Cyan Matthews

Email Assignment

Address line: "Laura Laughlin" <l_laughlin@fanshaweonline.ca>

Subject line: Thank a lot

To: c_matthews97877@fanshaweonline.ca

Cyan,

I get that you may have been "sick" but not attending our group meeting about our project was very
selfish. Not everything is about you, especially when my grade is at stake here. Get it together and stop
making up excuses for not doing your share of the work!!! Or at lest send over the work you have done!

THANKS

Laura

Weaknesses:

 The subject line comes off a little unclear because it doesn’t explain what the email is about
 There is unneeded space between all the paragraphs in the email
 There is a tremendous amount of anger used in the text
 The overall tone of the text is very aggressive and emotional
 The goodwill closing is not present
 The use of capitalization is not necessary in the closing

Good copy:

Address Line: "Laura Laughlin" <l_laughlin@fanshaweonline.ca>

Subject line: Group project

To: c_matthews97877@fanshaweonline.ca

Cyan,

I understand that you haven’t been feeling well, however we still have a project due. If you would be
able to send over the work you have completed because it does affect all of our grades. Hope you feel
better!

Thank you,

Laura