Running head: UNDERSTANDING OTHERS ESSAY 1

Understanding Others Essay

Kali Morrison

HRDV 2303-D01 Diversity in the Workplace

Texas Tech University

UNDERSTANDING OTHERS ESSAY 2

Introduction

The person that I chose to interview is a long-term friend of mine, Kim. I chose to

interview her because she is first generation Vietnamese-American and I wanted to take this

opportunity to get to know her better and learn more about her culture. Kim and I have been

friends for over ten years, during that time I have met her family and have had the opportunity to

see first-hand some of the differences in how our families function. I also felt more comfortable

speaking with Kim because I knew that she would not be put off or offended by my asking about

her family and how she grew up.

Analysis of Answers

In discussing names, I learned a lot. Kim is married and did not “take” her husband’s last

name. She explained that in Vietnam names are not changed when people marry, but children are

given their father’s last name. I also learned that the tradition in her family is to have the

mother’s surname as a middle name. This is a common practice in Vietnam and one she said she

has passed on to her children. Kim said she thinks it is important for her children to carry some

of both of their parents and hopes that it will continue to be a family tradition. I asked her if she

knew why her parents chose to name her Kim, which is not short for Kimberly. She said that it is

also a common name in Vietnam, but her parents wanted her to have an “American” name so

things would be easier for her. I asked her if she thought that it has had any effect, she answered,

“I’m just another Asian named Kim.” However, she doesn’t think that it has had a negative effect

either.
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My parents chose my name from a book. It has no familial or personal significance for

either of my parents. I am named in the traditional American way: first, middle, last. My last

name is the same as my fathers; when my parents were married my mother took my father’s last

name and returned to her maiden name when they divorced. I do not think that my name has had

much of an impact on my life. It is commonly mispronounced or misspelled, but those are minor

inconveniences that I have become accustomed to.

Kim shared a lot about her background and what it was like for her growing up. Kim’s

parents immigrated from Vietnam in the early 1980s. Her father worked as a migrant farmer for

several years before he settled his family in Boise, Idaho. He had heard that Idahoans loved

Chinese food and that if he were to move there he could have a successful restaurant. Once he

arrived he obtained a loan to start his restaurant. Kim was born in 1985 and grew up in the

restaurant. For the restaurant to be successful, everyone was needed and expected to help. Kim

said that when she was as young as five she was bussing tables and helping as much as she

could.

When Kim began school, her family was living in a rougher area and Kim said that she

didn’t notice much of a difference between herself and her classmates. After her family’s

restaurant became more established, Kim’s mother found a position at Micron making computer

chips. Between the success at the restaurant and her mother’s income, Kim’s family was able to

move to one of the most prestigious neighborhoods. Kim said that high school was what she

expected most people went thought. She wasn’t super popular or unpopular. She had a group of

friends that she liked and liked her. In high school Kim began to become aware that her family

experience was much different than her classmates. Her family’s success depended on everyone
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in her family working very hard. Her free time was spent working at the restaurant and she was

also expected to have straight As. Her parents were very protective of her and preferred that Kim

spend her energy on working – either school or at the restaurant.

Kim continues to pick up shifts and help at the restaurant. Her brother is now the

manager, and his daughters, Kim’s nieces, are working like she did before them.

I grew up much differently than Kim. I don’t remember my parents living together for

much of my childhood and when I was eight my parents divorced. My mother worked very hard

to support our family. My father lived 300 miles away and he was not very committed to

visiting. I don’t have very many memories of either of my parents for most of my childhood.

I grew up in a very rural area. I spent most of my childhood running through the forest in

my backyard, building forts, and exploring. I lived near a swimming pool and when I was twelve

I began working there in the summer so I would have something to do. My mom was thrilled that

I would have something to do while she was working. I did it because I had nothing else to do.

In high school, I had a couple of close friends, but preferred to be by myself. I was

graduated early and left for college where I met Kim.

Kim and I talked about if she thought that her ethnicity contributed to her identity. She

thought that it absolutely had. She said that her family is very traditional. The traditions they

follow and celebrate are the same as what they would have followed had they not left Vietnam.

She said that she grew up knowing that she was working to support her family, honor her

ancestors, and set up future generations for success. She said that it was difficult at times because

her family was unsure how to celebrate American holidays and it was important to Kim’s parents
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to create traditional American memories for their children. Kim and her older brother were

expected to learn how to appropriately celebrate so that their family would be able to learn. Kim

said that she thinks her parents struggle with balancing their Vietnamese identity with wanting to

fit in and be American.

Being a white American, I do not feel a strong tie to any ethnic heritage. I grew up in a

family that has been in America long enough to have lost the direct knowledge of which of our

ancestors came from Europe. I think that I have a lack of culture because I do not have strong

ties to any group that would provide it.

Analysis of Answers

I think that culturally Kim and I have had very difference experiences with names and their

significance. For Kim, her name is a part of her history. It shows not only who she is, but also

who her parents and ancestors are. She also thinks that it is important to pass the naming

tradition on to her children. I will also probably pass my family’s naming tradition onto my

children – I will find a name I like based on my opinion for their first and middle names, and

they will have their father’s surname.

How we grew up was also very different. She spent her free time helping to create a

successful business. She was expected to maintain high grades and work very hard. Failure and

slacking off were not options. Kim’s family is very close. She continues to work in her parents’

restaurant. She also helps with her nieces when her brother or sister-in- law needs it. They also

help her with her children. My mother did expect me to do well in school, but that was all I had

to focus on. I worked because I wanted to and if I hadn’t my mother wouldn’t have had a
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problem with it. Both my sister and I have moved a pretty fair distance from my mother. I see

my mom only once or twice a year.

