Book Family Management

Family Management
Sanghamitra Kar
(Director, Shalvi Infofine Private Limited)
LIISPRING, ODISHA, INDIA-760001

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First Published 2021
ISBN : 978-93-91196-03-5
Price: US$ 20
LIISPRING
BERHAMPUR, ODISHA, INDIA
www.liispring.com
About the Authors
Sanghamitra Kar a Graduate in Commerce with Post

Graduate, Post Diploma in Business Management and
Masters Degree in Business Administration is currently
worked as a Director in Shalvi Infofine Private Limited,
Berhampur, Odisha. Her interest on Business include
IT, Digitalization, Green Agriculture, Health Care
Technical Operation, Research, Training and
Development etc.
Sanghamitra Kar
CONTENTS
Chapters Title Page No
1 : The Indian Family System 1
2 : Family and Happiness 17
3 : Family and Relationship Management 21
4 : Family And Children 39
5 : Mothers’ Role in Child Development 63
6 : Father’s Role in Child Development 71
7 : Marriage and Continuation of Marital Relationship 77
8 : Family Budget Management System 88
9 : Family Conflict and Stress Management 96
10 : The Changing Picture of Family 108

Family Management CHAPTER-1
The Indian Family System
Family is one of the main socialising institutions of the society. Since ancient times, the
family has been the most important child care institute in India as children are expected to
grow under the glory of family where a satisfactory rearing of child is ensured. According to
Pope - “the family is more sacred than the State.” It was pointed out by Will and Ariel Durant
that the family is nucleus of civilisation. The universal declaration of human rights prescribes
the family as the natural and fundamental unit of society. Family is virtually a social
organisation or a unit of men and women out of relationship.
The importance of family lies in bringing up the child to a full man in the family atmosphere.
It has been a time honoured belief in our culture that the child is a gift of God that must be
nurtured with care and affection within the family and society as a future dawn. As per
Confucius-the strength of a Nation is derived from the integrity of its homes. It is the famous
saying that a comfortable home is a great source of happiness. It ranks immediately after
health and good conscience as aptly said by Byron. Without loving heart there is no meaning
for home. The purpose of this chapter is to describe the theoretical framework of family by
defining family and giving insight into the Indian family system.
Family
Family, a basic unit of social structure, the exact definition of which can vary greatly from
time to time and from culture to culture. How a society defines family as a primary group,
and the functions it asks families to perform, are by no means constant. There has been much
recent discussion of the nuclear family, which consists only of parents and children, but the
nuclear family is by no means universal. In the United States, the percentage of households
consisting of a nuclear family declined from 45% in 1960 to 21.5% in 2021. In preindustrial
societies, the ties of kinship bind the individual both to the family of orientation, into which
one is bom, and to the family of procreation, which one founds at marriage and which often
includes one's spouse's relatives. The nuclear family also may be extended through the
acquisition of more than one spouse, or through the common residence of two or more
married couples and their children or of several generations connected in the male or female
line. This is called the extended family; it is widespread in many parts of the world, by no
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means exclusively in pastoral and agricultural economies. The primary functions of the
family are reproductive, economic, social, and educational; it is through kin itself variously
defined that the child first absorbs the culture of his group.
Indian Family System

In India the family is the most important institution that has survived through the ages; India,
like most other less industrialised, traditional, eastern societies is a collectivist society that
emphasizes family integrity, family loyalty, and family unity. C. Hui and H. Triandis defined
collectivism, which is the opposite of individualism as, “a sense of harmony, interdependence
and concern for others”. More specifically, collectivism is reflected in greater readiness to
cooperate with family members and extended kin on decisions affecting most aspects of life,
including career choice, mate selection, marriage and its continuity.
The Indian family has been a dominant institution in the life of the individual and in the life
of the community. For the Hindu family, extended family and kinship ties are of utmost
importance. In India, families adhere to a patriarchal ideology, follow the patrilineal rule of
descent, are patrilocal, have familialistic value orientations, and endorse traditional gender
role preferences. The Indian family is considered strong, stable, close, resilient, and enduring.
Historically, the traditional, ideal and desired family in India is the joint family. A joint
family includes kinsmen, and generally includes three to four living generations, including
uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, and grandparents living together in the same household. It is a
group composed of a number of family units living in separate rooms of the same house.
These members eat the food cooked at one hearth, share a common income, common
property, are related to one another through kinship ties, and worship the same idols. The
family supports the old; takes care of widows, never-married adults, and the disabled; assists
during periods of unemployment; and provides security and a sense of support and
togetherness. The joint family has always been the preferred family type in the Indian culture,
and most Indians at some point in their lives have participated in joint family living.
The beauty about the Indian culture lies in its age-long prevailing tradition of the joint family
system. It’s a system under which even extended members of a family like one’s parents,
children, the children’s spouses and their offspring, etc. live together. The elder-most, usually

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the male member is the head in the joint Indian family system who makes all important
decisions and rules, whereas other family members abide by it dutifully with full respect.
A major factor that keeps all members, big and small, united in love and peace in a joint
family system in India is the importance attached to protocol. This feature is very unique to
Indian families and very special. Manners like respecting elders, touching their feet as a sign
of respect, speaking in a dignified manner, taking elders’ advice prior taking important
decisions, etc. is something that Indian parents take care to inculcate in their kids from very
beginning. The head of the family responds by caring and treating each member of the family
the same.
The intention behind the formation of any social unit will fail to serve its purpose if discipline
is lacking and the same applies to the joint family system as well. Due to this reason,
discipline is another factor given utmost importance in the joint family system in India. As a
rule, it’s the say of the family head that prevails upon others. In case of any disagreement, the
matter is diligently sorted out by taking suggestions from other adult members. One usually
also has to follow fixed timings for returning home, eating, etc.
The reason why Indians are proving to emerge as a prosperous lot globally, many researches
claim, is because of the significance they attach to the joint family system. All working
cohesively to solve a problem faced by any one or more members of the joint family, is what
works magic in keeping one tension-free, happy and contended even in today’s highly
competitive environment. An Indian may be a top corporate honcho or a great sportsperson or
a movie actor and so on in a particular professional field, but all these accomplishments
relegate to the backseat when at home.
With the advent of urbanisation and modernisation, younger generations are turning away
from the joint family form. Some scholars specify that the modified extended family has
replaced the traditional joint family, in that it does not demand geographical proximity or
occupational involvement and does not have a hierarchal authority structure. This new family
form encourages frequent visits; financial assistance; aid and support in childcare and
household chores; and involvement and participation in life-cycle events such as births,
marriages, deaths, and festival celebrations. The familial and kinship bonds are thus

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maintained and sustained. Even in the more modem and nuclear families in contemporary
India, many functional extensions of the traditional joint family have been retained, and the
nuclear family is strongly embedded in the extended kinship matrix. In spite of the numerous
changes and adaptations to a pseudo-Westem culture and a move toward the nuclear family
among the middle and upper classes, the modified extended family is preferred and continues
to prevail in modem India.
India is an extremely pronatalistic society, and the desire to have a male child is greatly
stressed and is considered by some to be a man's highest duty, a religious necessity, and a
source of emotional and familial gratification. Because male children are desired more than
female children, they are treated with more respect and given special privileges. Male
children are raised to be assertive, less tolerant, independent, self-reliant, demanding, and
domineering. Females, in contrast, are socialised from an early age to be self-sacrificing,
docile, accommodating, nurturing, altruistic, adaptive, tolerant, and religious, and to value
family above all. In rural areas, low-income women have always worked outside the home. In
urban areas, there has been a substantial increase in the number of middle- and upper-class
women working to supplement their husbands' incomes. In a traditional Indian family, the
wife is typically dependent, submissive, compliant, demure, nonassertive, and goes out of her
way to please her husband. Women are entrusted with the responsibility of looking after the
home and caring for the children and the elderly parents and relatives.
Child rearing practices in India tend to be permissive, and children are not encouraged to be
independent and self-sufficient. The family is expected to provide an environment to
maximise the development of a child's personality and, within the context of the Hindu
beliefs and philosophy, positively influence the child's attitudes and behaviours.
Adolescence and young adulthood are particularly stressful and traumatic stages in the lives
of Indian youths. In one way, they desire emancipation and liberation from family but
residing in the matrix of the extended family makes it difficult for them to assert themselves
and exhibit any independence in thought, action, or behaviour. Social changes are gradually
occurring but arranged marriages are still the norm, and dating generally is not allowed.
Furthermore, sex and sexuality issues are not openly discussed, sex education is not readily
available, interrelationships with the opposite sex are discouraged, and premarital sex is

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frowned upon. In the traditional Indian family, communication between parents and children
tends to be one-sided. Children are expected to listen, respect, and obey their parents.
Generally, adolescents do not share their personal concerns with their parents because they
believe their parents will not listen and will not understand their problems.
Problems of India’s Changing Family

The family has been and continues to be one of the most important elements in the fabric of
Indian society. The bond that ties the individual to his family, the range of the influence and
authority that the family exercises make the family in India not merely an institutional
structure of our society, but accord give it a deep value. The family has indeed contributed to
the stability to Indian society and culture.
Today, the Indian family is subjected to the effects of changes that have been taking place in
the economic, political, social and cultural spheres of the society. In the economic sphere, the
patterns of production, distribution and consumption have changed greatly. The process of
industrialisation and the consequent urbanisation and commercialisation have had drastic
impacts on the family. Migration to urban areas, growth of slums, change from caste oriented
and hereditary occupations to new patterns of employment offered by a technological
revolution, the cut-throat competition for economic survival and many other economic
changes have left their impact on the family.
Briefly speaking, these changes in the socio-economic-political-cultural milieu of our society

have led to changes in the structures, functions, roles, relationships and values of the family.
In the context of the changes in the economic system more and more members of the family
are moving away from the larger family circle and living as individuals or members of a
nuclear unit in urban areas. The patterns or loyalties, obligations and expectations have
changed. The cases of the child and the aged in particular have become a problem for many
due to structural changes in the family.
Disappearing Joint Family System

Since time immemorial the joint family has been one of the salient features of the Indian
society. But the twentieth century brought enormous changes in the family system. Changes
in the traditional family system have been so enormous that it is steadily on the wane from
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the urban scene. There is absolutely no chance of reversal of this trend. In villages the size of
joint family has been substantially reduced or is found in its fragmented form. Some have
split into several nuclear families, while others have taken the form of extended or stem
families. Extended family is in fact a transitory phase between joint and nuclear family
system. The available data suggest that the joint family is on its way out in rural areas too.
The joint family or extended family in rural areas is surviving in its skeleton or nominal form
as a kinship group. The adults have migrated to cities either to pursue higher education or to
secure more lucrative jobs or to eke out their living outside their traditional callings, ensuing
from the availability of better opportunities elsewhere as well as the rising pressure of
population on the limited land base. Many of the urban households are really offshoots of
rural extended or joint families. A joint family in the native village is the fountainhead of
nuclear families in towns. These days in most cases two brothers tend to form two
independent households even within the same city owing to the rising spirit of individualism,
regardless of similarity in occupation, even when the ancestral property is not formally
partitioned at their native place.
The nuclear family, same as elsewhere, is now the characteristic feature of the Indian society.
According to the Census of India data, of all the households nuclear family constituted 70
percent and single member or more than one member households without spouse comprised
about 11 percent. The extended and joint family or households together claim merely 20
percent of all households. This is the overall picture about the entire country, whereas in the
case of urban areas the proportion of nuclear family is somewhat higher still.
An extended family, which includes a couple with married sons or daughters and their
spouses as well as household head without spouse but with at least two married sons,
daughters and their spouses, constitute a little less than one fifth of the total households. With
further industrial development, rural to urban migration, nuclearisation of families and rise of
divorce rate and the proportion of single member household is likely to increase steadily on
the line of industrial West. This is believed to be so because the states, which have got a
higher level of urbanization, tend to have a higher proportion of single member households.
Similarly, about a couple of decades ago almost 20 percent households contained only one
person in the USA. More or less, a similar situation exists in other developed countries as

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well, and above all, not a single country has recorded decline in the proportion of single
member household during the last three decades. In fact, the tendency is more towards
increase in the proportion of single member households.
As the process of family formation and dissolution has become relatively faster now than
before, households are progressively more headed by relatively younger people. Census data
from 1971 onward have clearly borne out that at the national level over three-fifths of the
households are headed by persons aged less than 50. There is every reason to believe that
proportion of households headed by younger persons is likely to constitute a larger proportion
than this in urban areas where the proportion of extended family, not to speak of joint family,
is much smaller than that of rural areas.
The emergence of financially independent, career-oriented men and women, who are
confident of taking their own decisions and crave to have a sense of individual achievement,
has greatly contributed to the disintegration of joint family. Disintegration of joint family has
led to closer bonds between spouses, but the reverse is also true in certain cases. For many,
nuclear family is a safer matrimonial home to a woman. In bygone days people generally
lived in joint families, yet familial discord never escalated into extreme physical violence or
death, as we so often come across such instances in our day-to-day life and also know
through national dailies, both electronic and print media.
Changes in Authority Structure

Once the authority within the family was primarily in the hands of family elders. The general
attitude of members of the family towards the traditional patriarch was mostly one of respect.
Loyalty, submissiveness, respect and deference over the household were bestowed on him.
These attributes also encompassed other relationships in the family, such as children to their
parents, a wife to her husband, and younger brothers to their older brothers. Within a
household no one was supposed to flout the will of his elders. The father, or in his absence
the eldest brother, was consulted on all important family matters like pursuing litigation in
courts of law, building a house, buying and selling of property and arranging marriages, etc.
The joint family did not allow the neglect or disregard of elders. The age-grade hierarchy was
quite strong. Now the people of younger generation, particularly those with modem tertiary

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education, do not seem to show the same reverence which their fathers had for their parents
or elders.
Among women, patriarch’s wife was the paramount authority. In fact, women’s position
depended on the position of their husbands in the household. The wife of the household head
or mother-in-law was in charge of the household. Her word was law or at least had the same
force. Her decisions were made for the entire family and not for the welfare of the individuals
in it. Young women in the family were expected to be dutiful and obedient. Self-assertion,
even in bringing up their own children, was blasphemy. Widows and those spumed by their
husbands were assured of the family roof, though mostly as voiceless members.
With a view to absolving themselves of responsibility now parents cleverly encourage their
educated sons and daughters-in-law to take independent decision in a joint and extended
family situation, leave aside urban areas, the similar situation has started to emerge in rural
areas too. This is not unusual when sons and daughters tend to possess a higher level of
education and a greater degree of exposure of the world outside the family than ever before.
Now boys and girls, contrary to the old practice, are beginning to assert their wishes in mate
selection. Parental decisions are no more supreme. Changes concerning erosion of authority
of old guards, particularly in matters of mate selection, are on gradual decline in rural areas
too.
Yet another interesting fact about the change in authority structure within the family is that
about 10 percent of all the households are headed by women. Most of the female household
heads are usually independent and gainfully employed. In the absence of their husbands,
either because of death, separation, transfer in job or business engagement, women are
themselves able to run the affairs of their family. Long distance migration of men for
employment is also an important reason for the emergence of such households. The
phenomenon of female-headed household assumes significance in the Indian society because
in the past when the joint family system was so preponderant that the female-headed
household was quite an uncommon phenomenon.

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Changes in Marital Practices

The traditional system of values of the Indian society, especially that of Hindus, has been
such that it stood for the practice of early as well as universal marriage for females. Child
marriage or pre-puberty marriage all through has been an archetypal institution of India. The
mean age at marriage was reported to be quite low in the 19 th century and so also in earlier
days. The mean age at marriage for females was about 13 years between 1901 and 1931
censuses and it did not differ much between different communities. Of all the legal measures
the Child Marriages Restraint Act 1929 (and its further amendments in 1949, 1955 and 1978)
happened to be quite effective one. Rise in the age at marriage really became conspicuous
during the post independence era, that is, during the period onward 1950. The act was further
amended in 1978 wherein boys’ marriage age was raised to 21 and girls’ age to 18 years. On
the whole, the state level census information for the last one hundred years has revealed a
clear rise in the age at marriage for girls. During 1891-1991 the age at marriage increased by
4 to 7 years in different parts of the country. The Census of India, 2011 has estimated an age
of 21.5 at marriage.
A new law banning child marriage was passed in December 2006. The law provides certain
positive initiatives for the intervention of courts to prevent child marriages through stay
orders. Child marriages are solemnised during times of festivals such as Akshaya Tritiya,
Akha Teej, Ram Navami, Basant Panchami and Karma Jayanti. According to UNICEF
report, 47 percent of India's women aged 20-24 were married before the legal age of 18, with
56 percent in rural areas. Child marriages have been prevalent in many cultures throughout
human history, but have gradually diminished since some countries started to urbanise and
experience changes in the ways of life for the people of these countries. An increase in the
advocacy of human rights, whether as women's rights or as children's rights, has caused the
traditions of child marriage to decrease greatly as it was considered unfair and dangerous for
the children. Today, child marriage is usually practised in countries where cultural practices
and traditions of child marriage still have a strong influence. Although child marriages have
been outlawed a long time ago, South Asia has currently the highest prevalence of child
marriage of any region in the world. India, as noted above, happens to be a forerunner in this
regard.

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Yet another important marital practice is consanguineous marriage which "has been the
notable feature of a large segment of the Indian society since long. Through the ages the
system of cross-cousin and cross-uncle niece marriages has been the most favoured kind of
marriage in South India. The most desirable mate for a man has been his own sister’s
daughter or mother’s brother’s daughter. In the face of rising dowry practices across the
country consanguineous marriages have appreciably declined in South India in recent years.
However, such marriages have remained tabooed among the vast majority of Hindus of North
India. The Hindu Marriage and Divorce Act 1955 prohibits marriage among close relatives,
called sapinda marriage. The sapinda relationship extends as far as the third generation in the
line of mother and the fifth in the line of father. In North India only Muslims, certain
scheduled castes and scheduled tribes tend to practice consanguineous marriages. Most of the
tribal groups practice consanguinity of both types such as marriages with the father’s sister’s
daughter, the mother’s brother’s daughter and the elder sister’s daughter.
The Indian society has been a highly endogamous. Marriage within the same subcaste has
been followed very strictly. The scheduled tribes are also endogamous, but most of the tribal
communities practice clan exogamy. Polygamy, more particularly polygyny, has been one of
salient features of Indian family. It has been more popular among Muslims than Hindus. Here
it is not suggested that the incidence of polygyny is more common than monogamy. The
polygamous males often derived support from ageoldscriptures and mythological stories. But
mainly those who had no issue from the first wife practised such marriages. With the rise in
the level of literacy the incidence of polygyny has receded even among the Muslims despite
the fact that such marriages have got full cultural and legal sanction. While monogamy is the
predominant form of marriage, there are a large number of tribes practicing sororal polygyny
and non-sororal polygyny.
Dissolution of Marriage
The dissolution of marriage has been quite uncommon and rare in India for a long time. In
case of any crisis or threat to stability of marriage, caste, community, kinsmen, tended to
have played a dominant say. People had both respect for and fear of social values and public
opinion. Authority of community, though implicit, has been supreme. The system of religious
belief has provided enough sustenance, to the institution of marriage and family. Individual

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choice has always been subservient to the communal sentiment or public opinion. Hindu
marriage is taken as a life-long union for the couple, as it is a sacrament, rather than a
contract between the couple to live in a social union so long as it is cordially feasible. Even in
the event of frequent mental and physical torture, most Indian women persist in marriage,
since remarriage of divorced or separated women is quite difficult. Morality relating to sex is
so highly valued that every male wants to marry a virgin girl only. In the past Hindus
demanded pre-nuptial chastity on the part of both, but now it is by and large limited to
females. Virginity is regarded as the girls’ greatest virtue and a symbol of respectability.
Under the circumstances remarriage of women is so difficult that annulment of marriage is a
very hard choice or option. Despite all these there has been a significant change in the views
and attitudes towards sanctity of marriage in the recent past, especially in cities. Marriage is
no longer held to be a ‘divine match’ or a ‘sacred union’. Now it is more like a transfer of a
female from one family to another, or from one kinship group to another. The marriage is no
longer sanctified as it was believed in the past, and is viewed only as a bonding and nurturing
life-long relationship and friendship. The rather flippant and superficial reasons given by
many women and men to break a marriage may not portend well for the future.
Indian marriages are still largely resilient and lasting, whereas in many developed countries
they seem to break up for seemingly trivial reasons. Marriages are very vulnerable or fragile
there. One in every four or five marriages breaks up despite more space and freedom in the
West. The longevity of marriage in most developed countries ranges on an average from five
to seven years. While in India divorce rates are among the lowest in the world. Only one out
of 100 marriages ends up in divorce here. These days divorce rates in India’s urban sphere
are, however, slowly mounting.
Marriage counsellors, formerly pooh-poohed at, have today assumed a lot of importance in
guiding couples through stormy seas and averting the imminent pain of divorce. Today in
cities there is disenchantment with the system of arranged marriages in a large number of
cases. The Indian family is faced with a new kind of social and psychological constraints.
The women, however, tend to be more concerned about their marriage than men and in case
of a problem they are expected to go for counselling. They are expected to take the lead to
resolve conflicts and when they give up the effort, the marriage is generally over. In today’s
shifting values and changing times, there is less reliance on marriage as a definer of sex and

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living arrangements throughout life. Today in cities there is disenchantment with the system
of arranged marriages. There is a greater incidence of extra-marital relationships, including
open gay and lesbian relationships, a delay in the age at marriage, higher rates of marital
disruption and more egalitarian genderrole attitudes among men and women. It is reported
that in big metropolises a new system of‘live-in-arrangements’ between pairs, particularly in
upper stratum of society, is steadily emerging as a new kind of family life. Anyway, a
relatively higher divorce rate in cities, inter alia, connote that marriage is an institution in
trouble, or else expectations are so high that people are no longer willing to put up with the
kinds of dissatisfactions and empty shell marriages that the previous generations tolerated.
High rate of remarriages clearly means that people are sacrificing their marriages because of
unsatisfactory relationships.
Domestic Tension and Violence

Violence within family settings is primarily a male activity. The prime targets are women and
children. The women have been victims of humiliation and torture for as long as we have
written records of the Indian society. Despite several legislative measures adopted in favour
of women during the last 150 years, continuing spread of modem education and women’s
gradual economic independence, countless women have continued to be victims of
discrimination and violence in the country. Increasing family violence in modem times has
compelled many social scientists to be apologists for the traditional joint family- as happy
and harmonious, a high-voltage emotional setting, imbued with love, affection and
tenderness. India’s past has been so romanticised by certain scholars that they have regarded
the joint family as the best form of family.
There are data showing that in India 40 percent of women have experienced violence by an
intimate partner. These stark figures underline the fact that, although the home and
community are places where women provide care for others, they are also places where
millions of women experience coercion and abuse. A study of five districts of the State of
Uttar Pradesh has revealed that 30 percent of currently married men acknowledge physically
abusing their wives. About fifty percent of the women experiencing physical violence also
reported physical abuse during pregnancy. With the rise in the level of education and
exposure to mass media, women tend to have greater awareness of the notion of gender
equality, faith in the effectiveness of legal action to protect their rights, and confidence in
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such institutions as family courts and certain voluntary organizations working for women.
Yet there is no sign of abatement in gender related violence. Cases of domestic violence, like
wife-battering and forced incest with the women of the household, are so personal and
delicate that they are seldom reported to the police or law courts. We are sure that the recent
legislation of antidomestic violence act of 2005 would certainly take care of the problem of
gender-based violence of the Indian woman to a very large extent. There is another side of
the story of domestic violence as well which has remained uncovered, particularly by
feminist writers. It is roughly estimated that every year more than 58000 educated women are
making the life of their husbands hell by misusing anti-dowry law and domestic violence act
and under these laws legal terrorism is continuing openly to extort money from the husbands
and their families. More than 52000 married men are ending their life due to various type of
harassment and domestic violence faced form their beloved wives in the form of verbal
abuse, financial abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse, relationship cheating, etc.
Problems of Children
Children constitute a little over 30 percent of the total population of the country according to
the 2001 Census of India. Evidence suggests that they are quite vulnerable and their exposure
to violations of their protection rights remains widespread and multiple in nature. The
manifestations of these violations are very varied, ranging from child labour and child
trafficking to commercial sexual exploitation and many other forms of violence and abuse.
With an estimated 12.6 million children engaged in hazardous occupations5,1, for instance,
India has the largest number of child labourers under the age of 14 in the world. Although
poverty is often cited as the cause underlying child labour, other factors such as
discrimination, social exclusion, as well as the lack of quality education or existing parents’
attitudes and perceptions about child labour and the role and value of education need also to
be considered.
While systematic data and information on child protection issues are still not always
available, evidence suggests that children in need of special protection belong to communities
suffering disadvantages and social exclusion such as scheduled castes and scheduled tribes,
arid the poor. The lack of available services as well as the gaps persisting in law enforcement
and in rehabilitation schemes also constitute a major cause of concern. The children of poor
families, especially those of artists, craftsmen, and other professions are trained by their

