Why does the Bible day God created the light and the darkness before he created the

sun and the moon which is how we measure days?

"I have given you EVERY plant ... and every tree ... for food." (yet many plants
are poisonous) Gen 1:29

"He rested."
Even God gets tired sometimes. Gen 2:2

The Bible says God created two magical trees, knowing in advance that Adam would
eat from the bad tree.

The Bible says God kills some animals and makes some skin coats for Adam and
Eve. 3:21 (this implies that God is a man with a physical body)

God says that they have become like one of us and he stops Adam from eating from
the tree of life so that he won't live forever.

 "And Cain knew his wife." That's nice, but where the hell did she come from? Gen
4:17

And to Seth ... was born a son." Where'd he find his wife? Gen 4:26

God decides to kill all living things because the human imagination is evil. Later
(8:21), after he kills everything, he promises never to do it again because the
human imagination is evil. Go figure. 6:5

God repents. 6:6-7

God tells Noah to make one small window (18 inches square) in the 450 foot ark for
ventilation.6:14-16

Noah sends a dove out to see if there was any dry land. But the dove returns
without finding any. Then, just seven days later, the dove goes out again and
returns with an olive leaf. But how could an olive tree survive the flood? And if
any seeds happened to survive, they certainly wouldn't germinate and grow leaves
within a seven day period. 8:8-11

Noah kills the "clean beasts" and burns their dead bodies for God. According
to 7:8 this would have caused the extinction of all "clean" animals since only two
of each were taken onto the ark. "And the Lord smelled a sweet savor."

"Now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do."
God worries that the people will succeed in building a tower high enough to reach
him (them?) in heaven, and that by so doing they will become omnipotent. 11:4-6

God, who is planning another mass murder, is worried that Abraham might try to stop
him. so he asks himself if he should hide his intentions from Abraham. 18:17

Lot refuses to give up his angels to the perverted mob, offering his two "virgin
daughters" instead. He tells the bunch of angel rapers to "do unto them [his
daughters] as is good in your eyes." This is the same man that is called "just" and
"righteous" in 2 Peter 2:7-8. Gen 19:8

Lot lied about his daughters being "virgins" in gen 19:8. But it was a "just and
righteous" lie, intended to make them more attractive to the sex-crazed mob. Gen
19:14

Lot's nameless wife looks back, and God turns her pillar of salt Gen 19:26
Lot and his daughters camp out in a cave for a while. The daughters get their "just
and righteous" father drunk, and have sexual intercourse with him, and each
conceives and bears a son (wouldn't you know it!). Just another wholesome family
values Bible story. 19:30-38 (why would lot drink so much if he's really just and
righteous? And how would his daughters have sex with him unless he was aroused
enough to get hard? So was it rape or a cover up?

Abraham makes his servant put his hand under his thigh while swearing to God.
Weird. Of course "putting his hand under his thigh" is just a polite euphemism for
"holding his testicles in his hand." Come to think of it, maybe it isn't so weird
at all -- coming as it does from a god that is completely obsessed with male
genitalia. (See Exodus 4:25, Leviticus 15:16-18, 32, and Deuteronomy 23:1) for just
a few examples.) I guess it's sort of like swearing on the bible. Gen 24:2-9

God begs Jacobs to let him go, but Jacob says, "Not unless you bless me." So God
blessed Jacob and Jacob let God go. Gen 32:2-

None of the Pharaoh's magicians or wise men could interpret his dreams, so they
called Joseph. Joseph said it was simple. God was going to send seven good years
followed by seven years of famine. And the famine would be world-wide and "very
grievous." Gen 41:8-32

There was a seven year, God-created famine over the entire earth. Gen 41:56

The absurdities of the bible are used to indoctrinate children

Elijah ascending in a whirlwind,

the formation of an army out of bones,

the talking ass,

the talking serpent,

the talking cloud,

the army which woke up one morning and found themselves all dead men
(2 Kings 19:35),

the retrograde motion of the sun (2 Kings 20:10-11),

the defeat of 600 Philistines by one man armed only with an ox-goad,

Moses turning the Nile into blood and inducing many plagues.

GE 9:12-16 God first creates the rainbow. (Note: Apparently the laws having to do
with refraction of light were null and void prior to this time.)

EX 4:24 The Lord sought to kill Moses (one of his own prophets.)

EX 12:30 The Lord kills all the first-born of Egypt and there is not a house where
there is not at least one dead. (This means that there was not a house in Egypt
that did not include at least one first-born---a most unusual situation.)
LE 14:49-53 The cure for leprosy involves incantations and the blood of a bird.
(You won't find this in any medical text book)

MT 4:8 There is a high mountain from which all the kingdoms of the world can be
seen. (Note: This implies a flat earth.)