UNDERSTANDING THE SELF

Introduction/Overview
Knowing oneself is critical to being an effective team member as well as being successful in life, work, and relationships.
Your personal identity influences everything you do, and it changes and evolves over time.

The purpose of this module is to help you deepen your understanding and appreciation for who you are as a person. You
will explore how you see yourself through the lenses of personal identity, your skills and talents, roles, values, personal
core, and how you meet your psychological needs. You will also examine how you respond to the pressures of changes
and transitions in your life.

You will have an opportunity to examine how your personal identity has been shaped by a variety of people and
experiences. You will also have opportunities to think about and discuss your values, interests, hopes for the future, as well
as, your strengths and challenges. You will learn about how your psychological needs are the primary source that
motivates and drives your behavior. You will also learn critical knowledge about change and how important it is in today’s
workplace to be adaptive and to embrace change as a personal and professional growth experience.

You will be invited and encouraged to take risks, to step outside your comfort zone, and to challenge your thinking and the
thinking of others. You will be engaged in reflection, partner activities, storytelling, discussion groups, self-assessment, and
giving and receiving feedback.

Lecture Notes

LESSON 1:
PSYCHOLOGICAL VIEW OF SELF

• Focuses on the representation of an individual based his/ her experiences.

• The 'self' is one of the most heavily researched areas in social and personality psychology, where concepts are
introduced that beyond our physical attributes, lies our psychology identity.
• Questions of ' who am I' or ' what am I beyond my looks?' are thoughts of many that continously search for a
deeper sense of self which can be traced back from some time of human history.

The Self as a Cognitive Construction

• Cognitive construction is a cognitive approach that focuses on the mental processes rather than the observable
behavior.
• William James and the Me- Self, I- Self
• Wilhelm Wundt
• - the Father of Scientific Psychology
• -scientific methods in studying what Aguirre mentioned as 'phenomenon of the consciousness', urged interest in
fuhe studies of the self and its role in human behavior.
• William James
• - sugested that “the total self of 'Me', being as it were duplex” is composed of partly object and partly subject.”
• -He differentiated between the self as knower, or the “I”, and the self as known or “Me”.
• The “I”

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-pure ego and suggested that this component of self is consciousness itself.
• The “Me”
-is one of the many things that the “I” may be conscious of, and it consists of three components, one physical or material,
one social, and one spiritual.
• Material Self
- consists of things that belong to us or that we belong to.
Ex. Family, clothes, our body, and money
• Social Self
- our social selves are who we are in a given social situation.
• Spiritual Selves
- is who we are at our core.
- more concrete or permanent than other two selves.
-Our subjective and most intimate self.
Ex. personality, core values, and conscience
Global vs Differentiated Models
• Global Self- esteem
- a personality variable that represents the way people generally feel about themselves.
-Relatively enduring across time and situations.
• State Self- esteem
- refers to temporary feelings or momentary emotional reactions to positive and negative events where we feel good or bad
about ourselves during these situations or experiences.
• Domain Specific Self- Esteem
-Focused on how people evaluate their various abilities and attributes.
- Making destinctions or differentiation on how good or bad people are in specific physical attributes, abilities and personal
characteristics.
Real and Ideal Self Concepts
• Karen Horney
- with her Feminine Psychology, established that a person has an 'ideal self', 'actual self' and the 'real self'.
- believed that everyone experiences basic anxiety through which we experience conflict and strive to cope and employ
tension reduction approaches.
• Carl Rogers
- with his person- centered theory, established a conceptn of self, involving the Real Self and Ideal Self.
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 • Real Self
-includes all those aspects of one's being and one's experiences that are perceived in awareness by the individual.
- It is the part of ourselves where we feel, think, look, and act involving our self image.
• Ideal Self
- Revolves around goals and ambitions in life
-Dynamic
-The idealized image that we have developed over time.
Multiple vs Unified Self
Kenneth Gergen
- argues that having a flexible sense of self in different context is more socially adaptable than force oneself to stick to one
self- concept.
• Multiple Selves
- the capacities we carry within us from multiple relationships.
-these are not 'discovered' but 'created' in our relationships with other people.
• Unified Selves
- well-being comes when our personality dynamics are congruent, cohesive and consistent.
- a person is essentially connected with selfhood and identity.
- In a healthy person, t ego remains at the helm of the mind, coherent and organized, staying at the center.
True vs False Self

Donald W. Winnicott
- distinguished what he called the “true self” from the “false self” in the human personality, considering the true self as
based on sense of being in the experiencing body and the false self as a necessary defensive organization, a survival kit,
a caretaker self, the means by which threatened person has managed to survive.

• True Self
- has a sense of integrity, of connected wholeness that harks to the early stage.
• False Self
- used when the person has to comply with external rules, such as being polite or otherwise following social codes.
-constantly seeks to anticipate demands of others in order to maintain the relationship.
• Healthy False Self
- functional
-can be compliant but without the feeling that it has betrayed its true self.
• Unhealthy False Self
-fits in but through a feeling of forced compliance rather than loving adaptation
• Heinz Kohut
- False selves can lead towards narcissistic personality which identifies with external factors at the cost of one's own
autonomous creativity.

The Self as Proactive and Agentic

• Social cognitive theory takes an agentic view of personality, meaning that humans have the capacity to exercise
control over their own lives.
• People are self-regulating, proactive, self- reflective, and self organizing and that they have the power to influence
their own actions to produce desired consequences.

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Agent Self

• Known as the executive function that allows for actions.

• This is how individuals make choices and utilize control in situations and actions.
• Resides over everything that involves decision making, self- control, taking charge in situations, and actively
responding.
Human Agency
• - not a thing but an active process of exploring, manipulating, and influencing the environment in order to attain
desired outcomes.
• Albert Bandura
• - The core features of human agency are intentionality forethought, self- reflectiveness, and self- reactiveness.
Self- Efficacy
• - Lies in the center of Bandura's Social Cognitive Theory.
• -The measure of one's ability to complete goals.
• -People with high self- efficacy often are eager to accept challenges because they believe they can overcome
them.
• -People with low self- efficacy may avoid challenges, or believe experiences are more challenging than they
actually are.

