Affordable Rates and Color TV

A Play by Andy Boyd

201 Power St.

Providence, RI, 02906
253 298 8582
andyjamesboyd@gmail.com
 2

Characters:
Kim, 17
Frankie, 18
Scott, 23
Claire, 17
Gabby, 18
Ben, 29

Setting:
A motel in Prescott, Arizona. Prescott is in the foothills about an hour and a half north of
Phoenix. It is high desert, with pine trees and snow until April. The vegetation is stubbly
and mean. There are many thrift stores. There is not much rain.

This play was first performed in October of 2011 at the Adam’s Pool Theatre in
Cambridge Massachusetts in a production directed by the author. The cast was as
follows:

Mary Hallowell…………..Kim
Omar Cancio……………..Frankie
Will Kehler……………….Scott
Harleen Gambhir………....Claire
Rachael Epstein…………..Gabby
Will Ryan………………...Ben

The stage manager was Alice Li.

A note on casting: northern Arizona is a multi-cultural area in which native and Hispanic
populations predate Anglos by hundreds of years. If you can, try to reflect this in your
casting. If you can’t, try a little harder.
 3

Scene 1:

Kim sits behind the counter of the motel.

Brochure rack, continental breakfast table,
mini fridge, phone, CD player. A small
Christmas tree is set up in the corner. One
door leads outside, another leads to Kim’s
room. There is an “Open” sign on the door.
Kim tries to read The Grapes of Wrath. She
checks her watch every twenty seconds. She
wears a white tank top, a flannel shirt, and
jean shorts with a large belt buckle. Finally,
she gets up, gets a bucket from under the
counter, and crosses to the door. Ben enters
carrying a suitcase.

Kim:
Hi!

She turns off the CD player.

Ben:
Hi. I’d like to get a room.

Kim:
Do you have a reservation?

Ben:
You take reservations?

Kim:
There’s a form on the website.

Ben:
You have a website?

Kim:
So that’s a no on the reservation. I was actually just going out to do something, would
you mind sitting tight for a second?

She crosses to the door with her bucket.

Scott:
Hey babe!

Kim:
 4

Oh hey. I gotta go get some ice so I’ll be right back.

Scott:
For the…

Kim:
Yeah.

Scott:
Okay.

She exits. Pause.

Scott:
The fuck are you looking at?

Kim comes back in, her bucket now full of

ice.

Ben:
So can I just…

Kim:
Just a second!

Scott:
Babe, can we actually talk real quick?

Kim:
Can you wait just seriously like a minute I…

Scott:
Yeah, okay, sure.

She goes into her room, comes back without

the bucket.

Kim:
Okay. Sorry about that.

Ben/Scott:
It’s fine.

Kim:
What brings you to Prescott?
 5

Ben:
A conference.

Kim:
You up from Phoenix?

She starts filling in the paperwork for his

room.

Ben:
Yep.

Kim:
Cool. I’ve heard Phoenix is really cool.

Ben:
You’ve never been?

Kim:
I’ve always wanted to go. Name?

Ben:
Ben Jones. Really? It’s like ninety minutes south, you can totally go to Phoenix if you
want to go to Phoenix.

Kim:
Haha, yeah! How long are you planning on staying here?

Ben:
Just ‘til Monday morning.

Scott:
Babe, I think I’m going to head out. Me and the guys are going to go down to
Christina’s, you know? They got that new waitress and we found out from some guy she
works with that her shift’s tonight, okay? So I’m gonna head out.

Kim:
Okay, that’s fine. First floor fine?

Ben:
That’s fine.

Scott:
So I’ll be back later.

Kim:
 6

Sure. Okay. You’re going to be in A-41, just next door, okay?

Ben:
Thanks.

Kim:
Yeah sure. Enjoy your stay, okay?

Ben:
I will. See you.

Ben exits.

Kim:
What was that?

Scott:
What?

Kim:
That right there, what the fuck was that?

Scott:
I was being friendly!

Kim:
You were being an asshole. Are you trying to drive off my customers?

Scott:
They’re not your customers.

Kim:
Yes they are. Until I leave here, they’re mine.

Scott:
This is not the time to be putting down roots. This is the time to be…up-rooting roots.
We’re supposed to be out of here in two weeks, babe!

Kim:
Yes, obviously, we both know this is temporary but when you’re used to something like
this it’s not always that easy to just walk away.

Scott:
You mean, the motel?

Kim:
 7

Of course the motel, what else would I mean?

Scott:
Nothing, I just get worried.

Kim:
Come on, that’s not fair.

Scott:
Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.

Kim:
Yeah, like that. Jesus! Just yell at me or something, I can take that.

Scott:
You’re not being fair.

Kim:
Okay, don’t talk to me about fair. You volunteered for this. You can get out if you want.

Scott:
I don’t want to. Besides, I already know too much.

Kim:
Who the fuck are you, Bruce Willis? You know too much. You’re not a fucking hit-man,
Scott, Jesus!

Scott:
That’s not what I mean. I mean, you know, you know you need me around.

Kim:
I can hire repairmen. I can hire bodyguards.

Scott:
You don’t have any money to hire bodyguards.

Kim:
I’ll hire biker gangs, day laborers, I’ll hire kids from my geometry class.

Scott:
You don’t have a geometry class!

Kim:
I used to.

Scott:
 8

Baby, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. I know your life right now isn’t perfect, but
guess what? Life isn’t perfect, darling. It’s hard, and it sucks, and then you die.

Kim:
I know.

Scott:
You keep on trying to act like it’s like it used to be but it’s not, you know? And part of
what it is is me. I want to make you happy, Kimmie. It’s like with the customers, you
know? They’re your Mom’s customers. Not yours. You gotta start thinking about the
here and now, and, more than that, the future. You love me, right?

Kim:
Yeah.

Scott:
Well, that’s good, cause I love you too and I get scared when you talk like that. I mean,
there’s going to be a time when I’m just not willing to wait around anymore. You keep
pushing back this deadline…

Kim:
It’s a federal crime until I’m eighteen.

Scott:
We’ve committed quite a few federal crimes.

Kim:
“Transporting a minor across state lines.” It’s how they got Jack Johnson.

Scott:
The banana pancakes guy?

Kim:
The boxer!

Scott:
Wait, what the fuck are you talking about?

Kim:
I want a clean break, Scottie. Clean means no more additions to your rap sheet. Or mine.
Means we wait until we’re both legal adults and then hit the road. Deal with mom and hit
the road.

Scott:
How is that? The whole mom situation?
 9

Kim:
Mom? She’s fine. I was just in there.

Scott:
Okay.

Kim:
It’s weird.

Scott:
Yeah.

Kim:
It’s hard.

Scott:
Yeah, I know. If there’s anything I can do to help out…

Kim:
Yeah. Were you serious about Christina’s?

Scott:
The guys want to go. I don’t know if I will.

Kim:
It’s winter formal.

Scott:
No, it’s not like that.

Kim:
What do you mean?

Scott:
Well, a lot of kids go there after dances. A lot of girls without dates. It’s like a notch
down from bride’s maids.

Kim:
It’s like a notch down from felony.

Scott:
I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m a grown ass man, I don’t need to be scammin’ off high
school girls.

Kim:
I know.
 10

Scott:
Not like you though. You dropped out, it doesn’t count.

Kim:
Kay.

Scott:
What?

Kim:
I kinda want to go.

Scott:
What?

Kim:
It’ll be fun! We can go and make fun of their stupid dipshit dancing and stuff.

Scott:
Kim, I’m 23. I can’t go to winter fucking formal. And neither can you.

Kim:
Yeah, but whatever! They never paid attention to me when I went there, they won’t even
notice!

