[

03/
28,
11:
10]Lynne:*
DISCOVERI
NGREALLOVE*

Iam Nt ombi kayisePot i.At went yt hreeyearol d

rur
algirl.Daught ert othel ateNobandl aPot iand
MziwakhePot i
.Mymot herdi edwhenIwasj ust5
yearsol d.Myf atherr emar riedawomanbyt he
nameofNomvul aFakudewhopr ovedt oonl yhave
l
ovef ort hechi ldrent hatshegavebi rthto.IfIdid
notknowanybet t
erIwoul dhavet houghtt hest or
y
ofCinder ell
awasapr ophecyofmyl ife,onlyan
Afri
canver sionofi t
.Ihavet wosi bl i
ngswhoar emy
fat
her'schi ldrenf rom hi ssecondwi fe.Abr other
andsist er,Nol wazi andLwaziPot iwhoar et wins
andar enow15year sol d.Ihaveal waysbeen
envi
ousoft hem becauset heygotal ltheloveand
aff
ectionofamot hert hatIwasr obbedof f.My
fat
herwor kedf arf rom homei nami neandonl y
camehomeonceayeardur ingtheDecember
holi
day.I tgavehi swi fepl ent yoftimet otreatme
l
ikedirt.Ilovemyf atherandIknowt hathel oves
met oo, butIcoul dneverbr ingmysel ftotellhim
aboutt hewayhi swi fet reatedmebecauseIf ear ed
thathewoul dst ri
pmeof fhi slove.Forsomer eason
heal soisol atedmef rom mymot her '
sf ami l
yaf ter
get ti
ngmar riedtoNomvul a.Tosuchanext entt hat
wemovedf rom t hevi ll
agewel i
vedi nt oanot her
unknownt omymot her '
sf amily.Fort hatIam angr y
athi m aboutbecausehedoesnothaveanext ended
fami ly.Henevert alkedaboutt her easonsbehi nd
him bei ngal lalonewhenot herpeopl ehave
extendedf ami ly.Isuspectt heyal ldiedort hathe
wasdi sownedbyt hem.Imovedf rom myvi l
lage
becauseImetaman, BongaVi mbi( 30year sol d)
fiveyear sagowhopr omi sedmeever ythingunder
thesun.amanwhopr omi sedt ot akemet o
uni versitysot atIcoul dmakesomet hingofmyl ife.
Amant hatwas7year smyseni or.Thenai veme
fellheadoverheel sinl ovewi t
ht hisman.I twas
easyf orhimt oconvi ncet hethen18yearol dme,
whohadf oryear slivedundert hecr uel t
yofast ep
mot hert omoveawayf rom home.Ir emember
tell
inghi mt hatIwoul dt hi nkabouti tandt hatsame
nightwhenIgothome, myst epmot hert hrew
l
ukewar m oi lonmef ornotcooki ngont i
me.I twas
thent hatIr eali
zedt hati fIdidnotgetoutoft her e
shewoul dki l
lme, bur ymei nt hebackyar dandt ell
myf at herthatIhadr anaway.SoIdi dmysel fa
favourbyr unningawaywi t
ht hemanwhol ovedme,
whowant st oseemesucceedandmar ryme.Idi d
notevent akecl ot
hesbecausemykni ghtinshi ning
armourpr omi sedmeanent irewar dr obeofcl othes.
AllIt ookwasmyMat r i
cCer tifi
cate, IDanda
pictur esofmymot herandf ather.Il eftwhi l
emy
dadwasawayatwor k, meani ngIdi dnotgeta
chancet osaygoodbyenorgethi sbl essings, ther e
wasi mpl ynot i
mebecausei fmyst epmot herf ound
outt hatIwasgoi ngt ol i
vet hegoodl if
e,inabi gci ty
shewoul dhaveconvi ncedhi mt of or bidmef rom
going.I tsti
llhauntsmet hatIl ef
thomel iket hat ,li
ke
at hi
efi ntheni ght.BongaandIhadbeendat ingf or
amont hwhenIdeci dedt oplacemyent i
ref utur ein
hishands.Wemovedt oCapeTownandIwasso
excited.Exci tedtogetawayf r
om abuse, tofinal l
y
seewhataci t
ylooksl ike,togot ouni versityand
startanewl i
fe.Li
ttledi dIknowt hatIwasput ting
myl ifei nthehandsofsomeonewhowoul dcr ushi t.
[
03/
28,
11:
13]Lynne:ONE
Nt
ombi
“Abusiver elat
ionshi psar el i
keabaddr ug,youknow
i
tisbadf oryoubutyouhavear eall
yhar dt i
me
escapingf rom it
”, r
eadt hemagazi net hatIheldi n
myhands.Ihadneverr eadsomet hingmor et rue.It
furt
hergaveadvi ceonhowawomani nanabusi ve
rel
ationshipcoul df reeher sel
f.Itissoeasyf or
thosewhohaveneverbeeni nonet osay“ l
eave
him”whent heydonotknowt hecompl et
est ory.
Thet hi
ngaboutbei ngi nanabusi ver elat
ionshipi s
thatitrequiresyout ol oseyourf ri
end, yourf amily,
yourdr eams, yourdi gni tyandsomuchmor e.My
abuserpl ayedhi scar dsr i
ght.Hemadesur et hatI
donothaveanyonebuthi mt ol eanon.Whenwe
arri
vedi nCapeTownwel ivedinawor noutshack,
theopposi teofwhatBongapr omi sed.Thatshoul d
havebeent hef i
rstthi ngt hatmademeheadbackt o
myf ather'shousebutbet weenhi ssmoot h
explanationandt hef earofgoi ngbackhomeIdi d
notgoback.Heshowedmear oundbutnotso
muchbecausehesai di twast oodanger ous.The
skwat tacampl i
fewasadi fferentlifetot hatIsawi n
booksaboutCapet own.Ideci dedt ost opwant ing
mor ebecauseIhadamanwhoputf oodont he
tableandwaski ndt ome.Ikeptonnaggi ngBonga
aboutuni versityappl icati
onsandhekeptonhavi ng
excuses, anot herr edf l
agthatIi gnor ed.Bongat ook
meoutt ot ownf ort hever yfir
stt i
meaboutsi x
mot hsaf termovi ngi nwi t
hhi m.If inallygottosee
theCapeTownt hatIsawi npi ctures, i
twasso
beautiful.Ididnotaskhi m whyhedeci dedt ofinall
y
all
owmet ocomewi t
hhi mt otownbecausei twas
appar entlydanger ous, buthej ustsai di twas
becausehel oves.Thosewor dswer eenought o
makemest opaski ngquest ionsandenj oytheday.
Whenwewentbackhome, wewer egr eetedbya
devast ati
ng, ourshackhadbur ntdown.Al lmy
i
mpor tantdocument sthatIneededt oappl yat
universitywer egone.WhenIaskedhi m whatwe
woul ddo, hesai dIshoul dnotwor ry,thathegotus
anRDPhouset ol i
vei n.Itwasast houghhehad
prepar edf orthef ir
e.Idi dnotcar eaboutt heshack,
onlymypaper s.Bongat oldmet hati twoul dtake
thousandofr andst ogetnewonessoIneededt o
wai tunt i
lhehadsavedupenoughmoneyt opayf or
i
t.Iwaspat i
entandunder standing.Ithasbeenf i
ve
year sandst i
llnot
hing.Mypr i
ncechar mi ngalso
turnedi ntoamonst eraboutt hreeyear sago.Iwas
sitti
ngandr eadingthemagazi newhenIhear dt he
doorcr eek,hewashomeandmymoodwentf rom
neut raltocompl etel
ydown.Inol ongerenjoyt his
relati
onshi p.Ilovehim buthei snott hemanI
thoughthewas.I tfi
rststartedwi t
hf orbi
ddingme
from goi ngt ovisi
tneighbor s,t
henhest art
ed
hur t
ingmewi thhiswor dsandt hent hebeat i
ng
started.I'vebeent hi
nkingaboutmyl if
eandI 've
concl udedt hatIam meantt obeabused.Isnapped
outofmysadt houghtswhenIf el
tthemegazi nehi t
myf acehar d.Ilookedupt ofacehi m andhehada
l
ookofdi sgustonhi sface.
Bonga:"
Whyhaven'tyoucookedanyt
hing?
",hesai
d
whil
epoint
ingatt
hekitchen.
Ntombi:"I'
m onmyper iods,Bongaandyouknow
thatmyper i
odpai naretentimesworse
since.
..
since.
.."Heaggressi
velypull
edmeupfrom
thecouchbef oreIcouldfi
nish.Il
ookedi
ntohi
s
eyesandIsawpur ehatr
edinthem.Hehat edit
whenItalkedaboutthereasonwhymyper iodpai
ns
areunbearablebecauseheknewt hathewast o
blameforit.Iwai
tedforhimtodowhat everwit
hme
becauseitseemst oboosthi
stwistedego.
Bonga:"Youhadbettergoi ntothatdamnki tchen
andcookmesomef oodbef oreit
'syourfacet hat
l
andsonahotpl ate.IfI'
m noteatingi nanhour ,you
wil
lseeflames,l
it
erall
y",hesaidwhi leti
ghteninghis
gri
paroundmyar m.Me:" Dinnerwillbereadysoon" ,
Imanagedt osayinal owt one.Bonga:"Aren'tyou
for
gott
inganythi
ng?"
Me:" I'm sorryfordisrespectingyoubynotcooki ng
i
nt i
me, Bonga",Isaidstil
llookingintohisdarkeyes.
Hel etgoofmyar m bypushi ngmet owar dsthe
door .Iflewintoi tandhadt ousemyhandst ohold
ont ot hef r
ameormyf acewoul dhavesur el
y
ki
ssedt hedoorandnoti nagoodway.Iwasi nreal
pain, buttoavoi dconf l
ictIhadt odoast old.We
havepl entyofleftoversthatIhavef rozenbuthe
won' teati t
.Itookoutt hepot sandt heingredients
I'
l
lneedandst artedcooki ng.Hecamei ntothe
kit
chenandt ookoutabeeri nthef ridge.Ihat edthe
smel lofit,i
nf actIhat edt hesmel lofBonga.I twas
ami xtureoft obacco, sweatandbeer .Hewasno
l
ongert hatgoodl ooki ngmant hatIknew, hehad
grownapot bell
ywhi chmadehi ml ooklikeaf rog
becausehewasnowasl endermanwi thabi gbeer
bell
y.Per hapshewasal waysugl ybutt hel oveIhad
forhim bl i
ndedme.Ibecamener vousever yt i
mehe
wast oocl oset omebecauseIneverknewwhatt o
expect .WhatI '
m gr atefulforisthef actthathe
stoppedhavi ngsexualdesi resforme, hepr efersto
buyf rom escor ts.Ican' timagi nehi mt ouchi ngme
now.I 'm sureI'dbat hoverandoveragai nandeven
thatwoul dnotbeenough.Ial sot hinksexi s
overrated.I'
veonl yhadi twithhi m andnotoncedi d
Ienjoyi t,
notevenwhenIwasmadl yinlovewi th
him.Icont inuedt ocookwhenIhear dasof tknock
ont hedoor .Her ushedt oopenbecausehef ears
thatifIgett oocl oset oanyonei nournei ghbor hood
I'
dtalkaboutt hehel lbehindourcl oseddoor .He
openedandSi ndi ,ournei ghbor scamei n.
Si
ndi
:Goodeveni
ng,
lovebi
rds.IhopeIdon'
t
dist
urbyourcooki
ng.Ntombi,Ibroughtyouthese.
It
'stheUni
versi
tybookl
etsyouaskedf or.Igotone
fr
om UCT,UWC, CPUTandI '
llgetmoresoon.Iwi sh
youallt
hebestwithyourappli
cation.
Bonga:Thankyou, Sindi
.Iwillhavebeent r
yingt
o
gethertogot ouniversi
tybecauseI'
m willi
ngto
givehereverythi
ngsheneeds.Thi sti
meI 'l
lappl
y
forhermyself"Sindi
:"Holdont ohi
m, si
si.Aman
whosuppor t
syourdr eamsi sakeeper.Letmego, I
alsolef
tpotsont hestove",
shesaidwhi l
elaughing.
Bonga:" I
'l
lalsoencour agehert ovisityou.Thi sone
l
ovesl ockingher sel
fint hishouse" ,hesai djokingl
y
andSi ndilaughed.Ifonl ysheknewt hatIget
threatenedt ostayi ndoor s.Heevenbuysour
grocer ieshimself.Inol ongergetcash.It hanked
Sindiandsai dgoodbyeandl eft.Bongadi dn'teven
wai tforhert oreacht hegat ewhenIf eltatheback
ofhi shandl andonmycheek.Imett hef loorwith
sucheasebecauseIhavegot tenthin, Inolonger
haveacur vyhourgl assf igure.Ilaidont hefloor
bli
nki ngmyt earsawayt ryingnott oshow
weakness.Bonga:" Youar esl owf oragi r
lwho
clai
mstohavebeenanAst udent.Iburntthatdamn
shackdownonpur pose.Youthinkyoucangot o
schoolwi
thmymoneyandt hent hi
nkyou' rebet
ter
thanmebymar ryi
ngsomel awyeraf terImadeyou
somethi
ng.Youwillremainthenothingyouwer e
whenIfoundyou.I'
m notgoingtopayf oryoutoget
repl
acementdocuments.
Me:Andyouwi l
lf oreverremainacowar d.Onl ya
cowar ddoeswhatyoudo.Youhi tondef enceless
women, youar eaf raidtohaveaneducat edwomam
byyoursidebecauseyouknowt her ealnothing
hereisyou",Isai dwhi lesobbing.Ididnotgett o
saymuchmor ebecausehewasont opofme
beforeIknewi t.Hewasdi shi
ngoutf istsonmy
fragi
lebodylikeneverbef ore.Hehashi tmebef ore,
butneverli
ket his.Thi stimehehi tmeunt i
lmybody
gotnumb.Myvi sionbecamebl urry.IthoughtIwas
goingbli
nd.Hef inallystoppedwhenher eal
ized
thatI
'm nolongerr esponding.Ithenpassedout .I
woket othefeelingofaf ingerbrushingmyhand.I
couldnotevenmovei tbecauseIknewi twas
Bonga's.Myent i
rebodywassor e,li
terall
yallofme
wasinpai nbutthepai noutsidedidnotcompareto
thatwhichIfel
tinside.Myst epmom hi tmebut
nevertothispoint.Ishoul
dhavest ayedhome,
clear
lyNomvul awasabet t
erdevi l
.Iopenedmy
eyesandgotgr eetedwi t
hthesi ghtofBongacryi
ng,
hiseyeswer ered.Sindiwentt ostandbehindhi
m.
Sindi
:"Nt
ombi,howareyoufeel
ing?Ican'
tbel
ieve
thatt
hosenyaopeboysdidthi
stoyouinyourown
yard"
,shesai
dinconcern.Me:"
Nya..
."
Bonga:"Yes,baby.Youwer egoingtotakeour
cl
othesofftheline.Igotwokenupbyyourcr ies
becauseImusthavepassedoutduet oexhaust i
on.
WhenIcameoutyouwer efill
edwit
hbl oodandtwo
boyranoutoft heyardintothebushinf r
ontofthe
house",
hesobbed.
Sindi
:Hewasi nsuchast ateshame.Thepeopl e
couldnotfi
ndthosebastardswhodi dthis.Wewil
l
thoughandtheywi l
lbesorry.I'
mj ustgladyou'
re
ali
ve.HadBonganotnotwokenupandcomeout
wewoul dbesayingsomet hingelse.Youhavea
man, Nt
ombiyho",shepraisedBonga.Me:" Where
didyoufindme?",IaskedbecauseIr ememberwhat
r
eal
lyhappened.Il
ookedathim andhepr
etended
t
obesobbingtoomucht oevenspeak.
Si ndi:"Bongaf oundyoubyt hewashi ngl i
ne.They
tookyourphoneandgr ocer ymoneyt hatwasi n
yourpocket .Het r
iedt ofightof fthoseboysbutt hey
ranaway.Het hencal ledoutf orhel p.Thecl othes
ont hel i
newer escat teredandsomef il
ledwi th
blood.Wequi cklycalledanambul ance.You' ve
beenoutsi nceyest erday", saidBonga' snewl ysel f
appoi ntedspokeswoman, whi lethe" pained"
boyf r
iendweptcr ocodi l
et ear s.Ican'tbelievet hat
thismant ookmeoutbackt oourwashi ngline, t
ook
somecl eancl othes, madesur esomehadmybl ood
oni tandt henpl ayedt hecar ingboyf ri
end.Ifonl y
Sindiandot herpeopl eknewt hatt heywer ehel ping
thesuspectgetmet ohospi tal.I'
m evenaf r
aidt hat
somei nnocentdr ugaddi ct edboysmi ghtbebl amed.
Inournei ghbor hoodt heyneckl acesomeal legedl y
thugsorbeatt hem up.Somewher esomeone' schild
mi ghtgetki l
ledbecausemycowar dofamancan' t
takebl ame.Me:" You'reget ti
ngbet t
eratcomi ngup
withexcusesf oryourdeeds.Ihavet oadmi tthis
onetopsi
tal
l",
Isai
dwhil
elaughingi
ndi
sbel
ief
causi
ngmyripstof
eel
mor epain.
Bonga:" Listen,bitch.Onewor daboutt het ruthto
SindiswaoranyoneandI 'l
ldof arwor set hant his.I
saidI '
m sor ry,nowgetoveri tandwhent hedoct or
comessayyouwantt obedi schar ged", hesai di na
l
owhi ssingt onewhi lepoi nt
inghi sdirtyf ingeratme.
Truthi sIam scar ed.I '
m scar edoft el
lingpeopl ethe
truthjustlikeIwaswhenNomvul ahitme.They
alwayst hr eatenedt hatt henextbeat i
ngwi llbe
wor seandIf earedt hat.Iwantt ot al
kbutIcan' t
.I'
m
notbr aveenoughandI 'vegotnowher et or unt o.
Thedoct orcamei nandsai dt her earenoi nternal
i
nj uri
es, onlyaf racturedr ibwhi chwi l
lheal .Itold
himI 'dliketogetdi schar gedbuthedi dnothave
nonoft hat.Icoul dseet heangeri nBonga' sface.
Thepol i
ceal socamef orast atement .Iconf ir
med
Bonga' sst ory.Theywant edmet odescr ibet he
boysbutIsai dIdi dn'tgetachancet ol ookatt heir
facesasi tallhappenedsof ast.Iwasnotaboutt o
descr i
beaper sonwhor eall
yexi stsandhavet hem
bevi cti
msofmobj ustice.Theymi ghtbeaddi cts
butthoseboyshaveal waystr
eatedmewi t
hr espect
.
Icouldseethatthefemalecopdidn'tbel
ieveme.
I'
m suremyeyeswer ecr
yingoutforhelp.It
'ssaid
thattheeyesarethewindowtothesoulaf terall
andmysoulwasf il
ledwit
hdarknessandpai n.
[
03/
28,
11:
14]Lynne:TWO

NTOMBI

Ihavebeeni nhospi talforaweeknowandBonga

hadbeennot hingbutanangel .Maybehecoul dsee
thathehadgonet oof arthist i
me.I tisalmostas
thoughhehadr et
urnedt ohi sol dself
,themant hat
Ifelli
nlovewi thfiveyear sago.Hewasget t
ing
praisesfrom thehospi t
alst affdownt ocompl ete
strangers,buthehasal waysbeengoodatshowi ng
thepubl i
caki ndhi m.Mybedsi detablewasfil
led
withflowersf r
om hi m andsweett r
eatsfr
om Sindi.
IfIwasnotapr isoner ,Iwoul dhavebeenf ri
ends
withSindi.Sheseemedl i
keani ceyounggi r
landi s
aboutt ostartherfirstyear .Hear ingherspeak
aboutallshewil
ldoatuni versi
tyhurtme, notina
j
ealouswaybuti nawayt hatr emindedmet hatI
mightnevergettothatpoint.Abeaut i
fulyoung
doctorwasassisti
ngmydoct or,Iam guessingthat
sheisdoingherinter
nship.Shesmi ledwhenshe
sawme.

DrZim:“Youarelookinggood.Theswell
ingonyour
facehasgonedown, youropenwoundsar ecl
osing
andyoudonotf eelasmuchpai nwhenwepr ess
yourri
bs.DrJonesandIar everyhappyandIsure
youwillbehappytohearthatyouaregoinghome”,
shesaidandevendi dahappydance.Icouldnot
helpbutsmil
e,suddenlyherhappi
nessrubbedoff
onme

Me:“ThankDrZimkhit
ha.I
'
m sti
lli
npain,
soifyou
st
il
lwanttokeepmeher eI
'l
lunder
stand”
,It
ri
edmy
l
uckbecauseIdidn'
twantt
ogobackhome.

DrZi
m:“
I'
veneverhear
danyonesayt
hedoct
orcan
prol
ongthei
rstayatahospi
tal.Donotworr
y,you
aregoodenoughtogohealathomeandt hi
sisa
stat
ehospit
al,
meaningthi
sbedshouldbeof f
ered
tosomeonewhoneedsi tmore”

Me:“
Iunder
stand.Hol
dol
dar
eyoui
fyoudont
't
mi
ndmeasking”.

DrZi
m:“ I
'
m 26”,
shesaidwithasmil
e.Sheisonl
y
t
hreeyearsol
derthanme,yetshei
sadoctor.

Me:“IlostmyI DandMat r
iccertif
icatetoashack
fi
re.I
'm wonderinghowmuchi twillcosttoreplace
both?.Iwouldlovetogobackt oschoolbutIcan
notapplywithoutthosedocument s”,Iaskedher
becauseafterBongaadmi t
tedt ostarti
ngaf ir
et hat
notonlydestroyedmydocument sbutal sothe
shacksoftwent ymorefamili
esInol ongerbeli
eve
him.
DrZim:“I
'm sogl
adtohearayoungblackwoman
wanti
ngtogot oschool
,I
'm alr
eadyproudofyou,
Ntombi.Wellt
her
eisafeeyouhavet opaytoget
both”
,shesaidwhil
eexaminingmyribarea.

Me:“
Ihavebeent
ryingtosavebutIcoul
dnotget
t
housandofr
andsto..
.”

DrZim:“ What?!Whoonear t
ht ol
dyoui tcostst
hat
much?I tisonlyafewr ands.Iestimatet hecostfor
anewmat r
iccer
ti
fi
cat et
obeaboutR105andf oran
IDaboutR140.Theni cethi
ngi sthatyoucangot o
HomeAf fai
rsandgetat empor ar
yI Df oraboutR80.
Itwil
lhelpyouapplyf oranewcer t
if
icatewhi l
eyou
arewaitingforyournewI D”,shesaidwi t
hsuch
pati
ence.Iwasshockedt hatthecost sdonoteven
amountt oR500.IguessI 'm notassmar tasI
thought.Ibeli
evedthatbastardforyear s.Ifel
tli
kea
dumbbum.Iam sur eDrZi mt houghtsot oo.

Me:“
Let
'ssayt
hatIhavet
hemoney.Whati
sthe
pr
ocess?
”

DRZi m:“ Got othenear estpolicestati

on.Askt o
haveaaf fi
davitwrittent oyou.I nityouwi lltellwhat
happenedt oyourdocument s.Onceyougett hat,
yougot ohomeaf fairswi t
hyourR80f orthe
tempor aryIDandt heR140f ort heactualone.You
shouldgett het empor aryonei mmedi ately,gomake
copiesofi t,
thengobackt ot hepol i
cest ationt o
haveacopycer ti
fi
ed.Nowwi tht hatcopyandyour
R105, youcangoappl yf oranewcer t
if
icate.I tcan
bedoneonl inenow.Youwi llsendt hemoneyt o
thei
rbank.Onceyouhavedonet hatsendt he
cert
ifi
edcopyofyourt empor aryandt hepr oofof
paymentt otheemai laddressgi venont heir
website.Icanhel pyougett heirbankingdet ailsand
emai l
.”,shesaidwi thasmi le.Ihaveneverhear d
anyoneexpl ainsomet hingtomewi thsuchcar eand
pati
encei nt hei
rvoi ce.

Me:“
Thankyousomuch,
DR.Ihavecl
ear
lybeen
misl
edbymynei ghbourwhenhesaiditwoul
dcost
methousand.Iwasaf oolf
orbel
ievi
ngitt
oo”
,Isai
d
andfakedalaugh.

DRZim:“Nooneknowsever ythi
ng.Youatleastare
smartenoughtoaskwhatyoudonotknow.Iam
happytohelpaanotheryoungwomant akecontrol
ofherfut
ure”,
shesaidwithasmile.

Me:“ Thankyousomuch.Uhmm pl easedonott ell

myboyf r
iend.Iwantt osurpri
sehim whenIhaveal l
thenewdocument s.”
,Isaidwithafakesmi l
eonmy
face.IfBongaknewaboutt hi
sconversati
on,he
wouldki l
lmef orthinkingIam smarterthenhim,no
onecanbesmar t
ert hanthegreatBonga.Heeven
disagreedwi t
hdoct orsonoccasiononwhatwas
goodf orme.

DRZim:“I
tstaysourli
ttl
esecret
”,shesaidwhil
e
“zi
ppi
ng”herli
ps.“Whatdoeshedo, yourman”,she
askedwi
thcuriosi
ty.I
fonlysheknewt hatIdonot
knowtheanswer
.Af
terhel
efthi
sfact
oryj
ob,
Ido
notknowhowhemakeshismoney.

Me:“Hei
sasecur
ityguardatasteelf
act
ory”,Il
i
ed
andhat
edmysel
fforitbecauseshehashelpedme
somuch.

DrZim:“I
'm guessi
ngyoust
ayathome? ”
,she
askedandInodded.“Anyki
ds?”,
sheaskedabit
more.Ishookmyhead.Sheletoutasi
ghofreli
ef.

Me:“
Youseem pl
easedwi
tht
hesecondanswer
”

DrZim:“I
'm sorr
ytomakei tobviousbutIreal
lyam.
Youarenotwor ki
ng, yourboyfr
iendIpresumedoes
notgetmuch.Gogetyoureducat i
on,f
indworkor
star
tabusiness,perhapsencour agehimtogot o
schoolt
oof orbett
erjoboppor t
uniti
es.Onceyou
haveachievedthat,
getmar ri
edandt henhavekids.
Iknowli
fedoesnotal waysgoaccor di
ngtoorder,
buttrynottogetdistracted.Youseem l ikeawoman
withagoodheadonhershoul ders.Iwantyouto
getoutofthedr ugmani festedshackl i
fethat
causedyout ohaveaf r
actur edribandf i
ndabet
ter
placeforyourself
.NeverandImeanneverdepend
onaman.Iam sur etherear er easonsforyou
dependingonhi m now, butdonotl eti
tbea
permanentthings”,sheadvi sed.Whywasshenot
myol dersi
ster?

Me:“Idon'
twantt
odependonhi
mfor
everei
ther
.
Thankyousomuchforshowi
ngmeki
ndness,DR
Zi
m.

DrZim:“I'
m awomen' swoman.Toot herwomen
win,i
sawi ntomeaswel l.Well
,gi
rlsinceyouarea
homeexecutive”,
Ilaughedathowwel lshe
descri
bedmebei ngagoodf ornothi
ng.“What?!I
tis
whatwomenwhomant hehousear ecall
ed.Some
underest
imatetherole,butIcannotevenboilwater
soIrespectwomenl ikeyoursel
f”,
Ilaughedeven
mor
ewhi
chcausedpai
ninmyi
njur
edr
ib.

Me:“Youcannotboilwat
er?
”,shel
aughedand
cover
edherfacewit
hherhands.

DRZim:“It
ri
edtocookpapformyboyfr
iendandI
bur
ntthewater
.Poorguyhadtocookhi
mself”
,we
bot
hlaughedsomuch.

Me:“
Ifyouneedanyl
essons,
Iam avai
labl
e”,
Ijoked.

DRZi m:“Ohmygoodness, Ihavej usthadagood

i
dea.Ican'tcookandIwantt oknowhow, especi al
ly
thetradi
ti
onalXhosadishessi ncemyboyf riendi s
from rur
alEaster
nCape, soshoul dwegetmar r
iedI
don'twanttomakeanassofmysel fwhenIhavet o
domakot iduti
es.Herei
st heof f
er,MissPot i
.You
teachmehowt ocookonmyof fdaysandIpayyou,
thatwayyoucanr aisethemoneyf oryour
document sandfortheapplicati
onandr egistrati
on
foryouruni
ver
sit
yjourney.Whatdoyousay?
”,she
askedwithent
husiasm.

Me:“Uhmm. .
.”
,Bongawal
kedinbefor
eIcoul
dthi
nk
aboutanexcusetogi
vetothegooddoct
or.

Hecamewi thaf r
eshbunchoff lower sandki ssed
myf or
ehead.Tot heout si dewor l
dwewer eahappy
youngcoupl einl ovewi theachot her.Zimkitha
excusedher selfandl eftusal one.Atl easthecoul d
notdoanyt hingbecauseI '
M shar i
ngawar dwi t
h
fi
veot hers.DrZi m pi ckedt hr
ought hebl uecur t
ain
whichgavemepr i
vacyt ot el
lusshei saboutt o
si
gnmydi schar gef ormsanddi sappear edagai n.
Bongawassoexci ted.It houghthewoul dwhi sper
hurtfulthi
ngst omebuthewassweet ,toosweet
actually.HeaskedhowIwasf eeli
ng.Imademy
i
njur i
essoundwor set hant heywer e.Heapol ogized
andIdonotevenknowi fitwassi ncer e.Thenur se
helpedmet ot hebat hroom t obat h.Iputont he
cl
ot hesBongabr oughtaf terIwasdone.Wewal ked
tother eceptionar ea.Itcoul dnotkeepupwi thhi
m.
DrZi mt oldhimt owai tformei nthecar ,thatshe
woul dt ryt ogetawheel chai rf ormeandpushme
outher self.Hel istenedandwentout .Iguesshe
knewt hatIwoul dnotspeakt hetruth.The
wheel chai rcame, DRZi m gavemeanot herpacket
ofpills.“ Thiscoul dbet her emedyf oraheal thier
andbr ighterfut ure”,shesai dwhi l
eput ti
ngt hepills
i
nmyhand.Idi dnotunder st andwhatshemeant ,
butIt hankedherf orever yt
hi ng.Shehadt ogohel p
aseni ordoct orsosheaskedahospi talpor t
erto
pushmeout .Il ookedatt hewhi t
epl ast i
cpackand
reali
zedi twasnotpi ll
s,butsmal lpaper s.Itookit
outqui cklytol ookati t.Itwaspr i
ntout soft he
processIshoul dfollowt ogetmydocument sand
alsoherbusi nesscar d.If l
ippedt hecar dandatt he
backr ead“ YOUCANDOI T!!!”.Ismi led, putthe
paper sbacki nt hepacketandputi ti nmybr a.Her
offerwasagr eatonebutIcoul dnotaccepti t.
Bongacomeshomeatt hemostr andom moment s
attimesandi fhesomedayf oundmegonewhenhe
returns, allhellwoul dbr eakl ose.Bongast oppedus
andcamer unni ngt owar dsus.Het ol dt hepor ter
thathewoul dpushmet othecarandbr ingthe
wheelchairback.Hedi dnothaveacar ,soI'm
guessingthathebor r
owedi tfrom af ri
endofhi s,
oneoft hosegoodf ornothi
ngf riends.Wegoti nto
thecaranddr ovehomet oourf ourroom RDP
house.Iwassoexci t
edaboutt hepossi bil
it
yofme
getti
nganewI DandCer ti
fi
cate, butthewayt ogo
aboutgettingt hem wassor isky.Wegothomeand
expectedhi mt obringoutthemonst erthatheis,
buthedi dnot .Heputmeont hecouchandof f
ered
tomakemet ea.Hecamewi thi tandputi tbeside
meandknel tinf r
ontofme.

Bonga:“
Love,I'
m sor
ryforhurt
ingyout
oapoi
nt
whereyouhadtogot ohospit
al”,
hesai
dwhi
le
pl
anti
ngkissesonmyhands.

Me:“Iti
snotthefi
rstt
imeyouhurtmetoapoi nt
whereIhadtoseekmedicalhel
p.Thef
ir
sttimewas
whenyoukickedmyabdomensomucht hatit
causedatearinmywombandbecauseoft hatIwil
l
neverbeabl
etocarr
ychildrent
ofullt
erm,yesyou
havegonewaytofarthi
st i
me,Bonga.Youareno
bett
erthant
hedevi
lIranawayf r
om backathome”

Bonga:“Wel laboutthewomb, thereareother

opti
ons.Wegetanot herwomant ocarryourbabi
es.
Ifi
rsthavetosavebecausei tisnotcheapbutmy
focusnowi ssavi ngforyourIDandCer ti
fi
cate
again.I'
m sorryforburningthem inthef i
rstpl
ace.I
j
ustf ear
edthatyouwoul dleavemef oraneducated
manwhenyouar eeducat ed.I
'vegottenR2000so
far,
soonIwi l
lhaveenough.

Me:“YouthinkI'
m afoo..
.”
,Icutmyselfshor
tbefore
Icouldfi
nishspeaki
ng.“Youmakeaf oolofme
becauseyouwi l
lusethatmoney.Icannotli
vel
ike
thi
s,Bonga.Rathergi
vemet hatmoneysoIcoul d
gobackhome”

Bonga:“
Iwi
llchange,
Ntombi.Iwi
llgoseekhel
pto
hel
pmewi t
hmyanger .Thi
spainofbeingan
orphani stoomuchandIam sti
llangr
yatmyf ather
forkil
li
ngmymot herandt
henhimself
.Iwi
llgoget
help.Pleasedonotleaveme”
,hesaidwhil
ebur yi
ng
hisfaceinmyl egsandwept.

Me:“Thi
sisthel
astchance,
Bonga.Iwil
lnotwai
t
f
oryout odotomewhatyourfat
herdidyour
mother.

Bonga:“Never!,I
'm nott
hatmonster
.Iloveyoutoo
mucht okil
lyou.I'm si
ck,Nt
ombiandIneedyout o
hel
pmeheal .Youar emyonlyhope.Pl
easedon't
l
eave,baby.I'l
ltr
ymybestt ochange.
”,hesaid
si
ncerelyandapar tofmebel i
evedhi
m.

Tot hinkt hatIalmosttoldhim Iknowaboutt hereal

pricesoft hedocument s.Iaccepthi
sapol ogypart
ly,
Iwi llacceptitful
lyoncehet ellsmet het
ruthand
thengi vemet hemoneyt ogodowhatIIwant .He
kissedmewi thhistobaccobr eat
h.Itmademewant
tot hrowup.Howdi dIt oler
ateital
ltheseyears?His
handswer eal lovermybodyf orthef i
rstt i
meaf t
er
aver ylongt i
me.Thet houghtofhi m havi ngsex
wi t
hmedi sgust edmeevenmor e.Thet houghtof
sexwi thanyonewasnotappeal i
ngact ual ly.I
pretendl i
keIwasi nal otofpai n.Ifearedt hathe
woul dforcehi msel fonme.I thasneverhappened
butIhaver eadst ori
esaboutwomenbei ngr apedby
theirpartner s.Hest oppedandsai dhei sgoi ngt o
buysomef i
shandchi psar oundt hecor ner .Shoul d
Ibegl adt hathei satl eastnotar apist?It ookhi s
teaandpor edi tinthepotpl antont opofourcof fee
table.Hisapol ogysoundedsi ncere,butitdoesnot
meant hatIcant rusthi m again.Her eallydi dhavea
toughupbr i
ngi ng.Tol ivewi ththepai nofknowi ng
yourmot herdi edbecauseofyourdadi senought o
traumat i
seantchi l
d.Icannotl eavehi m nowt hat
hei swi l
li
ngt oseekhel p.Maybehewi l
lbet hewel l
putt ogetherBongahewasbef orethedr inking,
smoki ng, cheat i
ngandabuse.Wear ebot hf r om
brokenhomesandsot hatmakesusbot hbebr oken
beings.Cant wobr okenpeopl ehealeachot her ?So
faritseemsmor edamager atherthanheal inghas
beendone.Per hapshi m seeki nghel pist hef ir
st
stephealingfrom hi
spastt
raumasandheal
ingour
relat
ionship.
[
03/
28,
11:
14]Lynne:Thr
ee

Nt
ombi
Ithasbeenamont hsincet hatter r
ibl
eor deal.My
bodyhasheal edabout90%nowandIcanf inallydo
choresar oundt hehouset okeepmysel fbusy.
Therei speaceathomesi nce,andIt hinkt hatt hings
arebegi nningt ogobackt onor mal .Bongaat tends
asuppor tgroupf ormenwhoabused/ abuset heir
partners.Menwhor egreteverl yingahandont hei
r
l
adies.Imustsayt hereisal otofchangei nhi s
behavi oursi ncehest artedgoi ngt othei rmeet ings.
Hehashi smoment sofbecomi ngangr y,but
i
nsteadofhi tt
ingmel ikehedi dbef ore,hegoesout
tocoolof fandr et
urnwhenhei sgoodagai n.He
hasal sot r
iedt ogetmet obei nti
mat ewi thhima
fewt i
mes, butIdonotwantt o.Inol ongerhave
suchdesi r
esf orhim.Wesl eepi nthesamebedand
thelackofi nti
macyhasnotbot her edeitherofus.I
don'twanttobet ouchedi nt
henameofl ovebythe
samehandst hatbeatmeandhedi dnotwantt o
sl
eepwi thsomeonewi t
hnor hythm i
nbed.I twasa
win-winsit
uation.Ihavebeencomi ngupwi th
excuseseveryt i
mehet riedhisl
uck.Ithoughtthat
nowwoul dbeagoodt i
met otel
lhimthatIknew
aboutthecostofget ti
ngmenewr epl
acement
document s.Hecameoutoft heroom alr
eady
dressedtogot owor k.

Me:“
Bonga”
,het
urnedt
urnedt
ofaceme.

Bonga:“
MyEver
ythi
ng”
,hesai
dwi
thasmi
leand
ki
ssedme.

Me:“ Thepr i
cesforanIDandMat r
icCer
tif
icate
havel oweredsincethelastt
imeyousawit”,Isai
d
i
nawhi sper.HeclenchedhisjawandIknewIhad
pressedabut ton.
Bonga:“Andaknownothi
ngl i
keyouknowsthat
how?”,hesai
dinandagit
atedtoneofvoi
ce.

Me:“Wil
litdi
dnottakemuchf
ort
henamecal
li
ngt
o
st
art
”,Imumbl edt
omyself
.

Bonga:“
What
?”,
hesai
dwhi
lehol
dinghi
sear
.

Me:“ Isawanewspaperar ti
clei
noneoft he
newspaperIwasusi ngt owi pet
hewindows.The
totali
slessthenR500, inst
eadoftheoldpriceof
thousandofr ands”
.Hel ookedatmef orawhile
withoutsayi
ngawor d.Ithoughthecouldsmellmy
l
ies.

Bonga:“WellIdonotevenhaveR100onmyname.I
cannotborrowmoneybecauseIam al r
eadyin
deepdebt.Youwi llhavet
owai tt
owaitunti
lIam
sort
ed.Betweenr ent,f
ood,t
ranspor
tanddebt sI
havenothi
ng; l
eftofmypay” ,hesai
dwhiletaking
outt
hei
nsi
deofhi
spocket
s.

Me:“ Icouldalwaysgoandl ookf

oracleaningj
ob.
Usual l
yt heydonotwantIDandMat r
iccopiesf
or
those.”,Isaidwi
thsli
ghtexcit
ementbecauseI
alr
eadyhadawayt orai
sethemoney.

Bonga:“
Isai
dIwi
llgi
vei
ttoyou.Justwai
tawhi
le
l
onger”

Me:“
Okay”
,Isai
dpr
etendi
ngt
obel
ievehi
sli
es.

Sindi
:“Chomee!
”,sheshout
edf
rom out
sidebef
ore
sheappearedonourdoor.

Me:“
Hel
lo,
Sindi
swa”
,Isai
dwi
thasmi
le.

Bonga:“
Sindi
”,hesai
dinannoyance.
Sindi:“
Friend,Ihavecomet oaskyouf orahuge
favour.I
tisregistr
ati
ondayatuni ver
sit
yandIdo
notwantt ostandinthosel ongl
inesalone.Pl
ease,
comewi t
hme.Ihavef oodpackedsowewon' t
starve”
,shebegged.Il ookedatBonga.

Bonga:“Didn'tyousayyouwereinpai
n?”
,heasked
whilel
ookingatme.Thet houghtofmehavi
ng
fr
iendsfreakedhim outf
orareason.

Sindi:“Takeyourpainmedici
ne,Ialsoknowt hat
fr
eshhai risanaturalpai
nreli
ever.Pr
ettypl
ease
don'tletmesufferi
nt hosel
inesalone.I'
l
levengo
onmykneesi fneedbe” ,
shereall
ykneltdown
beforeme.

Bonga:“
Ifyounolongerf
eel
pai
n,youcangowi
th
her
”,hesaidsoundi
ngunsur
eofhi
swords.
Me:“Real
ly?”
,Isai
dwi
thexci
tement
,toomuch
exci
tement.

Sindi
:“Notl
ikeyouneededhisper
missionanyway”
,
shelookedatBongaandroll
edhereyes.

Me:“
Letmegogetdr
essed”

Iwasal mosthoppi ngt othebedroom inhappi ness.

Icannotr emembert helastt
imeIwasout .Wel lI
wil
lbest andinginlineforhoursonendbutIwi llnot
beinthishouse.Iwor eadecentlookingdr ess.
Dressesar eallt
hatIwearandver yoversi
zedones
atthatbecauseBongabuysmycl ot
hes.Hedoes
notwantmet owearwhatot herpeoplemyage
wear.Iti
edmyaf roinabun, putvaselineonmyl i
ps
andmademywayt ot hedoor.

Bonga:“Idonotl
ikethi
sfri
endshi
pwiththi
sgi
rl
.
Shewilltur
nyouintoaloosegi
rlwhenyouhangout
wit
hhertoomuch.Thi
sisthel
astt
imeyougo
somewherewi
thher”
,hesaidi
nathreat
eni
ngt
one.

Me:“
Okay”,
Isai
dtryi
ngt
oavoi
dsayi
ngt
hingst
hat
mi
ghtleadt
oanargument
s.

Bonga:“
Iloveyou”

Me:“
Met
oo”
,Il
ied.

Si
ndi:“
Ntombikayi
se,letusgowhileiti
ssti
llear
ly,
sowecanreturnquickly”
,sheshoutedfr
om the
l
ounge.

Il
eftBongastandi ngt
her eandmademywayt oher
.
Wewal kedtoherhome, whichwast hreehouses
awayfrom ours,alsoandRDPbutonet hatwas
nowbiggerthant heothers.Itwassobeaut i
ful
i
nsideandneat .Shetoldmet hatIcoul
dnotgoout
withherl ooki
ngl i
keagr anny,especi
all
ynotsi nce
therewi l
lbealotofhotvar sit
yguys.Shei smuch
slenderthanmesohercl ot
heswoul dbetoosmal l
forme.Shewentt oanotherroom andshout edfor
met of ol
lowher .Idi
dandwal kedint
oayel l
ow
paintedbeautifulbedroom.Her sisbeauti
fultoobut
notlikethisone.

Sindi
:“Thi
sismybi gsi st
er’
sr oom.Sheisstudying
farsoshewillnotmi ndusbor rowi
ngherclothes.I
thi
nkherclot
heswi llfi
ryou”,shesaidwhil
epul l
ing
thesidesofmydr essmaki ngithugmybody.

Me:“Bongawi
llnotl
iket
his.Heisaruralboyand
pr
efershi
swomeni ndecentcl
othes”

Sindi:“Fi
rstl
y,heisnotthebossofyou, secondl
y
wewi l
lgobycar ,
thir
dlyitisasinthatyouare
hi
di ngthesecurves.Iwillnotmakeyoudr essli
kea
st
r eetgir
l,Ir
espectyout oomuchandmysi ster
doesnothavesuchcl othing.IhopeBongaisnot
thosemenwhowantadecentgi r
lathomeand
cheatwithgir
lswhowearthecl
otheshef
orbi
dsyou
from weari
ngorevenworse.

Me:“
Okay,l
etmeseewhatshehas” ,
Isai
dtr
yingt
o
st
opherfr
om speaki
ngaboutBonga.

Shet ookoutaf ewcl othi

ngi t
ems.Hersi st erhad
realst yleandat ouchofel egancetoo.It riedona
fewoft hecl ot
hesandt heyf i
tli
keagl ove.If eltso
beaut iful,Ihaveneverf el
tbeaut i
ful.Weset t
ledf or
blackhi ghwai stedj eansandar edt op.Ilookedat
mysel fint hemi rrorandr eali
zedthatIst illhadmy
cur ves.Thecl othesbr oughtthem outsobeaut iful
ly.
Sindicoul dnotst opcompl ement i
ngme, sayi ngshe
willst artdoi ngsquat stogetaper f
ectbehi ndl i
ke
mi ne.Wef inal
lyf i
nishedaf t
erherdadhadbeen
wai ti
ngf orusf orsuchal ongwhi l
enow.Seei ng
Sindi '
sf atherr emi ndedmeofmyownf ather .Imi ss
him somuchbutIam sur eIam asgoodasdeadt o
him af terwhatIhaddonet ohi m.Wef inallyar r
ived
atUWC, Ihaveneverseensomanypeopl eatone
placei nmyl i
f e.Young, beaut i
fulpeopl e.Af ewguys
keptont urningt heirheadswhenwepassedt hem
andI 'm sur eal lt
heat tenti
onwasf orSi ndi swa.She
askedar oundandwef i
nall
yst oodi nt hecor rect
l
ine.Ican' twai tuntilIam theoner egi stering.Si ndi
saidIcanappl yforthesecondsemest erifIdon' t
wantt owai tunt i
lnextyear .Af ewguyst ri
edt hei r
l
uckonmeandIcoul dnotbel ieveot hermennot i
ce
me.Af terbei ngt oldIam ugl ybyNomvul aandt hen
Bongat hemi ndbel ievedit.Ili
kedt heat tent i
onbutI
didnotal lowmysel ftobechar med.Thedaywent
onwel landSi ndimanagedt ogetal lhert hings
done, shewasf i
nallyaf i
rstyearst udentatUWC.
Herexci tementr ubbedof fonmeandIal sogot
excited.ShegavemeR100t othankmef orgoi ng
withher .Iaccept edi t
,Ihadevenf orgot t
enwhat
howmoneyf el ti
nt hehand.Iwi llhavemyown
savingsandnotbot herBonga.I twasagoodday,
fi
lledwi thl aught erandmeet i
ngnewpeopl e.Icoul d
notevent aket henumber softhegr oupofgi rlsthat
wemetbecauseIhadnophone.Atl eastSi ndiwi ll
havepeopl et ohangoutwi thatschool .Poorgi rls
thoughtt hatIwi llal sobeat tendi ngcl assnextweek
andnei therSi ndinorIcor rectedt hem.Si ndi'
sfat her
camet opi ckusupagai n.Ichangedi ntomy
over si
zeddr ess, thankedSi ndif oragooddayand
l
ef t.I'
m gl adwewer eabl et ocomehomear ound
thesamet imeIusual l
ycookdi nner .Iwast i
red, but
Igat her edt hest rengt ht opr epar edi nner .Ihummed
Lira's“FEELGOOD”whi lechoppi ngveggi es.My
happi nessdi dnotl astl ong.Bongast ormedi ntot he
house, almostbr eaki ngt hedoorandpushedme
agai nstt hewal l.Hi shandt i
ghtenedar oundmy
neckashehel dmeupagai nstt hewal l
.Iwast rying
mybestt ohi thisar mi nor dert of reemysel ffrom
hisgr ip, butf ail
ed.Iwasst ruggl ingt obr eath,I
becameweakerbyt hesecond.I 'm sur et oni
ght
woul dbet hedayt hismanwi l
lki l
lme, Ithoughtt o
mysel f.Hel oosenedhi sgr ipandf lashedhi sphone
i
nmyf ace.Iwasgr eet edbyapi ct ur eofme
standi ngwi thoneoft hevar si
tyguyswhower e
tryingmyl uck.

Bonga:“
Iknewyouwer
easl
ut.Youar
eeven
wearingtheclothesonlyasl utwouldwear .Youcan
fogetaboutgetti
ngmoneyf rom met opayHome
Affai
rs,Iwil
lnotpayf oryout ogobeal ooset hing
atthatdamnuni versi
ty”,
heshout edinmyf ace.His
breathami xt
ureofbeerandt obacco.Icouldeven
feelt
hel i
tt
ledroplet
sofsalivahitmyf acewhi lehe
spoke.

Me:“ Youwouldknowwhatal oosegi rldresseslike

becauseyoulaywi ththem.Iwasnotexpect i
ngyou
togivememoneyanyway.Doyout hinkt hatI
bel
ievedasinglewor dthatcomesfr om yourr ott
en
mout h?Ihat
eyou, Bonga”,Isai
dbravel y.Idonot
knowwher eIgotthecour agetosayal loft hatbutit
wasoutandal lIcandonowi swaitf orthe
consequences.

Bonga:“
Thatboygaveitt
oyousogoodthatyou
nowhavethegutstospeakt
omeli
kethat.Wasthe
sexsogood,Ntombi?
”
Het oremydr essopeni nhal f,hedidi twi thsuch
ease, onewoul dsweari thadani nvinci blezip.He
l
ickedmyneckandIhaveneverbeenmor e
disgust ed.TheR100t hatIputi nmybr aflewout
andl andedont hefloor .Hecl aimedt hati twasf rom
thatguyIwasi nt hepi ctur ewi thpayingmef ormy
sexualser vices.Hesl appedmeaf ewt i
mesand
cont inuedt or unhi sfilthyf ingersovermybody.I
knewt hathewasaboutt of orcehimsel fonme.I
foughthi m of fbutthatseemedt oonl yputf uelon
thef ire.Heunzi ppedhi spant sandf or cedhi s
tonguei ntomymout h,itf eltli
keIwasi nmyown
per sonalhel l.Iwasnotonl ygoi ngt obeavi cti
m of
emot ionalandphysi calabuse, butonl yavi ctim of
rape.Idon' tevenhavehappyt hought st hatIcoul d
thinkaboutt oescapemyr ealit
y.Ther ewas
suddenl yal oudannoyi ngknock.Hest oppedwhen
her eal izedt hati twashi sdr unkloudf riends.Bonga
woul ddoj ustaboutanyt hingf orhisgoodf or
not hingf r
iends.Het oldmet ogot ot her oom and
getdr essed.Ir anoutoft her easqui ckl yasIcoul d.
Imi ghthavebeenabl et ogetf r
eethi st i
mear ound
butIknowt hatIwi l
lnotal waysbesol ucky.Igott o
ther oom, lockedt hedoorbehi ndmeandIwept .
Soont her ewassomuchnoi seont heot hersi deof
thedoor .Itwasl ouddeepvoi ces, gir
lsandl oud
musi c.Iwasbackt osquar eone, Inol ongerhave
money.Isatont hef loorandIgaveuponever
gettingoutofher e.Asi def rom nothavi ngmoney,
I'
m notgoi ngt obot herSi ndiwi t
hmyt r
oubleswhen
shei sgoi ngt hroughsuchahappyphaseIherl i
fe.I
willsuf ferinsi l
encel ikeIhavesi nceIwasachi ld.
Thismomentofmyl ifei scalled“ GIVINGUP” .
Givinguponl i
feitsel f.Iwentt omydr awert ot ake
painkillers.Ilookedatt hefullcont ainerofpillsand
allofmewant edt ot aket hem andj ustdie.Itook
them onebyonewi thoutwat er,evenchewedsome
toqui ckent heprocess.Igotmostdownandl ai don
mybackwai t
ingfort hem t owor k.Ifeltdrowsyf ast
.
Myeyeswer ebegi nni ngt ocl oseandt henoi sehas
startedt of adeofi nt oadi stance.Imustadmi t, t
he
givingupmomentf eltgoodi naway.Knowi ngt hat
soonIwoul dbef reef rom thebur denst hisli
fehas
givenmewassat isfyi ng.Ihear daknockont he
doorbef oreIpassedout .
[
03/
28,
11:
14]Lynne:FOUR
Bonga
Ican'tbel i
evet hatIal lowedmysel ftobeper suaded
byawomant ogot osomemeet i
ngwher eallthose
mendoi scryt earsofr egret.Hadi tnotbeenf ormy
fri
endswhor emi ndedmet hatI '
m amanandshoul d
actlikeoneI '
dst il
lbeont hej ourneyofweakness.I
am aman.Iear nedt hatt i
tl
ewhenIwentt othe
mount ai
nyear sago.Howcoul dIal l
owNt ombit o
mani pulatemei nt ositti
ngwi t
hboysanddi scuss
myi ssues.I 'm notanabuser ,I'm notmyf at
her .Had
Ibeenl i
kehi m Nt ombiwoul dhaveanewbr uiseon
herbodyeachdayasmymot herhad.I thurtmet o
seemymot hersuf ferbecauseofmydr unkofa
father.Herdeat hhi tmehar d.Idon' tcareaboutt he
deathoft hatbast ardwhoki lledhereveni fhei smy
father.IfIcoul dI'dgot owher ethedeadgoandki ll
him.Idon' tl
ikehur tingNt ombi ,Ilovet hedamngi rl
somuch.Butsheal waysmakesmehi theroruse
hurtfulwor ds.It'slit
tlethingst hatshedoest hatset
meof fandbef oreIknowI '
vehur ther .Igetangr y
whenshedoesnotcook, Igetangr ywhensheasks
formoneyf oruni ver si
ty,Igetangr ywhenshecal ls
myf r
iendsgoodf ornot hings.Ifshest opspushi ng
mybut tonsI '
dbegoodt oher .Atl eastIknowt hat
shecan' tleavemebecauseshehasnowher eelse
togo.I 'm sur eherpar ent swoul dchaseheraway
l
ikeadog.Wedependoneachot her.Iknowt hatI
willneverhi thert oapoi ntwher eherhear tstops
beat i
ng.Thel astincidentscar edme, I'
veneverhi t
hert oapoi ntwher eshebl ed.Iwantt ost op, butshe
doesn' trespectmeashermanandf oragi rlwho
comesf rom t herur alareawher ewomenki sst he
groundmenwor konyou' dthinksheknowsbet t
er.
Wel lattimesshef orgetsandIast hemanoft he
housewi l
lkeepr emi ndingherofherpl ace.Ican' t
l
ivewi thouther ,par tsofherr emi ndsmeofmy
mot her.Ihadmyf r
iendsandsomegi rlsoveratt he
house.Theyhadnowher etogosoIwasnotabout
toturnt hem away.Thesemenar emypar tner sin
cri
me, li
terally.Wesel lti
kandweedf orourNi geri
an
drugl ord.ThemoneyImadewhenIwasasecur i
ty
wasnot hing.NowIhaveahouseandl ivi
nga
decentenoughl i
fe.Nt ombicanf orgetaboutt he
moneyf orherdocument s.Ididnotgot hroughal l
thatt r
oubl etodest roythem onl yt oreplacet hem.
Herbehavi ourt odaypr ovedt hatshewoul dl eave
met hesecondshesmel ledindependence.Idi dn'
t
haveherf oll
owedbutIknowpeopl e.Mybest
fri
end' sli
ttl
ebr otherwentt heret oappl ytooandhe
couldnotbel ieveNt ombil ookedso" sexy".Sosexy
thathehadt ot akeapi ctur eandcompl i
mentmeon
thebeaut yIgett otouch.Iwasnotgoi ngt or apeher.
I'
m al otoft hingsbutar apisti snotoneoft hem.I
want edt oscar eherandIknowt hatIsucceeded.
NowIhavet omakesur esheneverseest hat
anor exicSindigi r
lagain.Myboysandt heir
companywer ehungr y,soIwentt ogetNt ombit o
prepar esomemeat .Iturnedt hedoornoband
foundt hedoorl ocked.Myangerr oseonceagai n.
Shedoesn' tpayadamnt hingi nt hishouseyet
thinksshehast her i
ghttol ockdoor s.Ibangedon
thedooel oudl y,shehadbet ternotembar rassmei n
frontoft heguys.Idon' tmi ndherdi srespect ingme
whenwe' real one, butshewi lleatdi rtifshedoesi t
event hegangi sar ound.Iknockedasl oudas
possi ble,nor eply.It ol
dherI '
dcountt ot hreeandi f
shehasnotopenedt hedoor , I
'dbr eaki topenand
allhellwillbreakl ose.SeewhatImeanbyshe
makesmeahor ribl
eperson?Icount edtothreeand
therewasst i
llsi
lenceont heothersideofthedoor.
Itri
edaf ewt imest obreakthedooropenunt i
lit
fi
nallyf l
ungopen.Ican' tbel
ievethebi t
chis
sleepingwhenwehaveguest s.Vusi,myfri
end
camei n.Nt ombil ai
dont hebedwi thjustger
underwear .Iquicklycoveredher.
Vusi
:"Maybeyoushoul dshar
esomeoft hatsi
nce
you'
reti
redofit"
,heslur
redbecausehewasdrunk.
Myjawcl enchedoutofanger
.
Me:" IfIeverhearyousaythatagain,Imi
ghtjust
forgetthatyou'r
emyboy" ,Isai
dwhi l
epoi
ntinga
fi
ngerathi m.Imi ghtnotwantt
ot ouchNtombi
sexual l
y,becausesheissoboringinbedbutthe
thoughtofanot hermanhavinghermakesmybl ood
boil.Itr
iedtoshakeherawakebutnosuccess.
Vusi:"Sl
apthebitchawake.Sheneedst omakethat
porkwel ovesomuch.Ar eyouaf r
aidt
oshowher
whoi sboss.Mychi ckknows,Isayjumpandshe
hastoaskhowhi gh"Ihat
edshowi ngweaknessi
n
fr
ontofanot herman,andwhatNt ombiisdoi
ng
makesmel ookli
keamanwhocan' thandlehis
woman.Isl appedhercheekandexpect edhert o
j
umpup, butnothi
ngandIr ealizedthatsomet hi
ng
i
swr ong.Iputmyf inger sagainstherneckand
coul
dnotf eelapulse.Ist ar
tedt opanick.Ishook
heragainbutshewasl ikear agdoll.Vusipickedup
anempt ytablebott
le,itwasherpai nmedi ci
ne.That
bott
leshouldstil
lbeful l
,Ishoul dknowbecauseI '
m
theonewhocol lect
st hem from ourl ocalcli
nic.
Me:"No, No, Nodammi t
, Ntombikayi se"
,Ishout ed
whenIr ealizedthatshehasover dosed.IknowI '
m
noteasyt ol i
vewi t
hbutt ochooset odi et henlive
withmei sweak.Iwr appedt hefleecebl anket
around,pickedherupandr ushedt oanycart hat
waspar kedi ntheyar d.Theguysneverl ockt heir
cars,soIknewal lwer eopen.Mydr unkandhi gh
guestsfollowedmeoutl ooki ngconf usedand
annoyed."Keys? !",Ishout ed.Theowneroft hecarI
chose,Lujasear chedhi spocket sinpani c.Hef ound
them andt hrewt hem myway.Iwasabi tdr unkbut
i
fIdon'ttakehermysel f
, shewi l
ldie.Iwasbot h
angryandscar ed.Igoti ntothecarandspedof f.
Wef inall
ygottot hehospi t
alandIr anwhi l
e
carryi
ngheri nside.Ishoutedforhel pandtomy
surprisewegothel pqui ckl
y.Usuallyinstate
hospitalsonealmosthast obegf orhelp.Theyt
ook
heraway, Ifoll
owedbutt hatyoungdoct orwho
helpedt r
eathert helastti
mest oppedmeonmy
tr
acks.
DrZim:"
Whathappened?Itcan'
tbeherinj
uri
es
causi
ngherprobl
ems"
,shesaidalmostasthough
shewasaccusingmeofsomethi
ng.
Me:"Shet ookpainkillers,anent ir
ebot t
le"
, Isaid
tr
yingtohol dbackmyt ears.Idon' twanthert odie.
DrZim:" Oh, Nt
ombiwhat 'swr ong? ",shemumbl ed
toherself.Givemet hatempt yt abletcont ai ner.You
sayshet ookaf ullbottleofit? "
,sheasked, Inodded
andgavehert hebot tle."Wai there, wewi lldoour
best",
sheaddedbef or erunni ngof fdi sappear ing
i
nt ooneoft her ooms.Isatdown, brushedmy
handst ogetherandt henr ubbedt hem onmyhead.I
didn'
tknowwhatt odowi t
hmysel f .Ievensober ed
up."Iwillchange, Iwi l
lchange.Justdon' tleaveme" ,
Isaidwhi lescratchingmyheadvi gor ouslyl i
kea
madman.Peopl einthewai t i
ngareawer elooki
ngat
mel ikeI'
m crazy.Ican'tloseanot herwomanwhom
Ilove,mymot herwasonet oomanyl oses.Isl eep
aroundwi thwhor esbutIl oveNt ombi .Maybeeven
toapoi ntofslightobsessi on.Hourswentbyandi t
feelsli
keIhavebeenwai ti
ngsi ncefor ever."
No
newsi sgoodnew" ,Itr
iedt oconvincemysel f.Had
shebeendeadt heywouldhavet oldmebynow, so
i
tmeanst heyar esti
llwor kingonher .Mor eand
mor ehour swentbywhent heyoungdoct orfi
nally
appear ed.Ij
umpedupf r
om myseatandwentt o
her.Me:" Howi sshe? "
DrZi
m:"
Ali
ve,
butweak"
,sher
epl
ied.
Me:"I
'l
lgoseeher
",Isai
dwal ki
ngtot
hedir
ect
ion
shecamefrom.Shestoppedmei nmytr
acksand
l
ookedatme,averycoldlook.
DrZim:"Thepati
entneedsrest
.Thepsychi
atr
isti
s
st
il
lwit
hher.Isuggestyoucomebacktomorrow"
Me:"
Ijustwantt
ose.
.."
DrZim:"
Isai
dthepati
enti
srest
ing.Youcanonl
y
seeherl
atet
omorrow.Youcansleepher
ebut
you'
renotseei
ngher
."
,shesai
dcut
ti
ngmeshor
t.
Me:List
en,youdamncow.Iwi
llgoseeher
whet
her.
..
"
DrZim:Bonga, youdon' tfri
ght enmeonebi t.Iknow
menl ikeyou.Idon' tknowwhatyoudi dtoher ,
butI
willf
indoutanduseal lmyper suasionpowert o
convincehert omakeyoupay.Shewashur tbutnot
suici
dal .Shewast ooexci tedaboutherf utur etokill
herself.Yourener gyf eelsdar kandIknowyouar e
responsi bl
e.Li keI'vesai d,bully.I'
m notaf raidof
you", shesai dwhi l
el ookingmest raightint heeyes,
notasi ngl
esi gnoff ear.I'
veneverseent hatina
woman' seyes.Iwasangr ysoIwal kedawaybef ore
Icoulddosomet hingbadt oher .I'
m sur eNt ombi
toldhersomeofourper sonali ssues, butIdoubti t.
She'st ooaf r
aid, I'
m sogl adt hatshe' snotl i
ket his
ri
chZi m womanwhodoesn' tknowt hataman
shouldber espect ed.Tomor rowI 'l
lbeher ebef ore
shecanbr ainwashNt ombii ntot hi
nkingwomencan
speakt oamanast heywi sh.Ican' taffordf or
Ntombit ohavedi srespect f
ulci t
ygirlmanner s.I'
m
gladshe' salive, nowIhavet omakesur et omor row
shegetsoutofthi
splace.Ineedadr inkandagood
ti
mewithsomesexyt hingtoletoutthebad
emoti
onsI'mfeeli
ng.TomorrowI '
llgetmywoman
andnofeministri
chdoctorwil
lstandi nmyway.
.
NTOMBI
Icamet oinahospi t
alroom andr eali
zedt hatIhave
notdied.Bongadoesn' twantme, butheal so
doesn'twantmet ogo.Whataconf usedman!Iwas
awaket hrought heentireprocessoft hest omach
pumpi ng.Itwasnotpai nf ul
,orper hapsi t'
sbecause
thepainitcauseddi dn'tcompar etothatmyhear t
wasf eeli
ng.Theyal sogavemesomet hingthat
mademevomi t.Myt hroatissor e.HadIknownI '
d
survi
veIwoul dnothavebot hered.Thosepi l
lswere
weakIguess.Thepsychi atr
isthasbeent ryi
ngto
getmet ospeakt ohersi ncethedoct oral l
owedher
i
nmyr oom, Ididn't
.Ifelttooempt yandashamed.
DrZim want edtogetBongat oseeme, butI
stoppedher .I
twasasi fshehadr ealized
somet hi
ng.Shedi dn'task, j
ustnoddedandwent
out.Theladyf i
nallygaveupt ryi
ngt ogetmet o
openupandl eftmeal one.Thenur sewoul dcome
i
never yot hermi nute.Theyf earthatImi ghthur t
mysel f
,Iguess.Ist aredatt hecei l
ingwhenIhear d
thecur t
aiopen.DrZi m camei ntalki
ngi nt he
softestvoiceever .Isweart hisgirlli
vesatt his
hospital
.Shej ustst oodbesi deme, i
nsi lence.Her
armswer ear oundmesoonenough.Idi dn'tmove
andshedi dn'tspeak.Thel evelofcomf or tIfeltin
thatmomentt ookmebackt omymot her '
shugs.
Youknowt hosehugswher eyouf eelsaf e?I twas
oneoft hose.I ttookmebackt othever yl it
tle
memor i
esIhaveofmyl atemot her.Idon' t
remembermuchaboutherbuthowIf eltwhenshe
wasar oundwi llforeverbei nmymemor y.Nott hat
Zim'shugwast hesame, noone' shugcoul dbel ike
mymot her'sbuti twassi milarinthatithadwar mt h.
Ifeltt
earsr olldownt hesideofmyf ace, hitti
ngt he
pil
low.Ihadavoi dinmyhear t,ahugeone.
DrZim:"Thisisnothowi t'
ssupposedt oend,
Ntombi.Idon'tknowwhatyou' r
egoingt hr
ough,but
i
tisnotwor t
hyout akingyourownlife.Idi
dn'
tseeit
befor
e,butnowI 'm cert
aiyourboyf
ri
endhas
somethingtodowithit.NowIsuspectt hatheput
youinhospitalt
hefi
rstti
met oo.Ther
ei splent
yof
hel
p,allyouneedtodoi saskplease"
,shesaid
sof
tl
y.
Me:" Iwasatt
ackedbyt hugsthefi
rstti
meandI
tr
iedt oki
llmysel
fbecausemyf atherdi
sownedme,
mymot heri
sdeadandIhavehadt owitnessa
neighborgotoschoolwheni tshouldhavebeenme.
Tellyourminddoctorthat"
,Isai
dinawhi sper
.
DrZim:"I'
m notsureifyou'
ret
ryingtoconvince
yoursel
forme, butI
'm notf
ooled.Parentsdon'
t
stayangryatthei
rkidsforl
ong.Iwillgi
veyoubus
moneyandyoucangohomeandf ixthingswit
h
them.I'
m su..
."
Me:" Haveyoueverbeenst abbedwithafor
kfor
discipli
ningyoursister?Haveyoueverhadt osleep
i
naf leeinfest
eddoghousebecauseyoucame
homeami nut
epastcur f
ew?Haveyoueverhadt o
wat chpeopl eeatinfrontofyouwhileyou'
re
starving?Haveyoueverbeenhi ttoapointwhere
youst i
llhavethescarstoshowf ori
t?Haveyou
everhadnosuppor twhenyout ryt
ocr yf
orhelp?
Haveyoueverl ostamot hertodeath?Thoseare
j
ustaf ewoft heevi
lsI'
veendur edathome."
,Isai
d
whil
est i
lll
ookingattheceil
ing.Icoul
dnotsee
anyt
hingbecauset hetearsblurredmyvisi
on.
DrZi m:"
No,butIhadnoide.
.."Me:" Thi
ngsaren't
alwaysblackandwhit
e,Doc.Therear egreyar
eas
too.I'
veneverhadahome.I'
m notlikeyou.Don'ttr
y
tofixwhatyoudonotunderstand.Pleasego.I
'm
ti
red.
DrZi m:"I'm sorr
yf orspeakingwhenIdon' teven
knowhal foft hedemonsyoubat tl
ewi th.Ido..."Me:
"Pleasego, DrZimki t
ha.",
Ishout ed.Shewi pedher
tearsof f,apologizedagainandl eftmeal one.
Doesn' tshegeti t?Thehel pshet alksabouti sf or
peopl eofhercl ass.Shecan' tunder standwhatI '
m
goingt hrough, shenevercoul d.I'm sureshehas
herbaddaysbutt hoseareni celif
epr oblems.I
appr eciat
ehert r
yingtohel p,butI'
llbeokay.I
turnedonmysi deandcr i
edsof tl
y.Ithoughtabout
allthepai nIhaveendur ed.Ireali
zedt hatIhave
beenhur tsinceIwassi xyearsol dwhenmydad
mar riedagai n.Ican'tspeakup, noonewi llli
sten.I
didn'tgivemydadt hebenef itofdoubt
, butIknow
thecont rolNomvul ahadonhi m.Idon'tevenknow
i
fhe' sst i
llalive.TosayI '
m sadi san
under statement .PeoplelikeZim havehappyl if
e,
withoccasi onalbaddays.Peopl eli
kemej usthave
baddays." You'rest r
ong, Ntombi.You'
vebeen
throught hemost .Don'tbeweaknow" ,Isaidtryi
ng
togetmysel ftost opcr yi
ngbuti tdi
dn'
twor k.I
event uall
ycr iedmysel ftosleep.DearHappi ness
andLove, whenwi llyouvisitmysadhear t
.I'
dlove
tomeetyou.Fr om, Ntombit heeverbrokenhear ted
girl
.
[
03/
28,
11:
14]Lynne:Fi
ve

DrZi
m
Toseeanot herwomansufferbecauseofdomest ic
violencehithome.I'
veneverbeenavictim ofabuse,
butIknowt hepai
nitcausesthevict
im andher
fami l
y.Ntombithi
nksthatIdonotunder stand,
but
asf arasdomest i
cviol
enceisconcern,Ido.My
fatherusedt ohi
tmymot hertoo.Peopl
et hinkri
ch
meannopr obl ems, butt hedar knesst hatgoeson
behindt hoseheavy, expensi vedoor swi l
lshock
many.Iusedt obet hel i
ttlegi rlwhowoul dsi ti
nthe
cornerinmybedr oom t ryingt obl ockoutmy
mot her'
scr iesanddaddy' sshout i
ngbycover i
ngmy
earswi thmyhands.It hinkt heyal wayst houghtit
asleepbecausei twasal waysl atei ntheni ght .My
mot herwoul dwakeup, cookbr eakfastwhi l
e
hummi ngherf avour i
tesongsast houghnot hing
hadhappenedt heni ghtbef ore.Theyoungmedi d
notmakemuchoft hesi tuat i
onathomebecause
apar tf
rom t heoccasi onalexchangeofwor ds
everythingel sewasf i
ne.Daddyst i
llkissed
Mommy' scheeki nthemor ni ngbef oregoi ngt o
wor k.West i
llwentoutf orf ami lyt i
me.Mommy
l
ookedhappyeachmor ningandsheneverhada
bruiseonherbody.I t'
sonl ynowt hatI '
m ol derand
haveabet terunder st andi ngofl i
fedoIr ealizethati
t
wasal lanact .Mommyact ingt opr otectmeand
Daddyact i
ngsohecoul dal waysbet hegoodguyi n
myeyes.Theywer egoodatact ing.I'm an
opinionatedwoman, alwaysbeensoIaskedwhat
theoccasi onalshout ingandcr yingf rom mymom
was.Theybot hmumbl edr easonIst i
lldon't
remembert ot hisday.Thef ight i
ngst oppedaf terI
askedabouti t,thi
ngswer egoodorsoIt hough.My
fatherwasadoct or ,
andt hatcamewi thal otof
respectf rom t hecommuni ty.Mymot herwasa
nurse, butr etir
edear l
y.That '
showt heymet ,bot h
wer emedi calpr ofessionalsatt hesameheal thcar e
Cent r
e.I t'snosur pr i
set hatI '
m adoct or ,medi cine
runst hroughmyvei ns.Idon' tseemysel fdoing
somet hi ngel se.Ihadagoodandpr i
vileged
upbr i
ngi ng.IwasahappyAst udent ,untilthings
tookat ur nf orthewor stwhenIwas15year sol d.I
camehomef rom schoolt of indouthouse
surroundedbyl awof fici
als, anambul anceandnosy
neighbor s.Imademywayt hr ought hecr owdand
chaosonl yt obegr eetedbyamanpushi ngabed,
oni twasmyf atherwi thasi l
vercoveroverhi m.I
knewi twashi m becausehewaswear i
ngt heshoes
Ihadgot tenhi m asagi f
t.Iknewt heyonl ycover ed
thedeceasedl iket hat,butIr ef usedt obel i
evemy
dadwasdead.Mymot hercameoutoft hehouse
l
ooki ngl ikeazombi e.Itwasasi fhermi ndwasf ar
away.Shewasescor tedoutbyt hepol i
ce.I
rememberr unningt ohert ogetsomecl earityont he
sit
uat i
on.Theywoul dnotal lowmenearher .Allshe
saidwasmygr andmawasonherwayt ogetme,
thatshel ovesmeandwasdeepl ysor ry.Thepol i
ce
tookheraway.Mygr andmasatmedown, explained
everythingt omeandmyent irewor l
dcame
crushingdown.Mymot herwasnotar rested
becausei twassel fdef ense, butIhat edher .Our
rel
ationshi pwasbr oken.Iwasat ypicaldaddy' sgi r
l.
Irememberhear ingt hef ighting,butIdi dn'tbelieve
myf at herhither .Nt ombiwi llgohomet oday.She
shoul dact uall
yhavegonehomet hedayaf t
ershe
camei n,butIt oldt hem shehast ost ayatl east
threedays.It houghtI '
dt ryt oconvi ncehert oopen
upbutIcoul dn't
.Ial somanagedt okeepBonga
awayf rom her ,bybr eaki ngaf ewvi sitationr i
ght s
butIdon' tcar e.Al lhewant st odoisscar ehermor e
i
ntosi lence.Iwentt oherwar d,shewassi t
tingup
strai
ght .Iwentt oherbedandcl osedt hebl ue
curtainar oundus.Shehasn' tspokenawor dsince
thatdayshet oldmeof f.Thepsychi atristfears
she'llhurther selfagai n,butIdon' tthinkso.She
want st olive,shej ustneedsar easont o.I'm not
onetotal
kaboutherpersonall
if
ewithpati
ent
s,i
n
factI
'
veneverdoneitbefor
ebuttodayI'
l
lopenup
toherinhopeofherdoingthesame.
DrZi
m:"You'
regoinghometoday"
,Isai
dknowi
ng
t
hati
t'
snotreal
lygoodnewsforher.
Ntombi:"Ishouldhavegonehomelongti
meago,
butyouhavebeenkeepingmehere.Ihear
dthe
nursesgossip.Whatdoyouwantfr
om me,Doct
or?
",
shesaidwhilelooki
ngatme.
Me:"AndIwillnotapol
ogi
zeforthat
.Ntombi,
I
mightnotunderst
andyourpainbutmylif
eisnot
perf
ectei
ther"
,sheroll
edhereyesatme.
Ntombi:"
lneversaidi
twas.Al
lI'
m sayi
ngist
hat
youhaverichpersonprobl
em"
,shesaid.
Me:"Thethi
ngsaboutcert
ainissuesisthatt
hey
don'
tchoosewhotheywillaf
fectaccordingtocl
ass
andstat
us,l
ikedomesti
cviol
encef ori
nstance"
Ntombi
:"HowmanytimesmustItellyout
hat
Bongai
snotanabuser?
",sher
aisedhervoiceabi
t.
Me:"
I'
m nother
etot
ellyouwhatyoual
readyknow.
Li
keI'
vesaidcertai
nli
feissuesdon'tcar
eabout
howfatyourbankaccountis.Imightneverhave
beenavicti
m ofabuse,butIknowsomeonewho
has"
,shelookedatme.
Ntombi
:"Letmeguess,
oneofyourpati
encewho
youonl
ysawonceandneveragain?
",shesai
dwit
h
rai
sedbr
ows.Thisgi
rlt
hough.
Me:"Mymot her "
,Isai
dsoftly.Shesuddenl
ylooked
atmeattent
ively.Ntombi:"
Whathappened?",she
askedsi
ncerelyandwi t
hsof tenedeyes.
Me:" Shegunneddownmyf atherwithhi sowngun
i
nsel fdefense",Isaidinawhi spertoavoi dthe
gossiphospitalstafffrom hearing.Ihatet hatthere
i
snopr i
vacyinthispl ace.Itol
dherever ythi
ngand
shelookedatmel ikeIwasaboutt ocr ackand
breakdown.Iwasn' tbecauseI 'vedealtwi t
hmy
demonsbyconf rontingt hem.Nt ombi:"Idon't
blameyourmot herforpr otect
ingherself.I'm sure
sheisast rongwoman. "
Me:"Thatshei
s,someti
mest
oostr
ong.
",Il
aughed
sof
tl
ybythethoughtofmymot
her
.
Nt
ombi
:"Doyoust
il
lhat
eher
?",
sheasked.
Me:" No,throughintensivet her
apyindi vi
dual
lyand
togetherwewer eabletof indforgi
venessf or
ourselvesandeachot her.Iloveher,myl ifei
s
nothingwi t
houther.Ilovedmyf at
her,sti
lldoeven
whenhe' snomor ebutitwasal lhi
sfaul t
.I'
vealso
forgi
venhi mt hough.IhavemybaddaysbutI 've
healed,Ntombi .I
fyoucangetoutoft he
environmentt hati
smaki ngyousi ck,youcanheal
too",Isai
d.Shewasf iddlingwi t
hhert humbs.
Ntombi:"YouandBongawer enodiffer
entthen.
Onlyhi
sf atherki
ll
edhismotherandthenhimself
.
Hedidn'tchoosetobeliket
his.Somewhereinsi
de
i
sahur tboy.Ican'tgi
veuponhi m."
,shesaidsoft
ly.
Me:" I'
m sor
rytoheart hathehadt ogot hroughit
all
,butyouar enothi
spl acetobleedon, Ntombi.
Bongai shurtandtri
est oputbandagesonhi s
woundst ostopthebleedingbuthebl eedsover
thosebandages.Heneedst oacknowl edgehehasa
woundandbepr eparedt ocl
eanitout.Thecl eani
ng
willhur
talot,buti
twillcomewi thhealing.Ifheis
notdoingthathewi l
lkeeponbl eedingandhe
bleedsonyou",Isai
dwhil
ebrushinghershoulder
.
Ntombi:"Doyoualwaysmakeemot ionalwounds
soundphysical
?Thatdescri
pti
onwashect i
c."
,she
saistr
yingtochangethesubj
ect.
Me:" YoucanjokeallyouwantbutyouknowI'm
tal
kingthetrut
h.Youar eal
sohurt
ingandnot
deali
ngwi t
hyourpastt r
aumas.Youtwowill
continuet
ohur teachotheri
fyoudon'
tseekhelp.
"
Ntombi :"
Wear efi
ne.Thi
ngsaren'
tal
waysbad.
Whenwi l
lIgo?"
,sheaskedtr
yingt
oappear
unbothered.Shemightbetooscar
edandstubbor
n
tohearmenow, butatl
eastI
'
veplant
edaseed.
She'
llreali
zesoonthatIwasri
ght.
Me:" Youwil
lei
therbemymom orbeBonga' smom
i
nt hi
sstor
y,Ntombi.Ifyougetoutnow,
youcan
choosetobeneither
.I'l
lgosi
gnthosepaper
sand
gohome, I
'
mt ir
ed."
Ntombi:"
Tir
edbecauseyouhavebeenpl aying
bodyguardr
efusingtol
etBongain."
,shesaidand
l
aughedabi t
."Thankyou,DrZi
mmy.Iappr eci
ateal
l
thatyou'
ret
ryi
ngt odoforme.I
'm sorr
yIassumed
you'
veneverf
eltr
eal
pai
n."
,sheaddedwi
thasmi
le.
Me:" I
t'
snot hing, youjustneedt ol earnt oaccept
help.Notever yonewant stobr eakyouf ur ther.Let
mego.I '
lltel
lthatgor il
laofyour shecanseeyou
noweveni fIdon'twanthi mto.",shenodded.Il eft
herbedsi deandwentt osi gnherr eleasef or ms.I
sentanur setot ellBongahecangoseeher .I'
m
reall
ysor rythathehadt ogot hrought hepai nthatI
did.I'
m sur ehi swaswor sebecausehemost
probabl ywi t
nessedhi sdadhit ti
nghi smot herand
alsobecausehel ostbot hhispar ents.I tst il
lgavr
him nor ighttohi thiswoman.I ft heydon' tseek
healingNt ombiwi llei
therkil
lhi m orhewi llkil
lher.
Therei susual lynoi nbet weenwi thsuchi ssues.I
wast iredandal lIneedi smybed.MaybeIshoul d
i
nt r
oducemymom t oNt ombi.Per hapsshewi ll
l
istent oawomanwhowentt hr ought heexact
samet hing.Idon' tknowwhyIf eelconnect edto
NtombibutIdo.I 'm hopingthatt henextt i
meIsee
herwi l
lnotbet ot reatheratthehospi tal,butt o
grababi teandamovi e.Iknowani ntelligentper son
whenIseeoneandshei soneoft hose, shehasj ust
forgot
tenbecauseofal ltheliespeopl eli
keBonga
andherst epmom f eedheraboutwhoshei s.Idon't
haveanyf r
iendsbecauseIr arel yconnecttopeopl e,
butwithheri t'seasy.I nadiffer entstoryI'
m sure
she'dhavebeenagr eatfri
end.Nt ombiIf el
tsobad
forassumi ngt hingsaboutZi mmy.Forhert o
actuall
yopenupaboutheri ssuesmeanst hatshe
caresaboutme.ButIcar eaboutBongaandi fI
l
eavewe' llbot hbeal one.Atl eastnowwehave
eachot her.IsawZi mmy' spoi ntaf t
erherver y
descri
pt i
vepi cturesaboutusnothavi nghealed
from t
hatwhi chbr okeusaski dsbutwecanst i
llt
ry.
I'
mt hankfulfort hepeaceshemanagedt ogi veme
bynotal l
owi ngvi sit
orstooBongawal kedinand
gavemeal ongt ighthug.Hesmel ledokayt oday,
thetabaccoscentwasnotst rongandnot r
aceof
beer.
Bonga:"
Iwasnotgoingt
orapeyou,Nt ombi.I
'm not
suchamonster
.Ift
herei
sanythi
ngt hatIhateisthe
rapi
ngofwomanandchildr
en.Ij
ustwant edto
scar
eyoubutnottodeat
h,baby.
",hesaidsoftl
y.
Me:"
Whydi
dyoubr
ingmeher
e?"
,Iaskedhi
m.
Bonga:"Idon'
twantyoutodi
e.Whowil
lyouleave
mewi t
h? "
,Ishoul
dhaveknownhedi
ditforhi
sgain.
Me:Youdon' twantme.Yout ellmedayi nandday
outhowugl yIam, howst if
fIam i nthebedr oom
andt hat'
swhyyoubuysex.Youbr i
ngyourdr unk
fri
endsandt heirhi ghgi rlf
riendst ot hehouse.You
don'tdoanyt hingwhenoneoft hem gr abbedmy
behindt hatoneni ght .Youdon' tseeme, youdon' t
respectme.I fIdi e, you'llbebur denf reebecause
that'
swhatIam t oyou, ausel essbur den.I '
mt ired.
Yourf i
redest royedmymot herandf at her '
spi ctures.
AllIhavei stheone, andi tgotsavedonl ybecauseI
alwayskeepi twithme.Youhavedest r oyedmy
i
dent i
ty.I'
m not hi
ngwhi teanI D.Your ef uset ohave
anewonemadef orme.Youl iedaboutt hepr ices
becausedumbmedoesnotknowt heset hings.You
accusemeofcheat ingwhenyou' ret heone
cheating,youhi tme.Icoul dgoonandon.Il ef twit
h
youyear sbackbecauseyouwer ethef i
rstper sonI
confidedinaboutwhatmyf ather'swi fei sli
ke, the
fi
rstmanIl oved.Youpr omi sedt oloveandt ake
careofmebutyouf ai l
ed.IfIhadt ochoose
betweent het wohel l
s,I'
dhavechosenNomvul a'
s.I
f
IhadmoneyI 'dhavegonehome, facemyf athers
angerandendur eNomvul abecauset hepai nyou
causemewi l
lki
llme. ",
Isaidwhi l
ecryingandIwas
shockedt hathel etmef ini
sh"accusing"hi m.Bonga:
"I
'm abrokenman, Ntombi.I'
m sorry,baby.I'
llnow
showitt oyoui nact i
on.Youmustj uststopmaki ng
mesoangr y.It'
slikeyouwantt oseej usthowf ar
mybut tonscanbepushed.Ihat eitwhenyouweae
ti
ghtstuff.Let '
sgihomeandf indawayt omove
for
ward.I '
llmakesur eI '
m withyoumostoft het i
me
soyouwon' tdost upidshitagain"
Me:" Iwon't
.Gowor ksowedon' tstar
ve",
Isai d
tryi
ngtogett hatideaoutofhi smind.Thet hought
ofhim constant l
ybeingar oundthehousei snota
goodone.Iknowhedoesn' tworkandtheonl yway
hecanhavemoneyi sbycr i
mes.Maybehe' sat hi
ef.
DrZim camei nsayingshewant stoexaminemef or
thelastt
imebef oreI'
m dischargedandshegoes
home.Bongahadal ookofdisgustinhisfacewhen
shespoke.Wel lshedi dn'
toncefli
nchwhenhegave
heracoldstar e,sher etur
nedthefavourunt i
lhe
wastheonetolookaway.Shedidn'
texamineme
becausewebothknewI '
m goodtogo.Shespoke
casuall
yandhadBongacomei n.Onecouldcutt
he
tensi
onbetweenthem wi
thaknif
e.
DrZi m:"Ntombi,youhavet wooptions.Youeit
her
gettransport
edtoast ayont her
apycent r
eforsix
mont hs,t
woofwhi chnovi si
torsareall
owedoryou
promi set
oseeat herapi
stthreetimesaweek. "
,she
said.Bonga:"I
'veneverheardofsuch!",she
shouted.
DrZim:"Ohandyouwoul dknowhow, special
istof
sui
cidalcases,guruofpsychi
atry,
ohgr eatmaster
ofdepression?
",sheaskedsarcasti
cal
ly.Bonga
wasf uming.Hehatesbeingmadet oseem dumb.
Bonga:"
She'
l
ltaket
heou.
.."
DrZi
m:"
AreyouNt
ombi
?",
sheaskedandpoi
ntedat
me.
Me:" I
'l
ltaketheoutpatientcar
e",Isaidtryi
ngto
stopthi
sf ued.Bonga:"I'
l
ltakeyou,sitwithyouand
takeyouhome, baby.Iwanttosuppor tyou.
DrZi
m:"
Notpossi
ble.Shewon'
ttel
lwhatt
hecause
ofthesui cideat t
emptwasi fyou'r
ethere.
Everythingbet weenherandhert herapi
stis
confidential,notevenI'
m allowedtoknow.Ntombi ,
thi
swi llbeunt ilt
hetherapi
stishappywi t
hyour
progress.Ihonest lydon'tt
hinkyouhavelongt er
m
depression, butyouaregoi ngthr
oughadepr essi
ng
phasebecauseofcer t
ainthings"
,shelookedat
Bonga.
Me:" I'
m notdepr essed.I '
llgoandpr oveittot he
therapist.Thankyousomuch.Shesmi l
edandgave
met hedet ailsofthetherapi standt hedayst osee
her.Bongadi dn'
tli
kei tbuthet ookcomf orti
nt hat
thether apistmaynotspeakaboutwhatI 'l
ltellher
toanyone.Hesai dhe' l
ltakemeandpi ckmeup
again.Ihonest lydon'tcar ewhathedoes.Idon' t
havet hel ovet hatIhadf orhi m butIcareabouthi m,
that'
swhyIkeepgi vi
nghi m secondchances.A
seniordoct orondut ycamei nt otellusthatthebed
i
sneededur gentl
yandal soaskedwhati sgoi nfon.
DrZi m saidshewasj ustmaki ngsur eI'
mr eadyt o
gohome.Shespokei nashakyvoi ce,nottoomuch
thoughbutIknowt hattoneofvoi ce.Iusedt obe
l
ikethatwhenmyf athercaughtmedoi ngwhatI
wasnotsupposet o, andI '
dcomeupwi thal i
ei na
shakyvoi cet ocoverupmydeeds.I ti ndicatedt o
met hatDrZi ml iedaboutst ayingatacent re
withoutvi sit
sort hati t'smandat or yt hatIget
psychol ogicalhel p.Shet ri
ckedBongai ntoagr eeing
toletmegospeakwi thsomeone.Heck, sheeven
tri
ckedmei ntothi nki ngIhadnoot heropt i
onbut
thoset wo.I '
m notupsett houghbecauset hi
smi ght
helpmehealf rom t hedeat hofmymot her .Maybe
havingsomeonet ospeakt oi nconf idencewi llhel p
i
naway.Icheckedt hedet ailsoft hel adyandher
namewasZi khonaBam.DrZi mmy' ssur namei s
Bam.Whatar etheoddsoft hem bei ngr elated?I
tookcomf ortint hatshecan' ttel
lZi mmyanyt hing
evenift heyar er elat edbecausei tmi ghtl eadt oher
l
osingherpsychol ogyr eput ationandper hapseven
got ojailforbr eaki ngdoct or-patientconf identialit
y.
Whatdi dshockmet houghwashowMr" Iknowi t
all
"didn'tr eali
zet hatt hegooddoct orpl ayedhi mf or
afool.Foramanwhocl aimsI '
mt hedumbonehe
sureissl owi ncer taint hings.Iwasnoraboutt ot ell
him becauseI 'l
lgetanoppor tunitytogooutoft he
house, outoft hetownshi pf oraf ewhour sforthree
dayseachweek.IknowI '
llbecomi ngbackt o
Bongabutper hapsIwi l
lfeel bet t
er.Isuddenl ygota
bitexci ted.I
'm apeopl e'sper son, andi twast ort
ure
tonotbeoutandabout .Wel lIwon' tbeoutand
aboutevennow, butI '
llmeetanewper son.Ihope
shedoesn' tgetannoyedbymeandsayshedoesn' t
wantt oseeme.Iwasovert hinkingt heent i
re
sit
uat ionsomuchandt heexci tementwassoon
replacedbyanxi ety.I'
vel earnedf ourthi ngsabout
myDoct or.Shei skind, shei sst rong, shei s
sarcast icandshehasaf ewt ricksuphersl eeve
andIl ikei t
.Ilikeher .Shest andshergr ound.The
otherdoct ordidn'trealizewhatZi mmyhaddone
becausehewasi nar usht oempt yt hebedI
occupi ed.IswearIsawZi m br eathasl ightsighof
reli
efwhenhesai dhewant st hebedempt ywhen
her eturned.Isai dgoodbyet oDrZi mki thaBam and
wel eft.WhenwegothomeBonga" asked"mei na
rathert hreateningwayt onothangourdi rt
ylaundry
forthepubl i
ct osee.Isuggest edhet r
iest herapy
too, buthesai dhe' samanandmenkeept hings
i
nsi det oshowj usthowst rongt heyar e.Wel leach
tot heirownIt houghtt omysel f.I
'mj usthappyI 'l
l
bebr eathingfreshai roccasi onallywi t
houthavi ng
toexpl ai
ni tt
ohi m.Ipr omi sednott otalkabouthi s
"mi stakes".I'
m goi ngt heret ot ryandhealf rom t he
childhoodwoundsZi mt alkedabout .She'sr i
ght,
we' re"bleeding"andper hapsbycl eaningoutmy
woundsbydeal ingwi t
hmyt raumasIcanhel p
Bongahealt oo.Iwassuddenl yfi
ll
edwi thhopeof
whatt hiscoulddof orus.I '
m gl adIgott ri
ckedi nto
i
tt oobecauseIwoul dnothaveal l
owedt ogohadI
knownt hatIhadachoi cenott o.Evennowt hatI
knowIhaveachoi ce, Ichooseheal ing.I'm goingto
taket hebandagesof f,all
owmywoundt obe
cleanednomat terhowpai nfulsot hatI'
llstop
bleedi ng.Ican'tbel i
eveI '
m nowusi ngZi m'st erms
ofdescr ibi
ngemot i
onalheal i
ng, butitwasaper fect
wayt omakemer eal i
zet hatt hereisal otmeand
Bongaar ehurtingf rom.I 'l
lhealf ir
standt henheal
him.Iwasonami ssionofheal i
ngf ormeandmy
man.I twi l
lwork, i
thast owor k.
[
03/
28,
11:
15]Lynne:SI
X
Nt
ombi
Thedayofmyf i
rstappoi ntmenthascome.I '
m
suddenl yfil
ledwi thdoubt saboutwhet herornotI
shoul dgo.Thet houghtoft alkingt osomeoneabout
whati sbot heringyoui snoteasy.I '
m am nat urallya
personwhokeept hingst oher selfnomat t erhow
painedIam.Bei ngar uralgi rl
,youwer e
programmedi ntobel i
evingt hatawomanhol dst he
knifebyt heshar pend, meani ngt hatnoout sideris
supposet oknowyourbusi ness.Whensomet hing
i
ski ll
ingyouont hei nside, fi
ndawayt odealwi thit
i
nst eadofcr yi
ngbecauset hatwi llnotsol vet he
problem.Speaki ngt oast rangeraboutmydemons
i
sgoesagai nstal lthatIwast aughtt obelieve.I
havenever ,notonceconsi deredki l
lingmysel f.I
l
ostmymot heratayoungage, wasmi str
eat edby
myst epmom, gotabusedbymyl over ,
yetnever
haveIt houghtofendi ngmyl ife.Thef actt hatIwas
abletodoi tindicat edtomet hatIhadr eachedt he
edge.I 'm notgoi ngt oleaveBonga, Ican't
.Hei smy
l
ifeli
ne, mymeansofl iving.IfIl eavehi m Iwi llmost
l
ikelyendupl i
ket hosel adi eswhosl eepunder
bridgesandoccasi onall
ysel ltheirbodi esf orf ood
anddr ugs.I '
m sur et heyt oohavet heirdemonst o
dealwithandt hati swhyt heyendedupl iket hat,
butIdonotwantt hatlife.WhenBongai ssoberand
doesnotseehi sfriendsf orawhi l
e, heisabet ter
person.Heisagoodper son.Yes, helies,cheat s
andhi t
sbutIknowt hathei sgood.Hehasbeen
undecidedaboutwhet herI 'm al lowedt ogoseeMr s
Bam ornot ,
andIhadt okeeponr emi ndinghi mt hat
i
fhedoesnotagr eeIwi llbel ockedupi nasui cide
watchcent r
e, t
houghIknewi twasnotgoi ngt o
happen.Heevent ol dmewhatt ot ellt
hel adywhen
sheaskscer tainquest ionst oapoi ntwher ehedr ew
upal i
stofpossi blequest i
onst hatshemi ghtask
andanswer edt hem hi msel fandmademer ehear se
i
t.IplayedalongandImi ghtevendoast old
becausethoughhewi l
lnotbewi t
hmei nt her oom,
thethoughtofhi mf i
ndingoutt hatIspi l
ledt he
beanst othetherapi stter ri
fiedme.Hewoul dt each
meal essonI '
m sur enott of orget.
Iwasreadyandstandi
ngbythedoorwaitingfor
Bongatodri
veme.Hedoesnotusuall
yt akethis
l
ongtogetready,somet
imeshedoesnoteven
bot
herbathi
ng,soIknewthathewasstall
ing.He
wast ryingt omakemel atef ormyappoi ntmentso
thatIdonnothavemucht imewi tht hel ady.Iwai t
ed
patient l
ybecauseIdi dnotwantt oupsethi mt oa
pointwher ehel ockedmei nthehouse, i
thas
happenedmanyt i
mesbef ore.Hef inallyappear ed
andsai dwecoul dgo.West eppedoutoft hehouse
andi nt othecar .Heboughthi msel fanol drundown
carf rom hisf ri
end.Isweart hesef ri
endsofhi sare
maki ngaf oolofhi m.Al loft hem dr ivedecentcar s
andl ivei nthosedecentt ownshi phouses.Iknow
thathei seitherinbusi nesswi ththem orwor kfor
them, butonecl ear l
ynot icest hattheygetabet ter
cutoft hepr ofi
t.Istil
ldonotknowwhathedoes
andIhavedeci dedt hatt hel essIknowt hebet ter.
Thatwaywheni ti
si l
legalandt hepol i
cequest i
on
met oapoi ntwher etheyst rapmet oal i
edet ector
testmachi neIwoul dnothavet owor rybecauseI
reall
ywoul dknownot hing.I '
m surei twillnotcome
tothat ,butmywi l
d,dramat icimaginat i
onhasme
prepar ingf orwhat ever.Wef inall
yar rivedatHout
Baywher eDrZi m saidt hel ady'sof ficewas.My
hear tstartedtobeatf asterwhenBongapar kedthe
car.Thecarcamet oast andst il
landnei therofus
spokeormoved.

Bonga:“Ntombi
”,hesaidmynamei nasof
tyet
dominati
ngtone.“Her
ecomest hewhatwi
llyousay
toher?
”questi
onagain,It
houghttomysel
f.
Me:“
Mmm?
”,Isai
dwhi
lel
ooki
ngathi
m.
Bonga:“ Itr
ustyou.Ihopethatyouaresl
owly
l
eaningt ot r
ustmet oosi
nceIhavenothadan
episodei nawhilenow”,hesaidwhil
etappi
ngthe
steeri
ngwheel .Hehadnothadanepi sodebecause
Ihavenotopenedmymout haboutwhathesaid
pushhi sbut t
onsthat'
swhy.Iwasnotabouttosay
thatoutloudandgi vehim areasont
ohavean
episodet hough.
Me:“Iti
ssti
llear
lydays,Bonga.Iam nervous
enoughabouttoday, sopl
easedonotaddmor e
emotionsonme” ,Isaidi
napleadingtoneofvoice.
Bonga:“Youwi
llbef
ine.Thesepeopl
ejustwantt
o
makemoneyofyou.Theydonotcar eaboutour
i
ssues.”
Me:“
Wearenotpayi
nghercent
”,hel
aughed.Ihat
e
i
twhenhedoesthat
.
Bonga:“OhNt ombi
.Iforgethowdumbyoucanbe.
Doyout hi
nkshewoul dbel ivi
nginHoutBayifshe
didnotgetpaidbysomeone.Wear enotpayi
ngher,
butthegovernmentisandi tmustbealotofcash”,
hesaidlooki
ngatthebui l
dingandinatoneIdidnot
l
ikeatall
,li
kehejusthadal ighbul
bmoment .
Me:“Letmegobefor
eyouinsul
tmemor e.Seeyou”
,
Isai
dandopenedthedoorbuthest
oppedme, I
tur
nedtofacehi
m.
Bonga:“I'
m sorr
y.Iwantedt ogiveyouthisbefore
yougo” ,
hesaidtakingoutaR200not efrom his
shir
t'
spocket.“ThisiswhatIhavesof artosavef or
yourIDandCer ti
fi
cate.I
tisnotenoughbutIwant
youtokeepi t
,sothatyouwi l
lknowj usthow
seri
ouslysorr
yIam aboutever ythi
ng.Iwillgi
veyou
therestwhenIhavemor e.I
'm showingyoui n
acti
onthatIhavechanged, ”
Me:“
Thankyousomuch.Iwi
llkeepi
tsaf
e.”
,Isai
d
wi
thasmil
e.
Bonga:“
Youdeser
vei
t,baby”
,hesmi
ledandki
ssed
me.

Wesai dourgoodbyesandImademywayi n.I

suddenl yfelthopef ul
.Maybeourr elationshi pis
goingbackt ohowi tusedt obe.Il ookedatt he
R200andputi ti nmybag.Iwassoexci ted.Iwent
i
ntot hebeaut i
fulbui l
ding, askedthesecur i
tywher e
MrsBam' sof ficewas.Het oldmet ogot othel ady
atrecept i
on.Ther ecepti
oni stwasf riendlyandt ol
d
mei twasont he6t hfl
oor .Ithankedherandwas
aboutt owal kupt hestai
rswhenshesuggest edt he
l
ift
.Ihaveneverbeeni noneandIt oldher .She
askedoneoft heyoungmenwhopassedt ot akeme
up.West eppedi nt ot
hedecent l
ylitandsi zedl ife.
Thedoorcl osedandIf eltitstartt
omoveup.“ You
canopenyoureyesandl etgoofmyhandnow,
mam” ,saidtheyoungmanwi t
hasmi l
e.Iopened
myeyesandr eal i
zedIhadbeenhol dinghi shand
ti
ghtly,tootight ly.Iapologisedandhesai diti s
okay.Heevent ookmet owher eIneededt obe.I
wenti nandf oundanot herr ecepti
oni stlady.How
manyoft hem doest hisplacehave?Shet oldmet o
gositdownandwai tabi t.Iwentt ositonthegr ey
chairs.Thepl acesmel l
edgoodandl ookedeven
mor ebeaut if
ul .Thedoorbehi ndt hereceptiondesk
fl
ewopen, agent lemanandal adywal kedout .The
manl eftandmynamewascal led.Iswearmyhear t
wasgoi ngt ocomeoutofmymout h,wellthatis
howi tfeelslike.Ist eppedi ntot heyel l
owpai nted
room, wellitwasacombi nat i
onofyel l
owandl ime,
abeaut if
ul,cal mingcol our .Ilookedatt hemi ddle
agedwomanwhoi ntroducedherasMr sBam.Ihad
nodoubtt hatshei srelatedt oDrZi m.Sheknew
whoIwasal ready.Sheaskedt hel adyatthef ront
deskt omakeuscof fee.Ist oodl ikeawei r
dst atue
i
nt hecent eroft her oom whenshet oldmet ositon
thebluecouchandgetcomf ortable.Shestartedto
makeconver sat iont obreakt hei ceandImust
admi tshei sgood.Ihadst oppedsi t
ti
ngast iffpol
e
andevensmi ledonceort wice.
[
03/
28,
11:
15]Lynne:Seven

Nt
ombi
IseeMr sBt hreedaysi naweekMonday,
WednesdayandFr inday.Todayi sWednesday, the
secondt imeI '
l
lbeseei ngheragai n.Insteadoft he
fearandanxi etyIf eltlastt ime, Inowf eelatease
andexci ted.Bongahadan" epi sode"yest erday
becauseIr efusedt ogi vehi mt heR200hegaveme
Monday.Hewant edt ogoanddr i
nkI '
m sur e, I
refusedatf irstbutIgavei nsoonaf t
erbecauseI
wasaf r aidofmaki nghi mt ooangr y.Hesear ched
thebedr oom l i
kemadman, itlooksasi fanat ural
disasterhadvi sit
edourr oom.Hehasnotbeenback
sinceyest erdayt houghheknowst hathei smy
meansf ortranpor tt omyt her apysessi ons.Ihad
madepeacewi tht hef actt hathewon' treturni n
ti
me.Hewasabusi ngmeevenwhenhedi dn' tt
ry,t
o
deprivemeofsomet hingt hatmi ghthel pmei s
abusei nmyeyes.Idon' tevenhaveaphonet ocall
andt ellMr sBI 'm notcomi ng.I 'm sureshe' llthi
nk
I'
m anungr atefulbr atwhoi swast inghert ime.I
wasl ooki ngf or war dtoseei ngher .Itookmy" good"
dressof f,I
'l
lweari tFr i
daywhenwewi llhaveour
nextappoi ntment .Ihaven' tcleanedt her oom Bonga
messedupanddeci dedI 'ddot hatt odistractmy
mi nd, I
'mf eelingsad.Ist art
edwi thallthedr awer s
hehadpul ledoutandt hrownont hefloori nhi sr age.
Whydon' tIfeelIdeser vebet t
erthant hi
s?WhydoI
feelliket hisisal i
femeantf ormeandt hatI 'm not
wor thyofal ifelikeSi ndi '
sandZi m's?If oldedt he
clothest hatwer escat teredalloverthef loor ,
clothesI 'dhavet oironagai n.Ipickedupasmal l
spor t'
sbagf rom t hef loorwant ingtoputi ton
Bonga' scloset .Somet hingf el
loutandIpi ckedi tup.
Itwasabagf ill
edwi thgr eenst uf
f.Itookacl oser
l
ookonl ytor ealizei t
sweed.Wehadar ast a
wannabewhol ivednextdoort ouswhenwel ivedi n
theshackandheal wayshadweed, soI'dknowi t.I
sear chedt hebagandf oundanot hersubst ancet hat
thedi dn'trecogni ze.Isatont hebedt ryingt of igure
outwhatBongawasdoi ngwi thil
legaldrugs.Was
hekeepi ngi tsaf eforhi sfri
ends?Iwoul dnotputi t
passhi m, he'saf ri
endspl easer.Perhapshei s
smoki ngi t
?Buthewoul dnothavemoneyt obuyso
much, Ihear ddr ugsar enotcheap.It hent hought
thathemi ghtbedeal i
ng, buthei ssobr oke.Ar en' t
drugdeal ersr i
ch?I twoul dexpl ai
nwhyIdon' tknow
whathedoest oputf oodont hetable.Myboyf r
iend
i
sadr ugdeal er!Heput spoi sonont hest reets.I
expect edpet t
ythef tfrom Bonga, butneversel l
ing
drugs.Il ivewi thadr ugdeal er.Per hapsevenauser .
Itookoneofmyshi r
tsandwi pedt hepackIhel din
myhandwi thit,I
'vel earntat hingort woabout
fi
nger printsonmovi es.Whent hepol icecome, I
don'twantt hem t oknowt hatIknewaboutt his,
hopef ullyt heywon' tstrapmet oal iedet ector
machi nebecauset heywi llknowt hatIknewand
keptqui et .Mymi ndwenti ntoovert hinkingmode.I
hateBongaf ordoi ngt hist ome.Iputt hebagatt he
backofhi sst uffandcont inuedwi thmycl eani ng.
"I'
m goi ngt ogot oj ailbecauseoft hi
smanoneday" ,
Iwhisper edt omysel foutofshockanddi sbelief .I
heardaknockont hedoorandt hent hewi ndow.I 'm
sureBongal osthi skeyagai n.Iwentt oopenand
Sindiwasst andingi nf r
ontofmel ooki ngso
beautiful.Ii nvitedheri nbutonl ybecauseBongai s
nothome.Si ndi:Fr i
end, youneedt odumpt hatf ool
ofyour s.It houghthewasni ce, buthei snot .He
hadt hener vetot ellmet ostayawayf r om you. "
,she
saidandr olledhereyes.Me:" Hello,Si ndi.I'
mf ine
thanksandyou? ",Isaid.
Sindi:"
Sarcasm doesnotl
ookgoodonyou.Anyway,
whatar eyoudoing?"
,shesai
dwhil
elooki
ngaround
thelounge.
Me:" Cleaning.Iwassupposet ogot omyt heraphy
sessiont odaybecauseyouknow. .
.uhm. ..
the
suicideattempt ",Isaidinshame.Si ndi:"Many
peopl esufferfrom depr ession, sodon'tbeashamed.
I'
mj ustgladt hatyouar est i
llhereandbecauseI
wantyout ogetbet t
er,I'
llpayf oryourt axitogo
there.I'
m sureyouwer egoi ngt ogowi thBongabut
thatwon' thappenbecauseIsawhi m atsi sDee's
tavernwhenIwentt obuybr eadear l
ieron.He
l
ookedl i
kehewasnott hinkingabouthomeand
eveni fhewasIwoul dnotwantyout ogeti nt
oacar
wi t
hadr unkper sonbehi ndt hewheel .Gogetr eady,
I'
llgogett hemoney. ",shesai dwi t
hasmi le.
Me:"Thankyou,f
ri
endbutIdon'tknowhowt oget
ther
ealone.I
'
veneverbeentotownalone.
",my
wordslef
therbott
om l
iphangi
ngont hefl
oordueto
shock.
Si
ndi:"
Okay,
I'
llgogetdr
essedandgowithyou.I'
l
l
wi
ndowshopwhi l
eyouarebusy.Thi
sisi
mportant,
myf r
iendneedshel
pandI '
m goi
ngt ohel
pherby
taki
nghertothehel
p.Wai t
,di
dthatmakesense?
",
shesaidlooki
ngconfusedandIlaughed.
Me:"Perf
ectsense.Thanksagain,
gogetready,
we'r
elat
ealready"Sindi
:"Ohmygoodness,Iwon't
haveti
met oputmyf aceon!"
,shesai
dwithaf r
own.
Me:"Yourdon' tneedmakeup" , Isaidandshe
rai
sedherl eftbrow.Si ndi :"Sayst hegi rlwhoonl y
usesvaselinef orallpuposes, yetst illlooksr adiant
.
Somemot herswombsar eabeaut i
f ulspaI '
m sur e
andtheygi vebi r
thtopeopl eli
keyou" , shej oked
andwebot hlaughed.Idon' tseet hebeaut yshe
sees,butIwasnotaboutt odebat eaboutt hat .She
ranoutgoingt ogether sel fdecent .Iwi shsheknew
j
usthowbeaut ifulshei swi t
houtt hef acef il
ters.I
wenttoputonmy" good"dr essagai n.I twast he
onlydresst hatdidn'tsagt oomuch.Iunpl ai t
edmy
afr
oandcombedi nout ,leavingi tbig.Wewer e
fi
nall
yreadyt ogo.Si ndilookedatt headr esson
MrsB'scar dandknewt hepl ace.Sheexpl ainedt o
mewhatIshoul dsayt ot hedr ivershoul dIhavet o
comeal onesomeday.Iappr eciatedhersomuch.
Wef inallygott her eandIwas15mi nutesl atef or
myappoi ntment .Iwant edt or unupt hest airs,but
Sindidr aggedmet ot helift
.Ihel dherhandt i
ght ly,
l
ikeIdi dwi tht hatguyonMonday.Shel aughedand
saidIhavet he" Vel aphiMj ongeni "syndome.Idi dn't
getitatf i
rstbutdi dandIl aughedsomuch.Thel if
t
openedandt heguywhohel pedmeupt hel if
tst ood
i
nf rontofi t.HeandSi ndilockedeyesandi twasi f
thoughIdi dn' tevenexi st
.Hecl earedhist hr oatand
greeted.Si ndi ,thebi gmout hcoul dnotevenl etout
asimpl e" Hi ".Shef inallytoldmet hatshe' llbeback
withinanhourorso.It hankedheragai nand
steppedoutoft hel i
ft.Theguywal kedinandI
swearIsawawetspotunderherar ms.Hewas
maki nghersweat ,li
terall
y.Iwavedgoodbyeunt il
theliftshut .Isuddenl ywi shedIcoul dbeaf l
yon
thewal lint hatl ife.Ir antoMr sB'soffi
ceandshe
waswai ti
ngf ormeatr ecept ion.Shecamet ohug
meassoonasIwal kedi nandl etoutasi ghofr eli
ef.
It'
salmostast houghshet houghtsomet hingbad
hadhappenedt ome.Iapol ogizedandwewent
i
nside.Shehadal lkindsofyummygoodson
platt
er sont het abl e,itwassweetandsavor ygoods.
Iaskedwhatt heoccasi onwasandshesai dshe
boughti tf orapar tytheyhadear li
eronbutsome
wasl eftoverandt hatIshoul dhel pmysel fandal so
takesomehomei fIwant .Il
ookedatt hepl atterand
i
thasnotevenbeent ouched.Hadi tbeenl eftovers,
thepl atterwoul dnotl ooksof ullandst i
llwel l
arranged.Idi dn'task, Ijustthankedherandhel ped
mysel f,webot hdi d.Shet oldmet hatshebooked
mef ort wohour sinst eadofone.Iwasshocked, but
gratef ul.Ilovebei ngwi t
hher .Wemadeour selves
comf ortabl eandt al kedaboutsomest uff.Iasked
hert ot ellmeaboutmymom, Ijustcoul dnot
pretendl ikeIwasher eforanyt hingel se.She
l
aughedandnodded.Shet ookpi cturesf rom her
l
ittl
et abl ebesi deherandgavet hem t ome.Il ooked
atitandsawt wol it
tlegi r
lsonabl ackandwhi t
e
picture, theirsmi l
eswer esobeaut ifulandf i
ll
edwi th
happi ness.I nt heot hepi cturewasmymom, clearly
i
nherear lyteensont hisone, shel ookedso
beaut iful.Thet hir
donewascl ear l
yherandMr sB
andI 'm guessi ngi nt heirmi dorl ateteens, such
beaut ies.Ismi l
edandhel dthem cl oset omychest .
Mr sB:"Wewer esocl ose.Wher eIwasNobandl a
wast ooandvi cever sa" ,shel aughed." Whenyou
describedheronMondayandIr eali
zeditwasher ,
I
l
aughedbecauset hatwasBandl aforyou.Iwasa
bitofat omboy, butshedr il
ledl adybehaviourinme
andIhaven' tforgottenherl essons.I '
vespentthe
entir
eMondayj ustcr yingf orherl oss.Iknowi thas
beenyear ssinceherpassi ngbutt omei t
'sstil
lso
raw.St i
llsounbel ievabl e,evenhadt ocancelmy
otherappoi ntment s.Ial wayst houghtI'dgoback
andseeherandherf ami lyagai nthinki
ngt hatI'
d
fi
ndhersi nceIdi dn'tthef ir
stt imeIwentt ocheck
onher .Toseei fshef inal l
ybecamet henurseshe
dreamtofbei ng",shesai dsof tly.
Me:" Shewasapar tti
medomest i
cwor ker.Myst ep
mot herusedtosayt hatsheranawaywi thmy
father.Idon'
tknowherf amilynorwher eherhome
i
s.I fwhatNomvul asaidaboutherr unningaway
wi t
hmydadi str
ue,itmeanst hatshewasr eal
lynot
from Queenstown.Myf athergotupsetwhenI '
dask
aboutherandherf ami l
y."
Mr
sB:"
Yourst
epmot
herwasr
ighti
nthatshe
mi ghthavel efthome.Nobandl aandIwer eboth
from Peddie.Shehasal it
tl
ebr ot
her ,
meani ngyou
haveanuncl eonhersi deoft hefamily.Herfather
hadhi sownf arm wit
hsheepandcat tle,
andback
thenitmeantt hatyourf amilyisri
chwhent hey
havel i
vestock.That '
swhatourf athershadi n
common, farmi ng.Wewer econsideredwhati snow
knownas" pr i
vil
agedkids"i nourvill
age.Wedi dn't
haveever ything,butweneverst arved.Ourmot hers
wer etypi
calXhosahousewi veswhor espectedthei
r
husbandsandourcul turesomuch.
Me:"Somymot herl
eavePeddi
eafteryouhad
l
eft
?",
Iaskedandshenoddedherhead.
Mr sB:"Ithi
nkshemi ghthavel ef
tnotlongaf terI
didforreasonsonl yknownt oherandyourf ather
andherf amily.IlefthomewhenIhear dabout
nursingandsoci alwor koppor tunit
iesforblack
womeni nJobur g.ItoldBandl aaboutittooandwe
wer ebothexcitedtogoseet hecityofgold.My
parentsletmegoandpur suetheoppor tuni
tybut
yourmom camewi thbadnews, yourgrandpar ent
s
didnotwantt heirchildgoi ngtoGaut eng.Ayoung
womanr ightnextdoort oyourgr andpar entshouse
workedi nJoziandcamehomesi ckandt hi
none
day.Itcameoutt hatshehadai ds.Thiswasbacki n
oldruralEast ernCapewhenhavi ngHI Vwas
consideredadeat hset ence,wel linmostcasesi t
wasbecauset het reatmentwasnotasgoodasi tis
now.Toyourgr andpar entsJozimeantget t
ingthe
deceaseever yonedr eaded.Mypar entshadt hei
r
concer nstoo, butImanagedt oconvi ncet hem not
to.Ourhear tswer ehear tbrokenwhenwehear dwe
wouldbeapar t.Yourmom andIwer ealways
together,butgr owi ngupmeantgoi ngourseper ate
ways.Thedayt hatIleftwast hesaddestbutwe
tookcomf ortinknowi ngt hatI'dvisit
,li
ttle..
li
tt
..
.l
itt
le
didIknowt hatwoul dbet helastt imethatIsaw
her.
",shest ruggl edt ospeakt hrought het ears.I
wrappedmyar m ar oundheri ncomf ort." I
fonlyI
hadvi sit
edsoonerasIpr omi sedherIwoul d.I
wouldhavehadachancet osaygoodbyebef ore
shemovedaway" ,
shesai dinut terregret.
Me:"Youdidn'
tknowwhatl
if
ehadinstor
e,we
neverdo"
,Isai
dtryi
ngt
ocomf or
ther
.
Mr sB:" Butst i
ll,shewasmybestf riend,thet winI
neverhad.Ishoul dhavevi sitedt henextmont h,but
thingswer ehect icinJobur g.WhenIgott oJozi ,I
justgott oobusyt ovisi
thomeandi tgotwor se
whenImetZi m'sdadandmovedt oCapeTown
withhi m.Ihar dl yvisit
edbecausehesomehow
convi nsedmet hatheneedsmemor e.WhenZi m's
fatherwasr eadyt olobol
a, Ifi
nal l
ygotachancet o
gohome, butBandl awasal readygone.Myf ather
forgotaboutmenotcomi ngt oseet hem afteryear s
andwoul dsay" atleastyouwr otet ous, meani ng
youdi dn'tforgetaboutus" .Ithinkhewasj ust
happyt hatImar ri
edaXhosamanwhowasadoct or
ofal lthings.Mygr andmot hersai dthatIwon' thave
agoodmar r
iaget houghbecauseshedi dn'ttrust
Mi ke,thathewast oogoodt obet r
ueal mostasi fhe
i
sr ehear sedal ltheanswer st ot hequest ionsmy
fatheraskedt onotsayt hewr ongt hi ng.Itturned
outshewasr i
ght .
"Me:" Doyour egreti t
,not
l
isteni ngt oyourgr andmaseei nghowyour
mar riaget oMrBam ended? "
,Iaskedandshe
slowl yshookherhead.
Mr sB:"Thi
ngswerebaddur i
ngthelastfewyear s
l
eadingtohisdeat
h,butthest r
ugglestaughtme
thi
ngsI'
dneverhaveleanthadIbeenhome.I '
m
muchst r
ongernow.IregretthatIt
ookMi ke'
sl i
fe,
butitwaseit
hermeorhi m.So, nowthatyouknow
whereyourmother'
sfamilyis,wil
lyougosee
them?",
herquesti
onwassounexpect ed,tr
yingto
getustotal
kaboutmeagai n.
Me:" No,theyarestr
anger stomeandI '
m surethey
wil
lletmepayf ormymot her
'ssins,whateverthey
maybebutsomet hi
ngt el
lsmet hattheydidnot
partongoodt erms.I'l
lbear eminderofhowmy
mot herwaswhenIt ellthem aboutmyl if
e.Likemy
mot her,
Itoo,tookoffwithamanl eavi
ngf amil
y
behind."
MrsB:" Yourgrandpar
ent sar en'
tlikethatandthey
areoldnow.Iknowt heywi llwelcomeyouhome
well.Youruncl
ehaschi ldren, whichmeanscousi ns
youneverhad.",shesaidwi thenthusiasm."You
saidthelastt
imeyouf eltl i
keyoubel ongedwas
whenyourmot herwasal ive,herfami l
ymightbe
yoursafehaven.Icant ellyouexact lywherethey
l
ive.Toseemybestf ri
end'sbabysuf ferandal most
havingki l
ledher selfpainsme.Youal sohavea
mot herinmenow.Nobandl aandIal waysdr eamed
ofraisingkidswhowoul dbebestf r
iends, maybe
evengetmar r
iedsowewoul dsharegr andkids"
,she
l
aughed." Suchgoodt i
mes.YouknowZi m andme
now.I fyouf eellikeyou'vegotnowher eelsetoturn
tocomet oourhome.You' r
emybaby, Ntombi.I'
m
surehadyourmot herandInotpar t
edyou' dhave
knownhowmuchIl oveyou.Nobandl al ovedmy
chil
drenevenbef oresheknewI 'dhaveanyandI
hers,thethoughtofyouchi ldrenexisti
ngmadeour
heartsf ul
l.Imi ghtbegr ievi
ngherbecauseher
deathi snewt ome, butsheleftmeagi ftto
rememberherby.Sur elyGodwasnotmi skenwhen
hechoseZi mt ot reatyou.Doyoubel ieveinGod? ",
sheasked.
Me:"Thankyouf ort
ryi
ngt ohel
pme, Iappreci
ate
yousayingsuchkindwor ds.No,Idon'
tbeli
evein
God",Isaidt
hinki
ngshe'djudgemel i
keallthe
Chri
stianswhohavecomeatmyhouse.
Mr
sB:"
Rel
ax,
Iwon'
tfor
cemybel
ief
sonyou.I
s
t
her
ear
easonwhyyoudon'
tbel
ievei
nGod?
"
Me:"BecauseitseemsHehasf avour
it
es.Someof
usareli
vingsuffer
ingandneverendi
ngsorrow,
whi
leothersdon't.
"
Mr sB:" Letusleaveitatthatbef
oreIstart
preaching.Prayingalsohelpsalot.Yourmother
andIwer ebothMet hodi
sts,soI'
m sureshetaught
youpr ayerbecauseherf ait
hcouldn'
tbeshakenby
anythi
ng.Somet hingtel
lsmeyoust oppedbeli
eving
i
nt hepowerofpr ayeraft
ershedied,moresowhen
yourfathermar ri
edawomanwhousedt obeatyou
andevenmor esonowt hatyouareunhappy."
Me:"
That
'st
rue"
,Isai
dinawhi
sper
.
Mr sB:"Isuggestthatyougobacktoyourmot her
's
teachi
ngsandl et'
sseewhathappens.Idon' tt
hink
yousuf f
erfrom depressi
on,Ntombi.Youlivei
na
depressingenvir
onment ,knowthediff
erence.
"
Me:"Ithoughtyousai
dyouweren'
tgoi
ngt
ofor
ce
yourreli
giononme,nowyou'
retel
li
ngmet
opray"
MrsB:"I'
mtell
ingyoutorememberwhatyourmom
t
aughtyou.I
fshetaughtyoupr
ayer,
itmeansthat
shebelievedi
twouldhelpyou.Iknowpr ayerhel
ps.
I'
vepersonall
yseenGod'slove,
grace,mer cyand
for
givenessinmylif
e.Letmest opther
e."
Me:"Shealwaysdidencouragemet opray,I
rememberthatabouthertoo.ShediedaMet hodi
st
bytheway, sheworeherchurchatt
irewit
hsuch
pri
de.Herredjacket
,whit
eshoulderthi
ngs,white
hatandb..
."
Mr sB:" Bl ackski r
t!",
shef inishedmysent enceand
webot hl aughed." I'm alsost i
llaMet hodistand
weart hatsameat ti
re.Oh, Bandl a", shesaidwi t
ha
smi l
east houghshewasdeepi nt hought.Me:"My
fatherisat radit
ionalman, neverbel i
evedinchur ch,
alwaysj ustancest ors.Thel astt i
meIwentt o
chur chwasont hedayofherf uner al
.Iwast here,
youknow. ..
whenshet ookherl astbr eath.That'
sa
memor yt hatwi llforeverbei nmymi nd.Iwasa
childbutIr emembert hatpar ti
cul ardaysomuch.
Shehadbeensot hinalready.Myf atherwasat
wor k,ournei ghborwoul dcome, washandf eedher .
Ont hel astday, Iremembersheaskedt hatIgether
redchur chj acketandhershoul dercl ot
hout .She
didn'
thavemuchst rengt
h,butont hatdayshesat
upandIhelpedherputt hejacketonandputthe
shoulderat
tir
eontoo.Shel ai
dbackdownand
start
edtosingherfavouri
tehymn. .
."
MrsB:"
Bul
elanikuYehova?
",shesai
dandwebot
h
wept
.
Me:" Hercoughi ngwoul ddi sturbher ,
butshekept
on.Iputmyheadonherl apandIsangwi thher .I
kneweachwor dbecauseshehadsungi tsomuch
before.Wel ai
ddownonoursi des, Icl
ungt oher
jacketsomuch, Iwassoaf raid.Shesangunt i
lIfel
l
asleep.Myf atherhadcomehomewhi l
eIsl ept,but
wokemeupsayi ngthatIneedt ogetup.Thatt he
ancest orshavet akenher .Thechur chpeopl esai d
Godhadt akenher .Iwassoconf usedbecauseI
didn'tknowwhot ohatebetweenGodandt he
ancest ors.Whobet weent hem t oomymot her?I
choset oturnmyangert oGodbecausemyf ather
saidt hatancest orsarefami lywhohadgone.Soi n
myl ittl
emi ndbackt henIthoughtnof ami l
y, deador
ali
vewoul dbringmesuchpai n.Ont hedayofher
funeral,theylaidherchur chat tireontopofher
cof f
in.Knowi ngshewoul dneverusei tagainwas
painful.Event odayIcan' tstandt hesightofa
womani nherMet hodistChurchat t
ire.Imi.
..Mi.
.
Mi sshersomuch, MaBam.Apar tofmedi edwith
her ,
itdiedandl eftabl ackholet here."
,Isai
dnot
reali
zingt hatIhadst ar t
edtoshake.Shehel dmeso
ti
ght l
y,li
keshef earedmyshaki ngwoul dleadtome
breaking, l
it
erall
y.If i
nallycalmeddownandIf el
ta
bitbetter.I'
venevershar edthatwi t
hanyoneandI
guessl etti
ngi toutwaswhatwasneeded.
Mr sB:" Wet endtor ememberchi ldhoodmemor i
es
vividlywheni tei
thermadeushappyorcausedus
trauma.Yourmot her'spassingcamewi t
htrauma
thatnoonehel pedyoudealwi t
hbutI '
m her enow,
I'
m her eandI '
m notgoinganywher e.Godi snotto
blame, baby.Hel ovesyouandi swi t
hyoual lthe
ti
me.Pl easej ustopenupt hedooroft hatwear y
hear tandletHi min.Oh,Nt ombitherei spowerin
thewor dofGod.Yourmot herknewi t,that'
swhy
shewentsi ngingthegospelbecauseshehadno
fearofwhatwasnext .I
'm sureshedi dn'twantto
l
eaveyou, butsheknewbet t
ert
hant oquest ionGod.
Letmestopt
her
ebef
oreIscar
eyouof
fwi
thmy
bel
ief
s."
Me:"
I'
mf eel
ingabitbet
teraf
terspeaki
ngabout
t
hatday.Thankyou"
Mr sB:"That'
swhyI '
m here.Youcancallorcome
overwhenever .I
'
llwri
temyaddr essdownf oryou.I
haven'ttol
dZimt hatIknewyourmom becauseI
can'ttel
lherwhatwedi scussherebutcanItellher
thatyouareNobandl a'
s.I'
vespokenaboutyour
mot hersomuch.Iwantt otellhert
hatIfounda
seconddaught er"
,Il
aughedabi t.
Me:"
Youcant
ellher
.Doyouvi
sithome?
"
MrsB:"Ido.Myf atherislat
ethoughandmymot her
l
iveswithmyel destsist
erinKingWi l
li
amsTown.
Wehaveagoodenoughr el
ati
onship.Ialsostil
lgo
andseeyourgr andparentswhenI '
mt here.They
missyourmot her.Theydon'tevenknowshe' sdead
ortheywouldhavet oldmeort heyhear dar umour
butref
usetobel i
eveit.Youcanbet hecl osurethey
need,Ntombi.
"Iaskedt hatwechanget hesubject
onprayerandmemeet i
ngmymot her'
sf amilyby
tel
lingmet hef unst oriesaboutherandmymom' s
upbr inging.Ilaughedsomuch, onewoul dswearI
didn'tjustcryear lieron.I '
vecr i
edal ottoday.I
woul dneverhaveguessedMamat obesonaught y.
Wewentbeyondt het wohour sshebookedmef or
whenhernextappoi ntmentcancel led.Itwasgr eat .
Wel aughedandcr iedmor e.Igotmor eemot ional
whenshesai dt hatI '
m heal i
ngheri naway.I '
ve
beent ol
dI '
m annoyi ng, ugly, abadper son,
unlovabl ebutneverhassomeonesai dt hatmy
presencebr i
ngst hem peace.Iopenedupabi t
aboutmysi t
uat i
onwi t
hBonga.Unl i
keZi m she
didn'tgoonaboutl eavi ngandget t
inghel p.She
under stoodt hatitwasnoteasyt odo, forvar i
ous
reasonsbutsheadvi sedmet ochoosemysel f
bef oreIlosemysel finBonga' st oxinscompl etely.
DeepdownIknewshewasr ightandi tcomi ngf r om
her ,adomest i
cvi olencesur vivormademet hinka
l
ot .Ourt hreehour scamet oanend.If eltasadness
washovermewhenIhadt ol eaveandgobackt o
myr eali
ty.ShehadherPAputt hel eft
overf oodi n
cont ainersformeandal sowant edt omemoney
butIdecl i
ned.It ookhercel lphonenumberand
addr essal so.ShehuggedmeandIwentout ,I
hear dherhum " Bul el anikuYehova" ,sheal mostdi d
i
tlikemymom usedt o.Ist oodout si
det hebui lding
wai ti
ngf orSindi ,shef inallycamewear ingabi g
smi leonherf acesayi ngshe' smetherhusband.I
wassohappyt oseeherhappy.Iof f
eredhersome
foodbutshesai d" Bae"t ookherout .Icoul dn' t
believeshe' sinar el ationshi pwi t
hamanshej ust
met .Webot hl aughedathowsi l
lyitsoundedbut
shewashappyandIwasnotaboutt obur sther
bubbl e.Itoldheraf ewdet ail
saboutmysessi on
today.Wegoti ntot het axiandwenthome.Si ndi
wenthomeandIwenti nsidet heyard.Bonga' sol d
carwaspar kedont hegr assandmymoodj ust
dropped.Iwenti nsi deandcl osedt hedoorbehi nd
me.If el
tahar dsl aponmycheekt hemi nut eI
turnedar ound.I twassuchapowersl apt hatmy
othercheekwentagai nstt hedoorcausi ngmet o
l
osemybal ance, fallingt ot hef l
oor.Bongawenton
abouthowhewar nedmeaboutseei ngSi ndiagai n
andaboutwhenhecan' ttakemet oMr sBi tmeant
I'
m notal lowedt ogoal oneorwi t
hanyoneel se.He
wentt ot heki t
chenandIf ear editstogetakni febut
Ihear dt hedooropenandcl ose.Hi sl oudengi ne
i
ndi catedt hathe' sl eaving.It riedt ost andup, butI
wast ool i
ghtheadedt o.Isatbackdownand
star t
edcr yi ng.Thef oodIcamewi t
hdecor atedt he
floor.Iclosedmyeyes, hopi ngt hati twoul dbr ing
mybal anceback.It houghtofpr aying, Iremember
goi ngonmykneesandput t
ingmyhandst oget her
whi lemymot herpr ayedbutshenevert aughtme
anyot herpr ayerexceptOurFat her.It ri
edt o
rememberwhatshesai dwhenshepr ayedbut
coul dn'tsoIdeci dedt or ecitet hepr ayert hatshe
i
nst il
ledi nmesi nceIwasver yyoung." OurFat her
whoar tinheaven, hallowedbet hyname.Thy
kingdom come.Thywi llbedone, onear thasi tisi n
heaven. .
."Ist ut teredt hr ought ear sunt ilIsai dAmen.
Isathopi ngt hatIwoul df eel better,butI '
m di dn' t
feelanydi ffer ent .Iwascer t
ai nmypr ayergott ot he
roofandf ellbackdownagai n, neverr eachGod.I
stoodandst ar tedt ocl eant hemessandwentt ol ay
downaf t
er war ds.Iknowhewentbackonhi s
pr omiset onothi tmeagai n,butatl easti twasj ust
asl ap.It houghtt omysel ftryingonceagai nt o
just i
fyBonga' sact ions, event houghI 'mt heonei n
pai
nphysical
ly,emot
ionall
y,spir
it
uallyandmental
ly.
Iwasexhaustedandwor nout.Ididn'
tfeela
di
ff
erenceaft
erprayi
ngeither,soclearl
yit'
snot
meantforme.
[
03/
28,
11:
16]Lynne:EI
GHT
Nt
ombi
Iwentt othebat hr oom t obath,Ialwaysbat ht wi cea
day.Istoodi nf rontoft heli
ttl
ecabi netthatwas
nailedtothewal l
, i
thasami rrorinfrontofit.Ist ood
closertoitandr eal i
zedt hatIhadanopenbr uise.
WhenIhi tmyf aceagai nstthedoor ,Iguessi twas
toopower ful.Iwasnotwhatsoci etywouldl abelas
ayel l
owbone, butt hebr ui
sewasvi sibl
e,i
thasr ed
andpur plecol or sar oundit.Itookacl oserlookand
sawasmal lcutt hatwasbl eeding.Itouchedi tand
fl
inchedduet ot hepai n.Thebl oodhasal ready
driedup.Idi dn'tt hinkitwoul dlooksobafbecause
i
tdoesnotf eelasbadasi tlooks, ori
sitbecause
I'
vegot t
enusedt ot hepai n.Isoakedmyf acecl oth
i
nwar m wat erandgent lysoothedt hebruise.I t
stungabi t,butIknewt hatIhadt ocleanitinor der
forittohealqui ckly.Mycheeki salsostarti
ngt o
swel l.Iwasal sost i
llwai ti
ngf orthepr ayert hatI
prayedt owor k.Howl ongdoesi ttakef ort hem t o
beanswer edorwasIr i
ghtwhenIsai dmi neonl y
reachedt hecei li
ngandnotheaven?If inished
bathi ngandwentt oempt ythepl asti
cwashbasi n
outside.Thebasi nsl i
ppedi nonesi deandmademe
wet .Ithrewi tagai nstabr i
ckwal landitbr oke." You
spiltdirtywat ert hathadyourowndi rtini tand
proceededt ot hrowt hebasi naway, yetBonga
throwsdi rtonyoubutyoudon' tthrowhi m awayby
l
eavi nghi m" ,
sai davoi ceinsi demyhead.Idi dn't
event r
yt ochecki fthebasi nwasi ngoodcondi tion
tost i
lluse.Iwal kedbacki ntot hehouse, wor ea
j
erseyandwentt oSi ndi'shome.Ipr acticallyr ant o
theiryar dbecausei thadal readygonedar kout si
de.
Thei rli
ght swer est i
llonsoi tmeanst heyar est il
l
awake.I '
ml if
tedmyhandr eadyt oknockwhenI
l
ower edi tagai n, wonder i
ngi fwhatI '
mt hinking
aboutdoi ngi tt her i
ghtdeci sion.Ipacedupand
downi nf rontoft hedoorwhent herewassuddenl y
alightshi ningont hegr oundf r
om thei nside,
someonehasopenedt hedoor .Iwasst andi ngi n
thedar ksi desohecoul dnotseeme.Hewas
hol
dingasti
ckwithahugeknobont op.Imademy
waytotheli
ghtsohe'
dseethatI'
m notadangert
o
hi
m andhisfamil
y.Herai
sedthesti
ckreadyto
l
oweritdownonmybody.
Me:"I
t'
smeNt ombi
kayi
se,
Tat
'uKoni
",Ishout
ed
whi
lecover
ingmyface.
MrKoni:"Ntombi?Whatareyoudoingher esolate,
mychild.Inear
lybr
okeyourribsbecauseIt hought
i
t'
sthesetikheadstr
yingtostealmycar .Comein,
comein",hesaidwhil
eholdi
ngmyar m andgently
l
eadingmei nsi
dehishouse.Sindij
umpedf r
om her
seatwhenshesawi tsme.
Si
ndi:"Nt
ombi ,what'
swr ong?Whyisyourcheek
swoll
enandr ed?Whatdi dthatpi
gdidtoyou?Tata,
hehither
,Iknowt hatpighither
!"
,sheshout
ed
whil
elooki
ngatherf ather.
MrKoni :"
Iwillgoshowt hatcowardwhoaman
shouldfi
ght,i
nsteadofhitt
ingonhelplessyoung
l
adies."
,hesaidwalkingoutsti
llhol
dinghisweapon.
Istoppedhim becausehe'dbegoingt oanempty
house.
Me:"Tata,
youwon' tf
indhi
m home.Iknowthatyou
wanttohelpthat
'swhyIcamehere.Ineedyour
help"
,Isai
dtryi
ngtoholdbackmytears.Idon'
t
usuall
yaskforhelpsoIdon'
tknowhowt heywil
l
react
.
Si
ndi:Ofcourseyoucansleephere.I'
l
lgogetmy
si
ster'
sroom readyf
oryou."
,shesaid.
Me:"I'm grateful
,fri
end,butIcan'
t"MrKoni:"I
'm not
afr
aidoft hatboy, soifyoufearhe'l
lcomehereand
hurtyou, don'tworry.Nochildwil
lsufferwhenI'
m
here,especiallyagirlchi
ld"
,hesaidwithanger.
Me:" Tat
a, hewil
lknowI '
m here.I
t'
snotBongat hat
youshoul dbeaf rai
dofbutthepeoplehehangsout
with.Isuspectthattheyaregangster
s.Idon'twant
tr
oubl ef
oryou.Pl easehel
pmebyt aki
ngmet othi
s
address",Isai
dt aki
ngoutMr sB'saddress.
Si
ndi
:"Whati
sther
e?"
Me:"SomeonethatIt
rust
,fr
iend.Bongadoesn'
t
knowwheresheli
vessohewon' tfi
ndme."
Sindi
:"LetmeseesoI
'dknowwher
eyouar
e",
she
heldherarm outt
ome.
Me:"Ipr ef
erthatyoudon'tknowwhereiti
s.Bonga
knowsyou' remyf r
iendandwhenheasksIwant
youtor eall
ynotknowwher eIam becauseyou
mightletsomet hi
ngslipoutofanger
."
,mywor ds
l
eftherunhappy.
Si
ndi
:"Okay"
,shesai
dinasadwhi
sper
.
MrKoni:"
Ntombi,am Inottaki
ngyout
owol
ves,
my
chi
ld?
",hesoundedconcerned.
Me:"
No,
Tat
a.Ipr
omi
se"
MrKoni :"
Letusgothenbeforeheret
urns.Where
areyourcl
othes?
"Me:"Idi
dn'tpackanybecauseI
fear
edhe'dret
urnwhil
eI'
m busydoingso"
Sindi
:"It
oldVuyiaboutyouandhowwel lher
cl
othesfityou.Shet oldmetogivesomet oyou.
Luckil
yIwashedandpackedt hem today.Letmego
getthebagqui ckly.I
t'
sasifGodknewyou' dbein
needofthem. "
, shesaidwhil
erunni
ngdownt he
passagetohersi ster
'sroom.
MrKoni
:"Nt
ombi
,howl
onghashebeendoi
ng
t
his?
"
Me:"
It
'sbeent
ool
ong,
Tat
a",
Isai
dsof
tl
y.M
rKoni:"Andyoudon' tcomeandcr ytous?You'r
e
tooyoungf orthis.Asafatherofgi
rl
sitpai
nsmet o
seeanot herhurti
ng.Theseboysareworthnothi
ng,
mychi l
d.Ret urnhomebeforeyoudieintheseCape
Townt ownshi ps."
Me:" That'
swhyIhavet ogot othepeopl eI'm going
to.Theymi ghttakemebackhome" ,Il
iedbutonl y
becauseIdi dn'
thavet imet oexplainwhyI '
mina
townshi pinCapeTownandnotathome.Idon' t
wantmor epi t
y,justhelp.Si ndicamewi thabigr ed
suitcasef i
ll
edwi thstuf f
.Met hankedherand
huggedhergoodbye.Ipr omi sedtocal lher
wheneverIcansoshewoul dknowI '
m okay.Her
fatherputt hesuitcasei nthebootandwedr oveof f
.
Idon' tevenknowhowMr sBwi llwelcomeme.I 'm
hopi ngthatshewon' tmi ndt heunexpect edvisit
.We
fi
nal l
yar r
ivedathercompl ex.Thesecur ityaskedus
af ewquest ionsanddi aledMr sB.Het henopened
thegat eforus.Thehousesher ewer esobeaut i
ful
andi tlookedsaf e.Mr sBst oodinherdr ivewayin
herpur plegown.Shedi dn'tevenwai tforthecart o
parkbeforesheopenedt hedoor ,gent
lepulledme
outandhuggedme.I twasassheknewt hatBonga
hadanot herepi
sode.Shel ookedatmyf aceandI
sawsadnessi nhereyes.MrKonigr eetedher.Mrs
Bwant eftogivehi
m money, buthedeclined.He
al
sopr omisedtonott el
lasoulaboutmy
whereabouts,Ibel
ievedhim.Het ookoutmybag,
gavemeahuganddr oveof f.MrsBdr aggedthe
wheeledsuitcasei
nside.Icoul dn'
tbel
ievehow
beauti
fulherhousewas.I twasnott hosehuge,
doublestoryhouses.Itwasni ceandcosy.
Me:"Ma,I'
m sorr
ythatIjustcameli
kethisand
mostprobablyevenrui
ningourprof
essional
r
elat
ionshi
paspat .
.."
Mr sB:"Wewentbeyondt hatrel
ati
onshi
pwhenI
foundoutI '
m youraunt .Inevereverwanttohear
youapol ogizeforcomingt omef orhel
p.I'
m glad
thatit
'
smeyouchoset ocomet o.Hereyou'l
lbe
safe.I'
vegotanal arm system andyousawt he
securit
yguar dsandgat wsyst em whenyoucamei n.
NoBongaoranyf oolwi l
lhurtyouandwhenyou' r
e
readytopr esschargersI'l
lgowi t
hyou.Iloveyou,
Nt
ombi
",shecutmeshor
tandhuggedme.
Me:" ThankyouandIl oveyout oo",Isai
dwithtear
s
rol
li
ngdownmyf ace.Ireall
ydidl oveher.MrsB:"I
'
ll
gomakeyousomef oodandagl assofnicehot
chocolate.Wecansi tandt alkoryoucangosl eep
whenyou' redone,butbefor eIdoanyt hi
ng,l
etme
l
ookatt hatbrui
seandcut .I'
vegotsomedecent
suppli
esi nmyf i
rstaidkit
"Me:" Perksofhavinga
doctorforadaught er"
,webot hlauged.
MrsB:"Ahhnotr
eall
y,thatonehatesitwhenItake
medici
newhenIhaven'tseenadoctor.Evenknow
I'
l
lgetanear
ful
lbecauseIdidn'
ttakeyoutothe
emergencyr
oom.",
wel aughedagain.
Me:" Thankyouf oreverything, Ma.Iwillnot
over staymywel come.Ij ustneedt orecharge"Mrs
B:" Ipr ayt
hatafteryou' ver echarged,you'l
lusethat
fullener gytowor kingonheal ingyourselfand
creat ingafuturewi thouthi mf oryourself.
",Ij
ust
nodded.Idon' tknowwhataf uturewithoutBongais
l
ike, Ican'teveni maginei t.Shewentt otakehet
fi
rstai dki
tandt endedt omybr ui
se.Thatwas
followedbyagr eathomecookedmeal .Shel at
er
madehotchocol ateandcooki es.I fIdi dn'tknow
betterI '
dsayshe' stryingt omakemegai nwei ght .I
enjoyedt heal landi tfeltgoodt obeachi ldagai n.
Sheadvi sedthatIgowearmypaj amassowe' d
wat chamovi ewhi l
esnuggl ingont hecouch.I
didn'tevenknowi fther ewaspaj amasamongstt he
clothesIl it
erall
yj ustgotf rom Si ndi.Iopenedt he
suitcaseandsmi ledatt hebeaut if
ullycol our ed
clothest hatwer eneat l
ypacked.Bongaonl ybought
mel oosef i
tti
ng,longdr essest hatwer eei thergrey,
blackorbr own.Hedi dn' twantmet owearanyt hing
thatwoul dmakeot hermennot iceme.It ookt he
i
temsoutonebyonehol dingt hem agai nstmybody.
It'
scr azyhowSi ndi'ssi sterandIar et hesamesi ze.
Ifinallycameacr ossani ghtdr ess.I twasnavywi th
pinkhear t
s,Ilovefi tandIal sof oundamat chi
ng
gown.Vuyihasgr eatt ast e,Ican' twai ttomeether
andt hankher .Iputont heni ghtdr essandgown
andmademywayt othel ounge.Mr sBsai dwe' l
lbe
wat chingcomedybecausewebot hneededagr eat
l
augh.Ther ewasaknockatt hedoorandIj umped
upf rom myseatf earingt hatBongaf oundme.She
calmedmedownbef or eopeni ng.I twasher
daught er.MrsBsai dZi m hasherownpl acebut
also" l
ives"wit
hher .Iwoul dn'tcompl etel
ymoveout
i
fIhadsuchamom ei ther.IthoughtZi m woul dbe
j
eal ousofmel i
vingwi thhermom, butinsteadgave
meal ongwel comi nghug.Thet hreeofussatand
wat chedt hemovi e,wel aughedunt i
ltear
sf ormed
i
noureyes.Ievenf orgott hatIhavei ssuest odeal
with.Mr sBexcusedher selfaft
ert hemovi esaying
she'ssl eepybutwef irsthadt opr ay.Iwasnot
aboutt oshowdi sr espectbyr efusingt oj
oint hem i
n
prayer.Wehel dhandsandknel tdown.Zi m prayef
forus.Icoul dneverpr ayt hatwel l
.Wehuggedaf t
er
thepr ayer.MrsBt oldZi m nottomakemesl eep
l
at e.Shesai dgoodni ghtanddi sappear efintohet
room.
Me:"DrZim, Iwon'ttakeadvantageofyourmot her
's
ki
ndness,Ipr omise.I'
l
lstayforadayortwo.Iknow
mysuitcaseindicatesotherwise,
butit
'sbecausea
fr
iendofmi negavemehersi ster
'sol
dclothes.
",I
saidqui
ckly.
DrZim:"Thathasnotevencr
ossedmymind.I
'
m
happythatyouarehere.Wecanshar
emyroom
that'
snotr eall
ymyr oom si
nceI'
ve"movedout"but
don'tforonesecondt hi
nkIdon'twantyouhere.My
mom i salonemostt imesandI'
m happythatyou'
re
here,soplease, Ibegstayaslongasyouwi sh.Our
mot herswer e"sist
ers"sowearealsosist
ersnow."
Me:"
Thankyou,
doc"
DrZim:"Andst opcalli
ngmedoct or"
,shelaughed.
"I
'm notevenoneyet ,st
il
lintraini
ng.Doyouwantt o
goshoppi ngwithmesomet i
me?Ial wayswanted
todosisterl
ythingswi t
hasi sterbutneverhadone.
Doyout hinkwe'llhavesibl
ingr i
val
ry?"
Me:" Idon'
tknowaboutt heri
valr
y",Isaidwhile
l
aughi ng."
Ican'
tgooutwi thyoueither.Ican'tr
isk
him seeingme.He'smostpr obablylookingforme
aswespeak.Hemi ghtcomet oyouatwor ktooor
fol
lowyouandknowwher eIam.",Isaidwhile
breathingheavi
ly.I
tfel
tli
keIwasgoi ngt odie.
Zim:"Breat
h,breat
hNt ombi
.I'
m waymor estr
eet
smartthanpeoplegivemecredi
tfor.I
'
mr eadyfor
bi
tchymenanyday.Hewon' tthinkofaski
ngmy
mom becausemom t ol
dmethatyoudidn'
ttel
lhim
thatshewasyourmot her'
sfri
end.Don'tworr
y,I
won'tleadhim hereandIdoubthe'dtakechances
i
nasubur b.Bongaisasmal lt
owncr ook,hecan
onlynavigatethr
ought hetownshi
pbutnother e.
"
Me:"
Youdon'
tknowhi
m"
DrZim:" Wellhedoesn'tknowusei t
her.Stop
worrying.Canyoui maginewhatmymom woul ddo
tomei fyouhaveapani catt
ackwhi l
eleftwithme? "
,
shesai dinafunnytoneandwebot hlaughed.Me:
"I
'm scared.I'
m scaredforSi
ndiandherf ather.I'
m
scaredf oryouandyourmot her.Ishouldn'
tbring
youint omymess.Ishoul dgoback. "
,Istoodand
shest oppedme.
DrZim:"
Ntombi
,sit
",shecommandedandIdid.She
st
oodandwenttothebedroom andcameback
af
terawhil
ehol
dingagun.
Me:"Whydoyouhavet hat
?",Isai
dwhilebacki
ng
away.Iwasnotscaredbutyouneverknow,
acci
dentshappen.
DrZ:"
I'
mt r
ainedtohandleher
,don'
tworr
yandri
ght
nowit
'snotloaded.I
fBongatr
iestocomeher
e
thi
ngswi llgetugl y.Eveni fhef ol
lowsme, t
hi ngs
willgetugl y",shesai dsoundi ngsoser i
ous.Idi dn'
t
askmor equest i
ons, butcl ear lyZimi sagi r
lwho
canl ookaf terher self.Sheaskedt hatInott ellher
mom becauseMr sBhat esgunssi ncet hedayshe
hadt oshootherhubbyi nsel fdef ense.Ihope
Bongaknowdt hatnotal lgi rlsar eafraidlikeme.I t
l
ooksl i
keZi m woul dr eallyhur thim wi t
ht hatt hi
ngs
shoul dshebepushed.Howdi dsuchasubur bgirl
getsogangst a?She' ssupposet ohaveapani c
buttonandpepperspr ay, notagun.I '
mj ustgl ad
thatit'
slicensedandsheknowshowt oai m.Weput
onanot hermovi ebutdi dn'tr eallywat cht hi
sone
becausewewer et alkingsomuch.Sheopenedup
abouthowshe' saf r
aidofmar riageandt hat'
sl edto
atwoyearengagementwi thherper son.It oldhert o
tel
lhim, butshe' saf rai dhe' llleave.Weshar edour
childhoodmemor iesandsomuchmor e.Sheeven
promi sedt osneaki nwi net omor rowaf terwor kso
we'dhavei tinourr oom wi thoutmom knowi ng.I'
ve
neverdr ankbef ore,nevereverbutI 'veseenhow
fancywi nel ooksonTVsoI 'lltryit
.Sheal sosounds
l
ikeshewasapar tyani mal .IknewIcoul dn'tf ul
ly
ber el
axedbecauseBongami ghtf i
ndme, butI
enjoyedt heni ghtal ot.Ifhef i
ndmeandki llsme, at
l
eastmyl astmomentwoul dhavebeenspent
l
aughi ngandpl otti
ngmi schiefwi thmynewsi st er.
Shehuggedmesomuch, l
ikeshecoul dn'tbel ieve
thereissomeoneaboutheragei nt hehouse.I
couldn'tbelievehowathomeIf elt.Iusual l
yt akea
l
ongwhi letoadapt ,butnott onight .Toni ghtIhada
senseofbel onging, somet hingIhadn' thadsi nce
mymom di ed.Mr sBWhent hesecur it
ycal ledt o
sayNt ombiwasatt hegat e,Ifeltami xtureofwor ry
andj oy.Shewaswor riedbecausewhenyou' rei nan
abusiver elati
onshi pyoucoul dgethur tt oapoi nt
wher eyoudon' trecogni zeyour selfi nthemi rror .I
fel
tjoybecausemychi ldhadcome, Ididn'tcar e
whatst ateshewasi s, al
lthatmat t
er edwast hat
shecamet ome.Nobandl amustbet urningi nher
graveseei ngherchi ldsuffert hi
sway.Iwi l
lgi vemy
fri
endr estbyhel pingherchi ld.I'
vebeenpr ayingt o
Godt oshowmet hewayt ohandl et hissi t
uat ion
withNt ombi .Ifshedoesn' twantt ogot ohet
grandpar ents,Ican'tf orceherbutIknowt heywi l
l
l
ove.Shewoul dbet heironlyl i
nkt oBandl a, thei r
l
ongl ostdaught er
.Iwi shIcoul dfi
nall
yheart he
truthaboutwhatmadeBandl ar unawayf rom home.
Isatonmybedr eadingmyBi bleandcoul dheart he
sweetl aught erthatcamef rom t hegirls.Iwi sh
Nt ombicoul dlaughever yday.Ipr aythatshef inds
thecour aget ol eavet hatpi g.I'm sureZi mi shappy
tohavecompanyandknowi nghershe' smost
probabl ytryi
ngt oconvi nceNt ombit ogot oawi ne
tast i
ngeventorgooutdanci ng.She'sagoodchi l
d
butI '
m awar et hatshecan' tbeper fect.Shewi llalso
neverendangerNt ombi .I'
m sur eshe'l
lt r
yt o
convi nceNt ombit ogot ot heyout hchur ch
gat her i
ngwi thher .Idon' twantt opushNt ombit o
got ochur chorbel i
keus.I 'm wanthert oknowt hat
wewi l
lacceptherasi s.Ifal lgoesaccor dingtome
she' dr etur
nt oschoolandbei ndependentl i
keZi m.
Zimi ssemii ndependent ,shei syettof ull
yletgo.I
thoughtshe' dbemar riedbynowbutsheandher
mankeepst all
ing.Thef ami lieswi l
ljusthavet owai t
ont hem.I '
m sur eNtombiwi llmeetaki ndyoung
mant oosomeday, butt hat'st helastthingshe
needsnow.Todependonanot herman.Iwanther
tol earnt oloveher sel
ff ir
st, butmyul t
imat ewi shi s
forhertodiscoverr eallove, neverendi ngl ovet hat
canonl ybef oundi nGod.I '
llkeeppr ayingf orsuch
adayt hatmychi l
dwi llreal
izet hatpeopl ewi llonly
l
ovehert ocer t
ainext entandt heref oresheshoul d
focusont hel oveGodhasf orher .MayGodl eadme
andshowmet hewayt olovehert oo.Il ai donmy
sideandhear dt heloudestgi ggl eseverandIwas
notaboutt oshusht hem becauset heirl aught erwas
musict omyear s.Ismi l
edandcl osedbyeyeswi th
nowor riesbecauseIknowt hatmyGodwi l
lfix
whateverIf ailto.Hewi l
ldoal lthewor k, allIhavet o
doismakeuseoft her esour ceshegi vesme.Iwi l
l
notfai
l,Ican'tfai l
.
[
03/
28,
11:
16]Lynne:NI
NE
Bonga
Iwentoutwi thfri
endsandgotdr unkonpur pose
becauseIdi dn'twantNt ombitogot othatstupid
therapi
st.Iknowhowsucht hingswork.The
therapi
staskst hepat i
enttr
ickyquestionsand
pati
entsendupspi ll
ingthebeanonsomedeep,
personalthings.Ntombiwi l
lfindherselftel
li
ngthat
womant hatI'
vehitheraf ewt i
mesandt he
therapistwi l
llayachar geofdomest icvi olence
agai nstmewi thoutNt ombi '
sconsent .Thi spat ient
doct orconfidentiali
tyonl ygoessof ar.Whena
doct orfeelstheirpat i
ent sli
fei satr iskt heycant ell
at hirdpersonwi t
houtt heconsentoft hepat ient.All
i
tt henameof" savingal i
fe".Nt ombidoesn' tneed
savingbecauseherl ifeisinnodanger .Myf r
iends
advicedmet oputmyf ootdownandf orbi dherf rom
going.It houghtmenotpi t
chi ngt opi ckherupat
homewoul dhavebeenenought omakeherr eali
ze
thatIdon' twanthert ogo, butno, shej usthadt o
playsmar tbyaski ngt hatslutSi nditohel pher .You
knowbecauseIhaveeyesever ywher e.Someone
sawt hem get t
ingonat axitoget her.Idi dn' tbel i
eve
i
tf ir
stbecauseNt ombihasneverbot her edt ogot o
townal one.Thef urthestshe' sbeenoutal onewas
togot oourlocalspaza, whi chwasj ustast reet
away.Shedoesnotknowhowt het axisyst em
wor ksei t
her,soobvi ousl ythatski nnywi tchSi ndiis
cor r
upt i
ngmywoman.Iwant edt ogot oSi ndi 's
home, butI'
m knowbet terthant oangerherol dman.
Wegr ewuphear i
ngt hathei sagangst erhi ding
behi ndapol iceuni f
orm.Ioncesawwi thmyown
eyeshowhenear lybeatupadr ugdeal ertodeat h
wi t
hhi sbar ehands.Af terrealizingNt ombihad
goneIwentbackt omyf r
iends, theyadvi sedmet o
teachheral esson.Ther eisonl yonewayt ot eacha
womanwi thoutrespectf orhermanal esson.Iwent
andwai tedathome.Shecamehomel ate,there'
sno
wayshewasatt het herapi stallt hatt i
me.Ij ustsaw
redwhensheopenedt hedoor .Sheevenhadt he
ner vetohum asong.Idon' trememberhi tt
ingher ,
allIrememberi sseei ngheront hef loor.Ithinkher
cheekwasbl eeding.DamnIhat ewhatshemakes
medo!Sheevenhadt hener vet obr ingleftoversof
thef oodanot hermanboughtf orher .Thatwas
expensi velookingf ood, thekindr i
chpeopl eeatat
thesef ancypar ti
esoft heirs,soi tcoul dn'tcome
from Sindi,shecan' taf fordsuch, hadi tbeenapi e,
yesbutf ancyf i
ngerf ood, no!Ir et urnedt othe
tavernt ocalm down.Isatal oneanddeci dedt ogo
homeaf terawhi le.Iwantt oaskNt ombimysel f
wher eshehasbeenal mostal lday.Igoti ntomycar
anddr oveof f
.Iwasst il
labi tdr unk, butI '
m can't
drive.WhenIar ri
vedhomeIf oundt hehouse
compl etelyempt y.Iatf irstfear edt hatshewentt o
thepoli
ce, butremember edt hatNt ombii
saweak
woman, shewon' tdar
ego.Ideci dedtogolookfor
heratSindi'shome.Idi dn'tseeherf at
her
'scarin
thei
rgarage, sohemustbegone.Iwentand
knockedlikeamadman.Si ndi :"
Youbreakthatdoor,
youpayf orit!"
,sheshout edandopenedt hedoor .I
couldseet hatshewasnotexpect ingt
oseeme.I 've
neverbeeni ntheiryardbef ore.
Me:"Wher
ethehel
lisshe?
",Ishout
edwhi
lel
ooki
ng
behi
ndherhopi
ngtoseeNtombi.
Sindi
:"Tat
a!"
,sheshoutedl
oudly.Me:"Hey!Iknow
heisn'
thome.Idon'twantt
rouble.Justgiveme
what'
smi ne"
,Ishoutedwhi
lei
nhi sface.She
backeddown, cl
ear
lyabitr
att
led.
Sindi:"
Giveyouwhat '
syours?Arewest i
lltal
king
aboutahumanbei ngwi thri
ghtshereorapi eceof
meat ?Heyscum,Nt ombiisnot"what'
syour s",
she'sherownwoman.Shei snothere,Idon'tknow
wher esheisandeveni fIdi
dI'
dratherdiethant el
l
you",shesaidandlookedatmewi thacol dstare.
Me:"
Wel
lthatcanbear
ra.
.."Si
ndi
:"Tat
a!Tat
a!.
.."
,
sheshout edl oudlyandt hat '
swhenInot i
cedcar
l
ight sf lashi ngbehi ndme.Herf athercameoutof
thecarf lying.IshovedSi ndiasi deandwenti ntothe
househopi ngt ofindNt ombi .Ididn' tmakei tfar
whenIf eltherf atherhi tmeont hebackwi t
h
somet hing.Il ostmybal anceabi t.Iturnedt ot ry
andf ighthi m, buthehi tmeoverandoveragai n.
Sindiwaski ckingmyr ibshel pingherf at herto
def eatme.Thei rwhi t
et i
leswer enowr edwi thmy
blood, theywer en'
tl yingabouthi m gi vingar eal
beat ingt ot hosewhohur thisl ovedones, butIdi dn't
dot hat .AllIwanti smygi rl
friendandI '
llgo.Si ndi'
s
fatherdr aggedmeout sideandSi ndishout edf or
ever yonet ohearhowIt riedtoki llher.Peopl einmy
townshi pbel i
evei nmobj ustice,neckl acingbei ng
theirf avour ite.Af ewmencamewi t
hhome
weapons, from st i
cks, tokni ves, andIsawonewi t
h
at yreandpat rol.Iknewt hati fIdi dn'tgetoutf ast,
I'
ddi eapai nfuldeat h.
MrKoni:"I
'
m sur
eNtombiwil
lthankhernei
ghbor
s
f
orgett
ingri
dofanabusi
vedrunkli
keyou.It
smen
l
ikeyouwhoputshameonus.Iwasangr ywhenI
hear dwhatNt ombi saidyoudi dt oher ,butt odar e
touchmychi ld?Mychi l
d? !Men, let'
sgetr idoft his
pest.Heal sosel l
syourchi ldrendr ugs!Random
Man:" Letthedogdi eal ready! ",shout edt heman
whi l
el ift
ingahuger ock.Iknewi tst ocr ushmy
head.Whyar epeopl esocr uel ?Amancan' tgol ook
forhi swomannow?I nther uralar east heywoul d
havehandedNt ombioverandt oldhert ogosor t
thingsoutwi thherman.Cl ear l
yt hesemenar e
uncul tured.Igotbeat enmor eandeachnewbl ow
wasmor epai nfulthant hel astone.If eltsomeone
putat yreovermyheadandar oundmybody.I twas
i
nt hatmomentt hatIaccept eddeat h.Thepet rolgot
pour edovermeandIwept .Iweptl ikeaboy.I ttook
mebackt owhenIwoul dcr ywhenmyf atherhi tmy
mot her .Ididn'tchooset obeabadper son.Li fehas
j
ustneverbeenki ndt ome.Ihavef ami lybacki nthe
Easter nCape, butsinceI 'vebeenwi thNt ombi , I
can'tvi si
tbecauseIdon' twantt oleaveNt ombi
aloneanddon' twantt otakehert ot her uralar eas
becauseshemi ghtwantt ost ay.Twover yloud
bangi ngsoundsbr oughtmebackt or ealit
y.Ther e
wassuddenl ychaosandper fectwer er unni nginal l
direct i
ons.Ithoughtsomeonehaddeci dedt oki l
l
mef ast ,andifthat '
st hecaseI '
llbegr atefult othat
per son.Gunshoti sbet tert hanbur ningtodeat h.I
feltmybodygetweakerbyt hesecond.I fIcome
outoft hisali
ve, Nt ombihadbet t
erhopet hatIdon' t
fi
ndherbecauseI '
m her ebecauseofher .I'
m sur e
shewaseveni nt hecr owdwat chingwhi l
eI '
m bei ng
beat enandper hapsevenpi ckedupast oneofher
ownt ohitmewi thi t.IwillmakeMrKoni ,Sindiand
Ntombipayf ort his.I '
m sur et her eissomeonewho
doesn' tfearMrKoniandI 'm al sosur ethatNt ombi
can' thi defor
ever ,likeI '
vesai dI 'vegoteyesand
ear sever ywher eandsomet hingt ell
smeSi ndiand
herf at herknowwher eNt ombius.Per hapst hey
tookhert oasaf ehousef orabusedwomen.Nt ombi
i
sn' tevenavi ctim ofabuse.Af ewsl apsever ynow
andt hensur elydon' tcountasabuse.I fshewas
presentwhenmyf at herhi tmymot her,
shewoul d
haveknownwhatabusei t.Nt ombicr i
esabusef or
thesmal l
estthings.NowI '
m st ar t
ingtobel ievet hat
shecr iedabusewhenherst epmot herwas
disci pli
ningher .Wel lwhenIf indherIwi lljusthave
toshowherwhatabusei t
.Shecanr un,butshe
can'thidef orever, notf
rom meanyway.I 'mjust
hopingt ogetoutoft hi
sor dealal i
ve.Myf l
eshf ail
ed
me.Ipassedoutsoonaf ter.Iwokeupi nastrange
place, i
twasashack.Atl eastIdi dn'
tdi e.I
'm sure
myf riendsorbosscamet omyr escue.Myent ire
bodywassor e, fr
om headt otoe.Icoul dnoteven
moveasi ngl ef i
ngerorliftmyhead.Al lIwas
starr
ingatwast hezi ncroofI '
mf acing.I twasr usti
c,
butI'mj ustgr atefultobesaf e,wel latleastIhope
I'
m saf e.Ihear dasoundwhi chsoundedl i
keadoor
opening.It ri
edt ot urnmyheadbutf ail
ed.Whatdi d
thosepeopl edot ome?Theper sonf inall
ylookedat
me.I twasanol dwomanandshedi dn'tlookedt oo
happy.Shedi ppedhercl othinabowlandwashed
myf acewi thi t.Thewar mt hoft hecl othsoothedmy
wounds.
Me:" Wheream I?
",Iaskedinawhi sper.Ol
dl ady:
"Youarewhereyouar enotwant ed.Idon'
twantyou
here.It
oldmysont hatIdidn'
twantt ogetinvolved,
nextthi
ngmyhousewi l
lbeburntdownbecauseI '
m
hidi
ngat hug"
,sheshoutedinfrustrat
ionandanger .
Me:"Yourson?Whowant syourson? "Oldl
ady:
"Youwi l
laskhi mt hatwhenyouseehi m.Tomor r
ow
youar eoutofher e.",
shesai dandputmor e
pressurewhi l
esoot hingmywounds.Ihear dt he
soundoft hedooragai n.Ifi
nal
lygettosee"theson".
ImustsayI '
m nott oopleasedthatheofallpeople
savedmyl ife.NowIwi llowehim mor et
hanI
alreadydo.Hei sal oanshar kIborrowedmoney
from andst oppedpayi nghim.Itthoughthi
m not
comi ngaftermef orhi smoneymeanthewi pedmy
debtoff.
Me:"
JaKhust
a",
Isai
d.
Khust a:"Don't"
jaKhust ame, youdog.Yout hought
you'dgetawaywi thmymoney?DoIl ookliket he
breadwi nneratyourhouse, Bonga?Ij ustgiveyou
freemoney? "
,hesaidflashinghisgol dcover ed
teeth.Ihavef or
gottenhowugl yt
hismani s.Ol d
Lady:" Mkhuseli
,takethisthingoutort omor rowyou
wi l
lfi
ndhi m att
hepol i
cest ati
on",sheshout ed
whi l
epoi nt
ingathim.Khust a:"OhMommy, people
l
ikehi m arewhatf eedus.Ifyout akehimt her e,I
won' tgetmymoney. "
,hesai dinapl eadi
ngvoi ce.
Howpat heti
c!Oldlady:"I
'mt ir
ed!Tomor rowni ght
hemustbeout .Onedayofnotknowi ngifthe
peoplewil
lcomebur nmyhousewast ort
ure
enough.Youknowwhatt hesepeopledot othi
eves
andpeoplewhohelpt hi
eves"Khusta:"Tomor r
ow
nightt
hisroom wi
llbeclean.Oldlady:"Good!"
Khust a:"Pleasemakehi m somet hingt oeatsohe' l
l
havest rengtht oleavet omor row.",hebegged.Ol d
l
ady:" Mxm" ,sheclickedhert ongueandwal kedout .
Khust alookedatmeandsmi l
ed.Hel ookedatme
l
ikeIwassomet hi
nggoodhehasnothadi nal ong
while.Ihopehei snothavi ngf i
lt
hyt houghts.He' s
beent opr i
son, soIwoul dn'tknowi fhissexual it
y
changedi nthere.Her ubbedhi shandst ogetherand
smiled.Iadmi t,
Iwasf eeli
ngbet terbitscared.
Khust a:"Doyouknowt heinterestthatyouoweme
foryourl oan?NowIhaveevensavedyourl i
fe.It
meansyouar ei
ndebt edt omef orli
fe",hesmi led.
Me:" Ididn'taskyout osavemyl i
fe",myr epl
ywas
fol
lowedbyt wohar dsl apsonmyal readysor e
cheeks.
Khust
a:"
Didyout
hinkI
'
dletyoudi
ewit
houtpaying
me?Hadyounotowedmemoney,I'
dhavepoured
t
hatpetr
olandli
tyouupmysel
f,butIl
ovemoney
t
oomuchandyouhavemymoney.Me:" Iwi
lll
et
Konipayfor
..
."
Khusta:"
Hey, ol
dmenwi thknobsti
cksaretheleast
ofyourproblems.Isai dyouowemef ormymoney
andforsavingyourl i
fe.Youwil
lpaymef ortherest
ofyourli
fe.Idon'tcarehow,buteachweekIwant
col
dhar dcash",hesai dcut
ti
ngmeshor t
.
Me:" Idon' thavemoney.I 'm adr ugdeal er
, nota
kingpin.Youknowt hesehi ghprof i
let hugspayus
peanut !",
Imanagedt oshout .Khust a:" Youknow
thatI'
m notaper sonwhoshoul dbeanger ed.Isee
menotaski ngformymoneymadeyout hinkI '
m
yourf ri
end.YouwantmymoneyorI '
lldomuch
wor set hant hi
s",hesai dwhi lepressi ngmyr ibs.I
couldn'thel pbutl etoutal itt
lecry.Itissor e!Hei s
ri
ght ,Iknowhe' lldowor se.He'dt orturemef ordays
beforeki ll
ingme.Imi ghtbeaman, butIcan' tst
and
pain.Al lofthisisNt ombi '
sf ault
.NowI '
mi ndeeper
shitbecauseofher .Iwi l
lfindher ,makeherpayand
makeherhel pmewi t
ht hi
sdebtsheputmei n.I
don'tcar eifshehast osel lheror gans, soulorbody
todoi t,butdoi tshewi ll
.Khust a'smot hercame
withfood, shehel pedmesi tup.I '
veneverf eltsuch
excruciatingpai nbyj ustt
ryingt osi tup.I'm sure
somet hingi sbroken.Shef edmet hemai ze
porri
dgeshemadewi thsuchi mpat ience.She' dfil
l
mymout hbef oreIevenswal l
owedt hef ir
stspoon
ofpor r
idge.Sher eall
ydidn'twantmeher e.Khust a
l
ivedabi tfarfrom myhouse, soi t'
shi ghlyunl i
kely
thatKoniandhi st hugswi l
lknowwher eIam.Ican' t
gobackt omyownhouseei t
her .I
'm sur etheybur nt
i
ttot hegr ound.IhopeNt ombii shappywher eshe
i
sbecausei twon' tlast.Angerdoesn' tevenbegi nto
describehowI '
mf eeli
ng.Icouldki llsomeoner i
ght
now!I '
m goi ngt ol oseani ncomet oobecausei fI
don'tselldr ugsf ortheboss, I
'
m outoft hegame.
Howwi llIpayKhust athousandsofr andseach
weekwhenI '
m notmaki ngmoney?Ihavet ocome
upwi thapl ansoon!
[
03/
28,
11:
16]Lynne:Ten
NTOMBI
Af
ewweekhavegonebyandI'
m st
il
lli
vingwit
h
Mr
sBandZim comeshomeoccasi
onall
y.Bonga
didgot oZi mkhi t
hat oconf r
ontherabouthi dingme,
appar ent lyhesuspect sthatshet ookmet ooneof
thosesaf ehousesf orabusedwomenandchi l
dren.
Wel lhei snotr eall
ywr ong, MrsB'shousehasbeen
asaf ehousei ndeed.Mysi tuati
onhasal sof orced
Zimt ost opcomi ngt ohermot her'sof t
enbecause
wedon' tknowi fBongami ghtbefol l
owi ngherever y
move.Theonl ypr oblem isthatIcannotexpl orethe
beaut ifulsubur batal lbecauseIf eart hatImi ght
runi ntoBonga.Heknowsal otofpeopl esoi f
someonespot tedmeoutandabout ,theywoul dr un
tohi m andt ell
.Zi m sai
dBongal ookedl ikelifehas
beent reat i
nghi mr ough.Shesai dt hatheevenhas
bruisesonhi sf aceandj udgingbyt hewayhe
walked, hisbodyseemst obei npai n.If eltgui l
ty
whenshet oldmeaboutt hatbecausemymi nd
thoughtofal lreasonswhyhemi ghtbel iket hat.
Coul dhehavebeeni nacaracci dent?Iwoul dnot
besur pr i
sedbecausehel ikestodr i
nkanddr i
ve.I
alsot houghtt hatmaybehewasdepr essedand
tri
edt oki l
lhimsel f.Apartofmef eltsorryf orhi m,
sosor ryt hatIwant edtogocheckonhi m.Mr sB
andZi m usedal ltheirpersuasionpowert o
convi ncemenott o.Theywer eright,Icannotgo
backbecausehewi llkil
lme.Knowi ngBonga, he
blamesmef oral lhismi sfortunes.Ihavebeenat
peaceher eatMr sB' s.Onecanevensayt hatIam
sli
ght lyhappy.Mr sBspoi lsmer ott
enandbecause
Ihaveal waysbeent oldt hatIdonotdeser vegood
thingsi nl if
ebymyf ather '
swi feandboyf riend,Ifeel
unwor thyofherki ndness.Mr sBi sstil
lmyt herapist
butwehavesessi onswhenshecomesf rom wor k.
Shesai dshespot tedadodgycarout sideher
officesaf ewdays, sayingt hati tdroveof fwhenshe
gotcl osert oit.Iknowi tisBonga.I 'm surehewant s
toseei fhecoul dgetanoppor t
unitytogr abmeon
mywayt omyt herapysessi ons, li
tt
ledoesheknow
thatmyt herapisthasopenedherhomet ome.He
woul dn' tfoll
owMr sBhomebecausehedoesnot
knowt hatwehavegr ownsocl ose.I'm sot hankful
thatIdi dnott el
lhi mt hatshei sanol df r
iendofmy
mot her '
sorhewoul dhaveknownt hatIlivewi thher.
Zim andhermot herhaveachur chgat heringi n
Paar l,appar entl
yi t'
sahugeconvent ionwher eall
member soft heMet hodi stChur chi ntheWest ern
Capewi llcomet oget heri npraise.Theyhavebeen
tryingtoconvi ncemet ogowi t
h, butIcan' tfor
var i
ousr easons.Fi rstl
y, Ihaven' tbeent ochur ch
sincemymot her'sf uneral.Secondl y,Bongami ght
seeme.Thi rdly,Idon' treall
ybel i
evei nt hi
swhol e
prayerandchur chbusi ness.Icoul dseet hatMr sB
i
st r
yingherbestt onotaddpr essur eonme, butI
coul dseet hatt hisisi mpor tansal ottoher .Ifinal l
y
agr eedt ogoandt heireyesl iterallyl i
tup.They
promi sedt hatnot hingwoul dhappent omeeveni f
Bongaf indsoutaboutmywher eabout ssomehow
andIt r
ustedt hem.Mr sBboughtmeabeaut iful
bluedr ess.Mycur veshavenowst artedt oshowt oo.
Zim dr ovetoPaar llastni ghtsi nce.It hinkshehol ds
ani mpor tantroleatherchur ch.Mr sBandIgot
readyandI 'm aner vouswr eck.I '
m sur epeopl ewi ll
not i
cet hatI'm anoddoneout .Theywi llseet hatI '
m
notusedt ot hehouseoft heLor d.Mr sBl ooked
beaut if
ulinherchur chat tir
eandIcoul dseet hat
shet akespr i
dei nwear i
ngi n.Shewasbusyput ting
heressent i
alsi nherhandbagwhi leIst oodbyt he
wi ndowbi tingmynai ls,Idon' tusual l
ydot hatbut
todayi tseemedl i
kei twasanol dhabi t
.If elther
handonmyshoul der ,Iturnedt of aceher .Mr sB:
"Youcanst ayher ei fyoudon' twantt ogo, Ntombi .I
woul dlovef oryounott o,butifyouar enotupt oit,
stay.I fyouwant , Icanst aywi thyou" ,shesai d
whi lebr ushingmyar m.Me:" I'
mj ustner vous, Ma. I
can' tevenr ememberwhatt hei nsideofachur ch
l
ooksl ike.Iwantt ogot houghandseepeopl e,I
can' tremembert hel astti
meIwaswi thacr owdof
peopl e.Let '
sgo, Iwantt ohearyousi ng",mywor ds
l
ef therl aughi ng.Shei ssuchabeaut ifulwoman.
She' spet i
te,herski nl ookslikei thadbeendi ppedi n
car amel .Mr sB:" Let 'sgot hen.Zi m hasbeencal l
ing
nonst op.Ineedt obuyyouaphone, mybabyso
shecoul dbot heryouaswel l"
, shesai dandwe
l
aughed.Me:" Thankyou, Ma.Let '
sgobef oreyou
mi ssoutonal lthegoodseat s.Iwi llsitatt heback
i
nt hecor ner",shel aughedMr sB:" Wheneveryou
feelcomf ortable, justsi ti
nacor nerwher eIcanst i
ll
seeyou.Idon' twantyout odi sappearf r
om my
sightbecausei twi l
lbepackedt her e.",shesai dwi t
h
alookofconcer n.Me:" Ma!"Mr sB:" Don' tdar eMa
me.I '
m over protect iveandI '
m notgoi ngt otryt o
hidei t.Ican'twai ttoshowt hel adiesmyot her
beaut ifulchild.Whent heyasksayI 'm youraunt ,
don'tbeexpl aini
ngl ongst or i
est othem.Justsay
I'
m yourmot her'
ssi ster,unf ortunatelychur chladies
arenosy" ,shesai dandIl aughed.Me:" I'
llremember
that"Shegavemeawar mr eassur i
nghug.Zi m
call
edagai nandwel iedandsai dwear ei nt hecar
whenwehaven' tevenl eftthehouseyet .Mr sBi s
great ,
butsheneverseemst ofini
shont ime.Just
whenyout hinkshe' sdone, shesuddenl y
remember ssomet hingshest i
llneedst odo.Ij ust
sitandwai tpat i
entlybutZi m doesn' thaveasmuch
patience.Wef inallymadei ttot hecarandont othe
round.Shewaspl ayinggospelmusi calltheway
andIcoul dnothel pbuthum sof t
ly.Ther eisj ust
somet hingt hatgospelmusi cdoest oaper son.I t'
s
almostl i
kei tdoesn' tgot otheear s,butst raightto
thecor e,thesoul ,one' sbei ng.Wef inallyar ri
ved
andt henumberofcar sandpeopl eout sidemake
mef eelabi tanxious.Bongahadl ockedmei nthe
housesomucht hatIdon' tknowhowt obewi t
h
otherpeopl eanymor e.Af terMr sBr eassur edme
forthemi l
li
ont htimet hatal lwillbef i
ne, wef i
nall
y
wenti nsi de.Ther ewasj ustr edandbl uecl othing
everywher eyoul ooked.Zi m camer unningt ousi n
herbl uechur chat t
ire.Shegaveusbot hat ighthug.
Hermot hercoul dn'tevensaymuchwhenZi mt ook
mebymyhandandl etmet hr ought hecr owd, tothe
front.Hersecondwasj ustbl ueever ywher eyou
l
ooked, she'swhatherchur chcal l
sagui lder .She
i
nt roducedmet oherf riendswi thsuchexci t
ement .
I'
veneverf el tthisimpor t
ant .Someonest arteda
songandsoonenoughmostpeopl ewher eint heir
placesandsi ngingal ong.Zi mi nsi
stedt hatIsi tnext
toher ,Ifeltsoodd.Ever yonewasi nuni form.
Nobodyseemedt omi ndmet houghbecauset he
songwast oogood.Mr sBsatwi ththeot herwomen
herage, whowor ethei rredj acket s.Thechur ch
servicest art edandIwasnotr eall
ypr esent.I
somehowf eltexposedi naway.Ther ewasa
gent l
emanont hesi deoft hemenwhowor er ed
wai stcoatsandbl acksui t
swhost artedthehymn
"Siyakudumi sa.Icoul dn'tseehi m, buthisvoi cewas
toomagi cal .Soonever yonewassi nging.My
mot herusedt olovet hishymnt oo.Shedi dn'twant
anyonet omakenoi sewhenSi yakudumi saThi xo
wassung.Sheusedt osayt hatt hehymni sa
prayerandi t'
sdi srespect fultospeakwhi leit's
beingpr ayed.Icoul dheart hevoicesofot hers
aroundme, butt hispar ti
culargent leman' svoi ce
wast heonet hatcutdeepi ntomysoul .Itsas
thought heot hervoi ceswer esingingsof t
ly.Icoul d
seemymot heri nherchur chattir
e, si
ngi ngal ong
withhereyesshut .Imovedwi t
ht hesof tr hythm of
thehymn, l
eftandr ight ,i
twasasi fI '
m noti n
cont rolofmybody.If eltanar m wr apar oundmy
wai st,notevent hatmademesnapoutofmywei rd
state.IsawMamal ifti
ngherar msi nprai sewhi l
e
shei ssi nging.Shel ookssobeaut iful,
soatpeace.I
felttear srolldownmycheeks, yetIdi dn'topenmy
eyes.Ist artedt osi ngal ongsof tl
y, onlymovi ngmy
l
ips.If eltmysel fgetl i
ght erinaway.Thi s
gent l
eman' svoi ceseemedt ohavegoneabi tlouder
andIl ovedi t.Itwasl ikehewassi ngingf orme, i
t
wasast hought hemor epower fulhewasi nsong
themor emysoulgotmoved.Thesongcamet oan
end, even" Amen"soundedangel ic.Iopenedmy
eyeswhent heRever endspoke.Iwasbackt or eali
ty
andf eltembar rassed.Iwi pedmyt earsofqui ckly,
andr ealizedt hatIwasnott heonlyone.Iwentt o
thet oiletsout sidet or insemyf ace.If eltbet t
er
afterwar dsandwentbacki nside.Icoul dseeMr sB
wasconcer ned, butIsmi l
edt oshowI 'm okay.The
servicewentonandt heRever endpr eachedt he
wor dofGodasi fitwashi sl astser vi
ce.Il ovedt he
singingsomuchandhowact i
veever yonei swhen
singing.Thegent lemanwi tht hegr eatvoi cest arted
asongagai n,hecamet othef ront ,l
eadi ngagr oup
ofotheryoungmenwhi l
etheydancedt ot hesong
i
naci rcle.Ifinallygotachancet oputaf acet othe
voice.Hewasahandsomeman, t
allanddar k
skinned, almostl i
kemi ne.Hewast al
landwas
clearlywor kingoutt oo.Ist oppedl ookingatmeni n
thehouseofGod.Iapol ogizedt oGodf orgetting
distr
act ed.Af teraf ewhour st hechur chser vice
ended.Mr sBi ntroducedmet oasmanypeopl eas
shepossi blycoul dandsodi dZim.Thet all,
dar k
andhandsomemangoti ntohi scarandl eft
.We
alsogoti ntoourcar ,andZi mj oi
neduswhi l
ewe
justsati nit.Zim:" Didyouenj oyt heser vice?"Me:" I
did."
,Isai dwi thasmi l
e.Mr sB:" Iwaswor ri
edwhen
youwer ecr ying.Thewayyoumovedi twasas
thoughyou' df allandIwant edt ocomeshakeyou,
butthenIt hough, whoam It ointerruptt heHol y
Spiri
twheni t'
sitswor k",shesai dwi thasmi l
e.Zi m:
"Iwoul dn'thaveal l
owedhert ofal l
,Ma.I 'vegother ,
always" ,Ismiled.Me:" Thankyou.Idon' tknowhow
toexpl ai
nwhatwashappeni ngt ome.I twas. .
.i
twas
asifIl ostcont r
olovermybody.IsawMama
singingSi yakudumi sai nheruni formt oo, she
l
ookedl i
keshewasatpeace.I twasast range
moment "Mr sB:" It
'sGod, mychi l
d."Zi m:" Letmego
tomycarandgohome.Il oveyouguy.Dr ivesaf ely"
Me:" Zim, I'
m sorrythatyoucan' tseeyourmom
muchanymor eoutoff earofBongaseei ngyou
togetherandput ti
ngt woandt wot oget her "Zim:
"Girl
,I'm nofreebecausemom i sover protect i
veof
you.SoIhopei tlastsasl ongapossi ble", sheand
hermom bot hlaughed.Mr sB:Justgetoutofmy
carbef oreIdr i
veof fwhi leyou' rei nit",shesai dand
weal llaughed.Zi m:" Sot heot hergui ldersar e
askingwhenNt ombiwi lljointhechur ch,at t
end
classesandbeagui l
dert oo.It oldthem t hey
shoul dn'tworry,myr ecr uitmentgamei sst r
ong.We
areyett omakeoneoutofher ",webot hlaughed.
Mr sB:" Don'tpush, Zimkhi t
ha.Onef ruitf
ulser vice
doesn' tmeant hatNt ombii sr eadyf orsuchabi g
steppl ease,mybaby. ",shepl eadedwi thZim.Zi m:
"Oh,Mamaandbei ngser i
ous.Nt ombiknowst hat
I'
m notput tingpr essureonher .Letmegonow, I
gavepeopl eal iftsot heyar ewai tingf orme.Il ove
youguys" ,
shegavemeandhermot herbot hki sses.
Me:" Iloveyout oo"Mr sB:" Il
oveyoumor e.Zimmy,
whileyou' r
eher ewi t
hus, yourf utur emot herinl aw
call
edaski ngwhenwear est ar ti
ngweddi ngpl ans.
She..."Zim:" Bye" ,shesai dr ushi ngoutoft hecar
beforehermot hercoul dfinisht alking.Mr sB:
"Hawu, t
hischi l
d.Zi mkhitha! "
, sheshout efbutZi m
justwavedwhi ler unningt ohercar .Me:" She'llplan
whenshe' sready, Ma.Asl ongasherf ianceisokay
withthedel ay"Mr sB:" Ihearyou, Nanabutheri n
l
awsar ecal l
ingmenonst op.Herf uturemot heri n
l
awevenaccusedmeofnotwant ingmydoct or
daught ertomar ryherson.Sheneedst osorti tout.I
hatebei ngaccusedoft hingsI '
m notgui l
tyof.", she
saidwi thfrust r
at i
on.Ideci dednott osaymor e
becauseshei sr i
ght ,Zim hast osor touther
business.Iwantt ot alktoherandaskwhyshe' s
delaying.Ithi nkshemi gthavet rusti ssuesorf ears
commi tment .Per hapsshewaahur tbyanex.I
didn'taskMr sBaboutt hemanwi tht hegr eatvoi ce.
Ifear edshe' dshoutatmeandsayI 'vegot
unf i
ni shedbusi nesswi thBongabutI '
m al ready
l
ooki ngf orar eplacement .I'm notl ooki ngf or
replacement .ThedayIgetBongaof fmybackf or
good, willbet hedayt hatIswearof fmen.Idon' t
trustanymanandIdoubtt hatIeverwi ll
.Ican' twait
todumpBongaandf i
nal l
ybef r
eegomoveasI
please.Thef i
rstthingI'lldoi sappl yf oracer tif
icate
andI D.Ihaveaf eel i
ngt hatmyl i
fewi llstartfalli
ng
i
nt opl aceaf terwar ds.Todaywasagooddayf ormy
soul.Idon' tknowwhet heri twast heHol ySpi ri
tMr s
Bt alksaboutbutal lIknowi sthatIf eelbet ter
spiri
t uall
y, notheal edjustbet terthanIdi dbef ore
theser vi
ce.I '
m gl adthatIdi dn'tallowmyf earst o
stopmef r
om goi ng.Itwasgoodt obewi thot her
peopl e.West oppedf ortakeawaysandwenthome.
I'
vebeensl eepingsomuchbet t
ert oo.Knowi ngt hat
Iwon' tfi
ndsomeonesl appingmeawakej ust
becauset heyar ehungr y.Iwi shIcoul dsayt hatmy
troubl esar eoverj ustbyl eavingBonga.I twoul d
havebeenhadBongabeena" normal "per son, but
hei snotsoIknowhewon' tjustletmego.Hesees
meashi s" l
if
eline"insomesi ckway.I '
lljustenjoy
themomentwhi l
ei tlast sbecausechur chwasso
fullt
oday, someonewhoknowshi m mi ghthave
spottedhi m andcan' twai ttotellhi m.Iwi l
lnotthink
aboutt hatnowandmakemysel fsadt hough.Today
i
sahappydayandI '
llhangont ot hismomentf or
thelongestt imepossi blebecausei t'
llbeover
somedaywhenI '
mf or cedtodealwi t
hr eal it
y.MrsB
hasbeenwant ingtot akemet omymat ernal
grandpar entsburI '
m af rai
dt heywon' tbeaccept i
ng.
Ican'tgohomeei therbecauseI 'm sur eI '
m deadin
myf atherseyesf orwhatIdi d.I'lldealwi thBonga
andt hengetaj obandst udypar tt ime.Ican' t
spongeof fMr sBf oreverI 'm sureevenher
kindnesswi llstarttof adei fshef eelsI'mt aki
ng
advantage.
[
03/
28,
11:
16]Lynne:ELEVEN
Bonga

