Date: May 2, 2006

Issue #:13

The
Chronicling the play and behavior of ATAG Tour
Members

22 PLAYERS COMPETE!
May 2, 2006
Ansley Tuesday Afternoon Golf Tour (ATAG)
By: Don Nichols

The first Tuesday of May saw 22 players show up on a beautiful day to compete for the golden
ale. Players were quickly assembled into the following teams with the first group getting off early
at 4:45 pm.

Team 1 Team 2 Team 3 Team 4

Bill Benning Tim Martin Craig Sellner Brooks Cowles
Tom Kisgen Geoff Fitzgerald Danny Morris Henry Sawyer
Andy Tyber Ollie Kennon Mike Gutt Rick Eaton
Scotty Greene Sherm Wade Tom Thornhill Brad Reese
Score: -5 Score: -10 Score: -8 Score: -8

Team 5 Team 6
C.J. Young Ron Majors
Marty Arnold Lee Pearson
Jon Carper Mike Gaddis
Score -13 Score: -6

13 UNDER RULES AGAIN!

13 under grabbed the gusto once again, this time by the threesome of Marty Arnold, C.
J. Young, and Jon Carper. The triumphant trio did not even have to draw a fourth
partner to become the hands down winner. They were especially proud of their
accomplishment, noting that only 2 of them were in play on almost every hole. Providing
the libations to the triumvirate on this evening was the early bird Team 1 of Bill
Benning, Tom Kisgen, Andy Tyber and Scotty Greene who finished 5 under and then
had to wait for five other groups to finish before their agony was officially realized.

Continued From Above

REESE WINS LOW GROSS !
Brad Reese returned to form after his last miserable outing by posting a 38 , easily outdistancing
fellow single digiters Lee Pearson, Ollie Kennon, Rick Eaton, and Andy Tyber, none of whom
had a score having a first digit of 3. Topping the charts on this day was 26 handicapper Craig
Sellner who climbed to a roaring 55 to capture the prize without any direct competition from the
absent “Lucky Frank” Corrigan.

ARNOLD POSTS 5 UNDER NET! CO LEADER IN THE CLUB HOUSE!

“Metro Marty” Arnold, currently carrying a disputable 15 handicap, fired a blistering 39,
outscoring all of the single digiters except for Reese to record a net 5 under score which ties him
with Russ Jobson as a co leader in the clubhouse. Arnold, like Jobson, has been placed on the
Handicap Committee’s Watch List.

FLAT STICK PROVIDES TWO SHOTS OF THE DAY!

Shot of the day was shared by last week’s dissident Mike Gaddis who sank a 36 foot putt (well,
maybe it was 34 feet, or 32 feet or 30 feet, or 25 feet depending who was describing it ) to make
birdie, net eagle on # 4, and by “Metro Marty” Arnold who sank a 35 ft putt (well, maybe it
was 33 ft or 30 ft –his words were slurring) to make birdie, net eagle on # 5. Tim Martin
received honorable mention for clearing the # 2 tee box with his “fore” approach shot from the
fairway on # 1. No one was injured and so far no law suits have been filed.

BIRDIE PARADE CONTINUES!

The Birdie Club continued to grow on this day with birdies by the aforementioned Mike Gaddis
and “Metro Marty” Arnold along with Tom Kisgen and Andy Tyber.

OTHER TIDBITS
It was a beautiful and relatively quiet evening on the porch as players waited for all groups to
finish. Though on the DL, the Commissioner was there to greet the teams as they finished and to
record attendance, offer congratulations, and to assess fines where warranted.

In that regard, Team 4 members Henry Sawyer, Brooks Cowles, Brad Reese, and Rick Eaton
received double fines by finishing three holes behind the group in front of them, slowing down
play for the two groups behind them. A spokesman for the dilatory group admitted in a post
round interview that they were “deliberate in their approach” in recording a meaningless 8 under
score.

The Commissioner slyly ruled that the two threesome teams need not draw a 4th player since the
added partner score would not affect the outcome of the match, causing the fourth beer, by
custom, to be awarded to the Commissioner.

Making their debut for the 2006 season was the affable Lee Pearson and the personable Canuck
Geoff Fitzpatrick, each of whom showed some of the rust from being away from ATAG Tour
competition, and Two Glove Tom Thornhill , proudly displaying two new gloves for the 2006
season.
Continued From Above
A forlorn Henry Sawyer was overheard saying that he made no contribution to his team and that
his play of the last 3 weeks has been among his worst. Oddly, he received no commiseration from
his fellow ATAGers, who seemed to be anxious to change the subject as if they were afraid the
same affliction would befall them.

Kudos to Danny Morris for arranging for additional tee times in the Commissioner’s absence
and corralling the 22 players into different teams. Upon conclusion of the match, Morris turned
in his resignation as the Assistant to the Commissioner. It was not accepted.

Andy Tyber carried the ATAG banner high in Ireland, firing a 73 at the storied Waterville Golf
Club on the Ring of Kerry. Upon his return to the ATAG Tour, however, he only managed a 41
at the Ansley in town nine, succumbing to the pressure of true tournament caliber competition.

Russ Jobson made a cameo appearance on the porch to the warm welcome of his fellow
ATAGers. However, under intense questioning, Jobson admitted to having just finished a round
with non ATAG players, a flagrant and unpardonable violation of ATAG By Laws. After a brief
committee meeting behind closed doors, he was immediately placed on Double Secret
Probation.

And, finally, though the Commissioner is going under the knife this Friday and is expected to
miss the next two or three matches, he has instructed the Chief Editor of The Nickelodeon to
continue to chronicle the play and behavior of the ATAG Tour players so that decorum can be
maintained and appropriate action can be taken whenever warranted.

Box Scores (front nine)*

Reese 38 Thornhill 41 Fitzpatrick 45 Sellner 55
Arnold 39 Tyber 41 Cowles 45
Young 40 Eaton 41 Martin 47
Morris 40 Kisgen 43 Benning 48
Pearson 40 Carper 43 Sawyer 48
Kennon 40 Majors 44 Gutt 50
S. Wade 41 Gaddis 44 Greener 51
*as with last week, until the tee boxes are restored on # 7 / #16, each player shall record his score on that hole as if he
was lying one at the temporary tee box in front of the lake.
.