6 Marks of Biblical Modesty: How God

Brings Sexy Back

Modesty is a controversial topic, especially when you throw God into the mix. Some
simply cannot fathom, amidst all the great injustices in the world, that God actually
cares if a girl wears skin-tight pants with the word “Juicy” written on them.

But in the end, it is the Word of God that should drive our discussions about modesty.
What has God revealed about it?

First and foremost, a biblical definition of modesty must focus on the heart. Modesty is
primarily about our motivations. In addition, modest dress is also about discernment,
having an awareness of others and our environment.

Modern Modesty Controversies

In a recent conversation, a woman I spoke with seemed deeply offended when I

suggested a woman’s manner of dress could tempt a man to lust. She wasn’t denying
the claim that men lust after women, but she was emphatic that women are not to blame
for a man’s lustful thoughts and actions.

She’s right, of course. A person is never guilty of another person’s sin.

This woman’s protest is, in part, motivated by a desire to fight various rape myths in our
culture. When a girl dresses scantily, goes to a college party, gets drunk, makes out
with a dozen guys, and then is raped, for some there is a tendency to say, “Well, she
was just asking for it.” This kind of victim-blaming, sadly, leads some to temper any
compassion for such women when they are abused.

Let’s be clear: victims of rape are not guilty of their rape. The girl who walks across
campus at 2 a.m. and gets assaulted is not to blame for the crime committed against
her. Similarly, victims of another’s lust do not thereby mean a woman is guilty of lust.
She should never be made to account for another person’s sin.

Where then does modesty fit into the Christian ethic?

Paul on Modesty: 1 Timothy 2:8-10

“I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty

and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is
proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.“

Christian women should concern themselves with modesty because the Bible does.
This text is a primary example.

(For the purposes of this article, I am writing about women because Paul is writing
about women in these verses. I recognize that men should also embrace modesty.)

1. Modesty is not anti-pretty

At the outset, we should take note that Paul is not anti-adornment. The force of his
statement is positive: “women should adorn themselves.” These are not the words of an
anti-fashion prude. The same word “adorn” is used to speak of a bride beautifying
herself for her husband (Revelation 21:2). It is a term that expresses being ornamented,
well-kempt, and put in order.

The question for Paul isn’t about whether a woman should ornament her body, but how.

2. Modesty is about who you worship

In the context, Paul is talking about how women should prepare themselves for
gathering at church. Women are commanded to adorn themselves in a way that is fitting
for worship. If they “profess godliness”—that is, they desire to show God honor and
reverence—how should they dress?

Paul puts his finger on the trigger of the problem. In Ephesus, the original destination of
this letter, the cultural elite were known for their gaudy and extravagant wardrobes, their
elaborate hair styles, and their expensive clothing that communicated extraordinary
wealth. Paul paints a picture of this for the Ephesians Christians and says, “Don’t mimic
that. When you come to church, come dressed in a way that shows you desire to the
attention to be on God, not yourself.”

A person’s manner of dress, or even their preoccupation with clothing itself (Matthew
6:28-30), is often indicative of a heart that loves self more than God.

3. Modesty is about behavior and attitude, not just clothing

When Paul says that women should wear “respectable apparel,” the term “apparel” is
probably translated too narrowly: it is a term that encompasses not just clothing, but
one’s whole demeanor, attitude, and actions.
Ultimately, what should adorn a woman is not just clothing but “good works.” As
Christians, we are being remade by God for good works (Ephesians 2:10). Christ died
so that we might be zealous for good works (Titus 2:14). Women should seek to dress
their lives in works that do good to others, marked with godly love.

This means modesty is not simply about what we wear, but how we act, how we
communicate, and how relate to others.

4. Modesty shows sensitivity to sin

In this text Paul says a woman’s apparel should be worn with “modesty.” Other
translation opt for the word “decency.” The King James Version translates this
“shamefacedness,” which gets more to the heart of the word.

It is talking about a demeanor of reverence, showing respect to oneself and a regard for
others. It even carries the connotation of “bashful.” Connected to the term “shame,” the
word implies the idea of grief over sin that is in the world—that a woman would be so
sensitive to sin, knowing that sin is offensive to God, that she would never come close
to trying to provoke it in others.

No, a woman is not guilty of a man’s lust if she dresses with the intention to allure him.
Let him account for his sins. But she is guilty of a lack of shamefacedness, for treating
sin lightly. A heart of modesty is motivated by a love for one’s fellow man.

5. Modesty involves cultural discretion

Paul didn’t just paint broad strokes when talking about modesty; he gave specifics. He
said braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire were out of place for a truly modest
woman.

Some knowledge of Roman culture is helpful for understanding what Paul is saying. In
Paul’s day, Greek hairstyles for women were fairly simple: hair was parted in the middle
and pinned in the back. But a culture change was sweeping the region. Women in the
imperial household were wearing their hair with elaborate curls and braids, covered in
expensive ornaments. The elite throughout the empire copied this style.

For Paul, the appearance of braids and ornaments was more about what the fashion
communicated. They carried connotations of imperial luxury and conjured up images of
notoriously immoral Empresses like Valeria Messalina and Poppeaea Sabina, ancient
equivalents of Cosmopolitan cover girls.