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 Module One
Understanding Self

Student Booklet

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 Table of Contents

1. Introduction to Module One – Understanding Self

2. Words That Describe Me

3. Your Personal Identity

4. A Portrait of Yourself

5. Setting Priorities About Values

6. Success Stories

7. Basic Psychological Needs

8. My Unique Picture Album

9. Responding to Change

10. Changes in Our Lives

11. Change and Emotions

12. Understanding Change

13. Transitions
14. My Lifeline – Important People and Experiences

15. “What If” Discussion Groups

16. Two-Minutes Speeches

17. Feedback
Introduction to Module One

Understanding Self
 Words That Describe Me

Circle the words that describe you. Add additional words.

Adaptive Self-Aware Tolerant

Dependable Intelligent Fearless

Compassionate Hard Worker Capable with Hands

Respectful Calm Humble

Energetic Eccentric Clever

Creative Confidant Thoughtful

Complex Realistic Cautious

Balanced Cooperative Shy

Quiet Attentive Picky

Other Words that describe you:

 Your Personal Identity

“Who Are You?”

Roles
Where have you taken
on responsibilities
in your life?

Personal Core
Learning
How would you
What have you
describe yourself in
learned and what
one sentence?
are you hoping to
learn?
 Your Personal Identity

“Who are you?”

Family Value
History s
Where have What is really
you important to
come from? you?

Strength Hopes for the

s Future
What skills Where do you hope
and to
talents do you be in 5-10 years?
have?
Interest
s
What are you
most
interested in?
 A Portrait of Yourself

 The best thing(s) I ever did was (were)

 I wish I could lose my fear of

 I know I have the talent to

 I enjoy people who

 I admire

 I feel most productive when

 I am motivated by

 I almost never

 My idea of fun is

 Work is exciting when

 The best advice I ever got was

 The thing I value most is

 If money were no object, I would

 It is easy for me to focus on

 My idea of a perfect life is

 My best days are

 My dream is

 I always wanted to

 I look forward to

 I spent too much time

 The thing my friends like about me is

 When I try to change something

 In a group I like to

 If I ever win a prize it will be for

Basic Psychological Needs
 Belonging Recognition
A sense that someone truly cares about A sense that you are acknowledged for
you. That you are in a mutual and loving what you accomplish and who you are. To
relationship with another person. feel significant, that you make an impact.

Freedom Self-Esteem

The need to have choice in your life, to have a The need to feel competent & confident.
sense of control over the decisions that direct The sense that you can achieve results,
your behavior. To be free from a sense of make good decisions, and you will stand by
external control. your principles.

Fun Safety

The need to have joy and laughter in your The need to feel physically and
life. The sense that we can experience psychologically safe. Free from emotional
elation and light heartedness. and physical threats or harm.
 Transitions
The psychological process people experience when going through change.

Ending Neutral Zone Beginning

 loss of identity  experience uncertainty  beginning to realize new

possibilities
 letting go the old ways and habits  in-between stage
 outlook changes
 resistance can set in  confidence can drop
 feeling of starting a new chapter
 experience the grieving process  old doubts arise in your life
o denial
o anger  feeling uncomfortable  hopefulness
o bargaining
o depression  anxiety and worry is normal  confidence rises
o acceptance
 confusing state … you let go the  see and experience success with
 lose or let go old attitudes, values, old way, but you are not yet the change
and behaviors experiencing the new way
Bridges, W., (1991). Managing
Transitions. W. Bridges &
Associates.

“It’s not so much that we’re afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it’s that place in between that
we fear. There’s nothing to hold onto.” Marilyn Ferguson
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LESSON 2:
SOCIOLOGICAL VIEWS OF THE SELF

The social aspect of the self is explored in many ways, which social situations influence ones's view of self.
The self has meaning only within the social context, and it is not wrong to say that the social situation defines our self- concept and our self- esteem. We rely on
others to provide a “ social reality” to help us determine what to think, feel, and do.
The Self as Product of Modern Society Among Others
• With modernization, the self becomes a “delocalized” self which is free to seek its own identity.
• Defining religion, theological tradition
• Free from customary constraints hence, deviating from the traditional way of life.

Clifford Geertz (1973)

• Believes that the struggle for one's individuality is only possible in modern society where religio- theological traditions are gradually replaced by rational and
scientific calculations.
• The intimate personal affiliations are replaced by exceedingly impersonal associations brought about by urbanized way of life.
• Modernization or the destruction of the traditional way of life “delocalizes” the self.

Problems:
1. The newfound freedom threatens the very authenticity of the self.
2. Alienation (Marx)- human beings haunted by the very images they have created.
3. Objectification of the body.
4. Dehumanization of self.
Solution:
For the individual to discover the “true” and “authentic” part of himself/ herself to realize his/ her potentials, there is a need to abolish repressive social
constraints.

Self as Necessary Fiction

Nietzsche
-Self is the sum of individual's fiction, thoughts and feelings.
-Self is nothing more than a metaphor, a representation of something abstract; symbolic.

Post- modern View of the Self

• Self is narrative, a text written and rewritten.
• Self is a story.
• It is dynamic.
• A product of modern discourse that is historically and socially imprisoned by what is acceptable by norms.

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N. Green
- self is “digitalized” in cyberspace, a virtual version of who we are.
- the self is seen in websites or social media- facebook, twitter, instagram, etc.
The Following are the manifestations:
1. Information technology dislocates the self, thus, self is “digitalized” in cyberspace.
2. Global migration produces multicultural identities.
3. Post- modern selves are “pluralized” selves.

Social Construction of the Self

• Self is not discovered. It is made through the socialization process but individuals are not just hapless victims of socialization.
• We construct ourselves based on our social roles through socialization agents- family, school, community, etc.

Rewritting the Self as an Artistic Creation

• Nietzche
- states that the unity of the self is not pre- given but accomplished through conscious effort- transforms self through beautiful work of art.
- we can recreate ourselves to get hold of the present, forgive the past and plan the future.
• Rorty
- contingencies of selfhood.
- conceal the “ugly” by reinterpreting the overall aesthetic contours of the self.

Self-Creation and Collective Identity

• Memories ( photographs, videos)

- play significant role in creating the self and identity.
-memory and forgetting are most important powers in recreating a person's identity.
-Such memories of the past include pain, triumph, etc.
-Such memories of the past can be linked with social transformations.
• Another important aspect of this view of the self is that self creation is formed within “imagined communities”.
• Self creation along cultural lines must be done in maximum cltural recognition of differences among and between individuals and cultural groups.

