DOCUMENT RESUME

ED 091 733 CS 201 338

TITLE A Scale for Evaluation of High School Student
Essays.
INSTITUTION California Association of Teachers of English,
Redlands.; National Council of Teachers of English,
Champaign, Ill.
PUB DATE 60
NOTE 33p.; Prepared for the California State Articulation
Conference under the Joint Subcommittee on
Composition; See related documents CS 201 320-375
BURS PRICE MF-$0.75 HC-$1.85 PLUS POSTAGE
DESCRIPTORS *Composition (Literary); *Educational Research;
*Evaluation Methods; *Expository Writing; Language
Arts; *Measurement Instruments; Research Tools;
Resource Materials; Secondary Education
IDENTIFIERS *The Research Instruments Project; TRIP
ABSTRACT
Designed to provide a scale for assessing the quality
of short expository essays, this material includes a group of six
expository essays about 250-300 words in length arranged in order of
quality. Each essay is followed by critical comments and a general
discussion of the characteristics of essays at that level of quality.
No validity or reliability data are reported, but thirty-seven of
forty college students in advanced composition courses were able to
arrange the six essays in the order established in the scale. [This
document is one of those reviewed in The Research Instruments Project
(TRIP) monograph "Measures for Research and Evaluation iv the English
Language Artsu to be 'published by the Committee on Research of the
National Council of Teachers of English in cooperation with the ERIC
Clearinghouse on Reading and Communication Skills. .A TRIP review
which precedes the document lists its category (Writing), title,
author, date, and age range (high school), and describes the
instrument's purpose and physical characteristics.] (RB)
 r^NCTE Committee on Research
'I0. The Research Instruments Project (TRIP)
U S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH,
EDUCATION i WELFARE
PATIONAL. INSTITUTE OF
EDUCATION
THIS DOCUMENT HAS BEEN REPRO
OUCED EXACTLY AS RECEIVED FROM
THE PERSON OR ORGANIZATION ORIGIN
. ATING IT. POINTS OF VIEW OR OPINIONS
STATED 00 NOT NECESSARILY REPRE
SENT OFFICIAL NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF
EDUCATION POSITION'0R POLICY.

The attached document contains one of the measures reviewed

in the TRIP committee monograph titled:

Measures for Research and Evaluation

in the English, Language Arts

TRIP is an acronym which signifies an effort to abstract

and make readily available measures for research and evalua-
tion in the English language arts. These measures relate to
language development, listening, literature, reading, standard,
English as a second language or dialect, teacher competencies,
or writing. In order to make these instruments more readily
available, the ERIC Clearinghouse on Reading and Communication
Skills has supported the TRIP committee sponsored by the Committee
on Research of the National Council of Teachers of English and
has processed the material into the ERIC system. The ERIC
Clearinghouse accession numbers that encompass most of these
documents are caAa3;to -CS.20/37.5:

TRIP Committee:
W.T. Fagan, Chairman
University of Alberta, Edmonton
Charles R. Cooper
State University of New York
at Buffalo
Julie M. Jensen
The University of Texas at Austin

'
elk Bernard O'Donnell
Director, ERIC/RCS
ry\ Roy C O'Donnell
The University of Georgia
Liaison to NCTE Committee
on Research

41111,6/04 NATIONAL COUNCIL OF TEACHERS OF ENGLISH

VD r; ill, KENYON ROAD
URBANA, ILLINOIS 61801
Category: Writing

Title: A Scale for Evaluation of High School Student Essays

Authors: Joint Snbconuwittce on Composition, California Association

of Teachers of English

Age Range: High School

Description of Instrument:

Purpose: To provide a scale for the assessment of the wality of

short expository essays.

Date of Construction: 1960

Mysical Description: The scale is a group of six expository

essays about 250-300 words in length arranged in order of qualiti,.

Each essay is followed by critical comments and a general discussion of

the characteristics of essays at that level of quality.

The scale was developed from a random sample of 561 essays from a

California state-wide sampling of the writing of high school students.

Validity, Reliability, and Normative Data:

. No validity or reliability data are reported; however, thirty-seven

of forty college students in advanced composition courses were able to

arrange the six essays in the order established for the scale.

Ordering Information:

EDRS

Related Documents:

A Scale for Evaluation of High School.Student Essays, Urbana, Illinois:

National Council of Teachers of English, 1960.

A Sc: le for
Evaluation of
igh School
Student Essays

Sponsored by
The California Association
of Teachers of English
 Prepared for the
California State
Articulation
Conference

under the direc-

tion of the
joint Subcommittee
on Composition A SCALE FOR EVALUATION
OF HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT ESSAYS
by

PAT NAIL
RODNEY FITCH
JOHN IIALVERSON

PHIL GRANT
IV. FIELD WINN,
Chairman

Sponsored by

The California Association of Teachers of English

Published by the
'PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE THIS COPY
NGHTED MATERIAL eliS BEEN GRANTED BY

Natic. 131 Council of National Council of

Teachers of English
Teachers of Enargfi
TO ERIC AND ORGANIZATIONS OPERATING
UNDER AGREEMENTS WITH THE RATIONAL IN.
STITUTE OF ED'ICATION FURTHER REPRO.
DUCTION OUTSIDE THE ERIC SYSTEM RE-
508 South Sixth Sweet QUIRES PERMISSION OF THE COPYRIGHT
OWNER"
Champ ugn, Ink ois
 Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION 3

