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The content in this book is copyrighted by mistyhaze420 or their authorised

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This story was first published on September 30th, 2009, and was last updated
on June 16th, 2012.

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 Table of Contents

Summary
1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
3. Chapter 3
4. Chapter 4
5. Chapter 5
6. Chapter 6
7. Chapter 7
8. Chapter 8
9. Chapter 9
10. Chapter 10
11. Chapter 11
12. Chapter 12
13. Chapter 13
14. Chapter 14
15. Chapter 15
16. Chapter 16
17. Chapter 17
18. Chapter 18
19. Chapter 19
20. Chapter 20
21. Chapter 21
22. Chapter 22
23. Chapter 23
24. Chapter 24
25. Chapter 25
26. Chapter 26
27. Chapter 27
28. Chapter 28

-3-
29. Chapter 29
30. Chapter 30
31. Chapter 31
32. Chapter 32
33. Chapter 33
34. Chapter 34
35. Chapter 35
36. Chapter 36
37. Chapter 37
38. Chapter 38
39. Chapter 39
40. Chapter 40
41. Chapter 41
42. Chapter 42
43. Chapter 43
44. Chapter 44
45. Chapter 45
46. Chapter 46
47. Chapter 47
48. Chapter 48
49. Chapter 49
50. Chapter 50
51. Chapter 51
52. Epilogue
53. Author's Note
54. Chapter 54

-4-
 Summary

Jasper and Edward become the best of friends through similar tragic events in
their lives. Edward, the geeky messed up kid, soon starts getting some lessons from
bad boy, Jasper on how to fit in...What will E end up teaching him? E/J Slash AH
Mature

-5-
 Chapter 1

Okay guys, this is my first attempt at slash. I wanna let you know however,
that my story begins with the boys at the innocent young age of 13. I read a
lot of fics that talk about how they had been best friends before becoming
more but I wanna show the relationship between them. I will also say that I
am a fan of movies like Thirteen and Kids so my youngsters will be
portrayed in a grittier manner. I'll do a few chapters of them as they grow up
so you can see how their relationship progresses. Let me know what you
think and I hope you guys enjoy!

BTW-this is an all human fic and I will alternate between Jasper and
Edward's POV.

Song Playlist: Creep by Radiohead, Use Somebody by Kings of Leon, and In

the City by Kevin Rudolf

Edward's POV

I looked into the bathroom mirror and took in the image in front of me. Dull,
lifeless green eyes showcased by dark purple bags underneath…messy, weird
bronze hair that had a mind of its own…pale, fragile skin that hasn't seen much
daylight in its 13 years on this earth. A plain, dull, weird, skinny 13 year old boy
looked back at me from the mirror in disgust.

Truth be known, I was fine with my current situation…it was everyone else who
seemed to worry about me. Reclusive…introverted…socially awkward…
loser…weirdo…all good adjectives that have been used to describe me at one time or
another. Doctors called it Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome…my peers had many
different names for it.

My poor parents…they tried so hard to help me. I know that when they adopted
me 5 years ago, they had thought they could fix me. They thought that I could be
that picture perfect son for them…I hated that I was such a disappointment. They
never told me that, of course. Carlisle and Esme Cullen were themselves, picture
perfect. Dad was the head surgeon for the local Hospital in our town. My mother
was an interior designer before they moved here to the dreary little town of Forks,
Washington. She gave up her dreams and career to relocate to a nice "normal" small
town for the sake of her messed up adopted son. They thought this small town would
do me good but the last two years here have been nothing more than hell on earth

-6-
for me.

I blended more easily into the background when we lived in Chicago. Here, I stuck
out like a sore thumb. It started out as simple teasing and taunting but quickly grew
into physical taunts and bullying. Now the kids just pretty much pretended I didn't
exist and I preferred it that way.

It was the first day of summer vacation before middle school began. I decided to
go to the kitchen to get an apple when I heard my mom's sobs. I walked by my
father's study and saw that it had been left open a crack. I knew I shouldn't eaves
drop but I heard my mother cry, "What are we going to do, Carlisle? We've lived
here for two years and he doesn't have a single friend. His birthday is in a week and
I don't know one single person to invite. The school is worried about him. They want
to send him to a special school…"

I heard my dad sigh, "I don't know, darling. If things don't improve this summer
then we'll have to look into a special school or some sort of mental treatment
facility."

My breath caught in my throat…I don't want to leave…I like Carlisle and Esme,
they have always been good to me…

I slowly backed away from the door and soon found myself locked in the bathroom
staring into the mirror.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just fit in?

I opened the doors underneath the sink and felt around to find the razor blade
that I had taped to the inside of it.

Just one small cut will help it feel better…

I slumped against the door and pulled up the sleeve of my long sleeved t-shirt. I
looked at the faint scars and scratches and shuddered at the look of it.

I am such a monster…no wonder everyone thinks I'm a freak…

I dragged the tip of the razor just slightly against my arm as I felt that familiar
pain that caused my immediate relief. I lay there for a few minutes as a thin line of
blood trails down my arm. After a few minutes, I cleaned the razor blade and stuck it
back where I got it. I cleaned up my arm and pulled my sleeve back down.

-7-
 I walked out of the bathroom determined to try and ease my parents mind. I went
to my dad's office and knocked. "Come in, son."

I stuck my head in and smiled as best I could, "Um…I was thinking I might go
down to the park and see if there are any kids there."

The smile on my mom's face was enough for me to push the misery away and
actually force myself to go outside. It's not that I had anything against being
outside…I just didn't see the point.

"Okay, honey. Be back in time for dinner…um, feel free to bring a friend by for
dinner too if you want."

I smiled, "Sure, mom."

I backed out and trudged downstairs. Great…I look like even more of a freak
because I was wearing a long sleeved white t-shirt with a pair of basketball shorts in
85 degree weather. But I had to wear the long sleeves and it's not like anyone will
actually speak to me anyway.

I walked out of my house and down the long drive. The sun was hot on my legs
and face and I hated squinting from it. I walked down the street until I came to the
small housing community. I took a deep breath and rounded the corner to the park.

I saw some of the boys I went to school with playing basketball.

I promised my mom I'd try…

I shoved my hands in my pocket and slowly walked by, not daring my eyes to leave
the ground in front of me.

I walked by three times before I got the nerve to look up and speak to them.

Big mistake…the moment I looked up, I saw a basketball coming straight at my

face. It hit me hard in the nose causing me to stumble and fall in front of everyone.
The laughter that followed was even worse than the hit I took.

"What a fag! You can't come to our park, Cullen! Run along home and cry pussy
boy!" Tyler, Eric, and Mike's laughter haunted me. Then I heard Bella, "Leave the
kid alone…it's not his fault he's such a freak." More laughter.

I stood up, holding my nose that was now bleeding slightly, and I ran away.
-8-
 I stopped crying in front of them last year. By then I was used to it and I wouldn't
dare let them see me cry anymore. I ran off into the woods to do my crying. I
wandered and cried until the tears had finally stopped coming.

When I noticed that the sun was high in the middle of the sky, I figured I better try
and find my way home. I had no idea where I was. I kept walking until I finally saw
some streets and houses peeking from the other side of the trees.

I stepped out of the woods and quickly found a sidewalk. I had no idea where I
was but Forks was a small enough town that it shouldn't be too difficult to find my
way home.

I walked for awhile and when I rounded a corner I saw him. He was the epitome of
everything I wasn't. He looked to be about my age but his skin was tan and he had
golden curls that hung loosely around his face. It was matted slightly from sweat as
I watched him take a shot. The basketball went through the hoop with an impressive
swoosh…great, he's good at sports too.

He was by himself in a driveway of an old house. He was using an old basketball

hoop with not much netting left. He had on a plain white t shirt and sky blue
basketball shorts. He was barefooted. I continued walking by him on the other side
of the street. I was trying not to be weird and stare at him but I couldn't help it. He
was what I would never be. Perfect and normal.

But as I sneaked a sideways glance I was met with the most perfect blue eyes I
had ever seen. Even from across the street I could see the sky blue orbs
shimmering. He smiled, "Wanna play some ball?" I noticed he had a southern twang
to his voice and I quickly looked behind me because there was no way thiskid was
talking to me.

He laughed, "Yeah, I'm talkin to you, kid. The one with the cool hair."

That caught my attention and my eyes snapped back to him, "Um…me?"

He laughed again, "Yeah, you. Wanna play some ball?"

I slowly walked across the street feeling extremely anxious. It was obvious that
this kid was new in town and didn't know about me yet. I'm sure as soon as he spoke
to me for a minute, he would be making an excuse to go inside the house and away
from me.

I ran a hand through my messy hair and studied the ground, "Um…I don't really
-9-
know how to play, " I said quietly.

"I could teach ya, if ya want?" he ducked his head down and smiled, "What's so
interesting about the ground?"

I raised my head and couldn't help but smile. His wide dimpled smile was
infectious, "Okay I guess…you could teach me but I'm sure I won't be as good as you
are."

He shrugged, "Hell man I use to suck at basketball. It just takes practice.

Everybody sucks at first."

He held out his fist for me to bump…like I had seen so many of the other kids do.

"I'm Jasper."

I bumped his fist and said, "Edward."

He started laughing, "Shit, dude, we both have some old messed up names. I'm
gonna call you Eddie or E. You can call me Jay."

He was making it kind of easy for me to smile. I was starting to feel somewhat
comfortable talking to him.

He taught me the right way to dribble and how to shoot a free throw. He didn't
make fun of me when I messed up or fell down. After a couple of hours we were
sweating and laughing. "See dude, you're not that bad. A few more months and
you'll be as good as me."

I laughed but didn't say anything. Then he looked up and said, "Eddie, I'm gonna
go and make a sandwich or something. Want one?"

I looked at my watch and realized that I should be getting home for dinner.

"Um…I actually have to go home for dinner."

He sighed, "Oh…okay. Wanna come over tomorrow?"

He actually wants to hang out with me again…

I tried my best to look at him and not at the ground as I spoke but I was very
nervous, "Do you want to have dinner at my house? My mom said it'd be okay if I
- 10 -
brought home a friend."

Please say yes…don't make me feel stupid…

He threw the basketball in his front yard and slipped on his shoes, "Hell yeah,
dude. A home cooked meal beats the hell out of a baloney sandwich."

He fell in step beside me as we started walking. Then I asked, "Um…Jay, don't you
have to tell your parents where you're going?"

He started laughing, "Pfst…no. They don't give a shit where I go just as long as I
don't bother them."

Then I realized that I still didn't know where I was. "Hey, um…what street is this?"

He looked at me funny, "You don't know what street you're on?"

I shook my head, "No…I came from the woods. I was just kind of wandering
around."

He smiled, "Oh, well we're at the corner of 1st and Adams St."

I nodded in relief, "Okay, good. Let's go this way then."

We continued walking and talking…well he talked mostly and I listened. I went the
long route so that I could avoid running into kids that knew me. I had a good thing
going and I wasn't ready to give up my new friend quite yet.

I found out that he just moved up here from Texas with his mom and her
boyfriend. His dad was a Marine and he only saw him once or twice a year. He was
an only child, like me.

When we started walking up my driveway he stopped and gasped, "Shit, dude!

You live here?"

I just nodded and he looked around in awe. We walked up the steps and I opened
the door and showed him in. He looked around and whispered, "Jesus, Eddie, this
place is a freakin mansion."

I just smiled and quietly said, "Um…I guess I should introduce you?" It came out
as a question because my nerves were so bad.

- 11 -
 This is a bad idea…this is your house…your domain and he's going to find out too
much about you and run away…

He laughed, "You're awfully twitchy, Edward. Calm down, dude. It's just dinner."

He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. It relaxed me immediately

and I just shook my head and smiled, "Come on, I'll introduce you."

He followed me into the kitchen. My mom was standing there cutting up

vegetables. She didn't look up from cutting when she said, "Hey honey, how did
things go today?"

I cleared my throat and she looked up, "Oh!"

Well the excited grin spread across her face couldn't make it any more evident of
what a loser I am…look how excited she is that I brought a kid home…

"Um…mom, this is Jasper. You said I could have someone over for dinner, right?"

She smiled and quickly washed her hands, "Of course, baby."

Baby…gee, thanks mom.

Jasper gave me a sideways smirk. And my mom smiled, "It's so nice to meet you,
Jasper. How do you and Edward know each other?"

Yep…this was a bad idea…

I could feel my face turning red and once again, he placed his hand on my
shoulder and I started calming down. He smiled at my mom, "We met today. He was
walking by my house and I asked him to play basketball with me."

She looked shock, "Edward, you played basketball?"

Groan…

Jasper laughed, "Yeah, he's pretty good, Mrs. …" he trailed off and my mom said,
"Cullen, dear. But you can call me Esme."

Jasper smiled, "I'll never remember that…can I just call you Mrs. C?"

She laughed, obviously smitten by him, "That would be fine, dear. Now you boys
- 12 -
go get cleaned up. Edward, your dad will be here in about twenty minutes and we'll
start dinner then."

I nodded and quickly left the kitchen with Jasper following behind. Once we got in
the hallway I turned and muttered, "Sorry, my mom's a little…

He smiled, "Dude, your mom's the shit! She seems to really love you and she
cooks…your mom rocks, dude."

He says dude a lot…it's kinda cute…

Then he tugged on my elbow when I turned away from him. I turned back around
and his baby blue eyes were penetrating mine, "Hey, Eddie? You need to change
your shirt…you've got blood on it."

Shit! My nose and my stupid arm…he probably thinks I'm a freak!

"Uh…I…" I stammered as my heart began to beat wildly.

He smiled, "C'mon, let's go to your room."

I turned away and led him up the stairs to my room. I gulped nervously before I
opened the door. I walked in and he followed me.

"Damn, Eddie! Your room is the size of my whole house!" he looked around and
immediately walked over to my CD collection, "Man, you've got a lot of music. I love
music…it's my biggest passion. I play the guitar a little bit… "

Then he turned and smiled at my piano, "Piano, huh? That's cool, you can play for
me sometime and I'll play for you."

I grabbed another long sleeve shirt and stepped inside my bathroom. I looked at
the boy in the mirror and saw that he got a little sun today. I quickly changed my
shirt and walked back out to my room. Jasper was lying on my bed. He was on his
back and his hands were folded behind his head. His eyes were closed but he
must've heard me because he said, "This is the most comfortable bed I have ever
laid on. You're really lucky, Edward."

I just stood there frozen as I watched him. He was just so naturally confident and
sure of himself…of course, if I was like him, I would be to.

He leaned up on his elbows and asked, "Can I use your bathroom so I can clean up
- 13 -
my hands?"

I nodded but still seemed unable to speak. As he started to walk by me, he put his
hands on my shoulders and spoke quietly, "Edward? Whenever you're ready to
talk…I'll listen. But please don't feel like you haveto talk." Then he dropped his
hands and grinned, "I can talk enough for the both of us."

I laughed quietly as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

A few minutes later my mom called us for dinner. We sat around the table with
Jasper sitting across from me.

My dad walked in and held his hand out to Jasper, "It's good to meet you, Jasper.
I'm Edward's dad, Carlisle…but you can call me Mr. C. if that's easier," he said with
a laugh. Jasper grinned and took his hand and gave it a shake, "It's good to meet
you, Mr. C. Thanks for having me to dinner."

Mom had made salad, lasagna, and cheesy garlic bread. We ate and talked as
Jasper dazzled my parents with stories of his childhood in Texas. He had lived on a
farm with his grandma until he was 6...that's when his mom and new boyfriend
showed up. He said they had moved quite a lot over the past few years but he was
hoping that they'd stay put here for a little while. He talked about how he use to
help his grandma with the animals just so he'd have an excuse to play with them. He
loved to ride horses. We all hung on his every word and he was so charismatic and
funny that you couldn't help but be completely charmed by him. His blue eyes
sparkled as he spoke.

The sound of thunder pulled my mother's attention away from the dinner table.
She went to the window and pulled back the blinds, "Oh honey, there's a nasty storm
outside. I think we should drive you home."

He smiled a weak smile and spoke softly, "Yes, ma'am."

Lightening crashed outside and the house shook as all the lights flickered
once…twice…and then darkness. Everyone was eerily quiet and then my dad spoke
out through the darkness, "Hmmm…maybe we should just call his mother and see if
he can stay the night. That is, if you'd like to stay, son."

I could see Jasper's wide grin even in the darkness, "Yeah I'd love too, Mr. C. If it's
okay with Eddie?"

I smiled at him…even though it made me nervous as hell to have him stay the
- 14 -
night…I didn't want him to stop being so happy. When he was happy, it sort of
helped me be happy. "Yeah, Jay. That's cool."

My mom grabbed her cell phone as my dad excused himself to get some candles.
"What's your phone number, honey?"

Jasper looked down at the ground and mumbled, "You really don't have to call
her…she won't care if I stay."

My mom laughed, "Nonsense, Jasper. I haveto call your mother."

He sighed and gave her the number. I watched as his head continued to hang low.

"Hello, Mrs. Whitlock? This is Esme, Edward's mom…"

"Edward is a friend of your son…Jasper…"

"No…I don't need to talk to him, he's here at my house eating dinner…no, I'm
quite sure he's sitting here at my kitchen table…"

"Well with the storm outside, we wondered if he might be able to just stay the
night tonight…ok, great…would you like to talk to him…hello?"

She flipped her phone shut and grabbed Jasper's hand, giving it a little squeeze,
"Your mom was a little busy, dear but she said that you can stay."

Jasper managed a weak smile, "Thanks."

Dad brought some candles and mom got us all some ice cream and we ate. Jasper
was a little quieter but still held a polite conversation with my parents. It turns out
that he turned 13 last month so we would be starting school together. That thought
delighted and terrified me all at the same time. I liked having Jasper around…at
times I almost felt normal. I would laugh or smile and not worry to death about it. So
the thought of going to school with him and him seeing what a freak I was, was a
very terrifying notion.

After we ate, we carried our dishes to the sink and my mom spoke, "Why don't you
boys go get ready for bed and your dad and I will see if we can get the lights fixed.
Here take some candles with you and please be careful."

Then she smiled at Jasper and said, "You can borrow some of Edward's clothes to
wear tonight, dear and he can get you a new toothbrush from the cupboard. If you
- 15 -
need anything at all, just let one of us know. Make yourself at home, Jasper."

He grinned again and I swear he blushed, "Okay, thanks Mrs. C."

We made our way upstairs and to my room. We went inside and set the candles
down on my nightstand and dresser. I dug out some pajama pants and t shirts for
the both of us…mine was long sleeved. I got him a toothbrush and towel. He took a
candle with him to the bathroom. He quickly showered and brushed his teeth.

When he came out of the bathroom I went in and quickly showered and brushed
my teeth. When I came out of the bathroom, he was in my bed curled up on his side.
His eyes were wide open as I watched him watch the thunderstorm outside. I walked
to the bed and grabbed a pillow, "I…um…I'll sleep on my couch…" I pointed to the
couch by the window and he laughed as he threw the blanket back, "Dude, it's a
king size bed…get in."

So I slowly slid under the blanket, facing away from him. I closed my eyes and
silently prayed…

Dear God please don't let me screw this up…don't let me have a nightmare
tonight…

"Hey Edward," Jasper whispered. "Um…yeah?" I whispered back.

He laughed quietly, "Dude, turn around so I don't have to talk to your back."

I slowly flipped over to my other side and saw him staring intently at me with
clear blue eyes.

"Tell me about yourself, Eddie. You know my whole life story and all I know about
you is that you have the coolest parents ever, you live in a freakin mansion, and you
like music."

Oh God…I don't know what to say…he's going to think I'm retarded…say

something already…

"Uh…well, um…I…" I stammered and I could feel my heart begin to race and my
palms became sweaty. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack.

He leaned up on one elbow and put his hand on my shoulder, "Dude, calm down,"
he spoke quietly. Once again, this simple act seemed to help me settle down as I
started taking deep breaths.
- 16 -
 He sighed with a look of concern on his face, "Okay I got an idea, I'll ask you
simple questions and you tell me the answer. If you don't wanna answer something,
just say 'next'. Cool?"

I nodded and laid my head back down. He smiled, "Have you lived in this town
your whole life?"

I shook my head.

"Okay, where else have you lived?"

I looked up at the ceiling, "Um…Chicago until I was 10."

He nodded, "Favorite color?"

I looked at him and smiled, "Blue. What's yours?"

He smiled back at me, "Green. Favorite candy?"

"Um…skittles. What's yours?"

He answered quickly, "M&M's."

The night continued much like this. He'd ask a question and sometimes I would
ask one back. We found out each other's favorite movies, bands, and video games.
As I became more comfortable, his questions grew more personal.

"Do you remember your birth parents?"

I shook my head and looked at the ceiling, "Um…not really. I can remember voices
and smells and sounds but I can't picture their faces."

He was leaning on his elbow on his side staring at me, "So Mr. and Mrs. C.
adopted you when you were 8...so where were you from the time in between your
birth parents and your adopted ones?"

I shook my head, "Next."

He let out a small sigh and then spoke again, "Why were you crying today before I
met you?"

I looked over at him in surprise. He had never mentioned it so I thought he hadn't

- 17 -
noticed. "Next."

He let out an exasperated sigh and ran his hand through his blonde curls, "C'mon,
dude. It might make you feel better to talk about it. Maybe it's something I can help
you with…"

I closed my eyes and shook my head again, "Next."

He sat up and faced me sitting Indian style on the bed. He reached over, grabbed
my arm and before I could react he yanked my sleeve up. I tried to struggle and
break free but his grip tightened and he spoke over and over again in a whisper,
"It's okay, Edward…calm down, everything's okay…"

After a minute of struggling, I lost it and began sobbing like a damn baby. He let
go of my arm and I quickly yanked my sleeve down and wrapped my arms around
myself. I felt the bed shift as he stood up and went to the bathroom.

A minute later he came back with a glass of water and a wet washcloth. He sat
back down on the bed and sat the water on the nightstand. Then he handed me the
washcloth so I could wipe my face off.

After a few minutes, I started to calm down. I looked up at him expecting the
worst. I was pretty sure that after tonight, he would never want to talk to me
again…except maybe to make fun of me.

Instead I was met with tortured blue eyes that glistened from tears that
threatened to fall. He took a breath and said, "Why do you do that to yourself?"

I just shook my head, unable to say anything. He ran his hand through his hair and
then threw his shirt over his head and to the ground.

I gasped as I saw his chest was covered in scars. He began pointing each one out
and telling me how he had got them. My tears still fell but his never did. He had
been given some of them when was one his mom's boyfriend's got mad and threw
him against a china cabinet causing it to fall and the glass to shatter all over him.
Another scar was when he asked his mom for something to drink and she launched a
coffee mug at him so hard that it broke. He got burned from the coffee but that has
since healed. He had been 7 at the time.

Most of them were from various boyfriend's of his mother's. He said that's why
they moved a lot…either his mom would find a new man to run off with or the
school's would start to ask questions and she would get scared and leave town. His
- 18 -
mom had basically kidnapped him from his grandma when he was six. She snuck
into his room in the middle of the night and carried him from his bed to some man's
car that was waiting outside. He never saw his grandma again but his mom told him
that she had died a couple of years ago.

Once he was done with his story, he gently took my arm and pushed up the sleeve
again, "So now are you gonna tell me why you did this to yourself?"

He had just trusted me with the most private details of his life…I felt like I had to
share mine with him.

I sighed, "It helps to…relieve the pressure, I guess. I'm always so nervous
and…I'm always just freaking out about stuff. When I do this…it helps take away my
focus from whatever's going on in my head."

"What happened with your parents? Why were you adopted?"

I ran my hand through my hair and flopped backwards onto my pillow. I shut my
eyes and took a deep breath, "Um…I don't really remember much about them. I
remember being scared and I wasn't ever allowed to speak. They were horribly
abusive, from what I've been told but I really only remember our last night together.
My dad was messed up in the head and my mom was too scared of him to leave.
He…um…one night he was having some schizo episode and thought my mom was
trying to leave him…so he grabbed a kitchen knife and…he slaughtered her in front
of me. He looked over at me and said that he was the devil and he was taking us
both to hell with him. He threw me in the trunk of his car and drove me to the
woods. When we got there, he beat the shit out of me. Then his mood switched and
he started holding me and rubbing my hair, telling me how much he loved me. He
wanted to show me how much he loved me…"

I shuddered at the memory of whiskey laced breath on my neck and manic

ramblings of love followed by mind numbing pain.

Jasper's eyes shut and I saw a few tears slide down his cheek.

"I blacked out shortly after that but I was told that some hunters found us and saw
what he was doing…they shot him. I don't remember all of the details of everything
that followed but I went to a children's home and began intense counseling,
treatments…that was after I got out of the hospital. Anyway, it was really hard
because I barely knew how to speak. I stayed there for almost three years until
Carlisle and Esme adopted me. Countless couples had been interested in me until
they learned of my past…then they realized I was too damaged and they didn't want
- 19 -
that kind of problem."

He looked up into my eyes and sniffled, "Is that why you were crying today?"

At this point I might as well tell him everything…

I shook my head, "No…um…you see, the story made the papers all over the
country. And soon, the kids at school had found out and they started messing with
me. Carlisle and Esme moved us here to get away from the bullying but things are
even worse for me here. The kids tease me about being adopted…and they learned
about my past. Some of the kids are relentless. I have no friends…everybody hates
me. They think I'm a freak. Today I was trying to make my mom happy because I
overhead them talking about how the school is starting to worry about my anti-social
behavior. I don't want to go to another hospital or treatment center. So I went to the
park and a couple of the boys hit me in the face with a basketball and started calling
me names in front of everyone. That's when I went into the woods and stumbled
across you."

Jasper put his shirt back on and he reached across the bed and pulled me into a
hug. I was stiff at first but soon felt completely relaxed and safe.

He pulled away and I could see the blue in his eyes darken. He said, "Edward,
everyone is fucked up…it's just that some people are better at hiding it than others.
I've been in ten different schools in the last six years and the first four were
horrible. By the fifth, I had found ways to change my image…make people think that
there's nothing wrong with me. My mom says I'm a master bullshitter. I think it's
more of a survival mechanism. By the 7th school, I knew how to easily manipulate
everyone around me. I'm gonna help you, Edward. I'm gonna teach you how to hide
it. By the end of the summer, you're gonna be the coolest kid in this stupid little
town."

I furrowed my brows, "Why would you do that?"

He frowned, "Well, like I said, Eddie, I can show you how to appearto fit in but I
can't actually make you fit in…it will be an act. And I don't know about you…but it
would be really nice to have one friend that I didn't have to pretend around.
Someone who actually knows the real me."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, "You really want to be friends
with me?"

He smiled with that wide grin, "Yeah. Best friends, dude. Now, first things first.
- 20 -
Tomorrow we're gonna go to the park and you're gonna point out the assholes that
messed with you today. Then I'm gonna show you how we handle jerks like that in
Texas…"

I got worried, "Jay, there's usually three of them and I don't know how to fight."

He laughed, "Dude, trust me. You don't have to be the strongest or fastest to win a
fight…you just have to be the smartest. My Marine daddy taught me good. Don't
worry, Eddie, things are gonna start getting a whole lot better for you. I promise."

And something in his smile convinced me that he was telling the truth.

We talked for a little while longer before falling asleep. I slept like a baby.

The next morning I woke up first but when I got out of the bed, he started stirring.
We went down and ate breakfast and he kept complimenting my mom on her
cooking. He sure did know how to manipulate people because he had her eating out
of the palm of his hand.

After breakfast we went upstairs to get dressed. I told him he could borrow some
clothes and he started going through my closet. He was much pickier about his
clothes than me. Finally he pulled out a baby blue polo and said, "How much do you
like this shirt?"

I shrugged, "I've only worn it once. Why?"

He threw off his t shirt and pulled on the polo, "Because it's probably gonna get
messed up today."

I looked over at him, "Then why don't you just wear a t shirt or something?"

He laughed, "Because you always gotta look good, Edward. I want all eyes on me
when I whoop them boys asses." He pulled out a green button up shirt and threw it
at me, "Here, put this on."

I pulled a white long sleeved t-shirt on and left the green shirt unbuttoned. I threw
on a pair of jeans and thanked God that it was a little overcast and cool today.

Jasper had pulled on some jean shorts. We both walked in the bathroom and
brushed our hair.

Then we told my mom that we were going to go to the park and she was beyond
- 21 -
happy.

When I closed the front door behind me he asked me if we had a basketball. I

found one in the garage that had never been used. We started walking to the park
and he was having me practice dribbling.

He started walking backwards in front of me, "Look at me, Eddie. The ground ain't
gonna disappear when you're not looking."

I lifted my eyes and tried to focus on him as I continued dribbling. He smiled,

"See? You're doing great, dude. You gotta quit staring at the ground all the time.
You've got amazing eyes, Edward…you need to use them to your advantage."

I just laughed and we kept walking. Once we rounded the corner, he was standing
next to me again. I heard Mike yell out, "Hey look! Cullen's got a new boyfriend!"
Then laughter.

Jasper looked at me, "Those three?"

I nodded and he said, "Alright, give me the basketball."

I gave him the ball and he tucked it under his arm as he started walking over to
them. Tyler, Mike, and Eric stood in the middle of the basketball court now and
everyone's heads turned as Jasper walked up. As he was walking Tyler yelled,
"Aww…he's coming to defend his…" And then Jasper launched the ball at his face.

It smacked him hard and sent him to the ground. While Mike and Eric looked at
their friend in shock…everyone started chanting "Fight! Fight!"

Jasper quickly leapt across the remaining distance between him and the other two
and landed a sucker punch to Eric's jaw, sending him to the ground. Mike threw a
wild punch at him, which he easily dodged to the left and then came back with a left
hook.

The three boys lay on the ground bleeding and everyone around us was in awe.
Jasper bent down over Mike and grabbed him by the shirt. He growled, "If you or
any of your little pussy friends ever so much as think about fucking with me or
Edward again…I'm coming afteryou. If you or your friends get your older brothers to
come after me or you get a wild hair up your ass and decide to jump me…I'm coming
after you. So you better keep your friend's in check or it's your ass. If you think you
got balls enough…then fuckin test me and find out that I mean every word I say. Do
you understand me?"
- 22 -
 Mike nodded as fresh tears went down his cheek. Jasper smirked and grabbed my
basketball. He bent over and used Tyler's shirt to wipe the blood off then stood up
and walked over to me, "C'mon, Eddie."

The girls around us were giggling and whispering. As we started to walk away,
Lauren called out, "Hey…what's your name?"

Jasper handed me the ball and whispered, "Watch and learn…"

He turned around with a grin on his face as we walked over to her. He reached up
and ran his finger down her jaw and drawled out, "Well, pretty girl, you wanna know
my name? Guess."

She bit her lip, "Guess? But…"

He shrugged and turned away, "If you don't wanna know who I am enough to
guess…"

She shouted, "Wait! Um…uh…David?"

He smirked, "Sorry darlin. You can try again tomorrow if you want."

Then he turned and walked away. Once he reached me, we started walking and I
whispered, "Jay! Those girls wanted to talk to you…why didn't you…"

He put his arm around my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Always leave them
wanting more, dude."

As I heard the whispers and giggling as we walked away, I knew without a doubt
that Jasper was right when he said that things were going to get a whole lot better
for me.

- 23 -
 Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews and alerts and stuff. I really appreciate them all.
Some of you may love this chapter…others may think it's too much but
please keep in mind that I forewarned you that I would be writing these guys
in a more realistic manner. That means that they aren't always gonna do the
right things and be perfect. They will be very flawed…just like grown ups.

Anyway, hope you enjoy…oh and by the way…I don't own anything
Twilight…except the DVD…and the book.

Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down, 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins,

Wonderwall by Oasis

Jasper's POV

The first time I looked up and saw Edward staring at me, something struck me. He
just looked so…lost and lonely. He looked completely broken. I knew that feeling
and I could read his emotions easily. But the way that he was looking at me threw
me for a loop. He was looking at me like I was golden…perfect…like I mattered. No
one ever looked at me like that before until after I worked some Whitlock magic, and
even then they weren't seeing the real me…but this kid was looking at me like I was
special.

And I really liked it.

Once I started talking to him I could see that he was painfully shy. His eyes were
still red and puffy and I just wanted to make him feel better. I had never seen eyes
as bright green as his were and I couldn't understand how any girl could look into
those eyes and not fall for this kid. When he started to loosen up a bit…I found out
that he was really funny and nice.

Then I met his parents and man, they were incredible…like the fucking Brady
Bunch. His dad's a doctor and his mom is the nicest woman I had ever met…must be
where Edward gets it from. She was a fantastic cook too. I hadn't had a home
cooked meal since I lived with my granny.

It was so fuckin embarrassing when his mom called mine. Lord knows where she
was or what she was doing. She makes it much harder to keep up a normal image.
But at least that dickhead boyfriend of hers didn't answer.

- 24 -
 Edward was still being really quiet but that was okay with me. Talking came
pretty easy to me. I could go on for hours about mindless crap like a fuckin
recording. I was a damn good actor. People usually bought everything I told
them…it was always my mom that screwed everything up. I really hoped that she
didn't mess this up…

I had seen the scars on his arm when we were playing basketball. His life seemed
so perfect, I didn't understand what had happened to him to make him so down on
himself. After a few hours of talking and getting Eddie comfortable with me, I
started asking the tougher questions.

Normally I wouldn't have give a shit about a "friends" life…but I didn't want to
pretend with Edward. I wanted to be his friend for real. And I just didn't want him to
stop looking at me the way he did…

When he still wouldn't tell me why he did that to his arms, I decided to jump in
head first to this whole 'real friend' thing and told him my life story. I left out a lot of
grimy details but I told him the truth…it was the first time I had ever told anyone
the truth.

And then he told me everything that had happened to him. God I could practically
feel the pain coming from him. It never ceases to amaze me that so many kids are
often afraid of fictitious monsters and things that go bump in the night when I have
found that the worst monsters usually come in the form of people who are supposed
to protect us. It was a bunch of bullshit if you asked me…which no one ever did.

So then when he told me about those little bastards that tormented him…I just
wanted to fuck them up. How dare a bunch of snot nosed little punks inflict more
pain on someone as good and innocent as Edward was. It pissed me off.

So I decided then and there that I was gonna help Edward the best way I could. I
was gonna teach him everything I knew so people would quit fuckin with him. I just
didn't want him to hurt anymore…I wanted to be his fuckin hero.

I was excited as hell when we got to the park, although I maintained a cool facade.
The stage was set and the three main stars took center stage as the supporting cast
stood on the sidelines to watch. Truth is, sometimes I really liked to fight. It made
me feel powerful and in control. I couldn't control much else about my life so it gave
me that rush that I craved. The only problem was that sometimes I would lose it.
Sometimes I got so into it that everything else faded away and all I could see was
whatever I was attempting to destroy. That usually ended up with me being dragged
away kicking and screaming by several grown ups. But I couldn't lose control in
- 25 -
front of Edward. I wanted to him to think I was tough, not crazy.

Unfortunately for me, I struggled with my self control.

Thank God those three kids were pussies. Not one of them even attempted to fight
back so I stayed in control the whole fight…which lasted about 45 seconds. I think
Edward was impressed…I knew everyone else sure as hell was.

And as predictable as ever, the chicks were eating it up. Don't get me
wrong…girls are okay but they mostly just got on my nerves. But my dad always told
me how important it is to have a 'pretty little lady' on your arm. He was as big a
whore as my mom but at least I didn't have to deal with him.

And my mom always told me that 'I was lucky I was pretty cuz I wasn't good for
nothing else.' So yeah, I used my looks to get what I wanted. But with Edward it's
not like my looks had anything to do with him liking me so I was gonna have to use
whatever else I had…which according to my mama, was absolutely nothing.

Finally we walked up to my house. We had been rambling on about girls and stuff
the whole way…like I said before, my mouth could go a mile a minute while my brain
was somewhere completely different.

I ran up and shot a basket. I began dribbling and Edward laughed. I looked over at
him, "Why ya laughing, dude?"

He pointed at me and said, "You didn't get one drop of blood on you. That shirt is
perfectly clean."

I smiled, "Well good, now I can return it to you the way I got it."

He had some funny little crooked grin on his face, "No, Jay, you keep it."

I shook my head, "Edward, I can't keep your shirt."

He was still smiling and looking at me like I was fuckin Superman again…

Man, I really like that…

"Seriously, Jasper, please keep it. That was the coolest thing I have ever seen and
I can't believe you did that for me. Thank you…and besides, that shirt looks really
good on you." He was looking at the ground again so I ducked my head under to look
at him and smirked, "It does look really good on me, huh?"
- 26 -
 He started laughing and raised his head to look at me, "How are you so cocky like
that?"

I shrugged, "Guys like us can afford to be a little cocky, Edward."

He looked confused and said quietly, "Guys like us?"

You've got to be kidding me…

"Seriously, Edward? You really don't know you're good looking?" I questioned
because how could he not know. I mean, I didn't like boys or anything but even I
knew when a guy looked good or not.

He had that small crooked smile on his face again and looked up at me, "You think
I'm good looking?"

I laughed, "Well it's not like I wanna run off to Vegas and get hitched, Edward but
yeah, you're a good looking guy. I'm sure the girls have noticed, they've probably
just been too brainwashed to act on it."

He sighed and ran a hand through his messy bronze hair, "I don't really like any of
the girls at our school."

I started dribbling and a moment later, we were playing a game. I took it easy on
him cuz he was really trying his hardest. While we played I coached him as best I
could, "You don't have to like them, dude. But it's important that the girls want you.
If the girls want you, the guys will wanna hang out with you because you're
attracting all the chicks."

He laughed again and we kept playing.

The next few weeks passed by quickly. Edward and I hung out everyday and I had
spent the night over there a few more times. Mrs. C. had finally given up on calling
my mom and just told me to stay over whenever I wanted.

It was great. Edward and I would stay up all night talking and playing video
games or watching movies. We would raid the kitchen in the middle of the night and
they always had food in it. It was awesome.

It turns out that Edward was pretty damn talkative once he broke out of his shell.
We practiced him looking me in the eye when he talked. I would see him glance at
the ground every now and then but he mostly looked at me. He was doing really
- 27 -
great.

I told him that he had to stop cutting himself. I told him that whenever he felt the
urge to do it…to call me instead and he could just tell me what was going on in his
head so he could get his release that way. He had called me three times and just
venting to me had helped. He hadn't cut since the day we met and his cuts were
mostly healed and practically gone. I was really proud of him.

And since the scars had faded and I had been helping him dress better…Eddie-boy
had slid into his cocky persona pretty damn well. The little fucker was gonna give
me a run for my money…

We spent some time at the park a few days a week…not too much but enough to
keep them all interested. Mike, Eric, or Tyler hadn't ever shown back up there. It
was mostly us surrounded by girls. And now, they were starting to take a big
interest in my little Edward.

We had been talking to Lauren and Jessica. They were annoying as fuck but
looked pretty good and suited our purposes just fine. I internally laughed my ass off
watching Edward go to work.

Jessica purred, "Wow, Edward. How did I never notice how cute you were?"

Edward gave her that cocky ass crooked grin and ran his thumb down her jaw. He
spoke in a velvet voice, "Hmm…it doesn't matter because you see me now don't
you?"

She was fuckin putty in his hands, "Yeah I see you Edward."

I watched as he licked his lips and said, "And you like what you see now, don't
you?"

She was dazzled into submission, "Yeah Edward. We should totally hang out…like
all of us meet at the movies or something tonight. It would be so awesome."

I mentally groaned and I'm sure Edward did the same thing. He smirked and
looked over at me. I smirked back and said, "Sorry, ladies, but we're busy tonight." I
squeezed Edward's shoulder a bit and said, "C'mon, dude. We got shit to do."

We started to walk away and Lauren yelled out, "What about tomorrow night?"

Edward turned his head and smiled, "Sorry, we've got plans already. But you can
- 28 -
ask again sometime if you want."

We laughed our asses off the whole way back to his house.

We ran up to his room and flopped down on his bed, giggling our asses off at how
well this corny shit was working.

After we calmed down he sighed, "Jay, have you ever kissed a girl?"

I looked over at him, "Yeah dude. Lots of times. Haven't you ever kissed a girl?"

He shook his head and spoke quietly, "No…this is all new to me and to be honest,
I'm scared as hell about it. What if I really suck at it?"

I sat up on my elbow and looked at him. I thought for a minute about how to help
him. I could try explaining it but that wouldn't really work.

Finally I took a deep breath and said, "You need to practice, Edward. Practice
makes perfect, remember? You need to find someone you trust who will tell you the
truth."

He rolled his eyes, "You're the only person I trust and you're a boy so that's not
going to work."

I got up and walked to his door and locked it. He looked at me confused and I just
shrugged, "You can practice on me if you want?"

I had never been so fuckin nervous in my whole life but I said I would help him in
any way that I could. I had never kissed a boy before but it really couldn't be much
different than kissing a girl. I knew that my dad would kill me if he ever found out
but I certainly intended to never speak of this again.

His face turned red and I smiled as I put my hand on his shoulder, "Calm down,
Eddie. Girls practice on their friends all the time. You don't have to if you don't
want…but I promise to never tell anyone and I can help you if you suck at it."

He took a minute to calm himself down before looking up at me and whispering,

"Really?"

I smiled, "Yeah. It's not a big deal, Eddie. Besides, I'd do anything for you…you're
my best friend."

- 29 -
 He was still red and he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose,
"Um…would it be…the…um…same as kissing a…girl?"

I ducked my head and said quietly, "Edward, look at me."

He lifted his head and I could feel that he was scared. So I figured I'd try to make
him laugh, "Yeah, dude. It will be just like kissing Jessica only I'm better looking and
will probably do it better."

He started laughing and just shook his head. Then he took a deep breath and he
raised his green eyes and said, "Okay."

Holy shit! I can't believe he agreed to this…

Great now I was nervous…but a little excited because I liked to try new shit and I
had never done this before…sick, I know but, whatever…

And besides, I knew I was a good kisser so that didn't worry me…I guess what
worried me was that this was his first kiss…my first kiss sucked…I wanted his to be
good and like I said before, my self control was not the greatest. I tended to be
pretty aggressive when it came to this stuff when it was something I really wanted. I
was gonna have to slow it down and take my time. I don't want this to be bad for
him…

We were sitting on the edge of his bed, facing each other with one leg underneath
us and the other hanging off the edge.

I took a sharp breath and whispered, "I'll kiss you first. I'll go slow and when I
think you're ready, I'll deepen the kiss. If you ever wanna stop, Edward, just tell me
to stop and I will, okay?"

God he looked like he was gonna pass out from fear.

He needed some confidence so I thought I'd give him a boost. I leaned into his ear
and whispered, "I heard that Edward Cullen was the hottest boy in town…" Then I
softly dragged my lips across his cheek.

He sucked in a sharp breath as I reached the corner of his mouth. I looked up and
saw his green eyes staring at mine. His panicked wide eyes had dulled into a curious
gaze. So I kept my eyes on his as I brushed his lips with mine. I wanted him to trust
me. I know he said he didn't remember his dad's face so I thought if we looked at
each while we kissed for awhile, it might help reassure him that it was okay because
- 30 -
it was me and I could never hurt him.

At first he was kinda rigid and unsure…but after a minute he let out a breath that
he had been holding and he started kissing me back. His lips were surprisingly soft
and really smooth and…that was nice because most of the girls I kissed usually had
on that nasty lip gloss crap. I hated that stuff…it always tastes funny and makes
their lips all slick…it was always some weird flavor…I mean, I don't wanna taste
fruit and bubble gum and all that sweet stuff when I kiss…I wanna taste lips and
tongue and breath…I don't wanna taste the person that I'm kissing with artificial
sweetener.

And speaking of tasting…Edward had visibly calmed down as his eyes closed and
his head tilted just slightly…so I closed my eyes and very slowly I brushed my
tongue softly across his bottom lip while I sucked it between my lips gently.

His lips parted and I deepened the kiss. Edward tasted perfect…he tasted fresh
and clean and just…real. I slowly started exploring his mouth with my tongue and
after a few moments, I felt his tongue pass my lips and taste me.

He was timid at first but after a few minutes, he calmed down and began having
more confidence in his movements. And when he loosened up a bit…

Christ he's really good at this…

We continued kissing and when I sensed his breathing becoming ragged, I slowly
pulled away so that he could breathe.

His eyes opened and instead of the scared unsure look I thought he might
have…he looked happy. He was smiling and blushing but just a little bit. I smiled
back at him and he whispered, "Um…how was I?"

Oh yeah, he's just practicing…

"You did real good, Edward. You've got nothing to worry about," that's what I said
but I was thinking…

That was the best kiss of my entire life and any girl who gets to kiss you better
realize just how lucky she is…

His face lit up even more, "Really?"

I laughed, "Yeah, dude. Really."

- 31 -
 He was quiet for a minute but I don't think he felt awkward. I was just trying to
control the urge to kiss him again because I really liked it and I wanted more. But I
knew that I had to control myself and not let this get out of hand. He was my best
friend and I didn't wanna mess his head up.

I started to get off the bed when his hand grabbed my knee and he said, "Wait!"

I sat back down and looked curiously at him. He quickly yanked his hand away
and took a deep breath. He ran his hand through his hair and began stammering,
"Um…shouldn't I…um…ya know…"

He was absolutely adorable when he got all shy like this but I wanted him to have
confidence in himself, so I put my hand on his shoulder and spoke quietly, "It's okay,
Edward. Tell me what you want to say."

He closed his eyes for a brief second before lifting his head staring into my eyes,
"Practice makes perfect, right? Maybe I should practice more."

I smiled internally…hell yeah he wants to kiss me again…

We spent the entire afternoon kissing. It was incredible and fuck me if he isn't the
best kisser. I was surprised I was able to keep myself under control and not try to
push things further with him because Lord knows I wanted to…

But I did maintain control. When we heard the garage door being opened, he
pulled away from me with ragged, shallow breaths. His hair was even messier than
usual from where my fingers had been locked in it. I'm sure mine looked the same
way.

He jumped up and ran over to his door, unlocking it and turning the knob. He
sucked in a deep breath and said, "Uh…want a sandwich?"

I smiled and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before taking a deep breath
and getting off the bed, "Yeah. I'm starving. Let's go eat."

So Edward's first kiss ended up lasting a whole afternoon and I think he enjoyed it
as much as I did.

We never so much as mentioned it again. Our friendship just continued to grow

stronger as the weeks turned into months. Soon we were halfway through the first
semester at Forks Middle School. Edward and I were the most popular boys in our
class. We finally agreed to a date at the movies with Jessica and Lauren.
- 32 -
 Edward's mom dropped us off and we met them there. It didn't take long for
Lauren to attack my mouth and Jessica quickly followed suit with Edward the
moment the lights were off.

As I was kissing Lauren, my mind was elsewhere. In fact, almost every time I had
kissed a girl, my mouth was on autopilot while my mind roamed free. The only
person I ever actually concentrated my efforts on was Edward. I had wanted to kiss
him again on several occasions but I never let myself give in to the temptation.

I opened my eyes and saw Edward looking at me while he was kissing Jessica. He
had a scared look in his eye and he was rigid. This was his first kiss with a girl and
Jessica didn't look like she was very good at it. The girls eyes were closed and they
were both completely into what we were doing.

So I reached out my arm out between us and slid my hand up his back until it
rested on the small of his back. The skin of his back was so hot on my hand and I
started rubbing small circles with my thumb. He calmed down almost immediately
and relaxed into the kiss.

Once the movie was over and the girls got picked up by Lauren's mom, me and
Edward were waiting for his mom to pick us up.

I nudged Edward in the shoulder and said, "So, dude, how was it?"

He grimaced, "You were right when you said that you were probably better at it."

I laughed. It was the first time either of us had mentioned that kiss and I was glad
that I was better at it than Jessica. I wasn't jealous or anything…I wanted Edward to
have all these normal experiences that boys are supposed to have. But I'd be lying if
I didn't say that secretly I wanted to be the best kiss he had.

We went out with Jessica and Lauren maybe once every couple of months. Enough
to keep them interested but not too much to drive us crazy or make them think that
we were serious about them.

7th grade passed without a hitch and the summer came again. Edward and I both
turned 14. His mom and dad celebrated my birthday with me. They were great.
Everything was ladi-fuckin-da with my mom and her boyfriend so we had stuck
around for awhile. I was thankful because I really like it here.

The summer was great. Edward and I had a few other guys we hung out with
every now and then but we mostly hung out together. I taught him to how to fight
- 33 -
and he taught me how to read music. We spent a lot of time playing music. He loved
it when I played my guitar and sang. His favorite song of the moment was Kryptonite
by 3 Doors Down so I learned it and played it for him. And he was incredible on the
piano. The guy was a fuckin genius. If I was having a bad day with my mom or
something, he would play something for me and it would calm me down.

8th grade started much like 7th. Edward and I weren't talking to Lauren and
Jessica anymore…now we were talking to Maria and Tanya. It worked out pretty
good because they were freshman so they went to the high school. Which means we
generally only had to see them once or twice a week.

Winter break came fast and I was a little bummed because Edward and his mom
and dad left town for a week to visit family of Carlisle's in Chicago.

I hated the holidays. Christmas depressed the shit out of me. The one year I
remember actually having a tree was ingrained in my memory. I was eight years old
and one of my mom's boyfriend's, Ray, I think his name was…anyway, he put up an
old artificial tree and let me decorate it. It was actually one of the nice things I
remembered. But my mom came home in a drunken stupor and accused him of
fucking around with me. He never actually did although several of my mom's
boyfriend's have in the past. My mom was a magnet for perverts and
assholes…probably because she was so fuckin messed up all the time.

She threw her boot at him but she missed and it hit me in the face. And you would
think that when a mom accuses a boyfriend of messing around with her 'baby boy',
she would take the child with her when she left. My mom didn't. She went straight
to the bathroom and caked more makeup on her face. Then she stumbled into the
living room and started for the door. I grabbed her arm and asked her where she
was going. She shoved me backward into the tree, knocking it to the ground as all
the ornaments broke. She said she was going to Hell.

Ray helped me get cleaned up and cleaned up the mess from the tree, then he told
me that he was sorry but he couldn't stay there anymore. He left in the middle of the
night. The next morning was Christmas. So I got up and made myself a baloney
sandwich and a glass of water because the milk was spoiled. I sat on the couch and
watched cartoons. My mom didn't come home until the next day. And sadly, that was
the best Christmas I had since I had been with her.

So I laid in bed for two days while Edward was gone. I didn't sleep or eat…I just
laid there and thought. I thought about any and everything. My thoughts usually
rattled off at a mile a minute and never focused on one thing too long. The only
thought that seemed to stick with me was Edward. He was the only person I trusted
- 34 -
completely and even though he knew the real me who slept on a mattress on the
floor and used a milk crate as a nightstand, he never judged me or made me feel
bad. In fact, he still looked at me like I was Superman.

I had taken a couple of my mom's Xanax and was washing it down with a swallow
of Vodka when I heard a tap at my window.

I looked with eyes half glazed over and saw Edward standing there with a Santa
hat on. I started laughing hysterically because his cheeks were all pink and then I
realized…dumbass, it's cold out there, let him in.

I jumped up and stumbled across the room. I unlocked the window and threw it
open. It was cold as shit and I jumped back instinctively as he jumped in. I was only
wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. My house was a one story so it was easy for
him. He turned around and shut the window.

He turned back around and I started laughing again. He had a silly grin on his
face and he laughed, "Merry Christmas, Jay. Have you been naughty or nice?"

I kept laughing and laid back down on my bed. He took off his hat, coat, gloves,
and boots and sat down across from me on the floor. Once I stopped laughing, I
sighed, "Hmm…well, Santa, I've probably been a little more naughty than nice…but
I like to think I'm both."

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. I glanced at the clock behind him and
then my clouded brain caught notice, "Edward, it's almost 2 o'clock in the morning.
What are you doing here?"

He smiled, "It's Christmas and you're my best friend. Where else should I be?"

I laid my weary head back down on the pillow. Those pills and vodka were starting
to really take effect. "When did you get back, Eddie?"

I closed my eyes and tried to keep my thoughts together as he spoke. "Um…we

just got back a few hours ago. I slept on the plane and was wide awake so I thought
I'd sneak out and come see you. Besides, I come bearing gifts."

I looked over at him and everything was hazy except for those eyes. They were
bright and stood out in the darkness of my room. "Edward…please tell me you didn't
get me something for Christmas, man…"

Everything shifted out of focus a bit and I laid my head back down. I felt the
- 35 -
mattress shift as he sat next to me, "Yeah," he whispered, "It's not a big deal…it's
just something I thought you could use."

He handed me a small box and I fumbled with the paper. This was the first gift I
had gotten in a long time and I didn't even get him anything. I felt like shit but
also…kind of special.

When I opened the box, I lifted my hooded eyes to his bright green ones, "This is
too expensive…"

He got me an Ipod. He shrugged, "It wasn't that expensive, you know I get a
decent allowance and besides…you need something to listen to. You don't have a
stereo and I know you love music as much as I do. I'd go crazy without something to
listen to…"

I sat up on my elbow and tried to focus, "You shouldn't have done this…you know I
can't get you anything."

He put his hand on my shoulder and sighed, "Jasper, you've already given me
everything. I have a life now. I'm happy. That's worth more than anything. So just
take the damn thing and quit bitching about it."

I laughed and I could see his smirk. "Thanks, Edward."

"You're welcome. I went ahead and downloaded a bunch of music on it. I know
what you like so I think I got all your favorites but if there's something you want,
just let me know."

Of course you did…because you're absolutely perfect…

I saw him shiver and then noticed that the snow from his hair had melted. There
was a laundry basket with clean clothes I had washed by my bed so I reached for a
towel and handed it to him. He took it and began drying his crazy hair.

I reached over and grabbed the bottle of vodka, "Merry Christmas, Eddie. This
should warm you up."

He took the bottle and whispered, "What's this?"

I leaned back up on my elbows, "Vodka."

"You're drinking?"
- 36 -
 I smiled because yeah I was drinking but the pills were probably more dominant
than the alcohol, "Yeah. A little bit."

He looked at me and seemed to be hesitant, then I gained my senses and realized

I shouldn't have done that. Edward didn't need this shit.

"Never mind, Eddie. Just let me get my boots and coat and I'll walk you home. It's
really late and you gotta be tired.," I started to get off the mattress when his hand
grabbed my arm, "Wait…um…I am kind of tired and I don't think I want to walk
home right now. How about you set your alarm clock for 5:00 am. That way I can
stay and hang out awhile but get a couple hours of sleep too before going back
home. My parents aren't working tomorrow so they'll sleep until at least 8 am."

Well shit…how can I argue with that…

I sighed, "Okay, Edward but I'm only gonna pour you a couple of shots." I poured
him a small shot. I didn't like this…at all.

Luckily he started coughing immediately and squeaked out, "Christ that shit's
nasty."

I laughed and put the lid back on the bottle. I pulled the blanket back and said,
"C'mon, dude, I know you're cold. Do you want some clothes to change into?"

I noticed his clothes were a little wet from the snow and I'm sure his jeans weren't
comfortable.

"Um…yeah."

I grabbed him a pair of sweat pants, a long sleeve t-shirt, and some socks. He
quickly changed in the darkness since I didn't have a bathroom attached to my
bedroom. Then he crawled under the blanket and let out a deep sigh. I smiled,
"Better?"

He laughed softly and I could tell he was tired, "Yeah. Thanks, Jay."

We were laying on our sides looking at each other. He was still all flushed from
the cold.

"So, how was your Christmas, Edward? Did you have fun with your family?" I
hoped he had because mine had sucked…up until he showed up anyway.

- 37 -
 He sighed, "No not really. I mean, I do good with my mom and dad but with that
many aunts and uncles and cousins…I just…can't handle it by myself."

I sat up on my elbow, "What do you mean?"

He turned to lay on his back, "I don't know how to explain it without sounding
weird."

I sighed, "Then just say it the best way you can and if it sounds weird…so what?
Everyone's weird."

He took a breath and said, "Well, it's just…like…I don't know how to…feel things
without you around. When we're together I can kind of feed off of whatever vibe
you're throwing out. So on my own…everything just gets jumbled and I don't know
how to handle it so I either freak out or shut down."

He slowly slid his arm out…

Shit…

I lifted his sleeve and saw bright red scratches and scars down his arm again. I
sighed, "Why didn't you call me?" He spoke softly, "Long distance."

I nodded and pulled his sleeve back down. "It's okay, Edward. I wish I could've
helped you but at least it's winter so the long sleeves will hide it until they heal.
Don't worry yourself about it…everybody messes up once in awhile."

He smiled a weak smile, "How is it you can always calm me down?"

I shrugged, "I don't know but you do it for me too. I took Xanax with the vodka
before you came over. I don't even remember taking it until I had already done it."

He sighed, "Do you feel okay?"

I yawned, "Yeah, just tired. I haven't slept much."

He smiled and closed his eyes, "Me neither. Night, Jasper."

"Night, Edward."

I quickly set my alarm clock and laid back down. My mind was dizzy at this point
and soon I fell asleep.
- 38 -
 Much too soon, the damn alarm clock was blaring. I reached over and smacked it
then wrapped my arms back around Edward and nuzzled my nose to his cheek. Then
I realized that I had wrapped my arms around Edward and was nuzzling my nose to
his cheek!

Good God what the fuck did I do now…

His sleepy eyes parted for just a second before he moved his head and brushed his
lips across mine. My eyes opened half way and I saw his do the same thing. I guess
we were both making sure that the other one was awake too and fully aware of what
we were getting ready to do.

He puckered his soft lips against mine and his warm hand slid up my arm and into
my hair. I gripped the back of his t-shirt at the hem where my arm was wrapped
around him. I fisted it and pulled him closer to me. My other hand went to the nape
of his neck and my fingers twisted in the hair there.

The soft gentle kisses continued for a few minutes…I was determined that I was
not going to be the one to push this further. If he showed me he wanted more…then
I would give him more.

I felt his tongue slide across my bottom lip and when I parted my lips, he gently
tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth. I couldn't help the groan that escaped my
lips…

Fuck…he's gotten even better at this…

He had leaned over top of me and pushed me back down onto the mattress. He
kept his body held off mine but he kissed me much more aggressively than I had
ever seen him kiss a girl. And I had never been kissed like how he was kissing me.
So I let him have control of it …for awhile anyway. Our hands pulled at hair and
t-shirts but we never went any further.

And I was fuckin putty in Edward Cullen's hands…

After awhile my aggressive nature kicked in and I began pushing him back until
he was flat on his back. I was completely lost to this now. We kissed like that for
awhile and finally I moved to his neck as he raked in a sharp breath and then he
made this really long low growling noise…it raised the hair on the back of my neck
and it took every ounce of self control I had to not press myself into him. But I was
good and just continued sucking and kissing his neck and jaw and ear.

- 39 -
 Then he groaned, "Shit.. it's 6:30, Jay. I have to go home."

I reluctantly pulled away with a groan. Now that I was no longer submerged into
the goodness that is Edward Cullen…I had a headache and my body was sore from
lying in bed for two days. I looked up and saw it was still dark outside and snowing.

Man I hate the fuckin cold…

I stood up and helped him up. I pulled on a hoodie and grabbed my boots. Edward
whispered as he pulled on his hoodie over his t-shirt, "You can go back to bed, Jay."

I shook my head and yawned, "No way man. It's still dark outside and I'm walking
you home."

He furrowed his brows, "I'm a big boy, Jay, I can walk home by myself."

I wasn't in the mood to argue. I knew he was perfectly capable of walking home by
his self…but I was walking him home anyway and he knew it.

So I just smiled, "Quit yer bitching and throw me my coat…you're not gonna win
this one, man."

He just rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine."

He threw me my coat and he went to the window. I laughed, "Dude? Front door."

"What about your mom?"

"What about her? She hasn't been here for two days…"

Edward looked over at me, "You've been by yourself all Christmas?"

I shrugged, "Yeah. It was a very peaceful holiday for me, just the way I like it."

We left the house and began the walk to his house. This shit was going to suck
because it took like a half hour to get there and it was fucking cold outside.

We were both huddled in our coats and after about ten minutes, I huffed, "Jesus
Christ Edward, what the hell were you thinking coming out in this shit?"

He shivered but looked over at me and smiled, "I was thinking about you."

- 40 -
 I smiled back and decided to quit giving him shit about it. Once we got to the half
way mark he stopped, "Go home, Jasper. I can go the rest of the way by myself. That
way we have to walk the same distance."

I shook my head and kept walking, "Uh huh…c'mon." He huffed, "Don't be so

damn stubborn."

I turned and looked at him, then grabbed his hand and pulled him along, "No. I
won't be able to sleep until I see you go inside your house so just c'mon. It's too cold
to argue about it."

His hand was really warm in mine so I didn't let it go. It was still dark out so no
one would've been able to see. He came along easily and finally we were walking up
Edward's driveway.

The sun was finally starting to rise and my eyes felt like they were on fire. We
walked around to the side garage door. He entered in the security code and opened
the door. He whispered, "Come in the garage for a minute."

I followed him in and he shut the door, "Stay here a minute. I'll be right back."

I nodded and watched him walk into the house. The garage was heated so it was
nice and toasty in there. My hands and feet were all tingly from the cold. A couple of
minutes later he came back out with a thermos and a scarf. He handed me the
thermos and whispered, "Here…it's hot chocolate for the walk back. And here's a
scarf to keep your face warm because you're going to be facing the wind on your
walk back…"

God he's absolutely perfect…

He wrapped the scarf around my neck a couple of times and smiled, "Well, call me
when you wake up and we'll hang out."

I nodded and whispered, "Okay, get some sleep. I'll talk to you later."

I wanna kiss him…I wanna kiss him…fuck, don't kiss him…don't kiss him…

He smiled, "I will, Jay. See you later."

I turned and opened the garage door and left. I replayed everything over and over
again in my head on the walk home. And then all the questions began running
through my mind…
- 41 -
 What does this mean? Have things changed between us? Was it gonna take us
another year and a half before we talked about what happened? Why does he seem
to want this as bad as I do? Did I mess him up when I kissed him the first time? Is
this my fault? Is it a bad thing that I want to kiss him?

By the time I got home, my head was killing me. So I quickly took a hot shower,
then popped a couple of Vicoden and went to bed.

Hopefully you guys are sticking with me…

- 42 -
 Chapter 3

Wow! First let me say, thank you so much for the reviews. I am really
overwhelmed that I have received so many already for the first two chapters.
You guys like me, huh? Cool. Anyhoo, for those of you who have read An
Imperfect Love, you know that I tend to go balls to the wall when writing, so
things will begin to pick up a bit soon. You've been warned.

Now, I hope you enjoy. Thanks again!

Playlist: Tangled Up In You - Staind

Edward's POV

I watched him walk away through a window in the garage and I could feel my
anxiety pick up with each step that took him further away from me.

I am in so much trouble…

I went into the house and ran up to room. I peeled off my clothes and climbed into
a hot shower. I sat down and buried my hands into my hair and just let the hot water
wash over me.

Why does he have this affect on me? What's wrong with me?

I remembered back to my first kiss. I was scared out of my mind but he knew
exactly what I needed…

"I heard that Edward Cullen was the hottest boy in town…" His breath was hot on
my neck. His honey voice dripping the sweet sticky nectar of his words in my ear. I
felt the hair on my arms and neck stand up as his smooth firm lips dragged across
my cheek leaving a trail of fire in it's path…

His sky blue eyes were darkening into a storm of indigo as they pierced mine
through half-lidded gazes and long onyx lashes. His eyes stayed on mine as his sure
lips found my trembling ones. He was asking for trust through his eyes and lips but
it wasn't him that I didn't trust.

I didn't trust my traitor brain and treacherous thoughts that lingered on my best
friend way too much to be anything but completely wrong. The first moment I saw

- 43 -
him, he was golden.

He was still golden to me but so much more now. He was my hero…everything he

told me to do had worked flawlessly. He was my dark angel in a sea of demons with
his truthful blue eyes and his halo of golden curls.

To me, he symbolized that idea of perfection…tall, blonde hair, blue eyes,

beautiful face, and lean body. But he was so much more than just a pretty face. He
was strong and tough…he didn't take shit from anyone…everyone at our school
either loved him or hated him but everyone respected him. But he was always really
nice to me.

He was powerful and when I was around him the intoxication of it made me feel
strong. When I was with Jasper, I could be whatever I wanted to be. I drew my
strength from him.

All of this information swirled around in my head like a cyclone. My head was
filled with thoughts and memories that seemed so far detached from reality that it
was as if they weren't even my own.

Memories of the rough tips of fingers slowly sliding the sticky cotton fabric up the
sweaty contour of my back. Drawing small infinite circles upon the heated flesh
there. Dark theatres and a pretty girl's lips attached to mine were crushed against
the weight of those scorching fingertips. They burned their mark upon my back and
sent the strength of their flames coursing up my spine and into my lips and my
tongue so that I can kiss the pretty girl back now. But its those fingers that hold my
mind…

An afternoon of sweet lingering kisses as we lay on my bed. His strong fingers tug
at my hair and mine are wrapped in golden curls. Lying side by side…the space
between our bodies surging with a buzz of new energy as I enjoy the feel of his
velvet lips more than I know I should.

And his tongue held the sweet nectar of his honey voice…just a little saccharine
but more so thick and sultry as it clings to my mouth and lures my tongue into his
with promises of more.

And I think to myself when Jessica's slick cherry lip gloss invades my memories of
pure sticky honey…this is wrong. This is not what it's supposed to taste like. It
should be hot and sweet and…Jasper. But his fingertips remind me that this is all an
act and so my mouth delivers the performance of a lifetime with my tongue as the
lead and my hands and lips, the supporting cast. And on the reel-to-reel in my mind,
- 44 -
memories of strong fingers and soft golden curls and sugary sticky honey are
playing over and over again to get me through this performance.

The cold spray finally brings me from my incessant thoughts and manic ramblings.
I turn off the water and grab a towel. I use it to wipe off the mirror before wrapping
it around my waist and gazing at the boy who looks back at me with an evil glint in
his eye of a secret.

At first I thought that maybe it just felt so wrong because it was Jessica. Jasper
suggested we go for something better. He had a thing for Maria, who had quite the
reputation, but she was older than us. Jasper didn't see it as a challenge.

She was outside on her front porch with her friend Tanya when Jasper walked
over and started talking to her in Spanish. She started giggling, looked down at his
crotch and said something back to him. I watched as that devious smile spread
across his face and that wicked glimmer flashed in his blue eyes. He told me once
that he liked the girls but he loved the chase. And right now he had the look of a
predator who was going for the kill.

He leaned one hand against the wall next to her and whispered in her ear soft
Spanish words in that lazy southern drawl.

Then he turned around and walked away.

She was left to stare at him with her mouth hanging open and eyes full of
curiosity. I asked Jasper, "What did you say to her?"

He laughed, "I said, 'Your boyfriend is an asshole. I'm an asshole too but I'm
better looking and have a bigger dick. So when you want to upgrade…come find
me."

"Then she said, "Hmm…maybe I will." And I said, "There is no maybe to it. You
will. And I'm not a patient man so don't make me wait long."

He smiled at me, "I give it two days, tops, before she's mine. You could go for
Tanya."

It still amazed me that he the balls to do those kinds of things. But the seductive
drawl of cocky Spanish words whispered with the slow southern twang that fell from
his lazy tongue…made my body react in ways that boys are not supposed to react to
other boys and I found myself stuck in his wicked web along with all his other
conquests.
- 45 -
 It only took 6 hours before she called him and said that she broke up with her
boyfriend. Maria hooked me up with Tanya. Tanya was beautiful…I guess…that's
what everyone kept telling me anyway. And I guess I could see their point, she was
tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, and a pretty face. But that was all she had. Other than
that, she was completely vapid.

Perfect Tanya with her lengthy legs and full round breasts…that did nothing for
me other than remind me that I was defective.

But I thought that maybe having this gorgeous girl's lips to mine would somehow
feel right.

Tiny slender fingers and long fake fingernails scratching at my scalp are
completely wrong. I'm thinking of short nails and strong fingers.

So what do you do when you hate to kiss girls? You keep your mouth shut and do
it anyway because that's what we're supposed to do. And then you try kissing more
of them, praying to God that you can find one that you actually want to kiss. And
when you can't seem to find one, your mind keeps wandering to the boy who gave
you a perfect first kiss…

So I had to go to his house last night with every intention of kissing him again. I
just had to know…were my memories really that good? Was it just because it was my
first kiss? Why was it so much better with him? Maybe it was because it was
taboo…maybe I'm masochistic or something.

The knock on the bathroom door startled me and I yelled, "Shit!" I heard my dad
say in a stern voice, "Language young man. Get dressed and come out here."

Great…

I quickly pulled on some flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve tee. I walked out
and my dad was sitting on my bed.

I muttered, "Um…sorry about the language, dad."

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Don't let me hear it again. Your mom and I are
headed into Seattle for the day to hit the after Christmas sales. Do you want to
come? We're going to get lunch and maybe dinner…depending on how carried away
your mom gets."

I laughed, "Um…I'll just stay home if you don't care. I didn't sleep well and I think
- 46 -
I'm going to go back to bed."

He got up and said, "That's fine, son. We'll be gone for awhile but we have our cell
phones. No one in the house…except Jasper, of course, but no girls."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, "Sure, dad, that's no problem."

He smiled, "Alright, you know the rules, make sure you follow them."

I nodded, "Yes, sir."

He left my room and I crawled into bed and finally let my thoughts linger to this
morning…

I remember scooting closer to him last night so that I could make sure he was
breathing…and so I could smell his breath wash over my face. I had wanted to kiss
him but when he said that he had been drinking, I just couldn't do it. I needed his
help but I couldn't ask him for it when he was drunk.

I worried about the drinking and the pills. He didn't do it all the time but I had
seen him on several occasions popping something. He got them from his mom and
her boyfriend. Some they gave him…some he stole from them. I had talked to him
about it before but he said that he could handle it and it was no big deal. So, I had to
believe him because I know he wouldn't lie to me and he was tough and strong, he
could handle it, right?

That's why I knew that if I talked to him about what was going on with me, he
would make me feel better. He would tell me that it wasn't a big deal and he would
help me figure out a way to fix it. That's just what he did. I could talk to him about
anything…I trusted him more than anyone.

My life had been pretty sheltered before Jasper. I mean, I didn't really understand
the guys when they would all get together and talk about girls. I remember the first
time I heard them talking about blow jobs…I had no idea what it meant. My parents
were strict on the movies I watched and since none of the other kids had ever really
talked to me before Jasper, I guess I was a late bloomer. And obviously my dad
never felt any reason to have "the talk" with me at that point because I didn't even
have any friends, let alone girlfriends.

So when I asked Jasper later that night when we were alone what it meant, he
explained it to me and he never made me feel weird or stupid because I didn't know.
He always made me feel better and I needed him to make me feel better about this.
- 47 -
 So as I lay there watching him sleep, I'm surprised when his hand flails out and
lands on my hip. I look at him but he's obviously sleeping. But I like the feel of it so I
don't move. And then a moment later, his fingers are clenching my shirt and pulling
me closer. I go with it and seconds later I am snuggling into his neck. Once there, he
quits stirring and he sighs. I shakily reach my hand out and rest it on his chest, over
his heart. The rhythmic beat of his heart plays like a lullaby. He smiles in his sleep
and mumbles something incoherent. He sleep talks every now and then so that was
nothing new.

But then his other arm slides underneath me and both arms are pulling me even
closer. He mumbles and smiles against my cheek and I feel safe and warm and
normal. And it doesn't take long until I'm waking up to heavy breathing against my
cheek and arms that haven't let go of me yet.

Still functioning with a sleepy mind, my eyes part for just a moment and see half
lidded blue eyes. My eyes close and my head turns so our lips brush against one
another. Then my eyes opened again to make sure he was awake.

He was still this time as his hooded sleepy blue eyes looked into mine. He was
waiting to see my reaction. I know Jasper…if he didn't want to kiss me, he would've
pulled away. But he wasn't, he was just gauging my reaction and making sure I was
okay.

And I was better than okay. So, I kissed him first this time.

Our lips would pucker and brush one another. His lips were smooth and strong
against mine. My hands moved on their own until they were tangled in golden curls.
Then I felt his hand clench the fabric of my shirt as his knuckles slid across my back.
Strong fingers grasped the hair at the nape of my neck and rough fingertips
scratched at my scalp.

This is right…

And I waited for him to make a move…but he didn't. So, I took control because I
had to fucking know. I had to know if I could enjoy kissing as much he always did. I
watched him kiss other girls and he never gave them soft languid kisses like he did
me…with them it was more aggressive. I couldn't kiss a girl like that. It was too
foreign. I always waited for the girl to kiss me first because I never really wanted to
do it.

Well, I really wanted to kiss him right now so I slid my tongue across his bottom
lip…mmm…honey…I grazed his plump lip with my teeth and he groaned.
- 48 -
 Jasper Whitlock was the hottest boy in Forks…hell, in my opinion, Jasper Whitlock
is the hottest boy in existence. And I made him groan. My body reacted to this by
rolling over so that he is trapped underneath my lips and tongue. My elbows on
either side of his perfect face and my fingers tugging on blonde locks.

Jasper Whitlock is not kissing me…I am kissing Jasper Whitlock.

And I feel powerful and sure of myself and in control…and I like it.

And now… I am making out with Jasper Whitlock.

But I knew he wouldn't let me keep the power too long…Jasper was a dominant
creature by nature. He liked to be in control.

Both of his hands went to my hips and he pushed me back into the mattress. There
was much less space between our bodies this time and it was everything I could do
to keep myself from touching something that I shouldn't. And, God, when his lips
and tongue and teeth went to the crook of my neck…I growled. I didn't even know I
was capable of growling but he elicited one from me. It was just too good…how does
he make everything feel so good?

He makes me absolutely crazy…he makes my body feel things it has never

experienced…he makes me want more.

The sound of the phone snaps me to reality and I reach over and grab it from my
nightstand, "Hello?"

"Hey. You're awake," he sounded exhausted and I could hear yelling and loud
music in the background.

"Um…yeah. Haven't been able to sleep. What's going on?"

He sighed, "I'm really fuckin tired, man and I can't sleep here…" then he yelled
the next part, "cuz my sorry excuse of a mother is entertaining guests at 9:30 in the
goddamn mornin!"

I heard his mom yell something back and then her boyfriend was screaming. Then
I heard Jasper say, "Touch me and I'll break your fuckin hand. Now get outta my
fuckin room." Then he huffed, "Fuck! Can I come to your house and crash for a few
hours?"

I smiled, "Yeah, Jay. Come over."

- 49 -
 He sighed, "Thanks, Eddie. See you soon."

As soon as we hung up, I thought that Jasper should probably eat something. I
knew he was too tired to make himself something when he got home and I was
positive his worthless mother didn't feed him.

I ran down to the kitchen and began looking through the fridge. My mom had
always told me it was important for me to learn to cook and suddenly I was grateful
that she had taught me. Blueberries. We had some and Jasper loved blueberry
pancakes. He had never had them until my mom made them one morning. Now she
keeps a supply on hand for any pancake emergencies. This was just that emergency.

I quickly pulled together everything and in no time I was pouring the batter into
the pan.

By the time I had a stack of hot pancakes ready, the doorbell rang. I ran to the
door and when I opened it, I was worried. His eyes were so bloodshot they were
almost completely red and he leaned on the doorway for support.

He smiled anyway, "Hey Eddie."

I smiled back and he came in. He took a deep breath and he suddenly perked up,
"Is your mom making blueberry pancakes?"

I shook my head as I shut the door, "No, they're gone for the day to Seattle.
Shopping and stuff."

He had hung up his coat and taken his boots off so he began walking to the
kitchen.

When he saw the pancakes sitting on the counter he stopped.

I walked past him to the cupboard to grab some plates. And when I turned around,
his hands were pressed into the counter tops on either side of me. His body was
brushing mine and he looked down at me through long thick lashes. He whispered,
"Did you make me blueberry pancakes from scratch?"

My heart was racing as his clear blue eyes with red streaks gazed into mine with a
new kind of intensity. I tried to calm my breathing but my speech was shaky
regardless, "Uh…yeah…I figured you hadn't eaten… and… I know they're your fav…"

And then his lips were on mine. My hands gripped the counter behind me in
- 50 -
surprise at the attack on my lips. He trembled…he actually fucking trembled for a
moment before his teeth caught my bottom lip and gently tugged at it. His satin
tongue was met with my own and we kissed…in my parents kitchen…against the
countertop.

I felt his hands slide over my own and his fingers gripped mine. And with no
roaming fingers, I could focus my attention on the feel of the winter cold that still
radiated from his body. The chill was nice because I was on fire.

And the feel of his powerful fingers clenching mine until our knuckles were white
from the effort.

His sure lips and honey tongue tasting mine. And all too soon, it was over. He
pulled away with that familiar devious smirk and wicked gleam in his eye. Then he
whispered, "Thanks for the pancakes, Eddie."

Then he shook his head and laughed. He sat down at the table, pulled his hood up
and laid his head down on his arms. He growled and groaned something into his
arms. Then he lifted his head and rubbed his hands along his face for a second
before looking over at me. His face was as red as his eyes. He was blushing.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm really fuckin tired right now and my mind is just all over the
place. I shouldn't have done that. Sorry."

I didn't know what to think of that so I folded my arms across my chest and looked
at the ground. I mumbled, "It's okay, Jay."

A moment later his hands were on my shoulder and he was ducking his head down
to look at me. He whispered, "Please don't be mad at me."

I sighed and lifted my head, "Why would I be mad at you?"

He raked his hand through his hair, "For kissing you like that."

I was so confused, "Why would you kiss me if you didn't mean it?"

He let out a breath and looked at me with a smile, "You think I didn't mean it?
Edward, you know me better than that. I don't kiss anyone I don't mean to kiss. I
was apologizing for the way I kissed you. I shouldn't have been so rough with you."

Now I smiled, "Oh…well it's okay, I liked it. I'm not as delicate as a girl, Jay."

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 He ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep breath. Then he turned to me
and smiled, "What a weird fuckin day, huh?" He was blushing again.

I started laughing. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "C'mon,
let's eat, Edward. And seriously, man, thank you for the pancakes."

I smiled over at him, "You're welcome, Jay."

We sat down and ate. We talked a little but both of us were practically walking
zombies once we finished breakfast. We put the dishes in the dishwasher and
headed upstairs.

Once we got in my room, I grabbed him a pair of sweats. He just took his hoodie
off and kept the t-shirt underneath on. I got on my side of the bed and faced away
from him. A minute later I felt him slide in.

He yawned, "Night, Edward."

I barely mumbled, "Night, Jay," before I was out like a light.

When I woke up he was sitting on the window ledge looking out at the snow. I
rubbed my eyes and yawned, "You hate snow. What are you looking at?"

He smiled, "I hate walking in snow…I don't mind it so much as long as I'm looking
at it from inside a warm house."

I sat up and stretched, "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long…maybe half an hour," he replied. I looked at the clock. It was 3:30pm. I
checked my phone and saw that my dad had called so I called him back. They would
be home at around 7pm with dinner.

He was still sitting in the windowsill so I sat down on the piano bench across from
him and pulled my knees up to my chin.

"Are you okay, Jay?" He was really quiet, which was unusual for him. Even when
he was just rattling off about nonsense while his mind was somewhere completely
different, he would be talking. I could always tell when he was doing that because I
could see it in his eyes that his mind was detached from his lips for the moment.

He sighed, "I'm just tired, man."

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 I was worried about him, "Why don't you get some more sleep? You can sleep as
long as you want here, you know that."

He smiled over at me, "Yeah I know but that's not really what I meant. I just…I
feel much older than I should, ya know? I just feel worn down."

I understood that, "Jay? Why don't you talk to my dad? Maybe he can do
something to help."

Jasper sighed, "It doesn't matter at this point, Edward. If something happens with
my mom, I either go to the state or to my dad. Both are worse than where I'm at. If I
go into foster care it's untelling what kind of weirdo's and perverts I might get stuck
with…if I go to my dad's, I get knocked around on a daily basis and treated like I'm
in boot camp. So, it doesn't really matter. If someone would've gave a shit about me
when I was a little kid, then maybe I could've had a chance but it's too late now. I'm
better off here, at least I know what to expect and I have you."

God I hated this…because as much as I hated to believe him, I knew that what he
was saying was true. So I was just going to have to do the best I could to look out for
him myself.

I smiled, "Well, I know just the thing to make you feel young again?"

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "What's that, Eddie?"

"Snowball fight."

He started laughing, "You know I hate snow…"

I interrupted, "No, you said you hated walking in the snow…you said nothing
about playing in the snow. Haven't you ever just played in the snow?"

He shook his head, "No, it seems kinda silly."

I smiled, "It's supposed to be silly. We're still kids, Jay. It's okay to act like it
sometimes. You can be whoever you want when we're in the outside world, but when
you're with me, it's okay to let loose a little and be a kid. I promise I won't tell
anyone. So, let me teach you how to have fun in the snow. We can have a snowball
fight, build a fort, and go sledding. It'll be fun, I promise."

I hopped up and started digging out warm clothes because I knew he wouldn't say
no to me…he never could.
- 53 -
 He laughed and stood up, "Alright, fine but I am so going to kick your ass in the
snowball fight."

So, we dressed up in warm clothes and we went outside and played. And Jasper
laughed like I never saw him laugh before. We spent the whole afternoon playing
around in the snow and the woods. We had a killer snowball fight and yeah, he
kicked my butt. We even built a snowman but he gave it boobs so we had to take
those off before my mom and dad got home. We just hung out and had fun.

By the time we got too cold and came back in the house, it was nearly six. We
were both freezing so I decided to make us some real hot chocolate, like my mom
made. But as I was cutting the chocolate bars, I saw my hands…

They look just like his hands…the middle knuckle that sticks up just a little further
than the other ones…I see the knife in his hands…my hands…I close my eyes and
hear the sound of flesh tearing and muffled screams…I hear the voice of the devil
screaming unspeakable things…I feel his hands on me…my hands…smooth, soft skin
of a business man's hands…sheltered and pampered…and fucking ape shit
crazy…silky fingers running down my spine and declarations of love…blackness…

But then the feeling of rough, calloused fingers sliding over mine and a honey
voice in my ear saying, "Let me do that, Edward."

His hand has taken the knife from mine and I realized that I had been standing
there shaking and unable to cut anything. I looked up and whispered, "Thanks." He
smiled, "Anytime, man."

And I didn't have to explain what happened…he just knew. But he didn't make me
feel worse by making a big deal out of it. He always understood what I needed. He
was wonderful.

My mom and dad got home while we were drinking hot chocolate and watching
The Goonies because it's one of my favorite movies. Jasper liked it too, even if he
wouldn't admit it.

Then after we ate dinner, my parents called us into the living room. The tree was
still up and there were several presents underneath it. They were all for Jasper. He
didn't know what to say…I knew that he hated that he couldn't get stuff for us but I
explained to him that he had given us all stuff. He gave me my life back and a best
friend, and he gave my parents another son. They loved Jasper too.

He got a new basketball and clothes and shoes and socks…and yes, even
- 54 -
underwear. My mom lived for this crap. But his last present was a cell phone. My
dad smiled and said, "Now, son, don't try to tell me that it's too expensive because I
only pay a few dollars a month for another phone line. You can call any of us for
free…and you can call us at anytime. I just expect you to be responsible and make
good choices, okay?"

Jasper nodded and smiled, "Thanks, Carlisle, Esme."

I was really thankful for that gift because Jasper's home phone was always getting
turned off and I would get really worried about him.

We laid around for awhile and watched TV before going up to bed. We took turns
showering and soon we were lying down.

I was facing him this time and we just laid there for a little while and I finally
decided to ask him some questions,

I whispered, "Hey Jay?"

"Yeah?"

I took a deep breath, "Um…do you like…um…kissing girls?"

He thought for a moment and sighed, "Honestly, Edward, not really. I don't really
like kissing that much…" then he smiled at me, "well, I kinda like kissing you…but
anyway, no, I don't really like it much. Other stuff's good though."

I whispered back, "What kind of stuff?"

He shrugged, "Hand jobs are good…blow jobs are better."

And I had to know, "Are you a virgin?"

I watched as he chewed his lip for a second before mumbling, "No."

I'm not sure why but I was surprised. I figured he would have told me if he slept
with anyone.

"Who?"

He sighed, "Her name was Sarah. It was before I moved here. She was the
daughter of my mom's last boyfriend. She was older…fifteen…and she started
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fooling around with me. Then after awhile, I started doing stuff back. So, anyway,
she kinda taught me everything I know…about sex anyway. But she was always such
a bitch about it. She was kinda mean to me about it because I was young and I didn't
really know what I was doing…"

I cut him off suddenly upset, "She molested you."

He sat up and got very defensive, "She did not molest me. I wanted to do those
things…she never forced me…she taught me…"

"She wasn't teaching you, she was using you…"

Now he looked crushed as he looked over at me, "Is that what you think of me? I
mean, I taught you to kiss…"

I shook my head, "That's different…"

He closed his eyes and turned away from me, "She didn't molest me, Edward. I
wanted it, end of story. Good night."

My chest ached because he couldn't accept it. I don't care what he said, she
molested him. If it was before he came here, he would've only been 12 years old. He
was too young to make those kinds of decisions and she was old enough to know
what she was doing.

I didn't want to hurt him though so I whispered, "Jay, I'm sorry. Please turn
around."

He turned and looked at me. I whispered again, "I'm sorry."

He sighed, "It's okay, Eddie. Don't worry about it…sorry I freaked out. It just
wasn't a very good experience for me so I don't like to talk about it."

I nodded, "Okay. Let's talk about something else."

He smiled, "Okay, what do you wanna talk about?"

Now I smiled, "I want to know why you like kissing me."

He laughed, "Seriously, Edward?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I'll tell you why I like kissing you first, if that will make you feel
- 56 -
better."

He smiled, "Okay, you go first."

I felt a little foolish but went anyway, "Um…I like the way you taste…it's kind of
like…honey…"

He giggled, "Honey, huh? Really?"

I nodded and laughed, "I know it's weird…"

He was smiling ear to ear, "It's not weird…it's nice. Besides, you wanna hear
weird? Ya know how everything feels so fresh and clean after a rain storm?"

I nodded. He blushed, "That's what I think you taste like…just real and
untainted…like the calm after the storm. It's really nice."

I reached out and took his hand. I turned it palm up and started running my
fingers along his palm. I said quietly, "I like the way your fingertips feel. These small
calluses from plucking your guitar…I like how rough your hands are…"

He looked inquisitive and he whispered, "Really?"

I nodded and he smiled, "Most girls think my hands are too rough…I've really
messed them up fighting and stuff."

I studied his hands and could see the scars and feel the abrasiveness of his skin
but I liked it. It felt right to me. So I just smiled and whispered, "Well, I like them."

He smiled back, "Thanks, Eddie."

Then he took a breath and whispered, "Um…I like the way you talk."

I wasn't expecting that so I giggled, "Really?"

He smiled and blushed again, "Uh…yeah. You just talk so different from everyone
else. When you get going on a subject that you're real passionate about…you talk
so…I don't know, pretty, I guess. You're really smart, Edward."

Now I was blushing. I knew I talked different…I guess since I basically learned to
talk from grown up doctors and books, it did make me talk different than the other
kids. I was always self conscious about it and tried to talk the way they did but he
- 57 -
was right, when I was passionate about something, I tended to be…um…wordy.

"I like the way you talk too. I like the way your voice sounds."

He laughed, "You like the accent, huh?"

I could feel the fire creeping into my cheeks even hotter, "Um…yeah."

He smiled, "I don't understand the big deal about the accent…"

I took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Then I whispered, "The words drip
from your languid tongue, slow and lazy and free. The sound is soft and simple and
sweet. It reminds me of hot, sticky summer days. The way you speak is pure and
untouched…raw and real…I love your accent."

I watched the rise and fall of his chest quicken as his breathing became a little
rushed. My fingertips had been still brushing his palm and he lifted his hand until
we were palm to palm. His hands were just a little bigger than mine but the coarse
skin felt excellent against my soft skin. Then his fingers moved to clench mine. We
were holding hands.

Then he scooted just a little closer and whispered, "This is okay, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it's okay with me."

He smiled softly and whispered, "So, when we're alone, I can kiss you then?"

I nodded again, "Yeah. When it's just you and me, I don't think it's a big deal."

He bit his lip for a second and asked, "So, like a secret then?"

I smiled, "Yeah. To the outside world, nothing changes. But when it's just you and
me in our world, then we can do what we want."

His arm slid underneath my side and I felt his hand on the small of my back. His
other hand that still clenched mine, slowly brought my hand up and rested it on his
shoulder before he took his hand back and wrapped it around my back.

Now both arms were around me and he pulled me closer. My heart was beating
out of my chest in excitement, anticipation, and happiness. He leaned in and gently
brushed his nose to mine and whispered, "Can I taste your lips again, Edward?"

- 58 -
 My breathing hitched and I smiled, "Any time you want, Jay. You don't have to ask,
you can do whatever you want with me."

He pulled away just a little and had a serious expression on his face and he
whispered, "Don't give me permission to do whatever I want, Edward. I don't want
that kind of power with you. You know me, if you give me an inch, I'm gonna go for a
mile. And I know you're not ready to do all the things I do so, let's just kiss, okay? I
don't wanna push you too fast…I don't wanna mess up our friendship. We're gonna
be best friends forever, right? No matter what?"

I smiled, "Of course, Jay, Forever. And I'm not ready for anything but kissing
anyway. I don't want this to ruin our friendship either."

He smiled now, "Well, good. Now that that's all settled…" he looked at my lips and
whispered, "C'mere pretty boy."

He called me pretty…I liked it.

And so we kissed. For hours. Soft, sweet, lingering kisses. Eventually I grew really
tired and he pulled away from my swollen lips. He whispered, "Go to sleep, Eddie.
I'll hold you for a little bit and I'll make sure we separate before I fall asleep."

I yawned and curled my body against his and snuggled my head onto his chest.
His arms were wrapped tight around me as he softly ran his fingers through my
hair. I yawned again, "Thanks, Jay. Good night."

He whispered, "Night, Eddie. Sleep well."

I finally found a place in this world that I fit…I fit perfectly into his strong, safe
arms.

- 59 -
 Chapter 4

You guys are freakin awesome! I appreciate the reviews and alerts and
favorites so much! I also appreciate the recommendations to your friends.
Let me say right now that I don't respond to reviews as often as I'd like
because I don't get much time to write and I have a lot going on right now
since I'm trying to rewrite my other story, "An Imperfect Love," and possibly
try to get it published so wish me luck!

Song: Save Me by Staind

Jasper's POV

Edward has fallen asleep with my arms wrapped around him, for the second night
in a row. My fingers brush softly through his wild bronze hair and I find myself just
lost in the calm of the action. Lying here in the dark of night, hearing nothing but
his soft breathing and feeling the heat of it against my chest where his head lays…I
feel peaceful. I like it.

And I let my mind wander free for a bit with this beautiful sweet boy in my arms…

The boy made me blueberry pancakes…from scratch. How could I not kiss him,
right? I just wished I wouldn't have been so messed up when I did it. I felt kinda bad
about pinning him to the counter. But he said he liked it…I wasn't expecting that.

I mean, come on…he makes me pancakes for no other reason than because he
wants to do something nice for me. For me. For no reason at all. He's so sweet and
good and I know I don't deserve him.

And I don't care that he's a boy because I think you gotta stick with those who
stick with you. But I know how the real world works and two boys shouldn't feel the
way we do about each other…or at least people think we shouldn't.

But what's wrong with wanting to be with someone who treats you better than
anyone ever has and someone who just gets you and accepts you without wanting
anything in return but just to be close to you?

The world is a pretty fucked up place sometimes.

Then there's Maria. Will it bother him when I'm with her? Will it bother me to see

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him with Tanya? But we have to keep up appearances and boys are supposed to date
girls. God this is confusing.

And then there's a whole nother set of issues…I'm not good for him. I've got so
many issues and I don't wanna drag him down…but I don't wanna stop
this…whatever this is.

And I worry about him. His eyes just go completely vacant sometimes and I know
he's seeing something horrible. It doesn't happen often but…it happens. And I think
that maybe I should tell his dad but I made him a promise that I wouldn't tell
anyone. I can't betray him…he would never betray me.

I wish we were grown already. Cuz then we could just run off together. We could
hide away from the world in a little house off in a mountain somewhere…God, I
sound like a damn girl.

It's this whole place…Edward, the Cullen's, this house, this bed…it's all just so
surreal to me. How the hell did I ever get so lucky to get people like this to
actually…like me? But then I just have to wonder…when will the rug be pulled out
from underneath me? When will my mom wake me up in the middle of the night so
that we can sneak off and run outta town? It's gonna happen. If I called Carlisle
would he come and get me? God, what would Carlisle think of me if he knew I was
kissin his son? He would hate me. And Esme would too.

I don't wanna lose any of them…but…fuck it, I'm gonna kiss Edward as long as he
allows me too cuz no one kisses like he does and I'm thinkin that this is worth the
risk. To have it all will be great…I just hope I don't lose it all.

But there's no point in living without taking risks. And besides, if Edward's only
foolin around with me, I can make sure he stays safe and he doesn't move too fast. I
can help keep him calm and make sure he's okay so that all of his first times are
good.

Man, I'm really getting ahead of myself. Stupid crazy mind always moving way too
fast…gotta slow it down. One day at a time, Jasper. Quit running through life so
damn fast. I've gotta keep myself slowed down cuz I will never ever forgive myself if
I do something stupid and hurt him.

He stirs in his sleep a little bit and I figure I better separate us before I fall asleep.
I slowly pull myself from underneath him and scoot to my side of the bed. His arm
reaches around for a minute trying to find me, so I give him a pillow and he cuddles
himself into it.
- 61 -
 And I laugh.

Edward's pretty damn cute. His soft red lips are still puffy from…well, me. His
hair, well…his hair is always crazy but a good crazy. I really like it. And right now,
he looks happy and peaceful. I really like that too.

Finally my mind slows down enough that I can fall asleep.

The next few months were fantastic. I spent almost every night at Edward's house
and we would lay in bed all night long and kiss and talk and laugh. Nothing changed
with us at school or around people but when we were alone, we weren't afraid to
touch a little more or kiss.

He didn't seem to have any issues with me and Maria and I was okay with him and
Tanya. I knew that it was all an act with her and that he would be kissin me if he
could. I hoped he knew the same, even though we never really talked about it. When
we were alone, we didn't wanna waste time talking about crap that didn't matter.

By the last two weeks of school, Edward had broken up with Tanya. He couldn't
stand her and I told him that just because I dated a girl didn't mean he had to. I was
just used to dating girls.

Maria and I were moving along okay. I liked her okay but it wasn't the same as
with Edward. But she was pretty damaged, like me, so it was kinda easy to be
together since both of us were pretty withdrawn and really only had a physical
connection.

But, this also just made things more difficult for me. I'd spend damn near every
night sharing the most incredible kisses with a beautiful boy who drove me
absolutely crazy…and then I spent my days making out with Maria. And like I said
before, my self control wasn't great. So, I had also spent more time jerking off in the
last few months than I ever had.

It was starting to take a toll on me. I knew I could go further with Maria but I kept
fighting myself on it. But it was really hard. Literally.

So when I was walking home from Edward's house the last Saturday before school
let out, feeling extremely frustrated with my constant erection and no release other
than my own hand, I got a phone call that I knew would be bad to take. But I opened
the phone anyway, "Hey Maria, what's up?"

- 62 -
 "Well, Jay, I've been thinking about what you said to me the first day we spoke.
And I realize that I have never been able to see if it was true or not. My parents are
gone for the whole afternoon and I'm going to be all alone for hours…in my
bedroom…thinking about what you said."

Well fuck my life…

And before my mind could think, my mouth drawled out, "You want some
company, darlin?"

Fuck!

My mind and body were fighting but obviously my dick was more influential than
my brain at the moment.

She purred out, "Si, papi."

I let out a breath and mumbled, "I'll be there in an hour." And then I hung up and
put the phone back in my pocket. Edward would be gone all afternoon at some
picnic thing with his dad's company. But Maria was right here.

And she wanted me. And I wanted Edward but my dick wanted a release. So, now
I'm looking at the beautiful bronze haired angel on my left shoulder and the willing
black haired devil on my right.

I wanted that fuckin angel but maybe a little romp with the devil wouldn't be so
bad. Actually, it would be a good thing really cuz this way I can get the urge outta
my system and then I won't have to worry about trying to move things further with
Edward. Besides, it's not a big deal…Maria means absolutely nothing to me. Edward
means everything to me.

But what would he think? Would he be mad? Hurt? We never said that we were
really "together" like, as a couple and Maria is my girlfriend so it's not like I'm
cheating or anything.

But you have to tell him and surely it's gonna hurt him…fuck. I can't go. I'm gonna
have to break up with Maria. I'll just have to figure something out cuz I can't keep
doing this. And since it feels like Edward is the one I would be being unfaithful
to…it's obvious that he's the one I want.

I walked in my front door to see my mom rolling a joint on the coffee table. She
looked up and smiled, "Hey baby. Wanna smoke this with me?"
- 63 -
 I nodded, "Fuck yeah." I sat down next to her on the couch and she handed the
joint to me. We began smoking and after a minute she sighed, "So, some of my
Xanax and Vicoden are gone and probably an eighth's worth of pot. Did you take it,
Jasper?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, I took it but I figured you owed me."

She exhaled and coughed for a minute, "I owe you shit! You're getting old enough
to start supplying your own habit, Jasper. I'm sick of supporting it. You're birthday
just passed so you're what now, 16?"

I took the joint from her and grumbled, "15."

She smiled, "Now don't go getting all bitchy on me. Well, anyway, you're
practically a man now so I think it's time you got a job this summer and start buying
your own shit."

I laid my head back on the couch and closed my eyes for a minute while I smoked.

"Fine. I need a job anyway cuz I need new clothes and I, sure as fuck, know you
ain't gonna buy me any." I handed her the joint back now and stood up to go take a
shower.

The shower helped to relax me a little…well, the jerking off helped too. I walked to
my room and pulled on a pair of old jeans and a wife beater. I sat down on the
mattress and pulled on my socks and shoes. My mom knocked and stuck her head in
the door, "Here," she said as she threw a piece of paper at me.

I picked it up, "What's this?"

She smiled, "That's my supply guy, James. He already knows who you are so he'll
sell to you. Just don't fuck him over and he'll be fair to you. Now, don't say I never
did anything nice for you, ya little shit."

I grabbed my phone and plugged the number in, "Thanks, mom. Why the fuck are
you being nice today? What's going on?"

She grimaced, "Well, um…your dad is coming into town soon so I thought I'd try
to be extra sweet."

Now I grimaced, "Great. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

- 64 -
 She rolled her eyes and huffed, "You're never here, Jasper! You're always with
that little weird Bobby boy…"

I just shook my head in frustration, "His name is Edward and we've been best
friends for two years now. God you fuckin suck as a mom. Thank God you stopped
with me."

She shrugged, "Whatever. He's weird and you spend too much time with him.
People are gonna start thinking you're a faggot if you're not careful. Oh wait! It's the
daddy, huh? You're fuckin around with the good Doctor! That's why he treats you so
good…"

I glared at her, "You sick fuckin bitch! How dare you talk about any of the
Cullen's! Keep their god damned names out of your fuckin mouth cuz you're not
good enough to even speak their fuckin names!"

She just rolled her eyes, "All I'm sayin, Jasper, is that no man is gonna treat you all
nice and buy you things unless you're giving him good reason too…"

I stood up and just walked past her, "Believe it or not, ma, there are some people
in the world who are just nice fuckin people and don't want anything from me…"

She started laughing, "You are such a naïve stupid boy. You really think people
like you for you? People like you because you're good looking, Jasper! Not because
you're funny or smart cuz Lord knows you're a fuckin asshole just like your dad and
you're about as smart as a box of fuckin rocks! And one day, your looks are gonna
run out, boy, and you're gonna be old and alone and no one will give you the time of
fuckin day…least of all your precious high class Cullen's. Mark my words, Jasper,
you're not good enough for them either and they'll figure that out soon enough and
kick your sorry ass to the curb. This is all you are Jasper and all you're ever gonna
be which is a big fat nothing! Start living in the real world, son, and get your
goddamn head outta the clouds!"

I walked into the kitchen and tried my best to calm down but the crazy bitch just
followed me, yelling the whole way. I grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and took a
big swig.

Please God just make her shut up…please…

She was still screaming when her boyfriend walked in the door. "What the fuck
did you do now, boy?"

- 65 -
 He stood there in his dirty clothes and work boots, wreaking of alcohol. He was
only a couple inches taller than me now cuz I had hit a pretty good growth spurt the
last few months. He outweighed me by probably twenty pounds. I sized him up for a
minute.

I was desperate to hit something and right now he was looking like a pretty good
target.

So when he put his hand on my shoulder…I saw red.

I grabbed his hand with my right hand and his arm with my left. I held his wrist as
I used every bit of force I had to bend his arm the other way and then I slammed it
against the edge of the counter. I could hear his screams and my mother's screams
and I felt her trying to stop me but she was too late. The familiar 'pop' of the bones
in his wrist snapping and his terrified shrieks made me smile.

I broke the fucker's hand. I was really fuckin proud of myself.

I smiled down at him as he lay on the kitchen floor holding his limp arm and
screaming. My mother was tending to him and threatening to call the cops on me if I
didn't leave. I just leaned down to him and calmly said, "I told you that I would break
your hand if you ever touched me again. I'm not a little kid anymore, you stupid
fucker so maybe now you'll keep your goddamn hands to yourself."

Then I grabbed my phone, Ipod, a pack of my mom's cigarettes, and the last of my
hidden Xanax. I left the house and began just sort of wandering. I'm really wishing
Edward were here right now so he could calm me down and make me feel better.

I pull my phone out and text him.

Hey E! You home yet? - J

Less than a minute later I get a text back.

Hi J! Not back yet. S/B home by 6. U ok? - E

Not really. Need u. Call me when u get home. - J

And then my phone is ringing. I smile and flip it open, "Hey Eddie, you didn't have
to call me now."

I hear the anxiousness in his voice, "It's okay, Jay. What's going on?"
- 66 -
 I sat down on the curb and lit a cigarette, "I'm keeping you from your father's
party, Edward. We can just talk when you get home…"

But I know he's not going anywhere…he's probably hid off somewhere by himself
by now…

He laughed, "It's okay…I've kinda been hiding out. I've found a nice little spot in
the woods where no one can see me. I told my mom and dad I was going to mingle
so they're not worried about me right now. So, what's up, Jay? What's wrong?"

I exhale and tell him about the fight with my mom and her boyfriend but leave out
the insults she hurled at him and his family. He sighs when I'm finished, "I'm so
sorry, Jay. You know that none of those things are true. You know we all love you."

Just to be able to vent helped me feel better so I asked smugly into the phone, "Do
you love me?"

He laughed quietly, "Yes. You know I do."

I smiled now, "Thanks, Eddie. You know I do too, right?"

He says softly, "Yeah, I know."

And then, all of the bad shit that happened today just kinda melted away. Edward
and I talked on the phone for about an hour. We didn't talk about anything big or
important but it was just a fun, light conversation that left me feeling much better
when we hung up.

I start walking back to my house, figuring that my mom and her boyfriend are
probably at the hospital getting his hand tended to so I should be alone. Luckily, I'm
right and they're gone when I get back.

I go to my room and lay down listening to music and waiting for Edward to get
home. I hit my bong a few times to keep myself calmed down while I wait for him. A
little while later I hear a banging on the front door. Reluctantly I pull myself up and
to the living room.

When I open the door, there is one very pissed off Hispanic chick standing there.
She starts cursing at me in Spanish and I just let her. Finally she stops and huffs, "I
can't believe you have the nerve to stand me up! What's wrong with you? You don't
like girls or something?"

- 67 -
 Then I begin to go into a slight panic because I have an appearance to keep up
and I realize that passing up an opportunity with Maria could have great
consequences if she runs her mouth about it.

"Sorry, Maria. I got into a fight and broke my mom's boyfriend's hand. It's just
been a fucked up day."

Her arms are folded across her chest and she sighs, "Oh…well, there's no one
here with you now. Your mom's car isn't here so you must be alone…"

She trails off and I groan internally, "No, but they'll be back any time…"

Now she cuts me off as she walks into the house and shuts the door behind her,
"That's okay. I don't need much time. Where's your room?"

Shit.

I lead her to my room and shut the door behind me. I make one last ditch effort, "I
don't have any condoms, Maria and I won't fuck without one."

She smiles as she pulls one from her back jeans pocket and throws it at me,
"C'mon now Jasper. You talk a big fucking game so show me that you're not all talk
or I will make your life next year in school a living hell."

I feel like my body is being turned inside out. I'm scared and nervous and I feel
sick. I don't want this but how can I fight it now? I'm still standing there as her
hands begin undoing my jeans. Her hand reaches inside my boxer briefs and begins
stroking my now awakening cock.

I hate Maria right now but I can't stop her. She purrs, "Oh Jazzy, you weren't lying
baby."

I just close my eyes and try to block out the feel of her hand and the sound of her
voice. I resolve that this is gonna happen so I just let my body take over while my
mind goes somewhere different. My thoughts are on Edward. His lips…his
fingers…his hair and his eyes but my body is fuckin the hell out of Maria against a
wall in my bedroom. Her screams and moans were a pretty good indication that I
was living up to my reputation.

I give it everything I've got so that I can get it over quick because I'm really fuckin
scared that I'm not gonna cum and I'm gonna go soft soon. Finally, it's over. I'm
panting and my legs are killing me as I let her down to the floor. I turn to pull the
- 68 -
condom off and throw it in the trash can when my door opens.

God must really hate me.

Edward's standing there with wide eyes and he stammers, "Shit! Sorry!" And then
he pulls the door shut.

I feel dirty and kinda like I'm gonna get sick. I turn to Maria, who is pulling her
shirt on, and I'm pissed, "So, Maria, you found out that I've got a big dick, now
you're gonna find out that I'm an asshole. I don't wanna see you anymore. I'm done."

Boy she's really pissed now. I'm fluent in Spanish and I don't know what the hell
she's calling me but I figure it doesn't really matter cuz whatever she's calling me,
I'm sure she's right. I'm also pretty sure she put some evil voodoo hex on me.

I'm pretty much just ignoring her as I pull my jeans up and throw on my wife
beater. Then I'm rushing her through the door as I take off running towards
Edward's house.

I see him walking slowly alongside the woods a little more than half way to his
house.

He hears me coming and turns. He stops and waits for me. Once I reach him, I
need a minute to pant because I had used way too much energy in the last hour for
this shit.

Finally, I drag in a deep breath and look up at him. But before I can say anything
he says, "I'm really sorry, Jay. I shouldn't have just came barging in like that. It's
just…well, I kept calling and I didn't get an answer so I got worried. And then I
walked over and your mom's car wasn't there and the front door was open so I
thought you might be sleeping…"

I put my hands on his shoulders, "Calm down, Edward. Breathe, man."

He takes a deep breath and whispers, "I'm sorry."

I drop my hands and sigh, "Edward, what are you sorry about? I'm the one who
should be apologizing. I'm sorry you saw that. I didn't even really wanna do it but…I
just…" and then I groaned in frustration because I don't even know how to explain it
to him.

Then his hand is on my shoulder, "It's okay, Jay. You know you can tell me
- 69 -
anything. I think I understand why you did it and I'm not mad or anything, if that's
what you think. I'm really more embarrassed than anything."

He's not mad…not even a little? If it were him, I would be mad…

"You're not mad at me?" I was a little bummed.

He smiled, "No, of course not. Maria is your girlfriend and I expect that you're
probably going to…um…do stuff with her. I understand that. I just wish I wouldn't
have seen it."

I wanted him to be mad at me and the fact that he wasn't, kind of hurt. Maybe my
mom was right.

"Oh. Okay. Do you still want me to stay the night then?" I was a little confused and
feeling kinda stupid because I think I over thought this thing with Edward because
he obviously didn't have any feelings invested into it. And then the rationalization
set in that if this thing continued with us, I was gonna get very hurt. But I knew I
wouldn't stop cuz obviously I'm glutton for punishment.

He nodded and started walking again, "Of course, Jay. Come on."

We walked to his house in relative silence. The tension seemed a little thick to me
but he said he wasn't mad and he hadn't acted mad. We went in the house and made
our way up to his room.

The minute the door was shut, I was being pressed against it with Edward's lips to
mine, hungry and predatory as he pressed himself against me. My hands were on his
arms and I gently pushed him away as I caught my breath, "What are you doing,
Edward?"

He was panting and he huffed, "That's what you want, isn't it? If that's what you
want, Jay, I'll give it to you. I just…I'm not ready for this thing between us to be over
yet. I know you're going to be with other people and I accept that. But when we're
alone together, you're mine." Then his eyes got wide and he slapped his hand over
his mouth.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

I like this side of Edward…

"Eddie, it's okay. I feel the same way."

- 70 -
 He removed his hand and whispered, "You do?"

I nodded, "Yeah, but I think I should tell you everything that happened today."

We went over and laid down long ways across the bed. And I told him everything.
Every word that was spoken between Maria and me and how it ended up with the
unfortunate scene he had seen.

When I was done, he was leaning on his elbow facing me. He put his hand on top
of mine that sat on the bed and softly said, "I'm really sorry that happened, Jay.
What a bitch."

I nodded, "Yeah, well I deserved it. I talk shit all the time, it was only a matter of
time 'til someone called me on it."

He laid back down and put his hands behind his head, "Jasper, it doesn't matter
what you say…no one has the right to make threats and push you into doing
something you don't want to do. I know that it may hurt your reputation but you do
have a choice. You can say no."

I took a deep breath and mimicked his position, "I know. Edward? Do you want me
to stop…ya know…dating people?"

Because I will if you just ask me too…please ask me to…

He sighed, "Of course not, Jasper. I'm okay with it. I just don't want to hear all the
details and I definitely don't ever want to see it again. I mean, I should probably
keep trying to date girls too. Maybe there's still hope for me. I've only kissed a few
girls, I shouldn't toss in the towel yet, I guess."

I just nodded, "Um…yeah I guess you should keep trying."

No you shouldn't.

He got up, walked to his door and locked it. I sat up on my elbows as he walked
over. I raised an eyebrow curiously at him and he really surprised me.

He smiled shyly as a faint blush came across his cheeks and he whispered, "I'm
not ready to go that far but…I would like a little…more."

I was caught a little off guard, "Um…what do you want, Edward?"

- 71 -
 He crawled on the bed and up my legs until he was straddling me. He kept his
weight off of me but I was fearful now that the instant erection I got would brush
against him. His striking green eyes gazed down at me.

Our eyes stayed locked but neither of us spoke. I was still up on my elbows as his
hands went to the hem of my shirt. His thumbs tentatively pushed the fabric up and
he started brushing his soft fingertips across the creases and lines of my stomach.

My mouth hung open as my breaths became shallow. My skin was on fire and my
body felt something it had never felt. No one's touch had ever felt like his. Edward
and I had only kissed and always kept our bodies apart so this was definitely new. I
kept dragging in ragged breaths and staring hungrily at him as his satin fingertips
kept exploring my chest and pushing my shirt up further.

Soft hands glided over every inch of my chest, tracing each scar softly and
appreciating each muscle. His finger and thumb roll gently over my nipple and pinch
wearily. My head lulls back and a groan rolls out from deep in my throat.

This obviously gives Edward a boost of confidence because I feel him finally let his
weight down and now he is sitting on me. And he's as hard as I am.

My elbows come off the bed and I'm gripping his hips carefully as my back arches
from the contact. And I moan, "Mmm…Edward."

My hands begin pushing his shirt up. Sliding slowly over the contours of his body,
he raises his arms and I pull it off and drop it to the floor. Now I'm sitting up with
Edward's knees on either sides of me while he straddles my lap.

We're both breathing heavily and a moment later, his hands are pushing my shirt
up. So I lift my arms as he pulls it off and drops it on his. His soft, strong hands slide
down my arms slowly as my arms wrap around his back and pull him close enough
that our stomachs are now touching. We both groan from the small contact.

Now I can feel his stomach moving in and out with each ragged breath…much like
mine. His hands slide up my arm, around my neck, and into my hair pulling me
gently to him. Our eyes close and our lips meet.

My hands roam his back and shoulders and hips. His lips are plump and taste so
good that I can't resist sucking them softly between my lips. Now he moans softly
and then his tongue is crashing into mine. We kiss deeply but it doesn't get out of
hand…we just enjoy it.

- 72 -
 We kiss like that for awhile; our stomachs together, our lower bodies pressed
against each other, long, deep, slow, wet kisses and my body is on fire. And my mind
is right here with him…I don't want to miss any moment of this so I keep my mind
focused on the feel of his body and lips…his hair between my fingers…the soft sighs
of contentment as he uses his lips and tongue to make me feel like a human again
and not like just some dirty thing that you use once and throw out the next day.

He was kissing me all better. And I did feel all better. Edward could save me from
anything with just the simple touch of his fingers brushing along my skin. I wasn't
looking to get things over and done quick with Edward, like how I did with girls so I
could take my time and just enjoy and bask in the loving attention he always gave
me…it was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

Then his palms are on my chest and he's slowly pushing me back onto the bed as
he lays down on top of me, never breaking our kiss. He's starting to rub against me
and I feel like I could cum any second. But I don't wanna screw things up with him
and I'm worried about moving too fast. So I quickly roll over and pin him underneath
me. He lets out a surprised gasp and then I start tickling him.

His lips break from mine as he starts laughing. His hands go to his stomach as he
giggles hysterically and then he's trying to tickle me back but I'm not as ticklish as
he is so I am most definitely winning this little game.

After a few minutes, he yells out, "You win! Oh God please stop!"

I cease the tickling and we're both still laughing. I reach up and wipe the tears
from his eyes as his laughter slowly dies down.

And then I can't resist the urge to lie my head down on his chest, over his heart,
just like he lays with me almost every night. At first his heart is beating wildly in his
chest but then his soft fingers start running through my hair, separating the curls
with their tender touch.

His heart slows down and the soft beat is soothing to me so I close my eyes and
take in a deep breath. He continues playing with my hair and before I realize it, I've
fallen into a very peaceful slumber.

I don't know how long I slept on him like that but I was awaken by his gentle
shaking and soft whispers, "Wake up, Jay. My parents just got home."

I lift my sleepy eyes and am thankful that I didn't drool on him. He smiles down at
me and whispers, "You feeling better, Jay?"
- 73 -
 I nod and yawn, "Thanks, Eddie. I needed that."

He smiles and leans down placing one more soft kiss to my lips and whispers,
"Anytime, Jasper."

We disentangle ourselves, sit up and put our shirts back on. Then he gets up and
unlocks his door and looks over at me, "Hey, let's go eat and play Halo."

I nod and stand, "Sounds like a plan to me."

And that's what we do. And now our nights are filled with a little more exploration
of each other's bodies and more passionate kisses.

When school finally ends, I get a job working for an old farmer on the outskirts of
town. The job is easy mentally but pretty tough physically. I spend about six hours a
day bailing hay in the hot sun. But he pays cash and the pay is pretty good. His wife
always makes lunch and he lets me ride the horses and play with the animals on my
breaks.

I'm surprised when Edward says he wants to work with me. He doesn't need the
money since he gets an allowance and I can't understand why he'd want to do such
hard physical labor when he doesn't have to.

He just says that it will help him work out his body and keep him from being
lonely while I'm at work. I'm really happy when he does start working with me. It
makes the day go by much easier and I get to kind of show off my farmhand
knowledge. He seems to be really interested in everything I know about life on a
farm and I begin more little fantasies of me and him together on our own farm one
day. Riding horses together and working in the fields together…spending every
night together in our bed….and waking up still in each other's arms…

Then I remind myself to slow down my crazy mind and just focus on the here and
now. My brain has a habit of running way too fast for it's own good.

Edward's birthday comes and I actually have money now so I buy him a CD that I
know he's been wanting and I take him out to a movie. I know it's not like a date or
anything but I still buy him some Skittles and he buys me some M&M's.

The movie theater is dark and pretty empty and for the first time in my life, I
actually want to make out…but I know it's impossible. So I settle for lying my hand
palm up in between us and I'm happy when his hand slides slowly into mine and we
grasp fingers and try to keep our hands hidden in-between us.
- 74 -
 And for all the experience that I've got…it's these little moments with Edward that
make my heart beat faster…

- 75 -
 Chapter 5

Playlist: Forever and Ever Amen by Randy Travis, Look at Us by Vince Gill,
Remember When by Alan Jackson, I'd Love To Lay You Down and Slow Hand
by Conway Twitty, Boots On by Randy Hauser, and If Ever I Could Love by
Keith Urban

It's a long one, I know, but there's a reason behind it. Hope you guys enjoy
this chapter.

Edward's POV

When I opened the door to Jasper's bedroom, my heart felt like it stopped and my
chest ached. I quickly mumbled something before bolting out the door. I was trying
so hard to keep the tears from coming. I couldn't be upset about this…I couldn't cry
about this because he wasn't mine.

I guess in my mind, I knew that he would do stuff with his girlfriend but I couldn't
help but feel almost…betrayed. I couldn't get the image out of my head.

Maria standing behind him, pulling up her panties and Jasper standing there with
his jeans around his ankles and a used condom in his hand. It felt like I couldn't
breathe…

I didn't think he even really liked her that much.

Then other thoughts started running through my mind…

Does this mean he won't want me anymore? But it's not like we're doing anything
but kissing so really what kind of pleasure could he be getting with me? Why did he
want to lay around every night kissing me when he could be having sex with sluts
like Maria? Slut. Whore. Skank.

I was angry and hurt but I knew I shouldn't be. This thing between me and Jasper
meant nothing…it was just a…what? A release? No, it can't be a release because
neither of us is getting any kind of sexual release from it. Then what the hell are we
doing?

All these stupid feelings of hurt and anger have to be quickly buried. Jasper is
obviously doing me a favor by kissing me every night and treating me like I mean

- 76 -
something to him…if I show him that I'm hurt or mad, will he end it? It's just…when
we're together alone, it seems like more than just…fooling around.

Will I lose my best friend because he'll think I'm possessive and reading too much
into something that isn't really there?

I am so screwed. I had feelings beyond normal friend feelings for him before we
even started this little thing between us. And now…ugh. What the hell am I doing?

Don't be stupid, Edward. This is Jasper Whitlock. He could have anyone he

wanted…obviously, so why on earth would he ever want you?

God, why do I want him? Why him? Why not some nice girl? Why can't you make
me want a girl like every other guy? I'm still a freak. He was right…I can change my
image and make people think I'm normal, but I'll never be normal.

Then my thoughts began to drift on the darker side…

Jasper…naked…naked Jasper…I've never really seen another naked guy before. I

mean, in gym class it's not like we take the time to check each other out in the
locker room. So besides myself, he's the only one I had ever seen.

My eyes trailed up his muscular calves…must be so nice from all the basketball he
plays. Then his long, powerful thighs…then I saw "it."

Wow. It wasn't hard anymore but even soft…it was very impressive.

I wonder whose got a bigger…

And now I'm blushing. Oh God I am so fucked. I'm thinking about Jasper's manly
parts…stop thinking about it! Stop! Don't think about his body anymore! That's an
order!

Who the hell am I kidding? He's got a really nice body and I really want to touch
it.

And now he's running up to me.

Play it cool…don't scare him off…

We get through our conversation and I think I convinced him that I was okay with
everything, even if I was wrenching on the inside.
- 77 -
 But the second my bedroom door closed…he was mine again.

I couldn't stop myself…I would've done anything he asked me too if I knew that he
would still want me. And when he pushed me away, even though it was gently, I was
hurt again so I practically pleaded with him to still want me. And before I could stop
it, I called him 'mine.' I could've died right then from embarrassment.

But then he grinned and said he felt the same way. And he told me what happened
between him and Maria.

It was then that I realized something about my best friend…he knew he was
beautiful on the outside but he had no clue how beautiful he was on the inside.
Jasper was strong and tough and powerful…but he was also hurt and insecure and
didn't feel like he could stand up to girls when it came to his body. He felt like his
body was all he had to offer…

Jasper had a great body but he was also a great person. He's the only person to
make me feel truly accepted and normal and special. He always treats my parents
with the utmost respect…he never cursed or did pills or anything around them.

But outside of this house and to other people, Jasper was different. He was quick
to anger, sometimes very mean, defensive, and generally a little crazy. It worried me
because I knew how easily he could lose control one day and do something that
couldn't be undone…something that might ruin the rest of his life. I was going to
have to do a better job at helping my best friend because I think he really needed
someone to look out for him.

When he asked me if I wanted him to stop dating people I wanted to scream,

"Fuck yes! I want you to date me!" But I'm not a stupid boy…I know that even if by
some miracle of God that he feels the same way I do about him, we could never
show it publicly.

And I really doubt that he would want to. Jasper was a natural born flirt and he
loved the attention of having girls want him. That's something I can't compete with.

So I just rattled off something about trying to date girls. I should keep trying I
guess. Maybe I just need a different type of girl than the ones I've been trying…

Then I realized that we were alone in my bedroom and we were wasting precious
time…so I made a move…

I hadn't gotten to admire his upper body before I pulled the door shut so I wanted
- 78 -
to do it now.

I was bold because I knew what I wanted and when we were alone, I wasn't afraid
of it.

His hard chest felt wonderful underneath my fingertips. And when I made his
head hang back and him groan again, I couldn't help it…I had to know if I affected
him the way he affects me.

So I let my weight down so that I was sitting directly on top of him. He was hard
too so that gave me my answer. He wanted me.

And then our shirts were off and the bare hot flesh of our stomachs brushed
together as he willingly pulls me closer. His heavy breathing and the quivering
sensation coursing through my body were intoxicating.

I needed to taste his honey lips. I trailed my fingertips up the smooth skin of his
biceps, around his neck, and into their favorite place, soft golden curls. My fingers
are home and as I pull his lips to mine, they are home too.

Jasper is mine. At least for the moment and I want more of him. So I push him
back against the bed and his hardness pushed against mine is making my body move
on its own to create the friction it so desperately desires.

My legs are on either side of him, my elbows on the mattress by his ears, my
fingers in his hair as my hips moving gently into his. I can feel him moving
underneath me and the intensity of it coupled with the feel of our searing skin
sliding against each other easily from the light sheen of sweat…I was so close. And I
wanted it but I was also a little scared about what I was doing…

But then he started tickling me. Even though I was a little frustrated, I thought it
was kind of sweet that he was trying to go so slow with me. That must mean that he
cares for me, right? I mean, he doesn't take his time with any girl he dates.

He falls asleep on my stomach and I love the feel of his warm breath washing
across my chest. I brush my fingers through his silky curls and just reminisce about
the feel of his skin against mine…

Jasper had awakened every teenage hormone in my body these last few months
but also a few other emotions I wasn't sure how to quite deal with yet. I wanted
more…

- 79 -
 School went by fast and Jasper got a job baling hay at a farm outside of town. He
seemed to love it so I thought I'd try to get a job with him. And I got bored while he
was working all day.

It was great…well, it sucked. It was really hard work. My body ached and my skin
always felt like it was on fire from the sun. But I did get to see a sweaty shirtless
Jasper everyday so the trade off felt fair to me.

And this job was really good for him. He loved the old man and woman we worked
for. They were an older couple, I'd guess mid-seventies. Jasper said that the woman,
Charlotte, reminded him of his grandma. And the man, Peter, treated Jasper kind of
like a kindred spirit.

They could spend hours talking about old country music or horses or even history.
Peter and Charlotte treated us both very well but I think Jasper reminded them of
their son, Nathan, who was killed during Desert Storm. And Jasper really liked being
on that farm with them. He would stay late or come early sometimes and just help
out with repairs or in the garden…he took care of the animals and he did all of this
just because he thought it was the right thing to do, not because he wanted to be
paid for it.

I was really glad my dad helped us get this job. I think these people were really
good influences for Jasper. Peter was a patient of my father's. He had a major heart
attack five years ago and his wife Charlotte was battling cancer and had her good
days and bad days.

Jasper was kind of in awe of their relationship. I'd watch him as he'd watch them
interact and he would just get this small sweet grin on his face.

I think maybe Jasper is an old fashioned romantic…

But the whole situation was good for him and he was also really happy to have his
own money. He bought me a CD and took me to a movie for my birthday…and he
bought me Skittles. And as soon as the lights went out, I wanted to kiss him. But I
knew I couldn't. I was surprised when he laid his palm face up between us.

I watched as he sent me a sideways glance and when I slid my fingers into his, he
smiled and leaned back in the chair, finally relaxing. I did too.

So, he wants to hold my hand…it has to mean something, right? He must like me
the way I like him…

- 80 -
 We were a few weeks into the summer now and Jasper hadn't talked to any girls
all summer…I figured it was probably because he didn't have a lot of free time
but…maybe it was because of me.

Today was a blistering day in the heat as we worked and it wasn't long before we
were both shirtless. I watched the beads of sweat roll down his lean, strong back as
we continued working. My hair was sticky with sweat and I pulled my baseball cap
down low to keep the sun from my eyes.

Peter came strolling out with an old black cowboy hat. He handed it to Jasper with
a smile on his face, "Here, son. This was Nathan's old hat. It'll keep the sun out of
your eyes."

Jasper shook his head, "No way, Peter. I can't take that…"

Peter grabbed his hand and put the hat in it, "I have no use for it. I want you to
have it. Please take it."

Jasper hesitantly took the hat and put it on his head. I immediately sucked in a
quick breath at the sight of a hot, sweaty, shirtless, dirty, cowboy hat wearing
Jasper. I quickly turned and grabbed my water bottle taking a big drink to try and
cool myself off.

Peter smiled and said with a wink, "That hat'll drive the girls wild, son."

The boys too…

Jasper just smiled and told him how much he appreciated it and that he would
take good care of it. Peter sat down on one of the bales of hay and drew out his old
handkerchief as he wiped the sweat from his brow.

"I need some advice from you young fella's…"

He went on to tell us that his 50th wedding anniversary was coming up and he
didn't know what to do. Jasper suggested a special date with dinner and dancing like
they used to do when they were first married.

But Charlotte couldn't travel too far from the house in her condition so then Jasper
offered to play the guitar and sing some country love songs for them and they could
dance right there on the front porch. I offered to make them dinner. Peter was really
floored by our suggestion and he accepted with much gratitude.

- 81 -
 Jasper and I were in my room one night and I watched him sitting on my bed with
his guitar in his lap. He had been learning some new songs to play for them. He
spent a lot of time practicing, I could tell that it meant a lot to him that it be special
for Peter and Charlotte. My heart fluttered a bit at the sentiment. Jasper could be
really very sweet when he wanted to be.

He looked up and caught me staring at him from where I sat on my piano bench.
He smiled and blushed just a trace. I smiled at that…Jasper only ever blushed
around me, no girl I had ever seen him with had made him blush.

"What are you working on, Jay?"

I watched his dimpled grin form as he said, "It's called 'Forever and Ever Amen.'
It's one of Charlotte's favorite songs. Will you listen to it and tell me if it sounds
alright?"

I nodded. I loved watching him play his guitar and he had a beautiful voice. I had
heard him sing and play a lot but never a love song so I was pretty curious…

When Jasper got lost in his music…he was amazing. His eyes would close and his
shoulders would sway…he looked so natural and beautiful. His golden curls bounced
as he rocked gently to the music. I listened as he played the pretty love song and I
couldn't help but notice that he would look up at me every now and then with a faint
blush on his cheeks and a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

You may think that I'm talking foolish

You've heard that I'm wild and I'm free

You may wonder how I can promise you now

This love that I feel for you always will be

But you're not just time that I'm killing

I'm no longer one of those guys

As sure as I live, this love that I give

Is gonna be yours until the day that I die

Oh baby I'm gonna love you forever

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 Forever and ever amen

As long as old men sit & talk about the weather

As long as old women sit & talk about old men

If you wonder how long I'll be faithful

I'll be happy to tell you again

I'm gonna love you forever and ever

Forever and ever amen

He finished the song up and I was completely captivated by him. I never really
listened to country music but I had a feeling that was going to change after today.

He looked up and smiled, "What do ya think?"

I smiled a crooked grin and looked away for a moment before getting the nerve up
to look in his baby blue eyes, "Charlotte's going to love it. It was perfect, Jasper. I
think it's really nice of you to do this for them."

He smiled, "Yeah, well they're really nice people. I like Peter a lot…he kinda
reminds me of what I think I'll be like at his age. He had a real rough childhood…his
dad was an alcoholic and he has eight brothers and sisters. He's from Texas too and
he grew up dirt poor. His dad used to beat all of them including his mother. He said
he was so afraid when he fell in love with Charlotte because he thought that he
could end up being a mean son of a bitch like his dad. And Charlotte came from a
high class family. He didn't think he'd ever have a shot with someone as good as her.
He was just a old, dirt poor, country boy…like me. So he spent five years pining for
her but keeping a safe distance because he was afraid of what could possibly
happen."

I watched as his eyes sparkled as he told the story. He was completely caught up
in it. He really was an old romantic.

"So, Charlotte was fixin' to marry another man and it scared the hell outta him
that he was gonna lose her forever. So he snuck into her room the night before the
wedding and confessed his love to her. She apparently had felt the same way all
those years but had been too afraid to say anything. She knew her daddy was gonna
be mad as hell so they snuck off that night together. They didn't have a dime to their
- 83 -
name when they started their life together and they struggled in the beginning but it
just made their bond stronger. Eventually, Peter's farm took off and they lived good
lives. And never in 50 years has he ever hit or even raised his voice to Charlotte or
his son. He changed. If he can do it, I can do it too. I don't have to be like my dad…I
could be a good man if I really worked at it."

Jasper was always the most beautiful boy I had ever seen but he was absolutely
radiant now. And the shine radiated from the inside out. I hoped Peter knew the
profound effect he had on him.

"You are a good man, Jay. You've always been good to me. The real you is pretty
damn amazing, Jasper."

He blushed slightly again and said, "Thanks, Eddie."

Then I wondered, "How'd you find out all these things about Peter?"

Just then my mom knocked and walked in my room, "Hey boys. Your dad and I are
going into Seattle for dinner and a movie. Would you like to join us?"

Dinner and a movie with my mom and dad or an empty house with Jasper?

"No, I think we'll just stay here. You and dad need a night alone." And so do me
and Jasper…

He shot me a knowing look and a sly smile as she excused herself to leave.

While my parents were getting ready to leave I continued my conversation with

him, "So…you never answered my question."

He laid his guitar on the ground and then laid down on his side with his head
propped up from his elbow on the mattress. "Last weekend when you went to your
grandma's house on Sunday afternoon, Peter and me went fishing. He's got a lake
tucked way back on his property. It's surrounded by woods. It's really nice. Anyway,
we went fishing and talked a lot. He's a cool old man."

Then he looked down at the blanket as he nervously plucked the threads, "Hey, I
was wondering if you think your mom and dad would let you go camping? Peter said
we could use the lake. I was thinking that maybe after we finish helping him with his
date…that maybe we could go camping at the lake overnight. If you want."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face at the thought of lying
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underneath the moonlight with him all night. "Yeah, I'm sure they would. Um…I've
never been camping though."

He smiled and looked at me now, "I'll take care of everything. It'll be fun."

We heard the garage door close as my parents pulled down the driveway. The
tension between us had been thick all week and I stood up as he walked over to the
doorknob to lock it.

He turned and walked towards me. A moment later we met in the middle of the
room and made no hesitation as my hands went to his soft golden curls and his
strong fingers pushed the back of my shirt up stroking the flesh there, pulling me
closer.

Our lips crashed into one another and we both deepened the kiss instantly. We
kissed passionately and frantically as shirts went flying and we were tumbling on my
bed with him landing on top of me but never breaking the kiss. Our hands explored
the valleys and contours of each other's back and chest…arms and stomach.

He was keeping his weight off of me and I had a pretty good idea why. But I was
having none of that as my hands trailed down his muscular shoulders and back until
they pushed their way down to the back of his jeans. My fingers squeezed his jeans
clad ass and pulled him down into me.

He groaned deeply as his lips fell to my neck and he began nipping and sucking on
the taut skin there. My hands kneaded the material of his jeans and continued
encouraging him to move against me. I needed more and from the way I felt him
throbbing against me…he did too. He whispered in my ear, "Wrap your legs around
me, Edward." His drawl was thick…always thicker the more worked up he got.

I moaned just from his words. And I quickly did as he asked and wrapped my legs
tightly around his waist and bucked into him, desperate for friction. The need for his
body on mine made me bold.

He laughed softly in my ear, "Whoa…slow down tiger. If you wanna do this, then
we're gonna do it my way…"

I needed some sort of release. Being with him every night was driving me slowly
insane. I had tried to do it a few times myself but…I just couldn't. My hands were
just…wrong. So, I would do whatever he asked.

I nodded and whispered through ragged breaths, "Okay…just please, Jay, don't
- 85 -
stop…please."

He trailed his finger down my jaw and nipped it as he whispered, "I won't stop
unless you tell me too…are you absolutely sure you wanna do this?"

I nodded again and whispered "please"…I wasn't even sure what I was begging for
but I just knew I needed him.

He smiled and kissed me a sweet, soft kiss before leaning over to my nightstand
and grabbing his Ipod and putting on the dock. He flipped through to a Playlist then
he crawled back to me and leaned down to my neck.

His hot breath was giving me goose bumps and he whispered, "We've got hours
before your parents get back home, Edward…let's not rush this."

I moaned softly at his sexy words and the feel of his hot tongue sliding over the
fragile skin of my neck. Slow was good…it just made the anticipation all the greater.

His legs went between mine as he nudged them apart with his knees. I was
already sucking in shaky breaths from this awkward but intensely erotic position. He
let his weight down on me as his soft lips and wet tongue ravaged my neck. It was
then that I heard the song playing, Only You Can Love Me This Way…I knew this
song because I had heard him listening to it a few times. My hands were rubbing
along his smooth back and getting lost in slow country music and soft, lingering
kisses.

His hips began moving against mine in a firm but gentle rhythm to the music. His
lips kissed up my jaw and back home again to my waiting lips. My legs wrapped
around his waist again and the feel of his hardness against mine, even in jeans, was
beyond incredible.

My heart fluttered and my body trembled with the sensation of him grinding
against me as his honey lips kissed me. He was moving his strong hips in slow
circles and once I was able to think somewhat clearly, I started moving my hips
underneath him…mimicking the slow soft circles he made and meeting his every
movement.

We did this for what seemed like hours…slow, wet kisses…soft, slow
movements…a very leisurely climb to the brink of ecstasy. I knew that the slow
climb was going to be worth the reward at the end.

Many sweet and sexy country love songs had played and I couldn't help but
- 86 -
wonder if he had made this Playlist for…us.

My whole body was starting to feel little shots of electricity through it as the feel
of him throbbing against me brought me closer to the edge.

He pulled away from my lips with a moan and his hooded blue eyes found mine.
We were both sweating lightly from the tortuous slow exertion of our bodies. He was
panting and his arms that held him up began to tremble.

God he's beautiful…

He moaned again but his eyes never left mine. He whispered,

"God…Edward…never knew…this could feel…so good…"

My body trembled beneath his as I whispered back in equally short breaths,

"Me…neither…God Jasper…so…so good…so close…don't stop…"

He moaned again as his eyes closed and he whispered, "Fuck…"

Then his head fell to my shoulder and his hands went to my hair. He took my
earlobe in between his teeth and groaned, "Do you know how hard this is for me to
go slow?'

My hands were pulling his lower back even closer to me as I panted, "Then go
fast…"

He lifted his head to look me in the eyes again. His lust filled baby blues were
penetrating mine as he whispered, "No…I'm going slow with you…I'm gonna do this
right…"

And the fact that he was doing all of this slow, sweet torture for me…I couldn't
stop my lips from moaning, "You're fucking perfect, Jasper."

I wanted to be embarrassed but I was lost in incoherency at the intense tingling

throughout my body.

My eyes closed from the intensity I felt and soon his plump honey lips were on
mine again and he whispered, "I feel the same way about you, Edward. You're fuckin
perfect."

Our lips were against each other and our mouths were parted as we just breathed
each other in while our bodies finally got their reward for such patience.
- 87 -
 He grunted and moaned against my lips as he twitched against me and the look on
his face when he came…pushed me quickly over the edge with him.

The intensity was fierce as I shook underneath him and moaned loudly against his
shoulder. My toes felt like they were permanently curled as we slowly came down.

We stayed like that for awhile and caught our breath as we held on too one
another in a lazy comfortable grip. We were both still reeling from the experience
we just had together.

Finally Jasper laughed softly in my ear and whispered, "Why is it you're so good at
everything, Edward? I've never felt anything like that before and I've done lots more
than what we just did…"

I laughed now, giddy with happiness and satisfaction, "Must be because I'm
Edward fuckin Cullen."

We both laughed and cuddled for awhile and I felt I had to ask, "Hey Jay? I have to
ask about the song Playlist…"

He leaned up on his elbow to look down at me and smiled, "You noticed that,
huh?"

I smiled, "Yeah…I noticed. Did you…ya know…make the Playlist for…this?"

His cheeks turned scarlet and his grin was wide, "I did make it for…when I was
with you. Is that weird?"

I laughed softly and shook my head, "No, not at all. It's kind of…um…sweet
actually."

Now I blushed and he laughed again and nuzzled my ear. He whispered, "Yeah?
Well, good…I'm trying."

Then he pulled up and smiled, "Um…we should probably go get cleaned up before
your parents get here."

I nodded. My sticky pants were becoming quickly uncomfortable. "Why don't you
take the bedroom shower and I'll take the hallway one."

He nodded and we kissed one last time before separating.

- 88 -
 The next week went by quickly and even though he stayed with me every
night…we hadn't had another repeat performance of our most intimate night yet. We
still spent every night just kissing.

But, today was the big day. Peter and Charlotte's 50th anniversary and my and
Jasper's camping trip. He took care of everything for the trip, packing everything in
a large duffle bag. My mom sent a dessert for them and drove us to their house so
the groceries I bought for the meal would stay good. Peter had said that Charlotte's
favorite food was chicken parmesan so my mom gave me a recipe and I just prayed
to God that I didn't screw it up.

She dropped me and Jasper off with all of our supplies. Charlotte was taking a nap
when we got there so we could begin getting ready. I went to the kitchen and began
the meal as Jasper and Peter hung up white twinkly lights on the front porch.

Halfway through my preparation, Jasper strolled into the kitchen with a bouquet
of wildflowers. I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, "I thought they'd make the
table look prettier."

I laughed as he grabbed a vase and set the table for two. Once dinner was done
and on the table, Jasper lit the candles and we slipped out to the front porch to eat
while Peter went and brought Charlotte into the dining room for they're candlelit
dinner.

Jasper and I sat side by side on the front porch steps and ate. He sighed, "You're a
great cook. Maybe you can teach me sometime."

I nodded. We made easy conversation and finished eating before taking the dishes
into the kitchen and sneaking back to the front porch to wait for them.

Eventually, Peter led Charlotte out to the front porch. She had already been
crying and she shed a few more tears at the front porch, filled with twinkling lights
and candles. Jasper sat on the porch swing with his cowboy hat and guitar and I sat
on one of the stone ledges next to Jasper.

Peter was beaming at how happy his wife was. She was truly touched and it was
pretty beautiful to see. Jasper began playing some Forever and Ever Amen and
Charlotte laughed. Her and Peter danced around as best they could but the wide
smiles of their faces proved that we had done good. Then Jasper started another
song that I didn't recognize but his eyes never left mine as he sang it and my heart
just melted…

- 89 -
 Look at us

After all these years together

Look at us

After all that we've been through

Look at us

Still leaning on each other

If you want to see

How true love should be

then just look at us

Then he played Remember When and then some of Peter's favorites, I'd Love To
Lay You Down and Slow Hand. Peter and Charlotte had a blast dancing and laughing
and reminiscing. Then Jasper laughed, "Okay, Charlotte, I made Peter pull out his
cowboy boots for this one cuz I saw you dancing in the kitchen to this a few weeks
ago."

Then he started singing Boots On and it was everything I could do to keep my

hands to myself. I wanted his boots off…and the shirt…and maybe the jeans…he
could keep the hat on though…

Good God my thoughts have went in the gutter…

And how on earth is it possible for someone to be so damn sexy? His knee was
moving and his body was swaying…his eyes would close…he was just amazing…

Man, I've been workin too hard

Ten hour days and I'm tired

Damn this knuckle busted',back breakin', no paying job

Know where I'm goin from here

Hot headed women, cold beer

- 90 -
Kick up my heels for a little while

and do it country style

In my dirty 'ole hat

with my crooked little grin

Granny beaded neck

and these calloused hands

And a muddy pair of jeans

with that copenhagen ring

No need to change a thing,

hey y'allI'm going out with my boots on

How I keep catching her eye

Man, I keep wondering why

Ain't nothing special 'bout

an "awe shucks" country boy

Lord, she's sure lookin' good

Like something from Hollywood

She got me thinkin' that I just might

leave here with her tonight

In my dirty 'ole hat

with my crooked little grin

Granny beaded neck

- 91 -
 and these calloused hands

And a muddy pair of jeans

with that copenhagen ring

No need to change a thing,

hey y'all I'm going out with my boots on

When the song was over, Charlotte was laughing so hard she was crying. They
decided to call it a night. They gave us hugs and told us how special and lovely their
evening was. Peter knew we were going camping on his lake tonight so he told us to
go ahead and use his horses, Smokey and Aggie because it was starting to get dark
out.

Jasper and I first went to the kitchen and washed the dishes so Charlotte wouldn't
wake up to a mess. Then Jasper led me out to the stables. I was pretty nervous
because I had never ridden a horse before.

I carried his guitar on my back and he carried the duffle bag. I had no clue how to
get up on the horse and Jasper watched me for a moment in amusement. Finally, he
came up behind me and whispered, "Want a little help?"

I nodded and he took the guitar from me and showed me how to step up on the
horse and swing my leg over. I did as he showed me and finally got up on the thing. I
was still really nervous and I asked, "Um…this horse won't like…go real fast or jump
or anything, right?"

He laughed and said, "Scoot forward a little and hold this." He handed me the
duffle bag and I scooted forward. He easily jumped on behind me with his guitar on
his back. His arms reached around me and grabbed the reigns. He whispered into
my neck, "Relax, Eddie. I won't let you get hurt."

I relaxed because I knew he wouldn't. And we took off slowly out of the barn and
through the woods. We didn't have to worry about anyone seeing us…we were
completely free. It was exhilarating.

When we emerged from the woods and came upon the lake…I was in awe. It was
beautiful. The full white moon shone down on the black lake. It was the only light
out there. The only sound you could hear was the crickets chirping. It was
completely peaceful.
- 92 -
 Jasper got off the horse first and helped me off. Then I watched as he quickly built
a fire and tied the horse up. He was completely in his element out here and it was
really something to watch him.

He rolled out the sleeping bag…only one.

I raised an eyebrow and he just smiled, "There's nobody around us for miles 'cept
Peter and Charlotte and they're not coming out here. I figured what's the point…you
know we'd end up in the same sleeping bag before the night was over anyway."

I just smiled, "You're probably right."

He pulled out some pajama pants and t-shirts. We changed quickly and still didn't
look at each other while we did it.

I sat down on the sleeping bag and sat down across from me. We talked a little
while about how well everything had went tonight for Peter and Charlotte. I was
really proud of how good Jasper did.

Then he reached over and grabbed his guitar. I could see the faint blush in his
cheeks as the soft flames of the campfire lit up his perfect face. He smiled, "Um…I
learned another song. Would you listen to it and tell me what you think?"

I smiled and sat Indian style in front of him, "Of course, Jay."

He took a deep breath and his eyes closed. I listened to the words intently and I
think I held my breath the entire time…

I used to cry out in the middle of the night

Baby hold me tight

But there was nobody beside me when I opened my eyes

Now I turn the corner of those days and nights

Something inside me changed and I think I might

Be starting over I don't wanna run

Oh no, cause you might be the one, baby

- 93 -
His eyes opened and never left mine as he sang the rest of the song…

If ever I could love

I think it could be with you

If ever I thought I

found somebody so true

I wonder if you feel

The same way that I do

If ever I could love

I think it could be with you

You know I can't read your mind my love

But it seems to me

That your heart and mine tonight are Defying gravity

There's something so familiar

And still so unknown

The closer that we get I swear it feels like coming home

And I'm ready to be brave

Oh yea then you look at me and say baby

If ever I could love I think it could be with you

If ever I thought I

found somebody so true

I wonder if you feel

- 94 -
 The same way that I do

If ever I could love I think it could be with you

When he was done, my mind was reeling.

Is he saying…is he in love with me? Is he saying that he could possibly love me?
What's he saying?

My heart was racing as he pulled the guitar from his lap and placed it back in the
case. Then he looked back at me through deep blue eyes and whispered, "So, what
did ya think?"

I took a deep breath before answering, "Um…it was beautiful, Jay. Did it…um…did
it mean anything?"

He smiled, "Yeah, it did."

Then he started laughing and held in his face in his hands for just a moment.
When he looked up at me he just shook his head, "Fuck it…Edward, I think I might
be in love with you. How do you feel about me?"

I was floored…ecstatic, blissful, peaceful, happy beyond belief but still shocked.

I looked down to the ground for a minute trying to get some sort of rational
thought in my head. "Uh…I think…um…"

Then I felt his knees against mine as he scooted forward until we were touching.
He lifted my chin to look at him and whispered, "Breath, Eddie. It's okay, I won't be
mad if you don't feel the same way…"

I shook my head and laughed, "Are you crazy? I'm just really shocked that you feel
the same way I do. I just…wow. I'm crazy about you, Jay. I think about you all the
time…I don't want you with anyone else…I think I might be in love with you too."

He smiled and slowly leaned me back until I was flat on the ground. He slipped
the side of the sleeping bag up and around us before zipping us up together. Then
he leaned down and kissed me. We didn't do much more talking that night. We just
kissed all night long and tangled our legs and arms as we slept.

The sun woke us up, and it was the most wonderful feeling to wake up still
completely tangled in him. I watched his beautiful face as he slept and I couldn't
- 95 -
believe that he really wanted me. I was looking forward to the rest of the summer
now that we could be completely honest with each other.

I knew we still had a lot of things to talk about, but for now…we were happy and
together and that's all that mattered.

Hey guys, check out my collab one shot with AutumnOtts for the
Halloween contest. It's a J/B story called A Virgin's Halloween Sacrifice!

- 96 -
 Chapter 6

Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter...

Playlist:Skinny Dippin by Whitney Duncan, Watch the Wind Go By by Tim

McGraw, Let It Go by Tim McGraw

Jasper's POV

God I can't believe how nervous I was all day about this…

I looked down at Edward asleep in my arms and couldn't help but smile.

He thinks he might be in love with me too…

I'm really gonna have to thank Peter for his help.

I thought back to the fishing trip we had and remembered everything he told me…

"Hey Peter? How'd you know that Charlotte was the one?"

He laughed as he hooked the bait to his line, "Well son, I think the most important
thing about being in love is to be friends first. Me and Charlotte were friends since
we were 12 years old. I remember thinkin how lucky I was that she would actually
wanna be friends with someone like me…she was way too good for me…I was a little
wild in my younger days."

I sat on the bank and squinted up at him, "I think I might be in love with someone
whose too good for me too. It's kinda complicated…but I think about this person all
the time and we always have so much fun together…and even when we're not doing
anything fun, I still wanna be with them. But we're really good friends and I'm afraid
to say anything cuz I don't wanna lose them."

He took a seat next to me and wiped the sweat from his brow, "Let me give you a
little advice, son…now that Charlotte's sick and I know my time with her is comin to
an end…I'd give anything in this world to get back those years that I lost with her
cuz I was afraid of what might happen. Trust me on this, young fella…life is too
short to be afraid of what might happen. If you want something, you just gotta go
for it. Things may not work out the way you hope…but then again, they might work
out even better. Don't waste your years, son. Don't waste 'em being angry at your

- 97 -
past cuz it ain't gonna do you no good…don't waste 'em being afraid or worryin what
anyone else thinks…if you think you're in love, then plan something nice and lay it
all out there…you might be surprised."

Edward shifted in his sleep and his leg hooked up over mine. My arms were
around his back so I just pulled him closer and breathed him in.

I don't know how or why I was falling for Edward but I was positive that it was
happening. Ever since that night with Maria, things have been different. I had to
start asking myself some serious questions about why I had to fake everything when
I was with a girl but not with Edward. I knew that I thought Edward was the best
person I had ever known and as far as personality went…he was incredible. But, did
I find him attractive?

Hell fuckin yeah I did…

I always thought of him as a cute guy but…what the fuck happened! Edward has
become seriously fuckin hot these last few months. I mean…seriously fuckin hot.
He's gotten taller so now I only have a couple of inches on him. Those bright green
eyes are beyond beautiful and his bronze fuckin sex hair is starting to drive me
crazy. His jaw line is strong and his face has lost the roundness in his cheeks. I just
wanted to bite and suck and lick that damn jaw line of his every time we were
together…

The first day we were working together and he took off his shirt and turned his
ball cap backwards, it was everything I could do to hide my fuckin boner all day.
Him and that god damn ball cap. His body is really starting to develop too and fuck
me if Edward Cullen isn't all kinds of fuckable...

His back is strong but lean and his shoulders are starting to broaden. And yeah,
his fuckin abs are starting to look damn good, especially since we started working.
His legs were strong and muscular but lean and long. And fuck it…his ass is really
fuckin nice. I've done good so far keeping my hands off of it but every part of my
body screams at me to just grab and squeeze. And then there's that little dip right
above his ass at the end of his spine…I just wanna dip my tongue in it…

But I digress…yeah, Edward is fuckin gorgeous but he's also really sweet and
smart and fun to be with. He has no idea how beautiful he is. He treats me better
than anyone ever has and he does all these really nice little things that just kinda
make me…melt. So, yeah, I was pretty sure that I was falling in love with him and
after talkin to Peter, I figured, fuck it…I'm gonna be brave and see what happens
because I think there could really be something special between us. I never really
- 98 -
believed in the idea of soul mates…hell, I didn't even believe in love until Edward,
but now…he's just gotta be the one for me. I can just feel it with everything I have…

And then, he gave me the most incredible orgasm of my life…and he never even
touched it. I've had hand jobs and blow jobs and I've fucked way more than any boy
my age really should have…but I've never really enjoyed it. I mean, yeah I've gotten
off and enjoyed the physical part of it to some degree but I've never just been all the
way in it, mind, body, and soul cuz it's never felt 'right' to me. But I wanted to give
Edward all of me cuz I wanted all of him and everything with him felt like how I
always thought it should feel…just perfect. But I really wanted to try and do this
right. I knew we should try and take things slow. I wanted to be physical with him
because he was really hot and beautiful and good at every fuckin thing…but I
wanted his heart too. I wanted him to love me back.

So, I had been trying really hard to think of something nice to do but honestly, I
don't have much experience at this 'love' thing…hell, I have no experience at it. But I
knew he liked to watch me sing and play so I thought that would be a good
idea…and singin helps calm me down. Being out here in the woods helped too. I'm in
my element here. On this farm and in these woods…I felt like me again. I thought
that maybe whoever I was gonna be, got destroyed slowly throughout the years but
Peter helped show me that I'm still that same boy…or at least I could be. I could be
good…I could do something with my life…

I've been totally clean for a little over a week now…I know it's not much but, it's
something. I figured that was probably the first step in making myself good enough
for him. But, it's easy to live in the real world when it consists of being on the farm
or being with Edward…what's gonna happen when the summer ends and I have to
go back home? Will I be able to handle it?

And now that me and Edward are together…wait, I didn't ask him if this meant we
were together…can we even be together, like a couple? I know I really could give a
fuck less what anyone at school thinks…hell, I don't even like those assholes and I
could always just kick their asses if they fuck with us…although, I really do need to
try and stop fightin so much…I need to work on my temper…

But, Edward will care what they think. He's worked so hard to fit in, I'm sure he's
gonna wanna keep this a secret. That's fine by me too, I'll do whatever he wants.

And what would Carlisle and Esme think? I do care what they think…will they hate
me? Shit, they sure as hell wouldn't let me stay the night anymore, that's for damn
sure. And although I could give a flyin fuck what my mom thinks…she would tell my
dad and he'd probably drive all the way out here just so he could kill me…
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 God, three more years and I'll be 18 and finally be able to start really living my
life…I'm gonna cut out my mom and dad from my life permanently…I just hope me
and Edward can make it that long…

Finally, I drifted off to sleep, holding onto Edward and looking forward to waking
up with him still in my arms.

I felt him before I opened my eyes and saw him. He was warm and his long legs
were wrapped around mine. He had one hand resting on my chest…over my heart. I
slowly lifted my sleepy eyes and was met with forest green ones.

I closed my eyes and just pulled him closer. I nuzzled my nose into his warm neck
and took a deep breath. Still half asleep, the southern boy in me was coming out
thick when I whispered , "Mornin' darlin."

He laughed softly into my ear, "Good morning, babe."

And then we both just started laughing. I finally opened my eyes fully and looked
at the beautiful boy in my arms, "Is it weird that I called you darlin?"

He smiled with flushed cheeks, "No…it was pretty cute actually."

I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I laid on my side and he rested his head on
my shoulder. I don't ever remember being this happy. He was curled into me and he
brought his leg up over my hip. His long leg wrapped around my hip and he started
using it as leverage to pull himself closer. Hell, it didn't matter how close he got…he
could never get close enough in my opinion. My hands slid up the back of his t-shirt
and began kneading the warm skin beneath my fingertips. He brought his soft lips to
mine and he placed a few chaste kisses on my lips before his head tilted and his
fingers slid into my hair. His tongue traced my bottom lip before sucking it gently
between his lips and teeth.

I moaned as I parted my lips and tasted him.

Fuck…he tastes so good…

Then he pulled himself against me and pushed his mornin wood into mine. I pulled
away from his mouth with a load groan, "Fuck that feels good…"

He licked his tongue from my neck to my earlobe before pulling it gently between

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his teeth. He whispered, "I want you, Jay...please…"

Well good God man, how the hell am I supposed to be good when he says things
like that…

Edward had this way of making me feel…well, high. That's the only way I can
really describe it. He was better than any drug I ever had and I figured he was the
better addiction.

Since we were on our sides I decided to let him have the power and I rolled over
on my back, pulling him on top of me. He was rock fuckin hard and from what I've
felt…Eddie's packin some serious heat…which was both fuckin amazing and fuckin
terrifying at the same time. His legs were on either side of my waist and he laid on
top of me trapping our hard cocks between us, the thin material of our pajama pants
did little to mask the throbbing and twitching we were eliciting from each other. His
hot breath on my neck from his ragged breathing and his soft moans were starting
to drive me wild…

You really should stop this…

but he wants me…

it's too fast…

he feels so fuckin good…

Who am I to deny him what he wants…

Too fast…

Must grab and squeeze…

I just couldn't stop my hands from trailing down his smooth back and then my
fingertips dug into the soft flesh at the waist band of his pants before pushing their
way underneath the flimsy material and grabbing two handfuls of that luscious ass…

Fuckin heaven…

He moaned, "Oh God Jay…" and then he lifted his head. His pretty green eyes
were clouded with lust and his sexy cherry lips were parted from shallow breaths.
He sat back on my hands giving me full permission to squeeze and knead his perfect
cheeks…
- 101 -
 He ripped his shirt over his head then crashed his lips to mine. His hard chest was
pressed against mine as his hands slid under my shirt and grabbed my hips. He
began moving himself against me…our cocks sliding against each other through the
thin material.

His kiss was deep and thick with want and need. His tongue was exploring every
area of my mouth as his teeth nipped and grazed my lips. No one could kiss like
Edward. And the feel of his firm body moving against mine was starting to make me
fuckin delirious…

My hands slid around to his hips and my fingers clenched hot skin and encouraged
his movements…

He broke away from my lips as his head fell back with a long moan. My breathing
was ragged at the sight of this beautiful boy above me coming completely undone.

He quickened his pace and started grinding his hips hard against mine. I gripped
his hips and started thrusting myself up against him. Both of our breathing was now
erratic and filled with grunts and moans and whimpers. I could feel that familiar
tingle signaling that I was getting close…

I looked up at him…his eyes were closed and his head hung down as he drew in
shaky breaths. I continued rubbing my fingers along the smooth skin of his hips and
started rubbing my thumbs in circles over his hipbones.

He was grunting and moaning as his breaths became more shallow. He whispered,
"Fuck…gonna cum…"

Hearing Edward talk like that was almost enough to push me over the
edge…almost. Instead I looked down at where I had stretched the material of his
pants out while I made room for my roaming hands. I saw his lower stomach
muscles begin to tighten…my eyes traveled further south until they saw bronze
curls…then even further south where I could only see the head of his cock as he
came in thick white spurts against the thin material.

That sight threw me over as I called out, "Oh fuck Edward…" I came harder than I
ever had as my back arched and I went completely light headed before just
collapsing to the ground. He collapsed on top of me as we both struggled to contain
our breathing and trembled occasionally from aftershocks.

I was on cloud fuckin nine…all I could feel was…bliss…how I got so lucky to find
someone like him, I'll never know but I thank whatever God is listening for him cuz if
- 102 -
Heaven existed, I was in it.

After a minute, he sighed, "Wow."

I laughed softly as he smiled against my neck, "Yeah. My thoughts exactly."

He raised up and kissed me gently again before sitting up and shifting his pants
uncomfortably. I smiled, "Maybe we oughta get cleaned up." He nodded and looked
out over the lake. His cheeks were flushed, his hair was crazier than usual, and he
wore a sweet smile on his face.

He's thinkin about what we just did…

"What'cha thinkin about, Eddie?" I sit up next to him with my legs sprawled out in
front of me and leaning back on my hands. His knees are pulled up to his chest and
his arms are wrapped loosely around them.

His cheeks turned pink, "Um…swimming?"

I nodded, "Hey that's a good idea. Wanna go swimming?"

He smiled at me, "Yeah. Did you bring our trunks?"

I stood up and shook my head, "No. We'll just have to go skinny dippin."

He looked at me like I was crazy and I laughed, "Edward, we need to get cleaned
up. We'll keep our eyes and our hands to ourselves. You've probably never been
skinny dippin before, have you?"

He shook his head. I smiled, "Well, Edward, if I gotta play in the snow…you gotta
go skinny dippin. It's part of being a teenager…we do stupid shit like this…it's kinda
our thing."

He laughed, "Okay."

I pulled my shirt off and he turned around shyly as he decided if he was gonna
take his pants off. I laughed, "You're so funny, Eddie. Well, stay turned around
unless you wanna look at me…and honestly, who wouldn't?"

He laughed, "God Jay! You're so blunt."

I threw my pants and boxer briefs to the ground and smiled at the beautiful shy
- 103 -
boy whose head kept minutely turning towards me. "Yeah, I am." I knew I was
blunt…I just didn't feel the need to pussy foot around shit. If I thought something,
I'd likely say it.

I grabbed my junk and jumped into the cool water. It felt amazing. The sun was
bearing down hot but the water remained cool and soothing.

I broke through to the surface and pushed my hair outta my eyes. I looked at the
bank at Edward. He was standing there looking at me, still blushing.

He called out to me, "Turn around."

So I did. But I shouted out to him, "Hey Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure to hold your dick and balls when you jump cuz if they smack the
water, that shit hurts like a son of a bitch."

I could hear him laughing and he finally managed out, "Thanks for the warning."

A minute later I heard the splash and felt the water ripple around me. I turned
around as he came outta the water lookin ten different kinds of sinful.

He pushed his hair back and rubbed the water from his eyes. When he opened
them, he sighed, "This feels fantastic."

I smiled back, "See, told ya."

True to our word, we didn't touch each other. Instead, we just swam around,
splashed each other, and just…had fun.

He was treading the water just a couple feet in front of me with a beautiful grin on
his face. I returned it and worked up the nerve to start the talk I wanted to have,
"Hey Eddie?"

"Yeah?"

"We should probably talk about…um, last night and what it means?"

He bit his lip for a moment and nodded. I knew I'd have to lead this conversation,
"I meant what I said. This is more than just physical for me. Do you feel the same
- 104 -
way?"

He nodded and smiled.

I love shy Eddie…

"Okay, good. Well, how do ya wanna do this then?"

He shrugged, "I don't have a clue. I was kind of hoping you'd know how this
works. This would be a lot easier if you were a girl…"

He chuckled and I splashed him, "If I was a girl, you wouldn't like me."

He laughed and smiled, "I think I'd like you no matter what you were."

Then I thought about something he had said a few months ago, "Do you still
wanna try dating girls, Edward?"

He took a deep breath and shook his head, "Honestly…no. I just want to be with
you. I wish this wasn't so hard."

I sighed, "Yeah, I know, I wish it wasn't either. But even if it's hard, I still wanna
try. I think it'll be worth it."

He smiled softly at me, "Yeah, me too." Then he tilted his head and looked away,
"Um…what about you? Do you still want to date girls?"

I smiled, "No, Eddie. I'm in love with you, remember?"

He smiled and blushed, "I love you too, Jay."

Now I was blushing…damn boy's the only person in this world to make me blush.

We were quiet for a moment when he finally spoke quietly, "So, what do you think
we should do?"

I thought for a minute and sighed, "Um…well, I guess we just keep on the way we
are. As long as we watch what we say and do around people, they'll never know. And
if one day you're comfortable telling people, then we'll cross that bridge when we
get there. I guess I'm saying that we should just take our time and go slow with this
since neither one of us knows exactly what we're doing. I just want this to work."

- 105 -
 He smiled, "Me too." Then I saw him shiver.

"You ready to get out, Edward?"

He nodded so I turned around, "Go ahead and get out first. I did bring a couple of
towels."

I heard him get out of the water, "So you brought towels but no swimming
trunks?" He asked his question with suspicion and I laughed, "Fine, I'm busted. I
totally planned on goin skinny dippin with you. I wanted to do it last night but you
distracted me."

He was laughing and finally he called out, "Okay, I'm dressed."

I turned around and swam back to the shore. Edward turned around and I got out
and pulled on a pair of boxers and jean shorts. I was kinda tired now from swimming
all morning. I scooted back on the sleeping bag and laid down on my back with my
arm under my head, "What time do you gotta be home, Edward?"

He yawned, "Um…whenever. My mom just said to call her whenever we were

ready."

I looked up at him, "Wanna take a nap before we head back?"

He nodded and yawned again. He laid down next to me and threw his arm over my
chest and his leg over mine as he snuggled into my neck. I had one arm around his
back and the other still behind my head. I closed my eyes and got lost in the
perfection of this moment. Me and Edward lying here, completely free, tangled up in
each other with the warm sun shining down on us and the cool breeze washing
through. It didn't take long until we were both sleeping.

I woke up first and just laid there watching him, completely content. He looked so
peaceful. I noticed that he never had nightmares when I held him. They always
started after I moved to the other side of the bed. I wish I could always hold him all
night and keep them away but that was impossible for the time being.

He finally started stirring. He opened his sleepy green eyes and I smiled,
"Afternoon, darlin."

He laughed, "You remember what happened last time you called me darlin? Do
you really want a repeat performance?"

- 106 -
 I nodded, "Yep." And I leaned forward and kissed his soft lips gently. I smiled,
"But, I'm starving and I know you gotta be too."

He nodded, "Yeah."

We got up and packed up our bag. We decided to walk the horse back to the
stable and once we got there, I went ahead and fed the horses before we headed to
the house. We were walking up through the back field when I saw Charlotte hanging
up clothes on a clothesline.

She smiled brightly when she saw us, "Hey boys! Did ya'll have a good time at the
lake?"

We both nodded and then I said, "Charlotte, why don't you relax a little and let me
hang this up for you? It's not good for your back."

She smiled, "You're such a good boy, Jasper. You too, Edward. What you boys did
for me last night was truly something special. You two are something else when you
put your heads together."

We just smiled and I began hanging up the laundry. Charlotte smiled at Edward,
"Dear, I was gonna make some fried green tomatoes…would you like to help an old
woman out?"

I turned at the mention of that, "I love fried green tomatoes…I haven't had them
since I was a little kid."

She smiled, "Well, I got me a whole mess of 'em, son."

Edward smiled, "I'd love to help you, Charlotte. I like to cook and since they're
Jasper's favorite, I'd like to know how to make them."

He's so sweet…thank God he can cook cuz Lord knows I can't cook for shit…

I kept hanging up the laundry when Peter came from around the house and
spotted me. He laughed, "Charlotte put you to work, huh?"

I smiled at him, "No, I volunteered. Besides, she's making fried green tomatoes."

Peter rubbed his belly, "Mmm…"

I laughed since he kinda looked like Homer Simpson when he did that. He came
- 107 -
over and started helping me with the laundry, "So, did you boys have a good time
last night?"

I nodded, "Yeah it was great. Thanks so much for letting us use it."

He smiled, "You can use it anytime you want, son. This place is as much yours as it
is ours."

I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found someone like Peter and Charlotte
too.

"Thanks, Peter."

He nodded and raised an eyebrow, "Well, son…how did it go? What did he say?"

I smiled and turned to him, "He loves me…too….Peter, how did you…" I suddenly
realized that he said "he."

I could feel my heart starting to beat faster…

He knows…

He smiled warmly at me, "Well, for one thing…you look at him, the way I look at
Charlotte. And I've seen you boys working together…he can barely keep his eyes off
of you. So he loves you too, huh? That's great news, son."

I was floored, "You mean…you're not like grossed out or think I'm a weirdo or
anything?"

Peter chuckled and motioned over to the picnic table for us to sit down. We both
sat on the top and he looked up at the sky and took a deep breath.

"I'm 76 years old, son. I've seen so much in my lifetime and one lesson that I've
learned…some things just aren't important. You love him, he loves you…so to hell
with everything else. It's just not important cuz 50 years from now when you look
back…the only thing that will matter is that you loved and you took a shot. No
regrets, son. If you never take a chance in life, you may miss out on something
pretty damn good. So my best piece of advice…if people don't like what you're
doing…fuck em. It's your life, live it."

I laughed at how he just knew exactly what to say. He was a crotchety old
bastard…just like I'm sure I'll be when I'm his age. "Thanks, Peter. I will."
- 108 -
 He turned and looked at me with a more serious expression on his face, "Son, can
I ask you something?"

I nodded, "Of course, Peter."

He sighed, "I know your home life's pretty rough, son. And you know that
Charlotte's not doing too well. I was thinkin that if you ever needed a place to stay,
you could stay here. I could use the help and the company. I'd pay ya of course. We
have a spare bedroom and me and Charlotte love having you around."

I was really kinda…touched.

"Peter, if I stayed here, you wouldn't have to pay me. I'll think about it. I don't
deserve to have such good people in my life like you and Charlotte.."

He cut me off, "Bullshit! Now I want you to listen to me, son, and listen good…you
are a good boy. You deserve people to treat you right. But I see that wildfire in your
eye, son. I have that same one…that wildfire in your eye tells me just how easily you
can go one way or the other. I spent so much time in my youth believing that I
wasn't worth nothing…so I acted like how they thought I would. I drank and ran wild
and got into trouble at every turn because I believed my pa when he told me that I
weren't no good. Don't you believe 'em, son. You are a good boy who can do good
things and live one hell of a good life…but you gotta let all that bullshit go, Jasper.
Anger…rage…hate…those things will consume you from the inside out if you let 'em.
You gotta let it go, son. Just let it all go."

I swear, he's gotta be like a guardian angel or something…

"I will, Peter. I'm trying real hard already. I think if I'm away from my mom that I
have a better shot of staying outta trouble. I really appreciate what you're doing for
me."

He smiled and squeezed my shoulder, "Well, you're doin a lot for us too, son. Now,
c'mon…I can smell then fried green maters from here."

The summer had been amazing so far. School started in a couple weeks and I was
dreading it so I was determined to make the most of these last two weeks of Heaven.
Edward and I had been together pretty much the entire summer. On the rare
occasion that we weren't together, I was crashing at Peter's house.

- 109 -
 I loved it out there. It was quiet and peaceful. I could think out there without my
mind running all wild. Peter and Charlotte usually went to bed by 8pm so I had the
place to myself at night…and I was a night owl. I would sit out on the porch at night
and just think. Sometimes I would walk out to the barn or through the fields.

But tonight I was lying on the couch watching TV waiting for Edward to call me.
He had to go to some family thing and wasn't getting back until late. I switched my
phone to vibrate so it wouldn't wake up Peter and Charlotte.

I must've fallen asleep because the vibration in my hand woke me up. I pulled the
phone to my ear and whispered, "Hey babe."

He laughed softly, "Hey. You were sleeping, Jay…I should let you get back to
sleep."

I took a deep breath and yawned as I tried to wake up, "No, baby. I'm awake now
and I wanna talk to you. I was waiting for you to call me."

"Alright, but if you want to go back to sleep, just let me know."

"Will do, Eddie. Now tell me about your day."

I got up and crept out to the back porch. I sat down on the steps and pulled out a
cigarette. I mean, gimme a break, I quit drinking and pot and pills…I wasn't quite
ready to let go of everything.

I took a drag as Edward told me about visiting his Aunt Donna and her baby boy.
He had felt awkward and uncomfortable for most of the day because of all the
people there…but he liked it when he made faces at the baby and he would giggle.

"You like kids, Edward?" I asked.

He laughed, "Not really…I like babies. Babies are pure…innocent…kids suck."

Now I laughed, "Yeah…I never really pictured myself with kids. How about you?
You want kids someday?"

He was quiet for a moment and then he sighed, "No."

The way he said it struck me as odd, "What's wrong, Edward?"

"Nothing, Jay."
- 110 -
 But I could tell something was off, "Tell me, Edward. Please."

He took a deep breath and spoke quietly, "My dad was a paranoid schizophrenic
who murdered my mom and nearly murdered me when he was experiencing
paranoid delusions. He heard voices in his head and saw demons and angels.
Schizophrenia is hereditary. And coupled with abuse the chances that I could have it
are much higher. My blood is tainted. And even though it's just a possibility…I would
never want to risk a child getting it because of my bad blood."

I didn't know much about the disease so I didn't really know what to say…

"Edward, you know it's just a possibility, not a certainty. There's nothing wrong
with you."

He was quiet for a minute and then said, "So, um, how was your day?"

I wasn't going to push him to talk to me about it so we just talked for awhile about
nothing in-particular. Finally he yawned for the third time and I whispered, "Eddie,
go to bed. I'll see you in the mornin."

He yawned again and whispered, "I wish you were here."

"Me too. Just call me when you wake up."

He sighed, "Okay, Jay. Good night."

"Hey, call me if you have a bad nightmare. I'm keeping my phone on vibrate so I'll
feel it, okay?"

"You don't have to do that, Jay."

I yawned, "I know you can handle yourself, Edward but please call me if you need
me."

"Okay, I promise. Thanks, Jay."

"Night, darlin."

"Night, babe."

I finished my cigarette and went to the room I was staying in. I opened the
window and crawled in bed.
- 111 -
 The vibrating under my cheek woke me up.

Edward…

"Edward, what's wrong?" I woke up quickly because I knew how bad his
nightmares could get and I knew that I was going over there.

I heard him crying and heard the sound of running water in the background. I had
already pulled on my jeans and was pulling on my boots, "I'm on my way, Edward.
Just hang on, baby."

He whimpered but didn't say anything. I wrote out a quick note to Peter and ran
out to the barn. Peter had an old bike in there he didn't use and I knew it would be
faster than running.

A minute later I was racing as fast as I could to his house. I stayed on the phone
with him the whole way there but couldn't get him to speak. On bike it still took me
almost half an hour to get to Edward's.

I left the bike sitting out of sight in the woods and ran around to the back of the
house to his window. The alarm was on the doors, but not the windows.

"Edward, I'm here. Is your window unlocked?"

I heard a barely whispered, "Yeah."

I started climbing the tree that led up to his window. I still held onto the phone as
I climbed. Once I got to his window, I pushed it up and crawled in.

I took a quick breath to prepare myself and walked into the bathroom. I flipped my
phone shut and laid it on the counter. Edward was sitting in the bathtub, in his
pajamas with the shower running.

Fuck…

I quickly turned the water off and he whimpered. "I'm here, Edward…" I crawled
in there with him. He was wet and shaking as he rocked back and forth with his legs
up and his arms wrapped around them tightly. I picked him up and slid underneath
him so that he was in my lap. I rocked him for a few minutes, "It's okay, baby.
Breathe, darlin…I'm here…no one's gonna hurt you with me around."

He whimpered and let go of his legs to throw his arms around me. He continued
- 112 -
crying softly as I held him. He would be like this for a bit. These nightmares he had
were terrifying. He usually dreamt different memories of what happened the night
his father went crazy but they morphed into visions of demons chasing him. He
would dream that he was in the trunk of his father's car. The car was old and rusted
and it had been thunder storming that night. The rain seeped into the trunk and got
him wet. He could hear his dad screaming that the angels were crying because he
had damned them all to Hell…but Edward had believed that an angel would save
him. He thought that God would never allow a child to be hurt. I think that's why he
always ended up curled up in the bathtub with the shower going…that was the last
time he held hope before that bastard destroyed him.

The first night he had one like this was when we came back from our camping
trip. It scared the shit outta me cuz I just woke up to see that he was gone and then
I found him in the bathroom doing this same thing.

I held onto him tight as I rocked him, not caring about the fact that he was
soaking wet. I whispered, "It was just a dream, baby. There's no one here but you
and me. You're safe, darlin. None of it was real. You think I'd let anyone hurt you?"

He shook his head as his breathing started calming and his cries stopped. I kissed
his forehead and whispered, "That's right, Eddie. I won't ever let anyone hurt you
again, baby. I'll always keep you safe…"

He was shivering by the time he calmed down and I whispered, "We've gotta get
some dry clothes on you, babe." He nodded and tightened his grip around my neck. I
lifted us both up and he set his feet on the ground. I helped him out of the tub and
kept one arm around him for support as I grabbed a towel from the bathroom closet.

I threw it over my shoulder and grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt. It was difficult
to peel it off with one hand but I managed. "Put your hands on my shoulders, baby."
He did as I asked and I hooked my thumbs into his pajama pants and boxers and
peeled them down his wet body.

I grabbed the towel and began drying him off. Then I wrapped it around his waist
and put my arm back around him. I led him to the bed and sat him down. I quickly
locked his bedroom door and pulled him some dry clothes out. I helped him get
dressed and once he was comfortable, I changed outta my wet clothes quickly. I
crawled into bed and he snuggled into my chest. I played with his hair and rubbed
his back until he was ready to talk.

After awhile, I felt his lips against my chest and he whispered, "I'm so sorry Jay…"

- 113 -
 "Don't be, Edward. Are you okay?"

He nodded and looked up at me through bright green eyes with a crooked grin on
his face, "You're an angel, Jasper."

I laughed, "I'm no angel, baby."

He quickly got up and straddled me. He leaned down to my ear and whispered,
"Yes you are…I saw your wings." And then he's kissing me almost frantically. As
good as it feels…I'm terrified at this moment because something is off with Edward.

I pull away and hold his face to look in his eyes and they are bright…almost wild.
"Edward, what are you talking about?" My heartbeat is racing as he smiles, "When
you opened the trunk to rescue me before the demon broke me…you rescued me
and I saw your wings."

"Baby, are you talking about your dream?"

He looks at me and I can see the confusion on his face for just a moment until his
eyes close and he pinches the bridge of his nose, "Yeah, Jay. I'm sorry…my dream
just freaked me out a bit."

He looked up at me and his eyes were softer, "I'm okay now. I'm sorry if I scared
you."

I kissed his soft lips just once and pulled him into a hug, "Tell me what happened,
Edward."

We laid down and he curled into me, "Um…it was just a crazy dream…I don't want
to talk about it."

I was almost in tears and officially freaked out, "Please tell me, Edward. I need to
know, okay? Please."

He sighed and closed his eyes, "It started different this time. You and me were in
the forest having a snowball fight. Everything was perfect…but then I started seeing
these shadows in the woods. They were demons and they were calling your name.
They were sneaking up on you but you couldn't see them…you heard them though
and you turned to go to them. I followed after you but you were just…gone. I was
terrified. I ran through the woods screaming for you and I finally fell to my knees
and curled up. Then I felt the rain and heard it beating against the trunk of the car. I
opened my eyes and I was six years old again and in that trunk praying to God to
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save me. Then you opened the trunk and the sunlight flashed against you and it just
illuminated you. You had wings. The next thing I remember is you being in the tub
with me. I'm sorry, Jay."

I shed just a couple of tears before pulling his chin up to look at him, "Edward…I
think we should tell your dad about these dreams…"

He sat up and shook his head, "No, Jay! It's not a big deal…I've just been really
stressed lately with high school getting ready to start and everything. It will be fine.
I promise. Please, Jay…what if they put me in the hospital again? I can't leave
you…please just give me a little more time. Everything will be okay."

My mind was reeling because I didn't know what to do…but maybe he was right.
Maybe he was just stressed out and things would get better. Besides, what if they
did try and take him away from me? Neither one of us would make it without the
other.

"Okay, Edward. But please tell me every time anything like this happens, okay?"

He nodded and I rubbed my thumb across his cheek, "You sure you're alright
now?"

He nodded again and gave me his sweet shy smile, "Yeah. I'm just really tired. Will
you stay with me?"

I smiled and kissed his soft lips, "Always."

We snuggled under the blanket and he fell asleep. Once I was sure he was out, I
slid out from under him and went to the window. I cracked it open and lit a
cigarette. I was still freaked out about what happened to Edward and I needed to
cry but didn't want to have a meltdown in front of him. So I had a small meltdown
now that he was asleep. I felt better after a little while and I threw out my cigarette
and crawled back into bed with Edward.

The next morning, I just snuck back down the tree and came to the front door.
Mrs. C. let me in and I ate breakfast with them.

Edward didn't have any more nightmares for the next couple of weeks leading up
to the start of school. So, our last two weeks were wonderful. We stayed together
every night and we were together every day. But, sadly, all good things must come
to an end and it was the night before our first day of high school. Back to being
around all those assholes every day, pretending to give a shit…having to hide what I
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feel about Edward every day and dealing with the girls that are used to me flirting
with them.

Yep, the summer had been Heaven and I was certain that high school was gonna
be Hell.

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 Chapter 7

Song: When the Lights Go Out by The Black Keyes

Edward's POV

This had been the best summer of my life. I hated that it was ending. So many
things had changed these few short months. I was completely in love. And I could
tell that he felt the same way. He was very affectionate which surprised me.
Whenever we were alone he would call me pet names and he was always touching
me, even if it was just holding hands or nudging our feet together. And I felt
completely comfortable with him. I trusted him with everything. I was in love with
my best friend, what could possibly be better than that?

And I've always thought Jasper was hot but now…it was everything I could do to
keep my hands from roaming too freely. I remember the first day I got to live out my
little cowboy hat fantasy…

It had been three weeks ago and Peter and Charlotte were going to be gone all
day for her chemo treatment. I was at the house helping Jasper take care of the
horses…okay well I watched him take care of the horses…they still freaked me out a
little.

He was wearing his old faded jeans that were torn some in the legs and hung low
on his hips. He had that sexy black cowboy hat on with his messy blonde hair
sticking out from underneath. He had on no shirt and I was licking my lips
instinctively at the sight of little beads of sweat trailing down his back. God I wanted
to lick him…

I mean for crying out loud…the boy was so hot I wanted to lick the sweat from his
abs and his neck and his back and…other things.

I watched as he stretched up to brush the pretty black horse. He was whispering

to it like they shared a secret. And I could see the complete trust in both of their
eyes. I always believed that animals have the instinctual ability to realize who they
can and cannot trust. Animals gravitated to Jasper. If there was a stray dog outside,
it followed him home, once we were at a McDonald's eating outside and a crow
landed right next to him. My mom was freaking out and trying to shoo it away but
Jasper just laughed and fed it a few French fries before it took off…and he's got
some squirrels out here at Peter's house that will eat nuts right from his hand.

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 Animals stay away from me…

Once he was done brushing him, he went and grabbed the saddle, "I'm gonna take
Smokie out for a little run…he needs to stretch his legs. Wanna come?"

"Um…I don't know about the whole 'running' thing…" I fidgeted and pulled my
ball cap down low.

He laughed, "Don't worry, Edward. Me and Smokie have an understanding…he

knows how special you are to me and he won't get out of hand."

I shook my head and laughed, "Is that what you two were talking about?"

He nodded, "Yep. C'mon, babe…I wanna take you for a ride you'll never forget and
I promise you won't regret…"

How the hell am I supposed to say no when he asks like that…

I reluctantly agreed and he helped me up on Smokie before jumping up behind

me. He reached around and grabbed the reigns and we began trotting out of the
barn and into the field.

We trotted around for a bit so I could get comfortable but I was having a pretty
hard time getting comfortable having him pressed up against my backside. I could
feel his breath on my neck and it only managed to heighten my awareness of our
precarious position.

Then he let go of the reigns with one of his hands and my breathing shifted when
he placed it on my thigh. He began rubbing it softly and I had to work on controlling
my breathing from just the small contact.

Slowly, his hand started sliding to my inner thigh and working it's way up. Then
he whispered in my ear, "Ready to go a little faster, Eddie?" His words were enough
to make my heart beat faster, but when they were combined with his sexy southern
drawl and the honey of his breath…I knew without a doubt that I was ready to go a
little faster.

I managed a breathy, "Yeah I'm ready."

He chuckled softly against my neck and whispered, "Hold on tight, darlin."

He made a clicking noise and shuffled the reigns and we began going faster. It
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was actually a lot of fun because I felt completely safe with him. We galloped around
for a little while and finally entered a path in the woods.

"You doin' okay, babe?" he asked against my neck. I nodded, "Yeah, Jay." Then I
reached back and put my hand on his thigh and squeezed just a little. I could feel
him start to harden against my back and I turned my head to look into his baby blue
eyes, "I'm ready to go faster, Jay."

He flashed a wicked grin, "You sure about that, Edward?"

I licked my bottom lip and grinned crookedly at him, "Positive."

He leaned forward and brushed his soft lips against mine. Then he whispered,
"Hold on, Edward. This ride is gonna get pretty wild."

I turned back around and held on tight. Jasper chided the horse and then we were
racing through the forest. The trees were whipping by us and the wind was ripping
through. It was exhilarating. I couldn't help the laughter that escaped my lips and I
could hear his sweet angelic laughter in my ear.

Once we reached the lake, he slowed the horse down to a trot and then stopped
him. He leaned into my neck and his breath gave me goose bumps, "Wanna hang out
by the lake for a little while?"

I nodded and he got off the horse and helped me down. He held my hand as we sat
down on the soft grass. I watched the rise and fall of his tan, toned stomach and I
couldn't stop myself from running fingertips across it. His breathing hitched and he
leaned back on his elbows to give me better access.

I looked up at him to see him watching my fingers on his stomach with a soft smile
on his face. I brushed my fingertips across his stomach and around to his hip before
finally resting it on the ground next to him. I slowly leaned over him and placed my
leg on the other side of his waist as I now straddled his lap.

His cowboy hat was pulled low, hiding his perfect face from me. I watched as he
raised his hooded eyes to look into mine. He was still up on his elbows so I leaned
down into his neck and placed soft wet kisses from his shoulder to his ear. He tilted
his head to give me better access. When I reached his ear lobe, I sucked it gently
between my lips and he let out a long sigh, "Mmm…"

I whispered, "Do you have any idea what you do to me in that damn cowboy hat?"

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 He laughed softly, "The same thing you do to me in that god damn ball cap."

Now I laughed and sat up, still on his lap, "Really?"

He smiled, "Yeah. I swear, boy, you do things to me that I can't even explain."

I smiled back, "I could say the same thing."

He sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist and mine went around his neck.
He reached up and turned my cap backwards and whispered, "C'mere pretty boy."

I don't know why I loved it so much when he called me that but it always did
something to me. I leaned forward and closed my eyes. His lips found mine easily
because they knew where they belonged. We kissed all afternoon…

I was pulled from my wonderful memory when Jasper came out of the bathroom,
freshly showered and wearing only a pair of blue plaid pajama pants. His golden
curls were damp and hanging down around his face.

It was the night before our first day of high school. He was staying the night and
we were going to walk to school together in the morning. I was really nervous about
starting school again. This summer had been so perfect…me and Jasper had lived in
our own little world and I was dreading having to go back to the real world.

In our world, me and Jasper were in love. We could hold hands and kiss and do all
the things that people who love each other do. But in the real world, we were just
friends. No kissing. No affection that I had come to crave so intensely from him. And
girls. Stupid, slutty girls who couldn't wait to dig their claws into my man. Just the
thought of one of them stealing touches from him made my blood boil. He was mine
and I just prayed that I could handle whatever was thrown my way this year.

I had been in bed waiting for him. He walked over to the door and locked it before
pulling back the covers and crawling in beside me. I curled up next to him and my
senses were filled with his natural pleasing scent. He sighed as he ran his fingers
mindlessly through my hair.

"You nervous about school tomorrow, Edward?"

Now I sighed as I ran my fingers up and down his bicep, "Yeah."

He leaned down and kissed my lips softly. Just the feel of his soft pouty lips and
bare chest against my shirted one caused me to harden almost instantly.
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 Crap…I know he can feel that against his leg…

He pulled away a bit and smirked, "You really should jerk off more, Edward."

I groaned in embarrassment and started to get out of bed to go take a cold

shower. I muttered under my breath, "Wish I could…"

Then I felt him grab my arm, "Wait. What did you say?"

God please kill me now…

"Nothing, Jay. I'm going to go take a cold shower."

He let go of my arm and sat up, "Edward, wait a second."

I turned to look at him, embarrassed beyond belief and still hard as a rock.

"Babe, I didn't mean to embarrass you. But I need to ask you a question."

I looked down at the bed, "Okay."

He took a deep breath before whispering, "Edward, don't you masturbate?"

Now God! Kill me now!

I groaned again and hung my head down on my hands. I wanted to cry.

Instead I just shook my head.

He sounded concerned as he scooted up behind me and nuzzled into my neck,

"Why, baby? No wonder you're so horny all the time…"

I groaned again and pulled away, "It's not funny…"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back down on the bed, "I wasn't making fun of
you, Edward. You know better than that. But I'm a little concerned, babe. I mean,
seriously, I have to jerk off like twice a day to keep from attacking you in public."

I chuckled a little and he put his hand on my chin to turn my face to his, "Tell me
why. Please."

I looked down at my hands and then his breathing hitched. He reached out and
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took my hands in his. He brought them to his lips and kissed the palms. "It's your
hands, huh?"

I nodded and continued looking at the bedspread. Every time I looked at my

hands, all I could think of was that sick bastard's hands on top of them…squeezing
them…his hands…my hands…almost one in the same.

Jasper was quiet for a moment and then he whispered, "Edward, I don't want
things to move too fast between us because I really care about you and I want to
take our time…but, maybe I could help you."

I looked up at him now, "What do you mean?"

He looked a little nervous and he spoke quietly, "Um…well, I could help you out
this one time and give you something to focus on when you need to…um, do it on
your own. Do you trust me?"

His baby blue eyes were penetrating mine, "Jay, you know I trust you."

He smiled, "Okay. Then I just want you to do as I say, okay?"

I nodded and tried to push away the butterflies in my stomach. He scooted back
and sat against my headboard, "C'mere, baby."

I crawled up to him and he whispered, "Turn around with your back against my
chest."

I did as he asked and sat in between his legs with my back against him. He
reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his Ipod, sitting it next to us. Then his
hands went to the bottom of my t-shirt and began lifting it up. I raised my arms as
he glided it off my body and set it down next to us.

I felt his lips against my shoulder and he started kissing me softly along my
shoulder and neck and back. Then his hands started rubbing my shoulders and he
whispered, "Just relax, baby."

I let out the breath that I had been holding and relaxed against his chest. After a
few minutes, his hands began trailing down my sides until they were at the waist
band of my pajama pants. He hooked his fingers into them and my boxer briefs. He
whispered against my neck, "Lift up, darlin."

I took a deep breath and lifted my hips. He began slowly pushing my clothing
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down over my hips and down my thighs as my cock sprang free. He took a sharp
breath and whispered, "Jesus, you're really big, Edward." My breathing was already
accelerated and I whispered breathlessly, "You think so?"

His lips brushed underneath my ear and he whispered in his honey voice, "Your
cock is beautiful, Edward. And one day, I'm gonna see if it tastes as delicious as it
looks…"

I gulped and felt it twitch against my stomach. He pushed my clothes down to my

knees and I lifted them to slide my clothes completely off. I felt his heavy panting in
my ear and him start to harden through his pajama pants against my bare back.

Shit…I'm completely naked in my bed with Jasper…

Slowly, his rough hands trailed back up my thighs, leaving a path of fire from their
touch. His lips were on my neck as he whispered with his deep southern drawl, "And
one day, I'm gonna feel you inside of me as we make love for the very first time…"

My eyes closed and I groaned as my head fell back against his shoulder. His hands
trailed over my stomach as his lips found mine. I felt his talented tongue brush
across them and I parted my lips to taste him. We kissed deep as our tongues
danced and explored one another. I could feel him twitching against my back.

Once I was so breathless I felt faint, I gently pulled away and gazed into his
beautiful baby blues, "I always thought that…um, when we…when we were together
that I would…um…be on the…uh…bottom."

I couldn't imagine Jasper relinquishing that kind of control…but the thought

caused my cock to start aching from need. I don't know what I did in my life to have
been so blessed with this beautiful, sexy, sweet as hell man, but I silently thanked
whoever was responsible.

He smiled and whispered, "Oh you will, Edward but our first time, I want to be.
And knowing you as well as I do…I'm sure I'll really fuckin enjoy it and want you
inside me again and again…"

I was shocked to say the least. He laughed softly at the expression on my face, "Do
you really think I would have you do something I wouldn't do myself? We're in this
together, babe. Besides, I can't think of anything I want more than to feel your
thick…hard…cock moving inside of me and you above me…fuck, Edward, I'm sure
you can feel what that thought alone does to me…"

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 His cock was stiff and pulsing against my back through his pants. I reached my
hand behind me and stroked him once through the thin material and could already
feel the wetness at his tip.

But his hand grabbed mine and pulled it away, "Uh uh, Eddie. Tonight is about
you. Don't worry about me."

He let go of my hand and grabbed his Ipod. "I'm gonna play a song for you. This is
the song I usually…uh, jerk off too. So, when you're alone and you need to do this, I
want you to put this song on repeat and think of me. It's called, 'When the Lights Go
Out.'"

He shuffled through the songs and then put one ear bud in each of our ears. The
song started and immediately reminded me of Jasper with it's southern blues feel.

He held his hand out and whispered, "Give me your hand, Edward. Lay it in mine,
palm up." I did as he asked and he slowly brought it to his lips. He kissed the palm
before I felt his hot, wet tongue stroke languidly from top to bottom over and over
until it was coated in his sweet honey.

Then he lead my hand down to my throbbing cock and wrapped our hands around
the base. I whimpered from the contact. His fingers were interlaced with mine as he
started slowly working our hands up my turgid shaft. He kissed my neck and
whispered, "Your hand…and my hand…forever and ever, Edward…it will always be
your hand in my hand. You're mine now, baby and I promise to always take good
care of you."

My lips parted and my breaths were shaky as I watched our hands move up my
cock and then his finger on mine as we slid them over the wetness dripping from the
tip. I moaned breathlessly, "Oh God Jasper…"

His lips stayed attached to my neck and shoulder as we spread around the
wetness and used that to add to the lubrication of his sweet honey nectar on my
hand. We moved our hands slowly together back down with firm but soft
movements. Up and down, with a twist of our wrists…I felt like my whole body was
on fire.

The burn was incredible…

I could feel him growing impossibly harder behind me and I couldn't help but arch
my back and rub up against him. He moaned against my neck, "Fuck…feels so
good…"
- 124 -
 My free hand reached up and back until it slid in his golden curls and pulled his
plump lips to mine. He moaned into the kiss as we continued working our hands up
and down my rigid cock. Small twists of the wrist and gentle squeezing over the
head as more of my own sticky sweetness leaked from the tip.

His free hand slid down my side and across my stomach until stroking my soft
bronze curls. Then his coarse fingers slid down further until I felt his warm hand
cupping my sack and rubbing it gently.

I moaned deeply into the kiss as both of his talented hands were now working my
body into a heated frenzy. My fingers tightened in his hair but I pulled away to
breathe. Our foreheads were together and we were staring into each other's eyes as
our shallow breaths washed over one another.

He whispered, "I love you, Edward."

And that was all it took. I felt everything in my body constrict tightly and then
just…explode.

"Ugh…oh fuck I love you too, Jay," I panted out as I came in thick, white spurts all
over both our hands. He continued moving our hands together over my cock, milking
me of every drop.

I finally just collapsed against his chest and he kissed my forehead and whispered,
"Fuck, Edward. That was the sexiest fuckin thing I've ever seen."

He removed his hand from my sack and grabbed my t-shirt. He rubbed it over my
now softening cock and cleaned me up. Then I watched as he brought on of his
fingers to his lips and his tongue flicked out to taste my nectar that still covered it. I
groaned and he smiled before taking his finger into his mouth and sucking it deeply
with a, "Mmm…"

Keep that up, Jay and we're going to go for round two…

He released his finger with a pop and smiled down at my wide eyed face, "Just as I
thought…you're fuckin delicious."

I attacked his mouth and I could taste myself on his tongue. I couldn't help but
wonder what he would taste like.

He was still hard as hell against my back and I broke free from the kiss and
whispered, "Let me touch you, Jay. Please"
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 He shook his head, "No, Edward. This was about you. I'll just go take a real quick
shower and take care of it."

I groaned, "Please, Jasper…please."

My hand slid down his bare chest and I started rubbing him through his pants. He
moaned as his head fell against the headboard. I whispered, "I just want to make
you feel as good as you made me feel."

His eyes locked onto mine and he appeared to be having an internal battle. I
quickly turned my body around and was on my knees in front of him. It was then
that I realized I was still very naked.

But, I felt completely comfortable with him so I couldn't bring myself to care. I
leaned forward and caught his lips with mine as I continued rubbing him softly
through his pants. But I wanted more…I needed to feel his skin.

I pulled away to look at him again and his hooded azure eyes were penetrating
mine. His lips were parted slightly as he panted in short, ragged breaths. I
whispered, "Please."

I watched his Adam's apple bob as he gulped and nodded. I couldn't help the
crooked smile that came to my face and he whispered, "So fuckin sexy…"

I grabbed both of his hands and pulled him up on his knees so that we were eye
level and face to face. We just stared at each other as my hands trailed down his
sides and I hooked my thumbs into his pajama pants and began pulling them down
over his perfect hips.

I couldn't help but look down as his cock sprang free. My breathing hitched and I
whispered, "Damn, Jay. And you thought I was big…"

I hadn't ever seen him before hard like this and Jasper was very long and very
thick. I watched a thin strand of his sweet nectar trail from the tip of his glistening
cock to his pajama pants as they went around his knees.

Now we were standing on our knees…face to face…chest to chest…cock to cock.

I brought my palm to my hand and licked it a few times before reaching down and
wrapping it around his length. He groaned and leaned into me, placing his head on
my shoulder and his arms around my neck.

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 My other arm went behind his back and pulled him closer as I began working my
wet hand up and down his thick shaft, swirling my thumb over his leaky slit and
pumping him slowly.

I could feel his heavy breathing against my neck with soft moans and whimpers.

I whispered, "You are so sexy, Jasper…and so beautiful…I can't wait to feel you
inside of me and me inside of you…completely connected in every way…"

I continued whispering against his ear as I stroked his long shaft. I pulled him as
close as I could get him and I felt the tip of his cock against my stomach as I pumped
him. I could feel the wetness as his tip was dripping with his sticky sweetness.

He tightened his arms around my neck and moaned, "Ugh…Edward…"

I whispered, "I love you, Jasper."

He groaned as I felt his shaft constrict in my hand and soon he was cumming on
my hand and on my stomach. He was whimpering, "Fuck…love you…oh fuck…I love
you too, Edward…"

I milked him slowly as he had done to me and when he was spent, I let go of his
shaft and grabbed my t-shirt to wipe us clean. He still held onto my neck tightly as
he was still trembling. I tossed the t-shirt to the floor and wrapped both my arms
around him.

We held each other like that for awhile and he eventually pulled away. His eyes
were sparkling as he kissed me softly and whispered, "Thank you, Edward. No one
has ever made me feel like that before."

I smiled, "No one has ever made me feel this way before either, Jay."

He gently pulled away and we were both sticky at this point. He whispered,
"Wanna take a quick shower and get cleaned up?"

I nodded and we threw our soiled clothes into the hamper. I found it funny that we
were both completely naked in front of each other but neither one of us seemed to
be uncomfortable.

He turned the shower on and we both stepped in. It was already late so we
decided it would be best to just clean ourselves quickly and avoid touching each
other.
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 A few minutes later, we were both dressed and snuggled in bed together. It didn't
take long until we were both sleeping soundly, as we were exhausted from tonight's
events.

I awoke to a knock on my door and my mom speaking, "Edward? Why is your door
locked?"

I jumped from bed, waking Jasper as I did it. I ran to the door and unlocked it,
"Um…I locked it last night when I was getting dressed while Jay was in the shower. I
must've forgot to unlock it. Sorry."

Please believe me…

She smiled, "Okay, sweetie. Well, it's time for your first day of school so you boys
wake up and come eat some breakfast. I made blueberry pancakes for Jasper and a
ham and cheese omelet for you. I know they're your favorites."

I smiled, "Thanks mom. We'll be down in a few minutes."

She turned and walked away and I shut the door. I looked over to Jasper who was
sitting up now and stretching. He mumbled, "Shit, man. We gotta be more careful."

I nodded, "Yeah…but at least it was locked and she didn't walk in on us asleep
together."

We got up and brushed our teeth before heading downstairs to breakfast. My dad
was reading the paper and my mom was pouring us some orange juice. My dad
smiled, "Good morning, boys. Are you all ready for your big day?"

I groaned, "Not really. I mean, who actually wants to be a freshman?"

Jasper chuckled as he poured syrup on his pancakes. My dad put the paper down
and laughed, "Oh I'm sure it won't be that bad."

If only you knew…

Then my mom sat down and joined us, "So, are you boys thinking about joining
any kind of clubs or sports this year?"

I laughed because the idea of me and sports was pretty funny. Jasper looked up

- 128 -
and smiled, "I dunno. I might try out for basketball or something. Edward, you
should go for the track team. You're really fast."

I shrugged, "Maybe. We'll see. I've got four advanced classes this year so I think I
want to see how much time those take before I make a commitment to something."

Now he groaned, "I can't believe the only class we have together is gym."

I sighed, "Yeah, that sucks."

My dad chided me, "Edward, 'sucks' is not appropriate talk at the breakfast table."

I smiled weakly, "Sorry, dad."

He laughed at my expression and said, "I guess it does kind of suck though."

Me and Jasper started giggling and finished our breakfast. Once we were done,
we went back upstairs to get dressed. Now, in the daytime, we were both back to
being shy so he went to the bathroom to change.

I pulled on a pair of dark jeans, a white t-shirt and a dark green button up shirt
over it. My breathing hitched when I saw him come out in a light pair of loose jeans
that hung on his hips and a baby blue t-shirt that hugged his body in all the right
places.

He smiled, "Damn, Eddie. How am I supposed to keep my hands off of you all day
when you look like that?"

I returned his dimpled smile with a crooked one and said, "I was thinking the
same thing."

We both went to the bathroom and tried to manage our hair as best we could.
Then we grabbed our backpacks and kissed one last time before leaving for school.

The walk to school was only about 15 minutes and we chatted on the way about
classes we were looking forward to and ones we weren't. Once we reached the
school, we saw a few of our guy friends hanging out in front.

Embry called out, "Hey J! Hey E! Where the hell have you guys been all summer?"

Jasper smiled, "Workin, man. What have you been up to?"

- 129 -
 We all walked in together and soon me and Jasper were at our lockers. At least
they were close together so we'd be able to see each other some. And we did have
lunch together so hopefully it wouldn't be too bad.

I was shoving my books for my first two periods in my book bag when Bella
walked up and smiled, "Hey Edward! How was your summer?"

God I hate this girl…

I put on my best fake smile, "Really good, Bella. How was yours?"

She started rambling on about something but I wasn't paying attention. All I could
see is Kelly walking up and grabbing Jasper's ass. I'm sure my face was red because
Bella asked, "Are you okay, Edward? You don't look so good."

I nodded, "Um…I'm fine. Back to school jitters I guess."

She again started rambling and I watched as Jasper turned around to face her
with a scowl on his face. She purred, "Hey Jazzy. So, I heard some pretty interesting
things about you this summer from Maria and I was wondering if they were true."

His face was starting to flush as he said, "First, please don't touch me. If I were to
just walk up to a random girl and grab her ass, that would be sexual harassment.
Second, I don't know what you've heard but coming from Maria, I'm sure it's not
good."

She giggled and whispered, "She said you were the best she ever had. Now you
know, Jazzy, that your reputation precedes you and trust me when I tell you that I
won't be the only girl this year who wants to see if it's true."

He glanced over at me and I tried to hide the hurt look in my eyes but he knows
me too well. I could tell he was really uncomfortable so I shut my locker and said
good bye to Bella. Then I walked over to Kelly and put on another fake smile, "Hi
Kelly. I'm so sorry but Jay is going to be working really hard this year on his grades
and I'm sure he doesn't need the distraction of random girls hanging all over him…"

Jasper smirked at my obvious jealousy and spoke, "He's right. I'm gonna try
concentrating on school this year and not girls so why don't you just pass that along
to the rest of the flock."

He shut his locker and we started walking away. Once we were far enough away,
he whispered, "Sorry Eddie but thanks for the save."
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 I smiled over at him, "Anytime."

We walked by his first class first so I said, "Um…see you in gym."

He gave me a weak smile and took a deep breath, "Yeah, later bab…um, buddy."
His face turned bright red and I couldn't help but laugh, "Later, pal."

I watched him smirk and walk into his class as three different skanks were
wrapped around him immediately. He flashed me an apologetic smile and I groaned
as I set off for my class.

And when I walked into first period Advanced Biology, I wanted to scream. There
sat Tanya and Maria.

Oh fucking hell…this year is going to suck!

- 131 -
 Chapter 8

Thanks so much for all the reviews. I've been a busy little thing today and
got another chapter done for you guys. Hope you enjoy!

Jasper's POV

I couldn't believe what happened last night with Eddie and me. I had to work to
keep the scene from playing in my head over and over again so I wouldn't walk
around all day with a woody. And I meant what I said about us making love for the
first time. As anxious as I was to get to that point, I was a little nervous too. I knew
we'd have to take our time, after all, I didn't want Edward to ever regret anything
we did together and I knew he wasn't ready to go that far yet.

Truth be known, I wasn't ready either. I had never been with a boy before and
although I really did want to feel Edward inside of me…I was a little scared too. I
mean, shit, the boy was already big as hell and Lord knows he would probably get
even bigger in the next few years.

I smiled inwardly at that thought as the little evil Jasper in my head thought about
what it would be like to take him into my mouth and taste his sweetness directly
from the source. I couldn't stop myself from tasting him last night…and fuck, he did
taste incredible. I wondered if I would be any good at it. I mean, I've gotten a ton of
blow jobs so I knew what I liked but would it be different giving one? At least one
thing I knew without a doubt…when it came to Edward, I would definitely swallow.

God when is this class going to be over…

I was in my first period English class. The teacher wasn't doing much today, just
basic introductions to what we'd be going over this year. I figured, fuck it, I might as
well take some notes. I sure as hell didn't want to be away from Edward for the next
four years so I thought that maybe if I did actually really try to do well this year,
maybe next year I could get in the advanced classes too so we could be together.

I knew I was smart enough, I just had never really put forth the effort…but
Edward was worth the effort. Then my mind began to wander past high school. I had
no doubt that he would go to college. I had never thought I would go but I wanted to
be with him and I wanted to be good for him so maybe college could be a possibility.
But, if I were to want to go to college, I would definitely have to get some kind of
scholarship.

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 Shit, I really am going to have to work my ass off…

The three girls that had attached themselves to me when I walked in, Kara,
Meghan, and Lisa, were sitting with one behind me and the other two to the side.
They had been trying last year to hook up with me but I was with Maria…and I
didn't cheat. They were pretty pissed when I blew them off this morning but seemed
to have gotten over it quickly.

I felt fingers running through my hair and I turned to Kara, "Look, Kara…I'm
really not trying to be rude but I'm just not interested, okay? Now, please leave my
hair alone."

Get a fuckin clue…

She sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. I turned back to
the teacher and kept taking notes. Luckily, they left me alone for the rest of the
class and as soon as the bell rang I bolted to my locker, hoping to see Edward.

I waited for as long as I could before reluctantly grabbing my book for my math
class and making my way to it.

I walked in and luckily, Embry and Seth were there. I sat down by them and we
caught up a little. But when the class started, I paid attention and hoped the time
would go by quickly.

Once the bell rang, I bolted again to my locker to see Edward standing in front of
his with a scowl on his beautiful face. I walked up, "Hey, man, what's wrong?"

He smiled weakly at me, "Oh, hey, Jay. Nothing, don't worry about it."

I spoke quietly to him, "Tell me, Edward."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "It's nothing, really. Tanya and Maria
are in my Biology class."

I grimaced, "Oh. Sorry."

Now he smiled at me, "Why are you sorry? You didn't make the schedule. Look,
it's not that big of a deal. But I'll tell you one thing, Maria is definitely not over you. I
think you hurt her ego when you dumped her and she seems bound and determined
to win you back."

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 I rolled my eyes, "She'll get over it. What about Tanya? Did she give you any shit?"

He snickered, "The woman is insane. I'm worried about finding dead rabbits in the
stew pot, if you know what I mean."

I laughed, "That bad?"

He smiled, "Yeah. She kept saying how we were meant to be together and she
would wait until I figured it out."

He shuddered and I laughed, "Look on the bright side, Edward…just three more
years and they will graduate."

He groaned and let his head fall to the locker with a thud.

Everyone was shuffling off for their next class and I sighed, "Well, I guess I'll see
you at lunch." My next two classes were on the other side of the building so I
wouldn't be able to make it back to my locker.

Edward smiled at me, "Okay, see you later."

I took off and looked back at him one last time before rounding the corner. He was
looking at me with that crooked grin and since no one was around…I mouthed, "I
love you."

He blushed and mouthed, "Love you too."

My heart was soaring again as I walked into History. I sighed in relief when I saw
Paul. He waved me over and I sat down, "Hey, man! How the hell are you?"

Paul smiled, "Good, Jay. Hey, this is my friend Jacob."

I smiled at the nice looking dark skinned boy. His shiny black hair was loose and
flowing down his muscular back.

Wow…he's pretty hot…got nothing on my man though…

Jacob smiled shyly, "Hi. Nice to meet you."

I smiled back, "You too, man. You new here?"

He shook his head, "Not really, I mean I'm new to the school but I've lived on the
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rez my whole life. I just finally convinced my dad to let me come to school here."

The class started and, again, I actually paid attention. At the end of the class, we
all chatted a bit. Jacob seemed like a nice guy. We had the next class together, and
we talked a little more while we walked there.

We walked in and Bella smiled at me, "Hi Jasper! Um…I was wondering if you
know if anything is wrong with Edward? He seemed kind of out of it this morning."

Nothing wrong with him, he just hates you…

Edward really didn't like Bella because she tormented him when he was young.
I'm pretty sure she did it because she actually liked him and was afraid of anyone
finding out. I could tell by the way she always tried to talk to him. I did feel kinda
bad for her…I mean, she was just a stupid kid back then and she obviously cared
about him.

I smiled, "I'm sure he's fine, Bella. Hey, have you met Jacob?"

She shook her head and looked to the boy next to me who had a red tint to his
dark cheek, "Um…hi, I'm Bella."

He smiled at her, "Jacob. It's nice to meet you, Bella."

"Class, please take your seats so we can begin," Mr. Porter was beginning the
class so we shuffled to our seats.

This was my Spanish class so I didn't really have to pay much attention. I was
already fluent in Spanish and could write and read it, so I just took this class for an
easy A. So I let my mind drift to Edward…

Man, I hope Maria and Tanya don't fuck with him too much…

I made sure to keep my thoughts G rated so I wouldn't have to worry about boner
problems in class. I looked over at Jake who was eyeing Bella and trying to do it
inconspicuously. I chuckled and he turned red when he saw that I noticed what he
was doing.

Once the class ended, Jacob, Bella, and I walked to lunch together. When we
walked in the cafeteria, I saw Edward sitting with Ben and Angela. We quickly went
through the lunch line and made our way to the table. I invited Jacob to sit with us
and figured Bella would, since Angela was her best friend.
- 135 -
 We all sat down and Edward had saved the seat next to him for me. A second
later, Paul, Embry and Seth joined us.

"Hey Eddie, this is Jacob. He's new to the school."

Edward smiled at Jacob and said, "Hi, Jacob. It's nice to meet you."

Jacob smiled back, "You too."

Bella and Angela got up to go get some water and Jacob nudged me, "Hey, man,
do you know if Bella is seeing anyone?"

I shook my head, "I don't think so. Why? You interested?"

He turned red and nodded, "Yeah. She seems pretty nice."

I smiled, "She is. Go for it, man."

He shook his head, "No. I think I'll give it a little more time."

We spent the rest of the lunch period just chatting about classes and what we did
over the summer. I found out that Jacob's dad owned a garage down in La Push and
he was a big motorcycle enthusiast. I told him that I really wanted a bike and he said
that he could help me build one if I was interested. I still had some money that I had
saved from working this summer so I took him up on the offer.

We made plans to get together on Saturday and see what we could find.

Once lunch was done, Edward and I walked back to our lockers and talked a little.
He seemed to be in a better mood. His next class was a music class so he was
excited about it.

Luckily, the next two classes flew by and I was heading to the last class of the day,
gym, with Edward. I secretly wondered how awkward things would be once we had
to start changing for the class but today we didn't have to worry about it. We sat
together on the bleachers as the teacher went on about what we'd be doing this
year. At the end of the class he handed out flyers on all the sports programs they
were offering.

Finally, the bell rang and school was over. Edward and I walked to our lockers
together and gathered what we needed.

- 136 -
 As we were walking out of the building, I spotted Maria walking over to me from
the parking lot.

"Hey Jazzy. I haven't seen you all day. I was wondering if we could talk for a
minute?"

I groaned internally but figured it would be better to just get this over with, "Sure,
Maria. I'll be right back, Edward."

He gave me a weak nod.

Maria and I walked off to a lone spot and she started, "So, I was thinking about
what happened between us and I was wondering if you've come to your senses yet?"

I sighed, "Maria…look, I'm really sorry about what I did. I shouldn't have slept
with you because I was planning on breaking up with you. You kind of put me on the
spot but I should've said no. But I have no intention, ever, of getting back together
with you and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop ranting to your girlfriends about my
'fuckin' abilities. I mean, Jesus, woman, don't you have any shame?"

Oops…probably should've left out the last part…she looks really pissed again

She screamed at me, "What kind of guy are you?! You just fuck girls then dump
them! You're a fucking asshole!"

Great, now everyone's looking…keep it together, Jay…

I tried to speak quietly so people would stop looking, "Maria, don't act like you're
all innocent here. You came to my house and practically begged me to fuck you so
don't act like I'm the bad guy."

She hauled her hand back and smacked me hard across the cheek. It stung a little.

I just sighed as she screamed, "I don't know who the fuck you think you are,
Jasper! I heard that line of bullshit about wanting to focus on school this year! What
are you thinking? You may hang out with the boy wonder over there but you are
nothing but poor white trash! You'll never be smart and you'll never be worth
anything but a good fuck! And I'll tell you one more thing…you better watch your
fucking back because I've got four older brothers who are going to be itching to
stomp the shit out of you, you fucking worthless piece of shit!"

With that she turned and stomped away. Everyone was staring at me now and I
- 137 -
just groaned and shook my head as I walked back over to Edward who was waiting
for me.

He sighed, "Are you okay, Jay?"

I nodded and spoke quietly, "Yeah, man, let's just get the fuck outta here."

We were half way out of the parking lot when Jacob and Seth came running over
to us, "Hey guys! Wait up!"

We stopped and they fell in line beside us, "Jesus, Jay! What the hell was her
problem?"

I looked over at Seth and just shook my head, "Psycho ex girlfriend, man, what
can I say."

We walked for a little while and they finally broke free from us to go home. I was
really relieved to get to his house. I figured I would have to eventually go home,
since I had only actually been there twice all summer, but today wasn't the day. At
least the good thing was that I had managed to avoid my father's visit.

We walked in and greeted Esme. We talked a little about our first day before
heading off to Edward's room so she could start dinner and we could start our
homework.

The second the door closed, I grabbed Edward around the waist and pulled him to
me. His arms went around my neck and we just hugged for a few minutes. I closed
my eyes and just breathed him in and let the warmth of his body against mine heal
the little wounds that Maria had managed to pick open. Bitch.

Eventually he pulled away and gave me a soft kiss and whispered, "Don't listen to
what that bitch had to say, Jasper. You're very smart and you're incredible in every
way. I love you so much and I don't want her stupid little tantrum to upset you."

I smiled at him, "You're right, Edward. I must not be that bad cuz I got the best
guy in the whole school to fall in love with me."

He blushed and then we heard his mother coming so we quickly separated. I sat
on his couch and started pulling out my books. His mom knocked and Edward told
her to come in.

"Hey boys, I have to run to the market real fast to pick up some chives for the
- 138 -
soup. I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay, mom."

She shut the door and Edward jumped up and locked it.

He gave me an evil little grin before walking over and pushing my books out of my
lap. He straddled me on the couch and smiled, "I have been dying to kiss you all
damn day." My arms went around his back and he leaned down to press his soft lips
to mine.

And everything just melted away. All I could feel was the love radiating from him.
His tongue slid across my lips and I parted them immediately for him. He kissed me
deep and I couldn't help the soft moan that fell from my lips.

I shifted to the side and laid him down on the couch, never breaking our kiss. I
laid on top of him but kept my weight off while we kissed. Eventually, I pulled away
so we could breathe. I laid my head on his shoulder and he ran his fingers softly
through my hair.

I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Edward was shaking me
softly, "Wake up, Jay. My mom just got back."

I raised up groggily and kissed him once more before standing up. I stretched and
said, "Sorry for falling asleep on you, babe."

He smiled, "Now why on earth would you be sorry for that?"

I smiled back, "I was probably crushing you."

He laughed, "You weren't crushing me. I happen to like it when you fall asleep on
me like that."

I grinned, "Maybe one day we'll be able to really fall asleep together and not have
to worry about anything."

He went over and unlocked his door and turned to me, "I love you, Jasper. One day
we will be able to be together without worrying about anything. I promise."

We went down and helped Esme finish dinner and soon Carlisle was home. We sat
down and ate baked potato soup, salad, and baked bread. We talked a little about
our day and then I volunteered us to do the dishes so Esme could relax. I figured it
- 139 -
was the least I could do since I ate here almost every night.

After dinner, Edward and I went upstairs to start on our homework. I pulled out
my phone to call Peter and check on him since I hadn't talked to him in a few days.

"Hello?"

"Hey Peter. It's Jasper. I just called to see how you guys were doing."

He laughed, "We're doing alright, son. How was your first day of school?"

We talked for a few minutes and I told him I'd come out on Friday after school to
help him with some chores he needed done. Edward said he'd go with me.

We spread our books out on his bed and laid down to get started. We didn't have
much so we finished pretty quickly. I was staring at him and he looked up and
smiled, "Is something on your mind, Jay?"

I smiled, "You, of course."

He laughed and I couldn't help but ask him, "Hey Edward? Do you think that if I
work real hard this year that maybe next year I could get in your advanced classes
with you?"

His face lit up, "Of course, Jasper. You would do that for me?"

I reached out and grabbed his hand, "Yeah. I don't wanna go the next four years
without you in school. And besides, I was thinking that maybe, one day, we'd be able
to go to college together but I'll need to get a scholarship or something. Do you ever
think about the future?"

He turned to his side and brought my hand to his lips. He kissed it softly and
smiled, "I think about it all the time. I think about us in college together, sharing an
apartment off campus. I think about our first home together and growing old
together. I know it sounds silly because we're so young but I just can't imagine not
being with you. I love you so much, Jay. You're a part of me and I couldn't stand to
live without you."

I smiled, "It's not silly at all. I feel the same way. I'm sure things aren't going to be
easy these next few years, Edward but we have to promise to stick together no
matter what. I can't live without you either. I want you forever and it doesn't matter
how young I am, I know we're meant to be together forever." Then I blushed and
- 140 -
laughed, "God, do I sound like Tanya?"

He started laughing, "No, you most certainly don't sound like that crazy chick.
Don't worry, Jay. We can handle anything we have to face as long as we do it
together."

I leaned over and kissed his soft lips, "Love you, Edward."

"Mmm…love you too, Jay."

The week flew by at school and soon Friday came. Maria had been bad mouthing
me to every girl in school so at least, most of them were leaving me alone, except for
the extreme skanks who were even more intrigued and the few chicks who wanted
to be the one to change my evil ways. I secretly thanked Maria for making most of
the girls leery of me. Little did they all know, it was a sweet, innocent boy who made
me change my evil ways.

I got to know Jacob a little better and really liked him. I thought he would end up
becoming a really good friend. We shared a lot of the same interests in music and
cars and motorcycles. Edward seemed to get along well with him but they didn't
have any classes together so they only saw each other at lunch. Edward had gotten a
little jealous when I told him that we had made plans for Saturday but I invited him
to come and he said he might. Then I told him that Jacob was crushing hard on Bella
and then Edward was fine with it. I mean, seriously, how many gay guys did he think
there would be in this dinky ass high school.

We were in the last class of the day, gym, and we were running laps. Edward
looked fuckin hot in his gym uniform, weird I know, but very true. Those shorts
really showed off his long legs nicely. We avoided each other in the locker room and
showers so we wouldn't have to deal with any problems that might, um, arise.

The day was finally over and we were making our escape to Peter's house tonight.
He had said we could just stay the night if we wanted and Edward's parents agreed.
His mom was gonna drop us off.

So when we were walking out of the school grounds and I saw four very big
Hispanic guys in a car across the street, I turned to Edward who hadn't seen them
and I knew I needed to get him out of there. I lit a cigarette and said, "Um, hey
Edward? Will you do me a favor?"

- 141 -
 He smiled over at me, "Sure, Jay."

"Would you mind running back into the school and grabbing my history book outta
my locker? I just lit this and I don't wanna put it out."

He looked a little confused but agreed and turned back and ran into the school. I
knew I had to get this over quick before he came back. I didn't want him getting
involved in my shit.

I walked over to the car and took a drag from my cigarette, then I exhaled and
said, "You guys just gonna stay in the car all night or are you gonna do what you
came to do?"

They all got out of the car and I took another drag to prepare myself. This was
gonna hurt pretty bad, they were big and obviously not in school anymore. One of
them spoke, "You're pretty ballsy for someone whose about to get their ass kicked."

I took another drag and said, "Yeah, well…"

Then I flicked my cigarette at his face. It distracted him enough for me to get at
least one good punch in before they jumped me. Before I knew it, I was on the
ground being kicked by all four of them.

They got me pretty good and I blacked out. When I opened my eyes, Edward was
leaning over me, his eyes glistening, "Thank God you're awake."

Then I felt the pain. I groaned and looked around.

Fuck. I'm in a hospital.

Carlisle came over to me next, "Son, can you hear me?"

I nodded and tried to clear my throat to speak. My voice was very gruff, "What
happened?"

Edward handed me a cup of water and I took a drink. His voice was shaky when
he spoke, "Maria's brothers jumped you after school. When I came out from getting
your history book, they had you on the ground in the middle of the street. Jacob and
Bella were walking out with me and we ran to you. Bella called her dad and they
jumped in the car and took off. Chief Swan went to their house and arrested them. I
mean, Jesus Christ, they were all over 18."

- 142 -
 I tried to sit up and groaned again.

"Take it easy, son. You've got a broken rib, a broken wrist, and all kinds of scrapes
and bruises. I'm going to go get you some more pain medicine. You'll be in here
tonight but you should be able to come home tomorrow." Carlisle left the room and
Edward and I were alone.

I watched his beautiful face as tears slid down his cheeks, "I'm so sorry, Edward."

He sniffled, "Why are you sorry? Why did you tell me to leave, Jay? I could've
helped you. Why didn't you just come back in the school and wait for them to leave?"

"Edward, I deserved it. I dumped their baby sister not 30 seconds after I pulled
my dick out of her. And besides, I knew it was coming and just wanted to get it over
with. I don't run and I don't hide. I wasn't going to spend the whole year always
lookin over my shoulder and I sure as hell wasn't gonna get you involved in my
bullshit. It's over now. Maria got her revenge and I'll heal. Please don't cry,
Edward."

He wiped his eyes and ran his fingers down my cheek. I sighed and leaned into his
soft touch. Everything on my body hurt except where he was touching me. He
whispered, "I love you, Jasper."

I smiled a little but it kinda hurt, "Love you too babe."

Carlisle walked in and he pulled his hand away. Carlisle gave me some pain meds
and I was out again.

The next time I woke up, it was night time. I could see through the blinds at the
dark sky and the full moon. It was dark in my room. I heard snoring and I looked
down to see Edward sitting in a chair with his head laying on my bed. He was
asleep. I ran my fingers through his hair with my right hand, since my left was all
fucked up. He stirred a minute before lifting his head and looking up at me through
puffy eyes.

I smiled as best I could, "Edward? What are you still doing here?"

He yawned, "My dad said I could stay. He went home to get a few hours sleep but
will be back in the morning to try and get you discharged."

"Babe, you didn't have to stay. You should be at home in your comfy bed getting
some good sleep."
- 143 -
 He shook his head, "No, I should be wherever you are."

He stood up and stretched, "Oh, Peter called. I told him what happened. He was
going to come down but I told him not to leave Charlotte, that we would take care of
you and that you would call him tomorrow."

I nodded, "Thanks, man."

He yawned again, "I'm gonna go grab a coke from the vending machine. Want
something?"

"Yeah, coke's fine."

He left and returned with two cokes and a cup of ice and a straw for me. We
talked a little while before we both started getting sleepy again. The nurse came in
and gave me some more pain meds and told Edward about the pull out bed in the
closet. He gave me a soft kiss and I winced a bit. Apparently my lip was busted and I
had a pretty good black eye. That's what pissed me off most. Those fuckers messed
my face up and now I wouldn't be able to kiss Edward right until my lip healed.

Edward then kissed my forehead and whispered, "Get some sleep, Jay. I love you.
Good night."

I was barely coherent at this point but I remember telling him I loved him.

The next morning, I woke up to a really fuckin annoying voice.

"Jasper Whitlock! What the hell did you do now? I haven't seen you in a month and
I just knew you were either in jail or a damn hospital!"

I groaned and didn't bother opening my eyes, "That's excellent parenting, mom.
Glad you were so worried about me."

She huffed, "Don't get smart with me, Jasper! I just came to see if you were okay
and you insult me!"

I opened my eyes and looked at the woman that I got my hair and eyes from, "I'm
fine, mama. You can go away with a clean conscience. Edward's parents and Peter
have been looking out for me. I'm not your problem anymore."

Edward now woke up and he sat up and glared at my mother.

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 She came over and sat on the bed with me, "Jasper, I'm trying to do the right thing
here, okay? You didn't come with instructions or anything ya know and I was only 15
when I had you. I know I suck as a mom but I'm doing the best I can do. If that's not
good enough then I don't know what to tell you."

I sighed, "It's fine mom. Really, everything's fine. Just go home and don't worry."

She reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle, "Here, baby, I'm gonna give
you some pain pills cuz I know these asshole doctors won't give you the good stuff."

I furrowed my brows, "No, mom. I'm sure whatever Dr. Cullen gives me will be
fine."

She laughed, "Nonsense, Jasper now take the god damn pills, baby boy. In fact, I
have half a pack of cigarette's left. I'll just leave them for you and put the pills in
there. You call me if you need any more, okay?"

I sighed, "Yeah, mom."

She leaned over and kissed my forehead, "Alright, son. Get some rest. Love you."

"Love you too." And I guess in some weird way, I did. It was a pretty twisted
relationship we had but I still knew I was really better off without her in my life.

She got up and walked out. I turned to Edward, "Hey, man, will you get these pills
and get rid of them. I don't need that kind of temptation."

He smiled and walked over to me. He just looked at me for a moment with a
beautiful smile on his face, "I'm really proud of you, Jay."

I smiled back, "Then it's worth it."

He poured the pills into his hand and took them to the bathroom to flush them.
Then Peter walked in, "Well hell son, you look like shit!"

I laughed a little, "Thanks old man, but I still look better than you."

He chuckled and pulled up a chair next to me. Edward walked out of the bathroom
and pulled up a chair on the other side, "Hey Peter."

Peter smiled, "Hey there son. Now while I have you two alone, I wanna talk to
you."
- 145 -
 We nodded and he spoke in a quiet voice, "Now you boys know that me and
Charlotte have no problem with you being together and whatnot. So, if you need a
place to…what's that word you young folks say…chill or whatever, you're welcome
at our house. But there's no hanky panky at my place and I think you boys should
seriously consider telling Carlisle. He's a good man and I've known him a long time.
I think he'd understand."

I laughed, "No hanky panky, huh?"

He smirked, "Smartass."

Edward was bright red. Just then, Carlisle walked in. Peter and him talked for a
little while and Edward whispered to me, "God, that was embarrassing."

I laughed, "Yeah, sorry about that."

He just smiled with his cute little red cheeks.

Peter got ready to leave and came over and gave my hand a gentle squeeze,
"Think about what I said, son."

I smiled, "I will, Peter."

He left and Carlisle got my discharge paperwork ready and I was finally getting
ready to leave. I was sore as hell by the time we got to Edward's house. Edward
helped me up the front steps and I was met by Esme as soon as I walked in.

She put her hands on my cheeks with tears in her eyes, "Oh Jasper! I want to give
you a hug so badly but I don't want to hurt you, son. Now, I've gotten everything
ready. You'll be staying in Edward's room with him. Let's get you upstairs and into
bed."

She leaned in and kissed my cheek. She whispered, "I love you so much, Jasper."

Great, now my eyes were filled with tears. This is how a mom should be. I
whispered, "I love you too, Esme."

They helped me upstairs and I desperately wanted a shower. Carlisle had to go

back to the hospital and Esme went to go make me some breakfast and get my
prescription filled.