I think the biggest differences are in how we see our ethnicity shaping our identity. I do not

see being a white American as culturally significant to me. My family does not have any strong

traditions that are significantly different. We celebrate holidays in traditional American ways

with little deviations – turkey on Thanksgiving, presents on Christmas, ham on Easter. My

culture is that of mainstream white America. For Kim her ethnicity is a strong contributing factor

to why she does many things. From how she has named her children to holidays that she

celebrates and how she celebrates them. These traditions are very important to her and she wants

to make sure that her children get the opportunity to celebrate both her Vietnamese heritage and

their father’s white American traditions.

Differences and Similarities

The lack of cultural connection is why I think that our answers are so different. Kim has very

traditional Vietnamese parents. Her parents worked very hard to get to America and to get

established. They made enormous sacrifices to make sure that their children would be better off

than they were. I think that the emphasis that her family and culture place on taking care of the

family unit first, then the community has shaped the way that Kim sees the world. She often

jokes about “shaming the family cow.” But even in that joke Kim is concerned how her actions

portray her family and the Vietnamese community in Boise. She is a very hard worker that has a

lot of respect for her parents. She never says anything negative about hem and I can tell in the
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way that she speaks about them that she holds them in very high regard and works hard to earn

their approval and to make them proud of what she is doing for her family now and how her

daughters will benefit from her hard work.

I do not have a strong tie to my ethnicity. For me it is something that I am not who I am.

Because I don’t see being a white American as being significant to my identity I do not feel

strong ties to my culture. I believe that for much of white America the emphasis is defiantly on

the self rather than the family or community. I think the first thought is how this will benefit me,

then my family, then my community. Because the first thought is of self, I think that a lot of

respect for others is lost, and with that loss comes a lack of strong cultural traditions. The

traditions that I have and celebrate are not significant to me I do them because that is what is

expected on the fourth Thursday in November, December 25 th , etcetera.

Relation to Course Concepts

In talking with Kim, I learned a lot about her, her culture, and myself. Because this was more

than a conversation I was more aware of how I felt about her answers and how her experiences

were similar or different to mine. This reflection allowed me to see that I defiantly have

enculturation going on in my life. I struggle with identifying what my culture is and assume that

it is how most people live (103). I think that this is because I haven’t critically examined why I

do the things that I do and how they are significant to shaping my identity. I have a lot of work to

do on this so that I can determine where I might have unknown biases.

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By learning about Kim and her past I could see that we have many differences in how we

grew up. I also think that there are also many unapparent similarities. I think that while it is very

important to acknowledge that people have differences and those differences shape who we are,

our perspectives, and even how we react in a situation. It is also important to be able to see the

similarities. The similarities will be what allow us to build bridges and overcome difficulties that

may arise.

I think that by being aware of the experiences of others helps create a double consciousness

(109). By learning about Kim’s background, I could see why she reacts in certain ways. Because

we have been friends for such a long time there have been times that we have disagreed. After

learning more about her family and her culture I can understand her reactions better – where they

are coming from and what is fueling them. This also applies to how she reacts when she is happy

and even her interaction with her children.

Learning Experience

I learned a lot about myself. I found that I need to do a thorough inventory of myself to

examine who I am. I used to think that I did not have a culture, but that is not true. I just need to

start looking for it. I can do this by examining why I behave in certain ways and analyzing my

interactions with others to see if my reaction is due to how I was brought up. I think that this

introspection will be very difficult and will be an ongoing process. I think that it is important for

me to start on this process so that I can see how my identity is shaped by my culture.
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I learned that while I have had many experiences and met people from all over the world, my

world is still very limited. I think that this is probably common. It takes hard work to see beyond

personal beliefs, acknowledge differences, and see similarities in others. By being open to new

experiences and new people I think my world will get larger. I think that this holds true for

others as well.

Conclusion

In the workplace being culturally aware is critical. I think my biggest take away from this

assignment is that culture drives people. Everyone has a culture and by being sensitive to that

can help to avoid conflicts or resolve them when they do come up. I think that the best way to

create cultural competence in the workplace is to create a corporate culture that encourages

everyone to be who they are. I agree with Butcher that the “group of the month” approach is

ineffective (105). I also think that the only way to increase cultural competence is if the person

wants to. Because of this I think the most effective way to increase personal cultural competence

is create the environment that allows for this type of personal growth.

To increase organization cultural competence, the first step is to make sure that the leaders of

the organization are onboard. Without them being actively involved the effort will be lost. I

would also work hard to increase diversity. I would do this by trying to find qualified people that

don’t fit the typical image for what that position. By increasing diversity, I think that it will

provide the first step for cultural competence – a new culture is being introduced. Another route I

would explore is for training that relates to cultural competence. By having a quality training
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program available for all employees, I think that it shows that the organization is committed to

acceptance of all cultures and that discrimination will not be tolerated. I also think that creating a

workplace that encourages open honest communication also would increase cultural competence

for the organization. This would encourage cultural competence for the organization because if

an employee had a problem they would feel comfortable bring it to the attention of management.
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References:

Bucher, R. (2015). Diversity consciousness: opening our minds to people, cultures, and

opportunities. (4th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.