Study Questions Week 3

1. Kane describes parents as having more concern about sons’ gender nonconformity than
daughters’ due to the “devaluing of traditionally feminine pursuits and qualities” (Kane,
2006, p. 157). Daughters have more freedom when it comes to exploring gendered
activities because traditionally “boyish” activities and toys have become more neutral and
acceptable for girls. On the other hand, there is more concern regarding sons’ gender
nonconformity since partaking in girly activities portrays them as more feminine, weak,
and submissive. The gender hierarchy is still clearly prominent in the relations between
parent and child since masculinity, whether in boys or girls, is encouraged while
femininity is discouraged heavily for boys and somhat for girls.
2. Most parents, including those who were hesitant to allow their child to play with
traditionally feminine toys, were supportive of their sons playing with toys that
encouraged developing domestic skills, nurturing qualities, and empathy. They believe
that these toys will help their sons become adults capable of doing household chores,
taking care of themselves, and raising children (Kane, 2006, p. 159). However, many
parents discouraged their sons from playing with barbie dolls, dressing up in feminine
clothing, painting their nails, or dancing. These are seen as non-essential crossovers into
girly activities that parents are uncomfortable with, possibly due to homophobia, even if
their son expresses a deep interest (Kane, 2006, p. 160-161).
3. When explaining their sons’ nonconformity in the area of domestic skills, mothers tend to
be more certain in their support of this activity than fathers. On the other hand, fathers are
more likely to be hesitant, less enthusiastic, and re-introduce masculine toys back into
play (Kane, 2006, p. 159). So, while most parents are supportive of this type of nurturing
play, fathers seem to be less confident that it is necessary or even beneficial.
4. While gay and lesbian parents did not make connections between their sons’
nonconformity and the possibility of homosexuality, 7 out of the 27 heterosexual parents
did make this connection. Furthermore, these parents were either concerned that their
son’s interest revealed his future sexuality or that playing with girly toys could actually
make him a homosexual (Kane, 2006, p. 163).
5. Many heterosexual fathers felt they had a responsibility to craft their sons’ masculinity
and that any femininity in their sons was a reflection of bad parenting on their part. One
father even mentioned that if their son was gay, he would feel like he failed, since he
believes homosexuality is a feminine trait (Kane, 2006, p. 163). Overall, these
heterosexual fathers felt that they owed it to their sons to make them masculine based on
their own morals. Gay fathers felt they were held accountable by others and had to have a
masculine son in order for society to accept them. While this is similar to the feelings of
heterosexual parents, gay parents focused more on societal treatment of their son rather
than a personal disappointment (Kane, 2006, p. 165-166).
6. Heterosexual and lesbian mothers both discouraged gender nonconformity in their sons
mostly because of their fear of society treating them poorly (Kane, 2006, p. 167-168).
These mothers seem to be more comfortable with their sons wanting to express
traditionally feminine behavior, but they are afraid of how others are going to treat their
sons. Heterosexual mothers that discouraged gender nonconformity in their sons also felt
accountable to their sons’ peers, saying, “I would worry if he had too many feminine
characteristics, that would worry me. I just want him to be a boy and play with the boys,
not to like girl things. If he did that, the boys would think he’s weird, and then he’d be
 lonely” (Kane, 168). Lesbian mothers felt accountable by society, because being a lesbian
mother is already under scrutiny. Lesbian mother of two sons noted that she feels “under
more of a microscope” and that her sons “don’t have as much fluidity” because she has
“loaded the dice . . . in terms of prejudice they will face because of who their parents
are.” Similar sentiments are evident in the following quote from another interviee: “I feel
held up to the world to make sure that his masculinity is in check or something. . .. It’s a
big rap against lesbian parents, how can you raise sons without a masculine role model in
the house, and that’s something I always feel up against” (Kane, 169)
7. Kane’s findings help to challenge biological explanations of gendered behavior because
she found that several parents admitted to actively participating in crafting “an
appropriate gender performance with and for their preschool aged sons.” In
understanding Kane’s study, it’s apparent that there’s a social aspect to gendered
behavior that parents recognize (Kane, 172).  
8. Hegemonic masculinity is understood as expressing “aggression, limited emotionality,
and heterosexuality.” Kane’s study helps us to understand this concept because most of
the parents intervied, to a certain degree, enforce hegemonic ideals seen in the intervis
(Kane, 153). Even for parents who believe their son should be able to be feminine, they
still enforced these ideals so society would treat their them normally.  
9. Ludo’s gender-nonconformity expression is seen in the way he sports his hair (long), how
he dresses (skirts, dresses, earrings), and wears makeup (lipstick at the party). I think
some of the parents intervied by Kane would be upset by Ludo’s behavior if he were their
son since it doesn’t align with any of the hegemonic ideals they were promoting in their
actual sons.  