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parents and elders of the family in their vocations such as weaving, tanning, sweeping
dyeing, hairdressing, painting, carpentry and agriculture.
A vast number of children grow up lending a helping hand to elders in their homeindustries.
The practice or intergenerational transfer of traditional callings more or less is still
continuing. Such kids who lack formal schooling, but working and specializing in some craft
or their traditional callings help them build a career.
Indeed, the poverty in India forces many parents to send their children to earn extra money.
The employers who hire such children pay them paltry wages. One can see boys of poor
families act as vegetable vendors throughout India. Children of construction workers help in
bringing water, cleaning vessels or collecting twigs for fuel. Their parents are compelled to
come to cities when monsoon fails and they cannot cultivate their lands.
Children are also subjected to gender based discrimination. Discrimination against women in
fact starts the day she is bom. Sometimes it also starts when she is in her mother’s womb as a
foetus. The practice of female foeticide, despite being illegal, is vigorously practised in urban
India. The girl child’s right to survival, health care and nutrition, education, social
opportunities and protection has to be recognised and made a social and economic priority.
Along with this the basic structural inequalities that cause poverty, malnutrition and the low
status of women have to be addressed, if these rights are to be ensured. Within family parents
are first to practice gender based discrimination and it is the first school of learning where
girls are inculcated the values of their being inferior to their brothers.
Although India loves their children, still thousands of children roam the streets of major cities
around the country and receive no education, proper food, clothing, or a bed to sleep in at
night. Awareness presentations through multi-media, contributions, talking and sharing
information among friends, education, self-help initiatives and good old fashion kindness are
all that is needed to get these kids off the streets. Basically they need five things for their
living: food, clothing, shelter, medical assistance and education. Contrary to the above, there
are children who belong to the well-off sections of society, but they are also not free from
problems. They are facing a different kind of problem either due to lack of adequate care or
attention from their working parents or due to heavy expectation from them by their parents

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in a fiercely competitive modem world full of uncertainties in life. In cases of working

mothers, children are placed in an entirely different situation. The demands of city life are
such that both wife and husband tend to remain outside their home for work even at the cost
of interests of their children. Working couples are unable to give proper care and affection to
their children.
Obviously, latchkey children of working couples are strangers to the sense of security
enjoyed by their own parents. The system of surrogate mothers or the Montessori and
indergarten systems of schooling has proved to be a very poor substitute for family as an
agent of socialization. With the diminished role of family as an agent of socialization juvenile
delinquency is on the increase. In the past children enjoyed security of a kind unknown today.
Growing up under the joint care of adults made them feel responsible for all the extended
members of the family, besides their own parents. Now children are at greater strain than ever
before because in general parents intend, to accomplish those things in their life through their
children what they themselves could not be able to achieve, no matter how difficult they are.
Children are put under great stress and stain to score high marks at schools to be able to meet
the ever-increasing challenges of fiercely competitive world of education and employment. In
addition to helping their children achieve higher goals of life, women, sometimes both the
parents, have to work harder with a view to attaining economic independence and
maintaining a higher standard of living of their family.
As stated above, there has been appreciable decline in fertility over the years. This has not
been possible without recording drastic changes in the attitude of people towards the size of
family and the value system of patriarchy and patriliny. Based on studies on fertility
behaviour and contraceptive practices one can conclusively contend that perhaps no element
of the Indian social system has experienced greater changes than the system of family during
the post-independent period. This is clearly borne out by various empirical investigations.
Despite considerable decline in fertility or lesser burden of children on the family, there is no
improvement in the quality of care of children especially in rural areas.
There hardly exists any pre-school or community centre in villages. There also does not exist
even a basic facility of play ground for children. The older children have to mind the younger
children at home and sometimes they are also expected to lend helping hands to their parents

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in the household chores as and when required. The poor children learn the expected roles of
life of their own with the passage of time, while the well-off peasantry send their children to
private schools in towns and cities for better schooling.
Summary
In this chapter, an introductory theme, definition and meaning of family is presented. Indian
family system and contemporary changes affecting the family structure in India in terms of
disturbed family, changes in marital status, and problems of children are addressed in detail.
The basic unit of the Indian society is patrilineal family unit and wider kinship groupings.
The most widely desired residential unit is the joint family, ideally consisting of three or four
patrilineally related generations, all living under one roof. Due to the continuous and growing
impact of urbanization and westernisation, nuclear family has now become the characteristic
feature of the Indian society. The phenomenon of maleheaded households has now been
transforming into female-headed ones. Another noticeable change in the Indian family system
is dissolution of marriages and the number of divorce cases is slowly mounting day by day.
Increasing domestic violence has been reported in India, as a result of family fragmentation
and loss of social support systems in marriage. The major influence that has been cast by the
changes in all spheres of the society is on children leading to child labour, trafficking and
other forms of abuse.
Poverty isThe main factor among all the reasons behind all such negative occurrences making
their lives miserable. At the same time, children of well-to-do families are also experiencing
several problems in terms of lack of attention from their busy parents and a great strain from
High expectations to excel in the competitive world.

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CHAPTER-2
Family and Happiness
Most of us look forward to living many years experiencing happiness and contentment. We
hope to live the lives that we have dreamed of – lives that please and delight with simple
pleasures and happiness.
Happiness is the main aim and end of human existence. In most of the studies, it was found
that people rank the pursuit of happiness as one of the most cherished goal in life.
"Happiness is the supreme object of existence"

J. Gilchrist Lawson
Happiness is the common goal of all mankind and it is also the most elusive one. But there is
nothing absolute about the concept of happiness. It is an internal experience which is totally
subjective and psychological. So, the word happiness is interchangeably used with subjective
well-being and psychological well-being.
Today, this belief continues with greater emphasis on subjective-wellbeing or happiness.

Growth in the field of subjective well-being reflects larger societal trends concerning the
value of the individual; the importance of subjective views in evaluating life and the
recognition that well-being necessarily includes positive elements that transcend economic
prosperity.
Human beings are always immersed in a social environment starting from family, which not
only changes the very structure of the individual but also provides him a readymade system
of signs. The infant at birth is primarily on a biological level. Its first contact by which it
begins to become a social psychological being is in the family.
Inspite of radical changes that have taken place in the pattern of Indian life in recent decades,
the family is the still most important part of child's social network. This is because the

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members of the family constitute the child's first environment and are the most significant
people during the early, formative years.
From contacts with family members, children lay the foundations for attitudes towards
people, things and life in general. They also lay the foundations for pattern of adjustment and
learn to think of themselves as the member of their family think of them. As a result, they
learn to adjust to life on the basis of the foundations laid when the environment was limited
largely to home.
The family environment is the psychological atmosphere of the family, varies markedly from
family to family. Some families have good environment, some a poor and others a
changeable climate. Even within the family, the climate may vary from time to time for
anyone individual, it is certain to vary for children of the family. The kinds of family In
which children grow up affect their development, attitude and behaviour by determining the
kind of relationship they have with different family members. If the attitude of the members
of the family is positive and favourable meaning thereby they are helping and supporting
each other, they have freedom to express their views, participate in social, cultural and
intellectual activities and lesser conflict and control results in happiness among the members
of the family.
Thus, we can say that one of the most important factors that may be the root cause of
happiness is family and its environment. But there are various determinants of family climate
like family composition, parental occupation, child rearing attitudes and practices, abuse
families, structural demographic and personal factors that determine the happiness of an
individual. Undoubtedly the interaction between parent-child has a significant influence. The
interaction and emotional relationship between infant and parents will shape the child's
expectancies and responses in subsequent social relations. The beliefs, values and attitude of
the culture are filtered through parents and presented to the child in a highly personalized,
selective fashion that determines the personality of the child. Nevertheless, the most
important person in a child's life is his parents who can basically mould and modify the future
in child's favour.

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The contribution of the family to child's development comes from the type of relationship
children have with different family members. These relationships, in turn, are influenced by
the attitudes and behaviour of different family member towards the children of the family.
In family, parents share an influential space in individual's life. The importance of good
parent-child relationship and healthy home environment in the healthy development of the
individual in the later life has been well documented in literature. The quality of an
adolescent's relationship with his/her parents is a key component to healthy adolescent
development.
Thus, family environment and parent-child relationship play a very important role in
happiness disposition which further sow the seed for future happiness.
Happiness is a Swedish sunset - it is there for all, but most of us look the other way
and loose it.
Mark Twain
Happiness is the single most sought after thing in the world. It is the greatest aim of
science and ultimate goal of all mankind. Everybody in this world wants to be happy. Infact,
the basic goal of all the inventions, discoveries or research is to make an individual happy.
But, it is pretty hard to tell what brings happiness because there is no single factor alone
which can make a person happy. Hence, happiness cannot be considered in isolation.
Universal factors as feeling of self-worth, religiosity, satisfaction, social support, loving
others, taking action, developing insights, tools strategies and using practical wisdom can
help transform one's life leading to happiness. In other words, it is not something which one
finds, it is something which one creates.
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within.

It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us
which makes us happy; it is that which we think, feel and do,
first for other fellow and then for ourselves.
Helen Keller

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In this era of insatiable materialism and sophistication people often confuse happiness with
material pleasure. Everybody in this world is after money so as to have material pleasures and
thereby thinking that it might lead to happiness and tranquility. But in reality, material
pleasures have crushed our inner sources, social institutions and faith which regulate our
happiness to a great extent people think that they can buy happiness. But actually happiness is
an attitude, it is not a condition. It is an internal realization that can only be achieved by right
action and right thinking.
Growth in the field of happiness reflects larger societal trends concerning the value of
individual. If the subjective views in evaluating life include positive elements in terms of
presence of positive affect, absence of negative affect and satisfaction with life as a whole
would transcend individual's success and prosperity in every field of life which may further
lead to economic prosperity.
If one thinks that one is happy, that is enough to be happy.
Happiness is a person's cognitive and affective evaluation of his or her life in terms of well-
being and contentment. It has always been first and the foremost aim of human endeavour to
generate happiness. All sights, fragrances, tastes, knowledge and achievements are worth,
simply because they give happiness or contribute in making life happy. Desire of this wonder
phenomenon called happiness leads the life on.

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CHAPTER-3
Family and Relationship Management
The word family originates from the Roman word ‘famulus’ meaning servant. In Roman law,
the word denoted a group of producers, slaves, servants and other members connected by
common descent or marriage. Sociologist Burgess (1960) defined family as a group of people
united by ties of marriage, blood or adoption constituting a major household, interacting and
communicating with each other in respective social roles of husband-wife, mother-father,
son-daughter, brothersister and creating and maintaining a common culture. There are
different types of families — nuclear, joint, extended and so on. Mutual aid, financial support
and social interactions are common among family members even when they live apart.
Family appears to be a universal phenomenon. Society of some type is a prerequisite for

family to exist. The institution of family obviously has a long history as it is alluded to in
ancient mythologies and epics. Morgan, an anthropologist theorised that family has
developed through three successive but interrelated stages. First was ‘savagery’ when people
depended on hunting and gathering. The second was ‘barbarism’ with the invention of
pottery, domestication of animals and use of iron tools. Third was ‘civilisation’ with the
invention of alphabets and writing. Scientific advances have uncovered the biological and
socio-cultural basis of family. Common biological factors for the origin of family are: the sex
drive and the need to reproduce; extended periods of dependency of human infants etc. Socio
cultural factors are: inherent gregariousness of humans, incest taboo which solidified family
structure and advantage of kinship.
Families with young adults encounter new possibilities, new problems and new ways to
accomplish the developmental tasks of young adult. The family supports and encourages the
individual to become independent and autonomous in his or her own right. Parents in mid-
adult phase may have to break the patterns and habits of two decades, as they let their
children venture into the world and establish themselves. The processes of launching starts
during the earlier life cycle stages of the family, as children prepare for the decisions that will
shape their futures. The launching stage is marked by the simultaneous release of the family’s
children and the addition of new members by marriage.

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In the first two decades of life as a child and as a teenager, a person usually lives within the
expectations of age and grade. Now, as a young adult, he or she emerges from the norms of
age-grade system and steps into the future of his or her making. The success or failure from
here on are largely dependent upon the choices he or she makes as an individual. Robert
Havighurst succinctly states that early adulthood is the most individualistic period of life, and
the loneliest one, in the sense that the individual, or at the most, two individuals, must
proceed with a minimum of social attention and assistance to tackle the most important tasks
of life.
Developmental tasks of young adults are:
1) Establishing one’s autonomy as an individual.
2) Planning a direction for one’s life.
3) Getting an appropriate education, training or skill.
4) Appraising love and sexual feelings.
5) Becoming involved in love relationship/s.
6) Selecting a marriage partner and being married.
7) Manageing additional responsibilities as a spouse and parent.
Young adults today face tremendous pressure to prove themselves in their chosen careers.
There are familial expectations from young men to become independent earning members
across classes. Such expectations may not be faced by young women across all classes but
they have other stereotypical roles and responsibilities which they must be trained and
prepared for such as cooking, home management and care of family members. However,
today girls even if they are marriage-minded may desire to seek jobs and become financially
independent. Among the lower classes doing paid work may not be a choice which girls have
and they may have to support the family income generation in some way. Young women in
India have dual responsibilities of manageing home and their vocation. The conventional role
of the women as care takers and home makers is embedded in the psyche and this means
women have to be equipped with multitasking skills to manage home and work. Young adults
also learn to love and express their love. Love is considered a requisite for close friendship,
lasting intimacy and marriage. But love feelings are difficult to evaluate during the young
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adult years because they tend to be confused and entangled with maturing sex drives. In a
culture where free interaction between the members of the opposite sex is restricted it may
lead to suppression of feelings of expressing love. New sexual patterns of permissiveness
conflict with old values and the young adults are in a confused state regarding their
interaction with the opposite sex. In contemporary society young people have opportunities
for gaining social experience as well as for dating which appear to be related to the social
class of the young person’s family. Marriage decisions in India are usually taken by the
family and this may become contesting issue between the parents and their children. The
following Section discusses some of the issues faced by young adults and their parents.
Parenting in Middle Years
Parenting young adults can be a challenging task, as parenting does not end when a child
turns 18 or 21 or even 25 years of age. In the Indian context there are no guidelines or
markers as to when parental responsibility ends or even how to withdraw it. In fact parenting
responsibility may continue for a long time even after young adults have established
themselves in professional as well as marital roles. One of the major concerns of parents in
middle years is to live up to the social expectations of successfully launching their children.
Let us now discuss family as a launching centre
Family as a Launching Centre
The launching stage is the period when children begin to leave home; some may go for higher
education to college or universities or even for jobs whereas others may get married. Parents
who are launching their children may be in the chronological age group between 40-54 years.
It is important to note that launching of the last child cannot be the marker of middle stage of
family life as there is a tendency to overlook voluntary or involuntary childless couples.
However, for married couple with children middle life stage is associated with launching of
children. Given the diversity of family forms it is not easy to define the stage in accurate
chronological order and associate it with the phase of middle adulthood, but nevertheless this
phase can be associated with the stage of those who are beyond the childbearing age and have
begun to launch their children. Most parents play active role over a considerable period of
time in getting their young adults successfully launched into the world. For those who are
unable to guide their children in matters of careers may face uncertainty regarding the career
paths chosen by their children. Parents take it up on themselves to smoothly launch their

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children and this can lead to tremendous strain on the filial relationship Marriage is
considered to be a socio-familial responsibility. Parents in India would consider it their
responsibility to choose or help one to choose a marriage partner. Marriage is regarded as the
official launching of a child. There are several issues that may arise pertaining to this
responsibility of the parents who are in the middle phase of their life.
Developmental Tasks in the Middle Years
The developmental tasks related to changes in the middle as well as later years involve
communication, self-esteem, sexual needs, conflict resolution and problem solving. Couples
may have to negotiate these tasks so that they can address certain life areas:
1) Correct imbalances in separateness and togetherness,

2) Rearrange physical facilities and resources,
3) Meet the costs as launching centre families,
4) Re-define and re-align relationships with siblings and other family members of their
own generation,
5) Cultivate and maintain a support network of friends,
6) Maintain open systems of communication between the family members,
7) Widen the family circle through release of young adult children and recruitment of
young members by marriage.
Family developmental tasks are critical as the family may shift from a household with
children to husband-wife pair. The major family goal is reorganising of the family into a
continuing unity while releasing matured and maturing young persons into lives of their own.
In spite of acknowledging the stage when children may leave home parents may not be able
to adjust to an empty home. Thus, we need to focus on the contracting nature of families
today as young adults leave home leading the family to shrink in size.
There are significant changes that occur in the phase of life called middle age. Biologically,
onset of menopause begins in women. Psychologically, there are changing attitudes toward
self, toward significant others and towards children. Research on marital satisfaction in the
middle years shows that most persons were found to give positive rather than negative ratings
to marital satisfaction in the middle years. The success of a marriage at any stage is related to
the ability of each spouse to be empathetic, to adapt, to adjust to changes in marital
relationship as needed. The characteristics associated with higher life satisfaction and marital
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happiness in middle years are greater gender equality and increased sharing of couple-
oriented activities. In this stage spouses come to rely more on each other for companionship
and support. Spouses who have high levels of trust are apt to achieve greater marital
satisfaction and sexual satisfaction.
Family is the most basic unit of society. Human beings are socialised in the family setting.
One of the important areas of human adjustment is that of adjusting to marital partners and
family situations. Families are not static. They grow and change just like individuals. In the
life cycle of an individual, from birth to death, there are different milestones. Similarly,
families go through a cycle with milestones that mark stages in the development of the
family. The size, structure and functioning of families may vary, but family support is
essential for human well-being. It is not clear whether marriage came first or family.
However, in most cultures marriage begins the process of establishing an independent family
for most couples. Just as normal behaviour is shaped in family, problems also have origins in
the family setting. A counsellor should have a good understanding of the family dynamics in
order to deal with a client. Family counselling aims at improving the function of the family
unit as well as the person designated as having a ‘problem’. In this Unit, you will learn about
the latter stages in family life cycle. As couples age, family dynamics change and new issues
emerge. A counsellor needs to be aware of these issues in order to be able to help clients
effectively
Midlife Families
Chronological age is just a marker. For conveniences, human life span is divided into
different stages. Usually the years between 45- 60 are considered as middle age. For
administrative and other purposes, most countries have accepted the UN definition of 60
years as marking the beginning of old age. There are variations in what age is considered as
separating ‘senior citizens’ from other adults. Age at retirement is also not constant for all
professions and in all countries. Usually, when people reach middle age, they are in what
could be called ‘post parental’ families. As children reach adulthood, they begin leaving
home and make their own living arrangement. This phase of family life cycle is often
described as the ‘launching centre’. The effect of launching children may involve some
degree of upset and conflict but it depends on several cultural factors. In cultures where

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women are overprotective and over-involved in mothering, moving away of children may be
a disturbing event. For others it may bring in a sense of freedom and opportunity for a
‘second career’. Very often, midlife families are described as “empty nest” as grown up
children would have become independent and left home. When families are small and
nuclear, the probability of the nest emptying is greater. In India, where large families were
more common earlier, many middle aged parents would find a ‘large full nest’ rather than an
empty one. If there are more children, while the eldest has reached young adulthood, the
youngest may still be of school age. However, now with families becoming nuclear and
smaller, Indian midlife families may soon face the phenomenon of empty nest.
Families in Later Life As the couple grows old, there is a change in the family structure.
Children may have moved out and established their own households. In such cases, there will
be only two old people living by themselves. In case of death of one of the pair, the
household gets reduced to a single person family. Because of longevity, it is also possible that
different generations live together. It is not uncommon to find grandparents, parents and adult
children living together. Especially, with decline in fertility, a single child may become
responsible for four sets of grand parents. This process is known as the “verticalisation” of
the family lineage. Thus, older people today are more likely to have multiple
intergenerational roles, simultaneously being a parent, grandparent, great-grandparent and
great-greatgrandparent. The number of shared years across generations is known as co-
survival; adult children are increasingly co-surviving their parents and grandparents into their
own middle and old-age. Together with the high fertility of women in the 1950’s (the baby-
boom in the West), it is estimated that in the year 2020, almost 90% of people 85 years and
older will have at least one surviving child. Given that being childless is a principal risk
factor for institutionalisation, these demographic trends have great importance for projected
long-term care planning. Parents and their adult children maintain relationships in many
different ways.
PSYCHOSOCIAL ISSUES IN MIDLIFE AND OLD AGE
All societies have age-grade system that rationalises the passage of time. It is a way of
dividing the individual’s life into socially relevant units and transform biological time into
social time. By this criterion, middle age stands out as an important stage in human life cycle.
There is no clear-cut mark between when middle age ends and old age begins. Yet, in every
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society, events typically happen between years 45 and 60 that may be considered as midlife
issues.
Midlife Issues
1) Physical and social changes during midlife: Middle age is often considered a major turning
point in life. People become aware of their personal ageing and mortality by this time.
Suddenly one becomes aware of changes in the body and finiteness of time. Some Western
theorists have speculated that just as there is adolescence, there is ‘midolescence’.
Neugarten (1968) was one of the earliest theorists to study midlife issues. She says there is
‘stock taking’ and increased reflection during middle age. There is also a new perception
of time, self and death. Some significant issues in this stage of life are outlined below.
2) Menopause: A significant physiological change that takes place in women in middle age is
menopause when the reproductive function comes to an end. Some of the Indian studies
report that Indian women often welcome menopause as it frees them from many social
taboos and fear of pregnancy. Among traditional Hindus, there is a ritual called ‘Rishi
Pancami’ performed by post-menopausal women that gives them status and a feeling of
well being. This is a good example of how culture can influence reactions to primarily
biological events. Mental health professionals have been interested in the impact of
menopause on well-being of women. In old days, involutional melancholia was considered
to be due to menopause. Carefully controlled studies show that age around menopause is
related to depression but menopause and depression may not be correlated. Health
problems, familial stress, social devaluation and sexroles may cause depression rather than
menopause per se. The question of ‘Andropause’ as a male equivalent to menopause has
given rise to much debate.
3) Empty nest syndrome: While menopause may not drive a woman to a counsellor, a
significant change in family may. In the 1970s much research focused on ‘empty nest
syndrome’. It was believed that women are so wrapped in their mothering roles, when
children move out of house as adults, women will suffer a crisis. Indian studies show that
many middle aged families may still have a large full nest rather than an empty nest. With
small family norms being accepted widely, this condition may change in the near future. It
is true, however, that living alone without family support is stressful for both men and
women.

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4) Sandwich generation: Middle aged are called the ‘sandwich generation’. In some families,
it is the people in the mid 40s who are caught between the demands of children and older
people. The parental generation has to cater to the ever growing needs of their own
adolescent children and attend to the needs and demands of their own parents. Such a
stage taxes one’s coping abilities. The role reversal “parenting the parent” and the
financial and other implications add to the emotional stress. Earlier experience with
parents, attitudes toward parents, the amount of time and energy spent in care-giving
influence the adjustment made in this phase of life.
5) Midlife marriage and sexuality: Marital satisfaction in most studies follows a “U” shaped
curve. Marital satisfaction is highest in the beginning of marriage and starts falling
gradually. It nearly hits the bottom in middle age when people experience maximum work
and parental responsibilities. It starts to rise again in late adulthood. Many children, even
adults believe that satisfying sex ends with midlife. Advances in health care and more
liberal attitudes may keep middle aged sexually active. But sexuality during midlife often
declines may be due to non-physiological reasons. Monotony in relationship,
preoccupation with work or family affairs, depression, fatigue and lack of a partner are
often the culprits of low sexuality.
6) Relationship with ageing parents: Due to the dramatic increase in life expectancy, many
middle aged adults end up providing care to older parents. Developmental scientists have
proposed a new life stage called filial maturity; when middle aged children learn to accept
and meet their parent’s dependency needs. This normative development is seen as the
healthy outcome of a ‘filial crisis” in which adults learn to balance love and duty to their
parents with autonomy within a two-way relationship.
Adjustment to middle age is influenced by several personal factors too. Attaching a great deal
of importance to youth, not accepting reality of ageing, negative attitude toward old age and
having a narrow set of roles lead to maladjustment. Middle age should be looked upon as a
time for evaluation and a time to develop new interests. According to social convoy theory,
people move through life surrounded by social convoys. This refers to circles of close friends
and family members of varying degrees of closeness on whom they can rely for assistance,
wellbeing and social support. Middle aged people in industrialised countries tend to have
largest convoys because they are likely to be married, have children and be in work force.
The basic proposes socio-emotional selectivity theory that offers life-span perspective.

