Stress Management

Simple Steps to Manage Your Stress Now

By Joan Breiner and Susyn Reeve
www.SelfEsteemExperts.com

What is Stress?
Stress is your body's way of responding to demands. When you feel threatened, fearful,
out of control your body releases chemicals that kick it into high gear in a rapid,
automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction, or the stress response.

Your stress response is your body’s way of protecting you in the face of real or imagined
threats. For example, in emergency situations the stress response can save your life as
you automatically slam on your car brakes when a deer suddenly runs in front of your
car.

But, when your stress response it sustained over time, it can be damaging to you
physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Self-Esteem & Stress

If you suffer with low self-esteem, you may often criticize and judge yourself, with
thoughts, words and actions that are a reflection of, “I’m not enough,” (not smart
enough, pretty enough, young enough, successful enough, thin enough, wealthy
enough, and the list goes on). In addition when you do not feel good about yourself you
are prone to taking the opinions and judgments of others personally, particularly their
negative criticism.

Your beliefs about yourself are a major cause of stress and anxiety and are a source of
on-going distress in your relationships with yourself and others.

How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being.
Use the exercises in our Self Esteem Lesson Plan to help you to change your thinking
patterns and reduce your stress.

What is Your Reaction to Stress?

Individuals react differently to stress. What is stressful for one person may have little
effect on others. Stress needs to be managed when it stops being helpful and starts
causing problems to your health, mood, productivity, relationships, and quality of your
life.

Stressful situations in life cannot be prevented. However your reaction to stress and
how you manage your self in the face of stressful situations is what stress management
is about.

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What is Stress Management?
Managing stress is based on how you manage yourself in the presence of your
stressors – the situations, circumstances, and thoughts that activate your stress
response. Once you are aware of your stress triggers and your stress signature you
can choose from a variety of stress management techniques that generate an
experience of peace of mind, and clear headedness. If your stress reaction is
debilitating you may choose to engage the services mental health professional, coach,
spiritual guide or support group.

What Triggers Your Stress?

Stress triggers are the situations, circumstances and thoughts that activate your stress
response, and include:

• External Stressors:
o Major life changes – a new baby, marriage, death, divorce, moving to a
new home, losing a job, starting a new job and financial problems
o The Environment – noise: a barking dog, traffic, sirens; a room that is too
hot or too cold; storms
o Family – troublesome teens, family health problems, marital problems
o Workplace – unexpected urgent deadlines, demanding boss,
argumentative co-workers or customers
o Social – close friends move, dating again after a break-up
o Unexpected events – car problems, down-sizing on the job, rent increase

• Internal Stressors – your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings that cause your unrest,
worry, fear and uncertainty. While external circumstances may trigger a stress
response, it is your internal stressors, your personal reaction to the stress
triggers that sustains debilitating dis-ease. Some common internal stressors are:
o Fears – fear of social situations, public speaking, new situations, heights,
etc…
o Beliefs – your opinions, expectations, judgments and attitudes. Your
beliefs are the lenses through which you view your experience. In terms
of self-esteem, if you believe your are “not enough” then you will generally
feel victim to the circumstances that don’t go your way.
o Uncertainty – the discomfort of not being able to control circumstance and
other people. When you are unclear of a decision to make, the stress that
this uncertainty generates can cloud your mind and make it difficult for you
to focus on your goal and identify your next step.

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When you are aware of your stressors, you can intervene in your automatic stress
response sooner rather than later. Take a moment to write down the biggest stressors
you are experiencing right now:

What is Your Stress Signature?

Stress can be dealt with proactively or reactively. Learning to recognize your stress
signature – your personal stress symptoms is crucial in managing and transforming
distress and unease.

Many of us spend so much time in a stressed state, we have forgotten what it feels like
to be fully relaxed and alert.

To determine your stress signature, respond to the following:

• How do react to stress in your thoughts, feelings, words and actions:

• What thoughts do you think when you are stressed? (ex. Nothing ever works for me.
I don’t know what to do? I’m afraid that __________. Etc…)

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• What feelings do you feel when you are stressed? (ex. Emotional reactions: angry,
hopeless, depressed, etc… Physical reactions: headache, stomachache, loss of
appetite, insomnia. Etc…)

• What words do you say when you are stressed? (ex. I can’t believe this is
happening to me. It’s all their fault. I can’t do anything about this. Etc…)

• What actions do you take when you are stressed? (ex. Abusing substances, yelling,
overeating, throwing things. Etc…)

Once you are familiar with your stress signature, you can use your awareness to
intervene in your automatic stress response.

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Stress Management Techniques: There are a wide array of stress management
techniques. It is useful to experiment and learn the stress management activities that
work best for you. For some people physical activity is the a sure way to reduce stress,
for others reading inspiring words, for others being able to vent their feelings is an
instant antidote to stress and for others techniques that have a spiritual focus do the
trick. We have found that it is valuable to have and use a variety of stress management
techniques that are available in your personal toolkit in order to master your stress.
Here are some to experiment with:

• Relax-Smile Breathing – focus your attention on your breath as you inhale say
the word, Relax in your mind and as you exhale, Smile. Do this for at least 5 full
breaths and notice how you are feeling.
• Observe Your Breath – Place your hands on your abdomen, just below your
navel. Inhale slowly through your nose and watch your hand move as your belly
expands. Hold your breath to the count of 1, 2, 3, 4 and then exhale slowly and
observe the movement of your hand. Do this for at least 5 full breaths, and
notice how you are feeling.
• Visualize Calm – Close your eyes, take three long, slow breaths, and spend a
minute picturing a relaxing scene, such as walking in a meadow, kneeling by a
brook, or lying on the beach. Engage all your senses as you focus on the details,
notice what you see, hear the sounds of your relaxing scene, smell the
fragrances, taste the tastes and feel the feelings of calm and relaxation. If you
are having trouble visualizing use this guided imagery meditation on our Self-
Esteem-Experts site.
• Smile – Smiling is a two-way mechanism. We do it when we’re relaxed and
happy, but doing it can also make us feel relaxed and happy. Smiling transmits
nerve impulses from the facial muscles to the limbic system, a key emotional
center in the brain, tilting the neurochemical balance toward a feeling of calm and
relaxation.
• Create an Affirmation – An affirmation is a short, clear, positive statement that
affirms your stress management intention. Some examples are:
o I can handle this.
o This too shall pass.
o I choose peace and calm.
• Daily Inspiration Message – Start your day with inspiring words. Sign-up for
our Self Esteem Experts free Daily Inspiration Messages.
• Take a Walk, a Run, a Yoga Class – Be physical, when you get your body
moving, your biochemistry changes and you experience a greater sense of peace
and calm.
• Meditate – Quiet your body and clear your mind. Explore meditations practices
at Self Esteem Experts.
• Pray – Connecting with the Greater Field of Life – God – in prayer offers a
source of solace and calm.

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 • Vent with a Friend – Share your feelings with a friend who will listen with
compassion and understanding.
• Journal – Write (right!) your thoughts and feelings.

Make a list of the Stress Management Technique you commit to experimenting

with during the next 30 days.

I commit to practicing the following stress management techniques during the next 30
days:

Remember: You have the power to change your reaction to stress.

Use your power and experience greater peace and happiness.

Resources:
• The Inspired Life: Unleashing Your Minds Capacity for Joy
• Choose Peace and Happiness: A 52-Week Guide
• The Mind Manual System
• Self Esteem Experts Daily Inspiration Messages

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