Singleness with a purpose

How many times have you heard someone say, "He's such a nice guy; how come he's still
single?" Or, "She's such a hottie." “When is she going to get married?” The implication of
such questions is that great men and women marry, while ordinary people do not. For many
people, being single imprints a meaning on their very identities: they are defective, second-
rate, and somehow less than those who marry. In response to this message, Scripture teaches
that single Christians are defined by their union with Jesus Christ, not by their singleness.
Singleness, like marriage, is a calling from God, not an identity. The calling of singleness
does not imbue a single person with any different identity than a married person. It does,
however, leave an imprint. That meaning, however, conveys a message about God rather than
a single person. Singles will experience greater joy in their calling as they discover the
meaning that God ascribes to singleness, and those who minister to them will be better
prepared to encourage them to live that calling out.

The Meaning of Being Single

To understand the true meaning of singleness, one must first understand the true meaning of
marriage. When Paul writes, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to
Christ and the church,” he reveals the ultimate meaning of marriage (Eph 5:32). The shocking
revelation here is that marriage is ultimately about Christ's relationship to his church, not the
relationship between a man and a woman. Marriage was designed from the start to be
modeled after the relationship between Christ and the church. The eternal relationship
between Christ and the people he would save existed in God's mind before creation, and
marriage was created to symbolize that relationship. This is extremely significant because it
demonstrates that the meaning of marriage is, and has always been, about something that is
equally true for single people as it is for married people. Marriage is not an eternal norm that
must be met in order for a person to be considered normal. Christ and the church, on the other
hand, are the norm. A husband and wife's love and devotion to one another in marriage
exemplifies Christ's supreme love and devotion to the church. Marriage is referred to in the
Bible as a "type." It's similar to an imprint in wax left by a ring seal. The design imprinted on
the wax is not the ring itself; rather, it is a reflection of the ring's design. Marriage, as a
symbol, reflects a reality larger than itself. It reflects a heavenly reality and foreshadows that
same reality when it comes to earth in its entirety. [1] Marriage reflects the heavenly reality
of Christ's devoted and loving union with the church. It foreshadows the day when that union
will be a permanent earthly reality. However, once reality has arrived, the image is no longer
required. This is why, when Christ returns, human marriage will cease to exist.

Demonstrate the Importance of Your Singleness

To begin, we must remember that Christians are not ultimately defined by their calling.
Singleness is a calling, not a state of being. A Christian's identity, that which defines him at
his core, is firmly rooted in his union with Jesus Christ, never to be shaken. God's love for
him is what distinguishes him. In Christ, he is loved, valued, forgiven, accepted, purposed,
and empowered. This is who he is and always will be. Your identity in Christ is the same
whether you are called to singleness or marriage. Singleness and marriage are both temporary
callings that may change throughout life, but a Christian's identity will not. A woman's
calling may change from single to married, or from married to single again, but her identity in
Christ as God's beloved child, heir to all the precious and great promises of God, will never
change (2 Pet 1:4).
Second, the meaning of singleness will be revealed in the struggle for God's contentment.
Because singles are called to find in God what married people often find in one another,
singleness is uniquely designed to demonstrate God's sufficiency and superiority. Those who
are called to marriage frequently find love, affirmation, security, comfort, companionship,
and intimacy in their spouses, among other things. For those who are single, however, having
a sense of these things is often less certain or immediate, necessitating a greater reliance on
God for the fulfillment of such needs and desires. Singleness, in a unique way, points to the
truth that all of our needs and desires are ultimately met in Christ alone. Singles must strive to
be so content with all that Christ has for them that they can say, like Paul, that they have
learned to be content in whatever situation they find themselves in (Phil 4:11).

Finally, the meaning of singleness is revealed when a single Christian actively participates in
service to Christ and the church. Too many single Christians live their lives as if their
singleness is just a pause before the real life begins in marriage. As a result, they postpone
active participation in Christ's service, believing that such full-scale participation in the
church can wait until they are married. This way of life sends a distorted message about God,
subjugating Christ and the church to marriage rather than the other way around. Singles must
prioritize serving Christ over looking for a spouse in order to demonstrate the meaning of
singleness that God desires—namely, that devotion to Christ is primary. Let singles
demonstrate that Jesus is truly enough for them by actively serving his church.