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MaliciousCompliance
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34.7k
Posted by
u/duckanddonuts
3 days ago

20 23 22 17

We cut the damn burrito in half


OCM

Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/MaliciousCompliance.


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level 1
KHCale
·2d

Worked as a duty manager in a pub/restaurant for years. One night one of my FOH guys puts
through a scotch fillet steak with a note for it to be cut into bite sized pieces. Chefs called me into the
kitchen to query it, start laughing and saying they're not going to cut it up. I head out to the floor to
check with FOH as to why it needs to be cut up. Turns out the guy is an amputee from the shoulder
down, only has one hand and is dining along. He cannot physically cut up his steak. Go back and
explain to the chef's who in turn look very sheepish and cut up his steak.
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level 2
FaustsAccountant
·2d

And I’m glad it was handled back in the kitchen rather than someone coming out to the dining room
and making a scene about it. Drawing attention to the guest, cuz they prolly just want to eat and
have a normal experience.
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level 3
HertzDonut1001
·2d
It's pretty rare for cooks to talk directly to the customer.
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level 4
CleUrbanist
·2d

I’d wager that unless it’s to thank the chef, you wanna keep them as far from the FOH as possible
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level 5
Narrow-Device-3679
·2d

Yep, every chef I worked with is a degenerate. That includes myself.


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level 6
TraumatisedBrainFart
·2d

Yes. Am chef. Can vouch. Keep us away from the humans we so despise.
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level 7
Bridget_Bishop
·2d

Am cook/waitress. They only let me wait tables at night when the other degenerates come out.
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level 7
cheffy1976
·2d

Let me at those damn cuntstomers


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level 8
HertzDonut1001
·2d

You're the guy we tell to go burn one in the middle of rush and come back when you're done lol.
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level 6
MossyTundra
·2d

I love when all the kitchen staff come out of the wood work and insist how much of animals the
cooks are. Warms my cold walk-in freezer heart
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level 5
blawndosaursrex
·2d

That’s accurate. I worked for a very small family restaurant. Nice place delicious food. The cook was
the owner and my boss. She was a five foot nothing ball of angry Italian. We had some guest try to
weasel their way out of paying. Lied about the host not telling them specials, server being terrible,
the food being bad, whole nine yards. Well, my boss didn’t take kindly to that. This restaurant has a
banquet hall kinda behind on the other side of the bar. She brought the guests back there. It made
no difference we could hear her screaming at them. She tore up their check and told them to never
step foot in her restaurant again. Those people were not prepared by the looks on their faces when
they left.
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level 6
HertzDonut1001
·2d

Only reason I'd ever own a restaurant to be honest. Customers who get dressed down never fucking
expect it. I try to do the whole "my tone will never leave customer service territory but my words will,"
but God some customers I want to scream at.
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level 5
HertzDonut1001
·2d

We are crass and covered in food and not what you want a paying customer to see or hear lol.
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level 5
shamashedit
·2d

Even then we don’t want to talk to the guests. We know the foods good. We made it with ragelove.
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level 6
not-pride-from-7DS
·2d
Good food is made with hate-fucking
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level 4
omgdoogface
·2d

Yes I spent years running FOH teams and we would do our utmost to avoid the chefs talking to
customers unless it was a cocaine deal.
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level 4
TheDevious_
·2d

Lots of restaurants (non chain/franchise) have open kitchens where we can see the dining room &
customers.
Have had plenty of customers watch me cook, talk to me while I'm prepping or cooking, asking for
my recommendations.
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level 5
Pigrescuer
·2d

One of my favourite local (fancy) restaurants has a bar overlooking the kitchen with 4 seats you can
book for a 7 course tasting menu which is served by the chef who explains what he's serving and the
decisions he made planning it, where he sources the food. You can also pay extra for matched
wines which get the same treatment, and once they did a matched cider event.
It's awesome, looking forward to going again post pandemic.
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level 4
shamashedit
·2d

We don’t want to talk to guests.


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level 2
uncutpizza
·2d·edited 2d

I worked at an Italian pizzeria that doesn’t cut their pizza. They never cut the pizza, like NO pizza
cutter at all and would cut the pizza for you in front of you with a fork and knife to kinda shame the
guest for their incompetence. This one bar guest was a one armed amputee so it was a nice
awkward moment. It was part of the mystique of the place so I understood, but it did bring up the
issue and eventually with new owners had to start asking people when ordering if they want it cut or
not.
Edit: They are Italian style pizzas. Wood fire oven, 12-13in pie, cut with fork and knife
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level 3
liveliestsoul
·2d

love the username


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level 4
uncutpizza
·2d

My origin story🙄
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level 5
MoogTheDuck
·2d

I like you
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level 3
Lutrijk
·2d

It was part of mystic of the place


The mystique
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level 4
raphamuffin
·2d

Mystic pizza!
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level 2
mcgoran2005
·2d
Worked as a cook for years. Once had a server ask to have a meal blended for a customer. They
had been in a really bad accident and their jaw was wired shut. I felt bad for the guy but blended it
well. Even adding broth to make it easier to drink with a straw. He came back a few times before he
healed. He was always super thankful.
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level 3
The_Sanch1128
·2d

Win-win. You made him feel like a normal person, he kept coming back. Nicely done.
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level 4
mcgoran2005
·2d

Yeah, that was the goal. I knew we could offer him things he couldn’t easily make for himself at
home. Wanted it to be better than applesauce and jello.
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level 3
excel958
·2d

Just curious, do you remember what it was that they ordered? Like what foods taste fine while
blended?
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level 4
mcgoran2005
·2d

It was at a Mexican chain restaurant that’s named after a type of car.


