Great Play 1

The Great Play

A One Act

by

Joseph Frost

Joseph Frost
4550 Normandy Dr
Jackson, MS 39206
(601) 366-1414
(c) 2000, Attic Scripts atticscripts@hotmail.com
 Great Play 2

(Two characters stand side by side,

center stage facing the audience.
Long, long pause.)

ELEVEN
What now?

TWELVE
Anything.

ELEVEN
Anything?
(long pause)
But...

TWELVE
Shh. You're ruining the opening image.

ELEVEN
Image?

TWELVE
It sets the tone for the play.

(Long pause)

ELEVEN
It's set. What do we do now?

TWELVE
We could wait.

ELEVEN
For?

TWELVE
The action. The inciting incident?

ELEVEN
Exciting incident?

TWELVE
One would hope.

(Long pause.)

ELEVEN
I hope it's soon.

TWELVE
We've certainly made good use of the pregnant pause.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
Indeed.
 Great Play 3

TWELVE
Many great plays have long pauses.

ELEVEN
Is this a great play?

TWELVE
We'll see.

ELEVEN
We'll see?

TWELVE
Yes.

ELEVEN
We're at the beginning of the play, a journey, and
all you can say, for the possibility of this NOT
being a gigantic waste is, "We'll see."

TWELVE
Sorry. No guarantees.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
I hope it is a great play. I'd like to be a part of
something really special.

TWELVE
True. That's all of our hope.

ELEVEN
All?

TWELVE
Well, the two of us. The characters.

ELEVEN
One. Two.

TWELVE
The audience.

ELEVEN
One. Two. Three...

TWELVE
(cuts off)
Let's stop there.

ELEVEN
Why?

TWELVE
Just in case.
 Great Play 4

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
Who else?

TWELVE
Well, the playwright.

ELEVEN
One.

TWELVE
I know he wants this to be a great play.

ELEVEN
What do you mean?

TWELVE
What do YOU mean?

ELEVEN
I don't understand what you meant.

TWELVE
I don't understand what YOU...

ELEVEN
Stop that. I mean what you meant about the
playwright wanting this to be a great play.

TWELVE
What about it?

ELEVEN
He WANTS...

TWELVE
Yes.

ELEVEN
Doesn't he know? Hasn't he finished his work?

TWELVE
(hesitant)
Yes...

ELEVEN
But?

TWELVE
But, within the time frame of the play, he's writing
the words as we speak.

ELEVEN
Now?
 Great Play 5

TWELVE
Yes.

ELEVEN
Even this line I'm saying?

TWELVE
Even this line I'M saying.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
Even this line...

TWELVE
(interrupting)
Yes.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
So, in a strange way, this play is re-written every
time it's performed.

TWELVE
Every time.

ELEVEN
What if I said something different?

TWELVE
Different?

ELEVEN
Unplanned, unscheduled.

TWELVE
Improvisationally, you mean.

ELEVEN
Yes.

TWELVE
Playwrights don't like that.

ELEVEN
It could give the play some spice. A little pick me
up. Make it fresh for each audience.

TWELVE
Yeah... but, no. It's a good idea, but for
consistency's sake...

ELEVEN
Consistency?
 Great Play 6

TWELVE
If someone were to come back, say another night of
this run, or to another production of this show,
they'd want to, or at least expect to hear the same
conversation that we're having right now.

ELEVEN
This conversation?

TWELVE
This one.

ELEVEN
What's so great about this conversation?

TWELVE
I don't know.
(pause)
For the sake of argument though, if this were a
great play, and someone were to come back, they'd
want to hear this.

ELEVEN
If it were great.

TWELVE
Exactly.

ELEVEN
(pause)
But...

TWELVE
Yes?

ELEVEN
Is this considered...

TWELVE
I don't know. We're all hoping.

(Long pause.)

ELEVEN
There's another one.

TWELVE
Rather liberal with the pregnant pauses.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
I don't like these pauses.

