Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During Hookups Page 1 of 8

0
z Follow Us
z Facebook
z 0Twitter
z Pinterest
z Google Plus
z Stumbleupon
0
z FreeNewsletters
z Manage Subscription

Free0Newsletters

z Log In
z 0SignUp

Welcome,

z Newsletters
z My Everyday Health
z Profile
z Messages
z Log Out

Log in
Enter your Everyday Health log in:
E-Mail Address:

Password:

Forgot your password?

Log in

Not a member? Register now!

BACK TO

Search

z Symptom Checker
z Drug Lookup
z Calorie Counter

Topics

z Home
z Conditions

Common Conditions

{ ADD/ADHD
{ Ankylosing Spondylitis
{ Cancer
{ Cold and Flu
{ COPD
{ Crohn's Disease

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-... 11/22/2013
Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During Hookups Page 2 of 8

{ Depression
0 { Diabetes
{ Digestive Health
{ Headache and Migraine
0 { Heart Health
{ Hepatitis C
{ Low Testosterone
0 { Multiple Sclerosis
{ Pain
{ Psoriasis
0
{ Psoriatic Arthritis
{ Rheumatoid Arthritis
{ Senior Health
{ Sexual Health
0
{ Sleep
{ Ulcerative Colitis
{ All Conditions

ADHD and the Holidays: Tips to Help Make Your Holidays a Success

Related Tools

Symptom Checker
{
Take a Health Quiz
{
{ All Tools
z Drugs

Find & Review Drugs

{ Drugs A-Z
{ Vitamins & Supplements
{ All Drugs

Oral Medications for Type 2 Diabetes

Related Tools

Ask a Pharmacist
{
Symptom Checker
{
{ All Tools
z Healthy Living

Popular Topics

{ Alternative Health

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-... 11/22/2013
Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During Hookups Page 3 of 8

{ Better Sex
0 { Dental Health
{ Fitness
{ Skin, Hair and Nails
0 { Kid's Health
{ Men's Health
{ Senior Health
0 { Vision
{ Women's Health
{ All Healthy Living
0

Being a Perfectionist Can Make You Depressed

Related Tools

Calorie Counter
{
Take a Health Quiz
{
{ All Tools
z Food & Recipes

Popular Topics

{ What to Eat
{ Diet and Nutrition
{ Healthy Recipes
{ Vitamins and Supplements
{ All Food & Recipes

Thanksgiving Guide

Related Tools

Recipe Search
{
Calorie Counter
{
{ All Tools
z Advice & Support

Advice & Support

{ Expert Columns
{ Health Talks
{ Groups
{ All Advice & Support

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-... 11/22/2013
Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During Hookups Page 4 of 8

Jeff's Story: Overcoming MS Denial

0
Related Tools

Take a Health Quiz

{
0 Free! Newsletters
{
{ All Tools
z Calorie Counter
z Health Quizzes
z Symptom Checker
z Drug Lookup

Search

AN EVERYDAY HEALTH LEADER

Laura Berman, PhD

Dr. Laura Berman on Love & Sex
The latest in sexual health and relationship news

Posted in: sexual health

0 Comments
By Laura Berman, PhD

Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During

Hookups
By Laura Berman, PhD

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-... 11/22/2013
Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During Hookups Page 5 of 8

Published Nov 16, 2013

0
YOUR REACTION?
I Like It So So Inspiring Intriguing Important
0
Casual sex might not be ideal when it comes to female sexual pleasure.

0 sex and random hookups are a ubiquitous part of modern sex and dating. However, when it
Casual
comes to these fly-by-night affairs, people often wonder if women are getting the short end of the
stick. Not only are women more likely to branded with a scarlet letter (or at least misogynist insults
such0 as “slut” and “whore”), but they are also the ones who primarily have to deal with possible
consequences such as birth control failure and unintended pregnancies.

As if that wasn’t enough, now a new study from the Kinsey Institute finds that women often don’t
even0 reach orgasm during these casual encounters. The researchers found that women are two
times more likely to have an orgasm when they are in a relationship as opposed to a causal affair.
They are also much less likely to reach orgasm during a hookup when compared to men—80
percent of men report reaching gratification after a casual sex encounter, as opposed to only 42
percent of women.