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Middle aged people increasingly seek out those who will make them feel good. Older people
place more emphasis on emotional affinity in choosing hypothetical social partners
Issues in Later Life
In order to understand the relationship between parents and their adult children, it is
necessary to define the meaning of the term generation. A generation is a position of ranked
descent in a family lineage. The family roles of children, parents and grandparents define the
generational position within a family and denote the potential number of intergenerational
relationships (for example, grandparents who are also children have at least three types of
intergenerational relations). The term cohort, on the other hand, is a term used to designate a
group of people born in the same time in history and “travel” through time together as part of
the same age-group. Thus, both intercohort relationships and intergenerational relationships
are ways of viewing how members in different age-groups are related to each other.
However, an important distinction must be made. The intergenerational relations are personal
in nature and experienced within the context of families, whereas intercohort relations are
between groups of people at the societal level. The former involves the redistribution of
societal resources from one age group to another, whereas the latter involves direct transfers
between generations. In spite of these differences, there is an important connection between
the two types of relationships.
Some of the major issues in old age are:
1) Retirement: Exit from work force is a major turning point in adult development. It is often
seen as marking the shift from the middle years to old age. It also marks the end of work and
beginning of a period of relative leisure. Retirement may become a trauma and cause major
adjustment difficulties when people are not prepared for it or attach negative meaning to
retired life.
2) Widowhood: Marriages inevitably end either in divorce or death of a partner. Losing a

spouse is a major event in later life. There are disproportionately more widows than
widowers in old age. This is due both to longevity of women as well as socio cultural
practices. Widowhood reduces social status, economic status, creates psychological distress
and in general lowers the quality of life. There is a femimsation of ageing with more women
in older group.

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3) Grandparenthood: Bereavement is an issue in later part of adulthood — both middle and

old age. On the other hand, at the opposite end of the generational continuum, parents will
probably become grandparents. This often begins before the end of active parenting.
Becoming a grandparent replaces the roles that are lost due to age. It is often considered as
biological renewal and gives a sense of continuity in life. Grandmothers tend to be kin
keepers. Many are sole caregivers. Grandparents are a source of guidance, companionship
and links to past to the young.
4) Generation gap: The theme of generation gap has attracted much attention. Differences in
values, attitudes and life styles between old and young people are inevitable and obvious.
From a developmental perspective, the difference results from the differing life cycle of
young persons and parents. The alternative explanation suggested by anthropologist Margaret
Mead emphasises historical factors. Mead argues that young people are living in radically
different times; a period of cultural discontinuity. This leads to generation gap.
5) Dealing with illness, disability and death: People come face to face with the idea of
personal death by midlife and definitely in old age. Dealing with bereavement, illness,
disability induces the anxiety about one’s own death. There are several ways in which people
deal with these issues.
6) Safety and wellbeing: Many older people are living alone now, especially in urban areas.
Crimes against elderly are on the rise as is evident from daily media reports. This is because
old people are perceived as ‘soft targets’ by criminal elements. A survey conducted by a
leading Indian newspaper indicated that 78% of the people interviewed believed that crimes
against senior citizens have increased. 43% felt there was a nexus between politicians and
criminals, 25% were distressed that public was unconcerned about the plight of the elderly
and 18% blamed the police inefficiency for the same .
The developmental issues during adulthood may be different for men and women. Female life
cycle is often closely associated with family life cycle. Timing of marriage, childbearing,
education and work roles have long term implications for the life pattern of women.
Historical changes in the status of women, role choices and socio- cultural changes are
influencing the life course of woman that was traditionally intertwined with marital and
maternal roles. A sense of responsibility and concern for others may impair a woman’s sense
of well being. Women are affected more when problems or misfortunes beset their mate,

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children, parents, friends or coworkers. The vicarious stress makes women susceptible to
depression and other mental health problems.
Successful Ageing The concept of successful ageing emerged in 1950s and was popularised
in the 1980s. Earlier studies on ageing had focused on ‘problems’ and exaggerated the
negative effect of ageing. Now, we know that all problems are not due to ageing alone. Even
with age, people continue to live gracefully and actively. This is called successful ageing,
which has three components :
1) Low probability of disease or disability,

2) High cognitive and physical function capacity, and
3) Active engagement with life, The terms healthy ageing, and optimal ageing have been
proposed as alternatives to successful ageing.
Six dimensions of successful ageing that are:
1) Absence of physical disability over the age of 75 years as rated by a physician
2) Good subjective health assessment (that is good self-ratings of one’s health).
3) Length of ‘non-disabled’ life,
4) Good mental health,
5) Objective social support, and
6) Self-rated life satisfaction in eight domains, namely marriage, income-related work,

children, friendship and social contacts, hobbies, community service activities, religion and
recreation or sports. Indians had a beautiful vision of ageing and death.
It was crystallised in the statement “vina dainyena jeevanam, anayasena maranam” –

meaning “life with dignity and an easy death”. If life were to proceed as per the stages
outlined, one would enjoy the material world and also prepare for spiritual outlook with age .

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PSYCHOSOCIAL THEORIES OF AGEING
There are biological and psychosocial theories of ageing. In psychosocial terms, middle
adulthood once was considered a relatively settled period. Sigmund Freud saw no point in
psychotherapy for people over 50 years because he believed personality is permanently
formed by that age. By contrast, humanistic theorists such as Abraham Maslow and Carl
Rogers looked on middle age as an opportunity for positive change. According to Maslow,
self-actualisation can come only with maturity. Rogers held that full human functioning
requires a constant lifelong process of bringing the self in harmony with experience.
Researchers study three types of psychosocial developmental changes.
i) change related to maturational needs or tasks that all human beings experience at
particular times of life;
ii) change related to culturally endorsed roles or historical events that affect a particular
population; and
iii) change related to unusual experiences or the unusual timing of life events. Classic
theories that deal with these three types of change are normative-stage models and
timing-of-event models. Normative stage theories generally propose maturational
stages of development.
Indian Views on Ageing
Indian views on lifecycle and ageing emerged within the sociocultural setting over a long
period. The Vedic culture was life-affirming and glorified ageing. By the Bramhana period,
there was sense of ‘gerontophobia’ (fear of ageing) and disenchantment with life. By the time
Upanishads were compiled, old age was projected as unavoidable and incurable. The life-
negating Buddhist philosophy considered old age as a disease and one of the causes of
sorrow. The Hindu concept of ashrama or stages of life was codified by the time of Manu.
Manu, the ancient Indian lawgiver considered human life to be of one hundred years. This
was divided into four quarters. The first was brahmacharya, the life of a student. A man had
to spend the first quarter of life in. education and training as a celibate. The second stage was
that of grihastha or householder. A man was to marry, beget children and fulfill all the duties
specified for a householder. When his children grew up and his hair turned gray, he was to
give up the mundane concerns and become a vanaprasthi. He would retire to forest for
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spiritual pursuits. Finally, when he was mentally ready he would renounce everything and
become a samnyasi or ascetic. The final goal of life was moksha or liberation from bonds of
life. Marriage and family were considered very important in Indian culture. For the
fulfillment of dharma, artha and kama- that is for righteous living, earning livelihood and
satisfying libidinal urges, marriage and family provided an approved framework. The
ashramadharma prescribed the duties and responsibilities at each stage of life. The formal
organisation of duties by age was a method to avoid conflicts that could emerge within
generations of kins living together. It also provided for social and mental development of
people within the family set up.
Present scenario: These cultural concepts and traditions have undergone several changes in
modern India. Education, employment opportunities, migration of the young and
modernisation in general has resulted in changes in life style also. Having a second career or
seeking post retirement employment is becoming common. Senior citizens clubs and
pensioners associations try to fight for the rights of older people. There is a general tendency
to encourage the elderly to maintain an active lifestyle and keep fit as can be seen from the
media programmes, senior centres and the work of ‘silver’ activists. There are
NonGovernment Organisations (NGOs) such as HelpAge India, Harmony and Dignity
foundation that work for empowering the senior citizens.
As people move from adulthood to middle age, several events take place. Some are biological
changes and some are psychosocial in nature. Some such changes that make demands on
coping ability during mid and late adulthood are discussed here. Resilient families are
characterised by a high degree of commitment, focusing on positive and good qualities of
members, free flow of communication, shared interest, respect, concern, desire to spend time
together, strong value system and ability to deal with crisis and stress in a positive manner.
Health Issues
It is common knowledge that sensorymotor changes start taking place from young adulthood
itself. These become obvious by middle age. Age-related visual problems and slight loss in
visual acuity (sharpness of vision), slight loss of hearing are commonly seen. Some loss of
muscle strength is usually noticeable by the age of 45 years. Manual dexterity generally
becomes less efficient. Tasks that involve a choice of response and complex motor skills
involving many stimuli, decline more. Changes in hair, skin, weight and body fat become

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noticeable with age. People need to accept the changes occurring. Menopause related
problems, chances of osteoporosis, chances of cervical and breast cancer increase in women
with age. Chronic illness such as diabetes, hypertension, cardio-vascular disorders are also
related to age. Aches and pains that may not be fatal but that reduce quality of life cause
concern. Major mental health problems in later period of life are — dementia, depression,
delirium and a general lowering of life satisfaction. These will be discussed in Course-II in
greater detail. Frailty and disability in old age cause dependence on others for manageing
activities of daily living.
Family and Living Arrangement
Already you have read about changes in family during middle age. Decisions as to where and
with whom to live are affected by social and cultural traditions; values; availability of support
and personal factors. Widowhood, health problems, retirement, disability and economic
factors force people to change their living arrangement. Relocating to be closer to children, or
for health reasons is common in old age. When a partner dies, family sometimes shrinks to a
single person household. Migration of the young is forcing old people to live by themselves.
Living arrangement has implications for health and well-being. When old people live alone,
they cannot get help immediately in case of emergency. They miss daily interaction with
young people. Long term care in case of need becomes difficult. More than anything, old
people miss the companionship and affection of people for which they crave. Living alone is
often considered a risk factor especially if people are frail and have multiple health problems.
Apart from living with adult children or living alone, there are other options. Ageing in place;
that is, staying in one’s own household, is most satisfying to people. Suitable changes can be
made to accommodate age related problems. Grab bars, ramps, toilets that accommodate
wheel chair and assistive devices can help old people stay in their homes as long as possible.
More and more elderly prefer to remain within their own home and community for as long as
possible to maintain their independence.
COPING WITH CHANGES IN THE FAMILY
Coping is adaptive thinking or behaviour aimed at reducing or relieving stress that arises
from challenging conditions. Usually a distinction is made between emotion focused coping
and problem focused coping. Adjustment is better when people have a repertory of coping
skills and use them flexibly. Depending on the situation and the context, different strategies
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should be used Living in a Multigenerational Family Presence of many members of different

age and kinship in the family can be an enriching experience. It can also create special
pressures. Members will have diverse needs and priorities. In such families, there will be at
least one person with severe chronic illness that requires family adjustment. Intergenerational
relations influence the quality of elder care and also the quality of life of people. In India,
grandparent generation is considered the custodians of culture and family values in the
community. Teenagers often find it easier to relate to grandparents than parents. They enjoy
the attention and lenience that they cannot expect from parents. But they resent any
interference from the elders. When both parents are employed, much of emotional support
and care tends to be provided by grandparents. It is not true that always the young provide
help and support to the old. Very often, resources and services flow from the old to the
young. The much talked about generation gap is because the young, the middle aged and the
old belong to different generations. The way they are socialised and their life conditions
differ, sometimes drastically. The behaviour toward one another is influenced by attitudes,
dispositions and values. Stereotypes about old people — that old are slow, rigid, conservative
etc. influence how they are perceived. Similarly, the young may be dismissed as rash,
insensitive, impulsive etc. This leads to what Robert Butler called ageism. The major issues
in multigenerational families are: giving care while one’s own health may be faltering,
adjusting to demands of different age groups (for example, the needs of school going
children, adolescents, newly weds, middle aged, old and very-old members), facing death of
an older person, surviving without a spouse, keeping harmony and unity in the family. The
key to harmony at home appears to be: respect for one another, giving enough space for
everyone and not try to ‘make over’ the other.
Becoming a Caregiver to Ageing Parents The chances of becoming a caregiver increase

through middle age. One of the toughest tasks in ageing families is providing long term care
to an ageing parent. There is a role reversal, the parent now becomes a child to be cared for.
A frail, disabled or cognitively challenged older person can tax family resources. Unlike
caring for infants and children, elder care is emotionally and physically taxing. As people
grow old, the level of dependence increases. Physical frailty and disability increases the
caring burden. If there is cognitive decline or dementia, then the behavioural problems of the
person add to the difficulty of caring. The world over, caregiving is mostly a female function.
This is called ‘femmisation of caring’. When older people become infirm, the burden may
strain the relationship. Many find the task a physical, emotional and financial burden. It is
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hard for women who work outside to assume added caregiving role. Emotional strain may
come not only from care giving itself but from the need to balance it with other aspects of
caregiver’s life such as marital relationship, work responsibility, personal interest, health etc.
People of the middle generation may be caught in a squeeze between the competing needs
and limited resources and strains. Caregiver stress and burnout refers to a physical, mental
and emotional exhaustion that affects adults who care for aged relatives. A number of
variables will influence how caring for elder will affect family functioning. These include the
quality of relationship between caregiver and receiver; family values and interaction process;
and shared versus independent living arrangements. Families need to plan for long term
caregiving.
Neglect and Abuse
Family violence is not new. Spouse and child abuses have been serious social problems since
a long time. In recent years, abuse of elders in families and institutions is coming to light.
Broadly, elder abuse has been defined as infliction of physical, emotional, financial, sexual
and psychological harm on an older adult. Neglect and verbal abuse appear to be more
common in India than physical and sexual abuse. Elder abuse is often invisible because it is
treated as family affair, it occurs in private, there is inadequate detection and people are
reluctant to complain against their own children. Older widows are especially more
vulnerable.
Some likely causes of elder abuse are:
• Pathological caregiver: Hostile, cruel person in-charge of old person,

• Life crisis: Caregiver is exhausted by life stress,
• Socialisation of aggression: People learn violence from parents or siblings,
• Intergenerational conflict,
• Dependency of the old person, and
• Incompetent or inexperienced caregiver.
Counselling Issues Counselling services for elderly is relatively new. Counselling

intervention helps deal with older people’s problems. It helps families deal with several
intergenerational issues. Grief, depression and low satisfaction in ageing persons require
psychological assistance. Some areas of counselling are:

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1) Counselling the caregivers: This helps caregivers to plan for quality care, avoid stress
and also maintain their own physical and mental health.
2) Counselling the family for dementia care: In view of the demand for prolonged care and
the progressive nature of the disease, counselling is essential.
3) Counselling for intergenerational problems: Here treating the family as the client,
counsellor helps work out the family dynamics.
4) Counselling for prevention of elder abuse: This involves early detection and prevention
of abuse. Work is carried out both with the abused and the abuser.
5) Counselling for healthy ageing: Old people can be helped to maintain healthy life style
and avoid problems.
The principles and methods of counselling are the same. In geriatric counselling, apart from
the usual methods, the following methods are also used.
1) Reminiscence and life review: This involves deliberately focusing the consciousness on
past events to help reinterpretation of life.
2) Validation therapy: It is useful in cases of dementia. Counsellor validates the feelings

and needs behind the distorted perceptions of the confused client.
3) Training in mentoring and volunteering to provide meaningful roles for the lost ones.
4) Cognitive retraining for people experiencing cognitive decline.
Summary
Families, like individuals, go through different stages of development. Midlife families are
often described as launching pads or empty nests. As grown up children become independent,
the task of parenting has to be given up. In late life, families shrink due to death of a partner.
Adjustments need to be made to accommodate such changes. There are several theories
which try to explain the psychosocial changes in midlife. While disengagement theory
considers gradual withdrawal from society functional as people age, activity and continuity
theories advocate maintaining the previous active life style as leading to adjustment. Erikson
considered generativity — being productive — as an important midlife concern. In late
adulthood, integrity- making sense or meaning of life helps people face their mortality.

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Family dynamics change with age. In midlife families, people need to come to terms with
their increasing dependence, sexuality of their children, decline in health and fitness and cope
with bereavement and grief. Becoming grandparents, caregivers to elders or care recipients
due to illness are issues in the ageing family. Counselling interventions help in dealing with
caregiving stress, prevention of elder abuse and also to promote positive or productive
ageing.

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CHAPTER-4
Family and Children

Child as an essential segment of human society is the most valuable natural resource. The
childhood shows the man as the morning shows the day. Child is the main constituent of any
future generation and a childless society will be wiped out in a near future. The nation in
which children bom and grow with due care of both family and state, with quality education,
without child labour and abuse, without gender bias, that nation would take a big leap in its
development as children are Precious and Crown Jewels not only of a family but also of the
nation. Today’s child is tomorrow’s hope and today’s child development is tomorrow’s
national development.
Minds of children are like wet cement and what we inculcate mainly in the atmosphere of
family are permanent inscriptions in their minds throughout their lives, either good or bad. As
we cannot make straight bend of a tree, if we fail, when it was a sibling, a child too, unless to
be bom and brought up in a family atmosphere of values, culture, tradition and morals,
particularly, at the initial stages of life, it is difficult to mould at later stages of life and there
is no substitution for an ideal-family to achieve all these. Thus, family is supreme so far as
child development is concerned.
This chapter addresses the process of child development, factors coordinating child
development, importance of conjugal relations between wife and husband and the impact of
their pious minds during their conjugal life. The influence of mother, father, and siblings on
child development, effect of abuse on child development and the prime role of family in the
comprehensive child development are discussed in detail.
Rallying Points on Children-Role of Family

Neglect &Ignorance:
They are every where but invisible

They are fragile but indulged in hazardous work
They are innocent but introduced to prostitution and

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They are our sons and daughters pornography

They are our brothers and sisters but molested and raped
They have feelings but sexually abused
They have bright faces but they’re stolen by us
They have lungs but they’re darkened by coal factories
They have fingers but they’re spoilt by cotton factories
They have hope but they’re eaten by chemicals/pesticides
They go not for excursions but it’s undermined by us
They pick rags not for leisure but to work places like factories to expire
They work not for their future but for life
but to others who exploit them
They are if not at all found - where they have to be at home with
Mother/Father/Guardian/family and friends or at School/play ground-but on roads,
workplaces like factories, beggars net, juvenile homes, brothel houses, footpaths or
platforms, loneliness and where not - They are everywhere-but invisible-who can find them
though we know them-that not by parents & family; that’s why not there a great role of
family!
Realisation & Recognition:

 Child! God has ordained for you, a unique place and purpose,
 Child! May this world become a better place because of you,
 Child! May you be a brighter light to the world,
 Child! You are a special gift for us, you are lull of promise,
 Child! You touch the future, because you learn,
 Child! Fill Your mind with every thing that is true,
 Child! Fill Your mind with every thing that is good,
 Child! Fill Your mind with every thing that is noble and pure,
 Child! Fill Your mind with every thing that is honorable,
 Child! Fill Your mind with every thing that can be virtuous,
 Child! Fill Your mind with every thing that can be praise worthy,
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 33 Concept of Child Development

The protection of child rights is the starting point for the full development of a child’s talent
and potential in an atmosphere of freedom, dignity and honor. This prepares a child to face in
a peaceful and pleasant environment not only the academic challenges but also the demands
of practical life with humanity and makes the individual useful to him and to the society at
large. The young minds are to be nurtured with blend of human values and education.
The concept of Child development as per Swami Vivekananda is that “a child is future father
and mother, future worker and future citizen, since they are the future of the country, they
need special care. Protecting their rights and status are important since they are the
responsible citizens of tomorrow”.
Children herald the future of every society and nation. They are the harbingers of societal
development and evolution. Child welfare reflects how well a society or country protects,
cares for and nurtures its most vulnerable members. The concept of Child development in the
words of Lok Manya Bala Gangadhara Tilak is that to build a new India, Indian youth who
are the future of our nation must have strength of character, the strength to endure-solitude,
isolation and perception and it is that development which helps in building up the nation.
It is to refer in this context the comments by the Apex Court of India on dt.10.10.2010,55
while hearing a criminal appeal filed by the Accused - Public servant of the Income tax
department involved in a trap case under the Prevention of corruption Act, that corruption is
with gross roots in all public offices, by demanding at their choice as per circumstances for
even a small discharge of duty by public servants, the only way out to eradicate at least for
future generation, for not possible at the present generation, is as rightly suggested by the
Senior Advocate Sri K.K.Venu Gopal, to educate moral values and righteous conduct from
elementary school level to the children. It is because an education with out ideology is a raft
with out rudder.
The over all development of a child depends upon several factors. So many things have their
own effect on a child. The environment in which the child lives, plays and educates-plays a
vital role in their development. The qualities of these things they are subjected to, decide the

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future destination of a child so also of the Nation. Learning is to gain knowledge,

understanding and skill. An even broader definition of learning is “any permanent change in
behaviour that occurs as a result of a practice or an experience.”This makes what we teach
our children even more important, as it has the potential to have a lasting affect, in their
behaviour.
Process of Child Development

Child development is a process every child goes through. This process involves learning and
mastering skills like sitting, walking, talking, skipping and tying shoes. Children learn these
skills, called developmental milestones, during predictable time periods. Children develop
skills in the following five main areas of development. Cognitive Development: This is the
child's ability to learn and solve problems. For example, this includes a two-month-old baby
learning to explore the environment with hands or eyes or a five-year-old learning how to do
simple math problems: Social and Emotional Development: This is the child’s ability to
interact with others, including helping themselves and self-control. Examples of this type of
development would include: a six-week-old baby smiling, a ten-month-old baby waving bye-
bye, or a five-year-old boy knowing how to take turns in games at school.
Speech and Language Development: This is the child's ability to both understand and use
language. For example, this includes a 12-month-old baby saying his first words, a twoyear-
old naming parts of her body, or a five-year-old learning to say "feet" instead of foots".
Fine Motor Skill Development: This is the child's ability to use small muscles, specifically
their hands and fingers, to pick up small objects, hold a spoon, turn pages in a book, or use a
crayon to draw.
Gross Motor Skill Development: This is the child's ability to use large muscles. For example,
a six-month-old baby learns how to sit up with some support, a 12-month-old baby learns to
pull up to a stand holding onto furniture, and a five-year-old learns to skip.
Factors Contributing to Child Development

The child’s development and its personality are the result of the complex interaction of
several categories of factors of which few major factors are discussed below.