It was several different things over the different visits. I eventually switched to blending up items like
whatever meat he felt like with some of the tortilla soup, rice, beans, etc. so I kind of ended up
making him a hearty but blended Mexican soup. Had to be careful not to make it too hot
(temperature wise) so he wouldn’t burn himself. Hot liquid and straws are not a good mix.
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level 5
HimitsuEros
·2d

Blended beans and rice is pretty common in east Asian foods so ya I can totally see this. I was
thinking of steaks and burgers at first though lol
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level 6
Lilholdin
·2d

I’ve worked in places where some of the residents had a strictly purée (pudding-like texture) diet,
and we would totally blend up everything everyone else was eating, while keeping each different
portion separated so that it wasn’t just one large conglomerate of foodstuffs. They’d have a burger,
green beans, fries, and a dessert… just all of them pulverized individually. I always sampled a bite to
make sure they tasted good before giving it to them, and they were all usually pretty tasty.
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level 7
calvinsylveste
·2d

i had the last of my teeth removed a few months ago and while I have dentures now that actually
sounds kind of appealing...at least compared to my step dads insistence that if he puts a whole
hamburger in a blender for me it will be delicious lol
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level 3
NewinChiraq
·2d

You realize it’s a ridiculous request, but if there’s a legitimate reason then you do it. You feel bad but
you don’t expect these special situations
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level 2
Abadatha
·2d

As a long term restaurant worker and manager, the response from the kitchen was fair, and the
reason he asked for the accomodation is also fair, so they accommodated him. I'd say that's 10/10,
and if the cooks.felt sheepish it means they're probably pretty well behaved for cooks, as we are
known to be a rather rough bunch.
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level 3
z3r0f14m3
·2d

My thought as well, more than once a ticket comes with an unreasonable request and I'd throw a fit
only to end up doing it after hearing why lol
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level 4
Abadatha
·2d

Oh yeah. I've had some cooks around me that would pitch a fit about special orders the whole time
they were making them. They never didn't accommodate someone's dietary restriction or whatever,
but man I've heard some awful shit about customers based on nothing but their ticket.
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level 5
Bitchshortage
·2d

I used to work at a dinner theatre with a set menu so we took allergy requests at time of booking so
the kitchen could make sure there was a safe option. I would take them with me to the manager
meeting to talk them over with the chef and I would just groan and know he was going to lose his
mind when I’d read some, like I’m allergic to coke and not Pepsi, I’m allergic to chicken legs but not
breast, I’m vegan and I always get a fruit cup for dessert what about a nice vegan apple pie (I nearly
killed the person who actually wrote that down, she added “just throwing out out there” and the
kitchen would call down whenever she was working and ask if she could get them tickets to the
movie theatre a few blocks away or if they could book a reservation for a different venue and go
JUST THROWING IT OUT THERE. You asked for it, Denise)
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level 6
Abadatha
·2d

I'd lose my complete shit. You're not allergic to Coke, or legs, you don't like them. That's fine, and I
can work with that. The second you're allergic it becomes an actual ordeal, and these people just
aren't.
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level 7
StandingMoonlit
·2d

I knew someone who claimed they were allergic to all types of pasta except the shells….
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level 8
Abadatha
·2d

I hope you knew them because they're now buried under your garage or possibly some endangered
flora.
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level 9
Mad-Elf
·2d

"Feed me, Seymour"


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level 7
Poldark_Lite
·2d

One of my old roommates is allergic to most colas because of something in the caramel colouring.
There's one particular organic cola that he can drink.
TL/dr: I can verify it's a life-threatening allergy. We lived together at the time, he almost died and was
in hospital for a week. __
Before anyone asks, yes, it's a true allergy. He drank RC Cola every day, had since he was a kid,
and suddenly developed swelling and hives. He went through a whole battery of tests and verified it.
Started treating it, having the occasional RC and being okay, but then one day...not okay.
He was incredibly lucky to have had a job at the hospital, working as an orderly. He was patched up
and out of his bed in this same hospital about a week later, sufficiently chastened to avoid caramel
colouring. This was the 70s, they didn't do things by half back then! ♡ Granny
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level 6
tk2310
·2d