TWELVE
It's not about you liking them. They create a mood.
An atmosphere. Some suspense, or tension.
 Great Play 7

ELEVEN
I know I'm tense. Do we have any chairs?

(Pause.)

TWELVE
Lots of great plays have long pauses.

ELEVEN
Lots of great plays have chairs.

TWELVE
Our physical tension must be playing against the
tension in the pauses.

ELEVEN
Balderdash.
(pause)
I'm sitting.

TWELVE
We have no chairs.

ELEVEN
In the entire theatre? There were chairs in the
dressing room.

TWELVE
I'm sure backstage somewhere there are some chairs,
but we are on stage now.

ELEVEN
I can run back to the dressing room and get them.

TWELVE
And what would I do while you were gone?

ELEVEN
Monologue.

TWELVE
That might be nice.

ELEVEN
Can you do one? Do you have something prepared?

TWELVE
I'm not sure.
(thinks)
Well, since this play has been finished, in the
writing anyway, I'm sure I do.

ELEVEN
Great. How long is your monologue?
 Great Play 8

TWELVE
As long as it takes for you to get back.

ELEVEN
Great.
(starts out)
Do you want a drink of water or anything?

TWELVE
No, I'm ok.

ELEVEN
(pause)
Danish?

TWELVE
What?

ELEVEN
Danish. There were some good danishes back there
before the show.

TWELVE
I don't like to eat before a performance.

ELEVEN
We've already started.

TWELVE
(impatient)
Go.

ELEVEN
Fine.

TWELVE
Wait. I've changed my mind. I want some water.

ELEVEN
Fine.

TWELVE
Wait!

ELEVEN
What?

TWELVE
No water. If I have water, it'll make the whole
prop situation trickier. Better keep it simple.

ELEVEN
Then I shouldn't have any, either?

TWELVE
It'd be better not to. One of the nice things about
this play is its simplicity.
 Great Play 9

ELEVEN
One of the only nice things so far. Exiting stage
left.

(Eleven exits stage left.)

TWELVE
Well, I guess this would be my monologue. The one
that I perform for the listener. Or recite.
Perform or recite? It depends on one's definition
of character. Some say a simple recitation, without
inflection or elaboration is the only way to do it.
That that is the only way to be faithful to the
intentions of the author. Or playwright. But
didn't the playwright intend that actors say these
words? Yes. Otherwise this would be a book. Or a
poem. Then it should be performed. Some attitude
towards the information should be taken and enacted,
since any emotion on the stage is merely a shadow of
true emotion that can only be triggered in a natural
response to unexpected or often undesired
circumstances.
(beat)
This is a boring monologue. I need to either share
some expositional information that would be integral
for the plot to come, or establish the boundaries of
my character enabling the audience to make some kind
of assumptions about the story ahead, either as
foreshadowing or as a red herring to surprise and
delight. I guess I need to decide if this is
directly to the audience, participatory like, or an
internal Shakespearian soliloquy. Whatever. I'll
leave as many options open as I can.

It'll be more exciting.

(pause)
I'll talk about me. Well, I'm an actor, standing on
a stage. Alone at the moment. And, as prepared as
I am, I still feel horrendously exposed. There's
something unsettling about being alone on stage.
There's no one to bail me out if I were to
completely blank out and forget my...
(long pause)
line. Well, there is the stage manager. I suppose
if all else failed, we could bring the lights down,
and I could escape out the back and not have to
shake hands with any one afterwards. I'm not going
to do that, though. If I did, we'd have to give out
refunds. We can't afford to do that. We're lucky
there's an audience at all, to be honest. I know
some people will slip in and out of whatever I'm
talking about, but that's ok. I understand. It's
been a long day.
(pause)
It WOULD be nice to sit down or something.
(long pause)
 Great Play 10

That would have been a nice cue for an entrance.

(Enter ELEVEN with two chairs.)

ELEVEN
Got 'em.

TWELVE
Just slightly late.

ELEVEN
What?

TWELVE
I said something that would have been a good cue
line for you to come back in.