Self-Creation and the Stuggle for Cultural Recognition

• This is a challenge of self- identity amidst recognition of racial and ethnic identities.
• Self-recognition is necessarily grounded on collective solidarities.
Beyond Self Creation

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 • The quest or search for self- identity is a product of modern society but this is complicated by the socio- cultural sensibilities of postmodernity, new information
technologies and globalization, reconfiguring ourselves as to gender, sex, ethnocity, and creating one's own style signature.
• The self constantly lives in this paradox: to pusue self-creation within pre-given, not willfuly chosen social circumstances.

Meads Theory of Self

• George Helbert Mead (1863- 1931)

- An American sociologist.
- A founder of American pragmatism.
- A pioneer of symbolic interaction theory.
- One of the founders of social psychology.
• Meads theory of self maintains that the conception a person holds of himself/ herself in his/her mind emerges from social interaction with others.
The self according to Mead, is made of two components:
The “I” and the “me”.
• The “me”.
-Represents the expectations and attitudes of others ( the “generalized other”) organized into social self.
-The individual defines his or her behavior with reference to the generalized attitude of the social group(s) he/she occupies.
-The generalized other (internalized in the “me”) is the major instrument of social control, for it is the mechanism by which the community exercises control over the
conduct of its individual members.
• The “I”
-The response to the “me,” or the person's individuality.
-It is the essence of agency in human action.
• The “me” is the self as object, while the “I” is the self as subject.

Meads Three stages of Development of Self

Stage 1: The Preparatory Stage

-The first stage is the preparatory stage.
-The preparatory stage starts from the time we are born until we are about age two.
- In this stage, children mimic those around them.

Stage 2: The Play Stage

- From about age two to six, children are in the play stage.
-Children play pretend and do not adhere to the rules in organized games like patintero or basketball.

Stage 3: The Game Stage

- The third stage is the game stage, which is from about age seven onwards.
- In this stage, children can begin to understand and adhere to the rules of games.

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The Looking- Glass Self: Our Sense of Self is Influenced by Other's Views of Us
The concept of the looking- glass self states that part of how we see ourselves comes from our perception of how others see us.
• Charles Horton Cooley ( 1864- 1929)
- the degree of personal insecurity you display in social situations is determined by what you believe other people think of you.
• Labeling Bias
- occurs when we are labeled, and others' views and expectations of us are affected by that labeling (Fox & Stinett, 1996).
Example: If a teacher knows that a child has been diagnosed with a particular psychological disorder, that teacher may have different expectations and explanations of
the child's behavior than he or she would if not aware of that label.
• Self Labeling
- happens when we adopt others' labels explicitly into our self concept.
• Internalized Prejudice
- occurs when individuals turn prejudice directed toward them by others onto themselves.

Social Comparison Theory: Our Sense of Self Is Influenced by Comparisons with Others

• Self - concept and self- esteem are also heavily influenced by the process of social comparison (Bunk & Gibbons, 2007; Van Lange, 2008).
• Social Comparison
- Occurs when we learn about our abilities and skills, about the appropriateness and validity of our opinions, and about our relative social status by comparing our own
attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors with those of others.

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My Lifeline – Important People and Experiences

Who are the important people that have helped shape who you are today?

Birth 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40+

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What are the important life experiences that changed you in some way?

What have you taken forward into your life (attitudes, behaviors, beliefs)?

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 “What If” Discussion Groups

What would you do and why?

 What if you won a million dollars? What would you do with the windfall?

 What if you could travel to any place in the world? Where would you go, why would
you go there, and who would you invite along?

 What If you were granted three wishes? What would you wish for?

 What if you had the power to give yourself a special ability? What talent or ability
would you give yourself and why?

 What if you had the chance to spend a day with anyone in the world? Who would you
choose and why?
LESSON 3:
THE PHYSICAL SELF
“Physical Self”
- an important component in the study of the person’s self and identity.
- the concrete or tangible aspect or dimension of the person which is primarily observed and examined through the body.
 Physical appearance is among the major concerns of people today, in our world which is heavily influenced by
media.
 “People are concerned with the way others perceived them, and such concern serves as a motivation to manage
their behavior in order to present favorable and appropriate images to others.”
 “Such self-presentation includes not only the individual’s social behaviors but also the physical body.” Erving
Goffman (1971)
1. The Self as Impacted by the Body
 William James – the self is the sum total of all that man can call his, which includes his body, family,
reputation, also his clothes and his house. The body is the initial source of sensation and necessary for
the origin and maintenance of personality.
 Russell W. Belk – such body, family clothes, and the like are part of our extended self.
 Eric Ericson - experienced is anchored in the ground-plan of the body.
 Sigmund Frued – the physical body is the core of human experience.
 Maurice Marleau-Ponty (1945) – placed the body at the center of human existence, as a way of
experiencing the world.

 We experience life through our bodies and senses (sight, smell, touch, etc) allowing us to interpret the
world around us.
 Body is the vehicle for our expression in the world.
 The body is the way through which we make sense of the world and our environment.
 The body is the sight for the articulation of all our identifications of gender, class, sexuality, race,
ethnicity and religion.

2. The Impact of Culture on Body Image and Self-esteem: The Importance of Beauty

Do you consider yourself beautiful?

What is your concept of beauty?
What is the society’s concept of beauty?
Do these perceptions really matter?

• Standards of beauty and appearance are the products of a diverse mix of cultural and historical influences.
• Today, the norm or standard of beauty includes wavy blond hair, light skin, eyes, and a tall and slim form.
• Girls undergo surgical, surgery for breast, face, etc. While boys is muscular wash board, abs, powerful legs, etc.

2.1 The Role of Culture in our Understanding of “Body Image” and “Self-esteem”

• Through culture, society shapes us in many ways.

• Body Image is both internal (personal) and external (society)
• This includes how we perceived our bodies visually, how we fell about our physical appearance, how we think and
talk to ourselves about our bodies, and our sense of how other people view our bodies.
• We are all body-builders as we build and style our bodies on a daily basis
- decide how we dress and style our bodies
- decide how much hair we want in our body, we shave, wax,
- manipulate our bodies’ weight through diet, and exercise,

Self-definition can be intrinsically tied into self-esteem and confidence.

 “human beauty can cause a great deal of pain, especially from the perspective of those who may not “measure
up” to the standards of beauty. The closer the appearance of the body resembling the prevailing prototypes
standardized by the culture, the higher the “exchanged value” for the individual.”
Featherstone, (1991)
These standards of beauty have a direct impact on people’s lives and the ways they respond to those norms.

2.1 a. The Influence of Media on the Adolescent’s Understanding of Beauty

Media plays a large role in how teenagers view themselves by shaping images of what they are supposed to be or
do.
Genesis M. Javellana
• teenagers imagine themselves being the actor and actress in a movie they have watched.
• they copy the clothes, hairstyle or line in the movie that can make them feel good.
• use product that endorse by their favorite actress/actor.
• feel upset after seeing handsome/beautiful personalities.
• spend hours in front of television or computer.
• edit pictures
• conscious about their body weight

2.1 b. Impact of Media on the Self-esteem of the Adolescent

Body image is the dynamic perception of one’s body – how it looks, feels, and moves. 80% of adolescent girls feel
negatively about their body shape or size, moreover, 66% of females think their current size is too large , over
33% males thinks their current size is too small.
( Croll)
2.2 b. Developing Self-esteem

• to overcome such adverse effects on the issues of self-esteem, here are our best insights on how to strike a
balance between accurate self-knowledge and respect for who you are. You need to develop a positive body
image which involves, understanding that healthy, attractive bodies come in many shapes and sizes;
• physical appearance says very little about our character or value as a person;
• how we get to this point of acceptance often depends on our individual development and self-acceptance.
• “ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and wearing of gold jewelry
or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quite spirit, which is
of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

LESSON 4: Concept of spiritualty

Self is who we are at our core.
It is more permanent than the other two self, “material self and social self.”
Spirituality is specified more concretely in deepening in faith.
spirituality leads man to a deeper communion with the Divine.
It is a path of direct and personal connection with the Divine.

The spirit and the soul

Spirit
Hebrew – Ruach
Greek – Pneuma
- The spirit is described as the disposition of an individual, a person’s habitual attitudes as man’s supernatural power
which comes from God.
Then the dust shall return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
Ecclesiastes 12:7
SOUL
Hebrew- Nepesh
Greek- Psyche
-originally meaning ‘throat or neck’ which means ‘human life’ the animating principle of human nature.
In modern psychology, it is described as the ‘will, mind, the seat of emotion, conscience’.
Soul stands for natural man, while Spirit is the ethical factor which adds the new dimension of relationship with
God.
Soul
Is the nonphysical aspect of the person, the complexity of human attributes that manifests as consciousness,
thought, feeling, and will, regarded as distinct from physical body.
It is the person’s emotional and moral nature, where the most private thoughts and feelings are hidden.
The bible further speaks of the soul as the innermost aspect of the person which signifies the spiritual principle in
him, the “breath of life”.
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life;
and man became a living soul. Genesis 2:7
BODY + BREATH OF LIFE = LIVING SOUL
Loob and personhood

Loob-the inner self or inner being, is the core of one’s personhood and where the worth of a person lies.
Is manifested through external behavior, and behavior in an authentic person stems from the loob.

Mercado (1994)
A purified kalooban is supported by prayer.
This loob that has been continually purified and strengthened acquire commitment to the cause of the individual.
This happens through form of sacrifices which include prayers, abstinence from certain kinds of food, or comforts, or sexual
abstinence.

God’s kagANDAHANG-LOOB

It is a quality of BEING which has its roots in the very heart of a person and which is given expression in the totality of
one’s life of interrelationship.
This is why God’s saving activity is described as kagandahang loob.

Loob and prayer

Prayer is said to be “the first expression of man’s interior truth” refers to the core of one’s personhood, his loob, which is
closely related to man’s spirit.
It is the ultimate organizing center of human reality.
It is also the very zone of creaturehood which is the substratum of ideas, feelings and behaviors.

Finding and creating meaning

“ Meaning is something to discover rather than to invent”.

Victor Emil Frankl.
He believes that in life there is an “ EXISTENTIAL VACUUM” which means that life is empty, meaningless, purposeless,
aimless, adrift and so on.
He says that we fill our life with ‘busy-ness,” conformity, conventionality, anger hatred and even attempts to destroy what
we think is hurting us, a neurotic “vicious cycle,” such as obsession with germs and cleanliness, or fear driven obsession
with a phobic object.

3 ways of discovering meaning in life

Experiential values- involves experiencing something or someone we value. Ex. Family relatives, friends, and workmates.
Creative values- traditional existential idea providing oneself with meaning by becoming involved in one’s projects, or,
better, in the project of one’s own life. It includes the creativity passion involved in art, music, writing, invention and work.
Attitudinal values-include practicing virtues such as compassion, bravery, a good sense of humor, and the like. The
ultimate goal is self-transcendence, in the spiritual realm.

The practice of religion

Others define religion as “an organized system of ideas about the spiritual sphere, along with cere4monial practices; our
way of relating with the supernatural or the Divine”. All creatures have religion.
“The practice of religion has a significant effect o happiness and an overall sense of personal well-being” ( Stark,
R. 1971)
“Young people see love as the central aspect of the meaning of life, they believe that religion is still important in
helping from judgements and attitudes” (Thomas D.)
“The cohabitation rate is seven times higher among persons who seldom or never attend religious services
compared to persons who frequently attend”. (Larson D.)

“Therefore, the practice of religion is beneficial to individuals, families, states, and the nations. It improves health,
learning, economic well-being, self-control, self-esteem and, empathy. It reduces the incidence of social pathologies, such
as out-of-wedlock births, crimes, delinquency, drug and alcohol addiction, health problems, anxieties, and prejudices.
Finally, it can be a powerful agent of social change”. (Haviland, 2007)

rituals

Patterned forms of behavior that have something to do with the supernatural ream. “ People worldwide engage in religious
rituals that require a considerable amount of time or personal sacrifice”.(Sosis, 2010)

What the Bible says about magic?

“Don’t sacrifice your children in the fires on your altars; and do not let your people practice fortune-telling, or use
sorcery, or interpret omen, or engage in witchcraft, or cast spells, or function as mediums or physics, or call forth the sprit
of dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord. It is because the other nations have done these
detestable things that the Lord your God will drive them out ahead of you. But you must be blameless before the Lord your
God”. Deut. 18:10-13.

“The most important one is this: Listen, Israel! The Lord pour God is the only Lord. Love the Lord your God with all
your heart, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second most important commandment is this : Love your
neighbor as you love yourself. There is no other commandment more important than these two”. Mark 12:29-31

Two-Minute Speeches

Prepare a two-minute speech about yourself describing the essence of your personal identity,
“Who are you in the image of God?” You can choose to share a personal story or an interesting
experience. You can talk about your family and career, or your goals and dreams.