I'
m sti
lltr
yingtohealsomewhataftert
hatter
ri
ble
ordealthatcouldhavebeenavoi
ded.Ther
ear e
somest ubbor nwoundst hatref uset ohealbutIcan
notaf fordt olayi nbedal ldaywhenIhaveadebtt o
pay.Ihavebeenbackont hest reetsel l
ingdr ugst o
thosewhowanti t
, mostlyyout h.Themoneyt hatI
havebeenmaki ngi sjustnotenough.Ineedmor e
buthavenoi deawher etogeti t.Icouldgot oot her
drugl ordsandof fermydeal ingser vices, butt hat
wouldbet oor iskybecausei nt hisbusi nessyoucan
onlybel oyalt ooneboss.Shoul donef indoutyou
havebeensel li
ngdr ugsforot hersont heirt errit
ory,
awarmi ghtbr eakoutandIwi llnotbeoneoft he
survivorsofi t .Ihaveevent houghtofgoi ngi nto
otherf ormsofcr imesuchasbombi ngATM' sor
cashhei stsbutIdonothavet hebr aint opl ansuch
anddonothavemoneyt opaypeopl et odoi tforme.
WhatIcoul ddoi sgoar oundt oheari fanyoft hese
bigshott hugsar einneedofext r
ahandsf ortheir
bigjobs.Ihavet ri
edaski ngmyf ri
endst ohel p, but
suddenl yt heyal lhavepr oblemsoft hei rownt odeal
with.Nei theroft hem ar eevenwi ll
ingt ot akemei n.
Ihavebeenl ivingi nadumpwi thsomeaddi ct
cousinofmi ne.Icoul dgobackt otheEast ernCape
tomyext endedf ami lybutthatwon' tputf oodonmy
tabl
e.Ihavenotbeenabl et ogetbackatMrKonif or
i
njuri
ngme, butfornowt hati sthelastofmy
worries.Idon'thavemoney, nofri
endsandabi g
debthangi ngoverme.Myhust l
inghasal somadei t
i
mpossi bl
etolookf orNtombi .I
tseemsl ikesheis
notgoi ngtocomeback.Imi sshersomuch.Inow
knowf orrealthatIcannotl ivewithouther.I'
m st
il
l
angryather ,butIneedher .Iwillf
indawayt ogetto
her.Somet hi
ngt el
lsmet hatt hedamnDoct or
knowswher eshei s.Isuspectoneoft hosehomes
forabusedwomen.

Todayi sausualdayatt he“ off

ice”forme.The
mer chandiset hatIhadwassel lingquickl
ytoday.
It
'sagoodt hingbecausei fIgohomewi t
h
mer chandiseonceagai nt hatnogoodcousi nof
minewi llstealit
,hetri
edi tonceandI '
m notabout
toriskmaki ngmybossl oset r
ustinme.Heal r
eady
didnotwantmet odealwhenI '
m hur t
,butI'
m sure
hesawj usthowdesper ateIwasf orthemoney.I'm
sti
llsore,buttimewai t
sf ornoman.Iwasst anding
atmyusualspotwher emycust omer snormall
yfind
me.Ar egularcametobuyt heirusual
,thesedrugs
werekil
lingtheseki
ds,butiftheydon'
tbuy, Idon'
t
getpaidsoIcannotf eelpi
tyforpoordeci si
ons.
Skycamer ubbi
nghishandsandoccasi onal
ly
scrat
chinghi sf
ace,
clearl
yneedi ngafi
x.

Sky:“
Myman” ,hesai
dtryi
ngtoshakemyhandbut
Ij
ustlookedathi
m wi
thoutext
endi
ngminei
na
handshake.

Me:“I
'
m nottouchi
ngthosef
il
thyhands”
,Isai
dwi
th
di
sgustandhejustl
aughed.

Sky:“
Iknowsomethi
ngt
hatyoudon'
t”
,hesai
dwi
th
asmirkonhi
sface.

Me:“Hey,
justbuyandpisst
hefuckoff”
,Ishout
ed
athi
m.Hel aughedagai
nandIsuspectthathewas
al
readyhi
gh.
Sky:“
Wor donthest
reeti
sthatyouarelooki
ngf
or
yourgoose.Whati
fIknowwher esheis?”
,hi
s
wordssuddenl
ycaughtmyat t
enti
on.

Me:“Youdon'
tknowanyt
hing.Howt
hehel
lwoul
d
someoneli
keyouknow?”

Sky:“Youforgetthatsomeonel i
kemewoul dwal k
totheendsoft hewor ldtogetmoneyf orafi
x.WellI
walkedtotheendoft hewor l
dyester
dayandyour
goosewasi nsomel arnyplacewit
hsomeol dgirl
”,
hesaidandmyhear tst ar
tedtobeatfast
.Igrabbed
him byhiscl
othes.

Me:“
Tellmewhereyousawher
!”
,Ishout
ed.Hel
et
hi
mselfoutofmygr
ip.

Sky:“Notsofast
,fr
iend.Iwantsomet
hingext
raf
or
myi nf
ormati
on”
Me:“Ican'tdothat
.Doyouwantmet ogetki
ll
ed?
AnywayhowdoIknowt hatyouri
nfor
mati
onisreal
?
ForallIknow,youjustt
ryi
ngyourluck.

Sky:“Suityour
self
.I'
l
ltakeonebagoft
hegood
stuf
f”,hesaidwhil
erubbinghi
snose.Het
ookouta
fewdirtynotesofmoney.

Ihavenoopt i
onbutt otakehisdirt
ymoney
becausemoneyi smoney.HegavememoneyandI
gavehimt heti
khewascr avi
ngf orsobadly.My
i
nstinctt ol
dmet hathemi ghtreall
yhaveseen
Ntombi .Hedemandedext radrugsinexchangef or
whathehas.Ideci dedtogiveittohim.Iwillpayfor
i
tmysel fbecauseIcannotgobackt omybosswi th
ashor t
ageofmer chandiseandcash.Hewi l
lsayI
am stealingfr
om hi m.IgaveSkyhi sdamndr ugs
andhet oldmewher ehesawNt ombiandthi sother
oldwoman.Hecoul dnotdescribethewomant ome
butmanagedt otellmewher ehesawher .Iknow
theplacebecauseanol dcoll
eaguef r
om my
securityguar ddayswor ksatt hatcompl ex.What
wouldNt ombibedoi ngt her e?Ididnotevenwast e
anyt i
me.Igoti ntoat axiheadi ngst r
aightt ot hat
compl ex.If inall
yar r
ivedandIwasi nluckt of i
nd
myol dwor kmat eondut yont hatday.Hewas
happyt oseemeandhadi tbeenundernor mal
cir
cumst ancesIwoul dbet oobutIneedsome
i
nformat ionf r
om hi m.It oldhi mthatIam l ooki ng
formyl i
ttl
esi sterwhor anawayf r
om home.I
describedNt ombit ohi m andheknewwhoIwas
tal
kingaboutandj udgingbyhowf ondlyhet alks
abouther ,Isuspectt hathemi ghthavef eel i
ngsf or
her.Het ol dmet hathecoul dnotgi vememor e
i
nformat ionaboutheri nt ermsoft hehousenumber ,
tel
ephoneandsuchbecausehewoul dbeIt rouble.
Hesuggest edthatIgot ot hepol i
ceandonl yt hen
canheal lowmei nandt akemet oher .Iwasnot
aboutt ogot onopol i
ce.Iaskedwhoshei sl iving
withbecauseIj ustwant edt obesur et hatshei s
safe.Het oldmenott owor ry,t
hatshecoul dnotbe
mor esaf er.Hesai dhewasnotsupposet otel lme
thosedet ailseitherbutsi nceI '
m anol df r
iend
concer nedaboutmyl i
ttl
esi st
erhewoul dmakean
except i
on.Hedi sclosedt hatNt ombii slivingwi th
Mr sBam, akindwomanwhowor kswi t
ht hosewho
needt ot alktosomeone.Ioncesuspect edt hat
therapistbutt heni tdidnotmakeanysensef or
Ntombit obecar edf orbyr ichpeopl e.Whywoul da
womanbot herwi thanot hingl i
keNt ombi ?Orcoul d
shehaveof feredNt ombiaj obasal iveindomest i
c
wor ker?Iwassoconf used.“ I'
m sur pr i
sedyouraunt
didnott ellyout hatyoursi st erliveswi t
hher ”,the
secur i
tyadded.Appar ent lyNt ombiandMr sBam
tel
lpeopl et hatt heyar erelat ed.Thatcoul donly
meant hatt heyhaveacl oserr el ationshi pt hanj ust
empl oyerandempl oyee.Coul dMr sBam be
Ntombi 'smom' saunt ?Nt ombidoesnotknowmuch
abouthermot her 'sfami l
ysoi tmi ghtj ustbe
possible.Buti ft hatwast hecaset henwhydi dn' t
Mr sBam t akeNt ombibackhomebecausemyol d
fri
endher esai dNt ombihasnotl eft.Inf acthesai d
shewasi nside,buthecannotl etmei n.heof f
er ed
tocont acthert oaski fhecoul dl etmei nbutIsai d
no,shemi ghtrunagai n.Whi chi st rue.I fsheknows
thatI'm awar eofherwher eabout sshewi l
lrun
again.Ihadt obesmar taboutt his.Makehercome
homeonherown, butcl earlyI '
l
lhavet ogi veher
somemot i
vat i
onf i
rst.Ithankedmyol df ri
endand
l
ef t,promi singtor eturnwi thl awof f
icialst ocome
getmyunr uly“l
itt
lesister”.Ihaveaf ewf avorsto
cal linandgoodt hingIdi dnotwast et hosebecause
nowi st het i
met ocal linthosef avorst ogi ve
Nt ombisomemot i
vationt or eturnhomet ome.I
mi ghtevenhavet ochaset hosesquat tersaway
from mymot her'
sshackt heywer er enting.Ididnot
wantt ocont inuel i
vingt hereaf termyf at herkil
led
mymot heri nthatshack, butsi nceIcan' tgobackt o
myownhouse, itwi l
lhavet odo.IknowNt ombiwill
turni tintoahomet oo, shehasawayofdoi ngthat.
Iwi llsti
llmakeherpayf ormaki ngthosebast ards
hur t,butfornowIneedt ogetherhome.She
bel ongst ome, shewi llalwaysbel ongt ome.

NTOMBI

Aft
erthatpowerf
ulchur
chser
viceamont
hago,I
havebeengoingtochur
chwit
hMr sBsi
ncet
hen.I
don'tknowhowt odescri
bewhatIf eelwhenIam at
chur chthosef ewhour si
tfeel
sasi fsomeonewas
car r
yingmybur densf orme.Mr sBsaysbecause
Godi sdoingjustt hat,
butHedoesnotj ustdoi t
whenIam i nchur chbutHedoessoever yday.It
thinkIam st arti
ngt oseewhatshemeans.Whatar e
theoddst hatIwoul dbet r
eatedbyt hedaught erof
mymot her'
sbest ?Clearl
ythereissomet hingfar
great erthanwhatwecanunder standthatisleading
us.Thatpowerl eadsust opeopl eandpl acesthat
wer emeantt obei ngourli
ves.AnotherthingsIhave
l
ear nedf rom goingt ochurchisthatGodwoul dnot
giveyoubur denst hatHethoughtyoucoul dnot
handl e.Ihaveal sobeendr eamingaboutmymot her
mor e, It
hinkitisbecauseIhavebeent hinking
aboutheral ot.

TonightZi
m andIwentt oayout hchurchservi
ce.
TonightI
'm goingwithZi
mt oayout hservi
ce.The
Guil
derswillbeleadingt
heser vi
ce.MrsBisusually
backby3pm, butitwasal
ready16;45andshehas
notcomeback.I tisnott
hefirstti
meshei slat
e,but
sheusual l
ycal lst oletmeknowandherphonei s
off.Ical l
edZi m andshesai dhermom pr obabl yr an
i
ntoanol df r
iendandwentoutf orcof f
ee.Shet old
met otakemoneyf rom theemer gencycashj ar,she
willcallacabt opi ckmeup.Iagr eedbutIwasso
ner vous.Ihaveneverwentsomewher ealonebef ore,
butatl eastIdi dnothavet owor ryaboutBonga
seei ngme.Zi m cal l
edt hehousel andlineagai nt o
tel
lmet hatmyt axiiswai tingout side.Ihad
suddenl yhadabadf eeli
ng.Icoul dnotexpl ai nitbut
myi nsti
nctj ustt ol
dmet hatsomet hingbadwoul d
happen.Li keal waysIdeci dedt oi gnoremygut
feeling.Imean, whati sthewor stt hatcould
possi blyhappenatachur chser vice?Isett heal arm
andmademywayt ot hewhi t
ecart hatstoodi nt he
driveway.Thedr iverknewwher etogosi nceZi m
tol
dhi m.Hewasf ri
endl yandevenaskedf ormy
number ,butIwashonestwi thhi m andt oldhi mt hat
Ihadnophone.Wear ri
vedatt hechur ch,Ipai d,
thankedhi m andsai dgoodbyebef oregettingoutof
thecar .Ifeltpr oudofmysel fforwhatIhadj ust
achi eved,eveni fgettingonat axial oneisnor malt o
mostpeopl e,butt omei tisnot .Zim wasal ready
wai tingatt hedoorf r
ome.Iaskedhert ocal lher
mom agai n,butshesai dthatIshoul dnotwor ryher
mom i sfine.It houghtt hebadf eelingwoul dgo
awayonceIar rivedatchur chbecauseIt houghti t
wasj ustmyner vest akingover ,buti twasnot .I
tookadeepbr eat hwhi leZimt ookmebyhandand
l
edmet ot heseat sshekeptf orus, shel ikessi t
ting
i
nf rontthisone.Iscannedt hebui ldingf ort he
gent lemanwi tht heni cevoice, butcoul dnotsee
him.Zi m sayshei sf rom anot hercongr egat ionso
chancesofhi m comi ngtothei rsisunl ikely.She
thoughtIhavedevel opedal ovei nter estforhi m, but
thatwasf arf rom t het rut
h.Ihavedevel opedal ove
i
nt erestforhi svoi ce.Ionl ysawhi m once, i
nf actI
woul dnotbeabl etoi denti
fyhi m becauseIdi dnot
real l
ygetachancet olookathi m.Al lIknowi st hat
hehasabeaut i
fulvoi ceandt hathei st all,dar kand
handsome.Zi m sayshi snamei sLi yemaEl ephant .
Strangesur namef oraXhosaman, butZi m sai ditis
acommonsur name.Wewenti nsideandt he
ser vicestarted.JustwhenIt houghtt hechur ch
elder swer egr eatatpr eaching, theyout hpr oved
thatt heywer eaf or cet ober eckonedwi th.The
servicewassopower fulthatIwoul doccasi onal ly
l
iftupmyar msi npr aise, t
hathasneverhappened
before.Thepr eacherpr eachedaboutl oveandhow
weaspeopl e,especi all
yyout hhavet heincor r ect
meani ngofwhatl over eallyis.Hewentont ot ellus
mor eaboutt heloveofChr i
standhowwewi l
lnever
best ri
ppedof fthatlove.Mr sBoncement ioned
somet hingsi milar.Isatandcr iedbecauseIhave
beenbel ievingt heincor rectmeani ngofl ovef or
years.Ibel i
evedt hatl ovehur ts,nowsuddenl yIwas
hearingal lthegoodt hingsaboutl ove.Thati tisnot
supposet ohur t,t
hati tissupposet obeki ndandal l
othergoodt hings.Neveri nt hef ewt i
mesI '
vegone
tochur chhasapr eacherpr eachedt omysoul .The
youngpr eachersai dt hatal lwhoar er eadyt o
receiveandacceptt hel ovet hatGodhasbeen
givi
ngusshoul dcomef orwar d.If eltmyf eetmove
mef orwar d, i
twasast houghIhadnocont rolover
them.Mysoulneededt oseekandknowt henever
endingl ovet hispreacherwast alkingabout .Iknel t
i
nf rontwi thallotheryoungpeopl ewhor eceived
thewor dofGodt onight .Thepr eacherandot her
youngpeopl epr ayedf orus.I tfeltlikemybur dens
hadbeenl if
tedof fmyshoul der s.Itwasi nt hat
momentt hatIopenedmysel fupt odi scover ingt he
l
oveofChr ist.Themomentwher eIdi scover edr eal
l
ove.Theser vicecamet oanend.Zi m cal ledat axi
totakemebackhomeagai n.Shel istenedt oher
voicemai l
saf terwar d.Ist oodbesi deherand
noticedherf acegopal e.“Mamagothi jackedonher
wayhome, wehavet or usht ohospi talassoonas
possible”, shesai dwhi l
er unni ngt owar dshercar .I
fol
lowedbehi ndherhopi ngtoheart hatIhear d
i
ncor rectl
y.Mr sBhi j
acked?Wegoti ntot hecarand
spedof f.Nei therofuscar ingaboutwhet herornot
Bongahashercarf ollowed.Howcoul dsucha
spiri
tuallyf ulfil
li
ngni ghtendonsuchabadnot e?I
wasl ookingf or war dt otell
ingMr sBaboutt oday' s
milestonest hatachi eved, thebi ggestonebei ng
accept i
ngChr ist.Itookcomf or tinthef actt hatshe
wasi nhospi tal ,
itmeansshei sst i
llalive, per haps
hurtandmostdef initelyshocked, butshest ill
breathesorsoIhope.Iknewsomet hingwasof f,
butahi jacki ngwast hel astthi ngIwoul dhave
thoughtof .Zi m andIwer ebot hsi l
ent ,I'
m guessi ng
wear ebot hconf usedandst illinshockt ohearsuch
terribl
enews.Ihaver eadalotofst ori
eson
hij
acki ngfrom newspapersandhowhi ghhi jacki
ng
andsmashandcr abcrimesareinCapeTown, but
wheni thi
tscloset ohome,itputadi ff
erentt ypeof
realitytoi
t.Ar eal
ityIwouldnotwi shanyoneor
theirlovedoneseverexper ience.Toknowt hata
per sonyoul ovecouldbebadl yinj
ur edjustfor
drivingacarwant edbyt hugsmakesmesi ckt omy
stomach.Mr sBi sast r
ongwomant hough, Ihave
fullfait
hinherover comingt hi
s.
[
03/
28,
11:
17]Lynne:TWELVE
Mr
sB

Ileftworkabitlat
erthanusualtodaybecauseI
knewIwoul dhavegonehomet oanempt yhouse
sinceNt ombiwouldbemeet ingZim atchurch.Idi
d
notalwaysmi ndgoingbackt oanempt yhouse
becauseZi misatwor kmostoft het
ime, andshe
technicall
ydoesnotevenl i
vewithme, butIhave
gottenusedt ohavi
ngNt ombiaround.Shet al
ksa
l
otf orsomeonewhocl ai
mst obeshy.Iguessshe
justneedst obecomf ort
abl ear oundpeopl e.My
chi l
dhasevenpi ckedupsomewei ght .Nowshe
l
ooksmor elikehermot her.Ist illthinkt hatshe
needst ogobackhome, apol ogizet oherf at herand
tellhimt heact ualreasonwhyshel efthome.She
didnotl eavebecauseshewant edt o.Herst ep
mot her'sactionsdr ovet hepoorchi ldoutofher
ownhome.Iam sur eherf atherwi llforgiveherand
dealwi thhiswi f
e.Ihat epeopl ewhoar ecruelt o
i
nnocentchi ldren.Whycl aimt oloveamanwhen
youcannotl ovehi schildrenf r
om anot herwoman.I
alwayswi sht hatNt ombicoul dgohomewi thme
whenIgot oseemymot her .ThatwayIcan
i
nt roducehert ohergr andpar ents.Shedoesnot
seem r eadyf oranyoft hatevent houghIknowi tis
whati sbestf orher.Ihavest oppedsayi ngi ttoher
becauseIf earshewi llt
hinkIam t iredofher .Ialso
wishshecoul dgol ayachar geofdomest ic
violenceagai nstt hatboy.I tist heonl ywayhewi ll
knowt hatshedoesnotf earhi m, butsher efuses.I
mor et
hananyoneunder standhowshei sf eeling.
Abuser smakeyouf earthem somucht hateveni n
theirabsence, youf eelcaged.Youf eell i
ket heyar e
wat chingyou.Yout hinkaboutal lthebadt hings
theymi ghtdowhenyour ebelagai nstthem.ButI
haveal socomet ol earnf rom sessi onsIhavehad
withf ormerabuser s,thatmostar ecowar ds.Most
targethel plesspeopl eandi nstil
lfearint hem.One
saidhesl appedhi swi f
eonce, shedi dnotwai tfora
secondt imebecausesheopenedacaseagai nst
him.Ofcour sehespentaf ewdaysi nhol dingcel ls
andwasl etfr ee.Ourj ust i
cesyst em stilldonot
protectwomenandchi l
drenasi tshould.The
patientsai dhi swi fef orgavehi m, andhenever
agai nlaidahandonherbecausehewasaf raidof
goingt ojailandbehi tbyot hermenont hei nside.I
thi
nkBongaal soneedst oknowt hatNtombii snot
afraidofhi m, eveni fshehast oactt ough.Iknow
thathei slooki ngf orher .Hewentt oconf rontZi m
atwor k,andI 'm sur ethatcart hatIsawwashi m.I
thi
nkhewashopi ngt hatNt ombiwoul dat tendour
therapysessi ons.Ther ear esomanyt hi ngsIwi sh
Ntombicoul ddot obr ingpeacei ntoherl i
fe,butshe
needst obet heonet ot akeact ion.Ihavepl ant eda
seedi nhermi nd, i
tisupt oheri fshegr owsi tso
thatherl ifecant akeat urnf orthebest .Ial sowant
herbackatschoolnextyear .Assoonasshei snot
afrai
dtogopl aces,Iwilltakehert ogethernew
document sdone.Theonl ypl aceshegoest oi
s
church.Iseeabi gdif
fer encei nherbehaviort
oo
andshehasevenpr ayedf orusdur i
ngourusual
nightprayersessi
onsathome.Zi m andIhave
practi
call
ybecomest ranger st oeachotherbecause
wedonotwantt hisBongaboyt oseeust ogether
,
butwewoul dbothrathert hatbethecaset hansee
Ntombigobackt othatlife.

Mymi ndwasf i
ll
edwi thallsort
soft hi
ngswhi leI
l
aidinthehospit
albed.Thepol icehavebeen
askingmequestionsaboutt hehijacki
ngandIgave
them al
lthei
nformationthatIremember ed.One
hearsaboutt
heset hi
ngsbutnevert hi
nktheycould
happentoyou.Thoset hugscamef rom outof
nowhere.Thefactthatmymi ndwasal loverthe
placedi
dnothelpmuchei therbecauseIhadl eft
oneofmybackdoorunl ocked.Iwasshockedt hati
t
happenedwhiletherewereot hercarsont heroad
andnoonecamet ohel pme.Iguesst heyf ear
edfor
theirl
ives.Woul dt oobecauset heyhel dgunagai nst
myheadwhi l
edemandi ngmycarandal lother
valuables.Idi dnotevent r ytofightbecause
nothingmat erialisticiswor t
hmyl i
fe.Ihavet wo
girl
sIhavet obeamot hert oo.Zi m actslikeshe
doesnotneedmeal lthatmuch, butundert hat
toughgi rlext eriori sasof theart .Ialsoknowt hat
shehasherf ear saboutmar r
iagebecauseofmy
andherf ather 'shi st ory.Shehasneveradmi t
tedi t,
butamot herknowsherchi l
d.Iwi l
lwaitunt i
lshe
opensupt omebecauseshei sacl osedof fper son.
Ntombiont heot herhandneedsmeal otmor e.So
whent hoset hugst oldmet ogetoutoft hecarand
l
eaveever yt hingt hatwasi nit,Idi djustthat.Itwas
onlywhent heyspedof fwi ththecart hatanot her
mot ori
stcamer ushi ngt ome, of feri
ngherhel p.She
rushedmet ot hehospi talandof feredtocal la
fami l
ymember .IgaveherZi m'snu, ber,buther
phonewasof fwhi chwaswhatIexpect ed.Ilefta
voicemai l,soshe' dknowIam al i
ve.Goodt hing
Ntombii swi thher ,thatwayt heygett ocome
together,butsuchscar esmebecauseBongami ght
sti
llbef ollowi ngZi m.JustwhenIwasaboutt oover
thi
nkt hepossi bilityoft hathappeni ngmygi r
ls
walkedi n.theybot hrant owher eIsat.thelong,
ti
ghthugsIr ecei vedmadeever ythi
ngsomewhat
bett
er .Zim checkedmybodyf oranybruisesand
wound, t
ypicaldoct or,Iguess.Shei ssti
lli
nt r
aining,
buttomeshei sadoct oral readyandmanyr efert o
herasonet oo.It oldthem whathappened.
Hij
acki ngsar eanoshockeri nCapeTown, butin
cert
ai nsubur bst heyki ndofar ebecauset heyar e
knownas“ saf epl aces” .Iprayt oalivi
ngGod, Isaid
asilentpr ayerwhi lei
tal lhappenedandIknewt hat
myGodwasshi eldingmeandt hatiswhynot hing
happenedt ome.Iwasf i
nallyallowedtogohome,
andi tcouldnothappenf astenough.Weonceagai n
compr omisedNt ombi 'ssaf etybutthatwast hel ast
thi
ngonhermi nd.W ear ri
vedhomeandIwasput
onthecouch, withabl anketovermeandt eain
handbef oreIknewi t
.Nt ombiwentt othekitchent o
makesomet hi ngf orust oeat .

MrsB:
”Thi
shi
jackingshoul
dhappenagai
nift
hisi
s
howIgett
obetreated”
,Ij
okedandl
aughedal
one,
“
Toosoon?
”,Iadded.

Zim:“Waytoosoon.Somuchcoul
dhave
happened.
”,shesai
dwit
hanger
.

Me:“Butnothi
nghappened.Thecarandallel
secan
berepl
aced.Ntombi,whyareyousoquiet,my
l
ove?”,Isai
dwhilel
ookingather
.Shewaspeeling
something,myhousewasanopenpl ansoIcould
seeherintheki
tchenwhilei
nthelounge.

Ntombi:“Ihadabadf eeli
ngear li
eron,Ma.Ithought
i
twast henervesofhavingt otravelonmyown, but
i
tclearl
ywasnot .NowIj ustcannotshakeof fthe
feel
ingthatIam toblamef oralloft
his”
,shesaid
soft
lyandwascr ying.Shet r
iedtohideit
,butZim
andIbot hnoti
cedtears.

Zi
m:“Nowthatiscr
azy!Hij
acki
ngisverycommon,
unf
ort
unat
elyso.I
'm sor
rytobur
styourbubbl
e,si
s
butyoudonothavet
hepowertocontr
olpeopl
e'
s
act
ions”
,shej
okedandNtombismil
ed.

Mr sB:“
Perhapsyouri
nsti
nctwastryi
ngtowar n
you,butt
herewasnowayyouwoul dhaveknow
thi
swouldhappen.Justhear
ingyousaythat
breaksmyheart.Youmadeitsoundasifyouare
cursedandallwhogetcl
osetoyouaretoo.Stop
thatmental
it
y,Ntombi
kayi
se.”
,Isai
dinasterntone.

Ntombi:“I'
m sorry,
Ma.Itwasnotmyi nt
entiont
o
maket hesituat
ionmorei nt
ense.”
,shesaidin
whisper.Idi
dnotl i
kebeingsternwithher,
butshe
cannotpossi bl
yblameher sel
fforsomethingli
ke
thi
s.

Therewassi l
enceint hehouse.Iwoul
dnotsayi t
wast ensi
on,butithadclearl
ybeenalongdayf or
al
lofus.Zimt oldmet hatNtombihasopenedher
heartmoretobui l
dingarelat
ionshi
pwithGod.Iwas
happyt ohearthat,
andIam sur ehadt
hisinci
dent
nothappenedNt ombiwoul dhavebeenexci t
ed
abouthernewspi ri
tualj ourney.I'
m notsur eifshe
willcont
inuet oat t
endchur chwithusori fshewi l
l
fi
ndanot herspi r
itualhome.Iatt i
mesf eelli
keIam
notdoingenoughf orher ,butIdon'tknowwhatel se
todot ohelpher .Zim sai ditisbecauseNt ombihas
tomeetmehal fway, shei stryi
ngthatIknow.My
girlj
ustneedsmor etime.Nt ombiexcusedher sel
f.I
thoughtitwoul dbet heper f
ectti
met otal
ktoZi m
aboutherweddi ngpl ans, butshecoul donceagai n
notgetawayf rom mef astenough.Sheal so
excusedher self,sayingshei sgoingt oshower
sinceshewi llbespendi ngt henighther e.

NTOMBI

Iwentt othebedroom andjustsatont hebed, deep

i
nt hought.I'
m notblamingmysel ff
orthehi j
acking
becauseIr eal
lyhadnocont roloveri
t.Ijustcannot
helpbutfeelguil
tythough,i
twasast houghMr sB
knewt hatIfeell
ikeIcurseeveryonewithjustmy
presence.IguessIhavel etitslipdur ingoneofour
sessi ons.Sheadvi sedt hatIembar konaj our neyof
selflove.Howdoesonedot hat?Idon' tl
ovemysel f
becauseIbei ngoutt hewor sti npeopl ebyj ust
existing.Iknowt hatsoonevenMr sBandZi m wi ll
gettiredofme.It rymybestt onotmakeabur den
ofmysel fbydoi ngmybi tar oundt hehouseand
obeyi nghouser ules, nott hatt her eareanybutt here
arejustcommonr ulesi never yhousehol d.The
j
our neyIhavedeci dedt oembar kon, isoneof
spiri
tualheal t
h.I fIcannotl ovemysel f,Iwillgive
God'sl oveachance.Ist illfeelempt yinside, l
ike
therei saver ydar khol einmysoul .Yes, Il
augh
mor enow, butIcannotshaket hef eelingof
sadnessof f.Idon' twantt ogohomebecauseIam
ashamed.I nt her uralar eawhenyoucomef rom a
cit
y, youneedt ohavesomet hingt oshowf orit.I
l
eftanobodyandi fIr eturnIwi llstil
lbet hatno
body.If eelstuck.Mr sB' scol leaguehasadvi sed
hertoputmeonant idepr essant s.Sher efused,
sayingt hatIam notdepr essed.I 'm start
ingt ot hi
nk
thatIam.Mr sBbel i
evest hatonceal lthebur densI
havebeencar ryi
ngar oundal ltheseyear scoul dfall
from myshoulders,Iwillbewell.Fr
om menot
beingabletohealfrom mymot her'
sdeath,tomy
familysi
tuati
on,toBonga' ssaga.Shebel i
evesI'm
notdepressed,butcarryingtoomuchemot ional
l
oad.Iwi l
laskhertoputmeonant idepressants,
maybet hevoidwillgoaway.Idonotwi sht o
somedayhavesui cidalthoughtsandactont hem
again.Zi
m walkedi nl
ooki ngforadrytoweli none
ofthewar dr
obes.

Me:“Zim,don'
tyouwantt omar r
yyourperson?
”,
sheturnedtof
acemequi ckly.Shewasnot
expecti
ngthequest
ion.I'
m sureshewil
ltellme
exactl
ywheretogetoff.

Zi
m:“Ilovehi
m, Ntombi.GoodnessIl
ovehi
m so
muchbutI..
.I
'm soafr
aid.
”,shesai
dandcametosi
t
onthebedwithme.

Me:“
Scar
edofwhat
?”
Zim:“Whatifhei sl
ikemyfat
her
,Itermsofbei
ng
abusive?Mamasai dTatawassoftspokenandki
nd.
Zweliisli
kethatbutwhatisamonsterhi
des
i
nside?”,shesaidsoft
ly.

Me:“Ir
eadsomewherethattherei
samonst er
i
nsi
deofallofus,t
hatweallhaveabadside.
Di
ff
erenceissomeactontheirbadbehavi
oralot
morethanother
s.”

Zim:“
Thatdoesnottakemywor r
iesaway,Nt
ombi.I
thi
nkthatIevengotthegunjusti
ncasehet r
ies
something.
”,herwor
dsleftmeconcerned.

Me:“
Didyout
ell
him yourf
ear
s?”

Zim:“
Yeahbutyouknowt he“Iwouldneverlaya
handonyou”speech.Maybeevenhedoesnot
knowthathei
sabusive,
Nt ombi
.ItseemslikeI'
m
surr
oundedbydomest
icvi
olence,
sowhywoul
dit
nothappent
ome? ”

Me:“Andmyissuesaddontoyourfear
.Maybeyou
guyscantr
yther
apytoget
her
,li
kethosecoupl
e
sessi
ons”

Zim:“ Ihavehadenoughoft herapytolastmea

l
ifeti
mebecauseoft hei ssueswi thmymom and
dad.Zwel iandIwi l
lsor tthisout ,somehow.Don't
wor rybecauseyoual readyhavesomuchonyour
plate.Wehavet ogetyourt hingsinorder,Nt
ombi
sothatyoucanst artvar sit
ynextyear .”
,shesaid
tryi
ngt otur nt
heat tent i
ont omeandawayf rom
here.“ Youcannotconst antlylockyourselfi
nthis
houseoutoff earofwhatt hatpi gmightdo.Iknow
I'
mt hel astonet otalkaboutf ear,butyoursis
puttingacompl etest andstillonyourlif
e.Lif
ewaits
fornoone.

Me:“
Iknowandyouar
eri
ght
.Iwi
llwor
konmy
f
ear
sbutyouhavet
ooaswel
l.
”

Zi
m:“
Letmegoshower
”

Shest ood, tookat owelandr anoutoft hebedroom.

IhavenotmetZwel i,
butjudgingfrom whatZim
tel
lsmeabouthi m, heseemst obeagoodenough
person.Mr sBl oveshersoont obesoni nlawto
bit
s.Ican' twai ttomeethi m.IhopeZi m getsover
herf ear.Thephoner annonst opandIst oodto
checkwhyi ti
snotbei nganswer ed.Zim wasst i
lli
n
thebat hroom havi ngashowerandMr sBwasf ast
asleep, Ithinkt heygavehersomet hingatthe
hospi t
al.Idon' tusual l
yanswert helandlinephone
becauseIhat et alkingont hephone, buttheperson
ont heot hersi dewasnotgi vi
ngup.Per hapsitis
thehospi talt ryingt ocallZim,butcan'tgetholdof
heronherpr i
vat ephone.I

Me:“Hel
lo”
,Isai
dassoonasIputi
tagai
nstmy
r
ightear
.Ihopemyhell
osoundedf
ri
endl
yenough
t
otheper
son.

Bonga:“I'
m comi ngt ogetyout omorrow.Donot
crossme, Ntombi kayise.Idon'twantt odoworset
o
yoursocalledaunt .Ar ewecl ear?”,
hesaidinacol
d
tone.If
roze.Icoul dnotspeak, Ihel
dont ot
he
phonesot ight
ly.“Arewecl ear,Ntombikayi
se?
”,he
askedonceagai n.

Me:“Ye..
.yes”
,Isai
dtryi
ngnott
ocry.I
tfel
tasi
fa
heavylumpwasst uckinmythr
oat
.

Bonga:“ Good,girl.Iwillbewaiti
ngout si
deyour
compl exbutatadi stancefrom morning,i
fyousay
anythingortryt ogot ot hepol
ice,someonei nyour
newf ami l
ywilldie.Ifyouar enotoutbynoon
tomorrow, Iwi
llcal li
nf avor
sagain”,hethreatened
beforeendingt hecal l.

Ist
il
lhel
dthephonet
omyear
.If
eltnumb.SoIwas
ri
ghtwhenIsai di twasal lmyf aul t?I
under estimat edhowgangst erBongai s.Ifhecoul d
orchest rateahi j
acking,itmeanst hathehangsout
withsomer ealt hugs.Nott hesmal lt
ownonesI
thought .Iputt hephonedownandwentt owher e
Mr sBwasst illsleeping.Idonotevenhavet othink
aboutwhet herornotIwi llfoll
owBonga' s
i
nst ructi
onsbecauset hepr iceofmenotf ollowi ng
them wast oobi g.Icouldl oset hepeopl ewhohave
shownmenot hingbutki ndness.I '
m sur eMr sBwi ll
behomet omor row, soIhavet omakeapl ant o
sneakout .IfIt ellherwhati sgoi ngon, shewi l
ltell
met ogot ot hepol i
ce.I'
mt ooaf raidofwhatBonga
mi ghtdot ot hem.Iknewt hattheywer ebet terof f
withoutmeanyway.Thi sl i
feisj ustnotf orpeopl e
l
ikeme.Ideser vet obewi thpeopl eli
keBonga.I
slowl ywal kedt ot heroom andcl osedt hedoor .I
kneltdownandpr ayed.Myhear twasheavywi th
bademot i
ons.Ipr ayedt oGodf orst r
engt htodeal
withBongaonceIgobackhome.Ipr ayedt hatI
returntochangedman.Bonga' sabsencei nmyl ife
sinceIl eftbr oughtmenot hingbutpeace.Igot
undert hecover sandl etoutasi l
entcr y.Ipr etended
tobeasl eepwhenZi m walkedin.,Icannott ellher
eit
her.Bongai sclearlyadanger ousman, heisal so
mybur denandIr efusetomakehi mt heirburden
too.Iwillsneakoutandgohomewi t
hhi m.Iwi shed
thatthesunwoul dneverrisebecauseIdonotwant
togobackt herewhenIhavemadesomuch
progress.Idonotwantt obegi venar easont hat
mightpossi blymakemeangr yatGodagai n.Bonga
wouldal soneveral l
owmet ogot oanychur ch,
especiall
yaf t
erleavinghim.IguessIi ndeeddo
belongtoBonga, andthereisnot hingIcandoabout
i
t.Icurset hedaymypat hcr ossedwi t
hhi s.
[
03/
28,
11:
17]Lynne:THI
RTEEN
NTOMBI

Icriedsil
entl
yalmostallnightunti
lIeventual
lyfel
l
asleep.Zim wasfastasleepsoshedi dnothearme.
Iwasnotsur pri
sedthough, herhoursatthehospital
arecrazy,shealsohasherchur chcommi tments
whenshei soff
,shehast omaket i
mef orher
mot herandpartnert
oo.Nowondershesl eeplike
thedead.Ial
solai
dawakethi
nkingabouthowIwi
ll
sneakoutofthehousewi
thoutMrsBnotici
ng.

Zim wasnotnextt omewhenIwokeup.Iwentt o

thebathroom tobr ushmyt eethandwashmyf ace
beforegoingt ohel pwithbreakfast.Iwenttot he
kit
chent oseei fZim wast here,butwasgr eeted
withanot ethatr ead“I'
m offtowor k,seeyouguys
l
ater.Il
oveyou”st uckont hef r
idge.Iopenedt he
fri
dgetot akeouteggsandmakeMr sB'sfavor i
te
omelet.Zim'snot egavemeani dea.Iwentt othe
l
ounget ot akeapaperandapent owr i
teanot ef or
Mr sB.ifIdon't,shemi ghtthinkthatsomet hingbad
happenedt ome.IknewwhatIwant edtowr i
tebutI
couldnotgetmysel ft
oputi nkonpaper .Istartedto
notedownexact lywhati sonmymi nd.

“
DearMa.

Fir
stl
ythankyousomuchf
orallt
hatyouhavedone
forme.Youhaveshownmelovebyopeni
ngyour
houset omewi t
houtexpect inganyt hingi nr etur n.
Youhavehel pedmegetabi tcl
osert oGodand
taughtmet hei mpor tanceofpr ayeri nj ustt heshor t
amountoft imeIhavebeenwi t
hyou.I fmyf at her
hadmar ri
edawomanl i
keyouaf t
ermymot her '
s
death,Isur elywoul dnothavef oundmysel fwi thout
aplaceofbel onging.Noot herwomanbesi det he
womanwhogavebi r
tht omehasshownmet he
l
ovet hatyouhave.Youwer enotevenobl igat edt o
doal lt
hatyouhavedone, yetyoudi danyway.That
i
swhyIwr itethisletterwithaheavyhear t.Ihave
decidedt ogobackt oBonga.It houghtt hatIcoul d
l
ivewi thouthi m,butIcan' t.Ilovehi m al otandcan
notseeaf uturewi thouthim.Thankyouf or
everything,butlifewi thouthi misjustnott hesame.
Pleasedonott r
yt olookf orme.Thi sismychoi ce,
andIaskt hatyoupl easer espectit.Pleaset hank
Zimt oo.HadInotmether , Iwouldnothavemet
you.Ilovet het woofyousomuch.Goodbye. ”

ThatwasallImanagedtopendown.Par tofmy
wordsbei
ngutterl
ies.Idon'
tloveBonga,Idon;
t
wantt ogobackt ohim, myl i
fewit
houthimis
compl ete,i
tispeacef ul.Butforthesakeofthe
peopl ethatIlove, Ihavet ogobackt ohim.MrsB
j
oi nedme, Ihidt henot ei nmygownpocket .She
wal kedtowar dsmeandl ookedint
omyeyes.I
coul dseet helookofconcer nonherface.I
remember edhowt er
ribleIlookedwhenIlookedi
n
themi rr
ort hi
smor ning, myeyeswer eredandpuff
y
from thecr yi
ng.

MrsB:“Ntombi,i
tseem thi
ssinusisgett
ingoutof
handnow” ,
shesaidwhilecuppi
ngmyf aceinher
warm hands.Ibr
eathedasighofreli
efbecauseshe
thi
nksmysi nusi
sactingupagain.

Me:“Iknow,Ma.ButIt
hinkthist
imeitmightbe
somethingIat
eatchur
cht hatImightbeal
ler
gict
o”,
Il
ied.

MrsB:“
LetmegowakeupZi
m,maybeshewi
ll
knowwhatt
odo.
”
Me:“
Shehadt
oleaveear
lyf
orwor
k,Ma”

MrsB:“Letmegocal landmakeanappointmentfor
youwit
hmydoct orthen.Icannotr
iskhavinga
chi
lddieonme.Allergi
escanbedeadlytoo.What
wouldIbeifIhadtomour noneofmychildren?
”,
shesai
dwhi l
ewalkingtowardst
hephone.Mr sB
hasherdramati
cmoment s.

Me:“I'
m sureIwouldnothavebeenablet
obr eat
h
hadIr ant
heriskofthi
sall
ergyki
ll
ingme,Ma.Iwill
takethoseall
ergyt
ablet
sthatyougotme,they
alwayshelp”

MrsB:“ Yes,
butyouhaveneverlookedli
kethat
befor
e.Swolleneyes?Iwi
llnotbetol
dwhatt odo
ei
ther.Iam t
akingyoutoadoctorwhetheryouli
ke
i
tornot ”
Me:“Okay,Ma”,
Isaid.IactasifIgetannoyedat
hert
reati
ngmel i
keachi l
d,wellsometi
mesi tcan
beannoying,
Imost l
yenjoyitbecauseIfeell
ikeno
oneevergavemet hechancet obeachildaftermy
mom died.

Shewentt ocal landmadeanappoi ntmentatnoon.

Ther ei sst i
llpl entyoft imet odoal lthatIneedto
l
ikemaki ngbr eakf ast,cl
eani ngandsneaki ngout .
Mr sBal sot alkedaboutsor tingt hingsoutwi thher
i
nsur ance.Imadebr eakfastandweat ewhile
wat chi ngt her epeatsofourf avor i
teshows.Ther e
wasal oudbangout si
deandMr sBj umpedupf rom
herseati nf r i
ght .Istoodt ocal m herdownandt old
heri twasnot hing.Ihat eBongaf ordoi ngthistoher.
Shecl earlyi st raumat i
zedbywhathappenedbut
tri
est ostayst rong.Shest artedcr yingwhenshe
realizedt hatshehadshownweaknessi nfrontof
me.Ihel dhert i
ghtandcomf ortedher .Iwasnot
aboutt ot ellhert ostopcr yi
ngbecausesheneeded
toleti tallout .Thi si
st hef i
rsttimeshehasshown
anyf orm ofr eact i
ont othehi jacking.Shewast rying
tonotbr eakdown, butshenol ongerwasabl eto.A
partofmeevengr atefulthatIwast heoneshe
trustswithhervul nerabili
ty,butt heot herpar tfelt
guiltybecauseshewoul dnothavebeenl iket hi
s
hadInotcamet ohi deinherhouse.Imadeher
camomi l
et ea,shesai dithel pshercal m downwhen
shei sstressed.Shel ookst ired, Isuspectl ackof
sleep.Iwoul dnotbeabl et osl eepi fthugshadguns
againstmyhead, demandi ngmyt hi
ngs, t
hingst hat
Iwor kedhar df orthatt heyf eelent it
ledt o.Myhat e
forBongai ncreased.Thedoct orgaveherpi ll
st o
calm herdown, butMr sBr efusedt odr inkthem l ast
night,sayingshedoesnotneedt hem.Sheasked
forthem t odayandIgavet hem t oher .Ihat ethatI
wi l
lhurtheraf tershehadgonet hroughsucha
terri
blething.Ileftherwat chi ngTVandwentabout
doingmi norchor esl i
kewashi ngt hedi shesweat e
i
n.t heladywhocl eansdoesnotcomei never yday
anymor e, whichwor kedwel lforme.Iwentt obat h
andgetr eadyt oleave.Mymi ndknewi twasbest
thatIleave, butmyhear twant edt ostay.Il eftthe
noteont hebedwher eMr sBwoul dbeabl et ofindit
wi t
hease.Il eftmycl othesbecauseBongawoul d
bur nal ltheni cecl othest hatgotf rom Si ndi .I
wal kedt othel oungeseei ngi fIwi l
lfindan
oppor tunit
yt ogowi thoutt hel adyoft hehouse
not icing.Ifoundherasl eepandhopet hatshewi ll
sleepf orlongert hanshedi dlastni ght .Ilookedat
andat earrolleddownmycheekandmor esoon
followed.Iputmyhandovermymout ht obl ockany
soundf rom comi ngf rom i tandr esul t
ingi nher
waki ngup.Iwi pedmyt earsof fandki ssedher
forehead.Shewasi nfrontofmebutImi ssedher
already.Il ookedar oundt hehouset hathadbeen
homet omef ort hepastf ewweeks.Iwasgr ateful
toGodf orallowi ngmet of indr est,eveni fitwas
j
ustt empor ary.Ican' tbel i
evingt hatIam t hanking
Him, becauseusual l
yIwoul dbecur singGod.I t
showswhatagr eati mpactMr sBhasonme.Iwi l
l
tryt opr ayevenwhent hingsar etough.I twi l
lnotbe
easy, butI'm suret hist ool eadst oadest i
nation.I
j
ustpr aythati ti
snotabadone, onewher eIendup
hur tingBongaoutofhat r
ed.Iwal kedoutoft he
house, l
ockedi tandt hrewmyt hrought heki tchen
window, hopingi tdi dnotmaket omuchnoi se.I
wal kedt othecompl ex'ssecur it
yar easl owl y.My
bodywasf eelingnumbyett i
red.Thesecur i
tywho
haddevel opedacr ushonmecameoutsmi li
ng,
tell
ingmet hatmybr otheriswor ri
edsi ckandhei s
wai t
ingout side.Het oldmeabouthowheand
Bongahadknowneachot herf oryear snot .Ididnot
saymuch.WhatcanIsay?Hel etmeout sidethe
compl exar ea.Il ookedbackl iket hosepr isonerson
movi eswhost epoutofpr i
songat esforthef ir
st
ti
meont heirreleaseday.Theonl ydiff
erenceme
andt hem i sthatIdi dnotwantt ogobecauseIam
goingst raightt oprisonaf terthisandbeBonga' s
prisoner.Thesecur it
ypoint edt owher emy
“brother”st oodwai ti
ngforme.Bongast oodwi t
ha
bigsmi leont heot hersideoft her oad.Hewal ked
closerandIf eltlikevomi ti
ng.Het hankedt he
secur i
tybef oregi vingmeat i
ghthug, t
oot i
ght.

Bonga:“Sisi
,neverdothattomeagain.IknowIam
toostr
ictsometimesbutitisonl
ybecauseIlove
you”,
hesai dwith“concer
n”
Securit
y:“Ntombi,ki
dsar eoutofhandnow
becausetheirfamili
esall
owt hem togetawaywi t
h
everyt
hing.Pleasebegratefulthatyourbrother
l
ovesyouenought odiscipl
ineyouwhenyouar e
wrong.Thati sl
oveandi twil
lteachyour espectso
thatwhenyouar emarri
edyourhusbandwi ll
appreciat
eyou” ,
hesaidwhi l
elookingatme.If elt
l
ikeslappinghim.

Bonga:“
Thesepeoplewantednothi
ngtodowithus
whenourmotherdi
es,nowt heywantt
oplayhappy
fami
ly?”
,headdedtohisl
ies.

Securi
ty:“
Ineverthoughtt
heBam' sweresocruel.
Toleaveyoursister
'ski
dstosuf
ferwhiletheyl
ive
wit
hther i
chwhi t
es?Youdidwellbytaki
ngyour
si
ster,
brother
”

Bonga:“
Thankyou,bro.Letusgo,Ntombi.Thanks
onceagai
n,man.I'
m gladmyl i
tt
lesist
ersaw
thr
oughthem t
oo.Shealwayswant edtomeetthem,
nowshehasdecidedt ocomehome.Iam notangr
y,
Ntombi.MamaleftyouinmycareandIwil
lnotgo
agai
nstherdeat
hwi sh.
”

Thel evelofBonga' sl i
eswassohi ghthatIsuspect
hemi ghthaveaPhDi nmani pulationandl yi
ng
science, aqual i
ficationheal oneknowswher ehe
got.Tol i
etohisf r
iendandsayt hatIam hi ssist
er
andt hatMr sBwasanauntwhoabandonedus
afterourmom di edwasj ustsi ck.Thismani ssi
ck
andneedsdel i
ver ance.Wel efttot hetaxirankand
goti nsi dethet axiandi tdroveof f.Hesai dwe
arrivedhome, buti twasnothi sol dhouse.He
appar entlynowl ivesi nashackbecauseofme.He
toldmehi sentirest oryaboutMrKonial most
havi nghi m kill
ed.Iwi sht heyhadsucceeded.I
hatedt hatIhadsucht hought sbutnoonewoul d
havemi ssedhi m.Thi nkingaboutt hatnightangered
him.Iknowhi m bynowandsoonhi sangerwas
takenoutonme.Hesl apmemeaf ewtimes.Idid
nowcr y.Het henhuggedmewhi l
ecr yi
ngandsai d
hewassor r
yandhowmuchhemi ssedme.He
kissedmewi thhist obaccoandal coholmi xtur
e
breath.Ipushedhi m awaybuthesai dhemi ssed
me.Heal soblamedmef ornotbei ngabl etoaf for
d
attr
actingothergi rl
sbecauseal lhi smoneygoest o
hisloan.Sohei swi l
li
ngt oset tl
ef orboringme.He
undressedhi msel fandme, Idon'tknowwhyIf elt
numb, Ididnotwantt his, buttell
inghi mt hatmeant
maki nghim angr y,andr esul t
inginhi m hurti
ngme.
Hedi dwhathewant edf inished,notbot heredabout
mywel lbei
ngatal l
.Heusedacondom, Iguesshe
doesnotwantt ogetmepr egnantbecausehe
knowsIwoul dloset hatbabyanyway.Iwasatl east
safef r
om what everdeceasehemi ghthave,butI
didnotwantt osleepwi thhi m.I '
m doi ngittokeep
thepeace.Hi sbadscentcl ungt omyski nandi t
mademesi ck.

Bonga:“Youarestil
lassti
ffandboringinbedas
ever.Idon'
tevenknowwhyIbot hered.”,hesaid
tr
yingtobreathnormall
yagain.ThatiswhyIj ustgo
getsexelsewhere.Youaregoodforot herthi
ngs.
Youcant hankyourluckystar
sthatIloveyou
enoughtowanttokeeparound.Nomanwoul d
standbei
ngwit
hawomanwhoi ncoldinbed,
buti
t
i
st i
meyoulear
n”,hesai
dwhi l
elaughing.

Het urnedandl ookedt heot hersi deandf ellasleep.

Istoodandt hatfeelingofcompl eteempt iness
cameback.It ooksomewat erf r
om t hebucketi n
the“kitchen”,andpour edintot hesmal lplast ic
buckett hatwasatt hecor neroft heshack.I
washedBonga' ssmel loffmyski nIhadnothadsex
i
nal ongtime, soIwassor e.Thef actthathedi d
notbot hertopr eparemybodyf ori tmadei twor se.I
missedhomesomuch.Bongasai dIwi llhelphi m
payhi sdebt.Iwoul di fheal lowedmet ogof i
nd
wor kandmakemoney.Hebl amesmef or
everything.Idon'tknowhowhi m goi ngt ocause
chaosi nanot herman' shousei smyf aul t
.Weal l
knowMrKoniwoul ddoanyt hi
ngf orhisgi rls,
perhapsevenki ll
.Nowbecauseofhi sf oolishness, I
havet ostaywi thhimi nashackt hatisnoti nthe
bestcondi ti
on.Iknewr eal
itywoul dcomef orme,
butIhopedi twoul dnotbet hissoon.I '
m sur eMr s
cannotbeli
eveIl
eftl
ikethataft
eral
lshehasdone
forme.I'
m sur
eshethinksIam aungrat
efulperson.
IhopethatsomedayIwillbeabl
etogoapologizeto
her.

MRSB

Ilai
dont hecouchf eelingabi tashamedf or
breakingdowni nfrontofNt ombil i
ket hat.Wi t
hall
sheisgoi ngt hrough, thelastthingssheneedsi sto
worryaboutmet oo.Igotupandwasst i
llfeeli
ng
ti
red.Per hapsI '
m st i
llshakenaboutt hehijacking,
butIdoubtIneedpsychol ogicalhelp.Ithappened
onlyyest erday,soiti snormalt obej umpy.Iwentt o
Ntombi 'sroom totel lhertogetr eadyf orher
doctor'sappoi ntment .Icall
edouthernamewhi l
e
openingt hedoor ,ther oom isempt y.Iwoul dhave
seenherhadshebeeni ntheki t
chensoI '
m sur e
sheisbat hi
ng.Iknockedont hebat hroom, butno
response.Iopenedt hedoort of i
ndt hebat hroom
empt ytoo.Myhear tstart
edt obeatf asterbecauseI
knowshecan' tbewithZim.Iranaroundeachr oom
i
npani cli
keamadwoman.Wher eismychi l
d?I
wenttoherroom againtocheckifherclot
hesar e
there,
allofi
twas.Ilookedaroundandfounda
l
etteronthebed.Ireaditandfel
ltothebedduet o
sadness.Ical
ledZi
m' sworkandaskedf orher.I
tol
dherwhathappened.

Zim:“I
'
m sadtoo,
Mamabutwecan' thel
pNt ombii
f
sheisnotwi
ll
ingtodoi
ttoo”
,herwordslef
tme
moresad.

Me:“ Don'tspeakasifyouwi llneverwantt ohelp

heragain, Zi
mkitha.Thisisaper sonwhohashad
thewr ongunder st
andingofloveandwor t
halmost
allherli
fe.Don'tyourememberhert el
lingust hat
shef eel
sl i
kesheisnotwor thyoft heloveand
kindnessweshowedher ?Shei sbroken.Howcoul d
shenotbewi thherli
festorybeingasi tis?”,
Isaid
whilecrying.
Zim:“
Ihearyou,Mamabutatt heendyouhavet o
rememberthatNtombiisanadul t
.Ifshecoul d
l
eaveanote,itshowsshewasnotf orcedtogo.
Whenshesomedaydeci destoputanendt oital
l,
sheknowswher etofi
ndus.I '
m sorry,Iknowitis
notwhatyouwantt ohear,butiti
sthet rut
h.Ihave
togonow,it
'sbusyhere.Iloveyouandseeyou
l
atert
otalkaboutthi
s”,shesaidandendedt hecall
.

Thel ackofunder standi ngZim hasf orthissi

tuati
on
mademydayevenwor se.Isometimeshat ehow
shecanusel ogicandi sunabletoconnect
emot ionall
ytosituationsandemot ions.Iknowt hat
Ntombii sanadul tint ermsoft helaw, but
emot ionall
ysheisst illascaredyounggi rl
.Onewho
hadbeeni ntr
oducedt opainfrom anear l
yage,iti
s
allthatsheknows.Thi sBongamusthavef ounda
wayt ogett oher.Iwoul dknowbecausemyl ate
husbandhadhi st r
ickst oo.IknowwhatNt ombiis
goingt hrough.IwasaNt ombionce.JustwhenI
thoughtshewoul dhavet hecouraget ogethi m
arrestedthishappens.Hi sholdoverheri smuch
str
ongert hanIt hought .Idonotevenknowwher e
thi
sboyl i
ves.I '
m surehehaspuni shedherbynow.
Thet houghtofi tmademecr y.Shecoul dbel ying
somewher einapoolofherownbl oodnotbei ng
abletomove.Ical l
edacabt ocomepi ckmeup.I
wentt ogetr eadywhi l
ewai t
ingf ori t.Ifinishedand
gotpickedup.Thesecur itywhoi sal waysf riendly
withmegavemeat ti
tudeoram Imi staken.I
decidednott owor ryaboutsuchnow, I'
m sur eI 'm
j
ustst ressed.Iwentt ot hepolicest ationt oopena
caseofassaul tonBonga, butgott oldNt ombii sold
enought odoi therself.Whathasbecomeofsoci et
y?
Can'tamot herdosuchonbehal fofherchi ld?They
saytheywi l
lnotwast est ateresour cesonl ytohave
Ntombidenyever ythi
ngbecausehadshewant ed
helpshewoul dhavecomeher self.If elthelpl ess.I
needt of i
ndher ,andl ookheri nt heeyeswhi leshe
tel
lsmeher selfthatitwasherchoi cet ogoback.I
cannotbeanot herper sonont hel istofpeopl ewho
l
etherdown.Sheneedst oknowshehasot her
opti
ons.Thatboyhadbet ternothavehur therorso
helpme.Ihat eabuser s,Ihatet hepowert heyhave
overtheirvicti
ms.
[
03/
28,
11:
18]Lynne:FOURTEEN
ZI
M

Ilovedt hei deaofhavi nganot hergi rlinthef amily,a

sisterbutnowNt ombihaschosent ogobackt o
thatpi g.Ijustdon' tunder standwhyshewoul ddo
sucht oher sel
f.Hedoesnothaveanyt hingnewt o
offer.IloveNt ombi butherweaknessupset smeat
ti
mes.Howhar dcangoi ngt othepol iceandget ti
ng
Bongaar restedbe?Ihadt helocksi nmymot her'
s
housechanged, j
usti ncase.Nt ombil eftherkey,
butonecanneverbet oocar eful.Whati fherpl an
wast ocomei ntomymot her'shouseandcheckout
whatshecoul dst ealandsel lformoney?Idon' tli
ke
thinkingt hewor stofher ,butitiscl eart hather
l
oyal ti
esar ewi thBonga, notus.Mymot herhas
beent el
li
ngmet hatI '
m bei nginsensi t
iveandt hatI
willneverunder standwhatNt ombii sgoi ngt hrough
becauseIhaveneverbeeni navi olentr elati
onship.
Shei sal sodet ermi nedtof i
ndNt ombi .Shecal l
ed
themanwhobr oughtNt ombit oherhouseMrKoni ,
andwassadt oheart hatt heynol ongerl ivednext
tohishouse.MrKonit ol
dherthatBongai smost
probablyhidingint hedarkestcornerofani nf
ormal
settl
ementandt hechancesoff indingNtombiare
closetonon.Ihaveneverseenmymot herthi
s
heartbroken, wellIhavebutnotoverast r
anger.
Shef eel
slikeshef ail
edherl at
ebestf r
iend.

Imetupwi thmyfinanceZwel iforlunch.Ourwork

schedulesaredonotallowust ospendmucht i
me
together
.Wemakeuseofanygapweget .Iwas
goingonandonaboutt heNtombisi tuat
ionandI
couldseethathewasl osinginterest
.Ididnotl
et
thatstopme.Iconti
nuedt otalk,Ineededtovent
.

Zwel
i:“Zi
mkhit
ha!”,hessaidoutloudandever
yone
l
ookedatourtable.Heclenchedhisjawand
br
eathedoutslowlywhil
ehi seyeswerecl
osed.

Zim:“
Didyouhavetospeaksol
oudly?Nowwe
haveanaudi
ence.
”,Isai
dinafr
ust
ratedwhi
sper
.
Zweli
:“WhatwasItodouh?Youkeepgoi
ngon
aboutthi
sNtombigi
rl
.Wehaveourownissuest
o
di
scuss,man”,
hesaidcal
mly.

Zim:“I
'
m sorry.I'
mj usttryi
ngtounderstandthi
s
enti
resi
tuat
ionwi thNt ombi.Whywouldshego
back?”
,mywor dslefthim si
ghi
ngloudly.I'
m
annoyi
nghim.

Zweli
:“Donotj udgeasi
tuat
ionyouhavenever
beenin.youhaveneverbeeninanabusive
rel
ati
onship.Sohowonear t
hwouldyouknowwhat
thepoorgirli
sgoingthr
ough?”

Zim:“
WellIhavenotbeeni
noneyet
,butyounever
know”,
Imumbl ed.

Zweli
:“Whati
sthatsupposet
omean?Doyou
ser
iousl
ythi
nkthatIwouldhi
tyou?HaveIgi
ven
your easont obeli
evethat?Youhaveseenmewhen
Iam angr y,Zimkhit
ha.Idon'tevenknowwhyIkeep
explainingmyselftoyou.Ireall
ywanttomakeyou
mywi febutthisisbeyondmycont rol
.Youare
quickt opointoutotherpeople'
sshort
comingsbut
noonecandot hesamet oyoubecauseZi mkhi
tha
Bam i salwaysr i
ght.
”

Zi
m:“ Idon'
tthi
nkthatwearer
eadyformarr i
age.
Wehaveal otofissuest
hatwefi
rstneedtosort
out
”,Isaidandhegavemeal ookofdisbel
ief.

Zweli
:“Youhavei ssuest
osortout
.Ihavet r
ied
hel
pingyou, butyoudonotwantmyhel p.Andyes,
maybewear enotreadyt
ogetmarried.
”,hi
swor ds
l
eftmecr ushed.

Zim:“Okay!Marr
iagei
sover
ratedanyway.I
'
m not
themakotitypewhowakesupat4am tomakef ood
for20inlawswhilet
heysi
tli
kekingsandqueens
anyway”
Zweli:“Youactual
lyneedtoknowyourwayar ound
thekitchentobeabletomakef oodinthefi
rstpl
ace
andwebot hknowyoudon't.Iwil
lnotgeti
ntothi
s
pett
yf ightwi
thyou.Iti
schil
dishandyouare
l
ookingf orwaystoinsul
tme, sothatt
hetopicwil
l
shif
tfrom youtome. ”

Zim:“ Justgoandheretakeyourr
ingwi
thyou”,
I
saidandt ookofftheri
ngandputiti
nfr
ontofhi
m.
Hel aughedindisbeli
ef.

Zweli
:“Sothisisi
t?Youar ewill
ingtot
hrowwhat
wehavedownt hedrai
n,justbecauseyouref
useto
admitthatyouhaveissues?Ifyoukeepthi
sup,you
wil
lendupal lal
one,Zi
mkhi t
ha.”

Zi
m:“
Rat
heral
onet
hanbest
ressedbyaman”

Zwel
i
:“Wow!
”,hesai
dbef
orest
andi
ngandl
eavi
ng
meal
one.

Iwat chedhi m wal kawayunt ilhewentoutt hedoor .

WhathaveIdone?If eltmyhear tbr eakintoa
thousandpi eces.Idi dn'texpecthi mt ojustgolike
that.Iagr eet hatI'
m nott heeasi estper sont obe
with, butI'mt ryi
ngmybest .Ihaveseenhi m angry
anddr unkandIhaveneveroncef eltli
keIwasi n
danger .Hei st hetypet owal kawaywhenhei s
angr yandr et urnwhenhei scal m sowecant al
k
thi
ngst hrough.Iknowt hisbutdeepdownI
somet i
mest ellmyselft hatitisallanact .Hewas
ri
ghti nsayi ngI '
m quickt oseet heshor tcomingsof
other sbutsl owt oseemyown.Notsol ongagoI
wast elli
ngNt ombit hatsheshoul df i
ndwayst o
healher selfsot hatshewi llnot“ bleed”onot hers.
NowIam “ bleeding”ont hemant hatIlove.Zwel ii
s
agent l
emanandsomeek.Yes, hehasmoment s
wher ehel oseshi scool ,butIhaveneverseenhi m
fi
ght .Iwantt obehi swi fe.Iconsi dermysel fa
femini standbel ieveinequalr ightsf ormenand
womenbutIwaswi l
lingt ofollowt radit
ionforhim
becausei tisi mpor tantt ohi m.Ihadevenobser ved
whileNt ombicookedaf ewt imest ogetani deaof
whatcooki ngi sallabout .Icannowcookr ice.Iwas
will
ingt obet heper f
ectmakot iforhi m.Ican
perhapsgetawaywi t
hbei ngamoder nmakot iat
hispar ent '
shousebecauset heylivei namoder n
urbanar eabutnoti nhi sf ami l
yhomest eadi nr ural
eDut ywa.Ther eIhavet obeaol df ashionedmakot i
.
Cookonopenf ir
e, wakeupear l
yt omakef oodf or
everyone, beonmyf eetal lday, etc.nowal loft hat
i
snotgoi ngt ohappenandIknowi tismyf aul t.My
fi
ngerf eltst rangewi thoutt her i
ng.Whatwi llItell
peopl eatchur chwhent heyaskwhyIam not
mar rying?NowMamawi l
lstressaboutmet ooas
thoughshedoesnothaveenoughonherpl ate
alr
eady.Shei salsoaf r
aidofdr i
vingnow, whi chi s
under standsaf terthehi jacki ng.Iset tl
edthebi l
land
l
eft.Isati nmycarandst artedt ocr y.Iwoul dr ather
l
etital loutnowt hanl osei ti
nf rontofot herpeopl e.
Idon' tlikeshowi ngweakness.I ttookmesi x
mont hsaf terbeingi nar elationshipwi t
hZwel itolet
himi nonmyf ami l
ypasti ssuesandIcr i
edt oo.I t
fel
tgood, yetforeign.Iam notaf r
aidofbei ng
vulner ablewi t
hhi m becausehemakesmef eelsaf
e.
Iheldont ot hest eer i
ngwheelandt houghtofwhat
thenextpossi blest ept of ixingt hismi ghtbe.I
decidedt ot ryther apyagai n.WhenIdi di twi thmy
mom i twast omendourr elationshi paf tersheshot
myf ather.Ididnotevenknowt hatZwel iwoul dbea
partofmyl i
fethen.SoIdi dnotknowt hatt his
mightaf f
ectmyr elati
onshi pst oo.Imadean
appoi ntmentwi thahi ghlyr ecommendedt herapist
.
Idon' twantt ol osemyman.Ihopemedoi ngt hi
s
willprovet hatt ohi m.Idon' tusual lyf eelt heneedt o
proveanyt hingt oanyone, butIl ovehi m.Ican' tcal
l
nowandt ellhimt hatIwi l
lgot ot her apyei t
her
becausehewi llthinki tisapl ant ogethi m back, not
thatwehavebr okenuporanyt hing.Iwantt obe
Mr sBam- Mahambehl al
a.Iam wi ll
ingt ogot he
extrami l
etomaket hathappen.Iwi l
lnott ellmy
mom aboutt his.Iwi l
lfi
xi tbef or eshecaneven
noticeanyt hing.Idon' tjustgi veupeasi ly.Ir efuse
tobeapr i
sonerofmypast , Isimpl yr efuse!

NTOMBI
AllIhavebeendoi nglat
elyiscry.Thisplacewher e
Bongaf oundabackr oom shackf orusinDel f
tis
notgood.Dr i
nking,smokingandf i
ghtingseemst o
beanor m here.Iwouldratherbeattheol dhouse,
butBongaf earsgoingbackbecauseIappar entl
y
tol
dMrKonit ohavehim kil
led.Hehasbeengi vi
ng
undiscl
osedmoneyt ohisloansharkever yweek.
Hekeepssayi ngthatsoonIh

wil
lhavet ohelphi m.Igetacol dchi l
ldownmy
spinewheneverhesaysi t,perhapsi ti
sthet onei n
whichhesaysi tin.Whati fhei splanningonki l
li
ng
meandsel lmyorgansont hebl ackmar ket?Maybe
Iam lett
ingmyi magi nat
ionr untoowi l
dbutIam
surewhathewant smet odoi scr i
mer el
ated.What
i
fhewant smet obeadr ugmul e?Isawhowt hat
l
adyhadf akedreadlockstryingt osmuggl edr ugs
ont henewsandr eadaboutgi rl
sswal lowingdr ug
fi
ll
edcondoms.Ishudderatt het houghtofBonga
maki ngmedosuch.Ihavenotst oppedpr ayingand
Imi sschurch.Bongat ri
edt osleepwi t
hmeagai n,
buthecoul dnotgetaner ect i
on.Ibel ievedt hati t
wast hepowerofpr ayer.Hi m notbei ngabl et oget
i
tupwasmyf ault,
li
keal lelset hati swr ongi nhi s
l
ifeis.Heaccusedmeofbewi tchinghi m.Sayi ng
thatIputsomet hingi nmywomanhoodandi tt ook
effectwhenhesl eptwi t
hme.Igotpuni shedf ort hat
too.Yest erdayamanwasdr agginghi sgi rlfr
iend
from at aver n.Hert highwasbl oodybecausei twas
rubbingagai nstthet arroad.Shewasapol ogi zing
nonst opbuthewoul dnotst op.Somany
communi tymember sjustst oodl ooki ng, evenmen.
Icr i
edwhenIsawhowsoci et ywasf ail
ingwomen.
I'
m sur eevenourl andlordhear swhenBongahi ts
mebutdoesnotevencal lthepol ice.Isi tevenf ai
r
ofmet oexpectt hem t ocal lthecopswhenImysel f
failtodoi tformysel f?Whoexact lyi ssupposet o
standupf orabusedwomen?Shoul ditbet he
womanorshoul ditbehercommuni ty?Wear eso
afraidofl eavingt hesemenbecausewef earwhat
theymi ghtdoshoul dt heyf indus.I si tokayf or
otherment owat chwhi l
eanot hermanhi tshiswi fe
andj ustsay“ whati sbet weent wopeopl eshoul d
remai nbet weent hem” ?Iknowt hatMr sBwas
will
ingtohel pmebutatwhatcost ?Shenearlypai
d
withherl i
fenotsolongago.I'
m keepingmy
distancefrom hertokeephersafe.Doesthatmean
thatIam f ai
li
ngmysel f
?DidIf
ailthatwomanf r
om
yesterdaybynotst oppingt
hebrutali
ty?If
eelso
helpless.Unabletohelpmysel
fandt hoseinthe
samesi t
uati
onasme.

Iwassi tt
ingdeepi nthoughtwhenBongawal kedin.
hewal kedi nsmilingsayingthathesol dallhis
stockandwasaboutt ogogetmor ef r
om hisboss.I
askedhi m howhemanagedt oor ganiseahi j
acking.
Het oldmenott oconcer nmysel fwi t
hthedet ail
s,
allIneedt oknowi sthathemi ghtnotbeabi gt i
me
gangst er,buthewi llf
indmeevenwhenIr unt o
Amer ica.It hi
nkheneedssomet raditi
onalrit
ualto
cleansehi mselfthisone.At r
iptohi sextended
familyi ntheEast ernCapewi lldohi m good.
Problem i sheisnotr eall
yafanoft hem andhe
woul ddi ebeforel eavingmeal one.Iwoul dnotbe
surprisedi fIseeapi ctur
eofhim on
Khumbul 'Ekhayasomeday.Heseemedsoj oyful
today,heevenbroughtmeachocolate,t
hosecheap
onest hatt
ast
eli
ket heycoat
edthem i
ncookingoil
.
IknowIsoundsnobbi shbutMrsBhasspoi l
edme
withthegoodstuff
.

Bonga:“
Don'tcook,
Iwi
llbr
ingbr
aaimeat
.”
,hesai
d
wit
hasmi l
e.

Ntombi :“Okay.Iwillcookanyway, j
ustincaseyour
happybubbl eburstsandyoudeci denott obuyt he
meat .Webot hknowyouwi l
lbreat
hfirewhenyou
don'tfi
ndf oodont het able.”
,Isaidbravely.Ihave
moment swhenIj ustdon' tthi
nkbeforet alki
ng.I
knowbet terthantosayt hingsthatmakemesound
“cheeky”ashewoul dputi t.

Bonga:“
Don'tbel
iket
hat,Ntombi.Isai
dIwillbuy
meatsowhatisyourprobl
em?St opmakingmeout
tobeadamnmonst erdammi t
”,hesaidwit
h
fr
ustr
ati
on.
Nt
ombi
:“Okay”

Bonga:“Sorememberwhenyousaidyou'
dhelpme
fi
nancial
ly?
”,hesai
dinasof
tvoi
ce.Isboybei
ng
seri
ous?

Ntombi:“
Youtol
dmeIshould.Sowhatwil
lyou
f
inal
lyall
owmet ogol
ookforadomesti
cwor ker
j
obintown?”

Bonga:“
Evenbett
er!Afr
iendofminetol
dmethat
somefoolcametothei
ragencyt
ol ookf
orawoman
tocar
ryhischi
ld”
,hesai
d.

Nt
ombi
:“Okay”
,Isai
dwant
inghi
mtof
ini
sht
alki
ng.

Bonga:“
Apparent
lyhehasaneggdonorandwant
s
tocombinehi
ssemenwi t
hthoseeggst
oforma
chi
ld”

Nt
ombi
:“Youmeansur
rogacy?
”

Bonga:“
Don'
ttryt
obesmar twit
hme”,
hesai
d
poi
nti
nghisf
ingeratme.“Butyest
hat
”

Ntombi:“
Soyouwantmetowai
tunt
ilhi
sbabyi
s
bornsoIcanbeanannyf
ori
t?”
Bonga:“Dammit,
Ntombimustyouruineveryt
hing.
Iti
syoursmartassmouththatmakesmel osemy
damncoolallt
hedamnt i
me.Justwaitunti
lIfi
nish
thenopenyourbi
gmouth.”

Nt
ombi:“Okay”
,Isai
dsof
tl
y.Idon'
twantt
oupset
hi
m anyway.

Bonaga:“Thi
sfri
endsayst
her
ei salackof
sur
rogatemothersi
nSouthAf
rica,
especial
lybl
ack
onesandt hi
smanwant sabl ackwomant ocarry
hisbaby.Apparent
lyhewil
lpayf oral
lhermedi cal
costsandwillgi
vehermoneysheear nsatherjobs
fort
hetimeawayf rom work.So,Iwasthinkingwhy
can'
tthatwomanbeyou” ,hesaidwi t
hexcitement.
Ishebeingforreal
?

Ntombi:“What
everyouar esmoki
ngismaki
ngyou
crazy,
stopsmoking.
..
”,Ididnotf
ini
shmysent
ence
becausehegrabbedmebymyaf ropuf
fsopai
nful
ly.

Bonga:“ Yougotmei nt
othisdamnmess, andyou
willhel
pmegetoutbecauseIdon' twanttodie.You
willdothiswhetheryouli
keitornotorel
seIwillki
ll
thatminddoctorladyandthenyou.”,hesai
dandl et
goofmyhai r
.

Ntombi
:“Youforgett
hatIcan'
tcar
ryanybabiesto
ter
m.Imighthaveami scar
ri
agesoonaft
erthat
babyi
sputinmywomb.I fyousai
dIshoul
ddonat e
eggst
henwewoul dhavebeenabl
etodoit,
butnot
t
his.
”

Bonga:“
Wel
lthi
sisj
ustascam.
”

Ntombi:“Hadyoudoneyourhomewor kyou'dhave
knownt hatt
histhingispr otectedwithal otofl
aws.
Ineedtohavegi venbi r
thtoal ivebabyatl east
once.Ineedtohaveacl eanmedi calbi
llandIwill
sureneedanondamagedwomb.Youdamaged
mineremember .Thatman' sdoct orwil
lreali
zeit
.I
knowthatyouar ecr uel
,butt owantt oconaman
whowant sababyi sjustevil.
”,hegrabbedmeby
myshi r
t.

Bonga:“
Idon'
tcareaboutadamnf oolwhocannot
getagir
lf
ri
endandmakeherpr egnant.LikeIhave
sai
d,donotworr
yaboutt hel
aw,someofusknowa
wayaroundit
.Iwil
lcal
linsomef avours”

Nt
ombi
:“Wel
lcal
lint
hosef
avour
stogi
veyou
moneytohelpyouwithyourdebt.Iwi
llnotdoit
”,I
sai
dbravel
y.IwasscaredbutIwasnotaboutt o
rui
nsomemanwhoj ustwantstobeadad' sl
if
e.

Bonga:“ Yout hi
nkyouar esmar t.Iseeyouhave
gottensnobbi shbehaviourfrom yoursocalled
family.Wellitisei
theryoudot hisoryougost and
i
nt hest r
eetsandsel lyourbody.Choose, Ntombi
areyougoi ngt obeaconar t
istorapr ost
it
ute.
Ther eisnotinbetween. ”
,hesaidwi thasmirk.I
spati nhisface.

Hesl appedmeonceandwasaboutt odomor e

whenhest oppedhi mself.Hebr ushedmyf acewith
hi
sf i
nger sandsai dthatIneedt ol ookdecentfor
whicheverj obIwi llchooset odot opay“ our”debt.I
hatedhim.Al lofmej usthat edBonga.If eltt
rapped.
HadInotf earedf orwhathemi ghtdot othewoman
Ihavegr ownt olove,Iwoul dhaver unaway.Iwoul d
havegonet ot hest r
eets.Iwouldr athersleepunder
afloodedbr idget hanher e.Ican'teventhinkof
goingt omymot her 'spar ent sbecauseIwoul dbe
puttingt hem i ndangert oo.Bongal ef tandsai dhe
willcomebackt ohearwhatmyansweri s.Wi thal l
thesef avour shekeepscal li
ngi n, hecan' tgeta
singleonet ohelpwi thhi sdebt ?Wher ear eallhis
socal l
edf riendsi nhi st i
meoft roubl e?Howwi l
lhe
goar oundt hest rictlawsofsur rogacy?I sheso
cruelast ol etmegetpr egnantknowi ngIwi lllose
thechi ld?Wher eonear thwi llhef i
ndachi ldthat
willposeasmi ne?Idon' tevenwor k,sowhatsal ary
ofmi newi llthismanhavet or eplaceonmy“ t
ime
offwor k”?Howwi llIpassal lthet estst hatneedt o
bedone?Thepsychol ogicalt ests, t
hephysi cal tests,
etc?Bongai sdumb.Dumbanddumb!Ther eisno
wayt hathewi l
lpul lthisof f.Iwi l
lal sonotsel lmy
body.Iwi llcutof fanyst rangeman' speni swho
want st oputi ti
nsi deofme.Whogi vest heper son
theysupposedl ylovesuchopt ions?Ei therwayi t
willbel ikesel li
ngmysoult ot hedevi l.Bonga
hastesme.I fIwasnotsur eoft hat ,Iam now.Iwi sh
Ihadneverr antoMr sB' st hatwaywe' dst il
lbeat
theol dhouseandhewoul dnothavehadt hisdebt .I
can'teverseem t omaket her i
ghtchoi ces.
[
03/
28,
11:
18]Lynne:FI
FTEEN
Bonga

Ihavebeenabusymanl ately.Fr om gettingWayne

i
nonmypl an,toget t
ingNt ombianI Dt obor rowing
achi l
d.Nt ombit hinksthatIam t oodumbt opul l
thisoff.Ihavebeenont heot hersideoft helawf or
yearssoIhavel earnedat hi ngort wof rom t he
streets.Waynedi dnotwantt obei noni t
.Clai ming
thathisr eligiondoesnotal l
owhi mt oo.SoIdi d
whatIcoul dbecausenooneget si
nt hewayofmy
things.Noonei sperfect.IfollowedWayneand
discover edt hathedoesnotonl yhaveonemi str
ess
butt woandt heyar emen.WaynePi ei san“ af t
er
nine”,amanwhosl eepswi thot hermenwhi l
e
mar ri
edt oawoman.Igotpr oofandshowedi tto
him.Poorguyl ookedl i
keai rhadbeenpunchedout
ofhim.Iaskedhi mi fhisreligional l
owedhi mt o
cheat ,especi al
lywi thanot hermanandt hatwas
whenIst ar tedtoheart he“ Ibegyou, don'ttellmy
wife.Iwi lldoanyt hingt hatyouwant ”speech.My
favoritelinebei ngt he“ever ythingyouwant ”
becausei tmeantt hathewasdesper atet okeephi s
i
nfideli
tyasecr et.Heshoul dneverhave
compl ainedt omeaboutt hismanwhoi s“picky”
wheni tcomest othewomanhewi sheswoul dcar ry
hischild.Thati stheot hert hingt hathasgotme
thi
nkingt oomuch.I 'mt ryingt owr apmymi nd
aroundt her easonwhyaman, abl ackoneatt hat
wouldwantast rangert ocar ryhischi l
d.Our
Forefathershadmul t
iplewi vesandt hereforemany
chil
dren.Howhast heAf ri
canmangonef rom such
tobeggi ngawomant ogetpr egnantf orhim?
Waynement ionedt hatitisabusi nessmanandsoI
assumet hathei swel lofmoneywi se.Suchmen
usuallyhavewomanf allpr egnantf ort hem f orf ree.
Nowhewant stogopaydoct or sandsomewoman
togetpr egnantf orhim.Maybesomet hingi swr ong
withhismanhood.Thatmademet hinkaboutmy
ownpr oblem.Ican' tseem t obeabl etomakemy
machi newor k.Ithoughti tist hel ackofbeaut yi n
Ntombit hatcausedi t,butIgotani cechi ckl ast
weekendbutst i
llnothinghappened.It hinkNt ombi
mightbeusi ngmut ionme.Mymanhoodl osingi ts
powerwi l
lhavet owaitfornowt hough.Iwi l
lal so
stoptryi
ngtothi
nkofreasonswhyt hatmani s
wastinghismoneyandtakeadvantageofi t
.WhatI
am sureofthoughist
hathisancestorsmustbe
turni
nginthei
rgravef
orhisinabi
li
tytof i
nda
womanandmakeherpr egnantnatural
ly?

Myphonerangwhil
eIwasbusyser
vingacust
omer
hi
susualdr
ug.I
tisWayne.

Bonga:“
What
?”

Wayne:“WellIwasablet
ousehi sdesperati
onto
haveablacksurrogat
etoyouradvantage.”
,hesaid
soundi
nglikehehadcommi t
tedthewor stpossi
ble
cri
me.

Bonga:“
Goodman.Iknewyouwoul dgooverand
beyondwhatIexpectofyou”
,Isai
dwithasmile.
Wayne:“NotthatIhavemuchofachoice.Sowhen
wi
llIgetthepict
uresof.
..
ofyouknow.
..
”

Bonga:“Youcheat i
ngonyourwi f
ewithmul t
iple
woman? ”,Iaskedandlaughed.“Youwillgetthem
thedaymyvol unt
eeri
schosent obethesurrogate
mot her
.”
,Iadded.Therewassilenceontheot her
sideoftheline.

Wayne:“Thati
soutofmycont rol
,B.hewillchoose
whohewant sbasedont hemedicalr
ecordofthe
womanandwhet herhethi
nkssheissui
tableto
car
ryhisbaby”,
hesai dwit
hanger.

Bonga:“
Youwil
lhavetomakesurethathechooses
her
.Makehersoundli
ketheeperf
ectcandi
dateand
al
soensuret
hathermedi
calrecor
dsareexcel
lent
”

Wayne:“
Idon'
thavethepowertodosuchatmy
wor
k.Thoseareconf
ident
ialf
il
esbet
weenthe
doctorandt
hepar
ti
esi
nvol
veddammi
t!
.”
,he
shouted.

Bonga:“ThenIwil
ljusthavetoleaktheconf
ident
ial
“f
il
es”thatIhaveonyout oyourwifeandfamil
y.”
.I
sai
dcalml y,

Wayne:”
Dammi t
,fi
ne!ButwhenIhavedoneasyou
want,
Iwantallt
heproof.
”,hesai
dcalml
ybutI
coul
dstil
lheart
heangerinhisvoi
ce.

ThisthingofWaynebei ngacl osetgaymademe

si
ck.Idon' thaveapr oblem withthosepeoplebutto
knowt hathehasbeenl ikethatandhi dingi
tis
creepy.Hei snotaf ri
endbutr atheran
acquaintance.Imeetal ltypesofpeopl eint
hehang
outspot s.Waynewi lll
earnt ocontrolhi
salcohol
becausehest ar
tedtalki
ngabouthi sj obwhil
edrunk.
Iwouldnothavebl ackmai l
edhim hadhenot
openedhi sbigmout h.
Isippedont helastbitofmybeerandst oodup
headinghome.IsawNt ombiappr oach, sheisal
so
goinghome.Shest artedwal ki
ngfast erwhenshe
reali
zedt hatIsawher .Wasshet ryingt orunaway
again?Ipi nnedheragai nstt hewallassoonaswe
enteredt hehouse.Ourl andlor
dwashandi ngher
clothesandi tseemedasi fshewant edt osay
somet hing.Iaskedi fshehasapr oblem, shesai
d
noandqui cklywalkedi ntoherhouse.If ixedmy
attenti
onbackonNt ombi .

Bonga:“Wereyoutr
yingtor unawayagain?Shoul
d
Icallmyfr
iendsandtel
lthem tofi
nishthatj
obsand
ki
llthatmi
nddoctor?
”,Isaidandti
ghtenedmygr i
p
aroundherupperar
m.Icoul dseethatshewasin
pain.

Nt
ombi
:“Iwasatt
hepol
icest
ati
on”
,shesai
dsof
tl
y.
Bonga:“What
?”,
Isai
dwhil
etaki
ngoutmypocket
kni
fe.Shewasshaki
ng.

Ntombi:“Iwenttheretofi
ndoutaboutt hecleaning
j
obIsawont henewspaper ,nottotal
kaboutyou” ,
shesaidquickl
y,tearsfor
mi nginhereyeswhi l
e
standi
ngagainstthewal l
.Iputtheknif
ebacki nmy
pocketandcouldseeherbr eathingoutinr
elief
.

Bonga:“ItoldyouthatIdon'
twantj
obsthatwi
llpay
asmal lamount.Ihavedecidedt
hatyouwil
lbea
fakesurrogate.
”

Ntombi:“Thatwon'twork.Iwon'thur
tmyselfby
getti
ngpregnantknowingIwi l
lloset
hechi
ld.I
wouldalsobehur t
ingsomei nnocentman.
”,she
saidandcried.

Bonga:“
Thewellbei
ngofanothermanshoul
dbe
thel
astt
hingonyourmind.Youdoingt
hisi
sint
he
besti
nterestofme, yourmansoyouwor ryabout
mywel lbeing.Don'twor r
y,baby.Thi
swillal
ljustbe
anact.Eveni fyoucoul dcarr
ythechil
d,youwoul d
nothavebeenr elat
edtoitanyway.Thatmanhas
eggsfrom anot herwoman. ”
.shelookedatmel ikeI
wasthedumbestper sonshehaseverseen.

Nt
ombi:“Hewil
lseethatIam t
ryi
ngt
oconhi m.
Whatyouaredoi
ngissendingmestr
aightt
ojai
l”

Bonga:“
Ohstopwiththedr
ama,youwon'tgot
her
e.
Thi
smani sdesper
ate.Hewoul
ddoanythingf
ora
chi
ld”
.

Ntombi
:”Whogivesyousuchpr
ivat
einf
ormati
on
aboutt
hisman,Bonga?Hi
m bei
ngdesperat
edoes
notmeanheisstupi
d.”

Bonga:“
Desper
atepeopl
ear
ewill
ingt
odothings
theynor
mall
ywouldnot,
somet
imesevenbenda
f
ewl
aws”

Ntombi:“
Surr
ogatesdon'
tgetpai
d,Ir
eadit
somewhere.Thepersononl
ycoverst
hei
rmedi
cal
bil
lsand.
..
”

Bonga:
”Di
dyounothearwhatIsai
dabout
desper
ati
on?Leavei
ttome.
”,Isai
dwit
hasmi
le.

Waynecal ledagainandi tpr ovedjusthowmuchhe

wantst okeephi sdi r
tysecr et.Hewor ksasa
recr
uiteratasur rogacyagency.Hef i
nds
candidates, doesthescr eening,casemanagement
andalsowor kswit
hl egal,givessuppor ttoparties
andalsowor kswit
hcounsel ors,
socr eat
ingaf ake
fi
leforNt ombit omakeherseem l i
ket heper f
ect
surr
ogat ei snotthatdiffi
cult.Hewi llhavetobr eak
manyr ul
esbutIdon' tcar e.Heal somanagedt oget
aprofessi onalatthesur rogacycl i
niconhi sside.
Apparentlyt hedoctorisagambl ersowoul ddo
anythingf oranext r
abuck.Wayneevenof f
eredt o
payt hemanf rom hi sownpocket .Ismi l
edal l
throught hephonecal l
.Ilovet hepowerIhaveover
NtombiandWayneal i
ttl
et oomucht ooadmi t.To
havepeopl edanceatyourt unei samazi ng,nowwe
alsohaveadoct oronoursi de.Waynewenton
abouthowt hemanandNt ombimustmeetsot hat
hecoul dgetmor ei nformat iononherandabouther .
Heal sost atedthatt heyneedt osi gnanagr eement
shoul dbeappr ovedbyt hehi ghcour t.Istil
lwonder
whyt hi smani sgoi ngt hroughal lthispai nfora
damnchi ld?Themanwi llbemaki nguseoft he
ser vicesof fer
edatt hesur rogacycl i
nicWayne
wor ksi nforsureandt hati smusi ctomyear s.
Waynesai dheal soseemsconvi ncedaboutNt ombi
butwi llonlymakeadeci siononcet heymeet .NowI
havet oprepareNt ombiandt eachherhowt olie
bef orehermeet ingwi tht hisman.Nowt hatwi llbea
mi ssi onallonitsown.Shei sterr
ibleatl yi
ng.Good
thingsheonl ywant st oseehernextweek.

NTOMBI
Aweekhasgonebysi nceBongahear dt hathe
coul dact uallypul lthisof f .Ican' thelpbutt hinkthat
somet hingwi l
lgowr ongandIwi llendupi nadar k
cellnevert oseesunl ightagai n.Bongadoesnot
car eatal l.Hedoesnotcar eaboutmeandhesur e
ashel ldoesnotcar eaboutt hemanhewant sto
con.Thi smanj ustwant sachi ld.Maybehehada
wifeandshedi edandbef or eshedi edshef rozeher
eggsandnowhewant stohaveachi ldwi thherasa
remi nder .Whati sIam r ight ?ThatmeansIwoul dbe
playi ngwi thabr okenman' sf eeli
ngsandhur thim
alloveragai n.Thel awst at escl earlythata
sur rogat eshoul dnotbepai d.Bongacannotseem
togett hatthr oughhi st hick, dumbskul l.Ifthisman
offer smemoney, wemi ghtbot hgetint otrouble
witht hel awbecausei tisnotl egal.Bongat oldme
whatt osayt oseem l iket heper fectcandi datefor
this.Appar entlyIhaveal readygonef ormedi cal
checkupandever ythingi sgood.Wher edoeshe
knowpeopl ewhodot hisf rom?Ar en'
tthesepeopl e
afraidt oloset heirjobs?Imemor i
zedt helieswel l
butIwasst i
llunsur eofi tal l
.ThatdaywhenIwent
tot hepol icest ationf oraj obIwast empt edt oopen
acasebutthengottheimageofMr sBbreaki
ng
downinfrontofmeandr eali
zedt
hatnextt
imeshe
wouldnotjustcr
y,shewilldi
eandIcoul
dnotriski
t.

Todayi st hedayIwi llmett hisgent l

emanwho
want sasur rogate.Ihopet her eissomet hingabout
met hathedoesnotl i
keandt henchooset ogof or
someoneel se,surelythereshoul dbebetteropt ions
outt her e.Icoul dnoteveneatandBongawas
aski ngmequest i
onst ochecki fIrememberwhat
het ol dmet osay.Idon' tstruggl ewithremember i
ng
thingsbutt hi ngsmi ghtbedi f
ferentwhenIam
bef oret heguy.Bongadr oppedmeof fatsome
placeandi ntroducedmet oamannamedWayne.
Het oldmet hatWaynewoul densur ethatthingsgo
wel l.Wewal kedinandheadedt owhatIt hinki s
Wayne' sof fice.Hekeptont ellingmet ocal m down
ort hemanwoul dseer ightt hroughme.Coul dhebe
Bonga' sinsideman?Hel ookssodecent .Why
woul dthel i
kesofhi m associ atehimselfwi ththe
l
ikesofBonga?Hehasar ingont oosomeani nghe
i
saf ami l
yman.Lookscani ndeedbedecei ving.We
steppedi nsideandat allmanst oodi nt hecor nerof
thewhi tepaint edof ficel ookingoutoft hewi ndow.
Heseemedt ohavebeeni ndeept houghtbecause
hequi cklysnappedoutofhi st hinkingst atewhen
Waynespoke.Het urnedt olookatmeandsmi l
ed.
Hel ooksf ami liarbutIj ustdon' tknowwher eIhave
seenhi m bef or e.Maybehehasoneoft hose
commonf acesbutwhenIgotacl oserl ookI
reali
zedt hatt her eisnowaysuchahandsome
l
ooki ngmanhadacommonf ace.Hi sski ni s
smoot h, hi
slipsnott oobi g,theupperl ipwasabi t
darkandt hebot tom oneashadeofpi nk, butnot
thatpi nkt hati ndicatest hataper sondr i
nkst oo
muchst rongdr inksliket hoseofBonga' st hatlook
l
ikeabur nwound.Hi swasper fect l
ybl endedwi t
h
thecol orofhi sski n,clear l
ynat ur al.Hemustbe
wor kingoutt oobecausehedi dnotl ookl i
keaman
whowasnegl ect i
nghi sbodyl ikeBongawhohasa
beerbel l
y.Whyam Icompar ingt hi sbeaut i
fulman
toBonga?Howcoul dIinsul thim andhi spar ents
l
iket hat ?Hehadhi sar m stretchedoutandhi sli
ps
weremovi ngbutIcoul dnothearanyt hing.Wayne
tappedmeonmyshoul derandIsnappedoutofi t
.I
awkwar dlyshookt hehandbef oremeandsmi l
ed.
Hissmi l
ehadf adedt hough.Hel ookssoi ntense.
Hei ntroducedhi msel fasLi yemaEl ephant .Iknow
thatname.Hei st hegent l
emanwhogoest oZi m's
chur chbutnott hesamecongr egat ion.Wi thso
manybeaut i
fulyout hatchur ch, whydoeshenot
chooseawi fetogi vehi m ki dst her e?HadZi m been
singleImi ghtevenhavenomi nat edher , nott hat
l
ovewor ksl i
ket hatbutst il
l.Hedoesnotsmi l
e
muchandl ooksoser ious.Waynet oldust ot akea
seatandMrEl ephantf irstof f
er edmeaseat .Hesat
downonl yaf t
erhemadesur ethatIwasseat ed
properly.Bongat hr owschai rsatme, hedoesnot
offermeseat .Ther eIgoagai ncompar ingt hem.I
thinkhadInotbeensoputof fbyl oveandmenI
woul dhavebeensmi tt
enbynowbutIknowt hat
menar epi gssoI 'm sur eevenhehasapi glike
behavi orundert hathandsomenessandgent l
eman
manner s.Isnappedoutofmyadmi ri
ngst ateand
focusedatt hebusi nessathand.Iwasnotaboutt o
tellhimt hatwehavemut ualpeopl ef rom hi schur ch.
I'
m notevensur et heknowst heBam' sthatwel l
.He
startedt ospeakandhi svoicehadsuchcommand.
I'
m sur eIwoul df eelhi spresencei nacr owdt his
one.Themeet i
ngpr oceededandheaskedmeal ot
ofquest ions.Waynewentonabouthowhe
personal lymadesur et ochoosemebecauseIam
thebestper sonf ort his.Appar entlyI'
m
psychol ogicallyf i
tandphysi callyhealthyand
strongt ocar ryachi ld.Ifeltapai ni nmyhear twhen
hesai dt hatbecauseIwi shnot hi
ngmor ethant obe
fi
tandheal t
hyenought ocar ryachi ldofmyown
someday.Al lofthisi sgoi ngagai nstwhatGod
woul dwant ,especi allybecauseIam doi ngt histoa
manwhoi sabel iever .I'
m sur ehesai dapr ayer
beforecomi ngher easki ngt hatIbet heonet ocar r
y
hischi l
d.WhenIhear dthathehasbeenl ookingf or
asur rogat eforayearnow, myhear tbroke.Wayne
wassuchanact or.HadInotknownanybet t
er ,I
woul dhavebel ievedhi m.ThemanevenshowedMr
Elephantapi ctureofmyt hreeyearol dson.Mr
Elephantl ookedatt hepi ctureandsmi l
ed.I
answer edhi squest ionswi thnot hingbutl i
es, the
onlytruthIt oldhi m wasmyname.I tseemedas
thoughhehadaskedal lhisquest ions.Het ookmy
fi
leagai nandl ookedati t.
Liyema:“Uhm. .
.SofarIam happy.Youmeetal lt
he
requi
rement sofwhatIwantf r
om asur rogate.How
doyouf eelaboutthis?”,
heaskedandl ookedatme.
Iopenedmymout hbutnowor dsescapedi t
.Hei s
thefi
rstpersont oaskmehowIf eelaboutthis
wholethingandIwi shIcouldtellhi
mt hetruth,t
he
wholetruthandnot hingbutt
hetr ut
h.

Nt
ombi
:“Uhm.
..
”

Wayne:“
Shewantstohelppeopl
esuchasyour
self
.
Thati
swhysheishere”
,hesaidandl
etoutaweir
d
l
augh.

Li
yema:“ Howdoyouf eel
aboutt his?Youmi ght
haveachi l
dbutyouhavenevercar riedonefor
anotherperson”
,hesai
dstil
llookingatme.I twas
asifhedidnothereawordWaynesai d.Il
ookedat
Waynewhowasgi vi
ngmet he'don' tyoudaretel
l
t
het
rut
h”l
ook.

Ntombi:“
Iwanttodot hi
s,MrElephant
.Iknowt he
j
oyachi l
dbri
ngstoapar entanditwouldbr
ingme
gr
eatjoytobeabletogiftyouandothersaf
teryou
withsuchagi
ft”
,Isaidwi t
hastif
fsmile.

Li
yema:“Yousoundli
keyouarereadi
ngascri
ptor
somet
hing.HadInotknownbett
erIwoul
dthinki
t
wasal
lrehear
sed”,
hejokedandWaynelaughedso
l
oudl
y.

Wayne:“
Soaf t
erallt
hesemont
hs,
Ithi
nkNt
ombii
s
aperf
ectfi
t.Don'
tyou?”

Liyema:“Wel lIl
ikewhatIseeonhermedi cal
records,sheisclear
lyhealt
hyenought ocarrya
child.Shealsoseemsst abl
epsychological
ly.She
answer edallmyquest i
onssat
isf
actoryandt his
agencyhasagoodr eput
ati
onandIhearyouhave
hel
pedmanypeoplef
indtheperfectsur
rogate.Now
wecangivet
heladyachancetoaskquest i
ons.”,
he
sai
dlooki
ngatme.Am It
hisladyhet al
ksabout?

Wayne:
”Wedel
iveronl
ythebest
.”
,hesmi
led.

Nt
ombi
:“I
fyouchooseme,
whathappensnext
?”

Liyema:“ WellWaynesayshehashadt hel egal

peopl etalktoyouanddi scusst
hecontractwi t
hyou.
Itisbasicall
yjusttoavoidanycompl i
cati
ons.You
willknowt hatittouchesonwhatwillhappen.Ihave
aneggdonorj ustsot hatyouwi
llnothaveany
genet i
clinktothechi l
d.Theagr
eementi nwi t
hint
he
l
awt herefor
eitwasappr ovedbythecour t
.Allwe
needt odoi stalkaboutitandsi
gnshoul dwebot h
behappy. ”

Wayne:“
Soshei
sit
?”
Liyema:”Yeah,Il
ikeherener
gy.Sowhynot
?”,he
saidsti
llwithaseriousl
ook.Waynesmi
leas
thoughhehadwont hel
ott
o.

Wayne:“
'Letusgett
heballrol
li
ngthen.Therei
sa
babyt
obemade” ,hejokedandlaughedalone.

Li
yema:“Thereisanotherthing.I ti
snotont he
contr
actbutIwouldreall
ylikei ttohappen.Ther ei
s
hormonaltr
eatmentsyouneedt otakefir
st,so
befor
ethatIwanttoaskt hatyoupl easefol
low
cl
eaneatingmealplanandsi nceyouwi l
lbeli
ving
wit
hmef orthedurati
onIwi lljoinyou”

Ntombi
:“Li
vewi
thyou?
”,Il
ookedwi
thhi
m
conf
used.

Li
yema:“Youdidnottal
kaboutthatpar
toft
he
agreementwit
hher?Iknowthatyouarewor
ried
aboutyourchi
ldsi
nceyouareasinglemom but.
..
”
Wayne:hel i
veswi t
ht hegrandmaint heEastern
Cape, he'l
lbefine.MissPot i,
MrElephantjustwant s
i
tt obeeasi eronyoubot hwhenyouneedt ogosee
thedoct orandsucht hatwayyouwon' thaveto
travelal
lthewayf r
om t hetownshi
pt otownallthe
ti
me.Wedi scussed, shewassoner vouspoort hing
musthavef orgott
en.”,helaughedaloneonceagai n.

Wesatandspokef ormor et hant hr eehours.Thi s

wasal lj
ustt oomuchf orme.Li yemaexpl ainedi tal
l
stepbyst epbuti twasst i
lltoomuch.Iappar ently
willbeputonbi r
thcont rolpillsfirstforaboutt wo
week.Whywhent hepointi st ogetpr egnant ?My
headwasspi nningandIf eltlikeIwasgoi ngt o
burstavei n.Healthyeat i
ng?Ihaveneverbeenon
suchat hing.Ican' tdothis.I twillallbackfi
re,Ican
feelit
.Iaskedt ogoovert heagr eementagai nandI
thoughtMrEl ephantwi l
lgetangr yandt el
lmet o
keepmywombhewi l
lfi
ndanot herbuthewas
understanding.Hewasgoi ngt ocompensat eme
weeklysinceWaynet oldhi m Igotpai dweekl yfor
l
ossofi ncomesoIcancont inuesendingmoney
homet omy“ chil
d”.Ifeltsobad.Toknowt hatt he
moneywi llgot oBongaeachmont hmademesi ck.
Itwasnotevensomuchmoneyt ocoverhi sst upid
debtanywayThi smandoesnotdeser vethis.Ican' t
doit .Af t
ermanyhour swef i
nall
ywentoursepar ate
ways.Bongacoul dnotwai ttohearabouti t.It
ol d
himt hatIwon' tdoi t
.Hedi al
edanumberonhi s
phoneandhel ditagainstmyear .Asof tvoice
answer ed, i
twasMr sB's.Shekeptonsayi ng“hel lo”
untilsheendedt hecall.Tearsfl
ewdownmycheeks.
Het ol dmet ochoosebet weenthestrangerwi th
moneyorMr sB, heknewwher emyl oyalti
eswoul d
l
ie.Imi ssedhersomuchandhear inghervoi ce
madei twor se.IaskedBongawhatwoul dhappeni f
Ireal l
ygotpr egnant?

“Yourwombwoul dgetri
dot hatt hi
ngevenbefor
e
youknowi tisther
e”,heanswer edjoki
ngly.
.sohe
doesnotcar eaboutthehurtthi
smi ghtcauseme
physical
ly,
ment al
ly,
spir
it
uall
yoremot i
onall
y.He
didnotcarethatIwouldbest ayingattheman's
house.Hewasgl adt oheart hatt hereisanent ire
processt ogot hroughbef oret heembr yoisact uall
y
puti nmywombbecausei tmeanmor emoney
bef oreIevengetpr egnant .MrEl ephantsai dhewi l
l
compensat emeevenwhi leIunder got hi
streat ment
bef orepr egnancy.If eltnumbanddumb.I t
suddenl yf eltisifIneverr eadupont hissurrogacy
thing.Atl eastIwi l
lgetabr eakf rom Bongabecause
Isai dIhavenof ami lyt hisside.I '
m atBomga' s
mer cyandal lIcandonowi ssi tandwat chwhi leall
thishappens.Waynemustbewel lconnectedi nt hi
s
i
ndust ryoft hei rsandt her emustbemor ecor rupt
onesl i
kehi m.Bomgamusthavedonehugef avors
fort hesepeopl efort hem t orisksomuchf or
someonewhodoesnotpayt hem.Foral lIknowt his
Liyemai sal sobr eakingsomel awst ohavet his
happenbecausehehasj ustmetme.Shoul dhenot
gat herhisowni nformat i
onaboutmeout si
deoft hat
whi chWaynepr ovided?Orper hapst hepoorman
reallyisj ustdesper at ef orachi l
d.Hesayshei snot
mar ri
ednordoeshel ivewi thawoman.Hel ives
alone.Sowhywoul dhewantt obringachi ldt oa
homewi thoutamot her ?Canachi ldbehappywi th
j
ustherfatherandnotknowingwhohermot heris?
Whatifhemar ri
esandget sacruelwifethatwi l
l
mistr
eatthechil
d?Isnappedoutofmyquest ion
fi
ll
edthoughtswheni thi
tmet hattherewoul dbeno
chil
d.Ist
il
ldon'tt
hinkBongaandhi spartnersin
cri
mehavet houghtthist
hrough.Ifeelli
keI '
m
sel
li
ngmybodyanywayeveni fiti
snott hroughsex.
[
03/
28,
11:
18]Lynne:SI
XTEEN
LI
YEMA

IthinkIhavemadet herightdecisionregardingthe
choiceofsur r
ogat emot her.Manyhavet oldmet hat
Iam racistf orwant ingthewomant obebl ackand
notanyot herr ace.I'
m notr aci
st,ablackwomani s
j
ustmypr eference.Wi ththelowamountof
surrogateswhoar eblacki nSouthAf ri
ca, i
twasnot
easyt ofindsomeoner i
ght.Ihavebeent omany
agenciesandevent ri
edf i
ndingrelat
ivestodoi tbut
Iwasj ustnotl ucky.WhenWaynesai dthathehas
theper f
ectcandi date,Ithoughtitwasf r
om a
diff
erentr aceandt obehonestIwaswi ll
ingto
sett
leevenf ort hat .I'
m amanwhowant sto
becomeadadwi t
houtt hedr amaofhavi ngt odeal
withababymama.Babymamai sact ual l
ynotmy
mostf avor it
ewor dt ousebuti ti sthewor dmost
understandbet terwhenamanr efert othemot heri f
hischi l
d.ManyhaveaskedmewhyIchooset ogo
thesur rogacyr outewhenIcoul djustgetagi rlto
l
oveandhavechi ldrenwi thher .Ihavemyr easons
butli
keIhavesai d, Ij
ustdonotwantdr amaasf ar
ascust odyandsuch.Ial somadesur et hatIf i
nd
myowneggdonorsot hatt hesur r
ogat ewi l
lnotf eel
anytiest ot heki dandwantt of ightmef orright st o
beinmychi ld'sl i
fe.IfIwer et ouset hesur r
ogat es
eggs, bylawshei swi t
hinr ightt owantt obeapar t
ofherchi ld'slifewi thingt hef i
rst60daysaf t
ert he
babyi sbor n.Idonotwantt hat .IlikedNt ombif rom
thesecondWayneshowedmeherpr ofi
le.Itseems
asthoughshehascomeatj ustt heper f
ectt i
me.
Sheisabeaut i
fulwomant oo.Notmuchofat alker
butsmi lesal ot.Shei st heper f
ectpi ctureofa
naturalAf ri
canwoman.Notasi nglet raceof
makeup, noweaveandherhai rseem t obef reeof
str
aight eningchemi calssuchasr elaxer s.Ourski n
tonesar eal mostt hesamebutshei sashade
l
ightert hanme.Hast het hickestbr owshaveever
seen, thet ypewomanwoul dpayt housandt ohave
thesedays.It hinkIhaveseenhersomewher e,
perhapswehavepassedeachot heratt hemal lor
somet hi ng.Icomef rom amoder nf ami lybutIhave
averyt r
adi ti
onalf at
her .Istilldonotknowhowhe
andmymot hermanagedt ost ayt oget herf orso
l
ong.Theyar et wotoodi f
ferent .Mymot herisa
fashionl ovingwomanwhot al ksal otandi snot
muchi nt otraditionandmyf at heri snotbot heredby
thenextt rendsandhei sabi ti ntrover t
ed.Het hi
nks
thatIam goi ngagai nstal lofourcul turalbelief
sby
doingt hissur rogacyt hi
ng.Mymot heront heot her
handhasbeenmor esuppor tive.Iadmi tthatIdo
notnotl i
kebei nginherpr esenceof tenbecauseshe
getbet oomuchsomet i
mesbutIappr eciateher
suppor t.Ihavenotshar edt hi sj ourneyIwi llbegin
soonwi thmychur chei ther.I'mj ustnotr eadyt o
heart hatt hisisagai nstGod' st eachi ng.Ihavet old
aclosef riendabouti tandhet riedt ounder stand
butcan' t,allIappr eciateist hef actt hathedoesnot
j
udgeme.Heknowsmyhi stor ywi t
hwomen, sohe
knowswhyIdon' twantawomani nmyl ifejustyet.
I'
mr eadyf orachi l
dthough, t
hoseIhavet oldabout
thislikemybr otherhasbeent ellingmet oadoptbut
theydon' tunder standt hatIwantmyown.Somuch
sot hatIhadmysemenf rozenwhenIwas25year s
oldjusti ncasesomet hinghappenedt hatmi ght
havemadet hem weakerovert heyear s.Somecal l
whatIdi dandwhatIam aboutt odocr azybuti t
wor ksf orme.Iwi llgivemychi ldal lthel oveand
attent i
ont hatt heyneed.Icanpr ovi def orhi m/her
toosoIdon' tseewhyIcan' tbeasi nglef ather.I'
m
33year sol dandasuccessf ul busi nessman.It hi
nk
Iam wi t
hi nrighttowantt ohaveachi ld.Ihavebeen
wai t
ingf oracal lfrom Waynet el
lingmewhat
Ntombihasdeci dedonf oraweekwhenhef inall
y
toldmet hatshei swi ll
ingt odot hisf orme.Ihave
neverbeensohappyi nmyl if
e.Itwi llfinall
yhappen.
Inaf ewmont hsIwi l
lbehol dingmyl i
ttleone.She
alsoagr eedt ocomel ivewi thme.Igott hecot t
age
atthebackr eadyf orher .Itissmal lbutshemi ght
wantherpr i
vacy.I thasaki tchen, bat hroom and
bedr oom.Iwanthert obecl osesot hatIcanbe
theret hrougheachmi l
est oneoft hepr egnancybutI
woul dhatetomakeherf eel suf f
ocat edt hati swhyI
willl
etherhaveherownspace.Iwaswi lli
ngt o
accommodat eherchi l
dt oobutImustsayhi m
beingathisgr anni eswi llmaket hingsabi teasier.
I'
m sur ewewoul dhavegot tenal ongwel lthough
becauseI '
m goodwi thki ds.Wesi gnedal lthelegal
document sandcannowf i
nal l
ygett hebal lroll
ing.
Therewer emoment swher eIfeltlikeshewas
hesitantbutsheassur edmeshei sf i
ne, sayingt hat
thethoughtofj ustl eavi ngherhouseandget t
ing
pregnantagai nwasmaki ngherner vous.Mymot her
washappyt oheart hatt hi ngswi llf i
nal l
ybegi nbut
myf athersaidthathewant snot hi ngt odowi ththis.
Thathedoesnotbel ieveamancanr ai seachi ld
alone,implyi
ngt hati sawoman' sj ob.Thi sman
needt omoveonwi tht het imes.I 'm gl adt hat
Wayneof f
eredt otakecar eoft hingsbychoosi ng
thebestpr ofessional st ohandl et his.Iwoul dnot
havehadt imet odosuch.Iknowi tsoundsr eckless
ofmebutmymai nf ocushasbeenf i
ndi nga
surrogate,nowt hatIhaveIdon' twantt odealwi th
thest r
essofchoosi ngt het eam ofpr ofessi onals.
Wayneknowst hebestpeopl eandI '
m sur et he
peopl
ehehasrecommendedar
ebest
.Ij
ustwant
thepr
ocesst
ostart
.

I'
mt omeetNt ombi againtoday.Ij ustwanti ttobe
us.Iwanthert ofeelcomf or t
abl earoundmesi nce
wewi llbel ivingint hesameyar d.Imadesur eitisa
publicspacesoshe' l
lbecomf ortabl
eandf eelsafe.
Shewal kedi ntothecof f
eeshopandhel dont oher
bagt i
ght ly,sheseemedner vous.Ist oodandmet
heratt hedoorwher eshest oodst anding.Whydoes
shenotwal kin?Shel ookedr el
ivedwhenshesaw
myf ami liarface, evenmanagedt osmi leatme.I 'm
notreallyonet osmi l
eof t
enbutIsmi ledback
anyway.Sheneedst oknowt hatIcanbet rusted.
Wewal kedbackt omyt able,shesatdownbef oreI
couldevenpul lachai routf orher .Iguessshei s
oneoft hosei ndependentwomen.Al lthewomenI
havebeenwi thl i
kedbei ngt reatedl i
keapr incess.I
can'tcompar emypastr elationshi pswi t
hthis
though, myr elati
onshi pwithNt ombii sway
dif
ferent .Iaskedi fshewant edanyt hingandshe
shookherheadandsai dnot hanks.Wef i
rstsati n
awkwar
dsi
lenceunt
ilIdeci
dedt
obr
eakt
hei
ce.

Liyema:“ Youmustr eal

lymi ssyourboy?”
,she
l
ookedatmeast houghshehadnocl uewhatI'
m on
about .“Pleasejustbeyour self
,Ntombi
.Thisi
sjust
thebegi nningofal ongj ourneyyouandIareabout
tot ake.Iwantyout oknowt hatyoucanleanonme
andyoucaneveni nviteyourboyt ovi
sitwhenyou
mi sshim” ,Iaddedhopi ngtomakeherr el
axabit.I
knowt hisisallnewt oher.

Ntombi:“
Thankyou..
.uhm I
'
m sur
eh.
..
hewoul
dli
ke
t
hat”,
shestutt
ered.

Liyema:“
I'
m al
sosor r
yforaskingoverandbeyond
byaskingyoutomovei nwi t
hme.Youwi llhave
yourownspace.Wewi llbelivi
nginthesameyar d
butdif
fer
enthouses,unlessyouwantt ol
iveinthe
bighousebecausethecot t
ageisreall
ysmall,i
t
usedtobewher emyhel pstayedbutsheisno
l
ongerastayondomest i
cwor kersi
nceshegot
mar
ri
ed.Pl
easedon'
tbeof
fe.
..
”

Ntombi:“MrElephant ,
it'
sokay.Iwi
llli
vewherever
youfeelcomfortabl
e.”,shesaidsof
tly.Ir
eal
ized
thatIhavebeent al
kingtoomuch.

Liyema:“
I'
m sorr
y,t
hisj
ustmeanssomucht ome
forawomant owanttodothi
sf orpeoplel
ikemeis
amazing.IwantyoutoknowthatIappreci
atei
t.
”,I
saidandshelookeddown.

Ntombi:“Whyareyoudoingit?”
,sheaskedandI
brokethebri
efeyecontactandclear
edmyt hr
oat
.
“I
'
m sor y,
iti
snonofm business.”
,sheaddedand
fi
ddledwithherfi
nger
s.

Li
yema:“Ihavewant edtobeaf atherforsolong
now.Iwasmar ri
edandal othappenedtherethat
l
edtoadivorce.Inol ongerwantmar r
iagebutIsti
ll
wantachil
dorper hapsevenmor einfut
ure”,my
wordslef
therwi
theyesf
il
ledwi
thpi
ty.Iknowt
hat
shepit
iesme.

Ntombi:“Soyouarecomfor
tablewithnotknowi
ng
themotherofthechi
ld?Whatifhe/shewonders
andwantt oknowwhosheis?”,sheaskedwhile
l
ookingintomyeyes,al
mostintomysouli naway.

Liyema:“Iwil
ldealwi
ththatonceIgett
here.For
nowt hisiswhereIam andmychildwil
lal
ways
knowt hatIwantedhi
mr egardl
essofhowhewi l
lbe
conceived,Iwi
lll
ovehim.”

Nt
ombi
:“Hi
m?”
Li
yema:“
YeahIwouldli
keaboyandwi
tht
hisI
VFi
t
i
spossi
ble”
,shej
ustnoddedsl
owl
y.

Ntombi:“Isyoureggdonorsomeoneyouknow
personal
ly?”,
sheaskedwithcur
iosi
ty.
Li
yema:“
No,
iti
snot
.”
,shel
ookedshocked.

Ntombi:“Soareyout
ell
ingmethatyouhavenever
metthewomanwho' sbloodwi
llr
unt hr
oughyour
chil
d'svei
ns?”

Liyema:“
No,Iwasgivenalistofwomenwho
donatedeggsandallt
hei
rdet ai
ls.ThedonorI
select
edhasagreatprof
il
e”,mywor dsl
eftherwi
th
anopenmout h.

Nt
ombi:“Howcanyouputsomuchf ai
thinother
s.
Whati
sitisal
lli
esi
nthosepr
ofi
les?
”,sheasked
al
mostsoundi
ngsad.

Li
yema:“
Theyar
epr
ofessi
onal
s.'
,Ianswer
ed.

Nt
ombi
:“Butt
her
ear
eal
wayshumaner
ror
s.Whati
f
thewomanyouchosedidnotpasst
hescr
eeni
ng
butt
heyputherpi
ctur
einahealt
hywoman'
sprof
il
e
bymist
ake?”
,sheasked.

Li
yema:“
Doyoual
waysovert
hinksi
tuat
ions?
”

Ntombi
:“I
'mjustaski
ng.Thingshappen.Decept
ion
andmist
akesarerealt
hings”,shesai
dsoft
ly.

Li
yema:“
Wel
ldon'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
”

wespokemor eaboutt hesubj ectandshemademe

seethi
ngsdiff
er entl
y.Ironi
callymyf athersai
dthe
samet hi
ngaboutmechoosi ngast r
angert obethe
motherofmychi l
dwhenIr eal lydon'tknow
anyt
hingaboutt hedonorbutwhatwasshownt o
mebyt hecli
nic.Myf atherputi tinaj udgmental
waywhi chmademenotwantt oli
stenbutNt ombi
puti
tinaneducat ionalway.Woul dknowi ngadonor
bebetter,
butwhati fshedeci dest okeept hebaby?
Iwasnowf il
ledwithdoubt s.Wesati nsilencewhile
sheat et hecarrotcakesheor deredandIdr ank
water .Thistimethesilencewast olerable,wellat
l
eastf orme.Ilookedatherwhi lesheat e.The
waitercamet oaski fwewer est i
llfineandNt ombi
fl
ashedabeaut i
fulsmile, fil
ledwi thsuch
gent l
enessbef orenoddi ng.I twasasi fIwas
l
ooki ngatheri nslowmot ion.Shel ookedatmef or
asecond, focusedhereyesbackonhercakebut
quicklyl i
ft
edherheadt ol ookatmeagai nwi t
ha
puzzledl ook.Iwasst arringt oomuchandshe
noticed.Ilookeddownandatheragai n.

Li
yema:“Pleasebemyeggdonorandsur
rogat
e”,
shecoughed.Ioff
eredhermywat
erandshedrank
i
t.Inear
lykil
ledt
hepoorgir
l.

Ntombi :“
MrElephant
,thatwasnotwhatwehave
discussedandagreedupon.”
,shemanagedt osay.
“Plusyouhavefearsaboutsuch.Youyour
selfsai
d
thatyoudonotwantt ori
skasurrogat
egett
ing
at
tachedt
othechi
ld.
”

Li
yema:“IknowbutIhavechangedmymi nd.You
havegonethroughscr
eeni
ngalreadysowecanjust
star
tthepr
ocessnow”

Nt
ombi
:“Idon'
twantachi
ld”
,shesai
dsof
tl
y.

Liyema:“Welli
twouldnotbeyourchil
d.West
ickt
o
theoldagreementbutonlychangeitt
oyoual
so
beingthedonor.Iwi
llcompensateyou”

Ntombi:“Whydoesever
yonethi
nkthatt
heycan
j
ustdoast heypl
easewit
hmybody?No, Iwil
lnot
dothat!
”,shesai
dwit
htearf
il
ledeyesbef
ore
rushi
ngout .

Ibangedthet
abl
eandregr
ett
edwhatIhadj
ustsai
d.
Itwaswrongofmetoj
ustthr
owsuchather
.Heck,
i
si tevenwhatIwant ?Ij ustsuddenl ydon' tfeel
comf or t
ablewi tht hedonorchosen.Nt ombiIdon' t
knowei therbutshei sr eal,Ihaveseenherwi thmy
owneyesandIwoul dnotmi ndmyboyl ookingl ike
herift hatwast hecase.Thedonorl ooksbeaut if
ul
onpi cturet oobutshei sj ustf i
ction.Yes, shei s
humanbutoneIhavenevermet ,Idon'tknowt he
soundofhervoi ce.Isatt her eandknewt hat
Ntombiwoul daskt obeasur rogat eforsomeone
elseandIwi l
lunder stand.Ishoul dlearntot hink
beforeIspeak.NowIhavet ost ar toveragai n
l
ooki ngf orasur rogat e.Iwi llcal landapol ogizef or
hurti
ngandof fendi ngher .MaybeIshoul dthe
femal esIknowi ftheywi llbewi lli
ngt obedonor s,
notthatIhavenotal r eadydonet hatbutpeopl e
changet heirmi ndsal lthet i
me.Maybet heymi ght
agreenextt ime.Inol ongerwantt obemat ched
withast rangedonor .Idon' tknowwhati tist hatI
wantanymor e.Maybemyf at herwasr ight.Thisi s
nowayt obr i
ngachi ldintot hewor ld.I
tbr okemy
heartt hi
nki ngaboutst oppingbutmaybeI '
mj ust
notmeantt obeaf at her .
NTOMBI

Istor
medoutoft hatplaceasf astasIcoul d.Iwi l
l
notdosuch.I fIdonat eeggs, t
hatchi l
dwi l
lbe
biol
ogicall
ymi ne.Iwal kedpassBonga' sugl ycar
anddi dnotlookbackwhenhecal l
edmyname.Hi s
carwasdr ivi
ngsl owl ynextt omebef oreIknewi t.
Hedemandedt hatIgeti nbutIr efused.Het oldme
tonotdar emakehi m angrybecauseIwi l
lnotl ike
theoutcomes.Il ookedathi mf eeli
ngdef eat ed.
PerhapsIshoul dj ustgost andi nthest r
eetcor ner s
andsel lmybody.Notl ikeIhaveantdi gnit
yl eft
anyway.Bongast rippedmeof fallofi t
.Igoti ntohis
carandhedr oveof ftoanot herlocation.Itoldhi m
whathappenedandheshookhi sheadi ndi sbelief.
I'
m gladthathef indst hisasr i
diculousasIdo.

Bonga:“Soyouactedl
ikeadramaqueenbecause
oft
hat?Manywomandonat eeggs,Nt
ombi
.There
i
snothingspeci
alaboutyourcase.
Nt
ombi
:“Idon'
twantt
ohaveachi
ld”
,Ishout
ed.

Bonga:“Thechildwouldnotbeyour slegall
y!”,he
shoutedback.“Youforgetthattherewi l
lbenobaby
anyway.Youwi l
lconti
nuet otakecont raceptivesso
thatnopregnancyhappens.Thedoct orwi l
lthen
confi
rmt hatyouare“pregnant”
, youwillfakea
pregnancyforafewmot hsandt hen“LOSE”t he
babybutbyt henwewoul datl
easthavemadea
l
itt
lemoneyf rom t
hisguyandyoubei ngt heegg
donormeansmor ecash.”,hesaidwithasmi le.

Ntombi:“
Iwillnotdoit
.Idon'tknowif
cont
racepti
veswi l
lbeaff
ecti
vewi t
hsuchaprocess,
maybewi t
hnat ur
alconcept
ionbutnotthi
s.Iwi
ll
al
sonotfakeapr egnancy”

Bonga:“
OkaythenIki
ll
,ki
ll
,ki
ll
.Yout
hinkIf
ear
pul
li
ngthetr
igger
?JusttoshowyouhowseriousI
am.Iwil
levengovi
sityourfat
herandburnhi
s
housewhil
etheyar
einside”
,hesaidandhedi
dnot
soundl
ikehewasjoking.

Ntombi:“
Youar esoevi
l,
Binga”
,Isai
dwi t
htears
rol
li
ngdownmycheeks.“ Ihat
eyou”,Iaddedandhi
t
himinhisface.Hedi
dnothitback.

Bonga:“Hatemewhilemakingmoneyf orme.You
canthankyourl
uckystarst
hatIsti
llneedyoutobe
pret
tyoryouwouldhavepaidforhi
tti
ngand
disr
espect
ingmelikethi
s.

Ntombi :“Howdoyouevengett omakethese

peopledot hisforyou?Idoubtdoctor
sandot her
staffatthefert
il
it
yclini
cwil
ldoasyousay, tothem
youar enobodyordi dyout hr
eatentoki
llt
hem too?
“,Isaidandhel aughed.

Bonga:“
Iti
samazi
ngwhatal
it
tl
einf
ormat
ionon
someonecando.I tmakest hem bepuppet s.Much
l
ikeyou.Youf earthatImi ghttakethepeopl eyou
l
ovef rom youf oreverandsoyoudoasIwant .
Whenyouhavedi r
tonpeopl etheyt r
ytocoveri tup.
Waynei soneoft hoseki ndsandWaynei swel l
connect edatt hatcl i
nicsohehashi scontact sthat
havenot hingt odowi t
hme.Al lIknowi st
hatt hings
willwor koutaspl anned.Perhapswedon' teven
havet omaket hem putt heembr yoinyou.Per haps
wecanl ett hem gett heeggsbecauset hisf oolwill
havet oseeyout akewhat evertreat
mentsi neyou
willbel i
vingwi thhim.ThenWayne' speopl elieand
saidt heydi dthepl antati
onandt henboom af t
er
thatyoubecome”pr egnant”,hesaidwithapsycho
smi leonhi sf ace.Thi smani smad.“ SoNtombigi r
l,
goandgi veyoureggs.Ihopet heyar enotrotten”,
hel aughed.

Li
yemacalledonBonga'sphonebecausehethi
nks
i
tismine.Bongat
oldmet otel
lhi
mt hatIwi
lldoit
.I
answeredandsai
dwhatBongat ol
dmet osay.I'
m
off
ici
all
yaconart
ist
.Liyemasoundedsohappy
whenhehear d.,i
fonlyheknew.Iwi shhecoul d
changecl i
nics.Waynecan' thavecor ruptf riendi n
alloft hem.Iwi shIhadnotr eactedasIdi dwhen
Liyemat oldmehedoesnotknowt hewomanwho' s
bloodwi llfl
owi nhi schil
d'sveins.Iwoul dnothave
beeni nthissi tuationrightnow.I 'm notevengoi ng
topr ayf orgui dancebecauset hatwi llbeani nsult
tot hemostHi gh.ItoldBongat otellhi stonotr eally
putt heembr yoi nmywomb.ThatIwi lldonat eeggs,
butt heynotdoanyt hingabouti t.Iwi llinsiston
goingi nal onewheni tisthedayt opl antt heembr yo
sot hatIcangetawaywi t
hnotdoi ngi t.Iwi llli
eto
MrEl ephantandsayIhadi tdoneandt hedoct or
willconf irmi t.Afterawhi lethedoct orwi lllieand
sayIam pr egnantandwi l
lonlyf akeunt i
lthree
mont hsandf akeami scarr
iage.ThatwayLi yema
willcuthi sl osesandchooseot heropt ions.Ihat e
thatIhavet opl aywi t
hser i
oust hingssuchas
mi scar r
iagesbecausesomewomanhavet hem f or
realandt heyhur t.IhatethatIhavet ol i
et oMr
Elephant .Ihat ethatIwi l
lhavet ot akemedi cat i
on
andi nject i
onsal ot.Ihatet hi
sent iredecept i
on.Ido
notknowwhatBongahasonWaynebuti tmustbe
bigf orWaynet obendoverbackwar dsl i
ket hisfor
him.Cl earlyhemustbepl ayi ngt hisf raudulentand
cor r
uptst afffrom t heclinichi msel fbecauseBonga
doesnothavemoney.I fonl yWayneknewt hathe
willforeverbeatBonga' smer cy.Idonotwantmy
l
ovedonest odie.Imi ghthat eNomvul abutIwoul d
neverwi sht hatshewoul dbur n.Imi ghtnotr eall
y
bei nmyf atherandhi sf ami ly'sl i
vesnori nMr sB's
andZi m' sbutIwi llnotlett hem di ebecauseofme.I
thoughtofki ll
ingmysel fbutt ruthi sIdonotwantt o
die.Idon' thaveanyt hingt ol ivef or,butIdonot
wantt odi e,notbysui cide.Icannotbel i
evet hatmy
toxicr elationshipwi t
hBongahasdr aggedyet
anot heri nnocentper soni nt oourmess.Li yema
mi ghtbeani ntenseper sonwhor arelysmi l
esbut
hei snotabadper son.Al lhewant sisachi ldand
hehashi sr easonsf ordoi ngi tliket his.Hi s
mar riagemusthavebeenawf ulbecausehi st one
changedwhenhet ol
dmeaboutt hef actthathe
wasoncemar ried.NowI 'm wi ll
ingt of akea
pregnancyandgi vehimf alsehopeonl ytocr ush
him wi thal ossofachi l
dt hatwoul dnothaveexi t
ed
i
nt hef i
rstpl ace.Ibel ongi nt hedeepestcor nerof
hellwit
hBongafort
his.I'
m doi
ngt hi
stokeepmy
familysaf
ebuti
tisst
illnotagoodenoughr eason.I
hateBongabutInowhat emyselfevenmore.
[
03/
28,
11:
19]Lynne:SEVENTEEN
NTOMBI

LiyemaandIhavemadeanewagr eement .Onet hat

statesthatIwi llbetheeggdonor .Apar tofmei s
gladthatt hisisjustascam.Icannoti magi net hatI
woul dhavebeenwi ll
ingtogivemychi lduphadI
beenabl et ogivebi r
thtoone.Ist i
llhavenott old
Liyemat hatIhaveseenhi m beforeatchur ch.He
mi ghtgoandl etMr sBknowaboutouragr eement
andt henshewi l
lwantt ocomet omyr escueandi n
turnputherownl if
eatr i
sk.Shei stoopr ecioust o
met or i
skput tingherl i
feindangeragai n.Iwi sh
thismanwasnotsodesper atetohaveachi ld.I
wisht hathecoul dtrytogiveloveanot herchance,
getmar ri
edagai nandt henhavebabi es.Somet hing
tell
smet hatlovehashur thim somucht hathe
gaveuponevert r
yingagain.Idonotbl amehi m.
Shoul dIeverf indawayt ogetawayf rom Bonga
wi thoutput tingmyl ifeandmyl ovedonesl i
featrisk
Iwi lltakei tandIwi llnevergeti ntoanot her
relationshi p.Icoul dgetBongaar restedbutIdonot
trustourj ust icesyst em.Hewi llbeouti naf ewdays,
fil
ledwi thrageanddot hewor st,notevena
pr otectionor derwi llhelp.Iwi l
lputsomeoft he
moneyt hatIwi llmakef rom thisasi de.OnceIgeta
chanceIwi llgosomewher efarwher eBongacan'
findme.Hewi llrealizethatIdi dnotgot oMr sB's
andl eavet hem al one.Hopef ul
lyhewi lll
etgoofme.
IfIdi dnotknowanybet terIwoul dsayhewas
obsessedwi thmeoratl eastwi thmypr esence.
Liyemahaspl ayedr i
ghtint oBongaandhi s
fraudst erf ri
endst rap.Heevenof f
eredt opayme
waymor ethanheshoul df ordonat ingmyeggs.Hi s
wi ll
ingnesst obendt her ulesoft helawt ogett his
donei smusi ct oBonga' sear s.Ihavemovedt o
Liyema' spl aceaf ewdaysagoandhi shousei s
ver ybeaut i
ful .Thel itt
lecot t
aget hatwasusedby
hisdomest i
cwor keri sdecentaswel l
.Hewas
concer nedaboutt hesi zesayi ngi ti
st oosmal l
.For
mei twasper fect.Itwascl ean,cozyandf arfrom
Bonga.Theguil
thasbeeneati
ngatmesincet
he
daythatImethi
m, i
thasbecomeworsenowthatI
am l
ivi
nginhishouse.

Somet hi
ngi swrongwi t
htheplumbi nginthe
cottageandt hatmeantIhadt ouset hebathroom i
n
themai nhouse.Iwon'thavetodot hataf t
ertoday
becauset heplumbingguysar ebusyf i
xingthe
pipes.Isatoutsideonthepatiojusttaki
ngi nthe
war mthofthesun.Liyemawal kedoutandsaton
thewoodenseatnextt ome.Isatupbuthe
i
ndicatedwi t
hhi shandthatIshouldnotgetup.

Liyema:“LookNtombi,
IknowIsoundl i
keabroken
recordbynowbecauseIkeept hanki
ngyounon
stopfordoingt
hisbutIjustfeelli
keIcoul
dnever
doenought oshowmygr at
it
udet oyou”.

Ntombi
:“Youcompensati
ngmewayoverwhatt he
l
awagreesuponisthanksenoughMrEle.
..
Imean
Li
yema”,Isai
dtr
yingnottosoundasannoyedasI
f
eel
.

Liyema:“Soi sthatwhyyouhavebeenl ookingli

ke
someonest ol
eyourf avor i
tetoy”,hesaidand
l
aughed.“ I'
m sor r
y,I'
mj ustwor ri
edthatmi ghtbe
thereasonwhyyouar en'tfi
ne.Ifmegi vingyout oo
muchmoneyt hanagr eeduponi soffensivetoyou,
I'
m sorry.Thisisnotmywayofbuyi ngyourbody
butmywayofsayi ngt hankyou.Youcanspendt he
moneyt hatIshoul dbyl awgi veyouf orloseof
i
ncomeonyour selfandt heextrabityoucansaf e
foryourson.I '
m surebei ngasi ngleparentisnot
easyandespeci all
yifyouar enot .
..
”

Ntombi :“
Yethereyouar eonyourwayt obeinga
singl
epar entonpurpose”,Isai
dsarcasti
cal
ly
cutti
nghissentenceshor t
.Heexhaledloudl
yand
l
ookedatt hebi
gplantinfrontofus.“
I'
m sorry,
I
don'tknowwhyI 'mlikethi
smaybei ti
sbestIst ay
outofyourwayandonl ymeetwhenweneedt ogo
tothedoct orf
ormycheckups” ,
Iaddedandhe
l
ookedatmeagai
n.

Liyema:“I
t'
stheovariansti
mul at
iont r
eatmentthat
youaretaking.Thedoctordidsayt hatiswil
lhave
sideeff
ects.Speaki
ngaboutt hat
, areyoureadyfor
today'
sshot?”,heaskedwithconcer n.

Nt
ombi
:“Yeah”
,Ianswer
edi
nasadwhi
sper
.

I'
mt ryingnottoshowanyweaknessi nf rontofhim
butIkeepf ail
ing.Iam t hepersonwho“ passed”al l
herpsychol ogicaltestsoIshoul dbeabl etohandl e
everythingorateastpr et
endsinceIdi dnotgot o
anyt est.Hebrushedmyr i
ghtshoul dergent lyin
comf ortbeforest andingtogetthei njection.Ihave
toinjectmyselfdai lytosti
mulatemyovar i
es.Ican
notinjectmysel f.Itri
edtoandIendedupcr ying
beforet het
ipoft heneedl eevent ouchedmyski n.
Liyemahasbeenver ysupport
ive.It houghtt hathe
wouldcal lWayneandt el
lhi
m hewant edanot her
persont obehi seggdonorandsur rogat e,a
str
ongerwomanandnotaweakl ingl i
kemebuthe
didnot .I
nst eadhehadof fer edt obet heone
i
njecti
ngme.Thedoct orshowedushowsohe
know.Heputonhi srubbergl oves, preparedt he
i
njecti
onandaskedi fIam r eady.Inoddedand
coveredmyeyeswi t
hmyhands.If eltasmal lprick
i
nmyski nandhewasdonebef oreIknewi t
.Idon't
knowwhyIst i
llfearneedl esbecauset heyar enot
sopainf ul.Hesmi led,toldmehowpr oudhei sof
meandt ookoutcandyf rom hi spocketandgavei t
tome.Webot hlaughedatt hej oke.Hedoesnot
l
aughnorsmi l
eof tenbutwhenhedoes, he
becomesmor ehandsome, mor eappr oachabl e.My
eati
nghabi tshaveal sochangedandwear ebot hon
thi
scleaneat ingmealpl anni ng.I tactuall
yt astes
good.Hesayshewant smet obeasheal thyas
possiblesot hatthepr egnancywi llbeeasyonme
andgoodf orthebaby.Icannothel pbutwonder
whatki ndofwomanwoul dleavesuchaki ndman
orisheal soawol finsheepcl othing?It'
sSat urday
andIt houghthewoul dgooutl i
kehedi dlastt i
me
buthedi dnot .Thedoor bellrangandIdi dnotknow
i
fIshoul di gnor eitorgoseewhoi tis.Icalledout
forLiyemaf r
om downst airsbuthedi dnotr espond.
Islowlyandner vousl ywal kedt ot hedoor ,tooka
deepbr eathandopenedt hedoor .Amanand
womanst oodi nf rontofmeandi tseemedt he
womanwashavi ngaf ewser iouswor dswi tht he
manbef orestoppi ngt olookatme.Themandi dnot
l
ookhappyatal l
.Theybot hl ookedwel lputt ogether
i
ft hatisevenawayt odescr i
beel ders.Theywer e
notoldbutcer tainl
ynotyoungei t
her .Per hapsi n
their50'sor60' s?Thewomanhadasl im pet it
e
bodyandhadt hemostbeaut ifulclearski nand
wor eaweavet hatl ookedl iker ealhai r
.Theman
wast allanddar kandhadaser iousexpr essi on,
almostl i
ket hatofLi yema.Igr eetedandLi yema
camet ot hedoort orescuemej ustint i
me.Hedi d
notseem al ltoohappyt ohavehi st woguest sathi s
house.Hel etthem i nandIexcusedmysel fbuthe
stoppedme.Hei ntr
oducedt hem ashi spar ent sand
toldthem whoIam.Mr sElephantsmi ledand
extendedherar m, Iputmyhandi nher sandshook
herhand.Herhandi ssosof t,li
keaper sonwhohas
neverhel dabr oom i nherl ife.MrEl ephantl ooked
l
ikeamanwhohadbet t
ert hingst odot hancomet o
hisson' shousetomeethissur
rogate.WellI
'
m not
surprisedbecauseLiyemamentionedthathi
s
fatherdidnotapprove.