10. Some consequences of Ludo’s behavior for himself is being teased by his family/peers
and getting a petition for him to be expelled from school for standing in as Snow White
in a play. His dad also suffers from his behavior, as he is fired from his job because his
boss is uncomfortable with Ludo’s gender expression and Ludo put on one of the dresses
of the boss’s deceased daughter. The family was also forced to move from their
neighborhood since the father’s n job was far away and they were being harrassed in their
home.  
11. The father and mother both embrace the typical gender roles that are congruent with their
sex. Pierre is masculine and wants Ludo to act masculine, even at the expense of Ludo
being something he doesn’t identify with. Hanna simply wants Ludo to cause no trouble
and has a higher tolerance than her husband for Ludo’s gender-nonconformity, but steps
in when it disrupts her life or her family’s. The consequences of the parents reactions
result in Ludo’s uncertainty and pain, which could have been a factor in his attempted
suicide. Pam and Ben, to me, represent Ludo’s fantasy world he longs for: a world where
colorful, bright beings are accepted and are the norm. 
12. The following reactions from the parents are observed during the party where Pierre is
introducing his family to the rest of the neighborhood. The father’s initial reaction to
Ludo’s gender-nonconformity was shock/ disbelief after mistaking Ludo for his daughter
Zoe. The mother was also confused when Ludo came out in a dress and makeup during
the party. Both parents pass it off as “nothing serious,” the father claiming Ludo is a
jokester, and the mother saying it’s a phase. The grandma is the most accepting during
her initial reaction, still finding Ludo handsome. The only similarities I could find with
parents intervied by Kane are the white, middle-class, heterosexual mother who wanted
 her son to know how to cook, another white, working-class, heterosexual mother stated
she wanted her son to be explicit about his feelings, and lastly a white, middle-class,
heterosexual father said he was ok with his son playing with dolls. In each of these
instances, their sons are engaging in activities that are stereotypically feminine and each
parent is encouraging that behavior (Kane, 158-159).  
13. In an effort to make Ludo become more masculine, the father spends more time with him
doing stereotypically male activities. The father encourages him to play soccer with a
group of boys and stands on the sidelines encouraging him to play rough and get out
there. He also consistently pressures Ludo to get a boyish haircut and is frustrated that his
wife does not feel the same way. By praising Ludo for being boyish and shaming him for
being girly, Ludo realizes that his parents want him to be a boy and he tries to do so for a
while.
14. Both parents start off by shrugging the behavior of Ludo off. The father tells people at the
party that his son is a jokester while the mother tells the grandmother it is only a phase of
exploration. However, when the behavior continues, the father becomes increasingly
upset and almost violent toward Ludo. The mother is more defensive about Ludo’s
behavior and, while she does not approve of it, knows that he didn’t intend to harm
anyone. This causes many marital disputes and the father even blames the mother for
never trying to get Ludo to change. When the father gets fired, the mother agrees with the
father and blames Ludo for all the troubles they have had in the neighborhood.
15. In the locker room, other boys call Ludo a fairy and bully him about his genitalia. This
drives him to climb into the freezer with a crucifix, possibly trying to kill himself. Later
in the movie, neighbors spray “go away fruits” on the house and Ludo’s mother explains
to him why people are calling him a fruit. When his family moves, he knows he is at fault
and he tries his hardest to be a boy for his parents. While he loves being a girl, Ludo
shows that making his parents happy is more important to him than being who he wants
to be. I believe this is what makes his parents ultimately accept him and love him
unconditionally.
16. The therapy sessions are when Ludo’s parents attempt to rationalize his feminine
behavior. They say that them hoping the gender of the baby was a girl somehow affected
Ludo’s gender expression. Also, in an outburst at the therapy session Ludo’s parents
revealed how they blamed one another for Ludo’s behavior, the father blamed the mother
for not being strict on Ludo and giving him the space to develop feminine behaviors, and
the mother blamed the father for not being very involved in Ludo’s life. Ludo’s parents
feel the need to explain his behavior to everyone around them because they can see the
society rejecting them more and more every day. They are held accountable to society,
their neighbors, and the school.
17. Ludo’s behavior challenges the gender binary since he calls himself a “boy-girl” and does
not conform to the expected gender role of a boy by dressing in girl clothes, playing with
dolls and having a love interest in a boy. Since Ludo is neither a girl or boy, he
challenges the binary. Sex and gender are linked together in this film since everyone
expects Ludo’s gender and gender expression to match his assigned sex at birth.
18. This film supports biological explanations for sex, but shows how gender is socially
constructed. Ludo’s sister explains how having XX chromosomes makes someone a girl
and having XY chromosomes makes someone a boy. Ludo also has his own idea of how
biology works, he believes God thr his X chromosome in the trash and gave him a Y by
mistake. Ludo would be considered transgender by today's standard because he was born
male and wants to live his life as a female. While he self-identifies as “boy-girl”, he
would probably be vied as MTF.