BULLYING (RAGGING)

EFFECT OF BULLYING

[“He was a shadow of himself, a complete opposite of the boy I’ve always know, no
longer hyper-active, no longer the ever talking funny, loving and sweet boy that we all
love. He was gone completely, that sweet child as died
complety………………………………”]
BULLYING “17 OUT
OF 20

(RAGGING) BULLY
VICTIMS
EFFECT OF BULLYING
ARE LEFT
BULLYING
TRUMATIS
“The word is not new to us neither is it news
to us, we know it, seen it and even experience it,
ED”
but what have we done about it? Do we actually [Clearly, the most visible
plan on doing anything, or are we just going to and dramatic result from
sit back and watch innocent kids pushed to the
being bullied is a
point of death? {#suicideawareness}, are we
student’s suicide or
gonna do something until our kids fall victim?
taking of his own life.
Why wait till the damage is done before acting,
before speaking out {#standagainstbullying}”

RAGGING

This basically involves tormenting freshmen at school, an initiation

process involving harassment. This word is mainly word is mainly used
in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri, Lanka and Malaysia. It involves
existing students baiting or bullying new students. It often takes a
malignant form wherein the newcomers may be subjected to
psychological or physical torture. {Source: Wikipedia}.

Now on to BULLYING. Bullying is the repeated, verbal, physical,

social or psychological aggressive behavior by a person or group
directed towards a less powerful person or group that is intended to
cause harm, distress or fear. Bullying can happen in diverse ways,
verbal or written, sexual harassment, discrimination, cyberbullying e.t.c.
Bullying has a negative impact on everyone involved. Below is a story
{copied} that tells the impact of bullying on its victims.
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“HIS NAME WAS STEVEN: A 13-YEAR-OLD VICTIM OF BULLYCIDE

By Jonathan Hewitt

640

His name was Steven. He was 13 years old and six years ago, he hung himself in
his bedroom closet after being tormented by bullies. Last week, his father reached
out to me after reading my HuffPost article, “Bullying: The Really Big Problem
Behind the Really Big Problem” about National Bullying Prevention Month and self-
bullying. In a horrible twist of irony, last week also marked the loss of another teen.
15-year-old Amanda Todd took her life after years of relentless bullying. Just last
month, she had uploaded a nine-minute video to YouTube entitled Amanda Todd’s
Story: Struggling, Bullying, Suicide, Self-Harm. It’s a tragic reality that there have
been so many suicides attributed to bullying that we now have a word to describe it:
bullycide.

This is Steven’s story. The story of a life that ended way too soon. It’s the story of
Steven’s parents and the unfathomable pain they have had to endure. It’s a story
that hopes to honor Steven, Amanda and all the other victims of senseless bullying
while trying to bring awareness and change to the greatest youth epidemic of our
time.

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 Steven was a sweet, sensitive and artistic kid. He
adored his older sister and he loved skateboarding, baseball, music and his dog,
Finster. He also happened to be a little awkward. He was a smallish kid who was
different and just didn’t quite fit in. To some extent he had always been the target of
teasing, but it was in middle school at the beginning of 7th grade when the bullying
escalated to a level Steven could no longer face. That day, his tormentors set him
on fire with a lighter and an aerosol can of body spray. They recorded their attack on
a cell phone and posted it on the Internet. Later that evening while his mom was
getting dinner ready, Steven took his own life.

It had been about a month since Mike and Pam Urry, Steven’s parents, had become
aware of the severity of the bullying. They had met with school officials, filed police
reports and had made plans to remove Steven from his school. Mike says, “We just
found out too late, or maybe we didn’t act fast enough, I don’t know. The teachers
and staff had no plan, no procedure in place to identify and stop the abuse.”

It’s a story we hear all too often. Tragically, many people knew what was going on,
including many of Steven’s fellow students. One of the bystanders wrote about her
guilt and shame on her blog:

We all knew what he went through. We knew who beat him up. We knew who locked him in a
cupboard. We knew who had held his head under water in a sink. So why hadn’t we told anyone?
We were stupid. And we expected somebody else to do something about it. I wish I could
apologize to Steven. No, I never bullied him up front, but if you’re not part of the solution, you’re
part of the problem.
It was Steven’s mom who found him after he had hung himself when she went to tell
him to wash up for dinner. Mike was at work and a police officer was sent to pick
him up and take him to the hospital. Not knowing what had happened, he was
escorted to a private room and “I instantly felt my blood run cold,” he said. Pam was
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hysterical, crying convulsively and shaking her head violently as if to refuse what
she was hearing. Mike says, “It was a tidal wave of pain and panic. Our boy had
taken his own life. My son was gone. Our beautiful boy was just... gone.”

Mike says he spent that day in a state of “massive emotional trauma.” He doesn’t
remember very much of those first few days, but what he does remember haunts
him to this day. “It’s just one long nightmare I keep having. Seeing my son in the
morgue, on a slab,” he says. “I can still see the ligature marks around his neck.” He
can also still recall with crystal clarity the scream Pam let out as she awoke the day
after Steven’s death and remembered what happened. It’s a horror no parent should
ever have to endure.

“Preparing our son’s funeral was beyond surreal,” says Mike. Pam read her letter to
Steven to the packed chapel. “It was the most profoundly perfect and beautiful
message from a mother to her child we had ever heard.” Pam’s father had dug and
prepared Steven’s grave and Mike lowered the urn into the ground with his own
hands. “My last act as Steven’s father.”

It has been almost six years now since they experienced the unthinkable act of
burying their child, but tragically, it’s stories like Amanda Todd’s from just last week
that can trigger an avalanche of emotion. “The power of these triggers to propel me
right back to the emotional moment of Steven’s death is overwhelming, like nothing
I’ve ever experienced,” says Mike. “It’s like the six years since never happened, like
it’s December 2006 all over again.”

In Part 2 of this story we’ll hear how Steven’s parents endured the pain and grief
after Steven’s death and how the cruel act of their son’s bully has become their own
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personal trauma. We’ll also hear how Mike has channeled his pain into an
organization called His Name Was Steven to help prevent other children and teens
from suffering at the hands of bullies as his son did and prevent other parents from
experiencing the horror they have.

This is Steven’s story. But for Steven, Amanda and all the other children and teens
who have suffered, let’s make it OUR story. Let’s make this a story to awaken us to
the reality of this great epidemic. Let’s make it a call and an outcry for change.”

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention
Lifeline.

Follow Jonathan Hewitt on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LifeKidoWay

Jonathan Hewitt Author, ‘Life Ki-do Parenting: Tools to Raise Happy, Confident
Kids from the Inside Out’.

EFFECTS

Bullying effects can’t be hidden, we just need to look deep and it’s there to see in
the victim….
Somehow, people think bullying is a part of life, a part of growing up and an opportunity to
stand up for yourself. Some kids naturally will not accept being bullied, and will stand against
it. Others are not that brave and will crumble at it. They end up feeling lonely, unhappy and
frightened. It can make them lose confidence and interest in school. These effects are also
signs that kids may exhibit when being abused by bullies.
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