Presentation Notes
Debriefing Questions

 What was your experience going through this exercise?


How was this difficult for you?

 What were you thinking (self-talk) before and during this speech?
 What were you feeling before you told your story?
What is it you want us to see in you by telling this story?

Feedback

A gift or strength I see in you Something I am curious about

LESSON 5: SEXUAL SELF

What is your sexual self?

 Part of your self where you learn and understand your sexual development and how people’s sexual activity,
beliefs, misconceptions and unlimited access from the internet on sex can influence your own sexual behaviours
and responses.
 Your sexual self speaks of your sexual health, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression and values
around sexuality.

1. Sexual Development

 Is a lifelong process that starts at the moment of conception (Tsiaris, 2006).

 It can be predicted as part of the human development but not everyone is expected to have the same pattern of
changes or the same pacing.

3 Reasons Why an Individual’s Sex is Important in Lifelong Development:

( Hurlock, 2001, p.32)

1.) Each year children come under increasing cultural pressures from parents, teachers, peer group and society at large to
develop attitudes and behavior patterns that are considered appropriate members for their sex.
2.) Learning experiences are determine by the individual sex. In the home, at school, and in playgroups, children learn
what is considered appropriate for members of their sex.
3.) Attitude of the parents and other significant family members towards individuals because of their sex. Strong
preferences for a child of a given sex have marked influences on parents attitudes affecting relationship with the child.

1.1 Sigmund Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development and the Concept of Erogenous Zone

5 Psychological Stages according to Freud:

1.) Oral stage (0-2 yrs. Old)

2.) Anal Stage (2-3 yrs. Old)
3.) Phallic Stage (3-5 yrs. Old)
4.) Latency Stage (6 yrs. old- puberty)
5.) Genital Stage ( puberty-onwards)

1.2 The Human Reproductive System

Sex, however, is not just for reproduction-not in humans. That may be its primary biological mandate, but it serves other
purposes as well. It helps strengthen relationships, encourages a man to stick around to care for his child, and affects not
only health but also well being (Tsiaras, 2006)

1.2 The Female Reproductive System.

1.2b The Male Reproductive System

1.3 Human Sexual Response

 People’s sexual responses follow a regular pattern consisting of four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and
resolution.
 Sexual motivation, often referred to as libido, is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity.
 This is motivated by biological, psychological, and social factors.

They are only one influence on the motivation to engage in sexual behaviors. Social factors such as WORK and FAMILY
also have an impact, as do internal psychological factors like personality and stress.

The Sexual Response Cycle

1.4. The Basic Biology of Sexual Behavior: Teen Sexual Behavior

Adolescents, experiencing strong sexual desire for the first time and eager for all pleasures life can offer, are the
frequently tempted to throw caution to the wind and indulge (Tria, et al.,2012)

2. Human Sexuality

Sexuality is much more than sexual feelings or sexual intercourse.

• It includes the feelings all the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors associated with being female or male, being
attractive and being in love, as well as being in relationships that include sexual intimacy and sensual and sexual
activity.

The Five Circles of Sexuality

1.) sensuality- is awareness and feeling about your own body and other people’s body of a sexual partner.
2.) sexual intimacy- is the ability to be emotionally close to another human being and to accept closeness and return.
3.) sexual identity- is a person’s understanding of who he/she is sexually, including the sense of being male or female. It is
consist of three “ interlocking pieces” that together, affect how it person sees him/herself.
4.) reproduction and sexual health- these are a person’s capacity to reproduce and the behaviors and attitudes that make
sexual relationships healthy and enjoyable.
5.) sexualization- an aspect of sexuality in which people behave sexually to influence, manipulate, or control other people.
- often called shadowy”.
These sexual behaviors include flirting, seduction, withholding sex from an intimate partner to punish him/her or to get
something, sexual harassment, sexual abuse and rape.

Sexuality in adolescent youth

(13 to 19)

 They experience increase interest in romantic and sexual relationships and genital sex behaviors.
2.2 THE CHEMISTRY OF LUST, LOVE AND ATTACHMENT

 The unexplained mechanism responsible for sexual attraction lies in the brain and not in the genital areas.
LUST-phase which is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogens- in both men and women.

Attraction- phase said to be the one of the beautiful moment of life which the person actually start to feel the love.
Attachment- a bond helping the couple to take their relationship to advance levels which they want to have their children
and falling in love with them wholeheartedly.

3. THE DIVERSITY OF HUMAN SEXUALITY

Gender bias means holding stereotyped opinions about people according to their gender.
Since 1975, the American psychological association has called on psychologist to take the lead in removing the stigma of
mental illness that has long been associated with lesbian, gay and by sexual orientations.

What is sexual orientation?

An enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/ or sexual attractions to men, women or both sexes.
Person’s identity based on those attractions, related behaviors, and membership in a community of others who share those
attractions.

3.1 SEXUAL HEALTH AND SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES/ INFECTIONS

 Teens need this information so they can make inform decisions about sexual expression and protect their health.
Sexual intercourse

A behaviors that may produced sexual pleasures that open culminates in orgasm in females and in males.

Premarital sex

Sexual activity practiced by people who are unmarried.

SEXUAL HEALTH AND SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES/ INFECTIONS

 Also known as venereal diseases (VD).

They are pass through sexual contact or genital- through vaginal intercourse oral sex and anal sex.

HOW DO PEOPLE GETS AIDS?

AIDS- acquired “immunodeficiency syndrome”

There are several manifestations of the breakdown in body’s immune system and have developed in people who have
been infected by HIV.

HIV
The virus that causes AIDS and it is preventable and manageable but not curable.

How do people get AIDS?

1.) Bodily fluids ( blood products-transfusions, semen and vaginal fluids)

2.) Intravenous (IV) Drug abuse (sharing needles and use and use of unsterilized blades)
3.) Sexual intercourse ( unprotected vaginal, oral and anal sex)
Think about these:

 Having sex isn’t always a healthy choice. Impulsive decisions can lead to lifelong problems: serious disease and
infertility.
 Abstinence is an OPTION. Choosing not to engage in sexual contact with another person can be a very powerful
personal choice.

My Unique Picture Album

Think about the people, places, and experiences in your life that are very special to you. This is
where you get your psychological needs met. Write two examples in each box of how you meet
this particular need.
 Belonging Recognition

Self-Esteem Safety

Freedom Fun

LESSON 6: Understanding and Creating Your Digital Self

Like it or not, we all have a digital self.