ELEVEN
Yeah, I heard it. I was just standing right over
there.

TWELVE
Then why didn't you come in then?

ELEVEN
I wasn't supposed to.
(pause)
Where should I put the chairs?

TWELVE
On the stage, in the position told to us by our
director, decided on by the writer or the design
team.

ELEVEN
I don't think your supposed to say that.

TWELVE
Well, I did.

ELEVEN
Touché.

(Eleven starts to set up the chairs.)

TWELVE
Well. I think we've arrived at somewhat of a
defining moment in our play.

ELEVEN
We have?

TWELVE
This decision could put some dramatic tension in the
plot.
 Great Play 11

ELEVEN
Decision?

TWELVE
Where and how to place the chairs.

ELEVEN
What?

TWELVE
If I were to want them placed in a particular
position, and you were to oppose me...

ELEVEN
Then we could fight.

TWELVE
We don't have to necessarily fight. But it would be
a stand off, an impasse of points of view. We would
have to resolve the conflict.

ELEVEN
Fight?

TWELVE
It wouldn't have to be physical.

ELEVEN
But that'd be good.

TWELVE
Physical brawling isn't good. It's cheap. It's
also hard to do well.

ELEVEN
A physical outburst on stage is very compelling.

TWELVE
But it is hard to do well. And, we don't want to
peak in terms of conflict this early in the play.

ELEVEN
We should save it.

TWELVE
Agreed.

ELEVEN
Well, I don't care how the chairs go. I just want
to sit.

TWELVE
Like that right there. That could be a conflict.
I care where they go. If you don't, that's a
conflict.
 Great Play 12

ELEVEN
No. If my position is apathy, there's no conflict.
Tell me where to set the chairs and I'll do it.

TWELVE
If I were to get upset about your slothful attitude
to the faithful representation of this play, then
there would be a conflict. It would probably be
comedic rather than dramatic, but...

ELEVEN
(getting short)
Where do you want the chairs?

TWELVE
I suppose some conflict is better than none.

ELEVEN
Chairs!

TWELVE
There it is. Excellent.

ELEVEN
(trying to maintain)
Please tell me where to put the chairs.

TWELVE
Wherever you want.

(Pause. Eleven sets one chair down

regularly, and sets the other so that
the legs stick up. Eleven sits on the
regular one.)

TWELVE
(continuing)
Why?

ELEVEN
Because that whole conversation annoyed me.

TWELVE
Excuse me?

ELEVEN
I don't like this play very much so far. It's
irritating. It's all wordy, meaningless fluff. I
have better things to do with my time.

TWELVE
Do you?

ELEVEN
Yes, I think so. I'm an actor, dedicated to my
craft, and I long to do plays and productions that
push me to excel. So far, I don't feel like this
 Great Play 13

play does that.

TWELVE
I see.

ELEVEN
And I don't think I'm alone. If this were
entertaining for the audience, there'd be a big
response. Maybe even a big strong belly laugh that
would make us have to take a longer pause to wait
for it to be over.

TWELVE
(pause)
So this isn't a great play?

ELEVEN
In my opinion, no.

TWELVE
It should be judged on its entire effect, shouldn't
it?

ELEVEN
I guess so.
(pause)
Maybe we shouldn't worry about this so much.

TWELVE
You're probably right. How many great plays are so
self aware?

ELEVEN
(pause)
I can't think of any.

TWELVE
May I sit?

ELEVEN
If you need to.

TWELVE
Maybe I should stay standing.

ELEVEN
Sit.

TWELVE
It makes some nice levels. Something different to
look at. That's at least entertaining.

ELEVEN
Stand.

TWELVE
But I'm kind of tired. You're sitting.
 Great Play 14

ELEVEN
I got the chairs.

TWELVE
While I stayed out here. So far, I'm a better role
than you.

ELEVEN
Excuse me?

TWELVE
A better role. To play. For the actor. I will
probably get top billing.

ELEVEN
Why?

