Writing Feedback Cover Sheet 2: FINAL DRAFT

Student
Name: Tran Nguyen Nhat An S3878351
number:

ENG1701G1 Gerrard Boyle 22/1/2012

Class: Teachers: Date:
Word
402
Count:

Click on the box to ☒ Changes I made after feedback:

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I have used Arial. ☒ Response - ideas ☐
I have used font size 12 ☒ Organisation ☐
I have double spaced ☒ Grammar ☐
Vocabulary ☐

Student self – assessment: Select Good OK or need to improve for each area

Response & Revision Grammar

A full description OK Range of structures OK

Correct sentence
Used teacher OK
structure, subject OK
feedback to improve verb agreement
and punctuation
Structure & Planning Vocabulary
Logically ordered,
cohesive (linking OK New vocabulary OK
words, pronouns)
Made and followed a OK
Spelling & Word OK
plan. Forms

I confirm this is my own work……………………………………………………

Name : Tran Nguyen
Nhat An
Student Number
s3878351
Class Code :
ENG1701-G1

the positive or negative effects that science has on food.

Food is a part of our life. Now, science has applied many biological technologies to
create a difference in our food. Many positive effects are shown when science has
the chance to interfering with the food processor. GMO had contributed to raising
customer awareness about their diet. The attention of people was improved day by
day and they began to pay more attention to what they want to eat. Applying
Science and technology to foods helps to improve the productivity and quality of
Food. Firstly, thanks to the scientific influence on cuisine, it helps to improve
productivity. Their technique helps increasing productivity which leads to more
food production and can potentially transport more to poor households to provide
food. However, not just helping people access quality food, GMOs also help
countries for economical purposes by shorting the production process. This means
a lot because it saves time and cost for agricultural enterprises. Covid-19 creates a
financial crisis which makes many people unemployed. So increasing productivity
in the food industry can resolve employment issues also increase productivity is
also giving positive effects to food storage during disaster and export to other parts
of the world. Applied science to Food can bring a lot of benefits to our society.
Secondly, with science, the quality of food had been improved over the decades.
These days, many kinds of food had been intervened by science such as
vegetarian burgers, coal bread, and others. There are arguments about GMO food
but there are no pieces of evidence about the negative effect of GMO on human.
Therefore, Food quality is well guaranteed. The study had shown that there is
some rare nutrition ingredient that just appears on GMO products. Food quality
increase would improve human health to prevent cardiovascular problems.
Nowadays, there are many cases of food poisoning, but the GMO product had
been qualified by scientists. Not simply good in human health development but
also increase the resistance of consumers. Food produce by GMOs is cheaper but
brings more benefits than organic food. Improving the quality of food brings many
benefits for customers such as health development along with cheaper prices than
conventional foods. In conclusion, using science in food brings more value to
customers. The two most obvious benefits are increased productivity and
enhanced food. This helps to improve and enhance the quality of food in the
future, improving the health of everyone in the country.

Word
s:402