Like it or not, we all have a digital self—a mask that we put on to engage the technological world.
THEORY OF SELF
TRUE SELF VS. FALSE SELF
 
Donald Winnicot
Physician and psychoanalyst

"true self“
the instinctive core of our personality and must be nurtured and realized.

"false self"
created to protect the "true self" from insult and danger.

The takeaway is, we all have a "true self" that is complex and fragile, but ultimately, is our essence. In an attempt to share
that self with the world, we engage our decoy selves to manage the day-to-day anxieties and challenges that come before
us.

For the past two decades in the mental health field, we have seen countless individuals explore and navigate the
many aspects of their self-identities. Put another way, the digital self has become a frequent visitor on the couch. 

ALARMING IMPACT OF DIGITAL WORLD

• Divorce over Facebook affairs
• Couples who met on Match.com and wound up happily married
• Adolescents who became suicidal due to cyber-bullying
• Single moms now with the flexibility to work at home
…and the embarrassing consequences of "drexting" (aka drunk texting).  
DIGITAL OBJECTS

• World Wide Web

• Emailing
• Chat rooms
• Online shopping
• Cell phones
• Internet gambling
• Internet pornography
• MySpace
• Facebook
• Texting
• Sexting
• Tweeting
• iPods
 • Search engines
• Dating sites
• Foursquare
• Wii

UNDERSTANDING DIGITAL SELF-IDENTITY

If we can begin to understand this slice of who we are, then we can shape our digital self into a self that is more
closely aligned with our true self, which has a sense of integrity and connected wholeness that Winnicot would have said
harks back to the early stage of development. If we are unable to take control in defining our digital self, then we become
increasingly more dependent on this digital reality.

In psychological terms, this lack of interaction is referred to as an empathic failure and will possibly have consequences.
Children remain developmentally concrete for many years and cannot comprehend who their parent is communicating with
or why. They just experience the disconnect and the fact that something they don't understand is coming in between their
relationship with their parent.
In such a short span of time, how is it that we have learned that when our phone buzzes with a message we MUST
respond?
It does not necessarily mean that you should throw your phones and computers into the ocean, but rather to explore ways
to develop a deeper level of understanding as to how your relationship with technology impacts your primary relationships,
and how it is, as a result, defining you.
This is can be an outline of notes or the actual set of notes that students will need to follow along with the activities,
presentations, and discussions associated with the period of the course. A thorough description of the learning activities –
what the student will be doing as he/she works through the module. This may include presentation of media for the
purpose of explaining, discussing or elaborating on concepts from the module. This is also the place to link discussion
boards, audio files, video conferencing, and chat room discussions that serve the means of interaction between student
and teacher. Giving quizzes may also be considered to get immediate feedback on how much material understood and
retained.
 Responding to Change

 How do you feel about change? When you are being asked to change, mark where you
fall on the continuum between the descriptions.

bad good

annoyed excited

depressed enthused

anxious calm

tired energized

disinterested interested

discouraged optimistic

overwhelmed challenged

 Do you typically embrace or resist change?

 Changes in Our Lives

Think about an important change you made in your life.

1. Describe the change.

2. What were you thinking going through the change?

3. How were you feeling before, during, and after you made the change?

LESSON 7: The Material / Economic Self

The Material Self
People has a “material self,”
-William James
A ‘man’s self is the sum total of all that he can call . -James wrote in 1980
 Included his body, family, and reputation but also his “ clothes and his house. . . His lands and horses, yacht and
bank-account,” if they grew, their owners felt triumphant. If they faded, people felt a part of themselves was dying
– (Trentman,201)

 All the physical elements that reflect who person is, maybe possessions, cars, home, body, clothes, are part of the
material self.
 Material self craves for clothes not only to cover the essential parts of the body, but also to decorate the self.
 The material self is constituted by our bodies, clothes, immediate family, and home.
 We are most deeply affected because of our investment of self within these things.
-James
 The more we invest of ourselves in these objects, the more attached we inevitably are to them.
 “Material self,” objects help make the person but they also show what that person is made of. It means the use
and display of wealth remains powerful and controversial, and nowhere more so than for the super rich.
 Psychologists who study the impact of wealth and inequality on human behavior have found that money can
powerfully influence our thoughts and actions in a ways that we’re often not aware of, no matter what economic
circumstances are
-Gregoire, 2014
Manifested that cash can have serious bearing on one’s belief regarding the way a person view’s himself| herself
-Curtis (2017)

Social and Business Value

 Surmised that there are two motivations for completing a given task. The first in social. By recognizing a task’s
social value, a person sees it as a worthy investment of time and a part of his/her social duty, and he/she is
usually happy to help out. When money is offered as the motivation, however, people then start thinking less of
the social of the social aspect and more about the business value.
-Heyman and Ariely 2004

Self-Sufficiency and Service

 Those who are conscious of money typically strive to be more self-sufficient than those for whom money isn’t a
priority.
 When given a very difficult and even impossible task, with instructions that help was available, it was the money-
related group that seemed the most intent on getting the job done alone, even when it was not possible to finish
the task solo.
 It only means that money-conscious individuals are more self-sufficient than their peers, particularly when money
is made the focus.

Self-view

 The amount one earns could have on how he/she views both himself/herself and others.
 The wealthiest people are those with the deepest sense of Class essentialism
 the idea that differences between classes are based upon identity and genetics, rather than circumstances.
 Poor people tend to believe that social class was not related to genes, that essentially, anyone can be rich and
anyone can be poor.

Ethics
  Self-interest maximization
an idea that suggests those who have the most money or occupy higher classes are more likely to take a “ what’s
in it for me?” They actively work toward the most benefit for themselves.
- Piff, 2012

Addiction

 Many addictions begin because a person gets a positive response from a certain type of behavior. Whether it’s
happy feeling that one gets from shopping or a trill that comes from gambling, actively seeking out that behavior
again and again for the same outcomes can trigger an addiction.
 This is called “ behavioral or process addiction” a compulsive behavior not motivated by dependency on an
addictive substance, but rather by a process that leads to a seemingly positive outcome.

 Earning money can be very addictive for some individuals.

2. Shaping the Way We See Ourselves: The Roles of Consumer Culture on our Sense of Self and Identity
Possessions and the Extended Self
 The premise that people regard their possessions as parts of themselves is not new. If possessions are viewed as
part of self, it follows that an unintentional loss of possessions should be regarded as a loss or lessening of self.

