Judgement day

Why we shouldn’t be scared of judging or being judged.

These days, being judged seems to be the ultimate nightmare anyone

could endure. You don’t believe me? Try posting an update on your
social media profile including the words “I am judging you”. Grab a cup
of tea and watch while your thread comes alive with all kind of ugly red
faced emojis! And you get unfriended faster than you can say “cancel
culture sucks!”
While happily spewing diatribe and opinions about everything and
everyone in cyberspace, your average social media user gets upset at
their assessment by others of their existence. Isn’t it funny that the more
vocal internauts are, the more offended they appear as soon as they
become the target of another’s disapproval (real or imaginary)?
And let’s face it: we have all done it.127

Somebody should have warned us that in the jungle that is social media,
judgement is unavoidable. While the word originally doesn’t have to
equate criticism, it has now acquired a definite negative connotation
implying the person judging you is somewhat doing so from a higher
standpoint.

But here’s the catch: when someone negatively evaluates you, what
makes you feel they are doing so from a place of superiority? If you
value your own actions and opinions, which you should strive to do, how
come the views of another end up making you feel so vulnerable and …
wrong? Surely, if you are confident enough to share your ideas and
experiences on social media, you must be convinced it has some value,
otherwise, why bother ? 123

Judgement is everywhere, yet paradoxically, accepted by no one.

The current social media trend appears to see users refusing to own up
to their ideas or worse still, abstaining from sharing them in the fear of
offending someone, preferring insipid comments or borderline insulting
platitudes such as “I’m sorry this happened to you…” (because you lost
your keys or something). Yes, being liked can be hard work.

Well, I suspect what most of us are looking for is validation, and

unfortunately, whatever remarks one gets from a stranger on social
media, we shouldn’t let it carry so much weight, as it will be irremediably
shallow and uninformed, whatever the tone. Even trolls, in their
narcissistic attempt to create a response are desperate to be
acknowledged.
Think about it. Who are the media people who inspire you, or simply the
ones you may have heard about, the influencers as we call them?
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Do they go crying whenever someone attack them or pass judgement on
their words or behaviour? The best of them will either ignore such
slander or reassert their opinions. They do not care about being judged,
as it is part of the fame game, the best players know that and we love
them for it!
If you cannot handle criticism, don’t chance it, and remain ignored and
unheard of in cyberspace obscurity forever. “If you can’t take the heat,
get out of the kitchen “comes to mind…and grow some ovaries! Or a
sense of humour, British style.

Meanwhile, it is a disease of this century that nobody sees criticism as a

mean to improve oneself. Because, you could look at it another way.
Being judged can be good for you.
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Judgement can make you consider the possibility that you are not
always as perfect as you think. Instead of rejecting judgement, embrace
it, take what it has to offer: an opportunity for growth and betterment.
Either that or the person may be an idiot with a nasty streak…but who
are you to judge them?!?

On the other side of the coin, have you ever been accused of being
judgmental? Such painful insult (I bet most of us would rather be tagged
ignorant…)! Well, maybe you were and the judgement is being thrown
back at you, and it doesn’t feel good, does it? Lesson learned.

Insidiously, it can be a tactic to turn the tables on someone who may

actually have something relevant to say but if the truth hurts, and is too
much to bear, then the accusation of being judgmental will fly and
annihilate, so next time somebody starts with that rhetoric, you can
smugly respond as Nicky Minaj once did,” Respect your haters (in this
case, those accusing you of being judgmental), they are the only ones
who think you are better than them”.

Feeling judged yet?191