MrEl
ephant
:“Wher
eisyourhome?
”,heasked
l
ooki
ngatme.

Nt
ombi
:“Il
iveher
einCa[
eTo.
..
”

MrElephant:“I
'm notaskingaboutthehomeyou
adopt
edf oryourself.I'
mtalki
ngaboutwhereyour
whereyouwer ebor n”,hesaidinst
ernvoi
ce.Il
eft
l
ikeachil
dbei ngscol ded.

Li
yema:“Youwillnotcomefr
om yourhouset
o
minet
odi sr
espectmyguest,
Tat
a” ,
hesaidwi
tha
hi
ntofangerinhisvoice.

MrEl
ephant
:“Thi
sisal
lunnat
ural
,Li
yema.St
op
behavi nglikeachi ld.Yourf i
rstmarri
agedidnot
wor koutbutt hatdoesnotmeanyouhavet ogive
uponf indingawomant omar ryandhavechil
dren
with.Nott hisnonsenseofhavi ngachil
dconceived
l
iket heyar esomesci enceproject
.Mygirl
,doyou
beli
evei nallofthis?”,heasked.IlookedatLi
yema
andhi seyeswer efil
ledwi t
hangerandasadness
I'
m sur ehei st r
yinghi shardesttohide.

Ntombi:“
IwouldnothavebeenherehadInot,
Mr
El
ephant.”
,Isai
dsti
lll
ookingatLi
yemaandhe
nodded.Ithi
nkhewasgr atef
ult
hatsomeonewas
i
nhiscorner.

MrsElephant:“
Tata,
thisi
snotwhatweagr eed
uponinthecar.Pl
easeafighti
snotwhatIwant ”
,
shesaidinthesof
testvoi
ceIhaveeverheard
comingfrom anadul
twoman.

Li
yema:“
Maybenextt
imesaywhenyouar
ecomi
ng.
Whati
fIhadt
akenNtombit
oadoctor
's
appoi
ntment
?”

MrEl ephant:“Iexpectedthegirlt
obewhi te,not
black.Whendi dourchildr
enlosesightofwhot hey
are?Whydon' tyout wojustgetmar r
iedandhave
thisbaby?Nowyouwantt orentt
hepoorgi rl
's
wombandexpecthert ogiveherchildawayand
neverl ookback?Thi sisnotforus,stopadopting
wester nwaysofdoi ngthi
ngs.Getmar ri
edandr aise
thischildtogether,youwil
llearntoloveeachot her.
Nott hisnonsenseofhavi ngachi l
dandgoi ngyour
separ ateways, t
hisis.
..
”

Mr
sEl
ephant
:“Tat
a”,
shepl
eadedwi
thherhusband.

Liyema:“Pleasel
eave”,
hesaidl
ooki
ngathis
parents.Istoodt
herenotknowi
ngifIshoul
dgi
ve
them spaceorstay.

MrEl
ephant
:“Wi
thpl
easur
e.Let
'sgoNomsebenzi
.”
MrsEl
ephant
:“Icameher
etoseemychi
ld.I
'
m not
r
eadyt
ogo”

MrEl ephant:“Thengetat axihome.I fIstayher e

anyl onger, Imi ghtdiebecauseoft het hingsyour
childrendot ome.Theot heri sli
vingal if
eof
alcoholandcheapgi r
ls,dr aggingournamet hrough
themudandwast ingmoneyandt heot hermakes
babi esbyhel pofamachi neasi fweEl ephantmen
arenotcapabl eofmaki ngbabi esnat urall
y.Your
greatgr andfather smustbet urningint hei
rgr aves.
Yourf at
hermustbeut terlydi sappointedinyouf or
rentingyourbodyt oamanyoubar elyknowwhen
youcoul djustmakehi m pr oudbyf indingaman
whowi l
lpaylobol aandmar r
yyou, mygi rl.The
thingsyouchi l
dr endot ous, isjustabuse.Wedo
notdeser vethis.

Liyema:“Maybe,j
ustmaybeifyoustopmaking
everyt
hingaboutyoul
ikeyoualwaysdothenyou
wouldseethebeautyint hi
sandbeexcitedt
hatyou
becomingthegrandfatheryouhavealwayswanted
tobe”,hesai
d.Hisfatherjustr
aisedhi
shandand
walkedoutofthehouse.

MrsEl
ephant
:“ Hewil
lcomearound,
ndoda.”
,she
sai
dandIsti
llcan'
tgetusedt
ohersoftvoi
ce.

Li
yema:“Idon'tknowwhyyouandyourrude
husbandinsistofhar
assingmewhenI
'
m not
aski
ngasi nglethi
ngfrom yout
wo”

MrsElephant
:“Thi
sisnewtohim,Li
yema.Hedoes
notknowhowt oexpl
aini
ttot
hefamilyandi
tget
s
tohi
m”

Nt
ombi:“Pl
easeexcuseme.Mr
sElephanti
twasa
pl
easur
etomeetyou.”,
Isai
dwit
hasmi l
e.
MrsElephant:“
Don'
trushoff
,Ntombi.I
'
m hereto
meetyou.Iwanttoseethewomanwhowi l
lcarry
mygrandchil
d.Youlooksobeauti
ful
.Shewillpass
ongoodgenest oyourchi
ldr
en,
Ndoda”,shesaid
wit
hasmi le.

Liyema:“ Don'ttal
kasifwewi llbeat radi
ti
onal
familywher ewewi l
ldebateaboutwhet herthechil
d
l
ookl ikemeorNt ombi.Ntombiwi llnotbeit
s
mot her.”
,hiswor dslef
tmewi thasadnessIcannot
explain.“Ihopeyouandyourhusbandhavenot
comeher etot r
yandpr essureint
oanot herforced
mar ri
age.Iwi l
lnotmar ry,
Ntombi .Sheismy
surrogateandt hatiswher ei
twi l
lend”

Mr sEl
ephant:“I
'
m heretoshowyout hatI
'm here
forwhateveryoumayneed, Ndoda.Nott oforceyou
tochangeyourmi ndorgetmar r
ied.Iwanttobei n
thi
sbaby'sli
fefrom dayoneasthepr oudgrandma.
Hewi l
lhaveyourbloodandnomat terhowhegot
concei
vedIwi l
lgivehimthelovethatanygr anny
woul
dhergrandchi
ld,
especi
all
ysi
ncei
twi
llbet
he
f
ir
st”
,shesai
dwi t
hasmi l
e.

Li
yema:I '
m goingtomakesomet hingtoeat.
Ntombi ,shouldyouatanymomentf eel
uncomf ortabl
e, j
uststandandexcuseyour sel
f.You
neednotgeti nvolvedinmyf ami l
yissues.My
parentscanbeahandf ul
,I
'm sureyouhavenot iced
al
ready.Youdon' tevenhavetositwi t
hmymot her
al
one. ”
,hesai dandIsawt helookofsadnessinhi s
mot her
'seyes.

Nt
ombi:“
Idon'tmi
nd.
”,Isai
dwi
t hasmi
le.Ir
eal
ly
di
dnotmind.MrsEl
ephantsmi
ledatme.

Li
yemagavehismot heronelastl
ookbefore
headi
ngtohiski
tchen.Mr sElephanti
nvi
tedmet o
si
tnexttoheri
nt heloungeitwasabitstrangebut
shehadaf ewgreatconversati
onstar
ter
s.She
askedwhereIwasf rom andwhatmyoccupat i
on
was.Itol
dheral
lt heli
esBongat ol
dmet of eed
Liyema.ThatIwasasoci alwor kerwi thonechi ld.
Shewascur iousaboutt heent i
repr ocessofegg
donat ionandsur rogacy.Shehadcl earlyreadupon
i
tbutshewant edt ohearitfrom myper spectiveand
whatmyexper iencehasbeensof ar .Itoldher
everyt hi
ng.Shesai dshewi l
lgetme“ goodies”to
easemypr egnancyonceIhavef all
enpr egnant.
Shewasnotf akingherexci tementabouthavi nga
grandbaby.I tseemsshehadbeenaski nghersons
foronef oraf ewyear snow, especial l
yLiyemasi nce
hewasmar ri
ed.Li yemacamewi thf oodandt he
threeofusat e.Mr sEwasf araheadofusand
alreadyt hinkingaboutbabyshoweri deas.Liyema
stoppedherbef oreshecoul devenmake
recommendat ionsr emindinghert hatt hisisno
traditi
onalpr egnancy, sheapol ogizedandasked
himt obepat ientwhi leshelearnsmor eaboutt he
rulesofsur r
ogacy.It hinkLiyemai sgoi ngtokeep
remi ndingust hatthisishischildandnotour sj ust
soIdon’ tgetitconf used.Heneednotwor r
y
becauset herewi llbenobabyt oevenf i
ghtcust ody
over .Heget sannoyedbyhi spar entspr esence.I
under standwhyhi sfatherwoul dhavet hateffecton
him butwhyhi smot her ?Ther ei smor et othest ory
thanIknow.Ican' thel pbutwonderi fhisf i
rst
mar r
iagewasanar rangedonebecausehe
ment ionedsomet hingaboutbei ngf orcedt omar r
y.
Therei sal otofbadvi besbet weent hem andhe
doesnott alkabouthi sbr otherei ther.ItseemsMr
Elephantseesbot hhi ssonsasgoodf ornothings.
Liyemai snotagoodf ornot hing.Themanhashi s
ownbusi ness,hegoest ochur chandseemst otry
hisbestt ol i
vealifeofr ighteousness, hehashi s
ownpl aceandl ooksaf terhi msel f.Idon' tseehim
qualifyingasadi sappoi ntmentasasonbutt hen
againIdon' tknowt heent ir
est ory.AllIknowi s
whatIhaveobser vedf rom hi sbehavi orsof arand
whathehasal l
owedmet oknowabouthi m, which
i
snotmuch.Apar tofmewant st ogett oknowhi m
butnotbecauseI 'mi nterestedi nhim butt oknow
whathi sstoryi
sandwhyhashecomet ot he
decisionofusi ngasur rogat e.Whyhi m andhi sex
neverhadki dsiftheywer emar r
iedf orwi f
eyear s
beforet hedivorce?ThedaywentonandMr sEl eft
promi singtocomeever ynowandt hen.Li yemaand
Iwat chedacomedyshow.Hi sl aughi scont agious
andIf
oundmyselflaughi
ngunt
ilt
earscameoutof
myeyes.Iwonderwhyhedoesnotlaughof
ten?

Ntombi:“
Yourmot
herseem ni
ce.
”,Isaid
unexpect
edl
y.Het
urnedhi
sheadtol ookatme.

Li
yema:“
She'
sal
ri
ght
”,hesai
d.

Ntombi:“
Soyouhaveabr
other
?Anymor
e
si
bli
ngs?”

Li
yema:“Uhm..
.yeahheistheonlyone”
,hesai
d
soundi
ngunsureofhisanswer.

Li
yema:“
Howdoeshef
eel
aboutyouhavi
nga
baby?
”

Li
yema:“
Zukoi
snotonet
otakel
if
etooser
iousl
y.I
f
somethingfeel
sri
ghttoaper
sonhewillencour
age
thatper
sont ogoahead.Hei
sexci
tedaboutbei
ng
anuncle”,
hesaidwithasmil
e.

Li
yema:“
Areyout
wocl
ose?
”

Li
yema:“Wear ebr other
s.Wefightandwemakeup
andrepeat.Il
ovehi m andIwi
lldoeveryt
hingto
prot
ecthim.Ijustwishhelovedhimselfenoughto
prot
ecthimself,
”,hesaidsof
tl
y.

Ntombi
:“Thedr
inki
ngyourf
atherment
ioned?
”,he
l
ookedatme.

Liyema:“Yeahandjustnothavingdirect
ioninli
fe.I
can'tt
ellyouhowmanyvar si
ti
est hatguyhasbeen
to.ThefactthatMmakeepsgi vinghim pit
ymoney
i
snothel ping.Shewi
llgoonabouthosshei s
washingherhandsof fhi
m andt henhewoul dtalk
abouthowmuchhewant st
ogobackt oschool.
Educati
onisi
mpotentt
oMmasoheknowswhi
ch
softspot
stohi
t”
,hesaidadl
aughed.

Li
yema:“Soundsl
ikear
eal
handf
ul”
,webot
h
l
aughed.

Li
yema:“Hei sandIpr
aymychi l
ddoesnottakeany
ofhi
strai
ts.Thebabymayl ookl
ikehi
m becausehe
gotMma'slooks.Youladi
esareint
oyell
owbone
menright
?”,heaskedandlookedatme.

Ntombi
:“I
'
veneverthoughtaboutskint
oneswheni
t
comestolovebutIwi
llt
ellyouthatdar
kski
nned
mendothingstome”,webot hl
aughed.

Liyema:“Sohadwebeeni nadif
ferentsit
uati
on,
woul dIhavedonet hi
ngstoyousinceI'm asdark
ast heyget?
”,hisquesti
onmademebl ush.Idi
dnot
knowwhatt osay.“Rel
axNtombi,i
twasj ustajoke.
Youal mostturnedashadeofpinktherefrom t
he
bl
ushi
ng”
,hej
okedandwebot
hlaughed.

Ntombi:“
Idon'
tblush,
I'
m blackl
ikeyou
remember?”
,Isaidandthr
ewoneoft hesmal
l
cushi
onsathim andhecaughtit
.

Li
yema:'Youwishyouhadal lt
hismelani
n,lady.
Youhavesomebuti ti
snott hi
schocolat
y”,
hesaid
brushi
nghisf
aceandIl aughed.

Ntombi
:“What
ever
”,Ishowedhi
mthemi
ddl
efi
nger
andhel
aughedsomuch.

Liyema:“ Youmademel aughmor ethanthi

s
comedyshow.Youhaveawayofmaki ngmewant
totellyout hi
ngs.Nowonderyouareasocial
wor ker.Sosinceyouknowsomewhataboutmy
fami l
yt el
lmeaboutyours.Whereisyourboy'
s
dad? ”,
Iwasnotpr epar
edf orhi
squesti
onbecause
Bongadi dnotsaywhatIshouldsay.
Ntombi
:“Idon'tknow.HeusedtoabusemeandI
t
ookmyst uffandleftwhi
lepr
egnant
”

Liyema:“ I
'
m gl adt hatyouknewt hatyouwer ewor th
mor ethananabusi vebast ard.I'
m sur esomeday
yourboywi l
lthankyouf orwalkingaway.Thel ast
thingaboyneedst ogrowupseei ngi shisfat
her
htii
tnghismot herbecausehewi llgrowupt hi
nking
i
ti swhatbei ngamani sabout .Hewoul dmost
l
ikelyhaveendedupbeat i
nghi sownwomen
someday.Imi ghtnotal waysagr eewi thhowmy
fatherisbuthet reatsmymom l ikeaqueen, i
nhi s
owni ntenset raditi
onalmant ypeofwaybutnont he
l
ess, healwayst oldusawomani st oberespected
andi fhefindswehi twomenhewi llshowuswhat
hei smadeof .Boysneedst hatgoodf ather
lyrole
model .Ihopet hatthereissomeoneatyourmom' s
housewhogett ofil
lthatrole?”

Nt
ombi
:“Myf
atheri
samazi
ng.Myboyhasagr
eat
mant
olookupt
o”,
Ili
edandhesmi
ledandnodded.

Heaskedmemor eaboutmyf ami l

y.Mostoft he
thi
ngswer et ruest uffthatIcombi nedwi thal otof
l
yingast onotl ethim knowmet oomuch.I ti
sthe
fi
rstti
met hatwehavehadsuchaconver sati
on.
Ourconver sationsar ecent er
edar oundmydoct ors
appointment , himi njectingme, mer emindinghi m
nottof orgetanappoi ntmentbutneverr eal l
yabout
ourfami lies.Il ikehismom andsheseemst oli
ke
met oo.I'vej ustr eal
izedt hatIwillnotjustbe
breakingLi yema' shear twithmyconski l
lsbutal so
hismot her 's.Iaskedhi m howmuchhet rustthe
professional swhoar ehandl i
nghi scaseagai nand
heonceagai nsai dhet r ustWayne' s
recommendat ionsbecausehi sper sonalreviews
aregreat .Idon' tdoubtt hatWaynehasagoodt r
ack
recordandmaybehei snotabadper son.Per haps
he,justlikemei sjustapawni nBonga' sgame.
Bongagotmeaphoneandonl yhecal l
smeoni t
andLi yemat ooshoul dhehavet oo.Hecal ledto
remindmenott omesst hingsupandf ort he
mill
ionthti
mer emindedmeofwhatt he
consequencesofmemessi ngupwoul dbe.Iwi shI
couldjustgetridofthismanbutnotbyki l
li
nghi m.I
wil
ldefinit
elyhavet otakesomeoft hemoneyand
keepit.I'
m notproudofhowIwi llgett
hemoney
butitmightbemyonl ywayt of r
eedom.Iwi llgo
somewher ef arfr
om theWest ernCape.Surel y
Bongawon; thavefri
endsi nanot herprovi
ncebut
hedoesi ntheEast ernCapesoIcan' tgother e
eit
her.Imightgot oGaut eng.I'veheardthatj obs
areeasyt ocomebyt here.Iwi l
lsoonbel i
vingan
abusef r
eelifeandIcannotwai t.
[
03/
28,
11:
19]Lynne:EI
GHTEEN

Mr
sB

weekshavegoneandIst il
lcouldnotfi
ndNtombi.A
partofmef earsthatshemightbeburiedina
shallowgrave.I'
mt r
yingtokeepposit
ivebutIknow
whatabuser sarecapableof.Somewoul dki
llt
heir
partner,
hidethebodyandgof orabeerasif
nothinghappened.Ihavebeenpr ayinghar dforGod
toshowmet hatshei sstil
lalive.Mypr ivate
i
nvest i
gat orhasal sobeenunsuccessf ulandhei s
thebestt herei s.Bongamustber eallygoodat
hidingbecausehei ssoughtaf terbyanent ir
e
communi ty.MrKonisai dt hataf ewdaysagot he
communi tytookmat tersintot heirownhandsby
kil
li
ngayoungmanwhowant edt ohur tasmal l
chil
d.Whathashappenedt oourbeaut if
ulland?Do
wenol ongerf eelempat hy?Hast hespi ri
tofubunt u
died?Thedevi lispl ayingwi tht heseki dsandIf eel
helpless.ImetMrKoi 'sdaught erSindi,shecried
whenIt ol dhert hatIdonotknowwher eNt ombii s.
Likemeshef ear sf orthewor stwi theachdayt hat
passes.Ipr ayt hatmygi r
lbesaf ewher esheis.I
havedeci dedt ogot otheEast er nCapet oseemy
mot herandIwi l
lalsogot oseeNt ombi '
s
grandpar ents.Iwantt hem t oknowt hatthereisa
partofNobandl aoutt here.Itookaf ewdayst or est.
Ireferredmycl ientst oaf ri
endofmi nebutmost
choset owai tunt ilIreturn.Iwasbusypacki ng
whenIhear dt hedoorshutl oudl y.Iremember
l
ocki ngi tsoIr ushedt oseewhatwasgoi ngon.I
f
oundZimleani
ngovert
heki
tchencount
erl
ooki
ng
t
roubl
ed.

MrsB:“
Wantt
otal
kabouti
t?”
,Isai
dwal
kingcl
oser
t
oher.

Zim:“WhyshouldIbot
herwhenallyouhavebeen
doingi
swastingyourener
gyonf i
ndi
ngsomeone
whodoesnotwantt obefound?
”,shetur
nedtolook
atme.

MrsB:“I'
m nothavi
ngt hisargumentwi thyouagai n.
YoushutmeoutwheneverIr eachoutandyetyou
saythatIam morefocusedonNt ombi?Whydi d
youthenpityandhelpherwhenshewasi nhospit
al,
Zimkhit
ha?Becausehadi tnotbeenforyouIwoul d
nothaveknownabouther .Whathasgot tenintoyou?
Yourefusemyhelpbutyoual sothrowt antr
ums
whenIt r
ytohelpNtombi .Youar ebehavinglikea
spoi
ledbratandIwillnotentertai
nit.
”,Isaidand
shelookeddown.
Zim:“Idon'
tknowwhati shappeningtome,Mama.
I'
mjustsoshor ttempered.Il
ashoutonpat i
ents,
mytherapistandZwel i
.I'
m amessandIdon' tknow
howtof i
xit.
”,shesaidwhilebrushingherf
acewith
herhands.

Mr
sB:“
I'
llpost
ponemyt
ri
pandst
aywi
thyou”

Zim:“No, i
twoul dbethesecondti
meyoudot hat
.I
knowyoumi ssMakhul uandyouwanttot al
kto
Ntombi '
smom' sfami
ly.Go,Mama.Thechancesof
met alki
ngarenotmuchanywaybecauseImysel f
don'tunderstandwhatisgoingon.WhenIdo, you
wil
lbet hefir
sttoknow.Iwantyout ohelpNt ombi
butIguessshar i
ngyouwithsomeoneel seisall
newt ome, I'
m usedtohavingyourundivided
att
entionandi tissel
fi
shofme.”

Mr
sB:“
HaveyouanZwel
imadepr
ogr
ess?
”
Zim:“Howwhenhef eel
slikeIdon'tr
especthim?I
havebeenhavi ngt
hisfearofhimt ur
ningint
othe
monsterthatTatawasbuti tseemsI'mtheonewho
i
sheadi ngthatway.WhatifI'
ml i
kehim,Mama?I t
's
notonlymenwhoabuse, womendot oo.
”

MrsB:“ Youar enotl

ikehim.Youar emostpr obably
j
ustover workedandstressedaboutt hesit
uation
wit
hZwel i
.”
,Ihuggedherandshest art
edtocr y.
Zimisnoonet ocryoften.“
Oh, mybabyt hi
st oowil
l
pass.Youar enotli
keyourf ather
.Letmecal lhome
tosayIwi l
lcomenextweek. ”
,IaddedbecauseI
can'
tleavehert hi
sway.

Zi
m:“No,nogo,go.Iwi l
lbefine.Nomoretear
s.
See?”
,shesai
dwhi l
ewi pinghertear
swit
hthe
sl
eeveofhershi
rtquickly.Myheartwasworn.

Shecoul
dseet
hatmyhear
twasnol
ongeront
he
tri
psoshedi dherbestt oconvincemet hatshei s
fi
ne.Idon' tlikethef actthatshet hinksshe' san
abuserl ikeherf atherwas.Zi m doesnotknowt he
hellherf atherputmet hr
oughandt houghweal l
haveanevi lsidet ous, Idoubtthatmygi r
lwillever
hurtsomeonei nsuchamanner .Shei sjustletti
ng
fearhol dingherbackf r
om happi ness.Thei ronyis
shewaspr eachi ngt oNt ombiabouthowNt ombi
mustnotal l
owherf earstocont rolher ,yetshei s
doingj ustt hat.Shei sast r
onggi rlbutsomet imes
toost r
ongf orherowngood.At raitshet akesf rom
mymot her.Thewomani sli
keironwoman.Al lmy
l
ifeIhaveneveronceseenmymot hershow
weakness.I thelpedi nshapi ngust obest r
ong
woment oobutIf eelli
keitwasnotal lthatgood.
Per hapsI '
m al sonotgoodatbei ngvul nerable
becauseIwasr ai sedbyawomanwhoneverdi d
andZi m goti tfrom me.Thr eegener ati
onsof
femal ewar ri
orsbutatsomepoi ntonegener ati
on
willhavet oal l
owt hemselvest obeweakatt i
mes
andal lowanot herper sontobet hei rstrengthandI
hopet hatZi m wi l
lbet heonet obr eakt hatchain.I
donotwantmyf uturegrandchildrent othinkthatit
i
swr ongt ocr ywhet hertheywi llbeboysorgi rl
s.I
wi l
lwai tunt ilZiml etsmei n.Iwast empt edtocal l
Zwel iandpl eadt hathebepat i
entwi thherbutI
deci dedagai nsti ti
fIdot hatIwi l
lfindmysel f
i
nvol vingmysel fint heirmar ri
aget oo.Theywi llget
mar r
iedbecauseIhaveseenhowt hatboyt r
eat s
her .Wi t
hherf ather,thefirstthinghedi dwaskeep
met ohi msel f.Ther ehavebeenmoment swher e
Zim woul dsayZwel ialmosthadt of orcehert o
comevi sitmeandgooutwi t
hf riends.Hewant sher
tohaveal i
feout sideofhi m andi snoti solat
ingher
from l ovedones.Het reatsherl i
keaqueenandt he
l
ookherhasi nhi seyeswhenhel ooksatheri s
priceless.SoIknowhewon' tjustgi veuponher ,he
i
sj ustt iredandhast hrownt hebal lintoZim'scour t
.
Shehast odeci dewhatt odof rom her ebecausehe
hasmadei tcl earwhathewant sf rom herandt hat
i
st ol oveher ,mar r
yher ,growwi t
hherandbui lda
homewi t
hher .Shehast odeci dei fsheal sowant s
thesame.Herr eturningtot herapyi sasi gnt hatshe
doesbutdeepi nsideshehast odeci det oletgoof
thef ear.Wespokef oralittl
ewhi l
eandshet oldme
tosendr egar dst othef ami l
y.Wedovi sitmyf ami l
y
butshei smuchcl osert oherf ather '
sfami lyt han
mi neandIhavenopr oblem wi tht hat.Ther ewasa
ti
mewhent heyt riedt opoi sonheragai nstmeby
sayingIwasnott ryi ngtopr ot ectmysel fwhenI
shotherf atherbutr at
herint endedonmur der i
ng
him.I tputst rainonourr elationshi pbutt hedevi l
didnotwi n.Godmendedt hebr okenbondbet ween
us.Iwon' tsayIam t heirfavor iteper sonbutweal l
tolerateoneanot her .Therei sal otofpr et endi ng
from theirsi debutt hatisnonofmybusi nessasI
got ot hem wi t
hapur ehear t.Somehat emeandI
under standwhy.It ookthei rson, uncle, brot herand
fri
endf r
om t hem buthadInotmyf ami l
ywoul d
havel ostadaught er,aunt,sist erandf riendt hatday.
Hewasgoi ngt okillme.Peopl et hinki tiseasyt o
forgetsuchbutal lIwant edwaspeace.Idi dnotki l
l
somet hugwhobr okei ntomyhouse.Iki l
ledt he
l
oveofmyl i
f e,amanIpr omi sedf orevert o.Noone
trulyheal sfrom t hatbutIsol dieronf ormychi l
d
andt hosewhoneedme.Ihavemoment swher eI
j
ustscr eam outofangerbutIenduponmyknees
andpr ay.Hadi tnotbeenf orGod, Idonotknow
wher eIwoul dbe.Iwoul dmostpr obabl yhavebeen
adr unk,amadwomanorevendeadbuther eIam
helpingthosewhohavenoonet otal
kt oandgi ve
them hope.Ihavemanagedt ospreadt hegospel
andhadaf ewcli
entsgetclosert
oGod.Hei sthe
realtherapist
,nowoundi stoobigforHi m.Iam but
aresour cebutHei sthesource.Getclosertothe
sour ceandyouwi llf
indheali
ng.Isaidgoodbyet o
herandpr omisedtogivehergranabigki ssfr
om
her.

Ileftfortheai rportbeforeImi ssmyf l

ight.Ihope
thatNt ombi '
sgr andpar entsarest il
lwellandstrong.
Itissadt hatIt aket hebadnewsaboutt heir
daught erhavi ngdi edlongagobecausenopar ent
want st obelievethatt heirchil
dcoul dhavedi ed
beforet hem andt hatwhenyouhavenotseent hem
sincet heywer eyoung.Thati swhyi ti
sso
i
mpor tantforNt ombit omeett hem.Shehast ot ake
them tot heirdaught er
'sfinalresti
ngplace.Toknow
wher eal ovedonei swhet herdeadoral i
vei s
i
mpor tanttoAf ri
cans, justknowi ngwher etheir
child'
sr emai nsaremi ghtbr i
ngt hem t
hecl osure
theydesperat
elymightbeinneedof .Idon'
thavea
speechpreparedaboutwhatIwillsaybutIthi
nkI
willknowonceIam withthem.Ihavepr ayedabout
thi
sandbelievethatequi
pwiththeneededst r
ength
andwor dsforit
.

LI
YEMA

Ntombihasbeenont reatmentforaf ewweeksnow

andt odayisthedayf ortheeggr et ri
eval.Imustsay
thatIhavegr ownt obef ondofher .Shemakesmy
houseseem l essbi g.Shest il
lsl
eepsi nthecot tage
outsi
debutIf i
ndmysel fbeingther eafterwor k.
Therewer edayswhenIhadt ost opmysel ffrom
goingbecauseIf eelli
kei tmightbet oomuchf or
her.Idon'tknowwhatI '
m mor edr awnt o,her
company, herf oodorhowhomeyt hecot t
age
suddenlyf eel
s.IthinkIam dr awnt oalloft hose
andshedoesnotseem t omi nd.Ihat edinjecting
herwi t
hthet reatmentshewasgi venbuti tmade
mef eelli
keIam apar toft hefuturepr egnancy
mor e.Thi swomani sdoi ngsomuchf orme.She
hasbeeneat ingf oodt hatshewon' tusual l
yeatand
hasevenf oundsomemor edel i
ciouscl eaneat ing
meal s.Idonotunder standhowsomemenl etgoof
suchawoman.Thi sist hetypeofwomant hatcan
turnaman' shousei ntoahome.Howherchi l
d's
fathercoul dr aisehi shandatheri sbeyondme.I tis
suchmenwhodonotdeser vet obecal ledmen.I
woul dlovet omeethersonbutIf eelli
keshewant s
tokeept hisaspr ofessionalaspossi bleandshei s
ri
ght .Thel astIwanti st heboyt ogetat tached.The
treat mentdi dnotgowi thoutit
'ssi deef fectsbutshe
champi onedt hr ough.Shehasbeenaski ngabi t
mor eaboutmyexwi f
eandi ti
sneverat hi
ngIwant
tot alkabout .IfIgett ooper sonali twillmaket he
l
inesbet weenourpr ofessionalandper sonal
relationshi pbl urry.Ithinkbot hofushavebeen
alonef orawhi l
eandnowt hatther eisaper sonwho
seem t o“ get”theot herwecan' thelpbuthave
conver sationsi nsteadofsmal ltalks.Mymom l oves
Nt ombiandkeeponsayi ngshewi shest hebaby
woul dlookl ikehermot her.Icringeeacht i
meshe
sayst hewor dmot herbecausei ti
snott hecor rect
wor dtousei nthissi t
uat i
on.Ther ei saf atheranda
surrogate.Nt ombihasaskedmenott ogetangr y
whenmymot hert alksliket hatbecauset heyareold
anddon' tf ul
lunder st
andever ythi
ngj ustasyetas
l
ongassheandIknowwhati swhat .SonowIl et
mymot hert alkandboycanshet alk.Shei nsist
son
thebabyshowerandweagr eedthatitbedoneonce
thebabyi sbor n.Shei nvitedNt ombiandweonce
againhadt oeducat eheri nt hatoncet hebabyi s
bornNt ombiandIgooursepar ateways.Iassume
shef earst hatNt ombiwon' tbeabl et ol etgoandI
wi l
ladmi tthatIhavet hosef ear
st oobutNt ombi
seemsr elaxedandkeepst hingspr ofessi onalsoI
trustshewon' tgoagai nstouragr eement .Ihave
beengoi ngt ochur chbutIhavenotdi sclosedt hatI
havest artedwi ththesur r
ogacy.Idon' twant
negat i
veandchur chpeopl ecansomet imeshave
plentyoft hat.Onl ymyf ri
endVusiGumbiwhoi s
alsocof ounderoft hemedi acompanyIam CEOat
knows.

Iwasi
ntheof
fi
ceaboutt
oheadoutt
opi
ckNt
ombi
upfrom herappointment.Ihopetheeggretri
eval
hasnotputtoomuchst r
ainonher .Iknowallt
he
doctor
'sappoint
ment shavebeenexhaust i
ng.Iput
myjacketonwhenVusiwal kedinwi t
hpapersI
neededtosignbef or
egoing.

Vusi:“
Themani si
nsuchahurr
ythathedoesnot
evenhaveti
met oputi
nkonpaper
”,hej
okedand
webot hl
aughed.

Li
yema:“ Idon'tknowhowt odaywi l
lbeforNt ombi,
bra.Theysaidi twi
llnotbepai nf
ultoretr
ievet he
eggsbutwemenwi l
lneverreall
yknowwhat
womangot hrough”,Isaidandst oodjustlookingat
me.

Vusi
:“HadInotknownbetterI'
dhavet
houghtyou
ar
egoingtogetyourdearwife.
”

Li
yema:“
Wel
lgoodt
hingyouknowbet
ter
.Gi
veme
thosesoIcansi
gnandgo”
,hehandedmet
he
papersandIsi
gned.

Vusi:“Whenwi
llImeett
hisl
adywhowi
llmakei
t
possibl
eformetobeanuncle?
”

Liyema:“Never
.Youhavenobusi nessknowingher.
She'snotatmyhouset omeetmyf amilyand
buddiesandcomet oeventswit
hme.I ti
senough
thatshegotexposedtomyf at
her'srudenessand
mymot her'
sneverendingchet
ter.Itmightbetoo
muchandshemi ghtchangehermi nd”

Vusi
:“Ihearyou,man.I'
m actual
lyexci
ted.Myboy
wil
lhaveajuniorsoon.Iknowyouhavebeen
wanti
ngachi l
dsince.
..
since.
..
uhm.”

Li
yema:”Si
nceIgotmarri
ed.Thereisareasonwhy
i
twasnevermeantt ohappenther
eandIam
gr
atef
ul.Ican'
timagi
nehavinganeternalbondwi
th
thatwoman” .Isai
dhopi
ngi
twi
llbet
heendoft
his
conversat
ion.

Henoddedandwesai dgoodbye.Hei stheonl y

per sonwhoknowst heent i
restory.Heknowst he
realr easonwhymymar ri
ageendedt hingsIhave
notevent oldmyf amily.Myexwi fei sZingi sa
Elephant .IsayEl ephantbecauseevenaf terthe
divorcesher efusest ochanget ohermai den
sur name.Somet hi
ngIsuspectmyf ather
encour agedbecausehehast ol
dmemanyt imes
thataccor dingt ocul t
ureshei sst i
llmywi fe.Ifonly
theyknewt her easonswhyIbr okei tofwi thher ,t
he
realr easons.Zi ngiwasagi rlwhosef ami lyand
mi newer ecl ose.Socl oset hatourf ami l
iesmadeus
believet hatwewer esoulmat es.Justsoonaf ter
varsityt hepr essur etogetmar r
iedst arted.Iwas
justnotr eadybutIf eltli
keitwast henextbestt hi
ng
todo.Wegavei ntothepr essureandIt hinkwebot h
knewt hatwedi dnotl oveeachot herbeyondt he
l
oveofchi ldhoodf r
iends.Ourmar riagewas
awkwar datf ir
stbutwel etthefriendshi pwehad
l
eadusandi tbecamebet ter.I
twaseasiertobea
mar r
iedcouplewhodi dwhati sexpect
edofmar ri
ed
couplesuntilt
hingsj ustchanged.Icannotgetover
howmucht hingschangeandhowIendedupbei ng
theonewhohadt opayatt heend.Thi
nkingabouti
t
mademeangr y.Isnappedoutofmybi t
terthought
s
andt houghtabouthowt odaywasagoodday, aday
closertobeingaf ather.

Idr
ovetothecli
nicandfoundNtombisit
ti
ngand
wai
tingf
ormeal r
eady.Igreet
edheragai
neveni
fI
sawheraboutanhourago.

Li
yema:“
Howar
eyouf
eel
ing?
”

Ntombi:“
Justmildcr
ampsandsomespott
ing.I'
'be
fi
nethough.Theysai
dIshoul
datl
eastr
estfor24
hours”

Li
yema:“
Youcanhangyourf
eetuphi
ghandIwi
ll
beyourservant
.”Isaidandwebothl
aughed.“
Was
i
tpainf
ul?Iknowt heysaidi
twon'
tbebuthey”
,I
l
if
tedmyhandsup.

Ntombi:“Therewassomediscomf
ortbutnotpai
n.I
wasgivenmor emedicat
ion,
somet
hingabout
helpi
ngthelini
ngofmywomb. ”

Li
yema:“
Okay,
doyouneedanyt
hing?
”

Ntombi:“Ij
ustwantt
ogohome.Imeant
oyour
house”
, shesai
dandlookeddown.

Li
yema:“ Thankyou, Nt
ombi .Thankyou
MamTshawe.Li keIsai
dnoamountofmoneywi ll
showmygr ati
tudeenough.Tot hi
nkthatinsi
xorso
daystheywi l
lbeplanti
ngtheembr yoisyourwomb
andthenextst ageofourjourneybegins”
,sai
dand
shestart
edt ocry.
Ntombi:“I'
m sorr
y.Ithinkthistr
eat
mentsti
llmakes
mehavemoodswi ngs.Idon'tknowwhyIam
cryi
ng”,shesaidwhilecover i
ngherfacewit
hher
top.Isatcl
osertoherandwr appedmyarm around
her.Idon'
tdoaf f
ecti
onmuchbutwi thherIhaveto
trybecausesheisdoi ngthisforme.

Liyema:“Canyoui magi
nehowwor seitwil
lbewhen
youarepr egnant,soIhadbett
erpract
icemy
consoli
ngski l
lsnowbecauseIsuckati t
.Ifeel
awkwardj ustgivingpeopl
ehugs,l
ikenow”,she
l
aughedsof tl
y, herheadst
il
lhi
ddeninhertop.

Ntombi:“
Isthatwhyyouaresi
tt
ingl
iker
obbo-
cop
nextt
ome” ,sheshowedhersmil
eyt
earfi
ll
edface
andwebot hlaughed.

Ll
iyema:“
Ohcomeon,
I'
mtr
yingher
e.”

Nt
ombi
:“Yes,
youar
e.I
fmanymenwer
eli
ket
his,
chi
ldr
enwoul
dnotknowwhatbr okenhomesar
e.”
,
shesaidi
twi
thsuchsadness.

Li
yema:“ Arewet al
kingaboutt hefatherofyour
chil
d?Look, yourboymi ghtnothavegr ownupi na
tr
aditi
onalhomewi thamot herandf atherundert he
samer oofli
keyouandIdi dbutyouar egi vi
nghi m
l
oveandt hatshouldcountf oralot.Evenmychi ld
wil
lnotgrowupi nat r
adit
ionall
ystructur edhome
buthewi l
lneverlack,ther
eforewillnotf eellikehe
i
sf r
om abr okenhome.Ist il
lbeli
evei ttakesa
vi
ll
aget oraiseachild.Yourboyhashi svi ll
ageand
minewi l
ltoobecausemymot herandbr otherwill
bethere.”
,Isaidandshel ookedatmeandnodded.

Nt
ombi
:“Yeah”
,shesai
dsof
tl
y.

Iapologi
zedt
oherfornotbei
ngwithherduri
ngthi
s
procedur
eandpromisedtobether
ewhent he
i
mpl anti
sbei
ngmadei nafewdays.Shesaidther
e
i
snoneedbutIinsist
ed.Iwil
lmakesurethatmy
seducei sclearont hatdayandmyat t
entioni swi th
herandt hepr ocessf ul l
y.Tot hinkt hatmysper m
andhereggi sbeingcombi nedt of orm anembr yo
thatwillsoonbeahumanbei ngwi thahear tbeat .
Ntombihasbeenl ayingof fanyf orm ofjunkf ood
becausesheknewhowi mpor tantherbei ngheal thy
i
st omebutt odayIaskedheri fshewoul dl i
ket o
i
ndul geonsomesweetst uffsi nceIpr omi sedt o
takecar eofher.Shenamedal otofsweett reat s
andgott hem all.Ialsogavehert hemoneyf ort he
eggdonat i
on.Ihavegi venhermoneyandIt hought
shewoul dgoshoppi ngbutshedoesnot .I s
shoppingnott hef ir
stt hingwoment hi
nkofwhen
theyhavemoney?St rangel yenoughsheaskedt hat
Iputsomei ntoheraccountandgi vesomecash.
Thef actthatI'
m bendi ngsomel awsbygi vingher
moneydoesnotsi twel lwithmebutshei sasi ngle
mot hertoaboychi l
dsosheneedsi t
.Ihadt ogo
backt owor ksoIl eftheri nmydomest i
cwor kers
care.Theygetal ongwel l
.Euni cei smyhel p'sname.
Kindandst ubbornwomant hatIl oveasmysecond
mot her.
Eunice:“
Lastni
ghtIhadadream butIwil
lnottel
l
you.
” ,
shesaidwhi
lepret
endi
ngtobewi pi
ngt he
tabl
e.SheknowsIwillwantt
oknowwhati twas.

Li
yema:“
Youwantt
otel
lme,
Mamzosodot
ell
.”

Euni
ce:“
Therewasabi
g.Bi
ghouse.Yourhouseis
amatchboxcompar
edt
oit”
,shesai
dandIlaughed.

Liyema:“Thi
sisnotamansi on.Ionl
yhavet hree
bedroomsheresosorryifitdoesnotcompar eto
thehouseyoudream about”,shehat
edi twhenI
i
nt er
rupt
edhersoshejuststoodandl ookedatme
andIknewIhadt oshutit.

Euni
ce:“
Inthishousewasal otofbabies.
Ever
ywhereyoulooktherewherebabiesjust
ever
ywhere.Youturnl
eftther
ewerebabi es,
tur
n
ri
ght
,babi
es.Itwasstrange,myboy”
Li
yema:“I
'm sur
eyourdr eam toopeni
ngadaycare
i
sclosert
obeingr eal
it
ythanyour eal
ize.That
dr
eam wasshowi ngyout hat
”,

Euni
ce:“
Ther
eismor
e,Li
yemal
etmef
ini
sh”

Liyema:“AndIwi l
ll i
stentoi talll
ater
.Ihavea
presentat
ioninanhourandVusiwoul dkil
lmei fI
don;='tar
ri
veont i
me. .Pleasel ookafterNtombifor
me.I fshewantstohel pyoucl eanagaingiveher
that'DON'TYOUDARE”l ookyoual waysgiveme, i
t
alwaysdoest hetrick.Iwillseeyoul adi
eslaterand
Mmasai dsheiscomi nglater.Ifshecomesear ly
pleasedon'tall
owhert owakeNt ombiup.Youknow
howsheget s.I
'm offnow.Il oveyouMaEu- Eu”,I
saidandspedoft ot hedoor .

Eunice:“
Liyema!Ther
eismor
etot
hedr
eam t
hanA
creche.
Li
yema:“
Lat
er!
”,Ishout
edandwentoutoft
hedoor
.

MaEu- Eui ssomeonewhobel ievesi nsuper st iti

ona
l
otsoI '
m sur eshehassomebi zar rer easonf ort his
dream.Shehasal wayswant edt ohaveadaycar e
forbabi esandt oddlersandshewi llbegr eat.Iwi l
l
evenenr ollmyboyt herei fshedeci dest of i
nal l
y
fol
lowherdr eam.I '
m sur ehewi llbet hef avorite
childatschoolbutIt rusthert ol ookaf t
erhim and
otherbabi est oo.Shedoesnotwantmet ohel pher
fi
nanci all
y.It hi
nkIshoul ddr awupani nvestor '
s
proposali nsteadsi nceshedoesnotwanthand
outs, wecanbebusi nesspar t ner s.IwonderwhyI
havenott houghtoft hatear li
er .?Ispedof ft
ot he
officetogohookanewcompanyt omakebusi ness
withus.Vusii sst r
ongeri npr esent ingt hanmebutI
havemeannegot iati
onski ll
s.Wecoul dsendoneof
ourempl oyeesbutt hisisabi gcl ientsohewi ll
appr eciatethebossesgi vinghi m per sonalatt ention
ratherthansendi ngast affmember .Ourbusi ness
i
snewandwear enotf il
thyr ichyetbutwear ebot h
happywitht heprogress.Wewi l
laffordthose
holi
daybeachhousessomeday.It houghtofMa
Eunicecall
ingmyhouseamat chboxandl aughed
again.Il
ovet hewomansomuch.I 'm sureNtombi
wil
lhearaboutt hatdream andIwillitfr
om Ntombi
becauseMaEul eavesbeforeIcomehome.
[
03/
28,
11:
19]Lynne:NI
NETEEN

MRSB

Ihavebeenbacki ntheEast ernCapeforaweek

nowandIst il
lhavenotgonet oseeBandl
a'sfamil
y.
Mysi stermovedt oEastLondonsomymot heris
alsoher e.Itoldthem everythi
ngaboutNtombiand
mymot hercoul dnotbel i
evethatNobandlahad
died.Itaffectedhersomucht hatwehadtotakeher
toadoct or.Thatist
her easonwhyIhavenotgone
andseeBandl afamil
ybecausei fmymothercould
besoaf fectedbyherl ossIcannotimaginehow
herownpar entswil
lreact.Thelastt
hingthatIwant
i
st okillthem.Mymot hersaidImustdowhati s
ri
ghtandt hati slett
ingBandl a'spar entsknowt hat
theirchildisnomor e.Shesayst hathadt het abl es
beent urnedshewoul dhavewant edt oknowt hat
I'
mr estinginst eadofhol dingont of alsehopeofme
onedaywal kingt hr
ought hegat eandshei sr ight .I
drovet oPeddi einmysi ster'scar .Ihavenotbeen
behindt hewheelsi ncet hehi jacki ng.If earedt hatI
woul dhaveanot herpani cat t
ackbutGoddi dnot
all
owi t.Iarrivedsaf ely.Thespeedoft hecar
becamesl owerasIwasget ti
ngcl osert omy
destination.Iwasf eelingal lkindsofemot i
ons.I
fi
nal l
yar ri
vedandpar kedmycari nf rontoft hel ime
greenhouset hathadt wor ondavel soft hesame
colour.Thei rhousehasnotchangedmuch.I ti sj ust
biggerandhasanext r ar ondavel .MaMl anducame
outoft hehousewear ingapi nkapr onoverher
clothes.Shehad“ unot yel i
”al loverherf acewhi ch
gaveherf aceamust ar dcol our .Thatusedt obeour
sunpr otectionwhenwegr ewup.I tisamust ar d
colourpowderandwewoul dmi xitwi thwat ert o
form apast et oputoverourf aces.Thegap
betweent hehouseandt hegat ewasqui telarge
becauseoft hehugesi zeoft heyar dbutshewal ked
tothegateasf astasshecoul d.Nobandl aand
Ntombiarebot hMaMl andu'
sphot ocopy.Istepped
outofthecarsoshecoul dseet hatIam notsome
stal
ker.Shedidnotr ecogni
zemeatf irstbutwhen
shefinal
lydidherfacel i
tup.Sheopenedt hegate
andIwasi nherar msbef or
eIknewi t
.“ Tat
aka
Nobandla”,shekeptonshout ing,call
ingher
husbandf r
om wher everheishiding.Theol dman
madehi swayf rom thebackoft hehouse.The
yearshavecaughtuponhi m.Theoncesmoot h
skinisnowcover edwi t
hwr i
nkles.Hest il
lhasthe
sli
m bodyframehehadyear sago.

MrMlandu:“
Whatisit
?Ialmostcutmyselfwitha
kni
fewhenyoucall
edoutbecauseIthoughtyou
werebei
ngatt
acked.
”,hesai
dlooki
ngsoser i
ous.

Mr sMlandu:“
Lookwhohascomet ovisi
tus”,she
saidwhilel
ookingatmewi t
hasmi le.Theoldman
l
ookedatmebutIcoul dseethathedidnot
recogni
zeme.“ It
'sNokumkaniandSolomzi's
daught
er,
sh.
..
”

MrMl andu:“
MyBandl e'
sfr
iend.Youhavegr ownso
much, mychil
d.Evenyourmot herisnowheretobe
seenlatel
yaft
ershemoved.Wher eareyouall
hidi
ngyoursel
ves?”,
heshookmyhand.

Mr sB:“Hell
o,Tatawear eallst
illwel
l.Mamahadto
l
ivewithoneofmysi st
ersbecausewehaveal l
movedaway, uTatapassedonandshebecamet o
weakt olookafterher
self.Shetoldmetosendmy
greet
ings.Sheisnotwel lbutpromisedtocome
withmet henextt i
methatIvisi
t.”

MrsMl andu:“Letusgoin,youknowhowt hese

nosypeoplegetwhent heyseeaf ancycararound
here.Iwanttohearallaboutyourli
fe,mybaby.I
havebakedf reshsconesandmadej am mysel
fso
youcameatt heri
ghtti
me.”,shesaidandwe
walkedintothehouse.
MrsB:“Inevert
olduMamat hi
sbutyourscones
wherealwaysmyf avour
it
ecompar
edtoher s.
”,we
bot
hlaughed.

MrMlandu:“I
tseemsyoutwowi l
lbediscussi
ng
womanrelat
edstuffandIwi
llnotbeapartofthat
.
Mychil
d,i
tisgoodtoseeyou.Youhavegr ownint
o
abeaut
if
ulyoungwoman.Idon'twanttointer
rupt
sol
etmegobackt omendingthefenceattheback”

Mr sB:“Tat
a.Iwoul
dactual
lyappreci
ateiti
fyou
stay.I
tisgoodtoseeyoubothtoobutthereisa
reasonwhyIcame.Ihavesomucht otel
lyou..
.”

MrsMlandu:“Nobandla?”
,shesaidsof
tl
yandthe
cheeri
nhervoicefaded.InoddedandMrMlandu
pull
edachairoutf
ormet ositon.

Thi
smanwasagent
lemanbef
orebei
nga
gent l
emanwasat rend.Hehasal waysbeent he
opposi teofmyf atherbutt heymadet hei rfriendship
wor k.IrememberwhenNobandl aandIusedt oplay
pretendandwewoul dhavea“ teapar ty”,hemade
ti
met ositandl etusser vehi mi magi nar yt ea.My
fatherwoul dsayhedi esnothavet imef orchi ld's
play.Weusedt opayshopt ooandwoul dpi ckup
enmi tycont ai
nersf rom t hest reetandt hoseusedt o
beourst ock.Nobandl a'
sf at herusedt oact ual ly
giveusmoneyf orour“ good”eveni fitwasj ust
empt yt r
ash.Myf atherwoul dsayi tisawast eof
money.Sot hatiswhyIal wayst ol
dNt ombit hather
grandpar entswoul dnevert urnheraway.Iknow
them bot ht obekind.Mr sMl andui sst rictbutki nd.
Mr sMl andumadet eaandsconesf orthet hreeof
usandputsomeofherhome- madej am onsome.
Themoodi nthehousesuddenl ychengedwhen
theyknewt hatIhadnewsaboutt heirdaught er.I
knowt hatapar toft hem hopest hatIwi l
lsayshei s
ali
veandwant stor eturnhome.Usual lyi nsuch
situati
onspeopl ewoul dbeanxi oust oknowr ight
awaywhatIhadt osaybutt heset wower ecal m.
Per hapst heythoughtaboutal ltheyear st heyhad
beenwai ti
ngsowhatwoul daf ewmi nut esofmor e
wai tingdo.Oncewewher eal lseat edt heybot h
l
ookedatme.If i
rstt ookasi poft het eat owetmy
dryt hr oat.Mymot heradvi sedmet onott ryand
sof tsoapt hingsbybeat ingar oundt hebush, t
hatI
mustbedi rectandsaywhatIwantsot hati swhatI
did.It ol
dt heent i
rest ory.Ther ewascompl ete
si
lencef r
om bot hoft hem.Theywer ehol di
nghands
overt hetabl eandj ustl ookedateachot her .Ma
Ml andut henbr okedownwhi chwaswhatI
expect edt ohappen.Icoul dseet hesadnessi nher
husband' seyesbuthehel di ttoget her .Webot h
tr
iedourbestt ocomf ortMaMl andu.If eltasharp
paini nmyhear t.Whi let hosewhower et herewhen
Bandl adiedhaveheal edf rom t hel ossandmoved
on, itwasst i
llr
awt oherpar ent sandmysel f.I
f
someonewal kedi nher et heywoul dt hinkNobandl a
diedj ustnowt hewayt hesadnessl inger edi nthe
house.Myt earsf lewdownmycheeksandIwas
notaboutt opr etendt hatIam f ine.MrMl andu
madeacal landwi t
hi naf ewmi nutesNobandl a's
brot her ,
Bandi l
ewal kedi n.hewast oldwhat
happenedt ohissi sterandhej ustfel lintot hechair
behindhi mindi sbeli
ef.Hestar
tedtocrybutwiped
histearsquickly.Iwishmenknewt hati
tisokayto
cry,thattheywon' tl
oset hei
rmanlystat
uswithi
n
thecommuni t
y.IfearedthatMaMl anduwould
passoutl ikemymot heralmostdidbutshedidnot.
Aftertheypr ocessedt henewssomewhatwesat
aroundt hetableagai nandnoonewasi nt
hemood
forthecol dteainf r
ontofus.

Bandil
e:“ Sot hatdogt ookmysi st erawayfrom
homeanddoesnothavet henervet otocomeand
tel
lusthatshehasdi es?Whatki ndofmanbur iesa
womanwi t
houtherf ami lybecausehewasnoteven
asoni nlawi nt hi
shouse.Nobandl awassuppose
tobebur iedbyherf ami ly.Thatmanhadnor i
ght
becausehedi dnothonourt hisfami l
ywithlobola
formysi ster.TosayI 'm angryrightnowi san
understatement ..
”,hesai dwithanger .

MrMlandu:“
Mychildi
snomoreandIwasnoteven
abl
etosaygoodbyeorl
ayhert
orest
.Mzi
wakhedid
acowardlyt
hing.Nobandlacan'
tbeburi
edinhi
s
famil
y'
sgravesit
ewhent herewasnorel
ati
onbuil
t
betweenusandhisfamily.
”

MaMl andu:“Letusgoandgetourchil
d'sremains
andbur yherherewher
eshebelongs.I
'm sureshe
i
snotr est
inginpeace.
”

MrsB:“I
tseemstheyweremar
ri
edlegal
ly,
Mama
andi
fthatist
hecasethent
hecour
tmightnotal
low
yout
odot hat
.”

Bandi
le:“I
fthatmanst i
llhasanymoredignit
yl ef
t
asanAf ri
canmanwi thknowledgeofhi
scul t
urehe
wil
lnotinvol
veotherpar t
iesi
nthi
smatter.Thisis
moreacul t
urali
ssuethanawest er
none.Tat awe
shoul
dgot oQueenstownandseehi m.”

Mr
sB:“
Idon'
tknowwher
ehel
ives.
”
BANdil
e:“
Wewillaskar
oundunt
ilwef
indhi
m,even
i
fitt
akesusweeks.”

MaMl andu:“Nopar entwantstoheartheirchil

dis
dead.Ihavemader oom f
orsomedi sappointi
ng
newsbutt oactuall
yhearthatsheisreal
lydeadhas
hi
tmei nawayt hatnoparentshoul
dknow.What
wasBandl athi
nkingwhensher anof fwit
ht hat
man.”

MrMl andu:“
Itwasyounglove,
andfor
biddenl
ove
atthatsotheconnect
ionwastoost
rongbetween
them.”

MrsB:“
For
biddenlove?Sot
hefamil
ydidnotwant
hert
omerr
yandt hati
swhysheranoff
?”
Bandil
e:“
Theirunionwasadi sgrace.Whomar r
ies
thei
rownrelat
ive?Mymot her'
scl annamei s
MamTshaweandMzi wakhe'sisal soTshawe.I
nthe
Xhosacult
uretheyareconsideredr el
ati
ves.
Nobandl aknewthatwewoul dnotl etherget
marriedtosomeonewi ththesamecl annameas
ourmot hersoshedecidedt orebelandrunof f
i
nsteadofobeyingcult
ur e.
”,heshout edbefore
taki
ngadeepbr eathandbr eat
hingoutsl owly.

Ifinallyfoundther easonwhymyf r
iendranaway
from home.Shechosel oveovercul tur
e.Iwillnot
evendar etojudgehersi tuationbecauseIhave
neverbeeni nsuchapr edicament .I
twoul dexplain
whyt heynevertoldNt ombit het r
uth.Ntombii s
qui t
ef amili
arwithhercul tureandIassumet heydi d
notwanthert ofeel li
keacur seofsomesor t
.I
wonderwhatIwoul dhavedonehadIbeeni nthat
situation.Bandlamadeachoi ceandhadt olivewith
i
t.It oldthem aboutNt ombiandt heywer e
saddenedt oheart hatshel i
kehermot herranf r
om
homet obewithaman.Hergr andparentsasked
thatIpl easenotgi veupint ryingtofindher
becauset hei
rhear tsandhomesar eopenf orher.I
knewt heywoul dsayt hat.Bandi l
eont heother
handkeptonsayi nghowt heyshoul dfir
stdoa
ri
tualforNtombiandsl aught erablackgoatbef ore
theycanf ull
ywel comeher .MrMl anduputhi sson
i
nhi splacebef or
ehecoul devenf inishtalki
ng.Mr
Mlandusai dthathei sthemanoft hehouseandi f
Bandilewant stogiveor dersheshoul dgodoi tin
hiswifewi t
hhi swifeandchi l
dren.Bandi l
estil
lhad
angerbecauseofNobandl a,andIf earhei stheone
whowi llt
akei toutonNt ombi .Nt
ombidi dnot
chooset obebor nt oparentswhowentagai nst
cult
ure.Shei sinnocenti nallofthis.Ipromisedto
l
ookf orNtombiandt el
lhert hathergr andparents
wantherhome.I '
m suret hatshewi l
lbehappyt o
hearthat.

NTOMBI

Todayisthedayt hatLi yemahasbeenwai ti

ngfor,
theembryowi l
lbetr ansferredt
omywomb.Wel lnot
reall
ybecauseitwillnotgett ot
hat.Ifeell
ikea
pieceofmysoulissol dtothedevilwitheachdayI
am apartofthi
s.Thewor stpar
tisthefactthat
Liyemahasbeennot hingbutki nd.Hei sabusy
manbutsomehowal waysf indachancet ol i
stent o
howmydaywas.Hi smot herhasbeenso
suppor tiveandhasbr oughthergr andsont hemost
ador ablebabygr owout fi
t.Itisi nthosemoment s
whenIf eelli
kecomi ngcl ean.Thesepeopl ear e
gettingexci t
edaboutsomet hingt hatwi l
lnot
happen, notwi t
hmyhel panyway.I '
vemetLi yema' s
youngerbr otherandhei sachar acter.Hisf ather
hasnotcomear oundnorcal ledhi m sincet heday
hecamewi thhi smot her.Icanseet hatitaffects
himt hathi sfatherisnotspor tive.Icanheari tinhis
voicet ooont hoserareoccasi onswhenwet alk
about .Hesai dt hei
rchur chwi l
lhaveanot herbig
gather i
ngandIknowt hatZim andhermom wi llgo.
Imi sst hem.

Igotr
eadytogot othecli
nic.Liyemawon'tbeable
tocomewithmebecausehehasani mpor
tant
meeti
ngwhi chisgoodbecauseIdon' twanthimto
come.Ineverthoughtt
hatINt ombiPotiwould
somedaybeaconwoman.I ti
st ruewhentheysay
thatoneshoul dneversaynever .Ienjoyli
vingin
thiscott
age/ backroom evenifLiyemathinksiti
s
toosmal l
.Ther ewasaknockont hedoorandI
thoughtitisMaEur emindingmet ohavebreakfast
beforeIleave.Shehasal sotreatedmewi thnothing
butrespectandki ndness.Thel oveshehasf or
Liyemaiscl earforallt
osee.Iopenedt hedoorand
wasgr eetedbyasmi li
ngMrEl ephant.

Li
yema:“
Ready?
”,heaskedcheer
ful
ly.

Ntombi:“
Ithoughtyoucal
ledf
orataxit
opi
ckme
upbecauseofani mpor
tantmeet
ing”

Li
yema:“Yes,butIcancell
edthattocomewi thyou.
Youhavebeengoi ngtomostoft hese
appoi
ntmentsalone,NtombiandIf eell
ikei
tis
unfai
r”

Nt
ombi
:“I
'
m notyourwi
fewhosehandyouneedt
o
hold,
Liyema.Youjustboughtmyeggsandwi l
lrent
mywomb” ,
Iregr
ett
edmywor dsri
ghtaft
ersaying
them.Helookeddown.“ I
'
m sorr
y,I'
mjustnervous
andI'
m abum ofaper sonsometimes.
”,Isai
dand
helookedatme.

Liyema:“ You'
renotanass.Idon' tknowhowot her
meni nt hesamesituati
onasmedi dthings,Nt
ombi .
Ihaver eadstori
esandIr eali
zedt hateachdidwhat
feltr
ightforthem.Thisfeelsrightforme.Iwantmy
boyt oknowhowmuchIl ookedf orwardtohaving
him andIappr eci
ateyouallowi ngmet omakeuse
ofyourbody.Wel luseisnott her i
ghtwor d,
Idon't
mea. .
.”

Ntombi
:“Li
yema,Iunderst
and.Pl
easegi
vemet
ime
t
ogetready”
,hesmiledandnodded.

It
ookthephonethatBongagavemet hatwasonl
y
al
lowedtohavehisnumberonit.Idon’tknowwhat
Iwil
ldobecauseIthoughti
twouldjustbemeand
thatdoctort hatisi
nonBonga' sscam.Thephone
rangandwentt ovoicemai l
.Itr
iedonceagainand
hef i
nall
ypi ckedup.It oldhim aboutwhatisgoing
onandhej ustlaughedandt oldmet ostopbei
nga
cowar d.Het oldmet or el
ax,thathisguyknows
whatt odoandhunguponme.Iam sur et
odayis
thedayIwi llbegoi ngtoj ai
lfortr
yingtoscam an
i
nnocentmanofhi smoney.Amanwhohasdone
nothingtome, Bonga, Waynenoranyonei nvol
ved
i
nt his.I
'm disgustedbywhoIhavebecome.

Imademywayt othemai nhouset ohavebr eakfast

there.Liyemaof fer
edt obuybreakf astonourway.
MaEupr ayedbeforeleftandIwassur ethathellis
wher eI'
m goi ngfordoingthistothesepeopl e.The
l
ookofexci tementandner vousnessi nLiyema' s
eyescr ushedmyspi ri
t.Wegotintot hecarandhe
waspl ayinghi schurchhymnsandwoul d
occasional l
ysingalong.Hisvoicest il
lhi
tspar tof
mybei ngt hatIdidnotevenknowwher ethere.We
gottakeawaybr eakfastformeandIat eonourway
tothecl i
nic.Icouldnotgetmuchi n.somet hingfelt
off,Ican'
tdescr i
beit.Itwast hesamef eelingIgot
thedayMr sBgothi jackedandi thadmewor r
ied
butIonceagai nchoset oi gnoremygutf eel i
ng.We
arri
vedatt heclini
candIwassoonpr epar edf orthe
procedure.Adoct orthati snott heonewhoi s
handl i
ngourcasewal kedi n.Ithoughthewas
comi ngtogetsomet hingi nt her oom andl eavebut
i
nst eadhei ntr
oducedhi msel fandsai dt hecase
washandedt ohi m becauseourusualdoct orwasin
acaracci dent.Isweari tf eltli
keIwasgoi ngt o
throwup.Li yemasai di tisal lfi
newi thhim.What
shoul dIdo?Mymi ndhi tacompl eteblank.Icoul d
notevensayIwantt ogot ot hebat hroom because
theygavemewat ertof illmybl adderf ort his
procedure.I'm sur
prisedt heur i
nehasnotcomeout
byi t
selfbecauseI '
m aner vouswr eck.

DR:“Don'
tlooksofr
ight
ened,mam.Imi ghtbe
youngert
hanyourprevi
ousdoctorbutIhavedone
thi
smanyt i
mes.Youareinsafehands”,hesai
d
wit
hasmi l
e.
Li
yema:“AndI
'
m her
etoo.Ever
ythi
ngwi
llbef
ine.
”,
hesmil
ed.

Dr:“
Letusgett
oitt
henbeforeyourbladderburst
.I
l
ookedatyourf
il
eandImustsayyouar ethe
heal
thi
estwomanI'
veeverencounteredinalong
whil
e.DrThomas'
srepor
tsinyourfil
earegreatsoI
don'
tseewhyyouwon'tbepregnantinfewweeks”,
hesaidst
il
lsmi
li
ng.

Li
yema:“Areyouokay?
”,heaskedandl
ookedatme.
Ij
ustnodded.

Dr :I'
m goingtoinsertt
hisspeculum i
ntoyour
vagi na.Yourfil
esaysyouhavehadapapsmear
bef oresoyoushoul dbef amil
iarwit
hthisobject
.It
i
st oopenupyourvagi nasot hatIcanhaveabet ter
viewofwhatIwi llbedoing.
”,hiswordslef
t
Liyema' smout hwifeopen.Iguesshepicturedhow
thisobj ectwi
llopenmyvagi na.
Ididnothearwhatel sehesai daf terthatbutIcoul d
seeLi yemanoddi ngwhi l
et hedoct orspoke.I
accept edt hatther ewasnot hingthatIcoul ddobut
l
ett hem dowhati ssupposet obedonewhi chmight
l
eadt omeget tingpr egnantonl ytol oset hechi l
d
ri
ghtaf ter.Iknewsomet hingwoul dgowr ongandI
wasr ight.Bonga' sdoct orhavi nganacci dentont he
bigdayconf i
rmst hatt hisi swr ong.Il ookedat
LiyemaandIcoul dnotbr ingmysel ftobr eakhi s
hear t.Iwasaf raidt hathewoul dhat eme, Ihateme.
Idon' twanthi mt ol osef aithi nyetanot herwoman
becauseIknowt hathi sexhur thi
m, I'
mj ustnot
surehowandt hatchangedhi sent ireout lookon
woman, wel lonar omant i
cl evelthati s.Iwanthi m
totryagai nt ohaveachi ld..ifItellhimt het rut
hhe
willlosef ai t
hint heI VFpr ocessandmi ghtnever
wantt ot r
yagai n.I fIdot hi sandgetpr egnantand
l
oset hebaby, hewi llbesadbuthemi ghtt ryagain
withadi fferentdonororImi ghtnotevenget
pregnantandt henhecant ryfindinganot her
womant odoi tf orhi m.Iwanthi mt obeaf ather
someday.SoIwi llnotlethi ml osef aith.I'
m willi
ng
tor i
skdoi ngt hi sandhopet hati twi l
lbe
unsuccessf ul.Thedoct ordi dwhathewas
supposedt o.I twasuncomf ortabl ebutnotpai nf ul.
Eveni fitwas, Iwoul dhavedeser vedi tanyway.The
procedur ewasoverandIwast akent ot herecover y
room andwast oldtolayonmybackf orabout30
mi nutes.Li yemaneverl eftmysi de.Mygui ltmade
megoqui et.Itwasgui lt,fearandhat redformysel f
.
I'
m sur eMamai st ur
ningi nhergr aver i
ghtnow.
Thi sisnott hewomanshehopedI '
dturnintoto.
Liyemal eftt her oom andIt ookt hechancet omove
aroundi nbedandgoagai nstt hel ayingonmyback
thedoct orsai dImustdo.Thi smi ghthel psoIdon' t
getpr egnant .Iwasabl et ogohomeaf t
erfourhour s
andIst il
ldidnotsayasi ngl ewor d.Icoul dseet he
l
ookofconcer nonLi yema' sface.MaEuof f
eredme
foodbutIaskedt ogor est .Liyemadi dnott rytot al
k
mei ntoeat ingbutal lowedmemyspace.Ist arted
todoexer cisesandwentagai nstt hedoct or’srest
order s.Iexer cisedunt ilitfeltlikeIwoul dcoll
apse.I
l
ower edmysel ft othef loorandst ar t
edt ocry.Ther e
i
sal ovingmani nthemai nhousewhoi smost
probabl
yonhiskneespr ayingt
hatIbepr egnant
,
whileIt
rymybesttonotmaket hathappen.No
wondergoodmenl ikeLiyemachangef ortheworst
andbuil
dwallsaroundtheirheart
s.Iti
swomenl ike
mewhot urnthei
rheartstostone.Therewasasof t
knockonthedoor.Iwentt owashmyf aceand
openedthedoor.

Li
yema:“Wereyoucr
ying?Pl
easedon'
tshutme
out
”,hepl
eaded.

Ntombi:“I
'
m sor
ryforever
ythi
ng.Youdon'
tdeser
ve
thi
s.Thisi
stheopposit
eofwhatapersonwho
passedapsycol
ogyevaluati
onwoulddo.
”

Liyema:“Scr
ewt heevaluati
on.Youar enotsome
machi newit
hnoemot ions.Thishasbeeni nvasive
andi ti
sthefi
rstti
meyouar ebeingasur rogate.I'
m
notsomej er
kwhoexpect syoutojustsuck
everythi
gnupandgi vemewhatIwant ,Ntombi .
Investi
nginyourwell-
beingmeansi nvest
inginmy
baby'
swel lbei
ng.I
fyouar
enotokayhemi
ghthave
heal
thissues”

Nt
ombi:“I
fIgetpregnant
.Pl
easel
eaver
oom f
or
di
sappoi
ntment”

Liyema:“Whatwoul
dthatsayaboutmyf ai
th?My
fait
hisnotweak,Nt
ombi .Ihearwhatt
hedoctors
aresayingandsci
enti
ficfact
sbutIknowthatli
feis
notjustbl
ackandwhite.”

Ntombi:“Iwi
llfai
lyou”,Isai
dandcri
ed.Hehugged
me.Itwasnott hatroboti
chughegavemet hatday
butaproperwar m hug.Botharmsti
ght
lywrapped
aroundmyshoul ders.Icoul
dhearhi
sheartbeat,
thati
showcl osewewer etoeachot
her.Noman
hasgivenmesuchahug.

Liyema:“
Ihat
ethi
nki
ngnegati
vel
yandIhate
thinki
ngt
oofari
ntot
hefut
ure.I
'm awewi
lldeal
wit
hitoncewegett
oitorr
atheri
fwegettoi
tki
nd
ofman.”
,hesai
dandIwangledmysel
foutofhi
s
arms.

Ntombi:“
I'
m sor
ry.I'
mj ustaf
rai
dthatal
lyour
eff
ort
sandmoneywoul dhavegonetowaste
shoul
dInotbepr egnant.
”

Liyema:“Iwil
ldealwi t
hitshouldithappenbutI
don'twanttofi
llmymi ndwithsuchrightnow.I '
m
happytoday.Thi shasbeenayearl ongpr ocessof
doubts,f
indi
ngt herightpeopletowor kwi th,f
indi
ng
asuitedeggdonorofwhatIwoul dwantmychi l
dto
possibl
elooklike,oftr
yingtofindasur rogate.Then
youappeared,per f
ectl
ysuited.I'
m grateful”

Idon'
tknowthetypeofladywhoi sdeservi
ngof
thi
sman.Heaskedi fIwantedspaceorifhecould
comeinandmakemesomef ood.Ididnotwantto
berudeornegat
ivetohim agai
ntodaysoIl ethi
m
dowhathewants.Hecamei nandmadeussome
l
unchandevenof feredtogivemeaf ootmassage
whichIr ejected.IsentBongacount lessmessages
becausehi sphonewasof fbutnor epl y.WellI
'm
sureWaynet oldhim abouttheirdoctorf r
iendand
nowhef ear sthatIwi l
lsi
ngt othepol i
ceand
i
mpl icatehim.Whi chiswhatIshoul dbedoi ngbut
I'
m notbecauseI 'm alsoafr
aidofgoi ngt ojail
.I
don'twantt obehat edbyLiyema.Idon' twanthi m
togiveuphopeofhavi ngachildsomeday.We
watchedsomemovi esandhej ustsatwi thmei n
sil
ence.Bongawoul dhavet hrownamugatmea
l
ongt i
meagobecausewhenIgotqui ethewoul d
thi
nkI '
mi gnor i
nghi m.Ican'twaitfort hedoctorto
confirmI '
m notpr egnant.Ibeli
evet hatI'm won'tbe.
Icanj ustfeelit.
[
03/
28,
11:
20]Lynne:TWENTY

NTOMBI

TocallwhatIam f
eeli
ngguil
tisanunder
stat
ement.
If
eelevil
,poorevi
lri
ghtdowntomybones.Liyema
doesnotdeser vethi s.Hehasbeenpr ayingt hata
babybegr owi nginsi demywombsi ncet heydi dthe
embr yot r
ansf er.Iont heot herhandhavebeen
askingf ort heopposi te.Thet hingsI '
m wi ll
ingt odo
outoff earofBongawi llmakemeendupi nj ailand
onceIdi eIwi l
lgot ohel l
.I'
m afraidthatImi ghtbe
pregnantandl oset hechi l
d.Itmi ghtnotbemi ne
l
egal l
ybutIwi llsti
llbecr ushedbyt hat .Icannot
evenbegi nt oimagi newhati twi l
ldot oLi yema.Two
weekshavegonebyandt hedoct orsetan
appointmentf orust ogoseehi mt ohavea
pregnancyt estdone.I thasl iter
allyallLiyemahas
beent alki
ngabout .Hi sexci t
ementdeepensmy
guil
ttoapoi ntwher eIcannotevensl eepatni ght.I
guessi t'
st ruet hatevi ldoesnotsl eep.Hi smot her
hasbeent r eatingmel ikeadaught ersof ar,even
tookmeoutonl uncht ogetsomef r
eshai r
.
Someoneknockedont hedoorandIsnappedoutof
mydeept hought sandwentt oopen.Mr sElephant
stoodi nfrontofmel ookingbeaut i
ful.Shegr eeted
mewi t
hahugandaki ssont hecheek.Idonot
deservet hiswomanandherson' skindness.Il et
herinandmader ooi bost eaforthebot hofus.We
sataroundthekit
chencount erandsaidnothi
ngto
eachother.Wenol ongerhaveawkwar dsil
ences
buttodaywasdi f
ferent
.Itwasasifshehada
secrett
otellbuti
sunsur eaboutwhethertosayi
tor
not.

MrsE:“Iwasi
ntheareaandt
houghtIshoul
dcome
seeyouguys”
,shesai
d.

Ntombi:“Thisi
syourson' shouse,Ma.Youneednot
expl
ainwhyyouar ehere.IsMaEuni cenoti
nthe
mainhouse?Wel lcomet ot hi
nkofitshesai
dshe
hascakest obake.I;
m sureshehasgonet obuy
i
ngredients”
MrsE:“
Euniceisbusyironi
ngbutshedi
dment
ion
t
hatshewi
llstepoutforanhourorso.
”

Ntombi
:“Yes,Iwi
llhel
pherbakef
orherchur
ch
f
undrai
ser.Maybeyoucanjoi
nus?”
MrsE:“HowdoyoufeelaboutLiyema,
Ntombi
?”,
herquest
ionl
eftmeconfused.

Ntombi:“
Inwhatway,
Ma?
”,Iaskedt
ogetmor
e
cl
ari
ty.

Mr
sE:“
Thet
ypeofmant
hathei
s”
Ntombi :“
Hei sanamazi ngguy.Abi
ttoointensebut
greattobear ound.IrememberwhenIfir
stmethi m,
Ithoughthewoul dbegr umpyandint
enseal lthe
ti
meandheki ndawasbutonceheiscomf ortable
with,hebecomesr elaxedandmakesalotofj okes”,
Isaidandl aughed.

MrsE:“Hewasneveronetolaughandsmil
eal ot
butwhenwit
hyouitseemstobesecondnature.
Lastweekhewaslaughi
ngsomucht hathet
itl
ed
hi
sheadbackwardswhil
ehismouthwaswi f
e
open.
”
Nt
ombi
:“Wegetal
ong,
Ma”
MrsE:“Hegotalongwit
hhiswi f
etoobefor
e
marryi
ngherbutIhaveneverseenhermakehi
m
l
aughsomuch” ,shesai
dandIf el
tsl
ight
ly
uncomfor
tabl
e.

Ntombi:“
Ma,
Idon'
tthi
nkhewi
lll
ikei
twhenwet
alk
about
..
.”
MrsE:“Ihateher!
.I'
m sorr
y,NtombibutIhat
eher
wi
thallIhaveinme.”,shesaidcut
tingmeshortand
st
oodup.Idi dnotknowwhatt osay.

Mr
sE:“
Uhm.
.”
,Iwasspeechl
ess.

Mr sE:“
Whatt hatwomandidt omyboyi s
unforgi
vable.Whatmakesitworsei
st hefactt
hata
partofmebl amesmyhusbandf orthi
s.Itol
dhim
thattol
etLiyemaandthat.
..t
hatwomangetmar r
ied
wasami st
akebuthedidnotlist
en.
”,shesaidwit
h
anger.
Ntombi:“
Wedon'
tal
wayshavecont
roloverwhat
happens,Ma”

MsE:“That'st
hethi
ng,wehadcontr
oli
nthat
i
nstance.Hi
sfat
heraddedpr
essur
eonhim andI
di
dnot hi
ng.
”

Nt
ombi
:“Li
yemawasanadul
t,Ma”

Mr sE:Youwi l
lbesurpri
sedhowmuchcont r
ola
per soncanhaveovert hechoicesyoumakej ust
becauset heyhol dtheupperhand.Liyema'sfather
threatenedt ocutmychildoffandforachi l
dlike
Liyemawhogr ewupbeingspoonf editwasahar d
pilltoswallow.Getmar r
iedandbef i
nancial
lyf r
ee
ordon' tgetmar r
iedandgoliveinthestreet
.

I
fonl
ysheknewthatIknowper
sonall
ywhatiti
s
l
iket
ohavesomeonehaveaholdoveryouand
cont
rolyouandmakesyoudot hi
ngsyoudon' t
wantto.Iguesst hi
swomandi dmoredamagef or
MrsEl ephantt
ohat eher.Shemeanti t,Icouldseeit
i
nhereyesandIwonderwhatt hiswomanhasdone
tomakesuchal ovelywomanhar borhate.I
remainedquietbecauseIf eltl
ikesheneededt o
vent
.Shewasnotj ustinthear eaanddeci dedto
popin.shecamef r
om herhousest r
aighthereto
getwhati sonherchestof f.Isatandlist
ened.

MrsE:“Ican'tt
alkdetai
lsaboutwhathappened
wit
hZingisa.AllIcansayisthatgi
rlbr
okemyson”
,
shesai
dandcr ied.

Nt
ombi
:“I
'
m sor
ry,
Ma”
,Isai
dinawhi
sper
.

Mr sE:“Iti
sfine.Thisbabymightsealt
hecracksin
hisheart.Especial
lyaft
erLul
onkedied”,
shesaidin
awhi sper,al
mostasi fshedi
dnotwantmet ohear
thatpartbutIdid.
Nt
ombi
:“Lul
onke?
”,Iaskedandshel
ookedatme.

MrsE:“Ihavetogo.Thankyouforl
ist
eni
ng”
,she
saidqui
cklybef
oreshestoodandmadeherwayto
thedoor.

Ifoll
owedherburshewasoutbef oreIcoul dr each
her.Whoi sLul onke?Coul dshehavesomet hi
ngt o
dowi thLiyema' smom hat inghisexwi f
e?Mymi nd
wasonceagai nfil
ledwithquestionsabout
businesst hathadabsol utelynothi
ngt odowi t
hme.
HadInotknownbet t
erIwoul dhavet houghtMr s
Elephantwast ryi
ngt ohookmeupwi thLi yemawi t
h
thewhol e“ Whatdoyout hinkaboutLi yema? ”
questionbutl uckil
yIknowbet t
er.Iwasaboutt o
closemydoorwhenMr sEl ephantappear edagai n.
Shebeggedmenott otellLiyemat hatshe
ment i
onedLul onkeorspokeaboutZi ngisa.Ij ust
nodded.Shet hankedandhuggedmebef ore
disappearingf rom mysightonceagai n.Coul d
LulonkehavebeenZi ngisaandLiyema'schildthat
hasdiesandZi ngi
saisr esponsi
blef
orit.Couldthis
babybear eplacementchi l
dforachil
dLi yema
mighthavelost?Myheadwasbuzzi ngwi th
questionsandIdecidedt omindmyownbusi ness.
I'
m notheretoknowaboutt hedeeppersonalissues
ofLiyemaandhi sfamily.

LI
YEMA

TwoweekhavegonebyandIhavebeenwai ti
ngt o
fi
ndouti ftheIVFwasasuccessornot .Apar tof
met hinksthatiti
s.Ntombil ooksdi f
ferent,
shei s
glowi ngorper hapsitisallj
ustmyi magination
maki ngmeseewhatIwant .Ihavenotbeenabl eto
focusatwor k.Icanseemysel fplayingwithmyboy
already.Ihopet hatIwi l
lbeaf atherthathe
deser ves.IknowIwi llhavetoexpl ainalottohi m
oncehei soldenought ounderstandt hethingst hat
goesonar oundhi m.Hewi l
lhavequest ionsabout
whohi smot herisandwhyshei snotapar tofour
l
ivesandIwi llbehonestwithhi
m aboutever
ythi
ng.
Ireadast or
yaboutamanwhohasdonewhatIam
doingbeforeandhei srai
singahappyli
ttl
egir
l.I
t
willnotal
waysbesunshi neandrosesbutitwil
lbe
wor t
hit.

Vusisatacrossmet al
kingnonst
opaboutIdon'
t
knowwhat .Icoul
dseehi sbi
gmouthmovingbutI
wasinmyownwor l
d.

Vusi
:“Li
yema!
”,hesai
dwhi
lebangi
ngt
het
abl
e.

Li
yema:“
Soundsgoodman” ,
Isaidandher
aised
hi
shandsint
heairandshookhishead.

Vusi:“Howcouldl
osi
nganaccountbegoodnews,
bra?Itwasnotacashcowbutthi
scli
entwasone
ofourveryf
irst
”
Li
yema:“Wehavel ostaf ewdealovert
hetwoyears
wehavebeeni nbusinessandthathasjustmade
ushustl
eharder.Thisisnodiff
erent
.Youarejust
sadbecauseyouwon' tdealwit
hMrXakwa' s
daught
erallt
het i
mesi nceherfat
hermadeherdeal
wit
hhiscompany' sadverti
ng.

Vusi
:“Doyoubl
ameme,
bra?Haveyouseent
hat
gi
rl
?”

Li
yema:“Notreall
ymyt ypebutsheisapr
ettyl
ady.
Youstopbei
ngacowar dandgoaskherout.The
endofourbusinessrel
ati
onshipwit
hherdoesnot
meanyoucan'tpursuear omanti
conewit
hher.”

Vusi
:“What
ever
!Anywaywhati
syourt
ype?
”
Li
yema:“
Uhm.
..
youknow”
Vusi
:“Uhm.
..
youknowwhat
?Idon'
tknowj
ack.
”
Li
yema:“
Ihavet
ogohome.Idon'
tfeelwel
l
”
Vusi:“
Youdon'tgetsi
ck.I
'
mt heonewhoi s
supposetocomeupwi thl
iestost
ayawayf rom
work,notyou”
,heaidandwebothlaughed.

Li
yema:“Onedaywewon' thavet ocomeinwhen
wedon'tf
eell
ikei
tbecausewewoul dhaveenough
busi
nessandabiggerandwi l
ljustdel
egate
amongstourt
eam.

Vusi
:“ThenIcanf
inal
lyi
mpr
essMi
ssXakwaby
spoi
li
ngher”
Liyema:“Sheisusedtomoney.Thi
nkofot
herways
to“spoi
l”her.I
;m out
!”

Vusi:Li
yemabr a,Iknowyou' r
eexci tedaboutthis
andcanal readyseeyour selfteachingyourboyt o
playballandI'm excit
edtoobutpl easemaker oom
forsomebadnews.Youdon’ tknowi ft
hisgir
lis
pregnantornot .Shemi ghtnotbeandIwantyout o
bement all
yandemot ional
lypr eparedforthattoo.
”,
hesai
dwi
thconcer
n.

Li
yema:“
Thanks,
man.SocanIgo?
”

Vusi:“
Youar eheremostti
messojustgetthehel
l
outofhere.Youdidnothavetol
ieandsayyouar e
feel
ingsi
ck.I'
llt
rynottobur
ntheplacedown”,he
j
okedandwel aughed.

Idon'tknowwhyIwantt ogohomeear li
ertoday.
Maybei ti
sbecauset heof f
iceisnotbusyor
becauseI'm notpr esenttherement al
ly.Ourmedi a
agencyisnott hatbigyet ,i
tisonlyt woyear sold
butbusinessi sgood.Idr ovepastaphar macyand
decidedtogopur chasemysel fsomemul t
ivit
amins.
Ihavebeenf eel i
ngtiredlat
ely.IthinkIwor ktoo
muchandIneedt oslowdownnowbecausesoon
myt imewon' tbelongt omysel f
.Iwenti nandt ook
whatIwant edandwal kedpassthehome
pregnancytest s.Therewasavar ietyoft hem.Itook
oneandr eadwhatwaswr i
tt
enont hebox.Iwant ed
totakeI tandhaveNt ombit aket het estbutdeci ded
againsti tbecauseIdi dnotwantt or ushher .Iput
theboxbackdownandwentt ot het il
ls.Ist oodi n
theshor tlinewai ti
ngf ormyt urnt opay.Somet hing
j
ustmademet urnbackandgot akeapr egnancy
test.Ipai df oreveryt hingandwenthome.If ound
theladi esbusywi t
hsomebaki ngandMaEuni ce
gavemeat askthesecondshesawmewal ki n.I
askedt or estabi tfirstandsheunder stood.Nt ombi
seemeddi fferenttoday, notinabadwaybuther
eyeswer ef i
ll
edwi thpi tywhenshel ookedatme.
MaEuni cet oldmemymot herwasher eandwent
straightt oNt ombiandIwonder edi fshehas
anythingt odowi thwhyNt ombii sl ooki ngatmeas
i
fI '
m ast raydogseeki ngpi t
y.Iexcusedmysel f
becauseIdi dnotf eel i
twast her ightmomentt o
askhert ot aket het est.Idon'tknowwhati swr ong
withherbecauseshesai dshei sf ineandt hatmy
mot herdi dnotsayanyt hingtoof f
endherbutshei s
nother sel f.Couldi tbepr egnancyhor mones?I
don'tlikeseei ngherdown.Ihat etoadmi tbutshe
hassomehowj ustf oundawayi nt omyhear t.I
don'tknowi fIhavef eeli
ngsf orher .Ican' thave
feel
ingsf orherbutal lIknowi sshemakest he
housef eelabi tlessempt y.Ican'tgetat t
ached
thoughbecausei twillbeadanger ousat t
achment .I
don'tknowwhati shappeni ngbet weenus.It hink
webot hwoul dlovet obef riendswi theachot her
andhadci rcumst ancesbeendi f
ferent ,wecoul d
havebeenbutj ustnotnow, notwi thever ything
goingon.Howwi l
lIexpl ai
nt omyboysomedayt hat
Daddy'sgoodf ri
end“ aunt”Nt ombii shi sbiological
mot her
.Itisbestt hatwekeepourr el ati
onshipasi t
i
s.Iwentt orestandwokeupf eel
ingabi trested.I
wasshockedt oseet hesunwasal readygoi ng
down.Imademywayt otheki t
chent odrinksome
waterandst oodt hinkingaboutwhet herImustask
Ntombit ot akethet estornot .Shewal kedinj ustas
Iwast hinkingaboutherhol dingapl ate.

Ntomi :“
Icookedandmadeabitext
rabecauseI
fi
guredt hatyouwoul
dnotbei
nthemoodf or
cooking.”,shesai
dwi
thasmil
e.
Liyema:“
Thankyou.Iwashopi
ngt
ogetsomecake
too”,
shelaughed.

Ntombi:“MaEunicepromi
sedtobakeusonebut
saidt
hosear ef
orherchurchbutIwasablet
omake
twocupcakesfrom t
helef
toverbatt
er”
,shesai
d
andIlaughed.

Liyema:“Soyouwer egi
venthebowltol
ickbut
i
nst eaddecidedtomakecupcakesf
rom i
t?Wow,
thatisafir
st”,webot
hlaughed.

Nt
ombi:“HeyIatl
eastt
houghtofyousobe
gr
atef
ul.
”

Liyema:“
Thankyouforthat.I'
m sur
etheytaste
yummyandt hankyouforthef oodaswell
”,Isai
d
andshenodded.Welookedateachot herforalong
whi l
ebef
oreIcl
ear
edmyt hroat.
Nt
ombi
:“Ar
eyouf
eel
ingwel
lrest
ednow?
”

Li
yema:“Muchbettert
hanear
li
er.Howwasyour
day?Youseem of
f.
”

Ntombi:“I'
vegottoomuchonmymi nd.Ial
sosaw
thepregnancytestonyourbedwhenMaEuni ce
askedmet ogocheckuponyou.Woul dyouli
keme
totakeit
?”,sheasked.If
eltl
ikeki
ckingmyselffor
l
eavingitonmybedl i
kethatbutNtombihardl
y
goesupt hestai
rs.

Liyema:“No,l
etuswai
tforourappoi
ntment
tomorrow.”
Ntombi:“
I'
m curi
oustoknowwhatther
esultsar
e,
Liyemaandyoubuyingthet
estt
ell
smet hatyoudo
toosolet
sdot hi
s”

Iwasnotabouttoactasifwhatshesai
disnot
musi
ctomyear s.I
'm gl
adthatsheisasimpat
ient
asmei nthismat ter.Iwentupst airstomybedr oom
totaket het est.I
'm bur sti
ngwi t
hexci tement .It old
herwhatt hei nst
ruct i
onssai dmustbedoneand
shedi sappear edint othebat hroom.Sheappear ed
afterawhi l
e,putt hetestont hetabl eandi sl ooki ng
nervousashel l
.Idon' tknowwhybutIt ookbot hher
handsandki ssedt hem.Theywer esof tandsmel led
soapy.Shei sasshockedasIam aboutmysudden
affect i
on, yetneitherofusl etgo, insteadhergr ip
aroundmyhandst i
ght ened.Ilookedatourhands
andt heyseemedt obeaper fectmat ch.Icannot
expl ainthecl osenessIf elttojustbyhol di
ngher
hands.Thebeepi ngofmyphonei nterr uptedt he
moment ,talkaboutper fectti
mi ng.Iputast opped
totheannoyi ngbeepsoundf rom myphonewhi le
shet ookthest i
ck.Nt ombicamet ost andi nf rontof
me.Ihel dherwr istswhi leshehel dthewhi t
eand
pur plest i
ck.Webot hlookedatt hel i
ttlewi ndow
areaandi thadonecl earbl uest ri
pe.Icheckt hebox
agai nandonest ripemeantt hati twasnegat ive.I
fel
tapai ndeepi nmygutt hatIcoul dnotexpl ai n.It
fel
tast houghmyent irewor l
dhascol lapse.Ihave
putsomuchhopeandpr ayedsomuchaboutt his
thatIthoughtthati twouldbear eali
ty.Ntombikept
onapol ogi
zingendl essly.I
'm notangryathernor
doIbl ameher.I twasj ustnotmeantt ohappen.I
don'tknowifIwi l
leverbeablet odot hi
sagain.I
shouldacceptt hatI '
m notmeantt ohaveachi l
d.

Mtombi
:“Youcant
ryagai
nwi
thadi
ff
erentwoman,
Li
yema”

Li
yema:“
Nothi
swasitf
orme.Maybemyf at
her
wasri
ght
.Thi
sisnowaytoconcei
veachi
ld.
”

Nt
ombi
:“I
'
m sor
ry”
,shesai
dsof
tl
y.

Li
yema:“
Canwer emai
nfri
ends?IadmitthatIhave
cometoenj
oyyourcompany.Idon'
tkn.
..

Ntombi
:“NO!
'
,shesai
dbef
oreIcoul
dfi
nishmy
sent
ence.
Myphoner angandi twasapr ivatenumber .Ther e
i
snot hingIhat emor et hanbei ngcalledwi tha
pri
vatenumberbutasabusi nessmanIneedt otake
mostcal lsbecausei tmi ghtbenewbusi ness.A
manwhopr eferredt or emai nanonymousspoke.I
wasaboutt ohangupbutdi dnotaf t
erhesai ditis
aboutNt ombi kayisePot i.Ilookedt owher eNt ombi
i
sst anding.Shei shol dingt hepr egnancyt est
l
ookingbi tconf used.Iguessshedoesnot
understandhowi tcanbeanegat i
veaf t
eral lt
he
moneyspendandef fortgi venbyal linvolvedbutI
didnotcar ecar et hemoney.Iwentt ot heot her
room tolist
encar efullyt othisman.Het oldmet hat
Ntombicannotbet rust edandt hatIshoul dcal lher
andputhi m onspeaker .Whoi st hismanor der i
ng
mear ound?Toni ghtwasnott her i
ghtt i
mebuthe
i
nsisted,almostbegged.Iwentbackt othel ounge
wher eNtombist oodst i
lllookingatt het est.Icalled
herandshel ookedatme.Shewasaboutt oopen
hermout ht osaysomet hingwhent hemanont he
othersideoft hel i
nest oppedher .Hermout h
remai nedopenandi tseemedast houghshehas
seenaghost .Themanst ar t
edtot ellhowNt ombi
almosthadhi m kil
ledwi t
hherl i
es.Hespi l
ledmor e
beansandt oldmehowIgotconnedbyt hewoman
i
nf r
ontofme.Iswi t
chedt hephoneof fandl ooked
atNt ombiwhoi sbyt hi
sst agesoppi ng.Iaskedher
whatt hemanmeantandsheconf essedt o
ever ything.Icannotbel ievet hatIwasmadet ol ook
l
ikeaf oolf orthesepeopl e.Nt ombil iedabout
ever ything.ThewomanIhadj ustaskedt obemy
fri
endi sf ake.If eltli
keIwasbackt ot hedar kpl ace
Zingi sapl acedmei nyear sago, butt histimei tf elt
wor se.Nt ombit ri
edt oexpl ainandIshoul dhave
beenangr y.Ishoul dbecal li
ngthecopsonhercon
assandbet hrowingst uffar oundwhi l
eshout i
ng
buti nst eadIsanki ntot hecouchsi l
ent l
yandsl owly.
Ilookedatt hebeaut ifulwomanwhomanagedt o
putasmi l
eonmyf aceaf teryear sofmoppi ng
around.Ir ealizedt hatI'm nott hrowi ngt hings
aroundi nangerbecauseI '
m hur tbecauseIhave
alreadygot tenat t
achedt oher .Shest oodi nf r
ontof
mel ooki ngl ikelif
ehasbeensuckedoutofher .How
cansuchabeaut i
fulbei ngbesoevi l
?Iwasatal ost
forwords.Thet
woofuslookedateachotherand
myvisionbecamebl
urr
y.Istoodandwalkedtothe
door.

Li
yema:“
Byt het
imeIgetback,
Iwantyougone”
,I
fi
nal
lymanagedtosay.

Ntombi:“Cal
lthepoli
ce,Li
yema.Iwi
llconf
essto
them t
oo.I'
mr eal
lysorr
y.Ishoul
dneverhave
agreedtoit
.Callt
hepo...
”

Li
yema:“
Begonebyt
het
imeIr
etur
n.”

Iwalkedoutt
hefrontdoorandbangedi thard.I
shouldbecal
li
ngthecops, mymi ndknowsitbuta
partofmedeepdownj ustdoesnotwantt ogether
i
ntot r
oubl
e.Whythehellam Isuchadamnsof t
yof
aman?Whataboutmemakest hesewomenwant
tosteponmyhear tasi
fitdoesnotfeel?Iwasnot
thi
nkingcl
ear
lyandapar tofmewaswor ri
edabout
wher eNt ombiwoul dgobecausei nherbr ief
confessionshesai dsomet hingabouthavi ngno
one.WhydoIcar e?Whyi si tthatwhenpeopl ehur t
meIst il
lcar e?I fIdi dnotknowbet terIwoul dhave
thoughthert earswer er ealbutIknowt heyar en't.I
wasl ookingf orwardt omeet inghersont ooandt o
hearthatpar tisalsonott ruej usthurtmor e.Ican' t
beli
evet hatIl eftever ythingt oWayne, iti
sunl ike
met ojustt rustl i
ket hatbutheseemedl i
keagood
man.Amanwi thpr inciplesbutt henagai nsodi d
Ntombi .Iti
samazi ngwhatpeopl ewoul ddof ora
quickbuck, eveni fitmeansst eali
ngf rom aper son
whowor kedhar dt oear nt hei rmoney.Icanal ready
hearmyf atherl aughi ngatme.Idi dnotl istenmuch
toNtombi '
sexcusest odoi ngt his.AllIknowi st hat
Iwasmadeaf oolbyawomanIcar edaboutonce
again.IthoughtIhadcl osedal lr
oadsl eadi ngtomy
heartbutshecar vedherwayt oitanyway.It hinkI
wasi nlovewi t
hher .No, thecor r
ecttermi sIam i n
l
ovewi thher .Whycan' tIhat eher?Wi thZi ngisaI
wasdi sgust edwhenshedi dwhatshedi dt ome.I
hatedherf oryear saf terthatandIknewherl onger
thanIknewNt ombi .Igoti ntomycarandspedof f.
I'
m surethehatewi l
lcomesoon, i
thast o.No
womanwi l
levertakemef orafoolagain.Theykeep
ongoi ngonaboutt her
ear en'
tanygoodmeni nthe
world.Havetheyevert houghtthattheythewomen
aretoblamef orthat?Goodmenexi stwear ejust
toobrokenandaf raidt
ol ovewholehear t
edlyagain.
Nowomanwi l
leverknowwhatmyl oveislike.I
knowIsai dthesamet hingafterZingisabutmy
heartbetr
ayedme.Iwi l
lneverbecont rol
ledby
emot i
onsagain.
[
03/
28,
16:
58]Lynne:TWENTYONE

NTOMBI

Thel ookofpurepaininLiyema'seyeswi l
lbe
somet hi
ngIwi l
lnevergetoutofmymi nd.Ihave
hurtamanwhowaswi l
li
ngtokeepmei nhisli
feas
af r
iendbecausehet houghtI'
mi mportantenough
forhimt odoso.Ishouldhavebeensi tti
nginacold
cellri
ghtnowwai t
ingtobet r
ail
edf orwhatIdidbut
Liyemaj ustl
etmego.It houghtthathewoul dbeat
thehel loutofmewhenhehear dBongat ellhi m
everythingovert hephone.Igavehi m enough
reasont odoso.Bongahi tmef ornott alkingt ohim
afterhei nsultedmeyether ei samanwhohas
wast edhi sti
meandmoneybecauseofmeyethe
didnotevenpushme.Iwoul dhavel ovedt obehi s
fri
endbutIhaver uinedal lchancesoft hat
happeni ng.I'm suehehat esmewi thpassi on, Ihate
mewi thpassi on.Ideser vet obepuni shedf orwhatI
didandI '
m sur ekar mawi llensur ethathappens.I '
m
gladt hatthet estwasnegat ivebecausei twaswhat
Iwashopi ngf or.Hadi tnotbeenf orBonga, Li yema
andIwoul dhavegoneourdi ff
erentwayswi t hout
anyoneget ti
nghur t.Hewasdi sappoi ntedwhenhe
sawt heonest r
ipi nsteadoft wobutapar tofhi m
musthaveknownt hatthet estmi ghtcomeout
negat i
ve.I'm surehet hankst heheavenf ori tbeing
negat i
ve.Thet ensi onbet weenuswoul dhavemade
i
tdi f
ficultformet ocar ryonbei nghi ssur rogat e
mot herandi fheknewt hatt hebabywoul dnothave
madei tanywayhewoul dnothavei nvest edmuch
i
nt heent irething.OnedayIwi l
lgetaj obandst ar
t
savingsot hatIcanpayhi m backal lthemoneyhe
compensat
edmewi
th.I
twi
llt
akeyear
sbutIwi
lldo
so.

Iwentt othecot t
ageassoonasLi yemast epped
outoft hedoor .IfIwai teduntilhewasbackt o
explainmyr easonsf ordoingwhatIdi dhewoul d
surelyhaveki ll
edmeormadesur eIrotinpr ison.I
packedt hecl othest hatIcamewi t
handl eftal lelse
thatMr sEl ephantboughtf orme.Shehadal ready
boughtmesomepr ettymat ernityweart hatIcoul d
havewor nevenaf t
ergi vingbirth.I'
m gladIkept
someoft hemoneyIgoteveni fmostwenti nto
Bonga' spocket .Thismoneywi llbeenoughf ora
bust ickett owher ever ,somef oodwhi l
eont her oad
andper hapsevenf oracheapover ni
ghtst ayata
backpacker s.Idon'tevenknowwher eI'
m goi ngbut
allIwanti st obef arawayf r
om CapeTown.Thi si s
abeaut i
fulci t
ybutf ormei tcomeswi th
traumat izingmemor ies.IdoubtIwi l
leversetf oot
hereagai n.Iwasonat axigoingt othebusst ation
tobookat icket .WhenIwentoutwi t
hMr sEl ephant
shet ookmet oaf ewpl acesandIr ememberseei ng
alongdi st
ancebusst ation.Thet axidriverof fered
todr opmeof fri
ghtatt hest at
ionsinceIwashi s
l
astpassengerf ortheday.Weshar ethesamecl an
namesohekeptonsayi ngIshoul dcallhi m
Mal umeandIdi dnotmi nd.Iknowhowi mpor t
ant
clannamer elati
vesar et ot heXhosapeopl e.He
droppedmeof fsafely,saidImustgr eett heot her
Tshawe' sathomeandgavememoneyt obuyf ood
ont her oad.Ididnotf eel wor t
hyatal l
.Ithanked
him andmademywayi nside.Thel i
ttl
ewi ndows
wher eIwant edt oaski nfor mationfrom wher eal l
closed.Iaskedt hesecur itywhatwasgoi ngonand
het oldmet hatthest affhadgonehome, t hatonl y
himsel fandthepeopl ewai tingfortheirbusest o
arri
vear eleft.Hetoldmet hatIwi l
lonlybeabl et o
makeabooki ngtomor row.Myhear tsank.It hanked
him andwentt ositnextt oanel derl
ywoman.The
phoneIhadr angandBonga' snameappear edon
thescr een.Can'tthismanl etmego?Hashenot
doneenoughdamageal ready?Ianswer edanyway
forreasonsunknownt omysel f
.
Nt
ombi
:“What
?”

Bonga:“Aren'
tyouinj ai
l?Ithoughtt
hefoolwould
getyouar r
estedordidyouhur tthemanandf l
ed?If
youfled,mayyouenj oylif
eont hest
reet
sbecause
youar enothi
ngwithoutme. ”,
hesaidandlaughed.

Ntombi
:“Li
fewil
ldealwi
thyouit
self
,Bonga.I
wouldr
athersl
eepunderabri
dgethencomeback
t
oyou.”

Bonga:“ Youwi l
lbeback,Iknow.I '
m sureyouar e
wonder i
ngwhyIchangedmypl ans.Iwassitti
ng
andjustwonder ingaboutwhet herI'
m punishing
youenoughf orwhatyoudidt omeandIr eali
zed
thatIwasnot .Iwasstil
lsit
tinginashackf i
ll
edwith
holeswai t
ingforyoutogivemet helit
tl
emoneyyou
gavemewhi leyouwereint hesubur bs.Youwer ein
paradisewhileIwasstil
linhell.Therewer eti
mesI
wouldwai toutsidewhenyousai dyouhadan
appointmentandIwoul dwat chyouwi t
hthatf ool
.
Hehasat hingforyou.Itwasonl yamat t
eroft ime
beforeyout al
kedandmadeyour sel
favictim soI
thoughtletmet al
kf oryouandmakehi m seej ust
whatawi t
chyour eallyare.Icoul
dnotstayi nhell
whileyouwer einpar adise.Ihopeyouwillenjoy
yourli
feunderabr i
dge.Ihopei trai
nsnonst opf or
anent i
remont handhaveyougetsosi ckt hatyou
dieandgot ohel l
.”
Ntombi :“Atl
eastIknowt
hatyouwillf
oll
owmet o
hellsoonenough”,mywordslef
ttheladynextt
o
mel ookingshocked.

Bonga:“GoodthenIwi l
lmakeyourl i
fehelli
nhell
too.Iwi
llmakeyousuf fereveryt
imelif
emakesme
runint
oyou, Ntombi.Thenightmareyouwi l
lnever
wakeupf rom.”
, hesai
dandl aughedagainbefore
endingthecall
.

Elder
lyl
ady:Whyareyoucryi
ng?”,
saidavoi
cenext
tome.Ihadnotreal
izedt
hatI
'm cr
ying.
Ntombi
:“I
tisnot
hing,
Ma”
,Il
i
edandevenf
akeda
smil
e.

Elder
ly:I
'
m MaMbel
e.Whati
syourname?
”,she
askedwithawar
m smil
e.

Nt
ombi
:“Nt
ombi
kayi
se,
Ma.
”
MaMbele:“Imightnotknowwhatyouar egoing
thr
ough,YisebutwhatIdoknowi sthatdar
kness
doesnotremainforever”
,herwordsmademecr y
evenmoref orvar
iousreasonsbutmostl
ybecause
noonehasevercal l
edmeYi se,onl
ymymot herdi
d.

Ntombi:“Mydar knessisforever
,Makhulu.Icannot
remembert helastti
meIf el
tal i
ghtshi
neonmyl if
e.
ButIdon'tblameanyone.I '
m herebecauseofthe
choicesImade.I '
m cryi
ngbecauseIhavenoonet o
blamebutmysel f”

MaMbel
e:“
Toseeabeaut
if
ulyoungl
adywhohas
herentir
elif
eaheadofhert alkli
kethatbreaksmy
heart.Youmusthaveknownpai nfrom ayoungage
whileotherchi
ldrenwer eplayingwithoutanycare
i
nt hewor l
dandf orthatI'
m sor r
y”,
shesai dsof
tl
y.
Noonehasapol ogizedtomef ormychi l
dhood
tr
aumas.

Nt
ombi
:“Thankyou,
Makhul
u.”
MaMbel e:“Ialsodon'tknowwhoyouwer etalking
tooverthephonebuti fsomeonebr ingsoutmor e
badf r
om yout hangoodt henyouneedt oletthem
go.Thel adythatwasspeaki ngont hephoneand
theladywhoi sspeaki ngtomeknowar et
wo
dif
ferentpeople.Thatpersonclearlybr i
ngsoutt he
badinyoubecauseyousoundedcol dandr udebut
nowyouar ewar m andsoft.Icanf eeltatyouar ea
goodper sonandal lthegoodnessofl if
eisgoi ngto
comet oyoubutyouneedt ocuttieswi thwhati s
notservingyou.”,shesaidwhi l
elooki ngatme.

Nt
ombi
:“Youar
eri
ght
,Ma”
MaMbel
e:“
Wherear
eyougoi
ng?Maybewewi
llbe
ont
hesamebus.
”
Nt
ombi
:“Idon'
tknow.It
hinkI
..
.”

Herphoner angbef or eIcouldf i

nished.Sheasked
toquicklyansweri tandIj ustsmi l
edandnodded.
Thewayshespokel oudlyont hephonemademe
l
aughabi tbecauseal mostever yoneisnowl ooki ng
ather.Shedi dnothaveacar einthewor ld.The
personont heot hersideoft hephonedoesnot
seem tohavegoodnewbecauseshewentf rom
l
ookingexci tedaboutr eceivi
ngt hecallt
ohavi nga
fr
ownonherf ace.Shespokesomemor eand
smiledagain.Icoul dnothel pbutsmi letoot houghI
don'tknowwhatmadehersohappy.MaMbel e
endedt hecal landt urnedtol ookatmest il
lsmi l
ing.

MaMbele:“
I'
m sorr
y,chi
ld.Thatwasmygr andson.I
want
edtosurpri
sehim withavisi
tbuti
tturnsout
t
hathehascomet oCapeTownt osur
pri
semewi t
h
one”
,shesai
dandl
aughedsof
tl
y.

Ntombi:“
Thenyoubet
tergohome, Makhul
u.I
'
m
sureheisst
andi
ngatthedooral
ready”

MaMbel
e:Hisbuswil
larr
ivehereinafewminut
es.
Wewil
lbegoinghometogether
”,shesmil
ed.

Ntombi
:“Whatagreatcoinci
dence.Whatar
ethe
oddsoft
hathappening?
”

MaMbel e:“Idon'
tbel i
evei
ncoi nci
dences.Ibel i
eve
thatt
hingshappenbecauset heywer emeantt o.
Thereisar easonwhyhewant edt osurpriseme
andar easonwhyhi sbusdepar t
edear l
ierthan
mine.Hehasbeenl ookingforwor kforsuchal ong
ti
menow.Ihaveaf eeli
ngthisvisi
twi l
lturnint
oa
permanentst ay.
”,shesaidwithasmi l
e.
Ntombi:“
IhopeCapeTownwil
ltr
eathim wi
th
ki
ndnessbutwit
hyoubyhissi
deeveryt
hingwil
lbe
well
”

MaMbel e:“Godwi l
lleadus.Sowher eareyougoi
ng.
Itseemst hepossibi
lit
yofusbei nginthesamebus
andget t
ingtoknoweachot herhasnowgonebutI
willgi
veyoumynumbersot hatwhenyouareback
youcanal lme”,shesaidwhi letaki
ngoutapenand
wrotehernumberi nmyhand.

Ntombi:“
I'
m notsurewhereI'
m goi
ng,Makhulu.
Ever
yfamilymemberwant smet ogotothei
rhouse
andtheyli
veindif
ferentt
ownssoI'l
ldeci
de
tomorr
owwhenIbookmybus” ,Ili
edwithasmile.

MaMbel e:“
Doessomeofthatf
amilyper
hapsli
vein
Peddie?Ihaveati
cketf
orabusthatwil
lar
ri
vein
thi
rt
ymi nut
es”
Ntombi:“Ido,Mabutwear enotr
eal
lyongood
terms”,
IliedagainbuthowdoIsaymy
grandparentsdon'tevenknowme?

MaMbel e:“
LikeIhavesai dthingshappenfora
reason.Iwassupposet ogot oPeddi etomy
grandchildbutinst
eadhecamet ome.Somet hing
madeyouchooset ositnexttomeandIhavea
ti
cketforat r
ipgoingtoPeddi ewher eyourf
ami ly
youarenotongoodt ermswi thlive.Ithi
nkt
his
meanst hatyoumustgetont hatbusandgof ix
thi
ngs.Howar etheyrelat
edt oyou? ”

Nt
ombi
:“Theyar
emygr
andpar
ent
s,Makhul
u”

MaMbel e:“
Mybabe, t
hatmeanst heyar eol
dby
nowandmostpr obablyhaveforgivenwhateveritis
youdidthathurtthem oriti
stimet hatyoufor
give
them i
ftheyweret heoneswhowr ongedyou.Lifeis
shortandevenmor esoforoldpeoplelikemyself.
Mygr andchi
ldr
enar emyl if
eandnothavi ngthem in
myli
fewouldbreakme.I
'
m sur etheyar
einpai
n
andwantyoubackint
heirl
ives.”

Nt
ombi:“Youareri
ght
,Mabutwon'
tmeget
ti
ngon
wi
thyourti
cketbeani
ssues?
”

MaMbel e:“Idoubtit
.Justgivemynamewhenyou
getonsot hatthedrivercanscrat
chitofft
o
i
ndicatethat“I”haveboardedthebus”,shesai
dina
whisper.

Ntombi:“
Whati
fther
eisIDnumberdet
ail
sand
such.I
'
m sur
ethedri
verwil
lseei
tcan'
tbemyage”

MaMbel e:“Menknowbett
erthantoaskfora
woman' sageandift
heyaskjustsay“bl
ackdoes
notcrack””
,shesai
dandIlaughedatthe
confi
denceshesaiditwi
th.
“
Ntombi
:“Howmuchwi
llt
het
icketbe?
”

MaMbele:Nothingatall.Takei t,
getont hatbusand
cal
lyourgrandparentstot el
lthem thatyouare
cominghome.Thati sthankyouenought ome.
Somethi
ngt el
lsmeyouar ealonei nthiscit
yandI
wantyoutogoandr eceiveallthelovetheyare
goi
ngtogiveyou.Angerf adesaswegetol der.
Theyarenotangryanymor ebutI '
m suretheyare
wonderi
ngwher eyouar e”

I'
m notonetor eallybeli
eveinever ythi
nghappens
forareasonbutshemademebel ieveforawhi le.
Perhapseverythingisaligned.Shegavemeher
ti
cketsavi
ngmesomemoney.Onceagai nIdidnot
feelwort
hy.Ever ythi
nginmyshoul dhavebeen
goingwrongaf terwhatIdi dyether eIam meet ing
kindpeoplewhohel pme.Ideci dedt ototrustthe
woman.Apar tofmewasaf rai
dt hatthedr i
ver
wouldaccusemeofst eali
ngat icketandt henI
wouldgot oj
ai lforsure.Itookthet i
cketandl ooked
atthenamesoIcoul dsayi twhent hedr i
verasks
formyname.Nobandl aSal iwaswr i
ttenoni t.Idon't
knowwhybuti tfeltast houghmymot herwaswi t
h
me.Icoul dnotexpl aini tbutMaMbel e'snamebei ng
Nobandl aandhergi vingmeat i
ckettoPeddi emade
i
tfeell i
kemymot herwasi ncontrolandwant edme
totrustthesi gnsshei sgi vi
ngme.It hanked
MaMbel eandhuggedher .Shesai dhergr andson
sentamessagesayi nghi sbushasar rived.She
askedmet olookaf terherbagswhi l
eshegoest o
thebust owel comehi m.Isatandwai tedf orhert o
ret
ur n.Shecamebackwi thayoungt eenageboy,
whom Iguesst obe19year sorso.Shei ntr
oduced
thetwoofusandheseemsl i
keadecentyoung
man.Ihopet hathewi llnotgivehisgr anny
problems.Thet ownshi psofCapeTowncanbea
badpl acef orayoungboybecauset heyar eforced
i
ntot hesegangs.MaMbel ewi shedmet hebestof
l
uckwi thmyj ourneyandaskedt hatIopenmyhear t
andmi ndwhenI '
m wi thmygr andparent s.Thet wo
ofthem l eftmeandIf eltrathersad.Il ookedatt he
ti
cketandt hebusi ssupposet oar r
ivei nf i
ve
minut es.Ihavenoi deaofwher eI'
m goi ngorwhat
l
iesahead.Idi dnotevenaskMambel eifsheis
from Peddi e,maybesheknowsmygr andparents.I
l
ookedatmyhand, tookoutmyphoneandsaved
hernumber .Inowhavef ournumber sont hisphone,
Bonga' s,Liyema' s, Li
yema' smom' sandMaMbel e.I
savedchangedBonga' snamet oSat anunderhi s
number .Iwon' tdel eteitbecauseIwantt oignore
thecallshoul dhecal lbuti tseemshehasst opped
obsessi ngovermebecausehadhest il
lbeen,he
woul dhavewai tedout sideLi yema' shousef orme
tocomeoutaf terhespi l
ledal lt
her ott
enbeans.My
busar rivedandIt ookmymedi um sizedbagand
mademywayt oit.Ifirstaskedi fitistherightbus
andt hedr iversai dyes.Theyt ookmyl uggageand
putitint hebot tom par toft hebus.Thel asttimeI
wasonal ongdi stancet ripwaswhenBongat ook
mef rom homet oher e.I'
mf eeli
ngscar edand
nervous.Mygr andpar entsdon' tknowmenordo
theyknowaboutme.Ihopet heydonotquest ion
myr elationt othem butMr sBsai dIlookl i
kemy
mot hersosur elytheywi llseeI '
m oneoft hem.I
heardPeddi ei snotsuchabi gplace.Iwi l
lask
aroundf orSolomziandNol it
haMl andu'shome.I '
m
sureIwi l
lbeunsuccessf ul foraf ewdaysbutIdi d
nothavet ospendonmyt icketsoImi ghtbeabl eto
fi
ndaccommodat i
onf oraf ewdays.Mypl anwast o
gotoapl acet hathadbet terj oboppor tunit
ies
becauseIwant edt obei ndependentbutper hapsI
needt odot hisf ir
st.Thef actt hatI''
l
lbear r
ivi
ng
empt yhandedbr oughtmeshamebutIcannotdo
anythingaboutt hesi t
uat ion.Ihopet heydon' tsee
yetanot herbur denwhent heymeetme.Igotont he
busandf oundt hedr iversi ttingi nhisseatwi tha
cli
pboar dt hathadal i
stofnamesoni t.Heasked
whoIam andIconf ident l
ysai d“ Nobandl aSali”
.My
heartwasbeat ingatanal armi ngrate.Themandi d
notevenl ookatme.Hej ustmakeamar knextto
thenameNobandl aSal iandt oldmemyseat
number .Thebusi snotf ul l
.If oundmyseatand
sanki ntoit.Ithoughtt hatsomeonewi llcomesi t
nexttomebutt hebusdr oveof fwi
thoutt hat
happeni ng.IsentMaMbel eat extt
hanki ngher
againandaski ngi fsheper hapsknewt heMl andu
family.Sher epliedshor t
lyaf t
ersayingno, shedoes
not.Ifeltabi tdi sappoi nted.Iguessmyl uckhas
runout .Iwi l
lhavet oaskar oundwhenIgett here.
Atl eastMr sBt oldmet hear easheandmymom
grewupi nsot hati sast art.Eveni ftheymovedI 'm
sur ethenei ghbor smi ghtknowwher et o.Thebus
willbear r
ivingi nPeddi etomor r
owmor ning.Isat
andt houghtaboutLi yemaagai n.Noti ntheI 'min
l
oveandcan' tgethi m outofmymi ndwaybuti na
I'
m wor ri
edaboutt hedamaget hepai nIcausedhi m
mi ghtdo.Ihopeher ealizedt hatI'm notwor t
hhi m
ruininghi slifef or.Iknowt hathewi l
lneverf orgive
mebutIdopr ayt hathewi llcont i
nuet otryhavi ng
thechi ldhewant ssomuch.Ipr ayt hathef all
sin
l
ovewi t
hawomanwor thyoft hel ovehegi vesand
thatt heyhavel otsandl ot sofbabi est ogether.I'm
sur eGodwi l
lgr anthi m allthehappi nessi nthe
wor ldbecausehehasagoodhear t.Icouldnot
sleepwel l
.Iboughtsomef oodwhenwemadea
stopatt hegar agebutIdi dnotwantt owast e
moneysoIboughtj ustenought okeepmegoi ng.I
havebecomeaf anofLi yema' scleaneat ing.My
bodyf eelsgr eatandi timpr ovedmymoodandmy
ener gylevel si mpr oved.Iwoul dr ecommendcl ean
eatingt oever yonebutf ormet hatl ifeisover .Iput
myear phonei nmyear sandputt her adioon.If ell
asl
eepsomewher
ebetweent
het
hought
sthat
dominat
edmymind.

Anannoyi ngl i
ghtshoner ightinmyf acef or
cingme
toopenmyeyes, it
'sthesun.Icannotbel i
evethat
i
t'smor ningal ready.Ist r
etchedmyar msoutt rying
toseewher eIam.Idon' tknowwher eaboutitis
becauset hebuswaspassi ngt hemi ddleof
nowher e.Ibecamemor eandmor enervousast he
busdr ovecl osert omydest i
nat i
on.Ican’tbeli
eveI
sleptthr ought henightont hisuncomf ort
ablebus
seat.Af tersomet i
met hebusmadei t
swayi nto
Peddi e.Ihavehear doft hepl acebutneverbeen.
Thebusst oppedandi twast i
mef ormet ogetof f.I
suddenl ydi dnotwantt o.Igotof fandgotmy
l
uggage.Ihel dont omybagst i
ght l
ybecausemy
handbaghadal lt
hemoneyIhavei nitandmy
suitcaseal ltheclothesIown, Icannotaf fordto
l
oseei ther.Iaskedwher eIcoul dfindataxithat
goest oKwaNdl ambevi ll
ageandsomeguywas
helpfulandt ookmeexact lyt othespotwher eI
couldf indt her ighttr
anspor tfrom townt othe
vill
age.Bei ngher er emi ndedmesomuchofhome.
Thepl aceisdi ff
erentobvi ouslybutt her ei
ssome
fami l
iarit
ytoi t.Igotont othet axiandhadt owai t
untilitgotful l
.Itfinallyf il
ledupanddr oveof f
.I
don'thaveapl anandIhavenost r
engt htothinkof
one.Iwi l
lacceptmat ter sast heycomeandhope
forthebest .Iaskedt hepeopl enextt omei fthey
knewt heMl andu's.Theyknewaf ami lywiththe
surnamebutt henamesdi dnotmat cht hoseofmy
grandmot herandgr andf ather.Iaskedt hedriverto
dropmeof fwhensomel adysai dwehavear ri
vedat
KwaNdl ambe.Ist eppedoutoft hetaxiandst ood
therenotknowi ngwhatt odonext .Ther ewere
housessoIdeci dedt obegi nmydoort odoor
journeyasexhaust edasIam.Somepeopl ewer e
kindenought ot al
kt omeandwoul dl eadmet o
housest hatwer enott heoneI '
ml ooki ngfor.Some
woul dnotevenl etmei n.therewer eaf ewkind
peopl ewhogavemewat ertodr ink.Isatonabi g
rockont hesi deoft her oadaf teraboutanhourof
l
ooki ngf orther ighthouse.Per hapst heymovedt o
anot hervill
age.Ist oodandwal kedbyt hesidewal k
tryi
ngt ofi
ndat axibackt ot ownsoIcoul dfi
nda
placet osl eepf ortonight.If eltpat heticbecauseI
onlysear chedf oraboutanhourandgaveupbutI '
m
toot ir
edt odealwi t
ht his.If eltdef eated.Acar
appr oachedbutIdoubti tisat axi.Ikeptonwal ki
ng
whent hecarbutt hecarsl oweddownasi tcame
closerandcl osert ome.Myhear tstar t
edt obeat
fastbecausei tmi ghtbet hugswhomi ghttakemy
money.Iputonabr avef aceandcont inuedt owal k.
Ididnotevenl ookatt hedr iverwhi l
ethecarsl owly
drovepassme.“ Ntombi ? ”,saidaf emal evoice.I
quicklyt urnedmyheadt ot her ightt olookatt he
driver,it
'sMr sB.Ihaveneverbeensohappyt osee
anyonei nmyl i
febef ore.Shest oppedt hecarand
rant ohugme.Shet ookagoodl ookatmyf aceI
guesst ochecki fBongahasnothur tme.She
star t
edcr yingandmyt ear sf ollowedsoonaf ter.
Shehel dont owi thdearl ife.Sheaskedmesomany
quest ionsandIpl annedonanswer i
ngal lofthem i n
duet ime.It oldherwhyI '
mi nPeddi eandpr omi sed
tot el
lhert heent ir
est orywhenwehavet ime.She
quicklyt ookmysui t
caseandputi ti
nt hecar
becausepeopl ehadst artedt ocomeoutoft hei r
housest oseewhatwashappeni ng.Shet oldme
thatshecamet oseemypar ent st ogivet hem t he
newsaboutmymom' spassi nganddeci dedt o
remai ninherf ami l
yhomef orabi tlongert or ecover
from thest ressesoft heci ty.Mr sBaskedi fshe
shoul dtakemet omygr andpar entshouseort oher
father'shousej ustt orestandeatabi t.Iaskedher
totakemet omygr andpar ent sbecauseIhave
comet hisfarsoImi ghtaswel l j
ustgeti toverand
donewi th.Shet oldmet heywant edt ohavemy
mot her'sbodydugupandmovedt oPeddi e.Idon't
knowhowIf eelaboutt hatbecauseshewas
mar ri
edt omyf atherandmyf atherhadf ullrightto
bur yhiswi f
e.Mr sBsai dIwi l
lunder standmor e
whenmygr andpar ent sexpl ain.Itsoundsast hough
Iwi l
lbewel comedbydr amaandIdon' thavet he
strengtht odoso.Mr sBal soment ionedhowmuch
mygr andpar ent swantt omeetme.Wear ri
vedand
shet oldmet hatever ythingwi llbef ine.Iwant edto
believeherbutwedon' tknowt hatf orsur e.An
elderlymanwal kedoutoft hehouset owar dst he
gate.Mr sBsai di t'
smygr andf ather.Icoul dnot
helpbutsmi l
e.Mr sBaskedt hatIst epoutoft he
carandIdi d.Iwai tedforhert ocomest andbymy
si
de.Theoldmangr
eet
edherbuthi
seyesnever
l
eftmyface.

Grandpa:“
Nobandl
a?”
,hesai
dwhi
lest
andi
ngcl
oser
t
ogetagoodl ook.

MrsB:“Thi
sisNtombikayi
se,
Tat
a,Nobandla'
schil
d
It
oldyouabout
”,herwordmademygrandfathercr
y.

Grandpa:“HadInotknownbet terandIpassedyou
randomly,Iwoul
dhavet houghtyouwereNobandl a,
mychi l
d.Howar eyou?”
, heaskedandtookouta
whitecl
othfrom hi
sbackpockett owipethetear
s
offhisf
ace.

Ntombi :“
I'm wel
l
,Tamkhuluandyou?”,Isai
dwith
t
ear sroll
ingdownmycheeks.Hewi pedmyt ear
s
withthesamecl othheusedtowipehis.
Hedi dnotgetachancet ot ellmehowhei sdoi ng
becauseawomancamer unni ngf rom thehouse
towar dsus.Ir eal i
zedt hatMr sBhadwenti nsideto
gether .Shemustbemygr andmot herbecausemy
mot herresembl esheral ot.IwasI nhert i
ghtgr ip
beforeIcoul devensayanyt hingt oher.Shehel d
mewhi lecr yingandt hankingGodandt he
ancest ors.Mygr andf atheral sowr appedhi sar ms
aroundme.Iwassandwi chedbet weent hem and
fel
tover whel medbyt heloveandaf f
ectionthatIgot.
Not hingmat teredi nt hatmoment .Iknowt hatI
mightf acesomedr amawhi leher ebuti fthey
cont i
nuet oshowermewi thsuchl oveIwi l
lget
throughanyt hing.Thet hreeofusj ustst oodt hat
wayandcr ied.Thef actthatmygr andfathert hought
Iwashi sdaught erwar medmyhear t
.Ilovet hat
peopl ethinkIl ookl ikeherbecauseshewasa
beaut y.I'
veneverr eceivedahugt hatmadet he
entirewor ldseem l ikeitdoesnotexi standt ogetit
fel
tgr eat.Isuddenl ybel i
evedwhatMaMbel esai d
thatever ythinghappensf orar eason.If eelaf ew
brokenpi ecesbei ngmendedal readyandt hatwas
exact l
ywhatIneededt of eel.Ineededt of eelsafe
andwel come.Iwil
lfi
xmyl
if
eandt
hengohumble
myselfbefor
eLiyemaandhi
sfami
lyandaskf
or
for
giveness.
[
03/
28,
16:
59]Lynne:TWENTYTWO

LI
YEMA

Aweekhasgonebysi ncewhatNt ombidi dtome,

weekf il
ledwithtoomanyquest i
ons.It oldmy
mot heraboutwhathappenedandi tal
most
soundedl i
keshewasdef endingNt ombi .Shekept
onaski ngquestionslike,“whywoul dshel eaveall
theexpensi vecl
othest hatIboughtherwhenshe
couldhavesol ditandmademoney? ”.Itcameasa
shockt omebecausemymot herisusual l
yr eadyto
got owarwhenmeandbr ot
herhavebeenhur t
,she
hasbeenl i
kethatsincewewer ekids, yether eshe
i
sj usti
fyingNtombi'sactions.IguessI '
m nott he
onlyonewhosehear tchoseNt ombibecausemy
mot herseemedt oenj oyhrcompanyal ot
.
Iwentt oWayne' soffi
cetoconf r
onthi m andthey
tol
dmet hathewasadmi tt
edt ohospi t
alaf ewdays
agoaf tersufferi
ngahear tattack.Appar entl
y
i
nappr opriat
epi cturesofhi
m ar ealloversocial
medi aandi tbecamet omuchf orhimt obar e.I
askedwhi chhospi t
alhewasi nbecauseIwant edto
hearthet rut
haboutwhathappenedwi thmyown
ears.Iwantt oknowwhyheandNt ombichosemy
casewhent herear ehundredsofpeopl ewhomake
useoft heirsurrogacyservices.Iwant edtoknow
whoNt ombir eall
yis,whatbroughtt hetwooft hem
togetherandwhatt heendgoalt oal lofthiswas? .
WhenIwentt oseehi m If
oundaweakl ookingman
butIdidnotcar ebecauset heydocar ewhent hey
mademeaf ool.I'
m happytoseet hathewas
awakebecausehehadal otofquest i
onst oanswer.

Wayne:'Youcanfi
nishmei fyouwant,MrEl
ephant
.
Iwil
lnotevenoutupafight.Idon'
thavemuchto
l
iveforanymoreanyway”.Hesaidsoftl
ywhi
le
l
ookingatmewi t
hweakeyes.
Li
yema:“ Don'tyoufuckendarethr
owt hatpit
ytal
k
atme.Youcandi eforallIcar
ebutdon'tt
hinkfor
onesecondt hatIwillbetheonetodoit.You
deservetofeelthewayt hatyoudoaft
erwhatyou
di
dt ome.Ihavequest i
onsandyouwillanswerall
ofthem ortherewil
lbehel lt
opay”,
Isaidinanger
whilepoi
ntingmyf i
ngerathi m.

Wayne:“
Ask”
,hesai
dandIsatont
hechai
rnextt
o
hi
sbed.

Liyema:“
Whatmadeyoupeopl
etakeanint
ereston
me?Ofallthepeopl
ewhomakeuseofyour
servi
ces,
whychoosemycase?
”

Wayne:“ Iwouldbet
oblamef orallofthat,
Mr
Elephant.Ihadtoomuchtodealwi thathomeand
decidedtogot omyusualdr
inkingholei nthe
township.WhenIgotther
eIsawanacquai nt
anceI
metatt hattaver
nafewmonthsago.Heof f
eredt
o
drinkwithmeandIbecamet odr unkandst art
ed
venti
ng.Icompl ai
nedaboutmyf amilyandyou
addedt omyst r
esswi thyourrequir
ement sabout
thetypeofsur rogateyouwant ed.Ijustcouldnot
understandwhyyoucoul dnotchoosef rom t
helist
ofCaucasi anwoman, youkeptpushi ngformet o
fi
ndanAf ri
canone.Themor eIt ol
dyoubecause
youreggdonori sabl ackwoman, yourkidwouldbe
blacktoonomat t
erthecolorofthesurrogatebut
youkepton.Icompl ainedaboutyouwi t
hthis
acquaintancebecauseIdi dnotthi
nkhehadany
usefort heinformati
onanywaybutIwaswr ong.”,
hesaidcal mly.

Li
yema:“
Whot
hehel
list
hisacquai
ntance?
”

Wayne:“Somemanknownt omeonlyasDeBongz.
Idon'
tknowhisfullnamebutIi
magi
nei
ttobe
Bonganiorsomething”

Li
yema:“
Thenwhathappened?
”
Wayne:“Wewentourseparat
ewayspromisi
ngto
hangoutagainsoonanddayswentbyandli
fewas
normalunti
lhecall
edmetomeetupwithhim.He
thent
oldmet hathewant
edmet obeapartofa
plant
obringussomemoney. ”

Li
yema:“
AndIwastobet
hatcashmachi
ne?
”,I
l
aughedi
ndi
sbel
ief
.

Wayne:“ Isuspectthathet houghtt histhingwould

bringal otofmoneyt ohi m andt heladywhowas
helpinghi m.Irefusedatf ir
st ,
MrEl ephantbuthe
placedmebet weenar ockandahar dpl ace.
Uhm. .
I'
m amanwho. .
.uhm whoenj oyt hecompany
ofot hermenandhegotpi cturesofmewhi l
ebei
ng
i
nt hecompanyofanot herman.I twasei t
herI
agr eedtot heblackmailorl osemywi feandf ami
ly.I
comef rom astrictMusl i
mf amil
yandcommuni t
y
andhadIbeeni nanotherst at
ewhatIhaddone
woul dhavebeenpuni shabl ewi t
hdea. .
.”
Liyema:“DoIlookl
ikeIcareaboutwhatyoudoi n
yourprivat
eti
me?Hebl ackmail
edyou, yougave
i
nt oi
t,youmanagedtomakemet rustevery
recommendationyougavemeandt henwhat ?
”

Wayne:“
Andthewegottheballr
oll
ingbycr
eat
inga
goodenoughf
il
eforNt
ombi.”
,hiswordsmademe
l
augh.

Liyema:“
Soyoudidnotrunanytestonher?You
wer ewi
ll
ingt
omakeawomant hatmightbesi
ck
carrymychil
d?”
,Il
ookedatthecei
li
ngtryi
ngto
keepcalm.

Wayne:“
Thepl
anwast
ofaket
heembr
yot
ransf
er.
”

Li
yema:“Wellitwasnotfake,youbast
ard.A
di
ffer
entdoctorwhom Iassumeknowsnot hi
ng
aboutthi
sdidthetr
ansfer.Shecoul
dhavebeen
pregnantwi
thmychil
daswespeak.Awoman
whosehealt
hhist
oryweknownot
hingabout
!”
,I
shouted.

Nurse:“Si
r,i
fthi
sishowyouconductyour
selfI
suggestthatyouleavepl
ease”
,hesai
dwhil
e
standi
ngatt hedoor.
Wayne:“
Everyt
hingi
sfi
ne,
nur
se”
,hegavet
he
nur
seareassuri
ngnod.

Nurse:“Vi
sit
ingti
meisal
mostoveranywaysobe
qui
ck”,heorderedandwentbackout
.

Wayne:“ I
'm sorryformypar tinthis,
si r
.Ihadno
otherchoice.Ialsoassumet hatt heladydidnot
havemuchofachoi ce.Thewayshespoket ol
dme
shewasagai nstitbutthisDeBongzhadsomet hing
onhert oo.Ihavehear donnumer oust i
meshowhe
spoketoherl ikeshewasnot hi
ng.Ihaveonceseen
him sl
apherwhi l
et heywerewaitingf ormeinmy
off
ice.It
hinkshewasforcedt
odoi tbecausesheis
afr
aidofhim.Didyouatanypointf
eelli
keshe
couldbeabadper sonduri
ngherst
aywi thyou?”
,he
asked.

Istoodt ol eavemaki ngpromisest ohavehi m and

hisacquai ntancepayf orwhatt heydid.He
practicall
ybeggedmet oopenacaseagai nsthi m
becausehef eltprisonwouldbemuchbet t
ert han
havingt of acet heshamehewoul dbef acingont he
outside.Isatmemycarf oral ongwhi lethinking
aboutwhatt her i
ghtwayt odealwi ththiswoul dbe.
IfIplanr evenget henwhatwoul dt hatsayaboutme
andmychr i
stianvalues?IfIgetthem ar restedt hen
Ntombii sgoi ngtobet oo?WhydoIevencar eabout
whathappenst oher ?Couldsher eall
yhavebeen
forcedi ntothis? ?

NTOMBI

Li
fesof
arhasnotbeenbadbuti
thasnotbeenbad
either .Ihavemetmyuncl e,hiswi f
eandt hr eekids
too.Makhul uhasbeenspoi li
ngmer otten.My
cheekshavegot t
enr oundasar esult.Theyar e
l
ovel ypeopl ebutIst i
llcannothel pbutf eell i
keI'm
bur deni ngt hem.Ihavebeensensi ngt ensionwhen
i
tcomest omyuncl e.Itsalmosti fthoughhei s
pret endingt obeki ndt ome.Noonehast oldme
whymymot herleftsuchal ovinghome.Mr sBhas
gonebackt oCapeTownandhasbeencal ling
ever ydaysi nce.It hinkshef earsthatIwi l
lgoback
toBonga.Ihavenodesi retogobackt ot hatevil
manandIcanonl yhopet hathef eel sthesame.I t
seemsmymot herhadherf ather'
sr eser ved
per sonal it
y.Mygr andf atherisnotamanofmany
wor ds.Mygr andmaont heot herhandi sa
chat terbox.Theyar eli
ket wins, whenonegoest o
townort otheshopt heot herwoul dgowi th.My
grandmami ghthaveal ouderper sonal itythanmy
grandf atherbutIhavenotoncewi tnessedher
tryingt ogoabovehi sheadandcont rolhim.When
herhusbandspeaksshel i
stens.Theyar el ovely
peopl ewhi chmakesmewonderevenmor ewhy
Nobandl adeci dedt orunaway.Di dmyf ather
promi seherabet terl i
feli
keBongadi dwi t
hme?I '
ve
alsobeent hinkingaboutLi yema.It hi
nkt hef eeling
ofgui ltwi l
lconsumemeunt i
ltheendofmydays.
Mygr andpar entssatmedownl ikeachi l
dandt old
met oexpl ainwhyIr anawayf r
om home.I tseems
Mr sBdi dnott ellthem ever ythi
ng.It oldthem what
haddr ivenmet or unawayf rom homewi thaman.
Myst or ylefttear sinmygr andf ather'
seyesand
angeri nmygr andmot her's.I'
veal sonot icedt hatMr
Ml andui snotamanwhocanhi dehi semot ions.
Hist ear scomeeasi erwhenhei ssad.My
grandmot herthr eatenedt omakeNomvul apayf or
whatshehaddonet omeandal somakemyf at her
pay.It ol dhert hatmyf atherdi dnotknowanyt hing
butshet oldmet hatapar entcanseewhent hei r
childisnotwel l.Sai dthatmyf athersawt he
bruisedIt ri
edt ohi def r
om hi m buthewasj ust
afraidofmaki nghi swi feupset .Idon' tknowi ft hat
wast r
ue.Ihaveneverbeenangr yathi mf orwhat
hiswi fedi d.Howcoul dIwhenhedi dnotknowand
howwoul dhehaveknownwhenIkeptqui etf or
yearsonend?
Imadebr eakf
astfort
het hreeofusandwesatand
ate.If
eelatpeacehere.Thereisnoshouti
ng,no
drunkorhighpeoplecausingtroubl
e.Theonl
y
noisether
eis,i
sthoseofcowsanddogs.

Ntombi:“
MakhuluandTamkhul u,Iknowthatyou
donotwanttotal
kaboutthisbutIfeelIhavethe
ri
ghttoknowwhymymot herl
eft.Pleasetel
lme”,I
saidandtheyl
ookedateachother.

MrsMl andu:“
Tat
a?'
,shesai
dwhi
lest
il
llooki
ngat
herhusband.

MrMlandu:“Ey,
mychildyouareri
ght.Youdohave
ari
ghtt
oknowbef oreyouhearitf
rom someone
el
se.Whatisyourcl
anname? ”
,heasked.

Nt
ombi
:“MamTshawe”
,Isai
dwi
thpr
ide.
MrMl andu:“
Wel lyourgr
andmotheri
salso
MamTshawe.Thati swhyweforbadethe
r
elat
ionshipbetweenyourmotherandfather
.That
i
swhywecoul dneveraccepthisl
obolaandthati
s
whyyourmot herchosetorunawayfrom home”.
Hi
swor dsleftmespeechless.

MrsMl andu:“
Accordi
ngtoourcul
tur
ethatmeans
I
'm yourfat
her'
srel
ati
ve”
,shesai
dsoftl
y.

Ntmbi
:“Iknowwhatitmeans,Makhul
u.Soi
tmeans
t
hatI'
m aproductofshame?
”,Isai
dinawhi
sper
.

MrMl andu:“Youhavenothingt odowi t

hthe
choicesyourparentsmade.Al loft
hisisbecauseof
them andthem only.Youwillnotapologi
zefor
beingbornwhenyouwer enotevengi venachoice.
”,
hesaidtryi
ngt omakemef eelbet t
erbutthatdi
d
nothelpmuch.
Mr sMl adu:“Allthatweneedt odoishavea
ceremonywher eweaskt heancest
or stoforgive
whathashappenedandaskt hem t
onotbl ockal l
goodt hingsi nyourl i
fe.Everythi
ngwi l
lbef orgiven,
mybaby.Wehavef orgivenyourmot herbecause
weunder standt hatlovesomet imesmakeyoul ose
allreasoning.”,shesai d.

Ntombi
:“I
texpl
ainswhyMalumeBandi l
ekeeps
sayi
ngt
hathehadabl ackgoatorsheepreadyf
or
me.Heisref
err
ingtot
his”

MrMl andu:“Ihavet
oldhim numeroust
imest
hathe
needstomi ndthebusinessofhi
sownhouse.
”
Ntombi:“Ial
soheardsomet hi
ngaboutMama' s
bodybeingtakenfrom Queenstowntoher
e.She
neversai
dshewi shestobebur iedher
ewhil
eshe
wassick”
MrsMl andu:“Evenifshedid,
shewouldnothave
di
scussedi twit
hachi l
d,Ntombi
.Ifshedi
ddiscuss
i
twithyourf at
her,hewouldhavesaidnot
hing
aboutitbecauseheknewhewoul dhaveno
deci
sionsasf arasNobandlaisconcer
ned”

Ntombi:“
Buttheywerel
egal
lymarred.Mama'
sID
saidNobandl
aPotiandnotMlandu”

MrMl andu:“Touscul t
ureisi mportant,mychil
d.
Theymi ghthavedonet hingst hewest er
nwaysbut
i
ftheyskippedthet r
aditi
onalwayst hentousthey
werenevermar ri
ed.Yourf atherneversenthis
famil
yher etobuil
dar el
at i
onshipwi thus.”

Ntombi:“
Buthedoesnothaveext
endedf
ami
ly
ei
ther
,wellnotmanyanyway”
MrsMl andu:“I
'
m surehetookyourmot hertohi s
famil
y,theyaskedquesti
onsanddi scoveredthey
shoul
dnotbemar r
ied.Perhapsyourfatherlef
this
homel i
keyourmot
herdidt
oo.Theonlypersonwho
cangiveusanswersi
syourfat
herandI'
m gladyou
arehere.Nowyoucanshowuswher eyougrewup”

Ntombi
:“Idon'
twantt
oseet
hatwoman”
,Isai
dina
sadwhi
sper.

MrsMlandu:“Thatwi
tchwi
llnotdar
etouchyou
whi
leI
'
mt here.Iwil
lshowherwhatI'
m madeof”

MrMl andu:“ Wewon' tgotheirtofight .Iwantust o

putthi
st hingt orest.Idonotwantt ospendmyl ast
yearsfightingMzi wakhewhenIwast edmanyyear s
angryathi m already.Iwantpeace.Iwantpeacef or
us,mywi feandf oryou,mygr andchild.Idonot
wanttof ightwi t
hyourf atherbutther ear ecertai
n
mattersthatneedt obedi scussed, mat tersthat
shouldbedeal twithbyt hosewhower etherewhen
i
tallstarted.Likeyourgr andmot hersai d, youneed
tohaveacer emonydone.Idon' twantanymor e
misfortunesf oll
owingyoubecausei tseemsl i
ke
yourl
if
ewasf i
ll
edwiththat.Idon'
twantyour
daught
erstoendupr unni
ngf r
om hometoo
someday,Ntombi.Doyouhearme? ”
Nt
ombi
:“Yes,
Tamkhul
u.Ihearyou”
,Inodded.

Mr sMl andu:“ButIsti
llwantt ositwit
hthat
Nomvul a,l
ookherst r
aightintheeyeswhi l
etalki
ng
toher .Iwanttoknowwhatki ndofwomanwhohas
childrenofherownwoul dt r
eatababywhohadat
thet i
mej ustl
osthermot herli
ketrashinher
father'shouse.Iwantt olookintoMziwakhe'seyes
andaskhi mifher eal
ly,r
eallydidnotreal
izethat
hiswi tchisabusinghisdaught erforyear
s”

MrMl
andu:“
Youwi
llnotgot
her
etocauset
roubl
e.”
MrsMl andu:“
No,Tata.Ir
espectyou, myhusband
butthi
sIhavet odo.Iwantthem tofeelshamef or
whattheydidtomydaught er'
sonlybaby.Iftheydid
notwanthertheycouldhavebr oughtherhere.
Mziwakheknowswher ehet ookNobandl aandif
Nobandla'
schildwasabur dentohisnewmar ri
age,
heshoul dhavebr oughtNt ombihere.She'snot
eventhirtyyetshecanr i
ghtabookaboutt hepain
sheendur edandallt
hatbecausesomewoman
fai
ledtol oveherhusband'schild?No, Tat
aplease
don'texpectmet obequi etaboutthis.Thisher
e”,
shesaidwhi l
epointi
ngatme.“ Shei souronlyli
nk
toNobandl a,
IseeherandIseeourchi ldandit
painset oknowt hatIcouldnotpr ot
ectNobandla's
baby.”,shesai dwhil
ecryingandwal kedout.Istood
togoaf terherbutTamkhul ust
oppedme.

MrMl and:“Whenshei slikethis,shepr ef

erstobe
alone.Mybaby.Shewi l
lnowgowor kinhergarden
untilshecal msdown.Wewi l
lfixitall.Letthi
snot
beyourbur den.Foroncet hrowt hebur denatus, so
wecancar r
yt hem foryou.Youwi llsee, i
nafew
mont hs,youwi l
lfeelnew.Youwon' tevenknowt he
newNt ombi .Zimtlesuggestedt hatyoucont i
nue
withyourvi sitstothedoct ortotalkandshewi l
lpay
forit.Letthisclannamei ssuenotevenbeabur den
onyou.Wewi llfi
xit,weoweyoual ot.”
Nt
ombi
:“Youdon'
towemeanyt
hing,
Tamkhul
u.I
j
ustaskt h..
.t
hatyouneverst
oplovi
ngmepl ease.I
don'twanttolosemorepeoplet
hatIlove”
,Isai
d
beforebreaki
ngdowni ntear
s.

MrMl andu:“Never
!Youseehowyourgr andmother
i
sr eact
ing?Iti
sbecauseshel ovesyou.The
thoughtofyouenduri
ngpainf rom yourfather'
s
wifeandthenthatuncul
tur
edboyyouwer einvolved
withbreaksusbecauseweknowi twoul dnever
havehappenedhadwebeeni nyourl i
fe.Wel ove
youandi t'
salovenoevi
lwillbeabl etobreak.

Ihuggedhim andheki ssedmycheek.Il ovet hem.

Whodoesnotl ovet heirgrandparent s?Ireali
zedi t
i
snousegoi ngofaboutwhatcoul dandmi ghthave
happened.Wear eher enow.Ist il
lneedt of i
gureout
exact
lyhowIf eelaboutt heclannamei ssue.I '
m
notevengoingtojudgemymot herbecauseshe
hadherreasons.Mygr andfatherwasr i
ghtwhenhe
saidi
tisnonofmybusi nessbuti tisbusinesst hat
aff
ectme.ItexplainswhyMal umeBandi leseem of f
aroundme.Iknowhel ovesmebutIt hinkhef ears
whatmypr esencei nhisf ami
ly'
shousemi ghtdo
si
ncemyexi stenceiswr ong.Perhapshef ear
st he
ancestorswi l
lpunishthem.Idon' tknowwhyhei s
botheri
nghi msel fwit
hTshawebusi nesswhenhei s
Myirha.Iwilldot hi
sceremonyt hatwi l
lshowt he
enti
revil
laget hatI'
m abl acksheepint hefamily.
I'
m notlookingf orwardtoseeingNomvul abutshe
hadbet t
ernott estme, I
'vegotbackupnow.

Iwantt ohearwhatmyf atherhast osayt oo.It

woul dhur tmet oheart hathesuspect edI'm being
mist reatedyetdi dnothingabouti t.Iwentt ot he
gar denwher eMakhul ui sbusypl uckingoutgr ass
thatdi dnotbel onginhergar den.Ibowedand
helpedher .Wedi dnotspeakt heent ir
et i
meandi t
fel
tgood.Wedi dnotfillourspacewi t
hempt y,
meani nglesswor ds.Wej ustenj oyedeachot hers
companyi nsi l
ence.Idon' tknowi fIwillevertell
them t heevi lIdidagainstLi yema, butI'
m sur ethat
theyl ovemeandwantt oprot ectmewi thever y
strengt htheyhavel eft.Idon' tknowhowmyf ather
willreceiveusorhowhewi llreactwhent heywant
totakemymot her 'sremai nsbutI 'ml ookingf orward
toseei nghi m.Iti st i
meIhumbl edmysel fbef or emy
fatherandaskf orf orgi veness.Thatdoesnotj ust
applyt omyear thlyf at herbutal somyheavenl y
Fatheraswel l
.Ihavedonet hingst hathavegone
againstHi steachi ngs.Ihavehur tLi yema, oneof
Hischi l
dren.Ineedt oaskf orf orgi venessandst art
doingr i
ghtbybot hmyf at
her s.If eell ikeI '
m notj ust
Mzi wakhePot i'
sl ongl ostdaught erbutal soGod' s
l
ongl ostdaught er.Af terthegr aceandmer ciest hat
havebeenshower eduponmyl ife, itist i
meIgo
homeandf i
xthings.I twi l
lnotbeeasybuti ti sa
journeywor thgoi ngon.Iwi llst artgoi ngt ochur ch
withmygr andpar ent sandl ivear ight eousl ife.Iwi l
l
notst ayatmyf ather '
shouse.Af tert heyhavedeal t
witht heirissues, Iwi l
lcomebackt ol iveher e.Ther e
i
speaceher e.Nomvul ami ghtaskf orf orgiveness
andal lbutshewi llneverl oveme.Her eI'ml oved, I
knowi tandIf eeli t.I
'm home.Atl eastInowhave
anI D, al
lIneedi smycer t
ifi
cat eandIwi llgol ook
foraj obandt ryt ogobackt oschoolpar tt ime.Iwi l
l
makemygr andpar entspr oudandmysel ft oo.
Nothi
ngi
sst
andi
ngi
nmywayofmaki
ngmy
dr
eamscometr
uenow.
[
03/
28,
17:
00]Lynne:TWENTYTHREE

NTOMBI

Thedayt ogot omyf ather '

shousehascome.Af t
er
alotofplanningf r
om mygr andpar entsanduncl e
theyfeeltheyaref inallyreadyt ococonf r
ontmy
father
.Theysayt hatt heygoi npeace, butIknow
suchani ssueisboundt oraiseol dwoundsand
emot i
ons,especi all
yf rom mygr andmot her.Ifeel
shehasnotf orgivenmyf at
herf ortaki
ngheronl y
daughterthoughmymot herwasnotf orced.Ido
notknowhowIf eel aboutgoi nghomeyet .Ithas
beenyear ssinceIhavegone.Idon' tevenknowi f
thepeopleIleftbehi ndar estillali
ve.Myf ather
mighttellmet or eturnt owher eI'mf r
om andi ft
hat
i
st hecaseIatl easthavear ealhomet ogot oand
notgot oBonga' s.Thatsat anhasnott ri
edt o
contactmeagai n.Myphoneneverr ingsbutt hen
againwhowoul dcal
lme?MrsBcal
lsbutshei
sthe
onlyone.ApartofmehopesLi
yemawouldcal
l,
evenifi
tisj
usttoshoutatmeandt
ellmehow
muchhehat esme.

MeandMakhul usatatt hebackofMal ume

Bandi le'sbakkie.Heputaspongeandbl anketf or
ustobecomf ortablewhi l
eheandTamkhul usati n
fr
ont .Makhul umakepl entyoff oodf ort heroadf or
atript hatmi ghtt akeaboutt wohour s.I'm not
compl aini
ngt houghbecauseIenj oythef ood, so
muchsot hatI '
mt heonl yonest uffi
ngherf ace
si
ncewel efthome.Iguesst heyar etwoner voust o
eatort heyarepr epar ingt hemsel vesment allyfor
whati tt ocome.Ii ntendont akingt hingsast hey
come.Wemi ghtbewel comedorchasedawayand
I'
m pr eparedf orbot ht hoseopt ions.I '
dgeta
gli
mpseofMakhul ul ookingatmewi t
handwhenI
l
ookatherat tentivelyshel ooksoutoft hewi ndow.
I'
m sur eshei ssayi ngI '
m bei ngsel fi
shf oreat i
ngso
muchoft hef ood.If i
ni shedt hechi ckent hi
ghI '
m
holdingi nmyhandandcl osedt hecont ainerwi th
thefoodi ni t.Idon' twanthert othinkI '
m gr eedy.
Tamkhul uisdi abet i
csoI '
m sur emostoft hef oodis
forhim.Thet woofussati nsi l
encel isteningt othe
radi
oonmyphone.Wear rivedi nQueenst ownaf ter
aboutt wohour s.Myner vesar estar tingt osi nkin.I
guessIwashopi ngt het ri
pwoul dbel ongert han
thi
s.Tamkhul uopenedt hel i
ttlewi ndowbet ween
thefrontandbackoft hebakki etot al kmet ome.
Heaskedi fIr emembert hepl aceandi dIwi llbe
abletodi rectt hem t omyf ather '
shouse?Iwi shthey
hadaGPSi nthecarl ikeLi yema' scardi d.That
thi
ngmakesl i
feont her oadeasi er.Mal umeknows
thear eawel lbecausehet r
avel sal ot.Hest il
lcan
notbel i
evet hathi ssi sterwassocl osebyal lthose
yearsago.I '
m notconf identenought odirectt hem
butthenIsawashopt hatIusedt osi tatwhenI
wast ryingt ogetawayf rom Nomvul a'sr age.I tsti
ll
hadt hatbi gpebbl esliker ocki nironyofi t
.
Everythingbecamef ami li
araf terseei ngt heol d
shopt hatseemst ostillbei nbusi ness.Iwonderi fit
i
sst i
llownedbyt hesameper son?Idi r
ect ed
MalumeasbestasIcanunt ilwepar kedi nf rontof
thehouseIusedt ocal lhome.Wel litstopped
feeli
nglikehomeaftermymot herdied.Thehouse
l
ooksdi ffer
ent
,it
'smuchbi ggerthanthelastti
meI
sawi tandbeauti
fultoo.Itmademewonderi fmy
fatherandmyf amil
yst i
llli
vehere.Thereisnoway
myf athercoul
dbuildsuchabi ghouse.

Ifeltmygr andmot her'swarm handt ouchmyl eg.I

l
ookedupandt hethreeofthem al r
eadyst ood
out si
dethevehi clewaitingforme.Il ookedatt he
houseonceagai nandt ookadeepbr eath.If el
lsi ck.
Mal umehel pedmegetof ft
hebakki eandTamkhul u
closedthecap.Makhul usensedmyner vousness
andbr ushedmybackgent l
y.I'
m notr eadyf ort his.I
feelasthoughI '
m goingt ovomitassoonasIst ep
i
nt othepeopl e'sbeautif
ulhouse, andt hosepeopl e
mi ghtnotevenbemyf ami l
y.Themenwal kedi n
fi
rstwhileMakhul uandIf oll
owedbehi nd.She' s
holdingmet i
ght l
yandI '
m gratefulforthesuppor t
becauseI '
mf eel i
ngsomewhatl i
ghtheaded.
Tamkhul uknockedl oudlymucht othei r
ri
tat i
onof
thepeoplei nsideI'm sure.“
I'
m comi ng, i
fyoubr eak
mydoorwi thyouri l
lmanner edknocki ng, you'llpay
forit”,saidavoi cef rom insi de.It'
sNomvul a.I
woul dknowt hatvoi cef rom anywher e.Memor ies
fl
oodedmymi nd, andt heywer enotgr eatones.I
couldf eelmysel fhavi ngdi ff
icultytobr eath.I've
readuponpani cat tacksi nsomemagazi nes, and
I'
m sur eI 'm havingone.Mkahul utoldmet obr eath
andgavemewat er.Sheaskedmet onotshowt he
devilthati tstil
lhascont roloverme.I sNomvul a
thisdevi lshespokeof ?Imanagedt ocal m down
j
usti nt imebecauseNomvul ashowedherf ace
soonaf t
er.Shescannedeachf aceoft hepeopl ei n
frontofherandIcoul dseet hatshei sconf used
untilhereyesf ellonmyf ace.Shecl osedt hedoori n
ourf acesandor der edust ol eaveherpr emi ses
befor eshecal l
st hepol i
ce.Makhul udar edhert o
callthepol i
cesayi ngshehadbeeni npr isondur ing
theapar thei
d, soshedoesnotf earpr i
soncel ls.I
don'tt hinkpr i
sonsar et hesamenowast heywer e
then.Per hapsf ell
owi nmat essangst r
uggl esongs
wi t
hyoubackt hent okeepupyourspi ritbutI '
m
surenotf ell
owi nmat essi ngwhi letheybeatyouup
tocr ushyourspi r
it.Idonotwantmyf ami l
yi nj ail
becauseoft hatwoman.Tamkhul usuggest edt hat
wegowai tinthecarformyf at
hert
ocomehome
becauseitseemsast houghNomvulaisaloneat
home.Wewentt oourvehicl
eandwaitedforaman
thatmightcomehomesoonormi ghtnevercome
becauseforallweknowmyf at
hercouldhavedi
ed
l
ongago.

MrsMlandu:“
Ihaveneverseensuchar udeperson
i
nmyl i
fe.Tocl
osethedoorinanelder
'sfaceli
ke
t
hat?
”,shesai
dandclappedherhandsonce.

MrMl andu:“LetuswaitforMzi
wakhetocome
home.Hewi l
lnotchasehisownchil
daway.”
,he
saidcalmly.Iwishwewer eal
lascal
m asmy
grandpa,t
hewor l
dwouldnotbesoviol
ent
.

Bandil
e:“
Hest ol
emysi st
erfr
om herhome, so
anyt
hingispossibl
e.Hedidnoteventryt
olookf or
hi
schildorwewoul dhaveseenthem onthoselong
l
ostfamil
ymember sTVshows.I ti
snotdiff
icul
tto
fi
ndpeoplethesedays.
”
MrMlandu:“Wasiteasyf orustofi
ndNobandl
a?
Whydidn'
tyouevertalkabouttheseTVshows
whenwewer el
ookingf oryoursi
ster
?”,
heasked
whi
lel
ookingatMalume.

MrsMl andu:“
Bandi leisjustsayi
ng,Tat
a.Letusnot
fi
ghtamongstour selvesnow.I '
m suret
hedevili
s
l
ookingatusthr ought hewindowandwemustnot
l
ooklikewearef rightenedbecausewear enot”
,she
sai
dwhi lel
ookingatal lthefr
ontwindowsofthe
house.

Bandi
le:“
Whati
fsher
eal
lycal
lst
hepol
ice?
”
MrMlandu:“Andsaywhatt othem?Thatachild
hascomet oherfat
her'shouse?Sincewhenist
hat
acri
me?”,hesaidsti
llcal
m.IthinkI'
m aTamkhulu'
s
gi
rlf
orsure.Heisquietbutalwayshastheri
ght
answer
s.
Mr sMlandu:“ Lethercal
lthepolice,Idareher.I
wouldliket oknowwhatt hepolicewi l
lsaywhen
theyheart hatsheabusedmygr andchildforyears”
,
sheshout ed.Mygr andmot heri
sf ei
sty.Nowonder
shewasi nandoutofpr i
sonbecauseI '
m sureshe
gavetheapar theidoff
ici
alshell
.Iwoul dlovetohear
mor eofthosest ori
es.

West oodout si
def oranhourandnot hinghappened.
Nopol iceshowedupandnei therdi dmyf ather.Two
chil
dreni nschooluni form appr oachedus.Thegi rl
j
ustpassedusbutt heboyst oodandgr eetedwi th
respect.Iti
sLwaziandNol wazi ,myf ather'
s
chil
drenwi thNomvul a.Nolwazigaveusadi r
tylook
andcal ledherbrotheri nt
ot heyar dbutLwazi asked
whywewer eoutsideandnoti nside.Tamkhul utold
himt hatwear ewai ti
ngf orthemanoft hehouse.
Nomvul aopenedthedoort ol etNol waziinand
call
edhersoni ntoobuthedi dnotevenl ookback.
Hel ookssomuchl i
kemyf athernowt hathe's
grown.Hekeptonl ookingatmewi t
heyesf il
led
withquest i
on.
Lwazi
:“Si
si?
”,hesai
dwhenhef
inal
lyr
ecogni
zed
me.

Nt
ombi
:“Hel
lo,
Lwa”
,Isai
dwi
thasmi
le.

Lwazi:“
Wherehaveyoubeen?Tatahasbeen
worr
iedsickaboutyou,
Iwastoo”
,hecamecloser
andhuggedme.

Nt
ombi
:“I
t'
sal
ongst
ory,
Lwa”
,Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Lwazi
:“Letmetakeyout
oTat
a.Hei
sint
hef
iel
d
wit
hhiscows.”

Nt
ombi
:“Hehascowsnow?
”
Lwazi:
”Somuchhaschangedher
eathomesince
youlef
t.El
der
s,Icanshowyouwher
emyfatheri
s.”
Bandi
le:“
Canwegobycar
?”
Lwazi
:“Yes,
Sir
”,henoddedqui
ckl
y.

Nomvul
a:“
Het,Lwazi!Comeint
othi
shouseri
ght
now,
youswine!
”,sheshout
edfrom t
hedoor
.

Lwazi
:“Letusgo.
”,hesai
dwhi
lel
ooki
ngat
Tamkhulu.

Lwazigoti nthef rontseatwi ththemen.Howhe

andTamkhul ufitinonechai rwasbeyondme.I
guessbei ngslendercomesi nhandysomet i
mes.I
couldseeLwaziwavehi sthi
nl ongarml eftand
ri
ghtwhi ledi
rectingMal ume.Thecarcamet oa
standsti
llwhenwer eachedanopenf i
eldf i
ll
edwith
cows.Thesecoul dnotpossi blybemyf ather'
s
cows.Di dtheywi nt helotter
y?Mal umecamet o
opent hebackf ormeandMakhul utogetout .Lwazi
wentt oanoldman, shookhi shandingr eeti
ngand
pointedatuswi thasmi le.Themanl ookedatus
andwal kedcl oser .Icannotbel ievet hatit'
smy
father.Theyear shavecaughtupwi thhim.Hi sback
alsol ookl ikei thasasl ightbendt oi t.Hisheadnow
l
ookbi ggerbecausehehasgot tenthi n.Myf ather
wasneveragoodl ookingman, buthewasnotl ike
this.Hisski nl ooksdar kertoo.Coul dmebei ng
awayhavecausedhi m somuchst r
esst hatheaged
bef orehi st i
me?Hel ooksl i
kehei st hesameageas
mygr andf ather .Hewal kedcloserandIcoul dsee
thather ecogni zedeachper sonwhost oodinf ront
ofhi m.Her ant omeandgavemeat ighthug.I
wr appedmyar msar oundhi sthinwai standsobbed
l
ikeal i
ttlechi ld.Idon' tknowwhatmademecr yso
much.I si tthef actt hatIhadmi ssedhi m?I sitthe
over whel mi ngwel comef rom him?Ori sitt
hef act
thatIcoul df eelmyf ather '
sr i
bswhi leIhughi m?
Per hapsi t'sf orallthoser easons.Lwazi also
wr appedhi sar msar oundm.t hethr eeofusj ust
stoodl iket hatf ort helongestwhi le.Ididnothavea
relati
onshi pwi tht het winsbecauseNomvul a
alwayst reatedt hem bet t
erthanme.I tisdiffi
cul tt
o
bui l
dar elationshi pwi thyoursi bli
ngswhenyouar e
theonl yonebei ngsi nglesoutf orallt hebad
treatments.Ther ewasat imewhenIr esent edt hem
toobutasIgr ewol der,Ireal
izedt hattheydi dnot
knowbet t
eranddi dnotdeser vemyhat red.Ido
rememberadaywheni twasr ainingheavi l
yout si
de
thoughandNomvul amademesl eepint hedog
houseagai nli
keshedi dmanyt imesbef or e.I
remembert heyoungLwazicomi ngt ot hedog
housewi t
habi gpieceofdr ybr eadandabl anket .
Hedi dnotsaymuch.Hej ustgavet hei temst ome
anddi sappear edint othehouseagai n.Iguesshe
hasal waysbeent heopposi teofhi smot herbuti t
seemsNol wazimi ghttakeaf terherj udgi ngf rom
howshej ustpassedel der sli
ket hatinst eadof
greeting.Myf atherl etgoandl ookedatmewhi l
e
whi ppingawaymyt ears.Hekeptonaski ngme
whathehaddonef ormet ojustdeci det ogol ike
that?It ol
dhi mt hatitwasnotamat tert obe
discussedataf ield.Henoddedandgr eet edmy
fami l
y.Hecoul dnotl ookmygr andpar ent sint he
eyes, I'
m assumi nghef eelsashamed.Mal umedi d
notshakemyf ather '
shandatal l
.Makhul utoldhi m
thathiswi fespati nourf acesbef oreshecl osedt he
doori nourf aces.Suchexagger at i
on.
Tat
ai nstructedtheyoungmenwhower ewit
hhim
whenwecamet othefi
eldt
olookaf t
erthecows.
Hegoti ntohi sbakki
ewithLwaziandwegoti nto
Malume' sanddr ovebacktohishouse.Wear ri
ved
att
hehouseandNomvul ahadnochoi cebuttolet
usin.Tat ainvit
edustohaveaseat .Thehouse
l
ooksamazi ng.Nomvulaoffer
edust eaandweal l
sai
dnot hankyou.