McLeod (1984)
 Found that those who lost possessions to a mudslide went through a process of grief similar to that of
losing a loved one – moving from denial to anger, to depression, and finally to acceptance.

2.2 Special Cases of Extended Self

1. Collections(“ I Shop, Therefore I am”)
 As Belk (1982 ) notes, humans and animals once primarily assembled collections of necessities for future
security, but today humans more often assemble collections of non-necessities for distinction and self-definition.

Goldberg and Lewis ( 1978, p, 64 )

 Go further in suggesting that “ Many collectors who are inhibited and uncomfortable in social interaction,
surround themselves with favored objects upon which they project human-like qualities.
 They practically talk to these objects; they find comfort in being with them and regard them as friends.”

2. Pets as Extended Self

 Pets are regarded commonly as representative of self and studies show that we attempt to infer characteristics of
people from their pets.
- ( Foote 1956 ; Heiman 1967)
 Some relationship between personality and choice of pets does, in fact, exist
- ( Kidd and Kidd 1980 ).
Like people, pets are regarded as family members
-(e.g., Cain 1985; Friedmann and Thomas 1985; Hickrod and Schmitt 1982; Rochberg-halton 1985; Wallendorfand Belk
1987 )

 It is significant that we name our pets, feed and care fore them, photograph them, spend money on them, groom
them, talk to them, protect them, sleep and play with them, and mourn their death
-Hickrod and Schmitt 1982; Meer 1984
Found that in some cases of pet death the mourning is similar to that which occurs due to the loss of a home or the loss of
a limb.
-Carmack (1985), Cowles, and Keddie (1977)

 Found that pets are so instrumental to self-identity that they are often useful as transition objects ( surrogate
parents ) for children and as surrogate children for adults.
-Levenson (1972), Robin and Bensel (1985)
These observations and popular treatments suggest that pets can be therapeutic in expanding the self of children, hospital
patients, and the elderly.

3. Body Parts
 Body parts are among the most central parts of the extended self. In psychoanalytic terms, such self-extension is
called cathexis.
 Cathexis involves the charging of an object, activity, or idea with emotional energy by the individual.

Csikszentimihalyl and Rochberg-Halton 1981

 proposed the seemingly identical concept of psychic energy investment to describe the process of
identification with possessions of any type.
 These body parts are expected to be more strongly cathected than material possessions that can be more easily
acquired and discarded

Setting Priorities About Values

Values are beliefs, feelings, and principles that guide a person’s actions and give those actions
meaning.
 Values

1. Money

2. Peace of mind

3. Happiness

4. Success

5. Nature

6. Spiritual Life

7. Friends

8. Taking on Challenges

9. Satisfaction with Work

10. Learning

11. Balancing Your Life (work and play)

12. Physical Health

LESSON 8: Managing And Caring For The Self

Taking Care of
One’s Health

1. Stressors and Responses

  Stress as any factor that makes adaptation to an environment difficult for the individual to maintain state of
equilibrium between himself and the external environment (Humpey, Yow, and Bowen).
 These events or conditions that put a strain on the individual are called Stressors (Santrock, 2003). In addition,
Stressors are situations that are experienced as perceived threat to one’s well-being or position in life, when the
challenge of dealing with which, exceeds the persons perceived available resources (Scott, 2017).

Two Categories of Stressors

1. Physiological (Physical) Stressors- are those that put strain on the body (i.e., temperatures, injury, chronic illness,
or pain).
2. Psychological Stressors- are events, situations, individuals, comments, or anything we interpret as negative or
threatening (i.e., not being hospital).
Stressors divided into;
a. Absolute Stressors- those to which everyone exposed would interpret as being stressful. These are objective stressors
that are universal (i.e., earthquakes, a tsunami).

b. Relative Stressors- are those to which only some persons exposed would interpret as being stressful. These are
objective stressors that cause different reactions in different people (i.e., time pressure at work, & school traffic, paying
taxes or bills, writing or taking an exam).
Folk (2017) explains “When danger is perceive, the body emergency system automatically changes, the body’s
balance by producing the stress response (also called “emergency response”, the “fear response” or the “fight of flight
response”). This change of balance, emergency, readiness, is brought about via hormones, chemical messengers that are
secreted into the blood stream.

2. Sources of Coping

 The term “coping” is the process of attempting to manage the demands created by stressful events that an
appraised as taxing or exceeding a person’s resources.

Among are the Coping Resources to improve the ability to manage stressful events and better health outcomes;
1. Optimism- refers to the outcome expectancies that good things rather than bad things will happen to the self
(Scheier.et.al 1994).
2. Personal Control or Mastery- refers to whether a personal feels able to control or influence outcomes (Thompson,
1981).
3. Self-esteem- that is positive and high, is also protective against adverse mental and physical health outcomes,
thereby contributing to better psychological well-being. Self-esteem is often defined as an individual’s self-
perception or his/her abilities, and overall qualities that guides and/or motivates specific cognitive process and
behaviours. (McCrae and Costa).
4. Social Support- is defined as the perception or experience that one is loved and cared for by others, esteemed
and valued, part of a social network of mutual assistance and obligations (Wills, 1991).
3. The Social and Cultural Dimensions of Stress

Dr. Michael L. Tan, a Filipino medical anthropologist, wrote an article entitled “Stress and the Filipino”. It takes about
the social and cultural dimensions of stress experienced by the Filipinos. Below are some points from the excerpt of Tan’s
(2006) article.
 The scenes of smiling and laughing Filipinos, singing, dancing, (and drinking) away Can be deceptive. Quite
often, we deal with stress by trying to be “happy”. Masaya, which is really more of an externalized merriment.
Pagsasaya, is social camaraderie, its making cheer and quite often we do it precisely because there have been
unhappy events, stressful events.
  The word “Dalamhati” is graphic, describing an inner sadness (from the Malay “dalam”, inside and “hati”, the heart
or the liver, believed to be seats of our emotions) that slowly consumes the person. Filipino women are actually
more prone to dealing with stressful situations through “tiis” (endurance) and “kimkim” (repression).
 Many Filipinos express their stress by complaining about recurring headaches or abdominal pains, accompanied
by dizziness, nausea, or fatigue.
 Nerbyos or Nerves, doesn’t necessary mean being nervous; it’s often hypertension or high blood pressure.
 Bangungot, those sudden deaths, usually at night, associated with nightmares. The term “bangon” to “rise”, and
“ungol” to “moan”.
 Stress is mediated through culture: from the very nature of the stressors, to the ways, we respond to the stress.
Understanding this local context may help us develop more culturally appropriate, and therefore more effective
ways to deal with stress.
 A term “Namamahay” is missing home, to describe a range of symptoms, from insomnia to constipation that
plagues us when we are away from home.

