1

PORTFOLIO
PARAGRAPH WRITING

BY :

IIN ADISTI
194020

THIRD SEMESTER

STBA PRAYOGA PADANG

 2

PREFACE

First of all, Thanks to Jesus Christ because of the help and blessings that I can complete
my portfolio of paragraph writing subject exactly at the pointed time. Then thanks also to my
parents who have supported me, to my friends who were being discussion parters, and to all the
lecturers especially to Mrs. Dian Purnama Sari who is paragraph writing’s lecturer in semester
three.

The purpose of this portfolio is about revision of all my paragraph writing assignments
that given by Mrs. Dian Purnama Sari as lecturer in paragraph writing subject. In arranging this
portfolio, I really get lots challenges and hindrances, but because of support of many
individuals, I can do it well. I also realized there are many mistakes in my process of writing this
portfolio, bacause of that I says thank you again to you all individuals who helped me in the
process of writing this portfolio.

I hope that through this writing, both readers and myself can continue to learn and
improve our abilities in writing. I also hope from this writing I can continue analyze every
mistake in writing as a from of learning.

Love,

Iin Adisti
 3

PREFACE

DAFTAR ISI......................................................................................................................3

My self

Original & Revision version..............................................................................................4

My family

Original & Revision version..............................................................................................5

My idol

Original & Revision version..............................................................................................6

Narrative text

Original & Revision version..............................................................................................7

Expository text

Original & Revision version..............................................................................................9

Persuasive text

Original & Revision version..............................................................................................10

Quiz text

Original & Revision version..............................................................................................12

 4

Orginal version :

My Self

My name Iin Adisti and I am 21th years old. I was born on January 17th, 1999 and I live in Pasaman
Barat, West Sumatra Province. Currently, I am studying at STBA Prayoga Padang and attending third
semester. The major that I took in my campus is English Literature. One fact that I have, I did not like
English before. However, my vision that makes me to love English. 

Revision version :

All about My Self

Hi, I am Iin Adisti and I want to tell about my self to you. I am a girl who is born in Selat Panjang
at 17th January 1999 and now my age is 21th years old. Pasaman Barat is my hometown because my
parents from that. I am a person who have yellow-white skin and medium black hair. I am also not tall
girl because my heigh is about 150 cm and my weight is just about 45 kg. I hope, I still look cute with this
heigh and weight. I have black color eyes and one dimple in my right-cheek. And then, I have several
moles on my neck. Now, I am studying at STBA Prayoga Padang and attending third semester. The major
that I took in my campus is English Literature. I take this major because I want to speak English well.
Now is a modern era and speak English well is so important for me. Personally, surfing in the internet is
my hobby. I like open my social media just to entertain my self, but I am not a person who is like tell my
story-life in social media. I just think that it is not necessary for everyone to know about our life story.
We have to protect our privacy. The color that I love is black. I do not know why I like black. I just think
that it is a simple color that can suit with other colors. Some people also said that black is due with my
character and I mean it is true enough. Last of all, I am a person who have consist personality. People will
find it difficult to change my opinion if they do not have a strong and good reason when we are in a
debate . I mean that is all about my self that can I share with you. It is a joy to be able to share some fact
about me to you.
 5

Original version :

My Unique Family

Hi, I am Iin adisti and I will tell you about my unique family. Why do I call my family unique?
Because in my family there are two religions; Catholic and Islamic. My mother and my step-father are
Muslim, while my brothers and I are Catholic. Even though we have different religions; but, we always
live in peace. There was never a problem in my family regarding religion. We always support and take of
each other. That is about my family and I think, it is so beautiful to live in a difference.

Revision version :

My Unique Family
Every family has story that is being the specialty of their family. It is like my family. My family
is unique because in my family there are two religions, those are Catholic and Islamic. My mother and my
step-father are Muslim, and then my brothers and I are Catholic. I am sure that all of you should be
wondering why it could happen. In advance, my brother and I were born in Catholic family, because my
mom and my father have separated and they chose to live separately. Finally, my mother chose to remarry
with a Muslim. From the marriage to my step-father, my young brother was born.