Scott:
We’re too old for that stuff.

Kim:
I’m 17.

Scott:
I know. But still. Kimmie, you were born too old for that stuff. I think you’ll hit your
perfect age when you’re like 65.

Kim:
What does that mean?

Scott:
I don’t know. You’re an old soul or something. My gramma used to say I’m an old soul. I
don’t think I am but I think you are.

Kim:
Okay.
 11

Scott:
Like, you’re wise. You’re smart as a whip but that’s not even what I mean. It’s like, I
don’t know, it’s in your eyes and stuff. And the way you cock your head when you think
about things.

Kim:
I guess.

Scott:
Like that. Like that right there.

Kim:
I’m 17. Don’t try to make me something I’m not.

Scott:
I’m not! I’m not doing that. Dammit.

Kim:
What?

Scott:
I just wanted so say a nice thing to you.

Kim:
Oh, Scottie, I’m sorry.

Scott:
It’s okay. Hey! I’ll tell you what: I’m going to go down to Christina’s but I’ll only stay
like 45 minutes or an hour and then me and you can do something fun, okay? Like,
maybe we could get a little high and climb the water tower. You ever do that? Like, when
you were a kid you ever do that?

Kim:
I did not get a little high when I was a kid.

Scott:
You know what I mean. Your old man ever take you up the water tower?

Kim:
No. He was more the kick a hole in the wall and disappear for three months type.

Scott:
Jeez, bleak.

Kim shrugs.
 12

Scott:
Okay so we’ll do the water tower. Well that’ll be fun. Sound nice?

Kim:
Yeah. I’d like that.

Scott:
Okay. Well, I’m gonna head out.

Kim:
Yeah. Have a nice time.

Scott:
Yeah, babe. See you soon.

Kim:
Oh! Damn. I just realized we can’t go. Someone has to stay here and take care of Mom.

Scott:
Couldn’t you do that before we left?

Kim:
Maybe. But we’d have to make it quick. It melts pretty quick. I mean, with the smell and
all.

Scott:
Yeah. Okay.

Kim:
Hey, thanks for not being like totally grossed out about this.

Scott:
You do know I am like totally grossed out about this, right? Like, this is pretty gross.

Kim:
Yeah.

Scott:
And, uh, baby?

Kim:
Yeah?

Scott:
It’s weird when you call it Mom. I mean, most people just say, like, “the body” or
something.
 13

Kim:
She’s my Mom.

Scott:
Honey, she isn’t your Mom. Not anymore, she isn’t.

Kim:
Okay. It’s just hard.

Scott:
I know. But Kim. She’s dead.
 14

Scene 2:

Claire walks in, setting off the bells on

the door. She wears her formal dress. Kim
walks in.

Claire:
Hi.

Kim:
Oh! Hi, Claire! I didn’t think you were coming.

Claire:
I always do. I want to help you keep up.

Kim:
Yeah, but I thought with formal and all.

Claire:
I thought about that but then I realized I didn’t say I wouldn’t come over so I thought it’d
be best if I did.

Kim:
Thanks.

Claire:
You’re welcome.

Kim:
You really didn’t have to though.

Claire:
I care about you.

Kim:
Thanks.

Claire:
Okay then. So! I have the notes from class, but it’s not really much because school is sort
of winding down. It’s the last week of the semester, we’re watching movies in like four
of my classes.

Kim:
That’s fine.
 15

Claire hands the notes to Kim.

Claire:
Kay.

Kim:
They’re a little smudged.

Claire:
You got like a pen in your room?

Kim:
Don’t go in there!

Claire:
What?

Kim:
It’s fine. They’re fine. The notes are fine.

Claire:
Sorry if they totally suck. It’s hard to think about that kind of stuff with all the senior
stuff I’ve been doing.

Kim:
What senior stuff do you do?

Claire:
Oh, you know.

Kim:
No, what?

Claire:
Student Body President.

Kim:
Oh.

Claire:
Remember? Kim, I know I told you this. Right? No, yeah, I totally did. Like a hundred
times, Kim!

Kim:
No, I think I remember that.
 16

Claire:
Okay. Gosh. I feel like we’re losing each other. I mean, I’ll be going to NAU next year
anyway but still. We should at least spend time together while we can. I’ll miss you.

Kim:
Shit.

Claire:
What?

Kim:
I’m moving away.

Claire:
What? Why?

Kim:
I’m sick of it here. I’m sick of my Mom. I just need to get away.

Claire:
Okay. Um. Okay? Why didn’t you tell me this?

Kim:
I’m sorry. I was going to.

Claire:
When were you going to tell me?

Kim:
I guess like nowish.

Claire:
Alright, fine.

The sound of a car horn.

Claire:
Oh. It looks like that’s them.

Kim:
Who’s them?

Claire:
 17

You know, Frankie and Gabby. They had to get some stuff before Winter Formal. They
said they’d pick me up after.

Kim:
Like, what kind of stuff?

Claire:
Winter Formal stuff stuff.

Kim:
After Winter Formal stuff?

Claire:
Don’t make me do this.

Kim:
Sorry.

Claire:
It’s okay. I mean, I don’t want to have to choose between you two. Anyway. It’s
complicated.

Kim:
I know.

Claire:
Right. Did you guys ever like actually…

Kim:
Oh gross! No. I just think he’s too good for her. Hey, don’t tell him, okay? I want to tell
him myself.

Claire:
You two are like super weird.

Frankie enters.

Frankie:
Hey, Claire, are you almost ready? Oh, hey Kim.

Claire:
I’ll let you two kids sort things out here.

She exits.

Kim:
 18

No, Claire, really…

Claire:
I’m already gone!

She is.

Frankie:
You look. Nice.

Kim:
You look like a waiter.

Frankie:
Thanks.

Kim:
Is that a cummerbund? Do you have to go straight from Formal to your audition as a
dancing monkey?

Frankie:
Hey, I look good!

Kim:
Yeah, it’ll go great with your cymbals. You get cymbals, right?

Frankie:
Gabby picked it out. It goes with her dress.

Kim:
Okay.

Frankie:
You’re supposed to do that for Formal.

Kim:
Hey, fuck you, man. Like a month ago you would have thought that was funny. Now you
got this girlfriend and suddenly it’s like you can’t take a joke? You used to be the only
one who could keep up with me, and even when you couldn’t you at least tried.

Frankie:
I could keep up with you better if you would keep in touch better.

Kim:
Well, you’ve been spending all your time with whatever her name is.
 19

Frankie:
Gabby. Her name’s Gabby. It’s short for Gabriela.

Kim:
Okay.

Frankie:
You went to school with her for 11 years, Kim. What’s up with you?

Kim:
Hey, I’m not the one that stopped calling you!

Frankie:
Yes, you are. I called you back that time and then you didn’t call me back.

Kim:
Well your message was stupid or whatever and I could tell you didn’t really want to see
me.

Frankie:
Yes, I did!

Kim:
You can’t do that to me. Maybe you can do it with Gabby or whatever but I know you too
well for you to bullshit me like that.

Frankie:
All right, fine, you’re right. I’ve been a really shitty friend these last couple of months.
I’m sorry.

Kim:
Me too.

Frankie:
It’s okay. We still have time though. I’m not leaving until August, so we still the rest of
the school year and summer.

Kim:
Yeah. Yeah.

Frankie:
Hey, how’s your Mom? I know it was sort of touch and go there for a while.

Kim:
She’s not doing so well.
 20

Frankie:
Well, I hope she gets better.

Kim:
Thanks.

Claire walks in.

Claire:
Hey Frankie?

Frankie:
I gotta go.

Claire exits.

Kim:
Yeah, I know.