TWELVE
Well, I've been on stage longer. I've had more
lines, including a monologue. You've had a bunch of
short sentences and questions, and left the stage
for an entire page.

ELEVEN
But I've had to pay attention to you, and react in
a natural way. Good acting is reacting.

TWELVE
What are you talking about?

ELEVEN
Anyone can just babble on and on. It takes a strong
actor to focus on the babbler, and a good comic
sense to know how not to do too much.

TWELVE
Hot air.

ELEVEN
Anyway, we just got started. There's quite a few
pages left, and I might get a monologue later.

TWELVE
Really? That'd be great. I could use a break.
Some water.

ELEVEN
I told you I could have gotten you some when I was
out.

TWELVE
But it's not in the script.

ELEVEN
Why not?
 Great Play 15

TWELVE
I don't know.

ELEVEN
Kind of stupid if you ask me.

TWELVE
Well, it gave us something to talk about for a while.

ELEVEN
That's dumb.

TWELVE
And cheap, but here we are.

(Long pause.)

ELEVEN
What now?

TWELVE
After the pause, we talk about what's next.

ELEVEN
We do that a lot.

TWELVE
True. We are rather fixated on what we're supposed
to do next. When in truth, if we just did
something, that would be the next thing we did.

ELEVEN
Then let's just do it.

TWELVE
But what if it's wrong?

ELEVEN
Wrong?

TWELVE
As in not right. What if we did the not right thing.

ELEVEN
(slight pause)
We could do the...

TWELVE
Let me stop you.

ELEVEN
Why?

TWELVE
You were going to say "do the left thing."
 Great Play 16

ELEVEN
How did you know?

TWELVE
It would have been an easy thing to say. A stupid
joke. I don't like bad puns and I don't want them
in this play.
(pause)
BUT what if He wants them in the play?

ELEVEN
The writer?

TWELVE
Yes.

ELEVEN
Then I guess you wouldn't have stopped me.

TWELVE
Or you wouldn't have stopped.

ELEVEN
Hmmm....

TWELVE
We're very dependant.

ELEVEN
Are we?

TWELVE
Apparently. It would seem that there are rules we
have to follow. A set pattern for what happens next.

ELEVEN
I feel independent.

TWELVE
That's the idea, I think. That we appear and feel
independent. Spontaneous. Natural. Un...

(Beat)

ELEVEN
Planned. And yet we rehearsed.

TWELVE
I know. For hours. We even ran some of these lines
out in the hall before we started.

ELEVEN
I was there. You don't have to tell me that.

TWELVE
It was expository. We have to tell the audience.
If we didn't say it, they wouldn't know.
 Great Play 17

ELEVEN
Sorry.
(pause)
Well, what now?

TWELVE
No. Stop asking that. We aren't going to talk
about it anymore.

ELEVEN
We need to keep checking in every once in a while.
To keep on track.

TWELVE
We should get past that. We should stretch our
wings.

ELEVEN
(looks)
I don't have any.

TWELVE
Metaphorically. So to speak. Explore the
boundaries.

ELEVEN
Like?

TWELVE
Well, why couldn't you have wings?

ELEVEN
(pause)
I don't know how to answer that.

TWELVE
How do you know you don't have wings?

ELEVEN
I'm confidant that if I had wings, this conversation
would have happened earlier in the play.

TWELVE
It might have been interesting to have played the
beginning without mentioning the fact that you have
wings. It might have said something about you, like
an untapped potential. Or maybe you are an angel
sent to help me and reveal truth to me while seeming
like an ordinary person. I've seen that done a lot.

ELEVEN
But usually, the gag is that the audience isn't
supposed to know that I'm an angel. We reveal that
in the end.
(pause)
If I were an angel.
 Great Play 18

(pause)
If I had wings.
(pause)
Which I don't.

(Eleven sits on the floor and lets out

a sigh.)

ELEVEN
(continuing)
I wish I was an angel. At least then this play
would be about something.

TWELVE
You don't have to be an angel for this play to be
about something.

ELEVEN
But it would help.