Initially, my young brother is a Muslim too. He was follow the religion of my mother and my
step-father, at least he choose to embrace Catholicism like me and my big brother. People must think that
it is difficult to live when experiencing like what I have. However, it is not as difficult as they imagine.
Lost of fun things that happen in my family. One of that is we can celebrate two major holidays in a year,
namely Christmas and Eid Mubarak, and how nice it is. Even though we have different religions, we
always live in peace. There is never problem in my family regarding religion. We always support and take
care of each other. And the last it is about my family, so I think it is beautiful to live in differences.
 6

Original version :

My Idol

     Hi, I am Iin Adisti and I want to tell about my favorite idol in my life. She is my mother. She was born in
Pasaman on 3 June 1970. I really idolize her. I love her body and literally love her personality. She has fat
body; but, it makes her look more younger than her age. Her height is about 153 cm and she has black wavy
hair. Her personalities that I always admire are she is a patient person, wise, independent, and one who does
not immediatly get angry when her son or daughter makes a mistake. She is a person that full of solutions, like
she can repair a small demage of cabel and she also has fixed juicer machine that broked. For me, she is the
best women in the world. Someday, I want to be like her when I have become a mother.

Revision version :

My Idol
I am sure that everyone has someone who they idolize. Personally, I also have someone who I
idolize and she is my mother. My mother was born in West Pasaman at June 3 rd, 1970. She has fat body,
but it makes her look more younger than her age. She also has black-short wavy hair and her heigh is
about 153 cm. at the age of 50 years, she still a hardworking, kinds, wise, and patient person. She really a
person that has mazing personalities. She once told me about her school days in the past, where she had
gone overseas to continue her study. While, in junior high school, one of my grandfather's acquaintances
took my mother to the Padang city and that person would send my mother to school. My mother
immediately agreed and she could go to school without asking for fees from her parents. However, while
living in the house of the family that sent her to school, my mother did not necessarily become lazy.
Without being asked, she did any housework that she could do, from cooking to helping look the children
of the parents that had helped her.

Since childhood, my mother is a very extraordinary person. Even until she has children, she is
still a wonderful mother. One of his personalities that I really want to be an example is that she never
wants to judge her own son or her daugther. When her children are facing problems resulting from their
children's actions, she are not people who come to scold, but person who advise heart to heart and then
provide a solution. She is really a very patient and kind mother. Therefore, I want to be like her now and
in the future when I have children.
 7

Narrative Text

Original version :

Naughty Child

I have a shamming experience, it was when I was child. I do not remember how old I was, but I
did not go to school yet. In the past, I was like the “Bolang” who greatly loved adventurous. I went to the
fields of the people with my besties in the blazing sun just to dig up young corn to be made into a doll. I
mean you know if the corn has hair that is like barbie’s hair. Somewhile, we often enough went to river
just swam there and made our bodies fresh like orange juice in the blazing day after we were pleased
playing in the field. Actually, my parents clamped down me to toke a bath in the river. They said that the
dangerous thing could happen such as the big water came on suddenly, but I was a dissident child at that
time.

It was on Sunday morning, maybe around 9.00 to 10.00 am. My friends and I got together to went
to the river. It did not more time for us to went to the river immediately. We all swam under the bridge
and we holded on to a large branch that stucked in the riverbed. It was around thirty minutes we all swam
until my mom came there and called my name suddenly. I shocked and the atmosphere became very tense
when my mom called out to me in an angry tone and made all of my friends got clap out. My mother told
me to get up to the surface and I immediately went out of the river. After I brought my clothes, I came
over to my mom right away. Only wore underware and sleeveless shirts, I walked in tears because my
mom pulled my ear. Besides from the pain that I felt, I also had to endure embarrassment all the way back
to home; and then,my brother and his friends also saw me from a distance. It was my embarrassing
experience that I will never forget. Since then, I have not swam in the river until now.

Revisin version :

Naughty Child
I have a shamming experience, it was when I was child. I do not remember how old I was, but I
did not go to school yet. In the past, I was like the “Bolang” who greatly loved adventurous. I went to the
fields of the people with my besties in the blazing sun just to dig up young corn to be made into a doll. I
mean you know if the corn has hair that is like barbie’s hair. Somewhile, we often enough went to river
just swam there and made our bodies fresh like orange juice in the blazing day after we were pleased
playing in the field. Actually, my parents clamped down me to toke a bath in the river. They said that the
dangerous thing could happen such as the big water came on suddenly, but I was a dissident child at that
time.