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Biological Factors
The birth of a child is always an event for rejoicing in every family. On such occasions,
relatives and visitors invariably try to match a few features of the child with those of the
mother, the father, the grandparents and other relatives. This is a common experience
witnessed in all families, and reflects the general awareness in people about the pattern of
biological inheritance of characters in human beings. Both parents contribute genetic material
to their children through the gametes (eggs and sperm). This material carries the information
needed for the development of the various structural and functional characteristics of the
child. The genetic material from the two parents assembles in the child and is expressed
appropriately to determine the characters, features etc., of the child. Even though the child
has received genetic material in equal quantity from the parents, its resemblance or lack of it,
to them varies to different degrees in different children and in different aspects. The
inheritance of characters is not a haphazard event. Rather, it is governed by a set of norms
and the science of genetics tells us about these norms. The child is bom having certain pre-
reconditioning resulting from the parents’ genetic combinations and from the influences
exercised on the child during pregnancy. The biological inheritance does not represent but the
raw material (and just a part of this one), out of which the future personality is built up. The
same raw material may be used in different ways, which gives birth to different personalities.
Belonging to the same species, humans have several biological common features.
At the same time, each person is bom with several biological features that give it a
uniqueness character. Thus, the people’s personalities shall present biologically onditioned
similarities and features.
The role of the biological factors in determining the personality has been representing a
dispute object for a very long time. According to certain conceptions, the role of the
biological factors is considered as essential in the personality shaping. According to some
other conceptions, the role of the biological determinations is ignored. The recent researches,
from the 70’s - 80’s, have revealed that heredity has a very important role in determining
certain features of personality (such as intelligence) and not very important in determining
other features. A child's physical features are determined by heredity. The agency involved
would give all the possible relevant information about the birth mother and about the delivery
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of the baby. Generally, ‘Personality’ is the result of the ‘Upbringing’ while that of‘Physical
Features’ is ‘Inherited’.
For e.g.; A child's height to certain extent depends on heredity whereas at the same time,
nutrition that is good, helps the child to grow his potential height. All values like honesty,
integrity etc are learnt by the child from parents and not generally inherited. People normally
associate ones behaviour as inherited characteristics, which is not true. This behaviour is
acquired from the environment. As far as the intelligence level of the child is concerned, it is
believed by the psychologist that the child's intellectual ability is inherited, but here again it
entirely depends on the environment whether this ability is fully realised or not. The
intelligence, children are bom with, is most often not utilised. Thus, sometimes children may
seem to be dull whereas actually they are not. The family has been regarded as the most
important and basic element of the society. The need to preserve stability and continuity
within the family and to maintain the faith and confidence in each other among couples is
very important.
Swami Vivekananda said that “It is not possible for a bird (family of wife and husband) to fly
on only one wing. He said that a child is future father and mother, future worker and future
citizen. They are the future to the country, needs special care of family and society. Parental
and family affection, attachment and love helps in shaping the child, inculcates affection,
love, feelings, cheerfulness, happiness, growth and development, family bondage, human
values, civilised manners, culture and education. Any dispute between parents of the child
and any separation from affection of both mother and father to the child is inestimable and
non compensatory and it hampers ultimately the good environment for the child’s welfare, in
which the child is supposed to grow and develop with discipline, care, parental love and
affection.
The study of child development problems related to role of family revealed the following
major contributions:
1) Emotional cohesiveness of the couple, behavioural pattern of couple, couple

2) abuses, misunderstandings, bickering, lack of showering affection to children,
3) creating ill by one of the spouse on the other by injecting in the mind of child,
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4) Attitude towards scientific methods of child care and rearing,

5) Education of children,
6) Perception of parents either adopted or natural towards children and
7) . vice versa,
(i) Even for the normal emotional child development and behaviour, the physical presence of
parents as well as their concerted efforts is the essence.
(ii) The parents both or any one of them not taking their responsible role or their away to the
children most of time or even from availability, their demonstration of inconsistent, indiscreet
or neglecting behaviour, mars and spoils the proper growth and well development of child’s
mental attitude and social behavioural pattern.
(iii) The several social studies revealed that

(a) young children who are deprived of parental affection develop an emotionally
disturbed behaviour and are often seen demonstrating aggression towards their
siblings and peers.
(b) they indiscreetly shower words of affection to their children and the same manner
scold or abuse or beat them.
(c) some for no sin of child only to ease out their anger or envious attitude to the other
spouse or for out side domestic inconvenience (from job or society inconveniences)
scold or abuse or beat their children; which impairs the child’s progressive
development.
(iv) It is from various studies revealed that

(a) in the child rearing actions, attitude, behaviour, values and beliefs of parents and those
immediately in charge and care of the children make a lasting impact on the
interpersonal behaviour and conduct of children.
(b) their non restraint in vices, abusive behaviour and conduct and using filthy language
doing shameful, immoral or non-sensual or non-legal acts will have a lot of adverse
impact on child growth.
(c) The study revealed that aggressive parents serve as a model and prompts aggressive
behaviour in children.

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(v) In fact, the environmental and cultural back-ground of parents and immediate society and
place of living have ever lasting impact on child development.
(vi) A child’s mental and attitudinal development shall not be thorn some but flowery. It is
thorns which remain stiff and unbent and flowers which grow bow gracefully, heavy with
fragrant petals.
(vii) Child is the dawn of human race and a bud to become flower which spreads fragrance
for future nation.
Physical Environment
The physical environment has been considered by many older theories as a determining
factor in the personality modelling. The geographical determinism enjoyed for a long time the
reputation of a rigorous scientific theory. There could not be proved the existence of some
causal relations between the physical environment conditions and the personality. In all types
of environment there may be met all types of personality. Of course, the physical
environment conditions may influence certain features of personality. The persons living in
areas that are poor from the resources point of view have a more aggressive behaviour than
those living in rich ecological niches do. The persons from the areas with temperate climate
are more dynamic than those from the tropical areas are. Despite all these influences, one can
affirm that among all the categories of factors influencing or conditioning the personality, the
physical environment has the less important role.
Culture
Culture represents one of the important factors of the personality modelling. The cultural
features of a society generate certain distinctive features in the children’s socialisation. The
socialisation process includes both the specific elements, different from a group to another or
even from a person to another, and general elements, common to the majority or to the total
number of the society members. By using some common socialising elements and
mechanisms, there may be formed common features of personality or a configuration of
personality features typical for the members of a society. Within each society, there are one

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or several types of personality that the children have to copy. In the European cultures or in
those of European type, to the main type of personality are associated the following features:
sociability, kindness, co-operation, and even competitiveness, orientation to practice and
efficiency, punctuality. The family and other factors of socialisation transmit to the children
these features, the conformation to them being controlled at a societal level. Certainly, the
persons conform in different degrees to these demands and expectations of personality.
The relation between culture and personality is obvious, while the personality forming
consists mostly in the internalisation of the elements of a culture. In a stable and integrated
culture, the personality is an individual aspect of the culture and the culture is a collective
aspect of the personality.
In each society, the dominant culture coexists with a certain number of subcultures and
countercultures. The socialisation made within a subculture adds specific elements to the
modal personality features. Thus, there appear differentiated personalities in relation to the
subcultures. One can differentiate the personality of a villager from that of a townsman, the
personality of a worker from that of an entrepreneur, the personality of a Jew from that of a
Turk etc.
The model personality should be understood in a statistic sense; namely, certain traits of
personality may be encountered at the majority of the members of a society, but not at all of
them. In relation to the model personality or in relation to the sub-cultural personalities, there
arise individual distinctions. If the differences are small, one can affirm that the individual
personality is integrated within the respective culture; if the differences are significant, the
respective person is considered deviant.
Group Membership
At birth, the child is a simple being that is contended with the satisfaction of the biological.
needs. Step by step, the child becomes aware of the existence in its environment of other
persons, who if gets to differentiate. Beginning with the age of two, the child becomes aware
of itself, beginning to identify itself by "I". The child’s biological survival is not possible
without the adults’ help, and its becoming a social being is not possible outside the
interaction with a group. The group and first of all the parents ensure to the child the

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satisfaction of the physical and affective needs. Deprived of affectivity, the children are
abnormally developed and they reach a level of asocial or antisocial behaviour. The
interaction with the group allows the child to form its image about itself. If a little girl is
always said she is pretty, she will end up being convinced she is pretty. If a boy is always
said he is a good sportsman, he will perceive himself as such. The psychological and
pedagogical researches revealed the fact that the individuals’ attitudes and behaviours are
determined by the image they have about themselves, image formed through the interaction
with the group. The children taken as stupid by the parents and by other persons around them,
they end up behaving as such, even if they have a superior intelligence potential.
The image the people have about themselves is partly determined by the objective
dimensions of their personality and mostly by the "glass" that the society, the group ffers
them to look at themselves. This "glass of the I" serves as referential system for individuals
during their entire life.
The groups individuals interact with in the process of forming their personality have not the
same importance. Some groups are more important as models from which the individuals in
course of socialisation take behavioural ideas and norms. These are reference groups in the
personality forming. Parts of this category are first of all the family and the peer-groups. The
children take from the peer-groups behavioural ideas and norms. A child’s participation in the
peer-groups has an important psycho-sociologic role. Some studies insist even on the fact that
the peer-groups have the strongest influence on the behavioural attitudes, interests and norms
on the personality forming.
During its life, the individual interacts with a lot of groups of reference. The image about
itself may be modified in relation to the way it feels itself perceived by the groups it interacts
with. Between the ways an individual is really perceived by a group and the group perceives
the way it thinks there may exist significant differences. In most cases, individuals are wrong
about what they think on the way they are perceived by the members of a group. But, what
counts is not the objective image the members of a group have about an individual, and the
fact that the individual perceives or not correctly this image neither. The individual’s
behaviour will be oriented by the subjective image that it has about the way it is perceived by
the others.

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The excessive concern for its own image and the fair to be unfavourably perceived by the
others lead to egocentric tendencies. These tendencies are far more frequent than those who
show them tend to recognise. The egocentric tendency consists of the individual tendency to
be in the middle of all events. The attempt to monopolise the attention in a group discussion,
the attempt of influencing the others’ opinion, of saying the last word are demonstrations of
egocentric tendencies. In different quantitiesm, all persons have egocentric tendencies. Thus,
one can explain the fact that we always remember more easily the events we have been
involved in as main participants or those that directly refer to our person than those at which
we were just audience.
The image about itself serves the individual in pre-establishing some answers in case of some
anticipated interactions. If we meet a friend, we expect that this person should be happy. If
the answer of the presupposed friend is not according to the expectations, then we enter a
stage of revision: we stop the interaction, we re-evaluate the original intention and we try to
clarify, to explain the transgression from the anticipated behaviour. If we meet a person about
whom we think it has unfriendly attitudes and it behaves friendly, we also appeal to a re-
evaluation after a moment of confusion. The process of the others’ attitude internalization,
while forming the image about itself, has been analysed by Mead, who develops the concept
of generalised other. The generalised other is a whole of expectations that the individual
thinks the others have from it. This concept designates the total expectations that the
community or a segment of it have towards an individual who exercises a certain role.
The generalised other designates the community’s expectations, but not all the community’s
members have the same importance for the individual. Certain persons are more important
than the others. The concept of significant other has been introduced in order to underline this
difference. This concept designates the persons who exercise a major influence on the
individuals’ behaviour. This influence may result from the played part or because of the fact
that the individual considers a certain person to be very important for it. The significant other
has many similarities with the reference group; the differences between these two concepts
consist of the fact that in the first case, the reference is made to the individual and in the other
case, to the group. The idea of the socialised I in harmony with the society has been
contradicted through Freud’s researches (1856-1939). He divides the psychic complex in
three parts: the itself that is the whole of the non-socialised instincts and desires; the super I,

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that is a complex of social ideas and values that have been internalised and that form the
conscience; and the I that is the conscious and rational part of the personality.
Metaphorically expressed, the I is the centre of control, the super I is the police officer, and the I itself
is the mixture of egoism and destructive desires. As the society suppresses aggression, sexual desires
and other impulses, the I itself is in a permanent conflict with the super I. Sometimes the control is not
strong enough, the individual acting contrary to the super I norms. According to Freud, the
personality, through some of its components, is rather in conflict with the society, than in harmony.
Freud’s theory has caused strong controversies. Certain components of this theory have been
experimentally confirmed, others not. The indisputable element that has been retained from the
Freudian theory is the fact that the personality is a social product.
Personal Experience
The individual’s personality is influenced also by its own life experience. Each individual has a
unique personal experience through which it distinguishes itself from the other individuals. Even
twins who live together in the same family have, during a single day, different experiences of life.
Life experiences are not easily cumulated; they are integrated. A new life experience is experienced
and evaluated from the point of view ofthe past experiences and from the point of view of the
socialised and internalised norms and values.
In the personal experience, hazard also acts. An individual had, for example, at his first contact with a
police officer, a disagreeable experience. From this occurrence, it shall form a suspicion attitude
towards the police and shall avoid having relations with this institution. All its subsequent
experiences, of the same type, shall be marked by the same experience. Accidentally, the first
experience could have been agreeable and then, its attitude towards police would have been different.
The personal experience is never concluded during the individual’s life. The past experience may be
re-evaluated from the point of view of the new experiences, occurring attitudes and behaviours
modifications and, through it, personality modifications. The modification of the perspective on some
past experiences does not mean lability or lack of consistency on a person’s part at all. The
perspective modifications are normal because there take place modifications of the referential systems
by acquiring new experiences or by re-considering the normative and value sets. The modification of
life experience may cause the modification of the perspectives on the same social fact. The personal
experience has, most of the times, a formative power that is greater than learning from the others’
experience. Even in this case, it is necessary that an experience should repeat itself so that the
individual can learn from it.

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Importance of Family in Child Development

A family in relation to a person in general connotation stands to mean a man and his wife i.e.
wife and husband generally, who are the parents of a child and the brothers and sisters of the
child, the grand parents and uncles maternal and paternal side of the child besides other
relatives and dependants on the head of the family living as joint family. Since ancient times,
the family has been the most important child care in India. A satisfactory rearing of the child
was ensured by an effective, social organization known as family and in Indian culture and
tradition through the institution of joint family and close knit community with cooperative
responsibility for family and child care/protection.
As soon as the baby is bom, the mother and father become attached to their child through
touch-through holding, carrying, and playing with their baby. The world of movement begins
and it is the parents who are the first educators of their child. Parents have a much longer,
sustained and intimate relationship with their child than anybody else. When children are
young they are learning to identify and label the world. Familiarization develops orientation.
Vision is the sense that allows us to integrate all of the things we learn about the world. As
the child’s parents, one needs the opportunity to understand learn how they, as parents, can
most effectively teach their child to see the world.
One must realise that every child is a learner. Besides this, what every child learns in the first
three years of life is learned visually, primarily through imitation, says a research. A parent
teaches his/her child by talking, touching and playing during natural interaction times. One
also teaches by providing toys and ordinary household objects that vary in texture, weight,
smell, sound and colour. The more sensory experiences provided, both one at a time and
simultaneously, during everyday routines and special family occasions, the better. The fact is
that just about all your interactions-playing, talking, putting on clothes, feeding-are natural
teaching experiences for you and learning opportunities for your child. However, children
have different learning styles and therefore, effective teaching approaches be geared to
individual needs. Parents are the natural teachers because they know their child better than
anyone else does and have a better idea of what he/she is ready to learn. They spend more
time with the child. Therefore, they are able to take advantage of the many ordinary events
things that happen throughout the day in the normal course of family life-that are teaching
opportunities. As a parent, you give your child toys and common, everyday objects to help
him/her learn in natural situations that can be applied to other situations outside the home.
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Also, as a parent you must keep on providing opportunities to your child to practice what he
has learnt and a chance to experience the world under your guidance. You act as a role
model. By starting early, you teach your child good habits that will last a lifetime. Above all
involve your child in family bond of relatives and friends.
The family is one of the main socializing institutions of the society. Within the family, the
child appropriates the social norms and values and it becomes capable of having relations
with the other members of the society. The socialization process within the family has many
components: viz:
1) Normative-through which there are transmitted to the child the main social norms and
rules;
2) Cognitive-through which the child acquires habits and knowledge necessary to action
as an adult;
3) Creative-through which there are formed the capacities of creative thought and of
giving proper responses in new situations; and
4) Psychological-through which there is developed the affectivity necessary to the
relation with the parents, with the future partner, with their own children and with
other persons.
Primary socialization establishes within the family only. The socialization established within
the family is essential for the child’s social integration. The failures of the socialization
within the family have negative consequences at the communities and society level. In
comparison with the families from the traditional societies, the family social function has
begun to be more and more taken over by other social institutions like school, cultural
institutions and mass media. Despite these transfers of social competencies, the family
continues to remain one of the main institutions of socialization.
The advantage of the socialization within the family is that, it is obtained in an environment
of affectivity, which facilitates the transmission and the appropriation of the social values and
norms.

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The Study of Child Development Problems related to Role of Family revealed the following
major contributions:
(1) Emotional cohesiveness of the couple, behavioural pattern of couple, abuses,
misunderstandings, bickering, lack of showering affection to children, creating ill by one of
the spouse on the other by injecting in the mind of child,
(2) Attitude towards scientific methods of child care and rearing,
(3) Education of children,
(4) Perception of parents either adopted or natural towards children and vice versa. Even for
the normal emotional child development and behaviour, the physical presence of parents as
well as their concerted efforts is the essence. The parents both or any one of them not taking
their responsible role or their away to the children most of time or even from availability,
their demonstration of inconsistent, indiscreet or neglecting behaviour, mars and spoils the
proper growth and well development of child’s mental attitude and social behavioural pattern.
Several social studies revealed that young children who are deprived of parental affection
develop an emotionally disturbed behaviour and are often seen demonstrating aggression
towards their siblings and peers. They indiscreetly shower words of affection to their children
and the same manner scold or abuse or beat them. Some for no sin of child only to ease out
their anger or envious attitude to the other spouse or for outside domestic inconvenience
scold or abuse or beat their children; which impairs the child’s progressive development.
Various studies revealed that in the child rearing actions, attitude, behaviour, values and
beliefs of parents and those immediately in charge and care of the children make a lasting
impact on the interpersonal behaviour and conduct of children. Their non restraint in vices,
abusive behaviour, conduct and using filthy language doing shameful, immoral, non-sensual
or non-legal acts will have a lot of adverse impact on child growth. The study revealed that
aggressive parents serve as a model and prompts aggressive behaviour in children. In fact, the
environmental and cultural back-ground of parents and immediate society and place of living
have ever lasting impact on child development. A child’s mental and attitudinal development
shall not be thorn some but flowery. It is thorns which remain stiff and unbent and flowers
which grow bow gracefiilly, heavy with fragrant petals. Child is the dawn of human race and
a bud to become flower which spreads fragrance for future nation.

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The child is a powerful sensitive tape that can register and record or pick up feeblest
vibration. He or she is a living computer that projects in fiiture all the recorded programmes
that we feed in. It is all the parents to handle them with care. A ten year old child wants to
spend a night at his/her friend’s house. An authoritarian parent vehemently says ‘no’ without
giving scope for any arguments or succumbing to pleadings. Before giving permission, an
equalitarian parent satisfies with the safety and dependability of the child’s reason to stay
there. Permissive parent unhesitatingly permits, saying, ‘I did not have this fun at that age. I
am a great parent who understands the needs of my child. The transactional conflicts and
analysis among these three types of parents with their children are of three types: Passive;
Cooperative and Rebellious. If the parent is authoritarian and the child is rebellious, the
former uses authority; child confronting it with negative intelligence like misbehaviour,
drama, attention seeking and catastrophe. Parents are of three types: Authoritarian;
Equalitarian and Permissive. Authoritarian parents have clear expectations for how their
children should behave. Like a controlling force, they set the goals for the entire family. They
give more importance to social image and family prestige; they normally do not believe that
there is also a democratic way of handling things in the family affairs. He/she controls the
family by authority but not by love.
Equalitarian parent always thinks for the reasons before taking decisions in child issues.
Permissive parents feel, he alone responsible for his family’s success or failures and would
Probably do some of their work for them rather than left them fail. He feels it is his fault, if
his child gets into trouble, because he did not do his job as a parent. Rebellious children
always draw their parents and siblings into a battle to make their position more powerful and
influential. They develop this rebellious mindset when one of the parents is permissive type
beyond reasonable limits and goes to the rescue action whenever the child is being punished.
Parenting and liberal atmosphere make children defiant, who initiate rejecting the rules of the
house; they cannot be transformed forcefully overnight. There is no other way than both the
authoritarian father and permissive mother changing their attitudes. The best way to deal with
unruly children is the unanimity, consensus and harmony among father, mother and other
elders of the family. If they do not stand in unison while tackling, the negatively intelligent
children exploit the differences between them.

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The needs of a child can be split into three levels at its growing state. Viz., (1) Physical
Needs (2) Social Needs (3) Psychological or Mental Needs. The second and third needs
constitute the emotional sector and need of the child for complete developmental purposes.
The process of development of a child works on a simple pattern: the more the usage and
catering of the need, the more developed is that faculty of the child and thus, in turn, the child
becomes ‘better’ with usage of that particular functioning. If the child has a lot of positive
social contact, the child would develop into a very sociable person. Also, care should be
taken to note that the development process can be either positive or negative and some time
leads to abnormal. And the final out put of what the child becomes is the configuration of the
three levels of growth. Parents are at the juncture of making or breaking the way a child
would be traveling. A parent in all means is the maker of the adult from the child. It should
not be confused with indecision from the child’s part. It also follows a standard decision
making choice oriented principle, but even that basic framework is initially created by
imitating the parents. The framework can be altered with other influences, such as ideology,
socio-cultural influences, religion or other inmate bonding at the emotional level. And what
the parents sow, they sow deep. The children have to reap what has been planted at some
level, throughout their lives.
The parents should essentially know the importance of their influences rendered upon the
children. This in turn also helps the parents, as they adapt their adulthood through the ages,
with consciousness of what they do. The children give to the parents just as much as they
take. The parents take this process of growing, as a responsibility and stop enjoying the
element of growth and start burdening them with the duty of raising the children. This change
in mindset backfires two fold. At first, the children and the parents are dissatisfied with the
outputs and process, as children are pushed into doing what they do not like and parents are
unhappy that their unfulfilled dreams have not been accomplished even by their children. The
second level of failure of this system is that, an internal vendetta is formed and wrong
message about development has been fed to the thoughts of the youngsters-i.e,, they would
make same mistakes as their parents, only with more focus and conviction, that their faults
are non-faults and are actually proper and possible ways of life.
Socially, this is widely reflected with the rise in the number of ‘cultural’ developmental
classes, encouraging arts and oriented hobbies, for young children at the age groups 2-11
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years, where they hardly grasp what they do in their classes. They are made to see recreation
as a part of the routine and are forced to do what they should actually be enjoying as a
process. This condition is further worsened with sudden reversal of focus and interest of the
parents from recreational activities into education and by strongly reversing the poles, they
confuse further. This can be easily seen with three year olds doing a lot of ‘time’ as in going
to one class after the other and ending up not pursuant of their dreams; they become jaded,
aimless and followers of systems drafted by Children’s creativity is bulldozed thus and they
are never allowed to explore life and ideas on their own. They become parts of someone’s
plan, thus losing the love or passion for life. They become mentally resigned and that would
create havoc in their lives with emotional trauma, nervous breakdown, multiple personality
syndrome, the possibilities are endless. They can become very vulnerable to a range of
psychosomatic diseases and affects.
The change in this mental pattern of approach is apparent in today’s India. The mentally,
physically and socially abusive approach is widespread in the middleclass audience of today
who ape the west syndrome. Children have been let down and how they have been let down
still remains a mystery. In the modem scenario, relationship between parents and children is
rusted, a lot of gap prevails culturally and socially and their thinking pattern differs. Unlike
the olden times, children want to be free completely and they want to enjoy freedom at large.
We find an eccentric relationship between them. In many houses we can see the parents
fighting and their children watching interestingly, like watching a wrestling match.
Abusive words used by the parents are parroted by the children in school milieu and society.
“Many children say that physical and humiliating punishment occurs more at home than in
any other place. Children say they do not know where to go for help, when they are hit at
home.” “Children say when there is violence in school they can complain to their parents or
the principal, but where do they go when they are beaten at home? Sometimes parents tell the
teachers to beat the children if they are naughty or not serious about their studies. Some
parents are even afraid to confront the teachers if the teachers are physically or verbally
abusing their children.” Physical and humiliating punishment is common the world over.
What most parents fail to realise is that there is a difference between punishment and
discipline. While discipline is necessary, to educate and bring up a child, it is. also as an

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educative tool. There is no power struggle as norms and limits are set in consultation with the
child. Punishment is actually an absence of power whereas discipline is a tool of authority.
The line between discipline and punishment is thin and when this is crossed it becomes
violence. Rather than punishment, it is most effective when rules and norms are set in
consultation with children. Adults need to remember that you gain authority only when you
give power to children. Most often punishment is the easiest thing to hand out. You can
change the meaning of a positive discipline tool toward a punishment depending on the way
you apply the norm. Children acquire and organise information about themselves as a way to
enable them to understand the relation between the self and their social world. This
developmental process is a direct consequence of children’s emerging cognitive skills and
their social relationships with family and peers. And, the process develops into self concept.
The self concept is the accumulation of knowledge about the self, such as beliefs regarding
personality traits, physical characteristics, abilities, values, goals and roles. A positive self
concept could be developed in a child, if the parents take care of few simple things in their
day to day life. While building a relationship with the child is a first leap in developing self
esteem in him or her, the parents should understand that the child expects unconditional love
from parents. Non-threatening atmosphere at home as well as in school, and nurturing the
success of the child are other imperative aspects in developing self esteem, which induces
self confidence.
The subject of education is close to heart. Education should provide the antidote to the ills
afflicting the modem world. Today, it is equated with the accumulation of a body of factorial
information. It should be designed to fulfill a two fold purpose, the immediate and the
utilitarian, long term and ultimate. The enrichment of the mind, development of the critical
faculty, the ability to understand and respond in an intelligent, rational manner to problems,
constitutes the intellectual dimension. Intellectual attainment, however, is only one side of
education. It may be a sign of scholarship, but not of ‘enlightenment’ or wisdom. Knowledge,
skill, awareness, equipoise and gentleness distinguish an enlightened individual. The first two
of these elements relate to the head and the rest to the heart. The growth of knowledge in the
modem world is phenomenal and unprecedented. But whether there is a corresponding
growth in wisdom which lies in the cultivation or humanizing impulse and respect for values
is open to question.