Makhulu:“Doyouwanttoki
ll
usbef
orewegetto
t
ellyourhusbandt
hatyourt
hedevi
l'
sdaught
er?
”

Tata:“Whodoyout hinkwil
ltr
ustanyt
thi
ngyougi
ve
them afterwhatyoudid?Youspati
nanol d
person'
sf aceandshutthedoorofmyhouseinmy
chil
d'sface.”
Nomvula:“
DidNtombit
ellyout
hat,
TataKaLwazi
?I
t
oldyouthi
schil
disali
ar.Shecl
ear.
..
”
Tata:“Hey,shutup,
shutupandsi
tdown!
”,he
ordered.Shesatdown.

Tamkhulu:“Wearenother
etocauseconfli
cti
n
yourhouse,Mzi
wakhe.Whateveryouneedtodeal
wit
h,withyourwi
fedoitpr
ivat
ely.
”

Tat
a:“
I'
m sor
ry,
Faku.
”

Theel dersstart
edtotalkandIsatqui etl
yli
st ening
tothem.Mal umeandMakhul ul ef
tallsensesof
peacewhent heystart
edt alki
ngabouthowmy
fathertookmymot her
.Nomvul awoul dlookatme
withal ookofpur edi
sgust .I'
dbef ooli
ngmysel fifI
saidI;m notafrai
dofherbecauseIam.Myhear t
woul dbeatfastereachtimemyeyescaughther s.I
f
l
ookscoul dkil
l,I
'
dhavebeendeadandbur iedby
now.Idi dnotshowhert hatshest il
lrat
tl
esmy
feathersthough.Ipret
endedt obebr ave.Ther ewas
amomentwher eshelookedatmewi t
houtbl i
nking.
Ilookedr i
ghtatheruntilshel ookedawayf irst.I'
m
faki
ngitunt
ilImakeit
.IfIcoul
dsur
viveBonga'
s
abuse,
thenherdeathstaresmeannothi
ng.

Tata:“Ihearyou, MlandufamilyandIt
akeful
l
responsibi
li
tyforwhathappened.Nobandlawasa
womanwhor espectedcultur
everymuch,butI
convincedhert hatourloveismoreimpor
tant”
Makhulu:“
Yesweknowt hat.Nobandl
acomefrom
thesetwohandsandi
fthereisonethi
ngwetaught
ourchil
dishowtobeaculturedyoungwoman.
ThatiswhyIsayyout
ookher .”

Tamkhulu:“
GoingonaboutMzi
wakhetaki
ng
NobandlaorNobandl
arunni
ngawayonherown
freewi
llwon'
ttur
nbackti
me.Theonl
ywayi s
forwar
d.

Malume:“Theonl
ywayforwar
disust aki
ng
Nobandl
a'sremai
nsandrebur
yherinthefamil
y
bur
ialsi
te”
,hiswor
dslef
tmyfather
'seyeswide
open.I
'
m notsur
eifi
t'
sbecauseofshockorwhat
.

Tata:“
Shewasnol ongerachi
ldintheMlandu
house,shewasawi f
einthePotif
amily.Shei
s
rest
ingexact
lywheresheshoul
dbe”

Malume:“Youevenhavethener
vetosayshe's
fr
om thePotif
amilywhenyouneverpai
dlobol
a.
Whatyoutower edoi
ngherewascohabit
ing”
,he
shout
ed.

Tat
a:“
Imightnothavepai
dl obol
atothefamilybut
wemadethebestofthesi
tuationatt
hetimeand
wegotanot
herNyawuzafami l
ypaylobolato.
Someoneadvi
sedusthatsincetheyhavethesame
cl
annameasher ,
theyweregoodenought o..
.”

Mal
ume:“Soyourespectcult
urewhenitsui
tsyou?
Whenmyparentstol
dyout hatyoucoul
dnotmarry
t
hei
rchi
ldbecauseyouandMamahavet hesame
cl
annameyout houghtcl
annamer el
ati
onswere
nonsensebutwhenyouwantedwhatyouwantedit
wasgoodenough.Youareunbel
ievabl
e!”

Nomvul a:“
Hey,don'
tyoudar
eshoutatmyhusband!
Whot hehelldoyouthi
nkyouar
e.Youcamefrom
yourgrassmattomyhouseonlyto.
..

Tata:“Hey,youkeepyourmout hshut.This
businessconcernsmyl at
ewi f
eandherf amil
y.You
arenothinghere,sogetout”
,heshoutedathiswi f
e.
Nomvul asatandf ol
dedherarmswi t
hanat ti
tude.
“Out!”
,myf at
herorderedagai
n.Shest oodatwalked
out.

Tamkhulu:“Bandil
e,Isuggestt hatyoualsoget
someair,son.Ifweallshoutlikethisthennothi
ng
goodwil
lcomeoutft hi
s.Ijustwantt of i
xthi
ngsso
thatmychildcanrestinpeaceknowi ngthatwe
havefor
givenherandt hattherei speacebetween
usandherhusbandnomat terwhathappened.We
can'
twakeNobandl aupfrom t
hegraveandhave
herexpl
ainhersideofthest
ory.Youandyour
motherassumeyouknowwhathersi deoft
hestory
wasbecauseyoukeeponsayi ngMzwakhet ookher.
Wellassomeonewhohadat alktoNtombiabout
thi
sbeforesheleft
,Iknowshewasnotf or
ced.”

Makhul
u:“
Tal
k?Youhaveneverment
ionedi
t”

Tamkhul u:“When,mydearwhenal lyoutoldt he

childwaswhatshewasdoi ngi sasin,she’dbur nin
hellfor?Nobandlawasalwaysf reetotalktome
steadofyou, j
ustasBandil
ei sfreetotalktoyou
mor ethanme.Donotactshocked.Weal lwer eat
faultsomehowf ort
hingsturningoutlikethis.Ifit
wasupt omenotevenNt ombiwoul dbeint his
room butsincesheinsit
ed,whoam It odenyhert he
truthofwhathappenedbetweenhermot herand
father.Nobandl
aknewmar r
yingMzi wakhewas
wr ongbutshediditanyway,thatwecan' tchange.
Whatweneedt olookatnowi sawayf orwar d”,he
sai
dwhil
elooki
ngatmyuncl
e.Mal
umesatback
downandkeptqui
et.

Tata:“I
'
m notwil
li
ngtohavemyNobandl a'
s
remainsdugup.Iknowt hatshei
srest
ingi
npeace.
PerhapsNtombinotbeinghomewher eshebel
ongs
mighthavedist
urbedherpeacebutourchi
ldis
homenow. ”

Makhul u:“
I'
m notleavingmychi l
dherewi ththat
wit
chyoucal lawife.Tel
lhi
m everythi
ngNt ombi,
don'
tleaveasi ngledetai
lout
.Lethi m knowjust
howcr uelli
fewasunderhi sroof.Comi nghereand
sayi
ng“ ourchildishome”asi fNobandl awould
havewant edherchi l
dtoli
vewi t
ht hat
...
thatt
hing”
,
shesaidwi t
hdi sgust.

Ntombi:“Idon'
tthi
nkthi
sistheri
ghtt
imetotal
k
aboutit
,Makhulu.Youallar
ealr
eadysoupset.
”,I
saidsoft
ly.
Tamkhulu:“Mor ereasontotalknow, mybaby.Let
uslayeveryt
hingont hetablenowandl ookfor
waystomovef orward.Br
ingingthingsupbitbybit
wil
lonl
ypr ol
ongourheal i
ng”, hesaidwhi
lelooki
ng
atme.Inodded.

Makhul uaskedt hatmyf at

hercal lhiswifebacki n
soi twon' seem ast houghI '
ml yingandmaki ngup
stories.Nomvul areturnedandt hrewher sel
font he
chai r
.Isweari fmygr andmacoul d,she'
shaveher
handsar oundNomvul a'sneckbynow.She' s
Makhul uf earnothing,shesai dsoi nher sel
f.Tata
toldmet osaywhatIwant edtosayandnotbe
afraid.Itoldhim everything,i
nbet weensobsof
cour se.Hewascr yingadsowasmygr andmot her.
Thi sisasensi t
iveissuef orherbecauseshepar tl
y
blamesher sel
f.Makhul ubel i
eveshadshel ookf or
mymot herharder,shecoul dhavef oundmeand
raisedmeandspar edmeal lthepai n.Thatwoul d
havebeengr eat,nochi l
ddeser vest oknowpai n
andt raumaf rom ayoungage, butTamkhul uwas
ri
ght“ whati f
s”willgetusnowher e.Tataasked
Nomvul awhatshehast osayaboutever yt
hingand
shedeni edi t
,Ididnotexpecthert otakeowner ship
ofherwr ongdoings.IthoughtTat awoul dtakeher
sidebuti nsteadheapol ogizedtomef orbeingbl i
nd
tothingst hatwerehappeni ngunderhi sroof.He
saidhebel i
evesme.Nowor dscoul ddescribethe
feel
ingofhear i
ngmyf at
hersayhebel ievesme.
Hearingwher eandwhoIr anawaywi t
hhur thi
m.
Nof atherwant stohearhi steenagedaught erran
awaywi thamant oabi gcityonlyt obehi s
punchi ngbag.Tat aaskedt ohaveamomentwi t
h
j
ustme.Thef amilywentout side.Hecamet osit
nexttomeandgavemeanot herhug.

Nt
ombi:“
Youlookthi
nnerandol
der
,Tat
a”,
Isai
d
whi
lel
ooki
ngatin.

Tata:“
Hey,
mychi l
dli
fehasnotalwaysbeengood.
RememberIworkedinthemineforsometime”,he
askedandInodded.“
Wellt
hathadsomeef fecton
myheal
th.Iwasdi
agnosedwit
hchr
onicsi
li
cosi
sa
f
ewyearsback”
,hi
swordslef
tmespeechl
ess.

Nt
ombi
:“Whati
sthat
?”,
Ifi
nal
lymanagedt
oask.

Tata:“I
t'
sasor toflungdi seasecausedbyi nhal
ing
tomuchsi li
cadust .It
'sokaybecauseIget
tr
eatment, I
'
m bet t
erthant hosewhoneedan
oxygentohel pthem br eat
h.Ihavediff
icult
y
breathi
ngandI '
vel ostweightbutIsoldieron,my
chil
d.Irefusedtodi ewhenIhavenotseenyou.You
seenow, Icandi einpeace. ”
,hesaidwithasmi l
e.

Ntombi
:“Don'
tsaythat
,Tata.Nooneisgoi
ngtodi
e.
Youkeeptaki
ngyourmedicineandyou'
l
lbefi
ne”

Tata:“Haveyouseenhowmuchyoul ookli
keyour
mot her?Wellgoodthingtoo,
you'
dhavebeenan
ugl
ygi r
lhadyoulookedlikeme”,
hej
okedtryi
ngto
notf ocusonhissickness.
Ntombi:“
Ar eyouevensupposetol
ookaft
ercows,
Tata.Whosecowsar eyoutaki
ngcareof
?Can't
theyseethatyouareol
dandsick”

Tata:It'smyl ivestock.Mysel fandsomemi nersgot

aset t
lementf rom themi nef ort hesi l
icosis.I twas
enoughf ormet obui l
dt hishousef oryouandyour
sibli
ngs, tobuyal otandsomecows.I 've; l
eftitall
foryouandyourbr otherandsi ster.IevenhadaWi l
l
done, sot herewoul dbenoconf li
ctbet weenyou
three.Ineveroncef orgotaboutyou, Nt ombi .You
areinal lmypl ans.Iknowyousai dyou' llgobackt o
yourgr andpar entshousebutpl easevi sitoften..I
willdor ightbyt hem.Iwi llhonort hem wi t
ht he
l
obol at heydeser vef orrai si
ngagr eatwoman.I
hopet hatyoudonothat emeandyourmot herfor
thechoi cewemade.Wewer ei nl ove,Nt ombi .I
l
ovedherf r
om t hesecondIsawher .Wechosel ove,
mybabyandIwon' tpr etendl ikeIr egreti t
.Ourl ove
gaveusyou, Ican'tregr eti t
.Iwi llworkwi thyour
grandf atherbecausewebot hwantt oputt histo
rest.Iwillfi
xi t
.Iwi l
lgivethem allmycowsi fneed
bet oshowj usthowsor ryNobandl aandIam.I '
l
l
alsodealwi thNomvul a.Ireallyneverknew,evenif
yourgr andmot herbel i
evesot herwise.Asamanyou
trustthewomant olookaf terthi
ngsathome, that
i
ncl udest hechildren,cookingandcl eani
ng,while
yougogetf ood.Iputsomucht rustinNomvula
wi t
hyout hatIdisnotseeaneedt oquesti
onher
care.Iwi shyout rustedmeenought ospeakup.”

Ntombi:“I
'm notaskingyout ol
eaveyourwife,Tat
a.
Ij
ustwantar ealapol
ogyf r
om her.Iwantherto
admiteveryt
hi ngbutitseemsI'
llhavetofor
givea
personthati
snotevensor r
y”
Tata:Ibel
ieveyouandifIl
eaveher
, i
twillnotbe
becauseofyou.Donotwor r
yaboutthat.OhI '
ve
missedyou.I'm sor
ryIwasnotapresentfather.
”,
hesaidandcr i
ed.

Ntombi:“
It
'sf
ine,
Tat
a”,
Isai
dwhi
lebr
ushi
nghi
s
back.
Wespokef oral ongwhi le.Her emi ndedmeofal l
thehappymoment sweshar edasaf ami lythat
wer ebur ieddeepi nmymemor yduet ot hepai nthat
overshadowedi t
.Itfeelsgoodt obel aughi ngwi t
h
him onceagai n.Hecoughedabi ttoof tenf ormy
l
ikingbuti twasapar tofhi ssickness.Ii tsadt o
heart hatt hissi l
icosi
shasnocur ebutIpr ayt he
treatmentkeepshigoi ngf orlonger .Icannotl ose
himt oo, notnowatl east.Theel der sspokepr ivatel
y
whi l
eIsati nthecarwi thLwazi .Het ol dmeabout
schoolandhi sgi rl
fri
endt hati snotr eallyhi s
girl
fri
endbutwi l
lbesoon.Nol wazi l
ef twi t
hher
mot hert ot heirrelati
ves.It hinkt hevei loverLwazi '
s
eyesf ellof fandhesawhi smot herf orwhoshe
reall
yi sandi tseemsuTat ahast oo.Lwazi tr
iedto
showr espectf orhismom f orusbutIf eelt hathe
l
ostal lrespectf orher.I'
llknowt her easonbehi nd
thatsomeot hert ime.Theel dersf inishedt heir
meet ingandTat asai dhewi l
ltakeust oMama' s
grave.Igoti ntot hecarwi thhi m andLwazit his
ti
meandcoul donl yhopeMakhul uunder stands.We
arri
vedatt hegr aveyar dandwal kedbet weent he
gravesunt ilwegott oMama' sgr ave.Hergr avehad
abeaut if
ult ombst one.WhenIl ef t
,itstil
lonl yhad
anol dwar m outwoodencr osswi thhernameoni t.
Thet ombst onehadhernames, birt
handdeat hdat e
and“ Lovingwi f
e, mot her ,
daught erandsi ster”
writtenoni t.Tomet hatshowedt hatmyf at her
somehowi ncludedherf amilybyacknowl edgi ng
thatshewasadaught erandsi stertot hem.
Makhul ubr okedownagai n.Tat aspokeandt old
Mamat hatwear eher e.Tamkhul uspokef i
rstand
woul doccasi onal l
ywi pehi seyeswi t
hhi scl oth.
Mal umeBandi lesai dsomet hingt ooandsodi d
Makhul u.Theyaskedi fIwant edt osaysomet hing
andal lIsai dis“Iloveyou, Mama” .Tomeherdeat h
i
sol dnewscompar edt oherf ami l
y.I'vehadl onger
togr ievef orher ,event houghI '
m stillgrieving.The
threeoft hem eachputast oneonMama' sgr ave
becauset heywer enotatherf uner al.Tamkhul u
saidhef eltasi fal oadwast akenof fhi sshoul ders.
Het ol dhiswi f
eandsont hatNobandl awi llbel eftto
resther e.It houghtt heywoul df ightbutMakhul u
nodded.Ipr aythatmymot herknowst hatshe' s
for
givenbyherf ami l
ywher eversheis.Ihopet hat
sheknowst hatIdon' thateherforchoosingl ove.I
hopesheknowst hatIdon' thateherforbri
ngi ngme
i
ntoal ovethatisforbidden.Iloveherandi fIever
wast ohavechi l
dren,Iwoul dhavetoldthem about
her.Icoul
df eelt
hepeacemygr andfatherspoke
abouttoo.Ibrushedt hesmoot hdarkgr aymar bl
e
tombstonewi thmyf ingersandsmi l
ed.

Ntombi:“RestnowMaNyawuza,
Faku,Si
gcau,
Bokleni
,Ndamase”.Al
liswel
lwi
thusnow”,Isai
d
withasmi l
e.

Ithenspoiledthemomentbyvomi tingallovermy
ownmot her'
stombstone.Whodoest hat?Makhulu
gavemewat ertori
nsemymout h.Iapologizedso
muchbecauset omei tlooksatthoughI '
vej ust
di
sr espect
edmyl atemot hereveni fIhadnocont rol
overit.Lwazicamewi tha5lit
erbot tlef
il
ledwi t
h
waterf r
om thecarandcpour edi toverthegr avet
o
cl
eani tup.Ifel
tli
kehidingmysel f.Tatareassured
met hatIhavenor easont obeembar rassed.Tr ust
met ovomi tonmymot her '
sgr ave.Icannotgetany
mor ewei rdt hant hissur el
y.Wewentbackt othe
house.Nomvul awasst i
llnotther e.Makhul usaid
shewentt oseeherwi t
chdoct orf orthest rongest
mut imoneycoul dbuy.Ikeptqui etbecauseIdonot
wantt ogossi p,notevenaboutNomvul a.Theday
wentwel l.Ijustwi shmyf atherwasnotsi ck.He' s
stil
ltooyoungf orthisheal thbur den.I tseemshi m
andt heMl anduf ami lymadepeace.I thasnotbeen
aneasyday, butt hankst oTamkhul u'speacef uland
calm nat ure, thingswentof fwithoutanyone
punchi ngt heot herevent hought herewer e
moment sIt houghtMal umewoul dhitmyf ather.
Appar entlyMamaandTat adi dacer emonyt oask
forforgivenessf r
om t heancest orsal ongt imeago
j
ustaf terIwasbor n,sot her ewon' tbeaneedf or
mor e.Goodt hingt heydi d,thet houghtofhavi nga
blackgoatsl aught eredformeasasi gnofshame
didnotsoundl i
kesomet hingIl ookedf orwar dto.
WhatIdon' tremember ,can'thur tme.SoMal ume
Bandi l
ecankeephi sblackgoatf oranot her
occasionbecauseIwast i
redofhi mt elli
ngmet hat
heal
readyhasoner
eady.
[
03/
28,
17:
00]Lynne:TWENTYFOUR

NTOMBI

It'
sbeenamont hsincemyf atherandIr eunitedand
i
thasbeenamont hofbl i
ss.Hehasbeenspoi l
ing
mer otten.AsmuchasIappr eciatethenewcl othes,
smar tphoneandot hermat eriali
sticgoodshehas
gift
edmewi t
h, hispr esencest i
llremai nst he
biggestgi f
t.Goingoutwi thhi m andhavi ngsome
father-
daught ertimehasbeengr eat.Thef actthat
him andmygr andpar entshavemadepeacei sa
bonus.Tat ahonor edt heMl anduf ami l
ywi thlobola
fortheirdaught erevent houghMamadi edyear s
ago.Ithoughthewoul dt ellthem al ltogot ohel l
becausehecl aimst hathef oundaf ami lywi t
ht he
Nyawuzacl annameandpai dl obolat ot hem since
theyaref amilyt omymot her'saccor di
ngt oculture.
Mypar ent shavecl ear l
ydi l
utedourcul tureinor der
tomakei tworkf ort hei rrelat i
onshi p.My
grandf atheraccept edt hel obol abecausehewant s
ust omoveonf rom t heconf l
ictandi tseemsl ikewe
havemadeal otofpr ogr ess.Theonl ypr oblem was
myuncl ewhodemandedmoneyf ordamages.My
fatherhadt oexpl aint hatIwasconcei vedwhen
theywer emar ri
edal ready.Mal umeBandi leheard
aboutmyf ather '
sset tl
ementmoney, soIassume
het houghthe' dtakeadvant age.For tunat ely
Tamkhul uandMakhul uar enotgr eedypeopl eand
didnotseet hingsthewayt heirsondi d.Myf ather
hasbeenaski ngmet ocomeoverf oraweekend
becausesi ncewer euni ted,hehasbeent heone
travelingt oseeme.Makhul usai dnosucht hingwill
happenbecauseNomvul ami ghtpoi sonme, andI
havet hesameconcer nsmygr andmot herhas.Ist il
l
feart hewomanandIknowi fshecoul dki llme
wi t
houtget tingcaught ,she'dt aket hechance.Mr s
BsaysNomvul ami ghtbeanar cissist.Whenshe
explai nedwhatanar ci
ssi stis,Bonga' sper sonalit
y
alsof irt hedescr iption.Nomvul aandBongabl amed
mef orever ything,event hingst hattheywer et o
blamef or.Nomvul ausedt obl amef ort he
argument sshe' dhavewi t
hmyf atherandBonga
usedt obl amemef orhowheusedt oabuseme.
Theyneveroncet ookr esponsi bili
tyfortheirown
actions.Mr sBadvi sedmet osol elyfocusonmy
ownheal ingf ornow.I 'vebeengoi ngt ochur chwi t
h
mygr andpar entsandseei ngmygr andmot heri nher
chur chuni form mademesmi l
ebecausei t
remi ndedmeofmymot her.Wel llookingat
Tamkhul ui nhisr edwai stcoatwasadi ffer
entst ory
becausei tremi ndedmeofLi yema.WhatIf ear
mosti st hechur chhavi ngabi gchur chgat her i
ng
someday, andLi yemaat tendaswel landbef orced
toseemeagai n.I''
'havet ocomeupwi thexcuses
shoul dther ebeabi gnat i
onwi dechur chconf erence
becauseIwoul dnotbecomf ortablewi thbei ngi n
thesamebui l
dingasLi yema.I '
m sur ehewoul dgo
tothef rontandt ellever yonewhatIdi dtohi m.Hei s
nott hetypet ohanghi sdi rtylaundr yforever yone
toseebutangermakesaper sonnotactl i
ke
themsel vessomet i
mes.Icanal readyi magi net he
disappoi ntmentandhumi l
iati
oni twoul dbr ingt omy
grandpar ent s.IshudderwhenIt hinkabouti t.
Tataiscomingt ovisitagaintoday.Ineedt otellhim
tostopspendinghismoneyonme.I 'm st
ill
concernedabouthisheal thbecauseI 'vereadthat
somepeopl ehavedi edfrom si l
icosis.Istoodin
frontoft
hemi rr
orjumpi ngupanddownwhi letrying
togetajeanovermyhi ps.Makhul uwal kedintot he
room toseewhatal lthestumpi ngi sabout .Icould
seeherrefl
ecti
onint hemi rror.Shef oldedherar ms
whi l
ewatchi
ngmest ruggle.I'
m sur eshewi l
ltel
l me
towearaski r
tordressi nstead.

Makhul
u:“
Ntombi
kayi
se”
,shesai
d.

Nt
ombi:“
Iknow,
Makhulu.I
'
llwearadr
ess”
,Isai
d
whi
let
aki
ngthej
eanoff
.

Mkahulu:“Wel
lthatwasnotwhatIwasgoi ngtosay
butyes,wearsomethi
ngelse.Iwasactuallygoing
toaskifthi
swasoneoft hejeansyourfather
boughttwoweeksago? ”
,shesaidwhilelookingat
thetagofthejean.
Ntombi:“
I'
mf at
,Makhulu.Youcansayi t
.Between
al
lofyourwarm homecookedmeal sandthetake
awaysTatabuyswhenhevi si
ts,howcanagi rlnot
getf
at?Ididnotstandachange”,Isai
dwhi l
e
l
ookingforadress.

Makhul
u:“
Wellyouar
egai
ningatar
api
drat
e”,
her
wor
dskindofmademesad.

Ntombi:“I
'
lll
osewei ght.Liye.
..
af r
iendofminehas
shownmehowt oeatwel landI’
lldohome
exer
cisestoo.I
'm sureI’l
lstopfeelingsot
ir
edtoo”
,
shekeptquietandI'm gladbecauseIdon'tli
ke
hear
ingthatI'
mf at.

Makhulu:“
Ntombi
”,shesai
dsof
tl
yandsatdownon
mysinglebed.

Nt
ombi
:“Makhul
u?”
,Il
ookedather
.Shepat
tedt
he
spotbesi
deheronthebed.Iknewshewant
smet
o
si
tnexttoherandIdi
d.

Makhul u:“Thi
sisnoteasyformebutastheonl
y
otherwomani nthehouse,Ihavenochoi
cebutto
tal
ktoyouaboutt his.Di
dyouandthatboysl
eep
together”
,sheasked.Idi
dnotknowhowt oanswer.

Ntombi
:“I
'
m sor
ryf
orl
ett
ingyoudown,
Makhul
u.I
know.
..
”

Makhul u:“No,mybabypleaseIdidnotmeani tl
ike
that.Wellyou'
vebeenwi t
hthisboyforyears
withoutanyoneadvisingyou,soam Icorr
ectin
assumi ngthatyouhavesleptwit
hhim”,shesaid
gentle.Theroom fel
tsosmallandnottoment i
on
hot.

Ntombi
:“Cor
rect
,Makhul
u”,
Isai
dinan
embarr
assedwhisper
.
Makhulu:“
Okay.
..
didyougof orf
amil
yplanni
ngand
usedacondom”,sheasked.Idon'
tknowwhywe
arehavi
ngthebi
rdsandthebeesconversati
on.

Ntombi:“Yes,
Makhulu”
,Il
ied.Wel
litwasnota
completeli
ebecauseBongaandIusedprotect
ion.

Makhul u:“
WellIt
hinksomethinghappenedt hen
thatbrokethebarr
ier
softhepr ot
ecti
onyouwer e
usingbecauseIsuspectthatyoumi ghtbe
pregnant.”
,shesai
dwhilelookingatmybelly.

Ntombi
:“Soaper
soncan'tj
ustgai
nweight
anymor
e,Makhul
u?”
,Iaskedsoundi
ngdefensi
ve.

Makhul u:“Judgi
ngbyhowquicklyyoucover
ed
yourself,
ittel
lsmethatt
her
emi ghtbeapossibi
l
ity.
Isthere?”
Nt
ombi
:“No,
Makhul
u”,
Imumbl
ed.

Makhulu:“
Okaybutshoul
dt her
ebeanythi
ngyou
wanttotel
lme,I
'
m here.
”,shesaidbef
orewal
king
outofmyroom.

Ihavebeenf eelingabi tstrangel atel ybutIknow

I'
m notpr egnant .Li
yemaandIdi dt het estandwe
bothsawt hatitwasnegat i
ve.I t
'sallthehear ty
meal sthatiscausi ngthi s.Ijustneedt ocutdown
ont hemeatanddumpl ingsandeatsal ads.I'
ve
neverbeenski nny,soI'llobviousl ygai nwei ght
quickerthanasl enderper son.Iwi l
laskt heboys
whopl aysocceratt hef iel
di fIcanj ointhem when
theygym.It ookt hedressof fandst oodi nmy
underweari nf rontofthemi rror.Ilookedatmybel l
y
andnot icedt hatmyabdomi nalar eadoesl ookabit
swol l
en,butI '
m sureitisUTI .Ihavet hisbadhabit
ofholdingi nur i
neisI'
m sur emybl adderi sunder
pressure.Mybr eastwer ef eelingabi tsorebutonly
abi t
.I'
m sur eit
'sbecausemyper i
odsi soni t
sway.
Mybodyhasnotbeent hesamesi nceIt ookt hose
hormonaldr ugsforthesur rogacysoI '
m sur eI'
m
sufferi
ngt hesideef f
ects.Knowi nghowmuch
Liyemaval uesqual i
ty,I
'
m sur ehet ookt hebest
homepr egnancyt estsoIt rustandbel ievethe
resultsthet estgaveuswer eaccur at e.Ithast obe
accurat e.Ihear dmydad' svoi ceandqui cklygot
dressagai n.Imademywayt ot hel oungewher ehe
wassi ttingwi thmygr andf ather.Igr eetedandt he
fi
rstthinghesai dwasI '
m gai ningmor ewei ghtand
j
okedt hati t
'sbecauseI'm happy.It houghtabouti t
andt hatcoul dalsobear eason.It oldTat aI'm
readyt ogoandhewasr eady.Tamkhul ut ol
dust o
havef unbutMakhul uhadt obedi fficult.

Makhulu:“Pl
easechangeyourshoes.Ihaveseen
yousli
pandal mostfal
lwhi
lewearingthosetwi
ce.
Theyaretoosli
pperyandwedon'twantt ori
skyou
fal
li
ng.Whoknowswhatyoumi ghtbreak?”
,she
sai
dwhi l
elooki
ngatme.
Tamkhulu:“Ntombiisst
il
lyoungandfresh.I
fshe
fal
ls,
thewor stt
hatcoul
dhappeni sabrui
sedknee
anddirtonherpret
tydress”
,hejokedandthemen
l
aughed.

Makhul
u:“
Please,
mybaby”
,shepl
eadedwhi
lest
il
l
l
ooki
ngatme.

Ihavenodesi r
et oarguewi thher,Ir
eallydonotsoI
didasasked.Iwor esandal sthathadapr oper
rubbersole.Iaskedi fshe'shappywi ththem and
shesai dyesandsmi led.Tataalwaysseemed
excit
edaboutourdat esandI '
m usuall
ythesame
butnott oday.Aftermyt alkwithMakhul u,mymi nd
i
sf l
oodedwi t
hthought s.Ihadt obesurebef oreI
gocr azy.TataaskedwhatIwantt odof ortheday.I
don'treall
yhaveal otofopt ionstochoosef rom.I
askedi fwecoul dgot oaphar macysoIcanbuy
headachet ablet
s.Hedr ovetothelocalphar macy
andIl ookedathi m whiledri
ving.Icouldjustbeme
butIt hi
nkhei slookingmuchbet t
er,healt
hierina
way.Perhapsi
t'smymi ndtri
cki
ngmei nt
oseeing
whatIwant.Hisheal
thsti
llconcer
nsmeandt he
factt
hathehast odr
iveallt
hewayf r
om
Queenstowntoseemewor r
iesme.

Nt
ombi :“
Tat
a,ar
eyousur
eyouar
eal
lowedt
o
dr
ive?
”

Tat
a:“Fort
hemi
ll
iont
hti
meyes”
,hesai
dand
l
aughed.

Nt
ombi
:“Howar
ethi
ngsathome?
”
Tata:“Idon'
twanttobotheryouwi t
hthingst
hat
happent her
e.I
'm actual
lygladyouchosetoli
ve
wit
hyourgr andparentsi
nsteadevenifIwantallmy
chi
ldrenundermyr oof.”

Ntombi:“Nomvulagivi
ngyouahardtime?
”,I
thoughthewouldscoldatmeforcal
li
nghiswif
eby
nameandnotsayi ngMaorsomet hi
ng.
Tata:“Icanhandl eher ,
mygi rl.Shethi
nksthatIwi
ll
feeli
nt i
mi dat
edbyherbutshei swrong.Ihat
ethat
shehast hischi
ld..
.uhm. .
.Nolwaziunderher
i
nf l
uence.Thatchi l
di slosingrespectforme
becauseshel i
stenstohermot her.Atl
eastLwazi
sti
llrespectsme. ”

Ntombi
:“I
fyouarenothappywi
thyourmar
ri
age
t
hewhydon'tyouleave?
”

Tat
a:“
Soshecoul
dgethal
fofever
ythi
ng?
”

Ntombi:“
She'syourwif
e,Tat
awhetheryouli
keitor
not.Soyou'
dratherr
emainwithhert
hanlosesome
ofyourmoney?”

Tata:“
Thatmoneyisformychildr
en.I
t'
sforyou
thr
ee.Wear emorel
ikehousematesanyway.Ino
l
ongersleepint
hatbedroom”,
hesaidandlooksli
ke
heregret
sovershar
ing.“
Whenyougetmar r
iedone
day,makesureyouknowt heper
sonyouget
marri
edto,mychil
d.Thatisal
lI'
'sayaboutmy
marri
agefornow.I'
l
lfi
xit
.

Nt
ombi :“
Lwazisianiceboy.Sowar
m and
af
fect
ionate”
,webothsmiled.

Tata:“Hei sandsoi sNol wazi, shehasj ustbeen

poisonedbyhermot her.Whati sdi ff
erentbet
ween
them isthatLwazii sobser vant.Heneedsnotbe
toldwhatt olookoutf or,hesilent l
ysitsandobserve
andseet hi
ngsast heyar e.Nol wazi i
sonewho
believesthingsshei stoldbyot herandmost l
ythey
feedherf alseinf
ormat i
onbutt heyar ebothgood
kids,theytakeaftertheirbigsist er
”,hiswordslef
ta
bigsmi leonmyf ace.

Wearrivedatt
hepharmacyandwentourdif
fer
ent
ways.TatawantedtocomewithmebutItol
dhim
i
t'
sforgirl
ymatter
s.Afr
icanmenusual
lyshyaway
from “ gi
rlymat ter”.Idon' tevenknowi ft heyknow
whatt hatmeansorwhatgi rl
yt hingsi nvol vebut
theydon' tli
kebei ngapar tofsuch.Hewentt oget
someoi nt mentf orLwazi 'skneet hatgoti njured
whi leplayingr ugbyatschool .Iaskedf ort heai sle
wi t
ht hepr egnancyt est sandwentt oit.Ilooked
aroundl i
keaper sonwhosei nt enti
onsar et ost eal
.I
l
ookedatal ltheopt i
onsi nfrontofmewhi leIbitmy
nails.Idon' tusual lybitemynai l
sbutI 'm aner vous
wr eck.Isawonet hatlookedi dent i
calt ot heone
Liyemabought .It ooki tandanot heronef r om a
differentbr and.Il ookedar oundt oseei fmyf ather
i
satt het il
lpoi ntsbutsawhi ml ookingatot herstuff
.
Ialmostr ant ot hecount ertopay.Iputt hepl asti
c
wi t
ht het estsi nmyhandbagandwai tedf ormy
fatherbyt heexi t.Hef inishedwi thhi spur chaseand
wewentt ot hecar .Ifelti l
lbef oreourdayeven
begun.PoorTat aunder stoodandt ookmehome.
Hest ayedatt hehousef orhour sandevenhel ped
Tamkhul uwi t
hsomechor esout side.Makhul uandI
cookedl unchf ort hef ami ly.Iwi shMamawasher e
toseehowwel comedandcomf ort
abl eherhusband
i
satherpar entshouse.Themoodbet ween
Makhul uandIwasabi tawkwar d.IthinkIwas
tr
yinghar dtoactmadl ikeI'
m madatherf or
assumi ngthatI'm pregnant .Thedaywentby
quicklyandi twasni ghtbef or eweknewi t
.I ’
m
wor r
iedaboutt hef actthatmysi ckf atherr et
ur ni
ng
toahousewher elovenol ongerexi stsbet weenhi m
andhi swifeandt hatthechi ldrenaref orcedt o
choosesi des.I'
mt r
yingmybestt onott akeon
anyone'spr obl
emsbecauseMr sBadvi sedi tbut
howcoul dInotwheni t'
sf atherwhoi sisi nvolved
andhei snotwel lenought otakeonst ress.

Makhulumadel atenightteafort
het woofus.Her
husbandwor kedwayt omuchdur ingtheday,sohe
wenttobedear ly.Theyusuallygot obedround
aboutthesamet i
mebutMakhul ulookedli
keshe
hasnoi nt
entionsofjoiningherhusbandanyt i
me
soon.Ithi
nkshewant smet oconf esstobei
ng
pregnantbutIcan'tbecauseI'm not.Ihavenot
takenthetestsyet,t
herewasnot i
met o.Wesaton
thecouchwat chingacomedyshowbutnei t
herof
usarelaughing.Idon'tknowwher eIf oundthe
couragetot ellheraboutmyhomepr egnancyt est
purchase, butIdi d.Ithoughtshewoul dbeupset
becauseIdeni edanypossi bil
ityofmebei ng
pregnantwhenshespokeabouti t.Iaskedi fIcoul d
takethetest snowandshesai dyes.Apar tofme
feel
slikeshei sr ect i
fyi
ngt hemi stakesshemade
withmymot herthroughme.Sher evealedt hatshe
andmymot herdi dnothaveacl oser elat
ionshi p.
Mamapr eferredt alki
ngt oherf ather.Ithink
Makhul udoesnotwantt hatwi t
hmeandt hatis
whyshei skeepi ngsocal m andbei ngsuppor t
ive.
Wellwhat everherr easonsmaybe, I'
m grat eful.I
can'ti
magi nehowhor r
ibl
ebei ngal onewoul dhave
beenwhenI 'mf eelingsoaf r
aid.Thi sisnonor mal
sit
uation.

Idisappearedi
ntothebat hr
oom andpeedonbot h
sti
ckswi t
houthavingreadtheinstr
ucti
onsbecause
I'
vedonei tbef
ore.Iwalkedwit
ht hem i
nhandtomy
bedroom whereMakhul uiswaiti
ng.Shestoodfrom
thebedassoonasIwal kedinandaskedwhatt he
result
sare.Ihadtoexplaintoherthatweneedto
waitforabout5mi nutesfir
st.Thet woofussaton
thebedwai t
ingtoseewhatt heseplasti
cst i
cks
havetosay.Myhandsar eshaki ng,butMkahul u
heldthem steadyinher s.Shekeptonsayi ngthat
shewi llnotbedisappointedshoul ditbepositive,
thatsheandTamkhul uwouldhel pmer aisethe
baby.Iwi shitwast hatsimple,butItisnot.The
phonebeepedandIt oldherthatit'
stimet ocheck
whatt hetestssay.Shet ookt hem outofhergown' s
pocketandgavet hem tome.Icoul dnotfinditin
met olookatt hem.Makhul ul ookedatthe
pregnancyt estsandlookedatme.

Makhulu:“Theboxsaidifi
t'
stwost
ri
pes,
iti
s
posi
ti
ve.Bot hhavet
wost ri
pes,
mybaby”
,herwor
d
l
eftmef eel
ingli
ghtheaded.

Ntombi:“
LiyemaandIsawt hef
ir
sttestwithour
owneyes,Makhuluandi twasnegati
ve”,Isai
dwhil
e
l
ookingatthetest
shopingthatMakhuluhad
pr
oblemswi thhervi
sionforasecond.
Makhul u:“Sohisboy'
snamei sLiyema?Didyou
twowantt hechi
ld?Howwer eyougoingtobri
nga
chil
dintot heworldwhenhewasbeat i
ngyou,
Ntombi ?”,
sheasked.Inevertoldt
hem Bonga'
s
name, onlywhathehaddonet ome.

Ntombi:“I
'
m sor
ry,Makhul
u”,Isai
dsof
tl
yand
sobbed.Sheputherar
msar oundme.

Makhul u:“I
'm notevenangr yatyou.Wewi llbehere
allthewayunt ilyourli
ttl
eonei sbornandwewi l
l
raisethebabyt ogether.Wecant ellyour
grandfatheranytimeyouf eelreadyorifyouwantI
cant el
lhim mysel f
.Wel oveyou, Ntombikayise.I
'm
sur eyourfat
herwi llal
sohel p.Afterhearingwhat
thatboydi dtoyou, Idon'twanthi m anywher enear
you.Di dyousayt hatwhenyout ookat estinhis
presenceitwasnegat i
ve? ”,
sheasked.
Nt
ombi
:“Yes,
Makhul
u”,
Inodded.

Makhulu:“Okayt hatmeanshedoesnotknowyou
arepregnant.Idon' tt
hinkyoushouldlethim know.
Thelastthingachi ldneedsisat oxi
cfather.Iknow
thatwhatI'm sayingisnotrightbutIcan'ti
magi ne
thatboyyoudescr i
bedbeinginyouandyourbaby' s
l
ifewithallhi
st oxicit
y”

Ntombi
:“Youdon'tunder
stand,Makhul
u.I
tismuch
morecompli
catedthanthat”
,Isai
dwhil
eholdi
ngon
t
ohermor et
ightl
y.

Makhul
u:“
Compl
icat
edhow?
”

Ntombi:“
Iwil
lloset
hechildsoonanyway.Iwasso
surei
tdidnotwork.
”,Isai
dsofty.SheaskedwhatI
meantbylosethechi
ld.Iexpl
ainedtheissueofmy
womb.
Makhul u:“Doyouknowt hatl ongagoapr egnant
womanhadherownspeci aldiet
?I twasr i
chin
nutri
ents.Ihaveallmygr andmot her'sreci
pes.She
hadt welvechil
dren,allheal thy.Thewomani nmy
familyandyourgr andfather '
shaveneverst ruggl
ed
togivebi r
thtohealthybabi es.Youcomef rom a
l
ongl ineofstrong,healthyandf ertil
ewomen.Iwi l
l
makesur eyoueatright,wewi l
lprayandwewi ll
takeyout othoseexpensi vedoct ors,evenifTata
hast osellafewcowst odoso. ”

Ntombi
:“Doyouwanttobedi
vor
ced?
”,webot
h
l
aughedwhil
ecryi
ng.

Makhulu:“Haveyounotreali
zedhowyou'vegot
him wrappedaroundyourfi
nger?Canyouimagi
ne
theeff
ectagreatgrandchi
ldwoulddo?”

Ntombi:“
It
'sst
il
lnotassi
mpl
easthat
,Makhul
u.
Therei
sjustsomuchaboutt
hechi
ld'
sfat
hert
hat
youneedtoknow.”
Makhulu:“Letustal
kwhenwehavepr ocessedthi
s.
I'
veprocesseditandI;m happy.Idon'
twantt ol
ieto
you.Thiswillbemyf i
rstgreatgr
andchil
d.How
manywomendoyouknowwhocansayt heymet
thei
rgreatgrandchi
ld?”

Ntombi:“Makhulu,
thi
schil
disnotmychil
d.It
'snot
yourgreatgr
andchil
deit
her.
”,shel
ookedatmelike
I'
velostal
lsenses.

Makhul u:“Getsomesleep.Ihadeasypr egnanci

es
butIhear dsomewomenwoul dgetconf usedduri
ng
pregnancy.Thatisyourchil
d,itisi
nsideofyou.I
willremindyouaboutthisconversat
ionandwewi l
l
l
aughandhowsi ll
ypr
egnancyi smakingyou
al
ready.Iloveyou.Goodnight,Ihopethetwoofyou
willsleepwell
.”,
shesaidwithasmi l
eonherf ace.

Nt
ombi
:“Makhul
u,pl
easedon'
tgetat
tachedt
oa
babyt
hatwi
llnotst
aywi
thus.
”

Makhul u:“
PleasesleepNtombi.Wewil
ltal
k
tomorrow.Youwi llmakesensetomorr
owbecause
nowyouar enot.Ithi
nki
tstheshockofthenews.
Getrest.”

Shedi dnotgi vemeachancet oexpl ai nbutIdonot

blameher .I'
m pregnantwi thachi l
dt hatisnotmine
tokeep.HowdoIexpl ai
nt ooldpeopl et hatI
'm
pregnantbutt hechildwillbet akenf rom usassoon
asi tsbor n.EvenTat awi l
lnotunder st andthi
s.How
canIst opt hem from bondi ngwi ththechi ldtosave
them hear tbreak?WhywasLi yema' st estnegati
ve?
Wasi texpi red?Dot heyevenexpi re?HowdoIknow
thatit'snotmi nethathaveexpi red?Thi sisasmal l
placedoi tmi ghtbepossi ble.IfI'mt hisfatnow,
howwi l
lIlooki nafewmor eweeks?WhydoIeven
bot herwi thsucht houghtswhenImi ghtmi scarr
yin
af ewweeks?Ihavegot tenmysel fintoadeepmess
andIdonotknowhowt of ixit
.Whydi dInottell
Bongat ogot ohel lwhenhet oldmet odot hi
s,call
MrsBandaskt hatshehel pmecomeher e?
Makhul uthinksLi yemai sBonga, i
fonl ysheknew
howdi ff
erentthet woar e.Li
yemaf oundoutt hatI
connedhi m butneverevenswor eatme.Bongahi t
mef ortryi
ngt ol ovehi m.Theycoul dnotbet he
sameeveni ftheyt ried.I'
m notsur ewhatMakhul u's
maternitydietinvol vesbutIt rustshewi llnotfeed
mepoi sont hatwi llputmy. .
.Liyema; sbabyatr isk.
I'
m notsur ehowmygr andfatherwi l
lfeelabout
sell
ingsomeofhi scowst opr ivatedoct orsbuthe
doesnothavet o.I '
llgotost ateheal thcar ecent ers.

Itookmynewphone, hidemycal l
erdet ail
sand
dial
edLi yema'snumber .Imemor izeditforsome
oddr eason.Thephoner angandIcoul dhearmy
heartbeat.Iknewhewoul danswerpr i
vatecal
ls
becausehei sabusi nessownerbutIwasnotsur e
i
fhewoul danswersol ateatnight.“Hello”
,hesaid
i
nadeepsl eepyvoice.Ihavewokenhi m up.He
keptsayingHel l
ountilheendedt hecal l
.Idon'
t
knowwhathappened.Myt onguef el
tsti
ffand
unabl etomovei nor dertospeak.I '
m gl adIwas
mut e.Whatwoul dIhavet oldhi m?“ Hey, Liyemai t
's
meNt ombi.Thegi r l
whot ri
edt oconyouandohby
thewayI '
m pregnant ,youcancomet akeyourbaby
i
naf ewmont hs?”.Ther ewi llnotevenbeababy
anyway.Il oveMakhul ubutdoct orsar egoodandi f
theysayIshoul dnotgetpr egnantduet ot hebrui
se
i
nmywombt hent heywer enotf ooli
ngar ound.I
haveal lowedani nnocentchi l
dt obeputi nmy
rott
enwombt hatwoul dnotbesui t
abl eforhimt o
grow.I fdoctor'
scoul dnotf i
xme, mygr andmawho
i
snotevenat radit
ionalheal erst andsnochance.
I'
m gladIdi dnotut terawor dwhenIcal ledLiyema
becauseIwoul dhavemadehi ml ookf orwardtoa
babyt hatwi l
lneverbe.Hebel ievest hatthe
surrogacyf ai
ledsowhenIl oset hebaby, hewon't
evenknow.I '
veputhi mt hroughsomuchal r
eady.I
owei ttohimt ospar ehimt hepai nofl osinghis
unbor nchildbeforeevenmeet inghim.Iwon' teven
tel
lmygr andmot herwhatImeantwhenIsai dit
's
notmybabybecauset herewon' tbeababyaf ew
days, weeksormont hs.I'
llagr eewi t
hherwhenshe
tel
lsmeaboutal lthet hi
ngsIsai dwhi le“confused”.
SheknowsmywombI snotst rongenought ocarry
achildbutshedoesnotneedt oknowhowt hechil
d
wasconcei vedandhowhewoul dneverhave
knownt hem shouldhehavebeenbor n.I'
m
pregnantwithachildthatisbiologi
call
ymi ne,buti
s
notmi nelawful
ly.Achil
dthatst andsnochance
becauseofmycondi t
ion.IwishMakhul u
understoodwhenIt ol
dheri t
'scompl i
cated.I
wonderi fIwil
leverhavemyl ifeinorder
?
[
03/
28,
17:
02]Lynne:TWENTYFI
VE

LI
YEMA

Thereisnothi
ngIhat emor ethanreceivi
ngcal l
s
l
ateatnightfrom aprivatenumberonl yf orthat
persontokeepquiet.Ialwaysanswercal lsbecause
theycouldbebusinessr elatedbutIthinkthe
personwhohasbeencal lingiseitherboredorthey
l
ikethesoundofmyvoi ce.Ihadnochoi cebutt obe
rudethelastt
imebyt elli
ngt hemyst er
ycal l
erthat
I'
m notthei
rfool
.Itseemst hattheygotthe
messagebecauseIhavenotr eceivedacal lsince.
Vusicl ai
mst hatIhaveast alkerbutI '
m wayt o
bor ingt ohaveast alker.Ithasbeenadecentcoupl e
ofweeks.I '
vegonebackt ochur chandI ’vef eltmy
angergodownabi t
.Waynehasbeensuf feri
ng
publ icscr ut inyf orhi scheat ingways.Idon' tthink
peopl er eal izet hepai ncheat ingcausest ot heone
theyar einar elati
onshi pwi th.Ihavenopr oblem
witht heLGBTIcommuni t
y, butIcr ingewheneverI
thinkaboutwhatWaynedi dt ohi swi fe.Whydi dhe
notj ustl eaveher ,comeoutasgayandl i
vehi sl i
fe?
Nowt hewi fei ssuf feri
ngt hehumi l
iationasmuch
ashei sandnott oment i
ont hechi l
dr en.Somet imes
par entsbr eakt heirownchi ldr enwi t htheiract i
ons.
I'
vebeent ryingt of i
ndt his“ DeBongz”char acterbut
Iwasunsuccessf ul.I'm suret her atmadesur et o
hidei nt hedeepest ,darkesthol eaf terwhathedi d.
Per hapshei swi thhi sgirl
friendNt ombiwher ever
hei spl ayi ngBonni eandCl i
deanddest r
oyi ngyet
anot herper son'slife.Isuspectt hatmymot herhas
got tenmor eat tachedt oNt ombit hanIr ealized.
WhenIt ol dheraboutt hecal ls,shesai dmaybei t'
s
Ntombit ryingt oapol ogizebuti sscar ed.Idonot
giveadamnaboutNt ombinorherapol ogi
es.I'
ve
movedonf r
om thesill
ycrushIhadonheraswel l.I
shouldactuall
ythankthisDeBongzguybecause
hadhenotr att
edonNt ombi,Imighthaveaskedher
outonadat e.Sheseemedl ikeawomanIwoul d
havelikedtogettoknowbet ter
.Ihavenothadt hat
feel
ingsinceIleftZi
ngi.Somethingaboutme
attr
actsthesetoxicwomen.Ori sitmewhoi s
attr
actedtothem?

I'
vebeendr owningmysel fi
nmywor klatelyandit
hasbeenpayi ngof f.Mor ecl i
ent shavesignedwi th
usandwehaveanewpr ogram t othecompany.
VusiandIhavedeci dedt ot akeoneort wost udent
s
from aTVETcol leget odot hei rexperi
entialt
raini
ng
wi t
hus.Ihadt oconvi ncemypar tnerabitbecause
hehadconcer nsaboutt hecompanynotbei ngable
topaythest udentsf orthe18mont hstheywi llbe
wi t
hus.Fortunatelywedonothavet owor r
yabout
thatbecausethecol legewi llber esponsiblefor
payingthei
rstipends, allthatweneedt odoi sget
them ament orsfrom ourst affwhowi llgivethem
theon-the-jobt rai
ningt hattheyneedandal somake
surethattheyhavepr operr esour cest odot hei r
work.Ever yonewhoknowsme, knowst hatyout h
developmenti scloset omyhear t,sowhent he
coll
egepeopl ecamet ous, Ididnott hinktwice
beforesayi ngyes.I '
veneverst udi edataTVET
coll
egebutI 'veheardt hatitismor edi ffi
cultfor
them tofindwor kthani tist ouniver sitystudent s,
sotomehel pingthem mademor esense.Vusi
agreedtoi toncondi t
iont hatIhandl eever ything
becausehedoesnothavet imet o“ holdnochi ld's
hand”becausehehasbet terthingst odo.Idon' t
knowi fIwi llbeabletopul litoffbutI '
m upf ort he
chall
engeandI '
veselect edagr eatt eam from our
employeest obehandson.

Todaywear ehavingameet i
ngwi t
hthestudent
developmentteam f r
om t hecoll
ege.Theyhadno
problem wi
thcomi ngt oourof fi
cesandwemade
suretopreparewel lf
ort hem.Iwantt hem tosee
thatthei
rstudentswi l
llearnplentywithusand
perhapsevenenj oytheirtimeher e.Vusihasgone
withhisassistanttoseeacl i
ent .Iknowi tshisway
ofnotwant ingt obeapar toft hi
smeet ing.People
oftenaskwhyIpar tneredwi t
hhi m becausehei s
“ir
responsible”buttheydonotknowhi m aswel las
Ido.Theyknowwhathewant st hem toknowand
sof arhehasonl yr
evealedhi sjokersi det omost.
Wheni tcomest obusinesshei saf orcet obe
reckonedwi thandourper sonaliti
esgowel l
together.Wef ightl
ikeallbusinesspar tnersand
bestf r
ienddobuthei smyboyandIwoul dnot
havegot tenintobusinesswi thanyoneel sebuthim.
.

Myt eam andIsati ntheboardroom wai t

ingforour
visi
torst oarri
ve.Il ookedaroundatt hefouryoung
peoplesi tt
ingar oundt heboardroom t ablewithme
andf eelproud.Someoft hem grewi nbusi nessso
quickly.Theyar er eadytoshowt henextgener ati
on
ofprof essionalshowi ti
sdone.It houghtt hey
woul dt el
lmet hatt heywerenotr eadyf orthe
responsi bi
lit
yoft raini
ngstudents, yetheretheyare,
readyf orit.I
'mt hankGodf orenabl i
ngmysel fand
Vusit heabi l
it
yt ogivepeoplejobs.Theycanput
foodont hei rtablesbecauseofusandnot hing
war msmyhear tmor e.Ipr ayt hatwegr owandbe
ablet ogi vet heTVETst udent sper manent
empl oymentt oooncet hei rtrainingi sdone.I '
m sure
theywi l
lexcelher e.Ourr ecept i
oni stwal kedi n
sayi ngthepeopl ef r
om t hecol l
egehavear rived
already.It ol
dhert ol etthem t hrough.Myt eam and
Ilookedateachot herwi thbr ightsmi l
esonour
faces.Ist oodt owel comeourf utur epar t
ner s.A
gent lemanwal kedi nandIshookhi shandand
i
nt roducedmysel fandmyt eam.Hesai dhis
colleaguei sonherway, shef or gotsomet hingi nthe
carandhadt ogobackf ori t.Ihadnopr obl em wi t
h
that, afewmi nutesofmyt imewi llnotbeapr oblem.
Thet eam of feredhi mr efreshment swhi lewai ting.
Hiscol l
eaguef inallywal kedt ryingt ocat chher
breat h,shehascl ear l
ybeenr unni ng.Ist oodt ogo
greether , herweavewascover ingherf ace.She
fi
xedherhai randgoti toutofherf aceandIwi sh
shehadnot .Zingisast oodi nf r
ontofmel ooki ng
shocked.MrTom st oodandi ntroducedher .Ihadt o
bepol i
te,soIext endedmyhandt ogr eether .
Zingi sahasal waysl ovedbeaut yenhancer sbutshe
l
ooksdi fferent .Theweaveshehadonherhead
almostt ouchedherbehi nd.Herski nl ooksmuch
paler,coul dshehavebl eachedherski n?Iknowi t'
s
atrendl at ely.I'm notanexper tonmakeupbutI 'm
sureshewentover boar dabi t
.Shel ooksl i
keadol l.
Iaskedt hatwegett ot hebusi nessoft heday
becauseIhadot herappoi ntment s.Themeet ing
wentwel landwaspr oduct i
ve.I'
m gl adshewas
abletobepr ofessional.Wedeci dedt ot aket hree
student s.TwoMar ketingst udent ssi ncewear ea
medi aandadver ti
singcompany, theywi llgetheaps
ofexper ience.Weal sot ookaManagement
Assistantone, shewi l
lbewor kingcl osel ywi thour
receptioni standourof fi
ceAdmi nistrationst aff,
I'
m
suretheywi llalsogetal otofexper i
ence.MrTom
askedi fZi ngi saandIar er elatedbecauseoft he
surname.Iwashopi ngnoonewoul daskbecause
nowwewi llbef orcedt ogobackandspeakabouta
ti
meIwoul dr atherforget .Itoldthem t hatweused
tobemar ried.Icoul dseenooneexpect edthat
answerbecauseonewoul dnevert ellthatIshar eda
bedwi tht hi swoman.Themeet i
ngcamet oanend
andIwentt omyof f
icer i
ghtaway.Someone
knockedandIt oldthem tocomei n.Zi ngisawalked
i
nwi thherveryhighheel s,par
adingherwayt omy
desk.Sheaskedi fshecoul dsitandal lofme
wantedtotellherthatIdonotwantmor eofheron
myof fi
cefurni
turebutt hatwouldhavesounded
pett
yandi mmat ure,soIlethersit.Isweart hi
s
womanhadsomeki ndofpl asti
csur gerydone.She
madesmal ltalkandIt oldhertocutt hecr apand
gettothepoint.I
t'srudebutIdon' thavet imefor
thi
s.

Zingi
:“Look,I'
m her
ebecauseIwantedyoutoknow
thatIdi
dnotknowt hatt
hisi
syourcompany.When
IsawMrL. Elephantonthecompanyfi
leMrTom
has,Ididnotthinki
tcouldbeyou.Imeanwhatare
theodds?”,shesaidwithasmil
e.

Liyema:“Idon'
tknowwhattheoddsar ebutthey
seemst obeagainstme.Okay,
Ibelieveyou.CanI
gobackt oworknow?”,Isai
dsarcasti
call
y.
Zingi
:“Liyemaplease,wewi l
lbewor kingtogether
.
MrTom' sworkasfarasthispr ojectisconcern
endedwhenyouagr eedtoaccommodat eour
students.Ever
ythi
ngthatinvolvest hesestudents
aremyr esponsibi
li
ty,
sowhenyouhavequest i
ons
aboutthem youwi l
lhavetogot hroughme. ”,she
saidalmostpleadi
ng.

Liyema:“Li
keMrTom Iwi l
lnotper
sonallybe
i
nvolvedwiththestudents.Ihavepeoplewhowi ll
behandsonwi t
hthem andt heywil
lbet heonest o
keepintouchwithyou,onlyifneedbewi l
lthey
comet ome.Wasyourmi ndevenpr esentint he
meetingbecausewedi scussedthi
s? ”

Zi
ngi
:“Stoptr
yingt
opuni
shme.Howmanyt
imes
mustIsaysorr
y?”

Liyema:“
Ohshi t
”,Isai
dwhi lerubbi
ngmyf acewit
h
myhands.“ Zi
ngisa,t
hishasnot hi
ngtodowi t
hus.
I'
m aCEO, Ihat
et oputitl
ikethisbutIr
eal
lyhave
muchbet t
erthingstodot hant rainthesest udents.I
haveateam Ihavedel egatedthi sto,muchl ikeMr
Tom didwithyou.I'm sorr
yt otellyout hi
sbuti thas
nothi
ngtodowi t
hyou.DoIwantt owor kwithyou?
HeckNo!Butt hathonest l
ythisisaboutmebei ng
oneofthepeopl einchargeofbr i
ngingi nbusiness
andnottrai
nst udents.Myt eam isgr eat,you'l
lwork
wellwit
hthem. ”,
Isaidtryi
ngnott osoundas
annoyedasIf eel.

Zi
ngi:
“SoIhavetocal
lyourt
eam ofmentor
swhenI
wanttot
alkaboutt
heproj
ect
,andnotyou?”

Li
yema:“ Youwi l
lcallmyt eam shoul danyproblems
oranyissuesr el
atedt othem andt heirwor
kcomes
up.I
nmat t
ersconcer ningtheprojectasawhol e,
myselfandMrTom wi l
ldealwithit.Justas
di
scussedi nthemeet ingtenmi nutesago”

Zi
ngi
:“Don'
tmakemef
eel
dumb.
”
Liyema:“Igi
veup.Ineedt
ogetbackt
owor
k.Can
youpleaseexcuseme.”

Zingi
:“IknowIhur
tyou,Liyemabutyoucan'
that
e
mef orwhatIdi
dforever
.”
, herwor
dsmademeso
angry.

Liyema:“
Pleasel
eave.Myt
eam wi
llbei
ntouchwi
th
you.”,
Ior
dered.

Zi
ngi
:“IcheatedandIknownowitwasami
stake.
HowlongwillIhavet
osufferf
or.
..
”

Liyema:“Don'tyoudar eactasifyouonl ydi

di tonce.
Youf uckencheatedonmeandIf orgaveyoubut
youcont i
nued.Youj ustdi
dnotf eelli
keyou'vehurt
meenoughsoyout hought“ohletmemakei tworse
byhavi ngsexwithtwomeni nourbedatt hesame
ti
mewhi l
ehei souttryi
ngtomakeal ivi
ngforus”,I
sai
dwi
thanger
.Thi
swomanhassomedamnner
ve.

Zi
ngi
:“I
'
m di
dnotmea.
..
”
Li
yema:“
GO!”
,Isai
dwhilepoint
ingatt
hedoor
.My
handi
sshaki
ngbecauseI'
m angry.

Zi
ngi
:“I
'
m sor
ryf
orhur
ti
ngyouwi
thmycheat
i.
..
”

Li
yema:“Youknowthatyoudi
dwaymor
ethanj
ust
cheatonme.Youdestr
oyedme”

Sheshedacr ocodi l
etearortwobef orewal ki
ngour
ofmyof fi
ce.Icl osedthedoorandpunchedt he
cushiononthecoucht hatwasinthecor nerofmy
offi
ce.Thener veoft hi
swoman.Af t
erf orgivi
ngher
whenIf i
rstfoundoutabouthercheat i
ngshewent
on.Icanneverf orgett
hedayIcaughtheri nbed
withtwomen.Icannotevendescr ibet het hi
ngsI
foundthem doi ngt oeachother.If
eelsi ckjustby
remember i
ngi t.Whohasanor gyint heirmar i
tal
bed?Isatinmyof f
iceforhour s.Ididnottakeany
call
sandpost ponedmymeet i
ngs.Icannotmeet
upwi t
hpeopl ewhenI '
mt hisway.Ther eceptioni
st
call
edmyof f
icetosaymymot herisaskingtosee
mebutIt oldhertolieandsayI '
mi nameet i
ng.
Vusicamebackt otheof f
icewhent hedaywas
almostover.Myboysecur edsomenewbusi ness
anditisgreattoheargoodnewsaf tert
heshittyday
I'
vehad.Itoldhim allaboutitandhecoul dnot
beli
eveit
.

Vusi
:“Icantakeovert
hisst
udentthi
ngifyouwant
”,
hesai
dwhi l
elooki
ngatthestudentf
il
e.

Li
yema:“ Andmakeherthinkshecancomeand
contr
olmei nmyownbusi ness?Heckno!”AnywayI
won'tevenhavetodealwithher
.Ican'
tletherst
and
i
nt hewayofthesekidsfutur
e,man”

Vusi:“
Butshei
sstandi
ngi
nthewayofyouand
yourpeaceofmi
nd.”
Li
yema:“If
eell
ikel
if
eist
esti
ngme.Fir
stt
hisdamn
sur
rogacyandnowmyexi sbacki
ntown”

Vusi:“You'
veovercomewor se, manf arwor se.I'm
proudofyouf orkeepi ngitpr ofessional.Ihavea
confessiontomake.Iki ndaknewshe' sbacki n
townbutnotbyseei ngher .Amut ualfr
iendon
Facebookl i
kedherpi cture.Cur iosit
ymademe
checkoutherpr ofi
le.She' splast i
cnow.Al lshe
needsi sajobatoneoft her etailshopsasa
mannequi nbecauseshe' sdol l
edup, l
it
erall
y”, Idon'
t
knowhowt hisi
diotmanagest omakemel augh
evenwhenIdon' twantt obutwel aughedhar d.

Li
yema:“
You'
reandi
diot
.”

Vusi
:“That
'sbecauseI
'vebeenar
oundyou,idi
otof
t
heyearforfart
oolong”,webot
hlaughed.
Li
yema:“
Thanks,
man”
,weshookhands.

Vusi
:“Nhat
hankyou,
manf
orbei
ngacoolguy”

Li
yema:“
Yeahyou'
rer
ight
,thankme”
,wel
aughed.

Hegavemet hedet ai
lsofhi smeet i
ng.Ourbusi ness
seemst obegoi ngfrom str engthtostrength.I
beli
evedZi ngisawhenshesai dshehadnoi deathat
Iwaspar towneroft hecompanybecauset hel ast
ti
meshesawmeIwasst i
llal awyeratmyf ather'
s
fi
rm.Ist udi edlawbutI 'veneverbeeni nlovewi t
hit.
Istudiedi tbecausemyf athermademepi ctur ethi
s
beautifulpictureofuswor ki ngsidebysi deathi s
l
awf i
rm.“ Elepahntandsons”hewoul dsay
becausehet ri
edt ogetbot hmeandmyl it
tl
e
brothert olovel aw.Lungi l
eonl yl
astedamont hasa
l
awst udentbef oredr oppingout ,
atleastI
graduat edbutwhenIst oppedseeki ngappr oval
fr
om myf atherIwentt opur suemyowndr eams.
I'
m al awgr aduatewi t
hapassi onformedia.It hink
myf atherneverf orgavemef orchoosi ngt odomy
thi
ngandf ordivor cinghi sol dtimef ri
end' s
daught er.Thef ami l
iesknowaboutZi ngisa' s
i
nf i
del i
tiesbecausei nabl ackf amilywhenyousay
thewor ddi vorcet heel der sofbot hsi desoft he
fami lywantt ocomeseet hemar r
iedcoupl etof i
nd
anot hersol utiont hatdoesnoti nvolvedi vor ce.They
don'tknowt heext endofZi ngisa'scheat ingt hat '
s
whyt heyf eelIgaveupt ooeasi ly.Somef ami l
y
member sevent hrewt he“ ifitwasyouwhocheat ed
you'dhaveexpect edZi ngi sat oforgiveyou”l ine.I'm
wellawar eofmypr ivilegesasaman, especi all
yas
farasbl ackcul t uregoesbutIwoul dnothave
expect edZi ngisat ost aywi thacheat i
ngbast ard
hadt het ablesbeent ur ned.Theydon' tknowt hat
theirchi ldhadanor gyi nhermar i
talbedbecause
I'
m pr otect i
ngt hem f rom t hepai nofknowi ngsuch.
Thei ssuei smuchdeepert hanj ustcat chingher
witht womeni nourbed, muchdeeperandi tis
somet hingIdonotwantt oexposet oourf ami l
ies.
AllthatIwantt odoi smoveonwi t
hmyl ife.Hadi t
notbeenf orthebusi ness, I'dhavemovedt oa
diff
er entcount ryandst artanewl i
febutI 'mf or ced
tostay.CapeTownsuddenl yf eelssmal l.Ican' t
i
magi ner unni ngi ntoZi ngi sawhi ledoingmy
shoppi ngorgoi ngf oraj og.Shecoul dbemy
neighborf orIknow.Mmawi llhaveaf itwhenshe
hearsherexdaught eri nl awi si nt own.Mymot her
i
sadi ffi
cul tper sont oimpr essandZi ngisanever
gott omakei ttohergoodbooks.Whenshehear d
thatZi ngisahadcheat edonme, herdisli
ket urned
i
nt ohat e.Zi ngisa'si nf i
del ityaf fect edmebecause
shewasmyf riendf orasl ongasIcoul dr emember .
Sheal wayshadt heabi l
ityt ogr abanyman' s
attentionwhenshewal kedi ntoar oom,at rueflir
t
andIhadnopr obl em wi thi t.It hinkhadourf ami li
es
notputsomuchpr essur eonust o“ gi
vedat i
ng”a
tryandget tingmar ried, sheandIwoul dst i
llbe
greatf ri
ends.Ial waysadvi ceboysatchur chwho
endupf allingf ort hei rfemal ebestf ri
endst obe
suret heywantt ot ur naf riendshi pi nt
osomet hing
romant i
c.Thewor stt hingaboutbei nginvolvedwi th
yourbestf riendi st hef actt hatshoul dthingsnot
wor kout ,younotonl yl oseal overbutal soaf riend.
Zingi hasal sobeenanat tent ionl over,henceI 'm not
shockedshet hinksmenotwor kingwi thheri s
aboutherandouri
ssues.Doweevenhavei ssues
whenwehavebeendi vorcedforawhil
enow?I'ma
32yearoldmanwhof eels60atthemoment.Allt
he
dramahasmademef eelexhaust
ed.

Iwenthomeear
lyandf
oundmymot
herwai
ti
ngf
or
me.

Mma:“ Youl ookti

redandweigheddown.Ar
eyou
eati
ngpr operl
y,Ndoda?”
,sheaskedwhil
e
examiningmyupperbody.

Liyema:“
Ithoughtt
hatwepassedt
hisstagewher
e
youfussoverme.”,
Isai
dandshesmiled.

Mma:“Nonsense,I
'
llal
waysfussoveryouchil
dren.
Yourf
atheraskedi
fyoucancomeoverf ordi
nner?”

Li
yema:“
Ican'
t,
Mma.Ihadar
eal
lyl
ongday.
Betweent r
yingtocomeupf orconceptsfora
diff
icul tcli
ent,f
eeli
ngnervousaboutVusi'smeeting,
thest udentpr ogram wearetr
yingtostartand
Zingis...”,
shelookedatmeat tent
ivel
y.“Youknow
what ?I '
llcomet omorrow”,
Iaddedhopingt hatshe
hasnotf i
guredoutthatIwastryi
ngtosay
somet hingaboutZingisa.

Mma:“ Hasshet riedt

omakecont actagain?Li
yema
don'tgi
vet hatgi
rlachancet ohurtyouagain
please.
”,shesaidcalmly.Ilookedather.Shehasa
fewwr i
nklesnowbutshei sstil
labeauti
fulwoman.

Liyema:“
Herworkwil
lbedoingaproj
ectwi t
hthe
company.Iwil
lhavenocontactwi
thherwhatso
everduri
ngthi
sti
me.Pleasestopworr
ying.Whyare
youhere?”

Mma:“ Li
yemayouunderest
imatehowthesegir
ls
oper
ate.IbetyouZi
ngi
sahasagamepl an.Ibet
youshesuggestedt
hatherbossappr
oachyour
companytodobusinesswit
h.I'
m sur
eshemade
sur
esheisapartoftheteam.”

Li
yema:“
Mma, I'
mreall
yti
red”
,Isai
dandt
hrew
mysel
fonthecouch.

Mma:“ Justbecar
eful
.Keepyourdi
stance.Inever
underst
oodwhyyouwer efr
iendswi
ththatgirl
.You
twohadnot hi
gincommonandshewasr udefrom
theti
meshewasachi ld.
”

Li
yema:“ Wel
lImetherbecauseyouandher
parentsaref
rom thesamecir
clesandshewasan
i
nteresti
ngpersonbackthen”

Mma:“ Yourfather'
scir
cles.Shehasal
waysbeen
superfi
cial
.Icouldneverunderst
andhowan
i
ntell
igentyoungboylikeyouwer ef
ri
endswit
ha
personwhocoul dbarelyholdaconver
sati
on”
Li
yema:“Mma.St opj udgi
ngotherpeopl
e'
schi l
dren
andbeingbiasedwheni tcomestoyourown.I '
m
notgoi
ngt odiscussZi ngi
sainmyhouse, aft
era
l
ongdayatwor k.Ijustwanttohaveacoldjuice,
watchsoccerandsl eep.Youstil
lhavenottoldme
whyyou'rehere?”,Ilookedupather.Shelookedlike
shewasindeept houghtbutshesnappedoutofi t.

Mma:“ Iknowyousai
dIshoul
dnotbuyanyt
hingfor
thebabybecauset
herewoul
dbenobabyshower
butyouknowIneverl
ist
ensoIboughtsomestuf
f.”

Li
yema:“
Takei
tbackandgetyourmoney”

Mma:“It
'sf
rom oneoft
hosest
oreswher
ethey
don'
tdoanyref
unds.Shoul
dIkeept
hem?”

Li
yema:“
Why,
isyourot
hersongoi
ngt
obeaf
ather
soon?
”
Mma:“Youknow,
forwhenyout
ryt
ohaveababy
agai
n.”

Li
yema:“Iwon' tputmysel fthr
ought hestressand
l
ossofmoneyagai n.Sodonat et hem t
oachi ldr
ens
home,I'
m suret herearenewbor nswhoneed
cl
othi
ng.Asf orme, don'texpectanygr andchil
d
fr
om mei nthislif
etime”,Icoul
dseet hatmywor ds
l
eftherhurt
.

Mma:“IkindofbragstoNomsathatI'
l
lal
sobea
gr
anny.Youshouldhearhergoonabouther
gr
anddaughterwhowasbor nt
womont hsago.We
ar
enowf orcedtowatchvi
deosofthechi
ld
sl
eepi
ng”

Li
yema:“ Welltel
lthem youwon'tbehavi
ngone
afteral
lbecauseIdi dnotaskyoutogotel
lyour
fr
iendsthatthereisababyont heway”
Mma:“Youar enottheonlyoneinthegroupwi t
hout
agrandbaby,Iam.Al lmyfr
iendshavegr and
babi
es,t
heysayi t
'samazingandI '
m sureiti
s.
Imagi
nehavingaper sontospoilandnotevenfeel
gui
lt
yaboutit?”
.Icouldnothelpbutlaughbutshe
wasdeadserious.

Li
yema:“AhI'
m sorr
y,Mma.Ididnotknowthi
swas
soimport
antt
oyou.Youwillhaveagrandbaby,
j
ustnotnow.“,
Itri
edtocomforther
.Mypoor
mother
.

Mma:“ I'
llgetoverit
.I'
l
lgi veal
lthoseador abl
elit
tl
e
cl
othesthatwer emeantf ormyador ableli
tt
le
grandsont othosewhoneedi t
.Iwilljusthaveto
dealwithmyf r
iendsgoingonaboutt hei
r
grandchildrenandshowi ngmevi deoswhi leIhave
nothi
ng”, shesaidinasul ki
ngtone.

Li
yema:“Thel
astt
imeIal
lowedyouandTat
ato
convi
ncemetodosomethingwast
ogetmarri
ed.I
di
dt hatandlookwhereitendedup.I'
m notyour
onlychil
d,gr
andchildr
enwi l
lcome.Lungil
ovesgir
ls
alotoneisboundt ogetpregnant
.”
,Isaidandshe
l
ookedevenmor edepressed.

Mma:“ Yourf atherpressuredyou.Iwasatf aultby

notstoppinghi m butifi
twer eupt ome, thatscam
ofamar riagewoul dneverhavebeen.Ihopeshei s
happywi ththemanshecheat edwi th.Don'tyou
daresayt hat.Yourbr ot
herisst il
lachil
dhimsel f,
wellasperhi sactions.Therei snowayanygi r
l
wouldbest upi denought ofallPregnantforhi m.
Plusyouwant edababyandIj ustthoughtyou
wouldtryagai nbutifyousayt hatyouwon' t,Iwil
l
notsayawor dabouti tagain.
” ,shesaidwithanger .
“Men”,Ithoughtt omysel fbutwoul dnotdar etell
herthatbecausei twoul dopenupant hercanof
wormsespeci all
ynowt hatZingii sbackinCape
Town.

Li
yema:“
Thanks,
Mma”
Mma:“
Tryt
ohaveyournap.Iwi
llcookusdi
nner
”

Li
yema:“Whathappenedtodinnerwi
thyour
husband?
”,Isai
dandlaughed.

Mma:“ Iwasjustt
ryingtogetyoutwointhesame
room.Hesentamessage, he'l
lbehomelate.Icook
dinner
,weeattogether,
webot hwashthedishes
andyout akemehome, deal?
”,shehel
dherthumb
up.

Liyema:“Deal
”,Iputmyt
humbagai
nsthert
oseal
thedeal.

I'
mi nnomoodf orcompanyt hatiswhyIt ol
dMma
Eunicet ol
eaveearly,butI
'
m goingt oall
owmy
mot hertocookforme.Ididnotr eali
zehowmuch
shel ookedfor
wardt ohavingagr andchi
ld.I
thoughtsheactedexci t
edonlytoshowmesupport
butshewasj ustasi nvestedasIwas.I t
'sst range
howIneverhear dherswearatNt ombiandgi veme
war mingabout“ girl
slikeNt ombi ”butshehad
war nedmeabout“ girl
sl i
keZi ngisa”.Tomet heyare
bot hcutf rom t hesamecl oth.She' srightaboutmy
l
ittl
ebr othernothavi ngachi ldbecausewewoul d
bet heonesr ai si
ngt hechi l
d.Theguycan' teven
washhi swondi shaf t
ereat i
ng.Il ovehi mt hough
andIknowhewi l
lgethisactt ogether.Ijusthope
i
t'sbefor ehet urns30year sol d.Mma' sspi cesf i
ll
ed
theent ir
ehouseandI 'm starving.She' srightabout
herneverhavi ngpr essuredmei ntomar riage.I
remembersheal waysasked“ Ar eyousur eabout
this?”andIt houghti twaswhatIwant edsoIwoul d
sayyesal lthet i
me.Myf athershoul dhavebeeni n
sales.Hei sabl etomakeaper sont hinkthatwhat
hei spresent ingt othem i sexact lywhatt heyneed
i
nt heirlives.Hegoti trightwi thmef oryear s.Itwas
nott hebestofdaysbutmymot herbei ngi nmy
kit
chencooi ngf orushasmadei tfeelbet ter
somehow.Per hapst here'samommy' sboyi nsi
de
ofme, butIappr eciateherbei ngher e.Iknowshe
willgoandf indoutwhatZi ngi saisupt oandpl ay
detecti
vecomi
ngupwit
hallkindsofassumpt
ions
butshewouldbedoi
ngital
linthenameof
protect
ingme.
[
03/
28,
17:
02]Lynne:TWENTYSI
X

NTOMBI

Makhul uaccompani edmet othelocalcli

nic
yest erdayaf tertheexcessi vevomi t
ingI'
vebeen
exper i
enci ng.I'vebeenaf r
aidtogot oanyheal t
h
carepr acti
ti
onerbecauseI '
m notreadyt ohearhow
Iwon' tbeabl et ocarrythebabyt oterm again,once
wasenough.Hear i
nganur sesayitagainwi l
lcrush
myhear tbecauset heci rcumstancesar ediff
erent
thist i
me.Iwasnotpr egnantwhenIf oundoutthat
Bongadamagedmywomb, butnowIam.I '
m sti
ll
tryi
ngt ofigureouthowBongamanagedt onotput
asi nglebr uiseonmyf aceyetmanagedt otearmy
wombt hatni ght.OrwasIbor nwi t
hani mper f
ect
womb?Thenur sesai dI'
m suf f
eri
ngf rom
Hyper emesi sGr avi
dar um, i
t'
swhenapr egnant
womanget ssever emor ningsi ckness.I '
veal so
beenhavi ngser verfat
igue.Somuchsot hatIcan
nol ongerassi stMakhul uwi thsomehousehol d
chor es.Shehasbeennot hingbutasweethear tand
mybestf r
iendsi ncewef oundoutI '
m pregnant .
Shewast heonewhobr oket henewst oTamkhul u
whi leIsatner vouslyintheot herr oom wai t
ingf or
himt ochar geatmewi thwor dsofanger .Hedi dt he
opposi t e.Hecamet ohugmeandt oldmet hatt hey
willbewi t
hmei nthisjourneyunt ilthebabyi sbor n
andhel pr aisehi m.Makhul uhasbeent r
yingt oput
meonherpr egnancyf r
iendlyeat i
ngpl anbutIcan' t
keepanyt hingdown.Theonl yt hingt hatmanages
tost ayi nmyt ummyi splainyogur tandt hatdoes
notcountasf ood.Wehavenott oldanyoneel seyet
becauseMakhul ubeli
evesi tisst il
lt oear l
ytol et
out sider sknow.Ir espectherbel i
ef ssoIhavenot
goneagai nstthem.Iappr eciatehowt heyhavebeen
suppor tivebutIwi shtheywoul dnotgetat t
achedt o
thebaby.I '
m sur eI'
m havingt hesesever emor ning
sicknessbecausemybodyhasal readyst artedt o
rejectt hebaby.Eveni fthebabywer etobebor n, he
woul dnothavebeenour stokeep.Somewher eisan
agreementwithmysi gnat
ureonitsi
gni
ngawayany
ri
ghtsamot herwouldhavetoherbaby.Liyema
mightnotbepr act
ici
nglawbutheknowst helaw
well,
Iwouldhavest oodnochanceagainsthi
m.

Mygr andfatheraskedournei ghbort opleasedr i

ve
ust oseeagynecol ogistinapr ivatehospi t
aloutof
town.Hecandr ivebuthedoesnotdr i
vel ong
distancesanymor e.Idon' tknowwher etheygott he
moneyf orthedoct orfrom becauseal lof
Tamkhul u'
slivestocki sstillhere, allofit
.Makhul u
toldmenott owor ryaboutt hatandj ustbehappy
thatI'
llbehear ingmybaby' shear tbeatf orthef i
rst
ti
me.I 'dsay“ theremi ghtnotbeahear t
beat ”,and
shedoesnotwantt ohearmet alkl i
kethatsoI
stoppedbecauseIcoul dseei twasbr eakingher
hear t
.Ihavenotf edof fherposi ti
vi t
yyetbecause
I'
mt ryingtober ealist
ic.Thet hreeofusar r
ived
earlyformyappoi ntmentanddeci dedtogoeat
somet hi
ngwhi l
ewewai t
ed.Thef oodst ayeddown
butassoonaswegott othedoct or '
sof f
ice, I
vomi tedallovert hef l
oor.Icoul dnotmakei tinti
me
forthebi n.Thet hreepeopl ewhoar ewi thushad
l
ooksofpur edisgustont hei rfaces.Onel adyeven
walkedoutandIdonotbl ameher .Al lthef oodIat e
wasl i
terallyont hef l
oorandnoti nadecentway.
Thecl eanercameandsai dIshoul dnotwor ryabout
i
t,hewi llcleanever ythingup.Makhul ui nsistedt hat
hejustbr ingherabucketandmopandshe' dcl ean
upbuthewoul dnothavei t.It hankedhi m butf elt
badbecausehehast ocl eanupmydi r
tymess.The
doctorwasf inall
yabl et oseeus, andasi def rom
ZimI '
veneverseenanot herbl ackf emal edoct or,so
Iwashappyt oseeanot her .Tamkhul usai dhewi l
l
waitout sidebecauset hisi s“ womanbusi ness” .The
doctoraskedacoupl eofquest i
onsbef ore
i
nstructingmet ot akesomewat er.Bot hMakhul u
andIdi dnotunder standwhymybl adderneededt o
befullbutsheexpl ainedt hatitmakesi teasi erf or
hertoseewhati sgoi ngon.Idr ankf ourgl assesof
waterandpr ayedIdon' tvomi tagai nbutImanaged
tokeepi tdown.Oncemybl adderwasf ull,she
askedmet ogol ayont hebed.Mahul umovedwi t
h
mef rom t heseat stot hebed, neverl ettinggoofmy
hand.Shehasneverseenababywhi leit'
si nt he
wombbef ore,soshewasl ookingforwardtosee
hergreatgrandchi
ld.Thedoct orranherlit
tl
e
machineovermysmoot hgelf il
ledbell
y.Sheput
herfaceclosertothescreentogetacl oserlook.
MakhuluandIl ookedateachot her
.

Makhulu:“Whatdoyousee,
Doctor?Ican'
tevent
ell
whatI'
ml ooki
ngat.Wher
eisthebay?”,
sheaskedin
pani
c.

Doct
or:“Wel
litseemsli
keyouwi
llbewel
coming
morethanonebaby!”
,shesai
dwithasmi
le.

Makhul
u:“
Twi
n?”
,sheaskedwi
thabi
gsmi
leonher
f
ace.

Doctor:“
Iseet
hre.
..
wait
...
wai
t.
..
.Iseebabynumber
four”
,shesai
dwithexci
tement
.Ifeelmybody
goingnumb.
Makhulu:“
Fourbabi
esatonce?
”,hersmi
lewas
r
eplacedbyashockedface.

Doctor:“
Yes,I'
veneverseenanult
rasoundf or
quadrupl
ets,wellnotwithmyowneyesanyway.
Thisissuchami racleandsoexci
ti
ng.Doyou
knowhowr ar
ethisis?”,
shesai
dstil
lsmil
ing.

Makhul
u:“
Wher
ear
ethey?
”,shest
oodcl
osert
othe
scr
een.

Doct
or:“Ri
ghtther
e”,
shesai
dpoi
nti
ngatdi
ff
erent
par
tofthescreen.

Makhulu:“Ihaveneverhear
dofawomanbei ng
pregnantwithfourchi
ldr
en.
”,shel
ookedatmesti
ll
shocked.

Doct
or:“
Ithappensmost
lywhenawoaman
concei
vedwit
hthehel
pofIVFbutther
earethose
rar
eoccasi
onswherei
thappensnatur
all
y”,
shesaid.

Makhul u:“
Whati sthatnow?”,sheasked.The
doctorexplainedt oher.Makhululooksconfused.
"Wellgoodt hingmygr andbabyisoneofthosewho
conceivednat urall
y.OhbutGodi sindeedfi
lledwith
greatwonder .Fourbabi es?
",sheaddedsoundi ng
excit
ed.

Doctor:“
Howareyoufeel
ingafterheari
ngthegr
eat
news,Mommy? ”
,shesmil
ed.Icoul dnotanswer
becauseIdonotknowhowIf eel.

Makhulu:“Sheisstil
lshocked.I '
m sti
llshockedand
myhusbandwi l
lnotbelievethisnews.Doct orwhat
aboutthewomb?Mygr anddaught erhast hi
sbelief
thathersi
sdamaged? ”
,shel ookedatmeandshook
herhead.IswearMakhul uthinksI'
mj okingwhenI
saythatIcan;tcarr
ytot erm.maybehear ingthe
doctorsayit
,willmakeitsinki n.
Thedoct oraskedi fshecoul dgethercol l
eaguet o
comeanddoubl echecki fshei sri
ghtabout
ever ything.Makhul uagr eedonmybehal fsayi ng
thatasecondopi nionisgood.Amal edoct orcame
i
nandal sochecked.Theybot hagr eedt hatI '
m
pregnantwi t
hf ourchildrenandbot hsai dmywomb
l
ooksl ikei ti
singoodcondi ti
on.Mor et estwer e
donebecauset hedoct or ssai dasmi r
acul ousas
beingpr egnantwi thquadr upl etsis,i
tcanal sobe
danger oust obot hmot herandbabi es.Theyl isted
allthet hingst hatcouldgowr ongandmademy
grandmot herwor ryevenmor e.I '
m goingt or eceive
ther esul t
sofsomeoft het est sinadayort wo.
Aftert hatt hedoct oraskedi fIwant edt oheart heir
hear tbeat sandMakhul usai dyesonmybehal f
onceagai n.Thesoundoft heirheartsmademecr y.
I'
m notsur ewhy.Iguessi tmadei tallreal.I'
m
pregnantandwi t
hf ourbabi es.Thedoct or
explai nedhowi tmi ghthavehappened.Sayi ngt hat
asingl eeggscoul dhavespl i
tintofourorf our
diff
er enteggswer efertil
izedatt hesamet ime.She
thi
nkst hebabi eswer econcei vednat urall
yandI
wasnotaboutt ot el
lherot herwi se,notwithmy
grandmapr esent .Dur i
ngt heembr yotransfer,t
he
doctoratt hef ertili
tyclinicsai dhewoul dt r
ansfer
twoembr yosf orbet terchancesofconcept i
on.
Couldi tbet hatt hoset woembr yoseachspl iti
nto
two?Idi dnotevenknowt hatf ourbabi esbornat
thesamet i
mear ecal l
edquadr upl et
s.Thedoct or
saidmul tiplepr egnancybabi esgetbor nearlyand
viac-section.Thedoct orexpl ainedmor ebutIheard
nothing.If eelast houghI 'm sittingnextt omyown
body, l
ikeI '
m notqui teonewi thi t.Ourvisitwit
ht he
doctorsended.Wet oldTamkhul uandheal most
hadahear tatt
ackduet oshock.Whocoul dblame
him?Icr iedt hewhol ewaywhi l
egoi ngbackhome.
Wear r
ivedhomeandIwentt omybedr oom.The
factthatmydoori scur tai
ndoesnothel pmuch
becauseIneedpr i
vacyatt hemoment .Makhul u
camei nandl aidnextt ome.

Makhul
u:“Ntombi”
,shesai
dmynamesof
tl
ybutI
di
dnotrespond.“
Mybabythisi
sbi
gnewsforusal
l.
Wewi llgofr
om af ami
lyofthr
ee,t
oaf amilyof
seven.Ihaveneverrai
sedsomanychi ldr
enwho
areatthesameagebef orebutIupforwhat ever
comes.Wemi ghtnotberi
chbutwear enotpoor
ei
ther.Wewi l
lhelpyourai
sethoseblessi
ngs.”

Nt
ombi:“Ther
ewil
lbenoblessi
ngst
orai
se,
Makhul
u.”,
Isai
dinawhisper
.

Makhulu:“Youhear
dwhatt hedoctorsai
d.Shesaid
yourwombl ookswell
,sheeventookanother
machinejusttobesure.Pl
easestopsayi
ngthere
wil
lbenochi l
drent
oraise.I
tbreaksmyheart”

Nt
ombi
:“Youdon'
tunder
stand”
,Isai
dinf
rust
rat
ion.

Makhulu:“Thati
swhyI'm here.Iwantto
underst
andbecauseyoukeepsayi ngthatiwon't
underst
andyetyoudon'ttel
lmewhati tisthatI
won'tunderst
and.I
sitaboutthefather
?”,Inodded.
Ntombi
:“Themanyouthi
nki
sthef
atheri
snott
he
f
ather
”,Iconf
essed.

Makhulu:“Ohokay..
.Iwasnotexpecti
ngthat.Who
i
sthefatherthen?”
,shesai
dtryingtohidethe
di
sappoint
menti nhervoi
ce.I
'm sureshethinksI
hadsexwi t
hmul t
ipl
emen.

Ntombi:“HisnameisLiyemaElephant
”,Itoldher
ever
ything,notl
eavi
ngoutasingledet
ail.“I
'
m sorr
y,
Makhulu”,Iaddedandshekeptquietf
oral ong
whil
e.

Makhulu:“
Thisi
sallsocompli
cat
ed.I
sthi
sLiyema
charact
eramanyouwoul dwantt
ohaveinthei
r
l
ives?Isheki
nd?”,
herquest
ionmademesmi l
e
becauseheiski
nd.

Nt
ombi
:“Hei
sagoodman,
Makhul
u.Thatdoesnot
mattert
houghbecauseeveni
fhewasabadper
son
Icouldnotst
ophimfrom t
aki
ngthem.

Makhulu:“Thesear eyouchi l
dr en,Ntombi.Ifhedi d
notwantyout obondwi t
ht hem, hecouldhavegone
wit
hhi sfi
rstoptionanduset heot herl
ady'seggs
buteventhatwoul dnothavest oppedyouf r
om
bondingwiththem becauset heyar egr
owi ngi nsi
de
ofyou.Youcr yingwhenyouhear dthei
rhear tbeats
i
sjustthebegi nning.Wai tuntiltheymove.Mygi r
l
waitunti
lyouhol dt hem inyourar ms.Whatt hat
Bongaboymadeyoudoi swr ongandI 'm
di
sappointedthatyoul ethim butIwon' tthrow
st
onesatyouwhenIshoul dbecomf or
tingyou.
Whatexact l
ydoest hisagreementsay? ”

Nt
ombi
:“Theyar
ehi
s.”

Makhul
u:“Wellhewantedonl
yone,
sotechni
cal
ly
onl
yoneishis”,shesai
dandIal
mostl
aughed.
Ntombi:“Wecan'tseparat
ethem,Makhulu.Liyema
willwantal
lhischi
ldrenandheiswithi
nf ullr
ight
.
I'
m notreadyformotherhoodanyway.Iwillcarr
y
hischil
drenandgivethem asperouragreement .

Makhulu:“Youthinkthatiswhatyouwi lldobutwai t
unti
lyoufalli
nlovewi t
ht heli
vesgrowi nginsi deof
you.Thi
spr egnancyisalreadymaki ngyousi ck.
Thisboyshouldbegr atefult
hatyouar ewi ll
ingt o
carr
ythem.Howwi llheraisethem alone? ”

Nt
ombi
:“Theyhavemoney”

Makhulu:“Allofthi
sisgivi
ngmeaheadache.Ineed
asweetcupoft eaandprocessit.Ithasbeena
l
ongday, fr
om findi
ngoutyou'repr egnantwithfour
chil
drentohavingfoundoutthatyousi gnedt he
ri
ghtstothem awayt osomechl oralwhot hi
nks
rai
singachildaloneiseasy.Whydoyouchi ldren
dot
heset
hings?
”

Nt
ombi
:“I
'
m sor
ry,
Makhul
u”

Makhul u:“Letusnottellyourgr
andfat
heraboutt
he
restofthest or
y,Idon'tthi
nkhewil
lunderst
and.
Youshoul dtel
lyourfathert
hatheisgoingt
obea
grandfather.Idonotwanthi mtosaywekeephi m
i
nt hedar k”

Nt
ombi
:“Yes,
Makhul
u”

Makhulu:“Whatist
heworstthatcouldhappeni
fwe
don'
ttel
lthi
sLiyemaaboutthebabies?”

Ntombi:“
Igotojailwhenhef i
ndsout
,andhewi l
l
fi
ndoutevent
ually.Li
fehasawayofr eveal
ing
secr
etseveni
fitisafteryear
s”
Makhul
u:“
Maybehewi l
lunder
standt
hattheyneed
youasmuchastheyneedhim.Yousaidheisa
goodman”
Nt
ombi:“AgoodmanIwhosetr
ustIhavebroken.
Hewon'twantacon-
womantor
aisehischi
ldr
en”

Makhul
u:“
OhNt
ombit
henwhatnow?
”

Nt
ombi:“
Itr
ytocarr
yt hem aslongaspossi
ble,
give
bi
rt
handhandthem overtotheirf
ather
”

Makhulu:“Nt
ombi kayi
se,markmywor ds,youwil
l
notbeabletojustgivethem away.You
under
estimatethebondbet weenamot herandher
chi
ldr
en.”
Nt
ombi
:“Ineedt
orestnow.MayIpl
easesl
eep?
”
Makhulu:“
Yes,sleep.Thisdayhasbeenlong.You
gai
ningweightandal readyshowingmakessense
now.Fourbabies?”,shesaidwithhersmi
lewhil
e
hol
dingupfourfingers.
Makhul ufinallymadeherwayoutofmybedr oom.I
tookmyphoneandsear chedf ort ruest oriesof
womenwhohavehadquadr upl etsbef or e.There
aren'
tmanyst oriesbecausei si snotcommonf or
womant ohavef ourbabiesatonce.I tismost
commonwi thwomenwhohavedoneI VF.The
doctorment i
onedsomet hingaboutt wooft he
babiesshar ingasac.I fI;
m al readysot iredatj usta
fewweeks, Ican; timaginehowI '
llbei naf ew
mont hs.Mygr andpar entsal sowon' tbeabl eto
affor
dt otakemet opri
vat eheal thcar eandIdonot
wantmyf athert ohavemor ef ight swi thhi swife
becauseofme.Iknowhedi dnotgetmi lli
onsand
healreadyspentmostoft hemoneybybuyi ngl and
andlivestock.I '
llhavet odependonpubl ichealth
care.Ican'ttellLi yemanow.Iwantt ohavea
peacefulpr egnancysot hathi schi ldrencanbe
healthyoncet heyar ebor n.Inouragr eementi twas
sti
pulatedthatI 'llbeli
vingcl oset ohi mi nor derf or
himt obeabl etot akemet odoct or '
sappoi ntment s.
Idon'tknowanyt hingaboutt hel aw, soIdon' tknow
i
fIwi llbeabl et of i
ghtandsayIwantt ogi vebi r
thin
theEast ernCape.Idon' twantt ogot oCapeTown
agai n.Evenoncet hebabi esar ebor n, Iwi llcal lhim
andaskhi mt ocomegett hem.Idon' tknowhowhe
willreactt ot henewsofsuddenl ybei ngaf athert o
fournewbor nsbutt hatishi sprobl em notmi ne.Al l
thatIhavet odoi sstayst rongandheal thyand
makesur eIdon' tbondwi ththebabi es.Hear ing
theirhear tbeat smademedet ermi nedt ost ay
pregnantasl ongaspossi bleunt ilalltheyar eall
wel ldevel oped.Idon' tknowhowaccur at et he
doct orwaswhenshesai dmywombhasr est ored
i
tsel fbutIpr ayi tremai nsi ngoodcondi tionunt il
theyar ebor n.Iwi llr
emi ndmysel fdailyt hatI 'mj ust
asur rogat eunt ilIgivebi rt
h.Liyemai st hei rfather
andI '
mj ustt hewomanwhoi sr ent i
ngouther
wombt ohi m.Iwonderi ftheywi llalllooki dent i
cal?
“No, Nt ombi ” ,Isaidt omysel f
.Suchquest i
ons
mightl eadt omel ovingt hem becausewhenI
wonderwhatt heywi lll
ookl i
ke, I
'llpicturemysel f
holdi ngt hem.I nt heagr eementi tstatest hatt hey
willbet akenawayf rom mer i
ghtaf terbi rth.
Appar ent l
yonceamot herhol dherchi ldf ort hef ir
st
ti
me, al i
feti
mebondget sformed.Ican' tanddon' t
wantt ofor mt hatbondwi t
ht hel itt
leLi yemas.Si nce
Liyemawant edaboy, itmeanst hatI '
m car ryi
ng
fourboys, fourEl ephanthei rs.Idon' tknowhow
Liyemawi l
lcopewi thf ourboysbecauseIhear d
boyscanbeahandf ul.Ensur ingt hathi sboysar e
bor nheal thyandst rongi sthebestapol ogyIcan
givet ohi m.I '
m bei ngunf airbynott ell
inghi m now
sohecoul dpr epar ehi msel fbuti tisf ort hebest .We
cantbeundert hesamer oofbecauseoft hetensi on
thatwi llbebet weenus.I '
m sur et hiswon' tbean
easypr egnancy, mysever emor ningsi cknessand
const antf ati
guei sasi gnoft hat .It'
sbestIr emai n
hereandbeatpeace.Myai mi st ocar ryt hethem at
l
eastunt ilweek33buti fIcangobeyondt hatwoul d
beevenbet ter.Ipr omi sedLi yemat hegi ftofhel ping
him getababy, Ihopehewi l
lbehappyt oheart hat
i
twi llbef ourboys.Igotonmykneest opr ay.
Aski ngt hatGodkeepmeandt hebabi esheal thy
andt hatIgett hr oughanycompl icationt hatmi ght
comeourway.Theyar eGod' sgi fttooneofHi s
treasur edchi l
dr enandi ti
supt omet omakesur e
theyt hesegi ftget“ delivered”t oLi yema.Ihavenot
thoughtabouthowI '
l
lbreakt henewst oLiyema
oncet heyareher ebutI '
lltakehisapproachonl ife
thi
st imebytakingt hingsast heycomeand
crossingthatbridgewhenIgett oit.I
'm afraidthatI
willfai
lbutIwi l
lleaveitallinGod'shandsandl ean
ont hesuppor tt
hatIhaveasmuchaspossi ble.
“Youar enottheirmot her ,
onlyasur rogate”,I
thoughttomysel fbef oreIf el
lasl
eep.Makhul uis
wrong, Iwon'tbondwi t
ht hesekids.Ijusthavet o
makesur ethatmyemot ionsdon' tovercloudmy
l
ogi c.
[
03/
28,
17:
02]Lynne:TWENTYSEVEN

NTOMBI

Iknewfrom thebeginningthatI'
m mostli
kel yt
o
haveadiff
icultpr
egnancybutIdi dnotthinkit
wouldbethisworse.I'
m sixmont hsalongandI
havebeeninandoutofhospi tal
.Theseli
ttl
eones
arecl
earl
ystrongerthanIgi vethem cr
editfor.
Regardl
essofmyi llhealt
htheykeepgr owing.I'
ve
beenpr ayi ngfort hem andmysel flikeneverbef ore
andGodhasi ndeedbeengood.I '
vedevel oped
anemi aandgest at i
onalhyper t ensionaboutt wo
mont hsagoandi thasbeent ough.Thedoct or
recommendedbedr estmostofwhi chwasdonei n
hospi tal.Makhul uandTamkhul uhavebeenmy
pil
larsofst r
engt h.Iwoul dnothavecomet hisf ar
hadi tnotbeenf ort hei
rprayer sandsuppor t.My
fatheri sovert hemoonaboutbei ngagr andf ather
off ourchi l
dren.Makhul usaidIshoul dnott ellthe
ment heent ir
est oryyetbecauset heywi llaskal ot
ofquest ionswhi chmi ghtleadt omeget ti
ngsi cker
duet ost ress.Shehasbeent r yingt oconvi nceme
tokeepqui etaboutt hebabiest oLiyema, butIcan' t
dot hat .Hei sgoi ngt ogivethem amuchbet terli
fe
thanIevercoul d.Wi t
hhimt heywi llgr owupi na
saferenvi ronmenti nthesubur bs,theywi llnever
l
ackanyt hingandt heywi l
lattendgr eatprivate
school s.WhenIf irstgotadmi ttedtohospi talmy
fatherwasabl et opayf orprivat eheal thcar ef orme,
butIhadt ost ayt her efortwoweeksandIknewi t
wast ooexpensi vef orhim.I'vesi ncebeenmaki ng
useofpubl i
cheal thcareandt hepubl ichospi talI'
ve
beeni ni snotbadatal l.Thenur sesanddoct or sare
kind.Onenur seadvi sedt hatIsel lmyst oryt othe
medi aandgetsomemoneyf rom itbutIcant .The
secondi tisoutLi yemai sboundt oseei tandhewi l
l
taket hef i
rstfl
ightt ot heEast er nCape.Idon' twant
him nearmeatt hi smoment .Themanmusthat e
meandIcan' taf fordtohavesuchanegat i
ve
emot ionar oundme.I '
m havi ngdi ffi
culti
esal ready.I
willcallhim whent helitt
leonesar ebor n.Wehave
nott oldMr sBaboutt hepr egnancyandIf eelbad
fordoi ngsobutsheknowsLi yema.Hemi ghtnotbe
acl osef ami l
yfriendt ohi m butt heyar ef r
om t he
samechur chsot heymusthavemet .Shewi l
lalso
tellhimt hatI'm car ryi
nghi schi ldrenandt hathe
shoul densur ethatIgett hebestheal t
hcar e
ser vi
ces.Accor di ngt oouragr eementLi yemai sto
makesur eI'mtakengoodcar eofmedi callywhi le
I'
m pr egnantandaf terthechi ldisbor nshoul dI
needi t.Privatecar ewoul dbegr eatbutIcan' t
affordi tandIdonotwantt heper sonwhocan
affordi tclosetome.Thepubl ichospitalisver y
attentivewheni tcomest omebecauset hiswi l
lbe
thever yf i
rstquadr uplet sbor nint hei
rhospi tal.It
wil
llookgreatontheirr
ecordwhenal lbabiesare
bornali
veandheal t
hy.Theonlywayt oensur ethey
areisbytakingcareofthepersoncarryi
ngt hem so
Ihavefullconf
idenceinthecareI'
m getti
ng.

I'
vebeeni nhospi talforthepastt hreeweeksandI
donotwi shtor eturnher eagai nunt ilthedayI '
m
duet ocomegi vebi rth.Thedoct ori shappywi tht he
progressofal lfourboysandt her ear enosi gnsof
birt
hdef ects.Downsyndr omewast heonet hingsI
fearedwoul dhappenbecauseI 'vebeendoi ngal ot
ofreadingonmul tiplepregnanci esandonear ticle
statedthatoneormor eoft hem babi escoul dbe
bornwi thdownsyndr omeorot herbi r
thdef ect .To
hearthatt heyar eal lhealt
hyi sar elief.Makhul uhas
beensl eepingatt hehospi talf
ort het hreeweeks
I'
vebeenher e.TodayI '
m beingdi schar gedaf terI
wast reatedfort hehi ghbl oodpr essur eandanemi a.
I'
m exhaust ed.Iwi shIcoul dborrowsomeoneel se
mybodyj ustfort hedaysoIcangetpr operr est .I'm
hugeandmyf eetandankl esareswol l
en.Ilai don
thebedwi thMakhul usi t
ti
ngont hechai rnextt ome.
Shewasexhaust edtoobutsoldiersonformysake.
Thebabiesstart
edtomove, i
t'
snott hefi
rstti
mebut
i
thasneverf el
tsopowerfulbefore.It
oldMakhul
u
andsheputbot hherhandsondi ffer
entpart
sofmy
bel
ly.Shelovesitwhentheymove.

Makhulu:“
Areyouf
ourf
ighti
ngformor
espacei
n
t
here?
”,sheaskedt
hebabieswi
thasmil
e.

Ntombi:“
Itwon'
tbel
ongnow.Soont heywi
llhave
enoughspacetomoveabout
”,Isai
dwi t
hasmi l
e.

Makhul
u:“
Ntombi
?”,
shel
ookedatme.

Nt
ombi
:“Makhul
u”,
shel
ookedconcer
ned.

Makhul
u:“
Youl
ovet
hem”
,shesai
d.
Ntombi
::“
Ist
hataquest
ion”
,Iaskedt
houghIknow
i
twasnot.

Makhulu:“I
'mtell
ingt
ou, notaski
ngyou.Wel ove
them t
oo.Yourgrandfatheri
salreadyexci
tedabout
havi
ngf ourboystohelphim”,shesaidandwebot h
l
aughed.

Ntombi:“Idol
ovethem,Ma.Li
keIloveNanafrom
nextdoor.Youar
ecapableofl
ovi
ngkidsthataren'
t
yourstoo”

Makhul
u:“Buthaveyoubeeninandoutofhospi
tal
wit
hNana?Haveyouhadt ofeelhermovei
nsideof
you?Haveyougivenbi
rt
htoher?”

Nt
ombi
:“No,
but
..
.

Makhul
u:“
Nobut
s.Idi
dsomer
eadi
ngofmyown
aboutthi
s.Ifyouandthi
sboydi dthingsaccor
ding
tothelaw,somewhereinthatcont
ractshouldstat
e
thatyouhaveaf ewdaystodecideifyouwantto
keepthem andsharecust
ody.”

Ntombi :“I
'
m notr eadytobeamot her.AllIwant
aftergivi
ngbi r
thandgi vi
ngLiyemahi schi l
drenis
togobackt oschoolandmakesomet hingofmyl i
fe.
Eveni fIwantedtokeept hem, whichIdon' t
,butifI
want edtoI'dbegoi ngupagainstal egalfamily.
Liyemawi llmakesur ehewi pesthef l
oorwithme.
Hehast hequalif
icati
onandt hemoneyt odoso.I '
m
ti
red, Makhulu.Pleasedon'tdothistome>”

Makhul
u:“
Okay”
,shesai
dinawhi
sper
.Thedoct
or
wal
kedinj
usti
ntime.

Doct
or:“
Areyour
eadyt
ogo,
MissPot
i?”
,hesmi
l
ed.

Nt
ombi
:“I
'
vebeenr
eadysi
ncet
hef
ir
stdayIcame
her
e”,
wel
aughedbutnotMakhul
u.

Makhulu:“
I'
m goi
ngtoseeifourtr
anspor
tisher
e
yet
.”
,shestoodandwalkedout.

Doctor:“Youhavet
obegr atef
ult
ohaveheri
nyour
l
ife.Gr
anni esar
eatreasur
e.”,
hesmi
lewhil
e
examiningme.

Nt
ombi
:“I
am”

Doct or:“Okayt hatisitf

rom me.Remembert or est,
restandr est.I
'
m happywi thyourbloodpr essure
andI 'm hopingi tst
aysingoodcondi ti
onandyour
anemi aalso.Iknowi thasbeent oughonyouand
yourbodyhast akenat ollbutyouar edoinggr eat
sof ar.I'
ml ookingf or
wardt omeetingt hesefourbut
notyet .Mygoali stokeept hem t
her easlongas
possi bleeveni fiti
soutofmycont rolbuttheent ir
e
staffishopi ngf ort
hebest .”
Nt
ombi
:“Thanks,
Doct
or”
,Ismi
led.

It'
sgoodt oknowt hatther ear eotherswhowi sht he
babieswel lbecausei tmeansmor eprayers.It alkto
them somet imesandaskt hattheypleaser emai n
putandsof aritseemsl iket heyar eli
st eni
ng.Il ove
them.I fIdi dnotl ovet hem t henIwoul dnothave
botheredmysel fmuch.Icomet othehospi t
aland
got omycl inicappointment swhenIneedt o.It ake
mysuppl ement sandhavenotoncecompl ained
aboutt het reat mentI'ver eceivedf orthehighbl ood
pressur eandi rondef i
ciency.Ineversai dt
hatI
don'tlovet hem, allI
'm sayi ngisIwon' tandcan' t
keept hem.Makhul ureadi ngupoft hel awsof
surrogacypr ovesjusthowmuchshewant st hem t o
staywi thus.Iwantt ogi veherwhatshewant sbut
shecan' twantot herpeopl e'sbabi esbecausei tis
notlegal .Ij ustwantt ofocusonhavi ngal if
eofmy
own.Iwantt ogogetmydegr ee, getdecentj oband
l
iveagoodl if
e.I'
llsomet imeswonderhowt he
babiesar edoi ngbecauseIcar ebutIdohavehave
anyf earoft hem bei ngi lltreatedbyt heirf ather .
Wi t
hsomel uckLi yemawi lloccasional lysend
picturesbuti fhedoesnott henIwoul dunder stand.
I'
vebeent r
yingt onoti nvol veemot ionsi nt hist o
avoidat t
achment .Idosmi lewhent heymovebut
onlybecauseIdi dnott hinkt heywoul dhavemade
i
tsof ar.I'
m happybecausemybodyi sabl et ohep
them gr ow.I '
vebeengoi ngt ochurchasof t
enas
possibl e.I'
vehadsomepeopl egossi paboutmy
pregnancy.Somesayi ngIwasapr ostitutei nt he
cityandgotpr egnantbyacl i
entandt hati swhyno
fatherisseenar ound.Peopl ecanbecr uelbutI '
m
notgoi ngt ochur chf ort hem.Hadi tnotbeenf or
God, Idon’ tthinkt hesebabi eswoul dst il
lbeal i
ve.
Mr sBwasr ightwhenshesai dthatnol ovei s
greatert hant hatofChr i
st .Nomancoul devergi ve
suchuncondi ti
onall ove.I '
vedeci dedt ol ive
accor dingt oGod' st eachi ngs.I'
m notsur eifIcoul d
sayI '
m abor nagai nChr istianbutI'ver epent edand
willtr
ybyal lmeanst oliveat r
uthfullife.Iknow
therewi l
lbemanyt empt ati
onsi nlifethough.Idon' t
knowi fI'
llevergetmar r
iedsomedaybutI '
ve
decidedt onothavesexbef oremar riagewi th
anot hermanagai n.I'
m novi r
ginbutIdon' twantt o
shar emysel finsuchawaywi thamanoutof
wedl ockagai n.Iknowsomemenmi ghtinsul tme
bysayi ngI '
m al r
eadydamagedgoodssowhymust
theywai tbuti fGod' splani sformet ogetmar ried,I
knowhewi llsendmeamanwhowi l
lrespectmy
decisionandappr eciateme.Idon' tknowhowI 'l
l
explaint ot hatmant hatIhavef ourchildr
enwhoar e
biological l
ymi neoutt herebutwhenIdo, Ihopehe
under stands.Igotdr essedwi ththehel pofanur se.
Thepor terpushedmeont hewheel chairtomy
father'scarandwewenthome.I '
vebrokenmy
grandmot her'shear tandI'm sorry.Myf ather's
healthl ooksbet teraf t
erIrecommendedt hathe
eatscl ean.Li yema' sheal t
hylifestyl
ehast hought
meal ot .Tat aseemst ohavegai nedsomewei ght
too.Hel ookshi sageagai n.Iknowhi sdeceasecan
notbecur edbutwecant r
eati t
,andwhatbet ter
wayt ot reatittheneat i
ngfoodt hatisgoodf ort he
body.IhavenotseenNomvul aandherdaught er
sincet hatdaywewentt otheirhouseandI '
m not
compl aining.Idon' twantanyt hingnegat i
vear ound
me.Iwantt okeepmyspacecl ean,especi al
ly
spir
itual
ly.Ihavenotevenwentt ot hef uneralwhen
oneofournei ghbor sdi
edbecauseIf earedthat
theremightbet oomuchsor r
owwhi chwoul daffect
us.Somewoul dsayI '
mt ooover protectivebutmy
grandparentsgeti t.Il
aidonmybackandbr ushed
mybump.Poort hi
ngs,I'
m suret heyr eallyare
fi
ghtingforspaceast heygetbi gger .Ihopet hat
won't'maket hem wantt ocomet ooear l
y.Iloveit
whent heymovebecausei tsli
ket heyal lmoveat
thesamet i
me.Isomet i
mesdon' tknowwher eto
putmyhands.I 'vebeensi ckformostoft he
pregnancybutt heyar esowor t
hi t
.

LI
YEMA

Thestudentshavestart
edt hei
rtrai
ningwithusand
i
thasbeensmoot hsai
ling,well
asidefrom Zingisa
comingtotheof f
icet
o“ check”onthestudents.My
mothersaidZingihasbeenbacki ntownf orawhi l
e
andaccordingtoherit
'slongenoughf orZingisato
gat
herinformati
onaboutmesoshecoul dmovei n
thesameci rclesasme.Idon' tcarewhi chci r
cles
Zingi movesi nasl ongasshedoesnott ryto
befriendme.Li fehasbeengr eat.Businesshas
beenbl oomi ngandI 'veki ndamadepeacewi thmy
father .Isuspectt hathei st r
yi ngtomakemespeak
toZingi sa.Idon' tknowwhatmyf atherlovesabout
thatwomansomuch.I fIeverwasgoi ngt oget
mar riedagai n, mysecondwi fewoul dcl earlyhave
comesecondbestt oZi ngisai nMrEl ephantSeni ors
eyes.Mybr ot herseemst ohavegot tenagi r
lthat
groundshi m.Thepar t
ieshavebecomel essand
guyevenenr oll
edi ntobusi nessschool .Mmai snot
soldatal lbutIwi llgivehi mt hebenef i
tofdoubt .It
's
amazi nghowsomewomenhaveaposi tiveimpact
ont hei rman’ slives.I 'm notl uckyenought ocr oss
pathswi t
hsuchwomen.It houghtNt ombiwasone
ofthose.Shmademef eelgoodwhenshewas
around.Shef elt“ homy”i fther eisevensuchat hi
ng
butitwasal lanact .

Vusi,
somef r
iendsandIgottogetherf
orawell
deservedchi
llweekend.I
twasallgoodunt
ilmyboy
decidedtomakeacal landi nvi
tesomel adies.The
guyshavenopr obl
em withitandnei t
herdoIbut
whatIdohaveapr oblem withsbei nghookedup.
Thereisnothi
ngIhat emor ethant hat.Jackyoneof
theladi
eswhohasnotal l
owedmemucht i
met o
breathwasbusyonherphonet ell
ingmewhatwas
goingoninhersoci al
medi apages.If eltl
ikeputti
ng
onani nvi
sibi
li
tycoatandj ustdisappear.

Jacky:“
Ohmywor d!Youguyswon'tbeli
evewhat
thi
schickj
ustposted.Apparent
lywheresheworks
i
sawomanwhoi spregnantwit
hli
kefourbabi
es.
Whatthehell
?”,
shesai di
nherfakeaccent.

Haley:“
Howwi l
lshepusht hem alloutofheryou
know..”
,theyal
llaughed.I
twasthemostannoyi ng
momentofmyl i
feandI '
vehadplenty.

Li
yema:“Gent
s,j
ustr
ememberedt
hatIhavet
ohel
p
mybrot
herwithsomet
hingi
mport
ant
”,It
ookasi
p
ofmydri
nkandstood.
Vusi:“
What'
sgoingon,Bro.Wearechi
ll
ingf
orthe
fi
rstti
mesaft
eralongti
me.Icall
edsomeprett
y
gir
lsandJackywanttogettoknowyoubett
er”
,he
fol
lowedmet ot
hedoor.
Li
yema:“ Lungi
leneedshel
pwi t
habusi ness
proposalassi
gnmenthegot.IfIdon'tdoittodayI
won'tgetachancebecausetomor r
owi schur ch
andduringtheweekyouknowhowcr azyitgets.
”

Vusi
:Wewor ktoget
herandgot ot
hesamechurch.
I'
l
lhel
pafterchur
ch.Comeonewhenl astdi
dyou
havefunwithabeauti
fulgi
rl
?”

Li
yema:“Don'
tfor
gettouseprot
ect
ion.I
'
llseeyou
l
ater
.”
,Ipl
att
edhim ontheshoul
derandleft
.

Ift
hereisonethi
ngIcannotst andisshall
owness
andfakersandIsensethataboutthoseladi
es.I
knowtheaim wastojustgetintot
heirpantsbutI
'm
noti nt hemoodf orsucht oday.I 'm amanandget
tempt edandar ousedasmuchast heaver age
healthymanbutIdon' tgoar oundsl eepingwi thjust
anyone.I '
vebeenwi thaf ewl adiessi ncemy
divorcebutIdon' tgoar oundpi ckingupr andom
girl
sever yweekend.I 'm notj udgi ngment hatdo
butsomef riendsneedt or ealizethatwear enotal l
thesame.Theonl ythingofi nterestJackysai dwas
thenewsaboutt hel adycar ryingquadr uplets.Had
shegi vensomei nt ell
ect ualviewsont hemat t
er
i
nst eadofj okingabouthowt hewomanwi llpush
outt hebabi eswithherf r i
ends, I'
dhavel istened.
Havet heyneverhear dofaC- Sect i
on?Whatar are
occur rence.Ihopet hemot herhasal lthesuppor t
physi call
y, fi
nanci all
y,ment ally,emot ionallyand
medi cal l
ythatsheneeds.I 'm sur eherhusbandi s
overt hemoonyetscar edashel l
.IknowI '
dbe
terr
ifiedifIwast ol dI'
dbeaf atheroff ourbabi es
bornont hesameday.I 'm sendi ngoutpr ayerst o
them, especi al
lythemot herbecausei tcan'tbeeasy.
I'
dmostpr obabl yf ai
ntshoul dIbet oldmywoman
i
shavi ngquadr uplets,somepeopl ear etruly
blessedt hough.Iwonderi ftheywi l
lallbeboys,
girlsorami xtureoft hetwogender s.Howdi di t
comeabout ?Wasi tnaturalordi dtheymakeuseof
thehel pofI VF?Di doneeggbr eakint of ouror
wher efourdi fferenteggsf ertili
zedatt hesamet i
me?
Suchwonder shappeni nt hewor ldandpeopl estil
l
quest ioni fGodexi sts?Mymi ndwassuddenl y
i
nt erestedont hi
scase.Il ovenewst hati snotan
ever ydayoccur r
ence.I '
vegotacur i
ousmi nd.I
wonderi ft hegover nmentwi llhel pthepar entin
someway?Usual l
yt heydo.Howwi l
lshe
breast feedt hem al l?Isti
llthinkt hefatherhasnot
recover edf r
om t henewsyet .Ihavenoteven
recover edf r
om hear i
ngthatt her eiscur rentlya
womani nsuchacondi ti
onandi thasabsol utely
not hingt odowi thme.Poorguywi l
lgot owor k
l
ooki ngl iket hedead.Oneempl oyeeofmi nelooked
l
iket hatwhenhej usthadachi ld.Ican' timagi ne
fournewbor ns.Thi nkingabouti tnow, I'
m gladmy
plansofhavi ngachi ldofmyownhavebeenputon
hold.Iwasnotr eadyyetandGodknewi t.WhenI '
m
readyi t'l
lhappenbutIpr ayi tisnotf ouratonce.I
l
aughedatmysel fforbeingsoi ntri
guedby
somet hingt hatisnonofmybusi ness.Iputonmy
gospelmusi candIj ustenj oyedt her i
dehome.I
l
ovebei ngatmyhouse.Ionl ygooutwhenIhavet o,
togonet wor korj ustrelax.Iwasaboutt opul lmy
carint othedr ivewayandst r
aighti ntothegar age
becauseIhavenopl ansf orther estoftheday.I '
m
suchani ntrover t
.Icannotdr ivemycarIt hough
becauset herewasal r
eadyacarpar kedi nthe
driveway.I tdoesnotl ookf ami l
iarbutal lIknowi s
thatI '
mf rustratedbyt heunexpect edvi sit
or.Ma
Euni ceisher et odayt obakeagai nbecauseshe
doesnowwor konSat urdays.Maybei t
sherr ide
backhome.Ipar kedout sidemyyar dandwal kedi n
onlyt ofindZi ngisainf rontofmydoor .Coul dt his
daygetanywor se?Shest oodandl i
kethespoi led
princessshei s, t
oldet ohaveawor dwi t
hMa
Euni cebecauseMaEur efusedherent rytot he
houseandt hati swhyshe' ssitt
ingout side.

Liyema:“
Shehatesi
twhenpeopl
ear
earoundwhi
le
shebakes.Whatdoyouwant
?HowdidyouknowI
l
ivehere?
”
Zingi
:“I
t'
sasmal
lworl
dandpeopleknowyou.Al
lI
hadtodowasaskaround.Iwantust
otal
k.Canwe
pl
easegoi n?
”

Li
yema:“
Tal
k”,
Isai
dtoher
.

Zingi:
“Li
yemaplease”
,shepleadedt
hinki
ngI'
dlet
herinmyhouse.“Okay,I
'vecometoapologi
ze
again”

Li
yema:“
Apol
ogyaccept
ed”

Zi
ngi
:“Imi
ssyou”
,shesai
d.

Li
yema:“Getyourcaroutofmydr
iveway.Iwantt
o
dr
iveminein.Odon'thavet
imet
olist
entocrap”
Zingi
:“Weusedtobesuchgoodf
ri
end,baby”Iwas
youngandstupi
dbutnowI'
vematur
ed.I'
m no
l
ongerthatgi
rl
.I'
m awomannow”
Liyema:“Goodforyou.I
'
m suresomemanwi l
l
appreci
atethati
nyou.I'
m nothim.Takeyoursmal
l
tenni
sballofacaroutandleave”

Zingi
:“We'vebeent hroughsomucht oget
her”
,she
conti
nuedt oplead.I'
ml osi
ngmypatiencewit
h
eachsecondt hatpasses.Igrabbedherbyherarms
andleadhertohercar .“
Youknowwewer egood.
ThatiswhyI '
m stil
labletoevokesomeemotionout
ofyou”,sheadded.

Liyema:“
Theonl
yemoti
onsyouevokei
nmear
e
thoseofhat
eanddi
sgust
.”

Zingi
: “
Becauseyousti
lll
oveme.Ourhi st
oryruns
toodeep”,shesaidandhadhert onguei
nmymout h
befor
eIcoul dsayanyt
hing.Ipushedheroffmeand
feell
ikevomiti
ng.
Liyema:“ Thehistoryofyoucheat i
nghuh...t
he
histor
yofyou. .
.ofyo..
.t
hedamnhi st
oryofyou
fuckeni nfect
ingmewi thHIV?Ohbutt hatcan'
tbe
classi
fiedashi storynowcani tbecauseI'm st
il
lHI
V
positi
vebecauseyoucoul dnotkeepyourdamn
l
egscl osed.Gett hehel lof
fmypr opert
ybefore
thereishel lt
opay” ,Ishoutedandgrabbedherby
herarm agai nandputheri nhercar.

Hercarr ever edoutofmydr i

vewaysl owly.The
nerveoft hiswoman?Whenhercarwasoutofsi ght
Iletmyangeroutbyt hrowi ngar oundt hepotplants
thatwer ebymyf rontdoor .MaEuni cecameout
running,holdi ngacaker oll
er.Shedr oppedi twhen
shr eal
izeditsj ustme.Thepani cinhereyesshows
howconcer nedshei s.Ifinallycalmeddownand
satont het i
ledar eainfrontoft hedoorandbr oke
downi nt ears.Mysecondmot herwr appedher
armsar oundmewhi lei
nsul ti
ngZi ngisathatwasno
wher enearus.Ihavenotspokent oanyoneabout
myst atusyet .ThatiswhyIsaymyf amil
ydoesnot
knowt hedamaget hatwomanhasdone.Iknow
thatHI Vi snodeat hsent encebutt oknowt hatIgot
i
tf rom someonewhowassupposet oremai ntrue
tomeandourmar riageandpr otectmeasIdi dher
hur ts.Zingi saandIt estedwaybef orewegot
mar ri
edandwewer ebot hnegat ive.Iremai ned
fai
t hfulwhi leshedi dmewr ong.Dur i
ngt hedi vorce
processshesetmeat extsayingIshoul dgot est.I
atf i
rstthoughti tsherwayofscar ingmebutIwas
wrong.Myl awyeradvi sedt hatIgoanyway.Iwent
tothedoct orf ullofconf i
dencebecauseIdi dnot
thi
nkILi yemaEl ephantcoul dtestposi t
ivef orHI V.
Myconf i
dencewaswat ereddownwhent hedoct or
saidI 'mi ndeedposi tive.Shet ookt hevirusf r
om her
par tnersandbr oughti thome.Nopai ncomescl ose
tothat ,notanyI 'veexper ienceanyway.IknowI 'm
yett oliveal ongl i
fe.IknowImi ghtdi etodayf or
reasonst ot all
yunr elatedt omyst atusbuti thas
l
imi tedmyl if
esomewhat .EventhoughI 'vehada
sexualpar tnerort woaf terIfoundout ,t
hef earof
possi blyinf ectingt hem makest heent ir
eexper ience
l
oset hemagi c.Thati swhyI '
vest oppedsl eeping
withwomenImeeteveni ftheywantanost r
ings
attached, atthebackofmymi ndIf earthecondom
wil
lbr eak.Thatisnowayt odothingssoIst ooped.
Perhapsi tsalsother easonwhyIwi l
lneverget
marriedagai n.I'
dhavet ot el
lthewomanI 'm HIV
Posit
iveandpossi blyloseherbecausewhat
negativewomanwant stobemar ri
edt osomeone
whoi sposi t
ive?Wi l
lthatwomanbehappywi t
h
usi
ngacondom f orther estofherli
fewhilemar ri
ed
tome?I '
veaccept edmyst at
usandt rybyallmeans
toli
veaheal thyli
febuthaschangedme.
[
03/
28,
17:
05]Lynne:TWENTYEI
GHT

LI
YEMA

MaEuni ceconf essedtohavingknownaboutmy

statusforawhi l
enow.Appar entlyshefoundmy
treatmentontheki t
chencount eronemorning.I
remembert hatdaywel lbutIthoughtIhadleftt
hem
ont hebedbecauset hatwaswher eIf
oundt hem.
MaEusai dsheputt hem ther
ebecausehadshel ef
t
them onthekitchencount erI
'dhaveknownt hat
shesawt hem.Iusual lykeepthem inthesafebutI
musthavehadal otonmymi ndt hatday.What
shockedmewashowi nfor medshei swheni t
comest oHI VE/ AIDS.Notoncehassheshownme
pitybecausesheunder st andst hatI 'm notsi ck.Yes,
I'
ml i
vi ngwi ththevi r
usbutI '
m heal t
hi ert hanmost
peopl ewhoar enegat ive.Ihadt ot ellhert heent i
re
stor yabouthowIgoti nf ected.Thehat eshehas
towar dsZi ngisabecamemor ei ntense.I tfeltgood
tot ellsomeoneaboutmyst at
us.Iwi shIwasas
i
nf ormedasMaEuni cei swhenIf oundout .Itwould
havesavedmeal otofhear tachebecauseIt hought
Iwasgoi ngt odie.Idr ankmysor rowsawaywhi ch
mademesi ckbecauseal coholandt reat mentdo
notgohandi nhand.Iwasi nvitedt ochur chbyan
oldf riendandIneverst oppedgoi ngsi nce.I fitwas
notf orchur chIwoul dbeadr unkar dr ightnowor
evendead.Changi ngmyl i
festylewasnoteasy
becauseIhadt ogi veupal ot.Theboozet hatwas
myescapef rom myper sonalhel lhadt ogo,
const ant lyeatingjunkhadt ogo.Ihavenothada
singl edr opofal coholi nf iveyear s, Igot ogym as
oftenasmyschedul eal lowsmeandIeatheal t
hy.I
nol ongerhat ebei ngHI Vposi tivebecauset hatwill
notmakemenegat i
veagai n.WhatIdohat ei sthat
factt hatt hepersonwhoi nfect edmewant i
ngust o
wor kt hingsoutaf teral lthathappened.Iwasf orced
tocal lherbossandr epor therbehavi or.MrTom
handl edt hesi t
uat ionpr ofessi onal l
ybecausehe
doesnotwantt hedr amaoneempl oyeecausest o
affectoutwor krelationshi pandt hecar eersoft he
youngpeopl ewear ewor kingwi th.Zingisabei ng
Zingisawoul dnotl ett hingsr estandhasbeen
comi ngt otheof ficeandt omyhouse.Ihadt ot ell
secur itytonotl etheri nandgotherapr ot
ect i
on
order .I'
m notaf rai dofher ,I'
m mor eaf r
aidofwhatI
mi ghtdoshoul dshepushmet ot heedge.She
bringsoutt hewor sti nmeandper hapssomedayI
won' tfeelangerandhat et owar dsherbutnott oday.
Myf eari sthatshewi l
lgoar oundt ell
ingpeopl ethat
I'
m HI Vposi t
ive.Thebusi nesswor ldissmal lso
rumor sspr eadf ast.Idon' twantanyofmybusi ness
associ atest oknowaboutmyst atusbecauset here
areal otofpeopl ewhoar enoteducat edenough
aboutHI V.Somemi ghtevent aket heirbusiness
elsewher eduet onotbei ngaboutt owor ki
ngwi th
anHI Vposi tiveman.Ther ewi l
lbet hefewwhowi ll
pit
ymeandt hati
st helastthingIwant .The
decisi
ont otelmyf ami l
yknowwasnotaneasyone
tomakebutIwantt odoi t.Iknowt hi
ngsmi ghtnot
bethesameaf ter
war dbutI 'vedealtwit
hwor se.Ma
Eunicehelpedmepr eparet hefoodbef oregoing
home.Idon' tthi
nkIappr eciatet hi
swomanmuch.
Shehasbeeni nmyl i
fesinceIwassi xyearsold.As
soonasIgotmyownpl aceandwasabl etoaf for
d
herservicesshestoppedwor ki
ngf ormypar ents
andcamet owor kforme.Icoul dnotevenaf ford
themoneyshegotf rom thepar entsbutshest uck
withmeunt ilIwasf inal
lyabl etopayherwhatshe
deserves.

Myner vesaregett
ingt hebet t
erofme.I tseems
witheachsecondt hatpassest heybecomewor se.
I'
m evenconsi der
ingcancel ing.Howwi l
ltheyreact
tothenewsofhavi nganHI Vpositivesonand
brother?Thedoorbel lrangandIt ookonel astdeep
breathbef or
egoingt oopen.Mma' sexcitement
fi
ll
edsmi l
emademef eellessafraid.Taishisusual
self
, helooksannoyedal ready.Lungi l
ecame
runningt othedoorandwr appedhi sarmsaround
bothMmaandTa' sshoulder s.Mmacoul dnot
containherj oybecauseit
snotever ydaywear eall
togetherandi ti
snoteverydayI '
mt heone
responsibleforgetti
ngusal ltogether.Mmagave
met hechocol atecakeshebr oughtfordeser
tandI
l
etthem i n.Lungil
ecutasliceoft hecakeand
stuff
edi tint
ohismout handi tworkedonMma' s
nerve.

Mma:“Lungi
,nomat hati
snothowthi
ngsaredone.
Sot
ellmewhenwi llwemeetthisgi
rl
?”,
shesai
d
whi
letaki
ngthecakeawayf r
om him.

Lungi
:“WhenI
'
mreadyt
olobol
aher
.”
Ta:“Asifthatwil
leverhappen”
,hesaid
sarcast
icall
y.“
Liyemahowi sbusi
ness?”

Li
yema:“
It
'sgr
eat
,Tat
hanksandyour
s?”
Ta:“Goingfr
om str
engtht ost
rengt
h.Ther
eisthi
s
youngmanwhoi sjustbreat
hslawandohdoeshe
knowit.I'
mtell
ingyou,soonhemi ghtbeapar
tner”

Li
yema:“That
'sgood.Hemustknowhisst
uff
becauseyouarenoteasyt
oimpress”

Ta:“
I'
m easytoi
mpressi
fpeoplej
ustdi
dthi
ngst
he
wayIwantthem t
oandnotstr
ayaway”
Lungi
:“WhydoIf
eel
li
ket
hatwasaper
sonalat
tack
onus?”
Lungi
:“I
ftheshoef
it
s,myboy”
Mma:“
Nobusi
nesst
alk”

Lungi
:“Whenheiswit
husit'
sal
waysaboutt
hat
”,
hesai
dwhilel
ookingatTa.

Ta:“
Am I“
he”t
oyounow,
nol
ongerTat
a?”
Lungi
:“Woul
dyouhavepr
efer
redIsai
d“she”
?”

Ta:“Don'tyoudar
etalkt
omel i
keI'
m yourpeer
.You
arenottoooldtobetaughtmanner
s,boy.Youdon'
t
comei nt
omydamnhous. .
.”

Lungi
:“Youarebutavi
sit
ori
nthi
sone”
.Tast
ood
andrushedoutsi
dei
nanger.

Mma:“
Wast
hatnecessar
y,Lungi
le?
”

Lungi
:“I
t'
shisf aul
t.Bhut
iwhydidn'
tyoucal
lme
andMmaonl y?Youknowhowt ensethi
ngscanget
wit
hhim around”

Li
yema:“I'
m star
ti
ngtothi
nkImadeami st
ake
i
ndeed.Ican'
thandleyouguystoget
her
.Youare
mucheasiertobewithinoneononemeeti
ngs”
Mma:“
Hei
sjustst
ressed.I
'
llgogethi
m”

Lungi:“Whymusthecausedr amaandwebet he
onest ogobeghimtocalm down?It
'sbeenl
ikethi
s
si
ncewewer eki
ds.WeonlylaughwhenTalaughs
becausewecan'tbehappywhenhei snothappy.
Lethim st
ayinhisexpensi
vecarmaybeitwil
lm...
”
Mma:Stopi
t!Youwillnotwi
shbadonyourf
ather
”,
shesai
dwhi
lepoint
ingathim.

Lungi:“
Iwasgoingtosaymaybei twi
ll
miracul
ouslyser
vehimfood.It
hinkthati
swel
l
wishes,Mma”.Mmacl i
ckedhert
onguei n
fr
ustrat
ionandwentout.

Liyema:“Thedramat hatf
oll
owsyouguy.Whyar e
wel i
kethis?Surel
ywecanf oronenightactasi
fwe
l
ikeeachot her
”,Isai
dwhilebrushi
ngmyf acewit
h
myhands.
Lungi
:“I
'
m sor
ry,
Bhut
i”
,hesai
dsi
ncer
ely.

Lungi l
eandmysel fsoont urnedt heconver sat ion
i
ntoaj okeandl aughedunt i
loureyest earedmy
brotherseemshappyandnot hi ngbeat sthat.Ta
fi
nallycal meddownaf terMmabeggedhi mt o.
Shoul dn'tthewi febet hedr amat icone?Idon' tknow
howmymot heri sabl et ostaymar r
iedwi th
someonet hisupt ight.Mostpeopl esayI '
ml ikehi m
butther eisnowayI 'ml iket his.Il ooklikehim butI
don'tactl ikehi m.Webot hhavei ntense
personal i
tiesbutt heycoul dnotbemor ediffer ent
.
Mmahel pedmeser vet hef oodandweat einpeace.
Lungimadesur ehedi shesoutt hej okes.Though
mostwer edr y,itfeltgoodt ol augh.Tawant edt ogo
homeaf tereat inghi sf oodsayi nghehasal otof
workwai ti
ngf orhi m athome.Iaskedt hatwegosi t
downi nthel oungef i
rstbecauseIhavet otel lthem
somet hing.Myhear tfeel slikei tsaboutt obeatout
ofmychest .Mypar entssatopposi temeandLungi
nextt ome.It ookadeepbr eat handt oldthem what
Icalledthem her efor.Lungi lefacedownwhi le
holdi
nghisshinybal
dheadi nhishands.Mmacan't
spotcryi
ng,i
twasast houghI'
vejustannounced
thedeathofalovedone.Ta'
sfacedis
expressi
onl
ess.

Lungi
le:“
Iloveyou,
bro”
,heouthi
sar
m ar
oundmy
shoul
derandhuggedme.

Liyema:“Il
oveyou,man”,
Ihadtobl
inkawaymy
tears.Mmacryingandnotsayi
ngawordmade
thingsdi
ffi
cul
t.

Mma:“ Youseewhatthatgi
rldi
dtoourboy?Inyour
eyesshecandonot hi
ngwrong.Wellshegavemy
chil
dHIV.Iwil
lneverf
orgi
veyou,Lubabal
o”,she
saidbetweensobs.

Li
yema:“
Mmamyaim wasnottocausepr
oblems
bet
weenyout
wo.Ij
ustwantmyfamil
ytoknow”
Mma:“
Hadhenotf
orcedyout
omar
ryt
hatt
hing,
wewouldnotbeher
erightnow”,
shesaidwhi
le
poi
nti
ngatTawhostil
lsatmoti
onless.

Lungi
:“Mybrotherdoesnotneedthisri
ghtnow.
Youheardhi
m, he'snotdyi
ng.Stopcryi
ngli
keyou
j
ustfoundouthehasadayt olive,
Mma.Goar gue
athometoogeez”

Mma:“Iwil
lsl
apyou.Youforgetwhotheparent
s
areher
eIsee.YouIwil
lneverfor
giveyouf
orwhat
youhavedone”

Ta:“
SoLi
yemahavi
ngAi
dsi
smyf
aul
t?”
Lungi
l:“
HedoesnothaveAI
DS”

Ta:“Youshutyourdamnmout h.I'
vetoler
atedyou
disr
espectingmeallni
ghtl
ongbuti tst
opsnow” ,
he
stoodreadytopunchLungibutIstoodbetween
them t
ost ophi
m.
Lungi
:Bhu,I'
l
lcomebyt omorr
owagai
nwhenyou
areal
one.Ican'
tst
andthisanymor
e.Checkyou”
,he
shookmyhandandl ef
t.

Ta:“
I'
m goi
ngt
oo”
,het
ookhi
skeys.

Mma:“I
'
m goi
ngt osleepheret
onight
.Ican'
tbe
wi
thsomeoneresponsibl
eformakingm..
.”

Ta:“I
'
m notresponsibl
eforthi
s.Li
keyou'vet ol
dme
manyt i
mesthatLiyemawasnotr esponsiblefor
Lul
onke'sdeath,
wellI'
mt heonetoblamef orthi
s
ei
ther.

Mma:“ Wel
lthatwasl
owLubabal
o.”
,Tagr
unt
edi
n
angerbef
orerushi
ngout
.

Mmat
ri
edt
ohugmebutIwasnoti
nthemood.I
wentupst airsf il
ledwi t
hr egret.Iknewmyf ather
woul dreacti nanegat i
vewaybutt obr i
ngLul ointo
i
twasuncal l
edf or.Ilockdt hedoorbehi ndmeas
soonasIent eredmybedr oom.It ookof fmy
clothesandheadedf orashower .Oncet hesteamy
hotwat ert ouchedmyski nallthebadmemor iesof
Lulo'sdeat hcamer ushingt omymi nd.Itwasa
quietnightandIwasbusypr epar ingf ormyf i
nal
exam.Bot hLul oandIwer edoinggr adeel evenback
then.Shehadf inishedherexam adaybef oreme
anddeci dedt osneakoutwi t
houtanyoneknowi ng.
Thehousephonekeptr ingingt hatni ghtandmuch
tomyf r ustrat i
onbecauseIwast ryi
ngt ost udy.The
personont heot herlinewasper sistentandnoone
elseseemedt obeawaket oanswert hephonesoI
wentt ot hel ounget oanswer .Onet heot herli
ne
wasat errif
iedLul owhowassupposet ohavebeen
asleepathomebuti nsteadwasoutdr inkingwi th
fri
ends.Shegoti ntosomet roubl eandt hepeopl e
shewentwi thabandonedherandt hatmeantshe
hadnowayofcomi ngbackhomebecauseshewas
ont heot herendoft own.Shebeggedmet ogoget
herwi t
houtt hepar ent sknowi ng.Ihadal ready
l
ear nedhowt odr i
vebuthadnol i
censebutmy
sisterneededmesoi tjustmadesensef ormet o
stealmyf ather'scarandgogether .Imovedqui ckly
becauseIdi dnotwantanyonewaki ngup.I
managedt ogett hecaroutoft heyar dwi t hout
waki ngt hepar entsup.Idr ovetowher eshesai d
shewasandf oundhersaf e.Shewasscar edand
coldbecauseonecoul dbar el
ycal lwhatshehadon
clothes.Wegoti ntot hecarandIdr oveascar efull
y
aspossi bl
ef oll
owi ngeachr uleoft her oadasmy
fathertaughtme.Iwasaboutt omakeat ur nast he
robot sturnedgr eenbutanoncomi ngcarski ppeda
redl i
ghtanddr ovei nt ous.Hedr over i
ghti nto
Lulo'sside.Thi ngswentbl ankf oraf ewseconds
butIcamet osoonaf ter.Therewer ef l
ashi ngl ights
allaroundt hecar .Ilookedt ochecki fLulowas
okay.Al lIcoul dseewasmet alandnoLul o.Hel p
cameandIwassooncutoutoft hecarwai tingfor
them t odot hesamewi thmysi ster.Thepar amedic
keptongoi ngonabouthowImustgett hecuri nmy
foreheadcheckout .Iwentmadont hem andmade
allkindsoft hreat siftheydi dnott akemysi sterout.
Onemant oldmet hatLul ogotcr ushedbyt hecar .
Myent i
rewor ldcol l
apsedf rom r ightundermyf eet
thatnight.Irememberr unningt ot hepassenger
sidewher etheywer ebusycut tingpar tsoft hecar
togetherout .AllIsawwasbl ood.Thebl oodofmy
own.Thepol icear ri
vedandaskedmeal otof
questions.Irememberbeggi ngt hem t oar restme
forwhatI '
vedonewhi l
esobbi ngl ikenoot her .My
parentswer ecal ledandmyr elationshi pwi thmy
fatherwasnevert hesameagai n.Per hapst hatthe
reasonwhyIdi dever ythi
nghewant edmet o
becausei tfeltli
keIhadt omakeupf orwhatIdi d,
forkil
li
nghi sonl ydaught er.Itwasadar ktimef or
myf ami l
ybutwepat chedthingsupsomehow.I t
turnedoutt hedr iverwasdr unkandIst il
ldon' t
knowwhyIdi dnotgetar rested.Mmakepton
sayingitwasbecauseIwasunder ageandi twasan
accident.Thatmi ghtbet ruebuti twasanacci dent
thatcamewi thagr eatprice.Ilostmyt winsi ster
thatnightandIknowIwasnotr esponsi blef orthe
accidentbutIcoul dnothel pbutbl amemysel f.
Aftertonight,Iknowt hatTast illblamesmeaswel l.
Ikeptonsayi ng“ Tai sgoingt oki l
lyouf orthis
shouldhef indout ”toLulo, onlyt ohavemebei ng
theonet oki llher.Isillrememberherl astwor ds
“youwon' ttel lonme.Wewi l
lsneaki nagai n, sleep
andwakeupt omor rowast houghnot hing
happened.Youl ovemet oomucht osni t
chonme,
twinzy” , wer eherl astwor dsbef oreshepl ant edher
fullsof tlipsonmycheek.Thewat ert hatf lewdown
mybodywasnowmi xedwi thmyt ear st oo.Imi ss
her .Iwonderwhatshewoul dhavebecomehadher
l
ifenotbeencutshor t.HadInotpl ayedher oand
toldonheri nsteadsot hepar entscoul dgogether ,
woul dshest i
llhavebeenal ive?It r
iedt ot hinkwhy
Tawoul dbr i
ngt hatupt onightofal lnight sandI
realizedwhy.I t
'sourbi rthdayt omor row.Ihavenot
celebr atedi tsi nceshedi ed.Whywoul dI ?I
under stoodwher eTa'spai ncamef rom t oni ght .He
misseshert oo.I '
m notangr yathi mf orhavi ng
broughtherupt onight .Weal lmissherand
tomor rowwi l
lbeadar kdayf orallofswi thal lthi
s
tensi ongoi ngonandi tbei ngmi neandLul onke' s
birthday.Isomet i
mespr ayf orhert ogi vemeasi gn
thatshehasf orgi
venmebutI '
m stillwai ting.Ineed
toknowt hatshei si nabet terplaceandt hatshe
doesnotbl ameme.Maybet hatwi llmakemel etgo
oft
hebur
denofgui
ltI
'
vebeenf
eel
ing.Imi
ssher
.

NTOMBI

Thef i
veofuhavemanagedt omakei ttomont h
sevenandt woweeks.I 'vebeenhavi ngsever e
Braxt onHi cksthatmademydoct orthinkt heywer e
ont heirwaybuti tseemst hesel i
ttl
eonesj ustlike
attention.Ihavehadt or eturntohospi talaf ew
timesunf or tunat
elybecausemybl oodpr essure
justwoul dnotst abili
ze.Makhul uhasbeenpr aying
l
ikeneverbef or
eandsohaveI .Thehospi t
alstaff
arer eadyf ormej ustincaseIgoi ntol abour .My
aimi sst i
lltocarryuntileightmont hsbecauseI
knowni nei sjustnotgoi ngt ohappen.Mybodyi s
soreandI 'vespendmostoft hispr egnancyi nbed
resting.I'
m hugeandIsuspectI 'm yett ogai nmor e
wei ght.Wewer ehavingdi nnerwhenIf eltashar p
painandpassedi toffasanot herf al
seal arm.
Makhul umusthavenot i
cedmydi scomf ortbecause
sheaskedi fI'
mf i
ne.Itol dheri t
'sthebr axtonhicks
again.SheaskedTamkhul ut ogocal lYanda, t
he
neighborwhohasbeenourdr i
vert ocomet akeus
tohospi tal.Itriedt ot ellheri t'snotnecessar ybut
sher emi ndedmet hatI '
m nothavi ngausual
pregnancy.Yandacameandei ghtofusr ushedt o
hospi t
al.Isayei ghtbecauset helittl
eonesar e
peopl etoo.Makhul uwasr ight,it
'snotanot herf al
se
alarm.Thi spai nf eeldi f
f erent ,morei ntense.Iwas
sil
ent l
ypr ayingf orthem al ltobeokay.Wear rived
atthehospi t
alandMakhul ut oldTamkhul ut ogoin
andgethel p.Thest affr ushedoutwi t
hawheel chair
.
I'
m sur etheyknewi twasmebecausewehave
becomer esident satt hehospi tal
.Thenur ses
helpedmeont hewheel chai rwhenIhear done
shout“ she' sbl eeding” .Ist artedt ocr ybecauseI
thoughtIwasgoi ngtol oset hem.Af terallthe
mont hswegott hr ought heycan' tgiveupnow.My
doctorwascal l
edandsoont herewer ealotof
handsal loverme.I '
m conf usedandcr yi
ngatt he
samet i
me.Theyt oldust hatanemer gencyC-
sectionhadt odoneandt heywoul dhavet oputme
tosleepcompl etely.Iwashopi ngt heywoul djust
numbmybot tom par tsoI '
dbepr esentwhent hey
arebor nbutmydoct orknewbest .Iwaspr epar ed
fort heaterandanoxygenmastwasputovermy
mout handnose.Thef earIam f eeli
ngcannotbe
descr i
bed.If ear edf ormyl ifeandf orthoseoft he
babi es.If eltdr owsyandsoonf ellasleep.Icl osed
myeyesknowi ngt hatIhavegr andpar entsont heir
kneespr ayi ng.Suddenl yIwasi nabr ightli
tt heater
room butt hel ightdi dnotcomef r
om t helight s
abovemet hatmakesur edoct orsseewhatar e
doing.Shei sst andi ngaboveme.Icannotseeher
wel lbutIcoul dseehert eethbecauseshei ssmi li
ng.
Shewentt ost andnextt ot hedoct or.Shehel dup
onef inger,thenaf terawhi lehel dupt woandt hen
threeandt henf our.Theexci tementonherf ace
whi lehol dingupt hef ourf i
nger swascont agi ous
becauseIsmi ledt oo.Shej umpedupanddownst i
ll
holdi ngthef ourf inger sandsmi l
ing.She
disappear edi ntot hinai rbutl eftmef eeli
ngcal m.

Istr
uggl
edtoopenmyeyes.Itf
eel
sasthough
someoneiscl
osi
ngthem assoonasIt
rytoopen
them.
Makhulu:Ntombi?
”,Ihear
dhervoi
cefrom af
ar.
“Ntombikayi
se”
,Ifi
nall
ymanagedtohearher
proper
ly.

Nt
ombi
:“Ma”
,Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Makhul
u:“
Howareyoufeel
ing?”
,shest
oodand
f
acedme.Shesmi
ledandkissedmyforehead.

Ntombi:“
Iwasi
nlabor
.Wher
ear
ethey?Ar
etheyal
l
okay?
”

Makhulu:“
Allfourofthem ar
eal
iveandwell,my
baby.Theyaresmallsotheyputthem i
nincubat
ors.
Wewer emorewor ri
edaboutyou”

Nt
ombi
:“Why?
”,Iaskedandt
hedoct
orwal
kedi
n.
Doct
or:“I
t'
sgoodtoseeyouawake.Youscar
edus
t
hereforaminut
e.”

Nt
ombi
:“Why?
”

Doct
or:“
Ther
ewerecomplicat
ions,
Ntombi
.Uhm
howdoIputthi
s?”
,heaskedhimself
.

Nt
ombi:“Gi
veitl
ikei
tis,
Doc.”.t
hedoct
orand
Makhul
ulookedateachother
.

Doct or
:“Youwer ebleedingser veryfr
om t heti
me
youcamei n.Itcausedal otofcompl icati
ons.Fora
secondwet houghtwewoul dl oseyouandoneof
thebabies.Duet othenonst opbleeding, wewere
forcedtoper f
orm ahyster ectomyt ostopi t
.We
tri
edalltheotheropt i
ons,thiswasourl astandonl
y
optiontosaveyou”
Nt
ombi
:“Whati
sahys.
..
hyst
e..
.”

Doct
or:“Hyst
erect
omyi
sther
emovaloft
heut
erus,
meaningthewomb”

Mywor l
dcamecr ushingdown.It houghtt hatmy
wombhadheal edsomehowbuti tturnsouti twas
onlyhangingbyat hreadsoI '
dcarryt hebabies.I
don'thaveawomb.I 'veneverhear dofawoman
withoutawomb.Iknowsomewomencan' thave
kidsbuttheyhavewombs.Makhul ucr iedmore
thanIam.It hinki t'
sbecausesher ealizesthatthe
quadrupletsaremyf irstandlastchildrenandt hey
arenotevenmi ne.I '
m sorebutaskedt hem totake
met oseet hem babi es.Thedoct orsai dIneededto
restmor eaft
ert hepr ocurerbutIhadt oseethem.
Aftergreatdebat ehef inal
lygaveinandor ganized
formet obet akent ot hem.Thenur sesandot her
staffcongratul
atedme.Thedoct orpushedmet o
thewar dthebabi esar ein.heshowedmemyf our
,
wellLiyema' sf our.Twoar etwoset sofi dentical
twins.Oneoft hebabi eshast ubesi nhi snose.I
askedt hedoct orwhyandamachi nenextt othe
i
ncubat ormadeasoundandt hedoct orr ushedt o
him.Idon' tknowwher eIgott hest r
engt hbutI
managedt ost and.Thenur set urnedhi sheadgent l
y
andst artedtor ubhi sar ms, l
egsandback.Iasked
thedoct orwhati sgoingonandhesai dthebaby' s
breathinghaspausedandi tmi ghtl astupt o15
seconds.Whywoul dhi sbr eat hingpause?The
doctorsai dhisl ungshavenotdevel opedaswel l
as
theotherboys.Iwat chedwhi let henur ser ubbed
hisli
ttl
ef eetandaf teraf ewsecondsshesai dhe' s
breathingagai n.Thehor rorstor iesonpubl i
c
hospitalsandhowsomebabi esdi edint heircare
hauntedmymi nd.Thedoct orsai dhemi ght
outgrowi tasheget solderbuti tistoomuchf orme
tohandl e.Ican' tstandt oseehi m st opbr eathing
againandwat chwhi l
et heyt ryt ost i
mul at ehis
breathingagai n.Thenur seaskedi fIwant edt otr
y
kangar oocar ebecausei tisgoodf orpr emat ure
babies.Iaskedhert oshowme, ifitwi l
lhel pI'
lldoit.
Sheputt hebabywi t
hbr eat hingpr oblem onmy
chestandt ookhisident i
caltwinandpl acedhi m
nexttohim.Hemadesur ethatwewer eall
comf or
tableandwar m.Theyar et inyandt oseet he
tubeintheone'snosebr okemyhear t.Theirarms
touchedandi tisthemostbeaut ifult hing.Tohave
them onmychestmademef allinl ove.Howcoul dI
not?Afterandhourt henur sepl acest heothertwo
onmychest .Theycar ri
edmor ewei ghtandl ooked
abitbigger.Tearsstartedtof l
owdownmycheeks
andthenur secomf ortedmebysayi ngIcanr el
ax
theyarefine.ThatthisApneai nf ectiononeoft hem
haswi l
lbet r
eatedwithcar e.

Nt
ombi :“
IfIhaveanopt
ionoft
aki
ngthem t
oa
pr
ivat
ehospitalwoul
dyouadvi
cei
t?”

Nurse:“Yes,
it'
snosecr ett
hatpubli
chealt
hcare
takessecondbestt opr i
vat
ecare.Ifyoucant
hen
haveyourchildrentransfer
red.
”,shesaidwhi
le
checki
ngonot herbabies.
Aftert wohour sofpur emagi c.Magi cist heonl y
wor dIcant hinkofwhenIt hinkabouthavi ng
my. .
.Liyema' schi l
drenonmychest .Thenur se
suggest edt hatIr estandcomebackt ot ryand
breast feed.I t'
s5am andt heywer ebor nat1: 33am.I
askedt henur seifmygr andpar entscol dcomei n
andmeett hem.Sheal l
owedi tandi twasl oveat
fi
rstsi ghtf orMkahul u.Ican' tblameher .Tamkhul u
wasqui etandwhenIaskedhesai dher ef usest o
openhi shear ttothem onl ytohavet hem goagai n
l
eavi ngt hem br okenhear t
edbecausei twi l
lremi nd
him oft het i
memymot herlef t.Hest oodatt hedoor
notwant ingtocomecl oset ot heincubat or.Itbroke
myhear tbutIunder standwher ehei scomi ngf r
om.
Makhul uont heot herhandwasput ti
ngherhandi n
eachi ncubat orgr eeti
ngeachbabyandt hanki ng
Godf ort heirgoodheal th.Weexpl ainedt oherwhy
onehasat ubei nhi snose.Shepl acedbot hher
handsont het opoft heincubat orandst artedt o
pray.Themomentwasbeaut ifulbutr ealityhas
come.Ihavet ocal lLiyemaandhavehi mt r
ansf er
them t oapr ivatehospi tal
.I'm gr atefulforal lthe
publichospi taldidf orusbutt heydeser vebet ter
care.Makhul upleadedwi t
hmet owai tjustadayor
twobef oreIcallfearingt hatLiyemawoul dt ake
them assoonashear rives.Hei sgoingt ot ake
them andi t
'sbesthedoesi tnowwhi l
ewear en'
tt oo
attached.Mywor dslef tmygr andmot hercr yingand
mygr andfatherwal kedoutt her oom.Iapol ogized
butt oldMakhul uwhyi tshouldbedone.I '
m sur e
Tat awi l
larri
vewhent heyar egoneal ready.Ihope
thathewi l
lforgivemef orbreakingal ltheirhear ts.
Makhul ugavemeherphoneandIdi aledLi yema' s
number .Thepai nI '
mf eel i
ngisuni magi nabl ebutI
don' twantdr ugsf orthepai nbecauset heywi l
l
makemesl eep.Ineedt otellLiyemabef oreIpass
out.Thphoner angandwentunanswer ed.It ri
ed
onceagai nandagai nandagai nbutnol uck.Idi aled
Mr sEl ephantsnumber .Perhapsshecoul dcal lhi m
andgethi mt otakemycal ls.Sheanswer edqui ckly.

Ntombi:“
Mai t
'smeNt ombi.Pleasedonothangup.
Thisi
simportant
”,Ispokequicklybef
oreshecoul
d
endthecall
.
MrsEl ephant
:“Ntombithi
sisnottherightti
me.If
youwantt oapologi
zetohim pleasewai taweekor
so,please.Wehadar oughnightyest
er dayandI
don'tevenwanttoimaginehowhewi l
lbewhenhe
wakesupbecause. ..
because.
..
”

Ntombi:“
Ma,thi
sismorethenjustanapology.This
i
sbetweenli
feanddeath.Pl
easecallhi
m andt el
l
hi
mt oanswerthecal
lsfr
om the061number ”,I
pl
eaded.

Mr sEl
ephant
:“I
'm athi
shouse.Tellmewhatitis
thenwhenhewakesupI 'l
ltel
lhi
m”, shesai
d.Idi
d
notwanttodoitbutIhavenochoice.

Ntombi:“TheIVFwasasuccess,Ma.Pleasetell
himthatIneedhimtocometoPeddieandt ransfer
thebabiestoapri
vat
ehospit
al.Oneisnotdoingso
well
”,Iheardacuporpl
atebreakaf
terItol
dher .
MrsEl
ephant:“
Don'
tpl
aywi
thusl
iket
hat
.Whatdo
youmean?”