Frankie:
I know the guy who’s the DJ and he said he’d play “Forever Young” as the first slow
song, and I don’t want to miss that.

Kim:
The Dylan one?

Frankie:
No! The German Synthpop group Alphaville’s 1984 classic!

Kim:
That’s like one of the worst songs ever.

Frankie:
Right? Hey, after Formal, I’ll swing by, okay? See how you’re doing.

Kim:
Are you sure Gabby won’t mind?

Frankie:
No. She gets it.

Claire walks in.

Claire:
No, like actually. You have the keys and it’s fucking freezing. We’re wearing like
nothing.
 21

Frankie:
Yeah, I’ll be out soon.

Claire:
Okay. Invite me to the wedding.

She exits.

Frankie:
This is our year, Kim. Everything’s going to be just like it used to be. You’ll see.
 22

SCENE 3:

The lights are off. We hear the sound of

the door opening. A light turns on. Kim
sits in a chair, Ben has entered.

Kim:
Where the fuck were you?

Ben:
What? In my room?

Kim:
Sorry! I thought you were someone else!

Ben:
Well, I’m glad I’m not him.

Kim:
Yeah, well... What were you doing in the lobby at eleven at night?

Ben:
Looking for coffee.

Kim:
I don’t have decaf.

Ben:
I don’t really sleep so…

Kim:
Okay. There’s some in the pot over there. It’s from this morning and no one drank it. No
one ever really drinks it.

Ben:
Thanks.

He gets some.

Ben:
Right. This is pretty awful coffee.

Kim:
Sorry.

Ben:
 23

Oh, hey, so I’ve been meaning to ask you about something. There’s sort of a smell in my
room, and I can’t quite place it but I was wondering if you know anything about it.

Kim:
You know, I haven’t noticed anything, but I’ll look into it.

Ben:
It’s sort of like something went bad.

Kim:
Okay. I’ll look into it. Would you like a different room?

Ben:
No, that’s fine, I’ll only be here a few days.

Kim:
Okay.

Ben:
Well. See you.

He exits. She turns the light back off.

After a while, the door opens again.

Kim:
Where were you?

She turns on the light. It’s Frankie.

Frankie:
What? Winter formal?

Kim:
Oh. Sorry. I was expecting someone else.

Frankie:
Sorry to disappoint.

Kim:
No, it’s fine. How was Winter Formal?

Frankie:
It was good. My DJ friend played “Forever Young” and then I requested “Time After
Time” and he played that and then I requested “Running up that Hill” and he played that.
It was pretty awesome.
 24

Kim:
I never got your whole ‘80s thing. You were born in, what, 1999?

Frankie:
I’m actually a Y2K baby. I guess I just feel like the ‘80s were the last time America was
really innocent. People had this totally unfounded confidence that I just can’t imagine.
They fucking went for it, balls to the walls, with like shoulder pads and key-tars, huge
hair, everything, like, who cares what anyone else thinks? And I care so much what
everyone else thinks. I mean it’s gotten me through high school, so it must have been
good for something.

Kim:
High school sounds terrible. You’re so oppressed.

Frankie:
What do you mean? You left.

Kim:
I didn’t want to.

Frankie:
Weird. Formal was fun though.

Kim:
I’m glad. How was it with Gabby?

Frankie:
Oh, we didn’t end up doing anything.

Kim:
Why?

Frankie:
I don’t know. You know.

Kim:
Yeah.

Frankie:
She wanted to go to some party and I’m not really into that.

Kim:
Does Gabby like things like that?

Frankie:
 25

I can’t tell sometimes whether she’s trying to like be part of this like thing or whether she
actually likes that stuff. I’m not even sure which I’d prefer.

Kim:
Well, she’s with you.

Frankie:
What do you mean?

Kim:
She couldn’t be all that hung up on what people thought of her and still date you.

Frankie:
Thanks, best friend.

Kim:
No! I mean, you’re a great guy and I know that and you know that and I’m sure she’s like
lucky to have you or whatever but you’re not exactly winning Student Body President.

Frankie:
Claire did.

Kim:
That’s so weird to me. It’s like our little island of misfit toys is all grown up.

Frankie:
Something like that. Hey! Do you have like a dress or something?

Kim:
Do you think I have a dress?

Frankie:
No, not like a Winter Formal dress just like anything.

Kim:
I don’t have a dress.

Frankie:
Okay. Does your Mom have one you can borrow?

Kim:
She has her wedding dress. Sometimes she takes it out and just sort of looks at it. It’s
kind of sad.

Frankie:
Great. Does your CD player have an audio jack?
 26

Kim:
Yeah, I think so.

Frankie:
Okay. Can you go get the dress?

Kim:
Sure. Just a sec.

She exits to her room and gets the dress,

while he fiddles with the CD player.

Frankie:
That’s fucking amazing.

It is.

Kim:
I’m not putting this on.

Frankie:
You have to! It’s great!

Kim:
I don’t want to change. It’s too late.

Frankie:
It’s not. We can still do this.

Kim:
Fine, I’ll put it on. But I’m putting it on over my flannel.

Frankie:
That’s a fair concession.

She struggles to put it on.

Frankie:
Yeah, like that. Just sort of…You got it.

Kim:
I look like a wedding cake.

Frankie:
You look great.
 27

Kim:
I look like I’m made out of frosting.

Frankie:
You look beautiful.

Kim:
I feel like a three-headed monster, with each of these sleeves being a head.

Frankie:
Really, really beautiful.

Kim:
I’m outnumbered by my sleeves.

Frankie:
Like, Cyndi Lauper beautiful.

Kim:
Don’t be a dick.

Frankie:
No, I’m serious. You’re like the kind of pretty that really dickish guys don’t notice until
you’re in a dress but the good guys who’ve been paying attention have always noticed,
you know?

Kim:
Doesn’t that make you the dickish kind?

Frankie:
No.

Kim:
Don’t do that. Dudes who hit on girls when they’re fully in relationships blow.

Frankie:
I’m not hitting on you! I’m just like…noting an aesthetic fact. And obviously we’re never
gonna date, like, it would be a total mess and also like you said, Gabby, I’m with Gabby,
and she’s so great. She’s nice, and pretty, and really great. So…

Kim:
I know.

Frankie:
Okay. I just think you look pretty. I mean, I can say that, right?
 28

Kim:
You can say that.

Frankie:
We’re young! We’re young and we’re healthy and we’re damn good looking kids.

Kim:
Yeah. We are.

Frankie:
May I have this dance?

Kim:
Sure.

He goes and puts on a song. They start

dancing, arms fully extended, middle school
style. Frankie dances like a dork.

Kim:
What is this?

Frankie:
You’ll see.

Kim:
Oh, no.

Frankie:
Oh yes!

It’s “Don’t You Forget About Me.”

Kim:
Go fuck yourself, Frankie.

Frankie:
You know you love it.

Kim:
No, I don’t.

Frankie:
Do you remember those nights we spent in my basement watching Breakfast Club over
and over again?
 29

Kim:
Of course I do.

Frankie:
We thought if we watched it enough we’d be totally ready for high school.

Kim:
It really wasn’t that bad.

Frankie:
You’re so wrong.
Pause.
Hey, don’t forget about me.

Kim:
Go fuck yourself.

Frankie:
I’m serious.

Kim:
No, you’re not.

Frankie:
No, you’re right. I’m not. But I sort of am.

They sing the chorus loudly. Scott enters.

Scott:
What the fuck is this?

Frankie:
What?

Kim:
Shit.

Kim turns off the music.

Scott:
Kimmie, what the fuck is this? What are you wearing?

Kim:
It’s a wedding dress.
 30

Scott:
Well, I can see that. What are you like, married now?

Kim:
What? No.