It was on Sunday morning, maybe around 9.00 to 10.00 am. My friends and I got together to went
to the river. It did not more time for us to went to the river immediately. We all swam under the bridge
and we holded on to a large branch that stucked in the riverbed. It was around thirty minutes we all swam
until my mom came there and called my name suddenly. I shocked and the atmosphere became very tense
 8

when my mom called out to me in an angry tone and made all of my friends got clap out. My mother told
me to get up to the surface and I immediately went out of the river. After I brought my clothes, I came
over to my mom right away. Only wore underware and sleeveless shirts, I walked in tears because my
mom pulled my ear. Besides from the pain that I felt, I also had to endure embarrassment all the way back
to home; and then,my brother and his friends also saw me from a distance. It was my embarrassing
experience that I will never forget. Since then, I have not swam in the river until now.

When I got home, my mother immediately bathed me in the bathroom. I still cried when I
brushed my teeth. I really embarrassed when I remembered the incident that I just experienced. After
finished the shower, my mom replaced me with clean clothes. Then, she took a plate of rice and a fried
egg to eat for me. And then, after ate, my mother took a razor blade and began to carefully cut my long
nails. She also told me about her reason why she forbade me to swam in the river. She reminded me about
her reason why she forbade me to swam in the river. I was still sobbing when my mom cut my long nails
and told about it, even though I was not crying anymore. I think it was my embarrassing experience that I
will never forget. Since then, I have not swam in the river until now.
 9

Expository text

Original version :

Why we must removing makeup before going to bed.

Make up usually uses by woman and there are some reasons why we have to remove our make up before
going to bed.

Firstly, make-up is made of various chemicals that can cause irritation to the skin, especially for long-
term use.

Another reason is when we fall asleep at night, old skin or dead skin regenerates. If we still use make-up,
the regeneration process is hampered.

It is very important to remove make-up before going to bed in order to maintain healthy skin because
healthy is more expensive than the make-up that we use.

Revision version :

Why We must Removing Make-Up before Going to Bed

When we are talking about make-up, directly we will connect it with women because generally
women use make-up. However, make-up use by men too at this time and it is being one of the styles and
trend in this era. There are many types of make-up that can be used, make-up for eyebrows using an
eyebrow pencil until make-up for lips, namely lipstick. In the case, there are many things that are
considered, such as the combination of colors, materials, and types of make-up until sequences in the use
of make-up. However, there are many things that are no less important than all, that is taking care of the
healthy skin due to long term use of make-up. So, there are two reasons why we must removing our
make-up before going to bed after using it all day.

Firstly, make-up is made of various chemicals. In making make-up there are so many chemicals
mixtures that maybe does not safe when we use for short period of time, but it will irritate the skin if not
cleaned properly. One of chemicals that contined in make-up is mercury. Mercury is often misused for
face and skin whitening creams or lotions. The heavy metals contined is mercury are very dangerous. And
even in small concentrations, mercury still have toxis properties. That way, it is very important to choose
the type of make-up that is safe and especially very important to clean make-up before going to bed after
using it all day.

Another reason if do not removing make –up before going to bed at night is that make-up can
prevent skin cell regeneration. At night, the skin regenerates from dead skin cells into new skin cells.
Hence, make-up that has been cleaned will inhibit that regeneration. As a result, it can cause a buildup of
make-up and dead skin cells. So that, the skin becomes unhealthy. The characteristics of unhealthy skin
include a dull, rough, and appearance of many skin problems such as blackhead and pimples.

In conclusion, if we look around us, many examples of negligence due not to removing make-up
bed properly. We need to know that if we do not remove make-up cleanly, it can cause very dangerous
 10

diseases such as skin cancer. Therefore, it is very important to pay attention to the use of make-up and
how to care for thr skin, especially how to remove make-up properly. So that, skin health is maintained.
And so, let’s take care our skin health from now before regretting it later because health is expensive.

Persuasive text

Original version :

Problems from Lack of Sleep

Main idea :

Some problems from lack of sleep.

Reason 1 :

Lack of sleep can cause increase stroke risk and heart attack.

Reason 2 :

Lack of sleep can cause difficult to think and concentrate.

Conclusion :

It is very important to regulate sleep patterns and maintain sleep time for a healthy body on the

sidelines of a busy life. One way if you do not have enough time to sleep at night, we can replace it

with sleeping during the day.