Ntombi
:“ImeanLiyemahasj ustbecomeaf
athert
o
f
ourbeauti
full
it
tl
eboys.Ineedhimt o.
..
”

Icouldnotf ini
shmysent encebecauset hepainI '
m
i
nwon; tall
owmet o.Icalledforhelpandanur se
showed.Mybodyst artedt oshakeandI 'm heat i
ng
upbyt hesecond.Thedoct orcamer ushingin.he
keptshout i
ngmynameandopenedmyeyesand
fl
ashedi twithsomel ight.Icouldnotr espondt ohis
callsbecauseIcoul dnol ongerheart hem.Icanst i
ll
feelmybodyshakeunt ilInolongercoul d.If
bringi
ngt hechildreni
nt othewor l
dthel astthingI
hadt odo, t
heni twaswor t
hit.
[
03/
28,
17:
05]Lynne:TWENTYNI
NE

LI
YEMA
Af ewdaysagoMamacameknocki ngonon
bedroom doorl ikeamadwoman.It houghtshe
fearedI '
dki l
ledmysel fbecauseofwhathappened
thepr eviousni ghtbutshet oldmesomet hingI
woul dneverhavei magi nedwoul dhappen.Atf i
rstI
thoughtNt ombiwaspl ayingasi ckgameonce
againbutMmaconvi ncedmet ogoandseef ormy
owneyes.Shebookedf li
ght sforust hesameday
andwehi redacart oPeddi e.I'
veneverbeent othat
partoft heEast ernCape.Whenwegott otge
hospi talandaskedf orNt ombi kayisePot it
hest aff
knewexact lywhowewer easki ngf or.Call
ingher
"thequadmom" .Theycal l
edanel derlywomanf or
usani ntroducedherasNt ombi 'sgrandma.Theol d
womanaskedwhowewer eandMmawasqui ckto
say" he'st hef atherofNt ombi '
sboys" .Icouldsee
theel der l
ycoupl ewasnotpl easedt oseeme.I
askedt oseet hebabiesandbecauseNt ombisai d
I'
mt hef athertheyhasnochoi cebutt ol
etmei n.
MmaandIwer epreppedt ogoseet hem.Shecr i
ed
thesecondshel aideyesont hem, tearsofjoy.They
l
ookedsmal landt henur seexpl ainedt hemedi cal
condi ti
onoft heonewho' sbr eathingpauses.Mma
saidIshoul di mmedi atelyar rangef ort hem t obe
airl
if
tedt oCapeTown.Ihaddoubt saboutt heir
paternity.Whocoul dbl ameme?Foral lIknowt hey
arethisDeBongz' schi ldren.Idon' ttrustNt ombiat
all
.Irequest edf oraDNAsampl eofoneandsenti t
fortesting.Thel abcal ledsayi ngt hatt het estsar e
ready, theyar ei ndeedmi ne.Mma:" Idon' tknow
whyyoubot hered.Isawt heyar eour st hesecondI
walkedi n.Theset wol ookl ikeyouandt heot hert wo
l
ookl ikeLungiandLul o.Theyar ebeaut iful.Make
call
sLi yema, theyneedt obeseenbyspeci ali
sts
justincase. "Icoul dhearheri nstructmet omake
planst omovet hem t oCapeTownbutIcoul dn't
move.Mmat ookoutherphoneandmadeacal l.I
walkedcl osert ot heincubat orst ot akeagoodl ook
atthem.Myboys.Thr eeyoungEl ephantmen, wel l
notreal lymenyet .Ifeel badf orhavi ngt hem t ested
tochecki ftheyar emi nebutci rcumst ancesf orced
met odoi t
.Whydi dNt ombinotcont actmewhi le
shewasst il
lpr egnant ?Shoul dt heygr owup
knowi ngt hatIwasnott heredur ingt het imeNt ombi
waspr egnantwi t
ht hem, t
heymi ghtt hinkIdi dn't
wantt hem.WhenIhear edaboutt hewoman
pregnantwi thf ourbabi esfrom JackyIwonder ed
whatIwoul dhavedonehadIbeent hef ather .I
touchedeachl ittlehandandi tbr okemyhear tthat
oneoft hem issi ck.Mmawal kedbacki nsayi ngthat
shehasar r
angedf orever ything.Wet ol dt hehead
oft hehospi talthatwear et akingt hem t oCape
Town.Thedoct orwhodel iveredt hem t riedt o
convi nceusi t'sabadi deabutMmaassur edt hem
theywi llbei ngr earcar e.Ar et her eincubat orsin
theset hings?Thel astt hi
ngIwanti sf ormyboyst o
freeze.Thedoct orwentonabouthowNt ombii s
stillunconsci ousandt herefor ewecan' tt akeher
babi esunt i
lsheagr ees.Herbabi es?Ishowedt hem
thecont ractsi gnedbyNt ombiandI .Theyt ooka
documentt hathadhetsi gnat uret ocompar eand
ver if
yitsher sandt hesi gnat uresmat ched.
Nt ombi '
sgr andpar entswer ecal l
edi nandher
grandmot hercal l
edmeever yinsul t
ingwor dunder
thesun.Theol dmant riedt ost opherbutf ail
ed.Ma
Ml andu:Af teral lthatmychi l
ddi df oryoupeopl e
thisi showyout hankher ?" ,shesai dwi tht earsin
hereyes.Mma:" Mysonappr eciatesal lthatNt ombi
hasdone, Mabutsheknewwhatshewasget ting
her selfinto. "MaMl andu:" You' vebeenher efordays
andnotoneofyouaskedabouther .Shegaveyou
whatyouwant edsonowshecanj ustgot ohel l
,
ri
ght ?"Li yema:" Makhul u,Nt ombical ledmymot her
tot ellhert ocomegett hechi ldren.Howel sedoyou
thinkweknewwher et ofindt hem? ",Iaskedcal mly.
Mma:" AndIaskedherdoct orhowshei sandwhat
waswr ongwi thherbutt heykeptonsayi ngits
conf ident i
al .Idocar eaboutyourchi ld, MaandI
under standyourpai n"MaMl andu:" I
si tyour
daught erlayi ngi nahospi talbedwhi leyouwor ry
aboutwhet herornotshewi l
lwakeupt henextday
youvi sit?".IcanseeMaMl andu' swor dshi tdeep
becauseshel ookedsad.TaMl andu:" Youwi llmake
your selfsi ck, dear .PleasewhenNt ombiwakesup
sheneedsust obest rong",hepl eadedwi thhi swi f
e.
Liyema:" Thankyouf orunder st anding, Tata"Ma
Ml andu:" Under stand?Yout hinkmyhusband
avoi dingconf l
ictisunder standi ng.I '
m notaf raidof
youpeopl e.Mychi ldi sinther ewi t
houtawomb
becauseshegavebi rthtoyourchi l
dr en.Doyou
under standwhywecan' tunder stand, Liyema? ".I
didnotexpecthert osayt hat .Nt ombil osther
womb?MaMl anduf ellbackont hechai rbehi ndher
butherhusbandandIact edqui cklyenought o
ensur et hatwehel dherf orsuppor tandgent lyput
herdownont hechai r.Sheaggr essivelyr aisedher
arm andpushedmeaway.Iunder standwher eshe
comesf rom.Shemostpr obabl ysuppor tedNt ombi
throughherpr egnancy.Fel tt heboyski ckandal l
thosemagi calmoment sIcoul dnotbeapar tof.I'
m
grat efultoNt ombibecauseshecoul dhaveabor t
ed
them butshedi dnot .Toheart hatshel osther
uter usaf tergivingbi rthcutmedeep.Imaynot
wantheri nourl ivesbutI '
m notani mal ,Ifeelf orher.
Mmapul l
edmeasi de.Mma: "Let'stakeNt ombit oa
bet terhospi t
alwi t
hspeci al
istst oo"Li yema:" Mma
I'
m al readygoi ngt ospendhugeamount sofmoney
tomakesur emyboysar etakencar eof .I'
m sor ry
butIcan' taffordt ohaveNt ombigot oapr ivate
hospi talinanot herpr ovinceonmyexpense"Mma:
"Youf orgetthatyouhaveal egalobl igatiot odoso,
Liyema.Doyouwantt hesepeopl et osueyou?Look
att hatpoorwoman.Canyoui magi newhatNt ombi
feltwhenshewast oldthosear eherl astbabi es
knowi ngt heywi l
lbet akenaway.Iknowyouar e
angr yatherbutt hisisnott het i
me.Yourchi ldren
areal i
ve,andIcoul dnevert hankNt ombienough
fort hegiftofmaki ngmeagr andma.Theywer e
bor nonyourbi r
thday.Shegaveyout hebest
birthdaygi f
tever .Yoycoul dnotevensoakt hati n
ont hedatbecauseal lyouwant edwasbl oodyDNA
test.Putyourangerasi deandhel pt hesepeopl e.I'l
l
car ryNtombi '
smedi calbill
smysel f.Iwast hinking
ofmovi ngi ntot heapar tmentyourf at hergotmebut
I'
llaccommodat ethem"Li yena:" Accommodat e
them? "Mma:" Thereisnowayhergr andmot herwi l
l
separ atefrom Nt ombi .Ifwet akeNt ombi , wet ake
hergr annyt ooandt hat'
sf inal.
"Liyema:" Ther eare
privatehospi talsintheEast er
nCape.I '
llarrangef or
hert ogot oone.Thel astt hingIwanti sforhert o
thinkIwanthert obeapar toft heirlives."Mma:
"Yousi gnedt hecont ractinCapeTown"Shewal ked
awaybef oreIcoul daskwhatt hathast odowi t
h
anyt hi
ng.IknewMmai sfondofNt ombibutIdi dn't
realizeitwast hismuch.Shewal kedt oNt ombi '
s
grandpar entsandknel tdownbef oret hem.She
mustbeexpl ainingwhatshehasdeci dedon
becauseshehasmaket hedeci sionwi thoutme.Ma
Ml andul ookedatmeandnoddedsever al ti
mes.
Mmacamebackt omeaf terawhi lesayi ngher
grandmot heragr eedandwi l
lgohomet opackher
andNt ombi 'sclothes.Thehospi talgotal ertedt hat
Ntombiandbabi eswi llgot oanot herhospi tal.The
staffkeptonsayi ng" mot herandbabi es", Ididn't
cor r
ectt hem butIdon' tl i
kehear ingt hem cal lher
mot herofmychi l
dr en.Thepr opert r
anspor twas
arrangedf orthem t obet akent oCapeTown.Mma
andIgott hef irstfli
ghtoutofEast er
nCape.Af tera
fewhour sofl andi ngwewentt ot hehospi taland
theysai dal lboysar edoi ngwel l.Theysai dNt ombi
didagr earjobbecauseasi def rom onej uni or
havi ngapnea, ther estar eingr eatshapeandal lare
sur etogohomesoon.Thenewsoft hem goi ng
homescar edmebecauseI '
m notpr epar edf orthem.
Wher edoIevenbegi n?Mmaboughtf oodf orMa
Ml andubutshef irstwant edtoseeNt ombi .The
doct ortreatinghert oldust hatshehadani nf ecti
on.
Appar ent l
yt hehospi talshewasatt ookgr eatcar e
ofher .IgaveMmat he" Itol
dyouso"l ookbutshe
turnedhercheekt heot herway.Iaskedt oseet hem
agai n.Ican' tbeli
eveI '
m af ather .Whatwi llIname
them?Wi llIdoasmypar entsdi dandmakesur e
theyar eal lL. El ephantorper hapschoosea
diff
erentl et teri nt heal phabet ?Mybr otheri sthe
fi
rstper sonIt ol dandhewasatt hehospi talbef oreI
saiduncl e.Lungi :"IthoughtyouandMmawentt o
seehowgr ani sdoi ng,man.Butnoyouwentt ot ake
fourofus" ,hesmi lednotknowi ngwhi chbabyt o
l
ookatf i
rst.Li yema:" Mor eofus? "Lungi :"Ohcheck
theset woyel lowbonesl ooki ngliket hei runcl e.
Thent herei st woofyout oo.Youhavet woset sof
i
dent icaltwi nsbor nont hesameday.Theycr azy
shit.CanIt akeapi cturef orFacebook?Theboyi sa
whol euncl e.SoonI '
llhavet ogonegot iatet hese
goons' slobol a" .Liyena:" What ?Justgetoutofher e
witht hatgr ownupshi .
..Imeant hings.Noswear ing
whent heyar ear ound.Andyousur eashel lnot
goingt opostt hem, notwhi letheyar est illher e"
Lungi :"Listent oyou, daddy.Fat herf orf ivemi nutes
andal readyoverpr ot ective",wel aughed." Butona
seri
ousnot e, I'm happyf oryou.Fat herhoodsui ts
you" ,
hecamet ogi vemeahug.Li yena:" Thanks,
l
itt
lebr o.Lungi :" Sowhataboutt hegi rl
?Uhm I 'm
notevensur ei fIshoul dcal lherthei rmo. ."Liyena:
"Wel ldon' tcallhert heirmom, she'snot ",henodded.
Mma:" Lookatmyt woboysget tingal ong. .
.ohno
wai t,Imeanmysi xboys" ,shewal kedi n.Li yema:
"Wowt hatwascheesy" ,wel aughed.Mma:" Ican' t
wai tfort hem togetoutofher e.Ican' twai ttobr ag
tomyf ri
endsaboutmyf ourl it
tlebundl esof
ever ythingador abl e."Thethr eeofuswer est andi ng
andf ussingovert hem.Wepl ayedar oundwi th
somenamesandMmaonl yhadcut eni cknamest o
give.Wehavenott oldmyf atherbecausewewant
toenj oyt hef eelingofj oyforl onger .I'm af ather.I
don' tknowwhatl iesaheadbutohmanam Ir eady
forit.NTOMBIIwokeupwi thasor ehead.Il ooked
aroundt heunf ami liarroom andI 'm wonder ingwhat
i
shappeni ng.Awhi tenursewal kedi nandIdon' t
rememberhavi ngseenher .Shegr eet edmeand
toldmet hatshe' sgoi ngtogetadoct or.Thedoct or
camei nandt ol dmet hatIhadani nfect i
ont hati s
nowundercont rol.Iaskedwher eIam andt heyt old
meIwasai r
li
ftedt oCapeTown.Idon' tunder st
and.
Whywoul dLiyemadot hat?Theyexami nedmeand
l
ef twhent heywer edone.Makhul uwal kedi ncr ying.
Shehel dmesot ightt hatIfeltherpi nchmebutIl et
herhavehermoment .Shet oldmewhathappened.
ThatMr sElephanti st her easonI 'm her e.Why
woul dshewast ehermoneyonme?Makhul ut ol d
met hatshe' llbest ayingatMr sEl ephant 'sflatunt il
I'
m di schar gedandabl etogobackhome.Makhul u
doesnotseem t ol i
keLi yema.Col dandr udewer e
thewor dssheusedt odescr ibehi m.Theboysar e
doingwel ltoo.Iwi shIcanseet hem butLi yema
woul dhavemear restedt hesecondIgot othebaby
war d.Mr sElephantwal kedi n.Ist artedt oapol ogi ze
endlessl yf orwhatIdi dt ohersonbutshegaveme
ahugwhenIexpect edasl ap.Shesai dhowsor ry
shei saboutmyut erushavi ngbeenr emoved.She
l
ef ttogi vemet i
meal onewi thMakhul u.Makhul u
stoodt ogot ot het oilet.Theopenedaf tershel eft.I
thoughtshenol ongerneededt hebat hr oom but
whenIl ookedatt hedoorLi yemast oodbyi t.My
hear tstartedt obeatatanal armi ngr at e.He
steppedcl oserandIonceagai nt hrewapol ogi es
l
ef trightandcent er .Liyema:" Mmat oldmeyou' re
awake"Nt ombi :"Yeahandt hanksf oragr eeingt o
transf erme"Li yema:" Thankmymot her .She' st he
reasonyou' r
eher e.Whydi dn'tyoucal lear l
ier,
Ntombi ?Maybeoneoft heboyswoul dnotbe
havingt hisbreathi ngpr obl em."Nt ombi :"I'
m sorry"
Liyema:" Sorrywon' tmakemyboybr eathpr operl
y"
Ntombi :"IsaidI '
m sor ry,Li yema!Whatel sedoyou
wantmet osay?Igaveyouyourchi ldren.What
mor edoyouwant ?" ,
Ibr okedowni nt ears.Liyema:
"Foryout oacknowl edget hathei ssickbecause
youwer etoosel fishtocal lme.Hei ssi ckbecause
ofyou"Nt ombi :"
Li yema, Idon'thaveawomb.Do
your eali
zet het r
aumat hatcausest oawoman?I
don'thaveawombdammi tbutyoudon' thearme
blamet hem f orit.Theyar epremat ureandt his
breathingdi f
ficultyisbecauseoft hat .Ihadbo
controloveri t
"Liyema:" Hadyoucal l
edI 'dhave
takenyout othebestdoct orsandyou' dhave
carri
edt ot er
m" ,Ilaughedi ndisbelief.Nt ombi :"
It
's
adamnmi r
aclethatIevenwentbeyondf ive
mont hs.Haveyoueverbeenpr egnantwi thfour
kids,Liyema?Haveyoueverhadt obeadmi ttedto
hospitalconst antlybecauset hepr egnancycame
withheal t
hcompl icati
ons?Haveyoueversatand
l
istentot hedoct orsayi ngt heymi ghthavet o
terminateonebabybecauseyourbodywast aki
ng
strain?Haveyoueverl aidi nbedunabl etomove
anshaveyourgr andmawhoi snotsoyoung
anymor ebat hyouanddr essyou?Haveyouever
feltpai nandf earingt hatyourbodymi ghtdeci det o
givei nandnotonl ykillyoubutt hebabi esyouar e
car rying?Haveyoueverl ovedpeopl eevent hough
youknowt heywon' tbeapar tofyourl if
e?Don' tyou
dar e, don'tyoudar e",Ishout ed.Li yema:" I'
m sor r
y
thatyouhadt ogot hrought hatbutI '
m notsor r
yf or
theangerIf eel.Hest opsbr eat hingatt hemost
unpr edictablet imes.I 'mj ustangr ythatyoukept
awayknowi ngyouwer ecar r yi
ngmychi ldr
en,
Ntombi ."Ntombi :"Theyar emi net oo" ,
Isaidbol dly.
Hewasnotexpect ingmet osayi tanynei t
herdi dI.
Liyema:" Whatdi dyousay! ?"Nt ombi :"Theyar e
mi net ooandIhaveaf ewdayst odeci deifIwantt o
beapar toft heirlives.Wel lIwantt obeapar tofMY
childr en'slives" .Liyema:" Doyouwantt otakeme
onf orcust odyaf terbr eakingsomanyofour
cont r actrules?" ,helookedatmedi r
ect l
yint he
eyeswi thoutbl inking.Nt ombi :"Sayst hemanwho
paidmet obehi ssur rogat ewhent helawdoesnot
all
owi t.Webot hknowt hemoneyyougavemewas
mor et han" lossofi ncome"Li yema:" Don' tdot his,
Nt ombi .Youwi llnotonl yl osebutyou' llgotoj ai
lfor
tryingt oconmet oo.Whodoyout hinkt hejudge
woul dagr eeon?Acont hugorabusi nessmanabl e
tol ookaf terthem?I '
vebeenmadeadoor matby
womenoncet oomanyt imesbutI 'm cl oseto
j
umpi ngoft heedge.Don' ttestmenow, you'l
lcome
secondbest "Nt ombi:" Wel lI'
vebeenadoor matf or
menf orf artool ongt oo.I '
m al r
eadyovert heedge
sobr i
ngi ton"Li yema:" Ican'tbel ievet hisis
happeni ngt ome! ",heshout ed.Mr sEl ephant:"What
i
sgoi ngonher e?I'
mj ustt hankf ult hatMaMl andu
i
sf arbecauset hiswi llmaket hatwomansi ck.She's
old.Wehavebi ggerpr obl emsher e.Babyboyi snot
takingami l
khei sgiven, italsogi veshi m di
ar r
hea.
Theyal sooutofbr eastmi l
ktopur chase" ,shesai d
whi lest illpointingherf i
nger satbot hofus.Li yema:
"Tel lt
hem t ot r
yanot herf ormul a"Mr sEl ephant :
"Theydon' twantt oriski t
.Theyar esuggest ingt hat
Nt ombit r i
estobr east feedhi m si nceshe' sher e
unt ilt
heygetmor ebr eastmi lk.
"Li yema:" Overmy
deadbody.Ther emustbebr eastmi l
kwecanbuy
aroundCapeTown"Mr sEl ephant :" Hehasdi arrhea,
Liyema.He' sweakandmostpr obabl yhungr y.The
othert hreear efeedingwel lonf or mul abuthei snot .
Letusgi vet hisat ry.That 'sifNt ombiagr ees. "
Ntombi :"IfIcant henIwi llgladl yf eedmyson. "
, I
saidwhi lelookingatLi yema.Li yema:" Theremust
b...Mr sEl ephant :"Li
yemat hisi snotaboutei t
her
oneofyou. "Icoul dseehi sj awcl ench.Idi dn' tcare
i
fher ubbedhi st eethtoget herunt i
lt heybroke.Iwi ll
helpwher eIcan.Idon' tknowi fImeantt hatIwant
tobeapar tofthechi ldrenorwasi tjustanger
speaki ngbutMaEwasr i
ghtt hi si snotabout
LiyemaandI .Iwast akent owher et heyar eandmy
hear tmel ted.Theyar ebi ggert hanIr emember ,all
oft hem.Thenur sesatmedownandshowedme
whatt odo.Babywoul dnotsuckl e.Makhul u
suggest edt hatIhol dhi m dif f
icul tl
yandMaEsai d
Makhul ur eadhermi ndbecauseshewasaboutt o
suggestt hesame.Thenur set riedt heirmet hodand
Isoonf eltagr i
par oundmyni ppl eandi twasal l
syst emsgo.Heopenedhi seyesandi twast hef i
rst
ti
meIsawt hem.Hei sabeaut ifulboy.Hi seyes
closedsoonaf t
erandnot hingi nt hewor l
dmat tered.
IfIhadf ourbr eastst heywoul dal lbef eeding.
Liyemacoul dnotst andt hesi ghtsohel ef tther oom.
IknowIdi sgusthi m andIknowmef eedi ngbaby
disgust shim evenmor ebuthedi dnothavet ogo
outandpr ovei ttoever yone.Ir egretever ythingI
saidear li
eron.Imi ghtnotknowt heent irewi thhis
exwi f
ebutIknowi tbr okehi m andIdon' twantt o
addt othat.Havingt ocomebr east f
eedgaveme
chancet ooseet heot herst oo.Thenur sessayhe
respondedwel ltot hemi lk.Liyemacameandsai d
I'
m nol ongert obr east feedanyoft hem becauseI '
m
nott heirmot her.Sayi nghe' llbuybr eastmi l
ki fit'
s
allthebabycanst omach." She'snott heirmot her",
hekeptonr epeatingt hosewor dswheneverhegot
achance.Idi dnotf i
ghtwi thhim.Idon' thavet he
strength.Mywombmi ghtbeat hi
ngoft hepastbut
i
twasabl etocar rythesef ourandt heyar eper f
ect .
It'
sonet hi
ngt obet oldyourwombi stor nbut
anot hertobet oldi tiscompl etlygone.I 'm mour ning
thel ossofoneofmymosti mpor t
antbodypar t
sas
awomanbutatt hesamet imecel ebr atewhati t
coul dproduce.Makhul uwasr i
ght .Thel oveIhave
forthem andf ormynextdoornei ghbour schi l
d
can'tcompar e.Wi ththem i t'sli
kemyIseemyhear t
i
nf ourdif
fer
enthumanf or
ms.Theyar emorethanI
couldeverhaveimagined.Idon'tknowwhatwi l
l
happennextbutwhatIdoknowi sIwon'
tbeableto
j
ustletgo.It
sinthi
smomentwhenIr eal
izedthat
I'
vediscover
edreallove.Ilovet
hem uncondit
ional
ly.
I'
veneverfel
tabetterlove.
[
03/
28,
17:
05]Lynne:THI
RTY

LI
YEMA

Thel astfewweekshavebeenexhaust ing.Bet ween

mehavi ngt omaket i
mef orworkandbei ngatt he
hospi t
alI'm har dl
ytouchi ngground.MaEuni cehas
takeni tuponher sel
ftor emindmet otakemy
treat
ment .Sucht hingscaneasi lybefor gotten
whent hereispl entyinonesmi ndsoI 'm gr ateful
thatshe' smyr eminder.Ihavegot t
enani nterior
designerst udentt oprepar etheboysbedr oom.I
choseast udentbecauseIdi dn'thavet ospendal ot
andi t'
llbegr eatexperienceforher.Shehasdonea
remar kablejob.Iaskedf oranoldf ashionedbaby
room wi thpl ent yofbr i
ghtcol our sanddr awi ngson
thewal l.I'm notaf anoft hemoder nonest hatar e
greyandwhi te.I t'
sbabi esf orgoodnesssake.Vusi
hasbeenhol dingi tdownatt heof fi
cewhi leI '
m
busywi thpr epar ationst owel comet heboyshome.
MaEuni cer emi ndedmeoft hedr eam shehad
aboutmyhousebei ngfill
edwi thbabi esal laround.
Shesaysi tmakessensenowandt hatIshoul d
l
istent ohermor e.Ican' tremembert helastt imeI
wentt ogym andmybodyi sst artingt ofeelthe
affectsofi t.Nt ombihasbeensayi ngt hatshe' llput
upaf i
ghtf orshar edcust odyoft heboys.Shehas
nothadherl awyercont actmi newhi chcanonl y
meanshecan' taf for done.I fitgoesonl i
ket hist hat
ti
meper iodt hatgi vesherr i
ghtt okeept hem shoul d
shewantt owi llexpi reandt hatwi l
lwor kinmy
favor.Ir egrett hedayIchosenott ogowi tht he
othereggdonor .Mmaboughtt heboyssomany
thi
ngsf r om t oyst ocl othesandIdon' twantt hat.
Theywi l
lout grownt hesecl othesver ysoon.Imade
mywayt othehospi talhopingt hatt odaywi l
lbet he
dayt hedoct ort ell
smet heycanf inall
ycomehome
withme.I 'm det ermi nedt ogi vet hem t hebestbutI
mustadmi tthei rstayatt hehospi talhasbeen
cost ly.OnceI 'veset tl
edi nt omynewl if
eassi ngle
fatheroff ourI 'l
lhavet ogr i
dhar derthanbef ore.I
hopet hatNt ombicanl etgoandhonorour
agr eement .Shekeepssayi ngt hati twasnother
choi cet omakeandt hatshewasf orcedintothis
butdoesnotexpl ai
nmor e.Wayneassumedshe
wasf orcedt oobutwi thoutt hef ul
lstoryIcan' tdo
much.WhenIar r
ivedatt hehospi talshewas
alreadywi tht heboysdoi ngt hatkangar oocar e
thing.Idon' tknowhowmanyt imesI 'vetol
dt hese
peopl enott oal lowhert odoi tbutt heydon'tlisten.
Theykeepsayi ngi t
'sgoodf ort hem t ohearher
hear tbeatbecausei t
'sf ami li
arandi t'
llmaket hem
beatease.It ookmyboysf rom herchestandhel d
them.Ihat ehur ti
ngherbuti tsf orthebest .Nt ombi:
"Haveyoudeci dedonnamesyet ?
",sheaskedsof tl
y.
Ikeptqui etandshegott hemessagebecauseshe
wal kedout .Nur se:"Baby4washavi nganother
episodewher ehi sbr eathi ngpaused.Mommywas
alonewi tht hem andbyt het imeIgother eshewas
alreadymassagi ngal lneededpar tst osti
mul ate
breat hing.Shedi ditlikeapr of essional.",
shesmi l
ed.
Liyema:" She'snott hei rmom.Howmanyt imes
shoul dIt ellyoupeopl et hat?"Nur se:" I
'
m sor ry, Mr
Elephant .".Thedoct orcamei n.Doct or:"Goodnew.
Theyar eal lstr
ongenought ogohome. "Liyema:
"Whataboutbaby4wi thbr eat hingpr oblems? "
Doct or:"We' l
lsendyouhomewi thamachi net hat
willalertyouwhent hebr eat hingpauses.We' llshow
youhowt ost imul at
ehi sbreat hing.Hecangohome
too.Per hapsbyt het i
meher eachesacer t
ainage
he'dhaveout growni t
.Letmegosi gnt hei r
dischar gepaper s"Liyema:" Thanks, Doc" .The
doctorl eftther oom andhel eftmet hehappi est
manal ive."Youguysar efinal l
ygoi nghome" ,Isaid
tothem wi thexci tement .Ical l
edMaEuni ceand
askedhert omaket hehouseext raclean.Ihi redt wo
nanni esf rom thebestagencyandhadt ocal lthe
agencyt elli
ngt hem t hatt het woshoul dber eadyt o
startwor king.Mmawi llalsost aywi thusf oraf ew
mont hs.Ihavenott houghtever ythingt hroughyet
butI'm sur et hi
ngswi llfallintopl aceevent ually.I'
m
notevensur eifIneedt wonanni esormor e.Nt ombi
camei ntot heroom onceagai n.Hereyesswol len
andr ed.Shei snotwear ingahospi talgownbuta
l
ongbl ackdr ess.Nt ombi :"
Liyema, I..
."Li yema:
"LookNt ombiIdon' tknowwhatyouwantmet odo.
I.
.."
,Iraisedbot hmyar msupi nt heai r.Herr eaction
tomer aisingmyar msmademest opt alking
i
mmedi ately.Shei shol dingbot hherhandi nf r
ont
ofherf ace, i
t'
sadef enceposi ti
on.Di dshet hinkI'm
goingt ohi ther ?" Ntombi ? "
,Isai dsof tl
ywhi le
l
ower ingherhandsf rom herf ace.Herhandsar e
shaking.I ssheaf raidofme?Shef inallyt urnedher
headt ol ookatme.Thel ookoff eari nhereyes
numbedme.Shet ookherhandoutofmi ne.Nt ombi :
"I'
m nother et ocauset r
ouble.Ij ustwantt otellyou
thatIwon' tfightf orshar edcust ody.Idon' thavea
l
awyerbecauseIcan' taffordany.Pl easel ookaf t
er
them andi fyougetmar riedpl easechooseaki nd
womant hatwi lll
oveyourchi ldren.Makhul uhas
gonet obookusabus.I '
vedi schargedmysel fand
hopeful lybyt onightwewi l
lbeonabusbackhome"
Liyema:" Idon' twantt hi
ngst oendt hisway, Ntombi.
I'
m grat efultoyouf orever ythingandImean
everything.I '
mt r
ulysor ryaboutyourwomb.You' ve
givenmef ourhandsomel i
tt
leboysandonmy
birt
hdayt oo.Thankyoubutyouknewwher eIstood.
Iwant edt or ai
set hebabyal one"Nt ombi :"Yeahbut
i
t'sbabi esnotababy.Anywayal lthebestofl uck."
Liyema:" Gi vemeyourbankdet ail
ssoIcant ransfer
therestoft hecompensat ionf orl ossofi ncome.I '
m
surehadyounotbeenpr egnantyou' dhavef ound
thejob.Sopl easeal lowmet odor i
g...
"Nt ombi :"I
don'twantyourmoney.Keepi tf oryourboys.CanI
pleasesaygoodbyet ot hem f i
rst?"Liyema:" Yeah"I
couldnotdenyhert hechanceofsayi nggoodbyet o
theboys.Iwat chedasshepi ckedt hem uponeby
one.Sheki ssedeachont hecheekssever al ti
mes
andt ell
ingt hem thatt heyshoul dgr owupt obebi g
andst rong.I '
vegotnodoubtt hatshel ovest hem.I
under standwhyshekeptqui etaboutt hepr egnancy
too.Iwoul dmostpr obabl yhavest ressedhert oa
pointofhavi ngami scarriage.Ihavenotbeenki nd
tothewomanwhohasgi venmet hemostpr eci ous
gift
s.Am Idoi ngr i
ghtbykeepi ngherawayf rom
them?Idon' twantt oconf usemychi ldren.Li yema:
"WhenIhel dmyar msup, didyout hinkI'dhi tyou? ".
Shei gnor edme." Nt ombi ,youwer eshaki ng, cl earl
y
afrai
d" ,
Isai dhopi ngshe' dt ellmewhat '
sgoi ngon.
Ntombi :"I'vet oldyout hatI 'veoncebeenadoor mat
forlovetoo.Canmygr andmapl easecomeandsay
goodbyet oowhenshecomesback? "
, Ijustnodded.
Ionlyhaveachancet olookatherbodypr oper l
y
nowt hatshe' soutofhospi talclot hes.She
somewhatst i
lllookspr egnant .Itmademer eali
ze
j
usthowmuchherbodyt ookt ocar ryt heboys.She
hasgai nedal otofwei ght .Herbr eastl ookbi gger.
Therehavebeenmoment swhenherhospi talgown
wasst ainedbecauseofherbr eastsl eaki ng.Mma
hasbeenchecki ngi nonNt ombial ot.Shet oldme
thatNtombihasbeengi vingsomeofhermi lkt o
babieswhosemommi escoul dnotpr oduce.I
wonderwhenherbodywi llst oppr oduci ngmi l
k?I
feelli
keaj er
kf orwhatI '
m doi ngandI 'm sur e
everyoneatt hehospi t
alt hinkIam t oo.Imeanher e
i
sawomanwhowi llneverhavechi ldrenofherown
againbei ngsepar atedf rom t heonl yki dsshehas
bysomeguywhokeepsr emi ndingever yonet hat
shewasj ustasur rogat enot hingmor e.Mmahas
advisedt hatIatl eastgi veNt ombivi si ti
ngr i
ght
wher eshecanhavemoni toredvi sit
swi ththeboys.
Idon'tknowwhyI '
m af raidofl etti
nghercl oset ous.
Itoldhert hatt herewi l
lbenosuch.Nt ombi '
s
grandmaal socamet osaygoodbye.I 'm sur ethid
hasmadet hepoorwomaagemor e.I'm sorryfor
thepai nI '
m causi ngbutIf eell i
keIhavenoot her
choice.Mmacamewi thasevenseat erhiredcar
withcar seatinsi de.Ihavet obuyabi ggercar .It
seem I'llhavet ocutdownonsomel uxur i
esf ora
fewyear s.Mmadr essedt heboysi nblue
babygr ows.Sheexcusedher selfsayi ngshei s
goingt osaygoodbyet oNt ombi .Af tersomet ime
everythingwasr eadyandwest rappedt heboysi n
thecar seats.Thesef ourl ovet osleep.Wedr ove
homeandgotgr eetedbyabi gwel comehome
banner .Vusi ,MaEuni ce, LungiandevenTat ast ood
beforeus.Tat ast eppedf or war d.Iputt het wobaby
seatswi t
ht hebabi esinont het ablenextt ome.I
wasr eadyf orsomeof f
ensi vewor dsbuthegave
meaf irm handshakeandbr iefhugi nstead.Ta:" I
want ednonoft hi sbutIwentt ogomeett hem t he
otherdaywhenyouwer en' tt hereandIcoul dn'tbe
againsti tanymor e.Youhavegi vent hef ami l
yf our
strongboyst ocar r
yont heEl ephantname.I 'm
proud", heshookmyhandagai n.Li yema:" Thanks,
Tata"Soonever yonehel dababyi nt heirar ms.Each
maki ngt urnst ohol dadi fferentbaby.Iwasmor e
anxiousaboutmyl astbor n' sbreat hing.Imadesur e
I'
m cl oset ohi mt olistent ohi sbr eat hing.I'm not
conf i
dentenoughaboutsi mulat i
nghi sbr eathing
duringoneofhi sepi sodesbutt hankf ullyMmai s
andshe' llbewi thusf orawhi le.Ipr ayt hatmyboy
outgr owst hist hing.Ican' twai tunt iltheyar ebigger
andst arttohavedi fferentper sonal i
ties.Ilook
forwar dt oal lthemi lestones.Iwasnotexpect i
ng
Tat obewel comi ngbuti tseemst heboyshave
stolenhi shear tt oo.I '
veneverf el
tatmor epeace
withl i
f e.I'
vet akent heboysshar ingabi rt
hdaywi t
h
meandLul onkeasasi gnt hatshe' sf orgivenme.I
wisht herewasagi rlsoI 'dnameheraf terheraunt
butf ourboysar ealsoper fect.Iaskedf or
suggest ionsf ornameswecan' tkeepcal l
ingbaby
1,2,
3and4.Bandi l
e, Bubel e,BukhosiandBanel e.All
beingMrB. Elephant .NTOMBIThedeci siont oletgo
wasnotaneasyonet omake.Idi dn' tknowwhatt o
dof ir
sti nor dert obeabl et oof i
ghtandhaveno
moneyf oral awyer .Ial soonl yhadaf ewdaysofa
fi
ght i
ngchancel ef
t.Al ltheoddswer eagai nstme.
AtleastIgott omeett hem becauseIwasonl y
supposet ohavegi venbi rthandhavet hem t aken
awayf rom mei mmedi atelyt oavoi dbondi ng.That
woul dnothavehel pedbecauseIhadbondedwi t
h
them whent heyst illwerei nsideofme.I tseemsl i
ke
myf atheri sal soangr yatmef orlettinggo.I '
m
angr yatmef orl ettinggo.Yest erdaywhenLi yema
hadhi sar msupf lashesofBongacamet omi nd.I
stil
lremembert hosepower f
ulbackhandsl apshe
usedt ogi veme.Myf irsti nstinctswer et ocovermy
faceasI 'vedonemanyt imesbef or e.Ihat edt hatI
showedsuchweaknessi nf rontofLi yemawho
clearlyhol dsnor egar dformyf eeli
ngs.It ri
edt o
stopmyhandsf r om shaki ngwhenhehel dt hem but
Iwast ooshockedt o.Makhul uandIhavear r
ived
backhomet hi smor ning.Nanabei ngt hef irst
per sont ocomeandvi sitbecauseshehear df rom
heruncl eIwentt ohavet hebabi es.Thepoorchi l
d
alreadycl aimedt hem asherf ri
endsandwas
disappoi nt edt ol ear nt hatt heywon' tbest ayingwi th
us.Wehaveonl ybeenbackf oraf ewhour sbutI '
ve
alreadyhear dt hatr umour sofmegi vingmy
childrenupf oradopt i
ongoi ngar ound.Theyar en't
tooof fthemar kbecausei tfeel sli
keIhave.If eel
l
ikeahugepar tofmewasl eftinCapeTown.
Liyema' sfatherpai dmeavi sitofferingmeal otof
moneyt onotfightLi yema.WhenIt oldhi m Idon' t
wanthi smoneyhest artedt omakesubt l
et hreat s.
Hismot heront heot herhandaskedmet of ightf or
visitat
ionr i
ghtast hatwi llbemor eeasyt ogett hen
shar edcust ody.Sayi ngt hatLiyemami ghtt rustme
agai nandgi vemeshar edcust odysowecoul dco-
par ent.Hispar ent sar etwover ydiffer entpeopl e.
Mr sEl ephantevenconf essedt ohopi ngt hatLi yema
andIwoul ddevel opi ntomor e.Idon' twantherson.
IneverhaveandIneverwi l
lespeci allyaf tert heway
het reatedme.MaybeMakhul uisr i
ght ,Liyema
mi ghtjustbecol dandr ude.Idon' twantt heir
money.Shoul dt heboyssomedaycomel ookf orme,
Iwantt hem toknowIdi dn' tputapr iceont hem.I
wantt hem t oknowt hatIwant edt henbutdi dn't
havet hemeanst of i
ghtf orthem.Tamkhul ui sst il
l
notspeaki ngt omeandI '
vebeengi vi nghi m space.
Makhul uwassi tti
ngdownwhi leIwasbusycooki ng.
Makhul u:"Whati syourpl anmovi ngf or war d,
Nt ombi ?"Ntombi :"Applicationf orUni versityar e
open, Makhul u.I '
llmakesur ethatIgetasmanyasI
canandappl yandI '
vef oundbur sar iesIcanappl y
fortoo"Makhul u:"Soyou' llleaveusagai n? "Nt ombi :
"I'
l
lcomehomef oral lschoolhol idays.I 'vegott odo
thisMakhul u.I'mt ir
edofcr ying.If eellikeI 'm
mour ningpeopl eyett heyar est illali
ve.Schoolwi l
l
keepmebusyandwhi leIwai tI'
llgot othe
supermar ketandaskf oraj ob"Makhul u:" Your
operati
onscari snotheal edyet .Youwon' tgopi ck
upheavyboxesnow" .Tamkhul uwal kedi nwi t
h
handsf ill
edwi thdi r
t.He' sdoi nggar deni ng.Nt ombi :
"Khulu,pl easeIbegyout of or giveme.Ican' tst and
younott alki
ngt ome.Tamkhul u:" I
'
m notupsetwi th
you.Ijusthadbi gexpect at i
ons.I 'veevensecur ed
thefencesot heboyswoul dbesaf ewhenpl aying.I
wishyout wot oldmesoonerbef or eIbr okemyown
heartwi thexpect ati
onsandexci tement .Thatboy
hasnotevenpai ddamagesandyourgr andmasays
thatit
'snotnecessar y.Idon' tunder standt heway
youchi ldrendot hingst hesedays.Onemi nut eI'm
toldI'
m goi ngt obeagr eatgr andf atherandt henext
therearebochi ldrent obeagr eatgr andf athert o.
It'
stoomuch, mybaby.Gi vemet ime.I '
m notas
strong.I'vegotasensi ti
vespi ri
t.Thatboyhasno
respectandIdon' twantt othi nkaboutt hetypeof
i
nf luencehe' llbetot hoseboys.Youhavesacr i
ficed
al otf ornot hing.Yourgr andmaandIwer eaf raid
you' ddi edur ingoneofyourhospi t
alvi sit
sbecause
wecoul dseet hestrainyourbodyt ook.Nowaf ter
alloft hat ,
thatboywhowasnotapar tofthe
struggl eget st oenjoyt herewar dswhi l
etheonl y
remi nder st hatyouhadchi ldrenar et hechangesi n
yourbodybecauseyourbodyhasnotcaughton
thatyou' renotamot her.That '
sbecausenat ure
remember smaki ngyouone.I '
tst oomuch, man" ,he
saidbef orewal ki
ngout .Makhul u:" Timei sal lthat
weal lneed.I thasbeenanexhaust i
ngcoupl eof
mont hs.Af tert i
met hingswi llgobackt onor mal "
Ntombi :"Thi ngswi l
lbebet terwhenI '
m atschool .I'
ll
forgetever ythingsoon.I 'l
lstar trunni ngandeat i
ng
bet tersot hatbyt het i
meIgot oschoolI '
dhavemy
usualbody.Ti meheal sever ything" ,Isaidt r
yingt o
convi ncemysel f.Makhul u:"Timeshel psusget
usedt ot hepai n".IignoredherbecauseIwi llbe
okay.Ther ear eplentyofwomenwhohavehadt o
givet heirchi ldawayf orvariousr easonsandmost
oft hem ar edoi ngwel l
.Nana' smot her ,Xoliist he
onlyper sonIcancal laf ri
endi nthispl ace.She' sa
studentatNMUi nPor tEl i
zabeth.Iaskedhert oget
mef ormsl ongbef oreIknewI '
m pr egnant .She's
homef orashor ttimeandhear df r
om herdaught er
I'
m back.I t'
sasi fsher eadmymi ndbybr i
nging
applicationsf orms.It oldhert het r
ut haboutwhyI
don'thavet hechi ldrenIwaspr egnantwi thnotso
l
ongagowi thme.Xol i
:"Nanawasunpl anned.Idid
notevenwantherandevenconsi der edendi ngthe
pregnancybutIi nsteadopt edforadopt i
on.The
secondIhel dheri nmyar msaf t
ergi vingbi rthI
didn'twantt obesepar atedf r
om her .
"Nt ombi :"I
don'twantt ot alkaboutt his.I'
m sor ry, f
riendbutI
didn'ttellyousoyou' dgi vemepept al ks.Ijustwant
yout oknowt het r ut
hf rom me.Idon' teverwantt o
talkabouti t
, ever .Ij ustwantt oforget "Xol i:"I
under standandI 'llr
espectt hat.Uhm, fr
iend...
your
dressi swet .It hinkyoushoul dbuybr eastpadsj ust
untilyourmi lkdr iesup" .Ilookedatt hewet ,dark
pinkci r
cl esonmydr essandt earsf ellfreely.Xoli
camear oundt ohugmebutIst oodupbef oreshe
couldt ouchme.Iexcusedmysel ftogochange.I
cutasani t
arypadi nhal fandpl acest hepi ecesin
mybr a.Thenur sesai di t
'l
lstopsoon.Il ookedatt he
scart heoper ationl ef tmewi thandTamkhul uwas
ri
ght ,
mybodyst il
lhasnotcaughtont hatI'm nota
mot her.Iputonacl eandr essandwentbackt oXol i
.
Xol i
:"Ial sogotyouf ormsf orUCT"Nt ombi :"No, I
don' twantt ogot oCapeTown.I '
m sur eNMUwi ll
acceptme.Mymat ricr esultsaregr eat, I
'l
lappl yas
soonaspossi ble."Xol i
:"Soyou' llwalkupanddown
tot hepol icest ationt ocer t
ifydocument swi t
ha
freshwound? "Nt ombi :"Yes",Ismi ledhopi ngshe' d
keepqui et.Xol i
:"Ifyoudot oomucht oosoonyou
mi ghthur tyour selfandr iskhavi ngdi ff
iculti
eswi th
yourf utur epr egnanci es"Nt ombi :"Don' tyouwor r y
your sel faboutt hat .Idon' thaveawombsonot hing
tohur t".Ihat edt hel ookofpi t
yinhereyes." Please
don' tsayhowsor ryyouar e.Pleasehel pmef il
lt he
formsi n.Doyout hi nkt heywi llgivemeal oan
shoul dInotgetabur sary?"Xol i
:"Uhm yeah.Your
grandpar entsdon' twor k.You'llgeti t
.SoNt ombii t
doesn' tbot heryout hatyouwi l
lneverhaveki ds? "
Nt ombi :"I'
mi npai nandonceIt akemypi ll
sI '
ll
sleepsoonaf t
ersoIt hinki t'
sbestt hatyougo.
Thanksf ort hef or ms.Tomor r
owI '
l
lgett osendi ng
them wi t
hal lsuppor tingdocument s",Ismi led.I
don'twantt otalkaboutt hi sanymor e.Idon' twant
tobeaskedquest ionst hatendupmaki ngmesad.I
j
ustwantt oforget .Xol ilef tmei npeaceandIwas
ablet ofi
llintheappl i
cat ionf or
ms.I '
veal ways
want edtobeanAccount ant .Thati smyf irstopt ion
andt hesecondi sFi nanci alManagement .Hopef ul
ly
i
naf ewmont hst i
meI 'llbeast udentatNMU.
Tomor r
owwi llbeabusyday.Fr om goi ngt ot he
poli
cest at i
on, havingt heappl i
cationf orm scanned
andsentandgoi ngt ot hebankt odeposi tt he
applicati
onmoney.I '
llal sohavet ogoappl yfort he
bursar i
esIsawonl i
ne.Makhul ut ri
edt oconvi nce
met owai taweeksayi ngwe' veonl ybeenbacka
fewhour s.IfI'
m notbusyI 'l
lthinkt oomuchandi fI
thi
nkI 'l
lendupgoi ngi nsane.I '
llalsogot ot he
super mar kettoaskf oraj obort ryoneoft hef ast
foodpl acesi nt ownf oraj ob.Ineedt obebusyunt il
Iregisterandst artat t
endi ngcl asses.Idon' twantt o
haveachancet ot hink.Onmyf reet i
meI 'llgor un
anddosomeexer cisesont hesoccerf i
eld.I '
l
lal so
i
nvolvemysel fi nchur chact iviti
es.Iknowt hatdeep
downMakhul ui sal soangr yatmeandi t
's
somet hingI'
llhaveal i
vewith.Iwasaboutt osearch
formor ecompani esof f
eri
ngbur sarieswhenIcame
uponandonl inearti
cleaboutLiyemaandt heboys.
Hef inal l
ygavet hem names.Wasi tupt omeI 'd
havenamedeachsetofi denticaltwinssi milar
namesandt heot herstwoaswel l
.Thear t
icl
esays
howt hepr oudf at
heroffourgott heshockofhi sl
ife
whenhehear dthenews.Howhei sgr atef
ult ohis
surrogat ewhom hewon' tnamef orpr ivacyr easons.
Iswipedpasst hearti
cleandwentaboutf inding
bursar iesformysel f
.Maybeanewl ife,i
nanew
townwher eIdon'tknowanyonewi lldomegood.
[
03/
28,
17:
06]Lynne:THI
RTYONE

NTOMBI

Thetimeformydr eam ofhavingadegreesomeday

hascomet r
ue.Amont haft
erIappliedatNelson
MandelaUniver
sit
yIr ecei
vedmai li
nformingme
thatI
'
vebeenaccept edtostudyFinancial
Managementwi t
ht hem.Iwasdi sappoi
ntedthatI
wasnotaccept edf ormyf ir
stchoi cebutexci tedfor
havingaf ooti nt hedoor .Twooft hebur sar iesI
appl i
edf orr eject edmebecauset heypr efer
candi dateswhower ef reshoutofschool .The
studentl oangotappr ovedbutInol ongerneedi t
s
aidbecauset het hirdbur sarycompanyar egoi ngto
givememoneyf ormyst udies.Thebur sar yal so
i
ncludedaccommodat ion,travel andf oodcover .
Thingsathomehavebeenbet terbecausewehad
somet hingnewt olookf orwar dt oovert hepastf ew
mont hsofpr epar ingf ormyst udies.I naf ewyear s
shoul dal lgowel lI'
llbeagr aduatewi thadegr ee.
Mr sBcal ledonet imet oaskwhyIdon' tat tend
sessionswi t
hhert her apistf r
iendatt hecent er
anymor eandIwasf orcedt ot ellhert het rut h.After
allthatshehasdonef ormeIshoul dhavet oldhera
l
ongt imeagobutIf ear edj udgment .Shewassadt o
heart hatIdi di tbecauseBongat hr eatenedmewi th
herandZi m'sl ife.Shesai dIshoul dhavet oldher
andshewoul dhavehel pedmebyal lmeans
possi ble.Itoldhert hatgoi ngbackandf or th
arguingaboutwhatIshoul dandshoul dn'thave
donei spoi ntless.Al lthathashappenedi sdone
andIhavet omovef or war d.Sheaskedt hatIsee
thether api stagai nandIdi dbutst oppedwhent he
l
adyconst ant lybroughtupt hei ssueaboutt heboys.
Idon' twantt or emembert hatt i
meanddon' twant
tobef orcedt or el
ivei tsoIst oppedt herapy.I t'
s
beenabusycoupl eofmont hsleadingt omegoi ng
toschool .I'vebeenwor kingmybut tof fatt he
super mar ketandsavi ngmoneyf orthef irstcoupl e
ofmont hsatschoolsot hatMakhul uandTamkhul u
won' tspendmuch.Ii ntendonf indingapar tt i
me
j
obonceI 'veset tl
edi n.I '
vel ostt hebabywei ght
afterweeksofhar dsweat ingandI '
m pr oudof
mysel f.Mybel lyst i
llhast heugl yst ret
chmar ksbut
I'
lldealwi tht hatsomeot hert ime.Ihavebeen
wear ingmyol dclothesandsavi ngt hecl othesmy
fatherboughtf ormef orwhenI 'm atUni ver sity
becauseIsawhowst udent sdr esswhenIwentwi th
SindiandIdon' twantt obet heoddoneout .I '
ve
deletedal lt hesoci almedi aaccount sthatIhave
becauseIdi dnotwantt ocomeacr ossapi ctureof
theboyst hroughamut ualf ri
endorsomet hing.I
havenotf orgot tenthem andIl ovet hem st illbutI'
ve
foundawayt omanage.Theyt urnedf ivemont hsa
fewdaysago.I '
m sur etheyar ebi gboys.Tamkhul u
hasbeent ell
ingmeeachandever ysinglechance
heget sofhowpr oudhei sofme.Xol i
'
sbr other,
Radebei st heonewhowi llbedr ivingme, my
grandparent sandXol itoPor tEli
zabet h.Myf ather
putinsomemoneyi nmyaccountandpr omi sedt o
dosoeachmont h.Hei sst i
llmar riedtohi swi feand
i
sver ysecr etaboutwhati shappeni ngbet weent he
twooft hem.Idi dn'tgetplaceatt heUni versity
resi
dencesbutf ort
unat elymybur sarycover soff
campusaccommodat ionst oo.Xol ili
vesina
studenthouseandmanagedt ogetmear oom.
Makhul udi dn'tli
ket heideaofmebei ngar oundXol i
toomuchbecauseofXol i
'
spar tyways.Iassur ed
herthatI'
m goi ngtost udyandal lI'l
lcomeback
withadegr eeandnot hingel se.I'vebecomesucha
grandparent sgi r
lthatIf eelcl osert othem t hanmy
ownf ather.Tat ahasbeent her easbestashecan
butIunder standt hathehashi sownf ami l
y, oneI
canneverbeapar tof.Thedr ivet oPor tElizabethis
fi
ll
edwi thanxi etyandexci tement .Idon'tknowwhat
awaitsmebutIl ookf orwar dt oit.I'minaweofmy
ownr esil
iencebutIknowI 'm st i
llabletomove
forwar dbecauseGodhasbeengi vingmet he
strengt h.Ihaven' tstoppedgoi ngt ochur ch,inf act
I'
vebeenanact i
veyout hfort hepastt hreemont hs.
AssoonasI 'veset tl
edi n,I'
llgol ookf ort henear est
Met hodi stChurch.I '
m evenconsi deringat t
endi ng
classest obeaGui lder .I'
vegai nedenough
conf idencetopr ayinf rontoft hechur cht oo.It old
peopl et hestoryaboutmybabi estoki llallthe
differentrumor s.Mostdi dn'tqui teunder standbut
myi ssuessoonbecameol dnews.Af t
erhour son
ther oadwef inallyarr i
vedatPor tElizabet h.I've
neverbeenher ebutXol ihasbeent elli
ngmeal ot
abouti t
.Wear r
ivedl ateonSat urdaybutf ortunat el
y
Tankhul u'
sbr otherisher esowewer en'twor ried
aboutaccommodat i
on.Wepl annedt ogosor tout
myaccommodat i
ont omor r
owaf t
ernoonaf t
er
chur ch.Thel andl ordwaski ndenought oagr eeona
meet i
ngonSunday.I tsgr eatt omeetmyext ended
fami ly.Inowhavet wogr andf atherswhol ookver y
ali
kebutTamkhul ui sthel astbor ninhi sfami ly.
Thei rhousei sinMot her well.Af t
ertheel ders
caughtupandwewashedt hedi nnerdi sheswe
calledi tanightbecausei naf ewhour swe' dhavet o
got ochur ch.Xol iandIsl epti nabedt ogether.Xoli:
"Hey, Ntombiwhyar eyouf eelingsohot ?"
,webot h
l
aughed.Nt ombi :"Moveawayf rom me”Ipushed
herawayt ocr eateagapbet weenus.Xol i
:"Wher e
to?Tot hedamnf l
oor ?"Il aughedbecauset hatis
exact l
ywher eshe' llendupshoul dshemovef urther
away.Nt ombi :"Sor ry,Fr iend.Don' twor rytomorrow
you'llbei nyourownbed”It urnedt ofaceher .Xol i
:
"Thosebedsi nst udent shousescanbesohar d
thoughdamn.Anyway, ar eyour eadyt oat t
end
classsoon? ",shesmi l
ed.Nt ombi :"Letmeget
registrationdonef irstthenI '
lltakei tfrom there.You
know, Xol itherehavebeenmoment swhenIwoul d
feeladeepvoi dandsui ci dalt hought swoul dcome
tomi nd.I 'm shockedI 'vemadei tsof ar.Thechur ch
peopl ejudgi ngmebysayi ngIt hrewmyki dsaway
didn'thel pei ther"Xol i:Chr isti
ansar et hewor st,
fri
end.LookIt hinkyoul ett hatmanof ftooeasily.
Thef actt hatyou' ret alkingabouti tnowmeansyou
areget tingbet terbecauseaf ewmont hsagoyou' d
justcryori nsul tme.Thi si sanewyearwi thnew
oppor tuni ti
es.Whoknowsonceyou' rereadyyou
mi ghtmeetaki ndman"shest uckhert ongueouti n
anaught yway.Nt ombi :"Idon'twantaman” ,I
mumbl edlikeachi l
dwhoi ssucki ng.“ Didyou
managet omakeNana' sdadpaymai ntenance? ",
shesi ghedl oudly.Xol i
:"Iwentt ocour tandhecr ied
bankr uptcy.Idon' tknowwhatt hatmant hinkshi s
daught ereat s.She' sst arti
ngschoolnextyearsoi t
'l
l
bemor eexpensi vebutatl eastI 'm gr aduatingthis
year .BynextyearI '
llhaveaj ob".Shesai dwi t
h
det ermi nati
on.Nt ombi :"Toi ndependentwomen" ,I
raisedmyhandt ogi veherahi ghf ive.Xoli:"I'
m not
goingt ostophavi ngboyf r
iendst houghsodon' t
recr uitmei nt hisnoboyf ri
endt hi ngyougotgoi ng
on." ,ourhandscol l
i
dedi nahi ghf i
ve.Nt ombi :"Okay
onlyi fyoudon' tr ecruitmef orpar t
ies.Deal ?"Xoli:
"Deal ,”weshookoni t
.“Nt ombi ,you' dhavet o
bor rowmeadr essf orthechur chbusi ness
tomor row.Ionl yhavemi niskirts.Idon' tknowi f
your swi l
lfi
tnowt hatyou' relooki ngsohotwi th
yourhourgl assshapeandcur vyhi ps.Ifyouhave
thosemat ernitydr esseswi thyou, I'
lltakeone" ,she
jokedandwel aughed.Nt ombi :" Ihaveonet hatwi l
l
greatonyou.I 'l
lshowi ttomor row, ”Ipr omised.Xol i:
"Buthaveyouseenyour selfthough?Li kegirlyou're
hot.Youmakei tl ookl ikeski nnyjeanswer e
i
nventedspeci f
icallyf oryou.Idon' tthinkyou' llst ay
man- l
essf orlong,”shesai dwi t
hanaught ysmi le.
I'
veconcludedt hatXol ican' tbeal one.Shehasa
fewpar t
ner s.Ntombi :"It'
smont hsofhar dwor k.
Thosesoccerpl ayer smademesweat , f
riend.You
shouldjoinmef orar un, ”Xol i:"
Ar unt owher e? "she
askedNt ombi :"Aj og", Ilaughed.Xol i
:"Ionl yr un
whenbei ngchased, friend.Idon' trunf ornot hing.
Doyouknowhowl ongi tt akest oappl ymakeup? ",
webot hlaughed.Nt ombi :"Youdon' tneedt hat ,”I
cuppedherf acei nmyhands.She' sabeaut ifulgi r l
.
Xoli
:"Varsitymakesyouwantt obebeaut if
ul.You' l
l
seethesl ayqueensMonday.You' llwantmet oput
aweaveandmakeuponyou. "Ntombi :"Let'
ssl eep, ”
Isaidtoavoi dhert r
yingt ot alkmei ntoput tingi n
makeup.I '
m notagai nstmakeup.Isawal adyon
YouTubedoi ngt henat urall ookwher esheappl ieda
l
itt
lemakeup.I fXol icant eachmehowt oachi eve
thatl
ookI 'dwearmakeupever ynowandt hen.If elt
someoneshakemeandanot herpr etendi ngt ocr y.
Makhul uiswaki ngXol iandIandXol iwasnott oo
happy.Ican' tbelievei t'smor ningal ready.Wet ook
awhi letogetoutoft hesi nglebedwesl epti n.I
gavehert hedr essandi tfitli
keagl ove.Soon
everyoneonewasr eadyt ogo.Xol iandherbr other
aren'tbigongoi ngt ochur chbutt heywentwi thus
anyway.Theser vicewasgr eat.Ther ewasaman
whosangal mostasni ceasLi yema.Inevert old
himt hatI'veseenhi mi nchur chbef orebuti twas
notimpor t
anti nfor mat ion.Wequi cklywentt oeat
l
unchbef oremeet ingwi tht hel andlor d.Tamkhul u'
s
brotherandhi swi fehavebeengr eat .Iwasor dered
tonotbeast rangerandcomevi sitwhenI 'm hungr y
becauset heyknewhowdi fficultst udentl if
ecanbe.
Ipromi sedt ovi sitasof tenaspossi bleandpl anon
keepingmypr omi se.Wemetwi t
ht hel andlor dwho
showedust hehouse.I tlooksbeaut i
ful,cl
eanand
closetocampus.Ipai dthedeposi tandonemont h
rentandI 'm of f
iciallyar esident .Makhul uhel ped
meunpackwhi leTamkhul usatont hebed
Tamkhul u:" Ntombi , Iknowl astyearwasdi fficul
t
buttoget herwemanagedt ogett hroughi tallasa
family.Thi sisanewphasei nyourl if
e, agoodone.
I'
veseenyougetcl osert oGodanddoi ngHi swor k
atchur ch.I'veseenyougett hroughdayswhenyou
didn'tfeellikeeatingandbat hing.I '
veseenyougym
tobeheal thy.I'
veseenyouwakeupandgot owork
formoneyt hatwasnotmuch.I '
m qui etbutI '
ve
seen, mychi l
d.I'm proudofyou, ”It urnedt ol ookat
him.Mygent leking.Nt ombi :"IknowI 'vebr oken
yourhear twiththedeci sionsI '
vemade, Khul u.But
notoncedi dyoubecomel essofapar ent, yout oo
Makhul u.Onmywor stdaysyouwer et hereandI
won' tdisappoi ntyouagai n.Ipr omi se, ”Isai dwhi l
e
wipingmyt earswi t
hmyhands.Makhul u:"Ial ways
thoughtI 'm ast r
ongwomanbutyougi vemear un
formymoney.Iknowyou' rest i
llhur t
ingbutwow,
mybabyyou' vemadepr ogress.Iwi sht hatyou
didn'thavet ogetthroughwhatyouwer efor cedto
got hroughbutI '
m gladt hatwheni tdi d,itwaswhen
youwer ewi thusandnotal one.Wet rustyou.We
don'tdoubtf orasecondt hatyou' lldowhatyou
cameher eforandexcel .Wear econcer nedasany
parentsofayounggi rlchil
dint hiscr uelwor ld
woul dbebutwepr ay.Ourpr ayer swi llal ways
protectyou.Youdon' thavet omakeuspr oud
becausepr oudi swhatweal readyar e.Ont hose
baddayscal lusandwewi llprayt oget hereveni f
i
t'
sovert hephone.Il oveyou, baby, ”tear sfelldown
hercheeksbutshei ssmi l
ing.Tamkhul u:"Isawa
youngmani noneoft her ooms.Ishowedhi m my
fi
stsoI 'm conf i
denthewon' tbot heryou, ”weal l
l
aughed.Nt ombi :"
Il oveyou.Yout woar eMama' s
great estgifttome, ”Ismi led.IhuggedMakhul uand
Tamkhul ujoinedin.Theysmel ledl ikehomeandI 'l
l
mi ssbei ngt here.Itwast imef ort hem t ogoaf tera
whi l
ebecauseXol i'
sbr otherhadt or estbef ore
goingt owor k.IhelpedMakhul uont hebackoft he
bakki e,kissedandhuggedheronel astt i
me.I
huggedTamkhul ut oowhi leXol isai dgoodbyet o
herbr other.Whent heircarwasoutofsi ght,Ibur i
ed
myf acei nmyhandsandcr iedsof t
ly.If eltsafe
witht hem butnowI 'm onceagai ninat ownIdon' t
knowandhavenoi deawhatwi llhappen.IhaveXol i
butshe' snotmygr andpar ent s.Mygr andpar ent s
arehomet ome.Xol iwrappedherar msar oundme
andsai dshewast hesamewhenherf ami lyleft.We
wenti nsideandunpackedt her estofourcl othes.I
mett hisguyTamkhul ushowedhi sf i
stt oandhi s
girlf
riend.Thef ourofuswentt ogobuysome
dinner .Xoligotacal landl eftuswhi l
ewewai tedf or
thef ood.Whenwewer eout sider eadyt ogo, Igota
callfrom Xol itell
ingust ocomet ot hebl uecar
parkedi nf rontofus.I twasourl andl ord'scar.I'
m
notsur ei fhei smar ri
edbuti tseemst her eismor e
tohi sr elationshi pwi t
hXol ithanl andl ordandt enant.
Thet al l
, blueeyed, whitegent lemandr oppedusof f
atourpl aceandl eftwi thXol i.Ihadagr eattime
withmyhousemat eandhi sgi rl
fr i
end.Thegi r
l,
Port i
al ivesatt hecampusr esidence.Theyl ook
goodt oget her , socar efreeandhappy.Af terdinnerI
wentt omyr oom t owat chmovi esonmyphone.
Fortunat elyourpl acehasf reeWi -Fi.Inowhavea
goodf eel i
ngaboutPor tElizabet h.Al lIdreadar ethe
l
ongl inesf orr egistrati
ont omor row.LI YEMAFi ve
mont hsandoneweek.That 'showol dmyboysar e
today.Theyhavegr ownsomuch, itishar dto
believet hatt heywer ebor nbef or etime.Banel estil
l
getshi sbr eat hingdi ffi
cul ti
esbutt heyhavebecome
l
ess.Thedoct orsaysi fhegoesonl ikethissoonhe
won' thavet hisdecease.Thef irstcoupl eofmont hs
ofhavi ngt hem homewasdi ffi
cul t.Ihar dlyslept
andcoul dnotf i
ndabal ancebet weenf atherhood
andwor k.Iknewi fIcont inuedl iket hatI '
dbur nout
soIf oundbal ance.Theyhavet wocapabl enanni es
andMaEuni cehasbeenst ayingwi t
hmeagai nand
helpsmewi t
hni ghtdut i
eswhent henanni esar e
home.I thasnotbeeneasybutnonofuspi ctur es
l
ifewi thouttheboys.Wear ehappy.Theyhave
reachedpl entyofmi lestones.Myr elationshi pwi th
myf at hercouldnotbebet ter.Hecomesar oundt he
houset ocheckon" theEl ephanthei rs"of ten.He' s
beeni nviti
ngmet ogol fthoughIhat et hespor tbut
I'
vefoundnewcl i
entsont hegol fcour se.I'm
exhaust edmostoft het imebutI '
m notcompl aining.
Iintr
oducedt heboyst othechur chpeopl et wo
mont hsago.Mostwer eshockedanddi dnot
under standwhyIhadt ogot hesur rogacyr out e,
especi all
ythel adieswhohadaneyeonmei nt he
past.Ihavenotseennorhear dfrom Zi ngisaso
that'
sagoodt hing.It houghtt hef ewar ticl
esofme
andt heboyswoul dat tractherat t
ent ionagai n.I '
ve
decidedt ogoseesomeonet otalkt oaboutal lmy
pastpai ns.Ididi tbecauseIwantt obeasheal t
hy
ment allyandemot i
onal l
yformyboysasIt ryt obe
physical l
y.Ireadsomewher ethatyoucangot o
gym andgetheal thybuti fyourmi ndi snotheal thy,
you'rest illunheal thy.I t
sbeenahect icSundayand
whenIf inal lygott hechancet oputupmyf eetup
andr elaxt her ewasaknockont hedoor .Iignoredit
hopingt hatt heper sonwoul dgoawaybutt he
knocki ngbecamel ouderandIdi dn' twantt heboys
waki ngupaf terwe' vej ustsucceededi nmaki ng
them sl eep.Iwentt othedoorandwhenIopened
stoodaper sonIwoul dneverhaveguessedwoul d
comet omyhouse.I t'sMr sBam f rom chur ch.We
don'tgot ot hesamecongr egationbutI '
m seeherat
bigchur chgat herings.Igr eetedbutshei gnoredi t
andl ether selfin.Mr sB:" Soyoubr agaboutt hese
babiessot hatt heent i
reMet hodi stcommuni t
y
hearsbutnotoncedi dyout ellthem t hatyouar en'
t
theonewhoi ssupposedt otaket hecr edit
".Iclosed
thedoorandwal kedcl osert oher .Li yema:" I
'm
sorry,MabutIdon' tqui teunder st andwhatyou' re
tal
kingabout "Mr sB:" YouknowwhatI '
mt alki
ng
about .Foral lthesemont hssi nceI '
veknownI '
ve
hadt ost opmysel ff rom comi ngt oyoubutIf ail
ed
totoni ght .Youcal lyour selfaChr ist i
anmanbutyou
keept hewomanwhogaveyouchi l
dr enawayf rom
herchi ldr enhi dingbehi ndt hissocal ledcont r
act.
Haveyouoncesi nceNt ombiwentbackhome
pickedupt hephoneandj ustaskhowshe' sdoi ng?
Foral lyouknowshecoul dbedeadaf terget ting
anot heri nf ecti
onf rom theoper ati
on, butt henagai n
Liyemahashi sboyssowhyshoul dhecar e?”she
saidwi t
hal ookofdi sgust .Li yema:" Ma, I.
.."Mr sB:
"Shhhdon' tyoudar ei nterruptmewhi l
eI '
mt alking.I
thoughtyouwer ebet terthant his,Liyema.I '
veseen
youi nchur chpr eachandsi ngl ikeyoucandono
wr ongandyouf ooledmei ntobel ievingt hatyouar e
agoodman.I t'sonlywhenNt ombit oldmewhat
youdi dt ohert hatIsawt hatyouar enot hingbuta
wol finsheepski n.DoyouknowNt ombi '
sent i
re
stor y?Doyouknowt hatshedi dn'twantanyoft hi
s?
Wel lI'lltellyouNt ombi '
sst ory,”shewal kedcl oser
andl ookeddi rectlyintomyeyes.Shebegant he
stor yofayoungNt ombil osi nghermot heronl yt o
beabusedbyherst epmot herf oryear s.Shet old
mehowNt ombir anawaywi thamant ogetaway
from herabusi vest epmot heronl yt oendupi nan
abusi ver elati
onshi pwi ththisBongachar acter .She
alsot ol dmehowNt ombigotbl ackmai l
edi nto
agr eeingt obei ngasur rogate.Mr sBl aidital lon
thet abl eformemaki ngsur eI '
ml i
stening.When
shewasdonet alkingshegr acef ull
ywal kedtot he
doorandl eft.Ididn'tsayawor d.Ididn'tknowt hat
Nt ombihasgonet hroughsomuch.Howdoesshe
andMr sBam evenknoweachot her?Whydi dn'tshe
tellmet hatshedi dn'twantanypar toft he
sur rogacywhenwewer ealone?Icoul dhaveused
myexper i
encei nlawt ohel phergetr idofher
abusi veman.I texplai nswhyshet houghtIwas
goi ngt ohi therthatdayatt hehospi tal
.Toheral l
menmustbeabuser sandwi t
ht hewayI '
vetreated
herI 'm sur emynamei stopoft hel i
stofabuser sin
hermi nd.Isatbackont hecouchwi thami ndfill
ed
wit hal otoft hings.I tturnsoutshei snotacr ook
afteral l.Shehadt obeonet osavet helivesof
thoseshel oves.Thi snewi nformat ionhaschanged
myper spectiveonNt ombi .I'
m notsur ewhatt odo
next .Ifshewant sper hapswecoul dtryt he
visitati
onr i
ghtsMmasuggest ed.Maybewecan
plant hatsheseest hem onceaweekandont hei r
birthday?Mr sBam wal kedoutaf t
ershegavemea
summer yofNt ombi 'spast .Shel ookedatmeas
thoughI '
mt hedi rt
iest hingshehadevercome
across.I 'mi t
'snotl ongbef oreshet ell
sherchur ch
fri
endswhatki ndofmanshet hi
nksIam.Par t
sof
mer egr etsdoi ngt hissur rogacyt hingal ltogether
butthenIr ememberhadi tnotbeenf ort hat ,Iwoul d
notbeaf athert oday.Myboysar et her easonI '
m
breathing.Theyar et her easonIst ayheal thy.They
arether easonIwor khar dt ol eaveal egacy.They
aremyl egacy.HadIgonewi ththest ranger '
seggs, I
wouldnotbei nt hissi tuat i
onbutmyboyswoul d
notbet hemsel ves.Theyar et hewayt hatt heyar e
partl
ybecauset heyhaveNt ombi 'sgenest oo.
BubeleandBukhosil ookl i
keher .Wet houghtt hey
l
ookedl ikeLungi lebuti tseemst heyonl ygothi s
skincol orbutt heirf eatur esar eNt ombi '
s.Bandi le
andBanel elookl ikemebutt heygotNt ombi '
sskin
compl etionbecauseI '
m abi tdar kerthanher .They
areabeaut if
ulmi xtur eofusbot h.I '
veof ten
wonder edi ftheywi llaccepti texpl anat i
onofhow
theywer econcei vedandmoveonorwi lltheygo
outandl ookf ort hewomanwhocar r
iedt hem and
whosebl oodr unst hrought hei rveins.Wi l
lt heyhat e
mef orhavi ngconcei vedt hem t hewayt hatIdi d?
Whenhavi ngachi ldwasst il
ljustadr eam, Ithought
Ihadi tallfigur
edout .Nowt hattheyar ear ealit
y
thi
ngshavechanged.I 'vebeenaski ngmysel falot
of“ whati f
s”.Myt herapi stsai dI'm scar edt ohave
Ntombicl osebecauseIst i
llhaveconceal ed
feelingsforher .Idisagr eewi t
hhi m ont hatone.He
assumesI '
m afraidtheboysar en'ttheonl yones
whowi lll
oveherbutIwi l
ltooshoul dshebei nour
l
ives.Sayi ngI '
m afraidt ol oveandbel oved.Iwent
upst air
sandqui etl
ywentt ocheckont heboys.
Theyar esleepingpeacef ul l
y,notacar ei nthewor l
d
andIwi shitcoul dremai nt hatwayf orasl ongas
possi bl
e.Whati fmaki ngNt ombiapar toft heirli
ves
bringshar mt heirway?I 'm notsur et hisBonga
char acterhasst oppedhar assingNt ombi ?Who
coul dstil
llurkinthebackgr oundwai ti
ngf orwho
knowswhat .Ican'ttaket hatr i
sk,notwi tht heirli
ves.
Ihear dwhatMr sBam sai dandI '
m disgust edthat
therear esuchmeni nt hewor ldbuti t'
sf ort hat
reasonwhyIcan' tbringNt ombicl oset ot hem.
Obsessi vepeopl edon' tf ullyletgo.Ifhef indsout
thatNt ombicar esf ortheboys, hemi ghtwantt o
hur therthrought hem.I t'
st oobi gofar i
sk.I 'm sorr
y
toNt ombibutI '
m put ti
ngmychi l
drenf i
r st.
[
03/
28,
17:
07]Lynne:THI
RTYTWO

NTOMBI

I'
vebeenast udentatt heNel sonMandel a
Uni versityfortwomont hsnow.I t '
sbeent wo
mont hsofl earningandadj usting.Xolihast akenme
aroundt ownsever alti
messoI '
dgetusedt o
movi ngar oundonmyown.I '
veal solearnedthatI '
m
nott hei ntrovertIthoughtIwas.Iguessbei ng
Bonga' sprisonerf oryear smademet hinkIst ay
homebecauseIwasani ntr
over t.Iknowhowt he
publ i
ct ranspor tsystem wor ksandt hetimesoft he
shut tl
e.Thef ir
sttwoweeksIhaddi f
fi
cultyget t
ing
usedt obei ngast udent .Iwoul dgetmycl asses
mi xedupandendupbei nglateornotat t
endingat
all
.Mi ke,ourhousemat eisat hir
dyearst udentin
Financi alManagementandhe' sbeenaGodsent .
Hehel pedmewi thallthatIst r
uggl edwi t
hasf aras
ourcour sei sconcer ned.Heputmei ntouchwi t
ha
studygr ouphef ormedi nhi ssecondyear .I'
ve
madet wof riendsbecauseXol i andIhar dlygett o
seeeachot her .Bet weenourdi fferentcl ass
schedul esandherbusysoci alli
f ewe' vebeenl i
ving
passeachot herbutwedohavepi zzadat esatl east
onceaweek.Makhul ucall
sever yni ghtbef orewe
got obedt ohearhowmydaywent .Mydaysar e
usuallythesamebutshewant st ohearabouti t
anyway.Wepr ayt ogetherovert hephonet oo.I 've
beengoi ngt ochur chandi tf eelsgoodt obewi th
peoplewhodon' tknowmyst ory.Theyknowt he
Ntombit heymetaf ewweeksago.I '
vebeengoi ng
toTamkhul u'sbr othert ovisitasof t
enast ime
all
owsmet oo.Li f
ei nanewt ownf eelgood.Ican
confident l
ysayI '
m happy.Amanda, oneoft hegi rl
s
Iconsideraf rienddi dnotattendl ect urestoday.I 'm
sureshe' swi thherSRCman.Iwal kedast epahead
ofDuduwhoi smyot herfr
iend.I tseemshershor t
l
egscanonl yt akesmal lst
eps.I 'doccasi onallywai t
forhert owal kbesi deme.Nonofusar etalking
becausewe' r
eexhaust ed.I'vebeenat tending
classessi nce8am.Ihavenothadsomet hi
ngt oeat
theentireday.Al lIhadwasanappl eatnoon.I '
m
notondi et,Ijustdon' thaveanappet i
te."Ntombi ,
slowdown, "Ihear dDudusaybehi ndme.Il ooked
backonl yt or ealizet hatI'vebeenwal kingtoof ast
orshei swal kingt oosl ow.Iwai tedunt i
lshest ood
i
nf rontofme.Dudui sani ntrover tofnot e.Shei s
thatgi rlincl asswi thear phonesonwhent he
l
ect urer erhasnotst ar t
edhi slessonyett oavoi d
talkingt opeopl e.Thet woofuswer ef orcedto
communi cat ewhenwehadt owor konacl ass
assi gnmentt oget her.Iguessshet houghtI '
m notas
badast her est.Idon' ttalkmuchandIcal lbefor e
goi ngovert oherpl ace.Sheappr eciat esthatI
respectherboundar ies.It hinki t
'ssaf et ocallher
mybestf riend.We' redi ff
er entbutwegeteach
other .Onmyl owdaysshedoesnott rytofil
lthe
spacewi thusel esswor ds.Al lshedoesi ssitwi th
mei nsi lence.She' sabeaut i
fulsl endergi rl
.Wi th
l
ongr elaxedhai r .She'sbeent alkingaboutcut t
ingit
andgr owi ngi twi thoutchemi calsaf tershesawmy
afrobuthasbeenst alli
ng.Wewal kespastaf ast
foodr est aurantandwenti nsidet ogrababi te
becauset hehungernoi semyt ummywasmaki ng
wasembar rassi ng.Af terhavi ngourf i
llwewal ked
aroundt alkingaboutanyt hingundert hesun.Dudu:
"Ther eisanopensal on.I'vedeci dedt hati t'
snowor
never ,
"shesai dtryingt osoundent husi asticbutI
coul dhearshei sner vous.Nt ombi :"Youdon' t
soundt osur ethough, "Iraisedbot hmybr ows.
Dudu:" I
'veal waysbeent hegi r
lwi t
ht hel ong
rel
axedhai r.I'
mt iredofhavi ngmyscal pbur ntwi t
h
ever ysal onvi sit
.It'snowornever ,"shesai dshe
crossedt her oadl eavi ngmebehi nd.If ollowed
behi nd.Thesal oni sempt ysot hehai rdr esser
helpedheri mmedi ately.Dudusati nt hechai rand
explainedwhatshewant s.Thehai rdr esserunt ied
herbunandcheckedherhai r.Hairdr esser :"I'
m
sorry, dearbutyoucan' thaveacutyet .Youdon' t
haveanygr owth,"hesai dwhi lerubbi ngherscal p
withhi sf ingers.Dudu:" Cuti talloff,
"herwor dsl ef
t
bothmeandt heguydoi ngherhai rwi thmout hs
hangi ng.Nt ombi :"No!Iknowyou, you' l
lcr yt ome
andmakemesendyouwayst otieadoekt ohi de
yourbal dhead, "webot hl aughed.Dudu:" I'
mt r
ying
toliveher e.Girl,
I'l
lr ockt hatbal dheadt oschool
tomor row, "Nt ombi :You, mi ssIdon' tlikeat tention?
You' l
lhidei t,notr ocki t.Si r
, she'l
lgr owgr owt h,
don'tcut ,"thehai rdr esserl ookedatmeast hought
I'
vesai dt hemostof fensi vewor donear t
h.
Hairdr esser :"Yhuwhoi st hisgi rlcallmeDi vaSi r?
",
heaskedhi scol leaguesandweal llaughed.I
apol ogizedt ohimi npr omi set ocal lhim byDi ve.
Dudusai dshewantal lherhai rcutandsi ncei ts
hersnot hingIoral l t
hehai rdresser si nthesal on
adviced.Di vef ir
stt ooksci ssor stocutDudu' shair
shor t.Itseemshi shear tbr okewi theachcl i
p.Dudu
cover edherf acewi t
hherhands.Idon' tknowwher e
thesuddenbr aver ycamef rom butIhopeshewon' t
regreti t.Atl eastIcant ieadoekwel l,I'
llteachher .
Nextt omei saboar dwi thdi f
f erentcut soni t
.A
particularcutcaughtmyeye.I twasaf adedcut
witht wol inesont hesi de.Ideci dedt oal socutmy
hair.Newt own, newhai r.It oldoneoft heot her
staffatt hesal ont hatIwantt ocutandshowedhi m
api cture.Heunt iedmyt wol i
nepl aitsandwas
shockedt oseet hatIwantt ogetr i
dofsuchabi g,
heal t
hyaf ro.Theycal l
edbot hDuduandIcr azyand
Iguesscr azyi swhatwewantt obef orachange.
Afterawhi l
ewebot hfinishedandl ookedateach
other .I'
veneverseenamor ebeaut i
fulbal dheaded
l
adyt hanDudu.I fi twasupt omeshewoul dn't
growanyhai reveragai n.Shel etoutal owscr eam
whenshel ookedatmeandsai dIl ookbr eat htaking.
Webot ht urnedt olookatourr efl
ectionpr oper lyand
l
ookedateachot herwi thbigsmi les.Dudu:" Let '
s
takeapi ct ure,"shet ookherphoneoutofherbag.
Wet ookasel fieandaskedoneoft heguyst ot ake
mor epict ures.Wepai dandt hecoolPor tEl i
zabet h
windf eltgr eatonmyf r
eshlycuthai r.Ifel tnew.
Dudu:" You' ret hef i
rstpersonIcancal laf riend,
Ntombi .I'veneverhadsomeoneIcandogi rl
y
thingswi thbecauseI 'vealwaysbeenwi thout
fri
ends.Thankyou, "shesmi led.Nt ombi :" Thankyou
forbeingmyf ri
endt oo,"Ismi l
ed." Hug?Iknow
you'renotaf an,"webot hlaughed.Shecamecl oser
forahug.Dudu:" Herecomest hatguy, "shesai d
whi l
ewehugged.It urnedt olookwhi chguyshei s
tal
kingaboutandi t
'sWandi le.Heseemst ohavea
crushonme.It houghthewoul dstopandt al kbut
hewal kedpast .I'm gladhedi d.Wandi :" Nt ombi ?!
,"
heshout edl ooki ngconf used.Hedi dn'
tknowi fhe
shouldl ookatmyf aceormyhai r
.Nt ombi :"Wandi ,
"
Ifakedasmi ledhopi nghe'dj ustgr eetandgo.
Wandi :"Whathappenedt oyou?Wher eisyour
hair? ,
"hewal kedcl osert ogetabet terlook.Nt ombi :
"Wet ri
edsomet hi ngnew, "hel ookedatDudu' sbal d
head." Whatdoyout hink?", Iasked.Wandi :"I
'm stil
l
processi ngi t
.Youl ookedsobeaut ifulwi t
hyourbi g
hair.At rueAf ri
canQueen.Andyou, abal dhead
whenwi nterisar oundt hecor ner,
"hel ookedat
Dudu.Duduputherf ingeri nhermout hpr etendi ng
topuke.Dudu:" It'snotgoi ngt omakemybr ain
freezeandchi llitsj usthai r.Wear est i
llAfrican
Queens, "Ntombi :"Shei sr i
ght ,i
t'sjusthai r.Seeyou
around, "Wandi :" I'
m sor rybutIj ustwasnot
expect ingi t
.Ievenwal kedpastyoubecauseIdi dn'
t
knowi t'
syou.Canwegogr absomet hi
ngt oeat ?"he
smi led.Nt ombi :"I'
veal readyat e.Look, WandiI
knowyou' ret ryingt ogetmet ogoonadat ewi th
youbuti t'
susel essbecauseI '
m notl ookingf ora
relationshipatt hemoment ,
"Isai dfeelingbadf or
turninghi m of fbutIwanthi mt oknowwher ehe
standswi thme.Henodded, sai
dgoodbyeand
wal kedaway.Thenextt imeI 'minar el
ationshi pi t
'l
l
bewi thsomeonewhoIl oveandl ovesmeback.I
don' tknowi ft ruel oveexi stsbuti fitdoest henI
havenotmeti t, notr omant i
cal l
y.DuduandIt urned
thest reetsofPor tEl i
zabet hintoaNewYor k
phot oshootandwear ethemodel s.Ourhai rwi ll
groworwemi ghtdeci det okeepi tshor t
.I '
m
consi deringaddi ngcol ortoi t.I'
m youngsoIwant
todot hemostwhi leIcan.Wef i
nal lywenthome.I
foundMi kecooki ngdi nnerf orhi msel fandhi s
girlf
riend.Hehadacompl etelydi fferentr eact i
ont o
Wandi .Het hr ewt hewor dsbeaut i
f ul,hotandsexy
around.I '
mj usthappyhi sgirlfri
endhasnotar r
ived
yet.Heof f
er edmeapl atethatIgl adlyaccept ed
becausecooki ngi st helastt hingonmymi nd.Af t er
dinnerIwentt obedf eelingexhaust ed.Ical led
Makhul uf i
rstbecauseIwant edanear l
yni ght .My
alarm di dn'tgoof fthenextday.Hadi tnotbeenf or
Mi ke'susualnoi sewhi l
eget tingr eadyIwoul dn' t
havemadei ti ntimef orclass.It ookt hequi ckest
showerever .Af tert akingtwosl icesofdr ybr own
breadf orbr eakf astIr ant omyshut t
lest op.
Thankf ull
yImadei tint i
me.If oundDuduwai t i
ng
formeout sidet hedooratvar sit
y.Shehasapur ple
doekonherheadandi tdidn'tlookt oof l
at t
ering
witht hepr et ty,kneel engt hmust ar ddr essshe' s
wear ing.Nt ombi :" Andt hen? ,
"Iaskedwhi lepoi nt i
ng
tothebadl ywr appedheadmat er i
alonherhead.
Dudu:" Yest erday' sconf idencei sgone, fri
end,"she
l
ookeddown." Ifeel wei r
dandi fIr ockupwi t
ha
baldheadever yonewi l
llookatme.Ihat ebeing
l
ookedat ,"sheadded.Nt ombi :"Duduzi le,youar ea
beautifulgirl.Pl easet akei toff.Youknowt heot her
studentsdon' thavet imet obel ooki ngatourheads.
Please, t
akei tof f,
"sheexhal ed.Af teraf ewmi nut
es
ofper suasionshef inallytooki tof f.Wewal kedin
andwebot hgotpl ent yofcompl i
ment s.Some
sayingDuduwasdumbt ocutofher" natural
weave" .Myf riendwal kedt oherseatwi th
confidence.Amandadi dnotat tendonceagai n.If
shegoesont hi swayshemi ghtnotpassherf irst
yearandpossi blyl oseherbur sar y.Dudu' spar ent
s
arepayi ngf orhercash.Wehavenott alkedabout
eachot her sf ami l
iesmuch.Onet hingwehavei n
commoni st hef actt hatwet akel ongt oopenup.
Wear ebot ht ryingt ofigureouti ftheot heri swor th
openingupt obutI '
vegotagr eatf eelingaboutt hi
s
fr
iendshi p.Webot hgot ochur ch, di ff
erentonesbut
sti
ll
.Webot hdon' tdr inknorsmoke.Wear e
dedicatedt oourst udies.Itmakessenset obe
fri
endswi thDudu.I '
m sur eherpar ent sar erich
thoughsowecomef rom di f
f erentbackgr ounds.
Afterclasswewentt osi tout sideint hesun.I t
seemsournewl ool sat tractedat t
ent ionf rom men.
Dudu' scr ushcompl ement edherandt hesmi leitl
eft
onherf acewashear twar ming.Awhi tecarpar ked
notsof arfrom us.Al ecturerwentt ogr eetthe
womanwhost eppedoutoft hecar , Iassumei t
'shis
wife.Ababy' scrycamef rom i nsidet hecarandMr
Barletopenedt hebackseatandt ookoutt her ed
facedcr yingbundl et ryingt ocal m her .Thel ady
openedt heot hersideandt ookoutt heot herbaby.
It'
stwobeaut ifulblondehai redbabygi rltwins.
Daddywast ryingt ocal mt heot herwhi lemommyi s
distr
act i
ngt heot herbypoi ntingatst udent swal ki
ng
by.Mychestt ightnedwhi l
eIl ookedatt hehappy
family.Theboysar enowsevenmont hsandt wo
weeksol d.Icanst i
llf eeltheirwei ghtonmychest
whent henur sesal lowedmet okangar oocar ef or
them wheneverLi yemawasnotatt hehospi tal.Ifel
t
aslightshakebuti tf eelsast houghI 'mi nmyown
wor l
d.Myhear tstartedt oraceatar api drate.My
visi
onbecausebl ur ry.Icoul df eelthemoi stnessin
mypal ms.It rytobr eathbuti tseemst hemor eIt ry
thelessai rmyl ungsget .If eltDudu' shandssl ap
mycheeksgent l
y.Icoul dn' trespondbecauseI 'm
puttingal lmyener gyinbr eathingagai n.It
'sli
ke
someonebl ockedt hepi peconnect i
ngmyl ungst o
mymout handnose.Dudu' sdesper at ecr i
esfor
helpwer esol oudi tfeltli
keshe' sinmyear .Why
can'tIbr eathandseepr oper l
y?I 'm sur eI'm goingto
die.Icoul dhearamal evoi cebeggi ngmet otake
shallowbr eaths?Ican' ttakedeepnorshal l
ow
breat hs."Standback, giveherai r.Ithinkshe' s
havingapani cattack",af emal evoi ceshout ed.My
visi
onst il
lblurr
ybutIsawt hemanypeopl ear ound.
Am Igoi ngtodi eoncampus.Someonepi ckedme
upwi theaseandt heywer emovi ngwi thme.What '
s
goingonandwhywon' titend?I sdyi ngsucha
prolongedandscar yprocess?Someonekept
beggi ngmet obr eath,inst ruct i
ngmeonhowt o
breat h.Ili
stenedt histimear oundandIt ookthe
shallowbr eathstheywer et alki
ngabout .Ialmost
breat hnor mallyagai nandmyvi sionr eturn.Inf r
ont
ofmei sapar amedi cinar edover al
l.Hesmi l
ed
whenhenot i
cedI '
m maki ngdi recteyecont actwi th
him.I 'veneverbeensohappyt oseeanyonei nmy
l
ifebecauseIt houghtI 'dgonebl i
nd.I '
mi nan
ambul ance.Duducr yinghereyesoutsatnextt ome.
Ismi l
edt oshowherI '
llbeokay.Mypoorf riend
musthavegot t
ent hef rightofherl i
fe.Iwast aken
tot hehospi talbecausemyhear twoul dn'tsl ow
downandbeatnor mal ly.Theydi dn'tkeepme
over night.Duducal ledXol iwhocamewi t
hherman
topi ckmeup.SheandDudusatont heedgeofmy
singlebed.Oneoft hem br ushingmyl egf or
comf ort.Dudul eftpr omi singt ocallwhenshe' sat
herf lat.Xolilai
dnextt ome.It ol
dherwhat
happenedt hattri
gger edt hepani cat t
ackbecause
theysai dIhadapani cat tack.Hergr i
par oundme
ti
ght nedbutshehadnowor dst ocomf ortme.
Nt ombi :"Idon'tknowwhathappened, Xol i
le.I tfel
t
l
ikeIwasdyi ng",Icr ied.Xol i:"
Somepeopl ear e
mean, j
ustmean.Shoul dIcal lhome? ,
"sheasked
sof tl
y.Nt ombi :"
No, theywi l
lwantmet ogohome.I
don' twantt obebehi nd.Canyoui magi net hel ooks
I'
llgett omor row?"Xol i:"Scr ewt hat.You'real iveand
that '
sal lt
hatmat ter s.Maybeyoushoul dtalkt o
someone.Maybet hatl adycanhookyouupwi t
ha
therapisthere,"shesai dhopef ull
y.Nt ombi :"I
stoppedgoi ngbecauset heywantt ot alkabout
whathappened.Iwantt of orget,"Xol i
:" Maybei t'
s
whatyouneedt odo, talkabouti t.You' vebeen
super womansi ncei thappenedbutaf tertodayl i
fe
showedyourt hatyou' rej usthuman.You' llfreakout
wheneveryouseebabi es,"shesai d.Nt ombi :"I've
seenpl entyofbabi essi ncei thappenedandt his
hasneverhappened.It hinkit'sseei ngbabi esbor n
ont hesamedayt hatt rigger sit"Xol i
:"PEi sf i
lled
withtwi ns,I
'veseent ripletstoo.You' reboundt o
shet hem.Consi dert al
ki ngt osomeonepl ease, "she
pleaded.Nt ombi :" Ijustwantt ofor get,Xol i.Please
j
ustmakemef or get .Makemef or gethowwar m
theyf el
tonmychest .Makemef or gethowpr oudI
feltofmyboywhenIf elthi m breat hagai naf terhe
stopped.Makemef orgett hef eeloft heirsof tfeet
andhands.Makem. ..me. ..
me. ..
m. mef orgett hei r
sc...
sce..scent.Pl easemakemef or .
..
for get ,
fr i
end,"
Istutteredthrought ears.It urnedt ol ayonmybel ly
andbur ymyf acei nmypi l
low.Thi spi ll
owhas
soakedupsomanyofmyt earsandsohadt heone
athomeandsohast heonei nBonga' shouse.I
pleadedwi t
hXol it
omakemef or
gett houghIknew
sheisnotequi ppedwi t
hsuchpower .Ithoughta
freshstarti
nanewt ownwouldmakemef or
get.I
thoughtahai r
cutwoul dmakethi
ngsf eelnew.ButI
waswr ongandIshoul dn'
tbesur
prised.Howdoes
onel etgoofal ovethatfi
ll
edt
heirhear t
?
[
03/
28,
17:
07]Lynne:THI
RTYTHREE

NTOMBI
.

I'
vegonebackt ot herapywhi chhasf orcedmet o
speakaboutt hingsIr atherwoul dwor kon
forgetti
ng.Bei ngbackmademer eal
izethatI '
l
l
neverf orgetthepai nofwal kingawayf r
om myonl y
childr
en.Thepai nofknowi ngt hatI'
l
lneverbe
pregnantagai n.Tal kingabouti thashelped
somewhat .I'
vebeenhavi ngmor elowst hanups.
Hadi tnotbeenf orMike'sextralessonsI '
m sureI
woul dhavef ailedt hefi
rstsemest er.Kate,my
therapistrecommendedant idepressanttreatment
butIr efused.Ir eadhowi tmadesomewor seandI
coul dn'taf f
or dtofeelwor se.Myout l
etsdur i
ngmy
dar kmoment shavebeenpr ayerandgym.I 've
becomeanact ualgym memberandi thasbeen
good.I thelpsmecl earmymi ndandmybody
thanksmef orkeepi ngi tingoodshape.Af ew
weeksaf tertherapyIst artedt of eelbet ter
.I '
ve
l
ear nedt hatit'sokayt ol oveandmi sst heboyseven
i
ft heyar en'ttechnicallymi nebyl aw.My
fri
endshi pswi thDuduhasgonef rom strengt hto
strengt h.If oundoutshe' sanonl ychildt o
successf ulbusi nesspar ent s.I'veseenhermot her
ont henewsonceort wice.Ial sof oundoutt hatshe
alr
eadyhadaj obwai t
ingf orheraf t
ershe' s
compl etedherst udies.Shesai dshe' dmakeapl an
formet oobutI '
drat herear nmyspoti nacompany
bymer i
t.Empl oymenti shar dt ocomebyt houghso
Ididn'tr ejectherof ferj ustincaseImi ghtneedhel p.
Zim shehermanf inallyfixedt hingsaf ewmont hs
ago.Wedon' tspeakonadai lybasi sbutImanaged
togetani nvitati
on.I '
m notsur ehowIf eelabout
goingbackt oCapeTownbutMr sBsur prisedme
withanunexpect edpl anet i
cketandr eservat i
onsto
aB&Bcl oset oherhouse.I t'
llbemyf i
rsttimeona
plane.Wel lasidef r
om bei ngai rl
iftedt oCapeTown
byLi yemabutt heydoesn' tcount .Theweddi ngis
tomor rowandgoi ngt oahappyeventf eelsgr eat.I
'l
l
fi
nal l
yl etmyhai rdownanddance.Nott hatIhave
muchhai rbecauseI '
vedeci dedt okeepi tshor t
.Xoli
helpedmepackandi tseemsshe' snotgoi nghome
fortheJunebr eak.Shemadesur eIhavet oright
out f
itandchoseanai lpol i
shcol ort omat ch.She' s
alsogi venmeaf ewmakeupl essons.Ihear dloud
hoot i
ngandIknewmyt axiisout si de.Dudusai dI
shoul dmakesur eIar ri
veatt heai r portear l
y.Igot
i
nt othet axiner vousbecauseIdi dn' twantt o
embar rassmysel finfrontoft hepeopl eatt he
airport.WhenIar r
ivedIaskedaki ndlooki ng
strangerf orhel p.Af t
ergoi ngt hroughal lprocesses
Ifinallysatinmyseatf eelingsr elievedt hatIdi dn't
getont hewr ongpl ane.I sthatevenpossi ble?At all
,
slendermancamewal kedi n.Heputasmal lbagi n
thelittl
ecabi naboveandsatr ightnextt ome.He
smel leddevi ne.Hewor eabl ackj eanandcl ean
whi t
eshi rt.Hel ookedathi sphoneandgr abbedt he
oppor tunitytol ookathi sf ace.Hi sski nlooksso
smoot h,thecol orofhoney.Notonl ydoeshesmel l
good, hel ooksgoodt oo.Ist aredoutt hewi ndowt o
notst ar eunt ilheaskswhatmypr oblem is.Hi m:
"Hi"
, hesai dbutIdi dn' tl
ookathi m becausef orallI
knowhei sonhi sphone.If eltagent l
et aponmy
shoul der .Itur nedt of acehi m." Hi,"hesmi l
ed.He
l
ookedevenmor ehandsome.Nt ombi :"
Hel l
o,"I
fl
ashedabi gner voussmi l
e, t
oobi gofasmi le.Him:
"Sonwabi l
eRhasi ",heext endedhi shand.It ookmy
nowmoi sthandandshookhi s.Nt ombi :
"Ntombi kayi sePot o,"If eltawkwar d.Outofpl aceall
thesudden.Coul dIaskt obemovedt oanot her
seat ?,Iwonder ed.Soso:" I'
venevermetsucha
beaut ifulNt ombi kayi sebef ore,
"hesai di nhissweet
yetmanl yvoi ce.Ibl ushedl ikeal ovesi ckteenager .
"Soar eyougoi ngt oCapeTownf orbusi nessor
pleasur e, Yise? "heaskedwhi lepr essinghi sphone.
Hepr essedt hesi debut tonoft hemobi lemaki ng
thescr eengobl ackandt urnedt ol ookatme.I
coul dnotmai nt aineyecont actforl ong.Nt ombi :
"Uhm. .
.I'm goi ngt oaweddi ng,"Isai dsof tl
y.My
cheeksf elrwar m.I tsast houghsomeonehel dupa
smal lf i
r eonbot hcheeks.Soso:" Ohwow, met oo.
Wel lI'
m goi ngf orwor kt oobutyeaht omor rowI 'l
lbe
atmyf riend'sweddi ng.Doyoul i
vei nPor t
Elizabet h? "
,heaskedNt ombi :"PortEl izabeth? ,
"I
asked.Ihear dhisquest i
onsyetIhadt or eply
awkwar dl y.Whyi sthi shappeni ng?Hesmi l
ed.
"YeahIdo.Notf orever.I'm heret ost udy.Il ivein
Peddi e.ImeanIl i
vei nPor tEli
zabet hyes, butI '
m
from Peddi e,"Icouldnotst opr ambl ing.Iwi shthe
ear t
hcoul dopenandswal lowme." Uhm. ..andyou? "
Irubbedmysweat ypal msonmyj eant odr y.Soso:
"Bor nandbr edi nBisho.Iwor katNet care
Gr eenacr esHospi t
al.I'm apedi atrician.I'm aheal er
ofchi l
dr en" ,
hej okedanddi dhisbestsuper man
pose.Webot hlaughed." Whatdoest hebeaut i
ful
Mi ssPot istudy?"heaskedwi t
hasmi le.Nt ombi :
"Wel li
t'snowher enearasi mportantaswhatyou
do.I '
m af ir
styearFi nanci alManagementst udent",
hesmi ledandnodded.Soso:" Isitt osoont oask
youadvi ceonsomeofmyf i
nanci aldeci sion,"he
joked.Nt ombi :"Wayt oosoon" ,Ilaughed" Icouldtell
youwher et ospendaf ewr andsonsomegood
cof f
eet hough" ,
hesmi led.Soso:" Okay, okayf or
nowI '
lltaket hatadvi cebutonl yifyoupr omi seto
havet hecof feewi thme, "her aisedhi sr i
ghtbr owi n
suchasexyway.If eltanel ect r
ifyi
ngspar kr ace
from t hebot t om par tofmybr ar ightdownt omy
feet .Nt ombi :"Idon'thavet imef orcof f
ee,"hemade
asadf acel eavi ngasmi l
eonmyf ace.Soso:
"Please, I'm sur esomewher ebet weenyourl ect ur es
andgr oupmeet ingsyouhaveasl ot.Howwi l
lyou
knowyou' vegi vemet herightadvi ceonwher et o
spendmyf ewr andsi fyouwon' tbet heret olistent o
myf eedbackonhowt hecof fetast es,"Ntombi :"I'l
l
giveyouananswerwhenwel and.Thi sismyf irst
fl
ightandseei ngt hatI'mfarf rom t hegr oundhas
meabi tner vous, "Ilookedoutt hewi ndowagai n.I
feltast ronggr ipar oundmyhand.Il ookeddown
andsawt hebeaut ifulbl
endofchocol ateand
car amelourhandsmade.Il ookedathi m andhe
gavemear eassur ingsmi le.Usual l
yI 'dgetmyhand
backf rom amanbuthavi nghi si nmi nemademe
feell essner vousaboutf l
yi ng.Soso:" Areyouaf an
ofwi nterweddi ngs? ",heaskedcasual l
yasi fhei s
nothol di ngmyhandi nhiswhenheknowsnot hing
aboutmebutmynameandwhatIst udy.Nt ombi :"I
havenott houghtabouti t
.Iguessi twor ksf orZwel i
andZi .
.."Soso:" You' r
egoi ngt oZwel iand
Zimkhi t
ha'sweddi ng.DrZi m?"Inodded." Wel lshut
thef rontdoor .I'
m al sogoi ngt her e.IknowZi m.We
metaf ewyear sago.Wow! ,
"hesai dwi thgr eat
exci t
ement .Nt ombi :"Itseemst hewor ldi si ndeeda
smal lpl ace,"Isai dsof tly.Soso:" Isthatabad
thing? "hel ookedatme.Nt ombi :I t'
sbot hgoodand
bad.I t'
sast or yforanot herday" , Ilookeddown
breaki ngeyecont act .Soso:" Pleasebemypl usone
ormakemeyourpl usone, "heaskedni cely.Nt ombi:
"Idon' tknow, Sonwabi le,"Isaidi nawhi sper .One
woul dsweart hepoorguyaskedf ormar riaget he
wayI '
m goi ngon.Soso:" I'
m agr eatdancerandI '
ve
gotsomedr yj okes,"webot hlaughed." Orar eyoua
par toft hebr idalpar tyandhaveapar tner ?"Nt ombi :
"I'
m notandIdon' thaveapar tner .I'
m notagr eat
dancerandI 'vegotnoj okesei ther ,
"hel aughed.
Soso: "I'
vegotpl entyofbot ht ocoverusbot h.
Pleasesavemef rom t hedesper at eladiesIhave
metatweddi ngswhoonl ygot of indhusbands, "he
placedhi sot herhandoverhi sface.Hi sot herhand
stil
lhol dingont omysweat yone.Nt ombi :"Wemi ght
notevenhavemat chingout fi
ts,
"Icameupwi tha
l
ameexcuse.Soso:" Mynavybl uesui tgoeswi th
prettymuchanycol our,"het ri
edt oconvi nceme.
Ntombi :"Okay,I'l
lmakeyoumypl usoneonl y
becauseI 'dhatet oseeyousuf ferint hehands
thesedesper atewomen"Isai dandhi ssmi le
becamebi gger.Hei ssuchagoodl ookingman.We
spokeaboutal otoft hi
ngsdur i
ngt hef l
ight.Ieven
forgotI '
m nervous.Hesoundsl ikesuchf unandhi s
j
okesar enotal ldr y.Somemademel aughsol oud
thatot herpassenger slookedatusannoyed.When
wear ri
vedi nCapeTownIf i
nall
yletmyhandoutof
his.Myhandf eltwar m andnott oment ionwetandI
i
magi nehi swast oo.It hankedhi mf orhi scompany.
Weexchangednumber sandabr i
efhugbef or
e
partingways.Ican' tremembert hel asttimeaman
huggedmewi thmeani ng.I twasshor tyetso
comf orti
ng.Mr sBhadal r
eadybeenwai ti
ngf orme.
Shewassohappyt oseemeandcoul dn'tstop
ravingabouthowt onedmybodyi s.Shet ol
dme
thatZi m want edhert odr opmeof fatavenue
wher eZi m andherf r
iendshadal adi esonl yget
together .Iwant edt oobj ectbutagr eedt ogo
becauseofdi dn' twantt oruinZim'sni ght.Goi ng
shoppi ngwi thXol iwasagoodi deabecauseIhad
anout fi
tf orthepar t
y.Byt hetimeIar ri
vedatt he
venuet hel adieswer ealreadyt i
psy.Zi m came
runni ngt owar dsmeandgavemeal ong, longhug.
Wehadnotseeneachot hersinceIl efthermot her'
s
home.Zi m:" Ladies,thisismysi ster,Ntombi .She's
comeal lt hewayf rom PE, "sheshout ed.Herf riends
raisedt hei rglassesi ngr eeti
ngandsoonof f
er edme
shoot ers.Iaskedf oralcoholfreechampagne
i
nst ead.Zi mt hankedmef orcomi ngandshower ed
mewi t
hdr unkkisses.Thepar t
ywaswi l
dandIwas
havi ngt het imeofmyl i
fe.Soont herewer e
stripperswhower enotshyt ot akeof fallthei r
clothing.Icover edmyeyesbecauseofhadnot
seenapeni sinal ongt ime.Zim andherf riendsar e
wildandnaught ybutt heydi dn'tmakemef eel
pressur edt odoingt hingsIdi dn'twantt o.Af tera
fewhour sofcr azyf unanddanci ngthet ranspor t
droppedmeof fattheB&B.WhenIcheckedt het ime
i
twas4am butt hankf ull
yZi mishavi ngan
afternoonweddi ng.I tseemst heCapeTown
weat herwi llbehave.I t
'sabi tcoldbutt hesunwas
outear lieron.Myphoner ang.Ithoughti twas
Makhul ubuti tcouldn'tbe, notatf ourint he
mor ning.WhenIcheckedt hescr eenSoso' sname
appear ed.Ipi ckedupbecauseIdi dn' tfeelsleepy.I
answer edbutt ol dhi m Ican' tt al
kf orlongbecauseI
neededsl eep.I tseemsIdi dn'tneedt oomuchsl eep
becausewespokeovert hephonef oroveranhour s.
Hemakesmel augh.Igavehi mt henameoft he
placeI 'm st ayingi nandhepr omi sedt obeont i
me.I
putapi ll
owovermyf ace, usual lyi t'
sbecauseI
want edt osi l
encet hesoundsofmyl at enightcr i
es
sot hatMi keandXol iwoul dn' thearbutnott onight.
Toni ghtIwast ryi ngt osilencet hescr eamsof
exci tementaf terendi ngt hecal l
.Whyi st hisman
maki ngmef eelt hisway?ThenextdayIt extedMr s
Bt ellinghershedi dn'thavet owor ryabout
arrangi ngacart opi ckmeupt ogot ot hevenue
becauseI 'llber idi ngwi thaf riend.Idon' tknowwhy
Itrust edamanImetj ustaf ewhour sago.Foral lI
knowhecoul dbeaser i
al kil
ler.Ar eser ialkil
lersso
goodl ooking?Iusedt hehour sbef oret heweddi ng
tor est .Ical ledZi m whowasaner vouswr eckand
gaveherwel lwi shes.I '
m hopi ngt hatwecanbe
fri
endsagai n.Ti mewentbyqui cklyandIhadt oget
readyf orthebeaut if
ulcelebr ation.Af terbat hingI
didmymakeup.Xol ior deredmet osendhera
pict
ur eandmyt eachergavemeapass.Ichosea
mast eredcol oureddr esswi thnosl eeves.I tcover ed
mychestcompl etelybuthadaver ylowVcutatt he
back.Theopenbackwassol owi tdidn' tall
owme
towearanyunder wear .Iwasaf r
aidmybut tcr ack
wouldshowbutt hedr essf itjustper fect l
y.It
huggedmybodyt ight
lyandshowedof fmycur ves
j
ustr ight.Xolusai dIshoul dn'trunouti mmedi at ely
whenSonwabi lesayshei sout sidebecausei t
wouldmakemeseem desper at e.Sowhenhecal l
ed
tosayhei sout sideIsatonmybedf orf ivemi nut es
beforeheadi ngout .Il
ookedatmysel fint hemi rr
or
foronel asttimebef oret akingmycl utch.If ound
Sosol eaningagai nstabeaut ifulnavybl uecar ,
whichmat chedhi ssuit.Thesui tmusthavebeen
custom madebecausei tfithiml ikeacl ovemaki ng
himl ook...
sexy.Hesmi ledandappr oachedme
whenhesawme.Hescannedmef rom headt ot oe
maki ngmef eelshy.Soso:" Youl ookbeaut i
ful,"he
smiledbendhi sel bow.It hankedhi m bef oreput ti
ng
myar minhi s.Heopenedt hedoorf orme.Li yema
hasdonet hataf ewt i
mesbutt hatwasbecausehe
didn'
twantmet ot akest rainaf t
erf erti
li
ty
treat
ment s.Sosoi sdoi ngitbecausehei sa
gentleman.Wel lIhopesoanyway.Hewentovert o
hisside,goti nanddr oveof f.Hecompl iment edme
againandagai nonunexpect edmoment sdur ing
ourconver sation.I fhecar ri
edonIf earedmy
under ar
msmi ghtsweatbecauset hecarsuddenl y
feltt
oohott houghtt her ewasacoolbr eezei nCape
Town.Wear ri
vedatt heweddi ngvenueatanest ate
i
nt heCapeWi nelands.Wow, Zim andZwel imust
havespental otofmoneyt ohi r
et hispl ace.
Sonwabi lecameovert omysi det oopent hedoor
forme.Ther ewer eaf ewcar spar kedal ready.We
madeourwayt ot hechapelandchoset osi tinthe
secondr owseat s.Wewant edt oseeever ything.
Soonguest sfloodedi n.Mr sBwor eabeaut if
ultwo
piecesuitpai r
edwi thabi ghat .Shehuggedmeand
greetedSoso.Shegavemet hat" l
at erIwantt ohear
everythi
ng"l ook.SosoandIspokeaboutt hedecor
andot herthings.Heappar entlywant sar uralwhi t
e
weddi ngwher eever yonei sinvitedt oat tend.He
keptaskingwhatIpi cturemyweddi ngwoul dbel i
ke.
"Ihavenott houghtoft hat"
,wast heanswerIgave.I
l
ookedbackt oseei fthebr i
dalpar tyhasnotl i
ned
upatt heent r
anceyet ,insteadIsawLi yema' sf ace.
Hewasavoi dingeyecont act.Hecl earedhi st hroat
andl ookedst raightahead.Ideci dednott oal low
himt oruinmyday.It urnedmyat tentiont omydat e
agai n.Thegr oom andhi sgr oomsmencamei nand
stoodi nt hei
rposi ti
ons.Soont hemusi cstartedand
thebr i
desmai dswal kedi n.Theyl ookedbeaut if
ul.
Themusi cchangedandZi m wal kedi nwi than
elder l
yman, maybei t
'sheruncl e.Hadi tbeenmeI 'd
havepr eferr
edmymot hert owal kmedownt he
aisle.Shewor eawhi tebal llikeweddi ngdr essand
hadt helongestvei l
.Ever yonest oodwhenshe
madeherwaydownt heai sle.Mr sBwascr ying
already.Sonwabi lelookedatmewi thsuchki nd
eyesandsmi ledbef oret urninghi sheadt olookat
Zim agai n.Myhandwasi nhi sagai nandhi st humb
brushedt hetopofmyhandgent ly.Ilookedupt o
checkt hebackofhi shead.Hehasat att
ooora
birthmar konhi sbackt hatshowedabi tont op.I t
l
ookedl ikeabi r
thmar k.Myat t
ent ionshoul dhave
beenonZi m yetitwasnot .Het urnedt ol ookatme
agai nandf oundmest arri
ng.iqui cklyl ookedatt he
bridehopi nghewon' taskwhyIwasst arring.The
ceremonyst arted, thecoupl eexchangedvowsand
wer ehusbandandwi fe.I
'm happyf orthem
becauseIknowt heweddi ngal mostdi dn'thappen.
Bot hSosoandIgoti nvi
tedwi t
hcl osef ami l
yand
fri
endst ot akepi ctureswi ththecoupl e.Sosodi d
thecr azi estandr andom t hingswhi chmademe
l
augh.I 'm sur emymout hiswideopenduet o
l
aughi ngt oomuchi nallthepictureswe' rein
toget her.Zim camet ogr eetherf ri
endandIguesd
colleaguessi ncet heyar ebothdoct ors.She
conf essedt opl anningonhooki ngmeupwi thSoso
andwashappyt oseewedi dn'tneedhel p.Wewent
tot her eceptionar eat owelcomet henewl yweds.
Theydi dt heirent rancedanceandi twasf un.Soso
alsomadeaspeechandgavewel lwishest othe
coupl e.Whent hef oodgotser vedi tseemsmydat e
onlycar edaboutf eedingmebecausehef edme
foodf r
om hi spl ateevent houghIhadmi nei nfront
ofme.Nomanhasf edme.Bongahasbutonl y
becausehehi tmesohar dthepr eviousni ghtt hat
myhandscoul dn'tmove.Ti mef ort hedanci ng
cameandmydat ewasnotasgoodatdanci ngas
het hi nksbuthef i
ghtcar e.ItseemsSosol iveslife
tot hef ullest.Ican' tdanceei therbuthi s"dancel ike
noone' swat ching"r ubbedof fonme.TheDJpl ayed
asl owdancel ovesong.Sosoopenedbot hhi sar ms.
Ist oodcl osert oohi m.Socl oseIcoul df eelhis
war m br eat honmyf ace.If elthishandsont hebar e
cur veofmyback.Hi stouchsentshi versdownmy
body.Somuchsot hatgoosebumpsf ormedonmy
arms.Het houghtI 'm coldbutIassur edhi mI '
m
okay.Icoul dn'texact l
ytellhimi t'
sbecauseofhi m.I
didn' tknowwher et oplacemyhands.Het ookmy
armsandputt hem onhi sshoul der.Ii nsti
nctively
wr appedmyar msar oundhi sneck.Wemovedl eft
andr ightwi tht herhythm oft hesong.Ther ewas
notmuchei therofuscoul ddobutot hercoupl es
didt hesamesowewer en'tembar rassi ngour selves.
Hel ower edhi sheadandhi sforeheadki ssedmi ne.
ForamomentIt houghthewasgoi ngt okissmebut
hedi dn't
.Hej ustlookedatmeandsmi l
ed.Thef eel
ofhi m socl osemadepar t
sofmegethotandI
i
magi nesomewet .Soso:" Ili
ket hi
s,"hesai dina
whi sper .Nt ombi :"Ili
keittoo, "Isai
dandcoul dn'
t
believet hosewor dsescapedmymout haf ter
mont hsofswear ingof fmen.Hehuggedme.
Shoul dn' tIbest oppi ngt his?Whydoesi tfeelso
good?Icoul df eelthewar mt hofhi sski nandIcoul d
feelthebul gei nhi spant swhi chsur prisinglydidn't
caremeaway.Thedancedi nt hediml itdancef l
oor
andIdi dn' twanti ttoend.Wemor elikehugged
danced.IcaughtZi ml ooki ngatusandmaki nga
thumbsupandhear tsigned.Wewoul d
occasi onal lyt urnedj ustsoi twoul dl ookl i
kewe' re
actual lydanci ng.IsawLi yemasi t
tingatadi stance
table.Hewasst arringbutl ookedawayassoonas
hesawI 'ml ookingathi m.If ightcar eabouthi m.
Toni ghthedi dn'tmat ter.Itwasal laboutZi m, her
husbandandt hemanhol dingme.Amanwhowas
ast rangert hatf eltfami li
ar.Wemadeourway
outside.I twascol dbutSonwabi legavemehi s
j
acket .Theest atelookedmor ebeaut if
ulatni ght
witht hel ight son.Wesatonabenchi nsi l
ence
whenIf eltSoso' sar m ar oundmyshoul der.
Suddenl yayoungwai tresscamehol dingt wocups
ofhotcof fee.Il ookedatSosoconf used.We
thankedt heyoungl adyandshewal kedaway.Soso:
"Sinceyouhavenotgi venmeananswerabout
havingcof feewi thmeaf t
erourf l
ightasyousai d,I
thoughtI '
dt aket odayasanoppor tunitytoshar ea
cof f
eewi thyou, "het ookasi pofhi scof feebuti t
wast oohotwhi chbur nthispoorl ips.Wor ri
edsi ckI
offeredt otakeal ookathi sl i
p.Onewoul dsweaehe
gotbur ntbyal i
vef ir
et hewayIwasconcer ned.I
thoughtsi nceIhaven' tdrankmycof f
eei swesati n
thecol d.Mycooll ipswoul dai dhi sbur ntones.I
thinki twasj ustani mpul siveexcuset oki sshi m.I
hadmyl i
psonhi sbef orehecoul dsayanyt hing.
Hisl i
pswer ewar m agai nstmycol dones.Ipeel ed
myl ipsf r
om hi sandf eltsoexposed.Whoki ssesa
manshemetj ustyest erday?Het riedtomaket he
moodl essawkwar dbysayi nghi slipsfeltbet ter.I
feltli
kedyi ngat housanddeat hs.WhenIst oodt o
wal kawayhest oppedme.Hi slipsl andedonmi ne
onceagai nbutt hist imewi thintention.Ir esponded
tohi ski ss.Itf el
tl ikeIhadbeenki ssedi ncor rectl
y
alltheseyear s.Sosowasi nnor ush.Hi sbr eathdid
notr eekofal coholandt abacco.Ist oppedt heki sd
andmywar mst ear ssoonf l
ewdownmycheeks.He
l
ookedconcer ned.Hi sthumbswi pedmyt earsof f
.I
feltpat hetic.Igavehi m hi sjacketandl ikea
dramat i
cgi r
linamovi escener anaway.Iwentt o
tel
lMr sBI '
ml eavingandl uckilythenewl ywedshad
l
ef talready.WhenIar ri
vedatt heB&BIgota
chancet ocr y.WhatwasIt hinking?Menar eal lt
he
sameoratl eastt heonesImeet .Theyst ar
tof
sweetandt henchange.BongaandLi yemawer e
l
iket hat .I'
m sur eSosowant edt osleepwi t
hmeand
that'sit.Myphoner angandbeepedf orhalft he
nightunt i
l Iswi t
chedi toff.Iwasnotgoi ngtobea
oneni ghtst andt oamanpr etendi ngtobeki nd.I '
m
sur eifIdi dn'thavesexwi t
hhi m, whichIwoul dn't
he'dgr owmeoutf ir
stthingint hemor ni
nglikeused
good.I 'm notaf oolanymor e.
[
03/
28,
17:
08]Lynne:THI
RTYFOUR

LI
YEMA

Ipersonal
lydidnotenjoyMr sBam'sdaughter
's
weddingcelebrat
ion.IwishIhadnotall
owedVusi
toconvicemet obehispl usone.I
'
m surepeople
thoughtwewer eagaycoupl e.Bet
weenMr sBam' s
coldst areswheneverhereyecaughtmi neand
seeingNt ombii twasdi f
ficultt
oenj oy.Icoul dnot
keepmyeyesof fNt ombiandhernewboyf riend
couldnotkeephi shandsof fher.Whocoul dbl ame
him?Shel ookedbeaut if
ul.Thewayshel ostal lthe
babywei ghtisr emar kable.Idon' tknowwhybutI
fel
tsi ckwheneverhermanputherhandsonher ,
especi al
lywhenhepl acedhi shandsont hesmal lof
herbar ebackwhi ledanci ng.Ther ewer eoccasi ons
hetouchedherper f
ect l
yshapedbehi ndandt hose
weret hemoment st hatmademewantt ogetup
andl eave.Ont hebr i
ghtsi deoft hebaddaywe
managedt omakenewbusi nesscont acts.Thatwas
theonl yhi ghl
ighttot hatday.WhenIar rivedIf ound
theboyssl eepingal readyaf tergi vingt heirnannya
hardt imeandper hapsevenaf ewgr eyhai rs.After
thebadexper i
enceatt heweddi ngj ustl ooki ngat
them madeever ythi
ngel seseem smal l
.Theyhave
grownt obecomequi ttheadvent ur ers.Ifcr awling
wasanOl ympi cspor t,myboyswoul dallhave
gottengol dmedal s.Theyseem t of indt hesmal lest
ofobj ectsi ntheoddestpl acest oosoIhadt obaby
prooft hehouse.Theyar ealsowal kingwi tht he
assi stanceoff ur nit
ure.Theycanwavegoodbye
whenaper sonl eavesandhavebeent ryi
ngt out ter
af ewwor dsbutt heyar en' tther eyet .I
naf ew
mont hst heyar esur etosayaf ewwor dsandwal k
ont hei rown.Tobepr esentwhi let heyhadt hei r
milest oneshasbeenabl essi ngandIl ookf ort o
mor e.Banel ehasnothadabr eatht aki
ngepi sodei n
awhi lenow, i
nf actithasbeenweeks.I 'm hopi ngin
thenextappoi nt mentt hedoct orwi llsayhehas
out growni t
.Theyhavest ol ent hehear tsofmy
empl oyeesandmychur chpeopl e.Soont heywi l
lbe
turningayearol d.Af t
erseei ngNt ombiatt he
weddi ng,Ideci dedt oallowhert oshet hem shoul d
shest il
lwantt o.Ihavenott houghtabouthowshe
willf i
tinourl ivesbutIt hi nkhavi ngheri nthei rli
ves
willhel pthem t oo.Vusicl aimsIwantheri nthei rl
ife
soshecoul dbecl osertome.Thatseei ngherwi th
anot hermanmademer eal i
zet hatIst illhave
feelingsf orher .Afterawhi l
eofdenyi ngi tIfinally
accept edit.I'
vegotf eelingsf orNt ombi kayisePot i
andIdon' tknowwhatt odowi tht hem.Shehas
movedonandseemedt rulyhappy.Ican' tbreakher
upwi thhermanonl yt or i
skhur t
ingher .Wi l
lshe
evenacceptmyst at us?Wi llsheeverbeabl eto
forgivemef orkeepi ngt heboysawayf rom her ?I
thi
nki tisbestIkeepmyf eelingst omysel fandl et
herseet heboys.It hinkshecanvi sitwhenevershe
canbecauseaf teraski ngar ound, Ifoundt hatshei s
ast udenti nNMU.I 'm pr oudofherf ortryingt o
betterherl if
e.I tseemsIhadt herightpi ctur eoft he
womanshei sbef oreIf oundoutaboutt hem
conni ngme.If eell ikecr apf orpai ntingherasa
selfi
sht hug.Per hapsshecoul dcomet oCapeTown
foraf ewdayseacht i
meshei sonschoolbr eakt o
seet heboys.Wi llthatbeenoughf orher ?I'vebeen
i
nt ouchwi thhergr andf ather .Igothi snumberf r
om
thehospi t
alaf teraski ngoneoft hest af
fni cely.It
seemst heol dmanwant smet opaydamagesf or
hisdaught er.Iwi llgett othatwhenI '
vespokent o
Ntombi .MrMl andusuggest edItal kt oherwhen
shei sbacki nPor tEl i
zabet h.Hecal lledt oinf orm
met hatshehadgonebackandIbookedaf l
ightfor
todayt hatsameday.I 'm sur ebei ngsecr etlyin
touchwi thmei sdi fficultforMrMl andubutI
assur edhi m myai mi snott ohur thi schi ld.I '
m
hopi ngsheandIcansi tdownandj usttalk.
Per hapswor koutasol utiont ooursi t
uat i
on.I '
m not
takingt heboyswi thyetbecauseIf ear
over whel mingher .Theywi llbeatmypar ent's
houseunt i
lI'm back.I '
vebeent oPor tEl i
zabet ha
numberoft imesf orbot hbusi nessandpl easurebut
I'
m notsur ewhatt olabelt histri
pas.I sitbusi ness
orpl easur e?Af terdr oppingt heboysof fast he
exci tedgr andpar entshouseImademywayt ot he
airpor t.Mypar ent shavenotst ayedadayort wo
alonewi ththeboyssi ncet heyhavebecomemobi l
e.
I'
m sur eaf terthist heywon' teverwantt o.Theyar e
ajoybutanexhaust ingonesomet imes.Nt ombi
l
ivesi nast udenthousei nHumewood.I '
mf ami l
iar
witht hesubur bsoIshoul dnotgetl ost .WhenI
arrivedi nPEIhi redacarf ortwodays.Ican' tstay
l
ongsoIhopeNt ombiwi llbewel comi ngaf tera
whi le.Thesuni salreadyst art
ingt osetbuti twas
notdar kyet .Thewi ndblewcol dandi twasi n
moment sliket heset hatIt houghtoft hehomel ess.I
drovear oundf orwhatseemedl ikef oreverunabl e
tof i
ndt hehouse.Isawt hreeyoungmenappr oach.
Ithinkt heymi ghtbest udent s.Bysomel uckt hey
mi ghtevenknowNt ombi .Ipar kedt hecarbyt he
sideoft her oadandcr ossedthestreettogetto
them.Theyseemedf ri
endlyatfi
rstbutIsoonf elta
fistblowr i
ghtinmygut .Itwasanambush.If ought
backbutt heyoungst ersweretoostrong.Il
yingon
thet arroadbef or
eIknewi t
.Theykickedand
punchedme.Ihear daf emalevoiceshoutforhel p.
Itmusthavest art
ledmyat t
ackersbecausethey
searchedmypocket s,foundmycel l
phoneinone
andr anoff.Theladycamer unni
ngt omeaf t
ert hey
ranof f
.Icouldseeherdr opherbagt oruntome
faster .

“Areyouokay?”shehel
pedmesi tup.Ithinkthey
brokeari
bbecausemysi dewashur ti
ngbad.
“You'r
ebleedi
ng”,
sheadded.Shewant edt otouch
myf acewhichIguesswasthepartthatisbleeding.

“
Don'
ttoucht
hebl
oodpl
ease”
,Imanagedt
osay.

“Let
'sgotomypl
ace,f
orallweknowtheywentt
o
gettheot
her
.Canyoustand?”
,shehel
dmyarm
t
ryi
ngt
ohel
pmeup.

“
I'
llmanaget
hanks,
”Igotup.

Itoldhert hatI'
m par kedcr osstheroad.She
i
nsi stedt hatIgot oherpl acesoshecoul dcheck
mywoundsoutsi nceIdi dn'twanttogot oa
hospi tal
.Igavei nanddeci dedtogowi t
hher .She
wentbackt opi ckherbagup.Iaskedherwhatshe
wasdoi ngal oneatni ghtwhent her
ear er obbers
around.Shet oldmeshehasj ustgottenof fataxi
from var sity.Shecl aimedt hosemightbest udents
whot ookachancebecauset hei
rneighbor hoodis
usual lysaf e.Shedi r
ectedmet oherpl ace.I'
mj ust
gladt hati twasmet heymuggedandnother
becauset heymi ghthavedonef arwor set oher.My
foreheadhasasmal l cutthatbledoutt oomuchf or
i
tssi ze.Icoul dnotl ethert ouchmewi thoutrubber
gloveson.Thel astthingIwanti st
oinf ectsomeone
whohel pedmeoutofabadsi t
uati
on.She
i
nt r
oducedher sel fasXol i
le.Shespokesomuch
shedi dnotevenbot hert oknowmyname.Ihadt o
askherwher et otur nonnumer ousoccasi ons
becauseshe' df orgett odi rectme.Shef inall
ytold
met opar katawhi teandr edpai ntedhouse.I
pul l
edmycari ntot hedr i
vewayandf ol
lowedbehi nd
hert ot hef r
ontdoor .Sheunl ockedt hebur gl
argat e
andwewenti nside.I twasqui etinsi de.Ayoung
manwasbusycooki ng.Xol i t
oldhi m myst oryand
heapol ogizedf ormymi sf ortuneast houghhewas
responsi ble.Ihear dadoordownt hepassageopen
andcl ose.Xol isai dit'sthei rotherhousemat e.She
excusedher sel ftogogett hef irstai dkit.Myr i
bi s
sor ebuti tseemsi tisnotbr oken.Mi keexcused
himsel ft
oo.If i
gur et heawkwar dsi l
encemusthave
beent oomuchf orhi m becausei twasf orme.
Whenhedi sappear edi ntot hepassageIwas
relieved.Xol ishout edt hatshewi llbewi t
hmesoon
from anot herr oom.Hervoi cei sloudsoIhear dher
clear l
y.Someonei swal kingdownt hepassage
draggi ngt heirf eet.Thesoundannoyedt hehel lout
ofme.Nt ombiusedt odot hatwhenshewor e
slipper sbutInevert oldheri twor ksonmyner ve.
Speaki ngofNt ombiIhavet oaskXol ii
fsheknows
herbyanychance.Agirl
swalkedint
othekit
chen
whereIsat.Icoul
dnotgetalookatherf
ace
becauseshewasr ubbi
ngitwit
hherhands.I
'm
guessi
ngshehasj ustwokenup.

Liyema:“Hi
.”Isaidtoletherknowshehad
company.Shel ookedatmeandIr eal
izedit'
s
Ntombi.Shescr eamedbeforedisappearingdown
thepassageinar ush.Iguessbetweent hebloody
faceandshockofhavi ngast r
angemani nher
houseshedi dnotseei t
'sme.She,XoliandMi ke
soonappeared.Shegotachancet olookatme
proper
ly.

Ntombi:“Li
yema?”shesaidwhil
ewalki
ngclosel
y.
“You'
rebleedi
ng,
”shepointedoutt
heobvi
ousand
t
r i
edt
ot ouchmyface,

Li
yema:“I'
m okay,
pleasedon'
ttoucht
hebl
ood”
,I
warned.
Ntombi:“Ij
ustwanttoseehowbaditis,
”sherai
sed
herhandstomyf ace.Ihel
dthem,
stoppingt
hem
fr
om touching.

Li
yema:“Dammit
,Ntombi
,Isai
ddon'
ttoucht
he
damnbloodpl
ease,
”Isai
dinfr
ust
rat
ion.

Shelower edherar msandIhat edforsnappi ngat

herbutIcan'tallowhert otouchmybl ood.Xol i
askedifI'
m“ theeLi yema”andNt ombinodded.That
waswher eXol i
'shospi tal
itystopped.Shegaveme
anearfulaboutt het ypeofmanIam f orhurtingher
fri
endbeforedr amat ical
lywalkingaway.Mi kegave
ussomepr i
vacyt oo.Nt ombit ookt hef i
rstaidkit,
putpurplerubbergl ovesonandwal kedcl oserto
checkonmywound.Shedi dnotsayanyt hi
ngafter
Isnappedather .Iapologizedbutshest i
llgaveme
thesil
enttreatmentwhi l
eat t
endi ngt omycut .When
shewasdonesheaskedmet ol eave.Ipl eadedlike
neverbeforeforhert ohearmeoutf ir
st.Af t
era
whileshetol
dmet ofol
lowhersowecouldtal
k
pri
vatel
y.Wewentdownt hepassageandi
ntoone
ofthebedroom.Icl
osedthedoorbehi
ndus.

Ntombi:“I
t'
samessi nhere.I
'vejustarri
ved,
”she
l
iednotknowi ngthatIknowshear r
ivedafewdays
agobutIdidnotmi ndthemess.“Youcansi tonthe
bedifyoulike,
”shepointedattheundi dbed.I
l
ower edmysel fi
ntothehardsinglebed.Iremember
thesebedsf r
om myst udentdays.

Liyema:“
Thanks.Howar eyou?
”,shesatnexttome.
Theshortpajamashor tshehadonwentupher
thighmorereveal
inghersmoothchocolatethi
ghs.
Shegrabbedt heduvetandcoveredherl
egswi t
hit
.

Ntombi
:“Whyareyouher
e?I'
m sur
eit
'snott
oask
howIam,”shesai
dinacoldt
oneandIdeser
vedi
t.

Li
yema:“
I'
vecomet
otal
ktoyouaboutt
heboys,
”
shet
urnedherbodysoi
twoul
dfaceme.

Ntombi
:“I
ssomethi
ngwrong?Ar
etheysi
ck?
”,she
askedi
npani
c.Ishookmyhead.

Liyema:“No,theyarewell
,allofthem.Theonly
peoplewhowi llbesickar
emypar entsaft
er
spendingtimewi t
hthem alone,
”Ilaughedsoft
lybut
shelookedatmel i
keI'
m crazy.“
Uhm, I
'
vecomeso
wecoul dtal
kaboutawayf orwardthatwil
lworkfor
thesixofus,”Isaidwhil
elookingather.

Nt
ombi:“
Whynow?
”sheaskedaval
idquest
ion.
Whynow?

Li
yema:“Ir
eal
izedhowi mpor
tantamot
heri
sto
chi
ldr
en,
”sheraisedherbr
ow.

Nt
obmi
:“Youmi
ster“
shei
snott
hei
rmot
her
,she
j
ustr
ent
edherwomb,
”shesai
dwi
thanat
ti
tude.

Li
yema:“
What?Ineversai
dyour
ent
edyourwomb,
”
Ist
oodfr
om t
hebed.

Ntombi :“
Youmightaswellhavesaidit
.Nowyougo
'
oht heyneedtheirmot
her'
afteryoukeptt
hem
awayf rom meelevenmonths.Whynow?Ar eyou
dying?”shecamet ost
andinfrontofme.

Liyema:“Andwhatmakesyout hi
nkI'
dhavel eft
them inyou..
.”,
Istoppedmysel ff
rom f
ini
shingthe
sentence.“Look,Ntombi,Idon'
twantaf i
ght.Ij
ust
wantt otal
ktoyoul iket
woci vi
li
zedadult
s,”Iadded.

Ntobmi:“NO!Continue,Li
yema.Whywoul dyou
l
eavethem withmewhenI 'm nott
heirmother
,ri
ght
?
Thatwaswhatyouwer egoingt osay,
”shepoint
ed
atme.Ihadt otakeadeepbr eathbecauseoneof
ushadt okeeptheircoolandIwasnotexpecting
hert
obecauseshei
sinf
ullr
ightt
obeangr
y.

Liyema:“Pleaseletustal
kaboutt hist
omorr
ow.I '
l
l
stil
lbei
nPE.Ihavenotbookedi ntoaB&Byetbut
onceIhaveI 'l
lsendyouthedet ail
sandwecould
perhapstalkthere.Ar
eyoust i
llusingt
henumber
youwer eusing?”shejustgavemeadeat hstare.If
l
ookscoul dkillI
'
dbebur i
edbynow.

Ntombi:“HowdidyouknowI '
minPE?Infacthow
di
dyouknowyou' dfi
ndmeatt hi
shouse?”,she
stoodclosert
ome.“Youwantsomethi
ngf r
om me
andIwantt oknowwhatthati
s”,
sheadded.

Liyema:“Onlyyourt i
meandear sbecauseIneedt o
talktoyou”Isaidcalml y.Shedidnotr eply.“I
'm
assumi ngyouar esti
llusingyourol dnumber .I'
ll
callyouorrathertextyoubecausesomet hingtel
l
meyouwon' tanswermycal l
.I'
lltextyout hedetai
ls
ofwher eI'
l
lbesowecanmeet .Ifyouwantmet o
comegetyout henpleasesayso.Theyt ookthe
phoneIuseforpersonalusebutthi
sisthenumber
ofmywor kcell
phone.Pleasetel
lmeifyouwil
l
comeornot,”Il
eftmybusi nesscar
donherbed.

Iwasaboutt oleavewhenshet oldmet hatshe

won'tmeetmeatmyt erms.Shesai dshe'dbet he
onetochooseapl acetomeetandt heti
me.Sayi ng
thatshewilltextmet hedet ail
sandnott heot her
wayar ound.It ol
dherI '
m goodei t
herway.It hanked
herfortendingt omycutandsai dgoodni ght.I
wantedt othankXol iforherhelponceagai nbutshe
gaveameanl ook,wentintoNt ombi '
sroom and
shutthedoor .Mi kewalkedmeoutt omycar .At
l
eastsomeonecar edsomewhatbutNt ombi '
s
responsedidnotshockme.Iexpect edwor sebut
sheatleastal l
owedmet ositdownandt alk.I'
m
hopingtoseeat extmessagef rom hertonightor
tomorrowmor ning.Shemi ghtnotwantt oseeme
butI'
m sureshewant st oseet heboys.Shel oves
them,perhapsevenwaymor et hanIdo.Iwasnot
goingtoopenacaseofcel lphonet heftbecauseI
knowIwon' tf i
ndmyphoneandt hoseboysmi ght
notevenbef rom t heneighbor hood.I twasdar kand
Icoul dnotseet hem pr oper ly.It'l
lbeacol dcase.I
bookedi ntoaB&Bandset tl
edi n.Ivi deocal led
Mmaandsheal readywant edmet ocomehome.I
toldt hem theboysar etoomuchsomet i
mesbut
theyi nsistedwi ththem t heywi lltonedownt he
ener gymor e,nowl ookatt hem.Il aughedwhenshe
saidTal ockedhi msel finthest udyf orami nut eor
twot ogetsomet i
met orest .Theydot hattoa
per sonbutunf ortunatelyIcan' tgohi def r
om t hem.I
mi sst hem.Mmamanagedt ogett hem al ltost and
i
nf rontoft hephone' sscr een.Theywer eintrigued
byseei ngmeonascr een.Thescr eamst hatcame
from t hatphonesessi onwer ecr azy.Soont hey
cried.Iguesst heymi ssmet oo.It alkedt ot hem l i
ke
adul tsandmadeconver sat ionunt iltheycal med
down.Soont hefiveofuswer ehavi ngapr oper
conver sati
onbutIdonotunder standasi ngl ewor d
theysay.Somet hingel secaughtt heirattentionand
Mmasai dFur r
y,hercathadj ustwal kedin.t hey
crawl edaf terhimi nachase, poorcat .Isaid
goodni ghtandendedt hecal l
.Icheckedmyt ext
messageandt herewasnotasi ngl eonef r
om
Ntombi
.Iguesssheneededmor
eti
me.Tomor
row
i
sanotherday.

NTOMBI

Liyemai srudewhenheget sachancet obe.The

wayhet oldmenott otouchhi m wasuncal ledf or.I
wasnotgoi ngtot oucht hecut .Idon'tknowwhathe
want sf rom mebuthesai dit'stheboys.Mymi nd
wenti ntoovert hinkingcomi ngupwi thdif
fer ent
scenar iosinmyhead.Iknowt heonl ywayt oknow
whyhewant stoseemei sifIagreet oseehi m.I
havenotseenSososi ncet heweddi ng.Idon' tknow
i
fImi sshi m ortheat t
ent i
onhegaveme.He
stoppedcal li
ngmesoIguesshehasgi venupon
me.Xol itoldmet onotgoseeLi yemabecausehe
mi ghtupsetmet oapoi ntofanot herpani cat tack.
Shehadapoi ntbutifithassomet hingtodowi th
Bandi le,Bukhosi,Bubel eandBanel eIwantt ohear
whathehast osay.WhenIsawhi m sitt
inginout
ki
t chenIt houghtsomeonehadbr okenin.It hought
wewer egoingtodi e.Itendtobeabi tdramati
c.I
sentLiyemaat exttelli
nghimt hatwewi llmeetat
mypl aceat3pm.Imustadmi thim beingmugged
notsof arf
rom ourpl acemademeaf rai
dLiyemais
atallandwellbuil
tmansoi ftheseboyscoul dtake
him on,wearenot hing.Ihopehewentt othepoli
ce
toopenacaseoft heftandassaul t.Myphone
beeped.Itwasamessagef r
om Li yemat el
li
ngme
hewi l
lbeont i
me.

Waki ngupear l
ydur i
ngwi nterti
mei snof un.Just
put t
ingaf ootoutoft hecover sist ortureandme
sleepingi nshortsdidnothel pmuchwhenIhadt o
wakeup.If oundLi yemast arri
ngatmyl egs
yester day.I
'm surehesawmyst r etchmar ksont he
awkwar dplacesonmyt high.It'
sSat urdayandI
don'tr eal
lyhavepl ansfortheday.I '
vebeen
thinkingaboutSonwabi l
esi ncethi smor ning.Ithink
Imi sshi m.Istil
lhavenotf orgottenhowgoodofa
kisserhei s.Idecidedtocal lhim buti twentst r
aight
tovoi cemail.Idecidedtobebol dandgot othe
hospi talhewor ksatandifl uckwasonmysi deI'
d
fi
ndhi m.Igotdr essedwar mlyandmademywayt o
Greenacr esbyt axi.Imadeast opatmyf avour i
te
coff
eej oi ntatt hemal lfir
standgott wot akeaway
coff
ees.Ihopeheenj oysthecof feeasmuchasI
do.Sincewecoul dnotf ini
shourcof feesatZi m's
wedding, Ithoughtwecoul dthust ime.Iner vously
wenttot her ecept i
onar eaandt oldherwhoI 'm
l
ookingf or ,
shedi rectedmet ot hepaedi atri
csi deof
thehospi t al
.Theycal l
edhi mf ormeandhel ooked
sosur prisedt oseeme.Webot hwer enotsur eifwe
shouldhugornot .Itoldhimt hatI ’vecomewi th
coff
eeandt houghthewoul dt urnmeawaybut
i
nsteadhesmi led.HEaccept edt hecof feebutsai d
hisshiftwi l
lonlyendi nthir
tymi nutesbutaskedme
tostay.Iagr eedt ostay.Hewentbackt owor kandI
satdownsi ppingonmycof f
ee.30Mi nut esf eltli
ke
anhour .Hef i
nal lycameoutaf t
er45mi nut es
apologizingf orlet t
ingmewai t.WewentoutandI
suggest edwegoeatbutheaskedt ospeakt ome
pri
vately.Iknewhewant edtoaskwhyIr eact edthe
wayIdi dt hatni ght.Wesati nhi scari nstead.
Soso: “
Youweret
helastper
sonIexpect
edt
osee
today.Howhaveyoubeen?”hesmil
ed.

Ntombi
:“Goodthanksandyou?
”Ibr
ushedt
hesi
des
ofmyarmswithmyhands.

Soso:“Youcol d?
”hereachedforwardandputt he
heateron.Itwaswarm soonafter.“I
'm goodtoo.
Uhm. .
.It
hinkweneedt otal
kaboutt heelephantin
theroom fi
rst.Wewerehavingagr eattime,we
sharedagr eatki
ssandthenyouj ustdisappearon
me.Youhavenotbeent aki
ngmycal l
sandnowyou
arehere.I
'm happytoseeyoubutI '
ml ost,
”he
added.

Ntombi:“Iunderst
andandI '
m sorryaboutrunning
offl
ikethat.Iwasjustallovertheplacethatti
me.I
di
dnotexpectt hekiss.IknowIki ssedyouf i
rstbut
i
tsti
llcameasashock, ”Itr
iedtoexplainasbestas
possibl
e.
Soso:“Okay,
Ihearyou.Il
ikeyou,Nt
ombiandI
'
d
l
iketoseewherethi
stakesus,”hesai
dwhil
e
l
ookingahead.

Ntombi :“
Ifget
ti
ngtoknoweachot hermeansno
sexwoul dyoustil
lwantt
otry?”Iaskedi
mpulsi
vel
y.
Het urnedhisheadtol
ookatmeandIcoul dseehe
i
st akenabackbymyquest i
onbutIwant edhi
mto
knowwhathewoul dbegett
inghimselfi
nto.

Soso:“
Forthefi
rstf
ewmont hs?Liket
his90day
rul
eyougir
lshavegoingt
hing?”,
heaskedsoft
ly.

Ntombi:“
Imeannosexfortheent
ir
etimeofour
r
elat
ionshi
p.I
'
m cel
ibat
e,”hi
seyeswidened.

Soso:“
WhoahI..
.mmm..
.Idon'tknow.Honestl
ythat
wouldbeaprobl
em.NotthatIwanttobewi t
hyou
fort
hesex,
nobuttomesexi simportanti
na
rel
ati
onshi
p,”hest
utt
ered.Iwon'
tpret
endasi
fhi
s
answerwasnotaletdown.Ilookedoutt
hewi
ndow
andbackathim.

Ntombi:“
ThenIdon'
tthi
nki
twi
llbeagoodi
deaf
or
ustotr
ytogettoknoweachot
her,
”Isai
dwi
tha
for
cedsmi l
ed.

Soso:“I
'm sorry,
NtombibutIhadtobehonestwi
th
you.I'
dgocr azyifIcoul
dnottouchmywoman
sexual
ly,
”heexpl ai
nedhimsel
f.

Ntombo:“I
t'
sreall
yokay,SosoandIrespectt
hat
youarehonest.Notever
yonewemeetar emeantto
stayi
nourloves.,
”Ismil
ed.Hetookmyhandand
ki
ssedit
.

Soso:“Ihopet
hatyoumanagedt osortwhat
bother
edyouthatdayout.Abeautif
ull
adylikeyou
doesnotdeser
vetocry.Ireal
ly,
real
lyhopedthat
wecoul
dtakethi
sf urt
herandseewher
eitl
eadsbut
wewantdi
ffer
entthings,
”

Nt
ombi
:“Andt
hat
'sokay,
”Ihaveagenui
nesmi
le.

Iplantedasof tkissonhi slipsonel asttime.I

missedt hem act uall
y.Ther ei saspar kbet weenus
butIcan' tfor cehi mi ntoanosexr el
ationship.He
l
ookedmei nt heeyef orthel ongestt i
me, sucha
charmer .Ismi l
ed,openedt hedoorandst eppedout .
Ithasst artedt orain.Iwavedathi m andr anf or
cover.Ideci dedt ocat chamovi ewhi l
ewai ti
ngf or
theraint opass.Iboughtabi gbowlofpopcor n,
chocolat eandf i
zzydr ink.Iwasnothear tbroken
butdisappoi nted.Ienj oyedt hemovi ebecauseI
l
aughedl ikeamadper sonunt i
litended.Iwat ched
anotherwhent hef i
rstwasf i
ni shed.WhenIwal ked
outoft hemal ltherainwasf al l
inghar derthanwhen
Iwenti n.Icheckedt het ime, itis3:30pm.I '
ml ate
formymeet ingwi thLiyema.Ist eppedi ntoat axi
andwai t
edf or15mor emi nut esbef oreitgotfull
.
Thet axidroppedmeof fatmyst opandIhadt or un
home.Iputmyphonei nmybr ajustincaset hose
thugsr et
urned.Ifoundacari nthedr i
vewayand
Liyemawasi nsideit.Iwasanhourl ateforour
meet i
ngyethewai ted.Iinvitedhi minsideand
excusedmysel ftogetoutoft hewetcl othes.Iput
onmywar mestpaj amasandwi ntergownbef or
e
j
oi ninghim.Imadehi m coffee.Wehadt hecheap
stuf fandIwassur prisedhedr ankit.Wewer eal one
att hehouse.Iputt heheat eronj ustforextra
war mt h.Hewaspat ientwi t
hmef orachange.We
wal kedt othelounge.

Li
yema:“ Wouldyoupl easestopdoingt hat
?”I
l
ookedupathi m.Ikeptqui etwait
ingforhimt otel
l
mewhatIshoul dstopdoingwhenal lIwasdoi ng
waswal k.“
Imeandr aggi
ngyourfeetlikethat
.You
di
di tathomet oo.Whycan' tyoul
ifeyourfeetwhen
walkinginsl
ippers?”headded.Thener veofthis
man.
Ntombi:“Iwon'tst
opdoi ngitbecauseiti
s
comfortabl
e.Andi fi
tbotheredyousomuchback
thenwhydi dn'
tyousayanyt hing?”heshookhi
s
head.“
Iwi l
lnotstop”,Iaddedwhiledraggi
ngmy
feetwi
thintent
ionuntilIreachedachairandsat
down.

Li
yema:“
Sostubbor
n,”
,hemumbled.Hesatdown
besi
deme.Icoul
dnotwaitf
orhi
mt oleavemy
pl
ace.

Ntombi:“
Ar eyouhappywi
tht
hewayI
'
m si
tt
ing?
”,I
askedsarcasti
cal
ly.

Li
yema:“Asidef r
om t hebigbubbleyourpjis
makingi
nt hefrontI '
m happy,”Il
ookedatmy
paj
amapant s.Itindeedfor medanawkwar dbubble
makingi
tlooklikeI '
m wear i
ngadiaper.Iboughti
t
whenIwasst il
lpr egnantthat'
swhy.Icoveredit
wit
hmygownbef oregivinghim apush.Howdar e
he?Hesmi l
edandapol ogized.
Ntombi
:“Saywhatyouwantedtosoyoucangobe
nast
ytosomeoneelse,
”Isul
ked.

Liyema:“ I
'
m sorry.Okayheregoes.Aft
ergivi
ngit
somel ongt hought.If
inal
lydeci
dedthatit
'sbest
thatIgrantyouaccesst otheboys?”
,Itr
iedtohide
myexci tement.

Nt
ombi
:“Whynow?
”,Iasked.

Liyema:“ NowIknowt hatyouar enotj

ustsome
thug'sgi r
lf
ri
end.Mr sBam explainedwhyyoudidit
.
Howi fyouwer en'
tforced,youwouldnothavedone
i
t.Alsoi twascr uelofmet okeepyouawayf rom
theonl ychildr
enyouwi lleverhave,
”hesaid
sincerely.

Ntombi
:“I
twasver
ycr
uelofyout
odoso.Ihave
shownyoumanyti
meshowmuchIlovet
hem,
Li
yemabutyouar ej
ustsocol d.NowwhenI 've
fi
nallyaccept
edt hattheywi l
lneverbeinmyl i
feyou
waltzinandtellmet hatIcan.Howwi l
lIf
iti
nnow?
WillIbethatauntwhocomeswi thgift
sontheir
bi
rthday?”heturnedt ofaceme.If rownedeven
mor e.I
t'
smebei ngdr amatic.

Liyema:“That'
swhyI
'm here,Nt
ombi .Iwanttohear
fr
om youhowyouwoul dliketobeinvolved,
”Ibroke
eyecontact.HowdoIwantt obeinvolved?

Ntombi:“Youar
edoi
ngthi
snowbecauseyouknow
Iwon'tbeablet
oseet
hem onadai
lybasi
sdueto
school,
”Isai
d.

Liyema:“ Ohf orfuc..

.”hecuthi msel
fshor tand
l
ookedatme.“ Ntombi ,ifyouwanttof l
ytoCape
Townever ydayt oseet hem it
'sfi
ne.Idon'tcare.I
j
ustknowt hattherearemoment swhent heycr y
uncont r
ollably,andsomet i
mesnotI ,
myf ami lynor
theirnanniescancal mt hem downandi nt hose
moment sIwonderiftheyarenotmi ssingyou.They
knowyourtouchandscent .ForallIknowt hey
mightmissitevenaft
erallthesemont hs.They
can'
ttal
kbutitmakesmewonderi fyouwer et
here
wouldtheykeepquietoncet heyf
eltyouhol dt
hem,”
hesaidsoft
ly.Il
ookeddown.

Ntobmi:“
Doyouthinktheymissme?”
,hel
if
tedhis
shoul
dersup.“
Imissthem,”Isai
dinawhi
sper.

Li
yema:“
IknowandI
'
m sor
ry.
”hesai
dsof
tl
y.