Frankie:
It’s the only dress she had.

Scott:
Hey, shut up, okay? She can talk for herself, she’s a smart girl. Way too smart for shit
like this. What is this, Kimmie?

Frankie:
It was my idea, Scott.

Scott:
What are you talking about “Scott.” You don’t know me, man, okay? You can’t just talk
to me like you know me or something.

Frankie:
I’m starting to get an idea.

Scott:
Well, shit, man, maybe this isn’t me in my best and brightest, okay? Cause maybe I just
came over to my girlfriend’s house to find her dancing with some other guy and he’s in a
tux and she’s in a fucking, like, wedding dress so I’m sort of upset, can you see that?

Frankie:
Yeah. I’m sorry.

Scott:
What, what do you mean you’re sorry.

Frankie:
I didn’t know you were coming over.

Scott:
That’s a bullshit apology, you know that right? That’s not an apology. That’s like “I’m
sorry if you were offended” level of total, like, bullshit, you know?

Frankie:
Look, I said I was sorry.

Kim:
Scott, lay off him, okay?
 31

Scott:
Hey, I don’t need you to tell me what to do. Get out of that fucking dress, okay?

Frankie:
Don’t get out of the dress, Kim.

Kim:
I’m just going to get out of the dress.

Scott:
Good girl.

Frankie:
Don’t let him tell you what to do! Don’t take it off!

Kim:
Okay! You have a huge dick! He has a huge dick! We all know you both have huge
dicks. Put ‘em back in your pants, okay? Besides, we all know I win. Me, and my giant
beer can cock win the cock contest. So back. The fuck. Down. Both of you. I’m taking
off the fucking dress. This isn’t fun anymore.

Frankie:
I’m sorry.

Kim:
Scott?

Scott:
Fuck that! What would have happened if I hadn’t come in?

Frankie:
There’s no point going into that. There’s no way we can know what would have
happened.

Kim:
What the fuck, Frankie! Nothing would have happened. We would have danced and
maybe talked and then you would have come in and said the exact same thing about what
if you hadn’t come in and I know that, you know that, and he knows that. Right?

Frankie:
Yeah. Totally.

Kim:
Can we not do this?
 32

Frankie:
Sure. Sorry.

Kim:
Don’t worry about it.

Scott:
Stop it! You and your fucking little code, just stop it. Who are you anyway? I haven’t
seen you in months and now suddenly you’re back here with your fucking little code?
Look, dude, I’m sorry my girlfriend doesn’t want to fuck you, but that’s between you and
the centerfold, compadre. You can get out.

Frankie:
I’m not leaving.

Scott:
Buddy, you have no idea what you’re getting into.

Frankie:
I know a lot more than you think I know.

Scott:
Is that true?

Frankie:
Yes.

Scott:
Kimmie?

Kim:
Fuck both of you.

Scott:
Is that true?

Kim:
No.

Scott:
Good.

Frankie:
What? What do you mean?

Kim:
 33

Frankie: Yes. You know a lot about me. Scott: Don’t worry. Both of you: Calm the fuck
down.

Gabby enters.

Gabby:
What the fuck is this?

Kim:
Are you kidding me?

Gabby:
No, I’m not, what is this?

Frankie:
Nothing, this isn’t anything.

Gabby:
I knew I’d find you here.

Frankie:
No, really, it’s nothing.

Scott:
Who is this?

Gabby:
I’m his girlfriend.

Scott:
Wait, what?

Frankie:
What?

Scott:
You have a girlfriend? Dude, that’s fucking gross. You’re gross, man.

Gabby:
What the fuck is going on here?

Frankie:
Nothing! Nothing happened!

Gabby:
Is that true?
 34

Frankie:
Yes.

Gabby:
Not you, asshole. Is that true?

Kim:
Yes.

Scott:
I can offer another perspective if that’d be helpful.

Gabby:
Franklin. I’m angry at you. This is an issue. We’re going to have a discussion and you
will be fucking lucky if you get to touch any of this in the next month. And I put on
fucking tubs of body butter this afternoon.

Scott:
Does anyone want to fuck you? It doesn’t look like it. Wow. That sucks. It’s Winter
Formal and two different girls don’t want to fuck you.

Kim:
Stop it! All of you! Stop!

Frankie:
Sorry.

Kim:
No. Stop. Don’t be sorry. Just. Stop. I’m going to get some ice.

Gabby:
What does she need ice for?

Scott:
The fridge. The fridge is broken so she needs ice to keep the food cool.

Frankie:
It doesn’t look broken.

Kim:
Well, it fucking is!

Kim rips the door off the mini-fridge.

Kim:
 35

Okay! The damn thing’s broken! I’m gonna get some ice now.

Ben enters, looks around.

Ben:
I can come back.

Kim:
Yeah, you do that.

He exits. She goes outside to get ice.

Scott:
You guys are dicks.

Gabby:
Is this funny to you?

Scott:
Yeah, it kind of is.

Kim comes back in.

Kim:
Where were we?

Scott:
Those two were screaming at each other and I was looking very reasonable by contrast.

Kim:
That should never be allowed to happen.

Claire enters.

Claire:
What the fuck is this?

Kim:
What! What the fuck do you want, Claire?

Claire:
It’s fucking freezing out there! I’m wearing nothing! We live in the goddamn mountains
and I’m wearing nothing and you didn’t give me the keys and your car is fucking cold
and you’re so focused on your stupid little ménage-a-weird that you totally forgot that
I’m sitting if your little ice box car freezing my ass off and I’m upset! And everyone
keeps forgetting about me and I looked way better than all you bitches and no-one asked
 36

to dance with me and I’m smart and funny and damn good looking and I’m sick of all this
shit! This ends now! You are all going to start paying attention to me! My nipples are like
a fucking witch tit! Give me the keys, or I will fucking scream!

Kim:
Give her the goddamn keys, Gabby.

Gabby:
Here.

She gives her the keys.

Claire:
Okay. It’s just, I worked hard on tonight, okay? I’m sorry your little sex triangle is a bad
fucking idea but my decorations were the shit. I had five disco balls. It was like a fucking
underwater kingdom. You motherfuckers looked like motherfucking mermaids, okay? So
you’re welcome, bitches.

Gabby:
You had great decorations, Claire.

Claire:
Thank you.

Scott:
Not really the issue here.

Claire:
Man, fuck this. We used to be friends. And then we fucked it up.

Gabby:
Kim fucked it up.

Kim:
Whatever, Gabby, you weren’t even part of it when we fucked it up, so you can just stay
out of this.

Gabby:
No, I can’t, I’m dating this!

Frankie:
Still? Great.

Gabby:
Thin, fucking rope, Frankie. Let’s get out of here. We are going to have a serious and
unpleasant conversation.
 37

Claire:
You guys are my ride!

Gabby:
After we drop off Claire.

Gabby, Claire, and Frankie exit.

Scott:
Good luck, little man!

They’re gone.

Scott:
Still want to go on our date?

Kim:
Sure. Why not.
 38

Scene 4:

Ben enters the darkened room. The fridge

door has been re-attached. Ben crosses to
it, opens the door, it falls off. He look
around, slinks out of the room.
 39

Scene 5:

Kim and Scott Enter.

Kim:
Hey, thanks for that.

Scott:
No problem. You really never done that before?

Kim:
I’m afraid of heights.

Scott:
Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.

Kim:
It’s fine. It’s just anytime I’m high up I think about when I was little and Mom took my
to the Grand Canyon and we’d go over to the rim and she’d make me stand on the edge
and look all the way down to the bottom and then she’d like sort of push me but in this
way where she never actually let go. Or else she’d sort of dangle me over the edge while
some guy she was with took pictures. It’s stupid.