TWELVE
You're missing the point.

ELEVEN
Am I?

TWELVE
I think so. You having wings or being an angel is
an option. This play COULD be about that. But it
COULD be about something else.

ELEVEN
Then what is it about?

TWELVE
I don't know.
(pause)
I don't think we're allowed to say.

ELEVEN
Not allowed?

TWELVE
We shouldn't. Whether that means we aren't allowed
or we aren't qualified, I'm not sure.

ELEVEN
Aren't qualified? Who is more qualified?

TWELVE
I didn't mean it like that. I mean... well, I'm not
sure.

ELEVEN
In the end, I think that we should define what we're
about. Otherwise, how will anyone know.
 Great Play 19

(Long pause. Eleven kicks the empty

chair over. Pause. Twelve crosses to
the chair, sets it upright and sits in
it. Pause.)

TWELVE
That was an outburst.

ELEVEN
Yes.

TWELVE
Reason?

ELEVEN
Not particularly.

TWELVE
Seemed to me to be frustration.

ELEVEN
I don't think so. I was trying out your theory.

TWELVE
Mine?

ELEVEN
Yeah. You said that if we'd just do something,
that'd be the next thing we did. Or something like
that. I wasn't really listening.

TWELVE
Well, apparently, I was right. You did something,
and there it is... was. You did it. How do you
feel?

ELEVEN
I feel ok. I still don't feel like I accomplished
anything.

TWELVE
I don't think that matters. You accomplished what
He wanted you to accomplish.

ELEVEN
Who?

TWELVE
The writer.

ELEVEN
He didn't write that. I just did it.

TWELVE
He didn't?
 Great Play 20

ELEVEN
No. He couldn't have... Why would he write that?

TWELVE
Why would he write the conversation we're having?

ELEVEN
Why are we even here?

TWELVE
To be a great play.

ELEVEN
Is this great?

(Long, long pause.)

ELEVEN
(continuing)
I think this is silly.

TWELVE
What?

ELEVEN
It's silly. Two people on stage talking about
whether or not they're in a great play. It's silly.

TWELVE
So it's silly. What are you going to do about it?

ELEVEN
I don't know.

TWELVE
You'll have to do something.
(no response)
So now I get the silent treatment?
(no response)
This is ridiculous.

ELEVEN
No more ridiculous than what we've done and said so
far.

TWELVE
You have to do something.

ELEVEN
(pause)
I could leave.

TWELVE
Leave? To where?

ELEVEN
I left before.
 Great Play 21

TWELVE
Fine, go.
(pause)
Why don't you just go sit down out there?

ELEVEN
In the audience?

TWELVE
Yes. Go sit down. If you aren't going to
participate, you might as well spectate.

ELEVEN
Reduce myself to a spectator?

TWELVE
Spectator is not a lower position than you. We
wouldn't be acting without them.

ELEVEN
Yeah, we could have gone home.

TWELVE
Get off the stage.

ELEVEN
But I'm up here with you.

TWELVE
Go. I don't need you. You're in my way of making
this a great play.

ELEVEN
A great play without me?

TWELVE
Just go sit down, and quit disrupting.

(Eleven goes and sits in the back of

the theatre, or at least half way back.)

ELEVEN (O.S.)
Ok, let's see what you can do without me.

(Twelve fidgets for a moment

uncomfortably, then starts to clean up
the chairs.)

ELEVEN (O.S.)
(continuing)
Great, get caught up in the chair thing. We already
went through that and it led nowhere.

TWELVE
You aren't in this play anymore.
 Great Play 22

ELEVEN (O.S.)
I'm audience. I'm in the play. I'm involved, and
I'm telling you what I think.

TWELVE
This isn't interactive theatre. No more talking.
You're disturbing the other people around you.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
(to another audience member)
Am I bothering you? Am I disturbing you?

TWELVE
Leave them alone.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
I'm audience now, you can't tell me what to do.
(boos and hisses)
This play is terrible. I want my money back.