Edward helped me strip down and into the shower. I had to keep my wrist out of
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the water and couldn't get the bandages on my ribs wet. I was surprised when I felt
him slide in behind me. I turned my head and he smiled, "Everyone's gone so don't
worry."

I smiled back, "I wasn't worrying."

He smirked and grabbed the nozzle from the shower. "Lean your head back, Jay."

I did as he said and I felt his soft fingers pulling through my wet curls. It was
heavenly as he poured a little shampoo into his hand and began massaging my scalp.
He used the shower nozzle to rinse it out and then he grabbed a wash cloth and
began washing my body.

I sighed, "That feels so good…"

He laughed, "Yeah I can see that."

I was half hard from him washing me and I smirked, "Let me wash you from head
to toe and see what happens."

He smiled, "Another time, Jay."

He finished washing and rinsing me. Then he turned off the water and grabbed us
some towels. He helped to dry me off and get me dressed in a pair of sweats and a
t-shirt.

He helped me get into bed and then Esme walked in with a tray full of food and
my prescription. She sat down on the bed with me and Edward sat on the other side.
We ate and talked and then I took my meds. She took the tray and kissed my
forehead, "If you need anything, dear, just let me know. Now get some rest and get
better."

I smiled, "Okay. Thanks Esme."

She just smiled and left the room. I laid down and Edward laid next to me. He had
purple bags under his eyes and I knew that he hadn't slept well the night before. I
fell asleep and dreamed about telling Carlisle and Esme about our relationship. I
dreamt that they were happy for us and still loved me like a son. I dreamt about
going off to college with Edward and being together and happy.

I was in and out of it all day. Edward was always there in the room with me. He
was either lying in bed with me watching TV or reading. I remember eating again
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sometime that day. I remember Carlisle and Esme checking in on me a few times.
But the last time I woke up, it was to that damn annoying voice again.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 3:30 in the morning and I heard my
mom downstairs yelling. My heart dropped. Edward woke up and looked at me, "Is
that your mom?"

I nodded, "Yeah. What the hell is goin on?"

We got out of bed and he helped me downstairs. I stopped on the steps when I saw
her. She was completely wasted and yelling at Carlisle who was in his robe and
pajamas, "He's my son and I'm taking him out of this shit town!"

Carlisle was trying to maintain his calm, "Look, Linda, it's 3:30 in the morning and
he just got out of the hospital. I'm not letting you take that boy anywhere."

I managed to croak out, "Mom?"

She looked over at me with wild bloodshot eyes, "Jasper! We're leaving, baby boy!
Come on and get your stuff!"

I shook my head, "What? Where are we going?"

She huffed, "I don't know yet, baby boy. We're just gonna get in the car and see
where we end up. It'll be fun just like always."

I couldn't help the tears that started falling from my eyes, "I don't wanna go
nowhere, mama. I wanna stay here. It's not fun for me…"

She scowled, "Get your god damn ass in the car, Jasper! Now!"

Edward stood in front of me and shook his head, "He's not going anywhere…"

Then Carlisle looked at her, "Let's just go in the kitchen and talk. The boys need
their rest…"

She pushed past him and came at me but then Esme jumped in front of her and
pushed her back, "You will lay a finger on that boy over my dead body. Now I
suggest you calm down and we can go speak about this in the kitchen, Linda but you
will not be taking Jasper anywhere. Try to fight me on this and you'll find out I'm not
as prim and proper as you think."

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 I was shocked. Edward was too judging by the way his mouth was hanging open.
Carlisle chuckled a little at his wife and looked at my mom, "What will it be? We can
go discuss this like adults or you can just leave now."

She sighed and threw up her hands in defeat, "Fine! He's your fuckin problem
now! I never fuckin wanted him anyway! I should've gotten a god damn abortion
when I had the chance!"

I couldn't hold it in anymore and I pushed past Edward and stood face to face with
her as the tears stung my eyes, "Then why the fuck did you take me away from
Grandma?! Why did you drag me out of the god damn house?!"

She looked like a demon as she glared at me through soulless eyes, "Because she
loved you and I wanted to hurt her! I figured I'd give you back once I taught her a
lesson but the old cunt died and I was stuck with you! Why do you think I never gave
a shit about what happened to you?! You are just a reminder of everything that's
fucked up in my life and I'm glad you fucking hurt you little bastard! I wish one of
those fucking pussies I was with just finished you off and then I'd be done with you
forever and finally get my fucking life back!"

I was crying hysterically at this point. I guess I always knew these things but to
finally hear them from her mouth was too much to take. My knees went weak and I
started to fall to the ground but I felt Edward's arms around me and we sank
together.

Esme grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the front door. Carlisle opened
it and said, "If you ever try to contact him again, I will make sure you spend time
behind bars. Don't ever come back here."

Esme shoved her out and slammed the door.

A moment later, I felt all three of them help me up and over to the couch. They
laid me down with Edward at my feet and my head in Esme's lap. She ran her
fingers through my hair as I cried. She kept whispering, "Shh…it's okay, dear. As
long as there is air in my lungs, no one will ever hurt you again. You're my son, now.
I love you and you're a good boy. Everything's going to be okay, son."

Carlisle came over and sat on the coffee table in front of me, "I didn't know it was
so bad, Jasper. You boys didn't tell me how bad it was. I could've helped you, son.
But don't worry about anything. You're a part of this family. You have been since the
day you stepped foot through that door. We love you, son."

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 Edward was rubbing my feet but kept quiet as he cried softly. I eventually cried
myself back to sleep.

- 150 -
 Chapter 9

So yeah, I twisted my ankle and stayed at home from work so what better
way to pass the day than write another chapter for you guys! BTW - check
out the story 'Gasping For Air' by Wolfenmoon1313. It's an E/J story and
Jasper is adorable in this one but I will warn you that it deals with very dark
issues of abuse and it's detailed so you've been warned.

Thanks so much for all the reviews! I even got a marriage proposal! How
freakin awesome is that? LOL :)

Edward's POV

Jasper fell asleep with his head in my mom's lap. I fell asleep rubbing his feet. I
woke up to my dad gently shaking me, "Wake up, son. Let's get you boys to bed."

I nodded and yawned as I got out from underneath him. My dad slipped his arms
underneath Jasper and I helped because he was pretty heavy and really tall. We
carried him upstairs and tucked him into my bed. My mom kissed his forehead and
gave me a hug before they left the room and shut the door.

I knew they would be back to check on him so I kissed his cheek and whispered
that I loved him before turning over and trying to sleep. I pulled the blanket up to
my chin then slid my arm over to him underneath the covers and held his good hand.

My heart ached for Jasper. How much was he going to have to suffer?

No more…he's here now permanently.

I smiled at that thought.

Crap. I hope my mom and dad don't make him stay in a different room…

I giggled a little at the thought that we were kind of like brothers now. I thought
back about everything that happened in such a short time.

I wonder if I could talk some girls into kicking Maria's ass…but, she would
probably just come after Jasper again. If I was a girl, I'd beat her ass. Bitch. Thank
God his worthless mother is out of his life now. I swear I'm going to spend the rest
of my life showing Jasper just how special and wonderful and strong he is. I've never

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known someone as strong as he is.

And he wants to do better in school so that we can be together. I hope everything

that's happened doesn't set him back. He's so smart, I know he can do well and I'm
going to help him in any way possible. He's trying so hard to do right. He's chasing
the demons away. He may not really have wings but that doesn't mean he's not an
angel.

I finally drifted off to sleep. I dreamt of our future together.

I woke up the next morning to my mom coming in with breakfast. She whispered,
"Good morning, sweetheart."

I smiled, "Morning, mom."

She sat on the edge of the bed and sat the tray of food down on my nightstand.
She gently shook Jasper's shoulder and whispered, "Wake up, darling."

He stirred and opened his eyes with a groan. His eyes were still puffy and red. His
poor eye was swollen and bruised and his busted bottom lip was swollen. He was
still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My mom ran her fingers through his
hair and leaned down to kiss his forehead, "Good morning, son."

He smiled as best he could and threw his arms around her. He started crying
again but softly this time and she rubbed his back. He whispered through broken
sobs, "I'm sorry for dragging you into my messed up life…"

She pulled back and looked at him with tears in her eyes, "Nonsense, Jasper. This
is not your fault and I never want to hear another apology fall from your lips. We are
so blessed to have you in our lives. You're one of the very best things to happen to
this family, sweetie, and I am going to keep drilling that into that stubborn little
head of yours until you believe it. I love you, darling. Now, no more tears. Today is a
new beginning for all of us. You have a new mom and dad, we have a new son, and
Edward has a new brother."

I cringed but thankfully she didn't see it.

He looked up at her, "Thank you for sticking up for me last night."

She smiled, "You sweet, darling boy…I would fight to the death for you. For either
of you…" she reached over and grabbed my hand…"my two amazing boys."

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 She wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed his forehead. He smiled, "Thank you,
Esme. I love you all so much. I'm so lucky to have you."

She smiled, "We're the lucky ones. Now, come on, son, let's get you fed and get
your medicine in you so you can feel better."

He nodded and she placed the tray on his lap. She brought a plate for me too so
we began eating. She said she'd be back in a little while to check in and I told her I'd
bring the tray down when we were finished.

Once she left, I turned to Jasper and smiled, "Are you doing okay, babe?"

He nodded and sighed, "Yeah. Yesterday was a pretty fucked up day, huh?"

I reached out and grabbed his hand. I brought it to my lips and kissed his bruised
knuckled gently, "Yeah, but today will be better. And tomorrow will be better than
today. Things are going to be okay now, Jay. You're here, you're safe, and you are
very much loved."

He smiled over at me, "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, bro."

He laughed, "Yeah, that's kinda creepy, huh?"

I laughed now too, "A little, but I don't care. I wouldn't change anything."

He smiled, "Me neither, darlin."

Once we were finished, Jasper fell back asleep and I carried our tray downstairs. I
heard something in the garage and I walked out there to check on it. I opened the
door and saw my dad. He was in his pajamas with his boxing gloves on and he was
hitting the punching bag.

I walked out and wrapped my arms around the bag to hold it for him. "You okay,
dad?"

He sighed and let his arms fall to his side. He was sweaty and panting. I handed
him the towel sitting on the weight bench. He sat down and wiped his forehead,
"Yeah, son, I'm okay. Just working out some aggression. You boys doing alright this
morning?"

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 I nodded, "Yeah, we ate and Jasper took his medicine and fell back asleep."

He looked up at me through blood shot eyes, "I've seen bad people in my life, son,
but never have I seen someone as evil as that woman. You should've told me,
Edward. I knew they struggled financially and his mother was a bit flighty but you
boys never let on how bad she really was. I could've helped him years ago. I just
hate that he's going through this."

I sat down next to him and ran my hand through my hair, "I'm sorry, dad. I
should've said something, I just didn't know what to do."

He put his arm around me and leaned his head against mine, "Never be afraid to
tell me anything, son. I can't guarantee I won't get upset but I can guarantee I will
always do my best to help you in any way possible. I know I work a lot and I'm not
around as much as I should be but I am always a phone call away. Nothing comes
before you boys…you know that, right?"

I nodded, "I know, dad. Thanks for everything."

He nodded and sighed, "Well, I have to get ready for work. I'm going to go check
in on Jasper before I leave. Do you need anything before I go?"

I shook my head, "No, we're okay, dad."

He ruffled my hair and stood up. He turned back to me once he reached the door
and he had a thoughtful expression on his face, "Hey Edward? You boys are really
very close, huh?"

Uh oh…does he know something?

I nodded, "Yeah, dad. He's my best friend and now he's like my brother."

He nodded, "Yeah. Well, if there's anything you ever need to tell me, son,
remember that I'll always be here and I'll always love you both, no matter what. And
I think your mother is going to turn the guest room into his new bedroom so maybe
you can help her out today. Boy, your mother is a hellcat sometimes. I thought she
might rip the arms right off that woman and start beating her with them."

I laughed, "Yeah, I've never seen mom so angry before. Remind me to never make
her mad."

He laughed, "Well, I love you son. Think about what I said, okay?"
- 154 -
 I nodded, "I will, dad. I love you too. Have a good day at work."

He nodded and headed into the house.

Maybe he does know…if he does, it doesn't sound like he's mad or upset about it.
Maybe I'll talk to Jay later about what Peter said.

I made my way upstairs and decided to take a shower. I let the hot water run
down my back and my thoughts began drifting to the night before school.

His hand and my hand…so strong and warm…so much love from his hands…

I looked down and saw that I was hard now and beginning to ache. I hadn't tried
to do anything since that night but I guess I was about to find out if it worked. I
lathered up my hand and reached down. I wrapped my hand around my swollen cock
and placed my other hand against the wall. I slowly started pumping myself, swirling
my thumb around the head and spreading the wetness there.

A soft moan escaped my lips. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander…

Jasper sitting behind me, his hard cock throbbing against my back…the slow
bluesy beat of the music in one ear and his shallow breaths and moans in my other
one. His slow southern drawl whispering of his love.

"Your hand…and my hand…forever and ever, Edward…it will always be your hand
in my hand. You're mine now, baby and I promise to always take good care of you."

His other hand sliding down my body and to my sack. Gently rubbing and tugging
while our hands worked over me.

Both of us naked…on our knees, face to face. His beautiful blue eyes staring into
mine, hooded with desire and love. His arms around my neck and the feel of his
hard, thick cock in my hand and against my stomach. His breathless moans against
the crook of my neck and him just holding onto me for dear life as I pumped his
beautiful hard cock. The feel of his body trembling as I brought him pleasure. Every
stroke and every shaky breath filled with so much love. Then his hot sticky honey
erupting and covering my hand and stomach…

I cried out softly, "Ugh…Jasper…" as my own cock erupted and I slowly drew out
the last few seconds before resting my head against my arm on the wall and trying
to get my breathing back to normal.

- 155 -
 I smiled. He did it. He helped me. He was an angel, he always would be as far as I
was concerned.

"So, it worked, huh?"

I jumped from the sound of his voice and stuck my head out of the shower to see
him standing there.

He smiled, "Sorry, I had to pee."

I smiled back and I knew I was red, "You heard me?"

He grinned a crooked grin since his lip was busted and said, "Yeah. It was pretty
fuckin hot too. Too bad I'm gonna be out of commission for awhile cuz I was damn
tempted to jump in there and help you out again."

I just laughed and continued washing my body. I probably should've been more
embarrassed than I was, but he never made me feel like I should be so I just let it
go.

I finished my shower and got dressed. I pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans and a
dark chocolate pullover. I walked out of the bathroom and he was sitting up in bed.

I sat down and pulled on some socks and he smiled, "I love that color on you,
Edward. It looks so good with your hair and your skin."

I smiled, "Yeah? Thanks, Jay."

"Your dad left for work and your mom went shopping. She wants to turn the guest
room into my bedroom so I guess we won't be sleeping together anymore."

I groaned, "That sucks."

He sighed, "Yeah, but it's probably a good thing, Edward. I mean, we really
shouldn't be sleeping together every night. It makes taking things slow a little more
difficult. Besides, I'll just be down the hall and she said it would take her about a
week to get it finished."

I knew he was right…but it still sucked.

The doorbell rang and I excused myself to go answer it. When I pulled it open,
there stood Bella, Angela, Seth, Jacob, Embry, and Paul.
- 156 -
 Seth spoke up, "Hey man. We wanted to see if Jay was alright."

I nodded, "Sure, guys. Come on in."

I led them upstairs and Jasper smiled when he saw them. Angela and Bella were
both in tears when they saw his face.

Angela sat down next to him and brushed her hand across his cheek, "Oh my God,
Jasper. I can't believe they did this to you."

He smiled, "It's okay, Ange. I'm gonna heal up fine."

Bella sat down by his feet and smiled, "Well, you'll be happy to know that Lana,
Julie, and Michelle jumped Maria this morning and beat the crap out of her. They
didn't put her in the hospital or anything but they messed her face up pretty good."

He sighed, "They really didn't need to do that. I deserved this."

Angela spoke again, "Hey, Jay, I'm not saying you didn't deserve to get your butt
whipped for what you did because that was pretty dirty but you didn't deserve this. I
mean, you were jumped by four grown men. That's just not right."

Bella sighed, "Yeah, my dad arrested the lowlifes last night. Apparently, two of
them already had warrants out from previous arrests. Real scum, those ones."

Seth and Paul sat down on the couch. Jacob sat on my piano bench and Embry was
sitting on my computer chair. We all chatted for a bit and decided to watch a movie.

"Um…I'll go get some snacks and sodas," I got up off the bed and started to head
downstairs when Bella came up behind me, "I'll help you, Edward."

I groaned internally but smiled, "Okay, thanks Bella."

We went downstairs and I put some microwave popcorn on and was gathering
some sodas when Bella spoke quietly, "Um…hey Edward?"

I turned to look at her, "Yeah?"

She looked down at the ground and fidgeted with her hands, "I…um…I just
wanted to tell you how sorry I am for teasing you when we were kids."

That was unexpected…

- 157 -
 She continued, "I just…well honestly, Edward, I always thought you were really
cute but I wasn't exactly popular either and so I just kinda went along with them to
try and fit in. I feel really bad for the way I treated you and I really hope that you
can forgive me."

Maybe she's not that bad…

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "Thanks, Bella. I forgive you."

She smiled, "Thanks, Edward."

And for once, I smiled a real smile back.

Then she got nervous again, "Um…so I was wondering…the turnabout dance is in
a couple of weeks and I thought that maybe…um…we could go together."

Her face was bright red and I felt a little bad, "Uh…Bella, I don't really do dances.
You should ask Jacob. I know he'd like to go with you."

She sighed, "He's nice but I like you. I knew I didn't have a chance, I mean you
dated Tanya Denali. The woman's like friggin Helen of Troy."

I lifted her chin to look at me, "Bella, believe me when I tell you that you are much
more beautiful than Tanya could ever be. I'm really just not wanting to date anyone
right now."

She smiled, "Okay. Thanks, Edward."

I smiled back, "You're welcome, Bella. Now let's get this food upstairs before
those rez boys start eating the furniture. I swear, I've never seen boys eat the way
they do."

She laughed and we made our way back upstairs.

Everyone snacked and we watched a couple of movies. I gave Jay his medicine and
he was asleep before the second movie ended. Everyone left quietly to not wake him
up.

My mom was still gone so I locked the door and crawled in bed next to him. I
snuggled into his neck and kissed it softly, being careful not to hurt his ribs. He
opened his eyes, "Man, I didn't think they were ever gonna leave."

- 158 -
 I looked up at his wicked grin, "You were faking!"

He laughed, "Yeah…I wanted some alone time with you before your mom got
back."

I smiled and kissed his neck again, "Thank God. I really wanted to be alone with
you too. Although, that was very nice of them to come over and make sure you're
okay."

He put his arm around me and sighed, "Yeah. We've got pretty good friends."

"Um…so Bella asked me to the dance."

He laughed, "That poor girl. I hope you let her down gently, you heartbreaker."

I smirked, "Funny. I was very nice to her. In fact, she even apologized for being
mean to me when we were kids. I guess she's not so bad. I tried to get her to ask
Jacob but I don't know if she will."

He sighed, "That's too bad. Jacob seems like a good guy."

I took a deep breath and looked up at him, "So, um…have you thought about what
Peter said?"

He sighed and ran his good hand through his hair, "Yeah. I've thought about it. To
be honest, the thought makes me nervous as hell. What if they don't want me to stay
here anymore?"

"Jay, you're part of this family. You're not going anywhere. But it makes me really
nervous too. Maybe we just wait and think about it awhile. Ya know, let things cool
off a bit before we say anything."

He smiled, "I think that's a good idea. But you do plan on telling your parents
about us someday?"

I laughed at my silly boy, "Jasper, I plan on spending the rest of my life with you
so yeah, I figure they'll find out eventually."

He laughed, "So you're gonna love me forever, huh? Even now that my best asset
is all bruised and swollen?"

I leaned over and whispered in his ear as I kissed it softly, "Your face is still the
- 159 -
most beautiful thing I have ever seen but that's not your best asset." I put my hand
on his chest above his heart and whispered, "This is."

He sighed and buried his face in my neck, "I love you so much, Edward."

I sighed, "I love you too, Jasper."

We held onto each for a few minutes before I pulled away and smiled, "So, will you
still love me when I'm old and gray?"

He laughed, "As long as you still love me when I have a beer belly."

I smiled, "As long as you don't go bald, we'll be good."

He pretended to look hurt, "You won't love me if I'm old, fat, and bald?"

I smiled and grabbed his cowboy hat and placed it on his head, "I'm sure we'll find
some way to make it work."

He laughed, "We always will, Edward."

We snuggled together and talked until my mom got home. I helped her carry
everything into the house and we talked a little bit about her plans for Jasper's
bedroom. The interior designer was coming out in her as she was very excited about
making it his.

The rest of the day passed quickly and Jasper was asleep for the night. He had
asked me to play the piano for him and he eventually fell asleep to it.

I got up and sat on the windowsill and looked out at the dark sky. It was beautiful
and peaceful, filled with bright stars that shone down over the blackened forest. I
was lost in thoughts of our future together when I saw a black shadow streak across
the back yard.

I jumped and felt my heart beat start racing. My breathing was labored as I tried
to calm myself down.

It was just your imagination, Edward…probably a stray cat or something…

Then I heard the whispering…

Jasper…Jasper…Jasper…
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 I heard soft laughter and I threw my hands over my ears to make it stop…

It's not real, Edward…it's not real…

More laughter…

'We're coming for him…he's ours…'

I shook my head and whispered, "No, he's mine."

More laughter…

Please stop…please stop

'Never'

My eyes were shut tightly as tears fell down. I was shaking and rocking back and
forth…

I whispered, "Leave him alone…"

'Never'

More laughter…

I opened my eyes and saw the forest filled with red eyes staring back at me.

'We're still coming for him, Edward. We will never stop.'

I could barely breathe as I shook my head and whispered 'no' over and over again.

It's not real, it's not real, it's not real…

'Look at us Edward…we're real and we're coming.'

I opened my eyes and the forest was completely black…but I could still hear the
laughter.

"Edward? Edward, what's wrong?"

I shook my head and rocked back and forth.

- 161 -
 I'm fucking crazy, that's what's wrong…

'That's right, Edward You're crazy and no one will believe you. The moment you
speak of us and they lock you away forever…we will take him…'

You can't have him…I'll fight for him.

More laughter…

"Edward? Look at me, baby, please."

Jasper…

I looked up into his baby blue eyes…the color of a clear, beautiful, perfect sky…

Don't leave me…

"Edward, please talk to me, say something…please?"

He's crying…I'm making him cry…say something…

"Why are you crying, Jay? I won't let them hurt you."

He looked confused and I realized what I said so I quickly covered it up, "I'll never
let your mom hurt you again, Jasper. Please don't cry."

He sat down next to me and pulled me into a hug, "Edward, what just happened
with you?"

I heard the laughter but ignored it, "Nothing, Jay. I just got a little overwhelmed, I
think, with everything that's happened the last few days."

We held onto each other for a little while and just rocked back and forth.
Eventually the laughter subsided and I let out a sigh of relief.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes, then he sighed, "Are you sure that's all,
Edward? You just seemed…so far away."

They'll lock me away and then they'll take you from me…

I smiled, "Yeah, Jay. Everything's fine. Let's get some sleep."

- 162 -
 He smiled back, "Okay. You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

I nodded, "Of course, Jasper. I promise, I'm okay. I was just a little overwhelmed
but everything's fine now."

I'm sorry for lying to you, Jay but I have to keep you safe…

"Alright, babe. Let's get to bed."

We went over to the bed and crawled in. He started to pull me into his chest like
how we always slept but I pulled away, "Your ribs, Jay. Let me hold you tonight."

He smiled, "That would be nice, Eddie."

He snuggled into my chest and I wrapped my arms around him. I played with his
hair until I felt him snoring softly against my chest. I held onto him as long as I could
before I knew I better separate us.

I gently pulled out from underneath him and kissed his swollen lips. I whispered,
"I will love you always, Jasper. Forever. Even if you're old, fat, and bald."

Jasper stayed at home from school the next day and I reluctantly went to school. I
walked into first period and smirked when I saw Maria. Both her eyes were black,
her cheek was cut, and her top lip was split.

I took my seat and heard her snicker to Tanya, "My brother's fucked Jasper up so
badly that he isn't even at school today."

I leaned over to Tanya and whispered in her ear, "It's too bad you're best friends
with such an evil bitch. Perhaps things might've worked out between us if the whole
school knew just what kind of person she is and how she set Jasper up in this from
the very beginning. You know she begged him to fuck her. Maybe everyone else
should know too."

Then I leaned back to my seat and gave her the patented crooked grin. She smiled
and looked at Maria with a scowl, "I don't know why you're acting like this, Maria.
You begged him to fuck you and then you get mad when he dumps you like the trash
you are. Hell, he stood you up and you showed up at his house with a condom and
told him that of he didn't fuck you, you'd tell everyone he was a joke. What did you
expect?"

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 Maria turned red as everyone started laughing and whispering about what a slut
she was.

By the end of the day, Maria was shunned by every friend she had and officially
outcast. I gave her an evil smile as I walked past her crying in the hallway.

That's right, bitch. Fuck with my man and I will make your life a living hell…

When I got home, Jasper was in the kitchen helping my mom make dinner.

I smiled, "Looks like you're feeling better."

He turned, "Hey Eddie. Yeah, I'm not near as sore today."

My mom turned and smiled, "Hey, baby. How was your day?"

I smiled, "Pretty good, actually. I brought your homework for you, Jay, so you
wouldn't fall behind."

"Thanks, Edward."

My mom smiled, "Why don't you boys go get started on your homework and I'll
finish up here."

We made our way upstairs and spread our books out on the bed before lying
down. I told Jasper about what happened with Maria and he laughed, "Jesus, Eddie!
You're an evil genius!"

I just smiled, "Well, serves her right. Nobody fucks with my boyfriend and gets
away with it." I leaned over and gave him a kiss and he smiled and just shook his
head.

The next couple of months flew by. Jasper had finally healed completely. My mom
finished his room and he moved in there. It sucked not being able to sleep together
every night but we would occasionally sneak into one another bedrooms and fool
around a bit.

We'd steal kisses and touches wherever we could get them.

School was going really great. Bella asked Jacob to the turnabout dance and they

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actually hit it off, which was great for me because she didn't fawn all over me
anymore. And Jacob was on cloud nine. Him and Jasper had become pretty close.
They spent a lot of time working on a motorcycle that Jasper had bought but needed
rebuilt.

I became pretty close with Bella and Angela. I always thought Angela was very
sweet and Bella actually was too once I really got to know her.

We had stayed a few nights with Peter and Charlotte and was forced to endure
another 'hanky panky' speech. Jasper thought it was hilarious because I would turn
bright red. Peter thought it was funny too, I think that's why he did it.

Jasper was doing really well in school. In fact, when our grades came out, he made
straight A's and was in the top 10 percent of our class. I was really proud of him. He
was just absolutely amazing to me.

Today had been our last day of school before fall break and we were invited to a
Halloween party on Saturday at the rez. I was in my bed, desperately trying to fall
asleep but I hadn't got the chance to kiss Jasper all day and I was aching to taste his
lips.

I looked at the clock, 2:30am.

Maybe I could sneak into his room for just a minute…

Just as I got ready to pull back the covers, my door opened and closed. Jasper was
standing there in nothing but pajama pants. He crept over to my bed and crawled in
under the blanket and on top of me, straddling my waist. He didn't say a word. He
didn't need to.

His eyes were hooded and he licked his bottom lip before I grabbed his hair and
brought his lips crashing to mine. Our lips parted for each other immediately and I
was drinking in his sweet honey taste like a man dying of thirst. We didn't leave any
area of one another's mouths unexplored with our tongues and it didn't take long
until his hands were yanking my t-shirt over my head.

We were in a frenzied state of need…it had been far too long since we had a
chance to be together like this. Hands explored chests and backs and grabbed asses
and pulled hair…moans and grunts and whimpers were resonating from both of our
lips…legs and arms were tangled and pulling one another closer…

I quickly rolled him over on his back and grabbed his hands. I held them above his
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head as I attacked his neck. He was moaning my name softly as I nipped and licked
and sucked every inch of skin of his neck and collarbone and shoulders. I just
couldn't get enough.

I had my weight up off of him and his legs quickly wrapped around my waist and
yanked me down roughly into him, causing that oh-so-lovely friction from our hard
cocks rubbing together through the thin material of our pants and also causing
another low growl from me.

Then, I was on my back and his lips were nipping and sucking and licking my neck
as his hips grinded into mine earning more delicious grunts from him. One of my
hands were tangled in his hair as the other slid down the back of his pants and
clenched his perfect ass, encouraging him further.

His hands slipped underneath me and pushed my pants down in the back as he
grabbed my ass with both hands. His fingers gripped my cheeks and he was
growling as he encouraged me to meet his wild thrusts with my own.

We were moaning and grunting and his lips crashed into mine again as we moved
together wildly, there was nothing sweet or slow about this…no, this was pure
animalistic desire and need.

Then there was a soft knock on my door before it was pushed open. My heart
stopped as I pushed Jasper off of me and he landed on the floor with a thud.

My dad walked in and said, "Edward? You awake, son? What was that thud?"

I sat up and tried to calm my racing heart, "Um…I fell asleep reading…you
startled me and I must've knocked my book on the floor."

I reached down on the side of the bed and Jasper handed me a book. I picked it up
and said, "Oh…see, here it is."

Luckily, Jasper was on the side of the bed by the window.

My dad came over and sat down, "Oh…well, son, we just got a call and your Aunt
Celia has been in a car accident…"

"Oh God, is she okay?"

He sighed, "I don't know. Your mother's pretty shaken up. We're going to drive
down there tonight. You boys are old enough to spend a few days by yourselves so
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we're going to go stay a few days with her until we know what's going on. Here's my
bank card…you know the pin number, should you boys need anything, please use it.
I trust you both. Just remember, no parties and no girls. If you need anything, just
call me. We'll be about four hours away so if it's an emergency, call Chief Swan or
Peter. I'm going to call them both in the morning and let them know the situation."

I nodded, "Okay, dad. Call me and let me know how she's doing."

He nodded, "I will, son. I'm going to go let Jasper know what's going on and then
we'll be leaving…"

"Wait! Um…no need to wake him up. I'll let him know what's going on in the
morning. He was really exhausted when he went to bed tonight."

Dad nodded and said, "You're probably right. Well, tell him what happened and to
call us if he needs anything. You boys be good and I'll call you tomorrow."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Okay, dad. Be careful. Tell mom I love her and I love you
too."

He smiled, "Love you too, son. Now, get some rest."

He shut the door and I looked over the side of my bed to see Jasper lying there on
his back, breathing very heavily and wide eyed.

He whispered, "Fuck, that was close."

I nodded, "Yeah. Sorry for throwing you."

He grimaced, "Yeah, I landed on my dick and I think I broke it."

I smiled as I helped him up. I whispered, "I could kiss it all better…"

He groaned, "Edward…I have to go back to my room. If you're awake when they

leave, come get in bed with me."

I nodded, "Okay, Jay."

He crept to the door and peeked out before sprinting down the hallway to his
room.

I laid back down and smiled…

- 167 -
We have the whole house to ourselves for days…

- 168 -
 Chapter 10

Sex On Fire by Kings of Leon

Jasper's POV

I was lying in my bed thinking about everything that happened in the last few
months. I had finally healed completely from the ass whooping I got at the beginning
of the year and I was just thankful that it wasn't worse than it was. I had actually felt
kind of bad for Maria. Both of us were pretty fucked up people so about a month
after everything happened, I talked to her and we both agreed to just try and let the
past go and move on.

I had spent a few nights crying about the awful things my mom had said to me but
eventually I decided that I was done crying about someone who didn't love me.
Besides, I was surrounded by people who loved me now. I don't know why they did,
but they did.

Carlisle was such a good man. He treated me no differently than he treated

Edward and I no longer felt like a guest in this house, this was my home now. We
spent a lot of his free time in the garage, beating on the old punching bag. It was a
lot of fun and I looked forward to our afternoons together. It didn't hurt that Carlisle
was pretty fuckin hot too when he got all sweaty. Yeah, I knew it was kinda fucked
up to think of my new father figure as hot…but seriously, have you seen the guy?

Esme was the best mother figure anyone could ask for. She was teaching me how
to cook and I had a blast hanging out with her in the kitchen. She had completely
redone the guest room and made it my own. She even went back to my mother's
house the next day and gathered up all of my belongings. She found my bong though
and I had to have a talk with her and Carlisle. But they believed me when I told
them I hadn't done anything since the last school year and that I wouldn't do those
things any more. It wasn't that hard to keep my promise because I was really happy
here, so there was no reason to try and escape reality anymore.

And it was great getting to be with Edward every day. Not that things were that
different than before because we were always together but still, it was nice knowing
that I never had to leave and go someplace else.

The only bad thing was that our alone time was actually less than before since we
weren't sleeping together every night. But I knew it was for the best.

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 Edward had scared me once when I was still healing. I saw him staring out the
window all huddled up and whispering to himself. He had this far away look in his
eye but when I questioned him about it, he had just said he was overwhelmed. I
could understand that because a lot had happened but I was still concerned and
kept a close eye on him. I hadn't seen anything unusual though in these last couple
of months.

School was actually going really good. I was really proud of myself for doing so
well and I knew that if I kept at it, I could be with Edward next year in his advanced
classes and possibly on my way to getting a scholarship in the future.

Our friends were great too. I was glad that Edward had become close to Angela
and Bella. It was a good thing for us to have friends outside of each other. I loved
Edward with all of my heart but I knew it wasn't healthy for us to only cling to each
other. I wanted Edward to be with me because he loved and wanted me…not
because he couldn't stand on his own two feet without me. I wanted us to both be
strong and good for each other. And I think we were doing really well so far.

I had become pretty close to Jacob. We spent a lot of time working in his garage
on the bike I had bought. The kid was a mechanical wiz and I was thankful that he
was helping me out. I was glad that he and Bella finally got together. He adored her
and treated her the way she should be treated.

But I did get a little jealous sometimes of the relationship he had with her…not
because I wanted him or anything. I mean, yeah, the boy was all kinds of fuckhot
and a real sweet guy but I was jealous because he could hold hands with Bella at
school. They could share intimate looks and kisses and whispers. They could go to
school dances and he could put his arm around her. He could show the whole school
just how he felt about the person he loved.

Those were things I couldn't do with the person I loved.

And I wanted to really bad. I would've been proud to tell the whole fuckin world
that I was in love with Edward Cullen. But, I knew that if we did ever come out,
things wouldn't be the same for us as they were for Jacob and Bella. People were not
as accepting of two boys being together, especially high school kids.

As for our friends, I think they would probably be okay with it. I was pretty sure at
least, that Bella, Angela, and Jacob wouldn't freak out about it.

I glanced over at the clock…2:30am.

- 170 -
 I wonder if Edward's still awake…

I hadn't had the chance to kiss him all day. Fuck, I missed his soft lips.

Maybe I'll sneak into his room for a good night kiss…then I'll finally be able to
sleep.

I pulled back the blanket and crept to his room. When I shut his door behind me
and crawled into bed with him…things just ignited.

My mind was lost in incoherent pleasure as his lips and hands were all over me.
Then when he held my hands down…fuck…I really liked dominant Edward. We
would definitely have to explore this side of him in the future…

But then all thoughts of pleasure were lost as I was flung to the floor and landed
on my aching erection…that was now aching for different reasons.

I kept quiet as Carlisle explained what happened with Esme's sister. I felt really
bad for her but at the same time, I was very excited about the idea of being
completely alone with Edward for a few days.

When he left the room Edward leaned over and I told him that I broke my dick.
Then he whispers that he could kiss it better…

Fuckin tease…

I groan and tell him to meet me in my bed when his parents leave. I creep back to
my room and crawl under the blankets and wait.

My mind is clouded with images now from his little tease earlier…

Edward on his knees…in between my legs…his hot tongue sliding across the tip of
my cock…fuck

And now I'm hard again. I know he was just teasing and he's not ready to go that
far yet but my cock is throbbing in anticipation.

I hear the sound of the garage door open and close and a smile spreads across my
face.

A minute later, my door opens and their's my beautiful boy in all his shirtless,
pajama clad glory. I lean up on my elbows to get a better look and notice he's
- 171 -
leaning against the door twirling a stethoscope in his fingers.

I raise an eyebrow and he grins that sexy crooked grin and says, "I heard there's a
really hot boy in here with a broken cock…"

I can't help but grin now as he walks over to the bed and draws back the blanket.
He sits down next to me then puts the stethoscope around his neck and in his ears
and smiles, "Now don't you worry, young man…Dr. Love has the cure for what ails
you…"

I laugh softly and lay back down to let the doctor go to work. He lifts the end of
the stethoscope to his mouth and breathes on it to get it warm. Then he places it
over my heart and grins wickedly, "My my…so tell me, Mr. Whitlock, what has your
heart racing so fast?"

I groan, "Edward…"

He laughs, "So, it's this Edward boy that has your heart beating out of your
chest…"

I nod, "Yeah, doc. He's the fuckin hottest boy I've ever seen…"

He looks thoughtful for a moment and says, "Hmm…I think I'd like to do some
tests. Now, let's see…"

His one hand is still holding the stethoscope over my heart as his other hand
starts sliding up my stomach and to my nipple as he squeezes gently. I moan and he
smiles, "That certainly raised the beat of your heart a notch…but I think I need to
do…more."

His soft fingertips trail down my chest and across my stomach until they reach the
waist band of my pants. My breathing is already erratic when he leans down and
whispers, "Can you show me exactly where it hurts?"

Jesus Christ, I love this fuckin boy…

I nod and run my hand down my stomach and under the waist band of my pants,
grab my cock and pant out, "Right here, doc."

He smiles, "Well, now let's see what the love doctor can do to make you all
better…"

- 172 -
 He places the stethoscope on the nightstand and crawls on top of me. His hands
grip the sides of my pants and begin dragging them down my legs as my cock
springs free and I groan.

He pulls them all the way off and drops them to the floor. Then he sits up on his
knees and slowly starts pulling his pants down. I watch as his hard cock is revealed
to me and I instinctively lick my lips and whisper, "So fuckin beautiful…"

He sits back and pulls his pants the rest of the way off and they join mine on the
floor. If he thought my heart beat was racing before…it's really goin now.

He slowly crawls on top of me and I moan softly as he lays down and our hard
cocks rub together. I can feel them both twitching as they're trapped between our
stomachs. His hips start moving against me and I'm fuckin lost right now in
pleasure.

He moans in my ear before taking it between his teeth and fuckin growlin as he
reaches down between us and rubs the palm of his hand over the heads of both our
cocks. Once he spreads around the pre cum, he takes both of our cocks in his hand
and starts pumping them together. My hands are on his ass and I moan, "Oh
God…who are you and what the fuck did you do with my sweet, shy boyfriend?"

He raises up with that crooked grin and hooded eyes and in a rough voice laced
with lust he says, "Fuck the shy bullshit…we're way past that…"

And I just can't take anymore…

I sit up quickly so we're facing each other, then I reach over to my nightstand and
open the drawer. I pull out my bottle of lotion and he raises an eyebrow. I give him
an evil smile right back before I pour a little in my hand and reach down between
us, lace my fingers with his and we both start stroking our now hard, wet cocks.

His head lulls back and he moans loudly, "Oh fuck yeah…"

Both of us lean back with our free hands and watch what we're doing. Our eyes
are fixated on our thick, hard cocks as they are pushed together and being stroked
furiously with our interlocked hands.

Then our hips start moving against each other as our movements are becoming
wild as we draw closer to release.

We quickly develop a rhythm and I can't help but look up at his beautiful face
- 173 -
that's twisted in pleasure as he cries out, "Oh God Jay…I'm so close…"

I growl, "Fuckin cum with me, Edward…"

A few more wild strokes and I see stars as my eyes travel down and take in the
sight of the thick creamy liquid erupting from both of our cocks and coating our
hands and stomachs.

Edward's face is beyond beautiful as he screams out my name, "Oh God, Jasper!"

And I screamed out his, "Fuck…Edward!"

We both collapsed behind us and struggle to gain our breathing. I have to clear
the fuckin stars from my eyes and eventually I hear snoring.

I raise up and see Edward has fallen asleep with a soft smile on his face. I laugh
softly to myself before disentangling my legs from his. I get up and walk to the
bathroom and grab a wet wash cloth. I clean myself up then go back to my bed and
gently clean Edward.

He sighs softly but doesn't wake up. I throw the wash cloth in the hamper and
figure that he'll probably be back to his shy self in the morning when he wakes up
and realizes we're both naked in my bed. So I go and grab his robe and lay it over
the footboard of my bed before crawling in next to him. He's at the wrong end of the
bed, so I grab the pillow from the top and bring it down to the end of the bed. I
carefully lift his head and slide the pillow underneath it. He rolls to his side and I
wrap my arms around him from behind so that we're spooning. I pull the blanket
over us and kiss his shoulder. I whisper, "Sweet dreams, Dr. Love."

And then I'm out like a light.

I wake up to the sound of my phone. I reach over and grab it from my nightstand
and flip it open. My voice is still thick with sleep, "Hey Carlisle."

"Hey son. Did Edward let you know what happened?"

I snuggle back into Edward, "Yeah, how's she doing?"

"She's in stable condition. Looks like we'll be here at least until Monday. Are you
boys okay on your own till then?"

- 174 -
 Hell yeah, it's only Friday.

"Yeah, Carlisle, we'll be fine. We've got Peter and Chief Swan if anything happens
so don't worry about us."

He sighs, "I hate leaving you boys all alone."

"We're fine here. Please don't worry yourself about us, just take care of Esme and
tell we love her."

"I will son. Is Edward awake?"

Nope…I wore him out last night and he's still sleeping naked in my bed…

"No, he's still sleeping. Do you want me to wake him up?"

"No, that's alright. I'll call you boys later. If you need anything, just call me."

"We will, Carlisle. Take care of yourself and we'll talk to you soon."

"Alright, son. Bye."

"Bye."

I flip my phone shut and wrap my arms back around my beautiful sleeping boy. He
sighs and I'm thankful that my during my talk with Carlisle, my mornin wood has
softened a bit.

But then Edward groans and backs into me and yep, I'm hard again. I pull my hips
away so that he doesn't completely freak out when he wakes up. Then he sighs as
his hand goes to his eyes and starts rubbing them.

Then I hear him take a sharp breath and raise the blanket to look down. He gasps
and pulls the blanket up to his chin. I laugh softly and kiss his shoulder, "Mornin
darlin."

He turns to look at me and his face is redder than I have ever seen it,
"Uh…morning, Jay."

I smile, "So, there's my sweet, shy boyfriend. I was worried I had lost him to his
alter ego, Dr. Love."

- 175 -
 He got even redder, who knew…

He groans, "I actually did that, didn't I?"

I smile, "You sure did, doc. C'mon, wanna go take a shower?"

He looks under the blanket again and whispers, "I'm naked."

I can't help the laughter now as my sweet little Eddie is still bright red. So I sit up
and yank the blanket completely off us and yell, "Holy shit! I'm naked too!"

His hands fly to his crotch and he looks back at me and smirks, "Very funny."

I shake my head and grab his bathrobe, "Here, Eddie."

He smiles and takes the robe, "Thanks."

I just nod as he pulls it on. I get out of bed and walk to my bathroom forgoing my
robe. We've seen each other naked on more than one occasion and…well, I just
prefer to be naked whenever possible…just the way the good Lord intended. I know
I probably should be a little less eager to walk around in the buff cuz of my scars
but…fuck it, I still look good.

I look back at Edward who's staring intently at my ass. His head lifts up quick to
look into my eyes and he turns red again since I caught him checking me out. I just
laugh, "Hey, man, if you wanna take a shower in your room, that's okay. I'll just be a
few minutes and then we can make some breakfast. But you're welcome to join me,
if you want, Edward."

He nods but doesn't move from his sitting position on the bed as I turn on the
shower and brush my teeth while waiting for it to get hot. I watch him get up and
leave my room. I sigh, a little sad he won't be joining me but I don't wanna make him
uncomfortable. One thing I've noticed with Edward is that the old saying, "The
freaks come out at night," is definitely true. Edward was always more brave at
nighttime.

I quickly shower and once I'm done and dry, I pull on a pair of jeans but decide
against a shirt.

I walk downstairs to the kitchen and start fryin up some bacon. A few minutes
later, Edward comes down. I take in the sight of him and I can feel my heart beat a
little faster. His sexy as fuck hair is still damp and the bronze color is just…well,
- 176 -
beautiful. He's wearing a pair of dark jeans and a dark green t-shirt with a flannel
over it but unbuttoned.

God he's good looking…

He smiles, "Sorry about…um…freaking out a bit."

I walk up to him and cock my head, "Can I have my good mornin kiss now?"

He gives me that crooked grin before closing his eyes and brushing his lips to
mine. It's a soft, sweet kiss and it's just perfect.

When we part, he sighs with a sweet lazy grin on his face, "Good morning, Jay."

He helps me make breakfast and soon we're sitting down at the kitchen table
eating bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast. We talk a little while we eat and I fill him
in on my conversation with Carlisle.

We finish breakfast and decide to play some video games. We spend the morning
playing around and just hanging out. Pretty soon, it's lunch time so we head to the
kitchen and make grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

And I'm picturing us together in the future…living in our own house, cooking
together, playing around and having fun.

Once we're finished, we wash the dishes and put them away. As I'm drying my
hands, I turn to him, "So, Edward, what do ya wanna do now?"

He shrugs, "I don't care."

I think for a moment then look into his pretty green eyes, "Wanna play some ball?"

He smiles a brilliant smile, "Those are the very first words you ever said to me."

I nod, "Yeah, I remember. And you looked behind you cuz you didn't think I was
talkin to you."

He smiles shyly, "I just never thought someone like you would waste your time
with someone like me."

I walk up to him and put my arms around his waist, bringing him close to me and I
smile, "You just have no clue how fuckin beautiful you are, do you?" He looks down
- 177 -
at the ground shyly and I lift his chin to look back at me.

I whisper, "Edward, you don't see yourself clearly. When I look at you, I see a boy
who is just as gorgeous on the outside as he is on the inside. You're brave and
strong and smart and you're so good, Edward. I can't believe you actually gave me
the time of day."

He smiles, "You think I'm brave and strong and…gorgeous?"

"You are the bravest, strongest person I know. And, Jesus Christ, Edward…you are
so fuckin gorgeous…and you're so good at everything. I mean, fuck, Eddie, you kiss
so damn good ya turned me gay."

He starts laughing and I smile brightly for making him laugh.

I love making him laugh…his whole face lights up.

He looks into my eyes and has that crooked little grin on his face, "Um…wanna go
make out?"

I grab his hand, "Yeah…on the couch this time…" and I lead him over to the couch.
I push him down on his back and he pulls me down with him. We kiss deeply as our
hands roam each other's body. I slide one hand underneath his t-shirt and explore
his nicely developed chest while my other hand is wrapped up in his sex hair.

His hands are clenching my bare back and I groan into his mouth as he pushes
them underneath the waist of my jeans and grabs my ass. I pull away and begin
kissing and sucking the soft skin on his neck. He moans softly and then I grab him
by his flannel shirt and pull him up to a sitting position.

I push the shirt over his shoulders and slide it off, dropping it on the floor. My
hands trail up his bicep and underneath the arms of his t-shirt, gripping his
shoulders as my mouth never leaves the soft skin of his neck and collarbone.

Then his hands reach behind him and grip his t-shirt, pulling it over his head and
throwing it. My mouth is back to his collar bone as I lick and suck the skin there. Up
to this point, we have never trailed kisses anywhere lower than the neck, except for
the occasional peck…but right now, I'm ready to kiss a little lower.

I lean him back down as my hands trail down his sides, gripping his hips as I begin
moving down his body. I kiss his chest and his breathing hitches when I snake my
tongue out and lick down the center of his pecs. Then I slide my tongue across his
- 178 -
muscle to his nipple but I circle around it instead of taking it into my mouth. I look
up and see him staring down at me with hooded lust filled eyes, his lips parted just a
trace as his breathing is ragged.

I continue staring into his emerald eyes as I swirl my tongue around his nipple
causing it to pebble and harden…he whimpers and I smile. I close my lips around it
and suck gently as his head falls back with a throaty moan. His fingers immediately
tangle themselves in my hair and my fingers are gripping onto the flesh of his hips.

His hips are now moving against my leg that's in-between his, no doubt, trying to
create some friction as I feel his hardness on my thigh. I lick and kiss my way over
to his other nipple and repeat the action, only this time I nip it gently with my teeth
and he moans loudly, "More…please Jay…more." And so I decide to give him more.

My lips and tongue begin trailing further down to his stomach. I dip my tongue in
his belly button and he's writhing beneath me as his fingers now clench my
shoulders and his back arches.

I kiss and suck and lick every inch of skin on his stomach and eventually work my
way to his hipbone. I nip at it and his dick is now rock hard and twitching against my
chest and collarbone through his jeans.

My tongue slides from his hip to that delicious little V until I am sucking the skin
right above the button on his jeans. My eyes travel up his hard body until they meet
lust filled green eyes.

I raise up on my hands and just dip my head down as I lick my tongue out and take
long, slow strides along his lower stomach. My eyes never leave his…I'm looking for
any signs of fear or trepidation but I see none.

So I lower myself down to my elbows on either side of his waist and my hands
come to the button on his jeans. He's trembling and panting and I love to watch the
way his sexy stomach rises up and down from his ragged breathing.

Very slowly, I push the button of his jeans through and pull the zipper down. He's
up on his elbows, watching every move I make in complete fascination. And I can't
help but smile up at him because…well, I really fuckin love him.

And he smiles back and whispers, "I love you, Jasper."

And that's all I need to hear to strengthen my resolve to go further. I raise up and
grab the sides of his jeans and boxers and start tugging them down. I smile at my
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sweet, beautiful boy and whisper, "I love you too, Edward."

He lifts his hips allowing me to get them down and my mouth literally waters at
the sight of his big, thick cock. I pull his clothes completely off and drop them to the
ground. I lower myself down between his legs and trace my tongue down that V all
the way to soft, bronze curls.

My tongue travels over to his pelvic bone where I suck and nip. He's moaning my
name softly as his body is still writhing against me. I move to his other side and
repeat my actions on his pelvic bone before sucking on his inner thigh gently.

He groans and I watch as his cock throbs and twitches. His hands are gripping the
couch cushion underneath him as he watches me intently. I trail licks and kisses
down his inner thighs to the back of his knees and he moans loudly as I suck the skin
there.

My tongue devours every inch of skin from his knees and down his strong calves
until I reach his feet. And, call me weird if you want to but I love Edward's feet.
They're just really cute to me for some reason and I can't help but slide my tongue
along the bottom before reaching his toes and sucking them gently into my mouth.

He's looking at me like he's getting ready to pass out from pleasure. His hands
tangle themselves in his own hair as he moans, "Holy mother of God, Jay…what the
hell are you doing to me?"

I lift his other leg and continue my newly found fetish as I suck on his toes and
trail to his ankle…up his calf…the back of his knee…and finally back up to his inner
thigh.

I raise myself up on my hands until my mouth is right above his stiff cock. His eyes
are back on mine and I lean down and trail my nose gently along his shaft as I
whisper, "Can I taste you here, Edward?"

I've never seen his eyes as intense as they are now as he nods and breathily
whispers, "Please…please, Jay…" And I know I should be nervous because I've never
done this before…but I'm too excited to care and besides, even of I'm not very good
at it, it's not like he'll know the difference. And nothing else matters because I'm
about to give Edward his first blow job and I just want to make sure that it's beyond
incredible for him. I was terrified the first time I had gotten head and I was kind
of…having a do over with Edward's first experience.

I dipped my head down and ran my tongue from the base of his dick, along the
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thick vein underneath up to the head. His hands were back to gripping the couch
cushions as I swirled my tongue around the swollen head gently. I looked up and
kept my eyes on his as he bit his lip to stifle a moan.

I slipped my tongue across the slit and finally got my first real taste of Edward.
And he tasted better than I could've ever imagined.

I moan from just the taste of him on my tongue and I wrap my lips around the
head of his cock and suck gently as I continue swirling my tongue around the tip and
dip it across his slit.

And now my heart is beating through my chest as I close my eyes and relax my
throat. I slowly move down over his shaft, taking as much of it as I can down my
throat. Then I realize, I'm going to have to work my way down because he's really
big and I've never done this before.

So I continue sucking him slowly up and down…going just a little further down
each time. Edward is moaning insensately…

"Oh God Jay…so good…don't stop…I love you…ugh…I'm…so…close…"

And finally, I feel his soft curls tickle my nose and I realize that I've taken him all
the way down my throat. I open my eyes and see his burning into mine and I know
he's about to explode.

I suck roughly and move my tongue along his soft skin as much as possible before
he screams out, "Oh God…I'm gonna cum, Jay…"

I know he's warning me cuz he thinks I'm gonna move…but I have no intention of
releasing his cock from my mouth until I've drank him in completely.

His hand reaches down and slides along my cheek, cupping it lovingly. His face is
twisted in pleasure but his eyes never leave mine as he spills himself into me. I feel
it hit the back of my throat and I suck greedily to taste every last drop.

He's moaning my name softly over and over again like a prayer.

He collapses against the couch and I move up and finally release his softening
cock.

He has the most beautiful lazy grin on his face and I smile because I'm the one
that put it there. He giggles as his cheeks turn red, "God Jay…that
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was…amazing…thank you."

And even though I'm painfully hard right now…I can't bring myself to care. I smile
at Edward and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by how strongly I'm feeling right
now. I've never felt anything so strong before in my life and I know that Edward is
and always will be the only one for me.

I reach down and grab his boxers before slipping them over his feet and sliding
them up his legs until their in place. And then…he's up on his knees and facing me
as I sit with my back against the couch. He quickly straddles my lap and his lips are
on mine. His hands grip my hair and his tongue swirls around mine, tasting himself
as we kiss.

He pulls away and begins devouring my neck and collarbone as he whispers, "I
love you" over and over again. And my body is on fire and my heart is close to
bursting cuz I not only hear his words…I feel them with every touch and kiss.

His kisses travel further down as he takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks
sharply causing my head to fall back against the couch as I moan, "So good…"

Then he's on his knees, in-between my legs as he kisses and licks my chest and
stomach. His fingers make quick work of the button and zipper of my jeans and he
begins tugging them down.

I look down at him through eyes that are already hazy with desire and whisper,
"Edward, you don't have to do this…"

He looks up at me and smiles, "I know I don't, Jay, because you would never ask
me to do something I wasn't ready to do. But I'm ready for this. I want this. Please
let me suck your cock, Jasper."

God, I practically came just from him asking to suck me…

I look into his eyes searching for anything that would tell me he didn't really
wanna do this…but all I saw was complete love and devotion. I brush my fingers
across his cheek and whisper, "Are you sure?"

He turns his head and kisses my palm…then he flashes me an evil grin before
sucking my pointer finger into his mouth and moaning around it.

Good God that feels good…

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 While I'm distracted, his hands are back on the waist of my jeans as he yanks
them roughly down and I lift my hips to let him. He pulls them off and since I was
goin commando, I'm now completely naked.

His mouth releases my finger with a 'pop' and he smiles, "Yes, I'm sure." I laugh
softly and brush my fingers through his hair, "You're so cute, Edward."

His lips attach themselves to my hips and he moans, "And you're so fucking sexy,
Jasper…"

I continue brushing my fingers through his hair as he kisses and sucks on my

pelvic bone. Now I'm writhing beneath him as my breathing becomes shallow and
I'm trying my best to control my hips and not move.

His warm hand grasps my dick and I moan a low, long moan as I feel his hot
breath on the tip. I look down into his eyes and now he looks scared. I tilt his chin up
to look at me and say, "Edward…it's okay, you don't have to do this…"

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath, "I…I really want to…I'm just…you're
so experienced…and I just…I don't know what I'm doing…I might be really bad at
it."

I'm still holding his chin and looking into his eyes as I whisper, "Edward, I love
you. Every small touch you give me, brings me more happiness and more pleasure
than I have ever known because I know you love me too. This is all new to me too
because I've never been in love and I've never been loved. There's no way you could
ever do anything bad in my eyes."

I watch as his eyes soften and his lips turn up into a sweet smile, "I love you too,
Jasper. So, if I…uh…do something wrong, just tell me."

I give him a small nod but know that there's no way possible for Edward's mouth
on me to be anything short of earth shattering.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as his tongue tentatively reaches out
and licks across the slit of my cock. My eyes close for just a moment as I take in the
gravity of what's happening.

Edward Cullen is giving me a blow job…holy fuckin hell…

I moan softly and open my eyes because I just have to watch…just to make sure
this is really happening. His tongue swirls around the head a few times before
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taking it into his hot, wet mouth and sucking gently.

Now I'm gripping the couch cushions beneath me in an effort to keep my hips still
and not thrust down his throat. He slowly starts working his way down as his tongue
continues lavishing my skin with attention. His hand starts working it's way up and
twists around the base of my shaft as he gently sucks more and more down his
throat.

I'm feeling beyond intoxicated now and I can barely see straight…all I can do is
feel. He finally opens his eyes and looks up at me. And that's about all I can take
because the sight of my cock in Edward's mouth and his beautiful eyes looking up at
me filled with so much love and trust…every nerve in my body is on sensory
overload.

I moan, "Edward…I'm gonna cum, baby…"

My hand goes to his hair but I only brush my fingers through it so that I'm not
tempted to hold his head there.

I expected him to move but instead he swallows around me as I cum deep in his
throat. I'm seeing nothing but a haze of colors swirling around me and I can say
without a doubt, no one has ever made me feel like this before.

He finally releases me and wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand. I smile
down at him with a lazy, completely satisfied grin and whisper, "That was better
than anything I've ever felt in my whole life, Edward. Thank you."

He smiles shyly at me and once again, I'm overwhelmed. I pull him up to me and
kiss his soft lips gently and whisper that I love him. He whispers it back as he lays
himself back down on the couch and pulls me with him. He scoots to the side a little
so I can rest my body next to his. My head is on his chest and my arms are wrapped
around his back. Our legs are tangled together and he has one arm around my back
and his other hand is sweeping through my curls.

He reaches up and grabs the blanket laying on the back of the couch and throws it
over us. I lay there completely content and happier than I ever thought I could be.
And before I drift off to sleep…I think to myself that I still have the whole weekend
alone with him and I wanna do something really special for him.

We've never been on a date before…maybe I can work something out…

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 Chapter 11

Again, I have to thank you guys so much for all the sweet reviews. I'm so
glad you're enjoying my boys...so here's another angst free chapter before
things start moving along.

Edwin McCain - I'll Be and Counting Crows - Colorblind

Edward's POV

I laid there on the couch with the most amazing boy in my arms, feeling his hot
breath against my chest and running my fingers through perfect golden curls.

I can't believe we just…did that. God, the way he looked at me as he took me into
his mouth…so beautiful and loving. The feel of his tongue against my
skin…ugh…and those dark blue eyes filled with love and lust and need. And I saw
the way he watched me…looking in my eyes to make sure I was okay. He's just
incredible. I never knew anyone could love the way he does. Jasper may have a
tough exterior but inside…he was amazingly tender and sweet. And he loves me as
much as I love him…I can feel it with every touch and every word.

He does all these little things that are, in the grand scheme of things, pretty big.
Like how he had my robe waiting for me this morning…he just knew I'd be
embarrassed once I woke up. He's always looking out for me and taking care of me.

I don't know what came over me last night. Sometimes I just feel so different…I
lose my inhibtions and I feel aggressive but then, just as quickly, my whole mood
can change and I can be really timid and shy again. I guess it doesn't really matter
because he seems to like both sides of me.

I can't believe I gave and received my first blow job. Wow. Everything was just so
perfect. Every new experience he gives me is beyond wonderful. I wish I was his
first at everything too but I guess it's a good thing that one of us has some
experience…even though the thought of him with anyone else makes my blood boil.
He's mine. Forever. And I'm his. Forever.

God he tasted so good. It was a little awkward at first because it was so new to
me, but I really enjoyed it. Hearing the soft moans and feeling the soft silky skin that
cradles his long steel cock…ugh…yeah, I liked it a lot. It seemed like a did a pretty
good job.

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 Maybe I can do some research and figure out how to do it better. I've never
watched porn before…maybe I'll have to sneak away at some point and get some
tips. I wonder how he was able to take all of me down his throat? I need to learn
how to do that. I could just ask him…I'll have to think about that some more.

I finally drifted off to sleep, completely satisfied and filled with so much love…

Eventually, the sound of the doorbell woke me up. I sat up and stretched as I tried
to wake myself up and noticed that it was twilight outside.

Where's Jasper?

I hurriedly pulled on my jeans and t-shirt as I scanned the area for him, "Jay?!
Where are you?"

The doorbell rang again and I stumbled over to it as I listened for any sign of
where he might be.

Why would he leave me to sleep alone?

I sighed and pulled open the door. I furrowed my brows as I saw Jasper standing
there with a beautiful dimpled grin. He was leaning against the doorway with one
arm while he held the other behind his back. He looked incredible. He was wearing
a nice pair of dark jeans and a midnight blue button up over top of a white wife
beater.

I was confused, "Jay? Why'd you ring the doorbell?"

His smile grew even wider and I saw the faint trace of a blush on his cheeks. He
brought his arm around from behind his back and he held a single red rose in his
hand. I smiled now as he handed the rose to me and said, "Did you know that roses
are my favorite flower?"

I'm kind of dumbfounded for the moment and just shake my head. He bites his lip
nervously for just a second before continuing, "The red rose symbolizes a deep love
and respect…passion and devotion."

I'm trying to remember how to speak again as my breathing has become a little
shallow, "I didn't know you even liked flowers…"

God, I wish I could be as smooth as he is…

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 He lifts his hand to my cheek and brushes his fingertips across it as he whispers,
"I like pretty things, Edward."

And I'm just…speechless. I just stare into those sensual pools of deep blue which
is the tell tale sign that Jasper is feeling a little worked up right now. I could always
tell his mood by his eyes…baby blue when he was light and happy…but the more
worked up he got, the darker they got.

He lowers his hand and stands up straight and his eyes are burning into mine,
"Edward, I'd like to take you out on a date. Would you go with me?"

I'm shocked and still a little confused but completely willing to follow him
anywhere. I smile back and I know my cheeks are crimson, "Uh…of course I would,
Jay…but, um…how?"

He sighs, "I know I don't have a car or a license or even any money but what I do
have is a pretty good imagination and a whole hell of a lot of love for you, Edward.
So, get your shoes on and meet me back here in five minutes."

I watch as he turns and pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. I know he must be
nervous because the only times he smokes now is when he's really nervous about
something or really pissed or occasionally after an extremely intense make out
session.

I turn and run upstairs and throw on some socks and shoes. I quickly change out
of my t-shirt into a chocolate long sleeved thermal shirt because I know he really
likes this color on me. Then I run to the bathroom and brush my teeth and try to do
something with my hair but then I just give up because it's going to do whatever the
hell it wants anyway.

I smile one last time at the rose lying on my nightstand and I run back downstairs.
I walk outside on the front porch and he smiles, "You look amazing, Eddie." I smile
shyly and softly say, "So do you."

He holds out his strong hand and I place mine in it. I smile, "So, where are we
going?"

He smiles and I can see that faint blush in his cheeks again as he starts guiding
me around to the back of the house, "Well, like I said before…I can't really take you
anywhere so I…um…"

Then we round the corner and I'm in awe. The old wooden gazebo in the back yard
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is now adorned with hundreds of white twinkly lights and there's a small table in the
middle of it. The table has a red tablecloth on it and two lit candles surrounded by a
few wildflowers. There's dishes on the table covered by lids.

The speakers that are hooked up outside are docked to his Ipod as slow music fills
the brisk autumn air. The forest that surrounds our house is bursting with color as
the brightly colored leaves of crimson, gold, ginger only help to create the perfect
backdrop. The sky is purple and pink as the sun bows gracefully down and welcomes
the moonlight.

I look over at him and his cheeks are scarlet and he's holding his breath. He looks
at me and I can see the nervousness in his eyes as he whispers, "This is really corny,
isn't it?"

And the corner of my mouth turns up at the scene laid out before me. And I'm just
drawn to his lips with the need to push away all doubts and reservations he has
because I am completely lovestruck.

My hands grasp the collar of his shirt as I crash my lips to his and pour every bit
of love and utter devotion I have into this kiss. His hands are quickly tangled in my
hair as we will our bodies to become closer than humanly possible. His lips part and
I breathe him in as my tongue slow dances with his to the soft music floating on the
air around us. And I am lost in perfection and love and devotion.

After an infinite amount of time, because time stands still when his lips are on
mine, I slowly pull away. And I'm certain that if the kiss didn't convince him that this
was anything but corny…the dazed and awestruck look of love on my face would.

He smiles shyly now and whispers, "So, you like it?"

I slowly nod because my vocal chords have gone AWOL on me and eventually I
manage a breathy, "Just…perfect."

He lets out a breath he has been holding and graces me with his dimpled smile
again as his hand takes mine and leads me to the gazebo. He pulls out my chair for
me and smiles nervously, "Um…I'm not trying to treat you like the girl or anything,
Edward…I just…well, I've never really been on a real date before. I mean, we've
taken girls to the movies and stuff but this is different and I'm not really sure exactly
what I'm supposed to do."

And I'm taken in with this new nervous Jasper. He's always so confident and sure
of everything so I know how hard this must be for him to be out of his element. I'm
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always out of my element. And I can't help but think…that it's absolutely adorable.

So as he takes his seat, I take his hand and smile, "You're doing good, Jay."

He smiles again and chews his bottom lip for just a moment. Then he whispers,
"Thanks, Edward."

And I whisper back, "Thank you, Jasper."

He pulls the lids off our plates and says, "I still don't know how to cook a whole
lotta stuff yet so I figured spaghetti was pretty fail proof."

I grin widely because he's the cutest thing I've ever seen, "It looks great, Jay. I
can't believe you made us dinner."

He just laughs as I can see his confidence coming back, "Well, this is just the first
part of our date. I made dessert too. And I was gonna get a bottle of wine but
decided on Coke instead."

I laugh now, "Coke's good."

And with that, all his nervousness fades away and we began eating and talking
and laughing. The spaghetti is fantastic and I'm really touched by all the planning
and time he's put into this.

Once dinner is done, he takes the dishes into the house and brings us dessert. He
sets the plates down along with a small lidded jar and smiles, "I got the recipe from
your mama's cookbook. It's called a blondie. It's like a brownie but with butterscotch
cuz I know you're not real big into chocolate. And I brought some honey for you to
drizzle over top of it." He lifts the lid of the jar to reveal the sticky honey inside.

I can't help but laugh, "A blondie and honey…my two very favorite things."

He smiled, "I was wonderin if you were gonna catch that."

He pulled out the honey stick and drizzled some over my blondie.

I am so going to use that honey for other things later…

I took a bite and actually moaned. He grinned, "Good?" I nodded, "Heaven." He

gave me a knee weakening look as his eyes were as dark as the midnight sky and his
sexy honey voice drawled out, "Not yet, darlin…but don't you worry, we'll get there."
- 189 -
 Little did he know that he was my Heaven. Whenever he was with me…I was
already there.

We finished eating and once we were done, he took my hand and said, "C'mon,
Eddie."

His strong fingers held mine as we walked over closer to the woods. I saw a big
blanket laid out across the ground and his guitar lying on top of it. We took off our
shoes and sat down as he guided me to sit with my back against his chest. He
reached over and pulled the end of the blanket over my lap. Then he grabbed his
guitar and laid it across my lap as his hands gripped it while his arms were around
me. I sighed, content and happy as I laid my head back against his shoulder and he
started strumming it softly.

Then he begins singing softly in my ear and the heat of his breath with the sweet
honey scent lingers and I am captivated.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath

And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky

Never revealing their depth

And tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be love suicide

And I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And rain falls angry on the tin roof

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 As we lie awake in my bed

And you're my survival, you're my living proof

My love is alive, and not dead

And tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be love suicide

And I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I dropped out, I burned up,

I fought my way back from the dead,

I tuned in, I turned on, remembered the thing that you said

I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be love suicide

And I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And once he's finished, he lays the guitar down and his arms are wrapped tightly
around me. I feel completely safe and secure and loved. I tilt my head up to look into
his midnight eyes and they are on fire. I can see the love and desire burning from
within him through those angel eyes.

My body turns slightly as my hand reaches up to his chin and gently pulls his
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plump soft lips to mine. His kiss is tender and sweet…fiery and passionate…loving
and lustful…so many emotions are lingering on his lips and tongue as I begin to feel
intoxicated from drinking him in.

Together, our bodies gravitate towards the ground and we are lying side by side
locked in a lover's embrace. The long blanket is now wrapped around us as we also
lay on it. And there's something so intimate yet so freeing about all of this. I can feel
the cool wind through my hair and I can hear the crickets chirping in the forest.
We're outside now…in the real world yet we're still in complete solitude and safe
from judging eyes.

His hands slide up the back of my shirt as I begin unbuttoning his…our lips never
parting. I feel his calloused fingers brush along my spine and shoulders…and it's
excruciatingly exquisite. I gently pull away from the kiss so he can glide the shirt up
and off.

And then my lips are back home to his beautiful lips as my hands push his shirt
down over his shoulders and off. My leg is in-between his and I can feel him growing
harder against my thigh with each passing second. And I begin to feel powerful
because I am making him feel like this. My hands slide up inside the wife beater
until our lips must part again so that I can lift it up and off of his stunning, strong
body.

And he moans as my lips trail down to his neck and shoulders. His hands caress
and adore every inch of exposed flesh on my back and chest as mine do the same
exploration of his beautiful, sculpted chest.

Then I start to feel very bold. My hands travel to the button of his jeans and
quickly release it. A moment later, I'm pulling down the zipper and gripping the
sides of his jeans and boxers. He lifts his hips so I can pull them down his long legs.
I gently push him until he is lying flat on his back. My lips find his again as I kiss him
tenderly and whisper, "I'll be right back."

He looks confused as I jump up and run to the gazebo. I grab the little jar of honey
and run back. I quickly slide back under the blanket and relish in the warm heat of
his body against mine.

I lift my leg and straddle his waist. I grab the jar of honey and hold it above his
chest. As I pull out the honey stick, I whisper, "I need to drizzle some honey over my
blondie."

He laughs softly and I smile as I pull the honey stick out and watch a thin stream
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of honey fall to his neck and shoulder. I set the jar down and lean into his neck. With
long, languid licks I taste the honey from his skin and it's the best honey I've ever
tasted.

So I continue. I trail more honey down his chest and around his nipples before
running my tongue across the sticky lines and heated flesh. His soft moans are
dancing in the cool breeze around us. When I reach his hip bone, he's rock hard and
whispering my name over and over like a prayer into the crisp nighttime air.

I suck the honey from his hips and move down a little further. He gasps when he
feels the sticky pleasure drip slowly along his hard cock, starting at the base of his
shaft and trailing up to the perfect swollen head.

I set the jar down and my eyes never leave his as my tongue glides up the sticky
trail, tasting his beautiful cock for the second time today. I run my tongue up the
stiffened shaft until I reach the wet tip. My eyes are still locked with his as my
tongue snakes out and licks the slit, capturing the taste of his creamy goodness
mixed in with the sticky sweetness of pure honey.

We both moan from the feast I'm having. I lavish his hardness in long, wet licks as
my hands stroke the flesh of his thighs lovingly. I can feel the goose bumps on his
skin so I look up into his eyes and whisper, "Are you cold?"

He shakes his head and his whisper is quivering and breathless, "No…I'm very,
very warm."

Satisfied that it is me causing the prickly rise of his heated flesh, I smile and lower
my head back down, taking the head of his length into my warm mouth. My tongue
teases and swirls around his hardness as I slowly work my way down, trying to taste
as much of my love as possible.

His hand is softly brushing through my hair and the simple touch of his rough
fingertips sets my body on fire. He whispers, "Bring your legs to the side, Edward…I
need to touch you, darlin…please…"

And how could I ever deny the sweet southern boy who has brought me back to
life again.

I am on all fours as I move my legs to one side of his waist but continue the soft,
wet kiss upon his beautiful length. My eyes are closed as his hand swiftly unbuttons
and unzips my jeans. His coarse fingertips slide into my boxers and wrap gently
around my length.
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 I moan around him as his perfect rough palm moves up and down my cock
creating the most delicious friction. His thumb sweeps across my weeping slit and
coats his fingers with the wetness there.

I am lost in pleasure.

The taste and feel of satin over steel between my lips…against my tongue…down
my throat…coupled with the feel of his warm hand lovingly pumping my own satin
skin has me reeling.

My hips move back and forth to help the slow seductive pumps of his hand slide
along easily over my throbbing length. The soft moans and whispers and ragged
breaths fall from both of our lips as we love each other in the most intimate of ways.

The cool breeze carries his whispers of love to me and my tongue drips with my
love for him.

I'm trembling above him and he's quivering below me as the strength and passion
of our actions bring us to the edge of peaceful oblivion.

"Ugh…Oh God Edward…I love you so much…I'm gonna cum, darlin…"

Anxious to taste the sweetest of honey, I suck him deeply into my mouth and moan
as his sticky sweetness spills from him and into me. His body is shaking and
trembling as I continue to taste him until his beautiful cock has softened.

I release him from my mouth and sit back on my knees as his hand is still wrapped
around me and bringing me so close to ecstasy. My eyes close from the intensity of
it all and a moment later, I am completely enveloped in wet warmth.

I open my eyes and look down to gaze upon a halo of golden curls blowing softly in
the wind as he takes me into his mouth. My hand brushes through those angelic
curls as he loves me from the inside.

And everything around me melts into a dripping canvas of vivid color and hazy
hues as I spill into his warm, waiting mouth and quiver as he swallows around me,
drinking me in.

He releases me and we're both panting and shivering…unclear if it's from the
crisp nighttime air or from the intensity of our emotions.

He's on his knees now in front of me and his arms wrap around me and pull me
- 194 -
close as his lips make their way home. And then, our lips part and we taste each
other on our tongues and it's a beautiful and perfect blending of us.

He gently pulls away and rests his forehead against mine as he shakily whispers,
"We should go inside, Edward. It's getting cold out here."

But I am warm. My hands slide down his chest and feel the sticky remnants of my
feast upon his flesh. I smile, "Would you like to take a hot bath with me?"

He grins that dimpled grin and his eyes light up, "Yeah."

He pulls on his jeans and I pull mine up. He grabs the blanket and his guitar as I
grab the honey and the candles from the table. We decide to clean up the gazebo in
the morning as we rush inside to escape the chilly air.

We make our way upstairs and into the main bathroom because it has a big
garden tub. He begins filling the tub with warm water and I reach into his jeans
pocket making him gasp. I smile as I pull out his lighter and light the candles I've
brought with me.

And for the time being, I am completely forgone of any shyness because he makes
me feel bold and powerful and sexy. We strip off the remainder of our clothes and he
gets in first and guides my back against his chest.

We just lay there awhile, talking and laughing. And I am comfortable because I am
at home in his strong arms. I ask if I can wash his hair for him and he obliges. I pour
the warm water over those golden curls and run my fingers through to wash away
the shampoo.

Once I'm finished, he asks to wash mine. And to me, this is as intimate as anything
else we've done. Unconditional love and trust bind us together so completely that
it's sometimes difficult for me to know where one of us ends and the other begins.

Eventually we pull ourselves from the tub with wrinkled fingertips and toes.
Instead of binding clothes, we both pull on our robes and as we leave the bathroom,
I grab his hand and lead him to my bedroom.

He comes along easily as I walk over to my piano. I sit on the bench and scoot
back, bringing him to sit in front of me with his back against my chest. My head
rests in the crook of his neck and my arms reach around him to the black and white
keys. I whisper, "Can I sing for you?"

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 His head turns as his soft blue eyes gaze into mine, "Please."

I have played for him many times but have never had the courage to sing. Well,
tonight I'm feeling brave. My fingers begin their love affair with the keys and I sing
softly in his ear, enjoying the prickly raised flesh that I'm causing on the back of his
neck.

I am colorblind

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I am ready

I am ready

I am ready

Taffy stuck, tongue tied

Stuttered shook and uptight

Pull me out from inside

I am ready

I am ready

I am ready

I am...fine

I am covered in skin

No one gets to come in

Pull me out from inside

I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding

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 I am colorblind

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I am ready

I am ready

I am ready

I am...fine

I am.... fine

I am fine

Once I am finished, I wrap my arms around him and whisper, "I love you, Jasper."

His head turns and his blues eyes are glistening as he whispers through trembling
breaths, "I didn't know…"

I'm confused by his words and he continues, "I didn't know, Edward…all those
years and all those different girls…I didn't know that it was supposed to feel like
this, that it could possibly feel like this. I was so closed off and I never felt anything
good inside but now…God, Edward…I'm so open…exposed to every feeling and it's
so strong and scary cuz it's so overwhelming to me that I can feel this way. Am I
making any sense?"

And I smile because it makes perfect sense, "Yes. I know exactly how you feel. I
never thought someone could complete me so perfectly but you do. I know we're
young and new to these feelings but I have no doubt in my mind that they are real."

Then his lips are brushing mine as he whispers, "I love you too, Edward."

We stand and pull one another close and just hold onto our other half. He is my
other half and I am his.

After a few minutes he pulls away and smiles, "It's still early. Wanna go watch a
movie?"

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 I smile back, "Yeah. Halloween's tomorrow, so let's watch some scary movies."

For some odd reason, I loved scary movies. I couldn't watch the ones that dealt
with demons like The Exorcist or intense slasher flicks but I loved zombie movies
and cheesy 80's horror films.

We both pulled on some pajama pants and t-shirts and made our way downstairs.
We went to the kitchen and popped some popcorn, then grabbed a couple of sodas
before making our way into the family room. He sat down in the recliner and pulled
me onto his lap. I threw a blanket over us and placed the bowl of popcorn on my lap.

He flipped on the TV and I was excited to see an all night horror marathon on. I
curled into him and we ate the popcorn as we watched a bunch of fantastic cheesy
horror movies, starting with The Lost Boys.

We're laughing through the whole cheesy thing. Jasper smiles, "Corey Haim's
kinda cute in this. What do you think?"

I laugh, "That's the first time I've ever heard you talk about another guy. So,
you…um…find other guys attractive?"

He smiles, "Yeah, Edward. Don't you?"

And I don't know why but I can feel the blush in my cheeks again as I nod, "Yeah.
Corey Haim's not really my type though. I like the big brother better. His hair is
wild, he wears a leather jacket, and rides a motorcycle. He's badass."

Jasper smirks at me, "So, you like the bad boys, huh?"

I blush again and say, "I think I do. What type do you like?"

I'm surprised when he has a faint blush in his cheeks, "I think I like the shy, quiet
ones. The sweet, reserved, cute ones. So, tell me who your dream guy is?"

I just smile, "You, Jay."

He smiles back and laughs, "I mean, like, actors or musicians."

I think about it for a second and say, "Hmm…uh, Brad Pitt's pretty hot in Thelma
and Louise. He's got that cowboy thing going on, and we both know how I feel about
cowboys."

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 He laughs and I continue, "He's hot in Fight Club too. I really like that Ryan
Phillippe guy from Cruel Intentions and Matthew McConaughey…oh and Kurt
Cobain was hot as hell."

He laughs again, "You have a thing for blondes too, huh?"

I shrug, "I never really thought about it but, yeah, I guess I do. I have a thing for
southern accents too. What about you?"

He smiles and his drawl is thicker than normal and I know he's doing it because of
what I said, "Well, let's see…I reckon I like that guy who plays Spiderman, he's
pretty cute. And I kinda like that guy from the Harry Potter movies…I like the
glasses, it's pretty sexy. Um…and that guy from The Notebook, he's real sweet."

Now I laugh, "The Notebook?"

He pretends to be offended, "What? I watched it with your mom when I stayed

home from school after I got the crap kicked out of me. That's a really romantic
movie."

I smile and lean in to kiss his pouty lips, "You know, no one at school would ever
believe how hopelessly romantic you are."

He smiles and wraps his arms back around me, "Well, good. Cuz this side of me is
for you and you only. I didn't even know I was romantic until you…hell, I never had a
reason to be before I met you. You do very strange things to me, Edward."

I kiss him softly again and rest my head on his shoulder. He says, "So, when I get
my motorcycle done, are ya gonna let me take you for a ride?"

I look up at him and smile, "I'd let you take me anywhere, Jasper. The motorcycle's
a bonus but I would gladly go with you anywhere."

My phone rings and I reach over and grab it, "Hey dad."

"Hey son. What are you boys doing tonight?"

My face turns red and I say, "Um…nothing really. We're watching some scary
movies on TV. How is Aunt Celia?"

He sighs, "About the same. We should be home sometime Monday afternoon. Are
you boys still going to that Halloween party tomorrow?"
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 "Um…yeah, I think so. I'll call Bella and see if we can ride with her."

"Okay, son. Well, you boys don't stay up all night and I want you home by 11pm
tomorrow night. I'll call you tomorrow. Love you, son."

"Okay, dad. Love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

I close my phone and set it back on the end table. I lay my head back on Jasper's
shoulder as we continue watching movies and talking. Eventually, I see his eyelids
begin to drift closed so I lean in and kiss his sweet lips and whisper, "Thank you for
the perfect first date, Jasper."

His lips turn up into a lazy grin and he whispers, "It's the first of many, Edward.
Love you, darlin."

I smile and close my eyes as I drift off to sleep, "Love you too, babe."

- 200 -
 Chapter 12

Hey guys, the ankle's almost completely healed so thanks for the well
wishes! Thanks so much for the reviews too ;) Anyway, if ya'll are interested
in a good E/J vamp/human fic, check out Ignis et Glacies by rmhale!

Jasper's POV

I fell asleep in that comfy recliner with my beautiful boy in my lap. I dreamt of
honey…

God, Edward can be pretty damn kinky sometimes…I'm going to really enjoy
exploring that side of him.

The next morning I woke up and groaned at the feeling of Edward's ass pressed
into my mornin wood. He shifted in his sleep with a soft sigh and I tried to pull
myself away from him. His sleepy eyes open and he smiles a sweet grin, "Good
morning, babe."

I smile back, "Mornin darlin."

We get up and go brush our teeth before making breakfast together. Once
breakfast was done we went out and cleaned up the backyard and unstrung the
lights from the gazebo. We talked and played around for awhile outside.

Eventually, Edward called Bella to see if we could ride with them to the party
tonight. I wasn't actually thrilled about riding with Chief Swan but our options were
low. The rest of the day was pretty relaxing. We played some video games and
listened to music.

We were lying on his bed listening to the radio and talking. We had to start
getting ready for the party soon. I looked over at Edward and asked, "Hey Eddie?
Would you care if I danced with a girl tonight?" I really liked to dance but didn't
want to make him mad.

He furrows his brows for a moment and then sighs, "No, I don't care. I mean, I
guess I know you're not really attracted to them so it's not a big deal. Just…don't let
them think they have a chance with you, Jay, because we don't need any more
psycho chicks in our lives."

- 201 -
 I have to laugh at that, "Agreed. I'll dance with someone safe like Bella or Angela.
It fuckin sucks that we gotta ride with Chief Swan though. I can't wait till we can
drive."

He sat up on his elbow and looked over at me, "What's your deal with cops? I've
noticed that you don't like them."

I sighed, "Chief Swan's alright…it's just…well, most of my experiences with cops

haven't been good."

He laughed, "It can't be that bad. It's not like you've ever been arrested or
anything…"

Shit…

"Uh…actually, Edward, I have been arrested…twice actually."

He furrowed his brows, "What? How? I mean, we met when you were thirteen…"

I sighed and closed my eyes as I laid there, "I was 11 the first time. I only spent
the weekend in Juvenile that time. I was 12 the second time and spent 6 months in
boys school. I had only actually been out a month when I met you."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" He sounded hurt and I immediately regretted that I
hadn't told him sooner.

"I'm sorry, Edward. It's just not something I'm proud of and I've been tryin really
hard to not be that guy anymore. I should've told you…I guess, I just wasn't sure
how you'd react."

He sighed and grabbed my hand and squeezed it softly, "What did you do?"

I groaned internally and then sighed again, "The first time…I…fuck, I took a knife
to school and threatened a kid that had me jumped."

He gasped, "Did you…did you hurt him?"

I shook my head, "No…a buddy of mine ratted me out to a teacher and they found
it in my desk."

Well there you go, Eddie…I'm far from fuckin Superman…

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 Then he said softly, "But…you would have hurt him…if…"

I looked over in his pretty green eyes and wished I could just fuckin undo all the
stupid shit I've done, "Yeah, Edward…if they hadn't found it, there's no doubt in my
mind that at that time in my life, I woulda used it."

He was quiet for a minute and then quietly asked, "What about the second time?"

I sat up and pulled my knees up to my chin and rested my forehead on it, "The
second time…shit, Edward, I needed money real bad and my mama's boyfriend of
the moment would split the profit with me if I took his shit to school and sold it. So,
before and after school, I'd go over to the middle school and I sold drugs…pot
mostly, but sometimes X and occasionally coke to the high school kids."

He ran his hand through his hair and let out a breath he'd been holding, "What
happened? How were you caught?"

I got up and went over to the windowsill and opened it as I sat down. I pulled out a
cigarette and lit it up. I took a long drag and exhaled blowing the smoke out the
window. Then I shut my eyes, "There was this kid…Bobby Harris…he kept trying to
get me to sell to him but I wouldn't. He was a good kid, kinda geeky and quiet, he
came from a pretty bad home. I just couldn't sell to him…I don't know why but what
little conscience I had back then just wouldn't let me do it. So, he stole my backpack
that had all my shit in it. They found him in the bathroom with my backpack. He had
taken the coke I had in it that day for one of the high school kids I dealt with. But he
didn't know what he was doing and he did too much. I was really lucky that he didn't
die…but he was severely fucked up after that. His brain was badly damaged and his
nervous system got all fucked up. So, I got locked up for 6 months and when I was
released, my mama had a new guy and we moved here."

I didn't wanna face him…I didn't wanna see if the way he looked at me was
different now.

Then I felt his arms slip around my neck as he pulled me into a hug. I let out the
breath I had been holding and threw my cigarette out so I could wrap my arms
around his waist. We held onto each for a long time but he eventually pulled away
and his eyes were glistening, "You have to promise me, Jay…promise you won't ever
do anything so careless and stupid again. Promise me that you won't do anything
that will get you taken away from me. Promise me."

"I promise, Edward. I'm really sorry, man," I barely whispered.

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 He sighed and then smiled softly, "It's in the past now, Jasper. You were just a
kid…God, I hate your damn mother for all the shit she put you through."

I smiled weakly as I stroked his cheek softly, "I'm trying to let it all go, Eddie. I
really am…I'm trying so hard."

He brought his soft lips to mine and kissed me tenderly and lovingly. He
whispered, "I love you, Jay. We both have a lot to let go of but we can make it as
long as we have each other."

"I know we can, Edward. I love you too, darlin."

We spent the next hour just lyin on his bed and kissing. And when it was time to
finally get ready for the party, I felt a little better.

We decided to go as the Blues Brothers, and holy fuck, Edward looks beyond
amazing in his black suit. I was a little worried about the party tonight cuz I had
heard these rez parties could get pretty wild. I was also wishing I hadn't made that
promise to Esme and Carlisle about the drugs and alcohol cuz I was sure there was
gonna be both there and I had been itching to have a drink or a hit off a bong
or…just something after the fuckin day I had. I hated remembering how fucked up I
was.

Finally, twilight settles and Bella calls and says they're on the way to pick us up. I
laugh when we hop in the back seat and see Bella dressed in bell bottoms, a tie dye
shirt, and a sunflower painted on her cheek.

Edward laughs, "Hey there hippy chick!"

She smiles at us, "You guys look fantastic! You'll be beating the girls off you with a
stick tonight!"

We say hello to Chief Swan and he greets us back, not so enthusiastically.

He finally drops us off at First Beach and tells us to behave. There's a huge
bonfire going and a few kegs. There's a ton of people there. It looks like the whole
damn school is present and accounted for and half of them are already fucked up. I
notice that there's quite a few people here that look like they're not in high school
anymore too.

Jacob comes running up and swoops Bella up into his arms and she starts
giggling. He's dressed as a biker and shit, he looks good. I notice the guy standing
- 204 -
next to him and have to laugh cuz he's dressed like Harry Potter. Jacob sets Bella
down and says, "Hey guys. This is my cousin, Brady."

Brady smiles shyly and takes a step forward but then he trips over absolutely
nothing and instinctively, I reached out and grabbed him. His face was bright red
and his glasses fell down on the tip of his nose. I help him back to his feet and laugh,
"Shit, man…you need to lay off the sauce."

He looks confused and Jacob rolls his eyes, "He's talking about alcohol, Brady."

The poor kid turns even redder and says, "Oh…I don't drink. I'm just really
clumsy."

I smile, "Well, I'm Jasper…this is Edward."

He smiles, "I know who you are…I mean, everybody knows who you are."

"Do you go to our school? I don't think I've seen you around."

He shakes his head and pushes his glasses back up, "Um…no, I go to school on the
reservation. My parents won't let me go there because they think there's too many
bad influences."

I laugh, "But they let you come to a wild ass rez party?"

He bites his lip and smiles, "No…they don't know I'm here. I'm staying the
weekend with Uncle Billy and Jake."

I smile, "Rebel."

And he laughs. Edward clears his throat and I turn to look at him and he's got a
slight scowl on his pretty face. So I smile at him, "Wanna go find Angela and Ben?"

He nods, "Yeah…we should go, um, mingle."

I turn back to Brady, Jacob, and Bella, "Well, we'll see you guys later. We're gonna
go see what kinda trouble we can get into."

We walk around for a little while and eventually find Angela and Ben. Edward
seems to be in a better mood when he starts talking to Angela.

The sky has finally turned black and the party is in full force. Edward goes off with
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Bella and Angela and we agree to meet up later, so I sit down on a log by the fire
and smoke a cigarette.

There's a few guys there and they're passing around a joint. I sigh when it comes
to me and I pass it up…grumpily.

As I'm sitting there sulking, a big guy that I recognize from school plops down
next to me and hands me a beer. I have an inner battle and decide that just one beer
won't hurt. I take it and say, "Thanks, man."

He smiles a big dimpled grin, "No problem, man. You're Jasper Whitlock, right?"

I nod, "Yeah."

He holds out his fist for me to bump, "I'm Emmett McCarty."

I bump it and take a long draw off my beer and it tastes real fuckin good. I look
over at him and say, "You play football, right?"

He nods and downs his beer. Then he belches really loud and laughs. Then I can't
help but laugh. He starts talking to me about school and his girlfriend and well, just
everything. He tries to convince me to join the football team cuz he says I'm one of
those guys that takes a lickin and keeps on tickin. Apparently, he was there the day I
got jumped and he saw me stand up to those fuckers and get a good punch in before
they got me down.

I've seen Emmett around school. He's a junior and captain of the Varsity football
team. He seems like a pretty cool guy but I'm kinda surprised he's talking to a
freshman, even if it is me.

Then a pretty blonde walks up and I assume it's his girlfriend cuz she hands him a
beer and he smacks her ass and says, "Thanks, doll."

Then he turns to me and slurs out, "Hey man, this is the old ball and chain,
Rosalie. She's pretty."

And I laugh as she smirks and folds her arms across her chest, "We've been dating
for two weeks and he already calls me his old ball and chain!" Then she smiles at
me, "Hey, you're Jasper, right?"

I nod, "Yeah…nice to meet you."

- 206 -
 She sits down and hands me a beer and I decide…well, just two beers won't hurt.

She sighs, "Ugh…you dated that bitch Maria. I hate that skank!"

I shake my head and laugh, "Yeah…but that was awhile back and I'm done dating
girls like that…" or girls at all for that matter.

Then Angela stumbles up to me and she has clearly been drinking too. She grabs
my hand and smiles, "Dance with me, Jay! Please! Ben doesn't dance!"

I smile and let her pull me up, "Okay, darlin, I'll dance with ya." I down the rest of
my beer and throw it in the trash can as she leads me out to the beach where the
music is blaring.

We dance to a couple of songs and I'm feeling a nice little buzz. A slow song
comes on and I pull her close. I look over her shoulder and try to find Edward but I
don't see him anywhere so I ask, "Hey Ange? Where's Edward?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. Some guy started talking to him after Bella left and
then Ben came and got me."

Some guy?

"What guy?" I'm hoping I don't sound too suspicious but I wanna know who's
talkin to my boyfriend.

She shrugs again, "I don't know…he was an older guy…really good looking too. I
think his name was James but I'm pretty sure he's not in high school anymore."

I pull away now, concerned about who the fuck my boyfriend is hangin out with,
"Um…I'm gonna go find him. We'll dance more later, okay?"

She smiled, "Okay, Jay. Thanks for the dance."

I nod and take off to find him. I ask around if anyone has seen him and finally get
pointed in the right direction.

I spot him leaning against a rock with this guy standing next to him. I grit my
teeth at the scene. This guy is wearing a pair of torn up blue jeans and a leather
jacket, no shirt. He's smoking a joint and he's got his long, blonde hair pulled back
and they're both laughing. Edward has a beer in his hand and my heart fuckin stops
when I see this asshole pass the joint to Edward and he takes it!
- 207 -
 What. The. Fuck!

I walk over to them and Edward doesn't even see me as he's so wrapped up in Mr.
I Think I'm So Fucking Cool But Really I'm A Fucking Douche bag!

I clear my throat and Edward turns his head and smiles, "Oh, hey Jay."

I narrow my eyes at his new buddy and say, "Hey Edward. Ya gonna introduce me
to your new friend?"

He laughs, "Oh…um, Jay this James. James, this is my best friend, Jasper."

Best friend my ass! BOYFRIEND!

The fucker smirks at me like he knows what's going on in my head and says,
"Jasper? As in Whitlock?"

I nod, "Yeah. How do you know my name cuz I sure as fuck don't know who you
are?"

I'm aware that I'm being extremely rude but all my instincts kick in and tell me
that this is a bad guy.

He laughs, "You look just like your mom. I was a friend of hers before she split
town. I didn't know you were still here though."

Then it clicks…this is the same James that was my mom's supply guy. The fucker
is a drug dealer and he's trying to get all chummy with my Edward!

I'm practically dripping venom at this point, "Oh, I know who you are now. You
were my mom's drug dealer, right?"

He smiles like the fuckin douche bag he is, "I used to deal…I gave it up a few
months ago. I work at a club in Seattle now."

He hands the joint back to Edward and before he puts it to his lips I frown at him,
"What the fuck are you doing, Edward? You don't smoke."

He shrugs and takes a hit. Then he coughs and laughs, "It's a party, Jay. Lighten
up. Besides, I saw you drinking earlier."

James laughs and I'm seething as he takes the joint and says, "Yeah, Jay…lighten
- 208 -
up. Want a hit?"

I narrow my eyes and ask, "How fuckin old are you?"

He smiles and I can see the evil behind it, "19."

I'm practically snarling at this point, "And why would a 19 year old wanna hang
out with a 15 year old? You do know he's 15, right?"

He's on to me cuz I can read his sick fuckin face like a book, "Yeah, he told me…"
then he turns to Edward and smiles, "But he seems pretty mature for his age."

I look at Edward and he's fuckin blushing!

Then the asshole says, "Besides, weren't you hanging out with McCarty earlier?
He's gonna be 18 in a few months so I don't see what the difference is."

Just then, Emmett comes running up, "Hey, Jasper! A bunch of us are gonna play
some football and we need another guy. You in?"

I nod, "Sure, man." Then I turn to Edward and say, "C'mon, Edward…let's go play
some ball."

He shakes his head, "That's your thing, not mine…besides, they only need one
more person. I'm good here, Jay so go ahead."

And I don't wanna make a scene but it's taking every ounce of control I have to
not drag him away by his fuckin arm and knock James' teeth down his god damn
throat.

James smirks at me again before turning to Edward, "Hey, you wanna go see my
bike? You said you liked motorcycles, right?"

Edward smiles, "Sure. I'll see you later, Jay. Have fun."

And then they just walk right past me. And I don't know what to do. Is Edward
really that fuckin naïve to not know that this is a bad guy? Then it dawns on me that
Edward may be really book smart but he's not at all street smart. I can just take one
look at the guy and know he's bad…

He likes bad boys…fuck.

- 209 -
 "Earth to Jasper…"

I come back to reality and see Emmett waving his hand in front of me, "Dude! You
comin or what?"

I nod and follow him to a bunch of guys waiting on us. I take off everything but my
pants cuz I can't play football in a suit and tie. And I'm ready to play cuz I really feel
like hitting something right now.

We play for awhile and I am throwing every guy that gets near me to the fuckin
ground with a vengeance and Emmett laughs, "Man, you gotta try out for football!
You hit like a fuckin tank!"

Finally, we're all sweating and worn out so we call it a game and head back over
by the fire. I scan around to see if I can see Edward and I finally see him standing
next to fuckboys bike with him, a redhead, and a guy with dreads. They're all
laughing and dreadhead hands him another beer.

I'm seeing fuckin red.

And as I'm sure I'm about to lose it and go knock the fucker out, Brady walks up
with a beer, "Hey Jasper."

I turn my attention to the cute guy in front of me and smirk, "I thought you didn't
drink."

His cheeks turn red and he looks down at the ground, "Um…I actually brought
this for you. It's just that I saw you guys playing football and you looked really hot…"
Then his eyes go wide and his breathing hitches, "I mean…all of you guys were
sweating and stuff and…"

I smile and take the beer, "Thanks, Brady. It's alright, man…I know I'm really hot.
That was real nice of ya."

He laughs and I take a long pull from my beer.

"So, where's Jake at?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. He ditched me to hang out with Bella. Can't say that I
blame him."

I raise an eyebrow, "So, where's your girlfriend?"

- 210 -
 He looks down at the ground and shoves his hands in his pocket, "I don't have one.
Well, I don't want to, like, cramp your style or anything so I'll see you later."

He turns to walk away and I just so happen to glance up and see Edward hand his
phone to James. I watch him type something in and hand it back to Edward.

He got his fuckin phone number…oh hell no!

"Hey Brady! Wait up, man," I run over to him and smile, "Why do you think you'd
cramp my style?"

He sighs, "I know I'm kind of a dork, Jasper…"

I smile and put my hand on his shoulder, "I don't think you're a dork…you seem
pretty cool to me."

His face lights up, "You think I'm cool?"

I nod and take another pull from my beer and see Edward staring at me with a
confused look on his face.

I pull out my phone and hand it to him, "Here, man…give me your number and
maybe we can hang out sometime."

He smiles and takes the phone, "Really? That would be so cool!" He types his
number in and hands it back to me and I look back at Edward who's glaring at me
now. I smile and tip my beer to him before I finish it off and throw it in the trash
can.

And by this time, I'm well on my way to getting fucked up so I decide, fuck it. I
walk over to the logs by the bonfire and sit down as Brady now follows me.

Shit…I hope he doesn't follow me around all night.

A bunch of people are smoking and this time I hit it when it comes my way. And
it's familiar and tingly and everything feels better. I hand it off to the next guy and
once I'm done coughing I say, "Ya know, ya'll really should roll blunts with this many
people smoking."

Sam looks over at me, "I don't know how to roll a blunt, do you?"

I've met Sam a few times at Jacob's house and he's a bit older but he's a pretty
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decent guy. I nod, "Yep, anyone got a cigar?"

No one does and Sam says, "I'll go buy some. What kind do I need?"

And it's like second nature to me, "Garci Vega Greenleaf is my personal favorite."

He shakes his head and stands up, "Dude, come with me, I'll never remember
that."

So I get up and follow him to his car. We go and get the blunts and when we come
back, I look around for Edward and spot him and James talking to Bella over by the
bonfire. His eyes are completely bloodshot and he's swaying as he laughs.

Sam and I make our way back and I quickly roll a couple of blunts and everyone
starts smoking.

After awhile, I'm completely twisted. I pulled on my white button up shirt but left
it unbuttoned and left the tie undone. Then I put my hat back on and lay back
against a log and smoke a cigarette.

I look over at Edward and he looks at me but quickly looks away. He's pissed but
I'm pissed too.

Why won't he just come over and fuckin talk to me?

And here comes the depression…

Edward's been hangin out with that fucker all night…he's barely even
acknowledging my existence…I want my fuckin boyfriend back…am I losing him to
the fuckboy in leather?

I hear someone attempting to play the guitar and look over to see Paul tryin his
best to play something and I can't help but laugh cuz he fuckin sucks.

I reach over and grab the guitar, "Dude, you should be shot for makin this guitar
sound that bad. Let me show you how it should sound…"

No one at school knows that I play so all heads are turned to me, except for
Edward.

Edward loves Nirvana and the only attention I want is his. So I start playing
"Polly."
- 212 -
 And by the time I start the chorus, he's lookin at me. My eyes don't leave his as I
sing, "Let me clip, Dirty wings, Let me take a ride, Cut yourself, Want some help,
Help myself…"

When I finish, he's sitting down on a log staring at me and James is standing
behind him, arms folded and scowling at me.

That's right, fucker…

I smirk and immediately go into "Something In The Way."

My eyes don't leave Edward's as I sing in the most fuckin velvet voice I can
muster, "There's something in the way…mmm…mmm…something in the way,
yeah…mmm…mmm"

Then just to make sure I've got Edward's attention, I sing "When The Lights Go
Out" by The Black Keys and I hope to God he's remembering the first night we
touched each other.

"You can be oh so mean, I just can't see, no in between, you know what the sun's
all about when the lights go out"

When I'm done, I faintly hear everyone around me, going on about how good I
was…but all I'm paying attention to is Edward. His pretty green eyes are hooded
and bloodshot and he looks really sad…

Good…he should feel bad…

Bella comes up and bends down to talk to me, "Um…my dad is here, are you
coming?"

I am entirely too fucked up to go home with the Chief of police…and so is

Edward…

I look around and see Emmett so I tell Bella we'll get a ride from someone. I walk
over to him, "Hey man, are you drunk?"

He laughs, "Naw dude, I haven't drank the last few hours."

"Would you mind givin me and Edward a ride home? We came here with Bella and
I'm too fucked up to ride home with a cop."

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 His laughter booms, "Sure, man…I don't blame you. Let me grab my woman and
we'll go."

"Thanks, Em."

I walk over to Edward and James is sitting next to him. I sigh cuz I'm fuckin sick of
this shit, "You ready to go, Edward? We're getting a ride with Emmett."

He nods and stands up but stumbles as James catches him. And I'm fuckin done. I
shove his hands off of my god damn boyfriend and I put my arm around his waist to
help him walk cuz he ain't doin so good on his own. Then I look at James and I'm
hoping that the look in my eyes will cause the fucker to burst into flames, "I got this,
boy, so you can run along home now."

He smirks, "Did you say, 'boy?'"

I practically growl at the asshole, "You fuckin heard me, boy."

He rolls his eyes and smiles at Edward, "So, Edward, call me sometime and I'll
teach you how to ride…just like we talked about. Have a good night."

The Brady comes running up to me, "Hey Jasper, it was really nice to meet you. I
hope you call me like you said, so we can hang out."

I sigh, "Yeah, man. We'll do that. Later."

Edward groans and can barely stand.

I help him to Emmett's car and in the back seat. Em's rattling off about wanting
me to join the damn football team all the way home. Finally, we get there and I tell
him thanks and I'll think about it.

Edward manages to walk in the house by himself and he slams the front door,
"What the hell was with you all night?!"

And I'm fuckin livid, "Me?! Have you lost your god damn mind?! You're supposed
to my god damn boyfriend but every time I fuckin looked, you were up that fucker's
ass!"

He turns and screams back at me, "Well, you didn't seem to mind when you were
flirting with that little fucking Brady kid all damn night!"

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 "I wasn't flirtin with nobody! You were the one laughing and blushin at that
cocksuckin bastard's every god damn word!"

He threw his hat on the couch and kicked off his shoes. He ran his hands through
his hair then said through clenched teeth, "You started it when you couldn't keep
your eyes off that stupid boy. I saw how you looked at him."

And I'm pissed because I didn't even notice the damn boy until after I saw Edward
getting all cozy with that fuckin prick.

"Well, I'm gonna god damn finish it too, Edward! You'll call that fucker over my
dead body! Do you fuckin understand me?!"

His eyes narrow but he speaks low, "Are you actually trying to forbid me from
talking to someone?"

"You're god damned right I am! And another fuckin thing, I don't want you
drinking and smoking again! That's not you, Edward! What the hell were you trying
to pull?"

He sits down on the couch and places his head in his hands. He sighs and his voice
is quiet, "So let me get this straight…I'm not allowed to make new friends, but you
can. I'm not allowed to talk to older guys, but you can. I'm not allowed to smoke or
drink at a party, but you can. Is there anything else you'd like to add to the list of
things I'm not allowed to do but you can?"

Well…fuck, I kinda sound like an asshole when he puts it that way…

I sit down in the chair and try to calm myself down, "Edward, James is a bad guy.
He's a former fuckin drug dealer for Christ's sake and he's too old to wanna hang
out with you. You're not fuckin mature enough to hang out with a guy like that."

Then he lifts his head and he softly says, "You're a former drug dealer too, Jasper.
And he told me all about it within the first hour that we spoke as opposed to waiting
two years to tell me. And as far as being mature enough goes…I'm mature enough to
suck your dick."

Mother fuck…

I lean forward and run my hands through my hair, "Edward…I…fuck…"

He gets up and sighs, "When you pull your head out of your ass and decide to
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treat me like an equal and not like a child, then maybe we'll talk. I'm done tonight."

And he walks upstairs and goes to his room.

Oh God…I really fucked up…

My chest is fucking aching cuz I'm treating him like a god damn piece of property
and not like the boy I'm in love with. I totally disrespected him…I barked orders at
him…shit, I gotta fix this.

I walk up to his room and knock on the door cuz it's locked, "Edward? Can I come
in?"

I can hear him crying and it's my fault. He says through broken sobs, "Go away."

And I groan, "Edward, please. I'm sorry, man. Please let me in so we can talk."

"No…I don't want to talk right now…just leave me alone."

I beg and plead through the door for a few more minutes and finally resolve that
he's not gonna let me in.

I go to my room and lie on my bed for a little while and try to figure out some way
to fix this.

God I'm so fuckin stupid…why can't I just control the shit that comes out of my
god damn mouth…I made him fuckin cry…

I gotta fuckin fix this…

I grab my guitar and throw it on my back as I run down the stairs and out the
front door. I run around to the tree by his window and start climbin and prayin to
God that my stupid, drunk ass don't fall.

His curtains are closed but I settle down on the branch by his window and pull my
guitar in my lap.

Fuck…please don't fall off this fuckin branch…

I start playing and singing, "Sorry" by Buckcherry.

And by the time I get to the chorus, he pulls the curtain back.
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 I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue

I'm sorry bout all the things I said to you

And I know I can't take it back

I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds,

and baby the way you make my world go round

And I just wanted to say I'm sorry

He opens the window and my eyes start to glisten from seeing the sadness I put in
his eyes.

"Come in here, Jay, before you fall."

He reaches out and helps me climb in the window. I set my guitar down and close
the window behind me. He starts to turn away from me but I grab his hand,
"Edward, wait."

He turns back around and folds his arms across his chest.

I take a deep breath and my voice is quivering because I'm terrified that he's not
gonna forgive me. "Edward…I'm so sorry. I can't even believe the things I said to
you and the way I treated you. I fucked up, okay? I know I fucked up but I can't lose
you. I just can't, Edward. You're my whole fuckin world. Please…please forgive me."

He sighs and whispers, "Never talk to me like that again."

I nod and put my hand on his shoulder, "I swear I'll never treat you like that again,
Edward. I love you so much…I just completely lost it when I saw you talkin to that
guy."

He looks up at me, "I felt the same way when I saw you with Brady. I mean, he
was dressed as god damn Harry Potter for Christ sakes." Then he chuckles a little
and I smile, "Yeah, well fuck me if James wasn't Mr. Bad Boy incarnate. Jesus,
Edward, did you really like that guy?"

He shakes his head and smiles up at me, "No, he was kind of an arrogant asshole
but I was trying to make you jealous. I'm sorry too."

- 217 -
 Then I put my hands on his cheeks and whisper, "But I'm an arrogant asshole too."

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close as he wshipers, "Yeah…but
you're my arrogant asshole. I love you so much, Jasper…I got a little crazy too.
Maybe we should skip parties in the future."

I laugh softly as I wrap my arms around him and pull him tight against me, "Yeah,
parties are definitely done after tonight."

We hold each other for a little while and I finally pull away and kiss him.

And all I can think is that I was close to losing these lips forever…and there ain't
no way I can ever let that happen.

We kiss for an eternity and when he pulls away, he grabs my guitar and whispers,
"Will you sing for me?"

I nod and we walk over to the bed. I pull him back against my chest and lay the
guitar in his lap. I nuzzle my nose into his shoulder and kiss it softly before I start
singing "Storm" by Lifehouse.

how long have I been in this storm

so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

water's getting harder to tread

with these waves crashing over my head

if I could just see you everything will be alright

if I'd see you the storminess will turn to light

and I will walk on water

and you will catch me if I fall

and I will get lost into your eyes

and everything will be alright

I lay the guitar on the ground and lay down, pulling Edward with me. And we
- 218 -
spend the rest of the night kissing until we both fall asleep with puffy eyes and puffy
lips.

Thank God, we officially survived our first fight…

- 219 -
 Chapter 13

Songs : Imaginary by Evanescence, We're In This Together by Nine Inch

Nails

Edward's POV

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat…I had to get to the bathroom.
Luckily, I managed to get the lid up before I started hacking and throwing up.

I swear, God…make this stop and I will never drink again…

What the hell was I thinking?

As I prayed to the porcelain god, my mind ran through all the events of the night.

Harry fucking Potter…are you kidding me? Why did I even get so jealous…now
that I think about it, he hadn't talked to the kid any differently than he would anyone
else?

But that damn voice kept screaming at me…

You're not so sweet and innocent anymore…he's not going to want you…

Is it true? He likes those sweet, quiet boys…sometimes, I'm neither of those

things.

But he taught me how to be someone different…no, he taught me how to act like I

was different…I shouldn't be feeling different.

And James…seriously? What a fucking tool…like I'm not smart enough to figure
out that "we had so much in common" because he just waited till I said I liked
something and then he agreed. I mean, for fuck sakes, I told him I liked Justin
Timberlake and the dumbass said he liked him too. I'm not stupid and I sure as hell
don't like Justin Timberlake.

God, Jay looked so damn sexy singing tonight. His white shirt, unbuttoned
showcasing his strong chest, that damn hat over his windblown curls…and he was
barefoot, just like the first day I met him. Beautiful.

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 And then he had to go and scream orders at me…I bet that's how his dad talked to
him.

It doesn't make it okay though. I'm not the scared, weak, geeky kid I used to be.
I'm stronger now…and I won't let anyone treat me like that.

I shouldn't have thrown his past in his face, though, that was wrong of me. He's
nothing like James and I should have never compared them. I'm going to have to
apologize.

Finally, I leaned back against the tub and just breathed for awhile. I'm pretty sure
I'm done throwing up now.

Damn, I feel like shit.

I pulled myself up and brush my teeth as I stare into the mirror.

Man, I look like shit too…

I breathe in deeply and I'm assaulted with the stinging burn of bleach and blood…

And then I saw him…the faceless shadow in the corner of the room…

My heart drops and my breathing accelerates.

I whisper, "I see you."

I see you too…

His voice is familiar and cold and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end…

"What do you see?"

I see a lonely, lost, terrified little boy begging for the pain to go away…

"I'm not that boy anymore."

Make no mistake…you will always be that boy.

"Go away."

Never.
- 221 -
"Why?"

I am a part of you, Edward…if you don't want me here, you know what to do…

"I don't do that anymore."

That's why I'm here.

"Leave me alone."

Never.

"I don't want…I can't…Jasper will be mad at me."

Do it now!

"No."

Cut…

"No."

Me…

"No."

Out!

And then my hands were moving on their own shakily feeling underneath the sink.

Just one little cut will make me go away…will make it all feel better…

I feel around until I feel the old familiar steel blade of the razor…my salvation…

"No. Please."

I fall to my knees and my head is screaming at me…

Cut me out! Do it now!

"Please, no…wait, do you hear that?"

- 222 -
 The rain. I could hear it beating down against the roof.

The rain beating against the trunk and creeping in to cleanse me as the angels
cry…I need to get back there…I still have a chance…

I drop the razor and run as fast as my legs can go. I'm faintly aware of the
shadows that chase along behind me as they giggle and laugh.

But I know that if I can just run fast enough and feel the rain against my skin…I
can ask God to save me and maybe this time, he will.

Down the stairs and through the front door…

I fall to my knees as the stinging rain cleanses me. I pull my knees to my chest and
try again.

Please God…please don't let him hurt me…

The smell of bleach and blood and mud is thick around me and I gag on the
whispers that fall from my lips…

"Please save me…I don't want to go to Hell…take it all away…please, God…please

don't let him hurt me…"

"Edward!"

This voice is different. It's strong and melodious and beautiful.

I turn my head and there's my angel with his perfect, clear, sky blue eyes and halo
of golden curls…lightening flashes and I can see his perfect white wings stretched
out behind him as he is completely illuminated.

He's here…my angel.

He wraps his wings around me and I feel safe and warm…the smell of honey
permeates the air, drowning out the stink of bleach and blood and mud…

He pulls me in his lap and rocks me gently like my mother used to do…the
difference is, I was never safe with her. In my angel's arms, I am overflowing with
happiness and peace and comfort.

Everything's okay now…

- 223 -
 But I can feel him trembling beneath me and his quivering lips against my
forehead as he whispers, "You're okay, darlin…you're safe. Everything's gonna be
okay."

And I look up and smile brilliantly as I stroke his perfect cheek, "I know, angel.
You got here in time. He didn't break me yet…you saved me."

He's crying horribly and I don't understand, "Don't cry, angel. There's no reason
to ever cry again…he can't hurt me anymore."

You're making him cry…my beautiful angel…my beautiful Jasper…Jasper…shit…

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose trying to calm the voices inside
my head and send them away.

Oh God…what did I do now…

He's holding onto me so tight I can barely move and he's sobbing, "Please,
Edward…please stop…please be okay…please just stop…"

You're hurting him…stop…

Everything begins to slowly fade away…the laughter…the strong familiar

smells…the wings and the faceless shadows…they're all gone.

I reach up and take his angelic face in my hands, "Jasper, I'm so sorry. I'm okay
now. We need to get out of the rain."

His blue, shimmering eyes search mine as if he's looking for something. He
whispers, "Edward?"

I nod, "Yeah, Jay. I'm okay."

Then his trembling lips are against mine and I close my eyes and lose myself to
the taste of salty tears and sticky honey.

After an eternity, he pulls away and helps me to my feet. We run into the house,
both dripping wet and shivering.

He pulls me upstairs to my room and quickly pulls my shirt over my head and
helps me out of my pants. I watch as he strips down, still shivering. He pulls me into
the bathroom and turns on the hot water to fill the tub.
- 224 -
 Then he grabs a towel and runs it through my hair and dries off my face. He steps
into the tub and pulls me against his chest. He runs his fingers through my hair and
I close my eyes and listen to the strong beat of his heart.

Eventually, he whispers, "What happened, Edward?"

I sigh, "Nothing, Jay. It's not a big deal."

He tilts my chin up to look at him and his eyes are still puffy and bloodshot,
"Edward…some things are a big deal. No more lies. I want the truth…please."

I shake my head and pull away, bringing my knees up to my chin and resting my
forehead on it, "No."

He sighs, "I'm telling your dad as soon as he gets home."

I bring my eyes up and I'm mad, "No! You promised!"

He looks down and whispers, "I know I did, Edward but I can't just keep
pretending that nothing's goin on. You're scaring the shit out of me. You need help,
babe. Please, I'm fuckin begging you, Edward…for me, darlin, please, let's talk to
Carlisle."

I can't help the tears that start to fall from my eyes, "No, Jay…they'll lock me
away…they'll take you away from me. I'm not crazy…I'm just having a hard time
right now."

Lie.

He wraps his strong arms around me and kisses my shoulder, "I know you're not
crazy, Edward but something is goin on and if we don't face it now…it's only gonna
get worse. If we deal with it now, you're probably just looking at taking some
medicine and maybe counseling or something…but if we wait, Edward…something
really bad could happen. Do you trust me?"

I nod and whisper through broken sobs, "Yes."

He lifts my chin to look at him again, "Then trust me on this. They're not gonna
lock you away somewhere."

I barely manage a strangled whisper, "You're going to break up with me…"

- 225 -
 He furrows his brows and whispers, "Edward, you know me better than that. I told
you once and I'll tell you again…I don't run and I don't hide. Whatever's goin on,
we'll face it together, head on. I'm not goin anywhere, babe. We're in this together,
Edward. And I think that when we're together, we're a fuckin force to be reckoned
with. I got a theory, darlin."

I sniffle and whisper, "What theory?"

He pulls me around so that I'm facing him, my legs over his thighs as his are
stretched out behind me. He pulls me close and brushes his beautiful rough
fingertips across my cheek, "You told me once that these demons are always chasing
you, right?"

I nod and he continues, "Well, they can't chase you if you stop running. You gotta
be tired of running and getting nowhere, Edward. Our love and our bond is
unbreakable and unstoppable. Let me stand by your side and we'll face them
together."

I put my hands on the back of his neck and bring his forehead against mine. I
close my eyes and whisper, "You promise you won't leave my side?"

He whispers, "I swear."

I take a deep breath and whisper, "Okay. We'll tell my dad."

He lets out a breath and his lips pucker and graze mine as he whispers, "I love
you, Edward."

I whisper back, "I love you too, Jasper."

And we just hold onto each other for hours or days or maybe just minutes…I lose
all concept of time when he's holding me.

He eventually whispers, "Come on, babe, let's get outta here and go to bed."

I nod and we stand and grab our towels. Soon, we're dressed and he's still
shaking. I lay down in bed and he whispers, "I need a cigarette, Edward."

He goes over and sits on the large windowsill and cracks it open before lighting it
up. I get up and go sit on my piano bench and pull my legs up and wrap my arms
around them.

- 226 -
 He exhales and I watch the white smoke billow slowly out the window and into the
darkness.

He sighs and looks over at me, "If you wanna tell me what happened, Edward…I'd
like to know but I won't push you."

I look down and take a deep breath.

Should I tell him? I was upset about him keeping things from his past from me…

I slowly lift my eyes and I begin to tell him things I never told anyone…not even
the doctors.

"I haven't been entirely honest with you, Jay. I told you that I don't remember
much about my parents…the truth is, I don't recall their faces but I do remember
their eyes…and I remember lots of things that happened before that night."

He staring at me and I continued, "I was never allowed outside. My dad was
completely paranoid that I would get kidnapped or something bad would happen to
me. He wanted to protect me from the outside world but my home was hell. The only
times I was allowed to leave my room was to eat and go to the bathroom. He
wouldn't allow me to speak unless spoken too."

I took another breath and started rocking back and forth, "I was so lonely. I used
to watch the kids playing outside my window and I wanted that so badly but at the
same time, I was made to believe that the outside world was dangerous so I was also
terrified. Eventually, my dad found out I was looking outside so he painted my
window black. I was trapped in that room with no sunlight, no ties to the outside
world, and no one to talk to."

"So, since I wasn't allowed to speak…I just kind of made up people to speak to,
imaginary friends, I guess but I never spoke aloud, I kept it all in my head so I
wouldn't make my father mad. I created my own world inside my head and tried to
live there as much as possible. I'd sit on my bed for hours just lost in my own world.
I had no radio, no TV, the only books I had were a Bible and Winnie the Pooh. The
times that I wasn't living in the world I created inside my head, I would read. I read
that Bible so much that the pages eventually fell out and the words became
smudged away. I didn't even really understand what I was reading but it was just
another escape for me."

His eyes are glistening and he lights another cigarette.

- 227 -
 I take another breath, "For Christmas one year, my mom got me an art kit and one
of those little electronic keyboards. I used the art kit to make paper flowers and
clouds and animals…I glued them over every surface in my room. I would spend
hours making music on that keyboard...using it to speak for me. I was so lonely."

"On the rare occasions that I would make the mistake of speaking at the dinner
table, my father would go ballistic and shred my room to pieces…he'd rip everything
off the walls and he broke my keyboard. My mother would comfort me as best she
could by rocking me back and forth but if my father caught her, she would be
punished. So, I'd make more paper flowers and stars and moons…but eventually I
ran out of paper. I was stuck there again, alone inside my head."

I begin trembling as my thoughts drift to the night it all ended, "The last night we
were together…my mom had told me that she had planned an escape. We'd wait till
my father was sleeping and we'd sneak out. She had a small suitcase packed and
hidden underneath the sink. But I fucked it all up…"

I can feel the warm tears sliding down my cheeks now as I continue rocking back
and forth, "At dinner that night…I knocked my glass of juice off the table and it
crashed to the floor. My father was livid about keeping a clean house. He told me to
clean it up…he told me to get the bleach out from under the sink. I was too scared to
move. He got up and opened the door and saw the suitcase."

I hear the voices screaming in my head again as I take a shaky breath and
continue.

"I hid underneath the table as he grabbed my mother. He was screaming and
hitting her over and over again. He was convinced that she was possessed by
demons…and the only way to get them out…was to cut them out. I watched…as he
begin cutting…"

I feel Jasper's arms around me and now, he's rocking me.

"He began just slashing her to pieces trying to free her of the demons…he
screamed at me to watch and make sure they left her body. He asked me if I saw
them and I shook my head because I didn't see anything but my mother being
practically gutted. Her screams were gargled and weak. He pulled me from
underneath the table and forced the knife in my hand…then he wrapped his hand
around mine and made me release the demons from my mother."

I took another breath, "Once he was convinced that the demons were gone…my
mother was dead. He made me get some towels and use the bleach to clean up the
- 228 -
kitchen floor. The smell of the bleach and her blood were so thick that I kept
throwing up. I was forced to clean while my mother's lifeless body lay on the floor,
eyes wide open, staring at me."

"My dad was arguing with someone that wasn't there. The next thing I know, he
tells me that if he's going to hell, he's taking us with him. He picked up my mother's
body and told me to follow him. And I did because I was so scared. It was thunder
storming that night and so cold. He threw my mother in the trunk and then he threw
me in."

"I stared into my mother's lifeless green eyes as I heard him screaming about the
rain. He was convinced that the angel's were crying because of what he had done.
The trunk was rusted and the rain came in but for once, I could look out. I watched
the stars and the moon through the small holes and I thought that the angel's tears
would cleanse me. I thought that God would save me if I was washed in their tears. I
prayed over and over again."

He's crying softly into my neck and trembling behind me.

It's almost over…

"We drove for a long time and eventually, I see the clear blue sky and the golden
sun for the first time in years. I'm convinced that my pleas have worked and when
that trunk opens up, I'm going to be saved. But when it opens, my father was
standing over me, wild eyed and crazy. He pulls me from the trunk and just starts
hitting me over and over…he's crying and whispering that he can't release the
demons from me because he loves me too much. I was already in so much pain…and
suddenly, he just stops. He pulls me in his arms and whispers of his love for me and
that he's going to show me how much he truly loves me. He's happy now and
practically giddy with laughter. His hands are everywhere and his breath stinks of
whiskey as he tells me he loves me while causing me more pain than I had ever
known. My whole body was just…burning. It felt like I was on fire from the inside
out and I was certain that it was the demons bringing hells fire within me."

"Eventually, I passed out. When I came to…there was a beautiful man holding me
in his arms…his hair was golden like the sun and his eyes were blue like the sky. He
had wings and he wrapped them around me and suddenly I was so warm. Later, I
realized the truth…that man had been a hunter in the forest that day. He killed my
father and what I thought were wings, was really just his coat. But it felt so real…I
not only saw it but I felt it."

Jasper's arms were strong around me and his honey breath washed over me, "Are
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you seeing things now, Edward? Are you hearing things?"

I sigh, "Yes…I can see them, hear them, feel them…hell, I can even smell them. I
know it's not real but when it's happening, it's just too real and I can't help but
believe it. I had always heard voices in my head because I put them there but after
that night…they were no longer the voices of my friends and I was no longer in
control of my world. The first time I saw the shadows, I was 11 and it was after a
particularly bad day at school. That's when I started cutting…I guess I was trying to
release the demons because my dad never did. The first time I smelled the mixture
of bleach and blood, I was 12."

He hold me even tighter and whispers, "Do you…do you think that I am an angel
when you're having one of these…um…"

And for some reason, I start laughing, completely aware that's it's inappropriate
but unable to control it, "Delusions…hallucinations…you can say it, Jasper. And to
answer your question, yes. I see your eyes as blue as the sky…your halo of golden
curls…and even your perfect white wings. Tonight, when you found me, I know that
you wrapped your arms around me but what I saw and what I felt was your soft,
white wings wrapping around me. God, I'm fucking crazy. They're going to lock me
up and throw away the damn key."

And I just can't control the hysterical laughter from taking me over.

He looks at me with concerned eyes, "Why are you laughing?"

I just shake my head as I try to make the laughter subside, "I am so fucked."

He takes my face in his hands and once again he's searching my eyes for
something. Finally, I stop laughing and wipe the tears from my eyes. I smile, "Let me
guess…my eyes are wild and bright right now."

He sighs, "You're not your father, Edward…"

I laugh, "No. I am my father's son. I read that damn bible over and over and you
know what I remember?"

He whispers, "What?"

I sigh, "Deuteronomy 5:9 'I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the
children for the sin of the fathers."

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 He furrows his brow, "You think you're being punished for what you father did?"

I shake my head, "I don't know what I believe anymore, Jasper. I'm just…"

And then, I'm just completely drained, "I'm just really tired, Jay. Can we just go to
bed for tonight?"

He sighs and says, "Yeah, Edward. C'mon."

He grabs my hand and we go over to the bed and crawl in. He pulls me to his
chest and runs his fingers through my hair. It doesn't take long before I hear his soft
snores but even though I'm exhausted, I just can't sleep.

Eventually, I watch as the sun rises in and the darkness disappears. I finally close
my eyes and drift off to sleep.

I wake up to the sound of Jasper talking. I open my sleepy eyes and he's still lying
in bed with me with his phone to his ear. He signals the 'shh' sign to me as he talks.

"Yeah, Carlisle, everything's fine here. We'll see you tomorrow then. Bye."

He flips the phone shut and lays it on the night stand. He pulls me close and
whispers, "Mornin, darlin."

I suddenly feel very embarrassed as the memories of last night come barreling full
force into my mind, "Um…good morning, Jay."

He smiles a soft smile, "How ya feelin, Edward?"

I sigh, "Okay, I guess…kind of embarrassed."

He tilts my chin up to look at him and whispers, "We've been through too much
together for you to be embarrassed in front of me. Please don't ever feel that way."

He smiles and leans down to kiss my lips. When he pulls away, I finally smile back,
"Thanks, Jay."

He wraps his arms around me and sighs, "For what, babe?"

I hold him close and bury my nose in his neck, breathing him in, "For never
making me feel like a freak. For sticking by me when most people would be running.
For being you, Jasper."
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 He kisses my shoulder and whispers, "I love you, darlin."

I whisper, "I love you too."

We get up and go to brush our teeth when Jasper sees the razor blade on the
ground that I dropped last night. He picks it up and sighs but doesn't say anything.
He takes it downstairs and throws it in the trash, then takes the trash out to the
curb.

When he comes back in, I'm sitting at the kitchen table and I mutter, "I'm sorry."

He smiles at me, "Hey, you didn't use it, Edward…I'm real proud of you for
dropping it."

We forgo making breakfast this morning and opt for cereal instead. Once
breakfast is finished, Jasper decides to do our laundry because he said it reeked like
pot and beer.

I'm sitting on the dryer watching him pour the detergent in, I've never done
laundry before and watching him be so domestic is really pretty damn hot.

He smiles over at me, "What?"

I shrug and can't help the smile on my face, "It's kind of hot watching you do
laundry."

He laughs and raises an eyebrow, "Oh yeah?"

I nod and he gets a wicked grin on his face as he closes the lid and starts the
washer. He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me over to sit on top of the
washer. He's standing in-between my legs and lifts them up to wrap around him. His
arms are wrapped around my waist and mine go around his neck and my fingers
wrap in his honey curls.

His lips crash into mine with a ferocity and his tongue delves deeply into my
mouth causing me to moan into his. This kiss is deep and wild and fierce. I can feel
him growing harder as he rubs up against me. A moment later, he lifts me up and
carries me to the kitchen island. He sets me down and breaks away from the kiss
and his eyes are sparkling and hooded with lust.

I smile and whisper breathlessly, "Jesus, you're fucking strong, Jasper."

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 He smiles and goes to the fridge, "I'm a man on a mission, Edward."

I laugh, "And what mission is that, Jay?"

He opens the fridge and pulls out the chocolate syrup. He walks over and he's
wearing that wicked, sexy grin again as he raises and eyebrow and sternly says,
"Lose the clothes, pretty boy."

And his words go straight to my cock as I fumble because I can't seem to get my
damn clothes off fast enough.

I finally throw the last of those damn cock blocking clothes to the ground and
shiver a little from the feeling of the cold counter under my ass.

My poor mother would kill me if she knew what I was doing on her kitchen
counter.

He pulls his Ipod from his pocket and quickly docks it into the docking station by
the sink. My mom likes to listen to music as she cooks.

He smiles, "This is our song, Edward."

I smile back, "We have a song?"

He nods, "Yep. 'We're In This Together Now' by Nine Inch Nails."

I laugh, "That's quite perfect, actually."

He nods again and picks up the bottle of syrup and flips the top open.

He drizzles some syrup on the crook of my neck and I tremble from the
combination of it's chilliness and anticipation for what's to come. His hot tongue laps
up the syrup with a soft groan. He sucks and nips and licks my neck and shoulders
before trailing down.

He wshipers, "Lay back some, darlin."

I lean back on the countertop with my elbows and he drizzles the cold, sticky
chocolate around my nipples before continuing his heavenly torture with that
perfect hot, wet tongue and soft, plump lips.

I moan and my cock twitches against his chest as he circles my nipple with his
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tongue before sucking it between those lips. Once he licks me clean, he begins to
trail the sticky syrup down the center of my stomach until he reaches the bronze
curls below.

I'm moaning and breathing heavily as his hands are on either side of me, holding
onto the counter and his eyes are on mine as he licks that hot little tongue of his out.
He takes one long lick from the start of my curls and goes all the way up, lapping up
the chocolate stream and sucking the sticky, sweetness that has pooled in my belly
button.

My body is on fire but it's fanfuckingtastic…

My head lulls back and I moan his name. I feel him smile against my skin and it
only causes more goose bumps and trembling.

Then I feel the cold, sticky syrup trailing down my shaft and along the head of my
throbbing cock. I moan loudly when he wastes no time and just plunges his
scorching mouth down my shaft and hollows his cheeks as he sucks roughly all the
way back up.

My head is swaying and the moans are falling from my lips at a staggering rate as
he continues these long deep movements, taking my cock all the way down his
throat and back.

And God knows, I'm no expert when it comes to blow jobs but it's just not possible
for anyone to be better at this than he is. He takes me down his throat again and one
of my hands reaches out to his honey curls and run my fingers through them. He
moans around my cock and the vibration cause my hips to buck and my hand
inadvertently tightens in his hair and pushes him down a little.

I start to apologize but he moans again and it happens again and he moans
again…it's like a viscous, wonderful cycle. So I whisper through ragged breaths,
"You like that, Jay?"

His head nods just once and his hands reach out to my hips and clench it tightly.
He pulls up for a second and looks up at me through long lashes and deep blue eyes.
His drawl is thick when he pants out, "Fuck my mouth, Edward…"

And then he plunges back down on my aching cock and I groan loudly, "Oh fuck…"

My hand tightens in his hair and instinct takes over as start bucking up and
pushing him down, but still being careful not to be too rough with him.
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 He's moaning around my cock and I hear the distinct sound of a zipper so I look
down and watch as he takes his own impressive cock in his hand and begins
pumping himself furiously.

And it's all just too much. I feel my whole body tighten and I grasp his hair even
tighter and scream, "Gonna…cum…oh…god…oh…fuck!"

And then I release deep down his throat as he swallows around it and drinks me
all in. He quickly raises up and before I can even get to his beautiful cock, he
screams, "Mother fuck…god damn…ugh…Edward!"

And he's spilling onto my cock and stomach before he just collapses on top of me.
It takes us several minutes to recover and when he finally lifts up, we're both just a
complete sticky mess.

He smiles, "Shower?"

I nod, "Yeah and then we need to scrub down the counter."

He laughs and we head to the shower…where we I end up sucking him off this
time. The day pretty much continued like that…suck, touch, kiss, grind, moan,
cum…not in that particular order.

As we lay in bed that night, exhausted from our lust filled day, I remember
something, "Hey Jay?"

"Yeah, babe?"

I look up into his pretty blue eyes, "I need to apologize for comparing your past
with James last night. That was pretty low and I hope you know I didn't mean it."

He smiles, "We both said some things we didn't mean, Edward. It's over and
forgotten."

I smile, "We did act pretty stupid last night, didn't we?"

He laughs, "We're 15, man! We're gonna do a whole bunch of stupid shit before
we make it out of adolescent hell. We just gotta stick together, babe. We'll be just
fine."

I hope you're right, Jay…

- 235 -
 We fall asleep pretty early that night and I'm dreading the conversation with my
dad the next day but I know as long as I have Jasper by my side, I can make it
through.

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 Chapter 14

Songs : Hollywood Undead - Young, The Cranberries - This Is The Day,

Kings of Leon - Crawl

Jasper's POV

It doesn't take long for Edward to fall asleep. The boy was insatiable today. I
barely had time to recover before he was on me again…not that I minded. In fact, it
was a really good day. We seemed to effectively avoid any discussion about last
night's events. I never really said anything about it to him cuz quite frankly, what
the fuck could I say?

What do you say to someone you love more than life itself when they pour out
their pain and suffering like a sieve? You just fuckin absorb as much of it as possible
to try and alleviate at least a fraction of their pain. It's not like there's anything I can
say that's gonna take that shit away. So I just listened and held him and cried for
him.

He has no clue how strong he really is. I mean, if I had to live through what he
went through…I know without a fuckin doubt that I would've ended up dead or in
prison by now. Just the thought of what he's been through makes me so fuckin angry
that I can barely contain myself.

I mean, seriously what the fuck is wrong with people?! Why the fuck do these cock
suckin fucktards reproduce if their only gonna fuck us up?! Why the fuck didn't
anyone step in and save him?! Surely, someone had to know that he was fuckin
trapped inside that god damn hell hole! You mean to tell me that no one saw him in
that fuckin window?! Or no one wondered why it was painted black?! What about
the fuckin grandparents or uncles or cousins or some god damn body?! Why do
people insist on lookin the other fuckin way when it's the life of a child at stake?!

No, fuck that! It's more than the life of a child at stake, everybody's life is on the
fuckin line cuz these kids that are just fuckin tossed aside and neglected and abused
and fuckin tortured…they grow up! And then, society wants to talk about what a
monster that person is when they coulda been fuckin saved as a god damn child and
never unleashed on society in the first fuckin place!

It's a never ending fuckin cycle and kids just keep fallin through the god damn
cracks! And people wonder why kids are goin fuckin crazy nowadays! It's because

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people aren't raising their god damn kids! We shouldn't have to raise ourselves! He
was six fuckin years old for fucks sake! Why the hell wasn't he in school?! Surely
someone knew that he existed outside those god damn walls?!

The fuckin "system" that's in place to protect kids is a mother fuckin joke! We just
get pushed around and picked apart until we're so god damned fuck up that we go
to school and start offin people, then they sure as fuck notice us! I've been in the
fuckin system on more than one god damn occasion and did anyone give a flyin fuck
what happened to me after I was dragged through fuckin hell and back?! Fuck no
they didn't! No one fuckin cares until it directly effects them and then they wanna
cry and scream about 'where were the parents', well fuck that! Where were the god
damn neighbors or teachers or doctors or any fuckin body?! Fuck!

God damn, I need a fuckin cigarette…

I slowly slide out from underneath my beautiful boy and go to the window. I open
it just a crack and take up residence on the windowsill as I light one up. I inhale
deeply and close my eyes as I try to calm myself down cuz I'm beyond worked up
right now.

I'm worried about tomorrow but I know it's necessary. He's been holdin this shit in
for way too long and it's just slowly eating away at him. I really wish we could just
tell Carlisle about us cuz the thought of not bein able to at least hold his fuckin hand
when he goes through this shit, makes my fuckin chest ache. But I think that it
would just be too much for him right now.

And my only concern right now is helping Edward cuz, yeah I love him like there's
no tomorrow but he's also my best fuckin friend and I can't stand to watch him
suffer. If I just knew what was wrong with him then I'd feel better about the
outcome.

I look over at the computer and throw out my cigarette. I make a mental note to
collect the butts outside tomorrow before Carlisle gets home and I go over to the
computer and start researching.

Schizophrenia

Symptoms - Hallucinations, delusions, disorganized speech/thinking,

disorganized behavior, catatonic behavior, unusual motor behavior (pacing,
rocking), poor memory, social isolation, blank facial expressions or a flat voice

Okay, well Edward hits some of these but not all of them.
- 238 -
 I continue my research and stumble upon post traumatic stress disorder.

PTSD

Symptoms - Flashbacks, hallucinations, nightmares, problems relating to others,

including feeling or showing affection; difficulty falling or staying asleep; irritability;
outbursts of anger; difficulty concentrating; being "jumpy" or easily startled,
increased arousal or hyper arousal.

Well, hell, Edward hits some of these too, but I think he has more of these
symptoms than schizophrenia…maybe he was having this hyper arousal today cuz
the boy attacked me all day long…again, not that I minded.

I look over at the clock, 2AM. I know I should go to bed but my mind is racing and
I'm still pissed as hell and fuckin depressed on top of it. I decide to go down to the
garage for a little while and beat the fuck outta the punching bag.

I beat the fucker like it owes me money and finally, I'm exhausted and can barely
lift my arms. I sit down on the weight bench and just take in deep breaths until I'm
finally calmed down.

I drag myself up to Edward's room and he's still sleeping like a baby. I go to the
shower and strip off my clothes before climbing in. I let the hot water just wash over
me as I put my hands against the wall and just keep reminding myself to fuckin
breathe cuz my mind keeps lingering back to what he told me…

"I was so lonely."

"I was trapped in that room with no sunlight, no ties to the outside world, and no
one to talk to."

"I just kind of made up people to speak to, imaginary friends, I guess but I never
spoke aloud, I kept it all in my head so I wouldn't make my father mad."

"I used the art kit to make paper flowers and clouds and animals…"

"I was so lonely."

And my mind is invaded with images of my beautiful bronze haired boy, at five
years old sitting in that room all alone…it doesn't take long until my head is on my
arm against the wall and I'm crying like a god damn baby.

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 And all I can keep thinking is 'Why him?' 'Why did this happen to him?' 'Is he ever
gonna be able to recover from this?' 'Why?'

Finally, I've cried until I just can't cry anymore. I clean myself up and drag myself
into bed.

I put my arms around my everything and pull him close to me. I bury my nose in
those bronze locks and breathe him in…and it's calming, peaceful cuz I know that
when he's in my arms, he's safe. No one will ever hurt him again as long as I'm
fuckin breathin.

I drift off to sleep just as the sun begins to rise.

I wake up to soft kisses on my neck and it makes me smile before I even open my
eyes. I whisper, "Mornin darlin."

And I hear, "Good morning, babe."

I open my sleepy eyes and am met with the most beautiful green eyes I have ever
known. He smiles that incredible crooked smile, "I made you breakfast in bed, Jay."

I look over and he's brought up a tray with blueberry pancakes, juice, and a single
red rose. I smile and sit up, "You're a damn good boyfriend, you know that,
Edward?"

He smiles shyly as he brings the tray over and sets it on the bed, "You're damn
good too, Jasper."

We eat breakfast and talk a little. Carlisle called and said he'd be here in four
hours and Esme was going to stay a few extra days with her sister. So after we
eat…we go at it again.

A couple hours later, we still haven't left the bed and we're lying there naked and
sweaty and completely satisfied. He raises up on his elbow and looks over at me
hesitantly. I mimic his position and say, "What's wrong, Edward?"

He sighs and starts plucking at the bedspread, "Um…I was thinking about
something…but I…I'm not sure how you'll feel about it."

I reach out and grab his hip, pulling him closer to me so that our naked bodies are
touching again, "What is it, darlin?"

- 240 -
 He lays his head on my shoulder and whispers, "I…um…well, I might need you
when I tell my dad. I can't imagine going through that again without touching you
and I don't know how you'd feel about just telling him about us too."

I let out a sigh of relief and smile, "I think that's a good idea, Edward. In fact, I
was thinking about it last night but didn't think you'd wanna do it. This will be good,
babe. We can just get it all out and stop hiding."

He smiles, "Really?"

I nod, "Yeah. I don't think it'd be a good idea to come out at school yet but your
mom and dad are incredible. I can't imagine that they'd be really pissed or anything
about it…shocked, maybe, but pissed, probably not. Besides, the way we're goin, it'd
be a whole lot better to just come clean now before they catch us in bed together."

He laughs, "Yeah, you're probably right about that."

We got up and took a quick shower. We got dressed and were lying on his bed
kissing when we heard the garage door open. Edward pulled away and his breathing
quickly accelerated, "I can't do this, Jay…please don't make me…I just can't…"

I sighed and held his face in my hands, "Breathe, darlin. I know you're scared,
Edward but we gotta do this. I swear to you, it's not gonna be nearly as bad as
you're thinking. No more secrets, baby. I'll be right by your side, okay."

He's going into panic mode so I pull him close and hold him tight to try and calm
his trembling body, "Edward, it's gonna be alright…you're strong enough to face
this, babe. I've never known anyone as strong as you are. You can do this. We can do
this. No more running, darlin."

He pulls away and takes a few deep breaths and then he nods, "Okay."

I smile and whisper, "I love you."

He smiles back and takes one more breath, "I love you too."

Walking through that damn bedroom door was one of the most difficult things I've
ever done in my life. Truth be known, I was fuckin scared as hell but I couldn't let
Edward know that. He needed me to be strong so that's exactly what I was gonna
be.

We walked downstairs just as Carlisle came in through the garage, "Hey boys."
- 241 -
 Edward's head was down and he was holding onto his elbow, still taking deep
breaths. Carlisle's smile faltered, "Son, what's wrong?"

I figured I better take the lead, "Um…Carlisle? Edward and I need to talk to you
about a few things and…um…they're kinda big."

He looked very concerned as he walked over to us, "Are you boys alright? Did
something happen?"

I shake my head, "We're okay. Nothing happened really…well, um…God, this is

hard…we should probably sit down."

He sits down on the recliner and I immediately think about falling asleep with
Edward on my lap in that recliner. I can't help the smile that comes across my face
and when I glance over at Edward, he has a slight blush to his cheeks and he's
wearing that crooked grin, so I figure he's thinking about it too.

Edward sat down on one end of the couch and I sat on the other. I look over at
him and he looks absolutely petrified. So, I figure it's time for me to man the fuck up
and take control, "Carlisle, you and I have a pretty open relationship and you know
how I am. You know that I don't beat around the bush or sugar coat stuff so here it
is…Edward and I are more than just friends."

Carlisle lets out a breath and nods for me to continue.

So I take another breath and just let it all out, "The thing is…we're not just
experimenting or something like that. I love your son more than I ever thought
possible. And he loves me. We're good together and I think we bring out the best in
each other. I'm sorry for keeping it from you but I just hope you know how difficult
this is for us. But you gotta know that I would never do anything to hurt Edward or
any of you. You're the only family I have. I swear to you, Carlisle, that I'll always
treat your son good and do everything in my power to be good for him."

He looks over at Edward who's bright red and looks like he might pass out cuz his
breathing is pretty damn shallow. So, I reach out my hand and he looks at me for a
second before gulping and then placing his hand in mine. Almost immediately, he
lets out a deep breath and smiles shyly up at me and I can't help but grin back.

Carlisle watches our small interaction and calmly says, "Edward? What do you
have to say?"

Edward takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before he just spits out, "I love
- 242 -
Jasper more than…well, anything. I need him, dad. My life was so horrible before he
took me under his wing and helped me. He gives me confidence and makes me feel
strong and unafraid and…loved. I can tell you with the utmost confidence that
Jasper has saved me from so much pain and heartache and he's given me my life
back. I can't lose him. I won't. I love him."

I look over at Carlisle and he has his head down in his hands. My heart is
pounding outta my chest until I see him lift his head and he's wearing a small grin,
"I wondered how long it was going to take you two to come clean."

I was shocked, "You mean, you knew?"

He shook his head and laughed softly, "Yeah, I didn't know you were in love but I
knew you were…um, more than friends. When you were in the hospital, Edward was
beside himself with worry. He wouldn't leave your side for any reason. And I've seen
the way you boys interact with each other and it's clearly more…intimate than that
of friends."

Then he smirks, "And I also saw Edward throw you out of his bed before I left."
Then he looks over at Edward and quirks an eyebrow, "Nice save, by the way, son.
Dropped a book, my ass. I would've called you boys out on it then but with
everything that was happening, I didn't think it was the right time. I was hoping you
would come to me before I had to go to you. I'm proud of you boys. I know this must
be very difficult."

And I'm floored. I've never been with someone before and their parents actually
like me. So, I'm pretty psyched.

Then he sighs, "This does bring up some things that I need to discuss with you
boys. There are some things I need you to understand and really listen to, okay?"

We both nod and he continues, "Being in any relationship at such a young age can
be so difficult and overwhelming at times, especially considering the circumstances
you two will be facing. I don't know what you're planning to do with your friends or
when and if you plan on coming out at school, but I believe you boys are responsible
enough to handle it with pride and dignity, whatever you decide. That being said,
you're both still very young yet and I'm not questioning the validity of your feelings
but I need you to understand that if something should ever happen and you decide
that you no longer want to be together, it will be very difficult since we're all living
under one roof. So I ask that you be careful and remember your friendship before
anything else and always respect the other. Please know that your mother and I will
be here for you both, no matter what. As long as you don't give me a reason not to
- 243 -
trust your judgment, then I will step aside and trust you both."

Then I notice as Carlisle's cheeks turn red and he looks down at the ground for a
moment before clearing his throat. He finally develops his 'doctor' voice and says,
"Now, are you boys having sex?"

Edward gasps and my eyes go wide as I stammer, "Uh…no sir. No, we're not
having sex."

He lets out a sigh of relief and then continues, "Do you plan on having sex?"

Edward gasps again, "Dad!"

I know my face is on fire, "Um…well, no. I mean…oh, God…not any time soon."

Carlisle smiles, "Hey, son, I have to ask because it's my job to protect you both.
That being said, whenever you do plan on taking your relationship further…and I
pray that it's many years down the road…anyway, when and if it happens, I'm
adamant that you boys practice safe sex."

Good God just fuckin strike me down now…

The look on Edward's face, I'm sure mimics mine as I manage to squeak out, "Yes,
sir."

Then Carlisle leans back in his chair and I can see that he has gone fully into
doctor mode as he begins describing the importance of condoms and monogamy.
But then…then, things definitely go south fast.

"Also, I want you boys to know that there are certain provisions that can make
anal intercourse much less painful and less likely to cause unnecessary rips or tears
in the anus by method of preparation…"

Now God! Strike me down now for the love of all that is fuckin holy!

"Oh my God! Dad?! Please…God please…I will never have sex if you keep up this
discussion!" Edward looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel and I am most
certainly more uncomfortable than I have been in my whole fuckin life.

Carlisle just raises an eyebrow, "Too much?"

Edward is pinching the bridge of his nose and redder than I have ever seen him,
- 244 -
"Yes, dad. Please no more right now."

Carlisle shrugs and says, "Alright, boys. Well, let me say one final thing and then
we'll move on…"

He leans forward and looks at us both sternly, "If I should ever walk into one of
your rooms and find you in bed together, I will unleash your mother and ground you
both until you're 35, got it?"

I nod, "Yes, sir."

Edward nods too and then Carlisle smiles, "Now, you said you had a few things to
discuss with me…was there something else?"

Edward looks over at me and his face is etched in worry and I hate that this is
gonna hurt him so badly…but I know it has to be done.

So, I speak up, "Carlisle…Edward is having some difficulties dealing with his
past."

Carlisle's smile immediately falters as he looks at Edward, "What's going on, son?"

I watch as Edward pulls his knees up to his chin and begins rocking back and
forth. His forehead is on his knees and his eyes are already starting to tear up. And I
just can't stop myself.

I scoot over next to him and wrap my arm around his back and he immediately
curls into my side and starts crying. I run my fingers through his hair and whisper,
"Shh, darlin…everything's gonna be okay."

Carlisle is now sitting on the coffee table in front of us and I can see the concern
in his eyes as he whispers, "Son…you can tell me anything."

And Edward grabs my shirt with his fists and he's shaking and sobbing
hysterically. I lift his chin so that I can look into his eyes and the pain in them causes
my heart to break all over again…but I have to be strong…I can break down later.

I whisper, "Do you want me to tell him, Edward?"

He nods and whispers through broken sobs, "Please…I just…I can't…please…"

I nod and kiss his forehead as he buries his face into my chest again.
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 I look up at Carlisle and take a deep breath before I begin telling him everything
that Edward told me about his past and the hallucinations he's been experiencing.
He listens intently as I rock Edward back and forth in my arms.

When I was finally finished, I was relieved that I wasn't sobbing hysterically. But I
managed to keep it together for Edward's sake. He had stopped trembling and was
now just holding onto me for dear life. Carlisle was sitting on the coffee table with
his head in his hands and his eyes were glossy like mine and I knew he was doing
the same thing I was and just trying to keep it together.

Very quietly he said, "Edward, son, look at me please."

Edward took a deep breath before lifting his head and looking at his dad. Carlisle
reached out for his hand and Edward took it, while simultaneously grabbing my
hand with his other one. Carlisle grabbed my other hand and we all just sat there for
a minute breathing in and holding onto one another.

Edward finally whispered, "Are they going to lock me away again?"

I watched as a few tears slid down Carlisle's cheek and he squeezed our hands,
"No, son. No one's going to take you away from us. I know that you're scared, son.
You think that you've inherited your biological father's disorder, correct?"

Edward nods, "Am I going to go crazy? Am I going to hurt people?"

Carlisle shakes his head, "No, son, you're not crazy and you could never hurt
anyone. I'm not an expert in psychology, that's not my area of expertise, but it
doesn't sound like schizophrenia to me. I believe you are experiencing Post
Traumatic Stress Syndrome."

Now I spoke up, "Yeah, I was reading about that last night on the internet and
that's what I thought, Edward."

Carlisle nods and Edward wipes his eyes, "Really?"

I whisper, "Yeah."

Carlisle speaks again, "Son, I think that what you're going through can be
completely manageable with the right medicine and counseling. I have a good friend
who's an excellent therapist. I'm going to call him and make an appointment for you
as soon as possible. I need you to be completely honest with him about everything
that happened and everything you're experiencing. You must understand the grave
- 246 -
importance of being honest about this, son. I know you're scared but I swear to you
that we'll get through this and we'll get you the help you need. It's nothing to be
embarrassed or ashamed of and I can't tell you how proud I am that you came to me
with this. I can't imagine how difficult that was for you. Your mother and I will be
right by your side every step of the way, son and I know that Jasper will be. You
won't be alone in this…you'll never be alone again."

He pulled Edward into a hug and I couldn't help but smile cuz even though I'll
never get the image of Carlisle talking about anal preparation outta my head…I
think this all went pretty damn well.

Carlisle then pulls me into the hug with them and whispers, "You are two of the
strongest boys I have ever known. I hope you both know how truly amazing you are."

After a minute, he pulls away and smiles at me, "Son, could I have a few minutes
alone with Edward? And then I'd like to speak with you alone as well."

I nod, "Yes, sir." He smirks, "Enough with the 'sir' crap, Jasper. Just because
you're dating my son doesn't mean I'm going to start cleaning my shot gun in front
of you or anything. Nothing has changed, son."

I finally smile, "Alright Dr. C. I'm gonna go get some fresh air." I stand and
instinctively reach over and peck Edward's lips. Carlisle quirks an eyebrow and I'm
just at a loss for what I just did in front of him so I just shrug and mumble, "I'll be
outside."

I walk outside and around to the back of the house and lean against the sturdy
brick structure. I pull out a cigarette and light it up, hoping that I can finish it before
Carlisle wants to speak to me. I close my eyes and just let my mind wander a little
while about how truly lucky we are to have someone as understanding as Carlisle on
our side. That's the way a parent should be…never forsaking their children for any
reason.

I'm lost in my thoughts and don't realize that Carlisle has slipped out through the
patio door and is now standing in front of me with his arms folded across his chest. I
hear him clear his throat and my eyes open.

He smirks, "Busted."

I stammer, "Uh…sorry, Carlisle. I just…" then I'm stubbing out my cigarette and
shoving the butt in my pocket as to not litter his yard.

- 247 -
 He lets out a breath and runs his hand through his hair. Then he shocks the hell
outta me again as he smiles and leans against the wall next to me, "Can I have one
of those?"

I'm sure my expression was classic cuz he laughs, "What can I say? I'm only
human, son, and it's been one hell of a weekend."

I smile and hand him a cigarette and my lighter…then I figure, fuck it, and light
myself up one too. He exhales with a sigh, "For the love of God, do not tell my wife
of this."

I laugh, "Your secret's safe with me, Carlisle. I didn't know you smoked."

He gives me a half smile, "I quit 7 years ago when we adopted Edward. There was
just something about that boy…his eyes…he just seemed so lost and so lonely when
Esme and I first met him. There was no way I could leave him in that place for one
more day. He was afraid to speak to me for almost a year after we adopted him. He
would spend hours in his room everyday either reading or staring out the window.
We were at my brother's house for Christmas when he was 10 and Edward sat down
at his piano. I didn't know he could play. He plucked around at the keys for awhile
and once he closed his eyes…he just began playing. It was beautiful."

He takes another drag and continues, "We bought him a piano as soon as we
returned home but it was in the family room. He wouldn't leave his room to play it so
we eventually moved it up there. He would play that thing for hours. He saw doctor
after doctor and none of them seemed to be able to reach him. I couldn't reach him.
Before he met you…Esme and I didn't know if we'd ever be able to reach him and
pull that brilliant boy from the hell he was so submerged in."

Then he smiles softly at me, "So, tell me son, how'd you do it? How were you able
to do what no doctor was able to do?"

I smile and just shrug, "I don't know, really. I mean, I was lost and lonely too so I
guess we just kinda connected. Kindred spirits and all that. Did Edward ever tell you
that I beat up some boys that were bullying him?"

He shakes his head and smiles, "No, he never told me that."

I smile, "Yeah…I guess I just really wanted Edward to look up to me. I used to be
that boy that got picked on and bullied. I never really had a reason to try and be
good but Edward gave me a reason. He still had a hard time after that day but I
worked with him everyday on looking people in the eye and pretending to have
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confidence even when you really didn't. I'm pretty good at reading people…kids are
really easy to read. If you just act like you're the bomb, they'll pretty quickly follow
suit. Edward's a good looking boy so that was pretty easy. Well, and I also went back
to the playground a few days after we met and put out the word that if anyone
messed with him, they'd have to answer to me. My reputation was already in place
so I just kinda shielded Edward until people could really get to know him. Cuz you
can't possibly know him and not just love him."

Carlisle smiled, "That's true. Thank you, Jasper. I can't even begin to imagine
where my son would be right now if you hadn't stepped in. You're an incredible boy,
son and one day, you're going to be an incredible man."

I smiled and probably blushed a bit, "Thanks, Dr. C."

He put his hand on my shoulder and looked serious again, "How are you doing,
son?"

I sigh and shrug, "Okay I guess. I mean, I'm worried as hell and mad as all get out
but what can we do but just dust off our britches and keep on walking. I learned a
long time ago that life is hard and it's rarely fair…you can either be a victim and
succumb to it, or you can just fight and survive. I'm no victim, Carlisle. I'll always be
a survivor."

He smiles, "That you are, son. Most adults don't have half as much sense or will
that you've got. You never cease to amaze me and I'm really blessed to know you."

I smile as he stubs out his cigarette, "Thanks, Carlisle…I feel the same way."

Then he sighs, "Well, I guess I need to go make some phone calls. I was wondering
if you would do me a favor, Jasper?"

I nod, "Yeah, man, anything."

"I'd like for you to get some counseling too. You've had a tough life, son and now,
with what Edward's going through…I would just feel a whole lot better about
everything if you'd agree to see someone. You're one hell of a strong boy, Jasper, but
I know that even shoulders as broad as yours must be feeling pretty weighed down
by now."

I groan and then actually whine, "Ugh…Carlisle…"

He laughs, "Now, you see…that's how a 15 year old boy acts."

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 I smirk, "Fine. I'll go. Happy?"

He smirks back, "Yes, I am. One last thing…"

I raise an eyebrow in question and he just smiles, "Try to quit smoking and if you
do partake in the habit…please don't let Esme find out. I've grown pretty fond of my
balls and I'd like to keep them."

I can't help the laughter that overtakes me. I really appreciated the fact that
Carlisle treats me like a friend and an adult, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to
actually listen to and respect him cuz I tend to just get pissed when people treat me
like child. I may be 15, but I'm no fuckin child.

Before he walks in the house, I call out, "Hey, where's Edward?"

"He said he was tired so he went to take a nap."

I sigh and wish I could go up there and curl myself around him. Carlisle stops and
sighs, "You can go on up there, just leave the door open and keep in mind that I will
be checking in…often."

I smile, "Thanks, Carlisle."

He smiles back, "Anytime, son."

I take the stairs three at a time and knock softly on Edward's door before pushing
it open. He's sitting on his windowsill looking out but then he looks over at me and
smiles sweetly, "Hey Jay."

I smile and open the door all the way and leave it open as I walk over to him. He
raises an eyebrow and I shrug, "New house rule, I guess. No closed doors."

He sighs and whines, "Ugh…you've got to be kidding me. How are we ever going
to be alone?"

I sit down on the windowsill opposite him and flash him an evil smirk. I lean into
his ear and whisper, "I'm no stranger to having to sneak around to get a little action,
Eddie."

His breathing hitches and he turns his head as his lips brush along the shell of my
ear and he whispers in that low, husky sex voice of his, "I want you, Jasper. Now. I
don't care where you take me…just as long as you take me. And I don't care where
- 250 -
we go…as long as I cum."

I pull away and he's wearing that cocky ass crooked grin that goes straight to my
dick. Now, there's this place that I've been wanting to make out with Edward at ever
since I first saw it and I'm thinkin that now is my chance. So, I smile and whisper,
"Hold onto that thought, babe. I'll be right back."

He looks at me inquisitively and I just cock my eyebrow and smirk as I get up and
walk out of his room. I run down to my room and open my guitar case. From one of
the inside pockets, I grab a clear plastic baggie that I used to keep my pills in but
now it's empty. I pull out my purple Crown Royal bag and open it up. I reach in and
pull out two condoms, quickly stuffing them and the baggie in my pocket before
returning my bag to it's pocket and shutting the guitar case.

I walk back to Edward's room and he's still sitting on the windowsill. I lean on his
doorframe and fold my arms, "Well, you gonna cum…or what?"

He smiles and gets up, and follows me to Carlisle's office. I knock on the door and
when he tells me to come in, I push open the door and say, "Hey, do you care if we
go for a walk? We need some time to talk and get some fresh air."

He smiles, "Sure, boys, just be back by 6 and we'll order a pizza for dinner."

I nod and close the door. I grab Edward's hand and lead him down the stairs and
out the front door. He whispers, "Where are we going?"

I turn and smirk at him, "I hope you meant what you said about it not mattering
where we went as long as you came."

He looks curious as I lead him down the front porch steps and over to the side of
the house. We slip in through the side garage door and poor Eddie looks really
confused…until I walk over to Carlisle's black Vanquish and lift the car cover from
the passenger side.

He gasps and whispers, "The Vanquish?"

Fuck yeah, the Vanquish…

I just nod and open the door, "Get in."

And I realize that it's kinda wrong for me to fool around with Edward in Carlisle's
Vanquish...but, fuck it, I'm 15 and this is a god damn Vanquish for Christ's sake.
- 251 -
 He hesitates for just a second before hopping in. Now, from my personal
experience of fuckin around in cars, it's always safer to use the passenger side seat,
that way you don't run the risk of accidentally honking the horn when things get
heated.

I reach down and use the lever to lay the seat back and Edward's lying there with
that beautiful smirk on his face as I crawl in on top of him.

Once I shut the door, the car cover falls back in place, effectively hiding us from
prying eyes. My knees are on the seat in-between his legs and I lean down with my
elbows on either side of his face. His legs are spread open to give me room to lay
down and I can feel him growing harder by the second.

I attack his fuckin mouth and waste no time pushing my tongue in. He moans
deeply as his fingers lock themselves in my curls. I start rubbing myself against him
rough and fast cuz he really like that shit.

Eventually, I pull away from his hot little mouth and lean back on my knees with
my elbows resting on the dash behind me. He gasps out with shallow breaths, "Why
the fuck did you stop?"

I look at my beautiful boy through hooded eyes with a deviant smile and whisper,
"Pull my dick out."

His breathing hitches as his hands go to my jeans and make quick work of the
button and zipper before reaching his soft, strong hand inside and gasping when he
notices I've gone commando. He looks up at me and I just smirk.

His mouth can't quite reach my dick from the position we're in but that's not my
plan anyway. I smile down at him as he strokes my pulsing cock in his hand. Then I
whisper, "Now, take your cock out and stroke yourself for me, Edward."

He groans as his hands fall to his zipper and it doesn't take long until his
impressive dick is being pumped by his own hand. He must notice the predatory
look in my eye cuz he just smirks and leans back against the seat with one hand
behind his head as strokes his shaft in long, slow movements.

I whisper, "That's a real good boy, darlin."

After a minute, he smiles that evil little smile and whispers, "Wrap those rough
fingertips around your thick cock and imagine you're fucking me. Hold on tight, Jay,
but I'm sure it won't be as tight as me."
- 252 -
 Now, I love me some sweet, shy Eddie but god damn, I fu-huckin- love me some
dirty talkin Eddie…

My cock is already pulsing as I wrap my hand around it and start stroking myself
with a fuckin vengeance. We're staring at each other, eyes hooded with lust, shallow
breaths from parted lips, and we're ready to fuckin devour one another.

I quickly reach in my pocket with my free hand and pull out a condom. I rip the
top off with my teeth and Edward's eyes get wide and he whispers frantically, "I
didn't mean I wanted that now! I'm not ready for that!"

I smile down at my beautiful boy, "Shhh, darlin…do you really think I'd pop your
man cherry in a fuckin car? Although, if you were gonna lose your virginity in a
car…this'd be the one to do it in."

Now he blushes and I laugh, "Relax, Edward…I just don't wanna get any nut on
Carlisle's seats."

He smiles and releases a breath he'd been holding, "Oh…okay."

I raise an eyebrow and whisper, "Have you ever put a condom on before,
Edward?"

He shakes his head as he now lazily strokes his pretty cock. I smirk and whisper,
"Well, I could teach ya, if ya want?"

His lips curl up into that crooked grin and he whispers, "Yeah, I like it when you
teach me new things."

I nod, "Alright. Well, I'm gonna put yours on and then I want you to put mine on.
Can you do that for me, sugar?"

He nods but doesn't say a word.

I let go of my cock and pull the condom from the wrapper before stuffing the trash
in my pocket. I place it on the head of his dick and whisper, "Okay, you gotta
squeeze the tip like this…" I show him and he's watching intently. "Now, with your
other hand, you grasp it around the head and firmly roll it down, like this…" I do
what I say and roll the condom down his big, hard cock until I reach his soft, bronze
curls.

I smile, "It's important to make sure you got it on there right and tight, Edward, so
- 253 -
it don't slip off."

He nods and licks his lips as his dick twitches in my hand. Now, I lean back again
and grab the other condom from my pocket, "Here ya go, Eddie. Let's see what you
got."

He takes it hesitantly and starts trying to open it. He's not having any luck as he
fumbles with it and I laugh, "Use your teeth, baby, just be sure not to rip the
condom."

He blushes and carefully uses his teeth to rip off the top. And god damn, it's fuckin
sexy. Once he pulls the condom out, I take the trash and shove it in my pocket. His
hands are trembling slightly as he places the condom on the head of my cock. He's
in deep concentration and it's the fuckin cutest thing I think I've ever seen.

Once he rolls it down to my blonde curls, he looks up at me with a happy smile,

"Did I do it right?"

I smile, "Yeah, darlin, you did real good."

Fuck, I love this boy…

He has a beautiful smile on his perfect face as he leans back against the seat. I
lean down over him and take his rigid shaft in my hand and whisper, "Jerk me off,
Edward."

Like the good boy he is, he reaches down and wraps his hand around my pulsing
cock and starts stroking me as I do the same to him. My knees are still on the seat
between his legs and he's spread open wide for me.

And I'm surprised how good he feels even through the damn latex but I need a
little oral stimulation as well. So, I look into his deep green eyes and moan softly,
"Tighter, Eddie. I wanna imagine that I'm fuckin that sweet little ass of yours."

He moans as his head lulls and he tightens his grip. I start nipping at his jaw and I
can feel him twitching hard in my hand so I whisper, "Do you like that thought,
darlin? Me pounding that tight ass of yours…your fingers clenching my hair and my
hand around your big, hard cock pumping you as fast as I fuck you…"

His eyes close and he moans, "Oh fuuuckkk!" And he's cumming hard as his whole
body shakes. I smile, "Yeah I guess you do like that thought, huh?"

- 254 -
 His eyes open and he's looking at me like he could just fuckin eat me up. He
quickly shifts to his side so that now, my back is lying against the seat as he strokes
me fiercely. He leans down and kisses me hard and my hands wrap themselves in his
hair.

After a moment, he pulls away with that evil smirk and whispers, "Now, I want you
to imagine that I'm fucking your perfect tight ass…my big, thick cock sliding in and
out as I hover above you and fuck you senseless…"

I moan, "Oh God…"

He leans down and starts nipping my jaw as he whispers, "You can call me God if
you want to…just as long as you know that it's Edward fucking Cullen making you
feel like this. No one will ever make you feel the way I do…you're mine, Jasper. Do
you understand me?"

And, fuck, I'm on sensory fuckin overload as I nod furiously. He chuckles softly
and whispers, "That's not good enough. I want to hear you say it. Who the fuck do
you belong to?"

No one has ever talked to me the way Edward is talking to me right now…and god
damn, I don't think I've ever been so fuckin turned on in my life. I wrap my arms
around his neck and manage out a strangled, "I belong to you, Edward. I'm all fuckin
yours, baby…"

He smiles that evil fuckin grin and whispers, "That's right. You're mine. I fucking
own you and don't you ever forget it."

And I can't fuckin hold back as I grunt his fuckin name with my head on his
shoulder and cum harder than I think I've cum in my life. And he whispers, "Good
boy."

Fuck yeah, he owns me. And if God does exist…he just gave me the best hand job
in all of fuckin creation.

Once I've filled that god damn condom, I fall back against the seat and try to
regain my breathing. I whisper, "Jesus fuckin Christ, Edward…"

He leans over me and kisses me softly and whispers, "You own me too, Jay. I'm all
yours. Forever."

I whisper against his soft lips, "I love you so much, Edward."
- 255 -
 He smiles against my lips and whispers, "I love you too, Jasper. So much."

After a few moments for me to regain my composure, I sit up and slide the
condom off my dick and quickly tie it up. I whisper, "Take off your condom and tie it
up, like this, Edward."

He does as I say and I pull out the plastic bag. He laughs and says, "Geez…you
were really prepared for this. You're like a boy scout."

I smirk, "Not like a boy scout…like a solider, darlin."

He laughs again and once both condoms are in the bag, I pull out the trash from
my pocket and put it in there too before tying it up. We quickly get our jeans zipped
and buttoned before I open the car door and reach out to push the car cover up.

He gets out first and then I exit the Vanquish, readjust the seat, and do a once
over to make sure that we've left no evidence behind. Then I shut the door and
replace the car cover.

We leave the garage through the side door and he whispers, "What if my dad sees
the bag in the trash?"

I smirk and say, "What do you think I am, an amateur?"

We take off walking down the street and I'm pretty fuckin happy cuz tomorrow is
trash day so everyone's garbage is sitting out on the curb. We go down a few houses
and I slip the bag in someone's trash can and Edward laughs, "Oh my God, you're an
evil genius!"

I smile, "No…I'm a sexual deviant, there's a difference."

He just shakes his head and laughs. We head back home and spend the rest of the
night eating pizza and watching TV with Carlisle. He has made Edward an
appointment with a therapist tomorrow and me one on Thursday. We had to go back
to school tomorrow so we went to bed pretty early and as I lied in my bed, I thought
to myself that life can be pretty fuckin hard and rarely fair…but sometimes, it was
really fuckin good.

- 256 -
 Chapter 15

Thank you guys so much for your reviews. I just love reading them. They
really make my day.

Edward's POV

I laid in bed that night and for the first time in…well, forever, I had a feeling that
things were going to be okay. My shoulders felt lighter from having so much weight
taken off of them. I smiled thinking back to my dad's private conversation with me…

As soon as Jasper left the house my dad turned back to me with a warm smile,
"Are you feeling better now, son, having things out in the open?"

I smiled, "Yeah…I've been kind of freaking out about it all day. Thanks for being so
cool about everything, dad."

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "I can be pretty cool for an old man."

I smiled, "You're only 37, you're not that old."

He chuckled, "So, you're in love, huh?"

I nodded and couldn't help but grin at the thought of all Jasper had done for me.
He had pretty much single handedly had the whole conversation with my dad for
me. He was the bravest guy I had ever known.

My dad smiled, "Well, he certainly seems to love you very much. I remember the
first time he came to our house for dinner. He was telling us about a story about
growing up on his grandma's farm and you laughed. It was the very first time I ever
heard you laugh in almost 5 years. I prayed and prayed that you boys would hit it off
and you'd finally find a real friend…and my prayers were answered and then some."

I smiled, "Yeah, he can always make me laugh."

My dad moved and sat next to me. He put his arm around me and I laid my head
on his shoulder, "For the next few months, I watched as everyday you came out of
your shell more and more. Finally, you got to the point where you were laughing and
smiling even without him being around. So, let me let you in on a little secret, son?"

- 257 -
 I looked up at him and he smiled down at me, "People don't have to have wings to
be angels."

I laid my head back down and sighed, "Yeah, I know. He'll always be an angel to
me."

Now he sighed, "Son, please know that you can come to me with absolutely
anything and I will never turn my back on you for any reason. Also, Edward, if you
ever have any questions about your feelings or…um, sex, please come to me. I
imagine that the reason behind some of these episodes is because of your newly
developing hormonal state."

I groan and he laughs, "It's nothing to embarrassed about, son."

I look down and speak quietly, "You don't think I'm a freak?"

He squeezes my shoulder and laughs, "I most certainly don't think you're a freak.
I've kissed a couple boys in my day…"

Now my head shoots up, "Really?"

He smiled, "Yep. The first time I was 13 and it was my best friend, Colin Walker.
We were just experimenting and we felt more comfortable kissing each other at that
point. But, we got girlfriends pretty soon after that and found out that we enjoyed
kissing them more."

It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't know that much about my dad, but I
wanted to rectify that situation.

I smiled, "What about the second time?"

He laughs and his cheeks turn red, "The second time I was in college. I was at a
frat party and well…I was pretty drunk. I don't recall his name. Hell, I would've
never even known it happened if there wasn't pictures..."

Now, I'm laughing because I could have never imagined my straight laced surgeon
father drunk at a college party and kissing a boy whose name he didn't even
remember.

He finally stops chuckling and he smiles down at me, "Not what you expected
from your old man, huh?"

- 258 -
 I shake my head while my giggling subsides, "No, I never would've expected that."

He smiles, "How about tomorrow, after your appointment, we go out to lunch, just
you and me? I imagine there's quite a lot we don't know about each other but I'd
really like to fix that."

I smile back, "Yeah, I would too. Thanks, dad."

He pulls me into a hug and sighs, "You are very welcome, son. I love you,
Edward."

"I love you too, dad."

Finally, I drift off to sleep and I dream of college parties and kissing Jasper.

The next morning I'm awoken by a soft knock on my door. I open my eyes and see
my strong, beautiful boyfriend smiling at me, "Wake up, sleepy head."

I smile, "Good morning, babe."

He leans over and kisses me softly and smiles, "Well, I gotta go to school but I
wanted to tell you I love you before you left."

I smile, "I love you too, Jay. I wish you could go with me today."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "I know, Edward but you've gotta learn
to talk about this on your own. It's really important to just get it out there and be
honest, babe."

Then he leans over and kisses below my ear and whispers, "Just because I won't
be sitting next to you, doesn't mean I won't be with you, Edward. I'm always with
you, remember that, darlin."

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to me in a strong hug. And I
realize that he's right…he's always with me.

He eventually leaves for school and I get ready to go to the doctor. First, my dad
takes me to the hospital where they have to take blood and run a few tests. My dad
said this was a precaution for any medication they might give me. That takes a few
hours and it's lunch time.

We go to a small diner and have burgers and fries and we talk. I never realized
- 259 -
how funny and…real my dad was. He wasn't perfect, he was as flawed as everyone
else and that just kind of made him more perfect to me. He told me stories of
growing up and more college stories. He told me about the first time he saw my
mom and how he just knew that he was going to marry her one day. They first met
in school when he was 15 and she was 14.

Finally, it's time for my appointment with Dr. Greene. My dad sits with me for the
first 15 minutes and then leaves me to talk alone. At first, I'm very nervous and kind
of clam up…but then I remember what Jasper said so I just close my eyes and begin
talking.

The time passes quickly and I feel exhausted when we're finished but hopeful. Dr.
Greene seemed like a pretty nice guy. He never pushed me, he just let me talk while
he listened. My dad had pushed the blood work through so he prescribes me Zoloft.
And as I'm leaving his office, he smiles warmly and says, "Edward, if we work at
this…I do believe that you'll eventually be able to come off the medicine."

That's a huge relief. By the time me and my dad stop and fill my prescription, we
grab some take out because it's already almost 5pm and Jasper should be home by
now.

I run upstairs to Jay's room and knock softly before walking in. He's sitting on his
bed with books spread all around him and a tablet of paper that he's writing in. He
smiles, "Hey, babe! How'd it go?"

I walk over and sit on the bed facing him, "Good, I think. They gave me a
prescription and the doctor was pretty nice."

His beautiful dimpled grin is on full display, "That's great, Edward. I'm really
proud of you. So, what did they give you? Zoloft?"

I furrow my brows, "Yeah, how'd you know that?"

Then I look down at the books lying open on his bed and I see one of my father's
medical journals, a dictionary, and a medical dictionary.

He smiles, "Well, when I got home I wanted to see if your dad had any books on
PTSD. So I went to his office and found this journal but then I didn't understand half
of what I was reading so I found a dictionary…" Then he laughs, "But then I figured
out that I needed a medical dictionary to understand the terminology…"

And once again, he has just simply blown me away, "You're researching my
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disorder?"

He reaches out and grabs my hand, "Well, yeah, babe. If it's something you got,
then I wanna have as much information about it as possible. I figured there might be
things I can do to help, ya know. I thought that maybe if I could figure out what the
signs are when you're getting ready to have one of those attacks, that maybe I could
learn how to stop them or just help you through them the right way."

And I just can't help myself…

I lean over and my fingers are wrapped in his golden curls as I pull him roughly to
me and crash my lips to his. He gasps and I take the opportunity to taste the sweet
honey of his tongue.

His hands have went to the sides of my face as I push him back against the
mattress and over top all the open books.

A moment later I hear, "Edward…quit attacking Jasper and let's go eat."

I pull away with wide eyes and look to see my dad leaning against the doorway
with a smirk on his face. I blush and stand as Jasper stands with me. Jasper mutters,
"Sorry Carlisle."

He just laughs and puts his arm around Jasper's shoulder, "Don't worry about it,
son. You're just too damn good looking for your own good…" Then he lets out an
exaggerated sigh, "I have that same problem."

I just shake my head and laugh. My dad is the shit.

The rest of the evening goes really well. We eat and do homework. Then Jasper
asks me to play the piano for him before he goes to bed. The night ends with a sweet
goodnight kiss and I finally drift off to sleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night from a mild nightmare. I'm sitting in my bed
taking deep breaths when I hear a soft knock on the door. My mom walks in, "Hey,
baby, you okay?"

I nod and manage to get myself calmed down enough to speak, "When did you get
back?"

She smiles and sits next to me, "About an hour ago. Your Uncle Tony dropped me
off. I was just making some chamomile tea, would you like some?"
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 I nod and we go down to the kitchen. She pours us both a mug of tea and we sit
down at the kitchen table. She looks tired but she smiles, "Your dad said it went well
today. How are you feeling?"

I shrug, "Okay, I guess. So, dad told you everything?"

She smiles warmly and takes my hand, "He did." Then she sighs, "I'd like to tell
you about how your father and I got together, if you'd like to listen?"

I smile, "Sure, mom."

She squeezes my hand and then takes a drink of her tea before speaking, "We met
when he was 15 and I was 14. We both went to a private Catholic school on the
upper east side of Chicago. Your father was an only child to Patrice Cullen. His
father died when he was just 10 years old in a car accident. His mother was a real
piece of work…very high class and well to do."

Then she smiles, "My mother was a teacher at the school, that's the only reason I
could attend. My family was very humble. My father was a steel mill worker and I
have two sisters and two brothers, so money was very tight. Anyway, the school was
sort of separated into preppies and scrubs. Your father was a preppie, I was a
scrub."

"I adored your father from the first moment I laid eyes on him but I believed he
was truly out of reach. When I was 16, imagine my surprise when he asks me to the
school dance. Of course, I didn't have the money to go so instead, he decides to skip
it and we ended up just hanging out for hours on my front porch stoop."

"We began dating and we were very much in love. After several months, he asks
me to dinner at his home so I can meet his mother. It was a nightmare. His mother
insulted me the moment she laid eyes on me. She said that I wasn't good enough to
date a Cullen and I needed to go back to the slums where I belonged. I was
devastated. Your father got into a very heated argument with her but at the end of
the night, I broke it off with him."

I mutter under my breath, "What a bitch…"

My mom raises her eyebrow and then starts giggling, "Super Mega Bitch
Supreme."

We laugh for a moment and she continues, "Anyway, your father tried everything
to get me to change my mind but I just felt that she was right…that I wasn't good
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enough for him. He graduated a year later and left for college. I became a waitress
in a diner in the slums where I belonged."

Then she takes a drink of tea and a deep breath, "One night, I was walking home
from a late shift."

I watch as her eyes begin to glisten and her breath becomes shaky, "I was
attacked. They beat me within an inch of my life…and I was brutally raped."

I gasp and now my eyes are starting to glisten. She continues, "I woke up in a
hospital with your father by my side. He was a medical student and when he heard
what had happened…he was beside himself. I was in and out of it for a few days.
Apparently, Carlisle had never left my room during that whole time. When I came
too…I found out that I had been so damaged that they had to perform a
hysterectomy at the ripe old age of 19. I was devastated. I was nearly comatose for
three months. I was aware of everything going on around me but I just couldn't
bring myself to care…I felt like I didn't belong in this world anymore."

"Your father would read and sing to me even though I didn't outwardly
acknowledge any of it. Then one day, he had missed a brunch with his mother and
her friends. She found out where he was and she came storming into my room,
screaming that I was trash and she was his only family and if he didn't choose her
over me, then she would cut him off and no longer pay for his schooling."

Now, I watched as her lips turned into a soft smile, "I heard him say something
that struck me and I realized that it was one of the most important lessons I ever
learned. He told her that family is not made of flesh and bone but rather heart and
soul. He said that I was his family and he would not leave my side."

I smiled, "So, what happened?"

She smirked, "Well, Patrice cut him off and he had to leave medical school. I had
such a hard time after the attack but slowly, he brought me back. He started
working at a gas station and I found a job as a receptionist. We got married at the
courthouse downtown."

"Karma's a bitch though and 6 months later, Patrice had a heart attack and passed
away. Your father wasn't upset because she had been nothing but a nightmare to
him for all those years. So, the estate went to him. He went back to medical school
and he even helped me go through Interior Design school. But eventually, we
wanted a child. We were expecting to get an infant but one day we were visiting a
friend of his from medical school for lunch. He worked at the hospital you were in.
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As we were leaving, I spotted you sitting on the windowsill in the rec room. You
were staring out the window and for some reason, I was just drawn to you."

Her eyes were glistening but she wore a beautiful smile, "When I got closer to
you, I noticed you were humming the song from Winnie the Pooh. And when I looked
into your eyes…I just fell in love. I knew that you were my family and I wanted so
desperately to pull you from that abyss, just as Carlisle had done for me. But I
became so worried when it seemed that we just couldn't reach you."

Then she laughs, "Now, along comes Jasper. I see you really laugh and smile for
the very first time. I used to watch you boys together in the backyard. He was
teaching you how to look people in the eye and how to use slang and what it meant.
He would have practice conversations with you and he never said anything negative
to you, instead he would just make suggestions. And when you got something right
he'd tell you how great you were and your whole face would just light up. It was
really beautiful."

I smile shyly at the memories, "So, you're okay with us?"

She smiled and grabbed my hand, "Yes, baby. I love Jasper. He's my family just as
you are. How could I possibly be upset for someone seeing how wonderful and
special you are and just wanting to love you?"

I squeeze her hand and softly say, "Thanks, mom."

She smiles, "You're welcome, sweetie. Now you've got to go to school tomorrow so
why don't you go get some sleep."

I lean over and kiss her cheek and she pulls me into a strong hug and whispers, "I
love you, baby."

I whisper back, "I love you too, mom."

And the next morning, Jasper and I hold hands as we walk to the breakfast table
and my parents just smile.

We make our way to school and our respective lockers as Jake and Bella come
walking up. Jake says hey before walking over to Jay but Bella stops and smiles,
"Hey Edward. You weren't here yesterday…are you feeling okay?"

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 I smile back, "Yeah, Bella. I just had some stuff I had to do."

She smiles sweetly, "Okay. Well, I'm glad everything's okay. You were pretty
wasted at the party the other night so I was a little worried."

I just laugh, "Yeah, definitely not my finest hour."

"Well, we need to start working on our biology project so I thought maybe we

could get together Saturday afternoon at my house. I think Jake's planning on
having Jay over to work on the bike. Angela's going to spend the night so it will just
be the three of us. What do you think?"

I shrug, "Yeah, that's fine with me."

She smiles, "Okay, well I'll see in class. Bye."

"Bye, Bella."

Jacob and Jasper are laughing about something and I watch Bella walk up and slip
her arms around his waist. They quickly take off and Jasper and I part to begin our
day.

Tanya is fawning all over me in class but I don't have the heart to be mean to her
so I just smile and try to be friendly, but not over friendly.

The day passes pretty quickly and finally we're at lunch where I get to see Jasper
again. I sit down at the table and everyone's already there except for him. After a
few minutes, he walks in laughing with Emmett and Rosalie.

They walk over to the table and Jay says, "Hey, ya'll mind if they sit with us?"

We shake our heads and I'm amazed that Juniors actually want to sit at our table.
They're both a little scary looking but Jasper seems fine with them so they must be
decent. He introduces them around the table and they sit. And I've heard that
Rosalie is a major bitch but she actually seemed pretty friendly.

I must've had a look of shock on my face because she smirks, "I'm not a bitch to
everyone, Edward…only those that deserve it."

Emmett smacks Jay on the back, "So, man, seriously…football. You need to join."

Jasper shrugs and sighs, "I dunno man…"

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 Emmett whines, "Aww…c'mon, man! I need someone on the D-line with me that
can actually hit. Besides, it looks great on college resumes."

Jasper thinks about it for a moment before finally conceding, "Ugh…fine. But I'll
tell you one damn thing…I am not attending any fuckin pep rallies. I don't do pep
rallies."

Emmett laughs, "That's cool, Jay, we usually sneak out of them anyway."

And I smile because the thought of Jasper in a football uniform all hot and
sweaty…yeah, that's nice.

Just then a little black haired pixie girl comes bouncing to the table, "Oh, hey
Rose! I was wondering where you were. I've been looking everywhere for you and
you know it's hard for me to see over half the Neanderthals in this cafeteria! Are you
going to introduce me?"

Rose smiles as the girl sits next to her, "Hey, guys, this is my best friend Alice.
She's not on crack, she just acts that way."

Alice scoffs and Rose laughs. Then Alice looks at Jasper and smiles, "Wow! I love
those jeans! Did you get those at that little boutique in the mall? Ya, know, the one
by Hot Tropic…do you like to shop? I'm going to the mall on Sunday. You should
come, I need a shopping partner and Rose has plans. A boy who buys jeans like that
just must enjoy shopping. And I can…"

Jasper grabs her by the shoulders and laughs, "For the love of God woman! If you
calm your little pixie ass down, maybe I'll go shopping with you."

She smiles, "Really?"

He laughs and lets her go, "Sure, I need to start Christmas shopping anyway."

She bounces in her seat, "That's so awesome! I'll pick you up on Sunday
afternoon. A boy shopping partner…this is going to be sooo great!"

The rest of the week passes by and soon it's Thursday and Jasper has left for the
day for his doctor appointment. I thought it was really great of him to agree to go.
Maybe it will help him some to be able to talk about his past and it helps me feel like
maybe I'm not such a freak for being in therapy.

As I'm walking home, a motorcycle pulls up next to me and I hear, "Hey, Edward!"
- 266 -
I turn and look to see James.

Just great…

I just smile and keep walking. He keeps in stride beside me, "Do you wanna ride?"

I shake my head no and keep walking. He parks the bike and comes running up
next to me. He grabs my shoulder and turns me to him, "Hey, what's your problem?"

I just sigh and pull my shoulder away, "I don't have a problem…I just don't need a
ride."

He frowns, "I thought you liked me."

I frown back, "Well, you thought wrong."

He takes a deep breath, "You were into me on Saturday night, Edward. I know I
wasn't picking up wrong signals…"

I just shake my head, "I don't know what you're talking about and I really have to
get home."

I turn and start to walk away when he grabs my arm and jerks me back. His eyes
narrow and he's pissed, "Is it because of your boyfriend? Because I don't want a
relationship with you, Edward. I just thought we could have some fun…maybe I
could teach you what it's like to be with a real man…"

I jerk my arm away from him and quietly say, "I don't know what you're talking
about."

He laughs, "Bullshit! I know a twink when I see one."

What the hell did he call me?

I just furrow my brow and again say, "I don't know what you're talking about.
Jasper is my best friend, not my boyfriend and I am really not interested in you so
please leave me alone."

He then grabs both of my arms roughly and I drop my backpack as he grips me

tight. It really hurts and I wince and try to get away but his grip tightens, "You tell
that little cock blocking boyfriend of yours, that I don't take kindly to being called
boy."
- 267 -
 Just then someone grabs his shoulder and yanks him away from me. I hadn't
noticed Emmett's car pull up and he and Rosalie jumped out. Emmett grabbed James
by the arms and lifted him up, "Doesn't feel so good, does it asshole?"

James squirms and Emmett drops him to the ground, "Now, get on your little
fuckin schwin and pedal your ass outta here."

Rosalie ran up and grabbed my backpack, "Are you okay, Edward?"

I just nod as I rub my arms where he held a death grip on me. James jumps and
scurries to his bike but not before yelling, "You tell your little boyfriend, that this
shit ain't over!"

Oh, that's just great…

He takes off and Emmett turns to me, "What the hell was his deal?"

I shrug and shakily say, "I don't know…that guy's a weirdo."

He just nods and wraps his arm around my shoulder, "C'mon, man…we'll take you
home."

I graciously accept and once we're in the car, Rosalie looks back at me with
concern, "You sure you're okay?"

I nod, "Yeah…he just freaked me out a little. Thanks for stopping."

Emmett smiles as we pull in front of my house, "No problem, Eddie. If that jerk off
bothers you again, you let me know. I hate that asshole."

I nod, "Okay. Thanks again."

They pull off and I walk in the house. Jasper and my mom are in the kitchen
making dinner. I walk in and smile, "Hey. That smells really good."

My mom smiles, "Hi honey. How was school?"

We talk a little and I finally say, "So, Jay, how'd it go today?"

He smiles and shrugs, "Okay, I guess. Did you know Dr. Greene's gay?"

I laugh, "No, I didn't. How do you know?"

- 268 -
 He smiles, "Well, first I noticed a small picture on his bookshelf of him and his
husband, but I didn't know it was his husband at the time. Then I snooped around a
little more and saw a few more pictures. Then I noticed in one of the pictures that
they had on matching wedding bands, so I asked him."

I just laugh, "You notice the smallest things."

He shrugs, "I just like to be aware of my surroundings."

We eat dinner and then go up to my room to study…with the door open. We just
spread our books out on the floor and both lay down. He grabs my hand and smiles,
"I missed you today."

I smile back, "I missed you too. I'm glad everything went okay with you today."

He smiles, "Yeah, it won't be so bad. It's actually kinda nice to be able to talk to a
guy that's been through some of the same things we're going through."

I speak quietly, "So, you told him about us?"

Jasper looks concerned, "Um…yeah. Does that bother you?"

I sigh and shake my head, "No, not really. I mean, it's not like he can say anything
about it, doctor-patient privilege and all that."

Now he sighs, "Hey Edward? Are you embarrassed to be with me?"

My eyes go wide and I shake my head, "Of course not, Jay! Please don't think
that…that's not what I meant."

He closes his eyes and rolls over on his back, "Do you think we'll ever be like that
some day?"

I sit up and scoot next to him as I look down at his beautiful face, "Like what?"

With barely a whisper I hear, "Married."

I smile even though his eyes are closed, "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Now he smiles and opens his perfect baby blue eyes, "If I asked ya, would you say
yes?"

- 269 -
 I can feel my cheeks burning but I can't keep the smile off my face, "Um…yeah…I
mean, after school was done and we were old enough. Of course, I would. So, are
you asking?"

He gives me a wicked grin and I can see that little devious glint in his eyes, "No.
You really think I'd ask ya to marry me on your bedroom floor surrounded by
schoolbooks? I'm way more creative than that, Edward…and I'm pretty fuckin good
at this romance shit so when I do propose…it will be perfect."

Now I laugh, "You are pretty good at this romance shit, babe."

He just laughs and I smile, "Hey Jay? Can we even get married?"

He smiles, "Yeah…well, not in every state but I think we can in some states."

I pull my knees to my chin and wrap my arms around them, "What about this
state?"

He shrugs, "I have no clue, Eddie. If we can't in this state, we'll just have to
move."

Now I cock my head and ask, "Do you want to live somewhere else when we're
done with school?"

He smiles, "I wouldn't mind living somewhere warmer. This cold rainy shit is for
the birds. Texas would be nice, although…I don't know if I like the idea of all them
cowboys being competition."

I just laugh and grab his hand, "Trust me on this, Jay. You have absolutely no
competition. No one can even come close to you. You were made for me."

He smiles and sits up, "You were made for me too, Edward. I love you."

I smile back, "I love you, Jay."

Then he leans forward and I meet him halfway as our lips finally meet. The kiss is
soft and gentle and sweet. My beautiful, angelic Jasper always knows just what I
need.

His hands begin trailing up my arms and my hands go for the nape of his neck so I
can hold him close to me. But as his fingertips slip underneath the sleeves of my
shirt, I wince.
- 270 -
 He pulls back with furrowed brows, "What's wrong?"

I just shake my head, "Nothing, Jay."

Shit…please don't let me have bruises…

He pushes my sleeves up and he gasps, "What the fuck? How did you get these
bruises? These are fuckin fingers, Edward. Who the fuck did this?"

Deep breaths…don't panic…don't freak out…

"Um…it's nothing, Jay, really. Let's just forget about it. Please?"

He shakes his head, "No way, man. Tell me."

I sigh, "It's no big deal…"

He cuts me off, "If someone did this to me, would you want to know how it
happened?"

Damn Jasper and his damn logical thinking…

I let out a big breath before I whisper, "James."

He has a look of pure hate on his face when he grunts out, "Tell me every god
damn thing that happened, Edward."

I wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes, "Um…I was walking home from
school and he stopped me…"

I proceeded to tell him everything that happened and he's seething, "I'll fuckin kill
him…"

I shake my head, "No, Jay. It's just stupid. I'm sure he'll leave me alone now.
Emmett scared him pretty bad."

Now he pulls his legs to his chin and wraps his arms around them. He buries his
face and I can tell he's taking deep breaths, "I can't let this shit go, Edward. The
fucker put his hands on you…bruised you. I won't kill him…but I'm gonna hurt
him…a lot."

I now wrap my arms around him and whisper, "Please, Jay…I don't want you
- 271 -
getting in any kind of trouble for this. They're just a couple of bruises. They'll heal
but I will never heal if something happens to you because of me."

And Jasper's still mumbling into his knees, "God damn asshole thinks he can put
his fuckin hands on my boyfriend and get away with it…that shit doesn't fly with me,
Edward. Then he has the balls to fuckin threaten you…naw, man, I can't let this shit
go."

And I plead some more, "Jasper, what if you get hurt or go to jail? It's not worth it.
He's not worth it."

Then his stormy blue eyes snap to mine, "You're fuckin worth it, Edward. I have to
deal with this shit now, man, cuz I know fuckers like James…he's not gonna stop till
I make him stop. He's gonna wait till he can get you alone again and I'll be damned
if that's gonna happen. And he told you that this isn't over with me. You know what
that tells me?"

I shake my head and he continues, "That tells me that I need to strike first before
he has a chance cuz I know the bastard is gonna be planning something. As far as
jail goes, I'm a minor. I'll get Em to go with me but I can guaranfuckintee you that
I'm gonna handle this shit."

"Jasper, please…"

"No. My mind's made up, Edward and it's not gonna change. So, let's just talk
about something else."

Fuck…maybe I can talk to Emmett…

I sigh and decide that talking with him about it when he's in this frame of mind
just isn't going to work. So I figure, maybe I can make him laugh, "What the hell is a
twink, anyway? Was he saying that I'm cream filled?"

He now chuckles a little, "I dunno, man, but your cream filling is only for me."

I smile, "Of course, babe. Now, can we get back to the kissing because I was really
enjoying that."

He smiles, "You want me?"

I nod, "More than anything."

- 272 -
 He cocks his head, "You need me?"

I smile as my arms go to either side of him and I begin lying him back on the
ground, "More than air."

He wraps his arms around my neck and his honey breath is sending me into a
state of euphoria, "You love me?"

I press my lips to his and simply whisper, "Yes." His hands wrap in my hair as his
lips part and I taste the sweetness of his tongue and mouth. The kiss is getting
pretty deep when I hear, "Jesus, Edward…you're attacking the boy again? Do open
doors mean nothing to you?"

I pull away and we both sit up quickly to see my dad leaning against the door
smirking.

I can feel my cheeks burning, "Uh…sorry, dad."

He laughs, "Well, your mother and I have a few errands to run. I trust that you
boys will behave while we're gone."

We both nod and he smirks, "Just remember, you two…I could have hidden
cameras all over this house."

Jasper tilts his head and smiles, "Do you have hidden cameras all over the house?"

My dad shrugs, "No…but I could. Eyes in the back of my head, boys…eyes in the
back of my head." Then he starts to walk away and I roll my eyes.

I hear, "Don't you roll your eyes at me, son."

I cringe and look at Jasper, "How the hell did he…"

Then I hear, "It's an innate ability you receive when you become a parent. No one
knows how or why. Just remember, boys, eyes in the back of my head."

Jasper looks at me, "That's kinda creepy."

"I agree."

We get back to doing our homework but when they leave, we still roll around on
the floor kissing….because, hey, he may have eyes in the back of his head, but we're
- 273 -
still teenagers.

- 274 -
 Chapter 16

Okay, so I'm really sorry for the delay. I've been dealing with some pretty
heavy personal shit these past couple weeks. Updates should be back to once
a week now. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Jasper's POV

I laid in bed that night and begin to plan my course of action against the mother
fucker who put his hands on my baby boy. I'm kinda glad that I wasn't with Edward
when it happened and Emmett showed up instead cuz I woulda put my hands on that
prick without thinking about the best plan of attack.

My dad was one crazy, mean, paranoid son of a bitch but he knew a whole hell of
a lot about tactical warfare. He taught me a lot about never running into a situation
blind and never letting your emotions dictate you in a time of war. It's all about
planning a decisive attack to not only disengage your enemy, but completely
eradicate them. Well, this was fuckin war and I was gonna destroy that fucker.

If I let my emotions rule me in this James situation, I would only end fucking him
up and getting myself in unnecessary trouble and that's not really what I wanna do.
No, I wanna fuck his whole god damn world up. I wanna fucking end him. I wanna
be standing there with a cigarette in one hand and a big ass smile on my face as I
watch his world crumble.

So, I have to be smart. The first rule when going to war; know your enemy. So,
beginning tomorrow, I was gonna find out everything I could about the sick bastard.
I also have to keep Edward covered at all times. I'm gonna have to work with him on
fighting again. I tried to teach him how to fight when we were 14 but he never really
took to it. Well, I'm gonna have to try harder cuz he needs to know how to defend
himself.

Now, I was all worked up. I crawled outta bed and went to my windowsill. I
opened it a crack and lit up a cigarette. As I smoked, I thought about my and
Edward's conversation about marriage. I'm totally gonna marry that boy some day. I
couldn't help the smile that spread across my face thinking about the future. I could
see us together, in a nice little house out in the country, sitting on the front porch
swing, cuddling and kissing. Fuck, he's turned me into such a damn girl. I don't care
though…I just love him.

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 I finally crawled back in bed when I heard my phone beep. I picked it up and saw
a text message…

Couldn't sleep…thinking about you…miss your arms around me and the sound of
your heart beating…want you, need you, love you…forever…Good night, love -
Edward

I smiled and quickly typed back…

Couldn't sleep either…always thinking about you…miss your warm breath against
my chest and the feel of your soft bronze hair against my neck…want you now, need
you more, love you always…forever, baby…Sweet dreams, darlin - Jasper

I was smiling when I finally fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning, glad that it was Friday and the weekend was coming
up. Since I had made plans for Saturday afternoon with Jacob and Sunday with
Alice, I needed to spend time with Edward tonight. I missed him like crazy and was
really hoping we could somehow sneak away together cuz even though we had
kissed a few times this week, I needed more of him…in a really bad way.

I quickly showered and brushed my teeth. I threw on a pair of worn out jeans and
a black hoodie before walking down to Edward's room. I knocked softly before
walking in and stopped immediately when I saw him.

He had just showered and was standing there with his jeans pulled up but not
buttoned, no shirt, and he was running the towel through his damp, messy, bronze
hair. And he was fuckin barefoot.

He smiled that sweet crooked smile at me, "Hey, Jay. Good morning."

The boy just had no fuckin clue what he did to me. I heard Esme down in the
kitchen, her and Carlisle were talking while she made breakfast so I just had to
make a move…and fast.

In three quick strides, I was across the room. My arms wrapped around his waist
and I yanked him to me roughly as my lips found his. Neither one of us had to ask
for more because our lips instantly parted, eager to take one another in.

He moaned into the kiss as his fingers wrapped tightly in my curls. I swear, I just
couldn't get enough of him as my tongue frantically explored every inch of his
delicious mouth and our heads turned again and again as we fought to drink each
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other in as much as possible.

My hands began exploring the damp soft skin of his back before coming around to
the front and committing each and every line and muscle of his strong chest to
memory.

Because the kiss had grown so frantic with desire and need, we were quickly
running out of air. I broke away from the kiss as he sucked in breath in heavy pants.
My mouth quickly moved to his neck where I nibbled and sucked and licked as much
of him as possible.

He was moaning softly in my ear and I could feel his warm breath against it as his
breathing was incredibly ragged. My hands quickly slid around to his back again and
down to his perfect ass as I grabbed both cheeks and squeezed, pulling him into me
so I could feel his hard cock straining against his jeans against mine. We both
moaned and one of his hands traveled from my hair and quickly grabbed my cock
through my jeans and began rubbing.

He whispered in my ear, "Oh God, Jay…want you so bad…"

I was unable to verbalize much else at that point and simply grunted against his
neck as I continued assaulting it.

Then I heard Esme yell, "Hey boys! Breakfast is done!"

I quickly pulled away from Edward as both of us dragged in sharp breaths and
tried to get ourselves calmed down enough to go downstairs. Eventually, once my
breathing settled, I smiled at my beautiful boy, "Mornin, darlin."

He laughed, "Fantastic morning, Jay."

I leaned down to his ear and whispered, "Tonight…you and me…I need some alone
time with you."

He simply nodded, "Yeah, me too."

I left his room so he could get dressed and we wouldn't get caught in a bad
position. I went downstairs and to the kitchen, "Mornin, Esme, Carlisle."

I helped Esme set the table as Carlisle was sitting at the table, writing out bills.
Soon Edward joined us and we sat down and began breakfast. We chatted a little
while and Esme smiled, "So, you boys have any plans for the weekend?"
- 277 -
 We told her about our plans and then she added, "Well, your father and I are
going into Seattle tonight for dinner and a movie."

Then Carlisle smiled, "And before you ask, yes, you two are going with us. We'll let
you go off on your own once we get there but you are going."

Damn it…

"Um…I have football practice tonight so I probably won't get home until about
5:30."

Carlisle looked at me curiously, "Football, huh? That's great, son. We'll wait for
you."

Soon enough, Edward and I were walking to school. I nudged into him as we
walked, "So, I was wondering if you'd wait for me till after practice? I don't want you
walking home by yourself."

He smiled over at me, "Hmm…walking home by myself and possibly getting

assaulted by a creepy weirdo or watching my sexy as hell boyfriend all hot and
sweaty playing football? I don't know, Jay…"

I smirked, "Smart ass."

He laughed, "Of course, I'll stay and watch you practice. Maybe I can get some
homework done while you're practicing."

We made our way to school and before I knew it, the day had flown by. I waited
for Edward by his locker and smiled as I saw him walking up, "Hey, Jay. You ready
for some football?"

I smiled, "I'm ready to hit some people."

He smirked and grabbed his books from his locker, stuffing them into his
backpack. We walked together to the locker room and Alice and Rosalie were
standing there talking. Alice beamed at Edward, "Hey, Edward! Are you staying for
practice?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground, "Um…yeah."

Fuck, he's adorable…

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 She ran up and threw her tiny arm around him, "Great! I'll have someone to sit
with. I usually stay and watch Rosie and the squad practice. Cheerleading's not
really my thing but she is my best friend so I gotta watch her, ya know?"

He looked up now and smiled, "Yeah, okay." Then he turned to me, "Um…see you
after."

I nodded, "Yeah, man."

I watched them walk off together as she chatted away. I made my way into the
locker room and there were only a few guys left changing. Emmett smiled, "Hey,
man! You ready to drop some fuckers to the ground?!"

I nodded, "Fuck yeah, man."

Emmett was a middle linebacker or as we called him 'the quarterback of the

defense.' It was his job to correctly identify the offense's formations so he could
make any necessary adjustments to the defense. I was a linebacker on the strong
side which would be the left or right outside position depending on what tight end I
was paired up against. My job was to be able to shed the lead blockers quickly so I
could get to the running back or the quarterback if he was attempting to throw.

I loved my job cuz I basically just got to plow fuckers to the ground all day long. It
was very therapeutic. I especially loved sacking the quarterback though cuz he
wasn't used to getting hit. By the end of practice, I was sweatin like a whore in
church and worn out but feeling really great. I had looked over and saw Edward and
Alice on the bleachers. She was going a hundred miles a minute and he was
laughing, probably at how animated she was.

I quickly showered and was getting dressed when Em came over and sat down,
pulling on his socks, "Hey, Jay, you did really great today."

"Thanks, man," I said pulling on my jeans. Everyone else had cleared outta the
locker room leaving us alone so I decided to take my opportunity.

"Hey, Em…thanks for having Edward's back against that fuckin prick yesterday."

He smiled over at me, "No problem, man. He's a good kid and I hate that asshole."

Then his brows furrowed and he got quiet, "Can I ask you something?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, man."

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 He took a sharp breath and whispered, "Is Edward gay?"

Well fuck my life…

My heart was racing as I sat down and pulled on my socks, "Why would you ask
that?"

He looked down at the ground now, "Well, I know that James is. I could care less if
Edward's gay or not…it makes no difference to me. The reason I'm asking is because
James is one sick bastard who does his best to exploit those kind of young, naïve
guys. Edward's right up his alley."

My eyes snapped to his, "What are you talking about?"

He looked over at me with concern on his usually happy face, "Don't say anything,
okay?"

I nodded and he continued, "Last summer, my cousin Tommy was staying with us.
He was 14 at the time and I took him to this party with me. Anyway, he met up with
James who was 18 at the time. I was pretty sure Tommy was gay and like I said
before, I didn't care at all about that. But then he started hanging out with James
like every day and I started noticing changes in his behavior. He had always been
kind of shy and quiet but all of a sudden, he was becoming angry all the time and
really defensive about everything."

"About a week before the end of summer, he disappeared for like 2 days. So, I
found out where James lived and went over there. Some young guy answered the
door and he tried to not let me in but I pushed myself in through the door anyway. I
saw Tommy lying on the couch half naked and passed out. There were like 3 other
guys there including the young one. Anyway, there was a mound of coke on the
coffee table and all kinds of pills lying around. I asked what the fuck happened but
no one would say shit. I picked Tommy up and helped pull his clothes on and carried
him outta there but I told James that if he ever contacted him again, I would fucking
kill him."

Now my mind was racing, "What happened with Tommy?"

He took a deep breath and leaned over to put his head in his hands, "Well, once he
came to, he wouldn't say anything. I took his cell phone and intercepted any calls
from that asshole. He left and went back home to California. But when he got
there…his mom and dad had received a bunch of pictures in the mail. Very bad
pictures of him with these various guys but their faces were blacked out and he was
- 280 -
doing drugs. He tried to kill himself. He's still in the hospital…psych ward. I went to
the cops about what I saw but there was no proof that James had taken or sent the
pictures. They went to his house but didn't have a search warrant. So, by the time
they got one and went back, of course they didn't find anything. I'll do whatever it
takes to keep Edward away from that sick fucker."

I took a deep breath and tried to gather my thoughts.

As bad as all of this is…I can use this information to end that fucker.

"I'm sorry, Em. I swear to God, I will kill that fucker if he lays another fuckin
finger on Edward. I'm gonna take the bastard down, I just need to come up with a
plan first."

He looked over at me, "Whatever you need, bro, I'm with you."

I nodded, "Yeah, thanks, man. Um, I have to leave early on Thursdays…would you
mind giving him a ride home on those days?"

He shook his head, "No, not at all. So…is Edward your boyfriend? James
mentioned something about him having a boyfriend…"

I pulled on my hoodie and took a minute before I whispered, "Yeah. Please don't
tell anyone."

He smiled over at me, "I won't say a word, man. Promise. Just don't say anything
about Tommy."

I nodded, "Yeah, man, I won't say anything. So, you're okay with it then?"

He laughed, "Fuck, bro…to each their own. Like I said before, he's a good kid and
you're both my friends so as long as you're good…I'm good."

I let out a breath I had been holding, "Really? Thanks, Em."

He smiled, "No problem, Jay. And whenever you are ready to come out to
everyone…or even just to your close friends, I'm sure they'll be okay with it. There
are a lot of bigoted assholes in this town, but most of them are the older generation
or mother fuckers in denial like Newton who just hates gays because he's secretly
curious about guys. Besides, if anyone fucks with you, we can just beat the shit outta
them!"

- 281 -
 I laughed cuz Em was one cool fucker and I was very relieved to have him on my
side. I just hoped Edward wouldn't freak out too much when I told him. We quickly
finished dressing and headed outta the locker room. Rosalie, Alice, and Edward
were standing there talking and he actually looked kinda comfortable talking with
them.

Em wrapped his arm around Rosalie's waist and gave her a kiss. Alice had her arm
wrapped around Edward's shoulder and they were laughing about something. I
walked up and he smiled, "Hey, Jay, you were really good out there."

I smiled, "Thanks, Eddie. Hey Ali, how's it going?"

She pulled away and tousled Edward's hair, "Good, Jazzy. We're still on for
shopping on Sunday, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah. You gonna pick me up?"

She smirked, "Oh, that's right…you're a little freshman…"

Now I laughed, "Little? Woman, I'm nearly 6 foot tall and you're what, like, 4'9?
You know that's the same height as Gary Coleman, right?"

She rolled her eyes, "You know what they say about dynamite coming in small
packages."

"Yeah, yeah…"

She smiled, "I'll pick you up at 9am."

I nodded, "Alright, I'll see you then. C'mon, Eddie."

We said our good byes and started to walk away when Emmett offered us a ride
home. So, we took it and crammed into the backseat of his car along with Alice. We
chatted a little on the way and soon we were at home.

And then we were headed down to Seattle with Carlisle and Esme. We held hands
in the backseat and I laid my head on Edward's shoulder as his other hand brushed
softly through my hair. I guess I must've fallen asleep cuz the next thing I know,
Edward is shaking me gently, "Hey, Jasper…wake up, babe."

I lifted my head and yawned, "Sorry…didn't mean to fall asleep….guess practice

tuckered me out."
- 282 -
 He laughed, "You talk so cute, Jay. Your accent's much thicker when you first
wake up."

We got outta the car and Carlisle and Esme went off to some fancy restaurant and
they let me and Eddie go off by ourselves but we had to meet up with them at the
movie theater in an hour and a half.

We found a little pizza place and went in. We sat down in a booth across from
each other and got pizza, hot wings for me, and breadsticks for him. Our legs were
brushing each other underneath the booth and I loved the little blush it brought to
his cheeks. We ate and talked for awhile. I was just really glad to get some time
alone with him, even if we couldn't really touch, just being with him was
enough…for now.

When we were done eating, we still had 45 minutes until we had to meet Esme
and Carlisle. I noticed a pool table in the back room, "Hey, Edward? Wanna play
pool?"

He shrugged, "Um…sure, but I don't really know how to play."

I smiled, "I can teach ya, if ya want."

He laughed, "Yeah, I'd like that."

We went back to a table and I began racking the balls, "Okay, Eddie. We'll play
8-ball." I began rattling off the rules to him and we began playing. After a few
rounds, I noticed that Edward was holding the stick all wrong. So, as he bent over
the table, I crept up behind him and wrapped my arms around him and slid my
hands on his to help him position the stick right.

He took a sharp breath and whispered, "What are you doing?"

I laughed softly in his ear, "Helping you…I can stop if you want."

He was quiet for a moment before whispering, "People will see us."

I pulled away and sighed, "We're in Seattle, Edward. We're not around anyone
who knows us. It would probably be a good thing to start taking little steps so we
can come out someday. But if you're not ready, I won't push."

I walked to the other side of the table so he could take his shot.

- 283 -
 God damnit I hate this shit…I just wanna be with my fuckin boyfriend! Why is this
shit so fuckin hard!

He stood there a moment just looking at me with a serious look on his pretty face.
Finally, he walked over by me and hopped up on the table sitting there and fidgeting
with the pool stick, "Um…it really wouldn't bother you? I mean, like, people staring
or saying bad things."

I shook my head, "Naw, man, it really wouldn't. I could give a fuck less what
anyone thinks of me. In the immortal words of Popeye, 'I yam what I yam.'"

He chuckled and I smiled, "A brilliant man once told me that if people don't like
what you're doing, fuck em. It's your life, live it. But like I said, I won't push you,
Edward. I'll wait until you're ready. I just really wanna hold your fuckin hand, darlin.
That's all."

He blushed and took a deep breath. Then he smiled that crooked little smile up at
me and said, "When you take off a band aid…do you peel it off slowly or just rip it
off?"

I was a little confused, "Um, I rip it off I guess. Better to just get it over with."

He looked down at the ground for a moment before looking up at me and smiling,
"I think that's the best way."

Then his hand reached out and grabbed my hoodie, yanking me to him as his other
hand went straight to my hair and pulled me down to him. His lips crashed to mine
and to say that I was caught off guard, would be a gross understatement.

It took a second for me to catch up to the reality of the moment but soon my hands
were on his waist and I brushed my tongue across his bottom lip, praying that he
wasn't ready to end this little public display of affection yet.

And much to my surprise, his lips parted and I felt his tongue slide against mine. I
moaned softly into the kiss as I tasted my beautiful boy.

Holy shit, Edward's tongue is in my mouth in a public place!

We kissed for just a minute before he gently broke the kiss with a big smile on his
perfect face. My smile matched his as we just stared at each other. Then I heard
some guys behind him, "That's fucking disgusting. Damn queers are starting out
young these days."
- 284 -
 Edward's smile immediately faltered and his head dropped down. I glared daggers
over his shoulders at the two guys. They were older, probably late thirties, with beer
bellies, half bald and looking pretty damn pathetic.

"How'd you like to get your ass kicked by a queer boy?"

One of them threw his stick on the table and laughed, "You wanna go, boy?"

Edward looked up at me with wide eyes, "No, Jay. Don't do this."

But I was already pissed and just couldn't help myself as I pulled away from him
and rounded the table to stand toe to toe with the asshole. The guy was actually a
couple inches shorter than me but easily outweighed me by thirty or forty pounds.
But his arms were short and he was probably slow so it would be pretty easy to
dodge his punch and quickly counter staying out of arms reach. Then if his buddy
decided to join in, the pool stick was within reach and I had no qualms about fightin
dirty when I was outmatched.

So I smiled, "Feelin froggy, mother fucker? Then leap."

Then, Edward was standing by my side with his pool stick in his hand, "I don't
really think two on one is a fair fight. Now, it's fair."

Edward was standing up for me…against grown men. The boy was amazing…but I
couldn't let him do this…

Thankfully, the dickhead's buddy grabbed his arm, "John, you really wanna risk
going to jail for beating the shit out of some stupid kid?"

John pulled away and sighed, "God damn kid. Trying to redeem your fucking pride
in front of your little faggot boyfriend?"

I laughed, "My pride's just fine, I got nothing to be ashamed of. You wanna
redeem your fuckin pride from the little queer boy who just called you out? Play
me."

Now he laughed, "I'll wipe the fucking table clean with you, kid."

I pulled out fifty bucks and laid it on the table, "What's wrong? You afraid of
getting your ass handed to you by a fifteen year old queer boy?"

Now the other guy laughed, "You're on, boy. You know how to play cutthroat?"
- 285 -
 I smirked, "I think I've heard of it a time or two."

They laid their money on the table and John racked the balls. These really were
two dumb mother fuckers. I spent years in the bar that my mama worked at in a
small town in Texas when I was a kid, hell, I even had a cot in the back so I could
sleep. Shooting pool and throwin darts was fuckin ingrained in me from the time I
was 6 years old. Some of the old regulars at the bar, would spend hours teaching me
everything they knew. I was a fuckin shark by the time I was 9.

Edward whispered to me, "How do you play this game?"

I leaned into his ear and whispered, "Balls 1-5 are lows, 6-10 are mids, and 11-15
are highs. The first round is open and once we've all hit, then the sets are assigned
accordingly. The object is to pocket your opponent's balls while leaving at least one
of yours on the table. Whoever has the last ball in their set standing, wins."

He just nodded and scooted off to the side. We all took our first shots and I ended
up with the highs. And I don't know who the fuck these bastards thought they were
dealing with, but they obviously didn't count on me.

My shot came and I lined up my stick and made the cue ball jump over mine to
knock two of their balls in. I smirked as their mouths hung open. The game didn't
last long as I jumped balls, banked shots, and curved the cue ball around mine,
always knocking more than one of theirs in with each shot.

When the game ended and all of their balls were pocketed, all five of mine
remained on the table. I smirked again and threw my stick on the table. I grabbed
the $150 and smiled, "Thanks, guys. I'm gonna go buy my boyfriend something
really nice."

I held my hand out to Edward who was grinning ear to ear. He took it and I
shoved the money in my pocket as we made our way outta the place. I could hear
them mumbling and cursing behind me, and it was fuckin hilarious.

Once we left the restaurant, Edward turned to me, "How did you learn to play like
that?" So, I told him about my past and he laughed, "That was the coolest thing I've
ever seen."

I smiled at him holding up our joined hands in between us, "This is the coolest
thing I've ever seen. You're holding my hand walking down the street."

He blushed and looked around, "It doesn't bother you that people are staring at
- 286 -
us?"

I laughed, "Look at us, Edward. We're fuckin hot. If you were them, wouldn't you
be staring at us?"

He just laughed and shook his head. Then he smiled at me and said, "I really
fucking love you, Jay, you know that?"

I stopped walking and turned to him with a raised eyebrow, "Oh yeah? How bout a
kiss then?"

He raised an eyebrow back and leaned against the brick wall, "You want it? Come
and get it."

Good God, I fuckin love this boy…

I leaned with one arm against the wall and reached my other hand up to stroke his
strong jaw. I whispered, "Be careful, little boy, haven't you heard that if you play
with fire, you're gonna get burned?"

Edward could always surprise the shit outta me and tonight was no different. His
fingers hooked in my belt loops and pulled my hips against his and whispered,
"There's nothing little about me, Jay. And that glimmer in your baby blue eyes, is
enough to set me on fire. The feel of your rough fingertips gliding along my skin,
scorches my needy flesh. So, if I'm playing with fire…then I beg of you…burn me
again, baby."

Jesus Christ…

I closed my eyes and leaned into him, brushing my lips across his. I felt his tongue
slide along my bottom lip as he sucked it gently between his. I moaned when our
tongues collided and I felt him smile.

He just loved that he could make me come completely undone…I loved it too.

We kissed for a minute and I could faintly hear cat calls and comments around
us…but I was too caught up in the moment to care.

When I finally pulled away, we were both grinning like idiots. Just then, an older
woman walked by and mumbled, "Holy shit, that was hot."

Edward and I started laughing hysterically and I wrapped my arm around his
- 287 -
shoulder and kissed his forehead, "C'mon, darlin. Let's go make out at the movies."

He blushed and wrapped his arm around my waist as we made our way to the
theater to meet his parents.

When we got to the theater, his parents were there waiting for us. Esme smiled as
we walked up, "So, what are you boys going to see?"

Edward shrugged and I suggested the movie that had been out the longest and
was supposedly the crappiest so we would hopefully be relatively alone in the
theater.

Carlisle sighed, "Well, your mother and I are going to see a crappy chick flick…"

Esme glared at him and he quickly smiled, "…what I meant to say was, your
mother and I are going to see a lovely, moving tale about long lost love and sisterly
devotion and…well….all that crap that chicks like."

He laughed and Esme playfully smacked his arm as she tried not to giggle.

He wrapped his arm around her and smiled, "We'll meet you boys here in two
hours. Be good and remember…"

Edward giggled, "Eyes in the back of your head…yes, dad, we know."

Carlisle gave us a knowing look before they turned to leave. Edward smiled at me
and rolled his eyes. We heard Carlisle say, "Don't roll your eyes at me, Edward."

Edward grimaced and whispered, "How the hell does he do that?"

I just shrugged, "I don't know, man, but that's some seriously fucked up shit."

We bought our tickets and popcorn and of course, Skittles for him and M&M's for
me. Yeah, we just ate, but we're growing boys.

We went inside the theater and just as I hoped, there were only three other people
in it. As we sat down and he began eating the popcorn, he leaned over to me and
whispered, "You really have no intention of watching this crappy movie, right?"

I put my arm around him and grabbed a handful of popcorn, "Nope. Just waitin for
the lights to go off."

- 288 -
 We both smiled and leaned down in the seats with our feet up on the seats in front
of us. And the second the lights went off, Edward moved the popcorn from his lap
and we lifted the armrest from in between us.

We were havin the best make out session I had ever had in a theater but…fuck, I
was surely about to bust the zipper on my jeans, I was so fuckin hard.

About half way through the movie, my lips and tongue and teeth were worshipping
Edward's jaw line and neck as his fingers grasped at my hair and hoodie. He
whispered breathlessly, "Oh God, Jasper…take me somewhere…I don't care
where…I need more…please, baby…please…"

And how could I resist my beautiful boy when he was begging for more of me. I
grabbed his hand and then grabbed a bunch of napkins and shoved them in the front
pocket of my hoodie, "C'mon, babe."

I led him to the fire exit and we slipped through to the door that led to the
stairwell. I opened the door and said, "Go through, close the door behind you and
make sure it opens from the inside. I don't wanna get locked in there." Yeah, I had
done this a time or two.

He nodded and did as I asked. When he was able to open the door from the inside,
he grinned and grabbed my hoodie, pulling me quickly through to the other side
with him. As soon as the door shut, I pushed him against it and attacked his mouth
again.

My hands went to his belt and quickly undid it, leaving it open and then I
unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans as his hands went to mine and did the same
thing. When everything was undone, I slipped my hand inside his boxers and pulled
his cock out through the hole. He did as I did and soon, our hard cocks were sliding
against each other as we grinded hard.

He grabbed my hand and brought it to his mouth, breaking our kiss and licking
the palm. Then he brought his hand up to my mouth and I licked his palm. Our
hands wrapped around each other's cocks and his head fell back against the door
with a low moan as mine fell against his shoulder with a deep groan.

We worked each other over fast and hard and soon, one of his legs hitched up
against my hip as his breathing became erratic and his eyes rolled back then closed.
I whispered, "Tell me when you're gonna cum, baby…"

My free hand went underneath his thigh, holding his leg in place on my hip as I
- 289 -
leaned into him a little harder. My mouth was against his collarbone, open and
panting as my vision started to become blurry and I knew that I was gonna explode
very soon.

He started trembling and he panted out, "Now, Jay…"

I quickly grabbed a handful of the napkins from my pocket and used them to keep
our cum contained and from getting on our clothes. We both came together and we
stood there a moment, just regaining our composure before I gently pulled away and
kissed him softly.

I wrapped the napkins up and we redid our jeans. He grinned at me, "Thank you."

I laughed, "You're welcome."

Once we were situated, I opened the door and led us back into the theater. The
movie still had about twenty minutes so I grabbed our trash we left in the seat and
threw it away, along with the soiled napkins. I whispered, "Edward, we're sweating,
we're flushed, and our hair is matted…we look very, very guilty right now. Let's step
outside to cool off."

He smirked, "You want a smoke, right?"

I laughed cuz he knew me too well, "Yeah. Will you come with me?"

He smiled, "I think we already established that I will cum with you anywhere."

I just laughed and we went outside and stood to the side of the building. I lit up a
square and he stood in front of me. The nighttime air was brisk but felt fantastic
against my heated skin.

After a minute, I decided I better tell him about Emmett, "Hey Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Um…I have something to tell you and I don't want you to freak out about it,
okay?"

He furrowed his brow, "What is it, Jay?"

I took a drag from my cigarette and decided to just man the fuck up and spit it
out, "Emmett and I were alone in the locker room after practice and he asked me if I
- 290 -
was your boyfriend. He heard James mention it and…I told him the truth."

He gasped, "What did he say? Is he going to out us?"

I shook my head, "No, man. He said that he thought you were a good guy and that
we were both his friends and as long as we were happy, he was happy for us. He
said he wouldn't tell anyone and I trust him."

He was breathing heavy and looked like he might have a panic attack so I threw
my cigarette down and put my hands on his shoulders, "Calm down, Edward. I
promise, it'll be okay. Please don't worry."

He took a couple of deep breaths and finally looked up at me, "He said he was
okay with it?"

I nodded, "Yeah, darlin, and I really think he is. I mean, he changed his clothes in
front of me and everything without freaking out or getting squeamish…he gave us a
ride home after school…I think he'll be true to his word."

Edward finally nodded, "Okay, Jay. If you say it will be okay, then I trust you."

I pulled him into a hug and whispered, "You're not mad at me, are you?"

He sighed, "No, I'm not mad. A little shocked, but not mad. I understand why you
told him."

I whispered, "I love you, Edward."

He whispered back, "I love you too, Jasper."

We met up with Carlisle and Esme and were soon on our way back home. Along
the way, Edward and I both fell asleep leaning against each other. We were woken
up by Esme once we pulled into the garage.

We said our quick good nights and headed upstairs. I gave Edward a long, slow,
good night kiss before heading to my room.

Once there, I pulled out my phone and dialed Emmet. He answered, "S'up Jay?"

"Not much man. Hey, I was wondering…do you have James' address?"

"Yeah. What are you planning on doing?"

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 I sighed, "Nothing tonight, Em. Just planning."

He chuckled, "Alright, man…but if you go after that fucker, I want a piece."

I laughed, "You got it, man."

He gave me the address and we hung up. I quickly pulled the address up on
Mapquest and saw that it was relatively close. Less than a 45 minute walk. So, I
pulled up the hood of my black hoodie and grabbed my smokes before opening up
my window and crawling out. My window wasn't directly by a tree so I had to walk
along the ledge for a moment before reaching a branch and making my way down
the tree.

I took off walking, just lost in my thoughts about everything that happened with
James. Pretty soon, I was at his house. It was a small blue one story house. His bike
was parked in the driveway, along with an old Caprice. All the lights were off and so,
I began to go to work. My mission tonight was just to case the place.

So, I began to walk around the house, making notes of all windows and doors.
There didn't seem to be any dogs, so that was a good thing. I looked through the
windows and made a mental note that this fucker was loaded. His house was decked
out with every high tech gadget you could think of. Former drug dealer, my ass.
Either this guy was still dealing, doing something else illegal, or came from money.
It made sense cuz now that I looked at his bike…it was a vintage Harley, fully
decked out. Then I remembered the leather jacket he wore, and it was obviously
expensive.

I figured I'd check one more thing before I left. I pulled out my gloves and slipped
them on. I walked over to the Caprice and looked around for a moment making sure
there was no alarm on it before using my elbow to smash one of the smaller back
side windows. I reached in to open the door. Luckily, the dome light didn't come on
so I didn't have to deal with it.

I began rifling through papers in the glove box and console before I found
something that might be useful. It was a bank statement for James Hunter. Now, I
had the fuckers last name, bank account number, and a month's worth of
transactions to peruse so I could see where this bastard spent his money and likely
hung out.

I shoved it in my pocket and started walking back to my house. James may think
he's a badass…but he ain't no ghetto fucker like me. By the time I was finished with
him…well, he'd just be finished.
- 292 -
 I got home and made my way back to my room. I quickly showered and hid the
bank statement in my guitar case. Then I pulled on some sweatpants and crawled
into bed. I glanced at the clock and it was damn near 4 in the morning. I fell asleep
with a smile on my face.