Scott:
I’m sorry.

Kim:
Don’t worry about it. I’m trying to move on from stuff like that.

Scott:
That’s probably for the best. You liked the water tower though?

Kim:
Yeah. It was peaceful. I just sort of needed some time. A little bit of peace and quiet.
Thanks.

Scott:
No problem. I want to be that for you.

Kim:
Good. Hey, I’m going to go put some more ice in the tub with Mom okay?

Scott:
Sure.
 40

Kim gets ice, brings it to her room, re-

enters.

Scott:
So, what do you think?

Kim:
What do you mean?

Scott:
Aw, come on, don’t do that.

Kim:
What?

Scott:
Don’t play like that. I get tired. I mean, I know you like to sort of string me along but
sometimes I think you actually might not want to.

Kim:
Oh, not now, Scott.

Scott:
What?

Kim:
Um, the sight of my mother’s bloated corpse is kind of a boner killer?

Scott:
So what, you want me wait like two weeks?

Kim:
I promise it won’t kill you.

Scott:
It’s been a long time already.

Kim:
I know. I’m on my period.

Scott:
You were on your period two weeks ago.

Kim:
You keep track of that?
 41

Scott:
Yeah.

Kim:
That’s normal.

Scott:
It’s pragmatic.

Kim:
It’s cute when you learn a new word.

Scott:
Don’t make fun of me.

Kim:
I’m sorry.

Scott:
So what do you say?

Kim:
Not tonight.

Scott:
Not tonight? It’s Winter Formal! What could me more romantic?

Kim:
We didn’t go to Winter Formal.

Scott:
Still though.

Kim:
Sorry.

Scott:
Okay. See you.

Kim:
Bye.

They kiss. He starts to go, then turns

around.

Scott:
 42

Wait. No! Fuck that, Kimmie! You were dancing with some other guy and I know you
guys had some sort of thing.

Kim:
We never had a thing.

Scott:
Still though! He totally wants you, anyone can tell and he’s all over you and being all
nerdy and trying to be cute or charming or whatever and I see that and I’ll admit I was a
little upset at first but I forgave you and I took you out for a nice time by the water tower
and I feel like you’re taking me for granted. You may think he’s like all unthreatening but
that’s how they get you, man, because if I say anything about Poindexter over there I look
like an asshole.

Kim:
He’s my friend. You need to calm down. I have other friends, some of whom have
penises. That does not necessarily mean I am friends with their penises.

Scott:
I get that. But when I saw him dancing with you, I saw his eyes. How he looked at you.
Like he knew everything a person could know about you.

Kim:
We’ve been friends for a really long time.

Scott:
I know that. That’s not what I’m talking about. And he’s no good for you anyway. He
doesn’t see you for months, and then he shows up and it’s obvious that things with him
and what’s her name are pretty shitty so he’s looking for a rebound. He wants to feel like
he’s some 18-year-old stud and so he’s looking for something.

Kim:
Have you ever thought it’s possible that he just likes me as a friend?

Scott:
No.

Kim:
Guys can have friends that are girls.

Scott:
Not guys like that.

Kim:
What about Claire?
 43

Scott:
Maybe he wants to fuck her too! I don’t know!

Kim:
You’re being paranoid.

Scott:
Am I?

Kim:
Yes.

Scott:
But, am I?

Kim:
You’re wrong. You’re so fucking wrong!

Scott:
Don’t talk down to me, Kimmie! Dammit! I know you’re so smart. I like how smart you
are, but you don’t know guys like I do! I know that fucked up mentality because I have
that fucked up mentality! I’m like Dexter with this shit.

Kim:
Jesus Christ, can you not do this?

Scott:
All right. Sorry. Hey, look, I’m sorry. Can I get a hug?

Kim:
Okay.

They hug.

Scott:
I got you, baby. I got you.

Kim:
Thanks.

Scott:
It’s okay. It’s okay. I got you.

Kim:
Don’t ever leave, okay?
 44

Scott:
Not without you, baby.

Kim:
No, I mean it. I don’t want to leave, but I want to be with you.

Scott:
You mean you don’t want to leave Prescott?

Kim:
Yeah. I’m sorry. It’s just with everybody going off to college and all. I don’t know.
Maybe after this summer.

Scott:
You know what? You’re tired. And stressed out. And you’re not thinking clearly. So
we’re just going to pretend you didn’t say that and talk in the morning. Kay?

Kim:
Kay.

Scott:
Are you really on your period?

Kim:
No.

Scott:
Cool. So…

Kim:
Oh, not tonight. Sorry.

Scott:
Why not? You’ll feel better.

Kim:
I’m tired.

Scott:
Would you do it if you weren’t tired?

Kim:
Yeah, sure, I guess.

Scott:
Good! Then here, drink this.
 45

He crosses over to the coffee pot.

Kim:
What?

Scott:
Drink it, babe.

Kim:
No.

Scott:
Why not? If you’re so tired, just drink the coffee and we’ll be good to go.

Kim:
Scott, don’t be a dick.

Scott:
I’m not! I’m just trying to look at the problem and come up with an effective solution.
You’re tired. Drink some coffee.

Kim:
It’s like a day old.

Scott:
It’s the best we’ve got, Kimmie.

Kim:
We don’t have any clean cups.

Scott:
Just use the pot then, babe.

Kim:
I don’t want to do this.

Scott:
Tough cookies, babycakes.

Kim:
If I do this will you stop acting like this?

Scott:
We’ll see, babe.
 46

Kim:
You’re being an asshole.

Scott:
Drink the damn coffee.

Kim:
Fine.

She takes a drink.

There. Are you happy?

Scott:
Nope. You said you’re tired. You’re so tired you forgot how good I am to you. More than
that, you forgot what I could do to you if I wanted to.

Kim:
Is that like an ultimatum?

Scott:
It’s a fact, babe. You got a rotting body in your washtub. Now, I go to the cops with a tip
like that, what do you think’s gonna happen? All those people down in Phoenix would
shake their heads and say “What is it about those folks up north? How could a person do
a thing like that? And to her own mother. It’s probably all the meth.” And they’d go back
to their coffee and forget all about it.

Kim:
I didn’t kill my mother.

Scott:
You sure didn’t try that hard to keep her alive. And how are you gonna explain hiding the
body for two weeks? It’s not just your word against mine. It’s that plus I got facts on my
side. I got a moldy, waterlogged body tipping the scales of justice toward my way.

Kim:
You’re a terrible person.

Scott:
And what are you, Kimmie? Yeah, you didn’t kill her. But how many times, how many
fights, could have turned out bad? How many times if you’d been stronger, or had better
leverage, or surprise, could you have come out on top, with your Mom lying there dead?

Kim:
I would never surprise her. She always hit first.
 47

Scott:
Drink the damn coffee, Kimmie!

Kim:
Fine.

She drinks again.

Scott:
Whole thing, babe. Drink that whole damn thing.

Kim:
Fine.

She drinks a lot.

Kim:
I can’t do it. I can’t drink anymore.

Scott:
Push through it, babe. I believe in you.

Kim:
I hate you.

She drinks the rest of it.

Kim:
Fuck. That’s really some shitty coffee.

Scott:
That one’s on you, baby.

Kim:
I hate you.

Scott:
Okay. Not so tired anymore, are you honey? A-31 is free. Get the damn keys.

She gets the keys, they exit together.

 48

Scene 6:

Kim stands behind the counter.

Frankie enters.

Frankie:
We’re done.

Kim:
What? We’re not a thing.

Frankie:
No, me and Gabby.

Kim:
Like, done for the night? Like done talking?

Frankie:
What? No. We’re like done. We’re not a thing anymore.

Kim:
Why?

Frankie:
What?