Section I: BACKGROUNDS 5

Section II: PROCEDURES 7

Section III: FINDINGS

Section IV: USE OF THE ESSAY SCALE 11

Section V: THE EVALUATION OF ESSAYS 13

Section VI: SYMBOLS USED IN THE CORRECTION OF

ESSAYS 14

Section VII: THE ESSAY SCALE 15

Section VIII: OBSERVATIONS AND RECOMMEN-

DATIONS 31
 SECTION I

BACKGROUNDS
The material presented here is the result of a study begun in 1957 of
the writing ability of California high school seniors. It is 'part of a larger
project of the State Articulation Conference Joint Subcommittee on
Composition, which includes in its scope the task of defining acceptable
standards of student composition at several academic levels. It is the
responsibility of the Joint Subcommittee, through the exchange of infor-
mation and ideas, to encourage and facilitate the establishment of com-
parable and clearly defined standards of achievement and competence in
English composition throughout the public educational institutions of
ti'e state.
The practical objective of this study has been to develop a scale,
based upon clearly defined criteria of good 'writing, which can be of
value to the high school English teacher. And since the development of
proper habits of expression in writing should be the concern of every
school official and teacher, it is hoped that this scale will find general
acceptance and use. It should be made clear, however, that the Joint
Subcommittee does not consider itself authorized to compete with or to
operate iM conflict with the duly established agencies for determining
policies or requirements. Nor is the scale presented here to be construed
as anything more than a sincere attempt to describe and define the levels
of proficiency in student writing evaluated on the basis of established
criteria and developed into a scale of graded essays.
The committee responsible for this work consisted of Dr. N. Field
Winn, Chico State College, chairman; Mr. Pat Nail, Woodside High
School; Mr. Rodney Fitch, Coalinga Junior College; Mr. Phil S. Grant,
University of California; and Mr. John Halverson, also of the University.
This study group was appointed in 1956 by the Articulation Conference
Joint Subcommittee on English Composition, of which Dean Hector Lee
of Chico State College was chairman.
Successful completion of the project was made possiVe by the steady
encouragement, guidance, and specific aid in many whys given by the
officers of the Joint Sui..zornmittee: Dr. Grace Bird, Associate Director
of the Office of Relations with Schools for the University of California;
'.,efessor James Lynch of the Department of English, University of Cali-
fornia at Berkeley, and secretary of the Joint Subcommittee; Mr. Alfred
Livingston, then Director of Coalinga Junior College and vice-chairman of
the Jo:r.t Sub, ninittee; and Dean Lee, chairritItt.

Some financial assistance was provided by the University of California

at the personal request of President Robert Gordon Sproul, financial and
6 BACKGROUNDS

personnel assistance by the State Department of Education through its

Division of State Colleges and Teacher Education and its Bureau of Sec-
ondary Education. Printing costs have been paid by the National Council
of Teachers of English.
Many persons have shared in this study and deserve particular thanks.
The California State Articulation Conference, which includes membership
from the University of California, the state colleges. the junior colleges,
and the secondary schools, endorsed the study. Consultations were held
with the members of the Joint Subcommittee: the officers mentioned
above, together with Glenn Beeman, Stephen Epler, Paul Gordon, Byron
Guyer, William Harless, Edgar Lazier, J. B, Ramsey, Vern W. Robinson,
Howard Snyder, Augusta Treister, and Richard Worthen.
The State Department of Education contributed through the assistance
of James B. Enochs, Frank Lindsay, Eugene Mushlitz, Everett O'Rourke,
Jon Peters, and J. Burton Vasche. High school and state college teachers
of English who also participated wile Haden Adams, Alan Amend,
Harold Armstrong, Ellen Bennett, Milton Black, Tom Blewett, Arthur
J. Broderson, 1Vilma Carlson, James D. Collins, Ruth Dodds, Sabra
Firestein, Eugene Geidt, Antonette Heaney, Charles Higby, Dudley Igo,
Lois Lehman, Florence Liilibridge, Vivian Melton, Hilda Moeller, Arnold
Needham, Philip Nordhus, Jesse W. Pinion, Helen Stinnett, Pat Sullivan,
Jere Willcox, Mary Washingto:,, Allic Mae Ward, and Olive Young.
The members of the Articulation Conference and its Joint Subcom-
mittee believe that student writing must be improved at all academic
levels and that much improvement can be accomplished through studies
such as this together with the sincere cooperation of all members of the
teaching profession.
 SECTION II

PROCEDURES
During the spring of 1957 the Subcommittee on Composition, working
under the direction of the State Articulation Conference, invited every
California public high school teacher of senior classes in English to
participate in a study of competence in student composition.' instruc-
tions to teachers stipulated that expository essays be written in the class-
room without aids in response to any of ten questions carefully chosen to
allow expression of a wide variety of interests. The Subcommittee felt
that expository writing best illustrated the practical problems of composi-
tion. Employing their usual standards, teachers were then to select and
send to the Subcommittee a "best," a "most dearly average," and a
"worst" paper for every one hundred or fraction of one hundred seniors
given thf, assignment.
in response to this request the Subcommittee received 1788 essays
representing 207 schools, or about 39 per cent of the public high schools
in the state. Contributing schools were of all sizes and were widely
distributed geographically. Of course it is impossible to determine how
many papers the high school teachers read in their efforts to select appro-
priate samples, but obviously the essays received by the Subcommittee
represent only a very small portion of tilos,. initially screened at the high
school level.
With very limited funds available, the Subcommittee found it impossible
to examine in detail every one of the 1788 essays submitted and therefore
employed a statistically valid technique of random sampling in deter
mining which papers should receive detailed consideration'
In preparation for tte work o1 the Subcommittee, ten experienced
readers at the University of California, using standard criteria, read and
screened 561 essaysalmost one-third of those submittedand placed
them in groups representing eight levels of competence. The number of
"best," "average," and "worst" papers read was approximately proportion-
ate to the number submitted in each category. It should be noted, how-
ever, that despite instructions to participating te:chers, the Subcommittee
received relatively few "worst" papers. Af.er the papers had been read
and graded from one to eight, the readers selected examples which they
believed typical of each of the eight levels. Eventually a group of thirty-
seven essays was selected to illustrate variations in quality.
'Contlauation schools, adult schools, evening schools, and certain other schools were not
Included in the study.'
'Dr. David D. Blackwell, Professor of Statistic* at the University of California, advised the
Subcommittee on statistical procedures,
8 PROCEDURES