Revision version :

Problems from Lack of Sleep

Sleep is an important that must be met by our body. However, for some people staying up at night
is commonplace. This is because many professions require flexible working hours or night shifts. In
addition, there are also those who stay up late to do assignments or just play online games. If the next
moring, we have to do some activities, so we must cut our sleep time. And then, if this is done frequently,
it can affect to our health. So, there are some problems from lack of sleep.

Firstly, sleep can cause increase stroke and heart attack. According to study published in the
journal Neurology, people who are a customed to sleeping less than eight hours per night have four times
higher risk of stroke than people who sleep regularly. A new study from the American Heart Association
also says that people with metalbolic syndrome are more likely to dime of heart diseas or stroke without
the same riks factors especially if they are sleep deprived frequently. How come? Lack of sleep can alter
brain areas such as the hypothalamus and the secretion of hormones that have the potential to increase
 11

appetite. This condition stimulates the sympathetic nervous system which then raises blood pressure. As a
result, there is an imbalance in the body’s metabolism and glucose regulation.

And then, lack of sleep can cause difficult to think and concentrate. One of the reasons lack of
sleep makes it hard to focus is fatigue. The fatigue from staying at night can reduce performance. So that,
mood can deteriorate. At night, when we are ready to sleep suit with the hour that we want, our body
lowers cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone released by humans when under stress and affects the work
of brain. High cortisol then makes a decrease in cognitive function of the brain and hippocampus. The
hippocampus is the part of the brain that functions to obtain information and store it in memory for long
period of time. That is it difficult to focus when we are sleep deprived.

In conclusion, that is important to us to maintaining our sleep time for health body on the
sidelines of a busy life. There are many negative affects and problems from lack of sleep. One way, if we
do not have enough time to sleep at night because our activities, we can replace it with sleeping during
the day. Reducing unnecessary activies like playing online games and getting enough rest at night to
maintain a healthy body.
 12

Quiz text

Original version :

Too Much Money is A Bad Thing

I believe that having a lot of money is also a source of happiness. We can buy anything that we want if we
have much money. We also work and try to raise money, but do you believe that having a lot of money
can be a bad thing?
The fact of having much money can also cause some problems like depression and development of
wastefulness.

Too much money can cause depression because in general people will waste time for work just to raise a
lot of money abd sometimes the did not have time to go vacation for theirselves. It is the reason why too
much money cab cause depression.
Wastefulness can grow becuase have a lot if money. Someone thends to want to shop even to buy things
that are not really needed. When someone has a lot of money,  reflexively the desire to shop is getting
stronger.
 
It is important to manage time and  money when we have a lot of money. It can be done by setting work
hours and holidays, and then manage budget for shopping by making a list between basic and secondary
needed. Whatever money that we have, the most important thing is how we manage these finances and do
not forget to still happy. 

Revision version :

Too Much Money is A Bad Thing

I believe that having a lot of money is also a source of happiness. People do anything to get
much money because for that can buy and do anything that they want if they have much money. We also
work and try to raise money, but do you believe that having a lot of money can be a bad thing? In fact, it
sounds very unlikely, but having much money can also cause some problems such as depression and
development of wastefulness.

One of all, too much money can cause depression. It almost imposible if we hear that having a lot
of money can cause depression because usually depression can happen when someone do not have
money. Actually, people will waste time for work just to earn a lot of money and sometimes they do not
have time to go vacation for theirselves. Indeed doesn’t have time just to rest a minute. Over work can
cause body and brain are being tired. Moreover, pressure from job is also can cause stress. It is the reason
why too much money can cause depression.

And then, wastefulness can grow becuase have a lot of money. It is a negative trait that will have
a negative impact on the lives of people who have this characteristic. It can happen because someone’s
inability to refrain from doing or buying something that is not really primary need. This trait can arise due
to driving factors, one of which is when you have more money. Usually, someone thends to want to shop
 13

even to buy things that are not really needed. When someone has a lot of money,  reflexively the desire to
shop is getting stronger.
 
So, it is important to manage time and  money when we have a lot of money. It can be done by
setting work hours and holidays, and then manage budget for shopping by making a list between basic
and secondary needed. Whatever money that we have, the most important thing is how we manage these
finances and do not forget to still happy. 

FINISH