Kim:
What happened?

Frankie:
So she was like yelling at me for having danced with you and I told her you were my
friend and I wasn’t going to just stop being friends with you and she said I had to choose
like between her and you and I said you. I said I didn’t want to be with someone who
would make me give up my best friend.

Kim:
Wow.

Frankie:
Yeah! Isn’t that great!

Kim:
Yeah, sure.

Frankie:
I chose you, Kimmie.
 49

Kim:
You don’t call me Kimmie.

Frankie:
You’re not happy. Why aren’t you happy? I chose you, Kim. She wanted me to choose
and so I chose you!

Kim:
Why did you do that?

Frankie:
If I have to choose between her and you I want you.

Kim:
Okay.

Frankie:
Hell, if I don’t have to choose between her and you I want you. I want you. I mean, not
like that just like. I want to be with you. I want to be with you.

Kim:
Oh, Frankie.

Frankie:
What do you mean? Like you haven’t thought about it.

Kim:
No, I have.

Frankie:
Then you know how great it would be, right? I mean, think of all the fun we’ve had.
Hikes. We’ve gone on lots of hikes. And the conversations we’ve had. It’d be just like it
used to be, except we’d be kissing more.

Kim:
I don’t know.

Frankie:
I’m a good kisser.

Kim:
I’m sure you are.

Frankie:
I am. I could get like references or something. Letters of recommendation.
 50

Kim:
Okay.

Frankie:
That’d be weird. I was joking. I know that’d be weird. What’s wrong, Kim? What’s
going on?

Kim:
I’m leaving.

Frankie:
What? No, let’s talk.

Kim:
No, not like now. Like I’m leaving. I’m moving away. I turn 18 in two weeks and I’m
leaving. I’m going to go to away with Scott and we’re going to live together. In two
weeks.

Frankie:
What?

Kim:
I’m sorry.

Frankie:
Wait wait wait, what? Why didn’t you tell me this before?

Kim:
I’m sorry.

Frankie:
Wait, so I just like…what? No, you’re leaving? You’re not leaving, Kim. Please tell me
you’re not leaving.

Kim:
I can’t tell you that, Frank! I can’t keep living in this place. It’s like, I don’t know, it’s
like I’m in a mine shaft or something. I get so damn scrunched up in this place. You
know what I mean, you’re leaving too.

Frankie:
Yeah, but not like now.

Kim:
In September.
 51

Frankie:
August.

Kim:
August then. So what was your plan, Frankie? You tell me you love me and you want to
be with me and we have like eight months months where we pretend this is like a real
thing and then you leave and we pretend it would have worked out? I don’t want to do
that. I’m not willing to be your last hurrah.

Frankie:
I just…I just want to feel like a teenager again. It’s been so long since I’ve felt like that. I
mean, with college coming up and everything with Gabby and everything it’s just like I
haven’t had time to like step back and breathe or identify with Bruce Springsteen songs
or anything and I think we could be that for each other.

Kim:
Frankie, that’s not me. That’s not my life. I don’t go to high school or sit on the hoods of
cars so I’m not really a teenager and I don’t want to pretend I am just to make you happy
or whatever.

Frankie:
So, what, that’s it?

Kim:
We can still be friends.

Frankie:
That’s such a line. I can’t believe you’d use a line on me. What, next you’re going to say
it’s like not me it’s you and that you think I have a really great personality or some shit
like that because I am so sick of shit like that.

Kim:
I’m sorry.

Frankie:
Jesus, Kim. I thought you’d think this was nice, or romantic or something. I thought I
could make you happy. I just want to make you happy.

Kim:
I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?

Frankie:
You can stay here.

Kim:
Other than that.
 52

Frankie:
You can dance with me.

Kim:
Okay. One dance.

Frankie:
Okay.

They begin to dance.

Frankie:
You’re shaking. Are you cold?

Kim:
No, I’m fine.

Frankie:
Is it like a lady thing?

Kim:
What?

Frankie:
I don’t know, sometimes people shake. Like when they’re in situations where like. You
know.

Kim:
No, it just, I drank a lot of coffee.

Frankie:
Okay. You don’t drink coffee.

Kim:
Scott made me.

Frankie:
What do you mean, he made you?

Kim:
I was tired.

Frankie:
That’s not okay!
 53

Kim:
No, he’s good to me.

Frankie:
Does he hurt you?

Kim:
Everyone fights.

Frankie:
That’s not the answer I was hoping for.

Kim:
Frankie, I’m fine, I don’t need you to be my white knight or whatever.

Frankie:
Kim, you’re still a minor. If he hurts you, he could go away for a very, very long time.

Kim:
Can you just dance with me?

They dance.

Frankie:
This is nice.

Kim:
Yeah. Don’t leave, okay?

Frankie:
What?

Kim:
Don’t.

Frankie:
Okay. Sure. Okay.

He kisses her.

Kim:
Shit.

Frankie:
What?
 54

Kim:
I didn’t mean to say that. I’m tired. I just want this to stay like this.

Frankie:
Nothing ever just stays how you want it to.

Kim:
I know.

Frankie tries to kiss her.

Kim:
Shit. Shit shit shit. You should go.

Frankie:
What?

Kim:
I’m not making good decisions. I’m making bad decisions and you should leave.

Frankie:
Good bad decisions?

Kim:
No. I’m serious. I’m sorry.

Frankie:
Okay.

He kisses her again, this time longer.

Kim:
No. No.

She goes to the door to her room.

Kim:
You like really have to go.

She exits, closes the door.

Frankie:
Kim, I’m sorry. Kim! Open up, Kim. Look, I’m really sorry. Kim!

He pushes on the door.

 55

Look, can we just talk for a while?

He pushes harder.

Kim! Kim! Kim, open up!

He pushes even harder, breaking open the

door.

What? What is this, Kim?

Kim pushes him into the main room. She
follows him out.

Kim:
Why didn’t you just leave?

Frankie:
What is this, Kim? What the fuck is this?

Kim:
It’s not what you think.

Frankie:
Really? Cause I think your Mom’s dead body is covered in ice cubes in your tub!

Kim:
Okay, it’s pretty much what you think. But it’s not bad. I mean, it’s not like my fault.

Frankie:
What the fuck is going on here, Kim!

Kim:
She died, and I knew if they found out before I turned 18 they would take the motel
because minors can’t own businesses, and who knows what they’d do to me? Probably
send me to some half-way home or foster home and I do not want to go to a place like
that because minors in this country have no rights at all basically, but if they didn’t find
her until I turned 18 I could have the motel and I could sell it or keep it or even just burn
it down and get the insurance, I mean, it’s got a lot of fire code stuff already so they’d
believe that and some people have things against Scott so it’s plausible that someone
would do something like that and then it would all be fine. I’d have money, and I could
leave with Scott. I mean, we were fighting and she used to have these like attacks, and
she had one and she just fell over. I went over to check if she was okay and she wasn’t
okay she was dead which is like you know the opposite of okay. She was all limp at first.
I didn’t know what to do but I saw in like movies stuff like this. I dragged her over to the
bath tub and put her in. I filled it with ice from the ice machine. The ice kept melting so I
had to keep draining out the water and putting in more ice. Then the smell started. She
 56

got all bloated and gross. I turned on the fan to get the smell out, but it kept coming back.
She got all waxy. She looked like she was covered in like a layer of cheese like when you
leave out nachos. She turned colors. Grey and black and purple. She was my mom. I
thought I would wait until a couple weeks after my birthday then drive her out of town
and dump her in a river. Report her missing. They’d find her and she’d be water logged
and frozen and they’d just assume it was because of the river. I’d get to keep this place
and I could do whatever I wanted with it. We’d all be happy.

