YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
In the complicated Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our
society we live in today, many families don’t
realize they share similar pain, anger, anxiety,
shame, self-pity, and fear caused by their concern
about the disruptive, destructive behavior of a
loved one involved with substance abuse or
related behavioral problems. Although just one
person in the family may be using drugs, the
problem rapidly expands to include the entire
family in “a kind of madness,” often called
codependency.
We at Families Anonymous™ (FA™) have found
a safe haven where we can share our problems
with others who understand. The details of our
personal stories may differ, but our feelings and
heartbreak are the same. In FA we learn to
recognize the roles we play in our families—and
how these roles aggravate our situations, making
them worse. We learn how to change ourselves; in
doing so, we achieve serenity in spite of turmoil.
WHAT IS FAMILIES ANONYMOUS? FA
is a Twelve Step self-help fellowship based on the
adaptation of the Twelve Steps and the Twelve
Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. We who
belong to FA are family members and friends
concerned about our loved ones who are involved
in substance abuse.
FA began in the early 1970s and has become an
international fellowship that helps people who
suffer the fallout of substance abuse in their
homes and families.
IS FAMILIES ANONYMOUS A RELI-
GIOUS PROGRAM? No! Although FA has a
spiritual basis formed on the principles of the
Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, this does
not make us a religious program. Each member’s
belief (or lack of belief) in a Higher Power is
personal and private.
and hope in support of each other. Newcomers are
program. First names only are used. We avoid
rendering opinions on outside issues; we do not
participate in public action groups; and we do not
lend our name to any outside enterprise. These
parameters allow us to stay focused on our
recovery and keep principles above personalities.
ARE THERE REQUIREMENTS FOR
MEMBERSHIP IN FA? FA welcomes anyone
concerned about a loved one who is, was, or is
suspected of being involved with drugs or alcohol.
There are no dues, fees, or other obligations for
membership.
Each FA group is self-supporting through
voluntary contributions received at each meeting.
FA groups pay their own rent, buy FA literature,
and provide their own refreshments. Groups also
make donations to the World Service Office to
support the FA fellowship.
WHAT CAN I EXPECT AT MEETINGS?
FA groups hold regularly scheduled meetings,
and leadership is rotated among the members.
Some meetings focus primarily on the Twelve
Steps, with the group studying a single Step each
week, each month, or for several weeks in
succession. Other meetings explore FA’s Twelve
Traditions, a framework of guidelines that define
our groups and help keep them strong and healthy.
Still others focus on a topic selected by the
meeting’s leader: a key word or slogan (such as
expectations, enabling, control, or one day at a
time); or a page from FA’s book of daily readings,
Today A Better Way™; or excerpts from other FA
literature pieces that contain the wisdom of
longtime members.
Using the meeting’s focal point, and always being
guided by the principles of the FA program, we
take turns discussing our experiences, strength,
welcome to just sit and listen; or they may speak,
if they wish, asking questions about the program
or sharing their concerns and struggles that have
brought them to FA.
HOW CAN I FIND A MEETING? Simply
look on the FA website (under “Find a Meeting”
or “Virtual Meetings”), or call or email the World
Service Office (WSO) (see the contact informa-
tion on the back panel of this pamphlet). Choose
the meetings that are best for you:
Attend a TRADITIONAL MEETING. Face-to-
face meetings are the original (and still the most
common) type of FA meeting. Many groups that
have traditionally been meeting face-to-face are
also adding web-based components, so members
can choose to attend remotely rather than in
person. More than 400 face-to-face meetings are
held weekly in the United States and at least a
dozen other countries. (Interested in starting a
new group in your area? Find information on the
FA website, or contact the WSO.)
Attend the MEETING WITHOUT WALLS.
This real-time, online, voice meeting follows the
format of our traditional, face-to-face meetings.
To participate, you need an Internet connection, a
microphone, and speakers. Simply download the
free software from the FA website, install it, and
you’ll be ready to go.
Attend the E-MEETING. This email-based
discussion group is the largest and most active in
the fellowship. It has more than 500 members
from all over the world and is available 24 hours
a day, 7 days a week.
Attend the PHONE MEETING. Anyone with a
telephone can dial in to this meeting. Connecting
with your fellow FA members can’t get much
simpler than this!
HOW DOES FA HELP A MEMBER? At our
meetings, we share our successes and struggles.
By telling our stories and listening to those of
others, we gain strength, hope, and courage to try
new ideas and new ways of coping with our own
situations. Each person “recovers” at his or her
own pace and, in turn, encourages others to
persevere in their own situations.
Our focus in FA is on changing ourselves, not
others; on changing our words, feelings, attitudes,
actions, and reactions. When we change our-
selves, serenity can enter our lives in spite of
unsolved problems. Often the changes we make in
ourselves provide opportunities for our addicted
loved ones to also choose recovery for
themselves.
~~~~~~~~
DO YOU NEED FAMILIES
ANONYMOUS???
A Questionnaire for
Concerned Family Members and Friends
To answer the question above, ask yourself the
following questions, and answer them as honestly as
you can. Fill in each blank with the name of the person
who is causing you concern.
YES NO
1. Do you lie awake worrying about ____?
2. Do you feel frustrated in your attempts
to control ____?
3. Do you disapprove of ____’s lifestyle?
4. Do you argue with ____ about his or her
friends?
5. Do you find it increasingly difficult to
communicate with ____?
6. Does ____’s behavior have you “climbing
the walls”?
7. Do you often ask, “Where have I failed?”
8. Do you feel it is necessary to protect ____
because he or she is unusually sensitive?
9. Are you trying to compensate for some
family misfortune, divorce, death, illness?
10. Are you embarrassed to discuss your
situation with a friend or relative?
ARE YOU
11. Do you find yourself lying or covering
up for ____?
12. Do you feel resentful or hostile toward
____?
13. Do you find it increasingly difficult to
trust ____?
14. Do you worry about ____’s behavior
TORN
affecting other members of the family?
15. Do you blame others for ____’s
problems?
16. Do you blame yourself?
17. Are ____’s problems starting to
APART
undermine your marriage?
18. Do you find yourself playing detective, TRYING TO COPE
fearful of what you will find?
19. Do you go from place to place seeking
help for ____? WITH A
20. Is concern for ____ giving you headaches,
stomachaches, or heartache?
SUBSTANCE
• If you answered YES to any three of these
questions, this is an early-warning sign.
• If you answered YES to four or more, chances are
ABUSER?
that you could use some help.
~~~~~~~~
To order additional copies of this or other FA literature,
to find a local group or an online meeting,
or to obtain information about starting a new group
in your community, please contact:
FAMILIES ANONYMOUS, INC.
701 Lee Street, Suite 670, Des Plaines, IL 60016
(847) 294-5877 • (800) 736-9805 [USA only]
Website: www.FamiliesAnonymous.org
E-mail: famanon@FamiliesAnonymous.org Families
Copyright © 1985, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2021
Families Anonymous, Inc. ▪ All Rights Reserved
This publication may be reproduced
Anonymous
by FA groups for public information use only.
#7009 6/2021