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John M. Gottman, The Science of Trust: Emotional

Attunement for Couples.

Article  in  Transcultural Psychiatry · February 2012

DOI: 10.1177/1363461512437143 · Source: PubMed

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 Transcultural Psychiatry
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John M. Gottman, The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples.

Marie Prévost
Transcultural Psychiatry 2012 49: 142
DOI: 10.1177/1363461512437143

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142 Transcultural Psychiatry 49(1)

chapters specifically address clinical issues related to the consequences of gender

role conflict with abundant and rich case illustrations.
The volume provides a thorough and up-to-date review of theoretical perspec-
tives on the concept of masculinity. This book exposes the evolution of views since
the launch of the NPM through efforts in integrating concepts provided by essen-
tialist and constructivist perspectives, focus on positive psychology and new meth-
ods of data collection. The book also has a strong clinical perspective reporting
experiences of multinational clinical and research authors that extended the notion
of masculinity and clinical concerns beyond the usual western-oriented psychology.
The superb introduction by the editors of this book, which focuses on the chal-
lenges posed by international analysis of masculinity, is unfortunately followed by
chapters of uneven quality. Although the authors of the following chapters come
from many different parts of the world, their research and clinical experiences often
are not put in social or cultural context. The finding of a high degree of convergence
across different nations in stereotypes of masculinity and their adverse consequences
on men and their community is particularly striking given the theoretical frameworks
discussed in this book, which lead the reader to expect much variability in mascu-
linity across contexts. The psychological and sociological mechanisms responsible for
this apparent standardization in men’s values, behaviours and dysfunctions need to
be detailed. Alternative hypotheses should be discussed as well, such as biological
and evolutionary models that could shed light on this important conclusion. A con-
cluding synthesis of the authors’ contributions would have been of great value.
Despite these limitations, the book provides a significant contribution to the inter-
national study of masculinity through the multiplicity and the great relevance of
theoretical views and clinical experiences of the authors.

John M. Gottman, The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples. New York:
W.W. Norton, 2011. 496 pp. US$39.95 (hb), ISBN 9780393705959.

Reviewed by: Marie Prévost, McGill University, Montreal, Canada

John M. Gottman’s latest book briefly reviews the literature on trust and offers a
perspective based on more than 40 years of research on couples. As a couples’
therapist, Gottman also offers his own approach to help couples save their mar-
riages. The book is written for professionals, whether researchers or clinicians, but
is accessible to a wider audience. The theme of trust, though central, shares the
spotlight with other variables such as positive and negative emotions or power
balance in relationships. One of the most interesting aspects of Gottman’s work
is that he studies real interactions between couples, which contrasts with the vast
majority of experiments that are often ecological only in principle. These interac-
tions are videotaped and couples can watch themselves and rate their own behav-
iors, second by second, depending on the purpose of the experiment. Gottman has

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Book Reviews 143

spent his life analyzing relationships in the ‘‘lab apartment’’ he developed in order
to have a naturalistic setting for his research. The result of which is a theory about
couples known as the ‘‘Sound Relationship House.’’ He is to be admired for the
decade he spent doing nothing more than observing couples interacting; these
observations form the basis for his theoretical model.
As Gottman has a passion for mathematics, he developed matrices, which incor-
porate couples’ rating of their own interactions. For example, Jane will evaluate to
what extent her behavior has a positive outcome for her, and to what extent her
partner’s behavior has a positive outcome for her. Her partner rates the interaction
as well. These matrices have proven excellent predictors of couples’ happiness,
unhappiness, and the likelihood of divorce. Trust is another variable extracted
from the matrices, as a higher-order measure of these interactions. In line with a
behavioral definition of interpersonal trust, Gottman conceives it as a state that
reflects how much Jane can ‘‘count on her partner to change his behavior for her
interest,’’ and vice versa.
The study of trust leads logically to that of untrustworthiness and betrayal.
After a very interesting overview of some of the most influential game theorists
of the last century, Gottman defines untrustworthiness as acting in one’s own
interest independently of the partner’s interests, whereas betrayal is defined as
acting in one’s own interest at the partner’s cost. Untrustworthiness can thus be
‘‘upgraded’’ to betrayal. For Gottman, betrayal arises when alternatives to the
current relationship appear more favorable and when there is no response to the
partner’s demands for connection. He proposes a cascade of steps that lead to
distrust and betrayal; each of these steps is a possible research variable as well as
a precise target for therapy. The last chapter dives into the details of the mathe-
matical model, but is written with enough humor and clarity to captivate the
reader.
Gottman’s findings are nicely used in couples’ therapy. He gives practical and
detailed information about the state of a relationship and the variables that can
predict the future of the relationship. For example, it seems that the way people
remember their own story as a couple is more predictive of a good future together
than the accuracy of the memory. Another example is that people who have an
‘‘emotion-coaching’’ style – they try to listen empathically and understand their
partner – have a better chance of making their relationship work. A sort of cog-
nitive-behavioral approach is thus possible to help couples stuck in recurrent
‘‘nasty’’ conflicts, the best predictor of divorce. Gottman proposes that building
attunement, a mix of the emotion-coaching style and being responsive to the part-
ner’s demands for connection, is an indispensable step to building trust and to
having a long-lasting happy relationship.
Although the book is clearly written, some points are frustrating for the reader.
The recurring claim that ‘‘flooding,’’ or being emotionally overwhelmed, leads
people to process information inaccurately is not supported by reference to the
relevant literature. Even though it is widely accepted that affect influences infor-
mation processing, exactly how information processing is inaccurate in this context

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144 Transcultural Psychiatry 49(1)

needs clarification. In addition, Gottman’s review of the physiology of trust is

confusing. For example, he writes (p. 134) that promiscuous voles become monog-
amous when vasopressin receptors (V1aR) are artificially expressed in their brain,
citing Gobrogge and colleagues’ study (2009). However, this study does not men-
tion voles’ promiscuity, but explores their aggressive behavior toward pair-bonded
or novel females. There are also numerous mistakes in the references of this chap-
ter. For example, he reports on a study where participants view frightening faces,
but the reference supporting this claim is to a study evaluating the effects of the
hormones oxytocin and vasopressin on the amygdala of rats. However, these inac-
curacies seem to pertain only to these couples of pages and not to extend to the rest
of the book.
In conclusion, Gottman has produced an interesting perspective on relationships
in couples, showing how 15-minute interactions can predict whether or not a
marriage will last. These 15 minutes are a sort of window into the couple’s
future, which can be altered by manipulating the attitudes described throughout
the book. Trust, distrust, betrayal, and untrustworthiness can be characterized and
evaluated using Gottman’s models, especially the trust metrics, and can be worked
on during therapy. His model also opens a new perspective on other types of
relationships, such as friendships or professional relations. Both researchers and
clinicians will benefit from this impressive summary of decades of work on
relationships.

Reference
Gobrogge, K. L., Liu, Y., Young, L. J., & Wang, Z. (2009). Anterior hypothalamic
vasopressin regulates pair-bonding and drug-induced aggression in a monogamous
rodent. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the USA, 106(45),
19144–19149.

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