troubles.

c. “You’re lucky you only got a disgusting one’” said Segeant Leonard coming in,
buttoning his uniform.

d. Lockie rolled his eyes, trying to look cool about it, but inside he wished he could
borrow a nappy from Blob.

e. Lockie and Phillip and Mrs Leonard walked up the hill towards school, taking turns
to push Blob in the stroller.

f. Lockie paddled out, shivering.

g. The wave walled up and the other kid streaked away out in front, hooting and
cutting up Lockie’s wave. Lockie dropped into a crouch, held an edge and came
powering down the line, getting speed from each hit at the wave’s lip.

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 Language focus: Appositives
These exercises are based on chapter 1 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets,
however they can be applied to any text.

Each of these activities provides an authentic opportunity for students to focus on the craft
of writing they have been learning. The variation in activities are provided as stimulus for
you to think about when writing your own activities. These are provided to demonstrate
how to explicitly and regular address these concepts with authentic texts.

The following activities are:

1. Match the appositive
2. Expand the sentence
3. Combine sentences
4. Locate in the text/Underline
5. Unscramble
6. Imitate

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Activities
1. Locate 2 examples of the appositive phrase/Underline the appositive

Locate 2 examples of the appositive phrase in the chapter. There are at least three.

Or

Underline the appositive phrases in the following sentences from chapter 1

 He shared it with Phillip, his brother, who was ten and always wet the bed, and
some people would blame the bed wetting for the terrible pong, but the truth is, it
was always there.

 He dreamt be was back in the city, in Perth, where everything seemed bigger and
better and warmer and full of friends and good memories.

 Lockie Leonard has something to hope for – his own bedroom

2. Imitate the model sentence and share with the class

Model:

 He dreamt be was back in the city, in Perth, where everything seemed bigger and
better and warmer and full of friends and good memories.

 Lockie Leonard has something to hope for – his own bedroom

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 Language focus: Adjectivals

An adjectival clause works like a multiword adjective. It describes whatever is to the left of

it, usually a noun. Adjective clauses are usually introduced by relative pronouns such as

who, whose, whom, which, that, and where.

The following simple activities demonstrate how to embed this into your daily teaching.

The activities are:

1. Locate
2. Underline
3. Rearrange/Unscramble
4. Imitate

Adjectivals

 He shared it with Phillip, his brother, who was ten and always wet the bed, and
some people would blame the bed wetting for the terrible pong, but the truth is, it
was always there.

 He dreamt be was back in the city, in Perth, where everything seemed bigger and
better and warmer and full of friends and good memories.

 “It’s longer than a book,” said Phillip who was lucky enough to be just Phillip
Leonard.

16 Lockie Leonard: Human Torpedo

Activities
1. Locate the structure

Find ONE example of the adjectival clause in chapter 1. There are at least 3!

2. Underline the adjectival clauses

a. He shared it with Phillip, his brother, who was ten and always wet the bed, and
some people would blame the bed wetting for the terrible pong, but the truth is, it
was always there.

b. He dreamt be was back in the city, in Perth, where everything seemed bigger and
better and warmer and full of friends and good memories.

c. “It’s longer than a book,” said Phillip who was lucky enough to be just Phillip
Leonard.

Discuss how the adjectival clauses enhance the visual image of the sentence.

3. Imitate

Imitate the model sentence. When finished, share your imitation with the class

Model:

He dreamt be was back in the city, in Perth, where everything seemed bigger and better
and warmer and full of friends and good memories.

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 Language focus: Subordinating
conjunctions
The following are simple activities that can be used to regularly embed a focus on
language in the classroom. The activities are:

1. Unscramble
2. Rearrange
3. Locate in the text
4. Imitate

The general 'rule' is that if a sentence begins with a subordinating conjunction, it will likely
have a comma to offset it from the main sentence. If the subordinating conjunction occurs
in the middle of the sentence, generally it does not have a comma.

We are learning the 'rules' so later we can break them like an artist does!

Subordinating conjunctions/ clauses

 When he eventually got up, he helped Phillip get out of his piddly PJs and went for
breakfast.

 As well as wetting the bed, Phillip snored and smacked his lips like he was at a
barbeque.

 They got on with their breakfast as the pale grey sunlight bent in through the
window.

 As he swung off the top again, he saw the big, hairy kid dropping in from the
shoulder.

18 Lockie Leonard: Human Torpedo

Activities
Subordinating conjunctions/ clauses

1. Unscramble the following sentence and insert appropriate punctuation where

necessary. There may be more than one way to organise this sentence.

Example 1

 Phillip snored and smacked his lips

 as well as wetting the bed

 like he was at a barbeque

2. Find 2 examples of subordinate clauses in the story. There are at least 4

3. Rearrange the following sentences. Which sentences can be rearranged without

impacting on the meaning?

 When he eventually got up, he helped Phillip get out of his piddly PJs and went for
breakfast.

 As well as wetting the bed, Phillip snored and smacked his lips like he was at a
barbeque.

 They got on with their breakfast as the pale grey sunlight bent in through the
window.

 As he swung off the top again, he saw the big, hairy kid dropping in from the
shoulder.

4. Imitate one of the model sentences with a sentence of your own. When finished,
share your imitation with the class.

Models:

 As he swung off the top again, he saw the big, hairy kid dropping in from the
shoulder.

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 Let’s write
Write about a character’s first day in a new school/town

Success Criteria

Use this rubric to self-assess your piece of writing. I will check and validate your
assessment.

Success Criteria Example from my writing Points

Eg Participle Phrase (10 points)

Insert aspect (10 points)

Insert aspect (10 points)

Insert aspect (10 points)

Total

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Quiz
Copy and adapt this quiz for your class

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rhiwMOPhRuaBolWNzBu06D0EEckB68hxVKqrV0wVsy
w/copy?

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