Hel ookedupagai n.Hehadal ookoft endernessin

hiseyesandIcoul dseehemeantwhathesai d.I
don'tknowhowIwantt obei nvolvedtheirli
ves.I
alwaysf antasi
zedofbei ngaf ul
ltimemot hert
o
them butr eal
it
yisIcan't.Ihavetof ini
shschoolso
thatIcanhel pprovideforthem.Wi l
loccasional
visi
tsbeenough?Wi l
lLi
yemaal lowt hem tocallme
Mama?I 'vemissedoutonsomuchal ready.Li
yema
toldmewhatt heycandobynow.Heshowedmea
videowher ehewavedgoodbyet ot hem bef orehe
cameher e.Theyal lwaved.Wel lintheirown
i
mper f
ectway.Hedi dnothavephot osoft hem on
thecellphonehehadsi ncei tsforbusinessbutI
couldseef rom theonevi deoshowmucht heyhave
grown.Heaskedi fIwantt ogiveitago.I st hata
tri
ckquest i
on?Ofcour seIwant edt otryeveni fI
feelterr
ifi
ed.I'
m st il
langryathi mf ornotcomi ngto
hissensessooner .Her ai
sedhi sconcer nsabout
BongaandIt oldhi m Ihavenothadcont actwi th
him sincemovi ngf rom CapeTown.Hear ingt hat
seemedt oputhi smi ndateaseandIdon' tblame
him.Weagr eedt omegoi ngt oCapeTownnext
weekend.Ican' tovert heweekbecauseIhaveabi g
groupassi gnmentandwi llbeingr oupmeet i
ngsall
weekandI 'm gr
oupl eadersoIhavet oattend.He
offeredtopayf ormyt icketandIdi dnotr ejecthis
offerbecauseI '
mr atherbr okeatthemoment .I
don'tthinkeit
herofusknowhowt hiswillwor kbut
i
t'l
lcomet ousast imegoesby.Hesai dhe'st aking
af l
ightbacklatert onightbecausehehasan
i
mpor t
antmeet ingt henextday.Hesur prisingly
askedaboutSosobecausehesai dhewasnot
readyforboyf ri
endst obei ntroducedt otheboys.I
tol
dhi mt onotwor rybecauseIdon' thavea
boyfri
end.I fIdidnotknowbet t
erIwoul dhave
thoughtitwasal ookofr eliefandper hapsevena
smileIsawwhenIt oldhimI '
m singlebutIknow
better
.I'm surehei sdoingt hisbecauseapar tof
him pit
iesmebuti tsokay.I 'llseemyboysandt hat
i
sal lt
hatcount s.I'
llhavet oaskTat af orsome
moneyt obuyt hem somet hing.I'm surethey
alr
eadyhaveever ythingbutst il
l,Ican'tr
ockup
empt yhanded.Ican' twai tf orthenextweekend.
[
03/
28,
17:
08]Lynne:THI
RTYFI
VE

NTOMBI

It
'sonlybygr acethatImanagedt odeliverthe
presentati
ononeal i
eronbecausemymi ndi s
alreadyinCapeTown.Makhul uwast hef i
rstper
son
Itoldandshewaswor r
iedatfi
rstbutsoonbecame
j
ustasexci ted.Idi
dn'tt
ellMrsBI '
l
lbei nCape
Town.Idi dn'twanttohearhowbadl ythiscould
turnouti fIgoal onewi thoutl egaladvi ce.Iknowher ,
she'llwantt obet her ewhenLi yenai ntroducesme
totheki ds.Iappr eciateherbutIhavedeci dedt ogo
ont hisj our neyal one.Iwantt osoakupeach
momentIgett ospendwi ththem j ustincase
Liyemachangeshi smi nd.Hi m changi nghi smi nd
i
ssomet hingthatIf earwi l
lhappen.I '
vebeen
paintingment alpi cturesonhowI 'l
lbewhenIsee
them.I '
vebeent ryingt onotgett ooexci t
edbutI
fail
ed.I 'm excitedandever yonewhocar edt oask
knewwhyI '
m exci ted.Mostwer eshockedt ol earn
I'
m amom.Am Iamom?Whati samom?Does
givingbi rthqual i
fyawomant obeamom?What
aboutt hewomanwhogavebi rt
hbutdeci dedt o
abuset hei rchil
dr en, aret heymoms?Whatabout
thosewhonevergavebi r
thbutt ooki nanot her
woman' sbaby, aret hemoms?If eellil
ether eis
mor et obei ngamot hert hanj ustgi vinglifetot hem.
What everamot heri sdef inedas, Iwantt ofitthe
descr iptioni never ythingwaypossi ble.Ibought
them medi um si zedcar sf r
om t heR5Chi neseshop.
Tatacoul dnotsendmemoneyandIunder stood.
EachcarcostmeR15.Li yemaaskedt hatInotbuy
smal lsonesbecauset heyswal lowal mostever y
theycanf indlately.Ichoset hecol orr edforal lof
them.Idi dn'twantonet ocryovert heot herscar
becauset heyar eadi ff
erentcol or.Thecar swer e
thef i
rstthingsIpacked.Eveni fIf or getmycl othes,
Ididn'twantt ofor gettheirgifts.Xol iaccompani ed
met otheai rport.Whent hepl anel iftedof fthe
groundmyner veski ckedi nbecausei twasnot
goingt obeal ongf l
ight.Thef lightf eltlong.Itf el
t
asifIwasgoi ngt oanot herpl anetorsomet hing.I
arri
vedsaf el
yandf oundLi yemawai ti
ngf ormeas
hepr omi sedhewoul d.Hehasbeenki ndand
patient.I'
ver ealizedt hathewasnotapat ientman
andIt hinkIt estedhi spat ienceabi tt oomuchat
ti
mes.Af teranawkwar dgreeting, wedi dn'tspeak
much.Idi dn'twantt ospeakbecauseIwas
nervousm onewoul dswearI '
m goi ngt omeetf our
diff
icultmenr athert hanbabi es.Li yemaputonhi s
gospelandIwast hankfulbecauset hesi l
encewas
becomi ngawkwar d.Hei snowdr i
vi ngaseven
seaterSUV.Att hebackar efouri dent icalcarseat s.
Iwonderi feachbabysatont hesameseateach
ti
met heyt ookar i
de?Iwant edt oaskhi m but
thoughthemi ghtt hinki t'
sast upidquest i
on.If eel
badbecausehehadt opayf ormyf light.I'm sur e
theboysar enotcheapt orai se.Nextt imeI 'l
lsort
outmyownt icket.Wepul ledi nt ot hedr ivewayof
hishouse." Heyr elax, theirj ustbabi es",hesai d
befor egoi ngoutoft hecar .Hemusthavenot i
ced
howt erri
fiedIam.Ist eppedoutoft hecarand
foll
owedbehi ndhi m.Iaskedt ogetsomet hingf r
om
abagi nt heboot .Iopenedt hesui tcase, tookouy
thecar sandpl acedt hem i nmyhandbag.Hi shouse
hasnotchangedmuch.Ther ewer ewal lpl ug
blocker sinallwal lsocket s.Af ewt oysscat t
ered
hereandt her
e.Theyhavebeenwi t
ht heirnanni es.
Liyemaaskedi fhecoul dr elievet hem oft heirduty.
Whywoul dheaskme?Theyar ehi sst aff.Hewent
upst air
sandsoont wol adieswal keddown.They
greet edandwentoutt hedoor .Whyt wonanni es?
Isn'
ti talotofmoneyt ohi ret hem bot h?Li yema
calledmeupst air
sandmyhear tr atewoul dnot
slowdown.Hel edt hewayt owhatIassumei sthei
r
room.If oundawhi t
egat ebl ocki ngt hedooroft he
room.Iguessi t'
sf ort heirsaf etysi ncet heymove
aboutnow.Thef ir
stt hi ngt hatcaughtmyeyei sthe
bright ,playf ulcoloursont hewal l
.I'
m gl adhechose
colouri nst eadoft hebl andwhi tebabyr ooms.When
Ist eppedovert hegat eIsawf ourper fectpeopl e.I
can' tbel ievehowbi gt heyar e.Soont her oom was
fi
lledwi thscr eamsofexci tement .Theyal lcrawl ed
toLi yema' sf eetandgr abbedont ohisl egt ost and.
Liyemai ntroducedmeandhewasnotsur ei fhe
shoul dr efert omeasMommy, Aunt yorj ustNt ombi.
Theyal llookedatme.I 'm suret heywant edt o
checki ft heyf i
ndmyf acef ami li
ar.Istoodbyt he
doorf rozen.Whatshoul dIdonext ?Li yema
grabbedmyhandsoI '
dcomecl oser.Hesatdown
ont hebl uecoucht hatwasi nt hecor ner.It hought
theywoul dfol l
owhi m buti nsteadal ljustst aredat
me.Isatdownont hecouchsoI '
dbeont heirlevel.
It'
sanover whel mingmoment .Idreamtabouti tso
mucht hatIdi dn'tknowwhatt odoi nr eality.I
star tedwi thal owhibutnor esponse.It ookt he
car sf rom mybagandgavet hem eachone.They
l
ookedatt hecheappl asti
ccover edcar sandt hen
l
ookedatwhatt heot herhad.Bubel egavemehi s
car .Ithoughthei srejecti
ngi tbutLi yemasai dhe
want edmet ot akeitoutoft hewr apper .Idi dsoand
hesmi ledwhi leturningt hewheel swi thhisl ittl
e
fi
nger.Soont heot herthr eegavet heir
sf ormet o
open.Thecar sbr oket hei cebecausewepl ayed
withthem likecr azy.Theyal sogavemeaf ewof
thei
rtoysbutt ookt hem back, gavet hem agai nand
tookthem back.Doi ngsoseemedt oamuset hem
becauseIgotaf ewnaught yl aughswhent heyt ook
them back.Li yema:" I'
m goi ngt omaket hem some
foodforus.Wi llyoubef ineonyourown? ",heasked
andInodded.Hest oodf rom t hecouchmaki nghis
wayt ot hedoor .Banel enot icedandsoonf ol l
owed
hisfatherandsodi dther est .Liyemasai dhe' dbe
backsoonbutt heyst artedt ocr y.Theydi dn'twant
tobelef twithme.Whywoul dt hey?I 'm ast ranger .
Ntombi :"Youcant aket hem wi thyou.I 'l
lwai t,"Isaid
i
nasadwhi sper .Iwant edt ocr y.Liyema:" They
aren'
tcr yi
ngbecauset heydon' twantt obewi thyou,
Ntombi ,
"hesai dtot r
yt omakemef eelbet ter."Okay,
youdon' tbelieveme, I'
llpr ovei t.Pleasest andup, "
headded.Nt ombi :"Why? "Iasked.Li yema:" Iwant
toshowyousomet hing,"hesai dwhi letakingmy
handt ohelpmeup.WhenIwasonmyf eethesat
downont hemat .Theboyssatdownwi thhi m.He
toldmet opr etendt oleaveandwaveatt hem.Idi d
ast old.Soont heypul ledsadf acesandst artedt o
cry.Liyema:" Yousee?I tsnott hattheyhat eyour
company.Theyj usthaveFOMOf earofmi ssi ngout .
Theywantt ogowi ththeper sonwhoseemst obe
goingawaybecauset heyt hi nkyou' r
egoi ngf ora
rideinacar .Theyl ovecarr i
des, "hesaidwi tha
smi leandIl aughed.Nt ombi : "Ithoughtt heywer e
cryingf oryou? ", Isatbackdown.Bubel ethr ewhi s
shor tar msar oundmynextandIhel dont ohi mf or
dearl i
f e.Liyema:" Eveni ftheboogymanwast he
onewavi nggoodbyewhi l
ewal ki ngoutoft hedoor ,
theywoul dhavecr i
edf orhi m.Wehavef ourl i
ttl
e
boyswhodon' twantt obel ef tbehi nd.You' llhavet o
l
eavel at ewhent hey'r
easl eeppl easeorit'lltakeme
whi l
et omaket hem st opcr yingaf teryou'vel eft,
"he
pleaded." Iseeyou' vest art
edt ogetBubel e' s
af f
ections.Theyar eallaffect i
onat ebutmyboy
takesi tupanot ch.Hel ikeshugsandext raneck
ti
ckles, "hesai dwi thasmi le.Banel ecamet ome
andIt houghthewoul dhugmet oobutno, hebi tmy
l
ef tbreasti nst ead." Banele, no, youdon'tbi teot hers,
boy! "
,hesai di nast er
nvoi ce.Banel esulkedand
wassooni nmyar msaswel l.Kidsar ej ustamazi ng.
Ntombi :"It'
sokay.I twasn' tpai nful,"Iliedbecausei t
waspai nful.I
'm notevensur ehowmanyt eethare
i
nt hatmout hbutIf eltt heirpower .Liyema:" How
darehebi tethebr eastt hatf edhi m af terhewast he
onlyonehegott ogeti tsmi lk?"hej okedandwe
bothl aughed.Bandi l
el ookedatusandl aughedt he
l
oudest ."Wel li
t'sonlyf airIgi veyouabr ief
descriptionoft heirper sonal i
tiesatpr esent .Bubele
l
ikeI'vesai disagent leguy, hel ovesshar i
ngand
l
ovest obehel d.Likeyouseehi m cl i
ngi ngont oyou
ri
ghtnow, manyoft hosear et of ollow.Banel ei
sthe
quietoneandf i
ndsoddwayst ogetat t
ent i
onl i
ke
bit
ingasyou' vebeenavi ctim al ready.Hehat es
beingshout edatwi thpassi on.Bandi leoverher eis
theeasygoi ngguy.Hel ovest ol augh.Ther ewasa
ti
meIspi ll
edcof feeonmyshi rtbef orewor k.Guess
whol aughedt heloudest ?Thi sguy.Idon' tknowi f
heunder standswhathei sl aughi ngatbutIt hinkwe
haveaf uturecomedi an.Bukhosii stheguywho
l
ikeshi sspace.Li keyouseer i
ghtnow, he'skeeping
hisdistance.Hecomescl oseandcr iesonl ywhen
needed.Hi sMrSer i
ous, "hewhi sper edt hel astpart.
Nt ombi :"Thanksf orl ett
ingmeknowbutnextt ime
canyounotmakei tsoundasi fyou' reazookeeper
givingmeat ouroft heani mal s,"webot hl aughed.
Liyema:" HowwasIsupposedt odoi t?"Nt ombi :l
don' tknowbuti tfeltwei rdlisteni ngt oyou.I '
m sure
Banel edoesn' tbi t
eal lthet i
me, "hel aughed.Li yema:
"Checkt hoset hreescr atchesonhi sar m.Hebi ta
catandpai ddear l
yf orit.Youwoul dn' tsur viveaday
alonewi ththi sbunch, "heexhal edl oudl y.Nt ombi:
"Ar eyoust illgoingt omaket hem f ood? "Li yema:
"Foral lofus.Theyeatmeatnow, "hesai dpr oudly.I
pickedupBukhosiandBubel eandLi yemat ook
Banel eandBandi l
e.Li yemaf irsttookmyear ri
ngs
offandwewentdownst air
.Bukhosiwasi ndeed
"theser iouslone.Hei snoteasi lyimpr essed.I
guesshet akesi tf r
om hi sfather .Wef irstf edt hem
thoughmostoft hef oodl andedont hei rhighchai rs.
Itwasf un.Theycaneatt oo, alloft hem.Li yemal et
mebat ht hem.I twasmost lyt hem si ttingi nabat h
playingwi t
hwat erandgi vi
ngmeahar dt imewhenI
hadt otaket hem out .If i
nallygott hem i ntot heir
sleepingcl ot hes.I t
'snoteasyt odot his.Iguess
that '
swhyt heyhavet wonanni es.Theywar medup
tomeandIt ot hem.Iwi shIcoul dhol dt hem al lat
thesamet ime.Li yemacanandI 'veenvi ous.Awhi le
afterbat htimet heyf ellasleep.Iwasi nt heirr oom
justhover i
ngovert hepoorki ds.Li yema:" Ntombi ,"
hesai dsof tly."Sor r
yt odi sturb.Uhm. .
.shouldIbook
aB&Bf oryouorshoul dwecal lat axitodr opyouof
atMr sBam' s", headded.Nt ombi :"Ihavenott old
herI '
m her e.Idon' thavemoneyf oraB&Bei ther.
Letmecal lMr sBandaski fIcangoover ,
"It ookmy
phoneoutofmypocket .Liyema:" I
'vegotar oom
readyi fI'
m wantt ost ayoverandhavebr eakf ast
withust omor row, "heof f
ered.Nt ombi:" Idon'twant
tointrude, Liyema, "Ilookedatt hewal l.Liyema:" I
woul dn'thaveof feredi fthatwer ethecase.I '
m gl ad
youdi dn'ttellMr sBam.Idoubtyou' dbest andi ng
herei fyouhad.I '
m sur et heywi llli
kebr eakfastwi t
h
you,"hepoi ntedatt heboys.Nt ombi :"
Thi sist he
bestmomentt hisyear .Thankyou.You' vedonea
greatj obatr aisingt hem, "hesmi l
ed.Liyema:" Yeah
Iguess.I 'm sor ryagai n.Iknowyoucan' tbri
ngback
l
ostt imebutt heyar est i
llyoungsot herei splent y
oft i
meahead, "webot hsmi led.Nt ombi :"Whatam I
tothem, Li
yema?WhenIcal l them, shoul dIsay
comet omommy, toauntNt ombiorsi si?",Iasked
ner vousl y.Li yema:What everyou' r
ecomf or t
able
with, "hesmi l
edandwal kedaway.Ist i
llcoul dn'
t
fi
ndmysel ft ogetoutoft heirr oom.Theyar e
per fect.Theysmel lgood.If i
nal l
ywentt oj oin
Liyema.If oundhi mt hr owi ngpaperi nthef i
re.He
saidi twast heor iginalandcopyofouragr eement .I
don' tbel i
evehi m.Wi thoutt heagr eementIhave
equalr ightst ot hem.I '
m sur ehehasacopy
somewher ej ustincase.Idi dn'tcarebecausemy
hear ti sfulloft oomuchj oy.Iaccept edhi sof f
erof
sleepi ngover .MaybeIwaswr ongabouthi m.
Maybehei sn'tcoldaf teral lj usttoocaut ious.Idon' t
wantt ogobackt omor r owbutI '
m havet o.Li yema
doingt hisf ormeheal st hewoundl osingmywomb
l
ef tinmyhear t
.Ifor gavehi mf orwhathedi d.He
actual l
ydi dn'tdoanyt hingwr ong.Hesai df r
om the
begi nni ngt hathewant edt obeasi nglef ather.I'
m
theonewhomessedt hi ngsupbyget tingat tached.
Iwentt othei rroom onel astt i
mebef oregoi ngt o
bed.I tfeltlikeadr eam.Il ovet hem, Ialwayshave.
LiyemaandIdon' thavet heusualcopar ent i
ng
relationshi p.Hecannotevenst andt obei nt he
room wi thmealonef orl
ong,
infactheavoi dsitat
allcosts.Imisshowweusedt ojustchatabout
everythingbutthosedaysareover.I'
m notheref or
himt houghsoIdon' tmindnotbeingaroundhim as
l
ongasIgett oseemybabi es.Myf antast
icfour.
[
03/
28,
17:
08]Lynne:THI
RTYSI
X

NTOMBI

Itwasabusyni ghtf ormenotbecauset heboys

keptmeupbutbecauseIkeptongoi ngt otheir
room tocheckont hem whi l
ether eweresl eeping.
I'
m notobsessed.Ij ustwantt oenj oyever ymoment
withthem becauseImi ghtseet hem afteral ong
day.Thebedi nLi yema' sguest room iscomf or
tabl
e
andIwi shIcoul dgowi thittoPor tEli
zabet hand
replacemyuncomf or t
ablesinglebed.Igotwoken
upbyal oudcr y.Thesunhadal readycomeup.I
gotupf rom thebedt ocheckwhoi scrying.The
noisecamef rom t heki tchen.IfoundLi yemaand
Bubel ealone.Hi sfat herwast ryingtofeedhi m but
Bubel er ef
usedt oeat .Liyemal osthi spat ienceabi t
andIwasnotsur prised.Nt ombi :"Youdon' thavet o
shoutathi m.I '
m sur et herei sar easonwhyhei sn'
t
eating, "IlookedatLi yemawhowasnothappywi th
mycomment .Itookmyboyoutofhi schai rand
comf ortedhi m.Li yema:" Iwasnotshout ing.I 'm
tryi
ngt omakehi m eathi sbr eakfast .Hewant st o
startwi thhismi l
kf irstandt hat '
snothowwedoi t.
Bubel ei sj ustbei ngdi ffi
cult.Iregr etput tingt he
bottlesont hecount erbecausewhenhesawi the
woul dn' teat .Pleaseputhi m backsoIcant r
y
again, "hesai dwhi l
et ryingt ot aket hebabyf r
om
me.Nt ombi :"Lethi m cal m downf irst,Liyema.No
uset ryi ngagai nwhenhei sst i
llupset .Whathar m
coulddr i
nkingmi lkbef orefooddoanyway? "
,I
askedwhi ler ubbingmybaby' sback.Li yema:" I
t'
s
j
usthowwedot hings.I t
'sapar toft heirr out i
ne.He
won' twantt oeathi spor ridgeshoul dIgi vehi mt he
bottlef irstandmi lki snotf ood.Pl easesi thi m back
down, "heor deredNt ombi :"Putt hef ooddown, I'
ll
feedhi m mysel f.Ar et heot hersst illsleepi ng? "
Liyema:" I
t'
d9am, Nt ombi .Theygetupatabout
6:30am.Theyar ei nt heloungepl ayingandi fthis
onewasnotbei ngsodi ff
iculthe' dbet her etoo,"he
point edatBubel ewi t
haspoon.Nt ombi :"Gocheck
ont heot hers.I'l
lfeedhi m,"Il ookedathi shesi tant
face.Li yema:" Okay,"heputt heyel lowbowlont he
tableandwal kedout ."Nobot tl
e, Nt ombi ,
"hest ood
byt hedoorandwal kedaway.Ican' tbel i
evet hatI
l
ett hepoormanf eedandmakebot tlesfort hem all
alonewhi l
eIsl ept.Whydi dn'thewakemeup?If eel
sousel essnow.IputBubel edown.Idi dn'tknow
howt ot ri
ckhi mi ntoeat inghi sf ood.Whywoul d
Liyemanott r
eatthem l ikethei ndi vidual stheyar e.
Maybet heot herthr eelikeeat ingf irstanddowni t
withmi lklaterandBubel epr efer shi smi lkandt hen
foodl at
er .Icouldseet hathehat edt hatI
quest ionedhi sroutine.It r
iedal lki ndsoft ri
cksand
dancesbutmyboywoul dnotpar thi st eeth.I
pretendedt oeathi sfoodandmadei tseem l i
ket he
mostdel i
cioust hingI '
veevert ast ed.Atf i
rsthej ust
wat chedmewhi leIact edbutt henheopenedhi s
mout h.Iputt hepor ri
dgef il
ledspooni nhi smout h
andcont i
nuedt oactast houghIwaseat i
ngunt il
thebowlwasempt y.Hedeser vedar oundof
appl ausef orfini
shingsoIcheer edf orhim.He
smi ledandcl appedhi shandst oo.I twast hemost
perfectmomentofmyl i
fe.It ookhi m outoft he
chai raf t
erwi pi nghi smout handhands.Wej oined
theot hersi nthel ounge.Ther estcamecr awlingto
mewhent heysawmeandl iftedt heirarmsup.I t
fel
tgr eatt obewant ed.Ialmostst uckmyt ongue
outt oLi yemaj ustf orspitebutIdon' tknowhow
muchofmysi l
linesshecant ake.Wepl ayedand
wat chedcar t
oons.I '
m notsur eiftheyunder stood
whatt heywer ewat chingbutal lthreewer egl uedt o
thescr een.Li yemahadl eftusal onemostoft he
ti
me.Isi nglehandedl ygotal lf ouroft hem r eady
withgr eatst ruggl ebutfeltsuperpr oudofmysel f
afterwar ds.Wehadsnackt oo.Li yemaj oinedus
afterawhi lesayi ngi t
snapt i
me.Idi dn'twantt hem
tosl eepbutt heyhadt onap.Soonal lofthem wer e
asleep.Li yema:" Theywi llbedonef oranhourat
most .I'
llgochecki fIcanf indaphar macyt hatis
open.I '
m notf eelingsowel l
,"heshuthi seyes,
openedt hem andbl i
nkedaf ewt i
mes." I'
l
lbeback
befor et heywakeup.Wi llyoubef i
neonyourown? "
heasked.Nt ombi :"
What '
swr ong? "Iaskedand
stoodcl oset ohi m.Liyema:" I'l
lknowi naf ew
mi nut esbutIsuggestt hatyout aket heoppor tunit
y
tot akeashowernowwhi letheyar edown, "he
l
ookedatmef rom headt oe."Maybebr usht heteeth
too, "hel aughsof tlyandIact uall
ylaughedt oo.
Nt ombi :" You'remean, Liyema.Hasanyonet oldyou
that ?"Ismi l
ed.Li yema:" No, I'
m not .Ijustknowhow
onecanl oset r
ackoft imewhenl ooki ngaf terthem.
Iknowyoubr ushyourt eethf ir
stthingi nt he
mor ning, I'
vel i
vedwi t
hyour emember .Butt hose
fourcont roloverl i
vesnow.Wel comet ot heci rcus,
Mommy, "hesmi l
edandwal kedout .Hecal l
edme
Mommy.Inevert houghtI '
dhearhi m sayso.It ook
awhi ffofmybr eathandyeahIneededt ogo
freshenup.It ookt heoppor tunitytobat has
advi cedbyt hemanwhoknowst heboysbest .Af t
er
myshowerIwentt ogocheckont hem, theywer e
stillasleep.Iwentt opr epar et hei
rbot tlesbecause
Liyemasai di twast hef irstthingtheywantaf tera
nap.Ir eadt hei nst r
uct i
onsont hetincar efullyand
measur edasperi nstruct ed.Thedoorf lungopen
andLi yemaappear ed.Hel ookeduncomf ortable.He
seemsuncomf or tablewi thhei salonewi t
hme.I
apol ogizedf orbei nghal fnakedi nhi ski tchenand
wentupst airst ogetdr essed.I tseemst heboysar e
planni ngt ot akeal ongernapt hanonehour .If ound
Liyemawat chi ngspor t.Hest oodt ogot oanot her
room andIj ustcoul dn' ttakehi m avoi di ngme
anymor esoIwentt ogoaskhi m abouti t.Liyema:
"M...
meavoi di ngyou, "hepoi nt edhi sf ingeratme
andl aughedner vousl y.Nt ombi :"Okayi fI '
m wr ong
thenl et'sgosi tandwat chTV, "itseemsmywor ds
didn'tgowel lwi thhim.Li yema:" Cool ,
"hewal ked
passmegoi ngt ot hel ounge.Heputt hespor t
channelbackon.Isatnextt ohi m andheshi fted
awaysl ight ly.Imustr epul sehi m.Nt ombi :"Sowhat
didthedoct orsay? ",hedi dn'tbot hertol ookmyway.
Hiseyeswer egl uedont hescr een.Li yema:" Idi dn'
t
got oadoct or.Iwentt ot hephar macy.Theysayi t'
s
fl
uandgavememedi cinet otake.Thanksf or
asking, "hel ookedatmebr i
eflyandbackatt he
screen." Shoul dIbookanear l
yorl atef lightf oryou
fortomor row? "Nt ombi :"Al ateonepl ease, "Isai d
softl
y." Liyema, I
'm sor r yt hatyou' vehadt ospend
somuchmoneyt ogetmeher e.Nextt imeI '
llpayf or
mysel f ,Ipr omi se,"hel ookedatme.Li yema:" You' re
notbankr upt ingme, Nt ombisor elax,
"hel ookedat
me.Nt ombi :"Thankst hough.Soshoul dImakeyou
somet hi ngt oeatsoyoucant akeyourpi ll
sf ort he
manf l
u, "Iaskedandhel aughed.Li yema:" Manf l
u,"
hel aughedwhi leshaki nghi shead." Igotsomet hi
ng
ont heway.I 'm goodt hanks, "headded.Nt ombi :
"Okay,"Isai dinawhi sper .Bot hofuskeptqui etand
focusedont hescr een.Li yema:" Couldyouper haps
maket hatl ambst ewwi t
ht hemi nidumpl i
ngs
tonightf ordinnerpl ease.I '
dmaket hem butIhave
beencr avingyour s.Ifyoucannot ..
."Ntombi :" I
'l
l
makei t.Letmegot aket hemeatoutoft hef reezer,
"
Istoodbuthest oppedmesayi nghewi l
ldoi t
becauseI 'l
lgetmyhandscol d.Het ookt ool ongand
I'
m guessi nghej ustdoesn' twantt ocomebackt o
sitnextt ome.Hebl ewi nt ohi shandsandr ubbed
them toget herwhi lewal kingbackt othelounge.
Liyema:" Alldone.I 'm sur et heboyswi l
lenj oyt he
mealt oo.I 'm salivatingjustt hinkingabouti t,
"he
l
ickedhi slipsandIl aughed." Theyar etakingal ong
napt oday, "helookedupst airs.Nt ombi:"Ithought
you'dbehappy, "Il aughed.Li yema:" Iam, it
'sj ust
unusual ,
"heputhi sf eetont hetable."Howdi dyou
reactwhenyouf oundoutmyyouwer epr egnant
withfourbabi es,"heaskedunexpect edl y.Nt ombi :"
I
can'tremember .AllIknowi sIdi dn' tbel ievet he
doctor.Idon' twantt ogot hrought hatagai n.Wel lat
l
eastI '
m 100%sur eIwon't,"Ilaughedawkwar dly.
Liyema:" I'm sorryaboutyourwomb, Ntombi ",he
saidsof tl
ywhi lelookingatme.Nt ombi :"It'
sokay.I
mour nedt helossofmywombwaybef or eIeven
metyou, "mywor dsmademegethi sf ullat tenti
on.
Hewasl ooki ngatmet oexpl ainwhatImeant .
"Somet hinghappenedt hatt ornmywomb.The
doctorsbel i
evedI 'dnevercar ryababyt ot erm.I
wasshockedt oheart hatithadheal edwhenIwas
pregnant ,"Iplayedwi t
hmyf inger s.Li yema:" Does
thisthingt hathappenedt hatcausedyout ohur t
yourwombhaveanyt hi
ngt odowi thyourex? ",he
asked.Isomet imesf orgetMr sBt oldhi m about
Bonga." I'm gladt hatyoul efthi m, Nt ombi .Thi ngs
neverendwel lforwomeni nsuchsi tuat ions.Iwi sh
yout oldmeabouti twhenyouwer eher ebei ng
forcedt odosomet hingyoudon' twantt o,"hesai d
softl
y.Iwi pedmyt earsoffqui ckly.Nt ombi :"HadI
donet hat .Wewoul dn'
thavef ourpeopl et akinga
napupst airsrightnow.Thi smomentwoul dnot
havehappened.I '
m sorryf orcomi ngi nf al se
pretensesbutIdon' tregretit.I nfacti fther eisone
thingIt hankBongaf or,it
'sfor cingmet omeetyou
andbei ngyoursur rogate"Li yema:" Soi fyoucoul d
doi talloveragai n,wouldyou? "Inodded" Theylove
you.I '
m gl adyou' rehere.IknowIcanbeaj erk
somet imessot hanksf ornothat i
ngme, "hel ooked
atme.Nt ombi :"Let'
sputever ythingbehi ndus.
Ever ythingt hathashappenedcannotbeundone, "
Liyema:" Haveyoubeensi nglesi ncel eavi ngt hat
cowar d?",heaskedandInodded." Sowhat '
swith
theguyyouwer ewithatt heweddi ng? "hel ookedat
me.Nt ombi :"
Hewasmydat ef ortheday, "Liyema:
"Adat et hatt ouchyourbut t?"hesai d.I fIdi dnot
knowbet terI'
dhavesai dhei sjealousbutt hat'
snot
possi ble.Nt ombi :"
What 'sittoyou? ",Iaskedwi tha
smi l
e.Li yema:" Ther ewer eki dsatt hepar ty.The
l
eastgi raffecoul ddowashol dyourwai stwhi le
danci ng, notyourdamnbut t
,"Nt ombi :"It'
smybut t
andIdi dnotmi ndhi mt ouchi ngi t"Li yema:
"What ever .Ithinktheyawake, "best oodandr an
upst airs.Whydoeshecar ei fSosot ouchedmybut t.
Themomentwassoper fectandwewer emaki ng
progr essunt i
lheboughtt hatup.Howdar ehecal l
Sosoagi raffe.Hemi ghtbet allandski nnybuthei s
nogi raf f
e.Iscr eamedi ntot hecushi ontost opt he
soundf rom bei ngl oud.Li yemai sgoi ngtobet he
deat hofme.Hecamedownsayi ngtheboysar e
sti
llasl eep.Heapol ogi
zedandIdeci dedt oleti t
pass.Iaskedhi m abouthi sexwi feandwassadt o
heart hatshecheat edonhi m.Heget sundermy
skinbuthedi dn'tdeser vewhatshedi dtohi m.He
sayshehasgot t
enoveri tsinceseei ngat her apist
.I
believedhi m.Hi svoi ceandhi sf aceshowedhehad
madepeacewi t
hhowhi smar r
iageended.I '
m not
thereyet .Evenaf terallthet her apysessi onsI 've
had, Ist i
llcryandgetupsetwhent hi
nkingaboutt he
thi
ngsBongadi dt ome.IhopesomedayI '
llreach
thepeaceLi yemahas.Heal sot oldmeabouthi s
twinsi ster'saccidentandsai ditt ookhiml ongert o
getoveri t.Het ookoutapi ctureofher .Shewor ea
schooluni form andsmi l
edl ikeshewaspai dt odoit.
Shedi dn'tlookl i
keLi yema.Shel ookedmor elike
theirmom.Thegi rllookedf ami li
arbutt herei sno
wayIcoul dhavemether .Theboysf inall
ywokeup
aftervat wohournap.Imusthaveover didthe
playti
meear li
eronandexhaust edt hem t oomuch.
Liyemat ri
ednott ocoughont hem butcoul dnot
stopt hem f rom want inghisattention.LI YEMAI
don'tunder standhowsomemencanhi tt hewoman
theycl aimt ol ove.Nt ombii
sst il
lheal i
ngf rom t he
ordeal, hencei tst i
llmakeshercr ywhenshet alks
abouti t.Ihat eseei ngherhur t
.Ihat ethatshehas
l
ostt rusti nmen.She' stooyoungf orthebur dens
shehashadt ocar r
y.Ihopebei ngwi tht heboyswi ll
bringsomeheal ingt oher.Meont heot herhand
havemadepeacewi thmypast .Somuchsot hatI'd
l
iket ogi veloveanot herchancebutt hewomanI '
m
i
nl ovewi thisnoti nlovewi thme.Seei ngheri njust
at owelar ousedme.Shei sabeaut if
ulwomam wi th
agr eatbody.AbodyIwi shIcoul dcar ess.
Snappi ngear li
eronbecauseofherf riendt ouchi ng
herbut tcameasashockt omet oo.Hehopeshe
didnotr eali
zei t'
sbecauseI 'mjealous.Iwant edt o
touchherbut t.Iwant edtoloveandt ouchal lofher .
Igaveherspacet obewi ththeki dsal onet his
mor ning.Thel it
tler ascalsbehavedwel lwi ththei r
mot herbutwi t
hmet heybecomel itt
lemonst ers.
Thedudesdi dn'tevencr ywhenIl eftthem al onei n
thel ounge.It hi
nkt hinkt heyhavef oundanew
favour it
eper sonandyoudon' tblamet hem.I tf eel
s
stranget osay" theirmot her"butI '
l
lgetusedt oi t
becauset hat '
swhatNt ombii st othem.Iwokeup
withabl ockednose, headacheandj ustf eeling
crappy.Ihopet hemedi cat i
onwi l
lhelp.It oldt he
doct oratt hechemi stthatI '
m HI Vposi ti
vej usti n
caset herei sdi fferentf lumedi cati
onf orus.He
advi sedt hatIseeadoct orshoul dthesympt oms
notbebet tert omor rowandI '
m plant o.Idon' twant
myvi ralloadt odr op.Thesi xofuswer epl ayi ng
nicely.Theyl ovet hecar sshegott hem.Shekeeps
goingonabouthowcheapt heywer ebutt heydon' t
care.I t'
st heirf avor it
et oysatt hemoment .Asof t
knockdi stur bedourpl ayt i
me.Iwentt oopenand
Mmast oodsmi li
ngi nf rontofme.It oldheri twas
notagoodt imebecauseI '
m si ck.Shet ol
dmet hat
she'sher ef orherf ourbal l
sofever ythingcut eand
wal kedpassmet ot hel oungewher et henoi se
camef r
om.Mma:" Nt ombi ?
",shesai di nhetsof t
voiceandt ur nedt ol ookatmewi thasmi le.Nt ombi
stoodt ogr eether .Theyshar edal onghug.Mma
checkedNt ombif rom headt otoeandsmi ledmor e.
"LiyemahaveyouseenNt ombi ?"sheasked.Li yema:
"Whatki ndofaquest ioni st hat?Shei sst anding
rightt her e.Ofcour seI '
veseenher ,
"Isai dwhi l
e
l
ooki ngather .Mma:" Imeanhaveyouseen, seen
her ?Li kehaveyouseenhowsexyshel ooks.Look
atyou, yousexyMama, "shesai dinast rangevoi ce.
Nt ombi :"Thanks, Ma,"shebl ushed.Li yema:" I'
m
goi ngt ot akeanap.Andsi nceyousai dyou' reher e
fort hosef our ,I
'm sureyouwon' tmind,"Isai dand
kissedhercheek.Mma:" Getwel lsoon, myboy.I 'l
l
cooksomesoupf oryou, "sheputherhandonmy
for ehead.Li yema:" No, no, noNt ombiwi l
lmakeus
herst ew.I 'vebeencr avingi tsi nceshel eftthepl ace.
I'
m noteat i
nganyt hingel set onight,
"Isaidi n
pr otestandbot hwomenl aughed.Mma:" Mmm
okay, "shesai dwi t
hint hatst rangevoi ceagai n.I
wentupst air
sandl eftthem.Mybodyneededt orest .
Thi sf l
uwi llbet heendofme.Ihat ethatMmaput
meont hespotl ikethat .Ofcour seIseehowsexy
Nt ombii s, I
'm notbl i
nd.That '
swhyImakesur eI
don' thoverar oundherf ort oomuch.Iseet hesexy
Mama.Iwantt okisst hesexyMamaandIwantt o
domuch, muchmor ewi t
ht hesexyMama.Thati s
whyi t'
ssaf eformet obeawayf r om t hesexyMama.
IfellasleepassoonasIgotonmybed.Thepi l
ls
mustbest rong.Igotupaf teranhourandwal kedto
theki t
chent ogetwat er .Ntombi 'sst ewwasal ready
simmer i
ngandherdoughi srisingwel ltoo.Ihave
notevenhadl unchyetbutI '
m al readydr eami ng
aboutdi nner .Mmasatandhadcof feewi thNtombi .
Theboywer ehavi ngt heirafternoonnap.Ihopei t
won' tbel ongbecauset heywon' twantt osleepon
theirusualbedt ime.Thel adieswer echat tingli
ke
oldf r
iends.Ther ewasasoundcomi ngf rom the
babymoni torinthel ounge.Nt ombidi dnotwast e
anyt ime, shest oodupandr anupst airs.Shef ell
halfwayandIj umpedt hecouchl i
keasuper mant o
gochecki fsheisokay.Shei srubbi ngherkneesoI
guessi tgothur t
.Ir ushedupt hef ewst epst ogetto
her.Shehadherdr essupt ohert high.Iputmy
handsonherknee, rubbi ngitgent ly.Liyema:" Does
i
thur tal ot? "
,Iaskedandl ookedather .Damnshe
i
sbeaut if
ul .Herlipsar ef ullandIcanonl yimagine
howsof ttheyar e.Shesmel l
edgoodt oo, not
perfumebutsoapy.Shewaswavi ngherhandi n
frontofmyf aceandIsnappedoutofmyt houghts.
I'
vebeenst arri
ngatherwi thanopenmout hforwho
knowshowl ong.Nt ombi :"I
'mf i
ner eal l
y.Letmego
checki ft
heyar eawake.Wemadesandwi chesf or
l
unchsohel pyour sel f
,"shesai dwhi lelower ingher
dresstocoverhert high.Shest oodandwal kedup.I
foundMmaatt hebot tom oft hest ai rslaughi ng.
Mma:" It'
salmostpai nf ultowat chyouactl ikethis.
I'
m shockedyoudi dn' tdr oolonherl eg,"she
l
aughedl ouder.Liyema:Idon' tknowwhatyou' r
e
tal
kingabout ,
"Iwal kedpastherheadi ngt othe
kit
chen.Shef ollowedbehi ndme.Mma:" You'rein
l
ovewi thher,"shewhi sper edi nmyear .Liyema:
"Don'tyouhaveaspadat ewi thaf r i
endoranai l
day?",Iasked.Mma:" I'
m notl eavi ng, notaf teryou
madei tclearyou'llhavenot hi
ngel sebutNt ombi '
s
food.Iwantt hattoo, "shel ookedatme" Tellher
howyouf eel
.Yout woal r
eadyhaveki ds.I'
m sogl ad
youal l
owedhert ovi sit.Shei sal ovel ygi rl
,"she
added.Liyema:" Idon' thavef eel i
ngsf orNt ombi
andshedef i
nit
elydoesnothaveanyf orme.My
mainf ocusistheboys, notdating,"Il ied.Iwant ed
todateher .Mma:" Keepl yingtoyour selfbutI '
m
knowyou.Youar einl oveandi tfeel sgoodt osee
youl iket his.Youhavemybl essi ng.Thet woofyou
canr ai set heboyst ogether "Li yema:" Wecan' t.
Nt ombii sast udenti nPE, "Imadeexcuses.Mma:
"Anduni versi
tiesdon' tdot ranf er s?Icanhaveyour
dadcal lar oundandshecanbei noneo. .."Liyema:
"Mmano, Idon' twantt hatandshedoesn' teit
her.
She' l
lvi sitwhenshecan, "Nt ombij oi
nedussayi ng
theboyshavenotwokenupyet .Mma:" Ntombi ,you
needt oconsi dertransferingt ooneoft he
Uni versitiesher e.Thatwayyoucanvi si
tever yday.
Youcanl i
veatast udenthouseorper hapsLi yema
mi ghtbeki ndenought oof feryouar oom, "she
wi nkedatme.If el
tlikedyi ng.Nt ombi:"I'
llsee,Ma.
Nt ombicont i
nuedt obusyher sel fwit
hhercooki ng.
Iwant edMmat ogohomeal ready.Theboysgotup.
Mmakeptonsayi ngt hi
ngsl ike" wouldn'titbeni ce
tohavemommyar ound, heygr anny'sbubbl es"at
them.Ihadt oexcusemysel fbecauseI '
m coul dnot
standhowawkwar dshemadet hingsbet ween
Nt ombiandI .Thedaywasgoodnont hel ess.We
played, theboyscr i
edandpl ayedonceagai n.The
foodIhadbeenl ookingf oral ldaywasf inall
yin
frontofme.Ohi tt
ast edbet tert hant hel astt i
meI
hadi tsomuchbet terIhadseconds.Mmaaskedf or
recipeandNt ombisai dshedoesnotuse
measur emt sbecausesheknewj ustt hequant it
ies
ofspi cestoadd.Shewoul dn'tlett heboyshave
somebecauseshesai ditwast oospi cy.Theboys
wer ebat hedandwentt obedf ort heni ght.Noteven
thef l
ucoul dkeepmef rom havi ngagoodt ime.I'm
sur pri
sedIt astedt hef ood.I'
m sur et hepi ll
swer e
helping.Mmawenthomeaf t
erweputt heboyst o
bed.Wewer eexhaust edsowecal ledi tani ghttoo.
Itookanext rapi lloft hef l
umedi cat ionsoI 'dheal
quickerandwentt obed.Iwasasl eepwhenIf elt
war ml i
psonmi ne.It ur nedtol ayonmybackand
Ntombiwassmi lingatmewhenIopenedmyeyes.I
l
iftedmyheadt oki ssherandshewassoonont op
ofme.Theki ssbecamepassi onat eandIwant edt o
ri
phercl othesof f.If i
rsthadt ochecki fshewas
sur eaboutt his.Thewaysheki ssedandpr oceeded
tot ouchmyent i
rebodyt oldmeshewant editas
mucgasIdi d.Ihel dhert ightandt ur nedt obeon
top.Bot hofushungr yf oreachot her .Wer i
pped
eachot her'
scl othesof fandwer esoonnaked.The
feelofherski nagai nstmi ne.Herbr eastagai nstmy
chestmademewantt obei nsideofherbutI
decidedt otakemyt i
me.Il ookedatherbodyt aking
i
nal lofher .Ourl i
psmetonceagai n.Iki ssedher
l
ips,herneckandhersof tbr easts.Iki ssedand
l
ovedeachandever ysi nglepar tofherbody.I
grabbedacondom andputi tone.Iki ssedherwhi l
e
goingi nsideofhersl owl y.Thet ightnessand
warmt hofherf olddr ovemei nsane.Idi dn'twant
themomentt oend.Hermoansandt hewayshe
woul dsaymynamear ousedmeevenmor e.We
bothr eachedcl imaxatt hesamet i
me, t
hathas
neverhappenedt omebef ore.Il ookedatherwhi le
webot ht r
iedt ocat chourbr eat hs.Thel ookinher
eyeswasami xt ureofl oveandl ust.Ikissedher
andhel dhersot ight.Notawor dwasspoken.We
bothj ustwentt osl eep.Iwokeupandl ookednext
tome.Nt ombihadabl anketwr appedar oundher
bodybutherar msendshoul derswer ebar e.I
thoughtaboutwhathappenedl astni ghtandsmi led.
Mypyj amaswer eont hecouch.Igotupf rom the
bedf eelingt i
red.If oundadampt owelont hefl
oor .
I'
m sur esheusedi ttocl eanher self.Ilookedf orthe
condom onmysi deoft hef loorbutcoul dn'tfi
ndit.I
checkedt heent i
r efl
oorbutst il
lnot hing.Iwentt o
l
ooki nt hebi nbutt her ewasnot hing.Iwokeupwi t
h
myboxer sonsoIcheckedi fIstil
lhadi tonbutI
didn'
t .Myhear tst artedt oracel i
kecr azy.Iuseda
condom sowhycan' tIf indi t?HadNt ombit hr owni t
awayshewoul dhaveputi tint hebi ni nmyr oom.
Didshef l
ushi t
?Thewentt ohersi deoft hebedand
kneltbesi deher .Ishookhergent lyt owakeherup.
Sheopenedhereyesaf t
erawhi l
e.Nt ombi :"
What ?,
"
sheaskedsoundi ngsl eepyandannoyed.Li yema:
"Whatdi dyoudowi t
ht hecondom, Ntombi ?"she
l
ookedconf used." Afterlastni ght,di dyouf l
ushi t?"
,
Iaskedwi thur gency.Nt ombi :"What ?Acondom?I
didn'
tt hrowacondom away, "shesai dst il
lsleepy.I
madel ovetoherwi t
houtacondom?Li yema:" Get
upnow! "Iwentt omywar drobet ogetat racksui tto
wear .Ntombi :"Idon' tgetit, Liyema.What '
sgoi ng
on?Whyar eyouaski ngmeaboutacondom? ",she
satup.Li yema:" Ihavet otakeyout ot hehospi t
al.
Theyhavepi ll
st opr eventt hi s.Dammi thowt hev
fuckcoul dIhavebeensost upid,"Iwor emypant s.
"Getupandgetdr essed, Nt ombi .Ican' tbel i
eveI
wassor eckl ess, "Iwasangr yatmysel f.Nt ombi :
"Liyema, you'rescar ingme.What '
sgoi ngon? "she
l
ookedatmewi thtear sinhereyes.Li yema:
"W. ..
w...wehadunpr otectedsex.Idon' tremember
whatIdi dwi t
ht hecondom andyousayyoudi dn' t
getr idofi t.Soi tmeanswedi dn'tuseone, "Isai din
pani c.Shewasst il
linbedl ooki ngatmel i
keI '
ma
madman.Idon' twannagi veherHI V.Dammi tI
won' tbeabl etol ivewi thherhat i
ngmebecause
thati swhatwi llhappeni fIi nfecther .Butshecan
stil
ltaket reat
mentt opr eventi t.Ntombi :"Yout hink
we. ..
Liyemawedi dnothavesex.LookI '
m st il
lf ull
y
dressed, "shepul ledt hebl anketasi det or eveal her
straplessdr ess.Shehadi tonyest erdaybutwi tha
jacketover .Ithoughtshewasnakedal lthist i
me." I
hear dyoumakewei rdnoi sesl astni ghtsoIcamet o
checkonyou.Youwer ebur ni ngupsoIhel pedyou
outofyourpyj amas.Iwentt owetat owelwi thcol d
wat ertocoolyoudown.Yourt emper aturewent
downaf t
eranhourbutIdeci dedt osl eepnextt o
youj usti ncase.Iwasgoi ngt ogetupdur ingt he
nightbutmusthaveover slept .Wedi dnothavesex,
Ipr omi se.You' rehal fnakedbecauseIt houghti t
woul dhel p.I'
m sor ry,"sheexpl ained.Iwal kedt ot he
edgeoft hebedandsatdown.Ther eli
efIf el twas
i
ndescr i
babl e.Li yema:" It'
sokay.I '
m sor ryf ort he
wayIr eact ed.It houghtwedi dit,"Ilookedather
andshesmi led.Nt ombi :"It'
sokay.I 'm sur eyou
thoughtIwasnakedwi tht hisdr essnothavi ng
strapsandt hewayIcover edmysel fwi tht he
blanketandt henIt ookyourcl othesof f.I'dhave
thoughtt hewor sttoo, "shel aughedsof t
ly." Sowhy
woul dwegot ot hehospi t
al ?Whatdi dweneedt o
prevent ?"Ilookedather .Li yema:" Uhm. ..
pr egnancy.
Iwant edt ogetyoumor ningaf terpills.Nt ombican' t
beaf at heragai nsosoon, "Il ied.Nt ombi :"Nowomb
remember ?"shej okedabouthersi t
uat i
onand
l
aughed.Ipr etendedt ol augh.Li yema:" Sli
ppedmy
mi nd, sor r
y.Thanksf orhel pingmet akemy
temper aturedown, "webot hsmi led.Shest oodand
excusedher sel f.Ifel tli
ket hebi ggesrf oolever .I
hallucinat edt heent iret hing.Ineverki ssednor
madel ovet oher .Itwasal linmymi ndandshe
blamet hosebl oodypi l
lsfori t.Iwentt ot he
bat hroom t owetmyf ace.Howwi l
lIlookather
agai naf t
erthi s?Atl eastImanagedt ogi veheran
excuseast owhyIwant edt ot akehert ot he
hospital
.I'
mt hefooloftheyearandI 'm sure
Ntombiwi l
llaughwithherfriendsabouti t
.Whenwe
hadbr eakf
astshewasnor malandt oldmet of or
get
aboutitbecausesheknewi twast hepil
lsthatdid
thatbecauseItookonet oomany.Wesoonj oked
aboutitandshemademef eelbet t
er.HowIwi sh
wer eall
ymadel ove,wit
hpr otect
ionofcour sebutit
seemsshe' snotintomei nar omant i
cway.
[
03/
28,
17:
12]Lynne:THI
RTYSEVEN

Nt
ombi

I'
vebeenbackinPor tEli
zabethf
orawhi lenow.
Liyemaoffer
edtof l
ymeovert oCapeTownagai n
andIhadtodecline.Iwantedtosayyessobadl y
butIcan'
texpecthimt opayformytravelsalmost
everyweekend.Idon'twanttogetajobnowei t
her
becauseI'
dhavet owor konweekend.Ijustwantto
upandgoeachweekendIhavemoneyt odoso.
Varsit
yhasbeenhect icandmymi ndbeinginCape
Townmostoft hetimedi dnotmakeitanyeasier.I
mi ssmychi ldren.Imi sst hei
rhugsandevent he
naught yt antrumst heyoccasi onal l
yt hrow.Ihave
beenvi deocal l
ingthem al mostever ynightIdon' t
wantt hem t of orgetmyf aceandvoi ce.Theygetso
excitedwhent heyseemyf aceappearont heir
father'
st ablet.Itmakesmewantt ohugt hem
throught hescr een.I'
m happyandIcan' tbel i
eve
thataf t
erever ythingI'vegonet hr oughI '
mf inall
y
ablet osayI 'm happyandmeani t.Myl i
fef eels
compl etewi tht hem init.Tomor rowi twi llbet heir
fi
rstbirthdaybutIunf ortunatelywon' tbeabl etogo
toCapeTownbecauseofschool .I'vebeensavi ng
somemoneysoIshoul dbeabl et oaf fordat i
cket
forthecomi ngweekend, thecheapestoneIcan
fi
nd.Ihavebeenl i
vingonnoodl esj usttobeabl eto
affordit.Itwasacol dMondayni ghtandImi ssed
Liyema' sf i
replacebecauseourt hreebarheat erwas
j
ustt ooweak.Xol iwalkedi ntotheki tchenwhi leI'm
maki ngnot eswhi l
esippi ngonahotcupofcof fee.
Shewentt othef ri
dget ogetsomet hingt oeatI
assume.
Xol
i:“Wehaveacakeinthefr
idge?I'
vebeen
cr
avingasweettr
eatsi
nceyesterday,
”shesaid
whil
etaki
ngthechocol
atecakeoutofthefr
idge.

Ntombi:“No,fr
iend.I
'm sorr
ybutyoucan' teati
t
now.Wecanonl ycutittomorrowont he
quadrupl
etsbirt
hday.Ican'tbewiththem infl
esh
butIcancelebratewit
ht hem,”sheputthecake
backwithdisappoint
ment .“
I'
m sorry,
”Istoodand
wenttohugher .Shesulkedmor eandIlaughed.

Xoli
:“Soyouwi
llmi
sst
heirbi
gday? ”shesaidwhil
e
taki
ngacuptomakeher
selfcof
fee.“Wellt
hatsuck”,
sheadded.

Ntombi:“It
hinkLiyemawillonl
yhaveabigpar
tyf
or
t
hem onSat urday.Ihavemoneysavedtoget
myselfther
e,”Isatbackdowntolookatmy
t
extbook.
Xoli
:“It
houghtyousaidheofferedafewweekends
agotoflyyouover
,”Inodded.“Thenwhydi
dyou
notgo.Beingt
hereclear
lymakesyouhappy,”she
added.

Ntombi:“Idon'
tli
kehim spendi
ngmoneyonme.I
alr
eadyfeelguil
tyfornotbei
ngabletohel
phim
withsomeoft hebabyexpenses,”shel
ookedatme
l
ikeI'
mt hedumbestper sonali
ve.

Xoli
:“Hedoesnotmi nd.Infactheshoul dgiveyoua
babymamaal lowance.Youar et heonebabymama
Icansaydeser vesuchaf tercarryingfourbabies
andlosingyourwombi nthepr ocess.Youdeser ve
abell
sandababymamaal l
owance, “weboth
l
aughed.“ Butseriouslythoughi fitwascr i
ppli
nghis
budgethewoul dnothaveof f
ered.Nextt i
meaccept
hishelp,missindependent .Youar eabrokestudent
sogetof fyourhighhor se,”sheor dered.

Nt
ombi
:“Mor
eli
keaconsi
der
atehor
se.I
'
llt
ry
t
houghbutnott
hebabymamaal
lowance,
”she
l
aughed.

Xoli:“
Couldther
ebesomet hi
ngbrewingbet
ween
mommyanddaddy.Hemi ghtnotreal
lybemy
favori
tepersonasofyetbutheishot,
”shesai
dina
fl
irt
ati
ousvoice.

Ntombi:“Nothinggoingont
here.Icaref
orhi
m and
respecthim butno,I
'
m noti
nlovewi t
hhim,
”Isai
d
honestly.

Xoli
:“Sonohotst eamykiss,evenifi
twasi na
momentofj ustbeinghornyfrom youtwo? ”
,she
askedandIshookmyhead.“ Ohmywor d,
youneed
morehelpthenIthought.Youl etadi
shpassyouby
whenyouhavenoteat eni nyears,
”Ilaughedso
much.

Nt
ombi
:“Somet
hingki
ndadi
dhappenbutnot
real
ly,
”Isai
dmaki ngnosenseatal l.Shejust
l
ookedatme.“ Hewassi ckandIwentt ohelpand
endedupsleepingnexttohi m,notwithhim butnext
tohim.Hegotupandt hought..
.hethoughtwehad
sextheprevi
ousni ght
,”Iblushed.

Xol
i:“
Doyouwantt
o?”
,shel
ookedi
ntomyeyes.

Ntombi:“NoIdon't.ButIhavetoconfess.WhenI
tookhispajamasof fandInoti
cedtherewasa
bulgeinhisboxersIkinda,j
ustki
ndaf el
tsome
partsofmer eact
,”shelaughedsomuch.

Xoli:“
Soguyhadahar d-
onandhethoughtyouhad
sex.Coulditbethathehadawetdream wit
hyou
beinghislover
,”It
hrewthepen'
sli
datherandwe
bothlaughed.

Nt
ombi:“
Grossman,noI'
m sur
eitwasareact
ion
hi
sbodyhadwhil
ebeingsi
ck.Dogrownmenst i
ll
havethose.
..
wetdr
eamsImean?
”Ibl
ushedandshe
keptl
aughing.

Xoli
:“Somedoandhedi d.Soyouf eelnothi
ngfor
thi
sman?Leavet hecar
e,respectandr eact
ionyour
bodyhadwhenyousawhi m hal
fnaked, Imeanlike
feel
ing,
”sheasked.

Ntombi :“
Ireal
lyhavenonoft
hose,f
ri
end.You
knowI '
dhavet ol
dyouorshownsignshadIhad
feel
ingsforhim,”shel
ookedatmebutdidnotseem
convinced.

Xoli
:“SoifImakeamoveonhi m,you'dbeokay
withit
?”sheaskedbutIkeptqui
et.“Seeifyoudi
d
notfeelanyt
hingyouwouldnothavet othi
nkabout
theanswerfir
st,
”shepoi
ntedherfingeratme.

Nt
ombi:“
NoIdon'
thavefeel
ingsf
orhim.Itj
ust
woul
dbeaweir
dsit
uati
onyoudatinghim whi
lehe
haskidswi
thme.Idon'
tthi
nkourfr
iendshi
pwoul
d
bethesame,
”Isai
dwhilewrit
ingmynotes.

Xoli
:“OkayIbel
ieveyouandyoudon' thavetowor
ry
Idon'
twanthim.Ilikemymenwhi t
enowaf t
erwhat
Nana'sdaddidtome.Whi temenarebet t
erwheni
t
comest otr
eati
ngal adyr
ight
,”shesaid.

Ntombi:“Idon'
thaveanydesiretodateawhi t
eman.
Ili
keourchocolat
ebrothersandnotallar
ebad.
Therearewhitemenwhoar ejer
kstoo.I
t'
sabout
themannott heenti
rerace,“Isai
dwhilelooki
ngat
her.

Xoliisnotthefir
stpersonIheardsaywhi temenar e
better.Whatmakest hem anybett
erthenBl ack,
Indi
anandcol oredmen?Ir espectthatshepr ef
ers
them butIdon'tthi
nkitisri
ghttobashbl ackmen
j
ustbecauseshehadabadexper iencewi t
hone.I
guessI '
m notreall
yonet otal
kbecauseIt hi
nkall
menar eabusersbecauseonemant reat
edmel i
ke
trash.Bot hXol iandIhadsomei ssuest odealwi t
h
i
nourdat i
ngl i
ves.Iwasbei ngt ruthfulwhenIsai dI
don'thavef eeli
ngsf orLi yema.Hei sahandsome
man, goodnessi shehandsomeandI 'm gl admy
boysgotsomeofhi sgenesbutIdon' tthi
nkwewi l
l
beabl et omakear elationshipwor k.Thesmal lest
thingsIdoannoyhi m.Het hinksI '
m“ toopl ayful”.
Heneedssomeoneasser i
ousashei s.Il ett he
boysgetawaywi thal otandhei sst rict.I
've
messeduphi srout ineaf ewt i
mesandhehat edit.
Wewoul dfrustrateeachot hert oomuch, wel lI
woul dannoyhi mt oomuchnowondert hepoor
manwal ksawaywhenIcomei nt oar oom.Mi ke
camehomef rom hi sgi r l
fri
end'spl aceatr ez.He
alsoeyedmyboysbi rthdaycakeandIhadt opol i
ce
thef r
idgeever yhourj ustt ochecki fther ewasno
piecemi ssing.IsentDuduat extinvitinghert o
comeenoycakewi thus.I ftheyagr eewecanvi deo
callandsi ngt ot hem.Iknowt heywi lllovei t.They
l
ovephonesbutt heirdaddoesnotgi vehi s.
“Ntombi , t
heywi llbr eakyourphone’ sscr eenwhen
youl etthem pl ayasi fit'sat oy.Don' tcomecr ying
tome” ,MrsEl ephantwoul dsaywhenIl ett hem
havemyphone.Heneedst or el
ax.Idon' towna
phonet hatcost sR16000andneedsi nsur ancel ike
his.Igotmi nef orR1500onl y.Liyemaneedst ojust
l
etgoandl etlive.I '
vebeent hinkingaboutwhatMr s
Esai daboutgoi ngt ostudyt here.Shesai dshe
coul dhelpi fIneededat ransf er
.Ifir
sthavet otalk
tomybur sar ycompanyf irst.Mr sEhasbeenaski ng
aboutMakhul u.I tseemsshei sfondofmygr anny.
Tamkhul ucal l
edsayi ngthathecan' tkeept he
secr etanymor e.Heconf essedt obeingint ouch
withLi yema.Ofcour seIhadt obedr amat icf i
rstby
notspeaki ngt ohi mf oradaybutIsoonr eal i
zed
thathadhenot ,
Imi ghtperhapsnothaveseent he
boys.Iwassoexci tedtoseet hem.Myphonewas
givingpr obl emsandhaveonl ynowbeenabl et o
sentt hem t hepi cturesandvi deosItookoft heboys.
Makhul ucal ledandshecoul dnotst opgoi ngon
abouthowbeaut i
fulandgownt heyar e.Sheasked
thatIcomehomewi t
hthem butIdon' tthinkLi yema
willallowi tyet .Makhul usaidshehasputmeon
speakerphonebecauseTamkhul uwant edt ot alkt o
me.
NTOMBI :“
I'
mlist
eni
ng,Tata,
”Isai
d.Therewas
somef i
ddl
ingsoundcomingfrom t
heothersi
deof
thel
ine.

Tamkhulu:“Nt
o-Nto,whenwillt
hisboycomet o
speaktomeandyourf atheraboutdamages.He
hasbeenavoidingthequesti
onsoI '
m aski
ngyou.I
seeyoutakepictur
eswiththeboysandI '
m happy
butaccordi
ngtocultur
eheshoul dnothavethem
unti
lhepaysrespecttoyoubypayingf or
damages,”heshouted.

Ntombi:“Idon'tthinkLiyemahasintent
ionofdoi
ng
thatandIdon'tblamehi m.Wedidnothaves..
.we
didnotconceivet heboysnat ur
all
ysohedidnot
real
ly“damage”me, ”Isaidchoosi
ngthemost
respectabl
ewor dsever .

Tamkhul
u:“
Wel
lthatdoesnotmat
ter
.Tel
lhi
mto
cal
lmeorhewil
lmeetmeathi
sfat
her
'shouse.
”he
shout
edevenl
ouder
.

Ntombi:“Okay,
Tat
aIwi
ll
.Buti
sitnotMakhuluand
otherwomenwhohavetogotohishome?”,
Iasked
curi
ously.

Tamkhulu:“Donotbotheryoursel
fwi t
hthedetai
ls.
Letusdothingsri
ghtfortheseboyst ohavea
bri
ghtfut
ure.Wemesswi t
hculture,weri
sk
messingwiththei
rli
ves.Iloveyou,goodbye!
,
”he
shout
ed.

Makulusaidaf ewlastwor dsbeforecutt

ingthecall
.
Whydool dpeopl eshoutsomuchwhent heyspeak
onthephone?Idon' tevenknowhowIwi llstar
tthe
conversat
ionaboutdamageswi thLiyema.Ifheis
avoidi
ngthet opic.Itmeanshedoesnotwantt odo
i
tandIdon' tblamehi m.Shouldn’
taboyhavesexi n
orderfort
hef ami l
yt oclai
mt hathe“damaged”me?
Oristhepregnancyi t
self“t
hedamage” ?IthoughtI
knewcul tur
ebutIcl ear
lyhavealott olearn.After
studyingforthet estIhavelateri
nt heweek, Icall
ed
Liyemawel lIdidnotwantt ospeakt ohimt hough.I
wentt obedaf terblowingkissestomybundl esof
joy.Hopingthatmyhousemat eswon' teattheir
cake.Idon'ttrustthosetwowheni tcomest osweet
treat
s.

LI
YEMA

Itol
dVusiaboutmyembar rassingnonexi stent
sexualmomentwi thNt ombiandevenaf teraf ew
daysIhavenothear dtheendofi t.Ist i
llfantasize
aboutt hei
magesoft hatdream t hough.Iwonderi f
herbodyi sthewayitwasi nthedr eam wi t
houtany
cl
otheson.VusisaidIneededt ogetl aidandhei s
ri
ghtorIwi l
lgocrazybutIwantNt ombi .Theday
wet ookhertotheair
por twashel lformeandt he
boys.Icouldseetheirhysteri
calcr iesbr okeher
heart.Iwascryi
ngtoobuti nternally.Idi dnotl i
ke
seei
nghergobutshehasal i
fe.Iof feredt opayf or
hert i
cket sagai nbutshehasnotal l
owedmet o.I
knowshef eelsli
keabur denbutshei snot .I
under standt hatshei sast udentandherf ami l
yi s
notwel lof flikemi nesot heycan' tjustgiveher
moneyspont aneously.I'ver espectedherdeci sion
topayf orherownt i
ckett houghbuti thasnot
wor kedi nanyone' sfavorbecausesheneedst o
savef irst.Sheal soinsist sonbuyi ngclothesf or
them whi chi snotamust .Sheneedst oacceptt hat
shecan' tdof orthem whatIcanmat eri
alisti
callyyet
andt hati t'
sokay.Theywanther ,notwhatgi ft
sshe
comeswi t
h.WhenIendt hevi deocal l
stheycr y.I
don'ttellhert hatbecauseIdon' twanthert oover
thi
nki t.Ist ruggleeachni ghtwi thfourcryi ngboys
afterthecal lendsandi tbr eaksmyhear tt hatthey
can'tgethersnuggl es.I'
m sur ehercuddl esar e
mor ewar m andl ovi
ngt hanmi ne.She' salsomor e
gent l
ewi ththem andnowt heyar eleftwitht he
stri
ctpar ent.

Todayisthei
rbi
rthdayandIhaveabigsurpr
isef
or
them,Ial
sogotthegreatnewsthatBanel
ehas
outgrownhi ssleepi ngdecease.I '
m pr oudofmy
boyandNt ombiwascheer ingl i
kehi sper sonal
cheer l
eaderovervi deoscal ltell
inghi m howpr oud
shei sofhi m.Iadmi tt
hatshecanbeabi ttomuch
formeatt imesandevenannoysmebutt hati s
whatImi ssmost .Imi sshowl it
et heai rathome
feelswhenshewasher e.Theboysdi dnoteven
throwal otoft antrums.Bet weent hepl aying,the
singing, dancing, cheer i
ngf ornot hingandcl apping
hands, theyhadnot imet osul k.Imi sst hat.They
havebeenwi t
hmel ongestbutshej ustget sthem.I
wokeupandwentt otheirroom.Theywer eall
standingi ntheircot sandj umpedupanddown
smi l
ingwhenIwal kedin.thesemoment smakemy
daysf eelwor t
hl i
vi ng.Istar tedt osinghappy
birt
hdayt hem i nani ceslowt one.Theyj ustst ar
ed
atme.Nt ombical ledandIputheronspeaker .She
sangbuti naf unway.Theyevensmi l
edwhenshe
sang.Theyt ri
edt osay“ Hoor ay”toobuti twasnot
quiteright .Shewi shedmeahappybi rthdayt oo.
I'
veputi nal otofhour satt heof fi
cet ogetbi g
projectsdonesoI '
dbeabl et ospendt i
mewi ththem
andsur prisethem.Soont hemessagesf r
om t he
ext endedf ami lycamet hroughf ormeandt heboys.
Mmaal socal l
edt osi ngf orusandwant edt ospend
thedaywi thusbutIt oldhershecan' t.Shewenton
abouthowsadshewast hatIdon' twanthert o
spendt hedaywi thusbutwhenshehear dt hatwe
aregoi ngt oPEshegotexci ted.I '
l
lbegoi ngwi th
Pat rici
a, oneoft heirnanni es.Shehasneverbeen
onapl anebef or eandi sner vous.I 'vef l
ownwi tht he
boysbef oret oi ntroducet hem t osomeext ended
fami l
yandwhenwewentonaf ami lyt r
ipwi thmy
par ents.Ij usthopet heywon' tbedi f
ficultbecause
fl
yi ngwi t
hf ourbabi esi snoj oket hati swhyI
deci dedt ot aket heirnannywi th.It'sourbi rt
hday
yetwewi llbesur prisingNt ombi .Wegott heboys
ready.MeEuni cepackedourcl othesl astni ght.Our
fl
ighti sf ort hi
saf ternoonbecauseNt ombiwi l
lhave
classesi nt hemor ningunt i
lnoon.Mmahas
organi zedapar tyfort hem f orSat ur dayandIhope
Nt ombiwi llmakei t.Iknowshehasabi gt eston
Fridaybutshehaspl ent yoft imet ogetonapl ane
andcomeover .Thet imewentbyqui ckandwe
wer eont hepl anet oPEbef or eweknewi t.Aside
from t heat tent ionseeki ngcr ying, theyact uall
y
behaved.I '
m alsousedt ohavi ngr andom peopl e
comet oust oaski ft
heyar equadr upletsbynow.
Thatwaswhathappenedwhenwear rivedatthePE
airport.Theylovetheattentiont oo.Ihi redacar .I
alsohi redcarseatsbecauseIwasnotaboutt oput
theirli
vesatr i
sk.I'
mf eeli
ngner vous.Idon' teven
knowi fNtombiwi l
lbehome.Whenwear ri
vedat
herpl aceIaskedt hatshest epoutbecauseI 'm
out si
de.Shecameoutl ookingconf usedbut
screamedwhenshesatPatt aket heboysoutoft he
car.Ihadnocont rolaft
erthat .Shecal ledher
fri
endsoutt oi nt
roducethem t otheboys.Ican' t
keept rackofthenumberofki ssest heygotf rom
her .

Mike:“Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
ievethatyou'
reamot
herof
f
our,”hesaidwhil
eholdingBandil
e.

Ntombi
:“AndI'
m noteventhi
rt
yyet
,dude,
”she
l
aughed.“ButIl
oveit
”,sheti
ckl
edBukhosiandhe
l
aughed.
Xol
i:“
Yourti
mingt
hough.Wewerejustabouttocut
acakemommyboughttocelebr
atethei
rbir
thday.
,”
shesaid.

Liyema:“I'
m knownforhavinggoodtimi
ng.Ifyou
guyslike,wecanallgooutandcelebrat
e.Myt r
eat
,”
Isaid.XoliputBubel
edownandr aninsi
de.Iguess
togetready.Weal lj
ustl
aughed.Duduseemsl i
kea
quietperson.SheandMikewentinsidewit
ht he
boyswhi leNtombiandIstoodoutsi
de.

Nt
ombi
:“Thankyou,
”shesmi
led.

Liyema:“Theyforcedme.Theysai di fmommycan' t
comet ot
hem fortheirbi
rt
hdaythenIshoul dtake
them tomommy.I '
m beingbul
li
edi nt hathouse
sinceyourvisi
t,“Ijokedandwel aughed.Herar ms
wr appedthemselvesaroundmywai st.Ifr
ozel i
kea
statue.
Ntombi:“Ohr el
ax,It
'sj
ustahug,
”sheputmyar ms
aroundhershoul der
ssoI'dhugherback.“
Ahug
won'tki
llyou,Ndlovu”,
sheadded.Il
ovedthatshe
call
smeNdl ovu.Nooneelsehas.

Liyema:“Myhearthasalr
eadyst
oppedactual
ly,
”
shelaughed.Imeantit
.Myheartpausedf
ora
secondwhenshehuggedme.

Ntombi:“HappyBirthdaytoyout oo.Iknowyou
wouldnothavelikedt heotherstoknowbecause
youjustdon'
twantat tent
ion,”shetil
tedherhead
backwardstolookupatme.Herchi nrest
edonmy
chest.I
naper f
ectwor ldI
'dlowermyheadt okiss
herbutwear enotinaper fectworld.Sheplant
eda
quickki
ssonmyr ightcheekandl etgo.

Liyema:“
Thanks.YourememberPatr
ight
.Idi
dnot
evengettoi
ntroducehert
oyourf
ri
endsbecauseof
t
heexci
tement
,”Isai
dpoi
nti
ngatPat
.

NtombihuggedPatandi nvitedusi nside.Theboys

hadcakeal lar oundt heirmout hbyt hetimeIwent
i
n.Idi dnotmakeaf ussbecauset heyseemedt o
enjoyi t.Wesangf ort hem andt heycl appedhands
i
nexci tement .Iwisht heycoul dbet hi
shappyal lthe
ti
me.Xol icameoutl ooki ngbeaut i
fulbutt oo
overdr essedf orthebabyf riendlypl aceIpl anon
taki
ngt hem t o.Nt ombisai dweshoul dleaveher ,
it'
s
j
usthowshei s.Wedi dnotal lfi
tint hecarand
Ntombiandherf ri
endssai dt heywoul dtakeat axi.I
didn'twanthert o.Iwant edusandourboysi nthe
carbutl ethergowi thherf ri
ends.Whenwegott o
ther estaur antIt oldt hem aboutt hespeci alday.
Thest af fwassi ngi ngsoonaf t
er.TheEl ephantboys
l
oveat tent i
on, al
loft hem.Event heusual lygr umpy
Bukhosiwasj usthavi ngf un.I tmustbet hePEai r.
Ntombi 'sfriendsl ovedt hem.Thepeopl eint he
restaur antwer eintriguedbyt hequadr uplets,some
hadneverseenany.SomeaskedNt ombihowt he
pregnancywasandsheanswer edt hem.Nt ombi '
s
fri
endshadt oleave.Theyt hankedmef orthegreat
ti
me, fr
eemealanddr i
nkst oo.Patsatatt heback
witht heboysandNt ombisati nthepassengerseat .
Shemi ghtaswel lhavegonet ot hebackbecause
shewasl ookingbackmostoft het r
ip.Ibookedus
i
nt oaB&B.Tomor rowmor ningwewi l
lbegoi ng
backt oCapeTown.Pataskedi fshecouldgot oher
sister'
s.Ial l
owedi tbecauseIneededherhel pt o
gett heboysr eadyandi ntheplane.Shepr omised
she'dbei ntimet omor rowt ohel pme.Iunpacked
theirtoyssot heycoul dplay.Ithoughtt heywoul d
benappi ngbynow.Iguesst heyar eonasugar
rush.Nt ombisatont hecouchandwat chedt hem
playont hematwhi leIwasbusydoi ngnot hi
ng
actual l
y.Ijustlikedlookingatt hef i
veoft hem.I
decidedt ogosi tnextt oher ,
Idon'twanthert ofeel
I'
m avoi dingheragai n.It hrewmysel fthecouchand
shehat editbecausei tmadeherbounce.

Li
yema:“
Ithi
nktheywi
llonl
yfal
lasl
eepatni
ght
.,
”I
madeconver
sat
ion.
Ntombi:“Thanksagai
nforthis,
Liyema.Ididnot
expectit
.Ican'
twaitf
orthem tospeakful
l
sentencessotheycantel
lmewhatyouar eupto,
”
shesaidandwebot hlaughed.

Li
yema:“I
twasapleasureandno,Idi
dnotspenda
l
otofmoney.Thei
rti
cketswereact
ual
lysponsor
ed
byacl
ientwhoadoresthem,
”Ili
ed.

Ntombi:“Good,
I'
m glad.Ireal
lymissedthem.I
've
beenthinki
ngofstudyi
nginCapeTownnextyear ,
“herwor dswer
emusi ctomyear s.Itr
iedtohi
de
myexcitementbybreakingeyecontact

Li
yema:“Theywouldlovethat
,”Isai
dknowingver
y
wellt
hatIwoul
dtoo.Shelookedlikeshehas
somethi
ngonhermi ndthough.

Ntombi:“
Ineedtot
ellyousomet
hing.Idon'
twant
t
ot al
kaboutthi
sbutmygrandpawillaskwhenhe
cal
ls.Uhm..
.i
t'
saboutyoupayi
ngdamages,
”she
sai
dsof t
lywhi
lel
ookingatt
heboys.

Li
yema:“I
'l
lsortthatout
,Ntombi.Myfather
happenstoagreewithyourgrandf
ather.Tel
ltheol
d
manI '
l
lbeintouchandI'm sorr
yforstal
li
ng,
”
Ntombi:“Idon'twantyoutodoit.Theyare100%
dependentonyouandnowmyf ami l
ywantsmoney
whentheboysdon' tl
iveus,
”shesaidwit
hacute
fr
ownonherf orehead.

Li
yema:“Heactual
lypref
ersl
ivest
ocknotmoney,
”I
l
aughedsoft
ly.Hergr
andpaisoldfashi
onedand
mydadli
kesi t
.

Nt
ombi
:“Thatyouhavet
opayf
or,
”

Liyema:“
Ithel
pstohaveadadwhoownsaf arm,so
don'twor
ry.Wearegoingbackt
omor r
owsoenj oy
thisti
mewiththem andst
opworryi
ngaboutsuch
t
hings,
”

Ntombi:“
Iwishyoucoul
dst
ayl
onger
,”shesai
d
soft
lyandlookedatme.

Li
yema:“
Met oobutyouwil
lbecomingt
ot hei
r
par
tySat
urdaythoughsoyeah,
”shesmi
led.

Bukhosi
:“Ama”
,hesai
dwhi l
egivingheratoy.
Ntombicoul
dnotcont
ainhersel
f.Shepickedhi
m
upandhesaidi
toverandoveragain.

Li
yema:“Thatdi
dnotsoundl
ikeMamaatal
l,
'she
l
ookedatme.

Nt
ombi
:“Jeal
ousmuch,
Ndl
ovu?
”webbot
hlaughed.

Theyhavebeensayi
ngaf
ewwor
dsmor
ecl
ear
ly
l
at ely.Ihavebeent ryingt omaket hem sayTat abut
nopet heyi nsteadt ri
edt osayMma' scat'sname.
“Ama”doessoundcl oseenought oMama.One
woul dt hinkt heywoul dsaydadf ir
st .Wej oinedthe
boysont hematandpl ayedwi ththem.I tstart
edto
getdar kout .Wef edthem, bat hedt hem andsoon
theywer ef astasl eep.Theyar eof ficial
lyone.I
order edf oodf orNt ombiandI .Itseemedshe
want edt osl eepoversoshe' dbeher et osay
goodbyet omor rowmor ning.I '
m sur eshedi dnot
knowhowt oask.Ther oom hasadoubl ebedon
whi chwest rategical
lypl acet heboyswi thpill
ows
ont hesi desandasi ngl ebedt hatIwasgoi ngto
sleepon.Iof feredthesi ngl ebedf orherandsai dI'
d
sleepont hever yshor tandsof tcouch.Sheagr eed
ri
ghtaway.I 'l
lwakeupwi thasor ebodyt omor r
ow
butwhatt heheck.It ookt heext rabl ankett heygot
andputi tont hecouch.Iof feredherapai rofmy
cleanboxer sandashi r
ttosl eepi n, thesameshi r
tI
i
nt endonwear ingtomor r
ow.Shel ookedcut eand
herper ky, roundassdi dmyboxer ssomej usti
ce.It
fi
tt i
ght lyonher .Shecamet oj oinmeont hecouch
becausehershowwasonTV.Iwassl eepybutshe
wasonmy“ bed”soicoul dnotsl eepyet .Imade
aboutt hel eadingmanoft heshowandshe
defendedhi ml ikecrazy.Iguessi t
'shercel ebri
t y
crush.Shel aterlaughedt hough.Wehadagr eat
chat .Itwasl i
eol dtimesagai nwhenI '
dgot oher
room t oj ustchi ll
.Wet ri
edt okeept henoisedown
butt her ewer emoment swef ai l
ed.Wewer ebot h
undert hebl anketont hecouchsoonenough.We
satandwat chedanot hermovi e.Wewer el aughing
atsomet hi ngsof tl
yandIdon' tknowwher eIgott he
cour aget oki ssherbutIdi d.Shedi dn'tkissme
backatf irst.Shel ookedatme.Iki ssedheragai n
andherl ipsmoved, kissingmeback.Herl ipsfeel
i
ncr edibl e.Iputmyhandonherknee, maki ngsur e
tonotbr eakt heki ss.Shecl imbedont opofme.The
kissbecamemor eint ense.Sayi ngI '
mt urnedon
woul dbeanunder stat ement , Icravedher .Shewas
caref ulanddi dnotal lowherhandst oexpl oremy
bodybutt hatwasokay.Ipl acedmyhandsunder
theover sizedT- shirtshewor e.Iwr appedmyr ight
armsar oundherwai sttobr inghercl osert ome.I
want edhert ofeelhowbadl yIwant edher .Myl eft
armswentup, Icuppedherwar m,sof tbreastinmy
handsandgentl
ykneadedi
t.Hernippl
eswereerect
.
Imanagedtotakeherar
m outofonesleevebutshe
broket
heki
ss,gotoffmeandsatatadi st
ance.

Ntombi
:“I
'
m notgoi
ngt
osl
eepwi
thyou,
Liyema,
”
shesai
dsoft
ly.

Li
yema:“Okay,
”Isai
dandmovedclosert
oher
sl
owly.Ihel
pedherputt
heshi
rtbackonproper
ly.

Ntombi :“
Ihavetogo, ”shewasaboutt ostandbutI
heldherandst oppedherf rom getti
ngup.Ihugged
herfrom thebackwhi lewewer ebot hsti
llsi
tt
ing.
Shedi dnotmove.Ipl antedasof tkissattheback
ofherneck.Shet urnedherheadt olookatme.I
hatedthatshehadt earsi nhereyes.“I'
m notgoing
tosleepwi t
hyou,Liyema, ”sheaddedi nawhi sper
.

Li
yema:“Andthat
'sokay.I
'm sor
ryf
oral
lowi
ngt
he
ki
sstogetoutofcontr
ol,
”
Ntombi:“
Ial
lowedmyflesht
ocontrolme.It
'snot
yourf
ault
.Ihavetogo,
”shewipedhertear
soff.

Liyema:“Pleasest
ay.Iwil
lgoaskiftheyhavea
room avail
ablesoI'
dsleepini
t.Just
...
justst
ay.
,
”I
pleaded.

Ntombi:“
Ist
hatwhyyouallowedmetoseethem.
Becauseyouwantedt
osleepwithme?”If
elt
off
endedbyherquest
ion.

Li
yema:“No,”Isai
d.“
I'
m notaft
ersexNtombi.I
..
.I
wantyou.I
'
mi nlovewit
hyou,”Iconf
essed.

Iexpect
edhertogetoutofmyarms,getdressed
andwalkoutbutshestart
edt
ocrymor ei
nstead.I
wasnotsurewhattodosoIlethershowmewhat
shewantedmet odo.Shewassit
ti
ngont heedge
ofthecouchandthatcoul
dnothavebeen
comf ortable.Il etgoofherandgotawayf rom
behi ndher .Shesatbackandhi dherf aceint he
shi rtwithherkneesagai nstherchest .I
'm notgood
atcomf or ti
ngsomeone.Iwi shshecoul dtellme
whatt odo.Shoul dIst andandgof indanot herr oom?
Ideci dedt ot ryandcomf orther .Iputmyar m
aroundherandmovedcl oser.Sheputherar ms
aroundmywai standcont i
nuedt ocr y.Ihatedeach
momentshespentcr ying.Ihat edt hatIstart ed
ever ythingbyki ssingherandbysayi ngIloveher .I
openedt hef loodgat esofhert ear sbymyact ions.
Shest oppedcr yingbutst i
llburiedherf acei nmy
neck.Shebr eat hedhotai ront omyneck.Ther ewas
silencef oral ongwhi le.Shef inallyl ookedup.She
putherheadont hecouchwhi lel ooki ngatme, I
turnedmybodyt of aceherandl ookather .Her
eyeswer er ed.Wemadepr olongedeyecont act
wi thoutsayi ngawor d.I twasast houghshewas
tryingt ol ooki nt omysoul .

Li
yema:“
Hi,
”Isai
dsof
tl
y.
Nt
ombi
:“Hi
,
”sher
epl
ied.

Li
yema:“I'
m sor
ry,
”Isai
dst
il
llooki
ngi
ntohercr
ied
outeyes.

Ntombi :“
Idon'
twantarel
ati
onship,
Liyema.
Especiall
ynotwit
hyou.,
”herwordscrushedmy
spiri
t.
”Nextt
hingyouwil
lbetryi
ngtocontrolmeby
usingtheboysknowi.
..
”

Liyema:“WhydoIgetthefeeli
ngthatyou'
re
compar i
ngmet oyourex?I'
m notthebestper
son
thereisNtombibutdon'
tcomparemet oscum
please,
”Icuthershor
t.

Ntombi:“
I'
m sor
ryt
hatwasunf
airofme,
”she
l
ookingdown.

Li
yema:“
Isi
tmeyoudon'
twantorar
eyouj
ust
af
rai
dofbei
ngl
ovedr
ight
?”shel
ookedatmeagai
n.

Nt
ombi:“I
t.
..
it
'syouIdon'
twant
,”shesai
dina
whi
sper.

Liymea:“ Cool
.It
hinki
t'
sbestIgetanot herroom.
I'
mt i
redandt heywakeupearly.I
'm sorryfor
toni
ght .Nonofwhathappenedbet weenusshoul d
havehappened.I twasamomentofweaknessf r
om
bothofusandIt hinkspendi
ngt i
mewi thyoumade
mebel ieveI'
vedevel
opedfeel
ingsforyou.Wej ust
needr estandyeahuhm...
goodnight,
”Isaidinasad
l
owt one.

Nt
ombi
:“Ni
ghtandI
'
m sor
ry,
”shel
ookedatme

Iwalkedoutfi
ll
edwithregret
.WhatwasIt hi
nki
ng?I
wenttotherecept
ioni
standluckil
ytheyhadan
avail
abl
eroom.Ijustpeakedthroughthei
rdoort
o
tel
lherIgotadoorandlefttogothere.It
ookmy
pantsof fandgoti ntobed.Ihat edt hatshe
compar edmet ot hatt hingshecal l
edaboyf riend.
Controlherusi ngt heboys?I nwhatwaywoul dI
controlherusi ngt heboys.Iknowshewoul ddo
anythingf ort hem butIwoul dnotaskhert osel lher
soultopr ovei t.Ift hati swhatshei susedt ot hen
shewi llnotgeti tfr om me.Doesshet hinkI'l
lgive
herultimat umsl ike“ youseet heboysonl ywhen
youagr eet ohavesexwi t
hme” ?Didt hatbast ard
makeherdosuch?Coul dhehavef or cedhi msel fon
heratsomepoi nt ?Mymi ndwasf il
ledwi th
questionsIcoul dnotgoaskNt ombi .Iwasmadat
her,notf ort ur ningmedownbutf orseei ngme
thr
ought hel ensesshesawt hatpi g.Af terawhi leI
cal
meddownandt ri
edt ounder standwher eshe
camef rom.Herr ejectiondi dnotgoi nwel lbutI
underst and.Shehasal otgoi ngoni nherl i
fer i
ght
now.Fr om t her apy, t
oschoolandnowt hekids.But
shedi dsayshedoesnotwantt obewi t
hme.I
guesst heki ssmademet hinkshedoesbuti twasa
momentofphysi cal weakness.Shehasnotbeen
wit
hamani nal ongt imeIguess, soi t'sonl y
normalf orherbodyt ogetabi texcited.Ij usthope
thi
ngswon' tbeawkwar dbetweenus.Wehave
madesomuchpr ogress.Idon'tr
egrettoday.I
twas
thebestbirt
hdayIhavehadsi nceLulonke'sdeat
h.I
j
ustregretkissi
ngNt ombiandt el
li
ngherIl oveher
butatleastnowI '
m surethatshedoesnotwantme.
Lif
egoeson.I 'l
lmeetsomeonesomedaybutunt il
thenI'
l
lfocusonmyki dsandbusi ness.Ntombiis
tooyounganyway.
[
03/
28,
17:
12]Lynne:THI
RTYEI
GHT

NTOMBI

ThemomentofweaknessLi yemaandIhadaf ew
daysagohasmademewonderi fIshouldgot o
CapeTownornot .Wehavenotspokenabouti t
sinceithappened.Whent heyl eftforCapeTown
thingswer eawkwar d.Idon'tthinkLiyemal ovesme.
Ithinkhel ovestheideaofme.Ideci dedt ogoto
CapeTown.Iwantt obet herewhent heycelebrat
e
theirf
irstbirt
hdayparty.Iwantt omakememor ies
withthem andber emindedoft hem whenIl ookat
thepicturesthatwewi lltake.I'm sur eLi yemahas
forgott
enaboutt hatni ght .Idon' tknowwhyI
all
owedi tt
ogetsof ar.Thewayheki ssedand
touchedmewassof orei gnt ome.Il ovedt he
feeli
ngbutIcoul dnotl eti tgoon.Ist i
lldon' tthink
wecanmakear elati
onshi pwor k.Menl ikehi ml ike
i
ndependentwomenwhowearexpensi vecl othes
andper fume.Al lIcanaf f ordisaR20spr aybot tle
that'
sifIhavemoneyf ori tatall.Ibuycl othest hat
everyot hergir
latvar sityhasbecauseIcan' taff ord
exclusiveboutiquecl othes.Iacci dentallyspent
mostoft hemoneyIhadsavedupongi ftsf orthe
boys.Iwenti ntot hetoyst oreandwentcr azy.The
moneyt ogot oCapeTownwasnotenoughf ora
bust i
cketanddef ini
telynotenoughf orapl ane
ti
cket.MyFr i
dayt estgotpost ponedwhi chwas
musi ctomyear s.Icoul dn'treallyst udyaf terwhat
happened.Al lIcoul dthi nkaboutwasLi yema.Xol i
saysI '
m denyingmyf eel i
ngsf orhi m butIdon' tf eel
Iam.Sheal sosai dIshoul daskLi yemaf ormoney
forat i
cketandt hatwasnotagoodi dea.Ial sodi d
notwantt obothermyf ami l
y.Xol ithensuggest edI
hiketoCapeTown.Ihaveneverhi tchhikedi nmy
l
ifebuti tseemsI '
vegotnoopt ion.Xoliputapost
onherFacebookpageaski ngifanyonewasgoi ng
toCapeTownf r
om Por tElizabethear l
yonFr iday
mor ning.Al adyr epli
edsayi ngshewasgoi ngt o
CapeTownatabout8am.Xol ireservedaseatf or
meandt hepr i
cewaswi thi
nmybudget .I'
m gladI
didn'thavet ogost andbyt hesideoft heroad
holdingat humbsup.Soci almedi ahasbecome
reall
yhel pful.I
'm gladi twasal adywhowasgoi ng
togivemeal if
t.IpackedmybagsThur sdayni ght.I
can'twai ttoseemyl i
ttleones.Mor ningcameand
theladyi ndeedpi ckedmeupatt hespotweagr eed
uponi nt own.Shehadt woot herpeopleint hecar ,a
manandwoman.Theyl ookedl i
keacoupl e.They
gotof finMossel bay.NomsaandIhadagr eatchat
ont heway.Sher eceivedacal lsayi
ngt hatshehad
togot oDubanvi l
leur gent l
yandal sohadt odr op
meof fthere.Myhear tst ar
tedt oracebecauseI
didn'tknowDur banvi l
le.Icoul dseet hatshehada
realemer gencysoIaskedhert odropmeatapl ace
wher eIcoul dfindt het axitoCapeTown.She
droppedmeof fatapl acet hatseemedsaf e.I
couldn'tfindat axiandt hepr i
vatecar sweret oo
expensi ve.Isatwi thbagsf il
ledwi t
ht oysand
fear edsomeonemi ghtt akemybagssoIcl ungto
them.Thepl acehadmost lywhitepeopl eandt hey
coul dn'thel pme.If el
tscar ed.Iwasi napl aceIhad
neverbeenandnoonecoul dhelpme.Icheckedmy
phonebat teryandi twasat8%.Ideci dedt o
swal l
owmypr ideandcal lLiyema.Heanswer ed
af t
eraf ewr i
ngs.It oldhi m whathappenedandhe
wasnothappyt hatIchoset ohikei nsteadofask
himf orhel p.It oldhi m wher eIwasandwhi le
descr ibingmusur roundi ngmyphonedi ed.Tears
rolleddownmycheeksf r
eel y.Iclungt omybags
l
ikemyl if
edependedoni t.Itwasst artingtoget
dar kandmyanxi etylevelwentupt her oof.I
regr ett
edhi tchhiking.Iwi shIhadaskedNomsat o
takemewi tht owher evershewentbutIcoul dn't
bot herheraf t
ershegavemeal iftf
orl it
tlemoney.A
fewmi nut eswentbyandi tfeltl
ikef orever.After
about20mi nutesofhopel essnessLi yemashowed
up.I twasabi tdar kbutIr ecognizet hem f r
om
anywher e.Hewasl ooki ngar oundandwhenhe
finallyspot tedmeher ant omeandgavemeahug.
Ihaveneveri nmyl ifebeensohappyt oseehi m.I
clungt ohiml ikenoot her.Hel ookedatmewi th
concer nandr eal izedI 'mf ine,justabi tshaken.
Liyema:" Shit, Nt ombidon' tdoanyt hi
ngl i
ket his
agai n,"hesai dwhi lepi ckingupmybags.Thet wo
ofuswal kedt ot hecar .Hel ookedupset .I'
m sur eI
i
nt erruptefhi m whi lehewasbusyatwi th
somet hingi mpor t
ant .Heputt hebagsi ntot heboot
andcamei ntot hecar s.Nt ombi :"I'
m sor ry,Liyema, "
Isai dqui etl
y.Li yema:" Doyour ealisehow
danger oust hesest reetsar e, Ntombiyetyouwent
andgoti ntosomest ranger '
scarf oreightl ong
hour s,"hel ookedatme.Nt ombi :"Ididn'tstandby
ther oad.Xol iputoutapostonFacebookandt he
driverwasal ady, "Liyema:" Howdoest hatmake
thingsanybet ter?Thesehumant r
affickers
somet imesusewoment olur eot herwomen.Thi si
s
acol dwor ld,Nt ombi .Idon' tcarehowt heheckyou
gott hedamnl iftbutt hatshi tisnotsaf e,"her aised
hisvoi ce.Nt ombi :"I
'm sor ryf orbot her i
ngyou, "I
star t
edt ocr y.Heexhal edl oudl y,clearlyannoyed.
Liyema:" Youdon' tgett hepoi ntdoyou?Youdi dn'
t
bot herme, Nt ombi .Youscar edmeshi t
less.Doyou
knowt hethingst hatcamet omi ndwhenyouhear d
you'reher ealonewheni twasal mostdar k?You
knowt hat .
..
letusjustgohome, "hesai dshet hecar
start
edt omove.Iwascr yi
ngsi l
ent l
ybecauseIwas
reli
evedandbecauseheshout edatme.Ideci tnitto
sayt hingst hatmi ghtangerhi m mor e.Wef i
rstwent
tohiswor kbecausehewast herebef orecomi ngt o
me.Li yema:" Iwon' tbelong.I'
lljustgetmyst uf f
.
Wi l
lyoubeokayonyourownf oraf ewmi nutes, "
sheaskedandInodded." Nt
ombi ,
I'm sorryfor
shout ingatyou.Ishoul dnothavedonet hat.I
was...If earedsomet hi
ngbadwoul dhappent oyou.
Idon'tevenknowhowImanagedt ogett heresaf ely
witht hespeedIdr ovein,"hesaidsof tl
y."I'
m sor ry
andI '
llbebacknow.Youcanchar geyourphonei f
youwant ,
"hesai dbef oredisappear inginsidet he
bigof ficebui l
ding.Thesoundofhi svoi cetoldme
thather eallywasaf r
aidthatsomet hingwoul d
happent ome.If eltsobad.Hewasr ight,somany
badt hingscoul dhavehappenedt ome.Ican' t
beli
evet hathel efthiswor kanddr oveatan
unlawf ulspeedt ogett ome.Nomanhasevercar ed
somuch.Nomanhadputmeaboveanyt hingel se.
I'
m notsur ehowt of eelabouthim showi ngmeso
muchcar e.Iunderstoodwhyheshout ed.Hewas
l
et ti
nghi semot i
onsout .Ichargedmyphonet ocal l
Xol iandt el
lherI '
vear r
ived.Idi dn'ttellhert heent i
re
stor y.Li yemat ookaboutanhourbef orewedr ove
tohi spl ace.Iapol ogizedagai ninheaccept edmy
apol ogy.Byt het i
mewear r i
vedtheboyswer e
alreadysl eeping.Ikissedeachoneoft hem.I
want edt owaket hem butt heywi l
lneedener gyf or
theitpar tyt omor r
ow.IaskedLi yemai fitwasokay
i
fIt ookashower .Hesai dIshoul dmakemysel fat
home.Het ookmybagst ot hebedr oom Ioccupi ed
whenIwast herethelastt ime.It ookal ong, hot
shower .Iputonmypyj amasandgownwhenIwas
done.If oundhi mint heki tchenwar ningupf ood.
Liyema:" Lef t
overs..
.Ihopeyoudon' tmi nd,"he
l
ookedatme.Nt ombi :"Ihavenoteat ensi ncet his
mor ningsoI '
deatanyt hingr i
ghtnow, "Ilaughed
sof tly.Li yema:" Whydoyoudot his,Nt ombi ?You
makemef eelli
keI'mt hiscol d,unappr oachabl e
monst ersomet imes.I saccept ingmyhel psucha
pain? "
, heaskedi nasadt one.Nt ombi :"Idon' twant
todependonamanagai n.Itgivesthemanpower
overme, "Li yema:" I
'
m nothi m.Iwantyouher e
becausehavi ngyouher rmakesoutchi l
drenhappy.
Whent heyar ehappy, I'
m happy.Whatwoul dIhave
saidt ot hem hadsomet hinghappenedt oyout oday?
Ican' tloseyou, "hesai dwhi ledi shingoutt hefood.
Ntombi :"IknowIdi dsomet hingr eckless.I '
m sorr
y
onceagai n.Ij ustwant edt olessenyourl oad,
Liyema.I 'mi nPEl ivi
ngl ikeI '
m notamot heroffour
babi eswhi leyout akecar eoft hem i never yway.I
feelgui lt
y.Idon' twantt obei nyourway.I '
vespent
myl ifet ryingt onotbeabur dent ot hosear oundme
becausemostmademef eellikeone.Ij ustdon't
wantt obeabur dent oyout oapoi ntwher eyouget
ti
redofme, "Icried.Ihat edthatIcr iedsomuch.My
cryingmadehi m uncomf or
tabl e.Hegavememy
plateandl ookedatme.Li yema:" Thedayyoust op
compar ingmet ot hosepeopl ewhomadeyouf eel
l
ikeabur den, wi l
lbet hedayyour eali
zet hatI'
ve
neverseenyouasone.Ourl i
veswi llbecomeso
mucheasi eraf t
ert hat.You' renotsi tt
ingathome
beingi ncouchpot atol ookingt omar r
yar i
chman,
Ntombi .You' reast udentt r
yingt obet teryourl i
fefor
yourf ami l
yandourchi ldren.Idon' tmi ndtakingon
mor er esponsi bili
tybecauseofknowsomeday
you'llbeabl etohel pme.Pl easel etusnotcompar e
whatt heot herdoesf ort hechi ldren.Icant akecar e
ofthem andIhavet hemeanst obr ingyouher eto
seet hem.You' renotabur den, "hesai dcal ml y.
Ntombi :"Ihearyouandyou' rer ight.I '
l
lbemor e
accept i
ngofyourhel p.Ihadenoughmoneyt o
come.Ij ustwentover boardwi tht hepr ezzies,"he
l
aughedsof tl
y.Liyema:" Mmausest hatsame
excusewhenshebuyst hem t oomanyt hi
ngs, "
Ntombi :"It
'
snotanexcuse.Iwenti nt her egoi ngto
buyr hi nost uff
edt oysbutal ltheot hert oysj ust
grabbedmyat tenti
ont oo..
.i
twasl iket heywer e
calli
ngmyname, "hel aughed.Li yema:" Yeahr ight.
Let'seatsowecangot obed,"Nt ombi :"Icannot
believet hatyoul eftameet i
ngwi thacl i
entyou
wer et ryi
ngt ogetf orayeart ogett ome.Thank
you,"Li yema:" Somet hi ngsar emor eimpor tantthan
other s,"heputaspoonf uloffoodi nhi smout h.
Ntombi :"I'
mi mpor tantt oyou? ",wel ookedateach
otherandhenodded.Ismi l
ed." Thati ssweet ,"
Liyema:" Don'tgetal lsoppywi thme.Butf orr eal
though, Ntombi .Don' tdot hatagai n,"Nt ombi :"I
promi seIwon' t.Iwassoscar ed, "Liyema:" Iwas
too,"wemadepr olongedeyecont act ."Iknowyou
hopedt ofindt hem awake.Ihadt oputoutf i
resby
explainingwhyIr anoutofani mpor tantmeet ingto
thepot entialclientandmyt eam, "Nt ombi :"Didyou
managet ogethi mt odobusi nesswi thyou? "
Liyema:" I
'llknowsoonbutnowIneedt opr epare
mysel fment all
yf ortomor row.Mmai nvited
everyonesheknowswhohadki ds,"heputhi shand
onhi sface.Nt ombi :"I'
m sureshewentover board.
Isn'
titwei rdt hatwear etheirpar entsyetwedi dn't
haveasayi nwhatshoul dbehappeni ngatt he
party?"webot hlaughed.Li yema:" I'
m sur eeveni fit
wasourweddi ngshe' dhavet akenover ,"hesai d
andt hingsbecameabi tawkwar d."Notsayi ngitwil
l
happen. ..
justt ryi
ngt omakeyour ealizehowbad
Mmacanbe, "hel aughedawkwar dly.Nt ombi :
"Woul dyou. ..evergetmar r
iedagai n?"Li yema:" Had
youaskedmet hataf ewmont hsagoI 'dhavesai d
hellnobutnowIt hinkI '
dli
ket obutf ort her i
ght
reasonst hist ime,"Nt ombi:"Whatwoul dt hoseright
reasonsbe? "Li yema:" Meet i
ngt her ightwoman
whom Iwantt ogr owol dwi t
h.Awomanwhowi ll
l
ovemyboysasmuchasIdo.SomeoneIcanbui l
t
alifewi th.Someone. ..
someonewhowi llnotj udge
certaint hingsI 'l
lshar ewitht hem.Whowi llaccept
measIam, "hel ookedatme." Andyou, doyout hink
you'llevergetmar r
ied?"Nt ombi :" Idon'tknow, "I
shrugged.Li yema:" Howl ongwi llyoual lowt his
mant ocont rolyourl if
e?"heaskedaquest ionIdi d
notexpect .Nt ombi :"Hei snotcont roll
ingmyl i
fe,"
Liyema:" Thenwhyar eyouaf rai
dofl ove? "Nt ombi :
"I'
m notaf raidofl ove,Liyema.I '
m af r
aidof
receivingt hewr ongki ndofl oveagai n,
"Li yema:
"Howwi l
lyouknowi famanhast her i
ghtki ndof
l
ovet oof ferwhenyouwon' tletgoofyourf ear?"
Ntombi :"Idon' tknow.IguessIdon' tallowmysel fto
fi
ndout ,"Liyema:" Areyouaf raidofme? "Ilookedat
him.Nt ombi :"
I'm notaf r
aidofyou.Ij ustwi shyou' d
stopshout i
ngatmeast houghI 'm achi ldwhenI
don'tdot hingst hewayyoul ike.IknowI 'm younger
thanyoubuti tdoesnotgi veyouanyr ight ,
"Isai d
andhel ookeddown.Li yema:" You' reabsol utely
ri
ght .IknowI '
m notpat ientandt hatweaknessget s
thebet terofme.Iwon' tshoutatyouagai nbuton
moment swhenIdot henst opme.I 'm sor ry.I'
mj ust
aver yst ruct uredmanandIpr eferthingsacer tain
way.Youont heot herhand, "helookedatmeand
smi led.Nt ombi :"Iannoyyou, "Ilaughedsof tl
y.
Liyema:" ThatwasnotwhatIwasgoi ngtosay.I
wasgoi ngtosayyou' remyopposi t
e.Youdon' t
mi ndt hingsbei ngoutofor derandmessy, "Ntombi :
"Andi tannoysyou, "webot hl aughed.Li yema:" Your
wor ds. .
.Youcangot obedi fyouwant .I'
llputthese
i
nt hedi shwasher ,
"Nt onbi :"It'
sonl ytwopl atesand
af ewpl asti
ccont ai ners.Wecanwasht hem by
hand, "Ishookmyhead.Li yema:" ButI '
mt i
red,
"he
sulked.Imanagedt ogethi sbum of ftheshar eand
tot hesi nk.Hewashedwhi l
eIdr ied.Iexpect ed
thingst obeawkwar dbuti tseemst hatni ghtreally
wasj ustamomentofweakness.Heputsomef oam
onmyhai randIspr i
nkledwat erinhi df ace.Ilove
thesesi l
lymoment s.Hel oosensupabi tand
becamepl ayful.Af terplayi ngwi thf oam andwat er
maki ngext rawor kf orour sel veswedeci dedt ocall
i
tani ght .Tomor rowwi llbeal ongday.LI YEMA
WhenNt ombical ledt el
lingmeshewasst r
andedi n
at ownshedi dn'tknowIf li
ppedout .Thesoundof
feari nhervoi cewast hewor stpar t
.Atl eastwhen
herphonedi edshehadal readyt ol dmeher
wher eabout s.IknewDur banvill
ebecausei tis
basicallyapar tofCapeTown.I 'm sur ethet raff
ic
camer ascaughtmespeedi ngaf ewt imesbuti twas
allwor t
hi t
.Themot herofmychi ldrenwasal one
andaf raid.I'
m goi ngt ochooseherandourboys
overamul timi ll
ionr andaccountanyday.Eveni f
theclientdoesn' tsi gnwi thus, Iwi llhavenor egrets.
Ther eli
efIf eltwhenshewasi nmyar ms, saf ewas
i
ndescr ibable.Ihopeshe' llneverdosomet hingso
stupidagai n.Ther ear esickandt wi stedpeopl eout
there.IshudderwhenIt hinkaboutwhatcoul dhave
happened.Iwi l
lst opshout ingather ,oratleastt r
y
mybestnott o.Idon' twantt oremi ndherofher
cowar dofanexbecausei fhecoul dbeather ,I'
m
sureheshout edandswor eathert oo.I '
m gladshe
didbr i
ngwhathappenedMondayup.I twoul dhave
ruinedthings.Mor ningcamet oosoon.Ichecked
thetimeandr ealizedIgotaf ewext rahour sof
sleep.IfoundNt ombisi ttingwi tht heboysi nthe
l
ounge.Eachhadabot t
lei ntheirmout hand
mommyacupofcof fee.Theywer ewat ching
cartoons.Nooneevent ur nedt heirheadt oshow
theyar ehappyt oseeme.Nt ombisatbet weent hem.
Allfiveoft hem satwi ththeirlegsopenand
stretchedout .Itwasabeaut ifulsight .OneIwi shI
coul dwakeupt oever ymor ni ng.Igr eetedbutt he
boysdi dnotbot hert hemsel ves.Li yema:" Ohi st hat
howyouf ourchoset oactwhenmommyi s
around? "Isai dandNt ombil aughed.Nt ombi :
"That '
sbecauseyou' realwaysi nthei rf aces.Igi ve
them t imet omi ssme.Absencemakest hehear t
growf onder ,"shesai dwi thasmi l
e.Li yema:
"What everbabyat tentionsnat cher,"shel aughed
outl oud." Haveyouguyseat en? "Nt ombi :"Theyat e
already.Pati sout sidemaki ngacal l, shehel pedme
feedt hem, "Li yema:" Whyhaveyounoteat en
anyt hing?,"Nt ombi :"Iwaswai ti
ngf oryout omake
mepancakes, "shesmi led.Liyema:" Idon' twantt o,
"
Ijoked.Nt ombi :"Ohcomeonputasmi leonmy
face,"shepl eaded.Li yema:" Nope, "Isai dwhi l
e
wal kingt ot heki tchen.Idon' tknowwhoIwast r
ying
tof oolbysayi ngnobecauseIknewIwoul dmake
thedamnpancakes.Shef oll
owedmet ot hekitchen
andf oundmemaki ngherspeci alor der .Ifpancakes
madehersmi leal lthet i
me, I'
dhaveopeneda
pancakepl acej ustf orher .Iser vedbr eakf astfor
Ntombimysel fandPat .Theboyswoul dnotl etus
eatinpeacebecauset heywant edsome.Onewoul d
sweart heydi dn'thavebr eakf ast.Mmacal ledand
saideveryt hi
ngi sinor der.Ial l
owedhert ogocr azy
withtheirpartybecauseIknowshewant stodo
mor ethanherf riendshavef ortheirgrandchi l
dren.I
don'tunder st
andt hecompet iti
onandIwon' ttr
yto,
i
tmustbeawomant hings.Hour swentbyandt he
sixofuswer esoonatmypar entshouse.Nt ombi
seemsuncomf ortablear oundmyf ather.I'
m sure
i
t'shisser i
ousf acet hatintimat esher .Mmahad
j
umpi ngcast les, aguyt hatmadeshapesf rom
baloonst hewor ks.Thechi ldrenandt heirparents
start
edt oar r
iveandi twassoonagr eatcelebrati
on.
IfIdidnotknowbet t
erI '
dhavet houghtNt ombiwas
apar toftheent ertai
nmentpeopl e.Kidsl ovedher .
Theboysenj oyedhavi ngot herchi l
drenar ound.
Somewer efri
endsf rom chur ch.Lungi l
ebr oughthis
girl
fr
iendbecauseheknewourpar entswoul dnot
havet i
met ointer r
ogat eher ,smar tmove.Theday
wentwel luntilZi ngisashowedup.Mmadi dn'twant
tocauseascenesoshel etherst ay.I'
m gladIwent
totherapybecauseherpr esencedi dn'tphasemeat
all
.Zingi:"Theyl ookbeaut i
ful.Icamewi t
haf ri
end
andherki ds.Shei nsistsedt hatt heIcome, "she
saidwi thasmi le.Li yema:" Good, enjoy.Likeyou
seemyhandsar ef ull
.Ineedt ogett hesepar ty
packsovert her e,"Iwasaboutt owal kbutshehel d
myar m.Nt ombil ookedatusandIdi dnotlikebei ng
touchedbyanot herwomanwhi leshewaswat ching.
Mma:" Hey, hey.Idon' tknowwhyyouar eher ebut
I'
m war ningyou.I fyoudar er uinmygr andbabi es
celebrationyou' llseewhatI '
m capabl eof ,
"shesai d
softl
y.Zi ngi:"Mma, I'
m..."Mma:" Dyi ng"Mma"me.
I'
m not hingt oyou.Nowf i
ndacor nerandhi dei nit
l
ikethedi r
tyr atthatyouar e,"shewal kedaway.
Zingi:"You'renotevengoi ngt otrytodef endme? "
Liyema:" Themot herofmychi ldreni swaiti
ngf or
met ogi vehert hese.Enj oyt hedayandt hanksf or
comi ng,"Ileftherst andi ngther e.Whot hehel ldoes
shet hinkIam, herbodyguar d?It ookt heext r
apar t
y
packst oNt ombiandwal kedbehi ndherwhi leshe
handedt hem t ot hechi ldrent hathavenotgot ten
any.Mmahadacakebakedf oreachboywhi ch
wasunnecessar y.Af terwesangf orthem and
helpedt hem bl owt heircandl est her ewascake
ever ywher e.Ont hegr ass,thet abl e, onmeand
Ntombiandal lovert heirfacesandt heyl ovedt he
mess.Hour swentby, everyonewasexhaust edand
mostt heguest swenthomebutsomer emai ned.We
thankedMmaf orwhatshehasdone.Shesai dit
wasonl yapl easur e.IfoundNt ombii nt heki tchen
i
ndul gingi nabi gsl i
ceofcake.Onewoul dswear
shest ol eitthewayshewaseat ingi t
.Li yema:
"Whatar eyoudoi ng?"Isai dinast r angevoi ce.I
startledher .Nt ombi :"Stopi t
.Iputt hi spi eceaway
deepi nt hef ridgebecauseIknewt her ewoul dbe
nonl eft,"Liyema:" Andyoudi dnothi deasl icef or
me?I nt hatcaseIwantsomeofyour s,"shel ooked
atme.Nt ombi :"Someofmywhat ? "Li yema:" Your
cake, "Nt ombi :"Mywhat ?"shel aughedandI
remember edt hatsomepeopl er ef ert oawoman' s
privat esas" cake" .Liyema:" Sies, Nt ombiwear eata
kiddiespar tyandyoumakeki nkyj okes, "webot h
l
aughed." Nowpl easegi vemeabi tei fyoursweet ,
delicious, chocol atecake,"shel aughedhar der .
Ntombi :"No, Idon' twantt o,"Iwal kedcl osert oher
andt riedt ot akeabi tebutsher efused.Ihel dherby
herwai stli
nesoshe' dr emai nst i
ll.Mostoft hei ci
ng
l
andedont hef l
oorandsomeonhernose.Shewas
nothappywi t
hmebutal l
owedmet obi t
eof fa
piece.Iwi pedt hei cingonhernosewi thmyt humb
andl i
ckedi tof f
.Shesai di twasgr ossbecauseshe
sweat edbutIdi dn'tt hinkso.Ihel dhercl oserand
kissedheronceagai naf t
ercl aimi ngt hef i
rstti
me
wasami stake.Sheki ssedmeback.Someone
clear edt heirthr oatandf orcedust opar tourlips.It
wasZi ngisasayi ngt hatshewasl ookingf orher
fri
end.Shel eftusal oneagai nandIf ocusedont he
beaut yIhel di nmyar ms.Nt ombi :"Whoi sshe?I
sawyourmot hergi vinghercol dst aresallday,"
Liyema:" Myexwi fe."shel ookeddown.Nt ombi :
"Shei sbeaut i
ful,"shesai dsof tl
y.Li yema:" Idon't
wantt ot alkabouther .Iwantt otal kaboutus.Il ove,
Nt ombi .I
'vet ri
edt ohi dei tbutIcan' t.Iwantt obe
wit hyou, "Isai dwi t houtr egr et.Ntombi :"Whati fwe
messourr elationshi pupandt henendupbei ng
bitterexesf i
ght i
ngovert heboys? "Liyema:" Whati f
wegr owcl oserandar eabl et ogivet hem ast able
home? "Nt ombi :"Whati fyouwantmor ekidsi n
future? "Liyema:" I
'
m cont ent,baby.Ourf ourare
mor ethanenough, "Nt ombi :"Whati fIdon'thave
sexwi t
hyouwhi lewear einar elationshi p?Idon' t
wantt osleepwi thanot hermanunt i
lI'm mar r
ied,
Liyema, "Liyema:" Thenmar rymet hen, "Iki ssedher
shel aughed.Nt ombi :"No.Doyouknowwhatt hey
peopl esaynocoupl eget smar r
iedf ast ert hana
hor nyChr ist
iancoupl e,"webot hlaughed.Li yema:"I
havenothear dthatandIhopenocoupl eget s
mar r
iedbecauset heyar ehor ny.Justgi vemea
chancet oshowyouwhatl over eal l
yi s.Idon' tmi nd
thenosexbecauseI 'vebeenwi thouti tforl ong
anyway, "Nt ombi :"I'm scar ed, Liyema, "shesai d
softly.Liyema:" Met oobutwewi lltaket hingssl ow.
Ijustwantt opr ovet oyout hatlovecanbesaf eand
beaut if
ul,"Ikissedher .Shekeptqui et.Our
foreheadswer etouchi ng.Iwai t
edf orheranswer
anxi ously.Zingi:"OhLi yema, Ihavej ustcomet o
remi ndyout onotf orgetyourpi llsbutI '
m sur eyour
girl
friendhasal readysi nceyou' vet oldhert hat
you' reHIVposi tive, "
shesai dwhi lest andi ngatt he
doorIhavenevert houghtofbei ngvi olentt oa
womanbuti nthatmomental lIwant edt odowas
strangleZi ngisa.Shewal kedoutl eavi ngNt ombi
l
ooki ngatmei nshock.Shel ookedatmef rom head
totoeast houghshewant edtoseepr oofthatI'
m
real
lyHI Vposi ti
ve.Sheaskedmei fitwast r
ueandI
nodded.I tfeltli
kemyentirel
ifecamecr ushing
down.Thel ookofshockanduncer taint
yinhereyes
couldnotbeavoi ded.Thi
swasnothowIwant ed
hertof indout .I
'l
ldealwi
thZingi
saandshewi ll
regretitbutf ornowallIwantedwasf orNtombit o
saysomet hing.Whywoul dn'
tshesaysomet hi
ng,
anything?
[
03/
28,
17:
13]Lynne:THI
RTYNI
NE

NTOMBI

Ican'tbel
ievehowmeanandcol dLiyema' sexis.To
j
ustsaysomet hi nglikethis.Whothehelldoesshe
thi
nkshei s?Justbecausesheput sonexpensi ve
weavesandcl othesi tgiveshernori
ghtt ogo
aroundspr eadingl i
esaboutherexhusband.I '
ve
heardaboutbi tterexesbutshet akesthingstoa
total
lynewl evelandt hatonthedaywecel ebrate
ourchildr
en.Myf i
rstinsti
nctsweretorunoutand
l
eaveLi yemawi thhisexbutIt houghthowchi l
dish
thatwoul dhavebeen.Iwai tedunt ilshel eft.Idi dn'
t
knowwhatt osayt oLi yema.Mymout hf eltdr y.I
guessi t
'sbecauseIhadi topenal lt hist i
me.Ther e
wassuddenl ychaosi nt heki tchen.Mr sEcamei n
withtheboysbecauseshecl aimedt heymi ssedus.
Lungilecamei nandi twasat otalmess.Li yema
andIbot hgaveourat tent iont ot hedi stract ionst hat
showedj ustwhenIwasaboutt oaskwhatt hatwas
about.Thepoormanl ookedf lushed.Af t
eral lthese
l
itt
lemoment sofbeingal one, l
aughi ngandki ssingI
thi
nkImi ghtalsohavef eel i
ngsf orhi m.I 'm scar ed
though.Ihearhi m promi set her i
ghtl ovebutat
somepoi ntsodi dmyex.Andt oj okeaboutget ting
mar r
iedlikethat.Whoget smar ri
edt osomeone
theyhavenotevenbeeni nar elationshi pwi th?That
onlyhappensi narrangedmar riages.I tseemedt he
mor edesper ateIwast ot alkt ohi m al one, themor e
peoplear oundusmadesur ewewer en' talone.We
wenthomef eel
ingexhaust edaf t
ermanyhour s.The
boysdi dnotshowanysi gnsofwant ingt osl eep
eit
her.Whywon' tanyoneal lowust ospeakabout
whathappenedear l
ieron?Webat hedt heboysand
theyf inall
yret i
redf ortheni ght .If oundLi yemast il
l
sitti
ngont hef loorwher eIlef thi
m whenIwentt o
gol ookf ormyphone.Hewascl ear lydeepi n
thought .Isatnextt ohi m anddi dn' tsayawor dat
fi
rst.Iwashopi nghewoul dexpl ai nwhyhi sexwi fe
saidsuchameant hingbuthedi dn' tsayawor d
either.Ntombi :"Ar eyouokay? ,
"Iaskedsof tl
y.He
turnedt olookatmeandshookhi sheadsl owly."
Liyema:" Idon' tknowwhatt hatwomanwant sfrom
me.Shewasnothappywhenshewasmar ri
edwi th
meandpr ovedi ybysl eepingar oundyetshei snot
happywi thoutmeei t
her ,
"hescr at chedhi shead.
Ntombi :"Maybeshewashopi ngt hatyou' dbe
mi serablewi thouther .Per hapsseei ngyouhappy
witht heboysand. .
.andwi t
hme. .
.itget stoher.She
andmyexwer ecl earlycutf rom t hesamecl oth,"he
l
ookedatme.Li yema:" It
'strue.Whatshesai d
aboutmyst atusi strue.I '
m HI Vposi t
ive,
"hesai d
whi l
el ookingatme.It houghthewoul dsayshewas
l
yingt ost irupt roubl ebet weenus.Il ookedatt he
blackTVscr eeni nf rontofusnotknowi ngwhatt o
say." Pleasesaysomet hing,Nt ombi kayise,
"he
added.Nt ombi :" Uhm. ..Idon' tknowwhatt osay.I
thought ..
.wow, "Iwasl ostf orwor ds.Iwasshocked.
Liyema:" Doyouseemedi fferent l
ynowt hatyou
know? ,
"heasked.DoI ?Nt onbi :"Idon' tknow.I '
m
stil
ltakingi nthatyou' r
e...
uhm. ..
"Liyema:" HIV
positive.Youcansayi tsokay, "hel ookedatt he
blankTVt oo.It ur
nedt olookathi mt oseei fI"saw"
him di f
ferent l
ynow.Hewasst i
llthehandsomeman
witht heser iousexpr essionIknow.ThemanI
suspectI 'mi nl ovewith.Idon' tknowwhatbei ngin
l
ovef el
tlikeanyone.Al lIknowi sIl ovebei ngwi th
him.If eelsaf ewi thhim.Il aughwi thhi m and
perhapsevenl ovehi m.IfI'mi nl oveI '
m notsur eyet.
Idecidedt obeunder standingandasmat ureasI
possi blycoul daboutt hesi tuationathand.Ist i
ll
can'tputhi snameandHI Vi nonesent encebutI
wasnotgoi ngt obeadr amaqueenabouti t.Ntombi:
"Thankyouf ort el
li
ngmet het ruth.Youcoul dhave
l
iedandsai dshe' sjustabi tterexspr eadi ng
rumour saboutyoubutyoudi dnot .Iappr eciatethat.
I'
m notsur ewhatt osayorhowt or eact ,Liyemanot
becauseI '
m di sgustedbyyouorsomet hinglikethat.
I'
mj ustshockedandIguesssad, "hel ookedatme.
Liyema:" Iunder st
and.Idi dn'taskf ort hi s,Ntombi .
I'
veaccept edi tbecauset hereisnot hingIcando
abouti tbutIdi dnotgoandaskf orit,
"hesai di na
whi sper .Nt ombi :"Doyouknowhowyougoti t?"
Liyema:" Fr om myexwi fe.It ol
dyouabouthowshe
usedt ocheat .Shej ustdi dnotcar eenoughabout
met oatl eastusepr otectionwi ththesemen, "he
saidcal ml y.Howcoul dhebesocal m whent alking
abouti t?Nt ombi :"Ithoughti twasoneman, "Isai d
regrettingi tlater.Liyema:" Atfi
rstitwasoneman.
Shesai di twasj ustaki ss.If or
gavet hatbecause
wecanal lfallintot empt ation.Thenl aterIf oundout
shesl eptwi thhi m.Tookal ongt i
mebutIf orgave
thatbecauseshecl aimedi thappenedonce.I
shoul dhavewal kedawayt henbutIdi dn'twantt o
disappoi ntmyf ather.Thel aststrawwaswhenshe
thoughtI 'm awayonbusi ness.Wel lIwasbutcame
backear l
y.If oundheri nbedhavi ngat hr eesome
witht woot hermen.I '
veneverbeensodi sgust edi n
myl i
fe,Nt ombi .Iremembert hrowingupout side
whenIwal kedout .Toseemywi fesandwi ched
betweent womenl i
kesomecheapwhor ei sat hing
Iwoul dnotwi shmywor stenemyt osee.Af tert hatI
foundt hatshehadbeencheat i
ngwi thaf ewot hers
andper hapsevenhadmor eorgies.That '
showIgot
i
nf ected, "hel ookedatmeandt ear swer er oll
ing
downhi scheeks.Hewoul dwi pet hem of fbutmor e
woul df lowdown.Ist artedt ocryt o.Nt ombi :"I'
m
sor r
yt hatyouwer ebet rayedbysomeonet hatyou
l
ovel iket hat.Somepeopl earej ustcr uel,
"Isai dand
wipedmyt ear sof f.Imovedcl osert ohi m soIcoul d
hughi m.Hebr okedown.Nott hel it
tlesheddi ng
tearsher eandt her e.Hewasshaki ng, hegr i
pped
mesot ightl
yandmyhear tbroke.Hegothi msel f
outofmygr ipandr anupst air
s.Iwasnotsur pr ised
thathedi dthat .Liyemai samanwhodoesn' tlike
showi ngemot i
ons.Hewant stobet hest rongone
allthet ime.Iwal kedupt ohisr oom butf oundt he
doorl ocked.Ideci dednott onaghi m byshout ing
thathemustopenhi ddoor .Iwentt ocheckont he
boyswhohadnocar eint hewor l
d.Theywer e
sleepi ngpeacef ully.I'm notinfor medaboutHI V.I '
m
agi rlfr om ther uralar easandwhenIwasi nCape
TownIwasl ockedupi nthehouset ocar eabout
sucht hi ngs.Evennowt hatI'm atschool ,Inever
hadr easont or eaduponHI V.I'
m nowf acedwi th
ther eal ityofthef at herofmychi l
drenbei ngHI V
posi ti
ve.Iknowonecan' tgeti tfr om kissingsoI
wasnotwor ri
edbutt hatisasf arasi tgoes.I t
expl ainswhyhef reakedoutwhenhet houghtwe
hadunpr ot ectedsex, hef earedt hathemi ghthave
i
nf ect edme.Iwasnotsur ewhathemeantbyt hey
coul dpr eventi t.Iwentt omyr oom t or eadupon
thevi rus.Ir anoutofdat aj ustwhent hear ti
clewas
busyl oadi ng.Ideci dedt osl eeporr athert r
y.How
coul dIsl eepwhenLi yemawasnotokay?Theboys
willpi ckuponi tandbecomecr anky.Ihavet omake
sur ewet al kbef oret heywakeupbutIdon' tknow
howI 'llgeti ntohi sr oom wheni t'
sl ocked.The
sil
encei nsi dehi sroom wor riedme.Mymi nd
thoughtaboutal lkindsoft hings.It ookcomf or tin
theknowl edget hathel ovedhi ski dsandwant st o
bear oundt oseet hem gr owupsohewoul dn'tt ake
hisownl i
f e.LI YEMAIwasgoi ngt odealwi th
Zingi sa.I 'l
lf ir
stst ar tbymaki ngherl oseherj ob.I t
seemsherf athercutherof fbecauset hecarshei s
drivingi sadowngr adet owhatsheusedt odr ive
whenwewer emar r
ied.I'
llmakesur esheendsup
withnot hi ng.Iwi l
ldoal loft hatoncet he
awkwar dnessbet weenNt ombiandIhasst opped.I
hatedcr yingwhi l
eshewast her e.Ihatedt hatI
showedsuchweakness.Whatki ndofamandoes
shet hinkIam now?Ihadt oleavehert ojustcr y
alone.Iwasnotcr yingbecauseoft hepast .Iwas
cryingbecauset hewomant hatIl ovehadt ohear
suchat hingl i
ket hat .Ihat edt alkingaboutZi ngisa
toherbecauseIdon' twantt omakehert hinkmyex
stil
lhasahol donme.Atl astIdon' trepulseher
becauseshet ouchedme.Li steningt ohersof t
ly
beggi ngmet oopent hedoorbr okeme.Ihat edt hat
shewasapar toft his.Ihat edt hatshei sf orcedt o
acceptt his.I'm sur eIst andnochancewi thhernow.
Ihavel ockedmysel finmyr oom f ortheent ire
mor ning.Nt ombiknockedt ot ellmeshemade
breakf astbutIdi dnotopen.Howchi l
dishofme?I
evenhadmypi llonanempt yst omach.Imi ssed
them buti twasbet tert hatIst ayaway.Theboys
willfeelt het ensi on.Iwashungr yashel l
.Weal so
won' tbegoi ngt ochur ch.Iwasbusyonmyl aptop
whenIhear daknock.Ii gnor edwhoeveri swas.
Ntombi :"Liyemapl easej ustopenup, "shepl eaded
butIkeptqui et ."Wel lifyou'veki l
ledyoursel fat
l
eastopenbef oreyourbodyr otsandst i
nkupt he
whol ehouse, "shel aughedandIcoul dn'thelpbut
dot oo.Ist oodf rom mybedandwentt oopen.She
l
ookedatr eli
evedt oseeme.Li yema:" Howonear th
woul dIhavebeenabl etoopeni fIwasdead? "she
l
aughed." Wehaveasui cidecr isisi sourcount r
y,
don'tjokeabouti t ,
"Nt ombi :"Myj okegotyout o
open, didn'tit?Atl eastyoubr ushedyourt eeth,"she
stoodcl osert omymout htosmel l.Liyema:" Wow, "I
shookmyheadandl aughedsof tly.Iwal kedi nand
threwmysel fonmymessybed.Shef ol
lowedme
holdingat ray.Nt ombi :"Youdi dnotevencome
downf orbr eakf ast .Icookedl unch, fedt heki ds,ate
withthei rnanni esbutst illnodaddy.Her eIyour
l
unch, "shepushedt het raycl osert ome.Thef ood
washotandsmel ledamazi ng.Iat ef i
vef ullspoons
fi
rstandt ookahugebi teoft hemeat .Thiswoman
cancook.Shel ookedatmeandt hatwaswhenI
reali
zedIwasr ushi ng.Iwast oohungr ytoeat
slowly."Thel adiest oot heboysoutt ot hebackt o
play.Ithoughtwecoul duset het imet otal k,
"she
added.Li yema:" Ithoughtwet alked, "Istopped
eatingandl ookedather .Nt ombi :"Nope, your anto
yourr oom andhel dyour selfprisonerunt ilnow
remember ?"Li yema:" Idon' thaveanyt hingt osay,
Nt ombi .Isai dever yt hingl astni ght .Yousai dyou
neededt imet opr ocesst hingsandIdon' twantt o
bei nyourf acewhi leyoudot hat,"Icont i
nuedt oeat.
Nt ombi :"I'
vepr ocessedi t.You' r
eHI Vposi tive.Now
educat edmeoni t,"Il ookedather ,shedi dnoteven
blinkwhi l
el ooki ngatme.Li yema:" What ? ,
"Iasked.
Nt ombi :"Idon' tknowmuchabouti t.Itri
edt o
Googl ei tbutr anoutofdat a, "Liyema:" I'
vegotWI -
Fi,"sher aisedherr ightbr ow.Nt ombi :"Idon' tknow
yourpasswor d,"shemumbl ed.Li yema:" Since
when? "Nt ombi :"Noman, Li yema.St optryingt o
changet hesubj ect .If or
gotaboutyourWi -Fi
becauseIwast oowor ri
edaboutyouf ormybr ai
nto
functionpr oper ly.Justeducat emeont hisal ready,
"
shesai dinasul kingvoi ce.Shel ookedcut e.I
l
ear nedf or war dt oki ssher .It houghtshewoul d
pushmeawaybuti nst eadherheadmovedcl oser
tomi ne.I twasnotal ustf
ul ,passi onateki ss.Our
l
ipsj ustmetanddi dnotmove.Il ookedi nt oher
eyesandnot hingel semat tered.Shepl acedbot h
herwar m handonmycheeksandpl antedasof t
kissonmyl ips.I flovi ngsomeonef eelsl i
ket his
thenIneverwant edt hef eel i
ngt ost op.Li yema:
"Fir
st l
yIl oveyou. ..
thankyouf ornotpacki ngyour
bagsandl eavingwhenIt oldyou.Tobehonesti t'
s
whatIt houghtyou' ddobutI '
m gl adIwaswr ong.
Secondl yI'
dbemor et hanhappyt oeducat eyou
aboutHI V.I '
l
lst artbysayi ngt hatmyCD4counti s
veryhi ghandmyvi ralloadi sl ow,"Isai d.Nt ombi :
"Isthatgood? .
..
Whatdoesi tmean? "Li yema:" It
meansmyi mmunesyst em i sheal thyandt hevi rus
i
sal mostundet ect abl ebecauset het reatmenti s
wor king,"west i
lldidnotbr eakeyecont act .Herf ace
i
ssocl oset omeIcoul df eel herwar m br eat hon
myf ace.Nt ombi :"Okayt hatsoundsgood.Soyou
won' tdier i
ght ?"Ismi led.Li yema:" Shoul dIdi enow,
I'
m sur ei twillhavenot hingt odowi thmyst atus.
I'
m nott akingmyheal thf orgr ant ed, Nt ombi .Ieat
ri
ght .Inol ongergogym asmuchbutIexer cise
whenIhavet ime.I 'vest oppeddr inking.I 'vedeci ded
tomaket hebestofawor sesi tuat i
on, "Nt ombi :"
I'm
proudofyou.Idon' tthinkIwoul dhavehandl edi tas
youhave.Doyouhat eher ?..
.thisZi ngisawoman, "
Liyema:" Iusedt obutnowIf eel sor ryforher ,
especi allyafteryest erday.I '
vegott oomucht obe
gratefulf ort obehat ingonpeopl ewhoar en't
i
mpor tanti nmyl i
fe.Ihopesheget shel p.Iknowi t
soundsl iket ooper fectofananswerbutImeani t,
especi allynowt hatyou' reaski ngmequest i
ons
aboutt hevi rusbecauseyouwantt obei nformed
abouti t
.Maybemyhat ef orherwoul dhavest arted
hadyouhat edmef orbei ngHI Vpositi
ve.I '
veeven
decidedt ot owast emyt i
mer evengingonher ,
"I
saidt ruthfully.Zingi sasuddenl ydidnotmat ter.I
toldhermor eaboutHI V/ Aidsandsheaskedal otof
quest ionst hatIwast oohappyt oanswer .Ihonest l
y
didn'texpecthert obesomat ureaboutt hewhol e
thing.Nt ombi :"Haveyouhadsexwi t
hanyoneaf ter
youf oundout ?"Inodded.Li yema:" Iendedupover
thinkingt hesi tuationt houghsodi dnotr eall
yenj oy
theexper ience.If ear edt hecondom woul dbreak
butitneverdi d.Iguesst hefearofi nfecti
ngt he
otherper sonbecomest oomuch, "Ntombi :"Butt hat
hasnothappened.Whatnow?Imeanwi th
everythi ngt hathappenedbet weenus.Whatnow? "
Liyema:" That '
supt oyou.IknowwhatIwantand
thatist obewi t
hyout hanmor ethanf r
iendsandco
-parent s.Iknowyouar escar edandIcanonl y
i
magi neyourf eart obewor senowt hatyou' ve
hear daboutmyst at us,
"Nt ombi :"I
tact ual l
ydoes
notscar eme.Iwasnotwel li
nformedbutIwasnot
aboutt okeepmydi stancef rom yououtoff earof
youi nfect i
ngme.AndIt rustt heinf ormat ionyou' ve
justgi venme, "Liyema:" Sowhatnow? "Ilookedat
her .Nt ombi :"Doyoupr omi set onothur tme,
Liyema? "hereyest earedup.Li yema:" Ther eare
thingsbot hofuswi llsayanddot hatwi llmaket he
otherhur ttheot heruni nt ent i
onally.That '
show
relationshi pswor k.Butwewi l
lwor kont alki
ng
abouti tandr espect ingeachot her sfeelingby
acknowl edgi ngt hatwehur teachot her,"Iwi pedher
tear swi t
hmyf i
nger s."ButIpr omi seIwi llnever
chooset ohur tyou.Iwi llnevergooutofmywayt o
causeyoupai n.Al lIaski sthatyounotcompar e
met ohi m pl ease, "Ipleaded.Nt ombi :"Idon' tmean
todot hat.Idon' tknowwhyIdoi t.I'
lltrybyal l
meanst ost op.Ij usthavever yhighwal lsandt hey
refuget obreakdown, "Li yema:" Iwaschampi on
mount aincl imberi nhi ghschoolsoIcancl i
mb
them, "webot hl aughed.Nt ombu:" Theyar esuper
high, Li yema:" I'
m supert allsoIt akel ongst r i
des
whi lecl i
mbi ng,"sheputherf or eheadagai nstmi ne
andl aughedsof tl
y.Iknowshe' saguar dedgi rl
.I
not i
cedt hataboutherwhenwemett hef irsttime.
I'
m notapat ientmanbutI 'l
lbepat i
entf orher .
Nt ombi :"Whataboutt hedi stance? "Li yema:" You'
re
her enowandwecanmakeapl anf oryout ocome
ever yweekend.Justnotbyhi tchhi king,"Nt ombi:
"You' l
ltellmehonest lywhenyouwon' tbeabl eto
affordat icket ?"Inodded." Whataboutt he
differencei nourst atuses.Imeanyouar eaman
whocomesf rom aweal thyfami l
y.Idon' tknowyour
networ thbutIknowyoudon' tgetbr oke.Igr ewup
poorandIhaveanetwor t
hofR10, "webot h
l
aughed.It houghtbyst atusesshemeantherbei ng
negat iveandmeposi t
ivenott hisusel esscr apshe
justsai dbutI '
m notgoi ngtoj ustbr ushof fher
concer ns.Li yema:" I
'vedat edwomenf r
om
weal thierf ami li
eswhohavet rustf undst hat
requi r
est hem t oneverwor kint heirlivesbutnon
havegi venmewhatyouhad.Asi def rom t heboys,
youhavegi venmeyourpat i
ence, yourt ime, your
forgivenessevenIdi dnotdeser vei taf t
erI 've
treatedyoul ikecrap.Tr uthisI 'mt heonewho
doesn' tdeser veyouyether eyouar ei nmyhouse
maki ngi tf eelli
kehome, "Nt ombi:"ButIdon' twant
toembar rassyou.You' r
eal waysi nyoursui tsand
thereI '
llbewi t
hmyj eansandcol our f
ultopswi t
h
fl
ipflops, "Ilaughed.Li yema:" Il
ovehowyourj eans
fi
tonyou, woman, "shebl ushed.Nt ombi :"Ihave
stret
chmar ks,"Li
yema:" Ar eyour eallygoingt odi sh
outal ltheexcusesi nt hebook?I 'dhavebeen
shockedhadyounothadany.Thatwoul dhave
beenpur ewi t
chcr aftaf t
eryouhadt ocar rysomany
peopl ei nyourwomb, "shel aughedoutl oud.Nt ombi:
"Wannaseet hem?Theyl ooklikel i
kenoodl essoI
j
ustwantt oprepar eyoubecauseIknowyoudon' t
eatnoodl es,"webot hl aughed.Li yema:" Letmesee,
maybeI '
llbeaf anofnoodl esafrerI'veseenyour s,
"
shel i
ftedhert opupt or evealt hewhi temar kson
herbel ly.Theyar eal ltherebecauseshewasgi vi
ng
l
ifetomyboys.Whywoul dIhat eanypar toft he
bodyt hatgavemyboysl i
fe?Inf actIwant edt osee
mor e.Nt ombii ssuchacar efr
eeper son.I'venever
hadawomanof fertoshowmeherbodyf l
awsbutI
l
ovedi tandher .Iputt het r
aybet weenusasi deand
grabbedhert hight opul lhert ome.Il aidheronher
backandki ssedher .Iwentdownt oki ssher
noodl est oo.Li yema:" Ithi nknoodl eshavej ust
becomemyf avor it
ef ood, "shel aughed." Il oveyour
smi le,"Ntombi :"Stopbei ngcheesy.Sowe' r edoi ng
this? "
,hewr appedherl egsar oundmywai st .Igot
turnedont houghwewer ebot hf ull
ycl ot hed.
Liyema:" Sex? "Nt ombi :" No, "shebl ushed." Imeant
giveusat ry.Getyourmi ndoutoft hegut ter ,
"
Liyema:" Ican' twhenyouri nnert hi
ghsf eelso
war m, "shecover edherf acewi t
hherhandsand
l
aughed.Howcanamanl ikebesol uckyt ohave
suchawoman?" Yeahlt hinkwe' redoi ngt his,"she
l
ookedatme.Nt ombi :"It houghtyousai dyoucan
dot hewhol enosext hi ngsyet ..
."Liyema:Idi dn't
haveabeaut i
fulwomant ot empmebackt henso
i
t'llbeabi tdifficult
,"shebr okeeyecont act .Nt ombi:
"Ifyoucan' tdoi t
,I'
llunder st and.It'
st oomucht o
askf r
om aman, "Shepl ayedwi t
ht hecol larofmyT-
shi r
t.Icoul df eel howherhear twasr acingagai nst
mychest .Li yema:" Wai tingwon' tkillmeandI '
m not
planni ngonwai t
ingl ongbecauseIdon' tthi nkI
wantt ocal lyoumygi rlfriendf orlong, "Nt ombi :
"Oh, "shesai dqui etl
y." Iunder stand"Li yema:" ThatI
havei ntentionsofmaki ngyoumywi fe? ",
she
l
ookedatme." Iwantt ogr owol dwi t
hyou.Iwantt o
bui l
dal if
ewi thyou.Youl ovemyboysasmuchasI
do.Andyouar est illhereaf terfindi ngoutaboutmy
status.Ibel ievet hosear eenoughr easonsf ormet o
wantt obeahusbandonceagai n, ther ightreasons.
Andyeahal sobecauseI '
m ahor nyChr ist
ian,
"we
l
aughed.Nt ombi :"
Youneedt ot akemeoutona
dat efir
stbef or ewecant al kmar riage.Fourki ds
l
at erbutnof irstdat e,Ndl ovu? ",shej oked.Li yema:
"Fourki dsandst il
lnodamndat e?I 'mt hescum of
theear th.Iknockedyouupf ourt imesbutst i
llhave
nott akenyououtonadat e?"shel aughed.Nt ombi :
"Maybei fwedi dnotspenddomucht imei nbedl ike
wear enowhavi ngsexl iker abbi tswewoul dhave
goneont hedat e,"shej okedandI '
veneverl aughed
somuch." Let '
sgetupbef or eyouknockmeupf or
thef i
fthtime, "wel aughed.Li yema:" Il oveyou, "she
didn'tanswer" Youdon' thavet osayi tback.Letme
takeyouont hatdat et henwewi lltakei tfrom
there,"Ntombi :"Iloveyout oo,Li yema.Idon' tneed
adat et omakemesayi t,
"sheki ssedme.Li yema:
"Sowhenwedogett ot henextl evelofour
relationshi psomeday, doyout hinkyou' l
lbe
comf or t
ableenought oenj oyitwi thoutf ear ?"she
l
ookedatme.Nt ombi :"Itr
ustt hatyou.Ij ust .
..never
mi nd, "Liyema:" Tellme.I '
vecomesof arwi thour
communi cati
onsot ellme, "Ntombi :"
Idon' treally
l
ikedoi ngi t,
"Liyema:" Sex? "
,shenodded." Babe,
you' veonl yhadi twithoneman.Amant hatdi dn't
evenknowhowt oloveyou.I 'm notsayi ngI 'mt he
bestbutI '
m nott oobad.Letuswor ryaboutt hat
whenwecr ossthatbr i
dge, yeah? "shenodded.
Ther ewasaknockandt henoi seatt hedoor .Wel et
whoeverwasatt hedoori n.Thenannycamewi t
h
theboyssayi ngtheywer ecr yingf orus.Wel et
them i nandsoonmybedbecameapl aygr ound.
Coul dn' ttheyhavepl ayedout sidemor e?Al lI
want edwast i
mewi tht heirmom.Ij ustwant edt o
kissheraf ewmor et imes.Ican' tbelievet hatshe
agr eedt ogiveusachance.If eell i
kesendi ngZi ngi
thankyouf lower sbecauseIdi dn'tknowhowI 'dtell
Nt ombiaboutmyst atus.Nowsheknowsandshei s
notf azed.I 'm notsur ehowshewi l
lbewhenwedo
gett omakel ovesomeday.Webot hmi ghtbet oo
afraidt odoi tbutthat 'swor ri
esf oranot herday.For
nowIwantt otakeheronourf irstdate.I '
m still
shockedbyhowshehandl edthenewsaboutmy
status.She' sbeensomat ureabouti t.Ihat ethat
shewi llhavet ogobackt oPor tEli
zabet h.Iwanther
nextt ome.Iwantt ohol dherwhi lewef allasleep.
Thenosexwi l
lbeachal lengebutI '
vegott obe
strong.Shet hi
nksI 'mj okingaboutwant ingt o
mar ryher.I '
m notandI 'm event hinkingofpayi ng
l
obol ainsteadofdamagesbutshedoesn' tseem to
wantmar riageyet .I'
llwaitunt i
lshei s.Isnapped
outofmydeept hought swhenIhear dsomet hing
tear,it
'smysheet .Suddenl ynoone, including
mommyknewwhoi twas.Iscol dedatal lfourof
them andt heycried.Iunder standt hatNt ombican' t
best ri
ctbutoneofushast obeandI 'veaccept ed
thatI'l
lbet hebadpar entwhi l
eshei st hegood
whi l
e.Thesear eboys, wecan' tbot hbesof t.When
theyar enaught ysomeonehast oputt hem inl i
ne.I
don'twantki dswhot hinkt heycandobadandget
awaywi thit.Thesi xofusgotupt ogosnackand
havesomeTVt ime.Nt ombiandIst i
llhavepl entyto
tal
kaboutandknowi ngthatI '
llhavet oseeher
boar dapl aneinaf ewhour scrushedme.I '
m sur e
nowI
'
llcr
ywi
tht
heboys.
[
03/
28,
17:
13]Lynne:FORTY

NTOMBI

Idon'tknowwheni thappened.Ican' tpointoutthe

dayIst art
edt of allforhi m.Myf eeli
ngswer ehiding
outoff ear.Buti tseemsmyf eelingssi l
entlygrew
anyway.IguessI '
ll washopi ngf orhimt obet he
onet omaket hef irstmove.Whenhemadehi s
feeli
ngscl ear,i
twasast houghmi net hatwer e
cagedi nal it
tl
edar kpr isonoff earsuddenl ysprung
free.Myf eeli
ngssuddenl yscreamedoutl oudandI
hadnochoi cebutt oyi eldt othem.Imi ghtnotknow
wheni thappenedbutI '
m cer tai
nt hatI'm madl yin
l
ovewi thLi yemaEl ephant .Myt all
,darkkni ghtin
shiningar mour .Leavi ngCapeTownwassuddenl y
thehar destt hingever .Bef oremyf l
ighthemade
surei twoul dbedi fficultformet owantt ogoback
toPE.Hebookedat icketf orthenextweekandi t
hasbeent helongestweekofmyl if
e.Imi ssedmy
boys, allfiveoft hem.Icont inuedwi ththevi deo
callstot heboys.I tseemst hei rvocabul arygr ows
onadai lybasi s.TheycansayMamaandTanow.
Aftertheygot obedLi yemawoul dvi deocal lme
andwe' dhaveourt ime.Wehavebeendat i
ngf or
almostaweeknowandIhat edt hedi st
ance.I twas
FridayandIhadal atefli
ght .Ijustcoul dn'twai tto
getont hatplane.Nt ombi :"Dudy, wher eismyr ed
dress.Thati smostdecentdr essandsi ncewe' re
goingonourf irstdat etomor row, I'
llweart hat ,"I
turnedt hecl othesonmybedupsi dedownt ryingt o
fi
ndt hedr ess.Dudu:" Youmeant heoneyoumade
sureyoupackedf irst?It'
si nt her et rustme, "she
l
aughed." Helpmezi pt hi
st hi ngt hen.Ican' tmi ss
myf l
i
ght ,"Isatonmybagt opcl osei t.Xol i
:" Ohmy
wor d,Nt ombu.I fyoudon' tcal mt hehel ldon' tI'll
scream.I t'
sstillear l
y.Heredr inkt his,"shegaveme
herwi nef ill
edgl ass.Nt ombi :"I'
m soner vous.Look
guysI '
m shaki ng.Whatdopeopl eonf i
rstdat es
do? "
,Ibr eathedi nandout .Xol i:"DoesLi yemaknow
howdr amat icyoucanbe? "wel aughed.Dudu:" But
seriouslyt hough.Youhavef ourki dswi ththi sman.
You'vespentsever alnightathi shousebutnow
you'r efreakedoutf oraf i
rstdat e?"Nt ombi:"You
don'tunder stand, Dudu.Wedi dn'tconcei vethe
boysnat urally.Theboyscamef irstandt henour
feelingsf oreachot hersecond.Mostpeopl est art
withf eel i
ngsandt henbabi es.Gi vemet hewi ne,
Xol i
.If eellikeIneedt het oil
ett oo, "theylaughedso
much.Dudu:" No, thel astthi ngyouwanti st okiss
him wi thal coholbr eath,"Xol i:"Sheneedsi tclear l
y.
Butser iousl yNt ombiar eyour eal l
yner vousor
act i
ng? "sheasked.Ihel doutmyshaki nghandsf or
them bot ht osee.I '
m ner vousandexci tedandI '
m
l
et ti
ngi tgett hebet terofme.Dudu:" Drinkthewi ne,
fri
end.Damnyourbabydaddyhasyouhooked.
Whatl ovepot i
ondoeshef eedyou, "Ntombi:"Idon' t
knowbutIdon' twanthi mt ost opf eedingittome, "I
smi led.Xol i:"Amen! "shecl appedherhandsoncei n
disbel i
ef ."Her e,Ntombit akeabi gsi p,gir
l,
"she
gavemehetgl ass.Itooki tandt ookt hebigsi p.She
alsogavememi ntsf orthesmel l
.Dudu:" Ntombi ?
Mi ssnomanf orme? ,"theyl aughed.Nt ombi:"This
manj ustcameatmewhenIl eastexpect edi t
.Like
i
ts...i
t'slike..."Xoli:"I
'l
lgogett heent ir
ebot t
le,
"she
wentt ot heki tchen.Dudu:" Ididnotwantt osayt his
i
nf r
ontofXol ibutNhl anhl aandIar edat ing,"she
conf essedandIcongr atul
atedher .Shehasbeen
crushi ngont hatguysi ncef orever .Myf riendandI
arei nlove.Ourhai rcut sattractedposi tivevibes
i
nt oourl i
ves.Shet oldmeabouti tandt hespar kin
hereyes.Butl ovet hough!Ideci dednott odrink
mor ewi ne.Idon' twantt obedr unkwhenIgett o
CapeTown.I '
vemanagedt okeepmyschoolwor k
upt odat eandmymar ksar egoodt oo.Lucki lyI
haveamanwhoencour agesme.It alkasi fI've
beenwi t
hLi yemaf oryear sbuti thasnotevenbeen
amont h.Hewant smet ohavet hatdegr eeasmuch
asIdo.Li yemacal l
edt ocheckonmebef oremy
fl
ight .Thismani sgoi ngonmakemyhear trace
unt i
lIendupi nER.Myf ri
endscamewi thmet osay
goodbyeevent houghI 'l
lbebacki naf ewdays.I t
feltsoIwasont hef l
ightfordays.Ther eisone
thingI '
ver ealizedaboutmysel fandt hat'st hatthe
feelemot ionsdeepl y.WhenI 'm sadIf eeli tdeeply
andnowI '
m happyandIf eelitrightdownt othe
bone.IknowsomesayIshoul dleaver oom f or
disappoi nt mentbuthappi nessi ssomet hingf orei
gn
tomeandnowt hatI '
vef oundi tnotj usti nLiyema
andt hekidsbutl at el
yi nmysel ft oo.I 'vebecome
kindert omysel f
.Shoul dLi yemadeci dea
relationshi pissomet hinghedoesnotwant
anymor eI'
llbecr ushedbutI 'llstil
lbehappy.Hi s
statushonest lydoesnotbot herme.Shoul dwe
havesexsomedayIknowhewi llpr otectme.It rust
him.If oundhi m wai tingf ormeatt heai r
por t.I
l
iterallydr oppedever yt hingandf oundmysel f
jumpi ngonhi mf orahug.I twast oomuch, Iknow
butIwasnott hi
nking.Peopl ewer est arri
ngandI
thoughthe' dhaveaf ewwor dsaboutmybehavi or
buti nsteadhesmi ledandki ssedme.Wi llIevergi ve
him peace?Het ookmybagsandwentt othecar .
Liyema:" CanIpl easehaveyourpr operki ss? "he
l
ookedatme.Il eanedf orwardandki ssedhi m.I'
ve
mi ssedhi sl ipssomuch.Theki ssl ast edf oral ong
whi l
e.Idi dn' twanthi dl i
pst opar tfrom mi nebuti t
hadt ohappen." I'vemi ssedyou, "hesmi l
ed.Nt ombi:
"I'
vemi ssedyout oo, baby.Icoul dn' twai tfort he
weekt obeoversoI '
dhaveher e,"Il ookedathi m but
hej ustsmi ledandkeptqui et."Am Ibei ngt oo
much? "Ilookeddown.Li yema:" Theweekf eltl
ong
tomet oo.Ifi twer eupt omeyou' dl iveher e.You' re
nott oomuch.Don' tevert hinkt hatagai npl ease,"
webot hsmi l
ed.Heannouncedt hathehasa
surpr isef ormeandt hathesentt heboyst ohi s
parent s.Iwasact uall
ynotupsetabouti tbecauseI
l
ovedt het houghtofusspendi ngt i
meal one
together .Wedr ovet ohi shouseandhadt oshower
quickl ysogogetmysur pri
se.Igotdr essedi nmy
"decent "dresst hatwoul dlookgoodal ongsi dehis
wellf ittedsui t
s.Onl ytoseehi m wear i
ngaj eanand
T-shirt .Itwasawar m nightsoIwentt ochangei nto
ashor tbl ackjumpsui tandputonsomeheel s.I
want edt omakesomeef fort.Het ookmet oaver y
nicer est aurant.Ilikedt hatithadacasualf eelingto
i
t.Idon' twantt osi tinoneoft hosest i
ffpl aces.We
order edandcoul dnotkeepourhandsof feach
other .Thef oodwasgr eatandt hecompanyeven
better .Ourmomentwasi nterr
upt edbysomeone
call
ingmynameoutl oudl y.Webot hlookedupand
Mr sBst oodnextt ous.Mr sB:" Whati st his,
Ntombi ?"sheaskedi nast ernvoi ce.Idi dnotknow
whatt osay." I
shemaki ngyouyoudot hissoyou' d
seeyourchi ldren?".Liyemawant edtosay
somet hi ngbutIgavehi m asubt l
esi gnalnott o.
Nt ombi :"I
'
m notbei ngf orcedt odoanyt hing,Ma.
I'
m her ebecauseIwantt obe, "shel ookedatmel i
ke
I'
m cr azy.Mr sB:" Notsol ongagohekeptyouaway
from yourchi ldren.Youwer ecr yi
ngyoureyesout
andevenhadsui cidalthought .Mybaby, youdon' t
havet oal l
owt hesement ouseandcont rolyou.
Comehomewi t
hme, I
'
llhel pyouf ightforyour
babi es,"Nt ombi :"Iappr eciatet hat,Mr sBbuti t
won' tbenecessar y,"Ilookedather ."Liyema. ..
Liyemai snotBonga.I '
m notbei ngcont roll
ednor
used, "Il ookedatLi yema.Wesmi ledateachot her.
Mr sB:" Doyourgr andpar entsknowyou' r
eher ewith
him? "Nt ombi :"Idon' tthinkt heywi l
lhaveapr obl
em
wi thmebei ngwi t
ht hef at herofmychi ldren,Ma,"I
sai dint hemosthumbl ewayIcoul d.Mr sB:" Are
yousur eyou' renotf or
cedt osl eepwi thhi mt osee
them?Iknowhowmencant akeadvant age,"she
askedsof tl
yandsat .Nt ombi :"Uhm I '
vebeen
visiti
ngf orawhi l
enow, Ma.I 'm sorryIdi dnott ell
you.Ij ustdi dn'twantsomeoneel semaki ng
deci sionsf orme.I '
vebeenhappy, Ma.Li yemaandI
spokeandputt hepastbehi ndus.He' sal l
owedme
l
imi tlessaccesst ot heboys.Hehasevenbeen
payi ngt ogetmeher etoseet hem.Notoncewer e
sexualf avour sdemandedf r
om me.Wehave
not ..
.wehavenotevent akenourr elati
onshi ptoa
sexuall evel .LikeI '
vesai d,Liyemai snotBonga, "
shel ookedatmeandt henathi m.Mr sB:" Iwi l
lnot
doanyt hingonl ybecauseofwhatyousai d.Li yema,
i
fyouhur tmychi l
dagai n,Iswearyou' l
lregr etit.I
'm
sur eyouknowbynowt hatIcanuseagun, "she
poi ntedathi m.Li yema:" Iwoul dof fermysel ftoyou
onasi lverpl attershoul dIbr eakherhear t
,Mr sBam.
Ihavenoi ntent ionofhur t
ingher .I'
m sor ryf orall
thepai nI '
veputhert hroughbecauseIwast oo
angr yandf ill
edwi t
hpr ide.I'
vecomet omysenses
andIknowshei sani mpor tantpar toft hechi ldren's
l
ives.Shei sinmi neto,"hespoket oMr sBbutwas
l
ooki ngatme.Mr sB:" OkayIbel ieveyouandIsee
mybabyi shappy.Justdon' tvisittheci tyandnot
comet oseeme.Wi t
hZi m mar ri
edI 'm allalone.I '
d
l
ovet ohaveyouandyourboysover .Whatki ndofa
grandmawoul dIbei fIdon' tevenseet hem? ,
"
Nt ombi :"Wewi llvi si
tonSundayaf teryou' vecome
from chur ch.Ipr omi se,"shesmi l
ed.Mr sB:" Why
notcomet ochur chwi thme, allofyou? "Nt ombi :
"We'renotr eadyt obeseent ogetheri npubl i
cyet ,"
Liyema:" Idon' tmi nd.Imeanmostoft hepeopl e
from mychur chhavemetyouatt hepar t
y.They
knowyou' reapar tofmyl i
fe.Theydon' tknowhow
exactlybutt heyknowyouandwhoyouar etot he
boys,"Nt ombi :"I'
m notr eall
yr eadyf ort hat.Idon' t
mi ndgoi ngt ochur chbecauseIhavenotbeensi nce
I'
vebeent ravelingal mostever yweekendbutI '
m
notreadyf orthequest ionsf r om thosewhoknow
you,"Isai dsof tl
y.Mr sB:" Iunder st and, mybaby.
Letmenotspoi lyourni ghtmor e.Cal lme.I 'l
lsee
youaf terchur chf orl unch.You' rewel comet oo,
Liyema, "Liyema:" Thanks, Mr sBam, "hesmi led.She
kissedmycheek, gavemeahugandl eft.Ntombi :"I
shouldhavet oldheraboutmecomi ngher eal ong
ti
meago.Shehasdonesomuchf orme, "Liyema:
"Someonedoi ngt hi ngsf oryoudoesnotmeanyou
owet hem yourl ife.Sheknowsyou' reher eand
you'l
lspendt i
mewi thherSunday, "Nt ombi :"You're
notmadatmef ornotwant ingt ogowi thyout o
churchyet ?"heki ssedme.Li yema:" Notatal l.Now
l
et '
senj oyther estofourni ght .It
'sget t
inglatet oo.I
thinkweshoul dgohome.Iwantt oki ssyouwi thout
havingt ocar eaboutwhoi sl ooki ng,"Iblushed.He
sett
ledt hebi llandwewenthome.Iwasexhaust ed,
webot hwer e.Wecamehomeaf ter11pm soi twas
toolatet ocal ltheboys.Igoti nt omypyj amasand
j
oinedhi mi nhi sbed.Wewer eplayi ngwi t
hf i
reby
temptingour selves.Iwasl ayingont opofhi m.I
l
ovedhavi nghi sar msar oundme.Li yema:" Baby,"I
l
ookedup." Thankyouf ort el li
ngMr sBam t hatI'm
nothim.I tf eltgoodt oheari t,
"Nt ombi :"Youdon' t
seemet hr ought hesamel ensesyouvi ewZi ngi
sa
i
n.You' vehavenotsuspendedmeofcheat i
ngon
moment swhenIcoul dn'tansweryourcal ls.WhenI
tel
lyouI 'm havi ngext ral essonwi t
hMi ke,you've
neveroncet ol dmet ost opbecauseyouf ear edI'
d
cheat.Soi twasnotr i
ghtf ormet ocompar eyout o
Bonga.Idon' twantt ost ar tt hisof fbasedont he
foundationoft her elati
onshi pwi thBonga.Iwantus
tobuildourownf oundat ion, ast rongone, "Li yema:
"It
hinki talreadyi s.We' vecomeal ongway.We
communi cat ebet ternow.Wet rustoneanot hersoI
thi
nkwe' redoi ngwel l
,
"Nt ombi :"Iloveyou, "he
smiled.Li yema:" Iloveyou, sthandwasam.Ist i
ll
can'tbelieveI 'minar elationshi p.If eelli
kea
teenageragai n,"webot hl aughed.Nt ombi :"Il
ove
beingi nyourar ms.If eel safe,"Li yema:" Because
youhavesaf e,"Weki ssedandki ssedunt i
lwehad
tost opbecauseIkeptonst oppi nghi m.Ithoughthe
woul dsayi t
sbestIsl eepi ntheot herroom butpoor
mandi dn' t.Wet alkedunt i
l3am t henextday.We' ve
spokenaboutever ythi ngundert hesun.I twasl ike
talkingt omybestf riend.Ican' tbel i
eveIwasso
ner voust oseehi m ear l
ieron.It hi nkallthe
but terf
liesi nmyst omachar ecausi ngit.Tof al
l
asleepi nhi sar mswast hebestf eel i
ngi nthewor ld.
LIYEMAIhavenotspokent oNt ombiabout
mar ri
ageyet ,notser i
ousl yanyway.Shest illt
hinks
I'
mj okingbutI 'l
lgi vei tmor etime.Ical ledher
grandf at hersoIcandor ightbyhi schildbypayi ng
fordamages.If ear edMr sBam woul dmakeher
changehermi ndaboutusbutmywomanhel dit
down.Shehadmybackandi tfeltgr eat.Sheasked
tohavet heboysgoseeherf at herand
grandpar ent sandwewi llmakeapl ansoon.Iwant
them t oknowhersi deoft hefami lytoo.Lastni ght
wasdi fficult.Thest eamyki ssesmademewantt o
riphercl othesof fandhavemywaywi thherbutI
respectthati t'
snotwhatshewant s.I'l
lhavet oget
usedt ocol dshower s.Iopenedmyeyesandwas
greetedbyhersl eepi ngf ace.Iki ssedhersof tlips
beforegoi ngt obr ushmyt eeth.Iwentdownst ai r
s
togomakeherbr eakf ast.WhenIt ookt hetrayupI
foundheronherwaygoi ngdownst airs.Liyema: "Go
backup.Thi sissupposedt obebr eakf astinbed, "I
ordered.Nt ombi :"ButI 'm upal r
eady,"shepr otest ed.
Liyema:"Icanseet hatandt hat'swhyI '
m saygo
backup.Gi veamanachancet ober omant ic,"she
l
aughed.Shel ovesl aughi ngal ot.IthinkBandi le
takesafterher .Nt ombi :"Okay, okay,"sher anback
totheroom.Icoul dn' tr unaf terher .WhenIgott o
theroom shepr etendedt ohavej ustwokenupand
actedsur prisedt oseet hebr eakf astinbed.I
l
aughed.I 'veneverl aughedasmuchasIdosi nce
she'scomebacki ntomyl ife.Weenj oyedt hef ood
andofcour seshar edki ssesi nbet ween.Theal arm
wentof ftor emindmet otakemyt reatment .She
hadal otofquest ionsabouti t.Most l
ywor ri
ed
aboutthesi deeffect sbutIt oldherIdon' tgetany
asmuchasbef ore.I tf eelssogoodt ot aket hem i n
frontofher .ShesaysImakeherf eelsaf ebutshe
makesmef eelsaf etoo.Idon' thavet osneak
aroundwhenIt akemyt reatmentandeveni fIl eave
them l yingar oundIwon' thavet owor ry.Wet ooka
showersepar atel ybeforegoi ngoutt oenj oyt he
war m sun.Mmasai dshe' lll
ookaf tertheki dsonl yi
f
wepr omi set ost ayf ordi
nner .Nt ombiaskedi fmy
dadwi llbet her e.I '
m yett otalktoherabouther
beingi nt i
mi datedbyhi m.Ican' thaveherf eelthat
way.Nt ombimi ghthavebeeni nCapeTownf or
year sbef or
emovi ngbutshedi dn'tknowi twel lsoI
tookmyl adyonat ouroft hemot herci ty.Wehad
i
cecr eam andenj oyedbei ngchildlessl overseveni f
i
twasf oraf ewhour s.Whi leonourwal kto
nowher especi fic, ayoungwhi t
ecoupl eappr oached
us.Wet houghtt heywant edust ot akepi cturesof
them.Man:" Hi,I'm Jakeandt hisisLucy.Wehave
anappoi ntmentwi ththemar ri
ageof fi
cialinthi s
building,"hepoi ntedatabui l
dingbehi ndus." Our
witnesscoul dnotmakei tsowewer ewonder ingif
you'dbeourwi t
ness?Pl easewehavet heringsbut
nowi tness,"headded.Il ookedatNt ombi .She
smi l
edandnodded.Li yema:" Okay, Iguesswe' re
goingt oaweddi ng,"Jake:" Thanks, sir,
"heshook
myhand." Thankyout oo, mam, "hel ookedat
Ntombi .Hi sbr idedi dnotl ookatexci tedashei s.
Theyl edt hewayi nandwef oll
owedbehi nd.Iwas
aboutt obeawi t
nesst oast r anger '
sweddi ng.How
exciting.Whenwegoti nsidewemetaChr i
st i
an
mar riageof fi
cial.Theyevenmadesomeef fortto
decor atet hepl acefort hecoupl e.I tseemst he
offi
ciali sagoodf ri
endoft hecoupl esoi twoul d
explai nwhyef fortwasmade.Nt ombil ookedso
excitedonewoul dswearwewer eatagr and
weddi ngandpar tofthebr idalandgr oom par ty.
Wel lweki ndaar ebuti t'sdifferent .Thecer emony
started.Jakewassmi l
ingf rom eart oearbutIst il
l
feellikehi sl adywast ooner vous.Wheni tcamet o
exchangi ngvowsLucyf roze.Weal lf r
ozewhi le
waitingf orhert ospeak.Lucy:" Ican' tdot his.I '
m
sorry.I '
m notr eadyf ort his.Wear er ushingi ntoi t
,"
shesai dinashakyvoi ce.Jake:" We' vebeen
togetherf orni neyear s, Luc.Whatdoyoumeanby
rushing? "heasked.If eltli
kewewer eapar tofa
movi eshoot .Lucy: "That '
st het hings.I '
veonl ybeen
withyou.Idon' tknowwhati t'
sliket obewi t h
someoneel se.Idon' tf eelthespar kanymor e.It hi
nk
weshoul dbewi t
hot herpeopl eandt hencomeback
toseei fit'
swhatwewant .I'
m sor r
y,"shesai d
befor erunni ngout .Nt ombibei nganaf fectionat e
personwentt oconsol eJakewhowasnowcr ying
l
ikeal it
tleboy.Ist oodawkwar dly.Ij ustdon' tknow
howt or eactwhenpeopl ecr y.Myboysar et heonl y
peopl eIcancomf or twhencr yingandI 'velear ned
howt owi thNt ombi .Poorguyt ur nedpi nkduet o
crying.Hef inall
ycal meddownaf terawhi le.He
apol ogizedf orwast i
ngourt imeandof feredt opay
foradat ef orus.Ithi nkbot hNt ombiandIf elttoo
badf orhimt otakesomet hingf rom hi m.Il ookedat
Ntombibei ngcar i
ngt oacompl etest ranger .Had
shenotbeenwi thme, Iwoul dnotevenhadagr eed
tobeawi tness.Ideci dedt hatIdon' twantt owai t.I
wantt her estofourl i
vest oget hert ost artnow.
Liyema:" Ther eissomet hingyoucoul ddof orus,
Jake, "Isai dtohi m whi lelooki ngatNt ombi .She
gavemet he"reall
ynow? "lookper hapst hinkingI '
l
l
acceptJake' smoney." Iwoul dl i
kef oryout obemy
witnesswhenImar ryt hatbeaut i
fulwomanover
there,"IlookedatNt ombiwhosechestwasmovi ng
upanddownr apidly.Nt ombi :"What ?,"sheasked
qui etl
yi nashaki ngvoice.Li yema:" Mar ryme
please, "I'mf eeli
ngj ustaspet ri
fiedasshel ooks.
Ntombi :"Wehaveonl ybeent ogetherforaweek,
Liyema.Haveyoul ostit?"Ismi l
edandwal ked
closert oher ."
Baby, "shesai dsof t
ly.Liyema:
"You' vebeent hinkingthatI '
mj okingwheneverIt ell
yout hatIwantt ogetmar r
iedtoyoubutI '
m not .I '
ve
justwi tnessedacoupl ewhohasbeent oget herf or
year sandwhocl earlyloveeachot herbr eakupal l
becauset heot herwant st oexploreot herpeopl e.I
don' twantt obewi thotherpeopl e,Ntombi .I'
vebeen
withot herpeopl eandt hi sisitforme.You' rei tfor
me.Doyouwantt obewi thotherpeopl e? "she
shookherheadandhert earsfellf
reely."Idon' t
either ,
"Iwi pedhert ear
sof f
.Offici
al:I'
m sor r yfor
i
nt errupt i
ng.Iwoul djustl i
ketoaddt owhatt helady
saidaboutonl ybei ngtoget herforaweek.I '
vebeen
mar r
yingcoupl esf orover30year s.I'
vehadcoupl e
whower etogetherf ormanyyearmar ryonl yt o
divor ceaf terayearandI '
vehadcoupl eswhower e
toget herf orjustaf ewmont hsorweeksevenwho
sentmemessagessayi ngtheyar ecelebr atingover
twent yyear sofmar ri
age.Thi sisamanwhoi s
readyt oset tl
edown.Hehasf oundhi sbestf r
iend.I
canseei ti nhi seyes.I '
m notsayi ngagr eetomar r
y
him becausehei sr eady.Youmustbot hwantt his.
I'
m sayi ngdon' tl ett imedi ctat et oyoui fyou're
readyornot .Wel i
vei nat imewher et i
mei sa
preciousgi ft.Thati sal l,
"t heel der l
ymansai d.I
l
ookedatNt ombi .Nt ombi :"I
'llbecomi ngi nt
ot he
mar riagewi thnot hing, Liyema, "Liyema:" That's
whatpar tner shipi sabout .Wecar ryeachot her ,
baby.Youcanf inishschoolsheevendoyour
honour saf terthatIwon' tmi nd, "Iheldhercl ose.
Of f
icial:" Haveyouseenhi m angr y?I'm nott alking
aboutbr eaki nghi sf avour itecupangr y.I'mt al
ki ng
abouthi sr age, unf ilt
er edanger ?"Ntombi :Yes, sir,
"
Of f
icial:" Andyoucanst illseeaf uturewi thhim
aftert hat ?"Nt ombi :" Yes, si r
,"shecr iedmor e.I
kissedherf orehead.Of f
ici al
:" Why? "Nt ombi :
"Becauseevendur ingt hemoment swhenhewas
angr y, Idi dnotf earhi m.Hewoul dapol ogizeand
provei ttomewi thchangedbehavi or,"shesni ffed.
Of f
icial:" Andyou, son?Haveyouseenherangr y? "
Liyema:" Idon' tthi nkshehasr agei nsideofheror
maybeshehashadnor easont obr i
ngi tout.Thi ng
i
sI '
vegi venherpl ent yofr easont omakemef eel
thefullextentofherr agebuti tneverhappened.I '
ve
seenherupset ,angr yandsadbutshedoesn' tl ose
hercool .IfshedoesonedayI 'dhavedone
somet hingt odeser vei t
.Andwhenshewr ongshe
i
sabl etohumbl eher selfandapol ogi zetoo.It hi nk
that'
swhywehavebeenabl et ogett hr oughal lt hat
we'vegonet hrough.Wemi ghtonl ybet oget herf ora
weekbutourst or yr unswaydeeper .Idon' tsee
myselfdoi ngl if
ewi thsomeoneel seeveragai n.I
wasmar r
iedbef or ebutt hisi si t
.Iloveyou, "she
cri
ed.Theel dergaveherat i
ssue.Shesai dshe
neededt ositdown.Thet hreeofuswai tedunt ilshe
wasdonecr ying.Shedi dn' tevenwantmet ot ouch
her.Nt ombi :"You' llreall
ynott rytost opmef rom
fi
nishingschool ?"Li yema:" Never ,baby.Al lI'l
laski s
thatyouper hapsmovecl oserassoonasi ts
possible.I'm yourbi ggestf an, Ntombi .Iwillbe
therewi thourboysonyourgr aduat ionday
cheeringl i
kenoot her .I
'
llallowyout i
meal oneat
thehousesot heboyswon' tdi sturbyouwhi leyou
study.Byi nvest ingi nyou, Ii nvestinourchi l
dr en,"
shecr i
edmor e.Shehasmor et earsthanIt hought .
Nt ombi :"Idon' twantt obewi thsomeoneel seei ther.
Iwantt hist obei tformet oo.Idon' twantanot her
womanr ai singt heki dswi thyou.Idon' twantyout o
bewi thanot herwomanei ther .Youpr omi seI 'l
lbe
saf ewi t
hyou, Liyema, "Liyema:" Always, Ipromi se,"
Jake:Ohcomeonj ustdoi talr eady.Ihear dki dsi n
ther eandt heyouroneweekr el ationshipgi vemy
nineyearonesomeshame.Af terseei ngt hisI 'm not
set tl
ingunt i
lfindwhatIseeandf eelbet weenyou
two.I '
llbehonour edtobeawi t ness, man.Af terthis
I'
llpayf orani cecosydi nnerf oryout wo,"hesai d.
Notl ooki ngl ikeamanwhohadj usthadhi shear t
broken.Li yema:" Arewedoi ngt his? "shewal ked
closert ome.Hereyeswer er ed.Nt ombi :" Our
fami lieswi llkillusbutmyhear twant sthi s.Let 'sdo
this,"Il i
ftedherupi nahug.Iaskedt heof f
icialand
hesai dIneedn' tevenask.Nt ombiaskedf ort he
bat hroom t ogogether selfpr oper .Shecameback
l
ooki ngbet tert hanshedi dwhi lecr ying.Myhear t
feltlikei twasgoi ngtocomeoutofmymout h.The
cer emonyst arted.Icoul dn' tbel ievet hatI ,Liyema
Elephantwast akingsuchabi gst epwi thout
thinki ngabouti tmuch.Jakegavehi sr i
ngsf orust o
bor r
ow.Theywer eblessed.Wesai dourvows, put
ont her i
ngsandwer ehusbandandwi fe.Iki ssed
herf ordearl ife.Weputoursi gnaturesonpapert o
makei toffi
ci al,offi
cial.Ibelievethati twasmeant
tobe.Ofal lthepeopl ear oundJakecamet ous.
Lucyt elli
nghi m herr easonst onotwant ingt omar ry
him madeusr eal i
zethatwe' vebeenwi thot her
peopl e,gottr eat edli
ket rashanddi dn'twantt hat
again.Wedon' tevenknowourwi tness.Wewenti n
thinkingwe' llbehi swi t
nessesbutGodhadot her
plans.Nt ombii smygi f
tfrom God.Ourpat hs
crossedf orar eason.Ther ewasar easonwhyI
didn'tdoani ndept hinvestigationaboutherwhen
Waynesuggest edher .Iwoul dhavef oundoutabout
herandnothavechosenhert obemysur r
ogat e.
Wedi dnott hi nkt hi
ngst hroughbuti tfeelsr ight.I
t
mustf eelri
ghtf orhert ooorshewoul dhavesai d
no.Jakepai df orlunchandpoorguyevenst ayedto
celebr at
ewi thus.I tseemswemadeanewf ri
end.
Weexchangednumber sbef orehel eftusal one.We
wenthome.Wear enewl yweds.Theexci t
ementwas
beyondwor ds.Idi dnotdoanyt hi
ngt oi nit
iatesex
becauseIdi dn' tmar ryherf ort hat.Eveni fshe
want stowai t
,I'l
lwai t
.Sheexcusedher selfandt ook
alongwhi l
etocomeback.Shecamebackwear ing
hergown.Sheki ssedmepassi onat ely.Ist i
lllether
taket helead.Shel ookedatmeandt ol dmeshe' s
ready.Ihadt oaskaf ewt imesi fshewassur e.Her
l
ipstouchedmi neagai n.Wewentupt omyr oom, I
meanourr oom.Theki ssingoncewegoti nsi de
becamesoi ntense.Ihadl ostal lsensesbyt hen.
Shet ookmycl othesof f.Itwast hent hatIst ar t
edt o
taket helead.Il aidheront hebedandgotont opof
her.Ilookedi nt oherdar kbr owneyesandj ustt ook
i
nhowbeaut i
fulMYWI FEi s.Shel ookedatmeand
smiled.Ismi l
esbackbef or ekissingheragai n.I
want edt otakemyt i
me.Iwant edhert oknowt hat
sexwi t
ht herightper soni sgood.Il ookedf or
condomsi nmydr awer .Ihadt ocheckt heexpi ry
datebecauseIhadntusedt hem i nal ongt i
me.The
happi nessIf eltwhenIsawt heyhadnotexpi red
wasbeyondwor ds.Iturnedmyf ocust olovingmy
wifeonceagai n.Wewer ebot hnakedsoon.Shedi d
notseem t oknowwher etoputherhands.Mi ne
wereever ywher e.From herneck, toherbr east sto
herinnert hight hatwer enowmoi st.Ikissedmy
waydownherbody.Iwant edt otast eherbutshe
stoppedmebef oreIcoul dr eachherl ovespot .She
sliddownt of aceme.Nt ombi :"Whatar eyou
doi ng? "shel ookedconcer ned.Li yema:" Lovingyou.
Iwantt oshowl ovet oever ypar tofyourbody, "I
kissedherl i
ps.Nt ombi :"Youdon' tneedt odot hat
,
Liyema.Iknowt hatmendon' tli
ket hat.You'r enot
forcedt o,baby, "Liyema:" Ntombi ,pleasedon' tdo
this.Notwhent hemomenti ssobeaut iful,
"Nt ombi:
"Idon' tl i
kehow. .
.howIl ookdownt here,"
.Ist his
womanki ddingme?Li yema:" I'm yourhusband,
Nt ombi .Iloveyouandal lpar tsofyourbodyeven
thoseIhaven' tseen.Pl ease, baby, "Ikissedherso
she' dletgo.Igotupf rom bet weenherl egst oj ust
mar velatherbody.Shewasl ookingatmeso
unsur eofever ythingwhi chmademewonderi f
we' rerushi ng.Bei ngmar ri
eddoesnotmeansex.I
kissedherkneest hatshecl enchedt oget her.Iwas
aboutt ot otellhert hatwe' l
ltryanot herdaywhen
shepar tedherl egssl owl y.Shecover edherf ace
wit hherhands.Whywoul dshet hinkI '
dhat ehow
herwomanhoodl ooks?It ookagoodl ookandI
want edherevenmor e.Ever ypar tofheri sper fect
.
Shehasacutt hatalmostcutoneoft helipsofher
privateinhal f
.Idi dnotcar eaboutt hatshi t
.Was
thatwhatshewashi dingf rom me?Asmal lcut?I
kissedheri nnert highssof t
lyandhersweetscent
drovemei nsane.Ienj oyedbei ngbet weenherl egs.
SoonIgotsomesof tmoansf r om herandf elther
handhol dmyhead.Idi dn' tstop, Icouldnotst op.
Shecal ledoutmynameandgent lysqeezedmy
headbet weenhert highswhi l
ehavi nganor gasm.I
l
ovedi t.Af terhermomentofbl i
sssubsi dedI
want edt oki sdherbutsher efused.Il aughedbut
gotmyki sssoon.Theki ssingbecamei nt
enseand
passionat eonceagai n.Icoul dn' ttakeitanymor e.I
wasdesper atet obei nsi deofher .Iputona
condom.West ruggledabi tbecauseshewast ight
andt ense.OnceIaskedhert onott enseupwewer e
one.Imovedgent l
yandl ookingathert ochecki f
shewasst il
lokay.Shef el tevenbet terthani nthe
dream.Wet ,war m, ti
ght .Shemovedt omyr hythm
afterawhi leandIwasi nanot herwor l
d.Ideci dedt o
notover whel m herwi thposi ti
ons.Met akingt he
l
eadwasper fectf orthef i
rsttime.Themoans, soft
namewhi sper s,occasi onalf l
ushedeyescont acts
webot hhadanor gasm t oget her.Herl egswer e
shaki ng.Ihel dont oherunt i
louror gasmssubsi ded.
Nodr eam coul dcompar et ot her ealit
yofi t
.Iwent
togetawar mt owelt ogetusbot hdecentaf tera
l
ongwhi leofheavybr eat hingt ryingt ocat chout
breaths.Il aidnextt oherandl ookedather .Li yema:
"Nor egr et?
"Iaskedsof t
ly.Nt ombi :"No, baby.Il ove
you, Liyema, "shecr iedbutwhi lesmi li
ng.Li yema:" I
l
oveyout oo, baby.Shi tIl oveyout oo, "Ikissedher .
Ntombi :"Ndlovu, "shel ookedatme.Li yema:
"Ndlovukazi ,"shesmi l
ed.Nt ombi :"Ilovedwhatwe
justdi d,
"shebl ushed.Li yema:" Thatwasmej ust
war mi ngup.Thet hingsI '
m yett odot oyou, "she
l
aughedsof tly.Nt ombi :"Di dyouenj oyi t?Iknow
yousai dyoudi dnoti nthepastoutoff ear,
"Li yema:
"Ididn'tevent hinkaboutanyt hingel se.Il ovedeach
secondanddon' thi depar tsofyour sel fagai n
please, Lala.Il oveal lofyou"Nt ombi :"Met oo, Il
ove
allofyou, "sheki ssedme." Ourpar ent swi llkillus,"
wel aughed.Li yema:" It'
l
lbeoursecr etunt i
lI '
ve
gonet hrought her i
ghtcul turalpr ocesses.Wewi l
l
havet obemar ri
edsecr etlyf ornow.Wecant ellthe
boyst hough,"Nt ombi :"Asecr etitist hen.Don' t
forgett ot aket heringof fwhenyougot owor k,"
Liyema:" I
'l
lhatedoi ngt hatsomuch.Iwantt he
ent i
rewor l
dt oknowbutIdon' twantt ogiveyour
fami lyr easonst or ejectmyl obolasoI 'l
lkeepqui et
,"
Ntombi :" We'remar ried,"Liyema:" AndIl ovei t.All5
mi nutesofi t,
"wel aughed.Nt ombi :"We' r
ecr azy,
Liyema, "Liyema:" Youonl ynot icenow? "she
l
aughed.Nt ombi :"
Uhm canwe. ..
havear epeatof
whatj usthappened? "Ilaughedatherr equestbut
washappyt ogranti t
.WhowasIt odenymywi f
eof
what '
sher ?AtleastImanagedt omakeherl ikesex.
Wemadel oveagai nandagai n.Ifor gotthatwehad
dinneratMma' s.Wegotupt ot akeashower
toget her .Ilovemywi f
e.Ilovet ouchi ngmywi fe.I
l
ovebei ngi nsideofherandbeonewi thher .We
don' tknowwhatwi llhappenbutwear eready.I
hat ethatwehavet okeepi tasecr etbuti fwet el
l,
weangert heelders.Wel eftourr i
ngshome.Iwi ll
givehert heweddi ngshedr eamsofwhent het ime
i
sr ight .Weact ednor malar oundt hepar ents.I '
ll
speakwi thTat asoon.Idon' twantt okeepmy
mar riagesecr et.Icoul dn'
tkeepmyeyesof fher ,
Mr sEl ephant .Wemanagedt ogett hrought he
dinnerwi t
houtr aisingsuspi cion.Thesi xofuswent
home.Ihat et het houghtofal ongdi stance
mar riage.Theboysdi dnotwantt osleep.Wehadt o
putt hem inbedwi t
husbecausewewer etired.We
gotjumpedon, bitten, cr i
edonandr eali
tysanki n.
Wemi ghtbenewl ywedsbutt herear eot herpeopl e
i
nourl ives.Byt het imet heyf ellasleepwewer etoo
ti
redt oputt hem i nt hei rroom outoff earofwaki ng
them.Theyneverwantt osleepi nmybed.Outofal l
thedayst heychoset odoi t,theychoset heni ghtI
want edt ohol dmywi feal lnightl ong.Il ookedover
atNt ombiwhowassl eepingpeacef ully.Ilookedat
theguysbet weenusandIj ustpoi ntedatt hem.
Theseguyst hough.Sl eepingpeacef ullywhent hey
ruinedmycuddl ingwi thmywi fe.Havi ngki dsi s
reall
yni teasy, nosenseofpr ivacyatal l.Il
ovet hem
though.I 'm suret heywi llbehappyt oheart hatI
fi
nallyputar ingoni t.Ideci dedt oal sosl eep.My
heartwasf il
ledwi t
hgoodt hings.I 'm ahusband
againbutmycur rentwi feissentt omebyGod.I
don'tcar ewhatanyoneel sethi nksshoul dtheyf ind
outwe' r
emar ri
ed.
[
03/
28,
17:
13]Lynne:FORTYONE