Meanwhile, the Subcommittee screened the remaining 1227 essays in an

effort to find additional papers which might illustrate effectively the top
and bottom levels of competence. One paper which the Subcommittee
considered excellent in many respects was discarded later because consult-
ing high school teachers disagreed about its quality. The worst paper
discovered was likewise discarded because it seemed pointless to con-
sider an otherwise blank page upon which the teacher had written with
simple eloquence, "The kid can't write."
Having prepared an outline of criteria used by the readers for the
evaluation of essays, the Subcommittee made a careful and critical exami-
nation of the thirty-seven essays. After much delihera.ion reflecting no
substantial disagreement about the quality of composition represented but
some uncertainty about which essays best illustrated the various levels of
competence, the Subcommittee selected eight papers for inclusion in a
tentative essay scale. These papers and the evaluation outline were dupli-
cated and sent to seventeen cooperating high school teachers, six college
instructors, and twenty-three students in a college course in advanced
composition with the request that the essays be arranged in order of
quality. Although the resulting arrangements were remarkably uniform,
disagreement :boat the placement of two essays seemed to indicate that
gradations in quality within the eight-point scale were not always clearly
differentiated. Hence, the Subcommittee removed the two, essays to pro-
duce the present scale of six. Forty students in college courses in advanced
composition examined the six-point scale, and arrangements made by thirty-
seven corresponded exactly with the arrangement in the present scale.
Finally, the Subcommittee prepared a sheet of standard symbols used in
the correction of student papers, carefully marked the six essays in the
scale, and appended to each a pertinent critical conunent. A small group
of high school teachers then examined the report of the Subcommittee
and submitted their reactions. In so far as possible, suggestions made by
these teachers have been incorporated into the OBSERVATIONS AND
RECOMMENDATIONS which conclude this publication.
 SECTION III

FINDINGS
As indicated in the discussion of procedures which resulted in the
essay scale, the chief work of the Subcommittee was the intensive scrutiny
of a small number of carefully selected samples of student composition.
Such an endeavor obviously does not invite statistical analysis. The Sub-
committee recognizes that qualitative evaluations differ somewhat from
one teacher to another, and that the size and quality of the class determine
to a large extent the meaning of "best," "average," and "worst." Never-
theless, since the total number of papers placed in appropriate levels of
competence was rather extensive, some tentative but significant con-
clusions can be drawn concerning the writing ability of seniors in
California high schools.
The chart below shows how the 561 essays selected by random sam-
pling and considered by the Subcommittee are distributed over the present
six-point scale.

Teacher Evaluations
"Best" "Average' "Worst"
1 6 0 0
2 35 2 0
Scale 3 134 79 1
4 33 83 14
5 16 53 10
6

Total 228
4 21

238
-- 70

95'
The reader is reminded that although there must be a "worst" raper In ever.? set of compost.
tions submitted, teachers did not Identify "best," "average,' and worst essays In equal
proportions.

Relatively few essays have been placed at the top because the sampling
simply, did not reveal many high quality papers. The first essay in the
final six-point scale does not make exaggerated demands for precision.
It would seem, therefore, that the top level on the scale is a rellistic goal,
especially for high school students in college preparatory classes.
The largest number of essays which teachers labeled "best" will be
found tabulated in the chart at the third level of quality. After a study
of university placement examinations in English and a consultation with
examining officials, the Subcommittee determined that essays at this level
would ordinarily meet university requirements for placement of a student
10 FINDINGS

in a standard freshman composition course, whereas essays at the fourth

level probably would not. The majority of "best" papers would thus meet
minimal requirements for successful university work in composition, but
53 of the 228, or 23 per cent, very likely would prove inadequate.
A further examination of the chart indicates that eighty-one of the
238 papers designated "average" would appear on the composition scale
at the third level or higher. Interpreting these figures in terms of standards
in university placement examinations, the Subcommittee concludes that 34
per cent of the essays in the "average" group would pass, and 66 per
cent would fail. The median paper in this group clearly belongs at the
fourth level. It seems reasonable to extend this conclusion, and in view Of
the thousands of essays initially screened by the high school teachers
and the valid sampling made by the Subcommittee, to state that given
an hour of class time, the average student in senior classes in composition
in the high schools of California is capable of writing similar in overall
quality to the fourth essay in the scale. Such a student, it should be
emphasized, might very well be required to do remedial work in English
if he continues his education at the university level.
The "worst" papers tabulated on the chart, of course, arc generally very
poor. One school's "worst" paper, however, compares favorably with the
median of the "best" papers, and fourteen other essays rank with the median
of "averve" papers. But seventy of the ninety-five samples examined (74
per cent) are placed at the sixth level, the very bottom of the scale. The
median of "worst" papers falls at the sixth level.
In view of the foregoing analysis, the Subcommittee wishes to point out
two facts which seem to be well documented by this study. First, although
some of the "best" writing of seniors in California high schools is of Food
quality, most of it is definitely mediocre in terms of the criteria established
by the Subcommittee. Second, "average" writing, taken as a whole, does
not represent satisfactory achievement for seniors in high school composi-
tion, when "satisfactory" is thought of in relation to probable success in
college writing courses.
 SECTION IV

USE OF THE ESSAY SCALE

The followingessay scale consists of an outline of criteria for the evalua-
tion of compositions, a list of symbols used in the scale, essays representing
six levels of quality, and pertinent critical comments.
The evaluation outline, which is the basis upon which the essays in the
scale were judged, is necessarily short and obviously very peneral. It is
intended simply as a guide, a reminder of the qualities which distinguish
snierior composition. In preparing such a guide the Subcommittee found
it impossible to define or to give examples of all terms employed, for to do
so would entail the writing of a complete textbook on composition. Thus
the teacher who attempts to use the outline in the evaluation of sudcnt
papers must still decide, for example, whether ideas under consideration are
relevant and well developed and whether vocabulary is accurate; for clearly
enough, no definite answers to these questions can be given. The Subcormi
mittee suggests. however, that teachers who keep the outline in mind as they
study the scaled essays and critical comments will find some assistance with
these problems.
The symbols used in the. scale are generally markings familiar to every
trained teacher of English. They have been identified on page 14, and they
may be found fully discussed in standard handbooks of composition.
The six essays in the scale are reproduced word for word and error for
error, just as the students wrote them, and arranged in order of quality from
best to worst. The Subcommittee, however, has made certain additions with-
in the body of each selection: the sentences have been numbered to facili-
tate the observation of references made in the critical comments that follow,
and italics and brackets have been added to direct attention to certain
word groups commented on in the marginalia. (No student writer used
either brackets or italics in his essay.) Proofreader's markings in the margins
refer to errors near the margins in which the notations appear. Other
marginal entries are self-explanatory. The Subcommittee has attempted to
mark the essays closely without being puristic, It should be noted, however,
that markings are for the teacher's information; they would not necessarily
be the same on essays which are to be returned to students. A few minor
errors have been intentionally overlooked.
The critical comment accompanying each May is an attempt to employ
the general criteria of the evaluation outline an judging the quality of
composition repreiented. It does not attempt to treat every item in the
outline, for it seems pointless to discuss effective sentence structure, for
example, in connection with a paper which illustrates a fundamental ignor-
ance of the English language. Nevertheless, each critical comment seeks to
12 USE OF THE ESSAY SCALE