Frankie:
That’s insane. That’s an insane thing you just said. You get that that’s insane, right?

Kim:
Is it?

Frankie:
Yes. Absolutely. Is that how you really think that would work?

Kim:
Frankie, you haven’t had to deal with the government, you don’t know how they are, but
they are greedy, incompetent fuckers, and once they get their mitts on something they’ll
never let go.

Frankie:
Who told you that?

Kim:
Scott.

Frankie:
Jesus, Kim, Scott? Don’t you see what he’s trying to do? He’s trying to make you wait
until you’re 18 so that he can leave with you without going to jail!

Kim:
He loves me.

Frankie:
Did he tell you that too? Maybe he’s waiting until you’re 18 so he can marry you and
then he owns the motel!

Kim:
He wouldn’t do that!

Frankie:
Are you sure? He already lied to you!

Kim:
 57

No, he knows about the law because he’s been to prison a couple of times and the only
books they have up there are law books. Aw, fuck, do I sound crazy?

Frankie:
Yes.

Kim:
You can’t tell anyone.

Frankie:
I don’t know if I can promise that, Kim.

Kim:
I love you.

Frankie:
What? You do?

Kim:
I’ve always loved you.

Frankie:
I’ve always loved you. Why didn’t you say something?

Kim:
I got scared.

Frankie:
It’s okay to get scared.

Kim:
Are you scared?

Frankie:
No.

Kim:
Do you trust me?

Frankie:
Yes. Yes. Yes. I do. I’m sorry. I do.

Kim:
Good. Just a second.

She exits, comes back with a clothesline.

 58

Frankie:
What’s this?

Kim:
It’s a clothesline.

She kisses him.

Frankie:
Oh, honey.

Kim:
Hush. Hush. It’s going to be okay, baby.

Frankie:
Okay. I trust you.

Kim:
Be quiet. Be quiet.

She kisses him again, pushing him into a

chair.

Frankie:
What’s going on?

Kim:
I’m just going to tie you down real quick.

Frankie:
Okay, I could get into this. Then what?

Kim:
Then we’ll go away, baby.

Frankie:
Me and you?

Kim:
Of course. Me and you. Me and you, honey.

She kisses him. On his lips. His neck. His

arms. As she does so, she ties him tight to
the chair. Scott enters.
 59

Scott:
Um. Hi. Um. What is this? What the fuck is this?

Kim:
Nothing?

Scott:
Is this a sex thing? This is like a weird sex thing, isn’t it?

Kim:
No, it’s not.

Frankie:
It’s not?

Scott:
Okay. Then what the fuck is this?

Kim:
He found out.

Scott:
About what?

Kim:
About everything.

Scott:
So he does know.

Kim:
Now he does.

Scott:
Shit.

Frankie:
So you knew?

Scott:
What? Of course I knew. We are going to use my truck to dump her.

Frankie:
Why’d you tell him?

Kim:
 60

He’s my boyfriend.

Scott:
You hear that?

Frankie:
Hey, I’m sorry, buddy, but it looks like I win here.

Scott:
How do you figure? You’re tied to a chair. That’s like, you don’t win. People tied to
chairs don’t go around saying they win. Kim, what is he talking about?

Kim:
Nothing.

Frankie:
Tell him.

Kim:
Nothing!

Frankie:
Really?

Kim:
Yes.

Scott:
Are you fucking with me?

Kim:
No.

Scott:
What the fuck is going on? Why is he here? Did he like kiss you? Are you like in love or
something?

Kim:
No.

Frankie:
Yes, we are!

Kim:
Shut up, Frankie!
 61

Scott:
What is this, Kim? We’re leaving in two weeks! Are you bailing on me?

Kim:
No.

Frankie:
Why are you doing this?

Scott:
Okay, cause if you think there’s a thing with you two, just know that there isn’t, and if
there was, if you two were like kissing or fucking or whatever like whatever it is you two
did it’s okay, I forgive you, cause you’re scared, and weird shit is happening, and I get
that but I swear, this shit stops right fucking now, you hear me? Because you know that
his life will never include hiding bodies, and he’s not willing to change it for you. So I
don’t need to know if you kissed her or if she kissed you or whatever.

Frankie:
She did.

Kim:
Shut up, Frankie.

Frankie:
She did. She kissed me. I kissed her.

Scott:
I swear to God, walk away from this. You can walk away from this fine, I won’t do
anything.

Frankie:
She kissed me good. She meant it. She said she loved me.

Scott:
Alright, that’s it.

He lunges at him, Kim jumps in the middle

and topples Scott.

Kim:
No!

Scott gets up.

Scott:
What the fuck, babe! You’re defending him?
 62

Kim:
Don’t touch him! You don’t get to touch him okay?

Scott:
I’m calling the cops.

Kim:
Not if I call them first.

Scott moves a hand toward the phone on the

desk. Kim follows. Pause. Both of them rush
at it, it falls to the floor. Scott jumps on it.

Scott:
Shit. It’s broken.

Ben walks in.

Ben:
Damn.

Kim:
Shit.

Ben:
I can come back.

Kim:
No, you can’t. We have to tie you up at least until we know you won’t tell.

Ben:
I promise?

Kim:
Sorry.

Ben:
You guys think you’re the only one with problems? Well, you’re not! My wife and I fight
like every week! And we never have sex! My kids don’t do anything impressive. I mean,
they’re like four, but you can tell. They’re going to grow up to be entitled little shits. I
told my wife I was at a conference, but I’m not! Who the fuck puts a conference in
Prescott! I just had to get out!

Scott:
Does he know?
 63

Kim:
What? I don’t think so.

Ben:
I know about all your little secrets. I pay attention.

Kim:
What specifically do you know?

Ben:
I know you don’t love the older one over there and that you’ve been together anyway and
that he wants to leave but you actually don’t because you’re too scared to grow up or
something and so is the other one, and so he’s trying to like date you or just fuck you or
something so he can feel like a kid and forget that he’s growing up and you’re all just
pathetic! Life happens to you. Deal with it!

Kim:
So, that’s all you know?

Ben:
Is there anything else?

Frankie:
Well, there’s the…

Kim:
Don’t you dare.

Frankie:
Okay. Am I an accomplice?

Kim:
What? No.

Frankie:
I think I might be. If I don’t tell, that means I’m covering it up which means I’m an
accomplice! Oh, shit. I’m an accomplice.

Scott:
You aren’t an accomplice. You’re not anything. You’re just a guy.

Frankie:
No, I am. I totally am.

Scott:
 64

Shut up! Okay?

Frankie:
Kim, I can’t do this. I don’t know how you can do this, but I just can’t. I’m sorry. I’m
really sorry.

Kim:
It’s okay.

Frankie:
I still love you.

Kim:
I know. I know you do.

Scott:
Fuck this. I’m leaving.

Kim:
Are you going to…

Scott:
No. I’m not going to call the police. I wouldn’t do that. I’ll be back tomorrow when
you’ve had enough time to realize how bad you fucked up.

Scott exits.

Frankie:
Can you untie me now?
 65

Scene 7:

Kim enters from her room, turns on the

coffee machine, flips the sign to “Open”.
Ben enters with his suitcase.

Ben:
Hey.

Kim:
Oh! Hey.

Ben:
I think I’m going to check out.

Kim:
Kay. I can’t say I blame you.

Ben:
Sure. Last night was…

Kim:
Yeah.

Ben:
Crazy.

Kim:
Yeah.

Ben:
What are you going to do?

Kim:
I don’t know.

Ben:
What do you want to do?

Kim:
That’s the thing, I really don’t know. I don’t want to stay here, but I’m not sure I could
bear to leave. And I wouldn’t know how to without Scott. I think I might’ve burned that
bridge already.