NTOMBI

Reveal ingmysel ftoLiyema, al

lofmewasnoteasy.
Ididnotmi ndshowi nghimt hest retchmar ksonmy
bellybutf orhi mt owantt oseeal lofmewas
foreign.IlovehowIl ookinmyl ovespotbutIwas
notsur ethathewoul d.Therewasat imewhenI
was14year sol dandt her
ewasar umourt hatIwas
sleepingar oundwi ththeboysi nmyvi ll
age.When
myst epmot herheardofit,shedeci dedt opuni sh
mebyt akingabl adeandcut ti
ngmyl abiami nora.I
don'tt hinkI'vebledasmuchi nmyl ife.Icouldnot
wal kforweeksandsher efusedmemedi calhelp
outoff earofbei ngaskedt oomanyquest i
ons.Had
shet akenmet ot hecli
nicI'
dhavebeenst i
tchedup
butt hatdidnothappen.I t'
snotabi gcutbutshe
almostdi dcutpar t
sofmyvagi na'sout erli
p.To
havemyhusbandl oveallofmei sgood." i
tmakes
youuni que, baby,"hehassai dsomanyt imes.
We' vebeenmar riedf oramont handst il
lkepti t
secr et.Ithasbeenamont hofbl i
ss.Theonl y
probl em hasbeent hedi st anceandt hesecr ecy.
Liyemahasspokent ohi sf atherandal ett
erwas
sentt omygr andfathert ol ethi m knowt hathe
shoul dexpectt heEl ephantf ami l
ysoon.Ihavenot
toldLi yemaabouthi sf athert hreateningmeback
whenIhadj ustgivenbi rth.MrEl ephantst i
ll
i
nt i
mi dat esmewi thj usthi spr esencebuthehad
notbeenunki ndt owar dsmeatal l
.Idon' tthink
tell
ingLi yemaaboutsomet hingt hathappened
whenwewer eallconf usedandemot i
onali swor th
i
t.Myf ami l
yhasnotgot tenbackt otheEl ephant s
yetbecauset hereisconf l
ictaboutwhoshoul dlead
thenegot i
ati
ons.Itol dt hem Idon' tcareasl ongas
i
tsdone.Makhul useemst ohaveconvi nced
Tamkhul utoletmyf atherl eadt hem si nceIcar ry
hissur name.Nowt heEl ephant shavebeenwai ting
toheari ftheyshoul dgot oQueent ownorPeddi e
forthel obolanegot iati
ons.Mypoorhusbandhas
beenst ressingabouti tbecausehesayshehat es
thathecan' tflauntme.Ont hebr ightside, i
thad
all
owedust oenjoyoursecr etmar ri
age.Ideci ded
tospendt heSept emberbr eakatLi yema's.Makhul u
didnotunder standwhyIdi dnotgohome.Icoul dn'
t
exact l
yt ellthem becauseIwant edt obewi t
hmy
sonsandhusband.Shet oldmet ost opvisiti
ngunt i
l
thel obolai sdoneandI '
ddi e.Ihadt obegherusi ng
howImi sst heboysasemot ionalbl ackmai l
.I'm not
proudbutIcan' tstandtobeawayf r
om them.My
bur saryhasst i
pulatedthatI '
llonlybeabl et o
transfernextyear .Ican'tlosei tsoIhavet orespect
theircondi tions.I '
vebeeni nCapeTownf ortwo
days.Ti mef liesbysof ast.Waki ngupnextt omy
husbandhasbeengr eat.I'veevenmemor i
sedt he
ti
mehet akeshi st r
eatmentj usti ncaset he
remi nderdoesnotgoof f.Ioncehear dagi rli
ncl ass
sayshe' dneverbewi thamanwi thHI V.Atf i
rstIfel
t
mybl oodboi lbutt henIr ealizedi tsnonofmy
busi ness.Somepeopl ejustdon' tknowmuchabout
i
t.Eveni ftheent i
rewor ldknewI 'm mar ri
edt oan
HI Vposi tvemanIwoul df eel noshame.Mostoft he
peopl eatvar sit
ysl eepar oundwi thoutprotect i
on
becauset hei rpar t
nersassur est hem t heyar e
negat ivebutt heymi ghtbel ying.Myhusbandhas
beenopenabouthi sstatust ome, healwaysmakes
sur ehehascondomsandI 'veal sobeenbuyi ngmy
ownj ustincasehef orget st opur chase.Hei sa
busi nessmanandaf ullt i
mef athersot heset hings
coul dsliphismi nd.I'
venevernotoncef earedhe' d
i
nf ectme.Hei snotHI V, hej usthasHI V.Ihat ed
wear i
ngmyr ingasaneckl aceatschool .Iwant ed
guyst oknowI 'm aMi ssusnow.Li yemaandIsati n
ourbedl ateatni ghtaf teral ong, f
undayatt he
beach.Iwentwi ththeirnanni esbecausei tmi ghtbe
ahol i
dayf ormebuti t'
swor kf orhim.Li yema:" I
thinkIshoul dtakel eavet ospendmor et imewi th
youguys, "Ilookedupathi m.Isatbet weenhi slegs.
Ntombi :"
Onl yi fyoucan, baby.Idon' tmi ndwai ting
unt i
lyoucomebackf r
om wor k,"Ikissedhi m.
Liyema:" Soyourf amilyst il
lhasnotmadeupt hei r
mi ndsaboutwher emyf ami lyshoul dt aket he
cows? "Ntombi :"I
tseemsi t
'llbeQueenst own.I
don' twantt ogot omyf at her'shousewhi lethat
womani sther e.Makhul usayssheusesdar k
magi c,
"hel aughedsof tly.Liyema:" Doyoubel ieve
i
nt hat ?"Ishrugged.Nt ombi : "
Iknowt hatt herear e
peopl ewhogot oshadysangomasf ormut i
,baby.I
don' tknowi fthemut iwor kst hough.WhenIwas
pregnantMakhul uwoul dnotevenal l
owmet ost ep
footi nQueenst ownt ovisitmyf ather.Shebel ieved
i
nt hesest uff.It'swei rdbecausesheal sopr ays, "
Liyema:" Afteral lyou'vet oldmet hiswomanhas
donet oyou, I
'm gl adMakhul udi dn'tal l
owyout ogo.
Maybeshewoul dhave" acci dent all
y"pushedyou.
I'
m gl adImar riedt hemot herofmychi ldren,"I
smi ledathi m.Hewr appedhi sar msar oundmeand
kissedmyneck.Nt ombi:" I
'dhavebeent he
dramat icbabymamahadyounot ,
"hel aughed.
Liyema:" Sosi nceyouandIwi llbemar riedpubl icl
y
soon, wehavet ogot ochur cht oget her.Idon' tli
ke
l
eavi ngyouher eonSundays.Goodt hingi sthatwe
got ot hesamechur ch.Wi llyoubewear i
ngt her ed
jacketnow? ,"webot hlaughed.Nt ombi :"What ?No,
baby, "Liyema:" Nowt hatyou' remar riedyouwon' t
becal led" si
si ,you' l
lbe"mama"youmustdr ess
accor dingly,"hel aughed." I'mj ustki dding, babe.We
willdealwi t
hsuchwhent het i
mecomes.Ij ustwant
thislobol athingoverwi thal r
eadysoIcan
i
nt roduceyout omyent i
r ef ami ly,
"Nt ombi :"
Doyou
thinkt heywi lllikeme? ",
Il ookedathi m.Li yema: "I
won' tlie,Lalat her estil
lareaf ewZi ngi saf ansbut
mostwi l
lloveyou.Whenmypat ernalgr andmother
l
ovesyou, youdon' thavetocar eaboutt herest
becauseshei sasgoodasbei ngt hecl anl eader
thoughshe' samakot itotheEl ephant s.Iknow
she'llloveyou, "Ntombi :"
Youcan' tbesur e.Your
fami l
ysoundsbi g,
"Liyema:" WhenIwentt oshow
hert heboysshet oldmet obr i
ngt hewomanwho
gavet heEl ephant ssucht reasur essoshe' dbowt o
her,"Il aughed." Okaymaybenott hebowi ngpart,"
webot hl aughed.Nt ombi:"I'
m scar edt hough.What
i
ft heygi vemeast r
angemakot inamej ustbecause
theydon' tlikeme? ,
"Liyema: "Thatpar tissor t
edbut
Ican' ttellyout hename.You' vehear dmecal lyou
Lalaaf ewt imesr i
ght?"Inodded." Wel lwhen
LulonkeandIusedt ogot of ami l
yweddi ngsshe
alwayssai dsheal readyknowswhatshe' l
lnamemy
wife.Ican' ttel
lyoubutLal aist hecl ue,"hegrinned.
Ntombi :"Youdoknowt henamewi llnotcomef rom
your ight ? "Liyema: "I'
vebribedaf ewpeopl eto
maket hingswor kinmyf avor .Iwantyout ohave
thenamemyt winwoul dhavegi venyou.Shewoul d
havel ovedyousomuch, "Ismi led.Nt ombi :"I
'
m
sureI 'dhavel ovedher .Wai t
..."hel ookedatme
whi leIwentmemor yl ane" Irememberwher eIsaw
her ..
.shewast herewhenIgavebi r
th.Yoursi ster
wast her ewhenIgavebi r
th,"Ilookedathi m andhe
l
ookefatmeast houghIwaacr azy.Liyema:" I'
m not
followi ng,"Nt ombi :"Ithinki twaswhenIwasputt o
sleepf ortheoper ation.Ther ewasagi rl.Ifinall
y
rememberherherf aceandi t
'sthegi rlint he
pictur esyou' veshownme. .
.shewast her ewhenher
nephewswer ebor n,"Iwhi sper ed.Hesmi led.
Liyema:" Ibel i
eveyou, sthandwasam.Iwi shwe
wer el ikewear enowwhent heywer ebor n,"Ntombi :
"Thi ngst urnedoutast heyshoul dhave.Ndl ovu, I
askt hatwehavet hi sbi gweddi ngyou' vebeen
talkingaboutwhenI 'm donest udying,"It houghthe
woul dpr otest.Liyema:" Idon' thaveapr oblem wi th
that ,Mr sEl ephant ,
"hesmi l
ed.Nt ombi :"Whyar e
youguysEl ephantandnotNdl ovu? "Liyema:" You
meanwhyar ewe, youi ncludedEl ephant ?"webot h
l
aughed." Ithinkitgotwest ernizeddur ingt he
Apar thei
der a,baby.Il ovet hatyoucal lmeNdl ovu
though.I tsoundsst rongandsor espect fuland
whenyousayIgett urnedon, "Iblushed.Nt ombi :
"Ndl ovu,"Isai dinasexyvoi ce.Liyema:" Woman,
don' tmakemedot hi ngst oyou, "hesl i
dhi shand
bet weenmyt highs.Nt ombi :"Ndl ovu, Ndlovu,"I
saidi naf li
r tatiousvoi ceandt urnedt ofacehi m
"Ndl ovu,"Isai dsl owl yandki ssedhi m.Thingsgot
heat edandki nkyaf tert hat.Isomet imesdon' tknow
wher ethescr eamscomef rom butIcan' thelpi t.He
drivesmei nsanebuti nagoodway.Il ove
sur renderingmysel ftohi m andIt hi nkthedi stance
makesushungr yf oreachot herevenmor e.He' s
taughtmeaf ewnewt hingst oo.Idon' twanthi mt o
stopmaki ngl ovet ome.I '
m st i
llwor ri
edabouthi s
fami lynotl ikingme.I 'm nott hef irstwi f
ehebr ings
home.Idon' twantt obei nZi ngisa' sshadow.
Liyemakeepst ell
ingmet hatt oevent hinkt hati san
i
nsul ttomysel fbutt hat 'sbecauseheseesmeand
Zingi sadiffer ently.Hi sf ami lymi ghtst il
lli
keher .
Thel astthingIwanti st obemar riedtomonst er
i
nl aws.Hi si mmedi at ef amilyhasaccept edme.Hi s
mot herandbr otherar eact ual l
yqui tefondofme
butt her ewi llbemoment swher ewewi l
lhavet ogo
tohi shomest eadwher emostofhi sfami l
ywi llbe.
Theyar ef r
om Mt ata, wel latl easthi sfatheris.They
areahugef ami l
yjudgi ngf rom howhet alksabout
them.Theyar ealsoasuccessf ul fami l
y.Myf ami ly
ont heot herhandconsi stsofMakhul u,Tamkhul u
andTat a.Theyhaveext endedf ami l
ybutIdon' t
knowt hem.Wear en'tpoorbutcompar edt ot he
Elephant swear epoor .Idon' twantt ocompar eour
fami l
iesbutsomewel lof ffami lieslookdownon
otherpeopl e.Iimagi neitwaseasyf orZi ngisa, her
fatherwasal sor i
ch.Li yemaassur esmet hatI '
m
wor ryingaboutnot hingbuthewon' tbet her ewi th
meal lthet i
meonceI '
m makot i
.Iwon' texact lybe
ablet ocr yt ohim whenevert hingshappent hathur t
me.Il ookedathi m whi lehewassl eepi ng.Il ove
howt hickandmessyhi sbr owsar e.Ibr ushedt hem
withmyf ingerswhi l
esmi ling.It hi
nkt hismanhas
fedmel ovepot ioni ndeedbecauseIcan' tget
enoughofhi m.Iki ssedhi m bef oreput tingmyar m
andl egoverhi m.Hi shandwr appednat urall
y
aroundmyshoul der.Ilovebei ngamar riedwoman.
Ther ewi llbet ought i
mesaheadbutasl ongashei s
nextt omeIwon' tbeaf rai d.Myphonevi bratedand
Ilookedatt hescr een.Iwoul donl yhaveanswer ed
hadi tbeenmygr andpar ent sorf atherbuti twasa
privatecal lsoIswi t
chedi toffandr eturnedt omy
husband' sar ms.LI YEMANt ombi '
sf amilydel aying
i
scausi ngmemor est resst hanIl eton.Myot her
feari sthathergr andf at herwi llwantl i
vest ockwhi l
e
herf atherwi l
lwantcashwhi chmi ghtdel ayeven
mor e.Idon' tcarewhoget st hel obolaori nwhi ch
formi ttheypr eferit.Ij ustwantt ostopsneaki ng
aroundwi thmywi fel ikeshe' ssomesi dechi ck.I '
m
alsonotpl anni ngonbei ngahusbandwhowi ll
all
owhi sfami lytomi streathi swi fe.Ididn' twantt o
tellhert hatmostl ovedZi ngisaandputpr essur eon
her .Idon' twanthert ot hinkshe' scompet ingwi th
thememor iesofmyexwi fe.I'
m notgoi ngt oinsul t
mywi febycompar i
nghert oZi ngisa.It'
snotevena
damncompet it
ion.Icanseet hatshei swor ried
abouthavi ngtogot oherf ather'shouset oshoul d
thenegot iationsbet her e.Shewi l
lhavet obet here
towel comeusoncet hel obol aisdone.Per hapsI
coul dgetherapl acet ost ayandonl yhavehergot o
thehouseont heday.Nt ombihasbeenwaki ngup
ear l
ywhenIgetr eadyf orwor k.Whi l
eIwasbusy
get ti
ngr eadyshewasbusypr epar i
ngbr eakf astand
evenmaki ngmel unch.I '
venevercar r
iedl uncht o
wor kunt i
lmywi fecamei ntomyl ife.Nott hatIget
toenj oyi tbecauseVusial waysasksf orsome.I
haven' tevent oldhi mI '
m mar ried.WhenI 'm atwor k
mymi ndi sathome.I 'm oneoft hebossesand
couldcomeandgoasIwantbutI '
m al soat eam
playerandhar dwor ker
.Myf athercal ledsayi nghe
want st oseeNt ombiandI .I
twasmor eofanor der
thanaski ng.Itoldhi mI '
daskNt ombi.I'm notgoi ng
tobul lymywi fei ntomeet ingmyf amilywheneveri t
suitsthem.Shesai ditsfinesoIconf i
rmedt hat
we'llcomeaf terwor k.Atleastt omor r
owI '
llbeof fto
spendt hedaywi ththem.If oundNt ombiandt he
boysr eadyt ogowhenIgothome.MaEuni cehas
startedherdaycar esoshehasbecomeast ranger
butwet alkont hephoneof t
en.Wet oldthei r
nanni est heycangohomebecausewewi l
lgowi th
them t ot heparent s.Liyema:" Youneedt olear nhow
todr i
ve, baby,"Il ookedatherbr iefl
yandf ocused
ont her oadagai n.Nt ombi :"
I'vebeent hinkingabout
that.It hinkit
'sagr eatidea,"shesmi l
ed.Li yema:" I
'l
l
giveyouyourf irstlessont omor row.Youneedt o
getyourl earnerswhenyou' rebacki nPE, "Nt ombi :
"Whati fIcrashyourcar ?
"Li yema:" Thenyou' llhave
toexpl aint othosef ourwhyt heywi llbewal kingt o
theirdest inat i
ons, "webot hl aughed.Bubel e:" Ta, "
hesai dsof t
ly.Li yema:" Yes, boy,
"Ilookedathi m
throught hemi r
r or.Hewaspoi nt
ingatoneoft hose
yellowf orkli
ftt rucks.Soont heal lmadevi brat ing
soundswi tht hei rmout hst oi mit
atethesoundof
thet ruck.Wej ustl aughed.Nt ombi:"It
hi nkwehave
truckf ans, "shel ookedbehi ndandsmi led." I'
ve
beenget t
ingmi ssedcal lsfrom apr i
vatenumber ,"
shel ookedatme.Li yema:" Yeah?Haveyou
answer ed? "Nt ombi :"Thelineget scutof fwhenI
do,"Li yema:" That '
sst range.Whenwast hel astt ime
yougoti t
? "Nt ombi :"Rightbef oreyoupi ckedusup.
I'
m sur eit'
snot hi ng.Di dyourf at
hersaywhyhe
want edt oseeus? "Ishookmyhead." Doyout hink
therei sapr obl em wi ththel obolaprocess? "Li yema:
"Let'snotassume, l
ove.We' realmostther eandwi l
l
soonf indout .Ever ythingwi llbeokayt hough, "I
tookherhandandki ssedi t
.Thenoi set hatcame
from t heback.Theboyswer ehavinga
conver sationi tseems, oneonl ytheyunder st and.
I'
m sur etheywer egossi pingaboutus.Wear rived
atMrEl ephantseni or sbighouse.Idon' tt hinkI
wantsuchabi ghouse.Si nceweonl yhaveboys,
theycancont i
nueshar i
ngar oom unt iltheymove
out.Wegott heboysoutoft heircarseat s.They
don' tevenwantt obehel dnowt hatt heycanwal k
ont hei rown.Theyst i
llfallfowar dandl andont heir
handssomet imesbutt heyar edet ermi nedt o
perfectwal king.Mmacameoutandt heyr ushedas
fastast heirlitt
lelegscoul dtoher .Thef eari fthem
fall
ingi sgivi ngNt ombimi nihear tat tacks.Mma
l
ookedl i
keshewant edt ot ellussomet hingbef ore
wewenti nbutsoonmyf ather ,
Nt ombi '
s
grandpar entsandherf atherappear ed.Il ookedat
herandcoul dseet hesl i
ghtf earinhereyes.Ihel d
outmyhandt oher ,sheputher si nit.Shei smy
wi f
esoIhavear i
ghtt ohol dherhandand
somet hingt oldmet heyknewwear emar ried.Weal l
wal kedi nsideandwegr eetedt heel der s.The
tensi onthathungi ntheai rwascl ear .Wesatdown.
Myf athercal ledhi sdomest icwor ker .Sheappear ed
i
nar ush.Ta:" Vuyi ,t
aket heboyst othepl ayroom, "
heor dered.Nopl ease?Shet ri
edt ot aket heboys
butt heycl ungt omeandNt ombi .Liyema:" It'
sokay,
sisVuyi ,
"Ismi l
edt oassur ehershewon' tbei nany
troubl eshoul dshenotf oll
owor ders.Thesear emy
kidsaf terall.Ipi ckedupt woandNt ombidi dt he
same.Ther eIsatnextt omywi fe.Ourboysonour
l
apsr estingt heirheadsonourchest swai ti
ngf or
thej urytot elluswhyt heywear eher e.Atl eastit
feelsl i
kewear ei ncour t.Ta:"SoLi yemat her eI
wentt oHomeAf fai r
sgoi ngaboutmybusi ness.I
fi
ndJol a,rememberhi m?Hewor kst here.Imagi ne
myshockwhenhecongr at
ulatedmeonyour
mar r
iage.Appar ent l
yhesawt hatyou' dgot ten
mar r
iedont heirsyst ems.SoIt houghtI '
dcal lthe
Ml anduandPot if ami lysincetheirdaught er'
sname
appear edont hesyst em wi thyour s.Weal lwantt o
knowwhati shappeni ng,"hesai dinasl i
ght l
y
sar casticway.Il ookedatNt ombi .Mr sMl andu:
"Ntombi ,t
ellmet hisisnott r
ue,"shesai dsof tl
y
l
ooki ngatNt ombi .Ntombidi dnotr eply."Oh,
Ntombibutwhydoyoual waysmakebadchoi ces.It
seemsbot hyouandyourmot herhadnor espectfor
ourcul ture,".At earescapedNt ombieye.Li yema:
"Yes, wear emar ried, Ta.Havebeenf oraf ewweeks
now, "alloft hem wer eshocked." Wear esor ryfor
nott ell
ingyou.Thi ngsj usthappenedf ast.We
plannedt okeepi tqui etbecausewewant edt o
followcul tur al processesbef oretelli
ngt he
fami lies,"Isai dwhi l
el ooki ngatNt ombi .MrMl andu:
"Inourcul t
ur ewedon' tst artwi thwest ernizedways
andf ollowwi thcul turalways.Toust het woofyou
areasgoodasj ustcohabi tingbecauset hef ami li
es
don' tknoweachot her ,
"MrPot i
:"Oh,Nt ombi ,I
thoughtyouwoul dlear nf rom myandyourmot her'
s
mi stakes, "Nt ombi :" I
'm sor ry,Tata,
"mor etear s
came.Iwant edt ogetupandgetmyf ami lyhome
butIcoul dn't.Ta:" Liyema, whatt ypeofpeopl edo
youwantt hisf ami l
yt ot hinkwear e.Fi rstyouget
theirdaught erpr egnantandnodamageswer epai d
andnowyoumar r
iedherl i
keadi rt
ylittlesecr et
withoutl obol a?Di dIr ai seyout odi srespectcul ture
l
iket his?"Li yema:" No, TabutI '
veneverseenmy
wifeasadi rtyl itt
lesecr etandIwon' tactl i
keI
regr etmar ryingher .Iwon' tevenactl ikeIr egr ett he
dayIchoset omar ryher .Wi thallofthest al l
ingt hat
hadbeenhappeni ngwi tht hel obola,it'sclearwe
woul dhavegot tenmar riedwhoknowswhen, "Ta:
"Hey, shutupman, "hepoi ntedatme.Theboysgot
star tl
edabi t.Li yema:" You' rescar i
ngmychi ldr en
andpl easedon' tspeakt omel ikeI'm achi ld,noti n
frontofmywi feandchi l
dr en.Youwoul dn'tli
kei tto
bedonet oyou, "Ilookedathi m andhedi dthesame.
Mma:" No, Idon' twantt his, noti nmyhouse.Wear e
alladultspl ease,"shel ookefatmyf atherandI .Mr
Ml andu:"Af i
ghti sthelastt hi ngwewant ,
Ma
Elephantbutt hesechi l
drenmustknowt hatwhat
theydi diswr ong.Fi r
sttheyhavechi l
dr eni na
mannernonofusunder st andandnowt his.You
haveshownmychi l
dgr eatdi srespect, boy,"Ntombi :
"Liyemadi dnotf orcemet odoanyt hing.Idon' t
under standwhyyoucan' tseet hebeaut yinwhati s
i
nf r
ontofyou.I 'm notsl eepi ngar oundwi thvar sity
boysandhavi ngwi l
dpar ti
es, Tamkhul u.I'
mi nf ront
ofyouhol dingmysonswi thmyhusbandandot her
boysnextt ome.Wear esor ryforever ythi
ngbutl ike
myhusbandwedon' tregr etanyt hing.I fgivena
chanceI '
dmar ryhi m agai n.Itpuzzl esmeeven
mor ewhenyousayourmar riagei sasgoodas
cohabi ti
ngbecauseourmar riagewasof fi
ciatedby
ar espectedChr isti
anman.Ourmar ri
agehasbeen
blessedandyoumi ghtnotr ecogni zei tbutIbel ieve
thatGoddoes, "shesai dwhi leavoi dingeyecont act
wi t
ht hem.Theyal lkeptqui et .Liyema:" Mmawhen
wast hel astt i
meyou' veseenmet hishappy? ,"I
l
ookedatherandshet ri
ednott osmi le.Mr sMl andu:
"Wecanseet hatyouar ehappy, mychi ldrenbut
youwer ewr ong, "Li yema:" Andwear etrulysor ry,
Makhul uMl anduandaskt hatyougi veusachance
torectifyitbywel comi ngmyl obol a,"Ta:" Yout wo
havenotevenknowneachot herl ong.Youdi dn't
evengof orpr e-mer it
alcounci l
ling,"Li yema:" Ar e
yout ell
ingmet hataf t
eralltheseyear syouhave
notlearnednewt hi ngsaboutMmawhi lemar riedto
her?"MrPot i:"Hehasapoi nt.Youcan' tfull
yknow
someone.Asi def rom thesecr ecy, I'm gladyou
foll
owedyourhear t.Whoam It ooj udgeaf t
erI
brokesomanyt radi t
ionsforlove.Youhavemy
blessings, mygi rl,
"hesmi l
edandl ookedathi s
daught er.Nt ombi :"Thankyou, Tat a,"shesmi ledat
me.Ther estj ustkeptqui et.Mma:" Isayt he
damagei sal readydone.Thechi l
dr enar emar ried
andI '
m notaboutt oaskt hem t odi vor cebecause
thetdidn'tdot hingsaccor dingt ot raditi
on.I '
vegota
daught eragai n, oneI '
vegrownt ol oveandr espect .
Mychi l
di shappy.Ohnot hingwar msmyhear t
mor ethanseei ngmybabybearhappy.Al somy
bubbl eswi llhavest abi l
it
y.Nt ombii t'snott hatwe
arebl i
ndt ot hebeaut ybef oreus, mybaby.Iguess
wef eelit'sr ushedbutwhoar ewet osay.Ri ghtnow
wear et heonl yoneswhoknowt heywentabout
thi
ngs. .
.uhm. .
."Ta:" Thewr ongway, "hef i
nishedher
sentence.Mma:" Nodi fferently...buti t
'snott olat
e
havet hel obol anegot iati
ons.Nt ombi 'sfami l
yis
here.Let '
st akeadvant ageofi t,"MrMl andu:" Wear e
notgoi ngt ohavet henegot iationsi nyourhouse.I t
i
syouwhohavet ocomet ous, "Ta:" Iagr eewi t
hMr
Mlandul et'snotcutmor epr ocesses.Thi sisnot
howIwant edt hingst oendup.Idon' twant
Ntombi 'sf ami lyseei ngwhatIdi dasr edf lags.I
meantnodi srespectt ohernorherf ami ly.We
thoughtt heywer edonebutt heygaveusmor e
reasonsast owhyi tshoul dnothavehappened.I
real
lyappr eci ateMmaspeaki ngupf orus.I twas
concludedt hatt henegot i
ationswi l
lbei n
Queenst own.Iknewi twasnotnewsNt ombi
want edt ohear .Wewi l
lmaket hebestofabad
sit
uat i
on, weal waysdo.Noonewi l
lhar m hert here.
Thedaysherst epmot herhi tandevencutherar e
over.Idespi set hewomanbuthaveneverevenmet
her.Myf at herflewel der l
ypeopl eal lthewayf or
nothing.Hecoul dhavehadmybackandasked
them toacceptmyof fert onegot i
atel obol awi th
them insteadofbr ingingt hem her eandt alkingto
mel i
keI '
m achi ld.I'
m sur ehewant edt ohumi li
ate
me.MrMl andui sat r
uepeacemaker .Mr sMl andu
wasj usthappyt hatI '
llhonourhergi r
landhappyt o
seetheboys.Ican' tbelieveIkeptt hem awayf r
om
them forsol ong.I'l
lalwaysr egr etthat ,always.
Mmacal ledmet otheki tchent ohuggedme.She
wasmor eexci tedt hanIam.Mma:" Lookatyou, "
shebr ushedmyar mswhi lesmi l
ing." Haveyout old
her?"sheasked.Li yema:" Aboutmyst atus? "she
nodded." Zi ngi
sadi dt hehonour sal ongt imeago, "
Mma:" Thatwi tch.Sueher ,Liyema, "Liyema:" Not
worthmyt imenoref f
or t.Aftershet oldNt ombi ,we
grewcl oser .SomuchIhavet oact ual lythankher .
Mywi f
el ovesmeasIam, "Mma:" Youwi fe,"she
smiled.Li yema:" Mywi fe,"Ismi l
edf rom eart oear .
Mma:" Fi
nal lyIhaveadaught eragai nnowshecan' t
comeupwi thexcuseswhenIt akeheroutf orgir
l
ti
me.You' llhavet otellmewhatshel ikest odo.We
mustgett hi sl
obol aoverwi th,"shel eftmest anding
l
ikeshewasnotj usttalkingtome.I '
m sur et o
suggestt henegot i
ati
onsbet hisweekend.I
woul dn'tputi tpasther .Nt ombiwal kedi nand
huggedmef rom behi nd.Ismi l
edandt urnedt olook
ather .Iputheront heki tchencount erandshewas
uncomf ortable.Nt ombi:" Wear enothome, Liyema.I
don'twantt ogetusi ntomor et roubl e,"hel ookedat
thedoor .Liyema:" Hadwebeenhome, youwoul d
havenot hingon, "shebl ushed." Ican' tbel ievemy
fatherdi dn'tcomet omef i
rst
.JustwhenIt hought
themanwasst ar ti
ngt obeanor malf at her,"Nt ombi:
"Letitgopl ease.I thashappened, babyandIdon' t
thinkhedi ditoutofspi te,"Li
yema:" I'
vebeen
meani ngt oaskwhyyoul ookt ensear oundhi m, "
shel ookeddown" Ntombi "
,Isaid.Nt ombi :"It'
snot
i
mpor tant.WhenIwasatt hehospi talheof feredme
moneyt onotf ightyouf ort heboysandwhenI
declined, heki ndamadet hreads, "shesai d.Iwas
aboutt ogogi vemyf atherapi eceofmymi ndbut
shebl ockedt hedoor ."Liyemai twasat imewhen
wewer eal lmad.Youmadesomet hr eat stooand
sodi dI .Hehadnotbeenmeant ome.I twasj ust
emot ions,"shel ookedatme.Li yema:" Okay,
yeah. ..
you' r
er ightbuti t'
swi shyoushar edi twi th
me, "shesmi l
ed.Nt ombi :"I'
m sor r
y,babybear ,"she
saidi mi tatingmymot her .Webot hlaughed.Il ove
hersomuch.Wemakeagr eatt eam i nfrontofour
elder stoo.It houghtshewoul dsaysher egr etted
ever ything.Iki ssedherandherphonevi brated
agai n.Sheshowedi ttome, it'
sapr i
vat ecal l
.It ook
i
tandanswer ed.Li yema:" Li sten, Idon'tknowwho
youar ebutyou' recl ear l
ybor ed.I fyoudon' tst op
calli
ngmywi fe,you' llregr eti t,
"Isai dandt hecal l
gotcut .Nt ombi :"I
'm sur et heygott hemessage
nowt hatt heyknowI '
vegotast r ong, Afri
canki ngto
protectme, "sheki ssedme.Li yema:" Wellletus
showt hewor ldt hatt hequeenhasaki ng,"It ookher
neckl acewi t
hherweddi ngr ingof f,tookt her ingof f
i
tandpl acedi tinherf inger .Itookmyr i
ngoutofmy
pocketandputi ton." Doyout hinkJakewant shi s
ri
ngsback? ,"webot hlaughed.Nt ombi :"Hesai dits
gift
s.Il ikehowt heyf i
t,li
ket heywer emeantf orus,"
Liyema:" Theywer e,Mr sEl ephant ",Ikissedher
passi onat l
y.Mma:" Whooogohomet oyourhouse,
mychi ldr en,"webr oket heki ssandbl ushed.We
stayedf orawhi le.Weal sot ookNt ombi 'sfami lyto
ourhouse.Theyr efusedt ostayatourhouseand
mypar entshousebecauset hef ami liesdon' tknow
eachot heryet .Cul t
uret hough.Thesepeopl ehave
metandspentt i
met oget heryett hef ami l
ies" don't
knoweachot her".NtombiandIwi lldoast heysay
unt i
lshei sof fici
allyapar toftheEl ephantcl an.
Goodt hingIt ookadayof ffortomor row.Af terthat
meet ingIneedr est,nott hatI'
llgeti twi thchi ldren
around.I tsjustwi shfulthinking.Ilovebei nga
fami l
ymant hough.It ookmyi nl awst oGugul et
hu
wher eMr sMl andu' scousi nli
veandwher et heywi l
l
stayf ort heni ght .I'
mj ustgl adtheydi dn'
ti nsiston
Ntombigoi ngwi ththem unt i
laferI '
vepai dl obol a.
Wehavesuchl it
tleti
met ogetheral readybutt he
yearisal mostoversoIcanwai t.Itfeel sgoodt o
feelmyr ingar oundmyf ingerevenwhenar ound
peopl e.I'm apr oudhusbandandIweart her ing
withpr idet oo.I '
l
lhavet opayJakef ort her ings
becausewel ovet hem toomucht or eturnt hem.We
don'tevenknowi ftheyar egreatqual ityornot .I
alsodon' tappr eciat
edad' sfri
endgi vingout
i
nf ormat iont hatwasnothi stoshar e.Somepeopl e
don'tf earl osingt heirjobscl early.
[
03/
28,
17:
14]Lynne:FORTYTWO

BONGA

ThereIwaspushi ngmyhust leasI 'vealwaysdone

whenIgotacal lfr om aper sonInevert houghtI 'd
speakt oagai n.Idon' tevenknowhowshegotmy
number .Itwasacal lfr
om myaunt ,Nomvul a.We
decidedi twasbestwenott alkafterIleft
Queenst ownwi thNt ombi .Shei saver y,verydi stant
familymember .Idon' tknowhowwear erelated
exactlybuti thassomet hi
ngt odowi t
hmymot her's
sideoft hef ami ly.Shehadsomei nt eresti
ngnews
forme, wellaccor dingt oheri twasi nterest
ingnews.
Whenshef i
rstment ionedNt ombi'snameIhungup.
Ididn'tcar ewhet herNt ombihaddi edont hest r eets
orsellingherbodybecauseaf t
ershel eftme, ther e
wasnowayshewoul dhaveendedupanybet ter .
Nomvul akeptcal lingmeandIkepti gnor i
ngunt ilI
pickedupt ot ellherwher etogetof f.Whatshehad
tosayshockedmeandanger edme.Shesai d
Ntombihadf ourchi l
drenfrom t hatst upid
surrogacybusi ness.Thatwasnotal l,sheal sot old
met hebitchmanagedt owor m herwayt ot he
father'sbed.Howst upi
dcant hismanbe?I '
vebeen
calli
ngherbutkeptqui et.Iwant edhert owonder
whoi twasunt ilhermananswer edthephonet ot el
l
met obackof f.Thebast ar
di sloadedsoIdi dnot
wantt opusht hingsandst oppedcal ling.Nomvul a
thent oldmeNt ombigotmar r
ied.Icoul dnotbel ieve
thest upidi
tyoft hisguy.Wel lhepr ovedt obest upi d
byt hewayhechoset ohaveki dsbutt omar ry
Ntombii sanotherl evelofstupi d.Igett hatNt ombi
hast hatwi femat erialt
hingaboutherbutt hatisal l
therei stoit,i
t'
sanappear ance.She' sasst iffasa
planki nbed.Thatmanwi l
lcheati naf ewmont hs.
Nomvul atoldmet ocomet oQueenst ownwheni t'
ll
beNt ombi'slobola.Shedeser vesaf ewchi cken, not
cows.Ideci dedt ogohearwhatmydearaunthas
tosay.Shei nvitedmeoveratherhousewhenshe
wasal one.Isatandwat chedherbr i
ngmeoneof
herhi ddengi nbot t
les.Somet hingsneverchange.
Shepour edmeagl assandIpr eferr
edi tclean.I
tookonesi pandf i
nisheditdemandi ngar efil
l.
Bonga:" Sowhydoyout hinkIshoul dcar eabout
somef oolmar ryingyourst epdaught er?",Ilookedat
herNomvul a:"Ifyoudi dn' tcare,youwoul dnothave
comeal lthewayf rom t heWest ernCapet oli
stento
me, "shesai dandshemi ghthaveapoi nt .Bonga:
"Youst il
lhavenotanswer edme, "shesatcl oserto
me.Nomvul a:"
Doyour ememberhowyougot
Nt ombii nthef irstplace? "Bonga:" Areyousur e
you'real oneher e? ",Ilookedatt hedoor .Nomvul a:
"Relax, myki dsar esomewher evisi
t i
ngt heirfri
ends
andmyhusbandhasgonet ofindasheept ofeed
hisbel oveddaught er'
shusbandandhi sf amilyonce
thenegot i
at i
onsar edone, "sher oll
edhereyes.
Bonga:" I
tsoundsl i
kei twi l
lbelotsoff un, "Nomvula:
"AndyouandIdon' twantt hat.Youdi dpaymoney
forNt ombi ,sot echni callyshei salreadymar ri
ed
becauseyoupai dl obolaf orher,"wel aughed.
Bonga:" Afteryoupr omi sedhert ome, so
technical l
yyousol dhert ome.Shewasnai veand
bel i
evedal lthel i
esofl oveIt oldherandyou
treati
ngherl iket r
ashmadeherf indmyshoul derto
cryon, "Nomvul a:" Whi chwast heplant obegi nwi t
h.
Iwant edheroutofmyhouseandyouneeded
someonet ol ookaf teryou.Shedi dn'tevenknow
shewassol dbecauseherbr aini sassmal lasa
peanut.Idon' tunder standhowaneducat ed,
wealthymancanmar rysuch, "Bonga:" You' reright,
shedoesbel ongt ome.Ican' tbeeat inglikea
hungrydogwhi l
esheeat slikeaqueen.Iatl east
havet ogetmymoneybackwi thint erest.Imeani
fedthebi tchf oryear s,"Nomvul a:" Goodboy, now
wear eont hesamepage.Iwast hinkingyoucan
keepNt ombisaf ef orherhusbandandhavehi m
payyouf orlooki ngaf terhiswi f
e,"shesmi l
ed.
Bonga:" Kidnapheranddemandr ansom? "Nomvul a:
"Isai
dkeephersaf ef orherhusbandandgeta
rewardf ori t.OneI 'l
lwanthal fof ,"shet ookasi pof
thecleangi n.Bonga:" Howwi llyougether ?"
Nomvul a:" Wel lI
'vear rangedf orsomeonet odel ay
myhusband' ssheephunt i
ng.Nt ombit oldherf at her
shewi llonl yar ri
vet odayandsl eepoveri fI'
m not
heresoI 'l
ltakemydaught ert omysi ster'
spl ace
withme.Mysonaskedt ogot ohi sf r
iendst osl eep
oversincei tst heDecemberhol idays, "Bonga:" How
sureareyout hatherhusbandwon' tcomewi t
h
her?"Nomvul a:"Maybet odropherof fbutt hat'
s
whyyouwon' tbefar.Hewon' tsleepovershoul dhe
bri
ngher ,
"Bonga:" Whati fyourhusbandcomes
homeear li
ert hanyouexpect ?"Nomvul a:" Youdon' t
knowhowdesper atehei st ohavet omor rowgo
smoot hly.Af termont hsoft alksbet weent het wo
famil
iest heyf i
nal
lyreachedanagr eement .
Tomor rowt heywillfinal
iseandcel ebr ate.Hewant s
hisri
chi nl awst obei mpr essed.AndIdi dsayI 've
foundawayt omakei ti
mpossi blef orhi mt ocome
backear ly.Byt het i
mehecomes, you' dhavegot t
en
Ntombi .Wehavewor kedt oget herbef oreandcan
doitagai n,"Bonga:" Idon'twantNt ombi ,"Nomvul a:
"Aft
eryougett hemoney, Idon' tcar ei fyoudi scard
ofherorkeepherf oryouramusement ,
"Bonga:" I
f
thedevilhadawi f
e, you'dbeher ,"Nomvul a:"IfIhad
asonwi tht hedevil,you'dbehi m, "webot hl aughed.
Bonga:" OkayI '
vetrustedyoubef oresoIt rustyou
whenyousayyou' vegoti tallf i
gur edout .Itseems
tel
li
ngt hatf oolabouthowNt ombipl ayedhi m was
notenought omakehersuf fersoIdi dn'tpuni shher .
Thiscanbemychancet odosoandgett hemoneyI
gaveyouf orherback.I t
'sawi n-wi n.Nomvul a:
"Goodt hinghergr andmot herdespi sesever yt hing
aboutme, includi ngmyhouse.Idon' tknowhowI
woul dhavegot tenr idofher .PoorNt ombii sonher
wayher ethinki ngt hatshe' sgoi ngt ocel ebrate
tomor r
owandbet akent oheri nlawst henextday.I
don'tknowwhybutt hatchi ldhadneverbeenabl e
towi nmyhear t .Iguessi t'
sbecausehermot her
stolemymanandmar riedhi m butatl eastIgothi m
back,"Bonga:" Idon' tcar eaboutyourbeefwi t
h
Ntombi '
smot her .Justt el
lmet hepl ani ndet ai
l.I
needt oknowwhenIshoul dbeher eandwhi ch
room shewi llsl eepi n.Al sogi vemet hekeyst ot he
house.Ithinkshewi lldef i
ni t
elyl ockal ldoor ssince
she'l
lbealone, "Shepour edmor egi nf oruswhi l
e
wewentoverourpl an.Igotaspar ekeyt oo,hers.I
honestlydon'twantNt ombii nmyl i
feanymor ebut
Nomvul aisr i
ghtIneedt ogetapi eceoft hepie
beforeIleaveheral onef orgood.HadIbeenher
husbandI '
dhavet oldt heki dnapper st okeepher
butifhemar ri
edher ,hewi llpayt her ansom Iguess.
ItseemsI '
llber ichaf teral ltheyear sofst r
uggle.I
madeagoodi nvest mentbyt akingNt ombiaf t
eral l
.
Myi nvestmenthasmat uredandi t'
stimeIenj oyt he
rewards.NTOMBILi yemawant edt obookmei n
somewher eandhavemegot omyf ather'
shouse
tomor r
owwhenwe' llbewel comi nghi sfami ly.
WhenIt oldmyf athert hatIcoul dseehewassad.
Hesuggest edt hathewi llhaveNomvul aoutf ort he
nightifherpr esencei stoomuchf orme.Iwas
actuall
ysur prisedt oheart hatsheagr eed.I tmakes
mesadt hatI'llbeal onewi thmyf athert heday
beforemyl obol ai sfinalizedbutatl eastI 'l
lbeabl e
toenjoyl ifewi thmyhusband.Myt ranfertoUCTgot
approvedandmybur sar ywi llpayf ormysecond
yeartoobecausemyr esul tswer egood.I 'l
lmi ssthe
fri
endsImadebutIcan' tst andt obeawayf rom my
familyeachweekf orf ivedaysf oranot heryear .The
famili
esdeci dedt hatt heDecemberbr eakwi llbe
goodt odoever ything.Thel obolaandt henmy
welcomi ngt ot heEl ephantcl an,theent irecl an.
Makhul udi dnotwantt osl eepi nNomvul a'
shouse
butpromi sedt obeher etomor rowbef orethesun
cameupt ohel pmeandshe' l
lbringt wot axisf i
ll
ed
withext endedf ami l
yt oo.Theboyshavest ayedi n
CapeTownwi tht heirgr andmot her.WhenIar rived
atmyf ather '
shousei twasal readyabi tdar k.I t'
l
lbe
thefir
stt imeIsl eepher esi nceIr anf rom home.I
hatet hatI '
m al onebuti tiswhati ti
s.Iwal ked
aroundt henewhousef ort hef i
rsttime.Icr iedwhi l
e
wal kingar oundbecauset hisi smymot her '
shouse.
Ishoul dhavebeenhavi ngt eawi t
hherwhi letel li
ng
herhowexci tedIam aboutt omor rowandhow
nervousI '
mf eelingaboutgoi ngt omeetLi yema' s
extendedf amily.Shewoul dhavegi venme
mar riagesadvi sebuti nsteadIf oundmysel fal one.
Itfeltlikethedaybef oremyweddi ngbutI 'm not
surroundedbyf ami l
y.Ical ledLi yemacr yingandhe
saidi tsonl yfort onight.Hewasbusywi thhi s
uncl esandf atheri nprepar at i
onf ort omor rowso
coul dn'ttalk.Ireal i
zedt hatt hehousewasf ill
ed
withdust .Nomvul ahasneverbeent hemostt idy
person.Iwentt oopent heki tchencupboar dst o
l
ookf orcl eaningmat erial
.If oundever ythi ngIwas
l
ooki ngf orandst art
edt omopt hef loor s.Idust ed
allthegr ayl ooki ngplacesunt i
lever ythingshi ned
andsmel l
edf resh.Thel astt hingIwanti sf ormyi n
l
awst obewel comedt oadi r
tfil
ledhouse.Ishoul d
havei nvit
edXol itobewi t
hmebutshemi ssedher
homet oo.Idi dnotgoi ntot hebedr oomsbecausei t
woul dhavebeenani nvasi onofpr i
vacy.Il aidon
thecouchf eeli
ngexhaust edwhenIhear dasound
comef rom oneoft her ooms.It ookt hebr oom and
wentt oinvestigate.Ilockedal lthedooraf t
erI
wal kedi nandTat asaidhegotdel ayedduet ocar
probl emssoIknewIwasal oneoratl eastam
supposedt obe.Iwal kedbar efootont hecoolt il
es
slowl ymaki ngmywaydownt hepassage.Ihear d
someonecoughandIwascer tainIwasnotal one.I
dialedLi yema' snumberbuti tjustrang.Thecops
willtakef orevertogether esoIt houghti t'
sbestI
fi
ndt heintruderandbeathi m wi ththebr oom.The
soundcamef rom Lwazi '
sroom.Ient er edther oom
fi
lledwi thpost ersoff amousr apper sont hewal lbut
i
twasempt y.Icheckedundert hebedandal most
gotahear tat t
ackwhenIf oundsomeoneunderi t
.I
pokedt hem har dwi t
ht hest ick.Iwant edt heper son
tocomeoutsoI 'dlaymybr oom st i
ckonhi m har d.
Her oll
edoutandIst artedtowhi phim.Lwazi :"Sis
Ntombii t'
sme.St opi t
,"heshout ed.Ist oppedwhen
Ireal i
zedi twashi mi ndeed.Ihel pedhi m up.
Ntombi :"Whatar eyoudoi ngundert hebed, Lwazi ?
Tat asai dyou'reatyourf ri
end' shousebuther eyou
arehi dingundert hebed.Inear l
ykill
edyou, man, "I
shout edathi m.Lwazi :"I
'
m sor rybutIwast her et o
protectyou.Ical ledt hepol i
cebutt heysai dI '
m
wast ingt heirt i
me.Appar entlyI 'm oneoft hekids
whohavebeencal li
ngt hem t ogi vef aketipof fs,"
Ntombi :"Areyou? "Lwazi :"
No, si sNt ombi .
..
wel l
okayIdi ditonce, justonce.Theguysai dhe
remember smyvoi ceanddr oppedt hephone, ".I've
neverbeensoconf usedi nmyl ife.Whati sthisboy
onabout ?Nt ombi :"Woahbackdownabi t.Protect
meandcal lingcops?Idon' tunder stand, Lwazi .Ar e
youapar tofagang, Lwazi?I st hatwhyyou' re
hidingbecausesomeonei slooki ngf oryou? "I
shout edwhi lelooki ngathi m.Lwazi :"Foryou
actual l
y,"Ijustl ookedathi m wai ti
ngf orhimt o
bringmeoutoft hedar kandi ntot hel i
ght.Why
woul danyonel ookf orme?" Lookt her eIwasatmy
fri
end' shousei ndeept hought .Ir eal i
zedt hatmy
sisterthatIl ovei sget ti
ngmar riedt omor row, wel l
l
obol abutanywayi t'
si mpor tant .SoIsatt hereand
coul dnotbel ievet hatMamamademegoaway
whenmysi sterneededme.Imeanwhoi sgoi ngt o
opent hegat ef oryouri nlawst omor row?Thati smy
job...
,"Ismi ledandhuggedhi m.Mybabybr ot
heri s
amazi ng."Sisi,nolistent hereismor e.SoIcome
homer i
ghtandf oundMamat alkingt osomeguy.
Heyt heent i
rehouser eekedofal cohol .Theyclear l
y
didnothearmecomei n.Iheardt hismanask
Mamai ftheywer eal oneandIknewt heywer eupt o
nogood.If i
rstthoughtt hatMamawascheat i
ngso
Itookoutmyphonet or ecordit.Thet hingsIhear d,
sisi
,"hestartedt ocr y.Whatcoul dhi smot herhave
donet hathur tthechi ldsomuch.Ihuggedhi m
waitinguntilhecal meddownenought otellme
whathehear d.Ishismot hercheat ing?Hecoul dn't
repeattheirwor dssohej usttookouthi sphoneand
playedar ecor ding.MyshockwhenIhear d
Nomvul aandBongapl otagainstme.Shepl anned
theent i
rethingwi thBongaf r
om t hebegi nningand
heevenpai dher ?SoIbasi callygot raffi
cked
withoutevenknowi ngi t.Iwascr yingwi thmy
brotherli
kewehadj usthear daboutadeat hofa
l
ovedone.Howevi l canpeopl ebe?SoNomvul a
wasTat a'smanbef or ehewaswi thMama?That
explainsherhat ebutt osel l
meandnowpl anning
myki dnappi ng?It oldLwazit osendt herecording
tomyphone.Ionceagai ncall
edLi yemabuti twent
strai
ghtt ovoi cemai l
.Isenthi mt heaudi ovi a
What sappbuti tdidnotgot hrough.Iwasaboutt o
callTataandt hent hecopsbutt her ewasf iddli
ngi n
thef r
ontdoor .Itwasl at
esoBongawai t
edunt i
l
night.Ishegoi ngt odot hej obhi msel f?Ther ewas
not i
met omakemor ecalls.LwaziandIhadt othink
onourf eet.Wef i
guredt hatheexpect edmet obei n
bed.SoIputpi l
lowsi nthebedIwast osl eepi n
whi l
ehest r uggl edt ogeti t
.Int her ecording
Nomvul atoldhi m exactlywher ehewi llfi
ndmeand
perhapsevenshowedhi m ar ound.Wepl annedt o
ambushhi m whenhegott ot heroom.Thel i
ghts
wer eallonandt oswi t
cht hem of fwoul dmakehi m
suspicious.I 'mt iredoft hismanandi fIki llhimi n
selfdefenset hensobei t.Iwi shedmybr ot herwas
notapar toft hisbutwi t
houthi m Iwoul dnoteven
knowsoIwoul dn'thavehadasf i
ght i
ngchance.I
gaveLwazit hebr oom andIt ookt hekni feIusedt o
peeltheappl eIwaseat ing.I fthereissomeonewho
willkil
lBongai twasnotgoi ngt obemybr other.We
hidinhi sroom andcoul dheart hesof t,car eful
footstepsleadi ngt othel astr oom downt he
passage.Whenhewasi nsidewewentf orhi m.So
stabbedhi m onhi sshoul der .Hef oughtbackand
thekni f
el andedont heot hersi deoft her oom.The
smel loft abaccoandboozel ingeredbr ingingback
somanybadmemor ies.Lwazi atf i
r stst oodlooki ng
scar edbutsoonst artedhi tti
nghi m wi t
ht hebroom
whi leIwasonhi sbackchoki nghi m.Heseemsabi t
ti
psywhi chwor kedinourf avour .Idon' tknow
wher eIgott hestrengt hfrom.Iwant edt okil
lhi m,
I'
veneverf eltanur get okillsomeonel i
keIdi dwi th
Bonga.Lwazihi thiskneeswhi leIst illheldmyar m
aroundhi sneck.Hewasst ruggl i
ngandwentonhi s
knees.If eltsomet hingst i
ngmyt highbutIdi dn' t
car e.Mygr i
par oundhi sneckgotweakandIdi dn't
under standwhy.Bongagotup, shookmeof fhi m
witheaset histimear oundandhadmemeett he
har dwal lwithmybackbef orelandi ngont hefloor .I
feltweak.It riedtost andbutmyvi sionwasbl urry.
Event houghIcoul dn' tseewel l
,Imanagedt osee
Bongat akeoutapocketkni feandswungi tat
,
Lwazi .Iwasnotaboutt ohavemybr otherdie, not
afterwhathedi dforme.Lwazidi dnotst ophitti
ng
Bongaevenaf t
erItoldhi mt or unandl ookf orhel p.
Igotupandhear dLwaziscr eam.Ibl inkedaf ew
ti
mest ol ookathi m andhi syel lowshi rtwasr ed
withbl ood.It oldhi m againtogol ookf orhel p.He
ranoutandIcoul donl yhopehewoul dn' tbleedt o
deathont heway.Bongaappr oachedme, Isawmy
knifenotsof arf rom me.Ir eachedf oritqui cklyand
stabbedhi sf oot .Aweakst abbuthegr oanedi n
painsoI '
m sur eIi nfli
ctedsomepai n.Bonga:" You
nowhavet hest rengt htofightback, youbi t
ch, "he
shout edandt hegotdr aggedsomewher e.Hehel d
myr ightankl ewhi ledraggingme.Iwasbei ng
draggeddownt hepassage.Icoul dnothol dont o
anything, Icoul dn' tscream norf ightback.Iwasat
hismer cyandIknowbyexper iencewhathappens
whenBongagotangr y.EvenifIdi eIatl east
stabbedhi mt wot i
mes.Hewi llremembermebyt he
scarsIl eftonhi sbody.Hepai nf ul
lyletgoofmyl eg.
Hest oppeddr aggi ngme.Ihear dLwazi 'svoi ceand
theyel lowIsawt hroughmyweakvi siont oldmehe
wasback.Ihear dwhatsoundedl i
kef i
ght i
ng.Lwazi
helpedmeupbutIwast oodizzyandhadt ol eanon
thewal l
."Si si",Ihear dmybr othershout .Thef earin
hisvoi cewast oogr eattoignore.Whatdi dBonga
dot ome?If elltot hef l
oorwi t
hnosuppor tandwent
downhi tti
ngmyhead, itwasat otalbl ankaf tert hat.
LIYEMAMyphonebat terydi edandwhenIchar ged
andswi tchedi ton,Igotendl essmessages.Nt ombi
hasbeencal lingmeandl ef tmet extmessages.He
thoughtshewasf eeli
ngl onel ysinceshei sal one.I
call
edbackbutshedi dnotanswer .Icheckedher
What sappmessagesandf oundanaudi o.It hought
i
t'shergoi ngt ogi vemeanear fulf ornotanswer i
ng
myphone.WhatIl i
stenedt owasdi sturbi ng.I twas
herstepmot herandext al
king.Ical ledherf ather
buthet oldmehewoul dbehomever yl ate.Idr ove
toherhouseassoonaspossi ble.Iwasj usthappyI
wasi nQueenst ownwi thherandnoti nCapeTown.
Igotdelayedbycowsont her oad.I twasni ght , who
l
eavest heircowsoutatni ght ?Ial sogotl osti nher
neighbour hoodbutt hensomeonewassi gnal ingf or
met ostop.Idi dnotwantt obuthadnochoi ce
whent heper sont hrewt hemsel finf r
ontofmycar .I
gotoutandsawaboywhowasbl eddi ng.Het old
mehi ssist erneedshel p.Hewasbl eedingal otbut
whenIr eal i
zedi t
sNt ombi '
sbr otherf rom t hephot os
Irushedi nside.Seei ngmywi f
ebei ngdr aggedl ike
somepi eceofdeadmeatmademel oseal lsenseof
realit
y.Iwentt ot hemanr esponsi bl eandIbeathi m
unt i
lhel ostconsci ousnessbutIkeptonl aying
heavyf istsonhi sfaceunt i
lIfeltsomeonehol dme
back.WhenIr eturntor ealityIsawNt ombil ayi ngon
thef l
oor .Iwentt oher,shewasbr eat hing.Ilooked
atherbr ot herwhohadal sobecomet ooweakf rom
l
osi ngbl ood.Idon' tknowwhocal ledanambul ance
andt hepol i
cebutIhear dsi rensout side.They
want edt ot akeBongaont heambul anceandIt old
them hewi llnotr i
dewi thmywi f
eandbr other .They
tookhi mt ot hehospi talint hepol icevan.Nt ombi
andLwazigothel p.Ispoket othepol icetot ellthem
whatIknew.Theyputpol icepr esenceatBonga' s
room.Appar entlytheyal sof ounddr ugsi nhi scar .
I'
m sur ehewi llbechar gedwi t
hat tempt edmur der,
attempt edki dnappi ng,possessi onofi ll
egaldr ugs
andwhoknowswhatmor e.Anar r estwasputout
forNomvul atoo.Ican' tbel ieveamot herwoul ddo
that.Sellherchi l
d?Igavet hepol icet heaudi obut
theywant edt hephonei twast akenwi th.Wehadt o
wai tawhi lebutl aterLwaziwasst rongenought o
makeast atementandgavehi sphonef reely.Thi s
tol
dmet hatLwazii sayoungmanwi thtruthand
i
nt egr i
ty.Hecoul dhavesavedhi smot herbuthe
choset ruth.Iwasf i
nallyallowedt oseemywi fe.I
foundherawakeandsi tt
ingup.Bongahadi nj ected
herwi thami ldsedat ive.Shewant edt ostandbut
l
ai ddownagai n.Thedr ugisnotoutofhersyst em
yet.Li yema:" I'
m sor r
yIwasnott heret oprotectyou,
baby.Ishoul dhavemadesur emyphonei schar ged
dammi t.Youmusthavebeensoscar ed,"Iwiped
thet eart hatfellquickly.Shepout edherl i
psf ora
kissandIki ssedher .Ntombi :"Youcame.The
policet oldmet hatyoucamej ustint i
me, baby.
Appar entlyhadBongagot t
enmei ntohi scar,you
woul dnothavef oundmeeasi l
y...
.Youcame, "she
smi led.Idon' tcrymucht hat'shert hingbutIbr oke
downi ntearswhi lekissingher .Shewi pedmy
snot tynoseandt ears."YouandLwaziar emyher os.
Didhet el
lyouwhathedi d?CanIgoseehi m? "
Liyema:" Heist heher o.Het oldthepol i
cewher e
theymi ghtf i
ndhi smom t oo,"Lwazi :"Knock,knock.
Isitsaf et ocomei n?"hest oodbyt hedoor .Wel et
himi n.Hehadabandagear oundhi schest .He
huggedhi ssister."I
'm sor r
yIwast ooscar edt odo
mor et hanj usthithi m withabr oom.Icoul dn'tbr i
ng
mysel ftotaket hekni fe,"Nt ombi :" Ar eyouki dding
me, wegavehi m hel l
.Hadhenotdr uggedme, he
woul dn'thavel i
vedt ot ellthetal e,"t heyl aughed.
Lwazi :"Whydon' twebecomedet ect ives?"Li yema:
"What ?Hel lno! "theyl aughed.Lwazi :"Ican' tbelieve
Mamadi dthat .Tat ai sbet t
erof f,"Li yema:" What
wasyourpl an, Lwazi .Whydi dn'tyoucal lforhel p? "
Lwazi :"IdidbhutLi yema.Thepol icecutmycal l
.My
planwast owai tfort het hugandat tackhi m whenI
seehi mt ryt ohur tmysi ster.I'
m gr eatatst ick
fi
ghting.Hebr oughtakni f
et oast i
ckf ight,"Nt ombi :
"Stopmaki ngf akecal lsoff aket ipof fst ot hepol ice,
Lwazi .Lookt heydi dn'tbel i
eveyoubecauseyou
playedt hem f orfool sonce.Ot hert hant hatI '
m gl ad
youwer ether e.If eltmor esaf erandi fyouwer enot
thereI'dbegonenow.Howar eyouf eeling? "Lwazi :
"I'
m wor ri
edabouthavi ngt opusht hatheavygat e
forthei nlawst ocomei n.BhutLi yemayoual lwi l
l
havet ocl i
mboveri t,
"hej okedandwel aughed.
Liyema:" Howar eyou? "Nt ombi :"I'm okay.Ij ust
haveaheadache.Canwepost ponet he
negot i
ationsunt i
lt omor row.Iknowyourf ami ly
prepar edfort oday? "Liyema:" Ofcour se.Your
fami lyisout sideandmydadt oo.Youscar edme,
Nt ombi ,"Nt ombi :"I'
m sor ry,baby.Yourwi fehas
somef ight i
ngski ll
s.Youshoul dhaveseenmei n
act i
on,"Il aughed.Li yema:" I'
m sur eyouwer ebad
ass,"Idon' tlikehear ingt hatshehadt ofightf orher
l
ife.If ailedher .Ipromi sedhersaf ety.Idi dn' ttel
l
hert hatInear l
yki l
ledhi m.Hadt hatmanf rom next
doornotst oppedmeI '
dhaveki l
ledaman.The
fami lyjoi nedust oseehowshei s.Wewer eallsad
thatwehadt opost ponebutt heirr ecover yi smor e
i
mpor tant .Thedet ectivecamet otellust hat
Nomvul awasar rested.Shemi ghtbeoutsoonbut
I'
m sur eBongawi l
lbei nf oral ongwhi le.Hedughi s
owngr avebyhavi ngdr ugswor t
hR250000i nhi s
trunk.I '
m sur ehewasmaki ngadel i
ver ycl osebyor
wascol lectingst ock.Mmacal ledt ot alktoher
daught erandwascr yingovert hephone.Idon' t
everwantt oseemywi feabusedl iket hatagai n.I
can'tbel ieveshest ayedwi t
ht hatt hingf orsomany
year .Howmanyt imeshashenotdr aggedherl i
ke
thati nt hepast ?HadIcomel aterhemi ghthave
kill
edher .Iwoul dnothavesur vivedl osi ngher .I'l
l
alwaysmakesur emyphonei schar gedf rom now
on.IthankGodIwasnearby.I 'm notsur ei
fNt ombi
andLwaziwi llhavetraumati
cflashbackaf tert
his
butwewi lldealwithitshoul
dithappened.It hanked
mynewl i
ttl
ebrotheragain.MakhuleMl andukept
tel
li
ngMrPot it
hatthenegotiat
ionsshoul dhave
happenedi nPeddieandIagr eewithher .There
Ntombiwoul dnothavebeenal one.Heruncl ekept
aski
ngmehowmuchmoneyIhavewhi l
eatt he
hospital
.Whataf reakingday!
[
03/
28,
17:
16]Lynne:FORTYTHREE

NTOMBI

I'
vehear dpeoplesaythatl i
fewillputyoutothetest
unt i
lyouarestrongenough.Idon' tthinkIcanget
mor estrongerthanIalreadyam.Li feshouldjust
givemeabr eaknow.It hinkIdeservei t
.Thi
s
i
nci dentwithBongahasmadet hebondbet ween
mybr ot
herandIst r
onger .Wegotal ongbeforebutI
thinkhavinganeardeat hexperiencet oget
her
strengthenedourrelat
ionship.Hei ndeeddidthejob
ofstandingbyt hegat eandbei ngmessenger
betweenourf ami lyandLi yema' swhi letheyst ood
outsideaskingt ocomei n.Hesayshemadet hem
payt oo.Thenegot i
ati
onswentwel landmy
husbandandIcoul dfinall
ybeamar r
iedcoupl e
publicl
y.Nomvul agotbai lbutherf ami l
yi stoo
broket opayi tandTat arefusest obai lherout .
Nolwazipackedever ythingofher sandwentt oher
aunt'splace.Shei nsomanywor dst oldmet hatshe
hatedme.Iknowshei sagoodchi ldandI 'm hopi ng
thatsomedayshewi llseehowwr onghermot her
wasandwecanbui ldar elati
onshi p.Ithinkshewi l
l
needmeasbi gsistertohaveal lthose
uncomf ortableconver sati
onsaboutboys, sexand
suchwi thbutIwi lll
etherr eachouti nherownt ime.
FornowIwi llnott rytoconvi ncehert oloveme
becauseIdonotf eel badf orhermot herbei ngi njail
.
Bongai sst i
llinhospi talwithtwobr okenr ibs.
Liyemanear lyki l
ledhi m andIwasnotaboutt o
j
udgenorf aul tmyhusbandf orpr otecti
ngmy
brotherandI .Ithinkmostofusi fnotal lare
capableofki lli
ngwhenourl ivesort heoneswel ove
areindanger .Iwr oteNomvul aal engthyl etternot
toi nsultherbutt otellhert hatIhavef or givenher
compl etely.Inol ongerwantt ocar ryt hef earand
hat eIhadf orher .I'
m aboutt ost artanewl ife.I
haveaf ami lyofmyownnowandi nsomewei r
d
twistedwayshemadei tpossi bl
ebysel lingmet o
Bonga.Idon' tcar ewhatshedoeswi t
hmy
forgivenesst hati sbet weenherandGodbutIknow
I'
mf ree.IaskedLi yemat ot akemet ot hehospi talto
seeBonga.Iwant edt ot el
lhi mt hatIf orgi vehi mt oo.
Liyemar efusedandt oldmet owr it
ehi m al ett
ertoo
soIdi d.Iwant edt ot ellhimt ohi sf acebutIguessI
willdot hatonedaywhenmyhusbandhascool ed
off.lateronwewi l
lwewi llbegoi ngt oMt ataand
tomor rowt oLi yema' sf ami lysot hatIcanbe
officiallywel comedt ot heirf ami l
y.I '
m aner vous
wr eck.Hi sgr andmot herhasbeencal li
ngt oask
howI 'm doi ngbecausehehadt ot ellherwhat
happenedbecauseever ythi nggotdel ayedbecause
Iwasnotwel lforaf ewdaysaf t
ert heat tack.I
thoughtshewoul dsayI 'm wast ingt hef ami ly'
st i
me
butshesoundedsot hought fulont hephonewhen
Liyemaputheronspeakerphone.Mymot her '
s
cousi nwi l
lbet heonet o“ handmeover ”tomynew
familybecauseshedidnothaveanysi
sters.Mr sE
i
si nMt at
aalreadywi
ththeboys.Imi
ssmybabi es
somuch.Li yemaandhisuncleshavel
eftalready
too.Iwasbusypackingmyst uf
fwhenMakhul u
camei n.

Makhul
u:“
I'
m soproudofyou.You'
reamot
herand
nowyouwil
loff
ici
all
ybeamakot i
,
”shesmi
led.

Nt
ombi
:“Anyt
ips?
”

Makhulu:“Famili
esarenotthesame,mybaby.AllI
cantel
lyoui sthatnotal
lwi
lll
ikeandwantyou
ther
ebutyouneedt orememberthatyoumarr
ied
thei
rson,notthem,”
Nt
ombi
:“Ar
en'
ttheyapar
toft
hepackage?
”
Makhulu:“Yesli
kewear eapartofyourpackage
butwewi l
lnotgooutofourwayt omeddleinyour
marri
age.Mar r
iagemightnotbeeasybutwhen
donewiththerightper
sonital
lbecomeswor thi
t.
Whenyougett oyouri nlawsjustbeyoursel
f.If
theydon' tl
ikewhoyouar et
henokaybutdon' tyou
dareal l
owt hem todisr
espectyou,Ntombi.Makeit
clearfrom thestartt
hatyouwon' tt
oler
ate
disrespect,
”
Ntombi:“
I'
m scar
ed,
Makhul
u,”shesmi
ledand
huggedme.

Makhul u:“I
tisallnormal.Ift
heyar elikeyour
mot herinlawandhusbandt henyouhavenot hing
tofear.Mot herinlawsandsi stersareusuall
ythe
oneswhomakel i
fehel
lforamakot ibutyour
mot herin-l
awl ovesyou.Thatshoul dmaket hi
ngsa
biteasier.I
naf ewyear sti
meyouwi l
lknowthem all
sowel landwhenLungi l
ebr i
ngshi swi f
eyou'l
lbe
theonet ohol dherhand.Ever ythi
ngwi l
lworkout
well,
”shesai dwhi l
erubbingmyback.

Nt
ombi:“
Whent heydotreatmebadly.DoIgot
o
Li
yemawitheveryt
hing,
”shelaughedsof
tl
y.
Makhul u:“
Ther earebigissuesyoushoul dbri
ngup
withhim shouldtheytrulyhur tyou.Heistheone
whot ookyout ohi sf
ami l
ysohei sobli
gatedto
protectyouf r
om them shoul dtherebeaneed.But
therearethingsyouwi l
lbeabl etohandl
eyoursel
f
thathewi l
lbeshockedt ol earnaboutonyour
twentyyearsanni ver
sary,”webot hlaughed.

Ntombi
:“Whatwer
eyouli
kewhenyouwer
etaken
t
oTamkhulu'
sfamil
y?”
Makhul u:“Whuuu,mybabymyj ourneywasat ough
one.Iwasver ball
yabusedbymymot herin-
law.
AfterI'
vecleanedshewoul dredoitagaincalli
ngme
useless.Whatmadei tworsewaswel ivedwith
them forthefi
rstthreeyearsofourmar ri
age.Idid
nottellyourgrandfatheraboutitbecauseIwas
taughtthatawomanhol dtheknifebytheshar pend.
InearlydiedyoungsoIwi l
lnotgiveyout hatadvice.
Ifsomet hi
ngisbeyondyou, t
ellyourhusband,”
Nt
ombi
:“ButIdon'
twantt
obeseenasaweakl
ing,
”
Makhul u:“Trustmehewi l
lappreciat
eit
.Thelast
thi
nghewant sisforyoutosuf f
erandendup
havi
ngast r
oke.Tamkhulusai dIshouldhavetol
d
him andt hatmademer eali
zethatourhusbands
don'tknowwhatt heirf
amiliesdot ousint
heir
absence.I tisuptoyout olethim knowsohewi l
l
putast opt oit
,”

Nt
ombi :“
Ihearyou,Maandt
hankyouforyourwi
se
words.Theyhavenotmademelessscar
edbutI
wi
llrememberthem.

Mkahulu:“
Youst ar
tedoffonagoodfoot
.Yougave
them f
ourboys.Ift
hatdoesnotear
nyousome
point
sIdon'tknow,”webothl
aughed.

Nt
ombi
:“Poi
nts?
”

Makhul
u:“
In-
lawar
est
rangepeopl
e,mydear
,”
Iprayt heyar enott oost range.Idon' tthinkIcan
dealwi thbei nghat edf ornoappar entr eason.
LiyemaandIdeci dedt ohavet hebi gt raditionaland
perhapswhi teweddi ngonceI 'vef i
nishedwi t
hmy
studies.Iwantt ohelphi m wit
ht hecost sandI '
m
sureaf terthel obolahedoesnothavemoneyt o
spendonbi gweddi ngs.Wear ealreadymar riedand
ourf ami l
ieswi llhavet owai tafewyear sbef ore
theycancel ebr atewi t
husof f
ici
al.Ourweddi ngwas
perfectwi thjustJakeasaguest .Af terever yone
fi
nishedpacki ngt heirbagswemadeourwayt o
Mt ata.Myt ummyf eltwei r
dduet othener ves.
Liyemacal l
edt oaskhowf arwewer e.Iknewhe
wasj ustusi ngt hatasanexcuset ocheckuponme.
Makhul umadesur ethatIhaveal ltheappr opr iat
e
clothesanewmakot iwillneed.Ist i
llcan' tbel ieveI
willbeamakot ibyt heendoft omor row.Iwi l
lf i
nall
y
beal lowedt osl eepi nmyhusband’ sar msagai n.
Wear rivedatourdest inati
onqui telat e.Liyema
camet ol eadt hewayt othehousest heyar ranged
accommodat i
onf orus.Heaskedt oseemeal one
andwesati nhi scar .Icannowdr i
vet oobutf ail
ed
mydr iver'stest .I'
l
ltryagai nsoon.
Li
yema:“Hey,”hekissedmepassionatel
yandf ora
momentIt houghtwewoul ddonaughtythingsin
hiscarbuthestopped.“Doyoureal
izethatithas
beendayssinceImadel ovetoyou.Days,baby,”he
saidandIlaughedsoftl
y.

Ntombi:“Imi
ssyout
oo,”Ikissedhi
m agai
n.“
I'
m
nervousaboutt
omor
row,Liyema,”hesmil
ed.

Liyema:“
Don'
tbe.Theyar
enicepeople.My
makhuluisl
ooki
ngforwar
dtofinal
lymeeti
ng
you,”
hesmil
ed.

Ntombi
:“Di
dyout
ellt
hem ever
ythi
ngaboutBonga
andNomvula?
”

Li
yema:“Iwouldneverhavedonesowi t
hout
speaki
ngtoyoufir
standitsnonofthei
rbusi
ness.
YouknowItoldthem wegotdelayedduetoabreak
i
natyourhouse.Tat
ahaskepthi
smouthshuttoo.
Evenift
heyknewthetr
uth,
youhavenot
hingt
of eel
ashamedof,
”

Ntombi
:“IguessIfeart
heywi
llt
hinkIbr
ingbad
l
uckint
oyourlif
e,”

Li
yema:“Thati
ssill
y.Justbeyour
sel
f.Iwon'
tal
l
ow
anyonet
obullyyou,
”
Nt
ombi
:”
Promi
se,
baby?
”Isai
dqui
etl
y.Heki
ssed
me.

Li
yema:“Ipromi
se,
”hesmil
ed.Makhul
uopenedt
he
doorandstoodt
her
eclear
lywai
ti
ngforme.

Theydostil
lremembert hatwearemarri
edright
?
Thenwhydoweneedt osneakaround?Igavehim
onesoftki
ssbef or
esayinggoodnightt
ohim.Imiss
hi
m alr
eady.Iwashopi nghewoul dcomewiththe
ki
dsbutitwast oolat
e.Iwentbackinsi
detotryand
sleep.Iwast ossingandt urningunt ilmybodyshut
i
tselfdown.Makhul uwokemeupear l
yi nt he
mor ningsayi ngi twi llbegoodpr act icef ort het ime
I'
llhavet owakeupear lytomaket eaandpor r
idge
formyi n-l
aws.Doesamakot isti
llwakeupat4am?
Ihadsomet eabef or ebat hingandget ti
ngr eadyf or
thedayahead.Iwor emybl ackandwhi tet raditional
Xhosaat tir
e.Whenmyf ami lyandIgott oLi yema' s
houset her ewher eal otofpeopl e.I twasast hough
i
twasaweddi ngonl yt of i
ndoutt hati tisaweddi ng,
myt raditionalweddi ng.Whatwi thoutevent alking
tome?Wewer ewel comedsowel lbyhi sf ami ly.We
wer etakeni nt othehuget entandi twasdecor ated
wi t
ht r
adi t
ionalbl ackandwhi tethatmat chedmy
dress.Thesi ngi nggavemegoosebumps.Di dt his
manpl anasur priseweddi ngcel ebr ation?It hought
Iwoul dj ustcomeandbemadeamakot i
,nott hi s.
Liyemaandhi spar ent swer est andi ngatt hef ront
singing.If orgotal lelsewhenIsawhi mi nhi sbl ack
andwhi tetradit i
onalcl othes.Hewasbar echest ed
wi t
hmanybl ueandwhi tebeadshangi ngourhi s
chestandonear oundhi shead.Thepeopl ei nt he
tentwentcr azywi thcheer i
ngandsi ngingwhenI
wal kedinsi de.Myboyswi ggledthemsel vesoutof
thear msoft hepeopl ewhower ehol dingt hem and
allcamet ome.Ican' tpickthem al lupsoIj ust
huggedt hem.Theyt hencl ungt omydr ess.My
babi esmusthavewonder edwher et hehel lIwas.
Liyemawal kedcl osert omewi thabi gsmi leonhis
face.I'm sur ehecoul dseet heconf usiononmy
face.Het ookmyhandandwedancedt ot he
rhythm oft hesongt heysangunt i
lwegott othe
front.Ther eempt ytabl esont hef rontandI '
m
guessi ngi twasr eservedf ormyf ami l
y.Ilookedat
Makhul ubutshewast oobusysi ngingandcheer i
ng
toevenl ookatme.Li yemaandIwentt ositatthe
mai ntabl ewi t
hourboyscl i
ngingont ousast hough
wewoul dl eavet hem.I twasal otoff unandwas
beaut i
fulbutIwasnotexpect ingitatal l.EvenMr s
B, Zim andherhusbandar eher e.Iwavedatt hem
andsmi led.Ther eIwasi nat entwi t
hmostpeopl e
beingcompl etest r
anger swi t
hnoi deaofwhati s
happeni ng.Wesatdownandanel derlyman
wel comedever yone, especiallymyf ami ly.
Ntombi:“
Baby,whathappenedt
odoi
ngt
hisonl
y
l
ateron?”Il
ookedatLiyema.

Li
yema:“ Iwasjustasshockedasyouar e,
baby.
LastnightwhenIcamehomef r
om whereyouwer e,
Ifoundsomemenset tingupthetent
.Itseemsmy
grandmotherandmot herwerejustnothappywi th
nothavingacelebrat
ion.I'
m sorr
yfornottell
ingyou.
Ifearedyou'
dgetover whelmedandnotwantt o
come, ”
Ntombi
:“Wel
lInearl
yturnedaroundandwent
homewhenIsawt hesepeople,
”Olookedathi
m.

Li
yema:“
Andwhatst
oppedyou?
”hesmi
led.

Ntombi:“Il
oveyout
hankyourancest
orst
hatIdo,
”
helaughed.

Li
yema:“
Iloveyoumoreandyoul
ooksobeaut
if
ul,
myXhosaQueen,”Ibl
ushed.
Nt
ombi:“
Youlookhandsomet oo,
King,”heki
ssed
meandever
yonecheered.Ihaveneverinmylif
e
bl
ushedt
hatmuch.

Whydi dheki ssme?Oncet hespeechesf rom the

eldersf rom bot hourf ami lieswer edonet heymade
uswal kdownt her oadsot hecommuni tycansee
thatwear emar ried.Ihel dhi shandwhi l
ewel edour
guest swhower esi ngingbehi ndus.I twast oo
magi cal.Itwasal lgoingwel lunt
ilIsawZi ngisaor
atleastsomeonewhol ookedl i
keherbet weent he
crowd.I tseemedshewaswi thLiyema' scousi n
sister.IguessI '
l
lbei nhershadowi nthi
sf ami l
yjust
asIf ear ed.Idon' tthi
nkLi yemasawher .Wewent
backt oenj oyt hef oodt hatwascookedbyt helocal
womenoft hecommuni tyandot herdaught erin
l
awsoft hef amily.Af t
ert hecel ebr at
ionsitwast i
me
formet ogoandchange.Iwasdr essedinmy
makot iatti
reint heblazi nghotAf ricansunwhi l
e
sitt
ingonagr assmat .Thecoolf eelofthet il
eson
mybum f eltgreatbecauseIwassweat i
ng
under neatht het owelandcheckedbl anketIhadon.
Mybl ackdoekwashal finmyeyes, almostcover i
ng
them.Asheepwassl aughteredandIgotf eda
specialpar tmadef oranewmakot i.Itdidnott aste
greatbuti twasedi ble.Isatont hematwi thmy
headbowedl i
steni ngt otheel der l
ywomengi veme
mar i
taladvi ceandsomewi sewor dsandt i
pst ouse
asamar r
iedwoman.Mybum hadst art
edt ofeel
numb.Iwasgi vent henameLakhi webecauseby
mebei ngapar toft hef amil
yi thasgr ownnotj ust
becauseIj oinedi tbutIcamewi thfourot herpeopl e
too.Ilovedt henameal ot.Iwi shLul onkegavei tt
o
meher selfbutatl eastshewashonor edsomehow.
Liyemawascal ledi nandwast oldwhatmynew
namei sasi fhedi dnt oknowal ready.Thenmy
husbandwentanddi dt heunt hinkabl e.Hewentt o
getapi ll
owf ormet osi ton.WhyLi yema, why?I
couldnotevent al
kt ohim abouti tsoIl if
tedmy
bum of fthematandl ethim slidet hepi ll
owunder
mybum.It hinkhehasj ustdugmygr aveinthis
family.Iwi l
lfor everbeknownast hesof tl
ynow.
Mor ewor dsofwi sdom wer egi vent obothofus.Hi s
grandmot heraskedt hatIpl easegoandmaket ea
fort hem onceever ythingwasdone.IgaveLi yema
thedeat hst are.Howdar ehe?I twasconsi derateof
him buti twasnott her i
ghtthingt odo.Si sNomt ha
whowasoneoft heseni ormakot i'
sint hef ami l
y
showedmewher eIcanf i
ndever ything.Ther ewer e
othermakot 'stoobutt heywer ebusywi thot her
things.Imadet heteaandcof feeformyhusband' s
fami lyandser vedi ttot hem whi l
ekneel ingont he
fl
oor .Ididnotwantmybut ttobei none' sfacewhi le
ser vingtheot her.Ileftthem andwentbackt othe
kitchent okeepmysel fbusyandt oasksi sNomt ha
whatImustdoandwhatt imet hef ami l
yhast heir
breakf astsoIwoul dsetmyal armi nt ime.WhenI
wasaboutt owal kint othemai nkitchenIhear d
voices.I tsoundedl i
keFezi weandKhol eka,
Liyema' scousi nstal ki
ng.Theywer et heonesIsaw
wal kingwi t
ht heladyt hatlookedl i
keZi ngisa.

Fezi:“
Idon'
tknowwhatLiyemasawinher.Sheis
notevenbeauti
ful
,
”shesaid.Herwor
dscutdeep,
verydeep.
Khol
i:“
Thathewoul
dleaveabeautif
ulyel
lowbone
l
ikeZi
ngiforMi
ssDusty,
”If
eltl
ikecryi
ng.

Fezi:“
Ihear
dshedraggedhimt
ocourtsothey
couldgetmarr
iedi
nsecret
.Howdesperat
ecana
personbe?”

Kholi
:“Mntase,thewayshecamei ntohislif
e
cl
earlyshowst hatsheplannedever ythi
ng.Wher e
haveyouhear damanendsupmar ryinghis
surr
ogatemot her?WitchcraftIt
ellyou!”they
l
aughed.Ididnotwantt ost andandl i
stenbutI
wantedthem togetoutsoI '
ddomywor k.Icoul
d
notcryandlookl i
keaweakl ing.

Fezi:“Thel
aststrawwast hepill
ow,mnt ase,
”they
l
aughedoutl oad.WhydidLi yemaevendot hat
?“I
wantt oknowwhatshef edhi m soIcangeti tf
or
myman.Hedi dnotevendot hatf
orZingisa.
Zingisawasawi ntermakotiandsatont hosecold
ti
lesandnotoncedi dhebr i
ngherapi l
lowbutmi ss
Dust
yisasummermakot
iwhogotapi
ll
ow,
”

Kholi
:“Thedamnmakot iclot
hesdon' tsui
ther
anyway.Ial
waysthoughtdar kski
nnedwomenwer e
notasbeauti
fuli
nthem asl i
ghtskinnedones,
”.
Someoneclearedthei
rthroatbehindme.

Ilookedbehindandf oundLi yema'sgranny

standingbehindme.Iwasaboutt oexplainwhyI
stoodoutsidethekitchendooreavesdr opping
i
nst eadofhelpi
ngt heot herladi
eswhenshet ook
myhandandl edmei nside.I'
m suresheisgoi ngto
tellmetonevereverl ist
ent otheconversati
onsof
thef ami
lyagain.Iwasshockedt ofindZingisa
standingwiththegirl.Sheevenheadaheadwr ap
aroundherhead.Theyal lsuddenlywentsi l
ent.It
wassoawkwar dandIj ustwantedt ogohome.

MakhuluElephant:“
Fezi
wehowol dar
eyou?”,she
askedwhil
elookingatFez.Fezst
oodwit
hamout h
ful
loft
eeth.“Iaskedyouaquesti
on,
”sheadded.
Fezi
:“For
ty,
Makhul
u,'
shesai
dsof
tl
y.

MakhuluE:“ Andyouwoul
dknowhow
uncomfortablesi
tt
ingont
hefl
oorforhour
sis
becauseyou'vebeenamakot
i,r
ight?
”sheasked
sarcast
ical
ly

Fezi
:“Ihaveneverbeenamakot
i,Mkahul
u,”she
sai
dsof t
ly.

MakhuluE:“ Sowhatgi vesyout heri

ghtt otalkli
ke
thatwhenyou' veneverknownwhati tf eel
sliketo
sitonthatmatf orhoursli
steningtoeldersgoon
andon?I fIeverhearyout al
kaboutwhatLi yema
didforhiswife,HISWI FE!
,notyours,therewi l
lbe
troubl
e.Kholihowar eyou? ”
,sheasked.Khol i
l
ookedaway.Ij ustst
oodlooki ngatt
hegr eyki t
chen
ti
leswhileherhandwashol dingmine.
Khol
i:“
36,
Makhul
u,”

Makhul
uE:“Andyouwoul dknowwhatki ndofa
womanmakot iclot
hessui
tbestbecauseyou've
beenamakotiright
?”,
sheaskedsarcast
ical
ly.

Khol
i:“
I'
veneverbeenamakot
i,Makhul
u,”shesai
d
qui
etl
y.Cl
earl
yinshame.

Mahul uE:“ThenIneverwanttohearyouspeak
aboutthingsyouknownothingabout,
mychildr
en.
Letthatbethelastt
ime.Andyouwhyar eyou
here?”,shel
ookedatZingi
sa.

Fezi
:“Ther
eisnodivor
ceinourcult
ure,Makhul
u.
Weinvit
edher,
”shesaid.Makhul
ulaughedwhil
e
l
ookingtothecei
li
ng.

Makhl
uE:“
Getmar
ri
edf
ir
standcomet
alkt
ome
aboutmar ri
ageandwhati sall
owedornot .Idon't
mindyoui nviti
ngyourf r
iendbutsheisdressedl i
ke
amakot iofthishouseholdwhensheknowsshei s
not.Mygi r
l,yourjourneyshouldhaveendedwher e
therestoftheot herguestsended,att
hetent.Now
youareint heElephantkitchenli
keyousti
llbelong
here,
”

Kholi
:“But,
Makhul
u,”shesai
dinamumbl
ing
whisper.

MakhuluE:: ”
Iwil
lsl
apyou, Kholeka,”shepoi ntedat
Kholi
.“Whydi dyounottellyourf r
iendst hatyour
famil
yreturnedourcows?Notbecauseweasked
them backbutbecauset heycoul dnotl ivewi ththe
guil
tofkeepingthem aft
eryoushamedourson.
That,mydearmeant her
ei snor elati
onsbet ween
yourfamilyandtheElephant s.Youar eaguesther e,
andwhati shappeni
ngher ei sforf amily.Goout si
de
anddancewi ththerestofther emai ningguest sand
takeyourfri
endswhoi nvit
edyouher ewi thbecause
myson'snewwi fewant stouset hekit
chen,”she
order
ed.“Stopf oll
owi ngLiyemabehi nd,man.What
haveyoubr oughtt othisfami l
yt hatcanmakeusbe
proudtohavecal l
edyouoneofus? ”shesai dwhil
e
l
ookingatZi ngisa.Ther ewascompl etesilence.I
wanteditalltostop.“ Nothing!Yougavet heHl ubi
cl
anshamef ul
lstop.Lookatt hi
s,”shepoi ntedat
me.“Thisisawi f
e.Bef oresheevenwasoneofus
sheprovedi ttousbygi vi
ngusf ourblessings.Four
boysinonedayt ot el
lust hatshemeantbusi ness
andmadehermar kinthisfami l
y,”sheadded.

Iwant edt ojustbeswal l

owedbyt heear thandhi de.
Whyshoul dawomanhavechi l
dr en, especiall
ysons
i
nor derforhert obeseenasat ruewi feinAf r
ican
fami li
es?Ithoughtt hatstoppedal ongt i
meagobut
clearlynot.Itseemsmyboyshavemademeear n
somer espectint heElephantfami ly.Thet hree
l
adi esmadet heirwayoutwi thtalesbet weent hei
r
l
egs.I 'm sur
eI '
llbehat edmoref ort his.Makhul uE
heldmychi nandr ai
sedmyheadsoI '
dlookather .I
wasnotsur ewher etolookbutshet oldmet olook
ather.Thecommandi nhervoicewasint
imidat
ing
tosaytheleast.If orthefir
stti
mehadachancet o
l
ookatherwr i
nkledf ace.Shewasabeaut i
fulold
woman.Sheonl yhadf ourteet
hinhermouthandI
wil
lhavet oaskLi yemawhatt hestor
yisbecause
I'
m surethereisonebehi ndit.

MakhuluE:“Don'
tcowertohisfi
rstwif
e,Lakhiwe.
Shehadherchanceandbl ewit
.Thisisyour
husbandnow,actli
kehiswif
eandt el
lZingi
sa
wheretogetoff
.IknowLiyemaalreadyhasbut
maybesheneedsyout obetheonet osayit,
”

Nt
ombi
:“Idi
dnotwantt
ocauseconf
li
ct,
Makhul
u,”
Makhul u:“I
t'
scal lednotallowingpeopl et ostep
overyou.Youar et eachi
ngt hem todi srespectyou
andt heywilltreatyoul i
keamatandst eponyou.
Don'tmi ndthoset wograndchildrenofmi ne.They
diditwithallthedaught erin-l
awsher e.Alltheydo
i
sbr ingbabiesf rom diff
erentforeignmensoIt hi
nk
theygetenvi ouswhent heyseeanot herwoman
havesomet hingt
heywant.Wel comet ot
hefamil
y,
Khiwe.Yourteatasteswonderful.Iwasact
ual
lyon
mywayt oaskyout omakeusmor ewhenmyear s
gotfedhatefulwordsfr
om thoset hr
ee,
”shesmil
ed.

Nt
ombi:“I'
l
lcomegetthecupsandmakemor
e,
Makhul
u,”shesmi
ledandnodded.

Makhul:“
Thankyouforthebeauti
fulgr
eat
grandchi
ldr
en.Nowomanhasgi venussomany
heir
satonce,”webot
hlaughed.

Nt
ombi
:“I
'
m sur
e,Makhul
u,”

Makhul u:“
I'm noteasil
yimpressed,Khi
we.Askyour
mot herinlaw,”shelaughedsoftl
y.“Ohdidwehave
aroughst artbutIloveher.Ij
ustwantyout oknow
thatasidefrom thosetwo,weallloveyou.Wel oved
youj ustbyseeinghowLi yemagl owsbeforewe
evenmetyou.Pl easetakecareofthatsoftheart
.
Heisal l“
I'm aman”, sheletherchestoutina
supermanposeandwel aughed.“Butinsi
deisa
soft
ly.Heusedt ostayi ndoor salotwhilet
heother
chi
ldrenwer eoutsi
de.Hewasal waysasensiti
ve
chi
ld.I'm notsayi
ngswal l
owt heshit
”,shesai
dthe
swearwor dinawhisperandcover edhermouth
whil
el aughingsoft
ly.“Ifhetreatsyoubad,youtel
l
bothfami l
ies,wewillputhimi nplace,
”
Ntombi:“
Iwil
l,
Makhulu.Thankyouf
ort
hewar
m
welcome,
”Ismiled.

Makhulu:“
Don'ttal
ktoyourmot
her
,shewil
ltel
lyou
anot
herstoryaboutmewhenshefi
rstst
eppedfoot
i
nthishouse,”
Mr sE:“
Youmeanl ikehowyouonceputsal tinmy
teainst
eadofsugarandmanyot herspit
efulthi
ngs
I'
vehadt oendure?”shesai
dwhi l
ewal ki
nginand
bothwomanl aughedwhi l
eMr sE'sarmswr apped
aroundhermot herinlawsshoul
ders.

Makhul
u:“
Idi
dnotl
ikehow“
whi
te”youact
edback
t
hen,
youhavesincel
ower
edt
hewest
ernways,
”
t
heybot
hlaughed.

MrsE:“But
,Mama,”shelookedatMakhuluwhi
le
shaki
ngherhead.“
Seethewomanmysonchooses
whennopressurei
sputonhi m?”shesai
dwhil
e
l
ookingatme.

Makhul
u:“
IseeandIlovehi
stast
e,”t
heybot
h
smi
ledwhi
leIbl
ushed.

Ntombi:“Letmegogetthecupsandmakemoret
ea.
Iwil
lbeback,”t
heybothsmil
edandnodded.I
walkedtothedoor
.

Mr
sE:“
Lakhi
we”It
urnedt
olookather
.

Nt
ombi
:“Ma,
”
Mr
sE:“Ij
ustwantedtoseei
fyouknowyourname,
mybaby,
”wealll
aughed.

Iwentt ogett het reysandt heboyssoonf ollowed

mel ikenoot her .Theywer esodi rt
y.Iguessher e
theygetachancet opl ayindi rt
.Theel dersl oved
myt ea.If eltsogoodaboutmysel f.SisNomt hat ol
d
met hatIwi l
lbei nchar geoft hemor ningdut i
es.I
willhavet owakeup, maket eaf oral lt
heel der sand
thenf irstmakesof tpor r
idgef ortheent i
re
househol dwhi chhad21peopl eint otalforthe
festiveseason.Andt henl ateralsomakepr oper
breakf asti nfr om ofeggs, bread, thewor ks.ThenI '
l
l
helpt heot hermakot i'swi t
hcl eaning.Justhear ing
herexpl ai
ni tt omemademet iredf ortomor row
already.Ihel pedpr epar edinnerf orover30peopl e
becausesomeoft heguest swi llonlyl eave
tomor row.Li yema' sot hercousi nshel pedmepeel
theveggi es.I tseemst heywer en'tal lbad.Inf actI
mighthavebef r
iendedoneort wo.Mymot heri nlaw
andgr andmot herinl awar et r
uegems.Iwast oo
busyt oseemyhusbandbutatl eastwear enow
all
owedt oshar ear oom soi t'
sont onight .Ever yone
ateandhadt heirfil
l.Wewashedt hebi gpot sand
dishes.Myf eetwer eki l
li
ngme.Imustt ellLiyema
thatwemustonl yst ayaweekort wo.Ican' tspend
theent ireDecemberhol i
dayl i
ket his.Iwantt o
spendt i
meatt hebeachwi tht hem bef orevar sity
star t
s.Af t
erever yonehadgonet obedaf ter
mi dnightandi twascl eanthedaught erinl aws
coul dfinallyputt ool sdownandgot obed.Li yema
mysel fandt heboyswer eaccommodat edi noneof
thedecent lysizedhut sinthef ami lycompound.I
foundt heboyssl eepi ngal ready.Atl eastt hebed
l
ookedbi genoughf ort hesi xofus.Ial sohadt ogo
getasmal lbasi ntowashmysel f.Aftersl aving
awayt heent ireday, Iwassweat ing.Ihadt owash
whi leLiyemasatandwat chedmeasi fhewas
wat chingTV.Hewentt oempt ythebasi naf terI
fi
ni shedandcamebackt ohugmynakedbodyf rom
theback.It urnedt of acehi m andki ssedhi m.We
wer etiredbutwebot hjustwant edeachot herso
much.
Ntombi:“
Whataboutt
heki
ds,
baby?
”heki
ssedmy
neckandIwasinanot
herwor
ld.

Li
yema:“ Theyaresl
eepi
ngandIcamepr epared,
”
hesaid.Hewentt odr
agoutasinglebedsponge
andcover edi
twithabl
anket
.Ilaughedsomuch.
“I
'
vemi ssedyousoIwasnotaboutt oletthosefour
standinmyway.Comecl osersoIcanshowyou
howmuchImi ssedyou,
”Ibl
ushedandwal ked
cl
osertohi m.

WhowasIki dding?Imi ssedhim muchmor e.We

keptt hi
ngsasqui etaspossi ble.I'
m surewear e
badpar entsfordoingt hiswhileourkidswer e
sleepinginthesamer oom butwecoul dnothelpit
andt hiswasgoingt oourar r
angementf orafew
mor edays.Wedeci dedt ojustsleepont hefl
oor
andl ettheboyshavet hebed.Il aidont opofhim
aftermakinglove.

Li
yema:“
Lakhi
we,
”
Nt
ombi
:“Ndl
ovu,
”

Li
yema:“ Iloveyousomuch.Baby.I
'
m gl
adt
he
Elephantgangknowsyou.Howwasyourday?I
'
m
sureyou’retir
ed,
”heki
ssedme.

Ntombi:“
Iam exhaust
ed,
babybutyourf
ami
lyhas
welcomedmewel lsomydaywasgood.SoIl
ove
myname, ”hesmil
ed.

Li
yema:“
Ilovei
ttoo,
Lal
a.”HESMI
LED.

Ntombi:“
Baby,whydi dn'tyousuggestitforZi
ngisa.
Imeanwhenyoumar riedher,youthoughtyou'd
spendtherestofyourlif
ewi t
hherandcoul dnot
haveimaginedthatIwoul dbeyourwife,”Il
ookedat
him.
Li
yema:“Idon'tknow,baby.IguessIfeltshewas
myf amil
y'sbr
ideandnotmi nesoIletthem name
herorperhapsmyi nst
inct
stoldmet hatitwasnot
meantforher.Ireal
lydon'
tknow,”hesaidwhile
brushi
ngmyback.

Ntombi:“
OkayIhearyou.Sotellmewhereare
Makhulu'
sothert
eet
h,”helaughedoutandIhadt
o
putmyhandoverhismout h.“
Baby,t
hekids,
”I
warned.

Liyema:“ Areyoumaki ngfunofourgr andmot her'

s
teeth,LakhiweElephant?”helaughedsof t
ly.“Well
shehadal otofbadteeth.Theyhavenotdecayed
butt heycausedherpai nsothedentistsuggestshe
takest hem al
loutbecausesheonl yhadf our“ good”
teeth.Shet ol
dthedent i
sttotakeoutthebadand
l
eavehergoodonest hehellaloneandshef launts
thoset eethli
kenothi
ngi swrong,”webot hlaughed.

Nt
ombi
:“Il
oveher
,”
Liyema:“
Shelovesyou.Youwonthehear
tofthe
familymatr
iar
chlikeIsai
dyouwoul
d.Shetol
dme
youhadsomer uninswit
hmycousi
nsbutthey
don'tmatt
er,
”

Ntombi:“Andthepi
ll
ow,whatwast
hest
orywi
th
t
hat,Ndlovu?”hesmil
ed.

Li
yema:“Idi
dnotwantyoutogetpi
les,
”helaughed
sof
tl
y.“
It
'sjustr
idi
cul
oust
hatyouhadtositonthe
damnfl
oorforhours,
”

Ntombi:“
Thankyou,babybutyounearl
y
compromisedmyreputat
ion,
”helaughed.

Li
yema:“I
'
m sor
ry.Ij
ustwantedthesesof
t
cushi
onstor
estonasoftpi
ll
ow,”hesqueezedbut
t
andIcoul
dnothel
pbutsmileandblush.
Wecoul dnotevengof orr oundt wobecauseour
bodi esdi dnotal lowit.Isetmyal armf orsuper
ear l
ysi nceI'llbei nchar geoft hebr eakfastshif t
.I
gotupsuperear lywhi leLiyemaandt hekidswer e
stil
lf astasleep.Iwashedmyf ace,brushedmy
teethandgotdr essed.Ipl annedonbat hinglat er.I
wentt otheki tchent ogetbusy.Si sNomt hadi dnot
havet owakeupwi t
hmebutshedi d, shehel pedme
alot .Shel etmedoever ythingbutshemadesur eI
didi taspr eferredbyt hef ami l
y.Iwasst il
lsleepy
andwant edast rongcupofcof f
ee.Iser vedt he
elder stheircof f
eesandt easandsomeaskedf or
thesconest hatwer eleftyest erday.WhenIwas
doneIwentt ocookmai zemealsof tporri
dgewhi ch
Iser vedt otheent i
refami l
y, wellthosewhower eup
already.Atabout10am t heent irehousewasupand
Imadet hem al l
, eggs,sausagewi thtoastallwhi l
e
theboyscl ungt omydr ess.Mypoorbabi es
per hapsdi dnotunder standwhymommygave
ever yonebutt hem at tention.Usual lywhenI 'm
aroundmor ningsar etheirsbutnotnow.Li yemagot
them allfedandbat hedandIcoul dj ustkisshim.
Notthatheneedst ober ewardedf orlookingaf ter
hischildrenbutinsuchsi t
uationsthehusband
doesnothavet imefortakingcareofbabi es
becausehewasbusyt alki
ngt oothermen.Li ymea
didjointheot hermenaf t
erhegott hem r eady
thought hat’
swhyIcoul djustkisshi mt osayt hank
you.IthinkwomanneedsomeActt opr otectthem
againstthemakot iduti
est hough.Thi sistorture.
Mostoft hewomanwer eintheki t
chenwhen
Zingisawal kedinlooki
ng..
.dif
ferent.Shehadno
makeuponandherski nhadsomedar kspot s.Her
hairwasal soabi tofamess.

Zingi
sa:“Wher
eismymakeupandweave?”she
saidrudel
ywhil
elooki
ngar
ound.“
Khol
idi
dyoutake
them?”
Kholi
:“Igaveitback.Wowyoul
ooksodi
ff
erent
wit
houtit,Zi
ngi,
”
Makhul
u:“
Youmeanuglyli
keherhearti
s?”
,she
si
ppedonhert
ea.Shel
ovestea,
myt ea.
Mr
sE:“
Ma!
”,shesai
dsof
tl
y.

Makhulu:“IknowIsaidwhatyouallwerethinki
ng,
sothankme.Wedonotknowwher eyourclayand
horsetai
lis,
”shesaidcal
mly.Zingi
salef
tinar ush.
Ihadbettertr
eatLi
yemarightorImightfi
ndmysel f
l
ikeZingi
.

MrsE:“Mama,didyoutakeit?”,
shel ookedather
motheri
nlawbutMakhuluj ustlaughedsoftl
y,
f
lashi
ngherfourwhit
eteethandsi ppedonhert ea.
“
Iknowhowspi t
efulyoucanbe, ”sheadded.

Makhulu:“Lakhi
we,ist
heremoreoft
hescones,
Ma
El
ephantjunior,
”Il
aughedsof
tl
y.Shejustat
e
br
eakfast.

Nt
ombi
:“No,
Makhul
ubutIcanbakeaf
ew,
”
Makhulu:“
Bake,mygr
andchi
ld.Ij
ustshakewhenI
don'
teatscones,
”
Mr
sE:
”Si
ncewhen?
”

Makhul
u:“Si
nceIhaveanewmakotiwhobakes
wel
l,
”sheanswer
edsarcast
ical
ly

Mr
sE:“Thi
sismyson'
swi
fe.Meani
ngmydaught
er,
mymakoti
,
”

Makhulu:“Don'tstar
twit
hme.Iwi l
lburymoreof
yoursui
tslikeIdidwiththatgreenuglyoneyou
cameher ewear i
ngyearsago,”Mr sEputherhand
overhermout h.

MrsE:“
Mamat hatwasmyfavor
it
esui
t.I
'm sur
e
youbur
iedt
hatgir
l’
shai
randmakeuptoo,
”

Makhul
u:“
Wheni
thur
tmyeyes,
Ibur
yit
,”shesai
d
casual
ly.

Mr
sE:Peopl
ewi
llcal
lyouawi
tch,
”shewhi
sper
ed.

Makhul u:“Myshortageoft eet

halreadymakethem
thinksoanywaysoImi ghtaswel lhavefunwithit
thencryaboutopinionsofot hers.Iknowmyt r
uth,
"
shesaid.shewast hechilledandcl ear
lyal
so
sneakyper sonIhavemet .couldshehavet hr
own
Zingi'
sthingsaway?

Nowt heki t
chenwasf i
ll
edwi t
hf amil
ywhol ost
thi
ngthatMakhul ucl ai
medt onotl i
ke.Nowt hey
sayshehi dt hem orgotr i
doft hem.shej ust
l
aughedbef oreslowl ymakingherwayout side.I
knowshe' snotawi tchbutshei sachar acterthat'
s
forsure.Ifi
nal l
yhadt i
met otakeabat hwhen
Lungil
et ookt heboysonacarr i
detotownwi thhim.
Beinganewmakot iisnotj oke.Thewor kalmost
neverends.It hinkIwi l
lputmynewnamei nmyI D
thati
showmuchIl ovei t
.Ili
kehowt hef amilykids
callme" sisKhi we"andmyhusbandwhenhesays
"Lala".
IcalledmyMakhul ut
ot ellherhowmyf i
rst
nightinmynewf amil
ywas.Shewasgl adtohear
noonet ri
edt ost r
anglemewhi chmademewonder
whatmypoorgr anwentt hr
oughwi thheri
nlaws
forhert osayt hat.MayIbet heki ndestmother-
in
l
awt othewomenmyboysbr inghomesomeday
butI '
m noti nar ushforthattohappen.Iowet hem
myat t
entionafterdaysofnotseei ngthem.Fir
st
dayofbei ngamakot idownandmany.manymor e
aret ofoll
owbecauseI 'm pl
anni ngonstayi
ng
mar ri
edt otheirsonf orever
.
[
03/
28,
17:
17]Lynne:FORTYFOUR

Nt
ombi

I'
vebeenattheUniversi
tyofCapeTownf oralmost
twomont hsnowandImustadmi t
,I'
m st
rugglingto
belong.Iguessi
t'
sbecauseinPEIdi dnothavet o
str
ugglesomucht omakef ri
ends.HereIhavenot
madeasi ngleone.Therewasagroupassi gnment
wher ewecoul dchoosewhot owor kwi thoni t.I
wast heawkwar donewai tingtoseei fagr oupwas
shor tofmember sandwoul dadoptmeoutofpi t y.I
havenotbeenst ruggl i
ngwi thmywor katal l,i
nf act
I'
vei mpr ovedandhaveabet terunder standi ngof
mycour se, thepr obl em i svar sit
yi slonel yf orme.
Whencl assi soverIusual lycannotwai ttogr aba
taxiandgohomebecauseIhavenoonet o“ chat ”to.
Ihavenott oldLi yemat hisbecausehewi llsay“ you
don' tneedf riendsbecauseyoudi dnotgot her ef or
fri
ends” .Hei srightbutsomeonet otalkt obet ween
classeswoul dbeni ce.I '
m al sot heonl ymar ri
ed
personi nmycl ass.I 'veseenaf ewmar riedwomen
doingsecondyearFi nanci alManagementbutt hey
attendwhenI 'm onmywayhomebecauset heyar e
par ttimest udent swhoal sowor k.Xolisai dIshoul d
got oagr oupIl i
keandj ustsi twi t
ht hem.Idi dt hat
andwhenIar rivedt her ewasdeadsi lence.Iguess
I'
lljusthavet oacceptI '
llbeal onerunt i
lIgr aduat e.
Homehasbeengr eat .Myboyshavegr ownso
much.Theyar enowatMaEuni ce'sdaycar eand
seem t ol ovei tther e.Theni cepar ti
st hati t'
snot
toof arfrom Li yema' swor k.Hepi ckst hem upaf ter
wor k.If i
nallypassedmydr i
ver '
sl icensebutI '
m st i
ll
withoutacarbutIdon' tmi ndt akingat axi .Mar r
iage
i
sst il
lki ndonus.Wehavet hosel itt
le
disagreement severynowandt henbutwehave
adjustedwel lt
olivi
ngt oget herf ulltime.Ihavebeen
redecor ati
ngt hehousebi tbybi tbecauseIcoul d
notst andhow“ manl y”thehousel ooked.
Fortunat elymyhusbanddoesnotmi ndme
changi nghi shouse, ourhouse.Ikeepsayi ng“your,
”
whenr eferringtoal otoft hingsl iket hehouse, car,
moneybecauseIst i
llbelievei tishi sandhehat es
thatIt hinklikethatsoI 'vebeenpr act icingsayi ng
“ourthi ngs”.Hehasbeenopent oabouthi s
fi
nancesandhasgi venmeaccesst ohi sper sonal
money.Ihavenotgoneonsomecr azyshoppi ng
spreeashi smot hersaidIshoul dsi ncei tiswhat
shedoeswi thherhusband' smoney.Li yemai s
definitelynotbr okebuthedoesnothaveasmuch
moneyasIsuspecthi sf atherhas.Hemi ghtknow
MaEuni cebuthest il
lhast opayf orourf ourli
ttl
e
onesatherdaycar eandi tbei ngi nt owndoesnot
makei tcheap.Hehasf i
vepeopl edependi ngon
him soIwi llmakemyhusband' sl oadasl iteasI
possi bl
ycan.Ist il
lshopatt hegener alr
et ai
lshops
andst i
llwearout f
itsthatever yot hersecond
studenthavet oo.I '
m notaboutt oallowmy
husband' smoneyt ogot omyhead.Todayi soneof
thoseni cer el
axi ngmoment swher eallmy
afternooncl assesgotcancel edandsi nceIdon' t
haveanyf riendst or oam ar oundt ownwi th,
I
decidedt ogohome, t
akeanapandcookdi nnerf or
myf ami lyear l
yandwai tunt i
lt heEl ephantmen
comehome.I t
'skindofni cebei ngt heonl ywoman
i
nt hehouse.WhenIar rivedhomeIf oundmy
mot heri nl awsi tti
ngonmyf rontdoorwi thherhead
bowed.Iknewsomet hingi swr ongbecauseMma
doesnotsi tont hef loor ,especi al
lyonadi rt
ypl ace.
Shei st oomuchofal adyf ort hat.Shest oodwhen
shesawmecomei nandhereyeswer epuf fyand
red,shehadbeencr ying.Lakhi we:“ Mma, what '
s
wrong? ,
”t earsr oll
eddownhercheeks.“ Letusgo
i
n,”Isai dwhi leunl ocki ngt hedoor .Wewenti nside
andshewentt ositint hel oungewhi l
eImadet ea.
Shel aterj oinedmei nt heki tchen.Mr sE:“ Itookmy
chancesbycomi ngher e.Iknewt hechancesof
anyonebei nghomewer ecloset onon.Ij ustneeded
togosomewher ewher et herewasnoMl ungi siand
mygossi pi
ngf riends, ”shesai di nhersof tvoi ce.I
l
ovehervoi ce.Onecannevert elli
fshei sser ious
whenshout ingornotbecausehervoi cei ssosof t.
Shesoundsl ikeat een.Lakhi we:“ Wel lI'
llbeher e
aloneallday.Yourt imingwasper fect,Mr sE.Do
youwantt ot alkabouti t
? ”Mr sE:“ Doyouhave
anythingst ronger ,
Lakhi we? ”
, shel ookedatt he
cupboar ds.Lakhi we:“ No, Mma, ”shel aughedsof tl
y
butnotahappyl augh.Mr sE:“ Ifoundyourf ather's
phonet hismor ning.Iwasaboutt otakei tt ohi m at
wor kbutIr eal i
zedt hatitwasnott heoneheuses.
It'
sthesamebr andandmakebutsomet hingt old
met ocal li
t, woman' sinst i
nctIguess.Idi dand
guesswhatheanswer edmycal lyetIhel d“ his
phone” i
nmyhand.Iwentt hroughi tandt het hingsI
found.Hehasbeencheat ing,”shest artedt ocr y
again.Iwentt ohugher .Ididnotknowwhatt osay.
Whatdoesonesayi nsuchsi tuat i
ons? .Lakhi we:
“I'
m sorry,Ma, ”Isai dknowi ngver ywel litwoul d
takemor et hansor rytomakeherf eelbet ter.How
couldmyf atheri nlawdot his?I twasonl ywhenI
gaveherapr operhugdi dIgett heal coholsmel l
from her .Shehadbeendr i
nking.Mai snoacasual
drinker,shedr i
nkswhenshegoesonspeci al
occasions.Butwhocoul dblameher ?Shej ust
foundoutherhusbandi scheat i
ng.Mr sE:“Youf i
nd
them whent heyhavenot hingandhel pthem bui ld
anempi reonl yfort hem toloveanot herwitht he
growt hyoui nspired,”shelaughedagai n.Al augh
thatcamef r
om apl aceofpai n.“Thati snotal l,
”she
l
ookedatme.“ Nevermi nd,mybaby.Youmar ri
ed
justaf ewmont hsago.Thel astthi ngIwanti sf or
yout olookatmar r
iagedifferentl
y,”shest ood.
Lakhiwe:“ Ma, I
'm nol ongerachi ld.Ifyouwantt o
getitallof fyourchestt hendoso, ifnotthenl etus
gohavet eainsi l
ence.Justdon' tgowhi leyou' r
e
dru...
whi leyouar einsuchast ate,”shelookedat
me.Mr sE:“ Pleasecomewi t
hmet othedoct orto
havesomet est
sdone.Iwantt oknowi fIdon' thave
anSTD, ”shest ar t
edt ocryhyst ericall
y.Lakhiwe:
“Okaybutf irstsleepandwhenyouar eawakewe
cango, ”Mr sE:“ Idrankbecauseiwant edt ohave
thecour aget ogo.whenI ’m soberiwon' twantt ogo.
Please, mybaby, ”Ihel dherfightingbackmyown
tears.Iagr eedt ogowi thher.Ican' tbeli
eveshe
drovewhi l
eundert hei nfluence.Li yemacal ledt o
hearhowmydaywassof ar.Ihadt ol i
et omy
husbandandt ellhimI '
m onat axif rom t he
uni versit
ybecausehi smot herdidnotwantmet o
tellhimI 'm withher .I Idrovet ot hedoct orshesai d
sheal r
eadyhadanappoi nt mentwi th.Wewer e
30mi nutesl at
ef ortheappoi ntmentandhadt owait
anhourf orthenextone.Ij ustcoul dnotbel ieve
Liyema' sf ather.Wewenti nwheni twasf inallyher
ti
met oseet hedoct or.Isatandr eadamagazi ne
whensheaskedt hatIgowi t
h.Iwenti nwi thher .
Shet oldthedoct orwhatt her easonf orhervi si
twas.
Hef i
rstdi dabr iefcounsel ingsessi onwi thherand
shewasannoyed.Hedeci dedt ogetonwi tht he
test i
ng.Hewentwi thhert oexami neher ,hedr ew
bloodandaskedhert ogour inatei nacup.Hesai d
thet estsshoul dbeavai l
abl einaf ewdays.He
recommendedaqui ckpr ickHI Vt est .Myhear t
star t
edt opoundbecauseshemi ghtt estposi ti
ve.
Liyemahasaccept edhi sst atusandi shappybutI
thinkt ohearhi smot herhasi ttoowi llnotsi twel l
withhi m.Thet estwasdoneandwewai tedf ora
fewmi nut es,l
ongestwai tofmyl if
e.Thet estcame
backnegat ive, wewer ebot hreli
evedbuthe
explai nedt hatshemustwai tforthebl oodt est sand
forther esultsoft hewi ndowper i
odwhenshe
comesbackt or etest.Iwasj ustgl adther ewas
hopet hatshecoul dbenegat i
ve.Somet hingt oldme
therewasmor et ot hest or y.Didhecheatwi thher
fri
end?Shesai dIshoul ddr opherof fathersi ster'
s
housei nCl emontandIdi d.Shecal l
edapr ivat etaxi
formeandwewai t edinhercarf orittoar rive.Mr s
E:“Pl easedon' tt ellLiyemaaboutt his.Hewi llgo
fi
ghtwi thhi sf ather .Listent omeaski ngyout o
keepsecr et
sf r
om yourhusbandwhenIwast he
onewhoadvi sedt hatyout wonotkeepsecr ets
from eachot her .I'
m suchahypocr i
tebuti t'
sbest
formyboyst onotknow.Icamet oyoubecauseI
feelsaf et obevul nerabl ewi thyou.Iknowyou' re
theonewhoshoul dcr yt omebecauseI 'mt he
mot herbutIneededt ot ellsomeonebef oreIpoi son
him.Thankyouf orbei ngt her eforme, mybaby.I
wi l
lletyouknowwhent het estsar eout .I'
llbeher e
forawhi l
e.Ineedt of eel saf esomehow, ”shesai d
softly.Lakhi we:“ Iunder standwhyi t'
sbestf or
Liyemat onotknow, Ma.Idon' twantmyhusbandt o
getar r
est edf orassaul t
inghisf at her.Doyouknow
thiswoman? ,”shebr okeeyecont actandIt ookt hat
asayes.Mr sE: ”
Idon' tthinkhei scheat i
ngatt he
moment ,mybaby.Thi swomanj ustt hreatenedhi m
bysayi ngi fhedoesnotdoasshesays, shewi l
ltel
l
me, ”shel ookedatme." Itsoundsl i
keanol daf fair
thathascomet obi tehi mi nthebut tbutt hat 'sallI'
ll
botheryouwi th.Iwantmyboyt ocomehomet oa
happywi fe,notonewor ri
edsi ckabouthermot her
i
nl aw.I t'
snott hefinalt i
mehehasdonei t.Ij ust
thoughthest oppedaf terhecheat edwhi leIwas
pregnantwi thLi yemaandLul onke...Ohl i
st ent ome
goingon.I 'm sor r
y,"shesmi l
ed.Lakhi we:“Okayand
nowt hatyouknowt hathedi di tagai n, whatwi l
lyou
do? ”Mr sE:“ That '
swhyIneedt obeatmysi ster'
s
placeunt ilIdeci de.Iwoul dhavef orgi venhi m hadi t
beenanyot herwomanbutIdoubtwi ththisone, ”
Lakhiwe:“ Takeyourt imet ot hinkt hingst hr ough, ”
Mr sE:“ Thanks, mybaby.Yourt axiisher e.I'm sor r
y
fortakingsomuchofyourt i
me.I '
m sur eyoucame
homeear lyt ost udy.Il oveyou, ”shehuggedme.
Lakhiwe:“ Youdi dnotwast emyt ime, Ma.Il oveyou
too,”Mr sE:" Uhm Li yema' sgrandmai scomi ngt o
attendaf uneralt hissi denextweek.Canyoupl ease
accommodat eher ?,"Lakhi we:"Yes, I
'llmakesur ea
room i spreparedf orher .Wi l
lshebeal one? ,
"Mr sE:
"I'
l
laskherandt ellyou.Ij ustdon' twanthert ocalla
fami l
ymeet i
ngshoul dsheseeyoutf atherandIar e
fi
ght ing,
"Lakhiwe:" Iunder stand,Ma.DoesTat a
knowt hatyouknow? ,"Mr sE:" Hewi l
lassoonashe
entersourhouse.Howi st hatcaseofyour
stepmot herandt hatt hinggoi ng?,"shel ookedatme.
Lakhi we:"Bothcaseswer epost ponedf oranew
cour tdate.Theyf oundmor eevidenceagai nst
Bonga.I tseemsmur deri samongstt hem.Idon' t
thinkhewi l
lgetoutsi ncet heydeni edhi m bail
twice,"shesmi led.Mr sE:" That '
sgood, mybaby.
Wheni tisyourt urnt ot estif
y,remindme.Iwantt o
bei ncour t
,"shebr ushedmyhand.Lakhi we:"Iwi l
l
thankyou.Whydon' tyoucomest aywi thusr ather?
Thecot t
ageatt hebacki snotevenaquar terofyour
housebutyou' llhavespacet here,"Mr sE:" Thank
youandanyot hert imeI '
dhavecomebutIr eal
ly
wantt okeepmychi ldrenf rom knowi ngt hattheir
fatherwasunf aithful.Idon' twantt hem t oloset he
l
ittl
er especttheyhavel eftforhim.I '
llbei ngood
car eher e.I'llcomevi sitwhenMakhul uEl ephanti s
her e,"thet axidr iverhoot ed."
Go, gobef orehe
drivesof f,"sheki ssedmycheek.If i
rstwentt ot he
doorwi thhert osayhel l
otoLiyema'sauntbef ore
gett i
ngont het axi .Ihopet hiswillnotbet heendof
a34yearmar ri
age.Buti fMr sEisunhappyi nt he
mar r
iagesheshoul dl eavehim eveni ftheywer e
mar r
iagegoal s.WhenIgothomet hef i
rstthingIdi d
wasgoonmykneesandpr ayformymot herinl aw.
Liyema' schur chpeopl earenicepeopl ebutIt hi nk
ther ewer eaf ewl adi eswhohopedt heywoul dbe
Mr sEl ephantsoIgotaf ewdi rt
ylookswhent he
Rever endi ntroducedmeasMr sLiyemaEl ephant .
Theywi lljusthavet osucki tupbecauseI 'm not
goinganywher e.Icl eanedmyhousei npeacet oo.I
don' tknowi fIwantorevenneedadomest icwor ker
butIcan' tgetal lt hewor kdonesoIt hinkImi ght
havet ot alkt oLi yemat ogetusone.West i
llmake
useoft henanni esaf terhourswhenwewantt ogo
ondat eni ght s.Theyf oundnewj obsbutt heext ra
moneyhel ps.Iwassuddenl ybor edaf t
eral lt
he
chor eswer edone.Ist artedtoregretagr eeingt ot he
boysgoi ngt odaycar ebecauseI 'dhavepeopl et o
playwi th.Liyemat houghti t'
sbestf orthem t ol earn
socialskill
sandsuppor tMaEuni cei nthepr ocess.I
thoughtt heywer et ooyoungbutt henMaEuni ce
sentvi deosandIsawhowhappyt heywer ewi th
otherki dsthei ragei nst eadofbei ngi nthehouse
withgr ownupsal lday.Iwentt oLi yema' sl i
ttl
e
cornert hathet urnedi nt ohi sof fi
cespace.Isaw
twohugef ilesandi thadt hecompanyl ogooni t.I
want edsomet hingt ot akemymi ndawayf rom Mr s
EsoIopenedi t.Itwasaf ilescont ai ni
ngt heir
fi
nancesandpayr olldet ai l
s.Whydon' tt heyhave
thisinacomput ersyst em orsomet hing? .Mymi nd
knewt hatreadi ngi twaswr ongbecauset heyar e
confidentialandIwasnotapar toft hecompany
butI'm studyi ngFi nancesoseei ngr ealdat awas
l
ikedi scover i
ngat reasur e.It ookt heheavyf il
et o
thekitchensoI '
dhavemor espace.Imademysel f
coffeeandwentt hr oughi t.I twasl ikeIwashavi ng
acar eeror gasm butIhadnocar eeryet .Ist artedt o
makement aladvi cesonwhati nvest mentmove
woul dhavebeenbet terandwhatnotbutwhenI
wenti nabi tdeepert hingsdi dnotmakesenseatal l
.
Iwentt ogetmyt ext booksandwasnotsur ewhatI
wasdoi ng.Thet extbookdi dnothel pmuchbutmy
mi ndt oldmet hatsomet hingsdi dnotaddupatal l
.
Thecompanywasmaki ngmoneybutsomet hing
wasof f.Itookt hecompanybal ancesheet sand
alsothebankst atement s.Isatt hereforhour s
goingt hrought hem.Ikeptmaki ngcoffeet osipon
whi l
eIwasr eadi ng.Thedoorf l
ungopenandt here
wassuddenl yt oomuchnoi se.I sitti
mef orthem to
behomeal ready?Icheckedt hecl ockandt heywer e
homeont i
mewhi chmeantt hatt i
mewentont oo
quickly.Iwasaboutt otidyever ythingupandt ake
thef i
lesbackwhent hepaper sf el
landf lewi nal l
directions.Isi lent lywentonmykneespi ckingt hem
upwhenIf eltsomeonecl i
mbonmeandanot her
andt henanot her .Theseki dswi l
lbreakmyback
someday.Igent lygott hem of fmeandhugged
them andmyhear twasonmyt hroatwhenLi yema
pickedupt her estoft hepaper s.Hel ookedatt hem
andt henatme.I 'mi ntroubl e.Ist oodt oki sshim
andheact ual l
yki ssedmeback.Theki dsdi dnot
all
owust imet ot al kbecauset heycr eatedchaos
andt hehousewasamesssoonenough.Idi dnot
evengett ocooki ngdi nnerear lybecauseIhadmy
nosei nbusi nesst hatdoesnotconcer nme.I
whi ppedupqui ckdi nnerandweat e.Theki dshad
bat htimeandsoonwentt obed.Theydon' tsleepat
thesamet i
met hesedaysl i
kebef or e.Bef orewe
woul dr eadast oryandt heywoul df allasleep
mi nutesaf t
ereachot herbutnotl atel y.Liyemar ead
them ast or
ywhi leIwasbusycl eani ngt heki t
chen.
Hecamedownaf teral ongwhi l
eandhuggedme
from behi nd, Il
ovet hoset ypeofhugs.Li yema:“ So
woul dmybeaut i
fulwi f
ecar et oexpl ai nwhyshe
wasgoi ngt hroughconf i
dent i
alstuf f?,”heki ssed
myneckaf ewt imes.Atl eastIknewhewasnot
upset .Lakhi we:“ Yourwi f
egotcur ioust oseewhat
realcompanyf inancesl ookl i
ke.Baby, Ihopeyou
guyshaveadi gitalsystem f orthose, ”hel aughed.
Liyema:“ Wear enotdi nosaur s.Wehavet he
i
nf ormat i
onont hesyst em andonpaper .Ijust
deci dedtocheckt hem ol dschoolst yl e.Yousmel l
good, ”Ilookedathi m.' Lakhiwe:“ Thati sjustsoap,
myman.Haveyouhadt imet ocheckyourf il
es
yet?”Liyema:“ Honest l
y, I
'm noteveni nthemood
butIwi llcheckt hem.Lakhi we:“ Youshoul d,baby,”I
i
nsi sted.Liyema:“ I'
m nott oocl ueduponi twon't
event r
ytoactal lsmar ti naccount ingthat '
swhyI
hiredpeopl etodoi t,
”Lakhi we:“ I
'vebeenchecki ng
yourbal ancesheet sandbankst atement sand
somet hingsj ustdon' taddup, ”Iturnedt of acehi m.
Liyema:“ Suchas? ,
”hi ssmi lefaded.Heact ually
l
ooksmor ehandsomewhenhei sser i
ous.Lakhi we:
“Theydon' tmat ch.Yourbooksshowt hatyouhave
beenmaki ngacer tai
namountofmoneyyett he
amountont hebankst at ement sarenott hesame,
theyar elower .Ifir
stthoughti t
'sonl ywithl ast
mont h'
sst atementbecausei twoul dhavemeant
ther ewasaner rormadesomewher eorper hapsa
clientpaidbycheckandt hemoneyonl yr eflectedin
yourbankaf terthebankgavet hest at
ementbut
whenIwhenl ookedatt hepreviousmont hs, i
thad
act uall
ybeengoi ngonf oraf ewmont hsnow, baby.
Yourar emaki ngmoneybecauseyourcl i
ent smake
theirpayment sbutwhatyourpeopl eent eredi nt he
companybooksandwhatt hebankst atement ssay
aredi ff
erentandnowher ei
nt henextbank
stat ementhast hemi ssingcapi talrefl
ected.So
wher eisit?"Liyema: ”Sosomeonei sst ealingmoney
from us, thecompany? ”Ishrugged.Lakhi we:“ I
coul dbewr ong, babybutyourbooksj ustar enot
balanci ng.Al soIr ealizedt hatyoudonat edmoney
forachar i
tabl ecauseever ymont h.Thecompany
donat est ot hef oundat iont wiceamont h.Thename
oft hefoundat i
oni st hesamebutt heyhavet wo
bankaccount s.Themoneywasdonat edt otwo
separ ateaccount .IcheckedonGoogl ef ort
hei r
websi teandf oundt heirbanki ngdetailsshoul d
peopl ewantt odonat emoney.Oneoft heaccount s
youdonat et oi st her ightaccountbutt hesecond
wast oacompl et elydi ffer
entbankaccountwhi chis
strangebecauset heyonl yhaveoneaccounton
theirsite,”hedi dnotevenbl i
nkwhi l
eIspoke.
“Ther ear edi screpanci esinyourcashf low.It's
i
mpor tantt ocheckyourbookseveni fyouar eCEO
andhavepeopl ehandl ingthat ,
baby.Maket imet o
goovert hem.Butl ikeI'vesaidIcoul dbewr ong.I
meanI 'mj ustasecondyearst udentbuthaveyour
account ant sl ookati t,justtobesaf e,
”Li yema:
“Someonei sst eal ingmoneyf rom me? ,”hel ooked
conf used.Lakhi we: “
Oryourunqual i
fiedwi f
ej ust
goti tallwr ong, ”Ilaughedsof tl
ybuthewasnot .
Liyema:“ I'
llber ightback, baby.Thankyouf or
bringingthist omyat tent i
on.I '
llbei nher oom
maki ngaf ewcal ls,”Lakhi we:“ Okay, ”heki ssedme
andr anupst airs.Thel astt hingIwanti st omake
him wor ryaboutnot hingbutsomet hingt ell
sme
therei ssomet hing.Li ket hesayi nggoes" wher e
therei ssmoke, ther eisf ir
e" .I'
m hopi ngI '
m wr ong
though.Whowoul dst ealf rom t heirempl oyer,
someonewhohel pyouf eedyourf ami ly?Imade
himt eaandwentupwi t
hi ttot her oom.If oundhi m
passi ngupanddownt alkingont hephone, hewas
angr ytoobecausehewasshout ingatt heot her
person.Thepaper swer eal loverourbedl aidout .I
putt hecupont hebedsi det ableandl istenedwhi le
hespoket owhoIassumei soneofhi saccount s
guys.Heendedt hecal landl ookedatme.Lakhi we:
"Li
yema, don' tgoshout i
ngatyourst affon
i
nf ormat i
onyougotf rom someonewhoi snoteven
apr ofessionalyet , babypl ease.Ist i
llhaveal ong
wayt ogobef oregi vingf inanci aladvi ces,"Isai dina
whi sper.Liyema:" Icheckedwhatyou' retalking
aboutandyou' rer ight ,Lal a.Ithinksomebast ar
di s
bit
ingt hehandt hatf eedst hem.I thasbeengoi ng
onf ormont hs.Mybusi nesshasl ostal otofmoney
becauseofsomedamnungr atefulbast ard.I '
m
talkingbigmoneyher e,Lal a.Shitmanandt hen
Vusii snotanswer i
nghi sdamnphoneei ther ,
"he
saidwhi l
elooki ngatt hepagesont hebed.Lakhi we:
"It
'slate,Liyema.Youguysneedt olear nto
per sonall
ycheckyourr ecor dsandt hebank' s
recor dstoget herwi thyouraccount ants.Youguys
needt oreconci leyourbankst atement s.Shoul d
ther ebeapaymentr ecor dedi nyourbooksandi t
doesnotr eflectont hebankst at
ement smakenot e
ofi tandchecki fitshowsont henextst atement .It
's
nousef ocusi ngmai nlyonbr ingingandkeepi ng
cli
ent swi t
hdeeppocket si fsomeonei nyour
companyi spoki nghol esi nyourpocket s.Ij u...
,"
Liyema:" Ihear dyou, Lakhi we!Ihear dyousayI
shoul dbemor ei nvolvedwhenwewer ei nt he
kitchenal r
eady, "heshout edwhi lelooki ngatme.
Myf eeli
ngsgothur t.Ideci dedt oturnar oundand
justgetoutofhi sf ace.Her ant ostandi nfrontof
me.Iwasver ycl oset ocr ying.Het i
tledmyheadup
soI 'dfacehi m andki ssedme.Tear sj ustr olled
down.I '
m suchacr ybaby.Li yema:" I'm sor ryf or
shout ing.I'
mj ustf r
ust ratedandangr ybutnotat
you, baby.Pl easef orgiveme, "hewi pedmyt earsoff.
Lakhi we:" I'
mf rust
ratedwi thschoolt oo, Li
yemabut
youdon' thearmeshoutatyou.Iunder standwhy
you'react i
ngl ikethist hough.You' rewor ki
nghar d
tobui ldyourcompany, "Liyema:" WhatdoIdo
now? "Lakhi we:" Youknowt helawbet ter,sthandwa
sam.Per hapsnotcor poratelawbutI 'm sureyou
know, yourangeri smaki ngyourmi ndf oggy.Idon' t
knowwhatyoushoul ddo.Mi kehadanassi gnment
heneededhel pwi thsoIgott ol earnat hingort wo
whi l
ehel pinghi m.It hinkyouneedt oconductan
i
nt er
nalaudi t
,baby.Companyf raudi sat hing.They
startsmal lbutevent hesmal l
estoft heftcancost
you.I nvest igatebecausemyknowl edgeendswi t
h
whatIt oldyou.I '
m sor ryIcan'thel pmor e,
"Li yema:
"Areyouki ddingme?You' vehel pedmemor et han
youcani magi ne.Thankyou.I '
llstartthe
i
nvest igat i
onpr ocessf ir
stthingt omor row.What
haveIdonet odeser veyou? "Lakhi we:"I'm sur eyou
madesomeani mal sacrifi
ces,"Ijokedandwe
l
aughed.Li yema:" I'
m sor ryformaki ngyoucr y.I
s
theteaf orme? "Lakhi we:"Yeah, "heki ssedand
thankedme.Idon' tknowhowhecanmovef orward
from this.Ij ustsawsomet hingi sfishywhi l
e
checki nghi sr ecor ds.Iwasal waysgoodat
account ing.Igot90%f oritinmat ricandt hat'
swhy
Iwant edt ost udyi tandbecomeachar t
ed
account antsomeday.Tor emai nangr yathimf or
shout i
ngatmei susel ess.Whent hecompanyl oses
money, hel osesmoneyandt hatput sus,hisfami l
y
atr i
skofbankr upt cy.Ihopet heydi dn'
tstealal ot
butbyt hel ooksofhowmuchhei sst r
essing,it'
sa
l
ot .It
sont imesl ikethiswhenIwi shIhadt he
meanst or eallyhel phimf i
nanci al
ly.Hekepton
maki ngmor ecal ls.Het hensatont hebedgoi ng
througheachoft hepagesi nf r
ontofhi m.Iwentt o
takemybookssoI 'dbeupwi thhim.Ihat eseei ng
him stressed.Iconst antlywor rythatstresswi l
l
weakenhi simmunesyst em.Iwentdownst air
st o
makehi m anot hercupoft eabecauset hef i
rstwas
l
ef tcold.Imademysel fonet oo.Isawhewas
get t
ingnowher ewi thl ookingatt hefil
esbecause
hasi snoexper tisei naccount i
ngandnei t
herdi dI,
notyet .Compar ingr ecor dsi snobi gdealthat'swhy
Ifiguredi toutbutIcannothel pmor e.His
empl oyeeswer enott aki nghi scal l
s.Iwoul dnot
answeri fmybosscal ledlateatni ghtei ther.It old
himt hat.I
'm handedhi m hist eaandsatdown
dr i
nkingminet oo.Ithenor ganizedt hescat tered
pagesandputt hem int hef i
lesagain.Toshowhi m
thattomor rowi sanot herday.Hedi dn'thavet o
figureeverythingouti noneday.I nt hemor ninghe' l
l
thinkmor ecl earlyandwi llknowwhatst epst ot ake
togett hethief,ifthereisat hief.Afterwehadour
teaIgavehi sshoul dersani cemassage.Heneeded
i
t.Itdoesnott aket hestressawaybuti tcal medhi m
becausehel aidonhi sbackaf t
erthati nst eadI '
m
pacingupanddownl i
keaheadl esschi cken.Il aid
nextt ohim andheputhi sar msar oundme.Hewas
i
nnomoodt ot alksoIsatwi thhimi nsi lence.
Makhul usai dthatwhent hewor ldisagai nstmy
husbandandnot hi
ngseemst obegoi ngr i
ght ,I
havet omakesur ethatI'm hispeace.If ound
mysel fthi
nkingaboutherwor dsint hissi tuation.
[
03/
28,
17:
17]Lynne:FORTYFI
VE

LI
YEMA
IlookedatMr sDanke, thei ndependentaudi torI
hiredtowor kont hiscaseofembezzl ement .It
's
beenaweekofhel lbutIcanf i
nallyputever ything
behindmeaf terthismeet i
ng.Shet oldmet hatI '
ve
beenavi cti
m ofaccount ingf raud,payr ollfraudand
otherthingswhi chIexpectt ohear .Sheexpl ai
ned
tomehowt hecul pritmanagedt ot akemoney
withoutmenot ici
ng.WhatIdi dn'
texpecti st hetot al
amountofmoneyt hebusi nessl ostbecauseoft his.
Wel ostR960600i nt otal.Iwast hi
nkingmaybe
R400000butnott hatmuch.Howcoul dInotnot ice
somuchmoneygoi ngmi ssing?WasIso
preoccupi edwi t
hf ami lylif
et hatInegl ected
business?If eltli
ket hef ooloft heyear .DoIwat ch
deservet ocal lmysel fCEO?.If eltashar ppai n
comef r
om t hebackofneckandshotr ightt ot he
fr
ontofmyhead.Myf oreheadwast hrobbi ng.Ihad
tostandt ot akeasi poft hei cecol dwat erthatwas
ont hetraymyr ecept i
oni stbroughti n.Sheaskedi f
sheshoul dgoonandIsai dyesI 'dr at
herhear
everythi
ngnowanddealwi thitthendealofi tin
stages.Shet oldmet hatoneoft hejuni or
account ant swer einvolvedwhi chIexpect ed.Iknew
someonei nf inancewast hecul pritbutwhatIwas
notexpect i
ngi st ohearthatt hisempl oyeewas
wor kingundert heinstructionsofVusi .Allthe
account st hemoneywassentt obel ongedt oVusi
andhi sotherbusi nessvent ur
esIhadnoi deahe
evenhad.Iwal kedoutbef oreshecoul devenf i
nish.
Myheadf eltl
ikei twasgoi ngt oexpl odebutIwas
notaboutt oletaheadachest opmef rom
conf ronti
ngt hatbast ard.Doesheknowt hedamage
hehasdone?Ibor r
owedanempl oyee'scar
becauseI '
vebeenl eavingour swi thLakhi weso
she'dpi ckupt heboyssi nceI '
vebeencomi nghome
l
at eatni ght.Idr ovethepoorcarwi t
hsuchspeed
andaggr essionunt ilIarri
vedatVusi 'scompl ex
area.WhenIar r
ivedIfoundsomeguysl oadinghi s
furnitureinat ruck.Isawhi m att hedoorandwent
straighttohi m.Ipushedhi mi nside, l
ockedt hedoor
andbeatt hehel loutofhi m.It rust edhi m wi t
hmy
l
ife.Hi snoseandmout hwasbl eedi ng.Themen
outsidewer eknocki ngont hedoorbutIwant edto
teacht histheifal esson.Ipi nnedhi m agai nstthe
wall.Li yema:" Youdomel iket hisnow, Vusi ?Af t
er
theshi twe' vebeent hr ought omaket hiscompanya
reali
ty, youdoi tliket his? ,
"Ishout ed.Hi stears
startedt or olldownandhest ar t
edt ocr y
hyster i
cal l
y.Ihadt owat chhi sbl oody, snottyand
uglyf acewhi lewai ti
ngf orhi mt oexpl ainhimsel f.
"Youwantmet of eel sor ryf oryouaf teryoual most
tookami ll
ionr andf rom t hebusi ness, huh? ,"I
shookhi m andhecr iedmor e.Vusi :" I
'mi n
tr.
..
troubl e,br a.I '
m sor ry,"hecr i
edwhi lewi pinghis
snottynosemi xedwi thbl oodwi thhi swhi teshirt'
s
sleeve.Li yema:" Enoughf oryout of ucken
jeopar dizet hel ivesoft hepeopl ewhodependonus
forsal aries?Fuckt hat ,Vusi !Peopl edependonus,
man.Ihaveawi feandf ourchi ldr enwhodependon
me.Notal lofusl ivej ustf orour sel vesl i
keyou
fuckendo, "Ist rangl edhi m butIst oppedandl ethim
go.Hesankt ot hef loorandcr iedl ikeapat heticold
man.Icoul dn' tevenl ookathi m.Howcoul dhe?
HadLakhi wenotnot i
cedsomet hi nghe' dhavegone
onandbankr upt edus.Il ovet hisguyal ot.Idon't
knowhowmanyyear she' sbeeni nmyl i
febuti t'
s
overt went yyethedoesmel i
ket his?Isatandmy
headwasj ustheavy.Vusi :"Lookar ound, bra..
.I
havenot hi ng.Theyt ookmyf ur nitureandt omor row
Ishoul dbeoutofher ebecauset heysol dt hehouse
too.I'mf ucked..."Liyema:" Don' ttel lmet hatshi t
hopingt ogetpi t
youtofme.Youar eintroubl eyou
comet ome, youdon' tstealf rom meandyour sel f
dammi t,
"Ipoi ntedathi m whi leshout i
ng.Myvi sion
gotabi tbl urr
ybuti treturned.Vusi :"I'
vegotahuge
gambl ingdebt ,
br a.IthoughtI 'dbor rowmoneyf rom
thebusi nessandt henr eturni tonceI '
m done
paying,"Iwentt ohi m andl i
ftedhi m upagai nstt he
wall.Whydopeopl eal wayst estgoodpeopl e?
Liyema:" Yourl oanhascausedal otoft roublef or
thebusi ness.Whenwoul dyouhavest opped, Vusi ?
Youl etmegoonl eavemaki ngmef eelgui lt
yf or
l
eavi ngmostwor ki nyourhandsbutmeanwhi l
eyou
usedi tasanoppor t
unityt ot akef rom thever yt hing
thatfeedsus?You' readamnt hief!,"Vusi:"Wi l
lyou
getmear r
ested? "Liyema:" You' vegotnor i
ghtt o
askmet hatr ightnow.Att hismomentIf eellike
beatingyoui ntoacomabutt het houghtofmywi fe
havingt obai lmeoutbecauseofyoursel fi
shnessi s
notal l
owi ngmet o.Don' tstepf ootatwor k.Youonl y
got her ewhenIsayso, "Vusi:"Liyema, br ayou' re
myonl yf r
iend.Pl easedon' tturnyourbackonme
now, "hecr ied.Li yema:" I
'mtooangr ytof eelpityf or
you.I '
llgobef oreIdomor edamage.Gi vemeyour
damnaccesscar d,"Ilookedathi m.Vusi :"Liyema,
brapl ease,"Li yema:" Yourdamnaccesscar dand
keyst ot heof fice,"Il ookedathi m.Hepoi ntedt oa
bagt hatwasont hef loorandIwentt ot akehi s
accesscar dandkeys.Thesi ghtofhi mr epul sedme.
Hishousehadnot hing.Theonl ythingt her ewas,
wast heplast icchai r
.Whydi dn' thecomet ome?I
needt ocalm downf irstbefor eIcant hinkabout
under standi nghi sr easons.Iknewhewentt ot he
casinobutIdi dn' tknowhewasanaddi ct .To
accumul atesuchahugedebt ?Thi shasdoneso
muchf i
nanci aldamageandImi ghthavet olayof f
someempl oyees.Toputyourcar s,houseand
furnitureasmeanst opaywasdumb.Vusii sa
dumbassf ort his.Ihat ehimf ordoi ngt hi st oour
fri
endshi p.Myheadwasst il
lgivingmehel l.Idr ove
offgoi ngbackt ot heof fi
cetomeetwi t
hmyl awyer
sohecansor tt hisout .Myneckst artedt of eelst i
ff
andmyheadbecamewor se.Nextt hingIdr ovei nto
ar obotpol l
.Thecardi dn'thaveai rbag.Ihi tmy
headont hest eeringwheelandi twasl ightsout .I
wokeupwi thasl ightheadachebutcompar edto
theoneIhadear l
ier,t
hisonewasnot hi
ng.Iwasi n
hospi t
al.Amal enur sewal kedi n.Li yema:" How
l
onghaveIbeenher e?,"Nur se:"About30mi nutes,
"
Liyema:" Good, thatmeansyoucandi schar geme
withoutlettingmywi f
eknow, "Ipl eaded.Nur se:
"That'snotmycal ltomake, sir
.I '
llgocal lthedoctor
foryou,"hesmi ledandwal kedout .Lakhiwewoul d
kil
lme.Thedoct orwal kedi nandIbeggedhi mt olet
megobutmywi fer ushedi ntot her oom bef oreI
evenhadt hechancet ohi deorsomet hing.She
didn'tshoutatme.Shej ustwant edt oknowhowI
feeli
ngandaskedt hedoct orhowI '
m doi ng.The
doctorexami nedmeandsai di twasokayf ormet o
l
eave.Lucky, themanwhosecarIcr ashedcame
butnott oi nsultmebutt ochecki fI'
m okay.We
exchangedi nsurancedet ailsandIcoul donl ypray
theinsur ancewi llpayoutbecauseIcan' taffordto
fi
xhi scarcash.Thehospi t
alcal l
edLakhi webut
couldn'tgetahol dofher .Shewasi nclassbut
rushedher eassoonasshehear dwhathappened.
Wedr ovei ncompl et esilenceandIwant edt oknow
whatshewast hinki ng.Appar entl
yIwast oo
stressedandmybodycoul dn' thandl eit.Wef i
nally
arrivedhome, itwasal mostnoonsowest i
llhada
fewhour sbef orehavi ngt ot aket heboys.She
unbuckl edherseat beltandopenedherdoor .
Liyema:" Lala,"Ihel dherhand.Shel ookedatme
andsankbacki ntot heseat ."Iknowyou' reangr y.I
didn. ..
"Lakhi we:" Upset ,Liyema?Yout h. .
.you
think...
,"shecoul dnotf inishbecauseshest artedt o
cry.Iunbuckl edmyseat belttogetcl osert oher .I
heldherwhi leshewascr yi
ng.Shepushedmeaway
andhi tmychestaf ewt imesbutt hencl ungt ome
andcr ied."Iwas. ..Iwasscar ed, baby.Isawt he
mi ssedcal lsfrom t hehospi talbutIcoul dn' tcal l
backbecauseIwasi ncl ass.ThenIl i
stenedt ot he
voicemai ltheyl eftwhi l
ei ncl ass.Idi dn'tevent hink
twice.Il eftint hemi ddleofal ecture.Youscar ed
me, baby,"Iki ssedherf orehead.Li yema:" I
'm sor ry.
Ijustdon' tknowwhathappened.Ihadaheadache
from hel landmyneckhadst artedt ostiffen.Vusii s
thegui l
tyone, "shewi pedhert earsof fandl ooked
atme.Lakhi we:" Ar eyousur e?Why?Whywoul dhe
stealfrom hi sownbusi ness? "Ishr ugged.Li yema:
"Somet hingaboutgambl ingdebt .WhenIgott here
hisfur nitureandcar swer ebei ngt akenaway.He
hast obeoutoft hehouset omor row, "Lakhi we:" It
soundsser ious.Maybeyoushou. .."Liyema:" Baby, I
l
oveyouandIr espectyouropi ni
onbutpl easedon' t
askmet ounder standwhyhedi di t.I'
m notr eady.I
justwantt ogeti nsi deandhol dyou.I t'
sbeena
shitt
yday, "shenodded.Lakhi we:" Ever ythingwi l
l
wor kout ,you'llsee.Let 'sgoi nsidesoIcanhol d
you,"shesmi ledandwasaboutt ogoLi yema:" Hey,"
shet urnedt ol ookatme.Iki ssedher .Idon' tknow
whatGodsawi nmet hatmadeHi mt hinkI'm wor t
hy
ofoneofhi smostpr eciouscr eationsbutI 'm
grateful .Wewenti nsideandt hef i
r stthingshesai d
Ishoul ddoi st akear el
axi ngcoolshowersi ncei ts
hot.Isuggest edacoolbat hf ortwoi nst ead.The
twoofusgoti nt ot hebat handt osi tbet weent he
war mt hofhert highsandf eelt hecoolwat eronal l
theot herpar tsofmyski nf el
tgr eat .Ilookedupat
her.Shewasbr ushi ngmyheadwi thherf i
nger s.
Shel ookedatmeandsmi led.Weshar edal ong,
l
ovef illedki ssandever ythi ngseemedabi tbet t
er.
Shet oldmet oletthel awyerdealwi tht hisbecause
I'
mt ooi nvol vedper sonal l
ywi ththegui l
typar t
y.
Liyema:" Iwant edtobuyyouacart hisyear ,evenif
i
ti sjustoneoft hosesmal lonesunt i
lIcanaf for
d
youanot heronebutIwon' tbeabl etothisyear ,
baby, "Ilookedather .Lakhi we:" I
t'sokay, baby.I
don'tneedone.Wegetonqui tewel lwitht heone
thatwehave, "Liyema:" Youdon' treali
zewhatI
wantt odof oryou, Lala.Iwantt ohaveenought o
affordyouani nteri
ordesi gnersi nceyouwantt o
renovat e.Iwantt obuyyout hatgasst oveyoukeep
l
ooki ngatsomuchatt heshop, yeahI 'veseenyou
eyei t
.Iwantt ogetyout heal lwhi t
ekitchent hatthe
boyswi llseeasadr awi ngboar d,"shel aughed
softl
y." Iwantt ogetyousomuch.It houghtIwoul d
atleastgetyouoneoft hoset hingssoonbutt his
willaffectourper sonalf i
nancest oo,"Lakhi we:"I
haveever ythingIneedal ready.Theki tcheni s
perfectasi sfornow.Ourst ovemi ghtbe
problemat i
candmoodybuti tmakesgr eatfoodand
l
ikeIsai d,ourcari sper fect.Eveni fyousai dwe'd
havet orelocat etot het ownshi pIwoul dn'thave
seenyouasaf ail
ure.Yourbusi nessi sst i
llababy,
sthandwasam butonedayi t
'l
lbeaf orcet obe
reckonedwi thandwhent hathappensIwantmycar ,
i
nt er
iordesignerandal lwhi tekitchen,"webot h
l
aughed.Li yema:" Igrewupwat chingTado
everythi
ngf orMma.Whenshesai d" Ml u,Idon' tli
ke
mycaranymor e,"Isai dinasof tvoi cel i
kemy
mot herandshel aughed." Ther ewoul dbeanewcar
i
nt hedrivewaywai ti
ngf orherwhenshegotback
from herspat hings, "Lakhi we:" Wear enott hem
andIdon' twantyout ot hinkt hatIexpectal loft hat
from you.Baby, youandIandourboysar ehappy.
Youpr ovideforussowel l,wel acknot hing.I 'm
happy,"Liyema:" Iloveyou, "shesmi l
ed.Lakhi we:"I
l
oveyoumor e.I'vedr awnupanewbudget ,baby.
Nomor etakeaways, wewi l
lhavedat eni ght sher e
athome, andnospont aneousspendi ngsont oys.
Wewi l
lcutdownonaf ewt hi
ngsbuti swon' tkill
us,"sheor dered.Li yema:" Andt hechocol atesI
usuallygetyou? "shel aughedsof t
ly.Lakhi we:
"Maybegetacheaperbr and, babybutwecan' tnot
havechocol ate.Yourki dshavebeendr i
vingmeup
thewal l
.Chocol at ekeepsmesane, "Il aughed.
Liyema:"Myki ds? "Lakhi we: "Thismor ningwashel l,
baby.Banel esl appedBukhosiandi twasapr oper
slap, handpr intmar kingsandal l.Bubelepukedi n
thecar .Ihadt ocl eani tupatvar si
ty,
"Shewenton
andont el
lingmeaboutwhatshehadt ogot hrough.
I'
m st illstressedandmessedupbyt hehappeni ngs
oft odaybutIdeci dedt olistent omywi f
ef ort he
fi
rstt i
mesi nceal lthisVusipr oblem start
ed.She
hasbeenamazi ng.She' stakenonext raunexpect ed
responsi bilit
iesandshehasnotoncecompl ained
nornagged.She' sbeenl i
steningt omeswearat
peopl eshedoesnotevenknowandmanagedt o
calm medownaf tereachangerepi sode.I'
ve
wat chedhergetupear lyinthemor ningwithme.
Shehasbeenpr ayingf orusbef oreIleavef orwor k.
I'
dcomehomef i
ndt hehousecl ean,theboys
bat hedandputt obedwhi chi sami ssion.If indmy
foodwar mi nt heoven.She' dgett ostudyonl ylate
atni ght .Ihavenotappr eciatedheratal l
.Iwi l
ldo
thet hingsIwantt of orher.Shedeser vesanent i
re
univer se.Thebudgethashel pedt oobecauseI
mi ghthavet oi nvestsomeofmyper sonalmoney
backi nt othebusi ness.Vusicr i
ppledmei nmany
waysf inanci all
y.Iwi llnevert r
usthim asabusi ness
par tneragai n.Ir elaxedandj ustenj oyedbei ngi n
myLal a'sar ms.Ever yper sondeser vesaLal ain
theirl i
fe, wellonl ythosewhocant r
eatsucha
per sonr i
ght .Il ovehersomuch.NTOMBIWhenI
l
ef tthel ect urehal lwhi lerunni ngt ogett othe
hospi t
aloneoft hegi rl'ssaidsomet hingmean.
Somet hi ngaboutbei ngmar r
iedyoungandpoppi ng
outf ourbabi esbei ngf orol dpeopl enotgi r
lsi nt hei
r
mi dt went ies.It hinkt heyt hinkt heyboyswer ebor n
year sapar t.Ir ushedt omycart ogoseemy
husbandsoIdi dn'thavet i
mef orchi l
dishness.I '
m
justgl adhubbyi sal iveandwel l.Ican' tbelieveVusi
didt hist ohi m.Ionl yt oldhim aboutwhatt heki ds
didt omessupmymor ni
ngbutnotabout
ever ythingt hathadbeenbot her ingme.Imi ssed
maki ngl ovet ohi m.I thadbeenawhi l
eandi tfeltso
goodt oj ustbei nt hemomentofl oveandi nt imacy
withhi m.Heknowsmybodysowel l.Heknows
wher et otouchandki ssmor esoI '
dr eacht he
ulti
mat esat i
sf action.I 'mfreet oexpl orenewt hings
withhi m.It hi nkI '
m addi ct
edt obei ngonewi thmy
husband.Whet heri t
'saqui ckieorl ongst eamy
rounds.Il aidonmybackwhi lehel aidonhi ssi de.
Myl egswer ehangi ngoverhi s.Nobl anketbecause
i
twashot .Liyema:" Tel lmewhatel sehasbeen
bothering,"Il ookedathi m.Heknewmet oowel l.
Lakhiwe:" Thet ri
aldatei snextweek, wher eI 'l
lhave
totestifyagai nstBonga.Idon' tt hinkIcandoi t,
baby,"heki ssedme.Li yema:" Youhavet oo, Lal a.I
knowyou' veneverdonesomet hingl i
ket hatbutI '
l
l
bether eandIknowyoucandoi t
,"Lakhi we:" They
mightaskaboutt heabuse, babyandIdon' twantt o
gobackt othosememor iesagai n,"Isai dwhi le
cryi
ng.Hehel dmeandki ssedmyf oreheadaf ew
ti
mes.Li yema:" I
'l
lbet her e.Whenyout alk,lookat
me.I '
vegotyou, baby.Noonewi llhur tyouagai n.I
wishyoudi dn'thavet odoi tbutyouhavet o.We
havet omakesur ehest aysi nsi def orl i
fe.I'm pr oud
ofyouandI 'm sorryIwast oobusycaughtupi nmy
ownt hingst hatIdidn'thavet imet olistent owhat
you'regoi ngt hrough,"Lakhi we:" You'llbet her e
ri
ght?"Li yema:" Nothingwi llstopmef rom bei ngi n
courtsuppor tingyou, not hing.I st hereanyt hi ngel se
you'dliket ot alkabout ?"Lakhi we:" I'm notmaki ng
anyf ri
endsatvar sit
y,"Isai di nawhi sper .Liyema:
"Butyoudon' tneedany, "heki ssedmycheek.
Lakhiwe:" Ineedsomeonet opl aywi th,
"Isulked.
Liyema:" I '
llplaywi thyou, "hetickledmeandI
l
aughed.Ist oodupf rom thebedbecauseIcoul dn'
t
takeitanymor e.Hechasedmear oundwhi lewe
wer ebot hnaked.Ihaveacr azyman.Igotont he
bedt ot heot hersi deandIwasl aughingsomuch
whi l
etryingt ogetawayf rom him.Hecaughtme
andki ssedmyneckmanyt imes.Li yema:" See?I '
l
l
playwi thyou, "webot hlaughed.Lakhi we:"You're
crazy,"Liyema:" Iam.Letussi tdown, f
ri
end.I '
m
ti
redandabi tdi zzy.Wesatont hebed.Hewasnot
feeli
ngwel landIj usthadt omakeamanwhohad
j
ustbeeni nanacci dentchaseme.Webot hl ai
d
backunt ilwef ellasl eep.Liyemawasst i
llasleep
whenIwokeup.Icheckedt hetimeandi twast ime
togetmybabi es.Il efthim anot ef orwhenhe
wakesup.Igotr eadyt oheadout .Allofthem r anto
mesmi lingandsayi ng" Mama" .Theycanbesuch
l
ittl
edr amaki ngssomet imesbutIl ovethem.What
happenedt hismor ningwasf orgottenwhenI
huggedandgavet hem eachaki ss.MaEuni ce
helpedmet ogett hem i nthecarandwehadabr i
ef
chatwi thherbef oredr i
vingof f
.WhenIgotcl oset o
thehouseIsawMma' scar .Istoppednext otoitand
shewassi tt
ingi nsi delooki ngl i
keazombi e.I
steppedoutoft hecarandknockedonherwi ndow.
Shegotst ar
tledandst eppedoutofhercarcl ingi
ng
toherbagl i
keIwasat hief .Lakhiwe:" Mma, whyar e
youpar kedher e.Ourhousei sfurtherup, "Ihel dher.
Sheshookher selfoutofmygr i
p.Shewasshi veri
ng
buti t
'shot .Theboyswer emaki ngnoisei nt hecar ,
exci t
edt oseeherbutshedi dnotevenl ookatt hem.
Usual lyshepushesever yoneasi detohol dthem.
"Mma, "Icalledout .Mr sE:" MyGPSgavemet he
wr ongdi rections.Ihavet ogo, "shesai dl ookingl i
ke
shewasanal ieni naf or eignpl anet.Lakhi we:" Mma,
Liyemai shome.Let '
sgoandyoucansi tunt ilyou'r
e
bet t
er,"shepat tedmyar mt wicewhi l
est illcl
inging
toherbagwi t
ht heot herar mt henwenti nt ohercar
andspedof f.Mybabi eswer ecryingafterher .She
hasnotevencomebackt ot el
lmeabouthert est
results.Ibr i
bedt hecr yingboyswi thasweeteach
somet hingI'
llregr etlateron.Iwaswor riedabout
Mma.Idr ovehomeanddr ovet hecari ntot he
gar agebecauseI 'm notdr i
vi ngoutagai n.If ound
Liyemahavi ngaconver sat ionwi thhislawyer .I
gavet hem spacebygoi ngoutt oki ckabal lwi t
ht he
boys.Iwasnotevensur ei fIshoul dt ellhim but
thenI '
l
lhavet otellhimt heent i
rest or y.Hehad
alreadyhadal ongdayandt oaddoni twoul ddr i
ve
himi ntoacomaf orsur e.Il efthim pl ayingwi ththe
boyst ogost artdinner.Ical ledMmaandshe
soundedbet terandsai dshewasj ustst ressed
aboutt heaffair.Iknewsomet hingwasupbutIl etit
goandwentonwi thmybusi ness.Iwentt obat hthe
kidswhi l
eLi yemasor t
edmor ethingsoutwi thhis
l
awyerovert hephone.Theyspl ashedwat erallover
me.Theygavemegr eyhai rsalldur i
ngonebat h.
Afterst rugglingIf inall
ygott hem al ltosl eep.Ineed
abr eakf rom myki ds.Liyemawi l
lhavet ogivemea
dayt omysel foncet hedusthadset tl
ed.WhenI
wal kedoutoft hei
rr oom Isawat rai lofr osepet als
ont hef loor.Thesmi l
edt omysel f.Whati sthisman
upt o?If oll
owedt het railleadingt oourbedr oom
wher eIfoundasexy, l
acyr ednumberont hebed
withanot e" putmeon" .Iqui cklywentt othe
bat hroom tof r
eshenupbef oreput tingi ton.I tfi
t
per fectl
y.Iwentdownst airstof i
ndcandl es
ever ywher eandr osepet alsont hef l
oorandal i
ttl
e
picnicset ti
ngwi t
hal lkindsofdesser ts.Iwas
greetedbyat al
lgl assofchocol at ethatonl yhadan
apronon.Hel it
er all
yonl yhadanapr onon.He
l
ookedatmeandaskedmet oturnar ound.I
couldn' tevenf i
nishmysl owt wirlingbecausehe
wasal loverme.Iwaski ssedandpassi onat ely
pinnedagai nstthewal l.Oht hisman!It ookof ft
he
apronandIl ovedwhatIsawsomuch.It ookouta
condom f rom mybr aandputi tonmysel fwhi le
l
ooki ngi ntohiseyes.Thel ookofl ustinhi seyes
mademehaveami nior gasm.Hel i
ftedmeupagai n
andIdi dnotwantt hefor eplayIwant edhi mi nside
ofmeal r
eady.Hef i
rstmademebegf oritt hough
andIwast oohappyt obegf orit.Ifelthi m slidein
meandhei nstructedmet olookathi m.Il ovedhow
hecommandedmet onight .Tonightwasdi ff
erent,i
t
wasr oughandIl ovedeachsecondofi t
.Idon' t
knowhowmanyor gasmsIhad.Li yemaEl ephantis
doingt hingst omet hatmakemeaddi ctedt ohi m.
Weenj oyedt hef ruitandchocol ateaf ter.Onewoul d
swearourdaydi dn'tstartof fbadatal l.Liyema:
"Lala,doIshowyouenoughappr eciation? "Ilooked
athim anddi dn'tknowwhatt osay.Lakhi we:" You
do, baby.Thi sbeat sacaranyday, sthandwasam, "
Liyema:" Youputoncondomsnow? ,
"Iblushedand
hel aughed.Lakhi we:"St opi t,
"webot hlaughed.
Liyema:" Il oveit,"heki ssedme." Iloveitsomuch, "
heki ssedmeagai nbuthi sphoner ang.Hedeci ded
toi gnorei tbutt heper sonwoul dnotst op.He
answer ed, didnotsayawor djustlistenedandt hen
swi tchedt heTVon.IwassoupsetbecauseTV
ruinedt hings.Thel at
eni ghtnewswasonandt hey
saidt hedaught erofabusi nessmanwasf oundshot
andki l
ledi nherf latthisaf ternoon.Idon' tt hink
eitherofusexpect edZi ngisaEl ephant '
snamewhen
ther eportergavet henameoft hedeceased.Icoul d
seeLi yemawasshocked.Themoodsuddenl y
changed.Hel ookedatmeandbackatt heTV.I
can' tfaulthimf ormour ningherdeat h.Shewas
onceuponat i
mehi sbestf r i
endandwi feandt he
wayshel eftthisl i
fewascr uel.Noonedeser vesto
beki ll
ednomat terthebadt heydi dwhi l
eal ive.I
swi tchedof ftheTVwhent henewsbul letinwas
overandhuggedmyhusband.Lakhi we:" You
okay? ,"Iaskedsof tl
yandki ssedhi sshoul der .
Liyema:" I'm okay, baby.Thatwasj ustthel astthing
Iexpect edt oheart oday.Wowl i
f eisshor t!Shewas
notmyf avor i
teper sonbutdamnt ogol i
ket hat
.
Whowoul ddosuch? "Idi dn'thaveananswerf orhis
quest ion.Wewi llknowwhodi di taf terthepol i
ce
i
nvest igat i
on.Ther ewasnouset ryingt ogetback
i
nt other omant i
cmood, themoodwast ooheavy.A
fewcal l
edLi yemat ogi vet hei rcondol ences.Idid
notal lowmysel ftof eel insecur e.Shewashi sfi
rst
wife.Inf actheshoul dgoseeherf ami l
ytopayhi s
respect s.Iputonmygownandt i
tiedup.Hecal led
Zingi'sfat herandpr omi sedt omakeat urn
tomor row.Iwentt obedl eavi nghi mt odealwi t
ht he
l
ossi npeace.Shoul dhewantt ot alkI'l
lli
sten.Ifelt
him hol dmef rom behi ndwhi leIl aidi nourbed" I
l
oveyousomuch, todayi st hedayt hatpr ovedto
mehowshor tlif
ei s.Fr om myacci denttot hisZingi
thing.What everhappens, babyknowt hatIl oveyou.
Ineverwantyout ogot obedwonder ingifIdo
becauset omor rowi snotpr omi sed, "hewhi spered
bef orepl antingal ongki ssonmyneck.Ihel dont o
him andhedi dtooandwej ustr emai nedt hatway,
appr eciatingoneanot herbecausei ndeedt omorr ow
i
snotpr omi sed.MayZi ngi sar esti npeaceandmay
herki
ll
er/
sbef
oundsoj
ust
icemaybeser
ved.
[
03/
28,
17:
18]Lynne:FORTYSI
X

LI
YEMA

Thingshaveset tl
edsomewhatnowt hatIhavet he
guilt
ypar tiesoutofmybusi ness.WhatIneedi sa
bigcont r
act .Iwashopi ngt hecl i
entwewer e
pit
chi ngt owhenIhadt or ushof ftogetLakhi wei n
Dubanvi l
lewoul dsignwi t
husbecauset hatwasa
mul timi l
lionranddealbutunf ortunatel
yi twasnot
meantt obe.It hinkmer unni ngoutdur ingan
i
mpor t
antmeet ingmademeseem i ncompet ent,I
sti
lldon' tregretchoosi ngtogetmywi f
et hatday
though.Isatwi thmyt eam t obr i
ngt hem upt o
speedwi thwhathappenedandt henwecan
brainst orm newwayst ogetnewbusi ness.Weneed
newbusi ness.Lakhi wewasr ight,wear enewandI
havebeent r
yingt ogetthebi gfishbutf ornowI '
ll
focusonget tingwhatIcant okeepusaf loat
.After
bri
ef ingthem Iaskedi ftheyhadanyt hi
ngt oadd
andMi
ssBuso,
anaccount
antl
if
tedherhand.