TWELVE
You didn't pay anything.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
I want their money back.

TWELVE
Do me a favor.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
Why should I? Actor!

TWELVE
Ask them if they like this play.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
They don't. Get off the stage.

TWELVE
I'm trying to find out if this is a great play.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
It isn't.

TWELVE
Stop that.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
Make me.

TWELVE
You're a child, do you know that?

ELEVEN (O.S.)
Change my diaper.
 Great Play 23

TWELVE
Get back up here.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
I like it out here. It's more comfortable.

TWELVE
That's not what you're here for.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
How do you know what I'm here for?

TWELVE
You and I are both here to be actors. Get on stage.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
I quit. I'm not an actor.

TWELVE
You are. Get up here.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
Say you need me.

TWELVE
What?

ELEVEN (O.S.)
Say you need my help and I'll come back up there.

TWELVE
All right.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
All right what?

TWELVE
I need your help.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
I don't believe you.

TWELVE
Fine. I'm lost without you. I'm a desperate,
hopeless, lost waste of a human being without your
divine help.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
Fine. As long as you're willing to admit it.

(Eleven re-takes the stage. He takes

the chairs off stage.)

TWELVE
Where are you going?
 Great Play 24

ELEVEN (O.S.)
Putting the chairs back.

TWELVE
You can't do that.

ELEVEN (O.S.)
I'm doing it. Now we can start over.

TWELVE
You think that just because you put the chairs away,
you can just erase all that happened here?

ELEVEN
(re-entering)
Nothing happened here.

TWELVE
Yes it did.

ELEVEN
You and I were here. We talked about nothing, then
I left. You said something, I wasn't here but I'm
sure it was about nothing, I came back with chairs,
more nothing, then I went out there, and more
nothing. We're starting over.

(Eleven takes the original position.

Pause.)

TWELVE
That's the stupidest thing that's happened yet.

ELEVEN
What?

TWELVE
You thinking that we can just start over. Just like
that. That they'll just forget what has happened.

ELEVEN
What's to forget?

TWELVE
All of our actions, our dialogue. We've established
characters. We created mood.

ELEVEN
Mood.

TWELVE
We have a play going on here. You can't just start
over.

ELEVEN
Watch me.
 Great Play 25

(Eleven is in the original stage

position. Twelve, out of position,
stares at Eleven. Pause.)

TWELVE
Ridiculous.

ELEVEN
Get over here and start over.

TWELVE
I won't.

ELEVEN
If we start over, we have a better chance at making
this a great play.

TWELVE
Great or not, even if I wanted to, we can't start
over. This is a play, we're in the middle of it.

ELEVEN
Please?

TWELVE
Why should we just throw away all that has happened?

ELEVEN
It was boring and stupid.

TWELVE
So. We can't just discard it. We have to build on
it to make it great.

ELEVEN
I don't think anyone will care. I was out there.
They won't mind. Come on.

(Twelve gets into position.)

(Two characters stand side by side,

center stage facing the audience.
Long, long pause.)

ELEVEN
(continuing)
What now?

TWELVE
Anything.

ELEVEN
Anything?
(long pause)
But...
 Great Play 26

TWELVE
Shh. You're ruining the opening image.

ELEVEN
Image?

TWELVE
It sets the tone for the play.

(Long pause.)

ELEVEN
Nothing's different so far.

TWELVE
You've ruined it.

ELEVEN
The image?

TWELVE
No, the do over. We really did have a chance to
start over and make it great. Instead you blow it
by reminding me of what we're trying to forget.

ELEVEN
We were doing the same stupid things.

TWELVE
We just got started.

ELEVEN
Try again?

TWELVE
All right.

(Two characters stand side by side,

center stage facing the audience.
Long, long pause.)

ELEVEN
What now?

TWELVE
Anything.

ELEVEN
Anything?
(long pause)
But...

TWELVE
Shh. You're ruining the opening image.

ELEVEN
Scrimmage?
 Great Play 27

TWELVE
What?

