CONFLICT RESOLUTION

WHY STUDY CONFLICT?

WHY STUDY CONFLICT?

 To improve relationships (family, work, college)

 To understand human dynamics

 To work well with others in team and in groups.

IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT WE PRACTICE
RESOLVING CONFLICTS
CONSTRUCTIVELY WITH FAMILY,
FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS, CUSTOMERS,
NEIGHBOURS AND OTHERS.
 People need people! This law of
human nature is inescapable.
People need other people in order
to be totally fulfilled and mentally
healthy. An individual cannot be
emotionally healthy without
others.
 Definition- Conflict

1. A conflict is a disagreement
between two or more persons. It
can be destructive or constructive
for a relationship. Your approach
to conflict will determine the end
factor.
(Hocker and Wilmot 2017.
 Definition- Conflict

2. “An expressed struggle between

at least two interdependent parties
who perceive incompatible goals,
scarce rewards, and interference
from the other party in achieving
their goals”
(Hocker and Wilmot 2017)
Think of the most disturbing conflict you
have experienced in the past half year or
so.

1. What was your emotional response to

this conflict?

2. What is your general philosophy

about conflict?
Personal History

Your socialization (family) may

affect how you approach
conflict in various situations
today.
Which of the following descriptions best
describes your family of origin?

 Avoidant - family members avoided most

conflict

 Aggressive - family members egaged in a

lot of overt yelling, calling of names, and
similar aggressive moves.

 Collaborative - family members use

collaboration
 AN AVOIDANT FAMILY

 Conflict does not exist and if it does, do not recognize

it
 If there is a conflict figure out what to do about it on
your own
 Do not tell anyone else if there is a struggle
 Walk away if something starts to brew
 Do not even raise your voice
 Snide comments are fine
 Sulking and the silent treatment are good strategies
 If someone has a concern, do not respond to it
 Do not express strong feeling
 AN AGGRESSIVE FAMILY

 Survival of the fittest describes the general

climate of the family
 Be brutally honest regardless of the impact

 Show your emotions strongly even if that

hurts someone
 Do not back down – hold your ground no
matter what
 You have to take it if someone attacks you

 People who do not engage are weak

 COLLABORATIVE FAMILY

 Have a family meeting or mealtime chat to discuss

issues
 Use good listening skills when someone has a
concern
 Deal with people directly
 Say openly what you are feeling
 Parents need to help resolve their children’s
conflict
 Regular interaction is important
 Dirty tricks such as sulking are not allowed
 Strong feelings are seen as normal and are allowed
Abuse and Conflict
 Your family history can affect your current beliefs and
expectations about human interaction.
 You can be hopeful an optimistic or cynical and
pessimistic

 Family with a history of verbal, physical or sexual

abuse will nurture very strong reactions to conflict.
 APPROACHES TO CONFLICT

 
Conflicts will be more difficult to
resolve when both of the persons in
the current family grew up in families
whose approaches to conflict vary.
People usually approach conflict
differently. Family cultures usually
condition individuals approach to
conflict.
My Personal Style of Conflict
 List the 5 most important influences on
your personal response to conflict, in order
of importance.

 List the words that come to mind when

your hear the word conflict
 NEGATIVE APPROACHES TO CONFLICT

 Destruction
 War
 Alienation
 Competition
 Heartache
 Hopelessness
 Anger
 Tension
 Anxiety
 Violence
 Threat
 Pain
 Stress
 POSITIVE APPROACHES TO CONFLICT

 Exciting
 Strengthening

 Helpful

 Growth producing

 Creative

 Intimate

 Courageous

 Clarifying

 Opportune

 Enriching

 Energizing
 When you aware of your current
approach to conflict it will help you to
work on the harmful habits and it will
also be an encouragement to
strengthen your positive approaches.
WHAT’S YOUR APPROACH?

What approaches are most common for you when you

experience conflict in various relationships/situations?
Choose five areas:
 Extended Family ________________

 Nuclear Family __________________

 Romantic Relationship (Dating)______________

 College (peer) ____________________

 College (lecturers) ________________

 Work _______________

 Church __________________

 Club________________