Hosts of internet services are able to exploit our personal data because ………………..
Relevant Points
Collectively, we use internet search engines
billions of times each day, (l. 10)
providing no shortage of personal data (ll. 10-11)
which can then be traded. (l. 11)
Our unquenchable thirst (l. 11)
to share every aspect of our lives on social media
(ll. 11-12)
translates to ample commercial opportunities for
exploitation. (l. 12)
Most social media sites do not charge their users
any fees, (ll. 12-13)
Many have flourished to the point where over a
billion people now regularly used them. [ll.13-14]
The evidence suggests this is a business model
that works. [ll. 14-15]
Although users may be aware that information is
constantly collected (l. 16)
about their location, demographics, (ll. 16-17)
behaviour and habits, (l. 17)
they are usually ignorant as to how it will be
employed
(ll. 17-18)
or who has access to it. (l. 18)
the terms of service on many social media sites
(ll. 18-19)
are not written for the general public’s
consumption. (l. 19)
Many run to tens of thousands of words and
would take several hours to read, and many more
to comprehend. (ll. 19-21)
most sites have such broad licensing terms, (l.
21)
allowing the host company free use of our
personal material (ll. 21-22)
whilst paying lip service to our ‘ownership’ of it.
(ll. 22-23)
[People’s] creative output such as blogs, photos
and videos could be modified, published,
distributed or retained without their consent (ll.
26-28)
Suggested Paraphrase
A Cumulatively/Together, we conduct staggering amounts of
information retrieval daily,
Note:
• Allow lift of ‘internet search engines’, ‘billions of times’
• Must capture sheer volume of usage of internet
B yielding ample amounts of private / personal information,
C which may be sold.
D People’s insatiable/voracious urge/appetite
Note:
• ‘unquenchable’ means a tremendous amount in this case
E to fully display/present/exhibit facets/details/minutiae of their lives
through social media
Note:
• ‘share’ does not mean pass on, but to display or exhibit
F becomes significant business value to be maximized/used
unethically.
[Allow lift of “exploitation”. Summary is about that]
G Many hosts provide free services,
H [inferred: free services as a strategy to draw users]
successfully attracting masses/multitudes of long-term/repeat
users.
I This is a commercial system that is tried-and-tested/guaranteed to
be effective.
J While users may know/understand that hosts persistently/regularly
amass/obtain/gather
K personal / demographic data and
Note:
• Allow lift of “demographic”. This idea of a specific type of information
being targeted is not captured in other points
L information to track routine actions/patterns of behaviour,
Note:
• This idea of information that could be used to capture how people tend
to act is not captured in other points]
M they are generally unaware of how the information is used
N or who might obtain it.
O Frequently, usage guidelines
P are not made accessible to/customised to the needs of the average
user,
Q being unnecessarily lengthy/opaque/too onerous to understand.
R Often, regulations concerning usage are excessively/too
liberal/generous,
Note:
• Do not accept: ‘extensive’ or ‘general’ as both do not capture the
negative implications of such licensing terms
S giving hosts unchecked/unregulated use of our information/full
latitude to use our information as they see fit,
Note:
• ‘free’ in this case means unregulated or unchecked usage of personal
information, not that financial compensation is unneeded.
T even as they put up a pretence/pretend that we retain control /
possession.
U [Inferred: The list of things that could be done to our creative output is
intended to show that effectively, we have ceded ownership to the internet
hosts]
Thus, our original/aesthetic/artistic creations becomes the hosts’
property,
receive no remuneration, (l. 25)
while the website would pocket the licensing fees
for using your material. (l. 25-26)
Exploitation of personal data and targeted
advertising is not a new phenomenon (l.29-30)
We gladly sign up to these programmes all in
return … (l.32-33)
V such that while we get no financial compensation,
W they (website owners) get to monetise them for profit.
X [inferred]
This abuse of personal data is not a new occurrence
Y [inferred]
And they leverage on people’s desire to benefit from such deals

Total – 25 points
Suggested mark allocation

Points 1-2 3-4 5-6 7-8 9-10 11-12 13-14 ≥15

Marks 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Sample summary:

We conduct staggering amounts of information retrieval daily, A yielding ample amounts of private information, B which
may be sold. C People’s insatiable urge D to fully display facets of their lives through social media E becomes significant
business value to be maximized unethically. F Many hosts provide free usage of their services, G successfully attracting
multitudes of long-term users. H While users may know that hosts regularly gather J demographic data and K information
to track routine actions, L they are generally unaware of how the information is used, M or who might obtain it. N

Frequently, usage guidelines O are not made accessible to the average user, P being excessively opaque. Q Often,
regulations concerning usage are excessively liberal, R giving hosts unchecked use of our information, S even as they
pretend that we retain control. T

117 words (19 points – A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T)