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Creating My Coping Card

Now that you have learned all of these different coping skills, you
need to make a Coping Card. Here are the steps:

1. Write down as many specific ideas as you can think of for each
of the forms of coping. You will probably end up with a long list.
Remember that all of these skills work for someone, but none of
these skills work for everyone. The point for now is simply to
brainstorm—you aren’t committing to doing every single idea you
come up with. Having trouble starting? I’ve provided some
examples.

Change the Temperature: Drink a cold beverage and then take a

hot shower after a stressful day at work.

Controlled Breathing: Focus on my breathing every night before I
go to sleep as a way to relax.
Making Comparisons: When I get discouraged about a recent
relapse, I can think about how much progress I have made since I
started learning DBT!

Counting Blessings: Make a gratitude list of everything that I am

thankful for whenever I feel like giving up.

Pros and Cons:

Half Smile:

Intense Exercise:

Muscle Relaxation:

Finding Humor:
Memorization:

Helping Others:

Self-Care:

Looking Back:
Looking Forward:

One Thing at a Time:

Mini Vacation:

Cheerleading:

Journaling:
Enjoyable Activities:

Soothing with the Senses:

Ride the Wave:

Imagery:
 Finding Purpose:

2. Go over what you wrote and pay special attention to specific

activities that emerge in more than one category. For example, if
you wrote “riding my bike” under Intense Exercise, Self-Care,
Enjoyable Activities, and Mini Vacation, then you know you found
a keeper! Put a star next to it.

3. Now review each item on your list, and cross out any coping
skill that you think might not work or that you probably wouldn’t
actually use. You only want coping skills on your list that will
consistently work for you. You don’t want so many options that
the list is overwhelming. But you also need enough options in
case one coping skill is not possible.

4. Now let’s create the actual Coping Card. There are many ways
to do this. Back in the olden days when DBT was first created,
people made actual cards with reminders of their coping skills.
This is still a good way of doing it, which is why I’m asking you to
fill out the chart below. Go back to your list and place a star next
to each activity that you think will be the most effective for you
most of the time. Write that activity in the second column.

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 5. Incorporate as many coping skills into your daily routine as
possible. Make these coping skills part of your lifestyle—your new
normal. You can even combine your favorite coping skills for
added effect. For example, I love to sip coffee while reading, or
pray while riding my bicycle. Visualize the skills even when you
can’t use them. And don’t forget: Practice makes prepared!
Remember that your Coping Card is your temporary Balanced
Mind. In other words, the Coping Card is what we need to resort
to when we are not in our real Balanced Mind. That means your
Coping Card needs to always be immediately accessible.

6. Share your Coping Card with your friends, your counselor, your
mentor, your sponsor, your spouse, your spiritual guide, and other
people within your support network. If other people know about
your Coping Card, they will be able to provide you with moral
support and accountability.

7. Revise your Coping Card as needed. Consider this a “living

document” in both senses of the word. Not only will these coping
skills be your lifeline, they will also continue to evolve over time,
and you want to make sure your list is up to date with your current
needs.

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