Writing Feedback Cover Sheet 2: SECOND DRAFT

Student
Name: Nguyen Pham Thien an L9941892
number:
27th
S52012A Ciara
Class: Teachers: Date: january,2020
Word 416
Count:
Click on the box to cross ☒ Changes I made after peer feedback:
it
I have used Arial. ☒ Response - ideas ☒
I have used font size 12 ☒ Organisation ☒
I have double spaced ☒ Grammar ☒
Vocabulary ☒
Student self – assessment: Select Good OK or need to improve for each area
Response & Revision Grammar
Click here to Click here to
A full description Range of structures
select select
Correct sentence
Used teacher feedback Click here to structure, subject Click here to
to improve select verb agreement and select
punctuation
Structure & Planning Vocabulary
Logically ordered,
Click here to Click here to
cohesive (linking words, New vocabulary
select select
pronouns)
Made and followed a Click here to Spelling & Word Click here to
plan. select Forms select
I confirm this is my own work…………I tried my best to fixed my problems
…………………………………………
Name : Nguyen Pham
thien an
Student Number :
L9941892
Class Code :S52012A

Nutrient ingredients and preservation technologies

In recent years, scientist's research contributes to the development of society. There

are several positive effects that science brings on food. Significantly with food

technology can apply to create high-quality products to improve human life. Moreover,

people can have a good healthy life with balance food. Food technology is one of the

greatest inventions that food science has created successfully with the large

consumption and preserves technologies that can keep food use for a long time.

Firstly, chemicals in food add plenty of nutrients and appeal to food. According to

science, the human body can imbibe nutrients that have a good influence on their

routine life, people will increase their energy power level and improve people's health.

One of the particular examples is the smoothie beverages made with nutrient enrich

seeds. Additionally, these seeds to create delicious smoothie drinks include iron,

potassium, magnesium, and different essential vitamins with delicious fruits such as

mango, kiwi. Furthermore, scientists produce artificial food coloring to make food feel

palatable with various colors and many savory flavors of food that caught the eye-

catching of people at the first time. Especially, tasty cakes that add several colors and

sugary ingredients will attract customer's eyes. For these reasons, it will lead to the

expansion of the food processing industry and technology analyses in the future.
Secondly, food can keep fresh for a long time due to scientists have created

preservation technologies. Many years ago, people put food such as vegetables or

cooked food in the air environment for three to five days with peculiar phenomenons

such as mildew and worse smell of food due to microorganism and bacteria invasive in

food. To deal with these situations, scientists created preservation technologies such as

canned food and bottling methods to preserve the food at high heat and maintain the

same taste in food. Moreover, it is easy to find canned food in the market and

supermarket areas. Remarkably, many household families can warm the food and use

time effectively. While the backyard is the most suitable place to have fresh fruit and

green vegetables, people use bottling methods is one of the incredible ways to preserve

the sweet flavor of the fruit.

In conclusion, the preservation of technologies and nutrients are fortunately discoveries

of scientists. Moreover, it is a leap of process industry to develop good food for the

human being on the other hand there will be useful productions is made by modern

techonology to help human protect food safetyin the future .

Word
416 s: