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Mariana Hansen

My Parenting DNA

November 16, 2019

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Summary from Interview

My mom stayed home till I was about 8 years old. Before then, she made sure we were

protected and she taught us how to write. Whenever we were with my dad, he would have us all

lined up and tell us what we can and can’t do. I believe my mom was mostly authoritative while

my dad was completely authoritarian. My mom shared how the only times I was mischievous

growing up was when I fought with my sister. She would be understanding and explain how my

sister was younger and smaller than me. She also shared how I needed to take care of my little

sister instead of hurting her. Another issue she had was when we had to go to our dad’s wedding.

She explained how she really used the gospel and prayer to help us get there and be okay. When

my parents got divorced, my mom went to therapy sessions and read from their suggestions on

how to raise a child on their own. She said those sessions really strengthened her when she was

adjusting to being a single-parent. With my dad, he would have us sit down and lecture us until

he felt we learned our lesson. It was never really a conversation or we never truly had

understanding with him growing up. My sister and I were rarely with him until our teen years.

We had more rules with our dad. My sister and I discussed how my dad decided

boundaries from what he learned from the military. Again, if he wanted to explain a topic with

us, he would sit us down and lecture. My mom sincerely believed we were good children, and

she did not want to add more trials in our life. She didn’t really have many rules besides having

us to go to piano and dance lessons. She explained how our extra-curricular activities really

helped us to form into who we are. She learned after we would return from our dad’s house, she

would need to give us space and adjust. She thinks a routine would be really helpful and learning

multiple ways to teach a child. This way it isn’t repetitive, but more so, enjoyable for my future

children.
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My Memory vs. My Parents’ Memory

I interviewed my mom, and everything she shared was exactly how I remembered it. I did not

know she went to therapy after the divorce, and it really made me appreciate her even more. She

really did strive to help my sister and I have a good childhood. I can honestly see how well she

used the gospel to raise us. My dad lives in Singapore, and I did not make time to call him for the

interview. I instead called my sister to help recollect those memories. Everything we discussed

was fairly similar to how I remember our childhood as well.

What would I like to Continue?

I think how my mom raised us was truly out of love and care. I hope to be more like her when I

raise my children. As we have discussed in class, I think we have to understand the gospel

thoroughly with doctrine and principles. I really loved how my mom said she used the gospel to

help us through the divorce. She saw how much pain and confusion it brought us, and she did not

want to add anymore. I really admire her for that, and I hope to help my children through their

issues with the gospel. I think the real only thing I would like to adopt from my dad’s parenting

is using manners and implementing travel into our lives.

What would I like to Change?

I am not sure if I want to change anything from my mom’s parenting style. She was paranoid at

times because my sister and I are all she has. She simply did not want us to get hurt. Considering

how my dad raised us, I do not want to follow his ways. It made a lot of aspects in my life

harder. I also found it more difficult to even have a real relationship with him. My mom and I

have been to become best friends while my dad I barely want to talk to him. My boyfriend did
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share with me a couple of months ago how sometimes I can be controlling. I have been trying to

slow that down because I truly do not want my children to feel controlled whatsoever.

Compassion and Understanding for My Parents

With most parents, they are typically always striving to do the best that they can. I love how my

mom turned her circumstances around. She did not let any limitations that typically come from

single parenting stop her. She found ways to move past those boundaries, and she found the

gospel to be a real asset in raising us. My dad did not use the gospel to raise us. He is a man

more of the world. I know that may be harsh to say, but I think having the gospel is the real

difference between my parents. I do believe my parents are on two completely different sides of

the spectrum, but the gospel would have helped my dad more in raising us. I think he did

everything he believed was right though. It might have caused us pain, but my sister and I have

made through it. I believe I have said it most of my papers, but I am deeply grateful for God

blessing me with my mother. She is everything I hope to be as a parent and a human.