Why casual sex can lead to one-sided pleasure

There are many reasons why women might not reach orgasm during casual affairs. First, the female
body can be very mysterious, even to its owners. That means that reaching an orgasm isn’t always
easy, especially when you are with a new partner who doesn’t even know your last name, let alone
your favorite position or your preferred method of kissing. All of this can mean that you will be less
likely to reach orgasm.

Additionally, when you are enjoying a random affair, the man involved might have less motivation to
help you reach orgasm. Unlike a committed, long-term partner who will likely want to fulfill you, a
casual sex partner might be more selfish and focused on his own needs. Perhaps he might not even
realize that you aren’t reaching gratification, especially if you seem to be enjoying yourself…and
especially if you are faking it!

It’s also important to note that great sex can rarely occur when people feel inhibited and out of place.
And first-time sex encounters (even with someone you know and love) can be quite awkward. When
it is with someone you barely know, it can put you even more on edge. You won’t be able to open up
and be vulnerable, let alone tell him what you want and need in the bedroom. All of this can add up
to a decreased likelihood of orgasm, at least on your part.

Is casual sex worth it?

However, just because women don’t always reach orgasm during causal sex doesn’t mean that they
aren’t having fun. In fact, many women don’t reach orgasm during sex with their regular partner each
and every time. The purpose of sex isn’t to have an orgasm (although they are wonderful), and many
people enjoy other aspects of sex just as much—such as the thrill of the chase, the powerful feeling
of being desired, the pleasure of being touched and touching in return, and the excitement and
spontaneity that first-time sex can bring. In other words, even though women don’t always reach the
big “O” during casual sex doesn’t mean that they aren’t having a good time, and it doesn’t mean that
they aren’t highly aroused and satisfied by their encounter.

That being said, casual sex (like all sex) does come with risks, even when you practice safer sex.
With a random hookup, you won’t be able to know your partner and truly have his background and
his sexual history, let alone be sure of the last time he got tested for STDs. And vice versa. For some
women, the risk of casual sex simply isn’t worth it, especially if the big “O” isn’t promised to them in
the end. However, many women can do and like having casual sex, orgasms or not, as long as they
practice good self-care and do so safely and responsibly…I say, enjoy!

Posted in: sexual health

0 Comments

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-... 11/22/2013
Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During Hookups Page 6 of 8

Post a Comment
0
Name ( required )

0 Email ( required; will not be published )

Website
0

Submit Comment

COMMENTS (0) See All 0 Comments or add your own!

Post a new comment

Login - Or - Guest

Post

0 Comments RSS | Subscribe

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-... 11/22/2013
Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During Hookups Page 7 of 8

Get the latest health updates

0
Sign up for the free Sexual Health newsletter!

Submit
Enter 0your email address
Invalid email address

Privacy
0 Policy

Thanks for signing up!

0
Sign up for more FREE Everyday Health newsletters.

Oops!
0
A system error was encountered. Please try again later.

Follow us on your favorite social network!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Laura Berman, PhD

Laura Berman, PhD, is a leading sex and relationship educator and therapist, popular TV and radio
host, New York Times best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry
at the...read more

And, be sure to follow Dr. Berman at

POPULAR TOPICS
birth control boys cancer casual sex cheating Chris Brown communication consent dating depression erectile dysfunction estrogen Facebook fatherhood

friends gender girls great sex happy relationships healthy sex hooking up infidelity love low testosterone marriage men menopause online

dating rape relationship relationships sex sex addiction sex education sex in the news sexting sexual
health sexual pleasure sleep STDs stress teens testosterone texting women

SEARCH ALL COLUMNS

What topic are you intere Go

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-... 11/22/2013
Why Women Don’t Reach Orgasm During Hookups Page 8 of 8

Copyright © 2013 Everyday Health Media, LLC

0
z About EverydayHealth.com
z About Everyday Health Media, LLC
z Careers
z Ad Policy
z Advertise With Us
z Feedback

adchoices

The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only, and is not to be used for
medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information. Use of this site is subject to our
terms of use and privacy policy.

FDAThis website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify.FDA

This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:verify here.

Advertising Notice
This Site and third parties who place advertisements on this Site may collect and use information
about your visits to this Site and other websites in order to provide advertisements about goods and
services of interest to you. If you would like to obtain more information about these advertising
practices and to make choices about online behavioral advertising, please click here.

Close

Ads not by this site

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-... 11/22/2013