I slept till 10 and soon after, Esme was dropping me off at Jacob's house so we
could work on my bike. After about an hour of bullshitting around, we got to work.

After awhile, Brady came strolling in the garage, "Hey guys, what are you doing?"

Jacob smiled, "Working on Jay's bike, cuz. What are you doing here?"

He smiled, "My mom came over to help Uncle Billy with some sort of paperwork."
Then he smiled at me with a blush in his cheeks, "Hi Jasper."

I smiled and laughed a little, "Hi Brady. How ya doin?"

He hopped up on one of the work benches, "I'm good. So, um…I was hoping you
would…um…call me so we could hang out."

I smiled over at him, "We're hanging out now, aren't we?"

He blushed and giggled, "Yeah, I guess."

I heard a woman yell for him and he hopped up, "Um…I'll be back."

He took off running out of the garage and Jacob laughed, "Sorry, man but I think
my cuz has a man crush on you."

I just smirked, "Can you blame the boy? Look at me. I pull em all in, man…men,
women, hell, even the animals follow me around."

He shook his head laughing, "You're one cocky son of a bitch."

I smiled, "You're right on both accounts there, Jake."

We continued working and eventually he looked over at me, "So, does it bother
you that Brady has a crush on you?"

I just shook my head, "Naw, man. He's just a kid. He'll get over it. Does it bother
you?"

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 He just shrugged, "No, not really. I mean, I don't have a problem with, ya know,
gays and stuff."

I laughed, "Gays and stuff, huh?"

He threw the dirty oil rag on the floor at me and rolled his eyes laughing, "Fuck
off, Whitlock."

I smiled, "Aww…fuck you too, Black."

Brady came back in and hopped on the work bench again. We all chatted a bit and
I was thankful Jake was there so I wouldn't have to break the poor boy's heart. We
kept working and finally, I needed a smoke break.

I excused myself to step outside and Jacob headed straight for the kitchen. Brady
followed me out and leaned against the wall of the garage next to me.

He looked up at me and bit his lip, "Um…can I ask you something?"

I nodded as I took a drag, "Yeah, man."

He leaned over into me and whispered, "Do you like that Edward boy?"

My eyes got wide and I damn near choked, "Why would you say that?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. The party last weekend…I couldn't help but notice
that you were looking at him when you were talking to me. Were you just being nice
to me to make him jealous?"

Well, fuck…way to be an asshole, Whitlock.

I sighed, "Look, Brady…I don't wanna hurt your feelings, man. You're a really nice
guy and I do like you…as a friend. Me and Edward, well, we're complicated. I'm
sorry if I made you feel bad. I guess…"

He looked like he was about to cry.

Now I groaned and ran a hand through my hair before leaning into him and
whispering, "If I wasn't taken, I would be totally into you, okay? But I'm taken.
Please don't say anything to anyone. I would like to be your friend, if you still wanna
be."

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 He sighed and mumbled, "I should have known. You're both absolutely gorgeous.
It only makes sense that you're together. I won't say anything. Promise."

I smiled, "You're a good guy, Brady. Thanks."

Then he looked up and shrugged, "Well, at least I get to say I'm friends with the
coolest, hottest boy in Forks."

I felt bad for the boy. I doubted he really had many friends and he did seem like a
sweet guy.

Shit, I hope Edward doesn't get mad at me for this…

"Hey Brady? Let me talk to Edward and maybe next weekend a group of us can go
out. Maybe to a movie or something. Then we can all hang out. How's that sound?"

His little face lit up as he pushed his glasses up, "Really? That would be awesome!
Do you think he'll care? What if your friends don't like me? I mean, you're all so
much cooler than me…"

I laughed, "I think Edward will be okay with it. He's pretty amazing. And as far as
my friends go, if I say you're in…then you're in."

He beamed, "Thank you so much, Jasper. This means the world to me."

I smiled, "No problem, man. Just remember, don't say anything about me and
Edward, okay?"

He nodded, "My lips are sealed."

Just then his mom yelled for him and he turned, "Well, I have to go. I hope to hear
from you. Thanks again, Jasper. You're a really nice guy."

I nodded, "Anytime, man. See ya later."

I flicked out my cigarette and Jake and I went back to working on the bike.

Man, I really hope Edward is okay with this. Surely if I just explain the situation
with him, he won't care. The poor kid just needs some friends. And Edward has to
know by now that he's my fuckin heart. He's the reason I wake up in the mornin and
breathe in and out all day long. He's my everything.

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 Remember; reviews are like hugs…and I could really use a fuckin hug
right now ;)

- 296 -
 Chapter 17

A really big thanks goes out to Tilly Whitlock for recommending my story
on her blog. I was very flattered, girl! Thank you so much for thinking of my
boys!

Also, thank you guys so much for all the love! Real life is having its ups
and downs still but I have hope and when you have hope…you have
everything. (I totally stole that off a fortune cookie!)

Last thing, OnTheTurningAway, big, BIG thanks to you! She has

nominated two of my stories for the Bellie Awards! Lessons Learned is for
'Fic That Keeps You Up Till 3am Reading' and An Imperfect Love for 'Edward
Who?' I am so appreciative and thankful to you…you really helped make a
crappy week a lot better!

And finally, to my husband, who is actually reading my slashy story just to

get a peek inside my head…you rock, babe.

Thanks you guys! Hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Playlist: Crazy/Possessive by Kaci Battaglia, A Message by Coldplay

Edward's POV

It had been one hell of a night and I was exhausted. Me and Jasper trudged up the
stairs to our rooms to go to bed and I went behind him so I could get a nice gander
at that perfect ass of his. The boy could dress. Even in jeans and a hoodie, he was
without a doubt, the most beautiful person I had ever laid eyes on.

How is it even possible for someone to be as completely gorgeous and perfect as

he is? And not to mention…fuck, he's badass.

He turned around and caught me checking him out once he reached the top of the
stairs. He smiled, "See something you like?"

I just smiled and brushed my way past him, "Nope. I see something I love."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him. His fingers clenched mine and
his arm went around my back, pulling me closer. My other hand lay on his chest

- 297 -
over his heart where I could feel the beats becoming faster and faster.

He smiled as I gazed into his incredible baby blue eyes, "Thank you for tonight,
Edward. I know that was hard for you but you don't know how much it meant to me."

Then he leaned down and brushed his lips across mine as he whispered, "I'm so
fuckin in love with you…"

He kissed me gently and I thought back to the feel of his lips against mine as we
heard gasps and hateful comments and cat calls behind us. But in that moment,
nothing else mattered but me and him and the love that we were sharing. Everyone
else be damned. When Jasper was with me, the rest of the world just paled in
comparison.

Maybe I'd be ready for all this sooner than I thought. I mean, yeah, it was scary
and I was nervous but…there was also this incredible rush. And I knew that as long
as he was with me, I could face anything.

This realization made me feel bold and free. I pushed him back against the wall
and grabbed his other hand so that I had both of his hands pinned above his head as
I deepened the kiss.

He moaned into my mouth and I felt him harden instantly against me. I loved that
I had this affect on him. I mean, it was me…plain, weird, scrawny Edward that
caused this perfect creature to come undone.

When we finally needed air, I pulled away and began nipping at his jaw. I
whispered, "I am so in love with you, Jasper…"

I was breathing heavily, overcome with emotions of love and devotion, want and
need, lust and desire…and his breathing matched my own.

My lips went to his ear and I whispered through ragged breaths, "You're
just…God, Jay, you're everything to me."

I felt the prickly rise of his heated flesh against my nose as I nuzzled his neck and
in an instant, his hands broke free, grabbing my face and pulling my lips to his as I
felt my back crash into the wall behind me.

I moaned and my back arched as I grabbed the hem of his jeans and yanked him
to me. And in my mind, one word was stuck on repeat: More.

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 But then I heard, "Don't make me come up there!"

Cockblocking Carlisle…that's your new name, dad…

And suddenly, we were both giggling and panting all at the same time. He pulled
away and smiled while his hands now pressed into the wall on either side of my face.
He was laughing softly, "I swear to God…when I get you alone, Edward…I'm gonna
do extremely naughty things to you."

I sighed, "Mmm…can't wait."

He leaned in for one more soft kiss and smiled as he pulled away, "Night, darlin.
Sweet dreams."

I smiled back, "Night, babe. Naughty dreams."

We both chuckled and he walked down to his room and I just leaned against the
wall and watched him. I swear, it was physical and psychological torture having him
so damn close and not being able to just have him.

He turned and smiled at me as he reached the door, "Love you, Edward."

I smiled and sighed, "Love you too, Jay."

And as I slept that night, I had very naughty dreams.

He slept in late the next morning and when he finally woke up, we ate breakfast
together. My mom drove me over to Bella's so we could work on our project and
then took Jasper to Jacob's so he could work on his bike.

I walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. Chief Swan answered with
his arms folded across his chest, "Edward."

I smiled as best I could, "Um…Chief Swan."

Just then Bella came and pushed her way past him, "Jeez dad…he's not even my
boyfriend. Are you instantly suspicious of any boy that comes near me?"

In a deadly serious expression he just nodded, "Yup."

She rolled her eyes and then smiled at me, "Come on in, Edward. Angela's
upstairs."
- 299 -
 She grabbed my hand and pulled me in, leading me upstairs. Chief Swan yelled
out, "Leave the door open!"

Do parents really think that works?

Angela was lying across Bella's bed and she smiled up at me, "Hey, Edward! Glad
you came, we've got tons of work to do."

I smiled, "No problem. Let's get to it."

We spread our books out on the floor and all lied down and started preparing our
Biology project. A couple of hours into it, Bella's cell rang. She grabbed it and rolled
over on her back, "Ohh, it's Jake. Study break, guys."

Angela and I were chatting about nothing in particular when I heard Bella say,
"Oh, Brady's there? Tell him I said hi."

My eyes snapped over at her and I accidentally broke the pencil I had in my hand.

Son of a bitch…what the hell is he doing there? With my fucking boyfriend…oh

hell no.

And before I could stop by big stupid mouth, I blurted out, "What the hell's Brady
doing there?"

Bella looked at me a little confused and Angela just smirked. Bella spoke again to
Jacob, "Um…what's Brady doing right now?"

She listened for a moment and then turned to me, "Him and Jasper are in the
garage."

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I tried to calm myself
down.

Keep your damn mouth shut, Edward!

Angela reached over and put her hand on my shoulder, "You okay, Edward?"

I looked up and sucked in a sharp breath, "Uh…yeah, I'm fine."

You can trust, Jasper. You know this. Stop acting like an idiot.

- 300 -
 Bella said her goodbye and then turned to me, "Edward, do you have a problem
with Brady or something?"

I shook my head, "Nope. No problem. Everything's cool."

Except he wants my boyfriend. Damn it. I'd hate to have to bitch smack the
boy…okay, I probably wouldn't hate it at all.

Angela smiled, "Edward, you are so tense. You really need to start dating again."

Groan.

Bella nodded, "She's right, Edward. It's been like six months since Tanya. It's time
to jump back on that horse."

Angela stood up and went to Bella's desk. She pulled out Bella's yearbook and
plopped back down on the floor, "Okay. We're going to figure this out, Edward.
Surely, we can find someone in this book who you'd want. It's not like you can't have
your pick of the litter."

I pulled myself up into a sitting position across from her, "Seriously, I'm fine. I
don't really even want to date anyone right now."

Bella grabbed the book, "Nonsense, Edward. We just have to figure out your type,
that's all. I'm going to point out two people and you tell me which one you'd prefer."

I groaned out loud this time, "Bella, please….I really don't want to do this."

Angela laughed, "Edward, as one of your best friends, I'm going to say this once
and once only…look at the damn pictures and choose one."

Shit. Angela cursed, there's no way she's going to let this go now.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "Ugh…fine."

They flipped through a few pages and finally landed on one, "Okay…let's
see…Katie McDaniel or Lacy Matthews?"

I cringed, "Eww…neither. Lacy's dyed black hair is too goth and Katie…red hair
just doesn't do it for me."

Angela laughed, "So, no goth chicks and no fire crotch's, got it."
- 301 -
 Bella sighed and flipped through the pages again, "Well, you dated Tanya, so do
you like blondes then?"

I nodded, "Um, yeah…I think I like blondes."

Blonde hair, blue eyes, and oh yeah, a big thick cock…that's my type, ladies…

"Okay, how about Stacey Morgan or Tiffany Sanders?"

I groaned, "Neither. Stacey is a complete airhead and Tiffany is too timid."

Angela smiled, "So, someone smart and outgoing."

I nodded, "Yeah."

Again, Bella flipped through the pages, "Here we go, Katrina Dixon or Mandy
Lawson?"

I sighed, "Katrina's like the preachers daughter…that's just way too innocent for
me. And Mandy, ugh, look at her arms and legs. There's no definition there. If the
girl ever tried to do a cartwheel, her skinny legs would snap."

Angela grabbed the book from Bella, "Okay, so we need a blonde who is smart and
outgoing with a little bit of a wild side and nice toned legs and arms."

I nodded, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Angela flipped through some more pages and finally laid the book open in front of
me. Instinctively, I smiled when I looked at the candid shots and saw one of Jasper.
He was asleep with his head cradled in his arms that were folded on top of his desk.
His plump pink lips were slightly parted and one of his golden curls had fallen down
over his closed eyes. He looked so peaceful. So beautiful.

Then, Angela pointed to the picture, "How about him?"

I gasped, "Angela? He's a boy."

She shrugged, "So what. He has everything you're looking for."

This cannot be happening.

I jumped to my feet as I tugged at my hair, "That's just…just crazy! I don't like

- 302 -
Jasper like that!"

Now they both stood up and Angela smiled warmly at me, "Of course you don't
like Jasper…"

Then Bella giggled, "You love him, Edward."

I could feel the fire rushing through my cheeks like a damn forest fire. I began
pacing, needing to find an escape but I could hear Charlie downstairs in the kitchen
so I couldn't successfully leave without going past him.

I threw up my hands in frustration, "Of course I love him, he's my best friend but
I'm not in love with him!"

Bella grabbed her photo album off her desk and flipped it open. She shoved the
picture book at me and I looked at the photo. It was from the 8th grade recital
where I played the piano.

I was onstage at the piano and my eyes were closed as I played. But off in the
background on the side of the stage, there stood Jasper. He was leaning against the
wall with his hands in his pockets looking at me. He had the most beautiful smile on
his face as he watched me.

This was the beginning of our 8th grade year…before our 2nd kiss.

Angela sighed, "It's too bad you're not in love with him because it looks like he's in
love with you."

I was like a damn deer in the headlights…I needed to get out of there. And before
I could stop myself, I had successfully ran to Bella's closet and shut myself in. I
leaned against the wall and slumped to the ground, bringing my legs up to my chin
and burying my head in my arms.

I heard a soft knock at the door and then Bella spoke, "Edward? It's okay. Angela
and I don't care. You're one of our best friends and we're here for you no matter
what."

Then I heard Angela sigh, "Edward, please come out of the closet."

Why does everyone want me to come out of the damn closet?! I'm perfectly
content in the god damn closet!

- 303 -
 But they said they didn't care. God, please don't start crying…

I could feel the hot tears welling up and couldn't stop the sob that escaped my
lips.

A moment later, they both had taken up seats next to me and leaned their heads
on my shoulders while wrapping their arms around me. I sniffled a few times and
Angela whispered, "Why should you be ashamed of being in love with a beautiful boy
who adores you, Edward?"

Bella nodded and whispered, "You two are more perfect together than any two
people I've ever seen."

I sniffled again and whispered, "How did you know?"

Angela giggled softly, "I've had my suspicions because the way you two look at
each other sometimes…well, it's just so intimate. And I was pretty positive after the
party last week. I was dancing with Jasper and when he asked if I had seen you, I
told him that you were off with some really good looking older guy…you should've
seen his face. He was so jealous he could barely contain himself."

Then Bella giggled, "And then when we were talking to James and Jasper began
playing the guitar…you were completely drawn to him. I watched as he sang directly
to you the entire time. It was like he was pouring his soul out to you."

Angela sighed, "It was so romantic. Who would've ever thought that Jasper was
the romantic type."

I couldn't help but smile as I whispered, "He is an old fashioned romantic. He took
me on my very first real date. He decorated the gazebo in the backyard and made
dinner for us. Then he laid out a blanket in the grass and sang for me. It was
beautiful."

I can't believe I'm actually talking about this…and it feels really good…not nearly
as scary as I thought.

Bella laughed, "God, my first date with Jake…total disaster. He took me to this
Italian restaurant and first, I knocked my Coke on him and then I went to clean it
and knocked his spaghetti in his lap…then, I jumped up to help him, slipped on the
spaghetti that now covered the floor and took us both down. I was so afraid he was
going to just storm out and leave me there…but instead, he started laughing and
gave me my first kiss. That's when I knew he was the one. He always brings a
- 304 -
change of clothes with him every time we go out now."

Now, Angela and I joined in her laughter. Angela snorted, "You two have it lucky!
My first date with Ben…Star Wars convention in Seattle!"

We all laughed and I wiped the tears from my eyes. Once the laughter subsided, I
sighed, "Thanks you guys…you don't know how good it feels to be able to talk about
him. I've wanted to for so long."

Bella smiled, "So, how long have you been…well, are you boyfriends?"

I nodded, "Um…yeah. We've officially been together since June 29th."

Angela got to her feet and grabbed my hand while Bella grabbed the other one
and they pulled me up.

We all laid back down on the floor in front of our books and Angela whispered,
"So, Edward…how far have you guys went?"

I gasped and whispered, "Angela? What the hell?"

Bella giggled and whispered, "C'mon, Edward! We want details! I know all about
Angela and Ben's sex life and she knows about mine."

I took a sharp breath, "Girls talk about that stuff?"

Angela rolled her eyes, "Of course we do! Me and Ben are at the blow job/eating
out stage…"

And Bella whispered, "I've jacked Jake off a few times and he's fingered me
twice…"

My mind was reeling! These two sweet innocent girls were horndogs! They were
just as bad as the boys!

"Uh…um…blowjob stage, I guess."

Angela smiled, "Where's the kinkiest place you've ever done it? I gave Ben a blow
job on the slide at the park one night."

Bella giggled, "Jake fingered me at the movie theater."

- 305 -
 I couldn't help but laugh. Then I thought for a second, "Well…we gave each other
hand jobs in my dad's Vanquish while it was parked in the garage…and um…we did
that again last night in the back stairwell of a move theater."

They both doubled over in laughter and Angela gasped, "Who would've thought
you were so kinky, Edward!"

I just smiled, "Apparently, it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for."

We chatted a little more and eventually, my dad came to pick me up. The girls
swore they would keep everything to themselves and I trusted that they would. I
wasn't really worried about telling Jasper because he seemed pretty okay with
people knowing. I had to admit, it felt really good to know my friend's were okay
with it.

When we got to Jacob's house, my dad pulled up the drive and parked the car, "I
need to run in and talk to Billy for a few minutes, Edward. Go see if Jasper's ready to
go."

I nodded and walked into the garage. I took a sharp breath when I saw him. His
faded blue jeans hung low on his hips and he was wearing a wife beater. The garage
was heated so he must've taken his sweatshirt off. He was covered in dirt and oil
and his hair was all sweaty. He was sitting on the ground, tightening something up
on his bike with a wrench in his hand.

Don't get a boner…don't get a boner…don't get a…

"Oh, hey Edward. I didn't hear you come in," he smiled up at me and I could feel
my cheeks begin to burn.

He looked at me curiously and I managed to spit out, "Uh…um…hi."

Jacob stood up and walked over to his workbench grabbing a hand towel.
"Where's your dad at Edward?"

I tried to break my gaze from Jasper and was able to look over at Jake for a
moment, "Um…he's in the house with your dad. He'll be done in a few minutes."

Jasper got up and walked over to the sink. He squirted some orange goop in his
hands and started washing them.

I watched as he grabbed his sweatshirt and threw it on…causing his damn wife
- 306 -
beater to rise a bit and revealing that sexy little V that dipped underneath the waist
band of his jeans.

Okay…just pull your shirt down to cover the boner…

We all talked for a few minutes before stepping out of the garage just as another
car pulled up behind ours. Jacob excused himself to go to the bathroom and he left
and went inside the house. I watched as a woman got out of one side of the car
and…Brady got out of the other.

Mother fucker.

He came running over to us, "Hey guys, my mom forgot some paperwork."

He smiled over at me, "Um, hi Edward."

I nodded, "Hi there…um, what was your name again, I forgot?"

Jasper looked over at me confused and Brady gulped, "It's Brady."

I nodded again but said nothing. He took a breath and looked up at Jasper, "So,
um…how's the bike going?"

Jasper smiled, "Good. We're almost done."

I watched as Brady eyed up my man. I could feel the anger starting to bubble and
rise in me as his eyes lingered far too long.

Jasper turned, "Oh, I forgot my phone in the garage…be right back." He started
walking back to the garage and Brady's eyes drifted to his ass as he walked away.

What. The. Fuck.

I stepped into his line of sight and scowled as I whispered harshly, "Let's get one
thing clear right now, Bobby…that boy, he's mine. Keep your eyes to yourself or I
will fuck you up. Got it?"

Brady's eyes went wide as he stammered, "Uh…yeah…I'm sorry…I didn't mean

to…"

I stepped away as his eyes went to the ground. Jasper came walking back out of
the garage and he smiled at me, "So, did you boys play nice while I was gone?"
- 307 -
 I shrugged and Brady shoved his hands in his pocket and still looked at the
ground. Jasper looked over at him, confused again, "Brady? Everything okay?"

He nodded still not looking up, "Um…I have to go."

He started to walk away when Jasper grabbed his arm, "Hey, what's wrong with
you, man?"

Brady stammered again while looking everywhere but at him, "Uh…nothing

Jasper…everything's fine."

Jasper sighed, "So why won't you look at me?"

Brady blurted out, "Edward's going to kick my ass if I look at you!"

Jasper furrowed his brow and looked over at me, "Edward, did you…"

But all I heard was: Mine!

Before I even knew what I was doing, I shoved Brady away from him and grabbed
Jay by his sweatshirt, bringing his lips to mine in a fierce kiss.

When he gasped, I plunged my tongue into his mouth and fisted his hair between
my fingers. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist and pulled me closer to him
showing no signs of resistance. Then I heard Jacob, "Damn it, I owe Bella $20
bucks."

Then I heard a few more gasps and I broke away from the kiss wide eyed and
breathing heavily as I looked around and saw Billy, Brady's mom, Jacob, and my dad
standing there.

Jasper was panting too and Brady looked shocked.

My dad cocked his head to the side with a look of amusement, "You attacked him
in public, Edward? Well, that's new. Hmm…maybe we should go now."

Brady's mom's mouth hung open and she had a look of disgust on her face. Jacob
was howling in laughter and Billy was snickering as he tried not to laugh.

Brady's mom came over and jerked him by the arm, "Let's get out of here son,
before those fags try to turn you."

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 She dragged him off to the car and my dad suddenly didn't look so amused, "Hey,
don't you speak to my boys that way. Homosexuality is not an illness…it's not
something you can catch. It's impossible to turn someone gay…either you are or you
aren't but no one can make you gay."

She shoved Brady into the car and scowled at my dad, "You may be okay with your
boys being deviant sinners and turning away from God but my son will have nothing
to do with this immorality!"

Now Billy spoke up, "Now, Diane, just calm down…they're good boys…"

Then Brady stepped out of the car with a horrified look on his face, "Mom! Stop!
Do you really think that way? I've told you that I'm gay!"

She turned to him, "What the hell are you talking about?! You are perfectly
normal, Brady! You are not a damn faggot!"

I watched as his eyes welled up and he began to sob, "But I am."

She shoved him back in the car, "Keep your mouth shut, Brady! You are not gay
and we are done discussing this!"

She jumped in her car and they took off like a bat out of hell down the drive.

Billy sighed, "I'm sorry, Carlisle. She's a stubborn one. Hell, I've known that kid's
gay since he was nine but she just won't accept it."

Dad just shrugged, "It's okay, Billy. I just feel bad for that boy."

Jacob walked up and put his hand on my arm, "Don't worry about it, Edward. I
don't care…I'm cool with gays and stuff."

He snickered and Jasper sighed, "Jeez Edward…what the hell was that all about?"

My heart was racing and I could feel my eyes starting to burn, "I'm so sorry…I
just…God, I saw the way he looked at you and then you had your hand on him and…I
just lost it. I'm so sorry."

My dad walked by, "Come on, boys. Let's get you home."

We both nodded and said good-bye. I apologized to Billy and he just smiled and
laughed it off.
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 The car ride home was quiet and filled with tension.

I just outed us to Jacob and his dad and Brady and his damn mom. I made the poor
boy cry…God, I'm a jerk…

When we got home my dad just dropped us off because he had to go to work. My
mom was out shopping so Jasper and I were alone.

Once we walked in the house, I turned to Jasper, "I'm sorry for acting like that."

He folded his arms across his chest and furrowed his brows, "Don't you trust me?"

I looked up at him as a few tears slid down my cheek, "Of course I trust you…it's
just that…well, you wouldn't have to sneak around with him. And I know you think
he's cute…"

He sighed, "So, what? I think Jake's cute too but you don't threaten him. It's not
like I minded you kissing me, Edward but I didn't like where it came from."

My stomach was knotted and I tugged at my hair nervously, "I don't know, Jasper!
I just feel like…I mean, we've been together for almost six months…what if you get
bored?"

He shook his head in confusion, "Bored?"

I was pacing at this point, "Yeah! I mean, damn Jasper, you used to jump from girl
to girl…"

His mouth dropped open and he looked hurt as he whispered, "Are you callin me a
whore?"

I shook my head, "No! That's not what I meant!"

Now he was getting angry, "Well, what exactly do you mean, Edward?! You think
just cuz I can have the boy, that I will?! You think that I can't possibly be faithful if
an opportunity comes up for me to get some strange?! What the fuck do you mean?!"

I flopped down on the couch and held my head in my hands. I couldn't help the
tears that fell as I whispered, "I just don't understand why you want me."

I heard him let out a breath before he grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet,
"C'mon. We're settling this once and for fuckin all."
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 He pulled me upstairs to his bedroom and shut the door. He pulled my back to his
chest and faced us to look in the full length mirror on the back of the door.

"Arms up."

I lifted my arms as he said and he quickly yanked my shirt over my head and
dropped it to the floor. He was standing behind me as he wrapped his arms around
my waist.

He leaned into my ear and whispered, "Look at yourself, Edward. Really look. You
are not some scrawny, weird, little kid. You are the most gorgeous boy that I've ever
seen."

He began running his hands softly up and down my stomach, "Look at your body,
Edward. It's perfect. You see all these cuts of your muscles? You are so fuckin sexy I
can barely stand it…I think you can feel what you do to me…"

With that he pressed himself into me and I felt his hard cock twitch against my
ass. I couldn't help the blush that came to my cheeks. He smiled over my shoulder,
"You see that? That fuckin blush is the most adorable thing I've ever seen. As far as
looks go…you're fuckin perfect, Edward. You're gorgeous and beautiful and sexy as
fuckin hell and absolutely adorable all at the same time. You're everything I could
ever want."

Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the bed. He sat me down on the
edge and he knelt on the floor between my legs. His hands were on my hips and I
could feel his warm breath against my stomach as he looked up at me and spoke,
"You wanna know why I jumped from girl to girl? I was just tryin to find one that felt
right. I just did that cuz I thought it was what I was supposed to do and I was scared
half to death cuz I didn't ever really want any of them. And then I kissed you and
found what I wanted. God, Edward…I fantasized about that damn kiss for a year and
a half. There were so many times when I just wanted to kiss you again cuz it felt
right with you and not just cuz you're a boy…cuz you're you, Edward."

I watched as his eyes became glossy and his voice strained, "You were my first
and only crush. I didn't realize it at the time but I wanted you so bad and I was so
scared that I was gonna fuck you up cuz I was so fuckin in love with you. You wanna
know why I'm in love with you?"

I simply nodded as he poured his soul out to me.

"You looked at me like I was Superman, Edward. You made me feel special and
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important. I may have beaten up a few guys for you but you fuckin saved me, darlin.
If anyone here is an angel…it's you. Do you remember my first winter here in the
seventh grade?"

I nodded again and whispered, "Yeah."

He continued to look up at me with shimmering blue eyes, "I didn't show up for
school one day and what did you do?"

I smiled a little at the memory, "I ditched and walked to your house to make sure
you were okay."

He smiled back, "Yeah, and I was sick. I had a real bad cold and I was at the house
all alone. What did you do?"

I whispered, "I walked to the corner market and bought you some medicine…and
tea…and the stuff to make chicken noodle soup from scratch."

He laughed softly, "Yeah, Edward. And after you gave me some medicine, made
me some tea and chicken noodle soup, you rubbed my shoulders cuz my back hurt
from lyin on that damn mattress. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up four hours
later…you were still lyin next to me. For four hours you laid by my side while I slept
in a room with no TV, no books to read, and no radio. You laid on a damn mattress
on the floor and took care of me when you coulda been at home in your warm, comfy
house having fun. That was the sweetest fuckin thing anyone had ever done for me."

I smiled down at him and he smiled back.

Then he reached up and brushed his rough palm across my cheek, "Do you
remember the first time you met my mama?"

I leaned into his palm and sighed at the horrid memory.

He honey voice whispered thick with emotion, "We were lying on my mattress,
doing homework cuz you were forcin me to study for that Lit test on Romeo and
Juliet. Remember, I asked you to read it to me cuz I said I didn't understand it?"

I smiled and nodded.

He laughed, "I understood every fuckin word, Edward…I just wanted an excuse to
hear your voice reading those words…you made it so much…prettier."

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 I blushed and he continued, "Anyway, my mama came in drunk and high as fuck.
She started screaming at me, telling me that studying wasn't gonna do me no good
cuz I was just plain stupid. She was screaming at how useless I was and how I was a
worthless bastard just like my dad. And then she looked at you and asked you why a
high class kid like you would wanna hang out with a loser like me? Do you
remember what you said?"

I cupped his chin and brushed my thumbs across his cheeks as I looked into the
stormy blue eyes, "I said, 'Jasper is the most amazing person I've ever known and if
you're too stupid to see that, then you're the worthless loser who's going to miss out
on knowing how incredible he is."

He smiled and leaned into my palms now, "You stood up for me, Edward…against
my crazy mom. You were my Superman. You grabbed my backpack and our books
and you said that I was going to stay the night at your place. I was on cloud nine
that night, man. Don't you realize…I believed my mama for all those years. I
believed I was trash until you came along. You saw me differently and all I ever
wanted to do was live up to the way you saw me. You made me wanna be better than
I was…better than I ever thought I could be. I'm gonna make something of myself,
Edward. I'm gonna be a good man one day and that's all because of you."

I leaned down and brushed my lips against his soft ones and whispered, "You're
already a good man, Jasper."

His eyes closed and his lips moved gently against mine. And then his silky tongue
slid out and I tasted the sweetest of honey with a low groan for more. His breathing
quickly accelerated as I felt him stand and pull me with him, never unlocking our
tongues from their lovers embrace.

My hands immediately went to the bottom of his sweatshirt and quickly pulled it
over his head, breaking our kiss for only a moment. Then his hands reached behind
him and yanked the wife beater off before returning to my awaiting lips with a
ferocity.

My fingers were twined in his golden curls and he tugged at my bronze locks with
an fervent urgency. He broke away from the kiss with ragged breaths and lidded
midnight eyes as he whispered, "When's your mom gonna get home?"

I answered back in equally short breaths and lidded lust-filled eyes, "She's
shopping with her sister…we have a couple hours."

He smiled, "Good." And with that, his arms were around my waist and his hands
- 313 -
slipped underneath my ass as I felt my feet leave the ground. My arms tightened
around his neck and I gasped as my legs wrapped around his waist.

With one hand, he yanked the blankets down and threw me in his bed, falling on
top of me as we both began laughing. The laughter was soon replaced as his lips
found the juncture of my shoulder and neck and he began nipping and sucking the
tender flesh.

My head lulled back with a deep moan and my hands gripped the strong muscles
of his back sliding up and down the strong contours of his body. My legs were still
wrapped around his waist and he began softly rolling his hips into mine…causing
that lovely thick cock of his to grind knowingly into mine.

Already submerged in a love and lust filled fog, when he pulled away, I
whimpered. He smiled and looked down upon me lovingly and hungrily as his hands
began unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans.

I lifted my hips so he could slide them and my boxer briefs down my legs,
dropping them to the floor. I was already thick and throbbing as he crawled back up
my body and caught my lips in a searing kiss. His hands tenderly brushed along my
arms and hips and back. I broke free from his intoxicating lips and whispered, "I
need to feel all of you, Jay. Lose the clothes, hot boy."

He smiled and lifted up to his knees. As he gazed down at me through thick full
lashes and hazy lidded eyes, his hands began undoing his jeans…slowly. With a
wicked smile on his angelic face, the boy delivered his exquisite torture with shear
perfection. And the one word that seems to be stuck on repeat in my mind whenever
he is close to me…more.

And I was finally rewarded as he slid his jeans down over his strong hips,
revealing my hidden treasure. Much like him, it was strong and rigid and hard, with
soft satin skin but on the inside…the sweetest of honey was my gift. I quickly sat up
and took him into my mouth, relishing in the feel of him between my lips and
dripping on my tongue. I lavished him with love as his hands gripped his calves and
his head lulled back with a beautiful moan from his pink, plump lips.

I gripped his length with my hand as I teased and licked the sweet salty slit that
was weeping with joy. My name fell from his lips like a heavenly prayer and I had to
look up to gaze into my lover's eyes to ensure the validity of what I was doing to him
.

And somewhere between the look in his soft blue eyes and the whisper of my
- 314 -
name dripping from his tongue and the throbbing vein underneath my tongue…I got
it.

He feels the same way about me as I do him. He loves me with everything he has.
I was his Superman once…maybe I still am. This is it. This is real. This is love.

And passion and devotion overtook me as I raised quickly to my knees and pulled
his lips to mine, urgent and wanton but completely filled with love.

Our hands were locked in each other's hair as we willed our bodies to come even
closer…the need to just crawl inside each other and stay where we were safe and
wanted and loved was more intense than anything I had ever known.

We kissed as our naked bodies fit together so perfectly and all I kept thinking
was…more.

I pulled away and slipped underneath the blankets, pulling him with me. We
kissed forever, naked in his bed…and being with him like this…this was home.

His body lay on mine, two simple pieces of a broken puzzle that, when connected,
was absolutely brilliant and complex. And I wanted him more than I had ever wanted
anything. I broke from the kiss and whispered in a soft moan, "Make love to me, Jay.
Please baby…please…"

His eyes stared deep into mine and I could see the internal battle he fought as he
whispered through ragged breaths, "I want to Edward…so fuckin bad…please don't
tempt me…"

I answered back with pleas of my own, "It's not temptation…it's fruition. It's going
to happen, Jasper…why not now?"

He rolled over on his back and held his hands over his face as he groaned,
"Edward…I want to…I'm not ready…"

I rolled to my side and pulled his hands from his face, "But you've done this
before…"

His hands went to my face as he whispered, "No, Edward…I've fucked ten ways to
Sunday…but I've never made love…I've never cared so much…I'm fuckin terrified,
darlin…please just…I need time…"

I leaned into his palm and whispered, "Why are you terrified? You're not scared of
- 315 -
anything, Jay."

He whispered back, "I'm scared of messing things up with you, Edward. I'm
scared I'm gonna hurt you…I'm scared it won't be good for you…I'm scared of a lot
things."

And I didn't want to push him, "Jay, I know it's going to hurt the first time, but I
know that you'll make it special and wonderful…just like you've made all my first
times…but I understand, babe."

He smiled as he pulled me close, "I just don't want our first time at this to be
rushed cuz your mom's gonna be home soon. When we make love for the first time, I
wanna make sure that I can be with you all night and wake up with you still in my
arms. This is the last 'first' time I've got, Edward…I need it to be right. Besides, our
first time together, you're gonna make love to me…and I'm not ready yet, baby."

I smiled back, that crooked little smile that I know he loves, "You're right, Jasper.
We should wait. I love you and I want it to be right too. In fact, I've been thinking
about it…a lot. And I have a request."

He looked at me curiously, "Anything, darlin."

I held his hand in mine as our fingers clenched, "When we make love…I want to
feel you and only you. I don't want to use condoms."

He took in a sharp breath and I continued, "It will be safe, Jay. I'm a virgin and
you've always used condoms…"

He shook his head, "No, I haven't."

I was confused, "But I thought…you told Maria that you wouldn't have sex without
a condom."

He sighed, "Yeah, Edward…the last few years I've always used them but I started
having sex when I was twelve, man. I didn't even really know about condoms the
first time I fucked Sarah. I've fucked a few girls without them…I'm sorry…I didn't…I
mean, I wasn't…"

He was frustrated now and I didn't want him to feel that way, "It's okay, Jasper…I
understand. You weren't as lucky as I am to have someone as special and wonderful
as you guiding your first time."

- 316 -
 He let out a sigh of relief and smiled, "Edward…it's been two years since I was
with anyone without a condom…I'll go to the doctor and get tested for everything.
As long as I come back okay, we'll make love without them."

I smiled, "Really?"

He laughed softly and pulled me closer, "Yeah. I wanna feel you too, Edward…in
fact," now he smiled that wicked little smile that makes my whole body tingle, "Did I
ever tell you what my favorite number was?"

I cocked an eyebrow with curiosity, "Um…no."

He reached down and grabbed my rigid shaft, "69...now, get that pretty cock of
yours up here, darlin."

I laughed softly and positioned myself above him as I whispered, "You really think
it's pretty?"

Now he smiled that dimpled smile at me, "Fuckin beautiful, Edward."

I leaned down and took his cock into my mouth again and a moment later, I felt
his warm wet mouth envelop me.

Oh my god…

Now this was the best of both worlds…my body was in ecstasy overload as he
worked his soft lips and slick tongue over me while I tasted his sticky sweetness and
satin over steel.

He moaned around me as I carefully rolled my hips and made love to his mouth.
After a few minutes, I pulled my hips away and he whimpered…I giggled.

He smacked my ass and I yelped. He laughed, "Don't fuckin tease me,

Edward…you ain't gonna win…"

I laughed now as much as I could with his big thick cock halfway down my throat.
I gently pushed my cock in and out of his eager waiting mouth a few times and
pulled away again.

He laughed, "Okay…you're asking for it, Edward."

I lifted my head and looked back at him with a crooked smile as I wiggled my ass,
- 317 -
"I'm begging for it, Jay."

And before I knew what was happening, he flipped me over and my back was now
against the bed. He now straddled my chest and held my arms down with his knees.
He held his cock in his hand, above my eager lips and laughed, "I warned you."

I whimpered as I tried to raise my head to lick his shaft but he pulled it away, "Uh
uh uh…Edward. You wanna taste?"

I groaned, "Yes…please, Jay…"

He smiled, "Are you gonna play nice?"

I nodded, "I promise…I'll be good."

He smirked as he brought his weeping head down and brushed it across my lips.
The taste of salty sticky honey clung to my lips and I wanted more. I wrapped my
lips around the head and he abruptly pulled it away.

I growled, "Stop teasing me!"

Now he really laughed, "What? It was funny when you were teasing me…not so
funny now, huh?"

He was off his guard and I took my chance, "Oh, that's it, Whitlock…this is war…"

I quickly jumped up and caught him off guard as he fell against the bed and I
quickly straddled him, nudging his legs open and holding his hands to the bed on
either side of his beautiful face. I felt his cock twitch excitedly as I now took control.

I smiled down with my wicked little grin as I grinded my hips slow but rough
against his, "You want to cum, Jay?"

His hooded eyes sparkled as he gazed at me, "Yeah, baby…make me cum."

I leaned down and whispered, "Beg."

He moaned softly, "Please, Edward…please, darlin…I need you, baby…please

make me cum."

My lips gently kissed underneath his ear and he trembled beneath me. I
whispered, "I love you, Jasper."
- 318 -
 He moaned louder this time as he whispered breathless and shaking, "I love you
too, Edward."

I took his lips to mine and released his hands so they could leave their trail of fire
along my skin. They traveled along the contours of my back and shoulders before
making their way down to my ass and squeezing with both hands.

I broke from the kiss with a smile, "I really want to taste you, Jay…do you want to
try the 69 thing again…no more teasing, I promise."

He smiles back, "Yeah…on our sides this time."

I rolled off of him and moved down the bed to his awaiting love as I brought mine
up to him. He took me into his mouth again and I moaned softly as I took him into
mine. The sensation was powerful and erotic as I tasted him and he tasted me.

He rolled my sack softly in his hands and I mimicked him. His warm wet mouth
was Heaven around me and we both moaned unabashedly around one another as we
brought each other to ecstasy.

I could feel the wonderful tension build in the pit of my stomach and travel down
until I erupted deep within his throat. He drank me in, gently and lovingly and not
much later, I felt his sack tighten in my hand and he spilled his sweet nectar into my
wanton mouth.

I relished in the taste, not sure when I would get the opportunity to taste him
again. We both rolled over on our backs, weak and satisfied. He looked down at me
and smiled, "C'mere, baby."

I crawled up his body and laid my head on his chest. The familiar sound of his
strong heart beating was the most beautiful melody I ever recall hearing.

We laid there for awhile, just talking and kissing before we heard my mom yell,
"Hey boys! Come help me get the groceries out of the car!"

That brought us back to reality as we jumped from the bed and scrambled to get
dressed quickly. Looking completely guilty with sweaty bodies and matted, crazy
hair, we trudged downstairs and helped my mom bring the groceries in.

Once they were put away, she smirked at us, "Hey Edward, your shirt is inside out
and Jasper, yours is on backwards."

- 319 -
 Busted.

We both turned red as we hurriedly fixed our shirts. She just shook her head and
laughed, "When the cat's away…"

The mice will play. Thank God my parents are so cool.

We both headed up the stairs to take showers but I stopped him before he went in
his room, "Hey Jay? Do you still have Brady's phone number?"

He pulled out his phone, "Yeah, man, I'll erase it…"

I shook my head, "No, don't. Can I have it? I need to call and apologize."

He beamed at me, "Sure, Edward."

He gave me the number then wrapped his arms around me once more, "You're
really amazing, darlin. Thank you."

I just smiled and kissed his sweet lips before walking into my room.

I dialed the number and prayed his psycho mom didn't answer.

"Hello?"

I cleared my throat, "Um…Brady?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"Um…it's Edward Cullen…"

He immediately went frantic, "God, I'm so sorry, Edward…please don't kick my

ass, I'll never talk to him again…"

"Brady, calm down, man. Breathe. I'm not mad. I'm actually calling to apologize. It
was very immature of me to threaten you like that. I don't know what got into
me…I'm just very…protective of Jasper."

He laughed now, "Who can blame you, Edward? I'd be protective too. I'm not
going to lie, I think Jasper's gorgeous…but I really just want to be his friend. He was
nice to me…most people aren't. Hell, if you were nice to me at the party, I'd totally
be crushing on you right now…"
- 320 -
 I laughed now, "Really?"

He chuckled again, "Yeah…God, Edward…you're the most beautiful boy I've ever
seen. I saw you at the recital last year when you were playing piano…you were my
first crush."

Then he went frantic again, "Crap! Now, Jasper's going to kick my ass…"

I shook my head and laughed again, "No one's going to kick your ass, Brady. I'm
sorry I was so jealous."

He sighed, "You were jealous? Of me? Why? I'm a freak, Edward. No one would
want me."

I sat on my bed as the familiar words stung me, "Brady, that's not true. You're not
a freak at all. You're actually very cute and you seem really sweet. I can see why
Jasper wanted to be your friend."

"You think I'm cute?"

I chuckled a little now, "Yeah. Look, Brady…it wasn't too long ago that I felt the
exact same way you feel. Jasper befriended me and I honestly had no idea why. But
even before we became something more, just having him as a friend was everything
to me. Going through those feelings I was having was so hard…but I had Jasper to
help me through. Now, you have Jasper and I to help you through. I would like to be
your friend, if you'd like to be?"

He let out a sigh of relief, "Really? That's so nice of you, Edward. Jasper was
right…you are pretty amazing."

"Thank you, Brady. So, is everything okay with you and your mom?"

He sounded sad as he spoke, "No. Nothing's ever been okay with us. I mean,
honestly, she knows I'm gay. I've never been that secretive about it…I mean, I used
to watch Grease as a kid and I totally always sung Olivia Newton-John's part instead
of John Travolta…"

I laughed, "Well, she did have the best parts."

Now he laughed, "Yeah."

Then he was quiet again, "I know I'm a disappointment to my parents…my dad
- 321 -
even gave me his stack of Playboy's to try and turn me back normal. I just can't help
who I like."

I sighed, "I'm sorry, man. That must be really hard. Well, if you ever need to talk,
please call me or even Jasper. I promise not to get jealous again. And if your parents
would approve, maybe we can hang out sometime."

"Thank you, Edward. This really means the world to me."

"You're welcome, Brady. Well, I have to go take a shower now…"

He groaned, "Um…if you could maybe not mention showering…that would be

great."

My cheeks turned red and I laughed, "Um…sorry. Well, I'll talk to you later,
okay?"

"Okay, Edward. Thanks again. You're just as cool as I always thought you were."

My cheeks burned hotter, "You're welcome. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone feeling pretty good about myself.

I was Jasper's first crush…Brady's first crush…and Brady thinks I'm cool…life can
be pretty damn amazing sometimes.

- 322 -
 Chapter 18

FYI - I put the link to my youtube on my profile page. A lot of the songs I
use are in my favorites.

I have to give a big thanks to philomena for sketching a very cute picture
of my boys. It's my new avatar so take a look. Anyway, it's awesome, girl, and
I really appreciate you taking the time to do it.

Things will start moving along pretty soon, guys, but I wanna make sure
all my characters are flushed out enough before I move along. And I tend to
be a little like Eddie and become a little verbose. So, yeah, this story may
end up being pretty damn long. Hopefully, you guys are cool with that and
will stick with me. Thanks for reading!

Jasper's POV

As the hot water sprayed over me, I had to laugh at the events of this afternoon.

It may be wrong of me but jealous Edward…so fuckin hot. I can't believe he kissed
me like that…in front of everyone. And I'm really proud of him for manning up and
callin Brady. Edward's the shit. I hope he finally gets it now…I hope he finally
understands that I ain't goin nowhere.

Once I got outta the shower and threw on some jeans and a t-shirt, I heard a
knock on my door before it opened.

He stuck his head in and I smiled at the damp bronze haired boy smiling back at
me.

"Hey Jay, want to play Call of Duty?"

I nodded, "Sure, man."

We went downstairs and copped seats on the floor as we started playing video
games.

"So, Eddie? How'd the talk with Brady go?"

He smiled, "He liked me first."

- 323 -
 I laughed, "Huh? What are you talkin about?"

He proceeded to tell me the conversation they had and I smiled, "See, Edward?
Told ya you were hot."

He shook his head and laughed, "I'm cool too."

I nudged into him, "You're very cool, Edward. I mean, you're dating me…you gotta
be pretty cool."

We played around for a little while and he told me about the conversation he had
with Bella and Angela. I was ecstatic that he told someone he trusted. He had made
a lot of really big steps this weekend. We talked a little more and decided it would
still be best if we didn't come out at school yet but it was a big relief that some of
our closest friends knew and were cool with it.

The night passed easily and the next morning I was awoken by my cell.

I answered groggily, "What?"

"Shopping, that's what. I'll be at your house in half an hour, Jazzy. See you then."

I looked warily at the clock…8:30am.

Why the fuck did I agree to this again?

I groaned, "Okay, Ali. I'll be ready."

I quickly showered and threw on some jeans and a dark blue pullover. I heard the
doorbell ring and I ran down the stairs and pulled it open.

Alice smiled up at me and held out a cup of coffee, "Here you go, sleepyhead. Let's
get a move on."

I grabbed my jacket and trudged out the door. I gasped when I saw her little
yellow Porsche…it was very Alice.

"Fuck, Ali! That's a god damn Porsche!"

She giggled and pulled on her sunglasses, "Yes it is. Her name is Sasha and she's
my baby so be careful with that coffee."

- 324 -
 You gotta love a woman that names her car…

I jumped in and admired it a bit as we pulled off onto the road. It didn't escape my
attention that Alice's outfit matched her car.

I found hanging out with Alice very easy and natural. It was impossible not to like
the girl. She was like a little crazy crack addicted pixie…what's there not to like. I
figured shopping with her would be an adventure. I actually loved to shop. My mama
never took me school clothes shopping so when I was old enough to make my own
money, it was one of the things I really enjoyed. Before I could buy my own clothes,
life was a nightmare cuz I wore whatever my mama got me which was always
second hand and dorky as all hell. So, to be able to buy clothes that made me look
and feel good, was really fun for me. It may be girlie and all…but what the fuck ever.

I had a few hundred bucks left from my summer work but figured I'd have to get
some sorta job pretty soon. Edward and I would be getting our driver's licenses in
the summer and although Carlisle had tried to give me an allowance on several
occasions…I just couldn't take his money. I wanted to earn my own…take care of
myself as much as possible. And I knew that insurance on my bike, would be pretty
damn expensive.

We made our way to the mall in Seattle in record time. We wandered in and out of
a few stores and soon enough we were at the food court having lunch. She smiled
over at me as she scarfed down her burrito, "You really should go back and buy
those dark jeans, Jazzy. Your ass looked incredible in them."

I sighed and really hoped that all of the little compliments she had been throwin at
me all day didn't mean anything. I really liked her and liked hanging out with her.
She'd probably be pissed when I tell her that I'm not interested in her like that…but
I had to tell her.

"Um…Ali? I really like you…but only as a friend."

Much to my surprise, she started laughing hysterically. Once the laughter died
down, she dabbed her eyes with her napkin and smiled at me, "I like you as a friend
too, Jazzy. You're totally not my type."

I smirked, "I'm everyone's type, darlin."

She just smirked back, "Well…not everyone. Look, Jay….I'm not even really sure
what my type is. I love hanging out with you and everything but…"

- 325 -
 She sighed and seemed to look a little sad. I reached across the table and pulled
her little hand in mine, "What's wrong, Ali?"

She hung her down for a moment as she whispered, "Can you keep a secret?"

I squeezed her hand a little and whispered, "Yeah, darlin. You can tell me
anything."

She leaned over to me and in a hushed whisper she asks, "You and
Edward…you're together, right? Like a couple?"

At this point in the weekend, I just sigh and nod, "Yeah. Please don't tell anyone."

She gives me a weak smile, "I won't…I just thought that maybe…I had an ulterior
motive for asking you to come with me today. I thought maybe you could help me."

I nod, "Anything, Ali. Tell me and I'll do anything I can to help."

She sighs, "I'm so confused. Rosalie and I…we started fooling around when we
were twelve, ya know? I'm not in love with her and she's not in love with me or
anything but it just…it always felt comfortable. We fooled around for years until she
turned sixteen and got her first real boyfriend. She said she didn't feel right about
what we were doing anymore and honestly, I was okay with that. But now I'm
confused because…I really liked being with her. I've been with a couple of guys that
I really liked too but I still can't deny that I really like being with girls too. I don't
know if I could ever, like, date a girl…but I like the physical part."

I smiled a little as I leaned closer to her, "Alice, it sounds like you're tryin to
define something that maybe you ain't ready to define yet. You've got plenty of time
to figure it out. Maybe you're bi or something…have you been with any other girls?"

She shook her head, "No. You were with girls before you and Edward got
together…did you like it? Are you bi?"

I chuckled softly and shook my head, "No, darlin. I'm into guys…well, Edward. I
was only pretending to like the girls I was with and at the end of it all…I really hated
the physical part of being with them. Don't worry your pretty little head over it,
darlin. You'll figure it out when you're ready. Have you talked to Rose?"

She nods, "Yeah…I mean, I tell her everything. She's still my best friend in the
whole world. She understands and supports me no matter what. She just said that
when she started dating boys…she knew that was what she wanted. But I just don't
- 326 -
know."

And I just have to ask, "Ali? How did ya know about me and Edward?"

She rolls her eyes and lets out a bark of laughter, "Please, Jazzy…it's so
obvious…well, to anyone who really knows you two well. I mean, when Edward and I
were watching you play football…he had to keep adjusting himself. It was really
funny because he tried to be nonchalant about it…but he was so totally turned on by
you out there. And I see the way you look at him…it's in your eyes, Jasper. They way
you two look at each other…it's so…deep. Don't worry though, I'm pretty sure
outsiders are clueless…I mean, after all…you're Jasper fucking Whitlock…"

Now I start laughing. The rest of the day went really well. I had a lot of fun with
Alice but I was tired as hell when I got home. At this point, the only ones that didn't
know for sure were Rosalie, Ben, Embry, Seth, and Paul. I was pretty sure than Ben
and Rosalie would be okay with it if they found out. Embry, Seth, and Paul…I wasn't
so sure but the boys hung out like a pack of damn wolves with Jake as their Alpha so
if he was cool with it, chances are they would go along with it too.

Edward and I hung out later that night and I told him that Alice also knew about
us. He was starting to get a little more nervous about the whole situation…I mean,
Hell, almost all of our close friends knew now. And although we both trusted
them…all it would take is one little slip to push us out of the proverbial closet. I was
fine with that cuz I knew without a doubt that no fuckin high school kid could break
me…Edward, however, he was more delicate and could be easily damaged by being
pushed before he was ready. That made me nervous.

I fell into a restless sleep and it was the sound of the shower running at 2 in the
mornin that woke me up.

Fuck.

I drew back the covers and ran down to Edward's room. My heart was beating like
a mad man as I walked into his bathroom. The shower was running but Edward was
kneeling over the bathtub, his head was on his arms that were resting on the edge.
He hadn't gotten in. He was shaking and whispering to himself, fighting against the
urge to get into the tub. He was trying to convince himself that it was just a dream.

I spoke quietly to try and not frighten him further, "Edward?"

But he jumped anyway and looked up at me with bright, bloodshot eyes. They
were puffy and red and so was his little nose. My heart was breaking all over again.
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 "My ang…I mean, Jasper…I'm okay…I'm okay…" he was pleading with me to
believe him as he whispered that he was okay over and over again in short, heavy
breaths.

I knelt down next to him and he launched himself into my arms. I held him tight
and rocked him back and forth until the whispers of 'I'm okay' ceased.

After a few minutes, he pulled away sheepishly and muttered, "I'm sorry."

I ran my fingers down his cheek and smiled, "Why are you sorry? You didn't get in,
Edward…I'm real proud of you, darlin."

He smiled now and sniffled, "Really?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I saw you fightin against it, babe. I can't imagine how hard that
must be for you."

He sighed, "I'm taking the medicine…I'm doing the counseling…why is this still
happening? Do you think it will ever stop?"

I pulled him back into my arms and ran my fingers through his hair as he cuddled
to my chest, "These nightmares aren't gonna go away overnight but I think in time
things will lessen some. It's just gonna take time, Edward. I'd give anything to take
it all away from you."

He was shivering a bit so I stood and pulled him up with me, "C'mon, babe…let's
get you back to bed."

We walked back to his bed and he slipped underneath the covers. I leaned over
and kissed him softly, "Night, baby."

He grabbed my hand, "Wait! Um…will you stay until I fall asleep…please?"

Like I could say no to him…

I nodded and sat down next to him as he laid back down, holding my hand tightly
in his. I had left Edward's bedroom door open so I hoped that if his parents came
upstairs, they would see that we weren't doing anything and I was just trying to help
him through a nightmare.

As he laid there and I sat, I noticed that his eyes were still wide open. I also
noticed that his DVD player was still on even though his TV was off. I grabbed the
- 328 -
remote from his nightstand and whispered, "What were you watching, Eddie? A
horror movie or something…"

Just as I clicked the TV on he reached out and tried to swipe the remote away.
What I saw on the TV was…pretty shocking…but also, really fuckin adorable.

Winnie the Pooh was playing. I chuckled a little and Edward was bright red. I
raised an eyebrow at him and he just shrugged, "I…um…I like Winnie the
Pooh…well, Tigger more actually…but…um…yeah."

I watched the TV for a minute as Pooh bear was stuck in Rabbit's front door,
apparently too plump to get through from all the honey he had eaten.

I smiled at Edward, "You read this book a lot as a kid, huh?"

I remembered him saying that he only had a copy of Winnie the Pooh and the
Bible to read as a child.

He bit his lip and blushed again, "Um…yeah…"

I laughed softly, "Maybe this is where your whole honey fascination comes from."

Now he laughed a little too, "Um…it is actually. I had never had honey when I was
with my parents. I remember thinking about how fantastic it must be to have Pooh
bear so smitten. So, when I was in the hospital…a nurse gave me a biscuit one
morning and one of those little packets of honey. It was the best day of my life to
that point. Anyway, I started eating it with everything. I must've had 100 packets of
honey hidden under my mattress. Honey made me happy…just like Pooh bear."

He flashed me that crooked smile as he blushed and it took my breath away.

God damn he's too fuckin cute for words…

I smiled, "I'll have to remember that."

He blushed again and I whispered, "So, Tigger, huh? Why him?"

He chuckled a little and looked down at his blanket, "Um…I like his personality.
He's always so much fun…and he's so damn cocky…I mean, he sings a whole song
about how great Tigger's are and the fact that he's the only one. I remember
thinking how great it must be to have so much confidence. He kind of reminds
me…of you."
- 329 -
 Now I laughed good at that and had to put my hand over my mouth to keep it
quiet. I guess if I lived in the 100 Acre Woods…I would totally be Tigger. Personally,
I liked Piglet the best. He was always stuttering and painfully shy…you just wanted
to pick him up and cuddle him.

He nudged into me and rolled his eyes, "Alright…enough making fun of me. Now,
you have to share something embarrassing with me…it's only fair."

I stifled my laughter and tried to think of something, "Hmm…okay, before I moved

in here…um, my favorite show was…ugh…Spongebob."

Now he starts cracking up, "Why Spongebob?"

I shrug, "Dude, that shit's funny as fuck when you're high. Have you ever watched
it?"

He shook his head as he still giggled.

I flicked off his DVD player and went to the online guide and quickly found an
episode of Spongebob. That was another reason I liked it…it was always on TV no
matter what time of day or night it was.

I leaned against the head board and he snuggled into my chest again, "Here ya go,
Eddie. Watch this…I don't know if it's as funny when you're sober, but let's find out."

We cuddled together and watched the cartoon, giggling every now and then and
this…right here, right now…this was gonna be one of my best memories. I loved
confident, sexy Edward…but I adored sweet, innocent, endearing Edward.

Sometimes, things were really intense between us and definitely on a very mature
level…but then there were times like this. Times when we could be silly and act like
kids…I never had a real friend as a kid…hell, I never really felt like a kid. It was nice
to feel like a kid sometimes. Edward could always remind me of that and it helped
me feel like maybe some of those childhood wounds were healing. With him, it was
okay for me to let my guard down. I trusted him…and I really fuckin loved him.

I wish we coulda been friends our whole lives…I woulda loved to have had Edward
as a friend when I was a little kid…

A few minutes into the episode, Carlisle walked into the room. He yawned, "What
are you boys doing?"

- 330 -
 Edward raised up from my chest and looked at his dad, "Um…I was having a
nightmare and I guess I woke Jay up. He came to check on me and I asked him to
stay until I was asleep…"

Now I jumped in, "Yeah, I left the door open…sorry, Carlisle…"

His dad sat on the bed next to us and yawned again. He had been working a whole
lotta hours these past few weeks and he looked beat. But he smiled softly, "Do you
want to talk about it, son?"

Edward shook his head, "No…um…it was really just the same as all the others."

Edward's eyes were still bloodshot and he looked worn out. I started to stand up,
"I guess I'll go back to bed now…"

But Edward reached for my arm and yanked me back down. He wrapped himself
around my arm and became frantic, "Don't go! Please don't leave me alone!"

He looked over to his dad as his eyes became wet again, "Please dad! Please…just
tonight. I…I need him…please let him stay with me tonight…I swear we won't do
anything…we'll leave the door open…just…God, please dad…" His voice broke on
the last plea and he was shaking as he held onto me with everything he had.

I wrapped my other arm around him and squeezed as I whispered, "Shh…it's

gonna be okay, Edward."

He let out a deep breath and stopped shaking as he sighed into my chest.

Carlisle blew out a puff of air and ran his hand through his hair. He grabbed the
remote and walked around to the other side of the bed, "Alright, son. Scoot over. If
Jasper's staying…I'm staying."

Edward giggled and I chuckled a little.

He looked at his dad, "Really?"

Carlisle nodded, "Yep. It's a king size bed now scoot your butt over…I'm tired."

Carlisle crawled in bed and flicked off the TV, "No Spongebob if I'm staying…that
Patrick's a moron."

This was all a little awkward and weird but kinda funny so I slipped under the
- 331 -
blanket and held Edward's hand as we all laid on our backs. A moment later, Esme
walked in. She yawned, "What's going on?"

Carlisle smiled at her, "I thought we'd have a sleepover. Wanna join?"

Esme giggled as she walked around to Carlisle, "Family sleepover, huh? Cool, I'm
staying too. Scoot over."

Now we all started laughing cuz this was getting pretty ridiculous. Finally, we
were all smushed in the bed cuz even for a king size, we were still four grown
people in it.

And we all fell asleep like that. And it was funny and strange…but kinda nice.

I woke up the next morning with my back to Edward and his arms wrapped
around my waist. Esme was shaking us and whispering, "Time to get up, boys."

We slowly started getting out of bed and she whispered, "Shh. Let your dad sleep.
He's really exhausted."

Edward grabbed him some clothes and we took turns showering and getting ready
in my room so Carlisle could sleep.

We had breakfast with Esme and she scolded us a bit about the inside
out/backwards shirt thing but she wasn't really upset about it. As we walked to
school, Edward and I were both a little nervous about what to expect. Now I was
really questioning if we shoulda been coming out to everyone the way we did cuz if
something happened and Edward got hurt…I was going to do very bad things to
whoever was responsible.

The morning passed by pretty quick without incident. We all met up in lunch and
chatted a bit when Rosalie looked over at us both. We were pretty nervous still and I
think it was obvious to those at the table that knew.

She smirked at us, "So, did you boys hear of any good gossip this weekend?"

Don't make me kill you Rose…

Edward glanced at me and noticeably gulped. Rosalie laughed, "I heard something
great! Mike Newton was trying to finger Jessica at the movie theater on Saturday
night but her jeans were so tight that his chubby little hand skin got caught in her
zipper! Fucking priceless!"
- 332 -
 I let out a breath as she winked at us and gave us a small smile while everyone
started chatting about it.

And the rest of the day passed fine. Nobody treated us any different or mentioned
anything. I had football practice damn near every night with my first game on Friday
night. Edward stayed and watched practice with Alice and sometimes Bella, Jake, or
Angela and Ben.

Emmett gave us a ride home every night and I was kinda blown away by how
easily everyone accepted us and never showed any indifference now that they knew.
At one time in my life…I didn't want any real friends. But now…I felt really blessed
to have them.

I called Peter on Wednesday to check in with him. We talked a couple times a

week usually. Charlotte was getting along okay but she still had her good days and
bad days. He was real proud of us coming out to Carlisle, Esme, and a few of our
close friends. We made plans to get together on Sunday and go fishing if the
weather held out.

Friday night, after the game, which we won by the way…we all went out for pizza
and were hanging out when Rose smiled at us, "So, tomorrow night…my place. We'll
watch movies and hang out. I've got a big game room in the basement with a pool
table and dartboards…plus, we have a heated indoor swimming pool. It's unreal. You
guys have to come! It will only be us there."

I looked at Eddie and he shrugged, "Um…sure. Do you care if we bring a friend?"

She shook her head, "Nope, I don't care. See if you guys can just stay over."

Now I spoke up, "Rose? Your parents would let us all stay the night?"

She sighed and looked down, "Yeah…it's just me and my mom. If she's even
home…she'll be too hammered to give a shit."

That surprised me. On the outside, Rosalie appeared to have a completely perfect
life. The quintessential blonde haired, blue-eyed, buxom cheerleader didn't have the
fairy tale life that so many of the girls seemed to gossip about. But I was finding out
that things aren't always as they seem.

We agreed to go and Carlisle and Esme agreed to let us go cuz we told them we
would be staying at Emmett's house. I called Brady and he convinced his mom to let
him stay at Jake's house for the night. And Jake convinced his dad to let them stay
- 333 -
the night at Em's house too. So, everything was set and ready to go.

So, Billy dropped Jake and Brady off at our house and Emmett came and picked us
up. Alice and Rosalie went to get Bella since she was having a "girls night"…at least,
that's what Charlie thought. It turned out that Angela had to babysit her little
brother so she couldn't come.

When we got to Rose's house…it was even bigger than Edward's. But when we
walked in, it didn't feel nothing like our home. It felt cold here…practically unlived.
Her mom wasn't home and so she led us all down to the lower level and she was
right…it was unreal.

There was a big screen TV with a few couches and recliners laid out, a full bar, a
pool table, a dartboard, some video games, a big heated pool and a hot tub. I felt like
I was in P. Diddy's house and he was gonna run out any minute yellin, "What's up, ya
broke bitches!"

There were also 5 big bedrooms on the lower level. She showed us around and
informed us that her and Em got the biggest bedroom, Jake and Bella could have a
room, Me and Edward got one, then Alice and Brady could each have their own
rooms.

We all decided to go swimming first so we went to our rooms and changed from
our overnight bags…well, except for Alice and Emmett who had fully stocked closets
with their clothes.

As Edward and I were changing into our trunks I heard him giggling. I looked over
at him and smiled, "What'cha laughin about, babe?"

He just shook his head and looked around the room, "Look at this place, Jasper!
We've got this room to ourselves all night! This is just…crazy."

I laughed now, "Yeah…we sure as hell made friends with the right people, huh?"

He smiled over at me, "Yeah, we did. Our friends are amazing…and not because of
the house."

I couldn't agree more.

We made our way out to the pool and the water felt incredible. And the view of a
half-naked, wet Edward…was even better.

- 334 -
 We were still being guarded a little with our intimacy…it still felt a little weird.
After we swam and played around for awhile, we changed back into our clothes and
settled onto the couches to play some video games. Brady was getting along well
with everyone and I was really impressed how they all just kinda took him in.

He was really floored by it all. He came to me and Edward a few times already just
gushing about how much fun he was having and how nice everyone was…even the
infamous Ice Queen, Rosalie Hale, was extremely nice and not at all like what he
had heard. And he was impressed that Emmett McCarty, All American football jock,
was really cool and funny and nice.

Edward and I were sitting on the couch next to each other with our knees barely
touching. I wanted to put my arm around him but even if everyone already knew…I
wasn't sure if he would be comfortable with it.

But leave it to Alice to move things right along.

"Oh for the love of God! No one cares if you two want to cuddle up or kiss! Just
keep it all above the waist out here and we're good!"

Edward blushed and I smiled over at him. He leaned into my chest and I wrapped
my arm around him and sighed with contentment.

Once the video game battles got goin pretty good, Rosalie broke out the alcohol.
Apparently this was a normal thing here too cuz Alice had her fifi drinks on
hand…pina coladas and margaritas…Emmett had his Heineken…Rose went for the
Vodka.

We all decided to partake in the mixer and I went for the Vodka with Rose…turns
out that Edward loved pina coladas and so did Bella…Jake went for plain old
Budweiser and Brady, well he went for Crown and Coke.

We were all pretty tipsy when we heard the door open to the stairs. I immediately
thought we were busted when I saw, what had to be Rosalie's mom, come down the
stairs. But I noticed that she was swaying and giggling as she tried to navigate her
way down them.

She was a beautiful woman, just like Rose, with long blonde hair and striking blue
eyes…but her make up was way too heavy and she was wearing a dress that was
way too short and way too tight.

Rosalie jumped up and narrowed her eyes, "What the hell are you doing,
- 335 -
mother?!"

The woman just giggled, "Rose…quit being such a little bitch. You think you can
drink all my liquor and not let me join in the party?"

Rose was glaring daggers at the woman and I saw both Em and Alice quickly go to
her side and each laid a hand on her shoulder. Her jaw clenched as she spat out,
"You don't stock this bar! I do! Now get out!"

The woman just laughed again as she reached down and tousled Edward's hair,
"Well…well…well…you plan to keep all the cute boys to yourself?"

Rose shrieked, "Leave him the fuck alone! He's 15 for Christ sake!"

Now the woman turned angry, "So fucking what! That dirt bag of a father of yours
left me for a 20 year old! Fucking 20! If he thinks he's the only one who can
upgrade, he's sorely fucking mistaken!"

Now Rosalie was starting to cry, "I fucking hate you! Why do you have to be like
this?! You're a fucking embarrassment!"

The woman lunged but Emmett grabbed her and pulled her close to him to
restrain her as she screamed and fought against him, "Embarrassment?! You want
to talk about embarrassment?! How about having to drag your 16 year old daughter
down to the god damn clinic to get an abortion?! That was pretty fucking
embarrassing! Did you even know the father's name?! Or are you just a fucking no
good slut like your father's bimbo?!"

Rose gasped and fell to her knees as Bella and Alice quickly ushered her out of the
room and into one of the bedrooms. Emmett huffed, "That's fucking enough, Dory!
I'm taking you to bed now!"

She purred into his chest, "How about joining me, sweetie? I can show you what a
real woman's like…"

He was pissed and muttering to himself as he dragged her away and up the stairs.
He couldn't get the door open with both hands on her so he yelled, "Hey Jay! Will
you help me out, man?"

I ran up the stairs and opened the door. Then I helped him drag her to her room
as she tried every way she could think of to talk one or both of us into bed with her.

- 336 -
 By the time we made it up to her room…she was nearly passed out. We laid her
down on her bed and Em threw a blanket over her. We left the room and as he shut
the door, he put his back against it and slid down to the floor, "I have to wait for a
little while…make sure she's really passed out."

I slid down next to him but didn't say anything. After a minute, he pulled his hands
through his hair and sighed, "Every fucking weekend, man. She does this shit every
fucking weekend. That's one of the reasons me and Alice stay the weekend with
Rose. The one time I wasn't here…the bitch had the nerve to slap Rosie. I swear to
God…the day we graduate…I'm taking Rose out of here and never looking back."

I pulled my knees up and rested my chin on them, "She kinda reminds me of my

mama. She was always fucked up. And she always blamed everything wrong in her
life on me. She used to cut me down so fuckin much…the Cullen's saved my fuckin
life, man. Rose is lucky to have you guys."

He gave me a half smile and sighed, "I love Rose with everything I have, Jay. She
saves me too. My dad…he's one of those…those guys who try to live through their
kids. He keeps me on a real strict weight training schedule…even when I'm sick, I
still have to train because he can't possibly have a pussy for a son. He's had my
whole fucking life planned since the day I was born. The day we graduate…my life is
my own. Me and Rosie are taking off somewhere and getting married. And I don't
care if I ever see that bastard again."

I looked down at the ground and sighed, "Are your mom and dad still together?"

He shook his head, "No. She passed away when I was eight. Car accident. He
remarried once but it only lasted a few months."

"I'm sorry, man…"

He just smiled weakly at me, "It's okay…how about your dad? Do you see him?"

I shook my head and laughed, "Fuck no…I haven't seen that asshole for almost
three years now and I'm hoping the sorry bastard never gets the sudden urge to
show up. He's one of those sadistic military types, ya know? Every time I've ever
seen him…he just has to find some new inventive way to fuckin break me. I'm happy
with the Cullen's. I hope my past stays there in the fuckin past and never comes
back."

We talked for a little bit and then he started to stand, "I think she's out. Let's go
back downstairs."
- 337 -
 I nodded and followed him back down but once we were on the main level, I
stopped, "Hey man, I'm gonna step outside and have a smoke."

He nodded, "Yeah, man. Just go through those patio doors right there."

I walked outside and found a stone bench overlooking a garden. I pulled out a
cigarette and lit it up. I took a few drags and thought back to one of the first things I
had ever said to Edward and I was realizing that it was so much truer than I ever
realized.

"Edward, everyone is fucked up…it's just that some people are better at hiding it
than others…"

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't register anyone come outside until I heard a soft,
"Can I get one of those?"

I looked up at Rosalie who had a far off look in her eyes, "Sure. Here, Rose."

I handed her a cigarette and then she sat next to me and I lit it for her. She took a
deep drag and slowly exhaled, "Thanks."

I just nodded and shoved my lighter back in my pocket. After a minute, she sighed,
"I'm sorry you had to see that. I was really hoping that she just wouldn't come home
tonight but I should've known better."

I looked at the ground cuz I knew how much pride Rose had and I knew that this
was really hard for her to talk about. "Don't apologize, Rose. You okay?"

She laughed softly followed by a deep sigh, "Yeah. I just…ugh…never mind."

Now I looked over at her and nudged into her shoulder, "Ya know, Rose…you're
keeping a pretty big secret for me…I could return the favor…if ya want."

She smiled softly and took another drag. She was quiet for a moment before she
started speaking, "My dad left two years ago when I was 15. As you heard, he left
for a girl who was barely 20...she was an intern at his law office. When he left…my
mom started drinking. She thinks she has something to prove…that she needs to one
up him or something."

Then she looked over at me and spoke quietly as her voice quivered, "I'm not a
slut…but after he left…I just needed someone to…just…love me, ya know?"

- 338 -
 I nodded and she continued, "I met this guy…he was 22 and absolutely gorgeous.
He was everything I needed him to be at the moment…he really had me convinced
that he loved me. I lost my virginity in his fucking frat house…really romantic, huh?"

I smiled softly, "I lost mine the day after my 12th birthday. It was the daughter of
one of my mama's boyfriends. She was 15 and such a fuckin bitch to me. She had a
slumber party with two of her girlfriends and they were really drunk. She asked me
to come drink with them, so I did."

I took a drag and continued, "Anyway…she started making fun of me…about how I
was such a fuckin child and stupid and worthless…and how I couldn't handle a
woman like her. I started crying…drunk and feeling completely stupid in front of her
and her friends. So, she dared me to fuck her, there on the basement floor with her
friends as witnesses. God, I hated her so fuckin much but this little voice in my head
kept screaming my dad's words at me about how a real man never passes an
opportunity to get a piece of ass. So, I did it…it was one of the most humiliating
experiences of my life."

She put her hand on my arm, "God…that's horrible, Jasper."

I just nodded and inch by inch…we had our arms around each other until we were
hugging…the Ice Queen and the arrogant asshole…we had more in common than I
ever thought.

After a moment, she pulled away and whispered, "The baby…the baby was his.
When I told him…he called me a stupid kid and a whore…he told me that the baby
could be anyone's. When I told my mom, she said I had to get an abortion or move
out. I called my dad and asked to live with him but he said no. I asked Alice's mom
but her and my mom are good friends so she said no too. I ran away for a couple of
weeks. Emmett and I have been friends for years but I always thought that he was
just too good for me. I ended up on his doorstep and just broke down. He wanted to
take me away with him that night and raise the baby as his own but I couldn't let
him fuck up his chances at college and a football scholarship. He said he'd always
stick by me, no matter what…so I came home. I still have nightmares about what I
did. Half way through everything…I started screaming for them to stop…but it was
too late. My baby was gone…and it was because I was too selfish and weak to fight. I
swore, never again and I morphed into the Ice Queen. It's better this way,
really…when people think you're a heartless bitch…they tend not to fuck with you."

I smiled cuz I knew exactly what she meant. She wiped her eyes and smiled at me,
"C'mon…enough with this sad shit…let's go have some fun. We both have some
extremely hot men waiting for us."
- 339 -
 I laughed and we made our way back downstairs. Everyone was still drinking a
little and was sitting around listening to music and talking. Edward gave me a
beautiful crooked smile as I walked toward him.

Emmett boomed, "Hey?! Did you guys know that Brady's never had his first kiss?!"

Brady was ten shades of red and Alice smiled, "I offered but apparently he's more
into sausages than tacos."

Jake laughed, "Dude! I'm his cousin…"

Edward smiled up at me and I smiled down at him. I dropped to the couch and put
my arm around him, "We're in a relationship so we can't go down that road…"

Edward sighed and squeezed me happily. Brady was stammering, "Really you
guys…it's no big deal…I've waited this long…I can just wait until it's…"

But he was caught off guard when Emmett laughed, "Aww…fuck it…" Then he
reached over and grabbed Brady's face and crashed his lips to his. There was no
tongue and Brady's eyes were wide open.

When he pulled away, he put his fingers to his lips and whispered, "Holy
shit…Emmett McCarty just kissed me…"

We all started laughing as he grinned widely. Emmett put his arm around Rose
and smiled, "Yup…it's all down hill from here, kid."

The night wore on and I had a great time. It seemed that Edward did to. We stuck
by each other's side for a lot of it but we also spent a lot of time apart. It was really
cool seeing Edward open up to these people and be playful and fun. He held himself
back so much cuz of his trust issues so watching him teach Brady how to play Halo
and Em teaching him how to play darts and Alice showing him how to make a decent
pina colada…it was really fun for me.

It was well after midnight and we were all pretty buzzed but not sloppy drunk or
anything…well, except for Brady who had passed out on top of the pool table. Em
carried him to his room and laid him down. That was another thing that was surreal
to me…Emmett looked like the big, stereotypical jock…most people thought he was
a big dumb oaf…but Em was really sweet. I watched him carry Brady into his room
and lay him down, he pulled his shoes off and folded his glasses on the nightstand.
Then he pulled up the blanket and tousled his hair whispering, "Sweet dreams, kid."

- 340 -
 He turned and saw me leaning against the doorframe and he laughed quietly,
"What? I was the boy's first kiss…it's only right that I treat him good."

I figured that Brady must really remind him of his cousin Tommy cuz Em had kind
of a sweet spot for him.

Bella and Jake retired to their room at about 1am and Alice followed shortly after.
Me and Em were playing a game when I felt a warm soft hand slide up the back of
my shirt and satin fingertips brushing along my skin.

I looked over at Edward who was staring intently at the TV screen but had a little
mischievous smile on his face. So I leaned over to his ear and whispered, "Wanna go
to bed so I can worship you properly, darlin?"

I felt the goose bumps on his neck rise as my nose slid along it and breathed him
in. His eyes snapped to mine and they were hooded and bright green. The intensity
of the color of his eyes caused my breathing to hitch…I had never seen eyes that
shone the way his did.

He fake yawned and I smiled, "I think we're gonna go to bed, guys."

Rose smiled, "Well, you know where the shower is for the morning. If you guys
need anything, let me know."

Em laughed, "You boys behave yourselves!"

I rolled my eyes and he held his fist out, "Night, man."

I bumped it, "Night, man."

Me and Eddie walked to our room and the second the door was closed, he pushed
me against it and attacked my lips. I welcomed an attack from Edward any day so
my lips gave into his command easily.

One of his hands were tangled in my hair while his other was on my hip,
underneath my shirt…the soft skin of his hands always felt so good against my
rough, scarred skin. My fingers hooked into his belt loops and pulled his hips into
mine.

He groaned softly as his lips and teeth went to my neck. I felt him start to harden
against me and I trailed my hand down over the growing bulge in his jeans and
began rubbing him with firm, hard strokes.
- 341 -
 He bucked his hips into mine furiously before reaching behind me and locking the
door. He pulled away and grabbed me by the waist of my jeans, tugging me along to
the bed, smiling that sexy crooked smile.

As we walked to the bed, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and I lifted my arms so
he could pull it off. Edward was all kinds of worked up…I could tell by that wicked
little gleam in his eyes and that ghost of a smirk on his plump, red lips. Apparently,
drunk happy Edward was a horny boy…this made me…very happy...and horny.

His lips quickly came to mine again as he sucked my tongue into his mouth
eagerly with a loud moan. He tasted like coconut and rum…yummy.

My hands were around his waist and up the back of his shirt where I kneaded his
strong back and shoulders. I ghosted my fingertips down his spine and he shivered
right as I grabbed the bottom and ripped it up over his head.

And then…he dropped to his knees and quickly started unbuckling my belt. I
looked down at him as he gazed up at me with a sexy smirk on his face. Once
everything was unbuckled…he surprised me again.

His eyes never left mine as he took the leather belt between his teeth and started
pulling it off. I bit my lip to stifle a loud moan and he smiled as he dropped the belt
to the ground. I was throbbing against my jeans and he began trailing his nose along
my jeans clad cock before nipping and licking through the denim.

My hands went to his shoulders to try and keep myself steady and upright. He
unbuttoned my jeans and his teeth slowly dragged the zipper down. He yanked my
jeans down and continued the wet licks and soft nips along my now boxer brief clad
dick.

Things started becoming blurry as my head fell back and my eyes closed…tipsy
and feeling so much pleasure that I could barely stand…and he hadn't even touched
my skin yet.

I could feel the pre-cum soaking through my boxer briefs only adding to the
wetness his mouth was leaving.

His hands were squeezing the backs of my thighs as they trailed up and slid
underneath the legs of my underwear. I was chanting his name his name softly,
unable to verbalize anything but the source of my pleasure.

I felt his tongue slide along the V of my abdomen…dipping into and swirling
- 342 -
around my belly button before working its way underneath the waistband. His
fingers clenched the fabric that clung to my ass and began dragging it down while
his teeth pulled out the waist band and finally released my aching cock.

I felt my underwear slip down my legs and I steadied myself again as helped me
lift my feet and kick them off.

His hands were back to my ass…kneading the skin as his tongue trailed up my
thighs and underneath my sack. He gently sucked my balls into his mouth and
hummed contently and I whispered, "Oh fuck…"

He licked and sucked them for a few minutes before he released them and ran his
tongue up the underside of my cock. His lips wrapped around the leaky head of my
cock and I couldn't stifle the moan that escaped my lips this time.

I finally snapped my eyes open and tried to stay as coherent as possible. I looked
down and was met with gorgeous green eyes staring back as he worked his way up
and down my dick slowly.

My chest was heaving and my legs were wobbly…he took my dick in his hand and
released it from his mouth. He smiled shyly up at me, "Um…hey Jay?"

I smiled back and brushed my fingers through his crazy bronze hair, "Yeah,
babe?"

I watched a faint blush come to his cheeks and it was everything I could do to
keep myself from cumming at the sight.

"Um…how do you…um…deep throat? We're about the same size but you're able to
take me all the way down your throat. Is there a trick?"

I smiled and rubbed my fingers gently along his throat and whispered, "Relax your
throat…breathe through your nose…and work your way down slowly."

He had a look of determination in his pretty green eyes as he took the head of my
cock back into his warm, wet mouth. I felt his tongue inside his mouth, sliding and
swirling along my cock as he slowly worked his way down.

And I watched very closely cuz, god damn, he was fuckin sexy as hell with my cock
in his mouth.

He took his time and worked his way down. And I worked my best to just not cum
- 343 -
yet.

My body was reeling from him now…and eventually, he took me all the way down
his throat and I felt the breath from his nose buried in my curls.

He pulled away and smiled up at me, lookin all damn cute as hell as he grinned
proudly, "I did it!"

I laughed softly and continued running my fingers through his soft hair, "Ya did
real good, darlin…now, ya wanna do it again?"

He laughed and stood up, "Yeah…but I want you to lay down. I know your legs are
tired."

He was right, they were aching. He walked around me and pulled back the
blankets of the bed. He started to undo his jeans but I slapped his hands away and
said, "Uh uh…I wanna unwrap my gift."

He laughed and I chuckled as I undid his jeans and dragged them and his boxer
briefs down his legs and helped him out of them.

He slid underneath the blankets and I followed after him. Our bodies quickly
became entangled as we kissed passionately and just enjoyed the feeling of
this…being completely naked…completely free with each other…in a big, comfy bed
under soft thick blankets.

He pulled away from my mouth, panting out, "I need to go back down on you…"

I just pulled him closer and whispered, "But I don't wanna let you go…just touch
me, baby…I need to kiss you…"

And I did. It was physically impossible for me to release him from my arms in that
moment. So that's what we did. We rolled around kissing and just grinding against
each other. One minute I'd be on top…the next minute he'd be on top.

Eventually I felt my body tighten as he was on top this time. His legs were
between mine and mine were spread open to him. I moaned loudly into the kiss as I
erupted against both of our stomachs and his hard cock.

His hips rolled against mine a few more times before I felt his body go rigid above
me and then his warm, wet cum squirting out onto my stomach.

- 344 -
 He collapsed on top of me, panting as his lips broke free from mine and fell
against my shoulder. We were both sticky and slick with sweat. We held onto each
other tight and a few minutes later…I heard him snoring softly in my ear.

He had completely passed out on top of me. I gently rolled him to the side and
kept one arm around him as I reached down to grab his t-shirt on the floor. I wiped
us clean and threw the t-shirt back to the ground.

Even in his sleep, his arms quickly wrapped around me and pulled me back to him.
I pulled the blanket up to our chins and then held him tight as I whispered, "Love
you, Edward. Sweet dreams." He sighed and a whisper of a smile played on his lips.
I drifted into a very peaceful sleep.

- 345 -
 Chapter 19

Things in my personal life are on an upswing so thank you guys so much

for all the love and support you've given me. And thanks for loving my boys
as much as I do!

Songs: Black Keys - Till I Get My Way, Fiona Apple - Shadowboxer, The
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel

Edward's POV

Finally! Wow…I can't believe I finally did it!

I felt Jay's curly little blonde hairs tickling my nose and his length all the way
down my throat. He was trembling and rocking slowly back and forth on the balls of
his feet. I knew his legs weren't going to last much longer.

I slowly released him from the depths of my throat. I grinned up at my

sexy-as-fuck boyfriend, "I did it!"

He laughed softly and continued running his fingers through my hair, "Ya did real
good, darlin…now, ya wanna do it again?"

Hell yeah I want to do it again…and again…and again…

I stood up and told him that I did but he should lay down. I knew his legs were
aching and I really wanted to enjoy this time together. We wouldn't get
opportunities like this often so I wanted to make the most of it.

He slapped my hands away as I started to undo my jeans and he smirked at me

with bloodshot hooded eyes and slurred out, "Uh uh…I wanna unwrap my gift."

God, that fucking accent is so thick when he's drunk…it went straight to my
cock…well, everything he did pretty much went straight to my cock. Why does he
want to wait? I want to fuck now!

I crawled into bed and he followed. I took in the sight of his perfect hard body, all
muscular and sexy and just needing to be licked and worshipped like the fucking
Adonis he is…

- 346 -
 How the hell did I get so damn lucky? Look at him…he makes my mouth fucking
water…

His legs wrapped around mine and I reveled in his muscular thighs and rock hard
cock pressed against my stomach. His lips came home quickly and I could taste his
sweet honey nectar on my tongue…mixed with something a little stronger.

My skin was tingling from the sensation of his body on mine. This is the way it
should always be…me and Jasper…naked…in bed…that's it…nothing else…just me
and Jasper naked in bed…

God I'm so damn horny! I need his cock in my mouth now! I need to feel his thick
rod down my throat…pushing past my tonsils and the soft blonde curls tickling my
nose…I need to hear him crying out my name…I need to feel him cumming deep
down my throat as I bring him to the edge of fucking oblivion!

I break from the kiss and manage to breath out, "I need to go back down on you…"

But his grip tightens and he pulls me closer whispering, "But I don't wanna let you
go…just touch me, baby…I need to kiss you…"

And his needs outweigh my own because I understand Jasper…sometimes, he

really just needs to feel loved…needs the connection of intimacy other than
something rough and dirty…he really loves me and I'll give him whatever he
needs…I can be rough and dirty in my thoughts…

Our bodies tangle and roll around the bed until half the blankets and pillows have
fallen on the floor. Our lips only break apart enough to drag in a ragged breath
before we connect again. He's on top of me now, legs between mine and mine are
spread open to him. And my drunken mind begins to wander…

The tip of his big thick cock pushing slowly inside me…wet with pre-cum and
throbbing in anticipation…my body stretching as he fills me…a little bit of pain but a
whole lot of pleasure as his short golden curls mix with my short bronze ones…in
and out…slowly…no, wait…hard…yeah, hard and fast…his ass slapping my thighs as
he fucking pounds into me…grunting and sweating and growling as he fucks me
senseless…yeah…that's it…fuck me, Jay…harder…faster…so fucking close…

And I can't take it anymore as I roll him onto his back and roll my hips against his
furiously as new images take over my mind…

My cock…pushing into him…tight and wet and hot…I'm in control as he entrusts

- 347 -
his body to me for good keeping…oh, and I plan on keeping you well, my love…his
body is tight around my throbbing cock and I groan as his hard cock twitches and
drips with his sticky nectar as I fill him completely and connect our bodies in every
way…our souls are already connected like this…but I want his fucking body too…I
want to fuck him…want to hear him screaming my name and watch his eyes roll
back as the headboard beats against the wall from my efforts…I want to watch his
beautiful cock erupt as mine fills his tight ass and own him completely…mine…all
fucking mine…

He moans deeply into the kiss as I feel him cum hard against our stomachs and it
only takes a couple more strokes for me to let go too.

My lips finally break away from his and I pant against his shoulder…

I love you so much, Jasper…promise you'll never ever leave me…promise you'll
always want to kiss me…forever…man…he smells good…wonder what he's
wearing…hey, he's got a little mole on his shoulder…another one there too…he's so
damn cute…I should lick him…

The next morning I awake to a loud knock on the door and Emmett's booming
voice, "Put the cock down and come out with your hands up!"

Jasper slowly opens his eyes and we both start giggling. Jasper yells back, "How
bout we come out there with our hands down and our cocks up!"

Then I hear Alice, "Enough with the cock talk boys! How would you like it if I went
into the vag-tastical world of the clitoris! Damn…I haven't even had my coffee yet!
No wonder I think I might like girls…"

Now everybody's laughing as we get out of bed and dressed. I grab my bag so I
can take a shower. And when I walk out, I survey the scene…Emmett and Brady
playing a video game…Alice is braiding Bella's hair…Rosalie and Jake are talking
about some sort of sports car…and I smile because somehow…this feels really
comfortable to me.

I had never been truly comfortable with anyone but Jay and now…I actually had
some friends. At first, I thought Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, and Jake were just being
nice to me because of Jasper but last night…they each hung out with me on their
own. And they were all really nice to me and seemed interested in getting to know
me and the weird thing was…I kind of liked it.

- 348 -
 The morning passed quickly and Emmett dropped us off at home. My dad took
Jasper over to Peter's house because they had planned to go fishing. I spent the
afternoon playing my piano and just reminiscing about how much fun I had last
night. It was unexpected and really nice.

The next few weeks passed by pretty quickly. We had all fallen into a routine now.
After the games on Friday night, we went out for pizza, Saturday night we stayed at
Rose's house, and Sunday Jasper and I would usually do our own thing for a few
hours. Everything was going really well.

I had still been having nightmares but sometimes I could change my reaction a
little and Dr. Greene said that was a great thing.

It was the Wednesday before our winter break began and Jasper and I were going
to have to walk home today because Emmett had been called home for some sort of
family emergency.

We were about half way home and I cringed when I heard, "Hey Edward? Miss
me?"

Jasper turned before I did and we saw James pulling his car to the side of the
road. Jasper stopped dead in his tracks and I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him
along, "Don't worry about him, Jay…"

My stomach dropped as Jasper jerked away from me, seemingly oblivious to my

pleas.

"I got your little message, fucker…I'm right here, man. Get outta the fuckin car,"
Jasper had dropped his backpack and stood there glaring at James.

James smirked while he sat in the car, "I don't fight little boys…"

Jasper smirked right back, "No…you just fuck little boys, right?"

What the hell?

I watched as James actually had a panic stricken look in his eye and leaned back
away when Jasper strolled over to his window and bent down. He folded his arms on
the door and smiled as he whispered, "I know you. I know all about you. Trust me
when I say that getting an ass whoopin from me…is the least of your fuckin worries
right now. You can run and you can hide…but I am gonna fuck you up. So, quit being
a pussy and get outta the god damn car."
- 349 -
 James spat back, "Fuck you! Get away from my fucking car! I'm not going to jail
for fighting you."

Jasper stood up and cocked his head to the side, "Ya scared of jail, James? I
thought this shit wasn't over? Where's the bad ass mother fucker who put his hands
on my fuckin boyfriend and threatened me? I thought you was gonna show Edward
what it's like to be with a real man, mother fucker, so grow a pair of fuckin balls and
show me something."

James just rolled his eyes and smirked, "You think you're bad, little boy? You have
no idea what you're getting yourself into."

Jasper put his hands on the door and leaned down again and whispered, "You
don't know what real is, boy. I'm not one of your little naïve boys. You think you're
crazy? You think you're tough? Prove it and get outta the fuckin car."

I couldn't take anymore, my heart was racing and I had to get Jasper out of here
before things got worse. I walked over to him and pulled him away, "C'mon, Jay.
He's not worth it. He's a pathetic loser who screws around with teenage boys
because he has nothing to offer. He's not going to fight you so let's just go home."

Jasper just laughed as he grabbed his backpack and flung it over his shoulder. He
threw his arm around my shoulders and looked over at James with that deviant
smirk on his face, "Run along home, Billy bad ass. Put on your leather jacket and
play with that cool little ponytail…and when you convince yourself again of just how
tough you are…come find me so I can punk your bitch ass again."

James was glaring daggers at us as we walked away. He sat there for a minute
before finally speeding off. I let out a breath and looked over at Jasper, "Jesus,
Jay…you don't know what that guy's capable of. Why do you have to insist on
fighting everyone?"

I was really scared for Jasper. This guy may not want to fight him but there's a lot
of other really bad things he could do…things that could end up with Jasper in jail or
worse.

In his usual, fuck the world, attitude, Jasper just laughed, "That guy ain't gonna do
shit, Edward. He's a fuckin pussy. My mama dated a million guys just like that.
They're real bad asses till someone stands up to them and then they back the fuck
down cuz they're all fuckin talk. Fuck James."

That damn attitude of his was going to get him hurt, "But Jay…"
- 350 -
 Now he turned and stopped, "Edward, I got this under control, man. I know you
think I'm gonna run and do something foolish and get myself hurt. That ain't gonna
happen, darlin. Trust me."

I groaned, "Fine. Then teach me how to fight so I can back you up."

We started walking again and he smiled, "Yeah? You really wanna learn?"

I nodded, "Yeah, Jay…with you as my boyfriend, I better learn how because I am

not going to sit around and watch you do this stuff without being able to help you."

He laughed, "Edward, I don't need no help…"

I rolled my eyes and smirked at him, "I know you don't need my help, Jay…but I
need to be able to defend myself so you don't always feel the need to step in."

He just smiled over at me, "Edward, I'll always stand up for you…that's just how
I'm made. But I think it's a good idea to teach you how to fight. We'll start tonight."

I just nodded and soon we were home. We went upstairs and laid on my floor to do
our homework. We had chatted a little about Emmett and hoped everything was
okay. We wanted to call and check on him but figured we better wait for him to call
us.

After dinner, we both changed into a pair of sweatpants and t-shirts. I followed Jay
into the garage so he could begin his lesson. I was nervous…I didn't want to look
like a total fool in front of him but I knew he wouldn't tease me even if I was really
bad at this.

The first thing he taught me was how to throw a decent punch. It was a little
difficult because he's a natural southpaw but luckily he can hit with both hands…it's
just that his left was his power arm instead of the right, like most people. He
explained that this was a good thing because most people don't expect a violent left
hook. So, once I could throw a decent punch with my right hand, he had me practice
with my left.

We practiced for a couple of hours and finally we were both sweating and drained.
As we were sitting side by side on the weight bench, I handed him a bottle of water
and he smiled, "Now, Eddie, just cuz I'm teachin you this shit…it doesn't mean that
you go around talkin shit to people. You're not me, man. Don't get yourself in
trouble."

- 351 -
 I smirked, "I don't think you have to worry about me running around picking
fights, Jasper."

He laughed, "I know, Edward. Okay, so now that you got a basic punch down, let
me fill you in on strategy."

I nodded and took a drink and he continued, "First thing, if you think some shits
gonna pop off, take in your surroundings immediately. Street fights aren't fair…I've
seen people get knocked the fuck out with pool sticks, thrown threw fuckin
windows, all kinds of crazy shit. That's why I'm so observant. That's the first thing I
do when I think something's gonna happen…I survey my surroundings so I know
what I have to fight with, if necessary. Next, don't talk shit. If you know that you're
gonna fight…don't say a fuckin word, just start swingin. I don't believe in that 'never
throw the first punch' bullshit."

I nodded, "But, what about those guys at the pool hall or even James? You didn't
just hit them…"

He smiled, "I sized up the guys at the pool hall and the stick was well within
reach. I didn't throw a punch cuz that wasn't a fight that I needed to have and I had
you with me. If it happened, I was ready but I knew it probably wouldn't happen.
With James, I'm biding my time, Edward. I couldn't get a decent hit while he was in
the car…now, if he showed up on that damn bike…I wouldn't have said a fuckin
word. I woulda just hit him."

"Aren't you ever afraid?"

He laughed, "No, man. What's the worst they can do to me? So, I may get my ass
beat…big fuckin deal…I used to get my ass whooped all the time when I was a kid.
I'm sure I'll get my ass beat again. Shit happens. Bruises, ribs, broken bones…they
all heal…but that feeling of being scared or feeling like a punk for letting someone
talk shit to you without fighting back…that shit never goes away."

He was right. I knew that feeling all too well but I was surprised that Jasper had
ever backed down from anything.

"You felt like that before, Jay? You were afraid to fight?"

He nodded, "Yeah, Edward. I used to get my ass kicked on a daily basis. When I
was eight, I got jumped on the fuckin school bus and ended up in the hospital. My
mama made me go stay the summer with my dad after that. He was so fuckin
embarrassed to have a pussy for a son so he paid my two older cousins to beat the
- 352 -
shit outta me every damn day till I fought back. Then he'd kick my ass every night.
Finally, I just lost it one day. I hid a baseball bat under the porch steps and when
Jeremiah and Brandon came at me, I grabbed that bat. I broke Jeremiah's leg and
Brandon ran off to his mama. My dad was so proud of me that he took me out for ice
cream that night. The next day, he started teaching me how to fight. How's that for
father-son bonding time?"

I just shook my head, "God, your parents were assholes."

He laughed, "Yeah, but at least they taught me how to survive by any means
necessary."

The rest of the week flew by in school and we found out that Emmett's emergency
at home was due to one of his younger cousins. He never said what happened but
apparently his cousin, Tommy, was going to be staying with him at the beginning of
the new year. He seemed really happy about it so I figured they must be close.

Winter break had arrived and it was our first Christmas with Jay as an official part
of the family. My mom decided to forgo visiting the relatives this year and just have
a nice, cozy Christmas at home. I was really thankful.

Christmas Eve had finally arrived and dad had been called in to the hospital.
Christmas was always a really busy time at the hospital. Me and Jasper helped my
mom finish a few last minute things for dinner tomorrow and she helped herself to
more than a few glasses of wine.

We settled down and began watching A Christmas Story…it was my all time
favorite Christmas movie and I couldn't believe that Jasper had never seen it. He
thought Ralphie was adorable because of his thick, black glasses. By the end, he was
yawning and sleepy so he gave me a quick good night kiss and went to bed.

Mom stumbled to bed shortly after and I was left alone. So, I decided to give Jay
his present early…

I ran up to my room and quickly showered. Once I was done, I slipped on a pair of
red pajama pants, a white t-shirt, and my Santa hat. I grabbed one of the presents I
had gotten for Jasper and stuck it in my pocket before strolling to his room.

I pushed open the door and gazed upon my sleeping love. He was lying on his
side, all curled up and beautiful. His honey curls had fallen over his eyes and his
pretty pink lips were slightly parted as he slept peacefully. It was almost a shame to
wake him up…almost.
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 I tip-toed to the end of the bed and carefully crawled up behind him. I lifted the
blanket and slowly slid in until I was pressed against his shirtless back. He was only
wearing a pair of boxers so this should be pretty easy but I had to get him to turn
over first.

So, very softly, I began running my fingertips down his side. He shivered but
didn't wake or roll over. I figured I better just go for the gusto to get what I wanted.
I brushed my fingertips around to his hard, strong stomach and down to the little
happy trail that dipped underneath his boxers.

He stirred a little but didn't roll over. So, I brushed my fingers gently along the
cotton fabric of his boxers before rubbing his softened cock through the fabric. He
sighed and after a minute, he began to harden.

Merry Christmas to me…

Once I had awakened his beautiful cock, he moaned softly and rolled over onto his
back. He was still snoring softly mixed with soft moans and sighs as I stroked him a
little more.

Then I carefully crawled over top of him and gripped the sides of his boxers. I
gently began tugging them down and instinctively, his hips lifted a little to let me
pull them off. Now, he stirred a little more so I sat still for a moment until I heard
his breathing even out again.

I had to put my hand over my mouth to stifle a giggle when he mumbled in his
sleep, "Mmm…sex hair…peach cobbler…nice squishy ass..."

Once I got my giggles under control, I took a deep breath and leaned down. I
licked the sticky wetness from the slit of his tip…mmm, honey…

Then I kissed the swollen head gently before enveloping it in my mouth and slowly
sliding down, hallowing my cheeks and breathing through my nose until those
golden hairs tickled my nose.

My eyes were closed but I heard his breathing pick up dramatically, followed by a
gasp and a very deep raspy southern drawl, "Ooohhh God…Edward…darlin, that
feels so fuckin good…don't stop, baby…"

Against his wishes, I raised up and opened my eyes. His eyes were still closed but
the moment I released his cock, they opened as he breathed out, "Why'd you st…"

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 I smiled that crooked grin that I know he likes and he laughed softly, "Well, hey
there Santa."

I smiled back, "Hey Jay. Have you been naughty or nice?"

He laughed again before gripping my hips as I straddled him, "Hmm…well, Santa,

I think I've been more nice than naughty this year…but right now, I'm feelin real
fuckin naughty."

He rolled his hips underneath me as his hard cock actually slipped underneath my
t-shirt and brushed my stomach. I moaned softly and gazed upon my beautiful boy
with a wicked gleam in my eye.

I reached into my pajama pants pocket and pulled out a pair of dark rimmed
glasses. I bit my lip as I put them on, suddenly feeling shy and wondering if he was
going to think this was stupid. Once they were on, I whispered, "Um…Merry
Christmas, Jay."

I watched as his mouth hung open for a moment and his cock throbbed against my
stomach. He finally breathed out a heavy, "Where are your parents?"

I whispered, "Um…dad's still at the hospital…mom's passed out from the wine."

His eyes darkened into a stormy indigo and he licked his lips, looking very
predatory as he gruffly said, "Go lock the fuckin door."

My own cock reacted to the roughness of his voice and I whimpered softly as I bit
my lip again to stifle it. I slowly crawled off of his lap and walked across the room to
lock the door.

When I turned back around, he was sitting on the edge of his bed slowly pumping
his impressive cock with a wicked grin on his lovely face. He growled out, "Stop.
Strip. Slowly."

Again, my cock responded to his tone as it throbbed. I reached up and tossed the
hat to the ground. Then I slowly lifted my shirt over my head, messing up the glasses
that I had to readjust. My eyes kept drifting between his and the floor, as I felt a
little timid by the glasses and the command to strip. But every time my eyes met his,
the anxious look of lust in them was enough to keep my going.

I hooked my fingers in the sides of my pants and with a gulp, I started pulling
them down. Once they hit the floor, I stepped out of them leaving me completely
- 355 -
exposed. He responded with a groan.

"C'mere, Edward."

I walked over to him and he smiled, "Get on your knees."

I slowly dropped to my knees. My heart was racing with excitement. I loved

dominant Jasper.

As I sat on my knees and looked up at him through the glasses with wide eyes, he
used one hand to slowly pump his cock while his other hand brushed along my
cheek. He whispered in a deep southern drawl, "Ya wanna suck my dick, baby?"

I bit my lip and groaned. My eyes quickly became hooded with desire and I
nodded profusely which caused my glasses to slide down to the tip of my nose. He
smiled as he pushed them back up, "Okay, I'll let you suck my dick on one condition,
darlin…"

I licked my lips in anticipation and whispered, "Anything."

He brushed his thumb softly across my bottom lip and whispered, "I wanna cum
on your glasses."

I wanted to giggle because it was a funny request but I was caught like a fly in a
web under his intense gaze. I would do anything he asked of me…and I liked that he
was kinky. Who would've ever that a man like Jasper would be into geeks?

I nodded again and he smiled as he brought the tip of his cock to my lips. It was
sticky sweet, dripping with honey as I lavished it with the strength of my desire
through my lips and tongue and teeth.

He leaned back on the bed with one hand while his other hand gripped my hair. As
I started slowly bobbing up and down over his delicious cock, I closed my eyes.

I felt a sharp tug on my hair pulling my face up to look at him. My eyes opened
and he whispered, "Don't close your eyes, sugar. Look at me."

I couldn't help the crooked grin that spread across my face now as I licked out my
tongue and ran it along his shaft. His eyes were midnight blue and hooded as they
bore into mine under long onyx lashes. He was simply the most beautiful creature in
all of existence.

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 His hand guided my head up and down his cock, slow then fast…hard then
soft…all these conflicting energies had my body caught up in a euphoric cataclysmic
meltdown. I swear, I was getting close to cumming because even though he was not
physically touching my body…his eyes and moans and grunts and whimpers were
stroking me silly.

After a few minutes, he moaned, "I'm gonna cum, Edward…"

His fingers tightened in my hair as he pulled his cock out of my mouth. He started
pumping himself furiously and I wrapped my hand around him too to help.

He groaned something completely unintelligible as he came all over my face and

coated my glasses in his sticky, white nectar.

I think he fell back against the bed but I couldn't see anything. He was breathing
heavily and whispering, "God damn…best fuckin boyfriend ever…Jesus…"

Then I heard him giggle, "Oh, sorry, man. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He
took my hand in his and led me to the bathroom. I heard the bathroom sink come on
and then he slipped the glasses off my face.

He smiled and grabbed a washcloth. Very gently, he washed my face and the tips
of my hair with the washcloth. Once my face was clean, he rinsed my glasses and
dried them off before slipping them back on my face.

He grinned as he threw the washcloth in the hamper, "Thank you, darlin…that

was the best Christmas present I ever got."

Now I smiled, "Really?"

He nodded and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling our naked bodies
close. He kissed me softly and kept smiling into the kiss, which made me laugh, "You
really have a thing for geeks, huh?"

He pulled away, grinning, and he shrugged, "We all have our things, Edward."

He grabbed my hand and led me back to his bed, "Where'd you get the glasses at,
man?"

He handed me my pajama pants and then he slipped some on too.

I giggled softly, "Well, um, I went to the eye doctor and ordered them. They
- 357 -
thought it was strange because I have perfect eyesight so the lenses have no
prescription. I couldn't really tell them that my boyfriend has a geek fetish."

He laughed and pulled me onto his bed, "That was really cool, Eddie…I got to act
out a fantasy of mine."

We sat down Indian style, happy and relaxed. He reached over and pulled out a
gift from his nightstand, "Here, babe…Merry Christmas."

He handed me the package and I smiled, "Thanks, Jay."

I ripped into the wrapping paper like an eager kid on Christmas morning. My
breathing hitched as I ran my fingertips across the dark brown leather. It was a
photo album with a picture of me and Jasper on the cover at 13 years old. His arm
was around my neck and he was grinning down at me while I looked up at him with
a big smile on my face. I brushed my fingers across the leather inscription that said,
'Eddie and Jay.'

My heart was racing from the overwhelming love I felt at that moment. I heard
him whisper, "Do you like it, Edward?"

I lifted my eyes to his and couldn't keep the silly grin off my face, "I love it. It's
perfect. Thank you, Jay."

He smiled and scooted over beside me, pulling the blanket over our legs, "You're
welcome, Eddie. Now, open it…there's a lot more pictures in there."

I opened the album and smiled as we began to go through it. There were hundreds
of pictures, sometimes arranged with two or three on a page. He had written little
comments next to them, describing what we were doing or where we were. It was a
scrapbook of all our memories up until this point. There were the ticket stubs to the
movie we saw when we first held hands…along with a Skittles and M&M wrapper.
There were notes we had passed to each other in school. There were petals from the
red rose he gave me on our first date and he handwrote the lyrics to the song he
played me when he told me he thought he was in love with me.

The last photos were taken last week at Rosalie's house. We had gotten a lot more
comfortable showing our affection openly in front of them. We were snuggled up on
the couch watching a movie and we started kissing. Apparently, Alice had taken
pictures of the whole thing because there were four pictures, two to a page of us
kissing. The first, he was tugging on my lip with his teeth. The second, we were
smiling as our lips parted and met. The third, our eyes were closed and heads tilted
- 358 -
as we shared a deep, romantic kiss. The last kissing picture, our hands were tangled
in each other's hair and our lips were barely grazing as we looked at each other
through hooded eyes.

The very last picture, we were asleep on the couch. We were spooning with me in
front as he held onto me. His cheek rested against mine as his honey curls fell
across his closed eyes and mingled into my bronze locks. There were several blank
pages at the end to add more pictures.

We sat in silence for quite awhile, just staring at the picture. Jasper and I were
perfect together…made for one another…we just…fit.

Eventually, he whispered, "50 years from now, Edward…we'll look back at these
and we'll see everything that we've gone through or will go through to get to that
point…but no matter what ever happens…I have no doubt that this book will be
filled with pictures of us together…forever."

My heart was bursting with love. I looked over at him and he smiled. I leaned over
and brushed my lips against his, like I've done so many times before…and like I
planned on doing for the rest of my life. And just like every time before, the
electricity and warmth from his lips, coursed throughout my body and heart filling
me completely. I was certain that it would always be this way.

After a soft, sweet kiss, I pulled away with a smile, "I love you, Jay."

He smiled back, "I love you too, Eddie."

I closed the book and jumped off the bed, "Be right back."

I ran down to my room and grabbed my camera. When I came back, I grabbed my
Santa hat off the floor and crawled into bed next to him. I laughed, "I've got the
glasses…you wear the hat."

He giggled as I placed it on his head. We brushed our cheeks together with

matching grins as I held the camera out in front of us and took our picture.

I set the camera on his nightstand and he reached up and slid my glasses off,
placing them next to the camera. I took the hat and threw it on the floor as he
leaned me back against his pillow and kissed me.

We kissed forever until I heard the garage door open. I pulled away with an ache
in my chest, "My dad's home…I better go to my bed."
- 359 -
 He sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I guess you better."

I smiled and brushed my fingers across his cheek, "Good night, Love."

He smiled back and kissed me once more as he whispered, "Night, darlin. Sweet
dreams."

Reluctantly, I pulled myself from his arms and grabbed my hat, camera, glasses,
and book before heading to my room. I put the camera and glasses in my nightstand
drawer and hid the book in my closet because I certainly didn't want my mom or dad
to find it and wonder where the kissing pictures had been taken.

I crawled into bed and sighed happily as I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, we woke up to the wonderful smell of Christmas dinner

cooking. We went downstairs and saw my mom in the kitchen working hard. Dad
was still sleeping so we let him rest while we helped mom.

Later that afternoon, he woke up and we gathered around the tree to open
presents. My parents had gotten us all kinds of clothes, video games, CD's, and
movies. Jasper was stunned silent when he opened an electric guitar. I helped my
parents pick it out for him. I figured he should have a new one after the story he told
me of how he had gotten his acoustic guitar.

Apparently it belonged to one of his mother's old boyfriend's so while they were
sneaking out of the house one night to leave…his mother stole everything that would
fit in the car and encouraged Jasper to do the same. The only thing he grabbed was
the guitar and case. He said he didn't feel bad about it because the bastard was an
old pervert who used to creep by his door and watch him sleep at night. So, I wanted
him to have a guitar all his own, with no bad memories attached. Besides, what
could be sexier than Jasper playing an electric guitar?

Absolutely nothing.

The last gift we both opened were matching picture frames with a picture of me,
Jasper, mom, and dad at his first football game. The frames were etched with the
word 'Family' across the bottom. I watched Jasper's face carefully as he studied the
picture. I had a feeling that everything was getting to him a little bit. I mean, this
was the first real Christmas he had since he was six years old.

I remember my first Christmas as a Cullen…as a Masen, my Christmas's were

much different. With my birth parents, there was no tree, no special dinner, and no
- 360 -
mention of Santa Claus. My mother would sometimes buy me a gift or two but not
every year…my father hated Christmas because he thought it was disrespectful to
God. He believed that it was just a holiday meant to spoil a child with undeserved
gifts and he believed whole heartedly in Proverbs. I remember the passages he
quoted quite often;

Proverbs 13:24, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him
chasteneth him betimes."

Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare
for his crying."

Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child: but the rod of
correction shall drive it from him."

Proverbs 23:13, "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him
with the rod, he shall not die."

He always used to say, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." And he never spared
the rod.

My first Christmas after they were gone, was in the hospital. They had a guy dress
as Santa come and surprise the kids…I was terrified of him and cowered under my
bed for hours until some of the nurses dragged me out and sedated me.

Now as I watched Jasper…I wondered what kind of memories haunted his mind
and I hoped that they weren't filled with fear as mine were, but chances are, they
were filled with solitude and emptiness.

I pushed the horrid thoughts and memories from my mind, determined to make
this Christmas perfect for him. We ate dinner and watched National Lampoon's
Christmas Vacation…which Jasper also had not seen.

As the night wore down, Jasper excused himself to go to bed. My parents fell
asleep shortly thereafter cuddled up on the couch so I went to go check on Jay.

I knocked softly and pushed the door open. He was sitting on his windowsill
smoking a cigarette. He started to throw it out but I smiled, "It's just me, Jay."

He smiled half heartedly and sniffled. As I walked closer, I saw that his eyes were
red and puffy. He wiped them with the back of his hands quickly and cleared his
throat, "Hey babe. What'cha doin?"
- 361 -
 I went and sat across from him on the other end of the windowsill, "Nothing…just
wanted to see how you were doing."

He smiled again but it wasn't the wide dimpled grin I was used to seeing, "I'm
fine, Edward. Everything was really perfect today, huh?"

I nodded, "Yeah…but I know that it can also make it really hard. It took me awhile
to get used to it. Sometimes I find myself reflecting a lot on my parents or my time
in the hospital. I wonder to myself why they did the things they did…and I try to
remember good things but they are few and far between, ya know?"

He nodded and looked back out the window, "Yeah, man…I know."

I reached out and took his hand in mine and when I did, I noticed he had a picture
crumpled up in his hand. I looked down and through the moonlight shining in from
the window, I could see that it was of his mother.

I whispered, "You miss her?"

He sniffled again and took another drag of his cigarette, "I shouldn't…but…"

I watched as his eyes began to tear up again. He looked at me and whispered,

"Why would I miss someone who didn't give a fuck about me? Your parents,
Edward…your mama loved you and was gonna try and leave…your dad, he was one
sick twisted fucker but in his mind he was protecting you. My mama…she didn't love
me. She wanted me to hurt. Why would she be like that? What did I ever do to
deserve that? She just didn't want me. So, why the fuck do I think about her
sometimes? Why do I wish that I could talk to her? Why do I even want her to love
me?"

I reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into me. He rested his head on my
shoulder as he cried softly and I whispered as I ran my fingers through his golden
curls, "I don't know, Jay. I guess it's because our parents are supposed to love and
protect us. When they fail…it leaves us irreparably damaged in some ways. But we
can heal over time with love and support. Jasper, I believe that your mother does
love you…I just think that the drugs and alcohol have such a strong hold on her that
she doesn't feel anything good anymore. She sometimes shared her drugs with
you…as messed up as that is, in her mind, she was sharing something she loved with
you and maybe that was the only way she could show her affection. But flesh and
bone don't make a family, Jay…heart and soul do. And me and my mom and dad…we
love you with all of our hearts and to the depths of our souls. You are our family
now."
- 362 -
 I held him tight as he cried softly. Eventually, he pulled away and blushed as he
wiped his eyes again as the tears subsided, "Shit, I'm really sorry, Eddie…"

I smiled softly at him, "As many times as I have broken down on you…it means the
world to me that I'm able to be here for you, Jasper…please don't ever apologize for
that. You are very strong, Love…but even you are human. Besides, it's kind of nice
being the one comforting you for a change."

He smiled and this time I saw his dimples, "Thanks, Edward. You're a lot stronger
than ya give yourself credit for, ya know."

I grinned and flexed my bicep, "Well, I have been working out…"

He started laughing, "You sure have, darlin and you're lookin mighty fine."

I smiled and walked to the bathroom to get him a damp cloth. I brought it back for
him and he washed his face off. He tossed it in the hamper and I suddenly got an
idea, "Hey Jay?"

"Yeah, darlin?"

"You tired?"

He shook his head, "No, not really. Why?"

I looked outside as the snow fell softly to the ground, "Want to go play some ball?"

Now he laughed, "Seriously, Edward?"

I nodded, "Oh yes, my love…I am dead serious."

He grinned, "You're gonna get it, Cullen."

Now I grinned, "I certainly hope so, Whitlock."

We hopped up and threw on some sweats and coats and hats and gloves. We went
downstairs and mom and dad were just waking up and heading to bed. My dad gave
us a questioning look and I smiled, "We're going to go play basketball, dad. Is that
okay?"

He looked at the clock and it was only 10:30pm so he shrugged, "Sure, boys…just
come in at a decent hour, okay?"
- 363 -
 We nodded and mom smiled, "Did you boys have a nice Christmas?"

I nodded and Jasper smiled at her, "It was perfect…thanks, Mama C."

He called her mama…

Her breathing hitched and she was quiet for a moment…before launching herself
into Jasper's arms and squeezing him as she laughed, "My sweet, sweet boy…I love
you so much."

When she finally let him go, my dad quirked an eyebrow at him and Jasper
laughed, "Okay, Carlisle…how bout Big Daddy C?"

Dad laughed and shrugged, "Why the hell not? That's what most people call me
anyway."

I wondered where my dad got his sense of humor from…but wherever he got it, I
was eternally grateful.

They went to bed and we went out to the driveway. It was snowing and bitter cold
but we didn't mind. The ground wasn't icy yet so we played fairly well. He was
kicking my butt as usual so as he went up for a jumpshot…I grabbed his sweats and
yanked them down.

He laughed as bent down and pulled them up…making sure to wiggle his cute ass
to me as he did it, "You just wanted to see my tushy, huh, babe?"

I laughed, "Tushy, Jay?"

He shrugged, "I can say tushy, Edward…I'm a southern boy."

I smiled and grabbed the ball. I dribbled as he tried to block me, "So, speaking of
tushy's…what was the dream about my sex hair, nice squishy ass, and peach cobbler
all about?"

I watched his cheeks turn even redder than they were from the cold, "Shit…I was
talkin in my sleep again, huh?"

I nodded, "Yep…"

He shrugged, "I'm a man, Eddie…I dream about food and sex, babe."

- 364 -
 I laughed, "I dream about honey and sex…does that count?"

He smiled as he stole the ball from me and made a lay up, "Only if you're dreamin
about me and honey."

He stood there dribbling as I walked up to him and grabbed the ball…I threw it in
the snow bank and rubbed him through his sweatpants, "When I have good dreams,
Jay…they are only of you."

He groaned and wrapped his arms around my waist before sliding his hands down
the back of my sweatpants and squeezing my butt…but his hands were freezing and
I jumped. This caused us to both slip on the now icy ground and fall on our asses.

We were both laughing as we sat there and I smiled, "Good thing I had a nice
squishy ass to protect my fall…"

Now he smiled that wicked little smile as he rubbed his own ass, "Yeah…well, I
think I broke my tushy…I could really use a house call from Dr. Love right about
now…"

I smiled back and leaned over to his ear. I nibbled on it softly before whispering,
"Dr. Love has the cure for what ails you…"

He moaned softly and whispered, "Grab the stethescope and meet me in my bed in
ten minutes?"

I kissed his neck gently, "Make it five."

This was the best Christmas I had ever had…and I was certain that it was only
going to get better…

A little late…but hope ya'll had a very Merry Christmas and have a safe
New Year!!!

- 365 -
 Chapter 20

I've got a great story to recommend…it's called Project Seduce Mr.

Whitlock by rmhale. It's fanfuckingtastic so check it out…

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Thanks for all the reviews, guys!

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here, Coldplay - Green Eyes and Adina
Howard - Buttnaked…remember that most of the songs I use are in my
youtube. The link is on my profile.

To my hubby, thanks for inspiring a lot of what I write...except without the

slashy stuff ;)

Jasper's POV

Since Carlisle was still awake when we came in the house, my little session with
Dr. Love got put on hold. So, I laid in bed and reflected on my first Christmas with
the Cullen's. Of course, it was absolutely perfect…Esme had cooked an incredible
turkey dinner with all the fixins and we ate and laughed. We watched silly Christmas
movies and opened gifts. So, I couldn't understand why my mama was on my
mind…it's not like we had any good Christmas's together.

But, as fucked up as my mama was…there were a couple of times that I remember

having fun with her. Sometimes when she was stoned as hell, she would be playful.
My mama was a huge Elvis fan and I remember once when I was 7, she put on a
cassette of him and we danced around the living room…until she needed a drink
anyway. I just wish I knew why she thought I messed her life up. I mean, she messed
up mine too so weren't we even?

Enough thoughts of mama's fucked up ways…let's think about Edward…

I've said it before and I'll say it again…that boy always surprises me.
Geekward…holy shit that was hot. I can't believe he did that for me…he's
just…fuckin amazing sometimes…

And Carlisle and Esme…I never knew people could actually be so damn good.
They haven't had perfect lives…I guess we all got our demons, but look at em now. I
wanted Edward and I to always be in love just like they were. If I ever wanted to see
a picture perfect example of how to love…they were it.

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 Now, if I can just get James outta my fuckin life…things would be perfect. I was
gonna have to strike soon and figure out exactly what I needed to do to get rid of
that fucker permanently…especially since Tommy was gonna be here in a few days.

I may not know the kid at all, but he was important to Emmett and Emmett was
one of my best friends. If I'm anything, I'm fuckin loyal. So, Tommy was important to
me by default. I was gonna try real hard to help the boy out when he got here…I
hated to see anyone suffer…well, that's not entirely true but I hated when kids
suffered cuz of some fucked up adult who should've known better.

I knew the name of the club that James worked at in Seattle…After Sunset. I had
cased his house out a few times and knew that he lived alone but with the people
running in and out all hours of the night…I figured he was still dealing. Besides, the
boy had too much money and too many nice things to get them from a job at a club.

But, looking at his bank statement, he also had a joint account with James Sr. and
Eileen Hunter. It was rather sizable but showed very little activity so I figured this
was a joint account with his mama and papa and they must be pretty loaded.

The power of the internet is a beautiful thing and I was able to get his parents
address and phone number. They lived outside of Seattle in a very wealthy
neighborhood. Apparently, James was just a spoiled little rich boy pretending to be
the big bad wolf. Little did he know, that I was gonna huff and puff and blow his
whole fuckin world apart.

So, I figured I better start flushing out the rest of my plan and pretty damn soon
cuz even though I had been teachin Edward to fight, and he was pretty damn
good…I didn't wanna have to think about him defending himself against that sick
fucker.

I finally fell asleep later on that night.

The next week flew by and school came round again. Edward and I were waiting
outside for Emmett to pick us up. Finally, his car pulled up and we hopped in the
backseat right next to another boy.

Emmett smiled and turned back towards us, "Hey guys, this is my cousin Tommy.
He's in the same grade as you so maybe you can show him around a little?"

I studied Tommy as he stared out the window, listening to his Ipod and seemingly
oblivious to the world. He was a real cute guy but obviously troubled. He was very
thin and pale, with black curls that hung down to his chin. From the reflection in the
- 367 -
window, I could see that he had piercing blue eyes, just like Emmett. He was
dressed in a pair of baggy jeans, and a baggy t-shirt with a flannel over top.

Edward looked over at me with concern in his eyes and I just sighed and grabbed
his hand and squeezed it a little. "Yeah, Em…we'll show him around."

Tommy didn't acknowledge anyone's existence. When we got to school, Emmett

took him in to get him his schedule and Rosalie, Edward, and I were waiting outside
the office. Rosalie smiled weakly and whispered, "Tommy's been through a lot, you
guys…if you could maybe take him under your wing a bit…I just…it would mean a
lot to Emmett."

We both nodded and soon they walked out of the office. We shared a few classes
with him. He was in my first period English, third period History, and he shared
seventh period gym with Edward and I. He was in Edward's fourth period literature
class.

I walked with him to English and he never once looked up from the ground. I
rattled on about stupid shit and he never once spoke to me…in fact, I had yet to hear
him say one fuckin word.

James really fucked this kid up…the mother fucker's gonna pay for this shit…

In class, he stared out the window. I thought about introducing him to a couple
people but I don't think he was ready for that yet.

When class was over, I told him I'd walk him to his next class. We walked together
in silence as I stewed over how to help him. He entered the class without saying a
word and I trudged off to my next class.

Class ticked on forever and when the bell finally rang, I nearly ran to my locker.
Edward was pulling out some books to his next class and he smiled over at me, "Hey
Jay…how are things going with Tommy?"

I sighed and yanked open my locker, "Fuck, man…he hasn't said a fuckin
word…he won't look up from the god damn floor…I don't know what to do."

Edward put his hand on my shoulder and smiled softly, "I think he has some pretty
deep issues, Jay…I mean, he looks sick. Maybe he just needs some time. No offense,
but your personality can be a little overwhelming to someone who's really shy and
quiet…maybe I'll have better luck with him."

- 368 -
 I laughed, "Are you sayin that I'm loud?"

He giggled a little and shook his head, "No, you're not loud…just…"

I smirked, "I get it, Edward. I hope you have better luck than me. He's in my next
class so we'll see how that goes."

He shut his locker and sighed, "Well, I'll swing by after class and walk with him to
lit class. See you later, Jay."

"Later, Eddie."

I walked into my next class and saw him sitting in the back. I sat down at the desk
next to him and noticed that he was drawing.

During class, I glanced over at the picture he had been working on and couldn't
help the smile that spread across my face. He was really good at drawing and the
picture of him shackled to a desk, was pretty spot on.

I was pretty good at drawing so I grabbed a piece of paper and drew a hacksaw.
When the teacher was turned to the chalkboard, I crumpled it up and threw it on
Tommy's desk.

I watched as he uncrumpled the paper and when he saw the hacksaw…he smiled.

He never looked at me or said a word…but I did get him to smile, so I was feelin
pretty good about that.

When class ended, Edward was waiting. We talked for just a second before they
took off for their next class and I went to mine.

My mind just wasn't into school today so I became anxious for class to end so we
could go to lunch.

When the bell rang, me, Bella, and Jake walked to lunch together and sat down
with Em, Rose, and Alice. I looked around for Edward and Tommy and was growing
impatient when they still hadn't arrived.

Then I heard the chanting of 'Fight' in the hallway and saw a bunch of kids start
running out. I didn't think much of it until I heard someone say, "Holy shit! That's
Edward Cullen!"

- 369 -
 We all jumped up and bolted out to the hallway just in time to see Mike Newton
take a swing at Edward. Every instinct I had was telling me to jump in but before I
even got the chance, Edward ducked to the left and swung back on him with a
vicious left hook.

I heard someone yell, "Damn…"

And I saw Mike stumble back into the lockers as Edward came at him and landed
a right hook to his jaw. Mike fell down to the ground and Edward was on him…Eddie
was kicking the shit outta Newton.

Fuck…now is not the time to get wood, Jasper! But…damn…Eddie's fuckin sexy
when he's kickin ass…

I pushed my way through the crowd until I was at the front so I could drag
Edward off of him but just as I reached him, so did Principal Taylor. He grabbed
Edward and yanked him off of Newton but not before Edward fuckin stomped his
dick. Everyone was going crazy now and several teachers arrived.

Edward ripped his self away from the Principal and yelled, "Get the fuck off of
me!"

My eyes went wide and he finally turned and saw me. He was flushed and
breathing heavy. And then, the little fucker smirked at me while a couple of teachers
pulled him down the hallway.

I blinked a few times and tried to get my bearings. The teachers broke up the
crowd in the hallway and sent us back to the lunchroom. That's when I noticed
Tommy staring at Edward with shock in his eyes.

When we sat down, I had to ask, "Tommy, were you with Edward?"

He nodded as he looked down at the table.

Emmett put his hand on his shoulder and spoke quietly, "What happened, cuz?"

Tommy took a deep breath and didn't raise his eyes as he spoke in a whisper, "He
was standing up for me…the ugly fat guy called me a freak and Edward…he just lost
it. It's my fault he's in trouble."

I ducked my head down so I could look into his sad blue eyes, "Tommy, that wasn't
your fault. Newton had it coming…let's just say you're not the first guy he's called
- 370 -
names. Edward's had issues with that asshole before…hell, I fought the fucker a
couple years ago. Newton's always getting his ass kicked."

He snickered a little and Emmett started talking to him.

I was worried about Edward. What would Carlisle do? Would he get suspended?
Fuck.

I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick text.

Hey babe…you ok? - J

I got a text back a minute later…

I'm ok…sitting in the principal's office waiting on dad. Tell Tommy it wasn't his
fault…I hate Newton. - E

I smiled and showed the text to Tommy and he smiled a little.

How'd it feel? - J

Exhilarating! - E

I laughed and quickly sent…

Well, hell, Ali…that was sexy as fuck! Hope u don't get in too much trouble. Want
me to kick someone's ass so I can come home with ya? - J

LOL! Not necessary but still sort of sweet. I think my dad may blow a gasket if we
were both sent home for fighting. Have a good day and play up how cool I was to
everybody! Love you, babe! - E

Will do, darlin…u are the coolest! Love ya too, Rocky! - J

The rest of the day was buzzing about how Edward kicked Newton's ass. It was
really funny to me that everyone thought he was a bad ass now. The bad thing was,
this definitely kicked Edward's status up a notch with the girls who were fawning all
over how tough he was.

I had gym with Tommy and he asked me if I thought Edward would be in big
trouble with his parents. I shook my head and laughed, "Knowing Carlisle like I
do…he'll probably give Edward a good scolding but when he finds out exactly what
- 371 -
happened…he won't be too mad."

He seemed satisfied with that but still a little worried that he was the cause.

The day was finally over and before long, I was running up the steps to Edward's
room. I knocked softly before pushing the door open. My beautiful bronze haired boy
was lying on his stomach across his bed reading.

He looked up at me and smiled, "Hey Jay! I missed you!"

I laughed as he pulled himself up from the bed and practically ran to me. I opened
my arms as he flew in them and squeezed me tightly. I squeezed him back, "Missed
you too, babe."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the bed, "So, did everyone think it was
cool?"

I smiled at my silly, sweet boy, "Yeah, Edward…you were the talk of the school all
day, darlin."

He beamed at me, "Cool!"

I sighed, "So, how much trouble are you in?"

He sighed now and ran a hand through those bronze locks, "Well, I'm suspended
for three days. Dad was mad at first but when I told him it was Newton, he
remembered how much he used to bully me so he took me out for a milkshake. But
then he told me I was grounded for a week because he didn't want me to think it
was okay to stomp guys in their crotches."

I laughed at that because that sounded like Carlisle.

Edward smiled, "The funny thing was, the school called dad and told him that his
son was in a fight and he had to come pick him up. So, when he got there and saw
me waiting for him, he asked the Principal three times if he was sure it wasn't Jasper
he was supposed to be getting."

I shook my head and laughed again, "Yeah, I guess he figured it'd be me fightin
instead of you."

The next three days sucked without Edward at school but I had managed to get
Tommy to talk a little more. I skipped pizza after the game on Friday night since
- 372 -
Edward was grounded but he insisted that I go to Rose's on Saturday. I really didn't
wanna go without him but I finally gave in.

So, on Saturday night, me, Em, Rose, Alice, and Tommy were sitting around
drinking…well, Tommy wasn't drinking but the rest of us were. Brady, Jake, and
Bella couldn't make it either.

After I knocked off a small bottle of vodka, I grabbed my guitar and began
strumming. I groaned, "Fuck…I miss Edward."

Alice laughed, "It's one night, Jazzy…you'll see him in the morning."

I threw myself back on the couch and whined, "But I wanna see him now…I miss
his lips…and his eyes…and his body…"

Now Tommy looked over at me, "Wait a minute…are you and Edward…I mean, are
you, like, together?"

I was kinda surprised he hadn't picked that up already so I nodded, "Yeah…I miss
my fuckin boyfriend."

He broke into a grin…the first one I had seen from him, "So…you're gay?"

I laughed, "Yep…you seem so shocked."

He smiled, "I guess I am. You don't seem gay."

I smirked, "Why? Is there a rule book or something I should be following?"

He shook his head and chuckled, "No…I just…and everyone's okay with it?"

I sat up and put my guitar to the side, "Well, we haven't come out at school yet but
everyone here knows along with a few other of our close friends. They're all okay
with it. Are you okay with it?"

He blushed slightly and wrapped his arms around his knees, "Yeah. I'm…um…that
way too."

I smiled, "Really? I woulda never guessed."

He sighed, "Really? I thought it was pretty obvious that I'm a freak."

- 373 -
 Now Emmett intervened, "You're not a freak, cuz. Jasper, Edward, and our friend
Brady are all gay…we don't think they're freaks."

Alice smiled, "Yeah and I think I might be bi. None of us really give a shit about
those stupid things. They don't change who you are. We all have our issues."

Rose laughed as she handed me a newly opened bottle, "That's the fucking truth!
We're all fucked up, Tommy…we're just trying our best to make it through this
teenage hell!"

We all talked a little longer and Tommy was finally starting to open up a little. I
grabbed my phone and threw it to Alice, "Here, Ali…record me…I'm gonna send
Eddie a video."

She giggled as she pushed the record button and I started playing the hook from
"Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. I sang it softly and hoped Edward would like
it…

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl,

Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have we found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

She threw the phone back to me and I sent the video to Edward. A minute later
my phone rang, "Hey darlin."

"Hey babe. I wish I was there too. Thanks for the video."

I laughed, "You're welcome, Eddie. What'cha doin?"

He sighed, "Reading…I was trying to sleep but haven't had much luck. Remind me
- 374 -
to kick Newton's ass again for making me miss out on my alone time with you
tonight."

"Now, sugar, I don't think that's such a good idea. Besides, we'll just have to make
up for it next weekend."

He laughed, "You're pretty wasted, huh, Jay? You're accent is deep because of the
slur."

"Well, I reckon I am pretty fucked up, darlin. So, what are you wearing?"

He giggled a little and said, "Um…your blue sweats and sweatshirt…they smell
like you. Is that weird?"

I sighed with a big happy grin, "No baby…that's not weird at all. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Jay. So, um…will you do me a favor?"

"I'd do anything you asked me to, Edward."

He giggled again, "Um…will you play a song for me? It might help me sleep."

"Sure thing, darlin. Hang on…"

I grabbed my guitar and handed my phone to Tommy, "Hey man, will you hold this
so I can play Edward a song?"

He took the phone with a smile, "Sure…that's really kinda sweet."

I laughed, "Yeah…I'm good at this romantic shit."

I put the guitar in my lap and spoke into my phone, "K, Eddie…this is for you
babe…"

I started singing "Green Eyes" by Coldplay…

Honey you are a rock

Upon which I stand

And I came here to talk

- 375 -
I hope you understand

The green eyes,

yeah the spotlight,

shines upon you

And how could,

anybody,

deny you

I came here with a load

And it feels so much lighter now I met you

And honey you should know

That I could never go on without you

Green eyes

Honey you are the sea

Upon which I float

And I came here to talk

I think you should know

The green eyes,

you're the one that I wanted to find

And anyone who tried to deny you,

must be out of their mind

Because I came here with a load

- 376 -
 And it feels so much lighter since I met you

Honey you should know

That I could never go on without you

Green eyes, green eyes

Honey you are a rock

Upon which I stand

Tommy handed me my phone and I laughed, "So, my pretty green eyed boy…didja
like it?"

He sighed, "It was beautiful. Thanks, Jay. I wish I was there…"

I smiled and held the phone out so everyone could hear, "Hey guys…Eddie wishes
he was here."

They all started laughing and hollering, "We miss you, Edward!"

"Jasper's a pain in the ass without you here!"

"Yeah…he just keeps whining 'Oh I miss Edward sooo much…I miss his lips and
his eyes and his body…"

I smirked and put the phone back to my ear and heard Edward giggling.

"They're pickin on me, darlin."

He laughed, "Aww, babe…you tell them I said to stop picking on you or I'll have to
kick some ass."

I smiled, "Edward said to stop pickin on me or he's gonna kick your asses."

Emmett laughed, "As long as he doesn't stomp me in the balls…I'm good."

I spoke back into the phone, "You'd really fight for me, huh babe?"

- 377 -
 He laughed softly, "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Jay. I love you. You have
some fun tonight…but not too much fun."

I sighed, "I love you too, Edward. Get some sleep, baby. I'll see ya in the mornin."

"Good night, Love."

Fuck…I loved it when he called me Love…

"Sweet dreams, darlin."

I hung up the phone with a goofy grin on my face and Alice laughed, "God, you
two or so sickly sweet…I wish I had a boyfriend…or a girlfriend…or a dog that would
love me unconditionally."

Tommy smiled, "Wow…you guys really love each other, huh?"

I couldn't keep that damn goofy grin off my face, "Yeah…Edward's fuckin
everything to me."

My phone rang still in my hand and I flipped it open without looking, "Hey
baby…miss me already?"

I heard sniffling on the other end, "Jasper? It's Brady."

"Brady? What's wrong, man?"

He sniffled again, "Are you with Emmett?"

"Yeah…what's going on?"

In a whisper he spoke, "My mom and dad…just…can someone come and get me? I
don't want to be here anymore."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "Shit, man…we've all been drinkin…"

Emmett looked over, "What's going on?"

I pulled the phone away, "Something's going on with Brady…he wants us to come
and get him…"

Tommy interrupted, "I haven't been drinking. I don't have a license but I have a
- 378 -
learner's permit."

Emmett sighed, "You cool to drive?"

He nodded so I spoke back to Brady, "Where ya at, man?"

He sniffled, "I'm at home. Just park down the street…I'll come out."

I jumped up and grabbed my coat, "Alright, Brady…we're on our way."

"K…thanks."

"Yeah, man. We'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone and we all piled in Em's car. Me and Tommy in the front, so I
could give him directions and Alice, Rose, and Em in the back.

About fifteen minutes later, we pulled alongside the road and waited. I saw him
walking down the dimly lit street in my side view mirror. I hopped out and when I
saw him…I couldn't help the soft, "Fuck…" that left my lips.

He was looking down at the ground but I could see the side of his face was
bruised badly. Before I could say anything he whispered, "Please Jasper…let's just
get out of here."

I nodded and he slid in next to Tommy and then I got back in. Emmett put his
hand on Brady's shoulder, "Hey man…this is my cousin Tommy. Tommy, this is
Brady."

They both just gave each other a small nod and we drove the rest of the way back
to Rose's in silence.

Once we got back, we all made our way downstairs and sat down. Brady still
wouldn't look up and finally Emmett sighed and pulled his chin up. We all gasped
when we saw his face.

His eye was black and the right side of his face was bruised. His lip was busted
too and he wasn't wearing his glasses.

Emmett spoke softly, "What happened, Brady?"

Brady started crying again and Rose went and grabbed a box of tissues.
- 379 -
 He finally started speaking quietly, "I met a guy yesterday…and um…I got his
number but I didn't have my phone so he wrote it down on a piece of paper. My
mom found it in my jeans when she was doing the laundry. My dad went ballistic.
They told me I wasn't welcome in their home anymore…that I was dead to them.
They kicked me out and when I tried to pack up some of my stuff…they told me that
nothing belonged to me. I walked around for awhile and after they fell asleep, I
snuck back in and got my phone and called you. They hate me. I have no one
anymore."

He was now crying hard as Alice and Rose tucked him in-between them and let
him sob. I sighed, "I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette…be back in a minute."

As I started to walk up the stairs, Tommy came up behind me, "Hey man, can
I…um…bum one?"

I nodded, "Yeah man."

We walked outside to the cement bench in the garden and lit up our squares. My
mind was reeling for Brady. I felt so damn bad for that kid. We had to figure some
way to help him out.

After a minute, Tommy sighed, "That poor kid…why do parent's have to be such
assholes?"

I shook my head, "Fuck, man…wish I knew. Brady's such a good guy…he doesn't
deserve this shit."

He looked out over the garden and sighed, "My parents sent me away too. I was in
a bad relationship and I didn't handle things very well. They said they couldn't deal
with me anymore so Em begged his dad to let me stay and finish out school here."

I took a deep breath, "Em's a really good guy. We're all glad you're here."

He looked over at me and smiled half heartedly, "Really? I mean, I'm not intruding
on your little group thing?"

I laughed softly, "No, man…sometimes, all we have is each other so it's kinda nice
to add someone else in the mix."

He smiled now, "So…Brady seems really sweet."

I smiled back, "He is. He's pretty cute too."

- 380 -
 I watched as Tommy blushed a bit, "Yeah…he's not my usual type…but my usual
type gets me into trouble so maybe that's a good thing. Too bad he met somebody
already."

I smiled, "It's just a number, man…Brady's still fair game."

He chuckled a bit then sighed, "Nah…I should probably stay far away…everything
I touch turns to shit. I don't think I'm ready for anything right now anyway."

I threw out my cigarette and stood up, "Well, he could always use another friend,
Tommy. Then if it becomes more…great…but if not, at least you have a good friend."

He smiled and threw his cigarette out, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

We made our way back downstairs and saw Brady downing a glass of crown and
coke. Alice had his glasses and it looked like she was fixing them for him. I plopped
down next to her on the couch, "You think you can save them?"

She smiled over at me, "Yeah, the lens is just popped out. I can fix it."

Brady was now giggling a little as the alcohol began to take effect, "Where's
Edward?"

I smiled, "Grounded…he got into a fight at school."

He started laughing hysterically, "Edward was fighting?! So, Jay…are you going
into withdrawals yet?"

I smirked, "Funny. And yeah, I kinda am."

He sighed, "I wish someone loved me the way you love him."

That reminded me, "So, man…what's with this guy you met?"

He smiled as he began sipping another glass, "Um…he's really good looking and
nice…I was walking home from school and he drove by and then came back and
stopped. He recognized me from the Halloween party."

I frowned, "What's his name?"

He giggled and blushed, "Um…James…he said he thought I was cute but you were
talking to me so he thought I was off limits…"
- 381 -
 I jumped up now, "Oh hell no, Brady! You're not going near that fucker…"

Then Tommy was next to Brady, "What's he look like?"

Brady looked confused, "Um…long blonde hair…brown eyes…"

Tommy just shook his head as his eyes began to tear. The next thing I knew, he
was running to the bathroom and puking his head off in the toilet.

Emmett went to go help him out and I sat down next to Brady, "Listen, man…that
guy is really bad news. I think he might just be goin after you to get back at me…"

He shook his head, "What? No…he really likes me…why is it so hard to believe
that someone would actually like me? Am I that repulsive?"

I sighed, "No, Brady…that's not what I meant…it's just that we've had some beef
and he's threatened to come after me and he's been fuckin with Edward. He left
fuckin bruises on him, man."

Now he took a deep breath and closed his eyes while he whispered, "He hurt
Edward?"

I nodded, "Yeah he did. Em and Rose were there if ya don't believe me."

He looked up at me through glassy eyes, "I believe you. Why…why would…shit,

am I an easy target?"

I shook my head, "No, man…you're just the type of guy he likes…young, cute,
shy…he's a bad guy, Brady. Please promise to stay away from him."

Just then Tommy and Emmett walked out of the bathroom. Em was seething as he
sat down by Brady, "You will not go near that son of a bitch, Brady! I will fucking kill
him first, do you understand?!"

Brady was starting to cry again as he nodded. Emmett's face softened and he
pulled him into a hug as he whispered, "Shit, man…I'm sorry for yelling…I just…I
feel like I gotta protect you, Brady…you're my little dude."

Brady chuckled a little through his soft sobs. He eventually pulled away and wiped
his eyes as he blushed, "Sorry."

Em smiled and rustled his hair, "Don't be."

- 382 -
 He smiled now as he looked up at Em, "So, I'm your little dude?"

Emmett laughed, "Fuck yeah you are. You're my friend, Brady…and I'm not gonna
let anyone hurt you."

Tommy was still standing there with a flushed tear stained face. His voice was
quiet when he spoke, "Um…Brady? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Brady looked over at him surprised, "Sure."

Tommy looked around for a minute and sighed, "Um…can we maybe go into one of
the rooms to talk?"

Brady hopped off of the chair, "Okay, Tommy."

I was kinda surprised when Tommy held out his hand for Brady. He was looking at
the ground as he did it.

Brady looked at his hand and blushed before taking it. Tommy grabbed the bottle
of Crown from the counter, "We…um…may need this."

They walked into one of the bedrooms and shut the door.

I let out a breath of air I had been holding, "Shit, Em…is Tommy okay?"

He sighed as he downed a shot of Jack…then another one, "Fuck man, I don't

know. Tonight's the first time I've seen him actually talk to anybody all fucking
week. He used to be so different. He was always laughing…he looked up to me. He
used to follow me around and I just blew him off cuz I always had better shit to do. I
didn't protect him…I'll be damned if I'm gonna fail Brady."

I poured me out a shot of Jack and downed it. I cleared my throat, "So, I think I
know of a way to get rid of that fuckin James."

Everyone's eyes shot up to me and I cleared my throat, "Well, I've been kinda
casing his house…I think he still deals. I found his parents and did a little research
on them. They're real high society folks…his dad is a member of some real
conservative organizations. I don't think his parents know he's gay or know anything
about his extracurricular activities."

Alice smiled, "And how do you know that, Jazzy?"

- 383 -
 I smiled my wicked little smile, "I called them."

Rose started laughing, "You did what?"

I laughed, "Yeah, I called and asked his mom if she knew how I could get hold of
him…I told her that I was his boyfriend and that I found a picture of him with my
best friend…who was 14 years old. She said he was engaged to a girl named Victoria
but I saw her at his house all cuddled up with a guy named Laurent so I think that's
just a front they use."

Emmett smiled, "So, what are you thinking about doing?"

I poured another shot and played with the glass a minute, "Well…I'm thinking that
maybe since Brady's involved now that we could set James up. Maybe have him
come meet Brady with a bunch of different drugs on him…individually baggied cuz
we could have Brady tell him that he wants to buy something but he don't really
know nothing about drugs and what sizes they come in. Brady's innocent enough to
pull that off. Then when he comes, I kick his ass…the cops come and find the drugs
on him."

Alice frowned, "Wait…won't you get in trouble for fighting too?"

I shrugged, "Probably but it won't be nothing big. But I was thinkin we could have
him come to pick Brady up close by the school that way when he's hit…he'll be hit
not only with possession but possession with intent to sell cuz of the individual
baggies. Plus if we can get it to happen within 500 yards of the school, that's more
time. Depending on what he brings, you're looking at least 20 years with those
charges. Also, that will give them probable cause to search his house and see what
else they can find."

Em shook his head, "He's got pictures and movies at his house…I'm sure he's got
some of Tommy. What if it gets out?"

I sighed and downed my shot, "Well, Tommy probably knows his house better than
any of us do…maybe he knows a way to get in and where that shit might be. If I
could find out when James is gonna be working, I could break in and get the
stuff…but he works at a club in Seattle and you have to be 18 to get in so I can't
hustle the schedule off anybody…"

Alice snickered, "I have a fake ID. I could do it."

I raised an eyebrow, "You sure bout that, darlin?"

- 384 -
 She smiled, "Yeah, besides, he doesn't know me so he wouldn't think anything of
me being in the club. I'm crafty, Jazz…I'm sure I could find out his schedule."

"When do ya wanna go?"

She thought for a moment, "How about next Saturday? You and me can go and
just meet everyone back here when we're done."

I nodded and Em spoke, "When you go to his house, Jay…I'm coming with you."

I shook my head, "No, man…the less people the better."

He frowned, "Fuck that…I'm going. I'll keep a lookout or something but I'm
fucking going."

I sighed, "Alright, Em."

I yawned and stretched…tonight had been fuckin exhausting. "I'm goin to bed,
ya'll. See ya in the mornin."

I went to the room that Edward and I usually shared and laid down across the
blankets. I was drunk and lonely. I grabbed my phone and had to fight with myself
not to call him…he was probably asleep anyway.

After awhile, I passed out.

I woke up to my phone ringing and quickly answered it, "Babe?"

I heard him sniffle and I looked over at the clock. It was a little after 3am.
"Edward…it's okay, baby. Didja have a nightmare?"

He sniffled again, "Yeah…sorry to call you so late…"

I cleared my throat as it was thick with sleep, "S'okay, darlin. You can always call
me. Ya wanna talk about it?"

"Um…no…I just…I really needed to hear your voice…make sure you're okay."

I smiled, "Yeah, baby, I'm okay…I was missin you like crazy."

He chuckled a little, "Really?"

- 385 -
 "Yeah, Edward…I'd give anything to have you lyin next to me right now."

He laughed softly with a little sniffle, "I'd give anything to be with you right now
too. I miss you so much."

I couldn't help the smile that was permanently plastered to my face, "I love you,
baby."

"I love you too, Jay. So, what were you dreaming about?"

I laughed now and then became very aware of my mornin wood. I reached down
and started rubbing myself through my jeans, "Hmm…I was dreamin of makin love
to you, Edward."

I heard his breathing hitch and he whispered, "Tell me."

"Well, we were alone at the house for the weekend. We were in your room and you
told me you wanted me…"

He sighed and in his beautiful sexy voice he whispered, "I want you, Jasper."

I moaned softly, "I want you too, Edward. So, then I started undressin you…slowly
pulling your shirt over your head…tuggin down your jeans and boxers until you were
completely naked and fuck, baby…you're so fuckin beautiful…"

He moaned softly, "I love your fucking accent, Jay…God, you're so fucking sexy,
baby…"

I whispered, "Take your clothes off, darlin…touch yourself for me…"

He whispered back, "You too, Jay…lose the clothes."

We both took a minute to get undressed and I crawled back in under the blankets
this time. I put the phone back to my ear, "You ready, Edward?"

He giggled, "I'm always ready when it comes to you, Jay."

I started slowly working my hand up and down my hard shaft as I spoke in a

breathless whisper, "I laid you down and crawled on top of you…I kissed you hard
and deep as my hands ran all over your body, baby…"

He groaned softly and I closed my eyes at the sound, "More, Jay…"

- 386 -
 I swirled my hand around the wetness at the tip of my cock and continued working
myself over, "I began trailing my tongue down your neck…and around your nipples
as I nipped at them…I went further down your tight abs until I was in-between your
legs…

He moaned, "Suck my dick, Jasper…please baby…"

"God damn, Edward…I licked the tip of your big hard cock before taking you all
the way down my throat…I sucked your dick hard and fast…just how I know you like
it…"

He groaned, "Keep going, baby…"

I took a deep breath to try and keep myself calm long enough to finish this, "You
cum deep down my throat, darlin…and then I continue running my tongue down
along your shaft…I nip and lick your balls…then I trail down and lick your tight little
hole to get you good and wet so I can fuck you properly…"

"Oh God Jay…fuck me, baby…I need to feel your big hard cock moving inside of
me…"

My dick is throbbing and I know I'm getting close.

I lick my lips and whisper, "Once I know you're ready for me…I position my big
dick at your tight little ass and slowly start pushing the head in…you're so fuckin
tight and hot around my cock, baby…"

"You feel so good, Jay…more baby…give me more…"

I'm seeing stars now behind my closed eyes and I can barely get out, "I push my
dick all the way inside you, Edward…we're finally connected all the way, baby…I'm
hovering above you, lookin into those pretty green eyes of yours as I fuck your tight
ass…slow and soft at first until you're beggin me for more…"

He moans loudly, "More, Jay…more…"

I'm pumping my aching cock with a fuckin vengeance now as I moan, "I'm
gripping your hips and pounding into you, baby…your ass is slapping against my
thighs and you're screamin out my fuckin name…oh fuck…I'm gonna cum,
Edward…"

I hear him moan out, "Jasper…oh god, Jay…I'm…gonna…cum, baby…"

- 387 -
 I cum hard all over my stomach and I'm lying there panting. I can hear him
panting on the other end.

After I get my breathing under control, I whisper, "I love you, Edward."

And I now notice that the panting has turned into soft snoring. I giggle, "Edward?"

He mumbles something I can't understand and continues snoring. I laugh as I

reach down and grab my shirt to wipe myself off.

He always falls asleep after he cums…

I can't wipe the grin off my face as I snuggle up to the phone and fall asleep to his
familiar sounds…

I hope I get to hear this sound every night for the rest of my life…

- 388 -
 Chapter 21

Thanks so much for all of the reviews! They mean a lot to me!

Closer by Kings of Leon

Edward's POV

My eyes fluttered open and when I raised up out of bed, there was something
sticking to my cheek. I reached up and peeled the phone away and heard Jasper on
the other end mumbling about fried chicken and cornbread…

It's always food and sex with him…I can't believe I fell asleep on the phone…good
thing it's free for us to call each other because dad would kill us…

I stretched and yawned. I whispered, "Jay? Wake up, Love…"

He mumbled, "gotta keep the ants off the potato salad…"

I giggled, "Jasper? Baby, wake up…"

His breathing hitched and he groaned, "Hmm? Is that you, Edward?"

His voice was rough and thick with sleep as his accent came out heavy.

I giggled again, "Good morning, Love."

He groaned again, "Where ya at, babe? Don't see ya anywhere…didja cover the
potato salad?" and then he was snoring softly again.

I laughed and spoke a little louder, "Yes, babe…I covered the potato salad."

He mumbled, "Good…thanks babe…god damn ants…"

Now I was laughing hysterically, "Jasper! Wake up!"

He snorted and coughed then I think he dropped the phone because I heard a
thud, some shuffling and a few curse words in the distance. I finally heard,
"Edward? You there, babe?"

- 389 -
 I was still laughing, "Yeah, Jay…I'm here."

He yawned and mumbled, "Shit…what did I say now?"

I calmed myself down and relayed the importance of keeping the ants out of the
potato salad and he giggled.

Then as I went to get out of bed, I noticed I was sticky and crusty as a few of my
pubes got pulled out. I yelped and Jasper spoke hurriedly, "Edward? What's wrong?"

I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn, "Um…I'm sticky and kind of crusty and
now sporting a few less pubic hairs."

He started laughing and I whined, "It's not funny, Jay…I've never woken up like
this before…"

His laughter broke a little as he chuckled, "That's cuz I always clean you up after
you pass out, darlin…as soon as you get off…you fall asleep."

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed as my cheeks felt on fire, "Oh…um…I
guess that would explain it."

Once his laughter calmed down he said, "Don't be embarrassed, Eddie…we all got
our quirks…"

I smiled and giggled a little, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Go take a shower, darlin. I'm gonna go take mine and I'll see ya in a couple
hours."

I carefully rolled out of bed, "Okay, Jay. Love you."

"Love you too, babe."

I hung up the phone and took a long hot shower. I laid around for a little while and
started writing in my journal. Dr. Greene thought it would be a good idea for me to
start writing down my random thoughts and musings as a way of getting things out
of my head. I didn't pay much attention to what I wrote…I simply let my mind move
the pen.

Finally, I heard the soft knock on my door and I rolled over on my side to see
Jasper standing there with a beautiful dimpled grin, "Hey Eddie."
- 390 -
 I smiled, "Hey Jay."

He walked over and laid down next to me on his stomach, "What'cha writin,
Edward?"

I pushed the journal over to him and shrugged, "Nothing really…just something
Dr. Greene suggested I do…just getting the thoughts in my mind out."

He read a few passages and sighed, "God, Edward…your mind is so fuckin

beautiful…"

I blushed and rolled over on my back, "I'd hardly call my mind beautiful, Jay…my
mind manifests visions that aren't really there…makes me hear and see things that
don't exist…my mind is all messed up."

He raised up and put his arms on either side of my face as he looked down at me
with those soft baby blue eyes, "Baby…your mind is incredible. I wish I could write
the way you do…you're really talented, Edward."

I smiled up at him as I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thanks, Jay."

He smiled back and then leaned down to give me a soft sweet kiss. We talked for
awhile and he told me what happened with Brady. I felt so bad for him. I wouldn't
know what to do if my parents had rejected me the way they did him. So, I pulled
out my phone to call and check on him.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Brady."

"Hi Edward."

"I'm so sorry about what happened. How are you today? Is there anything I can do
to help?"

He sighed, "No, thanks though. Actually, Em drove me over to Uncle Billy's house
today and he and Jacob talked to my mom. I guess, they agreed to let me stay with
Uncle Billy since Jake told them that he'll try to straighten me out. Of course, he was
just saying what they wanted to hear. Em and Jake just left to go and get my stuff."

I let out a breath, "Well, that's good then, Brady. Are you going to be going to
school with us then?"
- 391 -
 "Um…yeah."

I smiled, "That's great. You'll have all of your friends with you everyday. We're all
here for you, you know that."

He giggled a little, "Yeah, I'm looking forward to that."

"So, you and Tommy? Any sparks?"

He full out laughed now, "I wouldn't exactly say sparks but…um…we have a lot in
common and he's really nice. I think he'll be a good friend. Maybe something will
come of it but if not, I'm just really happy to have another friend."

"That's great, Brady. Well, I guess I'll go. I just wanted to check on you."

He sighed, "Thanks, Edward. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, Brady. Bye."

I told Jay about Brady and he felt better about the whole thing. I was really
thankful for Jake and Billy, at least he had some family to support him.

The next day at school was great. Brady started and we had a lot of classes
together so it was cool to finally have one of the members of the gang with me
throughout the day. Tommy was opening up a little more and he seemed like a
genuinely nice guy. He reminded me a lot of Emmett only a little more quiet and
reserved.

Emmett was still the biggest shock to me. I mean, if you saw the guy coming at
you, you would be scared senseless because he looks so big and scary…but in
reality, he was one of the sweetest most sensitive guys I had ever known. He
watched out for Brady and Tommy and I was glad we all had a big brother figure
like him.

The weekend finally came and I was so happy to be off punishment. Saturday
night came round and we were all sitting around Rosalie's house waiting on Alice.
Finally, she showed up and she was dressed to kill in a tight red little dress and
matching heels.

Jasper let out a whistle, "Hot damn, girl! If I was into chicks, I'd be all over you
like white on rice."

- 392 -
 She smiled and did a little twirl, "Thanks, Jazzy."

I smiled at her, "What are you so dolled up for, Alice?"

She began jumping up and down like the little hyper midget she was, "Jazzy and I
are going to a club tonight…"

What?

I turned to Jasper who was cringing, "Wait…what? What's she talking about?"

Jasper sighed and pulled his hand through his golden curls, "We're goin to a club
in Seattle. I'm not goin in or anything…it's a long story, Edward."

I was getting more than a little upset, "Well? Were you planning on telling me? It
appears that everyone else here knows what's going on…"

He groaned, "Yeah, I was gonna tell you…"

I wanted to stomp my foot but I just sat down and folded my arms across my
chest, "So tell me now."

He sat down next to me and put his arm around me, "Baby…I don't want you to
freak out, okay?"

I turned to look at him, "Quit trying to soften me up and tell me what's going on."

He groaned again, "Fine…"

He proceeded to tell me about his plan to get revenge on James. I listened

patiently until he was done…and then I exploded.

I jumped off the couch and glared at him, "Jasper! What the hell, man?! Do you
think you're fucking 007?! Don't do this!"

He jumped up and yelled back, "Quit fuckin yellin at me! I'm gonna do this,
Edward! It's either this or I'm goin to his house and fuckin him up there!"

I was livid and frustrated and worried beyond belief. I somehow managed to get
my voice calmed down just a little, "Jay, this is not a fight you need to have. If you
think he's dealing drugs or doing something with kids, then call the cops. This is not
a movie or some little fantasy world you're playing in, Jasper! This is reality and so
- 393 -
many things could go wrong! One little intangible that you didn't count on, could
blow your whole plan to pieces!"

He grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and took a swig. I went over and ripped the
bottle from his hands, "Oh, that'll make everything all better, Jay! Take another
drink because that helps all your problems go away! Fucking talk to me! Tell me
why I should let you do this!"

He scowled at me as his eyes narrowed and the look in his eyes, caused me to
shudder, "Let me? Since when the fuck do I have to ask for permission to do
something? In case you haven't noticed, I got no mama and daddy…I'll do whatever
the fuck I wanna do when I wanna fuckin do it. Do you understand me, Edward?"

I shook my head as my own anger boiled to the edge, "No, I don't fucking
understand at all! You promised me you would never do anything to get you taken
away from me. You swore that this part of you…the sneaky, vengeful, I don't give a
fuck Jasper was supposed to be dead and buried. One little fuck up, Jay…just one
little thing goes wrong…and you're gone. You're in jail or hurt or taken away from
me somehow. Is revenge worth losing me?"

He sighed and jumped up on the counter. He sat there with his head buried in his
hands, "This is why I didn't wanna get you involved, man."

I pulled his hands from his face and looked into his eyes and pleaded, "Jasper…you
hold my heart…my whole life, is in your hands. If you're involved, I'm involved by
default."

His eyes softened and he let out a breath, "I'm doin this for you, Edward. He hurt
you. Lord knows what the fucker is gonna try and pull. I have to do something."

I sighed, "You say you're doing this for me and I am begging you, Jasper…please
don't do this."

He jumped off the counter and shook his head, "I'm not makin any promises,
Edward. I'm goin with Alice tonight."

Now I did stomp my foot, "Why are you so damn stubborn?!"

He just walked past me and muttered, "C'mon, Ali."

She turned and looked at me with sad eyes as she mouthed, 'Sorry.' She followed
him out as I stood there dumbstruck.
- 394 -
 I turned to Emmett, "Why didn't you try and talk him out of this? You know this is
a bad idea!"

He just shook his head and whispered, "I'm sorry, Edward…this is personal for
me. I'm going to be with him when the shit goes down."

I threw up my hands in frustration and yelled out, "Fuck!"

Then I took off running up the stairs and out the front door. The car was already
gone. I screamed again and pulled out my phone. I called his number and cursed
under my breath that he better answer the damn phone.

"What, Edward?"

Asshole!

"Jasper…turn the car around and come back and get me."

He sighed, "No."

I was really pissed now, "Turn the fucking car around and come back for me right
now! I may not be your father but I'm your fucking boyfriend and if you want it to
stay that way, you better turn the god damn car around right now! Do you
understand me, Jasper?!"

He growled, "Fuck! God damnit Edward! Alice, turn the fucking car around…we're
going back for Edward."

Finally, I win at something…

He growled again, "Fuckin happy now, Edward?"

I sighed, "No, not really. I love you, Jasper."

And then I hung up the phone and waited for them. A few minutes later, they
pulled down the drive and I hopped in the back seat. Alice was driving and she tried
talking to us but neither of us was budging. She finally just turned on the radio and
sang the whole way there.

When we finally got to the club, she parked out on the street.

"Okay, boys…kiss and make up while I'm gone. Be back in a little while." She
- 395 -
jumped out of the car and made her way inside the club.

Jasper was in the front seat with his head lying back and eyes closed. We were
quiet. After about an hour, I fell asleep.

I woke up gasping for air as tears fell from my eyes. Jasper was in the backseat
now with his hands on my face and whispering, "Breathe, darlin…everything's
okay…"

I couldn't catch my breath as I went into a panic attack. The rain was pounding on
the roof of the car and I desperately needed to feel it against my skin. I thrashed my
arms and ripped myself away from him as I jumped out of the car.

I fell to my knees on the cold, hard pavement and began sucking in air…

It was just a dream, Edward…it wasn't real…

He was kneeling in front of me with his hands on my arms. When I lifted my head
to look at him, lightening flashed and I saw his wings.

It's not real…there are no wings…your mind is playing tricks again, Edward…

I closed my eyes and threw my arms around his neck…I couldn't stop my hands
from reaching out for his imaginary wings and trying to feel the softness against my
fingertips.

Once I felt nothing, I opened my eyes. He pulled away and held my face in his
hands. His eyes were searching mine as he whispered, "Edward?"

I nodded, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…"

He pulled me into his chest and held me for a moment while I calmed down.
Eventually, he stood and helped me up. He took my face in his hands again as the
rain poured down all around us.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I should've told you everything from the beginning. I love
you so much. Please don't be mad at me."

And in this moment, I just needed to feel him so I tangled my hands in his hair and
pulled his lips to mine…not ready to talk, only to feel.

He let out a breath he had been holding and his sweet scent washed over me. I
- 396 -
parted my lips as his tongue pushed its way in and let me taste him…making
everything okay.

His hands were on my hips and a moment later, my back crashed against the car
as he kissed me hungrily. I moaned into his mouth as my hands tugged at his wet
t-shirt. His arms went around my waist and his hands cupped my ass as he lifted me
onto the hood of the car.

My legs wrapped around him and I locked my ankles above his ass, pulling him
into me. He moaned now as his hands found their way to my hair, tugging and
pulling at the wet locks.

I felt him harden through his jeans and I yanked myself into him to make sure he
felt me too.

He pulled away gasping and shivering, "Edward…let's get in the car, baby."

I nodded and unlocked my ankles. I jumped off the hood of the car as he opened
the back door for me. I crawled in and he crawled in next to me.

He reached up to the front and cranked up the heat. Then he smiled at me as he

laid me down across the back seat. He was cold and wet but his body against mine
produced an inferno.

He kissed me again, his lips scorching mine as my body heated up from the inside
out. And then I felt his hands pop open the button of my jeans. I pulled away from
the kiss with a shaky breath, "Jay…we're in a car…"

He smiled down at me, "I'll be fast, Eddie…"

I was already panting as I sat up with my head resting against the door window.
He quickly unzipped my jeans and I felt his cool, long fingers reach in and wrap
around my cock.

I moaned as me head fell back against the window and my eyes closed of their
own will. I felt his body weight shift and when I opened my eyes, he was in-between
my legs. A moment later, his warm, wet mouth engulfed me.

"Oh God Jay…"

One of my hands held onto the headrest of the seat in front of me while my other
hand tangled in his wet golden curls. His mouth and tongue moved up and down my
- 397 -
hard shaft over and over…sucking hard as my toes began to curl.

He was grunting around my cock and his tongue swirled around the head as he
sucked it gently before plunging back down, rough and deep.

I was moaning now, completely incoherent to anything else but the pleasure he
was giving me.

"Ugh…Jasper…just like that, baby…feels so good…don't stop, baby…don't ever

fucking stop…"

I looked down at those wet curls as they bounced lightly and fell into his eyes. I
swept my hand across them to move them out of the way of his beautiful face. His
eyes opened and found mine.

Then I felt his teeth softly dragging along my throbbing cock as he winked at
me…I exploded.

"Fuuuuck!"

God…he's so damn good at that…he knows exactly what I like…

He swallowed hard around me as I trembled and shook beneath him. Once I was
reduced to a gooey puddle of mush…he lifted his head and quickly tucked me back
into my jeans. He pulled up the zipper and buttoned the button.

He sat up next to me and I reached down for his jeans but he just grabbed my
hand, "No, darlin…that was just about you. Just let me hold you…please?"

I nodded and curled into his chest. He held me tight and safe in his arms as he
whispered, "Am I forgiven?"

I smirked up at him, "You don't exactly fight fair, Jay."

He laughed softly and brushed his fingertips across my forehead, pushing the wet
hair back, "In all fairness, Edward…you've always known that I fight a little dirty."

I knew that I wasn't winning this fight tonight so I just sighed, "I'm not happy
about it, Jasper. The whole idea scares the hell out of me but I know that you're
going to do what you want regardless so can I just ask you for one thing?"

He nodded and I took a deep breath, "Just give it some time…really think this
- 398 -
thing through…and please don't leave me out anymore. I know you think you're
protecting me but it makes me feel bad to think that you're keeping things from me.
You shouldn't keep anything from me…ever…I love you, Jasper."

He sighed, "I love you too, Edward. I promise to give it a little time, okay? And I
promise to never keep anything from you again."

He leaned down and kissed me again. Then the front door opened and Alice
jumped in, "Thank God, you two made up. I hate to see a couple as cute as you,
fighting."

I glanced at the clock and it was nearly 2 in the morning, "Jeez Ali…you were in
there almost three hours…"

She turned around and smiled, "I know, sorry, but I met the most fantastic
woman!"

I pulled myself from Jasper's lap as he leaned up and rested his elbows on the
seats in front of us, "Really? That's great, Ali."

She was bouncing up and down in her seat as she pulled out her phone and
shoved it at us, revealing a picture of a pretty little blonde who looked to be just a
few inches taller than her.

"She's really pretty, Alice," I smiled up at her and she clapped her hands in
excitement.

"I know, right! Her name is Jane and her uncle owns the club. She just turned 21
last month so her uncle gave her a job as a bartender here while she goes to school.
She's so funny and really sweet. She said I was the prettiest girl she's ever seen in
real life!"

Jasper laughed and tousled her hair, "Well, she's got good taste, darlin. So, didja
find out anything about James?"

She jumped and pulled out a piece of paper from her purse, "Oh, yeah…here's his
schedule for the next three months."

Jasper took the paper in his hands and laughed, "Jeez, woman…you were
right…you are crafty."

She laughed, "Yeah, Jane gave it to me. I told her that he knocked up my best
- 399 -
friend before he figured out he was gay and now he won't pay child support. She has
a 2 year old daughter so she handed me over the schedule without any fight at all. I
told her that I was just trying to get some information to help out my friend."

I laughed, "You're diabolical, Alice."

She smiled, "Yeah…I'm the shit."

We made our way back to Rose's house and Alice was rattling on the whole time
about Jane. Apparently, they had made plans to meet up for lunch tomorrow and she
needed a few hours to figure out what to wear.

By the time we got back, Rose and Emmett had retired to their room and Tommy
and Brady were watching 'Revenge of the Nerds' on TBS. We talked for a little bit
before Jay dragged me off to bed.

The next few weeks were great, we all fell back into our old routine and Tommy
was really coming along. Him and Brady had become close friends and Brady had
confided in me that he really liked Tommy. He told Tommy that he liked him and he
told him he liked him too but he just wasn't ready for anything more…yet. I was
hopeful that they would eventually get together.

Jasper had made a doctor appointment to get tested for everything so I took that
as a good sign that he was getting closer to being ready. I mean, seriously, if I had
to wait much longer, I was going to go insane.

I decided to get myself checked out too so he wouldn't have to go through this
alone. We went together to get our results and we both let out a sigh of relief when
we came back clean. My dad was actually proud of us for being responsible enough
to want to keep each other safe and for coming to him. Of course, he still talked up
the importance of waiting until we were older and more responsible…blah, blah,
blah. I would jump Jasper right this moment if he gave me the okay.

Dad took us to get our learner permits and we both passed the test on the first try.
He was taking us out practicing today in his SUV.

"Okay, who wants to go first?" he smiled as he hopped out of the driver's seat. As
much as I wanted to drive…the thought of screwing up in front of Jasper was a little
nerve wracking.

Luckily, Jay jumped at the chance. I sat in the back and Jasper hopped in the
driver's seat. Dad sat in the passenger seat to instruct, "Okay, son…the left is the
- 400 -
brake…"

Jasper gave him a sheepish grin, "Um…Carlisle? I kinda already…"

My dad cut him off with a raised eyebrow, "You already know how to drive, don't
you son?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

Dad sighed and shook his head, "I don't want to know, do I son?"

Jasper shook his head and grinned, "No, probably not."

Dad put on his seatbelt , "Okay…let's see what you've got."

Jasper buckled his seatbelt and adjusted his mirrors. Then he started the car and
just…started driving…like it was frickin second nature to him.

Damn perfect boyfriend who knows how to do every damn thing…

When it was my turn, I was even more nervous due to Jasper's stellar driving
abilities. I kept giving it too much gas and then slamming on the brakes. I guess I
was afraid of it…I mean, you have a lot of power when you're behind the wheel of a
car.

When I ran over a median at McDonald's, my dad decided to call it a day. We went
inside and ate and while dad was in the bathroom, I leaned over and whispered,
"Okay, Jay…where'd you learn to drive like that?"

He gave me his wicked little grin that turned my insides all gooey as he
whispered, "Mama's ex-boyfriend…he'd steal cars and strip them. He taught me how
to drive when I was twelve…just in case."

I just shook my head and muttered, "…only damn thing you ever learned from
your parents was how to be a good criminal…"

He just shrugged and took a bite of his Big Mac.

A month had passed since all the talk about revenge on James and I was happy
that it seemed to be pushed under the table. Lord knows I didn't need that kind of
stress and worry in my life.

- 401 -
 We only had a couple weeks until spring break and the gang was busy making
plans for pool parties and barbecue's at Rose's house. We were sitting at the lunch
table laughing and having fun when my phone signaled that I had a text.

I pulled it out and opened it…it was a picture of me and Jasper kissing that night
outside the club.

I gasped and Jasper put his hand on my shoulder, "What's wrong…" then his
phone went off. He pulled it out and looked. And then I noticed, phone's were going
off all around the lunch room.

It felt like everything was in slow motion as the students looked at their phones
and then over at us in shock. People began whispering and laughing. I could feel my
heart begin to race…voices became muffled and I begin to gasp for air.

Jasper's hands were on my shoulders, "Calm down, Edward…it's gonna be

okay…you gotta breathe…"

But how could I? We had just been outed to the entire school. I wasn't ready for
this. I couldn't handle this. Who would do this?

Paul and Embry grabbed their trays and stood. Paul looked away and muttered,
"Sorry Jasper…I can't be seen with a queer."

And Embry added, "Yeah…that's just gross, man."

Jasper's mouth dropped open and I knew that he was hurt. They were some of the
first friends he made here, besides me.

Some people walked by and whispered, "I knew Edward was a freak but I can't
believe he dragged Jasper down with him…so sad…"

My head was spinning. I had to get out of here. I jumped up and ran out of the
lunchroom. A moment later, I was wrapped in two big burly arms as Emmett
whispered, "Fuck them, Edward. You've got your friends. To hell with what they
think."

I turned in his arms and he let me go. My little circle of friends was surrounding
me, telling me that everything was going to be okay. But how could they know that?

Jasper pulled me in his arms as I shook. I closed my eyes tight when I began
seeing shadows streaking by. I was trembling as my knees went weak. I hung on to
- 402 -
Jasper with everything I had and whispered, "Please make it stop, Jay…make it all go
away…please…"

He whispered against my cheek, "I can't undo this, Edward. We're out. The only
thing we can do now is face it."

He pulled away and held my face and I could see the anger in his eyes, "Edward,
you are too strong and have been through too much to let these mother fuckers
break you. They don't like it, tough fuckin shit. I ain't goin nowhere…we're in this
together. We're gonna walk back in that fuckin lunchroom and show them bastards
that they can't break us. I'm gonna be right by your side, darlin, but we gotta handle
this shit right fuckin now."

I shook my head, "I can't…I can't go back to being the town freak again…I won't
survive, Jasper…"

Bella spoke now, "Edward, you're not in this alone. We are your friends and we
are all going to stick by you…it's not like it was before…"

Emmett put his hand on my shoulder, "Besides, no one's going to touch you with
me and Jay around…"

And Jasper looked back at me with deep, midnight eyes, "And you can defend
yourself now, Edward. No one here can do anything to you but talk shit. Does it
really matter what they think? They're not important…we are. Fuck em cuz any one
of those fuckers would kill to have what you've got. You've got friends who will fight
for you…you've got parents who love you unconditionally…and you've got me.
Forever, baby. It's you and me against this whole fuckin world and we're stronger
than any one of those bastards. Let's do this, Edward."

He was right. Things were different now. I wasn't alone and I wasn't afraid to fight
anymore. My friends would stick by me…my mom and dad would never turn their
backs on me…and Jasper was permanently embedded to me. He was a part of me
that would never go away. He would be with me forever.

I took a deep breath and nodded. Jasper gave me that beautiful dimpled grin and
laced his fingers with mine.

And together, hand in hand, we walked back into the lunchroom, surrounded by
our protective circle of friends. I could hear the snickers and whispers from
everyone around me but his hand squeezed mine a little tighter and I took a deep
breath to keep myself calm.
- 403 -
 Jasper glared around the room and finally growled, "That's right…Edward Cullen
is my boyfriend…any of you fuckers got a problem with that?"

The people that were scared of him turned away quickly and kept their mouths
shut. Others still giggled their little comments but we just ignored them and went
back to our table.

Jasper smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back, even if I felt like I wanted
to throw up. As we sat down, Maria and Tanya walked up. Tanya looked hurt,
"Edward…you're just confused, right? I mean, this can't be for real."

I shook my head, "No, Tanya…I'm not confused. Jasper and I are together…I'm
sorry if that hurts you but that's just the way it is."

Maria was seething as she screamed, "What the fuck, Jasper?! You slept with me
and you're a fucking faggot! I could get AIDS…"

Jasper's mouth fell open for a moment before I saw a pretty little manicured hand
reach out and smack Maria hard across her cheek.

Rosalie scowled at her, "You fucking bitch! He should be afraid of catching some
shit from you! You nasty, trashy whore!"

Then two teachers walked up and pulled Rosalie away as she still screamed,
"What?! I get in trouble for smacking that cunt but she can talk to someone like
that?! Bullshit!"

Tanya and Maria were led off by another teacher and Emmett shook his head,
"Bitch…don't worry, Rosie will calm down. She's always hated Maria."

For the first time ever, I saw worry in Jasper's eyes as he whispered to Emmett,
"What about football, man? Are the guys gonna want me to quit?"

He had grown to really love playing. He liked being part of the team and more so,
he loved the power of putting people on their asses.

Emmett sighed, "Don't worry about it, Jay. If any of the guys have an issue, I'll
deal with it. We need you on the team and as stupid as some of them are, they'll
remember that."

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and I would have to face my next class
without my protective circle. Well, I had Brady and Tommy but they weren't the
- 404 -
strongest guys in our group. Still, I was thankful to have them.

Jasper walked us to our room and sighed, "Don't let them get to you, Edward. I'll
meet you when class is over."

I nodded, "Okay, Jay. You don't let them get to you either."

He smiled but it didn't reach show his dimples, "I won't, babe. Love you."

I let out a breath and smiled back tentatively, "I love you too."

I was well aware of the whispers and giggles as Brady, Tommy, and I walked into
our Lit class.

Mr. Walker slammed his book shut which brought everyone's attention to him.

"I am well aware of the events that took place during lunch. I will tell you all this
once and once only…my classroom will be respected. Keep your personal opinions
and comments to yourselves or I will remove you from my class. Now, where were
we yesterday…"

I was really grateful to him right now. Once class ended, I walked up to him and
spoke quietly, "Um…Mr. Walker? Thanks for the…um…save."

He smiled softly at me, "You are one of my very best students, Edward. Just
remember that high school…is not the real world. This will all end and when you go
out to face the real world, things will be different. Keep up the good work."

I nodded and walked out of the room to be met by Jay and Emmett. Apparently, we
were sticking together today which I was really thankful for.

Once we reached my next class, Jasper took my hand in his and slipped something
in it. I opened my palm to see a packet of honey. He gave me that sexy wicked grin
and whispered, "Think happy thoughts, darlin."

Jasper and honey…my two very favorite things…

The next class passed without incident…even one girl, Katie, walked up and
smiled and told me that she didn't care what anyone said, she thought I was a really
great guy.

After class, Jay was waiting on me with Em and we started walking to gym. The
- 405 -
worst class of the day.

Brady came running down the hallway looking frantic, "Guys!"

Em looked down at his frazzled little face, "What's up, Brady?"

He took a deep breath, "Tommy got some sort of text during class…I couldn't see
what it was but he took off running…I tried to go after him but the teacher stopped
me…he never came back!"

Em muttered, "Shit!"

Jasper spoke, "Did ya check the bathrooms?"

Brady shook his head, "No, I came to find you!"

Jasper muttered, "Fuck…you and Em go that way…me and Edward will go this
way. Call us if you find him."

He grabbed my hand and we took off searching through the bathrooms. The bell
had already rang so everything was pretty much cleared out by the time we hit the
second floor bathrooms.

And as I walked in one…I was hit immediately with the smell of blood.

I gagged and then I saw it…legs sticking out from underneath one of the stalls as
blood pooled around them.

I screamed out for Jay and he was there a moment later.

I ran over and opened the door to see Tommy lying there, unconscious with slit
wrists. Immediately, I looked up at Jasper, "Call 911!"

He nodded and pulled out his phone. I called my dad.

"Son?"

"Dad! I'm at school…my friend Tommy just slit his wrists. There's blood
everywhere. What do I do?"

I heard some shuffling as he spoke quickly, "You need to stop the bleeding, if
there are no towels, rip your shirt into pieces and wrap them tightly around the
- 406 -
wounds…"

"Okay…" I put the phone down and tore my t-shirt off doing as he said. Once his
wrists were wrapped I picked the phone back up.

"What now?"

I heard his car start, "I'm on my way, hold his arms up above his heart…is he
conscious?"

"No, I think he's going into shock. I can feel his pulse though it's weak…"

"Just hold on tight…did you call 911?"

"Yes, Jasper called."

He sighed, "You did good, son. I'll be there soon."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. By this time, Emmett and Brady had
arrived. Emmett just crumbled and this time, it was Brady who held him as he cried.
Jasper walked over and knelt down, "An ambulance is on the way."

I nodded, "Yeah, dad is too…"

He nodded and then he reached over and picked up Tommy's phone that was now
dripping in blood. He grabbed a piece of my shirt and wiped it off before opening it
and looking at , what I assume, was the text he had received.

He muttered, "Mother fucker…"

"What is it, Jay?" My arms were growing weak as I held Tommy's wrists up. Em
had now come over and took them from me as Jasper showed me the message.

It was a video…of Tommy all drugged up with a couple of naked men around him
but you couldn't see faces. I heard the sounds of what was happening but had to
turn away. Once the video was done playing he held it back to me and I saw the
words 'Kill yourself or this goes out to everyone.'

Jasper closed the phone and whispered, "James."

Brady held onto Tommy's hands now as Emmett jumped and ran.

- 407 -
 I looked to Jasper, "Stop him! He's going after James!"

Jasper took off running and I sat there as Brady cried. All of a sudden, my
problems seemed so small.

James did this. James sent the picture…sent this video. I had underestimated him.
I thought this would all somehow disappear if we left it alone but instead, it was
getting bigger and bigger. What if Tommy didn't make it? What would this do to
Emmett? What would this do to all of us? James had to be stopped. I saw that now.

What seemed like forever, but was probably only a few minutes, my dad and the
ambulance arrived.

They took over and sent me and Brady out of the bathroom. As I walked out, in a
solemn daze, I saw Rose and Emmett crying hysterically holding onto each other for
dear life. Jasper was sitting on the floor, slumped against the lockers with his head
in his hands. The principal had instructed the teachers to keep all of the kids in their
classrooms until the situation was resolved.

I walked over and slid down next to him. I hadn't cried yet…I was still in shock. I
looked down at my jeans and hands that were covered in my friend's blood and I
shuddered as the tears slowly started to fall.

Jasper's arm went around me as my head rested on his shoulder. He whispered,

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head and cried harder as I buried my whole body into his and he held
me tightly.

Eventually, the EMT's brought Tommy out on a stretcher. He was still unconscious
and they were taking him to the hospital. Dad said he was going to go with them and
handle his care himself and he would call us as soon as he knew something. He told
us to go home and wait for his call and that Em, Rose, and Brady could go with us if
they wanted.

So, we pulled ourselves up and left the school. Emmett drove us to our house and
we convinced them to stay with us until we got the phone call because I was
terrified that Emmett was going to go after James alone.

My mom brought us some food and drinks and told us she was there if we wanted
to talk but she would give us all some privacy.

- 408 -
 As we sat around my bedroom, the cries had ceased and now anger was taking
through. Emmett muttered, "I'm gonna kill the mother fucker!"

I shook my head, "No, Em. Let's put him away."

Jasper looked over at me in surprise and I nodded, "I'm in."

Sorry for the evil cliffy!

- 409 -
 Chapter 22

Jasper's POV

I tried my best to process all of the day's events but my mind was all over the
place. James outed us. I know I wanted to be out with Edward but not like this. And
when it happened, I'm sure I felt as sick as Edward did but I had to be strong for
him. If I freaked out, he would freak out.

But on the inside, I was freaking out.

I had made a reputation in this school as being kinda a bad ass…were people
gonna start testin me now that they knew I was gay? Would people think I was less
of a man cuz of it? Of course, I would fight if I needed to…that was never a problem
for me. But now, my life was so different…I didn't wanna have to fight all the time. I
like not having all the drama in my life that I had grown up with. Now, I had to be
back on my fuckin guard at all times.

And Edward…what was this gonna do to him? His wounds were still fresh and
deep…would this push him over the edge? But he had gotten a lot stronger these
last couple years…I mean, the little fucker stood up to me, but I guess he knows that
I'd never kick his ass…kiss it, fuck it, squeeze it…but I'd never hurt him no matter
how mad I got.

Thank God for our friends. Our real friends, I mean. Fuck Paul and Embry.
Bastards took up with me the minute I came to this Podunk town and I was good
enough to hang out with when I was standing up for their bitch asses. I should kick
their asses. Mother fuckers…

But our real friends were fearless. I think that all of us together, can be enough to
help Edward through this. I would be fine cuz in reality, I really didn't give a fuck
what anyone thought…I just didn't want them to fuck with us.

I think we handled things well, given the circumstances. We stood our ground and
I respected Edward a lot for havin the balls to do it. It would have been easy for him
to run and hide but he stuck with me. It was amazing to watch how much that boy
grew everyday into an incredible man. One day, we'd be outta school…outta
Forks…and on our own. I just had to keep reminding myself of that.

And then Tommy happened.

- 410 -
 What. The. Fuck.

I didn't even know what to think about the Tommy situation. He was my friend…is
my friend. He's a good guy who got put through some really bad shit. Em said he
had tried to kill himself before…was that cuz James told him to? He just had to make
it through this…right? Emmett had already been torn up inside cuz he thought he
failed Tommy…this could push him over the edge.

But Carlisle was there…if anyone could save Tommy, he could. I had faith in that.

And what about Edward? Damn, he was amazing. I was freakin out but he stayed
calm the whole time. If Tommy survived this, it would be cuz of Edward. It was
funny that him and Carlisle weren't related biologically but they shared a lot of the
same traits.

I worried about what this did to Edward's mind though. I know he was seein
shadows in the hallway cuz I saw his head whipping around before he closed his
eyes. All this stress ain't good for him.

Finally Emmett balled up his fists and through clenched teeth growled, "I'm gonna
kill the mother fucker!"

I looked over from the windowsill where I was smoking a cigarette at Edward. He
shook his head and said, "No, Em. Let's put him away."

I was surprised cuz I knew how he felt about the whole James thing…he's the only
reason I hadn't done anything yet.

He just nodded and whispered, "I'm in."

My stomach was doing flip flops cuz the whole reason I hadn't told Edward about
any of this was cuz I didn't want him involved. I'm not stupid, I knew this whole
thing could go wrong but I was just one of those mother fuckers who sometimes
really didn't give a fuck…but when it came to Edward, I did give a fuck.

So, as much as I hated what I was about to do, I felt I had no choice if Edward was
involved, "We should show the video to the cops."

Emmett shook his head, "Hell no. If Tommy makes it through this…I can't even
think what he'd do if he knew that video got out. He might have to testify or
something…he's not strong enough, man. He'd never make it through that."

- 411 -
 Edward sighed, "Besides, James obviously isn't stupid enough to send that video
from a traceable phone. My guess, it's a throwaway…prepaid."

I took a drag from my cigarette and exhaled out the open window, "I need to get
in his house…I need to see if he's got enough in there to put him away for good
before we go any further."

Edward squeezed his eyes shut, I knew he hated this but he felt backed into a
corner. I felt that way too and when I'm backed into a corner, I come out fuckin
swinging.

Then he opened his eyes and looked to Alice, "Ali? Do you think Jane would take
James house key while he's at work and have a copy made? You could meet her up
there, take the key and make a copy so she could return it before he ever knew it
was missing."

Fuckin genius…

Alice and Jane had grown really close…official girlfriends. They adored each other
and Jane would serve her alcohol even after she found out that Alice wouldn't be 18
for another three months…so it's not like she wouldn't do something illegal or
immoral for Ali.

Alice sighed, "I'm having dinner with her tomorrow night. I'll ask….but I'll have to
tell her the whole story…I mean, the truth about James and what he's done."

Emmett nodded, "If you can get the key and you trust her, then do it."

She nodded.

I took a deep breath, "Guys? We need to really plan this out cuz I think we
underestimated James. He knew that Tommy was here so he must be keeping an eye
on us. He got the picture of me and Edward from the night at the club, so he knows
Alice is with us. We need to just except the fact that he knows all about our little
group and he's willing to come after any one of us. That being said, no one here goes
anywhere alone."

They all nodded and Brady spoke up, "But I don't understand why he waited so
long to send the picture of you and Edward out. I mean, that happened over a month
ago…why would he wait?"

I sighed, "I dunno, man. Maybe he was tryin to lull us into a sense of false
- 412 -
security…maybe it took him that long to gather everyone's phone numbers…I don't
know."

Edward looked over at me, "How do you think he was able to get all those
numbers?"

I shrugged and Rosalie spoke up, "Student directory. It would have everyone's cell
numbers in it…but how would he got a hold of that?"

Brady wrapped his arms around his legs and spoke quietly, "Um…guys? There was
more than one man on that video. What if someone at the school is involved?"

Shit, I hadn't even thought about that…thank God I hang out with smart kids…

Alice gasped, "Do you think that's true?"

Edward jumped up, "Okay…Jasper, we need to break up…"

I dropped my cigarette, "What?"

He shook his head, "Not for real, Jay…but at school. We need to have a big blow
out at school. Let's think about this for a moment…you know that James wants me. If
it gets back to him that we broke up…he's probably going to call me. I can publicly
accuse Alice of taking the picture and sending it out so if he hears all this, he won't
be afraid to contact me."

I lit up another one and he continued, "So, we wait and if he calls me, then I spill
my guts about how you were cheating on me with Tommy…that's why we think
Tommy did what he did. I'll be so distraught that he'll try to comfort me, I'm sure
with drugs. I've smoked pot with him so he'll think he can trust me and he knows I
don't know anything about drugs so I'll set him up to pick me up after school with
the stuff on him."

I furrowed my brows as my anxiety picked up, "Edward, I don't like you being this
involved, man…"

He just shrugged, "If you're going to break into his house, I can do this. Please
don't fight me on this, Jay."

I sighed, feeling defeated but wanted to make sure he understood what he was
getting into, "Edward, if we do this…break up at school and have a falling out, you
realize that you're gonna be on your own when you're at school. For it to be
- 413 -
believable, I'm not gonna be able to talk to you…we're really gonna have to act like
we're done…"

He gave me that sexy crooked grin, "Well, then I guess we'll just have a lot of
making up to do once we're back home."

I do like that part of the plan…

Edward's phone goes off and everyone collectively holds their breath as his shaky
fingers answer, "Dad? Yeah…hold on."

He pulls the phone away and presses the speaker button, "You're on speaker,
dad…"

Carlisle sighs and my stomach knots, "Tommy lost a lot of blood so we had to do a
transfusion…he's stable for the moment but it will be at least 48 hours until we
know for sure if he's going to regain consciousness. I'm sorry, kids, that's all I can
tell you at this point. Emmett, I understand that you and your father are the only
family he has here, correct?"

Emmett whispers in a shaky voice, "Yeah…I can call his mom and dad but…"

Carlisle cuts him off, "I already called them, son…they won't be coming. I haven't
been able to reach your father but if you'd like to come down for a few minutes, I
will let you in."

Rose interjects, "Carlisle, can I come with him? I don't want him to be alone."

She puts her arm around his broad shoulders and he leans into her for comfort.

Carlisle speaks, "Yes, sweetheart, that would be fine but no more visitors for
tonight. I'll call you when I know more. You kids hang in there. Edward, please take
me off speakerphone for a moment, son…"

Edward hit's the button and puts the phone to his ear and mumbles softly a few
'yeahs' 'thanks' and an 'I love you too' before handing me the phone, "Dad wants to
talk to you."

I take the phone and clear my throat, "Carlisle?"

He sighs, "I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you, son. You and Edward
really pulled through and behaved so rationally in such a horrible moment for you…"
- 414 -
 I shook my head, "It was all Edward, man…"

He yawned and I felt bad for him, he was always putting everyone's needs before
his own…but I guess that's what real love is all about.

"No, son…you did your part too. Anyway, I have to get back but if you want to talk
about anything…if you need anything…please call me."

I nodded for some strange reason, "Yeah, I will. Thanks for everything."

He spoke quietly, "I love you, son."

I took a deep breath and whispered, "I love you too."

"Get some rest, good night."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and handed it back to Edward. Then I wiped my fuckin eyes
off with the back of my hand…what is it about these Cullen men? Fuckers always
made me cry and shit.

The gang left, Em was gonna drop off Brady and Alice at their homes before he
and Rose headed to the hospital.

Once they left, I looked at Edward who looked exhausted as he laid across his bed.
I got up from the windowsill and slowly crawled on top of him…I just needed to feel
him…to touch him…to love him.

I leaned down and kissed him softly, feeling his warm soft lips moving against
mine was fuckin Heaven. I gently pulled away and brushed back the bronze locks
that had fallen on his forehead, "How ya doin, darlin?"

He sighed and wrapped his arms around my waist while I leaned on one elbow,
"I'm okay, Jay. I'm worried about Tommy…and Emmett…and Brady…and you. I'll be
okay."

I smiled…he was just like his dad, always putting others needs before his own. He
was gonna be an incredible husband someday.

Thank God he can't read my mind, I sound all girly and shit…

- 415 -
 "I'm okay, darlin. I'm worried too. How you feelin bout us…bout what happened
with us today?"

He smiled sweetly at me and sighed, "I won't lie, at first I was scared silly…but
you and the guys helped me through. But now, after Tommy…I just don't care about
being out anymore. I love you, Jay. Plain and simple. I'm not going to run and I'm not
going to hide anymore. It doesn't matter what people think…besides, they're just
jealous that I have such a fuckhot boyfriend and they don't."

I laughed and rested my free hand on his stomach, "Yeah, we're two good lookin
mother fuckers. I'm real proud of you, Edward. You're pretty fuckin tough, you know
that?"

That crooked little smile came across his face, "I've adopted a new
philosophy…WWJD."

I furrowed my brows a little confused, "What would Jesus do?"

He shook his head and smiled, "No…what would Jasper do?"

I sighed, "Don't always do what you think I'd do, babe…I've been known to be a
little hot headed at times."

He faked shock, "Really?"

I smirked, "Oh, you're gonna pay for that, smart ass."

I started tickling his stomach and sides while he began giggling and fighting me
back, but I was still stronger than him, especially when he was giggling like a 5 year
old school girl.

"Stop! You're going to make me pee!" he yelled and I laughed but ceased the
tickling. Then the little fucker smirked, "You're so easy."

And he grabbed both my hands and flipped me over onto my back while he
straddled my legs and squeezed his thighs against my hips.

I moaned as I felt his cock grind into mine, "Shit, Edward…not fair…"

He leaned down as he pinned my heads above my head. His tongue traced the
shell of my ear before nipping on the lobe and whispering, "You taught me how to
fight, Jay…did you forget?"
- 416 -
 I groaned and lifted my hips up to get more friction. My eyes closed and I was
already breathing heavily, "Baby…what about your mama?"

He pulled away and smiled sheepishly, "Oh…I forgot about that."

I laughed as I gripped his fingers in mine and rolled us over on our sides. My arm
was underneath his neck and he rested his head against my shoulder. Our bodies
were pressed together and my other arm was around his waist, rubbing the soft
smooth skin of his back and that delicious little dip he had right above his ass.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Love you, Jay."

I closed my eyes and whispered, "Love you, Eddie."

I woke up the next morning from Esme gently shaking my shoulder, "Wake up,
sweetie."

I opened my eyes just as Edward did. I yawned, "Did we sleep like this all night?"

She smiled, "Yeah. You two just seemed so exhausted after everything you went
through yesterday…I just couldn't bring myself to wake you."

I looked down and smiled…she had covered us with a blanket sometime during
the night. Edward's voice was rough with sleep and fuckin sexy as all get out,
"Morning, mom. Thanks for letting us sleep."

She nodded, "Do you boys feel like going to school today? I talked with your dad
and he was okay with it if you wanted to stay home. It is Friday, after all, and you
could probably use the long weekend."

I looked at her and sighed, "If I don't go to school, I won't be able to play in the
game tonight."

Esme smiled, "Well, why don't you boys take a little time to wake up and decide.
I'm going to go make some breakfast."

She left the room and I looked over at Edward, "As tempting as it is to stay in bed
with you all day, I really think we oughta go to school and face this. We don't wanna
give anyone any ammo in thinkin that we were dodgin school cuz of them."

He sighed and nodded, "You're probably right."

- 417 -
 We hadn't told Esme or Carlisle about us being outed yesterday. We talked about
it a little and decided that it would bring up too many questions…how did someone
get a picture of us kissing? Where were we when we got caught? Who would do
something like that? We weren't ready to answer any of those questions yet.

Emmett picked us up and I was a little surprised that he was going to school. But
he said that Carlisle had told him that he would call if there were any changes and
he wanted to be able to do any damage control for Tommy before rumors and shit
started flying.

Of course, the laughing and whispering started the moment we stepped foot on
campus but we just did our best to ignore it and stand strong. By the mid afternoon,
I was getting pissed and Edward was on edge too. We were standing at our lockers
when nerdy ass Eric walked by with Tyler and snorted, "Fucking homo's!"

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose before slamming his locker shut and
growling, "Hey Eric?"

Eric and Tyler stopped when Edward stalked up to them. I quickly followed suit
and stood by Edward's side cuz if he was gonna start some shit, I sure as fuck was
ready to kick some fuckin ass today.

Eric was short and Edward towered over him as he glared down and whispered,
"Just because I'm gay…don't think I can't fuck you up."

Tyler was a little more ballsy and laughed nervously, "Quit trying to hit on us you
damn queer."

I pushed him up against the locker, "Talk to me like that, Tyler…I fuckin dare
you."

He visibly gulped and stuttered, "Look, man…I don't want to fight you…"

I smiled now and let him go, "You don't have to worry about me or Edward hittin
on you two…we're gay, remember? We don't like pussies."

Emmett's laughter boomed from behind me and I turned to see him and Rosalie
standing there. She smirked with her arms folded across her chest, "Besides, you
two have got to be some of the ugliest, most ill built little boys I have ever seen. No
wonder none of the girls in the school would be caught dead with you. Just…gross."

Now some of the laughter turned to them as they shuffled off. Edward smiled at
- 418 -
Rose, "Thanks Rosalie."

She just shrugged, "What? I was just speaking the truth."

Alice came bouncing up to us, "Hey guys, bad news. Jane can't meet me tonight
for dinner. Her babysitter fell through."

Rose smiled, "Why don't you just invite her over tomorrow night? Is she working?"

Alice shook her head, "No, she has the weekend off but what about her daughter,
Gracie?"

Em put his arm around Rosie and smiled, "Why don't you just tell her to bring her?
We can forgo drinking for one night. Besides, Rosie and I will babysit to give you
guys a little alone time."

Rose jumped now, "That's a great idea! I really want to meet her anyway! I can't
believe you've been dating for over a month and you haven't introduced her to your
best friend!"

Alice smiled, "Okay, I'll call her after school."

The rest of the day passed with the usual giggles and whispers but we made it
through unscathed.

Finally, it was time to get ready for the game tonight and I was nervous as hell but
sure as fuck, wouldn't let it show. One thing I learned from my childhood…never
show any weakness cuz that just opens you up for a world of fuckin pain.

So I pushed my way into the locker room and started getting undressed. I was
very aware when the guys started moving away from me and getting dressed on the
other side. I knew I had better deal with this shit right fuckin now so once I pulled
my pants up, I walked around and faced them.

"Let's get this shit out right now. Yeah, I'm gay. No, I don't want any one of you
pussy mother fuckers. I'm still the same fuckin guy that goes out there every fuckin
week and puts fuckers to the ground for our god damn team. I'm not gonna quit and
you ain't gonna run me off so I suggest you learn to fuckin deal with it real quick.
You don't like it? Tough shit."

I turned around and saw Emmett standing there looking amused. I smirked, "Hey
fucker."
- 419 -
 He laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder as he addressed the team,
"Yeah, I think Jay said it all. We're a team. We stick together. If any one of you has a
problem with that, then maybe you're the one who needs to rethink your position
here. That being said, I'm the best looking mother fucker on this team and if I don't
do it for him, I seriously doubt any of you homely looking fuckers are. So, drop the
bullshit and let's go kick some fuckin ass!"

I wasn't surprised too much when a couple of guys did quit but Emmett just
smiled, "Let them go…they fucking sucked anyway. We've got back ups."

Some of the guys were still a little weary but most of them seemed to put any
issues they had on the backburner for now at least.

We went out there against Pike High and I had a little extra venom coursing
through my veins now so I took it out on them sorry bastards. We kicked their asses
and all was right with the fuckin world.

We went out for pizza that night and Alice was giddy that Jane had accepted her
invitation to stay over tomorrow night.

That night, I told Edward about what happened in the locker room and he was
really proud of me for standing up for myself…I mean, seriously, did he have any
doubts that I would?

The next night at Rosalie's house was finally here. We had gotten the call from
Carlisle saying that Tommy had woken up and he thought he would be okay. Emmett
and Rose stayed most the day with him but he wasn't ready to see anyone else yet so
we stayed away and just sent our well wishes for him.

Alice, Jane, and Gracie showed up around 8:00pm and Jane and Gracie were both
just adorable. Little Gracie ran up to Rosalie in awe, "Look mommy! It's a real life
Barbie doll!"

Rosalie smiled and bent down to face her cute little blue eyed face, "Well, Gracie,
how would you like to play dress up with me? I'll let you do my make up and brush
my hair. What do you think?"

Gracie turned to Jane who was looking at her daughter with nothing but love in
her eyes, "Mommy? Can I?"

She nodded, "Okay, sweetie."

- 420 -
 Rosalie went and got her make up kit and let little Gracie go to work as Alice
introduced Jane to us all. She was very nice and a little shy which was funny to me
considering Alice is one of the most outgoing people I knew…must be the hippie
parents.

We all sat around and talked for awhile. Jane had her own story and she wasn't
shy when it came to telling it. Gracie's father used to be one of her best friends,
Felix. But one night, after too much drinking at a party, he raped her. She became
pregnant and couldn't bear the thought of having an abortion. So, she had the baby.
Felix was very sorry for what he had done but Jane couldn't forgive him but also
couldn't prosecute him. So, she told him that all she wanted was to have the baby
and for him to leave them alone. He doesn't pay child support, she never wanted
it…she just wanted Gracie with no ties. She worried that keeping him out of her life
might be selfish of her, but for now, it was the only way she could manage.

She seemed like a pretty incredible woman. And to my surprise, Rosalie opened
up to her about what she had gone through. The two of them hit it off and Alice
couldn't seem happier than she did as she watched them talk.

Eventually Alice told Jane about James. We helped her get the whole story out
about what happened and why we needed her help. Once we were done, Jane had
tears in her eyes as she took a deep breath, "What a sick bastard…I can't believe
he's working at my uncle's bar. I want to help but…I have Gracie to think about.
What if he finds out and comes after us? I really think you guys should go to the
police. I think this may be too big for you."

Deep down, I knew she was right. Finally, Emmett sighed, "I'll talk to Tommy
tomorrow, okay?"

She smiled, "Try to convince him that this needs to be done. If, by chance, you
can't get him convinced…then I'll try to think of something to help."

The next day, me, Brady, Emmett, and Edward went to go see Tommy. When we
got there, Edward buried his head to my chest at the sight of him lying there,
hooked up to a bunch of machines, and just looking completely broken.

Brady started crying and went over and took his hand. Tommy smiled a little at
him and we all went around him and talked for a little about how he was feeling.
Finally, Em took his other hand and sighed as he whispered, "Tommy? We know
about the video James sent you."

Tommy's eyes went wide and he jerked his hands away as if he was being burned.
- 421 -
He shook his head as the tears started welling up in his eyes. Brady spoke next,
"Tommy…we love you. What James did is unforgivable but you have to understand
that it's not your fault. We just want to help you…"

Tommy shut his eyes and refused to talk. Finally, Edward pulled us out in the
hallway and whispered, "Let me talk to him."

Em sighed, "What are you gonna say?"

Edward took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his
nose, "You guys know about my past. Sexual abuse is so…demeaning and you feel so
vile…I think especially when you're a boy and it happens by a man. I want to tell him
about me…let him know that I understand some of what he's dealing with and how I
understand what it's like to just want to die sometimes because of it all. But you
have to accept that it's not your fault and if you have people around you who love
and support you, then you need to lean on them and face your demons or they'll
never go away."

Wow. Edward's fuckin amazing.

Em nodded and Edward went into Tommy's room while we waited in the hallway.
It seemed like forever until Edward opened the door. His eyes were puffy and red
but he smiled.

We walked over to Tommy's bed and his eyes matched Edward's. He whispered,
"I'll talk to the cops. I want Edward to stay with me."

Edward nodded and called his dad. He asked him to come by Tommy's room when
he got a chance. When Carlisle arrived, we left the room except for Edward. It
wasn't long until Chief Swan and another officer arrived.

I let out a sigh of relief that this would all be over soon and James would be out of
our fuckin lives for good.

After a long time, the cops left and Carlisle and Edward came out of the room.
Carlisle smiled at Emmett, "I had to give him a sedative, son…he was quite
distraught once he was finished telling his story. Chief Swan and Officer Harris are
headed over to the station now to get a search warrant. I've spoken with Tommy
about some treatment options. I know of a few good places where he could get
intensive therapy to help him through this as quickly as possible so he can begin
living his life again…"

- 422 -
 Emmett sighed, "Carlisle, I don't know if his parents will pay for it and…"

Carlisle put his hand on his shoulder, "Please don't worry about it, son. It's taken
care of. You boys should go home and get some rest. I'm really proud of you for
helping him through this."

He walked away and went back to work. Emmett wiped the tears away from his
eyes and pulled Edward into a hug as he whispered, "Thank you."

Edward hugged him back and whispered, "There's nothing to thank me for."

Emmett took us home and dropped us off and Esme was waitin on us with plenty
of comfort food.

The next few days passed and we hadn't heard much about the Tommy situation.
We were getting antsy waiting on the news. Little did we know, just how fuckin bad
it was gonna go.

When we walked through the door Tuesday after school, Carlisle called us into the
kitchen. "Sit down boys…we need to talk."

Edward and I looked at each other nervously before pulling out some kitchen
chairs and sitting across from him. His hands were folded on top of the table and his
head hung down.

He took a deep breath before lifting his head to look at us in the eyes. I could see
the anguish in them and my heart dropped.

"The only thing the police search turned up was a few pictures of Tommy with
James and a woman named Victoria, who James claims to be his girlfriend. The
pictures are not sexual in nature. James is claiming that he and Victoria befriended
Tommy at a party and he became obsessed with James. Victoria backs his story up.
He says nothing ever happened with Tommy and he grew suicidal when he turned
him down. Because of Tommy's past with the suicide attempts and time in a
psychiatric hospital, the cops are intent on believing James. Apparently, his parents
hired a very good lawyer for him so it's his word against Tommy's."

I had to close my eyes for a moment as I whispered, "What about the video?"

Carlisle sighed, "The video can't be traced. Most of the men's bodies were covered
so there are no identifying marks they can use to track them down. The only way
they would proceed is if Tommy was willing to go to court and testify. I told him I'd
- 423 -
get him a lawyer but even with one, the chances of getting any kind of conviction is
bleak to none. The cops just don't have any evidence. I've talked to Emmett and
Tommy. Tommy has agreed to go to a mental health facility in Seattle so that he can
stay close to Emmett. He leaves tomorrow. I'm really sorry, boys."

I couldn't control myself as I jumped from the table and yelled, "That's fuckin
bullshit! These fuckers are gonna walk away from this shit!"

Edward jumped up and wrapped his arms around me as I shook in anger. A

moment later Carlisle was there too, "I know, son. Don't you think it kills me to know
his story is true and not be able to help him! I hate this! It's not fair but there is
nothing we can do!"

I pulled away and grabbed my jacket, "I gotta get outta here for awhile…can I go
for a walk?"

Carlisle nodded, "Of course, son."

I started to walk out the door when Edward was by my side, "Can I come or do you
want to be alone?"

I looked into his pretty green eyes and sighed, "You can always come with me,
babe…no matter where I go."

He smiled softly and we took off down the driveway. I was surprised when he
grabbed hold of my hand as we walked down the street. His touch was calming to
me and I was thankful that he was opening himself up so much for me.

We walked for awhile when he turned to me, "You're not going to let this go, are
you?"

I shook my head, "No, man…I just can't. There's gotta be some way to get to that
fucker."

Eventually, we ended up at the park and I couldn't help but smile as he sat down
on one of the swings and patted the one next to him.

I sat down next to him and we just dragged our feet in the dirt for a bit before
facing each other. He held onto the chains of the swing and sighed, "Well, they
didn't find anything at his house…since Victoria is part of his cover, I'm sure she
doesn't have anything at her house…"

- 424 -
 He's a fuckin genius…

I smiled, "Laurent! It's gotta be Laurent. He's Victoria's boyfriend…I've seen them
all cuddled up. The three of them must be in it together. James has the money,
Victoria's the cover, and Laurent houses the shit…that's gotta be it."

He looked over at me with a frown on that beautiful face, "How are we going to
even go about finding out if he's the one?"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him up, "Let's go home."

We went home and it wasn't that hard to find him on the internet, 'Laurent
Xavier.' I found his address and told Edward I was sneaking out to his house tonight.
Edward went with me and we found his house in the slums of Forks, which were still
pretty damn nice if you ask me.

We just hid in the alley behind his house and watched. Victoria was already there
and not long after, James showed up. We couldn't see much from where we hid but
we could hear music playing and laughing.

On our way back home, I called Alice.

"Hey Jazzy. What's up?"

"Ali, can you talk to Jane and ask her if a tall black guy with long dreads and a
redhead ever hang out at the club with James?"

She spoke, "Sure, she's here…hold on a sec."

A moment later she spoke again, "She said they come in all the time. Why?"

"Just ask her to call me the next time all three of them are together at the bar and
hanging out for awhile. Give her my number, okay?"

She sighed, "Sure, Jazz. Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

I smiled, "I'll tell you guys all about it on Saturday night, okay?"

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye, Ali. Thanks."

- 425 -
 I hung up and Edward and I made our way back home.

The rest of the week passed pretty slowly. Tommy left and we told him we'd come
visit him on Sunday. Technically, only family was allowed but Carlisle had pulled
some strings for us. He was not doing well about the whole thing but I promised him
that things were gonna be okay and I always kept my promises.

On Friday night, I was in bed when I got a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Jasper? It's Jane. They're all here and they just ordered a ton of booze so I
imagine they're going to be here for awhile."

I jumped up outta bed, "Okay, will you call me when they leave?"

"Sure. Be careful, Jasper."

"I will. Thanks, Jane."

I pulled on some black jeans and a black hoodie. I crept down to Edward's room. I
really didn't wanna involve him in this but this was last minute and I needed him.

I sat down next to him and whispered, "Edward? Baby, wake up…"

He rolled over and opened his sleepy eyes, "What's wrong, Jay?"

I whispered, "They're all at the club. I'm headin to Laurent's house and I need a
look out."

He nodded and jumped up, getting dressed in all black too.

Fuck, he's sexy…

It was well after midnight when we got to the dark house. I told Edward to stay
hidden in the alley where he could keep an eye out on both the front porch and
back.

I whispered as I pulled on my gloves, "Do not…for any fuckin reason…come inside

this house. I don't know if there's an alarm or anything so be ready to fuckin run if
need be. If you see anything, call my phone."

- 426 -
 He nodded and he looked like he wanted to throw up, "Please be careful."

I kissed him gently, "I will, babe. Just stay outta sight and if anything goes wrong,
fuckin run. Understand?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

I crept up to the back of the house. Luckily, the house was pretty fuckin ghetto
and a criminal's wet fuckin dream cuz when I went to the kitchen window, the
screen was already a little fucked and the wood around the window frame was
already marred and splintered.

I easily popped the screen out and with the box cutter I brought, I was able to peel
away the paint that was holding the damn window closed. It took some elbow grease
and some time, but finally the window gave and I was able to push it open.

I crawled in and a minute later, I was standing in the dark kitchen. I pulled out the
small flashlight I had and shined it down to the ground so that no one could see it
through the windows. I quickly made my way through the small house and saw
nothing out of the ordinary, but on my way back through the kitchen, I saw a
basement door.

I made my way down the dark stairs into the basement and then I saw some
computers and bookshelves. As I first went through the shelves, I didn't find
anything but finally, I found some burned DVD's with different names of boys on
them. I grabbed two and shoved them in my hoodie pocket. As I looked through
them, I noticed one that said 'Tommy McCarty.' I grabbed it too.

Then I saw some photo albums. I opened them up and did find some pictures that
were very sexual in nature and that clearly showed faces in them. I just grabbed a
few and put the rest back. I put everything back where I found it, except for the few
things that I took.

I quickly made my way back upstairs and checked around to make sure I didn't
leave any traces that I was there. I crawled back out the window and kicked some
dirt over the peeled paint shavings that laid on the ground. I popped the screen back
in and ran back out to the alley.

Edward let out a huge sigh and threw his arms around my neck, "Oh, thank
God…"

I hugged him back for a moment before we took off towards home. I told him what
- 427 -
I found and he was shocked that I actually found something.

I watched him climb up his tree and through his window and then I did the same.
As I was crawling through, I saw him lock his door and turn to me. The second my
feet touched his floor, his lips were against mine.

His tongue wasted no time as I parted my lips to him. His hands were holding my
face to him with a strong grip as the boy kissed me with everything he had. I
couldn't stop the moan that escaped my throat into his eager mouth.

I held his face too as I kissed him back, wild and anxious and never getting
enough of his taste.

I began walking him backwards towards his bed as his hands went to my belt and
made quick work of unbuckling it and pulling it through the loops. The second he
dropped it to the floor, his hands were at the bottom of my hoodie, pulling it up
quickly over my head.

I pulled away from his delicious mouth only long enough to remove the hoodie
before I attacked his lips again. I yanked his sweatshirt over his head quickly and he
returned his mouth to mine this time, just as feverishly.

We were kicking off our shoes as we made our way back to his bed. When the
back of his knees hit the bed, we both went tumbling down. We rolled around
kissing and sucking and nipping at one another, fighting for dominance. I fuckin
loved it when he took control so eventually I ceased and let him have it.

His hard body was lying on mine and I groaned as he began kissing and sucking
and biting on my neck hard…I was sure there was gonna be some marks and I was
writhing underneath him.

While he attacked my neck, his hands went to my jeans and undid them like a
fuckin pro. He lifted for a moment and stared down at me as his hands yanked my
jeans down my legs and completely off.

He smiled that crooked smile when he saw that I was going commando. I watched
as he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans while straddling my lap. Now it was my
turn to smile as he slid them down over his hips and I saw that he had forgone
boxers too.

His cock sprang forth, all big and hard and just fuckin callin to me. I wrapped my
hand around him and he moaned as he fell back on top of me and continued his
- 428 -
assault on my neck. I stroked him hard and fast, just unable to control myself.

Finally, he pulled my hand away and smiled as his hand went down my body,
along my shaft, and to my balls as he cupped and massaged them gently. I was
writhing again and when his fingers trailed down even further and started stroking
that skin between my balls and my ass, my eyes closed and I moaned loudly before
his mouth covered mine and swallowed the sound.

I don't know why that felt so damn good, but it fuckin did. He raised up as he
stroked me still and he was killin me with that sexy grin and those fuckin hooded
eyes. He whispered, "Can I touch you…here, Jay?" and his fingers glided softly over
my ass.

I couldn't control my hips as they bucked up for him, wanting more. I nodded,
really unable to verbalize anything at that moment.

I closed my eyes and waited for his finger to enter me, knowing that it would
probably hurt a little. But instead I felt his weight shift as he slid down my body.

I opened my eyes and looked down at him as he began sucking and kissing along
my stomach, going further down with each kiss. I managed to get out a breathy, "I
thought you was gonna touch me…"

He smiled up at me and whispered, "Oh, I am, Love but I didn't say anything about
my fingers. I'm going to use my tongue."

Well fuck me sideways…Edward Cullen is about to lick my ass…

I had never had this done before and wasn't sure of how it would feel but I was
fuckin ready to find out and pretty damn excited about the whole thing. His body
settled between my legs and I moaned as he took my throbbing cock in his warm
wet mouth a few times before traveling further south. He sucked on my balls gently
and then licked down from underneath them to my hole.

As his hot tongue began licking my hole and his hand was stroking my dick…I was
biting my lip to keep quiet. He was doing it really soft, I guess getting used to this
new thing he was doing. It felt really fuckin good.

Then he shifted again and held onto the backs of my thighs with his hands as I felt
his hot wet tongue actually go inside my ass a little.

And with that, my voice raised a couple of octaves as I started whimpering like a
- 429 -
god damn girl. I heard him giggle and I managed to get out a very strained, "That's
alright, Eddie…you're next. I'll have you singin like a fuckin soprano."

He giggled again and tightened his grip on my thighs and then…Edward started
fuckin me with his tongue.

My body was experiencing all kinds of new sensations and I was incoherent at the
pure ecstasy I was feelin. Who woulda thought that getting your ass tongued would
feel so fuckin good?

My cock was straining, it was so fuckin hard as it was now bouncing against my
stomach. Edward took even more control and started moving my ass back and forth
quickly as his tongue slipped in and out.

I reached down and grabbed my cock and started pumping it hard and fast to
match his thrusts. My eyes were closed tight and I was bitin my lip to keep me from
fuckin screaming.

Then his tongue was gone and he pushed my hands away as he took my dick back
into that heavenly fuckin mouth. I felt his fingers trailing down again and circling
my hole.

He was drivin me fuckin insane and I had to grab a pillow and bite the fucker as I
screamed "Fuck!"

He lifted his head and I know the fucker was smirking. I pulled the pillow away,
breathing heavy and completely at his fuckin mercy…yeah, he was smirking.

"Not yet, Love, but we'll fuck as soon as you're ready. All you have to do is ask,
Jay."

I wanted to scream out for him to just fuckin fuck me already god damn it! But I
didn't, I really did wanna wait. As pathetic as it may sound…I wanted it to be special
and fuckin perfect.

I was staring into his bright green eyes and he smiled softly at me. I couldn't help
but smile back. He whispered as his finger started to press a little harder against
me, "Is this okay?'

I nodded, still unable to really speak. He whispered again, "Tell me if you want me
to stop, okay?"

- 430 -
 I nodded again and grabbed the pillow again. His mouth slid down around my
cock again as his finger slipped inside me. I held onto that pillow tight with my face
buried cuz I wasn't exactly sure what kinda sounds I might make.

Only the tip was in at first but then slowly he started to push it further inside me.
It didn't really hurt. It felt a little weird but not bad.

He was moving his finger slowly and gently in and out of me and the whole fuckin
thing was pretty damn erotic. He pulled away from my cock as I started moving
against him, taking his long, slender finger inside me more and more.

He whispered in shallow breaths, "Are you okay?"

I pulled the pillow away and panted, "Fuck yeah, baby…don't stop…"

He whispered again, "Um…can I add another finger?"

I threw the pillow off the bed and laid there with my arms outstretched to my
sides, panting and gripping onto the sheets. I moaned out, "Yeah, darlin…I'm fuckin
yours…do whatever the fuck you wanna do…"

He was watching my face as he slowly slid another finger in. This time it hurt a
little and I winced. He whispered, "Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head and grabbed his hair, "Just fuckin kiss me, baby…please…"

His lips came to mine and I could taste my own saltiness on his tongue. His two
fingers pumped in and out of me slowly and then, he hit some fuckin spot that made
me roll to my side and throw my leg up over his hips to just get more of him.

I moaned deeply into his mouth as my arms wrapped tight around his neck. He
broke the kiss and smiled as he breathed out, "You like that, baby?"

I just nodded furiously and my damn voice raised an octave again as I whimpered,
"Do that again…"

I buried my head in the crook of his shoulder as his free arm wrapped around my
back and held onto me. He was pumping those fingers a little harder now and
hitting some damn sweet spot that had me seeing fuckin stars. I was moving my
body to meet his fingers now and my cock was rubbing against his hard cock. I was
in fuckin heaven.

- 431 -
 My body clenched around his fingers and my stomach tightened as I erupted
against his stomach and cock. I couldn't even speak when I came. My mouth was
open but no sound came out. My body shook and trembled as wave after wave of
pleasure ripped through me until I collapsed against the bed, panting, sweating, and
quivering.

Edward touched my stomach and I couldn't take it as I shook, "Ah…give me a

second, babe."

He giggled as I had to recover for a minute. Finally I looked over at him and
smiled, "How the hell did you learn to do that, Eddie?"

The little fucker actually blushed and my dick started getting hard again,
"Um…research."

I sat up on my elbow, "Research?"

He smiled as his cheeks got redder, "Yeah…um…porn, okay. I've been watching
porn on the internet."

I had to cover my mouth to stifle the laugh…cuz the thought of Edward watching
porn on the internet was funny but really fuckin hot too and I immediately made a
mental note to watch it with him sometime.

He pushed my shoulder and rolled his eyes, "Don't laugh, asshole. I was doing it
for us…ya know, planning for when we…um…ya know."

I smiled and brushed my fingers along his cheek and into his hair. I gripped it
between my fingers and pulled him to me. My mouth went to his ear and I
whispered, "For when we fuck, Edward?"

He moaned and sighed, "Yeah."

I pushed him onto his back and crawled on top of him. He still hadn't came yet but
I was gonna take care of that real soon.

I was straddling his lap and could feel his cock throbbing between my ass cheeks.
I was still slippery down there from Edward's tongue and my nut so I slowly started
moving myself up and down on his hard shaft.

He moaned and grabbed my hips, digging his fingers into them. I held onto his
shoulders as I glided up and down along his hard cock. Fuck, this was turning me
- 432 -
on, something fierce again.

I whispered, "Is this how you want me, Edward? Or would you rather be on top?"

His back arched and he groaned, "Oh God Jasper…I don't fucking care…I just
want you…I'll take you however I can get you…"

I leaned down to his ear and nibbled it a bit before I whispered, "Soon, baby…real
fuckin soon…"

- 433 -
 Chapter 23

What If This Storm Ends (Part One of The Lightening Strike) by Snow
Patrol, McFearless by Kings of Leon

Links are on my you tube for these songs.

Edward's POV

I looked up into Jasper's deep blue eyes as he whispered, "Is this how you want
me, Edward? Or would you rather be on top?"

My cock was sliding against his ass and my back arched as I groaned, "Oh God
Jasper…I don't fucking care…I just want you…I'll take you however I can get you…"

He leaned down to my ear and nibbled it a bit before he whispered, "Soon,

baby…real fuckin soon…"

I shivered as goose bumps erupted along my skin from those words.

Soon I'll have all of him…every inch…

He pulled away from my ear and brought his face just inches from mine. I felt his
shallow breath fan across me and the look of desire in his midnight eyes was
maddening. He whispered, "Can I touch you like that, Edward? Can I taste you?"

I nodded slightly, "But Jay, you don't have to just because I did…"

He smiled and whispered, "Fuck, Edward…I honestly didn't even ever think of that
before or I woulda done that to you ages ago. I ain't ever felt like that before. I
wanna make you feel how good you made me feel."

I gulped, suddenly a little nervous, as I whispered, "Okay, Jay."

His lips brushed mine softly as he whispered, "Only tongue for now, baby…I won't
use my fingers unless you really want me to. I understand if you don't, darlin and
you know I won't be mad, okay?"

I smiled now and whispered, "I know, Love. We'll go slow."

- 434 -
 He pulled away with a soft smile and whispered, "I love you, Edward."

A deep burn resonated from my chest from the way he made me feel, "I love you
too, Jasper."

He slowly started working his way down my body, licking and kissing and sucking
my heated skin softly, reverently.

His hands rubbed and massaged my muscles as he went until my body was so
relaxed that I just closed my eyes and let any inhibitions I had slip away.

I felt his hot breath at the tip of my cock and I moaned softly as he licked and
sucked the head gently before taking me into his mouth completely. His tongue and
lips and mouth was such a soft contrast to my throbbing rigid shaft and I moaned
from the sensation.

I swear his mouth was made for my cock…

He took me in his warm wet mouth a few times and then wrapped his hand around
it, softly tugging at the soft skin over the hardness. I closed my eyes when I felt his
hot breath on my balls as he sucked them gently before moving down.

I tensed a little until I felt his hands slowly massaging my thighs and he
whispered, "If you wanna stop, baby…just say the word."

I shook my head and my voice caught when I said, "I don't want to stop, Jay."

Then I heard him laugh softly, "Um…Edward? I have no idea what I'm doin so if I
do something wrong, tell me."

I laughed softly now and breathed out, "Ah…the student becomes the teacher…"

He sighed and whispered, "You've taught me more than you'll ever know, Edward.
Just relax, darlin."

I took a deep breath and when I felt his honey tongue reach out and lick my
puckered hole, a shiver of pleasure ran through my body and I gasped. He giggled,
"Just wait, darlin…it gets even better."

I gripped the sheets underneath my hands as his tongue began moving up and
down, swirling around and gently curling through until I felt the tip of it slip inside.

- 435 -
 I know they said this felt good on the internet but damn…

I moaned loudly and grabbed the pillow he used to stifle it. It smelled like him. His
hands pushed my thighs up until I was spread open wide for him and even in this
precarious position, I couldn't be embarrassed because the pleasure was just too
intense.

He used his position of his hands to rock my hips gently back and forth as his
tongue brought the most overwhelming ecstasy. I couldn't stop myself from reaching
down and wrapping my hand around my cock and stroking it tentatively. The
pleasure from both ends was earth shattering and this time, I bit the pillow.

And even though I was still a little nervous, I knew I wanted to feel his fingers the
way he had felt mine. He must've read my mind because he lifted up and engulfed
my cock in his mouth again as my body arched and I threw the pillow to the side to
watch him. There was just nothing more beautiful than my golden haired, blue eyed
angel with my cock in his mouth.

His fingers started rubbing my balls gently and then slipped down further to circle
my hole. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes but instead, he shifted away from
me.

I opened my eyes and he was lying on his back. He wrapped his arm underneath
me and whispered, "C'mere pretty boy. You're gonna be on top so you can control
how far you wanna go. You're in charge, Eddie so don't do anything you don't wanna
do, okay?"