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The good parent is one who more than half the time does the right thing instead of the wrong.
The best moral compass is parents own behaviour. Out of several factors that contribute to
shape the final personality of a growing human being, three basic needs are absolutely
essential: viz., love, discipline and independence. An excess of discipline or too-much
independence is harmful. The type of love a child needs is the uncritical that builds self-
confidence and self-image. It is not enough to feel love; you must make the recipient aware
of your feelings by your acts or gestures.
Discipline is also important which implies action directed towards a goal to help the recipient
to improve himself from the lesson that his parents are correct and are to be trusted and
obeyed all times. Unpredictable discipline on the part of a single parent or inconsistency
between the parents produces a sense of confusion or panic leads to gives up trying to follow
any teaching. In the teaching criticise the act of child if bad and not the child-For example-
There is a mountain of difference between “you are bad boy for kicking me and kicking me is
bad and I won’t tolerate it”. A harsh word kills initiative. A smile, a kind word or a gesture of
approval will go a long way in their growth. Parents don’t think that their children are the
most defenseless at home and in the school. They are easily suspected. When parents are
prejudiced if they tell lies, they are most hurt when let down, when misunderstood,
mistrusted, when their honesty is questioned or when punished without sufficient reason. A
hurt feeling can surely become a lasting feeling which may have something to tell upon their
character. They are the most delicate living beings who need a lot of support. One can make
or break them. Parents are to discipline their child to recognise reality and welcome their
evolving independence. The independence the child requires is to the development of normal
personality which is the prime role of parents in bringing up the child in the atmosphere of
family.
Young children have a continuously running internal conversation, assessing and judging
themselves, both positively and negatively. “If children think that they will do poorly, then
they probably will. A responsible parent develops positive messages that in turn promote
success.” Parents should choose specific goals for children at various stages as their age
progresses. It includes not only choosing, but communicating and perusing them, depending
on the child’s interests, skills and abilities, without thrusting them forcefully. Unfortunately,
in many cases the communication between a parent and child takes place only when a crisis

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erupts and a crucial decision is to be taken. Parents should put forth their point, pay attention
to their children and enter into their shoes to understand, narrow the area of dispute, find out
what is best, be convinced truthfully and convince them with the decision tenderly. Instead of
developing positive behaviour, some parents always look at the undesirable deeds of the child
and react without understanding the simple fact that yelling at them is the poorest form of
communication.
If the parents are watching the idiot box for hours in the nights, they can not expect as a
person of prudence that their child read in the next room. Through the actions, words,
behaviour and love of the parents, they can direct their children to where they want them to
go. Parents have to show them how to be happy, well-balanced and fulfilled adults, shedding
the negative attitudes by dumping self destructive behaviour patterns and turning up the
positive attitudes. The more time the parents spend with their children, they disassociate with
distractions like TV, Cell phone, Video games etc. The common assumption is that the
difficulty in bringing up a child now a days attributed to the breakup of the joint family and
the three punching bags of modem urban life:
Globalization, Internet and Television. There is of course a kernel of truth to this argument.
But, only a kernel. Parenting is becoming more difficult in the present age, simply because of
the higher prevailing levels of awareness, sensitivity and psychological sophistication than
ever before to which Globalization, the Internet and Television have contributed. The need on
the part of the modem parent is to get it “just right” or at the very least, not to perpetuate any
imperfect parental patterns that she/he was subject to in childhood. As a result, today’s parent
tends to go tight rope walking on a daily basis and does go a little off the deep and every now
and again, confronted repeatedly with child rearing dilemmas that they had no clue of when
conceiving the child. The only way to find solutions to child rearing problems is to seek them
from established authorities on the subject. But for this to happen, the parent has to be in a
state of relative calm. And given the barrage of information, advice and input that parents
today are subject to; they end up experiencing greater self doubt and apprehension than
confidence and comfort. Any parents can get to a zone of tranquility and think of parenting as
a joy rather than as a confusing and onerous journey. Largely because they realise that
children can actually make parents better human beings if indeed they want to do so. Many
contemporary parents fear that when a child comes, everything else, including their own
growth and development, goes on the backbumer and all life centres around the child. This

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does not really have to happen if you respond to some of the cures that your child provides
you and realise that parenting, aside of being a joyful experience can also be a growth
experience.
Depriving children of a loving family environment causes lasting damage to their

intelligence, emotional well-being and even their physical stature. A lack of care and
attention left children with stunted growth, substantially lower IQs and more behavioural and
psychological problems than children who had been better cared for.
In a family where parents are well organised, systematic and performance oriented, a child
too has the same grooming. These family traits he/she follows in school too even though he
may meet children coming from different families with diverse backgrounds. How strong are
the family bonds, will strengthen a child towards his own grooming, convictions and
performance practices. His attitude and approach is a gift of his family. It is in him to further
renew his strengths of family bonds. Important point to remember is in case of weaker family
bonds, outside influences work stronger on a child's mind. He gets confused and being
vulnerable succumbs to conveniences forgetting convictions which are weak due to weak
bonds. So much so that, he becomes a hybrid personality with mixed and unfixed or unsettled
ideas about work culture, friendship, sense of right and wrong and even the power of self
decision is low. What exactly are the family bonds that are so helpful to serve as a support to
a child in his right thinking? Family bonds are built through togetherness-spending time
together whether for praying, eating or even just sitting together and chatting. All this gives a
child a sense of being anchored to his family as well as family traditions, culture and beliefs.
Thus he grows to be a person with his own logic, for thinking and deciding the guidelines
come from the family culture.
Today's nuclear family system has deprived the children getting from wisdom of senior
members of family like grand parents. Even the parents can play a great role. All they need is
time to devote for “bonding”. But the sad situation is that the present generation parents are
over-occupied in “their” activities of personal pleasures, own friends and pursuits of money
for flaunting elite style. The servants or creches have substituted parents. Therefore, the
growth of a child is in the midst of a creche or servant a third person and stranger with no
natural love or affection, thus not a substitute for parents or of the family who got the natural
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love and affection and should have the compassion and commitment to rear the child. In case
of rich families the situation is worse the child is thrown in a “luxury” boarding school, may
be with an international tag. Depriving children of a loving family environment causes lasting
damage to their intelligence, emotional well-being and even their physical stature, according
to the most extensive study of social deprivation yet. A lack of care and attention left children
with stunted growth, substantially lower IQs and more behavioural and psychological
problems than children who had been better cared for. The child too imbibes the same “self-
oriented” attitude of parents with low cultural grooming and along with that he is exposed to
mixed mischief culture of “little devils” from various backgrounds. The ‘TV” cartoons and
shows thus complete the damage.
A new study has found that children who spend more time watching television spend less
time interacting with their family and playing creatively. The study was conducted on 2,900
children of 12 and lower over two 24-hour periods, one randomly chosen weekday and one
weekend day. The researchers compared television use with time spent on homework,
reading, creative play and active play and interaction with parents and siblings. They found
that children who spent more time watching television, spent less time interacting with
parents and siblings and playing creatively, though it did not interfere with reading or playing
outdoors, as is commonly believed. The researchers also found that older children who spent
more time watching television spent less time on homework. With such state of affairs things
are going to slide to the “worst”. It is therefore timely to sound warning bells to new parents
that for the future generation to be loving and talented not greedy and selfish, the family
culture has to be restored, reinvented to make the next generation grow with right emotions
and values unlike the current generation which is already halfway on its spoiling spree and
degeneration. In fact, some parents argue with heated emotion, but also clearly love each
other. Thus, arguing may be an element of their communication style and may be productive
for them. When inter parental conflict is more frequent, intense, and longer-lasting, however,
children are at increased risk for emotional and behavioural difficulties. In fact, inter parental
conflict is a better predictor of child adjustment problems than divorce or global index of
marital functioning. The extent to which marital conflict accounts for differences in
psychological functioning in children has been estimated at 4 percent to 20 percent. When the
family environment includes additional stressors such as poverty or violence, marital conflict
can be expected to have even more significant effects on children. Witnessing anger or

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conflict can be aversive for children, and it is often associated with increased arousal, distress
and aggression as well as long-term adjustment difficulties including behavioural, emotional,
social and academic problems. Children from homes characterised by high conflict appear to
be vulnerable to externalizing problems such as verbal and physical aggression, non-
compliance, and delinquency, as well as internalizing problems such as depression and
anxiety. Typically, however, stronger associations are found with externalizing rather than
internalizing problems. Living with marital conflict also increases the risk of children
displaying poor interpersonal skills and low levels of social competence. Cultural differences
exist with respect to what is normative in the expression and management of conflict. Thus,
the meaning and impact of conflict may vary across families. The conditions under which
children from different cultural or racial groups respond to marital conflict, as well as the
various ways in which they respond are areas of ongoing research.
Some authors suggest that ethnic minority youth may be less vulnerable to the effect of
conflict whereas others find similar results across different ethnic or racial groups. Research
on culture, ethnicity, and race is limited, however, and is an area in need of further
exploration. Negative secondary affects of exposure to marital conflict have been shown for
boys as well as girls, though the results are sometimes stronger for boys. Some studies find
different patterns of reactivity between boys and girls; though it has been proposed that the
variability in functioning within each gender is probably greater than the variability in
functioning across the two sexes. Although no clear patterns have consistently emerged
across studies, some interesting findings have begun to appear with respect to interactions
between sex of parent and sex of child. There are some indications that marital conflict may
be less likely to affect opposite-sex parent-child relationships than same-sex parent-child
relationships.

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CHAPTER-5
Mothers’ Role in Child Development

Yadhamatara, masritya, sarvegeevanti, Jantavahah- it is to mean, all living beings form and
develop in mother's womb and after birth being brought up under mother's care & affection.
Jagatir-nasti, Matru-samo-Guru- it is to mean, there is no one to a child, equal to a mother in
the world.
Matraa-bhavathu sum-mana- it is to mean, the first duty ot a child is to see that his mother
shall be happy in life from his behaviour, acts and deeds with wisdom. Maanayati Sa Maata-
it is to mean, mother is the only person who can provide life with human values to a child in
the earth.
Sahastrantu Pitnm, Maata Gouravenaathi Richyate- it is to mean mother is such a greater, to

say for her even thousand fathers are not equal or substitute to a mother. Motherhood is a
very important part, not only of child but also of women. It is not only according to our myths
but also from latest trends of scientific developments, inventions and studies confirming our
Indian-mythology that learning begins to a child right from her formation as human being in
the mother's womb.
Scientists of United States have discovered that unborn babies can hear and learn a discovery
that may give credence to a description in Mahabharata that Abhimanyu learnt secrets of
warfare while in his mother’s womb. Mahabharatha says that when Abhimanyu’s father
Arjuna, was describing the secrets of warfare to his consort Subhadra, Abhimanyu listened to.
the conversation from mother’s womb. The US scientists study on hearing capabilities of
fetuses confirmed that learning begins before birth, as per the report on a leading magazine
“Science”. The report says that human babies have the ability to recognise voices and even
poems that they heard before they were bom.
Mr. Anthony DeCasper, a psychologist at the University of Norten Caroline and his colleague
William Fifer, tested ten newborn babies with a system in which the babies could suck a
nipple that was attached to a tape recorder. By sucking in one pattern, a baby would here its
own mother’s voice and by sucking another way, the baby would hear another woman’s
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voice. Babies, Mr.DeCasper and Mr. Fifer found, tended to suck so as to here their own
mother’s voice. They also found that this preference for mother’s voice occurred no matter
whether the babies were breast-fed or bottle-fed and whether they were less than 36 hours old
or more than hours old. Mr. DeCasper wondered how, if babies might not just learn to prefer
any voice that they heard from birth onward. So, he and his colleagues Phyllis Prescott asked
six men to participate in another experiment. The report says these men, who had been
present at the birth of their baby daughters, were asked to talk to their babies as much as
possible. By the time the test began, five of the men had spent about four hours each talking
to their daughters and one had spent ten hours. The scientists found “those babies had
negligible contact with male voice. Further studies indicate that these babies could not
discriminate between male voices. They just did not seem to especially prefer to hear the
voices of their own father when they are two days old. However, within a few weeks they did
prefer to hear their father’s voice. The scientists thus conclude that “it looked like auditory
preferences after birth are influenced by what is heard prenatally”.
These findings have further confined by the scientists when they conducted experiments in
which they asked pregnant women to read about a book twice a day before and after birth.
That is the reason why mother has a significant role in the development of a child.
It is only by the strength of a mother’s will that a child would come up well in life, not to
mention, but for mother and father no one can be conceived to form and grow well bom to
have place in the earth. Hence, one should respect and love one’s mother and after her father
who should be given the pride place.
M-O-T-H-E-R
"M" is for the million things she gives me,
"O" means only that she is growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold,
"E” is for her eyes, with love-light shining &
"R" means right, and right she will always be.
Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"

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Mothers are the first to teach the children the immense value of human life. The mother’s role
among paternal and family role is key to the growth of the child in womb and even after
birth, a child requires mainly the constant maternal affection and warm treatment, for
emotional and social development. Nothing can come close to the love that a mother feels for
her children.
A famous saying states that “God could not be everywhere and so he invented mothers”,
these words are a great inspiration to mothers across the world. A mother for her children
since puts away anything else, including her own comfort and happiness. Not only do
mothers support their children, but they also often hold the whole family structure together.
This role is not always plain sailing. Mothers said to be the cheerleaders of their kids,
sometimes in loud and visible ways, sometimes in sublet or unspoken ways in the
background. Mothers are often the backbone of families. Mother’s job is not always an easy
one. Mothers are symbol of sacrifices for the children and family. It is their invaluable
contribution of the unremunerative hard work with compassion, love and affection that runs
the family smooth and development of child effective. Describing a mother's hard work with
compassion, love and affection is virtually impossible. Mother’s love is countless and
meaningful. Her virtuous kindness is hardly repaid by any precious things in this world,
unless a child cares for each day a mother’s day by showering equal affection to her and
every other member of family cares her. Her deep parental kindness in bringing us up and the
hardships she has gone through will never be repaid as they are priceless. In other words, her
love for her child is endless and indescribable.
As we emphasise the role of the mother, this is not to say that the father is not important or is
less important. What the mother can give to her child and the extent to which she can give,
very much depends on that which she can receive from her relationship with her spouse. If
she receives support, joy and peace from that relationship that is what she will pass on. If she
only finds false expectations, empty promises and frustrations - then that is what she will pass
on. Thus, as we emphasise the mother’s role, this in no way isolates or separates the mother
from the father, nor does it place a greater emphasis on the mother’s role as opposed to the
father’s one. Instead, it points to the mother’s unique role within the family.

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The forming of a bond, or attachment with the mother/primary caregiver is of utmost

importance for later development. Social development begins with the establishment of a
close emotional relationship between a child and another special person in the child’s life,
whether it be a parent or another person. This intense, enduring, social-emotional relationship
which the infant forms is called attachment.
In infancy and early childhood, attachment is shown in a number of ways. Firstly, the child
tries to maintain some proximity to the attachment figure, using them as a secure base to
explore their surroundings. Separation from this person causes distress in the child and joy
once re-united. Furthermore, the child’s behaviour is generally orientated towards the
attachment figure, listening out for their voice, watching them from afar and seeking their
attention.
Drawing on ideas from the psychodynamic theory of Freud and from the study of animal
behaviour, J. Bowlby created a theory of the bonding relationship which develops between
parents and children and the effects on the children caused by separation, death or emotional
deprivation. He believed that children have a biological need to attach to one person and that
they possess certain inborn behaviour patterns such as clinging, crying and smiling which aim
at maintaining proximity to the mother. Such an attachment is different from any subsequent
attachments the child may have and is therefore crucial.
Central to J. Bowlby’s theory was the maternal deprivation hypothesis, which was based on
the belief that if an infant does not sustain a warm, intimate and continuous relationship to the
mother or substitute caregiver, he/she will suffer a number of consequences. Research
conducted mainly in orphanages and hospitals showed that maternal deprivation could result
in depression, intellectual retardation, emotionally disturbed behaviour and difficulties in
forming and maintaining relationships. He believed that such damage was likely to be
permanent unless the situation was reversed within the first three years of life.
Unfortunately, however, not all mothers are sensitive or responsive to their child’s needs. In
such a case, the infant will look to someone else to satisfy its needs and an attachment may be
formed with that person rather than the mother. Of course, not all children have someone who

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can take on the motherly role and many children do actually become attached to their mother
despite the fact that she ignores and neglects them.
There are marked differences in the behaviour and emotional levels of children who have had
secure attachment relationship and those who have not. Securely attached children tend to
have higher self esteem, more positive, less aggressive and generally excel with regards to
their social and emotional health, more able to develop and maintain healthy and happy
relationships as an adult.
Children who have not had secure attachment relationship tend to suffer from depression,
show anti-social behaviour and are generally more emotionally and behaviourably troubled.
Without the relevant support such as counseling, encouragement and subsequent relationships
which are healthy and loving, this most often will result in problems with adult relationships.
The Effects of Maternal Employment on Child Development

Maternal deprivation perspective suggests that separation from parents can have the
potentially harmful effects on the development of attachment among young infants. The
theoretical importance of the care giver’s emotional and physical availability during the first
year of life raises the question of whether early maternal employment and/or child care
prevent infants from forming a bond with the parents and undermine the mother’s ability to
provide sensitive and responsive care.
The inconsistent findings indicate that maternal employment per se does not predict the
child’s development and call attention to the potential role of individual variations in
maternal and family characteristics more particularly when there is somebody in the family to
take care off. One important factor appears to be only beliefs and attitudes about
employment. Families and children are not always advantaged just because the mothers stay
home all the time.
In order to fully understand the role of maternal employment in parenting and children’s
development, these factors need to be taken into account. Hence there are no “main effects”
of maternal employment on parenting or children’s development. One of the rationales for the

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assumption of negative effects of mothers’ working is based on maternal deprivation

perspective. According to this view, employed mothers spend less time with their children
and lose many opportunities for interaction; therefore the parent-child relationship is less
stable and secure than that of a non-working mother and child.
However, it may be a myth that stay-at-home mothers spend more quality time with children.
Mothers who work definitely have less time to spend with their children, but that does not
mean that they have less quality time. Even though employed mothers spend less time caring
for their children than do unemployed mothers, they seem to compensate for lost time by
spending more time with their children during non-working hours, evenings, weekends and
by spending the time more intensively paying attention to the child. For example, employed
mothers interact more with their infants during the evening hours than nonemployed mothers.
A number of studies show that the quality of interaction between a mother and her child is
often better among employed mothers than among unemployed mothers in terms of warmth,
sensitivity, coercion and responsiveness. For example, mothers who used nonmatemal child
care for their children provided different patterns of care than mothers who did not use child
care. They spent their time with their children in more social interaction, such as
communication, soothing, proximity and emotional exchanges, during nonworking hours than
did the mothers of home-only toddlers.
Different patterns of care were also found in the parent-child relationships of school-age
children. Both parents in employed-mother households with school-age children engage in
reading or homework activities more frequently than the parents in the households where
mothers did not work.
Employed mothers talked more to their children and showed more positive interactions than
did full-time homemaker. Aronson and Huston’s analyses of data from NICHD Study of
Early Child Care revealed that working mothers spent more time in paid work and less time
in other activities than did fulltime home mothers. However, proportionally, they reduced
their time in household, leisure, organizational and social activities more than time spent
engaged in infant care. Even though employed mothers had less time for infant care, they
compensated for the time lost by increasing the proportion of social interaction time in the
total time with the child. Employed mothers spent a higher proportion of the total time in

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social interaction with infants and a lower proportion in instrumental child care such as
changing and feeding than did nonworking mothers.
Collectively, there is not consistent support for the notion that children of employed mothers
lose an important part of their relationship with their mothers because they spend less time
with their own mothers and more time with other caregivers. It does not appear that maternal
employment itself harms the quality of mother-child relationship. Many working mothers try
to make the best use of their limited time by pending time with their children rather than in
other activities and more in quality interaction rather than in physical child care activities.
And nonworking mothers do not generally spend all of their available time in quality
interactions with their children. Whether mothers are employed or not, a range of contextual
factors determines the quality of the mother-child relationship. It is worthwhile to take into
account the factors that moderate the effects of mothers’ employment status on their
parenting and their interaction with the child. For example, mothers’ satisfaction with the
roles or psychological well-being can affect the size and direction of the effects of
employment status on the mother-child relationship. Regardless of employment status,
mothers’ feelings about their roles predict their psychological well-being, which, in turn
affects the quality of mother-child interaction and parenting.
L.W. Hoffman and L.M. Youngblade found that among working class families .with third-
grade children, maternal employment predicted less depressive mood for mothers, which in
turn predicted more positive parenting behaviours and better quality of motherchild
interactions. Employed mothers’ positive parenting behaviours and motherchild interaction
then predicted better peer relationship skills and fewer teacher-rated behaviour problems.
Other studies investigated maternal well-being and mother-child relationships as both

mediators and moderators of the relations between nonmatemal care and child
socioemotional outcomes. In J. Belsky’s study on the effects of the amount of nonmatemal
care on children’s socioemotional development, the quality of parenting mediated the
negative effects of intensive nonmatemal care on 3- to5- year-old boys’ externalizing
behaviour problems. When parenting was considered, the negative effects child care on
externalizing behaviour were eliminated. In the previous analyses of the NICHD Study of
Early Child Care, maternal sensitivity moderated the effects of nonmatemal care on

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socioemotional development of children. When maternal sensitivity was low, greater amount
of nonmatemal care increased the risk of insecure ambivalent attachment, but when
sensitivity was moderate or high, there was no association between nonmatemal care and
insecure attachment.
Overall the observation is that maternal employment does not solely and directly influence
children. Rather, mothers’ well-being and the quality of mother-child relationship mediate the
effects of maternal employment on children’ development. Depending on the family’s needs,
mothers’ preferences and cultural background, maternal employment could enhance or
damage maternal well-being and positive parenting, which, in turn, influence developmental
outcomes of children. When employment or nonemployment improves mothers’ well-being
and the mother-child relationship, there are likely to be positive effects on children. When
employment or nonemployment is a stressor, it generates lower maternal well-being and
quality of motherchild interaction and the effects on children can be negative.

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CHAPTER-6
Father’s Role in Child Development

In the past, psychologists studying the development of children focused almost exclusively
on child’s relationships with mother. Today, they have come to agree that father plays a
unique and crucial role in nurturing and guiding children’s development. Many experts now
believe that father can be just as nurturing and sensitive with his babies as mother. As the
children grow, father takes on added roles of guiding their children’s intellectual and social
development. Even when a father is just playing with his children, he is nurturing their
development.
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond
consistently, promptly and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals. As a baby
develops a relationship with his or her mother and father, he comes to prefer them to other
adults, in a process known as attachment. Psychologists agree that babies with secure
attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-
adjusted children and adults.
Mothers tend to be relied upon more than fathers for the comfort and security components of
attachment, primarily because they are usually the infant’s main caregiver. Babies also form
attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies’ bids for
attention as mothers. When fathers spend more time with their babies, they get to know
exactly what each of their baby’s signals mean. This familiarity allows fathers to respond
sensitively, meaning that they know when their baby is hungry rather than when he just wants
a change of scenery. The effects of attachment on children are broad and long-lasting. For
example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy –
the ability to see a situation from another person’s viewpoint - if they had secure attachments
to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognise how other children felt
and took steps to make them feel better.
Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to investigate the world, manipulate objects,
and explore physical relationships. However, mothers and fathers have different styles of
relating. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and
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snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting
their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow
older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating
and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development
of the baby’s brain and can have lasting effects on children’s social, emotional and
intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of
thinking skills and brain development.
Both the mother and the father are important to an infant’s development in special ways. For
example, in one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate
and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children. Mothers
influenced their sons’ popularity through a different route, by providing verbal stimulation.
When babies become toddlers, parents must go beyond nurturing them and begin to address
two additional needs: supporting their toddler’s exploration and setting appropriate limits for
the child. Through playing with their toddlers, fathers take a special role in achieving these
two goals. Children learn from them how to solve problems and how to get along with others.
Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers
do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind
of play. Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become
salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play.
When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing
a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with
others. Through rough-and-tumble play, fathers create obstacles for their children and
demand respect for limits and boundaries. At the same time, they challenge their children and
encourage them to explore their own strength, their ability to do new things, and their impact
on the world around them. Toddlers who must work out for themselves how to achieve goals
- such as retrieving a ball that is just out of reach in thenfather’s hand or wrestling their father
to the ground - are practicing important problemsolving skills. In fact, when fathers are good
at playing with their young children, these children score higher on tests of thinking and
problem-solving skills.