illuminate the characteristic excellence and inadequacy of the paper under

consideration, and in appropriate context, to offer some specific examples.
Following each critical comment is a summary of qualities which may be
expected in other essays at the same level.
The application of the essay scale, of course, will require judgment and
some knowledge of composition. It is not a magic formula for the instructor
who lacks adequate background in English, nor will it prove useful in the
hands of a very weak student. The entire study was undertaken primarily
for teachers, not for students. Nevertheless, adequate discussion of the scale
and carefully guided instruction in its use should prepare the more con-
scientious high school seniors to employ it profitably in the evaluation of
their own compositions.
The majority of teachers, however, will find the scale useful as a basis
for departmental discussions of composition standards and grading policies,
and the individual teacher may use it to determine areas of instruction
requiring emphasis and to guide him in the marking of student papers. If
the essays in the scale arc used as a guide in grading, the teacher should
remember that a good essay need not be without errors. Essay I in the
scale has more errors noted than either Essay II or III; however, the more
extensive development of the thought in Essay I and the manner in which it
meets the standards of the evaluation outline result in a paper of better
overall quality than either Essay ll or NI. Obviously sonic errors detract
more from effectiveness than do others: for example, fragments, comma
splices, faulty agreement of subject and verb, faulty pronoun reference,
absence of proper transitions, and confused sentence structure. But the
presence of a very few of these errors should not lead the teacher to regard
an essay as a failure if the writer has expressed himself clearly and logically
and has adequately developed a central idea.
For the teacher's use in evaluating an essay on a five-point grading system,
the Subcommittee suggests that Essay I in the scale might very well be
considered an A, Essay II a 13, Essay III a high C, Essay IV a low C, Essay
V a D, and Essay VI definitely an F paper. In his evaluation of essays the
teacher will find it impossible to avoid subjective judgments, but despite
this problem, he should remember always that he is grading composition; he
is not grading the student's family background, interests, or personality.
Every student writer, the Subcommittee believes, should be encouraged
by appropriate marks and comments, but a student who does not write well
should not be told that his accomplishnient, is creditable when it does not
compare favorably with the acceptable essays in the scale.
 SECTION V

THE EVALUATION OF ESSAYS

I. Content: Is the conception clear, accurate, and complete?
A. Does the student discuss the subject intelligently?
1. Does he seem to have an adequate knowledge of his subject?
2. Does he avoid errors in logic?
B. Does the essay offer evidence in support of generalization?

IL Organization; Is the method of presentation clear, effective, and inter-

esting?
A. Is it possible to state clearly the central idea of the essay?
B. Is the central idea of the paper as a whole sufficiently developed
through the use of details and examples?
C, Are the individual paragraphs sufficiently developed?
D. Are all the ideas of the essay relevant?
E. Are the ideas developed in logical order?
1. Are till paragraphs placed in natural and logical sequence within
the whole?
2. Are the sentences placed in natural and logical sequence within
the paragraphs?
F. Are the transitions adequate?
G. Are ideas given the emphasis required by their impec..tnre?
H. Is the point of view consistent and appropriate?

III. Style and Mechanics: Does the essay observe standards of style and
mechanics generally accepted by educated writers?
A. Are the sentences clear, idiomatic, and grammatically correct?
(For c.ample, are they reasonably free of fragments, run-on sen-
tences, comma splices, faulty parallel structure, mixed constructions,
dangling modifiers, and errors of agreement, case, and verb forms?)
B. Is the sentence structure effective?
1. Is there approptiate variety in sentence structure?
2. Are uses of subordination and coordination appropriate?
C. Is conventional punctuation followed?
.1110
D. Is the spelling generally correct?
E. Is the vocabulary accurate, judicious, and sufficiently varied?
 SECTION VI

SYMBOLS USED IN MARKING

THE ESSAYS
agr agreement p punctuation
cap capitals red redundant
cs comma splice ref reference
d diction rep repetitious
fc faulty comparison sp spelling
hag fragment str sentence structure
gr grammar t tense
mm misplaced modifier trans transition (needed)
0 remove punctuation x obvious error
(usually comma)
1/ str parallelism
p1 plural
A insert word
pv point of view
%we make one word
pred predication
 SECTION VII

THE ESSAY SCALE

ESSAY 1

CAN IT!

"Swinus Americanus" is a nameEafte@applied to those 1444.(4 dao

'W44
"e".44,0444 ' ignorant campers and travelers who find it easier to leave
r
their refuse for someone else to pick up rather than dispose

of it properly themselves. (2) A lack of outdoor manners is

4(2) one of the primary reasons why people unconsciously de-

stroy the natural beauty of our great out-of-doors. (3) The

sum of money spent each year by local, state, and federal

agencies to keep America clean is almost unimaginable.

(4) In Yellowstone Park, one of our largest tourist attrac

tions,Et costs the U. S. governmengover two million dol.

Lars a year to keep the roads and campgrounds free from

trash and refuse.