 The “Manghihilot” can be “reinvented” so his or her skills with therapeutic massage can be applied not just for
sprains, but also for broken weary spirits. Filipino-style, such spaces need not be totally quiet, but they do give
some sense of safety, or sanity in a mad world.
What we see today around us magnifies the reality of Dr. Tan’s work. How Filipinos deal with stress is a trademark of
orientation they hard with the social world, dictated by the stringent cultural compliance they were exposed to while
growing up. In the end, Filipino are still proud of how unique these manners of coping are; what makes them ultimately
happy in the end is the one that matters much.

5. Taking Care of the Self: The Need for Self-Care and Compassion

SELF-CARE
 is engaging in activities and behaviours that have positive effect on one’s mental and physical health (Greene,
2017). She added that there’s a bit of “reverse golden rule” aspect to practice; that is “Treat yourself as
compassionately as you treat others”.

Reasons Why Self-care is necessary;

 It increases sense of self-love, allowing appreciation and acceptance of with a person is.
 It promotes feelings of calm and relaxation, serving as a way to refocus and come back to daily life refreshed and
ready to take on anything.
 It improves both physical and mental health by reducing the effects of prolonged stress on mind and body.

Ways to engage in Self-care;

 Physical Self-care; eating well, exercising regularly, prioritizing sleep and taking care of health.
 Emotional Self-care; managing anxiety, anger,sadness, and other emotions. Setting boundaries with people who
are not positive or supportive. Spending time alone to rest and recharge. Maintaining a bullet journal.
 Spiritual Self-care; volunteering, connecting with nature, meditation, mindfulness.

COMPASSION
 is wishing for that person to be free from suffering (Germer, 2009). Compassion literally means “to
suffer together”. is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated
to relieve that suffering (Greater Good Science Center,2017).

There are Various Forms of Compassion;

1. Familial Compassion
2. Global Compassion
3. Sentient Compassion
4. Heroic Compassion
 Two Forms of Heroic Compassion;
 Immediate Compassion
 Considered Heroic Compassion

“Love the life given by God to you.

Be compassionate. To yourself and others! May you have meaningful journey of life”.
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bone”. Proverbs 17:22
Always begin and end the day with God.

Success Stories

Think about and write two or three of your success stories.

1.
 2.

3.

What does this say about who you are and what’s important to you?

Share with your group “why” these success stories are important to you.

LESSON 9: A BETTER PERSON

“Make the most of yourself for that is all there is you”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

 We’ve all made mistakes, throughout our lives that haven’t exactly put us in the best light- like bullying someone in
school or telling lies to others. However, we probably felt guilt and grew because of the situation.

15 WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF BETTER

1. Compliment Yourself
• every morning before you go on with your daily routine, take a couple of minutes to give
yourself a compliment.
2. Don’t Make Excuses
 • Accept your own mistakes and do not blame others.

3. Let Go of Anger
• let go your anger because anger makes unwise decisions and it may affect your health.
4. Practice Forgiveness
• Joyce Marter suggests you forgive and let go of resentment. Practice the mantra “I forgive you and I
release you”.
5.Be Honest and Direct
• Always tell the truth and state as clearly as possible. Learn to articulate your thoughts, feelings and ideas
in an open and honest manner.
6. Be Helpful
• Being helpful is one of the most easiest and most effective ways to practice becoming a better person.
The more you help others, the more you feel better about yourself.
7. Listen to Others
• Listen to others who wants to correct your mistakes. Being a good listener can change your life in a
positive manner.
8. Act Locally
• Get to know and care about your community.
9. Always Polite
• Always be polite in approaching and interacting others.
10. Be Yourself
• Align yourself with your values and beliefs, establish your identity, build courage, create
boundaries and find focus and direction.
11. Be Open to Change
• always be open to change. This allows you to grow because you experience something new. It
help ourselves to becomes functional and building self confidence.
12. Be Respectful
• Be respectful of others’ thoughts, time, ideas, lifestyles, feeling, work and everything
else.
13. Don’t Show Up Empty- Handed
• When you attend parties or visit friends, relatives you should bring something that
shows appreciation of being their friends.
14. Educate Yourself
• Educate yourself in others cultures, different people and what their lives. It can make
you more well- rounded individual.
15. Surprise People
• Surprise your loved ones, friends or co- workers and etc so that they can feel that they
are special to you.
• According to Aristotle being good meant practicing twelve keys virtues where Christianity argued for seven.

11 Virtues for the Modern Age

1. Resilience
• Keeping going even when things are looking dark; accepting reversals are normal. Not
frighten others with your fears.
2.Empathy
 • The capacity to connect imaginatively with the sufferings and unique experiences of
another person. The courage to become someone else and look back at yourself with
honesty.
3. Patience
• We should grow calmer and more forgiving by getting more realistic about how things
actually tend to go.
4.Sacrifice
• We’re hardwired to seek our own advantage but also have a miraculous ability, very
occasionally, to forego our own satisfaction in the name of someone or something
else.
5.Politness
• We need to learn “manners” which are not bad. Politeness is very linked to tolerance,
the capacity to live alongside people.

6. Humor
• Humour springs from disappointment, but it’s disappointment optimally channeled. It is one of
the best way to remove sadness.
7. Self-Awareness
• To know oneself s to try not to blame others for one’s troubles and moods.
8. Forgiveness
• Means a long memory of all the times when we wouldn’t have got through life without someone
cutting us some slack.

9. Hope
• Even we are in the path of many challenges and problems, you should always look for hope.
10. Confidence
• Confidence isn’t arrogance, it’s based on a constant awareness of how short life is and how
little we ultimately lose from risking everything.

Change and Emotions

2. Why is change hard for most people?

3. Why is change easier for some people?

4. What strong emotions do people feel when they are asked to change?
 Understanding Change

The two most important reasons why people find it difficult to change are loss and fear.

Loss of Fear of

 Control  The Unknown

 Confidence  Failure

 Identity  Embarrassment

 Power/Status  New Responsibilities

 Relationships  New People

 Hope  Negative Consequences

Talk about some personal examples with participants in your small group.

Loss Fear