Website: http://oetonline.net.

au

06/10/2019
Dr Philip Wright
Surgical Registrar
Brisbane General Hospital
765 Brunswick St. Valley
4444,QLD

Re: Ms.Sandra Marcus , DOB:15/01/1983

Dear Dr.Wright,

I am writing to request urgent assessment and possible surgical intervention for Ms.Marcus, a
36-year-old single woman who I suspect has a thyroid malignancy. Commented [OET1]: Well constructed introduction J

Today, she attended the surgery concerned about with the recent changes of a previously Commented [OET2]: Incorrect preposition
investigated thyroid lump. The lump has increased in size, was not moving with swallowing as Commented [OET3]: Missing verb
before and was associated with hoarseness of voice. Examination revealed a firm, sizable lump
with palpable right lymph nodes.

Symptoms first appeared 3 months ago when she presented with a clinical picture consistent Commented [OET4]: Picture is a countable noun so an article is
required
with a thyroid nodule. Systemic examination was unremarkable. However, the local
examination of the neck showed a non-tender lump which sized was 2 x 2 cm in size, moving Commented [OET5]: As above lump is countable, one lump,
multiple lumps
with deglutition and without lymphadenopathy. Subsequently, thyroid function tests and neck
Commented [OET6]: Incorrect word order, replace with:
ultrasound were requested. Two weeks later, the diagnosis of multinodular goiter was
which was 2 x 2 cm size
confirmed by the neck ultrasound. I advised Ms.Marcus to seek a surgical endocrine
consultation, but she was reluctant to decide. In addition, she missed her next scheduled Commented [OET7]: not required
appointment.

Please note, the mother of Ms. Marcus died of colon cancer at the age of 72. Commented [OET8]: Awkward expression, replace with:
Ms. Marcus’s mother

I would appreciate if you could provide the appropriate management. Please do not hesitate to Commented [OET9]: This word is an uncountable noun so no
article is required.
contact me in case of any queries.

Yours Sincerely,
GP

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written permission from OET Online.
 Website: http://oetonline.net.au

OET Online: Writing Feedback

Criteria Needs work Satisfactory Strong

Purpose X

Content X

Conciseness X
& Clarity
Genre & X
Style
Organisation X
& Layout
Language X

Overall
Comments A well written letter with a focus on the recent history first followed by
past history. Good choice of time references and linking words between
paragraphs which make the order of events clear including
• Today
• Symptoms first appeared 3 months ago
• Subsequently
• Two weeks later

It was strong in all areas and non-relevant history was omitted.

There were a few grammar and expression errors as noted though, so

careful review required.

Grade: B 350 (as the strengths outweigh the weaknesses)

This resource was developed by OET Online and is subject to copyright Ó and cannot be reproduced, reformatted or shared without prior
written permission from OET Online.