I was already trembling from both fear and anxiousness all at the same time but I
nodded and crawled on top of him. My legs were straddling his hips and he had
grown hard again. I looked down at him and he looked a little nervous now too.

He brought one hand to his mouth and I groaned as he licked his palm before
reaching down and taking my straining, leaky cock in his hand and pumping me firm
but slow. His eyes were dark blue again as he brought his other hand to his mouth
and sucked two fingers in, getting them dripping wet before trailing down to my ass.

I felt one finger press gently against my hole and he whispered, "Ya still wanna do
this, baby?"

I sucked in a ragged breath and nodded. He now took a breath and whispered
again, "I'm only gonna put the tip of my finger in, darlin…if you want more, you can
press down on it. Go really slow…we got all the time in the world. If you wanna stop,
- 436 -
then we will. Ready?"

I swallowed hard and nodded again. I felt the tip of his finger slowly press a little
harder until it slipped inside and I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Images and
feelings of demons past fluttered on the edge of my mind though I desperately tried
to will them away.

This is Jasper…he won't hurt you…he'll be gentle…it's not him…it's my angel…

He whispered, "Open your eyes, Edward. Keep em on me…I need to see them,
baby…please."

I opened my eyes and stared into his perfect blue eyes and golden curls that laid
on the pillow underneath fanned out like a perfect halo. He smiled softly and
whispered, "My hands are the only ones to ever touch you ever again. Do ya
remember what I said to ya the very first time I ever touched you, Edward? You're
mine now, baby and I promise to always take good care of you."

And I knew that he would.

I smiled back and whispered, "I know, Jay. I'm not scared anymore. I'm ready."

Very slowly, I started to go down on his finger, taking just a little more and
rocking my hips back and forth.

Wow…this doesn't feel bad at all…kind of strange but not bad…

His hand was still stroking my cock as it ached for release and I rode his finger
slowly, trying to get used to the intense feeling.

And then I felt his finger curve slightly and rub against what I'm guessing is my
prostate because the internet said that it feels amazing when that happens.

My mouth fell open and I gasped as I clenched his chest with my fingers, "Ugh…"
Now my voice had raised an octave just like his did and I suddenly understood what
that was all about.

He giggled, "I hit your magic spot, huh?"

His finger kept rubbing against it and I suddenly found my hips moving more
fervently against him.

- 437 -
 I tried to speak but it came out in a throaty moan, "That's…the…prostate…babe…"

He smiled as I collapsed against his chest. His hand unwrapped around my cock
and started brushing through my hair, "Prostate is way too scientific soundin,
babe…I'm callin it your magic spot."

I giggled and moaned all at the same time. Now his hard cock was rubbing against
mine as I continued moving on top of him.

I clutched at his chest as I rocked back and forth on his finger and I finally
whispered, "More, baby…"

He sighed, "It's hurts a little, darlin…"

I shook my head as the burning in my abdomen grew, "I don't care…it's worth it,
right?"

He smiled up at me, "Yeah…it's only hurts a second and then it feels real fuckin
good…ya ready?"

I felt his other wet finger at my hole and I nodded as I very slowly pushed down on
it, again rocking my hips to just take a little at a time. There was just a small flash of
slight pain but when both fingers started rubbing my "magic" spot…I had to bite his
nipple to keep from screaming out in pleasure.

Now he moaned loudly and I clamped my hand down quickly on his mouth to stifle
it.

And I started whimpering against his chest, "Oh God…I'm…I'm gonna…Ugh…"

I came hard between our stomachs and raised my hips a few more times when I
felt him cum too. He was biting his lip to keep from being too loud. We both laid
there, panting and sweating. He removed his fingers and just massaged my ass
cheeks for a minute while I recovered.

Eventually, I leaned up and kissed him quickly before rolling off of him for fear
that I might be crushing him. We were both sticky and covered in sweat. He turned
to me and smiled, "So, what brought all this on, Eddie?"

I felt my cheeks begin to burn as I whispered, "Um…I don't know…I guess, seeing
you tonight…all dressed in black and doing…um…bad things. I guess it kind of
turned me on."
- 438 -
 He laughed softly as he pulled me to him, "You really do like bad boys, huh?"

I just smiled against his chest as I cuddled up to him as my suddenly sleepy eyes
closed.

The next morning, I rolled over and instinctively felt around for Jasper. I sighed
when his warm body wasn't next to me. I did, however, feel a piece of paper.

I opened my eyes and pulled out the paper from under the pillow. I smiled as I
recognized Jasper's messy handwriting…

Hey there Sleeping Beauty. You'll find you're not all sticky this morning. I told you
I'd take care of you. As much as it went against every instinct I have, I dressed you
in some pajama pants in case your mama came in.

Now about this whole internet porn thing…can we get together tonight and do a
little research together?

I love you, Edward.

Yours forever,

Jasper

I smiled and crawled out of bed. Watching porn with Jay would be a little
embarrassing but also pretty damn hot so I was game. I tucked the note inside our
album he had made us and hid it back in my closet.

I wondered about what the plan was now that we had evidence to use against
James and his band of sicko's. Jasper said we'd all talk about it tonight at Rosalie's
house.

So, finally the evening rolled around and Emmett came and picked us up. As soon
as we got there, we started drinking. Jane had come over again but her mother was
babysitting so she was able to cut loose and have some fun.

Her and Alice were snuggled on the couch together. I was really happy for them,
they seemed to be very comfortable together and I knew how much that meant.

Jasper called everyone together and told them that we had went to Laurent's
house and gotten some video's and pictures. Em scolded us a bit for not bringing
him along but we explained that it was last minute.
- 439 -
 Brady sighed, "So, have you looked at the videos?"

Jasper shook his head, "No…haven't had the courage yet. I don't know if I really
wanna know what's on them."

Em took one of them and a bottle of Jack Daniels, "I'm going into the bedroom and
look at this. I have to know if it's good enough evidence to get those mother fuckers
put away for life."

He walked into the room and shut the door behind him. Jasper plopped down in
the recliner and pulled me onto his lap. We all waited anxiously for him to return.
Just a few minutes later he walked out, with blood shot eyes that were glossy with
unshed tears. He cleared his throat and it was husky as he spoke quietly, "It's
enough. I couldn't watch but a couple of minutes but from what I saw…these
bastards will burn in hell for what they've done."

Alice let out a breath, "Well, at least we can turn this in to the cops now and get
this over with."

Jasper held me a little tighter when he spoke, "Guys? We can't give this to the
cops…"

My head shot up as I almost screamed, "What?!"

He sighed and begin to explain, "The whole reason I got this stuff was so I would
know for sure that there was evidence to put them away but we can't be the ones to
do it. If we give those videos to the cops, they're gonna wanna know how we got
them. I committed a felony to get them and they would be thrown out of court in a
heartbeat, and I'd go to jail. I have strikes against me already, something like this
would put me away for awhile."

Brady sighed, "Well, why don't we just follow through with what we were going to
do before with Edward setting up James for drugs…"

Jasper shook his head, "That ain't gonna work no more. James and his band of
merry sicko's ain't gonna come anywhere near any of us after the cops have already
questioned him about Tommy. They're not that stupid. They might try to get one of
us alone but they wouldn't be stupid enough to fall in that trap now."

I ran my hands through my hair and tugged at the locks in frustration, "What the
hell are we going to do now, Jay?"

- 440 -
 I shivered when he smiled that wicked little smile, "Well, they wanna fuck with
us…I say we fuck with them right back. Jane, you got the cell numbers of all the
employees at the bar, right?"

She nodded as she smiled now, "Yeah…"

He laughs, "I'm gonna buy a prepaid phone and we're gonna send this video to
them. I got his parents cell numbers off the internet so they'll get it too. I imagine it
won't be too hard to find the parents of Laurent and Victoria either. Plus, I got some
pictures of James with a couple different boys. I already called his mama and
pretended to be his boyfriend so I figure I can leave these pictures in their as proof
of what their son has been doing. My guess is that they sure as hell won't be hiring
any fancy lawyer to defend him this time."

Emmett sighed, "So you think one of those people will turn him in then?"

Jasper nodded, "Yeah, at least one person outta all those people should show the
video to the cops. That should give them probable cause to search Laurent's house
since I assume he's in the video too…"

He looked over to Em who just nodded. He smiled, "Well then, all we gotta do is
sit back and wait. Like I said before though, no one goes anywhere alone until this is
all over."

We all agreed and Jay pulled out the DVD labeled 'Tommy McCarty.' He smiled
over at Em, "Wanna move this little party outside and have a bonfire?"

Em grabbed the video and we headed outside. We made a little pit in the grass
and used some liquor and Jay's lighter to make a small fire. Em threw the tape in
and we watched it burn, wishing that this simple act would burn away everything
that happened.

We finally watched the fire burn out and Rosalie huddled up to Em, "Hey, let's go
swimming…that heated pool is calling to me."

So, we all went in and changed and met out in the pool. I loved watching Jasper
swim. His body was long and lean but his muscles were well defined and just
beautiful, especially when wet. He was laughing with that amazing wide dimpled
grin and wet honey curls were bouncing around. I was leaning against the edge just
admiring him play around with Emmett and Brady when Alice, Jane, and Rose swam
up to me. Jane smirked, "Enjoying the scenery, Edward?"

- 441 -
 I sighed and probably blushed a little, "Um…yeah."

She smiled and looked at Alice in her little red polka dot bikini, "Mmm…me too."

Alice laughed and playfully splashed her.

A minute later, the rest if the guys were swimming up to us. Em pulled Rose out
and dunked her so they went to war. Brady's phone rang and he hopped out and
wrapped a towel around his waist. He flipped it open, "Hey Tommy!" Then he smiled
over at us, "I'm going to go talk with him before it's his lights out…"

We nodded and he walked away and left the pool area. I looked around for Jay and
then he popped up from underneath the water right in front of me, looking all like a
damn Greek God.

He shook his wet curls and the water droplets sprayed all over me, causing me to
giggle and shelter myself. I laughed, "Dick!"

He put his arms on either side of me and pinned me to the wall. He leaned down
and laughed softly in my ear, "You just can't get my dick off your mind you dirty
boy…"

I pulled away and smirked, "Funny…" then I slid my hands down the back of his
trunks, squeezing his ass and bringing his hips crashing into mine, "…but it's not
just your dick I can't get off my mind…it's your ass too, Jay."

He groaned softly in my ear and I felt him getting hard as he whispered mostly to
himself, "Fuck, I love aggressive Edward…" before he started kissing and nipping at
my neck.

I whispered, "Want to go do some…um…research, Jay?"

His eyes snapped to mine and they had turned a deep midnight blue, "Fuck yeah I
do…"

I can't help the crooked grin that now graces my face as we pull ourselves out of
the pool and quickly wrap towels around us to try and hide our…um…well, boners.

We tell everyone we're going to bed for the night and of course they throw out
their smart ass comments and cat calls which make me blush because they know
that we're not going to sleep.

- 442 -
 We go to "our" room and I watch as he peels off his swim shorts from his
body…admiring the way they cling to his muscular thighs. He smirks and starts to
roll them down slowly because he knows I'm watching. My breathing hitches at the
sight of his beautiful body and I lick my lips at the little drops of water that fall from
his honey curls and trail down his luscious backside.

Once he kicks them off, he gives me that wicked little grin and I bite my lip to
stifle the moan as he stands there naked and wet and fucking gorgeous. I'm unable
to move as that predatory gleam comes into his rapidly darkening eyes.

I turn to lock the door and the next thing I know, I'm being pressed against the
door and his erection is rubbing against my ass. I moan loudly as his fingers grip the
sides of my shorts and yank them roughly down my legs. I kick them off and he's
pressed against me again but this time, it's skin on skin.

His hands grip mine tightly, our knuckles turning white from the infallible hold.
He starts kissing my neck and we're both breathing heavily. And then it hits me…the
smell of whiskey from his breath and my eyes close tight.

Daddy's little boy…I love you more than you could ever know…let me show you
how much I love you…it's okay…you're daddy's good boy…

I can't help the tears that seep out from my clasped eyes as I try my best to fight
the memory away…

This is Jasper…he won't hurt you…he really does love you…you're safe…

I feel him grinding into me again and I begin trembling, just wanting this reaction
to stop because I want Jasper more than I've ever wanted anything. I want
him…want this…

And then he whispers against my neck, "I love you, baby…"

And I can't stop the sob as I cry out in a panicked whisper, "Please stop…"

He immediately stops when he realizes I'm crying and he rips his body away from
mine. I slump to the floor, keeping my eyes shut tightly and wrap my arms around
my knees as I rock back and forth. I whisper over and over as I hear the whispers
and laughter creeping in, "Please just stop…please just go away…you're not real…"

A moment later, he's wrapping a blanket around my shoulders and he's pulled on
his jeans. I'm trying to calm myself down but I just can't get the trembling and
- 443 -
rocking to stop. Everything's a little fuzzy and I know that he's speaking to me
because I can see his lips moving but everything's trapped in a hazy shroud of
hushed whispers.

I close my eyes again as he cradles me in his arms and picks me up. I hold onto
him so tight that I know I must be hurting him. I open my eyes for just a second and
see a flash of perfect white wings so I close my eyes again, reminding myself that
they're not real and this will be over soon if I can just hang on a little longer.

My angel will make it go away…

The smell of bleach and mud assaults my senses and I gasp and gag as I writhe in
his arms to try and breathe. The whispers grow louder but are still muddled and
hazy.

Then I hear it, the rain beating against the trunk and I gasp again as the warm
water hits my bare skin, cleansing me once again.

I knew he would save me…

My eyes open as I suck in air and try to gather my senses. I see that I'm sitting in
the bathtub with the shower washing over me. I turn to see Jasper standing at the
sink, brushing his teeth vigorously.

He throws the toothbrush in the sink and jumps in the tub with me, jeans and all.
He pulls me into his arms and his eyes are red and puffy, "I'm so fuckin sorry,
Edward…I should've known better…I usually drink vodka so there's no smell…and
then I fuckin attack you from the back and…I should've fuckin known…I'm so sorry"

He's rambling as I hold him tight, relishing in the familiar strength of his body
against mine, and whisper, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…"

I hear a loud banging at the door causing me to jump. Em's booming voice
resonates through the frame, "Are you guys okay?! What the hell's going on?!"

Jasper yells back, "We're okay…just give us a minute!"

His hands are on the back of my neck as his baby blue bloodshot eyes search
mine, "Edward?"

I nod and whisper again, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…"

- 444 -
 He pulls me back into a tight hug, "No more drinkin, baby…I swear I won't ever
drink again…this was my fault…"

I shake my head against his shoulder and grasp at his back, holding him as close
as I can get. My breathing is getting calmer and everything's back in focus, "It's not
your fault, please don't feel like that. I'm okay now, Jay. Really, everything's okay
now."

He cradled my face and now his honey breath washed across me with a hint of
mint, "You sure you're okay?"

I sigh and smile as his beautiful scent fills me, "Mmm…honey."

He laughed softly and sniffled, "I love you, Edward. That'll never happen again,
darlin, I swear."

I smiled and wiped my eyes, "I love you too, Jay. It really wasn't your fault."

He stood and helped me up and now I noticed that we were still in the shower and
I really wanted to take advantage of that. I looked down at his wet jeans, unbuttoned
and low on his hips with a hint of blonde hair that shown.

I whispered, "Let's you get you out of these, baby…"

My hands went to his jeans as I began tugging them down and he whispered,
"Edward…we don't have to…we really ain't gotta…"

But then I dropped to my knees with the overwhelming need to take him into my
mouth and let his honey wash away any remnants from my earlier disaster.

He moaned and gripped my hair as I wrapped my hand around his length. I

couldn't help the almost animalistic urge that overtook me as I sucked his rapidly
hardening cock into my mouth. He moaned softly, "Fuck…are you sure we should
be…ugh…oh God…so soon after what…feels so fuckin good…but…oh fuck it…suck
my dick, baby…just like that…"

I smiled, well as much as I could with his dick in my mouth, as he gave into me
and let me suck him without putting up much of a fight about it. I was on my knees
and I looked up into his dark blue eyes. The warm water was washing over our
bodies and I fixated on the way his honey curls hung down, dripping wet and
darkened from the wetness.

- 445 -
 His pink lips were slightly parted as he stared at me intently through hooded eyes,
every now and then whispering a soft, "Fuck" or low moan. His rough fingertips
pushed my damp hair from my eyes as his other hand steadied himself against the
wall of the shower.

I watched his strong chest heave in and out with each shallow breath and the
drops of water slowly cascading down the marbled perfection. He whispered,
"C'mere Edward…I wanna touch you too…"

I release his cock from my lips as his hands hold onto my arms and help me rise to
my feet. He's breathing heavily as he just looks at me for a moment, brushing his
calloused thumb softly back and forth across my cheek.

I am frozen by the intensity of his midnight eyes, staring at me with such emotion
that my heart is now beating wildly in my chest in anticipation. His hand slides down
from my cheek, along my neck, and down my chest until settling over my heart. He
smiles softly now and whispers, "I'm making your heart beat like that, ain't I?"

I smile back and am pretty sure I blush as I nod, "Yeah."

Now his smile widens and I am graced with his beautiful dimples that I love so
much. He reaches over and grabs the body wash, pouring a little in his hands and
lathering them up. Then he reaches down and takes my cock into his soapy hand
and I lean forward, resting my head against his shoulder because it feels so fucking
good.

I moan against his skin and my tongue tastes his flesh causing him to shiver. I
quickly mimic his actions with the body wash and wrap my hand around his length.
Our free hands are eagerly roaming one another's bodies and he moans loudly as I
grab his shaft and pump his hard cock slowly in my soaped up hand.

He brings his lips to mine and kisses me hungrily as I'm backed up against the
shower wall. The warm water creates a slippery wonderland for us as our bodies
slide against each other's and our hands work on one another to bring us quickly to
ecstasy.

He moans into my mouth as I feel him constrict in my hand and cums hard on my
stomach. I follow suit quickly and cover his hand and stomach with my own release.

He giggles as he pulls away, "Man…we really need to get some lube, Edward. That
felt fuckin amazing."

- 446 -
 I laugh softly too and just wrap my arms around his neck. We hold onto each other
for awhile and eventually pull away to get cleaned up. We take turns lathering one
another up and washing away the suds and then we wash each other's hair. And I
think to myself as his fingertips massage my scalp under the warm water…

I never want to take a shower without him again…

Finally, the warm water turns chilly and we hear another knock at the door
followed by Em's loud voice, "Quit jerking each other off and get the hell out here!"

We both just shake our heads and laugh as Jay turns off the shower. He hands me
a towel and then grabs one for himself. We wrap them around our waists before
opening up the door.

He grabs my hand as we walk down the hallway. Brady's door opens and he says,
"Is everything…"

He stops dead in his tracks, mouth hung open and eyes traveling from the floor up
each of us clad in only towels and still wet. He gulps and turns bright red as he
mutters, "Well hell…you could warn a guy, you know?"

Then he shuts his eyes and turns around, "Um…are you okay?"

Jasper smirks at me and I can feel my cheeks turning red. He laughs softly, "Yeah,
man…everything's okay. We're gonna go get dressed."

Brady lets out a breath while his back is still turned and stutters, "Y…yeah…that
would be…um…much appreciated."

Jasper just laughs and pulls me along but as we reach our door, Em and Alice
come running up. Alice starts going a hundred miles a minute, "Oh my God, Edward,
are you okay? It sounded like you couldn't breathe! We've been worried to death!"

I smile and kind of hide behind Jasper now as I'm feeling very awkward in this
towel, "Um…yeah, I was having…sort of a panic attack but…um…I'm okay now."

Alice lets out a breath and smiles, "Okay, Edward. I'm glad you're okay." Then she
turned and left me, Em, and Jay.

Em laughs, "Dude, I'd panic too if I had to see Jay naked!"

Jasper smirked again and drawled out, "Fuck you, dude…you'd only panic cuz
- 447 -
you'd be wonderin why your dick was so small compared to my Lochness Monster…"

Emmett grabs his junk and booms again, "Dude! I'm packing the mighty
cockasaurus here!"

Now I laugh against Jasper's shoulder and decide to help him out, "I only panicked
because I didn't know where it all would fit…"

Now they both start laughing as Em holds up his hands, "Too much information,
Edward! Jesus Christ! It's always the quiet ones you got to worry about!"

Jasper turns his head and smiles at me, "Nice."

I laugh and feel my cheeks burn hotter as I bury my face in his shoulder,
"Um…can we go to bed now?"

He turns back to Em, "We're goin to bed, man. See ya in the mornin."

Em just shakes his head and still laughs as he says good night.

Jay opens the door and lets me duck in as I'm quite embarrassed right now. He
shuts the door behind him and locks it. I feel his hands on my shoulders now, gently
massaging as he whispers, "It's just you and me now, baby…you sure you feel alright
now?"

I turn my head to look into his clear sky blue eyes, "Yeah, Jay…really, I'm fine
now. Sorry I freaked out on you."

He brings his body up against my back as he now places soft kisses on my

shoulder and whispers, "You don't have to be sorry for anything, Edward. I never
even thought about you smellin whiskey on my breath…that is what happened,
right?"

I nodded, "Yeah…but still…I was trying to fight it…I don't want you to feel like you
can't have a drink or something because of me."

He turned me around gently and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Darlin, I
don't need to drink. I only do it cuz everyone else does but honestly, all I need is
you. I ain't gonna drink no more, baby. When I drink, I forget those little things and I
don't ever wanna hurt you again cuz of it. It's not worth it. Besides, all the alcohol
and drug problems that run in my family…I'm probably better off just avoidin the
shit anyway."
- 448 -
 I smile because I think it's really sweet that he would completely give up
something he enjoys, just for me but I can't help but feel a little bad too.

He pulls me backwards to the bed until he flops down on his back and pulls me on
top of him. I laugh and bring myself up on my arms to hover above him. Then he has
a serious look on his face and whispers, "Edward? Can I talk to you about
something?"

My heart skips a beat but I nod, "Of course, Jay…anything."

He sighs and rolls me to my side so that we're face to face with our legs tangled
up and towels climbing up high on our thighs.

He brushed my hair away from my face and takes a breath, "Edward? I know you
think you're ready for sex but I gotta be honest, darlin…I just don't think you are
yet. I mean, what if we start to get into it and something happens that triggers a
panic attack or a flashback? I don't think I could handle it if that happened."

Crap! No…I was so damn close…he can't back out now…fix this, Edward…fast!

I let out the breath I was holding and run my fingers through his damp golden
curls, "Jay…I'm sorry about what happened tonight but we were both drinking and
everything was just kind of spontaneous. When we make love for the first time, it
will be planned out…I'll know what to expect and I'll be ready for it. I really do want
this, Jasper…I want you…all of you. I need you. If I have to wait much longer I might
spontaneously combust."

He laughs a little and I smile that crooked smile that usually makes him harden in
seconds. It works because I feel it against my leg. He sighs, "I just don't want you to
ever regret it, Edward. It would fuckin kill me if we did it and you regretted it cuz
something happened. I'm scared to death I'm gonna fuck this up and you only got
one shot at your first time, darlin."

I know what I need to do now to convince him that I'm ready. I need to be
aggressive and show him. So, I roll over on top of him and grind my towel clad
erection into his. He moans and I begin nipping at his throat and neck as I continue
to grind on him, "Jay…I'm ready. I need to feel your heated flesh surround me…I
need to be inside you…" I reached down and undid both of our towels so that our
skin was connected now, "I need to make love to you…make you mine forever…all
mine, Jay…no one else will ever touch you…"

He moans as his hands roam my back and I continue biting and sucking on his
- 449 -
throat and collarbone and neck as I roll my hips gently on top of him. The feel of our
cocks trapped between our hard stomachs and hot skin is driving me crazy and I
can't wait to feel him from the inside.

It doesn't take long until we're rolling around, once again, fighting for dominance.
He quickly rolls us over until he is on top. He's grinding his hips hard against me as
he bites my neck and I whimper in delight. But he still hasn't said anything about
what we were talking about so I try to use reverse psychology.

I whisper in shallow breaths, "Don't you want me, Jay? Don't you want to fuck
me?"

He growls against my neck and bites again, "You know I fuckin want you,
Edward…I wanna fuck you so bad I can barely fuckin stand it…"

I moan out as his hipbone hits mine and his teeth bite into my neck and creates a
wonderful mixture pleasure and pain, "Then do it, Jay…fuck me, baby…"

He raises up and stares at me with hooded midnight eyes, "Ya really want me,
Edward? Right now?"

I nod vehemently, "Yes. Please, Jay…"

I watch as he licks his palm and grabs his thick, hard cock.

Wow…it's really…um…big…

I gulp when he positions it at my entrance and starts rubbing it against my ass,

"Ya ready, Edward?"

Shit…I didn't really think he'd do it right now…do I want this right now?

I feel him press a little harder against me and I jump, "Wait! Uh…maybe now isn't
the right time!"

He laughs and rolls over onto his back, "Fuckin tease."

I roll to my side, "I'm sorry, Jay…I really do want to but…um…ya know, lube and
stuff and um, research?"

He smiles and brushes his fingertips across my cheek, "Edward, I wasn't really
gonna do it. Nice try though…the whole 'you don't want me' thing was pretty
- 450 -
creative."

I furrow my brows and scowl, "You were teasing me?"

He laughs again as I glare at him, "Aww…baby, don't be mad. I know we need to

do some research but I know enough to realize we need lube. We'll go tomorrow and
buy some, okay?"

I sigh and curl up into his chest as he plays with my hair, "Okay. But we are going
to make love soon, right?"

He whispers, "Soon, darlin."

I turn my face up to his and smile, "So, um…want to do that 69 thing?"

He laughs softly, "Yeah, baby. Want top or bottom?"

I smile back, "Side to side."

The next morning Em drives us to Seattle early in the morning and we drop those
pictures of James in his parent's mailbox. We then stop at a drug store to get a
prepaid phone and some…um…lube.

Once again, I bury my face in Jasper's shoulder as he looks at the huge amount of
lube on the shelf. His head is cocked to the side and he whispers, "Who the fuck
woulda thought there'd be so many? Which one do I get?"

I can feel my cheeks burning as I continue to hide my face, "I don't know…just
pick something."

Emmett then walks down the aisle, "Holy shit! So you're finally gonna pop your
man cherries, huh? Good for you!"

I turn and whisper harshly, "Emmet! Shut the hell up!"

He claps his hand on my back and laughs, "Why are you embarrassed, Edward? I
guess you finally figured out where it would all fit!"

I groan and Jasper is laughing his ass off.

- 451 -
 Asshole.

Emmett grabs a box of condoms and Jasper finally grabs a bottle from the shelf
and I excuse myself to wait out in the car because I don't think I can actually face
the woman at the counter.

I watch them come out and now Emmett is bright red. When they get in the car,
Emmett mutters, "Don't say a fucking word, Jay."

Jasper is, again, laughing so hard that he has to wipe the tears from his eyes. I
smile, "What's so funny?"

He can barely get out, "The woman thought me and Em were together! He tried to
deny it and I slapped his arm and told him that if he was embarrassed to be with me
then I was never gonna fuck him like he's been begging me too!"

Emmett scowled, "Dude! That was not funny!"

Now I'm laughing, "You deserved that, Em…"

Jasper smiles over at him and shrugs, "Hey bro, payback's a bitch. You
embarrassed my boyfriend so I embarrassed you."

He turns the car on and mutters again, "Asshole."

He's not really mad and things are back to normal as we drive back home. He
drops us off at home and I gasp as I see my dad in the driveway on a brand new
motorcycle.

Jay runs up to him, "Holy sh…crap! Is that a Ducati?"

Dad smiles, "Yep. I bought it off a guy at work. Do you like it?"

Jasper runs his finger down the sleek black motorcycle and slyly adjusts himself,
"You took that whole 'Big Daddy C' thing to heart, huh man? This bike is sick."

Dad laughs, "It is pretty sick, huh? I thought since you finished your bike and
you're about to get your license…that maybe we could go riding together this
summer."

Jasper smiles that wide dimpled grin, "Hell yeah, Carlisle. Although my bike will
look like crap next to this one."
- 452 -
 Dad shrugs, "Maybe if you ace your classes and your driving test…maybe I'll let
you drive it sometime."

Jasper's whole face lights up, "Really?"

Dad nods and pulls his helmet on, "Yep, really." Just then mom comes running out
of the house in a pair of skin tight jeans and a leather jacket.

I furrow my brows, "Mom?"

She smiles, "Oh, hi sweetie! Your dad and I are going for a drive on his new bike!
Isn't it pretty? Don't wait up!"

She hops on behind him and he hands her a helmet, "Yeah boys…and
remember…"

I roll my eyes, "Oh, so you and mom get to go joyriding and we're stuck here being
good?"

He sighs and rolls his eyes right back, "If you ever have children, son…you'll
understand. Now be good!"

I smile and fake salute, "Yes sir."

He smirks, "Smart ass. Jasper, keep him in line."

I scoff and Jay smiles as he wraps his arm around my shoulder, "I'll try,
Carlisle…you know how much of a trouble maker he can be…"

Now I scoff at Jay and dad smiles as he revs up the engine, "I know, son…just do
the best you can."

Jasper's laughing again as I fold my arms across my chest and huff, "I'm the good
one."

Dad and mom wave as they race out of the garage. Jay turns to me and smiles,
"So, you naughty boy…wanna go watch porn?"

I smirk, "And my dad thinks I'm the one who needs watched."

We go up to my room and he plops down in my computer chair, "C'mon

babe…have a seat and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up."
- 453 -
 I smirk and roll my eyes as I sit on his lap, "Funny."

He laughs and I log on quickly and go to my favorites. He gasps, "Dude? You have
this shit bookmarked?"

My cheeks begin to burn, "Um…yeah. Just these two guys…they're my favorite."

I click on the link to my favorite video I found of two blonde haired, blue eyed
boys. They're pretty hot, not nearly as hot as Jay, but then again, who is?

We start to watch as they lie on their bed kissing passionately and rubbing all over
one another.

Jay gulps slightly, "Um…Edward?"

I turn my face to his, "Yeah?"

Now his cheeks are starting to turn pink, "Do you…um…do you think these guys
are hot?"

I nod, "Yeah…don't you?"

He shrugs, "They're good looking. Do you think they're better looking than me?"

I laugh as I lean down and kiss his forehead, "Not a chance, babe. Are you
jealous?"

He shrugs again, "Um…no…but…why do you have them bookmarked? Do you

watch this a lot?"

I smile now because it's obvious that he is jealous, "When I

started…um…researching, I went through, like, ten sites but they were all kind of
gross and freaked me out. I found this one because it said that they were boyfriends
and so I thought that maybe the intimacy would be better. It really is a whole lot
better. You see how loving and gentle they are with each other?"

He nods and I continue, "Well, the other sites I looked at…the guys just…it wasn't
sexy, ya know? They didn't seem like they even really liked each other and some of
them were old or hairy…it was just…nasty. But I found these guys and they're cute
and they act like boyfriends so I liked it."

He smiles now, "Okay, babe…I get it."

- 454 -
 I turn back to the screen now as the longer haired blonde is giving the other one a
blow job. We watch for a few minutes and I feel Jay start to harden beneath me.
Then he whispers, "Edward?"

I turn to look at him, "Yeah?"

"Why'dja start watching porn? Am I not doing something right?"

I laugh now, "Jasper? I can't believe you're jealous that I'm watching porn. Like I
said before, I watched it to learn stuff. You do everything right. I mean, why do you
watch porn?"

His cheeks really turn pink now, "Um…I've never watched porn before, Edward."

Now I'm shocked as I turn my whole body on his lap to face him, "Really? But
you've done so much and…I don't understand."

He sighs and runs a hand through his blonde curls, "I don't know. I guess…I never
really wanted to do any of this stuff before you, Edward. I mean, I know I have done
a lot but only cuz I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I never really
wanted anyone before you. I guess what I'm tryin to say is…I didn't really like sex
that much before you so I just wasn't that interested."

Now I feel kind of bad for him. His whole sexual outlook was just as screwed up as
mine was…well, before he came along anyway. So I smiled, "Well, do you like it?"

He smiles now, "Yeah…they're not nearly as sexy as you but…it's kinda hot, I
guess."

We turn our attention back to the screen as the two boys are now doing 69. His
hand is at the hem of my shirt, rubbing softly as it moves it way underneath and
begins caressing my stomach. My arm is around his shoulders and my hand is
playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

The longer haired boy is now lubing up his fingers and stretching his boyfriend to
get him ready. Jay whispers, "So I guess we do that for awhile with our fingers first?
Does that help?"

Like I'm Dr. Ruth…

I shrug, "I don't know…I guess it helps…from what I've read anyway."

- 455 -
 He turns to me again, "So you've read stuff too?"

I smile, "Um…yeah. Blame it on dad and his whole 'anal preparation' speech. I just
want to make sure we do this right, Jay. I mean, you're going to be on the receiving
end first and I don't want to hurt you…I want it to feel good to you too."

He smiles, "That guy looks like it feels pretty damn good."

I turn back to the screen and see the long haired boy is now making love to the
other one. His legs are up on his shoulders and he's jerking himself off as they kiss.
The one on top stops a few times to add more lube so I figure that's pretty important
too.

Jay is now rock hard beneath me and I'm just as hard against my stomach. I feel
Jasper's hands pushing up my t-shirt so I raise my arms to let him take it off. He
drops it to the floor and I reach down to pull his off.

Then his hands are at my jeans, popping open the button and pulling down the
zipper. His fingers reach into my boxer briefs and grasp my hard cock. He whispers
in my ear, "Wanna try out that lube?"

I nod and stand up, pulling him over to the bed as we both begin tearing off the
remainder of each other's clothes until we fall on the bed kissing and naked. He
leans over to the nightstand and grabs the lube.

Then he grabs his phone and smiles, "Can I make a movie of you, Edward?"

My cheeks burn as I stutter, "Um…huh?"

He smiles, "C'mon, babe. I can lock the video so no one sees it…but if I wanna
watch porn…I'd rather see you. Please?"

Damn Jasper and those baby blue puppy dog eyes and that damn pink pouty lip…

I sigh, "Okay, Jay."

His face lights up, "Really?"

I nod, "Yeah just please make sure that no one can see it."

He smiles as he flips through his phone and starts recording, "I promise, baby. I
love you, Edward."
- 456 -
 I smile, "I love you too, Jasper."

I sit up on my elbows as I watch him pour a little lube on his hand. Then he
reaches down and takes my cock in his hand and I jump, "Holy shit that's cold!"

He laughs, "Shit, man…sorry."

I laugh and grab the bottle and pour a little into my hand, rubbing my palms
together to warm it up before grabbing his cock.

The slick feeling of the lube is incredible and I think he agrees. He's on his knees,
between my legs stroking me and I'm on my back, up on my elbows pumping him.
Both of our heads fall back as we moan and pull at the taut skin with a viciousness.
He's still holding onto that phone and recording my every move…but I think it's kind
of sexy and sweet that he'd rather watch me than some random guys on the internet.

He leans over top of me as his eyes close and his beautiful face twists with
pleasure. I can feel the burning all the way in my toes and the sight of him in ecstasy
above me, quickly brings me over the edge.

I moan as I throw my head back into the pillow and cum all over his hand and our
stomachs. His phone is still watching my face as he breaths out, "Fuckin beautiful…"

His release quickly follows and he collapses on top of me, breathing heavily. He
holds his camera out to the side so that it can record both of our faces. He smiles,
"Say something nice for me, baby…so I can jerk off to this later."

I laugh and look into the camera, "That's right, baby…I'm Edward fucking Cullen
and I fucking own you. Don't forget it…I love you, Jay."

He laughs, "Yeah, you fuckin own me, Eddie. I love you too."

The next day we get up and go to school. Jay had sent the video of James out to a
whole hell of a lot of people and then we burned the phone and receipt. I had an
uneasy feeling in my stomach all day but managed to make it through school.

At the end of the day, me, Rose, Em, and Jay walked out to Em's car to find that all
four tires were slashed. Alice was being picked up by Jane and Gracie when they
saw us. They stopped and Jane sighed, "Shit. I wasn't at work last night but I heard
it was pretty brutal. I just know James is behind this."

- 457 -
 Alice sighed, "Well, Edward and Jasper live closer so why don't we give them a
ride home and then come back and pick up Rose and Em?"

She smiled, "Sure, hop in boys. We'll be back in a few minutes."

I sat on one side of Gracie as Jay sat on the other. She was babbling about daycare
and cookies as we made our way home.

Suddenly, Jane slammed on the breaks and yelled, "Shit!"

I looked ahead and saw a black sedan had pulled out right in front of her and
stopped. I watched as James got out of the car. Jane quickly threw it in reverse, only
to slam into the car that had parked behind her. Laurent got out of that one, along
with Victoria and another man I didn't recognize.

Jane was hysterical, "Gracie! Is she okay?"

Gracie was laughing and wanted to do it again but panic had settled in. Jasper
looked at Alice, "Call Em…stay in the car with that baby! Do not get out of the fuckin
car!"

Then he jumped out and I quickly jumped out on my side. James, Laurent, and the
unknown man were calmly walking over to us with evil smirk's on their faces and
Jasper whispered, "Start swinging, Eddie."

Then he just leapt at James and hit him in the jaw with everything he had, sending
them both to the ground. I turned and hit the first person within reach, Laurent. He
stumbled back a few times but then rushed at me and knocked us both to the
ground. I saw Jasper and James rolling around and beating the hell out of each other
but I couldn't look long when I felt a right hook to my cheek.

My head jerked as Laurent grabbed me and I quickly kneed him in the balls and
just started hitting back. I was panicking because we were struggling and I couldn't
keep an eye on Jasper.

I saw Victoria pull Jane from the car and heard Gracie screaming. Alice then
jumped out and jumped on Victoria's back. I saw Jane land a good punch to the red
head's eye but then I got the wind knocked out of me as the unknown man kicked
me in my stomach.

I heaved as my chest constricted. I was able to see Jasper for a moment and he
had James pinned against the black sedan, beating the shit out of him.
- 458 -
 I saw the unknown man run up behind him and with every bit of breath I could
muster I yelled, "Jay, behind you!"

Jasper ducked before he even turned and the punch meant for him went wildly
through the air. He lunged at the guy and knocked him to the ground. Laurent was a
hell of a lot bigger and bulkier than me and I didn't know how many more hits I
could take. I couldn't get a good hit on him.

Then I remembered Jasper's words about using whatever was around and to not
fight fair in a street fight. We were on the ground by Jane's car and the door was
open. I lifted my legs and kicked him in the stomach with everything I had. He went
flying backwards and landed between the door and the seat so then I kicked the
door shut as hard as I could.

He screamed out as the door slammed against his legs and flew back open…so I
kicked it again and he screamed once more, falling to the ground.

I scrambled to my feet and saw the man on top of Jasper, they were exchanging
punches but he didn't see me come up behind him. I was holding my ribs that ached
like hell and I feared that I couldn't get enough wind to hit or kick him, so I pulled
off my belt and wrapped it tightly in my hands before quickly putting it over his head
and wrapping it around his neck.

I held as tight as I could so Jay could knock the fucker's teeth out. He started
hitting him over and over until I collapsed from exhaustion and the man collapsed
too. I saw Jane stomping on Victoria with her high heeled shoe as she screamed out,
"This may hurt just a little you fucking bitch!"

It was then that I noticed the cops. They had pulled up and jumped out of their
cars. Jasper was still punching the man on the ground until one of the cops tackled
him to the ground and cuffed him.

Everything was blurry as I saw two cops pull Jay up to his feet and slam him
against the hood of one of the cars. I tried to get up and say something but I had no
air left. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as I watched them frisk him and then
throw him into the back seat of their car.

The last thing I remember is seeing his beautiful face, all bloodied as he mouthed,
"I'm sorry…" through the window of the police car.

Then everything went black.

- 459 -
 I know you guys hate me right now…but leave me some love
anyway…please?

- 460 -
 Chapter 24

First…I live in Indiana so GO COLTS!

Second, I have a story to recommend. It's fuckin amazing! It's an all vamp
E/J fic called 'Secrets and Lies' by Athey. It's in my favorites. The emotions
this woman catches in this fic are just incredible. I'm loving it hard so go
check it out.

Third, another big thanks to Mia for drawing another beautiful pic of my
boys! I'm trying to get it uploaded as my new avatar so keep an eye out! You
rock!

Songs are in my you tube…link is on my profile…

Playlist: In One Ear by Cage the Elephant, Make This Go On Forever by

Snow Patrol, Run by Snow Patrol, Nothing Man by Pearl Jam, Hold Me In
Your Arms by The Black Keys, and Home by Nine Inch Nails

Jasper's POV

The second I jumped outta that car, my mind was in overdrive. I didn't know what
these mother fuckers were gonna try but I sure as fuck knew I wasn't gonna wait
around and find out. I didn't want Edward in this shit. These were grown fuckin men
and he wasn't that experienced of a fighter yet but what fuckin choice did I have?
I'm one bad mother fucker but even I ain't stupid enough to think I can whoop all
three of these fuckers by myself. So I brace myself, man the fuck up, and whisper,
"Start swingin, Eddie."

I couldn't tell ya much of what happened during the fight cuz my mind was just
gone, lost in a hazy cloud of rage and hate for…well, just fuckin everything. I took all
the anger I had for these sick fucks and just let it fuckin go when I started swingin.

And I was pissed as hell about a whole lotta shit…

For what this fucker did to my baby boy…

For what he thought he was gonna do to him…

For what he put Tommy through…

- 461 -
 For what that did to Em…

For makin me chase his fuckin ass down and commit another god damn felony to
trip his ass up…

For outing us…

For fuckin breathin…

It was a fuckin struggle cuz James ain't no little guy but when I looked over and
saw Laurent holdin Eddie down while the unknown fucker kicked him in his fuckin
stomach…I knew I had to get James down and fuckin quick so I could get to him.

I don't remember how I got him pinned against the car but it was all over for him
at this point. Just as I was getting ready to go to Eddie I heard him yell out, "Jay,
behind you!"

I ducked on instinct as I turned and just lunged at the fucker. This mother fucker
was not easy to take down. Before I could even get more than a few good hits in, I
was on my fuckin back just fightin back with every fuckin thing I had.

At least the good thing was, I wasn't feelin no pain.

I saw Edward kick a car door on Laurent's legs and I was so fuckin relieved that
he was able to put the fucker down. Thank God I taught him how to fight when I did.

He was holdin his ribs and I was almost positive they were broken cuz he was
struggling to breathe. And I was scared when I saw him struggle to his feet and start
to come over for me.

Thankfully, he musta knew that he wasn't in no shape to fight anymore cuz I

watched him pull out his belt and wrap it in his hands before he wrapped it around
the fucker's neck.

This pulled him back enough that I was finally able to get the upper hand so I just
started knockin the fucker's teeth down his god damn throat. I watched Edward
finally collapse to the ground, takin the mother fucker with him…but I couldn't stop
myself from still hittin him just to make sure he was down for fuckin good.

I didn't register the red and blue lights or the sirens when I was thrown face down
on the ground…but when I felt that god damn steel around my wrist, I fuckin knew
then.
- 462 -
 When the fuckin pigs yanked me up to my feet, I started feelin the god damn pain
then. My whole fuckin body hurt but nothing was broken. Then these assholes fuckin
slam me down on the hood of the fuckin pig mobile and kick my legs apart.

I wanted to scream and cuss these mother fuckers out…but one look at Edward
who was watchin the whole damn thing made me keep my fuckin mouth shut.

When I looked into his pretty green eyes and saw tears streaming down his
beautiful face that was all fuckin bloody and bruised…I wanted to fuckin cry. But I
held that in too.

Then the fuckers dragged my ass back to the backseat and threw me in the fuckin
car, slamming the door shut. Edward looked horrified and I kept silently praying
that a damn ambulance would get here soon cuz he was hurtin a whole hell of a lot.

His eyes were staring into mine as I did the only thing I could do. I mouthed, "I'm
sorry."

I was sorry for dragging him into this shit. I was sorry for talking to Brady at that
fuckin Halloween party and making him jealous. I was sorry that nothing in my
grand fuckin plan had went the way I wanted. I was sorry for ever getting him hurt.
But most of all, I was sorry cuz I knew things were about to get a whole lot worse
and he had no fuckin clue.

I watched as he collapsed again and his eyes shut. I couldn't stop myself as I
kicked the seat in front of me and screamed at the top of my god damn lungs for
them to get a fuckin ambulance here right fuckin now.

I let out a breath when I saw two pull up. By this time, Alice and Jane were being
cuffed along with Victoria. The hospital fuckers were around Edward and I couldn't
see anything no matter how I tried to move.

There were some around Laurent too and I watched him being put on a stretcher.
I smiled just a little cuz I could see that both of his legs were broke.

James and the other asshole were in cuffs now too. I saw Em, Rose, Brady, Bella,
and Jake come running out of someone's car. Rosalie snatched up Gracie in her arms
and Jane was crying hysterically for her baby.

Two cops got in the front seat of the car and said, "We're taking you to the station
to get this all sorted out."

- 463 -
 I didn't really give a fuck what they were saying cuz all I saw was Edward being
lifted onto a stretcher. Emmett and Brady were by his side.

The car started and we took off down the road. I turned and watched through the
back window and saw Carlisle's car pull up right as we rounded the corner.

The next few hours were kinda a blur. They finally uncuffed me and stuck me in
some fuckin interrogation room. My mind was racing cuz I had no clue if Edward
was okay and every time I asked, they just told me to shut the fuck up. In all
fairness, I guess they didn't like the tone I used but I was raised to believe that you
only gave respect if you got it…and these fuckers were treating me like I was a god
damn criminal. And this time, I really didn't do shit but defend myself. Irony is a
bitch sometimes.

From the little window on the door, I could see Jane and Alice being brought in.
Shortly after, I saw James and the unknown fuck.

Finally, two cops came in and sat down. A big guy with the name of Jones spoke
first, "We need to ask you some questions, son. Would you like anything before we
begin?"

I was already agitated as fuckin hell, "First…I ain't your fuckin son. Second, I'm a
fuckin minor. Ain't it against some kind of fuckin law to keep me in here all god
damn night cuz I don't know but I'd sure as hell like a fuckin lawyer to ask…"

The other officer named Payne (again, the fuckin irony wasn't lost on me),
slammed his hand down on the table, "Look here you little son of a bitch, your little
attitude is going to stop right now or I will arrest you. You're going to answer our
questions and you're going to cooperate if you know what's good for you. I've got
your record here, Whitlock…you piss me off one more time, and you will not be
released from this place any time soon. Got it?"

Control yourself, Jasper…fuckin asshole…

I took a deep breath and clenched my jaw, "What do you want to know?"

Jones spoke again, "From what we can tell, you and your friends were acting in
self defense. The cars were blocking you in…you're all minors, apart from Jane. It
has come to our attention that James and his crew were involved in some pretty
heavy drug running and child pornography ventures…so my question is…how are
you involved? Why did they come after you?"

- 464 -
 I shrugged, "Fuck if I know."

Payne rolled his eyes, "Whitlock, we know about the incident at school. James
acquired a picture of you and your boyfriend…spread it around campus.
Interestingly enough, a video of James, Laurent, and an unknown 14 year old male
were passed around in the same fashion just a few days later. You wouldn't know
anything about that, would you?"

Again I shrugged, "Nope."

Jones sighed, "Jasper, did you break into Laurent's house to attain this video?"

Mother fuck…

"Look, Jones…are you gonna charge me with something cuz if you are…I'd like a
lawyer. I don't know why they came after us and frankly, I don't give a fuck. I just
wanna get the fuck outta here and go home. You ain't got shit on me and you know
it. If you're gonna keep me much longer, I'd really like a fuckin cigarette…"

Payne laughed, "Yeah, Whitlock…you're underage…"

Then I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, Payne…I am underage so why am I here without a

parent or guardian present, being interrogated by a couple of pricks who are
reaching for fuckin straws just tryin to get something on me cuz you seen my
record? I mean, fuck…you got the bad guys…what the fuck do you want from me?"

Payne hit the table again, "We want the fucking truth about what happened! We
want to know why a fucking baby was involved! We want to know how you and your
friends are involved! You're making this a whole lot harder on yourself, you little
asshole!"

Jones sighed again and handed me a cigarette. I smiled as I took it and lit it up,
"Thanks, man. You wanna tell Yosemite Sam here that you catch a lot more bees
with honey than vinegar? Either his bad cop routine is pretty fuckin lame…" I
sneered at Payne now as I took a drag from the cigarette, "…or I don't scare that
fuckin easily. Either way, get me a fuckin lawyer or let me go."

Just then a woman popped her head in, "Officer Jones? I have the information you
requested…"

They excused themselves and again, I fuckin sat there. At least this time I had a
cigarette. I was really only worried about Edward at this point. These fuckers didn't
- 465 -
have shit on me that would stick so I knew I'd be released soon.

Eventually, Jones came back in and sat down. He handed me his cigarette pack
and I took two, sliding one behind my ear, just in case I was here for awhile longer.

He sighed, "Jasper, who have you been staying with?"

Now I was a little scared, "Um…Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his family."

He handed me a cup of coffee now and I was internally freakin out.

"Dr. Cullen is not your legal guardian. We've just found your mother, Linda."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, how is she? I haven't heard from her since she fuckin left
me with Carlisle."

He sighed, "She's currently in jail in Indiana, awaiting sentencing for a possession

charge."

I shook my head and snickered, "Serves the bitch right."

He folded his arms across his chest, "What about your father?"

I took a drag from my cigarette and played with the coffee cop in my hand,
"Um…haven't seen him in over three years."

"Jasper? The Cullen's are not your legal guardians. Your father is. We've contacted
him and he was unaware that you were no longer with your mother…"

I was starting to get fuckin pissed again as my shoulders started shaking, "What
the fuck are you telling me, Jones?"

He spoke softly and it pissed me off even more, "Your father will be here in two
days. We will release you to his custody…"

I jumped now, throwing the chair behind me as I screamed, "What the fuck?! No! I
ain't goin nowhere with that bastard! I wanna go home!"

He jumped to his feet now and I felt like a caged fuckin animal as I looked at the
door and wondered how far I'd get before they fuckin tackled me again.

"Look! We cannot release you to anyone but a parent or legal guardian! Your dad
- 466 -
wants you to live with him so that's where you're going! Now if you calm down, I will
allow you to speak with Carlisle for a moment but if you don't, you won't see him at
all! The choice is yours!"

My whole fuckin world was crashing around me. Out of all the fucked up shit that
has happened to me, this has gotta be the worst. Give me a fuckin taste of Heaven
before throwin me back in Hell…the story of my fucked up life.

I took a deep breath as I tried to hold back the tears and the anger. I swallowed it
all down before whispering, "Is Carlisle here?"

The officer nodded, "He's been here awhile. We've explained the situation to him.
He would like to see you before we move you."

I nodded, "Yeah."

He left and I picked up the chair and sat back down. What the fuck was I gonna do
now? They were taking me away. Away from Edward. Away from Carlisle and Esme.
Away from Em and my friends. Away from the only happiness I had ever fuckin
known.

I took another breath so I could try to stay strong cuz my whole body was shaking
and I was on the edge of losing it.

The officer showed him in and told us we had five minutes. I looked down at the
table, afraid to look at him for fear that it would fuckin break me.

He whispered, "Son?"

My eyes started to fill and I had to see him. I looked up and saw his soft hazel
eyes, red and puffy with tears that he had obviously been crying. He had been crying
for me cuz he loved me. Son of a bitch…

The floodgates broke and I jumped up as he rushed to me and pulled me into a

tight hug. I couldn't stop the sobs as I just fuckin begged him,
"Please…Carlisle…don't let them take me away. I swear I'll be good from now on…I
won't be bad no more…I won't get in no more trouble…please…I don't wanna go
away…I'm so fuckin sorry…just explain it to them…fix it…please…I fucked
up…please fix it…"

He was brushing his fingers through my hair and whispering, "Shhh…calm down,
son…"
- 467 -
 I just held on tighter as I sobbed like a god damn baby.

Eventually, I got my sobs under control pulled away from his tight embrace. He
whispered, "Sit down, son."

I nodded and sat. He sat across from me and held his hands out on top of the table
for me to take.

"Jasper…I'm going to get a lawyer first thing in the morning and fight to bring you
back home, where you belong. The thing is…" he sighed and pulled a hand away to
brush through his ash blonde hair, "…your biological father wants full custody of you
and I…I just don't know if there's going to be much I can do."

I knew I had to be strong. This whole thing was my fault anyway and I knew I
deserved this. I just hated that I was hurting the people I loved in the process.

I whispered through shaky breaths as I tried to hold back the tears, "Edward? Is
he…is he okay?"

Carlisle nodded and spoke quietly as he gripped my hands a little tighter, "He will
be fine, son. He has a few broken ribs and a slight concussion but he'll be fine. Esme
is with him now."

My voice broke as I looked down at the table and whispered, "This is gonna kill
him, Carlisle…"

He squeezed my hands again, "Esme and I will take care of him, son. What I need
for you to do is to take care of yourself. You're the strongest boy I have ever known,
Jasper…and I'm afraid that your strength is being tested again. Will you promise me
something, son?"

I felt a few more tears fall down my cheeks as I whispered, "Anything."

This time his voice broke, "Please, don't do anything that's going to get you in
more trouble. Please take care of yourself. And please…call us as soon as you
can…let us know where you are and if you're okay. Let me know if you need
anything. It doesn't matter to me where you are, Jasper…you will always be my son
and I will always be here for you."

I looked up at him as we both had tears running down our faces trying to control
our sobs. Carlisle looked his age for the first time. I could see the worry and pain in
his eyes and I hated myself for causing it. I didn't deserve his love…anyone's love. I
- 468 -
always ended up fucking things up. I was stupid for thinking that I could have
somebody as good as them…as Edward. I was a Whitlock…my mother and father's
son, through and through. That would never change.

But for him…for Esme…and for Edward…I would try to keep my promise, though I
knew in the back of my mind that I would fall apart, "I promise, Carlisle. Does
Edward know yet?"

He shook his head, "No…I haven't talked to him or Esme yet. I've been here for
three hours fighting with the cops outside…assholes."

I laughed a little through my tears and sniffled, "Will you tell Edward how sorry I
am? Will you tell him how much I love him?"

He nodded, "I will but I'm sure he knows."

The door opened and a woman walked in, "I'm sorry but it's time to go, Dr.
Cullen."

He nodded curtly and stood. I stood with him and he pulled me into another tight
hug, "Remember everything that you've learned, son. Don't ever forget how special
and wonderful you are. I love you, son."

I gripped his shirt and whispered through broken sobs, "I won't, Carlisle…I'm
sorry. I love you too."

The woman huffed and Carlisle pulled away and gave me a half hearted smile to
which I returned. As he walked out, I called to him, "Hey Carlisle? Tell him that I'll
never stop, okay? Tell him I meant it when I said forever."

He nodded as he started to choke up again, "I will, son. Take care of yourself."

I nodded and he was gone.

I was numb. I had to be. There was no way I could get through this, feeling the
kinda pain I was feeling. I just felt…empty. I tried to fool myself into thinking that
the mean, crazy son of a bitch in me, was all an act and that the good side was the
real me…who was I fuckin kidding? I am Jasper fuckin Whitlock…white trash, good
for nothing, mean ass mother fucker who don't give a fuck about anyone or
anything…or at least I better get back into the act again real fuckin quick if I was
gonna survive this shit.

- 469 -
 The next two days were…well, they were pretty fuckin typical for my bullshit life. I
stayed in the fuckin guardian home…slept on a cold, hard twin bed…and pretty
much just stayed there as I waited for my sperm donor to drag me off to Hell with
him. There were a lot of times I got real pissed and wanted to fight any and
everyone around me but quite frankly…I just didn't have the fight in me anymore.
And I knew that was gonna be a fuckin problem cuz life at the Whitlock house was
kill or be killed. Fuck my life.

The bitch ass caseworker brought me over a duffle bag of clothes that I didn't
even bother going through. I was sittin on the windowsill in the cruddy old house
smoking a cigarette when the bitch walked in, "Jasper? Your father is here to pick
you up."

I closed my eyes and finished my cigarette before I grabbed my bag and headed
downstairs. I saw his dirty blonde crew cut and groaned internally. Or it must've
been externally cuz he turned and looked at me. He was just as I
remembered…about 6'2, a big beer gut but the rest of him was rock solid, ice blue
eyes that showed nothing but contempt for everything around him.

He stood and sighed before folding his arms across his chest, "You need a
haircut…you look like a god damn fag."

I just closed my eyes and shook my head before grabbing my bag and sighing,
"Which way is the fuckin truck?"

I ain't cutting my fuckin hair…Edward likes it and dear old dad can just fuck off…

I followed him outside as he muttered, "Looks like that fuckin mouth of yours ain't
got no better…you're still a little smart mouthed asshole…"

I rolled my eyes, "What can I say, pop? You and mama taught me well."

We walked to his decrepit old truck and I hopped in. Once he was in, he turned to
me, "I let that shit slide, boy, cuz of where we are. You will show me respect or I will
make you show me respect, do you fuckin understand me?"

I pulled out a cigarette and just gave in…this was gonna be a long fuckin drive
back to Texas, "Yes, sir."

It took five fuckin days to get back there. As we pulled up to the same old small
fucked up house I remembered from my childhood nightmares, I cringed.

- 470 -
 Me and Sergeant Dickhead hadn't talked much on the way back…by choice on
both our ends.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for my new life. By this point, I was
teetering back and forth between uncontrollable anger and just…nothingness.

We walked in and the house was a fuckin wreck…dirty dishes piled up, hadn't
been cleaned in God knows how long, the only decorations were empty beer and
alcohol bottles that littered the broken down kitchen table. Just like I
remembered…I'm fuckin home…god damn it.

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, "I need to use the phone."

He grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed me one, "Don't got one."

I looked at him and just shook my fuckin head, "You ain't got a fuckin phone?"

He took a long pull of his beer and belched, "Nope. Your aunt Barb's got one. She
still lives two blocks over. But it ain't got long distance on it so if you're planning on
callin back to that fuckin hellhole we just left…you're shit outta luck."

I groaned and ran my hand over my face, "Just fuckin great…"

I finished my beer in one long gulp and threw it in the trash can that was already
overflowing, "I'm gonna take a shower."

I went into the bathroom and took it in…the peeling wallpaper, the dirty shower
curtain, and beer bottles. Nice.

I shook my head and looked in the grimy fuckin mirror. I looked like shit already. I
had dark circles under my eyes cuz I hadn't been sleeping for shit since all this
happened. I hadn't been able to call Edward yet and every time I thought of him, my
fuckin stomach knotted and that unbearable pain made my chest feel like it was
fuckin caving in.

I was so worried about him that I couldn't really register my own pain at the
moment…all I could think of was his. What the fuck was he gonna do? He'd been
doin so well and I shuddered as I thought about what he might do when he found
out I wasn't coming back home.

I gotta get back…I gotta get a fuckin car…first chance I get, I'm fuckin runnin…

- 471 -
 I sighed and threw my bag on the sink. I unzipped it and pulled out some boxers, a
pair of old faded jeans, and a wife beater. It was hot as shit here and most of my
clothes were suited for cooler weather. But for the first time in a long time…I didn't
give a fuck how I looked. I felt like shit…might as well look like it too.

Then I saw it at the bottom of the bag…my picture of me, Edward, Carlisle and
Esme in the frame that said 'Family.'

My eyes started to well up again and I sniffed as I ran my thumb over Edward's
picture. I closed my eyes as a few silent tears fell and I just thought back…

I smiled at my beautiful boy and with a cocky smirk, I whispered, "You want me?"

He nods and that sexy crooked grin graces his face, "More than anything."

I cock my head and the smirk has faded, "You need me?"

Cuz I need you…

He smiles softly as his arms go to either side of me and begins lying me back on
the ground as he whispers, "More than air."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked into those dark green eyes…they
always got a little darker when he was worked up, "You love me?"

He pressed his soft red lips to mine and simply whispered, "Yes."

I wrapped my fingers in that silky auburn hair and get lost in this feeling. The
feeling of being in love and being loved back.

The kiss was getting pretty deep when I heard, "Jesus, Edward…you're attacking
the boy again? Do open doors mean nothing to you?"

I pulled myself from my memory with a soft chuckle through hot tears. I wiped my
eyes and put the picture back in my bag carefully before jumping in the shower.
Once I was in there, I just let it all go and cried again like a fuckin baby. I was never
gonna make it without him…

Once I was cried out, the water was cold so I got out of the shower and dressed. I
walked into the hallway and to the extra bedroom. I just shook my head as I saw a
god damn milk crate and a fuckin futon.

- 472 -
 White trash enough for ya, Jay? Fuck…at least it's not a mattress on the floor…

I sat down on the dirty old futon and pulled on my socks and shoes. It was
Saturday and I still had to figure out some way to get to a fuckin phone. I was broke
as fuck so I couldn't buy one. Fuck my god damn life.

I pulled myself up and went back into the kitchen…it took me like five steps to get
there in this fuckin tissue box house. I opened the fridge and couldn't even manage
to roll my eyes as I saw a bottle of hot sauce, two cases of beer, and a bottle of
ketchup.

I pulled out another beer and popped the top off. I threw my head back and took a
good, long pull when there was a knock at the door. My fuckin worthless father was
already asleep on the couch so I went over and opened it.

And why wasn't I surprised?

"Jasper fuckin Whitlock! Didn't think I'd see ya back here any time soon!"

I groaned internally for real this time as I held out my fist and bumped the mother
fucker's hand, "I didn't think I'd be back here either…"

My cousin Jeremiah smiled at me. He looked a lot like me, much to my dismay,
although he was four years older than me, now 19. He was about 6'2, lean but
muscular, blond wavy hair that was just a little grown out on top.

He laughed, "So, cuz…I figured you'd be itchin to get the fuck outta here by now.
And just cuz I'm a sweet mother fucker…I brought ya a home comin gift!"

I smirked, "Oh yeah?"

He smiled as he pulled out a big fat blunt, "Yup…even though ya broke my leg, ya
little fucker…I'm gonna get ya high anyway."

Sorry, Carlisle…but I just gotta get fucked up if I'm gonna be here…

I laughed, "Dude, that was like, seven years ago…let it go, man…"

He laughed as he pulled out his lighter and plopped down on the front porch
steps, "I let it go…I let it go…fuck, I deserved it but ya gotta understand, cuz…five
bucks a day to whoop your ass is a lot of money to a twelve year old ghetto fucker
like me."
- 473 -
 I rolled my eyes, "Yeah…well, just so ya know…I ain't a kid no more."

He rolled his eyes now and laughed, "Dude! Shut the fuck up and go grab me a
beer!"

I smiled, "Only cuz ya asked me so nicely…"

I walked in and grabbed two more beers, quickly finishing the one I had and
tossing it in the trash.

I walked back out and handed him a beer as I sat down next to him. He handed me
the blunt, "You do the honors, cuz."

I took his lighter and lit it up. The aroma of the beer and pot was strangely
comforting to me. I took a few hits and passed it off.

We sat there and bullshitted awhile and by the time the blunt was done and two
more beers were downed, I was feeling pretty fuckin twisted.

The good thing about way too many drugs and way too much alcohol…it managed
to numb the ache in my chest and cloud my mind to where I could get through a day
without crying like a fuckin pussy.

We left the house and walked over to his. He was rattlin on about a whole bunch
of nothing and I pretended to listen. When I walked in my aunt Barb's house, the
smell of barbecued catfish hit me and even though that shit smelled amazing…I had
no fuckin appetite.

She came out from the kitchen, smiling as she opened her arms up, "Well, hell!
Look what the cat dragged in!" She threw her arms around me and I feigned
interest.

"Hey Barb. How ya been?"

She went on for ten minutes about her back pain and blinding headaches and I
groaned…

Why the fuck did I ask her how she was?

Jeremiah went to the fridge and grabbed two more beers, bringing me one which I
immediately started downing.

- 474 -
 Just then, my younger cousin Suzie came running in the kitchen, grabbing
Jeremiah's beer and taking a big swig before he snatched it back. I figured she was
about 14 now. She was dressed like a little harlot in a pair of cutoff jean shorts up to
her ass and a bikini top.

She laughed, "Mama, I'm goin out for awhile…"

Aunt Barb hollered as she battered the catfish, "You really think you're leaving the
house like that? You look like a god damn whore!"

Suzie just rolled her eyes and laughed, "Dolly said it best mama…it cost a lot to
look this cheap. Don't wait up!"

And then she was gone.

Barb just rolled her eyes and muttered, "Fuckin girl's gonna get knocked up 'fore
she's sixteen and I'm gonna be stuck raising another god damn baby…"

Jeremiah sighed, "C'mon, man…let's go smoke again."

I nodded but didn't say shit. Honestly, I hadn't been around my dad's side of the
family since I was 11 and my mind was all over the fuckin place right now. I just
wanted to call Edward.

The night drug on in a haze of pot smoke and alcohol. By the time Jeremiah passed
out, I had curled up on his floor with the pillow he threw me. The house was quiet
now but I could hear and feel the warm wind blowing outside through the open
window.

Alone now with only my thoughts, the image of my beautiful bronze haired boy
haunted my mind. I wondered what he was doing right now. I wondered if he was
okay. My stomach churned as images fluttered through my mind of him having
another panic attack…cutting himself again…seeing those fuckin demons laughing
at him…or maybe even something worse.

I promised that I would never leave him…that I'd always be by his side. I lied.

I wondered if he was ever gonna be able to forgive me for this. Would he hate me
for leaving? Would he know how much I loved him and that I would come back to
him the first chance I got? Would he still keep loving me even if I wasn't around?

What if he found someone else?

- 475 -
 I had to push those thoughts from my mind cuz the thought of my baby boy broken
or with another guy, caused those traitor fuckin tears to come back to my burnin
eyes again.

I buried my face in the pillow as the sobs broke through. I couldn't let nobody hear
me. They would think I was weak and that ain't looked on kindly in my family.

I gripped the pillow as I shook and cried. I was beginning to sober up and I
couldn't fuckin take it. Being sober made the pain much too real. I whispered his
name and told him sorry I was for fuckin everything up. I told him how much I loved
him and how I would spend the rest of my life trying to find my way back to him.

Our whole lives passed in front of my closed eyes as I thought back to the first
time I ever saw him…I thought he was kinda adorable, even back then. But after our
first kiss…I was fuckin done for. I liked the way his lips felt…the way he tasted…the
goose bumps that covered his arms and neck cuz of me…I liked it all.

Who woulda thought that one little kiss could change my life so fuckin much?

I wanted Edward. I wanted to feel his warm cheek resting against my chest…his
soft bronze hair between my fingers…his strong body curled into mine as he slept.
How the hell was I gonna survive this?

I finally passed out and dreamt of him all night long.

In the morning, I had to be ready to act again.

I awoke to the familiar smell of pot. I cracked my eyes open and Jeremiah was
blowing smoke my way, "Wake and bake, cuz."

I lifted my stiff body from the floor and took the joint. After copping a morning
buzz, I went to my dad's to get cleaned up. He was gone when I got there so I was
pretty happy about that.

I met up with Jeremiah later and we ended up at my other cousin's house, Caleb
and Ethan. They were 18 and 17, and I'd be goin to school with Ethan. Caleb
dropped out last year. We were all sitting on the front porch, throwin back a few
beers when I asked about Brandon, the other cousin that used to whoop my ass.

Caleb sighed, "Shit, man…he's doing a 5 year bid for stealing cars. He's looking to
get out in another three and a half years."

- 476 -
 I took a pull from my beer and sighed, "That's fucked up."

My mind was on Edward again while they kept shooting the shit and getting
fucked up. I need a fuckin phone and I need a fuckin car so I can get back home. I
only had about two months until I turned 16 so I needed to get my shit together so
when I got my license, I could skip the fuck outta here.

"I need a job," I tossed my empty bottle in the trash and Ethan handed me
another. I was already drunk as a skunk but took it anyway cuz I needed to be numb.

Caleb looked over at me with a raised eyebrow, "You need to make some money?"

I nodded and he smiled that deviant smile that I knew all too well, "Well, ya know
how to crack up a car?"

I sighed as I looked down at the bottle in my hand, "Yeah…but, I was really wantin
something legit, ya know?"

There was just no way I could do something that risky when getting back to
Edward was at stake.

Jeremiah shook his head, "Leave him alone, man…he's too young to be getting into
that shit…fuck, Brandon already lost five years from the shit. Ya know anything
about cars, Jay? I mean, like, changing oil and shit?"

I nodded and took a draw from my beer. He smiled, "Tomorrow, after ya get done
with school, swing by and I'll take ya over to Matt's garage. He's a buddy of mine,
his dad owns an auto shop…I'll see if I can pull a favor and get ya some work."

I smiled back, truly fuckin grateful to my douche bag cousin, "Alright, thanks
man."

He shrugged, "No problem, cuz."

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. I got fucked up from sunrise to
sundown and usually ended up passing out on aunt Barb's couch or the floor in
Jeremiah's room.

I was the quiet, brooding one now in this little circle of fucked up cousins that I
had. My thoughts were always on Edward. The weekends were spent partying at
someone's house and getting fucked up. They almost always ended in a fight that I
was more than glad to jump into. I needed some way to vent my anger and beating
- 477 -
the shit of somebody…anybody…helped.

The bad thing was, they were always pushing pussy my way and I was runnin out
of excuses to pass it up. I knew I couldn't come out to my family…no fuckin way. And
there wasn't a chance in Hell that I'd ever cheat on Edward. It didn't matter how far
away he was or that we hadn't talked yet…he was still mine and I was his…I just
hoped he felt the same way.

I had a little over a month left of school. That had been another fuckin nightmare.
I was branded as a fuck up before I even started just cuz of my name and the fact
that my cousins had all went there. I had to take a Sprite bottle filled with vodka just
to get through the day. Grades didn't mean shit to me anymore. I don't know why I
ever thought I had a chance of leaving this fucked up life behind anyway.

The only good thing was that I was able to email Edward from school. I emailed
him everyday in my computer lab class but he never sent me anything back. This
only caused me to worry even more and get even more fucked up just so I could try
to fuckin breathe all damn day long.

Bad thoughts ran through my mind about him. I couldn't stand the thought of him
hurting. He obviously hadn't been on the computer since I left and that was odd for
Edward cuz he spent a lot of time on it.

Jeremiah had helped me land a job at his buddy's garage. The pay was shitty but it
was under the table so that was cool. I worked a couple days through the week and
Saturday during the day. It had been a month since I had talked to Edward so on
Friday night, when I got my money, I went and bought a prepaid phone.

My dickhead sperm donor wasn't at home and I was grateful as I grabbed a beer
and sat on the front porch. It was already dark outside and the dry heat was driving
me crazy.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down before I dialed his number. As
it rang, my heart was racing, waiting for his sexy velvet voice to answer…but I got
his voicemail.

I sighed, frustrated as hell and hung up without leaving a message. I managed to

wait ten minutes before trying again with the same outcome. I thought about callin
the house or Em but I couldn't remember the fuckin numbers…I had everything on
speed dial on my old phone.

My breathing hitched as I remembered the video I had taken on my old phone. I

- 478 -
had stuck my phone in my backpack after school and had left it in Jane's car when
the fight happened. I hope no one got a hold of it but I did lock the video so no one
could see it.

Jeremiah came walkin down the sidewalk smoking a cigarette, "Dude?! Pool
hall…Donnie's runnin that shit tonight so we can smoke and drink there. C'mon, ya
moody mother fucker…get your ass up!"

I sighed and shoved my phone in my pocket, praying that Edward would see the
number and call me back. We took off walkin to the pool hall that was a few blocks
over. It was a fuckin divey little shit hole with a few pool tables and dart boards.
Normally, drinking and smoking wasn't allowed in it, but night's that his buddy
Donnie was in charge, he'd let us get twisted all night long.

Everyone was there when we got there. All my cousins and a bunch of their
friends were playin pool, listenin to music, and getting fucked up. After a couple of
blunts and a few more beers, I was at the pool table hustling mother fuckers who
thought they could beat me. I made another hundred bucks so that was cool.

I kept pullin out my phone just to make sure I hadn't missed a call but nothing yet.
A few of the local tramps were tryin to hang all over me but after a few rude
comments, they were convinced that I was an asshole and let the shit go.

At around midnight, everybody was three sheets to the wind and high as fuck.
Donnie pulled out an old guitar and started playing around with it. I think he was
tryin to impress the chicks but he couldn't play for shit. Eventually, we were all
saved when Mary laughed at him and told him to not quit his day job.

He mumbled something about getting rid of the fuckin thing and I jumped, "Ya
wanna sell it, man? I'll give ya $50 bucks for it right now."

He shrugged, "Sure, Jay. Hope you have better luck with it than me."

I gave him the money and he gave me the guitar.

I hadn't played since Forks and my guitars were left behind so I was actually
pretty happy to have another one now. I loved playing music…it helped calm me
down. So, I excused myself to go get some fresh air and I stepped out through the
back door.

I sat on the steps and tuned it first. It was dark as hell out here and the warm air
felt good. It was quiet out here too…away from the drunk fucks in the pool hall and
- 479 -
this place was set back away from the road or any fucking thing, really, so the peace
and quiet was nice.

Once I had the guitar tuned, I took a drink of my beer and threw my cigarette
down. I closed my eyes and started playin.

I sang 'Nothingman'softly as visions of Edward played behind my closed lids like

old home movies…

Once divided...nothing left to subtract...

Some words when spoken...can't be taken back...

Walks on his own...with thoughts he can't help thinking...

Future's above...but in the past he's slow and sinking...

Caught a bolt 'a lightnin'...cursed the day he let it go...

Nothingman... Nothingman...

Isn't it something?

Nothingman...

By the end of the song, I was completely lost to it and wailing out the last few
lines…

Burn...burn...burn…

Nothingman... Nothingman...

Isn't it something?

Nothingman...

Nothingman... Nothingman...

Coulda' been something...

Nothingman...Oh...ohh...ohh...

- 480 -
 "Well, holy shit, son! You can actually play!"

My eyes flashed open, brought out of my moment by Jeremiah standing there

laughing.

I smirked, "I'm a talented mother fucker…you should know this, man."

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah…yeah…so hey, if you're interested, I know another way
ya might be able to make some money…ya know, legit and all that shit."

I sat the guitar down and lit a cigarette. I exhaled, "Yeah? What's that?"

He plopped down next to me and bummed a square, "A buddy of mine plays in this
band and they're lookin for a fucker who can sing and play guitar. You just might be
that fucker."

I laughed, "Fuck, man…do you know every mother fucker in the whole god damn
county?"

He just shrugged, "Yup…just about. So, you interested?"

Now I shrugged, "Sure. I guess. What happened to their lead singer?"

He smiled over at me, "It was Brandon. Nuff said."

I just nodded, "Yup."

We talked for a few minutes and once he was done with his cigarette, he lit up a
joint. He took a few hits and passed it to me. I grabbed it and took a draw.

He exhaled and started coughing, "So…who the fuck is she? Some chick back in
Washington?"

Now I started coughing, "What the fuck ya talkin bout, cuz?"

He started coughin and laughin at the same time, then in a lame ass Forrest Gump
impression he drawled out, "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is."

I started laughin and just shakin my head, "You're a silly mother fucker, man."

He laughed, "So, seriously, dude…who is she? You wasn't singin like that for no
reason. Ya got a girl back in Washington? Is that why ya ain't interested in none of
- 481 -
the pussy round here?"

I sighed as that crushing pain in my chest came back full force, "Somethin like
that, man."

He shook his head and sighed, "Yeah…love's a fuckin bitch, cuz."

He had just gone through a bad break up with his girl, Candace. They had been
datin since they were 15 and he was pretty torn up about it. He didn't show anything
to outsiders, but to me, Caleb, and Ethan…he'd let those walls down. I wish I could
let mine down too but I knew that there was no way they'd except me and my life
here would get a hundred times worse if I was completely on my own.

I handed him the joint and stood, "I'm gonna head home, man…"

He furrowed his brows, "Dude? It's only…" he looked at his watch and his eyes
grew wide, "…fuck, it's damn near 2:30 in the mornin. Alright, cuz. See ya
tomorrow."

I nodded and grabbed my guitar, "Later, cuz."

I lit up a cigarette as I walked home, eyes burning and heart aching. I pulled out
my phone and tried Edward again and still got his god damn voice mail. This time I
left a message, "Hey Edward…um…it's me, Jay. I'm really fuckin worried bout ya,
darlin. I miss ya like crazy. I'm so fuckin sorry bout what happened. Please…please,
call me as soon as ya get this and let me know you're okay. I love you so much,
Edward…I just hope you still love me too. Sweet dreams, darlin."

I rattled out my number and hung up.

Where the fuck is he?

I crawled onto that stupid fuckin futon with my clothes still on and my phone in
my hand as I fell asleep.

A fuckin month passed and I still hadn't heard from Edward. I was goin outta my
fuckin mind. I still tried callin him every night with the same fuckin result. His
phone wasn't turned off or anything so I couldn't understand why he wasn't callin
me back. Was he purposely avoiding my calls? Was he mad at me? What the fuck
was goin on?

My moods were getting even shittier and I was flyin off the handle even more than
- 482 -
usual lately. Me and my dad had already been in a couple of fights cuz I stopped
controlling my mouth around him. And just like I remembered, he was the strongest
man I had ever fought and he usually beat my ass. At least now, I was able to get a
few good hits in from time to time.

I ended up joining that band my cousin had told me about. It was three other guys,
Nathan, Daniel, and Austin. We practiced usually on Saturday after I got off of work
and Sundays. We played a few times a month at a bar owned by Austin's uncle and
got paid about a hundred bucks each.

We were pretty fuckin good and started to get a little following. Austin's uncle,
John, wouldn't let us drink at the bar but he'd let us get fucked up backstage. We
played a lot of different music but most the time it was pretty hard rock. It was a big
help to me to play. They let me use Brandon's guitars to play since he hand an
electric and an acoustic guitar that he wasn't gonna be using anytime soon. Any free
time I had was spent practicing…and getting fucked up.

It was mostly liquor and pot but recently, Nathan had been able to get pills so we
threw them in the mix too. Luckily, I didn't have to buy anything but my cigarettes
cuz my cousins and dad kept me supplied in pot and alcohol and Nathan was
generous with his pills. I was pretty numb most of the time and I was pretty fuckin
thankful for it.

I had three weeks left till I turned 16 and I was counting down the days. I didn't
have near enough money for a car yet but I was saving as much as I could. I was
really fuckin anxious to get back home to Edward and find out what the hell was
goin on.

It was Saturday night and we were playin a show. We were sittin around
backstage waitin for our set to start, just drinkin and smoking like usual.

Daniel laughed as he took a toke from the blunt, "Uh oh, Jay…here comes that lil'
Kaycee bitch…the chick won't stop hangin from your nuts."

I rolled my eyes and threw back the shot of Crown. It didn't burn near as bad as it
probably should've. I sighed and muttered a sarcastic, "Great."

She came up behind me and ran her hand down my spine. I shuddered and turned
to face her, "What the fuck ya want, Kaycee?"

She smiled…I swear this bitch just likes me more and more the worse I treat her.

- 483 -
 "It's my birthday, Jasper…ya know what I really want?" she stumbled into my
chest and I pulled away and leaned against the wall.

"The real question is…do I fuckin care what ya want?," I smirked as I shook my
head, "Nope, don't fuckin care…now run along somewhere."

She scowled but then it turned into a determined grin and I shuddered again. She
leaned over and whispered, "I really wanna suck your dick, Jasper…"

This girl was tryin my fuckin patience. She was 21, well 22 now I guess…she knew
I was only bout to turn 16 but she never fuckin quit tryin to get into my pants.

I shook my head as Nathan shouted, "Dude, come the fuck on…it's time."

I just walked past her as she scowled again.

Thank God it was time to play cuz I needed this shit.

We started with The Black Keyes, Hold Me In Your Arms…

I loved the guitar in this one and thought about Edward as I sang, "Well, I need
you…need you by my side. Lonely evenin…eyes are open wide. Nothin you could say,
could make me turn my back…"

My cloudy mind was on Edward for the next one too and I closed my eyes as I
sang 'Home' by the Nine Inch Nails…

"Everything is catchin up to me…I awake…to find I'm not at all where I should be.
And it feels, I'm getting to the end…And it's hard, to figure out what's real and
what's pretend…"

My heart ached as I just squeezed my eyes shut and sang for Edward, "To break
from what we're tied to…God knows how much I've tried to. And I am still inside
you…and I am still inside you…"

Messy bronze hair and amazing emerald eyes flashed through my mind at a
million miles an hour… "I escape every now and then…And to think, I find myself
back here again and again…"

I thought about our first kiss again and how I ached to kiss him for so long after
that…a year and a half wasted before he kissed me again. What I wouldn't give to
get it back…
- 484 -
 "I used to know who I was, until you came along, I return to the only place I've
ever felt that I belong…"

My chest constricted and it was hard to get the rest of the song out, but I
managed, "To break from what we're tied to…God knows how much I've tried to.
And I am still inside you…and I am still inside you…"

I was emotionally drained after that god damn song but I got through the rest of
the set okay. Austin dropped me off at my dad's afterwards and I went to my fuckin
futon and curled up. I was still fucked up ten ways to Sunday but I pulled out my
phone and decided to try one more time tonight.

It rang twice and on the third ring I heard, "Hello?"

It wasn't Edward's voice so I cleared my throat a little caught off guard, "Yeah…is
Edward there?"

The boy laughed, "Is this Jasper?"

I sat up now wonderin what the hell was goin on, "Yeah, who the fuck's this?"

The boy snickered and I heard laughing in the background, "I'm a friend of
Edward's. He's a little busy right now and can't come to the phone…"

I was startin to get pissed, "Busy doin what?! Put him on the god damn phone!"

More laughter as he sighed, "I hate to be the one to tell you this…I guess he
figured you'd give up after he didn't answer any of your calls before but it's obvious
you're not. He's in the bedroom with Tommy…they're probably sucking each other
off by now."

My heart fuckin shattered and I couldn't fuckin breathe… "What? Edward

wouldn't do that…"

He laughed again, "Did you really think he would wait for you? He jumped Tommy
the first chance he got. You really didn't think you guys had something special did
you? It was a matter of convenience for Edward…nothing more."

I squeezed my eyes shut as those fuckin tears started to spill over, "Put Edward on
the god damn phone right fuckin now!"

He sighed, "Wow…you're really pretty pathetic. The boy doesn't want you
- 485 -
anymore, Jasper. So, I think you need to quit being such a spineless pussy and
accept that it's over."

I started to scream again when I heard a dial tone.

I gripped my phone and screamed out, "What the fuck!"

My mind started racing…

Who the fuck was that? Was what he said true? It couldn't be…right? Did Edward
really just use me to scratch an itch he had?

No…no fuckin way…

I dialed his number again and once again, I got his fuckin voicemail. I lost it as the
anger and hurt in me boiled over, "Edward! What the fuck! It's been two god damn
months! You really couldn't wait two god damn months for me?! You fuckin prick! Ya
know what? Fuck you! Ya think you're the only one who can get some one else?!
Well, fuck off, cuz I can get any fuckin body I want! And I'm gonna fuckin start
tonight!"

The tears were thick now as the anguish pushed down the anger and I could
barely breathe when my voice cracked with sobs, "I really fuckin loved you,
Edward…I thought you loved me too. I don't understand…I guess I shoulda known
that you'd finally figure out that I wasn't good enough for you. I won't call you no
more…just…be safe, Edward."

I hung up the phone and buried my face in my hands. Images of Tommy and
Edward now raced through my mind and a minute later I was heaving in the fuckin
toilet.

I was a fuckin mess. Edward didn't want me anymore…he didn't love me. Believe
it or not, I had been tryin real fuckin hard to be good since I got here…but no more.
What was the fuckin point anyway? My life, as I once knew it, was fuckin over.

I picked myself up off the floor and walked into the kitchen. I pulled out a bottle of
Jack from under the counter and just started taking big swigs. My whole body was
shaking and before I could control myself, I had thrown my phone against the fuckin
wall and watched it shatter.

I hopped up on the kitchen counter and continued drinkin until I was so fucked up
I couldn't see straight. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.
- 486 -
 I looked around at my dad's trashy tissue box house and sighed, "Welcome home,
Jasper."

- 487 -
 Chapter 25

A big thanks to OnTheTurningAway for some of the song recs…

So, I know a lot of you were upset with the last chapter, understandably
so…I even lost a few readers…but in all fairness, I warned at the beginning
that this was going to be gritty. I am very overwhelmed by the amount of
reviews I've received, I've even pulled a few lurkers out to review. The
majority of them are positive. I know that many of you don't like the turn the
story has taken, but I won't apologize for it. Writing is therapeutic for me. I
do it because I enjoy it…the reviews are a big bonus, but not the reason why
I write. That being said, I do appreciate so much the reviews that have been
left. It seems my boys have really gotten to some of you, as much as they
have gotten to me. For that, I am very thankful because I think that's the
best compliment a writer can get…when you're affected by the characters as
if they were real and a part of your life. So, thanks again!

Sleeping Sickness by City and Colour, Weapon by Matthew Good, Insane

by Damien Rice, Perfect Blue Buildings by Counting Crows, Hello I'm In
Delaware by City and Colour, True Love Way by Kings of Leon

Edward POV

The warm sun was bathing down upon my face as I leaned against the old oak
tree. The forest was lush and green, the blue sky glistened above as I closed my eyes
and breathed deeply…the lovely scent of honey washed through me and I couldn't
help the smile that graced my lips.

Warm, pouty lips pressed gently against my neck and I sighed a content…mmm…

The soft chuckle made me open my eyes to be met with the softest blue I had ever
seen. Golden curls blew lightly in the wind and my fingers rose of their own accord
to brush through the honey locks.

Jay smiled widely and those dimples I adored caused my breathing to hitch. Barely
a whisper on the breeze, I sighed, "I love you, Jasper."

Rough fingertips grazed my wild bronze hair lazily as the honey scent of his
breath caused my senses to shut down completely and be lost to everything else, "I
love you too, Edward. Always."

- 488 -
 I shivered as a brisk breeze whipped through the air and he looked to the sky with
a sad sigh, "I have to go…"

My hands wrapped around the heated flesh of his bare back and his old faded blue
jeans swished as I pulled him close to me, "No…don't go…please…"

The sky began to darken and the air became chilly and moist. Fat, lazy raindrops
began to fall. His smile had faded into a sorrowful frown, "I have to, Edward."

I shook my head and held on tighter, "No…you promised me forever…"

His face rested against my collarbone as his rough fingertips glided along my
chest and settled above my heart, "Don't you hear it, Edward? They're callin for me,
darlin. I have no choice."

I heard the faint whispers and cackles of laughter calling his name as I saw the
shadows creeping in, slowly covering the bright green of the forest floor in
darkness.

He pulled away and held my face in his hands as I held his, "No, Jay. You promised
you'd always be with me…"

Hot tears started streaming down my face as he brushed them away. Lightening
cracked in the midnight sky and I shivered once again as he leaned into me and
gently brushed his lips against mine, "Just because I won't be sitting next to you,
doesn't mean I won't be with you, Edward. I'm always with you, remember that,
darlin."

My body wracked with sobs as he pulled away and took off running towards the
voices calling his name. I watched as two beautiful white wings rose up from his
back as he ran gracefully away from me.

I whispered, "No…don't leave me, my angel…"

And then I was running after him, focused on nothing but those wings every time
the lightening lit up the sky as I made my way through the dark forest. The rain was
beating down hard against the forest floor now and it stung as it hit me like a million
little cuts all over my body.

It was so dark and the more I ran, the louder the whispers and laughter became.
The lightening cracked once again and I saw his beautiful sad face in the light. He
mouthed, "I'm sorry."
- 489 -
 And then the lightening was over and everything was dark once again. I looked
desperately for him in the darkness.

I ran frantically searching for a glimmer but…he was gone.

I fell to my knees in the thick mud as sobs shook my body. I buried my face in
hands and whispered, "He's gone…he's gone…"

My eyes opened as I gasped for air. Quickly two arms were wrapped around me
and I was held tightly to my mother's chest. The tears were hot and thick as I
sobbed against her, both hands holding onto my phone for dear life just in case he
called. She whispered, "Shh, son…everything's going to be okay…"

I shook my head and held on tighter, "He's gone, mom…it'll never be okay."

She held me as I sobbed and a few minutes later, my dad was sitting on my bed
next to me as well. He held out his hand, "Here, son. Take these to help you sleep."

I pulled from my mom and wiped my eyes, "No! I don't want them! Sleep is not
what I need!"

Again the sobs overtook me as my father now pulled me to him. I clung to his
chest like a desperate child as I begged in broken breaths, "I need him…please
daddy…please fix it…please bring him home…I can't breathe without him…I don't
want to…fix it, daddy…please."

He whispered into my hair, "I'm working on it, son. I promise you that I will do
everything I can."

My mother and father held me for quite awhile until I couldn't cry any longer. My
sore bruised body ached and my head was screaming at me.

It had been three days since I lost him. Three days of haunting, teasing
nightmares…endless cries of agony and gasping for air…demons laughing and
taunting me as they relished in their victory. They had told me they were coming
after him long ago…and they had won.

Perhaps the most difficult thing for me was the realization that my demons, were
not real. But Jasper's demons…they were very real, made of flesh and bone and
hidden under the guise of family.

I ached for him, for his pain. I would do anything to take it from him and make it
- 490 -
my own. I couldn't even begin to imagine the Hell he was going through right now. I
imagined him and his father driving to Texas while his father berated him and
brought to the surface all of those insecurities and false ideas of who he was and
what he was destined to be.

Jasper was the toughest boy I had ever known…but even he would wear down
eventually. You can only be told you're stupid and worthless so much until you
believe those things to be true and act accordingly. I imagined him standing there
with his family…a beer in one hand, a joint in the other…thinking to himself that
there was no point in fighting it anymore, thinking that he was and always would be
trash.

All of the steps he had taken could so easily be washed away by the steady stream
of negativity feeding to his own insecurities.

I could feel the despair that surrounded him and I didn't know if I could with stand
the pain. Broken ribs were meaningless compared to my broken heart.

My mother left for a moment, returning with a cup of tea. I pulled myself together
as much as possible and pulled away from my father's embrace, "Have you spoken to
the lawyer today? The caseworker?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "I have. The lawyer…well, he
pretty much said that there is nothing we can do legally. The caseworker refuses to
tell me anything. I've spoken to Charlie, Bella's dad…but he's just the local sheriff
and the case was taken over by the state. He's trying to find some information on
where he went but because Jasper is a minor, he's not having too much luck. I'm
meeting with a private investigator next week. It was the soonest he could see me.
Hopefully, Jasper will contact us before then. We'll figure something out, son…it's
just going to take a little time."

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as a few more tears fell. This was my first night
back home from the hospital. I completely lost it in there when my father told me
what happened. They had to sedate me. My father doesn't know…but I heard him
speaking with the doctor out in the hallway. They had wanted to keep me there for
psychiatric evaluation but he refused…always standing up for me.

I only remember bits and pieces from the last few days…

Screaming…lots of screaming…even more crying…

Pulling out my IV's and jumping from the bed to try and make it out the door…
- 491 -
 More screaming as guards held me tight…but I continued to fight with them…

My mother crying hysterically…my father burying his head in his hands as sobs
wracked his body…

Shadows whipping across the room…

Lots of laughter and whispers…

The room spinning and the lights becoming hazy…

The smell of bleach and blood and mud causing me to gasp uncontrollably…

The sharp stick of the needle in my hip and the familiar burn that raced through
my body…

Darkness…

I'm pulled from my memories as my mother yawns and whispers, "Scoot over,
baby."

I do and she crawls in next to me. Then my father stands and rounds the bed,
crawling in behind her. My mother's arms hold me all night long as my father holds
her. I hold onto the pillow next to me as I grip my phone until my knuckles are
turning white and fight sleep all night long. Sleeping means dreaming and my
dreams are too much to bear right now. I have to lose him all over again with each
dream.

I lay and remember everything about him…about us. I fight hard to choke back
the sobs as I reminisce…but they easily spill over…

"Edward, everyone is fucked up…it's just that some people are better at hiding it
than others."

"Don't worry, Eddie, things are gonna start getting a whole lot better for you. I
promise."

"You can practice on me if you want?"

"I heard that Edward Cullen was the hottest boy in town…"

"No way man. It's still dark outside and I'm walking you home."
- 492 -
 "Thanks for the pancakes, Eddie."

"You like the accent, huh?"

"So, when we're alone, I can kiss you then?"

"We're gonna be best friends forever, right? No matter what?"

"Eddie, it's okay. I feel the same way."

"Edward? Do you want me to stop…ya know…dating people?"

"Fuck it…Edward, I think I might be in love with you. How do you feel about me?"

"Ready to go a little faster, Eddie?"

"Your hand…and my hand…forever and ever, Edward…it will always be your

hand in my hand. You're mine now, baby and I promise to always take good care of
you."

"Yeah, I landed on my dick and I think I broke it."

"Can I taste you here, Edward?"

"I like pretty things, Edward."

"Our love and our bond is unbreakable and unstoppable. Let me stand by your
side and we'll face them together."

"Lose the clothes, pretty boy."

"I love your son more than I ever thought possible. And he loves me. We're good
together and I think we bring out the best in each other."

"Do you think we'll ever be like that some day?"

"Married."

"I dunno, man, but your cream filling is only for me."

"Be careful, little boy, haven't you heard that if you play with fire, you're gonna
get burned?"
- 493 -
 "I'm so fuckin in love with you…"

"But I don't wanna let you go…just touch me, baby…I need to kiss you…"

"Well, hey there Santa."

"50 years from now, Edward…we'll look back at these and we'll see everything
that we've gone through or will go through to get to that point…but no matter what
ever happens…I have no doubt that this book will be filled with pictures of us
together…forever."

I watched as the first rays of daylight crept in through the window. My eyes
burned agonizingly but I refused to close them. I lay there for awhile with my
mother holding on to me, and while I was grateful…it still wasn't like when he held
me.

I heard my father sigh and my mother let go of me and rolled over to him. I
squeezed my eyes shut now and pretended to be asleep so they would just leave me
be. I couldn't handle too much interaction right now.

I felt them get up from the bed and once I heard my bedroom door shut, I opened
my eyes again.

The pain that I was would feel from time to time was unbearable…but for the most
part, I was numb. The physical agony only broke through for brief
moments…reminding me that I was still living. Other than that, I felt like the
undead. No longer breathing because my air was gone…but forced to walk among
the living pretending that I was one of them. I wasn't. I was a freak…always would
be. I didn't feel the need to act anymore…to hide it. When they took Jasper away
from me…they took my reason for breathing…for getting out of bed…for living.

The fight in me was gone. It was in Texas now. Not that I had any idea where at in
Texas…Jasper had never told me the name of the town his father lived in.

I laid in bed until nightfall. My mom and dad had come in a few times to check on
me and try to get me to eat, but I had no desire. I couldn't uproot myself from the
bed and eat. There was no point.

As the full white moon rose in the blackened sky, rays of light shone through the
window, and I finally rolled over and faced it. I watched as shadows began creeping
in and the whispers of laughter echoed in my head. I sighed, unfazed. The demons
were the least of my worries anymore and without my angel, how could I even try to
- 494 -
fight them?

If they wanted me so badly…they could have me.

I sighed again and pulled myself up from the bed. Streaks of pain reverberated
through my aching body and I cringed in agony. I held onto my ribs as breathing
was terribly painful…for more than one reason.

I walked to my door and stuck my head out. The house was quiet and still…but at
least the whispers kept me company.

I slowly crept down the dark hallway to Jasper's room. Shakily, my hand reached
for the doorknob and I closed my eyes, "Please let him in be in here…"

I held my breath as I turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open. The smell
of honey assaulted my senses and I breathed in so deeply that my body felt like it
might snap in two from the pain…but to me, it was Heavenly.

I opened my eyes as my lips turned up into a thankful smile…but he wasn't there.

His bed was there, made perfectly from the morning before school of the fateful day.

The laughter howled in my ears and I held my head in my hands and whispered
harshly, "Shut up!"

I walked over and sat on his bed. The tears burned my eyes again as the
emptiness of the room enveloped me. I laid down on his pillow and breathed it in. I
laid there for awhile, remembering the times we had laid here together. My chest
ached. My head throbbed. My eyes burned. But I felt…nothing.

The tears subsided hours later. But I still laid there until sunrise.

Eventually the door opened and my mother gasped, "Jesus, Edward, I was scared
half to death. I didn't know where you were."

I couldn't bring my eyes to hers as I stare blankly at the wall and images of Jasper
filled my vision.

She sighed, "Honey…"

I cringed at the word as it stung.

"Emmett is here to see you. Can I send him up?"

- 495 -
 I closed my eyes and nodded my head briefly.

A few minutes later, I heard a soft knock and the door opened. I opened my eyes
and continued staring at the wall.

He walked softly across the room and pulled a chair up to the bed, blocking my
line of sight.

He spoke quietly, "Edward?"

I couldn't find my voice so I closed my eyes.

I heard him take a deep breath and continue, "I…um…I grabbed Jay's backpack
from the back seat of Jane's car. I saw it when we first got there and was worried
that there might be something in it that could get him in trouble, so I grabbed it and
pretended it was mine. Here."

I felt the bed shift and opened my eyes to see his backpack lying in front of me. I
pulled it to my chest and hugged it.

My eyes were heavy but I managed to look up at Emmett. His face was torn with
emotion and I knew I should comfort him…but I couldn't do anything.

He sighed again, "Edward…look, man….I can't even think of how hard this is for
you right now. I mean, if I ever lost Rose…I don't know what I'd do. But he'll come
back…you know he'll come back the first chance he gets. He loves you. But,
Edward…you're not alone. You've got your friends…your parents…we love you, man.
We're worried about you. Please say something."

I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears began to spill over. I started sobbing
hysterically, "He's all alone…his parents hurt him…his family drags him down…he's
all alone…"

Then I felt two big strong arms around me and though they weren't quite right…I
couldn't bring myself to pull away. And he held me as I sobbed.

Eventually, my tears were dried up and I pulled away sheepishly as I looked at his
tear stained shirt, "Um…sorry."

He smiled a little, "Don't be. Feel any better?"

I shook my head, "No…not really but thanks for trying."

- 496 -
 He let out a breath and furrowed his brow, "Hey, um…I've got some news on
James, if you're interested?"

I shuddered at the name of the demon, "What?"

"Well, apparently…the morning of the fight, the cops had raided Laurent's house
and found the movies and a bunch of drugs. I guess they were running some kind of
child pornography thing and funding everything by selling drugs. They've all been
arrested and are looking at 50 + years in prison. There was a teacher involved…Ms.
Drake, the freshman Lit teacher. Anyway, they managed to escape that morning and
the cops figured that they were just out for blood because they knew they were
going down. There was a gun found underneath James car…the cops think that
when Jay hit him, it must've went flying. I doubt you guys ever even saw it. So, I
guess what I'm saying, Edward, is this could have ended a whole lot worse. You all
made it out of this with minor physical damage. One of you…all of you could have
lost your lives. Jasper will come back to you so just be thankful for that."

I sat up and nodded, "Yeah…I am…I just…God, I miss him."

He nodded softly, "Yeah, me too."

We were both quiet a few minutes when he finally spoke, "So, are you going to try
and come back to school soon?"

I shrugged, school had been the last thing on my mind, "I don't know…I guess I
will whenever my dad makes me."

Once again, he nodded softly. There was another knock at the door and my mom
walked in with a tray of food, "Here, sweetie…please eat something."

My stomach churned and Emmett sighed, "Well, I'm going to go, man. I'll stop by
tomorrow and maybe bring Brady with me if you're not at school."

I nodded, "Okay. Thanks, Em."

"Anytime, Ed."

My mother set the tray of food down and sat in the chair, "You doing any better,
baby?"

I just shrugged, "I'm not really hungry mom."

- 497 -
 She sighed and used her hand to smooth back my crazy hair that I hadn't brushed
in four days now.

"Edward…I…"

I sighed and shook my head, "Please, mom…I just really want to be alone for now."

She closed her eyes and nodded briefly, "I understand, dear. Just…remember that
I'm here…if you need…anything at all. Okay?"

I nodded, "I will, mom. Thanks."

She left the room and I'm pretty sure she was about to cry. Waves of guilt passed
through me. I hurt everybody I love. I am toxic. Everything was my fault because I
was too scared and too mental to handle things by myself.

My eyes closed as I thought back to my mother, Elizabeth.

The kitchen was freezing cold. It was winter time in Chicago and my father
insisted on keeping the thermostat set very low. I knew that he was some kind of
business man because he left the house every day in a suit and with a brief case but
I never really knew what he did. Whatever he did, he must not have made much
money because he was adamant about being frugal.

I was wearing blue fuzzy pajamas that zip up and have those feet in them, only the
feet were worn with holes. My toes were freezing and I could see my breath. My
body was shivering, but not just from the cold. My father's mere presence caused
me to be scared beyond belief.

He and my mother were talking about something…I wasn't really paying attention.
My mind was busy with the pigeons outside the kitchen window. They were sitting
on the sill as I watched. I was upset when they flew away…thinking how lovely it
would be to just be able to fly away. The freedom must be exhilarating. I wondered if
the pigeons realized how lucky they were.

I wasn't paying attention as I reached for my glass of juice. My father had told me
a million times to pay more attention…I was a dreamer and it pissed him off.

My heart stopped and I held my breath as I watched the glass shatter on the
ground.

I looked at my mother whose eyes were wide with fear for me…she should've been
- 498 -
more fearful for herself.

"Edward Anthony Masen! How many times have I told you to pay attention to what
you're doing? Are you stupid? Are you incapable of learning?" My father didn't
scream but his voice was loud and demanding of respect.

I started shivering even more as I looked down at the table and stammered,
"N…no, sir."

He slammed his hand down on the table and I jumped, "Then are you deliberately
disobeying me?"

I continued staring down at the table as tears began to form in my eyes, "No, sir."

I closed my eyes as I heard the sound of his belt buckle being undone and pulled
through the loops. He spoke once again, "Go get the bleach from underneath the
sink and scrub this floor spotless."

I was shaking so hard I could barely stay seated in my chair. I tried to move…tried
to will my body to get up…but I was terrified.

He huffed and I heard the chair scoot back from the table. When I heard the sink
door being opened, my eyes opened and flashed to my mother. Her wide eyes, filled
with tears, stared at me as she mouthed, "I'm sorry."

I hugged my knees as I rocked back and forth on Jasper's bed. Why did everyone
tell me they were sorry? It was always my fault.

If I would've just gotten up from the table…if I wouldn't have been so afraid…so
weak…

If I wouldn't have been so jealous of Brady…

If I never would've talked to James just because, once again, I was afraid and
weak…

If I could've handled myself against the neighborhood bullies so Jasper wouldn't

have felt the need to protect me…

If I would've done any of those things, the people I loved wouldn't suffer. But,
no…I'm weak, pathetic, terrified…why would anyone love me when all I caused was
pain?
- 499 -
 The whispers and laughter resonated in my ears and they were ringing as my
head ached. I groaned and buried my head in my hands.

I opened my eyes and watched shadows creeping slowly in, coming closer and
closer. I stopped rocking and just sighed…all hope was gone for me.

Then the door opened and I just knew it was him coming to save me…but instead
my father walked in.

My heart broke again.

The shadows scurried quickly away as the laughter faded. My dad looked at me
worriedly and I didn't have the energy to calm his fears. I stared blankly in front of
me and he sat down on the bed, "Son? I think we need to step up treatment for you
with Dr. Greene. I'd like for you to see him twice a week for awhile. Will you do that
for me?"

I started rocking back and forth again as I nodded. Just then, I heard the ring of a
phone and I looked down at my phone in my hand as a wide grin spread across my
face. I pulled it up to my ear, "Jay? Jasper?"

My father sighed as he pulled out his phone, "I'm sorry, son…it's mine."

He put it to his ear and I pulled mine away and looked at the picture of me and
him I had as my wallpaper. I closed my eyes and laid back on the pillow as I grasped
it tightly in my hand. Once again, I was crying. I felt the hot tears roll down my
cheeks and I jumped quickly so that I wouldn't taint Jasper's pillow. It smelled like
him…I didn't want to ruin that.

My dad was speaking with someone at the hospital for a moment before hanging
up and sighing, "I have to go in for a few hours, son. Can you…promise to call me if
you need anything? Even if it's just someone to sit with you or someone to talk
with?"

I nodded but couldn't bring myself to say anything as I continued staring at the
wall.

He leaned over and kissed my forehead before sniffling and walking away.

See, you hurt everyone who makes the mistake of loving you…

I sighed and looked at Jasper's backpack lying there on the bed. I sat down cross
- 500 -
legged and took a deep breath before pulling back the zipper. I pulled out his green
notebook and carefully opened it's pages.

I smiled a little at the messy writing. I studied each page meticulously…running

my fingertips over the raised ink. I smiled at the scribbles and doodles in the
corners of the pages. I smiled at the little picture he had drawn on one page of
Tigger and Pooh. I turned the next page and my heart fluttered at his beautiful
handwriting…

Jasper Whitlock

Jasper Whitlock-Cullen

Jasper Cullen-Whitlock

Jasper Cullen

Edward and Jasper Cullen

And then just Jasper Cullen over and over again…

He really did want to marry me. Apparently he wanted to take my name. I would
gladly give it to him if that's what he wanted. I would give him anything he asked of
me.

I pulled the notebook to my chest as I sobbed again, fearful that I would desecrate
the sacred pages with my tainted tears.

I cried for awhile until nightfall had come once again. I put the notebook on the
nightstand and reached back into the backpack. I felt Jasper's phone. I pulled it out
and went to the videos. I found the one he had made of me. I closed my eyes and
pushed play…I had no desire to see myself but I could hear the faint grunts and
moans of Jay in the background.

I listened to it probably about a hundred times before closing the phone and
putting it in his nightstand. I chuckled a little when I looked in the drawer…it had a
bottle of lube and about fifty packets of honey.

I looked at my phone again, just to make sure I hadn't missed anything. I hadn't.

I sighed and looked over at the laundry hamper. Slowly I rose from the bed and
went to it. His black hoodie was in it so I pulled off my shirt and let it fall to the
- 501 -
ground before inhaling the hoodie deeply. My ribs ached again from the deep breath
but it was so worth it.

I slipped it over my shoulders and pulled it to my nose again just so I could

breathe him in.

I crawled back into his bed and curled up on my side. I opened my phone and
went to the videos. I found the one he had sent me from Rose's house the night I was
grounded. I watched as he flashed that trademark smirk at the camera and winked
before playing and singing softly…

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl,

Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have we found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

I played it over and over again until my eyes finally forced themselves shut and
sleep took me over.

I was lying on my small twin bed, in the darkened room reading my Bible for the
hundredth time with only a small lamp to give me light. My toes were freezing, as
always, as they stuck out from the blue pajamas I always wore.

My eyes looked over the words as I said them softly to myself, "Daniel 4:13 "In the
visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger,
a holy one, coming down from heaven."

I heard giggling and then the sound of scratching along my blackened window.
Curiosity got the best of me, but for once in my life…I wasn't afraid. Slowly I rose
from the bed and crept silently to the window.

- 502 -
 I watched the black paint frantically being scratched away from the outside until
the strong rays from the sun broke through. I gasped as the warmth hit my face and
I smiled from the new found feeling.

I watched carefully as the paint was ripped from the window until more and more
light broke through.

It was then, that I saw him.

He looked to be about my age, about 6, but his skin was tan and he had golden
curls that hung loosely around his face. His eyes were the softest baby blue I had
ever seen. He smiled widely at me through the black streaked window and I blushed
at the beautiful dimples he had.

He continued scratching the paint away until almost all of it was gone. Once
again, I gasped as I looked through the window.

He was sitting perched on a tree branch that grazed my window. He was wearing
only a pair of faded old jeans, no shirt, and barefoot. Behind him were two perfect
white wings. He pressed him palm to the window and I studied his calloused
fingertips carefully and saw the black paint embedded underneath his fingernails.

Slowly, my hand rose and pressed against his through the glass. The warmth that
radiated from it was heavenly.

He smiled again and the corner of my mouth turned up in a crooked grin. He was
the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Then my bedroom door swung open and there before me was my demon…in the
guise of my father.

His face was twisted and his voice was spine tingling as he whispered, "It's time
for dinner, Edward. It's time."

The tears came quickly to my eyes as I started to tremble. He came over and
grabbed my other arm and yanked me from my angel at the window. I cried out as I
kept my eyes fixed on his. Now he was frantically beating against the glass, trying to
find some way in.

I closed my eyes for just a moment, but they shot open at the sound of glass being
shattered. I looked down to the floor and watched the cup shatter. I stopped
breathing and then I was quickly pulled underneath the table.
- 503 -
 My angel was there.

He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his wings around me. I heard the sounds
my mother made as my father released her demons.

He began singing softly in my ear and I sighed and rested against him.

Then my father screamed again, "Look, Edward! Look at them! Do you see the
demons?! Do you see them leaving?! Look, now!"

I didn't want to pull away from my angel but I was so scared of my demon. I gently
pulled myself from his wings and looked over towards my mother.

But then, he was kneeling between us, blocking my vision from the happenings on
the other side of him.

I whispered through hot tears, "Please don't…he'll see you…"

He shook his head as his golden curls bounced. His rough fingertip glided along
my cheek and wiped the tears away. He whispered, "Just like you can't see his
demons…he can't see your angel. Keep your eyes on me. Don't be afraid."

He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Luke 22:43."

I whispered, "An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him."

He nodded and we just stared into each other's eyes intently.

And I wasn't afraid as I looked at him. I drew my strength from him.

And then I felt an icy hand grab mine and yank me from my angel. I was pulled
from underneath the table as I felt the cold, steel blade being forced into my hand.

I started to cry out but then I felt him behind me. His warm hand slid over top of
mine and melted away the chill. His wings wrapped tightly around me and I felt his
other hand slide over my eyes, "Don't look, Edward. Your hand…and my
hand…forever and ever, Edward…it will always be your hand in my hand."

And the calm overtook my body as I melted into him.

Moments later I was being yanked away again and carried outside into the
darkness, surrounded by the chilly air.
- 504 -
 The trunk opened and I was thrown in it. My body ached and I looked over to my
mother…but instead I saw warm blue eyes.

He was lying next to me. He opened his arms and once again, I cuddled into his
chest as he wrapped his wings and arms around me. I felt his warm, wet tears fall
onto my face but I felt safe and warm and cleansed.

Time passed by quickly and when the trunk opened, the bright sun hurt my eyes.

My angel whispered, "Don't be afraid, Edward. I won't leave your side."

I nodded against his chest before I was ripped away again. He called out to me,
"Close your eyes! Don't look!"

I did as he said while I waited for the pain to begin…but instead I felt the warmth
of his wings surround me.

Moments later, I was being lifted as he whispered, "It's over now, Edward. You
can open your eyes."

He held my small naked body close to his chest and wrapped me in his warm
wings. I heard faint whispers around me and saw streaks of light as the murmurs
grew stronger.

He laid me onto a wooden board and rubbed his fingertips across my forehead, "I
have to go now, Edward."

I shook my head as tears began to spill again, "Please don't go…"

He leaned into my ear and whispered, "I'll be back…I'll always come back."

I reached out for him and he smiled, "Exodus 23:20."

I whispered as I watched him run away gracefully, "See, I am sending an angel

ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have
prepared."

My eyes opened to the darkness of the room. I buried my face into his pillow and
breathed in his scent again, letting it fill my lungs and calm me down.

I slowly rose from the bed and looked at the clock. It was past 3 in the morning. I
saw the shadows following me as I walked down the hallway to my room, but I was
- 505 -
indifferent to them.

I walked into my bathroom and stared in the mirror. Dull, lifeless green eyes
showcased by dark purple bags underneath…messy, weird bronze hair that had a
mind of its own…pale, fragile skin…

I sighed as I saw the faceless shadow leaning against the corner of the bathroom
through the mirror.

He whispered, "I see you…"

I hung my head down as I sighed, "I know. You always see me."

He nodded once, "You know what to do to release me."

I shook my head as I studied the ground, "I can't. I promised him I wouldn't."

He laughed merciless, "And did he not lie to you? He promised he would stay by
your side."

The tears slid down my cheek and crashed to the tile underneath me, "It's not his
fault."

He sighed, "No…it's yours. Always yours. You have destroyed your angel just like
you destroyed your mother. You're too weak…too pathetic. There's only one way to
make this right."

I don't recall how the razor blade came into my hands but I watched it glisten in
the moonlight that cascaded into the bathroom.

I whispered through tears, "I don't believe you. He will come back."

He laughed again and I shuddered, "2nd Peter, Chapter 2, Verse 4..."

I squeezed my eyes shut as I whispered, "For if God spared not the angels that
sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be
reserved unto judgment…"

The faceless shadow whispered back, "And the angels who did not keep their
positions of authority but abandoned their own home--these he has kept in darkness,
bound with everlasting chains for judgment on the great Day."

- 506 -
 I whispered again, "Jude 1:6."

The shadow laughed, "He has abandoned you…his home. He is in Hell. All hope is
lost for you, Edward. But…you can join him, if you wish."

My eyes snapped open as the anger and helplessness in me grew, conflicting and
tearing away more and more at the little sanity I clung to.

I whispered, "Please…go away…please…"

He whispered back, "Never."

I looked at my bottle of Zoloft that sat on the counter. I just needed to take my
medicine. If I took it, he would go away.

I popped open the cap and shakily poured a pill in my hand. The demon laughed
as I threw it in my mouth and swallowed.

"You think you can get rid of me that easily…you foolish, stupid boy."

I was trembling as I poured another pill out and took it quickly. He continued
laughing as I whispered, "Please…please just go away…please just stop…"

Before I realized it, the bottle was empty.

My stomach churned and my head was ringing with the loud shrill laughter in my
ears. I put my hand over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut.

I walked over to shower and quickly turned it on. It took every bit of strength I
had to pull myself in it. I slid down to the floor of the tub with my hands over my
ears and my eyes closed tight as I rocked back and forth whispering, "Please save
me…please come back…please…please…"

And then I was lost to darkness.

Pain made my eyes flash open as bright lights blinded me. I gagged at the
intrusion down my throat and heard the faint murmurs of screams and whispers
surrounding me. The taste of charcoal was engulfing every sense that I had and the
more I gagged, the worse the pain it caused.

Moments later, I was lost to darkness again.

- 507 -
 Again, bright lights blinded me, followed by haunting screams and cries. Demons
pulled at my body in all directions and the familiar burn of hell fire scorched my
body from within. I was in Hell. I was sure of it. The agony was unbearable.

I was thankful when the darkness took me again.

This happened repeatedly, sometimes the sounds would change and sometimes
the screams seemed to be my own…but I could never really be sure until the
darkness overwhelmed me again.

Eventually, my eyes opened again. They were hazy and stung as I looked at the
grey walls around me. I jumped as I looked to the window and saw the heavy steel
bars that kept me from the outside world.

Oh God…please not again…

I jumped from the bed and ran to the door…falling and stumbling along the way as
my legs were weak and fragile.

I grabbed the steel handle and pulled with everything I had but it wouldn't budge.
Tears stung my eyes as I screamed in a hoarse, soar voice, "Let me out! Please! No!
Let me out!" I kicked and hit at the door when two arms surrounded me.

I jerked away as I focused on the face standing next to me.

"Edward! You have to stop or they'll sedate you again! C'mon, man! This is the
third time you've done this! You have to stop!"

I backed up against the wall as my hands tugged roughly at my hair. Tears spilled
easily as I slid down the wall.

He came and knelt down in front of me. He put his hand on my shoulders but it
burned so I jerked away.

He sighed, "Edward? Can you hear me? Don't pass out again…stay awake."

I buried my head into my knees and sobbed hysterically for what seemed like
hours.

It must've been because when I looked up, I saw the moonlight coming in through
the window.

- 508 -
 My tears were dried now and my head ached. I sighed and he looked over from his
bed he was lying on reading a book.

He whispered, "Are you okay?"

I shook my head as I studied the ground again, "No, Tommy…I'm not okay."

He closed his book and came over to me, he knelt down again and extended his
hand, "I know you don't like to be touched, Edward…but please just let me help you
over to your bed."

I took a sharp breath as my hand reached towards his. It burned but I was too
weak to stand on my own right now. He wrapped an arm around my waist and I
shuddered as he helped me over to the bed.

Once I was sitting, he sat across from me on his bed.

I sighed, "How long have I been here?"

He whispered, "Almost three weeks."

I nodded and whispered, "Here…I saved you something to eat."

He handed me a bag of chips and a Coke. I sighed as my stomach churned, "Not

hungry."

He closed his eyes for a moment and whispered, "Edward? You've lost like 15
pounds. You really need to eat something."

I just sighed, "Food is not what I need."

I pulled myself up from the bed and braced myself on the wall as I made my way
over to the window. I sat down on the hard windowsill as my body ached. I stared at
the outside world…the world in which I no longer belonged.

I watched the sun rise and set again. People had come in and out of the room
several times but I couldn't focus on anything so I just continued looking out the
window.

Eventually, I heard my mother's voice, "Edward? Baby? Can you hear me?"

I did but I couldn't get my voice and mind to work together so I continued staring
- 509 -
out the window.

I heard her sob, "Please, Edward? Please come back. I can't lose you too. I just
can't."

The place where my heart had once been, ached again and I sighed deeply and
continued to stare out the window.

Then I heard my father's voice, "Son? I snuck your phone in here."

My head snapped to face him now as I snatched the phone and looked through it
frantically as I searched for the missed phone calls.

I started to sob and my heart was racing now, "Where is it? Where's his calls?"

My dad sighed deeply, "There haven't been any yet son. It's probably going to take
some time."

I had to bite down the anger as I murmured, "Where the fuck is he?"

I continued to stare out the window as the day passed slowly by. Eventually, the
nurses came in and forced me to take something to help me sleep.

I resigned, no longer able to fight it as sleep overtook me.

When I woke, I searched frantically for my phone but it was nowhere to be found.
Tommy sighed, "Someone probably took it, Edward. They steal everything in this
place."

I became angry as I tore through the hallways…only to be sedated and dragged

back to my room again.

Time passed so slowly in this place. Things were the same as I remembered.
Group therapy where we would sit and talk about our issues…I just sat and stared at
the windows, hugging my chest.

Dr. Greene came in twice a week for visits but I rarely spoke. He would say to me,
"Edward? You know, depression is just anger without enthusiasm. You need the
enthusiasm to get angry."

But I could barely manage to breathe all damn day, let alone, get angry.

- 510 -
 Sometimes I would break down in group and whisper about how much I missed
Jasper…I wondered where he was and what he was doing. I wondered if he was
falling apart without me…but he was tougher than I was so I was hopeful that he
would be okay. But then the other boys started teasing me relentlessly.

It was just like I remembered as I got pushed around and picked on…too weak to
fight back.

Sometimes I spoke to Tommy, he was doing better and looked to be released soon.
And then I'd be completely alone again.

I was walking in the hallway, it was in the middle of the night. It had been about a
month since I had lost my phone. I heard snickering coming from the boys bathroom
from the boys who had tortured me on a daily basis.

I pressed my ear to the door and listened…

"Wow…you're really pretty pathetic. The boy doesn't want you anymore, Jasper.
So, I think you need to quit being such a spineless pussy and accept that it's over."

Their laughter burned through me as rage overtook every ounce of my body. I

threw open the door and lunged at Hayden. My phone went flying and crashed
against the wall. I had never been so angry in all my life.

I grabbed him and threw his back against the sink as his head broke the mirror
behind him. I saw through the broken shards, two more boys coming at me.

I let go of Hayden and ducked as I turned. I saw the stainless steel bars that held
the window shut, so I lunged at one of them and caused his head to hit the bars hard
behind him.

The last one jumped on my back, but I reached behind and grabbed him by his
hair. I had no idea where the strength came but I yanked him hard and threw him to
the ground. He landed on his back with a loud thud and I just started hitting
him…over and over again until I was being yanked away by security.

The darkness overtook me again as I felt the needle plunge into my hip.

When I awoke, it was time for group. I sat there with my arms folded and a cocky
smirk on my face as the three boys from last night, sit there…bruised and bandaged.
They never opened their mouths to me again.

- 511 -
 But now I knew that Jasper had called. I had to get out of this place…get home so
I could get another phone.

Dr. Greene smiled the next morning as I walked into the office, "So, I see you
finally found your anger."

I nodded and sat down. I pulled my legs up to my chin and he sighed thoughtfully,
"Edward? When your father was hurting you…what did you do?"

I looked down at the ground and whispered, "Um…I just…cried…begged him to

stop."

He spoke again, "And when the boys at your old school use to bully you…what did
you do?"

I sighed and whispered, "Cried…begged them to stop."

He leaned forward and whispered, "What about the demons, Edward?"

I looked over at him as I furrowed my brows, "Same thing."

He smiled, "I thought you adopted a new philosophy before all this happened.
WWJD?"

I smiled just a little, "What would Jasper do?"

He nodded, "Yes. What do you think Jasper would do if he were faced by your
demons?"

My crooked grin was in full force now as I whispered, "He would tell them to fuck
off. He would fight them back."

He clapped his hands, "Very good, Edward. It's about time you start fighting back.
Your demons…only you can fight them. Only you can get rid of them because you
know as well as I do, that they only exist in your mind. Start fighting them back,
Edward. The next time you see them, think of what Jasper would do."

For the next month, I worked diligently to get well enough to be released. Tommy
had been released a couple weeks before and finally, on my 16th birthday, my mom
and dad came to get me.

School was out now and I had managed to finish up the rest of what I needed to
- 512 -
get done, my last couple of weeks at the hospital.

I hadn't seen the demons for awhile and I was anxious to get home. I ran up to my
room and turned on my computer. I smiled at the wallpaper of me and Jay on
Christmas night.

I pulled up my email and gasped when I saw 124 emails…all from Jasper.

He hadn't emailed me in over a month and my heart broke again as I read each
and every one. They started out hopeful and strong…but by the end, he seemed so
lost. He explained why it had taken so long for him to call and I couldn't imagine
how he must feel. He really thought I did something with Tommy. He really thought
I was avoiding him. He had given up.

Luckily, I hadn't. He needed me. He saved me so many times in my life…it was

time for me to save him. I answered the last email back and told him what
happened, but I doubted he would even see it. School was over in Texas too and I
didn't know if he had access to a computer outside of school.

So, I pulled up the white pages on the internet and found every Whitlock in Texas.
I pulled out my new phone and just started calling.

Two days had passed, and I hadn't found anyone who knew him yet, but I would
never give up. When I needed to take a break from the phone, I started practicing
his guitar. I pulled out his old notebooks and went through the songs and notes he
had written to teach myself. Even when he was gone…he was still teaching me new
things.

I also found a cooking website that was filled with nothing but recipes for
southern food. My parents were the guinea pigs as I tried out new recipes a few
times a week.

I had been practicing driving some more with my dad. I needed to get good at this
and I was determined to get it right.

My father was beside himself because he still hadn't found any legal ways to get
Jasper back home.

I kept myself extremely busy but I still broke down at night a lot.

On my third day, I heard a soft knock on the door and smiled when I saw Peter
walk in, "C'mon, son! It's a beautiful day and I need a fishin buddy!"
- 513 -
 I didn't really want to break away from my phone but I knew how important Peter
was to Jasper, therefore, he was just as important to me.

I smiled, "Um…Peter? I don't know how to fish. I've never done it before."

He laughed, "Psh…I can teach ya…if ya want?"

I couldn't help but laugh…no wonder Jasper loved him so much.

I walked out to his old truck and we drove for awhile until we came to a lake. He
showed me the proper way to bait a hook and even though it grossed me out a little,
it was pretty cool too.

We sat on the bank as the warm sun beat down on us. I looked over at Peter,
"How's Charlotte doing?"

He sighed, "Not so good, son. Doctor's are sayin she ain't got but a couple weeks
left. Half the time she don't even 'member who I am."

I frowned as my heart clenched for him, "I'm so sorry, Peter."

He half smiled over at me, "Thanks son…but I got damn near 52 years with her. I
ain't gonna waste no time feelin sorry for myself…for 52 years I slept with an angel
by my side. Can't be sad bout that."

I took a breath and exhaled slowly, "I miss Jasper."

He sighed, "Yeah…me too."

I looked over at his eyes, so full of knowledge and history, "What do I do, Peter?"

He smiled another half smile at me, "My pastor told me once that life is like peaks
and valleys. One minute, you can be standing on top of that mountain peak so
high…it's like ya could reach out and touch Heaven. A minute later, ya stumble and
fall down that hill to the deepest valley below. Down so far that ya can feel Hell's fire
burnin the hair on yer ass…"

I chuckled a little and he smiled, "…ya can either lay there and accept where yer
at…or ya can start climbing that hill to get to the top of the next peak. Ya gotta know
that the climb is gonna be hard and ya may even stumble backwards a few
times…but ya gotta keep climbin. Heaven's at the top of that mountain, son…ya just
gotta get there."
- 514 -
 I smiled now, "So…you think I should go after my Heaven?"

He chuckled, "Yer daddy told me he's takin ya out car shoppin this afternoon. My
advice…get a car that can drive ya all the way to Heaven, if that's where ya wanna
go."

I nodded, "Thanks, Peter…I will."

Peter took me home a little later and my dad took me out car shopping. I was
excited as we looked. He was talking to a salesman about a Mustang…I was talking
to a salesman about a Volvo.

After he assured me that it got great gas mileage, was really quite roomy, and
could handle cross country road trips, I turned to my dad, "This is it, dad."

He quirked an eyebrow, "Really? A silver Volvo?"

I nodded vehemently, "Yes, this is the one."

He looked at me strangely, "You sure you don't want something a little…sportier?"

I laughed, "No…unless you want to give me the Vanquish."

Now he laughed, "You must be crazy, son!"

Then he stopped dead in his tracks and winced at his words. I couldn't help the
laughter that overtook me. A minute later he was laughing again.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled, "It's okay, dad. I am a little crazy but I
think everyone's got issues. I'm dealing with mine and that's what's important."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, "I'm really proud of you son."

We left the lot and went straight to the license branch. I took my driving test and
passed easily. We got new plates for the car and he let me drive home by myself. I
loved my shiny new Volvo…although, I was pretty sure Jay would give me some flack
for it.

When we got back home, I grabbed a quick sandwich and ran back up to my room.
I continued going down the long list of Whitlock's in Texas.

I worked at that a few hours and decided on just one more call tonight. I dialed
- 515 -
Barbara Whitlock's number and pinched the bridge of my nose as I waited for
someone to pick up.

"Y'ello?"

"Um…yes, ma'am. My name is Edward and I'm hoping you may be able to help me.
I'm looking for a Jasper Whitlock. Do you, by chance, know him?"

The woman sighed, "Well, yeah…that's my nephew. He ain't here right now…ain't
seen him in a couple o' days, matter of fact. What'chu want with him?"

My heart fluttered and I did my best to keep my voice from squeaking, "Um, I'm a
friend of his from back in Washington. I've been trying to find him. Do you know his
phone number?"

"He ain't got no phone, son."

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, "Do you happen to have an address?"

"Well…sure I guess. It's 407 Baxter Drive. Mission, Texas."

I quickly jotted the address down as my heart raced, "Thank you so much, ma'am.
If you see him, could you please tell him that Edward called? Tell him that
everything he thought was a mistake?"

She yelled at someone in the background before sighing, "Sure, sure…"

Then she hung up. I jumped up from my computer and ran to my closet. I pulled
out my suitcase and quickly packed it. I wasn't sure exactly what I was doing, but I
knew I was going to him. I needed my angel back.

I went down to his room and packed him a bag too. I grabbed his guitars and
brought it all to my room. Once I had all our clothes packed, I walked into the
bathroom to grab my toiletries. As I glanced in the mirror, I saw the shadow leaning
against the corner of the bathroom.

He whispered, "I see you."

I took a deep breath and turned to face him. I leaned against the counter and
folded my arms across my chest.

I growled, "Fuck off!"

- 516 -
 He laughed humorlessly, "No. You are mine."

I shook my head, "No! You don't scare me anymore! You can't hurt me! You're not
even real! Now fuck off!"

He sighed deeply, "I am a part of you…"

I snickered, "The batshit crazy part…but that's not the biggest part of me. I'm not
afraid and I will destroy you. I will beat you. I am stronger than you. You can take
that shit all the way back to Hell and let all your buddies know too. You're done
fucking around with me…so, you let them all know…that Edward fucking Cullen is
done taking shit. Now fuck off."

He sighed, "We will follow you..."

I laughed and muttered, "Yeah? Well, you'll have to follow my happy ass all the
way to Texas."

I turned away and hummed to myself as I gathered my things. I was acutely aware
that I had just had an argument with air…but strangely, I had never felt more sane.

I walked back into my bedroom and put in my Ipod. I cranked it up and sang to
myself to drown out the voices. It worked.

Once everything was packed, I made sure my parents were asleep before loading
up my car. I grabbed my photo album and camera on my last trip. I smiled to myself
looking at the packed trunk. The salesman was right, this sucker was roomy.

I opened the garage door and punched in the address on the GPS. I pulled away
quickly and soon, I was racing down the highway with the windows down. The wind
was ripping through the car and the Kings Of Leon were blaring on my radio. I
couldn't help the smile that was plastered to myself.

I looked over at the photo album and ran my thumb across his picture, "I'm
coming, Jay. Just hold on a little longer, baby."

- 517 -
 Chapter 26

One of my readers asked about playlists on my you tube for this story, so I
have created separate playlists for each one. BTW, check out the Ch 1
Playlist for an insanely hot picture slideshow of Jackson Rathbone to In The
City and Ch 10 for a scorching picture slideshow of Robert Pattinson to Sex
on Fire.

So, I'm on Twitter now…the link is on my profile and I'm still trying to
learn how to use that shit so…

Thanks to everyone for all of the reviews! I'm completely amazed at all I've
gotten for the last couple of chapters. I hope you guys continue to enjoy my
boys thoroughly…I know I do ;)

Playlist: Family Tradition by Hank Williams Jr., Dead and Bloated by Stone
Temple Pilots, Make Me Bad by Korn, Animal I Have Become by Three Days
Grace, Anything Goes by Randy Houser, Whistlin Dixie by Randy Houser, and
Broken by Robert Pattinson

Jasper's POV

I groaned as I opened my burning eyes and peeled my face off of the cold hard
tile, "Mother fuckin, son of a bitch…"

I looked over at the empty bottle of Jack Daniels beside me and just shook my
head as I grumbled, "Passed out on the kitchen floor…god damn I'm fuckin
pathetic."

"Yup…and ya drank all my whiskey," my father's voice was ringing in my ears.

I pulled myself up into a sitting position and pulled out my wallet. I pulled out a
few twenties and reached them up to him, "Here…get me my own whiskey next time
ya head to the liquor store."

He took the money and shoved it in his pocket. And I just didn't have the energy to
move…so I curled back up and laid back down on the floor.

I faintly remember watching the black boots walk away and out the door before I
fell back asleep.

- 518 -
 "God damn, cuz! Ya look like refried shit!"

I opened one eye and saw dirty work boots in my line of vision. I closed my eye
and groaned, "Leave me alone, Jeremiah. I ain't in the mood to smoke."

He nudged me with his boot, "C'mon, man! Get yer stankin ass off the god damn
floor and go wash them nasty balls, son!"

I groaned and looked up at him, "Fuck off."

He let out a breath, "Alright, cuz…ya leave me no choice…"

Then he reached down and grabbed me around my waist and began lifting me up
to my feet.

My body ached and my head was ringin. I jerked from him and growled, "I said to
leave me the fuck alone!"

The fucker just smirked, "Quit yer wallerin in self fuckin pity, bro."

I clenched my fist as I grabbed onto the kitchen table to steady my woozy ass so I
wouldn't fall flat on my face, "Ya wanna nother broken leg, fucker?!"

He just folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow, "Ya really wanna
fight me, cuz?"

I sighed as my body screamed out in pain, "No…not really. Fuck."

He smirked as he pulled the joint that was tucked behind his ear, "C'mon,
man…I'm gonna smoke this joint with ya…then yer gonna wash yer stankin ass."

I pulled out a kitchen chair and he pulled out one across from me.

He took a couple tokes before passin it my way. He choked out, "So, we're gonna
go down to the swimmin hole and have us a barbecue. You comin?"

I took a hit and held it a minute before slowly exhaling, "Who's goin?"

I handed it back to him and he took another toke, "Just us sausages…ya know, the
gang and shit."

I sighed, "Yeah I guess. Not like I got anythin better to do anyway."

- 519 -
 He laughed, "Well, fuck you too cuz! You should be thankful hangin out with a
handsome mother fucker like me…schoolin ya in the ways of life and shit."

I rolled my eyes now and started laughin. I grabbed my nuts and smirked, "Ya
can't teach me nothin I ain't already learned, cuz."

Once the joint was down to a small roach, he stubbed it out and put it in his
cigarette pack.

I finally dragged my ass to the shower, not really feelin any better but at least a
little more numb. I looked in the grimy ass mirror and barely recognized the boy I
once knew. I had dark purple circles underneath my eyes, stubble startin to grow on
my chin, my eyes were bloodshot and lifeless. I looked like I felt.

Why the hell would Edward want me now anyway…

I wasn't even that good lookin anymore…well, I was still better lookin than most
guys but still…

I sighed and decided against shaving. I got the water as hot as I could stand and
just let it wash over me. I stood there with both hands against the wall and the
water pouring down my neck and face, making my curls hang down over my face as
the reality of it hit me.

I lost him…

I leaned my head against my arm and remembered back…

"…I don't wanna mess up our friendship. We're gonna be best friends forever,
right? No matter what?"

He smiled that sweet, crooked smile, "Of course, Jay, Forever. And I'm not ready
for anything but kissing anyway. I don't want this to ruin our friendship either."

He promised me forever…he fuckin lied. I didn't wanna believe that he was

screwin round with Tommy, but why hadn't he called me back? Answered one of
those god damn e-mails? Tommy wasn't even his type. Maybe he lied bout that too.
Maybe I was just convenient…someone there to scratch an itch. He was horny as
hell all the fuckin time…maybe it wasn't cuz of me at all…

I should track down Carlisle at the fuckin hospital…or Em…

- 520 -
 I let out a deep sigh…

No…I'd be better off just leavin the past behind…it'd hurt way too fuckin much to
be rejected by them too. Out of sight…out of fuckin mind, I guess. Time for me to
just move the fuck on and start livin my new life…

I ain't ever gonna be Jasper Cullen…I'm always gonna be Jasper fuckin

Whitlock…god damn it…

I couldn't even manage tears anymore, that would require way too much energy.

The next couple of weeks passed by in a hazy cloud of smoke and a slow burn of
whiskey. I had thought a couple times bout goin out and fuckin someone…anyone,
just to make myself feel better. But for some reason, I didn't think it would actually
make feel any better.

I pushed Edward to the back of my mind but he haunted me…always poppin into
my head whenever I wanted to do somethin real bad…which was often. But I kept up
my routine of workin, school, and stayin fucked up from sunrise till sundown so that
I could try to keep his images from stalking me.

I was sittin in my last period of the last day of school. I took a big swig from the
bottle of Sprite filled with vodka. It hardly burned at all anymore.

I had my arms folded across my desk and my head lyin on them. I stared out the
window and didn't bother blowing the curls that fell in front of my eyes. It didn't
really matter cuz I wasn't payin no attention to anything goin on outside. It was a
beautiful sunny Texas day…but my mind was stuck on a dark rainy sky…

I opened the front door and ran down the steps when I saw him there. Lightening
flashed and the rain stung as it hammered the ground. He was pleading for God to
save him. I dropped to my knees in the cold mud and grabbed onto him so tight I
was sure he wouldn't be able to move.

"You're okay, darlin…you're safe. Everything's gonna be okay."

His smile was brilliant and those emerald eyes were wild and bright as he reached
up with velvet fingertips and brushed them gingerly across my cheek, "I know,
angel. You got here in time. He didn't break me yet…you saved me."

I couldn't stand to watch him like this. He was so lost and I couldn't stop the flood
of tears that broke through.
- 521 -
 "Don't cry, angel. There's no reason to ever cry again…he can't hurt me anymore."

I can barely see him pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes through
the hot tears as I sobbed violently. I just held him as close as I could as I pleaded,
"Please, Edward…please stop…please be okay…please just stop…"

His soft hands cupped my face as he whispered in short breaths, "Jasper, I'm so
sorry. I'm okay now. We need to get out of the rain."

I searched his beautiful green eyes for recognition of the boy that I knew and
loved. I had to make sure that he had really come back to me…I knew I couldn't
survive if he was lost forever, "Edward?"

He nodded as his rain soaked bronze hair clung to his forehead and droplets of
water ran slowly down his blushing cheeks, "Yeah, Jay. I'm okay."

I was interrupted from my thoughts when the final bell rang. With a heavy sigh, I
lifted my head and grabbed my bottle.

"Mr. Whitlock? Stay behind for a minute. I'd like to speak with you."

I groaned and rolled my eyes, "Seriously, Mr. Naper? It's the last damn day of
school and you're gonna keep me late?"

He stood by the door of the classroom and waited until the other students were
gone before closing it.

He leaned against his desk and folded his arms across his chest. I was growing
impatient, "What the fuck did ya want?"

He sighed and shook his head, "What I'd really like to know, Jasper, is why are you
acting stupid? Are you just being lazy? What the hell's going on with you?"

I was getting pissed as I stood from the desk, "Fuck off…you can't keep me here
for this shit."

He took a deep breath, "You were in the top 5 percent of your class at your last
school. I spoke with your teachers there and each and every one of them said that
you were a little rough around the edges but that you were respectful, intelligent,
and well behaved…for the most part."

I really didn't wanna hear that shit. I sighed and took a sip from my Sprite bottle
- 522 -
before answering, "It don't matter cuz I ain't that guy no more."

He looked at me for a moment before sighing and shaking his head, "I don't
understand why you've given up, Jasper. You can do well and you can graduate and
do something with your life but only if you work for it."

I rolled my eyes, "Why the fuck do you care?"

He groaned and my breathing hitched as he closed his eyes and pinched the
bridge of his nose.

God damn it, Edward…leave me the fuck alone…

He looked at me and let out an exasperated sigh, "You are different than your
cousins, Jasper. I taught each and every one of them and they just…didn't have what
you have. You are a fighter…I can see that in your hands. So, please just answer the
question and I will leave you be. Why have you given up?"

I looked down at my scarred up hands…

"I like the way your fingertips feel. These small calluses from plucking your
guitar…I like how rough your hands are…"

His satin fingertips brushed and teased my palm, causing the little hairs on the
back of my neck to stand on end. I whispered, "Really?"

He nodded with that cute little crooked grin that I was really startin to like and I
couldn't help but smile, "Most girls think my hands are too rough…I've really
messed them up fighting and stuff."

He studied my hands carefully, his fingertips felt like silk as they traced each scar
and callous so softly…

And my heart started to speed up like it had never really done before. No one had
ever been so gentle with me. Everything about me screamed 'rough and dirty' but he
wasn't treating me like that right now. Those green eyes danced and my heart kinda
fluttered as he whispered, "Well, I like them."

I grabbed my backpack and threw it on my shoulder. I shoved my scarred up

hands in my pockets and sighed, "I ain't got a reason to fight no more."

He tried to keep talking but I just walked past him and out the door. As I hurried
- 523 -
down the hallway to escape this place and the damn memories that were playing on
repeat in my head, he called out, "What's worth fighting for, Jasper?!"

Asshole…

I practically ran outta the building to see Jeremiah waitin on me, "Hey cuz, what
took ya so long?"

I just shook my head, "Nothin, man…bunch o'bullshit."

Once we left the school grounds, Jeremiah handed me a joint and we walked as we
smoked.

Jeremiah smiled like the silly fucker he is, "So, I gotcha birthday present?"

I eyed him suspiciously, "Oh yeah…what the fuck ya get me?"

He raised an eyebrow, "We're on our way there right now, cuz. Trust me, yer
gonna thank me for this one."

Fuck…I hope it's not a damn woman…I told him I had someone back home…but I
also told him that it was over…it is over…god damn it…

My stomach was doin flip flops as we turned round the corner to my "surprise."

But then as he pushed open the door to a tattoo shop, I was a little surprised,
"What? A tat?"

He nodded, "Yup. Owner's a buddy o'mine. He'll do ya up. I got my first tat at 16.
Get whatever ya want, man."

I smiled now…this was actually a really good gift.

"Thanks, cuz…that's like…all sweet and shit."

He laughed, "Yeah…I'm a sweet mother fucker…that's why the ladies like lickin on
my dick, man…it tastes like candy."

We met up with his buddy and after lookin awhile…I picked out something that
kinda meant a whole fuckin lot to me.

It covered my whole back and took a few hours to finish but when he was done, I
- 524 -
felt good.

As we was leavin the shop, Ethan drove up in his old truck, "Hope in, ya fuckers!
The sausages are havin a night out by the lake for this young'uns birthday! Barbecue
and all that shit."

We hopped in and headed out to the lake for the night. It was just all my cousins,
the guys in my band, and a few of their friends, sittin round drinkin, smokin,
swimmin, and barbecuin a whole mess of ribs.

By the time nightfall came a bunch of women had showed up too. It was dark as
hell but the moon was bright and the fire lit up the place. I had lost track of how
much liquor I had drank and how much pot we smoked…but I was fuckin tore up.

I was sittin in the back of a truck bed, knockin back another beer when Jeremiah
came walkin up with his chick and a guitar, "Here, fucker…make yourself useful!"

I smirked as he handed me a blunt and the guitar, "It's my fuckin birthday…I ain't
here to entertain you fuckers."

He just raised an eyebrow, "Okay then…I'll just sing."

I snatched the guitar from him, "Like hell you will…ya can't sing for shit."

His chick smiled up at him, "Aww, baby…I think ya sing real good."

He rolled his eyes and took a pull of his beer, "That's just cuz I'm dickin ya down
nightly, sugar."

I set my beer down on the truck bed and took a hit from the blunt before passin it
on. I pulled the guitar in my lap and started singin "Family Tradition."

Everyone gathered round as I sung and on the hook, they all joined in…

"So, don't ask me…Jay, why do you drink? Jay, why do you roll smoke? Why must
ya live out the songs that you wrote? Stop and think it over…put yourself in my
unique position…So, if I get stoned and sing all night long, it's a family tradition!"

I played around a little more that night, and when I woke up in the mornin on that
hard ass truck bed…I felt like shit again.

The next few weeks passed by slow as molasses on a hot summer day. Jeremiah
- 525 -
had taken me to go get my license, I wasn't sure why…I didn't have no car and I
didn't have nowhere to go anyway.

I had gotten my tongue pierced one drunken night. I don't 'member how the fuck
that happened. I was startin to get worse with the drinkin and the pills. I started
blackin out a lot but somehow, I always ended up in Jeremiah's bed and he was
sleepin on the couch.

It was a Friday night and we had been doin so good in our band that we had a
show tonight and then another one tomorrow at a country bar, so we had been
practicin a lot of new music for that one.

I walked over to Jeremiah's house before the show and Daniel was gonna pick us
up there. As we were headin out the door, Aunt Barb hollered, "Oh, hey
Jasper…some boy called for ya. I think his name was Egbert or somethin crazy…"

My heart dropped as I turned to her, "Edward? Was it Edward?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment, "Yeah I think that was it. He said somethin
bout him makin a mistake or somethin…"

And my heart shattered again…

He's fuckin admittin it…God damn right he made a mistake…Mother fuckin

asshole…god damn cheatin son of a fuckin bitch…fuck it…fuck him…fuck it all…

I refused to fuckin cry anymore for that bastard. I drank a whole fuckin lot of
whiskey before the show but it didn't help numb the pain this time.

We started our set with Stone Temple Pilots, 'Dead and Bloated.'

I gripped the mic with both hands and squeezed my eyes shut as I wailed, "I am
smellin like a rose that somebody gave me on my birthday death bed…I am smellin
like a rose that somebody gave me cuz I'm dead and bloated…"

I just lost myself to it all…the music…the crowd…the overwhelming, bone

crushing pain…

We moved on to the next song and I was really feelin that mother fucker…'Make
Me Bad.'

I unleashed everythin I had on that guitar and that mic, "I feel the reason as it's
- 526 -
leaving me, no not again…it's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh make me
bad…"

The crowd was roarin and I was sweatin like a whore in church, so I pulled off my
shirt…the ladies started goin wild…it felt good to be wanted.

I saw Kaycee up front, jumpin up and down as she danced and sang along. Her
blonde hair was bouncing all around and her tits were practically fallin out of her
top. She smiled up at me and I winked back.

May not be what I want…but I've been with girls before…fuck it…I'm fuckin that
tonight…

We played a few more songs as I started flirtin with all the chicks in the place, my
ego got the little boost it'd been needin.

We finally made it to the last song, 'Animal I Have Become,' and I sang the words
with conviction cuz whatever I used to be was long gone…

I can't escape this hell

So many times I've tried

But I'm still caged inside

Somebody get me through this nightmare

I can't control myself

So what if you can see

the darkest side of me

No one will ever change this animal I have become

Help me believe

it's not the real me

Somebody help me tame this animal!

Once the show was done, I was feelin…nothing.

- 527 -
 I was backstage smoking a blunt when Kaycee slithered over to me and pulled me
down so she could whisper in my ear, "I heard ya had a birthday, Jay…wanna go
back to my place so I can give ya your gift?"

I passed off the blunt and just nodded, still not quite able to get the words out.

"Follow me, baby."

I followed her out to her car and got in the passenger seat. She was rattlin on the
whole way bout how good she was gonna suck my dick and all the things she wanted
to do to me.

I wanted to throw up.

We came to her apartment and I followed her up the stairs. She opened the door
and the second I heard it lock behind me…I wanted to run.

You've come too fuckin far to back out now, Jay…be a fuckin man and just fuck
her…

I tried to pull myself together and calm my nerves. She grabbed me and pressed
me against the door and tried to kiss me…but since I was a lot taller than her, I just
turned my head and kept my lips away as she started kissing and suckin on my neck.

She was gripping my arms and clawing me with those god damn fake ass
fingernails…that shit hurt like a son of a bitch.

Everythin she was doin was so fuckin rough and just…cold.

As she started kissin and bitin down my chest…I let my mind wander like I used to
do before…that fuckin bastard…

But my mind was fucked up right now so it went to a very dark place…

"Wake up, Jay."

I opened my sleepy eyes, "What'cha want, Sarah? You okay?"

She smiled at me with a wicked gleam in her eye that made me shiver, "I need
your help with something, Jasper. C'mon, let's go to the basement."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me off the couch I was sleepin on. We crept
- 528 -
slowly to the basement door and walked down the old wooden stairs. It was damp
and cold and I heard giggling.

When we reached the bottom, there was an old blanket laid out on the floor and
her two friends were sittin there laughing.

I pulled my hand from hers, now a little freaked out, "What do ya want my help
with?"

She laughed and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. She leaned down to my
ear and whispered, "Kayla and Erin think that you'll be too scared to fuck…I think
you won't. We've been doing a lot, Jasper…it's time for the next step."

I pulled away and looked up at her with disgust, "No! I ain't ready yet…I don't
wanna…"

Her friends burst into laughter and she snickered like the evil bitch she was, "Oh,
come on Jay! Stop being such a whiny little girl! A real man would jump at the
chance to fuck me!"

She grabbed my hand and yanked me over to the blanket, practically pullin my
arm out of the socket. Her friends were giggling, "Sarah, he looks like he's about to
cry…that's so pathetic…"

"He's just a baby…maybe you should go find someone actually worth fucking…"

She looked down at me cuz she was taller, bein 3 years older than me. She rolled
her eyes, "Quit being such a little pussy! If you don't have the balls to go through
with this…I swear to God that all of your little buddies who think you're so fucking
cool…I'll tell them how scared you are of girls…I'm trying to help you, Jay…I know
you're a little faggot…"

My chest was heaving as her words cut through me like a knife, "I ain't a fuckin
faggot and I ain't scared!"

She smiled now as she reached down and yanked my sweatpants and boxers
down, "We'll see about that…"

She pushed me down on the blanket and started suckin my dick. I closed my eyes
as hate and disgust ran through me. When she said I was ready, she pulled off her
nightgown and laid down next to me.

- 529 -
 She pulled me on top of her and reached down and grabbed me roughly, helping
me to get it in…while her friends giggled.

It didn't feel like I thought it would…I expected sex to be some cosmic explosion of
pleasure and happiness…but I just felt scared and humiliated.

I slowly started moving as her nails scratched hard down my back and I hissed in
pain. She called out, "C'mon, Jay…harder…faster…"

So I started tryin to do it the way she wanted but I guess it wasn't good enough
cuz she groaned and rolled her eyes as she pushed me off her and onto my back.
She crawled on top of me mumbling, "Damn it, Jasper…do I have to teach you how
to fuck too? Can't you do anything right?"

She slammed down on top of me so hard that my body screamed out in pain but I
bit my lip to stifle the yelp. She was tearing at my chest with her nails and riding me
so hard, I didn't know if I was gonna be able to cum at all cuz it hurt.

I could feel my eyes welling up and I squeezed them shut and just prayed that
she'd be done soon.

Eventually, she rolled off of me and with heavy breaths she screamed out, "What
the hell is wrong with you?! You can't even stay hard long enough for me to get off?!
You're fucking worthless! You're going to need a hell of a lot more practice if you
ever expect anyone to want to fuck you…"

With that she pulled on her nightgown and they all got up giggling about how
pathetic and useless I was. I heard them climb the stairs and leave.

I laid there, tears finally spilling over as I curled up on my side and cried like a
god damn baby.

After awhile, I pulled myself up and put my sweats back on. I stumbled up the
stairs and into the kitchen. It was a little after 3 in the mornin and I had no idea
where mama was.

I saw a small pint of vodka sittin on the counter, so I grabbed it and my blanket off
the couch. I locked myself in the bathroom and curled up. The vodka burned
something awful but I just wanted to feel something…anything different than what
I was feelin. Eventually, I passed out on the bathroom floor.

I opened my eyes and looked down as fingernails dug into my thigh and her other
- 530 -
hand wrapped tight as hell around my limp dick. She smiled up at me, "Don't
worry…I'm gonna get ya there. By the way, I love your new tat. You're my angel
now."

And as she opened her mouth…another memory came floodin back to me…

"Jasper, it doesn't matter what you say…no one has the right to make threats and
push you into doing something you don't want to do. I know that it may hurt your
reputation but you do have a choice. You can say no."

I grabbed her shoulders and pulled away from the door, stumbling around trying
to pull my jeans back up, "Kaycee, stop! I'm sorry…I can't do this!"

She stood up and glared at me, "What the fuck?! Ya can't back out now!"

I was drunk as hell and havin trouble tryin to stay away from her and pull my
jeans up as she stalked toward me.

"The fuck I can't! I don't want this! I don't want you! I'm fuckin leavin!"

I grabbed my shirt that was thrown over the couch and had my jeans up but not
buttoned yet.

She was red and screamin so loud I was sure someone would call the cops, "I can't
believe you! What type of man turns down a fucking blowjob?! What's wrong with
you?!"

Now I was seein red as I stalked right back and backed her up against the door…I
didn't touch her but I screamed as the anger in me just boiled over, "What the fuck's
wrong with me?! You're 22 years old…I'm fuckin 16! You're a fuckin grown ass
woman and I'm a god damn kid! You've been beggin to suck my dick for two god
damn months! What the fuck's wrong with you?! Ain't nothin wrong with me 'cept
lettin fuckin whores like you make me feel bad and fuckin use me for your own
personal fuck toys! I'm done with this shit!"

I reached out for the door knob and she pushed against my chest, "I swear to God,
Jasper…if ya walk out that door, I'm gonna tell every…"

I cut her off and screamed again, "What?! You're gonna tell everyone that I didn't
wanna let you suck my dick?! That you couldn't get me hard?! Tell anyone whatever
the fuck ya wanna tell 'em…I don't give a fuck what any fuckin body thinks of me!"

- 531 -
 I grabbed the door and swung it open as she screamed out, "You're a fuckin
worthless bastard!"

I just yelled as I ran down the stairs, "Fuck off ya pathetic evil bitch!"

Once I got outta the apartment complex, I just started walkin down the street
back home. It was dark as hell with no sounds but the crickets chirpin. It was real
fuckin humid too and I found myself prayin for rain. It had only drizzled a couple
times since I been here. I looked up at the clear midnight sky at the full white moon
and thought back to when I hated the rain…

"Five fuckin days in a row! Are you kiddin me? I hate the fuckin rain!"

Edward and I were walking back to his house after school. We were 14 and it had
only been a couple months since we started our night time activities. It was pouring
down hard and the sky was gray. We were both soaking wet.

He smiled over at me with that cute crooked grin, "I love the rain."

I rolled my eyes, "Why on earth would ya like this shit, Eddie?"

He shrugged and looked up to the sky. He stopped and dropped his back pack as
he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Then with eyes still closed and facin
towards the sky, he smiled, "It's cleansing…it washes away everything and makes it
new…you get to just start all over and let the rain wash all the bad things away…I
love the rain."

I watched him standing there, drenched in his chocolate t-shirt and blue jeans. His
bronze hair clung to his forehead and cheeks, his cheeks were flushed and pink, and
his lips were dark red.

God, he's really something…

Then he opened his eyes and looked at me, "Come on, Jay…I'm going to teach you
how to enjoy the rain."

I raised an eyebrow as he started pulling his shoes off and rolling up his jeans.
"What the hell are ya doin, Edward?"

He laughed, "Take your shoes off and roll up the bottom of your jeans to your
knees."

- 532 -
 I shook my head and laughed, "No fuckin way, man. C'mon let's just get to your
nice, dry, warm house."

He looked up at me with those pretty green eyes and looked so fuckin hopeful as
he whispered, "Please, Jay. Don't you trust me?"

I sighed, "God damn it, Edward…" and then I leaned over and started takin off my
shoes and rollin up my jeans.

He giggled and I smirked at him, "Just cuz you're all cute and shit don't mean I
can't say no to ya, Eddie."

His cheeks turned redder and he smiled over at me, "You really think I'm cute?"

I just shook my head and laughed, "Fuckin adorable, Edward."

He looked away and bit his lip for a second, "Um…I think you're really cute too,
Jay."

I smiled as I stood up now, "Yeah, well I am, so…"

He now laughed and shook his head, "So damn cocky…"

I smirked, "Ya know you love it."

He smiled and nodded, "Yeah…I really do."

We were by the woods close to his house. It was pretty secluded out here,
especially on days like today. He grabbed my hand and pulled me off a little deeper
in the woods until we were out of sight of the road.

"What are we doin, Eddie?"

He smiled as he jumped in a puddle and splashed mud and water all over our legs,
"Puddle jumping. Try it…it's fun."

I groaned, "I feel like a stupid kid!"

He laughed, "You are a stupid kid…now jump!"

He grabbed my hands and pulled me along as he ran through the mud and jumped
along, splashin in each puddle on the forest floor. After awhile, I kinda started likin
- 533 -
it too. We ran and just goofed off, playin around in the mud and water until we were
covered.

Then as he jumped in one, he slipped in the mud and fell, but he grabbed onto me
and pulled me down on top of him.

We were laughing hysterically as we laid there in the mud. But then…the

atmosphere started changin a little and as I looked down into his dark green
eyes…my heart started racin. Our faces were only a few inches from each other and
I could feel his warm breath on my lips.

His pretty bronze hair was caked in mud and clinging to his face, as my curls were
dripping muddy water down onto his pink cheeks.

We just stayed like that for a minute as the rain poured down all over us. When I
thought I couldn't handle it anymore, I whispered, "Edward? Am I…um…am I only
s'posed to kiss you in your bedroom? Cuz I really wanna kiss ya right now..."

He smiled as his blush got deeper. He reached up and wrapped his arms around
my neck and his soft, smooth fingers curled into my hair, "Um...anytime you want,
Jay. You can kiss me anytime you want."

I smiled widely and he flashed that little crooked grin. I leaned down and brushed
my lips against his and I couldn't help myself from whispering, "You're more than
cute, Edward…you're really kinda…beautiful."

Then I tugged on his lip with my teeth and tasted my beautiful boy.

And he was right, even though we were both caked in mud and lookin like two
drowned house cats…I actually did feel kinda…new.

I fuckin loved the rain…

Eventually, I got to my house. My dad was sleepin on the couch so I crept to my

room and finally passed out on the futon.

"Get up, fucker!"

I opened my eyes and groaned, "The fuck ya want, cuz?"

He looked upset bout something, "I wanna fuckin talk to you! Ya went home with
that god damn slut last night, didn't ya?"
- 534 -
 I pulled myself up to a sittin position and held my throbbin head in my hands,
"Yeah, so?"

He sighed, "Jasper, what the hell are ya doin? Ya need to stay away from that god
damn cougar! Ya don't know what that bitch has and…you're better than this shit,
man."

He sat down next to me and took a deep breath, "I know we drink and smoke a lot
round here, cuz…I know you're doin a bunch o'pills too. I'm worried bout ya. I do a
lot of partyin too but not when I'm workin and shit. You was takin that shit to school
with you…you've been changing a lot lately. You ain't like this, cuz…what's goin on?
Is it that chick back in Washington?"

I closed my eyes and just whispered, "It's everything, man. I can't do this shit…I'm
gonna end up just like my daddy…a god damn drunk…the apple don't fall from the
fuckin tree."

He pulled out a cigarette and handed me one. He lit it and took a drag and as he
exhaled he sighed, "I s'pose you're right…the apple don't fall from the tree…but
after time, it can roll away, Jay. When the cops called your daddy and was talkin to
him bout ya…I was there and I heard it all. Some cop named Jones was telling him
bout how good you was doin up there in Washington. Said you hadn't gotten in no
trouble for a long time…you was doin real good in school…and that you was stayin
with a doctor who was takin real good care of ya. He practically begged your daddy
to let ya stay…but Uncle Wayne's a hard nosed bastard who thought ya needed to be
with your real family. I think you was better off where ya was."

I looked up at him a little surprised now, "Really? Jones did that?"

He nodded, "Yup…not all cops are pig nosed pricks…most of em but not all.
Anyway, ya need to snap outta this shit, man. I ain't got much longer here to look
after ya and I don't wanna have to worry."

"What are ya talkin bout, Jeremiah?"

He smiled, "Candace is gonna have a baby. We're gonna try and work shit out, ya
know…make a real family. So…I joined the army. I'm leavin in three weeks."

My eyes got wide, "The fuckin army! You're leavin?!"

He nodded, "Yeah, Jay…time for this apple to roll away. Look, man…I gotta baby
to worry bout now. If I stay here, the chances of me ever doin good by him are
- 535 -
pretty fuckin low. I gotta get away from this place…it's fuckin toxic. I ain't got many
options, cuz. The army seemed like the best one."

I took a deep breath…I hated to see him go. We had actually gotten real fuckin
close and shit…without him here, I'd definitely go fuckin crazy.

But I couldn't deny him his chance at happiness so I smiled, "That's great, cuz.
You're gonna be a daddy. The kid'll be one good lookin son of a gun."

He started laughin, "Damn right about that, cuz! Now go get your stankin ass in
the shower! We got shit to do 'fore I leave."

I nodded and went to go shower. I stared at myself in the mirror again. I looked
like shit…and I was tired of it. I thought back to Peter…fuck, I missed him…

"Bullshit! Now I want you to listen to me, son, and listen good…you are a good
boy. You deserve people to treat you right. But I see that wildfire in your eye, son. I
have that same one…that wildfire in your eye tells me just how easily you can go one
way or the other. I spent so much time in my youth believing that I wasn't worth
nothing…so I acted like how they thought I would. I drank and ran wild and got into
trouble at every turn because I believed my pa when he told me that I weren't no
good. Don't you believe 'em, son. You are a good boy who can do good things and
live one hell of a good life…but you gotta let all that bullshit go, Jasper.
Anger…rage…hate…those things will consume you from the inside out if you let 'em.
You gotta let it go, son. Just let it all go."

I might've been a kid still, but it was bout time I became a man…a real man. I
faced down that bitch last night and didn't cave in like I used to do. I needed to get
my shit together. And fuck it, I needed Edward. I don't give a fuck what
happened…Mr. Naper asked me what was worth fightin for…Edward's worth fightin
for.

I had to get to Washington, had to see him and find out why he did what he did.

And I had to pray to God that there was some way we could work this shit out.

I took a long, hot shower and felt a little better when I was done. Me and Jeremiah
walked over to his house and I ate some biscuits and gravy…the first real meal I had
eaten since I got here.

I quit takin the pills, only drank beer and slowed down on it, and only smoked pot
after 7pm…I figured that was a pretty good start.
- 536 -
 I still needed to get a car but I didn't have enough money saved yet.

The next few days passed by and I actually felt a little better, even though some of
the guys were givin me some shit, sayin I was tryin to go all clean and shit…fuckers.

It was Friday night and I had a show that night at the redneck bar. I drank a
couple beers and smoked a joint, then cut myself off.

I loved playin here…this was my kinda place.

We began the set with 'Whistlin Dixie', I had on my old faded jeans that were all
torn up, my black cowboy boots, black cowboy hat, and a black wife beater. I was
lookin all good and I fuckin knew it…

I started on the guitar and stepped closer to the guitar with that cocky ass smirk
on my face that I had kinda missed, "Yeah I like to run with the old dogs, learn bad
habits from my pa pa, I got a in with the outlaws, and I can only sing like I talk
ya'll…"

By the time I got to the chorus, I was wailing, "Cause I'm the son of the son of the
south, daddy redneck, momma half hippie, taught how to talk straight not back, or
my little white butt get a whippin, I like catfish cookin on a creek bank, kind you
can't find in the city ya'll, I aint just whistlin Dixie…"

We played a few more and wrapped it up with the redneck staple, "Free Bird."

When we were done, I felt better than I had in a real long time. I was standin off
the side of the stage, drinkin a bottle of water when I heard on the mic, "Um…hi, I'm
Edward Cullen…"

Holy fuckin mother of God…

My head whipped around to see Edward…my Edward sittin on a barstool with a

guitar in his lap. His hair was wild and his face was bright red.

He's even more fuckin beautiful than I remembered…

He cleared his throat and smiled while lookin out at the crowd who stared back at
the boy who obviously didn't fit in at this place.

I'll beat every mother fuckers ass in this whole god damn bar if they fuck with
him…
- 537 -
 His crooked grin was in full effect, "Um…I know I don't exactly…um…fit in here
but I paid the owner a shit load of money to get up here and play a song so…" he
started laughing, "I guess you have no choice but to listen…mwah ha ha ha…"

The crowd started laughin and I was grinning ear to ear…

Edward's here…he's really fuckin here…and the boy's got some balls of steel…

He cleared his throat a little and smiled again, "Um…okay, so the love of my
life…my very best friend…left a few months ago and I was kinda going through a
rough time…"

He started laughin again, "Fuck it…I spent two and a half months locked up in a
psychiatric facility. Don't worry though, I'm not going to flip out and try to take you
all down, so you can relax…"

That's why he was with Tommy…what the fuck happened to my baby boy…

The crowd laughed again and he looked down for a minute before returning back
to them, "The thing is…this person that I'm in love with…they think I did something
that I didn't do…my phone was stolen and some jackass played a very mean
prank…"

Oh thank you God…fuckin thank you…he didn't cheat…he's still mine…

Then he started laughing again, "I did, however, take that guy down. I did a lot of
soul searching and faced my demons…well I told them they could fuck off and follow
my happy ass all the way to Texas…"

I shook my head and laughed…Edward was different…but it was fuckin beautiful…

He cleared his throat again and sighed, "I wrote this song that I'm going to play
and um…I'm not the best singer in the world but you'll just have to suffer through
because…like I said, I paid the owner a shit load of money…"

Everyone was laughin again, it was easy to be smitten by Edward…

He smiled, "So, I guess what I'm tryin to say to this person is…"

He looked over at me with that beautiful crooked grin, "…I meant it when I said
forever too."

- 538 -
 I was tryin real hard and shit to keep the tears from comin…this was not the place
to fuckin cry…

But my heart was racin and I couldn't stop smiling…

He spoke again, "This song is called Broken."

I leaned against the stage and watched my beautiful boy in awe…he was playin
guitar and singin in his raspy sexy voice…

I was tied, but now unbound

My head is off the ground

For a long time I was so weary

Tired of the sound, I've heard before,

The gnawing of the night time at the door,

Haunted by the things I've made

Stuck between the burning light and the dust shade.

I said now I used to think the past was dead and gone,

But I was wrong, so wrong, whatever makes you blind

Must make you strong, make you strong,

In my time I've melted into many forms

From the day that I was born, I know that there's no place to hide

Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light,

I was broken, For a long time, but It's over now.

Yes and you, and you,

well you walk these lonely streets that people send, People send.

- 539 -
 There are some wounds that just can't mend, I do pretend, pretend,

I am free from all the things that take my friends

But I will stand here till the end, I know that I can take the moon,

In between the burning shade and the fading light

I was broken, for a long time, but It's over now

I was broken, for a long time, but It's over now.

The crowd roared for him and he once again turned bright red as he laughed, "I
cannot believe I just had the balls to do that. Um…thanks."

He hopped off the stool and waved once to the crowd as they cheered. Our eyes
were fixed on one another's as he walked over to me.

He smiled shyly at me, "Hi, Jay."

I smiled back, "Hi, Eddie. C'mon." I turned around and made sure he was
following me as we walked down the back of the stage and out the back door to the
back of the building.

The second the door shut, I grabbed him and pinned him against the wall. There
was no hesitation as my lips crashed to his and deepened the kiss instantly, tasting
my baby boy again after the longest four months of my entire fuckin life.

He moaned into my mouth as his fingers gripped my hair and mine wrapped in
those beautiful bronze locks. That moan did me in and I pushed myself into him hard
as fire coursed through my veins.

He gasped, "Holy shit, you got your tongue pierced."

I smiled and ripped my shirt over my head, "That ain't all I got, Edward."

I turned around and showed him my back. He gasped as his fingers glided shakily
along the ink and he whispered, "Wings…you've really got wings now."

I smiled at him over my shoulder, "Yeah, baby…that way ya know you're not crazy
the next time ya see them."

- 540 -
 He leaned over and kissed my shoulder blade gently as he whispered, "My
angel…I missed you."

Goose bumps erupted all along my skin as I whispered, "I missed you too, darlin."

I turned back around and kissed him softly this time. I whispered against his
perfect lips, "I love you so much, Edward. Thanks for comin and savin me."

He whispered back, "I love you too, Jasper. So much…"

And then, the door swung open and I quickly pulled away from Edward. We were
both standin there flushed and pantin as I looked over at Jeremiah. He looked at the
joint in his hand, then at us, then back at the joint, "Jesus Christ this is some strong
shit…"

I couldn't help it as I started laughin hysterically…I was fuckin giddy, yeah I said
it…fuckin giddy.

I shook my head, "No, cuz…I really was kissin him."

He looked at Edward for a minute and I was on guard cuz I loved Jeremiah but I
would seriously fuck his shit up if he did something stupid towards Edward.

Then he broke out into a big grin, "You must be Edward."

I furrowed my brow, "How the hell did…"

He smirked, "Ya silly mother fucker, ya been sleepin at my house for damn near
four months and ya talk about this boy every god damn night in your sleep."

Edward laughed and my mouth hung open, "Why didn't ya ever say anything?"

Jeremiah shrugged, "I dunno…didn't wanna make ya uncomfortable and

shit…besides it's a little weird to me but ya know…whatever, we're family. Don't
worry though, no one else ever heard ya and I ain't gonna tell no one. I don't think
it'd be a good idea for you to say anything either. Ya know how this family is."

I nodded, "Yeah…thanks, man."

He smiled, "No problem. So, ya gonna introduce me ya rude ass bastard?"

I laughed, "Edward, this is my cousin Jeremiah. Jeremiah, this is my…boyfriend,

- 541 -
Edward."

Edward smiled, "Nice to meet you, Jeremiah. You and Jay could almost pass for
twins."

He smirked, "Yeah…he's a lucky son of a bitch to look like me."

Edward laughed, "You act alike too."

I just smiled at my beautiful boy, it was so good to see him laughin.

Jeremiah smiled, "So, where ya'll headed? I figured ya come here to drag this
sorry son of a bitch back to Washington with ya."

And then reality hit me, "Edward…if I come up missin…the first place my dad'll
look will be back in Forks."

Edward looked at me with that little evil grin, "Well, we don't have to go to Forks.
Where do you want to go?"

I raised an eyebrow, "What'cha sayin, Eddie?"

He just shrugged, "I've got a whole lot of money, a brand new car, and a whole
summer to kill. Let's just drive…see where we end up."

I shook my head, "Ya can't be serious…what about your mom and dad?"

He smiled, "I've talked to them and…they weren't happy but they understood.
They just told me to check in with them twice a day and let them know where we
were. Dad said he'd give me this summer because he knew how bad things have
been for me…and because he knew he really had no other choice. So, I called
Emmett. You remember his dad has that cabin out in Michigan? He said he'd
overnight me the keys if we wanted to go there and stay awhile."

I looked at Edward and I was fuckin amazed, "We're gonna spend the whole
summer together? In Michigan?"

He nodded, "Yep…oh, and um…I called Peter. He said that he's going to try and
work out something with your dad while you're gone. He said that if he can get
anything done, he'll call and let us know."

I couldn't stop myself from reaching over and kissing his pretty red lips. Jeremiah
- 542 -
coughed, "Whoa! Hetero cuzin standin right here, dude! That shit's gonna take me a
little getting used to."

I pulled away laughing and Edward was bright red.

Edward smiled at me, "Are you ready to go? We can swing by your place and pick
your things up…I mean, if you haven't…um…you haven't found someone else have
you? You still want to be with me, right?"

I smiled, "Yeah, darlin…you're all I've ever wanted…all I ever will want. Let's go
get my shit…my dad shouldn't be there for awhile."

Jeremiah smiled, "Well, cuz…I ain't good at good byes and shit…so…just call me
sometime. I know ya wanna break away from the family…but we're cool, right?"

I smiled and pulled him into a one arm man hug, "Yeah, ya silly fucker, we're cool.
Take care of yourself, man. When I get an address, I'll let ya know cuz I expect some
letters from ya when you're halfway cross the world kickin ass, holdin it down for
the Whitlock's and shit."

He laughed, "And I expect ya to use that fuckin dome of yours and graduate. Now,
roll away little apple…"

We let go and he held out a hand to Edward, "Ya'll be safe."

Edward shook his hand and smiled, "We will, Jeremiah. It was nice to meet you."

He nodded and turned to me. He pulled out his wallet, "Here…take my license…ya
can't get a motel room unless you're 18...trust me, I know, I used to try all the time.
Ya look enough like me that it should work…just don't do nothin stupid and don't get
in no trouble."

Edward sighed, "Yeah, I got a room last night, but only because my dad called and
got it for me. I've been pretty much sleeping in the car."

I took it and put it in my wallet, "Thanks, man. I won't get in no trouble."

He smiled, "I know ya won't. Bye, cuz."

I smiled back, "Bye, cuz."

I really was gonna miss that silly mother fucker…

- 543 -
 Edward smiled at me, "Come on, Jay. My car's around front."

I followed him around to the parking lot and laughed, "A silver, shiny Volvo!"

He furrowed his brows, "What? It gets great gas mileage and it has a ton of room
and…fuck off, I like my Volvo."

I laughed as I held up my hands, "I'll back off the Volvo, man…"

We drove back to my house and he told me about what happened. My stomach

churned and I felt so fuckin bad for what he went through. I can't believe I ever
thought he'd give up on me.

I packed my stuff quickly and we were back in the car and on the road in no time.
He had the moon roof open and the windows down cuz it was muggy as shit out
here…still no rain.

My heart was beatin outta my chest and I couldn't keep the grin off my face. He
let me drive this time and he looked over at me, "So, um…Jay? You haven't…been
with anyone, have you?"

I shook my head, "No, baby…I ain't been with nobody."

His crooked grin and that crazy fuckin sex hair already had me hard as hell and I
didn't know how much longer I could take 'fore I turned off at a motel…but I wanted
to get outta town first.

He smiled, "So,…um…are you…are you ready, yet?"

I smiled back, "Yeah, darlin…I'm ready."

- 544 -
 Chapter 27

Okay, sorry for the long delay but RL was kickin my ass sideways this
week!

So, one of my lovely readers has nominated my lil' ole story for an award at
the slashy awards. Here's the link, check it out and vote! There are some
amazing slashy stories out there right now and a ton of categories…

http://www (dot) theslashawards (dot)

blogspot(dot)com/?zx=3d9759cc75877fd9

Playlist: After Tonight by Justin Nozuka, Angel by Massive Attack

As always, there is a Playlist on my you tube and the link is on my profile.

One last thing, my girl, Philomina has drawn a few more pics of the
boys…I plan on having one as my new avatar soon…Thanks, darlin, you
fuckin rock!

Edward's POV

I looked over at my angel boy's beautiful face as he graced me with that heart
pounding, dick throbbing, head spinning dimpled grin, "Yeah, darlin…I'm ready."

I had been thinking about this…just sitting this close to him again for the last four
months. Now that it was really happening, I could feel the crackling sparks of
electricity and the thick cloud of desire in the air, enveloping me completely as I
reached out my hand and brushed my fingertips along his thigh.

While it was somewhat difficult for me to be brave and bold…I had found that the
rewards were exponentially worth the risk.

We had only kissed for a couple of minutes outside the bar before his cousin had
walked out. We hadn't chanced any touching at his father's house so that we could
just get his stuff and get out before his father got back home.

Walking into that house, the stench of alcohol assaulted my senses and once I
harbored a look around, my stomach turned at the thought of how my beautiful,
sweet Jay had been living these last few months. When I walked into his bedroom, I

- 545 -
wanted to cry. It was as if he had been transported back in time to the first time he
let me in his house.

And then when I saw him reach underneath his pillow and pull out the picture of
all of us…my eyes did get teary. He slept with our picture underneath his pillow
each night…God, I loved him.

He didn't have much but he grabbed a few things and we rushed out of there
quickly. He asked if he could drive and I let him. It felt so good to see him smiling
and happy…I would do everything within my power to make sure he always felt that
way.

My thoughts were pulled back when I heard his breathing hitch and saw him
twitch through his light denim jeans. My fingertips played lazily along the fabric
climbing slowly higher and higher and then slower still inward. He looked
different…still completely beautiful but his hair was slightly longer, extending just a
bit past his chin, the sun had left rich gold and white highlights that lightened his
honey hair even more, his skin had, once again, been kissed by the sun to a deep tan
hue that made my mouth water for its warmth.

He looked over at me for a moment before returning his eyes to the road. The
perfect dimpled grin had yet to leave his cheeks as he spoke softly, "I can't believe
ya drove all the way to Texas, Edward. When I left, you could barely drive to
McDonald's. Ya must've worked really hard. I just…can't believe you're really here."

I laughed quietly, "Yeah…it took a lot of practice to get good at the driving thing
but…I had to get here. You thought…how could you think those things, Jasper? How
could you think that I could possibly be with anyone else?"

I watched as he took a deep breath, and then he pulled off the main road onto an
old dirt path.

"Where are we going, Jay?"

He sighed, "We need to talk, Edward. There's a small clearing up here and it's all
secluded and shit…no one comes out here. We need to really talk and I don't wanna
wait another couple hours 'fore we get outta town and to a motel."

My anxiety started to grow as we drove through the heavily wooded area. It was
pitch black out here, in the middle of nowhere and I started to worry that maybe he
hadn't told me something important that happened.

- 546 -
 Eventually, we came to a small clearing, almost completely enclosed by tall, dark,
full trees and brush.

He brought the car to a stop and turned off the engine. He turned in his seat and
reached out for both of my hands. I started to calm down immediately under his
touch. His calloused fingertips rubbed soft, soothing circles on the backs of my
hands as he spoke quietly, "Edward…I wasn't in a very good place without you. I
know that you've always thought of me as the strong one…but I think this all proves
that you are, darlin. I mean, yeah, I can go out and whoop some ass all day long but
…when it comes to you, Edward, to losing you…I'm not strong at all."

He shifted a little and took another breath, "I've spent the last few months so
fucked up that I could barely function…if it wasn't for Jeremiah…I have no idea what
shape I'd be in right now. He looked after me and made sure I made it home every
night but…I just…fuck, Edward, I didn't wanna function without you. I fuckin fell
apart. And when I couldn't reach you…and then that asshole told me bout you and
Tommy…I was just so fucked up that I wasn't thinkin straight. You've changed so
much…you're so strong, the way you've fought through everythin all by yourself just
to come and save my sorry ass…I'm so sorry, Edward. You were sufferin so bad and I
just fell apart…I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before whispering, "Jay, I wasn't
alone…just because you weren't standing next to me…doesn't mean you weren't
there. Miles may have separated us but we have never been apart…you're a part of
me, just as I am of you…we were both going through hell…the important thing is
that we made it out. I watched the show you put on and you weren't fucked up for it
so you must not have been doing as bad as you think…"

He sighed and shook his head, "I just started gettin cleaned up this last week,
Eddie. I was tryin to save up enough money to come back to you…back home. I
needed to talk to you and even if you had been with someone else…I woulda tried to
work things out anyway. I just…I can't be separated from you ever again, Edward. I
just…can't."

I smiled softly at him and lifted my hand to brush my fingertips across his cheek.
He sighed contently, closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. I reveled at the effect
I still had on him. With me, he let his guard down…he showed his vulnerabilities…he
was just…stunning.

"Jay? Can I ask you something?"

His eyes opened and he smiled at me, "Anything, baby."

- 547 -
 I trailed my fingertips down his neck and across his shoulder, tracing the ink that
began there, "Um…if you thought we were over…why did you get the tattoo? Why
the wings?"

His eyes were hooded now and I felt the electricity begin to crackle and spark
around us. He brought his hand up and clasped it around the back of my neck,
pulling me closer. Our faces were mere inches apart as he looked at my lips then
slowly back to my eyes. He whispered softly, "No one's ever called me an angel
before…truth is, I liked it. I wanted to be your angel…be beautiful and good…and in
my heart I knew…this thing between us, Edward…it ain't ever gonna be over."

My heart was racing as his eyes closed as his lips brushed mine. Our lips parted
and the sweet honey of his breath washed over me as I breathed him in. Our tongues
dances slowly, intertwined and needy for the other…his other hand came to my hip
as his rough fingertips pushed up the fabric of my shirt gently to grip onto my skin
and pull me closer still. The feel of the steel in his tongue sliding over mine was
quickly making my pulse rise and my skin become heated and flushed.

My hand on his shoulder slid back up to the nape of his neck and my fingers found
their home, wrapped tightly in golden curls. My other hand grasped onto his bicep
and relished the feel of his heated skin beneath my fingertips.

He moaned softly into my mouth and the sparks began to burn hotter as his hand
on my hip, slid tenderly across my stomach until reaching the button of my jeans
and popping them open.

Now it was my turn to moan into the sweet, soft kiss that was rapidly picking up
steam. Slowly, click by click, he pulled the zipper down. My hand on his bicep slid
down to the bottom of his black wife beater and pushed it up over his tight stomach
as I gingerly played with the button of his jeans.

I felt the corners of his mouth turn up and he broke from the kiss with a beautiful
dimpled grin. I was breathing heavily and gasped out, "What? Why'd you stop?"

He whispered, "Push your seat all the way back and lay it down."

Breathlessly, I whispered, "Oh…okay."

I quickly pushed my seat back and laid it down as far as it could go. He grinned
again and the magnificence in it caused my already shallow breathing to hitch once
again as he climbed over the console, laughing softly at the awkwardness of
bringing his long legs across it.
- 548 -
 I giggled too because he looked so happy that my heart could barely stand it.
Somehow he managed to position his body on top of mine, with his elbows by my
head as he straddled my lap. I relished the feeling of having him close to me
again…I would never tire of this feeling.

We both laughed for a moment and I wrapped my arms around his waist and
played with the heated skin above his flawless…tushy.

His dimples were deep from the permanent smile that had been etched on his
beautiful face. He sighed and whispered, "I missed ya, darlin…"

I brought one hand up to brush away the golden curls that had fallen over his
baby blue eyes, "Missed you too, baby."

And then the beautiful dimpled grin, transformed into the sexy sly smirk that
made my body react in very naughty ways. I was already straining against my
partially opened jeans but then I whimpered when his velvet pink tongue slipped
from between his plump lips and he traced that steel stud along my bottom lip.

His eyes closed as he hummed, "Mmm…I missed the way you taste…"

His hands slowly began unbuttoning my shirt as his tongue slid across my jaw and
he began nipping it gently. My eyes closed at the feel of his hands and tongue along
my skin. He pulled my shirt open as his lips attached to the crook of my neck, his
tongue sliding against it and that steel ball hitting all the right pressure points.

I wonder what that would feel like…down there?

I groaned as he started rolling his hips against mine, feeling his thick hard cock
rubbing against mine through our jeans.

Skin…I need skin…

The car was starting to get…heated. So, I slowly pushed up the sticky fabric of his
shirt that clung to his strong back, enjoying the feel of his muscles underneath my
fingertips and watching through the rear view mirror as the black ink became bit by
bit revealed.

How the hell is it possible that he's gotten even sexier…

He lifted up his upper body as his lower body throbbed against my own. With that
sly little smirk and oh so casually playing with that stud in his tongue, pulling and
- 549 -
rubbing it against his lips and teeth…he lifted his arms so I could release his wings
freely.

Again, I looked to the mirror so I could see the dark ink that began on his shoulder
blades and spanned the entire area of his back, ending just above his ass and the
tips of the wings slightly curved around to his perfect hips.

I was mesmerized as I watched them twitch and move with each muscle in his
back…I took note of every scar that graced them, reminding me that my angel with
his beautifully scarred wings was very real.

He must've noticed that I was staring at them because he laughed softly and
turned to adjust the mirror so I could see better.

I could feel the blush reddening my cheeks as I broke free from the angelic vision
and looked upon his smiling face. He grabbed my shirt and slid it over my shoulders
as I lifted up for him to remove it.

I was sitting up now as he still straddled my lap. Once again, my eyes were drawn
to the image in the mirror. He was up on his knees, bringing the center of his
stomach to my lips as I kissed and sucked the taut, fiery flesh…savoring the taste of
honey and a tinge of salt as I licked his glistening skin.

The windows of the Volvo were completely fogged up now, the humid night air
was occasionally broken by a gentle breeze that drifted in from the open moon roof
above us.

He had one hand wrapped around the back of my neck as his fingers twined in the
hair there…his other hand was pressed palm up against the roof of the car. I
squeezed his firm ass with both hands as I groaned against the honey blonde hairs
that trailed down and disappeared into his low slung jeans.

As much as I hated to let go of his ass…I just had to taste his cock again…had to
free it from the confines of those jeans that imprisoned it and kept it from me.

I brought my hands around and quickly pushed the button through and pulled the
zipper down. I opened them eagerly as his long, thick cock sprang free.

Fuck…I love it when he goes commando…

I pushed his jeans down over his muscular hips and brought my hand underneath
his balls to gently tug and roll them as he groaned.
- 550 -
 I licked the tip of his beautiful cock and slid my tongue across the weeping slit. I
looked up as his head fell back and he moaned loudly into the nighttime air.

Then his hooded midnight eyes came back to mine as he whispered, "Fuuuck…I
missed your mouth…"

I smiled that crooked smile that I know he loves before engulfing him completely
down my throat. His fingertips pressed into the roof of the car as his other hand
grasped the hair at the nape of my neck.

I had missed the way he felt in my mouth…

I swallowed around him as I worked my way back up slowly, swirling my tongue

around his hard shaft as I went. I sucked the soft skin of the head between my lips
as my tongue traced around the swollen ridge.

He was moaning and began moving his hips to get himself deeper and deeper
down my throat. Now I grabbed his taut ass cheeks with both hands and encouraged
him to fuck my mouth.

I looked up at his dark blue eyes as his plump pink lips were twisted in the most
delicious snarl. His golden curls were partially damp with sweat and his tight
stomach was heaving in and out as he thrusted into my mouth with a wanton
desperation.

The midnight sky was showcased above him from the moon roof, filled with
thousands of bright stars and soft moonlight.

I hollowed out my cheeks and sucked his beautiful cock with vigor until my jaws
were aching and my lips were swollen…but I still couldn't get enough of him.

His arm stiffened as he pushed against the roof of the car with his palm and his
other fingers held firmly to my now sweat dampened hair.

He grunted with that sexy little snarl, "Ugh…fuuuuck, Edward…I'm gonna cum
baby…"

I tightened my lips around him and hummed in anticipation until I felt his sticky
honey hit the back of my throat. I swallowed his nectar with great appreciation,
making sure to squeeze his length a few times with my hand so I could lick every
sweet drop from the slit of his cock.

- 551 -
 He collapsed on top of me, sweating and panting as his lips crashed to mine. His
tongue explored my mouth fervently as both hands went to the sides of my jeans. He
gripped them tightly and began pushing them down anxiously over my hips.

One of my hands held onto his back while the other wrapped forcefully in his
dampened honey curls. I lifted my hips as he dragged my jeans and boxer briefs
down my legs. I used my feet to kick them all the way off as we kissed passionately,
filling the humid nighttime air with throaty moans and grunts.

His jeans were around his thighs, so I brought my feet up to start pushing them
down. One of his hands grasped my waist and dug his rough fingertips into the
heated flesh as his other hand helped me to get his jeans the rest of the way off.

My cock was throbbing and pulsing against his firm stomach. I felt myself growing
light headed from the intense kiss as I needed to break away soon for air.

He must have been feeling it too because he pulled away with a gasp as his chest
heaved and he whispered in a throaty, raspy voice, "Did'ja bring the lube, Edward?"

I nodded as I rasped out, "Yeah…glove box…"

He nodded and reached behind him, opening the glove box and retrieving the
lube. He put it in my hand then tangled both hands in my hair as he whispered, "I'm
ready now, darlin…make love to me, Edward…"

Then his lips were on mine again as our tongues danced frenzied and wild with
one another. He shifted and guided us so that he was now on his back and I was on
top of him.

The feel of his hard, slick skin against mine was driving me crazy. I wanted
him…so bad…but I was a little scared too.

I broke from the kiss, gasping for air as I whispered, "Jay…are you sure? The
hotel's only a couple hours away…"

His half lidded, azure eyes searched mine as his rough fingertips brushed the
sweat, soaked hair from my forehead, "Yeah, Eddie…I need you now…I don't wanna
wait another fuckin minute…please, baby…please make love to me, Edward…"

I moaned softly from those words…how I had longed to hear them…but still…I
knew this was going to hurt him and that thought made my heart ache.

- 552 -
 He seemed to sense my internal battle because the next thing I knew, he had
turned over on his stomach, leaving me to gaze upon those beautifully scarred wings
that stopped right before the dip that led to his beautiful perfect ass…

Then he turned his head and looked at me over his shoulder. His hooded eyes
penetrated mine through damp golden curls as that sly smirk came to his lips. I
gasped as I watched him run that steel stud across his bottom lip and he whispered,
"C'mon, darlin…I'll let ya get me from behind…if ya want…"

My arms quickly slid underneath his chest as I pressed myself against his
backside in a frenzied desire to get closer. I rolled his nipples between my fingers as
I slid my rigid pulsating cock against his ass, up and down between the cheeks as
my lips and tongue tasted the beautiful glistening skin along his shoulder blades.

His back arched as a breathless, "Edward…" escaped his pouty lips. My heart was
racing frantically as I tasted his honey skin and ran my tongue along the black ink
while holding his body firmly to mine as he writhed beneath me.

I loved his wings…but I needed to see his face as I made love to him for the very
first time.

"Turn around, Jay…I need to see you, baby…" I panted out as I pulled myself up so
he could turn over to gaze at me with his loving dark blue eyes that rivaled the
midnight sky above us.

I leaned down and brushed my lips across his as I whispered, "Are you sure you
want to do this, Jay? We can wait…"

He shook his head as his arms went around my neck and pulled me closer. Our
slick hot bodies sliding against one another as his lips crushed mine with a
desperate moan, "Now…"

How could I ever deny my angel?

As our tongues twisted and curled around each other's, I popped open the lube
and squeezed some onto my fingers. Once they were slick and ready, I weaved his
curls through my other fingers as my slick one circled his puckered hole.

Very gently, I pressed my finger into his opening and slowly worked it in and out.
Once he was taking that easily, I slipped in the tip of another finger which earned
me a small gasp as I began working the two together inside of him.

- 553 -
 After a few minutes, he was writhing against them and rasped out, "More…"

I pulled away just enough to grab the lube with my free hand and apply more to
my fingers, wanting to make sure to make this as pain free as possible.

I took a deep breath before taking his lips to mine again in an effort to keep his
attention focused on the kiss and not on the discomfort he was about to feel.

Very slowly, I pressed the tip of a third finger into his slick hole as his head went
back and his back arched. His face was scrunched up and I pulled my fingers out as
I started to panic…

"Jay…I can't do this…I can't hurt you…I'll just stay a virgin…really, it's not a big
deal…I just…can't hurt you…"

His hands went into my hair as he held my face and whispered, "Breathe,
darlin…calm down…"

I took a deep breath as his rough fingertips ran lovingly through my damp hair.
My knees were on the leather seat beneath me as his legs were wrapped around me
and resting against the dashboard in front of us.

He whispered, "I love you, Edward…I know it's gonna hurt a little, darlin…but I
want this, baby…please…please, Edward…I need this…"

I took another breath as I searched his hooded eyes. He looked so incredibly

beautiful right now…glistening skin…pink pouty lips that were opened slightly as his
breathing was shallow…flushed tan skin and damp golden curls…he was my angel…

I nodded slightly as I let out a breath I had been holding. I added even more lube
to my fingers and he laughed softly, "Do you wanna lay somethin down? You're
gonna get that crap all over your leather seats?"

I shook my head and ran my clean fingers across his forehead to push back the
sweaty curls, "I don't care about these seats, Jay…I care about you. I love you,
Jasper."

He smiled, "I know, baby…so let's christen this car properly, darlin…"

I smiled now as our lips came back together and new life was breathed into me. I
could do this…and I would make it wonderful and good for him…I would love him
thoroughly…show him what making love should feel like…
- 554 -
 I repeated the process by sliding one finger into his puckered hole and working it
for a minute before adding the second. By the time he was moving against those, I
took another breath and attacked his lips as I slipped the third one in. I gave him a
minute to adjust before I started moving them in and out slowly. After a few
minutes, I began scissoring them like I had read about on the internet.

I did that for some time before I felt him twitch against my stomach. I pulled away
from the kiss with a small gasp as I looked down and saw him hardening. He smiled
at me and through ragged breaths whispered, "I think I'm ready, darlin…"

I smiled as I gently removed my fingers. I grabbed the lube again and poured
some on my hand before gently coating his entrance. Then I poured some on my
hard, aching shaft and started using my hand to get it covered completely.

Once we were ready, I took another deep breath and looked into his eyes as I
lined myself up at his entrance.

With my free hand, I ran my fingers through his curls and whispered, "I'll go slow
and when I think you're ready, I'll go deeper. If you ever want to stop, Jasper, just
tell me to stop and I will, okay?"

He smiled, "That's almost exactly what I said to you the first time we kissed."

I smiled back, "I know, baby…that kiss changed my life."

He ran his fingers across my cheek and whispered, "I love you, Eddie."

I felt like my heart was about to burst as I whispered, "I love you too, Jay."

I took a deep breath and took his lips to mine gingerly as I gently began pressing
into him. I gasped and squeezed my eyes closed at the tightness and heat that
surrounded the head of my cock. It was…unreal…

His hands came to my hair again and crashed my lips back into his as he moaned
into my mouth. I returned the moan as the kiss became very…heated.

I gave him a minute to adjust before very slowly, pushing in a little deeper. He
gasped this time as he broke from the kiss and wrapped his arms around my neck.
He pulled me to him and buried his face in my neck as he panted, "Oh holy fuck…"

I remembered what the internet said about slowly pushing in and out little by little
and allowing time to adjust, so I slowly began moving my hips, bringing me out just
- 555 -
a little before pushing in a little more.

My shoulders were trembling and I could feel the sweat rolling down my spine as I
struggled to go slow. I had never felt anything like this before. His ass squeezed my
cock so tight and hard and the feel of his heated flesh completely enveloping me was
intensely…amazing.

He held onto me for dear life as I moved very slowly. I whispered, "You okay, Jay?"

He nodded against my shoulder and continued taking in short shallow breaths.

Eventually he panted out, "Are you…all the way…in yet?"

I continued squeezing my eyes shut as I whispered into his ear, "No, baby…only
about half way there…"

He took a sharp breath, "You big dicked mother fucker…"

I hated that this was hurting him so I quickly panted out, "I'm sorry, Jay…"

He pulled away and laid back against the seat. He was breathing heavily but a
small smile came to his lips as he whispered, "Are you seriously apologizin for havin
a big dick?"

I could feel my cheeks burning as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, "Um…yeah,
I guess I am."

He laughed softly while still panting, "I fuckin love you, Edward."

I chuckled slightly and whispered, "I fucking love you too, Jasper."

He closed his eyes and took a big breath. He slowly exhaled and then whispered,
"Rip the fuckin band aid off, Edward…just get it in."

I panted out, "You sure?"

He nodded and wrapped his arms back around me while burying his face back into
my neck, "Yeah…I'm ready."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I whispered, "I'm sorry, love."

Then I pushed all the way in with one deep movement. We both gasped and he
muttered a few choice cuss words into my neck.
- 556 -
 I was panting heavily as I whispered, "Are you okay?"

He was breathing heavily too as his grip finally loosened a bit and he rasped out,
"Yeah, baby…I'm okay…"

I started kissing his neck and ear as I whispered, "You feel so fucking good, Jay…I
love you so much, baby…I won't move until you're ready…"

He bit my shoulder and whimpered, "Give me a minute, baby…"

I started sucking and kissing the juncture of his neck and shoulder because I know
that drives him crazy. Then I reached down between us with my still slick hand and
grasped his semi hard cock in my hand.

That earned me a loud moan as I started stroking him while I sucked on his sweet,
salty skin. I stroked him firmly but gentle while swirling my thumb over his weeping
slit.

After a few minutes, he was hard again and starting to move against me. He
whispered, "Okay, darlin…I'm ready."

We held on tight to one another as I slowly pulled out about half way before
pushing back into him. Fire coursed through my veins and I was completely
surrounded by a misty haze of bliss. I couldn't see straight, it felt so good…

I moaned into his shoulder as I continued stroking his cock gently while moving
slowly in and out of him.

He was holding onto me for dear life as his slick skin slid easily against mine. He
was grunting softly and sucking in ragged breaths.

I lifted myself up on my hands and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. His golden
curls were shaking with every stroke in and out of his heated flesh and his pretty
pink lips were formed into that delicious sexy snarl that drives me crazy.

I lifted up on my knees and grabbed the lube again. I pulled almost all the way out
before coating my cock again. I wanted to make sure this was the least painful it
could possibly be for him.

I slowly began moving inside of him again, looking down and watching where we
were finally connected in every way. I tried to control my ragged breathing as my
hooded lust filled eyes were drawn upon the sight of my hard length sliding in and
- 557 -
out of him. My body shuddered at the sight…

Holy shit, I'm making love to Jasper…

I couldn't help the crooked smile that came to my face as overwhelming happiness
and love and devotion swept over me.

"See somethin ya like, darlin?"

My eyes were pulled up towards the sound of his honey voice. I was rewarded
with that sexy, sly smirk as he reached down and began stroking his hard cock in his
hand. I couldn't take much more as shots of electricity just ran through my body.

I grabbed his legs under the knees and shifted them on top pf my shoulders. Then
I gripped his hips as I bent his knees down closer to his chest. I couldn't control
myself as I began pushing into him a little harder and faster.

His head fell back and his eyes closed as a loud, long moan escaped his lips. I
watched his dick twitch in his hand and I managed to rasp out, "Did I hit your magic
spot, babe?"

He groaned, "Fuck yeah, baby…do it again…"

He was stroking himself furiously now as his other hand wrapped tightly in my
hair and yanked my body down to his as he took me into a frenzied kiss. We kissed
frantically as our slick, hot bodies worked against one another.

He pulled away with a gasp, "Harder, Eddie…fuck…"

And I was no longer in control of my body as I grasped his shoulders and just
started driving myself into him. The sounds of my hips slamming into his ass and the
feel of our sweaty sticky bodies against the leather seat was quickly bringing me to
the edge of the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced.

He moaned out, "I'm so close, Edward…don't stop, baby…"

I held on tight to him as I struggled to keep myself from falling over the edge…

Don't cum yet, Edward…he needs to cum first…think of…fuck…um…Bella's

tits…okay, that bought me a minute or two…

When I didn't think I could hold off any longer, he finally moaned loudly, "Fuck,
- 558 -
baby…ugh…"

I felt his ass constrict even tighter around me as his orgasm came washing
through him. I looked down and saw the thick white spurts of cum shooting between
our bodies, only adding to the slick, sticky mess we had made.

That's all it took for me to finally give in…

My body trembled and shook as my stomach tightened and with one hard stroke, I
finally came hard inside him.

I continued a few more strokes until I finally collapsed in top of him, eyes closed
and sucking in shallow breaths.

My head was on his chest as I listened to his rapid heartbeat and felt his own
ragged breathing. He wrapped his arms around my back and held on to me while we
tried to calm our breathing down.

Eventually, I smiled up at him and he smiled down at me. I whispered, "That

was…just…Jesus, Jay…want to do it again?"

He laughed as I raised up and finally slipped myself out of him, "I think you're
gonna have to give me a little time, darlin…but…yeah, I definitely wanna do that
again…soon."

He reached behind us and grabbed his wife beater, wiping us as clean as he could
get us. He threw it back in the back seat and pulled me back into his arms. He
scooted on his side a little so that we were lying side by side on the seat. He brushed
his fingers through my hair as I traced the ink on his shoulder blades with my
fingertips.

I whispered, "So…um…was it…ya know…was I any good at it?"

I could feel him smile against my cheek, "Yeah, darlin…you were…fuckin

amazing…I ain't never felt nothin like that, baby."

I smiled against his neck as I kissed it softly, "Me neither…love you, Jay."

"Love you too, Eddie."

I felt my eyelids suddenly get very droopy and I yawned.

- 559 -
 He laughed, "Okay, sugar…let's get ya dressed 'fore ya pass out."

I raised up and shook my head as I stifled another yawn, "I'm not going to pass
out…"

He smirked at me as he reached down for my jeans and boxers. It took a few

minutes to get dressed again since we were crammed in the front seat of a Volvo.

He climbed back into the driver's seat and I saw him cringe a couple times. I
grabbed his hand and whispered, "Are you okay, Jay? Did it hurt really, really bad?"

He smiled over at me and I melted from those damn, sweet dimples of his, "I'm
okay, Eddie. It hurt a little at first, but then…fuck, it felt real fuckin good. I'm a little
sore but it's no big deal baby so please don't worry your pretty little head about it."

I nodded but still felt bad for causing him any pain. When we got to a hotel, I was
going to make sure and pamper him properly.

I watched his beautifully tanned chest glisten in the moonlight as we pulled back
onto the road. He was shirtless since we had used his as a wash cloth.

I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier as I watched him smoke a cigarette
and drive.

Eventually, I fell asleep.

"Edward? Wake up, sleepin beauty…"

I sucked in a sharp breath as my eyes opened. I looked around for a minute before
I focused on his beautiful baby blue eyes and his wide dimpled grin, "We're here."

I now looked around and saw that we were in a parking lot of an off road motel.

I stretched and yawned, "Let me get you some money for the room."

He smiled, "I already got it, babe."

I raised an eyebrow, "You have money?"

He smirked, "Yeah, I was workin a lot…savin money to get a car so I could come to
Forks and boynap ya."

- 560 -
 I smiled, "Well, I boynapped you first."

He nodded and yawned, "Yeah, you sure did, baby. Let's get our stuff…it's a little
past 3 in the mornin…"

I rubbed my eyes as I suddenly realized, "Jasper?! I'm so sorry I fell asleep right
after we made love…I can't believe I fell asleep…I'm such an ass…"

He chuckled and graced me with his trademark smirk, "Shit, baby…I'm the best
piece of ass this side of Texas…I'd be offended if I didn't put your ass to sleep."

I smirked right back, "I can't argue with that." Then I noticed the smell of
cheeseburgers, "Did you go through a drive-thru or something?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, I was starvin after all the sexin…I picked ya up a burger but
you wouldn't wake up, so I ate it. You hungry?"

I shook my head and laughed, "No, I'm good babe."

We grabbed our bags and trudged to our room. Once we had all our bags set
down, I went into the bathroom and started running a hot bath. I walked back into
the room and saw Jay bending over his bag on the bed, pulling out sweatpants.

I walked up behind him and slipped my arms around his waist. I nuzzled my nose
in his neck and breathed him in. He turned his head caught my lips in a soft, sweet
kiss. I sighed, "Mmm…love you."

He smiled, "Love you too."

I held onto him and whispered, "I'm drawing you a hot bath…it might help with
the…um…soreness."

He turned around and hooked his fingers into my belt loops, bringing my hips into
his, "Thank you, darlin…wanna join me?"

I laughed and shook my head, "I don't think we'll both fit in the tub, Jay…it's not
like the garden tub back home."

He just shrugged, "I'm sure we can make room…we'll just have to get…creative."

I smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him into the steamy bathroom. Once there,
I helped him out of his clothes while we kissed tenderly…I just wanted to take care
- 561 -
of him right now.

Once he was undressed, he sat down in the hot water and let out a long sigh. He
pulled his knees up to his chin and rested his head against them. I sat on the edge of
the tub and started lathering up a warm wash cloth.

Then I started washing his back, gently massaging as I went. He sighed again as
his whole body just melted, "Mmm…that feels so good, Edward…"

I leaned down to his ear and whispered, "Good…it's supposed to."

He smiled as his eyes closed and he just let me rub him down. After awhile, I
whispered, "Lay your head back, Jay…I'll wash your hair."

His lazy, happy smile was still full force as he leaned back on his hands and laid
his head back. I grabbed a plastic cup from the sink and started getting his golden
curls wet. I massaged the shampoo into his hair gently and he moaned so softly I
almost didn't hear it. But I did notice him hardening in the water.

I smiled and whispered, "You like getting your hair washed, huh?"

He laughed softly as his cock twitched in the water, "Yeah…"

I continued rinsing his hair now and once it was done, he whispered, "Get in here
with me, baby…"

I laughed, "I won't fit, Jay…"

He smirked as he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me into the tub on his
lap. We were both laughing as I splashed him, "Dick! I'm still in my jeans!"

He quickly popped open the button of my now soaking jeans while he laughed,
"Well, now darlin…that problem's easily fixed…"

We were still giggling as we peeled off my jeans and boxer briefs. I pulled my wet
shirt over my head and tossed my sopping clothes on the floor. He was leaning
against the back of the tub and I was curled up in his lap.

We laid like that for awhile until he began washing my body for me, just as I did
his. He whispered, "Can I wash your hair, Edward?"

I smiled against his chest, "Sure, Jay."

- 562 -
 I sat up between his legs as he used the cup to wash my hair. It felt so good to
have his rough fingertips massaging my scalp. I mean…really good and soon I felt
myself hardening from his simple touches.

He laughed softly as he ran his fingers through my hair to rinse the shampoo out,
"Ah…I see you like gettin your hair washed too, huh?"

I smiled as my cheeks started to burn, "Um…yeah."

He set the cup down and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back
against his chest. He leaned into my neck and whispered, "So…ya wanna find out
what it feels like to get your dick sucked with a pierced tongue?"

His words went straight to my dick as I moaned, "Oh fuck yeah, Jasper…"

He kissed my neck softly and whispered, "Stand up, darlin."

I anxiously did as he said and turned around to stand. He looked up at me as he

rose to his knees. I looked down at him as I braced myself against the shower wall.

His wet golden curls were pushed back revealing those penetrating cerulean eyes
that made my body quiver. I watched in fascination as he grasped my hard cock in
his wrinkled fingertips and stuck his tongue out.

He winked as he ran the steel stud across my weeping slit and I trembled as I held
onto the wall. I groaned as his lips closed around the pulsing head of my cock and
that stud swirled around the plump ridge.

He swallowed around me as he worked down further and further, running that

stud alongside the throbbing vein on the underside. I bit my lip to stifle a loud moan
as the steel hit all the right pressure points.

And the look of a wet, naked, tattooed, tongue pierced Jasper sucking my cock and
gazing up at me with lust filled midnight eyes, quickly brought me to the edge.

It didn't take long for him to work his magical mouth on me before I was gripping
his hair with one hand and the wall with the other as I moaned out, "Jasper…"

He swallowed hard around me until I was so weak in the knees that I had to use
both hands to brace myself.

He smiled up at me once he released my cock from his beautiful lips, "Musta been
- 563 -
good…I don't think you've ever gotten off that fast."

I smiled back and whispered through shallow breaths, "Un-fuckin-real, Jay."

He reached over and let the water out of the tub as I continued trying to see
straight as I laid my head against my arms on the wall.

He grabbed our towels and handed me one. Once I could walk again, I dried
myself off and he did the same. We decided to forgo clothing…I mean, really, what
was the point anyway?

I was exhausted when we finally crawled into bed together. I curled up on his
chest and easily fell asleep to the same rhythmic beat of his heart that had been my
lullaby for years. I prayed that it always would be.

- 564 -
 Chapter 28

Okay, forgot to mention this last chappy…anyone who is looking for a

good, well written Carlisle/Edward fic, try Away From the Sun by Pace is the
trick (in my faves)

BTW, I'm sure you've all heard that Mature FF stories are under attack!
Therefore, I am moving my stories over to www (dot) rougefanfic(dot)
ning(dot) com. I am posted under mistyhaze420. I will keep posting here
until they take me down but I wanted to have a back up! Thanks scarletappy
for the link!

And remember to vote at the slashy awards…http://www (dot)

theslashawards (dot) blogspot(dot)com/?zx=3d9759cc75877fd9

Playlist : Animals by Nickelback and Daybreak by Snow Patrol (songs are

on my you tube Playlist, link is on my profile.)

One last thing…if you are under 18...please…please…do not read this
story!

Jasper's POV

I laid there, my beautiful boy in my arms, fast asleep…

This was perfect. This was how I envisioned the rest of our lives. This was love.

He came to Texas for me…he sang in a bar full of rednecks for me…he made love
to me…real love, not fuckin…he cared when it hurt me…even if I was in a little pain,
I had never felt so fuckin loved in my whole life.

And yeah, it hurt like a son of a bitch at first…but all thoughts of pain quickly
became lost at the sight of him…my beautiful bronze haired boy above me, eyes so
full of love, slick, warm, hard body sliding along mine, velvet fingertips gripping
onto me for dear life as the feelings of love, adoration, and devotion swirled around
me and enveloped me like a protective bubble…

I may have the wings…but I was certain he was my angel.

And I know the Volvo wasn't the most romantic location for his first time…but

- 565 -
sittin there with him, talkin and sharin everything I had been feelin the last few
months…God, I just needed to feel loved…needed to feel the way only he can make
me feel.

He had wanted to make love for months but I always said no…I just wanted to give
him what he wanted…I would never ever deny him anything he ever asked of me
again…I would do anything he ever wanted without a moment's hesitation…I would
never say no.

And I thought for a brief moment bout waitin for the motel…but then I thought,
fuck it…carpe diem and all that shit…

Besides, I couldn't wait to see the breathtaking blush that would undoubtedly
come to his perfect face every time he looked at that seat and remembered…

He would have this car a long time…a constant reminder of what we had shared
together as opposed to rememberin back to some dumpy road side motel…I thought
havin our first time in his first car was kinda perfect…

And fuck…it was fuckin perfect…

Once the pain subsided…I had never felt so…connected with anyone my whole
life. Physically, once he hit my magic spot…the pleasure was intense and different
and fuckin wonderful…but this was so much more than physical for me.

I was givin him something that no one else could ever give him…his first time with
a boy that loved him so much that sometimes it was hard to fuckin breathe…

When I saw him watchin the way he slid in and out of me with that beautiful
crooked grin on his face…I just thought my heart was gonna fuckin explode…

I had to fight real fuckin hard to keep my eyes from gettin all teary and shit…I just
couldn't understand how it was possible to love someone so much…

He sighs in his sleep and throws his leg over my hip. His skin is hot and soft
and…fuck…it feels so fuckin good against my body. His breath is warm against my
chest and his silky hair tickles my neck. I turn my head slightly and breathe him in…

Fuck…I missed this too…

And right now, I'm scared to death to go to sleep…scared that I'm gonna wake up
on that god damn futon, hung over and fuckin devastated cuz this is all a dream…
- 566 -
 I tighten my embrace and hold him as close to me as I can. My eyes are burnin as
I fight my sleep cuz I don't wanna lose this…if I am dreamin…I don't ever wanna
wake up…

I feel my eyelids gettin heavier and heavier. And sleep finally takes me as I silently
pray over and over again…

Please let this be real…

Mmm…

I groaned and ground my erection into the mattress below as I felt his warm,
velvet tongue sliding feverishly along the ink on my back.

My whole body broke out in goose bumps from his hot breath and short
fingernails scratching at my sides. I shuddered as his firm, muscular body
descended further down mine…his thick cock sliding along my ass that instinctively
lifted off the mattress to just feel him a little better.

He moaned my name softly against my shoulder blade and I just couldn't take
anymore.

I turned my head and caught his lips in a searing kiss as our tongues entwined
and we swallowed each others moans and grunts.

He's really here…it wasn't a dream…

That thought pushes me into a frenzied need to feel him again and I have no
control of myself as I turn my body and wrap my arms around his waist, practically
flingin him over so that his back is now on the bed and I'm on top.

He gasps from the sudden turn of events as his hands now tangle in my curls and
my mouth goes to his neck. He moans a long low, "Fuuuck," as I lick and bite the
juncture of his neck and shoulder as I grind my hard cock into his.

He untangles one hand that goes to my back and grips and scratches his short
fingernails along my burnin skin.

I groan and bite him again as he growls out, "Oh fuck, Jay…bite me harder…"

- 567 -
 So I continue diggin my teeth into the hot sweet flesh beneath me as he growls
and his fingers dig into my skin.

He's now raising his hips to meet mine as his hand trails further down and
squeezes my ass brutally, only encouraging me to thrust into him again.

I had one hand twisted through his wild hair and the other gripped his hip tightly,
diggin into his taut heated flesh.

I quickly lifted up to my knees, pullin his head up with me by my grip at the nape
of his neck.

Thank God he likes it a little rough…

I moan through shallow breaths, "Suck my dick, baby…"

He wastes no time in doin just that as his mouth plunges around my cock and
moans around it. I groan my own long, low, "Fuuuck," as he takes me all the way
down his throat until I feel his hot breath against my short curls, then he slowly
drags his teeth very gently all the back up. His hooded green eyes never left mine as
I watched. Then the little fucker winked at me and I nearly fuckin lost it.

Fuck, I love it when he's kinky…

I start rockin my hips as I grip his hair, fuckin his pretty red lips. His fingers are
diggin into my ass, pushin me into his mouth all the more harder as his growls and
grunts tease my throbbin cock that much more.

I'm in fuckin Heaven as I fuck his luscious mouth but right now…I'm feelin way
too naughty to be in Heaven.

I reach over to the nightstand with my free hand and grab the lube from the
drawer. I toss it on the bed next to him and he groans around my cock as his hard
cock twitches against my thigh from where he's sittin.

He never loses a beat on the hellacious fuckin blow job he's givin me as he flips
open the lube and squeezes some onto his fingers. I feel his slick finger rubbin
around my hole and I grunt as I feel it slip in.

He quickly adds another and takes a little time fuckin me with his fingers as I rock
back, takin them in my ass…then forward so he can take my cock down his throat.
I'm fuckin engulfed in pleasure right now as he's stroking my magic spot and suckin
- 568 -
my dick like a god damn cockaholic.

Then I feel a third finger slip in and a brief little shot of pain as he starts stretchin
me out…but ain't nothin wrong with a little pain with your pleasure.

While he's fingerin my ass and suckin my cock…I grab the lube and squeeze some
in my hand. I reach down and grasp his throbbin dick in my hand and began coatin
it with the lube in long firm strokes. He's thrusting his hips up into my hand and
drags his teeth up my cock again as he fuckin growls…

And I can't wait another god damn second…

His fingers slip outta me and I grab both his hands and throw him back against
the mattress, pinning them above his head. He bucks up against me as he groans
and my breathin hitches when I see my black cowboy hat hangin there on the
bedpost.

I put his hands together and hold them at the wrists with one of my hands while
my other reaches for the hat.

I pull it down over my curls and his eyes roll back as he moans, "Oh fucking
hell…ride me cowboy…"

I lift up on my knees, stretchin my body out as I look down at his flushed face, red
swollen lips slightly parted as he rakes in shallow breaths, his hands are diggin into
my hips…and I flash him the dimpled grin that makes his cock twitch and I wink as I
drawl out, "Yes, sir."

I reach behind me and grab his slick cock and position it at my entrance. I slowly
start to push down and as it slips in, my eyes close and my moans match his.

Once the head's in, I use that hand to lean back on as I slowly start liftin myself
up, then back down, takin a little more of his big dick in each time. I wrap my
fingers around my hard cock now and start pumpin myself slowly to match my
rhythm on his dick.

He's bitin his lip as he looks up at me through hooded emerald eyes and it's all I
can do to keep from shootin my load right there at that look he's givin me. He's
tremblin as he tries to keep his body still for me.

Finally, I feel his short hairs ticklin my ass and I moan at the feelin of havin him in
me to the hilt. I take a minute to get used to the feelin cuz God knows Edward really
- 569 -
is one big dicked mother fucker.

After a moment, I start slidin up and down over his throbbin cock and I'm reelin
from how good he feels inside me.

Who woulda ever thought I'd actually like takin it up the ass…

Edward's grip on my hips hasn't lessened and his fingers are diggin into me as he
starts slowly meetin my thrusts. His hard slick cock is throbbin inside of me and it
only makes mine ache more. I continue pumpin my cock in my hand as he moans
softly, "Oh fuck, Jasper…so fucking sexy…feels so damn good…ride that dick,
baby…"

It doesn't take long until I'm seein stars and needin even more of him. The ride
starts gettin a little wild as he hits my magic spot with his powerful thrust and I'm
suddenly ridin him like he's a god damn bull.

He's moanin and fuckin growlin as his knees come up behind my back to give him
more leverage to pound up into me. He's fuckin me hard and I'm incoherent from
the pure raw pleasure he's givin me.

I fall forward a little and grip his shoulders and just hang on as he fucks me into
oblivion. I'm barely able to breathe, it feels so fuckin good for him to just fuckin own
me like he is right now.

His motions still and my eyes snap open to see him pourin a little more lube in his
hand and pullin his cock almost all the way out to coat it again.

He whispers, "I'm not hurting you, am I Jay?"

I can't help the wide dimpled grin that comes to my face…but still unable to form
a sentence or anythin beyond a grunt or moan…I give him a thumbs up.

He laughs quietly, "Well, good…you think you can break this stallion, cowboy?"

I take a deep breath and smirk before grabbing his sticky hands and pinnin them
above his head again. I lean down into his neck and nibble on his earlobe as I
whisper, "First rule of the rodeo…the cowboy's in charge, darlin."

I bite his neck as he moans out and thrusts back up into me. I use my grip on his
hands as leverage as I start movin up and down hard on his cock, slammin myself
down into his hips over and over again while I keep him pinned beneath me.
- 570 -
 He's moanin and gruntin and screamin out curse words every few seconds. My
cock is now trapped between our hard, sweaty stomachs and the intense friction is
only causin me to ride him harder to feel it more.

His dick is throbbin and pulsin inside of me as he keeps hittin that sweet spot over
and over until my abdomen is twistin and burnin for release.

I watch his beautiful face in complete ecstasy as he growls out, "Fucking

cumming…holy shit…fuck…fuck…oh fuck…"

I can feel the warm wetness as he comes deep inside of me and that's all it takes
as I moan, "Edward…god damn…oh fuck…" and I cum thick and heavy between our
stomachs.

I collapse on top of him and we're both suckin in sharp breaths as our sticky
stomachs rise and fall together.

He wraps his arms around my waist and squeezes me tightly. My head is on his
chest as I listen to the rapid heart beat slow little by little. He reaches up and pulls
my cowboy hat off and hangs it back on the bed post. Then he starts runnin his soft
fingers through my curls as I sigh and curl up into him.

He whispers sleepily, "Love you, Jay…"

I mumble back, "Love you, Eddie…" as my heavy eyelids close and sleep takes me
again.

My eyes fluttered open only to wince back shut at the light pourin in from the
window. The blinds were cracked open and the sunlight flooded into the room and lit
up my beautiful boy's perfect sleepin face. I just laid there for awhile and watched
him sleep with my head still restin on his chest. The soft beat of his heart and the
warmth of his soft skin felt so good on mine.

I was pulled from my Edward watchin when his phone rang on the night stand. I
reached over and grabbed it, "Hello?"

"Jasper? Son, is that you?"

I smiled as I sat up in bed and lit a cigarette, "Yeah, Carlisle, it's me."

- 571 -
 He spoke quickly, "Are you okay, son? Did anything happen to you? No one hurt
you, did they?"

I laughed softly, "No, Daddy C…I'm alright."

He let out a deep sigh, "Oh, thank God…"

And then he started yellin, "JESUS CHRIST JASPER! WHAT THE HELL WERE
YOU THINKING, NOT CALLING ME?! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK YOUR
MOTHER AND I HAVE BEEN?! I HIRED A DAMN PRIVATE EYE TO TRY AND FIND
YOU…"

I pulled the phone away and winced as he kept yellin. Edward must've heard the
yellin cuz his eyes shot open and he looked over at me.

Then he smiled and whispered, "Don't worry, he yelled at me like that too when he
found out I left in the middle of the night to come get you."

Once the yellin stopped, I put the phone back to my ear and took a deep breath. I
felt really bad for makin them worry like that. I was such a dick sometimes.

I sighed, "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I wasn't thinkin real clear and I fucked up…I'm really
sorry."

He sighed now, "It's okay, son…I'm sorry for yelling…well, no I'm not, you
deserved that. I think I just needed to get it out of my system. So, are you really
okay? Is there anything you need?"

I smiled as I looked down at Edward who was now curled into my chest, "No, I've
got everythin I need. Thank you for lettin Edward come for me. I really am sorry for
puttin you through so much."

He chuckled a little into the phone, "Letting, my ass…I didn't let him do anything.
I woke up to a phone call from him stating that he was in Oregon. I tried to get him
to stop so we could go together but he was adamant that you needed him and
nothing was going to stop him. I'm really glad he found you, son. We've missed you
terribly."

My eyes started tearin up a little, "I missed ya'll too. A whole lot. I did need him…I
still do."

He sighed, "I know you do, son. Well, the hospital is paging me so I have to
- 572 -
go…but you boys will call me at least twice a day to check in…and Esme wants
postcards. I'm trusting you both with a great deal and I expect that you won't let me
down. I'm giving you this summer because I know you both need it and quite
frankly…I don't think you'd give it up even if I asked. So, be careful, take care of
each other, and be safe, son."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "We will, Daddy C. Thank you. Tell Esme I'm
sorry for makin her worry and I love her."

"I will, son. I love you."

My voice cracked a little as I cleared my throat, "Love you too, Carlisle."

I hung up the phone and wiped the wetness from my eyes with the back of my
hand. Edward looked up from where he was curled into my chest and smiled, "Good
morning, Love."

I smiled back through blurry eyes, "Mornin, darlin."

He reached up and brushed his lips against mine as he whispered, "Don't worry,
Jay, things are going to start getting a whole lot better for you. I promise."

And I knew he was right. Despite all the fucked up shit that has happened the last
few years, my life had been a hundred times better since I talked to the cute little
green eyed boy that walked by with tears in his eyes.

Thank fuckin God I talked to him that day…

We kissed a soft sweet morning kiss before he pulled away with a content sigh. He
raised his soft fingertips and brushed away the last of the wetness from the corners
of my eye and smiled, "Love you, Jay."

I took his hand gently in mine and kissed his palm, "Love you, Edward."

He smiled for a moment before the corners of his mouth turned down and a look
of sorrow came across his face. I furrowed my brows, "What's wrong, baby?"

He sighed and sat up next to me. He pulled his knees to his chest as the blanket
draped over them. Then he laid his head down on his knees and looked over at me,
"Um…I didn't want to have to tell you this but I think I have too…"

My heart dropped, "What is it, Edward?"

- 573 -
 He took a deep breath before whispering, "It's…um…Charlotte."

Now my heart was racin, "Is she okay? What's wrong?"

He just shook his head softly and whispered, "I'm afraid she's not doing well, Jay.
The doctors are saying she will be gone in a matter of days. I'm so sorry."

And the tears came back, "Fuck…I ain't gonna get to see her 'fore she passes.
Peter ain't gonna have no one with him. Damn it, I fucked up so bad, Edward."

He pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried softly, "Jasper, Peter's doing
okay. I spent a lot of time with him this last month and he really is going to be okay.
Mom and dad will be with him. Emmett, Brady, and Tommy have been helping him
out some too…driving him to his doctor's appointments and doing some work around
the house for him. Alice, Rose, and Jane have been cooking and helping out with the
cleaning around his place. We all know how much he means to you, Jay…we're all
taking care of him so please don't worry."

I didn't deserve to have such good people in my life…but I was really fuckin
thankful for them.

I sniffled as I held onto him, "Edward? I didn't see my granny 'fore she died either.
I feel so fuckin bad. I don't wanna lose her too without sayin good bye."

He wiped the tears from my eyes again and I felt bad for breakin down on him but
again, I was really thankful that he was strong enough to be there for me when I fell
apart.

"Why don't you call her, Jay? You could say your good byes on the phone."

I took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah, that's a good idea."

He handed me the phone and I hit the speed dial for Peter. I cleared my throat
and sniffled one last time before I heard, "Hello?"

"Hey Peter…it's Jasper."

I heard him chuckle and it immediately brought a smile to my face, "Well hey
there, stranger! How the hell ya doin, son?"

I smiled, "I'm good, Peter…I mean, I was doin pretty bad but Edward came and
got me last night so I'm a hell of a lot better today."
- 574 -
 He chuckled again, "He took my advice, huh? Smart feller ya got there, son…can't
fish worth a damn but a damn smart boy."

I laughed now, "You took Edward fishin?"

He laughed, "Yup…he tried his best, son…he tried his best."

I giggled as Edward rolled his eyes and whispered, "It was gross…I had to touch
creepy crawly things…and fish. Ick!"

I smiled as he shuddered.

I sighed a little as I spoke quietly, "Hey Peter? You doin okay?"

He took a sharp breath before speakin, "I reckon Edward told ya bout Charlotte?"

"Yeah, he did."

He sighed and I could hear the sadness as he spoke, even if he was puttin up a
brave façade, "I'm alright, son. Your buddies been comin round here a bunch,
helping me out. Good bunch of friends ya got there. I reckon I ain't got too much
longer fore I get to join her so that makes me feel a lil' better. I sure am gonna miss
her, son."

And my fuckin eyes started tearin up again…

Fuck, how many fuckin times am I gonna cry today…this is bullshit…

I took a sharp breath and tried to keep myself together, "Do ya think…is she able
to talk at all, Peter? Could I talk to her for just a minute? I really wanna…um…tell
her I love her and I'm sorry for not bein there."

Edward's arms were back around me now as I snuggled into his chest again and
he played with my curls.

"She can talk, son…the thing is…she may not 'member who ya are. Hell, she don't
know who I am half the time anymore. She gets confused a lot now and sometimes
doesn't make a whole lotta sense. I'll let ya talk to her, son…I just wanted to give ya
fair warnin."

I took another breath, "Thanks, Peter. I understand and I'll keep it short."

- 575 -
 "Take as long as ya need, son."

I heard some shuffling and then heard him in the background speakin to her, "Hey
there, baby girl…got someone on the phone who's been wantin to talk to ya…ya feel
up to it today, darlin?"

I heard her weak voice and my heart fuckin ached, "Hello?"

I cleared my throat and spoke quietly, "Charlotte…it's Ja…"

"Oh my goodness, grace, and glory! Nathan! Is that you, baby boy?"

She thought I was her son who died over twenty years ago in the war. I knew how
badly she missed him and if I could give her just a little comfort by pretendin to be
him…then that's what I was gonna do.

My voice broke a little and Edward held onto me tighter, "Yeah, mama…it's me."

She laughed a small weak laugh and I could hear the smile in her voice, "Well, I'll
be…how come ya ain't been round much lately, son? Ya got a purdy lil' thang
keeping ya all tied up?"

I chuckled a little and started to speak when she interrupted, "Oh, hell, son…I
forgot all about you bein out of the country! Ya keeping safe over there, baby?"

I sniffled, "Yeah, mama…I'm bein real safe so dont'cha worry bout me. And I do
have a real purdy lil' thang that keeps me busy, mama. Matter fact…I plan on gettin
married in a few years."

She sounded so excited as she spoke and my heart was breakin, "Oh I'm so happy
for ya, sugar! You've always been such a good boy…I hope ya know ya make yer
mama so proud."

I squeezed my eyes shut, "I know, mama…you and daddy make me real proud too.
I miss ya, mama."

She chuckles again as her strained voice speaks, "I miss you too, baby. Hey, you
'member that party ya threw for yer daddy and me a few years back? Ya played us
some music and we danced. I ain't danced like that in a dog's age, son. Them was
good times, baby…"

She did remember me…maybe not me exactly cuz she thought I was Nathan but
- 576 -
she remembered the party Edward and I threw for them…that has to mean
something, right?

I chuckled a little through quiet tears, "Yeah, that was a whole lotta fun, mama.
Wish I could be there with ya…"

She sighed, "Now don't ya go on worryin bout me, son. I ain't afraid, baby
boy…I'm all decked out in my best dress…some lil' fairy lookin girl and a couple of
purdy young blondes came over…did my hair and helped me with my make up…Yer
mama's lookin good, baby. I'm all ready to go on up high now."

I was cryin now but I did my best to maintain my voice, "That's real good,
mama…you always were a beauty. I love you."

She was smiling again, I could hear it, "I love you too, baby boy. Now, take care of
yer daddy for me…I reckon he's gonna be a right mess without me keepin him in
line. And one day, when ya get married and have me some granbabies…tell 'em bout
me…tell 'em that I'll be watchin over them from up yonder. I love you so much, son.
Bye bye, baby."