That sounds ridiculous, I feel for those poor employee who have to deal with that stuff. On the other
hand, my bf nearly died once because his allergy wasn't taken seriously, although that one was a
reasonable request. He's allergic to many kinds of nuts, so once eating at a restaurant he asked for
nut-free food. They promised him it would be... It wasn't. He choked in his sleep that night and only
survived because his brother was there to wake him up... I guess it is better to take those kinds of
allergies very seriously, but I hate it that some people would abuse that. It makes it so much harder
for people with genuine allergies to be taken seriously...
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level 7
Mandrijn
·2d

Especially nut allergies are known to be dangerous. My dad is only allergic to some nuts and not that
badly but if you ask staff about just one nut they will definitely worry about killing him. I really don’t
understand them messing it up after explicitly stating it.
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level 8
legitttz
·2d

my chef was blanching walnuts in the fryer WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE. we were LIVID when we
found out by putting a guy in the fucking hospital. he had like three french fries... we had told him not
to eat anything fried just in case of any sort of cross contamination of the oil but little did we know...
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level 5
z3r0f14m3
·2d

Lol, I'd be cursing their name while special making their order too. Guess it's just the type that is able
to hack it that acts like that.
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level 5
thepinkestchu
·2d

My chef husband will pitch such a fit if I ask for any special requests on food he's cooking. Is it just a
requirement to complain? Asking 'hey please don't throw onions in mine" seems like such an easy
and reasonable request. He will accommodate any request I make, even unreasonable ones. But he
makes his displeasure known.
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level 2
oneantenna
·2d·edited 1d

I still remember going to my aunt’s home for dinner shortly after my brother had his arm amputated.
She regrettably served steak and corn on the cob. It was tense and my brother was angry about
having his food being cut for him.
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level 3
spiraldistortion
·2d

Yikes.
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level 2
tinkspinkdildo
·2d

One of those moments you’re glad you asked for details!


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level 2
z_agent
·2d

Ha I ordered steak when I was in an arm cast. The waiter asked if I wanted my steak cut. He was so
sweet and concerned. I had totally forgotten I was in a cast and was like....WTF!
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level 2
smokinghorse
·2d

I had a similar situation once with a guy who had no arms , steak had already been sent out and
none of his friends would cut it for him, I really feel for him, yes I gladly cut it for him.
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level 3
turquoisefuego
·2d

Wow. Those friends were jerks. Thanks for being decent and helping him out.
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level 4
smokinghorse
·2d

Totally, I was really worked up about it, poor fucker had to ask.
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level 2
Swiggy1957
·2d

back in the 70s, we had a customer that had been injured in WWII. He had a metal plate, but the
damage inside the brainpan made cutting his food difficult for him. I'd seen him around, poured
coffee for him, but I'd never waited on him. One time, working day shift, I got him at the counter. One
of the regular day waitresses told me to go ahead and cut up his food for him. I'd already heard his
story and knew him well enough that I took care of it without any problem.
I think most restaurants, even before the ADA was passed, would do this.
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level 1
HoodooSquad
·3d

The burrito canoes sound adorable


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level 2
1-800-hold-me-now
·3d

Yeah I'm starting to think my next burrito is going to become two burrito canoes to see what it's like. I
suspect I'm going to find out why nobody cuts their burritos that way.
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level 3
BrunetteMoment
·3d

It really depends on how the burrito is made. You could end up with completely separate ingredients
in each half.
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level 4
Legendary_Bibo
·3d

Like this?
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level 5
Futuristick-Reddit
·3d

You can't share that without the rant it accompanies!


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level 6
jd_balla
·2d

Link?
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level 7
Objective_Butterfly7
·2d

https://medium.com/@jackdire/dear-guy-who-just-made-my-burrito-fd08c0babb57
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level 8
SkollFenrirson
·2d

A wordsmith for the ages


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level 9
cilantrocavern
·2d

I had forgotten, that's the rant that's birthed my username.


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level 8
shoesontoes
·2d

God is sorry he made us. I was happy to reread that.


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level 8
greensloth385
·2d

That. That just made me laugh so hard I almost spit out my food. Thank you for sharing.
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level 8
IdlesAtCranky
·2d

I will now forever live in the Empire of Sour Cream.


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level 9
PJ_Ammas
·2d

I live deep in the Cheesosphere


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level 8
JackSpadesSI
·2d

hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern


That was a great read!
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level 8
Ferris4u
·2d

I had to get out of bed a read this in the bathroom cause my wife was yelling at me. I don’t know how
many times I’ve read this over the years but it has me WEAK with laughter every time!
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level 8
The_Sanch1128
·2d

At my favorite Mexican place, there are some burritos so big that you can't possibly pick them up to
eat them. I have no problem eating those using a fork, especially since they have cheese sauce
and/or salsa on the outside.
What I want to know is how Chipotle can have so many ingredients in their burritos, yet they still
taste like NOTHING.
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About Community
r/MaliciousCompliance
People conforming to the letter, but not the spirit, of a request.
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Created Jan 4, 2016


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