(5) After the turn of the century, many prominent organ-

izations, such as the Izaak Walton legue, realized the need

404,
of educating the element which disregarded all ethics of good
 16 THE ESSAY SCALE
e079101144,
camping. (6) Apparently, little progress was made, and the

situation grew worse and worse. (7) In 19599 most of our,

highways and campgrounds looked like one huge trash dunip.

akflervt, (8) Reform was long overdue. (9) Up sprang a number of

141404"
campaigns which stressed the importance of good outdoor.

manners. (10) The Keep America Beautiful Campaign was

organized, and "litterbug" became a household word. (11)

Municipal AM state governmentsgoined the parad3by enact-

ing laws which imposed heavy fines for careless motorists

who littered highways and byways. (12) Magazines and

newspapers carried articlesA and pictures of this shameful ;4444'

aspect of American life. (13) Little by little, the people

grew aware of their responsibility of preserving wtat be-

(,$) a,.4(i5)
longed to them, (14) "Preserving" is an accurate wordEf ;i4.
444one reatizeg that campgrounds 4444
strewn with garbage ant, dimsnoszaal

litter are excellent breeding places for disease-bearing insects.

(15) A piece of broken glass may magnify the sun's rays

just enough to kh'dle a fire which may envelop thousands

and thousands of acres of valuable watershed.

(16) Cooperation with this clean-up campaign has been

overwhelming. (17) The manufactures of canned and bottled

 THE ESSAY SCALE 17

beverages are experimenting with disposable paper or card-

board containers. (18) Gas stations have volunteered to

a(
r
dispose of refuse-filled paper sash which motorists carry

on their outings and replace this with a new sack (19) In

many parks, refuse cans bear the insignia of an imaginary

W.: ,
kangaroo called Parky. (70)EParky says-3 is another fa-
44410/044
miliar antilitterbug slogan. (21) Gradually, through posters,

pamphlets, articles, signboards, and emphatic speeches, Amer-

icans have learned a valuable lesson in good manners. (22)

The fight, however, must continue. (23) Not until our

roadsides, campgrounds, and parks appear as they did before

41.1-42:4 the advent of t'swinus Americanua will the fight be won.

"41444Z
(24) By adhering to good outdoor manners/ we will -help eenotti"

to win this fight.

ESSAY ICRITICAL COMMENT

Though far from perfect, this essay is of sufficiently high caliber to
illustrate the top of the scale. Its principal merits are its brisk, lively, well-
cadenced style and its excellent use of concrete illustrative language. For
example, in sentences 4 and 5 a less-accomplished writer would have stopped
at the comparatively vague "many prominent organizations" without adding
the reference to the Izaak Walton League. (I) The essay is clear in con-
ception and execution. (II) The organization of ideas is logical and coherent,
proceeding from a general introductory statement of the importance of
the problem to an analysis of steps taken and to be taken to improve the
situation. Generally, the sequence of statemeneis clear and natural, al-
though there are some lapses: sentences 14 and IS, for example, are not
perfectly integrated into the paragraph. The whole paper has unity and
18 THE ESSAY SCALE

completeness. It presents the central idea that although many natural beauty
spots are being clestroyed by careless campers, a concentrated campaign
is making definite progress toward educating the public in outdoor manners.
This idea is developed through such examples as the Izaak Walton League,
The Keep America Beautiful Campaign, and cooperation of the gas stations.
The paper is well rpunded off by the last three sentences, which are conclu-
sive without being repetitious. (Itt) Sentence structure is not always
accurate (the first sentence confuses idioms of comparison; the syntax of
sentence 14 is meaningless), but it is usually correct and effective: sentences
S to t3 show a good and meaningful variety of constructions rhetorically
effective. The only grammatical error of any seriousness is the agreement
error of this in sentence 18.

* * *'
Essays in the first level of the scale are usually characterized by lively
intelligence: the writer's thought flows easily from one idea to another; it
grasps and expresses relationships among ideas and between abstract ideas
and concrete realities. Sentence structure is usually both fluent and com-
latex, vocabulary is extensive, and spelling is good. Such essays characteris-
tically have excellent content, arc frequently rather long, and have fully
developed paragraphs. These qualities seem natural to a' good mind. A young
person s mind, however, may be somewhat undisciplined; thus the usual
faults of essays in this range are in vocabulary, which, being ambitious, is
sometimes experimental, and in organization and sentence structure, which
may occasionally become a trifle confused, The quality of punctuation
seems to vary considerably among the best papers.

ESSAY II

JUVENILE DELINQUENCY

(1) What are the real causes of juvenile delinquency?

(2) Who is to blame for the misdemeanors of today's teen-

agers? (3) A few weeks ago, as one of a number of students

representing the various high schools in Sonoma County, I

was brought face to face with this problem of, juvenile

 THE ESSAY SCALE 19

delinquency. (4) At the invitation of the County Probation

Department, we attended a session of Juvenile Court and

visited the County Jail and Juvenile Hall. (5) We had all

been aware of the problem of criminal activities among

minors, but after the tour, and especially after lengthy dis-

cussions with the supervisor of Juvenile Hall and with Mr.

Becklund, County Probation Officer, we began to realize

the full scope and gravity of the situation.

(6) Why, we asked, is juvenile delinquency such a prob-

lem?' (7) Who is to blame? (8) "Parents," was the answer

every time (9) The teenagers we saw in Juvenile Court and

in Juvenile Hall were there for many reasons, to be sore.

sue d (10) But all these stemmed from the same sourceparents.

.41/4 (11.) With some, it was lack of proper parental supervision;

with some, a lack of one or both parents; and with others,

neglect, disinterest, or depravity on the part of the parents.

d (12) There were, as in every cap se, a few exceptions to this

generalization. (13) What about those/ offenders whose

,44t veexcuse was rebellion against conformity, against the stand-

.

ardized social laws in general we asked? (14) The answer? hteo+wr ?F

(IS) Couldn't this feeling of revolt be curbed, overcome by i`e440.104Z

the offender's parents?

 20 THE-ESSAY SCALE

(16) The prevention of juvenile delinquency is not an

easy task to undertake. (17) We saw how much the city, (10 71646

county, state, and even nationEvere doing to helaunfor-

eiadve- tunate minors overcome their problems and lead new, useful

1? lives. (18) But the boarding homes, the camps, the schools

for correctiov are Fot helping] to prevent delinquency.

