C820 – Task 2

Latora Desue
#001087377

Select a conversation where you had a disagreement that had an impact on you and triggered
a bioreaction. The conversation could have been a long time ago or recently.

A. Explain what happened during the disagreement by answering the following

questions:
 Describe the situation that lead to the conversation
I remember being at work; I work in a dialysis clinic and this specific day we were short staffed. We

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actually had been short staffed for quite some time. Everyone was a little frustrated and everyone

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had been working overtime to make up for the lack. Our secretary who used to work the floor was

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coming in early to open the clinic because they had yet to train someone else to do so. Whoever

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opens has to check throughout the day to be sure we don’t run out of bicarb and if we run low it’s
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their job to make more. This particular day she went to the back to check the bicarb however it was
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too late. The machines were already alarming like crazy saying bicarb low. The most annoying thing
in the world is to have 28 machines all alarming at once. I asked the secretary if the bicarb had run
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out and she stated no yet all the machines were alarming. The only reason the machine will alarm
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bicarb low is because air got in the loop due to the bicarb being low. She continued to walk around
as if there was nothing wrong I asked her if she went to the back and saw if maybe there could be
another problem and she snapped at me. She clapped her hands as she spoke as if she was trying to
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drive home her anger and frustrations.

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• When did you realize that there was a disagreement during the conversation?
I realized there was a disagreement in the conversation when I saw her response to my simple
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question. I never raised my voice when I asked and I never had an attitude when I asked. I only
asked her if she had went back to the back to see if there was another problem with the bicarb.
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• Describe a bioreaction(s) that was experienced during the disagreement.

When she first snapped at me the first bioreaction I felt was to freeze I stopped what I was doing
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and just stood there as I thought to myself, is she talking to me? I then went into bioreaction fight
mode, not physically but verbally because I was very calm when I asked her the question and I’ve
never come out of character with her. I walked into her office because I didn’t want the patients to
hear but I got up close and personal and informed her to never address me in that was again

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 because I’ve never disrespected her and I will not tolerate it back from her. She tried to get some
words in but I was not trying to hear it at all. I then fled the situation and tried to continue my job
but I was so upset I had to walk off the unit and cool down.
• How did the conversation end?
The conversation ended with me walking off, not hearing anything she had to say because she had
already said enough and I felt that I wouldn’t have been in her office if she hadn’t said what she said
the way she said it.
B. Analyze the conversation by answering the following questions:
• Using the four levels of the conversation meter, what level were you listening at,
and what level was the other person listening at?
I now realize that I was listening at the level of sincerity. I only cared about what I felt and my

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opinion on the matter. I never took time to hear what she had to say and even now I couldn’t tell

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what she was trying to say to me in that moment. I believe that she also was listening at the

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sincerity level because when she initially snapped at me she said what she had to say and then she

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walked off as if she didn’t care what I was going to say or even how I felt.
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• Give examples of two factors that describe how you and they were listening in at
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these levels in the conversation meter: feelings, behaviors, language, or tone.
For both of us, our tone was raised and we were loud as we were trying to out talk each other. I
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remember her voice being raised as she tried to jump in the middle of what I was saying however, I
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continued to speak over her until I was done. My feelings were angry, as I spoke. I was full of anger
because she offended me and I was frustrated because in all the time I had worked there I had never
addressed her in the manor she addressed me. She was maybe listening with the feeling of
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frustration because she was probably overwhelmed with everything that was going on that day and
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she lashed out of her frustration.

• What were your points of alignment or disagreement?
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Our points of disagreement were in the response she gave when I asked her about the bicarb. At
that moment she felt that it was ok to respond in a rude, harsh way and that nothing would be said
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or done about it. I disagreed with her tone and reaction and felt impressed to inform her that she
will never do that again.
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C. Reflect on how the conversation encouraged you to listen differently by answering the
following questions:
• How could you have listened differently moving up the conversation meter, and
what effect would that have had on the disagreement?

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 I could have heard the conflict in her response which was the pretense then proceeded to accuracy
by acknowledging that she was upset but also take the time and express myself and frustration.
Lastly move to authenticity which would have allowed her to explain what’s wrong what happened
and why it happened. Maybe I could have learned from her that she feeling overwhelmed with the
new position as secretary and still having to perform her old job duties on the floor. It could have
allowed me to see instead of assume she was just lashing out at me.
• How could you incorporate listening for needs, purpose, or concern to create value
in the conversation (including describing what that would look like)?
I can incorporate listening by not being so quick to react even if it means me asking to be excused
from the situation which would give me time to think. I have realized that I’m very quick to react
and not think about what I did or said until hours later. I often have to come back and apologize

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however, if I think before I react it will allow me to calm down and keep my feelings out of it so that

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we can come to an understanding. This may actually allow one to feel that they value me enough to

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come at any time and share their issues or concerns without feeling like I’m going to lash out at

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them.
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• What have you learned about accuracy and authenticity that could be used to
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improve the conversation?
I’ve learned that accuracy and authenticity gives the space to learn in the situation it allows one to
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express themselves and ask what happened. This would have given us both a clearer understanding;
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it would have improved the conversation by leaps and bounds. She would have understood that you
can’t just talk harshly to others even if you are frustrated because we all have frustrating days. She
would have learned that I too was frustrated because I’ve been working 5-6 days with no day off and
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I’m 8 months pregnant. I would have learned that she was overwhelmed at work as well. We would
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have been able to understand each other and possibly help each other through the rest of the day
instead of making more stress for the rest of the day.
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