I wiped my eyes that stung with tears, "I will, mama. I'll take care of everythin…I
love you more than you'll ever know. Good bye, mama."

I was cryin hard now into Edward's chest and he took the phone from me. My
mind was goin a hundred miles a minute with thoughts bout how I should be there
for them right now…how badly I fucked everythin up…bout my granny and how she
died 'fore I could ever say good bye to her…bout how she probably worried herself
sick over me until her last breath…

I heard Edward speakin to Peter…telling him to call us at anytime if he ever

needed to talk or anything at all. He was natured so much like Carlisle…he really
was gonna be a wonderful husband someday…and maybe a daddy too…

He hung up the phone and held me until I could pull myself together again.
Eventually, I pulled away and wiped the last of the tears away. I could feel my
cheeks burnin now at the thought that I had just spent the first hour of our mornin
cryin like a god damn baby in front of Edward.

His silky fingertips ran across my jaw to my chin, liftin it gently to look at him. His
pretty red lips turned up into a soft breath taking smile, "Hey…don't ever be
embarrassed for crying in front of me, Jasper. I know that you're tough as nails…but
I also know that every emotion you have…you feel with everything you have. When
- 577 -
you love, you love deeply and when you hurt, it cuts like a knife. I've cried on you
more times than I can even remember…you can cry on me anytime you need to,
love."

I couldn't help but smile back and whisper, "Thanks, Edward."

He nodded, "Anytime, Jasper."

As we finally crawled outta bed around noon, we were both crusty and sticky and
had to get cleaned up from our night time activities…which were fuckin amazing, by
the way.

We fooled around a little more in the shower but were both starving and I knew
Edward needed to eat before he could take his medicine. So, once we finished
dressin and packin up our stuff, we loaded everythin into the car and took off for a
diner we had passed last night for a late breakfast.

I ordered biscuits and gravy, bacon and scrambled eggs, grits and pancakes along
with a cup of coffee…black.

Edward raised an eyebrow and I just shrugged, "I'm a growin boy,

Edward…besides, I'm sure you can help me think of a way to work it all off later."

He smiled and that beautiful blush came to his cheeks. And then he surprised the
hell outta me.

He leaned over the table and right in front of the waitress and everyone in God's
creation, his lips puckered and brushed across mine.

I didn't even kiss him back, I was so shocked. He smirked and whispered, "Eat
well, love…I plan on working you out thoroughly later tonight."

My mouth hung open and so did the waitress'. Then he sat down casually, like
nothing ever happened and smiled up at her, "Um…I'll have French toast and a glass
of orange juice, please."

She shook her head slightly to break out of her daze and mumbled, "Uh…okay, I'll
be right back with your order."

She turned on her heels and left abruptly and Edward laughed, "She seemed a
little weirded out by something."

- 578 -
 I was still in shock but managed to speak, "Edward? You just kissed me. In public.
Without me coaxin you into it."

His beautiful smile softened as he reached across the table and took my hand in
his. He sighed as his velvet fingertips brushed across my knuckles, "Jay, I just spent
the last four months wondering if I would ever have the chance to kiss you again…to
hold you…to feel your body next to mine. I really don't care what anyone thinks
anymore…I will never feel weird or strange for showing everyone just how much I
love you because, for me, loving you is the most natural thing in the world. I've
always felt like a freak, Jasper…but now, I don't. Yeah, I'm a little crazy sometimes
but you once told me that everyone is fucked up, just some people hide it better. I
don't want to hide anymore. I'm proud to be with you…proud that you love me. I'm
proud to be me, crazy and all and that's because of you. I love you, Jay."

Well, fuckin hell, am I gonna cry at every fuckin thing today? It's like I'm a god
damn girl who just got her fuckin period. Jesus H. Christ, Jasper…get a fuckin grip…

He handed me a napkin and I wiped my eyes quickly and fought back the fuckin
emotional train wreck of emotions that had been crashin through me today.

I sniffled once and smiled back at him, "I love you too, Eddie."

Then I thought…

Fuck it…

I leaned across the table and wrapped my fingers in the hair at the nape of his
neck, crashin his lips to mine. I brushed my tongue across his bottom lip and they
easily parted for me. We both moaned softly into the kiss as I relished the taste of
my beautiful boy.

Then we heard someone clear their throat, so I pulled away to see the waitress
standing there starin at us with two plates in her hands. She smiled as her whole
face turned scarlet, "Uh…sorry, but…um…ready to eat?"

We both chuckled as I pulled back away and sat down. We started eatin and I was
fuckin starvin so it didn't take me long to finish off everythin. I sat there and drank
my coffee as I watched Edward take his time with his meal.

I smiled at him, "So, Eddie? This means I can kiss ya anytime I want now, right?
Anywhere?"

- 579 -
 He laughed and nodded, "Yes, Jay…anytime, anywhere."

Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear as goose bumps broke across my
body from his sexy voice, "You have no idea how hard it is for me to not bend you
over this table and fuck you senseless…"

Now I gasped a little and I could feel my cheeks turnin red. He pulled back with
that fuckhot crooked grin, "You know, that blush on your cheeks is really quite
breathtaking."

I rolled my eyes and laughed as I took another sip of my coffee and muttered,
"Cocky fucker…"

When we were finished with breakfast, we headed back to the car. Edward tossed
me the keys, "Want to drive, Jay?"

I nodded, "Sure, darlin." We got in the car and I lit up a cigarette once we rolled
down all the windows. I turned on the car and just sat there for a moment.

Edward furrowed his brows, "What's wrong, love?"

My mind was racin again from the conversation I had with Charlotte earlier.

I turned in my seat and looked at me pretty green eyed boy. I chewed on my lip for
a moment before talkin, "Hey Edward?"

He looked concerned as he reached over and brushed the curls away that had
fallen over my eyes, "What is it, angel?"

I took a deep breath and whispered, "What if my mama was lyin bout my granny? I
mean, it ain't like it's out of mama's character or anything. What if she's been alive
all this time and worried sick about me?"

I knew he understood just by the look in his eyes. He smiled softly, "Do you
remember where she lives, Jasper? We can go there, if you want."

I smiled, "Yeah, it's only a couple hours from here. Ya sure ya don't mind?"

He shook his head, "Of course not, babe. We've got all the time in the world.
Besides, I'd love to see where you lived as a child."

I was nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. I really hoped that she
- 580 -
was still alive and mama had just been lyin to me.

We got in the car and started drivin. We chatted along the way about everything
that had happened the last few months. I damn near swerved off the road when I
found out he was put into the psych unit after an overdose. My heart felt like it was
gonna break in two. My first thought was that he tried to…I can't even say what I
thought. But then he told me it was an accident and he had just gotten confused.
That scared me too but it made me feel better than the alternative.

I told him about Kaycee and he was a little upset but I told him that I never even
kissed her. He got past it and was thankful that I stopped before things went too far.

He sighed as he looked out the window, "Hey Jay? I noticed some new scars on
your back…"

I groaned internally, "Uh yeah…from one of me and my dad's

fights…he…um…threw me down onto the coffee table and it broke. It's alright,
though…I got him pretty good that night too. I finally learned to stick and move until
he backed me into a corner I couldn't get out of."

He took a sharp breath before muttering under his breath, "Fucking bastard…"

I reached over and grabbed his hand, "Hey…I'm okay, Edward. He never went too
far or anything…it was always just cuts and bruises…"

His eyes flashed over to me and I actually shuddered from the look of anger in
them, "Never went too far? Are you kidding me? He should have never put his hands
on you! He has no fucking right to touch you!"

I cringed a little and his eyes immediately softened, "I'm sorry, Jasper. I shouldn't
have yelled. I just…I can't bear the thought of anyone hurting you."

I smiled softly at him, "I know ya can't, darlin. He ain't gonna hurt me no more.
You saved me, remember?"

He smiled, "We saved each other, Jay."

The rest of the drive there was good cuz we just talked about random shit and
sang along to the radio. Once I started pullin down that old dirt road, my heart
started racin.

He squeezed my hand a little tighter as the house came into sight. It was just like I
- 581 -
remembered. The old white house was worn down some, just like always but the
land was beautiful. The old stables in the back still stood but appeared to be empty.
Flowers surrounded the front porch in bright, vivid colors. Even the old porch swing
was there that granny and I used to rock on when it rained. We loved the sound of
the rain fallin down and I'd usually fall asleep in her lap.

I put the car in park and turned it off. I took a deep breath and tried to get my
bearings before I could actually gain the nerve to get out of the car.

Edward put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, "It's going to be okay, love.
I'll be right by your side."

I put my hand over top his and whispered, "I don't know if I can do this…"

His fingers held my chin and turned my face to his. His green eyes were soft and
filled with love as he spoke, "You can do this, Jay. You can do anything. You're not
alone, angel."

I nodded and took another breath before smiling as best I could, "Thanks, Edward.
I love you."

"I love you too, Jasper."

We got outta the car and walked up the drive. I had to take another deep breath
before walkin up the old porch steps. Edward stayed beside me, brushing his arm
against mine to remind me that he was there.

I took one more deep breath before raising my hand and knockin on the door.

I heard some rustlin and held my breath now as the door opened.

My heart sank at the sight of the young woman who answered.

"Can I help you, boys?"

I nodded, "Yes, ma'am. Um…I'm lookin for a woman that used to live here a long
time ago. Her name was Maggie Lou Thomas. Would you know where I could find
her?"

The woman's face fell and my heart hurt, "I'm sorry, son. Maggie Lou passed away
bout 6 years ago."

- 582 -
 Edward's hand was on my shoulder, squeezing it softly.

I sighed and started to turn away, "Sorry to waste your time, ma'am."

She gave me kind of a strange look before callin out, "Wait!

I turned back around as she walked up to me, starin at me all weird and shit.

She finally smiled, "You're Linda's boy. I'd recognize those baby blues and that
mop of blond curls anywhere."

My breath caught in my throat a little as I was caught off guard, "Uh…yes, ma'am.
You know my mama?"

She sighed, "I do…well, did. We were best friends growin up…sang in the church
choir together, girl scouts…I practically grew up in this house till I was 12 years
old."

I just shook my head and scoffed, "No offense, but that don't sound nothing like
my mama…I think you're mistaken."

I started to turn away when she called out, "Your mama wasn't always bad,
Jasper!"

I took a breath and turned back around, "Yeah, well my mama's in prison at the
moment but I'll be sure to tell her that she has at least one fan girl rootin for her."

She sighed and Edward put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from turnin
away again, "Jasper, maybe she can tell us where Maggie's grave is, so we can go
show our proper respect?"

I looked at the woman who stared at me. She was young, early thirties
probably…my mama was only 31.

She approached me cautiously this time and spoke softly, "Jasper? I know your
mama has done some God awful things…but people aren't born with that kinda
meanness in them, son. Haven't ya ever wondered why your mama is the way she
is?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

I shook my head and she spoke quietly again, "Well, I bought this house after your
- 583 -
gran mama passed…she left some things for you…she was certain you'd come back
lookin for her one day. I'd like to tell ya the whole story, if ya want? You're, what,
about 16, now…you're old enough to hear the truth."

Edward was standin by my side again and I felt his fingers ghost across mine,
providing me as much comfort as he could. At this point, I didn't care what this
woman thought about me so I grasped his hand in mine.

His fingers clenched mine tightly and the woman had a surprised look on her face
for just a moment before smiling again, "I haven't even introduced myself…my
name's Bobbi Sue Haley."

Edward spoke as he held out his hand, "Edward Cullen, ma'am. Nice to make your
acquaintance."

She took his hand and fuckin blushed, "Well aren't you the proper little thing? I
take it…you're a…good friend of Jasper's?"

He nodded with that crooked grin as his hand grabbed mine again, "Very good
friend, ma'am."

I laughed a little at the look on her face as she just fanned herself with her hand
and blushed deeper, "Well, well, well…that's not something ya see everyday round
these parts…mind you, I don't care bout that. I think what people do in their
bedrooms is between them and God…I stay out of it…anyway, won't ya'll come in for
a bit? I was just makin some sandwiches and lemonade for my baby girls birthday
party tonight, but I got a few hours till I gotta get it all done."

I didn't say anything…I still wasn't sure if I trusted her…but I was curious to see
what my granny had left for me.

Edward looked at me, "It's your call, Jay. We can leave if you want to. If you want
to stay, then I'll stay right by you. Whatever you want, love."

My heart was racin again…I wasn't sure I wanted to know the whole story…I
didn't know if it would change anything…I wanted to be mad at my mama…I didn't
wanna think of her as an innocent kid…but I'm not one for runnin and hidin...

I sighed, "We'll come in. Thank you, ma'am."

Well, Edward started facin his demons…guess it's bout time I faced mine…

- 584 -
 Chapter 29

I'm so grateful for those of you who nominated my story in the slashy
awards! It makes me really freakin happy that you guys are lovin my boys as
much as I do!

So, don't forget to vote…there are some amazing stories nominated so be

sure to check them all out !

http://www (.) theslashawards (.) blogspot (.) com/?zx=496ad7a76f284063

Edward's POV

Jasper's hand squeezed mine tight as he sighed, "We'll come in. Thank you,
ma'am."

He was nervous, his grip was strong and his palm was sweaty. I wasn't sure what
we were about to find out but I just wanted to make sure that whatever happened,
Jasper knew he wasn't in this alone.

Bobbi Sue smiled and stepped out of the doorway, "Well, ya'll come on in…ya
hungry? Like I said, I got sandwiches and lemonade."

I figured that eating might help Jay calm down a little so I spoke up, "Yes, ma'am,
that would be very nice. Thank you."

She turned, "Come on in to the kitchen table, we can talk while ya eat."

Jasper shot me a glance with a small nervous smile and I grinned back, hoping it
might help ease him a little. I held his hand and ran my thumb over his knuckle as I
leaned into his ear and whispered, "I love you, Jasper."

He let out a breath he had been holding back and smiled back at me now with
those dimples breaking through, "Love you, Edward."

He visibly relaxed a little so I took a moment to look around at his childhood

home. The house was small but very cozy. I wondered if it had changed much at all
in the ten years since he had been here.

We walked into the kitchen and he broke into a full out grin as his hands went to

- 585 -
the kitchen table, "Hey, this is the same table granny had!"

Bobbi Sue laughed as she pulled out some cups for the lemonade, "It sure is,
sweetie. Matter of fact, a lot of your gran mama's things are still here. Some of
yours too."

He laughed and ducked his head under the table, "Look, Edward!"

I couldn't help but laugh at his child like enthusiasm…it was really wonderful to
experience.

I ducked my head down and he grabbed my hand, "Ya gotta lie on the floor to
appreciate it properly, darlin."

His laugh was contagious as he pulled the chairs away and slid underneath the
table, pulling me with him.

I was still laughing when I looked up at the underside of the table. Then I gasped.
It was covered in a drawing of angels…in markers and crayons. Very crude child like
red angels, blue angels, green angels, a myriad of color…in the corner in blue
marker was his scribble 'Jay Whitlock.'

He reached his hand up to brush his fingertips across the picture and he sighed,
"When I was five, I wanted to be an artist. I gotta library book bout Michelangelo. I
tried to recreate the Sistine Chapel."

So beautiful…

Now I tentatively reached up and brushed my fingertips across the wings of an

angel with blue eyes, blonde hair…and golden wings. He smiled and whispered,
"Look at this one, Eddie…it's like fuckin fate."

I looked to the one he was pointing too. The angel had dark reddish brown hair,
big green eyes, and white wings. Granted, there were probably a hundred different
angels on the bottom of this table but it was…pretty cool.

He laughed, "Hey, Ms. Haley?"

She was laughing too, "Call me, Bobbi, son."

"Bobbi, would ya mind too much if me and Edward signed the bottom of this
table?"
- 586 -
 She was still giggling as she leaned down and handed us a marker, "If ya want…I
only really kept this table 'round cuz of you…when ya get a place for it, ya can have
it."

He smiled a beautiful dimpled smile, "Really? That's real nice of ya. Thanks."

She nodded and went back to making us some sandwiches while Jasper signed his
name under the angel I had pointed to and then he handed me the marker for me to
sign under the angel he had pointed to.

We were still giggling when we finally came up from under the table. Bobbi Sue
had placed our sandwiches and lemonade at the table and smiled, "Ya'll go ahead
and get started…I'm gonna go grab the stuff I wanna show ya."

We nodded and said thanks as we started to dig into the club sandwiches she had
made.

A few minutes later she returned with a big cardboard box. She set it down at
Jasper's feet and his eyes lit up as he spoke with a mouth full of food, "Bear bear!"

He reached down and pulled out an old teddy bear with a missing eye and you
could tell where the arms and legs had been sewn back on.

I giggled from his reaction as he hugged it to him and then he seemed to realize
where he was as his face turned scarlet.

Bobbi Sue giggled, "Yep, there's your bear bear. I bet ya was downright
heartbroken when it got left behind. Ya carried that thing 'round with ya,
everywhere ya went."

Jasper's beautiful smile now faded into a deep frown as he studied the bear,
"Yeah, I went to sleep with him that night…I woke up the next mornin in the back of
some loser's car as him and mama were flyin down the highway. I cried all day and
night cuz she left him."

My heart was breaking for my angel as his fingers ran gently across the old bear's
tummy.

He sighed, "Granny got this for me the day I was born…"

Bobbi Sue interrupted, "No, son…your daddy got that for you the day you was
born."
- 587 -
 He shook his head, "No, granny told me she got it."

She sighed, "I'm sorry, Jasper. I was there the day you were born and your daddy
bought this in the hospital gift shop."

He shook his head again, "Why would she lie? My granny wouldn't do that."

Bobbi sighed again as she pulled out an old photo album, "Jasper, are you sure you
want to know what really happened all them years ago? I ain't sure if it's gonna
really help you any, son. It's just the truth, nothin more."

He sat the bear back down and nodded, "Yeah, I wanna know."

She nodded and opened the album. There were several pictures on the first page
of what I assumed to be of her and Linda as toddlers. Linda's blue eyes sparkled and
her golden hair was long and wavy. She was a beautiful little girl.

She smiled, "Me and your mama grew up together, from the time we was babies.
My mama and hers went to the same church and so they began makin play dates for
us. We were best friends. I remember lookin up to your mama. She was always the
pretty one, with her baby blues and golden waves. She was outgoin…a real tomboy.
She taught me how to ride my bike, how to catch frogs down in the old creek, she
taught me how to throw a mean left hook. She was a free spirit."

The pictures reflected all of this information as she turned the pages, revealing
pictures of lanky young girls covered in mud and dressed in their Sunday best.
Linda's eyes sparkled in every picture, you could see the happiness in them.

She turned the page again and there was a picture of Linda with a baby boy in her
lap. Bobbie continued, "When we were 7 years old, your mama's little brother was
born. We loved playin with that boy. He was beautiful…always laughin and gigglin.
He followed us everywhere we went. He was your granny's pride and joy."

She kept turning the pages as we saw the progression in age. He really was
beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes, dimpled smile. The last picture on the page showed
the three of them, Linda and Bobbi with their arms around each other, giving each
other bunny ears, the boy was pushing his way in-between them laughing.

I watched as her eyes became glossy, "This is the last picture we ever took of
him…we were both twelve and we were walkin home from school down that old dirt
road you drove up…"

- 588 -
 I watched as her fingers started trembling as she brushed them over his picture.
Her voice was becoming strained as she tried to speak, "We was just gettin to that
age where we was noticin boys…we were so excited cuz Jimmy and Henry were
walkin us home. Anyway, here he come, barrelin down the road to meet us…maybe
if we wasn't so distracted by those boys…maybe we would've got to him in time…"

She was sobbing quietly now and I watched as Jasper's frown deepened. I reached
for the Kleenex on the windowsill and handed it to her. She sobbed her thanks and
took a deep breath before continuing, "The truck rounded the corner so fast that we
barely even seen it…all I heard was a thud sound and Linda screamin. The truck
never stopped…we were covered in blood…the boys ran off…Linda ran up to
him…he was layin off at the edge of the road…he was still breathin but barely…we
didn't know that we shouldn't move him. Linda grabbed him up and we ran all the
way back here…he was gone by the time we made it."

Jasper sighed and whispered as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand,
"That's messed up."

She nodded as she whispered out, "You ain't heard nothin yet, son."

She turned the next page and there was the program from the funeral. She pulled
back the clear part and handed it to Jasper.

I put my hand on his arm as he opened it up and whispered, "Jasper Alan Reed.
That's my name…Jasper Alan…"

Now Bobbi Sue furrowed her brows, "No, sweetie…you're Jasper Wayne…"

He shook his head, "No, I 'member every time granny was gettin on me for
somethin, she'd yell 'Jasper Alan'…"

She shook her head now as she rummaged through the box. She pulled out a
manila envelope and handed it to him, "It's your birth certificate."

He took a breath as he opened the envelope. There, as plain as day, read 'Jasper
Wayne Whitlock.'"

He muttered, "Fuck," under his breath.

She cleared her throat and took a sip of her lemonade, "You were named Jasper
after your uncle but Wayne after your daddy. Are you sure you want to hear the rest,
darlin? It don't get no better after this…"
- 589 -
 He put his elbows on the table and rubbed his hands along his face. He blew out a
deep breath and nodded.

She grabbed another Kleenex and kept on, "After that day, your granny…she was
so angry at your mama. She blamed her for her baby boy's death. She even started
callin her all kinds of horrible names and sayin she was a harlot cuz she knew we
had been talkin to those boys when the accident happened. Linda stopped comin
'round after that. I'd see her in school and that little sparkle in her eye…that free
spirit…was slowly breakin."

His face was still buried in his hands and I heard him sniffle. I continued just
holding onto his arm to offer some kind of support.

Tears kept falling from Bobbi Sue's eyes as she spoke in a strangled whisper, "She
had bruises…all over and…the teachers never thought much of it cuz she was such a
tomboy…she was always gettin into stuff…but I knew better. She stopped talkin to
me after that. I was heart broken…she was my best friend…and then she was
just…gone. When summer came a couple months later, I'd wait for her by the old
pond where we'd go swimmin…prayin that she'd show up…she never did."

She blew her nose and took another sip of her lemonade. Jasper's face was still
buried in his hands. I put my arm around his shoulder and ran my fingers through
the curls at the nape of his neck…it always seemed to calm him down.

She cleared her throat before she started again, "I was so worried bout her…one
day I finally decided to go to her house and ask her what I had done for her to
just…forget me. I knocked on the door and her mama answered. She said Linda was
busy but I seen her in the background…she was limpin really bad. So, I waited till
later that night, after I figured her ma and pa would be sleepin…I snuck out and
came here."

I watched as her hands tightened into fists as she squeezed the tissue hard in her
hands, "I came to…the window and…what I saw…"

She started sobbing now worse than before and my heart was racing at the next
piece of information we were going to hear. I hated that Jasper was hearing this…I
hated that he was hurting.

She wiped at her eyes and breathed out, "Her daddy…he was…on top of her…she
was screamin and fightin…"

Jasper pulled his hands through his hair as he looked down at the table. I barely
- 590 -
heard him whisper, "He raped her…"

Bobbi Sue nodded, "I should've done somethin…I was just so scared…I couldn't
believe what I was seein…"

Jasper looked over at her through red rimmed eyes, "Why didn't she tell Granma?"

Her head fell down in her hands as she whispered, "Oh God…Jasper, please don't
hate me…I saw your granny through the window…she was standin in the
doorway…she seen the whole thing…she just shook her head and walked away…"

I heard the chair skid across the floor before I even saw him jump up. Tears were
streaming down his beautiful face but he was scarlet as anger took him over, "What
the fuck?! Ain't no fuckin way! You're a god damn liar! Fuck this shit, I'm outta
here!"

He started for the front door and was half way down the steps before I caught up
with him. I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. Instinctively, he turned
and quickly shoved my hand off of him.

I stumbled back a little, caught off guard, and his eyes went wide as he grabbed
me suddenly around the waist to keep me from falling.

His chest was heaving as he pulled me to him, burying his face in my neck and
whispering, "I'm so sorry…I wasn't even thinkin…I'd never hurt you…are you okay?"

I nodded as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and nuzzled my face into his
neck, "I'm okay, Jay. It just caught me off guard…"

He was crying quietly into the crook of my neck as he held onto me tighter than
he ever had, "I'm so fucked up, Edward…my head is so fucked right now…I
remember how my granny used to talk about my mama…I grew up hearin bout how
she was a whore…she hated mama…she called me by her dead son's name…she
didn't even really love me…I was a fuckin replacement…I don't even know who I
fuckin am…"

He was shaking in my arms as his fists balled up my t shirt in the back as his grip
on me was unyielding.

I just held him with equal force and whispered, "This doesn't change anything,
Jay…you know exactly who you are. You're my angel…you're Carlisle and Esme and
Peter and Charlotte's son…you're Emmett and Brady's best friend…"
- 591 -
 I pulled away from his grip and cupped his wet, tear stained cheeks, "Listen to
me…it doesn't change anything, Jasper. You can't change the past, baby…you can't
let the past control your future…your future is with me…I love you…we'll get
through this together…you and me against this whole fucking world, baby…you
remember?"

His breathing had started to calm down as he nodded his head and sniffled. I ran
my thumbs across his closed eyelids, wiping away his tears. My heart was aching for
him. Jasper had been through way too much today…and completely sober at that. I
knew that he had spent the last four months of his life numbing himself to his
feelings with drugs and alcohol. I knew my baby…his emotions were incredibly
strong and now everything was just crashing upon him like a tidal wave.

Once his eyes opened, his cheeks turned red again and he looked down at the
ground and mumbled, "Shit…I'm sorry for breakin down…"

I just raised an eyebrow and smiled at him because I couldn't begin to count all
the times I had broken down on him. He smiled back and laughed softly as he pulled
me into another hug. We held each for awhile and he whispered, "Thank you,
Edward. I love you too. We're in this together…I won't forget."

When we pulled away this time, Jasper looked over my shoulder to Bobbi Sue. She
was sitting on the porch steps still crying. He sighed and walked over to her, "Bobbi
Sue…I'm real sorry for the way I talked to you…I shouldn't have…"

She shook her head as she wiped her eyes with a tissue, "No, baby…don't you
apologize for that…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have ever said nothin…"

He took a deep breath and sat down next to her as he pulled out his cigarettes,
"Mind if I smoke?"

She shook her head, "No…hell, I don't even smoke and I need a cigarette after
that."

He smiled a little as he lit it up. I watched him take a long drag and exhale slowly.
He took another breath and looked over at her, "Don't be sorry for tellin me…things
are startin to make a little more sense now…things mama's done and things I
'member bout granny…the pieces of the puzzle are startin to fit together now."

He looked over at me and patted the spot next to him on the porch step. I smiled
and walked up to the step above him. I sat down with my legs on either side of him
so he could lay back against my chest. I ran my fingers through his curls as he
- 592 -
sighed contently. He took another drag and looked over at Bobbi Sue, "There's
more, ain't there?"

She nodded slowly and looked out over the field behind the house. He nodded too
and sighed, "Go ahead…tell me the rest…otherwise I ain't ever gonna know the
truth."

She took a deep breath and began again, "After seein what I saw…I ran back
home…scared half to death and not knowin what to do. Her daddy made that
decision a little easier the next day. I was walkin home from the store for my mama
when his old truck pulled up beside me. He opened the passenger door and told me
to get in. I said no…and then I seen the shot gun layin in the seat. I was just a kid…I
was scared to get in the truck but scared to run too…so I got in."

She grabbed another tissue and sighed, "He never touched me…but he told me
that he seen me in the window…he said if I ever told anybody what I seen…that he'd
teach me a lesson just like he did Linda. He said that if little girls like us was gonna
act like grown women…then he was gonna teach us what bein with a man was really
about. He blamed us for the loss of his only son…blamed us for bein whores and
talkin to boys when we shoulda been payin attention to other stuff…he let me go
without hurtin me but told me that I was to never speak to Linda again or else we'd
both pay."

"So, for the next two years, I stayed away. I watched from a distance as the girl I
once knew as my best friend in the whole world, just…slowly disappeared. When I
was fourteen, I started datin this guy who was best friend's with your daddy. They
was in school with us…a couple years older. Wayne started datin Linda when they
met in their lunch period. They fell fast…those two were inseparable and completely
in love. I started seein her a little now when my boyfriend and Wayne would hang
out. We started talkin a little but never bout anythin from the past."

"And then, she became pregnant. Her mama was furious but your daddy vowed
that he was gonna stay by her side…marry her as soon as he could and take care of
her and the baby. She was six months pregnant when Wayne caught her drinkin at a
party one night…he was mad as hell, But she was drunk and we was all in the car as
they was arguin…she let it slip that she was too scared to have the baby cuz she
wasn't sure if it was Wayne's or her daddy's…"

Jasper groaned as his head went to his hands again, "He never stopped rapin
her…"

Bobbi Sue shook her head, "No…he never did. When Wayne heard…the devil
- 593 -
himself couldn't have stopped him from goin after her daddy. We all tried to stop
him but he drove straight here…confronted her daddy…a fight broke out…Wayne
beat him within an inch of his life. Later that night, your grandpa had a heart attack
and ended up passin away a couple days later…the cops picked Wayne up, held him
on involuntary manslaughter. But his daddy was fishin buddies with the judge, and
he got him a good lawyer…they ended up sayin that the fight was just a fight since
Wayne was pretty fucked up too and the heart attack wasn't his fault…anyway, the
judge gave him an option, since he was only seventeen…serve time in prison or join
the military. So, your daddy joined up."

Jasper just shook his head and mumbled, "Fuck my god damn life…"

I squeezed his shoulders and he leaned back into me while I started rubbing them.

Bobbi Sue continued, "Because of you, your granny allowed Linda to go ahead and
marry your daddy 'fore he left. They got married two days 'fore you was born so you
could have his last name…"

Jasper's head shot up, "Wait a second…you're tellin me my daddy married my

mama before he even knew I was his?"

She nodded, "Yeah, son…he loved her and said that it didn't matter if you was
his…he'd raise you as his own. But, you was born and Linda wanted the paternity
test…she just had to know…thank the good Lord you did turn out to be Wayne's. So,
he left for the Marines and your mama and you stayed with your granny…but your
granny…well, she had lost a son and now her husband…she was angry, bitter…this
is such a small town that somehow word got around that Linda had to have a
paternity test done on you so now your granny was dealin with the small town
gossip bout her 'whore of a daughter.' She wanted you to stay with her…raise as her
own…but she kicked your mama out at 15 years old."

Jasper muttered, "Fuckin bitch…" under his breath.

Bobbi Sue sighed, "I snuck her into my house for a couple days but that didn't last
long. She met some guy…he was a real badass…criminal, druggie, you name it…she
ran off with him in the middle of the night. She stayed gone for three years. Wayne
was heartbroken. She finally popped into town one night and begged your granny
for help…sayin she was hooked on drugs real bad and needed to get clean 'fore
Wayne got home. She wouldn't help her. So she left again. The next year, Wayne
came back home and she showed up again. He said he was gonna help her get clean
and get them a house so ya'll could be a family…he wanted her so much…but two
weeks into the program, she relapsed and took off again. So, he re-enlisted and you
- 594 -
still stayed with your granny. A couple years later, she came back and that's when
she took you."

Jasper just sighed and buried his face into my chest for a minute as I played with
his curls. Eventually he pulled away and lit another cigarette, "So, mama never
loved me, daddy couldn't love me without mama, and granny loved me cuz I
reminded her of her son…"

Bobbi put her hand on his shoulder, "No, son…your mama loved you, I'm sure she
still does. That night after her mama kicked her out and she stayed with me…she
cried all night cuz she wanted you, her baby boy. But she knew she couldn't give you
a decent life…she was only 15, no education and no way to take care of you. She
thought the right thing to do was leave you there until she could take care of you.
And your daddy…he was so in love with your mama that losin her…crushed him. He
knew he couldn't take care of you by himself. You was four years old when he came
back from the Marines…you had a home and a person who loved you…he knew he
couldn't do no better than you had. And your granny…she may have been a little
crazy but the woman loved you with everythin she had, Jasper. She spent the last
few months of her life, makin sure that she could leave you everythin she could think
of that would help you out in your life. Your family may be loonier than a toon,
sweetie…but they all loved you fiercely."

He sighed and just looked away as he took another drag from his cigarette. I knew
his mind was going a hundred miles a minute right now…analyzing every word she
had spoken and every memory he could drudge up. My heart ached for my blue eyed
angel.

The information she had given us was quite overwhelming, to say the least. She
had meant what she said, it was the truth and nothing more. Nothing comforting or
awe inspiring…simply the facts that led us here.

Then I wondered aloud, "Bobbi Sue? How'd you get the house and all of Jasper's
old belongings?"

She smiled over at me, "I'm an RN, sweetie. Bout a year after Jasper and Linda
left, Maggie had a stroke. I was her personal nurse…"

Jasper snorted, "Bet that went over real good…"

She laughed now, "Your granny was madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three
legged cat! Anyway, I started spendin a lot of time with her…eventually…when she
was gettin close to the end, she started talkin to me bout the past. People have a
- 595 -
funny way of bein sorry for everythin they've done when they know they don't have
much time left. So, she sold me the house and gave me some of your things to put up
for you. I got something else that she wanted me to give you too but we need to go
in the house for that."

I followed Bobbi and Jasper back into the house, where Jasper and I settled on the
couch while she left the room again.

She came back out a minute later with a black duffle bag. She sighed, "Now,
Jasper…'fore I give this to ya…ya gotta 'member that your granny wasn't in her right
frame of mind and she figured when ya came back that you'd be on the run or
somethin…so here ya go."

She dropped the bag at his feet and he furrowed his brows as he pulled back the
zipper. Then he gasped, "Holy fuckin shit!"

My curiosity was peaked as I leaned forward, "What is it, Jay?"

He laughed as he pulled out a stack of money, "The whole thing's filled with cash!"

Now I laughed, "Holy crap! How much is in there?"

He shrugged, "I have no clue but there's a whole lot of it!"

Bobbi Sue smiled, "I reckon there's probably 50 to 60 grand in there. Like I said,
she thought you'd be on the run and need some cash. So, she sold the house to me
for 30 grand in cash…I got it from a settlement from a car accident I was in as a
teenager. Then I know she cashed out her life insurance, which wasn't a whole lot.
Anyway, she made me promise I'd get it to ya when you was 18 if you didn't come
here by then."

I watched as Jasper's smile turned into a frown and he sighed, "I can't take
this…you just keep it."

Bobbi sat down next to him now, "Son, this is your money. I don't want or need it.
She left it for you, so you'd have something…"

He shook his head, "She left it cuz she figured I'd be some damn criminal on the
run from the law or some shit…she didn't even really love me…"

Bobbi sighed, "Jasper, your granny did love you, baby. She was all sorts of messed
up but she loved you. She took care of you, didn't she?"
- 596 -
 He sighed and nodded, "Yeah…I guess that's why this is all fucked up. She was
really…good to me. But she treated mama like shit…and I feel bad for mama but she
treated me like shit…"

Bobbi grabbed his hand and sighed, "Jasper, I didn't tell you those things to make
an excuse for the way your mama treated you. I have no idea the kinda life you've
had but I know it ain't been an easy one. Take this money, son…use it for college or
to buy a house when ya graduate…"

Jasper swallowed and sighed as he nodded, "Okay, I guess I will. It could help get
me and Edward a place together after school…"

I loved that he always included me in his future plans. He was in this for the long
haul, just as much as I was. It made my heart flutter.

I grabbed the box full of his belongings and he grabbed the duffle bag.

We thanked Bobbi Sue and took the things out to the car. We slid the duffle bag
into the trunk and figured it'd be safe there, since we didn't plan on using any of it. I
put the box in the backseat for safekeeping. Bobbi Sue walked us out to the car and
smiled, "Here's my phone number. I'll hang on to the table for you as long as you
need me to. If you ever need anything, Jasper…please don't hesitate to call me. Take
care of yourself, son."

She pulled him into a hug and held onto him for a minute. She whispered, "I know
it don't make no difference what I think, Jasper…but I'm real proud of you, son. You
seem like a real good boy."

He sighed, "I'm workin on it, Bobbi Sue. Take care of yourself. Thanks for
everythin."

She pulled away and smiled, "If ya wanna go see your granny's grave…just head
back into town and you'll see the signs for Rosewood Cemetery. Ya'll be careful and
have a safe trip…to wherever it is you're headin."

I smiled back and held out my hand for her, "We will, ma'am. Thank you."

She leaned into Jasper as she took my hand and whispered, "Ya better hang on
this one, son…he seems like a keeper and cuter than a speckled pup in a red
wagon."

He laughed and put his arm around my waist, "Yeah, he's a keeper alright."
- 597 -
 I smiled over at him, "You're not so bad yourself, cowboy."

My heart fluttered again as the pink tinge came to his cheeks. We said our good
byes and jumped in the car, headed back down the road.

Jasper was driving and I noticed him heading back into town so I figured we were
going to his grandmother's grave. He was unusually quiet and I knew everything
was weighing heavy on his mind. He pulled off the side of the road in a wooded area
and laid his head on the steering wheel.

I reached over just as his shoulders started to shake. I ran my hand through his
curls and whispered, "Come here, love."

A moment later, his arms were wrapped tightly around my neck and he was
sobbing onto my shoulder.

I held him tight and whispered, "Let it all go, baby."

He squeezed me tighter and whispered through broken sobs, "I'm sick of…fuckin
cryin…all the…god damn time…what the…fuck is wrong…with me…you're the…only
person…who's ever just…loved me for…no reason…at all…please don't…ever leave
me…I need…you so…fuckin much…"

My eyes filled with tears as my angel cried on my shoulder. I whispered as I held

him as close as two people could possibly get, "I'll never leave you, Jasper…never. I
know this day has been overwhelming for you, baby…please don't feel weak…look at
it for what it is. You've been hit with so much today and you're dealing with all of
this completely sober, Jay…you've been numb, baby…and now everything is
crashing down. But I promise you that when the lightening and thunder subside…I'll
still be here, holding onto you for dear life, love."

I held him for awhile until his sobs eventually did subside. He pulled away with a
sniffle and a frown. His brow was furrowed and I could tell now that the sadness had
dwindled but the anger was building up.

He needed to vent his anger before it exploded so I quickly jumped out of the car
and walked around to the drivers side. I opened his door and reached my hand out
to him. He took it as he furrowed his brows and stepped out of the car, "What are
you doin, Edward?"

I held his hand and led him off into the woods just a bit before I let go and took a
deep breath, "You're going to lose it, Jay. I can read you like a book so go
- 598 -
ahead…scream, cuss, let loose and get it out of your system."

I watch his fists clench and his face turning red before he just starts screaming,
"What the fuck is wrong with my god damn family?! My gran daddy's a god damn
pedophile…my granny's fuckin crazier than a shithouse rat…and my mama was so
fucked up by both of them that she's in a fuckin Indiana prison right now! Fuck! My
head is so fucked up! Do I hate my granny for what she did to my mama or do I love
her for takin care of me?! Do I forgive my mama for fuckin me up cuz she was so
fucked up to begin with?! How the fuck am I supposed to feel?!"

He's pacing and screaming and pulling at his hair. I lean against a tree and listen
to him go because I figure he'll run out of steam pretty soon and probably cry again.
I hate that I can't take this pain away from him. I gladly would…I would do anything
to keep him from suffering. But I know that he just has to get this shit out because if
he keeps it bottled in, it will eat away at him.

"And what the fuck?! My daddy wanted me 'fore he even knew I was his…but
every fuckin time I see him, he just wants to knock the shit outta me?! It doesn't
make no god damn sense! Why'd granny walk away when that bastard was rapin
her?! Twelve fuckin years old, god damn it! Was she that fuckin angry at her only
god damn daughter for not bein able to save her son?! Why the fuck wasn't she
watchin him instead of lettin him run down the god damn road?! Was she fuckin
jealous cuz her sick ass husband wanted her daughter instead?! Then she leaves me
a bag full of money cuz she's certain I'm gonna be on the fuckin run like a god damn
criminal?! This is all so fuckin…"

And then he's crying again as his hands hide his face and he sobs, "…I don't
wanna feel this way no more, Edward. Help me…please darlin…"

I wrap my arms around him and hold him as close I can get. I run my fingers
through his hair as I whisper, "Shh, baby…it's going to be okay. I know it's all too
real and raw right now but I promise that you'll get through this, Jay."

I walk him over to a big tree behind us and sit down, pulling him into my chest as
he cries. I rock him back and forth and begin mindlessly humming…hoping that the
sound will soothe and distract him.

A short while later, I can feel his laughter against my chest. He looks up with
bright blue puffy eyes and his gorgeous dimpled smile, "Edward? You're hummin
'Winnie the Pooh.'"

I scoff, "I most certainly was not!"

- 599 -
 He laughs and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, "You were! Listen…"

Then he starts humming and I can feel my face begin to burn as crimson as the
sun when I realize, I was, in fact, humming Winnie the Pooh.

I shrug and look down at the ground, "I like Winnie the Pooh."

He laughs and wipes his eyes off as he pulls my chin up to meet his dazzling baby
blues, "I really needed that…thanks, Eddie."

I smile back even if I am still a little embarrassed, "Anytime, Jay."

He sighs and lays his head back on my shoulder and whispers, "Thanks for
everythin today…I woulda never got through it without ya by my side. I'm sorry I'm
such a basket case right now."

I sighed as I brushed my fingertips down his strong bicep, "Jasper, I'll always be
by your side because you've always been by mine. And as far as being a basket
case…you most certainly aren't. You're the strongest man I've ever known,
babe…but you're still human. I used to always think of you as Superman…but you're
so much stronger than he could ever be. It's easy to be strong when you're
indestructible, baby…but you can be hurt…it makes you all the more stronger and
braver that you're able to fight through it, Jay because I know that you're hurting
right now yet here you are, able to laugh when I absent mindedly hum Winnie the
Pooh. You never cease to amaze me, love."

He pulled away with a small smile as he whispered, "You're a keeper alright. I love
you, Edward."

He leaned forward and brushed his strong lips against mine. My lips parted as I
brushed my tongue along his bottom lip. I felt his tongue drink me in and soon I
became lost in the taste of honey and tears. I'm not sure how long we kissed, but by
the time my eyes opened again, the sun was fading as the sky turned into warm
shades of orange and pink and purple against the emerald backdrop of the treetops.

I looked into those deep pools of midnight blue surrounded by red rimmed edges…

God, he's beautiful…

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, "We should get goin 'fore it gets too late."

I nodded and helped pull him up. We walked back to the car, the rough calluses of
- 600 -
his fingers clenched in mine were soothing and calming.

I decided to drive this time and he asked for me to take him to the cemetery. I saw
the sign as we headed into town and it didn't take long until we were there. We had
stopped briefly for me to run into a flower shop and buy some wildflowers…he said
they were her favorite.

We walked hand in hand to the gravesite and saw that hers was between her
husband's and child's. Jasper sighed and pulled a daisy from the bouquet and placed
it on Jasper Alan's grave.

He bent down and laid the flowers on Maggie's grave as he sighed,

"Granny…thanks for takin care of me. I still love you…even though it hurts me to my
heart to do so. I guess I'll never understand the past…but I gotta let it go to move
ahead to my future. So, I'm lettin go. Rest in peace, granny."

He turned and smiled weakly at me as I opened my arms to him again. I pulled

him into a soft hug and whispered my love for him.

We made our way back to the car as the luminescent hues of soft colors faded into
a crisp navy sky. We took off back down the highway and it wasn't long before
Jasper was curled up fast asleep in the passengers seat…

…the seat we made love in for the very first time…

I felt my cheeks burning as I remembered the last time he laid in that seat. But he
was sound asleep now, worn out from an exhausting day of truths and revelations
that answered some questions…but created many more.

It was interesting to me the things we remember as children, only to grow up and

realize the half truths and twisted versions of reality we thought we knew. It made
me wonder about my own childhood and scenarios of what could have happened to
my parents began playing in my head.

Eventually I gave up the attempts at deciphering my past and focused on what

was truly important…the present. I thought about my mom and dad and all of the
hell I had put them through. Feelings of guilt washed through me at the memories of
my mother's soft cries and the slivers of gray hair that now adorned my dad's ash
blonde locks due to my inability to let my past go.

I sighed and pulled out my phone, suddenly missing them both extraordinarily. I
pulled over at a rest stop and dialed his number.
- 601 -
 "Son?"

His voice brought a small smile to my face, "Yeah, dad, it's me. I figured I should
call and check in."

I could hear the smile on his face, "I'm glad you called, Edward. Are you boys
doing okay?"

"Yeah…well, it's been kind of a trying day for Jasper. He's asleep."

"Oh? What's going on, son?"

I sighed and told him a little about today, nothing in detail because I figured that
was Jasper's story to tell but it felt good to get some of the burden off of my
shoulders.

He sighed, "Sounds like you've both had an exhausting day, son. Maybe you
should call it a night soon and get a room."

I looked over at Jay who's brow was wrinkled as he whimpered in his sleep, "Yeah,
I think we will. Hey dad?"

"Yeah, son?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose,
"Um…I'm really sorry for making you worry so much about me. I know that things
haven't been easy with me…but I'm really thankful that you and mom…wanted me
when no one else did. I love you both more than you'll ever know."

I heard him let out a breath then chuckle, "I'm a dad, Edward…worrying is part of
the job. And…I'm really thankful that we found you, son. We love you too…and some
day, if you have children of your own…you'll understand just how much."

I smiled at the thought of maybe having a child one day. I know I had said that I
didn't want any…biologically, that was correct…but maybe…well, Jasper said he
never really wanted kids either so…

I sighed, "Thanks dad."

He yawned as I heard the intercom in the background so I figured he must be

working.

- 602 -
 "Son? Have you gotten the oil changed and all the fluids checked?"

"Um…no. Am I supposed to?"

He laughed, "Thank God you have Jasper with you…tomorrow, I want you boys to
get the oil changed and make sure everything's in good working order before
continuing further."

I smiled, "Okay, we will, dad."

"Alright, son. You boys have a good night. Be safe and get some rest."

"Okay, dad. Love you. Good night."

"I love you too, son. Good night."

I pulled back onto the interstate as Jasper continued whimpering and mumbling in
his sleep. The words, 'No', 'Stop', and 'Please', spilled into the nighttime air. I found
the next motel quickly and pulled in to wake him from his apparent nightmare.

I reached over and brushed my fingers through his sweat dampened curls, "Jay?
Wake up, baby…"

He whimpered again so I brushed the back of my hand along his cheek and tried
again, "Wake up, love…"

He shot forward and gasped. He looked around for a moment with wide eyes
before looking over at me and letting out a breath. He reached over and pulled me
into a hug, "Oh thank God…for a minute, I thought I was on the highway with mama
again…"

I wrapped my arms around him and whispered, "Are you okay, babe?"

He pulled away and nodded as he pulled his hands through his sweaty hair before
rubbing them on his jeans, "I'm okay, darlin…Jesus, I'm sweatin like a whore in
church…"

I nodded, "Yeah, it sounded like you were having a nightmare."

He sighed and looked out the window, "Yeah…well, I'm gonna go get the room."

He hopped out of the car and a few minutes later he was back with the room key.
- 603 -
We drove down to the room and grabbed our bags from the car.

He was very quiet again and a little antsy as he went through his bag and pulled
out a pair of boxers, "Hey Edward?"

I grabbed some of my own as I looked up at him, "Yeah, babe?"

"Um…would you mind runnin and gettin us somethin to eat? I'm starvin and I saw
a couple fast food joints down the road."

I nodded, "Sure, Jay. You want to come with me?"

He shook his head, "No…um…I think I'm gonna take a quick shower…if you want
me to, I will though…"

Now I shook my head, "No, that's okay babe. Take a shower, I'll be back in a few
minutes. Want anything in particular?"

He shook his head again, "Whatever's fine. Ya know what I like. Thanks, man."

I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, "Okay, Jay. Be back soon."

As soon as I shut my car door, I let out a breath I had been holding.

Damn it…

Something was off with Jay. He was sending me out for a reason. I knew him too
well. He brought something with him…for emergencies. I wasn't sure if it was
alcohol or pills or what…but I was certain of it.

I pulled off down the road to nearby burger joint and pulled in the parking lot. I
sighed as I pulled out my phone. I hit speed dial number 6 and waited.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Greene?"

"Edward? Are you okay?"

I sighed, "Um…yeah, I'm okay. I'm sorry to call so late…"

"No, no…it's okay. Jonathan and I were just watching the news. What's up?"
- 604 -
 I took a deep breath, "It's Jasper. We went to see his grandmother today and
although she passed away a few years ago, we ran into a friend of his mother's. She
told us the truth about Jasper's grandparents and mother. It wasn't pretty, doc. In
fact…it was fucking awful. He's been having meltdowns all day and now he just sent
me out for fast food. I'm not stupid…I know he's doing something he shouldn't
be…but I don't know what to do to help him…"

I was crying softly by the time I finished and he sighed, "Calm down, Edward. You
know that he's safe with you and I'm glad you recognized what he's doing. You just
need to go back and talk to him…talk, Edward…not yell…not accuse…don't make
him feel any worse. Just be calm, be patient, and remember to assure him that you
love him and aren't going anywhere. We both know he has abandonment issues…he
needs constant reassurance that you're not mad at him or disappointed…he needs to
know that you understand and you only want to make things better for him."

I nodded as I wiped my eyes, "Okay…what if…what if he gets mad at me and

doesn't want to talk to me?"

He chuckled softly, "Edward? You are the only person who Jasper will always talk
to, no matter what. He trusts you more than he trusts himself. He needs you to be
strong for him, just as he was for you when you needed him. Just do the best you
can, son. You love Jasper…you'll know what to do. If you need help, just call me
back."

I sniffled, "Okay…I'll do whatever it takes. Thanks, doc."

"You're welcome, Edward. Have you been taking your medication?"

I nodded again for some odd reason, "Um…yeah. I put an alarm on my phone to
remind me."

"Good, good…okay, then. Well, remember to make sure you call me every Tuesday
and Friday for our session. Don't think that traveling half way across the country is
going to get you out of your therapy."

I laughed a little, "I know, doc…I believe your exact words were 'you can run, but
you can't hide.' I'll make sure to call you."

He laughed now too and then sighed, "Edward? In the morning, would you speak
with Jasper about calling me? I'd really like to continue my sessions with him as
well."

- 605 -
 "I will, doc. I better get back. Thanks."

"You're welcome, son. Good night and call me if you need me."

"Okay. Good night, doc."

I hung up, feeling a little better and resolving my strength to help Jasper through
this. I ran in and got us some burgers and fries before heading back to the room.

When I walked in, I heard the shower going so I set the food down on the table
and walked to the bathroom door. I turned the handle but it was locked.

Fuck…

I knocked softly, "Hey Jay? Food's here, babe. Open up and I'll join you."

His voice was off again as he spoke, "Um…I'll be out in a minute, Edward…I'm
almost done, baby…"

I sighed and turned with my back against the door, "Hey Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

The shower went off and I heard him sniffle as his voice croaked, "I love you too."

I ran my fingertips down the door as I spoke softly, "Please let me in, Jay. I won't
be upset, angel."

He sobbed again and my heart was aching, "Ya promise?"

I held back my tears as I whispered, "I swear it, love. Please let me in."

A moment later, I heard some shuffling and the door unlock. I pushed it open and
wanted to cry…but I didn't. He was sitting on the floor with a blanket wrapped
around him. He had a bottle of vodka in his hands and he wouldn't look up at me.

I whispered, "Thank you for opening the door. May I sit with you?"

He chuckled softly through his sobs, "Of course you can sit with me, Eddie."

- 606 -
 I pulled back the blanket and crawled underneath with him. I wrapped my arm
around his shoulder as he leaned into me.

He started sobbing harder again as he grabbed onto me, "Please don't be mad at
me…I'm sorry…"

I ran my fingers through his curls and whispered, "Shh, love…I could never be
mad at you for making a mistake. Do you remember that Christmas I snuck over to
your house?"

He nodded and whispered, "Right before our second kiss…"

I smiled against his honey curls as I held him closer, "Yeah…I was having a
difficult time dealing with my family over the holidays and I started cutting again. I
was terrified to show you…scared that you were going to be disappointed or angry
with me. But you weren't. You understood and told me that everybody messes up
once in awhile. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. It made me
feel…normal. Everything that you're feeling and the way you're reacting are
completely normal, Jay. Please don't ever think that I'm going to be angry or
disappointed in you, love."

He sniffled again and looked up at me through puffy red eyes but his baby blues
were bright and electric and his dimpled grin made my heart flutter, "Thank you,
Edward. You always know just what to say to make me feel better. I don't know how
you ended up in my arms that night…but I'm so fuckin thankful you did."

I smiled and felt my cheeks begin to burn as I remember scooting closer and
closer to him that night after his hand landed on my hip as he slept…fully intent on
kissing him again. However, he sees it as one of life's little mysteries…fate at it's
absolute best…so I just keep my mouth shut and let him have that.

"I am too, Jay. I'm glad you didn't freak out when I brushed my lips against yours."

He laughed, "Fuck, Edward…I had been wantin to kiss ya so damn bad I could
hardly stand it. That first kiss…fuck…that first had me hooked, Edward. I would
spend hours tryin to just think of an excuse to kiss ya again…but I was too scared
and I knew you'd probably do whatever I asked…so I didn't wanna ask…I wanted
you to want it as bad as I did…"

I brushed my fingertips across his cheek and into the curls at the nape of his neck,
bringing him closer to me so that his honey breath fanned out across my needy lips,
"I did want it as bad as you did, love…I still do."
- 607 -
 Our lips came together, a familiar spark of electricity crackling around us as the
air became thick and heavy with wanton desire. We breathed through one another
as the kiss lingered on for days…or hours…or maybe even minutes…nothing else
mattered when his lips were against mine.

Eventually he pulled away and smiled, "Let's go eat, baby. Thanks for goin out."

I smiled back, "No problem, babe."

We stood and he sighed as he unscrewed the cap to the vodka and began pouring
it down the sink. I smiled at him through his reflection in the mirror, I was really
proud of him but I knew that he could see it in my eyes so no words needed to
spoken.

Then, he pulled out a small baggie of pills and just shrugged as he dumped them
in the toilet, "Sorry, Eddie…I didn't take any though."

I smile, "That's really good, babe."

Once he's done, we go out and eat our cold fast food and still, it's pretty good.
Then we take a quick shower and I know Jay is exhausted when he's not all that
interested in fooling around.

We finally crawl into bed, clad in boxers this time as we wrap our long bodies
around one another. For once, he's out before I am, but eventually the rhythmic beat
of his heart lulls me into a blissful slumber once again.

Chicago is on the way to Michigan…I wonder if my house is still standing…

- 608 -
 Chapter 30

Okay, so you shouldn't need tissues for this chapter…well, er…maybe…but

not for the same reason you've needed them in the last few
chapters…hmm…too much info perhaps? Anyway, I hope you enjoy this…

Big thanks to my girl Philomena for another kickass drawin of my

boys…check out the new avatar!

BTW, I moved my fics over to the Writer's Coffee Shop also. My screen
name is the same, mistyhaze420, here's the link…

http://www (.) twcslibrary (.) ?uid=11959

I also started a Facebook page just for my FF stuff…

http://www (.) face book (.) com/!?id=100000862765436

And…ya gotta check out this banner made for me by my girl

IamKate…loving it hard, girlie! Thank you sfm!!!

http://i940 (dot)
photobucket(dot)com/albums/ad242/IAK_photos/LessonsLearned(dot)jpg

As always, songs are on my you tube playlists and the link is on my

profile…

Playlist : Calling Dr. Love by KISS (hee hee)…Can't Take My Eyes Off You
by Lady Antebellum

Jasper's POV

I woke up with a gasp as my nightmares…no, memories, haunted me even while I

slept. My beautiful boy shifted in my arms with a soft sigh against my chest and
that's all I needed to remember that I was still okay. As long as he was in my arms…I
was good.

I tightened my grip on him and started runnin my fingers through his soft bronze
hair as it helped slow down my racin heart and mind. He always had a way of helpin
me stay calm. Even when we first met, I loved touchin him…just a simple squeeze of

- 609 -
his shoulder or throwin my arm across it helped…those touches were meant to keep
him calm but they worked just as much for me.

It's funny when you look back on your life and notice things that you never did
before. Lookin back on my time with my granny…things I never really questioned
were suddenly becomin clearer and makin more sense.

She was fiercely protective of me. I remember when I was five and I saw a rabbit
hoppin down that dirt road…I took off after it and granny came runnin after
me…yellin "Jasper Alan! I told ya to never go near that road! You swore you'd never
take off again!"

She swooped me up in her arms and damn near squeezed the life outta me in a
hug. I was a little confused cuz she had never said nothin to me bout that road
before and I never swore anythin like that. But she was huggin me so good…that I
didn't care.

I remember mama comin home once and granny screamin at her on the front
porch…callin her a no good whore and that she wasn't takin me anywhere…that
mama owed her. I was mad at mama for makin my granny cry so I ran out on that
porch and told her I didn't wanna go with her…she wasn't a good mama…she was
bad…I knew cuz granny told me and I believed everythin she told me.

I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes again.

I remember after Edward told me the real story of what happened to him…I was
so angry. I remember ranting bout how when fucked up kids grow up…no one cares
and is so quick to just toss them aside. I tossed mama aside. I never once said
anythin nice to her…I called her every name that her mama had called her. No
wonder she hated me so much. Maybe if I woulda just once talked to her with a little
respect…but daddy taught me that respect is earned, not given…and in my eyes,
mama had never earned any of my respect.

My head really was all fucked up. If it wasn't for Edward…I don't even wanna
think where I would be without him.

I looked down at him and noticed how much my beautiful boy…was becomin a
beautiful man. I remember him at 13. He was scrawny and short but he had the
coolest hair I had ever seen. The color reminded me of autumn…my favorite time of
year. And it was wild, stickin up all over the place in different directions…but kinda
like that's how it was s'posed to be. He was unbelievably shy and awkward…soft
spoken and sweet.
- 610 -
 Now, Edward was only shorter than me by an inch or two. His body was still lean
but stronger now with well defined muscles in his abdomen and arms. His hair…well
that hadn't changed…and I still thought he had the coolest hair I ever seen. But
even more amazing than the incredibly sexy man that's he's growin into…is the
incredibly strong man he's becoming.

He was still shy and awkward at times, soft spoken and sweet…but he was also,
passionate and brave and cool and strong. He didn't need my protection anymore,
though I would still protect him from anything I could. He was the one tryin to
protect me now. It's funny sometimes how the tables can turn…but I guess that's
what love is really about…bein what the other one needs you to be from time to
time.

I had to get my head back on straight cuz I didn't want Edward to have to rescue
me all the damn time…hell, he already drove all the way from Washington to Texas
in a shiny silver Volvo for me…kinda like a prince on his valiant steed…

Fuck…I'm really startin to go soft…I am not gonna break out into "Someday my
prince will come!"

His whimpers pull me from thoughts and I feel him trembling against me. I run my
fingers through his soft hair and whisper, "Wake up, darlin."

He groans and I can see the wetness culminating in his closed eyes. He's having a
pretty bad nightmare if he's cryin in his sleep. So I try again, a little louder this time,
"Darlin, wake up…"

He gasps awake with wide eyes as he looks around a moment to get his bearings.
When his eyes lock on mine, they stay there, starin at me with such intensity that my
dick actually twitches.

His soft thumb comes up and slides along my cheek until it brushes underneath
my eye and wipes the wetness away. My hand reaches out to him as I mimic his
action and wipe away his tears.

He leans into my touch and closes his eyes as he whispers, "You had a nightmare
too?"

I whisper back, "Yeah…you okay, baby?"

He smiles as he nods, "I am now…are you okay?"

- 611 -
 I smile as his pretty green eyes open and look at me, "I am now."

He sighs as he lays his head back down on my chest and whispers, "You've had a
pretty rough day, baby. Do you want to talk about it?"

I wrap my arms back around him and snuggle into his warm strong body, "I don't
know, Edward. Everythin I ever thought was all a fuckin lie…I don't know how to
feel. It hurts. I just feel…" and I let out a defeated sigh as I whisper, "heartbroken."

He rests his chin on my chest as he gazes up at me, "Do you trust me?"

I'm taken aback a little by his odd question as I furrow my brow and nod, "You
know I trust you more than anythin, Edward."

He smiles that crooked grin that makes my heart race as he leans up and kisses
me softly before pulling away and hopping out of bed, "Good. Sit up and smoke a
cigarette or something…I'll be right back."

I laugh softly as he grabs his bag and runs into the bathroom, shutting and locking
it behind him.

I pull myself up to a sitting position and light up a square, tryin to figure out
exactly what he's up to.

My questions are answered a few minutes later when the door opens.

I stub my cigarette out in the ash tray as my mouth hangs open.

He's grinnin as he leans against the door frame in a pair of blue scrubs, barefoot,
and twirling that stethoscope in his fingers. I'm unable to speak at the moment but
my dick acknowledges his presence as it hardens immediately and tents the thin
blanket over my lap.

He smirks and all I can do is lick the drool from my bottom lip as he says, "Well, it
looks like I managed to fix your broken cock last time so let's see what I can do
about your broken heart…"

He saunters over to me and I definitely notice the little swagger in his step. He
places the stethoscope around his neck as he leans over top of me and straddles my
lap. His hardening dick slides against my rigid one and I bite my lip to stifle the
moan.

- 612 -
 He smiles as he leans over to my ear and whispers, "Don't worry, young
man…Doctor Love has the cure for what ails you." I don't even try to stifle the moan
this time as my hands grip his hips and he bites my earlobe softly before trailing his
tongue along the shell of my ear, causing little goose bumps to rise all over my body.

He lifts up to his knees and puts the ends of the stethoscope in his ears. He smiles
and whispers, "Let's check out this broken heart of yours and see what I can do."

He breaths gently on the end to warm it up before placing it over my heart. Then
he sighs, "Hmm…the beat of your heart seems awfully strong to me…but I wonder if
I can make it stronger…"

My fingers are diggin into his hips as I look up into his bright green eyes through
my hooded ones.

He begins rockin his hips against mine as my head falls back against the
headboard and I moan out a breathless, "Oh fuck, Edward…"

He smirks again and whispers, "I give the orders here, love."

I bite my lip again and he smiles as he keeps rockin back and forth against me, my
fingers diggin into his scrubs as I clench his nice squishy ass.

"Well, it seems as though that action certainly makes your heart beat a little
stronger…a little faster…see, listen…"

He takes the ends from his ears and place them in mine as the rapid beat of my
heart rushes through me like a runaway freight train. I swallow hard as I look up at
him again and his crooked grin flashes before he slowly starts peelin off his shirt.

I can hear my heart racin even harder and faster at the sight of his beautiful body
as it's slowly revealed to me. I see those sexy little V muscles and the hint of bronze
curls as his scrubs lay loose on his hips and he has taken off the boxers he had on
before. My eyes travel slowly upward following the hem of his shirt to see his tight
stomach and the beginning of his six pack that's starting to develop. I lick my lips as
the sight of his little hard nipples that I just want to bite and suck on as my eyes lift
up to his broad shoulders with the few little freckles splayed across them.

Finally, my eyes are on his again as the shirt comes over his head, fuckin up his
hair even more and makin it all the more sexy as hell.

My own heart beat is poundin in my ears and my dick is straining against my

- 613 -
boxer briefs, the head already wet with pre cum.

He licks his lip and the vision of his silky pink tongue sliding across his cherry
bottom lip, nearly causes me to lose it. His hands brush along my jaw and over my
cheeks until he pulls the stethoscope away and tosses it aside.

"I think your heart is okay, Jasper…so let's check your temperature. I seemed to
have forgotten my thermometer but…"

His fingers hooked into the waist of his scrubs as he began slowly pulling them
down. I groan at the sight of his rock hard cock springing forth…all big and hard
and tempting and shit.

He smirked as he twisted his fingers in the curls at the back of my neck and pulled
my face forward as he whispered, "…just put this in your mouth and let me see how
hot you are."

I moan around his cock as I take it in my mouth. My lips suck gently on the head
as my tongue swirls around and dips through the slit…the steel stud causing his
head to fall back and his eyes close as he moans long and deep.

My eyes close as my fingers grip his thighs and I work my way down around his
hard shaft…suckin and lickin and runnin that stud along the bottom. His hips start
rockin and pushin him deeper down my throat as I hum deeply around him. He
tastes and feels so fuckin good in my mouth that all my troubles are soon forgotten.

Dr. Love is the best medicine a man could have…

I can feel him pulsin and tremblin as he moans softly and his fingers brush
through my curls. But then he pulls away and my hooded eyes open and look up into
his.

They are deep forest green and half lidded as he stares down at me. The smile
from his face is gone, replaced by a look of wanton desperation.

He whispers as he runs his fingers down my neck, "I don't want to cum in your
mouth…I want to cum inside you. Can I make love to you?"

My words are caught in my throat so I nod softly and lay back against the pillow.

His eyes never leaves mine as he reaches for the lube on the nightstand. He lays it
down next to us as he reaches for his pants and begins tugging them all the way off.
- 614 -
I reach down to help as we guide them over his strong legs and toss them to the
floor.

He pulls the blanket back and nudges my knees apart gently with his as he settles
between my legs. His fingers run lovingly up my thighs as he hooks them into my
boxer briefs and slowly begins pulling them down. I lift my hips to help as he slides
them over my hips and down my thighs. His eyes are still on mine and once again,
the intensity of his emotions shines through them. They are soft and brilliant with
love and devotion.

His fingers caress my skin as he raises my legs and slides the boxers off as they
join his pants on the floor. His soft hands are drivin me crazy…never leavin my skin
as they glide up and down my legs, massaging and kneading all the stress away.

Once my feet find the mattress again, he settles himself between my legs and
leans down over me, rubbing our rigid cocks together as they're trapped between
our hard stomachs.

His elbows come to rest on either side of my head on the pillow as he stares down
at me. I wrap my arms around his waist and moan softly at the feel of his skin
against mine…so soft and so warm.

I can't wait anymore to feel his lips so I reach up and pucker mine against his. He
returns the kiss tenderly and slow. I shudder from having him so close to me, his
body pressed against mine, his lips and tongue tasting me.

Eventually, he pulls away from the kiss and begins trailing his lips and tongue
down my jaw, nipping and sucking and licking.

He ventures further down to my neck and continues his wonderful slow torture
with his lips and tongue and teeth. He doesn't leave one inch of skin unloved as he
showers my body with attention.

I'm writhing underneath him by the time he's down to my stomach. His tongue
slides over the creases of my muscles and swirls around my belly button. I'm
clenching onto the sheets beneath me as he nips and licks my hip bones, going
further down still.

He teases me as he trails kisses between my legs and gently sucks my balls but
still hasn't touched my aching, weeping cock.

A long drawn out moan escapes my lips as his satin tongue swirls around my
- 615 -
puckered hole. His tongue tastes every part of my body before finally beginning it's
ascent up my shaft.

He takes me into his warm wet mouth and one of my hands tangle in his now
slightly sweaty hair as I begin slowly pumping upwards to fuck his pretty mouth.

I hear the lid to the lube flip open and a minute later, I can feel his long slender
finger circling my hole.

Very gently he presses it in as he increases the suction around my cock and I cry
out his name, desperate for release but praying for this to never end.

My eyes roll back as he slips another finger in and begins stretching me while
rubbin up against my magic spot over and over again. Soon a third finger joins and
the sharp shot of pain makes my dick even harder as he takes me all the way down
his throat.

Sometimes a little pain…feels so fuckin good.

I love the way his fingers feel inside me and how his warm mouth loves on me. I
can feel my stomach beginning to burn and I know my release is close.

Just as my mouth opens for me to moan out 'Don't stop…' the little fucker pulls
away with a breathless whisper, "I want you to cum from me making love to you."

I groan and know that when he pushes me over the edge this time…it's gonna be
earth shattering.

He reaches over and trails a little lube down his long hard cock and I'm just
watchin…and squirmin cuz I want him so fuckin bad right now.

His hand begins slowly pumpin his cock to spread the lube around and then he
wipes his hand on the sheet to get it clean and we both chuckle a little.

Then he leans back over me with one hand pressing into the bed by my head and
the other positioning himself at my entrance. I wrap my arms around his back as he
slowly starts to push himself in.

The little shots of pain reverberate through me, only makin the bliss more intense.
My feet are diggin into the mattress as I lift my hips slightly to take in more of him.
He rocks his hips slowly as he pushes his cock all the way inside.

- 616 -
 Once he's all the way in, his other hand rests next to my head and he slides down
to his elbows. His hooded green eyes are locked on mine as his crimson lips slight
partly and he releases a breathless whimper as he holds himself still. He waits for a
moment for me to adjust to his size…and yeah, I need a fuckin minute.

Finally, I softly moan, "I'm ready, baby."

His lips capture mine in a searing kiss as he starts pullin out slightly and pushin
back in hard. I moan into his mouth and my heels dig into the bed. There's not an
inch of air between our bodies as his strong stomach captures my achin dick against
mine and the friction of our bodies rubbin together is drivin me wild.

His hands have tangled in my hair as his mouth just fuckin devours mine. My
hands run up to his broad shoulders and I'm in fuckin heaven at the feel of him. His
muscles clenching…the light sheen of sweat between our bodies…his firm, chiseled
chest slidin against mine and his strong muscular arms…my little Edward is all
fuckin man.

My cock is pulsing and I know I ain't gonna last much longer.

I throw my head back into the pillow as I break away from the kiss with a long
loud moan. This fuels him even more as he begins bitin and suckin my neck and
throat and shoulders.

Then he pulls away and reaches down to grab my leg underneath the knee and
shifts it up over his shoulder while my other foot is still diggin into the bed.

This little shift in position has me seein stars as but his stomach is no longer
against mine, rubbin my dick the way I need it. So, I reach down to start pumpin
myself as he grabs my hands and holds them firmly on either side of my head.

He moans out in sharp breaths, "I said…you're going to cum…from me…being

inside you…"

And there's no doubt in my mind that I will.

Now my hard cock is bouncing against my stomach as he holds my hands down

and continues rockin his hips faster and harder against me.

I don't even try to fight it cuz dominate Eddie rocks my fuckin world, so I let him
hold me down and fuck me senseless.

- 617 -
 Everythin starts swirlin together in a hazy cloud of pleasure and pain and love and
lust…it don't take long before my back arches and I scream out his name as I start
cumming hard as hell all over the fuckin place while my cock continues bouncin
around.

He falls against me and hangs onto my neck tight as he whimpers out a strangled,
"Jay," in my ear and I feel his warm wet release inside of me.

We hold onto each other, tremblin and shakin from the magnitude of the moment
we just shared. Our shortened breaths begin to even out and I smile when I see the
stethoscope lyin on the side of the bed.

I laugh softly, feelin better than I had all fuckin day, "You're right, doc…ya do got
the cure for what ails me."

He chuckles softly against my neck and sleepily whispers, "No charge, babe. Love
you, Jay."

I whisper as I kiss his hair, "Love you, Eddie."

And I wait for it cuz I know it's comin…soft snores.

He's fast asleep and I chuckle again at the soft snores against my shoulder. I
reach over and grab my boxers on the floor and wipe us both as clean as I can with
him wrapped around me.

And before I know it, I'm sleepin like a baby…

What the hell is that gigglin?

Before I even open my eyes, I lean forward and press a gentle kiss to his lips…no,
what the hell am I kissin?

One eye opens and I hear the gigglin again as I look at Edward's big toe, that I
just kissed.

I lift my head to look down and see Edward lyin at the opposite end of the bed
eatin a box of donut holes and watchin Spongebob.

He's laughin again as he turns to his side and smiles at me, "Good morning, love."

- 618 -
 I smile back and in my lazy southern drawl, I croak out a sleepy, "Mornin, darlin."

I start to sit up and decide that it's just too damn temptin to pass up…so, I grab
his legs and hold them as I start ticklin the shit outta his feet.

He starts laughin hysterically and tryin to kick his way free but he ain't no match
for me cuz Edward's more ticklish than Elmo.

I laugh along with him as I taunt my beautiful boy, "Who's yer daddy?!"

He kicks and laughs, "Carlisle Cullen!"

He's a defiant little fucker so I wrap my legs around his and hold his feet with one
arm as I reach down and start ticklin his inner thighs. This little spot…really drives
him fuckin crazy.

"Wrong answer, Eddie! Who's yer daddy?!"

He's buckin and tryin to pry my fingers from him as he laughs hysterically, "You're
my daddy! Now let me go! Please!"

I smile as I let him go and pounce on top of him, holdin his hands down as I notice
now that he's fully dressed and I'm still butt ass naked, "Why the hell are you
dressed? Did I give you permission to put clothes on, little boy?"

He smirks as his flushed cheeks are as cherry as his lips, "You weren't calling me
little last night…and I'm dressed because I woke up early and wanted donuts. I
bought you a coffee. I just got back a few minutes ago so it should still be hot."

I look to the nightstand and see a cup of coffee sittin there. I smile and lean down
to his neck, kissin it softly as I whisper, "Well, I guess I'll let it slide then…but next
time…I expect to wake up and find you naked in my bed."

He laughs softly again as I pull away and jump up outta bed. I go and take a leak,
then I brush my teeth.

I head back to bed and crawl under the blanket as I sit against the headboard and
light a square. My coffee is still hot so I begin drinkin it as I have my mornin smoke.

Edward's still watchin Spongebob as he giggles his ass off and eats from his little
box of donut holes. Then I see him reach down to the floor and grab a bottle of
chocolate milk. He takes a big swig and I chuckle cuz he's just so fuckin cute
- 619 -
sometimes.

His head turns when he hears me and I full out laugh when he pulls the bottle
away and he has a little chocolate milk mustache.

He smirks as he wipes the milk off with the sheet, "Hey, even chocolate milk does
a body good."

I just shake my head as I chuckle, "It sure as hell did your body good, darlin."

And then I'm thinkin that chocolate milk and donut holes sound pretty fuckin
good. So, I stub out my cigarette and set the coffee to the side as I scoot down to the
end of the bed with him, "Hey baby, wanna share?"

He pretends to think and shakes his head, "I don't know, Jay, I don't play well with
others…but for you I suppose I'll make an exception."

He hands me his chocolate milk and scooches the box of donut holes over. I smile
as I take the bottle, "Thanks, sugar, that's real sweet."

He keeps up his serious composure as he says, "A man doesn't just share his
chocolate milk with anyone, ya know."

I just laugh as I take a drink and he smiles and turns back to the TV. We lay there
for about an hour, eatin and watchin Spongebob…and it's the most fun I've had in a
long fuckin time.

We finally drag our sorry asses outta bed and go shower and get our stuff
together. Before long, we're on the road again, flyin down the highway.

And I'm havin the time of my life watchin Eddie drivin and singin to the
radio…carefree and happier than I think I've ever seen him. As bad as our time apart
was, I can't help but feel that maybe something good came from it cuz Edward
seems a lot…freer.

And it's really fuckin beautiful.

His good mood rubs off on me and all thoughts of yesterday are pushed aside as
we drive and talk and laugh…a lot.

Soon, we're passin the "You're now leaving Texas" sign and we both hoot and
holler as we pass through to Oklahoma.
- 620 -
 Who'da ever thunk that anyone could be so fuckin excited to be in Oklahoma?

We stop a few times to pick up snacks at the gas station and hit a couple fast food
joints, but mostly we stay on the road. We take turns drivin and when nightfall starts
to come around, we pull over to a rest stop and make our second call to Carlisle for
the evenin.

Eddie starts this round of drivin and I'm layin back in my seat watchin the stars
pass by through the moon hole and enjoyin the peacefulness of it all…when he
shouts, "Look! A carnival! Let's stop!"

I laugh as I look out the window and see the bright lights of a small town carnival
off the highway.

"Really, Eddie?"

He nods his head vigorously, "Yeah…I've never been to one before…"

I sit up and look over at his excited face, "Really?"

His smile fades a little and he looks at me for a moment before turnin back to the
road, "Jasper…before I met you…I would barely leave my room. Do you remember
the first time we went to the movies together and saw Transformers?"

I smile and nod, "Yeah…a couple weeks after we met."

He sighs, "That was the first movie I had ever went to see. Or when you took me
skating for the 4th of July that year…that was a first for me too. And when we went
to play laser tag…also a first. Jesus, Jay…practically every first I've ever had is with
you. You…made me not so afraid of the world that existed beyond those walls. I owe
my whole life to you."

Fuck…I love this boy…

I reach over and pop open the button on his jeans and he gasps, "What are you
doing?"

I smile as I lean over and unzip them before pullin out his awakenin cock,
"Another first, darlin. Road head."

He whispers, "Road head?"

- 621 -
 I smile and nod, "Yup, now keep your eyes on the road, Eddie."

He grips the steerin wheel with both hands as I lean down over the console and
take his cock down my throat, wastin no time as I start suckin it like the skin off a
rattlesnake.

He shakily moans, "Oh my God…"

I use all my many talents as I suck on the head…hollow my cheeks…run that steel
stud across the slit and along that throbbin vein…I hum and rotate between fast and
hard…soft and slow…until his knuckles are turnin white as he grips onto that wheel.

His hips buck as he moans, "Oh…oh…ohmyfuckingod…"

He comes deep down my throat and suck it all down like the champ I am, then pull
away and tuck his shit back in and button and zip his jeans again.

He pulls into the open field that is the makeshift parkin lot for the carnival and
just collapses against his seat the second he turns the car off.

His breathin is still heavy as he lies there flushed and sweaty and all fuckin sexy
and shit.

He finally turns to me and smiles, "Road head…is fucking awesome."

I laugh as he pulls me to him in a soft, sweet kiss and whispers his thanks.

We hop outta the car and I'm still kinda surprised when he grabs my hand and
pulls me along.

People are starin at us and makin their snide remarks but we don't fuckin care.
Edward's like a kid at a candy store and it's so much fun to watch him…it's kinda
like my first time too when I see how excited he is.

We play some games and I'm real fuckin good at that shootin game where ya gotta
shoot the movin targets. So, I win him a little stuffed black bear with plastic honey
all over it and a little plastic bee on it's pink nose.

I think he might be kinda embarrassed but instead he smiles and hugs it to him
before reaching over and givin me a kiss in front of everyone.

We walk around and I smile, "Have ya ever had an elephant ear?"

- 622 -
 He looks at me with a quirked eyebrow, "Is that like…a southern thing? Because
after I saw the pig's feet at that restaurant back in Texas…no way, no how am I
eating an elephant's ear."

I start laughin my ass off and shake my head, "It ain't really an ear, Edward! It's
like a dessert…"

His cheeks turn crimson and he shrugs, "Well, how I was supposed to know? I
mean, you guys do eat pig's feet and stuff."

I wipe the tears from my eyes as I pull him close and wrap my arms around his
waist, "Aww…baby, you're just too fuckin cute for words…ya know that?"

He smiles and blushes again as I bring my lips to his and taste my beautiful boy.

We find a food stand and get an elephant ear…which he fuckin loves. We also eat
some barbecued ribs and corn on the cob and cotton candy.

Then, we decide to ride rides.

Edward jokes, "We ride till one or both of us puke."

I just shake my head and follow him onto the Himalayan. It goes forwards and
backwards and spins around as really loud music plays and lights flash.

He has a fuckin blast and I'm just havin a fuckin blast watchin him. It turns out
that we both must have stomachs of steel cuz neither one of us get sick as we ride
every fuckin ride in the whole damn carnival.

We then head over the Funhouse and I experiment with the mirrors that make me
look short and fat. I laugh, "Hey Eddie, C'mere."

He walks over and I smile, "So, this is how I'm probably gonna look when I'm
old…ya still gonna love me?"

He smirks, "You're seriously going to shrink like two feet?"

I roll my eyes and laugh.

He then comes up behind me wraps his arms around my waist. His hands push
their way up underneath my shirt as he begins tracin my muscles with his soft
touch. He's lookin over my shoulder in the mirror as he whispers, "Understand this,
- 623 -
Jasper…I will always want you more than anything. I will always need you more than
air. I will always fucking love you."

My breathin hitches as I feel his warm body against mine and the truth in his
words wash through me.

He knows this ain't ever gonna be over too…

He kisses my neck softly and then smiles in the mirror, "Besides…this is how I'm
going to look and you're stuck with me, Jay. Forever's a long time."

I turn my head and take his soft lips to mine as I whisper, "Not long enough."

We play around a little longer until we finally decide to call it a night cuz we still
gotta drive to a motel somewhere and check in.

As we're walkin away from the carnival and back to the car, I can hear the familiar
taunts and snickers from some of the same guys we had been hearin all night.

I immediately begin checkin out our surroundings cuz I have a real bad feelin
about this.

Edward notices too cuz he leans over and whispers, "There's four of them, Jay.
They're following us."

I give a small nod and whisper, "I know, Edward…I gotta think of something…we
can't fight…we're minors and I'm kind of a runaway so if the cops get involved, I'm
goin back to Texas. There's gotta be someway outta this…or else, we fight like hell
then skirt the fuck outta here quicker than shit."

We keep walkin as my mind races…tryin to think of the best course of action.

Edward sighs when we're close to the car, "The baseball bat's still in the back
seat. I've got an idea. Trust me?"

I nod without a moment's hesitation cuz I do trust Edward with my whole fuckin
life.

He smiles before he turns to me and screams, "No Jay! He fucking told me to do

it! I've got to do it! When a demon tells you to do something, you fuckin do it!"

I caught on quickly and thought to myself what a brilliant mother fucker my

- 624 -
boyfriend and future husband was.

I yelled back as his head whipped around like he was following something,
"Edward, look! You just got outta the fuckin psych ward for this shit! You can't do
what these fuckin demons tell you to do! It's bad, remember?! You could kill
somebody! You almost have!"

He shakes his head and looks off into the night like he sees something there. And
then he begins arguing with air, "I know you want me to do that but Jay's arguing
with me! How the hell can I?! But I don't want to go back to the fucking hospital!
Why is it always your way?! Fine! Fine! Just fuck it! I'll fucking do it! God damn it!
Jay, hold my fuckin bear!"

He hands me the stuffed bear as he yanks open the car door and pulls out the
baseball bat. He takes a couple swings like he's practicing and I just sigh, "Fine,
Eddie. We're in this shit together. If you're goin back to the psych ward…I'm goin
back to jail."

I hit the button to pop open the trunk and pull out a crow bar, leavin the stuffed
bear safe inside.

I shut the trunk and we both turn to see the fuckers standin there starin at us like
they weren't quite sure if they should keep talkin shit or not.

Edward's eyes are bright and wild as I step by his side. I smile at him, "Love you,
darlin."

He smiles back, "Love you too, Jay. I'll take the two on the left…you've got the
right…"

Then he points the bat to the non existent demon and shouts, "You shut the fuck
up! I'm fucking doing it! I'll pick which ones I want!"

Then he turns back and mutters, "God damn bossy ass mother fucking demon…"

We raise our weapons…and the assholes run off mumblin somethin bout a couple
of ape shit loony fags with weapons.

Once they take off, I look at Edward who lets out a huge breath and smiles,
"Thank God that worked. Guess they knew better than to mess with a couple of
crazy gay white boys that argue with demons and threatens to go Jose Conseco on
their asses."
- 625 -
 I shake my head and laugh as I put the crow bar back in the trunk and retrieve
Edward's bear. He takes it and snuggles it as he gives me a kiss.

He throws his bat in the back seat and slides into the passenger seat. I watch his
eyes linger for a moment and a faint blush come to his cheeks and I smile cuz I know
he's rememberin our first time.

A few minutes later, we're back on the road. We drive for about another hour 'fore
gettin a room. Once we shower and fool around a little, we lay down in bed and talk.
And thoughts of mama creep back into my head, even though I don't want them too.

But he interrupts my thoughts when he grabs his wallet on the nightstand and
hands me a piece of paper from it.

I notice it's some sort of newspaper clippin and I start to say, "What's thi…"

Until I see that it's from a Chicago newspaper and a picture of a two story
house…with a window on the side, painted black.

'The House of Horrors.'

I read the article that described the events that took place and the allegations of
prior abuse and neglect.

I looked over to Edward and he sighed, "I think I want to go there, Jay…see if it's
still standing…maybe visit my mother's grave."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and folded the article back up, then handed it
to him, "Edward? You've been doin so good…are you sure that's a good idea?"

He was quiet for a moment before his soft green eyes raised to mine, "Jay? The
article called it 'The House of Horrors,' and it was. I held onto so much fear in that
house that I think if I can just see it once more…just see that it wasn't…"

He groaned and mumbled, "God this is going to sound stupid."

I lifted his chin back up and whispered, "Tell me."

He sighed, "I always thought…that maybe the house was…possessed or

something. You know, like Amityville. Anyway, if I can see that it's just a regular
house and if you're with me so I don't feel afraid of being there…I think it will help
me, Jay. So, can we go?"
- 626 -
 I didn't know if it was a good idea or not but I told myself that I would never deny
Edward anything he ever asked for again so I reluctantly nodded, "Yeah, baby…we
can go."

He smiled and kissed me softly, "Thanks, babe."

We talked for a little longer about how much fun we had at the carnival before
goin to sleep cuz we didn't want bad stuff on our minds as we drifted off. But my
mind drifted anyway…

Indiana's on the way to Michigan…maybe I could talk to mama…

- 627 -
 Chapter 31

Okay, sorry about the longer than usual wait time…real life has been a
heinous bitch this week.

I have a great fic to recommend…it's called Jungle by Dilmn8...it's not too

far into the story yet but I'm loving it. Jasper is a dancer at a club and
Edward is a vamp…seriously, what could be fuckin better than that?!

I also want to say a HUGE thanks to everyone who voted for LL at the
slashy awards! We took six categories! Best Blow Job/Rim Job, Best Dry
Hump, Best First Time, Best Hand Job, Sweetest I Love You, and Best Work
In Progress!

I was blown away you guys, so thanks!

Playlist : House of 1000 Corpses by Rob Zombie

Edward's POV

I was exhausted after driving all day and from the carnival. That had been a lot of
fun for me. It was so effortless with Jasper to just be me and let loose. We could run
around, playing games and riding rides…just hanging out and being best
friends…then, we could have our special little moments that were reserved for
lovers of the most intimate kind.

And Jasper was just that…my cool, fun best friend in the whole world…and my
loving, caring soul mate. I had never known that love could be as complete as ours
was.

I was worried when those men had been following us at the carnival because I
knew how Jasper's temper was and the thought of him losing it, terrified me because
of the repercussions. However, he surprised me.

He had thought it through logically instead of acting impulsively. He said he didn't

want to fight because he knew that he could go back to Texas if things went bad. He
had really learned his lesson.

So, I felt like it was my time to step up to the bat…so to speak.

- 628 -
 I think that when people call you and treat you like you're crazy, you believe them.
But once you come to an understanding with yourself…embrace your
craziness…then you find that it's not such a bad thing. I was different from everyone
else…a classic freak by my peers…but I didn't see that as a bad thing anymore. I
liked that I was different because it made me unique and strong and smart. I liked
me now.

And that was all thanks to the beautiful blue eyed boy who gave me a chance and
asked me to play some ball with him.

Funny how things work out sometimes.

Sleep found me easily as I listened to my favorite lullaby.

Oh God that feels so good…so good…oh God…don't stop…don't stop…ugh…

My sleepy eyes part for just a moment as I gasp for air at the feeling of Jay's hard,
thick erection rubbing against my backside. I squeeze my eyes shut and groan as he
presses me face down into the mattress, my own erection grinding into the mattress
as he grinds behind me.

I move my face to the side so I can breathe as I moan, "Feels so good, Jay…"

He grunts but doesn't say a word as he pins me to the mattress and continues
rolling his hips against my ass to the point that I'm begging, "Oh God, Jay…just fuck
me…please baby…please…"

He mumbles something unintelligible as his grip tightens on my shoulders and his

boxer clad steel cock slides up and down my pajama clad ass.

So, I beg again as my sleepy hazy mind reels from the raw lustful attack my sexy
angel is releasing upon me, "Please, Jay…fuck me, baby…I need you…please…"

His hot breath is against my neck as he mumbles, "Mmm…so fuckin tight…feels so

fuckin good…"

And something is off, so my eyes snap open and I turn my head to look into his
baby blues…only, his eyes are shut.

Is he even awake?

- 629 -
 "Jay? Jay, baby, you awake?"

He groans and mumbles against my shoulder, "Mmm…love fuckin your squishy

ass…ya want it harder, Eddie?"

And I bury my face for a moment as I start laughing because Jasper is fast asleep,
dreaming of fucking me, and currently dry humping the hell out of my ass.

But my laughter is quickly replaced with a throaty moan as his fingers dig into my
hips and he starts pounding against me relentlessly.

Holy fuck…should I wake him? How the hell is he still sleeping?

My dick is throbbing now as the mattress is not providing the kind of friction I
need. He pulls me up on all fours and my mind is clouded with wanton desire as he
grunts and growls.

I lean forward with one arm and reach the other down to wrap around my length
so that I can relieve the tension myself.

I start working my hand up and down my hard aching cock as he pounds into me
from behind. I match my thrusts with his own and all too soon I feel him collapse
against me with a strangled, "Edward…"

I'm still hard as hell and throbbing with a vengeance as he rolls off of me, onto his
back. His shallow panting is starting to subside as he smiles, still with his eyes
closed and mumbles, "Holy shit…fuckin…incredible…get some hot
wings…breadsticks …fuckin love you, pretty boy…"

And even though I'm extremely sexually frustrated right now…I laugh because
he's really cute when he talks in his sleep…

But now, I need relief.

I think for a moment about waking him up but, he's already cum and really happy
in his little wet dream so I don't want to disturb him.

Then I think about taking a shower and relieving myself that way but it's 3 in the
morning and I don't really want to get wet.

So, I just turn to my side and look at his beautiful sleeping face. His cheeks are
still flushed from his exertion…his pink lips are slightly parted as his breathing has
- 630 -
finally evened out…and his golden curls are hanging loosely over his eyes.

He's simply breathtaking and all the inspiration I need as I reach down and pull
my throbbing length out and begin slowly pumping it.

My hungry eyes rake over his half naked form and my dick twitches at the sight of
his strong, lean chest…that mouth watering V that disappears inside his boxers…the
rise and fall of his tight stomach as he breathes.

I rub my thumb over the slit and spread the wetness from the tip around as I
continue softly stroking myself as I watch him sleep.

A small whimper escapes my lips as he reaches down and adjusts himself in his
sleep so I bite my lip to stifle it. I roll over on my back but keep my eyes on him as I
pleasure myself.

My mind wanders to thoughts of him inside of me…his hard length filling me as he

makes love to me for the very first time.

I'll admit that I'm a little scared because…well, I don't want to think about why I'm
scared. The important thing is that I know Jay would never hurt me. He would make
me feel incredible and special and loved. Even if there was a little pain…he would
overshadow it with pleasure.

And with those images in my mind of his sweaty, hard body above me…his
midnight eyes intense as they gaze into mine…his golden curls damp from his love
making and hanging down as he hovers above me…and the intense pure love that
would radiate from his body to mine…it doesn't take me long until I cry out his name
and cum hard all onto my stomach.

I barely have the energy to wipe myself off with the corner of the sheet before I'm
out like a light.

I awake to a groan and open my sleepy eyes to see Jay's head lying on my
stomach. His pretty blue eyes open and he smiles, "Mornin, darlin."

I smile back, "Good morning, babe."

He raises his head and immediately brings his hand up to his cheek with a
confused look, "Why am I so sticky?"

- 631 -
 My cheeks begin to burn as I remember our little midnight escapade.

Then he pulls open his boxers and furrows his brows, "Uh…Edward? Did we
um…fool around last night?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose because the thought of
telling him that I masturbated next to him while watching him sleep…yeah, that's
not at all creepy.

I feel his hand on my shoulder and his honey voice still rough laced with sleep,
"Eddie? What's wrong?"

I sigh and keep my eyes shut, "Um…you were…and then I was…and then I
couldn't…and um…"

He lifted my chin up and whispered, "Breathe, baby. Calm down and try again."

I opened my eyes and sucked in a sharp breath before just spilling, "I woke up to
you humping my ass in your sleep and I really liked it and then you pulled me up on
my knees and dry fucked the hell out of me but you came and I didn't so you fell
asleep and I…um…I jerked off and fell asleep."

He just stared at me for a moment before I saw his lips start to curl up and soon
he was full on laughing.

I pulled the blanket over my head to hide me from my embarrassment.

He tried to pull it off but I fought to hold it. He was still laughing, "Eddie…don't be
mad…c'mon, baby…it's just funny…"

Now I let him yank the blanket off while I scowled, "I jerked off while you slept
next to me…that's not funny…it's creepy…"

Now he was howling in laughter as he reached over and grabbed his cigarettes,
"Eddie? Seriously, you're embarrassed? Dude, I'm the one that had a wet dream and
humped you like a damn dog! And so what that you jerked off next to me…I've musta
done it like a hundred times before!"

Now my brows furrowed as I whispered, "Really?"

He nodded and put his arm around my shoulder, bringing me to sit next to him,
"Yep…after we started kissin every night…I used to lie and watch you sleep
- 632 -
sometimes. I'd get so worked up from makin out with you…and when I watched you
sleep…you were so…fuckin beautiful…I couldn't help myself. Still can't."

He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. He always made me feel
better, even in the most awkward of situations.

We finally dragged ourselves out of bed and showered before gathering our things
and hitting the road. I remembered that I needed to call Dr. Greene for our
appointment today so I had Jasper drive so I could do that.

Dr. Greene asked if I was comfortable talking in the car with Jasper and I just
laughed because Jay knew more about my messed up head than anybody and he
never judged me.

So, we talked about the carnival and what happened. He laughed his ass off. Then
we talked about how I was feeling being out in the real world. I found it funny that I
hadn't even once been apprehensive about being so far away from home. I guess
that being with Jay was enough to make me feel safe so I wasn't bogged down with
the worries of being out on my own because I really wasn't. Besides, Jay was my
home.

Once our hour was up, he asked to speak to Jasper so I handed him the phone,
"Dr. Greene wants to talk to you?"

He furrowed his brows as he took the phone, "Uh…hello?"

I watched him as he spoke, "Seriously? Now?"

Then he sighed and pulled over at a gas station. He looked over at me and half
smiled, "He wants to talk to me like he does you. Can you drive for awhile?"

I nodded and asked, "Yeah, I'm going in for some chocolate milk and glazed
donuts…want coffee or something?"

Now his dimpled smile returned, "Chocolate milk sounds good and chocolate
donuts for me. Thanks, Eddie."

The boy and his chocolate…at least he's not drinking coffee like a 40 year old…

I just smiled and went in to get our morning breakfast. I also got a bunch of
snacks because my man likes to eat and I like to keep my man happy. I got my
favorites, Funyuns and Skittles, and I got him barbecue pork rinds (yuck), beef
- 633 -
jerky, and M&M's.

We should be good for a few hours.

I drove as he talked with Dr. Greene. They talked about Texas mostly and what
Jasper had been going through since leaving Forks. It was difficult to hear but I was
glad that he felt comfortable talking in front of me as well.

Once they hung up the phone, Jasper had said that he agreed to talk with the Doc
twice a week, after I did and I was happy about that because the Doc had helped me
out tremendously so I was sure he would be a positive influence on Jay.

We drove for hours that day but the time passed quickly as we sang to the radio or
music off of our IPOD's. Our nighttime escapades were incredible but I kind of
wondered how Jasper was feeling about…me taking my turn on bottom.

He never brought it up but again that night, I woke up to him rubbing himself
against my backside, muttering about how good I felt and how long he had wanted
me.

And I wanted him…I really did but…I was still a little scared. I knew it was
irrational and it wasn't fair to him that I hadn't…um…bottomed yet. So, as we drove
through Missouri the next night, I felt I had to ask.

I looked over at him while I was driving and he was leaning back in his seat, with
his feet up on the dash and his ball cap pulled down over his eyes.

"Um…Jay? You asleep?"

He lifted the cap up a little and smiled at me, "No. What's up, darlin?"

I couldn't help but smile back nervously as I took a deep breath, "Well, I
was…um…wondering something…"

He looked at me concerned now as I stumbled over my words a bit, "What's

wrong, Eddie?"

I noticed my hands were shaking and turning white as I gripped onto the steering
wheel for dear life. I had no idea why I was so nervous.

"Um…do you…um…do you want to…uh…do you want me on bottom?"

- 634 -
 My chest was heaving and my palms were sweating. And then he started laughing.

"What do you think, Edward?"

I looked over at him as he flashed me his wide dimpled grin and I could see that
glimmer in his eye.

His mood was always infectious to me and soon I was smiling too.

"Dumb question, I guess, huh?"

He reached down and rubbed himself through his jeans and I gulped at the sight
of his long, thick cock pressing against the denim.

"Yeah, baby…I want you so bad I can barely fuckin stand it. I wanna feel how tight
you are around me…I wanna feel your body clench around mine…I wanna cum deep
inside you…fuck…Eddie, I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my
whole life…but I can wait for however long it takes. I won't push you to move before
you're ready. When you're ready, you'll let me know."

I sighed as I pulled off into a motel. I turned off the car and turned to look at him,
"I don't want to make you wait…I feel like I'm being unfair…selfish…"

He stopped rubbing himself and pulled his cap off. Then he sat up and smiled as
he put it on my head backwards, "Eddie…it doesn't matter to me if you're ever ready
for that. I would gladly bottom for you for the rest of my life. It would be unfair and
selfish for me to push you into doing something you're not ready for. I love you,
baby…everything else will work itself out so please don't worry about it. I'm sorry if
my…" he actually blushed now, "…um…rampant night time humpings are making
you feel pressured."

Now I laughed as I shook my head, "You're not making me feel pressured,

Jay…you're actually quite the perfect gentleman…um…when you're awake anyway."

Now he laughed as he leaned forward and I cupped his cheek and whispered that
I loved him before pressing my lips to his in a soft, sweet kiss.

He went and got the room for the night and I was feeling much better having
talked with him about it. Part of me still felt bad and wished that I was ready…but I
was really grateful to have such a wonderful boyfriend.

We made our way to our room and I double checked the directions to my old
- 635 -
house in Chicago on Mapquest, just to be safe. We would be getting there tomorrow
afternoon sometime and my stomach was in knots.

Jasper knew I was feeling on edge and I raised an eyebrow as he pulled out the
lotion and smiled, "Wanna massage? Guaranteed to make ya feel better."

I smiled back and let out a breath, "That sounds wonderful, Jay. Thank you."

He shook the bottle and smiled, "Anytime, babe…now get naked."

I laughed but quickly complied and soon his strong, callused hands were rubbing
every inch of my body down. I felt all the stress and worry melt away underneath his
magical fingertips. I tried to fight it because I had a hard on and wanted to use it
but…sleep took me first.

The next morning I was nervous as hell and Jay had to drive. When we passed into
Illinois, my stomach was in knots again. We stopped a couple of times for breakfast
and lunch. I noticed that even Jasper hadn't eaten nearly as much as he normally
does. I was making him nervous too, apparently.

I couldn't help it…the closer we got to the house…the more I kept trying to talk
myself out of it. Jasper even tried, telling me that I didn't have to do this…that it
wouldn't make me weak or anything if I wanted to forget about it…but I just
couldn't. My father and the events that took place in that house had ruled me my
entire life…I needed to face it head on and take back control of my life. I needed to
exorcize my demons.

As we entered the neighborhood, my eyes fixated on the surroundings that I

missed growing up. The neighborhood was pretty bad. The houses that aligned the
streets were rundown and shabby, as those who occupied them obviously had no
aspirations to fix them up. Kids were running up and down the street, playing ball,
riding bikes…we even saw a fight happening on a basketball court.

My eyes narrowed as they scanned the trash covered streets and sidewalks…the
homeless people scattered along the alleys…alcoholics gathered outside the liquor
stores smoking and drinking...teenagers and adults alike littered their front porches
as they smoked joints and blunts and drank from brown paper bags.

Jasper laughed uneasily, "Shit, Edward…no wonder your dad didn't want ya to go
outside…this looks like some of the fucked up neighborhoods I've lived in."

I didn't say anything as I was mesmerized by the scenery around me.

- 636 -
 He sighed, "Sorry, Eddie…bad joke. You sure ya don't wanna just keep on going?"

I shook my head and took a sharp breath, "No."

A few minutes later, we pulled to a stop and I shut my eyes briefly before taking a
deep breath. Jasper's hand gripped mine and his callused fingertips drew small
circles on the back of my hand, causing me to release the breath and attempt to
relax.

"This is it, Edward. Across the street."

I nodded and opened my eyes. Slowly, I leaned over him and looked out the
windows. The hushed whispers and laughter started immediately as I stared at the
old abandoned house in front of me.

It was two story with a small concrete porch. The steps were cracked and broken
and the bushes out front covered most of the front. The house was a dark blue but
the paint was chipped and peeled away, exposing the rotting wood underneath.
Boards covered the windows and front door, which had numbers spray painted on it.
I figured that nobody had lived there since me.

The laughter began echoing in my ears and I became agitated as I growled, "Shut
the fuck up!"

Jasper jumped and looked at me strangely. I blushed at the realization that I had
spoken that aloud, "Um…I wasn't talking to you, Jay."

He audibly gulped and nodded as his hand squeezed mine tighter, "Okay…well,
you've seen it, Edward…let's get outta here."

He turned the key in the ignition but I quickly ripped my hand away from his and
jumped out of the car. The shadows were taunting me…

Welcome home, Edward Anthony Masen Jr.…

I muttered softly as I fixated on the decrepit old house, "I'm Edward Cullen…"

More laughter…

Come on in, Edward…unless you're too afraid…weak…pathetic…

My heart was racing and my palms were sweating but I managed to whisper, "I'm
- 637 -
n…not afraid…"

Before I could stop myself, I was running across the street and up the broken
steps. I felt two arms slide around my waist and I quickly turned and shoved the
assailant.

Then my breath hitched as Jasper stumbled back and looked at me with a hurt
expression on his beautiful face.

"Fuck…I'm so sorry, Jay…I don't know what I was thinking…I was just…"

He approached me more cautiously this time and I felt horrible. He wrapped one
arm around my waist and pulled my body flush with his. His other hand came up and
brushed against my cheek as he stared intently into my eyes, "Edward?"

I nodded as my breathing became labored and my heart was speeding up even

more, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…"

He didn't look convinced as he brushed his fingers through the hair on my

forehead and pushed it back, "What are you doing, Edward?"

I swallowed as my throat suddenly felt very dry and scratchy, "Um…I want to go
in."

His eyes widened and before I could register what happened he muttered, "Oh
hell no…" and threw my over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

I started squirming, "Jasper! Put me down!"

He just tightened his hold on me, "Ain't no fuckin way I'm letting you go in that
god damn house, Edward."

Weak…pathetic…never fights back…

My head whipped around to see the shadow streak across the windows on the
upper floor. I was starting to get pissed now, "God damn it, Jay! Put. Me. Down!"

He grabbed me and plopped me down on the hood of my car as he gripped my

hips so tight I was sure they would bruise, "You are not going in that fucking house!
Look at you, Edward! You're already talking to them! You fuckin see them too, don't
you?!"

- 638 -
 Jasper was angry but…his hands were shaking like crazy. I looked into his eyes
and tried to ignore the whispers around me. His beautiful blue eyes were starting to
become glossy…I was making him sad again.

I lowered my eyes to the ground before closing them. I couldn't bear to see the
pain in his eyes.

I needed to regain control of myself. My arms went around his neck and pulled
him to me. I whispered, "I'm sorry, Jay. I lost it for a second. Just give me a few
minutes to get myself back together again, okay?"

He held me tight and whispered into my neck, "It's okay, Eddie. None of it's real,
baby. No one's gonna hurt you. You don't have anything to prove."

He whispered this mantra to me over and over as I focused on his words and the
scent of his honey breath that seemed to completely envelop me.

He rocked me gently and a few minutes later, my heart was slowed down to a
normal pace and my breathing was even again. The whispers and laughter were still
there but they were very faint and easy to ignore.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes, "Edward?"

I nodded, "I'm okay Jay…I'm okay…"

He let out a breath and nodded, "Okay, baby…let's get outta here."

I shook my head, "No, Jay. They're going to demolish this house soon. I saw the
notice on the door. This is the only chance I will ever have of going in there and
facing this. Please, Jasper…just come with me."

He groaned and turned to look at the house.

"Edward…you've been doing so good…I'm so worried bout what this is gonna do

to you…"

I cupped his cheek and he turned back to look at me, "I know you're worried, Jay
but I have to do this…for my own sanity, I have to face this…just like you faced the
truth about your parents, Love…I have to face the truth about my past. I'm going
in…just please come with me."

He took a deep breath and sighed, "Okay, Edward but if you start panicking, I'm
- 639 -
dragging your ass back out here and we're leaving."

I nodded, "Okay, Jay. Thanks."

He took my hand in his and we made our way back up to the house.

He looked around for a little bit and said, "We ain't gonna get in this way, we
might have to try round back."

Still holding my hand, he led me around the side of the house. I gasped as I looked
up and saw the small black window facing the old tree. He stopped and followed my
eyes upward to the window.

Together, we both just stood there and stared at it for quite some time.

The laughter was growing louder so I shut my eyes and shook my head to try and
dispel them. I felt Jay squeeze my hand a little and my eyes snapped open to his.

"You okay, babe?"

I nodded, "Yeah…c'mon, let's go."

We kept on going around to the back of the house. I stopped again as I looked at
the gravel driveway and old worn down garage that led to the alley.

Visions of blackened skies and thunderous rain started to cloud my vision and
soon the image of an old maroon rust bucket invaded my mind. I felt the thick mud
underneath my toes as they stuck out from the faded blue pajamas.

So cold…

I shivered as my breath shone into the night sky from the intense cold. The
screams were growing louder as the demon yelled for me to come to him.

"Edward?"

The voice of my angel snapped me back to reality and suddenly I was standing
there with him as the bright sun shone down upon us.

I'm okay…it's all over…it wasn't real…

I nodded at Jay and forced a smile this time, "Yeah, Jay…I'm okay. Please don't
- 640 -
worry."

"There's a door…I think I can get through that," Jasper dropped my hand and
walked up the back porch to the back door that led to the kitchen. There was a small
window next to the door. The door only had a few boards nailed across it and I
watched as he tried to pull them off. I finally took a breath and began helping him
but we couldn't get them off.

He sighed and ran his hand through his golden curls, "Maybe I can go in through
the window and kick it open."

I nodded as he started pushing on the window until it eventually began going up.

"Stay right here, Edward."

I nodded again as I watched him shimmy through the window. Once he was in, he
stuck his head back through the window, "Get off the porch, I'm gonna try and kick
the door open."

I ran down the steps and into the grass. I heard the loud thud as he began kicking
the door. The third kick, the door splintered and broke open.

I ran up the steps and began pulling the pieces away until I could get through. I
gasped when I saw blood seeping from his side through his shirt.

"Jay? You hurt yourself."

He looked down and shrugged, "It's no big deal, Edward."

He pulled his shirt off and wiped away at the cut. It wasn't that deep but it was
long. I sighed, "Shit, Jay, I'm sorry you were hurt…"

He just smiled, "Edward, it's a scratch, really babe, no big deal."

He threw his shirt over his shoulder and I gasped as my eyes took in the sight
before me. The kitchen table was still there. Chairs were lying on the floor. The floor
was littered in trash and dust.

My eyes drifted over the wooden floor until it fell upon the discoloration.

Bleach…

- 641 -
 My mother's lifeless eyes…

The demon screaming at me, "Scrub the floor, Edward! Get it clean! Cleanliness is
next to Godliness and we will have no wickedness in this house!"

I gasped as the smell of bleach assaulted my senses and I felt like I was choking.
Quickly, Jasper pulled me to him and kissed me fiercely…soon, the scent of honey
overpowered the bleach and I was able to kiss him back.

I pulled away panting and whispering my thanks to him.

He just nodded, "No problem, babe."

I looked around and marveled at how much everything had stayed the same. Even
the same paintings were hanging on the walls. The same curtains. Slowly, I crept to
the cupboard and pulled it open.

The same plates and cups adorned the shelves. Shakily I reached up and ran my
fingertips along one of the glasses.

A moment later, the sound of the glass crashing into the ground jarred me and I
gasp as I seek shelter quickly and crouch down underneath the kitchen table. I pull
my knees to my chin and rock back and forth as the screaming echoes in my ears.
My toes are freezing and my body starts to shiver as the cold permeates through me.

I hear the 'slice' of the knife…the flesh tearing open…my mother's terrified
shrieks as the devil's belligerent screams resonate through my whole body…

My eyes are watering…burning as I look out and see the dark crimson blood
flowing from my mother like rivers of satin cascading across the floor. The gleam of
the knife causes my eyes to shut for just a moment but when they open again…all I
see are baby blue eyes looking into mine.

He whispers, "Don't look, Edward. Keep your eyes on mine."

I can see the dark outline of his wings as he turns briefly to bring himself
underneath the table with me.

I whisper, "He'll see you…"

His eyes are glossy but he never falters as he leans forward and whispers, "Don't
be afraid, Edward. Luke 22:43."
- 642 -
 I gasp and whisper, "An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened
him."

He nodded and we just stared into each other's eyes intently.

The screaming begins to fade and the warmth comes back to my body as I take in
deep breaths.

I shake the cloudy visions from my head and stare at my angel, "Jasper."

He lets out a breath and pulls me into a hug. He holds me for awhile and I feel
safe and warm in his arms. Eventually, he pulls away and I smile, "Thank you, Jay."

He smiles back, "Anytime, Eddie."

And then I ask, "How did you know that bible verse?"

His cheeks begin to darken as he grins widely, "Your journal. You said that I could
read it anytime I wanted, so I have a few times when you're asleep and stuff. I hope
you're not mad."

I shake my head, "No, baby, I'm not mad. Thanks for caring enough to want to
take a peek inside my head. That's a pretty scary place to be."

He brushes his fingertips along my cheek and whispers, "I think it's really fuckin
beautiful, Edward."

I smile and relish in the warm, callused tips of his fingers.

I glance up and sigh as I bring my hand up and glide my fingers along the bottom
of the table above me, "If I would've had your kitchen table, Jay…I would've had
hundreds of angels above me that night."

His fingers cover mine as he gently clenches my hand and pulls it to his lips, "I'm
here now, Edward. I'm the only angel you need."

I smile at the truth in his words.

"C'mon, darlin…let's get off the floor."

I nod and we both scramble from underneath the table.

- 643 -
 "You ready to leave yet, Edward?"

I shake my head as I begin slowly walking down the short hallway into the living
area. Now Jasper gasps as he takes in the surrounding, "Fuck, Edward…this
is…crazy…"

I nod as I stare at all of the crosses hanging on the walls. Pictures of Jesus'
crucifixion…the Last Supper…various bible verses and hundreds of crosses adorned
the walls and tables. Some things were missing or broken on the floor but a lot of it
was still there.

Jasper walked over to a broken picture on the floor and crouched down. I knew
which picture it was by the audible gulp and the way his eyes fixated on the image.

I spoke softly, "My parents grew up in church together. They started dating when
they were seventeen. That's a picture of them at their prom."

His wide eyes looked up at me and I knew what he was thinking, "Jasper…I know
my father and I look identical. It's…scary, huh?"

My heart was racing…

Please don't be afraid of me, Jay…

He dropped the picture and stood in front of me, placing his strong hands on my
shoulders, "Edward…you are not your father."

I sighed, "No…I am my father's son. Psalms 106:37...They sacrificed their sons

and their daughters to demons."

He furrowed his brows, "You don't believe that, do you? You know all of this stuff
is in your head, Edward. It's not real."

I nodded, "I know, Jay."

That's easy to say when you're not the one who sees and smells and hears them
speaking to you…

My eyes fell to the end table. An old dusty Bible lay there. It was my mother's.
Carefully, I picked it up and ran my fingertips over the embossed lettering.

I sighed as I opened it up and the pages fell open to Matthew 12. I whispered
- 644 -
verses 43 and 44...

"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest
and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left…"

The shadow streaked by me again and I closed my eyes.

The chill took me over as goose bumps began to rise all over my skin. I heard the
whispering as if it were standing right behind me.

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring
lion looking for someone to devour."

I shuddered and whispered back to the devil at my ear, "1st Peter, Chapter 5,
Verse 8."

I could feel the streaks of cold air whip by me as they danced around laughing as
my eyes began to tear.

I heard my mother's gargled screams, "Run, Edward!"

I looked down at my freezing toes that stuck through the feet of those dirty blue
pajamas then back to the kitchen.

The red satin ribbons covered her body as her eyes bore into mine. Her screams
were louder this time, "Run, Edward! Hide!"

So, I obeyed my mother.

I took off for the staircase that led to my room upstairs…my refuge.

The stairs creaked and moaned underneath my icy feet. My doorway was to the
right of the staircase…if only I could make it.

The demon was chasing me but I ran faster. A moment later, I slammed my door
shut and quickly locked it. I ran to my nightstand and pulled out the long piece of
rusted metal, jamming it into the frame of the door to keep the demon out.

Then the door began to pound and vibrate. He was trying his best to get in.

I threw my hands over my ears so that I wouldn't hear his pleas to let him in. I
crawled onto my bed and huddled in the corner. I kept saying to myself over and
- 645 -
over again…

"Daniel 4:13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before
me was a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven…please, God…send me
an angel…please protect me…"

A few minutes later, the banging on the door ceased…but I knew this wasn't over
yet so I was much too frightened to open the door and leave my room.

I continued my pleas to God as I rocked back and forth…

"Daniel 4:13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before
me was a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven…please, God…send me
an angel…please protect me…"

And then…I heard scratching at the window…but I wasn't afraid.

I pulled my hands away from ears and ever so slowly crept over to the window. I
watched in amazement as the paint was being frantically scratched away.

A streak of sunlight broke through and I gasped at the warmth that now shone
across my face.

More and more light continued to break through as the paint was peeled away.

Then I saw him.

He was perched upon a branch outside my window.

Golden curls blew lightly in the breeze…sky blue eyes stared into mine…he turned
for a moment and saw the dark outline of wings against his tan back.

My angel…God sent me an angel…

He turned back and pressed his palm to the window and I studied his calloused
fingertips carefully and saw the black paint embedded underneath his fingernails.

Slowly, my hand rose and pressed against his through the glass. The warmth that
radiated from it was heavenly.

He smiled a beautiful dimpled grin and the corner of my mouth turned up in a

crooked smile. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
- 646 -
 Then I heard the banging at the door again. My head turned and I gasped and
began to stumble backwards as the demon stood now in my room, hovering above
me.

I quickly flashed my eyes to my angel who was now beating against the glass, his
lips moving but I couldn't hear anything but the demon screaming.

"Edward Anthony Masen! When I tell you to come…you come! Disrespecting your
father is pure wickedness! You are an evil, wicked child!"

I just shook my head as my strangled sobs prevented me from speaking and I

continued backing up.

The shattering glass from the window caught my attention as I looked over and
saw my angel, struggling to break all the glass away and crawl through.

The shards of glass shimmered in the sunlight.

The demon looked down at the glimmering pieces of glass and his face twisted
into a sadistic smile…

If you want me gone, Edward…you know what to do…

I was shaking as I crawled on my hands and knees to the broken shards. I didn't
want this but I had to release him…I had no other choice.

I picked up a large piece of glass and closed my eyes as it hovered above my wrist.

"Edward, stop!"

My eyes flashed open and there stood my angel. He kneeled down before me and
slid his rough fingers over mine, taking the glass from me and setting it down beside
us.

He whispered, "Matthew 4:11."

I looked around and saw that my room was bear…no demons in sight…no
whispers…no screams…only the smell of pure sticky honey encompassed me.

I smiled and whispered, "Then the devil left him, and angels came to take care of
him."

- 647 -
 He nodded, "He's gone, baby…he will never come back again. Exodus 23:20."

I ran my fingertips down his cheek and whispered, "See, I am sending an angel
ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have
prepared."

Again, he nodded, "The place I have prepared for you, Edward…is right by my
side. You and me…we're gonna walk out of this house, side by side, and leave the
demons behind."

My beautiful angel saved me…my angel Jasper…Jasper…Jay…

I threw my arms around his neck and he pulled me close. I whispered as I cried
against his shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Jay…I did it again…I'm so sorry…"

He held me tight and kissed below my ear, "It's okay, baby…it's all over now. Are
you okay?"

I nodded and pulled away, "I am now. I'm really okay this time. Thanks, Jay."

He smiled, "Can we get outta here now?"

I nodded, "Yeah…let's go."

We stood up and I walked over to the window and looked out. Turns out my view
would've been of the brick building beside me so I guess I wasn't missing much.

I walked over to my nightstand and opened the drawer. I couldn't believe that my
Bible and Winnie the Pooh were still there. I smiled as I pulled out Winnie the Pooh
and shut the drawer back.

He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged, "Maybe our kids will like it someday."

He broke out into a beautiful dimpled grin, "I thought you didn't want kids."

I smiled back, "I don't want biological children but…families aren't made of flesh
and blood. Who knows what will happen in the future."

He held out his hand and I took it.

We pulled out the metal in the door and opened it up. As we got ready to walk
down the stairs, I remembered something.
- 648 -
 "Wait a second, Jay."

I turned and ran into the bedroom to the left of the stairs. He came I behind me
and spoke, "What, Edward?"

I walked to the dresser and rummaged around a bit before finding what I was
looking for.

The picture was dusty and damaged but I smiled as I looked at it.

He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Is that you and
your mama?"

I nodded, "Yeah…I was only a year old. I don't know who took it…but I remember
my mom used to look at it all the time. She was really beautiful, huh?"

He nodded and kissed my cheek, "Yeah, she was, Edward. I think you look a lot
like her."

I smiled because I knew he was lying…I was the spitting image of my father…but
the gesture was thoughtful anyway.

I tucked the picture inside of the book and we made our way down the stairs. We
left through the front door this time…although it took a minute to tear the boards
away.

And we walked out, hand in hand…side by side.

As we got in the car, he chewed on his lip for a moment.

"What is it, Jasper?"

He sighed, "I was thinking about something but I don't know if I should or not."

I furrowed my brows, "What is it, Jay?"

He looked out the window, "I was thinkin bout visiting my mama. Indiana is on the
way…but I don't know."

I sighed and began running circles along the palm of his hand, "Jasper…I would
give anything to speak to my mother again. Your mother is finally tied down to one
spot and can't run away from you. If it were me…I'd say go and make her finally
- 649 -
listen. Make her answer your questions. Get some peace, baby."

He nodded, "Yeah…I guess it's not like she can run from me or anything this time.
Okay, thanks, Eddie."

I nodded, "Sure, Jay…um…by the way, would you mind if we took some flowers to
my mother's grave, It's not very far from here."

He smiled, "Not at all, darlin."

He leaned over and kissed me softly as he whispered, "Love you, Eddie."

I whispered back, "Love you too, Jay."

- 650 -
 Chapter 32

For those of you not reading "Southern Charm" by Meikela…go read it! It's
an all human story with Dr. Edward and Jasper the Cop. Yum.

And to those who like vampy stories, you have to check out "Change" by
Nestaron. The boys are both vamps and it begins shortly after Jazz leaves
Maria and Edward is going through his rebellious period. The story line on
this one is fantastic!

One more rec, "Said and Done," by ICMezzo. This one, Eddie is an adorably
clueless vamp and Jasper is just a regular college boy who drunk dials the
object of his affection and has incidents with going to the bathroom while
trying to talk on the phone…really, this story makes me crack right the hell
up.

Songs: Heaven Sent by Keisha Cole (Chopped and Screwed) on my youtube

Jasper's POV

As we pulled off down the street, I didn't bother glancing back at Edward's
childhood home. I was relieved to be leaving there, once and for all and thankful
that the fucker was being demolished soon.

I gripped the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were turning white. It was
the only way I could control my hands, that were still shaking from everything that
had happened.

They ached and I'm pretty sure I was bleeding underneath my fingernails. My
fingers were throbbing and burning, along with my side and shoulders, which I had
scraped up pretty bad on the glass from the window.

But I tried my best not to let Edward in on the fact that I was hurting something
awful right now and I was thankful that dusk was starting to set so that he couldn't
see as well.

He didn't need any more stress on him and I didn't want him to harbor any guilt,
which I knew he would.

We drove for just a little while, when I knew I needed to stop cuz I was about to

- 651 -
lose it. My body ached and my mind was still all over the place.

I almost lost him…

I could feel my eyes beginning to burn but quickly cut off the emotions before
those damn tears spilled over.

I pulled into the first gas station I saw and stopped at the pump, "Why don'tcha go
in and fill up the tank, Eddie…I gotta go to the bathroom."

He nodded, "Sure, Jay."

He looked at me for a moment and I knew he was studying me. I smiled, "Would'ja
grab me a Coke too, darlin?"

He smiled back and let whatever he was thinking about go, "Yeah, baby. Be back
in a minute."

We jumped out and I went into the bathroom as he went into the gas station.

Luckily, it was a one person restroom so I was able to lock the door behind me.

I walked over to the sink and turned on the cold water. I held my hands
underneath it and hissed as they burned. I was right, I was bleeding from
underneath my fingernails and that shit hurt like a son of a bitch.

Everything weighed heavily on me as anger and fear bubbled inside me until I

cradled my face into my hands and screamed to try and let it out. When that didn't
work, I hit the wall until the pain brought me to my knees.

Now my left hand was bleeding as well but I knew that nothing was broken. I was
rocking back and forth on my knees, trying to calm myself down as I sucked in deep
breaths of air and clutched my hand tightly to my stomach.

I looked on my left side and noticed blood seeping through my shirt. It had dried
partially and I groaned as I pulled the shirt off and it pulled at the cut and dried
blood. I stood, shakily and feeling weak as I made my way back to the sink.

My eyes caught my image in the mirror and my breathing hitched as a thin line of
blood began running down my chest from my shoulder.

I got my shirt wet underneath the faucet and began wiping at the blood until it
- 652 -
was gone and then I held it firmly on my shoulder to try and stop the bleeding. My
body was aching and my head was pounding.

My mind began to wander as I closed my eyes and tried to take my mind off the
pain…

I have never believed in God…or the Devil…but seeing that look of absolute terror
in my beautiful boy's eyes and watching him back up along that wooden floor while
looking completely haunted…I suddenly began questioning my own sanity as I
briefly wondered if there really was something there that I didn't see…

I had never been more thankful for my dad than I had been at that moment…

My dad taught me two things in life…how to fight and how to prepare for war.

The moment Edward had mentioned visiting his childhood home, I began
preparing because I just knew…I knew that we were stepping into Hell and I was
gonna have to go toe to toe with the Devil.

I began searching through his journal, trying to find information that would be
helpful if my baby boy should start to lose the battle and I would have to step in…

I read about a dream he had where I had been with him that night, only I was an
angel…

I memorized those Bible verses, repeating them to myself over and over again
until I knew them by heart so I would be prepared to be the angel he needed…

I figured that all of these dreams and hallucinations he had, always involved him
believing and praying for an angel to come and save him…I knew that this might be
my only shot of doing just that and laying these fuckin demons to rest once and for
all…

When he took off upstairs and locked himself in his room…I went fuckin crazy and
started banging on the door, tryin my best to get in there…

But then I pulled myself back and tried to remain calm…I figured I was probably
scaring the shit out of him so I pressed my ear to the door and heard him whispering
through shaky sobs, that same verse about the angel coming down from Heaven
from his dream…I heard him praying for an angel to come and rescue him…

I knew that was my one chance…

- 653 -
 So I bolted outside and around to the tree by his window. I had my shirt still
tucked into the back of my jeans as I started climbing. The tree was old and I
thought it might break right underneath me but there was no way I wasn't gonna
make it up there to him…even if I really did have to spout wings and fuckin fly…

When I got to the window, I wanted to just break the glass and jump through…but
I didn't know if he was near it and I remembered what his angel had done in his
dream…so I began peeling and scratching the paint off with my fingernails.

It hurt so bad as the black paint became embedded underneath them…dried and
old and not coming off easily but the thought of my boy in there, scared and alone…I
kept on past the pain…

And once enough of the paint was peeled away…I saw those beautiful green eyes
staring into mine…

I pressed my palm to the glass and I was so releived and happy when he pressed
his back to mine.

That beautiful crooked grin graced his face…but suddenly he jumped as his eyes
turned towards the door.

My heart was beating through my chest as I watched his eyes grow wide and all
the color drain from him…he was now terrified.

He stumbled backwards and fell onto the floor as he looked up into the air…he
was crawling backwards, trying to get away from the images he saw…

I panicked…

I hit the window as the glass went flying. I almost lost my balance as the glass
shattered everywhere and instinctively grabbed onto the windowsill, leaving more
glass embedded into my palm this time. Then I remembered that I had my t-shirt so I
wrapped my hand in it and began knocking all the glass away from the sides so I
could get in. The window was pretty small and I knew I was gonna cut myself
climbing in so I tried to get as much of it out as I could…

But then I saw Edward crawling over to the glass on his floor.

My heart stopped when he picked up a large piece, shaking his head back and
forth as he sobbed…he held it above his wrist and all thoughts of pain left me as I
just pulled myself through…it hurt like hell as I felt the glass digging into me but I
- 654 -
was about to lose him…

Ain't no fuckin way I could ever let that happen…

I had done some searching on the Web for Bible verses that might be useful to me
about casting out the devil and all that shit…just in case…

Well, Edward thought I was his angel right now so it was time for me to send that
fuckin demon all the way back down to Hell and rescue my beautiful boy from the
nightmare he had been living in for ten fuckin years…

I took the glass from his fingers and whispered, "Matthew 4:11."

He smiled and whispered, "Then the devil left him, and angels came to take care
of him."

And I could see in his eyes that the demon was gone…I only hoped that it was for
good this time.

A knock on the door made me jump and pull me from my thoughts…

I started to say something when I heard his voice call out on the other side, "Jay?
It's Edward. Please let me in. Are you okay?"

I cleared my throat and struggled to keep my voice calm, "I'm okay, babe. I'll be
out in a minute."

I heard him sigh and softly say, "Please, Jay. Please let me in."

I hung my head and groaned cuz he knew I couldn't say no to him.

I walked over and pulled the latch back, then opened the door.

His breathing hitched when he saw me. He came in quickly and shut and locked
the door behind him.

"Jay…shit, you're hurt."

I shook my head and smiled, "It's nothing, darlin…ya know I'm a soldier."

His eyes started to water as he pursed his lips. He gently took my arm and guided
me back to the sink, "You're bleeding all over…"
- 655 -
 He grabbed my shirt and wetted it again before softly wiping at the cuts on my
side. I hissed as he cleaned the dried blood away.

His hands were shaking and he was trying hard not to cry.

I grabbed his hands and whispered, "I'm okay, Edward…"

He shook his head and then the dam just broke as he screamed out crying, "You
could've been killed! You could've fallen from that tree! You could've cut an artery
on that window!"

He threw himself back against the wall and hung his head down as he pinched the
bridge of his nose. He shook his head and now whispered through sobs, "I could've
lost you forever…"

And in that moment, I knew exactly how he felt.

So I did the only thing I could to make us both feel better.

I grabbed his face and kissed him with everything I had. He responded quickly as
his lips parted for mine and our tongues became quickly entangled. The kiss was
raw and fierce as we attempted to swallow each other whole.

His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me roughly against him. And I was
overcome with desperation as my hands left his beautiful face and quickly cupped
his ass as I pulled him up.

He complied easily and wrapped his legs around my waist as I eased him onto the
bathroom counter, never losing the forceful passion of the kiss.

My jeans were growing tighter by the second as I pushed myself against him. His
back arched as he broke from the kiss with a low moan and threw his head back
against the wall.

I could feel him harden now as his legs tightened around my waist and he met my
wild thrusts with his own.

We were both panting as I pushed my hands into the back of his jeans and
squeezed his ass so tight I thought briefly that I might leave a bruise…but his eyes
rolled back as his head fell against the wall and he groaned a soft, "Oh fuck, Jay…"

I raised my eyes just as his hooded eyes locked on mine. I watched them flitter to
- 656 -
my shoulder and then I noticed a thin line of blood starting to trail down my chest
again.

For a moment, I was afraid he was gonna try and stop me so we could take care of
it…what I was not expecting was for him to lean forward and flick out his tongue
right above my nipple and begin dragging it upwards to claim the blood on his
tongue.

My body shivered cuz that was all kinds of fuckin hot…

He knew what he was doing to me because once he reached my shoulder, he

moaned a soft, "Mmm…" as he ran his tongue across his bottom lip, leaving a
smudge of blood across it. Then he smirked and whispered, "You're delicious,
Jasper. If I were a vampire…I would drain you dry…"

His hands quickly popped open the button on my jeans and pulled the zipper down
as he leaned into my neck and whispered, "…I still might…"

I fuckin whimpered as he licked and sucked and softly bit the juncture of my neck
and shoulder…

Kinky Edward is fuckin awesome…

And right as his hand slid into my jeans and grasped my cock, cuz I was going
commando…there was a knock at the door.

It was then that I remembered we were in a nasty ass gas station bathroom.

Edward looked annoyed and growled, "In a fucking minute!"

I couldn't help but laugh at how mad he was and soon he was laughing too as we
readjusted ourselves and kissed one last time before opening the door and leaving. I
smiled as I noticed Edward turn bright red as we passed the man who was waiting
while he stared at us suspiciously, no doubt since we came out together and were
obviously flushed.

I loved how Edward could go from being aggressive and powerful with me…to
being shy and awkward with everyone else. That side of Eddie was for me and me
only…

He hopped in the driver's seat, "I'll drive, Jay. There was a hotel a little ways
back…let's get a room for the night so I can tend to your cuts. We can go visit the
- 657 -
cemetery tomorrow."

I nodded and laid back in the seat, exhausted from the day, "Okay, Eddie. It
should only take us a couple hours to get to Indianapolis for me to see mama.
Visiting hours are over at five…I just hope she put me on the visitor's list so I can
get in."

He pulled out of the gas station and sighed, "I hope so too, Jay. I know that I won't
be on it though so you'll have to face her on your own. Are you okay with that,
baby?"

I shrugged as I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, "Guess we'll find out."

He drove into a drug store parking lot and left the car running as he ran in to get
some stuff to clean my cuts and take care of me. Secretly, I loved it when Eddie
went all caretaker on me…it was something I never really had before him. I didn't
mind being hurt if he was there to take care of me.

It wasn't too much longer until we were in a room and Eddie was dragging me to
the bathroom.

I didn't object as he started undressing me…in fact, I couldn't help but smirk down
at him as he pulled my jeans off and my hard cock was standing proudly just inches
from his plump cherry lips.

He smirked back up at me, "You like me taking care of you, huh?"

I just bit my lip so that he could see the stud from my tongue and slowly nodded.

His breathing hitched as he looked down, pulled off my socks and muttered, "Jesus
Christ…"

Much to my dismay, he stood back up once I was naked and turned on the shower.
He was slightly flushed and tenting his own jeans as he smiled shyly, "Um…let's get
you cleaned up so I can dress those cuts."

I loved shy Eddie…but I wanted naughty Eddie to come out and play.

So, I turned and stepped into the shower but stopped and looked over my shoulder
at him. His eyes quickly lifted from their gaze on my ass and he blushed. I smirked
as I ran the steel stud across my bottom lip and knew that he could see my tattoo
now. I stroked my hard shaft softly as my hooded eyes locked on his, "Ya ever fuck
- 658 -
an angel?"

I watched as his eyes grew darker and the blush faded from his cheeks. He
swallowed once and I groaned at the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing.

He pulled his shirt over his head and graced me with that crooked grin as he
purred, "Not yet…"

He pushed his jeans and boxers down over his thick rigid cock and grabbed the
lube from the bathroom counter.

His smirk was that deviant little grin that caused the hair on the back of my neck
to stand and my cock to start throbbing in anticipation.

He walked up behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist, sliding his
fingers over mine as we worked them slowly up and down my shaft. He whispered in
my ear as goose bumps broke out all over me, "I'm going to fuck you up against the
shower wall. Would you like that, Jay? Would you like me to fuck you, angel?"

I shuddered cuz that was exactly what I wanted right now. I wanted to see strong,
powerful, assertive, aggressive Edward. I needed him to be that way after what
happened today and I was pretty sure he did too.

I nodded as I swallowed hard.

He laughed softly in my ear as he gently pushed me up against the wall. I let go of

my dick and put both hands against the cold tile. He whispered against my neck as
he nipped and sucked, "Say it, Jay. Tell me."

Edward did things to me that I would have never imagined possible. I fuckin
whimpered as my heart beat out of my chest and I breathed out, "Fuck me, Edward.
Please, baby…fuck me."

His satin fingers glided along my hip as the hot water sprayed down over us. I
held my head down and closed my eyes.

I heard the top of the lube pop open and I couldn't help the grin that came to my
face. I felt his finger rub my entrance lightly before slowly pressing in. The grin was
quickly replaced by a low moan as my back arched and his fingers kneaded my ass
softly.

He continued stretching me for awhile until I was pressing back into his fingers
- 659 -
for more. They quickly pulled out and I soon felt the head of his cock pressing into
me. It still hurt a little but I was getting much more used to it now and knew that the
reward was definitely worth a little pain.

He moved slowly, easing himself into me until I felt his thighs against mine. He
stayed still for a moment and ran his fingers lovingly over my 'wings' as he
whispered, "Tell me if I hurt you, angel…I want to make you feel only good things,
baby…"

It didn't take long until I was pushing back into him, ready for him to fuck me into
oblivion and erase all the bad shit that happened today.

He started off slow, making sure that I was okay as his hips rocked gently against
my ass. But soon, his fingers were clenching my hips as the feel of his wet, hard
cock pounding into my magic spot over and over again had me screaming out shit
that would even normally make me blush…

"Oh fuck yeah, Eddie…harder, baby…fuck my ass, sugar…your big cock feels so
fuckin good in my tight little ass…you like that…you like fuckin me baby?!"

He was growling now behind me as our slick, wet skin made slapping noises as we
connected roughly over and over again, "Ugh…I love fucking your tight ass,
Jay…feels so fucking good…you're mine, Jay…all mine…no one will ever fucking
touch you but me…who do you belong to, angel?!"

Fuck…I love possessive Edward…

Edward was fuckin me right and proper so I leaned my forehead against the wall
on my arm as my other hand slipped down to my own big dick and began stroking
myself as hard and fast as he was fuckin me.

I closed my eyes and moaned against my arm at the grunts and groans…the feel of
his hard wet body slamming into mine…the hot water streaming down over us…,
"You, Edward…I'm all fuckin yours, darlin…oh fuck…Eddie…make me cum, pretty
boy…"

My body was burnin and achin for release and I knew it was comin soon as my
stomach begin to clench and I became dizzy and drunk with pure, unfiltered ecstasy.

I felt his fingers slide into my wet curls and pull my head back as he nipped on my
earlobe, "Look at me, Jasper."

- 660 -
 I turned my head as he caught my lips between his teeth and tongue. I groaned
loudly as he attacked my mouth, all wild and shit.

I let go of my cock and drew my hand back into his hair, pulling him even closer to
me as our bodies slapped and slid together.

His hand slid around to my stomach and held me close and tight against him while
the other hand fluttered along my bobbing cock and began stroking me softly, in
stark contrast to the good hard fuck he was giving me.

And I thought I was good at fuckin…I had nothin on Edward fuckin Cullen…

I moaned into his mouth as the conflicting sensations had my mind and body on a
fuckin pleasure overload. I started shaking as the burning in my abdomen grew into
a full out inferno.

I was certain at this point that if he hadn't been holding onto me so tightly, my
knees would've completely given out on me.

I was so fuckin close that I couldn't even kiss anymore…I couldn't focus on
anything but what he was doing to my body.

I broke from the kiss and laid my head back on his shoulder as my eyes closed and
my back arched. I felt his hot breath on my neck and he nuzzled his nose to push the
wet curls away from my ear as he whispered, "Holy shit…looks like the pretty boy
has some skills."

Then he laughed that little cocky laugh and I smiled as I panted out, "Cocky
fucker…"

He nipped at my ear and whispered, "I'm about to make Jasper Whitlock come
completely undone by fucking his pretty little ass with my big thick cock and
stroking his long rigid dick with barely a touch from my fingers…a guy like me can
afford to be a little cocky, Jay."

And with that, I squeezed my eyes shut and exploded in his hand and the all over
the wall, "Ugh…fuck…Ed…Ed…Edward, fuck…"

His grip tightened around my waist and I felt his shallow breaths against my neck
as he moaned, "Ugh...fuck…Jay…Ugh…"

And I felt him spasm and cum deep inside of me.

- 661 -
 He held onto me for a few minutes after that so we could come down together.
When he finally softened and slipped out of me, I turned in his arms and pulled him
flush with me as I kissed him deeply, murmuring how much I loved him and would
always love him. He returned the affection to me and so we just stood there under
the water, kissing and loving one another.

Eventually we got out of the shower and he led me to the bedroom. We didn't
bother with putting any clothes on as he grabbed the stuff he got from the drug
store and started cleaning and bandaging my cuts and scrapes.

I had a long gash on my leg and I shuddered as he was kneeling in front of me,
blowing softly on the cut to take away some of the sting after cleaning it.

My cock twitched and he just chuckled as he continued blowing.

I smiled down at him and wondered aloud, "Hey Eddie?"

"Hmm?"

I leaned back on my hands and watched him work, "Have you ever thought about
being a doctor like Carlisle? You're real good at this shit. Ya kinda remind me of
your daddy."

He smiled up at me but it didn't reach his eyes, "Well, I have thought about it but I
don't think it's a possibility for me. I don't think that I could handle the blood…or the
surgery…or…losing someone. I don't think I'm…mentally capable of handling it."

I reached out and ran my fingers through his damp bronze locks, "I don't know,
Eddie…I think you'd be a great doctor. So, have you ever thought about what you
want to do when we graduate?"

Now his smile was brilliant as he looked up at me, "Marry you."

My heart fluttered…that's right, it fuckin fluttered cuz my beautiful boy had been
thinkin bout us being married too.

I couldn't help the wide dimpled grin that came to my face, "Yeah?"

He laughed, "Of course you have to ask me first."

I nodded, "I will, baby. You can count on it."

- 662 -
 He stood up and leaned over me until he was hovering above me. His pretty green
eyes melted into mine as he smiled and began nipping at my jaw line, "I can't
wait…I'm sure it will be incredible, I mean, afterall…you're pretty good at this
romantic shit."

I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him down on top of me, "You're
catchin up, Eddie."

We fooled around a little more until we had both passed out in a tangled mess of
sweaty limbs and body parts.

But I couldn't escape the reality of what had happened today in my dreams that
night…

I watched as my baby boy scooted along the floor, terrified as he looked wide eyed
at the demon who hovered over him.

I began beating the window, trying my best to break through and rescue him…but
it wouldn't shatter.

I was crying and screaming for him as I saw him reach for an old rusty razor blade
on the floor.

I was gonna lose him forever…

I begged and pleaded for him to stop but he couldn't hear me.

I felt the sharp pain in my wrists as he dragged the blade across his…the blood
quickly running down his arms and hands.

I looked to mine and they were cut open as well, dripping blood down my arms.

My eyes burned from the tears and my body ached. I held my palm to the window
and watched as his beautiful face turned to mine.

He crawled on slit wrists to the window, leaving trails of blood behind him.

Then he reached up and pressed his bloody palm against mine through the glass
before he collapsed on the floor.

The window shattered now as I drug myself through. I picked up his lifeless body
in my arms…his beautiful green eyes were still open but completely vacant now.
- 663 -
 Then I heard the laughter.

Suddenly I was surrounded by demons…faceless shadows that whispered and

taunted me.

The taunts were viscious as they reminded me of how I treated mama so badly
from the very beginning, before she even ever did anything to me…they reminded
me of how Sarah and her friends humiliated me and how I couldn't even fuck right
until I was taught…they reminded me that I wasn't good enough for Edward and
never would be…they told me I should be thankful that he was gone because I was
even too scared to make love to him…I would never be good enough for him…

I felt him move in my arms and I looked down to see his eyes were brilliant as he
smiled that crooked little grin and whispered, "I'm okay, Jay…see, I'm not crazy…"

I pulled him into me and hugged him fiercely as I thanked God for giving him back
to me...I swore that I would be better…be good enough…I would try harder…

The demons were howling in laughter as I held him tight and told him how much I
loved him and that I'd never let anything bad happen to him again.

When I pulled away to kiss his cherry lips…he was lifeless once again.

This happened over and over again…I would see him, happy and beautiful…then
lifeless and…gone…as the demons kept up with their hateful ridicule…

The laughter echoed in my ears, making my head ache and my ears ring…

Edward was gone and I was going crazy…

I woke with a gasp as I frantically grabbed onto Edward's shoulder's as he looked

down at me, "Jay? Are you okay, baby, it was just a nightmare."

I nodded as I tried to calm my breathing down. He pushed the damp curls from my
forehead and whispered, "It was about me."

He didn't ask it as a question so I figured he knew.

I nodded again as I looked into his eyes…eternally grateful that they were looking
back at me.

He sighed, "I'm so sorry, Jay. I hate that I'm hurting you."

- 664 -
 I reached up and brushed back his bronze locks and whispered, "You have nothing
to be sorry for, Edward. It was just a nightmare…no big deal."

He sighed again as he pulled away and sat up, pulling his fingers through his hair,
"Jasper…you were dreaming about demons…you thought you were going crazy…you
were frantic."

Shit, why the fuck do I gotta talk in my sleep?

I sat up next to him and pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around
them and leaning my face on my knees to look at him, "Edward…it's not your
fault…"

His face turned and looked into mine as he whispered, "You're afraid to make love
to me."

Again, it wasn't a question.

I let out a big breath as I put my head down and truly felt like a coward. I
whispered, "Yeah."

"Why?"

Images of Sarah and her friend's raced through my mind.

I squeezed my eyes shut and just let it all out, "Because…I've never made love to
someone, Edward…it took me a long time to get any good at fuckin…I'm…fuck…I'm
afraid I'm not gonna be any good at it…I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt you…"

He took a deep breath and whispered, "Jay, look at me."

I didn't wanna face him…I felt stupid and vulnerable…but as I turned my head and
looked into his pretty green eyes…I felt better.

"Jasper, what did Sarah do to you?"

I furrowed my brows cuz he already knew this, "She taught me how to fuck…"

He took another breath and spoke quietly, "Jasper…if she had done to me what
she did to you…what would you do?"

Just the thought of that evil bitch coming anywhere near Edward made my fuckin
- 665 -
blood boil, "I'd fuckin kill her!"

He raised an eyebrow and I groaned.

Fuck…

I lowered my head back down to my knees and whispered, "She molested me."

I felt his arms wrap around me and I looked up into his eyes, "How could I be so
stupid, Edward?"

He shook his head, "You're not stupid, Jay…you were twelve. It started when you
were eleven. She manipulated you…the same thing had probably been done to her.
It doesn't make you stupid or weak but you've got to understand that those things
she told you were not true. You had never given a blowjob before the first time and
trust me, babe…you were fucking incredible."

Now I snickered as his crooked grin lit up the dark room, "Well, I had gotten blow
jobs before so I had an advantage."

He smirked, "How am I in bed? Am I any good at making love? Fucking?"

Now images of all the times we had been together raced through my mind and my
cock twitched at the memories.

I felt my dimples as I grinned, "You're fuckin incredible, Edward."

He whispered, "I've made love to you, Jay…so you still have an advantage. You
know what you're doing and you love me…the rest is easy. Do you remember the
first time we…um…well, we dry humped and came together?"

I followed his lead as he laid back down and pulled me with him, "Yeah."

He started playing with my curls as he sighed sleepily, "Remember I was getting a

little…uh…anxious…but you slowed me down…said you wanted to do it right. We
spent hours just…loving on each other. You can't honestly believe that you won't be
any good."

I smiled against his chest as he yawned, "Yeah, I remember. Get back to sleep,
baby. I'm good now."

His voice was rough and sleepy as he whispered, "S'okay, babe…we can talk if you
- 666 -
want."

I was quiet and waited for about 30 seconds until I heard his soft snores. I laid
there awhile trying to sleep but I was just too wired. I was anxious about seein my
mama…thinkin too much about what had happened today…pissed and feelin stupid
about what I let Sarah do to me…and…fuck, I really wanted to make love to Edward.

After about a half hour, I pulled myself from the bed and pulled on a pair of
pajama pants before walking out on the balcony to smoke a cigarette. The brisk
night time air felt good as I sat and lit up.

I needed to just fuckin chill and not think of any of this shit right now or I was
gonna drive myself crazy.

I went in and grabbed my Ipod from my bag. A few minutes later, I was sitting in a
patio chair with my feet propped up on the railing, smoking a cigarette and listening
to some chopped and screwed 'baby makin music', as my Cuz used to call it.

I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered when he first got me listenin to this
shit…

He was in his kitchen, fryin us up some bacon. His back was turned and he was
dancing and singin to a chopped and screwed version of Heaven Sent.

I started laughin my ass off and he just smirked over his shoulder, "Laugh all ya
want, ya lil' cocky fucker…you ain't man enough yet to appreciate this shit."

I rolled my eyes as I hit the blunt, "Man enough? I don't listen to chick music,
dude."

He came over and snatched the blunt from me, "If ya ain't never learned nothin
from your old cuz, Jay…learn this…a real man appreciates a lil' romance and ain't
nothin wrong it."

Now I was laughin again.

He handed me the blunt back and sat down, "Are you in love with that chick back
in Washington?"

The laughter stopped immediately as my fuckin chest ached, "Um…yeah, but…it's

over."

- 667 -
 He sat there a minute before he sighed, "It ain't really over, cuz. Us
Whitlock's…when we fall…we fall hard and that shit don't stop for us. Look at me
and Casi…we've broken up like twenty times these last few years but we always end
up back together. Look at your daddy…he ain't never moved on from your mama.
Now I'm gonna play this song again and I want ya to listen to the words. Ain't
nobody here but you and me, cuz…ya ain't gotta put on an act around me."

He got up and started the song over…I did listen to the words…and I kinda fell in
love with that shit…yeah, I was a romantic fucker, so what…

When it was over I sighed as I thought of Edward, "I liked it, Cuz…it was
kinda…pretty and shit."

He laughed as he sat down two plates filled with bacon, eggs, and biscuits,
"Yup…oh and another good thing…this shit will get ya laid fast as lightening!"

I just shook my head and laughed as I started eatin, "You're a silly fucker, Cuz."

He laughed, "Yeah…I'm all romantical and shit."

So, now I was sittin out here listenin to it again. I closed my eyes and flicked my
cigarette out. I laid my head back on the chair and before long, I was singin the
words softly into the midnight sky…

"I wanna be the one who you believe, in your heart is sent from heaven…There's a
piece of me who leaves when you're gone, because you're sent from heaven…"

I was just kinda lost to the music and the cool breeze, when I felt my pretty boy
climb on top of me and straddle my lap.

I smiled without even opening my eyes. His arms wrapped around my neck and he
laid his head on my shoulder.

I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my nose into his hair, "What'cha doin
up, sugar?"

He sighed, "I was lonely."

I just held onto him for a minute when I felt him pull one of my ear buds out. I
opened my eyes as he put it in his ear. He raised an eyebrow and I just shrugged, "I
listened to it a lot when I thought we were…over."

- 668 -
 He didn't say anything, he just nodded slightly and laid his head back down on my
shoulder.

I felt him smile against my skin as he whispered, "I like it…it's kind of pretty. Will
you keep singing for me?"

"Sure thing, darlin."

I held him and sang softly in his ear. His fingers played with the curls at the nape
of my neck as I ran mine up and down his strong back, along his spine.

I felt him shiver so I whispered, "Ya cold, baby?"

He shook his head, "No, love…I'm very warm."

I felt his soft lips pucker and brush along my neck and shoulder. Now I broke out
in goosebumps as he started kissing and sucking the sensitive spot at the crook of
my neck.

I couldn't help the soft moan that escaped my lips as I tilted my head to give him
better access.

I could feel him starting to harden through his pajama pants as he began rocking
his hips back and forth against me.

My fingers dug into the soft flesh on his hips as my dick started twitching from the
beautiful boy on top of me.

His teeth nipped at the sensitive skin on my neck and quickly lavished it with his
silky tongue. My hips slowly started moving with his from underneath.

He moaned against my skin and I was losing all control.

My fingers ran along his spine until they locked into his soft bronze locks and
dragged his lips up to mine.

My baby boy tasted so good and I relished his mouth with my lips and tongue.

We were both rock hard as the kiss just seemed to get deeper and
deeper…tongues and teeth and lips…moans and grunts and soft breaths…hands
pulling hair and clenching shoulders…

- 669 -
 I wanted Edward…I wanted him now…fuck that…I needed him now…

I was done being afraid…I was done letting my past make me insecure…I was
done being a fuckin pussy.

I was Jasper fuckin Whitlock and I ain't scared of shit.

I broke from the kiss with a gasp for air as he did the same.

I looked up into his pretty green eyes and my breathing hitched at the way he
looked right now…the stars and moonlight dancing behind him…his swollen cherry
lips parted and his cheeks pink and flushed as he breathed heavy…he was fuckin
beautiful.

I whispered, "Edward, I want…I need to…fuck it, can I have you, Edward?"

A small moan flittered from his lips as his cheeks darkened even more and he
grinned that crooked grin, "I'm all yours, baby. You don't have to ask, you can do
whatever you want with me, Jay."

I smiled as I remembered him saying those words to me once before…but this

time, I was just gonna keep my mouth shut and be fuckin grateful.

Thank you, Cuz…I'm gonna get laid…no…I'm gonna make love to my beautiful
boy…

I whispered, "I love you, Edward."

He whispered back with a cocky little smirk, "I love you, Jasper. Now take me to
bed."

My heart was racing like crazy but I chuckled as I wrapped my arms tight around
him and cupped his ass, lifting him up as I stood.

He gasped as his legs tightened around my waist, "Jesus, Jay…how the hell can
you pick me up? I'm a big boy, ya know."

I let him down to his feet but kept his body pulled flush with mine. I gave him that
cocky smirk right back as I reached down and rubbed him through his pants, "I
know you're a big boy, Eddie…"

Then I grabbed his hand and reached down to have him rub my dick through my
- 670 -
pants, "…but I'm a little bigger, darlin."

He smirked, "Cocky fucker."

I started walking him backwards to the bed as I leaned to his ear and whispered,
"You know you love it."

He smiled against my neck, "I really do."

As the back of his knees hit the bed, I began lying him down slowly and thought to
myself…

You got one shot at this, Jay…you better turn this boy out…

Okay, so evil of me, I know but the chapter was getting way too long.
Besides, I thought I'd give some power to the people (I'm all political and
shit), so you guys let me know whose POV you want Eddie's cherry poppin to
be in…

- 671 -
 Chapter 33

Well, Jay's POV won out…besides, Eddie's first time was in his POV so I
figured it'd only be fair that this be in JPOV.

Special thanks to all my chicks that do the Writing Challenges with me,
they're a big help :)

Muse-Undisclosed Desires, Muse-Supermassive Black Hole,

Lifehouse-Everything, The Black Keys-Your Touch

Jasper's POV

As the back of his knees hit the bed, I began lying him down slowly. My mind was
racing with thoughts and worries about all the possible scenarios that could take
place.

Everything could be perfect and we could end up having one of the most
incredible nights of our lives…or….something bad could happen and we could both
be completely scarred from this.

Edward couldn't always control the things that went on in his mind so it was up to
me to help him get through this...that meant that I was gonna have to push all my
own worries and doubts outta my head. I couldn't bear the thought of me scaring
him or doing something stupid and fuckin this up. This had to be perfect…and you
could bet your fuckin ass that I was gonna make sure it was beyond perfect.

I held him tight as he scooted back on the bed and I followed hovering so close
that his sweet breath was leaving goose bumps all over my skin.

His bright green eyes were wide and anxious but most importantly…trusting.

Edward was trusting me with all of him…mind, body, and soul. He was giving
himself to me completely, in every way, and I knew that I would never betray his
trust.

I was gonna go slow…just like the first time we ever really loved on each other.
We spent hours just kissing and moving our bodies against one another…it was a
long, slow ride to the brink of ecstasy…and tonight was gonna be a long fuckin
night.

- 672 -
 I just laid there for a moment, gazing down at my beautiful boy while running my
fingers through his soft bronze hair. He looked a little…anxious, as his red lips
parted and his pink tongue brushed across his bottom lip. His breathing was already
coming out in shallow breaths and I was worried that maybe I was pushing him.

I smiled, making sure that he saw my dimples cuz I knew he loved them, "Eddie,
you know I love you, right?"

He now smiled back as his eyes lit up, "I know you do, Jay. I love you too."

I continued running my fingers through his hair as I whispered, "And you know I
would never be mad at you if ya ain't ready for this yet…you know we can wait,
right?"

He sighed as his velvet fingertips glided so softly along my spine that I shuddered,
"I know we can wait, Jay…but I don't want to. I want you. I'm a little nervous but
there's no doubt in my mind…that it's going to be incredible. If you could…just…"

His cheeks turned red and he looked down. I gently pulled his chin back so that he
could face me and whispered, "Tell me what you want, Edward."

His long fingers covered mine as he took a deep breath and whispered, "I just
don't want to do it from…um…from behind. Not yet, anyway."

I smiled softly as I brought his hand to my lips and kissed the palm. Then I began
kissing each fingertip as he sighed contentedly, "Do you really think that I could
stand to make love to you and not look in your eyes?"

The tension seemed to just melt away from him as he smiled, "Jay?"

I continued gingerly kissing his satin fingertips, "Hmm?"

He gently pulled his hand away and it joined his other one as he caressed my
cheeks and whispered, "Come here."

His fingers guided my lips back to his as those plump red lips brushed across
mine. Soft, sweet kisses soon turned into deep, passionate ones as we clung to one
another, drinking the other in.

Our bodies were tangled as legs draped over hips and arms wrapped around
backs…fingers were tangled in hair and squeezing various body parts…soft moans
and deep grunts were mingled with breathless whispers of love and lust.
- 673 -
 We kissed forever as our bodies molded into one another. Eventually, I pulled
away from the breath taking kiss and tried to slow my breathing down. I gave him
one more chaste kiss before moving over to his ear, sliding my tongue along the
shell and nipping my way down to his jaw.

I whispered, "It's gonna be a long night, Eddie. Think you can stay awake?"

He laughed softly as he craned his neck a bit for me to get better access to it, "I'll
stay awake, Jay…I promise."

I slid my body along his, relishing in the feel of his strong chest against mine, his
hardened nipples brushing along my sensitive skin…every sensation heightened by
the pure anticipation and desire of wanting my beautiful boy so badly.

I lifted my head and looked down at him through hooded, needful eyes as I
whispered, "Good…cuz I plan on makin you cum for me over and over and
over…again and again and again…"

His lips puckered as his eyes rolled back with a soft moan. I smiled and couldn't
help but raise my hand and brush my finger across his pretty cherry bottom lip, "You
like that thought, Eddie?"

His half lidded emerald eyes opened as he squirmed underneath me a bit, a faint
blush dancing across his cheeks as he whispered, "Yes." He tender lips brushed
across my fingertip as his tongue flicked across the calloused skin.

His hands lifted and pulled mine to his lips as he began kissing and tasting each
one of my rough fingertips…my body quivered from the simple touch of affection
and as he whispered, his warm shallow breaths caused goose bumps to rise along
my flesh again, "I have always loved these fingertips, Jay. One simple touch from
these perfect, spell binding fingers could immediately calm me down. We were
playing basketball the first time I felt them. We had only just begun talking and you
were trying to teach me how to do a lay up, remember?"

I could only nod as my lips parted slightly and my breathing became strained with
each soft kiss or flick of his tongue across my fingertips.

He smiled and whispered, "I tried to do it like you showed me but I tripped and
fell flat on my face. I could feel my whole body burning in embarrassment…waiting
for you to make fun of me. But instead, I felt your hand on my shoulder as you knelt
down beside me and asked if I was okay. And then, you held out your hand to help
me up. I was hesitant at first because I was so unsure of myself…but the moment
- 674 -
your calloused fingers gripped onto mine…all of the doubt and insecurity just sort
of…melted away."

Now I smiled at the memory and brought my free hand up to brush my fingers
across his cheek as I whispered, "I remember. We had just moved in that day and I
had gotten into it with mama's boyfriend. I was lettin off steam when I saw you. You
were trying to be sneaky as you looked over at me…but I could see those deep green
eyes all the way from across the street. The very first thing I thought, was that
green was my favorite color. I had never been so…interested in wantin to get to
know somebody…but one look at you and I just…wanted to know you. When I pulled
you up off the ground, Edward, and I felt your satin skin against mine…everything
bad that happened that day just sort of…melted away."

He whispered, "Do you believe in Fate, Jay?"

I smiled and whispered, "I'm startin to. What about you?"

His cheeks began to darken again with that beautiful blush as he smiled, "I believe
that there is something out there…something greater than us that guides us to
where we should be."

I ran my fingers down his jaw and whispered, "Do you believe in God, Edward?"

He smiled that beautiful crooked smile as he brushed his fingers through my

curls, "How could I possibly look at you, Jasper…my angel…and not believe in
Heaven?"

My heart was beating so loudly that I swore he could hear it…instead he trailed
his fingers down my palm, my arm, and onto my chest where he laid them over my
heart.

"I love the way that my simple words can make your heart race, Jay."

I smiled, "You're the only person that's ever made it beat like that, Eddie."

He continued brushing his satin fingertips along my chest and down the center of
my stomach until he reached the top of my sleep pants, where he lazily played with
the waist band.

His gentle touches left a trail of fire in their path, causing my body to shudder and
my skin to, once again, break out in goose bumps.

- 675 -
 He smirked at the way he played my body, loving the reaction he could so easily
get from me, "I love that I can make your whole body shudder with only a simple
touch."

My eyes quickly became hooded and needful again as I gazed down at those forest
green ones and breathlessly whispered, "You make my body do things I never even
dreamed of, Edward."

Now, his fingers dug underneath the waist band and gripped my firm cock. I
moaned and began rolling my hips to get more of his silky touch on my scorching
skin. His fingers wrapped even tighter around me and started pulling the soft skin
around my rigid cock up and down with a soft twist of his wrist.

He whispered, "I love the way that your cock throbs and aches for my touch…my
tongue…my body. Satin over steel…just like you. The most beautiful thing about
you, Jay…is that you are tough and strong and rugged…but also sweet and tender
and loving. The body of a soldier with the heart of a hopeless romantic."

He ran his thumb across the slick tip and my eyes closed as another moan fell
from my lips. I was really starting to get worked up so I noticed my southern slur
was coming out thick as I whispered, "Shit, pretty boy…keep sayin them pretty
words and you're gonna make me cum 'fore we ever get started."

He chuckled and wrapped his free arm around my neck, pulling himself up to my
ear. He pulled the lobe softly between his lips and tongue as he whispered, "Don't
worry, cowboy…pretty words from a pretty boy's lips bring only the promise of pure,
mind numbing ecstasy as I plan on making you cum for me until well after the sun
rises…over and over and over…again and again and again…"

A soft breeze blew in from the still opened patio doors and I was thankful for the
brisk wind cuz my body was heating up fast.

My cock was pulsing and my heart was pounding. Hardly an inch of space
between our bodies as his velvet fingers were quickly bringing me to the edge. His
arm was still wrapped around my neck and my hands were pressed against the
mattress as I hovered above him, slowly rocking my hips to help him pump my cock.

He pulled away from my neck and brought his lips to mine in a searing kiss. His
lips and tongue molded with mine, so closely that you hardly knew where one of us
ended and the other began.

He pulled away with a gasp for air but I quickly connected us once again, unable
- 676 -
to control the need to taste his lips and mouth on mine.

He smiled and whispered breathlessly into the kiss, "Can't…breathe…"

I whispered back with a soft grunt, "Tough shit…breathe through me."

He moaned and continued kissing me back with a newly found fervor. From the
taste of his tongue, the breathless moans and whimpers, and the feel of his hand
wrapped around my cock…I wasn't gonna last much longer.

I moaned into his mouth, "Gonna…cum…"

His hand quickly pulled away, leaving my cock throbbing painfully and missing the
warmth of his hand.

His lips pulled away from me too and I fuckin whimpered at the sudden loss
of…him.

He put his finger to my lips to stop me from cussin at him for stopping and
whispered, "Cum inside me."

Hell fuckin yeah I'm gonna cum inside you…

I quickly pulled away with a grunt and yanked my pants down, throwing them off
the bed. Then I grabbed his by the waist and drug them down his legs, dropping
them to the floor with mine.

I reached over and grabbed the lube, tossing it on the bed before pressing my
body to his and attacking his lips again. He moaned into the kiss as his arms and
legs wrapped around me, pushing our hard cocks together as I urgently moved my
hips along his for the friction.

Motherfuck, Jay…slow the fuck down…

Thankful that my mind was workin for me, I pulled away with a gasp and grabbed
his arms, unwrapping them as I rolled over onto my back.

We were both panting breathlessly as he rasped out, "Why did…you stop?"

I pulled my hands through my curls as I willed my heart to slow down and my cock
to settle the fuck down. I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as I turned and
looked into his pretty green eyes that were staring at me, all confused and needy
- 677 -
and shit.

I let out a breath and couldn't help but start laughing. He smiled now as I pulled
at my curls again, "Jesus, Eddie…you make me fuckin crazy…you know that?"

That beautiful familiar blush came to his cheeks too as he started laughing along
with me.

He laid on his side and propped himself up on his elbow as his laughter slowly
died down. Then he began plucking at the threads on the blanket as he looked down
and sighed, "Um…hey, Jay?"

I now mimicked his position and turned to face him. I ducked my head down so
that I could see his face and smiled, "Yeah, baby?"

He smiled again as his cheeks became even redder, "Um…do you

think…um…never mind."

He turned his head away again and now I was getting a little concerned. I scooted
closer and wrapped my arm around his waist, pulling his body flush with mine. We
both let out small moans at the feeling of our hard cocks being pushed together
again.

But I pulled my attention from my dick and whispered, "Look at me, Edward."

His jade eyes snapped to mine and I whispered again, "What is it?"

He took a breath and chewed on his lip for a moment before speaking quietly, "Do
you think that it will always be so…intense with us. I mean, we're always going to be
this way, right? It's not like this because we're young or it's new…we'll always feel
this way about each other, right?"

And those were questions that I wish I could answer with one hundred percent
conviction cuz I had thought of the same things a few times.

So I just answered honestly, "I don't know the future, Edward…but I think…I think
we just gotta have faith, y'know? The way I feel about you…it's intense and it's scary
but I know without a doubt in my heart that it's real. I think when two people
connect like you and me have…when their souls are, like, bonded and shit…ain't no
other way for it to feel but intense and passionate and crazy. I don't see that ever
changing between us, Eddie. Romeo and Juliet…ain't got shit on us."

- 678 -
 He smiled now as he whispered, "So, you feel it too? The crazy, maddening pull
that we have towards one another."

I nuzzled my nose to his as the feeling of his body against mine so tightly was
starting to drive me a little wild again, "Yeah, baby…I feel it."

He brushed his soft lips against mine and whispered, "You know what I think is
the most amazing thing about us?"

I smiled as I brushed my lips across his and murmured, "Everything."

He laughed softly and I chuckled too before asking, "What do you think the most
amazing thing about us is, Edward?"

His hand slid down between us and pulled my cock a little before letting it go and
watching it bounce against my stomach. His crooked grin was in full force as he
laughed softly, "I think it's amazing that we can lie here and talk for half an hour
and our dicks are still rock hard."

Now I started laughing at my silly boy as he kept playing with my dick. I finally
rolled over on top of him and he wrapped his arms around my neck. I smiled down
as he looked up at me with a sparkle in his pretty green eyes.

I sighed as I shook my head, "Edward Anthony Cullen…what am I gonna do with

you?"

He looked at me for a moment before whispering, "Just love me, Jay."

I leaned down and kissed his soft cherry lips and whispered, "I can do that,
Eddie."

This time, my mind and body were working together as I tried to keep the pace
slowed down a bit. The kiss was soft and sweet…to begin with anyway.

Our bodies rubbed slowly against each other as our lips and tongues slow danced.
The room was warm and sticky from the heat it had held since the sun first shined
that morning. We left the A/C off and just kept the patio doors open to let some of
the brisk, night time air flow in. We were up several floors so there was nothing but
the blackened sky and twinkly stars looking in.

I'm not sure if it was the warm room or just the fire that we created when we were
together…but soon our bodies were heated and covered in a slick sheen of sweat. I
- 679 -
felt my curls becoming sticky and damp as they fell over my face and tickled his
cheeks as we kissed.

Aching to feel more of my beautiful boy, I gently pulled away from his lips and
moved them to his neck…licking and sucking his sweet, slightly salty skin. His back
arched and he moaned softly as his fingers clenched my back before slowly
exploring every inch of skin he could reach.

I trailed soft, wet kisses along his neck and shoulder…slowly descending down his
chest until I reached his nipples and took them into my mouth, sucking gently and
flicking my tongue ring across them.

His fingers worked their way up until they were locked in my damp curls. He was
writhing beneath me already and moving his hips up so that his cock was gently
sliding up and down my stomach with each motion.

He moaned as I swirled that barbell around his hardened nipples, "Oh God that
feels so good, Jay…"

I smiled around it and continued my slow, deliberate torture.

Moving slowly further down his body, I licked his slick skin along his stomach
before sliding over to his hip bones. He groaned and his fingers tightened in my hair
as I softly bit and licked them.

His cock was sliding against my collarbone now and the need to take him in my
mouth was driving me insane.

I worked my way down until the pretty pink head of his cock brushed across my
lips. I put both hands on his hips and held him still for me as I ran my tongue ring
along the weeping slit. I hummed at the taste of my beautiful boy.

His chest was heaving as I swirled it around the ridge now before wrapping my
lips around it and sucking gently.

He let out a long soft moan as his head moved from side to side since he couldn't
move his body.

Very slowly, I swallowed my way down, running that stud along the throbbing vein
until I wet met with damp, bronze curls that tickled my nose.

He was gripping my hands on his hips as his helpless pleas of,

- 680 -
"More…please…faster…Oh God…can't take it…going to
explode…please…please…please…Jay…fuck…please…", went unanswered cuz I
wasn't giving in and sucking him off hard tonight…nope, I was gonna do this my
way.

I was gonna go slow and soft and do this right.

His head was now thrashing at my leisurely, sensual assault on his cock and his
toes were diggin into the mattress.

I knew he was getting close now so I released his cock from my mouth and trailed
soft kisses and licks down it until I reached his balls.

I began gently licking and sucking them while his fingers now clenched the sheet
underneath him. He was still letting out a string of pleas, "No! I was so close…oh
God that feels good…what the fuck are you doing to me…oh Jay…oh God,
Jay…please, baby…please…"

So, once again, I trailed down further until I flicked his tight hole with my tongue
ring before swirling it around. I licked his entrance softly at first but then my fingers
tightened on his hips to keep him steady as I started fucking him with my tongue.

Now his hands were clenched in his own hair as he thrashed from side to side and
he growled out a string of profanities, "Mother fuck! God damn it, Jay! Oh fuck yeah,
baby! Please…oh God fuck please, Jay!"

This went on for…awhile. He reached down and tried to stroke his own cock but I
smacked his hand away. He would wait until I was ready for him to cum.

Finally, I was slick and sticky from sweat, my mouth and tongue aching with the
sweetest pain…I was ready to finally give him his release.

I raised up quickly and buried his cock in my throat, swallowing as his fingers dug
into my curls and held my head there while he screamed out, "Oh fuck yes! Yes,
fuck! Oh…oh…I'm…I'm…J…Ja…Jas…Jas…Jasper fuck!"

And his cum hit the back of my throat like an erupting volcano and I was very
satisfied as I drank him down, cuz even though my dick was hurtin like a son of a
bitch…I was pretty sure that Edward just had one the most intense orgasms of his
life…and the night was just beginning.

His body collapsed to the bed with heavy breaths, "Wow…you're the…shit, Jay."
- 681 -
 I chuckled as I crawled up the bed to him. Worried that he might fall asleep, I
quickly pulled him up so that he straddled my lap as I sat back on my knees.

He gasped from the sudden change in position and instantly threw his arms
around my neck. The sudden gasp allowed me the opportunity to plunge my tongue
into his mouth and ravish it again.

He moaned into the kiss as his grip on me tightened and our slick bodies moved as
one… an erratic, lustful sway as we just couldn't seem to get close enough to one
another.

His fingers crept up my spine and twisted in my damp curls, tugging hard and
pulling my head back as he broke from my lips and began attacking my neck.

My fingers clenched his pretty ass and urged him to move his body against me.
My dick was past the point of painful now…I had been hard for over an hour with no
release and it was making me a little crazy.

I was sure that I would leave the imprint of my hands on his ass as I gripped it
tight and I knew that I needed to cum right fuckin now.

And I couldn't help myself from bringing my fingers to his hair and pushing his
head down with a raspy, breathless groan, "Suck my fuckin dick, Edward."

He let out his own throaty moan as he dropped down to all fours and took me into
his hot wet mouth with a fuckin vengeance.

My head drooped back as I leaned back on one hand and fisted his sweaty bronze
locks in the other. I pushed gently but still had enough coherency not to gag my
beautiful boy, so I made sure he could pull up if he needed to.

But he was taking it like a fuckin champ.

He was rocking back and forth on his knees and I brought my eyes to his perfect,
porcelain backside. His skin was creamy and pale with a few auburn freckles
dancing across his shoulders and back. His ass was a nice deep rosy pink from my
assault earlier and I could definitely see the red outlines of my fingers against his
fair skin.

His tongue was pushing against the underside of my cock as his cheeks hollowed
and he sucked me deeply into the back of his throat.

- 682 -
 My body was already feeling things it had never felt before. This was way better
than any fuckin high I ever had. My chest was heaving and every touch to my
sensitive skin had me seeing stars.

I hissed when I felt him tug at my balls, shots of fire and electricity surged
through me as my whole body just felt like it contracted . My eyes rolled back and
my mouth hung open as I groaned, "Fuck yeah, Eddie…"

My hips bucked one more time before I was spilling everything I had down his
eager little throat. My head fell back with a loud moan. Edward swallowed me down
and when I finally lifted my eyes and looked down at him, I was fuckin lightheaded
as he wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand and growled, "Fuck yeah…"
before coming up to his knees and plunging his tongue down my throat.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his body to mine, loving that I could
feel his hard cock throbbing against my thigh as I tasted myself on his tongue. He
pushed me down on my back and started rubbing himself against me erratically.

I could feel myself quickly becoming hard again as I flipped him over on his back
and took control. He gasped and I moved my mouth to his neck and throat, licking
and biting and sucking.

Then I felt something roll against my leg and I glanced down to see the lube.

HOLY SHIT! SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, JAY! YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCK YOUR BOY
SENSELESS!!!

I pulled away, gasping for air as I rolled off of him and onto my back. He leaned
over on his side as he rasped out, "What? Why'd you stop?"

I groaned and rubbed my hands along my face, "I'm fuckin this all up, Edward. I
don't wanna fuck you…I wanna make love but…you just keep makin me all fuckin
crazy…I'm just…I can't fuckin do this."

I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and gently tug my hand away from my face. I
couldn't bring myself to look in his pretty green eyes cuz I just felt fuckin ashamed
that I had no control.

"Look at me, Jay."

Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes up to his. They were so fuckin pretty and he was so
fuckin sweet and good…I didn't deserve him…I couldn't even make love to him right
- 683 -
without turning it into something dirty…cuz that's what I was, dirty and used.

He brought his hand up to my forehead and brushed back the damp, sweaty curls
before putting his arm behind my back and pulling me to my side to face him. He
smiled softly and whispered, "Jasper, making love doesn't have to be some
stereotypical candlelight and slow music bullshit that you find in chick movies.
Making love is simply the act of being with the one you love. Love should be
passionate and filled with so much desire that you lose all control. I wouldn't want
love if it wasn't that way. You can do this and you are going to be the most
incredible lover on the face of this earth because I can feel your passion and desire
for me with each kiss…with every touch of your fingers…pressing against my leg."

He smirked now as he glanced down and saw my hard cock pressing against his
thigh. I couldn't help but laugh a little and wondered how he was able to pull me
from the brink so easily.

Both of his arms now wrapped around me as he rolled onto his back, pulling me
on top of him. He then brought his hands to my face and whispered, "Now…make
love to me, Jay. Please."

I was feeling a little overwhelmed looking down into those deep forest green eyes
filled with so much love and trust that it made my head spin. He trusted me…he
believed in me…he loved me…

I can do this…I can do this…Oh God please don't let me fuck this up…

I brushed my finger down his cheek as my heart beat so hard that I could've swore
that he could feel it. I whispered, "I love you, Edward."

He smiled softly and whispered, "I love you too, Jasper."

I took a deep breath and let it out. He laughed softly, "Relax, Jay. It's just you and
me, baby. Here, let me help."

He reached over and grabbed the lube bringing it to my hand. He took my hand in
his and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss before flipping open the top. He poured a
little on my fingers and rubbed them, spreading it around. Then he wiped his hand
on the sheet and I laughed.

I was still nervous but he would help me through…just like I was gonna help him
through. And at the end of this…maybe we will have done something really fuckin
beautiful.
- 684 -
 I moved slowly to the side as I took his lips to mine, placing soft sweet butterfly
kisses while staring into those beautiful hooded eyes. I guided my fingers down until
they were between his legs.

I whispered against his lips, "Open up a little, baby."

His leg lifted up as he turned to his side slightly and hitched it up over mine. His
chest was heaving now and I saw his Adam's apple move as he gulped.

So, I began trailing soft gentle kisses against his chin…along his jaw…down to his
neck and throat. Very lightly I brushed my tongue along his skin, between my parted
lips as I continued the soft gentle kisses.

He moaned softly as his head tilted. I began brushing my finger along his entrance
gently, circling and teasing.

Then I lifted my head and whispered, "Look at me."

His eyes opened and stared into mine as I tenderly pushed my fingertip inside of
him. His mouth opened with a small gasp as I started working my finger very slowly
in and out of him. His skin was so hot pressed against me and surrounding my finger
that I couldn't help but shiver at the thought of how it would feel when I was inside
of him.

I whispered, "You okay, baby?"

He nodded a breathless, "Yeah."

After a few minutes, I brought another finger to his entrance and whispered, "Are
you ready, darlin?"

His hands clenched into the curls at the nape of my neck as he whispered, "I'm
ready."

Slowly, I pressed the second finger in, working them both together as I very
carefully began stretching him.

His leg tightened around the back of my thigh and his eyes squeezed shut.

"Open your eyes, baby. Keep 'em on me."

His eyes flashed open and he sucked in a sharp breath before nodding.
- 685 -
 I whispered, "Are you okay, Edward?"

He nodded again and smiled softly, "I'm okay, Jay."

I took my time and continued with the two fingers until he was breathing better
and starting to move a little against them.

I brought the third finger to his entrance now and whispered, "We can stop
anytime you wanna stop, Eddie. All ya gotta do is tell me to. Okay?"

He nodded but his eyes were wide as they glanced briefly past me before locking
back on mine again.

I took a deep breath and whispered, "What do you see, baby?"

He let out a breath and spoke quietly, "I…I…um…"

I whispered, "Edward…I want you to tell me everything you see or hear or feel or
even smell…you gotta tell me, baby, or I can't help you."

His fingers tightened in my curls as he looked almost pained, "I don't want to tell
you because I don't want you to stop."

I smiled softly at him, "I'll only stop if you tell me too. We can work through
everything else, okay?"

This seemed to ease his mind a little as he let out another breath and smiled
softly, "Okay. I, um…I saw a shadow, kind of, whipping by…but it only lasted a
second."

I nodded and whispered, "Try to keep your eyes on mine, darlin."

He nodded and I continued fingering his entrance gently.

After a few minutes, I whispered, "Do you think you're ready for more?"

I teased my third finger softly against his hole and he nodded, "Yeah, Jay. I'm
ready."

I smiled, "I love you."

He smiled back, "I love you too."

- 686 -
 Carefully, I eased the third finger in and he squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in
a deep breath.

"Eyes on me, Eddie," I rasped out as my breathing was starting to get a little
heavy by the feeling of him around my fingers and the intensity of how I felt about
him willingly just giving himself to me.

He opened his eyes and they were wide as his breathing hitched. I whispered,
"Are you okay?"

He let out a breath and in shaky breaths answered, "It feels okay…I…um…I'm
starting to hear…whispers…very soft but I can hear them."

I nodded, "If I keep talking while we do this, do ya think that'll help?"

He nodded and tightened his arms around my neck, "Yes, please talk to me. I need
to hear your voice. I need to smell your honey breath and feel it against my neck.
Ramble if you have to…just please talk to me."

I pulled him closer and gazed into his pretty green eyes. Then I just began
rambling as I whispered, "When I was a little boy, I used to daydream a lot. I guess
I've always been a hopeless romantic cuz I used to daydream of growin up one day
and fallin in love. I'd dream of pretty green eyes cuz they were my favorite color and
reminded me of the forest by my granny's house. I loved playin in that forest,
surrounded by a canvas of rich greens. It was my refuge. Then when mama took me
away, we drove all over the place but this one time, we drove through Kentucky in
the fall. I was taken by the changing leaves. The gold and orange and bronze and
auburn colors. The deep colors all dancing together reminded me of my version of
the Sistine Chapel I had painted underneath my kitchen table. I fell in love with
autumn, it became my favorite time of year. When I saw you, the first thing I noticed
was your eyes…they were prettier than any lush forest I had ever seen. The second
thing I noticed was your hair. It was the deepest auburn with splashes of bronze…it
reminded me of autumn. I think I might have loved you from the first moment I saw
you."

He moaned softly as his eyes rolled back and his head lulled, "Oh Jay…oh God…"

I whispered, "Eyes on me, Eddie."

He quickly raised them back to mine although they were no longer wide or
anxious, now they were hooded and needful.

- 687 -
 I continued gently moving my fingers in and out of him, slowly stretching him for
me as he now started carefully moving with them.

I kissed his lips gently and continued rambling, "The first time I thought I might
be fallin in love with you was when we were fourteen. It was the night of your piano
recital. I remember standing off to the side of the stage and watching you play. I had
never seen nothing more beautiful than you when you were lost in your music. But it
wasn't just about the way your eyes closed and the way you swayed to the music…it
was the small smile that played on your lips. Your real smiles…they were reserved
for me and that was the first time I saw one that was completely for you and you
alone. I was mesmerized by the way your fingers moved over the keys so easily and
enchanted by the melody that poured out of you. That night…I dreamt of your
fingers playing along my skin as easily as you played that piano. After that dream, I
couldn't get the thoughts and images outta my mind."

He was moving against my fingers now and moaning softly. I watched as his hand
trailed down my side and to his hard cock. He wrapped his fingers around it and
started pumping slowly to match my fingers.

I curled my fingers a bit and he let out a long low moan, "Oh yeah, Jay…just like
that, baby…"

I smiled, "Ah…I found your magic spot."

He smiled back through breathless moans and whimpers, "Yeah…don't stop…"

I keep rubbing his magic spot with my fingers as he slowly jerks himself off…and I
whisper, "Wasn't planning on stopping, babe."

He starts shaking slightly in my arms as his head falls to my shoulder and he

whimpers, "I'm…I'm going to…oh God, Jay…"

And I feel his warm sticky wetness shooting onto our stomachs. I'm so hard that
it's starting to hurt again.

He pants for a minute before reaching over and grabbing the sheet to clean us up.
And I'm wanting him now…but I gotta make sure he's okay first.

I whisper as he stares into my eyes, shoulders still trembling slightly from his
orgasm, "What do you see, Edward?"

His gaze is intense through half lidded eyes and under long onyx lashes as he
- 688 -
whispers, "Blue eyes that could rival the sky…golden curls that would make even the
sun envious…all I see is you, Jay."

I slowly remove my fingers and lay him back as I pull myself above him. I brush
my tongue along my bottom and whisper, "What do you hear?"

He smiles at me with that beautiful crooked grin, "I hear your breaths becoming
more and more shallow…I hear your southern drawl becoming deeper and deeper…I
hear the sound our bodies make as they slide over one another…all I hear is you."

I reach over and grab the lube, flip the top open and pour a little in my hand
before I start stroking myself softly and his entrance to get us ready.

I whisper with a smile of my own, "What do you smell?"

He laughs softly and whispers, "I smell the scent of sex…musky and sweaty
mingled with the honey of your breath…all I smell is you and it's mouthwatering."

I lean back over him with one hand by his head and the other wrapped around my
cock. I position it at his entrance and just rub it gently as I whisper, "What do you
feel, Edward?"

His breathing hitches and his arms wrap around my neck, "I feel the heat of our
bodies from being so close…I feel the warmth of your breath washing over me…I
feel the intensity and the passion of every touch from your fingertips…I feel you,
Jasper."

I take a deep breath and whisper, "You ready to feel all of me, Eddie?"

He nods with a breathless, "I'm ready, Jay."

I whisper, "I love you."

He whispers back, "I love you too."

One more deep breath and I begin slowly pushing the head of my cock inside of
him. I squeeze my eyes shut for just a second as I gasp at the tight heat that now
surrounds me.

His breath hitches as his back arches slightly and his eyes roll back. I stay still for
a moment before whispering, "You okay, babe?"

- 689 -
 He pants out, "Yeah…I'm okay, baby."

Very slowly, to the point of agony, I begin rocking my hips…a little in…a little
out…

Now I'm clenching the sheet between my fingers as both hands are now by his
face and I'm struggling to go so slow cuz, seriously…there had been nothing in my
entire life better than being inside of Edward Cullen.

Both of our chests are heaving as it seems to take an eternity to get myself all the
way inside. Once I feel his ass against my thighs, I moan softly as my eyes squeeze
shut again, "Oh my God…feels…so…so…good, baby…"

My body is trembling and I'm fighting to just stay coherent cuz I'm fuckin gone
right now…stuck in some fuckin wonderful misty haze of bliss and ecstasy.

And then I feel satin fingertips brush the sweaty curls from my forehead and I
hear the soft breathless whisper, "Jay? Are you okay, baby?"

My eyes snap open to see his hooded ones focused on mine. I'm still struggling as
I answer, "Yeah…I should be…askin…you that, Eddie. You okay?"

He nods slightly and whispers, "I'm okay, Jay…" before his fingers wrap
themselves in my curls and pulls my lips to his.

I let out the breath I was holding as he kissed me deep and passionate and fuckin
incredible. His fingers wrapped in my curls as he started rocking his hips gently,
letting me know that I could move.

I laid down on my elbows as I wrapped my fingers in soft bronze locks. His legs
wrapped around me with his feet locked together above my ass.

I pulled out slowly about half way before pushing gently back in. My eyes rolled
back as I broke from the kiss with a long moan. I laid my forehead on his shoulder
with my eyes squeezed shut cuz this was even better than any of my fantasies.

To say that I was feeling a little overwhelmed would be a huge fuckin

understatement.

Our bodies were pressed against each other so tightly that there was no air
between us. I could feel his cock on my stomach, hardening once again as I
continued moving in and out of him. He was moaning softly as his fingers would
- 690 -
clench my curls or grip my shoulders.

Once I finally got myself under a little control, so that I wouldn't cum just from
fuckin lookin at him, I lifted my head again and looked at his face.

His head was pushed back into the mattress and his eyes were shut. His mouth
was open as his breathless moans empowered me. He looked like he was enjoying
this.

So I had to ask through ragged breaths, "Does it…feel good?"

His eyes snapped open as a breathtaking crooked grin came to his cherry lips,
"I've never…felt anything…better than…this. You're fucking…incredible, Jay."

Hells fuckin yeah…

That gave me the little confidence boost that I needed as I couldn't help but smile,
"Yeah?"

He moaned and pulled my lips back down to his, "Fuck yeah."

Now, I was feelin all cocky and shit so things started to heat up…

The feeling of his hands all over me, his hard body beneath mine, and the tight
heat surrounding me made my whole body feel like it was about to combust. This
was how it was supposed to feel…

I lifted up and slid one hand down his glistening body to his thigh, gently lifting
his calf up onto my shoulder while his other leg stayed wrapped around me. I pulled
all the way out and slid back in a little harder this time.

This let me get a little deeper cuz Lord knows, I just couldn't get deep enough
when it came to my beautiful boy.

He moaned loudly, "Oh holy fuckin hell! Just like that, baby…fuck!"

And I decided that Edward was right…making love didn't have to be all slow and
shit…it just had to be about love.

And fuck did I love this boy…

My fingers gripped his hips as I started moving in and out of a little faster and a
- 691 -
little harder. I moaned, "You like that, baby?"

He groaned as his hand came down and wrapped around his hard cock, "Oh God
yes, Jay! So fucking good…don't stop…don't stop…"

He was pumping his cock now to match my thrusts. My head lulled back at the
image of my cock buried deep inside my boy's ass while I he jerked himself off. The
sound of our bodies slapping together and the feel of our sticky, sweaty skin sliding
against each other was bringing me close fast.

I brought my head back and stared down at my beautiful boy, his mouth was
hanging open and his eyes were squeezed shut as I felt him get even tighter around
me before spilling onto his stomach with a grunt, "Oh fuck…how the hell…do I
have…anything left?!"

And that's all it took until my orgasm came rushing through like a fuckin tidal
wave. Two more deep pushes into Edward's tight ass and I was groaning as my
whole body clenched and I came hard as hell, "Motherfuckin…ain't fuckin…done
with…you yet…Edward, fuck!"

We were both panting as our chests heaved in and out. After I came, I still didn't
get all the way soft so I just continued gently moving in and out of him as he
moaned. The sight of his sexy stomach all covered in his cum was just too much for
me and I felt myself becoming hard again.

There are two fuckin great things about being 16...stamina and recovery time.

I rasped out, "Are you okay?"

He nodded with a deviant smirk on his face, "Yeah, I'm good…want to go again?"

It's like he read my fuckin mind.

I smile and leaned down over him, pressing my body to his and getting us even
stickier from Eddie's man juice.

I take his lips to mine and don't hold nothing back as I shove my tongue down his
throat, which he takes very happily and does the same thing to me.

I wrap my arms around his back and his arms are around my neck so I hold on
tight and sit back on my calves, bringing him up with me.

- 692 -
 He gasps as he now sits on my lap, and more importantly, my dick.

He looks down at me and blushes, "You want me to…um…ride you?"

I smile and move my knees forward just a little until his back is against the wall,
"Not yet…I was thinkin bout takin ya up against this wall right here. That okay with
you?"

He moans as my hands go to his ass to hold him as I start using the leverage from
being on my knees to slowly move in and out of him, "Yeah…fuck yeah, Jay."

I smile as I start pushing into him deeper and harder, "Fuck yeah, Eddie."

His arms are wrapped tight around my shoulders as I'm making him bounce up
and down on my cock. Our bodies are making those slapping sounds again along
with a creak in the bed. His breaths are coming out in hard grunts and moans.

I whisper, "Tell me if you need to stop, okay baby?"

He nods and rasps out, "I will…but I fucking…guarantee you…that I won't…want

you to…stop. Ever."

My arms and legs are aching but the burn they feel is fuckin amazing. I can feel
Edward getting hard again and I can't help myself from pulling him away from the
wall and turning to the side, throwing him down onto the mattress underneath me,
our bodies never disconnecting.

He moans loudly as his feet press against the headboard to bring himself up to
meet my now wild thrusts in and out of his slick, hard body.

We kiss again with lips and tongues and teeth as our fingers grab onto any
available body part we can grab. We're both moaning and grunting and sweating
and cursing cuz if he's feelin half as good as I'm feelin right now…Heaven can't
compete with this shit right here.

And then, he wraps one leg around me and pushes to roll me over on my back,
never breaking our kiss as he sits on top of me now.

I moan and my knees go up and my feet plant in the mattress to be able to fuck
him back. I'm getting so fuckin deep inside him right now that my whole body is
shaking with every thrust up being met with him riding me hard and fast.

- 693 -
 But I'm a dominant creature by nature, so eventually, I flip him back over on his
back and take over.

But, I soon find out that Eddie is developing some of my characteristics as he

pushes me back again onto my back and takes over.

The night goes on like this for a long fuckin time, until the sun is burning my eyes
and the birds are singing outside.

And I'm real fuckin close as he spills again between our stomachs, so I roll him
back over and slam into him with a few wild hard strokes until I feel it…that cosmic
explosion of pleasure and happiness.

I cum hard with our lips together, mouths open and swallowing each other's
moans.

Then I collapse on top of him. Both of us covered in sweat, bodies aching, chests
heaving.

My arms and legs are like Jello but I manage to roll over off of him so I don't crush
him.

We take a few minutes to regain our breath. He looks over at me with bloodshot
eyes and a beautiful crooked grin as he pants out, "You really thought…you wouldn't
be…any good?"

I smile now as I rasp out, "So, it was…good then?"

He laughs breathlessly as he holds out his fist for me to bump, "You're

the…motherfucking man, Jay."

I laugh now and bump his fist back.

We laugh for a second and I'm just overcome with exhaustion so I whisper,
"C'mere, baby."

He raises an arm that falls limply back to the mattress, "Can't move."

I laugh, "How bout I help ya?"

I managed enough strength to reach over and wrap an arm around him as he
reached back over me and, together, we pulled him close enough so his head could
- 694 -
lay on my chest.

He curled into my chest and took a deep breath, sleepily whispering, "I love you,
Jay."

I smile as my eyelids get impossibly heavy and whisper, "Mmm…love you too,
Eddie."

I don't know who fell asleep first this time.

So, I hope I did it justice. Next chapter will be EPOV, recapping this little
session and visiting his mother's grave before they head to Indiana. Just to
let you guys know, I still have quite a bit of the story left to tell, so as long
as you guys stick with me, this will be a pretty damn long story.

- 695 -
 Chapter 34

Eddie's POV

My eyes fluttered open, then quickly shut again as the bright sunlight poured in
through the open patio doors.

I take a deep breath and crack them open again. The goofy, blissfully happy smile
that only he can give me comes to my face as I watch the rays of light dance along
his skin and melt into his golden curls.

So I lay my chin back down on his sun kissed chest and just gaze happily at the
most beautiful man I have ever seen.

And I take the time to worship this ethereal creature lying partially underneath
me. My eyes tip toe along every inch of his angelic body…ready to commit every
scar, every freckle, every perfect imperfection, to memory…but then realizing that I
already have.

I sigh happily as the grin on my face threatens to crack my cheeks because I can't
stop smiling…but then, why would I?

I just had the most incredible…no, spiritual, earth shattering, awe-inspiring night
of my life. Being with Jasper is like being in Heaven.

My eyes close lazily as the memories from this morning play behind my closed
lids.

"Do you really think that I could stand to make love to you and not look in your
eyes?"

I don't even know why I was so worried that he might want it from behind…I
should've known better, especially for our first time. Jay always loved looking into
my eyes when we were being intimate. He could easily read everything there and
always knew the right thing to say or do.

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul…Jasper saw my soul better
than anyone…I just hoped he could see his reflection back in my eyes because our
souls were one. Aristotle said it best, 'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting
two bodies.' Jay and I dwelled inside of each other, even when we were thousands of

- 696 -
miles apart.

Visions of darkened, golden curls, heavy and damp with sweat hung down from his
perfect face…his eyes were a storm of blue, ever-changing and magnificent…his
pink lips were swollen and needy of my taste.

Sticky, heated flesh burning up the sheets as our bodies clung together in our
little spiritual rendezvous of love and lust and wanton desire.

The sounds of skin against skin, glistening and steamy and desperate to get just a
little closer.

I most definitely believed in fate…how could I not? I am positive that there was a
greater force working to bring me my angel…they say that God answers prayers in
His own time…I just had to wait a few years for mine to be answered.

It's still amazing to me…the effect I have on him. This beautiful, perfect creature
shudders from my touch…aches for it…needs and desires it as badly as I desire him.
Just amazing.

"Shit, pretty boy…keep sayin them pretty words and you're gonna make me cum
'fore we ever get started."

He thinks my words are pretty but he has the lover's tongue, sweet and sultry and
causing the prickly rise of my heated flesh…among other things…

Jasper rivals even Raphael the Archangel, thought to be the Patron Saint of
Lovers. Raphael means, God's remedy because he banished the darkness from
Tobin's eyes…Jasper has banished the darkness from mine.

And who are we kidding…there is no better lover than Jay.

His words are so loving and moving…his soft touches and gentle caresses convey
every powerful emotion behind them…I can see everything in his baby blue eyes.

I was heartbroken when he thought he had messed everything up by being too

fast…I'm thankful that I was able to help him realize that uncontrollable passion and
desire…only make for better love making.

I mean, really, what's the point of making love to someone without that crazy,
frenetic heat and passion that cause you to lose all control to your desires and obey
the commands of your body and heart?
- 697 -
 I was so terrified when I saw the black shadow whip behind him against the full
white moonlight. Not terrified of what I saw, but terrified that he would stop. I
should've known that he'd make them go away. His fingers began their healing
touch as his eyes held my own causing everything else to just fade away.

I was anticipating pain but his searing fingertips didn't burn like Hell's fire…no,
they burned me with passion and love and tenderness…only bringing pleasure so
hot that I feared my body might burst into flames…but then, it would have most
definitely been worth it.

His sweet profession of when he first realized he was falling in love with
me…easily drowned out the heinous whispers and laughter of the imaginary demons
who tried to take my happiness away…and Jay, once again, won the battle easily,
emerging this time with no scars.

By the time he actually began pushing himself inside of me…I was already lost in
pleasure.

I expected an excruciating pain, at least for a few minutes, until I was used to
it…but I felt none. The only thing I felt was his hard, slick body sliding sensually
against mine…the heat and honey of his breath washing over me as soft moans
poured from his pink plump lips…and the overpowering feeling of my angel loving
me from the inside out...filling me inside with his pure sticky honey.

If the demons tried to make an appearance, they were out of luck because I was
completely absorbed…encompassed…infused with nothing but Jasper. He filled
every one of my senses to the brim until they were overflowing…nothing else could
possibly get in.

I felt the tremble in his body as he made love to me…I felt the catch in his breath
and the pounding in his chest…I felt the overwhelming realization that this was
really happening and I had to ask him if he was okay.

I had never felt anything better.

Being inside of Jasper is truly a gift from God…but Jasper being inside of me…it
was like the doors of Heaven opened up and welcomed me home.

Corny I know, but it was true. This was right for me. This was what I wanted. This
was where I belonged now and forever.

Not to say that I didn't want to be inside of him anymore because I most certainly
- 698 -
do…it's just…after everything that happened to me, I never dreamed how good this
could possibly feel. The reality was way better than the fantasy.

And the wall…oh God, when he pushed me against the wall…

After I walked in on him and Maria, before we were "together", occasionally my

mind would drift and I would wonder what it would be like to be taken against the
wall by Jasper Whitlock.

Now I can understand why Maria was so angry when he dumped her…after
experiencing that, I would be mad as hell too.

The cold hard wall pressed against my back…his muscular hot chest pressed
against my front…his strong thighs flexing as he squeezed my ass with those rough
fingers and fucked me…ugh…I wonder how much longer he's going to sleep…

I pressed my lips against his chest and kissed it softly as he began to stir. He
mumbled in his sleep, "Mmm, Eddie…"

His cock started to stir now as well.

I smiled as I continued covering his chest in soft wet kisses. His fingers
instinctively reached for my hair and tangled themselves in it. He started moaning
faintly until I licked his ribcage…then he started giggling.

I found a ticklish spot!

I licked it again earning another cute giggle from him. I looked up at him now as I
gently ran my tongue along his ribcage while ghosting my fingers down his side. He
couldn't decide if he wanted to moan or giggle.

Now I started laughing as he started squirming underneath me and trying to push

me away…but I was having none of that so I grabbed his hands and pinned them
above his head.

I was straddling him now as I leaned down into his neck and whispered, "Wake up,
love."

He groaned and bucked up into me which caused my cock to get a little stiffer.

I bit my lip and took a breath to calm myself, "Wake up, love."

- 699 -
 He started shaking his head and mumbled, "Don't wanna…"

I leaned down and rested my head on his shoulder, letting go of his hands as he
wrapped his arms around me.

I whispered, "Baby…honey…come on, lovekins…rise and shine…."

He started giggling again as one eye opened and he looked at me, "Lovekins,
huh?"

Now I started laughing as he squeezed me tighter and whispered, "Mornin',

darlin."

I sighed happily in his arms, "Good morning, babe."

It didn't escape my attention that our cocks were still hard and pressing against
each other. A small moan escaped my lips as he started rolling his hips gently
underneath mine.

I lifted my head to look into those familiar hooded midnight eyes as he closed the
short distance and pressed his lips to mine. It didn't take long for the kiss to deepen
and soon I was meeting his hips with my own.

His hand pulled away from my back and a moment later I broke the kiss panting
as he smirked, holding the bottle of lube in his hand, "Wanna fuck?"

As much as I wanted to…the sharp pain in my backside made me bite my lip as I

mumbled, "Um…I'm a little sore, Jay."

Now he broke out into a full on dimpled grin as he grabbed my hand and placed
the lube in it, "I'm not."

I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, "Eddie, did ya think that just cuz you
bottomed for me now that I wouldn't wanna do it for you anymore?"

I could feel my cheeks start to heat up as I smiled sheepishly, "Um…I guess I kind
of did."

He just shook his head and pulled me closer, "I'll always want you, Edward…any
way I can get you. And I figured since we're already covered in jizz, we might as well
start the mornin off right, before we shower."

- 700 -
 I smiled crookedly now as I flipped open the top and poured some lube on my
hand. I took a few minutes to prepare him before I was finally finding the relief I so
anxiously needed.

I slowly pushed my length inside of him until I was fully seated. He moaned as I
began rocking my hips gently, sliding in and out of his firm, tan ass…

Tan? Why the hell is his ass so tan?

I couldn't stop myself from asking in shallow breaths as I moved in and out of him,
"Jay? Why is…your ass so…tan?"

His eyes opened now and he laughed breathlessly, "Skinny dippin, baby…"

I felt my jaw clench and my brows pull together as I growled, "Who the fuck…did
you go skinny…dipping with?"

He rolled his eyes, groaning and before I knew it, he had rolled me over onto my
back as he began riding me, "Seriously, Edward? Ya…wanna have
this…conversation now?"

I gripped his hips as a long moan escaped my lips and I pushed my head back into
the pillows…but yes, I most certainly did want to have this conversation now.

I panted out, "Yes. Now. Who?"

He laughed again as he bounced up and down on my cock, "My cousins…dipshit."

Oh…hadn't thought about that…wait, did he just call me a dipshit?

Now, I pushed him until he was on his back and I hovered above him. I pushed
into him a little harder causing him to moan out now as his head pushed back into
the pillow.

"Did you just…call me a…dipshit?"

He just moaned and nodded, "Yup…sure did."

I smirked now as I slipped my arms underneath his back and panted out, "Oh, it's
on…Whitlock."

He laughed breathlessly, "Bring it…Cullen."

- 701 -
 I rocked back on my calves bringing him up to a sitting position on my lap, just
like he did with me last night, causing him to gasp as his arms tightened around my
neck.

I smirked as he held on tight and I pushed him back against the headboard,
"Don't…underestimate me…Jay."

His head fell back against the headboard with a thud as I used both hands to grip
the top of the wooden ledge behind him. I used it as leverage as I began giving it as
good as I got it last night.

His eyes were closed tightly as his mouth hung open muttering cuss words and his
hands clenched my shoulders.

But I knew it must've still felt good because his dick was wedged between us,
throbbing and jerking and hard as steel.

I was ramming him against the headboard and I hoped I wasn't hurting his back,
but he didn't seem to mind as his hand snaked in between us and began pumping his
hard shaft in rhythm to my thrusts.

I was getting really close now and my eyes squeezed shut but the wonderful
sounds of sex filled the air to bring me to the edge…his heavy breath littered with
swears and grunts…the 'smack' of our bodies coming together hard and fast and in
rapid succession…the 'thud' of the headboard slamming into the wall over and over
again…even the pounding back from the other side of the wall screaming at us to
"knock it off!"

Jay grunted in ragged breaths, "Fuck that motherfucker…we're checkin out

soon…don't fuckin stop, baby…"

I opened my eyes and smiled, whispering breathlessly, "Wasn't planning on

stopping, babe."

He smiled back and I took his lips to mine as we both soon leapt off the edge, him
cumming hard and wet against my stomach and me following soon after him, deep
inside his very tan ass.

He was looking down at me with a wide dimpled grin and I smirked, "What's my
motherfucking name, lovekins?"

He laughed as he leaned down and kissed me, "Edward motherfuckin Cullen,

- 702 -
baby."

We were both giggling as we kissed a few times and finally broke away to begin
our day. I was glad that we had at least started the morning off right because today
was bound to be a difficult one for both of us.

I was anxious to visit my mother's grave and say my final goodbye to her, yet I was
more anxious about Jay visiting his mother. I loved seeing him like he was right now,
smiling and carefree…the thought of what that woman was capable of doing to him,
even behind those prison walls, made my stomach retch.

We peeled ourselves from bed…and yes, we did have to peel ourselves because we
were, in fact, covered in jizz, sticky and crusty and yep, it was pretty gross.

We took a long time in the shower, taking the opportunity to wash each other
gently and relish in the loving afterglow of our recent experiences.

But my favorite part of the shower, was when we just held each other close and
kissed as the hot water streamed down over us. We kissed forever, until I heard my
cell phone ringing my dad's ring tone and figured I better grab it.

I hopped out of the shower, dripping wet as I grabbed my phone. Jay turned off
the water right as I answered it and breathed out, "Hey dad!"

He laughed, "Good morning, son. How are my boys today?"

I smiled as I felt Jasper standing behind me, towel drying my hair as I laughed,
"Good, dad…we just got out of the shower…"

Jasper busted out laughing and I stood there frozen, feeling my whole body turn
red as I realized that I just told my dad that we just got out of the shower.

I rolled my eyes when I heard my dad laughing on the other end, "Little Freudian
slip there, son?"

I chewed on my lip, "Um…yeah, sorry about that."

He sighed and he was smiling, I could tell, "Don't worry about it…your mother and
I just got out of the bath so…"

I groaned and ran my hand over my face, "Ugh! No, dad! Please, no talk about you
and mom and the bath ever, ever again."
- 703 -
 His laughter started to die down as he chuckled, "Okay, okay…boy, this talk went
south fast, huh?"

Now I chuckled as I felt Jay wrap the towel around my waist for me. I turned my
head slightly and mouthed 'Thanks' to which he just looked at me and smiled before
kissing my forehead and turning to dry himself off.

"So, anyway, I just wanted to check in with you boys. Are you still planning on
going to the cemetery today, son?"

I sighed now as I walked into the other room and sat down on the bed, "Um,
yeah."

He spoke quietly, "It will be okay, Edward. I hope you know that your mother
would be very proud of you."

I could feel my eyes starting to burn so I quickly wiped at them, "Yeah? I don't
know, dad. I don't know how'd she feel about me."

"Why on earth would she be anything other than proud of you, son? You're one of
the most incredible people I've ever known."

I wiped again at my eyes and took a deep breath, "What if…um…dad, it talks
about homosexuality in the Bible. My mother was insanely religious. What if
she…she may have hated me for it."

He sighs as he speaks, "Edward, I'm not an overly religious man but I do believe in
God. I don't have all of the answers but I can give you my opinion on the subject
matter. We are all sinners, son, there is no way around that. The Bible also says that
sin is sin, plain and simple. We are not to question Him but that doesn't mean we
have to have all the answers. I simply believe that humans are in no place to judge
others. I believe that homosexuality is a trait that someone is born with, just like the
color of their eyes or hair. Therefore, I don't believe it to be a sin. I don't see how
anyone could be judged badly for simply loving another human…for we are all God's
children and a real Father could never shun His child."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed, "Do you really believe that, dad?"

"Yes, I do, son."

I smiled a little and let out a breath, "Thanks.

- 704 -
 He spoke again, "You're welcome, son. Now, are you boys still planning on visiting
Linda today?"

I looked over at Jay who had just walked back in the room with the towel around
his waist.

"Um…yeah…"

I watched as he opened the towel and brought it up to his hair, drying his golden
curls. I remembered the first time I saw him naked…his calves and thighs were
muscular but lean. I traced the lines with my eyes and my breathing hitched as I
came to his ass.

He had the perfect ass.

I bit my lip to stifle a moan as he bent down and slid on a pair of white boxer
briefs. He pulled them up over his strong tan calves…his solid sexy thighs…and over
that perfect ass.

I could see the faint tint of his tan skin through the white cotton and…

"Edward! Quit looking at whatever you're looking at and pay attention!"

My father's voice ringing in my ear brought me back to reality as I felt my whole

body turn red.

I completely forgot he was on the phone…

"Um…I wasn't…um…shit, sorry, dad…"

He laughed as he sighed out, "Language, young man. Now, let me speak to Jasper
for a few minutes."

"Okay, hang on."

"Hey, son?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Here's Jay."

- 705 -
 I handed the phone to Jay who was now just laughing at my precarious little
situation earlier.

His demeanor changed when he started talking to dad. I figured they were talking
about his upcoming visit with Linda. I knew dad had been really worried about it. He
nearly got on a plane to come and bring us home when he found out we had visited
my childhood home but after a lot of talking, he finally relented and just made me
promise to call the Doc and talk about it. Our schedule was planned in the morning
so I would wait and talk with him then.

It wasn't much later until we were on the road, a bouquet of flowers in hand, as
we made our way to the cemetery.

Jasper was driving and he held my hand as we pulled in. He ran inside the
mortuary and found out where her stone was located before we slowly began driving
there.

I looked around at all of the headstones and flowers and mourners. I had never
been to a cemetery before. I wasn't sure if I wanted to ever come back to one.

We came to a stop and Jasper turned off the car.

He turned to me and brushed his fingertips along my cheek, "This is it, darlin."

I nodded, my emotions starting to already bubble inside of me that I was scared to

speak, thinking they might just bubble over.

I couldn't will myself to move as I sat there, looking down and taking in deep
breaths.

His arms slipped around me and pulled me to him. His fingers brushed through
my hair as he whispered, "You don't have to leave this car, Edward. You can say
good bye right here, baby."

I shook my head and took one more deep breath.

It's my fault she's gone…I had to ask for her forgiveness…had to tell her I was
sorry…had to make sure she knew she was worth more than a drive by farewell…

I slowly pulled away and opened my door.

I stepped on weary legs and felt the ground tremble beneath me…
- 706 -
 Hold it together, Edward…

'Your fault…all your fault…'

All the air rushed out of me as I heard the haunting whispers in my ear. I shook
my head to rid myself and was suddenly surrounded by warmth.

His arm was around my waist and he pulled my arm around his shoulder as I felt
my knees weaken again.

I looked up through burning eyes to see his truthful blue eyes staring back at me.

He whispered, "One step at a time, baby…we'll go slow…"

'Weak…pathetic…always terrified…'

I pulled away from him and stood my ground as I wiped away at my eyes furiously,
"No! I can do this by myself! I'm not…weak!"

He shoved his hands in his pockets, probably to keep himself from reaching out
for me. He cocked his head to the side and stared at me so intensely that I soon
found my eyes retreating to the ground to break free as the confidence started
slowly seeping out of me.

His voice was strong and confident as he spoke, "Raise them pretty green eyes
and look at me, Edward."

I lifted my gaze slowly and was met with a storm of blue and gray, "I don't know
what they're telling you right now, Eddie…and frankly, I don't care cuz it's all
bullshit. It's your subconscious makin you feel guilty cuz you blame yourself for
breaking a damn glass and bein too scared to clean it up. You were six years old for
fucks sake. You're not weak. What happened to your mama ain't your fault. Your
father killed your mama cuz he was sick and ain't nothing you coulda done to
change it. Your mama wouldn't want you carrying this burden, man. Go and talk to
her. Tell her everything and get it all out and then let this shit go, baby, cuz that's all
these demons are…guilt…fear…ya gotta let it go, sugar."

How is he so incredibly smart?

I took another breath and nodded as I reached my hand out to him. He took it and
whispered, "I love you, Edward."

- 707 -
 I whispered back, "I love you too, Jasper. Thank you."

He half smiled and we started walking over to the grave. When we reached the
stone, my eyes burned hot with tears as I whispered her name, "Elizabeth Marie
Masen."

I bent down on one knee and laid the bouquet of flowers over her grave. Memories
came running through my mind as I broke down. Of course, my angel was there this
time to hold me as I cried.

I lay crying on my bedroom floor. My whole body is freezing and shaking. Colored
paper covers my floor in shreds as the world that I made for myself all came
crumbling down.

No more flowers.

No more stars.

No more sun or moon.

Nothingness surrounds me once again.

The door creaks as it slowly opens and panic sets through me. I scurry quickly
along my floor, backing up into a corner, even as the fresh red welts on my back
burn and ache.

I just know he's back to hurt me again.

I'm relieved when I see her glistening eyes as she quickly rushes to me and scoops
me up in her arms. I yelp as she holds me close and rocks me because my body is
sore and tender.

I want to tell her that I'm scared but not being allowed to speak very much, I can't
find the words.

So, I reach and grab my Bible, quickly turning to Luke 12:5. She reads it and I
follow along in my mind.

'But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the
body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.'

My mind screams at her to understand me. He will kill me…he will destroy
- 708 -
me…us…I can feel it with everything I have, even at five years old.

But she never could read my mind.

She cried softly and continued rocking me in her lap. I relished the comfort of
being in her arms, even if I knew it would soon pass. Sometimes the pain was almost
worth it because sometimes, my mother would hold me and I wouldn't be alone.

I fell asleep and woke up on my bed. I looked as my Bible laid open next to me and
I read silently the passage that was underlined, 'Psalms 61:1, Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.'

I jumped from my bed and knelt down, folding my hands and bowing my head. I
began praying silently, 'Dear God, please send me an angel…please save me…'

"Sshh…I'm here, baby…I'm here…"

His honey breath washes over me and I raise my sore eyes to look into his. They
are a tempest of blue and midnight and I get lost in them for awhile until my sobs
finally cease and my body stills.

We are both now sitting on the ground as he pulls my back to his chest and wraps
his arms around me. His long legs are stretched out as my knees are pulled to my
chin.

I start speaking with her in my thoughts…

Mom…I'm so sorry that I messed up your plans…

But then I remember that I am allowed to speak now so I take a breath and just
start talking.

"Please forgive me, mom. We could've escaped…you should still be here and I feel
like it's my fault that you're not. I messed up everything. I hate…I hate that your
final breath…was ended by me. If I could've fought back…but I was so scared…"

I rambled for a long time as I just spoke aloud every thought that came into my
mind. I apologized and asked for forgiveness. I told her everything I had wanted to
tell her back then of how afraid I was and how I knew something really bad was
going to happen.

Once I started speaking about my entire childhood, I began to question things…

- 709 -
 "Why did you wait so long to leave? Why didn't you try to stop him from hurting
me all those times? You were just as scared as I was, right? But…but I was the
child…why didn't you protect me?"

Jasper stayed silent and just held onto me with his face buried into my shoulder
from behind me.

Accepting that I would never get the answers I sought, I moved on and told her
about Carlisle and Esme. I told her about the bullying and psychiatric hospitals…the
cutting and the demons. I told her about Jasper.

Finally, I wanted to talk to her about one more thing but didn't want Jay there so
that I didn't inadvertently hurt his feelings.

"Baby? Um…would you mind giving me a few minutes alone?"

He kissed my cheek and whispered, "Not at all, darlin. I'm gonna go smoke a
cigarette and wait by the car."

I whispered my thanks as he stood and laid the single rose he had on her grave.
He whispered, "I promise I'll always take care of him, Mrs. Masen…and I'll always
love him with everything I have and cherish every moment I have with him. I hope
you would've liked me cuz I'm gonna marry your son and I know how important it
would be for him to have your approval. So, I hope you approve."

He turned and winked at me as he walked away which made me smile.

Once I was sure he couldn't hear me, I sighed and closed my eyes as I began
whispering, "I'm in love, mom. I'm not sure what you'd think about it but…I just
can't…I can't believe that God didn't send him to me. I can't believe that God would
hate me for loving him. He is everything I ever wanted and so much more than I
realized I needed. I can tell you for certain that if he hadn't found me…I would not
be here. If not for him…I would've ended my life by now…I'm certain of it…or I
would still be locked up in a crazy house. He not only protected me physically from
my tormentors…he protected my sanity when I was losing it…he still does. And if I'm
wrong about God's feelings towards us…then I will face my judgment with a happy
heart because an eternity in Hell…is well worth one lifetime with him loving me."

I took a breath and glanced over at him. The sun was high in the sky sending
golden rays of light that only made his beauty shine that much brighter. He was
leaning against the car, taking a drag from his cigarette and absent mindedly
running his fingers through his honey curls.
- 710 -
 Perfection.

I smiled as I turned back and kept talking, "He's the most beautiful thing I've ever
seen, mom. And he's so good to me. The thing with Jay…he knows what I'm thinking
without me having to say a word. I tried so hard to communicate with you but…I'm
not sure if you ever understood what was going on inside my head. He does. My life
really didn't begin until him. Before him, I was alive but not living. He makes me
want to get out of bed in the morning…or stay in bed…jeez, um…never mind.
Anyway, I just thought you should know that I'm happier than I ever dreamed. I
wanted you to know that my adopted parents are simply amazing and I have
incredible friends. I hope that you're happy for me…"

"Edward Masen?"

I heard the whisper of my name as I turned my head, certain that my mind was
playing tricks on me again.

However when I looked up and saw bright emerald eyes staring into mine…I
realized that my demons were always faceless…this one looked very much like me,
bronze hair and all.

I gasped as a wave of panic set in and I started backing up along the ground to get
away.

He took a step forward as I shook my head, unable to form any words as my heart
felt like it might beat out of my chest.

I was screaming in my head for Jasper and just like I told my mother…he was
there.

I watched as he jumped between me and the green eyed man, shoving him back as
he growled, "Back the fuck up! Don't take another fuckin step towards him!"

The man's eyes went wide as he huffed, "Who the hell are you?"

I was sucking in air, trying to take in the sight before me as Jay stood protectively
in front of me.

His fists were balled up as he sneered, "I'm the motherfucker who's gonna make
sure you never leave this god damn place if you come close to Edward again."

I scrambled to my feet and stood behind Jasper, peeking over his shoulder. I knew
- 711 -
I needed to deal with this but quite frankly, I liked feeling safe behind Jay. I knew he
would protect me from anything. He was scared of nothing. Unlike my mother and I.

I took a breath and spoke from behind him, staring curiously but cautiously into
the stranger's familiar eyes, "Who are you?"

He sighed as he looked past Jasper at me, "I'm your Uncle Tony, Edward. You got
your middle name from me. I could recognize you anywhere."

I shook my head and whispered, "No. I don't remember you."

My breathing hitched as he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.
I heard Jasper's breathing hitch, as well.

"I was there…at the hospital after the…incident. Before that, the last time I had
seen you, you were three."

My eyes were on fire as I pulled all of memories together but came up with
nothing, "I don't…why would my parents have never said anything? They never
mentioned you."

His eyes bore into mine as he pulled his hand through his hair, "We had a falling
out. I moved away and we lost touch."

I carefully pulled away from Jasper and stood beside him, "Why are you here?"

I finally noticed the flowers in his hand as he glanced down at my mother's grave.

"Your mother…her birthday was a few weeks ago and I missed it. I always bring
her flowers."

So many questions were running through my mind, I didn't know where to begin.

"I don't understand. You said you moved away but you bring my mom flowers?
Why?"

He nodded, "I did move away, for college. I came back after that day. I bring your
mother flowers because she was my friend…my family and I failed her. She has no
other family. And after you were gone, I had no other family."

My mind was completely twisted.

- 712 -
 I couldn't think straight as I just shook my head and whispered, "I just…I don't
understand."

He took another step forward and Jasper did the same thing, standing toe to toe
with him.

"I fuckin warned you once. I won't do it again. Step back."

Tony's eyes locked on mine for a moment before he gulped and retreated a few
steps. As sweet and wonderful as my Jay was, if you were on his bad side, I could see
how terrifying he would be.

I put my hand on Jay's shoulder and whispered, "It's okay, Jay. I'm okay."

His eyes never left the man in front of him.

I watched as Tony's eyes began to glisten and he turned to my mother's grave.

Bending down and lying the flowers over top the freshly cut grass, he whispered,
"I'm so sorry, Liz. I miss you every day and not a moment goes by that I don't regret
the things I've done. I will suffer and repent for my sins every moment of every day.
I love you, Lizzie."

He stood back up, shoulders slumped and looking utterly defeated. I really took in
his appearance for a moment and reveled in the notion that I had an uncle…a blood
relative…my father's brother.

He was tall, around 6'1, it didn't appear that he ate well because he was very thin,
his emerald eyes looked tired with dark purple bruises underneath from lack of
sleep, he was probably in his late thirties, around Carlisle's age, although the
wrinkles around his eyes made him look a little older. His auburn hair was unkempt
and his chin was covered in scruff. My eyes traveled to his arms where I noted the
dark purple bruises in the crevices of his elbows, where his flannel shirt barely hid
them. He was an addict.

He looked down at the ground and sighed, "I'm sorry, Edward. I saw you and I just
knew that I should've turned around and came back later but before I knew it…I had
walked up and said your name. It would be better if you just pretended this never
happened. I'm sorry."

He turned and started to walk away when my heart strings just began to tug
fiercely.

- 713 -
 "Wait!"

Jasper's head turned to me in shock as I walked past him. Tony stopped and
turned back, "Edward…forget that I exist. I promise that it will be better for you in
the long run."

I shook my head as Jasper came up beside me again and placed his hand on my
back, keeping me calm enough to speak again.

"I can't just pretend that you don't exist. Please. I have so many questions…things
that you may be able to answer…"

He pinched the bridge of his nose again and shook his head, "I can't. I can't…talk
about it. Just let me walk away." He turned again and started to do just that.

I couldn't stop myself now as I mimicked him and pinched the bridge of my nose
as my eyes squeezed shut, "Please Uncle Tony. If you ever loved me at all, even if for
just a moment…please talk to me."

He stopped and stood there for a moment, his shoulders shaking as his head hung
low. Eventually he turned back around and gave me a half hearted crooked smile,
"When you were three, you couldn't say my name. You called me Unky Ony."

I took a breath and spoke again, "Please. I saw a diner just a couple of blocks from
here. Let me buy you lunch and we'll talk. Did you drive here?"

He nodded, "Um…yeah. I need to make a quick stop and then I'll meet you there."

He needed his fix…my heart ached for him…

I nodded back and told him where it was. I just prayed that he would show up.

When we got in the car, Jay turned to me and sighed, "Are you sure this is a good
idea, Edward? The guy's a junkie. Did you see his track marks?"

I nodded as I started the car and began my way out of the cemetery, "Yeah, I
know. And I know what he's doing right now but I'm not going to judge him for it,
Jay. You know as well as anyone that the things we remember as children aren't
necessarily the truth. I just need to know the truth about everything. He's the only
person I have to find that out. I don't know if this is a good idea, but I'm doing it
anyway."

- 714 -
 He just nodded and reached his hand over, lacing his fingers with mine as he
whispered, "Fair enough, babe."

We rode in silence to the diner and opted for an outside table since the weather
was nice and Jay could smoke.

I played nervously with my cup of sweet tea as Jasper seemed to be surveying

everything around us. We were both tense and cautious but I was glad that he didn't
fight me on this. He understood, just like he always does.

After about a half hour, I was feeling disheartened and was certain that he
wouldn't show. I started to say that we should just leave until Jay leaned forward
and sighed, "Here he comes, Eddie."

I let out a breath as he pulled out a chair across from us and sat down. He lit up a
cigarette and cleared his throat, "I'm sorry for making you wait so long."

I just smiled and handed him a menu, "It's okay. Order whatever you like."

He smiled back sheepishly and began studying it. The waitress came over and
took our order, then left us alone.

We sat there for a moment in awkward silence until he finally cleared his throat
and whispered, "What did you want to know?"

I spoke quietly, "Everything. Just start at the beginning."

He nodded and took a drag from his cigarette, his hands fidgeting nervously on
top of the table.

"I'm four years younger than Edward was. Growing up, we were as close as two
brothers could be. He always looked out for me…he was very protective. I looked up
to him. Our father was a devout Catholic and we spent all of our free time in church.
We were both altar boys. But our father…he was…difficult."

He sighed and hung his head down as he closed his eyes, "He was abusive. He
beat us daily for some insignificant thing…he'd always find a reason. Mother was
just…there. She was beaten too and she just gave up. Even when he started on us,
she would never stand up for us…she always took his side."

"I was five when I noticed how my big brother was changing. His spirit was slowly
being broken. When we would come home from church, he would just…sit in the
- 715 -
shower for hours until our mother dragged him out, freezing and shaking. One night
I heard my father screaming and I ran out of my room to see him beating Edward
with a leather belt until his back was torn open. Edward had just confessed that
some members of the clergy had been molesting him. Of course, father didn't
believe him. He called him an evil, wicked child."

Slowly, pieces of the puzzle began to come together. And I was having a difficult
time because I felt pity and sadness for the child my father once was…but anger and
hate for the man he grew up to be. It was like walking a tight rope, swaying easily to
both sides but trying your hardest not to fall off in either direction.

He stubbed out his cigarette and quickly lit another. Jasper's hand was on my
knee underneath the table, keeping it from shaking.

Tony took a breath and continued, "He was only nine at the time. I didn't
understand what they were talking about…until a year later when it began
happening to me. I knew better than to say anything and Edward knew it was
happening to me now. He tried his best to shield me…take as much of the abuse as
he could handle to keep it…easier on me. Raised the way we were…we were socially
awkward and never really had any friends, until we met your mother. She began
coming to the church when she was nine. Edward was ten. She never came with
anyone…she was always alone."

"We all fell into an easy friendship because she was as awkward as we were. We
were…the three muskateers. I followed them everywhere they went and they never
turned me away, even if I was so much younger than them. We found out that the
reason she was always alone was because she lived in a Children's Home and would
always sneak away. She lost her parents to a house fire when she was just an infant.
She told us of the abuse she endured at the home and we told her of ours. We vowed
each other to secrecy and we were there for one another when no one else was."

The waitress brought out our food as we all tried to inconspicuously hide our
glistening eyes. It was no surprise when we each pushed our plates to the side and
leaned closer to hear the rest.

He wiped his eyes and sniffled, looking completely broken and my heart ached.

"When he was 17, I got sick with pneumonia. He fought against my father so that
he could skip church and stay with me for the night. Eventually, father relented and
he stayed. Liz showed up shortly after they left. Our parents never returned home
that night. They were both robbed and murdered on their way home from church
services. And as horrible as it may sound…we were all truly happy for the first time.
- 716 -
We were free. It was only natural that Edward and Liz begin dating after that. She
ran away from the Children's Home and lived with us."

"Six months later was the first time I saw him hit her. She forgave him, of course.
But I watched for the next two years as he just got worse and worse. I would try to
step in and we would fight. He was becoming someone I didn't even recognize. Our
grandfather was schizophrenic…I should've noticed the signs but I was only thirteen
when they began…I just didn't realize. You were born when he was nineteen. They
got married while she was pregnant with you. One particular beating caused her to
have you prematurely. You were only four pounds when you were born and stayed in
the hospital for nearly six months until you could come home."

Jasper groaned and ran his hands over his face. He had a particular hatred for
men that hit women. He always said it was because he had seen his mom get beaten
so many times.

Tony's eyes were clouded now and I could tell that he was lost in memories. I
didn't envy him.

After a moment, he took a sip of his Coke and lit another cigarette. Jasper did the
same as we took a minute to steel ourselves for the rest of the story.

He began again a few moments later, "When they brought you home, he had
become extremely paranoid. He was so afraid of anything bad happening to you…he
wanted to keep you locked away from the outside world…like a prisoner. So, while
he worked, I took you outside. Your mother was terrified of him finding out but I
didn't care. From the moment I saw you…I just loved you. But when he was home,
no one was allowed to touch you or get near you…even breath on you for fear that
something might happen to you. As school got harder for me and I focused so
intently on a way out…I had less and less time for you. You couldn't walk until you
were almost two years old. You could barely speak at all. You were two and a half
the first time you said 'No' to him. He back handed you."

Jasper muttered, "Son of a bitch," under his breath and took a drag from his
cigarette. Then he looked up and scowled, "Why didn't you do anything?"

Tony's hands were shaking as he spoke, "I tried…I begged Liz to leave him…"

Jasper rolled his eyes as he spat back, "That's fuckin bullshit! You woulda been
seventeen years old…you tellin me that you just stood there and didn't do a god
damn thing! You know it's wrong to beat a child, right? What the fuck was wrong
with you?"
- 717 -
 I put my hand on Jasper's arm and took a breath, "Calm down, Jay."

He groaned and crossed his arms across his chest as he sat back in the chair and
mumbled to himself, "It's fuckin people like you that make me sick…just fuckin turn
the other way when you see a kid…a fuckin baby bein abused. Fuckin spineless
pussy…"

Tony was shaking now as he started to stand, "He's right…I should go…"

I shook my head, "Please don't! Just…"

Now Jasper stood and glared at him, "Ya gonna fuckin run away from him again,
Uncle Tony? I don't think so. Sit your ass back down and answer his fuckin
questions."

I stood and grabbed his arm again, "Jay, please calm down."

Tony looked like he was going to throw up as he stammered, "I-I'm going to go to

the bathroom."

Jasper smirked as he walked over and threw his arm around his shoulder, "Good. I
need to go too. We can have a little chat. Edward, we'll be right back."

I started to protest but he threw me a look that stopped me and said again,
"Edward…we'll be right back."

I nodded and sat back down.

My stomach was in knots and my hands were trembling as I waited for their
return. I was petrified that Jasper was going to kick his ass and we'd have to leave
quickly.

A few minutes later they returned and Tony looked scared but not physically
harmed so I let out a breath I had been holding when they sat down.

Jay leaned back and lit another cigarette. Then he looked over at Tony, "Finish the
story."

Tony nodded nervously and continued, "Just a few months later, I graduated and
went to college in Ohio. After my first semester, I came back to visit. By that point,
you wouldn't speak at all. I begged Liz again to leave. I told her that I'd quit school
and get a job to take care of both of you. But…she just wouldn't leave. She had some
- 718 -
fierce sense of loyalty to my brother but I tried to explain that the man she was
married to…was not the same boy we had grown up with. Your father overhead us
talking and he was furious. He kicked me out of the house and told me to never
contact either of you again. So I left."