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Playing with fathers also helps children develop emotional knowledge, so that they can
identify their own emotions, acknowledge the emotional experiences of others, ability to
express emotions responsibly and control their behaviour. To understand how much
emotional regulation develops during early childhood, one can picture a toddler in the midst
of an angry temper tantrum, holding his breath until he gets his way. Contrast this with a
four-year-old who feels frustrated that the rain has ruined his plans to play football, yet
moves beyond those feelings and engages in a board game with his sister instead. When
children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more
popular with other children.
The father’s influence on emotional development is not limited to play, but also comes
through direct teaching and daily interaction. Studies have shown that, when fathers are
affectionate and helpful, their children are more likely to get on well with their brothers and
sisters.107 When children have fathers who are emotionally involved – that is, they
acknowledge their children’s emotions and help them deal with bad emotions - they score
higher on tests of ‘emotional intelligence’. Moreover, they tend to have better relationships
with other children and behave less aggressively. Fathers’ involvement in their young
children’s care can even last well into adulthood. Mothers seem to have much less impact in
this area of emotional regulation and peer relationships than fathers. It really is fathers who
can have a major influence on helping their children build strong social relationships during
childhood and later in life.
As children reach school age, they begin to grapple with learning more adult-like skills,
testing them out in new environments, and dealing with the feelings evoked by successes and
failures. A sense of industry, or a belief that he or she can accomplish a goal or master a skill,
is important to a child’s developing sense of self-esteem. Fathers seem to be key teachers in
this area. As one expert puts it, ‘the quality of the father’s involvement during this period is a
crucial factor in determining whether the child develops the confidence and competence to
meet new challenges in a positive manner.
One reason that fathers have such an influential role at this time is because they tend to
challenge their children to try new experiences and to become more independent. Challenged

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children have more opportunity to develop problem-solving skills. In one study, children
whose fathers expected them to handle responsibilities, such as carrying scissors, crossing the
street, or taking a bath alone, scored higher in tests of thinking skills. Accomplishing tasks at
this age is so important, and fathers’ involvement is so crucial, that fathers have a larger
influence on their children’s self-esteem at this age than do mothers.
By encouraging children to take on new challenges, fathers help them not only to learn new
skills, but also to take responsibility for their own actions. Fathers with a strong commitment
to their family provide a model of responsible behaviour for their children. These children
have an internal sense of control, which means that they are more likely to believe that their
successes and failures are due to their own efforts rather than due to external factors. These
children tend to take more responsibility for their actions and rarely blame others for their
mistakes.
Fathers usually have a positive influence on their children’s sense of industry, competence,
and responsibility. However, if a father discourages his children and intrudes on potential
learning situations by being too restrictive or imposing his own solutions, he will have a bad
influence on his children. Whether this type of paternal behaviour is motivated by a desire to
protect his child, by feelings of impatience or frustration, or by his lack of trust in the child, it
can hamper children’s development of creativity, motivation, and problem-solving skills,
making them less responsible and more dependent.
Generally speaking, the more actively involved and interested a father is in his children’s care
and education, the more intellectually developed his children are. Why should this be the
case? One reason is that, when fathers are involved, they tend to provide better economic
support for their children. Children with better economic support have access to more
educational resources and have better opportunities to learn. For example, in two-parent
families, the more the father earns, the better his children do at school, even when mothers’
earnings are taken into consideration.
Another reason that fathers influence intellectual development is that, when their children are
school-aged, fathers spend a good deal of time helping them with studies. This level of
commitment has an impact on children’s academic success. In one study, four- and five-year-

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old boys scored higher in maths tests when fathers encouraged skills like counting and
reading. In another study, the level of a father’s involvement in his child’s academic studies
predicted success later in life. One expert even found that the amount of time fathers spend
with their children has a direct link with the skills. The influence fathers have on their
children’s intellectual development is not limited specifically to helping with school work.
Fathers can have a positive influence on their chidren’s thinking skills by participating in
social activities and sports as study found that children encouraged them in sport and fitness
activities were more successful in school and in their careers later in life. This held true for
daughters as well as sons. A father’s involvement during his children’s school years has other
positive outcomes. The first years of school can be difficult for children, but fathers can help
their children adjust."1 When fathers are supportive, their children have fewer problems at
school such as excessive absence or poor exam results. This holds true even after taking into
consideration the influence of the children’s mothers. Even when fathers provide only limited
attention, warmth, and affection, and are not around all of the time, their children benefit
from their influence in terms of adjusting to new experiences, having stable emotions, and
knowing how to get along with others. For children with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity
Disorder (ADHD), supportive fathers can have a stronger positive influence on their
adjustment to school than mothers.
Moral development is another area where fathers have special influence. How do fathers
influence their children’s moral development? First, by directly providing guidance and
direction. When fathers share their plans, activities, and interests, their children are better
behaved in school. When fathers emphasise how behaviour can affect other people’s feelings,
their school-aged daughters are regarded as very unselfish by classmates. The mere presence
of a father helped boys in one study to develop patience by waiting for things they wanted.
These children chose to delay a small reward of sweets for a week in order to receive a larger
reward of sweets. Fathers also influence their children’s moral development by providing
models for their children. In one study, boys who felt similar to, admired and wanted to
resemble their fathers scored higher on tests of personal moral judgment, moral values, and
rule-following. However, boys who did not identify strongly with their fathers showed
reluctance to accept blame or guilt when they misbehaved. These boys also tended to have
problems with self-control and were more aggressive in school. The father’s special influence
on his school-aged children’s development of personal morality lasts into adulthood. Adults

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whose fathers had been highly involved when they were children were more tolerant and
understanding and engaged in more socially responsible behaviour than those with less
involved fathers.
One of the main tasks for adolescents and teenagers is to develop their personal identity and
deepen their relationships with their friends, while also maintaining a strong connection to
their families. Teenagers spend more time away from their parents and look to their friends
for cues on how to dress and which parties to go to. However, mothers and fathers continue
to have a strong influence, especially upon their children’s beliefs, values, and plans for the
future. Adolescence is often a time of increased conflict between children and their parents,
especially their mothers. This might be because teenagers spend more time with their mothers
than their fathers, or because mothers tend to take issue with aspects of behaviour that touch
on teenagers’ sense of personal identity, such as clothing or body piercing. Although
teenagers rely more upon their mothers for emotional support, the relationship with fathers
continues to be important. Teenagers rely more upon their fathers for conversation, advice,
and just ‘being there’. Adolescents who felt their fathers were ‘available’ to them had fewer
conflicts with their friends.
Unfortunately, some fathers seem to withdraw from their teenagers. Whether this is due to his
concern for instilling independence in his children, or due to changes and stresses he is
experiencing in his own life, a reduction in a father’s availability and guidance during his
children’s adolescence can have bad consequences. This is especially the case for daughters.
As noted above, fathers’ involvement was important to both sons’ and daughters’ self-esteem
when they were in primary school. However, for 15-16 year old girls, the level of a mother’s
involvement seems to have more influence. Teenage girls find it easier to talk to their
mothers, which can make fathers feel as if they are not needed. However, this is not the case.
Teenage girls may find self-esteem in their relationships with mothers, but they find guidance
about how to relate to others and how to plan for the future from their fathers.

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CHAPTER-7
Marriage and Continuation of Marital Relationship
There are Sanskrit adages saying:

1. “Swadhayo Dhetasya; Sathi bhi dharma seelayasya bharyathe loka samskruthi"
2. “Santhushto Bharyaaya Bharta; Bharta Bharya Tadhivacha-Yasmirmeva kule nityam
kalyanam tatravi dhruvam ”
3. “Yadhi-stree Narocheta pumamsam na pramodayeth-apramodatpunaha pumsaha
prajanam na pravartate ”
4. “Streeyaamtu rochamanayam sarvam rochate kulam- streeyam a rochamanayam
sarvameva narochate ”
5. “Sakha saptapadabhava sakhave sapta padhaba bhoova; sakyamategameyam, sakyatte
maayosham, sakyaanme maa yoshtaha ”
All to mean the wife and husband if lead conjugal life one of the components of
gruhastasrama with moral values and with love and affection to each other for the bond life
long, they give birth to a child with moral values and bread up as an upright conduct person
useful for society. The male and female abide by principles of dharma in achieving Kama and
Ardha will certainly attain Moksha. Thus, there is at every stage in human life; purification of
mind, thoughts, soul and actions for the upliftment of dharmawith righteous character,
without which there is no value to life and bond of man and wife. The mother and father in
giving birth to a child thereby play prominent role.
Marriage is a social institution. From ancient times in India, marriage has been strictly
regulated by both customary law and religious practice. Later the institution of marriage and
other aspects touching the marital relationship and the off springs, their status, rights,
property, privileges and other allied aspects are regulated by several legislative provisions in
the areas of necessity, however, by saving to the extent possible the customary law to the
extent of the custom in prevalence. In fact, the institution of marriage is not a mere
contractual outcome particularly among Hindus. It is sacramental and the performance of
marriage is by observance of several sacred ceremonies for continuation of the sacred bond of

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the couple and getting of healthy children and their upbringing in the family atmosphere
under the parental and elderly care within the environment, custom and culture to make a
good citizen with all samskara and equipment of moral values as a meaningful and useful
citizen.
Ancient Hindu Law recognised the continuation of the marital relationship for ever once the
bond of marriage entered with all religious ceremonies and it no whereft provided separation
of the couple or divorce between the spouses, as the consequences are deleterious and
irreparable and irretrievable like impossible to re-unite the broken hearts out come of stained
relation like impossible to restore to original condition a broken (fragile) glass and the above
pictures depict the same theme. Irrespective of subsequent to legislative provisions providing
for not only restitution of conjugal rights among the couple under separation by uniting them
but also judicial separation and divorce among the couple where it is reaching stage of
irretrievable break down from one of the parties at fault on proof to get relief by the other not
at fault. It is needless to mention that despite the above provisions, saving of marriage is our
goal as marriage problems are not confined between man and wife to consider as a problem
between two individuals, in fact, it impedes even the future and progressive development and
welfare of the off springs of the couple. It is to say in precise that the problem of marriage if
any is not just limited to the family consisting of wife, husband and children or the relatives
of the wife and husband alone, it is in fact, a social problem since it impairs the good
relations between the two families of the parents of the disputing couple and their relatives
and by encouragement to other couple, which will have adversarial impact ultimately on the
society as a whole. Apart from it, a normal and healthy sexual relationship is one of the basic
ingredients of a happy and harmonious marriage. Spouses owe each other a duty of conjugal
kindness and its breach is unjust and gives no constitutional protection to complain any
refusal. Even under other personal laws among Christians and Muslims, marriage is not a
mere contractual as it is its own sanctity for living together as man and wife throughout their
life.
While marriage is honored among Christians and throughout the Bible, it is not seen as
necessary for everyone. Single people who either have chosen to remain unmarried or who
have lost their spouse for some reason are neither incomplete in Christ nor personal failures.
There is no suggestion that Jesus was ever married. Divorce or dissolution of marriage is

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generally seen from a Christian perspective as less than the ideal, with specific opinions
ranging from it being universally wrong to the notion that it sometimes is inevitable. The
New Testament holds that sex is reserved for marriage. It says that sex outside of marriage is
the sin of adultery if either sexual participant is married to another person. Voluntary sexual
intercourse between persons not married toeach other is considered the sin of fornication.
Ideas about roles and responsibilities of the husband and wife now vary considerably on a
continuum between the long-held male-dominant/female-submission view and a growing
shift toward equality of the woman and the man. A small but growing number of Christian
denominations conduct weddings between same sex couples where it is civilly legal. A few
others perform ceremonies to bless same sex unions without recognizing them as marriage.
Marriage between opposite sex spouses and their conjugal relationship is thus not only for
their self satisfaction but also to regulate the orderly society, prevent prostitution and immoral
traffic against women and children besides conferring legitimacy to the off springs for
purposes of their brought up, development, maintenance, right of succession/ survivorship in
property rights and heritage. It is thereby recognised that marriage with out sex and conjugal
life is an anathema and sex and begetting issues are the foundation of marriage.
Further, with out a vigorous and harmonious conjugal life and blessing with children it would
be impossible for any marriage to continue for long and happy. It cannot be denied that
conjugal relationship in marriage life will have favorable influence in mind and on body,
character development and disciplined life of the couple and on health and intellectual
capacity, conduct and behaviour of the children to be bom. The absence of which,
undoubtedly leads to frustration and disputes between the couple, eroding of love and
affection between them, but also spoils the future of child to be bom and it definitely having
its adverse impact on future progress of society. No doubt, blessing with children strengthens
the tie of couple with their bondage to the child a common asset and their future hope.
It is for all the above reasons the institution of marriage, whether the marriages are voluntary
on the part of the couple or arranged marriages, is regarded in India as sacramental and not
mere contractual. In fact, the institution of marriage is not meant for mere sexual life of the
couple and begetting of off springs. It is to achieve a pious purpose of value based human
life. It is known as Dharma, Artha, Kamya-siddhi. Dharma in it’s widest sense includes

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Ardha (acquisition of wealth) and Kama(fulfillment of desires) which are however necessary
for human life on the earth.
Ardha and Kama, within the frame work of Dharma have a proper place but independently
they become sources of evil, to mean Ardha and Kama by non-abiding to Dharma gives evil
results in society. Among few, the two great epics Ramayana and Mahabharata are teaching
us that a mere lust for women with out dharma since ruin a man. In the epic Ramayana, Vaali
and Ravana are the examples of such persons who commit unrighteous acts under the
influence of passion and ultimately paid heavily for it. Even Ramayana hinted that
Dasaratha’s infatuation for Kaikeyi impaired his intellect and he is represented as uxorious.
One, who is the victim of Kama becomes highly indulgent and doesn’t understand what is
good and the proper time and place for any action. The effects of Kama are ruinous not only
to the individual but also to society. The epic Ramayana says that even Mandodhari, the wife
of Ravana, lamented over the death of Ravana with remarks that he has reaped the fruits of
his evil deeds with lust for women disregarding Dharma to quote “avasyam eva labhate
phalam papasya karmanah, ghoram paryagate kale karta nanyatra samsayah”. In Valmiki
Ramayana-Valmiki asserts the supremacy of Dharma and maintains that pleasure should be
grounded in Dharma-“hitwa dharmam tathartham ca kamam yastu nisevate sa vrukhsagre
yatha suptah patitah pratibudhyate”-to mean he, who is renouncing Dharma and Artha, who
devotes to Kama wholly, is like a man who has fallen asleep on the top of a tree and awakens
after he has fallen down.
According to him, Artha is an important means to Dharma as main endeavour of man and the
desire to acquire wealth is not condemned like Kama Vruthi; as Charity and Sacrifice which
are the components of Dharma are not possible without Artha. Kama in the narrow sense
means sexual pleasures; in the wider sense it includes all pleasures. It is included in the goals
of life as Indian thinkers considered that pleasure is an essential element for the full
development of man’s personality.
Love and physical pleasures are the natural right of men and women, particularly, in the early
life that can be by association of marriage of man and woman for social order and righteous
conduct, character is the ornament of the virtuous. Kama has it’s own limitations like sense of

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righteousness and character. It is like a healthy and controlled food. Thus, the pursuit of
Kama to the detriment of Dharma and Artha will prove disastrous. Another reason for
including Kama in the thrivarga (Dharma, Artha and Kama), though as a last component may
be-man is bom under certain obligations; he has to fulfill them to discharge pitru runa, he has
to marry and produce children, so that, human survival may be continued on the earth. But
stark Kama-vritti is denounced by the sages and actions performed under the influence of
passion rebound on the doer.
The aim of marriage is thus not even mere enjoyment of sexual lust but for pure righteous life
with highest ideals of conjugal fidelity with love and affection with ability to read the inmost
thoughts of the other by understanding each other of the couple. It all that further reflects the
aim of marriage as not even mere enjoyment of sexual lust but for pure righteous life with
highest ideals of conjugal fidelity with love and affection with ability to read the inmost
thoughts of the other by understanding each other of the couple and to bless with and give
birth to Ideal children for an order, peace and welfare of society. It is such marriage live last
and produce children with righteousness and character as a future hope of ideal society.
Dharma is a social ideal which implies duties towards mankind while observing Vedic laws
which include duties towards parents, spouse, children and welfare of one’s family and
country. It is the norm of action for the world as it is. It involves observance of a great
number of precepts all aimed at upholding the given order of things and performance of
ritual’acts which achieve the purpose, whereas Moksha is other worldly and implies a
renunciation by severance of all ties with family, society and laws and customs regulating it.
Thus, gruhastasrama dharma is the desire for betterment of individual and society morally.
The traditional-cultural attitude towards the child in India, shows not only longing/craving for
children, but a faith and belief that satisfaction of marriage really does not take place until
children are bom in the family. In Hindu jurisprudence, the institution of Sonship was
considered one of the most important institutions. For the phrase, “Sonship” there is a
misconception as if it refers only naturally bom son or it refers only to male gender. Sonship
refers to male and female gender children for the reasons that-Son is called as ‘putra’ and
daughter is called as ‘putrika’ in Sanskrit. The word put-ra/put-rika-where the common word
‘put’ can be found is derived from the Sanskrit word ‘put’ which means

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‘hell/Punnamanaraka’ and therefore Sonship is the one who redeems the parents family from
the hell. The putrika’s son where there is no putra can even save the maternal grandparents
family from Punnamanaraka. The Hindu Jurisprudence never overlooked the importance of
girl child. It in fact outweighed the importance of Girl child when compared to boy child,
particularly in the Girl child importance perspective, quotes in the Vedic Chantings in the
course of marriage that it is by the performance of marriage of daughter, the agnatic and
cognatic hierarchy of the parents families for about ten past and future generations of the
family genealogies will attain salvation, whereas a son can help the parents only to cross
punnamanaraka in attaining salvation after death to mean separation of Jivatma from
Dehatma.
It is there by any crave for only male children or unwillingness for female children or
showing hostile discrimination against female child is highly despicable and it requires a
change of mindset in the family consists of parents and other relatives in this regard. In the
Indian culture, each development phase in the life of child is marked by elaborate ceremonies
right from preconception stage known as garbhadana i.e. first conjugal union of newly
married couple, since one of the pious purposes of marriage is begetting child, then at post
conceived stages of pregnancy-like seemantam function to the mother of the would be bom,
which symbolise the importance attached to the proper and systematic growth of the child
right from child in mother’s womb and prenatal and postnatal upbringing of child. Ancient
texts provide detail instructions about childcare at home. India’s commitment to the cause of
children is thus as old as its civilization. It has been a time honoured belief in our culture that
the child is a gift of god that must be nurtured with care and affection, childhood care and
development with commitment to promote the young child’s right to birth, survival and
development into realty, thus requires special attention, as it is not a mere right to have child,
but a human rights concept. The rights are not only moral and ethical as per our ancient
dharma, but also legal and social, including on the society within the environment and the
State, as per our constitution and the laws enacted; apart from such of those international
conventions to which India is a party, to have the force of law as part of the constitutional
conventions. The right to have a child thus imposes the obligations on the man and woman,
particularly conjugal obligations with moral and legal duty from thencohabitation for
conception of future child.

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The definition of child since includes child in mother’s womb; the right to child out of
conjugal life imposes the duty on the parents from conception, when from conceived to bring
up the child as future hope of society. It is not only the duty of parents but also the other
members of the family as a whole. In the other way, it can be said that, once the parents
intends to avail the right to have child, their duty starts from the date of marriage, right from
conjugal union and conceiving of wife.
Once marriage is performed taking divorce will not relegate the party back to the physical
and psychological and mental status as was before marriage, it is apt to direct parties of
arranged or other forms of marriages to have check list of facts and medical examination of
the required tests before qualified medical practitioners and refer proof to place as part of
record in marriage registration which is made compulsory for all marriages or otherwise even
before that stage to have the same for entering to marriage engagement. It is not only for the
welfare and well-being of the man and wife and to the society but also for the future of the
children being conceived of conjugal life. It is further to make prohibitory and penal
provisions for conceiving child with out marriage by any extra relationship, which is to be
prohibited for social well being. Otherwise, it will impede prenatal and postnatal growth,
health and social welfare and full development of child.
In this regard, there are several elucidative and effective suggestions not properly taken care
of and it requires attention of the State as protector of the society, particularly, the ordain duty
of the State for the development of child. One of such suggestions was given in the year
2007, by the A.P.State Human Rights Commission headed by Sri Hon’ble Justice
B.Subhashan Reddy for legislation to prosecute parents with disease such
Effect of Divorce of Parents on Child Development

Divorce is an intensely stressful experience for all children, regardless of age or
developmental level; many children are inadequately prepared for the impending divorce by
their parents. The pain experienced by children at the beginning of a divorce is composed of:
a'sense of vulnerability as the family disintegrates, a grief reaction to the loss of the intact
family, loss of the non-custodial parent, a feeling of intense anger as the disruption of the
family, and strong feelings of powerlessness. Unlike bereavement or other stressful events, it
is almost unique to divorcing families that as children experience the onset of this life change,
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usual and customary support systems tend to dissolve, though the ignorance or unwillingness
of adults to actively seek out this support for children.
Differing opinions exist on the idea of whether or not long-term effects from divorce exist for
children. Differing definitions of “long term” also exist, but a commonly accepted definition
of “long term” is more than two years while “short term” refers to less than two years. There
is general agreement that in the long run, divorce can definitely have a negative effect on
children. Not all authors and researchers agree that divorce was the worst action for the
children. Remaining in the environment of a failing marriage also has negative effects. Which
is more damaging to a child? “Without access to time machines and parallel universes, this
will never be totally resolved”. Little agreement exists about the extent, severity, and duration
of problems because there is great diversity in children’s responses to marital transitions.
Pedro-Carroll, Founder of the Children of Divorce Intervention Program (CODIP), states,
“Substantial variation in long-term reactions to divorce exist”. Authors repeatedly refer to
divorce as an ongoing “process” rather than a singular event with effects occurring
throughout the process. Resilience of children is a common view. Emery claims that the
while divorce is an “exceedingly difficult transition” for children and their parents, the
“weight of clinical and research evidence suggests that most children are resilient in the long
run”. He continues, “Resilience is the normative psychological outcome of divorce for
children”. Belli agrees that children of divorce do not “inevitably” suffer lifetime. He states,
“No long-term study of thousands of children of divorce from all classes and races in all
sections of this country has ever been made” that supports a lasting damage. Emery agrees
that a major sampling issue in divorce research is whether the sample is representative of a
larger population to which findings can be generalised. Teyber states, “The widespread myth
that children’s lives are forever blighted by divorce is false”. He explains that there is much
parents can do to help their children through the crisis. He suggests that parents eliminate
ongoing hostility, eliminate ineffective discipline, prevent loss of contact with a parent,
refrain from pressuring a child to side with one parent against the other, and refrain from
drawing the child into an adult role of meeting a parent’s needs.
The general pattern he has identified is that five to ten years following a divorce, 25% of the
children are doing very well, 50% have mixed success and problems, and 25% struggle with
significant, enduring problems. Negative outcomes from divorce can be mediated by positive

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parenting practices. E. Benedek asserts that the effects of divorce will end for a girl in about
six months to one year and for a boy in about two years.
Children rebound to average levels of mental health by eighteen months. M. Belli1 places the
responsibility of long-term effects upon the parents. He states, “You and your spouse are the
best determiners of whether or not any long-term damaging effects to your children will
result from your divorce”. Berry claims that if the process of divorce is clean and
straightforward, longlasting effects will not occur. G. Neuman and P. Romanowski164 state
“The truth is, children can and do live happily after divorce”. He explains that from divorce
“invaluable, lasting lessons for your children about courage, independence, and self-esteem
can be crafted”. In a book directed to preteens, Bode and Mack summarise that living through
divorce does not automatically cause wounds that never heal. Like a giant puzzle, the pieces
of life can be arranged and rearranged into a vibrant picture. One can learn from experiences,
grow emotionally, and have a happy future. In a meta-analysis of 92 divorce studies, R.
Thompson and P. Amato conclude that “most children are psychologically resilient” in
coping with parental divorce.
The most notable differences in resiliency occur at the extreme and not at the center of the
distributions. The tendency is to overestimate the negative effects due to divorce. Correlation
does not equal causation, and problems found after divorce may have been present before the
divorce. In cases such as these, the effects are not “consequences” of divorce. Amato cautions
that resilience is not the same as invulnerability. Resilience implies that “kids bounce back”.
Amato recommends avoidance of the need for children to be resilient. Some children are
irreparably wounded by divorce, while the wounds of most heal, even healed wounds usually
leave a scar.
Effect of Abuse and Neglect on Child
One of the heinous offences against children, which are hardly noticed by us is child abuse
and their neglect. The most agonizing fact is most of the abuse of a child is unknown and
unnoticed by the world. Child abuse in any form adversely impacts on the children growth
psychologically and physically. Child abuse is one of the adversities that shrinks the
development of a child not only in India but in any place on the earth. Today children are not
only exploited physically through child labour but they are suppressed and abused sexually
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too. The perpetrators are mostly males. Children are very easily exploited because they don’t
realise immediately what had happened to them. They do not reveal to others though they
know it. Most probably the perpetrator happens to be the well known person or a close
relative of the family. Sometimes they fear the society or their parents. When a child is
abused, it under goes a lot of problems like anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide,
sexual anxiety and disorders, poor body image and low self esteem, the use of unhealthy
behaviours, such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, self-mutilation, or bingeing and purging, to
help mask painful emotions related to the abuse. The crime done to a child is not punishable
once or twice but for innumerable times because damaging a child not only spoils the child’s
present as well the future, but the whole generation and the future of the nation.
Child abuse can be defined as causing or permitting any harmful or offensive contact on a
child's body; and, any communication or transaction of any kind which humiliates, shames,
or frightens the child. Some child development experts go a bit further and define child abuse
as any act or omission, which fails to nurture or in the upbringing of the children. The Child
Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, 1974 defines child abuse and neglect as: “at a
minimum, any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in
death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, or an act or failure to
act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.”
A child of any age, sex, race, religion, and socioeconomic background can fall victim to child
abuse and neglect. There are many factors that may contribute to the occurrence of child
abuse and neglect. Parents may be more likely to maltreat their children if they abuse drugs
or alcohol. Some parents may not be able to cope with the stress resulting from the changes
and may experience difficulty in caring for then children. The major types of child abuse are
physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual child abuse, and neglect. Neglect is the failure to
provide for the child’s basic needs. Neglect can be physical, educational, or emotional.
Physical neglect can include not providing adequate food or clothing, appropriate medical
care, supervision, or proper weather protection (heat or coats). It may include abandonment.
Educational neglect includes failure to provide appropriate schooling or special educational
needs, allowing excessive truancies. Psychological neglect includes the lack of any emotional
support and love, never attending to the child, spousal abuse, drug and alcohol abuse
including allowing the child to participate in drug and alcohol use.
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Physical abuse is inflicting physical injury upon a child. This may include, burning, hitting,
punching, shaking, kicking^ beating, or otherwise harming a child. The parent or caretaker
may not have intended to hint the child; the injury is not an accident. It may, however, been
the result of over discipline or physical punishment that is inappropriate to the child’s age.
Emotional abuse includes acts or the failures to act by parents or caretakers that have caused
or could cause, serious behavioural, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders. This can
include parents/caretakers using extreme and/or bizarre forms of punishment, such as
confinement in a closet or dark room or being tied to a chair for long periods of time or
threatening or terrorizing a child. Less severe acts, but no less damaging are belittling or
rejecting treatment, using derogatory terms to describe the child, habitual scapegoating or
blaming. Sexual abuse is any inappropriate sexual behaviour with a child. It includes fondling
a child’s genitals, making the child fondle the adult’s genitals, intercourse, incest, rape,
sodomy, exhibitionism and sexual exploitation. To be considered child abuse these acts have
to be committed by a person responsible for the care of a child or related to the child. If a
stranger commits these acts, it would be considered sexual assault and handled solely by the
police and criminal courts. Commercial or other exploitation of a child refers to use of the
child in work or other activities for the benefit of others. This includes, but is not limited to,
child labour and child prostitution. These activities are to the detriment of the child’s physical
or mental health, education, or spiritual, moral or social-emotional development.

