Cyber Identities

Maggie Tiojakin, WEEKENDER | Fri, 07/22/2011 10:27 AM |

We chat, we poke, we tweet and we show many different faces on social networking sites.

There is one scene in David Fincher‟s The Social Network (2010) that hits closer to home today
than any other part of the film. No, not Mark Zuckerberg‟s eureka moment, which was beautifully
played by Jesse Eisenberg (although that particular scene speaks volumes about how Facebook
has gotten so big).

The scene that rings truest is when the angry, jilted Zuckerberg decides to write scathing
comments about his ex-girlfriend on his personal blog. What comes after that scene is a typical
three-act structure employed to tell the story of a prodigious master at work and the complicated
relationships surrounding him. It‟s Amadeus all over again. We get it that Zuckerberg‟s a genius.
More than that, however, he was the young and insecure college undergrad who had problems
blending in socially and could not take no for an answer.

Geniuses are often visionaries, but they can suffer blurred vision when it comes to calculating
risks. Zuckerberg stumbled upon a gold mine when he created Facemash (the early version of
Facebook) but it‟s highly unlikely he was presciently aware of the social consequences of his
own creation. Five hundred million plus members later, we are beginning to witness a kind of
perverse reaction to the unconventional way of building social interactions that sometimes
seemingly defy the purpose of social networking sites. Jealousy, stress, identity crises/theft,
bullying, trolling and stalking are among the most prevalent psychological effects caused by
social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

Or maybe it‟s just our way of protesting against this new way of life.

“There‟s always going to be a positive and negative side to any type of innovation,” says Calvin
Kizana, the CEO of Elasitas Multi Kreasi, a technology developer based in Jakarta. “But like all
great powers – and I consider social media as such – we need to be able to utilize ours
responsibly and within our reasonable limitations.”

Love and Other Links

Valentine‟s Day is a big event on cyberspace. So are birthdays, Mother‟s Day, Christmas and
Idul Fitri. The greeting card industry has been hit hard by the emergence of social networking
sites. For almost a decade now, major companies such as Hallmark and Morning Glory have
been grappling with the idea of moving their businesses entirely online in light of the fact that no
one cares to mail greeting cards anymore. People would rather kiss, hug and poke online. Or
send virtual flowers using virtual money. Or quote Lord Byron in their status to express how they
feel. Blockbuster films such as Nora Ephron‟s You’ve Got Mail (1998) – which highlighted the
discovery of true love via random online correspondence – feel sorely outdated in a time when
micro-blogging sites can foment revolutions against tyrannical governments.
“Ever since the Internet „happened‟, there was no doubt that it would change the way we connect
with each other,” says Yurike, who often writes about communications technology development
for publications such as Bisnis Indonesia Online and DailySocial.com.

“Back in the days of mIRC and ICQ [chatroom platforms that became popular in the mid-1990s],
people were already pretty heavy into the whole cyber romance stuff, it‟s just that no one wanted
to talk about it. Yet.”

And then Facebook took it to another level … and things got much more interesting.

“Facebook provides a friendly place for people to engage in conversation, reflect on their past
memories and reunite with people they may [have] lost touch with,” said Julie Spira, a cyber-
dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic
Looking for Love Online, as quoted by ABC News in February 2010.

“People feel more comfortable in reaching out on Facebook because they don‟t run the risk of
rejection that they might get on a phone call.”

Some people find love while reaching out to a long lost friend after a bitter divorce or a decade of
failed relationships; others do so while tweeting about the latest political situation in the Middle
East and seeing that there is, after all, some great substance that can be implied in 140
characters. In the end, love thrives. Or if it doesn‟t, you can always write nasty stuff about the
person who hurts you and post it online, Zuckerberg style.

Defame Game
You might never really know a person because of the skeletons in their closet, but if they‟re on
Facebook or Twitter then you‟re in luck – because that‟s where they usually put those
skeletons on display.

Thanks to social networking sites, we may start to feel that Greek pretty boy Narcissus actually
was one of us. We are so in love with ourselves that we never run out of things to announce to
the world, whether it has something to do with a spectacular achievement (like climbing Mt.
Everest) or a spectacularly mundane activity (like watching a bonsai plant grow: “Today, a
sixteenth of an inch. Yay!”). In general, we always have something to say about ourselves.

“The fact that social networking sites are so successful gives us reason to believe that the
majority of people want to share their life experiences as much as they want to share their
opinions,” says Calvin. “The bottom line is they want to be heard.”

Sometimes we forget that the written word can be a powerful and dangerous tool. In March,
rocker Courtney Love had made the mistake of tweeting defamatory remarks against designer
Dawn Simorangkir, which subsequently ended up with a lawsuit. She eventually settled for
US$430,000 – but think of the price she had to pay for blabbing off about a fellow celebrity.
On the local front, a few months ago, three senior high school students in Bogor, West Java,
were expelled for defaming their school on their Facebook wall. Entertainer Luna Maya‟s
incensed tweet against the aggressive ways of the local infotainment industry back in 2009
sparked a heated debate on context and content in social networking sites.

“What we don‟t realize is that a social networking site is not the same as getting together with
your friends over tea and coffee,” says Ivan Ferlani, who teaches social media at Bina Nusantara
University, when contacted via email.

“These sites give you the illusion that you‟re among „friends‟ when you‟re really not. There is a
certain decorum and discretion that users must exercise on such sites, because you never know
how far the things you say can go.”

Most of the time, what you say is harmless. But there are times when it can cost you personally
and professionally. In the case of an Australian swimming champion, Stephanie Rice, it was her
homophobic remark on Twitter about the South African football team that eventually cost her a
lucrative sponsorship deal with Jaguar and the support of her fans. Lindsay Lohan uploaded a
topless photo of herself on Twitter during a bout of boredom. Of course, it went viral, perhaps not
coincidentally bringing the celebrity an extension on her 15 minutes of notoriety.

But what does that say about us?

Personality Contest
Your next-door neighbor is a serial killer: it‟s possible. Your best friend is secretly in love with
you: it‟s also possible. Your boss and colleagues are stalking your social networking accounts:
that‟s probably true (so beware).

The other wonderful thing about being on popular sites such as Facebook and Twitter, where
nearly everyone you know spends the bulk of their time browsing, commenting, posting and
hashtagging, is that you are only a click away from developing a social disorder that in the past
would have made you a threat to society.

Not today, though. Because today you get to do it all. You are free to be a deviant in every
conceivable way and tweet about it or, better yet, capture it on camera and turn it into your profile
picture. Or videocam it and post it on your wall. Whatever works. Seriously, get your freak on.

“People express themselves in a variety of ways,” writes Ivan. “And sometimes it translates to a
new personality we never knew existed. Some people are more reserved when they are on
social networking sites because they feel conscious about it and believe that everyone‟s
watching them; others just don‟t care so much about whether anyone‟s watching them.”

Or are completely oblivious.

“Social networking sites make it possible for us to recreate our identities,” says Yurike. “However,
our purpose in utilizing these sites goes hand in hand with the image we want to create for
ourselves. So I don‟t think the sites are the problem; I think the problem is us, people.”

And there is such a thing as going too far. Cyber bullying and harassment have led to suicides of
vulnerable young adults.

“Anonymity is always a good enough cover for anyone to indulge their dark impulses,” says Ivan.

“Pranksters flourish on social networking sites because they can get away with almost anything.
Or, at least, that‟s the illusion that they are presented with.”