(19) The campaign must begin in the home. (20) The full
414404444
signincance of the parental role must be realized.
1411 444144

ESSAY IICRITICAL COMMENT

This is a moderately good essay with a clear thesisthat parents are to
blame for juvenile delinquencyand an ostensibly good source of Informa-
tion; its principal fault is underdevelopment. (1) Though the discussion
is intelligent, it lacks suflicient evidence to be convincing. (11) The organ-
ization of the essay is good in outline: there is a natural sequence of
paragraphs setting up first, the problem and the authority for its answer;
second, the answer itself; and third, a general proposal for solving the
problem. But in detail the or?anization is weak: the final clause of the first
paragraph ("we began to realize the full scope and gravity of the situation")
is completely out of place in this strong rhetorical position, since the idea it
contains is never developed in the essay. Sentence 11 should be further
supported by details if it is to be really meaningful. In sentence 17 what
"we saw" has never been revealed to the reader. The last sentence of the
essay is very weak and points to the basic shortcoming of the essay: lack
of full development. We want to know exactly what the parents can and
should do and exactly how their actions can help solve the problem of
delinquency. The whole essay would be improved by the use of concrete
illustration. (Ill) The sentence structure, on the whole, is good (sentence
5, for example, shows the ability to handle a long, complex structure with
fluency), but sentences 10 to IS are something of a muddle. Imprecise
pronoun reference leads to the confusing predication of sentence 10 (Can
reasonsif these means reasons"stern from parents"?) Otherwise most
matters of style and mechanics are well handled there ate no errors at all
in spelling and no serious errors of punctuativh.

***
 Till?. ESSAY SCALE 21

What has been said of essays in the first level applies generally to those .

in the second except in degree. The same flow of thought is to be expected,

but it flows less easily. The vocabulary is good bUt less extensive, Organ-
ization and mechanics arc usually c:onipetently handled. Overall style is
mature but with less polish end imagination than in a first-level essay.
It is not unusual in a seen:A-level paper to find in one particular area
serious lapses which lower the general quality; for example, it may have
excellent content and style but rather poor punctuation.

ESSAY 111

MY FAVORITE SUBJECT

(1) In my four years at high school almost all of my

subjects have interested me. (2) But the subject I like the

most and which interests me the most is history,

(3) Before I was a junior I didn't like history at all. (4)

I hoped never to have anything to do with it (5) But when

I became a junior I had to take United States History as a

requirement for graduation. (6) I groaned at the thought of

history.

iia04;04, (7) The first few weeks of the course were miserable be

(4 cause I kept telling myself that I didn't like history. (8)

My dislike for the course showed in my first quarter's grade.

(9) But as the term progressed 'frog veryinterested in 4.44441.4

the subject. (f0) The main reason for my growing to like

 22 THF. ESSAY SCALE

the course was my teacher. (U) She had a %vay of getting

points across as well as making the course interesting.

(12) I liked the teacher so much and I became so inter-

ested in history that when I was a low senior I decided to

take a course in California History. (II) The same teacher

4444644"!"" taught this course, (14) This course, since it dealt with
the discovery and deve/opment of our state, proved to be

even more interesting than the one in United States History.

(1$) Now as a high senior I am furthering my study of

history by taking Modern History. (16) I only regret that

I didn't take this course for a full year instead of just6j440440-44441

half a year

(17) When I go to college this fall I hope to continuek1assu44441

in the field of history because there is still so much to learn.

(l8) The further study of history will lead me to one day

becoming a history teacher.

ESSAY IIICRITICAL COMMENT

There is nothing very good about this paper; on the other hand, there is
nothing very bad about it It is adequate and nothing more (I) The idea of
the essay is clear; "I like history." I3ut it is far from complete: one .wants
to know what it is in the study itself that attracts the writer, but one never
finds out (II) Th organization is mediocre. The intrOdug311tY PP°8t-lPhis-
too short and too bare; it might well suggest the-ideas of sentences 3, 10, and
18. The sequence of ideas is rather mechanically chronological, though logical
And without irrelevancies. But the statements are not sufficiently dcvelopea;
 THE F'SSAY SCALE 23

just one well-chosen illustration would probably have. gone far to fill in
some of the gaps of thought and to breathe some life into this torpid and
unimaginative paper. The concluding paragraph should be better integrated
with the rest of the essay. (III) The paper is free of grammatical and
mechanical errors, though the sentenceslike the Ideastend to be some-
what over simple and structurally monotonous. In the second paragraph, for
example, every clause uses the /-plus-verb construction: I was, l didn't like,
I hoped, I became, I bad, and I groaned.

***
The most common general characteristic of essays in the third level steins
to be simplicity of both thought and expression. The subject is handled
with competence but without distinction; the paragraphs are often short and
lack full development; there is a tendency to write In generalizations with-
out tying them down to yarticulars. The organization is usually logical
but mechanical, and transitions are sometimes a problem. Sentence structure
and vocabulary arc both usually quite simple, reflecting the quality of the
content. The style is wooden.
As a consequence of this general simplicity, few problems of punctuation,
spelling, and sentence structure arise; hence ft..v mistakes are, made in these
areas.

Sometimes an essay will be assigned to the third level by -a balancing of

good qualities and bad -. hen, for example, the organization is very poor,
but everything else as good,

ESSAY 1 V

RURAL LIFE

(I) Life on a farm is full of excitment, hard work, and

enjoyment. (2) It takes long hours and hard work to keep a

farm in good condition. (3) One has to be a horse doctor

Weather bureau, crop expert, and many things all a( once",

to be able to handle all the problems that come up on the

 24 THE ESSAY SCALE

farm. (4) One also has to be able to take disappointments, dfi

At discouragement, and dispair.

(S) An average day on a dairy farm usually goes like

4441/ this: up at 4 or 5 A.M. in the morningt a good tar& break-

41/2
and to work. (6) The cattle are brought In from
//A
pasture, milked, and put out again; all the equpment has to

be washed and put away, and the milk stored In a dean,

cool place until it is picked up. (7) The milk is then taken

ite.eiducts1 to a milk company to be made into butter, cheese,earbawros

and so oe
4y. (7) of
on. (8) Then comes the plowing or harvesting, depending
and
on what time of year it is. (9) This goes on till lunch

continued after until it's time for milking again. (10) After

milking LS done, it is supper time. (II) When supper is

over social life begins. (12) Life in the evening Is pretty 4°4°4°

4/i.:doste4nuch the same as anywhereAor±_there is a Ion er

to get to town or where ever there is to go. (11) There is ' At)
/,$)
I 1 wa ys something to do on a farm. (14) Sometithes in wait- (49
A..",
ing for a calf or colt to be born or maybe.a prize bull has

pneumonia and the /to has been delayed. (IS) Idle time
... ('4)
is rarely found on a farm.