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CHAPTER-8
Family Budget Management System
India is in a developing phase and there is a socio-economic change in the economy. As we

have entered into a new century, more families will continue to face economic and non-
economic challenges stimulated by technological advances. Developing and maintaining
financial competency for all ages will continue to be a concern of society. Inflationary
pressures, high interest rates, changing life styles, materialism, impact of globalization and
the gradual deregulation of financial institutions have created an environment in which family
finance management has assumed great significance irrespective of the fact that family may
be rich or poor.
The income of the family may be same but the pattern of spending it varies from family to
family and individual to individual in spite of having identical needs and desires. Unlimited
desires coupled with scarcity of funds compel for the need to manage the available resources
for the optimal outcome. When it is scarce, however, careful management is necessary to get
the most from the money you have. Financial planning or management is, therefore, an
integral part of the family living. It is very important to maintain a stable financial household
and is intimately interwoven into the fabric of management itself. Good financial planning
and ability helps in avoiding financial crisis and achieving the definite goals.
Financial management may be defined as planning, controlling and evaluating the use of
financial resources of the family for achieving the family goals. Planning involves developing
a sequence of actions or behaviour within an overall organizational structure. Controlling
involves checking the carrying out of the plan. It includes ascertaining where and to what
extent progress is being made. Evaluation is concerned with assessing the final outcome of
the plan.
Rising prices, ever shooting cost of living has put the families in tight spots because of which
families are forced to cut and plan their budget. Besides it, increase in choices and impact of
globalization is pushing the average Indian family to a point where living is not just a
question of income but also of attitude. This makes the role of women crucial to enhance the

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growth of family. It is sarcastically said very often that men are good at earning money and
women are good at spending it. Today’s women are not just home makers but bread-winners
too, so one can say they are good at earning money too.
Men and women tend to look at things differently. Women have been socialized to take care
of others’ desires ahead of their own. Men are mainly task-oriented and they take a business
like approach to most of the family situations. Women take decisions very calmly and
patiently. When women take decisions regarding money available, credit and savings, they
optimize their own and household’s welfare. Women’s control over decision-making is also
seen as benefiting men through preventing leakage of households’ income to unproductive
and harmful activities.
To fulfil the family goals and improvement in the standard of living women’s contribution
seems to be very important in the family finance management. In this context, particular
emphasis needs to be laid to study the role of women in the family finance management and
decision making process. Also, to what extent women is contributing towards the economic
well-being of the family and herself.
Throughout human history the family has been the safest heaven for all its members. Family
is a unit of any society, consisting of two or more persons living in the same household who
are related to each other by blood, marriage or adoption. It is a unit where we intensify the
contact of members more than any other social organisation.
Family, a microcosm of the society in its natural set-up, centres round fulfilment of the needs,
aspiration, achievements and satisfaction of all the members belonging to it, and this is
possible only when available resources of family are utilised properly.
Today, this prime institution has undergone dramatic changes due to industrialisation, mass
education and advancement of technology. The role of family members, specially woman,
has also undergone changes because of their involvement in labour force. Equalisation of
educational opportunities and employment status are also responsible for this.

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There are number of opportunities as well as restrictions imposed by the technological system
on the family. All those changes are viable sources of input upon the family in the years to
come. These and other technological advances have brought forth changes in the society in
which we live and hence there are bound to be changes in the life style and the managerial
action of individuals and families. One of the important things concerning management is
that it is not only a means of adjusting to change but also results in change. These changes
occur both within the internal setting of the home and family as well as in the external
conditions of relevance for the family and its members. In such circumstances, a home
manager has to assess the inputs of all the resources available to the family at a particular
time and also what should be the output in relation to the inputs and how to adjust the
‘through puts’ i.e. the managerial process to achieve what is required. This is an important
role of management in the changing world.
Today management is recognized as an important discipline based on the behavioural

sciences and applicable in many fields, one of which is concerned with the home and the
family. Recognition of the family as the managerial unit in home management is relatively
recent and the literature has frequently implied that the wife is ‘the home manager or
makers’. Home management centres its attention on the totality of living in the home, on the
composite, plural and common goals of members and the alternative ways in which family
members can be organized and resources utilized so that home centred goals may be realized
, It is the vital factor in every family contributing to the overall health, happiness and well
being of the family. Thus, the fundamental purpose of management is to achieve goals.
Home Management makes significant contributions to family relationship by providing a

favourable background of family living. Although it really takes more than a smooth running
machinery to make home a comfortable place to live in, homes that have a comfortable
atmosphere do not, for the most part, just happen . Another way in which management
contributes to family relations is that whether planned or unplanned, many families’ values
are shared through the managerial activities of the home. The point here is not so much what
values are shared as that of sharing itself provides a common bond among members. It is also
possible that a family or other intimate group might consciously choose the goal of working
towards better group relations. Thus the family would make specific decisions concerning
their use of resources aimed at improving relationship. So home management may be

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defined, as the mental process of utilizing the available resources to achieve what one wants
in life. It consists of ‘a series of decisions making up the process of using family resources to
achieve family goals'.
From the definition of management, it is clear that the resources of family are to be fully
utilised so as to make the process of decision making effective, Every one has resources, but
we are not fully aware of their presence, as a result of which, we are not able to use some of
them at all. Even when we are aware of the resources, we may not be using them to the fullest
extent.
MOTIVATION INITIATING MANAGEMENT: VALUES, GOALS AND

STANDARDS:
Motivation for management comes fundamentally from a variety of sources, both external
and internal to the family and the individual who constitutes it. Key concepts in
understanding motivation in the person and the family are values, standards and the closely
related concept of goals. The term ‘value’ is vague and subjective but used quiet frequently in
every day speech. To value something is to have a diffuse desire for a whole class of objects,
feelings, and or experiences either for oneself, for others, or for both”. Value may be defined
as ‘a conception, explicit or implicit, distinctive of an individual or characteristics of a group
of the desirable which influences the selection from available modes, means and ends of
action.
Goal is an objective or purpose, which provide specific direction for management. It is

closely related to standards in initiating management. The concept standard is a prime
motivating force in all management. A standard, in general sense, means something, which is
used as a measure or basis of comparison. Standards are specifications of values. Just as goals
clarify values, standards indicate the degree or measure of strength of an impelling value.
The term ‘standard’ is used in many different contexts. It is difficult to offer a comprehensive
definition of ‘Standard’ to suit all of them, other than the simple one of considering a

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standard as a measure or a model for comparison. A standard may be defined in relation to

resources as a “measure of quality and or quantity, which reflect reconciliation of resources
with demands .
The Constitution of India has guaranteed the right of equality to all its citizens irrespective of
their sex, caste, creed and religion. Indian democracy right from the days of Independence
has been thriving on these basic principles for the last more than six decades. The national
movement under the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi was one of the first attempts to draw
Indian women out of restricted circles of domestic life into equal role with men. Writing in
‘Young Indian’ in 1918, Gandhi ji said, “Woman is the companion of man gifted with equal
mental capacities. She has the right to participate in the minutest details of the activities of
man. She has the same right of freedom and liberty as he”.
One of the important requirements of living human beings is happy family life besides happy
and satisfactory. Women play an important role in making happy and healthy families, and in
turn a strong nation. Any improvement in the standard of living has to start from home and
eventually it is the women who uplift the standard of living of home. This is determined by
the way she runs the home, the kind of food she prepares and the degree of knowledge/skill
she uses and care with which she carries out her duties and responsibilities as housewife.
Unlike women in previous generations, when many believed they could rely on their parents
or spouse to provide for their financial security, today’s women are taking charge of this
monetary destiny amid a significant set of societal changes.
Among the growing ranks of women who are taking more responsibility for household
financial management, the stage has been set for advancement in all spheres of life. There is
an impressive percentage of women who are setting the pace with good habits, but both
disciplined money managers and those who are still struggling will benefit from the power of
complete and integrated financial tools and smart financial guidance.
Throughout the world, women’s participation in economic activity is increasing. In India too,
women in large number are participating in almost all the spheres of economic activity and

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contributing towards the income of the family and national income of the country. As now, in
this modern world everywhere cost of living has increased, only financial contribution of
women is not enough to meet the growing needs of the families and they are forced to cut and
plan their budget. In such a situation, to fulfil the goals of families and to improve the
standard of living, role of women in the family financial management seems to be very
crucial. There is need for women’s autonomy in decisionmaking process and household
management as they have a shrewd sense of competition, venturism, planning and scheming.
In this context, specific emphasis needs to be laid to study the role of women in family
financial management and decision-making process.
Since education has a significant role in raising the income and status of a family, the
government should make all out efforts to educate the women not only to enhance the income
level of their families but also to make them self-reliant and provide them a chance for
greater participation in their families.
Besides performing routine household chores and fulfilling the emotional and psychological
needs of the family, economic contribution of the women in their household income is also
quite significant. Therefore, the orthodox mindset of Indian society for preference of a male
child needs to be changed. A declining trend in the female sex ratio in India, especially in the
state of Punjab is a cause of great concern for all of us. The government should formulate its
policies in such a way that some concrete results start coming out in this regard.
Most of the women are not free to take their decisions independently regarding family
purchases, spending their own earnings, savings and investments. So, they should get every
chance to reflect their likings and dislikings in this regard.
In this modern era, the ever rising cost of living has put the lives of many people at stake. So,
it is required that women are provided more and more opportunities to supplement the
income of their families. It will not only help to improve the economic condition, education,
nutrition, health, standard of living of their families but also improve their own personality
and status. They would also be able to overcome the financial management problems faced
by them in their families.
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Suggestions and Implications

1. Since education has a significant role in raising the income and status of a family, the
government should make all out efforts to educate the women not only to enhance the income
level of their families but also to make them self-reliant and provide them a chance for
greater participation in their families.
2. The workplace responsibilities and the family duties - both exert extra burden on working
women. They can be relieved of this burden if some reasonable relaxation in working hours
at the workplace is given to them. Similarly, their contribution in their families needs to be
duly acknowledged by all the members of their families. The social organizations can play a
significant role to change the mindset of the people towards working women in this regard.
3. Besides performing routine household chores and fulfilling the emotional and
psychological needs of the family, economic contribution of the women in their household
income is also quite significant. Therefore, the orthodox mindset of Indian society for
preference of a male child needs to be changed. A declining trend in the female sex ratio in
India, especially in the state of Punjab is a cause of great concern for all of us. The
government should formulate its policies in such a way that some concrete results start
coming out in this regard.
4. The working as well as non-working women contribute towards their families in their own
way. But the contribution of non-working women is not less in any manner from that of
working women. This fact needs to be acknowledged by the society as non-working women
often face more problems in their families with regard to income contribution.
5. Most of the women are not free to take their decisions independently regarding family
purchases, spending their own earnings, savings and investments. So, they should get every
chance to reflect their likings and dislikings in this regard.
6. In this modern era, the ever rising cost of living has put the lives of many people at stake.
So, it is required that women are provided more and more opportunities to supplement the
income of their families. It will not only help to improve the economic condition, education,
nutrition, health, standard of living of their families but also improve their own personality

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and status. They would also be able to overcome the financial management problems faced
by them in their families.
7. Support services for working women, like childcare facilities including creches at
workplaces and educational institutions, homes for the aged and disabled should be expanded
and improved to create an enabling environment.

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Family Management CHAPTER-9
Family Conflict and Stress Management
Stress management skills are very important in every sphere of life. Theoretically, stress
management could address several different stages of the transactional process. First,
reduction of stress responses could be achieved by modifying demands, or exposure to
potentially stressful conditions. This is not always possible, but if a source of stress is
modified or removed then the rest of the process will also be eliminated. Second, stress
responses can be ameliorated through bolstering psychosocial resources, for example by
providing additional social support. Third, stress management can target the cognitive
appraisal process, and this underlies many cognitive-behavioural intervention, cognitive
restructuring, and assertiveness training. Fourth, stress management can address stress
responses directly, through relaxation training, biofeedback, and meditation techniques.
Finally, it is likely that the impact of stress management may be reduced by enhancing the
biological resistance factors. Hence, nutritional interventions and exercise training can also
be regarded as relevant to stress management.
Health psychologists view the mind and the body of whole human being that can not be
considered independently. Stress is important for both because it causes psychological
distress and because it leads to changes in the body that have short or long-term
consequences for health. Heath psychologists recognize that good health and the ability to
cope with illness are affected by psychological factors such as emotions, thoughts, and the
ability to manage stress. The job of applying our knowledge about the link between stress and
illness often falls to the clinical health psychologists. From a biopsychosocial perspective,
primary prevention refers to task of preventing the development illness in healthy people and
secondary prevention refers to task of preventing illness in individual who are at risk or have
recovered or have already suffered a heart attack or have high blood pressure.
Comprehensive stress management, whether for primary or secondary prevention, is a fine

example of the way in which health psychologists translate research finding into practice.
They identified several factors that mediate and moderate the impact of stressor. Stress
management may take place within various domains of human life. Stress management
ability of a person is determined by various personal and social factors. In the present

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research family structure, perceived family environment, and working status of women are
considered as determining factors to stress management ability of women.
FAMILY STRUCTURE AND STRESS MANAGEMENT

The family is a dynamic system of interdependent relationships embedded in community,
cultural, and historical context. It is an interaction based unit with diverse and dynamic intra-
family relationship. Family plays a very important role in development of a person and it has
been said the corner-stone of the human society. Family is a universal social phenomenon.
Family is a complex social system in which each person’s behaviour influences the behaviour
of others, in both direct and indirect ways. It is a dynamic and ever changing system. Family
is truly a system, changes in family membership and changes in any individual or relationship
within the family affect the dynamics of the whole. Every individual and every relationship
within the family affects every other individual and relationship through reciprocal
influences. According to Garbarino (1992) family is a “basic unit of human experience”.
The family is a dynamic system – a self-organizing system that adapts itself to changes in its
members and to changes in its environment. The family is also a system within other system;
whether it is of the nuclear or the extended type, it does not exist in a vacuum. It moderates
and reflects the influence of the wider social context. Bronfenbrenner’s (1989) bio-ecological
model emphasizes that the family is a system embedded in larger social system such as
neighborhood, a community, a subculture, and a broader culture
Family systems theory conceptualize a family as a system, means that the family like the
human body, is truly a whole consisting of interrelated parts, each of which contributes to the
functioning of the whole .
Family as a social system can be thought as a constellation of subsystems defined in terms of

generation, gender, and role. Family systems theorists emphasize that no person is
mechanically shaped by the inputs of others. Instead bidirectional influences exist in which
the behaviours of each family member affect those around them. Indeed the very term family
system implies that the responses of all family members are interconnected. These system
influences operate in both direct and indirect ways. The family creates bonds between people
that are unique. Within the family, children learn the language, skills, and social and moral
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values of their culture. And at all ages, people turn to family members for information,
assistance, and interesting and pleasurable interaction. Warm, gratifying family ties predict
psychological health throughout development. In contrast, isolation or alienation from the
family is after associated with developmental problems.
Family has been found in every human society. It is a universal institution found in every age
and every society. Family possessed several distinct features and influences the entire life of
people in numerous way. Family is the far most important primary group and it is a small
social group consisting ordinarily of a father, a mother and their children. The family has
undergone changes emerging from hard and fast social structure of human relationship.
On the basis of structure, the family has been classified into nuclear and joint family or
extended family. A nuclear family is one which consists of the husband, wife and their
children. The children leave the parental household as soon as they are married. A nuclear
family is an autonomous unit free from the control of the elders.
A joint family can be viewed as a merger of several nuclear families. Thus, a joint family
may include an old man and his wife, their son, the son’s wife and the son’s children. The
joint family is continuous, while nuclear family is not. In joint family a person is a member of
residential kin group which has probably persisted for many generations.
A joint family is a collection of more than one primary family, on the basis of close blood ties
and common residence. Alternatively “a joint family is a group of people who generally live
under one roof, who share the common kitchen, who hold all property in common, take part
in common family worship and are related to one another as same particular type of kindred”.
In structural terms, “joint family implies living together of members of two or more
elementary families both lineally and laterally. When a joint family consists of grand parents,
parents, grandsons and grand daughters it is called a lineal joint family. Laterally joint family
as comprising “several brothers, each with his wife and children living together” and the
bond of union is consanguineal. The joint family system ensures satisfaction of basic needs of
all its members. The unemployed, old, widows, and disabled are thus, protected from odd.
Members of a joint family share the responsibilities according to their capacity and each work
is thus distributed.

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In India, people learn the essential themes of cultural life within the bosom of a family. In
most of the country, the basic units of society are the patrilineal family unit and wider kinship
groupings. The most widely desired residential unit is the joint family, ideally consisting of
three or four patrilineally related generations, all living under one roof, working, eating,
worshiping, and cooperating together in mutually beneficial social and economic activities.
The joint family is an ancient Indian institution, but it has undergone some changes in the late
twentieth century. Although, several generations living together is the ideal, actual living
arrangements vary widely depending on region, social status, and economic circumstances.
Many Indians live in joint families that deviate in various ways from the ideal, and many live
in nuclear families as is the most common pattern in the west. Despite of continuous and
growing impact of urbanization, industrialization, and westernization, the traditional joint
household both in ideal and in practice, remains the primary social force in the lives of most
Indians.
Loyalty to family is deeply held ideal for almost everyone. The family structures can vary
widely both across and within different cultures. The average family in America and some
other countries has changed in several ways over recent generation. According to analysis of
U.S. Census Bureau (2006) and other surveys, the second half of 20th century, some dramatic
social changes altered the makeup of typical family and the quality of family experiences.
Beanpole or multigenerational family is one of them, which is characterized by more
generations (three or four) but smaller ones, than in the past.
According to traditional gender role norms, women are the “kin-keeper” of the family and
therefore feel obligated to provide care. Middle-aged adults may experience caregiver burden
– psychological distress associated with demands of providing, care for someone with
physical or cognitive impairments. This simultaneous pressure from adolescents or young
adult children, and aging parents may contribute to stress in middle adulthood. The term
sandwich generation refers to these middle adults who are squeezed between the need of their
children and their parents.