Jasper was disgusted, I could tell by the look on his face. I didn't know how to feel.

"After that, I didn't have any family left. I threw myself into school but every few
months, I would get a call from your mother. She would tell me that she was ready
to leave and then by the end of the conversation, she would change her mind. She
called me the very last day. She said she was ready and I made flight arrangements
to be there late that night so that I could meet you at the airport and take you both
home with me. Of course, by the end of the conversation, she had changed her mind
again."

"What? She wasn't really going to leave him that night?" My mind was racing now.

He sighed, "No, Edward…she wasn't going to leave. Your mother was a classic
victim of abuse. She would never leave him, no matter what he did. But I couldn't
shake the feeling I had so I got on that plane and went. I took a cab to the house and
arrived after midnight. I saw that the car was gone and the kitchen door was
standing open. I walked in and saw the blood…"

He held his hand over his face now as he took deep breaths. His voice was shaking
as he continued, "I called the police and I stayed and waited…time had never passed
so slowly. I got the call three days later saying that they had found you. The cops
told me that a couple of hunters saw what…what he was doing and…they killed him.
They found your mother's body in the trunk. I had to go and identify both my brother
and my only friend…my sister."

I shook my head, "Wait a minute…you said it was three days but it was only one…"

He sighed and shook his head, "No, Edward…it was three days. You had gone
catatonic and probably only remember the first day. I pulled out of school and
stayed at the hospital with you for three months. But when you finally started to
come back…just one look at me would send you into a state of panic. I look too much
like my brother and it only made it worse for you. So, I signed all of the paperwork
necessary for you to become a ward of the state. I had been so selfish…it seemed
like cutting you free from our family was the least selfish thing I could do for you at
that point. I wanted you to have a chance at a happy life. So, tell me, Edward…are
you happy?"

- 719 -
 I looked over at Jay as he reached out for my hand, "Yes, I'm very happy. I was
adopted by two wonderful people who love me as if I was their own…I have really
good friends who stand by me come Hell or high water…I have Jay. I'm very, very
happy."

Jay smiled at me and I smiled back.

I turned and looked at my Uncle who had a small smile on his face. He whispered,
"I finally did something right. I can tell you, Edward, that not a day goes by that I
don't wish I would've done something differently. I wish so much that I would've
been stronger for you and your mother. I wish I would've gotten someone else
involved. But I can't change the past…I will suffer the consequences of my inactions
for the rest of my days."

I sighed as I looked at the broken shell of a man before me. For some reason, I
didn't have it in my heart to walk away, as he had done.

I whispered, "Tony? My dad is a doctor. If I spoke with him…maybe we could get

you some help? Maybe rehab and therapy?"

He shook his head and a small sad smile was on his face as he whispered, "You
can't help me…"

I cut him off, "But maybe we could…it's not too late…"

He stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked into my eyes and
whispered, "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, Edward. If I
should ever run across you again…I'll turn and walk away because that's the best
thing I can do for you. Take care of yourself, son."

He turned and walked away. I started to call out to him when Jay's hand squeezed
my shoulder and he whispered, "Just let him walk away, Edward."

He pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the table as I watched the
unruly bronze hair turn the corner and disappear.

Jay wrapped his arms around me and just held me for a minute as I processed
everything that I heard.

A few minutes later, we were on the highway, heading for Indiana so that Jay
could talk with his mom. And even after hearing the whole story…I felt
better…somewhat lighter.
- 720 -
 Jasper was driving as I smiled over at him, "It wasn't my fault, Jay. She was never
going to leave him. I didn't ruin anything. It wasn't my fault."

He smiled back, "It wasn't your fault, Eddie. So now you have no reason to hold
onto that guilt or that fear. You can lay your demons to rest now, baby."

I reached over and laced my fingers with his free hand, lying my head back on the
head rest. After a few minutes, I felt my eyes getting sleepy. It had already been an
emotional day and it was only half over. We still had Jay's mother to deal with. I just
hoped that he would walk away from this unscathed. I hoped he got the answers he
needed. I hoped that she didn't fuck this up and he could finally get a little peace.

I felt his fingers brush through my hair and the last thing I remembered was his
soft voice, "Get some rest, baby. Sweet dreams, darlin."

And for the first time in a long time, my dreams were sweet.

- 721 -
 Chapter 35

I have to write a little something and tell you guys how psyched I am! Over
3k reviews! Are you freakin kiddin me? I know I don't reply and I'm sorry for
that, I don't get much time to write and I figured ya'll would rather have me
workin on the next chapter. But I had to say thank you and let you know how
much it means to me when I read your reviews. So, thanks. You guys
rock…and shit.

Playlist: (On my you tube, as always, in the playlists) Dan Auerbach (from
The Black Keys) - Whispered Words (Pretty Lies), The Black Keys - Things
Ain't Like They Used To Be.

Jay's POV

I ran my fingers through my beautiful boy's hair until I heard his soft snores. I
sighed and pulled out a cigarette as we flew down the highway. I hated lying to
Edward and I knew that he hated me keeping things from him to protect him, but
this time, I felt like I really had no other choice if he was ever gonna get any peace.

I quickly shut and locked the bathroom door behind myself as I followed Tony
inside. He gulped as he backed up and I closed the distance between us as I had him
pinned against the wall.

He stammered, "W-who the h-hell are you?"

I looked into his eyes and sneered, "As far as you're concerned, I'm the judge,
jury, and the fuckin executioner. What should matter to you right now, is that I will
protect that fuckin boy with my life. Ya think that I didn't know you were gonna run
again? I'm tryin my best to be fuckin patient with you, Tony, but patience is a god
damn virtue I don't have. I wanna know what happened that night. He said she was
plannin on leavin and since you were the only other person she knew, it only makes
sense that she called you. Did she?"

His eyes were wide and his whole body was shaking as he began sobbing, "She
did. She called every few months saying that she wanted to leave but she would
always back out of it. But she didn't this time. She was ready to leave him. She
called me the week before but…I…I didn't have the m-money to buy the plane
tickets until the week I got paid. It's my fault…if I would've done something to help
her leave when she asked, she would still be here. He wouldn't have lost his

- 722 -
mother…I wouldn't have lost my friend or my brother. I don't know what happened
to push him off the edge that night but I was on a plane back here when it
happened. It's all my fault."

I'm not a complete asshole so part of me felt a little bad for the guy, but that
didn't change the fact that this bastard sat by and did nothing while Edward was
being abused. And that fact led to the night that haunted my baby boy all of his
fuckin life. So forgive me if I was a little spiteful. He was a fuckin spineless pussy in
my book and that wasn't gonna change.

"Ya wanna know what happened that night? Let me tell you cuz I know the whole
fuckin story by heart, Edward still has nightmares almost every fuckin night and ya
know what happens? He ends up sittin in the god damn shower for hours until he
calms down. So, let me share what happened to your fuckin nephew. He knew his
mama was plannin on leavin that night. She had a suitcase hidden under the sink.
Edward accidentaly broke a glass at the dinner table and was too scared to get the
bleach from underneath the counter to clean it up. When your brother got it…he saw
the suitcase."

"So, he took a kitchen knife and gutted Lizzie right in front of him."

He ran into the stall and started throwing up. I continued, "Wait, I ain't done yet,
Uncle Tony. Then your brother forced the knife into Edward's hand and made him
'release his mama's demons.' Yeah, that's right, your fuckin nutcase brother was
arguing with demons in front of Edward and made your nephew deliver the cuts
that ended his mama's life. Once she was dead, he made Edward clean it up with
bleach. And then, then he threw him in the god damn trunk of his car along with his
mama's dead body. But that ain't all, you fuckin prick, then he beat the shit out of
him before telling him how much he loved him while he molested and raped him
over and over again. Ya think your story is fucked up? Edward deals with this fuckin
shit every god damn day of his life and he ain't a fuckin junkie like you. He fuckin
fights through it. He's the strongest person I've ever fuckin known and right now,
you got the power to really fuckin help him and by damn, that's what you're gonna
fuckin do."

He pulled his head outta the toilet and sat against the stall. He was still shaking
and was a fuckin mess. He sniffled, "I'll tell him the truth…it was my fault…"

I shook my head and crouched down, "What is it with you fuckin, Masen's? It
wasn't your fault and it wasn't Edward's fault. You didn't abuse your brother, you
didn't make Liz take it, you didn't make him schizophrenic, you didn't do any of
it…but you did sit by and knowingly let your nephew be abused. Everythin else ain't
- 723 -
your fault. And I don't think telling Eddie the truth is gonna help him cuz he'll still
feel like if he didn't break that glass then things would be different."

He pulled his knees up to his chin and buried his face, "What should I do? Tell me
what to say and I'll say it."

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, "I want you to lie. I want you to tell
him that his mama had no intention of leavin…that she backed out of it again like
always."

His voice broke as he sobbed into his knees, "I hate lying to him…"

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Edward's finally startin to move on with his
life…he's been in and out of psychiatric hospitals, he's cut himself, he's been havin
visions of demons like his daddy…the one thing that this all comes from is his guilt
and fear that, in some way, this shit was his fault. If you love him…you'll lie to him
so that he can lay his demons to rest. I suggest you try to do the same. It wasn't your
fault."

He sniffled and shook his head, "It is my fault, nothing will change that. I'll lie to
Edward if you think it will help him…I just don't want to hurt him anymore than I
already have. But I…I…"

He was shaking uncontrollably now as he began looking around and scratching at

his arm. I stood up and shut the bathroom stall cuz I knew he needed his fix to get
through this, without it, he would be a shaking, sniveling mess, "Go ahead, Tony…"

He cried as he shot himself up and I waited with my back against the bathroom
stall door.

When he was done, he opened the door and walked to the sink to splash some
water on his face. When he turned around I pulled out my wallet and handed him a
couple hundred bucks.

He looked shocked as he whispered, "Why?"

I shrugged, "You need help, Tony."

His fingers glided over the money, "But…you know I'll just shoot it up…"

I sighed, "Yeah, probably…but I can't say that if I had to walk in your shoes, I
wouldn't do the same. Just take it, I don't need it and if what you're about to do can
- 724 -
help Edward like how I think it's gonna help him, then you deserve a little
peace…even if it's only knowin where your next fix comes from."

He furrowed his brows as he took the money and shoved it into his pocket.

As he started to open up the door, I pushed it shut and leaned against it, "Just one
more thing, Tony…I'm a nice guy and all…but if you fuck this up…I will fuck you
up…got it?"

He gulped and nodded vehemently before I opened the door, smiling.

So, yeah, I had Tony lie to Edward. And from the way he had kept saying that it
'wasn't his fault' over and over again, I think I did the right thing. I wish he could
see the truth himself without the lie…but he just ain't there yet. So, this was just one
of those little things that I would take to my grave, and I didn't feel an ounce of
shame for it cuz the truth is…sometimes it's better to believe the lie.

Which led me back to my current situation, on my way to see my mama. I didn't

even have a clue if I'd be able to see her…if she even put me on the list. The last
words she spoke to me resonated in my head and made my stomach twist in knots,
cuz now, they had so much more meaning behind them.

"Because she loved you and I wanted to hurt her! I figured I'd give you back once I
taught her a lesson but the old cunt died and I was stuck with you! Why do you think
I never gave a shit about what happened to you? You are just a reminder of
everything that's fucked up in my life and I'm glad you fucking hurt you little
bastard! I wish one of those fucking pussies I was with just finished you off and then
I'd be done with you forever and finally get my fucking life back!"

Sometimes the things we say, can't be undone. I had no idea what I was lookin
for…what I wanted or even expected from visitin mama…I didn't know if I should tell
her bout Bobbie Sue or just ask her for the truth myself and see if she lied to me. I
had no idea if she would be even remotely happy to see me…or if just one look at me
would piss her off. I didn't know how I would react either. I was walkin into this
thing totally blind and I wouldn't even have my baby boy there as my safety net. I
was gonna have to do this alone…and that thought scared the hell outta me cuz,
other than Edward, mama was the only person in this whole fuckin world who had
the power to break me.

I wasn't sure why I let her have so much power over me, but if I fuckin knew how
to stop that shit, I sure as fuck would.

- 725 -
 But as it was, I just had to have fuckin faith and hope for the best. Faith was a
foreign concept to me but I remembered Eddie once told me what it meant…

He walked me to my English class where I had a huge test that he had helped me
study for. I wasn't feeling at all confident about it but I wanted to do good so that I
could get good enough grades to be in his advanced classes the next year.

I whispered as I stood in the doorway, "I'm gonna fuckin bomb this shit…I can feel
it."

He smiled and whispered, "Have faith, Jay."

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "What the fuck does that even mean, Edward?"

He leaned in and whispered, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the
evidence of things not seen."

I smirked, "Bible verse?"

He laughed and nodded, "Yes. It just means to believe in the things you hope for
but cannot visibly see…such as, your knowledge of the English language. You've
studied hard so hope for the best and leave the rest to faith."

I laughed and rolled my eyes again, "Okay, Eddie…cuz we all know how good I
talk and shit."

He smirked now and whispered, "Good luck, Jay. You'll do fine, I can feel it. I have
faith in you."

I smiled now and let out a breath, "Thanks, Edward."

He winked and turned to leave. I got a 97% on that test.

So what could I have faith in?

I could have faith that me and mama could talk like fuckin grown ups…maybe not.

I could have faith that she would at least tell me the truth…yeah right.

I could have faith I would leave this place better than I am now…not so sure bout
that.

- 726 -
 Fuck…okay, I can have faith that no matter how badly this turns out…no matter if
I come out cryin like a fuckin baby or screamin like a god damn mad man…I could
have faith that Edward would help me through it and love me anyway…yup, I can
have faith in that.

That made me feel a little better as I continued my drive. Then my mind began to
wander to my conversation with Big Daddy C.

"Hey son, are you nervous about today?"

"Yeah, Carlisle…I'm a fu…freakin mess."

He chuckled a little and assured me, "You'll be fine, Jasper. I have faith in you."

Now I see where Edward gets it from.

I scratched my head through my curls as I sighed, "Glad you do cuz I'm not feelin
so confident…"

He sighed, "Son? You know about my situation with my mother. She

was…horrible. And when she died we weren't on speaking terms. I have since made
my peace with it…but I think that's the most difficult thing we can do in our
lives…forgive someone who we feel has wronged us. But without forgiveness, we
can find no peace. I'm not saying you have to forgive your mother today…or next
week…or even five years from now…but one day, you are going to need to forgive
her to finally have peace with your childhood and move on. Forgiving doesn't
require forgetting, son. Gandhi said, 'The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the
attribute of the strong.' Just think about it, okay?"

I sighed and ran my hands along my face, "Yeah, I'll think about it, Carlisle."

"Good. Now what time do you think you should get there?"

I looked over at the clock and ran through it in my head, "Um…probably about 2
or 3."

"Okay then, I'll go so you can get ready to leave. Be safe and call me as soon as
you can. And if Edward starts getting bad at the cemetery, call me or Doc Greene
right away."

I smiled at his concern, "I will. Thanks, Carlisle. And um…I love you."

- 727 -
 "I love you too, son."

Besides Edward, he was the only man I had ever said 'I love you' too. Fuckin
perfect Cullen men…how I loved them fuckers.

I chuckled a little bit to myself as I passed the Illinois border into Indiana.

And as I drove, my mind wandered back to when I was seven years old…

We still lived in Texas at the time, just bounced around from town to town. I was
walkin home from school, tryin to hold back the tears that threatened to break
through. I hated school. Everybody made fun of me cuz we was dirt fuckin poor and
mama had bought my clothes from yard sales and the Goodwill. I had outgrown all
my nice clothes that granny had gotten me.

I was walkin along, kickin at the pebbles on the ground when I heard, "Look, it's
that little faggot, Jasper!"

My head shot up to see a couple of kids from my school standin in front of me.
They were bigger than me and a little older but I held my head up and acted like I
wasn't afraid…but it was an act cuz I was scared as shit.

"Hey, pussy boy! I heard your mama was a two dollar whore down at the strip
club. I think my uncle said that's what he paid for the sloppy ass blow job he got
from her the other night."

My fists tightened as I dropped my book bag, "Don't talk about my mama like that!
She ain't no whore…she's a waitress…"

They started laughin, "Is that what she calls it? I hear she's servin all the men real
good…"

I couldn't help myself as I jumped forward and tried to hit the bastard in the nose.
But I didn't know how to fight so he easily blocked. Before I knew it, I was on the
ground getting the shit kicked outta me.

I just curled up and tried to protect my face as best I could until they were done.
Finally, they ran off and I laid there for a few minutes. My body hurt like hell. My lip
and nose were bleeding, my eye was swelling, and my stomach and back ached so
bad that I wanted to cry.

But I pulled myself up, dusted off the dirt and waited till I got home to cry…I'd be
- 728 -
damned if I let them bastards see me do it.

When I walked in the house, mama was lyin on the couch, half dazed. She
furrowed her brows when she seen me, "God damn it, son! Again?"

I sniffled as the tears started fallin now. I whispered, "I wanna go home, mama…I
hate it here…"

She jumped off the couch and grabbed the half empty bottle on the table. She took
a swig and scowled at me, "Quit bein a god damn pussy, Jasper! Ya know what? Real
life ain't easy and it ain't fair! Ya better start learnin that now cuz it ain't gonna get
no better! I'm sick of seein you comin home all beaten up and shit! Do ya even try to
defend yourself or do ya like bein the neighborhood punchin bag?"

I shook my head and wiped my eyes off with the back of my hand, "I do try,
mama…"

She rolled her eyes and huffed, "Can't believe I have a god damn pussy for a
son…"

Just then her boyfriend of the week walked in the room and started laughin, "Jesus
Christ, Jasper! Are you a little queer boy or what? Every fuckin week you're getting
the shit kicked out of you!"

He came up and smacked me in the back of the head. I winced and tried to keep
more tears from fallin, "I ain't a fuckin pussy! I ain't a god damn queer! I was tryin
to defend you, mama, cuz all the boys were callin you a two bit whore…"

And then the smack came hard across my cheek. I think it was him that smacked
me but it happened so fast I couldn't be sure. My head turned and my eyes stung
with fresh hot tears.

"Don't you ever let me hear you call her that!"

I wasn't callin her that…obviously they misunderstood me or were so fucked up

that they only heard part of what I said.

"Get to your god damn room, Jasper! No fuckin supper tonight! Go straight to
bed!"

I started to protest, "But I got homework…"

- 729 -
 Mama started laughin, "Ain't no amount of homework gonna make you any
smarter, son. Now get to your fuckin room!"

I grabbed my backpack and drug it off to my room. I closed my door and curled up
on my mattress. I cried myself to sleep.

I was awoken by mama in the middle of the night, "C'mon, baby boy…we're
leavin."

I groaned as I pulled myself up. I saw her empty out my backpack and start
shoving my clothes in it.

I rubbed my eyes, "Where we goin, mama?"

She turned to me and I could see the bruises on her face reflecting off the
moonlight pourin in from the window, "I ain't sure yet, baby…we're just gonna get in
the car and see where we end up. It'll be an adventure…fun, I promise. The next
place is gonna be better than this shit hole town, baby boy."

I pulled on my shoes and followed her out to the car. I curled up in the front seat
and she laid her jacket across me. It smelled like whiskey and cigarettes, but it
comforted me. She ran her hand through my curls and sang softly as we took off
down the highway. And I was hopeful that she was telling the truth and the next
place we ended up would be better.

Of course, I soon found out that mama lied a lot.

I ran my hand along my face and groaned as we neared the prison. We were only
about half an hour out now so I pulled out another cigarette and smoked like a
freight train until we got there.

I pulled into the lot and turned off the car. I was nervous as hell but was fuckin
anxious to get this shit over with. I ran my fingers through Edward's soft bronze hair
and spoke quietly, "Hey babe? We're here, sugar. Wake up."

He sighed as the corner of his mouth turned up into a crooked grin and he
reached down and started rubbing himself through his jeans, "Hmm, Jay…let's fuck,
baby…"

I couldn't help the laughter that I tried to hide from breaking through, "Um, babe?
We're in the parking lot at the women's prison. Now I think some of them might like
that but I'm pretty sure they frown on that sorta thing…though, I could be wrong…"
- 730 -
 His eyes flashed open and he jumped up, looking around all sleepy and dazed and
tenting his jeans…my boyfriend fuckin rocked.

"Shit, Jay! I can't believe I fell asleep! I'm so sorry! How are you feeling? Are you
okay?"

He was throwin questions at me a mile per minute and I just chuckled as I

reached over and put my hand on his shoulder, "Calm down, babe. Breathe."

He sucked in a big breath and let it out. His shoulders slumped and he reached up
and laced his fingers with mine, "I'm sorry, Jay."

I just smiled, "Don't be, darlin…I think I needed that before I went in here. You
can always make me laugh."

He just smirked, "So glad I amuse you."

I laughed again, "You really do, Eddie."

He smiled and began rubbing his velvet fingers across the back of my hand,
"Seriously, Jay…are you okay?"

I smiled and sighed, "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm nervous and shit but I'm ready to get this
over with."

He nodded, "Yeah. Wish I could go in with you. I hate that you're going to be alone
for this."

I nodded now, "Yeah, me too…but I'll be alright, darlin."

He smiled brightly, "If it gets bad, just remember that by tomorrow night, we'll be
in Michigan…all alone…for the rest of the summer."

That thought did make me smile, "I can't wait. After all this shit we've done these
last few days, I'm in desperate need of some relaxation with my beautiful boy."

His cheeks turned pink which only made me smile harder.

I leaned over and kissed his cherry lips softly as I whispered, "If I ain't out in an
hour…I got plenty of bail money in the trunk."

He chuckled against my lips as he kissed me back.

- 731 -
 I left Jeremiah's ID with him cuz I figured I'd have to show mine and I didn't
wanna accidentaly get caught with it.

I took a deep breath as I walked up to the window and cleared my throat,

"Um…I'm here to see my mama."

The woman on the other side of the glass sent through a clipboard, "Write her
name and DOC number here. Place your ID in the basket and send it back."

I quickly did what she told me and she sighed as she looked at my ID, "I'm sorry,
sir. You're a minor and you must have a parent or guardian with you when visiting
an inmate."

I groaned…

You gotta be fuckin kiddin me…

Another woman walked up and looked at my ID before speaking with the woman
who held it.

For a minute my heart was racing cuz me and prisons…weren't a good combo in
my opinion.

Then the woman smiled, "Oh, I'm sorry, young man. Your doctor is here waiting
for you. I didn't realize you were the one he was waiting for. Here's your ID…come
on through the metal detector."

Doctor? What the fuck? Is Carlisle here?

My mind was really going wild now as I took my ID and walked through the metal
detector. Then they patted me down and told me to have a seat.

I sat there in the hard plastic chair, anxious as hell and wonderin what the hell
was going on.

A minute later, I got my answer.

"Ah, Mr. Whitlock. I'm so glad you finally made it. I've been waiting for almost an
hour."

I stood up and took his hand in mine with a firm shake as my mind tried to catch
up, "Um…Dr. Greene? Why…what…"
- 732 -
 He smiled, "Come on, visiting hours will be over soon and you only have an hour."

I nodded and fell in step beside him. I whispered, "Doc? What the hell are you
doing here?"

He chuckled softly and whispered back, "They wouldn't let you in without a
parent, guardian…or doctor present. You are my patient and I have legal rights to do
this…well, not exactly legal…I may or may not have forged some documents but
that's neither here nor there…just act natural…"

Now I chuckled softly and whispered, "Okay, Doc…but I want answers when we
leave."

He rolled his eyes and nudged me in my ribs, "Pushy, pushy…"

I really liked the Doc and I was really grateful he was there. He was different than
any other doctor I had ever known…well, he did kinda remind me of Carlisle cuz he
had an awesome sense of humor. Edward had told me about how much he had
helped him when he was in the hospital. And I liked the Doc cuz he always answered
my questions, personal or not he never backed away…he didn't hide shit from me.

The fucker was cool as shit.

He led me into a big room filled with tables. I followed him over to one and sat
down next to him. There were people sitting at the other tables, awaiting their
family as well.

Doc turned and smiled, "Do you want something to drink from the vending
machine?"

My knee was bobbing up and down at a spastic pace and my folded hands on the
table were sweating. I nodded, "Um, yeah…coffee, black…"

He raised an eyebrow as his hand came to my knee and stopped it from bouncing,
"You sure coffee is a good idea right now?"

I smiled sheepishly and nodded, "Yeah…believe it or not it helps calm me down."

He nodded and rose, "Okey dokey, son."

A minute later he sat back down with two cups of coffee. He cleared his throat and
sighed, "There's something I need to tell you, Jasper…please keep an open mind."
- 733 -
 I furrowed my brows as I took a sip of the coffee and mumbled, "What's up, Doc?"

He now played with his coffee cup and whispered, "I thought you should know
that I've been seeing your mother…"

My eyes went wide as I said a little too loudly, "What the fuck! I thought you were
gay! You're married for Christ's sake!"

He rolled his eyes, "Good Lord, son…I meant I've been seeing her as a patient."

I could feel my cheeks burning as people turned and looked at us. I ducked my
head and whispered, "What the hell do you mean?"

He sighed, "Well, after you were gone and Carlisle couldn't reach you, he began
trying to find out where you were. He wrote to your mother to see if she might know
an address. She wrote him back and I guess they had sort of a heart-to-heart about
everything that happened. Anyway, she didn't know the address but she begged
Carlisle for help. So, he spoke with me because I often work with people in
correctional facilities and mental health facilities. I began seeing her last month. I
fly out here twice a month and we have phone conversations every week."

"Why didn't you or Carlisle tell me?"

He whispered, "We spoke about it and decided we should tell you face to face…but
then you told him you were coming here to visit her and so I flew down here. I knew
you wouldn't be able to get in without me and I wanted to have the opportunity to
tell you. I hope you're not too upset."

I shook my head feeling completely dazed and confused, "Um, no…I'm not
mad…just…this is just weird, I guess."

He nodded, "When we're done here, I'd like to take you and Edward out for
dinner…have a talk about everything that's happened these past few days to see
where your heads are at. I can explain everything in further detail then, if you like."

I nodded, "Yeah, that'd be good."

I turned my attention back now as the room started filling in with women in
orange jumpsuits. I saw mama walking slowly towards the table, eyes on the floor
and clasping her hands together in front of her.

Slowly she approached and when she finally raised her eyes to mine…I was
- 734 -
mesmerized.

Her blue eyes were bright and wide, completely clear and glossy…no clouded over
haze or redness. She wore no make up and although the rough life she had was
evident on her face in the form of soft wrinkles around her eyes…I had never seen
her look more beautiful.

She twisted the ends of her long golden locks around her finger as she eyed me
nervously. I noticed that without the dolled up hair, trashy clothes, and caked on
make up…mama looked very much like a frightened young girl.

I was unable to move or speak.

Finally, the Doc stood and held out his hand, "Good to see you again, Linda. You're
looking lovely as ever."

She blushed as she took his hand and gazed at the floor again as she spoke
humbly, "Thanks Doc…but I know I look a right mess…"

I shook my head and found my voice, "No, mama…you look…beautiful."

Her eyes shot up and found mine. She released the Doc's hand and just stared at
me for a moment. I watched as her eyes got wetter and glossier, only adding to the
brilliant crystal blue.

She let out a sob and just threw herself into my arms. This was the first time I had
ever seen my mama cry. And for the first time in my life, I felt like the powerful one.
I towered above her now and she seemed so small and fragile in my arms…much
different than the hard ass bitch I knew.

She clutched onto me tight as she gasped through ragged sobs, "I'm so sorry,
son…I didn't mean none of them horrible things I said…I was so wrong…so messed
up…I was a monster…you didn't deserve any of it…please forgive me, baby
boy…please tell me you still love me…please…you're all I got…please forgive me…"

I wasn't sure what to do. I hated that I loved her. I hated that I ached to forgive
her. But I just couldn't do it. Too much had been done…said…I couldn't let that shit
go so easy. The cold hard truth was that I didn't trust her.

A guard walked by and tapped her shoulder, "Enough, have a seat."

She pulled away reluctantly and nodded as she wiped at her eyes. I looked at the
- 735 -
Doc confused and he handed her a tissue, "You're only allowed to touch at the
beginning and end of the visit, other than holding hands."

I nodded and sat down across from her. Her hands were on the table, twisting the
tissue to pieces and shaking. I sighed as I reached my hand out and laid it palm up
on the table. Slowly, both of her hands crept across and gripped onto it.

She smiled as she sniffled, "Thank you, son."

I just nodded, still unsure of what the hell I was doing.

The silence was deafening and uncomfortable…the sounds of the room fading into
nothingness but the silent figures at this table.

The Doc cleared his throat, "Jasper, if you would like some privacy, I can go and
wait in one of the chairs by the wall."

I shook my head and whispered, "Please don't leave."

He nodded and whispered, "She asked you for forgiveness…this is your chance,
son…whatever you want to say, say it now."

I took a moment and steeled myself so that I didn't break down. Finally, mustering
up enough courage, I raised my eyes to hers and just began talking, "Mama…my
whole life you've been mean to me. You've never acted like you loved me, hell, you
never even acted like you liked me. You let every man you were with hurt me. You
never protected me…never comforted me…you relished every bit of pain I suffered.
You called me names…shattered every bit of confidence I had. When you took me
away…I wasn't like I am now. I wasn't mean…I wasn't distrustful of every fuckin
thing around me…I was a happy kid. You single handedly…destroyed me."

She was sobbing again but I couldn't stop myself from continuing, "You just didn't
care about what happened to me. You're the first person I ever did drugs with. You
knew all the stuff your boyfriends were teachin me…how to rob, steal, sell
drugs…it's like you wanted me to be fucked up. Well, mama, you succeeded cuz I
am…I'm all fucked up. But I'm tryin real fuckin hard to put myself back together…do
you remember what you told me when I got locked up for six months in Boys
School?"

She shook her head through wracking sobs.

I let go of her hand now as my anger started coming forefront, pushin everything
- 736 -
else back down.

"I was only twelve years old and I was fuckin scared, mama. When I cried, you
called me a pussy. When I asked if you was gonna come visit me…you told me to be
a man and fuckin deal with it. So, I gotta ask, mama…why the hell should I sit here
and listen to anything you gotta say? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just
walk out that door and never fuckin look back?"

She looked down at the table, focusing on her clasped hands. After a moment of
silence she lifted her head and looked into my eyes, "There ain't no good reason,
son. Truth is…you should just walk away. You deserve better than anything I can
give ya. I know that the damage I've done to you…can't ever be undone. So, go
ahead, baby boy…walk away…try to make your life better…try and find some
happiness. I'm sorry for everythin and I promise I won't try and contact you…I'll let
you go."

She pushed away from the table and my anger boiled over as the tears started
falling from my eyes now, "God damn it, mama! Won't you fuckin fight for me? Just
once in your god damn life…please, fuckin fight for me! Why the fuck is it so easy
for you to just walk away from me all the god damn time? Ain't you ever loved me?"

That familiar scowl came across her face as her eyes narrowed and she leaned
over the table towards me, whispering harshly, "You think that was easy for me? You
have no fuckin clue the hell I've went through for you…and you ain't ever had a nice
thing to say to me! That bitch stole you from me! When you was a baby, you looked
at me like I was the most beautiful, important thing in the whole world! When she
was done with you, you couldn't look at me with anything but hate! The very first
time I heard you talk, you told me you hated me! Do you h-have…any idea…"

I watched as her hands went to cover her face now and she sobbed relentlessly
once again, "Do you have any idea…how bad it hurts…to love somebody so
much…and have them just hate you?"

The guard walked over, "Sit back down and keep it quiet or the visit's over."

She dropped to her chair, still sobbing and I nodded, "Yeah, we'll keep it down."

Once he turned and walked away, the Doc spoke, "Both of you need to keep your
emotions in check if you wish for this to continue."

We both wiped away at our eyes and put on our tough exterior. I finally realized
that mama was good at acting too cuz in a matter of minutes, the broken little girl
- 737 -
was replaced with a strong, feral woman.

I decided that I didn't wanna tell mama I knew what happened…I wanted to see if
she'd tell me the truth.

"Mama? What are you talkin about?"

She huffed and crossed her arms, "You don't know anything, son. You don't know
that the first time I left, it wasn't cuz I upped and walked away. Your precious
granny…she threw me out. I didn't wanna leave you. You was all I had. I didn't walk
away…I was forced."

I sighed and leaned onto the table with my elbows, "You're right, mama. I don't
know nothin but what you tell me. So, tell me everythin."

She laughed humorlessly and muttered, "I only got an hour, son…ain't enough
time for everythin."

Then she huffed and mimicked my position, leaning onto the table and staring
directly into my eyes, "I'm gonna keep this short, Jasper cuz I don't got much time
left with you."

I nodded and she took a breath, "I had a baby brother…you were named after him.
I loved that boy so much and he loved me…followed me everywhere. But he was
mama and daddy's pride and joy. Anyway, there was an accident and he passed
away. They blamed me for it. Not a day went by that they didn't make sure I was
punished severely cuz of it. Shortly after I got pregnant with you, daddy died. Me
and your daddy was married right 'fore you was born and he had to leave for the
Marines…he didn't wanna leave us but he didn't have much choice at the time. You
and me had no choice but to stay at home with mama."

I was surprised that she was telling me the truth so far…it was a watered down
version but I understood why she left out the details she did.

She continued on but the strength in her voice was fading, "Mama was crazy
jealous of me and you. You was my baby boy…I carried you 'round all the time. You
cried whenever anyone else would come near you. And I loved that you loved me so
good. The way you looked at me…just made me feel…like it didn't matter what no
one else thought of me…as long as you loved me, I was happy. You'd fall asleep
every night with your little head on my chest, listenin to my heart and I would play
with your little honey curls and sing to ya. I never really knew what lovin somebody
was till I held you in my arms…I never really understood what it felt like to be loved
- 738 -
back until you looked at me. We was perfect, me and you."

Her voice was soft now and her eyes still glistened with a far away look in them.
She wiped away the wetness underneath and took a breath, "Me and mama used to
fight all the time cuz she said I was spoilin you…coddlin ya too much. I'd tell her
that ya can't love a baby too much. Like I said, she was just jealous. So, during one
of our fights, she told me to get out. And so I grabbed what little I had and grabbed
you…but she snatched you from my arms and said you wasn't goin nowhere. That
she was gonna raise you. That I owed her since I got her baby killed. I tried to get ya
back but she wouldn't let go. You let out a scream and I knew we was hurtin you…"

She looked down at her lap now and her folded up hands as she whispered, "When
I was a little girl, I remembered a story from church bout two women fightin over a
child. They was both tuggin at him, clamin to be his mama…but in the end, his real
mama let go cuz she couldn't bear the thought of hurtin her baby…so that's what I
did, I let go. I wanted to take you with me so bad…but I knew I couldn't take care of
you. I was only fifteen, no schoolin, no money…I couldn't even buy your diapers. So,
I left. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I regret it every day of my life."

I reached out my hand again and whispered, "I didn't know, mama…"

She nodded and forced a tight smile as she placed her hand in mine, "I know,
son."

I was curious now about what happened after that so I asked.

She took another breath and kept her eyes focused on our hands, "When I left, I
had nothing. A friend of mine let me stay with her but she had to sneak me in cuz
her mama thought I was no good. Without you…I was so empty…hollow. I woulda
done anything to just not ache the way I was. I met this boy and he introduced me to
coke. It sorta helped to make me…not ache so bad anymore. He put me up in his
apartment and got me a job as a waitress. It didn't take long until I couldn't get
through a day without getting high…it just hurt too much. He was older than me and
I remember how he used to hit me all the time. So, I just figured that's what men
did, y'know…when ya got outta line, they hit you. That's what I had grown up with
so it was natural to me."

My brows furrowed cuz that's one thing that pissed me the fuck off…I hated when
pussy ass men felt like they could put their hands on a woman.

"Mama, you know that's not true, right? I would never dream of hittin a girl no
matter what she did to me."
- 739 -
 She nodded sheepishly, "I'm figurin it out, son. Ya gotta remember I was only
fifteen…younger than you are now. I was just a kid myself. So, anyway, time went on
and I ended up getting kicked out of his place but I soon found another guy to take
me in. That's how it went for awhile. Time just got away from me…being high will
make you lose years fast. So, I turned 18. I was old enough to become a dancer
now…that's what the man I was with told me I should do cuz I could make enough
money to take care of you. So, I did. Problem was that I was also a junkie with a big
habit that soaked up most my money. I went to mama and begged her for help. You
was hidin behind her legs when you seen me. I tried to get ya to come to me…give
me a hug…but you looked at me with so much anger and said that you hated me…I
weren't no good and to leave you alone. Mama wouldn't help me and I was crushed
so I left again."

I squeezed her hand and whispered, "I'm sorry, mama."

She just shook her head, "Don't be…wasn't your fault, baby…she brain washed
you. Anyway, I continued doin what I was doin but then I found out your daddy was
comin home. He had written a letter that a friend of mine had gotten so she tracked
me down and made sure I got it. He said he was gonna come home and help me get
clean, he knew what I had been doin but he wanted me anyway. He said he was
gonna get us a place to live and we could be a real family. That's what I had always
wanted but when the time came…I was…scared. All my life, people had told me that
I was no good and I believed them. I wasn't no good. I was hooked bad on coke and
drinkin…the thought of bein clean scared the shit out of me. The thought of bein
with your daddy, who was way too good for me, scared me. And the thought of you
hatin me…terrified me."

"So, I ran again. When I finally came and got you that night…I was so bad on
drugs that I barely even remember doin it. I'll admit that I did wanna hurt my mama.
I wanted her to suffer for what she had put me through. I wanted her to agonize for
you the way I had. But, deep down, I just wanted my baby boy back. But I was too
fucked up to treat you good and you just didn't love me anymore. Most of the shit
that I let happen, or I said to you was cuz I was so fucked up all the time and so
angry at everything. I couldn't believe that mama had turned you against me and it
killed me. But it wasn't your fault and I took it out on you anyway. And when you
started getting beat up all the time, it scared the shit outta me cuz you was such a
sweet boy…I was scared that this world was gonna chew you up and spit you out.
Life ain't easy and life ain't fair, son…I just wanted you to be tougher than I was so it
wouldn't hurt you the way it did me. Fucked up logic, I know, but like I said, I was so
messed up and I never really grew up at all."

Mama had told me the truth…I'll be damned. I was a little shocked.

- 740 -
 "Mama, I really…I don't know what to say…I know it wasn't my fault that granny
had taught me to call you those names and to treat you so bad, but I'm sorry
anyway. Maybe if I would've treated you better…"

She cut me off, "No, don't you dare take any of the blame on your shoulders, son.
You was a baby…ain't none of this your fault. I should've been workin hard to
change how you felt about me and prove mama wrong but instead I let my anger get
the best of me. I was hideous…I'm so ashamed for all them things I said to you. I'm
ashamed for letting those worthless bastards hurt you. I'm ashamed for never bein
strong enough to be the mama you needed. I know you don't even really need a
mama no more, you're practically a grown man…but if you'd let me…I'd really like to
try harder…I'll do better this time, I swear."

I nodded, "Yeah, mama…maybe we can try and work some things out. Maybe
when I get settled at the end of the summer, we can write each other. Maybe I'll get
a phone and we could talk every now and then. Maybe…"

She nodded and wiped at her eyes with a soft smile, "Maybe's more than I
deserve, so I'll take it."

I smiled back and just held her hand for a minute.

She squeezed my hand and sighed, "So, I s'pose a normal mama would ask how
you're doin? O'course, she probably wouldn't be wearin an orange jumpsuit when
she did it, but we Whitlock's ain't ever been 100% normal."

I chuckled a little, "That's the truth, mama. I'm doin…good, actually. I'm spending
the summer with Edward."

She raised an eyebrow with a mischievous smirk, "Edward, huh? You guys still
together?"

I furrowed my brows and looked at the Doc, "You told her bout me and Eddie?"

He shook his head, "Of course not…"

Mama started laughing, "Please, son…the Doc ain't told me nothin and neither did
Carlisle. I've known you were in love with that boy since you was 13."

Now I was really shocked, "What? How did…"

She smiled, "Honey, I've known you were gay since you was ten years old. Or I
- 741 -
knew you liked boys too at least. I paid more attention than you think. You was
always different with boys. You was always real protective when you made a
friend…especially with the little geeky boys. I remember your teacher telling me
once that the boys who was picked on and bullied loved you cuz you bullied their
bullies. You've just always had that protective nature about you. And when you
brought Edward home…and he bout cussed me out over you…I remember the way
you was lookin at him. You looked at him like you used to look at me…your eyes
were just filled with love and respect and happiness. I knew it then…I guess that's
why I was so jealous of him and tried to break you away from his family. I'm glad
you didn't listen to me…they're real good people and Edward's a good boy. You
deserve someone who treats you right."

My mind was racing. Mama knew I was gay…and she didn't seem to care.

I leaned over and whispered, "So, you don't care that I'm…y'know…gay?"

She smiled and whispered, "I don't care what you are, baby boy…I love you and
that ain't ever gonna change. I'm just so sorry I couldn't be there for you when you
was figurin it out…I coulda helped you. I knew you was havin a hard time, I could
see it in your eyes…but I was so fucked up and mad as hell all the time that I
couldn't do nothing but make things worse for you. I'm really sorry, sugar."

I nodded, still kinda taken aback, "Yeah, mama…thanks."

She rolled her eyes and laughed, "So? Ya gonna tell bout him or not? I never gotta
know him very much…what's he like?"

I couldn't help the wide dimpled grin that came to my face now or the slight blush
that tinged my cheeks, "He's wonderful, mama. He's always so good to me. He
knows what I'm thinkin without me havin to say a word and he always helps me
when I'm losin it…he's perfect. And he's…he's…"

I felt all the air leave my chest and my cheeks were on fire as I breathed out, "he's
so fuckin beautiful. I don't deserve him…"

She narrowed her eyes and leaned across the table, "Hey! You're beautiful too,
baby. And learn from me, baby boy…don't waste no time thinkin that you don't
deserve him or that he's too good for ya just cuz he comes from money. That's
bullshit. I bet he feels the same way bout you. I bet you protect him and fight for
him…I bet you're his whole world. If he's any bit as smart as his daddy, he knows
that there ain't no better man in the world than you."

- 742 -
 I smiled, "Yeah? Maybe you're right."

She smiled and then started chewing her lip, "So, um…how's your daddy doin?
Carlisle told me bout what happened."

I shrugged, "He's pretty much the same. Drinks all the time, we fight all the
time…he's on the road a lot though so I was grateful for that."

She sighed as she frowned, "I hate that he's fallen apart so bad. Your daddy…he
used to be such a good guy. Reminded me a lot of you when you was little. He was
funny and sweet…he used to play the guitar in a band. He was incredible to watch.
He was always happy…smiling. The Marines sure changed him a whole lot…guess I
did too. I just could never love him the way he loved me. I hope he finds some
happiness one day. I woulda loved for you to know your daddy 'fore all this shit
happened. He was like a different man."

That threw me for a loop cuz daddy was an asshole. I couldn't imagine him bein
any of those things mama said.

We talked a little while longer until our hour was finally up. She gave the Doc a
hug and then held onto me until one of the guards told her to let go. I promised to
write and she promised to answer me back. She said she would check in with
Carlisle every few weeks to make sure I was okay.

Doc smiled as we were leaving the building, "I think she's made excellent
progress, Jasper. I think you have too. So, are you hungry? I'd still like to take you
and Edward to dinner tonight."

He laughed now, "He's going to shit when he sees me!"

I laughed too, "Yeah, I'm sure he's gonna be surprised. I can't believe you came
here."

He smiled, "I'm your doctor, son, but I'm also a friend. Carlisle and I have been
friends for years and I consider his children, mine. I will always come anywhere you
need me to be. All you have to do is ask."

I smiled back, "Thanks, Doc."

And as we started walking to the parking lot, I couldn't wait to tell Edward about
everything that happened between mama and me. I felt like a big weight had come
up off of my shoulders. I felt lighter…freer.
- 743 -
 Mama still had three years left to serve so I was hopeful that maybe we could start
to fix things between us…maybe.

- 744 -
 Chapter 36

Okay, so my girl, Mattie Hale, started a twilighted thread for our boys…so
now ya'll have a place to go to discuss things or whatever…I will be stopping
by it and addressing any questions you might have…also, I try to answer
some questions in the next chapter of my story (for example, some of you
didn't understand how Jay's mom knew he was gay but never called him on
it…that will be answered in this chapter)

So thanks, Mattie, you fuckin rock! Here's the thread and I have added it
to my profile as well.

www(dot)twilighted(dot)net(slash)forum(slash)viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9
952&p=1019221p1019221

Play list - I Want Some More by Dan Auerbach (towards the end of the
chapter, I think you'll know when ;) play list is on my you tube…as always

Eddie's POV

Waiting, in general, sucks. Waiting for him to come back to me from something
that could completely destroy him, is agonizing. I tried just turning on some music
and lying back in the seat. I tried losing myself to the words and the rhythm. I tried.

But nothing worked.

My mind was racing with all of the different scenarios that could happen, none of
them good. One thing was certain…

If that evil bitch hurts my man again…I will rip her fucking head off!

I glanced at the clock…

15 minutes! Are you shitting me?

I still had quite a while to wait and the worrying was killing me. So, I decided to
call Em and get things set up for tomorrow. I couldn't wait to have Jay all to myself
with nowhere to go and nothing to do…besides each other.

- 745 -
 I could feel myself twitch at the thought and figured I'd better call Em fast
because sitting in the women's prison parking lot with a stiffy was…awkward.

A lowly, "Hello?" answered.

I smiled when I heard him, "Hey Tommy! How's it going, man?"

His voice picked up and I could hear the smile in it, "Um, okay I guess. How are
you, Edward?"

"I'm great. Jay and I are on our way to Michigan. We should be there by
tomorrow."

He let out a breath, "Oh. That's great, Edward. So, um…things are okay with you
guys? I mean, everything's cool then?"

I smiled as I laid back in the seat and gushed about my boyfriend, "Yeah, it's
fantastic. If possible, he's gotten even more beautiful. He has this cool tattoo on his
back of angel wings…and he got it just for me. Isn't that amazing? And, damn,
Tommy…his tongue is pierced! It feels even more incredible when he…"

"Ugh! Stop, man, stop! I don't need details!"

I laughed and turned a bit red on my over board summation, "Um, sorry about
that."

He sighed, "It's okay. I'm happy for you, Edward. I really am…it's just that…"

He trailed off and I began worrying about him. Tommy and I had become quite
close in the hospital. I could tell when something was bothering him. I hoped he
wasn't having nightmares again or that his asshole parents hadn't done something
stupid.

"What is it, Tommy? You can tell me anything, you know that."

He cleared his throat and spoke quietly, "It's nothing, man. I just…kinda miss you,
that's all. It was nice having you around to talk to. I just don't feel real comfortable
talking to Em about, uh, personal stuff, y'know?"

"Well, I miss you guys too, Tommy. But you know you can call me if you ever need
someone to talk to. So, what's going on? Why do you sound so down?"

- 746 -
 He took a deep breath and let it all out, "Well, I was thinking…shit, here comes
Em and Brady…I'll talk to you about it later, okay? And, um, I'm glad you're happy,
Edward. Here's Em…"

I started to say something when I heard him yell and tell Em I was on the phone.

I heard some rustling and laughing before hearing a breathless Brady on the
phone laughing, "Edward fucking Cullen! Ya know, it sure is a lot less pretty around
here without you and Jay!"

I laughed back, "Oh, I'm sure you're keeping Forks pretty enough all on your own,
Brady."

"Well, that is true. So, what state are you making better looking today, Eddie
boy?"

I shook my head as I chuckled, "Um, Indiana. We should be in Michigan by

tomorrow evening."

He practically squealed…God he was turning into such a queen…

"Oh my god! Em, we need to go down there and party with the boys! Seriously!
Why didn't we think of this before?"

I laughed, "Um, when do you think you'll be coming?"

Please let them hold off awhile so I can have alone time with Jay?

"Relax, lover boy. We'll wait until the last few weeks or so. Wouldn't want you to
have to share your time with your cowboy and his cock. Seriously though, wouldn't it
be fun to have the whole gang hanging out again? We miss you guys."

I smiled, "We miss you too. It sounds great, man. I'm sure Jay would love to see
you…"

He interrupted with a laugh, "Besides…half naked boys frolicking on the beach

sounds like my kind of vacation!"

I burst out laughing, "Frolicking, Brady? Jesus, I really do miss you guys. But what
about you and Tommy? I thought you were going to go on a date, the last I heard."

He chuckled, "Oh we did, Edward…total disaster. We're much better as

- 747 -
friends…with benefits."

I heard Tommy yell in the background, 'Jesus, Brady! Don't tell him that!"

Brady just huffed, "It's only, Edward, for crying out loud! Have you taken your
nerve pill today? You're edgy!"

I heard Tommy muttering in the background but couldn't make anything out.

Brady just sighed, "I don't know what's with him lately. He was doing really well
for awhile but these last few days…ugh, never mind…anyway…how are things with
you and Jay going? Give me all the dirty details…"

I made a mental note to talk to Tommy later about whatever was going on with
him. Lord knows he listened to me go on for hours while we were locked up
together.

But for now, I rejoiced in having someone to share all the new intricacies of my
love life. So, I did. I told him everything and it was wonderful to talk about it.

He let out a lazy sigh, "Wow…I hope I have what you have someday."

I smiled, "You will, Brady."

"Oh good! So you'll share Jay then?"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "Not a chance in Hell, man."

He laughed, "Well, in the meantime, if you ever need someone to hold the video
camera while you two go at it…I'm your man."

I just giggled and shook my head, "I'll keep that in mind, Brady."

He sighed, "Okay, Em looks like he might puke so I better let him talk to you. Take
care, Edward. Tell Jay I said hi and see you guys soon."

"You too, Brady. See you soon."

I heard the phone rustle again and heard Em's loud voice, "Eddie! How ya doing,
man? No fine details though, dude."

I laughed, "I'm really good, Em. How are you and Rose?"
- 748 -
 "Great, man. I love that mean ass bitch. So, dude, you guys close to Michigan yet,
or what?"

"Yep, we should be there tomorrow."

"Cool, Eddie. I'll overnight the keys and the security info to the local post office.
You've still got the address and everything, right?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks again, Em, for letting us use the cabin. It's really very nice of
you."

"Shit, dude, no problem. You guys can have the run of the place. The liquor
cabinets are stocked and dad has someone come out to clean the pool and stuff. I
told him I was staying there for the summer with Rosie and some friends so they
know that people will be there. So, ya want us to come out in a few weeks?"

I smiled, "Definitely! Bring the whole gang if you can. Jay misses you all a lot."

He sighed, "Yeah, we do too. It's not been the same without him…or you. You were
always so busy that last month after you got out of the hospital that we haven't seen
much of you either."

I heard Brady yell in the background, 'We haven't seen much of you, Eddie! I'll
start with the front half!'

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Jeez! He's becoming such a perv!"

Emmett's loud laugh boomed again, "Fuck, man! It's the McCarty kiss…turns 'em
into sex fiends every time!"

I laughed as I heard them going at each other.

Finally, I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Jay walking up with…Dr.
Greene?

"Um, hey Jay's coming so we'll call you back in a little while, okay?"

"Okay, dude. Later, Eddie."

"Later, Em."

I ended the call and jumped out of the car just in time to see Jay's beautiful
- 749 -
dimpled smile as he saw me.

It went well…thank God.

I was so thankful and so relieved that I couldn't stop myself from running up and
just launching myself into his arms. He wrapped his arms around me and laughed as
I squeezed his neck and pressed soft kisses all over his happy face.

I finally took his lips to mine and kissed him deeply enough that I didn't even care
that the Doc was standing there watching us.

Finally, I pulled away from his honey lips and whispered, "Went well then?"

He nodded, "Yeah, Eddie. It went a hell of a lot better than I ever expected it too.
And look what I found."

I smiled as he motioned over to the Doc who stood there with his arms folded and
an amused look on his face.

I held out my fist to him and laughed, "Hey Doc. Does Jonathan know that you
hang around the women's prison?"

He smirked as he bumped my fist, "Hello Edward…yes he does and he encourages

my behavior."

Jay wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around his waist
as we faced the Doc.

"So, seriously, what's going on? Why are you here?"

He smiled, "I felt Jasper could use some emotional support for this visit. And I've
been counseling Linda for the past month or so."

I furrowed my brows, "Really? Why?"

He leaned against my car and pulled out a cigarette. I knew he smoked, he had
done so several times when we spoke in the outside area of the hospital.

He took a drag and then proceeded to tell me about how my dad had contacted
her and then he went to the Doc for some help. The Doc initially had another doctor
speak with her but he wasn't having any luck in getting her to open up. And he
figured that having Jay's doctor speak to her might be beneficial. Once Linda found
- 750 -
out that Doc Greene spoke with Jasper, she started opening up to him.

He wouldn't give us any details but he said that she had been doing very well
these last few weeks and he was hopeful that he could get another doctor to take
over her therapy in a month or two.

He asked if he could take us out to dinner before he had to catch his flight back
home in a few hours. We hopped in my car and followed him to a small restaurant
not far from the prison. Jay told me that he'd tell me all about his visit with his mom
later when we had more alone time but that he was hopeful yet still somewhat
guarded because of his trust issues.

Doc watched as I grabbed Jay's hand and followed them into the restaurant with a
smug smile on his face. I slid in a booth next to Jay and the Doc sat across the table
from us.

The Doc smirked at me, "So, I see that you're doing much better with public
affection."

I smirked right back as I pulled mine and Jay's laced fingers up on the table,
"Much better."

Jasper laughed and leaned over to softly brush his lips on mine as he whispered,
"Mmm…love you, Eddie."

I sighed dreamily and whispered, "Love you too, Jay."

Doc rolled his eyes and laughed, "Okay, okay you two…geez…so, Edward, back in
the hospital we spoke quite a bit about your fears of being public in your
relationship. Can you tell me what changed?"

I could feel my cheeks burning as I squeezed Jay's hand and smiled, "Um…I guess
that the fear of not being able to touch him and tell him how much I love him scares
me more. And, I'm not really frightened anymore of what other people think…they
just don't matter."

He folded his hands on the table and raised and eyebrow, "That's wonderful,
Edward but fear is a very powerful emotion…I'm amazed that you've let it go so
easily."

I shook my head, "It wasn't easy, Doc. I'm still very aware of the looks and the
whispers of people around me who don't approve but…I think that love trumps fear
- 751 -
any day."

Jasper smiled at me and I smiled back.

We spent quite a while talking about the past few days and everything we had
been experiencing. I told the Doc all about Uncle Tony and he was very pleased that
I didn't totally freak out when I saw him. I admitted that it freaked me out a lot more
than I let on but that I was okay and dealing with it. The initial shock of seeing him
had worn off slightly and I was just thankful that I finally got some answers about
my past. I wished that I could've known more but the Doc reassured me that I had
enough information to put all the pieces together and begin to move on.

And I was really finally ready to do that.

We also spent some time talking about Jay's visit with his mom. I was surprised
that she had responded so positively with him. Doc had told us that her being sober
had a lot to do with that. Jay said that he wanted to make an effort to fix things with
his mom but he would only meet her half way…he wouldn't make the leap by himself
only to fall flat on his face at the end.

He had serious trust issues with her and I couldn't blame him. I wondered if they
might become even worse because of the lies his grandmother told as well, but I
guess only time would tell. At least he trusted me and a handful of others, which I
thought was a great testament to how much he had grown.

Eventually, the serious conversation wore down and the Doc smiled over his
chicken sandwich and fries, "Okay, so off the record…what kind of things are you
boys planning on doing once you reach Michigan?"

I don't plan on leaving the bedroom…

My face started to burn as images of day and night long lovemaking sessions
entered my thoughts and I had to look down at my plate, "Um…I don't
know…just…stuff."

Jasper started laughing and threw his arm around my shoulder, "Well, Doc, to be
honest…we probably won't leave the bedroom for the first couple of days…"

My head shot up and I stared at him with wide eyes as my face burned even
hotter, "Jay!"

He just chuckled and smiled, "What? You know you were thinkin the same thing as
- 752 -
me, Eddie."

The Doc just raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Jasper? You do know that Carlisle is
one of my best friends, right? I tell him everything that's off the record."

Now I chuckled as Jay's face turned red and he muttered, "I was only kiddin."

Trying to think quickly to change the subject, I asked, "So, um, Doc…how do you
and dad know each other?"

I watched as his face turned a little darker pink and he mumbled, "Well, um, we
met in college."

Jasper must've noticed too and he looked at him curiously, "Spill, Doc. Give us the
whole story."

He let out an exasperated sigh and smiled slightly, "Fine, fine…I met Carlisle
when we were both in college back in Chicago. He introduced Jonathan and me.
Anyway, I worked part time at a diner as a waiter to help pay my expenses. I had
only received a partial scholarship and I had to bust my ass to make ends meet…"

Ever the curious one, Jay furrowed his brows, "Your parents wouldn't help you?"

Doc sighed and shook his head, "Afraid not. I haven't spoken to my parents since I
was fifteen years old. They were very conservative and once they caught me making
out with William Byers in the tool shed , they kicked me out of the house. I lived
from pillar to post with friends and such while I finished school. I tried once to
contact them about fifteen years ago but they wish to pretend that I never existed
and I'm content letting them think that."

I looked at the Doc now with his small frown on his face and sighed, "I'm really
sorry, Doc."

He just gave me a half smile, "It's okay, Edward. I've worked past it. By the way,
you can call me Adam when we're off the record."

Jasper smiled, "I always wondered what your real name was."

Adam laughed now, "I'm surprised you never asked."

Jasper just smirked, "Funny. Now, c'mon, Adam…tell us how you met Carlisle and
about how you and Jon met."
- 753 -
 "Pushy, pushy…anyway, like I said, I worked at the diner most every night.
Carlisle began coming in night after night and ordered nothing but coffee. He was
always alone and always looked so sad...he never spoke other than to order his
drink. I thought he was very handsome and sort of began crushing on him."

Now Jay and I both laughed.

Adam threw his napkin at us, "Shut it, you two. Carlisle is a very handsome
man…"

Jasper laughed as he shoved some fries in his mouth, "I'll agree with you on that
one, Doc…Big Daddy C's a total hottie…"

I groaned, "Ugh! Stop talking about my dad!"

They were both laughing now and Jay shrugged, "Sorry, man, but Carlisle is a
total DILF."

I was getting all flustered now as I threw up my hands, "What the hell is a DILF?"

Jasper laughed even harder as he smiled at me, "Daddy I'd like to fu…"

I covered my ears tightly with my hands and squeezed my eyes shut, "I can't hear
you! La la la la la…"

A moment later, my hands were being pulled away and I snapped my eyes open to
see Jasper smiling at me, "Sorry, Eddie…I don't really wanna fuck anyone but you,
babe."

I folded my arms and looked away as I muttered, "I cannot believe you just said
you wanted to…do that…with my dad!"

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him while I resisted as best I
could. He whispered in my ear, "Baby boy, you know I don't want anyone but you.
You're all I'll ever want. Forever, sugar. I was just teasin you, Eddie. I'm sorry,
please don't be mad."

Stupid Jasper and his stupid sweet honey voice that melts away all the anger I
feel…

I sighed as I tried my best to make my most angry face at him, "You're an asshole,
you know that, right?"
- 754 -
 He smiled, "I know I am, darlin. But you love me anyway."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the crooked grin that started to pull at my lips,
"Yeah, I do…Dick."

He winked at me, "You just can't keep my dick off your mind, huh, babe?"

"Am I invisible? Grown man sitting right across from you."

I lifted my eyes from my Jasper lust-induced haze and looked at the Doc, "Um,
sorry Doc...uh, Adam. Go ahead with your story please."

Adam smiled and mumbled, "Carlisle's going to have his hands full with you
two…okay, so I was crushing on Carlisle a bit and eventually worked up the nerve to
ask if I could sit with him after my shift let off. Of course, he was gracious and said
yes. We talked a little and found out that we went to the same university. He was a
sophomore and I was a freshman. I even got the balls to ask him out…"

I laughed a little and Jasper just pulled me closer to his side and smiled at me.

"He was a total sweetheart and told me that he was in love with a beautiful
woman but she had broken up with him before he left for college. He was still
hopeful that she would come back to him though. So, we started talking every night
and became good friends."

Jasper spoke up, "So, how'd he introduce you to your husband?"

Adam smiled and even blushed a little, "About a month after we started talking, he
began bringing Jon in with him every so often. He was gorgeous…dirty blonde hair
and chocolate eyes. I could barely speak when he was near. They belonged to the
same fraternity and had known each other for years. Both of their families were very
wealthy and they grew up in the same social circle. Jonathan was always very sweet
and kind of shy…very different from me. Carlisle told me that I should ask him out
but I just…couldn't. I was still undecided in school at that point and had no idea of
what I wanted to do in my life. I had a mountain of debt already and had a horrible
job as a waiter in a shitty diner. I had trust and intimacy issues. I had absolutely
nothing to offer him."

I smiled now and leaned forward with my elbow on the table, "So, what
happened?"

He smiled deeply and I could see the affection in his eyes as he spoke about
- 755 -
Jonathan.

"Your dad invited me to a party at their frat house one night. We were all…well
hell, we were all completely wasted. From what Jonathan told me, he had been
telling Carlisle all night how badly he wanted to kiss me but he was afraid of how I'd
react…afraid of how his frat brothers would react to him kissing another man…they
all knew he was gay, in fact, there was another gay boy in the house too. But he was
just too shy and scared to do it."

Now a realization dawned on me and I laughed, "So, dad kissed the other boy so
that Jonathan wouldn't be afraid to kiss you."

He nodded and laughed, "Yes, he did. It was absolutely amazing and completely
hilarious. The guys were taking pictures and teased him about it relentlessly but you
know your father, he just took it with a good hearted laugh and a smile. So, anyway,
Jonathan and I were laughing along when he turned to me and time just seemed to
stand still as I saw the laughter in his eyes change to desire. He leaned forward so
slowly that I thought I might just burst. Then he brushed his lips against mine and…I
was finally home. We've been together ever since."

I sighed dreamily and Jasper smiled, "That's kinda fuckin beautiful, Doc."

He smiled and nodded, "It really is pretty fucking beautiful, Jay. Things haven't
always been easy for us. School was stressful and life after school hasn't always
been peaches and cream but we make it work. He's a pretty powerful attorney and
with my work, we don't see each other for days at a time sometimes…but we always
find our way home."

And I found myself anxious at the exciting prospect of becoming Jay's husband
someday. I figured, if we could make it through high school together, then we
should be able to overcome anything life could throw our way. I was certain that we
would always have our share of hard times and trials in life…but I was also certain
that we would always find our way home, into each other's arms.

We finished eating and Adam handled the bill, even after we tried to get him to let
us pay. We stepped outside and he had to leave for the airport soon but wanted to
smoke a cigarette before he left. Jay lit one up too and I jumped up on the hood of
my car as I watched them.

Jay stepped up in between my legs and laid his back against my chest as he
smoked. I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles in the front as his
head laid back on my shoulder. I started massaging his shoulders as he stood there,
- 756 -
figuring that the stress of the day had to be getting to him.

He moaned softly and closed his eyes, "Mmm…that feels so good, baby."

I smiled as I gently kissed his golden curls. A minute later his head snapped up
and he exhaled, leaving a cloud of smoke as he spoke, "Hey Doc? Can I ask you a
question…off the record?"

Adam nodded, "Sure, son, what's on your mind?"

Jay furrowed his brows and took another drag, "Well, mama said that she knew I
was gay all them years but I don't know if I buy it. She took every opportunity she
had to drag me through the dirt. I don't understand why she never brought that up if
she knew."

Adam took a pull from his cigarette before exhaling slowly and leaning against the
car next to Jay. He sighed, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you…"

Jay turned and looked at him as he spoke quietly, "Please, Adam…I gotta know or
it'll drive me crazy…"

He smirked, "Ya know…you're lucky you remind me a lot of myself when I was
your age. This stays in between us and no one else…I could get in a lot of trouble for
discussing this with you. Do I make myself clear?"

We both nodded and he leaned back against the car again, "Well, that wasn't
exactly true, Jasper. As we started talking through everything in therapy, bits and
pieces started coming together for her. You must understand, before her
incarceration, she was inebriated pretty much all of the time so she couldn't put
things together. Subconsciously, I do think that she did know back then…I think
that's why she made little off the wall comments to you about having relationships
with men…"

Jasper turned his head, "So, that's why she used to talk shit about me and
Carlisle?"

Adam nodded, "Yes."

Jasper shook his head, "But that don't make sense. She said she could tell I was in
love with Edward…I remember her makin little comments bout people thinking I
was a fag if I kept hangin round him but she never flat out accused me of bein with
him…"
- 757 -
 Adam smiled softly, " Jasper, your mother was insanely jealous of your relationship
with Edward. Think about it…did she ever get on you about hanging out with any of
your past girlfriends or friends?"

Jay shook his head, "No, I guess not."

The Doc sighed, "She was threatened by what you had with Edward. In her mind,
you showed him what you had never shown her…love and respect. She never
mentioned it because she was afraid."

Jasper furrowed his brows, "But why would she be afraid? Mama didn't care if she
hurt me."

Adam took a breath and looked over at him, "It wasn't about hurting you, son…she
was trying not to hurt herself. She was afraid because she knew that you would
easily choose Edward over her any day. She was afraid that if she said it aloud then
it would be true…you loved Edward more than her. She's always wanted your love,
Jasper…she just has no idea how to ask for it or how to give it in return. She's still
very much like a small child in some ways. She's been searching for affection from
any man she could get for as long as she remembers but what she really
wanted…was your affection. So, she's been throwing horrible temper tantrums,
basically."

Jay's head hung low for a minute and finally he looked back up with a dimpled
grin. He flicked his cigarette and just laughed, "Ya know what, Doc? With mama,
I've felt like the grown up my whole life…she did act a lot like a kid and I was always
cleanin up after her. But, it's my turn to be a kid for awhile…so, me and Eddie are
gonna take off and go behave like some wild ass teenagers for the rest of the
summer."

Adam laughed and reached over, pulling Jay into a one arm man hug, "Now that
sounds like an excellent plan. You boys have fun, be safe, and don't do anything too
wild."

Jasper smirked at me with an evil grin while he hugged the Doc and I could tell by
the look on his face, that this summer was definitely going to be way too wild for our
parents taste…and I couldn't be more excited.

That look went straight to my cock and I tried my best to keep my lower body
pulled away as Adam reached out and hugged me too.

I smiled, "Thanks for everything, Doc."

- 758 -
 He smiled back, "Anytime, boys. Just promise that you'll be safe. Your poor mom
and dad have been worried sick about you two."

I felt the sharp pain of guilt in my gut as I furrowed my brows and looked at the
ground, "Yeah, I know. I didn't mean to make them worry so much."

His hand was on my shoulder as he gave me a sympathetic smile, "Edward, they're

fine. Trust me…a little alone time is good for them as well. But you boys…you're
theirs and they would fight to the death for either of you. Just remember that when
you're ready to take off in the middle of the night…"

Then he looked at Jay, "And you remember that when you're ready to start a fight.
Like I said, you're smart boys, so just be safe. Now, I have to be on my way…I have a
very handsome man waiting on me back home."

Jay and I laughed as he hopped in his car and took off with a wave.

Jay smiled at me, "Ready to get the hell outta here, darlin?"

I smiled back, "Absolutely!" I threw him my car keys and leaned over for a small
kiss before we jumped in the car and took off down the highway.

We talked quite a bit about his visit with his mom and he told me everything that
happened. He sighed as he put out a cigarette, "It's weird, y'know? I've thought of
mama as nothin but bad my whole life…it's weird to think that there might be some
good in there too."

I sighed as I turned my body in the seat to face him, "Well, I think

that…sometimes when we see people, we see them as either a good person or a bad
person…but I think, the truth is, that we're all good and bad. No one is completely
one or the other…we're all a little of both…in my opinion anyway."

He smiled over at me, "Ya know, Eddie? You're pretty fuckin sexy when you're
bein all smart like that."

I could feel the familiar blush cover my cheeks as I smiled back, "Yeah?"

He nodded and reached down to rub himself through his jeans, "Mmm…ya know
what would be fuckin awesome right now?"

I couldn't keep my eyes off of the ever growing bulge in his jeans as I mumbled,
"Hmm?"
- 759 -
 I felt my throat constrict as I gulped and instinctively licked my lips as he popped
open the button on his jeans and slowly pulled down the zipper.

I ran my tongue along the corners of my mouth to catch the impending drool that
threatened to slide down my chin as he reached into his pants and pulled out his
insanely beautiful hard cock.

He smiled at me as he held his big dick in his hand, "Road head."

I wanted to…Lord knows I did but I felt my cheeks burn even hotter as I glanced
around and noticed that it was still not very dark outside and people might be able
to see.

"Um…Jay? What if…what if someone sees us?"

He smirked as he began pumping his impressive cock very slowly, knowing

exactly what he was doing to me as I started squirming in my seat, "C'mon, baby…ya
know ya wanna suck my dick right now…taste my sweet sticky honey on your
tongue…down your throat…"

I tried to be inconspicous as I wiped the corner of my salivating mouth with the

back of my hand. I couldn't argue with his statement…but seriously, there was an
old lady driving a mini van next to us.

"I do, Jay but…"

He sighed as that deviant little smirk still played on his lips, "Aww sugar…you're
gonna hurt his feelings. Don't ya love him no more? Just one little kiss,
baby…please…"

I quickly glanced around as the butterflies danced around in my stomach. I took a

deep breath and whispered, "Just one kiss…"

That evil smirk had never left his lips as he watched me quickly lean over the
console and brush my lips against the tip of his cock before jumping back in my seat
and looking around again to see if anyone had seen.

He whispered, "Hey Eddie?"

I bit my lip and looked over at him, my face still on fire, "Hmm?"

He smiled, "Did I ever tell ya that my dick is French? You should really kiss him in
- 760 -
his native tongue."

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "That was really cheesy, Jay! You can just tell Pierre
le Cock that it's not going to happen."

That damn smirk still ghosted his pretty pink lips as he shook his head, "Don't talk
about him like he's not right here, Eddie…and you can just tell him that shit yourself
cuz I ain't gonna be responsible for breakin his poor heart…"

I laughed again as he ran his thumb over his slit and whispered, "I'm tryin,
man…I'm tryin…"

I shook my head and giggled, "You are absolutely ridiculous. Fine…"

My mom knew a lot of French because her and my dad went to Paris before they
adopted me. I use to listen to her speak it and studied it quite a bit so I decided to
fuck with Jay a little.

I leaned down and looked at his gorgeous, mouthwatering, ginormous cock and
sighed, "Que mes baisers soient les mots d'amour que je ne te dis pas."

I watched it twitch and harden even more as Jay groaned so I brushed my parted
lips over the head and slowly slid my tongue across his weeping slit.

Maybe he likes it when I speak French as much as I like it when he speaks

Spanish…

He let out a husky moan and whispered, "When the fuck did ya learn French?"

I smiled now with a cocky smirk as I looked up at him through my lashes, "It
wouldn't be any fun if I told you all my secrets, now would it, Jay?"

He licked his lips and breathed out, "Say somethin else, baby."

So I lifted up and brought my lips to his ear as I whispered, "Entre deux coeurs
qui s'aiment, nul besoin de paroles."

He moaned softly, "What did you say, Eddie?"

I smirked as I looked down at his throbbing cock as it twitched against his

stomach, "He knows what I said."

- 761 -
 And all thoughts of little old ladies driving mini-vans or Church busses flying down
the highway suddenly became absolutely insignificant as I leaned back down and
took him down my throat, swallowing around him and humming in blissful pleasure.

He groaned and gripped the steering wheel with a knuckle whitening grip. I
bobbed happily up and down over his hard shaft as one hand weaved into my hair
and gently guided me.

It wasn't long until he moaned out my name and I felt his pure sticky honey come
out in thick creamy spurts down my throat and on my tongue.

I was so hard I thought I might combust if I didn't have him soon. So, I raised up
and took his earlobe between my teeth as I whispered, "S'il vous plaît arrêter et me
faire l'amour dure et rapide contre le mur…please…please, baby…"

He groaned and mumbled, "If you wanna get fucked in a roadside bathroom
somewhere, Eddie…keep on talkin…"

I smiled and giggled against his neck, "Je te veux ... J'ai besoin de toi ... Je t'aime
... s'il vous plaît me faire l'amour …"

He growled as he pulled off a highway exit ramp that led to a rest area mumbling
things like, "Gonna get it…" and "don't know what he fuckin got himself into…"

When we pulled up and came to a stop, he quickly turned the car off and then
tucked himself back into his jeans. Then he reached into the console and grabbed
the small bottle of lube, stuffing it into his pocket.

He looked over at me and in a throaty whisper said, "C'mon, babe…"

My breathing hitched as I looked around at the semi crowded rest area and my
face burned as I whispered, "Here?"

He had the sexiest snarl on his lips as he laughed, "Don't even try that shy shit
with me right now, Eddie…get outta the fuckin car and come with me so I can fuck
the ever lovin daylights outta you…"

I felt the shiver of excitement roll through my body at his vulgar words…

Yes sir…God, I loved it when he talked like that…

I pulled my shirt down over the bulge in my jeans as I hopped out of the car. Jay
- 762 -
quickly grabbed my hand and started pulling me along until we came to a 'Family'
restroom. I didn't even have time to be confused as he yanked me inside and pushed
my back against the door.

I gasped as he crushed his lips to mine in a wild, ferocious kiss…teeth clanking,

tongues tasting every inch of each other's mouth, lips bruising from the force…

I groaned into his mouth as I heard the 'click' of the door being locked behind me.
His hands snaked around my waist as mine went around his neck. I pushed against
him a little and I about jizzed my pants right then and there when he slammed me
back against the door with a deep growl as he continued kissing me with everything
he had.

A moment later, he began walking backwards, pulling me with him as his grip on
my hips never lessened. We stumbled and he dragged me as our lips and teeth and
tongue continued their delicious assualt on one another.

Walking was difficult with our eyes closed and bodies melted into one another but
our lips only parted with small gasps as we ran into
something…sink…wall…counter…before quickly reconnecting.

When we eventually made it into the one stall in the small bathroom, Jay pulled
away and popped the button of my jeans open before jerking my zipper open and
just yanking my jeans and boxers down fiercely.

I gasped as my dick sprung forth and was soon engulfed in his scorching, wet
mouth. My eyes were closed as my hands went to his hair and all I could do was
moan out his name over and over.

My hips bucked into the wet heat before his rough fingertips gripped my hips and
slammed them back against the wall of the bathroom stall as he grunted and
growled around my cock.

That simple forceful action caused me to see stars as I came deep down his throat.

He swallowed everything I gave and seconds later, he was up on his feet again,
taking my mouth to his in a brutal kiss that only helped to make my knees weak. The
taste of myself mixed in with the sticky honey of his tongue caused me to groan and
quickly go for his pants, repeating his actions and roughly yanking them down
around his ankles…but not before I grabbed the lube from his pocket.

Then both of my hands were being held against the wall above my head by the
- 763 -
fierce grip of his fingers as he pressed his strong body into mine with another growl.

The lube was taken from my hand and I heard the cap pop open as his other hand
grabbed my leg and yanked it up around his waist, leaving one leg of my jeans and
my shoe sitting on the floor beneath me.

I groaned as my foot pressed against the opposite wall behind his back and then I
felt his hot slick fingers pressing inside of me.

He now had one hand on my ass, holding me firmly in place as the other one
continued stretching and preparing me for imminent pleasure.

I had one arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders while the other reached up
and gripped the top of the bathroom stall wall behind me to provide leverage and
support.

His puffy pink lips pulled away from my crimson bruised ones as he whispered,
"Are you okay?"

I laughed deliriously at his sweet concern because I was off in fucking

Wonderland right now and he hadn't even started fucking me yet.

"Yeah, baby…I'm okay."

He smiled at me with that beautiful dimpled grin, "You like it rough, huh?"

My cheeks were on fire but, like I said, I was drunk and delirious with pleasure,
"Fuck yeah, I do."

That evil smile came back as I felt him position himself at my entrance. His lips
ghosted mine as he whispered, "Good…cuz I'm bout to fuck you into next week,
boy…"

I groaned as his lips slid around to my ear and whispered, "Tell me if you need to
stop, baby…"

I nodded and a second later, I felt his hard cock penetrate through my tight ring of
muscle. It was the most intense, savory burn I had ever felt. I wanted more.

I pushed slightly against him and we both groaned as he slipped in a little further.
He entered me slowly, taking the time to make sure I was adjusted before he started
moving.
- 764 -
 Once he was all the way in, my foot pushed against the wall to provide sufficient
support as he began slowly moving his hips.

Our chests were heaving and my body was on fire as his hips rolled up into me,
pushing me hard against the wall and causing my foot on the ground to stand on my
tippy toes. I strengthened my grip on the stall ledge above me and my grip around
his shoulders as he started moving harder and faster.

His hard cock slammed in and out of me, hitting my magic spot over and over
again as his teeth and tongue devoured my neck. I wasn't capable of anything right
now other than just being lost to the wonders of my beautiful lover fucking me into
blissful oblivion.

The sounds of grunts and growls and slapping flesh filled the small room as my
toes started to curl. Jay's grip on my hips held me in place as I fought to stay
upright.

His hard shallow breaths and uttered curse words only helped to intensify the
pleasure of being taken against a wall by the man I loved more than life itself.

My hand on his shoulder slid up into sweaty, damp curls and held on tightly. A
muffled growl against my neck was quickly swallowed by my willing mouth as his
lips took mine again.

Over and over again, he took me hard and fast and relentless against the wall and
I relished every delicious moment of it.

My cock was once again hard and pulsing and I was unable to even warn Jay as I
came hard on his stomach and all over his t-shirt.

Moments later, his thrusts became erratic and frenzied as he groaned into my
mouth and came deep inside of me.

A few more long slow thrusts and he gently pulled himself out of me.

My leg dropped from the wall down to the floor and I nearly fell, unable to stand
on my own two feet but luckily, he held onto me tight. My arms wrapped around his
shoulders and his arms around my waist as we just held each other, trying to even
out our shallow breathing.

Eventually, we pulled away from each other. I was still wobbly so he had to help
me get my jeans and shoe back on. Then we noticed the sticky messes on our t-shirts
- 765 -
and Jay just laughed as I turned red and muttered, "Um…sorry…"

He pulled his shirt off and wiped mine off as best he could. He just left his off and
threw it over his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me again and whispered,
"Can you walk now, baby?"

I took a few tentative steps and nodded, "Um, yeah."

He smiled and took my lips to his in a soft sweet kiss. When our lips parted he
whispered, "I love you, Eddie."

I smiled and whispered back, "I love you too, Jay."

He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bathroom, "C'mon, babe, we still got a
lot of drivin to do 'fore we get a room."

I followed him out and could feel the intense stares as we emerged from the
bathroom. I wanted to be embarrassed…but I was still reeling from being fucked
against a bathroom wall in a highway rest stop by Jasper fucking Whitlock…

A/N So ya'll aren't left hanging…here's the English translations for what
Eddie said…btw, I used google translate so they may or may not be correct ;)

Que mes baisers soient les mots d'amour que je ne te dis pas. - Kisses are
the unspoken words of love

Entre deux coeurs qui s'aiment, nul besoin de paroles -Two hearts in love
need no words

S'il vous plaît arrêter et me faire l'amour dure et rapide contre le mur -
Please pull over and make love to me hard and fast against the wall…

Je te veux ... J'ai besoin de toi ... Je t'aime ... s'il vous plaît me faire l'amour
- I want you...I need you...I love you...please make love to me

- 766 -
 Chapter 37

Okay guys…I'm getting ready to go on vacation for about a week. The

hubby, son, and I are gonna spend some time deep in the middle of the
woods by a nice little lake…so I'm sure I will be plenty inspired once I return
to write some lovely little lemons.

Also, the next few chapters will be mostly fluffy goodness…Lord knows I
need to write some fun happy stuff for a bit. So, hopefully this chapter will
tide you over for a bit.

See you in a couple weeks!

Playlist: For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert

Jay's POV

Once we got back to the car, I lit a square and took off outta the parkin lot.
Inhaling deeply and feeling completely satisfied, I couldn't help but feel like the
motherfuckin shit as I looked at the beautiful bronze haired boy passed out in the
passenger seat with a soft smile on his cherry lips.

Yeah…I fuckin rocked that shit…

I headed down the highway as dusk finally settled. I felt so fuckin free. I had never
really felt that way before…there was always someone or something dictating my
life for me. But now, for a little while anyway, I was my own boss…answering to no
one and doin whatever the hell I wanted with my baby boy at my side.

And just cuz Fate thinks it's all fuckin funny and shit…Eddie's phone started
ringing in his pocket with Carlisle's ring tone.

So I reached over and slid my hand into the pocket of his snug jeans…earning a
soft moan and some shifting as he began to harden.

I chuckled quietly as I pulled his phone out…

My sweet insatiable boy…

I hit the button and smiled as I spoke, "Big Daddy C! How the hell are ya?"

- 767 -
 He laughed softly, "I'm good, son. It sounds as if everything went okay
today…with your mother?"

"Yeah, man. Went a lot better than I thought. I was a little shocked that you had
spoken to her and that the Doc was there…but all in all, it went really well."

He sighed, "Yeah, I'm so sorry about not telling you, Jasper. I was just very
concerned that if you knew we had spoken, then you wouldn't visit her. And I really
believed the meeting would be beneficial to you both. But I do hope that I didn't
upset you, son."

I smiled, "No, not at all. I understand why you did it but I hope you won't keep
something like that from me again, Carlisle. I know I'm a little hot headed
sometimes but I'm a big boy and I can handle myself. I appreciate you lookin out for
me though."

He took a deep breath, "Well, I'm glad you're not upset…however, I do have some
news that may potentially upset you."

I felt a knot arise in my stomach cuz I wasn't sure what to expect with all the
crazy shit that happened in my life.

"What is it?"

"Your father called this afternoon."

Of course he did…

I felt that familiar nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach as I sighed, "How bad
is it, Carlisle?"

He let out a breath and spoke, "Well, he spoke with Esme and she said he was
quite upset. Apparently, one of your cousins told him that you ran off with some girl.
He asked her if you had been dating anybody when you lived with us. Of course, she
told him that you weren't dating any girls that she knew of…"

I groaned, "Was he rude to Esme?"

He sighed, "Well…let's just say that she can handle herself too, son, so don't
worry. She did say that he seemed rather worried about you though."

That made me laugh, not humorously but still.

- 768 -
 "That's not all, son…."

I took a deep breath and braced myself, "What else?"

"Um…I guess that some girl told him that she saw you and a boy leave in a car
with Washington tags."

"Who the fu…hell would've told him that?"

He sounded exhausted as he spoke, "He didn't say. He's not sure who to believe
but I imagine he will be showing up here at some point."

"I'm really sorry, Carlisle. I don't want you guys involved in my bullsh…stuff."

He chuckled a little and yawned, "S'okay, son…"

I decided to change the subject, "So, um…how's Charlotte? I haven't heard

anything for a couple of days."

"She's…hanging in there longer than the doctors had expected…but I'm afraid it
won't be much longer."

"What about Peter? Is he…doin alright?"

He sighed, "He's managing as best he can. He's got a lot of support and he's one
tough old man so he'll pull through this. Emmett and Brady have been spending a lot
of time with him…helping him get things done and trying to keep his mind off
things."

I smiled a little at that thought…I really needed to call them.

Then my mind came back to my dad, "Hey, do you know if my dad has called me in
as a runaway or anything?"

"He didn't mention it to Esme but I'll have Charlie check for me tomorrow and let
you know."

"Thanks, man."

We talked a little longer about my visit with my mom and how Edward was doing.
I gave him a little shit about kissing a guy at that frat party and he laughed, saying
that he had forgotten exactly why he had done that but he still had the pictures in an
- 769 -
album somewhere.

I made him promise to show me sometime.

By the time we got off the phone, I was completely tuckered out. So, I pulled over
at a Days Inn and got us a room for the night.

I had to practically drag Edward in the room…I must've really worn his ass out cuz
he didn't wanna wake up.

He curled up on the bed completely clothed with even his shoes on and was out
again by the time I brought the last of our bags in.

So, I pulled off his shoes and managed to get him out of his jeans without waking
him. I pulled the blanket from underneath him and covered him up before I hopped
in the shower.

Once I was done getting ready for bed, I decided to give Jeremiah a call to see if
he knew anything more than what Carlisle had told me.

Clad in only a pair of sweats, I walked out onto the balcony and lit a cigarette as I
waited for him to answer.

"Big cock, Whitlock…Jeremiah speakin'…"

I chuckled, "What the fuck would you have done if this was gran ma callin?"

He laughed now, "Shit, son, granny always says that gran pa had the biggest cock
of us all…"

I smiled, "Sounds like granny."

"So, I guess ya heard bout your daddy lookin for ya?"

I sighed, "Yeah, I heard. Thanks for tryin to cover for me. Do y'know who told him
that I left with a guy in a car with Washington tags?"

He huffed, "Who the fuck do ya think, Cuz? That fuckin Kaycee bitch! Just thank
your lucky stars that she didn't see ya'll kissin."

I was truly very thankful for that little tidbit.

- 770 -
 "Yeah, I shoulda fuckin known…"

He chuckled a little, "Don't worry bout it, man. I got her back for ya…told her that
if she didn't shut the fuck up bout ya…I was gonna get ya to press charges for
statutory rape and shit…"

I laughed, "Dude, we didn't do anything!"

I could practically hear the smirk in his voice, "Shit, son…it don't matter cuz that
nasty bitch fucks with them young'uns all the time…I'm buddies with the local
sheriff's son…I threatened to get the hooker locked up…"

I rolled my eyes with a laugh, "Do you know everybody in that god damn town?"

"Yup."

I laughed and he continued talkin, "So, how's the road trip goin? Ya doin okay? Ya
done bein all emo and shit since ya got your…ya know…dude back?"

I shook my head with a chuckle, "Yeah…I'm happy I got my dude back, Cuz."

He sighed, "Well that's good…he seems like an alright guy."

I smiled as I looked at my beautiful boy curled up on the bed, "Yeah, he's…a really
good guy."

He laughed, "So…he got a sister or somethin? I need me a doctor's daughter…the

kid must be loaded."

I rolled my eyes again, "No, he ain't got no sister. And, yeah, his family's well off
but he's not, like, stuck up or nothin…and I don't like him cuz of his money…"

He chuckled again, "Pull your panties out your ass, man…I was just fuckin with
ya…ya don't wear panties, do ya? Y'know what? I don't wanna know…"

"Fuck no, I don't wear panties, fucker! I'm all fuckin man…"

He laughed again, "So, he's the chick, huh? Well, he is kinda pretty…"

I just shook my head and laughed, "You're a silly mother fucker…anyway, how's it
goin with you? Your chick doin alright with the baby?"

- 771 -
 He sighed, "Shit, Cuz, she's pissed as hell at me bout joinin the army…thinks I'm
leavin her and shit…"

"Sorry, Cuz…that sucks."

"Yeah…but the baby's doin alright. We'll find out what it is at the end of the week
'fore I leave for boot camp."

I groaned internally…I hated that he was leavin.

"I'll call again 'fore ya leave…take this number…it's Eddie's but he won't care bout
you callin me…"

He chuckled, "I dunno, man…if I was your dude, I'd be fuckin pissed at havin
someone as good lookin as I am callin…"

I laughed again, "You ain't got shit on Eddie, fucker."

"Whatever…ya know if I wasn't your Cuz…you'd fuckin want me."

"Jeremiah…you got serious issues, man."

He chuckled again, "Shit, son…tell me somethin I don't know."

I heard somebody yell "Fire in the hole!" in the background and Jeremiah laughed,
"Hey I gotta go, man…take care of yourself and I'll call ya if I hear anythin else."

"Alright, take care of yourself…later, Cuz."

"Later, Cuz."

I hung up the phone and flicked my cigarette over the edge of the balcony. I heard
some rustling from behind me and turned to see Edward stretch his arms above his
head and yawn while sitting up in bed.

His voice was rough with sleep as he looked around hazily and whispered, "Jay?"

I opened the patio door and walked back into the darkened room, "I'm here,
Eddie."

I could see his beautiful crooked grin even in the darkness, "Hey, babe…what are
you doing?"
- 772 -
 I pulled back the blanket and slipped in next to him, "Nothing, baby…I was just
talkin to Jeremiah."

He laid back down and snuggled into my arms with his back to my chest and his
ass pressed into me. I wrapped my arms around him and played with his soft silky
hair as he gently ran his velvet fingertips up and down my forearm.

He whispered with a contented sigh, "Mmm…is everything okay?"

I pressed my lips into the back of his neck and kissed it softly, "Yeah…my,
um…dad is lookin for me…"

He turned and looked at me with wide emerald eyes, "Did he…does he know…"

I shook my head slightly, "No, baby…he don't know where I'm at. Everyone's doin
their best to cover for me…"

He turned completely in my arms now and his hands cupped my cheeks as he

whispered, "Jay? At the end of the summer if…well, if he…I would run…you know I
would run away with you, right? Anywhere…I'd follow you anywhere."

I know you would, Eddie…but even I'm not selfish enough for that…

But I knew how he would react if I tried to fight with him on it, so I just smiled and
pulled his lips to mine, "I know you would, baby…"

At the end of the summer, I would have to decide what I was gonna do if nothing
had changed my dad's mind…but whatever I did, Edward would be staying in Forks
with his family and friends…he would finish high school there…I was fuckin certain
about that.

And I was done talkin about it…wastin precious time with Eddie that could be
coming to an end sooner than either of us wanted…so I kissed him deep and made
love to him until we both fell into an exhausted but completely satisfied sleep.

The next morning, we were both practically runnin out the door, anxious to get to
the cabin and relax the rest of the summer. We were fuckin giddy with excitement
as we passed the state line into Michigan.

Windows down and music blaring, we laughed and talked about all the stuff we
wanted to do this summer. He wanted to get some kind of a tan…but I was damn
near tempted to sabotage his tanning lotion with sun block cuz I loved his creamy,
- 773 -
pale skin just the way it was.

I just wanted to have as much fun as we possibly could before going back to
reality.

When we were about an hour out from the cabin, I decided to give Em a call to
thank him for everything and to tell him I was sorry for not callin him sooner.

"What's up, fucker?"

"It's about time you called me ya fucking asshole!" he answered with a laugh, his
voice booming just as loud as I remembered.

I laughed, "Sorry, man…I was bein an asshole…I shoulda called you sooner."

He sighed, "Yeah, you should've…so, what's been going on, Jay?"

I told him about everything that happened in Texas and how fucked up my head
was, thinkin that none of them would wanna be bothered with me anymore.

He scolded me, "That's total bullshit, Jasper. I have a lot of acquaintances,

man…but I don't have many friends. You're on that short list, fucker…you're like a
little fucking brother to me, Jay, and no matter where you are…that's not going to
change. Remember that…douche."

I chuckled, "I will…dickhead. I'm…really fuckin sorry, man. It won't happen

again."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "Well, alrighty then…so, how ya doing, man?"

And just like that, it was like nothing ever happened. Emmett was one of those
rare people in life that don't judge you or hold things over your head…when he
forgave, he forgot, just that simple. He was a really good friend…a real friend and I
wouldn't forget that again.

We talked for a little longer and he told me that they were planning on coming
down for a couple weeks towards the end of the summer. I was pretty psyched cuz I
really wanted to see them all. I had missed hangin out with them.

When we hung up the phone I was feelin a whole lot better about everything.

Eddie and I pulled up to the Post Office about an hour later. We were really fuckin
- 774 -
excited to get the keys and stuff to the cabin. So, when the woman behind the
counter gave us a big cardboard box, Eddie and I looked at each other curiously cuz
it was way bigger than it should be for some keys.

Eddie smiled as he read the side, "Hey, it says Happy Birthday on it. Em must've
sent us a birthday present."

I smiled, "That was real nice. What do ya think it is?" I picked it up and shook it as
he laughed and grabbed it back.

"Only one way to find out…" he grabbed the end of the masking tape and began
peeling it off. Once the top was opened, he pulled out a small envelope that had
some keys and details about when the cleaning crew came and the security
information.

Then he pulled out a smaller box that was kind of long…like maybe a wine bottle
or something.

It was wrapped real pretty with a big red bow on it. Eddie bit his lip as he took the
top off.

I peeked inside, "What is it?"

He shrugged at the crinkled paper he saw and reached his hand inside. He
furrowed his brows, "What the hell is this?"

The next thing I know, he was waving a big hot pink dildo around as everyone
around us gasped, laughed, and covered their children's eyes.

Okay, I was the main person laughing but that shit was funny as fuck. Eddie
gasped and immediately turned red, all the way through to the tips of his ears.

He just stood there, holding it with wide green eyes and a look of pure horror on
his face.

I was laughin pretty hard but when I heard a kid say, "Mommy, look…they do
make pink light sabers!"…

Yeah, I fuckin lost it and was in hysterics now.

Eddie quickly tried to hide the dildo behind his back but then we heard another
child, "Ouch! Mommy, he hit me in the eye with that light saber!"
- 775 -
 Eddie turned and I looked behind him to see a little boy, maybe five years old,
standing there with his hand over his eye and pointing at Edward.

Eddie started stammering as he held his hands up to the mama giving him the
mean stare, "I'm so sorry…I didn't see him there…this…isn't even mine!"

He was stuttering as he shook the dildo at the woman who grabbed up the child
and turned tail outta there.

I heard some young woman in line mutter, "Damn…their fudge packers…"

Then the little girl in front of her who had been excited about the pink light saber,
tugged at her mama's dress and asked, "Mommy, what's a fudge packer? I love
fudge! Do they use that pink light saber to stir the fudge?"

The shocked woman said something about how we were similar to Keebler elves
and I lost it again.

But poor Eddie was havin it hard as he stood there, frozen with embarrassment,
still holding onto that hot pink dildo.

I managed to get myself down to a chuckle now cuz seriously, I bet the poor Doc
would be hearin about this incident for years to come from my now troubled
boyfriend.

I put my hands on his shoulders and tried not to laugh as I said, "Breathe, darlin.
Give me the dildo."

He gulped and slowly handed me the damn thing like he was in slow motion. I had
to pry it from his fingers as he gripped it with white knuckles. I managed to stifle my
laughter as I spoke softly again, "Give me the dildo, Edward."

He finally released his fingers and stood there rigid as I put it back in the smaller
box and threw that box in the bigger one. I tucked it under my arm just as a man
came out and asked us to leave and never return.

I nodded and grabbed Edward's hand, pulling him along behind me as we ran
outta there and to the car. I opened his door cuz he was still frozen with shock.

Once he was in, I threw the box in the back and hopped in on my side.

I was cautious as I spoke, "Um, Eddie? Ya okay, babe?"

- 776 -
 Even his ears were red as he turned to me and huffed, "I can't believe he did that
to me!

A dildo! A fucking hot pink dildo! I pulled it out in front of everybody! I have never
been more mortified!"

I had to wipe the tears from my eyes as I smiled at my pissed as hell boy who was
sitting there with his arms crossed across his chest and a scowl that was even fuckin
sexy.

"Aww…baby, it ain't that bad…we got a new toy to play with…"

He rolled his eyes, "I hit a child in the eye with it, Jay."

I chuckled as I reached out and took his hands, "Babe? You ain't ever gonna see
none of these people again. It happened, baby, ain't nothin you can do now but let it
go. Would it make you feel better to call Em and cuss him out?"

He nodded. So I reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. I found Em in the
contacts and hit 'send' before handing the phone to him.

He took the phone and I looked back in the box and pulled out a piece of paper
with Em's messy scrawl on it…

So, Jay, you remember when you embarrassed the hell out of me at the
drug store for embarrassing Eddie? Revenge is a dish best served cold. Have
fun dealing with a seriously pissed off Edward, fucker.

Happy Birthday Boys!

LMFAO-Em

I laughed as I slipped the note back in the box and heard Eddie screaming into the
phone.

"Emmett William McCarty! What the hell? I cannot believe you did that to me! You
just wait…when you get down here…you are in so much trouble! Jay's got my back!
You're in for a world of pain, McCarty!"

I was fuckin rollin now as Eddie let Em have it. I could hear Em laughing on the
other end and that only enraged Eddie more.

- 777 -
 "You think it's funny? Pink! It was hot fucking pink! The children thought it was a
light saber! I damn near put a child's eye out with the thing! You are dead! With a
capital D-E-A-D! Oh that's it! I'm calling Rosalie right now and telling her about that
red head you saw when we went out a few weeks ago! You remember? The one you
said had an awesome set of tits?"

I heard Em yell out, "Dude? Dude? Calm the fuck down! No need to get my junk
castrated! Rose will have my fucking balls, man! I'm sorry!"

Edward sat there with a smug smile on his face as he started calming down,
"Thank you for the apology."

I just shook my head and took off for the cabin while they continued talkin for a
few minutes. By the end of the conversation, they were both laughin again.

He hung up and smiled at me, "We've still got to get him good when they get down
here. You've got my back, right?"

I smiled and took his hand, "I got your back, babe…and your front."

He rolled his eyes and chuckled. He had finally calmed down and was smiling
again when we pulled down a long drive that went up into the side of a big hill.

It was surrounded by trees and very secluded. When we finally pulled up to the
driveway, I silently thanked God for givin me rich friends.

The house was amazing...not huge, but beautiful.

It was a very modern version of a log cabin nestled in the trees. Eddie gasped as
he looked up, "Wow! This is awesome!"

I couldn't contain my grin as I grabbed the box behind me and jumped outta the
car, "C'mon, Eddie! Let's go check this shit out!"

He quickly followed as I ran up about twenty steps to the front door. I pulled out
the keys and the security codes and a few seconds later, we walked inside.

I dropped the box off in the front entryway and looked around in awe. The living
room was pretty big with a fluffy lookin couch and recliner in front of a great big
stone fireplace. There was a huge TV and entertainment center along the wall on the
other end.

- 778 -
 I grabbed Eddie's hand as we wandered through the rest of the house, checkin
things out. There was a game room with a pool table, darts, and a fully stocked bar.
There were three bedrooms, the master had a nice garden tub and I laughed when I
saw the mirror above the bed.

Em's dad is a freak…hooray for me and Eddie!

We walked through the kitchen and found our way to some patio doors. When we
stepped out back, we just stood there and stared at the orange sun starting to slowly
melt away over the lake.

There was a huge in-ground pool and hot tub…but down the side of the hill, there
was a private beach.

I was so fuckin ready to get this summer started!

Apparently, Eddie was too cuz he smiled at me with that beautiful little crooked
grin, "Let's go get our stuff and get settled in!"

I nodded and after two trips to the car, we had everything inside of the cabin.
Eddie was busy organizing shit so I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and just
watched the water…it was really calming and peaceful.

A few minutes later, I threw my cigarette in the ash tray and headed back to the
master bedroom to see if Eddie needed any help.

He had almost everything done by the time I got there and I laughed as I saw him
lying on the bed, staring at himself in the mirror.

I smiled too as he patted the bed and said, "Come here, Jay."

So I kicked off my shoes and laid down next to him. He leaned up on one elbow
and looked at my long body stretched out beside him. He bit that crimson plump lip
and whispered, "Want to fuck?"

I smirked as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him on top of me, fully
enjoying the view in the mirror above me, "You know I wanna fuck, Eddie."

He giggled as he smiled shyly at me and whispered, "I've always wanted to try

something…close your eyes and stay very still…"

My dick twitched a little but I closed my eyes and felt his velvet fingertips pulling
- 779 -
my arms from around his waist and lifting them back on the bed, stretched out
above my head.

I felt the bed shift as he must've been reaching for something. He giggled again,
"No peeking, Jay!"

I couldn't help the dimpled grin that I wore cuz that fuckin giggle did something
strange to me.

I was ready for whatever my baby boy wanted to do…until I felt the familiar cold
steel lock around my wrist…then the other.

My eyes flashed open as I tugged my hands but they wouldn't budge. He had
handcuffed me through the slats in the headboard.

"Edward? What the hell?"

He looked at me all innocently with those big green puppy dog eyes, "It happened,
baby…there's nothing you can do about it now, honey, so let it go…"

The lil' fucker was mockin me!

He leaned down with one elbow on my chest as used his other hand to tease my
nipples through my t-shirt and hummed, "Hmm…now that I have you…whatever
shall I do with you?"

I pulled at the cuffs again cuz I like to have my control and this shit was fuckin me
up.

He smiled, "Baby, don't hurt yourself…I'm trying to help you, Jay. I think it would
be good for you to give up your control completely and trust someone else fully with
your body…that 'someone' being me. You know I won't hurt you…relax, baby."

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths as he continued runnin his fingers
all over my chest.

I finally opened my eyes and raised an eyebrow, "Where'd you get the cuffs,
Edward?"

Cuz these fuckers weren't budging like that plastic bullshit…these were real
handcuffs.

- 780 -
 He smirked and shrugged, "I lifted them from a security guard at the psych
ward…"

Now my eyes were wide, "Eddie! What the hell? You coulda got in a lotta trouble
for that!"

He rolled his eyes, "Said the boy who committed a felony right in front of
me…breaking and entering…ring a bell, sweetheart?"

I half huffed, half chuckled, "You're an asshole…"

He smiled again as he batted his long pretty eyelashes at me, "No, baby…you're
the asshole…I'm the sweet, innocent one…"

I laughed now and quit struggling against the cuffs, "Innocent, my ass…okay, baby
boy…I'm yours…do with me what you will…"

He smiled as he ran his fingers through my curls, "That's a good boy…"

I rolled my eyes and he chuckled as he straddled me and took my lips to his. He

kissed me deep and hard as he rolled his hips into mine, causing my cock to quickly
respond.

He moved down my jaw, nipping and sucking and licking…I craned my neck to
give him better access as I gripped onto the headboard for support and started
rolling my hips underneath his.

Small moans and grunts and sighs filled the room as he devoured my neck and dry
humped the hell outta me.

He raised above me on all fours as his hooded emerald eyes bore into mine. His
hands gripped my shirt at the neck and he began tugging with a few grunts of
frustration.

I raised an eyebrow, "Um, babe? Are ya tryin to rip my shirt off?"

He sighed with another frustrated grunt and tug, "Yes! What the hell is this shirt
made out of?"

Finally, I was chuckling and he mumbled in annoyance, "Oh holy hell…"

Then he reached over and opened the nightstand drawer, pulling out a small pair
- 781 -
of scissors with a look of satisfaction in his eyes.

He snipped the top and threw the scissors back in the drawer before sitting up on
me and ripping the shirt right down the middle this time.

I laughed at his proud smile and just shook my head, "You're the motherfuckin,
man, babe."

He laughed now too and lowered his head again, continuing his kisses and licks
and nips along my chest…my nipples…and traveling down to my stomach.

By the time he reached my happy trail, I was fuckin aching.

I lifted my hips so he could tug off my jeans and boxers…my thick cock bouncing
lightly against my stomach as I moaned softly.

Edward smiled against my hipbone as he sucked it before he leaned over and

trailed his lips right above my cock.

He whispered and I could feel the warmth of his breath against my heated skin,
"Bon jour, Pierre…"

We both laughed softly until he started torturing me again, leaving poor Pierre
just hangin…well, not really hangin…but whatever…he skipped Pierre completely
and continued his exploration of my body with his tongue and teeth.

I moaned out, "Please, baby…suck my dick…c'mon, Eddie…please…"

He looked up from between my legs where he was sucking on the inside of my

thighs, "I already have you bound, Love…don't make me gag and blindfold you too."

I moaned and tightened my fingers around the headboard as he worked his tongue
all over my body, eventually ending back in between my legs where he lifted them
onto his shoulders.

I gasped as I felt his tongue start circling my hole before plunging into it.

"Oh fuck!"

I pulled at those fuckin cuffs again and growled cuz my dick was leakin and
throbbin and probably cussing me out in a foreign language.

- 782 -
 My eyes were clenched shut cuz I couldn't take much more as my hips bucked
against his tongue over and over again.

I heard the top to the lube pop open and figured Eddie was getting ready to finally
fuck me…but my eyes shot open and I fuckin screamed out when I felt him engulf
my dick in that hot little mouth of his while something began pressing into me.

I looked in the mirror above the bed and saw Eddie workin that hot pink dildo
inside of me while he took me down his throat and hummed.

My head began thrashing from side to side cuz this shit felt so fuckin good…there
were no fuckin words…

He was hittin my magic spot now as he worked the dildo hard and fast inside of
me and sucked my dick like a motherfuckin champ.

My arms were weak from straining against those cuffs but I dug my heels into the
bed and moved against the dildo and his mouth…two sources of extreme pleasure.

Another few strokes and I was seein stars as I shot my load deep down his throat
and clenched around the dildo.

He swallowed happily around me until I was so fuckin sensitive that I wanted to

scream for him to stop…but that shit ain't gonna happen so I bit my lip to keep me
screamin.

His movements were slower now, more gentle as he moved the dildo slowly in and
out of me and licked my semi hard cock up and down until I was standin at full
fuckin attention again.

He removed the dildo and I fuckin whimpered as my cock pulsed again…

He released my cock from his mouth and stood up, slowly removing his clothes as
I watched with hooded eyes.

Once he was naked, he smiled that crooked grin I love so much and climbed on
top of me. He leaned down and kissed me gently as he whispered, "As I was
saying…there's something I want to try…"

I giggled now, "You mean fuckin me and suckin my dick at the same time wasn't
it?"

- 783 -
 He giggled too and shook his head, "No…this is what I wanted to try…"

He pulled away from me and I watched as he turned over, lying his back against
my chest and his head on my shoulder.

He grabbed the lube and reached down to stroke my cock while I watched us in
the mirror.

He wants to try it from behind…he needs to feel in control…that's why I'm

cuffed…fuck, this psycho analysis shit must be rubbin off from the Doc…

I dug my heels into the mattress again as he guided my cock to his ass. I just held
my legs still as he slowly started moving down against my cock. His ass was the
tightest, hottest, most incredible thing I had ever felt…but fuck, I really wanted to
wrap my arms around him too.

But I understood that he needed to have complete control of this situation so I

gave it all to him.

Once my cock was fully sheathed inside him, we both moaned as his head turned
sideways to mine and took my lips to his in a passionate, wet, deep kiss.

I gripped onto the headboard as I slowly started coming up to meet his hips rolling
down onto me.

When we weren't kissing…we were watching. I watched as his hand slid down and
wrapped around his own length, slowly pumping himself in time to us. The sight of
him above me…seeing my cock slide in and out of his pretty ass…watching his
fingers turn and twist up and down his cock…his shallow breathing as he was
coming to the edge …it was quickly becoming too much and I knew I was gonna cum
soon.

Just moments later, I felt his ass clench around me and watched as he came in
thick white spurts across his stomach and chest…his mouth opened and eyes closed
as he moaned out my name.

That's all it took for my eyes to clamp shut and my cock to erupt deep inside of
him while I moaned his name softly over and over again.

I was panting as he collapsed completely against my chest and I just enjoyed the
warmth of his body above me as I kept my eyes shut and tried to regain my
breathing.
- 784 -
 A few minutes later, I whispered, "Thank you, Eddie…that was amazing, baby…"

He didn't respond. My eyes opened and looked in the mirror above me to see my
beautiful bronze haired boy…fast asleep.

Now this normally isn't a problem but since I was still cuffed…yeah, big fuckin
problem.

My cock had softened and slipped out of him so I bucked my hips up and grunted,
"Edward…baby, wake up…"

The lil' fucker just curls to his side while still on top of me and cuddles to my
chest.

I chuckle and do it again but speak a little louder, "Eddie! Dude, I'm still
handcuffed!"

He snorts and sucks in a breath as his head lifts and his hazy eyes look around for
a second in confusion.

I start laughing now as he smiles sheepishly and turns bright red, "Um…sorry,
Jay."

He reaches over and grabs some keys from the nightstand before undoing the
cuffs and setting me free.

He frowns a little at the red rings around my wrist and I smile, "Don't even think
about feelin bad for that, Eddie…you replaced some very bad memories of these red
rings…with a fuckin awesome memory…so thank you, babe."

He smiled now and kisses my wrists, "Thank you, Jay. I love you."

I finally wrap my arms around him and tell him I love him too. He cuddles up to
me and whispers, "Let's take a nap…then we can grocery shop and grab some
dinner when we wake up, okay?"

I smile, "Grocery shop? You don't expect me to cook, do you?"

He smiles against my chest, "I could go for a honey covered blondie…"

I smile now as I feel my eyes getting heavy, "Oh…well, okay…we'll go grocery

shoppin…sweet dreams, darlin…"
- 785 -
I hear him whisper, "Good night, babe."

And my last thoughts before I drift into an exhausted and well satisfied sleep…

This is only the beginning of your summer, Jay…you too Pierre…lucky, lucky boy…

- 786 -
 Chapter 38

Big thanks to my girl Yaritza Perez for helping with the Spanish
translation in this chapter! I appreciate it girlie!

Just a reminder about the Twilighted thread for LL if you guys wanna
discuss anything…

www(dot)twilighted(dot)net(slash)forum(slash)viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9
952&p=1019221p1019221

It's also on my profile.

Also, my girl, Maria, requested a little Ghettosper and Geekward…so I

tweaked her idea a bit and hope that ya'll like it!

Eddie's POV

I opened my eyes, sleepily, and smiled as I felt him shift underneath me. I looked
down to see him scratching his balls in his sleep and I chuckled because he was
beautiful even when he did that.

I laid there for awhile, watching him as he mumbled softly about buffalo wings
and his dick twitched.

Watching Jasper sleep was one of my favorite things to do. He was funny as he
dreamt and mumbled…and sometimes he was insanely sexy as he moaned and
reached for his hard erection.

Whatever he did, he was always simply breathtaking.

I brushed the golden curls away from his face so I could revel in his perfection.
The boy had good reason to be so damn cocky. I brushed my fingertips down his jaw
and noticed that it felt a little scratchier. He was starting to get facial hair.

That made my dick twitch a little.

I reached up and ran my fingers down my own chin…smooth as a baby's bottom. I

sighed heavily wondering if I would ever catch up to him. Even though we were the

- 787 -
same age, he always seemed so much older than me…more mature.

He was still a few inches taller than me and I know he outweighed me. The fear
settled in as my mind wandered. I wondered if he would ever want someone who
was as mature as he was…someone who mirrored his confidence and coolness. Is
coolness a word? Hell, I don't know but I understood what it meant.

Jay was the coolest boy I had ever known. I smiled as I thought back to the first
time I met him and how my mind reeled at the fact that he was actually speaking to
me. This perfect, beautiful, cool boy…wanted to be my friend. It was more than I
ever imagined just to have him as a friend…the thought of ever losing him as a
friend or lover sent waves of panic through me.

The thought that when this summer was over, he may have to leave again, only
helped to make my stomach knot more. Luckily, before I had time to throw myself
into a full blown panic attack, his eyes opened and I was graced with that perfect
dimpled grin.

Immediately, my nerves settled even as my heart raced…but it raced for different

reasons now.

"You been awake long, darlin?"

I shook my head as I smiled down at him, "No, Jay…not long. You want to take a
shower before we go shopping? I thought maybe we could stop for some pizza and
buffalo wings?"

He chuckled as he sat up and stretched, "Talkin in my sleep again, huh?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

We both got out of bed and hopped in the shower. We took our time and washed
each other as we kissed and caressed. I loved shower time with Jay.

Once we got out of the shower, he threw on a pair of faded jeans that hugged his
ass in all the right places. They were worn very badly and it amazed me how good he
could look without even really putting any effort into it.

He pulled on a gray t-shirt and as he was pulling on his shoes, he smiled at me,
"I'm gonna step out back and have a smoke while you're gettin ready, okay?"

I smiled at him before glaring at the image in the mirror, "Okay, Jay."
- 788 -
 I still didn't know what he saw in me. He was the beautiful one with his golden
curls and baby blue eyes…all sunshine and ethereal magnificence.

I sighed as I tugged at my hair, willing it to do something…anything. I looked at

my skin…no longer completely pale but marked with rosy patches as I figured out
that tanning was not in my genes.

I stood and looked at my body with only the towel wrapped around me. My body
paled significantly with Jasper's. I was shorter, skinnier…I didn't have as much tone
and definition as he had. His arms were something to behold and his stomach and
abs were rock hard but not overly obnoxious like Em's. He was naturally beautiful.

Trying to escape the emo thoughts in my head, I shook it for good measure and
left the bathroom to get ready.

When I was finished dressing, I walked out back to find Jay sitting in a patio chair,
watching the moon out over the water.

He seemed lost in it and I took a moment to appreciate him fully. The soft glow of
the moonlight played along the honey highlights in his hair…his pink, plump lips
wrapping around the end of that lucky cigarette before parting and watching the
hazy white smoke billow into the air.

I licked my lips and didn't notice as a soft sigh left my throat…he noticed though
as his eyes snapped to mine. They were dark…a sea of navy and gray. I loved how
his eyes would tend to match his shirt at times…or they would mirror his mood. I
wanted to ask him what he was thinking about but the words escaped me as his eyes
captured me with their intensity.

A moment later, he was stubbing out his cigarette and stalking over to me…with
dangerous grace and sinful beauty that made my heart beat a little harder.

Before I could catch my breath, I was being pushed against the patio door while
his mouth melted into mine. He tasted like honey and smoke…it doesn't sound
nearly as intoxicating as it actually is.

I felt my leg hitch around his waist, apparently having a mind of its own.

He kissed me thoroughly and hungrily…savagely claiming me as his own as he

dominated me.

I smiled on the inside because I knew what he was doing…reclaiming his power
- 789 -
and control. After giving it all to me earlier, he was claiming what was rightfully
his…me.

When I felt like my lungs might burst and my cock might break the zipper on my
jeans, he pulled away, breathless and beautiful.

He smiled as he kissed me once more, a soft peck on the lips, before pulling away
and rasping out, "Ready?"

A little dazed and confused still, I simply nodded as he laughed and grabbed my
hand, pulling me along behind him as we left.

He hopped in the driver's seat and smiled, "So, ya wanna eat first then go to, like,
Wal-Mart or somethin?"

I shrugged, "Sure."

After driving through the back roads a few minutes, we hit a main road filled with
restaurants, clubs, and stores. We chatted a little about stupid things as we drove,
keeping each other happy and laughing.

I saw his eyes light up and he smiled, "Want Mexican food instead? There's a
restaurant up here that looks good…"

I smiled back, "Sure, that's fine with me."

A minute later, we were parking at the restaurant and walking in. I looked around
at the rundown place and nudged Jay, "Um, are you sure this place will be any good?
It looks kind of…"

He smirked at me, "Yeah, man, these hole in the wall joints always have the best
food. Trust me, babe."

I nodded with a minimal amount of hesitation.

A Hispanic woman, maybe in her thirties, walked out and smiled as she grabbed
some menus and said something that I couldn't understand. I felt a twinge of
jealousy at the way she looked at my boyfriend…the whore was eye fucking him
right in front of me!

I crossed my arms and scowled at Jasper as he flashed her that dimpled grin and
started speaking back to her in Spanish.
- 790 -
 As the words rolled off his wicked tongue, I willed my dick to stop reacting when I
was so valiantly trying to be pissed.

I followed along behind them and sat down in the booth with an exasperated huff
as they chatted like old friends. He slid in across from me and totally ignored me as
he pulled out his wallet and flashed her his ID.

I was a little confused but about to flip my lid as she blushed and started giggling.
Finally, he acknowledged my existence with that stupid sexy dimpled smirk,
"What'cha wanna drink, babe?"

I scowled again and muttered, "Whatever."

He turned back to Senorita Hoe-Bag and spoke again. She giggled again as I
wanted to scream…

Go do your fucking job, Bimbo and leave my man alone!

A minute later she turned and walked away. Jasper turned those stupid pretty blue
eyes to me and reached out his hand, "Aww, darlin…don't be mad at me. I was just
bein' friendly."

I rolled my eyes and looked away as I mumbled, "Friendly my ass…"

Now he reached both hands across the table and whispered, "C'mon, baby
boy…you know I only want you. I love you, Eddie…please look at me."

I tried to calm myself down and keep in mind that the love of my life, was a
natural born flirt. He probably didn't even realize he was flirting…

I turned and looked at him with furrowed brows as I whispered back harshly, "Do
you even realize how hard you were flirting with that…woman?"

The asshole chuckled a little and leaned back in his seat with a smug smile on his
face, "Yup."

Now my blood was boiling and I was about to go off on him when the skank
returned with our drinks. She placed my soda on the table and I did a double take as
she put a bottle of Corona with a lime in front of Jay.

I was taken aback and the second she left, I leaned across the table and
whispered, "What the hell? She gave you beer? You're only 16...you even showed her
- 791 -
your ID."

The cocky bastard gave me that devious little smirk again that shot straight to my
traitorous cock. He picked up the bottle and winked, "I can be very charmin' when I
wanna be, Sugar."

He took a long pull from the beer as I sat there dumbfounded.

Eventually I snapped out of it and responded, "You flirted with her because you
wanted beer?"

He shrugged, "I didn't mean to piss ya off, Eddie…but yeah, I really wanted a
beer. C'mon, babe…ya know I'm yours so come on over here and claim me, pretty
boy."

He threw his free arm up on the back of the booth and gestured to the spot next to
him. I wanted to stay mad, I really did…but those damn dimples called to me and
before I even knew what I was doing, I was sitting next to him.

I didn't look at him though as I kept my arms firmly crossed over my chest in
defiance.

I felt his soft curls against my cheek and then his smooth lips on my neck as he
whispered, "You can't stay mad at me, Eddie…"

I gulped as his warm lips pressed against my neck and that silky tongue flicked
out. I suppressed a moan as he sucked gently and whispered, "You taste so good…"

I cleared my throat but it didn't help as I rasped a little breathlessly, "B-but…you

showed her your ID…she knows you're only 16..."

He chuckled while his lips and tongue continued working my neck, "My ID says
18, baby…and I was just showin it to her so her boss could see that she carded
me…"

I couldn't stop the soft moan now as he bit down at the juncture of my neck and
shoulder, "B-b-but…that's illegal…what if…"

I couldn't think clearly at all as his hand slid in-between my legs and rubbed my
inner thighs. I clenched my eyes shut so I wouldn't jump on top of him and he
chuckled again as I felt his fingers pulling my chin towards him. I felt his strong
velvet lips brush against mine as he whispered, "But I thought you liked bad boys,
- 792 -
baby…there ain't ever been a boy as bad as me…"

Then his hand wrapped around my hard cock through the denim of my jeans and
squeezed lightly.

I groaned and opened my mouth to his.

Fire coursed through my veins…especially the one in my cock and I completely

forgot what I had been so upset about.

That was until I heard a small gasp and I broke free from my Jasper induced haze,
panting and breathless to see the wide shocked eyes of the waitress staring at us.

I gulped and Jasper just chuckled a little and smiled at her as he spoke those
damn Spanish words that didn't help the situation in my jeans.

I watched him work his magic as I sat there still completely dumbfounded.

A minute later she was giggling and blushing again. Jay nudged me and
whispered, "She thinks you're cute…you wanna beer? I'm sure I can get her to give
you one…"

I shook my head and cleared my raspy throat, "Um, no…I'm good with my Coke,
thanks."

He shrugged and asked, "Well, what do ya wanna eat, babe?"

I just played with the straw wrapper in my hands as I looked down at the table. I
mumbled, "Um…I don't care, you know what I like…"

I was feeling very self conscious because I had no idea what they were talking
about and even though the restaurant was relatively empty, I felt like people were
staring.

A minute later, she had taken the order and left.

I turned to Jay and whispered, "What did you guys talk about?"

He smirked and whispered, "Apparently she has a thing for younger men…I told
her we were into threesomes with older chicks, hell, we may not even have to pay."

I scowled again, "How could you tell her that? Do you really want her?"
- 793 -
 He grimaced, "Fuck no, Edward! I was just tryin to get her to serve me alcohol! I,
sure as fuck, ain't ever gonna share you! Seriously, babe…do you really think I could
ever want anyone but you? "

I looked down at the table again and shrugged.

He pulled my chin up and his baby blue eyes gazed into mine, "Eddie…I'm sorry,
okay. I'll stop flirtin' right now. I didn't think you'd take it so seriously…I mean, you
and me…we could get practically anything we wanted if we put our heads together.
Just like Tony Montana…the world is ours."

I furrowed my brows and muttered, "Who's he? Some guy back in Texas?"

He started laughing now and became animated, "You don't know who Tony
Mon-fucking-tana is? Scarface? Al Pacino? Really?"

I shrugged again, "I know who Al Pacino is. Was that a movie he played in or
something?"

He smiled, "Dude! We are so buying Scarface tonight! You gotta watch that shit!
You're all into bad boys and shit…Tony Montana is the ultimate bad guy! I can't
believe you haven't seen it!"

I mumbled as the heat rose in my cheeks, "My parents wouldn't really let me
watch stuff like that."

The waitress came back now and placed our food in front of us with a wink and my
face burned hotter. Jasper spoke to her again and even though I ached to know what
he said as the twinge of jealousy pulled at me…my dick still responded as it quickly
hardened again.

His hand was on my thigh and when he felt it, he looked over at me with a smirk.
Once the hussy left again, I started picking at my steak fajitas as he rubbed my
thigh.

He leaned over and whispered with his lips grazing my ear, "Te amo, Edward.
Amo la forma que te pones colorado cuando te apeno. Amo la forma que te pones
atrevido cuando te caliento. Adoro que tu pito sabe exactamente lo que estoy
diciendo ahora mismo. Cuando llegamos a la casa, te voy a coger tan duro que no
vas a conocer to propio nombre... pero tienes que saber esto ... Yo voy a pasar todo
los dias amando todo de ti, siempre."

- 794 -
 I shuddered as my cock grew impossibly harder at his seductive Spanish words. I
gulped and whispered, "What did you say?"

He chuckled softly and kissed my cheek before pulling away, "Pedro Cockriguez
knew exactly what I was sayin."

Now I started laughing as I turned and looked at him drinking the last of his beer,
"Pedro? Really?"

He shrugged, "Hey if I gotta foreign cock named Pierre…you totally have a

Pedro."

I just smiled and shook my head, "I better go to the other side of the booth before
we end up really giving that woman a show."

I got up and slid in across from him. I cleared my throat and tried to change the
subject because you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. I secretly wondered if
Jay and I would always be this hot for each other or if it was just teenage hormones.
But I resigned myself to believe that it would always be like this between us.

"So, um…how'd you learn Spanish so well?"

He took a breath and started playing with the label on the beer bottle, "Well, I
lived all over Texas until I was nine and there's a lot of Hispanics there so I picked
some up here and there…but I guess I learned most of it when I was locked up."

I took a sip of my Coke and furrowed my brows, "Did you take a class or
something?"

He laughed and shook his head, "Fuck no! There was this guy…this little pudgy
kid named Jose. He was always getting beat up and shit 'fore I got there. Anyway,
we were in the same dorm…they called them dorms but they were really just small
rooms with about six beds each. So, he was always getting picked on but I thought
he was kinda cool…y'know, smart and shit. I told him I'd protect him if he taught me
Spanish."

I smiled, he was such a sweetheart.

"So, did you guys stay friends at all after you left?"

He shook his head with another devious smirk, "Nope."

- 795 -
 I was curious about his expression and asked, "Why?"

He laughed, "Well, my mama never came to visit me when I was locked up and he
felt kinda bad for me. So, on visiting day, he introduced me to his family and let me
sit with them…anyway, long story short…I talked his older sister into givin' me head
in the bathroom and he found out about it."

God he's such an asshole...

I choked a little on my Coke and rolled my eyes as I coughed, "I should have never
asked."

We talked a little more as we ate and dinner was really great. Jay was right, the
food was incredible. The waitress flirted excessively and even brought Jay two more
beers, on the house, but he wouldn't even look at her now as he spoke…his eyes
never left mine.

Once we were finished, he pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the
table and grabbed my hand as we left.

He handed me the keys and figured I should drive since he had been drinking so
we jumped in the car and took off again.

A few minutes later we pulled into the massive parking lot at Wal-Mart and I
gulped, "Wow…this place is, um…really big."

He looked at me now with a curious expression, "You've never been to Wal-Mart?"

I shook my head as we exited the car, "Um, no. There isn't one in Forks and I
never went grocery shopping or anything with my mom."

He laughed as he took my hand, "I don't think I've ever met anyone who hasn't
been in Wal-Mart before."

I blushed again as we began walking up to the doors. It was loud and crowded and
I felt extremely uncomfortable being with so many people in one building.

He noticed my hesitation and let go of my hand. He nudged me with his shoulder,

"Would it make you more comfortable if we just act like friends in here?"

I took a deep breath and shook my head as I grabbed his hand again, "No, I'm
okay, Jay. It's just a little…overwhelming."
- 796 -
 He smiled, "Shit, babe…I'm ghetto…Wal-Mart's like a second fuckin home to me!"

I started laughing now with him and my nerves settled down exponentially. We
grabbed a cart and began grocery shopping. I really wanted to cook for him and was
looking forward to surprising him with some of his down-home favorites that I had
practiced while we were apart.

Shopping with Jasper was a lot of fun. He went into a whole spiel about how you
had to get the Cap'n Crunch with crunch berries or it just wasn't worth it…I was a
Frosted Flakes kind of guy. I laughed when he grabbed bottle after bottle of honey
with a wink and a smile. We loaded up on junk food but I had made a mental list of
the things I would need to cook some good food for him so I made sure to grab what
I needed.

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "You plannin' on cookin' cuz I'm on vacation,
darlin?"

I flashed him my crooked grin, "I'm planning a lot of things, Jay."

Once we had gone through the grocery part, we went over to the movies because
he was insistent that I watch Scarface…I didn't know what the big deal was but I
agreed since he seemed so excited.

But then I found something that excited me, "Hey, look…they have the Lord of the
Rings trilogy box set!"

He smirked, "Lord of the Rings, huh?"

I nodded vigorously, "Yes! Lord of the Rings is awesome! I tried to get you to
watch the first one with me a couple years ago but you fell asleep, like, ten minutes
into it. Please, Jay…please watch them with me…"

I stuck out my bottom lip and put on a full pout as he rolled his eyes and laughed,
"Just cuz you're all cute and shit, don't mean I can't say no to you, Eddie…"

I leaned forward and brushed my pouty lip against his and whispered, "But you
never say no to me, Jay…" as I looked up at him through my lashes with wide
hopeful eyes.

He groaned playfully as his arms wrapped around my waist, "Ugh…fine, you

adorable little fucker but I get to pick out a couple more movies too…"

- 797 -
 I nodded and grinned triumphantly, "Okay, Jay. Who knows, you have a thing for
geeks…maybe the hobbits will do it for you."

He laughed and kissed me once more before pulling away and looking through the
movies, "Are the hobbits good lookin?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, not really my type…Aragorn's pretty hot…ooohhh and
Legolas, he's an elf! He's super hot!"

He laughed and shook his head, "I'm in love with a geek."

I scowled, "Legolas is played by Orlando Bloom…and I am not a geek."

He smiled over at me, "Orlando Bloom's pretty hot…" Then he walked up and put
his arms around me, bringing me close to him as he kissed my lips softly, "You know
how hot I think geeks are baby and you, Edward Cullen, my little geeky boyfriend,
are super hot."

He kissed me thoroughly right there in the middle of Wal-Mart but everything else
just faded away. When he finally released his lips from mine, he brushed his hand
along my cheek and whispered, "You know I don't really think you're a geek,
baby…you just like geeky movies."

I rolled my eyes and we both started laughing.

"Whatever, Jay, you loved the Harry Potter movies."

He smirked, "Fuck yeah, Harry was a hottie…that Cedric though, man, he was
smokin' hot! Besides, you made me watch them!"

He was right, I did make him watch them with me but I had no idea how much of a
boy crush he was going to get.

Finally he picked out a couple more movies…Goodfella's because he said that Joe
Pesci and Robert Deniro were hilarious and that I would like Ray Liotta…and Blow
because, and I quote, "Johnny fuckin Depp…nuff said."

I agreed. And besides, what gay boy wouldn't like a movie called Blow.

Once we made it out of Wal-Mart and back to the cabin, it was pretty late but we
weren't tired because of our naps earlier. So, we finished putting the groceries away
and decided to save the movies for a rainy night.
- 798 -
 We were standing in the kitchen as Jay smiled at me, "So, what'cha wanna do now,
Eddie?"

I reached up and ran my fingers through my messy hair and sighed, "Um…we
probably should put our stuff away so we don't have to worry about it
tomorrow…and it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to do some laundry…"

He smiled and rolled his eyes, "Geez, don't get too crazy, darlin…"

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, I mean I was just being practical.

He came over and put his arms around me, "You're right, babe…we should get
that shit done so we can relax tomorrow. C'mon, we'll get unpacked and I'll do the
laundry."

We walked to the bedroom and began piling our dirty clothes in one corner and
putting our clean clothes away in the dresser. Em's dad had a few items in the closet
but he obviously hadn't left much here because everything was pretty bare.

He finished before I did so he went to start the laundry as I finished unpacking my

bags. When I pulled out the pair of dark framed glasses, I smiled as I remembered
back to our little role playing session…well, I guess it was role play, I mean, I'm not
really a geek, right?

Of course not…I have the most fuckhot boy in all of existence wrapped around my
little finger…I am the coolest boy alive…

I giggled a little to myself at the insane idea that I had Jasper Whitlock completely
and irrevocably in love with me…freaky little Edward Cullen.

I rocked.

I heard Jasper yell from downstairs, "Hey babe, I'm gonna go out back and have a
smoke!"

I yelled back, "Okay, Jay, I'll be down in a few minutes!"

I ran my fingers along the black frames and smiled as I thought about some of the
secret little fantasies I had…

Being spanked…

- 799 -
 Jay in handcuffs and on his knees in front of me…

Jay as the strict teacher and me as the shy student looking for intimate
instruction…

Jay being all…ghetto…

Fuck, and now I'm sporting a semi…

I wondered if he had read about any of those in my journal. I wondered how

in-sync we were. I wondered if I walked outside right now and initiated one of my
little fantasies if he would follow along without me having to say a word…

Hmmm…freaky little Edward Cullen is certainly correct…

And before I knew it, I was stripping off my clothes and redressing in a pair of
khakis and a green polo shirt, tucked in. I walked to the mirror and slipped on the
glasses with a blushing smile.

If I wanted him to be all ghetto with me, the least I could do is be a little geeky for
him…

I took a deep breath and walked downstairs. One more deep breath before I slid
open the patio door and stepped outside.

He was sitting on the brick patio ledge that overlooked the beach, shirtless with
one leg up as the other dangled over the edge.

He took a drag of his cigarette before turning his head and spotting me. I was
graced with that beautiful dimpled grin and a raised eyebrow.

I walked slowly over and cleared my throat as my cheeks went up in flames,

"Um…you're, um…Jasper Whitlock, right?"

He looked down for a moment and chuckled softly before clearing his throat and
looking back up at me with hooded midnight eyes and a sexy little snarl, "What the
fuck you want, geek?"

Yay! He's playing along!

A shiver ran through my body and I pulled my fingers through my hair, trying to
keep my body from getting too excited too quick.
- 800 -
 "Um, well I…uh…I was wondering if you might h-help me with um, something?"

He took another drag from his cigarette as he eyed me up and down, taking his
time to lazily look over every inch of me.

His voice was harsh and dominating and so fucking sexy, "Why the fuck would I
help you?"

I stared at the ground and mumbled, "P-please…I really need your help…"

He turned towards me now as both legs hung off the ledge as he faced me,
"Hmm…alright, what do ya want and what are ya gonna give me in return for helpin'
ya out?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets as I continued staring at the ground beneath my

feet, "Um…I want to be…um, cool, y'know? I'm tired of everyone picking on me…and
I'll, um…I can pay you, if you want…"

He rolled his eyes and laughed harshly before jumping off the ledge and stalking
towards me as he backed me up against the wall behind me, "Look here ya little
spoiled rich boy…ya wanna know how to crack up cars, I can help…ya wanna know
how to roll a decent blunt, I can help…ya wanna know how to break a guy's jaw, I
can help with that too…but I ain't gonna help some geeky little brat who waves
around his fuckin money …that's what's wrong with you little rich boys, ya think you
can buy anything you want…well I got news for you, I may be poor white trash but I
got my fuckin pride…"

He had me pinned now as his darkened eyes stared into mine. I gulped and looked
down, "P-please…I'll do anything…"

He raised an eyebrow as he brushed his hand along my khaki covered cock,

"Anything, huh?"

I nodded vigorously as my cock twitched beneath his feather touches, "Yes,

anything."

He leaned into my ear and whispered, "What's your name, boy?"

I gulped again, "Uh…Edward…"

His warm breath against my cheek and neck were driving me crazy as he
whispered again, "Are you a virgin, Edward?"
- 801 -
 My whole face was on fire as I really got into character, "Um, y-yes…"

I trembled as he ran that steel stud in his tongue along my jaw and whispered, "Ya
want me to help you?"

I nodded again.

He pulled away and took my chin in his hand as he held my face to look at him,
"I'm gonna fuck you, Edward."

He didn't ask…he was telling me and I responded with a soft groan.

He pulled away and leaned against the ledge as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it
up. He cocked his head and looked at me like a predator as he snarled, "Get on your
fuckin knees, boy!"

I immediately fell to my knees in front of him as I kept my eyes on his. He took a

drag and brought one hand down to brush his finger across my bottom lip as he
spoke, "These pretty red lips were made for suckin dick…so get to it."

He leaned back against the ledge as I reached up shakily (and happily) as I

unbuttoned and unzipped his faded jeans.

The concrete beneath my knees hurt a little but I was so turned on that I didn't
care. I would, however, probably need to replace my khakis at some point in the
near future.

Once his jeans were opened, I reached my hand in and felt his hot flesh beneath
my fingertips. I grabbed his long, hard cock and pulled it out, mesmerized by the
pearl of creamy liquid gathered at the tip.

I looked up at him through my dark frames and he gazed down at me as the white
smoke billowed out from those plump pink lips.

I licked my own and tentatively flicked out my tongue to taste his sweet nectar.
And then his fingers were twisted in my hair, pushing my head down so that I took
him deep down my throat as he moaned, "Take all that dick down your throat, boy…"

He guided my motions as he forcefully guided my mouth up and down his cock,

rough and fast until I couldn't take it anymore and had to give myself some relief.

I reached down and undid my pants but the moment I pushed the zipper down, he
- 802 -
was yanking my head back by my hair. I gasped as I looked up at him with swollen
lips and ragged breaths.

He growled, "Did I fuckin say you could touch yourself, boy?"

I tried to shake my head but his fingers tightened more and he growled again,
"Fuckin answer me!"

My body shuddered as I rasped out, "N-no, sir…"

He let go of my hair and grabbed my chin again, yanking me up to my feet to look

in his eyes, "Just for that shit…you'll come from me fuckin that tight little ass of
yours or you won't come at all…"

I nodded as my whole body broke out in goose bumps. I feared that I might come
before we even got that far.

I was trembling furiously now…so turned on that I could barely stand it.

His fingers twisted in my hair again but softer this time as he pulled me close to
him and whispered in my ear, "You okay, baby? I'm not hurtin' you, am I?"

I chuckled as my body shivered again, "No, Jay…just…God, don't stop…please…"

He laughed softly now in my ear before taking a deep breath and pulling back. His
eyes narrowed and he was into character again, "I want you naked and on your
fuckin knees…I'll be right back. If you so much as even think about touchin' that
pretty cock of yours…I will know and I guaran-fuckin-tee you…it ain't gonna be
pretty."

With that, he pulled away and nearly ran into the house, leaving me alone on the
patio. I was shaking so badly that I had trouble removing my clothes but finally
managed to pull them all off. The cool breeze only added to the intense tingling that
coursed through my body and the only light that shown was the pale moonlight from
up above the water and the greenish blue lights from the pool.

I lowered myself to my knees and the cold concrete was hard beneath me.

A moment later, he returned with a blanket and a bottle of lube. He laid out the
blanket in front of me and panted now as he tore off his clothes with vigor as he
snarled, "Get on your hands and knees!"

- 803 -
 I gulped because I didn't know if I was ready for that yet. He must've seen the
trepidation in my eyes because he whispered as he got on his knees behind me and
started kissing and sucking my neck from behind, "Trust me, Eddie."

And I did trust him, so I slowly leaned forward and positioned myself on all fours
with him behind me.

I gasped when I felt his teeth dig into the soft flesh of my ass cheek, and then I
moaned loudly I felt the wet tip of his tongue swirling around my hole. One of his
hands wrapped around me from behind and started stroking my cock with hard firm
pumps while his tongue caused my back to arch and me to push back into it for
more.

His ragged breathing and my powerful moans were the only things I heard and I
was caught completely off guard when a lubed up finger replaced his tongue and
slipped inside of me.

My head was hanging down and my eyes were squeezed shut as the actions were
almost to intense for me. I pushed back into his finger and soon a second one joined
in and began stretching me out for him.

A few minutes later, his hand let go of my cock and wrapped around my waist,
pulling me up on my knees with my back flush against his chest.

My eyes were still shut tight as I felt his fingers leave me and the tip of his cock
against my entrance.

I gulped and braced myself as I silently prayed that I could get through this
without looking into his eyes for reassurance and comfort.

His warm soft lips pressed against my neck and whispered, "Open your eyes, baby
boy…"

I swallowed again and lifted my eyes…

I gasped when I saw our reflection in the glass patio doors in front of me, the light
from the pool illuminating our figures clearly.

His dimpled smile was met with my own crooked grin as he whispered, "Eyes on
me, Eddie…"

My smile quickly faded with a soft moan but my eyes stayed on his through the
- 804 -
reflection as he began pushing his self inside of me. His hard wet cock slid in slowly,
giving me time to adjust until I felt his strong hipbones against my ass.

His arm stayed around my waist, keeping me steady as he began pulling out and
pushing back in, a little harder and faster with each thrust.

His other hand wrapped around my cock and stroked me in time with him. He felt
so good, buried deep inside of me and soon I was pushing roughly back into him,
wanting more and more…I could never get enough.

His warm breaths were washing against my neck and his soft moans were
bringing me close to the edge quickly.

But then, when he pushed me down, back to my hands and knees as his fingers
dug into my hips and his cock brushed my prostate over and over again…my eyes
closed again while my head dropped down low.

His fingers then twined in my hair again, yanking my head back up as he growled,
"I said keep your motherfuckin eyes on me! Enough of this sweet shit, boy…I'm
about to fuck the ever lovin' daylights out of ya!"

My eyes snapped open and was met with deep pools of midnight blue staring back
at me. His pink lips were pulled into that sinful sexy snarl as he pulled his big cock
almost all the way out before slamming back into me with a fierce growl.

My mouth hung open now as I groaned and grunted in ecstasy…but my eyes never
left his.

My own hard cock was bouncing feverishly and it didn't take long until I was
screaming out his name and cumming in thick white streams across the blanket. A
few more thrusts and Jay came deep inside of me, his warmth and wetness filling me
so completely.

He collapsed on my back and I collapsed on my stomach as we both lay there,

sweaty and gasping for air.

The last thing I vaguely remembered was Jay helping me up the stairs and into
bed…but I could've already been dreaming at that point.

A/N: For those of you who wondered what Jasper said to his baby boy back
at the restaurant…here ya go : "I love you, Edward. I love the way you blush
when I embarrass you...I love how incredibly bold you become when I make
- 805 -
you hot...I love that your cock seems to know exactly what I'm saying right
now…when I get you home, I'm going to fuck you so hard that you won't
even know your own name…but know this…I will spend every day of forever
loving everything about you…"

- 806 -
 Chapter 39

I need to give a huge thanks to everyone that bid on my stories for the
Fandom Gives Back auction. My girl, Meikela, won the outtake of LL (you
may know her, she writes a little story called Southern Charm, I know ya'll
are reading it…) And leigh80 won the one shot. I'm super excited about
writing these and hopefully these lovely ladies will let me post them once
they're finished so make sure to author alert me if you're interested. Thanks
girls!

And…my chick, Maria (Philomena) posted a beautiful o/s called The Breast
Pocket Letter. It's E/J and it's heartbreaking and gorgeous and bittersweet
and just…ugh…I cried both times I read it…in a good way. Check it out, it's
in my faves!

Playlist: You May Be Right by Billy Joel (I love this song…I'm old
so…what-the fuck-ever.) Born on the Bayou by Creedence Clearwater Revival
(yeah I'm in one of those moods so…refer to my earlier statement.)

Jay's POV

"Edward?" I was lying on his back, panting and sweating and feelin like the
motherfuckin king of rockin the cock as he lay breathing heavily underneath me.

And in true Eddie style…he mumbled sleepily, "Hmm? Love you, Jay…"

I smiled against his neck and kissed it softly, "I love you too, Sugar. Let's get ya to
bed, babe…"

I mustered every ounce of energy I had and pulled myself up off him. I stood up
and grabbed his boxers to wipe us off, since I hadn't been wearin' any. Once we
were cleaned up a little, I leaned down and wrapped my arms around him as I
attempted to get him to his feet, "C'mon, baby boy…bed time."

He snorted and wrapped his arms around my neck and mumbled, "Not sleepy…"

And then he was snoring as he went limp in my arms. We did this for awhile as I
helped him get up the stairs and into the bed. Once he was sleeping soundly, I went
back outside to smoke a cigarette and grab our blanket and clothes and shit.

- 807 -
 Then I finished up the laundry I had going and threw the blanket in the wash. I
was tuckered out after that so I went upstairs and curled up behind my boy before I
passed the fuck out.

In the mornin' I woke up to the smell of somethin' really damn good. I opened an
eye and mumbled, "Eddie?"

I turned and looked and the bed was empty. I groaned as I reached down and
rubbed my mornin' wood for a minute cuz that shit always feels too good to just
ignore. Then I pulled myself outta bed and went to take a piss and brush my teeth.

I walked back in the room and pulled on a pair of sweats and proceeded to scratch
my grumbling belly as I staggered down the stairs in search of my bronze haired boy
and whatever the fuck he was cookin'.

I could feel my mouth begin to water as the smell of biscuits and gravy, coffee and
bacon filled my senses. Then I heard the voice of Billy Joel singing…

When I stepped in the kitchen, I had to put my hand over my mouth to stifle my
laugh. Edward was covered in flour and stirring the gravy as he sang along to the
song. He looked so cute, lost in his own little world, completely unaware that I was
watchin' him.

I wondered if he would cook breakfast like this when we were older…

I knew this song, I remembered mama listenin' to it when I was young. I smiled as
I snuck up behind him and grabbed his hand, turnin' him to me quickly as I began
singin' and half-bouncin', half-dancin' around the kitchen with him in my arms.

I sang as he giggled and sang with me, "You may be right…I may be crazy…But it
just may be a lunatic you're looking for…"

We were both laughin' and singin' until I backed him to the counter and lifted that
pretty little ass up so he could sit on it. I fuckin wailed as I threw my head around,
makin' my curls bounce wildly all over the place cuz I was feelin' real fuckin
playful…that's right, fuckin playful…

I sang out loud as my curls covered my face, "Remember how I found you there,
alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled…You were lonely
for a man, I said take me as I am, 'Cause you might enjoy some madness for
awhile…"I was surprised when he started bouncin' that crazy bronze hair around as
he sang to me, "Now think of all the years you tried to, Find someone to satisfy you,
- 808 -
I might be as crazy as you say…If I'm crazy then it's true, That it's all because of
you, And you wouldn't want me any other way…"

We were both giggling like a couple of teenage dumb asses when the song
ended…which was okay cuz I reckon we were.

I smiled at him as I pushed my wild ass curls from in front of my face, "Billy Joel,
huh?"

He shrugged and brushed his bronze locks off of his forehead, "Um, mom likes
it…I remember when they first adopted me…she would always play old music like
this while she cooked. I thought it was very strange back then…I guess I kind of
understand the appeal now."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me as he wrapped his legs
around me and his arms around my neck, "So, your mama used to listen to Billy
Joel…I guess you probably hadn't heard much music before that?"

He shook his head as his cheeks tinged pink, "No, not really. I heard a little in the
hospital but it was always classical music…I guess that's why I enjoy classical so
much even though it's kind of odd for a boy my age. That was actually the first
"modern" song I had ever really heard. I thought it was weird but I sort of liked it
too. That's when I began buying CD's all the time. I spent my allowance every week
on new CD's, all kinds, trying to figure out what I liked the best."

He leaned down and kissed me softly and I returned it happily. Once he pulled
away, he jumped off the counter and returned to stirring the gravy as he smiled over
at me, "What kind of music do you remember growing up?"

I laughed, "Hang on…"

I went and grabbed my Ipod and plugged it in where Edward's had been. I smiled
as I flipped through the play lists, "Well, my granny used to listen to nothin' but
gospel…she was real religious and shit…but that night mama took me, this song was
playin' on the radio…"

CCR filled the air and he laughed, "That's quite different from gospel music. Did
you like it?"

"Fuck yeah…this is southern rock stoner music, babe…its in my motherfuckin'

genes!"

- 809 -
 I walked over and grabbed a biscuit from the pan they were on and popped it in
my mouth right as he reached over and smacked my hand. I acted hurt as I furrowed
my brows and rubbed my hand while trying to speak and chew at the same time,
"Ugh…wufs af fer?"

He rolled his eyes, "That's for picking at the food while I'm cooking. You can wait
until its finished."

I swallowed down the biscuit and made a pouty face at him, "You're mean."

He laughed, "What are you…two years old, Jay? You can just tuck that lip back in
because it's not going to work on me."

I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and began kissing
his neck softly. He hummed a little bit but stayed strong…until I started rubbing
myself against his ass, slowly getting hard through the flimsy sweats.

He took a deep breath and set down the spatula, gripping onto the countertops in
front of him. I whispered, "Is this workin', Eddie? Ya like the way I feel against your
ass, don't ya? Ya like how hard you make me? You make me so fuckin' hot I can
barely think straight…all I can think of is pullin' these pants down and lettin' them
hit the floor as I bend you over and…"

And with that, I grabbed a couple pieces of bacon and took off running as I
laughed my ass off. He gasped and looked over at me, weak kneed and wide eyed.
Then he was throwin' an oven mitt at me while callin' me a dick.

I just shrugged as I ate my bacon with a triumphant smile, "Yep, I know I am,
darlin'…"

To make amends for my bacon stealing, I decided to help him finish cooking
breakfast. Before long, we were sitting down and eating. Too say that I was shocked
by Edward's cookin' skills would've been a fuckin understatement.

I was on my second helping of biscuits and gravy when I asked, "How'd you learn
to cook like this, babe? I never seen your mama make biscuits and gravy before…"

His cheeks tinged pink and he looked down as he ate, "I, um…kinda, sorta found
this website that had…y'know, southern recipes and stuff on it. So, I thought I could
maybe try them out and see if I could make anything. Do you, um…do you like it?"

I was kinda sorta really fuckin flattered.

- 810 -
 I got up and sat in the chair next to him, instead of across from him, "Hey Eddie?"

He looked up at me now, "Yeah?"

I couldn't help the big goofy grin on my face, "That's like…all sweet and shit."

He turned even redder and tried to look away but I just smiled, "Thank you,
Edward. That was really nice of you to try and learn how to cook stuff I like. You're
an awesome boyfriend."

Finally I saw that crooked grin as his green eyes met mine, "Yeah?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

He smiled again as he looked at me, "You're welcome, Jasper."

When breakfast was done, we decided to leave the dishes for later cuz we were
both so fuckin stuffed that we didn't wanna move.

I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and Eddie followed me, sitting across from
me in a lawn chair.

"What do ya wanna do today, Edward?"

He looked out over the water. The sun was shining and it was already getting
warm out, even though it was still pretty early.

"Let's go to the beach. I know it's not the ocean but I've never been to a beach
before. It'll be fun."

He smiled over at me and I nodded, "Sure, babe. Anything you want."

I sometimes forgot just how much Eddie had missed growin' up. Some of those
basic little things that most kids take for granted were complete mysteries for him.
He was fuckin adorable when he got all excited about stuff like this.

So we hopped up and went to take showers. When we got out, we both threw on
our swimmin' trunks and I grabbed a backpack and shoved some towels and shit in
it.

I held his hand as we walked outside and down the back steps to the beach down
below. He was practically vibrating with excitement and I found myself laughing as
- 811 -
he hurried me up, "Come on, Jay…"

He whined, "Come on…let's get in the water…please…"

I smirked up at him as I laid our towels down on the ground and reached in the
bag pulling out a small bottle, "We'll go in the water in just a minute, Eddie…let me
put sun block on you first."

He blushed slightly as he plopped down, "Oh…um, okay."

I poured some of the lotion in my hands and rubbed it together before I started
rubbing his shoulders and back, making sure to cover all of his exposed skin. He
sighed, "I wish I could tan like you do…"

I smiled as I scooted up behind him, wrapping my arms around him and bringing
his back flush with my chest. He laid his head back on my shoulder and closed his
eyes contentedly as I started rubbing the lotion over his chest and along his arms,
"Edward…I think you're kinda perfect just the way you are."

He smiled but didn't open his eyes, "So you're into geeks and albinos…"

I started laughing, "You are not albino…you're…y'know…like…fine porcelain or

some shit…"

He opened his eyes only to roll them at me, "Whatever. I'm pasty."

I chuckled now as I leaned down and kissed his neck, "Yep, you're tasty
alright…now stand up, babe…I need to get your legs."

His cheeks were scarlet as he glanced down, "Um…maybe you should give me a
minute."

I looked down and saw him tenting his shorts. I smiled, "Yeah, maybe I should."

So he pulled away from me a little and turned around to face me. I took the
opportunity to put some of the sun block on my fingers and rub it into his cheeks,
onto his nose and forehead and chin…if his face got sunburned, I might not see that
fuckhot blush very well and now I can't let that shit happen…

When I was done with his face, he could safely stand without worry of pokin' my
eye out so I could do his legs. Once he was all covered in sun block, we headed out
to the water.
- 812 -
 There were a few people around but we were towards the end of the beach and
not too many people wandered this far down. We had a blast playin' around in the
water and on the beach. Edward had no fear in the water and I was lovin' watchin'
him have fun.

After a few hours, we were getting hungry again and I was worried about him
getting too much sun so we headed back up to the cabin. We stripped outta our wet
trunks right there on the back deck and wrapped towels around our waists before
heading into the kitchen.

He started to open the cabinet but I shooed him away, "Have a seat, babe. You
made breakfast…I got this."

He smiled as he sat down on a stool at the bar and watched me pull out the stuff
to make us some sandwiches. When the sandwiches were finished, I grabbed a bag
of chips and two cans of Mountain Dew. I set everything down in front of him as I
hopped on the bar stool next to him with a wink, "See, I can cook too."

He laughed and we started eating.

"So, Edward? Can I ask you somethin'?"

He smiled at me, "Of course, Jay, what's up?"

I took a breath and hoped I wouldn't hit any sore spots with him, "How did you
learn to swim so good? I mean…I guess I'm just wondering who taught you."

He looked down for a second before clearing his throat and bringing his eyes back
up to mine, "When I was first adopted, we lived in Chicago. Mom and dad had a
house there with a pool in the back. I always found water soothing, even when I was
very young, I remember that I loved taking baths and would do anything I could to
stay in the water a little longer. I remember that I wanted to get in that pool so
badly I could barely stand it…"

He chuckled a little and I smiled as he continued, "So I sat there and just watched
it for months outside my bedroom window, trying to work up the courage to get in it.
There was no chance in Hell that I was going to ask for help at that point, I wouldn't
even speak to my dad...I was scared, distrustful. Eventually, I worked up the nerve
to go out and sit by it. I did that for awhile. Then, one night, we were having an
incredible thunderstorm…and you know how much I love thunderstorms…"

I just nodded cuz I did know how much he loved them.

- 813 -
 He smiled back, "Well, I ran outside to feel the rain on my skin…and I was
standing by the pool when I just…had to jump in, y'know? So I did. Luckily it was the
shallow end. Mom and dad were frantic when they found me but I didn't want to get
out. They put on their swim suits and got in with me, right there in the middle of the
thunderstorm. It was kinda…awesome. They're really good parents, I got very
lucky."

I smiled, "Yeah, you did, they're really cool."

He nodded and we continued to eat and just shoot the shit.

When we were done, we decided to go ahead and clean up the kitchen, finally
washing the breakfast dishes. We knew there was come cleaning people coming the
next day but I didn't feel right having people clean up after me. Besides, it was kinda
like practice for when we had our own place after graduation.

Once all that was done, we ended up in the game room playing Xbox and talkin'
hella shit to each other. I finally got him to play Grand Theft Auto and I was crackin
the hell up every time he had to visit a hooker to get healed cuz he was bright red
the whole time.

Then he schooled my ass in Lego Star Wars and I gave him some shit for bein' so
good at it. He was quiet for a minute before he looked over at me with a slight blush
on his cheeks, "Um, hey Jay?"

I took the opportunity while he was distracted to use my light saber to take his
Lego head off, "What's up, babe?"

I heard his soft voice again, "Can I ask you something?"

I paused the game and put down the controller before facing him, "Of course,
Eddie. Anything."

He smiled that sweet crooked smile and looked down for a second before bringing
those pretty green eyes up to mine, "Um…can I…uh, I mean…I'd like to take you out
tonight. Y'know, on a, um…a date. Would you want to?"

He was too fuckin cute for words. I smiled a big dimpled grin, "Why are you so
nervous, Edward? It's not like I'm gonna say no."

He laughed a little and shrugged, "I don't know…it's just…it's our first,
like…official car date and I want it to be nice. You made my first date really perfect
- 814 -
and it's been a year so I think it's time I take you out."

I remembered back to our makeshift date that I put together in his back yard. It
was cheesy as hell but I rocked that shit…I mean, I did get the boy, right?

"I'd like that, darlin'. Do you already have it planned out or…" I trailed off as his
cheeks turned darker.

"Um, yeah…I thought I could take you out to dinner. I saw a place that looked
really nice when we drove into town. Then I thought maybe a movie or something.
Nothing too crazy just…kinda normal. Is that okay?"

I smiled, "Yeah, that sounds good, Eddie. I guess I should go get ready."

He nodded and we turned off the game and made our way upstairs. While he was
in the shower I started going through my clothes, tryin' to find something that was
half way nice…most of my clothes were just lounging clothes.

I swear I didn't own one goddamn pair of jeans that didn't have holes in them. I
really needed to go shopping…I didn't have a fuckin thing to wear. Yeah that may be
girlie as fuck but whatever, I am gay so…ya know what, I don't have to explain
myself, I'm motherfuckin Jay…

As I was lookin' over my sad collection of t-shirts and jeans, the bathroom door
swung open and Edward walked out wrapped in a towel. I was momentarily pulled
away from my clothing dilemma and transfixed on the bronze haired Adonis in front
of me.

He was too fuckin perfect for words and I couldn't help but trail my eyes lazily
over every inch of exposed flesh, silently willing that goddamn towel to come loose
and fall…

He smiled and blushed, "Um, mom had bought you some, um…dressier clothes. I
hung them in the closet if you want to look through them but it's okay if you just
want to wear jeans and a t-shirt, Jay. You always look beautiful no matter what you
wear."

It was my turn to blush a little now, the little fucker callin' me beautiful shouldn't
be able to have that kind of affect on me but…fuck it, I fuckin love when he calls me
beautiful.

I went to the closet and started looking through shit. I smiled when I saw the baby
- 815 -
blue dress shirt. Anytime Esme bought me a shirt, it was always some variation of
blue…she always said they made my eyes 'pop.' Whatever the hell that means…

I pulled it out and found a pair of dark gray, almost black pants that she picked
out as well. Esme had awesome taste. Edward had went into the downstairs
bathroom to get ready so I set my clothes on the bed and hopped in the shower
quickly.

When I got out, I brushed my teeth and wondered if it would be too weird of me to
put some gel in my hair. I looked at my damp curls and sighed cuz I really needed a
fuckin haircut. My hair was past my chin now and a little too long for my taste. I
decided to go for it and grabbed the gel, running just a little through my hair before
washing my hands. I played around with it for a minute until I thought it looked
good, a little more tame than usual but still fuckin wild and awesome…like me.

I chuckled a little to myself as I finished up in the bathroom and went to get

dressed. Everything fit just right and I looked in the mirror as I rolled up the sleeves
on the shirt, leaving a couple of buttons open at the top. I tucked it into my slacks
and put on a dark belt and matching shoes (which Esme had also picked out for me.)

When I was finished, I felt a little strange but checkin' myself out in the mirror…I
made this shit look good. I smiled as I thought to myself…

Damn you clean up nice you sexy son of a bitch…

I admired myself in the mirror for a minute before grabbing my wallet and headin'
downstairs.

I walked into the living room and Edward was sittin' there lookin' like a picture of
fuckin perfection. He looked over at me and I saw his eyes go wide as he slowly
looked me over. I smirked a little cuz I loved the way he was lookin' at me right now.
A low 'fuck' escaped his lips and I smiled, "Later, sugar…ya gotta take me out first."

He stood up and walked over to me and I got the chance to admire him. He looked
incredible in black slacks and a charcoal gray long sleeved shirt with the sleeves
pushed up like mine. His hair was wild but I smiled as I reached up and ran my
fingers through it, noticing that he had tried to tame his as well.

He smiled and ducked his head down a little before lifting his eyes back to mine,
"God, Jasper, you look…beautiful."

I blushed slightly again and smiled back, "Thanks, Edward…so do you. Remind me
- 816 -
to call your mama later and thank her for the clothes. That was real sweet of her."

He nodded, "Yeah…we definitely need to thank her for those clothes…too bad
they're going to be crumpled on the bedroom floor in the morning."

I laughed and he leaned into me, wrapping his fingers into my curls and gently
pulling my lips down to his. He whispered, "Are you sure you don't just want to stay
in?"

I smiled and shook my head as I brushed my lips against his, "Uh uh, babe…I look
too damn good to be stuck in the house all night…maybe if you're a good boy, I'll let
you have your way with me later."

He chuckled and kissed me softly again, "Regardless of if I'm good or bad…I will
have my way with you later."

Fuck, I loved it when he was confident…but I also love a fuckin challenge…

I slipped my arms around his waist, holding him to me tight while my other hand
slid down his backside and grabbed a handful of that porcelain fuckin ass and
squeezing roughly.

He whimpered as his body was suddenly pressed against mine. He looked up at

me through those full dark lashes with those big green eyes.

I smirked slightly and whispered, "We have our roles, Edward. You're the good
boy…I'm the bad boy. Ya know the difference between us?"

He took a quick breath as his pink tongue dipped out over his cherry lips and then
he breathed out, "No."

I slowly walked him backwards until his feet hit the bottom of the stairs. His
breathing hitched as I continued to lie him down and wrapped his legs around me. I
got on my knees between him and rubbed my hard cock against his in slow teasing
soft circles. I started kissing his neck as I whispered, "Good boys go to Heaven…bad
boys take you there…"

He groaned loudly as his head fell back against the stair and I continued sucking
and nipping at his neck while grinding against him.

A minute later I pulled away and smiled as I tried to catch my breath, "I can take
you to Heaven later, baby…right now, ya gotta take my fine ass out to dinner."
- 817 -
 He groaned as he panted against the stairwell and then he laughed breathlessly,
"You're such an asshole…"

I held out my hand to help him up and laughed as he took it, "I know, sugar…it's
really a good thing that I'm so fuckin' hot."

We took a minute to try and will our cocks down…foreign fuckin horny bastards…

And then we finally headed out for the night.

He drove and we talked for a little while about stupid shit. We pulled into a nice
looking French restaurant and he smiled over at me, "Have you ever had French
food?"

I teased him a little, "Well, I've had French fries and French toast…"

He rolled his eyes, "So I take that as a 'no.' I've never had it before either so
hopefully we'll like it."

We made our way into the place and immediately I felt a little uncomfortable. I
had never been to a nice restaurant like this before and I felt like I had a big bright
neon sign above my head, blaring out 'Poor White Trash'.

For the first time ever, I kinda hid behind Edward a little bit as he spoke to the
guy about getting us a table.

The guy said for us to follow him and Edward turned and looked at me a little
confused by my reaction. I just smiled nervously and he smiled back brilliantly as he
twined his fingers with mine and whispered, "Relax, Jay."

I took a breath and walked beside him hand-in-hand to the table. The greeter guy
smiled at us as we sat down and handed us menus before leaving. A minute later the
waiter walked over to us and smiled at Edward. They began speaking French to
each other and I didn't think much of it until I saw the jackass wink. That's when I
noticed…the guy was kinda hot and totally flirting with my motherfuckin boy!

The prick was probably only in his mid to late twenties with dishwater blonde hair
and eyes the color of crap. Well, maybe not crap…probably more like
chocolate…pools of melted chocolate…the fucker.

He leaned down over Edward and smiled while he pointed to something on the
menu. I watched their interaction as Le Douchebag laughed and smiled and Eddie…
- 818 -
my motherfuckin Eddie, was laughin' and blushin' like crazy.

But then…then, Pepe le Pew has the fuckin nerve to put his hand on the shoulder
of my motherfuckin man!

Oh hell no…

All nervousness faded quickly as my natural instinct took over and I growled, "Hey
Monsieur Dickhead? If I was you, I'd move my motherfuckin' hand quick cuz it's
gonna be real fuckin hard to serve people when I rip off your arms and shove them
up your…"

"Jay!" Eddie looked over at me wide eyed and deep red cheeks.

The fucker was scolding me with his eyes and, fuck me, if I didn't immediately feel
bad. I grabbed the menu and glared at it but I kept my mouth shut.

He spoke to the waiter, "I'm sorry about that…can you give us a minute please?"

Francois Fuckhead left and Edward leaned over and pulled the menu down as he
whispered, "Jasper Wayne Whitlock! What the hell was that?"

I cringed a little when the middle name came out, I hadn't even known that was
my middle name for sixteen fuckin years so it was still a little weird…and kinda
reminded me again of how fucked up I was.

He must've seen my reaction cuz he dropped his eyes down and pinched the
bridge of his nose for a second before looking back up. He reached over and laced
my fingers with his as he sighed, "I'm sorry, Jay…but can you tell me what that was
all about?"

I squeezed his fingers a little and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry…I just…you were
flirtin' with that guy. Why would you even do something like that in front of me? Ya
gotta know how I'm gonna react."

He furrowed his brows in frustration, "Jasper, I wasn't flirting with anyone. He

was just asking if this was our first date and telling me how lucky I was to have such
a handsome boyfriend. I was telling him that this wasn't our first date…this was
our…"

He trailed off as his whole face became beet red and I was considerably confused,
"Our what, Edward?"
- 819 -
 He looked down again and pulled his hand away, "I don't want to say."

I immediately reached over and grabbed his hand back, "Edward? Please tell me
what's goin' on…"

He sighed and looked up at me, "It's um…God, I feel really stupid…it's not like it's
a big deal or anything but um…exactly one year ago…you told me you thought you
were in love with me. I guess I kind of took this as our…um…anniversary?"

I groaned as guilt swept hard through me, "Jesus, I am an asshole. I'm sorry,
Edward. I didn't mean to act like such an ass. I'm gonna be a perfect gentleman for
the rest of the evenin'."

He chuckled a little, "It's really not a big deal, Jay…I just thought that…I don't
know, with everything we've been through this year, I just think it's sort of amazing
that we're here…still together…it's silly…"

I smiled, "It's not silly at all, babe, and it is a big deal. Man…it seems like we've
been together forever…can you imagine what it's gonna feel like when we've been
together fifty years?"

He returned a sweet crooked grin and squeezed my hand, "I imagine it all the
time. Happy anniversary, Jay."

"Happy anniversary, Eddie."

The waiter walked back over and kept his distance from me a little as he spoke
uncertainly, "Are you ready to order yet, sir?"

God, I'm a dick…

I hated that I had to do what I was about to do but it was time to be a fuckin man
about it…

I pulled my hand from Edward's and extended it to the nervous looking waiter as I
stood, "I'm really sorry for the way I spoke to you. Please accept my apology for the
way I behaved. I'm Jasper…this is my boyfriend, Edward. It's nice to meet you."

See…I can be a motherfuckin' gentleman…

The nervous look melted away into a warm smile as he took my hand and gave it a
small shake.
- 820 -
 "I'm Joe. Thank you for the apology. I do understand your reaction to a
degree…you boys are both quite lovely but about ten years too young for me. You
see that gorgeous Maitre de behind you?"

He gestured over my shoulder and I turned to see an extremely hot older man
with dark black hair and a scruffy chin looking over in our direction. He smiled
sweetly before turning away and Joe sighed, "Yeah, I'm going home with him later
so…would you like me to tell you gentlemen about today's specials?"

I sat back down and a short time later, Joe sat a plate in front of me that I eyed
suspiciously. I had no idea what it was and it didn't look particularly good. I noticed
Edward do the same thing and we both kinda laughed about it.

I picked up my fork and smiled, "On the count of three?"

He picked up his fork and smiled back, "On three…one…two…three…"

We both scooped up some food and took big bites. Our faces mirrored each other
as we fought to chew the nasty shit up and swallow…grabbing our Coke's and
chugging the stuff down.

Edward's face turned red and he sighed, "I'm sorry…you don't like it, do you?"

There's nothing I wouldn't do for my baby boy so I smiled and forced another bite
down and tried my best not to grimace, "It's not that bad, babe…"

He raised an eyebrow at me in suspicion and smirked, "Really? Well, I was going

to suggest that maybe we could go get a pizza but if you like this…"

I sighed in relief, "Fuck yeah, pizza sounds great."

Eddie went ahead and took care of the bill and we left the restaurant. I felt bad
that we had left but he reassured me that it was no big deal and we had at least
tried the food.

We went down the street to a pizza joint and had a great dinner. I gotta say
though, eatin' buffalo wings in a dress shirt ain't fuckin easy.

When we were done, we made our way to the movie theater. Edward told me to
pick any movie I wanted but I remembered him goin' on for a week about wantin' to
see The Last Airbender cuz he thought the guy who played Sokka was
"mouthwatering." So, I chose that and I had to admit, that Sokka guy was pretty
- 821 -
fuckin fine and the movie was pretty cool in 3D.

When we were leaving the theater, it was still pretty early so we decided to take a
walk down the strip and check shit out when we came across the motherfuckin
jackpot…

"Look, Eddie! They got laser tag, video games, putt putt, and fuckin go karts! Can
we go?"

He smiled at me cuz I was excited…I secretly loved putt putt.

We went in and spent the rest of the night goofin' off. It was a hell of a lot of fun. I
kicked his ass in laser tag, which let me tell ya, ain't easy in fuckin dress pants.

But he got my ass in putt putt, it was his first time playin' so I chalked it up to
beginner's luck. Go karts was pretty interesting cuz we just kept tryin' to run each
other off the road and ended up crashing our cars and losing badly.

And we must've played every damn game they had in that place. Turns out,
Edward is the motherfuckin king of the crane machine. He won me a baby Stewie
from Family Guy and laughed, "What is it about this baby that you like so much?"

I shrugged as I held it and smiled, "I don't know…he's an evil little fucker…if I
ever have a kid, he'll probably make Stewie look like a fuckin angel."

He smiled, "I think your child would definitely be an angel, Jay…like father, like
son."

I gave him a quick kiss for bein' so sweet and we continued playin' around until
the place closed for the night.

On the drive back, we talked some more about nothin' in particular but I loved
every minute of it. Being with Edward was just like breathin'…it was fuckin easy and
comfortable and just second nature. He was my best friend, corny I know, but true.

On the way back, I had a hankerin' for somethin' sweet so when we passed a
pastry shop that was open 24 hours, I smiled, "Hey Eddie?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we get somethin' sweet 'fore we go back? I want chocolate."

- 822 -
 He turned to me and laughed, "You have such a sweet tooth. It's after midnight,
Jay…what would you like?"

I pointed to the shop, "Chocolate."

He smiled and turned into the shop. I was in fuckin' Heaven when we walked in.
Yeah, I had a fuckin' soft spot for sweets.

I got a big ol' piece of Devil's food cake and he got a piece of strawberry
shortcake. We decided to take it back to the house with us and eat there.

Once we got home, we kicked off our shoes before going outside on the back
patio. We sat on the ledge, across from each other and giggled like idiots as we
spoon fed one another.

When we were done, we just sat there awhile talkin and watchin the moon out
over the lake.

"Hey Eddie? I wanted to ask you somethin' but if ya don't wanna talk about it, just
tell me, okay?"

He looked over at me, "Okay, what's up?"

I sighed as I took a drag from my cigarette, "I know how much you love
thunderstorms but…I don't understand why. Like I said, you don't have to talk about
it, if you don't want but…it just seems like you wouldn't like them at all cuz of what
happened to you."

He looked out over the water for a minute and I immediately felt like an ass, "Shit,
Edward, I'm sorry, just forget I asked…"

He sighed, "It's okay, Jay…I can talk about it with you…"

He looked over at me and gave me a small grin, "My love of thunderstorms began
long before that night. Being trapped in that small dark room…I never knew if the
sun was shining or if a breeze was blowing…but when it stormed, I could feel
it…hear it. I remember the sound of the rain beating against the roof and my
window, the sound of the thunder and how it would shake the whole house. It was a
reminder to me that a world did exist outside those four walls. I always felt like God
was telling me that he was still there, even if I couldn't see him. That night in the
trunk, the sound of the rain and thunder comforted me. When my father…um…when
he abused me…it wasn't storming…the sun was shining. My life sometimes feels like
- 823 -
I'm caught in a storm…everything moves so fast around me and I feel like I'm just
hanging on for the ride…especially since you came into my life. But I love it. My life
is kind of crazy now…impulsive…fun. I see and do things I never dreamed of
because of you. Storms are wild and unpredictable but also breathtaking and
magnificent…like you. I see more beauty in storms than I do sunshine."

Fuck, the boy could just fuckin melt me…

I threw out my cigarette and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to
me in-between my knees. His legs came up over mine as we sat face to face on that
ledge.

I sighed and ran my fingers through his soft hair as I whispered, "I love you,
Edward."

He smiled as he brought his hand up and opened his palm to reveal a small box, "I
love you too, Jasper. I, um, bought this for you for your birthday right after I got out
of the hospital. I wanted to wait to give it to you until we got here. So, um…happy
belated birthday, Jay."

My heart caught in my throat a little as I looked down at the box. I whispered, "I
didn't…I thought we were…"

He smiled, "It's okay, Jay. I don't care that you didn't get me anything. I know you
were upset with me at that time. It's not a big deal. Now come on, open it!"

I smiled and took the box, slowly taking off the top. I laughed when I pulled out a
shiny silver Zippo.

"This is perfect, Eddie, thanks."

He turned it over, "I had it engraved…see…"

I looked down at the pretty cursive script engraved and whispered, "My beloved is
mine and I am his. Song of Solomon 2:16."

He blushed, "It's a little silly, I know…but I …"

But I cut him off as I reached out and pulled him to me, tasting those sweet cherry
lips and thanking a God I wasn't even sure I believed in for letting us find each
other.

- 824 -
 He chuckled against my lips, "So, you like it then?"

I smiled back into the kiss and whispered, "Ready to go to bed so you can have
your way with me now?"

He moaned softly before pulling away and standing. He reached out his hand for
mine and smiled, "Come on, bad boy…Heaven awaits."

I took his hand and led him upstairs.

And I'm pretty sure I took my baby boy to Heaven cuz he was screamin' out God's
name until the sun broke through the windows…

A/N: I think one more chapter and I'll skip ahead some until the gang
shows up…

- 825 -
 Chapter 40

Wild Horses by The Sundays and The Story by 30 Seconds to Mars (On my
Youtube play list)

Eddie's POV

I'm awoken by groans and thrashing beside me, lifting my sleepy head, I see my
Love struggling in his sleep.

Muttered pleas and anguished cries fall from his lips and in this fitful state, I can
see clearly the boy he once was…scared and lonely and sorrowful.

I go to wake him when my phone starts ringing. Furrowing my brows, I grab it

and still half sleeping, I grumble, "Good morning, dad."

"Good morning, son. I didn't wake you, did I?"

I shake my head as I pull myself up to a sitting position and wrap my arms around
Jay as he curls into my lap and finally stills, "Um, no…I was up."

He sighed and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice, "Edward…I'm afraid I have
some bad news…Charlotte has passed."

I take a deep breath and tug at my hair for a moment…even if we knew it was
coming, it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Is Peter okay?"

He blew out a breath, "He's…well, not okay but…he's dealing with it as best he
can. We're all pitching in to make sure he's okay…Emmett and Brady stayed with
him last night. Your mother, Rosalie, and Alice are making the funeral preparations
this morning."

We talked for a little while and when I hung up the phone, I called Em.

"Edward?"

"Tommy? Hey man, is Em around?"

- 826 -
 I heard some shuffling and the sound of a door close, "He's asleep, it's been kind
of a long night. I guess you heard…"

Jasper started whimpering again so I began running my fingers through his hair,
separating the soft curls until he settled again.

"Um, yeah…is Peter sleeping too?"

"Yeah, your dad gave him something to help him rest. He hasn't slept hardly at all
the last couple of days. I feel so bad for him."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. I couldn't imagine ever losing Jay.

And then I remembered, "Oh, hey, wasn't there something you wanted to talk to
me about? It sounded like something was on your mind the last time we spoke…"

He sighed, "Uh…sort of…um, is Jasper around?"

I furrowed my brows, "Yeah but he's sleeping…why?"

"I just…miss talking to you. I know it's really stupid but…when we were in the
hospital together and stayed up all those nights talking…I just never really had
someone like you to talk to before."

I ran my fingers through Jay's honey curls and sighed, "Well, you can call me
anytime you want, Tommy. Is there something going on that you wanted to talk
about?"

He chuckled nervously, "Um…well…uh…no, not really…I just…forget it. So, are

you having a good time, Edward?"

I smiled immediately, "Yes, I'm having the most fun I've ever had in my whole life.
Jay is so amazing…"

I proceeded to tell him the things we had done in the last few days, leaving out the
kinky details because he never wanted to hear them.

"So, wait a second…you're telling me that he got pissed off about you supposedly
flirting with the waiter but he admitted to overly flirting with the waitress from the
Mexican place?"

The way he said it made it sound so much worse than it really was, "Um,
- 827 -
yeah…but it was really no big deal…"

"Edward? That's hypocritical. Just because the waitress was a woman doesn't
make it any less wrong. You shouldn't have to put up with that shit…"

I was starting to get a little upset because he was making Jasper out to be some
bad guy, "Tommy, I'm not putting up with anything. Yeah, he messed up but we all
mess up sometimes. He felt bad about it and apologized so I let it go…"

"But that's just it, Edward…you shouldn't have to always let it go. Every fight you
two have, it seems like you're always the one to back down. He doesn't treat you
right…hell, he forgot your anniversary!"

"I don't know what's going on with you, Tommy, but my relationship with Jay is
just fine. Yeah, he's an asshole sometimes, it's just who he is. I accept him, flaws and
all, just like he accepts me. In fact, I love that he's an asshole because the other part
of him, the part that he reserves just for me, is the sweetest most loving person I
have ever known. I don't know what your problem with him is, but if you want to
keep me as a friend, you'd better back off right now."

I heard him take a breath and sigh, "Shit…I'm sorry, Edward. I don't have a
problem with Jay…I've just been going through a lot lately. My, um…my mom called
me last week…"

"Oh? Well, how did it go…what did she say?" I kept my fingers crossed that she
had come to her senses and realized that all of the James bullshit wasn't her son's
fault…that he was a victim.

I heard him sniffle, "Not good…"

I now removed my fingers from Jasper's locks and ran them through mine for a
minute, "I'm so sorry, Tommy…"

His voice was cracking as he whispered with determination, "My mom brought me
the last of my things…said her and dad are moving to another city…she said they're
too ashamed to hold their heads up in town because everyone knows that I'm a
fucked up little queer…said I was probably begging for what James did to me…"

My heart broke for him. I couldn't imagine what I would've done if I lost my
parents over something as horrible and traumatic that he had endured.

I blew out a breath, "Jesus, Tommy…that's all bullshit, you know that, right? What
- 828 -
happened to you, wasn't your fault and you being gay, doesn't make it your fault. I
understand how it feels to think that you somehow caused…those bad things to
happen…but it's all bullshit, man. I'm sorry but your parents are obviously the
'fucked up' ones. There's nothing wrong with you. You're smart and funny and
unbelievably strong…handsome, sweet…"

I could hear him quietly sobbing on the other end as he whispered, "I'm not any of
those things…"

"Yes, you are! Tommy, you're incredible! Anyone would be lucky just to even know
you! In the short time we've known each other, you've become one of my closest
friends. You are worthy of so much more than you realize."

He sniffled and whispered, "You really think that?"

I smiled as I felt Jasper's lips pucker and sweep over my thigh, "Yeah, I do."

"Thanks, Edward. You see? That's why I miss you. You always make me feel better
no matter what stupid shit's going on in my life…"

He was still talking but the feeling of Jay's tongue lapping at my balls and his
fingers wrapping around my hips and clenching my sides, pretty much consumed
every thought I had at the moment.

I managed to respond with a couple of 'yeahs' 'uh huhs' and 'me too' while Jasper's
tongue and mouth worked up my cock until he plunged down on the hardened
length and I groaned loudly.

Tommy sounded concerned as he spoke again, "Edward? You okay?"

My voice was coming out a little breathless now, "Uh…yeah…I'm fine, Tommy, but
I…"

Then Jasper was on his knees and nipping at my neck as he whispered kind of
loud, "Unless Tommy wants to hear you screamin' my name…you should hang up the
phone now, Edward…"

I grunted a low, "Fuck…"

And I heard Tommy do the same.

"I, um…I'll talk to you later, Edward, when you have more time for me…"
- 829 -
 I wanted to feel bad…I know I probably should feel bad…but with Jasper's hard
body against mine and his tongue and lips and hands on my body…all I could feel at
the moment was him.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Tommy...I'll call you soon, okay? Tell Em to call me when he
wakes up. Later, man."

I hung up the phone and threw it at the end of the bed while I clenched Jay's hair
in-between my fingers and dragged his lips to mine.

He growled into the kiss as his fingers clenched my back and ass, pulling me down
as he slid me back into a lying position underneath him.

He presses me into the mattress as his fingers continue to hold me roughly, as if

he was afraid that I might disappear right beneath them.

I released the hold I had on his curls and slid one hand over his shoulder, feeling
his muscles clenching tight in his neck and shoulders. My other hand slid up the
hard planes of his chest until I lay it, palm flat over his heart. It's beating wildly as
his muscles continue to flex and tense. And I realize that his actions are desperate,
needy, and wanton…and as much as I feel the same, I realize that something's
bothering him.

So, I pull my mouth from his and throw my head back into the pillow while his lips
immediately find purchase on my jaw and neck.

I tighten my fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and pant, "Jay? Baby, we
should stop…"

He growls as his hard cock pushes against mine and his voice, rough and raw
whispers, "Don't wanna…"

So, instead of pushing him away, I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him
closer as I breath out, "What's wrong, Jay? Talk to me, baby, please…"

His movements still for a moment as I feel the muscles in his back tighten and
tense again.

His head was against my shoulder as his breathing came out in heavy pants. I took
the opportunity to roll him over onto his back as I now straddled him. I tried to raise
up and look at him but he just held me tighter.

- 830 -
 He was really starting to worry me. I figured it must have something to do with
the dream he had and was about to question him, "Jasper, I'm right here and I'm not
going anywhere so please loosen your grip for just a moment…"

I barely heard the whimper as his fingers relaxed and allowed me to pull up so
that I could look down at him. His eyes were clenched shut and his jaw was locked
and rigid.

I ran my thumb over his plump pink bottom lip and they parted slightly as a huff of
hot air brushed across as he released a breath.

I whispered, "It was just a dre…"

And then his eyes opened and stopped me dead in my tracks. They were bright
sapphire and brilliantly shimmering, tempting to overflow at any moment. Then I felt
his bottom lip quiver underneath my thumb and my breathing hitched. He didn't
have to say a word, I knew what he needed just by the look in his eyes.

I leaned down and took his lips to mine as I now clenched his shoulders and back,
pulling him with me as I lay on my back and bring him back on top of me. His
fingers are gripping my hips again as his tongue swirls around mine and explores
every inch of my mouth.

I free one hand and reach blindly for the nightstand, feeling my way around until I
find the small drawer. Once opened, I retrieve the small bottle of lube and run it
down his back until it reached his hand gripping my ass.

He takes it and breaks the kiss with a gasp for air. His baby blues open and
squeeze back shut, causing a few tears to slip from the corners. I reach up with one
hand and brush the tears away while my other tentatively takes the lube from his
hand.

I pour some on my fingers before wrapping them around his hard length and
pulling the soft skin up and down over his firm steel. I'm rewarded by a low groan
and a pleading, "Edward…baby, we should…"

But I press my other finger to his lips and whisper, "Shhh…we'll talk later, Jay."

His eyes open again and shine with love and gratitude as he finally smiles a little
and whispers, "Thanks, Eddie…"

I smile back and slide my fingers back into his golden curls, pulling his lips to
- 831 -
mine and tasting the sweet and salty honey of his tongue and tears. I stroke him
languidly as his hips move slowly and sensually into my hand and his now wet finger
dips inside of me.

I'm anxious for him to fill me so I mimic his movements and roll my hips up,
causing his finger to slide in and out of me while his hard length slides easily in my
hand and against my own rigid cock.

I'm pushing against him, desperate for more of his touch and am finally rewarded
with another finger.

By the time he feels I'm ready, I am the one who is desperate and needy and
wanton. No words are spoken as I feel his fingers slip out and I let go of his cock as
he grips it and begins rubbing it tortuously slow along the crack of my ass, teasing
my entrance until I can take no more.

I feel him pull the cool cotton sheet over top of us and I look up to see him looking
down at me. For a moment, I'm lost in his beauty. His eyes are like storms of blue
and gray, swirling together in different shades and hues…reminding me of the
internal battle going on behind them right now.

His gaze is intense and I feel so much love radiating from him that it makes my
heart ache from the power behind it. Is it possible to love someone so much that it
hurt?

Yes, it's possible…

He whispers through a shaky, uncertain breath that comes from the real Jasper
hidden underneath the arrogance and attitude, "Please don't ever leave me,
Eddie…"

I reach up and brush the warm tears from his cheek with wide eyes as I whisper,
"I could never leave you, Jay…never…"

His eyes squeeze shut and his lips are on mine as I feel his trembling body begin
to push inside of me. He moves his hips slowly in one smooth motion as he fills me
completely.

I tighten my arms around his neck and kiss him harder, trying to let him know that
I'm here and I'm never going anywhere without him by my side. He lays down on me
so that I feel his weight and the strong planes of his chest against mine. There is not
an inch of space between our bodies as he begins moving in and out of me,
- 832 -
slowly…deliberately…

My flesh is scorching as his slick, hard skin moves against mine…the coolness of
the simple sheet does nothing to squelch the ever growing inferno that began from
the inside and slowly works its way out until I feel him everywhere…from deep
inside my heart and body to his damp, golden curls tickling my cheek and his feet
curling around mine to try and draw himself impossibly deeper within me.

We make love for an eternity until my body is weak and wet and completely
satisfied as he swallows my moans…my sticky nectar covering our stomachs as I
now swallow his moans and feel him cum inside of me, hard and hot.

Our bodies shake and tremble from the intensity as we come down together but
don't move to separate for quite some time afterwards.

Eventually, he pulls his swollen lips from mine and wipes the damp hair from my
forehead and smiles softly as he whispers, "Mine."

I smile back and whisper, "Yours."

We just smile at each other goofily for a minute until he finally gets up and grabs a
wet washcloth to clean us up.

He grabs my hands and pulls me up, "C'mon, babe, let's go take a shower 'fore ya
fall asleep."

My head lulls for a second because, I was in fact, about to fall asleep. But defiantly
I mutter, "I'm not even sleepy, Jay…"

He laughs and helps me trudge into the shower. The warm water and his solid
body encompassed me as I sighed deeply and just curled into his chest with a happy
smile.

We take our time and wash each other and I feel warm and safe by our routine.
Once all the shampoo and soap is flowing down the drain, I look up into his eyes and
finally question, "What was going on earlier with you, Jay?"

He sighs and shrugs, "Nothin' really…I just had a dream that you left me and then
I woke up and heard you tellin' Tommy that he was handsome and sweet…"

Jay and his abandonment issues…

- 833 -
 I finally tell him about Charlotte and what was going on with Tommy, hoping to
squash his fears. He's upset about Charlotte and worried about Peter.

We get out of the shower and both just throw on some pajama pants before we go
downstairs and grab some lunch. It was already late in the afternoon, having spent
the entire morning in bed.

As we're eating, my phone rings and I quickly answer it, "Hey Em…um…how are
you?"

He sighs, "I've seen better days, Ed. Tommy said you called this morning. Have
you told Jasper?"

"Um, yeah. How's Peter?"

"God, Edward…he's just destroyed. She didn't remember him at the very end…but
she passed in her sleep so that comforted him a little. We're all pulling together to
try and take care of everything. I just couldn't imagine…y'know, if it were me and
Rose…God, I hope I go before she does…"

"I know what you mean, Em. Is he still sleeping?"

"Yeah, well he's been in and out all day. He probably won't even be coherent for a
few days, man. When he's awake, all he does is cry and sit out by her garden."

We talked for a little while longer and then Jay talked to him too. He tells us that
he's going to come out in a couple of weeks and we're excited about hanging out
with them again. When we hung up the phone, the mood was somber. We really
didn't do much for the rest of the day but just hang out together, sometimes talking,
sometimes being together in comfortable silence.

When we got the information for the funeral, we had some flowers sent, lilies
because they were her favorite.

The next few days slowly passed and things began to return to normal. We called
and checked in on Peter every day and he was slowly starting to pull himself back
together.

On Friday, it rained all day so we finally had our movie marathon and lounged
around all day again in nothing but our sweats. Jasper knew every freaking word to
Scarface and I laughed as he did his Tony Montana impression because that Cuban
accent mixed with his southern one was absolutely hysterical.
- 834 -
 And he was right, I liked Tony Montana.

He acted like he was going to fall asleep again when we started watching Lord of
the Rings…but an hour into it and he was sitting up next to me eating popcorn and
imitating Gollum.

God, his impressions suck…

By the time the third movie ended, he was wired. I think it was because he really
enjoyed the movies a lot but it could've been the dozen or so beers we drank.

"Holy shit that was fuckin' awesome!"

I smiled, "See, I knew you'd like it. Fucking elves are hot. So, did any of the
hobbits do it for you?"

He smirked, "Sam was kinda cute…all little and pudgy and shit…plus, he would be
the perfect height to just stand on my feet and give me head all day long."

I rolled my eyes, "You have serious issues, sweetheart."

He just shrugged, "Yeah, so I've been told, darlin'."

He went outside to smoke a cigarette and I decided to have a bit of fun with him. I
ran to the linen closet and pulled out a brown sheet. I tied it around my neck like a
cape and then pulled my arms into the button up shirt I threw on so they looked
really short. Then I got down to my knees and stuck them in my shoes, while the
cape covered my feet behind me.

I giggled as I waddled to the patio door…

God, I am going to feel like such a dumbass in the morning…

I knocked on the glass and he turned. He looked confused for a second until he
finally looked down, then he damn near fell over as he started laughing hysterically.

I just stood, well stood on my knees anyway, there until he finally pulled back the
sliding door.

I looked up at him through my lashes with wide eyes and spoke, "It's the cock. You
can't take your eyes off it; I've seen you. You're not eating. You barely sleep. It's
taken ahold of you, Mr. Dildo. You have to fight it."
- 835 -
 He was giggling so hard he could barely speak but he managed to get out, "It's
mine…my own…my precious…"

I leaned against the doorway on one elbow as I ran my hand threw my hair, which
was difficult with short arms. I raised an eyebrow and smirked, "So, you ever had
your dick sucked by a horny hobbit?"

He was laughing so hard he couldn't speak this time. I smiled, "I may be short but
they call me tripod for a reason…"

He wiped the tears from his eyes and his dimpled smile was ingrained to his
beautiful face, "I'll let you suck my dick on one condition…"

I started rubbing my hands together like an evil horny little fucker, "Anything…"

He took a few steps back and laughed, "Walk over here and take it."

I started laughing now as I waddled to him, with my knees still in my shoes. When
I finally reached him, I reached up with my little arms and struggled to free his cock
from the prison of his sweats.

When I saw it, semi hard and beautiful, I licked my lips and grinned, "My precious
…"

He was laughing even as I leaned forward and took him in my mouth. It took me a
minute to get him completely hard because he kept looking down at me and
chuckling.

I lavished his gorgeous cock with attention, swirling my tongue around the plump
head, sucking him deep down my throat and swallowing, moaning around his cock
as mine became rigid and pulsing.

His head was back and his eyes were closed as his fingers tangled in my hair and
he moaned softly into the nighttime sky. The moon over head illuminating his
ethereal form.

When I felt like I might burst, he carefully gripped his cock and pulled it from my
mouth as he tugged my head back by my hair. He smiled, "Shall I impale you with
my stiff steel?"

I chuckled now and raised an eyebrow in challenge, "I shall thwart thy evil
cockery."
- 836 -
 He smirked, "I'm bigger than you, dwarf."

I smirked back, "I'm not a dwarf…I'm a hobbit. The first thing they teach you in
hobbit 101...go for the knees…"

And with that I grabbed his knees and pushed him back. He fell into the pool
behind him with a loud splash and I started laughing my ass off.

Until he came up and gasped as he moved the wet curls from his eyes, "Oh, you're
dead, Cullen!"

I let out a small yelp and tried to turn to run, but I was still on my knees and got
all tangled up in my damn cape.

The next thing I knew, his hands were wrapped around my legs, dragging me into
the pool. I fought and tried to grasp onto the ground as he pulled me. I gasped out
laughing, "Give it up, Whitlock!"

He laughed as he pulled harder, "Oh, you're gonna give it up, Cullen! Just as soon
as I get'cha in this damn pool!"

He eventually pulled me in and dunked me. When I surfaced, we were both

laughing hysterically.

He swam to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Time to give it up,
Cullen."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled, "You want it? Take it, Whitlock."

He smiled as his hands went down and gripped my sweats, tugging them down
and off. I did the same to him and we threw them up on the patio with a wet thud.
He was already completely naked as he began unbuttoning my shirt and pulled it off.
I reached up and started to undo the cape and he swatted my hands away, "Uh
uh…the cape stays on."

I laughed for a moment until I felt my back hit the wall and he was lifting my legs
to wrap around his waist.

He smiled as he trailed his hand down my back until he pressed a finger inside of
me from underneath. I groaned as my head fell back against the ground outside the
pool. He continued to stretch me until I was writhing against his hand, the stupid
cape long forgotten.
- 837 -
 Then his fingers were gone and replaced by the thick head of his dick pushing up
inside of me. Now, I threw my head forward onto his shoulder as he filled me. The
cool water was such an amazing contrast to the heat of his body and the brisk
breeze in the air.

His hands were on my ass as he pulled out almost all the way and then slammed
back into me. I gasped as the water sloshed all around us and I hang onto him with
everything I had as he fucked me hard and fast against the wall of the pool.

I loved to be fucked like this by Jasper. He was incredible and I couldn't imagine
that anyone could ever be as good as he was. He was the fucking Obi Wan of the
cock…he knew how to use the Force…

Damn, I'm drunk…right there, baby…fuck…the Force is strong in this one...

"Harder, Jay! Faster, baby! Fuck me! Oh God yes, fuck me, Jay!"

So, I was a little vocal when I was drinking…I'm sure he didn't mind.

I was rewarded when he grasped the edge of the pool and started fucking me into
oblivion, grunting and cursing into my neck as he bit down. I screamed out as I
came just from the friction of our bodies and was soon followed by him releasing
deep inside of me while screaming my name.

We just held onto each other for awhile until we could get our breathing back
under control. When I finally pulled away to look into his eyes, I grinned, "So, have
you ever seen the Star Wars movies because I think you'd really like them?"

He laughed and held me tighter, "No, I haven't, darlin' but we already got a pink
light saber…"

I smiled into his neck as my eyes got unbelievably sleepy. I yawned, "Maybe we
can go to Wal-Mart tomorrow and buy them."

I felt him kiss my cheek and whisper, "Love you, Eddie. Sweet dreams, baby boy."

I woke up the next morning, alone. I whispered, "Jay? Jay, baby, where are you?"

I didn't hear anything coming from the bathroom or downstairs. I pulled myself up
from the bed and grabbed a pair of his basketball shorts that were lying on the floor.
I yanked them up as I stumbled sleepily and yawned as I scratched my hair and
made my way down the stairs.
- 838 -
 I looked out back but he wasn't out there smoking a cigarette. I passed a vase full
of some kind of strange flowers on the kitchen table so I knew he had to be around
somewhere. I was starting to get concerned until I heard music coming from the
front.

I squinted as I pulled open the front door and was met with the blinding sun. I
grunted as I grabbed my sunglasses and slipped them on. I had a bit of a headache
from last night as images of hobbits and capes came barreling at me. I felt my whole
body turn red and vowed to never bring it up…hopefully, he wouldn't remember.

I looked out and had to lift my glasses to get a good look.

Instant boner…

He was barefoot, wearing only a pair of low slung jean shorts while he leaned over
my car and was currently washing the hood. The doors were open and the music
was on. He was sweaty and golden and wet…it was downright sinful.

He finally realized I was gawking at him as he looked up at me and smiled that

beautiful dimpled grin, "Hey babe! I was wonderin' how long you were gonna sleep."

I just swallowed and nodded as he grabbed the water hose and started spraying
off the suds. I reached down to adjust myself before walking over to him, "Um…what
are you doing?"

Apparently the stupidity of last night is still carrying forward to today…nice…

He smiled, "Washin' your car. It was kinda filthy. I hope ya don't mind but I took it
this mornin' and went out to get the stuff to change your oil. I figured it needed it
since we ain't done it since you picked me up."

Again I nodded, "Oh…that's nice. Thank you, Jay."

He shrugged, "No problem, babe. So, you feelin' like refried shit this mornin'?"

I sighed, "Um, yeah…I have a bit of a headache."

He dropped the hose and walked into the garage, returning with a bottle of water
and two pills in his hand, "Here, Eddie. I figured you'd be feelin' like warmed over
hell when ya woke up so I got ya some aspirin at the store."

I smiled at the gesture, "Thanks, Jay." I took the pills and quickly swallowed them.
- 839 -
 "Would you, um…do you want me to help?"

He grabbed the towel and started drying the now sparkling Volvo, "Nah…you
don't feel good, baby, so why don't ya just relax. I'm almost done for now. I'll wax it
after we eat and change the oil later on when it cools down some."

I couldn't help but give him a crooked grin, "Okay, well would you like some
lemonade? I can go and make some?"

He smiled over at me as his honey curls hung over his baby blues, "That'd be
great, darlin'. I'll be there in just a minute."

I nodded and went back into the house. I quickly went in and started making the
lemonade. I cut the lemons easily and didn't even realize that I had no trouble doing
it until they were done. No shaking, no memories, no panic attacks. It was a small
victory but a victory nonetheless.

My headache eased up some by the time Jay came into the kitchen. I handed him a
glass filled with ice and lemonade. He smiled a breathless, "Thanks, babe," and
quickly downed it. I took it from him and refilled it.

He was working on that one when I grabbed a kitchen towel and wetted it under
the sink. I wrung it out well and pulled out a kitchen chair, "Here, Jay…sit down,
babe."

He sat and I laid the cold towel across his shoulders and began massaging them.
He sighed and closed his eyes, "Mmm…that feels good, Eddie."

I smiled, "Good…ya know, Jay, we could've taken the car to a carwash…there was
no need for you to work so hard this morning."

His eyes remained closed as he sipped his lemonade and sighed, "I don't mind a
little hard work, darlin'…besides, you're shiny, silver Volvo wasn't shiny no more and
we just can't have that, now can we?"

I chuckled, "You like the Volvo…admit it."

He opened his eyes and laughed as he grabbed my arm and pulled me onto his
lap. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, "I reckon I like it alright…I
mean, you did lose your V-card in it so I s'pose I should keep it lookin' and runnin'
good."

- 840 -
 I smiled as I laid my head on his shoulder, "You take good care of me."

He held me tight and I felt his lips against my neck, "That's my job, baby boy…I'll
always take care of you."

I finally pulled away from his neck and took his lips to mine. The kiss was soft and
sweet as he smiled into it, "Mornin', darlin."

I smiled back, "Good morning, babe."

After a minute, I got up and refilled his glass for him again while he started
making us some sandwiches. As we sat down at the kitchen table, I remembered,
"Oh, hey…are these flowers for me?"

His dimples broke through and his cheeks tinted, "Yeah…actually, I stopped at a
nursery and got 'em…sort of a late anniversary gift. I'm really sorry I forgot,
Eddie…I swear it won't happen again."

I reached out and ran my finger down the white petal, "It's okay, Jay. It's
pretty…what is it?"

He smiled, "It's called honeysuckle."

I raised an eyebrow, "Well, I like the name."

He laughed and reached out to pluck a flower from the stem. I gasped, "Hey!"

He just chuckled again, "Trust me, sugar…you're gonna appreciate this…close

your eyes."

I furrowed my brows but did as he asked. Then I felt something soft against my
lips and he whispered, "Now, suck."

I raised an eyebrow and he laughed again, "C'mon, Eddie…suck it, baby,

please…."

I felt myself begin to harden and tentatively began, well, sucking.

I was pleasantly surprised as I drank in a sweet honey nectar. My eyes flashed

open and I smiled, "Is that honey?"

He laughed, "Yep…I thought you'd like it. When I was a kid, my granny had tons of
- 841 -
this stuff growin' all around. I used to pluck all the flowers off and drink 'em down
all day long. I remembered it this mornin' and thought you might like them."

I was amazed, a honey flower…how awesome was that!

"Thank you, Jay…I love them."

"You're welcome, baby…and I'm also gonna take ya out tonight since I kinda
screwed up our anniversary date."

I smiled as we began eating, "Where are we going?"

He shook his head, "Nope, it's a surprise. You're gonna have to wait till we get
there."

I pouted a little but then let it go. After we finished eating, I went out and helped
him wax my car. Then he taught me how to change my oil. Although I found it
insanely sexy when he did it…it wasn't really my thing.

After we did all that, we took a long cool bath and just laid there for awhile in the
tub. Eventually, we pulled ourselves out and were eating dinner when my phone
rang. I frowned at the number, "Um, Jay…it's your Aunt Barb's house."

He grabbed the phone and looked at it for a second, "Um…it's probably

Jeremiah…just put it on speaker phone and answer it. If it ain't him…just…hang up."

I nodded and took a breath as I hit the speaker button, "Um…hello?"

"Hey there you pretty mother fucker…is Jay around?"

I laughed and Jay sighed in relief, "What's up, Cuz?"

Jeremiah sighed, "Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Cuz…but the
shit…has hit…the fan."

My heart stopped and Jay frowned, "What's goin' on?"

"That fuckin' bitch been runnin' her mouth again…been tellin' everybody that'll
listen that you're…um, y'know…into dudes and shit…said she seen you outside the
bar with a guy…"

Jay's head dropped and he growled, "Fuck! Does daddy know yet?"
- 842 -
 "Uncle Wayne knows, man. Ya know shit spreads like wildfire in this shit town.
Good news is, your little cousins Suzie, Jenny, and Laura Lu, caught her outside the
Wal-Mart and whooped her mother fuckin' bitch ass!"

He was rubbing his temples as he spoke quietly, "That was kinda nice…tell 'em I
said thanks. What'd daddy say? Does he believe her? Is he gonna kill me?"

"Well…he ain't happy, Cuz. He ain't said one way or the other if he believes it or
not. Told me that if I hear from ya…that ya got till Monday to call him or else he's
gonna call ya in as a runaway and contact them cops in Washington to talk to
Eddie's parents."

I dropped my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. Jay groaned, "Fuck…what
the fuck am I gonna do?"

Jeremiah sighed, "Sometimes, man…ain't nothin' you can do but hold your head up
high and take it like a man. Guys like us, Jay…we do what we gotta do…not what we
wanna do. Call him…I know he's pissed as hell right now and I know Uncle Wayne is
the biggest son of a bitch this side of Texas…but he…well, shit, man…he's been
worried as fuck about you."

Jay laughed humorously, "He ain't ever worried bout me a day in my life…"

"That ain't true, Cuz…when you was with your mama, he always talked about how
much he worried bout ya."

Jay rolled his eyes, "If he was so worried then why didn't he take me from mama?
Why does he live to beat the shit out of me? The fucker don't give a fuck about me."

"Jay, your daddy has a lot of problems, man…you ain't been around him all his life
like I have…I can't answer them questions but maybe he can. All I'm sayin' is…call
him before Monday…try not to blow up…give him a chance to talk without bein' a
smartass. I ain't sayin' he's gonna turn into Bill fuckin Cosby and shit…wearin'
sweaters and dancing' 'round like a jackass…but he can be alright sometimes. Listen
to your old Cuz now, son…I'm older, better lookin', smarter, and have a much bigger
dick than you…I know what I'm talkin' about."

Jay rolled his eyes again but laughed a little, "You're such an asshole…"

Jeremiah laughed, "I'm a Whitlock, fucker…it's part of the charm…"

I spoke now, "Um…Jeremiah?"

- 843 -
 "What's up, pretty boy?"

I smiled and blushed, "Um…do you think, um…do you think Jay's father will make
him come back to Texas?"

He blew out a breath and sighed, "Probably. I'm sorry, man. I'm doin' my best to
put out all the fires that bitch started but Uncle Wayne's stubborn as a barnyard
mule so he probably ain't gonna bend much on this one…"

I gulped and felt my heart racing and my breaths becoming shallow. I squeezed
my eyes shut and tried to calm myself down. A moment later, I was being pulled into
Jay's lap as he ran his fingers through my hair and whispered, "Shh…calm down,
sugar…everything's gonna be okay. Just calm down, baby."

I held onto him and breathed in his honey scent…it helped as I willed myself to
breathe.

Jay sighed, "Hey thanks for the heads up, man…you still leavin' in a few days?"

"Yeah, on Wednesday. Mama's havin' a barbecue for me tomorrow so your daddy

will be here if you wanna call. Sorry for fuckin' up your night and shit, Cuz. You take
care there, pretty boy. I'll talk to ya'll later."

"Later, Cuz."

"Bye, Jeremiah."

I hit the end button and sighed, "What are we going to do, Jay?"

He smiled but it didn't reach his dimples, "Well…you're gonna go get ready and
then I'm gonna take you out for our anniversary."

"Maybe we shouldn't go out tonight."

He shook his head, "I gotta talk to my dad tomorrow, Edward…I need to go out
tonight. C'mon, it'll be fun…let's just go out and blow off some steam. You're gonna
like what I have planned, okay? I promise, baby."

And then I realized that he was sending me away to get ready by myself so he
could have some time alone to think. So I gave him my best smile and nodded,
"Okay, Jay. Is jeans okay?"

- 844 -
 "Yep, just wear somethin' nicer than a t-shirt, darlin'."

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes."

I pulled myself up from his lap and ran upstairs. It didn't take me too long to put
on a nice pair of dark jeans and a white button up shirt. I played with my hair for a
few minutes and then went downstairs to find him.

I saw him sitting on the back patio with his guitar in his lap, facing out towards
the water. I carefully slid open the patio door and slipped out unnoticed. His hair
was pulled back at the nape of his neck and I just had to walk around to the side so
that I could see his stunning face. I had never seen his hair off of his face before like
that and I must say that I really liked it.

He was strumming softly with his eyes closed, still unaware of my presence. A
minute later he started playing a song and singing out into the nighttime air. His
voice was haunting and beautiful as he sang softly…

"I've been thinking of everything I used to want to be…I've been thinking of

everythingOf me, of you and me…This is the story of my life…This is the story of my
life…"

I watched in silent awe as he swayed back and forth, eyes closed and completely
lost in his music.

"I'm in the middle of nothing and it's where I want to be…I'm at the bottom of
everythingthat I finally start to believe…"

He was incredible…

"This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…"

My skin erupted in goose bumps as his voice just poured emotion out, thick and
muddy and absolutely mesmerizing.

"And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself
in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find
myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…In the end…In the
end…In the end…In the end…"

It was amazing to me how much of himself he gave when he sang and played his
guitar. The raw emotion and lingering passion just flowed from him like a sieve.
- 845 -
 "This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…This is the story of my
life…These are the lies I have created…This is the story of my life…These are the
lies I have created…"

When he was finished, I was surprised to hear some cheering and catcalls. I
looked out towards the beach to some girls who were hollering about how good he
was...and how hot he was. He blushed slightly and put his head down and I smiled,
"I can't leave you alone for five minutes before the fan girls descend."

He looked over at me now and I was graced with perfect dimples, "It don't matter
what they think, baby…I'm on your team."

I laughed, "Team Edward?"

He smirked, "Nope…Team Tripod. Now, c'mon, pretty boy…we got ourselves a hot
date to go on."

I blushed deeply and mumbled, "Damn, I was hoping you were too drunk to
remember that."

He laughed, "Shit, baby…I took pictures…I ain't ever gonna forget that."

I groaned, "Pictures? Seriously? Ugh…this date better be good."

He set his guitar down and wrapped his arms around me, "I promise, Eddie…it's
gonna be a night you'll never forget."

I smiled and hardened just a little bit as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along.

I wonder where he's taking me…

- 846 -
 Chapter 41

Did you miss me? I'm back. Thanks for all the reviews and PM's. I'm gonna
respond to all of the PM's but I just got my internet hooked up today so it
will be a little bit. For those of you who haven't read my LL outtake, check it
out. The link is on my profile. I'm also getting ready to post a new short
story called Dazed and Confused: A Love Story. It will only be four or five
chapters. It started as a o/s for the FGB auction but I'm gonna do it as a
short story so I can add some more details. Anyway, thanks for waiting so
patiently. I will be updating regularly again, once every one-two weeks.

Playlist: That's How Strong My Love Is by Otis Redding, Not Gonna Get Us
by t.A.T.u

Jay's POV

I pushed all the stupid bullshit about my daddy outta my mind and focused on
making this night incredible for my baby boy. I may have the world's biggest
dick…but I felt like the world's biggest dick for forgetting our first anniversary.

I just hoped he didn't freak out too much…

Nah, Eddie's gonna love this shit!

I pulled onto the side of the street about half a block away from where we were
going. It looked like the place was pretty packed and I prayed like hell that my cocky
ass attitude didn't backfire this time.

Edward smiled as he looked around, "Where are we, Jay?"

I flashed my trademark dimples at him cuz I wasn't sure if he'd be mad and so I
figured I should pull out all the ammo I got…

"Well, darlin'…I may have to do a little flirtin' to get us in but I promise that it
don't mean nothin' and ya know, you can help if ya want or you can just stand there
lookin' all pretty and shit cuz that'll probably work just as well…"

I was pulled from my rambling by a snap of his fingers, "Jay? Quit rambling. What
is this? A club or something?"

- 847 -
 I let out a breath, "Yep, a club. Let's go."

I started to get out as his eyes began surveying the scene around us and I could
see his inner gears working, "Wait, Jay…is this an…um…like a bar kind of nightclub?
I mean, do they, um…serve alcohol?"

I kept my answer simple for fear that he might really freak out on me, "Yes."

Then I watched as the dawn of realization washed over his face and his eyes grew
wide as he gasped, "A gay club? You brought me to a gay club? What the hell,
Jasper?"

I put my hands on his shoulder, "Edward? I've never been to a gay club. Neither
have you. I wanted our night to be something new for both of us…something we
could learn about and experience together."

And I wanna see if I can get you to dance with me in front of everybody…

He rolled his eyes, "Are you sure it's not just because you want to get me drunk
enough to actually dance?"

Freaky mind reading shit…

I remembered one night when we were thirteen, after our first kiss, there was a
dance at school that we were talkin about. Edward admitted to me that he had never
danced, nor did he ever have any desire to dance. I figured it was cuz he didn't know
how to dance and I came close to askin' if I could teach him but then I thought that
was a really strange thought so I kept my mouth shut. But now…

I smiled, "Do you know how to dance, babe?"

His cheeks turned crimson and he huffed a little as he looked cautiously out the
window, "Well…no…"

I laughed and reached over and ran my thumb down his cheek before gently
pulling his chin towards me so I could see his pretty green eyes, "I could teach ya…if
ya want?"

He gave me his crooked grin, "I'm sure you could, um…do you think we can even
get in?"

I shrugged, "Beats the hell outta me but I thought, y'know…fuck it, carpe diem
- 848 -
and all that shit..."

He grimaced a little and I quickly added, "We don't have to try if ya don't want, we
could just go somewhere else…"

He shook his head, "No, we can try…I mean, I am a little curious…but I don't
know if I'll feel comfortable enough to dance and even if we manage to get in, I still
don't see how we'll get alcohol…"

I smirked, "You and me, Eddie…we can get anything we want. C'mon, babe…"

I got out of the car and walked around, opening his door and grabbing his hands,
pulling him out. I put my arm around him and whispered, "Relax, baby…"

He took a deep breath and nodded as we walked up to the guy at the front door.

The guy looked at us with a raised eyebrow and I leaned into Edward's ear and
whispered, "Use the crooked grin, Eddie…"

He lifted his head and put on that beautiful crooked grin with just a hint of blush
in his cheeks and my weapon of choice was dimples.

The guy smiled, "Good evening, gentlemen…do you have ID?"

I shook my head and decided to pull out the arsenal, making sure my curls fell in
front of my eyes just a little and laying thick into my southern drawl, "Well, no sir,
we don't have our ID with us tonight…we're just here on vacation and thought that
maybe this would be a good place to have a little fun…"

He grinned, "Well, what kind of fun are you boys looking for tonight?"

I started to speak when Edward interrupted, "Um…we're boyfriends and we're in

love…so we're not looking for that kind of fun…"

The guy smiled and it seemed like the people standing by broke out in 'Awws' and
'How sweets' and started calling out for the guy to just let us in.

Edward blushed and buried his face into my shoulder.

"Okay, you two are just too adorable for words…I'll let you in on one condition…"

I raised an eyebrow as I brushed my fingers through Eddie's hair, "What's that?"

- 849 -
 "I get off here in three hours…I want to dance with him."

He motioned towards Edward and I could feel my blood starting to boil, "I don't…"

But Edward looked up and smiled, "Um, okay, that sounds fair."

I was getting ready to probably say something I shouldn't say so he clamped his
hand over my mouth and mumbled, "Thanks," before pushing me into the club.

When he let go of my mouth, I furrowed my brows, "What the fuck, Edward?

You're really gonna dance with that prick…"

He smiled, "Jasper, he gets off in three hours…that gives us two and a half hours
before we have to leave."

I let out a breath, "Oh…okay then."

I smiled and leaned into him for a quick kiss. He blushed and we finally started
looking around us. The place was packed with men. All kinds of men. Older,
younger, short, tall, hot, ugly as sin, half clothed, drunken, happy dancing men.

Edward looked around for a minute before just wrapping his arms around me and
burying his head in my chest again, "Wow…there's a lot of…um…people in here."

I nodded, "Yeah…let's go find a table and just chill for a little while, okay?"

This was a completely new environment for him and while I wasn't all that
uncomfortable, I knew that he was because he wasn't used to being in crowds of
people…especially gay men.

He turned in my arms with his back to my chest and I just kept my arms wrapped
around his waist as we pushed our way through the people. We were walking by a
table that had some younger guys sitting there and one looked up and smiled, "Hey
are you guys looking for a table?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

He motioned for us to join them, "It's pretty packed tonight, you can sit with us."

I pulled out a chair and sat down mumbling "Thanks."

I pulled out the chair next to me but smiled when Edward just plopped down on
- 850 -
my lap with his arm around my shoulders. I figured he must've needed to be close to
me to handle being around so many people.

The guy who invited us smiled as he pushed his brown hair from his eyes, "Hey,
I'm Joe…this is Trevor…"

He went around and introduced us to everyone and I smiled, "I'm Jay…this is my

boyfriend, Edward."

That's right, fuckers, my boyfriend so don't even think about it…but then again,
they probably figured that out since he's all curled up in my lap right now.

We all talked a little and these guys were actually pretty cool. They were going to
Michigan University and were here for vacation before the semester started. I
offered to pay for the next round of drinks if they would buy cuz I didn't wanna
chance getting carded. They agreed so I smiled up at Eddie whose eyes were
currently looking around in a mixture of excitement, curiosity, and awe, "Hey
darlin', what'cha wanna drink?"

His face was flushed as he mumbled quietly, "Um…I don't know…uh…beer?"

I smiled, "Baby, you don't really like beer that much…why don't you get a
margarita or somethin'?"

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Will that make me look too girly?"

I chuckled and whispered, "Eddie, we're in a gay bar surrounded by grown men in
boy shorts and angel wings…"

He laughed for a second before furrowing his brows a little like he was in deep
thought, when Trevor smiled, "Try a Hurricane, Edward…you can barely taste the
alcohol."

He nodded, "Okay…I'll try it. What about you, Jay?"

I shook my head, "I'll just have a Coke."

He looked at me confused, "You aren't drinking?"

"No, baby, I gotta drive us home. You go ahead, baby boy, get fucked up…don't
worry, I'll enjoy the benefits later."

- 851 -
 Drunk Edward = Horny as Fuck Edward

I smirked and he rolled his eyes with a sweet laugh. The waitress brought out the
drinks a few minutes later and he sipped happily, "Mmm…this is so good!"

Everyone talked for awhile and the more Edward drank, the more comfortable he
got. He was talking and starting to dance around a little in my lap. I paid attention
to the guys at the next table over in order to not throw Edward down over this table
and fuck the ever lovin' daylights outta him right here in front of everyone.

The guys at the next table were older, probably thirties or some shit…the thing
that made them stand out to me over everyone else was that you could see how
madly in love they were. They were facing each other, always touching…running
fingers through the hair and sliding the fingers up and down their arms…they were
so lost in each other that nothing around them seemed to even register. Sometimes
they didn't even have to speak, one would give the other a 'look' and the other one
would nod knowingly and usually laugh…absorbed in they're own little private jokes
and stories.

I hoped that me and Edward would be like that someday. That even after fifteen or
twenty years of each other…we would still get be so crazy in love…completely
captive of one another.

Son of whore that feels good…

He was now bouncing on my lap as he closed his eyes and got lost in the music.
Just then some guy walked up and smiled as he reached out and tapped Edward's
shoulder, "If this boy won't take you out on the dance floor, honey, then why don't
you let a real man like me take you?"

Oh hell no…

Edward's eyes were wide as he tightened his fingers around mine, which were
tightening into a fist.

I wanted to hit the guy…that was my first instinct…but I didn't really wanna bring
any trouble in on us so I kept my calm.

I looked up at Edward and smiled, "Will you stand up for a minute, baby?"

His eyes pleaded with me so I reassured him, "It's gonna be okay, Eddie, don't
worry."
- 852 -
 He reluctantly stood and then I stood face to face with this old arrogant retard
who thought he actually had a fuckin' chance with my motherfuckin' boy…

I was actually a couple inches taller than him so I just put on my best 'fuck you'
smile and spoke down to him, "Because I promised that I'd be good tonight…I'm
gonna go against my very fuckin' nature and not beat the fuck outta you…but if I
hear one more motherfuckin' word from you…I'm gonna rip your body limb from
limb and burn the fuckin' pieces…so, go ahead…ask my boyfriend if he wants to
dance again."

The guy just stared at me wide eyed for a moment before turning around and
stomping off. I sat back down and pulled Edward in my lap again. He smiled, "You
are so jealous."

"Edward, in case you haven't noticed…I'm fuckin' possessive of shit that belongs
to me. You fuckin' belong to me. Besides don't act like you're not jealous…if
someone came over and asked me to dance, I'm sure I'd have to hold you back."

He shook his head, "Nah…I know you're mine so…"

Just then some man came up and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned my head
just in time to hear Edward growl, "Back off, he's mine!"

The guy held his hands up, "Uh, sorry…I actually just wanted to know if we could
have that chair you're not using?"

I smirked at Eddie as he ducked his head sheepishly into my shoulder. I laughed,

"Yeah, man…go ahead and take it."

The guy grabbed the chair and left. I wrapped my arms around my boy, "Not
jealous at all, huh?"

He chuckled against my neck, "Well, maybe just a little."

We both laughed for a minute and then I brushed my lips against his ear and
whispered, "Wanna dance?"

He stiffened a little and cleared his throat, "Uh…I don't really know how…"

I laughed softly and pulled his chin up so I could look in those pretty green eyes,
"Bullshit, Eddie…you've been bouncing around on my lap for half an hour
now…c'mon, baby…dance with me…please?"
- 853 -
 He took a deep breath and slowly stood. I laced my fingers with his and pulled him
out onto the dance floor. Truth be known, I had never danced before to this kind of
music. It was like some fast club music but any excuse to rub up against Eddie was
good enough for me.

He stood in front of me and anxiously looked around at all the people surrounding
us. I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled his body flush with mine. That got
his attention as he brought his pretty eyes up to mine. I smiled, "The only thing I
want you to see, hear, and feel is me, alright? It's just you and me…nobody else can
get in."

He nodded and his eyes stared into mine. His eyes were unlike anything I had ever
seen before…they were completely captivating and I found myself taking a deep
breath so that I could focus.

His arms were around my neck and his body was pressed against mine. The music
was fast and the beat was pounding but I figured we should start out slow.

He whispered into my neck, "The music is too fast, Jay…what if I can't do it?"

Luckily, I was always prepared…like a good soldier always should be. I pulled out
my Ipod and Edward raised an eyebrow. I smiled, "First, you can abso-fuckin-lutely
do it, Edward. You can do anything you wanna do. Second, I figured we should start
out on something slow."

He smiled and nodded as I flipped through the songs. When I found one I thought
it would be easy to dance to, I put one bud in his ear and the other in mine. When it
started playing, he looked at me questioningly and I just smiled, "Don't judge me."

He laughed and laid his head on my shoulder as Otis Redding played. I started
moving slowly to the music and he followed suit…only he was very rigid and would
barely move.

I smiled and brought my hands to his waist, "Edward? I know you can move your
hips better than that…c'mon, baby boy…dance with me…"

I started moving his hips and I watched as his eyes closed and he let out a breath.
It took him a minute but then he began moving with me on his own. My knee slipped
between his legs and I could feel him growing hard against my hip. His arms
tightened around my neck as my lips went to his.

We kissed softly as his fingers separated my curls and mine brushed along his
- 854 -
back underneath his shirt. And we danced…not at all to the beat of the song that
everyone else was dancing to but we were so lost in each other that it didn't really
matter…which isn't all that uncommon for us.

When the song ended, he smiled at me, "I liked that."

I smiled back, "Oh yeah? The song or dancin' with me?"

He ducked his head and I saw a faint blush cover his cheeks, "Both."

We sat back down cuz he wanted another drink and I wanted a cigarette. I pulled
him into my lap and he laughed, "Aren't I crushing you yet? I could get a chair…"

He started to stand and I yanked him back down and wrapped my arms around his
waist, "Uh uh…sit your pretty ass down here, baby."

He giggled and began sipping on his next drink. As he worked on that, one of the
guys at our table leaned over, "Hey man, we're going to go out back and smoke…you
guys want to come?"

I nodded, "Hell yeah."

I couldn't drink but a motherfuckin' joint would hit the spot right now.

Eddie downed his drink and laced his fingers through mine as we walked out
through the back of the club. One of the guys lit up a joint and soon enough, I was
feeling much more relaxed.

I raised an eyebrow when Edward took the joint. He shrugged, "Do you care?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not your fuckin' dad, man…you don't have to ask my
permission for anything. I just want you to let loose, Eddie…have some fun…do
stupid shit…be a fuckin' teenager."

He smiled and blushed again as he took a big hit from the joint. But it was too big
and he immediately started hacking.

I rubbed his back, "Ya gotta take baby hits, Eddie…I know you smoked with that
douche bag back home but…"

He coughed out, "I didn't inhale…"

- 855 -
 Now I laughed, "Seriously? Then why were you even smoking?"

He looked up at me through blood shot eyes and smiled sheepishly, "I was trying
to make you jealous but was too afraid to do it without you."

Aww…sweet little fucker…

When the joint came back around to me, I smiled, "Okay, Eddie…I'm gonna teach
you how to do a shotgun."

He furrowed his brows and I just smiled, "It won't be as harsh on you, okay babe.
Just inhale and hold the smoke as long as you can when I press my lips to yours,
okay?"

He nodded and stood there, concentrating all hard and shit…it was fuckin'
adorable.

I put the cherry in my mouth and wrapped my lips around the joint so that just the
end was sticking out between my lips, then I grabbed him by the back of the neck
and pulled his lips to mine. As soon as I felt them, I started blowing out slowly so he
could breathe the smoke in. I held the hair at the nape of his neck and his hands slid
around my waist and then into my back pockets as he pressed me against the wall.

He groaned against my lips and I felt him hard and thick against me. He slowly
pulled away and those pretty green eyes were half lidded, looking so fuckin' sexy
that I couldn't help myself. He was still holding the smoke behind those cherry lips
and my mouth was fuckin' watering cuz the thought of the taste of Edward's mouth
and some bud…

I handed the joint off as I grabbed him by the back of his neck and brought his lips
to mine again. His lips parted easily and the smoke slowly seeped out between us as
we kissed. But he was so worked up that he stumbled into me until my back hit the
wall again. We both laughed a little but we didn't stop kissing. And he tasted fuckin'
incredible.

Pot and Edward's tongue…mmm…

His hands slid into my back pockets again and pulled me into him. One of my
hands twisted in that crazy bronze hair while the other trailed down his chest and
stomach and on it's way to wrap around that hard, thick…

"Holy shit, I'd like to be in the middle of that sandwich!"

- 856 -
 Edward pulled away and both of us were panting as we looked over. It had
escaped our attention that we were surrounded by a ton of people during our little
make out session.

Joe was laughing, "You two are crazy! I have never seen any two people into each
other more than you!"

Trevor smiled, "Joe, look at them. I can understand why they get so worked up."

Edward's whole face was red and he buried his head into my shoulder. I
whispered in his ear, "They're just teasing us, Edward. Remember what I taught you
back when we were in Junior High? Attitude is everything."

He nodded and took a deep breath before lifting his head. Then I watched as he
flipped the switch, just like he used to do when we spent our first summer together.

He smiled that sexy crooked smile and his eyes were brilliant as he smoothly said,
"That's all you get for free…if you want to see the rest of the show, it's going to cost
you."

Everyone's eyes went wide and I laughed, "Nice, Edward."

He started laughing and soon everyone else was too. I wrapped my arm around
him and we walked back inside. He whispered into my ear, "Thanks for the save,
Jay."

I smiled, "Anytime, Eddie."

Then his familiar blush came to his cheeks again as he smiled, "By the way…that
shotgun was fucking awesome."

Some of the guys had stayed behind and saved our seats for us. Edward began
working on his next drink and it wasn't long before he was bouncin' around in my
lap again.

Motherfuckin' son of a…there's gotta be a place I can take him and fuck him
somewhere in this club…the bathroom's probably not a good place…hmm…over by
the DJ booth…behind the curtain…that's a possibility…or I could just take him home
and fuck him…fuck it, I could just fuck him in the car…the windows are tinted and
the parking lot we're parked in is pretty dim…

I was brought out of my serious contemplation about where to fuck Edward when
- 857 -
he jumped out of my lap and grabbed my hands, "Dance with me, Jay…the music
sounds so fucking good…"

He was flushed and his eyes were lidded and bloodshot but he wore a beautiful
crooked grin. I smiled at him, "How much have you had to drink tonight, Edward?"

He giggled and I started laughing as I stood up and wrapped my arms around him,
"You're fuckin' wasted, huh?"

He giggled again and nodded.

I laughed and grabbed his hand, "Well, then let's dance before ya sober up."

I led him out into the sea of men where we found our own little space on the
dance floor. I was still half expecting to have to coax him a little but my Eddie
always surprised me.

He turned in my arms with his back against my chest. He wrapped his arms back
behind my neck and then the boy proceeded to grind the fuck outta my cock with
that oh-so-fuckable ass of his.

That was all it took for me to fucking love this music too.

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck as my arms wrapped around his
waist. I couldn't stop myself from letting my hand graze the length of his cock
through his jeans and I was rewarded by his ass pushing harder against me and a
growl.

I fuckin' love it when he growls…

Our bodies moved together to the music, in perfect sync with each other as we
always seemed to be. Soon we were sticky with sweat and panting from either the
heat or desire…probably both.

My cock was fuckin' pulsing against my zipper and screamin' at me, "Free
Monsieur Le Cock! Viva la freedom!"

But before I could start plannin' a jailbreak for Grande Le Cock…Edward groaned
in my ear and whispered, "While you were spacing off earlier, Trevor told me about
a blind spot back behind the DJ booth. He said guys sometimes hooked up behind
that long curtain. Let's try it out, Jay…I fucking need you…"

- 858 -
 I fuckin' love this boy…

I took his ear lobe between my teeth and told him so, "I fuckin' love you,
Edward…"

He laughed softly and whispered, "I fucking love you too, Jay…I'll love you even
more when you're inside me…"

Fuck, I love this boy…I know I already said it but…fuck, I love this boy…

I grabbed his hand and started pulling him along. Once we reached the wall with
the long velvet red curtains, I pulled them back and Edward gasped.

Apparently Trevor was right cuz there were several guys behind the curtain
against the wall. Some were giving blow jobs, some were fucking, and the others
were well on their way to doing one of those two things.

I pulled his ear to my lips and whispered, "Edward, I don't know if I wanna fuck
you in front of all these guys…"

He groaned and whined, "Please, Jay…please…I need you so fucking bad,

baby…who cares about these guys…I don't…I want you…please…"

But for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to do it…Edward wasn't some
cheap fuck against a dirty wall…

Then he turned in my arms and pushed his hard cock against mine as he moaned,
"Jay, I'm going to fucking explode if you don't touch me soon."

I took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, "Alright, Edward…I'm gonna take care
of you, okay baby?"

He nodded as I pulled him back behind the curtain. My back was against the wall
as I pulled him to me and kissed him hard while my hands began undoing his belt
and jeans.

Then I pulled away and dropped to my knees. Edward gasped as he looked down
at me, "Jay, what are you…"

I pulled his cock out through the hole in his boxers and winked at him before
taking him into my mouth.

- 859 -
 He moaned loudly as his hands pressed against the wall and he pushed himself
even deeper down my throat.