44
'rt..s444
? >(16) There are many advantages. (17) Some are in see.
 THE ESSAY SCALE 2$

)Ins animals grow and turn into prize stock and seeing fields

l'
44t
green and healthy,

18) Disadvanone never knows if the ensuing

year will bring success or failure.

ESSAY [V CRITICAL COMMENT

This essay is somewhat less than adequate, but not without merit. (1)
The writer's knowledge of the subject is not in doubt, but not enough of
that knowledge is demonstrated. (II) The essay is very unbalanced; the last
two "paragraphs" especially are underdeveloped. The second paragraph is
better because it includes more details; but it suffers from the Illogical se-
quence of ideas in its last four sentences. The opening sentence of the same
paragraph is awkward because of the seemingly gratuitous introduction of
dairy as a qualifier: surely this restriction should be made in the introduc-
tion or brought in as an example, Finally, the two subjects of the second
paragrapha typical day on a farm and the general busyness of farm life
are not well integrated. (111) There are numerous errors of style and
mechanics: the faulty parallelism of sentences 3, 5, and 14; the many errors
in spelling; the sloppy structure of sentences 12 and 14. Some sentences,
however, are well put together (sentence 6, for example), the whole press
entation generally is commendably concrete, and the colloquial style
provides authenticity and liveliness appropriate to the subject.

***
Essays in the fourth level tend to show little competence with mechanics;
errors of spelling and punctuation appear frequently as well as serious
lapses of grammar and sentenco structure. These papers are sometimes
over simple, and very typically they show a lack of sustaining power: they
begin well with fully developed ideas and accurate sentences, but when
the thought begins to fail, the paragraphs become shorter, and the organiza-
tion and the sentence structure deteriorate. Jerkiness in the thought se-
quence and a stilted style are common. Such papers not infrequently have
flashes of excellence, amidst generally poor writing._
 26 THE ESSAY SCALE

ESSAY V

JUVENILE DELINQUENCY

(I) One of the chief causes for juvenile delinquency is

to,44not having anything to ea. (2) If th y had a lot of good 44.614e/ce

places to go & good things to doh then I don't think there

would be as much4as there is now. (3) In the big cities,

the streets are full of big stores and factosies, but if they, .i..

had .pol= of recreation halls,Uhtn that would be one

thing the teenagers could do' .° People should also en- 14,1844444/

courage the teenagers to take part in sports and other ac-

tivitiessome
. .
place they world feel needed. (5) When

there is only one movie or shJw in town and no recreation ...e

.........
hall, then there isElothing3to do. (6) Teenagers like to keep

doing different things, (7) If they heep doing the same thing \

all the time, then they soon grow tired of it and start

looking for something else to do. (8) They don't

whether it's bad or not all they care about is doing some
care fle4,
thing (9) Teenagers are'very restless people.

(10) Sometimes, in some cases, the, pareas are at faulave Rh"

(II) They don't teach their children right from wrong.

 THE ESSAY SCALE 27

(1?) They should start when the child is very young and

teach then then they wouldn't want to do anything wrong. All

(13) Parents should also bring their children up in church.

(14) It has been proven that children that have beenraiscd

? in church.Eaccompanied by their parents, grow up with a

4'4.4 feeling of security andAthey are very good teenagers. (15)

x Those kind of teenagers do have something to dothey

have all kinds of church activities to participate in,

(16) I think that if parents was their children to be alv

good, then they should take them, & go themselves, to church. .3t

ESSAY VCRITICAL COMMENT

This is a poor essay, inadequate in alnlost every,respect. (1) It is not
devoid of content, but it is full of *unsuispZ5fRilleneraliZitlofik,'At Wan
',Ile of which (sentence 14) is manifestly not true The idea with which the
student begins the essay --that teenagers do not have enough to dois
abandoned at the end of the first paragraph and vaguely reintroduced at
the end of the second paragraph, only to be abandoned once more at the
end of the paper. (11) There is little unity to the essay and no overall or-
ganization; it reads as though the writer were thinking aloud. He wanders
aimlessly from a consideration of recreation facilities through an indictment
of parents to a final recommendation that everyone go to church. The last
paragraph has the tone of a summary conclusion, but in fact it summarizes
only the last half of the second paragraph. Very unbalanced, the essay gives
no indication of the relative importance of the ideas suggested: more space
is devoted to ti-,; first idea than to the others, but the rhetorical emphasis
it on the last idea. (111) There are a great many gross errors of grammar
and sentence structure: the agreement errors of sentences 12 and 16, for
example, the faulty apposition of sentence 4, and the pronoun reference
errors of sentences 2. 3, and 12. The sentence structure in general is over-
simple and repetitious; particularly noticeable is the, repeated then-clause
construction.
***
 28 THE ESSAY SCALE

Essays in this level typically have numerous gross errors of sentence

structure and punctuation. Vocabulary is weak and inaccurate; diction is
usually poor. Confusion and formiesness arc most characteristic of the
poorer essays: sense of structure is lacking; thought is muddled and dis-
organized. Hence, illogical constructions, meaningless statements, garbled
syntax, and fragmentary sentences are common.

ESS4Y V,

CHIEF CAUSES OF
JUVENILE DELINQUENCY

14
Atv/s1,0 (1) The causes foe the juvenile delinquence are notAthe .4.414,414/W

parents or the public & official think. (2) It is the kids of

Var Cie
71 and public who causes this.