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A woman who is almost wholly responsible for a dependent elder may feel angry and
resentful because she has no time for herself. She may experience role conflict between her
caregiver role and roles as wife, mother, and employed that undermines her sense of well-
being. She is at risk for depression.
The family can act both as a buffer against sources of stress, such as periods of ill health, and
as a source of models of positive coping behaviour. Families may also have a negative effect
on health, through family-role-related demands and unhealthy interactions, especially for
females. This highlights the need to understand how family roles and responsibilities are
negotiated across the lifespan and differ according to societally determined gender-related
norms and power relationships. It is also important to recognize that the family does not exist
within a vacuum. It moderates and reflects the influence of wider social context. By
concentrating purely on internal family processes and family structure, there is danger of
ignoring issues of structural advantages and disadvantage that impact on the family,
particularly at key points within its life span.
Social interactions are intimately involved in the stress process. Emotional support can help
people come to terms with stressor, while information and advice from friends and family are
important aid to decision making. At the same time both interpersonal conflict and the
absence of social contact (isolation) are common forms of chronic stress.
Marriage provides both practical and emotional support. Support from a spouse can even
reduce the disruptive impact of stressful life event, economic strain, and parental depression
on child rearing. Men are particularly dependent on their spouses; women rely more on
friends, siblings, and children for emotional support. Women are more likely to experience
depression and reduced psychological functioning as a result of poor quality relationship.
women were often socialized to develop their sense of self from their relationships or the
quality of their relationship.
As a result when women felt their relationships were poor, this had enormous influence on
their emotional well-being. New York Reuters Health (2005) reported that “feeling loved and
supported by family and friends appear to protect women but not men, from major

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depression”. it was a deep human need to be loved and cared for. Mental health of an
individual would not do well if he was in an environment where his needs were not filled.
PERCEIVED FAMILY ENVIRONMENT AND STRESS MANAGEMENT

Human beings are always immersed in a social environment which not only changes the very
structure of the individual or just compels him to recognize facts but also provides him with a
readymade system of signs. It imposes on him a series of obligations. Family is a social
biological unit that exerts the greatest influence on the development and perpetuation of the
individual’s behaviour. Each family has its own ethics and has provided to its members a
philosophy of life which is communicated through non-verbal and informal means.
Family environment continues to be of crucial importance throughout adolescence and young

adulthood. Environments are complex stimulus packages that vary on many dimensions both
physical and social and may be experienced in different ways by those within them. The term
‘environment’ is viewed broadly to include both social and physical variables; it is further
assumed that these two sets of variables generally function in an interdependent fashion in
affecting human behaviour. Environment is made up of many components that are in
dynamic relationship and that change over time.
In social-cognitive theory, has emphasized the concept of human agency, ways in which
people deliberately exercise cognitive control over themselves, their environments and their
lives. These cognitions play a real causal role in influencing their behaviour and that of other
people. He views humans as active cognitive beings. He holds that human development
occurs through a continuous reciprocal interaction among the person (the individual’s
biological and psychological characteristics and cognitions), his or her behaviour, and his or
her environment – a perspective he calls reciprocal determinism. According to him
environment does not rule, people choose, build, and change their environments; they are not
just shaped by them; nor does biology rule; genetic influences on human behaviour are
evident but cultural forces also change human environment.
The developing person with his or her genetic makeup and biological and psychological
characteristics, is embedded in a series of environmental systems. These systems interact with
one another and with the individual over time to influence development. It has described four

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environmental systems, from nested set of systems, (micro-system, meso-system, exo-system,

and macro-system) that influence, and are influenced by the developing person. He has
introduced the concept of the chronosystem (fifth outer system) to capture the idea that
changes in people and their environments occur in a time frame and unfold in particular
patterns or sequences over a person’s lifetime. The family is primary micro-system for a
newborn infant and the family environment is an important influence on child development.
Ecological theory assumes that human development can only be understood in reference to
the structural eco-systems. The key importance is the principle that it is the perceived
environment and not the so-called objective environment that affects human behaviour and
experience.
Recently added biological influences to his theory and now describes it as a bioecological
theory. the features of ‘healthy’ and unhealthy environments: unhealthy environments are
those that threaten safety, that undermine the creation of social ties and that are conflictural,
abusive or violent, and are associated with chronic stress. A healthy environment, in contrast
provides safety, opportunities for social integration and the ability to predict and/or control
aspects of that environment.
Genes clearly do not orchestrate an individuals’ growth before birth and then leave them
alone. Instead, they are “turning on” and “turning off” in pattered ways throughout the life
span, helping shape the attributes and behavioural patterns that people carry with them
through their lives and changing their activity in response to environmental stimuli. Unique
individual genetic make-ups cause a person to develop and age in his own ways. No less
important are environmental influences, from conception to death. Adoption study must
appreciate that not only the genes but also the prenatal environment could influence how
adapted child turns out.
The family and its environments composed of two major units or subsystems, the
psychosocial and the managerial. These two subsystems are concerned, respectively with the
expressive and the instrumental functions of the family. Expressive activities and the psycho-
social subsystem are primarily concerned with integration, or solidarity of the group, internal
relations of members to each other, personality development and the socialization of family

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members. The psychosocial subsystem is the locate of most of the human resources of the
family members. Instrumental activities and the managerial subsystem are primarily
concerned with goal achievement and with transactions between the group and the
environment. These two subsystems though have distinct functions, are interdependent,
neither could exist without the other. Transactions between them are more frequent and are
more intense than between either subsystem and/or the environments. So families determine
and/or create their own environments.
The ideal home environment is one in which all members are happy, contended and
harmonious, in which each individual is respected and given rights, privileges, and
responsibilities suited to his age and in which there is no dominance by either or both parents
or by older children who are permitted to boss over younger ones.
The family atmosphere is determined by the interrelationships of the family members, the
scope given for individual development, and the family mechanism. Family environment is a
vast term. It includes various components which individually and collectively affects an
individual. Family environment is the psychosocial climate of the family in the form of
interpersonal relationship and attitudes, which influence one’s reactions in life to changing
circumstances throughout life. Family as a social unit is an important determinant for shaping
one’s mental capacities along with their physical and social structure. Family environment is
influenced by number of factors like the nature of family constellation, number of family
members, nature and type of relationship (marital and sibling relationship), education and
attitudes of the family members towards others, parental employment and income, socio-
economic and religious background of the family.
Family environment is important in personality development but usually not because it has a
standard effect on all family members that make them alike. Yet behavioural geneticist have
discovered repeatedly that environment often plays a more important role in creating
differences among family members than in creating similarities among them.
The family environment directly influences the person’s characteristic pattern of behaviour
and his adjustment to life. Family environment also depends upon the community or group it
belongs. Nuclear families have proved to be more congenial than joint families. If family

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environment is favourable, it could make an average person into a distinct personality, but on
the other hand, poor family environment destroys all the chances for success of a brilliant
person.
The Family Environment Scale (FES) is one of the most widely used instruments to measure
many family aspects. The development of the scale is based on the Family Systems Theory
(FST) framework which perceived family as a small group of interrelated and interdependent
individual elements. This self-report questionnaire is used to measure perceived family
interactions by assessing three dimensions of the family and its social environment. The
Relationship dimension refers to the nature and intensity of personal relationships within the
environment, while Personal Growth dimension refers to the potential in the environment for
personal growth and the development of self-esteem. System maintenance and system change
on the other hand, concerns the extent to which the environment is orderly and clear in its
expectations, maintains control, and is responsive to change.
The family environment scale has 10 sub-scales measuring three dimensions – interpersonal
relationships, personal growth, and system maintenance. The relationship dimension includes
measurement of cohesion, expressiveness, and conflict. Cohesion is the degree of perceived
commitment and support family members provide for one another, expressiveness is the
extent to which family members are encouraged to express their feeling and problems
directly, and conflict is the amount of openly expressed anger aggression, and conflict among
family members.
Five sub-scales refer to personal growth dimension i.e., independence, achievement

orientation, intellectual-cultural orientation, active-recreational orientation, and moral-
religious emphasis. Independence assesses the extent to which family members are assertive,
self-sufficient and make their own decision. Achievement orientation reflects how much
activities are cast into an achievement oriented or competitive framework. Intellectual-
cultural orientation measures the level of interest in political, social, intellectual, and cultural
activities. Activerecreational orientation measures the amount of participation in social and
recreational activities. Moral religious emphasis assesses the emphasis on ethical and
religious issues and values. The final two sub-scales, organization, and control, are for system
maintenance dimension. Organization is the extent to which the family endorses clear

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organization and structure in planning family activities and responsibilities and control means
the extent to which rules and procedures are followed and enforced by family members.
The widely used in clinical settings, to facilitate family counselling and psychotherapy, to
teach clinicians and programme evaluators about family systems and in program evaluation.
It can be used for individual and family counselling or for research and program evaluation.
The informations can be used for the following other purposes: (1) understanding problems in
family functioning, (2) serving as a benchmark for evaluating the impact of an intervention,
(3) providing feedback to families as a means to promote change, (4) evaluating how a family
has been affected by a transition, life crisis or change, (5) appraising and improving the
family climate parents create, (6) strengthening families as cohesive units, (7) identifying
risks for various problems, such as, depression, substance abuse, or family violence.
Different cultures perceive their family environments differently. Bhatia & Chadha (1993)
had given following different aspects of family environment.
1. Cohesiveness : Cohesiveness is characterized by the degree of commitment, help and

support family members provide for one another.
2. Expressiveness : Expressiveness is characterized by the extent to which family
members are encouraged to act openly and express their feelings and thoughts directly.
3. Conflict : The amount of openly expressed aggression and conflict among the family
members.
4. Acceptance and Caring : Extent to which the members are unconditionally accepted
and the degree to which the caring is expressed in the family.
Above four subscales are in relationship dimension.

5. Independence: Extent to which family members are assertive and independently make
their own decisions.
6. Active Recreational Orientation : Extent of participation in social and recreational
activities.
Above two subscales are in personal growth dimension.

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7. Organization: Degree of clear organization structure in planning family activities and

responsibilities.
8. Control : Control is characterized by degree of limit setting within a family.
These two subscales are in system maintenance dimensions.
WORKING STATUS OF WOMEN AND STRESS MANAGEMENT

Women are vital human infrastructure. Women constitute fifty percent of world population
and in India women roughly cover half of the population. Women’s life is more family
centered than men. They are becoming sensitive to everyday out of home experiences. As a
matter of fact they are gradually developing self-esteem as it is related to the personality of
their own as human being. The goal of her life is not only to become good wives but to
become successful, efficient and equals with men in many walks of life.
Women of today are assuming different roles besides the role within their homes.
Urbanization, industrialization, modernization, education, and employment which are the
contributions of socio-economic evaluation have provided women with new avenues to
express and assert themselves. Women are career oriented along with the role of home-
making. Modernization, to a very great extent has been able to break the shackles of
traditional women’s role. More women are taking up employment, which has brought about
dramatic and drastic changes in their beliefs, attitudes and values. By trying to combine the
home roles and job roles they are sensitive to many problems.
Indian women from time immemorial, has been the nucleolus of home. Women in a family,
play their role as mothers, sisters, wives, and grand mothers at various stages of their lives.
Her tremendous contribution in household work, child rearing, preparing food for all family
members, look after the need of husband, children, in-laws etc. till date is overlooked and
goes unrecognized. The time she spend for the above household activities and the labour she
puts in is not compensated in terms of money. Whatever it may be, a home without women is
incomplete. Mahatma Gandhi asserts that women have been the pivot of life and all lives
have originated from the women’s womb.
Indian society is extremely complex and its social and economic structure are significantly
different from the western industrial societies. Recently there have been considerable changes
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in the traditional role of Indian women. The problem of stress in women is a new aspect of
the process of social change in India. Women, who are or have been employed, occupy a
unique status in society. They share the role of “being a person at work” with men, but on the
other hand they also play the role of “housewives” once they are back home from their job,
whereas housewives playing the single role of homemaker.
The working woman as compared to a housewife has to fit in multiple roles i.e., social roles,
and paid workers. She along with her career is, wholly responsible for the family and every
family member. Woman plays a crucial role in economic welfare of the family. She performs
complementary and more often multiple roles to improve the welfare of her family. Studies
on household work reveal that the entry of women in the paid labour force has not lessened
their responsibilities to home and family.

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CHAPTER-10
The Changing Picture of Family
The importance of family has never been questioned all over the world. Sociologists believe
that the family occupies a unique niche. In the process of socialization which goes from
cradle to grave, the family is the most influential agent. It is the most intimate among all
social groups and the “basic unit of society” as the bricks in a brick wall. If the bricks in a
brick wall are unsound and crumbly than no matter how well the wall is designed, laid out,
constructed, maintained, mortared or organized, it is going to fall down. It is bulwark against
the hard time. People in strong families are healthier, happier and better adjusted. The family
has a clearly defined position at the place where the developing child meets the forces that
operate in the society. The inner world of child (inborn inherited characteristic) gets a definite
shape and child becomes organized. It helps children to internalize culture and develop a
social identity by providing an ascribed social status to the young members. It constitutes a
favourable pre-requisite for creating a good and lasting basis for children and adolescents and
offers them stable conditions for growing.
Families contribute to the maintenance of society by serving as contexts in which children are
loved, protected and encouraged to develop into competent, caring adults. It is the child’s
first and longest lasting context for development. In the gradual journey to maturity children
require years of support and teaching before they are ready to be independent. It fosters
children’s competence through warmth and sensitivity to their needs, by providing models
and reinforcers of mature behaviour, by using reasoning and inductive discipline and by
guiding and encouraging their new skills. It is in the family that the basic values and morality
are formed, the essential capacities for learning, self - confidence and positive social
interaction are acquired and individuals are best able to contribute to society as a whole.
In the strong family children become aware of their essential unity with all other people and
attain the courage to be truthful and truth seeking and learn to establish a life of unity. Thus
strong families are indeed central to overall efforts to improve social and economic
development that create sustainable communities and increase global prosperity.

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A broad perspective of parenting and delineated four essential functions of care giving
(parenting) –
1. Nurturant care giving – meets the physical requirement of the child.
2. Material care giving – constructs and organizes the child’s physical world.
3. Social care giving – includes the variety of behaviours parents use in engaging their
children in inter-personal exchanges.
4. Didactic or dyadic care giving – consists of the variety of strategies parents use in
stimulating children to engage in and understand the world outside the parent – child
dyad.
The ideal Picture of Family

The ideal traditional picture of family includes two parents (based upon married husband and
wife) and children. Husbands and wives generally balance each other’s responsibilities and
provide a secure environment for children. Each parent socializes a child differently. Both the
parents make unique contribution in the development of child and have an enormous
responsibility to protect, care and nurture the young. The father provides loving leadership to
the family, protection from evil influences and instructs his children in the principles of good
citizenship. The father’s presence in the house is an important factor for healthy development
of the child. Boys look up to a father as a role model and a girl’s future relationships with the
opposite sex is largely shaped by her interactions with her father. The mother nurtures the
children by taking care of their needs, teaching them and building strong moral character.
Family research has shown consistently that being raised in a warm and trustful family
environment serves as a good predictor for successful development in later life. Parents are
not only the providers of resources in the early years of their children’s life, but also the
active managers of their children’s development. They regulate their children’s access to
physical and social resources outside the family.
Now the traditional family has become out model with a decline in stability and losses of
parental authority and unfortunately the picture of family with two parents and children is
fading. Like the world as a whole, the family is in transition. In every culture families are
disintegrating, fragmenting under the pressure of economic and political upheavals and
weakening in the face of moral and spiritual confusion. They are becoming more

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materialistic, more mothers are working and neglecting their children and marriages are
breaking down at an increasing rate.
From a two parent family structure the scene is changing to a single parent family. In
developed countries in the last fifty years with higher percentage of marriage ending in
divorce and higher rate of children born out of wedlock, and number of single parent families
is increasingly rapidly.
In developing countries too the exponential rise in single parent households has become one
of the most important issues of concerns to social welfare workers and policymakers. In India
too the two pillars of Indian society- the traditional Hindu marriage and joint family system
are weakening. The process of industrialization, urbanization and secularization has brought
about the socio-psychological changes in the attitude and values of people especially among
the urban population. Single parenthood in India may be the result of many things. In most
cases it is an enforceable tragedy as in the death of one parent, divorce or abandonment by
one parent. On the other hand in western countries there may be another reasons also such as
many independent youngsters choose to become a single parent as in adoption, artificial
insemination, surrogate motherhood and extra marital pregnancy. Psychologists remain firm
on the fact that being a single parent can be hard and growing up in a single parent family
puts children at risk. Single parents have to bear with added responsibilities, tensions and
pressures. They are left alone to deal with multiple tasks and have to be fathers and mothers
at the same time. They have to take care of all the physical or emotional needs of their
children by themselves. Although they can share their responsibilities with family members,
trusted friends or loyal maid servants but ultimately they are responsible for making decisions
for their children.
Indian society looks harshly also upon divorced women and invariably blaming them for the
break up. Widowed women are however, somehow ‘ennobled’ but for them problems are
different. Indian widows are more likely to become household heads than the divorced and
separated and they experience more poverty than head - of - households who are divorced
and separated, more difficult when they never worked outside the home. They neither have
the qualification nor the work experience or even the mental make-up necessary to go out

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into the world and fend for them. A number of cultural factors limit their full participation in
the social life of community.
Mostly four aspects of social exclusion of widows in India, they are expected to - withdraw
themselves from public gaze and participation, remain unmarried, restrict themselves to
participate in domestic ceremonies and not to assert her rights to property, if any, left behind
by her deceased husband.
Unmarried single women also face hostility. They find very difficult to meet the basic needs
of their children, the emotional life of the single mother is also affected by their single status,
find hard to maintain discipline among children due to absence of male member and suffer
from loneliness, trauma and depression. Difficult task of earning a living makes
disproportional demand on single parents and financial stress has been observed to decrease
their emotional exchange with the children. Apart this they find difficult to handle the
loneliness and the despair that comes with the feeling of being rejected. Family support is
very important in these cases but their problems are compounded when they find that their
friends and families are unable to offer needed solace and moral support. There is mountain
of scientific evidences showing that when families disintegrate, children often end up with
intellectual physical and emotional scars that persist for life. Children in single-mother homes
are also more likely to experience health-related problems as a result of the decline in their
living standard, including the lack of health insurance. The children living with single parents
experience the consequences of lost income and poor living conditions including poorer
housing and health risks. This lack of financial support also causes increased parental role
burden, which reduces parents’ time for each child in the family and increased stress. They
have less time to help children with homework, are less likely to use consistent discipline and
have less parental control and all of these conditions may lead to lower academic
achievement.
Lack of parental support may precede future arrogance, aggression, withdrawal and
dysfunctional behaviour. In most of the cases single parents and their children often have to
face stigma, violence and social problems based on myths, stereotypes, half truths and
prejudices. Thus it could be concluded that single parent families in today's society have their

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share of daily struggles and long-term disadvantages. The issues of expensive day care,
shortage of quality time with children, balance of work and home duties, and economic
struggle are among the seemingly endless problems these families must solve.
Theories for understanding family transitions

Whenever attempts have been made to understand the complex phenomena of life in deviated
family form, it is found that interpretations are influenced by personal meaning, values and
beliefs and individuals’ experiences. Each theory or framework carries its author’s selective
interpretation and these subjectively based frameworks give a pigeonhole view to any
problem. In order to explain the outcomes for children who have experienced family
transitions all the frameworks could be grouped in two main categories – Trauma Theories
and Life-Course Theories.
The distinction between ‘trauma’ and ‘life-course’ theories is reflected in the common usage
of the terms “parental loss” and “parental absence”. The following illustration can explain the
conceptual difference between two. A child, whose parents remained together for a longer
duration and then divorced or separated, may not show serious adverse outcomes as
consequence of parental absence but he/she could be affected by the experience of loss. In
contrast whose parents separated/ divorced he/ she were in very early infancy (or one who
was born to a single mother) would not suffer as a result of parental loss, but would face the
situation of parental absence. Father absence typically involves a range of adversity for
children. These include a fall in parental supervision, lower economic resources, and a
reduction in social capital through the links a parent figure has with extra familial resources
(e.g. extended families and institutions).
I. Trauma theories encompass the notion that events such as separation, divorce, especially
those occurring in childhood are potentially traumatic events for children and have direct
effects on psychological outcomes later in life independent of intervening experiences. The
impact for some people may not be seen at the time, but may remain latent and emerge later.
This could be termed as “Sleeping effect”. These theories encompass three main theories –
loss theory, abandonment theory and attachment theory.

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A. Loss theory -The psychoanalytic tradition in the early 20th century emphasized the
particular importance of parental loss and its implications for mental health. At that time
parental loss meant “parental death” as separation and divorce were not common in those
days. This ideology suggests that intervening events may have a role in influencing the
connection between early environment and later outcomes. The loss may be considered as a
continuum rather than as an all or nothing event that is why some children experience greater
loss if they lose all contacts with a parent compared to those who maintain a regular and
lasting relationship after parental separation and potential for contact that may not occur. The
‘loss’ perspective predict that:
i. Children who lose parents by death or by separation would be similarly affected.
ii. Outcomes would be worse for children who lose their parent at an early age than
those who lost them at later age.
iii. Children from separated families should be substantially more disadvantaged than
those from two-parent families after separation has occurred but not before.
B. Abandonment theory - The notion of abandonment implies an actual or a perceived

deliberate act by a parent. Because an absent parent is still alive can imply, to the child, that
he or she is not wanted. The consequences of abandonment include feeling of rejection and
low self-worth in children, and a fear of further abandonment particularly by the remaining
parent. If a child believes that the parent has chosen to leave him/her, the consequences
would be worse than when the child does not blame the parent for leaving.
C. Attachment theory - the originator of this theory, observed that the quality of attachment
formed in early life has implications for future social relationships, especially close
relationships, and for associated mental health problems including delinquency and
depression. The link between later well-being and early attachment type was seen to be the
development of internalized working models, of interpersonal interactions between the self
and others. In this sense attachment theory straddles both trauma and life course theory as it
accounts for long-term consequences. But there are certain limitations of this theory. It is not
easy to make precise predictions about the outcomes of absence of one parent. Outcomes
depend on many factors such as-

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I. Whether the attachment to the residential parent compensate for the loss or not or
does the child suffer because of loss of his or her attachment figure?
II. How important is the nature of those early attachments? Is it worse for a child to
lose contact with a person to whom he/she is securely rather that insecurely
attached or not?
II. Life-Course theories - In contrast with trauma theories Life-course theories, see
outcomes for children as being the result of cumulative factors occurring overtime, and
parental separation is seen as only one aspect of a process that begins long before and
continues thereafter. Life-course frameworks include considerations of time, agency and
process. These theories suggest that any outcome is a result of a dynamic process involving
many components.
Sometimes an outcome, too, can itself become a factor contributing to later well-being, for
example, leaving school early becomes a risk factor itself for unemployment and poor
economic conditions. In the pathways of development social, economic and community
contexts also have a potent influence. The contribution of Life-Course models to the
understanding family transitions can best be understood by considering four key principles of
lifecourse theory which are - Historical time and place, Timing within lives, Human agency
and Individual differences, Linked lives.
A. Historical time and place – This principle emphasizes that both times and place have
characteristics that provide specific contexts for developmental pathways. Families exist in
frameworks of social belief, customs, and sanctions that vary by time and place. That is why
the perception and attitude towards divorce, illegitimate children, lone parents, and step
families vary across cultural and ethnic groups.
B. Timing within lives – The developmental impact of a succession of life transitions or

events is contingent on when they occur in a person’s life. Thus this principle suggests that
the age at which major life transitions occur is also important. Children’s age and
developmental stage at the time of family transition determine that how they will comprehend
and react in the short term. For parents also these early transitions to adult roles have
implications. For example early school leaving, partnering, child birth and parenting may

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bring pseudo maturity. Another aspect of this pseudo maturity is increased autonomy for
children in lone-parent households and the emotional needs of lone parents. A kind of role
reversal occurs and children become confident and comforters of their parents.
C. Human agency and individual differences – This principle suggests that individuals
construct their own life-course through the choices and actions they take within the
opportunities and constraints of history and social circumstances. Perception of events,
responses to change and choices made vary between people for example difficult children
find change challenging and are liable to elicit negative reactions. Conversely, children with
happy disposition may cope better with adversity.
D. Linked lives – In Elder’s words, “lives are lived interdependently and social and historical
influences are expressed through this network of shared responsibility”. This principle lays
stress on role of ‘interrelationship’. These interrelationships extend outwards from the
individual to family members, friends, peers and the community as a vital part of the context
in which children develop. This principle has given a rise to many theories that can be
characterized as four main “Ecological Theories” – Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological theory,
Social and economic capital theory, Family system theory and Patterns of parenting and well
being framework.
i. Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological theory emphasizes the fact that children are from birth
embedded in a social context. It describes four levels/ systems within which individual
functions.
I. Micro system, which encompasses the immediate set of relationships for a child.
II. Mesosystem which comprises the links between the child and the family and
other systems within which the child operates. For example school, health
professions, community groups etc.
III. Exosystem involves contexts in which the child does not directly participate but
which have an impact on the child. For example parents workplace, flexibility of
hours, attitudes to parental leaves and time off for children’s needs (illness, school
meetings etc.).

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IV. Macrosystem establishes the wider culture within which families live and
encompasses the attitude, beliefs, opportunities and policies.
ii. Social and economic capital theory – distinguishes ‘social capital’ from ‘physical
capital’ (machines, computers, other equipment) and ‘human capital’ that helps in acquisition
of skills and knowledge, such as education. Social capital exists in the relationships between
persons both within families and between family members and the community. Thus there is
overlapping of Bronfenbrenner’s micro and meso systems. Social capital is seen as social
resources that influence the wellbeing of individuals.
iii. Family system theory - This framework proposes that family system is made up of
subsystems comprising members of, for example, the same generation (e.g. Parent-parent
relationships), the same sex (e.g. fathers and sons) or function (parent-child). This theory
assumes that families are usually self-regulating, and that they establish rules and structures
to stabilized family role and functions. When parents separate or divorce subsystem outside
the household also become important. For example, nonresident parent-child relationship
becomes a part of a family. Thus family system theory predicts that children’s well-being is
linked with associations between relationships.

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Family Management

LIISPRING, ODISHA, INDIA-760001

No part of this e-book may be reproduced in any form, by photostat,

First Published 2021

Sanghamitra Kar a Graduate in Commerce with Post

Chapters Title Page No

1 : The Indian Family System 1

2 : Family and Happiness 17

3 : Family and Relationship Management 21

4 : Family And Children 39

5 : Mothers’ Role in Child Development 63

6 : Father’s Role in Child Development 71

7 : Marriage and Continuation of Marital Relationship 77

8 : Family Budget Management System 88

9 : Family Conflict and Stress Management 96

10 : The Changing Picture of Family 108

The Indian Family System

Indian Family System

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Problems of India’s Changing Family

Briefly speaking, these changes in the socio-economic-political-cultural milieu of our society

Disappearing Joint Family System

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Changes in Authority Structure

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Changes in Marital Practices

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Domestic Tension and Violence

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in a fiercely competitive modem world full of uncertainties in life. In cases of working

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Family and Happiness

"Happiness is the supreme object of existence"

Today, this belief continues with greater emphasis on subjective-wellbeing or happiness.

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Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within.

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If one thinks that one is happy, that is enough to be happy.

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Family and Relationship Management

Family appears to be a universal phenomenon. Society of some type is a prerequisite for

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Developmental tasks of young adults are:

1) Establishing one’s autonomy as an individual.

2) Planning a direction for one’s life.

3) Getting an appropriate education, training or skill.

4) Appraising love and sexual feelings.

5) Becoming involved in love relationship/s.

6) Selecting a marriage partner and being married.

7) Manageing additional responsibilities as a spouse and parent.

Parenting in Middle Years

Family as a Launching Centre

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Developmental Tasks in the Middle Years

1) Correct imbalances in separateness and togetherness,

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