The poet Juvenal, a contemporary of Paul, gives a vivid description of this cultural trend:

“There is nothing that a woman will not permit herself to do. Nothing that she deems
shameful. And when she encircles her neck with green emeralds and fastens huge
pearls to her elongated ears, so important is the business of beautification. So
numerous are the tiers and stories piled one another on her head that she pays no
attention to her own husband.”

Similarly, the philosopher Philo gives a description of a prostitute in his writing called
“The Sacrifices of Cain and Abel”:

“A prostitute is often described as having hair dressed in elaborate braids, her eyes with
pencil lines, her eyebrows smothered in paint and her expensive clothes embroidered
lavishly with flowers and bracelets and necklaces of gold and jewels hanging all over
her.”

Paul’s description of immodest dress conjured a picture of someone preoccupied with

appearance, fashion, luxury, and sexual prowess. Similarly, modern modesty standards
are not about arbitrary rules of how much skin is shown or how low-cut something is,
but about the messages and values our clothing communicates.

6. Modesty is about true freedom, not repression

More often than not, modesty standards are seen as repressive, arbitrary rules that
restrict a woman’s creativity and freedom. But when modesty is motivated from the
heart, the exact opposite is true.

Paul says women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with “self-control.”
This might be better understood as “self-mastery,” being of sound mind or sober, being
in control of one’s impulses and appetites. In extra-biblical literature, this word has
sexual nuances: being able to totally control your romantic and erotic desires.

Habitual immodesty is often, though not always, a kind of slavery. A woman may be
enslaved by her desire to attract a man. She might define her worth by her fashion
sense, her sex appeal, her image, her bust size, her weight, or the brand names she
wears. This kind of slavery is widespread because sin impacts us all, and in today’s
sexually charged, media-saturated culture, many women fall prey to this kind of slavery.

But as Christians we are free from the slavery of sin because we are united to Christ.
Paul exhorts us to live out this freedom: “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body,
to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:12). When it comes to modest dress, we can
follow Paul’s next statement quite literally: Do not present the members of your body to
sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present your members to God as
instruments for righteousness (v.13). Paul wants Christian woman to have self-mastery
in their wardrobe choices, to be totally free from worldly ways of defining worth, beauty,
and sexiness.

Ironically, it is not just those who are scantily dressed that are enslaved, but even those
who pride themselves on their modesty. “Modest is hottest,” they say, unaware that in
their own hearts, they are still enslaved to a preoccupation with their physical image, still
defining their worth by their outward adornment.
Defining Modesty

Taken together, these aspects of modesty help to give us a working definition. Modesty

is a respectable manner of adorning one’s body and carrying oneself, born out of
a freedom from a worldly definition of beauty and worth, and motivated by a
hatred of sin and a desire to draw attention to God.  

When it comes to the subject of modest clothing, the first question we should ask
ourselves is: What am I trying to accomplish by what I wear?

The Real Meaning of Modesty

(Hint: It's not about sexual temptation)

Rachel Marie Stone

The tall woman in jeans and heavy eye makeup was wild-eyed and frantic. She carried
a yellow legal pad with extensive notes scrawled in blue ballpoint pen, and couldn't wait
to sit down with the pastor—who was my husband, Tim—and me to share what was on
her mind.
"Women must dress modestly," she began. "Modesty is disappearing in our culture and
it is up to Christians to uphold it." Then she started reading Bible verses off her legal
pad and readying herself to deliver a passionate sermon.

"Wait, hold on," Tim said when the woman showed no signs of slowing or stopping what
was turning into a rant. "What is it that you're concerned about? What do you want to
discuss with us?"

He had a vague idea of what it might be because, several weeks before, this woman
had loudly rebuked a female member of our church for being "inappropriately dressed"
(which was entirely debatable).

As it happened, the woman wanted to discuss the dress I had worn to church the previous
Sunday.

As it happened, the woman wanted to discuss the dress I had worn to church the
previous Sunday. It was long enough, she said. (I hope so, as it touched the tops of my
sandals!) But because I was wearing a denim jacket over it, she suspected it might be
strapless. And that would be unacceptable.

"It has straps," I said, "but even if it was strapless, I didn't take off my jacket." (I was 21
years old at the time, which, I hope, partly explains why I felt the need to justify myself
when I'd clearly done nothing wrong.)

"Doesn't matter. I couldn't tell that it wasn't strapless," she insisted.

The conversation became even less reasonable from there, and it is perhaps
unnecessary to note that it did not end very well.

Defining modesty

One point that my husband and I tried to make in our conversation with the woman was
this: What is considered "modest" (or not) depends on your social and cultural context.
Many Christian communities, for example, might find the woman's jeans and makeup
inappropriate. (Consider what the early church father Tertullian had to say about
makeup: "Whatever is born is the work of God. Whatever, then, is plastered on that, is
the devil's work.")

The woman, however, was baffled that the Bible verses she'd brought did not make
absolutely clear to us—and to everyone—what did and did not constitute modesty for
everyone and for all time: in other words, a universal standard of modesty.