ELEVEN
Scrimmage.

TWELVE
Why did you say that?

ELEVEN
I was trying something new.

(Long pause.)

ELEVEN
(continuing)
Fine. Bring back the chairs.

TWELVE
Great.

(Twelve goes for the chairs.)

ELEVEN
I hope so.

(Twelve returns.)

TWELVE
I told you we couldn't start over.
(with chairs)
How were they?

ELEVEN
Who cares? Just set them down. We'll go from there.

(The chairs are set up as before.)

TWELVE
That's how they were.

ELEVEN
Fine.

(Long pause. Eleven crosses behind

chair and steps over the back to stand
on top of the chair, with one foot on
the back.)

TWELVE
That's a position of dominance.

ELEVEN
You think so? It feels like accomplishment.
Achieving a pinnacle. I've conquered a mountain.
Everest. No, that's overused.
 Great Play 28

(Pause.)

TWELVE
Kilamanjaro?

ELEVEN
Yes. I've conquered Kilamanjaro.

TWELVE
Then where does that leave me?

ELEVEN
Well, you're down there. At the foot. The base.

TWELVE
Safe on base.

ELEVEN
More like at the beginning.

TWELVE
You think?

ELEVEN
Yes.

TWELVE
Of course, our stage positions do not have to be
relative. Your accomplishment pose doesn't
necessarily mean I've failed.

ELEVEN
A varying degrees picture?

TWELVE
Why not?
(pause)
So if I moved...

ELEVEN
Different picture. You try.

TWELVE
Why?

ELEVEN
To progress the action.

TWELVE
I suppose so.

(Twelve stands on the chair that's

turned over.)
 Great Play 29

TWELVE
(continuing)
To be honest, I don't know why you started with a
dominance pose. What can you possibly feel that you
have conquered so far in this play?

ELEVEN
I don't know.

TWELVE
It could be wishful thinking, or maybe it's my
current state of mind. A piece of nonverbal
exposition.

ELEVEN
I like heights.

TWELVE
(slight pause)
Wishful thinking it is.

ELEVEN
Move.

TWELVE
You really want to force this piece of business.

(Eleven gets down from chair.)

ELEVEN
It's an action. Taking action drives the plot.

TWELVE
Who needs to drive, let's enjoy the ride.

ELEVEN
I enjoy driving. That way I know I'm going
somewhere.

TWELVE
(pause)
What does that mean?

ELEVEN
(pause)
You know... I have no idea.

(Twelve gets down.)

TWELVE
Getting the chairs back was a bad idea.

ELEVEN
Not necessarily.
 Great Play 30

TWELVE
We can have a very theatrical show with just the two
of us standing here. Talking.

ELEVEN
(slight pause)
I can't think of anything more boring than watching
us just stand here and jaw about absolutely nothing.

TWELVE
Try it. Just...

(Long, long, long pause.)

TWELVE
(continuing)
Do you feel anything?

ELEVEN
Of course I feel something.

TWELVE
What?

ELEVEN
Apathy.

(Pause.)

TWELVE
I feel pain.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
I always feel pain.

(Pause.)

TWELVE
If pain were constant, would you still feel it?

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
You think I'm numb?

TWELVE
I didn't say that.

ELEVEN
But...

TWELVE
But I do think it.
 Great Play 31

ELEVEN
Why?

TWELVE
How can you not feel anything?

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
I don't know.

(Pause.)

TWELVE
Ask me about something.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
Why should I?

TWELVE
Because you should. It's what I feel.

ELEVEN
That's dumb, I won't.

TWELVE
Dumb. Numb. That rhymes.

(Eleven shoots Twelve a glare.)

ELEVEN
I'm going to stop doing nothing if you keep it up.

(Long, long pause.)

ELEVEN
(continuing)
Say something.

(Long pause.)

ELEVEN
(continuing)
Suggest an action.

(Long pause.)

ELEVEN
(continuing)
I'm dying.

(Pause.)
 Great Play 32

TWELVE
(very slowly)
I should think that I would like to...

ELEVEN
(interrupting)
Yes?

TWELVE
(still slow)
Let me finish...

ELEVEN
(interrupting)
Sorry.

TWELVE
(slow)
At my own pace.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
I can't wait forever.

TWELVE
You'll wait as long as it takes.

ELEVEN
I won't.

TWELVE
No?

ELEVEN
No.

TWELVE
What? How can you not?

ELEVEN
I won't. I'll move on.

TWELVE
To?

ELEVEN
Something else. A new thought or idea. Concept.
Vision. Belief. Lifestyle.

TWELVE
As if you could. You tried that already. Leaving.

ELEVEN
I have.
 Great Play 33

TWELVE
What?

ELEVEN
I just moved on.

TWELVE
Really?

ELEVEN
Yes.

TWELVE
I didn't see you move.

ELEVEN
I moved on... on the inside.

TWELVE
(trying to lead eleven)
You moved on to...
(pause)
What is it?

ELEVEN
(pause)
I was waiting for you to finish.

TWELVE
Tell me.

ELEVEN
Meat.

TWELVE
Meat?

ELEVEN
Meat.

TWELVE
What does that mean?

ELEVEN
Meat.

TWELVE
Meat.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
Meat.

TWELVE
The food?
 Great Play 34

ELEVEN
The substance. Organic matter. Flesh. Muscle and
fat.

TWELVE
Why meat?

ELEVEN
I'm hungry.

TWELVE
You're all appetite.

ELEVEN
It's all I can think about right now. I wanted the
danishes, and now I want meat.

TWELVE
Meat and danish.

ELEVEN
Not together, but yeah.

TWELVE
That was a waste of time.

ELEVEN
I tried to tell you.

(Twelve sits down in the chair. Eleven

lays down and taps on the floor
repeatedly through a long pause.)

TWELVE
Would you mind not doing that.

ELEVEN
What?

TWELVE
Tapping.

ELEVEN
Just keeping time.
(pause)
While we're wasting it.

TWELVE
It's not a waste.
(pause)
It's not a waste.
(pause)
It's not...

ELEVEN
(finishing)
A waste.
 Great Play 35

(Long pause.)

TWELVE
Well?
(pause.)
Now what?

ELEVEN
We weren't going to ask that anymore.

TWELVE
What else is there to do? I'm out of ideas.

(Eleven gets up and goes to Twelve.

Eleven slaps Twelve's face.)

TWELVE
(continuing)
For?

ELEVEN
Do I need a reason?

TWELVE
There should be one.

(Pause.)

ELEVEN
There may be. I'm not going to tell you.

(Pause.)

TWELVE
And now?

ELEVEN
Let's go.

TWELVE
Leave?

ELEVEN
Yes.

TWELVE
It's over?

ELEVEN
Yes.

TWELVE
How do you know?

ELEVEN
Because I am leaving. Are you coming too?
 Great Play 36

TWELVE
I'll be with you in a minute.

ELEVEN
I'll go on ahead of you. Don't stay too long.

TWELVE
I can't.

ELEVEN
Right.

(Eleven grabs the two chairs and exits

stage left.)

TWELVE
It's over. Came faster than I expected.
(looks around)
I guess now that it's over, we should know what it's
about. It's out there, something happened. It
happened here, and it involved us and them.
(pause)
I hope that it was a great play. But I guess it
didn't have to be.
(pause)
What does this all mean?
(pause)
It could mean nothing.
(pause)
If that's what you want it to mean.

(Pause. Then Twelve exits. Blackout.)

 Great Play 37

Character Breakdown

Eleven and Twelve-- both neutral characters, can be either gender and of any
adult age. Eleven is more impulsive, Twelve is more intellectual.

Plot Synopsis

Two actors discover themselves on stage and in their desire to be a part of a

great play, try to figure out what they are supposed to do, while having
discussions ranging from the use of pregnant pauses and the nature of the
actor's job, to audience relation to performance and the use of symbolic stage
images.