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+ Name: Lê Quang Huy + Class: Chiều T2-T4: extend do you agree or disagree?
+ Name: Lê Quang Huy + Class: Chiều T2-T4: extend do you agree or disagree?
+ MAIL: lqh1411@gmail.com
Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what
ANSWER:
=> People have different views about what elements contribute the most to a
person’s success. Many people believe that luck plays a determined role in attaining the
goal. I disagree with this view because I consider that it’s no comparative to the
strength of human effort. Achievement is what hard-working is all about. Comment [A1]: hard work and
determination are much more crucial factors
leading to the achievement of an individual.
One reason is that people who rely on luck find difficulty => it difficult to develop
themselves and success. Firstly, luck is defined as success or failure apparently caused Comment [A2]: => SUCCEED EVENTUALLY
luck throughout their lives, they will almost certainly be disappointed. If fortunately,
they could avoid the oral test today or even won a great deal of money thanks to the
lottery ticket. A lot of people who become a billionaire in one night from lottery return
to their inferior status gradually after several years throwing money down the drain
without laboring. But they couldn’t evade responsibility and live count on this money in
their whole life. They are always in “waiter upon providence” situation and become too
dependent, unprogressive to own your life. Secondly, luck is a word for the loser. Some
people meeting failure prefer to blame on luck rather than admit their mistakes. They
also deny others’ achievements and effort while they haven’t tried enough hard.
Another reason is that reaching the top without hard-working is rare, if not Comment [A3]:
DILIGENCE
possible. In addition, the advanced positions require the talents who can handle
whatever by their experience and real capacity, not luck. For example, The CEO of a
corporation must stand firm with ups and downs in the market. Thomas Edison used to
say that “Success is 90% perspiration and 10% inspiration” as the world's greatest
inventor. The sweat and patience they suffer help them step up the higher room in
society and life. Of course, they are partly lucky, but that luck resulted in a series of
small ricks they took. On the way leading to success, there might be many difficulties, Comment [A4]:
RISKS
and people need to keep moving forward to overcome those challenges.
In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that the
fastest way to success is trying our best for the target despite preconceived ideas. A
wise person always knows how to turn his effort into his fortune. Comment [A5]: uck is not the key
determiner of one’s success in fulfilling their
dreams and for the reasons discussed above, I
strongly believe that those who are hard-
working and perseverant are much more
likely to attain their aims
Grade
Task 7.0 - Introduction:
Achievement
+ Câu 1 đã paraphrase, viết lại được câu hỏi của đề bài sử dụng từ vựng của mình
chính xác
+ Câu 2 đã trả lời được câu hỏi của đề bài rõ ràng, chính xác .
- Body:
+ Câu topic sentence bám được vào ý của câu 2 phần mở bài và nêu được ý bao quát
của đoạn văn
+ 2 câu idea hỗ trợ được cho ý của topic sentence, các ý được giải thích đầy đủ
- Conclusion:
Câu kết luận đã paraphrase được câu thứ 2 phần mở bài và không nêu ý nào mới
Nhìn chung, bài viết được bố cục như sau là ăn điểm Coherence
+ Topic sentence
+ Main idea 1
+ Explain more 1
+ Main idea 2
+ Explain more 2
+ Topic sentence
+ Main idea 1
+ Explain more 1
+ Main idea 2
+ Explain more 2
:
- Cohesion:
+ Ý các câu đã liên quan đến nhau. Bài có sử dụng từ đồng nghĩa, linking words để
kết nối các câu với nhau khá tốt
Vocabulary 7.0 + Có sử dụng được “topic-vocabulary" từ vựng theo chủ đề, dùng từ khá chính xác,
đa dạng. Ở phần này, các em nên dùng thật nhiều các cụm từ trong sách Topic
Vocabulary by NgocBach. Tốt nhất mỗi khổ thân bài nên sử dụng tầm 3~4
collocations
Grammar 7.0
+ sai ít lỗi ngữ pháp
Lưu ý: câu điều kiện, mệnh đề quan hệ là các câu trúc dễ dùng nhưng ăn điểm rất
tốt khi viết bài IELTS Task 2. Các em có thể sử dụng ở câu Explain more khi giải thích
các main idea ở 2 khổ thân bài.
Cố gắng tham khảo một số luận điểm được bổ sung trong phần sửa em nhé