I could already taste the drops of pre-cum leaking from his plump head. His dick
was hard as granite and the head was all purple and engorged from straining for so
long. I knew it wouldn't take him long.

I swallowed around his cock before coming back up and swirling my tongue
around the tip. My hand wrapped around him and squeezed up with a flick of the
wrist, causing drops of his nut to drip onto my tongue that I stuck out, waiting for
his sweet taste.

He watched me with hooded eyes as I flicked my tongue over his slit and sucked
the head gently into my mouth before plunging back down.

Now his hips started moving and one of his hands came down and tangled in my
hair, holding me in place as he started fucking my mouth.

My dick was fuckin' pounding and starting to hurt it was so hard.

I kept my eyes on his as he thrusted desperately into my mouth and it didn't take
long until his eyes rolled back in his head and his dick twitched and pulsed in my
mouth. He came deep down my throat and I swallowed every last drop and licked
the tip a few times to make sure I got it all.

I tucked him back into his jeans and redid everything before standing back up. He
was panting as his arms went around my neck. He whispered a breathless, "Thank
you, Jay."

I laughed, "You're welcome, babe. You ready to get outta here now?"

He shook his head and pulled away with that sexy crooked grin, "I still want to
fuck."

The boy is fuckin' insatiable…

I groaned cuz I was already suffering from a serious case of blue balls and hearing
him talk like that wasn't helping my case any.

"Edward? I just…do you really wanna fuck here? In front of all these guys?"

He giggled as his hands went to my zipper, "What happened to carpe diem and all
- 860 -
that shit, Jay?"

I was leaning against the wall as he undid my jeans and pulled my cock out. He
stroked it a few times as my eyes closed and my hands gripped his hips.

He whispered, "Do you have any lube, baby?"

I took a breath and nodded, "Left pocket."

He chuckled as he reached his hand into my pocket and pulled out the baggie.

Now he laughed, "Condoms, lube, and are those baby wipes?"

I nodded and smiled as I opened my eyes, "You know I like to be prepared…and

before you say it, I'm not a fuckin' boy scout."

He just shook his head as he smiled, "Were you planning on getting lucky
tonight?"

I smirked, "Luck has nothing to do with it."

He pulled out a condom and ripped the top off with his teeth. I had to bite my lip
to keep from screaming out as he furrowed his brows and concentrated real hard on
putting the condom on me cuz watching him do that was damn near enough to make
me cum.

Once it was on, he opened the pack of lube and smiled, "Why the condom anyway?
We don't even use them."

I was so fuckin' worked up now that I could barely talk, "Didn't wanna…make a
mess…"

He laughed and leaned into my ear, "But I like the way it feels to have your hot
cum leaking out of my thoroughly used ass…"

Motherfucker…

I grabbed the lube from his hand and spun him around, pressing him face first
against the wall. I tore off the condom and just sorta threw it somewhere, hopefully
not hitting anyone but I was too fuckin' horny to give a fuck at this point.

I squeezed some lube into my hand and growled, "Pull your fuckin' jeans down."
- 861 -
 He giggled as he slid them down over his hips and then he wiggled his ass at me
as he looked back over his shoulder with that crooked grin.

I slid a wet finger inside of him and he pushed back easily onto it. So I added
another and began stretching him out. He was driving me crazy with the moaning
and pushing against the wall so that he was fucking himself on my fingers.

I pulled them out and stroked my cock a few times until it was slick and ready.

Then I put my hand between his shoulder blades and whispered, "Stay still,
Edward…I don't wanna hurt you…"

He nodded and I started to slowly push the head in. My eyes squeezed shut as I
pushed past that tight ring of muscle. He was so fuckin' tight and so fuckin' warm…

He stayed still until I was finally all the way inside of him. I pulled out slowly until
just the head was in and then pushed back in with one deep thrust.

He moaned, "Oh fuck, Jay…harder…"

I gripped his hips and began fuckin' him good and hard against the wall. He was
pushing back into me and I could hear the slapping of our skin even over the loud
music. We were both panting and growling and sweating.

It wasn't gonna take me long either.

I wrapped my arms around his waist to hold him as I closed my eyes and buried
my face into the back of his shoulder.

My knees were aching from the exertion and my whole body was on fire. He
turned his head and whispered, "Cum for me, Jay…cum deep inside me so when I
feel it trickling out later, I'll remember this…"

I growled, "You're such a fuckin' dirty boy…ya want me to cum?"

I stopped moving and whispered, "Make me cum, Eddie."

I could feel the muscles in his stomach clenching against my hands as he started
ramming himself back onto me…thoroughly fuckin' me hard and proper.

We were both growling and I could taste the salty sweat on the back of his neck as
I sucked and bit while he fucked me.
- 862 -
 A minute later, I bit down hard so it could muffle my screams as I fuckin' exploded
inside of him.

My whole body pulsed and trembled as he continued fucking me through my

orgasm. I finally reached down and stilled his hips cuz I couldn't take anymore.

I panted, "Jesus Christ, Edward…ya gotta stop, baby…I can't take no more…"

He laughed softly and turned his head, "I think I like being called a dirty boy."

I laughed now too, "Well, come here and give me a kiss, dirty boy."

We kissed softly and when it ended, I slowly pulled out of him. I pulled up my
jeans and Edward pulled his up.

I heard someone say, "Hey Blondie!"

I turned my head and saw one of the guys that had been out in the alley earlier.
He grabbed my hand and slapped a hundred dollar bill in it before smiling, "Seeing
the rest of the show was definitely worth the money."

Then he turned and left.

I just stood there a moment, completely fuckin' dumbfounded. Edward and I had
just fucked in front of God knows how many guys. Now I could feel my cheeks
starting to burn as I turned to Edward, "Can you believe that guy…"

But Edward was slumped over in the corner fast asleep.

I shoved the money in my pocket and crouched down, "Dude, wake up! C'mon,
Eddie!"

He lifted his head and his eyes were almost completely red as he hummed,
"Hmm?"

I put my arms around him, "On your feet soldier…"

He giggled as I helped him up.

I had my arm around his waist, "Can you walk? Ya gotta wake up, baby…I can't
carry you outta here…"

- 863 -
 He mumbled sleepily, "What are you talking about? I'm not even tired…"

And then his head fell to my shoulder and his body went limp.

I cursed under my breath. I should've known better than to get him off in
public…he always passes out afterwards.

I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do. I was strong and all but even I couldn't
carry him all the way to the car and still open the doors and shit…not to mention
that if any cops saw us, Edward would definitely warrant a public intoxication
arrest.

I tried again, lifting his chin and pleading, "Edward? Come on, man…you gotta
wake up for just ten minutes and you can sleep on the way home!"

He mumbled but his eyes didn't open, "I'm not drunk…"

I groaned and mumbled, "Fuck it…"

I picked him up and carried out from behind the curtain. I carried him to the
nearest chair and sat him down. I stood next to him as he leaned against me,
snoring, and I looked around to see if maybe I could find one of the guys from our
table to help me out.

Instead, I saw the two guys that had been at the table behind us that I was
watching earlier walk up, hand in hand.

"Looks like your boyfriend had an excellent time."

I sighed, "Yeah, I can't wake him up and I can't get him to the car by myself."

They smiled and one of them spoke, "Would you like some help, son?"

I nodded, "That would be real nice of you, sir."

I had watched them together earlier that night and I was a pretty good judge of
character so I trusted these guys.

They laughed in unison and the taller one stuck his hand out, "I'm Jack and this is
my husband, Eli."

I smiled and shook their hands, "I'm Jasper…this is my boyfriend, Edward. Thanks
- 864 -
for the help."

Jack looked down at Edward for a moment before sighing, "Okay, you get him
from that side and I'll get this one. Honey, will you get the doors for us?"

Eli nodded, "Of course, babe."

We both wrapped an arm underneath Edward's shoulders and lifted him to his
feet. It wasn't as hard to get through the club with the extra help.

Eli motioned for us, "Let's take him through the back door, the front always has
cops out there."

Once we got out into the alleyway, Jack stopped, "Which way is your car?"

I threw a look down the alley to the street, "That way and then left about a block."

He nodded and we continued carrying Edward along. Eli laughed, "So, I take it,
this is the first time to the club for you boys?"

I laughed, "Yeah, first and last…for awhile anyway."

Jack smirked, "Yeah, maybe you should wait until you're twenty one next
time…that should be, what, in about five years."

I grimaced and Edward now laughed and mumbled, "He's only sixteen but his
cock is full grown…"

I laughed, "Classy, Edward."

He giggled again, "Who were those guys trying to fool? Their wings weren't even
real…you could see the Velcro…did I say that right…Velcro…that doesn't even sound
like a real word…"

Then he leaned over to Jack and whispered, "Did you know that Jasper's an angel?
I mean, a real one. He has wings and everything…real wings…they're beautiful…"

Then he grabbed the back of my shirt and lifted it up, "See? I'm not crazy…they
are real…"

And then he was snoring again.

- 865 -
 I cleared my throat, "Uh…sorry, he's really trashed."

Jack smiled, "Trashed or not, he thinks you're an angel. You must be doing
something right, kid."

Eli laughed, "How long have you guys been together anyway?"

Edward opened his eyes and smiled, "Like twenty three years now…"

And then he crashed again.

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Well, let's see…we had our first kiss at
thirteen…we started makin' out at fourteen…we fell in love by fifteen…so it's been
three years now…fuck, it seems like a lot longer than that…"

Edward mumbled again, "Forty seven years…"

Eli smiled, "That is so cute. You two are an adorable couple. Jack and I have been
together since our freshman year of college. It will be seventeen years next month."

I smiled, "That's fuckin' awesome. I can't wait till me and Eddie have that kind of
history together."

Jack laughed now, "Yeah, I remember the first time I had to get a buddy of mine to
help me carry Eli to the car. He couldn't hold his liquor and he yakked all over my
shoes."

Eli smirked and then Edward mumbled, "That's too bad…those are really nice
shoes…"

We finally made it to the parking lot and I fished the keys outta my pocket as Jack
and Eli kept Edward upright. I quickly opened the passenger door and they helped
me get Edward inside. I laid his seat back and buckled his seat belt before finally
turning to Jack and Eli, "Hey, thanks for the help. You guys really saved my ass
tonight."

They just smiled and Jack shook his head, "No need to thank us. I could see that
you needed help and was afraid that someone might try and take advantage of you.
You two really need to be careful when you're out and about…you're so young. You
haven't been drinking, have you because we could call you a cab…"

I shook my head, "No, sir, I haven't been drinkin'. I stayed sober so I could drive."
- 866 -
 He nodded, "Okay, then, well it was a pleasure to meet you, Jasper. Drive home
safe."

I nodded, "I will. Thanks again."

They turned to Edward and Eli laughed, "Good night, Edward…it was nice to meet
you."

Edward was curled in the fetal position as he mumbled, "It's weird that I'm gay
because I fucking love tacos…"

Eli smiled, "Lots of water and Tylenol in the morning…"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Good night, Jasper. Take care, boys."

They turned and left and I quickly shut Edward's door and was soon driving us
back home.

Edward was out but was constantly mumbling about random crazy shit…

"This bed is sooo comfortable…"

"I hate broccoli…brussell sprouts are okay…but only if they have cheese…cheese
rocks…"

"Come to the dark side, Jay…"

"I like Wal-Mart…Kmart sucks…"

"Garden gnomes scare the shit out of me…"

I was laughing my ass off but trying to keep it down so I wouldn't wake him but
suddenly he shot up, wide eyed and pointing out the window.

"Look, Jay! Taco Bell! I fucking love tacos! Can we stop? Please?"

I figured that it might be good to feed him, it might soak up some of the alcohol. I
pulled in the drive thru and ordered my boy a shit load of tacos and a large ice
water.

- 867 -
 He killed the tacos on the way home and was passed out again by the time we got
there.

I did manage to get him coherent enough to make it inside the house. He couldn't
make it up the stairs though so I picked him up and got him to the bed. I laid him
down and pulled off his socks and shoes. Then I unbuckled his belt and pulled his
jeans off.

I stripped down to my boxers and curled up next to him. I fell asleep in no time.

I was awakened by the sound of Edward throwing up in the bathroom. I pulled

myself out of bed and walked in. He was hugging the toilet as he groaned, "Don't
watch me, Jay…it's really gross…"

I smiled as I grabbed a washcloth and got it wet, "Hey at least you didn't yak on
my shoes."

He looked up at me with furrowed brows, "Huh? Did I throw up on your shoes?"

I shook my head, "No, baby boy. Here, this might help."

I laid the washcloth across the back of his neck and he sighed, "That feels so
good."

I sat down on the floor next to him and rubbed his back as he went at it a few
more times.

When it seemed like he was done, I helped him up and brushed his teeth for him.
Then I gave him a big glass of water to wash the icky taste out of his mouth.

I helped him back to bed and grabbed some Tylenol. He washed them down and
took a few more drinks of the water. I re-wetted the washcloth and laid it across his
forehead as he curled up on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and he
sighed, "You're my best friend, Jay…I love you…"

I kissed his hair and smiled, "I love you too, Edward…now get some rest, baby, so
you can feel better tomorrow."

I was exhausted and fell asleep again right away.

When I woke up the next time, the sun was streaking in through the window.
Edward had somehow managed to sleep with his entire body on top of mine. He was
- 868 -
curled up and snoring peacefully.

I wrapped my arms around him and gently rolled him over to the side of me. But
when I tried to slide my arms away so that I could get out of bed, his hand reached
out and felt around until it felt mine. Then he gripped my hand in his and pulled it
over his heart. His fingers started brushing my fingertips and he sighed with a soft
smile, "Mmm…lovely…"

I couldn't help but smile as he slept. I reached my free hand up and very softly ran
my fingertips over his smooth lips.

I sighed, "Mmm…lovely…"

I watched him sleep for awhile and just enjoyed the moment. Edward was
beautiful when he slept…I mean, he was beautiful all the time but when he was
sleeping well, he was…kind of angelic or some shit.

There wasn't a trace of anxiety or doubt on his face…he was peaceful. It

was…lovely.

Eventually, nature called and I had to get outta bed. I took a piss and headed
downstairs. It was almost one o'clock and I knew I was gonna have to talk to my dad
soon. My stomach churned at the thought.

I stepped out on the back patio and lit a cigarette. I really didn't wanna deal with
my dad sober. The only reason we were able to tolerate each other as long as we did
was cuz we were both always trashed.

I finished my square and went back inside. Eddie was still sleeping so I went to
the bar and looked through the cabinets. Em had said we could drink so I grabbed a
bottle of vodka and walked into the kitchen.

I poured some in a glass and jumped up on the counter. I sighed and started just
swishing it around a little…

Maybe if I can hold out long enough for Edward to wake up, he'll talk me out of
it…he'll make me feel better and I won't need this shit…

But he didn't make it in time and by the time he did come down the stairs, I was
pretty fucked up.

I looked up and smiled, "Mornin', darlin…you feelin' alright?"

- 869 -
 He smiled, "Yeah, I don't feel that bad…thanks for taking care of me."

I shrugged, "S'no problem, Eddie…"

He furrowed his brows and started walking over to me, "Jay? Are you drinking?"

I giggled, "Yeah…sorry I tried to wait for you but it was takin' too long…"

He came over and picked up the vodka bottle and started screwing the cap back
on. Then he took the glass from my hands and put it in the sink.

He walked over in front of me and put his hands on my knees as he looked up at

me, "Jasper, what's wrong?"

I shrugged, "Nothin'…I'm good…everything's cool…how are you?"

I was getting a little dizzy as I looked down at him and he wrapped his arms
around my waist, "Let's get you off this countertop, Jay."

I shook my head, "No…I don't wanna leave this countertop…I'm happy here…"

He sighed as he reached up and held my chin, "You don't have to leave the
countertop if you don't want to, Love…I just don't want you to fall."

I mumbled, "That short fall from this countertop to that floor is the least of my
fuckin' worries, Edward."

He slid his hand to my cheek and I closed my eyes and curled my face into it. He
whispered, "What are you worried about, Jay?"

I took a deep breath as my stomach twisted, "I gotta talk to my dad, Edward. I
gotta talk to my dad and he's gonna be pissed…like, super pissed. He can take this
all away from me. He can make me go back to Texas. I'm happy here cuz I'm with
you and he can take me away from you. I don't wanna go back. I'm happy here…on
this countertop…with your arms around me…I'm happy and I'm scared it's all gonna
go to hell again."

He jumped up on the countertop next to me and pulled me in his arms. I wrapped

my arms around his neck as he whispered, "No matter what happens with this phone
call, we're going to be alright. Worst case scenario, you do have to go back to
Texas…it won't be like last time, Jay. You'll have your phone so we can talk
everyday, you can use some of that money your grandma gave you to buy a
- 870 -
computer and a webcam so we could see each other that way…hell, you could even
get an Xbox and we could play games online together. If it happens, it's only two
years until we're eighteen, Jay. We can make it two years."

I pulled away and looked into those pretty green eyes, "You're willing to wait for
me?"

He smiled, "You silly boy, I would wait an eternity for you."

I smiled now, "Edward? You're my best friend too."

He furrowed his brows, "Huh?"

I laughed, "Last night right before you fell asleep…you told me that I was your
best friend…and then you passed out for the hundredth time."

He blushed as he grinned, "Man, I was really wasted last night. I don't remember
anything after that blow job you gave me."

"Um, Edward? You don't remember us fuckin'?"

He shook his head, "No…wait…did somebody pay us?"

I laughed, "Yep, a hundred bucks…if college doesn't work out for us, Eddie…we
can always make a career in porn."

He rolled his eyes, "A career in porn? Jay, if we were porn stars…we would own
the whole damn industry…I mean, look at us…we'd be billionaires. Boys gone
wild…"

He laughed now and jumped off the counter. I wrapped my arms around him and
let him help me to my feet. He let out a deep breath and handed me the phone,
"Come on, babe…let's get this over with."

I nodded and followed him into the living room. He sat down on the couch and laid
his long legs along it as he pulled me in between them. I wrapped my arms around
his waist as he played with hair. I curled up on his chest and closed my eyes.

After a minute, I took a deep breath and mumbled, "Fuck it," before dialing my
aunt Barb's house.

"Yello?"
- 871 -
 "Hey Jeremiah, it's Jay."

"What up, cuz?"

I closed my eyes and focused on the beat of Edward's heart, "Is daddy there?"

I heard him sigh, "Yeah, man, he's here. He doesn't know for sure yet so you can
always deny the fuck out of it, Jay. You don't have to tell him that
you're…uh…y'know…"

I let out a breath, "Yeah, I know I can deny it…I'm scared half to death to tell him
but I'm done lying. If he asks me then I'm gonna tell him the truth. I am who I
am…and he can deal with it or fuck off…in fact, I'd prefer it if he'd just fuck off…"

Jeremiah laughed, "You're one hard headed son of a bitch, cuz…but ya got
balls…big hairy Whitlock balls…and I was thinkin' that I could talk to the guys for ya
if ya wanted me too…I mean, if this shit's gonna be made public, you're gonna need
your family if ya come back to Texas."

I grimaced, "I dunno, man…what do ya think the guys will say? I'm sure they ain't
gonna be too cool with it."

He huffed, "Dude? Ain't not one of em got any room to judge you! Brandon has
this freaky midget fetish and I walked in on Josh last year getting spanked by a girl
in a Corrections Officer uniform…we all got our issues, man…you just happen to like
big purple headed dicks…y'know…whatever…"

I smiled, "You're a silly motherfucker, Cuz."

"Yeah, I know…hang on a sec, Cuz…I'll go get Uncle Wayne."

I heard some yelling as he called for my daddy. My stomach twisted again when I
heard his voice.

"Jasper Wayne Whitlock, where the hell are you?"

"Um…up north."

"I want your ass back here now, Jasper!"

"No, I'm spending the summer with my friends…"

- 872 -
 "Did you say no to me? What the hell's gotten into you, boy? Was that bitch right?
Are you a fuckin' faggot now? You hangin' out with your little queer friends?"

I rolled my eyes, "Dad? Since when have you ever given a fuck what I do? I didn't
even see your sorry ass for three fuckin' years and now you wanna try and be my
fuckin' dad? Fuck you!"

"Listen here you little shit…I came to that miserable fuckin' town to see you and
you were nowhere to be found! I guess I know now that you were off with your little
fuckin' boyfriend takin' it up the ass!"

I laughed, "Yep, you're right, dad. I love being fucked in the ass…Edward has a
nice, big, juicy dick and I love to suck it and fuck it…"

"That's enough, Jasper! I want you back home by the end of the week! End of
fuckin' discussion!"

I screamed, "No, it's not the fuckin' end of the discussion you drunk fuck! You
never wanted me before! Why now? You left me with mama and all those fuckin'
men she was with! Do you have any idea what the fuck I've been through? I have
scars all over my fuckin' body cuz you didn't give a fuck! They beat the shit outta
me…mama would disappear for fuckin' days at a time and leave me alone with no
fuckin' food in the house…they taught me how to rob and steal and do drugs…who
do you think gave me the fuckin' knife that I got busted with in school? Who do you
think gave me the drugs that got me locked up for six months? Did you ever visit
me? Send me one fuckin' letter? No…you didn't give a fuck when I needed you, well
I don't fuckin' need you anymore, you fuckin' piece of shit!"

"I couldn't take you away from your mama, son! She needed you!"

I sat up and stomped off outside to smoke a cigarette, Edward was right behind
me.

"Mama needed me, huh? So, you put the needs of some bitch who wouldn't even
stay sober for you ahead of your only son's?"

He snapped, "Show some fuckin' respect you little prick!"

I yelled back, "Why? Cuz you and mama taught me to be all well mannered and
shit? The only people who have ever taught me anything is the fuckin' Cullen's! This,
right now…this is me actin' the way you taught me! All you do is scream and cuss
and fuckin' bully me! But guess what, dad? I ain't a little kid no more! And one thing
- 873 -
you did teach me was to stand up to fuckin bullies so fuck you!"

"If I would've known that that little fairy doctor and his god damn goody two shoes
wife were gonna turn you into one of them, then I would've hauled your ass back
home years ago!"

I sat down on a patio chair and Edward sat beside me. He started rubbing the
back of my neck and he whispered, "Calm down, Jay. You're better than this."

I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm, "Look, dad…if Dr. Cullen and his
family wouldn't have helped me…I would most likely be locked up right now. They
gave me a place to stay when no one wanted me…they fed me…bought me
clothes…did you know that before I left school last year, I had a 3.7 gpa? I was on
the starting defense on the football team…I had friends…I had a future. If I go back
to Texas, I lose it all."

He chuckled like the asshole he is, "So, it's about the money, then? You're just a
fuckin' gold digger now like your mama?"

"I know you think it's about the money cuz that's what mama always taught
me…go after money…but that has nothin' to do with it. I know that I could tell
Carlisle anything and he would never raise a hand to me or call me a bad
name…when I was hurt after I got jumped, Esme took care of me without shoving
pills down my throat…she listened to me and let me be mad or be sad without
laughing at me or callin' me a pussy…you think their lives are perfect but you're
wrong. They've all had it rough…even rougher than me but they still treat each
other right. They don't drag each other down…"

"I'm not tryin' to drag you down, Jasper…I'm raisin' you the best way I know how.
You can't be soft, son…this world will rip you apart if you can't take it. Ya think my
daddy didn't beat the shit outta me when I was a kid? It's called 'tough love', son… "

I shook my head, "No, daddy…it's called abuse and neglect. I have enough things
goin' against me already without havin' you and mama against me too. I mean, I
couldn't even talk to you today until I was good and fucked up and you're nearly
3000 miles away from me right now. I don't wanna be like this…I want out. I want a
fuckin' chance, dad. I ain't never asked you for nothin' my whole life but I'm fuckin'
beggin' you now…please…don't make me come back…give me a chance…I swear I'll
check in with you…you can even come and visit me and I'll come visit you…please,
daddy…"

He was quiet for a minute and my heart stopped cuz that meant he was
- 874 -
considering it.

But I should've known better.

"You have until the first of August to come back home, Jasper. If you're not here,
then I'm gettin' the cops involved and the fuckin' Cullen's will be first on my list."

I couldn't stop myself as the anger welled up inside of me and I fuckin' exploded,
"Fuck you! I ain't fuckin' scared of you! I got plenty of money to last me awhile and I
ain't ever comin' back! Get the cops involved, you mother fucker, and see what kind
of shit I tell them! Half the scars I got are from you!"

He was calm now but I could hear the slurring of his words as he chuckled, "Son?
Who do ya think the cops are gonna believe? Some little punk who's already been
locked up twice or a former Marine Staff Sergeant? I know you ain't that smart, son,
but use your fuckin' head. Now, I want you home by the first of the month and that's
a fuckin' order."

And before I could say anything else, he hung up.

I was so mad I couldn't see straight. Edward pried the phone from my hand. I sat
there for a minute and tried to calm myself down. I closed my eyes and took deep
breaths…but then I hit the fuckin' brick wall on the patio.

I hissed and pulled back my hand, my knuckles were fucked and bleeding but I felt
better. Edward grabbed my wrist and I screamed, "Fuck!"

He grimaced, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you…"

I shook my head, "You didn't…"

He examined it very gently and asked, "Does it feel broken?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, "No…just hurts like a son of a bitch."

"Come on…let me get it clean and bandaged."

He led me inside and washed it off underneath the sink. I hopped up on the
countertop as he started wrapping it up for me.

I sighed, "You see, Edward? This is why I didn't wanna leave this countertop."

- 875 -
 He looked up at me and I could see the worry in those pretty green eyes, "Jay? Are
you running?"

I groaned and ran my good hand over my face, "I dunno, man. I don't know what
I'm gonna do but I gotta figure this shit out soon."

He nodded and continued bandaging my hand. I heard him whisper softly, "If you
run, I'm coming with you."

And I seriously thought about it for like ten seconds, before sighing and lifting his
chin up to look at me, "Edward, I can't let you do that. You have school and a family
who actually care about you. I'm not letting you fuck up your whole life for me. I
won't."

He hopped on the counter next to me and put his hands on my hips, "I'm not
asking for your permission, Jay. I can't be apart from you and not know where you
are or if you're okay. It nearly killed me last time."

I closed my eyes and thought about what happened last time we were apart.
Images of Edward in that hospital flashed through my mind…pictures of him lying
there with tubes shoved down his throat as they flushed him with charcoal to keep
him from dying due to an accidental overdose…visions of him staring out the
windows for hours, completely detached from the real world…

I can't put him through that again…I can't put Carlisle and Esme and Peter
through that…fuck, I'm going back to Texas…

Next chapter, the gang comes for a visit before the boys head home…also,
I have no idea how many chapters this story will be…I'm thinking possibly
about ten more chapters but don't hold me to that cuz I don't really plan
shit out too much. I thought about just ending it all sweet and tied up with a
pretty little bow…but then I thought, fuck it…if you guys are gonna keep
reading, then I'm gonna keep writing…so hopefully, you guys will stick
around…I'll let you know when we're close to the end…

- 876 -
 Chapter 42

If you guys are interested in a really good E/J story that's finished, check
out "Trusting Love" by arianawhitlock. She also has a sequel that's finished
as well but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. And she has an awesome fic
called Punishment. Give them a read and leave her some love.

Playlist: Say by John Mayer

Eddie's POV

"I'm not asking for your permission, Jay. I can't be apart from you and not know
where you are or if you're okay. It nearly killed me last time."

If he was running, then I would go with him. Just the thought of losing him
threatens my mental stability. I need him.

He closed his eyes for a moment then he jumped off the counter and grabbed my
hand, "C'mon, Eddie…let's go out on the patio so I can smoke."

I followed along and we sat down across from each other in a couple of patio
chairs. He lit up a cigarette and I felt the need to put my foot down, since he hadn't
said anything.

"Look, Jay…I'm being serious. If you run then I'm going with you."

His head fell down for a moment as he took in a deep breath. I studied the way the
sun hit honey highlights in his hair and glistened off his tan, toned back.

Then he lifted his head and gave me a dimpled grin, "You know, it's really fuckin'
adorable when you get all assertive and shit…"

I blushed but couldn't help but grin back just a little, "You're an asshole."

He leaned back on the chair and stretched his long legs out, then he looked at me
through red-rimmed navy eyes, "I know I'm an asshole…but will you come lay with
me anyway?"

As if he had to ask…

- 877 -
 I nodded and walked over to him. He scooted over a little so that half of my body
was draped on top of him while the other half was on the chair. My head was laying
on his shoulder as my arm laid across his chest and I twirled his curls around my
fingers. He was lying on his back as his fingers brushed through my hair.

He sighed, "You know me, Edward. I'm not runnin' anywhere. I'm gonna have to
go back to Texas. As much as I fuckin hate it…he's my legal guardian and I have to
do what he says. If I don't, then I might just fuck things up worse than they already
are."

I closed my eyes and focused on the way his body felt beneath mine. The way we
fit so perfectly…his hair tickling my ears as I nuzzled into him…the roughed, raised
scars that flittered across the softest skin…honey curls falling through my fingers…

I needed to remember everything about him before we're separated again.

"So, you're going back to Texas?"

My heart was already aching.

"Yeah…and we need to have a real serious talk, Edward."

Now my heart stopped as I snapped my head up and looked into his eyes, "You're
not going to break up with me, are you?"

His eyes went wide and his hand came to my cheek, "Fuck no! Jesus, Edward…I
can't believe you'd even think somethin' like that."

I let out a sigh of relief and laid my head back down, "What did you want to talk
about then?"

His hand slid down to my chin and lifted it up as he looked down into my eyes. His
eyes were clouded with emotion…a hurricane of indigo and sapphire.

"We need to talk about how we're gonna deal with being apart. I mean, let's face
it, Edward…we both fell apart last time. We can't do that again. I can't go back and
be sane if I'm worried about how you're dealing with it. I need you to swear to take
care of yourself…take your medicine…talk honestly with the Doc…tell your mom and
dad about anything weird that happens right away. If you can do that for me, then I
swear to you that I'll stay sober…and I won't lose my temper…well, I won't fight
with no one if at all possible…I gotta defend myself obviously but I won't start no
shit with anyone and I'll be the bigger man and try to walk away first."
- 878 -
 I studied his ethereal face…and could easily recall hundreds of times when my lips
had been pressed to every inch of it.

I let out a breath, "I swear, Jay. But I need more from you."

He furrowed his brows and whispered, "Whatever you need…"

I sighed, "I need you to remember who you really are at all times and never forget
it…you are the kid who stands up for the little guys against the bullies…you are the
creative boy who paints his own Sistine Chapel…you're the one who worked from
sunrise to sundown for an old man and woman who adored you just because you
thought it was the right thing to do…you're the smart guy that scored in the top
percent of our class last year…you're my angel…my Superman…my heart…my
soul…my past, my present, and my future…swear to me that you won't forget, no
matter how hard it gets, no matter how much they try to drag you down…swear."

His eyes were glistening as they closed and his lips pressed against mine. His
rough fingertips slid across my cheek and I hummed in contentment. His strong sure
lips moved against mine, soft but needy as he whispered a breathless, "I swear."

When he pulled away, his eyes opened and he whispered, "I need more too."

"Anything, Jay."

He held my face and brushed his thumb across my cheek, "I need you to swear
that you won't stay in the house all the time…swear that you'll hang out with your
friends and do things and go places…have fun…swear to remember who you really
are…you're the brilliant boy who learned how to play the piano all on his
own…you're the creative boy that brought the outside world in as you with your
paper flowers and stars…you're the talented guy who wrote me a song and you're
the guy who had balls big enough to sing it in front of a bunch of rednecks…you're
the tough guy that grabs a pool stick and stands by my side as I start shit with a
couple of grown ups…you're the crazy boy who tells me to hold your stuffed bear
while you argue with demons and scare the shit outta a whole group of
assholes…you're fuckin' amazing, Edward…and I don't think you'll ever realize just
how much in awe of you I am…swear to me that you'll remember that when things
get tough…when you wake up from a nightmare…when you panic and you're
struggling to breathe…close your eyes and remember…swear."

I was struggling to breathe now but not because of a panic attack. I nodded and
whispered a breathless, "I swear."

- 879 -
 Now I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. We just lay there and kiss all
afternoon until we eventually fall asleep again, both of us exhausted from the heavy
emotions and declarations of the day.

I wake to my phone ringing. Jay is still sleeping so I speak quietly and tell Emmett
everything that happened today and that if they want to spend a little time with Jay
before we have to go back, then they need to come quickly. He agrees, saying that
they'll leave tomorrow and be here in a few days.

I pull myself up, practically peeling myself from his body as we clung together
sweaty and exhausted and desperate.

He stirs and pulls me back down, whispering, "Just five more minutes,
baby…please…"

I close my eyes and lay my head over his heart…committing every beat of my
favorite lullaby to memory for when I need it.

A few minutes later, we drag ourselves up and into the shower where we make
love against the wall.

Reluctantly, we dress and head downstairs to eat. Just like second nature, he hops
up on the counter and talks to me while I cook. He helps every so often by chopping
something up or stirring something.

We take our plates outside and sit at the patio table just as twilight sets in. As
we're eating, Jay clears his throat and I look up at him.

He sighs, "Hey Edward? I was thinking about somethin' else too. I think we need
to get your parents involved."

I set down my burger and nodded, suddenly not that hungry anymore, "Yeah, we
do."

He takes a breath, "If we would've gotten them involved with the whole 'James'
situation sooner, we may not be in this mess."

I rest my elbows on the table and run my fingers through my hair, "I know that
you and me together…we can face anything, Jay. But imagine how much stronger
we'll be with our family and friends helping us too. And the fact still remains, that
we're not quite grown yet. I can honestly say that after these last few months…I'm
exhausted and don't feel like dealing with all this grown up stuff for awhile."
- 880 -
 He sighed, "Yeah, me neither but we have to, babe. Can I have your phone?"

I nodded and handed it to him. He pressed dad's number on speed dial and put it
on speaker phone.

"Hello, son."

Hearing his voice actually made me feel a little better so I smiled slightly, "Hey
dad."

Then Jasper cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Um…hey dad."

I could hear the smile in my dad's voice, "Hey, son."

Jasper closed his eyes, "We need to talk to you…we need help with something…"

He proceeded to tell my dad everything that had happened about his dad and
about that ugly girl trying to out him. My dad listened intently and stopped every so
often to ask a question.

Once he was finished, my dad spoke, "I'm so proud of you boys seeing that this
might just be something too big for you to handle on your own. Thank you for letting
me help. Now, the first we thing need to do is look into emancipation in the state of
Texas. I think given your situation and background, that you'd have a good shot at it
but I'm no lawyer. I'll make some calls. Second, I need your father's phone number."

Jasper's eyes went wide, "Carlisle, I don't know think…"

"Son, I know you're worried. Please trust me. Let me handle this for awhile and
you boys just take a step back and breathe. This is part of my job, son, so just stop
worrying and let me do it."

Jasper smiled a little, "Okay, um here's my Aunt Barb's number…"

He rattled off the number and my dad took it down. Then I could hear the sound of
shuffling in the background, "Okay so you've got until the first. That means you two
need to be back here by July 20th. We need to make sure we have plenty of time to
go over everything and for the drive down to Texas…"

"Wait a second, Carlisle…I don't know if you guys comin' to Texas is a good idea. I
mean, my daddy's gonna be fu…er, freakin' livid."

- 881 -
 My dad sighed, "Jasper? Do you really think I'm going to just let you go
somewhere that I don't feel you're safe? We'll figure something out so that if you do
go back, you won't be alone. Just hang in there for awhile and let me look into a few
things, okay?"

Jasper let out a breath, "Okay."

We talked to dad for a little while longer, letting him know that Em and the gang
was coming down and we would head out in a couple weeks to make sure we got
home in time.

Once we hung up, I laid my head down on my arms. I felt completely drained.

"Hey Eddie?"

I raised my eyes and looked into his baby blues, "Hmm?"

He smiled his beautiful dimpled grin, "Enough of this grown up shit for awhile…"

Then he jumped up and grabbed me around the waist. Before I knew it, he had
thrown me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and was running down to the
beach.

I was laughing hysterically, "Put me down, Jay!"

As he ran out into the water, he smiled, "As you wish, darlin'."

Then he threw me into the shallow water while he laughed his ass off. I jumped
back up, soaking wet from head to toe. We were both fully dressed and I couldn't
help it as I laughed, "Oh you're going to get it, Whitlock!"

He winked and took off running, "Come and give it to me, Cullen!"

I took off after him and since I was faster than he was, I was soon dragging him
into the water with me…although he wasn't putting up much of a fight. We played
around for a few hours while people walked by, looking at us as if we'd lost our
minds…if only they knew.

Eventually, we collapsed in the sand, still laughing as we lay next to each other.
He turned on his side and propped himself up on one elbow.

"Hey Edward?"
- 882 -
 I turned and mimicked him, "Yeah, Jay?"

He looked sinfully beautiful. His wet jeans and white t-shirt clung to his body…his
curls darkened by the dampness and dripping onto his cheeks…the moonlight above
providing just enough light to see the midnight of his eyes looking into mine under
long onyx lashes…

Breathtaking…

His free hand reached out and rested on my hip before clenching my wet shirt and
pulling me closer. He whispered, "C'mere, pretty boy. I'm ready to do grown up stuff
now."

I scooted closer until our bodies were flush…but even that wasn't close enough. I
slipped my leg in-between his and my hands up the back of his shirt while I pressed
my lips to his.

I grasped at his back, willing to get him even closer to me. He moaned softly into
my mouth as our bodies moved together very leisurely, taking the time to just relish
in the moment.

It was a very good thing that the beach was pretty deserted by this point because
making out with a wet Jasper on the beach in the moonlight…yeah, I wasn't letting
that opportunity slip by…this would just be one of a million little memories that
would help me through when he was gone.

The next few days flew by as Jay and I just hung out. Sometimes we'd go to the
beach or play video games…he taught me a couple of trick shots in pool and even
taught me how to stack a deck of cards and cheat in poker…it was a lot of fun.

We had sex on every available surface in the house and that too, was a lot of fun.

I hadn't been taking a whole lot of pictures on our drive but I was making up for it
now. I got Jay to agree to do a photo shoot for me...a late birthday present. I took
hundreds of pictures…in various states of dress. He tried to act like he hated posing
for me, but he was totally loving it. I could tell by the way he would smirk or do
something really sexy like running that damn tongue stud over his bottom lip…just
to watch me squirm…

Asshole…sexy, mind-numbingly beautiful asshole…

And I even agreed to let him take a few of me. He also 'accidentally' left my
- 883 -
camera on 'record' mode while we made love and then talked me into watching it
with him…and so we made love again.

It had really been a fantastic summer, despite everything.

So, as I lay on top of him, half dazed from post coital bliss from riding him on the
couch right after we woke up this morning…I couldn't keep my eyes open and
neither could he.

"Oh fuck, my eyes! My eyes are fucking burning!"

Hmm…that sounds kind of like a big old grizzly bear…

"Eww…I'm not sitting on that couch."

Just for that, we're fucking on your couch, Rosalie, the first chance we get…

"Where the hell is my damn camera?"

Brady's always losing stuff…

I felt Jay squirm underneath me and I groaned at the loud voices. I lifted my
sleepy eyes and it took about a good five seconds before I realized that all of our
friends were standing there as we lie on the couch…completely nude and I was on
top…they were all staring at my naked ass.

I gasped and buried my head into Jasper's neck. I felt my whole body begin to
burn in embarrassment.

"Oh my god, his ass is even blushing! That is just adorable!"

I hate you Alice…

Just then I felt something being draped over me and I looked up into Jay's eyes. He
smiled as he pulled a blanket over me that had been draped over the top of the
couch.

"Let me up, baby, so I can get dressed. Just pull the blanket around you."

I nodded and started to get up. Jasper laughed, "Unless you fuckers wanna see if
the legend is true…I suggest ya turn around."

- 884 -
 Then I heard Tommy sigh, "Brady, quit being such a perv and turn around."

Brady huffed, "But I just wanted to see if the legend was true! Ugh! Fine!"

Then they were both giggling.

I stood and pulled the blanket around me tightly…even over my head a little
because I didn't really want to look them in the eye just yet.

Jay stood in all his naked glory and pulled on a pair of jeans…no boxers…

Oh for the love of God…do not even think about getting a boner now…

"Alright, I'm decent."

Understatement of the fucking year…

Everyone turned around and Alice practically jumped into Jasper's arm as she
squealed in excitement, "Oh my God, I've missed you so much! I have no one to shop
with anymore! You look great though! I can't believe how tan you are and the
sunlight has really brought out the highlights in your hair!"

Jasper laughed as he hugged her back, "I missed you too…and I could actually use
some new clothes so we'll go shopping soon, darlin'."

She squealed again and Rosalie laughed, "Quit hogging him, Alice!"

Alice smiled and pulled away as Rose came up. She just smiled at Jasper for a
moment before speaking, "It's good to see you again. You really do look great."

Jasper just smirked, "Yeah, I know."

She laughed and so did he.

"You look really good too, Rose."

She smirked at him now, "Yeah, I know."

Then Jasper smiled and opened his arms, "C'mere, Ice Queen…I know I'm hot but I
promise not to melt you."

She laughed and wrapped her arms around him. They hugged for a minute and I
- 885 -
swear I heard her whisper, "If I had a brother, he would be just like you."

And when I thought about it, it was kind of true. They both put on tough exterior's
but on the inside they were just plain old softies.

Once she pulled away, Em smiled, "Bro, you know I love you, man…but I ain't
going nowhere near that hand…I have a very good idea where it's been at."

I literally felt like I could spontaneously combust at any moment.

Jay just cocked his head and smiled, "Oh yeah? Well, I have a pretty good idea
where your hand's been at too, man…"

Em laughed and held out his hand, "Dirty fucker."

Jay laughed and grabbed his hand, "You're a dirty fucker too, man."

They did the one arm man hug thing but did throw in a couple extra pats on the
back.

Then Brady walked up and smiled, "Nothing was the same without you, Jay. I
really missed hanging out with you."

Jasper smiled back, "Me too, Brady. Now, c'mere and give me a hug…I know
you're dyin' too."

Brady briefly looked over at me and I couldn't help but laugh, "Yes, Brady, it's
okay."

He smiled and threw his arms around Jasper. And I wasn't at all jealous because I
actually trusted both of them completely. I knew that neither one of them would
ever do anything to hurt me. They were both really good friends.

And besides, Jasper is in love with me…I'm the only one he wants…

That little realization was nice…but then I remembered that I was still standing
there completely nude underneath a blanket.

I mumbled as my cheeks burned…both sets, according to Alice.

"Um…so, yeah, it's great to see you guys again. Um…if you'll…uh…excuse me…I
think I'm going to go get cleaned up. Adios!"
- 886 -
 I turned and held the blanket tight as I walked away.

Adios? What the hell? Was that Pedro slipping out? Shit, is Pedro slipping out?

I looked down and let out a breath of relief that he was, in fact, still hidden
underneath the blanket.

I heard some giggling but chose to ignore it.

I hurried upstairs and quickly showered. Then I pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt.
I decided not to put on my shoes until we figured out what we were doing tonight.

I was running the towel through my hair again when I heard Tommy's voice, "Hey
Edward? You done, man?"

I stepped out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom, "Hey Tommy. I'm done.
Is everything okay?"

He smiled, "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean, I know you
were really embarrassed about what happened earlier."

I shrugged, "Yeah, I was…but I'm over it…well, until Emmett or Brady bring it up
again anyway."

He sighed as he ran a hand through his messy dark hair. It was wavy and tangled
a bit at the ends where it curled, probably from having the windows down in
Emmett's Jeep. He looked good though, a little dark under the eyes but his weight
was better. I looked over in the mirror and noticed that I had gained back the weight
I had lost when Jay was gone. I looked better now too. I hoped like hell I could keep
it together if we were separated again.

He smiled a little, "You look really great, Edward."

I smiled back, "You too, Tommy."

Then I remembered the last couple of times we had talked on the phone and
suddenly I felt very bad because I had been so caught up in Jasper that I ignored my
friend when he needed me.

Tommy and I had spent a lot of nights talking at the hospital. We would lay in our
beds facing each other from the opposite sides of the room…no light other than the
moonlight that would break through the small barred window…so quiet that we
- 887 -
could hear each other's every breath…every sob…every scream. And as selfish as I
felt for it, I was relieved to have him with me. I was relieved that I wasn't alone.

I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Um, hey Tommy?"

He furrowed his brows at my sudden change in mood, "What's up, Edward?"

He came over and sat down at the other end of the bed.

I looked up into his turquoise blue eyes, they never changed…they were always an
electric sort of blue.

"Um, I need to apologize for the way I've treated you the last few times we
spoke…"

He smiled softly and shrugged, "Don't worry about it, Edward…I mean, yeah I was
a little pissed at first but I've had some to think about it and I understand. I know
how much you missed him…I was there, remember? I remember how bad you
hurt…it's just…can I say something, without you getting pissed at me?"

I nodded and he flopped down backwards on the bed and closed his eyes.

"I've been really worried about you, Edward. I know that things are great now that
you're back with him but…what happens when he's gone again?"

I started to say that we had worked out a plan of communication so he shouldn't

worry but he interrupted me, "Wait, Edward…just let me finish, okay? Please?"

I nodded again and he turned to his side and rested his head on his arm, "When I
first came to Forks, I felt like my life was over…like I just wanted to sleep and never
wake up…only sleeping didn't help because of the nightmares. I was fucked in both
worlds. James didn't have to threaten me…I would've ended up exactly the same
way regardless. And then when I came to and I woke up in the hospital…I felt even
worse because I couldn't even kill myself right. I was mad at you for saving me…I
didn't want to be saved."

I gulped and mimicked his position.

He took a deep breath and continued, "When you came into that room and told me
about your past…I don't know what it was…I really kinda started looking up to you. I
mean, I had known you for a couple of months and you were always really smart and
funny and nice…but I never realized how incredibly strong you had been too. I guess
- 888 -
I figured that if you could come through those things and still be a whole, real
person…then maybe I could too."

He began running his fingers over the patterns on the bedspread as he continued
quietly speaking, "I thought about you every day while I was in the hospital
struggling to try and fix myself again…and then one night, they brought you into my
room. Your eyes were closed and you were all…broken. No one told me what
happened to you and I laid there all night long and just watched as you screamed
and cried…not really sleeping but not really awake either. And I watched for three
weeks…and in those three weeks, I'm not ashamed to say that having you there,
helped me. I wasn't so focused on my nightmares anymore…I just wanted to help
you through yours."

I didn't know what to say. We had never really talked about the three weeks I was
comatose in the hospital. I never even thought about how it affected him. I really
wasn't a very good friend…I would have to work on that.

He looked up at me for the first time really, "One night you kicked your blanket
off…I came over and threw it back over you but my hand ran across your shoulder
as I pulled it up…you reached up and grabbed my hand…pulled it into your neck and
just kinda cuddled my arm. I tried to gently pull it away but you just kept whispering
'Please don't go…don't leave…stay,' so I let you cuddle up to it and I fell asleep next
to you. The next day, you woke up."

I suddenly felt my heart pick up a little as I whispered, "We didn't…um…do

anything…"

Tommy furrowed his brows, "Of course not, Edward. I would never take advantage
of you like that."

I let out a breath, "I'm sorry…that was a stupid thing to ask. Why are you telling
me this now?"

He looked down at the bedspread again, "I just wanted you to know that if things
get bad again for you…if you feel like you're going to break…come to me…I can
watch you scream and cry…I can be there for you…I can even hold your hand if you
want me to."

I smiled and could feel my cheeks blush a little, though I wasn't quite sure why.

Was he hitting on me? No, he's just being a good friend…quit being a jerk…I
mean, Jay holds hands with Alice all the time and I've seen him take Brady's a few
- 889 -
times…this is no different…

I slid my hand out palm up, "You're a really good friend, Tommy. Thanks."

He smiled a real smile and took my hand in his, "So are you, Edward."

And the minute his hand touched mine…I knew it was different.

"Hey Eddie, what's takin' you so…long?"

I looked up and there stood Jasper, shirtless and barefooted…and he looked

pissed…and hurt.

I yanked my hand away from Tommy's and we both scrambled off the bed. I
couldn't breathe as his storm blue eyes glared into mine.

Tommy spoke, finally breaking his glare, "Jasper, it's not what you think. Edward
and I are just friends. We've been through a lot together…"

Jasper's fists clenched and I shuddered because I knew he'd never hit me but I
wasn't so certain about Tommy.

But instead, he just clenched them a few times and took a couple deep breaths
before saying, "We've been through a lot together too…can I ask you something,
Tommy?"

Tommy nodded, "Sure, man."

Jasper was surprisingly calm as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned
against the dresser, "Do you wish you and Edward were more than friends?"

I didn't understand why he would even ask Tommy that, because he had been
nothing but a really good friend to me.

Tommy shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down as he mumbled, "He's
your boyfriend."

Jasper smirked, "That's not what I asked."

Wait…

I watched as Tommy raised his head up and spoke clearly this time, "Yes,
- 890 -
Jasper…I do wish that we were more than friends but I know how he feels about you.
Are you feeling insecure about your relationship or something?"

Oh shit…how the hell did this turn into a pissing match?

Jasper smiled, "Nope. Edward's mine. I know that. I trust him. I just wanted to
make sure that you understood it too because even if I'm not around…he's still mine.
So, you can just keep on wishin' cuz it ain't ever gonna happen."

That was kind of mean and I started to say something to him, "Jasper…"

But Tommy cut me off, "Edward is a person, Jasper. No one owns him. You're so
fucking possessive of him. Do you really think you're going to be the only guy that
Edward will ever be with? You're both sixteen, for Christ's sake…"

Jay turned toward him and glared as he sneered, "Do you really think he would
ever leave me for you? Keep fuckin' dreamin', man…"

Tommy looked over at me and sighed, "No, I know he would never leave you for
anybody…because he can't even see anyone but you. He's so wrapped up in you that
he doesn't even notice the rest of the world around him when you're near. I bet he's
never even seriously looked at another guy. It's not healthy. He's too young to be
this tied to you. I saw what it did to him when you left…and I've been through a lot
of fucked up shit, Jasper, but watching him go through that was the scariest thing
I've ever seen. I care about him…I'm his friend…I just don't ever want to see him
suffering that much again."

That's not true…I notice other guys…I mean, we've talked about actors and
musicians and stuff…and I'm possessive of him too…there's nothing wrong with
that…

Jasper looked kind of like he had the wind knocked out of him and I was suddenly
upset with Tommy, "You just don't understand it, Tommy. I know that to an outsider
it looks crazy…maybe it is…but I need him…"

Tommy sighed as he finally broke his eyes from mine and looked down at the
floor, "I know you do, Edward…but as your friend, I just wish you were with him
because you loved him and not because you couldn't survive without him. There may
come a time when you don't have him, for whatever reason…and I just want to make
sure that you're going to be okay if that happens. And I hope that we can still be
friends because I like talking to you…and you can't really hold it against me that I
think you're fucking unbelievably hot…I mean, look at you…but I don't want you to
- 891 -
be mine…I want you to be yours and just hope that you like talking to me too."

My chest felt like it was constricting and I didn't understand why. I felt my cheeks
heat up again and I squeezed my eyes shut. A moment later, I felt those familiar
loving fingertips run across my cheek and the deep southern drawl, "Breathe,
baby…"

I gasped for a breath and looked up into his midnight eyes. I loved Jasper. I
needed him. Nothing would change that.

His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to him as he whispered,
"Fuck it, Edward…if we're crazy then we're just fuckin' crazy cuz I can't even
breathe without you…"

I nodded and whispered back, "I'm yours, Jay."

He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss me gently. His smooth honey lips
reassured me that he was mine as well.

When he pulled away, I noticed that Tommy was gone.

I let out a breath and shook my head, "I'm sorry, Jay…we were just talking and I
thought that it wouldn't be any different than when you hold Alice's hand…but it was
different. I shouldn't have done it but we really didn't do anything but talk. He's just
my friend…you know how I feel about you."

Jasper's smile fell as he looked down at the ground, all arrogance completely
evaporated, "I know how you feel about me, Edward…but if we're separated is it
gonna be enough? Two years is a long time and before I came along, you wouldn't
let anyone touch you. I remember how you used to flinch anytime one of the guys
would touch your arm…and now, you don't flinch. All of your friends can touch you
and hug you and I think it's really great, Edward. You need that…to be touched. It
helps keep you connected to the real world. And if you say that there's nothing
between you and Tommy then I believe you."

I whispered in his ear, "I love you, Jay. Thank you…I thought this was going to end
in an ugly fight."

He pulled back and looked into my eyes as he smiled, "I'm gonna have to get used
to the fact that other people are gonna want you, Edward. You're too fuckin' perfect
for you to go unnoticed. I just gotta have faith that what we have is real and that no
one can fuckin' touch us. I just need to know that no one else's touch makes you feel
- 892 -
the way mine does…"

I moaned softly as his fingers trailed down my ass until he had a firm grip and was
pulling me closer to him. His other hand slid underneath my thigh and gently lifted
my leg up around him as he laid me back on the dresser top.

My body erupted into a million tiny little pleasure sensors as the feel of his denim
covered cock slid against mine and the hard cold dresser against my back while
Jasper's strong, hot body pressed me into it…his warm breath on my neck and his
golden curls tickling my cheeks as he hovered above me…

I managed a breathless, "No one could ever make me feel the way you do, Jay."

He raised up and smiled, "And no one will ever get to touch all those secret places
that make you squirm and beg, right?"

I smiled back, "Right. Only you, Jay. I'm yours."

His baby blue eyes gleamed as he smiled that beautiful dimpled grin, "I'm yours
too, Eddie. No matter where I'm at…I'm yours."

Then he laughed, "As much as I'd really love to rip these fuckin jeans off ya right
now, we do have a whole house full of fuckers who drove a long damn way to see us.
I'll get'cha later, baby."

I huffed a little but knew he was right. He raised up and then I hopped off the
dresser. He took my hand in his and we started to walk downstairs. He asked me,
"Did you even know that Tommy liked you?"

I shook my head, "No, not really."

He sighed, "I figured you didn't…after I calmed down, anyway. Just be careful,
Edward. Don't lead him on. I remember what it's like to want you and not be able to
have you…I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Now, that I have you…losing you
is the scariest fuckin' thing I can even think of…I love you, Edward…just never
forget that, okay?"

I pushed him against the wall and kissed him soundly, hoping to push any
insecurities away.

By the time we got outside to the back patio, things were just like I remembered.
Emmett was drinking a beer and cooking some hamburgers on the grill. Rosalie,
- 893 -
Alice, and Brady were in the pool. Tommy was messing around with the sound
system, trying to find some music.

Emmett smiled over at us, "Everything cool?"

Jasper nodded as he grabbed a beer, "Yeah, man. No worries."

Emmett let out a breath and went back to cooking and Jay walked over and
started helping him.

And it was just like old times. We all laughed and messed around and just hung
out. As great as it had been with just me and Jay, I was really happy to have all of
our friends with us too.

It was beginning to reach dusk when we moved the party to the beach. Em and Jay
got a fire started while Tommy and Brady were goofing off in the water. I was
sipping one of Alice's famous Pina Colada's while she braided Rosalie's hair.

"So, Alice, why couldn't Jane come?"

She sighed and looked down, "We actually broke up about two weeks ago."

"I'm sorry…that sucks."

She just smiled softly, "It's okay, we're still friends. We just didn't have any time to
really spend together. She was always so busy with Gracie and school and
working…I was happy with what she gave me but she didn't feel like it was fair so
we decided to just chill for awhile and be friends. I love her to pieces…I'm sure I
always will but I think she was right. I need affection and attention…lots of it!"

She giggled and Rosalie laughed.

Brady came up running and flopped down on the sand. He was dripping wet and
laughing, "Okay, enough swimming for tonight. I'm ready to party. I need a man."

Tommy laughed now as he sat down beside him, "You're always looking for a man.
You don't have to be in such a rush, Brady."

Brady smirked, "I've got needs, Tommy."

Tommy rolled his eyes and popped the top off his beer. He took a long drink and
then lit up a cigarette. I took another drink of my third Pina Colada and couldn't
- 894 -
help but notice the way Tommy looked in front of the fire and moonlight. The black
waves crashing behind him that only seemed to make his onyx hair shimmer more
against the soft white rays of light. The fire illuminated his face as he smiled over at
Brady and just shook his head. His lips were different from Jay's. His were a little
smaller but plumper…more of a rose color than the pale pink I was used to seeing.
His electric blue eyes were a shocking contrast against the red and orange flames
behind him. He was really quite stunning when I took a moment to look.

Then I immediately felt my chest constrict at the thought that I was sitting here
checking out Tommy. This really was the first time I had ever noticed another guy
besides Jasper. It felt foreign…different…but not entirely horrible. That made me
feel even worse. What the hell was wrong with me? I had the most incredible
boyfriend in the whole world and I'm checking out my friend…I'm a horrible person.

Am I a slut? Does Jasper ever check out other guys?

Tommy and Brady went inside to change into some dry clothes. I continued
drinking as I watched Jay and Emmett goofing off and hanging out.

It didn't take long until the beach was filled with people. Apparently, Emmett
knew a lot of the locals as well as some returning vacationers.

It had blown up into a full blown beach party. Alice was dancing with some
brunette girl who was just a few inches taller than her. Rose and Em were dancing
now too as him and Jay finished up their impromptu game of football. The music was
blaring and the alcohol was flowing freely.

Jasper walked up and sank down behind me, "Will you hand me a beer, babe?"

I nodded and reached over and grabbed one for him. As I gave it to him, he pulled
me back against his chest and stretched his long legs out on either side of me. He
had been spending a lot of time with Emmett today. I had really missed the feel of
his body against mine.

I snuggled back into his chest and he laughed, "You been havin' fun, darlin?"

I nodded, "Yeah…missed you though."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "I missed you too, baby boy."

We sat for awhile and just talked and drank and listened to the music. I knew I
was perhaps a little drunk when I couldn't stop my head and shoulders from swaying
- 895 -
to the beat.

Jay laughed behind me and I could feel the rumble of his chest against my back. I
turned my head to look into his eyes and he smiled, "Wanna dance, babe?"

I smiled back, "Yeah."

He finished his beer in one drink and tossed it into the trash can as he grabbed my
hands and pulled me up. I swear I could feel the music vibrating through my body
and that thought made me giggle a little.

He was still shirtless and barefooted and I looked up at him as our bodies moved
together…he looked absolutely sinful in the soft glow of the fire. He was too
beautiful to look at so I closed my eyes and just felt…I felt his hardness against my
ass…his strong chest against my back…his curls against my cheeks as his lips and
teeth attached to my neck…

I was getting worked up fast…I could feel the heat coursing through my body…

I heard the sound of laughter and opened my eyes to see Brady and Tommy sitting
by the fire. There was a guy standing there talking to them and I watched as he held
his hand out to Tommy. He took it and soon they were dancing not too far from us.
The guy was only wearing a pair of swimming trunks and I noticed that he kept
trying to pull Tommy closer but he was resisting.

Eventually, Tommy shoved the guy away and took off walking down the beach.
And I really wanted to go and talk to him…even with the distraction of Jasper's body
moving behind me.

I turned and looked up at his beautiful face. His eyes opened and he looked
confused, "What's wrong, baby?"

I took a breath, "I…um…uh…never mind."

I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck but he quickly pulled
away and lifted my chin, "What's goin' on, Edward?"

I took another breath and tried again, "I just saw Tommy dancing with this guy
and it looked like the guy was getting kind of, um…grabby. Anyway, Tommy took off
down the beach and I wanted to just…um…go check and make sure he's okay."

I saw him take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Finally he nodded, "Yeah,
- 896 -
Edward…you should go check on him…he's your friend. Just…don't go far, okay?
Please?"

I smiled, "I won't, Jay. Thanks."

He smiled back, "It's no big deal, Eddie."

I started to walk away when I saw Brady still sitting there, by himself now. I
sighed and turned back to Jasper, "Hey Jay? Why don't you ask Brady to dance while
I'm gone?"

He furrowed his brows, "Are you sure that's a good idea? I don't wanna make you
jealous."

I shrugged, "I'll be okay. I trust you both. Just don't enjoy it too much."

He smiled, "Okay. Thanks, Edward."

I smiled back, "It's no big deal, Jay."

I turned and started walking after Tommy but looked back to see the look of pure
astonishment of Brady's face as Jasper pulled him up. Any jealousy that I might feel,
was completely overwhelmed by that look.

I trudged down the beach for a couple minutes until I finally saw him, sitting in
the sand looking out over the water. He looked over and tilted his head with a
confused look, "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged as I plopped down beside him, "I just wanted to check on you…make
sure you were alright."

He smiled softly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I can't stand for guys to just…feel like they can
touch me however they want. Can I ask you something?"

I pulled my knees up to my chin and took a breath as I looked out over the water,
"Yeah."

He took a big breath and whispered, "I know that you and Jasper have…ya
know…done it…and I was wondering…how do you handle it? I mean…"

He looked over at me and I could feel my cheeks burning.

- 897 -
 "You know that Brady and I have fooled around a little and for the most part, I'm
okay with him but…I have to concentrate on not freaking out. How do you do it?"

I gulped and shook my head, "I don't know, Tommy. I guess…it's kind of like what
you said earlier…when I'm with Jay, I can't focus on anything but him…the way he
feels, the way he smells…the way he tastes…"

Then I really turned red and Tommy chuckled, "It's okay, Edward. I want you to be
able to talk to me."

I smiled sheepishly and looked over at him, "Okay. So, well…um…what kind of
stuff have you and Brady done?"

He turned red now as he looked away, "Uh…mostly just, um…dry humping…some

kissing…that's about it."

I nodded, "Okay, well…um…do you find him attractive?"

He shrugged, "I mean, Brady's really cute and everything…but he's not really my
type. So…I guess I'm not really that physically attracted to him."

I smiled, "That's probably your whole problem, Tommy. Just looking at Jasper
makes me har…"

I stopped and I'm sure my face expressed the complete shock I was feeling as I
said it.

Tommy started laughing and shook his head, "A little too much information,
Edward."

I could feel my whole face burn as I mumbled, "Sorry."

A moment later he sighed, "It's okay, Edward. Can I ask you one more thing?"

I continued looking anywhere but at him but I nodded.

"Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to kiss someone else?"

I raised my head and furrowed my brows, "No, never. I love him."

He smiled softly, "I know you do, Edward, but do you honestly want to go through
the rest of your life without having ever kissed anyone but Jasper?"
- 898 -
 "I have kissed other people…Tanya…Jessica…"

He chuckled again, "I mean someone who you might actually be somewhat
attracted to, Edward. I mean, another guy."

I shook my head, "I could never do that. He's the only person I could ever kiss."

He sighed, "No, Edward…he's the only person who you would kiss…not could kiss.
You could kiss anyone you wanted to actually. You'll never know what possibilities
you may be missing because you're too afraid to live without him…not because you
can't live without him. The world wouldn't stop if you two weren't together."

I scoffed, "I am not afraid! Jasper makes me strong…"

He shook his head, "No, Edward! Jasper may inspire your strength but, believe
me…it's all you. You say you're not afraid, then prove it. Kiss me and see if the world
ends."

I huffed as I started to stand up, "You're not going to trick me into kissing you."

He jumped up and grabbed my hands, turning my body to his, "Stop, Edward…I'm

not trying to trick you. I'm just trying to prove a point."

His hands were wrapped around my forearms and the texture of his skin felt odd.
It wasn't quite as rough as Jay's but was just as warm. I looked up into his eyes as
the wind blew wavy strands of onyx hair in front of electric blue eyes that were
lidded and staring into mine. I needed to move…get away fast because when his
pink tongue slid out over his plump bottom lip…my breathing hitched and I briefly
wondered what it might taste like…what it might feel like…

This is very, very dangerous for me…I'm just drunk and God knows that drinking
makes me horny. That's all this is…it isn't him…I could never want anyone but
Jay…he was wrong, if I kissed him, the whole world would end.

The next thing I knew, plump lips were pressed softly against mine. My whole
body was on fire and I felt tingly and weird and kind of like I wanted to throw up. I
pulled away with a gasp and took a step back.

He opened his eyes and smiled, "See, Edward…the world's still standing…"

I looked around, half dazed and weary to see the same dark water crashing
against the shoreline…the same white moon cascading down across the wet
- 899 -
sand…the music and laughter from the party not too far down the beach…the world
seemed completely unaware that I had just been kissed by another man.

He smiled, "Don't worry, Edward. I won't tell anyone. I know it didn't mean
anything and I don't want any more problems with Jasper. I just thought you should
know that no matter what…the world keeps going. We better get back before he
starts to worry about you."

I just nodded and started walking back, still completely dumfounded because he
was right…the world hadn't ended…but it had been exponentially changed.

- 900 -
 Chapter 43

Boy, I really pissed some of you guys off. Trust me, there was a reason for
what happened last chapter. I hope this explains it all. I guess that's a good
thing though, that you guys care enough about the boys to get really peeved
at me…anyway, I hope you enjoy.

It will probably be a few weeks until I update again, I'm just super busy
with real life right now, my birthday is this month and so is my anniversary
but I wanted to get this chapter to you guys as soon as I could…

Songs are on my youtube, link is in my profile ;)

I Need You by Lynyrd Skynyrd, Keep Me by The Black Keys, Everything

Changes by Staind, Flames by The Black Keys (just the music, not the
words)

Jay's POV

I was so fuckin' grateful to have my friends back. Before Forks, I never really had
any real friends so when I lost Edward, I lost every friend I had too. I wouldn't let
that shit happen again.

Emmett was my best friend, after Edward. Truth be known, I kinda looked up to
him. He was one of the best guys I had ever known. Rose was definitely how I
picture my sister bein'. Her skin may be way prettier than mine, but it was just as
thick. I didn't worry too much about Rose, especially with Emmett looking after her.

Now Alice sometimes worried me. All the outsiders could see was a bouncy,
peppy, happy girl…but I saw a little deeper. I've seen Alice stare blankly at the same
page in her book for over an hour…I've seen her gasp for air because she couldn't
stop talking…I was pretty sure that she was manic.

Brady…what could I say about Brady? That kid was gonna be just fine. He was
funny as hell and sweet and even though he was only 5'7...he was a tough little shit.

I don't like Tommy. And I'm probably gonna end up punching him in the face if he
don't quit fuckin' with Edward. He can try and pull this 'I'm just tryin' to be your
friend' shit but I knew better. He was manipulating Edward to try and think the way
he did. That worried me cuz Eddie hadn't had much practice at dealing with that

- 901 -
kind of shit before. He still had a hard time understanding the people around him
sometimes. Tommy knew that shit and was taking advantage of it.

But, then again, maybe he had a small point? I didn't want Edward to be with me
cuz he was afraid to be with anyone else…I wanted him to be with me cuz he knew
that no one else could compare…that no one could love him as good as I did…cuz
that's how I felt about him.

Em grabbed the football and a couple beers, "C'mon, dude…let's go throw the old
pigskin around…it's been awhile since we talked."

I took a beer and started walking next to him as we made our way down the beach
I bit.

"So, Em, how's shit been at home, man?"

He shrugged, "Same old shit, different day. Me and Rosie have been trying to
figure out what we're gonna do after school. We only have one year left, man."

I took a long pull from my beer, "Yeah, it sucks that I'm gonna miss it."

He smiled, "I think things are gonna work out, Jay. Carlisle's been working his ass
off…Peter's helping him now…and Esme…dude, you've got all these people gunning
for you. Me, Rose, and Alice are going to Texas too. We're gonna take my Jeep and
follow you guys. Sometimes it's hard to hear just one person…but it's pretty fuckin'
hard to ignore eight. And it doesn't matter anyway, man…we're, like…bros and shit."

I laughed, obviously feelin' the affects of the liquor now, "Holy shit, all of ya'll are
goin' down there? I can't wait to see the look on my daddy's face…"

Em stopped walking and looked out over the water, "Are you scared, Jay?"

Em knew me pretty well…

I sighed, "Yeah, man…shitless."

He nodded, "What happened with Tommy earlier?"

I was grateful that he changed the subject cuz I kinda did wanna talk to him about
this, "I walked in and found him and Edward lying on the bed holding hands. Edward
told me it was nothin' but he could tell that it was different when he held Tommy's
hand…I don't yet if different is good or bad. Can I ask you somethin?"
- 902 -
 He nodded, "Yeah, dude."

"Do you think that me and Edward will make it if I go to Texas?"

He smiled, "I'd bet my fucking life on it, man. Look, Jay, I know how Tommy feels
about the relationship you have with Edward. I hear it all the time too…me and Rose
are too young…too serious…it's not healthy…do what I just do and tell him to mind
his own fucking business. He's so god damn cynical anymore, it drives me crazy…I
mean, yeah, Rosie and me, we're possessive and clingy and shit…but fuck it, we're
still fucking teenagers and we need each other right now. As we get older, we'll
learn how to stand on our own a little more. Tommy's just jealous because he wants
what you have. Don't over think it too much, man."

That's what I needed to hear…me and Edward would be alright.

I smiled, "Thanks, man."

He grinned, "Ya know, dude…I am a fucking wealth of knowledge…you'd know

that shit if you'd pick up the fucking phone once in a while and called me."

I sighed, "I know, Em…I'm sorry I didn't call you. I was just…so fuckin' lost, man."

He looked over and smiled softly, "I know, Jay…but what have you learned?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "I've learned that you're a wealth of fucking
knowledge…and we're, like, bros and shit…"

He laughed and jumped up, "Good…now go long, fucker!"

I took off runnin' and turned just in time to catch the ball. This is what I needed
right now…a couple of hours to just not think about this.

I spent most of the day just fucking around with Em…trying to give Edward a little
space to work this shit out on his own.

But he had been acting off all day. So, when he said he wanted to go talk to
Tommy, I told him he should…cuz this will never work if I don't trust him. And if he
needs help figuring shit out, then I would just be his best friend and help him.

But as I watched him take off after another fuckin' man…I'm not ashamed to admit
that my ego was a little bruised. Brady knew it as soon as my smile fell. He grabbed
my hand and pulled me over to some logs that people were sittin' on. He sat next to
- 903 -
me and sighed, "What's wrong, Jay?"

I took a breath and looked out over the water, "I think Edward doesn't understand
how he feels about Tommy. I made Tommy admit that he liked him today."

Brady nodded, "Yeah, I know. I've told him a hundred times to leave it alone. He
just doesn't get you two. He doesn't see it for what it really is. It's love, plain and
simple. I saw it the first time Edward kissed you in front of me."

I weakly smiled over at Brady, "Yeah…but Tommy's good lookin' and they're
close…"

Brady furrowed his brows, "Jasper? What are you saying?"

I looked down, "Edward went to go find him. I can fuckin' guarantee you that
Tommy's gonna try and kiss him."

Brady sighed, "How do you know that?"

I shrugged, "Cuz I would try and kiss him if he wasn't mine…did I ever tell you
about the first time we kissed?"

He shook his head and I took a breath, "I wanted to kiss him…I don't think I even
realized it yet. We were only thirteen and I told him that he could practice on me if
he wanted to. It was his first kiss. I told him that I wouldn't tell anybody and that I
would help him if he needed it. Maybe I manipulated him into kissin' me…I don't
know…"

Brady huffed, "That's total BS, Jasper! You gave him a choice…he could of easily
said no and laughed it off…you gave him a choice and he chose to kiss you. Now,
why the hell are you sitting here with me when someone is after your man? Get your
ass up and go fight for him!"

I took a long pull from my beer, "I've been fightin' my whole fuckin' life, Brady…I
still am. The one fuckin' thing in this whole world that I shouldn't have to fight for is
Edward. I need to trust him. I need to know that if somethin' happened that he
wouldn't lie to me. I need him to know that he can talk to me about anything. I know
him. He's probably really confused right now cuz he's never been attracted to
anyone before but me…he probably doesn't know how to feel about it and I pray like
hell that he comes walkin' up here in a few minutes and tells me exactly what he's
feelin' so I can help him through it. I've always helped him sort this shit out, ya
know. Anytime something happened that was new to him…we'd always talk about
- 904 -
it…trust me, I'll know if something happened the moment I look into his eyes."

We sat there for a little while as my stomach churned and I tried desperately to
keep focused cuz I knew the second I lost focus, I would be findin' Tommy and
stompin' a mud hole in his ass. I wanted Edward to come to me…to be honest with
me. I fuckin' needed it, especially with the looming hourglass above my head before
I might be gone again.

Emmett walked up with my guitar, grinning like a fool, "Dude? You gotta play,
man. The lead singer just got into a fight with some asshole and they need a
replacement. I can get some music going from the house but it won't be nearly as
loud."

Music always calms me down…

I nodded and grabbed the guitar as I stood. Em led me and Brady over to the guys
and introduced me. They were just some local college band so they didn't have a
stage or anything, they just had their shit set up in the sand. We talked for a minute
about songs they knew and I was happy that they knew a lot of the same ones I did.

So, I closed my eyes and began playin' "I Need You" by Lynyrd Skynyrd…hopin'
like hell that Edward heard this shit and that it made Tommy's skin fuckin' crawl.

As I sang the chorus, I opened up my eyes to see Edward standing there staring at
me with red rimmed eyes and a look of pain across his beautiful face. And I knew…

Something happened…

I felt my chest constrict as I squeezed my eyes shut for just a second to get my
bearings. My first instinct was to beat the fuckin' brakes off of Tommy for touchin'
my boy…but I had to try and be the better man cuz if I moved back to Texas, Edward
needed to know that I could control myself.

If he even wants to be with me anymore. Is he gonna break up with me? Does he

want Tommy? This can't be fuckin' happening…

I opened my eyes again and they burned with tears I was tryin' real hard not to
shed. I was also tryin' real fuckin' hard to play through the pain…cuz seriously…this
shit fuckin' hurt.

As soon as the song was finished, I looked over at Em, "Hey, I need a minute."

- 905 -
 He nodded, "Sure, Jay."

I took a breath and started walking the opposite direction cuz I wasn't strong
enough to handle this shit right now.

Then I heard his voice singing softly over the mic and turned to see him holding
my guitar and looking straight into my eyes, "If you just walked away, what could I
really say? Would it matter anyway? Would it change how you feel?"

Nothing will change how I feel about you…

"I am the mess you chose, the closet you cannot close. The devil in you I suppose,
'cause the wounds never heal…"

I know you're all fucked up inside, Edward…I'm fucked up too…

"But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to
forgive me then I could learn to feel."

I remembered back to the night when he snuck over to my house on Christmas…

"Well, it's just…like…I don't know how to…feel things without you around...So on
my own…everything just gets jumbled and I don't know how to handle it…"

"Sometimes the things I say, in moments of disarray, succumbing to the games we

play, to make sure that it's real…"

It's real…

"But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to
forgive me then I could learn to feel."

I'll help you understand what you're feelin'…

"When it's just me and you…who knows what we could do…if we can just make it
through…the toughest part of the day…"

We can make it through anything.

"But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to
forgive me then I could learn to feel. Then we could stay here together and we could
conquer the world, if we could say that forever is more than just a word…"
- 906 -
 It's always been you and me against the whole fuckin' world, Eddie…forever.

"If you just walked away…what could I really say? And would it matter anyway? It
wouldn't change how you feel."

Fuck…you know I'm not goin' anywhere, baby…

He walked over and stood there while he looked down. I sighed as I reached out
with my hand and gently lifted his chin so that I could look in his eyes. They were
bright green and wild…his breathing started coming out in short labored
breaths…he was gonna have a panic attack if I didn't do something.

So, I ran my fingertips down his cheek…across his jaw…and then along his neck
as I leaned in and whispered, "Breathe, baby boy."

He gasped and sucked in a big breath before he just threw himself into my arms.
He was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. He was most definitely freaking out. He
sobbed out, "I'm so sorry, Jay…I'm so sorry…I don't know what happened…it was so
confusing…I pulled away…I didn't kiss him back…but I feel so weird…I know
you…hate me right now…but please help me…make me feel better…please…I need
you…"

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him even closer as I brushed my
fingers through his hair, "I could never hate you, Edward."

After a couple minutes, he calmed down and had himself under control again. I
pulled away and took his hand, "C'mon…let's go talk."

He didn't budge as he looked up at me with wide eyes and breathlessly whispered,

"Please don't break up with me, Jay…I love you so much…I'm so sorry…"

I smiled as best I could, "I'm not breakin' up with you, Edward…but we need to
talk about all this, okay?"

He nodded and followed me along until we were down the beach and out of the
crowd. I sat down and pulled him with me. He curled up in my lap and took a few
deep breaths.

I whispered, "Tell me everything, Eddie."

He looked up at me and whispered, "I asked him if he was okay and he said he just
didn't like for people to feel like they could just touch him however they
- 907 -
wanted…then he asked me how I dealt with…um…being with you…like…intimately,
without freaking out. And I thought about you…the way you feel and taste…and how
just looking at you gets me…um…excited. Then he asked if I ever wondered what
it'd be like to kiss someone else. I told him 'no…never'. And then he said that I was
afraid to live without you…I can't…I can't stand to feel…weak. He said that I should
prove that I wasn't afraid by kissing him…I got up to leave but he stopped me…then
he…he kissed me…"

My blood was boiling but I tried to stay calm. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it as
Edward scooted off my lap and knelt in front of me. He put his hands on my face and
tilted my chin up as he whispered, "I swear I didn't kiss him back, Jay…it only lasted
a second before I pulled away…but…it made me feel strange…and then all of his
babbling about the world not ending if I kissed someone else…I just felt so
confused…and then he said that he wouldn't tell anybody…but I could never lie to
you. That's it…that's everything."

I took a drag from my cigarette and nodded. I had to take a moment to process
everything before I spoke.

He sat down across from me now in the sand. I reached over and took his hand.

"Edward, thank you for tellin' me the truth. I'm gonna help you figure this out but
I gotta ask a couple questions first."

He nodded and started chewing on his lip.

I took a drag from my cigarette and slowly exhaled, "Do you think Tommy's…hot?"

He looked down and closed his eyes, "I never really thought about it before
today…but…yes."

I closed my eyes for a second to recover from that little blow. Then I just took
another drag of my square before speaking, "Did you wanna kiss him?"

He shook his head, "No…I didn't…but I, um…when he was standing there…so

close to me…I wondered…what it might be like…God, I'm just…evil…"

I briefly thought about breakin' every bone in that mother fucker's body before
turnin' my attention back to the situation at hand.

God, this shit was fuckin' hard sometimes…

- 908 -
 He was looking down at the sand now and I smiled as best I could as I ducked my
head down, "Hey? You're not evil, Edward. What you're feelin' is completely
normal."

He raised his eyes and furrowed his brows, "It doesn't feel normal…I feel…out of
control…I don't like it."

I nodded, "Eddie, you've never really been attracted to anyone other than me
before…I mean, like, someone you could actually date. Someone who you trusted
and someone who knows a lot about you…someone who knows you don't have a lot
of experience with this kinda thing…someone who likes you and wants you and
fights pretty fuckin' dirty. He took away your control by not givin' you a choice
whether you kissed him or not. I never took anything from you without askin'. The
first time I kissed you…the first time I touched you…the first time I tasted you…I
always gave you a choice…I always will."

He sighed, "I don't understand how I can love you so much and look at somebody
else like that…is there something wrong with me…does that make me…a bad
person…"

I smiled, "No, it makes you sixteen, Edward. Look at it for what it is…you've been
drinkin' so everything seems bigger right now than it really is…a boy who you think
is cute talked to you about sex and then got all up in your personal space…it's
normal that you thought about what kissin' him might feel like…"

He looked thoughtful for a moment before sighing, "God, I feel stupid…I told him
once, that my world began with you…and that my whole world would fall apart if I
didn't have you…he doesn't understand…when I said that, I was talking about you as
my best friend…the one who always helps me figure stuff out…the one who never
judges me…the one who puts my needs in front of his own because I know this must
be very difficult for you…"

I ran my thumb across the back of his soft hand and smiled, "A real friend doesn't
try and tell you how to feel, Edward…a real friend tries to help you figure it out for
yourself."

He looked out over the water, "I thought he was a real friend but all of those
things that we went through together…he wasn't there by choice, he was locked in a
room with me. But you, Jay…you could've left whenever you wanted to that very first
night we met…you chose to stay with me…"

I shrugged, "He probably does care about you but he stepped over some fuckin'
- 909 -
boundaries that he shoulda never crossed. We are possessive and dependant on
each other…but we're young…and we can figure out how to stand on our own two
feet without being ripped apart cuz that shit will come with age…as we mature, so
will our relationship. All I know, is I fuckin' need you right now, Edward. And now
that the world hasn't ended…how do you feel?"

He lifted my hand and very gently pressed his lips against the pad of my thumb.
Then he sighed with a beautiful crooked grin, "The world may not end if we're not
together, Jay…but it would really suck."

I smiled and took his face in my hands, "Good…remember that shit the next time
some mother fucker's all up in your space…if it happens again, what are you gonna
do?"

He laughed, "Kick him in the nuts…"

And I had to ask, "Now that you've been kissed by another man…how do you
feel?"

He sighed, "Everything feels different now, Jay. Tommy was trying to tell me that I
had a choice but I know now that I don't. Jasper, you are the only person who has
ever touched me without making me flinch the first time…the very first day we met,
your arm was on my shoulder or your hand was touching my back…and it didn't
scare me…I craved it…your touch…yours alone…even at thirteen years old. I opened
up to you the first night I met you when doctors had been trying to get me to talk for
years…that's what Tommy doesn't get. Normal people may have a choice…but we're
not normal because I know you feel the same way. Look at us from the very
beginning…we never had a choice, Jay. We're drawn to each other like moths to a
flame…it's not tingles and confusion…it's frenetic white heat and the gratifying
knowledge that we have what everyone else wants."

He stood up on his knees and shifted his body so that he was straddling my thigh.
I wrapped my arms around his waist while his went around my neck. His soft
fingertips played with the curls at the nape of my neck and I ran my fingertips
gently along the edge of his jeans at the top of his ass.

He looked down at me as his eyes grew darker, "Maybe in Tommy's world, I would
feel the need to explore other relationships to know how I truly feel about you…but
to Hell Tommy because I don't live in his world. You and me, Jay…we defy the real
world. And maybe I'm insane but I don't care…you'll always be my Superman…you'll
always be my angel…and I will never want anyone the way that I want you…"

- 910 -
 He leaned down and brushed my lips with his as he whispered, "Song of Solomon
2:16."

I flicked my tongue softly against his bottom lip as I whispered back a breathless,
"My beloved is mine and I am his."

His cherry lips parted and I could feel every emotion he had pouring from him like
a sieve. I drank him in like a man dying of thirst as his love and gratitude and
devotion squelched out any flames of doubt.

When he pulled away, flushed and breathless and hard as a rock…he smiled, "You
may not be perfect…but you're perfect for me."

I smiled, "You may be crazy…but I'm crazy for you."

He started laughing now as he rolled his eyes, "That was really cheesy, Jay."

I laughed, "Dude? You're gonna have to face the fact that I'm eventually gonna run
out of smooth things to say to you. Will you still love me if I'm not cool?"

He feigned shock, "Someone said you were cool?"

I was grinnin' like a fool, "You're an asshole."

I saw that crooked grin and bright green eyes, "Yeah…will you love me anyway?"

"Yeah, Eddie…I can do that."

I thought about puttin' a beat down on Tommy but then thought, fuck it. I got the
boy…he's mine. I could be mature and not resort to physical violence. Besides, it
would be way more grown up to just rub it in his stupid ugly face.

I grabbed Eddie's hand and pulled him up, "C'mon, babe. I promised Em I'd play a
few songs."

When we got back over to the party, I made sure we were in Tommy's line of sight
as I pulled Edward to me and kissed him for all I was worth…I trailed my hands
down his back and to his ass where I grabbed two handfuls and squeezed…then I
started nibbling that little spot on his neck that makes him growl.

By the time I pulled away, he was breathless and half dazed. I walked over to the
mic and grabbed my guitar. I told the guys what I wanted to play and they were cool
- 911 -
with it so I looked over at my baby boy and smiled as I began wailin' The Black Keys,
"Keep Me."

And as I sang, I looked over at Tommy as he glared back at me.

I sang a few songs and finally they found someone else so I grabbed a beer,
Edward's hand and my guitar.

It was gettin' pretty wild so Edward leaned into my ear and whisper shouted,
"Let's go somewhere we can be alone."

That sounds like a fuckin' great idea to me…

Of course, Tommy had to stop us as we were starting to walk down the beach.

Brady was following behind him rolling his eyes as he muttered, "Don't come
crying to me when you get your ass kicked…"

He reached out and grabbed Edward's arm, "Hey wait…"

My first instinct was to hit him…obviously…but instead I figured I'd give Edward a
chance to stand up for us.

Then I'd hit him…maturity can wait a couple more years…

Edward turned and pulled his arm away, "Tommy? After that shit that you just
pulled you'll be lucky to stay my friend…"

Tommy huffed, "Oh my God, did he brain wash you again? Why does he have this
kind of hold on you? He's fucking trash…"

I didn't even have time to react before Edward sucker punched him. I laughed,
"Oh shit! Good hit, Eddie."

He just furrowed his brows and shook his hand out as Tommy lay there holding his
jaw. Then he looked down and sighed, "Our friendship is over. He is the single most
important thing in my life and I will stand up for him. And it's too bad because I'm
sure you could use a friend right now…I know that you're depressed and angry and
you feel completely alone…don't forget that I was in the same hospital as you…but
Tommy, you're pushing away everyone who cares about you. I mean, you knew what
you were doing tonight. You tell me that you can't stand for people to touch you any
way they wanted and then you kiss me when you knew I didn't want it…a real friend
- 912 -
would've never kissed me without permission…especially someone who claims to
know me so well…maybe we were never really friends at all…"

Tommy stood back up as his eyes began to glisten, "I'm sorry, Edward…I don't
know what's wrong with me. I didn't mean what I said about Jasper…he was actually
really nice to me when I came to Forks…"

I felt the need to step in now, "Yeah, fucker, I was nice to you…Em's like a fuckin'
brother to me and by default, I cared about you too. At one time, I even thought we
were friends but let me explain somethin' to you…you kissed my boy while he was
drunk and after he told you he didn't wanna kiss you…where I come from…that shit
merits an ass whoopin'…but since Eddie already took care of that…I'm just gonna
say 'fuck off', cuz you may not understand what me and Edward have but who gives
you the fuckin' right to judge it?"

He shook his head, "Nobody…I'm sorry. I just care about him and you're so damn
possessive and it's like he's in a daze when he's with you…"

I rolled my eyes, "I guess I never noticed cuz I'm always stuck in the same fuckin'
daze…this shit isn't one sided…"

He glared again as he snapped out, "Maybe not but you've been around the block
a time or two, Jasper, and Edward is naïve and innocent…"

I smiled, "Well, he's not so innocent anymore…"

Tommy clenched his fists, "You're a controlling bastard who will just throw
Edward away once you're done with him…"

I think I finally got it.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my calm as I sneered, "I'm not James…"

He glared at me for a minute before storming off.

Edward sighed, "Man, he's really messed up right now."

I nodded, "Yeah, but we're all fucked up, Edward…"

He laced his fingers with mine and smiled, "Come on, Jay…I need to just be with
you and forget about the rest of the world for awhile."

- 913 -
 I smiled back as we started walking down the beach again but he stopped and
grinned over at me, "Um…let's go back to the house so we can have some real
privacy?"

He asked it as a question and I laughed, "Uh huh…you just wanna have your dirty
way with me."

He chuckled and blushed a little, "Yeah…does that make me bad?"

I smiled, "Hell yeah it does and it's fuckin' awesome."

We said good night to the gang and headed into the house. Emmett kicked us out
of the main bedroom cuz he wanted some naughty time with Rosie underneath that
mirror…can't say that I blamed him.

So, we walked to our new bedroom and Edward took off running and giggling. I
laughed as I walked into the room and saw him sitting on the bed, smiling up at me
while he leaned back on his hands. I knew that smirk and that gleam in his eyes…I
had seen it many, many nights.

I smiled as I stopped and reached behind me to the door knob. He stood as I

turned the lock. Before I even heard the 'click', his arms were around me and his
lips were on mine. I pulled him inhumanly close and devoured my sweet baby boy as
I walked him clumsily backwards to the bed.

His hands were fumbling with my zipper as my expert hands quickly popped open
his button fly jeans and yanked them fuckers down to his knees.

He laughed breathlessly as I pushed him back onto the bed. I could see his pretty
cock straining against the dark green boxer briefs as he reached up and yanked me
down on top of him.

Our lips crashed together, as did our overheated bodies and immediately, we were
grinding hard against each other. Our hands were grabbing clothes and doing our
best to rip them off of one another but our bodies refused to part.

I felt his hard cock slide against mine through my jeans and then his hands on my
back, pushing them down as hard as he could.

I lifted up and reached down to pop open the button of my jeans and get the
zipper down before he tore those fuckers right off me.

- 914 -
 When my cock sprang forth, his hand wrapped around it as his other one yanked
me back down to him. I pushed into his hand and could still feel his hardness
through the fabric of his boxer briefs.

I kicked off my jeans and the moment they hit the floor, I reached down and drug
his jeans and underwear down his long legs until they joined mine. He sat up and
ripped off his shirt, tossing it aside somewhere as I slowly crawled back up his
body…kissing and nipping all those little spots that drive him wild…like the inside of
his thighs…he can't take that shit.

Once he was a shaking, shivering mess…I took the head of his plump cock
between my lips and sucked gently before plunging down on it.

His back arched and both hands tangled in my blonde curls as he moaned my
name over and over again.

I felt him tug at my hair and I looked up at him as I just swirled my tongue around
the swollen ridge.

He groaned, "Please, Jay…can't wait…need you, baby…please, Love…"

I let his cock slip from my mouth as he pulled me up to him and kissed me hard.

I broke away with a breathless, "Wait a second, baby boy…"

I reached down to the floor and pulled the small bottle of lube outta my pocket,
before settling back in between my boys legs.

I poured a little onto my fingers and then set the bottle aside. I reached down and
whispered, "Open up for me, pretty boy."

His legs opened further and he pushed his ass against my fingers. I began
preparing him as he pulled me back down to him again.

When he was ready, I gently pulled away and grabbed the lube again. I got myself
ready and added a little more lube to him.

Then I leaned down over him with one hand by his head and the other positioning
my straining cock at his tight, slick entrance.

I saw him shiver and I whispered, "Are you cold, baby?"

- 915 -
 He smiled softly, "A little…"

Then he reached down and grabbed the blanket, pulling it up over us to my

shoulders. I looked down at him and smiled, "Ready?"

He nodded as his arms went around my neck, "Yeah, I'm ready, Jay."

Very slowly, I started to push in while I took his lips to mine again. There was
nothin' in this whole damn world that felt as good as bein' inside Edward Cullen.

He was so damn hot and tight around my cock…it felt like my whole body was just
bursting into flames.

He was right, we weren't normal…we were a hundred times better.

With long, slow strokes I moved in and out of him. Our bodies sliding against one
another underneath the blanket, quickly becoming sticky and sweaty as we burned
from the inside out.

It was a long slow ride…I took my time and focused on every shallow breath, every
bead of sweat sliding down his neck…the taste of him on my tongue and the feel of
his hard cock rubbing against my stomach, trapped between us.

I moaned into his mouth as his heels dug into the bed, allowing me to get even
deeper inside of him.

I made love to him until I felt like my arms would give out from underneath me at
any moment.

Just in the nick of time, he pushed me onto my back and rolled over on top of me.
His lips never left mine as moved slowly up and down my cock.

I ripped the blanket away cuz I was completely overheated. And he made love to
me for a very long time until I could see his arms straining to hold himself up.

So, I wrapped my arms around his waist and sat up on my knees. He gasped and
wrapped his arms around me as I started pushing up into him and he pushed down
onto me.

His head was thrown back and I reached down between us and took his swollen
cock into my hand. I swirled my thumb over the leaky slit and started working my
hand as I moved up into him.
- 916 -
 He was shaking and moaning and gasping.

I laid him back down on his back cuz I was on the verge of exploding but he shook
his head, "Wait…I want to try something…pull out a minute…"

I groaned cuz I was so fuckin' close but I did what he wanted and pulled out. He
took a deep breath and turned over, laying his head on his arms with his ass stuck
up in the air.

His eyes were squeezed shut so I leaned over him and whispered against his
shoulder while my cock twitched against his back, "Baby, there's no mirror in
here…you're not gonna be able to see me…"

He opened his eyes and smiled, "I don't need a mirror, Jay…I see you every time I
close my eyes."

I smiled back and leaned down to kiss his pretty lips once more before moving in
behind him. I positioned myself with one hand while the other went to his shoulder
and held him still. I whispered, "Tell me if you need to stop, Eddie."

He nodded and closed his eyes again.

Once again, I slowly started pushing the head in, releasing a feral grunt when it
broke through that tight ring of muscle.

My hand moved in between his shoulder blades to keep him still as I pushed
myself slowly all the way inside him.

Once I was in, I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead, "You
okay, baby?"

He moaned softly, "Yes…please, Jay…I need you…"

I gripped his shoulders and pulled out and pushed back in, in small short strokes,
not wanting to hurt him by just pounding into him.

After a few minutes, he grunted out, "More, Jay…harder…please, baby…"

I leaned up and clenched his hips as I pulled almost all the way out, then pushed
back in with one long hard motion.

He gasped and moaned, "Yes…just like that…do it again…"

- 917 -
 So, I repeated what I did but still held back cuz Lord knows I really wanted to
pound into that tight ass of his but I was too afraid of hurting him.

He started pushing back into me as he pleaded, "Please, Jay…harder…quit holding

back…I need you…"

I groaned, "I don't wanna hurt you…"

He moaned as his fingers clenched the blanket, "Hurt me, Jay…please,

baby…please…"

I pulled out and sat back as I shook my head, "No, Edward…why would you even
ask me…"

Was something wrong with him? Was this a psychological thing or some shit? I
could never hurt him…

He was up on his knees in front of me, grabbing my face and holding it as he

looked at me, "I'm okay, Jay…please, don't over think this. I just want you to stop
worrying about hurting me. I kind of like a little pain…I'm not talking about whips
and chains, Jay…I'm just talking about fucking. I'll tell you to stop if it hurts too
much. Just, please baby…"

He smiled and leaned down to brush his lips across mine as he whispered, "I'm
not as delicate as a girl, Jay…I'm not made of porcelain…I am unbreakable…so
please, baby…fuck me hard because you're the only boy who will ever get the
chance."

That made me smile so I pulled away and pulled him on top of me, "I'll make a
deal with ya, Eddie. I will fuck you so hard that I damn well might just break you,
but ya gotta be on top. I gotta look at you. I'm not sayin' I won't ever do it from the
back but just not tonight, okay?"

He smiled down at me and nodded, "Okay, Jay. Deal."

I reached behind me and stacked up the pillows behind my back so I could get
some really good leverage. Then I dug my heels into the mattress and smiled, "Giddy
the fuck up."

His breathing hitched and his cock twitched as he hurriedly reached for the lube.
My cock twitched against his ass as he reached back and got us both ready.

- 918 -
 Then he gently lowered himself and took a few deep breaths. He smiled, "I'm
ready."

I smirked, "You ain't ready yet, darlin'…grab hold of the headboard, you're gonna
need somethin' to hold onto…but grab the bars, don't grab the top cuz I don't want
you to get your fingers smashed when that mother fucker slams against the wall."

He groaned as his cock bounced lightly against his stomach while he leaned over
and did what I said.

His face was just inches from mine so I smiled, "You ready now, baby?"

He nodded, "I'm ready."

I grabbed his ass and clenched it with my fingers as I pulled him up while I pulled
my hips down…then when just the head of my cock was still in, I yanked him down
as I drove up.

The headboard smacked the wall and Edward's head fell back with a long groan,
"More…"

I dug my heels into the mattress again and gripped his ass so tight that I knew
there would be finger shaped bruises on his ass in the morning.

I steadily got a little rougher and a little harder each time, testing the waters
before I really let go. But my boy was right, he was un-fuckin-breakable.

I was fuckin' delirious with pleasure as our bodies came together with a loud
'smack' and two feral groans over and over again. Sweat was running down his neck
and onto his chest…my muscles ached as I used every bit of strength I had to fuck
this boy so god damn good that he could never even think of lookin' at another boy.

He was right about something else too…a little bit of pain is really fuckin'
awesome cuz our bodies were trying to go right through one another. The head
board slammed into the wall over and over.

Edward had given up on holding the head board and had just collapsed on top of
me, his face buried in my shoulder and his fingers clenching my back.

He was moaning and gasping as he peeled his chest from mine and sat up. He
wrapped his fingers around his engorged cock and started stroking like a mad man.

- 919 -
 I reached up and smacked his ass hard as he screamed out and came in long,
white spurts across my chest.

The sound of his scream and the feel of him coming undone, pushed me over the
edge and I soon followed with my own screams and came hard deep inside him.

He collapsed again as we both lay there panting and clinging onto one another.

I grab the sheet and pull it up to wipe us off. Then he just snuggles into my neck
and sighs, "Mmm…love you, Jay. Forever and ever."

I smile and pull him closer, "I love you too, Eddie. Forever and ever, babe. Sweet
dreams."

The next few weeks flew by and although I still avoided Tommy as much as I
could, he had apologized again and scheduled an appointment with a therapist when
we got back. I had a blast hangin' with the gang and hated leaving. This had been
the best summer of my whole fuckin' life and I feared what the fall would bring.

Eddie and I were untouchable. This summer had strengthened us beyond normal
measures. He was right, we were unbreakable. So, even as the butterflies in my
stomach threatened to break through, I just smiled and squeezed his hand as we
pulled up the Cullen's driveway.

Carlisle had told me that he had put together a case for me to seek emancipation
in the state of Texas. He had a few friends working on it and was hopeful that we
had a good shot. They were all planning on going to Texas with me and that thought
was comforting and terrifying all at the same time.

Cuz I wasn't exactly sure what was gonna happen when I saw my daddy…but I
knew that I wouldn't have to face him alone this time.

- 920 -
 Chapter 44

Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long without an update…

Hope you guys have enjoyed my new E/J stories Dazed and Confused: A
Love Story and Mythological Creatures too. Hell yeah, I'm pimping myself
out.

Oh and you guys have got to go check out my you tube…my girl
SweetMelodyxxx made a video for Lessons Learned. It's gorgeous so go to
my faves on my you tube and give her some love because I know she put a
hell of a lot of effort into it and it's beautiful! Here's the link too…

http: /www . youtube . com/watch?v=G2xas0W Ntl (take out the spaces.)

And I hope to see you tonight at The Roasters interview with me and all
my boys…it's at 9:30pm (EST) and 8:30 (CT). Here's the link and I'm really
looking forward to what you guys have to say…

http : /forum . fanfiction . net/forum/Roast_The_Author/82286/

It's also on my profile...

Song: Beautiful Love by The Afters

Eddie's POV

The closer to home we got, the more nervous I became. This had been the best of
the last four most wonderful summers of my life. In fact, I didn't really have summer
in my life before Jay. I never went outside, I never had any fun, I never felt the
sunlight…but he has brought the sun into my life, scorching and brilliant and all
encompassing.

Of course, we've had more than our fair share of darkness. So many times the
black storm clouds would try and outshine my light…but those storms always seem
to pass because they are no match for the strength of those rays.

Maybe I was being extremely silly but this summer made me feel like…good will
always win. Jasper was the best person I have ever known…he was breathtaking in
his strength, his beauty, his character…he had to win. Right?

- 921 -
 His hand slid over mine and I looked up to see his nervous smile. I gave one back
and tried to steel my nerves. We were growing up. It was time to face things head
on with confidence because I realized over this summer that being with Jasper
wasn't always going to be easy. We had so many obstacles in our way…but if we
could just stay rooted into the faith of what we had…we could overcome anything.

We had to because we were going to graduate high school together, go to college,

get married…we were going to have it all one day. I believed that. I had faith is us.

We pulled into the driveway and Jasper turned off the car. He squeezed my hand
and I looked up into his stormy eyes.

I smiled and leaned over, lacing my fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck
and bringing his plump pink lips to mine. I sighed content and whispered, "For we
walk by faith, not by sight."

He smiled against my lips and whispered back, "Bible verse?"

I chuckled a little and nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as
close as the console would allow.

He kissed me softly and put his forehead to mine as his baby blue eyes opened.

He smiled, "Will you tell me what it means?"

I smiled back, "Yeah, it just means that…"

I could feel my cheeks heating up as I looked down and whispered, "It means that
no matter what happens…we'll be okay. Nothing will keep us from being together
and being crazy in love with each other. Not time, or distance, or circumstance…if
you believe that too then we'll be okay."

He smiled as he lifted my chin up, "We're gonna be just fine, Eddie. Love conquers
all…and shit."

We both started laughing and I rolled my eyes as I pulled away, "Real smooth,
Jay."

He smirked and before I knew it, he was leaning over me in my seat, one hand
behind my back as the other slid into my hair…his hooded midnight eyes looked into
mine as he whispered in a deep southern drawl, "Don't you worry now, darlin'…I've
got skills."
- 922 -
 That was a freaking understatement.

My hands tangled in his hair as he leaned me back and I closed my eyes in

anticipation of his honey lips…but instead he stiffened and mumbled, "Um…Edward?
Your dad's standin' right outside your door."

My eyes snapped open and I looked up to be met by the shocked eyes of my

father. My whole body was on fire as Jay removed himself from me and I sat up,
straightening my shirt and taking a deep breath before I opened the door.

I got out as my dad stood there, looking a little dumbfounded. Moments later,
Jasper was by my side.

We were all quiet for a moment when suddenly my dad blew out a huff of air and
started scratching his head, "How about we just pretend that never happened?"

Jasper let out a breath and smiled, "That would be awesome."

Dad nodded and then opened his arms and smiled, "It's so good to see you, son."

I watched as they hugged each other and both struggled to keep their emotions in
check. I heard the front door crash and looked up to see my mom running down the
stairs with a wide smile lighting up her face.

Dad let go of Jay just in time for mom to throw herself into his arms as she sighed,
"I've missed you so much. Don't ever make me worry like that again."

He smiled against her shoulder and whispered, "I won't, mama. I'm sorry for
makin' you worry so much."

And then I heard the crash of the front door again and looked up to see Peter
standing on the front porch, smiling down at us as he steadied himself with his old
cane.

Mom let go of Jasper and he hurried up the steps and carefully pulled Peter into a
hug. I saw Peter's lips moving and Jasper nodding his head in agreement of
whatever he said. Peter clapped him on the back a few times and Jay pulled away,
nodding again and softly smiling.

Mom and dad now both pulled me into a hug and dad whispered in my ear, "I love
you so much son but never…never, take off like that again. I found a patch of gray
hairs, Edward…this is very serious."
- 923 -
 I chuckled and nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. I should've done things differently but
thank you for being so patient and understanding with me. I know I'm not easy to
deal with sometimes…"

He cut me off as he rolled his eyes and laughed, "Imagine that, a sixteen year old
boy being difficult to deal with…"

I laughed and he threw his arm around my shoulder as we started walking into the
house. After bringing in our bags, mom started doing our laundry as Peter plopped
down in the recliner and closed his eyes.

Dad pulled us aside and motioned to the kitchen. We followed along and he
stopped, leaning against the counter and sighing, "I'm afraid he's not doing too well.
He sleeps a lot, between the medications and the depression but I do want a
moment to speak with you boys."

Damn it…please, God please…don't let this be a sex talk…

I looked over at Jay and his expression matched mine. Dad walked over to the
kitchen table and pulled out a chair. We followed and sat down in front of him.

For the first time I looked at my dad and saw the results of the anxiety I placed on
him…his hair was sprinkled with bits of gray and silver, his eyes wore tired crinkles
in the corners…the guilt threatened to tear right through me.

But then he smiled, "Edward, stop worrying about me, I'm fine. I've been working
very late the last few nights. Both of you already know how I feel about your running
and your not calling me so I won't beat a dead horse. You're good boys and I know
that you're going to make mistakes, I just trust that you won't make the same ones
again."

We both nodded in agreement.

He sighed, "Now I know we've talked on the phone about our options but now that
you're here, it's time to make decisions. You know I've looked into emancipation and
you have a good shot at it but the lawyer I spoke with suggested that you should go
for living with Peter instead of us due to the nature of your relationship with our
son."

Jasper nodded, "That'd be fine with me. I think Peter probably needs someone to
look after him now anyway. I hate the thought of him bein' all alone in that house."

- 924 -
 Dad continued, "Okay then, well, we're going to go to Texas with you and try to
get your father's permission first. However, if he doesn't agree, then we'll go to
court. Now this means that you may have to get up on a stand, Jasper, and talk
about the…abuse."

I looked at Jay as he furrowed his brows. I knew how prideful he could be

sometimes.

"I don't know if I can do that, Carlisle."

I let out a breath, "Jay, you have to face up to this. It's just like Sarah…you have to
admit it and you have to know that it doesn't make you weak…"

He shook his head, "It's not that, Edward. I can admit he's an abusive
bastard…but…he's my dad. I know he's not a good one…but I haven't been very
good to him either. I just…"

He blew out a huff of air and ran his hand through his hair. Then he pinched the
bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, "Edward? Would you be mad at me if
I didn't wanna do it?"

I wanted to be angry at him…but I hated seeing him hurt so I grabbed his hand
and squeezed, "No, Jay. I'd never ask you to do something you didn't want to do.
Whatever you decide, we're in this together."

He looked up and smiled softly, "Thanks, Eddie. I'll do it. I don't know how I feel
about it but I know that I wanna be here with you more than anything. And…my
family's here. This is where I should be. It's worth fightin' for."

I smiled back and dad joined in, "I'm very proud of you, son. So, we'll leave in a
few days and I've taken a few weeks off of work. I thought we could go fishing
tomorrow. I think it would be good for Peter."

We agreed and soon we were all eating dinner together and we told them about
our trip, leaving out all the kinky details.

After dinner, mom and dad sat down and talked to him about what to do with the
money his grandma had left him. They agreed that mom and dad would put most of
it away, towards his college but that he had enough to get him a car and a few
things he would need if he did have to stay in Texas, although they were optimistic
about the outcome of the situation.

- 925 -
 That night, Jasper decided to stay the night with Peter. I knew he missed him a
lot. I think Peter reminded him of himself. I let him use my car and we would all
meet up in the morning to go fishing.

It felt surreal to put on my pajama pants and crawl into my bed…I felt
different…older…wiser…

I felt like the kid from The Wonder Years.

I giggled as I slid underneath the blankets because it felt really good to be home.
There was a knock on my door and I called out for them to come in.

My mom walked in with a smile and two glasses of Mississippi Mud, "I thought
you might like this."

I smiled, "Yeah, thanks, mom."

She set down the glass and I took a big drink. She sat down next to me and smiled
brightly, "So, how are things with you and Jasper?"

I blushed and looked down, "They're…fantastic. Jay's wonderful, but you know
that."

She nodded, "I do. How are things with you, sweetheart?"

I looked back up, "Um…I'm fine. Everything's good."

She nodded again and set her glass down on the nightstand as she turned to me,
"Edward? We're all very hopeful that Jasper will get to stay here in Forks but you do
know there's a chance that might not happen, right?"

I felt the lump in my throat as I nodded, "Yeah, mom, I know."

She sighed and grabbed my hand, "Promise me…promise me that if you ever…see
something or hear something…that if you're ever scared about anything at
all…promise that you'll come to me. Trust me, baby. I'm not perfect but I promise
you that I will always do my very best to be fair and understanding…I promise that
nothing will ever change how I feel about you. I love you so much and I've been so
worried about you. I can't lose you. My heart would not survive it."

Guilt reared it's ugly head again and I swallowed thickly and nodded, "I promise,
mom. Honestly, I'm scared about the possibility of Jasper leaving again but I promise
- 926 -
you that I won't fall apart again. I'll ask for help if I need it. I'm not going
anywhere…you won't lose me."

She smiled and pulled me into a hug. Then she pulled away and tousled my hair,
"My darling boy…I hoped you enjoyed your one free pass because if you ever take
off like that again, I will ground you for all of existence…got it?"

I smiled, "I've got it. I love you, mom."

She broke into a beautiful grin as I noticed the laugh lines that now laid in the
corners of her eyes. I had never realized how much laughter this house holds…

"I love you too, sweetheart."

My phone vibrated on the nightstand and I looked over and smiled, "It's Jay."

Mom smiled and stood up, "Good night, honey…don't stay up too late."

I grabbed my phone and nodded, "Okay, good night, mom."

She left the room and I hit the button, "Hey Jay."

"Hey Eddie…what'cha doin'?"

I snuggled back into my pillow and closed my eyes, "Lying in bed and thinking of
you."

I heard him mumble, "Fuck…"

Then he chuckled, "Would it be weird if I said I miss you?"

I smiled, "No…I miss you too…where's Peter?"

"He's watchin' Sanford and Son…I just came out on the porch to smoke."

"How are things going?"

He sighed, "I actually need to ask you for a favor…"

I furrowed my brows, "Anything, Jay…what is it?"

"Charlotte's flower garden is dyin'…I think I can save it but it's gonna take a lot of
- 927 -
work and I need to get it done fast…like tomorrow…cuz I just can't stand it…Peter
comes out here every mornin' to drink his coffee and look at Charlotte's garden…I
can let him watch that die too."

I could only imagine the pain that Peter was feeling at losing his Charlotte…

"Yeah, of course…um, we're supposed to go fishing in the morning so we can start

working on it when we get back…"

There was another knock on my door and I sighed, "Hang on a sec…"

I pulled the phone away and set it in next to me, "Come in."

My dad walked in with a weird look on his face and I raised an eyebrow.

He quickly shut the door and walked over with a CVS bag in his hand, "Look, son,
your mother is in the shower so I have to make this quick…she is content enough to
think that you're going to stay a virgin forever...I know better. So…um…as a doctor,
I thought I should…talk to you…ask if you have any questions…"

Oh. My. God.

I pressed my palm over the phone, praying to God that Jasper didn't hear this
conversation as I choked out, "Um…no, I'm good. Uh…thanks."

We were both scarlet as he handed me the bag, not looking into my eyes as he
mumbled, "Good…good…okay, here. Be safe…use condoms…and um…lubrication to
prevent tears…"

"Dad! I get it! Good God, stop!"

Now my dad smirked, still with red cheeks, "One more thing and I'll leave it
alone…"

I buried my head and mumbled, "Why not…"

He sat down next to me and laughed, "Look at me, Edward."

I groaned and raised my eyes.

He smiled, "Trust me…one day far into the future…you'll look back at this and
laugh. Now, I do not want you or Jasper to think that I am offering my approval for
- 928 -
you to be intimate…I just value both of your safety more than anything else. Jasper, I
can hear you laughing. Edward, put him on speaker…this is for both of you to hear."

I slowly lifted the phone up and heard him mumble, "Aw hell…"

I pressed the speakerphone button and dad smirked again, "Hello, son."

"Hey Carlisle."

"Boys, sex is a very serious thing. Although I wish you were waiting, I am not
naïve enough to think that you're not already intimate. That being said, I ask that
you be safe and respect each other…and don't think that you're going to be able to
stay in the same room any longer or have my permission to just have at it…you're
going to have to sneak around like every other hot blooded teenager…and just let
me leave you with this thought…if you have sex in my house, I will catch you and
just imagine how awkward that will be. Good talk, boys. Don't stay on the phone all
night."

He got up and walked out as I sat there, unable to form words.

Then I mumbled, "My dad's sex talks are going to give me erectile dysfunction."

Jasper started laughing and I couldn't help but grin.

"Holy fuck, dude…that was funny as shit…"

I rolled my eyes and we talked a little more before he went back inside to watch
TV with Peter.

I watched TV for a little while until I finally a got a text.

Love you…Sweet dreams, darlin…

I smiled and texted back.

Love you too…Good night, babe…

I fell asleep easily and woke up early the next morning. I was excited about seeing
Jay again and I wasn't disappointed as I watched him stumble down the front steps
of Peter's house, scratching his belly and yawning.

Ironically, Peter followed along behind him doing the same thing.
- 929 -
 I let my dad drive the Volvo so I scooted over in the back seat as Jay opened the
door and slid in, half asleep. I smiled brightly and handed him the cup of coffee I had
brought for him.

He smiled back as he took it and leaned over, pressing his strong lips to mine…

Mmm…honey and mint toothpaste…

Then he pulled away, wide eyed as he looked up to see my dad looking back at us.

He turned bright red as I felt my cheeks flush. Then he looked out the window and
mumbled, "Sorry."

Peter was laughing his deep hearty laugh as he sank into the front seat, "Hey
Carlisle…do ya remember the first time ya ever made out in a car?"

Jasper looked at me in confusion and I mirrored his expression.

"Ah, yes, I do, Peter…it was my sweet Esmeralda…we were at the drive in,
actually, in my old 65 Mustang that I bought solely to piss off my mother…we were
watching…hmm…I don't recall what we were watching."

They started laughing I groaned, "Really, dad? I don't need to hear about your and
mom's sordid affairs…"

Peter laughed, "Mine was in my old beat up truck…I was fifteen and her name was
Emmylou…or was it Wendy Sue? Hell, it don't matter cuz I figured out that
Charlotte was the one for me pretty soon after that…"

My dad smiled and Jay and I both looked at each other again, silently begging the
other one to make it stop.

"I've never made out in a truck…although there was this one time when Esme and
I were on the bus…and then that time in the taxi…"

I had enough as I stuck my head up between the two front seats and blurted out,
"Shiny, silver Volvo…these sits that you're sitting in…about a month and a half
ago…with Jasper."

Peter and dad both had the decency to turn a little red before dad mumbled, "Let's
listen to radio…"

- 930 -
 He flipped it on and I sat back in seat with a smile on my face. Jay looked over at
me and graced me with his beautiful dimpled grin, "Nice, Eddie."

I just blushed and looked out the window for the rest of the trip…although it was a
nice surprise to feel rough, calloused fingertips sliding over mine and taking my
hand in his while we rode.

Once we reached the lake, we had a blast fishing. Dad and I were kind of the
newbie's so Peter and Jay took us underneath their wing and by the afternoon, we
had caught a hell of a lot of fish…only to release them again since we didn't plan on
eating them.

And we all talked…like family. It was actually a lot of fun. Dad and Peter told us
stories from their childhoods and we talked about school and what we wanted to do
after school. We talked about everything and just enjoyed being in one another's
company.

It was good to see Peter so happy and talkative. I worried quite a bit about him
because the thought of ever losing Jay just made me…shut down…I couldn't even
think about it.

After the fishing trip, Jasper and I worked in Charlotte's garden. It was extremely
hard work, pulling all the weeds and stuff but it was definitely worth it in the end
because a few days later, the garden was beautiful again.

Jay had been staying with Peter since we got back and the only time I had felt
those wonderful fingers on my body was the few times that he would rub sun block
on my back and shoulders.

So, the night before we were leaving for Texas…I had begun experiencing serious
Jasper withdrawals.

Snuggled in my bed, I closed my eyes and whispered into the phone, "God, I miss
you…I miss your hands…I miss your lips…your beautiful cock…"

He groaned softly, "Fuck, Edward…when the hell are we gonna get together,
man…I'm goin' fuckin' crazy…"

I wasn't against pleading, "Come over…I'll let you in through the garage and we
can sneak up here to my room…"

He sighed, "As temptin' as that is, darlin'…if your dad caught us, it would fuckin'
- 931 -
suck."

I groaned and pushed my head into the pillow, "I want you, Jay…I need you…I'm
coming over…"

He laughed softly, "Yeah?"

I jumped up out of bed and starting pulling on my jeans, "Fuck yeah…I'll be there
in half an hour…is Peter asleep?"

"Yeah…he took his pills so he'll be out like a light all night. I'll be waitin' for you,
Eddie. Be careful, okay?"

I smiled, "I will. See you soon. I love you, Jay."

"Love you too, Eddie. See you soon."

I yanked on a t-shirt and slipped on my shoes. I pulled on a ball cap and then
rolled my eyes because it's not like that's going to disguise who I am, should my dad
catch me.

I crept slowly down the stairs and into the garage. Then I was worried that my dad
would hear the garage door or the start of the car, since I had to start parking it in
the garage for fear of my sneaking out again.

Ironic, I know.

But if there's one thing I've learned…horny teenage boys will do just about
anything to have sex…especially with someone they were completely in love with.

So, I groaned a little as I rode my stupid bicycle to Peter's house but the
humiliation of someone possibly seeing me was far outweighed by my need for some
of Pedro Cockriguez.

Of course, he was sitting on the porch steps smoking a cigarette when I pedaled
up. He immediately started laughing in all his blue jeaned, bare-footed and bare
chested glory. I huffed as I got off the bike and let it drop to the ground, "My balls
hurt."

He smiled as he giggled, "Aww…want me to kiss 'em all better?"

I nodded and dead-panned, "Yes, that sounds lovely."

- 932 -
 He started laughing again and I smiled, "I missed you."

He threw out his cigarette and grabbed my hand, "Well, come on, pretty boy…we
only got about five hours 'fore ya gotta go back home so we better get a move on…"

I could feel the butterflies fluttering around my stomach as we walked in the

house. I whispered, "Are you sure Peter won't wake up?"

He smiled that beautiful dimpled grin as he put his arms around my waist and
started pulling me to his room while he walked backwards, "I'm positive…his hearin'
aid is out…he's taken his medicine…he's out for at least eight hours…"

Once we reached the room he was staying in, he pulled me through and locked the
door behind us. And the sound of that 'click' brought me back to the hundreds of
times we had combusted into a frenzied heat of need at the sound of the door being
locked.

And in that single moment, everything else was forgotten as he desperately

crashed his lips to mine, his tongue swirling around mine as his hands clenched the
back of my t-shirt, willing me closer.

I moaned into his mouth and weaved my fingers into soft golden curls, never being
able to get enough of his taste on my tongue to satisfy me.

He pulled me away from the door and continued his slow work of making me
forget my own name. His hands began trailing leisurely over my hips and up my
sides as they brought the fabric of my t-shirt up with them.

His rough fingertips teased my overheated skin as every cell in my body drew
toward him in an overwhelming rush of desire…

And then I was dragging him to bed in a frenzied rush to feel his skin on mine. He
gasped into my mouth as I pushed him down onto the bed, attaching myself to
smooth lips and falling right on top of him.

He ripped my shirt over my head and I took to his neck and jaw while his head
pushed back into the mattress, eyes closing and beautiful moans falling from perfect
pink lips.

My body was on fire and I was thankful for the cool breeze that blew in from the
open window. My fingers quickly found their way to his zipper as I pulled it open.
One of his hands tore open my jeans while his other pushed into the back of my
- 933 -
jeans and into my boxer briefs.

His fingers dug into my ass as he squeezed really hard, yanking me into him. Now
my head fell back with a soft moan and then his lips were on mine again…rough and
bruising with their desperation for more of me.

And my lips mimicked his as I pushed my straining cock against his through our
open jeans and boxer briefs.

I pushed him up further onto the bed while our jeans slid down our legs further
and our hands did their best to help them along.

But our bodies were pressed against each other so close that it was hard to get
them off.

His hands found their way to the back of my underwear, pushing it down over my
ass and gripping me roughly again.

My jeans around my knees made it difficult to maneuver but I managed to push

his boxer briefs down low onto his hips so that I finally freed his gorgeous cock.

And I lost any semblance of control as his searing cock slid against mine, sending
an explosion of fire through my body as I growled, "Get those God damn
cock-blocking jeans off…"

His lidded eyes gazed into mine as he nodded and began tearing the jeans and
underwear down his legs.

I rolled over onto my back and did the same thing because I needed skin on
skin…and I needed every single inch of it but doubted that would even satisfy my
thirst for him.

The moment the offending clothes landed with a soft thump to the floor, we were
together again.

We laid on our sides with our legs intertwined and our arms wrapped tightly
around each other while our fingers explored every trace of skin they could find.

Our thick cocks rubbed shamelessly against each other while we swallowed the
soft moans and grunts of our wanton actions.

He pushed me onto my back as his mouth found the sensitive skin at the crook of
- 934 -
my neck. He began working his way down my body, kissing and licking and sucking
on my overheated flesh.

He swirled his metal stud around my nipples and I gasped as he bit down gently
and started running the stud across the sensitive nub.

He then moved down my stomach and my hips, biting and running that stud along
all the creases in my skin.

His shallow breaths tickled the tip of my cock as he blew softly on the swollen
head before taking me into his hot mouth.

I groaned and lifted my head so I could look at my cock, now glistening with the
wetness of his mouth as it slipped between his plump lips.

I was straining to keep myself from thrusting up into his mouth, eager for more as
he wielded his exquisite torture upon my body.

He pulled away with a smile as he reached over into his bag, pulling out the dildo
and a bottle of lube, "I wanna try somethin', Eddie…you up for a little kink tonight?"

I smiled back, breathlessly agreeing, "Um...yeah…"

I watched as he squeezed some lube onto his fingers before settling between my
legs and taking my throbbing cock back into his scorching mouth. The tip of his
finger began circling my entrance before slowly pushing in.

I was lost in a haze of ecstasy as his fingers and mouth worked together to draw
out whimpers and moans and gasps as my body ached for release but I wasn't ready
to give into the pleasure quite yet.

I whimpered again as his fingers slipped out and he sat up on his heels. I started
to protest but I saw him pick up the dildo and begin coating it with the slick lube.

His eyes seared into mine as he brought it between my legs and whispered, "Open
up for me, baby boy…"

I spread my legs, giving him complete access to anything he desired. The tip of
the dildo pressed against my hole and I groaned as it slid into me, stretching and
burning almost as hot as the desire I had within me.

He sat there and just watched me as he pumped the dildo in and out of me, slowly
- 935 -
working up to a faster pace. My hand reached for my cock and he slapped it out of
the way as he lifted up on his knees and straddled my chest, never ceasing his
motion of fucking me with the thick fake cock while his free hand laid on my hip.

He smiled down at me as his leaking cock stood only a few inches from my face. I
twisted and bent my body up off the mattress to be rewarded with the sticky tip on
my tongue and honey on my lips.

His head fell back and he moaned into the nighttime air, "Get me ready for you,
darlin'…I wanna ride you while I fuck you…"

From his words alone, my eyes shut and I groaned but quickly grabbed the lube
and coated my fingers.

I took the head of his cock between my lips as my finger slipped inside his waiting
hole. He rocked back and forth, taking my fingers deeper inside of him and then
pushing his cock down my throat.

A few minutes later, he slipped from my mouth and moved down to my cock as it
pulsed anxiously against his beautiful ass.

He leaned back on his free hand while his other one still worked the dildo in and
out of me, stroking my magic spot with every thrust.

I reached down and took my cock into my hand, positioning it at his hole. I felt
him push down past the tip and my head fell into the mattress and my eyes squeezed
shut at the overwhelming pleasure of fucking and being fucked all at the same time.

He groaned, "If ya…wanna stop…just tell… me…"

My eyes opened as a delirious smile spread across my face and I grunted, "I'm not
that…fucking crazy…don't stop, Jay…don't fuckin stop…"

He slowly sank down on my aching cock until it was fully seated inside of him. The
tightness and heat from his body encompassing my own was making me lose all
control as I wrapped my hand around his swollen cock.

I pushed up into him and back onto the dildo, experiencing amazing shots of
pleasure with every small movement. Watching him on top of me, sliding up and
down on my cock with hooded eyes and a hungry look adorning his sinfully beautiful
face, I was over come and pleaded with him, "Oh God…you've got to…cum, baby…I
can't hold on…much longer…"
- 936 -
 He moaned as my hand slid up and down his cock, swirling my fingers over the tip
and coating him in his own sticky honey. A few strokes later and he was calling out
my name as his cock erupted, shooting lovely streams of his cum all over my chest
and neck.

The dildo slipped out of me in his powerful orgasm and I took the opportunity to
take him exactly as I wanted him.

I grabbed his hips and pushed him onto his back as I rolled us over, burying
myself deep inside of his tight heat.

He was making unintelligible sounds as our slick, sweat soaked bodies crashed
into each other over and over again.

I took his lips to mine and our chests only became that much more slick as my
cum covered stomach slid against his.

I gripped his curls tight between my fingers and his legs wrapped around my hips,
locking his feet above my ass and drawing me deeper into him.

I flew over the edge as I exploded inside of him before collapsing, out of air and
stuck together with sweat and cum.

He ran his fingers through my hair as we both took a few minutes to gather our
breath. I closed my eyes and started to drift off when I was awoken with a soft kiss
and a lazy southern drawl, "Wake up, baby boy…ya gotta get back 'fore your dad
catches you."

I groaned as I pulled myself away and looked into his pretty blue eyes, "I love you,
Jay."

He smiled, "I love you too, Eddie."

Reluctantly, I pulled myself from his warmth and managed to wipe off some of the
stickiness before getting redressed.

He pulled up his jeans and walked me outside. I was pulled into a strong hug and I
could feel his smiling lips on my neck, "Be careful ridin' home, baby…call me as soon
as you get there, okay?"

I nodded and yawned, "Okay, Jay…I can't wait until we can wake up together
again…this sucks…leaving you…"
- 937 -
 He smiled softly as he pulled away, "We'll be alright, Eddie. Now get goin'
darlin…we'll be lucky to get more than a couple hours sleep before we're up and on
the road."

I nodded and turned, picking up the stupid bicycle as he chuckled behind me and
lit a cigarette.

"It's not funny, Jay." I grumbled as I lifted my leg over and glared at him.

He broke into a breathtaking dimpled grin, "Yeah it is, Eddie…love you, baby…be
careful."

I couldn't help but smile back, "Love you too, babe…good night."

I rode away to him laughing and I wanted to be annoyed but I was still completely
drunk from the ecstasy of our last few hours together…good thing I did take the
bicycle because I was pretty sure I could totally get a DUI from being intoxicated
from the sweetest of honey.

I rolled my eyes at my apparent giddiness as I made the long trip home but I
supposed I could just sleep in the car tomorrow on the way to Texas.

My stomach churned again with the thought of what possibilities lie in our future.
But I was certain that no matter what happened, we'd have our happy ending.

- 938 -
 Chapter 45

Hey guys, I wanna let you all know how much I appreciate all the love this
story has gotten. We're starting to wind down, probably the last four or five
chapters. But I wanted to let you know that I'm planning a sequel as well.
Hope you had a happy holiday and enjoy the story!

Fade by Staind

Jay's POV

My stomach churned as I saw Carlisle's SUV and Em's Jeep pull down the long dirt
drive. We were leaving for Texas today and although I knew it was necessary…I
really didn't wanna go.

I worried about Peter. If I ended up back in Texas, he'd be here all by himself. His
health really hadn't been all that good these last few days and I think he needed
someone to help take care of him.

If I did have to stay in Texas, I needed to make sure that Carlisle had some sort of
plan for Peter.

I groggily stumbled down the porch steps and was met by a super hyper pixie. She
threw her arms around me and squeezed, "This is all going to work out, Jazzy. I just
have this feeling…"

I smiled, "I hope you're right, Ali. I need this to work out."

She pulled away and looked up at me, "It will, Jazz…one way or the other, things
are going to be okay."

I nodded and was grateful for her reassurance.

Then Rose and Em walked up, hand in hand, "You ready for this, bro?"

I let out a breath, "As ready as I'll ever be."

Rose smiled and I couldn't help but smile back because she is really fuckin'
beautiful when she smiles…which isn't all that often.

- 939 -
 But I kinda dug that about her…the boys back home had no idea what was comin'
down to Texas with me.

Alice was kind of an old soul and a free spirit…but she was also kind of fearless…I
really loved that about her.

And Em…he was my bro. He was unlike anyone I had ever met…most big guys I
had known like him were bullies…but Em was a softy…unless you fucked with him
then he'd fuckin' lay your ass out. He was fuckin' awesome.

I hoped that I'd get to be here when they graduated next year.

We quickly packed the SUV with my and Peter's shit before I crawled in the
backseat, next to my boyfriend who was fast asleep and snoring pretty fuckin' loud.

I laughed and leaned over to his ear, "Good mornin', Eddie."

He grinned and mumbled with a sleepy rough voice that went straight to my cock,
"Mmm…hey baby…"

And then he wrapped his arms around my neck and snuggled into my chest, never
opening his eyes.

I felt a little awkward as Esme crawled in next to me, Peter was sitting in the front
with Carlisle.

She smiled a little nervously as her eyes flickered to Edward, "My, my…he looks
very…comfy…"

I could feel my cheeks burning and I started nudging him, trying to get him to
move over to his side.

But instead, his head fell into my lap and he tightened his grip around my waist. I
groaned in embarrassment, frustration, and…well, because Edward's head was in
my lap.

This trip's startin' out fuckin' great…

Esme shot up out of her seat and yanked Edward off my lap, before she scooted
me over and took her place right between us.

Edward woke up now with a confused look and Esme let out a breath and smiled,
- 940 -
"Much better…my beautiful, sweet boys…"

And then she put her arms around the both of us and kind of forced our heads on
her shoulder.

It seemed that mama C was havin' a little bit of a freak out about her baby boy…

Edward looked over at me in his mama bear headlock and mouthed, 'What the
fuck?'

I just laughed softly and mouthed, 'I love you…"

And then I closed my eyes and…well, I snuggled into her and went to sleep.

We stopped and ate a few times before finally pulling off to a hotel. Peter roomed
with Carlisle and Esme, Rose and Em got a room, and then me, Edward, and Alice
shared a room.

I think it made Esme feel better to have Alice in the room cuz she didn't think
we'd do it…she was wrong cuz not only was there the shower but I also talked Eddie
into a little freaky time after Ali fell asleep…at least, I think she was sleepin'.

The trip was long but it was a lot of fun being with everyone again. I felt liked I
belonged and I reveled in the fact that these people…these really good people, took
me in as one of theirs.

I had always wanted a family and I finally had one.

But there were drawbacks…I had to watch my mouth like a fuckin' hawk and I
couldn't smoke around Esme…she woulda definitely went all mama bear on my ass.

It was worth it though. And when we finally started headin' into Mission…I found
myself taking deep breaths to keep from freakin' the fuck out.

But I felt myself slowly slipping back into that tough Texas boy I needed to be. I've
been through a hell of a lot of shit in my life and I'll be fuckin' damned if my daddy
fuckin' broke me.

I didn't know what to expect but I knew daddy was probably preparin' for fuckin'
war or some shit cuz he knew they were bringin' me back.

I could feel my skin beginning to crawl as I thought about Esme and Carlisle
- 941 -
and…everybody else actually comin' face to face with my dad. The man was a fuckin'
embarrassment and I didn't want them to see where I came from.

I started thinkin' that this was a really bad idea as we turned down the street to
my dad's house…but it was too late cuz we pulled to the curb in front of the house
and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I felt his soft fingers glide over mine and I opened my eyes and looked over at him.
I focused on his eyes, dark green and jade swirls…completely lulling me into a false
sense of security. The beautiful crooked grin solidifying my resolve that this was
gonna work.

I smiled back and squeezed his hand reassuring him that I was alright…even if I
was lyin' my fuckin' ass off.

Esme placed her hand over ours and smiled sweetly, "No matter what
happens…you will be okay. We can get through anything together, darling. You will
never have to face anything alone again."

She gave me a quick hug before I finally took one more deep breath and stepped
outta the car.

I looked up at the porch and saw my dad sittin' there with Jeremiah.

I was glad that his deployment date got pushed back and I would get see him
before he left.

My dad stood and looked at me for a moment before turning and walking into the
house. Jeremiah came bouncin' down the steps and over to us. Em and Rose were
standing next to me, holding hands. Edward was one my other side and Alice was
next to him. Peter, Esme, and Carlisle stood behind me.

I smiled as Jeremiah grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, "Hey Cuz! Ya got your
own little posse, huh? That's pimp shit!"

We separated and I laughed, "You're a silly mother fu…"

I heard Esme gasp behind me, "Are you about to use the 'F' word, sweetheart?"

I could feel my face burn as Jeremiah and everyone else chuckled a little, "Sorry,
mama…"

- 942 -
 Then Jeremiah turned to Eddie and stuck out his hand, "Hey there, pretty boy…"

Now Eddie blushed and took his hand, "Hey Jeremiah."

Then he turned to Alice and my jaw dropped as he broke into a big dimpled grin,
took her hand and drawled out, "Well, my, my, my…you gotta boyfriend, darlin'?"

Alice fuckin' blushes and shakes her head as she giggles.

He smirks and brings her hand to his lips as he gives her knuckles a kiss and says,
"Ya do now, sugar…I'm Jeremiah."

She giggled again but looked up at him with her own smirk and a gleam in her
eye, "I'm not really looking for a boyfriend, Jeremiah."

He chuckled a little and leaned down to her ear as he whispered, "Tough shit,
baby girl…I'm yours…"

I rolled my eyes and huffed to get his attention away from tryin' to Mack on one of
my best friends, "Cuz? How's your chick doin' with the baby and all?"

He looked over at me and smirked, "She's doin' alright…we broke up awhile back.
She dumped my ass as soon as I told her I was joinin' the military. Truth is, I ain't
wild bout that girl raisin' my baby…"

Now I felt a little bad, "Oh…sorry, Cuz."

He smiled and shrugged, "Sometimes it don't matter how much you love someone
cuz they just can't love you back. It sucks but ya gotta move on…my only concern
right now is my baby that girl's carryin'…"

Then he turned and winked at Alice, "Don't you think for one second that I'm done
with you yet, pretty girl…we'll talk more later."

She fuckin' blushed again and Jeremiah went about introducing himself to
everyone.

He held out his hand for Rose and she took it as he just grinned, "Nice to meet
you, Rosalie. That's an awfully big boyfriend ya got there, darlin', so I'm gonna step
away now."

She laughed a little and he held his hand out to Em, "Sup? So, my little Cuzzy here
- 943 -
tells me that you play on the startin' D-line back in Washington…I was a left
defensive tackle…"

Em broke into a grin, "No shit! You watching the Texas U game this Saturday?"

Jeremiah nodded, "Yup, ya'll oughta come over and chill with me 'fore I leave…we
can have us a game…"

They talked for a minute about football before he finally introduced himself to
Peter, Esme, and Carlisle.

It was kinda cool seein' my cousin getting along well with everyone…but it was my
dad I was worried about.

"Hey Jeremiah? What's goin' on with daddy? He won't even talk to me now?"

Jeremiah turned and smiled, "Naw, man…he just needs a minute…maybe we

should go in and talk to him…"

I looked up at the house and sighed, "Yeah, maybe…"

I stepped away and turned back to everyone, "Um…just give me a minute, okay?"

Carlisle spoke, "Son, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with you being alone with him
until I know how he's reacting…"

Jeremiah put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry, sir…I'll be with him and
Uncle Wayne's pretty calm right now. Besides, if he tries and lays a hand on my little
Cuz…we're gonna stomp a mud hole in his ass. He already knows…I warned him."

I smiled cuz it was kinda nice that Jeremiah had taken up for me against my dad,
"It'll be okay, Carlisle. I won't be long."

He hesitantly agreed and I found myself slowly walkin' in the front door behind
Jeremiah.

My dad was sittin' at the kitchen table and when he looked up at me…something
was different.

He stood and I couldn't move. He walked over and stopped in front of me, my eyes
never left his and I watched him warily.

- 944 -
 He spoke calmly, "You shouldn't have left without tellin' me where you were
goin'…"

I tried to keep myself calm cuz just being near him kinda made my blood boil,
"You never cared where I was before…"

His eyes tightened and I could hear his pitch beginning to raise as he fought off
the urge to scream, "Your mama always told me where you were…I knew…I just…"

I rolled my eyes as the anger started bubbling to the surface, "You just didn't give
a fuck, huh, dad? You don't give a fuck about nobody but you…"

He gritted his teeth and I felt like I was teasing a rabid dog that would soon turn,
"That's bullshit, Jasper! I loved you and your mama! My life was just fucked up! You
don't know the shit I've been through!"

That pissed me the fuck off and I just blew, "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? I don't
fuckin' know you at all! Did'ja ever stop to think about my life? You were too fuckin'
wrapped up in your own god damn sob story to see that I fuckin' needed you! I
needed someone! I had nobody! All my fuckin' life I've been treated like your and
mama's god damn mistake and I'm fuckin' done with this shit!"

Jeremiah stepped between us and held his arms out, "Whoa now, boys…ya'll both
need to calm the hell down. Uncle Wayne, ya know I respect ya but I'm gonna need
to take a step back 'fore shit gets a little too wild…Jay, take a breath, man…calm
this shit down…"

Dad took a step back and closed his eyes, trying to calm down so I did the same.
After a minute, dad spoke again, "Son, you can't go runnin' off like that…I need to
know where you're at."

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, "You're right, dad…I'm movin' back to
Washington. My friend, Peter, needs me right now…"

His eyes narrowed and he growled, "I don't wanna hear about your little faggot
boyfriend!"

I needed to get the fuck outta here now or shit wasn't gonna end pretty.

I just looked him in the eye and kept my voice calm, "You really sit here and
wonder why mama didn't come back to you? You think by callin' me names that it
means you're more of a man than me? You're a god damn drunk…a pathetic fuckin'
- 945 -
prick who wasn't even man enough to keep your family together…"

And then the wind was knocked outta me as he came barreling at me and I
crashed through the screen door and onto the porch. My back ached and my head
was pounding, all his weight was on me, crushing my ribs and I tried to get my
bearings as I looked around.

I saw Em, Edward, and Carlisle closing in and I did not want them involved in this
shit.

Jeremiah was on him next and it distracted my dad enough that I was able use
every bit of strength I had and shove that fucker off of me. He stumbled backwards
off the porch, landing on his back…that was all I needed for once in my fuckin' life to
finally get the upper hand on him.

And then I was fuckin' lost.

I faintly remember people pulling at me and screaming but I couldn't stop myself
from just hitting him over and over…he fought back and I'd find myself pinned
beneath him again…only to fight my way back on top and commence to whoopin' his
mother fuckin' ass, cuz he wasn't beatin' me today…

Everything else around me faded away into a sea of red as I just gave in and let
my anger have it's dirty way with me.

It wasn't until I was being thrown face first into the hood of a car and the familiar
feel of steel around my wrists that the whole picture started coming back to me.

My body ached with each rugged breath as I looked up into the faces of the people
that loved me…red and blue lights showcased the whole god damn thing.

Carlisle was talkin' to a cop while my dad was face down on the other police car.
Edward had his arms around his mom who looked like her heart had been
completely shattered. Em held Rosalie as she gazed off with a distant look in her
eyes. Jeremiah was sitting on the porch as Alice held a bag of ice to his eye.

I fucked up…

I squeezed my eyes shut and wished that I could kick my own ass. The fucker got
to me…and now who knows what the hell is gonna happen.

I berated myself for being such a fuckin' asshole as the pigs threw me in the
- 946 -
backseat and took off.

I couldn't even look Edward in the eyes this time…I had royally fucked everything
up.

How long would they even stick around if I couldn't man the fuck up and control
my fuckin' temper?

I barely remember them beginning to process me as I got lost in all those thoughts
of what I should have done.

Hindsight's a mother fuckin' bitch.

And then life had to go and be all fuckin' ironic and sadistic again as I was being
shoved into a holding cell where my father sat.

He was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall as he stared out the
window. I groaned, "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?"

The guard laughed, "Nope…I think it would do you two boys some good to be
stuck together…"

I couldn't believe this asshole.

"What the fuck? What the hell are you even charging us with? You can't just
fuckin' lock me in here with the mother fucker who's ass I was beatin' when you
cock suckers pulled up!"

That got a reaction and he slammed me against the wall and hissed, "Look here,
boy…your daddy and me have been friends since we was babies. So you gotta make
a fuckin' choice…stay here till mornin' and if you two have cooled off, I'll release you
with no charges filed…or keep bein' a little asshole and we will pick up assault
charges on both of ya…"

I rasped out, "Is that even legal?"

And I was being slammed against the wall again. It worked this time cuz I was
fuckin' done…I was exhausted.

"I'm tryin' to cut you a break, boy, outta respect for your daddy…he's tryin' to
clean his shit up cuz you up and run away…he's been sober for three weeks now and
he's been dealin' with a lot of demons so maybe you can cut him a little slack even if
- 947 -
he don't deserve it…"

The wind getting knocked outta me was probably a good thing cuz I just nodded.

I was getting a second fuckin' chance at getting outta this shit…I just had to get
along with my dad till mornin'.

I had to control my temper…I had to be the bigger man…

This was gonna be a fuckin' nightmare.

I sighed as the cell door shut. My dad never looked over so I just went to the
stupid cot and laid down. I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes, trying
to get lost in my happy place…which was basically anywhere with Edward.

But I felt nauseous when I thought of him or anybody else cuz I knew that they
were all probably worried half to death…and I knew they were really disappointed in
me.

I was disappointed in me.

I gotta stop letting people draw these kinda reactions outta me…I gotta learn to
control my emotions, especially my anger.

Peter's words were runnin' through my head…

"Anger…rage…hate…those things will consume you from the inside out if you let
'em. You gotta let it go, son. Just let it all go."

Unfortunately that was much easier said then done.

I don't have any idea how long I laid there but the sound of his voice caused me to
turn my head because it sounds different…defeated.

"I met your mama when she was just fourteen. My buddy, Dave, was datin' her
best friend, Bobbi Sue and they set us up. I had seen your mama at school but I
never really noticed her before cuz she was a couple years younger than me. I was
mad as hell when I went to Bobbi Sue's to pick 'em up. But I'll never forget her
walkin' outta that house in the tightest pair of jeans I had ever seen…"

He started laughing and I sat up, thoroughly confused, "What the hell are you
talkin' about?"
- 948 -
 He still wasn't looking at me as he smiled and I almost wondered if he was losing
his ever lovin' mind.

"You were right, son. You don't know me and I don't know you. So, by the time
your mama jumped in the front seat next to me…I was seein' her really for the first
time. At school she never really dressed up or anything…it's like she tried to blend
in but when she went out with me, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid
eyes on. I fell hard. I was so in love with that girl…we both had rough home lives
and we just took to each other…kindred souls and all that shit."

That made me chuckle a little in spite of myself.

"Her mama and daddy were…evil. Mine were just real strict. My hair was too long
and daddy hated my music…I was in a band, lead guitarist. It pissed them off cuz
daddy always wanted me to join the military but I was content enough to work in a
factory and play down at the local bar on Friday nights with your mama by my side.
But then I just lost it one night on her daddy and nearly beat him half to death."

He looked over at me now and I could see his worn and battered face…he looked
much older than he was but for the first time I saw a glimpse of someone younger
inside.

His cold blue almost matched the gray walls behind him, "I never meant for things
to get as out of hand as they did…I went over there with the intention of beatin' the
hell outta him but once I started…I couldn't stop. He done unspeakable things and in
that moment, I believed I was justified in takin' his life. All it takes is one moment,
son, to change your life forever. In one moment, I lost everything cuz I couldn't
control myself. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout…you had that same lost look in your
eye today when you were whoopin' my ass…"

And then he laughed. He was definitely losing his mind.

I was still wary, "Why are you tellin' me this?"

He grimaced and looked out the window again…he appeared to be in pain.

"Your mama was pregnant with you when it happened and my daddy pulled a deal
with the judge to not file any charges against me if I joined the Marines. That
bastard got his fuckin' wish. Me and your mama got married right before ya was
born…I'll never forget that day. You came out just a'screamin' your head off with
this mop of blonde curls and big blue eyes…you sure were a cute little thing."

- 949 -
 I felt like I was in some fuckin' alternate reality…Matrix type shit…fallin' down the
fuckin' rabbit hole…

Damn Edward and the geeky movies he forces me to watch…

"I left for the Marines a couple days later, leavin' you and your mama behind. The
only thing that kept me goin' was knowin' that I was gonna come back in a few years
and have my family. That was all I ever really wanted…you and your mama. She
went through hell while I was gone and I swore that I was gonna help her as soon as
I got back and put our family together."

He sighed and looked back over at me, "I put your mama in rehab and she swore
that she was gonna get better and come back to us. I got a little apartment and took
you home with me, figurin' that we could get everything ready for when she came
home. It was hard…you were barely four years old and you didn't know me. I had
been dreamin' of this picture perfect family waitin' on me but everything was all
messed up. The military had been good for me in some ways cuz it taught me to
control my emotions but without that structure I was used to and the strain of tryin'
to put us back together again…it was too much. You stayed with me in that little
apartment for three months. Your mama ran off from rehab two weeks after she
started and I kept holdin' onto that promise that she was comin' back. I was head
over heels for the woman and I couldn't imagine that she didn't feel the same way."

For some reason, I felt incredibly calm because besides the fact that we had lived
together for a few months, I knew most of this. However, I was not prepared for him
to let out a strangled sob and bury his heads in his knees…

I was at a loss and I was gonna have to deal with this shit by myself this time. No
Edward…no Doc…just me.

Fuck.

My heart was racing like I had just seen a ghost cuz this wasn't my father…this
broken, pitiful man wasn't the hard assed bastard that I knew. I almost felt sorry for
him.

Almost.

"You said we lived together for three months…why'd you give me back to granny
and re-enlist if you wanted me? You just didn't want me if mama wasn't included…"

He sobbed quietly and never looked up, "I didn't know what to do…didn't know
- 950 -
how to raise ya by myself…I was scared I was gonna fuck it all up. I was broken,
son…your mama left me in pieces…"

I was kinda stunned speechless.

He sniffled a few times and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, "I had to leave…I was
goin' insane waitin' on her to come back. So, I re-enlisted and left you with your
granny. You seemed happier."

And I couldn't help but ask, "We lived together for three months…do you have any
good memories of me?"

He chuckled and looked out the window again, "I have a million, son…I bought
you this little wooden guitar from a yard sale…you and me would sit on the front
porch, listenin' to Hank Williams and singin' for hours…you made me paint your
bedroom this horrible bright green cuz you said you missed the woods by your
granny's house and that was your favorite color…and we'd always sit out on the
porch every time it rained."

He looked over at me and smiled…it was still a little creepy.

"You were a good kid…funny, smart…but there were also times when you would
cry for your granny and tell me you hated me…I should've realized that you were a
confused little kid who had his whole world ripped out from underneath of him. But
to be honest with you, son…it was just too much for me to take. I figured you were
better off without me. When I went back to the military, I got lost in my job. It's easy
when someone's giving you orders…when there's rules and procedures to
follow…when I didn't have nobody guidin' me, I was left with my thoughts and I was
at war with myself…with who I was and who I wanted to be…"

He looked down at his hands, "I didn't wanna be this…every day I would think,
'I'm gonna get clean…I'm gonna fix this'…and every day I just…wouldn't. And before
I noticed, you grew up without me and it was too late to fix anything. When I found
out that your mama came back for you…I was jealous and hurt. I'm a selfish bastard
but I resented that she wouldn't come back to me. And without something to focus
on when I left the military, shit just got too fucked up and I started drinkin'. I was
havin' all these nightmares about shit I had seen over in Iraq…"

I never knew he was in Iraq and I found myself kinda interested.

"What kinda shit did you see, dad?"

- 951 -
 He looked up at me a little surprised, "I don't think…it's not somethin' I ever really
talked about before…"

I sat down on the ground across from him with my back against the bunk on the
other side of the cell, "Maybe you should."

He looked out the window again as the moonlight flooded in. And he began telling
me horrible things he had witnessed.

I found myself completely fascinated by this side of him. I had never seen it before
but Jeremiah had been tellin' me that it existed…I woulda called him a damn liar but
I didn't forget that he was also an abusive asshole. It just made him a little more of a
complex, abusive asshole.

But as least I was finally startin' to understand him a little, even if he was all
fucked up. And I realized that there was a reason behind the way people act and
react…everybody had a fuckin' story.

After all the shit he told me, I was startin' to wonder if maybe there was more to it
than him just being a sadistic fuck.

"Hey dad? You said that you ain't ever really talked about this stuff before…have
you ever heard of post traumatic stress syndrome?"

He shook his head and looked at me, again surprised, "What's that?"

I remembered back to all that research I had done, "It's an anxiety disorder that
sometimes develops after exposure to an event that results in psychological trauma."

Now he looked at me like I had two heads, "Huh? I have no idea what the hell you
just said."

I smiled as I thought about feelin' that exact same way when I first read it.

"It just means that sometimes if you've dealt with some really fucked up shit…it
can cause you to do shit you wouldn't normally do…it can cause a lot of nightmares
or you might even see or hear somethin' that ain't really there…you can become
violent…certain things can trigger it and alcohol abuse can intensify it. Let me ask
you somethin', dad…before you re-enlisted, did you ever hit me?"

I was really curious now because I felt like maybe I stumbled on somethin' useful.
Not sayin' that ptsd would excuse my dad for his behavior…but at least it helped me
- 952 -
understand and possibly be able to help.

Because even if the asshole had put me through hell for as long as I could
remember…there were things that I didn't remember that gave me a slight bit of
hope that maybe he was worth tryin' to save.

I mean, he did marry my mama and claim me as his own before he knew I really
was.

He looked out the window again and shook his head, "No…I'd get mad but I could
control myself…I'd step outside for a smoke or somethin' while I calmed down. But
when I came back and both of you were gone off together, I felt betrayed. I know I
didn't have no right feelin' that way but I couldn't stop it. And then every time you
came around…I'd see so much of myself when I was you're age and it pissed me off
cuz I stayed outta your life and you still act just like
me…bullheaded…arrogant…defiant little son of a bitch…"

I kept my anger down because I knew that he was right, I was like him in a lot of
ways…but I was a hell of a lot different too.

Stronger.

Braver.

I smiled, "You're right, dad…but you don't really know me either."

He smiled back, "I reckon I don't…how'd you learn so much about that syndrome
thing? That doctor teach you?"

Might as well get all the shit out on the table.

"No…I learned about it myself cuz Edward suffers from it."

He looked away again and sat there for a minute before I heard him ask, "What
happened to him?"

I closed my eyes and wondered what he was doin' right now.

"I can't tell, it's not my story. Let's just say that his shit makes your shit look tame
and that's pretty fucked up."

He grimaced and nodded as he looked back over to me, "Are you sure, son? Have
- 953 -
you been with any girls yet? Have ya even tried?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "Yeah, dad, I've fucked a lot of girls…but you can't
help who you fall in love with."

He looked down and just stayed quiet for a little while before he finally mumbled,
"I know that…I saw you fallin' apart when you two broke up…not that I knew it was
a boy. But you fell apart just the same. God, it hurt to watch you cuz it was like
walkin' around with a fuckin' mirror in my face all the damn time…I'm a fucked up
man, I'll be the first to admit that shit…but I do not want you to end up like me. I'm
fuckin' miserable."

It was strange to see him so broken down and wide open…and strangely, I wanted
to make him feel better…give him a little hope.

"But you started rehab, right? The guard said that you've been sober for three
weeks. You're a fuckin' Marine, dad…semper fi, do or die…you can totally do this
shit."

He laughed a little, "Yeah, maybe…"

Then he was quiet again and I sat there for awhile before I spoke up, "I wanna
move back to Washington. Peter is the old man whose farm I used to work on. He
and his wife, Charlotte, kinda took me in a lot before mama left. He's a really good
guy. He lost his only son, Nathan, in the war and Charlotte passed a few weeks ago.
His health ain't that good and he needs someone to look after him…"

He looked over now and laughed softly, "You've always done that, ya
know…you've always looked after shit…I remember when you were four years old,
you found this old turtle in the road with a crack in his shell, you brought him back
home and put about a million GI Joe band aides on him…you spent the evening
watchin,' 'All Dogs Go To Heaven' with him and when you went to bed, I told ya I'd
look after him. Of course, the next mornin' I told ya that you had taken such good
care of him that he must've wandered off back to his home before you woke up."

I laughed, "Did I believe you?"

He smiled, "You never questioned me about it but you asked me if I thought that
turtles went to Heaven. I told you that I did and you said you did too because
animals had souls and people who didn't believe that, just weren't lookin' hard
enough."

- 954 -
 He still needed to answer me, "Dad? I wanna go back to Washington."

He sighed, "Son, the reason I gave up drinkin' was cuz you left and I wanted a
chance to make things right. I'm sorry. I don't want you to go."

I took a deep breath and kept my cool, "I understand that, dad, but this isn't about
you. This is about what's best for me. You say you don't want me to be like you, well,
here's your chance to prove it. Mama knew it…that's why she left me with the
Cullen's. Because as fucked up as you and mama are, you're my parents and you
both want what's best for me, even if you ain't what's best. I think distance would be
good if you actually wanna try and fix this. I can forgive a lot of shit, dad, but to be
honest, it's gonna take a lot of time and effort."

He looked over at me, "Family's important, son."

I nodded, "You're right, it is. And I promise that I'll keep in contact with you…I can
even come down and visit on my breaks and shit. You can come visit me. I fuckin'
need this, daddy…please."

He sat there again, quiet.

I waited and hoped that this shit would work cuz I really didn't want things to get
ugly again. I was tired of fightin'.

Eventually he sighed, "I wanna talk to them…get to know them a little bit. I can't
just let ya run off with people I don't know nothin' about. I wanna sit down and talk
with the adults…I know it's stupid considering…I'm sorry, son…I'm really sorry…"

I shook my head, "That's not stupid, it's called being a concerned parent…it's a
good thing."

I felt like the weight of the world was bein' lifted off my shoulders because there
was no way he could talk with Carlisle, Esme, and Peter and not believe that
Washington was the best place for me.

I stood up and laid back down on that stupid cot.

He looked out the window and was quiet again. I was just about asleep when I
heard him mumble, "You never did tell me about your life…"

I looked over and sleepily mumbled back, "You really wanna know?"

- 955 -
 He nodded, "Yeah…your mama wrote me a letter…told me all the shit she
did…how she left you alone…screamed at you all the time…how she had fucked up
too. She said you went and visited her…that you was gonna give her a chance to fix
shit…that's good, Jasper. You're a better man than me cuz I don't know if I'd give us
another chance if I were you. I wanna know who you are, son."

I was a little confused still about this turn around and sighed, "Dad? I gotta
know…what happened that caused all this shit cuz, honestly, you made a fag remark
and tackled me to the fuckin' ground just hours ago…"

He nodded again and looked out the window, "Yeah…I gotta work on mindin' the
stupid shit I say when I'm mad…it's no excuse but…anyway, after we talked on the
phone the last time, your Aunt Barb, Jeremiah, and Suzie all came over and told me
what an asshole I was bein'…that you were a good kid and if I didn't change shit
then you'd never have nothin' to do with the family as soon as you was able to.
That's not what I want. You're my only son."

Life is such a freaky bitch sometimes.

I sat up and sighed, wishin' I had a cigarette, "Alright…"

I told him everything I could remember about all the crap mama had put me
through, about meeting Edward and his parents, Peter and Charlotte…about my
friends and about James…I told him everything, even shit he probably didn't wanna
know…like how I started fallin' for Edward and what Sarah did…he said he wanted
to know me, then I wasn't gonna hold back shit.

I don't remember fallin' asleep but the sound of the metal door unlocking, woke
me up. The guard walked in, "Am I gonna have any more problems with you two?"

I shook my head and rasped out, "No, sir."

My dad shook his head, "No, Dave…we're good."

Dave smiled, "Good. Now you two get your sorry asses outta here and don't come
back. Wayne, I'll call you later and check in with ya, man."

Dad nodded and we both stood and stretched before walking out of the cell. A few
minutes later, we walked out and there was everyone, waitin' on me.

Em rushed my dad and I jumped in between them, "Calm down, dude…"

- 956 -
 He huffed and backed away. And then Edward turned around and I saw one of his
pretty green eyes, surrounded by puffy purple bruises.

Whoever hit him, was a dead fuckin' man.

He smiled and I grabbed his arms as I tilted his chin so I could see the bruise
better. "Who did this, Eddie?"

He frowned now and looked down at the ground, "It doesn't really matter, Jay…it
looks worse than it is."

I shook my head, "Tell me."

He sighed and looked up at me, "You didn't mean to…but when the fight broke
out, we all ran to you but I'm the fastest so I got there first…"

I felt all the wind leave my chest as I rasped out, "I hit you?"

He nodded slowly, "Yes, but you didn't mean to. I don't think you even realized
you did it…"

My dad was right, I was like him and if I didn't change that shit and learn to
control my emotions…I was gonna end up hurtin' the people I loved more than
anything. And he still took up for me.

I pulled him close and buried my nose in his neck, not caring about being in the
middle of a police station with my dad standin' right next to me, "I'm sorry,
Edward…I'm so fuckin' sorry…I swear it'll never happen again."

He held me and whispered into my neck, "I love you, Jay. Everything's going to be
alright."

We all walked outside and then Carlisle, Esme, and Peter stood in front of my dad,
"Mr. Whitlock, I'm Carlisle Cullen. Your son has become a part of my family and I
will not leave him here in an abusive home for one more second. We are going to
fight for his emancipation so that he can come back home to Washington, where he
belongs."

And then Esme reached up and smacked the shit out of my dad as she growled, "If
you ever…ever, lay a hand on him again, I will make the Texas State Penitentiary
seem like fucking Disneyland!"

- 957 -
 Jeremiah laughed and winked at Carlisle, "Got yourself a tiger there, Doc."

Carlisle smiled and laughed.

My dad held up his hands as his eyes went wide, "Okay! Down, woman…shit…"

I stepped over, "Me and my dad talked about a lot of stuff and he wants to talk to
you, Carlisle, and Peter alone."

Carlisle nodded, "Of course, son. Where shall we go?"

I smiled, "I'm starvin'…can we go grab somethin' to eat?"

He nodded, "Yeah, we can do that."

My dad spoke up now, "There's this diner 'round the corner, they have good food
and it's pretty quiet."

Jeremiah put his hand on my dad's shoulder, "Cool, I'll ride with Uncle Wayne and
we'll meet ya'll there."

I crawled in the back seat of Carlisle's SUV and Edward grabbed my hand,
bringin' my head down on his shoulder as he pulled his fingers through the curls,
"Your dad agreed for you to come back home? What happened?"

I smiled up at him, "I have no idea but I kinda feel like I witnessed a miracle."

He smiled back at me, "Buddha said, 'I am the miracle.' I don't think you
witnessed a miracle, Jay…I think you are the miracle."

I sighed, "I don't know about that, babe…"

He pulled my chin up to his and his green eyes sparkled, "You'll always be my
angel, Jay, but that doesn't mean that you're not other people's angel too."

I smiled and whispered, "Thanks, Eddie."

He smiled back, "Anytime, Jay."

I was nervous when we all started piling into the empty diner but I was hopeful
too that maybe my dad could change. Maybe I could have some kind of relationship
with him. Cuz if anyone could help someone come over to the good side, it was my
- 958 -
little posse.

- 959 -
 Chapter 46

Um, hey…remember me? Yeah, so, I'm really sorry about the long delay.
My computer crashed right after Christmas and I lost all of my writing, even
the original story I was working on so I was pretty bummed. I stayed in a
funk for a few days and then started writing again. Don't you worry, my
darlings, I will never abandon this story. These boys are dear to me.

But I did learn an important lesson in backing up my shit so hey…silver

lining and all…

Anyway, thanks for all the love and sorry to make ya'll worry so much.
Hope you enjoy this chapter. Remember, the play list is on my you tube.

The Lengths by The Black Keys and Good Ol' Boys by Lil Wyte (This is the
song playing in Jeremiah's truck)

Eddie's POV

I was preparing for the worst and praying for the best. That was something my
mother use to always say when I was waiting on my father to come home.

Although my prayers were rarely answered back then…I seemed to be on a pretty

lucky streak. I know, considering all of the trials we've experienced these last few
years that it may not seem that way, but in the grand scheme of things, I was the
luckiest guy I knew.

I had more love than I thought my heart could ever hold. I had parents who chose
me. I had Peter, who looked over me like a grandpa would do. I had all of my friends
with their different personalities and strengths. I had Jay.

And as I looked around the diner at all of them, I decided that maybe everyone
had an angel meant especially for them…Peter had Charlotte…Mom has
Dad…Rosalie has Emmett…and from the way Jeremiah was smiling at Alice and
making her blush and giggle, I wouldn't completely dismiss the notion of something
going on there.

I was surrounded by an army of angels.

Lovely…

- 960 -
 "Edward?"

I was brought to by his hand squeezing my knee gently under the table.

I looked up and smiled, "Yeah?"

His baby blue eyes looked almost gray today and I could see the dark circles
underneath them. He looked exhausted…I suppose a night in jail could do that.

"You okay? You were spacin' off…"

I shrugged and possibly blushed a little, "Oh, um…I'm fine. Are you okay?"

His smile lit up his face and he nodded towards his dad, who was sitting on the
other side of the diner with the grown ups. A waitress was pouring his coffee and he
smiled up at her…he had dimples.

Jasper laughed, "I think my dad's havin' a mental breakdown…"

I smiled, "Maybe he's having a breakthrough…"

Jasper leaned on his elbows on the table and smiled softly, "How do you do that?"

I looked at him in question, "Um…do what?"

His blue gray eyes searched mine, "You always try and think the best of
people…even when they don't give you any reason too…"

He was looking at me like I was some sort of angelic creature and I couldn't stop
the fire from rushing to my cheeks as I started playing with the straw in my orange
juice, "Um…that's not really true…I didn't like Bella for a really long time…and,
um…I still think Newton sucks…"

He leaned across the table and whispered, "That fuckin' blush is killin' me,
Edward…"

Oh that's nice…I'm blushing even harder now…thanks, Jay…

I looked down at the table and played with a napkin because my heart was already
racing and I feared I wouldn't be able to stop myself from leaning over the table and
claiming what was mine.

- 961 -
 But then I heard a loud smack and I lifted my eyes to see Jasper rubbing a red
cheek and growling out, "What the fuck was that for?"

Jeremiah laughed, "You got anger control problems, Cuz…a good hard smack
every now and then might do ya some good…"

Then he nudged me, "Bet you could help him out with that, huh, pretty boy?"

I could feel my cheeks go up in flames as I looked down at the table. But then I
saw Jeremiah dodge a biscuit flying by his head and heard Jay laugh, "Quit
embarrassing my boyfriend, fucker."

Then I looked up when I heard my mom's voice from across the restaurant,
"Jasper, is that how we behave in a restaurant, dear? Go pick up the biscuit."

Jay smiled as he stood, "Sorry, Esme."

Jeremiah snickered and I heard my mom again, "Jeremiah, I was speaking to you
too, darling. You boys act your age."

Jeremiah had the decency to blush a little and duck his head, "Yes, ma'am."

Jay threw the biscuit away and sat back down as the waitress brought our food.
Everyone ate their breakfast and chatted a bit but I kept an eye on our parents.
Mom and dad seemed calm as Wayne spoke and Peter stared out the window.

I worried about Peter.

Wayne wasn't like I imagined. He was very tall, like Jay, but his arms were huge
and he had a bit of a beer belly. He looked very strong yesterday but Jay did get the
best of him.

I really hoped he would let Jay come home.

I felt him nudge my foot underneath the table so I looked over to his pale blue
eyes. I noticed that he winced slightly and I prayed that my eye would heal soon
because I knew that he felt bad about it.

I smiled and whispered, "I'm fine, Jay."

He narrowed his eyes and looked down at his plate, pushing the food around with
his fork.
- 962 -
 Jeremiah stood up and said, "Hey Cuz, I'm goin' out for a smoke…wanna come?"

Jay nodded and stood. I sighed and looked down, silently wishing that he would
talk to me.

"Hey Eddie, you comin'?"

I look up with a huge grin, "Sure, Jay."

We tell my parents that we're stepping out for fresh air and once we're outside,
we step off to the side of the building.

Jeremiah pulls out a cigarette and passes one to Jay. Then he offers me one but I
just shake my head and politely say no thank you.

They both light their cigarettes and I tell Jay that I'll keep an eye out for mom so
he doesn't get busted smoking.

After a couple drags, Jay finally speaks, "You're right, Cuz. I do have problems
controllin' myself sometimes. I'm gonna talk to the Doc about it and see what I can
do to fix it."

Jeremiah nods, "You do that, Cuz. I'd hate to see you throw your whole life away
like your daddy. You're too smart for that, Jay. If there's one person in this family
that can change things, it's you. Don't fuck it up."

Jay nodded and his eyes flashed to mine briefly before looking away again.

I resisted the urge to slide my fingertips across his cheek and into his honey curls.
Instead I whispered, "Look at me."

He let out a deep breath and lifted his pretty blue eyes to mine.

I smiled softly, "I'm okay, Jay. You didn't mean to hit me…it's really not a big
deal…"

He narrowed his eyes and huffed, "Quit lettin' me off so damn easy, Edward. It is a
big deal. There is never an excuse for me to hurt you…I don't care if I'm drinkin' or
mad as hell or what…it's never okay. I mean, fuck, Edward…what if that was Alice?
Or Esme? What if Peter would've gotten to me first? I can't keep makin' excuses for
the stupid shit I do…I'm better than that. You deserve better than that."

- 963 -
 I furrowed my brows and looked down at the broken sidewalk beneath our feet. I
sighed and raised my eyes to his. With a small smile, I spoke softly, "I wasn't
excusing what you did, Jasper…I was just forgiving you for it. And I know I let you
off easy sometimes but I feel like your life has been hard enough without me adding
unnecessary worry. You're not an abusive or mean person…you messed up, yeah,
but we all mess up sometimes. It's only a black eye, Jay, and I'm certain that you will
do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn't happen again. You're kind of amazing
like that."

I grinned crookedly at him as I was rewarded with a breathtaking dimpled smile,

"And you're really fuckin' beautiful, Eddie…"

Jeremiah started laughing, "Holy shit…ya'll are cute as hell…"

I broke my eyes from Jay's and looked down at the ground while a faint blush
came to my cheeks.

Just then, the restaurant door opened and my dad came out, walking over to us
with a small smile.

Jasper furrowed his brows as he took a drag and slowly exhaled, "You alright,
Carlisle?"

My dad nodded and looked around a moment before raising his eyes to meet ours,
"Yes, son, I'm fine. I just wanted to…um…"

He looked a little flustered as he drug his hand through his blonde hair, "I just
wanted to talk to you boys a minute about something…"

Jeremiah started to flip his cigarette out, "I'll let ya'll alone…"

My dad shook his head and put his hand on Jeremiah's shoulder, "That's okay, son,
you don't have to leave."

Jeremiah nodded and leaned against the building next to Jay.

"First, I just want to let you boys know how proud I am of you. You're so strong
and fearless…unlike most boys your age, hell, unlike most adults I know…but I do
worry about your…lack of discretion…"

I furrowed my brows and dad held up his hand, "Wait, son, let me finish."

- 964 -
 I nodded and looked down.

"I know that you love each other very much and physical contact comes naturally
between you two, however, I would like to ask that while in certain public situations,
you utilize caution. Not everyone is understanding of what you share and I fear that
your openness will lead to unwanted attention from…well, from the assholes who
don't understand what real love is all about. I am, in no way, trying to push you back
into the closet but I just worry for your safety. I know it's not fair, but as you saw at
the carnival you boys visited earlier this summer, some people will try and hurt
you…"

I crossed my arms over my chest and furrowed my brows, "But, dad, we handled
that okay…"

He nodded, "You did, son, but what would have happened if you didn't? What if
something would've happened to you and I was all the way back in Washington,
unable to get to you? It's a horrible fact that people have been beaten half to death
and even killed before in similar situations. You boys were lucky. I don't like it but
the truth is that you are more susceptible to the wrath of people's ignorance than
most couples. Because of this, I just ask that you be cautious of your
surroundings…especially here…"

Jeremiah cleared his throat and looked over at me with a smile, "Don't you worry,
pretty boy…I'll make sure you have some alone time with your boy, okay? But you're
daddy's right…it's like a whole different world down here and if Jay ends up stayin',
the assholes 'round here don't need anymore ammunition against him."

It wasn't that big of a deal that we behaved like friends in public…I mean, after
all, we were best friends.

I nodded, "Okay, dad."

Jasper smiled, "We'll cool it, Carlisle…so how's it goin' in there?"

Dad chuckled and took a deep breath before a tired smile pulled at the corner of
his lips, "Well, Esme is currently showing your father your report cards and the
letters she had some of your teachers write on your behalf. I swear, that woman
would make an excellent lawyer."

Then he sighed and looked over at Jeremiah, "Can I get a cigarette, son?"

My mouth dropped open as Jay smiled and Jeremiah handed him a cigarette and
- 965 -
lighter.

"Dad? You don't smoke."

I reminded him because I can remember him going on and on about the effects of
tobacco on our bodies.

He slowly exhaled with a sigh, "You're right, I don't. Now watch the door for your
mother…"

I started to protest, "But dad…"

He smirked, "Son, I smoke once or twice a month, nothing more. As foolish as it

sounds, it does help to ease the tension. You must understand that your mother is
never to know of this…I would never hear the end of it. Besides, it would be a shame
if I let it slip that you snuck out and spent the night with Jasper your last night at
home."

My mouth dropped again as my eyes went wide.

How the hell did he know about that?

As if reading my mind, he laughed, "There were wet tracks from the bicycle tires
in the garage when I went down to clean out the car. You must've just made it home.
I didn't tell your mother because I remember what it's like to be 16. I figured the
uncomfortable ride home on the tiny bicycle seat was punishment enough. By the
way, I really don't like you sneaking out. It's very dangerous. You will always tell me
before you leave the house because should I wake up again and not know where you
are…I swear I will have Charlie place you on house arrest. Now watch the door."

I grimaced, "Sorry, dad."

He smiled, "Forgiven, son."

I turned to watch the door while they chatted a little bit about Jeremiah's
impending leave. He talked a lot about how he worries about his baby but he just
didn't know what else he could do. He couldn't find a good job and only had his
GED. He didn't see any other options.

I respected Jeremiah. He was a genuinely good person who seemed totally brave
and fearless…I supposed that maybe those traits ran deep in the Whitlock blood.

- 966 -
 I briefly wondered how deep the Masen blood ran in me but shook away the
thoughts as we all walked back inside.

My mother was smiling so I took that as a good sign.

She called Jasper over and I sighed as I turned to go back to our table, wishing
that I had super sonic hearing so I would know what's going on.

But I wasn't some super cool mythological creature…I was just an ordinary human
being. Well, maybe not completely ordinary but still…

"Hey Eddie, you comin'?"

I raised my eyes up to see his face looking at me with a bit of confusion. I nodded,
"Um, yeah."

When I reached him, he whispered, "Hey, babe, have you taken your medicine
today?"

I thought about that a moment before I sighed and shook my head, "No, I forgot."

He nudged my shoulder and smiled, "It's not a big deal, you can take it after we
leave."

I looked over at him and took a breath, "It is a big deal, Jay. I need to remember to
take my medicine because it will only make me worse if I take it sporadically."

I pulled out my phone and set my reminder alarm again, "When my alarm went off
this morning, I was half asleep and thought for a moment you were calling. It made
me mad so I turned it off and went back to sleep. I won't turn it off again."

He sighed, "I'm sorry for makin' you worry about me…"

I shrugged, "It's okay, Jay…"

He smirked, "You really do let me off too easy, Eddie."

I just smiled, "I'm kind of a low maintenance guy…um, apart from the whole
'crazy' thing."

He laughed and rolled his eyes before nudging my shoulder and whispering, "I
think you're the sanest person I know."
- 967 -
 I chuckled and rolled my eyes, "Sadly, that may be true, in your case."

We both laughed, the mood significantly lightened and my mission accomplished. I

hated for Jay to be nervous because I could feel it radiating off of him in waves.
Jasper was a very passionate, very strong person who could easily influence the
moods of those around him.

We pulled out chairs and sat down. I couldn't stop the way my stomach churned as
the anxiety started trickling in.

But I forced a smile anyway.

After all, Jay did teach me how to act like everything's okay.

Wayne cleared his throat and stared at his cup of coffee, "Son, I don't want you to
go but I do want what's best for you. I know that it probably ain't a good idea for us
to live under the same roof…we know how to push each other's buttons a little too
good. If you wanted to stay, Peter offered to stay with you for awhile and get an
apartment…"

My mouth dropped open. I wasn't expecting that.

Neither was Jay. He looked over at Peter with confusion, "Peter? I couldn't ask you
to leave your home for me…"

Peter smiled softly and looked out the window, "It's only an option, son. Truth
is…it might do me some good to…get some space…distance…everything I
see…everything I smell and touch…I feel her everywhere. I can't…think of anything
else…but I gotta try…gotta see you boys graduate and go off to college. I promised
Charlotte I'd make it till you were grown. I intend on keepin' my promise."

Wayne sighed and played with the spoon in his coffee, "So, like Peter said, Texas
is an option. But I figured that you damn near raised yourself and you done a pretty
good job so maybe I oughta back off and let you do what you think's best. I'd really
like for you to stay, son…but the choice is yours. If you wanna go back to
Washington, I won't try and stop you."

I couldn't believe it…Jay was coming home.

He was in shock as he just looked at his dad in disbelief. I nudged his knee to get
his attention and he turned his baby blues to me and smiled widely, "Holy shit, I'm
comin' home."
- 968 -
 I laughed and resisted the urge to kiss those smooth pink lips of his, being
cautious of my surroundings and all.

But I did squeeze his thigh under the table which earned me a sly smirk and a
whispered, "Later."

Wayne smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, "I better get goin' on home
now…Carlisle here says that ya'll will stay a few days…till Jeremiah leaves on
Tuesday. Your Aunt Barb is havin' a barbecue tonight and wanted all of ya to
come…meet the family. Hope to see ya there."

He got up and walked away. Jeremiah ran outside and caught up with him. They
were talking as Jay went over and told everyone the good news. Alice shrieked and
practically jumped on him. Rose even gave him a quick hug and Emmett was already
talking about their football team this year.

Peter was staring off out the window again and mom and dad were looking into
each other's eyes and smiling, not saying a word…but not really needing to.

Jeremiah eventually walked back in, wearing a smile that also did not quite reach
his eyes. He walked up and pulled Jay into a one arm hug/back pat thing and said,
"Goin' back to Washington, huh? Good for you, Cuz."

Jay sensed something, I could tell by the way he whispered, "What's up, Cuz?"

Jeremiah just shook his head and broke into a dimpled grin, "Nothin', man, 'cept
I'm dog-ass tired and mama's preparin' a barbecue which means she's gonna put my
ass to work the second I walk in the door…"

Jay laughed and my mom and dad walked up.

"Well, we're going back to the hotel for a bit, maybe take a nap, it was a long
night."

My dad spoke with a yawn and he really did look worn out. Jay smiled, "A shower
and sleep sounds so good right now."

Esme smiled, "Jeremiah, dear, would you like to come back with us for awhile?
You know there's plenty of room for you to take a nap. You were up all night too."

Jeremiah grinned, "Thanks, mama bear…I think I'll take ya up on that."

- 969 -
 My parents walked on ahead of us and I noticed the smirk in the corner of his
mouth as he looked down at Alice.

She was blushing a bit but looking up at him with a beautiful smile.

They spent a lot of time together last night, talking. Jeremiah had stayed all night
with us at the hotel. We all camped out in one of the rooms and hung out. Mom, dad,
and Peter went to sleep eventually but the rest of us stayed up.

Jeremiah was fiercely loyal to his family because that was all he ever had. He
didn't know who his father was and his half-sister, Suzie's, father left when he was
three. The only people that had been there for him were his mom and his Uncle
Wayne.

Apparently, Wayne had helped him out of some trouble he got in a few years ago
when their other cousin went to prison for stealing cars. He had been trying to walk
the straight and narrow ever since that scare.

It was hard on him but when Jasper came back, he said it gave him someone to
look after so that helped keep him busy and focused. He had tried with Suzie but she
was getting so out of hand, he didn't know how to reach her. But Jasper had been
doing well so it gave him hope that he could do well too.

Jasper was more important to people's lives than he ever realized.

Once we reached the hotel; mom, dad, and Peter went back to their room, Rosalie
and Emmett went to their room, and that left me, Jay, Alice, and Jeremiah in the last
room.

There were two queen sized beds in the room.

Jeremiah kicked off his shoes and fell into one of the beds. Then he patted the spot
next to him and smiled at Alice, "C'mon, baby girl, I don't bite…I just nibble..."

She laughed as she crawled up next to him. They were on top of the blanket, fully
clothed but when she laid her head on the pillow and he wrapped his arms around
her, it seemed very intimate.

I heard him whisper, "Is this okay?"

She smiled and nodded.

- 970 -
 Jay just shook his head, "I'm gonna go take a shower, babe."

I nodded and crawled into the other bed, after kicking off my shoes. I quickly took
my medicine and then laid my head down. I was out before Jasper even came to bed.

I woke up, some time later with Jay's strong arms wrapped around me and his
hard length pressed against my ass…his breath on my ear and soft curls against my
cheek.

I opened my eyes to see Alice and Jeremiah still asleep and cuddled up. I smiled
and snuggled back into Jay's chest for a minute before looking at the clock and
figuring we had better get up.

I turned my head and whispered, "Jay? Wake up, baby…"

He groaned and shook his head. Then his rough voice barely broke through,
"Don't wanna…five more minutes, baby boy…"

He tightened his arms around me and I couldn't help but give in as I closed my
eyes again.

I was awoken the next time by a knock on the door and my dad's voice, "Boys, it's
time to wake up."

I jumped from bed and stumbled to the door, realizing that Jeremiah and Alice
were already gone.

I pulled open the door and yawned as I nodded, "Okay, we're up. Where's Alice
and Jeremiah?"

"Emmett gave Jeremiah a ride home about an hour ago. I believe the girls are
getting ready for the barbecue. You boys need to get ready, we'll be leaving in about
half an hour."

I nodded again and he walked away as I shut the door.

I crawled on top of my sleeping angel and buried my nose in his honey curls,
breathing him in before I whispered, "Wake up, love."

He groaned as his hands slid up my thighs to my ass and squeezing it as he rocked

his hips up into mine, "Wanna fuck?"

- 971 -
 My cock most definitely wanted to fuck…but we were leaving in half an hour and I
had to get ready…I mean, I was meeting a lot of his family for the first time.

I wanted to make a good impression.

I raised my head and kissed the tip of his nose, "Sorry, Jay, but we're leaving in
half an hour. We need to get ready."

I started to raise up when he pulled me back down. His fingers wove into my hair
and pulled my lips to his. I wanted to protest but then his tongue was in my mouth
and his soft moan resonated through my body.

He rolled us over, our bodies tangled in the sheets and him in-between my legs,
pressing me into the mattress…

I held onto him like an anchor…and he was.

He was my anchor to the real world…and such an incredible lover that I didn't
need to live in a fantasy world.

Reality was much, much better.

I felt his chest heaving against mine as we kissed each other breathless. He
eventually broke away and nipped at my bottom lip, "You give me 15 minutes, pretty
boy…I can give you that freshly fucked look a helluva lot better than any fuckin'
gel."

I smiled and he looked up at me with a dimpled grin, "Wanna fuck now?"

I laughed and nodded, "Yeah, we have to hurry though."

He sat up on his knees and smiled, "Down and dirty, it is."

And then he was pulling me up on my knees to face him, tearing my shirt over my
head before attacking my lips.

I moaned into his mouth as I reached for the bottom of his shirt, breaking the kiss
briefly to yank it over his head and toss it somewhere.

Eager hands were pushing and pulling, as clothes went flying with reckless
abandon.

- 972 -
 Our naked bodies were pressed together as he leaned back onto the bed, reaching
for the lube in the nightstand drawer.

He kissed my lips softly and whispered, "Now, do ya wanna fuck or do you wanna
be fucked?"

I moaned against his lips, grabbing the lube and squeezing a little in my hand
before reaching down and stroking his long, hard cock.

"Fuck me, Jay," I whispered breathlessly.

I loved fucking Jasper but in all honesty, I think I loved him fucking me more. I
loved the way he took control of my body, so powerful and strong but gentle and
caring.

I trusted him with my body more than I trusted myself.

He moaned and bit his lip as he fucked my slick hand while his now wet finger
began pushing into my hole.

The stretch and burn of his fingers inside of me had me rocking into him, eager
for more. I opened my eyes to see his burning into mine, half lidded and dark. He
whispered breathlessly, "Ya ready, baby?"

I nodded and he eased out his fingers while I let go of his gorgeous hard cock.

Within moments, my knees were hooked over his arms as he started pushing into
me slowly but steadily until I gasped and he was fully seated.

He stilled for a moment until I finally opened my eyes and moaned, "Fuck me,
baby…hard and fast…"

He clenched my thighs between his fingers as his held me tight and just started
drilling me.

I was being fucked senseless as my eyes squeezed shut and my mouth hung open,
unable to formulate anything past grunts.

The force of his body hitting mine sent shock waves through my body. Each slap of
my ass against his thighs and his very long dick filling me completely, hitting my
sweet spot over and over was quickly bringing me to the edge.

- 973 -
 My hand was wrapped around my cock but I couldn't focus enough to stroke it.

And then he let go of my legs and pressed me into the mattress, taking my lips as I
wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed up to somehow draw him even
deeper.

He growled into the kiss as his fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me harder to
meet his every thrust.

I could feel every muscle in his stomach contracting and sliding against mine,
trapping my cock between them. My hands slid around to his ass, clenching it
between my fingers, urging him to fuck me harder…if such a thing were possible.

He broke from the kiss with a low moan as his head fell on my shoulder. He
whispered, "I love fuckin' your ass, Edward…you're so god damn tight…you feel so
fuckin' good around my dick…I'm gonna cum so mother fuckin hard inside you,
baby…"

I could feel the fire burning in the pit of my stomach and my toes begin to curl.

I loved when he talked dirty.

I was so close…

"Don't you dare fuckin' come…I'm gonna cum first inside your ass…then I'm gonna
suck you off…"

I bit my lip and squeezed his ass tight as he bit my shoulder. His thrusts became
erratic as he moaned and shuddered as he came deep inside of me.

I gasped when he withdrew and quickly slid down my body, taking my throbbing
cock down his throat, swallowing around it as his tongue slid all around.

Within seconds my hands were tangled in his dampened honey curls, holding his
head as my body finally gave in and I erupted down his warm, wet throat.

We laid there a minute and I started to drift off when Jay chuckled, "Come on,
babe…we got about ten minutes to get ready."

I jumped up, "Shit!"

He laughed as he walked in the bathroom behind me and we both proceeded to

- 974 -
take, what he called a "whore bath." We washed our private areas and stuff and then
brushed our teeth. He smiled as I pulled on my shirt, "Your hair really does look
good."

I laughed as I looked in the mirror, "You're right…you're much better than hair
gel."

We made our way down the stairs and out into the parking lot. Everyone was
there, including Wayne and Jeremiah who had both driven.

Wayne was talking to my mom and dad as Jasper and I walked up.

Mom smiled up at Jay, "Your dad offered to drive us over to your Aunt's house."

Wayne shrugged and smiled a little, "I'm the designated driver…"

Jasper smiled, "That's good, dad, but you know how much liquor Aunt Barb
has…are you gonna be okay?"

Wayne scratched at the whiskers on his chin and sighed, "It ain't gonna be easy
but nothin' ever really is…I'll be alright, son. Semper fi and all that shit."

Jeremiah walked over with his trademark grin that always made his eyes crinkle in
the corners as the sparkled with mischief.

"Eddie, Jay, ya'll are ridin' with me. Alice, Rose, and Em are gonna follow us."

Mom, dad, Peter and Wayne piled into his extended cab truck while we all got
ourselves situated.

Jeremiah had a big black truck and I gulped when Jay motioned for me to get in
first. I sat there as Jay slid next to me on one side and Jeremiah on the next.

It wasn't entirely unpleasant being sandwiched in-between the two of them.

There's something seriously wrong with me…

I blushed at my thoughts and jumped a little when the truck roared to life, the cab
vibrating with the bass of his music.

Jay laid his arm across the seat behind me and teased the hairs on the back of my
neck. I broke out into goose bumps and he just grinned at me.
- 975 -
 Jeremiah pulled up next to Em's Jeep and turned down the music, "Yo Em, ya'll
follow me…"

Then he smiled at Alice in the back seat, "Did'ja miss me?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed, "I saw you an hour ago."

He smirked, "You didn't answer my question, baby girl…did'ja miss me? Were ya
thinkin' bout me?"

Oh my God, Alice is blushing…

She smiled as she kicked Rosalie's seat in front of her, Rose laughing hysterically
at her.

"Maybe a little…"

He smirked, "Just a little, huh…damn, I've been thinkin' bout you since the
moment I left…"

Now she smirked, "Well maybe you should've asked me to ride with you."

He just grinned, "Don't you worry now, baby doll…I'll take you for a ride later."

Then he winked and turned his music back up before pulling out of the parking
lot.

Jay reached over and turned the music down, "Cuz, I love you, man…but don't
hurt Alice. She's a good girl…"

Jeremiah rolled his eyes, "What? Am I a bad guy or somethin'?"

Jay sighed, "That's not what I meant, Jeremiah…"

Jeremiah chuckled and pulled out a cigarette, "You're entirely too uptight, Cuz…I
like Alice but she knows I'm leavin' in a couple days. I don't gotta lie to get a girl to
fuck me, Jay…Alice is a big girl and if she lets me fuck then I'm gonna fuck…and if
she lets me write her while I'm gone, I might do that too. She knows I'm not lookin'
for a relationship…she ain't either so we're just havin' some fun."

Then he smirked, "Besides, as petite as that girl is…I can break off some crazy
acrobatical type shit, son…"
- 976 -
 Jay laughed and shook his head, "You're so full of shit, Cuz…"

Jeremiah nudged me, "You know what I'm talkin' bout, huh pretty boy? Us
Whitlock's, we ain't all that successful or wealthy and shit…but we look good and we
rock the cock in the bedroom…it's like our legacy and shit…"

I blushed but then realized that I was getting ready to meet all of Jasper's
relatives at a barbecue in Texas…I had better toughen up a little bit.

I took a deep breath and smiled over at Jay, "He's right, Jay. Alice is a grown
woman and who are you to deny her chance at experiencing the Whitlock legacy?"

Jay laughed and just shook his head, "Fine, I'll back off."

Jeremiah smiled and took a drag of his cigarette, "Eddie, my man…you got mad
skills yo…"

I laughed.

What in the hell is he talking about?

He smiled, "Fo sho…"

Now Jay laughed, "You high, Cuz?"

Jeremiah snorted a little then tried to hide it with a cough, "Maybe a little."

Then he reached up and tousled my hair while he grinned at Jay, "Your hair looks
good by the way, Ed…Jay did good, huh?"

I fought a blush as Jasper laughed, "Don't you worry, Cuz…I hold it down for the
Whitlock's just fine…"

Jeremiah laughed then he handed Jay his cigarette pack, "I got a blunt roach in
there if ya'll wanna toke up 'fore family time and shit…"

Jay looked at it for a second before passing it back to him, "No, we're good right
now, Cuz. I don't think we need to be all fucked up in front of Esme, Carlisle, and
Peter."

I squeezed his knee a little to let him know I thought that was a good decision and
I was proud of him.
- 977 -
 Jeremiah shrugged, "That's cool but ya'll are gonna get fucked up with me tonight,
right? I already talked to your daddy bout ya'll stayin' the night…we got a keg and
shit but I didn't tell your daddy that…"

I looked over at Jeremiah with a crooked smile, "My dad said we could stay the
night?"

He laughed, "Yup…ya'll can have my room cuz as long as I got a roof over my
head, you will always…always, have a place to fuck. That's what family's all
about…and shit…"

I could've kissed Jeremiah…but quickly realized that was quite inappropriate.

Because he was family…and family wasn't made of flesh and bone but of heart and
soul…and apparently, family always gave you a place to fuck.

- 978 -
 Chapter 47

Hey guys, I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this out. I'm an accountant
and this time of year is crazy for me, on top of all my other
responsibilities…plus I got the stupid flu over the weekend. But please, be
patient with me for awhile and know that even if it takes me a minute to
update, I will finish this story. I would never abandon it or any of you cuz I
know how bad that shit sucks to read something you like and it never gets
finished…I won't do that to you! Promise!

Thanks for reading and hope ya'll enjoy!

Jay's POV

As we pulled up in front of Aunt Barb's house, I felt my stomach drop as reality hit
me and I realized that Carlisle, Esme, and Edward were about to meet my whole
damn family.

Of course, I knew that the Cullen's would never judge me for anything my family
did but I worried that it might be one hell of a culture shock for them.

Cuz in my family, we cussed like truckers, drank like fish, and had no fuckin'
verbal filter, whatsoever.

It didn't surprise me to hear the house already thumping with country music.

The 'rents were already there and Carlisle was helping Peter out of the truck.

I looked over at Edward and let out a breath, "You ready for this?"

Scarlet already colored his cheeks but he took a deep breath and nodded,
"Um…yeah…I think…"

Smiling, I squeezed his thigh in reassurance, "Don't worry, babe, I'm sure they're
gonna love you…"

God damn mother fuckers better be good to him…

A smile tugged at the corner of his cherry lips, "I want them to like me, Jay, but
it's really only important that you like me."

- 979 -
 Resisting the urge to lock my fingers into his freshly-fucked hair and shove my
tongue halfway down his throat for being such a sweet little fucker, I just whispered,
"Well, I love you, Eddie. Thanks for doin' this."

The conviction his pretty green eyes held caused the hair on the back of my neck
to stand up as he whispered back, "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, Jasper…"

There were just no words for the way that boy made me feel…but I had to reign
that shit in cuz we were gettin' ready to walk into the belly of the beast…

A.K.A. Whitlock family barbecue

But I didn't come this fuckin' far and go through so much shit for these mother
fuckers to break me…

Taking one last deep breath, I smiled, "Let's go."

We all piled out of the truck and were joined by Em, Rose, and Ali. We walked in
the front gate and Jeremiah smiled, "Well, c'mon, ya'll, follow the music."

We followed dad and Jeremiah 'round to the back of the house.

My cousins Ethan and Caleb were here with a couple of girls. Suzie was sitting on
a lawn chair next to granny Whitlock and she broke out into a huge grin when she
saw us.

A minute later she was runnin' up to us and surprised me when she threw her
arms around my waist and gave me a quick hug.

She pulled back and smiled, "Hey Jay, thank God ya'll finally got here…I've been
havin' to entertain granny and ya know what a hateful ol' bag she is..."

I knew exactly what she meant, in fact, my granny was really the only one I was
really worried about here. I had only actually met her a handful of times but she was
old school. She was 79 years old and hateful as the day is long.

The only thing I knew of for certain about my granny was that she didn't
discriminate against no one…she hated everybody equally.

A nudge brought me from my worries as Suzie eyed Edward with a smirk on her
face, "So, ya gonna introduce me, ya rude bastard, or have you forgotten all your
southern boy manners already?"
- 980 -
 See…no verbal filter.

I laughed, "Well, it's a good thing you haven't lost your ladylike southern charm,
Suzie Q…"

She giggled and sighed, "Shit, Jay…it's too bad you're goin' back up north, it
woulda been pretty cool to have you around when I start high school this year…"

I felt kinda bad so I just went to introductions.

She laughed as she eyed everyone with child like curiosity and awe, "Wow…I don't
know what they're puttin' in the water up there in Washington but ya'll are pretty as
a picture..."

She twirled her long hair around her fingers shyly as she looked up at Rosalie,
"Your hair is so beautiful…"

Then she looked at Alice who she actually stood a few inches taller than, "And
those are the cutest shoes I have ever seen…"

You could see the light in Alice's eyes at the mention of her shoes, "I just love
these shoes! I got them at this little boutique in Italy two years ago. Which reminds
me, where's the closest mall because I really have to get some boots while I'm here.
Oh, we should go shopping together, have you gone back-to-school clothes shopping
yet?"

Suzie looked down and shrugged, "Um, no, but we really don't have the money
this year…"

Without even thinking, I bent down and whispered, "Yeah, ya do…"

She looked up at me in confusion and I just smiled, "Don't worry about it, I got a
little extra and besides, nobody shops like Alice does, you'll be in good hands."

The Texas sun must've completely melted that Ice Queen exterior away as Rosalie
smiled warmly, "Why don't we make a girls day out of it, maybe see if Esme and your
mom would like to go?"

Alice bounced, "Yes, that sounds like so much fun! How about tomorrow? We
could get our hair and nails done and then grab some lunch and…"

Knowing that Suzie had likely never met anyone as hyper as my little pixie friend,
- 981 -
I laughed at the look on her face as she tried to keep up, "Reign it in, Ali…you're
goin' way too fast for country folk."

She rolled her eyes at me and Suzie looked down as she mumbled, "I'll never look
as pretty as ya'll do…"

Jeremiah stepped forward and bent down to look up at her, "Girl, you're a mother
fuckin', Whitlock, and we don't ever look down for nobody…"

Then he laughed as he put her in a headlock, giving her one hell of a noogy, "Cuz
when ya look down, ya can't see what's comin'…"

She fought back against him, laughing as she broke free and smacked him in the
back of the head. She started running her fingers through her hair to straighten out
the tangled waves as she laughed, "You're such an asshole, Bubby."

He smiled, "Yeah."

Then she blushed and bit her lip as she whispered, "Thanks for the money, Jay."

The money really didn't mean shit to me…I mean, don't get me wrong, it would be
nice not to struggle so much but really…I already had everything I needed.

Except maybe a truck…

And besides, I knew that Alice and Rosalie could help her pick out clothes that
made her look a little more…classy. I figured a little time with them might be good
for her because Suzie lacked confidence, that's why she dressed and acted the way
she did…she figured it was the only way to get anyone to notice her.

"Hey ya'll…"

I turned my head to see Aunt Barb walking up, "Suzie, darlin, go get your granny
some iced tea…"

Suzie nodded, "Okay, mama…it was nice to meet ya'll, I'll talk to ya later…"

She ran off and thankfully, Jeremiah took over introductions.

Sticking out his hand to my aunt, Carlisle smiled, "The food smells wonderful,
Barbara, thank you for inviting us. It's so nice to meet you."

- 982 -
 Barb blushed, apparently no one is immune to Daddy C's charm, "Oh, well it
weren't no trouble at all, there's plenty of food…fried chicken and barbecued ribs, so
ya'll just make yourselves at home."

Jeremiah started fishing around in the cooler before grabbing two beers, popping
the top off one and taking a long pull as he instinctively tossed me the other one,
"Heads up, Cuz."

I caught it with wide eyes as I looked at Esme and sighed while I handed the
bottle to Carlisle, "Thanks, but we're under 21 and it's illegal for us to drink."

I wanted to kick my own ass for sounding like such a douche but Esme and
Carlisle's opinion of me was important.

Edward, Emmett, and the girls tried to stifle their laughter and Carlisle chuckled
under his breath as he took a drink of the beer.

I gave Jeremiah a glare and he just shrugged, "Eh…I'm sort of a rebel…"

Barb rolled her eyes, "Mind your manners, son…"

Jeremiah grabbed another beer and smiled, "Sorry, mama…Esme, Peter, would
ya'll like a beer?"

I seriously wanted to face palm myself but I just closed my eyes and shook my
head instead.

Esme's light hearted laughter surprised me, "A beer would be wonderful, thank
you, darling. This heat is really something."

Jeremiah handed her a beer and I watched as she and Carlisle clanked their
bottles and took a long draw. Peter wiped his brow with his handkerchief, "No,
thank ya, son…"

I went over to him, "How 'bout some iced tea, Peter?"

He nodded, "That'd be nice, son."

The heat was getting to him and I wanted to get him into the shade, "Well, c'mon,
let's go find you a place to sit and I'll make your plate for ya…"

There were some scattered plastic lawn chairs and an old picnic table so
- 983 -
everybody dug right in and found a place to sit, easily chatting it up with Barb and
my dad. I realized that they were all around the same age and they seemed to be
getting along well.

Caleb and Ethan hadn't spoken to me so I figured they weren't being as open
minded as everyone else seemed to be. The were playing corn hole with their
girlfriends in the back of the yard and wouldn't even look in my direction.

Well, and then there was granny Whitlock. This woman might be the downfall of
this whole damn thing. She was sitting under the shade tree, clutching onto her
Bible with her lips pursed together tightly. My dad eventually got up and went over
to sit with her. It didn't take long to see the anger etched on both of their faces as
they began arguing about something. Daddy was tryin' to keep it quiet but that old
woman had a voice that could break glass and rivaled the annoyance of fingernails
scratching down chalkboards.

I knew everyone heard her as she screeched out, "It just ain't right, son! You
shouldn't be defendin' him, you oughtta be beatin' the fear of God back into that
boy!"

I looked down at the table as I felt my anxiety rise, my cheeks flush and my whole
body bursts into flames…or at least I wish it would. I could defend myself against
bigger guys and older men…but how the hell do you defend yourself against a 79
year old woman?

Daddy's words fell on deaf ears as she continued to call me out in front of
everybody.

"Layin' with another man is a sin! That's why God gave them perverts Aids and
diseases, cuz they gotta suffer for their sins!"

Edward nudged my foot and I looked at him, feeling the strange calm of his ease
begin to wash over me. He didn't look embarrassed or mad or anything…in fact, he
gave me a small crooked grin before standing up and walking over towards my
granny.

Anxiety crashed over me in waves as I just watched, feeling completely helpless,

as he walked over to try and reason with the devil incarnate.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Whitlock…"

She scowled at him, "What do you want?"

- 984 -
 The tell-tale signs of anxiety also began to rise in Edward as he ran his fingers
through his crazy hair and blew out a huff of air. But then he drew a breath in and
raised his head…he was nervous but he tried valiantly not to show it. He cleared his
throat and spoke quietly, "Um…the bible says that, 'suffering produces endurance,
and endurances produces character, and character produces hope'…Romans,
chapter 5, verses 3 and 4."

The disgust on her haggard face was blatantly evident as she wrinkled her nose
up and cackled, "I think I know the bible better than you do, boy…I live my life by
it…"

Confidence and passion just rolled off my boys tongue as he smiled that cocky
crooked grin that always tells me he's ready to debate…

"Good, then you know of Luke chapter 6, verse 36, 'Be ye therefore merciful, as
your Father also is merciful'…or Matthew 7:1, 'Judge not, that ye not be
judged…and Ephesians 4:29, 'Let no evil talk come out of your mouth, but only what
is good for giving necessary teaching, and for grace to those who give ear'…"

Granny was turnin' ten shades of red as we all watched in horror as someone
actually dare to challenge her ancient opinions. But what my poor boy didn't know
was that there was a long runnin' joke in our family that when the end of the world
came around…the only thing left would be the cock roaches and granny Whitlock.

The old lady was tough as nails and stubborn as a barn yard mule. Eddie had one
hell of a fight on his hands…but I was hopeful that he'd win.

And even if he didn't win with granny, the little fucker won with me.

Hatred rolled off her bitter tongue as she spat, "Just cuz you memorized a few
bible verses to help sell your evil deeds, don't think you can fool a good ol' Christian
woman like me. I know the Good Book like the back of my hand, raised on it 'fore I
could even read the words…you're the devil's plaything, boy…a filthy, perverted
little creature and all o'ya'll are gonna burn in hell for your sins…"

Several things happened at once…Edward cringed a bit, Esme and Carlisle were
out of their chairs, daddy was yellin, "That's enough, mama!", and I was already at
Edward's side, ready to tell the ol' bitch to save me a seat since she'd be in hell long
before I would.

But before I could open my mouth, Edward was shaking his head at all of us and
steeling himself, "It's okay, please let me handle this."
- 985 -
 Reluctantly, I backed off but I swear to God if that hateful ol' cunt spouts off at the
mouth one more mother fuckin' time…

Taking a moment to gather himself, his confidence returned as he looked down

into her cold, gray eyes, "You're right, the bible does say that homosexuality is a sin
but not an unforgivable one. It also says 'for all have sinned and fall short of the
glory of God.' And Mark chapter 7 says, 'Because from inside, from the heart of men,
come evil thoughts and unclean pleasures. The taking of goods and of life, broken
faith between husband and wife, the desire of wealth, wrongdoing, deceit, sins of
the flesh, an evil eye, angry words, pride, foolish acts: All these evil things come
from inside, and make the man unclean.' Do you really hold yourself in the same
regard as your Heavenly Father, Mrs. Whitlock? Sin free?"

Words seemed to fail her for a moment as she gaped at him, for once in her long
ass life, finally being shocked speechless.

The pride I felt for my beautiful strong boy as he stood up for us was
overwhelming. My anxiety was replaced with his conviction as he continued to make
my granny shut the hell up and listen.

"The bible tells us that we are born of a sin nature, inherited through the original
sin of man when Adam and Eve were thrown out of the Garden of Eden for eating
from the tree of knowledge. So now, man kind has knowledge of good and evil.
Hatred is one of the things we learned when we fell from grace.
Humility…shame…anger…spiteful words…the desire to hurt others…those are all
tools the devil uses to make it seem ok to do evil…to justify it…so it seems that
perhaps he plays with us all at some point in our lives. But I will not let evil words or
unfair judgments take away my self worth. I would rather be hated for what I am,
than loved for something I am not. James 4:17 says that a man who has knowledge
of how to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin…you know that hate and angry
words are sinful yet you cannot hold your tongue…"

She finally snapped and screeched out, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

I wanted to laugh as he smiled and held out his hand, "I'm Edward Cullen,
ma'am…your grandson's best friend. And I, also, know the bible like the back of my
hand and 1st Peter says, 'Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over
a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.' So, as
Jasper's grandmother, your love for him should over shadow your hatred of his sin
and you should at least be hospitable towards him."

The irritation on her face was priceless as she turned her nose up at his
- 986 -
outstretched hand and crossed her arms across her chest like a bratty child, "I don't
want nothin' to do with a faggot…I'm right about this, I know what the bible says
and you ain't gonna convince me otherwise…"

Edward sighed, "I say to you, It is not so: but if your hearts are not changed, you
will all come to the same end, Luke 13:3."

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I woulda never believed how fast that old lady
jumped up out of her chair, waving the cane around that she obviously didn't need,
as she stomped off screaming obscenities and orderin' my daddy to take her home
and away from these sick people.

Edward's eyes went wide as he looked over at my dad, who was clearly
embarrassed and mad as hell all at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Whitlock! I didn't mean to…"

Dad cut him off with a deep sigh, "Stop apologizin', son, it ain't your fault. Mama's
meaner than a rattlesnake. Well, I'll be back in a while…"

After he walked off, Edward turned to my aunt Barb and started apologizing
again. She sat stone silent for a moment, apparently still in shock before finally
breaking out into a fit of laughter, "Ho-ly shit, son! I ain't never seen no one put
mama in her place like that!"

The guilt was weighing on him as he shook his head, "No, it was disrespectful of
me to do that in your home, but I swear, I honestly had no intention of making her
leave…I just thought that maybe I could talk it out…"

That caused Suzie, Jeremiah, and even Caleb and Ethan to join aunt Barb in her
laughter. After a moment, Barb walked over and patted Edward on the shoulder,
"Oh, honey, there just ain't no talkin' with that old woman…the only person that's
ever been able to shut her up was daddy and he died a long time ago. Now, don't get
me wrong, I love mama…it's just that I don't like her very much. It's about time
someone stood up to her…I just try and ignore her as long as possible and Wayne
tells her to shut the hell up, but she don't listen. But I ain't ever seen her stomp
away from an argument like that. You sure got her good. You might be my new
hero."

The embarrassment of that old bitch's tirade still lingered but it was over
shadowed by the pride I felt for Edward. I could feel it coming from everyone else
too. He was amazing.
- 987 -
 All my life, every battle I ever fought, was with my fists…not my words. He kept
his cool and never lost control, he stayed strong and debated his argument perfectly.
I needed to learn how to do that…use my words.

Carlisle put his hand on Edward's other shoulder and glowed with pride, "I'm so
proud of you, son. You handled that beautifully. Unfortunately, no matter how hard
you try, there are some people who just will never accept you and try to bring you
down. You didn't let her words shake you…it's simply amazing the leaps and bounds
you've grown these last few years. You've learned that some people are going to
hate you for no reason at all and you're not going to be able to change that because
they don't want to change, but the important thing is that you don't let anyone
de-value who you are…"

Now he put his other hand on my shoulder and squeezed, "Because both of you
are incredible people and I feel so extremely blessed to be a part of your lives."

Esme pulled Edward into a big hug and whispered in his ear, "Thank you,
sweetheart, for having your dad's patience because you saved your poor mom the
embarrassment of doing something very ugly to that old woman."

That's when I realized that somewhere deep down inside, Esme was a little ghetto,
like me. She was the hot-headed one while Carlisle was the quiet, peace
maker…kinda like me and Eddie.

Everyone just gathered around and ate some more as they talked for awhile.
Emmett spoke up as he took a break from stuffing his face, "You know, Jay, with a
mother like that, for your dad to accept everything the way he has, he must be
trying awfully hard to change."

I nodded and Barb smiled, "Well, I ain't gonna lie, son…it's not been easy for him.
We just weren't expecting it. I mean, every time Jasper used to come visit, you
couldn't beat the girls off him with a stick. But me and Wayne promised each other a
long time ago that we'd try and raise our kids different. We're not that old, ya know.
The world we grew up in is a lot different than mama's world. And her and daddy
both were just so judgmental…when I was in high school, I dated outside my race
once and they kicked me out of the house. Wayne took up for me but he was 13 so
weren't much he could do. Anyway, the relationship didn't last and I stayed with a
friend. When I had Jeremiah, mama wouldn't even come to see him, till she knew for
sure he wasn't mixed. She's a mean old lady and I'm afraid that sometimes me and
Wayne act just like her…but we don't wanna be that way so even if your daddy
messes up again, son, know that he's tryin' and please don't give up on him."

- 988 -
 I realized that daddy should've probably been back at the barbecue by now, but he
wasn't. I hoped he wasn't off drinkin' somewhere but I promised Barb that I wouldn't
give up too easily and I'd do everything I could to try and help.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ethan and Caleb walking over to us. I just
stood there and waited while they fidgeted and scratched at their hair, quite
obviously nervous.

Eventually, Ethan let out a huff of air and nodded at Edward, "Hey, how ya doin'?
I'm Jay's cousin, Ethan."

Caleb never said a word but Ethan introduced his self to everyone and said they'd
meet up with us later tonight at the bonfire.

Jeremiah's loud ass voice rang out and broke the still lingering tension in the air,
"Who wants to play corn hole?"

I heard Edward start coughing and looked up to see his face was blood red as he
drank down a whole glass of lemonade.

I furrowed my brows, "You okay, dude?"

He nodded as his face seemed to even get redder.

What the hell could he be embarrassed about?

Jeremiah walked up and smacked Edward on the back, "I know you wanna play
corn hole with me, huh, Ed?"

Edward's eyes got wide and it finally clicked to me what was going on.

I answered for him, "We'll play later, Cuz…but you could keep an eye on Esme for
me so I can sneak out front and smoke a cigarette?"

I smiled and he rolled his eyes, "Go on, man…"

I motioned for Edward to join me as I watched Jeremiah go up to Carlisle, "You up

for some corn holin', Doc?"

Esme started chuckling and Aunt Barb rolled her eyes, "Good Lord, Jeremiah…"

He started laughing and tried to look innocent, "What? It's a game! Ya'll are a
- 989 -
bunch of perverts…"

Now, Esme started laughing hysterically as everyone joined in. Then she stood up
and grabbed the bean bag from Jeremiah's hand as she dead panned, "I'll have you
know that I am the corn hole queen of Chicago."

Edward looked kinda horrified as he followed me around to the front of the house.

Once we reached the front porch, I pulled out a square and lit up. I leaned against
the brick wall and Edward leaned next to me.

My cheeks hurt, I was smiling so damn big, "First off, I really gotta know what
kinda porn you been watchin' that makes you turn that damn red at the mention of
corn hole…"

He blushed even deeper and looked down at his feet, "I don't know what you're
talking about…"

I smirked, "Right…anyway, corn hole's a game where ya throw little bean bags
into a hole cut out of a wooden board. There's corn hole boards set up in the back…"

His efforts to hide his school girl giggle were in vain, "Say corn hole again…"

Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help but laugh, "Corn hole…you didn't have no clue
what he was talkin' about, did ya?"

He shook his head and giggled, "No, I thought he was, like, making fun of me or
something…"

"Jeremiah might tease the shit out of you, but he wouldn't make fun of you…by the
way, um…thanks for stickin' up for me back there," Now it was my turn to look down
at my feet as the humiliation from how my grandmother acted hung thick around
me.

I felt his breath against my cheek as he whispered, "It's not your fault how your
grandmother behaved, Jay…and I was sticking up for us. Besides, I really didn't have
any intention of making her so angry, I really thought I might make her see
reason…I suppose it was a bit naïve on my part…"

Raising my eyes to meet his gorgeous green ones, I smiled, "I thought you were
kinda brave…"

- 990 -
 Snorting, he rolled his eyes, "There's nothing brave about standing up to an old
woman, Jay…"

My lips curled up into a grin, "I think it's brave anytime you don't back down…and
I think it's brave to try and change people…fightin' has always been the way I dealt
with opposition and I had no idea about how to deal with that old woman. I woulda
probably acted just as bad as her, runnin' my mouth, sayin' horrible things but you
never did lose your temper or let her get to you. I just…you just really amaze me
sometimes, Edward. I wanna learn to be like that…"

A rosy stain covered his cheeks as he flashed that crooked grin that made my
knees wanna give out from underneath me, "Thanks, Jay. That was really nice what
you did for Suzie, by the way. She seems sweet."

I sighed, "Yeah…I mean, she can be a total pain in the ass sometimes but…I don't
know, I guess I kinda feel bad for her."

He looked at me seriously now, "Why is that, Jasper?"

I shrugged and took a draw of my cigarette, "Suzie…tries too hard to impress

these assholes around here…she already had a bad reputation when I was in school
and she hasn't even went there yet…"

Running my hand through my hair and pulled my thoughts together, "I worry that
she's gonna get pregnant or get caught up in some bullshit that she let some guy
talk her into. She obviously needs a strong man in her life and Jeremiah's gettin'
ready to leave…they're real close and shit. I guess, I just worry about what's gonna
happen to her when we're all gone."

Edward smiled softly, "You can keep in touch with her…you can be a positive
influence on her life no matter where you are."

I nodded and sighed, "Yeah, I'm gonna keep in touch with her…"

Fuck, I hated the tinge of guilt that was creeping up my spine…

"Hey Jay?"

I looked up into his pretty green eyes and he whispered, "It's okay to be a little
selfish…you've held the weight of the world on your shoulders for so long and I
know that it's in your nature to want to take care of everyone but you have to take
care of yourself first…"
- 991 -
 I looked down and wished I had a beer, "But I don't really take care of anyone,
Edward…I mean, I couldn't even take care of you when you needed me the most…it
was my fault you were even in that god damn place…if I hadn't been so fuckin'
stupid about James and got sent away…I broke my promise to you, Edward. I
promised that I'd always be there for you and I wasn't…"

He smiled and spoke softly, "Someone very, very smart once said, 'If ever there is
tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always
remember…you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter
than you think, but the most important thing is, even if we're apart…I'll always be
with you.' You are a part of me, Jay…wherever I am, you're always there with me. I
know this because when I needed you the most, you were hundreds of miles away,
yet I still drew my strength from you. I always do."

I felt the tension begin to melt away and my skin broke out in goose bumps.

Leaning in, I whispered, "Shit, pretty boy…you keep sayin' them pretty words and
I'm not gonna be held responsible for showin' the town folk somethin' I know they
ain't ready to see…"

His cheeks tinted pink as he bit down on that plump bottom lip.

I focused on that lip and grunted a little while I adjusted myself. Edward laughed,
"We should maybe put a little distance between us, Jay…I can't think straight when
you're so close…"

He pushed away from the wall and walked to the edge of the porch, shoving his
hands in his pockets and teetering on the balls of his feet.

I drew in a deep breath and stubbed out my cigarette, "So, what genius was the
quote from?"

Edward was always quoting shit…I found it kinda fascinating that he was so
smart…and extremely sexy.

He grinned as his cheeks tinted again, "Um…Winnie the Pooh."

I laughed and raised an eyebrow, "I didn't know Pooh Bear was so smart…"

The pink stain on his cheeks and light in his pretty green eyes captivated me as he
smiled, "He's quite brilliant, actually."

- 992 -
 We started walking back, falling naturally in step together side-by-side, and he
nudged into my shoulder, "Feel any better?"

I smiled over at my beautiful, sweet boy, "Yeah, Eddie…you always make me feel
better."

He smiled and nodded, "Good. So, you up for some corn holing?"

I laughed and it took everything I had not to reach out and just pull him into a
hug, but I resisted, "I think I can handle that."

We joined the game. There were two boards set up so Esme and Carlisle were
playing Jeremiah and Alice. Eddie and me took on Em and Rose.

Twilight was beginning to set in and I noticed that Carlisle had drunk quite a few
beers. Esme was a little tipsy but I think it's safe to say that Big Daddy C was drunk
as a skunk.

It had come down to him and Esme against me and Eddie in, what we dubbed as,
The Corn Hole Super Bowl.

Drinking had only seemed to make Carlisle better as he sunk the last bean bag. I
laughed as he threw his arms up in the air and proclaimed loudly, "I am the corn
hole king!"

I nudged Edward, "Hey since your mama is queen and your daddy is king, does
that make you the corn hole prince?"

He rolled his eyes and laughed, "Don't get too smug, Jay…some day you will be my
corn hole princess."

I giggled, "Say corn hole again…"

He giggled back, "Corn hole."

I was in a much better mood.

After the grown ups left, we were all gonna party down at the lake, just like we'd
usually do on a Friday night.

Carlisle had his arm slung around Esme's shoulder as they walked up to us. I
laughed, "You doin' alright there, Doc?"
- 993 -
 Carlisle giggled, "I feel like I'm in college again…"

Then he raised his arms again and yelled out, "Go Bull Dogs!"

Esme laughed, "Alright, dear, I think we better head back to the hotel…"

Carlisle nodded emphatically, "That is a wonderful idea…you're so smart and

sooooo pretty…"

Jeremiah was standing beside us, chuckling as he nudged Edward, "Your old man
is a hoot, Ed."

Edward smiled, "Yeah, he is."

Esme, Carlisle, and Peter were saying good bye and thanking everyone for their
hospitality…

Dad had never came back so Em was gonna take them back to the hotel before
meeting back up with us.

We walked over and Edward asked, "It's okay for Jay and I to stay the night,
right?"

Carlisle nodded and did his best to stand up straight and not appear completely
wasted, "Yes…yes, that would be...uh…um…umm…"

Esme smiled, "Are you okay, honey?"

Carlisle pointed at her with a huge grin, "Yes! Okay! I could not, for the life of me,
think of that word! Yes, son, it's okay that you stay the night."

Then he put his hand on Edward's shoulder and raised his finger, "But no
drinking. Drinking is very bad for you and it doesn't make you cool…"

I giggled, "I don't know, Carlisle, it makes you pretty cool."

He rolled his eyes and grinned, "I was born cool, son, the alcohol has nothing to
do with it."

Then he flung his arms around both our shoulders and began walking as he
whispered, "Seriously, boys, I know I'm clearly not being a very good role model
right now but honestly I haven't drank beer since college and forgot how slowly it
- 994 -
creeps up on you. But I'm of age and you are not. Please promise me that you'll be
good tonight…I'm allowing you this freedom because I trust you. You know I don't
want you to drink but I'm not naïve enough to think you won't try it if you're around
it. If you do, please keep it to one or two drinks and do not, for any reason, drive
anywhere or get in a car with someone who's been drinking. I don't care what time
it is, if you need a ride, call us. I'll send your mother or call you a cab. Can I trust
you boys to be safe tonight?"

We both agreed and after thanking Barb again, Carlisle, Esme, and Peter left. I
stepped out on the front porch and lit a cigarette as soon as they pulled off outta
distance. But the roar of Em's Jeep was soon replaced by a Lincoln Continental, bass
blarin' so loud that it was vibrating shit. Some dick stuck his head out the window
and yelled, "Hey Suzie! Move your ass, girl!"

Does this mother fucker not see me sittin' here? Cuz I know this bastard ain't
talkin' to my baby cousin like that…

Suzie came running around to the front and held up a finger, "Just a minute, Billy!
I'm helpin' mama with somethin'…"

He rolled his eyes, getting outta the car and leaning against it as he lit up a
square. Then the bastard smirked as he looked right at me, "Damn it, Suzie, hurry
your slow ass up…your homo cousin's eyeballin' me…"

Oh hell no…

I smirked back as I threw out my cigarette and walked up to him, I was not gonna
hit him…at least, I was gonna try real hard not to, "Hey Billy, didn't your mama
teach you no respect? That's my baby cousin you're talkin' to and that ain't no way
to talk to a lady…"

He laughed, "Suzie ain't no lady and at least my mama didn't teach me how to
suck dick like yours did…"

Suzie was just coming around the corner when she heard him. But by then, I had
his arm twisted behind his back and had him bent over the hood of his car. She
screamed, "You son of a bitch! How dare you talk about my family like that! Kick his
ass, Jay!"

He was strugglin' to get free as I shoved him face first into his hood a few times,
growling out, "You better raise your hand 'fore you speak to me, boy…"

- 995 -
 Then Jeremiah was next to me, opening up his car door and laughin', "Go on
home, son, 'fore things get real ugly…"

I shoved him into his car and slammed the door shut. He was so pissed that his
face was the color of blood. He looked over at Suzie as he threw the car in reverse
and squealed tires, "Bitch, we're fuckin' through but you can bet this shit ain't over!"

As he took off down the street, Suzie walked over and looked down at the ground,
"I'm sorry, Jay…Billy's such a dick sometimes. But if it makes ya feel any better, we
beat the hell outta Kaycee a couple weeks back…"

Laughing, I put my arm around her and gave her a hug, "I know, ya did, Suzie
Q…thanks, darlin."

Jeremiah was upset though as he furrowed his brows and looked down at her,
"Why the hell are you lettin' guys talk to you like that? You're damn lucky that it was
Jay who got to him first cuz if I woulda grabbed the little son of a bitch, he wouldn't
be drivin' away…"

Crossing her arms over her chest, she huffed, "Like you're any better, the way
Candace treats you! Are you even sure that baby is yours?"

The hurt was evident on Jeremiah's face as he let out a breath and sighed, "Shit,
low fuckin' blow, Suzie…I'm just gonna worry about you when I'm gone…"

Immediately, her face softened and she walked over to him, "I'm sorry, Bubby. I
didn't mean it, I swear to God I wish I could learn how to control my tongue
sometimes. I know you're right about the boys I date but I'm right too. It's all her
fault you're leavin'…I heard the things she was sayin' to you and she was wrong! You
could both get jobs and try and make this shit work but instead she talks you into
joining the army so she could get your money and her freedom! Just cuz you've
known her since ya'll were knee high…it don't make her a good girl, Bubby, and you
wouldn't have to worry about me if you didn't leave."

I admit that I didn't know Candace all that well, but from what I had seen, the girl
could fuck with his head like nobody's business.

He just turned and walked to his truck, hollerin' out, "C'mon, ya'll, let's head down
to the lake…time to start drinkin'."

Knowing that he had already been drinkin', I talked him into letting me drive. I
could tell that he wasn't gonna talk to me about what was going on with him and
- 996 -
Candace but I wanted to make sure and talk to him later about it.

Everyone else followed us, it wasn't long until we were all pulling up to the lake.

It was private and completely secluded, hidden back on some property my

grandpa had left to my dad for huntin' and fishin.'

After we all piled out, me, Em, and Eddie started building the fire while Jeremiah
tapped the keg. He was a little bummed when I said I was gonna stay sober so I
could drive us back to his house tonight but I promised Carlisle I'd be safe and I
damn sure intended on keepin' my promise to him. Besides, I didn't wanna be
messed up with Eddie and Alice and all my friends here cuz crazy shit always
happened at these parties and I had to keep on my toes just in case they needed me.

The bright Texas sun dipped back behind the trees as the full moon rose. People
started showing up and the party was in full swing by the time the last rays of
daylight fell.

I was sittin' on an old fallen tree trunk, away from the fire as I watched Eddie, Em,
Alice, and Jeremiah fill up their plastic cups. Edward had promised me he'd take it
easy tonight on the alcohol. I didn't wanna risk him having an episode and I wanted
him to stay somewhat alert himself.

Rosalie walked up over smiling as she sat down next to me and nudged my
shoulder, "Hey Jay. How are you holding up?"

Stretching out my long legs, I leaned back and grinned, "Better than I thought I'd
be. You aren't drinkin'?"

Her long blonde hair blew in the breeze as she sighed, "No, I'm driving Em's jeep
back tonight. And anyway, I don't really like drinking around strangers…I mean, I
know most of them are your family and everything but…I just…"

Nudging her shoulder with mine, I smiled, "Hey, it's alright, Rose. I get it. You
don't have to explain nothin' to me, darlin'. By the way, I wanted to thank you for
bein' so nice to Suzie. I think you and Alice could be a real good influence on her."

Rosalie looked down to the ground and sighed, "I know how she feels…I was her
three years ago…I can just see it in her eyes, that look of desperation…the need to
just have somebody look at you…to just notice you and you'll do anything to get that.
I never thought I could be a positive influence on anyone but I'll help her the best
way I can."
- 997 -
 I smiled, "You're a positive influence on a lot of people, Rose. Alice adores you and
Em thinks the sun shines outta your ass."

Laughing, she rolled her eyes, "I missed you, Jasper. I'm glad you're coming
home."

I nodded as I took a drink of my Coke, "Me too."

The familiar rumble of bass filled my ears as I turned my head to see three
carloads of trouble pulling up.

"Shit, is that the jerk from earlier today?"

Standing up and lookin' over at Jeremiah, who was nodding at me, I nodded back
and sighed, "Yup, and a whole bunch of his little asshole friends."

By the time all ten of them punks got outta the cars, me, Jeremiah, Em, and
Edward were standing there waiting. I looked over at Edward and his poor little
swollen black eye and sighed, "I'm sorry, man, I'm always gettin' you into shit. I
swear when we get back home, I'm not gonna fight no more."

He just shrugged and the corner of his lip turned up very slightly, "Sometimes you
have to fight, Jay."

And that, is why my boy's perfect.

We didn't have a choice, whether we wanted to fight or not, a fight was comin'.

Now I don't know where Hollywood movies came up with the idea that people
have long elaborate debates before fightin' cuz in my experience, most street brawls
started with very few words.

In this case, it was, "Kill the fag."

The moment it fell from Billy's lips, chaos erupted. We started out great, Jeremiah
throwin' a mean left hook to some guy's face, sendin' him to the ground…Em
shoving one fucker back so hard, he stumbled and fell before turning and grabbing
another fucker and shoving him head first into the door of his Lincoln
Continental…Edward ducked a punch and threw in a few good shots to the mother
fucker's gut, causing him to keel over as Edward continued to whoop his ass…and I
had Billy's back against his car, knocking his god damn teeth down his throat.

- 998 -
 But in fights like this, shit moves fast and the upper hand can be easily lost. A few
minutes later, my back was on the ground as two of the bastards held me down
while another one kicked me in my ribs.

I could see that Edward was struggling with his guy as they wrestled around,
kickin' up dust. Jeremiah had two guys on him, trying to pin him to the car as they
exchanged blow after blow. Emmett was on top of a guy, layin' dolo's on that boy,
but then another guy was on his back with his arm around his neck.

In the midst of the anarchy, I heard Alice's little voice scream out, "Cover your
eyes, Jay!"

I ripped my arms from the grip on them and rolled just in time to cover my face as
Alice pepper sprayed all three of these fuckers right in the face.

I heard them scream out as I scrambled to my feet, muttering a quick, "Thanks,

Ali…," before taking off for Emmett.

The guy on his back was choking him while the other one hit him. I ran up, and
kicked that mother fucker square in his jaw…I swear, I heard some shit crack on
that fuckin' blow.

He fell over, letting go of Em so he could breathe again. I heard another car pull
up and raised my eyes just in time to see Ethan and Caleb jump out.

I figured they'd help Jeremiah so I was gonna go after Edward, who had two guys
on him now.

But they surprised me, Ethan ran to Edward while Caleb went to Jeremiah. I
helped Em out with his last guy and only a few minutes later, we were all standin'
there lookin' down on those assholes as we smiled through bloody lips and sore
bodies.

I put my hand on Edward's shoulder, needing some sort of physical contact, no

matter how small, "Hey, you okay, Eddie?"

He nodded, "I'm fine, Jay. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm tired of fightin' though…I would give anything to just be in your room
playin' Call of Duty right now."

I grinned at him and he laughed.

- 999 -
 The party kept rollin' long after those pricks had pried themselves from the dirt
floor and took off, spouting off bullshit as they went. I saw Ethan sittin' on the back
tailgate of Jeremiah's truck so I broke away from the group and walked over to him.

"Hey, Jay, you ain't drinkin'?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm drivin'…anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for helpin'
out back there…"

Shrugging, he tossed his beer back and took a long pull. Then, looking at the
ground, he sighed, "I don't understand it, Cuz, I really don't…but you're family and if
you need me, I got your back."

Pulling out a square and lighting up, I sighed, "Well, thanks for helpin' Edward."

A huge grin broke out on his face as he laughed, "He stood up to granny…and was
holdin' his ground pretty good when we pulled up, I figure the boy deserves some
respect. I mean, after all, if he's with you, he's gotta be one tough little fucker and to
actually come all the way down here...bein' around us and all our fucked up shit…he
must be crazy as a shit house rat. He might fit right in."

Looking over at Edward, I see him sipping his beer, as he laughs at Jeremiah.
Suzie is sittin' next to Alice and Rose, while they cheer on Em in a football game he
picked up with a few of the guys.

I told Ethan I'd see him later and walked back over to my friends.

Em talked us in to joining the game and I even talked Edward into playing. I
needed to stop trying to protect him from everything. He was capable of takin' care
of his self just fine, but if he ever needed me, I'd have his back.

I took over the QB position and made Edward the wide receiver. I knew he could
catch cuz we used to throw the ball around in his back yard while I'd be teachin' him
how to talk to the other kids, even when he was distracted by something else.

And Eddie was fast as greased owl shit.

Jeremiah and Emmett blocked for us and I gotta say that watchin' Edward catch
the ball and smoke past everybody in his way, was pretty fuckin' hot.

When the game was over and we had won with Eddie's winning touch down, I
smiled at the deep blush in his already flushed face as everyone went on and on
- 1000 -
about how fast he was. I was gonna have to try and talk him into tryin' out for the
team back home. Then we'd both have uniforms that we could use when we were
feelin' a little freaky…

Just sayin'…

The party was winding down and people kept leaving until just a few of us
remained. Jeremiah drank the last of his beer, then crushed his plastic cup and
tossed it in the trash. He threw his arm around my shoulder as he looked out over
the lake, "Well, Cuz…I'm drunk…let's go swimmin'…"

And I knew what was gonna happen 'fore I even seen his white ass shinin' in the
moonlight.