Ben:
He would forgive you.
 66

Kim:
I know.

Ben:
But that doesn’t make your decision any easier, does it?

Kim:
No. Can I go with you?

Ben:
No.

Kim:
That was a joke.

Ben:
I know. No one can tell you what to do now. No one can decide what your life is going to
be except you.

Kim:
I know.

Ben:
I wanted to be an actor.

Kim:
Really?

Ben:
Sure. I was going to move to LA, get an agent, live in a studio with four other guys, the
whole thing.

Kim:
What happened?

Ben:
I met a girl.

Kim:
Are you happy?

Ben:
Me? No. But you have to decide what really matters and go for that. I thought it was her,
but I was wrong.
 67

Kim:
How do you know?

Ben:
You don’t. And that’s the thing. People are going to tell you that it’s going to be okay
either way. But that’s just a way of making a decision not seem like a decision. Life
matters. You matter. One decision will make you happier than the other. But that does not
mean it will make you happy. Life is hard. It will be hard either way, and so if you look
at your life and it’s hard that doesn’t mean you chose wrong. It just means you chose.

Kim:
That sucks.

Ben:
That’s life. I hope that didn’t come off as just like really sad and condescending. I feel
like it’s something I would have liked someone to have told me.

Kim:
That no matter what it won’t turn out alright?

Ben:
Something like that. Well, I’m off.

Kim:
You still owe 35 dollars for the night.

Ben:
I’m not going to pay that.

Kim:
Sure.

Ben exits, Scott enters.

Scott:
Hey.

Kim:
Hey.

Scott:
Can we skip the part where we pretend we would have done anything differently?

Kim:
Sure.
 68

Scott:
I don’t want you to worry about me.

Kim:
I don’t. You’re a big boy.

Scott:
I don’t mean like that. I just mean don’t worry about what I might say or do or demand
from you. I’m not that kind of guy. I’m going to get out of your hair, and you’ll never
have to see me again if you don’t want to.

Kim:
Okay.

Scott:
I want to make you come with me. I want to, and I know I could, but I’m not going to.

Kim:
You’re still leaving?

Scott:
There’s nothing for me here.

Kim:
Thanks.

Scott:
I’m too tired to argue with that.

Kim:
Sorry.

Scott:
I guess you get to an age when you think you might spend the rest of your life how you
spent the first part, and you look back on what it was like to be young and stupid and in
love and you miss it. You miss it like you’d miss your own goddamn leg or something. I
don’t miss it when I’m with you.

Kim:
I’m not willing to be your like midlife crisis or whatever.

Scott:
I’m 23. I don’t think I’m going to die when I’m 46.

Kim:
My mom did.
 69

Scott:
Yeah, I should have thought that one through.

Kim:
It’s okay.

Scott:
So, what are you gonna do?

Kim:
I guess I’ll stay here. I mean, I used to think I didn’t have anything here worth having,
but I do. I have this place. I know how to run a motel, and I’ll do it well and build a life
for myself and maybe provide a service people can enjoy or at least use. Maybe eke out a
little dignity, a little grace out here.

Scott:
Okay. What if you didn’t have it?

Kim:
I don’t know. I’d probably try to go with you.

Scott:
Okay.

Kim:
Hey, listen. I think I’m going to close up for a while, get some sleep.

Scott:
Hey, sorry about that.

Kim:
It’s not okay, but don’t worry about it.

Scott:
Okay. Bye.

Kim:
Bye.

She flips the sign to “closed.” They both

exit. After a while, Scott comes back with a
gasoline canister. He pours gasoline over
the counter, on the floor. He takes papers
out of the desk and douses them. Kim comes
back in.
 70

Kim:
What is this? What the fuck is this, Scott!

Scott:
Nothing.

Kim:
Bullshit. Bullshit! What the…what are you…no. No. No! Why would you do that! Why
would you do that!

Scott:
I would have got you out!

Kim:
What? What? What are you…Why would you do that! Why would you do that!

Scott:
Calm down, Kim, calm down.

Kim:
I can’t I can’t I can’t I mean what the fuck! What is going on here!

Scott:
It’s just like we planned.

Kim:
No. No. No. It’s not…I never…No! Don’t you do that to me! Don’t you say that to me!

Scott:
I waited for you! I waited months for you to come around, and I’m not leaving here
without you!

Kim:
What are you…

Scott:
We can use the money. The insurance money. We can set up a little place for us. You
said you wanted a place. We can have a place. We can even set up a motel if that’s what
you want. We can do whatever you want, honey.

Kim:
What? What?

Scott:
 71

You’re free, Kim! You don’t want this, I know you don’t. You don’t want to live here.
You’re scared, and you want someone else to do what you won’t do. I’ll do it. I’ll light
the match, I’ll burn it down, I’ll even do all the driving, I’ll handle paper work or
whatever you just have to say the word.

Kim:
What?

Scott:
You’re free.

Kim:
No! No! No! What are you…do you think this is all you need? Do you think I’ll love you
now or…I’m not coming with you! I’m not coming with you!

Scott:
Baby, you really think nobody’s gonna find the body?

Kim:
I’ll put it in the river. I’ll call it in.

Scott:
How you gonna do that, baby?

Kim:
I’ll get a dolly I’ll get a fucking U-Haul!

Scott:
They’ll know! They’ll find the body and they’ll know you hid her!

Kim:
She hit me first!

Scott:
What?

Kim:
Shit. Shit shit shit shit.

Scott:
What are you saying, Kim?

Kim:
I didn’t mean to!

Scott:
 72

So you lied, Kim! You lied to me! You said it was an attack, Kim!

Kim:
No, please, please, please…

Scott:
Kim, we gotta go. We gotta get out of here!

Kim:
I didn’t mean to! It was an accident! She started hitting me and I was holding this bag of
ice and I swung it at her head and she went down, she hit the floor, it was so easy, it was
so easy but I didn’t mean to do it!

Scott:
Then why’d you hide the body, Kim?

Kim:
I didn’t want them to take everything away. Please. You have to understand.

Scott:
It’s just a motel!

Kim:
No! This is my home, Scottie!

Scott:
Now, hear me out. We can get out of this. We can set the place on fire, collect the money,
just like we talked about.

Kim:
No no no no you don’t get to say that you don’t get to say that to me!

Scott:
Baby, listen to me.

Kim:
Get out! You get out of here!

Scott:
Listen to me!

Kim:
This is all I’ve got! This is it!

Scott:
You need to calm down!
 73

Kim:
Get out! You get outta my house!

Scott:
Okay. Okay. But I’m leaving my lighter.

He sets it on the counter. Kim crosses to the

table, takes the phone.

Kim:
Get out. You are on my property and I want you to leave so you will get out or I will call
the police. I swear to God I will put you away.

Scott:
Kim…

Kim:
I am not fucking around here.

Scott:
Kim, it’s broken. The phone is broken.

Kim:
I’ll scream. Someone will come for me.

Scott:
Dammit! Hear me out here! We love each other! We were going to go away together!

Kim:
We were never going to go away together!

Scott:
What?

Kim:
Go fuck yourself.

Scott:
Don’t do that to me.

Kim:
You tried to burn down my home! You tried to destroy my home.

Scott:
It’s just a place, babe. It’s just a place. She’s gone.
 74

Kim:
Go fuck yourself. I am not fucking around. I will scream so fucking loud.

Scott:
Okay. Okay. I’m leaving. I’m leaving.

He backs away slowly. He exits. Kim looks

after him. She slowly picks up the lighter.
Flicks it on and off several times. She is
transfixed by the tiny flame. She flicks the
lighter on for a long time. Then, off.

END OF PLAY