(3) There isn't enough for a kid to grow up with, nothing

to do. (4) There are a lot of school activity for one to get
11.14
into. (5) But the ones who are in them are not the one who trier
are the delinquence: (6) Most of the juvenile delinquence
arfril are the boys or girls who are not very popular in school

and are not in school activity. (7) They may attend school

/40 f2ne, but they won't sit in the cheating section or yell to
4/0 support there,school team. (8) They sit off to the side and

yet they want to be notice. (9) They won't go out for

ft'
c'llows,..4 sport to get attention because they trttbw they won't be
good enough. (10) They heads are t2i E..,t12,n the other kids.
 THE ESSAY SCALE 29

(i 1) For attention they go out and paint the town red. (12)
/6ott,
whir e/ By steeling hub cab off cars or get into gang fights. (13) fr2)0(41
This way they can go back to school and tell all about 11,w

they destroy property.

(14) l live in a small town and we are not bother very pro
444. 47 much with this problem. (15) You most! n` e thi in y....t_tr r//4/41,40
440.% big cities tike New York or Los Angeles.

(16) Maybe in asince1 am wrongbbout there is nothing 44

C.0/10 to dogmaybe there is to much to do. (17) In a big city you

'7/4i/4 can fine a lot of thing to do.

(18) Also in comparing a small to%:....tas %Kith a big 9,5 Alp

you will fine that all the kids in small tom wn will know each /tle
other or just about every body in the hole town. (19) But
41/t/42P
in a big city how many kids will you know. (20) Just the
/441° (29/440
ones in your little group. (21) There are to many kids

//' around to get to know them all.jand you don't have time

to because you are going to the show with someone or you

have to stay home and take care of your little sister.

(22) I think the ways to cut down on this is to put up .40/A

? recreation centers and have the kid tales part in sports and

j/t /other
°4
currigular activities.
 30 THE ESSAY SCALE

dAid (23) Also if we can regress back to the years when our/23401

.------
parent were kids. (24) we would fine that there parents la/r/e/
*
our grandparentsidid not take the responsiblity Cofjthere 14,4/410

at kids. (25) The kid themselves were respnmcilito for there

own action.
41.0

(26) That mean the kid could be sent to jail for what
at t1a have doneUnd not the parentg 40-tele4tA,
(27) So let the teenager have his own responsiblity and 09040

there will be less juvenile deliqucncy.

470

ESSAY VICRITICAL COMMENT

This essay represents the boom of the scale (but is not necessarily the
worst submitted). Reference to the evaluation outline will readily show
that not a single question there can be answered affirmatively of thi's paper.
The writer has almost no command of grammar, sentence structure, vocal)
Wary, and paragraph development. The ideas are random and confused;
there is virtually no organization.

Papers in the lowest level show a fundamental inability to manipulate

meaningfully the structures and vocabulary of the language and show an
equally fundamental ignorance of the conventions of standard English.
 SECTION VIII

OBSERVATIONS
AND
RECOMMENDATIONS
It has already been observed that "average" high school writing does
not represent satisfactory achievement as measured by college entrance
examinations. The question naturally. arises then of what can be done to
improve writing performance. The most important answer, the Subcommit-
tee believes (and probably most teachers and administrators would agree),
lies in improving the classroom situation. No teacher, however accomplished,
can hope/or any great success when he must reach as many as two hundred
students in a semester; he simply does not hi.ve enough time. Therefore,
whenever possible, sn attempt should be made to limit the teaching load.
The Subcommittee feels that one hundred students is probably a maximum
for effective teaching. It is also desirable, whenever possible, that students
be sectioned according to ability, for a wide range of native capabilities in
one classroom can only compound the instructor's difficulties. Finally, the
teacher himself should, self-evidently, have a thorough grasp of his own
subject matter.
These recommendations are obvious and concern administrative problems
all too familiar to those who have continually to face them; not infrequently
the solution to such problems lies outside the strictly academe area. At
the pedagogical level itself, the followin suggestions might well be worth
the teachers consideration.
1. The maintenance of conservative (but not excessively rigid) standards
of style seems very desirable for both theoretical and practical reasons.
A reasonable command of basic linguistic resources is essential for any
effective communication: the student should be familiar with the structural
elements of English and know how to manipulate them. He needs, too, a
familiarity with standards of style expected in formal prose. As a matter of
discipline, he should not be encouraged to depart from such standards. Ile
will, moreover, acquire a greater feeling of security and confidence if he
has clear and specific goals to work towards. It is true, of course, that many
aspects of English usage are in dispute, but these seldom involve matters of
real significance; the student can take them in stride if he has learned what
is is mportant and essential and what is not.
2. Since there is probal.31y n definite relation between accurate thinking
and clear writing, the teacher should, the Stbcommitteeleels, insist on care-
ful thought as a preliminary to composition. The student should be en-
32 OBSERVATIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS

couraged to think his topic out thoroughly, weighing possible arguments

and opinions, deciding on their relative importance, and determining the
logical sequence of their presentation. These matters should be worked out
before he begins the actual writing of his paper; preliminary class discus-
sion of a topic is usually very useful in helping the student organize his
Ideas coherently.
To exprest his ideas, to communicate them clearly, the student should
be encouraged ro use as specific and concrete language as possible, avoiding
diction which is vague, empty, or needlessly abstract. should always be
aware of the basic predication of each sentence he writes.
3. The Subcommittee believes. -and has found much agreement among
teachersthat one step toward solving the problem of too large composition
classes is that of assigning shorter papers. Nearly all the principles of good
composition can be learned from the writing of paragraphs or short 150
to 200-word essays, which may also allow the teacher time to correct them
more thoroughly and more usefully for the student than do long papers.
The student will also learn much from revising his own papers in light of
his teacher's corrections and suggestions. As he improves and his papers
require less time to correct, longer essays can be assigned.
4. Finally, the Subcommittee is convinced that die responsibility for
improving student competence in writing should be shared by teachers in
all fields; iti need not be the exclusive province of English teachers. Clear
and accurate communication is, after all, essential in all areas of study, and
its importance and usefuness extend far beyond the school. Therefore, all
who are concerned with the young persons development should help and
encourage him to achieve such goals. In every class, students should be
asked to, organize their writing, to spell correctly, 2nd to avoid gross illit-
eracies, just as in English class students should be expected to avoid, for
instance, gross misstatements of historical or scientific facts. Cooperative
effort by all secondary teachers will increase he knowledge and skills of all
secondary students.