Skinny dippin.

Jeremiah always got drunk and went skinny dippin. He was runnin' down to the
lake before grabbing his junk for safety as he did a cannonball into the water.

Looking at Edward, I see his green eyes are wide and his mouth is gaping open as
he watches Jeremiah until he hit the water…then he looks at me as his whole face
goes up in flames.

I laugh and nudge his shoulder, "Dude? Were you just checkin' out my cousin?"

Stammering, he runs his fingers through his hair and looks down,
"Um…no…uh…let's go swimming, Jay, but I'm keeping my boxers on…"

And then he's taking off for the water, shredding his clothes as he goes until he's
in nothing but dark gray boxer briefs. He launches into the water as I see Em's big
naked ass run by before he jumps in.

Alice looks at Rose and shrugs before strippin' down to her bra and panties and
joinin' the boys in the water. I smile over at Rose as she smirks at me, "You gettin'
in, Rose?"

She rolls her eyes and laughs as her cheeks tint in the darkness, "I'm not wearing
underwear."

I shrug as I pull off my shirt, "I ain't either, darlin…you can wear this, if you want.
It's long enough to cover you."

- 1001 -
 She thanks me for the shirt as I strip off the rest of my clothes and she takes off
hers, wearin' just my t-shirt. We take off runnin' and a minute later, we're all
splashing around, and cooling off in the water.

By the time we drag our asses outta the water, Eddie's practically sleep walkin.
We decide to call it a night. Rose drives back to Jeremiah's house with him, Em, and
Alice while I take Jeremiah's truck.

I turn off the radio and roll down the windows, grateful for the cool night time air.
Edward smiles as he slides across the seat and right next to me. I raise my arm and
he cuddles into me, sighing deeply as he whispers, "I had a lot of fun tonight, Jay…I
mean, apart from the fight."

I squeeze him tight as I pull down the old dirt road, "Sorry I'm always gettin' you
in trouble, Eddie…"

Lifting his face, his green eyes were half lidded and sleepy as he smiled, "Don't be
sorry, babe…sometimes people take your choice away and you have to fight.
Because of you, I'm not afraid of that anymore. I don't back down because I'm not
scared anymore…I still don't like fighting but it's nice to know that I'm not
completely helpless. Thank you for teaching me how to stand up for myself, Jay…"

He cuddled back into my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair as I smiled,
"Anytime, darlin…so tell me, baby boy…was I mistakin' or did you pop wood over my
cousin's naked body cuz you took off runnin' like a bat outta hell…"

Giggling, I knew that his face was red even if I couldn't see it, "I didn't pop
wood…and besides, have you seen your cousin? I'm sorry, Jay, but Jeremiah is…hot.
Really, really hot."

I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder playfully, "That's just gross, dude…he's
my blood…"

Edward just shrugged and grinned, "He's not mine…you're better anyway…I think
you've got him beat by a good inch and a half…"

That caused my eyes to go wide as I looked over at him, "Oh my God, you were
checkin' out my cousin's dick!"

He burst into a fit of laughter as his face went up in flames, "I'm sorry, Jay…I just
couldn't help it…"

- 1002 -
 Then he snuggled back into me as his laughter died down to soft giggles, "Just
because I looked, doesn't mean that I could ever want anyone else, Jay. That would
be impossible…I'm all yours, babe…"

I leaned down and pressed my lips to his for just a second before smiling and
whispering, "I know. Love you, baby boy."

He whispered he loved me too as he curled up and closed his eyes, sighing

contently.

When we got to the house, Em and Rose took Suzie's room while she stayed the
night at her friend's house, Alice and Jeremiah took the fold out couch since she
made it clear that he wasn't gonna get anything other than maybe a kiss from her
tonight, and me and Eddie took Jeremiah's room.

I was hopin' we'd get to fool around tonight but Edward was out like a light as
soon as he hit the bed. I went out on the back porch for one last smoke and was
surprised to see Jeremiah there, tokin' up.

He smiled as he handed me the joint, "Pretty boy passed out on ya, huh?"

Nodding, I took the joint, taking a few hits before passing it back, "Yeah…so
what's up with you and Alice?"

Sighing deeply, he shrugged, "I don't know…I told her that I might try and work
things out with Candace. Carlisle talked to me today…said he might be able to help
me get a good job and an apprenticeship in a trade program…said a lot of guys owe
him favors that he'd be willing to pull for me."

I couldn't help the smile that broke across my face, "Yeah? What are you
thinking?"

He handed the joint back and smiled, "He said that it was just an option and that
he'd have to talk to you and Edward but…I guess him and Esme both agreed that
me, Candace, and the baby could stay there for a little while till we got up on our
feet…I guess, Esme even volunteered to baby sit. I ain't never met people like them
before, Cuz…willing to take in strangers and help them out…"

"They're good people, Jeremiah. They can help you if you let them. Maybe I can
talk to Peter about Suzie comin' to stay with us. He's got an extra room in the back
and it might do him some good to have people around. We'd all be together still…"

- 1003 -
 He nodded and grinned, "I'm gonna talk with Candace tomorrow…if she said yes,
do you think Edward would be cool with it? I mean, we'd be like, takin' up all his
space and shit…"

That made me laugh, "Just do me a favor, Cuz…if ya'll move in with the Cullen's,
just stay fully clothed at all times…I don't think my poor boy's heart could take much
more…"

Jeremiah raised an eyebrow and snickered, "Your boyfriend thinks I'm hot, huh?"

I shoved him in the shoulder and rolled my eyes, as he started singin' "Don't you
wish your boyfriend was hot, like me?"

Laughing uncontrollably as the pot settled in, I just shook my head, "I can't
believe i'm the gay one...I'm goin' to bed, Cuz…hey thanks, for everything."

He smiled, "No problem, Jay…night, Cuz."

"Night."

And I walked back down the dark hallway to where my boy was sleeping, thinkin'
happy thoughts that maybe I wouldn't have to leave my family behind…maybe we
could all help each other out and maybe we could all actually make it outta these
fucked up lives we were born into.

Maybe.

- 1004 -
 Chapter 48

I wanna say a big thanks to all my readers. I appreciate you guys so much
for sticking with me and the boys. We'll be winding down after this chapter
and coming to an end…I'd say two, maybe three more. But don't fret, there
will be a sequel for those of you who still haven't had enough of these boys.

If you guys wanna read a great story featuring Twinkward and Prisonsper,
check out Philomena's, "Neighbor From Down The Hall." It's in my Favorites
and it's such an awesome story with a fabulous Edward and a Jasper that you
just wanna cuddle…

Love Should by Moby

Eddie's POV

I awoke to the sound of crickets and the feel of the cool night time air. I must've
dozed off for a few minutes. Opening my hazy eyes, I vaguely see the plastic blades
of the fan in front of the open window…it's quiet hum is soothing. The room is dark
but the soft glow from the street lamp outside shines just enough for me to take a
peek around.

I figure that Jay must've went for a smoke or something since I'm all alone in
Jeremiah's room. I sit up and stretch, breathing in the fresh air deeply, causing my
lungs expand to their fullest before letting it all go.

I had only drank a couple beers so I actually felt pretty good…having kept my
promise to my dad this time.

Pulling back the cool sheet and stepping onto the cold wood floor, I tip-toed over
to the window, never being able to resist the urge to look out upon the world from
the safety behind it.

I stood there, gazing out at the quiet street and rows of small houses lit up by a
path of softly lit street lamps leading…somewhere. The whole world was right
outside this window and it looked so…real. There were no ominous shadows or
sinister voices keeping me from walking down that path. I wondered why I had been
so frightened of it for so long. I mean, I may not have known where that path was
leading but as long as I had a little light to lead me then it wasn't scary at all…it was
freeing.

- 1005 -
 Jasper was my light.

I closed my eyes for a moment and remembered the view from my old bedroom
window before it was painted over.

I could barely see the worn street below filled with children playing and houses
that stretched on forever…

Opening my eyes, the longing was still tangible…the longing to just crawl through
that window and down to the ground where I could play too.

But gone was the fear that kept me standing there with my palm pressed against
the glass, aching for someone to save me…because now there was nothing keeping
me from just crawling through that window all on my own and saving myself.

A moment later, my toes are curling in the soft, wet dew covered grass beneath
them and I'm grinning like a mad man. I realize that I must look absolutely insane
and that makes me grin even more because I really don't care how I look.

I feel free and powerful and no one can take that away from me anymore.

His laughter is like the angels singing, "What are you doin', Eddie?"

I turn and take in his dimpled smile and baby blue eyes, the wind blowing those
golden curls across them as he leans out the window.

His smile is radiant…a light that will always guide me…encompassing me and
always taking the darkness away.

I grin back, "Um…having an epiphany…and just feeling the grass between my

toes. It's squishy. I like it."

If it's even possible, his smile is wider as he laughs and easily jumps through the
window. We're both barefoot but still in our jeans and t-shirts but he looks gorgeous
as he shoves his hands in his pockets and pulls that plump pink bottom lip between
his teeth. Rocking on the balls of his feet, he looks a little shy and I kind of like
seeing Jasper on his home turf because here is where he needs me.

"Hey um, babe…there's someplace I wanna take you. Will you go with me?"

Nudging into his shoulder, I roll my eyes and laugh, "Do you really have to even
ask me anymore, Jay?"
- 1006 -
 A soft tint shades his cheeks as he smiles, "C'mon, it's not far from here but we
need to get our shoes cuz it's untellin' what we might step on out here, darlin'..."

I pout just a little, "But babe, I really like the way the grass feels."

He jumps back through the window and sticks his head back out with a goofy grin
and a shrug, "Well, I'll just get mine then since you ain't afraid of steppin' on those
big ass Texas slugs…man, that shit sucks cuz you don't even know you stepped on
those squishy bastards till you look down and see a little eyeball all poppin' out
between your toes…"

"Okay, okay, just get my shoes…"

I was combing my little patch of grass for creepy slimy slugs as he laughed,
"That's what I thought you'd say."

Asshole.

After pulling on our socks and shoes, we walked through the back yard and I
followed his lead, easily jumping the low chain-link fence into another yard. We cut
through two more yards and ended up on a sidewalk filled with more dim street
lamps and small houses. It was mostly quiet out here, apart from the crickets and
the occasional car off in the distance.

Talking softly as to not disturb the peaceful night, I nudged Jay's shoulder with
mine, "Where are we going?"

He smiled over at me, "Patience is a virtue, Eddie."

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Well, I suppose I better hold onto the little bit of
virtue I have left…"

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, "You're a god damn saint, Edward."

"No, I'm not but that's okay because I don't have to be. Someone very smart once
told me that everyone was fucked up, some are just better at hiding it."

Nudging into me, he smirked, "Was it that brilliant fucker, Pooh, again?"

Smirking right back at him, I winked, "Nope…it was Superman."

Walking side by side and in step with Jasper was easy…comfortable, being with
- 1007 -
him always had been for me, but in the beginning I often had to walk behind him so
that he could protect me from all the evils of the world…my super hero.

But even then, the evil attacked me from the inside where I was left
defenseless…until he told me that he loved me. And he didn't just say the words, as
so many people do…he showed me…he saturated me in love, filling the gaping holes
from where my soul had been ripped in pieces from my body…he made me whole
again…my angel.

"Hey, um, Eddie? I wanna ask you somethin' but if you don't wanna answer, it's
okay…"

Stricken by the soft serious tone of his voice, I turned to look into his beautiful
baby blue eyes, "I'll always answer you, Jay. What is it?"

His voice was quiet as he looked down at the cracked sidewalk below him, "I don't
know the bible like you do but I know that it says some pretty bad things about,
um…bein' gay…and I was just wonderin' if that ever bothered you when you were
figurin' out that you liked me."

I let out a breath and smiled because this was easy to answer, "I worried that it
was wrong, or really that other people would think it was wrong but that was just a
minor thought in the back of my mind. Mostly I worried about how I was going to
get you to kiss me again…and again…and again…"

He smiled a little but it didn't reach his eyes, "So all that bullshit about goin' to
hell don't bother you?"

Shoving my hands in my pocket to fend off the need to touch him, I looked down
at the ground as I felt my cheeks heat up, "No, it doesn't bother me at all because…I
didn't flinch when you touched me. That was the first time I can ever remember
being more curious about someone than being afraid. You didn't scare me…you
intrigued me because your touch was comforting right away. I mean, it took my
parents years to do that."

Nudging into him so he'd look over at me, I gazed into those honest blue eyes and
sighed, "Hell is not being able to be touched or loved or comforted for fear of being
hurt. It's the loneliness and solitude of feeling non-existent. Hell is living in a
nightmare that you can't wake up from…but you woke me up…you breathed life
back into me. I was hanging on by a thread when I met you, Jasper…so close to hell
that I could feel the demons clawing at me as I gasped for my last breath…"

- 1008 -
 He stopped walking as his eyes looked right through me, seeing my soul laid out
before him bare, as it always had been.

Leaning in just a little closer, I can see his breathing hitch as I whisper, "But you
swooped in and gave me shelter beneath your wings. They were real long before the
tattoo, Jay. So, no, I don't worry about going to hell because you've already saved
me once…I won't make you do it again."

His eyes closed as he took a deep breath and I smiled because I knew he was
fighting the urge to kiss me. For some reason, the boy just couldn't seem to resist
me.

Exhaling slowly, his beautiful blue eyes opened and he smiled as he whispered, "I
love you, Eddie."

"I know you do, Jay…I love you too."

Shaking his head, he laughed, "C'mon, babe, 'fore I throw you down in the middle
of the sidewalk and do things to you that I'm pretty sure are illegal in the great state
of Texas."

Not much further, we came to an old abandoned church. It was just a small white
building, even in it's best day you could tell it wasn't fancy.

"What I wanna show you is around back…"

I followed him back behind the building to an overgrown park that had apparently
been abandoned as well.

I looked over at him as he studied the worn down playground, "Did you come here
as a child, Jay?"

Walking over and sitting on an old metal bench, he pulled his knees up to his chin
and nodded, "Yeah."

Sitting next to him, I nudged his shoulder and smiled, "It looks like it would've
been fun."

He rested his cheek on his knees and looked over at me, "Yeah, I thought so too."

Sensing the storm brewing behind those midnight eyes, I couldn't stop myself
from reaching over and brushing my fingers through his honey hair as the wind blew
- 1009 -
it gently around his perfect face, "What's up, Jay?"

His eyes closed as he leaned slightly into my touch and whispered, "The first time
I came here, I was seven. It was the first summer I had ever stayed with my dad and
right after the first time he hit me…mama's boyfriends had been doin' a number on
me already so I guess I shoulda been prepared for it but I actually thought that
maybe being with my real dad would be different…I remember thinkin' that maybe
he'd save me from mama…"

My heart ached with pain for him, my beautiful boy.

"He hit me cuz I wouldn't stop askin' him to go outside and play with me…he told
me I needed to grow up cuz the world was tough and only little pussy boys wanted
to go outside and play…so after he passed out, I started walking and ended up here.
I sat just like this, right here on this bench, and I watched the other kids
play…trying to convince myself that I needed to quit actin' like such a baby…that I
needed to be tougher…but the whole time I was prayin' that just one kid would come
and ask me to play with him…no one ever did."

Looking at him now, so vulnerable, he seemed so small…I could easily see him
here at seven years old, alone and clutching like hell to his innocence as so many
others fought endlessly to rip it away from him.

His eyes were glossy now as he looked into mine and bared his soul to me…just as
he always had.

"I came here for weeks, just sittin' here and watching. There were these two old
ladies that always sat on the far end of the bench. Here I was, seven years old,
covered in bruises…dirty…practically screamin' for someone to just…fuckin' notice
me…help me. One day, one of the old ladies whispered to the other one about my
bruises…I remember feeling hope that maybe someone would save me…but then the
other woman whispered back, 'He's just one of those Whitlock boys…you know
they're no good. He was probably out torturing small animals 'fore he came
here…I'm sure he just got what was comin' to him…"

The breath left my lungs as I whispered, "Those evil old bitches…"

He looked up at me and smiled as a few tears fell down his cheeks, "They were
some evil old bitches. Anyway, the other one just turned her nose up and they went
back to ignoring me. That feeling of hope was replaced with a feeling that maybe
they were all right about me. Maybe I wasn't smart or sweet or…good…maybe I was
the piece of shit that everyone kept tellin' me I was. I remember bein' so god damn
- 1010 -
mad that I stood up and kicked that old bitch in the ankle 'fore taking off runnin'."

We both laughed in spite of ourselves.

Even though our pasts were different, we shared very similar emotions as
children. We were both made to feel like we weren't good…like we were invisible.
His reaction differed from mine as he lashed out at the world that tried to ignore
him…I withdrew inside my mind, away from the world that refused and frightened
me.

Yet, here we were…

The few tears were receding as he smiled at me, beautiful dimples and flushed
cheeks, "That all started changin' when I met you, Eddie…after you told me your
story, I felt hope again cuz here you were, this scrawny little kid, sweet and innocent
and so fuckin' good, despite what happened to you…I felt like if you were strong
enough to go through all that fucked up shit and still be so damn good, that maybe I
could be good too. What I'm tryin' to say is that you're my angel too, baby boy…my
Superman…I just wanted you to know that."

It's moments like this that I feel like my heart might burst…

And I want to kiss him…to touch him…to just anything him…

So I stand and hold out my hand, smiling my crooked smile that makes his
dimpled one appear, I ask, "Would you like to play with me, Jay?"

Smirking, he raises an eyebrow and drawls out, "Which part do I get to play with?"

I just roll my eyes at his cheesiness, "Come on, Jay…let's regress back to our
childhood…we can play, um…tag and if you win, you can pick out the next game…"

He just shook his head and laughed, "Seriously, man, we're too old to play tag…"

I scoffed, "Someone once told me that we're teenagers and we do dumb shit…that
it was kind of our thing…"

Giggling now he smiled, "I did say that huh?"

"Yep…when you convinced me to go skinny dipping with you at Peter's lake.

Besides, if you can catch me, maybe I'll give you a blow job in that fort up there…"

- 1011 -
 I pointed to the rocket shaped fort that housed three different slides…it was
almost completely enclosed.

But he was already off the bench and coming for me as he laughed, "You better
run, Eddie."

I jumped and took off running, smiling at him as I looked behind me, "You better
run faster, Jay."

Then I ran through the playground and jumped on one of the slides, quickly
climbing up it and into the fort. I was quite a bit faster than him so I turned around
and waited, taunting him, "You really should consider quitting smoking, babe…it's
making you slow."

He started up the slide after me, laughing, "So now you're gonna be all cocky and
shit, huh?"

I jumped from the tower to the ground below, laughing as I took off again.

My poor boy chased me around the playground as I jumped and climbed and
teased him. I surprised myself at how athletic I was becoming.

Eventually, Jay doubled over, putting his hands on his knees as he panted, "Holy
shit, you're a fast little fucker…"

I came to a stop and strode back over to him in victory, "Since I won, I get to
choose the next thing we do."

He looked up at me and smirked, "I vote for blow jobs in the fort."

I laughed and sat down on the swing, "You don't get a vote…let's swing."

With an over exaggerated sigh but a sweet smile, he sat on the swing next to me,
"Alright, Eddie."

And we swung on the swing set, jumping off at our highest point of elevation
which I didn't really understand why anyone would do that but Jay assured me that's
what kids do.

We landed on the grass with a thud, laughing like idiots.

Next was the monkey bars. As we hung upside down by our knees, all of the blood
- 1012 -
was rushing to my head but the beautiful dimpled grin on his red face more than
made up for it.

"I wish we woulda known each other when we were little, Eddie. We woulda had a
lot of fun together."

I smiled back at him, his face picture perfect against the world turned upside
down all around him, "Yeah, we would've."

His hand reached out as calloused fingers brushed across my cheek and he
whispered, "There's somethin' I always wanted to try…"

The honey of his breath pulled me in as my eyes fluttered close and our lips met.
The kiss was soft, sweet…his tongue, gentle as it glides against mine, drawing me in
closer as my fingers wrap themselves in golden curls that fell away from the nape of
his neck.

When he has kissed me senseless, the world no longer seemed upside down at all
because when my eyes opened…all I could see was him.

His cheeks were scarlet as he laughed, "I've wanted to do an upside down kiss
ever since I saw it on Spiderman."

Oh my god, he's such a dork…

Now I couldn't help but laugh and tell him just that.

He responded with a shrug, "He's my favorite superhero. When I was growin' up

on granny's farm, I got bit by spiders all the damn time…every time it happened, I'd
put on my Spiderman pajamas and start jumpin' off my bed and shit, tryin' to see if I
was gettin' any super powers…"

Picturing a little blue eyed boy with bouncy honey curls and deep dimples, I
smiled, "I bet you were adorable."

He laughed, "Yeah…some things never change."

I rolled my eyes again and chuckled, "You're so damn cocky."

Smirking, he shrugged, "Yeah but you know you love it."

I really did.
- 1013 -
 Pulling himself upright on the monkey bars, he smiled, "C'mon, Eddie…it's time
for blow jobs in the fort..."

"You're just not going to let that go, are you, Jay?"

"Nope," he answered with a laugh.

Mimicking his actions, I pulled myself up and followed him up the ladder into the
small metal rocket ship.

We couldn't stand fully upright in it, so we sat Indian style on the floor, facing
each other. It was really dark, only a sliver of moonlight through the small openings
to the slides, and it was really humid.

Though I could barely see him, I could hear his laughter ring out, "Maybe this
ain't the best place for blow jobs…it's hotter than a two dollar pistol at a swap
meet."

I laughed at his cute southern sayings. I had always loved the way he spoke.

I felt his legs against mine and then he was sliding closer until I could finally see
the baby blue in his eyes.

His arms went around my neck as mine went around his waist, pulling him closer
still. No longer concerned about the heat because we were used to the fire every
time we touched. I could see the pink in his lips as he smiled, "You remember back
when I told you that I liked kissin' you?"

Licking my lips in anticipation, I smiled at the memory and nodded.

And then his lips were on mine as he mumbled, "I still really like kissin' you…"

I loved kissing him. I remembered how we used to just lie in bed at night and kiss
for hours…I could die a happy boy with just one kiss from him because with Jasper,
a kiss was never really just a kiss.

When he kissed me, it was like we were speaking a language that no one else
knew…we poured everything into it that we could never put into words, but didn't
really ever need to because we understood each other perfectly, no words needed.

I may be young and naïve, but I am not naïve enough to think that what Jasper and
I have is normal. We far exceed normal boundaries when it comes to the connection
- 1014 -
we share…the love and devotion…need and desire…faith and trust…

Soul mates.

Before I met him, I would've never had believed such a notion but there was no
other explanation. We were two halves of a whole and I thanked God for making me
whole again.

And I truly believed that as bad as the beginning of our lives may have been…we
would truly make up for it with blinding happiness by the end.

We kissed until we were sticky and sweaty, panting through swollen lips as
slippery fingertips dug into damp hair.

Eventually, he pulled away, breathing ragged and voice rough as he whispers,

"We better get headin' back…"

I nod through my own shallow breaths as we begin to untangle our bodies. He

kisses me softly, one more time and tells me he loves me…and I know that he does.

On the way back to Jeremiah's house, the brisk air feels so good on my overheated
skin. He pulls out a cigarette and lights it up, blowing a puff of white smoke into the
dark night time sky.

He told me that Jeremiah might be staying with us in Forks and I was ecstatic. I
mean, it might be a little weird at first but Candace couldn't be that bad if Jeremiah
loved her…and it would be wonderful for Jay to have him there…and we wouldn't
have to worry about something happening to him in the army…and we'd get to see
his baby all the time.

I didn't like kids much, but I loved babies.

I hoped Candace agreed because I could see so many potential good things
coming from this. No doubt, Jeremiah had grown up his entire life with the whole
"Whitlock boys" stigma over his head…I would love to see what kind of greatness he
was capable of because there was no doubt in my mind, that he and Jasper were
fully capable of proving all those narrow minded people wrong.

After we snuck back in through the window, we decided that we should take
showers before sleeping in Jeremiah's bed, seeming we were covered in dirt and
grass.

- 1015 -
 The house was quiet as I crept behind Jay down the hallway to the bathroom. I
could barely hear the TV in the living room playing quietly as Jeremiah and Alice's
hushed voices broke through.

They were still awake and having a conversation, but I couldn't hear well enough
to know what was being said. I hoped she took it well that he was going to try and
work things out with Candace. I know I might be heartbroken if I thought I had a
chance at him and then it didn't work out…though, knowing Alice like I do, she
would be gracious about it and happy that he was trying to fix his family.

She was one of the least selfish and most understanding people I had ever
known…always putting other's happiness before her own. She was magnificent and I
hoped that she found someone worthy of her one day.

I followed him into the small bathroom as he turned on the light and closed the
door behind us. We placed the clothes Jay grabbed from "his drawer of shit" in
Jeremiah's room, on the counter and he started the water.

I was a little apprehensive about taking a shower so late and with Jasper but he
assured me that Barb slept with ear plugs because of the trains that would keep her
up all night, so she wouldn't hear...and Jeremiah wouldn't chance walking in on us in
the shower together so we were safe as long as we kept it fast.

We quickly showered, only stealing a few lingering kisses as we stood under the
water and rinsed.

But once we got in the bedroom, I was aching with pent up need for my angel boy.

It wasn't long until we were snuggled underneath nothing but a sheet on

Jeremiah's bed. We were both in sweats but I had a t-shirt on too. I lied on top of
him, my knees between his legs, spreading him wide open for me. His fingers
trailing fire up my back as they pushed my shirt slowly up, exposing the heated skin
to the cool breeze of the fan still perched in front of the window.

I removed my lips from his, just long enough for him to yank my shirt over my
head and toss it somewhere. Now our bare chests slide along each other while I
grind my cock against his, the fabric of the sweats doing nothing but making each
stroke hotter than the one before it.

My fingers yank the clingy fabric down his hips, exposing his beautiful hard cock
to me, standing long and dripping with need as it lays thick against his toned,
tanned stomach. His lidded baby blues are on mine as I lift up, eagerly pulling down
- 1016 -
my own sweat pants, my cock bouncing lightly against my stomach as I rip the
material down my legs and toss them.

His fingers dig into my hips as he yanks me back down on top of him, crashing his
mouth to mine. We both are moaning into the kiss as our bodies move against each
other, sticky and sweaty and so hard…

Breaking the kiss, he reaches for his "drawer of shit" and pulls out a bottle of lube
and some condoms, lying them next to my knee.

My eyes narrow and I can't help the surge of jealousy I feel, "Why the hell do you
have condoms?"

He rolls his eyes and smiles lazily, "Relax, caveman…Jeremiah doesn't want jizz all
over his sheets so he gave them to me this mornin'…"

Then the thought that Jeremiah knew we were going to be having sex in his bed,
made me blush, "Oh, um…sorry."

He smiled as he stroked his gorgeous cock languidly, "Don't be sorry,

baby…defend your cock."

I laughed and began trailing kisses down his stomach, sliding my body down his
legs. Placing a kiss on the wet tip, I whispered, "Mine."

His head fell back against the pillow as I licked the slit and sucked on the head,
"Yours."

Finally giving him what he had been asking for all night, I drew his cock deep
down my throat, swallowing and licking as much as I could. His hands fisted the
sheets as he bucked up into my mouth, groaning and cursing with each thrust. But I
knew exactly what Jasper liked…slow, wet, messy head.

He liked the sounds of slurping and moaning around his cock. So, looking up at
him, I let the spit trail from my tongue to his cock, making a big show of it as I
slurped up the wetness around his head.

He was thrashing beneath me as I teased him, begging for more. I loved it when
he begged.

Taking him deep down my throat again and twisting my mouth around his hard
shaft on the way back up, I grabbed the lube and got my fingers wet.
- 1017 -
 Letting his cock pop out of my mouth, I licked my way down to his balls. Slurping
and sucking and licking while he moaned wantonly into the night. I began working
my fingers inside of him, preparing him for me because I was fucking him tonight.

By the way he tugged at his cock and pushed down against my fingers, I knew he
was ready for me.

Lifting myself up to my knees, I grabbed a condom and remembered back to the

Vanquish. He smiled, already looking blissed out, "You remember how to put it on?"

Feeling a little cocky, I smirked as I tore it open and rolled it down my cock.
Pushing his knees further apart with my own, I positioned myself at his entrance and
smiled, "I could never forget anything you taught me, baby."

He wrapped his arms around my neck and pushed his feet into the mattress,
"Fuckin' need you, Eddie…"

Pushing into him, he moaned loudly and I panted out, "You've got me, Jay…I'm all
yours…"

I tried to go slow so I wouldn't hurt him, but he was having none of that. He
pushed against me and I slid all the way in as his sweaty fingers skidded across my
shoulders, trying desperately to pull me even closer.

Taking his lips to mine again, I pulled out almost all the way and slammed back
into him, causing the bed to squeak loudly and the headboard to hit the wall.

I broke the kiss and laughed, "Shit! This bed is too loud…"

He smiled and shook his head, "Fuck it…fuck me, baby…Barb ain't gonna hear
you…you know Em and Rose are fuckin'…and I've heard Jeremiah fuckin' so many
times that he fuckin' owes me this shit…"

And he felt so damn hot and tight around me that I found myself nodding before
taking his lips to mine and murmuring, "Fuck it…"

I just began drilling him hard and fast as he held on tight, moaning loudly and
trying to hang on for dear life.

He was moaning in my ear, all sorts of dirty things as he begged me to fuck him
harder and faster.

- 1018 -
 Afraid that the headboard would dent the wall, I pulled out and stood up.
Grabbing the pillows and throwing them on the floor, I whispered breathlessly, "Get
on your hands and knees…"

With a sexy smile, he got down on the floor, putting his knees on the pillow and
sticking his ass out for me. He looked at me over his shoulder as I dropped to my
knees behind him. Running that metal stud over his bottom lip, he whispered, "Take
the condom off…"

I pulled it off quickly and tossed it in the trash before reaching up on the bed and
grabbing the lube. I watched the black ink on his back and a mop of blonde curls as
I stroked myself a few times, getting me good and wet so I could slide back into him.

With one hand gripping his hip, I positioned myself again and pushed into him.
Feeling his bare body around mine, I couldn't stop myself from grabbing on tight
and fucking him hard.

He was stroking himself as he met my thrusts with his own, both of us making
more noise than the headboard ever did.

My body was aching for release as I pushed the damp hair from my eyes, I knew I
wasn't going to last much longer. Not wanting to cum without looking in his eyes, I
pulled out and rasped, "Turn over, Jay…"

He turned over on his back and I grabbed his thighs, pulling him closer. He
reached down and grabbed my dick this time, easily guiding it into him as I leaned
over and took his lips to mine. I reached between us and jacked him off while I
started drilling his sweet spot.

Within moments, he was cumming hot and thick between us…a few more pumps
and I was done as well, my whole body shuddering with pleasure as I came deep
inside my angel boy.

He looked up at me through dark blue lidded eyes and damp honey curls, a soft
smile on his face as he whispered, "I love you, Eddie…"

Pushing the curls from his eyes, I kissed him softly one more time, "Love you too,
Jay."

Fighting the urge to just sleep on the floor, I finally pulled out and Jay grabbed a
washcloth to clean us up. We dressed quickly and soon we were snuggled up
together again in bed.
- 1019 -
 The fan felt so good, cooling down our skin as we slept tangled in one another,
despite the heat.

I awoke to the smell of marijuana and Jeremiah sitting on the floor by the side of
the bed with a bong. Then as my eyes opened further, I saw Emmett too.

"Wake n bake, ya sleepy mother fuckers! It's a beautiful day and ya'll are wastin' it
in bed!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes and giggle at his enthusiasm…Jasper, on the other
hand, was not a morning person.

Grumbling beside me, he groaned, "Just five more minutes, Cuz…"

Jeremiah blew out a long puff of white smoke and choked out, "Is he always so
damn grumpy in the mornin'?"

Before I could even stop myself, I smiled, "I could wake him up in a wonderful
mood but that would require you and Emmett leaving."

Jeremiah started choking even harder. Emmett starting laughing hysterically and
the bed started shaking as I heard Jasper break out into a fit of laughter.

I tried to contain my giggling but I could feel my whole face light up in

flames…but it really was funny.

Finally, Jeremiah held out his fist for me and laughed, "Pretty boy's a dirty minded
mother fucker…welcome to the family, although by the way that headboard was
hittin' the wall last night, I woulda thought he'd already be in a damn good mood."

I bumped his fist as Jay sat up, grinning from ear to ear as his rough voice drawled
out, "I'm in a great mood, mother fucker."

I loved watching Jasper first thing in the morning. His baby blues eyes barely
opened, honey curls in complete disarray covering those lidded eyes, and he always
scratched his belly. It reminded me of Peter and I couldn't help but laugh every time
he did it.

Emmett hit the bong now as I asked, "Where are the girls?"

Jeremiah smiled with stoned red eyes, "They're gettin' ready to go pick up your
mama. They're gonna be gone awhile, man, shoppin' and all that shit."
- 1020 -
 Emmett choked out and handed the bong to Jay. I was surprised when he shook
his head and reached for his cigarettes instead, "No thanks, man…I gotta go check
on my daddy today…"

I love it when he says 'Daddy…'

I turned down the bong as well remembering that I needed to call my dad and let
him know everything was okay.

We got out of bed and I started walking out to the back porch so I could have
some quiet to call my dad. I passed by, what I assumed was Suzie's room and heard
Rosalie call out for me.

Poking my head in the door, I smiled as I saw her styling Suzie's hair. Suzie had
also borrowed one of her little sun dresses and I had to admit, she looked great.

Rose smiled, "We need a man's opinion…how do you think Suzie looks?"

Her make up was toned down a lot and her hair looked really soft without all the
hairspray.

"Wow…you look really beautiful, Suzie. Of course, I thought you were beautiful
the first time I saw you but not hidden behind make up you don't really need, you're
quite breathtaking."

It surprised me when she jumped up and threw her arms around me, hugging me
tightly and whispering, "You're just about the sweetest thing I ever seen…I can see
why Jay loves you so much."

I hugged her back and it was a little awkward but also kind of nice.

One thing I noticed is that the Whitlock's were touchy feely people, always
hugging or throwing their arm around people…they held a lot of love in them, even
if they didn't fully realize it.

I excused myself and finally stepped onto the back porch, pulling out my phone
and calling my dad.

"Good morning, son."

"Good morning, dad. I just wanted to check in with you…let you know we're all
okay."
- 1021 -
 I could practically hear him smile through the phone, "Thank you for calling,
Edward. Did you have a good time last night?"

Feeling the blush in my cheeks, I couldn't stop grinning, "Yes…it was very
different than what I'm used to but I had a really good time."

"Good. Did you two drink?"

Resisting the urge to lie, I swallowed thickly, "Um…yes but I limited it to two just
like you said. And Jasper didn't drink so he could drive me home."

He sighed, "Really? Good boys. Thank you for listening to me."

A twinge of guilt nipped at me, "Dad? Um…I'm sorry for making you worry so
much."

The familiar chuckle made me smile, my dad was always laughing…always

happy…it was a testament to his strength how he could always smile, and make
everyone around him smile too.

"You don't have to apologize for being a normal kid, son. And for the record, I
don't worry about you so much anymore. You've proven to me that you're capable of
handling yourself well. Just please don't forget that I'm a little older and have been
around the block already a time or two…now, what about Emmett, Rose, and Alice?
Did they drink responsibly?"

Sitting down on the plastic lawn chair and feeling the sun on my face, I smiled,
"Yeah, Rosalie didn't drink so she could drive them back."

"Very good. You know you have some incredible friends, son."

I nodded, "I know."

"You know those kids came over to the house almost every day over the summer,
checking in with us…making sure we were okay and letting us know when they
spoke to you. They spent a lot of time with Peter as well. Bella, Angela, and Jacob
stopped by a few times. And Brady and Tommy were over all the time…you know,
most people go their whole lives without knowing such good friendship. You were
never invisible, son…you were just afraid to let your light shine, but now…you
couldn't stop it if you tried."

I smiled, "I'm very lucky to have so many good people in my life but you and mom
- 1022 -
were the first. If you hadn't wanted me in the beginning, I wouldn't have anyone, so
thank you."

"You're welcome, son. So, what are you planning for today?"

"Um…not sure yet but Jay wants to check on his dad…"

I could hear his deep sigh, "I figured as much. Hold him off for about an hour and
let me get over there first. If his father relapsed, I don't want any of you near him,
especially Jasper. I'll text you and let you know if it's safe to go over there, okay?"

"Okay, be careful. Are you sure you don't want us to meet you there? I mean, he's
kind of big, dad."

I could hear him scoff, "I'll have you know I held the title in my division in the
Golden Gloves boxing league while I was in college."

"Really?"

My dad was definitely a lover, not a fighter.

Then he laughed, "No, not really. Don't worry about me, son, I can handle myself.
Just don't let him leave until I text you."

"Okay, I won't. Love you, dad."

"Love you too, son."

I slid my phone back into my pocket and opened the back screen door in the
kitchen, just in time to see Jeremiah take off running out the front door mumbling,
"Oh shit…"

Then there was yelling.

"Who the fuck are those dirty bitches? I know they ain't Suzie's friends!"

And that must be Candace.

Jay and Emmett were right behind me as I made it out the front door. Rosalie was
backed against Em's Jeep as Jeremiah stood between her and a very short girl with
her curly brown hair pulled into a ponytail. She was also very pregnant.

- 1023 -
 She seemed to be giving Jeremiah a pretty good fight as she struggled against
him, "Let me go, you cheatin' bastard!"

"Girl, calm the fuck down! You're damn near six months pregnant for Christ sake!
Quit fightin' me!"

Jeremiah finally got his arms wrapped around her from behind, holding them
down as she struggled.

Jay ran past me and went over to her, "Damn, Candace, they're my friends. Now,
you need to seriously calm down 'fore you hurt that baby. Don't make Jeremiah have
to hold you down cuz I know you got better sense than to start fightin' when you're
six months pregnant. All you're doin' is riling that baby up and you're gonna make it
meaner than a rattlesnake if ya don't calm that shit down."

My beautiful boy sure did have a way with words.

She closed her eyes and started taking deep breaths. Jeremiah was whispering in
her ear…I couldn't hear everything he said but eventually she seemed calmer.

Opening her brown eyes, she looked at Jasper and raised an eyebrow, "They're
your friends?"

Jay nodded, "Yeah, this is Emmett and his girlfriend, Rosalie…that's Alice and this
is Edward."

She still seemed suspicious, "So, is Alice, Edward's girlfriend?"

Looking a little nervous, Jay shook his head.

But then she smiled and nodded at me, "Is he your boyfriend?"

Looking even more nervous, Jay nodded.

Then trying to wriggle out of Jeremiah's arms, she giggled, "Let me go, I'm fine
now."

Jeremiah didn't looked convinced and I must admit, I was a little leery myself.

But he did, very slowly remove his arms from around her. When she smiled, she
was very pretty. "Wow, Jay…he's smokin' hot. Way to go."

- 1024 -
 Nodding a quick thanks, Jay still looked nervous and I couldn't understand why
because she seemed to be okay now.

She turned to Alice and started walking over to her. She held out her hand and
smiled, "Hi, I'm Candace."

Letting out a breath she had been holding, Alice took her hand and smiled, "I'm
Alice. It's nice to meet you, Candace."

But Candace seemed to be staring down at Alice's hand as she held it for a
moment. Then her eyes narrowed and raised up to Jeremiah's as she yelled, "Oh my
god! She's got a French manicure! I know how much you love that shit! You fucked
this whore didn't you! I know you did, she's your exact fuckin' type!"

Alice's mouth dropped open and Jeremiah jumped in between them, "Really it ain't
none of your business who I fuck since you broke up with me! You do recall that,
don't ya, baby girl? When you broke up with me! And you really should be glad that
Alice ain't a whore cuz it sure as fuck wasn't me that stopped us…"

Everyone cringed as her jaw dropped.

Emmett leaned over to me and whispered, "Man, that's gotta be the dumbest
thing ever to say to your baby's mama…"

I agreed…I was gay and even I knew better than to say something like that to a
hormonal pregnant woman.

She drew back her fist…she wasn't going to smack him, she was getting ready to
knock his head off.

"You son of a…"

He caught her fist and, once again, held her arms down as his arms wrapped
around her, "I've told you, Candy…quit tryin' to hit me like a god damn man cuz you
ain't one…I would never hit you but you pull that shit with the wrong guy and he's
gonna hurt you. What I wanna know is why the hell you showin' up here now when
I've been callin' you for two mother fuckin' weeks? Why now?"

She huffed and stomped her feet trying to get free…she was very feisty…and a
little scary.

"I just wanted to see is all!"

- 1025 -
 Jeremiah rolled his eyes and let her go. She spun around and glared at him as he
crossed his arms, all traces of humor gone from his face, "Bullshit, Candace. Tell me
the truth cuz I've been beggin' you for weeks to talk to me, to let me take you to
your doctor's appointments…so I wanna know why you're here now."

Finally, she threw her arms up and screamed, "Billy told me you were all holed up
with some prissy ass city girl! You ain't s'posed to find nobody else! You're leavin' in
two days!"

"So, you don't want me but you don't want no one else to want me either. As a
matter of fact, I'm not leavin'. I'm not goin' to boot camp…I don't wanna miss the
first four years of my baby's life…"

Now she rolled her eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm, "How the hell you plannin'
on supportin' this baby? You gonna go crawlin' back to your old job? You think we're
gonna raise this baby on 8 bucks an hour? God knows you ain't a genius but even
you're smart enough to know it ain't enough!"

That caused Suzie to snap, "Bitch, who you callin' dumb? The smartest thang ever
came out your mouth was my brother's dick! Say somethin' mean to him again and I
swear to God, after that baby comes out, I'm whoopin' your mother fuckin' ass…"

Jay stepped between them now as Jeremiah sat down on the porch behind him,
looking so defeated that I had a feeling Suzie may have been right about her. Suzie
and Candace were arguing with my poor baby stuck in the middle.

Then I heard Alice's small voice speak up, "He stayed up all night talking about
you…how you met when you were seven years old and started dating in the seventh
grade…he talked about how crazy it makes him when you push him away…he wants
to be with you and be a family…money isn't everything…"

Candace laughed and rolled her eyes, "That's easy for a rich bitch like you to
say…some of us ain't so lucky to be born with a silver spoon up our ass…"

That couldn't be further from the truth, Alice's money had not come easy.

Jay started to say something but Alice's voice broke through, much stronger this
time as she walked over to Candace, "Actually, my parents were just stoners, old
school hippie types, they owned a little diner…I remember that music was always
playing…they were always dancing and laughing…but when I was ten my dad got
sick…he went in for a minor surgery but someone messed up…they gave him a drug
that he was severely allergic to and he never woke up. My mom got a huge
- 1026 -
settlement and I got yearly installments. After that, my mom decided to go back to
school to take her mind off of my dad. I started seeing her less and less. Then she
started her own clothing business and now she spends 80% of the time out of the
country. I haven't even seen her in over four months so when I tell you that family
and love are more important than money, trust me, I know what I'm talking about
because no matter how much I buy or spend…I lost two people I love and I would
give everything I own to get them back."

Jeremiah's mouth hung open and I guessed that Alice hadn't told him of her past. I
doubted her mother even knew she was in Texas right now.

Then Alice smiled, "So, if you're smart, you'll be a little nicer to him because if you
don't want him, I'll gladly take him off your hands."

She winked at Jeremiah while Jay held Candace back and then she turned to the
Jeep, "Come on, ladies…we've got shopping to do."

Rosalie gave Em a quick kiss and Suzie smiled smugly at Candace before they
both followed Alice and hopped in the Jeep.

Once they were gone, Jay let go of Candace and she just stood there a minute with
her eyes closed, taking deep breaths.

Eventually she opened them and looked over at him, actually appearing to be
remorseful, "I'm sorry, Jeremiah…it's just…I worry about money cuz I remember
what it felt like to get that phone call at 3 o'clock in the mornin' from the
jailhouse…I remember what it felt like sittin' in that courtroom when you were facin'
five years for stealin' cars…you just got off probation…I just worry that if you don't
go to the army, then you're gonna end up in prison, just like Brandon…"

He sighed as he looked up at her, "That ain't gonna happen…and I ain't goin' to

the army…that's what you wanted, not me…so I just need to know two things,
darlin…do you love me and do you wanna try and work shit out between us?"

She spoke quietly, "You know I do, it's just that…"

Interrupting her he shook his head, "We've given my neighbors a good enough
show already…let's go inside cuz we gotta whole lotta shit to talk about…"

Jeremiah told us he'd back in awhile and they went inside to talk. Jay let out a
breath, pulled out a cigarette and mumbled, "Holy shit…it's like the god damn Jerry
Springer show…"
- 1027 -
 I sat down next to him as he sat on the edge of the porch, "What's the Jerry
Springer show?"

That caused him to laugh softly and just shake his head, "It ain't nothin' you need
to worry 'bout, babe."

Just then, my phone chimed and I pulled it out to see a text from my dad saying it
was okay to go now.

"Who's that?"

I shoved my phone back in my pocket and smiled, "It's just my dad. He went over
to check on your dad today and was letting me know that everything's okay."

Jay smiled, "Carlisle went over there to check on my dad?"

Nodding, I looked over into his pretty blue eyes, "Yeah. He wanted to make sure it
was safe for you to go."

Now Em smiled as he sat on the other side of Jay, "Your mom and dad are pretty
amazing, Edward. It's just like…they care about us…all of us and they don't even
really have to. I was having a lot of problems with my dad over the summer and
Carlisle always let me rant about it…and your mom spent a lot of time with Alice and
Rose too. We even got Brady to go fishing with us, me, Peter and your dad. It was
fucking hilarious watching him try and bait the hook!"

That caused me and Jay to both laugh out loud because I could just picture Brady
trying to bait his hook without having to actually touch the bait.

Jay turned his head and looked at Em, "What's goin' on with your dad, man?"

Em just shrugged, "Same old bullshit, man. I've got one year of school left and
he's been pushing me so fucking hard about football and college. I told him I was
gonna go wherever Rose went and he flipped out…he said that it's okay for me to
date Rosalie for now 'cause she's pretty and rich and a cheerleader…but that he
doesn't want me to be so serious with her…that she's not good for my future. He
thinks that I need to concentrate on football more because he has dreams of me
playing on a national level someday. Let's just forget, for a moment, that the chance
of being drafted in the NFL and actually succeeding at it are like one in a
million…but that's not even what I wanna do…I love football, being part of a team
and shit but it's just a game, something I do for fun. I have no fucking clue what I
wanna do after high school but whatever it is, Rose is gonna be there."
- 1028 -
 Jay socked him in the arm and laughed, "Fuck your dad, dude…it's your life…live
it how you wanna live it."

Laughing, Em socked him back, "Dude? You gonna let me live with you when I get
kicked out?"

I couldn't help but chime in, "You could always stay at my house, Em…you know
my mom and dad would love to have you there."

He smiled big enough for me to see the dimple in his cheek, "Yeah, your dad
already told me I'd always have a room at his house…they told Alice and Rose the
same thing…hell, I think they'd adopt us all if that's what we wanted."

Looking down at the grass, I shrugged, "They wanted a bigger family with lots of
kids but I have so many problems that they had to focus all of their attention on me.
Now that I'm able to function on my own a little better, they can spread themselves
around more. I can tell how happy it makes them to just be around all of you…I can
see it my mom's eyes and hear it in my dad's voice. All of you are family and that's
all they ever wanted."

Jay nudged me and smiled, "You're the reason we all started comin' around…you
gave them the family they always wanted so don't feel bad about takin' up all their
time when you were little…"

That made me feel better because my parents wanted a house full of kids and now
they seemed to always have it…because of my friends…but I would never forget that
Jasper had been my lifeline, anchoring me so that I could reach out to other people
and make wonderful friends who have become part of my family.

We could hear yelling again coming from inside the house and Jay jumped up,
"Shit, they're gonna be at it for awhile, let's go on over to my dad's house and check
in…"

He popped his head in the door and yelled, "Goin' to my dad's, be back in a little
while!"

Then he shut the screen door behind him and we started walking.

I noticed that most everybody seemed to know who Jay was because they would
say 'hey' to him as we passed. He'd just do a little head nod and keep on his way.

Once we got to Wayne's house, I noticed that my father's car was still parked out
- 1029 -
front. We climbed the porch and Jay opened the screen door as we followed in
behind him. It looked different than the last time I had seen it, when Jay and I were
leaving. The living room was actually pretty clean and there was a new coffee table.
I also saw some pictures hanging on the wall now.

We could see the kitchen from the living room and my dad and Peter were sitting
at a small kitchen table drinking coffee. Wayne was standing at the sink, pouring
himself a cup and he smiled over at us, "Ya'll want some coffee?"

Jay was taking in the overall improvement of the house as well as he looked
around slowly, "Um…yeah, black, please."

Me and Em said no thank you, so Wayne pulled down another mug and poured Jay
a cup of coffee.

I watched as Jasper cautiously took the cup, raising an eyebrow to his dad, "You
okay, dad?"

Wayne sighed as he stirred the sugar in his mug, "Yeah, I'm alright, son…after I
dropped your granny off, I wanted a drink bad…I ended up at the bar but the
bartender's a good buddy of mine…he wouldn't give me nothin' stronger than a
Pepsi. I ended up callin' Dave, he's my sponsor and I went to one of them meetin's…"

Jasper's face lit up, "You mean an AA meeting?"

Wayne nodded as he looked down at his coffee, "Yeah, I've been goin' for a couple
weeks now…it was late by the time I left so…sorry I didn't come back…"

Jay shrugged as he took a sip of his coffee, "You gotta take care of yourself,
dad…you did the right thing."

My dad spoke up, "So, your dad was telling us about a great place to go
fishing…you know we're leaving tomorrow so maybe we could all go out today,
unless you have other plans?"

Jasper smiled, "We can go fishin' but I gotta go back for Jeremiah."

We all sat around the kitchen and talked a little while. Wayne told Jasper that he
had put in for a new route at work that would take him through Seattle once every
two weeks, he was a truck driver. I could tell that Jasper was really surprised when
his dad suggested they meet for dinner on the days he passed through.

- 1030 -
 We talked a little about Jeremiah and Wayne was hoping he'd come back with us
because he thought he'd have a better chance at making it if he wasn't stuck here.
Then Jasper talked about Suzie and the problems she was having here. Peter said
that he wouldn't mind if she stayed with them as well, but me and Jay would have to
fix up the back room for her. Of course, we agreed. Wayne said he'd talk to her mom
but he had a feeling that she'd agree to it as long as Suzie came home for visits
often.

Eventually, we decided to get ready for our guys day out. Dad and Peter went
back to the hotel to get a few things, saying they'd pick up lunch for us to take to the
lake but that we should go ahead and eat breakfast before we met them back at
Wayne's in an hour.

Walking back into Jeremiah's house, I was met with a wonderful smell…biscuits
and gravy. Candace was gone and Jeremiah was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
Jay smiled and nudged me, "He's a damn good cook…"

I smiled, "It smells incredible…"

We walked into the kitchen and Jeremiah stirring the gravy, "Hey ya'll…it'll be
done in about twenty minutes…"

Jay went out back to smoke a cigarette and Em went to take a shower, leaving me
alone with Jeremiah.

I leaned against the counter across from him and smiled, "Um…need any help?"

He turned around laughing, "Fuck yeah, I need all the help I can get, pretty boy."

Crossing his arms across his chest, he sighed and his smile was gone, "She don't
know what she wants…she says she's scared of rushin' things but maybe we shoulda
thought about that 'fore she got pregnant…half the time she acts like she don't even
want the baby…she said she'd try if I stayed here but she ain't goin' to
Washington…I'm gonna stick around here and try to make things work but…I think I
may be raisin' my son by myself…"

I couldn't help but smile at the mention of 'son', "So, you know you're having a boy
then?"

That brought his smile back, "Yeah, she went to the doctor last week. Holy shit,
man…I'm gonna have a son."

- 1031 -
 I nudged him and gave him a crooked smile, "Congratulations, Jeremiah…I really
hope that things work out between you and Candace if she makes you happy but
even if they don't, you won't have to raise your son all by yourself…you've got
friends and family that are willing to help…"

He gave me a half hearted smile as he turned around and put the biscuits in the
oven. I tried really hard not to look at his ass as he bent over but God help me, I'm
only human and he had a fantastic ass.

Besides, it was okay to appreciate the beauty around me…Brady would be proud.

But I still felt my cheeks heat up when he turned around and almost caught me.

"Wow, the um…food smells really good, Jeremiah…did your mom teach you how to
cook?"

He shook his head, "No, not really…I mean, I learned from a few of her recipe
books and shit but…she got real sick a few years ago…breast cancer…Suzie was
only ten and I was fourteen. Mama got so sick with her chemo that she couldn't even
get outta bed. I got tired of watchin' Suzie eat bologna sandwiches for dinner every
night so I just started tryin' to cook. I sucked at it for awhile but eventually I got
pretty good. I like it…it gives me somethin' else to focus on when life sucks…"

"I'm really sorry, Jeremiah…"

He smiled, "You won't be when you taste my biscuits and gravy."

After breakfast, my dad picked us up at Wayne's house and we all made our way
out to the lake.

The day was spent fishing and eating and chatting and playing around…it was a
perfect day.

The girls returned later and after a long talk with Barb, she agreed to let Suzie
come to Forks. She was thrilled but still very worried about her brother staying
behind.

We ended up staying a couple more days to get everything with Suzie settled and
my mom just had to go out baby shopping for Jeremiah.

He was floored when she brought in bag after bag full of bibs, clothes, diapers,
bottles…she even bought him a small crib that he could keep in his room until he
- 1032 -
could get a place of his own.

She was so excited about the bedding set she found with cowboys and pick up
trucks all over it.

Alice bought the baby a little t-shirt that said, "If you think I'm cute, you should
see my dad."

She advised him not to tell Candace it was from her.

It was hard saying good bye to everyone and Suzie cried and almost stayed when
she thought about not seeing her nephew as soon as he was born…but my parents
assured her that we'd fly out as soon as Candace was admitted to the hospital so she
wouldn't miss anything.

As Jasper and I held hands in the back seat of my dad's SUV, I fell asleep, having
been exhausted from a summer full of new experiences…some bad but mostly
good…

And my dreams weren't haunted with memories of my past…they were filled with
hope for a future full of family and full of love.

- 1033 -
 Chapter 49

This chapter was originally an April Fools Day joke so I have moved it to
the Lessons Learned Extras on my profile. So if you're interested in reading
about just how dirty Brady's dreams are, check it out. (Boy orgy)

Thanks for reading, you guys are the best!

- 1034 -
 Chapter 50

Hello out there! We're coming down to the wire guys. One more chapter
after this and then an epilogue. I wanna thank you guys again for sticking
with me and my boys.

Also, I have a story rec! It's called "Something Wicked This Way Come," by
lilgent84. Here's the synopsis, 'Edward and Alice find out they come from a
long line of powerful witches. Will they be able to master all the magical
elements to protect themselves from oncoming danger? And what happens
when a Masen witch falls in love with a Cullen Vampire? Edward/Jasp'

Now I love me a good supernatural story and though it's only two chapters
in so far, he writes wonderfully and is setting the story up so well that I'm
super excited to see where he takes it. Oh, and it has an adorable first
meeting for AwkWard and VampSper. It's in my Favorites so check it out and
leave him some love.

I also wanna say a quick thanks to my girl, Maria, for reading my stuff and
shooting around ideas with me.

One last thing, I have pictures of my Brady and Jeremiah posted on my

Facebook if you're interested. The link is on my profile.

Enjoy!

You're The One by The Black Keys

Jay's POV

I ain't never been so happy in my whole damn life to see the dark rainy sky…this
was better than the warm Texas sun any day.

It was getting late by the time we got back so everyone decided to crash at the
Cullen's house for the night. Me and Eddie were gonna get started on Suzie's room
tomorrow and Esme was gonna take her shopping for some winter clothes.

Suzie had no idea what she was in for when winter hit.

Carlisle told us to call Brady and Tommy to see if they wanted to stay the night too

- 1035 -
so we could catch up on everything. I was a little relieved when Tommy declined but
couldn't wait to see Brady again.

He practically jumped in my arms, going a hundred miles a minute about how

happy he was that I was staying here and how he had been so worried he was never
gonna see me again. I had been worried too…I woulda missed the crazy little fucker.

So the girls stayed in my old room and all us guys slept in Edward's room. It was
the last night that we'd get to sleep in the same bed…well, I'd probably just sneak
over on the weekend but still, I held my boy close, falling asleep really, really happy
and content.

The next day, we went back to Peter's house and got settled in. Brady and Tommy
had kept up on Charlotte's garden while we were gone and Peter was anxious to go
sit outside and watch over it. I worried about him but I understood when he said it
made him feel closer to her because she started that garden when they first got
married and he remembered all the years of her toiling around it, proud as could be
when she finally got it just the way she wanted.

It really was beautiful, with bright colored flowers everywhere and stone benches
to sit on.

Edward and I got started on cleaning out the back room. There was some old
bedroom furniture in it so once the room was cleared out, we started cleaning the
dresser and chest. As I was polishing the old wood, I heard Brady and Em come in.

Em was carrying two buckets of paint and Brady was bouncing with excitement,
"Hey guys, we found some old paint lying around that we thought Suzie might like
for her room."

I quirked an eyebrow at the two unopened cans, "You found two unused cans of
butter cream paint just lying around?"

Em just shrugged with a grin on his face and Brady smiled, "We thought it would
be nice for her…she said last night that yellow was her favorite color and we
thought it might help remind her of the sun, since she'll hardly ever see it here."

My friends were really something.

Emmett helped me paint while Edward and Brady went to work on the rest of the
house, cleaning and then making us all lunch.

- 1036 -
 Peter had told us that this was our home now too and it really felt like one. We all
sat on the back porch and ate lunch with him as we talked and laughed…it seemed
to really help him and for awhile, the old Peter was back.

When the girls all came back, Suzie actually started crying when she saw her
room. Esme had bought her a new satin comforter with little yellow and pink flowers
all over it and it matched perfectly. And Peter had us put a few vases of wildflowers
in her room because he said that women always loved flowers. I added a few daisies
cuz I knew they were her favorite.

Esme and Rose cooked dinner later that night and Carlisle joined us after he got
off work. We all sat around again on the porch as we ate, since the kitchen wasn't
really big enough to hold us all.

Carlisle gave me instructions about Peter's medication and let me know to call
him if I had any questions or saw anything I was concerned about.

After everyone cleared out, me and Suzie finished the dishes and I took out the
trash. Once Peter was asleep for the night, I stepped out on the back porch for a
smoke when she came shuffling out in her fuzzy yellow slippers, "Hey Jay…it sure is
pretty out here, huh?"

She leaned out over the rail and looked out to the garden, breathing deeply with a
huge grin.

I smiled back, "Yeah, it's beautiful."

Giggling, she raised an eyebrow and her dimples were deep, "Is this how it is all
the time? I mean, is everyone always around and helpin' each other out and stuff?"

Nodding, I shrugged, "Yeah, we're a family."

She bit her lip and looked out to the garden again, "I wish bubby was here. I've
only been here one day and I already feel like part of the family…like special and
stuff…it's really kinda awesome."

Nudging into her, I laughed, "You are family, Suzie Q."

She rolled her eyes and smiled, "You know what I mean…I love our family, I
do…but this feels different…like, normal…like how it's s'posed to be. Mama tried,
God knows she did, but things were always so hard…never enough money or one of
us was always gettin' in trouble…when she got sick and bubby started takin' care of
- 1037 -
me, it was the most normal I ever felt cuz dinner was on the table every night, no
matter how bad it was in the beginnin' and he helped me with my homework
after…it was, like, our routine…he's gonna be a good daddy…I just hope Candace
don't mess his head up too bad…"

She was still really worried about her brother. For a long time, they only had each
other so being away from him was really hard on her. I wasn't her bubby but I loved
her like a little sister, so I put my arm around her and she buried her face in my
chest, "Don't you worry about Jeremiah, darlin'…he can take care of himself and
you're gonna see him at Thanksgiving…maybe sooner if that baby comes…"

We talked for awhile longer and she was a bundle of nerves about school
wondering if she'd be able to keep up. I knew she could if she tried.

I told her to take my room for the night so the paint could set and I took the
couch.

I was starting to drowse off watching Scarface on TNT and giggling every time
they dubbed out the cuss words with somethin' crazy. My phone vibrated on the
coffee table and I smiled as I picked it up, "Hey babe…"

"Hey Jay…I just wanted to tell you I love you before I went to sleep…"

Warmth washed over me as I curled into my pillow, "Love you too, Eddie. It's
gonna be hard sleepin' without you…"

He sighed, "I know…I miss lying next to you…hearing your heart beat…but I'll see
you tomorrow, right?"

Smiling like a dumb ass, I whispered, "You're gonna see me every day for the rest
of your life, baby boy…"

And for the first tine, I knew I was telling him the truth…it felt great to no longer
have that dark cloud of gloom lurking overhead anymore. Other people may see
those dark skies when they look up, but I'm blinded by an eclipse…all I can see is
sunshine in my life now.

"Promise?"

I smiled as I listened to his pretty voice, knowing that if I needed him or he

needed me, we weren't far away, "I swear, Eddie."

- 1038 -
 We talked for a few minutes longer before finally saying goodnight. I fell asleep
easily and with a smile on my face.

The next day, Emmett and Tommy came over to hang out with Peter so Edward
and I went over to Jacob's house to see him and Bella. Suzie was gonna go with us so
we could introduce her.

I decided to try and get along with Tommy, for Em and Edward's sakes, so I
offered him a cup of coffee. He smiled sheepishly as he took the mug and mumbled,
"Thanks."

I felt awkward but pushed it aside, as I cleared my throat, "Hey, um…thanks for
takin' care of Charlotte's garden and watchin' out for Peter."

He sighed as he sat down at the small kitchen table, "You don't have to thank
me…I like Peter…"

Then he chuckled a little, "He calls me Elmo…"

That caused me to laugh as I leaned against the kitchen counter, "Elmo?"

Raising his bright aqua eyes up to mine and rolling them, he smiled, "He heard
Brady telling me to quit being so emo…Peter thought he said elmo…"

I couldn't help but chuckle as Peter came walking into the kitchen, rustling up
Tommy's hair as he smiled, "Mornin' Elmo, you boys ready to go fishin'?"

I think it was a good thing that me and Tommy may not particularly like each
other, but we were both big enough to be civil with one another cuz sometimes you
just gotta deal.

Peter, Em, and Tommy left shortly after and Edward picked me and Suzie up. It
was nice to see Jacob and Bella again, and of course, Brady was there too. It kind of
stung though, to hear that Jacob was still hanging out with the homophobic Rez boys
that I once considered my friends. He said that he didn't agree with them but that
they had all been friends since they were babies and he couldn't just cut them out
completely.

It hurt me a little but it hurt Brady worse, being his cousin and all. But, again,
sometimes you just gotta deal.

The last week of summer flew by way too fast and I was well aware that our little
- 1039 -
slice of Heaven would quickly be turning into the hell known as high school. Edward
and I had spent some time preparing for our return cuz we knew it was gonna be
ugly. We'd have our friends, of course, but after Edward's stay in the hospital and
my being shipped off to Texas and then rescued by Eddie, the other kids at school
were guaranteed to be brutal.

But we decided that we were just gonna face it head on together and not let the
mother fuckers who hated on us, bring us down. We were stronger than any stupid
high school bullshit and it was gonna be tough, but not impossible to stay level
headed.

Peter sat me down, though, the night before school started and gave me some
advice that I was gonna try hard as hell to follow…

"Remember this, son…it only takes about fifteen seconds to do somethin' that
can't be undone…so when somebody does somethin' that pisses you off…just stop
and take fifteen seconds to think 'fore you react. Life is 10% what happens to you
and 90% how you react. Fifteen seconds can land you in the principal's office, or
expelled from school or even in prison, just ask your cousin Brandon, I'm sure he'll
tell ya the same thing. So, I need you to try and keep your head about you, boy, cuz
you're livin' under my roof now and I expect just a few things from you…good
grades, good behavior, and honesty. You've been given a second chance to do shit
right…so don't fuck it up…"

He gave me a wink as he slowly stood up and I smiled, "I won't mess up again,
Peter…but can I ask for somethin' from you?"

Smirking he leaned on his walker, "You can ask…"

"Just promise me that you'll let me know if you need anything…I mean, even if it's
just to talk…"

He slowly nodded and gave me a soft smile, "I will. Now don't stay up too late, I'm
gonna go have a talk with Suzie 'fore she goes to bed. Remember, boy, peaks and
valleys…I hope you're ready for that push down into the valley cuz you're gonna
have to be tough to reach that next peak. But just keep on pushin' cuz I promise ya,
it's gonna get better. Night, son."

"Night, Peter."

But now as me and Eddie pulled into the parking lot, I could feel the panic rolling
off of him in waves. So I slipped my hand into my backpack and then reached over,
- 1040 -
taking his sweaty palm and placing a packet of honey in it as I grinned, "Think
happy thoughts, darlin."

Suzie giggled in the back seat and Eddie smiled as he tore open the packet and
began sucking on it…which wasn't helping the situation in my jeans any.

"Thanks, Jay…I love honey…oh, and you too…"

My little pooh bear…the boy was just too damn cute.

"You ready, Eddie?"

He nodded as he licked the last of the honey from his cherry lips, "Yeah, let's get
this over with…and remember, Jay, if someone insults me, let me handle it…I love
you but I need to fight my own battles and you need to keep your nose clean
because I will not risk losing you again so ,here, you're my best friend and my
boyfriend…not my hero…"

Peter's words wrung in my ears and I simply nodded, "Yeah, babe…but ya know I
got your back…"

His lips turned up into the crooked smile as he whispered, "And maybe if you're a
good boy this week, you'll get to have my back this weekend again in the Volvo…or
the truck…"

Fuck yeah I was gonna be good…

Cuz Peter had given me his old truck so I wouldn't have to break into the money
granny left me to get a car and we hadn't christened that sucker properly yet.

We were both feeling better once we actually left the car but our blissful little
bubble didn't last long. It started with staring in the parking lot…and then
whispering in the hallways…and by the time we made it to our lockers, there was
straight out laughing and snide remarks like, "Homos" and "Crazy" flying around all
over the place.

And then Newton walked by with Eric, "Too bad the fag can't even kill himself
right…they never should have let him outta the nuthouse!"

The boys broke out into laughter and I had to close my eyes and count to fifteen
cuz if I looked at my baby boy right now, it would only take me ten mother fuckin'
seconds to go to prison cuz I would snap those bastards necks…
- 1041 -
 God, it physically hurt to restrain myself but then I heard Edward's voice,
sounding kinda bored, "Newton, it's a well known fact that these two fags have both
already beaten the shit out of you…"

I opened my eyes and saw Eddie turn around after putting some books in his
locker, to face the boys without an ounce of fear in him, "So, if I were you, I wouldn't
taunt the 'crazy' boy…"

Newton noticeably gulped and Edward broke out into a sweet crooked smile,
"Because I could lose it at any moment and go psycho fairy on your ass, painting
your toe nails glittery pink and color coordinating your outfit so that you actually
match for a change…"

I couldn't stop the laughter as I watched Newton's face screw up in horror before
Eric started dragging him away, mumbling about crazy gay people.

Looking over at me sheepishly, I held out my fist and smiled, "Nice, Eddie."

He bumped it back and nodded, "Thanks, Jay."

The rest of the day passed pretty uneventful except for the occasional snicker or
taunt but we just did our best to ignore them. I was still in the regular classes so I
had a couple classes with Tommy and Suzie but Brady and Edward were in the
advanced classes. However, I had talked with Mrs. Cope before the school year
started and the teachers agreed that if I excelled in my classes during the first
semester and didn't have any disciplinary problems, then they would let me try out
the advanced classes next semester. So I just stayed as focused as I could on what I
was learning and not what the other kids were saying.

With Emmett, Alice, and Rose being seniors, we really only got to see them during
lunch but it was kinda obvious that people were shunning them too by the looks and
whispers of the older kids that passed our table.

Brady sighed as he played with the straw in his milk, "Um…do you guys want us to
sit at another table so they'll leave you alone?"

Emmett spoke with a mouth full of pizza, "Fuck 'em!"

A group of guys with their arms strategically placed around their girlfriends,
walked by and coughed while laughing, "Fags!" Alice just smirked at Rose and
raised an eyebrow. Rose nodded and the next thing I know, those two girls are lip
locked.
- 1042 -
 An audible gasp came from the onlookers and then the guys were adjusting their
jeans and cat calling.

When the kiss ended, Alice smiled and stood to face the group of guys that had
been watching, "So, you're okay with a little lesbian action but gay guys are gross,
right?"

The jerks at least had the decency to be a little red faced but they still answered
with cocky arrogance, "Lesbians are hot, fags are nasty."

She returned the confidence as she smirked, "Just imagine this, boys…as hot as
you think lesbians are, there are many, many women who think a little boy on boy
action is hot too…so when you're all sweaty in the backseat of a car, fumbling with
the bra strap, there's a very good chance that the girl underneath you, has thought
about those two boys making out and is using it as a way to get hot enough to
actually want to do it with you."

She turned her nose up and sat back down as we all broke out into laughter. The
guys still snickered and walked away but not before calling Alice a dyke.

Of course, she just rolled her eyes and kindly told them to fuck off but by the look
in Rosie's eyes I could tell that she wasn't gonna let that shit go.

She flashed Alice an evil little grin before standing and walking over to the merry
clan of assholes. We watched as she started talking to one of the dickheads
girlfriend, a bright excited smile breaking across the young girl's face as she handed
Rose her phone. A moment later, she was smirking as she held it up for the
boyfriend to see something on the screen. Then she smiled at the girl and handed
the phone back before saying something then walking back to us.

When she sat down, Alice snickered, "Oh Rosalie, Mistress of Doom, what did you
do?"

Rose just shrugged, "That girl, her name is Aimee and she tried out for the squad
last year but didn't make it. Anyway, I told her about Hannah breaking her ankle last
week and that we needed a replacement. So when she gave me her phone, so I could
give her my number and setup a time to try out, I happened to glance through her
saved videos and low and behold, there was the one of Eddie and Jay making out
that got passed around last year. I showed it to her boyfriend and told her that if she
dumped the prick then she would get my vote, which is really all she needs since I'm
head cheerleader."

- 1043 -
 That was just one of the reasons I loved Rose…she was an evil bitch but it suited
me just fine.

Edward's face shot up in flames, "People actually saved those?"

Alice munched on a carrot as she pulled out her phone and showed it to us, the
image right there of me kissing my boy senseless on the roof of the car while the
rain poured down, "Yep, I saved it."

I laughed and Edward looked even more embarrassed as Rose shrugged, "Yeah
me too."

Then Brady's cheeks tinted as he looked down at his half eaten pizza, "Um,
yeah…me too."

Em held his hands up and shook his head, "Not me, dude."

Tommy sighed, "Me neither."

Suzie giggled as she and Alice watched the video, "Ya'll are just too damn cute!"

Edward laughed with rosy red cheeks, "God, my friends are pervs."

Smiling, I finally started eating and shrugged, "I dunno, I think it's kinda
flattering. And you're a perv a too, must've gotten it from that fine ass daddy of
yours…"

His whole face was on fire now and I couldn't help but fuck with him cuz…I dunno,
that shit was fun to me sometimes and he knew it didn't mean anything.

I just loved that cute blush.

Now Brady started laughing, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind playing doctor with him…"

Then Rose, "I know, right! He's freaking gorgeous!"

Tommy smiled, "Yeah he's really nice too."

Alice smiled sympathetically and put her tiny hand on Edward's shoulder,
"Seriously, Edward…your dad is hot. Really, really hot…"

I didn't think Edward could get any redder than he was without popping a blood
- 1044 -
vessel…but I wrong cuz then Em held his hands up again and smiled, "I don't think
your dad's hot, dude…but now your mom, she's badass…"

Alice held out her fist for Em to bump, "I'll second that one, big boy…"

He bumped her fist as they all broke into laughter. I put my hand on my baby
boy's shoulders and squeezed, "Alright, let's quit pickin' on Eddie…"

But then he looked up at me and smirked with red cheeks, "It's okay, Jay…I mean,
your cousin Jeremiah is one fine ass cowboy…"

Rosalie, Alice, and Brady quickly agreed while Suzie rolled her eyes and I just
shrugged with a cocky smile right back, "Yeah, he's a Whitlock…we're good lookin'
mother fuckers, that's like our shit…"

When the school day finally ended, I breathed a sigh of relief cuz yeah it sucked,
but it could've been worse.

For a few weeks, things sucked but they were manageable as long as we all stuck
together as much as possible. I kept focused on my studies and makin' out with
Eddie as much as possible to relieve stress cuz lately football hadn't been as
therapeutic. A bunch of the guys started singling me out in every damn practice, and
I was getting thrown to the ground and stomped by three or four guys who "forgot"
to run the right play.

Em would bitch to the coach about them blowing their blocks to gang up on me
and they would get seated on the bench for a couple plays but then they'd come
back and do the same thing again.

But really, those assholes did me a favor cuz by the time the games rolled around
on Friday night, I had so much venom that I was seein' red and ready to tear some
fuckers heads off. So I focused all my anger into the game and I currently held the
school record for most sacks in a single game.

Edward finally tried out for the track team and made it. I didn't know much about
track but I loved watching his strong thighs flex as he ran and I'm not gonna lie, his
ass looked fuckin' great in those little blue shorts.

He didn't have the same kinda resistance on the track team that I had on the
football team so I was grateful for that.

After a month or so of being the hottest topic of gossip, other kids started doing
- 1045 -
stupid shit, like getting wasted at parties and throwing up on Chief Swan, or getting
caught cheating with their best friend's girl or boy…eventually, the shit about us
died down and fell to the bottom on the list of scandalous behavior by the teens of
Forks, Washington.

And then things were strangely…normal.

Edward and me alternated between him picking me and Suzie up in the mornings,
or me and Suzie would pick him up and we'd ride in together. We'd all meet up in
the parkin' lot and chill for a few minutes before we went our separate ways. Em
and Rose always stuck with Alice and either me, Edward or Suzie always stuck with
Brady. Those two were the smallest of the group, but also had the biggest mouths
and a flair for the dramatic so they tended to get picked on a little worse than the
rest of us.

But that flair landed them both in the drama club and Ali got the starring role in
the fall program, "David and Lisa." And she was excellent as the hauntingly
charming but disturbed young girl. Brady was a costume designer and he did a great
job too cuz everything looked so authentic, they were both very talented.

Rose just fell into her Ice Queen mode at school, really earning her Mistress of
Doom title, making sure that any girl who threatened to take her throne gets a royal
kick in the ass. She had always been one to rule with fear so the insults and taunts
only added fuel to her fire. She's been teaching her bitchy secrets to Suzie so that
she can take over the role of "the don't-fuck-with-me bitch," when Rose graduates.
Rosie tried to get her to try out for cheerleading but Suzie said that wasn't really her
thing…she said she was gonna join the softball team instead cuz her with a baseball
bat was way scarier than her with some pom poms.

I agreed, and I was thankful that she wouldn't be wearin' them short ass
cheerleadin' skirts to school. Though that skin tight baseball uniform would still
earn more than a decent amount of hootin' and hollerin' from the assholes at school
but I was proud cuz she had been a real good girl so far, tellin' all the douche bags
that asked her out that she didn't really wanna date right now. She preferred to
spend her extra time with the horses, Smokie and Augie or her girlfriends, mainly
Brady.

They had gotten pretty close, having a sleepover once a month with a few of their
friends…she said that he was officially in the circle of love amongst the girls and
they all could offer him a certain amount of protection.

She was like the teenage Godfather…I was pretty proud.

- 1046 -
 Me and my mom had started writing each other and my dad actually kept his word
about meetin' up with me every couple of weeks for dinner. We'd meet at a diner in
Seattle and talk for a couple hours. He filled me in on how much Candace and
Jeremiah were struggling right now. I talked to Jeremiah every few days but he'd
always just make jokes and try to keep the discussion light any time I asked how he
was doin'. He was workin' and they were renting a little half double. Candace was
due right around Thanksgiving, so it would be any day now. And Jeremiah might've
been struggling but he was damn excited about his son coming.

And I'd tell dad about school and football. He said he'd try to make a game before
the season ended and I kinda hoped he would. But, of course, things weren't perfect
between us and there had been a few times when our smart ass mouths would get
the best of us if a sensitive subject was touched on. Like how he kept askin' me if I
was sure I was gay at every dinner we had, just swearin' that maybe I was too young
to decide somethin' like that…

I hated that he thought it was some kinda choice I made, like I was just lying there
in bed one day and thought, hmm…I think I'll like boys cuz I wanna get picked on
and I'll have to be tougher cuz people are bigoted assholes, even the people who are
supposed to just love you unconditionally no matter what you are…

Yeah that sounds like so much fun.

People who think this shit is a choice, are just fuckin' stupid.

After a couple of heated arguments and a warning from the manager of the
restaurant, he finally dropped the subject and we tried our best to just separate for a
few minutes to calm down when things started to get out of hand.

Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't but I still felt like even if things weren't
perfect…they were better than they were before so it seemed like we were making
progress.

And the Doc always said that was the most important thing in life…to just keep
progressing…keep growing and learning…

Edward had been seeing a new Doc since we got back cuz Doc Greene said he was
just too close to us to be dissociated anymore. So he referred Edward to a colleague
of his and I decided that I didn't need therapy anymore. As long as I had someone to
vent to every now and then, I was good. And I always had Eddie…and a lot of other
people too.

- 1047 -
 He had been seeing his new therapist once a week since the beginning of school
but they finally lessened it to twice a month now. He had been doing surprisingly
well since school started, only having a few nightmares but not winding up in the
shower because of them. We had our moments though when we were quicker to
snap at each other when our daily frustrations became overwhelming…like the day
after his first nightmare when I asked him what was wrong cuz he had dark circles
underneath his pretty green eyes and he mumbled that he just didn't sleep well.

I asked him if he had a nightmare and he blew…

"Yes, Jasper! I had a fucking nightmare! Just like before, nothing has changed and
I really don't need another stupid 'everything is going to be okay' speech cause it's
all bullshit!"

I sat there shocked while he jumped out of the Volvo and slammed the door,
stomping into school without me.

It hurt but I gave him some space until he came to me at lunchtime, asking if I
would sit outside with him so we could talk.

Of course I did. He apologized for yelling at me and confessed that the nightmare
hadn't been as bad as the ones before but it scared him because he thought he was
making real improvement and this seemed like a setback.

I reached underneath the table and grabbed his hand, it was already chilly outside
so there weren't many people out but we had been trying to watch our public
displays of affection, not wanting to draw more heat than we already had.

Looking into his pretty green eyes, I sighed, "Eddie, you know that it's not gonna
disappear overnight…it's gonna take a lot of time and work and even then, the
nightmares may not ever stop completely. But just remember, darlin…they're only
dreams and those demons can't hurt you anymore. And you are doin' a lot better,
baby…so anytime you need to holler your pretty little head off, you can holler at me
cuz you're fuckin' sexy when you're pissed…"

I grinned and he giggled and all was right with the world again.

Or as right as the world could get, I guess.

He was always there for me when I lost it too, like the time after one of my many
beat downs by my teammates…

- 1048 -
 I was icing down my shoulder in the locker room after practice, my body was
black and blue but all I wanted to do was just hit something so I stayed after and
beat the shit out of the heavyweight bag.

Everyone else had gone but Edward found me and gasped when he saw my
bruised back and shoulders, quickly coming over to help take care of me.

But I was still fuming with the need to hit something so badly and not wanting to
feel his comforting touch cuz I knew that it would calm me down, I flinched and
shrugged his hand off as I huffed, "I'm a god damn man, Edward, I don't need your
fucking help!"

Hurt washed across his face quickly but soon it was replaced with a look of stone
as he raised his chin defiantly, "What's wrong, Jay? You want to fight?"

I growled as I hit the lockers in front of me, "Fuck yeah I wanna fight! I wanna rip
those fuckers god damn head off but I can't! No, I gotta be good and not get in no
fights so now those sons of bitches think they can just push me around like a god
damn pussy! I'm so god damn sick of this shit! I'm gonna fuckin' lose it and kill some
fuckin' body if I keep holdin' this shit back!"

I was pullin' at my hair when he threw his shirt to the ground and screamed out
with emerald eyes, "Fine, Jay! You want to fight? Then let me get the baby oil out of
my backpack and we'll fight!"

His words stopped me cold and I chuckled as he shuffled through his backpack,
pulling out a travel size bottle of baby oil.

Now I couldn't stop the grin that came to my face, "You carry baby oil in your
backpack?"

Holding it up with a sexy crooked smile, he slowly walked over until he was right
in front of me. Trailing his soft fingertips down the center of my stomach, he shot a
look to a bathroom stall before smiling up at me, "What can I say? I have this super
hot boyfriend who's kind of like a boy scout…I mean, soldier, and he taught me to
always be prepared. So if you still want to fight, how about we lock ourselves in that
stall and you can try to fight me off?"

A minute later, our pants were around our ankles and our baby oil slicked hands
were jerking each other off in a frenzy. We pushed each other against the walls and
pulled one another closer as we stumbled frantically to release.

- 1049 -
 And when it came, the weight of the world went with it and I felt so damn good.
All that frustration had melted away cuz in the world of the teenage boy, sex
trumped anger…every time.

But that was like a month ago and now things were going pretty good. We had
fallen into a routine of going out on Saturday night, either alone or with our friends,
but then we always spent at least our last two hours alone…usually making out at
my house after Peter went to bed or fuckin' in the truck or Volvo.

And it was Saturday night now, Thanksgiving break had just started. Candace had
been in labor for ten hours already and we were set to fly out to Texas on Monday
and spend a few days to see the baby.

It was already dark when I got to Edward's house for our date. We hadn't seen
each other all day cuz me and Em had gone paintballin' with a few of the guys on the
team that weren't dicks and Edward had went shopping with Brady and Suzie for
some gifts for the baby. I went in and talked to Carlisle and Esme for a little bit
while I waited for my boy. He had a 1 am curfew and it was already nine o'clock so I
was anxious to get outta there.

Esme was slicing an apple and I was munching on a piece when Edward came
rushing into the kitchen, "Sorry for making you wait, Jay. Are you ready?"

I looked up and damn near choked on the apple when I saw Eddie wearin' a pair of
tight black jeans distressed with a bronze color and a matching equally tight
chocolate t-shirt.

I fuckin' loved that color on him cuz it looked so damn good with his pale skin and
red lips and bronze hair…and the tightness of the denim on his ass and thighs and
the shirt that stretched across his newly forming six pack had struck me stupid cuz
the next thing I know, Carlisle is handing me a glass of water and smirking at me.

"Are you okay, son? You've been standing there with your mouth hanging open…"

I snapped my jaw shut and dropped my eyes from Edward's package, finally aware
that his mom and dad were standing right here, watching me eye fuck their only
child.

I had the decency to blush as I thanked Carlisle for the water and quickly gulped it
down, trying to catch my breath again.

When I regained composure, I looked back up at Edward who was blushing just as
- 1050 -
hard as I was, "You look really nice, Eddie."

Raising those pretty green eyes to mine, he smiled and spoke softly, "Thanks, Jay."

We rushed outta there pretty damn fast to avoid further embarrassment on my

part. When we went back to my house, Suzie and Brady were curled up on the couch
with a bowl of popcorn and in pajamas complete with fuzzy slippers, hers were
yellow…his were rainbow.

I was kinda bummed cuz havin' company meant that it was gonna be harder to
talk Edward into letting me fuck him in my bedroom. But I was never one to turn
down a challenge.

They were watching Grease and apparently taking turns singing the Olivia
Newton-John songs, cuz according to Brady, she had all the good parts.

I had been itchin' to get my boy alone for days now so I just smiled, "Hey um, is
Peter asleep yet?"

Suzie raised an eyebrow and grinned, "Why yes he is, Jay…his hearing aid is
charging and he took his pills 'fore he went to bed so he'll be out for the rest of the
night."

Letting out a sigh of relief, I shuffled Edward along, "We're goin' to my room…"

Edward's cheeks were pink as he mumbled, "To, um…study…"

Brady giggled, "How about a group study session then, Edward?"

Now Eddie smiled back at him from over my shoulder, "In your dreams, Brady."

His face lit up as he looked at Suzie, "Ooohh, let's go look at 80's pop videos on
you tube…I have a sudden need to hear Debbie Gibson's, 'Only In My Dreams'…"

They took off to her room as I finally pushed Edward through my door and shut
and locked it behind me.

I decided that the direct approach was best cuz Eddie was pretty good at seein'
through my bullshit.

"Eddie, Peter ain't wakin' up tonight and Suzie and Brady won't hear a thing…I'll
turn on some music and we can be really, really quiet but I need you, baby. So
- 1051 -
please…please, let me fuck…"

Apparently, he needed it as bad as I did cuz he pulled out his phone, nodding as
he whispered, "Turn on some music, I'm setting my alarm for 12:15 just in case, I
fall asleep afterwards…"

The Black Keys played in the background as we stripped each other down. I
couldn't wait to peel those damn jeans off of him and when I did, I was rewarded
with a sexy pair of tight black briefs. I groaned and smiled up at him, "Did Brady
take you shopping?"

He blushed and nodded, "Um, yeah…you don't think I look…stupid?"

Shaking my head, I drug them down his legs and started peppering kisses along
the newly exposed flesh, "Fuck no…you look so god damn hot, baby boy…"

Once we were both stripped bare, we crawled underneath my blanket, our lips
and hands never stopping. We took our time, since we had a few hours, and worked
each other over leisurely…relishing the slow torture of really working for our
release.

It was no longer an exploration of each other's bodies cuz we were now in familiar
territory…we were at home in each other's bodies as much as we were our own.

So, I knew the route I was taking as I slid down his chest, licking and nipping my
way along his lean stomach and relishing the feel of it clenching underneath my
tongue.

I know my boy liked hard, deep, fast head but given that we had to be quiet, I took
it slow. Placing wet kisses along his thighs and pelvic bone, I teased him first as I
licked and sucked all around his cock as it pulsed and leaked for attention.

Then getting my fingers good and wet, I pressed one inside as I took him deep
down my throat. He grabbed my pillow and pulled it over his head, letting out a gasp
and moaning like crazy as he pushed against my finger, silently telling me he
wanted more. So I deep throated his dick while I finger fucked his ass and he was
grinding against my fingers and alternating between fisting my curls and fisting the
sheet beneath him.

Finally, he threw the pillow to the ground and looked down at me through hazy
green eyes and flushed cheeks, pretty bronze hair stickin' up all over the damn
place, whispering through labored breaths, "Oh God Jay…I'm gonna cum so fucking
- 1052 -
hard, baby…"

And he did moments later, so I swallowed everything he gave me and I was so god
damn worked up now that I didn't even give him time to recover before I stood up on
my knees, coated my cock and his ass with lube, and started pushing my way inside
his tight hole.

He gasped again and I quickly leaned forward, capturing his lips and swallowing
his moans now too. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer as his
fingers twisted in my curls. I had his knees draped over my forearms and I held his
legs wide apart as I kissed him slow and fucked him with deep, long strokes…and it
took all I had not to fuck him hard into the mattress but we had to be quiet. I was
really thankful for his track team cuz he was pretty damn flexible now.

But Eddie and I never stay in one position for too long and soon I was on my back
as the boy rode me, slow and deep, his cock now stiff again and trapped between
our stomachs as his lips never left mine.

My hands were on his ass and my heels dug into the bed as I pushed up into him
while pulling him down onto me. I loved the way I could feel his body stretching
around my cock…his body fit mine like a glove…like we were made for each other.

There was no doubt in my mind that we were.

So when our release finally came and we were lying in my bed, sticky and sweaty,
still recovering in the blissful aftermath…I took the opportunity to enjoy the familiar
feeling of having him in my arms, naked and fully sated, and wishin' like hell that he
didn't have to leave in an hour.

But it was okay cuz I'd see him again tomorrow…and the day after that…and the
day after that…

The moonlight crept in through the window and illuminated his sweet face as he
lay sleeping, curled up on my chest while I played with the hair at the nape of his
neck.

As crazy as it was, this was probably one of my favorite things to do…lie in bed
with my baby boy, him sleeping peacefully wrapped around me and my whole body
too weak from our lovemaking to feel any pain or stress…this was my Heaven.

Because our lives weren't always easy but being together always was…and even if
our reality's weren't perfect, I had this little piece of paradise to hold onto and it
- 1053 -
made all the stupid bullshit in my life, totally worth it.

It seemed like no time till we were down in Texas and I was watchin' my cousin
glow like I had never seen before as he held his little boy.

Jeremiah Jr., or JJ as we dubbed him, looked just like his daddy and I smiled as
Eddie whispered, "It's insane how strong your family's genes are…"

Carlisle, Esme, and Suzie were here with us and Em, Brady, and Tommy were
gonna take turns spending the night with Peter while we were gone cuz he felt a
little too worn down for the trip.

Candace ended up having a C-section so still had to stay another night in the
hospital. So, me, Eddie, and Suzie stayed at his house with him the night before he
brought JJ home.

They're double was small but it was clean and Jeremiah had totally pimped out JJ's
room. It was the only one in the house that was fully decorated with painted blue
walls and matching curtains to the pickup truck bedspread Esme had bought him,
he said his mama had made them since they couldn't afford to buy nice ones.

He had pictures of all the family on the walls and an old rocking chair in the
corner that he had sanded and stained, next to a small hand painted book shelf that
he found at a yard sale and redone.

He was working third shift at a little warehouse outside of town and he seemed to
like it alright. Candace and him had been arguing a lot but he hoped it would ease
down now that JJ was finally here.

We stayed the week and Esme and Aunt Barb pitched in on Thanksgiving dinner,
Esme doin' her cookin' at my daddy's house.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched Edward lay on a blanket in the middle of the
floor next to JJ. He was lying on his side, smiling at the baby as he brushed his soft
fingertips over JJ's hair and face, and then he would giggle when JJ would grab his
finger and shake his hand around.

The last day we were in Texas, Jeremiah pulled me to the side and asked me if I
thought his old truck would make it to Forks…just in case, cuz if Candace did leave
him, he wanted to have a back up plan.

So I tuned up his truck and changed the oil, and told him that if he ever needed
- 1054 -
me to just call cuz I could make it down here to him no matter what.

It was hard when we left again, especially for Suzie who didn't wanna leave her
bubby and nephew but Carlisle and Esme said they would fly the family to Forks for
Christmas so JJ could have his first Christmas, be a snowy one.

That made Suzie happy and Jeremiah was touched…I don't think Candace was too
keen on the idea though.

The next few months passed by without major incident and Christmas came and
went. Things at school weren't too bad, only the occasional snide remark and
football season had ended so no more daily beat downs from my teammates.

But I've always heard that revenge is a dish best served cold and after months of
waiting, I finally got my payback on the guys from the team.

Rosie was having a party during Spring Break when I spotted two of the bastards,
drinking rather heavily. I was limiting myself to two beers and Eddie was driving so
he wasn't drinking.

I smiled at Rose as she saw me eye them from across the yard. She smiled back
and nodded, "Go ahead, Jay…if anyone calls the cops, I'll say they crashed the party
to start shit and you were defending yourself."

I leaned over and kissed the top of her forehead, "Thanks, Rose."

Then I finally…finally got to whoop some ass.

After those two assholes were lying on the ground, bleeding and holding their
broken noses and bruised ribs, I leaned down and whispered in Darren's ear, "Just
cuz I'm tryin' to stay outta trouble in school, don't mistake that shit for weakness.
You try and give me a hard time again, and I will hunt you down and fuck you up. Do
not forget who the fuck you're dealin' with."

I went back and had my second beer with a smile on my face and a weight off my
shoulders. I knew that Carlisle and Peter wouldn't be happy if they heard about
what I did but I refrained from any violent behavior in school and handled this shit
outside on safe ground…and that was progress, right?

And I think that's the most important thing…

A/N: I know I'm running through time pretty fast now so if there are any
- 1055 -
specific outtakes you really wanna see, let me know and I will do my best to
write them once the story is done.

- 1056 -
 Chapter 51

A/N: This is a big chapter, lots going on so I hope I didn't leave out
anything you wanted to see. Again, if I did, let me know and I will try to do
an outtake for you. Also, I wanted to thank you guys for all the nominations
for the Slash Awards. It's really, really cool to know that you guys are still
loving these boys enough to nominate them, especially with all the
incredible fics out there right now. Anyway, this is it…after this, is the
epilogue and this journey has ended. I've had a blast and I hope you have as
well. Much love, ya'll.

Beautiful World by Coldplay, Good Life by One Republic

Eddie's POV

It was hard to believe that Spring Break was already here. The year had flown by
in the blink of an eye…well, that's not entirely true because the first few months
were a slow, torturous Hell. I wasn't sleeping well because I was very worried for
not just me, but all of my friends. We lived in a small town and all of us had
effectively outcast ourselves from the "normal" kids.

We were all the weirdos…the freaks…

It was something I was accustomed to but I hated watching my friends go through

that. At first I felt responsible, like if they weren't friends with me then they
wouldn't be going through what I had went through almost my whole life.

I talked to Doctor Cohen about how I felt and she said that I should pick one of my
friends and apologize for getting them outcast…she said it would help my guilt.

I thought that was a little weird but I decided to do it anyway.

So while Rose and I were waiting for our boys after her cheerleading and my track
practices, I decided to apologize to her because, although her and Em were popular
enough before they met me that they were able to retain some of their kingdom…a
big chunk had abandoned ship. They didn't get it as bad as the rest of us but they
still got it and we would all witness the occasional snickers of the bitchy senior girls
and some of the guys would call Emmett out as a closet case since most of the guys
he hung out with were gay.

- 1057 -
 So, I apologized to her for my reputation bringing hers down. And I'll never forget
what she said to me…

"Edward, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You're not my only gay friend.
And I may be popular but that's because I'm rich and look good in a tight pair of
jeans. I've gotten flack for years for being best friends with Alice because according
to the so called 'normal' people, she's weird…but they don't see the girl that has
always stuck up for me…they don't see the strong, unique, and wonderfully different
person she is…they can't see that about any of us because they're just sheep content
on following the herd…but us, we're rebels. We are who we are with no exceptions
and no apologies…"

She gave me a pointed stare and I blushed when she broke into a beautiful smile,
"What I'm trying to say is…you didn't make us freaks, Edward…you just joined us."

Doctor Cohen was right…it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders as I
couldn't help but smile, "Really?"

Sighing she looked over at me with pretty hazel eyes, "Do you really think we're
all so perfect? Lord knows I'm a complete bitch sometimes…and Emmett looks and
behaves like a typical guy but he's really sensitive and sweet and that doesn't always
bode well with the other jocks…Alice is hyperactive and has fits of
depression…Jasper can be a scary son of a bitch and a cocky asshole, and Brady's so
damn gay that I saw him sneeze one time and glitter just went flying everywhere…"

That earned a snort as I burst into laughter, "Thanks, Rosalie."

Rose smirked as she tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, "Anytime.
Now stop feeling guilty because Tommy has already secured the role of emo boy in
our merry band of misfits…"

I smiled, "Merry band of misfits?"

She just shrugged, "Alice and Brady made me watch The Princess Bride over the
weekend and some of the lingo stuck."

"Oh, I love that movie! Westley was so hot…"

That just slipped out…

But she just laughed, "I know! He totally reminds me of your dad if he had a little
mask and black cape…"
- 1058 -
 Looking off dreamily as she bit her lip and smiled…I rolled my eyes, "I really don't
get the whole fascination with my parents…and just eww, Rose."

That was the day that I realized, all those years spent wishing that I could learn
how to be normal were in vain because it turns out what I really needed was to
make a few friends who wouldn't judge me because they weren't normal themselves.

They were freaks like me...only some were better at hiding it.

Things were better after that because without the guilt weighing me down, I was
able to lift my head and no longer pretend to be okay…I really was okay because for
all the crap I had to take, all the blessings in my life made it worth it.

And after spending so much of my life being lonely…I realized that that was one
feeling I never had anymore. I was never lonely.

"Uh oh, you might wanna go reign in your cowboy, Eddie."

I looked down at Alice and saw her looking off into the distance. I followed her
eyes till they landed on my cowboy, who was glaring at Darren and Steve from the
football team. I knew those had been two of the pricks that picked on Jay all year.
He had been a really good boy, having worked hard and making it into the advanced
classes second semester and he hadn't had any disciplinary action all year, so I
decided to let him have his fun, he deserved it.

"I'll go get Em so we can have his back if anyone tries to jump in."

I took off for Em and by the time we walked over, Jasper had already walked up
and punched Steve square in the nose, dropping him to the ground like a fly before
he turned to Darren.

I'll admit…I kind of love to watch Jasper fight. I know it's totally wrong of me
because fighting isn't the answer but it reminded me of when we were 13 and he
beat up Mike, Tyler, and Eric…

My Superman…

And he told me once that sometimes you just have to fight and I always listen to
everything he says because I think he's the smartest person I know.

I could practically feel the weight being lifted off his shoulders as he growled
down triumphantly as the foes he had dealt with all year lay there bruised and
- 1059 -
beaten on the ground. He kept his cool at school in front of them but he was finally
able to show them that he was still the tough boy that threw everyone in a tizzy
when he arrived because I was fairly certain that Forks had never seen anything like
Jasper Whitlock before.

Then I heard Suzie off to the side and I turned just in time to see her with some
freshman boys arm twisted behind his back as he fell to his knees in pain. Brady was
standing next to her, soaking wet and covered in beer as he tried to wipe off his
glasses. Suzie growled, "You think that shit's funny? Lemme show you what I think's
funny…Brady, grab a beer from the table and dump it on this mother fucker's
head…"

I chuckled as Brady nodded quickly and I grabbed a beer from the table and
handed it to him, "Are you okay, Brady?"

He smiled up at me as he nodded, "Yeah, I love Suzie…she's badass."

I couldn't agree more and it was fun to watch Brady laugh as he slowly poured the
beer out over the pissed off freshman's head, who struggled to move but apparently
Suzie's death grip on his arm kept him from breaking free.

He sputtered out, "You fucking bitch…"

And then he cried out in pain again as Suzie twisted a little harder with a little
giggle, "Why thank you, honey, but you ain't seen nothin' yet…"

Then she proceeded to call Tommy over to dump a beer on the guy's head…then
Alice…then me…and finally Rose dumped the last one as she rolled her eyes, "Who
the hell even gave this little asshole permission to come to my party? Now get the
hell out of here before I sic my boyfriend on you because I guarantee you, beer on
your head is the least of your worries."

Suzie let go of the guy's arm as he stood, covered in mud and beer. Suzie grabbed
Brady's hand and growled at the asshole, "Now you run along and tell all your little
friends that if anyone touches my boy again, I will fuck them up. Ya'll are stuck with
me for three and a half more years and I hold grudges like nobody's business and I'll
fight a boy in a Texas minute so ya'll better back the hell off. Got it?"

I loved Jasper's cousins…just saying.

The guy stuttered and stumbled as Jay and Emmett now walked over to the group,
"Ok just let me leave…"
- 1060 -
 Jay smiled as he grabbed my hand and Emmett looked at Brady, finally realizing
what was going on. He charged forward and grabbed the guy by the shirt, "Hey
that's one of my best friends, dude…did you do that to him?"

Brady came forward and put his hand on Em's arm, "It's okay, Em…it's taken care
of, you can let him leave."

Em narrowed his eyes at the guy before dropping him. He scrambled to his feet
and took off. Suzie smiled down at Brady, "C'mon, darlin'…I got some extra clothes
for ya in Alice's car and then we'll go inside and wash your hair, k?"

He nodded and grinned, "Okay, thanks Suzie."

They took off and Jay squeezed my hand and smiled, "She finally found a boy to
give her all the attention she needs and I don't gotta worry bout him hurtin' her…"

That made me laugh as I rolled my eyes, "She's a Whitlock, Jay…I think she can
handle herself just fine."

But I was really happy for Suzie and Brady because they both needed someone to
lift them up and make them feel special…they found that in each other and I knew
without a doubt, if Suzie had a penis or Brady was into girls…they would be totally
in love with each other. I mean, they loved each other now, that much was evident
and they held a special kind of bond that went even beyond friendship.

"Wanna dance, Eddie?"

I looked over into my beautiful boy's baby blue eyes and smiled, "Yeah."

And so we snuck off to a quiet corner and danced…just like the "normal" people
but it was a hundred times better than anything they could ever have because there
was meaning behind every thing we did.

And at the end of the night, I drove him home, gave him a long, slow good night
kiss, then went home and played Call of Duty online with him and Emmett till the
wee hours of the night…this was pretty typical for a non-school night.

Spring Break was a little bittersweet because that meant Alice, Em, and Rose
would be graduating soon and going off to college. Em's dad wanted him to go to
USC but he wanted to go to the University of Washington with Rose and Alice. He
didn't quite know how to break the news to his dad for fear that he wouldn't pay for
it if he didn't go where his father wanted.
- 1061 -
 It was nothing unusual for Emmett to stop by unannounced sometimes and ask to
talk to my dad. He had received advice from him on many occasions but later that
week when Rosalie showed up on my doorstep in tears and asking for my mom, I
begun to worry.

And then less than an hour later when Emmett showed up asking for my dad, I
began to panic and called Jay.

"Sup, baby boy?"

"Um…what are doing, Jay?"

"Nothin', just got done mowin' the grass so I'm fixin' to take a shower…what's up,
babe, you sound anxious?"

I took a breath and let it out, "I think something's wrong with Em and Rose. They
both just showed up separately and are now speaking to my parents. Rose was
crying and Em was as white as a ghost."

Now I heard him take a breath, "Well, shit…okay, let me take a quick shower and
I'll be there in 'bout half an hour."

"Okay, Jay. Be careful. Love you."

"Love you too, Eddie. See you soon."

When Jay arrived, we sat out on the front porch and waited for what seemed like
hours until Rose and Em came walking out, holding hands and both red from crying.
I hated to see my friends hurt so I stood and couldn't stop myself from pulling
Rosalie into a hug and whispering, "What's wrong?"

She let go of Em's hand and grabbed onto me fiercely as she sobbed,
"I'm…pregnant…"

I saw Jay pull Em to the side and whisper, "I thought you used condoms, man…"

Em nodded as he took a big breath, "We did but she started the pill last summer
so we stopped…and then she got strep throat a couple months ago…and…"

I was confused and Rosalie pulled away as she sniffled, "I was on an antibiotic…it
makes the birth control pills completely ineffective…but I didn't know that…"

- 1062 -
 Jay pulled out a cigarette and sighed, "Fuck, man…what are ya'll gonna do?"

Em and Rose sat down on the side of the porch while Jay and I sat beside them.

Rosalie wiped the tears from her ice blue eyes, "Carlisle and Esme are having us
over for dinner tomorrow along with Em's dad and my mom…they both respect
Carlisle so he thought maybe he could help keep things calm while we talk about
what we're going to do…"

Now Em nodded, "Yeah, my dad can be an asshole sometimes but he's obviously
not all that bad…I mean, he let Tommy come live with us and Brady practically stays
with us…I know he just wants the best for me but he's just gotta back me up on
this…just this once…because Rosalie and I are getting married this summer and
we're gonna have a baby."

With bloodshot eyes, he grinned a beautiful dimpled grin at the girl he loved and
she smiled brilliantly through tears as he pulled her into his arms and whispered,
"It's gonna be okay, Rosie…I love you and it's gonna be okay…"

And we knew that it would…eventually anyway.

The next day, we all hung out in my room upstairs while they had dinner…wanting
to be close just in case things went badly and our friends needed us.

There was some yelling…a lot of crying…and then the slam of a door before we
finally made our way downstairs to help in any way we could…but we were
surprised at the scene laid out before us.

My mom and dad sat at the kitchen table holding hands and gazing into each
other's eyes with a look of pure love…and Emmett's dad, Joe, who was even bigger
then Em was, was standing there in tears, arms wrapped around both Rosalie and
Emmett as they hugged in the middle of my kitchen.

They stayed there until late into the night, drinking coffee and making plans for
their future. Joe had been furious at first but when Emmett started to cry and
Rosalie's mom told her not to come home if she planned on keeping the baby before
she stormed out…it finally clicked to him that his son was in pain and needed him.
They talked about Emmett's mother and how she predicted from the time he was
two that her son would be an incredible father one day and the thought of his son's
first child, his first grandchild, being taken away from them, made him spring into
action. Although he was certainly unhappy about the time coming so soon and
watching the road his son chose become suddenly much rougher than what he had
- 1063 -
planned…in the end, he loved his son enough to help him.

They were going to stay with him until the fall when he would help them move to
Seattle and find an apartment. Joe would pay for it but Emmett would go to the
University of Washington and take so many courses a semester. He and Rosalie
would both have to get part time jobs and would have to stay at home with the baby.
Alice stepped in and said that she could get a place with them, that way her monthly
stipend would help Joe out with the bills and she could help babysit if they needed it.
And then she called Jane and they setup a time to hang out with Em and Rose on
Sunday because Jane knew of the best and safest babysitter's close to campus. She
also had some books and maternity clothes that she hadn't gotten rid of and offered
them to Rose, which she gladly accepted.

Rose and Em also accepted Alice's offer of living with them and splitting the bills.
Joe thanked her for being such a good friend to his son and future daughter-in-law.

Which led to talk of the wedding. They were going to just go to the Justice of the
Peace but Esme, Alice, and Brady all fought on that one, finally deciding to have it in
the back yard a few weeks after school let out.

Rosalie wore Emmett's mother's wedding dress and Joe cried when he saw her,
just the smallest of a baby bump underneath the white silk. I had never seen those
two as happy as when they were announced as Mr. and Mrs. McCarty.

And as Jasper and I danced at their wedding, he smiled down at me, "Shit sure
does get crazy around here, huh?"

I smiled as I laid my head on his shoulder and swayed to the music, "Life is crazy,
Jay."

Peaks and valleys…

The summer went by in a blur as we all prepared for things to come. The girls,
and Brady, spent most of their time shopping…specifically for the baby. Emmett,
Jasper, and I got jobs. Em's dad had gotten him a construction job for the summer
before his move to Seattle. Jacob had offered Jay a job at his dad's shop in La Push
but he actually ended up working for a mechanic here in town. He thanked Jacob
but thought it would be a good idea to stay away from the rest of the Rez boys. I
agreed.

And I got a job at…a stupid cell phone store.

- 1064 -
 It really, really sucked but the deal I made with my dad was that I would replace
the money I spent out of my savings from last year's little summer excursion so I just
had to suck it up and deal with it.

Jasper didn't make it any easier.

He'd come to the store on the days he didn't work and bring me lunch…

I'd sigh as he'd stand there and just grin at me until I snapped, "What?"

Shrugging and killing me with those damn dimples of his, he'd just grin harder
"You look really cute in your little tie…"

Fighting the temptation to smile back at him, I just rolled my eyes, "Fuck off."

Leaning on the counter, he reached forward and started playing with the end of
my tie, the smile never leaving his face, "Now is that any way to talk to your
ever-lovin' boyfriend who went out of his way to bring his baby boy some homemade
biscuits and honey?"

Aww…damn him for being so perfect…

A smile finally broke through and I could feel my cheeks begin to burn, "You made
me biscuits and brought me honey?"

"Yup…can I have my kiss now?"

Blushing even harder as he pulled just a bit on my tie, I looked around even as my
breathing began to accelerate, "Um…I'm at work, Jay…"

"You're the only one here, Eddie…"

"But, um, babe…I could get fired…"

"Do you really care, darlin'?"

Looking into the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen, I felt my breath give way as I
mumbled, "Not really…"

Then one hard tug of my tie and our lips crashed together. And that familiar heat
washed over me…the fire that only Jay could spark.

- 1065 -
 Moments later, we were in the storage room…his hands were locked in my hair
and mine were underneath his t-shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his back and all
the scars beneath my fingertips.

We kissed for what seems like hours before I finally heard that stupid bell on the
front door signifying that someone had entered the store.

I pulled away with a gasp and immediately started straightening my shirt and tie.
Running my hands through my hair, I tried to push it down a bit, "Does my hair look
like I've been making out, Jay?"

The bastard just snickered and cocked an eyebrow, "Really, Edward?"

I knew it was useless, my hair always looked like I had been making out. I huffed
and turned to leave, "You're an asshole, Jasper."

I heard his laughter ring out as I stormed out of the storage room and out to help
the stupid customer with their stupid cell phone.

But I really couldn't be mad at him for the whole 'tie' thing because on days when
I took him lunch while he was working…let's just say that I've ended up with my
hand down the front of his dirty coveralls on more than one occasion.

I tried very hard to refrain from attacking him but there were just some things I
couldn't resist…

Jasper sweaty and covered in oil from working on cars all day…

Cowboy Jasper…

Jay being all ghetto…

So basically I just couldn't resist anything him…

But in all fairness…the boy was all about some Eddie as well…

It was nice to know that even as our lives settled down from our chaotic
beginnings…that fire between us had never flickered even for a moment…if
anything, it only grew stronger and more intense with every passing day.

Eventually, summer faded and gave way to fall. Our friends had found an
apartment in Seattle and Emmett and Rosalie had both gotten jobs. Alice and Em
- 1066 -
started school and the rest of us started back in Forks.

It was Junior year and our little circle had gotten considerably smaller with Em,
Rose, and Alice gone, even though we still saw each other as much as we could on
weekends.

But then, a couple months later Seth Clearwater became a new member of our
group. Apparently, he and Brady had been best friends as children until Junior High
started and Seth began pulling away with the other Rez boys. He had never
participated in any of the taunting but he certainly hadn't stuck up for Brady either.
But over the summer, his father had a heart attack and his sister came out of the
closet a couple months later. Brady had went to his father's funeral and finally, Seth
got his priorities straight and sought Brady out to apologize and hopefully become
friends again.

His sister's sexuality and his rekindled friendship with Brady severed his ties with
the rest of the Rez boys and pretty soon, he was spending a lot of time with
us…specifically Brady and Suzie, especially since he and Suzie started dating in the
middle of her sophomore year.

And, once again, things had settled down in our lives for awhile…but life is ever
changing, and soon our lives changed again.

It was a Friday night in November and the sound of my phone woke me up.
Glancing at the clock, I could make it out to be after three o'clock in the morning. It
wasn't Jay's ring tone but I was not expecting the person on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Um, hey pretty boy…"

I shot up in my bed, as my heart began to race, "Jeremiah, are you okay? Is JJ

okay? Where are you?"

"Uh…I'm in your driveway…"

Jumping out of bed and throwing some sweats on over my boxer briefs, I spoke
quickly, "I'll be right there."

I opened the door to see him getting JJ out of his car seat. Candace wasn't with
them.

- 1067 -
 Grabbing my coat, I ran out and helped him carry a few bags inside. The bed of his
truck was covered in a tarp but I could see part of a rocking chair sticking up.

I couldn't believe how big JJ had gotten. He had loose honey blonde curls and
chubby little legs and rosy pink cheeks. It's simply amazing how much can happen in
a single year.

Once we got inside, I could take the opportunity to really see Jeremiah now and he
didn't look so good. I mean, he was gorgeous as always but he looked completely
exhausted. And I knew he had to be cold because he only wore a pair of worn jeans
and a gray hoodie, no coat.

I led him to the living room and he sat down on the couch as JJ snuggled into his
chest, underneath the blue blanket wrapped around him.

Whispering as to not wake my mom or JJ yet, I asked him if he wanted something

warm to drink, tea or coffee or something. He looked down at the sleeping boy in his
arms and closed his eyes. His voice sounded thick as he whispered, "Yes, please,
anythin's fine…thank you, Edward."

I simply smiled and nodded before rushing to the kitchen and heating up some tea
for him. By the time I came back, he was slumped against the couch, fast asleep
with JJ curled up on top of him.

He didn't look like he had slept in days so I just pulled the throw over top the both
of them and settled into the recliner across from them. That way I could keep an eye
on JJ because the house wasn't baby-proofed yet and I didn't want to take the
chances of him waking up and getting hurt. I also figured my dad should be getting
home any time from a late shift at the hospital so I watched TV with the sound
turned almost all the way down and drank the tea as I waited.

About an hour later, I heard the garage door open and I met him at the doorway.
He spoke in a rushed whisper, "Are they okay? I saw Jeremiah's truck in the
driveway…"

Quickly nodding and assuring him they were fine, he took off his coat, gloves, and
boots before creeping to the living room with me to see for himself.

I started the coffee pot, having a feeling that it was going to be a long morning.
Dad walked into the kitchen and spoke quietly as pulled out a chair and sat while I
worked, "What happened, son?"

- 1068 -
 Shrugging, I turned around and leaned against the counter, "I don't know,
dad…he just showed up at about three o'clock this morning and he fell asleep on the
couch before I could ask what was going on. He looked exhausted so I just let him
sleep."

We talked for a little while about his night at work and I could tell that he was
exhausted himself.

"Dad, why don't you go get some rest…"

"Yeah, honey, what are you still doing up anyway?" My mom came shuffling in the
kitchen in her robe and slippers as she leaned down and kissed my father's hair
before pouring herself a cup of coffee.

And then she gasped as JJ came waddling into the kitchen, straight to the
refrigerator.

His tiny hands patted at the enormous box in front of him as he spoke, "Bite!"

My dad laughed and my mom's eyes grew wide, "Oh my God! Why didn't you wake
me and tell me they were here?"

Just then, a very disheveled Jeremiah came running into the kitchen and let out a
breath when he saw his son, "Jesus, son, you damn near gave me a heart attack…"

JJ's beautiful blue eyes lit up as he toddled to his daddy with his arms up in the
air, "Bite, Daddy…bite!"

Jeremiah picked up the happy little boy as he smiled, "Hold yer horses, little
man…"

My mom was the first to rush over and throw her arms around the two boys,
hugging them closely and whispering, "I'm so glad you're here…"

Jeremiah's eyes closed as he hugged her back and he let out a breath.

My dad smiled and walked over, putting his hand on Jeremiah's shoulder he gave
him a little squeeze, "I have to be back at the hospital in a few hours so I'm going to
go get some sleep but I have tomorrow off so we'll sit down and talk then okay?"

Jeremiah nodded as his head hung down again.

- 1069 -
 Patting JJ's head, my dad spoke quietly, "You boys make yourselves at
home…Esme will take care of anything you need and we'll figure everything else
after we've both had some rest because you look like you're about to fall over, son.
JJ, you make sure your daddy eats, then sleeps, okay? Doctor's orders…"

JJ pointed at him then looked at his daddy, "Dat Pap?"

Jeremiah smiled as his eyes lit up at the beautiful boy, "That's right, that's Papaw
Carlisle…"

I remember that look on my father's face, having seen it only once before, when
he and I were sitting on my piano bench and I called him dad for the first time.

"He called me Pap…"

Jeremiah looked down again, "Uh yeah…I had that picture we took at Christmas of
all of us hangin' across from his bed…and I would tell him who all of ya'll were every
night so he wouldn't forget…and um, he couldn't say Carlisle and Esme so I just
figured it'd be easier to call you Papaw and Mamaw…hope that's okay…"

My dad smiled beautifully through blood shot eyes as he reached out, "Come here
to your Pap, little man…"

JJ reached out for him and he looked so happy as he held him in his arms, "Bite,
Pap…bite!"

Then my mom came over, looking every bit as elated as my dad, "Let's get this boy
some food. Come to mamaw, sweetheart…"

JJ reached out for her now, "Bite, Maw…bite…"

Dad handed him to my mom and Jeremiah smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry for just
bustin' in on ya'll like this…"

My mom waved her hand dismissively, "You're family, sweetheart, you're welcome
here anytime…"

My dad whined, "I want to play with the baby…"

She smiled at him, "You need to sleep, dear…I'm assuming the boys are staying
for awhile…"

- 1070 -
 Jeremiah nodded, "If that's okay…"

Rolling his eyes and laughing, my dad yawned and stretched, "You know she's not
going to put that boy down for at least a good hour, son…"

I chuckled as my mom smirked at my father and Jeremiah laughed.

My dad finally made his way to bed and mom started breakfast. Jeremiah seemed
kind of nervous as he hardly looked up from the floor and spoke quietly…almost as if
he was afraid to really feel what he was feeling so he was keeping his emotions in
check but I could see the mask slipping.

It reminded me of Jay…all those times when we were alone and he would just let
that cocky, indifferent mask slip and reveal the very human boy underneath…the
boy that was exhausted and broken down…the boy that felt everything so strongly
but kept it hidden safely inside…

I wanted to help him.

He eventually went upstairs to take a shower before breakfast, after Esme assured
him that she was more than happy to keep an eye on JJ. Everything he had was dirty,
so I grabbed him some sweats and a t-shirt of Jay's that I often slept in because they
were kind of big and baggy and reminded me of him…

But anyway, I took the clothes to his room and the door was cracked open just a
bit so I knocked softly.

"Um, Jeremiah…can I come in?"

All I heard was a few sniffles, so I gently pushed the door open to see him sitting
on the floor with his back against the bed and his head on his knees. His arms were
wrapped around himself as if he were trying to become as small as possible.

I hated seeing him suffer…Jeremiah was the boy that was always happy, always
bouncing around goofy and carefree…but right now, he was broken…

Taking a deep breath, I walked in and placed the clothes on the bed before sliding
down on the floor next to him.

I spoke quietly, "Um…Jeremiah? I don't know what happened or what you're going
through but, um…I'm here for you if you want to talk…and I know how difficult that
is sometimes…to just, you know…talk about what's hurting you but…I do know that
- 1071 -
your burdens would be much easier to manage if you learned to share them…we're
all here for you…and we're all willing to help lighten your load…but you have to tell
us what's going on…"

I remembered back to the very first night I met Jay…the first night he stayed the
night and how he helped me open up…and how much better I felt afterward…that
was the beginning of my real recovery.

After a minute, I thought that maybe he wasn't going to say anything but then I
heard his voice, rough with exhaustion, "I'm so fuckin' tired, man…I drove straight
through…I was afraid to stop…afraid I'd turn around and go back…I don't even
know how to explain how I'm feelin' without it soundin' crazy…"

Finally, he raised his tired blue eyes up and looked at me. I smiled a little at him
and shrugged, "Then just say it the best way you can and if it sounds crazy, so what,
I'm quite fluent in crazy."

There was a hint of a smile before it fell again and he sighed, "It's just…I'm scared
of what I could be…like, I know that I have it in me to really fuck everythin' up…"

Sensing that he was still holding back, I tried again, "What happened, Jeremiah?"

He sniffled again and looked away, staring at the wall as he barely whispered,
"About a month ago, I got a call at work from Ethan tellin' me that I needed to get
home right away…it was like, three o'clock in the mornin' and when I got there, he
was waitin' on me. He told me that he was drivin' by on his way to his girlfriend's
house and he seen Candace leavin'…he knew I was at work so he called me…"

I was a little confused, "So, she was trying to take JJ and leave you in the middle of
the night?"

He shook his head and huffed a little, "Fuck no, that bitch left him there…"

"What? She left JJ alone?"

"Yeah, he was asleep in his crib and she fuckin' left him there alone…I don't think
I've ever been so god damn pissed in my whole life but then 'bout an hour later, she
comes strollin' in high as hell and freshly fucked…I was seein' red, man…I wanted to
beat the fuck out of her…I would've too but Ethan held me back…anyway, I told her
to get the fuck out and if she ever wanted to see JJ again she'd have to take me to
court…"

- 1072 -
 My mind was spinning and I was angry at her, I couldn't even imagine how pissed
off he was.

The words fell from his lips now that he had started, "My mama watched JJ a
couple of nights but she's sick again…she can't watch JJ and work and keep up with
her doctor's appointments so I tried to find a babysitter but there was only one old
lady that I could really afford and still take care of us. I took him there and I tried to
leave him so I could go to work but…I just couldn't fuckin' leave him there…the
place was kinda dirty and I didn't know or trust that old woman…so I lost my job…"

My heart ached for him, "I'm so sorry, Jeremiah…"

He laughed humorously and rolled his eyes, "Don't feel sorry for me, Edward…I
don't deserve it. I tried…I tried really hard to do shit right but after a couple weeks,
I had pawned everything I owned to try and keep us afloat till I could figure out my
next move…and then 'bout a week ago, Ethan and Caleb offered me in on a job. .."

I smiled, "Well, that was nice of them…"

This time he chuckled for real, "It was an illegal job, Edward…stealin' cars and
strippin' them, sellin' the parts and then sellin' the car to some guys we know that
drag race…"

My smile fell, "Oh, um…well that wasn't really very nice then…"

He sighed, "I had twenty bucks to my name and an eviction notice on my door so I
said yes…it was stupid but I was desperate and a few hundred bucks by mornin'
didn't seem like a bad thing…"

Then my heart fell, "You did it?"

"Mama watched JJ for me that night and I got in the car with them…we got about
half way there 'fore I just couldn't take the guilt anymore…so I made them let me
out and I ran all the way back to mama's house…the next day, I went and seen
Brandon in prison cuz I needed to be reminded where that shit could land me. I told
him 'bout everythin' that was goin' on and he told me to take JJ and fuckin' run…he
told me to just get in the truck and drive here and not to stop to think 'bout what I
was doin'…just go…so I left the prison, grabbed JJ and all his shit and started
drivin'…this is just the first time I stopped to think about everything that happened."

I couldn't stop myself from reaching over and grabbing his hand, I gave it a small
squeeze before letting go and blushing, "Um…sorry, it's probably not appropriate for
- 1073 -
me to grab your hand…I mean…sorry…I'm still a little awkward…"

I stammered and he broke into a beautiful laugh as he reached over and grabbed
my hand, pulling me into a hug, he sighed, "You're sweet, Edward…I can see why
my little Cuz fell so hard for you…"

Hugging him back, I smiled, "And you're not a bad person, Jeremiah…I know now
that's what you were thinking when you said you were afraid of what you could
be…but you got out of the car and you drove here…everybody messes us once in
awhile but you corrected your mistake before it was too late. I'm glad you followed
Brandon's advice, he must be very smart…"

Breaking from the hug, he smiled, "Yeah, I kinda always looked up to him, ya
know, he was older and shit…the night he got caught, all of us were runnin'…they
were only gonna give him a year in jail and a year's probation if he'd turn us all in
but he wouldn't…so they gave him ten years and he's gonna do probably five of
those…he wanted to keep us outta that place and I could just hear his voice tellin'
me to just keep drivin' every time I wanted to turn around…"

None of the Whitlock boys having their father's in their lives, I could see how they
looked up to one another…good or bad. Maybe Jay and Jeremiah could be the ones
to influence the others in a positive way.

"Well, I'm glad you're here and believe it or not, I do completely understand why
you were afraid of what you could be…that used to be one of my biggest fears…that
I could end up crazy like my biological father…and I'm crazy, alright, but I don't
think it's in a bad way and I'll certainly never end up like him…"

"Was he bad?"

I furrowed my brows, "Jay never told you?"

Shaking his head, he sighed, "No, I mean, I know it was somethin' pretty bad cuz
he used to always have nightmares and talk in his sleep but when I asked, he said it
wasn't his story to tell…"

Taking a deep breath, I slowly exhaled, "Okay, um…my father was schizophrenic
and my mother was a classic abuse victim…"

He leaned over and nudged my shoulder, "You don't have to tell me, if you don't
want to…"

- 1074 -
 Smiling weakly, I sighed, "It's okay…I think it's good to talk about it
sometimes…like how I said earlier about sharing your burdens…besides, I think that
sometimes it's easier to understand people if you know their story…Jay says that
everybody has one and I have found that to be true…"

So, I closed my eyes and told him my story and when I was finished, I smiled
because I got through the story on my own and without becoming a complete mess…

He looked over at me through big blue bloodshot eyes, "Jesus Christ, Edward…I've
never…that's some fucked up shit…you're really fuckin' strong, you know that…to
be, like, as normal as you are havin' gone through that…"

That caused me to smile more, "You think I'm normal?"

Finally I was graced with a big dimpled grin, "Well, yeah, but look at the
source…I'm loonier than a 'toon, pretty boy."

Standing up, I held out my hand and helped him up…he was so tired he swayed on
his feet.

"Jeremiah, we're all fucked up…we all make mistakes but my dad once told me
that the important thing is to not keep making the same mistakes…and ask for help
when you need it… you're here now, you're not in this alone so dust off your britches
and get your shit together because you have a beautiful little boy down there whose
eyes light up every time he sees you and I think that's all the reason you need to be
the person you really want to be…not what everyone else has expected you to
be…we can break the mold…I have found that freaks like us are very resilient…so
take a shower and I'll see you downstairs for breakfast…"

Nodding, he grabbed the clothes on the bed and turned back to me with a small
smile, "Hey Edward? Thanks, man."

I smiled back as I headed out the door, "Anytime."

The next few days were hard on him but everyone came down from Seattle and
offered their support. They helped us get the boys' bedrooms done and Jeremiah was
blown away by the way we all worked together as a family. I don't think I had ever
seen Suzie as happy as she was when she saw her brother and nephew settled in
with us. Jasper was especially proud of Jeremiah for leaving that stuff behind. The
truth was, even with Jeremiah's indiscretion in Texas, he had been doing really well.
He quit smoking and had been totally clean since JJ was born except for the
occasional beer or two, he had been working, and he had been taking care of his
- 1075 -
son.

JJ was incredible. He was so smart and cute and funny…he tried to call me Uncle
Eddie but it came out as 'UnD' for now. Jay thought that was hilarious. My mom and
dad just glowed when he was around and it was really nice to have them both
there…and it was kind of hilarious how JJ would come waddling into my room butt
naked with his arms up, yelling, "UnD! UnD!" every time his daddy would try and
give him a bath.

It turns out the boy was just like his daddy as one of Jeremiah's biggest challenges
was keeping clothes on the little guy.

But one thing JJ really liked was my piano. So it soon became a nightly ritual that
he would sit on my lap and I would play and sing him a bedtime song while he
pounded on the keys.

And in those first few days that passed, Rosalie had her baby. And another
beautiful little boy came into our lives. Emmett Joseph McCarty Jr., or as we called
him, EmJ, was born exactly one year and three days after JJ.

Things settled down for the holidays and we all were just thankful for the many
blessings in our lives. Dad had helped Jeremiah get into an apprenticeship program
for the Electrician's Union and he was saving up money for him and JJ to get their
own place because as grateful as he was for my parents helping them, he
desperately wanted to stand on his own two feet.

And I could tell that Jay kind of looked up to that…it got him thinking about our
future together. So, it wasn't that much of a surprise as we sit cuddled together
underneath a blanket in his old truck after some incredible lovemaking on a
Saturday night, that he pulled me close and whispered, "Don't fall asleep, baby
boy…I wanna talk…"

My body was drained and my eyes were so heavy but I had to be home in an hour
so I smiled and nuzzled into his neck, "Hmm…go ahead, babe…I'm not even
sleepy…"

A few minutes later, I'm assaulted with the bitter cold as I open my hazy eyes and
see Jay smoking a cigarette with the window down, his free arm wrapped around
me. I jumped up and quickly started pulling my jeans on as he handed me my
hoodie, "Sorry, Jay…why didn't you wake me back up?"

He just graced me with that beautiful dimpled grin, "You look really cute when
- 1076 -
you sleep and I'm not gonna lie, I kinda feel like a pimp every time you pass out after
I dick you down real good…"

Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help the smile that broke through as I pulled my hoodie
over my head and cuddled back into his side. His jeans were still undone and I found
myself absentmindedly running my fingers along his pelvic bone as he groaned and
grinned at me, "You're fuckin' insatiable, you know that?"

I just smirked as my fingers dipped lower and grazed his heavy cock that was
beginning to twitch to life again, "Bonjour Pierre, vous m'avez manqué, hein? Vous
êtes prêt pour moi encore une fois, ne sont pas vous, soldat?"

Jay laughed and swatted my hand away, "Pierre's a dick and easily distracted…for
real baby, I wanna talk…"

I smiled as I sat up, "Then button your jeans because you know I can't think
straight when he's so close…"

He laughed as he did his jeans up and I tried to reign my teenage hormones in.

"Okay, Jay, sorry for being distracted…what did you want to talk about?"

Taking a drag from his cigarette, he blew the thick white smoke out the window
and sighed, "Ya know, our futures and shit…Senior Year is right around the corner
and we need to start makin' plans…"

I reached over and grabbed his free hand, "I suppose you're right…what did you
have in mind?"

His pretty pink lips turned down and I didn't like it, "Well, I mean, you're really
smart, Edward…you're gonna be able to go to any school you want, like Ivy League
and shit…I'm doin' good now but I probably ain't gonna be able to get into some of
them fancy schools but I don't wanna hold you back…"

My heart began to race as I looked over at him, "Are you saying you want to break
up?"

His baby blue eyes went wide as he rushed out, "Fuck no! That's not what I'm
sayin' at all! I'm just sayin' that wherever you wanna go…whatever you wanna
do…I'll follow you to the ends of the fuckin' earth, Eddie…I'll get a job and apply to
some local college wherever you're at…"

- 1077 -
 I let out a breath and shook my head, "And that would be holding you back,
Jasper. You have a whole world of possibilities out there that weren't available to
you before…you can go anywhere…do anything…honestly, I'd rather just stay here
in Washington and go to the University with our friends…get a little apartment in
Seattle and be close to everyone we love…but I don't want to hold you back either…"

Now he let out a breath and grinned, "Really? Cuz that's all I want too. But are
you sure, baby? I mean, I know Mrs. Cope has been talkin' to you about, like,
Harvard and shit…you're so god damn smart…"

Not able to resist any longer, I pushed the blanket aside and slowly crawled back
on top of him, straddling his lap as his fingers cupped my ass and pulled me closer,
"You're right, Jay…I'm very smart…smart enough to know what I want. I don't need
any Ivy League schools…I don't need anything fancy…all I need is you."

His smile took my breath away as he gazed up at me through lidded midnight

eyes, "You got me, baby boy…so, we got like half an hour 'fore I gotta take you
home…wanna fool around now?"

Chuckling as I pressed my lips to his, I grabbed his hoodie and pulled him with me
as I laid back on the seat, "Yes, Love…"

Growling, he grinded hard against me and whispered, "I fuckin' love it when you
call me that…"

Of course, I already knew that.

The rest of our Junior year passed pretty quietly…which was fine by us. We knew
that drama would always come and go so we relished the peaceful times when
everything seemed right with the world, knowing that the next valley would come
but that we would manage our way back up the mountain, as we always did.

And it was funny but Jay and I were pretty…normal, I guess.

We went out on dates almost every weekend, whether it be something as simple

as taking JJ and EmJ to the park or making out for hours in his truck parked off in
the woods behind Peter's house…but we always made sure to spend time with other
people as well. He, Emmett, and Jeremiah would often go paint balling or setup
random football games with their friends. Sometimes I would go with them but I also
spent a lot of time with Brady, Suzie, Seth, and Tommy. Brady and I had a special
relationship…he taught me how to embrace my inner 'twink', as he called it. I wasn't
particularly comfortable with the title but I loved the way Jay would react to the
- 1078 -
tight jeans and playful briefs that Brady would pick out for our dates.

I over heard Jay thanking Brady repeatedly for his influence on my wardrobe…it
helped that I had been filling out the last couple years. I mean, I still wasn't built
like Jasper and I would probably always be a little smaller and leaner than him, but I
liked my body now. Between track and jogging in the mornings, my physique had
improved greatly, in my opinion…well, Jay seemed to like it pretty well also.

Tommy and I had become close again, spending our time usually just listening to
music or talking. Jay had been jealous at first when I told him that Tommy and I
were going to hang out for the afternoon while the girls, and Brady, went
shopping…but he got over it pretty quick because he trusted me. It felt really good
when he just gave me a kiss and told me to have fun.

Alice was doing really well in school and she had introduced Jane to Seth's sister,
Leah…turns out that they hit it off. Alice was always the matchmaker but couldn't
seem to settle down herself. I had thought that her and Jeremiah would hook up now
with Candace out of the way but he just wasn't ready to start any new relationship
until he got on his own and Alice was busy working on her own thing…but they
became really close friends with great potential.

And Jeremiah had broken down and called Candace to give her his phone number
so that she could be a part of JJ's life if she straightened up. She's called twice in the
last six months.

But things with Tommy's mom had improved by the beginning of Senior year, as
she left his dad and wanted to try and work things out with her son. He had decided
to spend the summer with her in Northern California to see if they could still have a
relationship. Emmett had made it clear that he could be there in a few hours to get
him if things went bad…but luckily they didn't and he visited her quite often, though
he chose to stay at his Uncle Joe's to finish high school.

And Jasper's mother was due out any day and would be transferring to a half way
house in Richmond for six months before being completely free again. It worried him
that once she had her freedom, he would be pushed aside again…I worried about
that too but all we could do was hope for the best.

Things had improved with his father and they still met a couple times a month for
dinner. There relationship was strained but improving. Wayne would usually come
up to Forks for Christmas, bringing Barbara with him and although it was awkward
at times, he was slowly warming up to me…which was a good thing because I
intended on spending the rest of my life with his son.
- 1079 -
 The relationship I had with my mom and dad only continued to grow but it too had
not been without its bumps in the road. I turned 18 the summer before Senior Year
so I assumed that rules like 'curfew' had gone out the window but unfortunately,
they thought different. So, I went a little crazy and stayed out till morning one night
after a party…Jay had tried to talk some sense into me and had even at one point,
thrown me over his shoulder to try and get me in his truck so he could take me
home…but I can run faster than he can.

I should've listened because my father certainly didn't appreciate my brief

rebellious period and he actually took my Volvo away and grounded me for two
weeks.

Once my time was done, I took Jay's advice and sat down with my dad and talked
to him like a man. We worked out my issues with curfew and I respected his
arguments about school nights…so in the end, we came to a compromise and they
loosened the reigns a bit.

And after one too many times of him walking in on me attacking my gorgeous
boyfriend, the 'no closed doors' policy went out the window but he reminded us that
we were still not allowed to have sex in his house.

So of course the first thing I whispered to Jay was, "A blow job technically isn't
sex…"

But then I heard my dad's voice in the hallway, "Blow jobs count, son…and so do
hand jobs…and rim jobs…"

Jay held his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter and I furrowed my brows,
"How the hell does he do that?"

That might be one thing I never learn in this lifetime, my father's innate ability to
read my mind.

But it was that ability that helped me learn another important lesson in life…

It was just a couple nights before Christmas and I was feeling a little down
because…well, Jay and I had talked about our futures in school and Seattle but he
had never mentioned us getting married. I thought that perhaps he wanted to wait
until after college when we were established and stuff…but I thought that was total
bullshit because I didn't want to wait.

My dad plopped down next to me on the couch while I sulked. Jay was working
- 1080 -
late tonight at the garage, he had been working so much to buy Christmas gifts that
I hadn't got to see him very much these last few weeks.

"What's wrong, son?"

"Nothing."

He rolled his hazel eyes and smiled, "Boyfriend troubles?"

I furrowed my brows and huffed, "No…we're fine, dad...he's perfect…well, for me

anyway…"

"But he hasn't asked you to marry him yet?"

My eyes went wide as he chuckled like the all knowing smug bastard he is, "How
did you…I don't understand it, dad…I know he loves me and we're going to get
married but I always imagined it would be the summer after graduation…you know,
before we start our lives in Seattle…but here it is, almost Christmas already and he
hasn't mentioned a word…what if he wants to wait until after college?"

"Well, if that's his wish then you should respect it…but let me ask you a question
first, son?"

I sighed, "Yeah?"

He leaned forward and handed me a small box, "Why does he have to ask you?
You're every bit as much of a man as he is…"

I took the box and thought about his words as I opened it to see a beautiful man's
wedding ring, it was gold and had baguette diamonds and small sapphire stones.

My dad smiled, "It was my dad's…I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it so
you being gay and needing a man's ring is kind of a plus…"

Rolling my eyes, I smiled, "It's beautiful…Jay will look beautiful wearing

it…um…do you really think I can do this…I mean, shouldn't you be trying to talk me
out of wanting to marry so young?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment before he grinned and shook his head,
"Nah…you love him, he loves you…that's really the most important thing. And yes, I
know you can do this because I have had the pleasure of watching you grow and
mature into an incredible young man. Besides, I'm a bit of a romantic…"
- 1081 -
 I reached over and pulled him into a hug, "Thanks, dad."

He patted my back as he whispered, "Anytime, son."

Now that I had planned on asking the man I love to marry me…there was only one
other person I wanted to speak to first. I got my opportunity on Christmas Eve as I
found him sitting by himself, outside on the back patio smoking a cigarette.

I took a deep breath before sliding out the door and approaching him, "Um,
Wayne? I wondered if I might have a minute?"

He looked a little shocked since we hadn't really spoken much before and never
alone.

"Uh…sure, son, what's up?"

Sitting across from him on a wooden bench, I took another breath and attempted
to put my brave face on, "Well, I know that you and Jay have had your
disagreements in the past regarding our relationship but it seems that you realize
I'm here for the long haul…"

He sighed and took another drag before nodding, "Yeah, I know he's crazy about
you, Edward…"

"So, I wanted to let you know that I…um…"

Deep breaths, Edward…deep breaths…

"Um…I'm going to ask him to marry me tonight."

Choking a bit on the last drag, he coughed then looked up at me through wide
eyes, "You're what? Is that even possible?"

I nodded and stood firm, "It is. Hopefully it will still be legal here by the time
summer comes because when school's over, we will be getting married…"

He huffed, "You're so sure he's gonna accept?"

Hiding behind a mask of cockiness, I smirked, "Do you really think he'll say no?"

Standing up, he glared down at me and spoke through harsh breaths, "You're too
young…too young to settle down with one person and I know that he loves you but
- 1082 -
time changes shit and…"

Now I stood, toe to toe with him…though he towered over me but I held my
ground, "Nothing will change the way we feel about each other. This is it. I'm the
person your son will spend the rest of his life with. Now I've been quiet regarding
you because I appreciate the great strides you have made in being a part of Jasper's
life, but make no mistake, I have not forgotten how those scars on his back got there
and if you do anything to take away his happiness or hurt him again, I will make
sure you live the rest of your days regretting it. Now, I was not asking for your
permission. I will ask him to marry me and he will say yes. That's just a fact and you
can choose to be a part of our lives or not but know that if he has to make a choice,
he will choose me, Wayne. I'm his forever and you're just lucky that he still allows
you to be part of his life at all…"

We just both stood there, having, what Jasper would say, was a pissing contest.
Finally, he pulled away with a huff and one last drag of his cigarette, "You got balls,
son, I'll give you that…why did you even wanna talk to me about this shit…"

I pulled back and ran a hand through my hair and taking a breath, "I didn't want
to fight with you, Wayne…I just wanted you to know how much I love your son…how
I think he's the most incredible person I've ever known…and how I will spend every
day of the rest of my life, only trying to make his life better. I will never hurt him or
lie to him…I will only love him with everything I have to give for as long as I live…I
want to marry him because I can't imagine a life worth living without him. I'll make
him happy, Wayne, and I'll keep him that way forever. I was just hoping that he'd
have at least one parent in his corner because as much as I hope that Linda will
continue her relationship with him now that she's in the halfway house…my faith
that it will happen, wavers greatly. You've been consistent these past few years and
I would like to keep it that way. Whatever prejudices you have against our
relationship needs to be dealt with because he needs at least one strong parent in
his life who will love him unconditionally."

Wayne's face softened as he sat back down on the chair, "I do love him…and I
know I ain't exactly been all for you two but…I guess you're plenty strong enough to
survive bein' one of us, kid, so…"

He held out his hand and grinned, revealing deep dimples in his stubbly cheeks,
"Welcome to the family, son."

All the air rushed from my body as I took his hand and gave it a firm shake.

I managed a breathless, "Thanks, Wayne."

- 1083 -
 He shrugged just as Jasper pulled open the door and looked at us questioningly,
"Everythin' okay?"

Wayne laughed as he stood up and walked past Jasper mumbling, "Balls of steel…"

I smiled, "Yes. Everything's wonderful, Jay."

So with everything else said and done, the only thing left was to ask him to marry
me. I had already told my dad my plan so he just smiled as I hurried out the door
well past midnight.

"See you tomorrow, son."

I hopped in my Volvo and blushed as I looked at the passenger's

seat…remembering our first time together…and our hundreds of other times as well.

Pulling down the long snowy drive, the butterflies in my stomach were going
crazy. I briefly wondered if I should've put more effort into this…like maybe I
should've made a grand declaration or something…but really…I think we've had
enough of over the top for awhile and thought that simple would be the best route to
take.

I shoved the ring box in my coat pocket as I pulled on my Santa hat and hopped
out of the car. I walked over to his bedroom window, hoping that the crunch of the
snow underneath my boots wouldn't give me away. I took a peek inside and saw my
Love come through his bedroom door, wet and wearing only a towel.

So, I won't lie…I watched as he pulled it off and grabbed a pair of sweats and a
t-shirt. I was glad he wasn't asleep yet. Once he was dressed, he sat on his bed and
leaned over to his nightstand drawer…I figured he was getting ready for a little
self-love and as much as I wanted to stay and perv on him for awhile…I had things to
take care of.

One more deep breath and I softly knocked on his bedroom window. His blue eyes
snapped up to mine and went wide before a gorgeous dimpled grin graced his face.
Jumping from the bed, he quickly opened the window and jumped back as the cold
hit his freshly showered body.

I easily climbed in and shut the window back before turning to him with his
favorite crooked grin, "Merry Christmas, Jay. Have you been naughty or nice?"

He laughed as he walked over and locked his door, "Hmm…well, Santa, I like to
- 1084 -
think I'm a little of both but I think I've been a little more nice than naughty this
year…"

Walking over, he grinned down at me, "What're you doin' here, Eddie?"

I could feel my cheeks heating already but I pushed the anxiety down and smiled,
"Um…well, I come bearing gifts, Jay."

His arms slid around my waist as he pulled me close, even though I could feel his
skin break into goosebumps from the chill that still emanated off me, "Well now,
darlin', what was so important that it couldn't wait till Christmas morning?"

Looking down at the ground, I fought to keep my breaths even and then I felt his
calloused fingertips slide along my cheek, down to my chin to lift my eyes to the
most beautiful blue eyes I had ever known.

I could do this.

I pulled away gently and smiled as I took off my hat, gloves, and coat. But I held
the box in my hand as I went down on one knee and looked up at him.

The smile was now replaced with a look of complete shock as I reached out and
took his hand in mine.

"Um…I probably should've planned this more but you're really more of the planner
of the two of us…um…I love you, Jay…I've loved you for such a long time that I can't
imagine my life without you…I'm not as cool as you or as smooth but I figured that
really didn't matter in this case because…you love me this way. And I've been
thinking a lot about our future too…and I just don't see the point in waiting…you're
it for me…always have been so I just thought…fuck it, let's get married this summer
before we move to Seattle."

I really should've prepared a proposal instead of just winging it…I cannot believe I
just said, 'Fuck it, let's get married.'

My whole body was on fire now as he just looked down at me, no smile, still in
complete shock.

Shit.

But then he held his fist out for me and grinned, "Fuck it, babe…let's get married."

- 1085 -
 I bumped it and he grabbed it as he yanked me to my feet and pulled me into a
hug. My face hurt from smiling so hard, "Really?"

He laughed as he held me tighter, "Fuck yeah, baby boy…besides, you totally

saved my ass cuz I was plannin' on askin' you tomorrow after Christmas dinner and I
was sure I was gonna fuck it all up…"

Now I pulled back and looked into his sparkling blue eyes, "You were?"

I watched as his cheeks tinted pink a bit as he smiled, "Yeah…I've been savin' up
for like, six months, that's why I've been workin' so much but I finally got your ring
paid for today…"

He pulled away and went to his nightstand dresser, pulling out a small box and
opening it. I was speechless.

It was beautiful. White gold band with the same diamond baguettes from my
grandfather's ring, only this one had small emeralds in it.

He blushed harder, "Um…Brady and Jeremiah helped me pick it out…I thought

the white gold would look good with your porcelain skin and the emeralds reminded
me of your eyes…you've got the prettiest damn eyes I've ever seen…I know it
probably ain't as nice as the one you got me but I promise, I'll get you something
better for like, our ten year anniversary or some sh…"

But he was cut off by my lips smashing to his as I mumbled, "It's perfect…you're
perfect…I love you, Jay…"

I was met with an equally as hungry kiss as he mumbled against my lips, "I love
you so god damn much, Eddie…"

That familiar fire burned hot as shared our declarations of love while stripping
each other bare. I pulled him with me underneath the blanket and his lips never left
mine as he made love to me.

And in those few blissful minutes before sleep would inevitably take me…I thought
about my life and how it had seemed to come full circle.

I was a whole person now…I was no longer the lost, scared boy that hid from the
world but I was a man that loved and was loved by many people.

I didn't know what to expect in the future because one thing I have learned is that
- 1086 -
life can surprise you…but I knew that whatever happened, good or bad, I wasn't in it
alone.

I had faith in who I was and who I loved…I had hope that our lives would be
beautiful, even through the darkest times…and I had more love in my heart than I
ever dreamed possible.

And now these three remained a constant in my life.

Faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love.

A/N : Whew, that was tough. I hope you guys liked it and are not
disappointed. There is one chapter left…the wedding! And I still haven't
found the perfect song yet so feel free to give me suggestions if you know of
any songs that remind you of our boys. Thank you so so much for reading!
Also, I'm still planning a sequel and am taking suggestions for outtakes so
let me know what you wanna see cuz I know some of you are mentally
kicking my ass right now for skipping over that last sex scene. Trust me, you
will get their wedding night in all the kinky details you've come to know and
love. Thanks, guys.

Oh and Eddie's French translation, "Hello Pierre, you missed me, huh?
You're ready for me again, aren't you, Soldier?"

- 1087 -
 Epilogue

Thank you all for so many song recs! I found a few new favorites and some
I'm gonna use in the sequel. I was also introduced to Sean Hayes which I
now love. Many of them really helped put me in the wedding mood!

Songs that put me in the wedding mood are listed on my you tube on the
play list entitled, "Lessons Learned The Wedding."

Songs for the actual wedding: When We Fall In by Sean Hayes, Arabesque
1 by Debussy

First Dance: Tangled Up In You by Staind

Limo ride : Rapture by IIO (I put an awesome video of this on my you tube
Wedding Chapter play list from the movie Latter Days. My friend Maria
recommended it and really, it's such a beautiful love story so I highly
recommend it to you.)

Jay's POV

Isn't life just fuckin' crazy sometimes?

Only a week ago I had been stressin' myself half to death on how to propose to
Edward. Nothin' just seemed big enough or special enough…I mean, I bragged
about how good I am at this romantic shit but I was comin' up with nothin' good
enough for my boy.

Our lives have been so damn dramatic and our love story was kinda crazy so I
didn't know how to top that shit.

And then I kinda wondered if Eddie poppin' up at my window tonight meant that
Carlisle had said something to him…cuz it was only a couple days ago that I had a
little bit of a meltdown in front of him…

I was workin' and he brought in his car to get the oil changed. So I put his car on
the lift and was underneath it, drainin' the oil when he sighed, "Son, have you
noticed that something seems to be bothering Edward lately?"

I cringed a little cuz I knew exactly why he was a little off, "He's waitin' on me to

- 1088 -
ask him to marry me…"

He smiled softly as he rocked on his heels, "Oh, I see…"

He had already known that I was planning on asking Eddie to marry me cuz when
I went to go pick up Jeremiah and JJ to go ring shopping with me and Brady, I pulled
him to the side and just said it straight out, "Carlisle, I'm gonna ask Eddie to marry
me after we graduate this year. And you know me, so I don't think I need to stand
here and tell you how I feel about your son…I know we're young and it's kinda crazy
to get married so young but it seems to me like 'crazy' suits me and Eddie just fine.
So, I'm really hopin' that you'll just give me your blessin' then maybe give me a hug
cuz I'm freakin' out just a little bit…"

So he pulled me into a hug, gave me his blessing, and told me he loved me.

Carlisle had this way about him that caused me to just say exactly what I was
thinking and that's what happened again in the garage …

"Yeah and he's stressed cuz I haven't asked him yet and I really wanna, you know,
but it's like I can't think of the perfect thing to say or do cuz we've been through so
much together that nothin' seems big enough…it's been drivin' me crazy with
workin' and AP Calc and football and tryin' to come up with some super romantic
way to ask him and…"

I took a much needed big breath and slowly exhaled, "I just wish he'd ask me…I
mean, in the beginning I was probably more dominant than Edward in our
relationship but we're like partners now, ya know? Edward's plenty brave enough to
ask me…the boy's never had a problem askin' me anything, even if it's weird or
awkward. I just think if he did it, he wouldn't overanalyze the shit outta it like I
do…he'd just do it. I'm sorry for ramblin'…I'm sure I'll feel better once it's done and
I ain't…I don't have to stress about it anymore…"

I had been workin' on was the way I talked. There wasn't much I could do about
the accent because it had definitely gotten thicker since my stay in Texas and since
Suzie and Jeremiah were around me all the time, but I could control the way I spoke
as far as vocabulary and stuff…I might be just a good ole' boy but I wasn't
uneducated so I needed to work on the way I spoke…especially since I wanted to be
doctor.

Not a doctor like Carlisle though, I wanted to be a children's psychologist because

I think it's somethin' I could be really good at and I wanna help kids.

- 1089 -
 Adam said that I wouldn't have to work in a private practice, like he did, but that I
could work with places like the hospital Edward was at or juvenile detention centers
and Mission's and shelters or for the state…

Carlisle smiled and walked over, placing his hand on my shoulder and giving it a
squeeze, "Son, do you really think it matters to Edward where or how you ask him?
The boy is so in love with you…and you with him and that's all that matters. Now
quit worrying so much, these things always manage to work themselves out…"

I stared at the beautiful sleeping boy in my arms and smiled because Carlisle was
right…shit always seemed to work out one way or the other, maybe not exactly the
way we planned it but our lives had come together nicely.

Bad things still happened, of course, but our relationship was kinda like an
anchor, keeping us strong enough to endure whatever storm blew violently around
us.

Me and Eddie were solid. I was absolutely positive about that.

My phone chirped on the nightstand, and carefully I reached out and grabbed it.

Pretty boy sleepin yet?

It was from Jeremiah. I chuckled and sent a quick message back.

Yep, I got mad skills yo!

Then I noticed the ring box Eddie had sitting on the nightstand and I grabbed it
too, realizing in all the excitement, I hadn't even looked at it yet cuz the boy jumped
me as soon as he saw mine.

Carefully opening the box, my eyes went wide when I looked at the ring inside. It
was almost exactly like the one I picked out except it was gold and had sapphires in
it instead of emeralds.

For a moment, I just thought it was fate…until my phone chirped again.

I'm real happy for you, Cuz…

Thanks, man…and how did you know?

Carlisle told me this morning when I dropped off JJ before work…

- 1090 -
 And the ring that you kept telling me was the perfect one?

LOL, you caught me. Carlisle called me aside right before we went ring shopping
and showed me his daddy's wedding ring…said he was gonna give it to Eddie to give
to you…

Maybe things always seemed to work out cuz we always had a whole family of
mother fuckers pushin' and pullin' for us.

I smiled as I typed the next message…

Thanks, man…good lookin out…

The fact that the ring belonged to Carlisle's dad and I knew how much he
respected and loved his daddy…it made it feel even more special.

Anytime, Cuz…see ya tomorrow at dinner!

Jeremiah had moved out of the Cullen's house into a little rental house on the
same street me and mama used to stay. He wanted to have Christmas dinner at his
house to re-pay them for all they done for him and JJ.

I thought it was really cool of him and I have to admit, Jeremiah had really
shocked me how domesticated he was becoming. He hadn't dated anybody since he
showed up with JJ, he was just throwing himself head first into being the best daddy
he could be and getting his life together. He spent a lot of time on his weekends
usually with Emmett and Rose so the boys could play. JJ and Em J were inseparable
and JJ felt it was his job, since he was two, to teach everything he knew to little Em
J, who was a year younger than him.

I have to admit, there were plenty of times that Edward and I would babysit the
boys and I would kinda pretend that they were ours…I think we'd be really good
parents…a long, long time from now.

The great thing about nephews, you can send them home when they start actin'
up.

But really, the boys were awesome and I loved hangin' out with them.

And tonight I was gonna allow myself to dream freely of a future with my boy and
two or three kids and a dog and a house out in the country…all that stuff I used to
tell myself not to dream cuz I was movin' too fast, suddenly seemed a hell of a lot
- 1091 -
closer...

"Jay? Baby, less thinky more sleepy…"

He smiled against my chest and looked up at me with pretty, tired green eyes,
"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day…"

I smiled back and whispered, "How did you know what I was thinkin'?"

Chuckling as his soft velvet fingertips began tracing a heart over my heart, "I
know you better than I know myself, Jay."

Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I snuggled into my pillow and sighed with
a goofy grin on my face, "Let's pick a date. How 'bout our anniversary?"

He grinned back, "Okay, July 5th…now we have a big day tomorrow with
Christmas and telling everyone…you do want to tell everyone, right?"

I knew I was smiling like a dopey love crazy fool right now but I guess that's
exactly what I was, "Hell yeah, you know Ali and Brady are gonna wanna plan the
wedding and your mama's gonna wanna be in on it too and then, oh we need to plan
a bachelor party or maybe Em or Jeremiah will do that…"

He raised up from my chest and laughed, "Wow, you're really wired right now.
Come here, Love…I know how to put you right to sleep…"

Pulling me into his arms, I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat
as he started running his fingers through my hair.

I fuckin' loved when he did that and it did always put me to sleep.

It wasn't much later when my eyes grew heavy as I mumbled, "Who said that thing
'bout the river?"

I barely heard his light chuckle as I drifted off to sleep, "Pooh bear, babe. Night,
Jay. Love you."

The next day, we told everyone as soon as we got to Jeremiah's house because we
couldn't stand to wait until after dinner.

Of course, they all already knew but they were excited anyway. Brady and Alice
already had ideas and Esme was happier than I think I'd ever seen her. My dad
- 1092 -
hadn't said much so when he stepped outside for a smoke, I went with him. I didn't
need his approval or anything…but I guess part of me kinda wanted it.

"You haven't said much, dad…are you gonna come to my wedding?"

Blowing out a puff of smoke, he smiled at me, "I'll be there, son."

That helped ease the tension a little bit so I smiled back, "Yeah? So you're okay
with everythin' then?"

Laughing, he raised an eyebrow, "Would it matter if I weren't?"

Chuckling a little in response, I took a draw from my cigarette and shook my head,
"Not really…I mean, it wouldn't stop me from marrying him or anything…but I kinda
hoped you'd be okay with it…"

His face grew serious for a moment and then he sighed, "I ain't gonna pretend like
I understand all this…I mean, bein' here is like bein' in a whole 'nother
world…you've got the one little boy that wears nothin' but black…the other little boy
who wears rainbow nail polish and Suzie's blouses…and Suzie's datin' that Indian
boy whose sister's a lesbian and datin' that other lesbian that Ali used to date, which
would make her a lesbian too, only it seems she's here with her new boyfriend…and
then there's Peter whose a good ole' boy like me, even grew up in a time worse than
mine on this shit but he accepts it all so easily…and the boys, JJ and Em J, they're so
smart and happy…growin' up 'round all these different things don't seem to be
hurtin' them none…I mean, yeah I don't understand it but that don't make it a bad
thing…in fact, outta everyone I've ever known, I'd say that you and Ed have a damn
good chance of makin' it…whatever the hell this is, ya'll all seem to make it work so
you got my blessin', son."

I couldn't help but smile now and I reached over and gave his shoulder a squeeze,
"Thanks, daddy."

He patted my hand and smiled back.

So it was kinda awesome to know that I had one of my parents backing me up. It
was a surprise that it was my dad cuz I never woulda pegged him for bein' the one
that stuck around…I never thought he'd actually keep up on meetin' me for dinner
and comin' up at Christmas or stoppin' in on some of my football games…

But I reckon people can always surprise you.

- 1093 -
 Now, mama, on the other hand, I still wasn't so sure about. Yeah, we had been
writin' a lot and talkin' on the phone a couple times a month but now that she was
out and livin' in a half way house, I had my doubts…but I was still hopeful.

So, later on that evening' when my phone rang and it was her, I was curious to
hear her reaction.

I accepted the charges since it was a collect call and took a deep breath, "Hey
mama, Merry Christmas."

"Hey baby, Merry Christmas to you too. Did you have a good one?"

"Yeah, actually it was great. Eddie asked me to marry him this summer 'fore we go
off to school…"

There was a long pause before she laughed, "No shit? That's great, baby boy.
When's the weddin' cuz I can come if it's after June 30th, that's my last day here…"

I let out a sigh of relief and we talked for a little while about the wedding and once
again, I was surprised.

But that didn't last long…

"Oh honey, can I bring my boyfriend to the weddin'?"

"Mama, you're not supposed to be datin' while you're in that house, you're
supposed to be workin' on gettin' your shit together…"

"Jasper, I'm a grown woman and if I wanna man, I can have one…he ain't like the
others…"

I hoped she heard my eye roll, "Oh yeah? What's he do for a livin'?"

I could hear her grunt and knew the face she was makin' right now, "He's in
between jobs right now…just cuz everythin's perfect for you don't mean that the rest
of us ain't got real life problems, son…"

Huffing, I tried to keep my emotions under control as I spoke through clenched

teeth, "Yeah mama, that's the point…you got enough problems on your own, you
don't need to take on anyone else's shit…you need to stand on your own…if
Jeremiah's smart enough to figure this shit out, why can't you?"

- 1094 -
 "Don't talk to me like I ain't the grown up here, Jasper…you're still the kid…"

"Oh yeah? Who's payin' for this call right now, mama? Who's paid for all of them?
How many times did you pick me up off the floor when I was so god damn wasted I
couldn't even walk? Or how many times did you have to walk home from school cuz
I forgot to pick you up? Don't tell me I'm the kid in this relationship, mama…"

"Jasper, I'm really tryin' here to be a good mama, I'm tryin to support you and
your decisions, I know I ain't perfect but you ain't gotta rip me to shreds…"

"I'm not tryin' to rip you apart, mama, I'm just tryin' to get you to listen…you don't
need a man right now…it's not good for you, you're co-dependant and you easily fall
into any lifestyle whatever lowlife you're with is in…you need to learn how to be just
you, mama…not you with some man cuz that ain't ever the real you…you're one of
the toughest women I've ever known…why can't you be strong enough to stand on
your own? You got me, mama…ain't I enough?"

It was quiet for a long minute until I finally heard a sniffle and a barely whispered,
"Yeah, baby boy, you're enough…"

Now I felt bad, "Shit, mama, I didn't mean to make you cry…"

"No, it's okay, baby…you're right, it's just hard to hear sometimes…I ain't seen
you in so long that I forget how much of a man you've become…18 years old, God
where does the time go?"

She talked for just a minute more before makin' up an excuse to get off the phone.
Like I said, I was hopeful with mama but I wasn't sold on her yet.

And it turns out, I was pretty smart cuz mama quit callin' me about a month
before she was supposed to get out. Eventually, I broke down and called the halfway
house and they told me she had been released early and took off with some man she
had met in town. She left no forwarding information.

I wanted to think that she would show up for my wedding but again, I was a realist
when it came to mama and knew she probably didn't know what month it was, let
alone the day.

It hurt and I showed up at Eddie's window that night. He let me cry and rant and
act like a fool before he eventually just held me till I fell asleep.

I snuck out the next mornin' but Carlisle caught me as I came around the side of
- 1095 -
the garage. I told him I was sorry for sneakin' in but it was late and I really needed
to see Eddie…

He just smiled and said that Edward called him after I fell asleep and told him so
he knew that I had stayed the night. Then he asked me how many times I had snuck
in and out of his son's bedroom window and my face turned bright red as I just
smiled, "Does it really matter now?"

He seemed to think it did so I was forced to wash his cars as punishment…but

then he let me take Eddie out for a spin on the Ducati so it was all good.

Now graduation was kinda crazy…the principal sat down with Eddie, offering him
the role of valedictorian but he said he just told him that he appreciated the offer
but didn't really have anything good to say to most the people in that school.

So then he called the next in line…me.

I sat in his office with a grin and a chuckle, "I appreciate the offer, sir, but I gotta
agree with Eddie on this one…unless you want an inspirational speech about how
they can all go fuck themselves, I'd suggest you move on down the line…"

I already had all my final grades and all my credits so I didn't really care. And I
already gotta partial scholarship to the University of Washington. I also got a bunch
of grants and shit cuz my parents were ghetto as fuck so that was cool.

I was gonna use the money my granny left me, to pay for me and Eddie's
apartment for a year so we wouldn't have to stress too bad when we started school.
And I was goin' to put the rest up for when we graduated and were ready to buy a
house…out in the country, preferably.

The wedding was finally all comin' together and I was gettin' more and more
excited every day that passed by. Now after doin' some research, we found out that
we couldn't have an actual "marriage" in the state of Washington. They had
something called "Everything But Marriage", essentially we'd have the same rights
and responsibilities but can't label it as "marriage"…which is dumb as fuck if you
ask me but they never seem to consult me on this shit.

Anyway, we were better off here than a lot of states because they at least
recognize our partnership. We'd have to legally change our names and after sittin'
down and talkin' about it…we decided to use both our names and go by
Cullen-Whitlock.

- 1096 -
 There was a time when I would've just taken his name but I kinda liked who I was
now and I was proud to be a Whitlock…and now I'd be a Cullen too.

We decided to have the wedding in Charlotte's garden. It was actually Peter's

suggestion. We were sittin' on the back porch after dinner one night talkin' about it
when he said, "Why don't you have the weddin' here? In Charlotte's garden. I'm sure
the girls and Brady can fix everythin' up real pretty and I think she would've liked
it…she woulda loved to seen you two boys gettin' hitched and how much everyone's
grown…she woulda loved them two babies, that's for sure…"

The pain of losing Charlotte was still tangible, even after these last few years, it
hadn't dulled a bit. Peter loved us all and he would spend all his days playin' with
EmJ and JJ or showin' Suzie how to play the fiddle or teachin' Brady how to
two-step…but he would spend every mornin' and every night on that porch, watchin'
Charlotte's garden. He said he could still smell her every time the wind blew…still
hear her laugh when the birds would sing or the crickets would chirp…he said that
he still woke up to her every mornin' and she was always the last thing he felt every
night.

I prayed that I'd never have to face life without Eddie…loving someone as much as
I loved him was wonderful but it was also scary as fuck because the thought of
having to live and breathe without him…that shit's terrifying.

But I wouldn't dwell on bad shit and stuff I couldn't do anything about anyway…I
would just spend the rest of my days on this earth, lovin' my baby boy with
everything I had…and if he was right about Heaven…then I'd love him there too.

After much debate on wedding colors (from Brady and Alice, not me and Eddie)
we decided to keep it simple. We'd both wear suits, mine was a dark charcoal gray
with a silk baby blue tie and vest, and Eddie's was a black suit with an emerald
green vest and tie, to match our rings…and our eyes. All the flowers in Charlotte's
garden would provide all the color we needed…blue, green, red, purple, yellow,
white, orange, pink…and I think that suited all of us, cuz we were quite the colorful
bunch…and Brady was excited cuz it held all the colors of the rainbow.

I called Bobbi-Sue and invited her to the wedding and asked her to bring that old
kitchen table, if she could. Daddy offered to pick her up on his way and haul it in his
truck. They hadn't seen each other in a whole lot of years so she accepted.

Once Eddie had told Brady about that table and all the angels I had drawn
underneath it as a kid…he just insisted that we use that for our guests to sign
instead of a traditional guest book, they could all sign underneath one of my Crayola
- 1097 -
angels.

I thought that was a pretty cool idea.

The wedding really wasn't gonna be that big…just family and a few friends. Bella,
Angela, and Ben had said they'd come. Jake said he'd try. Even Seth was still gonna
come along with Leah and Jane. Edward's aunts and uncles on Esme's sides were
supposed to come. My cousin, Brandon, was out of prison and living with my dad
until he could get on his feet. He actually said he wanted to come but couldn't leave
the state since he was still on parole. But I thought it was really cool that he seemed
okay with me. And what surprised me most was when I ran into Tanya Denali at the
drug store and she asked if she could come.

I was skeptical, "Why?"

She smiled a sad smile, "I never hated you guys for what happened, that was all
Maria…and I guess I just went along because sometimes it's easier…but I really
cared a lot about Edward. He was always so sweet to me. He kinda broke my heart
but I was really just a lovesick teenage girl who would've fallen for anyone who was
as nice to me as he was. I've seen him around some these last couple years and he
seems so…happy. You make him really happy, Jasper, and I just wanted to tell him
that I'm sorry for not standing up for him back then…you too, you were always nice
to me…well not always but I guess that was to be expected since you were in love
with him too."

I smiled a genuine smile at her, "Thanks, Tanya. I don't care if you come, just don't
bring Maria."

Laughing, she tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder, "Oh that won't be a
problem. She's living with some guy in California, last I heard. I'm a Junior at the
University of Oregon…I'm just here for the summer actually…"

We talked a few minutes more and I gave her the information so she could come.
When I told Eddie, he was a little worried that she'd go psycho and try to kill me
before I said 'I do', but I assured him that she had grown up a lot these last few
years and it would be okay.

Doc Adam and his husband, Jonathan, were coming. He had been a huge help in
me figuring out what I wanted to do after school. Me and Edward actually had
dinner a few times with him and Jonathan, and they had both become good friends.
And a couple times, Esme and Carlisle joined us too. It was kinda cool to hang out
with the grown ups…but me and Eddie usually played footsie underneath the table,
- 1098 -
so we could hold onto our playful adolescence just a little while longer.

But since it wouldn't be a ton of people, Jeremiah offered to cook and Rose and
Esme were gonna help. He really liked cookin' and had to come clean on his
obsession when I was lookin' through his TiVo and found, like, ten shows from the
Food Network were recorded. He said that he could experiment since he was just
cookin' for him and JJ and JJ would eat anything. But cookin' for our wedding would
give him a chance to try somethin' fancy…

I snickered.

He told me to fuck off.

Then I thanked him and told him I thought it was really cool of him to wanna help.

Then he asked if he could make the cake too cuz he had an episode taped of
nothin' but wedding cakes…

So I asked him if he was sure he wasn't gay…

And he told me to fuck off again.

I loved having Jeremiah around and would miss seein' him damn near every day
when we moved to Seattle.

But I knew we'd come down to Forks a lot to visit, since he, Suzie, Peter, and the
Cullen's would still be here.

Suzie was sure she could take care of Peter and Jeremiah and Carlisle were also
close by should he need anything. Seth and Suzie broke up at the end of the year
before he left for school in California but it was on good terms and they promised to
stay friends.

Brady had graduated with us and was going to the University of Washington as
well. He had luckily gotten almost enough money in grants to pay for it so his
student loans wouldn't kill him.

Alice decided it was time for her to move out of Em and Rose's apartment and into
her own, so she and Brady were planning on getting one in the same building, so
they'd still be close.

Emmett had been runnin' himself ragged between workin' and school but Joe had
- 1099 -
been really proud of how he and Rosalie were managing so he assured them that
he'd still help cover the bills until Em graduated.

Em was majoring in Business, Alice was in Design, Brady was planning on being
an art major, and even Suzie had decided she wanted to be a Vet…so the only
person who hadn't made any solid plans yet about what they wanted to do for a
living, was my baby boy.

So when we were sittin' in my old truck on the night of graduation in his driveway,
I smiled, "Hey babe? Any idea on what you wanna do…ya know, as a career?"

He just smirked for a moment and said, "I don't want to sell anything, buy
anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to um…sell anything bought
or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought,
or processed, or um…repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a
career, I don't want to do that."

I laughed as he quoted the famous Lloyd Dobbler, which strangely enough, he

kinda reminded me of sometimes…and he knew that Say Anything was one of my
favorite movies of all time.

I'm a sucker for a good love story.

Then he just shrugged, "I don't really know yet, Jay. I know that I don't want a
career with insane hours or where I have to wear a suit every day…I don't want to
sit in an office and be bound to a desk…I've been trapped in a single room long
enough to last me a lifetime…I just want to do something where I can be free…I
don't know, maybe something with photography because I love taking pictures…"

That was true, the boy was constantly snapping pictures and our memory book
that I had given him all those years ago, had required several new pages to hold
everything.

"Or maybe writing…I showed one of my journals to Dr. Cohen and she said that I
have real potential. I'm not sure yet, Jay, but when I know, you'll know."

I pulled him close and he snuggled into me.

"You'd be great at either of those things, Eddie. But there is no rush, baby, I'm
sure you'll figure it all out..."

He smiled as he looked up at me, "And since you're going to be a doctor, you'll

- 1100 -
totally support me through my "finding myself" phase, right? Because I don't know
how much money I'll make…it may not be much."

I grinned and winked, "I'll be your sugar daddy, baby."

Laughing, he pulled me close and chuckled, "Well give me some sugar then,
daddy."

Not gonna lie, my cock totally twitched when he called me daddy.

After graduation, everything just seemed like a whirlwind as we finished planning

the wedding and getting everything for school settled…and we found an apartment.
It was just a few blocks from everyone else and within walking distance to school.

We planned on moving directly into it after we got back from our honeymoon. And
when Eddie and me paid for our first place together…the very first thing we did was
lock the door and fuck on the bare carpet floor.

Having our own place was gonna be awesome.

Carlisle and Esme had said that they would take care of moving our furniture
while we were gone…well, it wasn't really our furniture but they gave us their living
room furniture, including that fuck awesome recliner, and Eddie's bedroom stuff.
Esme used the excuse that she really wanted to redecorate the living room and even
after all these years, Eddie's bed was still the most comfortable bed I had ever laid
on…so we were both pretty psyched.

I still wasn't sure where we were goin' for a honeymoon but I knew we were
gonna be gone three weeks…so whatever Carlisle and Esme planned, it must be
pretty damn epic.

And when we get back from our mystery honeymoon, we'll have a couple weeks to
settle in before school starts.

A few days before the weddin', the guys had us a bachelor party and Edward
finally got his revenge on Emmett for the whole pink light saber debacle. That was
the craziest damn night I think I ever had…

But that's a story for another time.

By the time the night before the wedding came, I was a bundle of nervous energy.
I couldn't help but be so fuckin' excited about marryin' my boy and startin' the rest
- 1101 -
of our lives together…

But it was also kinda bittersweet cuz there would be some things I'd really miss
when we moved on…like sittin' on the front porch with Peter and drinkin' coffee in
the mornin'…and the look on a quarterback's face when he realized it was the queer
boy who sacked him so damn hard his helmet came off…and sneakin' into Eddie's
window cuz there was somethin' kinda hot about gettin' caught.

So I figured I'd sneak up there just one more time cuz I hadn't broken Carlisle's
'no sex in the house' rule, and I respect the man more than anything, but I'm
breakin' that shit tonight…I am still a Whitlock, after all.

I picked a single red rose from Charlotte's garden before takin' off to Eddie's
house. Parking down the street, I couldn't help but smile as I walked up the side of
the driveway and 'round to the back of the house…I took the opportunity to breathe
in the crisp night air and listen to the crickets chirp.

And then I started up that old tree…just like many a night before.

Once I reached his window, I kinda melted when I saw him. He was sittin' in the
middle of his bed, in a pair of my old sweats and Lynyrd Skynryd t-shirt. Our
memory book was laid out before him and he had the most beautiful smile on his
face…

I took a deep breath and tried to shake the stars from my eyes before softly
knocking on his window.

He jumped but then looked over and if it was possible, he grinned even bigger
before jumping off his bed and running to the window.

Throwing it open, his cheeks became flushed as he whispered excitedly, "Hey Jay."

I smiled and whispered back, "Hey Eddie."

Then I pulled out the red rose and he blushed even deeper as I looked into his
eyes and spoke in a hushed whisper, "Did you know that the red rose symbolizes a
deep love and respect…passion and devotion…"

Reaching out, his long slender fingers slid over mine and wrapped around the
stem, "Yeah actually this really hot guy told me that once right before he took me on
my very first date…"

- 1102 -
 Smirking, I let him take the rose while I snaked my arm around his waist and
pulled him closer, "Oh yeah? Sounds like a smart guy…you better marry that boy."

He grinned as he leaned into my ear and whispered, "Oh he is a smart boy, in fact,
he's going to be a doctor…and I certainly intend on marrying that boy in just a few
short hours from now…"

My body shuddered from his breath on my ear and he laughed softly before
pulling away, "Get in here, Jay, before I lull you into a sex induced stupor and you
fall from that tree…because a broken leg will not excuse you from showing up
tomorrow…"

I laughed now as I hopped in through the window, "Baby boy, there ain't a thang
on this earth that would keep me from marryin' you…"

He gave me a cocky grin, "Yeah I know…" Then he turned and I swear the fucker
sashayed across the room to his bedroom door. Raising an eyebrow and smirking
seductively at me, he turned the lock and just like that, we were 15 again…this shit
was on.

We met in the middle of the room, our bodies becoming entangled immediately as
my hands went to his ass and his went to my hair, our lips and tongues drinking
each other in.

I mumbled a quick, "I'm fuckin' you tonight…"

And he responded with a soft grunt.

Stumbling around the room as we yanked off t-shirts and my shoes got tossed
somewhere before his sweats and my jeans went flying…finally, we tumbled to the
bed, naked and hard and just fuckin' desperate…

Somehow, we managed to eventually work our way underneath the blanket…but

we were already a sweaty, panting, shivering mess and I couldn't wait any longer…

Reaching blindly for his nightstand drawer, so I wouldn't have to pull my lips from
his, I felt around until I found the familiar bottle of lube.

I pulled it back underneath the blanket and quickly coated my fingers before
pressing one…then two inside him. He gasped and broke from the kiss with a low
moan as I tickled his magic spot.

- 1103 -
 I smiled and whispered a breathless, "Shh, baby…we gotta keep quiet…"

Nodding, his arms wrapped around me tighter and pulled my lips to his again as
he mumbled, "Kiss me…so I don't…scream…"

So I did just that as I got that sweet little ass ready for me…but truth be known,
that sweet little ass was always ready for me.

We had sex usually at least once a week, sometimes more so I didn't have to prep
him as much as I used to but I still liked to take my time with him.

I kept slowly grinding my hard cock against his as I finger fucked him and he
reached down and took both of our heavy cocks in his hand and began stroking
them.

Now I broke from the kiss with a, "Oh fuck that feels good, Eddie…"

He smiled as he panted, "Quiet, Love…mom and dad downstairs…"

I may have growled just a little bit before taking his lips again to keep me from
screamin'…

When I couldn't take any more, I eased my fingers out and sat back on my knees
before taking the lube and coating my cock and his ass.

He laid there, beautifully flushed and stroking his pretty cock as his legs spread
wide open for me.

There has never been a thing more beautiful than my boy, ready to take my cock
deep inside that tight, sweet ass of his…

I leaned back down over him, one hand on the mattress beside his head as my
other one held my dick at his entrance. In one slow steady push, I buried myself
balls deep inside that perfect ass and then held still a moment for him to adjust…cuz
it didn't matter how many times I dicked him down…I was still rockin' a solid nine
inches and that shit ain't easy to take…I know, cuz Eddie's rockin a good eight and a
half…

Yes, we measured.

He held onto my forearms and I kept my weight off him for a minute while he
drew in deep breaths to keep from screamin' out…then he started moving against
- 1104 -
me and I dropped back down to his lips again as I began slowly moving in and out of
him with long deep thrusts…just a little to the left…

I swallowed his scream as my dick went straight to his magic spot like a heat
seeking missile. I swear, I could fuck this boy in my sleep and still know exactly
where to hit to make him see stars.

My hands slid into his as I held them down by his head, and fucked him hard but
slow…that was my favorite. And I rarely got the chance to really fuck Edward for
hours anymore like I did when we first started…but that all changed tomorrow.

That thought alone brought me close to cumming so I let go of his hands and slid
one of mine down to his ass and squeezed as I rolled us over so he'd be on top.

He didn't break the kiss as he took over and I bent my knees and planted my feet
onto the bed so I could meet his thrusts and fuck him back. That change in position
would hold me off for a little longer…but then he broke from the kiss with a soft
breathy moan and leaned back on one hand while his other wrapped around his
cock.

Holy shit…

There was no way I was gonna hold off much longer now…Edward had always
been a beautiful boy…but now…he was a fuckin' gorgeous man…

I watched his stomach muscles tighten and I gripped his hips hard as the lines and
creases of his chest glistened with a light sheen of sweat…

The moonlight poured in from the window and illuminated his pale skin and that
only brought out the red in his hair and the dark scarlet of his lips…the deep, rich
green in his lust filled eyes did me in and I rasped out, "Fuckin cum for me, baby…"

My eyes rolled back and my toes curled as I came hard inside him, and it only
intensified when I heard his soft gasp and felt warm thick ribbons shoot across my
chest.

He collapsed on my chest, not giving a second thought to the sticky mess,

shivering and shaking as he came down. I held on tight and started drawing circles
on the small of his back as he whispered a shaky, breathless, "Love you, Jay…"

I whispered back an equally shaky, breathless, "Love you, Eddie…"

- 1105 -
 But he was already fast asleep, so I reached over and grabbed the baby wipes
from his drawer…he claimed they were for when the boys were over but they were
awesome to clean up jizz in a pinch.

We both had some in our vehicles too.

That's the last thing I remembered…until a soft knock on Edward's door woke me
up and I heard Carlisle's voice, "Edward? Son, it's time to get up, today's the big
day…"

Edward shuffled off top of me, "I'll, um…be down in a minute, dad…"

We quickly got out of bed and I grabbed my clothes dressin' as fast as I could
while Eddie did the same…

"Oh, and Jasper, you might as well use the front door, son…"

Eddie and I both just stopped dead in our tracks and looked at each other. Then
he just shrugged and giggled, "I don't know how the hell he does that…"

We got dressed and made our way downstairs. Carlisle was sitting at the kitchen
table reading the newspaper while Esme was pouring some coffee.

I could feel my cheeks heat up as I scratched at the back of my hair,

"Uh…mornin'…"

Esme smiled and came over, giving me a kiss on the cheek, "Good morning,
sweetheart."

Then she did the same to Edward and smiled, "Are you boys all packed and ready
to go?"

We nodded and Edward whined a little, "Where are we going for our honeymoon,
mom?"

She just laughed as she turned to go sit at the table with her husband, "You'll find
out soon enough, dear. Now let's get to it, boys, there's a lot to do today."

I gave Eddie a quick kiss and smiled, "I'll see you in a few hours, babe."

"See you soon, Love."

- 1106 -
 I said my good byes and Carlisle snickered, "You boys are sooo lucky you're
getting married today because I should be grounding you both for breaking my rule
last night…but instead, I'm going to just walk you down to your truck, son, and have
a little chat…"

I wasn't scared…he just wanted a cigarette.

So, we walked outside and started down the street to my truck as I handed him
one, "Here you go, Carlisle…"

He smiled and took it as I handed him a light, "Thanks, son." Taking a deep drawl,
he exhaled slowly, "Are you nervous about today?"

I took a drawl from my own square and shook my head, "Not really
nervous…excited about it finally bein' here…"

Nodding in understanding, we stood there for a moment until he spoke again, "I
want you to know how proud I am of you, Jasper. You've grown into an incredible
man. Before you came into our lives, we all prayed for you every single
night…Edward just wanted one real friend and Esme and I just wanted someone to
realize how special and wonderful our son is…then you came along and changed our
lives forever…"

Smiling a warm smile at me, he continued, "You saved our son, Jasper…and then
you became our son…I had never met a boy quite like you before, all foul-mouthed
and rough around the edges but just one look at the way you treated Edward was all
I needed to know that you have a heart of gold. You reached him in ways that Esme
and I never could…you opened him up to love and took away his fear…and the way
you care for him just spreads itself out to those around you and wraps around them
as well, tying us all together…you gave Esme and I the family we always dreamt
about…Emmett, Rose, Brady, and Alice all gravitated towards you…you just have a
draw to you, son…and now we have Em J and JJ and Suzie and Jeremiah…our family
is big and complex and so full of love…you're going to be an incredible doctor, the
way you touch people's hearts and souls…I love you, Jasper, and I'm so excited that
today, you officially become ours as well Edward's…although, you've been ours since
the moment you walked through that door…"

Now I was all teary eyed and shit as I threw down my cigarette and pulled him
into a hug, "Thanks, Carlisle…and just so you know, I prayed for you guys too. You
and Esme and Edward saved my life…I mean, I'm gonna be a fuck…freakin'
doctor…I woulda never had the courage or thought I was smart enough to head
down this road without you guys…if I'm as good as you say I am, it's only because
- 1107 -
you all didn't judge me as a loser like everyone else always did…it's because you
made me wanna be good…all I ever wanted was a family and you guys gave that to
me…"

I pulled away and we both wiped at our eyes and smiled sheepishly at each other
before I sighed, "Carlisle, you're really somethin' special…the way you just take
people in and help them…the way you love us all unconditionally and guide us down
the right paths…you were the first real man I ever met…and I just hope I can be half
as good as you cuz that's more than most people will ever be…Eddie used to think of
me as Superman but I always kinda thought of you like that…so, thanks man…and I
love you too, Big Daddy C."

And then he pulled me into another hug.

When he parted, he ran his fingers through his hair and smiled, "Well, we'll see
you soon, son. Good luck today."

I smiled because I knew I didn't need luck…

I had faith.

I had faith that even if we tripped or forgot our vows or everythin' didn't go just
right…it'd still be perfect because at the end of the day, I would be married to
someone that I loved in a way I never even knew was possible.

I swear, I fuckin' whistled on the way home cuz I was that damn happy.

When I got there, it was already crazy with Brady, Suzie, and Alice runnin' around
fixin' ribbons and flowers, gettin' chairs and tables ready. We were gonna have the
ceremony in the garden and then the reception was just set up around the garden in
the grass and under the trees.

Jeremiah was in the kitchen slicing fruit, Em J was in a highchair eating slices of
watermelon and cantaloupe and JJ was sittin' on top of the kitchen table eating his
fruit. I smiled and grabbed JJ up, swingin' him high in the air as he giggled and I
laughed, "What did your daddy tell you, boy, bout gettin' outta your chair?"

He laughed hysterically as I held him upside down, "He said he was gonna tan my
hyde…but my butt's already tan, Uncle Jay…"

I laughed as I pulled him upright and sat him on my hip, "Well that's cuz you won't
keep your swimmin' shorts on in the baby pool, JJ…I think it's in your genes…"
- 1108 -
 He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted, "It's a big kids pool…"

I smiled and tugged on his puffy bottom lip, "I know, buddy…it's only a baby pool
on the side that Em J sits in…"

That seemed to satisfy him but then I heard Em J, "Me, Jay…me…"

I turned and saw him with his chubby little arms raised and his hands opening and
closing as he bounced and tried to get out of his chair.

"Uncle Jay's comin' little man, hold your horses…"

I had a sticky JJ on one hip as I undid Em J's seat with the other and pulled him
into my other arm. He offered me a bit of his gummed up watermelon, "Nummy?"

I shook my head and laughed, "No thanks, buddy, you eat it…"

Then I looked at Jeremiah and sighed, "I can't believe they both suckered me into
pickin' them up when they're sticky and gooey…"

He just raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Uh huh…I bet they ain't the only ones
you dirty son of a gun…you're comin' back from Eddie's, huh? The night before the
weddin'…have you no shame…"

Shaking his head in mock disappointment he turned back around and continued
gettin' the food ready.

I took the boys into the living room and plopped down on the couch, "Uncle Jay's
gettin' married today…"

JJ looked up at me with big blue eyes, "But I thought you and Uncle Eddie was
already married like 15 years…"

I laughed and Em J looked around and shrugged his shoulders, "D, at, Jay?"

Smiling I shrugged back, "Eddie's not here right now…"

He started opening and closing his hands again, "D bye bye…"

"Yeah, Uncle Eddie's bye bye right now but he'll be here soon…"

Rosalie walked into the room with a red bikini top on and a towel wrapped around
- 1109 -
her waist, her blonde hair piled on top of her head in a loose ponytail, "Hey Jay, just
coming home from Edward's house?"

I grinned, "Yup."

She smirked as Em J held out his hands to her and started squirming off my lap,
"You're so bad."

She took Em J and laid him down on the floor to change his diaper and I just
smiled, "Yeah, he digs that about me…"

Rolling her eyes, her smile gave her away, "You've been hanging around your
cousin too long…"

Jeremiah walked in and JJ now squirmed outta my lap and ran to his daddy, "Hot
damn, woman! You ever decide to get rid of that big bear of a husband you got, I'm
your man…"

She just laughed and smirked up at him, still looking like a god damn beauty
queen as she lathered Butt Paste on Em J, "Please, cowboy, you couldn't handle a
woman like me…"

And then Em came walking into the room wearing only a pair of swim
trunks…now he isn't exactly my type but you can't help but notice that he's one hot
fucker.

He playfully slugs Jeremiah in the shoulder, "Quit hitting on my woman, asshole…"

Rosie looked up at him and scolded, "Language, Em!"

He smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, baby…"

Then when she turned her head, he hit him again and mouthed the word 'fucker'
to him as they both laughed. This wasn't a new thing. Jeremiah often teased Em and
Rose and they both just knew how he was and that he didn't mean anything by
it…that's just…how he was.

And it was no secret that even though Jeremiah hadn't dated anyone since he
moved here, he was not shy of options. He was always getting hit on…at the grocery
store, at the park, at the gas station…he claimed it was because of JJ making him
irresistible but the truth was, he's just a natural born flirt. He flirts with everybody.
Hell, he even flirts with Eddie and Brady sometimes just cuz that's what he does. He
- 1110 -
doesn't mean any harm by it, it's just his nature.

JJ now ran over and put his arms around Rosie's shoulders while she sat on the
floor with Em J, and buried his face in her neck, "You love me better than daddy and
Uncle Em, right Aunt Rose?"

She wrapped her arms around his little body and gave him a hug and a kiss on the
cheek, "I sure do, baby."

Then she picked both boys up and walked past Em and Jeremiah, "I'll be in the big
kids pool with my boys."

I swear, JJ lifted his head from her shoulder and smirked at his dad and Uncle Em
as she carried them out.

Jeremiah laughed, "See? He gets all the chicks…"

It was true. The boy was gonna be ten times worse than his daddy.

I finally made it into the shower and took my time, letting the hot water work out
my muscles.

When I got out of the shower and made it to my room, Brady was there, sitting on
my bed with his legs crossed and a very dark blush on his pretty caramel cheeks as
he saw me with only a towel wrapped around my waist.

"What's up, Brady?"

He cocked his head to the side and smiled, "I wanted to catch you before you got
dressed…"

I smirked, "I bet you did…"

His cheeks got even redder but he pursed his lips into a sassy little smirk, "While I
would love to sit here and ogle you a little while longer…I am here on official
wedding business. Now what underwear are you planning on wearing with your
suit?"

Okay, now my cheeks were heating up a little, "Uh…I don't know…just a pair of
boxers probably, why?"

Huffing dramatically, he stood from the bed, all graceful and shit with his hands
- 1111 -
on his hips, "This is your wedding day, Jasper. I think it calls for something special.
Now I've leant my services to Edward and I do believe you have been thoroughly
grateful for my involvement in his undergarment selection…so I thought you may
want to extend your soon-to-be husband the same bit of gratitude and wear these…"

He grabbed a small bag on my bed and pulled out a pair of…what the hell are
those? They're baby blue and some kind of meshy, see-through material…

I take the piece of material and look at it for a moment and I can feel my cheeks
getting even redder now, "Uh, Brady? I don't think my dick will fit in these…"

He just smiled a cocky little smile, "Don't you remember the first time you saw
Edward in those little tight black briefs? Don't you think he would like to see you in
something so sexy on your wedding night? You'll never have this night again, Jay…"

Then he walked over and placed his hand on my shoulder as he looked off into the
distance and sighed dramatically, "Picture this…you're in the limo on that long two
hour drive to Seattle to the hotel and you're making out, hot and heavy with that
beautiful bronze husband of yours…he unbuttons your shirt and loosens your tie as
he kneels in between your open legs…placing soft wet kisses as each new piece of
your exposed chest comes to view…slowly, he works his way down and long slender
fingers are popping open the button on your dress pants as he looks up at you with
lustful grass green eyes…so slowly, he begins to slide those pants down and you lift
your hips to let him…and he's excited, Jay…his breath is coming out in shallow pants
against your lower abdomen and you can feel the warmth from the gasp as he lays
eyes on Pierre, hard and pulsing through the thin baby blue mesh…I'm talking about
rapture, Jay…an overwhelming transcendent state of euphoria…"

Then he let out a big breath and a shaky laugh as he pulled his hand away and
began fanning himself with it, "Whew…well, that little fantasy really got away from
me there…"

Yeah, it sure as fuck did cuz I had to turn to hide the semi I was now sportin'
beneath the towel.

I took a big breath and slowly exhaled, "Okay, point made, Brady…I'll wear
them…"

He giggled and clapped, "Yay! You boys are going to have the best wedding ever!
Okay, so I've still got like, a million things to do, but in one hour, I will be back to
give you a manicure…"

- 1112 -
 I turned and saw the smaller boy giddy as he bounced to the door. I sat on my bed
and took the underwear, "Hey Brady?"

He turned at the door and smiled sweetly, "Yes, Jasper?"

I smiled back, "Thanks, man. Thanks for puttin' so much into this wedding and
making everything perfect…I appreciate it. You're a really good friend."

He beamed back as his cocoa eyes glistened, "You don't have to thank me, Jay. I
just feel so honored to be included in this…it makes me feel special to be part of
what you and Edward share…the way you love each other is just so…beautiful…"

Then he walked over and smiled down at me as he took my hand, "When I was a
little boy, Leah used to let me borrow her Disney princess movies because my
parents wouldn't buy them for me. I would imagine that true love and handsome
prince's existed and that one day, I would find my own. But then I got older and lost
all my friends…and I lost my parents way before they kicked me out…I didn't believe
in any of it anymore…and then I met you and Edward. I'm not a young boy anymore
and I know that no prince will ever come and sweep me off my feet…but thanks to
you, I do know that true love does exist and if I open myself up to it, one day I'll find
my soul mate. All of you, have shown me that true love is very real and I won't waste
my time throwing myself around to men that are undeserving of me…I'm going to
hold out for true love. So, thank you."

He gave my hand a squeeze as he leaned forward and kissed my hair, "Now, I

must go and put the finishing touches on this fabulous wedding of yours…you just
get dressed and look gorgeous and marry your true love today…that's all the thanks
I need."

He started to walk away again and I called out, "Hey Brady?"

Once again, he turned and smiled, "Yes, Jasper?"

I smiled back, "I love you, man. And how did you know about Pierre?"

A gorgeous smirk graced his face, "Edward tells me everything, Jay…and I love
you too."

Taking my sweet time, I got dressed in the dark pants and went out back for a
smoke before I put the rest on. Peter was sittin' on the old porch swing watchin'
everybody runnin' around the yard, getting everything ready.

- 1113 -
 He smiled, "Hey there, son. Everythin' sure is comin' together just fine, huh?"

I laughed as I pulled out a cigarette and sat down on the bench to the side of him,
"Yeah, I think it's best to just stay outta Brady and Alice's way…"

Now he laughed, deep and rumbling, "I swear, I'm gonna have to take a nap 'fore
the weddin' cuz watchin' them two run around here is wearin' me out…"

We sat for awhile and watched them before Peter finally did go in to take a nap.
The hours were ticking down and before I knew it, it was only an hour till it began.

I was starting to get nervous when Jeremiah walked into the kitchen where I was
sitting catching up with my dad and Bobbi Sue who had just gotten in, "Yo,
Jay…Brandon sent ya somethin…"

He handed me a large envelope and I quickly tore it open to find a drawing. I'll
admit, I lost my breath for a moment because it was amazing.

It was of me, him, Jeremiah, Ethan, Caleb, and Suzie when we were little. It was
drawn from a picture I remembered being taken when I was eight. Me, Jeremiah,
and Brandon had our arms slung around each other's shoulders as we grinned with
dirty faces and clothes from playing outside in yard. Ethan and Caleb were making
bunny ears on each other and Suzie was dancing in front of us with a halo of
wildflowers Brandon had strewn together to make her look like a princess.

I smiled as I looked at us…we've come a long way…most of us anyway. I mean,

here I was, getting ready to get married and go to college, Jeremiah was an amazing
daddy to JJ and living a real good life here too, Suzie was the best player on her
softball team and got the lead as Sandy in the musical Grease that drama club put
on last year…plus she was doing really well in all her classes. Now I hadn't spoken
to Ethan or Caleb, but my dad told me that Ethan ran off to Southern Cali with his
girlfriend, Selena, and Caleb was still hangin' with the wrong crowd and getting into
trouble. And I did actually talk to Brandon a couple times since he got out last
month. Him and Jeremiah were real close and shit so it was pretty easy to start
talkin' to him again.

I excused myself for a minute so I could go out on the back porch and call him.

"Hello?"

"Hey B, it's Jay…"

- 1114 -
 "Hey what up, Cuz? Today's the big day, you excited?"

I smiled and pulled out a cigarette, "Yeah, I'm startin' to get a little nervous
though…"

He laughed, "Ain't no reason to be nervous, son…from what you and Jeremiah told
me, he's a good guy. Ya'll are gonna be happy together and look at you, gonna be a
doctor…I'll tell you what, I ain't ever met that boy but after seein' what he's done for
you and then his mama and daddy helpin' out Suzie and Jeremiah like they did…it
don't sound like you could do no better."

Sighing happily, I smiled, "Yeah, he's pretty perfect and his mama and daddy are
so good…I'm really happy. Thanks for the picture, by the way, that's insane how
much detail you put into it…it's really good…"

He chuckled again, "Weren't no thang, little Cuz…I didn't have much to do in the
joint but work out and draw since I ain't much of a reader…you really think it's
good?"

"Yeah, dude, it's amazing."

"Cool. Thanks, man. And, uh, don't be nervous, okay? I wish I could be there, I
ain't seen you in forever. Maybe ya'll could come visit me sometime? Like Spring
Break or somethin? I'd like to meet this boy that straightened your wild ass out…"

I smiled, "Sure, man, I think we could do that. So, daddy tells me you got a job…"

"Oh yeah, finally, it seems like it took me forever…it ain't nothin' big, just
construction but at least it's somethin…I'm hopin' I can get my own place soon…"

We talked for a little while longer and by the time I got off the phone, my nerves
were settled. It was just a few minutes now so I went to the bathroom just to take
one more look at my hair and shit to make sure my baby boy got the full effect of the
fine mother fucker he was marryin'…

I grinned in the mirror…

Yeah, I looked damn good…

The dark charcoal gray of the suit looked good against my skin and the silk baby
blue vest and tie made my baby blue eyes pop…I finally understood what Esme
meant by that.
- 1115 -
 Em walked into the bathroom in his suit and tie…he was really pretty cute when
he was all dressed up. He clasped a big hand on my shoulder and smiled, "It's about
that time, Jay. You ready for this?"

I smiled, "Yeah. Is Eddie here?"

Nodding, he straightened his tie, "Yeah, Brady's with him. I gotta admit, the boy
looks good today, Jay."

That was a given…

"Okay, I'm ready. You got my guitar?"

"Yep, it's waiting on the left side of the garden by your entrance…"

The plan was, that he would start walking in on the right side of garden down the
little dirt path while I came in from the left and we would meet in the middle…but I
had come up with a plan of my own that was way more my style than simply walkin'
to my boy…

I took my place on the outer edge of the garden and grabbed my guitar, taking in
deep breaths while I waited for my partners in crime to show up. Jeremiah walked
up with JJ and Em J in tow, fully decked out in matching little black suits and white
vests and ties.

I figured instead of flower girls, we'd have flower boys.

They both had little white wicker baskets that were supposed to be filled with
different colored rose petals…but Em J's was filled with Cheerios.

I raised an eyebrow and Jeremiah shrugged, "Sorry, man, he kept tryin' to eat the
flowers…"

JJ smiled as he held up his basket filled to the brim, "Don't worry, Uncle Jay, I got
this…"

Shaking my head and laughing, I held out my fist, "Thanks for havin' my back,
little man…"

He bumped it and grinned, "Uncle Eddie's gonna be so happy…"

I grinned back, "Yeah I think he will be…"

- 1116 -
 Jeremiah let out a breath and set the boys down. JJ held Em J's hand and he
guided the smaller one, "Okay, Em J…you gotta walk with me like a big boy, k?"

Em J offered him a Cheerio. He was a good sharer.

This was gonna be fantastic if we pulled it off.

"Okay, Cuz, everyone's seated and ready to go."

Even though I was sure I already knew the answer, I couldn't stop myself from
asking, "Hey, um…did you see my mom anywhere out there?"

Flashing an apologetic smile, he shook his head, "No, man…but it's your weddin'
day so don't you let that bitch bring you down today…"

I nodded and let out a breath, "I won't, Cuz…okay…let Brady know I'm ready. I'll
wait for the music to start…"

He took off and I waited there with the boys.

Edward was expecting some soft classical music to start playing but I decided that
this would be way more fun…

I heard the first few drum beats hit and JJ held Em J's hand as they started walkin'
out in front of me, Em J eating Cheerios while JJ tossed petals up in the air. I started
strummin' my guitar as I looked over to the other side of the garden to see my baby
boy lookin' my way with wide green eyes and a shocked but happy smile on his face.

Then I started singin' as all my close family and friends echoed my words exactly
like they were supposed to…singing out loudly and making Edward throw his head
back in laughter.

"I…"

"Am…"

"In…"

- 1117 -
 "Mmm…deep with you, darlin…"

I continued singin' and playin' the guitar as Em J now started bouncing up and
down on his stubby little legs, dancin' as went.

"I…"

"Am…"

"In…"

"Mmm…deep with you, darlin…"

Everyone was laughing and smiling and I could see Edward's eyes lit up
beautifully all the way on the other side of the garden.

The boys danced in front of me and the crowd was bobbin' their heads and tappin'
their feet.

Edward had a little bounce in his step as we came a little closer.

I winked at him as I sang, "This moment unlocks door after door…"

As soon as JJ and Em J saw him comin' closer, they both took off runnin…

"Uncle Eddie look at my pretty flowers…"

Edward laughed as he scooped both boys up in his arms, "Are those for me?"

JJ smiled, "Uh huh, Em J tried to eat 'em…"

Em J just offered Edward a Cheerio, "Nummy?"

Edward's grin was gorgeous as he shook his head, "No thank you, baby, you eat
it…"

I tried my best not to laugh as I sang and watched my beautiful boy dancing down
that dirt path to meet me with those two boys in his arms, bobbing along to the

- 1118 -
music. By the time I finally walked those last few steps and he walked his, we were
standing in the front of the garden under an old white trellis arch covered in rose
moss and pretty different colored roses.

Rose ran up and grabbed the boys as she whispered, "Sorry…"

Edward whispered back. "Why? That was awesome…"

She smiled as she took the boys and quickly went back to her seat, in between
Jeremiah and Emmett, handing JJ over to sit on his daddy's lap next to her. Alice was
on Jeremiah's other side, then Brady, then Suzie. Em J reached for Esme, on the
other side of Emmett and Carlisle was next to her. Everyone else was scattered
around but we could always count on those guys to be front and center in our lives.

Now without all the distraction, I looked into Eddie's pretty green eyes and sang
the last few lines, "I'm in so deep with you, darlin…my love, my love, my love…"

His cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright green as his crooked smile lit up his
face. I handed my guitar off to Em and grabbed Eddie's hands, "Fancy meetin' you
here…"

He laughed as he threw his arms around my neck and whispered, "I was so scared
that I would trip or something, walking down the path…I've been so nervous…but
you made me dance…I love you so much, Jay."

Holding him tight I whispered back, "I love you too, Eddie. Ain't nobody here but
you and me, darlin…so keep them pretty green eyes on mine and don't be
nervous…I've got you. You ready for this, baby boy?"

Pulling back and letting out a breath, he smiled and nodded, "Yes. I'm ready,
Love."

God, he looked gorgeous in his black suit and dark green tie and vest. My boy
cleaned up like a god damn model…

I really was one lucky mother fucker…

Everyone seated was settling down now and the official we chose got ready to
begin. He was a chubby old man with a charming smile and very little hair but he
was a good buddy of Peter's and a real nice man.

He gave us a soft smile and nod. With one last deep breath, we nodded back and
- 1119 -
turned to look at each other.

And everything around me kinda faded once I got lost in those pretty green
eyes…all the nervousness melted away and I noticed that he was lookin' at me the
same way.

"From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And
when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of
light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are here today to celebrate the joining of two
souls…Edward Anthony Cullen and Jasper Wayne Whitlock…"

He gave us a small smile before he began again, "Now I've lived a very long life
and I've seen a lot of things…and I had my reservations about performing this
ceremony, having never performed anything like this before…but as a favor to my
dear old friend, Peter, I decided to meet these two young men and hear their
story…"

"Now like I said, I've been around a long time and I know love when I see it…and
in this day and age that simple little word gets thrown around recklessly without
most people ever fully realizing what it truly means to love someone…love bears all
things…believes all things…hopes all things…endures all things…"

"Love never ends…"

"And this, my friends, is only the beginning of yet another chapter in the love story
these two share and will continue to share forever and ever…let us bear witness to
the vows of commitment and devotion they will take before us today…let us
remember their beginnings. Their story is simple…two lost souls who were destined
to find one another…friends into lovers…but even a simple story has many twists
and turns because life has many twists and turns and bumps in the road…the only
constant in this crazy life is the bond we share with those we love…it's that bond,
that love, that binds us together as friends…as family…"

He nodded and motioned that it was time to begin our vows, "Edward…"

Feeling his soft hands tremble in mine, I ran my calloused thumb in small circles
over his knuckles and smiled as I whispered, "Wanna ditch this shindig and just run
away together?"

Chuckling quietly, his green eyes sparkled as he whispered back, "No…I'm part
- 1120 -
Whitlock now which means I don't run and I don't hide…"

Fuck yeah…my baby boy…

Smiling up at me, he squeezed my hands in his and spoke with confidence,

"Jasper, you are my best friend…my one and only love…there is not one good thing I
can ever remember learning in life that you are not responsible for…you taught me
how to face my fears and how to stand up for myself…you gave me your strength
when I felt weak and your courage when I was afraid…you carried me when I
couldn't stand on my own but you never stopped encouraging me to get back up on
my feet…"

It was takin' every ounce of strength I had to keep from leanin' over and kissin'
him…

"There's a poem that reminds me of us…'Love is like a friendship caught on fire:

In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and
flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals,
deep-burning and unquenchable'…we became friends almost instantly and
somewhere along the way all the flickering sparks caught fire…"

His face titled down now as a soft pink blush came to his cheeks, "I never told you
this but I was in love with you before you ever confessed it to me. The first time you
kissed me was the single most memorable experience of my entire lifetime…I can
admit now that about a week after we met I kind of watched you kissing all these
different girls and I found myself imagining for the very first time what it would be
like to be kissed…but every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was you being on
the other end of all those kisses…"

Looking up at me now, a shy smile came to his face as he squeezed my hands,

"When you suggested that I practice kissing you, I was terrified that I would be
really bad at it and ruin any chances I might have of kissing you again…because
really…kissing you is always the most forefront thought on my mind…"

I laughed and he chuckled a little.

I still wanted to kiss him.

"But even more important than teaching me how to kiss or play basketball or
throw a decent left hook…you've taught me how to be comfortable in my own
skin…how to be proud to be just exactly who I am and that guys like us can afford to
be a little cocky…"
- 1121 -
 He smirked at me as he bright green eyes looked right through me, "There really
are no words to express just how deep my love for you is…how hot that fire
burns…so let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth…"

Bible verse…I was gettin' pretty good at recognizing them…

Letting go of my right hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out my ring.
Sliding it on my finger, he looked up at me and smiled, "I place this ring on your
finger as a symbol of my constant faith, abiding love, and belief that I was chosen to
live my life with you. From this day forward, just like all the days before, I will hold
you when you cry and I'll have your back when you hustle people in pool…I'll
encourage you to be the real you…the you that sometimes only I know…I will listen
when you need to vent and I'll hum Winnie the Pooh to make you laugh…I bring to
you the very best person that I can be. So, stay with me, learn with me, live by my
side. Forever and ever."

My heart was already pounding in my chest and when he leaned into my ear and
whispered, my whole body shuddered…

"It will always be you and me against the world, Jay…I love you."

Shit, I do not wanna cry…

So I thought, 'Fuck it…'

Turning my head to the side, I brought my hand to his cheek and took his lips to
mine. A small gasp left his lips until they quirked into a smile as he kissed me back.
Vaguely, I could hear the giggling and gasps around me but I didn't care.

Edward's lips kept me grounded and I had to do something cuz I felt like I might
just float away…

And my self control has never been the greatest…especially when it comes to
Eddie.

A moment later I pulled away with my triumphant smile meeting his dreamy one.
The officiant just chuckled, "Ah…young love…"

Edward and I both giggled for a minute and I could feel my cheeks heating up but
I was ready to get through my vows so I could kiss him again…cuz the next time I
kissed him…he'd be my husband.

- 1122 -
 Now he held my trembling hands as I began my vows.

"Edward, I love you. You're my best friend…when I first met you, I was an angry,
bitter little boy who lashed out at the world because I wanted someone to love
me…and then you came along and accepted and loved me for just exactly who I
was…ya know, I used to daydream about runnin' away with you and keepin' you all
to myself but I've come to see how incredibly selfish that would be cuz to keep you
locked away from the world is a travesty…you touch so many people's lives…you
inspire them to be strong and forgiving and fearless…you inspired me to believe that
I was more than just the loser that everyone had written me off to be…you made me
wanna be good…"

Unable to resist, I raised my hand and brushed my calloused fingertip underneath

his wet eyelid as I cradled his cheek. He let out a breath as he melted into my
touch…

"Eddie, you saved me from myself…all the happiness that I know now, is because
of you…cuz when my mind races too fast, all it takes is one look into your pretty
green eyes and everything else just…stops…nothing matters to me but keepin' a
smile on your gorgeous face. All that we've been through and will continue to go
through, only reminds us that what we've got is so damn special…no one can touch
us, baby…it'll always be you and me against the world. And if I'm a
superhero…you're totally my Robin…"

He started laughing as he pulled away and smacked my chest, "I am not Robin,
ass…"

Now my eyes filled up with happy tears as I laughed and held my hands up, "Okay,
dude, you're not Robin…but still, we could, like, start our own Justice League…"

JJ piped in now as he bounced in his daddy's lap, "Oooh I wanna be Batman, he's
the best one…"

And then Brady laughed, "Well, I could totally rock Wonder Woman's red boots…"

He held out a fist to JJ and they bumped as everyone laughed.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Edward chuckled, "Oh my God, I'm marrying a
geek…"

I grabbed his hand and leaned in close as I whispered, "Shh, now

darlin'…everyone else thinks I'm really cool…only you know that I'm really a total
- 1123 -
dork…"

I held his left hand as I took the ring from my pocket and felt all the air leave my
lungs again. I closed my eyes and tried to reign in my nerves but then I felt his soft
fingertips brushing the curls behind my ear, "Breathe, Jay…"

And just like that, I could breathe again.

My eyes opened and got lost in his as I spoke quietly, "Eddie, what could I possibly
say to you that you don't already know? You know how I feel about you…you know
that I could never love anybody the way I love you…you know that I meant it when I
told you that it would always be your hand in my hand…forever and ever. So, I place
this ring on your finger as a symbol of my constant faith, abiding love, and belief
that I was chosen to live my life with you. From this day forward, just like all the
days before, I will dance with you in the rain and play with you in the snow…I will
sing with you in the kitchen and keep you awake at night talking in my sleep about
sex and hot wings. And you will never ever be lonely again, baby, cuz I will be your
faithful companion forever and ever."

Leaning into his ear, I whispered a quote from that brilliant fluffy bear, "If you live
to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day so that I never have to
live without you. I love you, Eddie."

He threw his arms around me, laughing as he whispered, "I know you do, Jay. I
love you too."

And everyone was just gonna have to wait a minute for me to hug my boy…

Eventually we parted and looked at each other with red eyes and matching grins.

The official spoke again, "Your journey began with a kiss and now a kiss will begin
the next chapter of your lives together, united as one, partners for life…"

I chuckled and leaned into Edward whispering, "Partners in crime…"

He smirked as he gave me a fist bump, "Hell yeah…"

I took his face in my hands as his wrapped around my back, "C'mere, baby boy…"

And we kissed for the very first time as husbands…and it was fuckin' awesome.

When we finally parted everybody was hootin' and hollerin' and Eddie and I were
- 1124 -
both grinning so big that our faces would surely hurt later on…but there wasn't a
thing in the world that could take that grin away today.

And the next few minutes were spent in a daze as people congratulated us and the
reception began. We kept it all very simple and did just kind of a backyard barbecue.
Jeremiah was responsible for the food and he still gotta chance to try a few fancy
side dishes to go along with hamburgers, hot dogs, and ribs.

There were some tables scattered around with candles and wildflowers, even
some honeysuckle. My hand had never left Edward's as we gripped each other for
dear life while we walked around and talked to people.

Soon, it was time for us to cut the cake and Jeremiah outdid his self. The cake was
two tier and for the topper, it was a little kid Pooh and Tigger figurine. And the little
Tigger was pouncing on the baby Pooh as their noses touched…

But then on the bottom tier were the words, "Congratulations, Pierre and Pedro."

Edward gasped and looked at Brady, "You told Jeremiah?"

Brady turned red and shook his head, "No, um…I told Suzie…"

Now Suzie smiled sheepishly, "And I told Jeremiah…and Alice…"

It was Alice's turn and she rolled her eyes, "I told Rose and we all know that Rose
told Em…"

Emmett broke out into laughter, "Yeah, dude, that's some of the funniest shit I've
ever heard…"

I couldn't help but start laughing and Edward grinned as he just shook his head,
"My friends are all loud mouthed perverts…"

Alice giggled as she nudged Eddie in the ribs, "That's why we all get along so
well…and that's why you love us all so much…"

His cheeks were bright red as he relented with a grin, "Yeah, I do…"

Everybody ate and just talked for awhile and before I knew what hit me, I was
having one of those moments where my mouth was movin' but my mind was
somewhere else completely…

- 1125 -
 A few minutes later, Eddie was draggin' me around to the front of the house. He
sat down on the porch with his feet dangling off the ledge as he looked up at me
with wide eyes, "What's up, Jay? Your mind is a million miles away right now…"

I took a deep breath and when I released it, I just sat down beside him and started
rambling, "Do you think I'm gonna be a good husband? I was a good boyfriend,
right? I mean, I know I'm kind of a dick sometimes but over all, I'm pretty good,
yeah? I just…holy shit, dude, we're married…"

He looked at me in amusement as the corner of his mouth quirked up into that

perfect crooked grin, "We are. Are you already having regrets?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled back, "Fuck no, babe…I guess I've just been dreamin'
of this day for so damn long that it's hard to believe it's really here…"

Grinning, he pulled my cigarettes from his pocket and handed them to me, "Here,
I grabbed them from Jeremiah…you look like you're jonesing…"

Pulling a packet of honey from my pocket, I exchanged with him and we sat there,
me smoking and him sucking on that packet of honey.

I wrapped my free arm around his shoulder and he leaned into me, sighing
happily.

"Hey Jay?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Our sex life won't go to hell now that we're married, will it?"

I smiled as I looked down at the prettiest boy I ever seen, "Are you kiddin' me
babe? I'm gonna pretty much be nailin' you every chance I get…"

And I'll be damned if that sexy mother fucker didn't crawl right over and straddle
my lap. My hands grabbed onto that tight little ass as his hands tangled in my curls,
"You promise, Jay?"

Pushing up into him, I pulled his hips into mine as I whispered, "I fuckin' swear,
Eddie."

His lips crashed to mine and things were getting pretty hot when I heard Carlisle's
voice, "I should've known…I swear you two are like rabbits…"
- 1126 -
 I jumped to my feet…only problem was that Edward just tightened his legs around
my waist and came with me.

I held him for a second before I whispered, "Put your feet down, Eddie…"

Flames shot to his cheeks as he mumbled, "Oh, right…"

Slowly, he dropped his feet to the ground and laughed, "Sorry, dad."

Carlisle just smiled, "I should scold you for sneaking off from your own reception
to make out on the front porch…"

Esme walked up and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Oh hush, dear, we
didn't even make it out of the parking lot at the City-County Building, remember?
Like father, like son apparently…"

Carlisle grinned as he looked off in the distance, obviously remembering, "Ah, yes,
we got cited for indecent exp…"

She interrupted him with a nudge to the ribs, "Anyway, it's time for your first
dance, boys…"

After the smoke and some lovin' from my man, my nerves were feelin' much
better.

Eddie and I held hands as we walked around to the back of the house and to the
open patch of grass deemed the dance floor. We danced to 'Tangled Up In You' and
the words rang very true.

Everybody else started dancing on the next song and it was hilarious to watch as
the songs rolled by and the partners changed…

We danced with all our girls and Brady…hell, me and Eddie even sandwiched him
at one point. And I laughed my ass off when Carlisle danced with Edward.

Then when he asked me to dance, we had a little battle for who got to lead but I
finally relented cuz he was Big Daddy C, after all…

And then I hugged him when I realized he really was my daddy now…

Em J and JJ joined us on the dance floor…grass…whatever, and the boys were

having a blast being handed around to everybody.
- 1127 -
 Then as the nighttime began to settle, the boys and Janey's little girl, Gracie,
started chasin' fireflies while the grown ups just hung out, had a few beers, and
chilled.

And I giggle to myself as I realize I've just thought of me, Eddie, and our friends
as the grown ups…

Carlisle was okay with us drinkin' a little since we were gonna be takin' a limo to
the hotel…and really, after our wild ass bachelor party, there wasn't much he could
say…

After coppin' a sweet little buzz, I pulled out my guitar and sang a couple country
love songs for Eddie and then he talked me into playin' "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors
Down again cuz that's one of his favorite songs I ever sang him…

Things started winding down and people started leaving until it was just the
family left. We talked about our plans for school and our futures until we saw that
limo comin' down the old dirt road to pick us up.

Em and Jeremiah took care of our luggage while all the women, and Brady, fussed
over us with hugs and kisses and plenty of happy tears.

It seemed like it took us forever to say good bye but then Eddie was yankin' me
into the limo as he laughed, "We'll see them in three weeks, Jay, so get your ass in
here…"

Finally, the door closed and the limo pulled off as I let out a big breath, "Wow,
baby, that was per…"

But I was cut off by scarlet lips and my beautiful husband straddling my lap in the
wide seat. He swallowed my moan as my hands went to his ass and his began
pushing my jacket off my shoulders.

I shrugged out of it as his fingers loosened my tie and made quick work of the
buttons on my shirt and vest. Once my mind caught up to him, I was workin' on the
buttons of his shit as fast as I could cuz suddenly, I couldn't get the boy naked fast
enough.

I got his jacket off and his tie loose but only a few buttons of his shirt before he
got my shirt open and started sliding down my body, kissing and sucking and biting
as he went. I groaned as my back arched when he nipped at my nipple before
swirling that fuck awesome tongue around it.
- 1128 -
 My hands tangled in his hair as he descended lower and lower until he was on his
knees on the floor in front of me, eagerly yanking my slacks down over my hips. I
lifted them and when he finally got them over my cock, he paused and whispered,
"Holy shit…"

Then he pulled out his phone and sent a text message.

I was a little frustrated so I whined, "What the hell are you doin, Eddie?"

He grinned up at me, "Just sent a quick 'thanks' to Brady…he sent back this…"

Holding up his phone I saw a smiley face with it's tongue sticking out and I started
laughing, "That fucker promised me rapture for wearin' these damn things so put
away the phone and get to suckin'…please…"

He threw down the phone and laughed as he teased my thighs and stomach with
little licks and nips, "Bossy, bossy…but that's okay, Jay…because I'm fucking you
tonight."

I loved cocky forceful Edward…

My cock twitched as his lips wrapped around it through the mesh material and his
tongue lapping at the sticky tip before slowly peeling them off. Soon, I was
completely naked and his shirt and vest were unbuttoned as he took my dick down
his throat with a warm wet moan.

He gave it to me just the way I liked it…sloppy and wet with lots of moaning and
rubbing it all over his face…I fuckin' loved how dirty my boy was…

And he knew the number one rule for givin' bomb ass head…enjoy suckin' it…cuz
that's what always made it so fuckin' good was that I could tell he wanted to do it as
bad as I wanted it done.

All the while, I felt his fingers inside me as he prepared to fuck me.

It didn't take long until I was moanin' out his name as I came against his parted
lips and watched him lick the sticky mess like it was the best damn thing he ever
tasted.

As I was recovering from my high, he was pulling out a stash of baby wipes in
door of the limo and cleaning his face. I grinned as he pulled out some lube, "You're
a damn fine soldier, Edward…always prepared and shit…"
- 1129 -
 He grinned back as he yanked his pants down to his knees and started rubbing
lube on his pretty cock, "You taught me well, Obi Wan…"

I laid back onto the seat as he crawled up on it and in between my legs, "Hey that
reminds me…did you pack the pink light saber?"

Chuckling as he leaned over and positioned himself at my entrance, he smiled,

"Yes, Jay…I also packed the cuffs, the geeky glasses, the paddle and the
blindfold…you ready for me, Love?"

Wrapping my arms around him, I leaned up and kissed his soft lips, "I'm always
ready for you, baby…"

Slowly pushing himself inside me, the pain and the pleasure shot through me as I
gripped his shoulders and pulled his lips to mine.

A few strokes later and the pain gave way to mind-numbing pleasure as he
pounded me into the seat and killed my fuckin' sweet spot over and over…

He was moaning into my mouth and mumbling against my lips as his hips became
erratic, "God, I've been…waiting all damn day…for this…oh, fuck…love you,
Jay…fucking love you so much…"

I returned his moans and sentiment as I grabbed his ass tried to pull him even
further into me.

Moments later his head dropped to my shoulder and his lips trembled against my
neck as I felt his cumming hard deep inside me.

I was hard as fuck again and wasted no time, in fear that he would be passed out
in seconds if I didn't react fast.

So the minute he pulled out, I was on my knees, pulling him up on my thighs and
switching our position so that he was pressed into the back of the seat with his legs
wrapped around me.

He gasped but held on as he panted for air and soon I was dragging his slacks
down legs and dropping everything to the floor…except his shirt and tie stayed on,
just unbuttoned as I grabbed the lube and got us both ready.

When I finally began pushing my dick inside that hot little ass of his, I was a goner
as I fucked him hard and relentless against that seat. He cried out my name as he
- 1130 -
fisted damp curls and I gripped his ass hard as I pulled him down onto me while I
thrusted up inside him.

I knew what my boy liked…and he liked to be fucked hard and rough…so that's
what I did…biting on his neck and surely leaving finger sized bruises on that pretty
porcelain ass.

And when I was gettin' close, I switched positions to hold myself off as long as
possible. First, I pulled out and grabbed a handful of that damp bronze hair and
growled as I pushed him down, "On your fuckin' hands and knees, Eddie…"

He smiled dazily as he complied, wiggling that perfect ass at me while he looked

over his shoulder with that "come fuck me" smile I knew and fuckin' loved.

I smacked his ass and smiled while I coated my cock with some more lube, "You're
askin' for it, baby…"

He laughed breathless as he wiggled his ass again, "I'm begging for it, Jay…fuck
me, baby…fuck me hard…"

Never one to say no to my boy, I grabbed his hips and pushed inside him, always
slow at first until he began pushing back into me and I knew he was ready to get
exactly what he wanted.

I fucked him hard, pulling him back as I slammed forward and he screamed my
fuckin' name as I pounded into him for all I was worth.

I spread his knees wide apart and grabbed the back of the seat with one hand and
his shoulder with the other as I pressed him into the seat with long, deep strokes
until I was seein' fuckin' stars…

I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him up with me so that I could
start jerkin' his pretty, hard cock while I came deep inside his hot tight ass.

The feel of him clenching around me helped me ride out my orgasm as he came in
long white spurts across the leather seat.

Then we heard a voice over the intercom, "We're at the hotel, sirs…"

We looked at each other with wide eyes before I grabbed his phone and looked at
the time, "Holy shit, dude, we've been fuckin' for two hours!"

- 1131 -
 Edward pressed the intercom button and giggled, "Um…could you maybe drive
around the block a couple times, please sir?"

"Of course, sir."

We were both laughing as we tried to speed dress and get cleaned up as much as
possible until we were finally walking into the hotel.

Apparently we didn't fool anyone cuz the nice young lady who checked us in,
smirked at our obvious freshly fucked appearances, "Long drive here?"

Eddie blushed and I smiled, "Not long enough…"

After we got settled into our room, we took a long hot shower together and loved
one each other some more before finally falling into the big, comfy bed. Edward
grabbed the package we received from Carlisle and Esme, "Are you ready to finally
see where we're going on our honeymoon?"

We opened the box to find plane tickets to Italy, Paris, and Amsterdam, travelers
checks, hotel reservations, and car rental information.

There was a letter that we eagerly opened and Eddie read aloud.

"To our sons, we love you both more than you'll ever know. From the beginning of
our lives together, we prayed for a family and one by one our family grew. Today we
watched as our grandchildren played and it was you two that brought them all into
our lives. We are blessed to call you our children and proud to watch you begin your
lives together on a new journey. Take with you, all of the lessons you have learned
and remember this…we are with you always and our love for you will never end.

Love, Mom and Dad

P.S. Your mother doesn't know I'm writing this but I wanted to say a few
things…first, I didn't tell her that I bought the tickets to Amsterdam so if you
wouldn't say anything until you came back, I would appreciate that. I went once in
college and highly recommend The Grey Area…you only live once so why not
experience all the world has to offer.

Second, a few words of wisdom from your old man…don't take life too seriously
because none of us make it out alive anyway.

Laughter is the best medicine.

- 1132 -
 Pick and choose your battles and don't sweat the small stuff.

Have fun on your vacation because when you come home, real life continues again
and we all know how crazy real life can be.

I love you boys.

P.S.S. When you do finally mention Amsterdam to your mother, maybe you could
throw in that you visited the Van Gogh museum and the Anne Frank house so that
she sees the educational experiences you gained from the trip…oh, and you really
should go see them, they're quite moving. Love you."

I laughed, "Fuck, man, I love your mom and dad."

He smiled, "They're your mom and dad now too, Jay."

And he was right. I had a mom, two dads, a grandpa, lots of brothers and sisters,
and even a couple nephews…cuz Edward told me once that family wasn't made of
flesh and blood but of heart and soul.

So, finally after a long night of love making with my beautiful husband, he lay
there sleeping in my arms as I curled myself around him and couldn't wait until
morning when the next chapter of our journey began.

I've learned a lot of things in my life but it all comes down to this…

Life ain't easy and life ain't fair…but sometimes it's really fuckin beautiful…

And true love stories…never end.

A/N: Holy shit, we made it! I really have to thank you all for sticking with
this story for the better part of two years…through all the twists and turns
and fluff, I think the boys are finally on top of that mountain again. I hope
you guys enjoyed them because I have just had the most fun writing them. I
am still planning a sequel that will begin at the end of their college careers
and begin with their adult lives.

I'm gonna try and wrap up DnC and get a chapter or two ahead for
MC…I've also been thinking about turning DDDT into a short story so give
me a month or two for the sequel to begin. Also, I am still working on
outtakes so there will be plenty of those. Let me know if you wanna see
anything specific…oh, and there will be an outtake of their bachelor party
- 1133 -
because I'm a perv and can't resist the thought of Carlisle, Edward, Jasper,
Emmett, Jeremiah, and Brady at a gay bar. Again, thank you for coming
along for the ride and I hope you enjoyed it.

Oh and if you wanna see a pic of the cake topper and kinda what I pictured
the garden scene to look like, take a look on my Facebook…

- 1134 -
 Author's Note

Hello there! So, I've had several people ask me if I could put this story into a pdf
form for them or if they could print it out…so the answer to both of those questions
is yes. I have put the story up on the Issuu website where you can read it in book
form, download, or print it. Of course, it's absolutely free, so no worries there. I did
have to break it into two parts cuz seriously, it's close to 1000 pages. The links are
on my profile page.

Holy fuck, I wrote almost 1000 pages for this story and still wanna write more. I
love these boys and all the characters so thank you for enjoying them with me and
hopefully you'll still love them in the sequel and outtakes.

The first outtake should be up in the next few days and it was a request from my
girl Roxanne on FB. She wanted to see Jeremiah's POV of when Jay was sleep talking
about Eddie and he figured out that his little cousin was gay.

Of course, Jeremiah is a talkative son of a bitch so there are also some musings on
his life and shit…

Anyway, I love you guys so much and appreciate you all sticking with me.

Again, the links will be on my profile page…and let me know if you find any errors
cuz I tried to make it look all nice and shit. Oh, and I added a Table of Contents and
deleted the A/N's but kept the music playlists so hopefully it will look nice and neat.

Thanks!

- 1135 -
 Chapter 54

***IMPORTANT A/N PLEASE READ***

As many of you know FF no longer allows mature stories on their site.

They've recently decided to delete and no longer allow the good stuff like
graphic sex (which is why most of us began looking for Twilight FF anyway
cuz if we wanted 'fade-to-black and torn up pillows we would've just reread
Twilight)…

Anyway, due to this recent fuckery I will be moving my stories from

FanFiction. Well, I'll actually be removing all but the first chapters and any
updates on currents stories will be links to my new homes.

I'm moving to The Writer's Coffee Shop and An Archive of Our Own. The
links are on my profile. That being said, I'm not happy about it. I love FF and
would gladly stay here but after seeing several friends lose their profile, I
just gotta go.

I will be continuing my Lessons Learned companion story, The Thing

About Falling on the other sites. And in a few months, I will be starting the
LL sequel. I'll drop an update here to let you guys know when that happens.

I wanna thank you guys from the very bottom of my heart for sticking with
me for the last three years, some who followed me from my het days, four
years…I really hope you follow me as I venture off to another site cuz I'm
nowhere near done writing yet.

If you have any questions, feel free to pm me. Don't forget, links to my FB,
Twitter, and other sites are on my profile as well as link to the PDF's of LL.
I'm still under the name mistyhaze420 on both sites.

Oh and I created a little teaser banner for the sequel if you're interested.
The link is on my profile.

I love you guys.

Peace out J

Misty

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