Buso:“ Sir,
Idon' thaveaquest i
on.Ij ustwantt olet
youknowf rom mysel fandther estofthet eam t hat
weappr eci
at eyou.Wehavef ullconfidencei nyour
l
eader shipandknowyouwi l
lstirtheshi poutoft he
stor
mywat er,”shesai dwi t
hasmi leandt her est
cheered.Myent ir
et eam stoodandcl appedhands,
theguyswhi stl
ed.Idi dnotknowwhatt odowi th
myself .Idon' tevenf eelli
keIdeser vesuchpeopl e
undermyempl oymentaf t
erIfailedtor eal
izet hat
moneywasbei ngt akenf r
om us.Ij ustsatt hereand
smiledunt iltheysatbackdown.

Liyema:“Shuuu, guys,I
'mlostf
orwor d.Thankyou
forsti
llbeinghere.Iknowthatwehaveal lbeen
forcedtot akeapaycutunt i
lwegetbackonour
feetagain.Youcoul dhavechosent ogowor k
elsewhereyetyouar eallst
il
lhere.Thankyouf or
yourvoteofconf idenceandIpromiseIwi l
ltr
ymy
besttost abil
izet
heshipagain.
Lucky:“Boss,Iwasher ewhenweopenedt hose
doorsandIwi lll
eavewhenyousayyouar eclosi
ng
them.Wewi l
lgetmor ecl
ients.Fort
unat el
your
curr
entoneshavenotj umpedshi paf t
eryou
rel
easedapr essstatement.Ithinkthisisour
chancet oputthi
splaceint hemedi aand
advert
isingmap.Wehavebeenpl ayingitsafe,so
l
etusgobi g,
”

Liyema:“Iwouldli
kenot hingmor e.Wehaveapi t
ch
fornextweekFr i
daywi t
hahugecosmet i
cbrand.
Wegett hisonewewi llbewel lonourwayt o
fi
nancialstabi
li
tyandgr eaterhei
ghts.Soletus
brainst
orm.Iwantt ohearwhatt hosefreshminds
think,
”

Buso:“Iguessthatmeanstheaccount
speopl e
shouldgoawaysoyoucant al
ktothecreat
ivesbut
beforeIgo,si
r.Whatwil
lhappennowtoMr ..
.,
”she
couldnotfi
nishthesent
encebutIknewwhoshe
wast
alki
ngabout
.

Li
yema:“Ican'
tdiscussitwi
thyouasyet,Mi
ss
BusobutoncethelawyersandIhavefounda
sol
uti
ontothisIwilll
etyouknow,
”
Buso:“Okay, sirandthankyouf orthejob
enlar
gementoppor tuni
ty.Ipr
omi set onot
compr omi sethecompany' sf
inancesi nanyway.I
wil
lcomet oyoueachmont honceI 'vegottenour
bankst atement ssowecanchecki feverythi
nghas
beenaccount edf or
.Ayandakeptmei nthedarkon
mostthi ngsbutnowweknowwhy.Iwi l
lbe
tr
anspar ent,
”
Li
yema:“
Thankyou,
”

Lucky:“
Dowekeept
hest
udent
son?
”

Li
yema:“Theyarebei
ngpaidbySETA, sothei
r
moneyissafe,t
hankgoodness.Okayever
yonewho
i
snotmar ket
ingmaybeexcusedunlessyouwant
tobeapartoft
hebrai
nstor
m sessi
on.Ever
yidea
count
s,”t
heyal
lchosetost
ay.

Somet hingt ell

smet hatIhaveast rongt eam inthis
bunch.Myent ir
et eam satandwepl ayedwi thsome
i
deast oputi ntoourpi t
chf ornextweek.Wecame
upwi thsomegoodi deas.Thecr eativesr emained
andt heot hershadt oreturntot heirst ati
ons.We
hadapr oduct i
vemor ni
ng.Ican' tbel ieveVusiput
thesepeopl e'sliveli
hoodatr i
sk.Somear ewi ves,
husbandsandsol ebreadwi nnersl i
kemysel f.
Reinvestingmyownmoneyi ntot hebusi nesswas
hardt odobecauseIhadpl answi thitbutLakhi we
andIsatandt alkedabouti tanddeci deditwasbest .
I'
m sot hankf ulthatshehasabur sary.Shehas
beenhel pingwi t
ht hegrocer ywi t
hsomeoft he
changesheget sf r
om thebur sarycompany.She
hasbeenmaki ngsur ethatshei satshut tlestops
ont i
mesowecoul dsaveont aximoney.Wehave
hadt ochangeal otofthingsi njustaf ewdaysbut
wehaveadj ust ed.Ihaveasol utiont ot hi
sVusi
i
ssue.Idr ovet owher ehesai dI '
df i
ndhi ml i
ving
withaf r
iend.Ihavenottalkedt ohim si
nceI
conf rontedhim.Myl awyerhasbeent heonein
touchwi thhim.Igottothehouseandpar ked
outsidet heyard.Ifoundhim wai t
ingformebyt he
door .Hel ookedterr
ibl
e.Hei nvit
edmei nsideand
offeredmewat er.Itr
ustednot hi
ng,notevenhis
wat er.

Vusi:“I
'm happyt
oseeyou,bra.I
'
vemi ssed
chatti
ngtoyou.IreadaboutZi
ngisa.My
condolences,”
Li
yema:“
Thanksbutt
hisi
snotasoci
alvi
sit
.I'
m
her
eonbusi
ness,
”

Vusi
:“Ihavenotbeenar
restedyet
,soI'
m assuming
youhavenottol
dthecops.Thanks,br
a,Iwoulddie
i
njai
l.Ifoundwaystogetthemoneyback,”
Liyema:“
Youmeanyouhavef oundawayt osteal
moneyelsewheret
oputint
omybusi ness?Idon't
wantthedamnmoney.Itwouldhavebeengreatif
youretur
nedthemoneyyoutookbutwhenIlookat
you, Icanseeyouhavenot hingsoyouwi llgo
commi tacr i
met ogetit,
”Ilookedathi m.Helooked
down, soIwasr i
ght.“Younotonl yruinedyour
careerbutal sothatofyoungaccount i
ng
professional.Noonewi lltouchthatgirlnow.
Anywayl etmegett othebusi nessthatbringsme
here.Iwon' thaveyouar rested.Idon'
twantt okick
youwhenyouar ealreadydown.Her esignthis,
”I
handedhi m asharetransfercontract
.Hepaged
throughi t.

Vusi
:Youwantmyshar
es?
”
Liyema:“
Yeaht
aket
hemoneyyout
ookaspayment
forthem,
”
Vusi
:“Butt
heyar
eworthmor
ethant
hat
,br
a.Come
one,
Liyema,
”hepl
eaded.

Li
yema:“Jai
lorl
oseshares.Ihonest
lydon'
tcar
e
whichopt
ionyoutake.
Vusi
:“It
houghtyouwer
emyf
ri
end,
”
Li
yema:“
Webot
hthoughtso.Nowsi
gn,
”Igavehi
m
apen.

Vusi
:“Li
ye.
..
,”

Li
yema:“Si
gnandgett
hehel
loutofmybusi
ness
andl
if
e,”
Vusi
:“Butyouwon'
tbeabletokeepi
tafloatal
one.
YouknowIdidmypar t
.Ther
ewer et
hingsonlyI
coul
ddoandviceversa,
”
Li
yema:“
Truebutyoualsoprovedt
obegoodat
st
eal
ingmoney.Wil
lyousign?”

Vusi
:“Whatot
herfuckenchoi
cedoIhave?
”,he
si
gnedandini
ti
aledeachpageandIt
ookmypen
anddocument
sback.

Li
yema:“
Mywi
fedoesnotwantmet
ojustl
eave
youlikethissoIhavear rangedsomer ehabforyou
foryouraddiction.Iknowt hisismor ethana
gambl i
ngdebtbutIdon' twantt oknowmor e
becauseIhaveaf eelingitiscriminalst uf
f.Got o
thetherapyordon' tgo,Idon'tcar e.Iwasdoi ngit
formywi fe.Sor tyourl i
feout ,man.Thi sisnotyou.
HadInotbeenaf amilyman, Iwoul dhavegot ten
myhandsdi r
tyandt ryt ohelpyoubuti fI'
mr ight
andthisinvolvescr i
me, Ican'ttaket hatri
skandput
mywi feandboysl i
vesatr isk.Sor tyourli
feoutand
thenwecant alkagai n,”Isaidbef oreIwal kedtothe
door.

Vusi:“Li
yema,”Iturnedtolookathim.“I
'
m sorr
y,
bra.I'
m sorr
y,”hesai dandInodded.It
urned
aroundtogivehimt henumberofthegambli
ng
rehabil
it
ati
oncent erandlef
t

I'
m notreadytofor
givehim yet
.Maybehadhebeen
j
ustmybusi nesspartner
,Iwouldhavel
eti
tgo
quickl
ybutI'
m hurtbecausehewasmybestfri
end.
Hei sri
ght, t
her earethingsthatarenotmyst rong
pointinbusi nessthathei sgoodat .Ihaveafeeli
ng
thatIdidther ightchoicethough.Hei sinvol
vedin
dodgyshi t.Lakhiwesentmeat extandIdecidedto
callher.Shepi ckedupaf t
erthefir
stri
ng.

Lakhi
we:“
Baby,
didyougetmyt
ext
?Whatdoyou
thi
nk?”

Li
yema:“
Tor et
urnt
oschoolt
hough,
baby?
,”Isai
d
i
nalowvoice.

Lakhiwe:“It
'sonlyforthreemont hs.Youwil
llear
n
thebasicsofbusi ness,baby.Youar easmartand
i
ntell
igentmanbutyoudon' treall
yhavean
understandingofbusinessbecauseyounevergot
l
essonsoni t.Pl
easeconsideritandi ti
sfr
ee,
Lii
yema.Pl ease,baby,”shepleaded.

Li
yema:“
I'
llt
hinkabouti
t,Lal
a,”
Lakhi
we:“Don'tthinktool
ongbecauset
heman
sayspeoplearegr abbi
ngthi
sopport
uni
tysot
he
cl
asswillbefullsoon,”
Li
yema:“
Doyouhaveasi
xsense?
”shel
aughed.

Lakhi
we:“
Whatar
eyouonabout
,fr
iend?
”
Liyema:“JustnowIwast hi
nkingabouthowgood
Vusiwasi nmostthi
ngswheni tcamet ot
he
runningofthebusi
ness.Theonl yreasonwhyIwas
i
nchar gewasbecauseIhadi nvestedmor emoney
andhadmor eshar
esbuthehadaDi pl
omain
BusinessManagementandsomeot her
certi
fi
cat
es,”

Lakhiwe:“
Ireadyourmind,
”shelaughed.“Well
you'
llhaveacerti
fi
cat
einbusinessaft
erthi
s.The
gentl
emansai dmostpeopl
ewhosi gnedupar e
entr
epreneurssoimagi
nethenewexci t
ingpeople
youwi l
lmeet.Theywil
lgi
vefr
eet eaandcookies
t
oo,
”Il
aughed.“
Soj
ustf
reeever
ythi
ng,
”sheadded.

Li
yema:“
Okay,
justsi
gnmeupal
ready,
”
Lakhi
we:“Ialreadydid.Checkyouremail
sandthe
spam f
oldertoojustincasebecausetheyhavesent
youdetai
lsregardingtheti
mes,ti
metableand
such,
”

Li
yema:“
Howdi
dyouevenhearaboutt
his?
”

Lakhiwe:“Idel
iber
atel
ywentoutofmywayt of
indi
t.
Itwi
llteachmyhusbandt okeeptrackofal
l
departmentsinhisbusi
ness,
”Ilaughed.

Li
yema:“Il
earnedal
esson,
baby.Damnbutyouar
e
somet
hingelse,
”

Lakhi
we:“Iknowandyou'
rest
uckwithme.Look.
BabyI'
m notdoi
ngthi
stocont
rolyou.Ij
ustt
hought
i
twoul
dhel
p,”
Li
yema:“Thatdidnotevencrossmymi nd.I
appr
eci
atet hatI
'
minyourthoughtsandyouhave
mywellbeingatheart
,baby.I
'm al
uckyman,”

Lakhi
we:“I
t'
stheani
malsacri
fi
cesyoumade,”we
bothl
aughedsomuch.Butthi
swomant hough.

Li
yema:“Growi
ngupi ntheruralar
eashaveyou
bel
ievi
ngsomewei r
dstuff.Letmegettoheoffi
ce,
baby.Weareprepar
ingforahugepr oj
ect
,huge.I
l
oveyouokay,”

Lakhiwe:“Iloveyout oo.I
'
m goi
ngtoseeyourmom.
I'
mj ustquicklybuyingacheapscar
ftoputonmy
head,lucki
lyI'm notweari
ngajeantoday.Il
oveyou
too.Seeyoul ater,
”

Li
yema:“
Can'
twai
t,
”
Iendedt hecal landt ookt heroadagai n.Ipul led
overwhenImadet hecal lbecauseshewoul dhave
freakedoutI fIwasont hephonewhi ledriving.I
thinkmywi f
eknowswhati sbestf ormemor et han
Iknowwhati tbestf ormysel f.Maybet heor eti
cal
under standingonbusi nesswi l
lhelpmet ur nmy
busi nessweakpoi ntsi ntost rongpoi nts.Howl ucky
am It ohaveawomanwi t hbothbeaut yandbr ains?
Iwi l
lgivet hesecl assesofher sachance.Imi ght
meetnewpeopl einbusi ness.Ihavenott oldherI 'm
soleownerofEM Medi aandCommuni cation.
Per hapsIshoul dgobackt ovarsityparttimenext
yeart ost udyBAi nMedi a&Communi cation.Idon' t
knowi fwewi l
lbeabl et oj ugglebei ngstudent sat
thesamet i
mebutI '
llsee.Ihavebeent oZi ngisa's
fami lyhomeaf ewt imes.TheyknowI '
m not
obligatedt oactl i
keamour ni
nghusband.I 'm
saddenedbyt heirlossbutIcannotdousual
“mkhwenyana”dut ies.I '
m asoni nlawoft hePot i
fami lynow.Theydoknowt heycanaskf orhel p
anyt i
met hough.Ist illcan' tbelieveshei sgone.She
wasannoyi ngbutshedidnotdeservethi
s.Sad
thingistheycantbur
yherbecauset hepol
icehas
notreleasedherbodytoherfamil
y.Ihopeshegets
thejusti
ceshedeservessoherfamilycanfind
closure.

NTOMBI

I'
vebeenlooki ngforni ghtcl assesonbusi nesst hat
Liyemacoul dattendf ordays.Ij usthopehewon' t
getboredandst opattendi ng.Iadvi sedhimt ofind
Vusisomer ehabf orgambl ing.Youdon' tleavea
fr
iendwhent heyar egoi ngt hroughar oughpat ch
butVusihur tmymant hough.Ihopehewi llsorthis
l
ifeout.Il
ikedhi m alot .Iwenti nt
oaChi neseshop
andboughtanugl ypi nkscar fjusttocovermyhead
withsi
nceI '
llbegoi ngt ot heinl aws.Itookat axi
andmademywayt othei rplace.Iputt hedoekon
whenIwasbyt hegat e.Thegat ewasopensoIl et
myselfinwithoutbuzzi ngt hem.Ihopet heydon' t
seethepenci ldressIhaveonasbei ngtoot i
ght .
Beingamakot
iisalotofwor
ksometimes.Iwas
aboutt
oknockwhenIheardvoi
ces.Thefr
ontdoor
wassli
ght
lyopen.

Ta:“
Fixyour
sel
fup.Youhavebeenl ooki
ngl
iket
his
si
nceyoucamefrom yoursi
ster
's,
”heorder
ed.

Mma:“Welllooki
ngniceandel
egantdi
dnotkeep
youf
rom sl
eepingaroundsowhyshouldyoucar
e
howIlook?
,”sheanswered.

Ta:“
BecauseIhavepeopl
ecomingher
eanyt
ime.I
can'
thavethem seemywif
eli
kethi
s,
”

Mma:“Maybetheywi
llaskandmaybeIwi
llt
ell
t
hem t
hetrut
h,”
Ta:“
Hangourdir
tylaundr
youti
npubl
icand
humil
iat
eyour
self
.I'
m goi
ng,
”
Iknockedont hedoorsoi tmayseem I '
m only
comi nginnow.Thedooropenedf ullyandmyf at
her
i
nl awst oodinf rontofmel ooki
ngdapper .Asi
de
fr
om t heheightdi ff
erence, Li
yemal ookslikehim
butmyhusbandi sjustmor egoodl ooki
ng.Igave
him anawkwar dgr eeting.Ialmostneverknowhow
toactar oundt hi
sman.Hedi dnotlookatmydr ess
soi tmustbeappr opriateenoughf ortheirmodern
minds.Hegr eetedbackwi thaforcedsmi l
e.

Ta:“IheardaboutLi
yema'
smoneyt
roubl
es.Howi
s
thatgoing?”

Lakhi
we:“
HeisasmartmansoIbel
ievehei
s
handl
ingi
tver
ywel
l,
”Ifor
cedasmil
e.

Ta:“Sohewon'
tbebeggi
ngmet ocomebackt
o
practi
ceatt
hef
ir
m?,”hel
aughed.

Lakhi
we:“
Hispassi
oni
snotl
awandl
ikeI
'
vesai
d,
Tat
ahei
shandl
inghi
sbusi
nesswel
l
,”

Ta:“
Passi
onwon'
tfeedaf
ami
lyofsi
x,
”
Lakhi
we:“Sofari
thasbeenfeedi
nguswel
l,
thank
you.Ihavef
ait
hinhim.Heisnotgoi
ngtoworkfor
anymaneveragainbecauseheishi
sownman,”he
l
ookedsurpri
sed.

Ta:“Ownmanhuh?Thati sgood.Letmego,
Lakhiwe.Yourmotheri
nl awisi
nside.Tel
lherto
showerwhileyou'
reati
t,”hesaidleavi
ngme
wantingtothr
owsomet hingatt
hebackofhi shead.
Thenerveofhim.

Hei sact
uall
ytheonl ypersonwhor efer
stothem as
my“ motherandfatherinlaw”Iknowt hat'
swhat
theyarebutmostpeopl einhi sfami
lydon'
taddthe
i
nl awattheend.Iwenti nsidetoseethepersonI
cameher efor
.Ifoundherst andi
nginfr
ontofthe
opendoubledoorfridge.Igreetedandshelooked
sohappyt oseeme.Igotawar m,boozesmallhug.
Itol
dhertogoupandshowerwhi l
eImadel unch
forus.I
'm star
ving.Shemademepl eadbutfi
nal
ly
gavein.Isawt woempt ywi nebott
lesandIthrew
them away.Iti
diedt heki
tchenup.Thi si
smyhome
toosoIhavet obef reetocleanandcooki ni
t.I
madeaqui ckchi ckensti
rfry.Shecamedownaf ter
alongwhi l
ewear ingherblacksil
kgown.

Mma:“Lookatyouhel
pingyourmot
her
,”shesmi
led
andcametohugme.

Lakhiwe:“Ishoul
dactual
lybeashamedofmyself
.I
l
ivefif
teenmi nut
esawayyetIhavenotbeenher
e
sincewhoknowswhen, ”
Mma:“Ar
gdon'
tworr
y.Whowoul
dyouhavecome
t
owhenIwasnother
e?Howaret
hingsathome,
mybaby?
”
Lakhi
we:“
Wear
egoodj
ustmi
ssyou.Howhaveyou
been?”
Mma:“AndLiyema'
sbusiness.Doyouchi
ldr
en
needmoney?
”sheavoidedmyquest i
on.

Lakhiwe:“
Ifweeverdo,you'
llbethefi
rstt
oknow,
Mma.Sohowi soneofmyf avori
tequeens?”she
blushedandlaughed,
Mmal ovescompl i
mentssoI
knewshe'dsmi l
e.

Mma:“ Sheisfeelingandl ookingli

keapeasant
thesedaybutst i
llbreaths.Ilikethis.AfterLul
onke
l
ef tusIneverthoughtl i
fewoul dbl
essmewi t
h
anot herdaughtertof i
llthatdar kvoid.Idon'tt
hink
Liyemar eali
zesthegi fthehasgi venme, ”Iblushed,

Lakhi
we:“I
'
mt hel
uckyonetohaveamot herinl
aw
wholovesmeandwant st
hebestforme.Andmy
queendoesnotlookli
keapeasant
.Lookatt hat
gl
ow,”shelaughed.

Mma:'
Stopi
t,nana.Ar
eyouguysst
il
lupt
o
accommodat i
ngMakhul u?
”Inoddedwhiledishi
ng
upforus.“Shewon'tstaylong.Shewilll
eave
Monday.Iknowhavi ngf amil
yovercancrampa
newlywedcouple’
sst yl
e.Youar eatt
hatstageof
marriagewhereyoujustwantt odothedeed
anywhereandatanyt i
me,”

Lakhi
we:“
Mma,
”Ibl
ushed.

Mma:“ Iknowt hatfeel

ing.Enjoyitwhil
eitlast
s
becauseaf t
eraf ewyear sthesexgoes..
.,”she
pointedhert humbdown.Il aughed.“Nana,areyou
everafraidtobei nti
mat ewi t
hhim knowinghis
status?”
, sheasked.Ihadt othi
nkaboutawayt o
answeri tinanappr opriatewayfirst
.

Lakhi
we:“I'
dbel yingifIsai
dIwasnotaf raidatall
.
Somethingatt hebackofmymi ndf
earedt hathe'
d
i
nfectmeatf irstbutthenIr ememberedthet ypeof
manI '
m marriedt o.Yes,thecondom might
somedaybur stbutt hathasnothappenedandI
can'tnotenjoytimewi thmyhusbandoutoff earof
thatthenwemi ghtaswel lhavenointimateli
feat
all
.Fearwoul dmakeusbot hnotenjoyit
.I
somet imesevenf orgetabouthisstatusinthat
momentbecausenot hingmat t
ersbuthim andI
showi ngeachot herhowmuchwel oveeachot her
andknowi ngthatIcant r
usthimtokeepi tsafe.SoI
nolongerf earanything,
”Ilookedatherandshe
keptqui et
.IassumedIhadshar edtoomuch.

Mma:“ Thatsoundsbeauti
ful
.I'
m gl
adyoutwoar e
enjoyi
ngmar r
iageandalli
t'
sbli
ss.Thankyoufor
thelunch,mybabyIhavenoteatensinceyest
erday
butyourfoodbroughtbackmyappetite.

Lakhi
we:You'
rewelcome.Sowhatdi
dthedoct
or
say?Younevert
oldme,”

Mma:“I
'
m clean,ever
ythi
ngiscl
ean,
”Ibr
eat
heda
si
ghofrel
ief
.I'
m sohappy.
Lakhi
we:“
Areyoubackhomenow?
”
Mma:“
Fornowi
t'
sbestIbeher
e,”
Lakhi
we:“
You'
renotbei
ngf
orcedr
ight
?”

Mma:“
Never
,don'
twor
ry,
”

Wesatandt alkedaboutgener alt

hings.Itouched
ont heZingicaseandshedi dnotwantt ot alkabout
that.Iwassupposet ohavebeeni ncour tthisweek
butonceagai nt hi
ngsgotpost ponesbecausenew
evidencecame.Howr ottenisBonga?The
prosecutorsaidImi ghtnothavet otesti
fyandI
hopei tcomest othat.Wewer ejustchattingwhen
therewasaknockont hedoor .Iwentt oopen.I t
wasanol dwhi t
eman.Iassumedi t
'sthe“people”
Tatasai dwouldcome, hisbusinesspar tnersbut
whywhenhei snother e.Ilethim andMmacamet o
thedor r
.Shedi dnotseem t oknowhi m either.
Him:“
GoodAft
ernoon,I'
m Detect
iveDohert
y.I
'
ve
cometoaskMrsElephantafewquestions,
”
Mma:“
TwoMrsEl
ephant
sar
einf
rontofyou,
so
whi
chone?
”

Detecti
ve:You,mam butsi
nceyourdaught
eri
nlaw
i
sher eImi ghtaswel
laskherquest
ionst
oo”my
heartstar
tedtorace.

Mma:“
Why?
”
Det
ecti
ve:“
Themur
deroft
hel
ateMr
sEl
ephant
,”he
l
ookedatus.

Mma:“
Arewesuspect
s?”

Detect
ive:“Wil
litbealr
ightwit
hyouifIaskyoua
fewquestions,MrsElephant?
”heaskedlooki
ngat
me.Ifeltsick.
Mma:“
Mydaught
erdi
dnotki
llt
hatwi
tch,
”
Lakhi
we:“
It
'sokay,Mma.Isitokayi
fIcal
lmy
l
awyerandputhim onspeaker?
”

Detcti
ve:“
Youdon'tneedone,
MrsElephant.I
'm not
chargi
ngyou,I
'
llonlyaskedafewquesti
ons,”

Lakhi
we:“
Ist
il
lwantt
ocal
lmyl
awyer
,”

Idon'
tevenhaveal awyer .Idi
aledmyhusband's
numberatfi
rsthedi dnotanswerbutIt ri
edagain
andhedid.Hewi l
ljusthavet obemyl awyer.Mma
cal
ledZi
ngiawi t
chi nfrontofthedetecti
vewhich
mightmakethingswor se.Ican'tt
rusthertohel
p
meanswerthequest ions.

Li
yema:“
Lal
a,Ican'
ttalknow,
“hesai
dsof
tl
y.I
'
m
sur
ehewasinameet ing.
Lakhi
we:“
Adet
ect
iveDor
othyi
satyourmom'
s,
”

Li
yema:“Doher
ty?”hecor
rect
edme.“Damni
sthat
mansti
lli
nservi
ce.Whatdoeshewant?”
Lakhi
we:“I'
l
lputyouonspeakersohecant
ellyou
hi
mself”Iputhi
m onspeaker
.

Li
yema:“Detect
iveDoher
ty,
LiyemaEl ephant
speaki
ng.HowmayIbeofassi stance?”

Det
ect
ive:“
YoungEl
ephant
,it
'sbeenawhi
le.Ionl
y
wantt
oaskyourwif
eafewquest i
ons,
”
Li
yema:“
Inconnect
ionwi
th?
,”

Detect
ive:“
Themurderofyourexwi
fe.Per
haps
yourwifeknowssomethi
ng,”

Lakhi
we:“
Areyougoi
ngt
ochar
geher
?”
Dect
ive:“Iact
ual
lyj
ustwanttoknowwhereshe
wasont he15thofApri
latabout16;
08pm,
”

Lakhi
we:“
Ohyoushoul
dhavesai
dso.Iwasatt
he
daycar
epi
cki
ngupmyboys,”

Det
ect
ive:“
Cant
heyver
if
ythat
?”

Lakhi
we:“Yes,
theowner
,herst
affandaf
ew
mommi escan,
”
Det
ecti
ve:“
Okay,
I'
llneedt
hei
rcont
actdet
ail
s
pl
ease,
”

Liyema:“
Willt
hatbeall
?Youheardshewasnotat
thesceneofthemurderandhasanali
bi,
”
Detect
ive:“Holdyourhorses.Iwi
llhavetover
ify
sheistell
ingthetrut
hfir
stbutfornowt hatwi
llbe
al
l.Whileyou'r
eont heli
ne,MrElephant.Where
wer
eyouont
hatday?
”Li
yemal
aughedi
ndi
sbel
ief
.

Li
yema:“
Withmylawyeratmyhouse.Youcancal
l
hi
m.Mywi f
ewil
lgivehi
sdetai
ls.

Det
ect
ive:“
Thatwil
lbeallf
rom youtwofornow.
MrsEl
ephantseni
or,youunfor
tunat
elyhaveto
comewithmeforquesti
oning,
”
Li
yema:“Whatthehel
l?Mymot herdi
dnotkil
l
Zingi
sa.Hadshewantedt
o,she'dhavedoneitl
ong
ago,”
Det
ect
ive:“
I'
m notchargi
ngheryetbutIwi
llhavet
o
t
akehertothestat
ions,
”

Liyema:“Mma, don'
tsayanythi
ng.Iwi
llmeetyou
there.I
'
llcal
lTatomeetust her
etoo,
”
Mma:“ Idon'tneedhi
m.I'minnocent
,”shel
ookedat
thedet
ective.“I
'l
lgogetdr
essedandcomeback
down,”
Det
ect
ive:“
Don'
tdoanyt
hingst
upi
d,”

Mma:“Likewhat
?Jumpdownt wostor
iest
orun
awayfr
om you?Don'
tpat
roni
zeme,”shesai
d
bef
orerunni
ngupthest
air
s.

Lakhi
we:“I
sitf
inei
fIdri
vebehi
ndyouwi t
hher.She
hasnotbeengoodandsit
ti
nginthebackofadir
ty
vanwil
lmakeherworse,
”

Det
ect
ive:“
I'
'l
lal
lowi
t.Iwi
llwai
tout
side,
”hewal
ked
t
othedoor.

Lakhi
we:“
Det
ect
iveDor
othy,
”het
urnedt
olookat
me.

Det
ecti
ve:“
Dohert
yDoh- Her
-Tee,
notDor
othy,
”he
cor
rect
edme.Ijustnodded.
Lakhi
we:“Whatr
easondoyouhavet
ochar
gemy
mother?
”
Detecti
ve:“
Shewi
llknowwhenIgethert
othe
st
ation,
”

Ikeptmymout hshutbef oreIgetMmai nt

omor e
tr
oubl e.ThereisnowayMmacoul dhaveki l
led
Zingi sa.Shehadpl entyofr easonwhenshe
cheat edonLi yemabutshedi dnot .Whywoul dshe
doi tnow?Thesepeopl ej ustwantt opi
nt hison
someone.Mmacamedownt hest airswear i
nga
tr
acksui tandsneakers.Italllookedsowr ongon
herori sitbecauseI'
veneverseenherwear ing
casualcl ot
hes.Ididnotevenknowsheownedsuch.
Wel ockedt hedoorandgoti ntot hecar .Idrove
behindt hevanandhewasdr ivingt oofast.I'
ma
newi ndependentdr i
ver.Istil
lf oll
owal ltherulesof
drivingIl earnedbutwear r
ivedatt hestati
onsoon
enough.Theywenti nwi thherandIhadt oremind
hert onotsayanyt hi
ngj ustasLi yemasai d.Isat
andwai tedunt ilLi
yemaar rived.Ishowedhi m
wher etheyt ookhert oandher ushedt ogot here.I
suddenl yremember edthest ateMmawast hat
afternoon.Coul dshe...
?“No, no,no, Lakhiweyou
can'tthinkthat,”Isaidtomysel fwhi l
eIwai ted.I
l
ookedatt het i
meandi twasal mostt imet ogett he
boys.Ihopet heycomeoutbef orethatbecause
Mma' scardoesnothavecarseat sandLi yemai s
i
nsi dewi t
hourcar '
skeys.If eltsohel pless.Some
policemanwi nkedatme.Igavehi m adi sgusted
l
ookandshowedhi m myr ing.Heshowedmehi s
ri
ngt oandshr uggedclearlysayi ng“ so? ”Ifeltso
disgustedt hatmar ri
edpeopl ewoul ddosuch.I
wentt ositinMma' scarinstead.

MRSE

Isatinthecoolint
errogati
onroom,wel
latleastI
thi
nkthatiswhatitis.Itsmel
ledofnot
hing.The
detect
ivetr
iedtogetsomeanswer soutofmebutI
exerci
sedmyr i
ghttokeepsi l
entl
ikemysonsai dI
shoul d.Hekeptonr aisinghisvoiceandbangi ng
thet ablethinki
ngI'dcower .Doesthismanknow
howmanyt i
mesI '
vear restedasat eendur i
ngt he
struggl e?Ididnotfeart hewhi t
epolicebackwhenI
hadnor i
ghtstoleanon.Whyt hehellwouldIf ear
him nowt hatI'
vegotr ights.Ikeptmycoolandl et
him getal lworkedupal one.I'
vesurvivedtortureof
theel ectri
cchairanumberoft imes.Hisdamn
tacti
csar enothi
ngonme.Li yemaf i
nallycameand
gavemet helongesthugbef oresit
ti
ng.Iknowt hat
hei sr ustyasfarasl awi sconcernedbutIt rusthis
l
egaladvi cemor ethanIwoul dhisfather'
s.He
askedi fIsaidanythi
ngandIsmi l
edandshookmy
head.

Li
yema:“Whyi
ssheher
e?”
,hesatandl
ookedat
Doher
ty,
”
Dececti
ve.“Herfi
ngerprintswerefoundont he
doorknobofMr sZElepahnt '
sfl
at?
”,hesatdown.
“Car
et otel
lushowi tgotthere?Di
dyougoand
shootherincoldblood?”
Li
yema:“
Youdon'
thavet
oanswert
hat
,Mma,
”
Dececti
ve:“Awomanwaski l
ledher,MrElephant
andrightnowyourmot heri
sourmai nsuspect.I
suggestthatyougetherareallawyert
hisis
seri
ous,”
Li
yema:“Thenwhyar
eyouquest
ioni
ngherwi
thout
a“r
eall
awyer”?
”

Detect
ive:Howdif
fi
cultcananswer
ingwhywe
foundherprint
sonthedeceaseddoorbedi
ff
icul
tto
answer?”

Liyema:“
Whichdoori
sthi
s?Iassumet
hisf
lathasa
fewdoors,
”
Det
ect
ive:“
Thef
rontdoor
,”her
aisedhi
svoi
ce,
”
Li
yema:“Wer
eherfi
nger
pri
ntsfoundonanyot her
par
tint
hehouse,
othert
hanthefrontdoor
'sknob?”
Det
ect
ive:“
No,
”hel
ookeddown.

Liyema:“
WhenIwaswi t
hherfat
herhesai
dshe
wasshotatpointbl
ankr
ange.Wheredi
dyoufi
nd
thebody,Det
ecti
ve?
”

Det
ect
ive:“
Int
hel
ounge,
”

Li
yema:“ Woul
di thavebeenpossi bl
eforaper son
whost oodatt
hef rontdoortopointagunatt he
vi
cti
m andshootatpoi ntblankrangebecause
cl
ear l
ymymot herendedatt hefrontdoororher
pri
ntswouldhavebeenf oundinotherpartsofthe
fl
at,notso?
”hegaveDoher tyadeathstare.

Detect
ive:“
No, i
twoul
dhavebeenimpossi
blet
o
shootatpointbl
ankrangef
rom t
hefr
ontdoor,
”he
sai
dsof t
ly.
Li
yema:“
Thenwhyi
smymot
herher
e?”
Dt
ect
ive:“
Shecoul
dhavewor
ngl
oves.
”

Li
yema:“I
fasuspectissmartenoughtobring
gl
ovesinthef
ir
stplace,don'
tyouthi
nkthey'dhave
putt
hem onbefor
et ouchi
nganythi
ngofthe
vi
cti
m's?”

Detect
ive:“Shest
il
l hasnotansweredt
hequest
ion,
”
helookedatme.Li yemawant edt
ostopmebutI
tol
dhimi tsokay.

MrsE:“Ifyoumustknow, Detecti
ve.Iwasatthe
deceasedhousemont hsagowhenshecamet o
towntoaskhert ostopbotheri
ngmyson.Igott o
herfl
at,knockedbutshedidnotanswer.Itur
ned
herdoorknobtocheckifitwaslockedanditwas.
Youcanevenaskhernei ghbor.Ifheremembersme,
hewillt
ellyouwhathesaw, ”Il
ookedathim.
Li
yema:“Canyouprovethatt
hef i
nger
printswere
putt
her
eont hedayofthemur der
,Detecti
ve?”

Det
ect
ive:“
No,
”

Liyema:“Thenpleasedon'
tbot
herusagai
nunt
il
youhavesomet hingconcr
etet
opinonmymother.
Mma, let
’sgo,
”

Det
ecti
ve:“
YoumaygonowbutI
'
m sur
eI'
l
lfi
nd
moreevi
dence,
”
Li
yema:“Youknowwher et
of i
ndusshoul
dthat
happen.GoodbyeDorot
hy,
”thedet
ect
ivecl
enched
hi
sfisti
nfrust
rat
ion,

Detecti
ve:“I
t'
sDohert
y,”Iwant
edtolaughbutkepta
st
raightface.Myhusbandcameintotheroom
l
ookinglikehegaveadamn.
Mlu:“
Icameassoonaspossibl
e.Ihopeyoudi
dnot
sayanyt
hing,
”hel
ookedatme.

MrsE:“
Youcanst
aybutmysonandIwer
eleavi
ng.
Li
yemahel
pedmealr
eady,
”

Mlu:“Youwil
lputyourf
ait
hinsomeonewhodoes
notevenknowthelawforadamnmur dercase?
”

MrsE:“
WouldIbegoinghomeifhedi
dnotknow
t
helaw?Let'
sgo,Ndoda.I
'
m sur
eLakhi
weis
wai
ti
ngforyou,
”

Doher tyaskedifIwaswi t
hanyoner oundaboutthe
ti
met heyassumeZi ngigotkil
ledandItol
dhimI
waswi thmysister.Wel eftthemightyEl
ephant
there.Comi ngtotellmet hatmysondoesnotknow
thelaw, thener
ve.It hankedmyboyandwewal ked
outsidewher eLakhiwesai dshewaswhenhecal led
toask.Shewassohappyt oseeme.IfIcankeep
mychi l
drenf rom knowi ngt hattheirfat
herhadan
affairwithZingisaIwi l
ldoso.Ml ungisidoesnot
deser vetheangerandpai nt hi
smi ghtbri
ngt o
Liyemashoul ditcomeout .Thatbast ardthinksthat
hecandomebadandj ustgoonwi t
hlif
e.Doeshe
knowwhoIam?ThehugIgotf rom mydaught er
wassowar m, Lakhiwei sjustwar m andeveni fI
wer etodi etodayIwoul dnotbewor ri
edabout
Liyemaatal l
.Theyhadt ogogett heboysf rom
daycar eandIki ssedt hem bot hgoodbye.Imi ssmy
bundl esofever ythingmagi cbutI'mi nnost ateto
bear oundt hem att hemoment .Thatcheat ingman
whor ecameoutoft hepolicest at
ion.Hewant edto
talktomebutIgoti nt
omycaranddr oveof f.He
foll
owedbehi ndmegoi nghome.Theonl ythinghe
couldgoonaboutwhenwear ri
vedhomewaswhyI
hadLi yemar epresentingme.Sayi ngIcoul dhave
i
ncr i
mi natedmysel fandgonet ojai l
.Iwatchedhi m
gethi sbloodpr essur eup.Al lIdidwassi tandsi p
onmycupofcof f
ee.Hedoesnotevencar ehowI
am.Onl yangr ybecauseIdi dnotwai tf
orthe
“might yElephant ”tocomesaveme.Thi smandoes
notknowmebutsoonhewi l
l.
[
03/
28,
17:
19]Lynne:FORTYSEVEN

MRSE

Iindeedt estedposi t
ivef orHIV.Isn'titsickt hat
bothmysonandIgoti nfectedbyt hesameper son?
Igoti tfr
om heri ndir
ect l
yofcour sebutIf eelmysel f
gettingsickwhenIr ealizethatmyboyandIwer e
madesi ckbyonesour ce.IhateMl ungisif ort his
andIhat edZingisaevenmor e.Icouldnotst andt o
haveei theroneoft hem gounpuni shed.Havi ng
beenacomr adebacki nt hedayIhavemadel ong
l
ast i
ng, l
oyalf r
iendshipsmyhusbandknewnot hing
about .Ididthingswi ththesepeopl ethatwewi l
lgo
tothegr avewi th.Thingsnei therofusr egretdoi ng
becausewehadnochoi cebackt hen.Ical l
edi na
favorf r
om acomr adewhol i
vesinanot herpar tof
theAf ri
cancont i
nent.Heowedmehi sl if
ebecause
hadi tnotbef orme, hewoul dnotbeal ivet oday.I
toldhimt hatIhaveapr oblem andneededhi shel p
takingcar eofit.Weneverwenti ntothedet ailsof
whyIwant edhi mt odowhatIaskedhi mt o.It old
him whot hepr obl em wasandIknewt hej obwas
doneal ready.Igotr idoft hebur nerphoneIcal led
him onandwentonwi thmyl i
fe.Iwassi tt
ingwi th
mysi steront hecouchwhenIgotaphonecal lfrom
Zingisa'
smot hert ell
ingmet hatherdaught erhad
beenmur der ed.Idi dactshockedt oheart het ragic
news.Iknewmyf ri
endwasoutoft hecount ryagai n
assoonast hej obwasdoneandt herewasnowayI
couldhavedonei tbecauseIwashavi ngagl assof
winewi thmysi ster.WhenIdr ovet oLiyema' s
houseIwant edt ocl earmymi ndandIf oundmysel f
drivi
ngt here.Ial mostl osti t
,I'
lladmitbutwhen
Lakhiweaskedmel at erwhyIwasi nast ateIt old
hertheaf fairwasget t
ingt ome.Shebel ievedme
becausei twasnor malf orawomanwhoj ustf ound
outherhusbandcheat edt olosehermi nd.Ial so
hadt hegunt hatki l
ledZi ngisai nmybagbecauseI
toldmycomr adet ol eavei tasecr etplacebef ore
skippingthecount ryagai n.Thel astthingIwant ed
wasf orLakhi wet oseei t
.Igoti nmycart ot hink
aboutmypl ancl ear ly.Iexpect edtobeasuspect
andal soot hermember sofmyf ami l
y.Iputt hegun
i
nasaf epl aceandwenthome, tomyhusbandt ofix
thi
ngs.Ihadt oactl i
keIwascr ushedbyt healleged
cheatingbecausehedeni edit
.Iaccusedhi m of
havingt heaff
airwithhi
ssecretary,notZingisaafter
hearingr umors.Ihadtoactbrokenbyl ett
inggoof
mysel f.Isn'tt
hatwhatmenexpect .Forawomant o
breakdownbecauseoft hei
rcheat ingways?Iknew
thepol icehadnomur derweaponandt hatitwould
helpthem sol vet hemurder
.

Iwenttomar r
iagecounselingwithLiyema' sfather ,
i
twasoursecondsessi on.Hei nbot hsessionshe
call
edmecr azyforthi
nkinghewashavi nganaf fair
andsaidt heoneIknowaboutwast hel astone.Il et
i
tgoandwedr ovehome.Wef oundpol icevehicles
parkedinouryar d.Webot hrushedt otheinsideof
thehouset oseewhatwashappeni ng.Thehouse
wasamessbecauset hecopshaver aidedit.
Cushionswer eont hefl
oorandmyhusbandwas
abouttobur stavein.Theygaveust hesear ch
warrantandt olduswhyt heywer ethere.Itwasa
partofZingisa'
smur derinvest
igati
on.They
searchedever
ywher
eint
hehouseunt
ilt
heygott
o
thesafe.

Det
ecti
ve:“Pl
easeopent
hesaf
eforus,
Mrs
El
ephant,
”hesaidl
ooki
ngatme.

Mr sE:“Idon'
tknowthecodetothesafe,
Detect
ive.
Itiswheremyhusbandkeepsimpor t
antdocuments
hebr i
ngshomeofcasessoI '
m notall
owedaccess
sinceit
'sconfi
dent
ial
,
”Isaidl
ookingathi
m.

Mlu:“
Youhavenotf oundanyt
hing.Isuggestt
hat
yougett
hehelloutofmyhousebef oreIsueyou
all
,
”heshout
edatt hecops.

Det
ecti
ve:“
Wewi
lll
eaveaf
terweseewhati
sinsi
de
her
e,”
Mlu:“
Youwon'tfindanythi
ngbutsomeconf i
dent
ial
workstuf
finhereandalsomywor kcel
lphone,
man!”heshouted.
Mr sE:“
Tata,openforthem sothatt
heycango.I
don'twanttheneighborscal
li
ngthepresswhi
le
theyaresti
llher
e.Justopenthesafesotheysee
therei
snothinginthere,
”Isai
dcalmly.

Ml
u:“
Thi
sisavi
olat
ionofmycl
ient
spr
ivacy,
”
Det
ect
ive:“
Justopenpl
ease,
”

Mluhesi t
antlypressedt hecodet othesafeandthe
detecti
veopenedi t.Ithinkhef earedI '
dfi
ndout
whatwasont he“wor k”cel l
phone.Hewast akenin
forquestioni
ngaf terthepol icef oundhis
fi
ngerpri
nt si
nZi ngisa'sflatbuthemanagedt o
worm himsel foutofitbysayi nghewentt o
welcomeherbackt otown.I nsidethesafewashis
extracell
phonei ndeed, document sandagun.I
couldseehewasconf usedt oseet hegun.Ial
so
stoodlookingshockedt ol earnt hatmyhusband
ownedagun.Thepol i
ceputbot hthecell
phoneand
theguni nplasti
cbagsandt oldhimt ogowi t
hthem
tot hest ation.Iwenthyst eri
callikeat ypi calwi fe
woul dwhenherhusbandi stakeni nf ormur der.I
askedi fIshoul dcalloneofhi scol leaguesbuthe
saidhedoesnotneedanyonebecauseheknewhi s
ri
ght s.Theyputhi mi nawhi t
ecart hedet ectivewas
driving.Idr ovebehindt hem.Idi dnotcal lanyoneas
order edbyhi m.Theyt ookhi mt ot heinter rogat i
on
room whenwear ri
ved.Isatandwai t
edl ikea
concer nedl i
ttl
ehousewi f
e.ThedayLakhi wel eftme
atmysi st er'
sIdecidedt ogobackhomebutnott o
stay, onl yt oputthephonewher eIf oundi t,inhi s
beddr awer .Hemusthavef orgottent oputi nback
i
nt hesaf et hatdayorwasi nar ush.Idon' tcleanso
hehadnor easontof earthatI'l
lf i
ndi t
.Iknewhe
kepti tinhi ssafebecauseI '
venevercomeacr ossit
bef oret hatday.Ineverhadani ssuewi t hnot
knowi ngt hecodeoft hesaf e.Ihadnoi nter estin
thecasef il
eshekeptsecr eti
nt here.Butaf ter
ever ythinghappenedIhadt oknowt hecodesoI 'd
plantt hemur derweaponwhent het i
mewasr i
ght.I
satont hehar dpol
icebenchesf orhour s.Fi nallythe
detect ivehandl i
ngthecasecameout .Ml ungi siwas
handcuf fedandt akendeeperi ntot hest ation.Ir an
t
othedet
ect
ivecr
ying.

MrsE:“Whathappened?Whyismyhusbandin
handcuf
fs?Letmeseehim now!
,
”Idemanded.

Det
ecti
ve:“
Yourhusbandwaschargedwitht
he
murderofMissZi
ngi
saElephant
,”hesai
dandI
act
edshocked.

Mr
sE:“
Onwhatgr
ounds?
”,Ipoi
ntedathi
m.

Detecti
ve:“Thephonewef oundhadmessagesof
conversati
onsbetweenhi m andMrsZEl ephantand
shewascl earl
ythreateninghim.Therewer erepl
ies
fr
om yourhusbandsayi ngthingsl
ike“I
'
llkil
lyou,
bit
chand“ youdon'tknowwhatyou' r
emessi ng
with”
,amongstot hers.

Mr
sE:“
Sowhatdoyouexpectaper
sonwhoi
s
bei
ngthreat
enedtosay?Hemusthaver epli
edout
ofangerbutdidnotmeanhewouldactuall
ykil
lher
dammi t
.Releasemyhusband!
”Ishout
ed.

Detecti
ve:“Ican'
tdothat,
mam, sor r
y.Apartfr
om
thephone, wefoundyourhusband'sf i
ngerpri
ntson
themur derweapon.Hisfi
ngerpr i
ntshavingbeen
foundinherhouseandont heweaponusedt okil
l
herclearl
yshowst hatheisgui
lty.Isuggestyouget
him alawyer,adamngoodone, ”hesai dbefor
e
walki
ngaway.

MrsE:“ Letmyhusbandgonow.Iwi llsuet

hewhole
ofyouwhenheget sout.Letgoofmyhusband, ”I
shoutedbehi ndhi
m asloudlyasmysqueakyvoi ce
could.Isankt ot
hecoldfl
oorcrying.Aladygotup
fr
om herseatt ocomehol dme.“Letgoofmy
husbandpl ease,
”Isai
dinawhi sperandcried
si
lentl
y.

Ihadt
oputupanactbecausepeopl
eknewmef
or
beingadr amaqueen.HadInotmadeascene, I
woul dnothavebeenme.Iknewhi sf i
ngerpr int s
woul dbeal loverherhouse.I '
m sur ehewentt here
topleadwi thhert onotsayanyt hingaf ewt imes
beforehermur der.Hear i
ngt hathehadnoal ibiwas
musi ct omyear sbecausei tmeantIcoul dgoon
withmypl an.Iwentbackhomet ohi m becausei t
wast heonl ywayIcoul dgethi sfinger pr i
ntsont he
gun.Ml uisadeepsl eepersoput ti
nghi s
fi
nger printsont hegunwhi lehewasasl eep,
especi all
yont hetri
ggerwasapeaceofcake.I
knewoncehesawt hephonewasnoti nthesaf e,
he'dputi tbackt hereagai nt ohidei tfrom me.I
askedhi mi fhewascheat ingbuthedeni edi tnot
knowi ngIsawt heevi dence.Nowcr acki ngt hecode
tohissaf ewasnoteasy.It ri
edever yimpor tant
dateIknowunt i
lItriedthedayLul odi es,itwasi t.
Shewashi sf avorit
e.WhenIcar efullypl ant edt he
evidenceIcal ledthepol icewhi leint hebat hroom at
thethear pistwi t
hat empor ar ysi
m car dandgave
them ananonymoust ipoff.I'm alawabi ding
cit
izensoi twaswi thinmyr ighttot ellthepol ice
aboutt het hugIknowofwhogoesar oundki lli
ng
women.Idon'tknowhowLiyemaknewwewer eat
t
hepoli
cestationbuthecamerushi
ngi
n.Lungi
le
f
oll
owedrightafterhi
m.

Li
yema:“Mma, what
'sgoingon?Iwascal
ledbya
fr
iendofminewhowor ksher
esayinghesawyou.I
call
edLungi
lesowecameover ,
”
Lungi:“
IthoughtyouandTataar
enolonger
suspectsaft
eryouexplai
nedwhyyourf
inger
pri
nts
wereinherhouse,”

MrsE:Yourfather
..
.yourf
atherwaschargedwi
th
hermurder,
”bothboysheldontothei
rheadswhi
le
l
ookingateachother.

Liyema:“Basedonhisfinger
pri
ntsbeingather
house.Itwasnosecretthemanl ovedhisex
daughterinlaw,
”helookedatme.“ Letmegospeak
tothedetecti
ve.Whoishislawyer?”heasked
beforerunni
ngoff.
Mr
sE:“
Hesai
dIshoul
dnotcal
lanyone,
”

Lungi
:“Andyoul
ist
enedt
ohi
m?”

Mr sE:“Youknowhowyourf at
herget
swhenwe
don'tf
ollowhisinst
ructi
onsoyes,Lungi
leIl
ist
ened
tohimlikeIhavealltheseyear
s,'
ILOOKEDATHI M.
Liyemar et
urned.

Liyema:“
Theywon'tspeaktome.Whatt hehelli
s
goingon?”Myfat
heri sar
rest
edf oramur derIknow
hedidnotcommitbecausehel ovedZingimor e
thananyofuscombi ned,
hehadnor easontokill
her,man,
”heshouted.

Lungi
:“Li
yemai
sri
ght
,”

MrsE:“
Lungi
,pl
easeexcuseLi
yemaandI
.Ther
eis
somet
hinghemustknow,”
Lungi:“No,Mma,Ihaveasmuchri
ghtt
oknowwhat
thehellisgoi
ngon,
”heshout
ed.

Mr sE:“Andyouwi l
lbutletmespeaktoyour
brotherfir
stpl
ease,
”Ipleaded.Hedi
dnotli
keitbut
hegaveusspace.It ookLiyemawherewecould
tal
kal one.

Liyema:“ Whatisgoingon?”heasked.Iknewt hi
s
wasgoi ngt obreakhim buthemusthearfrom me
thathisfatherwassleepingwithhi
swife.Iwil
lnot
tellhi
m aboutmyst atusbecauseitwouldprove
thatIknewt hathisfat
hersleptwit
hZingiwhich
woul dthenmeanIhadamot i
vetokil
lher.

MrsE:“WhatI'
m aboutt
otell
youi
snoteasybutI
don'
twantthecopstobeatmetoi
t.I
twas
di
scover
edthatyourfat
herhadamoti
vetoki
llher
,”
Li
yema:“Themanwor shipedt
hegroundshe
walkedon.Evenaf
terheari
ngshegavemeHIVhe
wasstil
lhopi
ngI'
dgobackt oher
.SoIdon'
tbel
ieve
you,
Mma.I tmusthavebeenoneofhermanymen,
maybeonewasal socheat
edonbyherbutwasnot
assoftasme,”
MrsE:“Yourfat
herwasoneofherboyf ri
ends,
Ndoda,”hel
ookedatmef oralongwhilewithout
bl
inki
ng,hestoodandtur
nedhi sbackatmebut
l
ookedatmeagai n.Hewascrying.Ist
oodtohold
hi
m butherefusedmycomf or
t.

Li
yema:“
Thehel
l?
,”

Mr sE:“Thepol icesayt heyhavet extmessagest o

provei t
.Appar entlyshethreat
enedhi m.I'm not
surehowbecausehedi dnotsay.“ hi
sphone
buzzedandvi bratedbutheswi tcheditoffwi t
hout
evenl ookingatitandl ookedatmeagai n.“Isuspect
shewant edhimt ohelphergetbackwi thyouorshe
woul dtellus.Yourf at
herthenrespondedwi th
threatstokillherandst uff
,whichI '
m surewas
fueledbyanger ,youknowhowhei s.Wef oundthe
copsallovert
hehouset urni
ngitupsi
dedown.They
evenli
ftedmycatf rom herbedtocheckifshewas
notsit
ti
ngonevi dence.Thenaf t
ersear
chingthey
foundyourfat
her '
ssafe,theoneathomewher e
onlyheknewt hecode.Insidewaswhatt urnedout
tobethegunusedt okil
lZingiandhisfi
ngerpri
nts
werealloveri
t,
”
Li
yema:“Butwhyt
hehel
lkeepi
t?Isuspecthei
s
smartenough,
”

Mr sE:“Af
terhemanagedt oexpl ainwhyhis
fi
ngerpri
ntswer einherhouseandhernei ghbors
vouchedtoseei ngthem togetherandZi ni
sadidnot
l
ookl i
keshef earedforherli
fe,theyhadnof urther
reasontomakehi m mainsuspect .Iguesshe
thoughtsincehewast heonl yonewhoknewt he
code,noonewoul dfi
ndituntilhegotr i
dofit.I
don'tknow,I'
mj usttr
yingtogeti ntohismind,”
Li
yema:“
Hesl eptwit
hher?Myownfat
hersl
ept
wit
hmywi f
e.ForallIknowhewast
heonewho
i
nfect
edher.Youneedt ogot
est
,Mma,
”hesaidand
Icoul
dhearhewasbr
oken.

MrsE:“Iwil
lwhenIhavemoreinfor
mat i
ononwhat
i
shappeningwithmyhusband.Evenafterfi
ndi
ng
outaboutt
hisaff
air
,Icar
eabouthim,”Icri
edand
hehuggedme.

Li
yema::
”Iknow,
Mma.Tr ustmeI
'
vebeent
her
eand
i
tget
sbetter
.Gotestt
hough,”

Mr
sE:“
Howar
eyouf
eel
ing?
”

Liyema:“Crushed,
Mma.Thi shastakenmebackt o
thetimeIfoundoutshewasunf ait
hfulandt oknow
myf atherwasoneofthemen, damn.I'm crushed.I
don'tevencareaboutwhathappenstohi m now,
that'
showbr okenIam.Ijustneed.
..
Ican't.I
'm
going,”
MrsE:“Li
yema,
don'
tdr
ivei
nthi
sst
atepl
ease,
ndoda,
”
Liyema:“I
..
.,
”hewi pedhi
st ear
sof fqui
ckl
ybefore
walkingout.Ihear
dLungi l
ecallhi
snameout .Both
LungiandIr anaft
erhim buthespedof f
.Somuch
thathist
ir
esl ef
tbl
ackmar ksont heparki
ngl
ot's
paving.

ItoldLungi l
esincehei nsistedonknowi ngandhe
toogoti nt ohiscarwi thoutsayi ngawor d.Ical
led
oneofMl u'spartnersatt hef i
rm andhesai dhe
woul dcomeassoonaspossi bl
e.Ithencalledmy
sistertocomepi ckmeupbecauseIcoul dnotdri
ve
i
nmy“ state”.MrDududmashe, theat t
orneyarr
ived
andhegotaccesst ogoseeMl u.Hecameback
afterawhi lesayingi tdoesnotl ookgoodatal l
.
Wi t
houtanal ibiandwi tht heevi denceagainsthim,
hemi ghtgodownf ormur der.Iknewt hat,i
twas
whatIwashopi ngf or.Hear rangedf ormet osee
him.Iwal kedintot her oom andmyhusbandcl ung
tomel i
kebubbl egum onaschooldesk.Ican' t
remembert helastt i
met hathappened.
Ml
u:“
Idon'
tknowwhati
sgoi
ngon?
”

Mr sE:“Ithoughtyouwerehavingaf l
ingwit
hyour
assistantaft
erIheardhowyouar eseenoutwith
heral otandthatwaswhyIconf ront
edyouf or
havinganaf fai
r.Idi
dnotexpectyout ohavehadan
affairwit
hyourson'swife,
Mlungisi,
”Isai
dwhile
crying.

Mlu:“
Itwasami stake.Idon'
tknowwhyIkeptgoing
backtosl
eepwi t
hherbuti twasamistake.You
werenotreal
lyhavingsexwithmethattimeeit
her
,”

Mr
sE:
”SoI
'
mtobl
amef
ort
his?
”
Mlu:“
Nodammi t
.I'
m sor
ry,Zol
a.Yes,Iagr
eet hat
shewantedmet ohelphergetbackwithLiyema
andItr
iedbutf ai
ledbutIdi
dnotmeani twhenI
sai
dI'
dkillherinthedamnt extmessges.Someone
i
sframingme, ”heshouted.Thelookofdefeatinhis
eyesal
mostmademef
eelsor
ryf
orhi
m,al
most
.

Mr
sE:“
Whomi
ghtwantt
ofr
ameyou?
”

Mlu:“Iwoul
dhavesaidyoubutt herei
snowayyou
aresmartenoughtogetsuchr ight.Noof
fense,”I
l
ethim undermineme,that'
sthewhol epl
an.“I
've
angeredalotofcri
minals.Dangerouspeopl
e
neededupbehindbarsbecauseofme.Dammi tI
don'
tknowwhati shappening!,
”heshoutedinanger.

Pol
ice:“
Time'
sup,
”

Mlu:“
I'
llgett
othebott
om oft
his.I
'
m notgoi
ng
downforsomethingIdi
dnotcommi t
,”
Mr
sE:“
Tel
lwhatt
odoandI
'
lldoi
t,
”
Mlu:“
Thisi
swayoveryourhead.LetDudumashe
handl
e.You’
rej
ustahousewif
e,whohasnever
evensati
nanoffi
ce.Dudumashewillsor
tthi
sout
,”
Mr
sE:“
You'
rer
ight
.Idon'
tknowanyt
hing,
”

Ikissedhi scheekbef or
ethecopt ookhi m away.Of
coursewhatt hehellwoul dahousewi feknowabout
framingasmar tbusi nessman? .Iwasnotl yi
ngt o
LiyemawhenIsai dIst i
lll
ovedhi m buthewentt o
far.NowIj usthavet ospi nLakhi weast orybecause
sheknowst hatIknewaboutt heaf f
airbutnott hatit
wasZi ngisa.Sheal soknowsI 'vet estedsoIhavet o
sortthatoutt henI'm homef ree.Ml ucont ributedt o
hurti
ngoursonsohemustpay.Pl usIdon' tfeel
guilt
yforsendi nghi mt ojail
.Hehadt opayf or
maki ngmesi cksomehow.Dududmashe“ the
problem sol ver”lookedst ressed.Ir emember edt hat
Lakhiwehast otestif
yagai nstt hatpigt oday.I
checkedt het i
meandIwasabi tlateal r
eady.It old
Dududmashewher eI'm goingandhesai dhe'lltell
Ml ushoul dheaskwher eIam.Ipr omi sedmy
daught erinl awI'dsuppor ther , soIi ntendon
keepingt hatpr omise.I '
m sur ei t'
swher eLi yema
spedof ftoaswel l
.Itmakesmor esenset osuppor t
hiswi f
et hanst ayatt hepol icest at i
onf eelingsor ry
foramanwhohur thi
m.Iwentwi t
hmysi sterto
court
.Lakhi
wemustknowwel oveherandar et
here
forhernomatterhowbadthesituati
oninourown
l
ivesmightbe.Shehasbeensuchagr eatsupport
tonotonlymysonbutt omeaswel l.

NTOMBI

Iwaspr ayingsohar dthatIwouldnothavet o

testi
fyincour tbutmypr ayerwasnotgr anted.I
guessmyt est
imonyi sneeded.Icameear lyand
havebeencal li
ngLiyemanonst op.Hisphonegoes
strai
ghtt ovoicemai l
.Iwaswor r
iedbecause
somet hingmi ghthavehappenedt ohim.He
promisedt hatnot hi
ngwoul dstophimf r
om comi ng.
Mr sBi stheonl yonewhoconf i
rmedt obeinghere
becauseshepi ckedmeupaf terwaiti
ngforLiyema
toolong.I '
mf eeli
ngsoscar ed,especi
all
ysi nce
Liyemahasnotshowedupyet .Iarri
vedatcour t
earlyasadvi sed.Iwentt oi
nformt hepubli
c
prosecut orofmypr esence.Shewasayoung
professionalwhot r
eatedmewi t
hr espectandt old
menott obeaf raid.Sher eadmyst at ementbackt o
meandi twasasIr emember ed.Iwascal l
edt othe
stand.Mr sBandMr sEwer esi tti
ngi nt hecrowdof
peopl e.IevensawSi ndi,whom Ihavenotseen
sincet helastt i
mewepar ted.Isear chedf ormy
husband' sf acebuthewasnother e.Myhear twas
poundi ng.Il ookedatBonga, whosatwi thhishead
bowed.It houghtIwasr eadyt oseehi m againbutI
waswr ong.Iwant edt ocrybutIhel dmyt earsback.
IneededLi yema, mysaf epl ace.Ithi nkMr sEcoul d
seemesear chf orhim agai nbecauseshekept
l
ooki ngatt hedoorandt henatherwat ch.Iwas
i
nst ructedtomakeanoatt osol emnl yaf fi
rmt hat
myt est i
monywi l
lbet r
uthful .Ispokei nashaky
voice.Icoul dnothel pi t
,Iwasscar edandcl oset o
tears.Thepubl icprosecut orst oodt oquest ionme.

Pr
ocur
ator
:“Pl
easest
ateyounamef
ort
hecour
t,
”

Lakhi
we:“
Ntombi
kayi
seEl
ephant
,”Isai
dasl
oudl
y
asIcoul
dsoIwon'
thavet
orepeatmysel
f.

Procurat
or:“
MrsEl
ephant
,doyouknowt
he
accused,
”

Lakhi
we:“Yes,
yourworshi
p,”Iwastoldt
oaddress
thecour
tasyourworshi
pormyl ord.Iwasnot
comfort
ablewi
thmylord.

Procurat
or:“
Pleaset
ellt
hecour
thowyouknowt
he
accused,
”

Lakhiwe:“
Iwasinar el
ati
onshi
pwithhim,your
worship,
”Il
ookedatBongawhof i
nall
ylookedup.
Hewasbadl ybeat
enandsuddenlyIfel
tlessafr
aid
ofhim.Helooksdefeat
ed.

Procurat
or:“
Howlongdidyourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
tht
he
accusedlast
,Mr
sElephant?
”
Lakhi
we:“
Foraboutf
iveyear
s,”

Procurat
or:“
Pleasetel
lthecourtaboutyour
rel
ati
onshipwiththeaccused,
”

Lakhi
we:“I.
..
I'
m notsur
ewhatt
hecour
twi
shest
o
know,
”Ilookedather.

Procurator
:“Givet hecourtasummer yofwhatyour
rel
ationshi
pwi ththeaccusedwasdur ingthefive
yearsyouwer et ogether
,”
.IlookedatBonga.This
wast hemomentIneededLi yemamostbecauseI 'l
l
havet otal
kaboutt hi
ngsthathurtmedeeplyinthe
past.Isearchedf orhisf
orhisfaceagainbut
nothing.

Lakhi
we:“Bonga.
..
ImeantheaccusedandIf
irst
metwhenIwasei ght
eenyear
sold.Adayaft
erI
hadfi
nishedwri
ti
ngmyf i
nalmatr
icexam.Hewasa
char mi ngmanbackt hen.Ihadneverhada
boyf r
iendbutsomet hingabouthi m dr ewmet ohim.
West ar tedt ot alkandIopeneduabouthowmy
stepmot her...howmyst epmot herwasabusi ngme.
Hesympat hi zedwi thmeandwasashoul dert ocr y
onwhi chmademeopenupt ohi m mor e.Hel ater
suggest edt hatIcomewi t
hhimt oCapeTown
wher ehewoul dhel pmegeti ntouni versi t
y.It
soundedl i
kemypr ayershadbeenanswer ed.Iwas
notonl yescapi ngmysi tuati
onathomebutIwas
alsogoi ngt of urthermyst udi
essoIdi dnott hink
twicebef oresayi ngyes.Wear rivedinCapeTown
andf ort hef irstyeari twasgood, noteasybutgood.
Evenaf t erourshackbur ntdownwi thmy
document sini t,itwasokaybecausehewas
wor kinghar dt osavemoneyt or eplacet hem.He
thenl ef thisj obassecur it
ysayi nghef ound
somet hingt omakehi m bet t
ermoney.Idi dnot
quest ionhi m.Hewast hepr ovidersoheknewbest .
Thingsst artedt ochangeaf t
erthat.Hehadst ar t
ed
todr i
nk, bringf r
iendsandgi rl
soveratt henewRDP
househegotf orus.WhenIwoul dconf r onthi m
abouti thewoul dgetangr yandshoutatme.I '
d
l
eavehi m al
one.Thenhewoul ddoitagainuntil
whenIconf ront
edhim,heslappedme. .
.Isti
ll
rememberhowmyearbuzzedaf t
erthatslap..
.”a
tearf
elldownmycheekandwi peditoffquickl
yand
keptquiettocol
lectmysel
f.

Pr
ocur
ator
:“Takeyourt
ime,
”

Lakhiwe:“ Iwasshockedbecausehowcoul dt he
manIl ovehitme.Hedi dnotevengi vemet i
met o
recoverf rom t
heshockbeforehitti
ngmewi thafist
i
nmyst omachwhi l
ehisdrunkf r
iendscheer edf
or
him...,
”Ipausedduet othecryingonceagai n.
“Manymor eworseinci
dentsfoll
owedaf terthat.
Thewor stonewaswhenhebeatmeupunt i
lIbl
ed
andl ostconsciousnessandblamedi tonthugs...
I
can'ttellyouhowmanyt i
mesI '
vefelthisfistson
mybody, hi
sslapsonmyf ace.Heevent hrew
objectssuchaskni vesatmeoracupswhi chwoul d
somet imesbr eakwhenmaki ngcont actwithmy
head,”Ibr okedownandwasshaki ng.The
magist
r ateaskedifIcouldgoonandIsai dyes.I
wantedi ttobeover.Ijusthadtocoll
ectmyselffi
rst
.
“Imanagedt oescapefrom hi
m buthef oundme
andthreat enedtoki
llawomanIl ovesomuch, Mrs
Bam soIr etur
nedtohi m.Theabusecont i
nuedand
ther
ewer einci
dentswher ehewouldjustdemand
sex,
”
Pr
ocurat
or:“
Soherapedyou?”sheasked.Bonga'
s
l
awyerst
oppedhersayi
ngitwasspeculat
ion.

Lakhi
we:“
NobecauseIdi
dnott
ellhi
mtost
op,
”

Procurator
:“Butyoudidnotgi
veconsenteit
her,
ri
ght?”Inoddedwhi l
ecryi
ng.Sheaskedafewot her
“easy”questi
onsandsatdown.Bonga'slawyer,
Mr
Louwst ood.I'
m guessi
ngheisastaelawyer.

Louw:“Mrs,El
ephant
,youment
ionedthatmycli
ent
abusedyou.Whydidn'
tyouj
ustleavehi
m orr
eport
hi
m? ”
Lakhi
we:“
Iwasscar
ed,
”
Louw:“Soscaredt
ofr
eeyour
sel
fthatyouchoset
o
stayi
nstead?
”

Lakhiwe:“
Youdonotknowhowangr yhegotwhenI
wentagainstwhathesai
d.Hesaidhehadaf ri
end
atthepoli
cestat
ionwhowouldmakemycasego
away.Hewasal sotheonl
ypersonIdependedon,
sowithouthimI'
dhaveli
vedonthestreet
.Iaf
raid
ofhim andofbeinghomel
ess,
”

Hislawyerr ippedmeapar t.Heevensai dthatI

shouldbear restedtoosinceBongat ol
dhi mthatwe
plannedt oconLi yema.Hebasi call
ycalledme
whor einaf ancywor dforbeinginbedwi t
hthevery
samemanIt ri
edt ocon.Heal sosaidthatIshould
beinj ailf
orst abbinghisclientbecauseIknew
Bongawoul dcomet omyf ather'
shousebef orehe
actuallyarri
vedbuti nsteadofcal l
ingforhelp.I
decidedt oattackhi scli
ent.Ifel
tsonakedyetIwas
full
yclot hed.Ther eweremoment swhenIr ai
sed
myvoi cewhi chwasnotal l
owedi ncour t
.Icri
ed
hysteri
cal l
yi nsomei nstanceswhi lelookingat
Bonga' sugl yface.TherewasamomentwhenI
couldnotevenspeakanymor ebecauset hewor ds
j
ustwoul dnotcomeoutofmymout h,justendless
tears.Iwasbr oken.Iwast akenof fthest andwhenI
j
ustbr okedowni ntear
.Myent ireupperbodywas
shaking.Mr sBcamet oholdmeassoonasshe
couldgetcl osetome.Icl ungtoher .It hi
nkIeven
pinchedhert hat'showIhel dont oher .Mr sEwas
alsoint hecomf ort
ingsession.Icalmeddownaf t
er
alongwhi le.Liyemabr okehispromi se.

Mr
sE:“
Mybaby,
Liyem.
..
,”

Lakhi
we:“
Don'
tsayhisname,Mma.Idon'
twantto
hearhi
snameri
ghtnowplease,
”Il
ookedather
.

MrsB:“
CanIt
akeyouhomenow?
”shel
ooked
ar
ound.
Iwasnotsur eifIwasal l
owedt ogohome.Af tera
whileofsi ttingout sidet hecour tr
oom t he
Prosecut orcameoutwi thasmi leonherf ace.She
saysthataf terIleftBongaaddr essedt hecour tand
pleadedgui ltytoall char gest hatinvolveme.Idi d
notfeelbet terbecausehei sguilt
ysoIwasnot
aboutt ot hankhi m.Si ndicamet omeandwe
exchangednumber s.Shesai dshe'sbeenf ol
lowing
Bonga' scasesi ncei tst arted.Ipromi sedherwe' d
catchupandsheunder stoodwhyIcoul dnotspeak.
Mr sEkeptongoi ngonaboutLi yemabutI 'dblock
outthesoundofhervoi cewhenevershedi d,Idon't
wantt otal kabouthi m nort ohi m.Theyt oldusi t'
s
okayf ormet oleave.Il ef twithMr sBsi nceshe
broughtmebecauseLi yemawast oobusywi thwho
knowswhat .Ifel
tcr ushedt ot hecore.Iar ri
vedat
Mr sB'shouseandshemademeani cecupoft ea.
Shedi dnotsayanyt hingj ustatwithme.Wesatl ike
thatunt i
lIf ellasleep.Igotwokenupbymyphone.I
thoughti twasLi yemabuti twasMaEuni cetelli
ng
met hatshei salonewi tht heboysandaski ngwhen
wewi l
lpickthem up.Li yemahast hecarsoi tonl y
makessenset hathewoul dpi ckt heboysup.It ri
ed
calli
nghi m againbutnot hi ng.Ical ledhi smot her
andaskedi fhei sokaybecausesheseemedt o
knowsomet hingIdon' t.Shest artedbysayi ngt hat
hei sangr yathisf atherbecauseofZi ngi sa.WhenI
hear dZingisa'snameIdr oppedt hephonei nherear .
Iwasnotaboutt ol i
stent ohowangr yLi yemawas
aboutZi gisaagai n.I'
mt i
redofhear ingt hatname.
Sohei sokay, hejustcoul dnotcomesuppor tmei n
cour tbecausehei sangr yathi sf atherabout
Zingisa?Tohel lwiththat .Ibor rowedMr sB' scar
andwentt opi ckupmyboys.Theyl ookedsor eli
ef
toseeme.I 'm suret heyknowbynowt hati fot her
kidsget spickeduponeofusar eonourwayt oget
them butnott odaybecauseofZi ngisa?Iputt hem
allinthebackwi thoutcarseat s.Itriedt osecur e
them wi ththeseat beltsoft hecarbuti twasnot
secur eenoughf orthem.I twasst rangef orthem
too.Idr ovebackt oMr sB' spl aceandaskedhert o
driveushome.Shehadnopr obl em hel ping.She
droppedusof fandt hehousewasempt y.No
Liyema.Ical ledhi swor k, noLi yema.Igavemy
babi est hingst okeept hem busywi thwhi leImade
foodf orus.Hi sgr annynevercamebecauseshef el
l
i
ll.Shepr omi sedt ovi si
tsoont hough.If edmy
childr enandwentt obat hthem.I thasbeeneasyt o
doi tal onesi nceI 'vebasi cal
lybeendoi ngital
one
forawhi l
e.Wepl ayedf orawhi l
ebef oretheyslept
.I
want edt osleepatMr sB' ssot hatonecancome
homet oanempt yhouse.Butt heboyswoul dbe
restlessal lnight .Theyl ikethei rownr oom.I
realizedwhenIwasatLi yema' shomei nMt at
a.I
wasnothungr ybecauseaf t
ert hewayt hatlawyer
humi li
atedme, Ican' tstomachanyt hingbutt ea.I
wasmadet of eell ikeawhor eandt hatIdeser ved
theabuse.I 'veneverbr okedowni nfrontof
stranger sl i
ket hat .Iwentt oshowerandputmy
gownon.Iwentt ot akemybagsoI 'dgetsome
schoolwor kdone.Icoul dnot .Ithoughtaboutt he
traumai ncour tagai nandcr iedbutIpul l
edmysel f
toget heragai n.Ial waysdo.Li yemacamei njust
whenIwasaboutt ogoupst airst osleep.

Li
yema:“
Baby,
I'
m sor
ryf
ornotget
ti
ngt
heboys,
I
gotsocaughtupi nthi
sTatanonsense.MaEuni ce
saidyougotthem.Whosecardi dyouuse?”If
elt
l
ikeslappinghi
m butthatwouldmakemenobet ter
thanBonga.Ilookedathim.“Whyar eyoueyes
swollen.Wereyoucryi
ng?”,
hel ookedatme.I
walkedupt hestai
rsbuthefol
lowedmeandhel d
myar m.

Lakhiwe:“Thanksforbeingamanwhocan' tkeep
promises,Liyema.Courtwasgreat,
thanks,
”Isaid
sarcast
icall
y.Tookmyar m outofhisgri
pandwent
tomybedr oom.Icouldhearhim say“shit
”mul t
ipl
e
ti
meswhi lef ol
lowi
ngbehindme.

Li
yema:“Lal
a,I
'm sorry.Mymi ndgotsofi
ll
edwi
th
stuf
faf
terTagotarrested.If
oundoutthathewas
havi
nganaffai
rwithZi ngi
sawhilemarri
edtome,
”

Lakhi
we:“ Idon'
tcar
e!”Ishoutedathimforthefi
rst
ti
mesi ncewe'dbeenmar ri
ed.“I
t'
sZingi
sathis,
Zingi
sat hat
.Gogetherfrom themorgueand
remarryherthen,Liyema,”Isaidwhilecryi
ng.He
gotcloser.“
Don'ttouchme, ”Ishoutedagain.
Luckil
ythedoorwascl osedsot henoisewas
blockedforthekids,wellIhope.

Li
yema:“
I'
m sor
ry,
”hesai
dsof
tl
y.

Lakhiwe:“I'
vedonenot hi ngbutsuppor tyou, Liyema
whileyousor tthingsoutatyourwor k.I'
vehadt o
bit
emyt onguewhenIf eltli
kecompl ainingabout
thi
ngst hatbother edmebecauseIdi dnotwantt o
addt oyourli
fest resses.I '
vebeenbr eakingmy
backt aki
ngonmor eresponsi bil
iti
eswheni tcomes
totakingcareoft heboyswhi chi snoteasyatal l.
I'
vebeendoi ngt hemostandIdi dnotmi ndbecause
tomesuppor ti
ngmyhusbandi simpor tant.AllI
askedi nret
urnwasf oryout o..
.to..
.t
...
t..
tobei n
courtsoIcoul dhavea“ safeplace”whi l
ether e.You
weresupposet obemysaf eplaceasyoupr omi sed
youwoul dbutyouwer enott here.Thatwasal lI
asked, f
oryout obet her e,”Il
ookedathi m whi le
cr
ying.

Li
yema:“
I'
m sor
ry,
”

Lakhi
we:“It'
snotenough.Ican'
tbel
ievehowselfi
sh
you'
veactedt odayandt
oleaveourchil
drenat
daycareknowi ngIdi
dnothaveacar?IfIhearyou
sayZingi
sa'snameonemor eti
me,I
'l
lscream.I'
m
notgoingtocompet ewi
ththeghostofadead
woman.Pl easego,”
Li
yema:“ Lal
a,I'
m sorr
y.I
tsl
ippedmymi nd.Ican't
bel
ieveitsli
ppedmydamnmi nd,shi
t.I
'
m sorry.
Thereisnoexcuse..”

Lakhiwe:“Getoutofther oom please.Ihadalong

day.Ihadsuchal ong. .
.dayan..
.andIcan'tri
ght
now.I'vebeentakingonsomucht ryi
ngtosupport
youandyourmot her.Ican't
..
.I
'mt i
red.Pl
easejust
sl
eepi ntheguestroom becauseIcan' tbenextto
yourightnow,please.Youspentt heent i
redaywho
knowswherecryi
ngaboutthingsthati
nvolveyour
exwifeandf
orgotthatI
,yourcurr
entwifeneeded
you,
”

Li
yema:“Andbeingher
eri
ghtnowlist
eni
ngtoyou
makesmer eal
izehowbei
ngcaughtupinwhat
happenedwasnotwort
hit,
”
Lakhi
we:“
Iwantt
osl
eep.Pl
easego,
”Il
ookedat
hi
m.

Li
yema:“
Lakhi
wepl
ease,
”hepl
eaded.

Lakhi
we:“DoyouknowwhatIf oundouttoday,
Li
yema?Youknowwhat ,j
ustleavemealone.Goso
Icandealwi
thwhathappened,”Isai
d.Hepleaded
andevenwentonhiskneesbutIcouldnot.

Hel ookedatmeandt henhewalkedoutslowl

y.I
closedandl ockedt
hedooraf
terhelef
t.Iwant
edto
tellhi
mt hatBongahadsexwit
hmewi thoutmy
consent .It houghtt hatbecauseIdi dnotsayno
whi l
ehewasdoi ngi t,
itwasr i
ght.It houghtt hatme
notsayi ngnowasmegi vinghi m consent .Bonga
knewIdi dnotwantt osleepwi t
hhi m butIwashi s
girl
friendsoIf ooledmysel fintothinki nghehadt he
ri
ght .Iwant edtotellhimt hatwhi l
ehewasout
cryinghi seyesoutf orhisex, Ifoundoutt hatsex
thatawomandoesnotwanteveni fshedoesnot
say“ no”outl oud,wasconsi deredr ape.Hewasnot
theret oheart hatbecausehewassomewher e
cryingbecauseofhi sexwi fe.Inevert houghtabout
havingsexwi thBongat hosel asttimesasr ape.I
knewIdi dnotwanti tandt hatIf el
tdi rtyafterward
butIneversawi tasr ape.Tomer apewaswhena
manf orcesawomant ohavesexaf tershesai d
“NO! ”clear l
yandoutl oud.Ineversai dnobutIdi d
notsayyesei ther.Thel i
nesgotbl ur redbecauseI
didnotsaynonordi dIsayyes.Iwentt oourbed
andIcr i
edevenmor e.Ihearwhyhei shur t
.Hi s
fathersl eptwi thhisexwi f
ewhi l
et heywer emar ri
ed.
Buthecoul dhavecomet ocour t,j
ustsoI '
dseehi s
faceandt henwewoul dhavedeal twi thittogether
buthechoset odot hingsinawayt hatmademe
feellikeZingisameantmor et ohi mt hanhel eton.
Hemademef eelinsecur eandal lt hatbecauseofa
deadex.I '
m sorryhi sdaddi dt hatt ohi m butIst il
l
don' tseeitasanenoughofanexcuset onotcome
outandsuppor tme.Ical ledhi m andhi sphonewas
on.Sohesawmycal lsbutchoset oswi tchhis
phoneof fsoIcoul dnothi m.Seei ngmynameon
hisscr eenshoul dhavet ri
gger edhi smemor y
becauseIdon' tjustcal lhim dur ingwor khour sf or
nothi ng.I'
m disappoi ntedandsad.Iwashopi ngt o
feelt hosesoftkisseshel i
kessomuchwhi l
ewe
l
aidi nourbedaf terhavi ngadi f
ficultday.Coul dt he
suppor ti
nt hi
smar ri
agebeonesi dedwheni t
comest ocert
aint hings?Igotundert hecover s
aftermyeyeswer ecr i
edout .Theywer eburning
andsor efrom crying.I '
m sur eLi yemanotbei ngi n
cour tgaveBongagr eatsat isfactiont oo.Ihave
neverneededmyhusbandmor ethanIneededhi m
todayandhef ail
edme.Hi m breaki nghi spromi se
hur tmor ethanhavi ngt ober i
ppedapar tbyBonga' s
l
awyer ,somuchmor e.Thosepeopl earenot hingt o
mebuthei smyever ythingandmyever ythi
ngl et
medownt heonet imeIaskedf orhi ssuppor t.We
weresupposetostil
lbei
nahappymar
ri
agebubbl
e
butIt
hinkthatbubbl
eburstt
oday.
[
03/
28,
17:
20]Lynne:FORTYEI
GHT

LI
YEMA

Istoodont heot hersi deoft helockeddoorknowi ng

thatmywi f
ei sinsidecr yi
ngbecauseofme.Idon' t
deser veher .Iwillnotevent r
yt ojustifymyact i
ons.
Iwaswr onganddeser veanythingshechosest o
throwatmebutonet hingIcan'taffordislosi ngher.
I'
dbel ostwi t
houtherIknowt hatf oraf act.Isat
withmybackagai nstt hedoorwi t
hmyownt ears
fl
owi ngdownnotbecauseofwhatIhear daboutmy
fatherbutbecauseIf eltli
keIfail
edmywi f
e.If eel
l
ikeI '
vef ail
edatbei ngt hemanshedeser ves.I
want edt ocuddl ehersomuch.Imi ssher.I'm sorry
forbei ngsel f
ish.Ist oodandwentt otheboysr oom.
Ifoundt hem allsleepi ngpeacef ul
ly.I'
m sur eitwas
noteasyf orLakhi wet oactokayi nf r
ontoft hem.I
can'tremembert hel astt i
meIspentr ealti
mewi th
allf
iveoft hem.I 'm surei ftheyhadt ochoose
whosecar et heywantt obei n,theywoul dsay
mommy.Howcoul dIfor gettopickupmychi l
dr en?
Howcoul dIf orgettheonedaymywi feaskedmet o
bether eforher ?Ipr omi sedhernot hingwoul d
standint hewayofmebei ngi ncourtbutIl ett he
oneper sonIdespi sedwhoi snotevenal ivestop
me.Iki ssedeachboyont hecheekbef oreleavi ng
them tor est .Iwentt ot estourbedr oom dooragai n
butitwasst il
llocked.Iwentdownst airst oget
somewat erwhenIhear daknockont hedoor .It
wasl atesoIdi dnotexpectanyone.WhenIopened
thedoorIf eltahar dslaponmyf acebef oreeven
l
ookingatt heper son.It urnedmyf aceandsaw
Mmal ooki ngangr y.Shepushedmeasi deandl et
herselfin.Mma:" IfIcoul dputyouovermyl apand
giveyouadecentbeat i
ng, Iwoul d.Wher ethehel l
wereyouwhenyourwi feneededyou, Liyema? ,
"she
pointedatme.Li yema:" Nowher e.Idrovear ound
j
ustt oclearmyhead.Idon' t.
..,
"sheslappedme
againbef or eIcoul dsayanyt hi
ngf ur
ther ."Mma,
stopit.Youdon' tgettocomei ntomyhouseand
slapmel ikesomel i
ttl
eboywhoneedst obe
disci plined, "Ishout edsof tl
y.Mma:" Youact edl ike
oneear lieron, sodon' tblamemef ortreat i
ngyou
accor dingl y.Youdon' tunder standhowmuchshe
neededyout her e,doyou? ,"shesai di nashaky
voice.Li yema:" Ireal i
zei t
,Mma.Tr ustme, If eell i
ke
shitf ornotgoi ng,"Mma:" Iwat chedt hatpoorgi rl
holdyourhandwhi leyouhadt rouble.Whi l
eshe
heldyourhandwi thonehand, shehel dmi nei nher
otherhandwhi l
eyourchi ldrencl ungt oherand
whi leherschoolwor kwasl yingheavyonherback.
Pict uret hat,Liyemaandmaybet henwi llyour ealize
howmuchLakhi wehadonhershoul der s.She
car riedusal onebutwhensheneededt heone
per sonsheshar esl if
ewi tht ocar r
yher , youl ether
fallont hehar d, coldconcr etefloorheadf i
rst
l
eavi ngherbl eeding.Ihel dherbutshecoul dnot
balancebecauseherst ongestpi l
larwasnott her e
forhert ol eanon, that'showshel andedont hef loor
bleedi ng.Iwantyout omakeament alpi ctureof
thatbecauset hat'
showmuchyouhur ther , j
ustnot
physi cal l
ybutal ltheot herways, "shepoi ntedatme
whi lecr ying.Thepi ctur eofmywi febleedi ngona
concr etef loorbecauseIwasnott heret osuppor t
herpl ayedi nmymi ndandIhat edmysel fforit.I
t
mi ghtnotbeherheadt hat'sbleedi ngbutIknowher
hear tandsoular e.Liyema:" I'
m sor ry,Mma, "Icried
too.Mma:" I'
m nott heoneyoushoul dbesayi ng
thatt o.Shel earnedt odayt hatshewasavi ct i
m of
rapet oo, "Il
ookedather .Myhear twasbeat ingata
ratet hatwasnotnor mal .Rape?" Thatt hingusedt o
havesexwi thherwi thoutchecki ngi fshewasokay
withi t.Shet houghtnot hingwaswr ongbecause
howcanaboyf ri
endr apehi sgi rl
fri
end, ri
ght ?Wel li
t
happensandi thappenedt oyourwi f
e.I tmi ghtnot
havebeent hevi olentr apewher esheki ckedand
scr eamedbuthesl eptwi thherwhenshegaveno
consent .Shedi dnotseei tasr apebecauseshedi d
notsaynobutt hecour tmadeherr ealizethatayes
wasnevergi venei ther .Idon' tknowhowyouwi l
lfix
this,Liyema.I '
m hur tonherbehal f.Icannot
i
magi nehowshemustbef eeling,"Ibr okedownand
sankt othef loor.Iwasnott hereandi twi l
lforever
l
eaveamar konourmar ri
age.Li yema:" Iwon' t
blameherf orleavingme.Shedeser vesmor e,
"I
saidbet weensobs.Mma:" Afterwhatyoudi d,I
agr ee.Ifyoul oseher ,you' llneverf indanot her.Let
met ellyounow, womenl ikeLakhi wedon' tfal lfrom
trees.Weputupwi tht hecr apourhusbandsf eedus
butgoodwomenhavel imi t
st oo.Yourf ather
pushedmeovert heedgesoI 'm done.Ij usthope
Lakhi wedoesnotf eel thesame.Gonear ethedays
womensuf feredjustt of l
auntadamnr i
ng.Ihat e
rubbingt hisinyourf acebutnooneel sewi llbeas
honestasIam wi t
hyou, "Li yema:" HowdoIf i
xt hi
s,
Mma? "Mma:" Idon'tknow, Ndoda.Al lIcansayi s
giveherspaceandl etherbet heonet ocomet oyou
whenr eady.I nthemeanwhi l
er emi ndherwhy
you'rewor thherst aying.Ican' tbel i
eveyoul etyour
fatherandZi ngisagett oyoul iket his,"Liyema:" I
know, Iknow.Iwasst upi d,"Mma:" Alsoonce
forgivenori fforgiven, findbal ancebet weenhome
l
ifeandwor k.Whenyougotast ablehomel ife, you
focusedont hatandl ostmoneybecauseyou
neglect edbusi ness.Nowyou' vebur iedyourheadi n
wor kandnegl ecthome.Bal ance, Liyema.I nt he
meant i
met akeyourr esponsi biliti
esyouhadback
from Lakhi we.She' st i
red.Don' twor ryaboutyour
father.Hist rustedf r
iendDudumashei shandl ing
things.Focusonyourwi f
eandki ds.Yourf atheri s
notwor thmyt earsnoryour sandyourbr other's.Let
mego.I '
m st ayingatMakazi 'sshoul dyouwantt o
bringt heboysover .Imi sst hem andMakazi won' t
mi ndt hatwel ookaf terthem f oraweekend.Il ove
you, "Liyema:" Thanks, Mma.Howar eyouhol di ng
up? ,"Mma:" Focusher e, Liyema.I '
llbewi thmy
fami lyget t
ingl oveandsuppor t.Youbeher e,be
presenther e,"sheor der ed." Iwon' tloseano. ..
"she
stoppedher selffrom talking.Li yema:" Anot her
daught erbecauseofme.Idon' twantyout oeither"
Mma:" I'
m sor r
yf orsayi ngt hat .I
'mj ustemot i
onal .
Goodni ght.Makazii swai ti
ngout sidef orme, "She
kissedmycheekandl eft.Iexpect edhert of allapart
afterwhatshehear dt odaybutshewasgood.She
toldmeTawasst i
lli
nj ail.Ididn'tcar e.Whathedi d
hur tmebutIdon' tknowwhyIwassur prised.He
andZi ngisawer ethemostsel fi
shpeopl eIknow.
AndnowbecauseIl etthem gett ome, Iwassel fi
sh
towar dsmywi fe.Rape?Mywi fer ealizedt hatandI
wasnowher etobeseen.It hr ewmysel font he
couchandj ustt houghtofwayst of i
xt hings.Iat e
anappl eanddr ankmypi l
ls.Iwentt ot hecouch
agai nandmusthavedozedof f.Iwokeupwi t
ha
sorebackbecauseoft hedamncouch.Iwentt oour
dooragai nbuti twasst illl
ocked.Iwentt ot heboys
room andt heywokeupsl owlybutsur ely.Theyt hen
creat edchaosaf t
erthat .Theyal lstar tedtocr yand
wentt oourbedr oom door .Ifonl ytheyknewt hatI
want edhert oopent oo.If inall
ymanagedt ocal m
them down.Ihadf orgot tenwhatahandf ultheyar e.
Igott hem r eadyt oschoolandf edt hem.They
messedt hecl ot hest heyhadonandIhadt o
changet hem al l.Ihadt opackt heirbags.Ican' t
believet hatI '
vebeensosel f
isht ol etLakhi wedo
thisal one.I t
'sami ssi ont ogett hem r eadyt ogether
sof oroneper soni t'
snear lyimpossi ble.After
shout i
ngatt hem sever al t
imes, t
hem cr ying,them
throwi ngt antrumsandmel osingmycool .Ifi
nally
gott hem i nthecarandof ftodaycar e.Istil
lhad
yest erday' scl othesonandIhadnotbr ushedmy
teethnorwashedmyf ace.Theydon' tcr ywhen
beingdr oppedof fsot hat '
sar elief.Idr oveback
home, ateasl iceofdr ybr eadjustt ohave
somet hingi nmysyst em.Lakhi wecamedown
wear i
ngapl ayf ulshor tj umpsui t.Shehadnotwor n
shor tst uffsi ncewe' vebeenmar ri
ed.Idon' tmi ndit
butIknowt hoseboyswi llgi vehert roubl eby
aski ngherout .Shet ookabanana, herbagand
wal kedt othedoor .Liyema:" Lal a, pleasel et'
st al
k,"I
rant oherandshej ustl ookedupatme.Lakhi we:
"I'
ml ate,theshut tlewi llleavewi t
houtme, "shesai d
whi let r
yingt opassbutIdi dn' tlether .Wewentt o
bedwhi leangr yateachot her .Thathasnever
happened.Li yema:" I'
l
lt akeyou.I 'veal readyt aken
theboyst odaycar e,"Lakhi we:" Shoul dIwr it
eyoua
thankyoucar d? "sheaskedsar cast ical l
y.I
deser vedt hat .Li yema:" No, baby.Ij ustwantust o
talkpl ease, "Lakhi we:" Gor eincar nat eyourot her
wif e.Shei smor ei mpor tant ,isn'tshe? "shel ooked
atme.Li yema:" Mmat oldmet hathappenedi n
cour tyester day, "Lakhi we:" Idon' twantt ot alkabout
i
t,"shepushedmeasi debutIhel dher .Liyema:
"Lal a,please.Ibegyout oj ustl i
st en,"shest oodwi th
herbackt owar dsme." I '
m sor r
yIwasnott here.I
won' tevent ryt oj ustifymysel f,Iwaswr ong.Pl ease
tellmehowt of ixi t
,"Lakhi we:" Gobacki nt i
met o
bef or ethecour tt i
mest ar ted.Pi ckmeupf rom
homel ikeyoupr omi sedandgowi thmet ocour t
,"I
feltdef eated.Li yema:" Baby, youknowIcan' t
,"
Lakhi we:" Thenyoucan' tfixi t,
"shel ether selfoutof
mygr ipandr anout .IknowMmasai dIshoul dgive
herspacebutIcan' t.Imi ssherandIwantust ot al
k
aboutyest erday.Iwanthert oletmei nagai n.I
wantt oknowhowshei sr eal lyfeelingandwhat '
s
onhermi nd.Iwantt ot alkabout ..
.aboutt her ape.
Damnt hatcowar df orput tingmywi f et hroughsuch
shit.Iwat chedasshewal kedoutoft heyar dand
ranupt her oadt ocat chat axiorashut tl
ei ntime.I
wenti nsi dehat i
ngmysel f.It ookashower ,had
somebr eakf ast,gotdr essedandwentt owor k.I
couldn' tfocussoIaskedt het eam i fIcanl eave.
Theysai dt heywi l
lkeept hi ngsr unni ngandcal li
f
theyneededme.Mmawasr ight,Ineededt olearn
tobal ance.Ical ledDudumasheandaskedhi mt o
organi zef ormet oseeTat a.Hegotdeni edbai l
becausehei saf lightr isksi ncehecanaf fordto
skipt hecount r
y.He' llbet ransf erredt opr i
sont o
awai thist rial.Ifoundhi ml ookingdef eat edbuthe
keptast raightf ace.Ta:" Youneedt ogetmeoutof
here.I '
vemadeal i
stofpeopl ewhomi ghtbebeh. ..
,
"
Liyema:" Af terever ythingt hatsur faced, youcan
onlyor dermet ogetyououtofher e?Noapol ogyor
atleastshowyou' r
eremor sef ul?"Ishout ed.Ta: "
For
somet hi
ngt hati soveranddonewi t
h?I thappened
yearsago, Liyema.Soyou' regonnal etyourdeadex
wifegetbet weenus? "Ihel dhi m byt hecol l
arandI
couldseehewasnotexpect ingi t.Liyema:" What
youdi druinedt hingswi thmywi fe,mywi fenott hat
thi
ngyouchosef orme.Becauseofyoumy
mar ri
ageisi ntroubleandIsweari fmywi feleaves
me, you'
llpay,"Ta:" Manupandst opbl ami ngme
foryourpr oblems.I fyou' r
ehavi ngpr obl emswi th
yourwi f
eisbecauseyouar eweakasahusband.
Youpr ovedt hatbyyourf i
rstonecheat ingonyou
andwhoknowswhatt hisonehasdone.Beaman,
beahusbandandnott hisweakboyIsee.Maybe
thenwi l
lyoupassatbei ngadamnhusband, "I
want edtopunchhi m butIgr ewupbel ievi nghitti
ng
youreldersbr ingsbadl uck.Iwi llnotl etbadl uck
foll
owmebecauseofhi m.Li yema:" You' ret heweak
one.Yougoar oundact i
ngl ikeyou' r
et heshi tbut
you'renot.You' r
enowi njailf acingmaxi mum
sentenceyetyout el
lmeI '
m weak.Atl eastI '
m man
enought oknowt hatawomani st ober espect ed.At
l
eastI '
m manenought ohaveneverl ai dahandona
woman, l
etaloneki l
lone.Youki ll
edadef encel ess
womanandi fthatmakesyoust rongasaman, I
'd
ratherbeweak.Lookatyou.Al lovert hepaper s.
You'repat hetic.Youl ostadi amondi nMmawhi le
chasi ngZingisa, shewasnotevenadamnst one,
shewasdust .Ican'tbel ievet hatIwasnotwi thmy
wifebecauseofwor thlessshi tslikeyout wo.Ihope
your otinhel l
,"Isaidt ohi m." Got estyour selfwhi l
e
atit,
"Ilefthim st andingt her elookingshocked.I
drovet oLala'scampusandwai t
edf orher .I
'm not
surei fshe'l
lpassbywher eI'
m standi ngbutI '
m
hopingshewi ll
.Isati nthecarf oroveranhourbut
nosi gnofher .Iwentoutt hecart oleanagai nsti t
soshe' dseeme.Agr oupofl adiescamel ooki ngat
mel ikeI '
m asnack.Ihat edi t
.Oneoft hem was
evenbr aveenought ocomet ome.Herbr eastswer e
almosthangi ngoutofhert op.Shegr eetedmeandI
waspol i
teandgr eetedback.Shest oodsocl oset o
meIcoul dhearherbr eath.Imadesur etocr eat ea
gapbet weenus.Ievenaskedhert oleavebecause
I'
m wai ti
ngf ormywi febutshewasnotbacki ng
down.If el
tsouncomf ort ableandwasaboutt oget
backi nmycarwhenIsawLakhi wel ookingatme.
Shewentt heot herdi rection.Ir anaf terherbutshe
disappear edi ntot hepassages.Ideci dedt onot
embar rasshermor eatschoolandl eft.Hour swent
byandIwentt ogett heboys.Icookeddi nnerwhi l
e
theywat chedTVandpl ayed.Lal awal kedinand
theyallrant oher ,theyhavenotseenheral lday.
Shehuggedt hem andgavet hem eachaki ss.HowI
wisht oal sogetherhugandki ss.Shegavemea
deathst arebef oresittingont hemati nt helounge
playi
ngwi tht heboys.Ideci dedt ogi veherspace.
AfterIfinishedcooki ng, wef edt heboysi nsi lence.
Shewant edt obat hthem butIsai dI '
ddoi t
.Idi dso
andputt hem i nsl eepwear .Theyf el
tlikebei ngwi t
h
mommymor ebef oresl eeping.Theyal lj
ustsatwi th
her,eachhol dingsomepar tofher .Iwi shIcoul d
too.Theyf ellasleepwhi l
ei nherar ms.It ookt hem
eachupt obedandf oundhercol l
ectingt heirt oys.I
helpedherbutshest oppedandwasaboutt ol eave.
Ipleadedwi thhernott oandshesatont hecouch
witharmscr ossed.Li yema:" I'
m sor ryf orgoi ngt o
campus.Thatgi rlIpro...,
"Lakhi we:" She'sl i
ket hat.
Shet hrowsher selfatanymanwi thacarsoyou' re
notspeci al,"shesai dsar cast i
cally.Liyema:" I'
m
gladbecauseIonl ywantt obespeci alforyouand
toyou.Lal a, Iwasnoti ncour tandnoamountof
wishi ngwi l
lchanget hat .AllIcandoi taskhowyou
aref eelingnow, "Lakhi we:" I
'm angr y.I'
m angr yat
youandIdon' tthinkI'llstopanyt i
mesoon, "Li yema:
"Whi chi sunder st andabl e.Mmat oldme
about ...
about .
.."Lakhi we:" I'
m act uallynotashur t
aboutt hat.I'
vespokenaboutt hatwi ththet her api
st
butshenevergavewhathappenedt herapel abel.I
guessshewasshi el
dingmef rom f eeli
ngl ikea
victim.Yes, Inowseei tdi f
ferentlybutI '
llbeokay.I t
happenedandI 'llgetoveri t
.I'
veal waysgot tenover
things.What '
sonemor etot helist,ri
ght? "she
l
ookedatme.Li yema:" Babydon' tsayitl i
keI '
m not
her etost andbyyou, pl ease,"Icr i
ed.Lakhi we:
"Wher ewer eyouyest erdaywhenweneededyou
most ?"shecr iedt oo.Li yema:" Bei ngasel fi
shj erk
andmaki ngmywi f
ef eel l
ikeshe' salonei nt his.I
wasnott herewhenyouneededmemostandI '
m
sor r
y.Ihat .
..
Ihat emysel fsomuchf orit
,"Isai d
whi l
ewi pingmyt earsof f.Shej ustlookedatme
whi l
ecr yi
ng.Lakhi we:" Ineededyou, Li
yema, "she
saidqui et
ly." Isear chedf oryou.Evenhadyoubeen
theonl ypersont heret osuppor tmei twoul dhave
beenenough.Mr sEandMr sBwer et her ebut
withoutyout heper sonI '
m supposedt of ace
anythingwi t
hnotbei ngt here,itwasasi fIwas
alonewi thBongaagai nfeeli
ngl i
keahel plesst hi
ng
thathecoul ddowhat everwi t
h.Iwant edt olookat
yourfacel i
keyousai dIshoul dwhent estifyi
ngbutI
searchedf oryourf aceandyouwer enott here.You
didn'
tevenr ealizeyouf orgotsomet hingi mpor tant.
Evenhadyoubeenl at eI'
dhaveappr eciatei t
.I
neededyou, "shecr iedmor e.Icriedunt ilIfelt
nauseous.Webot hj ustcr i
ed.Iwant edt ohol dher
butIwasnotsur eshe' dal l
owmebutshewast he
onet ocomet omeandIgr abbedheri nt omyar ms
soqui cklybeforeshecoul dchangehermi nd.Idon' t
deservet hi
swoman, notbyal ongshot .Iheldont o
hersot ightl
yandshehadherar mswr appedt i
ghtly
aroundmyr ibar ea.Itwasasi fshe'dcr usht hem.
Liyema:" I
'm sorryIletwhathappenedmakeme
neglectyou.Ipr omi seI 'l
lneverputanyoneor
anythingbef oreyouandt heboysagai n.Iwasj ust
shocked, babyandnei therofthosepeopl edeser ved
myt ime,"shel etgoofme.Lakhi we:" I
tdoesn' t
meanI 'vef or givenyou.You' l
lst i
llsleepi nthe
guest room unt ilIcansl eepnextt oyouagai n.You
hurtme, Liyema.Al ltheyear sofbei ngbeat enby
Bonga, doesnotcompar etohowt hishur tme
becauseIl oveyou.Wi llIhavet ohearaboutt his
womaneveni ndeat h?I '
vegivenyouspacet o
processherdeat htoo.I '
m havi ngi ssuesofmyown.
Mygr adesar edropping.Igot48%i nani mpor tant
testbecauseIcoul dn'tstudyf oritduet owhathas
beengoi ngon, "Liyema:" Whydi dyounott ellme?
We' dhavef oundawayt ol
etyouhavet i
met o
study,"Lakhi we:" That'
smyf l
aw, Iputever yoneel se
fir
standf or getaboutmysel f.If oroncewi shpeopl e
coulddot hesamef orme.Igi veoutki ndnesst o
everyoneper sonIcar eaboutbutIf orgetI'
ma
persont oo, thatIneedanddeser vemyown
kindness, "Li yema:" Youdeser veal lthegoodt hings,
you'recl ear lyj ustsurroundedbysel flesspeopl e,
mysel fi ncluded.Ipr omi seit'
llneverhappenagai n,
never ,
"Lakhi we:" We'l
lsee, Li
yema.Isawyour
fatheront hecoverofanewspaper .Di dhedoi t
? ,
"
Liyema:" Al ltheevi dencepoi ntt ohi m andhehada
mot ive,"Lakhi we:" How' sMma? "Liyema:" Shei s
okay.Don' twor ryabouther .Focusonyour self,"
Lakhi we:" Myhusbandi snotf acingj ailtimef or
mur der .Shecan' tbef ine,"Ical ledMmaandl etLal a
speakt oherher self.Itsoundedl i
keMma' spl aying
musi cint hebackgr oundbutshecan' tbeout
havi ngf unwi thherhubbyi nj ai
l.Lalapr omi sedt o
goseeMmat omor rowbutMmasai dshecan' t
comebecausemeandLal awi l
lbegoi ngt oDur ban
fortheweekendwhi l
esheandMakazi wat cht he
boys.Al lexpensespai d.WehungupandLal adi d
notseem t ookeen.Li yema:" Doyouwantt ogo? "
Lakhi we:" Witht hingsbei ngt hewayt heyar e
betweenus?Idon' tknow, Liyema.Idon' tt hinki t'
sa
goodi dea,"Liyema:" It'
llbet hef ir
sttimewegett o
spendt imet oget her ,
Lal a.I'llsleepont hef l
oor .
Maybet i
meawayf rom t his, allofitwor k, var sity,
extendedf ami l
yandevent heboysi swhatweneed.
We' vebeendi str
act edwayt oomuch, "Lakhi we:" I'
ll
thinkabouti t.Doyouneedanext r
abl anket ? "
Liyema:" Imi ssyou.Imi ssf alli
ngasl eepwi thyoui n
myar ms, "Lakhi we:" I'
lltaket hatasano.Goodni ght.
I'
llgiveyoumyanswert omor rowr egar dingt het ri
p,"
shewal kedawayLi yema:" Iloveyou, LalaandI '
ll
neverdr opthebal li
nt hatwayagai n.I '
m sor ryI
couldn'tmakeyouf eel saf e,
"shel ookedastme.
Lakhiwe:" I
'm sorryyoucoul dn'tt
oo.Goodni ght,"
shesai dbeforegoi ngupt hest ai
rs.I '
m hopi ngt hat
she'l
lagr eetogot omor r ow.Anot herni ghtwi thout
hernextt omeandi t
'stor ture.Atleastshespoket o
mewhi chispr ogress.Imadesur et hedoor sar e
l
ockedandswi tchedt hel i
ght sof f
.Iwentt ot hecol d
guestroom mi ssingmyownbedsomuch.Iwent
downonmykneesandsai dapr ayer .Ineeded
God'shel ptof i
xt hingswi thmywi fe.Makhul u
call
edsayi ngshei sonherwaywi tht heuncl eson
Tuesdaynextweek.Thecal ledMmat ot ellhert o
accommodat eheri nlaws.Idon' twantpeopl e
aroundandhaveLal ar unni ngar oundl ooki ngaf ter
them andf orgetabouther selfandherbooks.I '
ll
takeonext raloadnowt hatt hingsatwor kar ebet t
er.
MyLal aneedst of ocusonvar sit
y.Thenextt ime
Mmapai ntsament alpi ctureofherf all
ing.The
wantt obet heret ocat chher ,
I'
llwi l
lbet here.I'll
nevermakeherf eel aloneagai n.Iwantt obeki ndt o
mywi feandki dsneverwanthert onegl ecther self
again.Ifshef all
sapar t,weal ldo.Ihaveaf eeling
thatthisrapet hinghur thermoret hanshel etson
butI'l
lwaitunt i
lsheopensupt omeher self.Iwon'
t
makehergot hroughi talone.Iwasnott hereeven
shef oundoutbuti fi
t'
scausedanyki ndoft rauma,
I'
llbethereandhol dherhandwhi lesheget s
throughit.Ilovehert oomucht oloseher .Maybe
ti
meal onewi l
ldousgood.I tdoesn' tevenhavet o
beapassi onfill
edget away.Ijustwantt oholdher
andl i
stenwhenshet al ks.I'
m prayingsheagr eest
o
go.
[
03/
28,
17:
20]Lynne:FORTYNI
NE

Nt
ombi

Idecidedagai
nstgoingont heDur bantri
pwi t
h
Liyema.NotbecauseIdi dnotwantt obutIfelti
t
wouldmaket hi
ngswor seratherthanbetter
becauseIwasnotr eadyt ogoawayal onewithhim.
I'
vebeenobservi
ngmyhusbandf orthepastfew
weeksandr emember edoneoft hereasonswhyI
mar r
iedhi
m.WhenLi yemasayshei ssorr
y,hedoes
notj ustsayi tinwor dsbuti nact i
onst oo.I '
ve
wat chedhi mt akebackhi shomer esponsi bilit
ies
thathavet rulybeenl yi
ngheavyonme.Heevent old
hismot hert oaccomodat etheEl ephantuncl essoI
woul dnothavet or unar oundlikeheadl esschi cken
topl easedemandi ngi nlaws.Mmadi dnotgohome
toherhouse.Theuncl escamewi ththeirwi vesand
shegavet hem accesst ot hehouse.Makhul ugot
sickerwhenshehear daboutherson' sar restand
hisaf fairandcoul donceagai nnotcome.I '
m not
surehowIf eelaboutMrEl ephant '
sar rest.Ii magi ne
amanl i
kehi mt ocleanuphi smesswel l when
commi t
tingacr i
me.Iknowt heevi dencepoi nt
st o
him butt hi
smur derl ooks" t
oomessy"f oraman
l
ikehi m orI 'mj ustletti
ngmyi magi nationgett he
betterofme.Ihavedeci dedtoj ustgetbackt o
normalbef oreIal l
owf ami l
yprobl emst owei ghme
downagai n.Ihavebeengoi ngt ot heinl awshouse,
Iam amakot iafteral
l.Liyema'suncl esseem t o
under standwhyMmawoul dnotwantt obehome
whenTat aisar ound.Theyhavegonebackhome
yester daybecauset hereisnot hingt heycandot o
freet heirbrother .
Afteraweekofwat chingmydearhusbandI
decidedt ogoont hetripwithhi m.For t
unat elyMma
saidherof f
erf orthet r
ipstillstandsshoul dwe
changeourmi nds.TosayLi yemawasexci ted
whenIt oldhim woul dbeanunder statement .The
boyswi l
lbewi ththei
rt wogr anni esfort heweekend.
Idon'tlikeitwhenbot hLi yemaandIar eawayf rom
them butt heywi l
lbei nsafehands, spoi li
nghands
butsaf e.Wehadt osaygoodbyet othem whenwe
droppedt hem of fatdaycar e.Mmawi llbet heone
tofetcht hem becauseshoul dt heyseeusl eave, we
willnevermakei ttotheai r
por tintime.Ipacked
theirclothesandour swhi leLi yemawasatwor k.He
willbehomesoont opi ckmeupandwewi llgot o
hisaunt 'stoleaveourcarsi nceitist heonl yone
thattakesf ourcarseat s.I'
mf eel
inggoodaboutt hi
s
tri
p.Liyemaar ri
vedwhenIf inishedabout
everythingbutIhadt hisfeelingthatI '
mf orgetti
ng
somet hing.Li yemapi ckedmeupandputmei nthe
carandourbags.Hewentt oputt heal arm onand
l
ockt hedoor s.Mypoorhubbyi ssoexci tedhecan' t
cont
ainhi
msel
fandImustadmiti
tmelt
smyhear
t.
Wedrovetohi
saunt
'si
nsil
encebuti
twasnot
awkward.

Liyema:"Sothepitchtothepot
enti
alcl
ientwent
verywelltoday.I
'
mf eeli
ngconfi
dentaboutthi
sone,
baby,"hesaidwithasmi l
e.

Lakhi
we:"
Youhaveworkedhardtomakeithappen,
baby.I
'mf
eel
ingconf
identabouti
ttoo,
"

Li
yema:" I
tsthefi
rstti
meyoucall
edme" baby"
si
nceI'vebeeninthedogbox.I
tfeel
sgoodtoheari
t
agai
n,"webot hsmiled.

Lakhi
we:"
I'
vecalmeddownsomewhat
.Doyou
thi
nkit
sagoodideatol
eaveMmawiththeki
ds
whensheisal
readygoi
ngthr
oughsomuch?"
Liyema:"Sheisactual
lyhandl
ingitbet
terthanI
expected.IguessTamadeherst opcaringwitht
he
affai
r,
"

Lakhiwe:"Yeahwhichi
sunder standable.Your
fat
herbeingwellknownandal loverthepaper si
s
notreal
lyhelpi
ngmuch.Doyout hi
nktheywi l
lgr
ant
him bai
linhisnextbai
lappl
icati
on? "

Liyema:"Idon'
tknow.Baby, pleaseletusnott al
k
aboutthi
sheavyt opi
c.Itisoneoft her easonswhy
youandIar eheretodayandIonl ywantt othi
nk
aboutitwhenwear eback.Iwantt obef ocusedon
youandhavi ngagreattimet ogetherthisweekend,
"

Iwasnotaboutt osayanyt
hingaboutt hatbecause
heisri
ght.Wespokeaboutever ythi
ngonourway
tohi
saunt '
splace.Heevenmanagedt omakeme
smil
eaf ewtimes.Iwastir
edofnotspeaki ngtohim
anyway.Varsi
tyisthesame.Iwi shSindiwasat
UCTwithme.Wear ri
vedathisaunt'
shouseandt he
fi
rstthingwesawwasacol ourfuljumpi
ngcast l
e.
LiyemaandIbot hputourhandsonourhead.They
willspoiltheboysandwewi l
lhavet odealwitht
he
consequences.Wegotoutt hecarandMmacame
runningt ohugus.Sheisglowing.Iwouldlookli
ke
ahobboshoul dLiyemagotojailformurder.Iwoul
d
notcopebutnotZol aEl
ephant.

Li
yema:"
Mma, pl
easetaket
hejumpingcastledown.
ComeMondaytheywil
lcryf
oritandIwillnotgo
hi
reonef
ornonsense,
"hesaidi
nast er
nvoi ce.

MrsE:"Thi
swillkeepthem busysot heywon'tt
hink
aboutyoutwo.Ihavethebestweekendpl anned.
Wewi l
lal
sogot othatdinosaur
st hi
ng.Ihavebeen
negl
ecti
ngmybabi esforfartoolong,"

Liyema:"Lala,
pleasetal
ktoyourmot herwhil
eIput
theirbagsinsi
de,"hewenttothecartotakethe
boysbagsoutandour ssincethecarwil
lstay.
MrsE:"Don'
teven,Lakhiwe.Iknowyouguyshave
hadtoscal
edownsot hatmeansmybabieshave
notbeenspoi
ledinal ongwhile,
"shesai
dandshe
act
uall
yhadapoi nt.

Lakhiwe:"
Ihearyou, Mma.Wewi lldealwithitwhen
wegetback.Iftheygiveustr
oubleandt hrowi ng
tant
rumsbecauset heywantallyoudidf orthem,
webr i
ngthem back,"shel
aughed.

Mr sE:" Iwouldlovetohaveli
feinthehouseagain,
sopl easebyal lmeansdobr i
ngthem back.I'
m so
gladyoudeci dedt ogoaway, mybaby.Ihavea
feeli
ngt hiswil
lbegoodf oryouboth,"shesai
dand
webot hlookedatLiyemawhokeptshaki nghis
headwheneverhepassedt hejumpingcastl
e.

Lakhi
we:"
Howareyou?Youdi
dnotevenpopi
n
whentheuncl
escametot
own,
"
Mr sE:"Theycametothei
rbr
other
,nottome.Ido
notwantt obeint
hathouse,
Khiwe.I
tissobig.I
j
ustcannot ,
mybaby.Ihopeyoudidnottel
lLi
yema
thatItest
edalongti
meago,"shel
ookedatme.

Lakhi
we:"
Didyouknowhewassl
eepi
ngwit
h
Zingi
sasi
nceyouwant
edtot
estt
hatsameday?
"

Mr sE:"Sexualdeceasewasnotjustcarri
edby
Zingisa,mybaby.Ifoundoutmyhubbycheat ed
andlikeanysensiblehuman,Itest
ed,"shesaid
whilelooki
ngatme.Shehadapoi nt."
Ithoughtit
washi ssecretar
y,notZi
ngi
sa,"

Lakhiwe:"
Butyousawthetext
sont hephone.How
couldyounotknowitwasherbecauseyou
mentionedthi
swomanwast hreat
ninghi
m,"

Mr
sE:"
Itwascommont
hreat
sli
ke"
youdonotdo
asIsay, It
elli
tall"Ididnotr eadallt
heothertext
s
thatwouldhavet oldmei twasZingibecauseIwas
afrai
dofbeingcaughtwi t
hthephone.Iconfronted
himf ort
heaf f
airIthoughthehadwi thhissecret
ary.
HadIf oundouti twasZi ngisathatday,hewould
nothavehadbal l
st odaybecauseIwoul dhavecut
them off
.Hei sluckyIonl yfoundoutwhenhewas
behindbarsandi npol iceprotect
ion,
"

Lakhi
we:"
Ohokay,
"shel
ookedatme.

Mr
sE:"
Soyoudonotbel
ieveme?
"

Lakhi
we:"Ido,Mmaandrel
axIhavenottol
d
Li
yemat hatyout
est
ed.Sower
eyourresult
sreal
ly
negat
ive?"

MrsE:"
Yes,nowDetecti
veElephantgoi
nsi
det
o
gr
eetMakazibef
oreyourtaxiar
ri
ves,
"
Lakhi
we:"I
'm st
andi
nginfrontofyouandI
'
m
weari
ngjeansandwithoutadoek"

MrsE:"Nonsense,gointhere.Hadyouar r
ivedwi t
h
agrannyskirtwhil
eonyourwayt oaget awaywi t
h
yourmanIwoul dhavehadabi gprobl
em.Her eisa
toweli
fyouar enotcomfort
ablewit
hMakazi seei
ng
youinjeans,wrapitar
oundyourwaist
,"shet ook
thetowelfr
om hershoulder
sandgavei ttome.

IfoundLiyemat alkingtohisauntaboutt hem

scali
ngdownonwhatt heywi l
ldofortheboys.
Makazilookedasunbot her
edashersi ster.They
l
ooksomuchal ike.Theyevenhavesi milarsoft
voices.Makaziador esme.I '
m bl
essedwi thgreatin
l
awsImustsay.Makazit oldmet otaketheugl y
toweloffsoshewoul dseewhatI '
m wear i
ngt o
makeLi yemadrool .Thesewomem ar eso
easygoing.Sheevenwhi st
ledwhenIt wirl
ed?I
l
aughedsomuchbecauseI 'm wear
ingahi ghwai st
jeanandacr optop, nobigdeal.Ourtaxifinal
ly
arrivedandwemadeourwayt ot heai rpor t
.Ihave
neverbeent oDur banbutIhaver eadgr eatthings
abouti t.Wear rivedaf teraf ewhour sandj ustthe
airfeltdiffer ent .Liyemahasbeenever ywher ein
Sout hAf ricaandt oaf ewcount riesover seast ooso
heknewKZNwel l
.Wehi redacarandmadeour
wayt othehot el.Hedi dnotevenneeddi recti
ons
becauseheknewi twell.Thehot elwasbeaut i
ful
andover lookst heocean.Iopenedt hedoort ot he
balconyandst eppedout sidet ot akeint hefreshai r.
Liyemahel dmywai starea.Iknowhewant st ohug
mef rom behi ndbuthei sst il
lunsur eifitissaf e.I
mi ssedhi m soIt ookhi shandsandwr appedhi s
armsar oundme.Heki ssedmyneck.It urnedmy
headt olookathi m andweshar edal ongki ss.I
coul dfeelhi smanhoodpr essagai nstmyback.We
havenotbeeni ntimat esincet hecour tcase.He
broket heki ssandhel dmecl osert ohi m.Webot h
j
ustl ookedatt hebl uesea.It hinkhei st aki
ng
thingssl owsi nceIdi scover edwhatIdi dincour t
.I
wasnotl yi ngt ohi m whenIsai dI '
m nothur tbyi t.I
turnedt of acehi m.
Lakhiwe:"Ihat
edeveryt
hingaboutthi
sweek,baby.I
hatedgoingtobedaloneespecial
ly,
"heki
ssedme.

Liyena:"Soarewesharingthebedt onight?"I
nodded." Iact
ual
lydidnothateallofthisweek.I '
ve
l
ear nedtoappreciat
eyoumor eafterwhatIdi dso
thisweekhascomewi thl
essonst oo.Ialsohat ed
notf al
li
ngasleepnextt
oyou.Thankyouf orthi
s,for
agreeingtocomeher eandI'm gl
adyoudi ditat
yourownt i
meandnotwhenMmaandIwant edit,
"
heki ssedmyf or
ehead.

Lakhi
we:"
Ndl
ovu,
"Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Li
yema:"
Lal
a,"hel
ookedatme.

Lakhi
we:"
Ifor
giveyou,
sthandwasam,
"
Li
yema:"
Thankyou,
baby.Il
oveyou,
"

Lakhi
we:"
Iloveyout
oo,
"

Weki ssedandIt hi
nkwehavebot hmi ssedeach
otheral ot
.Hepi ckedmeupandwal kedinside.I
haver eall
yf orgi
venhi m.WhatIhavel ear nedabout
mar r
iagesof ar,i
st heimpor tanceoff orgiveness.
I'
m noti nt histodi vorcesot herear ethingswebot h
willhavet of orgivef ortherestofourl ives.Hedi d
notmeant ohur tme.Iknowhadt hisnewswi thhis
fathernotcomeatt heexactsamet imeasmycour t
dat e,hewoul dhavebeent her e.Weal mostt oreour
clothesof f,thatishowmuchwecr avedone
anot her.Imi ssedt hef eelofhisski nonmi neso
much.Hewasgent l
e.Hi scaressesandki sseswer e
sof tandf il
ledwi thlove.Het ookacondom andput
i
ton.Het henki ssedmewhi lehewasbet weenmy
l
egs.Themomentwasper fectuntiltheai rwas
fi
lledwi ththesmel lofbeer ,badbr eathandt abacco.
Liyemaki ssedmyneckbutt hesmel lofBonga
wouldnotgoaway.It ensedupandhenot icedand
stopped.Helookedatmeandt earsjustcameout .I
l
ovehowat t
entivemyhusbandi s.Her ehewasi na
heatedmomentofpr omi si
ngsexaf t
erdaysofnot
doingityethecoul dtellbymybodyl anguaget hat
themoodhaschanged.Hegotof fmeandIt urned
onmysi det
of acetheot herway.Icur ledupand
j
ustcr i
ed.Hetookt hesheetandcover edmebef ore
holdi
ngme.Icr i
edsi l
ent l
yj ustt r
yingtof i
gur eout
whatjusthappened.Li yemadoesnotsmoke, he
doesnotdr i
nkandt heonl yt i
mehehasbadbr eath
i
swhenhewakesupi nt hemor ningyett hatwas
whathesmel ledlikeaf ewmi nutesago.It ur nedto
facehim andhemadesomespacebet weenus.I
didnotwantspacebet weenussoIcl osest hegap
byget t
ingcl
osert ohim.It oldhi m whyIhadt orui
n
aper f
ectmomentandapol ogi zed.

Liyema:"Don'
tapol
ogi
ze.I
'
m sor
ryf
orr
ushi
ng
things,
baby,
"
Lakhi
we:"
Thankyouf
orsmel
li
ngni
ce,
baby"he
l
aughedsoft
ly.

Li
yema:"
Wannagooutandexpl
oreDur
ban?
"

Lakhi
we:"FornowIjustwantt
obei
nyourar
ms.
Thatokay?,
"Il
ookedathim.

Li
yema:"
Ist
hatat
ri
ckquest
ion?
"

Mypoorhubbyhadt ogot othebat hroom f irstand

I'
m guessingtogethi smi ndoffanyt hingsexual so
hismanhoodwoul dgobacksof t.Ifeltsobad.He
camebackandhel dmeasIaskedhi mt oo.I
missedhi m.Ihopet hatthisBongat hingwon' t
affectoursexuall
if
e.Bot hofusevent ual l
yf el
l
asleep.Whenwewokeupt hesunhadst artedtoset
alr
eady.Wemustr eallyhavebeent i
red.Wedeci ded
togoonadat e.Wehadashowert oget herandi t
wassomet hi
ngImi ssedaswel l.Wecal l
edt heboys
andnei therwant edtotal
kont hephonebecause
theywer ehavi ngtoomuchf un.Wet hendeci ded
tomor r
owi sanot herday.Imadeal otofeffortfor
thi
sdat e,evenputonmakeup.Li yemal ookedhi s
hotusualsel f.Hesaidheknewexact l
ywher ehe
want stotakeme.Wegoti nt
othecaranddr oveoff.
Hewassi ngingf ormealltheway,somuchsot hat
hegotl ost.Wel oweredthemusi ct
oseebet ter
.I
don'tknowwhywedot hat.

Lakhi
we:"It
houghtyouknewt
heway,
baby"we
bothl
aughed.

Li
yema:"Howdoyouexpectyourmant o
consentr
atewhenyouarel
ookingsohot?Ihave
beenlooki
ngatthosel
egsi
nsteadoftheroad,
"I
l
aughed.

Wedr ovepassaratherdodgystreetf
il
ledwit
h
younggirl
sinrat
hersmallclothi
ngtharcover
ed
onlywhatneededtobecover edtonotbenaked.
Theysoonappr
oachedt
hecarandaonewasbymy
window.

Lady:"
Hey,looki
ngf orsomeoneext rat
ohavea
goodti
mewi t
htonight.Threeiscompanyaft
erall
,
"
shesaidinafli
rtyvoice.Liyemarol
ledt
hewindow
upbeforeIcouldsaynot hankyouandspedoff
.

Li
yema:"Whydidyoul
ookl
ikeyouwant
edt
osay
somet
hingtoher?
"

Lakhi
we:"
Iwant
edtosaynothankst
oheroffer,
"he
l
ookedatmebri
efl
yandbackontheroadagain.

Li
yema:"Shewasnotoff
eri
ngyoufood,
Lal
ashe
wasoff
eringher
sel
ftousforadamnthr
eesome,
"

Lakhi
we:"
Iknowthat
,MrElephantbutIt
houghti
t
wouldbepol
it
etosayno,
"
Li
yema:" Yourhumblenesssomet
imeswor
ksonmy
nerves.Idon'
tseehowyoucanevental
ktosuch
people.Theyaredi
sgusting,
"

Lakhiwr
:"AndyouandIar
eper
fect
,baby?
"Il
ooked
athim.

Liyema:"No,
butIdon'
tknowwhyt heysell
themselvest
osleezymeninst
eadofgoi ngt
o
schoolandmakingsomethi
ngoftheirl
ives,
"

Lakhi
we:"
Wel
lexcuseusfornothavi
ngbeen
spoonf
edbyr
ichparent
s,Mrrai
sedwithasi
lver
spoonint
hemouth,
"heexhal
edloudl
y.

Li
yema:" I
'
m notdoingthiswi t
hyou,Lalanot
becauseofsomepr ost
itutes.Iagr
eeIhadi teasy
butyoudidnot,yether
eyouar est
udyingtogeta
batt
erli
fe,
"
Lakhiwe:"Baby,doyoureal
izethatBonga
threat
enedmanyt imestopimpmeout ?Whati fone
ortwooft hosegir
lshaveaBongawhoi spimping
them todi
f f
erentmen?,
"hekeptqui et
."Iunder
st and
thatyougrewupwi thli
febeingblackandwhi tebut
someofushadgr eyareasinourlives,
"Isaidina
shakyvoice.

Li
yema:"
I'
m sorr
y.Ididnotmeantoupsetyou,baby?
Youar
eright
,Iwasshiel
dedfrom al
otofthi
ngs.I'
m
sor
ryf
orjudgi
ngasituati
onIdonotunderst
and,"

Lakhi
we:"
Notsol ongagoyoutoldmenott
o
hit
chhi
kebecausehumant r
affi
cki
ngi
sreal
.How
surear
ewet hosearenotvi
cti
msofsuch?"

Liyema:"Youarer i
ght.Iwasnott
hinki
ngofi
tli
ke
that.IguessIsti
llhavetoopenmyeyestoalotof
thingsbeforeIcondemn.Idonotevenhavearight
tocondemnpeoplewhenI'
m al
sorottenwit
hsi
n.
Thankyouforopeni
ngmyeyes.Ijusthat
eseei
ng
suchbeaut
ifull
adi
esdoi
ngsuch,"

Lakhiwe:"Iunderst
andandIhat eittoobutwegot
tounderstandthatnowomanwi l
lchooset osel
l
hersel
f,notli
kethat.Theymustbef orcedby
cir
cumst ances.Theyr eal
lyar
ebeaut if
ul.One
actual
lylookedabi tl
ikeyoursister,
"helookedat
me.

Liyema:"No, babyplease,
Ihearyouaboutt hem
nothavingachoi cebutno,nowyouar etaki
ngittoo
far.Honestl
yitsbett
eradeadsisterthanone
prosti
tut
ingherself
.Bitemyheadof fbutiti
sjust
howIf eel,
"

Lakhiwe:"Ir
espectyourfeel
ings.Justbecausewe
aremar r
ied,i
tdoesnotmeanwewi l
lagreeon
everythi
ng.Letst
alkaboutsomet hi
ngelse,"he
smiled.
Li
yema:"
Thankyou,
"Il
aughed.

Lakhi
we:"
SoIhaveanewf
avor
it
ecol
ornow,
"he
l
aughedsoft
ly.

Li
yema:"
OneweekinthedogboxandIalr
eadyhave
anewyou?Okayupdat
eyourhubbythensohe
won'
tcomeacrossasafoolwhenasked,
"

Lakhiwe:"
Iwil
lgi
vehubbysubtl
ehi
nts.i
t'
llbemor
e
funthatway,
"webothlaughed.

Li
yema:"Okaysowhendoest
hefunst
art
,"he
par
kedthecarandl
ookedatmewit
hasmi l
e.

Lakhi
we:"
Maybei
thasst
art
edalr
eady,
"Iwi
nkedat
hi
m.Hecheckedmefr
om headt
otoe,"
Liyema:"OkayIseesomer edhereandt
here?What
colouri
syourunder wear
?"heaskedinalowsexy
voicewhichmadet heareabet
weenmyl egsjustf
ell
war mer
.

Lakhiwe:"
I'
m notwearingany,
"hisj
awdropped.
"Pickupyourbottom l
ip,
MrElephant
.Youareabout
todroolal
loverthecarseat
,"Il
aughedsof
tl
yand
steppedoutofthecar.

Hecameoutt ooandheldmyhandwhi l
elaughing.
Hegrabbedmybum subt l
etytof eeli
fIwaswear ing
apanty.Hesqueezedmyasswhenher eali
zedI
wasnotlying.Mybodyachedf orhim somuch.We
wentintohaveal ovel
ydinner.Wel aughedand
danced.Thisdatewast r
ulybetterthanallwehave
had.Wet henwentt oakaraokebarbecauset he
ni
ghtwasst il
lyoung.Ihaveneverwentt oabar
wit
hLiyemaandImustsaywehadal otoffun.
Comingher eremindedusthatwemi ghtbemar ri
ed
andparentsoff
ourbutwear est
il
lver
yyoung.I
wasshockedwhenhest oodtoputhisnameonthe
l
ineup.Theycal
ledouthisnameandhesmi led,
ki
ssedmeandwentt othefront.

Liyema:"
Hi,ever
yone.I'
m LiyemaandIwoul dli
keto
singmyspeciall
adyasomet hi
ng.Sheissitti
ng
ri
ghtoverther
e",hepoint
edatmeandt helight
focusedonme.Peopl estar
tedtoclapandwhi stl
e.I
blushedunti
lmycheekswer eonf i
re."
I'
llbesinging
UngowamibySemi t
o.Lala,
Iloveyou,"

ThereIsati nthecrowdl ooki

ngatmyhandsome
mansi ngf orme,justforme, nooneelse.
Ungowamii soneofmyf avouri
tesandIloveSemi t
o
buthewasnomat chformyhubbyt onight
.I'
m sure
evenhadLi yemasangof fkeyIwoul dhavesaidthe
samet hing.Hewal kedcl osertomeandwhenhe
sang"WenaUngowami "overandoveragai nI
melted.Icriedbuttearsofj oy.Ift
hismani ssti
ll
tr
yingtomel tmyheartf orwhathappenedt hanhe
haswonmeover .Whenhef i
nishedheki ssedme
andof f
eredmeat issuefrom myownbag.The
crowdwant edhimt osi
ngt hetrackagainandhe
actuall
ydid.Wehadsuchagr eatnight.Wedr ove
backtot hehotelandIwant edhi mtomakel oveto
mesobadl ybutIwasaf r
aidIwoul dlethim down
again.Weki ssedbutinnocently.Hekeptt hings
safeandIappr eciateditbuti
twasnotwhatI
wanted.Theki ssbecamepassi onateandr ushed
whenIputmyhandsuphi sshirtandunbut tonedit.

Liyema:"Baby,don'
tfor
ceyour selftodot hi
s.Not
everycouplegetawayneedst ohavehotsexi nit
,"
heheldmyf aceinhishandswhi l
el ooki
ngatme."I
l
oveyou.Iwantyousobadl y,sobadl ybutnotwhen
youfeell
ikeyouar eobl
igatedtoj ustbecausewe
aremarri
edandonvacat i
on,"Ikissedhim.

Lakhi
we:"Not
hingeverf
eltf
orcedwi
thyou,
baby,
nothi
ng"Ismi
led."
Heki ssedmebutonceagai nhewassaf e.Iasked
thatwemakel oveundert hest ar
s.Idon' tknowwhy
Ialwayswant edt hat.Hecar ri
edmeoutt othe
balcony.Theai rwascoolandwhenournaked
upperbodi est ouchedwebot hgotgoosebumps.He
gentlylaidmeont hepatiocoucht hatwasont he
balcony.Wehadpr i
vacyfrom ournei ghborsbutt he
moonandst ar scoul dseeever yt
hing.Het ooka
condom f rom hi spantsthatlaidont hefloorwhi le
sti
llkeepi ngthepr ocessinnocent.Ilovehi m so
much.Hel oved, kissed,caressedmybodyandI
showedhi sthesameamountofl oveandcr aving.
Heputt hecondom onandaskedmeonemor etime
i
fI'm sur e.Ismi l
edandnodded.Heki ssedmeandI
tookint hedel iciousscentofhi sCologne.Il etmy
smel lsensesgetl ostinhi sscentandt hatoft he
oceanandIenj oyedeachandever ysecondof
beingonewi thhi m.Wesatouti ntheopenni ght
after
war dsj usthol dingeachot her.

Li
yema:"
Youokay?
"Il
ookedupt
ofacehi
m.
Lakhi
we:"Ineverwantsomet
hingtohappent
hat
wil
lcausesuchar i
ftbet
weenus,Ndl
ovu,"

Li
yema:"
Neveragai
n,baby.Ar
eyousur
eyouar
e
okay?
"

Lakhiwe:"
Areyouaskingaboutwhathappened
earl
ier
?"Henodded."Ijusthadat
err
ibl
eflashback,
baby.Iwil
lspeakt
oMr sB, "

Li
yema:"Butyouwi
llspeakt
omet
oo,
right
?"I
smil
ed.

Lakhi
we:"
Ofcour
seyouar
emybestf
ri
endaf
teral
l,
"

Li
yema:"St
il
lnoluckmakingfr
iendsoncampus,
"I
shookmyhead."Baby,maybeyouhavenot
connect
edwithanybecausenonwouldmakegood
fr
iendst
oyou.Iknowhavingfr
iendsisabi
gdealt
o
you,evenifIdonotunderstandwhybecauseI'
m
notaf anoffr
iendsbutyouneedt obepati
entand
waitfortheri
ghtones.Ift
hosegirl
swhocameat
mear einyourclassthenI'
m gladyouar
enot
fr
iendswi t
hthem,"Il
aughed.

Lakhi
we:"Soyoudonotwantmet
obeasl
ay
Queen?"

Li
yema:"
Hel
lno,
"hesai
dser
iousl
yandIl
aughed.

Lakhi
we:"I
'm gl
adwecameeveni fitmeansour
ki
dsdon'twanttotal
ktousbecausetheyare
havi
ngtoomuchf un,
"helaughedsoft
ly.

Liyema:"
Nextweekwil
lbehel
lforus.Theywi
ll
throwendl
esstant
rums,"

Lakhi
we:"
Thosear
enextweek'
swor
ri
es.Ri
ghtnow
Iwantt
ofocusonus?Baby,
tomor
rowIwantt
ogo
shar
kdivi
ngplease.

Li
yema:"Youar
eaf
rai
dofshar
ksandqui
te
fr
ankl
y,
soam I"

Lakhi
we:"Thati
sexact
lywhyIwanttodoit
becauseIfeart
hem.Iwantustohaveal
otoff
un.
Weneverhadahoneymoon, "

Hel i
stenedwhileIl ist
edal lthet hingsthatIwantto
dobutgoti nter
rupt edbyer otickissesonmy
breasts.Ohwel ll
istscanwai tuntilwearedone.I '
m
notsur ewhatearlieronwasabout .I'
m notsur e
whyt heroom smel ledlikeBongabuti tdidnot
happenagai n.Ihat ebeingt hiswomanwhokeeps
onhavi ngtoseeat herapistbecauseofbl oody
Bonga.Idonotwantt racesofhi mi nmyl if
e,
especiall
ynotmi neandLi yema' ssexl if
e.Ilove
beingwi t
hmyhusbandi nanyway, shapeorf orm.
Evenwhenwear ej ustholdi nghandsIl oveit.I
askedhimt osingt omeagai n.Ili
stenedt ohim
whilehesangsof t
ly.Il ovehi svoice.Iloveditthe
fir
stdayIheardi tbef oreIevenknewwhohewas.
Isn'
titamazinghowl ifewor ks?Thef ir
stt i
meIsaw
him wewentonwi t
hourl i
vesnotknowi ngwe
wouldbemar r
iedandhavechi l
dren.Iwonderhow
manypeopl ehavemett heirsoulmat eorwal ked
pastthem atthemal lnotevenknowi ngt heywill
meetagain?Li f
ei sful lofmyst er
iesbutsomet i
mes
verybeauti
fulonest hatt urnoutbemi racles.
[
03/
28,
17:
21]Lynne:FI
FTY

Mr
sE

Ithasbeenadi ffi
cultpastfewdays.Theonl ything
thatbri
ngsmej oylatetl
yismygr andbabies.So
muchsot hatIhaveof fer
edtopickthem upat
daycaresinceLiyemagoest othatbusinesscl asses
afterworkandKhi wei satthel
ibrarystudyingunt i
l
l
ate.WhenIcomehomewi t
htheboys, Ifi
rstplay
withthem.Theyl ovet henewover si
zedbal lIgot
them.Ij ustwi sht heycoul dst opt hrowingitineach
other sf aces.Theypl ayr oughandIdonot
rememberLi yemaeverbei ngliket hat
.Theymust
havegot tenLungi '
snaught yst reak.OnceIgi ve
them asnackandhavet hem set tl
einf r
ontoft he
TVwat chi ngcar toon, Ist ar ttocookdi nnerformy
children.Thel astt hingKhi wewi l
lbeint hemood
foraf teral ongdayatschoooli scooki ngandIdo
notwantt hem eat ingtt akeaways.Theyhave
offeredt hatIst aywi tht hem f oraf ewdaysbutIdo
notwantt obei nt hewayofacoupl ewhohasnot
evenbeenmar r
iedayear .Thet ri
pt oDurbandi dmy
childrengood.Iseet hosest olenki ssestheygi ve
eachot herwhent heyt hi nknoonei slooki
ngandi t
war msmyhear t.Iact ual lymi ssMl utoo.Youcan
notbemar r
iedf orovert hi rtyyear sandnotmi ssthe
personyouhavespental mostal lyourlif
ewi t
hno
mat terwhatt heydi d.Hehasbeenr ef
usingvisits
from usandI '
m notsur ewhatt omakeoft hat.A
partofmef ear sthathehasf i
gur edoutt hatIam
behi ndhi sar restandi spl anningt omakemepay.
Todayi shi shear i
ngandhehasappl iedf orbail
onceagai n.Idonotwanthi m outonbai lbecause
hewi lluset hef reedom t ogett ot hebot tom ofthis.
Hehasneverl ai
dahandonmebutIknowhewi l
l
kil
lmeshoul dheknowwhatIdi d.Isatbet ween
bot hmysonsi ncour twai t
ingf ort hem t obegi n.I
am l uckyt ohavet heset wost rongmennextt ome
asmysonsbutI '
m sur eshoul dt het ruthevercome
out ,theywi l
lhat eme.Il ookedatLungi lewhowas
l
ooki ngatayoungf emal elawyer .Mywi shi sthat
hecoul df indawomanandset tl
edown.Hi s
relationshi pwi ththatgi r
lisfil
ledwi thmor edowns
thanupsandIsuspecti tisbecausehehasa
weaknessf orbeaut if
ulgi rl
s.Il ookedatLi yemawho
seemedt obedeepi nt hought.Hef oundmest arri
ng
andsmi ledatme.If orsomer easonnol onger
wor rymysel fmuchabouthi m sincehegotmar ri
ed.
Itisnosecr etthathei swel ltakencar eofathome.
Yes, theyhavet heirfairshar eoft roubl esbuthei s
happywi thhi swi f
e.Ir aisedmyhandst oki ssboth
theirhands.Lungi leki ssedmeonmycheekwhi l
e
Liyemabr ushedmyhandwi thhi st humbgent l
y.I'
ve
doneal otofwr ongbutr aisingt hem wasmybest
achievamentyet .Apar tofmei sgladLuloisnot
heretoseeherf atherincour tandi nhandcuff
s.I
t
wouldhavebr okenmybabysomuchbecauseshe
worshippedt hegr oundMl uwalkedon.Themoodi n
courtsuddenl ychangedwhenDudunashegot
call
edtot hefront.Theywhi sper
edsomet hinginhi
s
hear,clearlynooneel sewassupposet ohear.He
l
ookedatmeandIknewsomet hingwaswr ong.My
heartstartedtobeatf astbecauseIf ear
edthey
fi
rguredeveyt hi
ngout .Whyel sewoul dhelookat
mel i
ket hat?Hewal kedt owardsusandt hemor e
thespacebet weenusgotsmal l
er ,
themore
nervousIgot .Ijumpedupbef oreheevengott ous.

Zol
a:“
Whati
sgoi
ngon?
,”Il
ookedathi
m.

Dudumashe:“
Somet
hinghashappened,
”hesai
d
qui
etl
y.

Lungi
:“Pl
easedon'tt
ellmemyf at
hergothurtwhi
le
i
njail
.Ihavehear
dstoriesaboutt
heplace,
”hesai
d.
Icouldhearthefeari
nhisvoi
ce.Li
yemaj
ustkept
si
lentandlookedatDududmashe.

Dudumashe:“
Elephantescaped,
”hesai
dina
whipser
.

Apr i
sonescapewast helastthingIexpect
edto
hear.EvenLungi '
sassumpt i
onofhi m bei
nghurton
theinsi
deseemedmor er
ealistcthananescape.We
askedDudumashewhatwoul dhappennowandhe
saidthatthereisamanhuntf orMl u.Sayi
ngevery
l
awof fici
alintownislookingforhim andnostone
wil
lbel ef
tunturned.

Li
yema:“Heseemst omakestupidchoicesona
dai
lybai
slat
ely.Heisawellknownperson,howthe
hel
ldoeshethinkhewil
lgounnoticed?
”

Dudumashe:“
Woul
dyouhaver
atherher
oti
njai
l
?”
Zol
a:“
Soyouknewaboutt
his?
”Iaskedsof
tl
y.

Dudumashe:“Justpr
ayhegetst
ohisplanned
dest
inat
ionbecausei
fnot
,theywi
llf
indhim andhe
wil
lroti
njai
l.

Lungi
:“Whatki
ndofpeopl
ear
eyou?
”

Dudumashe:“ Thekindt hathaveputal otofpeopl e

i
nj ai
l.Hewoul dneverhavesur vi
vedi nt heref or
l
ong.Getofyourhi ghhor seandbet hankf ulthat
yourfatheri
sf r
ee.IfthereisonethingIcan
guaranteeyou,isthatyourfatherdi
dnotki l
lthat
woman.Hei smany, manyt hingsbutaki l
lerwas
neveroneoft hem.Pleaseexcuseme, Ineedt ogo
givecommentt ot
hepr essorwi l
lyougodoi t? ”

Hegaveusallonel
ookbeforeheadi
ngout.Liyema
andLungi
ledi
dnotlookshockedatal
l.Iguessthey
expect
edanyt
hingf
rom t
heirfat
heraf
terhegot
arrest edformur der.Iont heot herhandam
shockedt ot hecor e.Hewi l
lhidewhi ledi ggingf or
thet ruthandi fther eisonet hingMl ui sgoodat , i
tis
fi
ndi ngoutt het ruth.Thati soneoft her easonswhy
hewassuccesf ul.Myboysl eadmeoutoft he
cour troom.Thej our nalistswhower et her etogetan
updat eofthecasewentcr azywi thquest ionswhen
theysawus.Theywer etakingpi cturesandst i
cking
phonesandmi crophonesi nourf aces.Wemanged
togett othecarevent ually.Iaskedt hem t odr opme
offatt hehouse.Iguessapar tofmehopedt of i
nd
himt here.Whenwear r
ivedt hepl acewasf il
ledwi th
policeandsear chdogs.Wegavet hem spacet o
sear cht heplacebutt herewasnosi gnofMl u.Di d
theyr eallythinkhewoul dbreakoutofj ailtocome
tothehouse?Wegotaskedaf ewquest i
onsandI '
m
gladDudumashekeptMl u'sdest inationt ohi mself
becausewecoul dt ellthepol iceweknownot hing
andmeani t.

Lungi:“
Doyouthi
nkhewil
lmakeitt
owher
ever
safel
y?”hel
ookedathi
sol
derbr
other.
Liyema:“Maybehi m notwant i
ngt oseeuswashi m
planninghisescapewi thoutbeingi nterr
upted.I
don'tknowi fhewillmakei ttheresafely,bro.Idon'
t
knowwhati shappeningi nthisfami l
yanymor e.I
'm
justgladithappenedwhenwear egrownbecauseI
don'tthi
nkwewoul dhavehandl editifwewer est
il
l
youngandi nschool.Letmet ryt ocallLala.Idon'
t
wanthert oseemeont heseonl i
nenewspaper
pagesandr eadaboutwhathappenedont he
papers,”

Zola:“
Goodidea,Ndoda,
”Isai
dandLiyemawentto
cal
lhiswif
e.Iwil
lgoliedownforawhil
e.Ihavea
headache,
”Isai
dt oLungi
.

Lungi
:“Iwi
llmakeyousomecamomiletea.You
al
wayssaiditcal
msyoudown,”hesmil
ed.

Zol
a:“
Thankyou,
myboy,
”
Lungi
:“Whenwi l
lIbecal
led“
ndoda”f
oronce?
,”he
askedandlaughed.

Zol
a:“
Bri
ngmemoregrandbabi
es.Pr
efer
abl
y
gi
rl
s,
”Ist
oodandhel
aughed.

Iwalkedupt hest air

sandi twasadaunt i
ngt hingto
do.Mysi ster'splacehasnost airs, notasi ngleone
andIlovei t.Igott oourbedroom andi talwayshad
bothourscent sinitbutitsmel l
edf resht oday,
almostlikef r
eshlyi r
onedlinen.I'm gr at efultoour
helpforcomi ngi nandkeepi ngt hepl acespot l
ess.I
wenttol i
eont hebedf orawhi lewai t
ingf orthe
headachet ogoawaybuti tdidnot .Lungicamewi t
h
theteaandsomeaspen.Li yemar et urnedsayi ng
Khiwewi llcomeher estr
aightfrom var sit
y.Myboys
wenttot heki t
chent opreparesomef oodf orusf or
whenIwakeup.If i
nall
yclosedmyeyesandgot
wokenupbyast rangedream wher eMl uwas
str
aglingme.Ihadt oremindmysel fthathei sgone.
Iwenttot hecuboardthathadal louroldst
uf f
.From
thechil
drensbabycl ot
hest ooldphotos.Ijust
wantedt oremindmysel fofthehappyt i
mes.It ook
outallthephotosandthr ewthem ont hebedand
thealbums.Wet ookal otofpictures,
great
memor ieswer emadeindeed.Liyemacamei n
holdi
ngat r
eywithfoosandaf r
eshf l
oweroni tand
Lungijustthrewhimselfonthebed.

Zola:“
Can'tyouseethepi
ctur
esont hatbed,
Lungil
eElephant
?,”t
heybothalughed.

Li
yema:“
Asi fhecar
es.Whosechi
ldar
eyou?”he
l
aughedandlookedathi
sbrot
herandLungi
l
aughedtoo.

Lungi
:“Caref
ull
,I'
mt heuncleofyourboys.You
mighthaveami niLungithereandIsuspect
Bandil
e,
”theylaughedloudly.
Liyema:“Heavanf or
bid.Myboysareassweetas
theirmot
her,”bothLungiandIlookedathi
m.“Okay
ongooddayst heyaresweetl
ikethei
rmother
,”we
alll
aughed.

Zola:“
Imissthem al
ready.Icannotwai
tunt
il
schoolisout
,”

Lungi
:“Iwantt
obegonebythen.Idon'
tknowhow
youandsisLakhi
wemanagetostaywiththose
monstersf
ullt
ime,
”

Liyema:“Wemadethem sowegott
otakecar
eof
them andtheyar
eajoy,
”

Zol
a:“
Areyouguysdonehavi
ngchi
ldr
en?
”

Liyema:“I
'
m notgoi
ngt
omakemywifef
eell
ikea
fail
uref
ornotbei
ngabl
etocar
rymor
echi
ldr
en,
Mma.Al
lIwanti
sforhert
ogetherdegr
eer
ight
now,
”

Lungi
:“Dude,
justgett
hehel
pofasur
rogat
eonce
agai
n,”

Liyema:”Hellno.afterwhatLalaandIwentthrough.
Itisonlybygr acethatwear ewherewearetoday.
Thingscouldhavebeensodi f
fer
ent.I
'
m content.
Wemi ghtadoptababygi rlshoul
dwewantanot her
.
Plentyofbabi eswhoar einneedofhomes.Mma
hereisyourf ood.Thisonewentgetyouaf l
ower
too,”

Zola:“Thankyouboth.Lungigetofmyphotos
please,”hestoodandandLiyemaputthetr
eydwon
tolookatt hem.

Welookedatt
heol
dpict
uresandwelaughedaswe
t
houghtbackont
hedayswhentheyweretaken.I
t
alwaysf eelsgoodt otalkaboutLulonkewi thout
crying.Liyemawast heonewhot ookherdeat hthe
hardest.Hel ovesLungi l
ebutIknowt helovehehad
forhissisterranal i
ttl
edeeper.Ther ewasaknock
ont hedoor .Lakhiweappearedl ookingwor ri
edbut
smi l
edwhensheact uall
yreal
izedt hatwewer e
l
aughi ngundert hecircumstances.Lungiler anf
irst
tohughert opressLiyema'sjealousybut t
onsbut
Liyemawasnotf azed.Itpr
ovedj usthowsecur ehe
feelsinthismar ri
age.Hewentt ohi swifeand
huggedher .

Khi
we:"IcameassoonasIcoul
d.Howar
eyoual
l
doi
ng?"

Li
yema:"
Wearegood,Lal
a?Ihopeyoudi
dnotski
p
cl
assest
ocomehere,
"

Lungi
:"Iusedt
oski
pal
otofcl
asses.I
tsnobi
gdeal
.
Li
yema:"
Andyouf
ail
ed,
"theyl
ookedateachot
her
.

Zola:"
Wearegood,mybaby.Havi
ngthesetwoher
e
feel
sgood.I
'
m happytoseeyoutoo,
"Iki
ssedher
cheek.

Li
yema:"Checkhowcuteyourhubbywas,
Lal
a"he
showedherapict
ureofhi
m asababyandshe
smil
ed.

Khi
we:"Youhadabi
gheadthough,
baby"Lungi
le
l
aughedli
kehewasbei
ngpaidtodoit
.

Lungi
:"Highfi
ve,
sis"t
heyr
aisedt
hei
rhandsand
di
dahi ghfi
ve.

Li
yema:"I
'm notgoi
ngtocuddl
ewi
thyoul
ateron,
"
hepr
etendedtosulk.
Lungi
:"I
'
llbuymysisteramansi zedt
eddybearand
adil
dojustincase,
"theyl
aughed.

Li
yema:"
Mmat al
ktoyoursonbef
oreIst
ickmyf
oot
i
nhismouth,
"

Khiwe:"
Idonotneedanyofthose,
baby,
"she
wrappedherar
msar oundhi
m.

Zol
a:"
Haveyoueat
en,mybaby?
"Il
ookedher.She
i
salwayshungr
ywhenshecomesf
rom var
sit
y.

Khiwe:"
Liyemahaskeptapl
atef
orme,Mmat hank
you.I
'm st
arvi
ng.Letmegowarmitupqui
ckl
y,"

Li
yema:"
Needcompany?
"hesmi
ledather
.

Lungi
:"Thati
scodef
ornaught
ythi
ngsbutgoon,
"
Li
yemashowedhi
mthemi
ddl
efi
nger
.

Themar ri
edcoupl emadet heirwayoutofmyr oom.
IcouldhearKhi wegi ggl
eandIknewt heywer e
doingthenaught yt hingsLungit al
kedabout .Il
ove
thatLakhiwei scomf ort
ableinmyhouse.Lungi
l
ookedt hr
ought heot herpicturesunt
ilthemar r
ied
coupler et
urned.Lakhi wekeptf eedi
ngLi yema
beforeput ti
ngaspoonf uli
nherownmout h.Ihope
theirmar r
iagelasts.Ihopet heygrowol dtogether
anddi einpeaceataver yri
peagesur roundedby
theirgreatgrandchildren.Lungitookapi ctur
eand
turneditaroundl ookingconf used.

Lungi
:"Checkt
hisone,
TaLee,i
tsoneofLul
u,"he
sai
dandgaveLiyemaapict
ure.Hecal
ledLul
oLulu.

Liyema:"Neverseent
hisonebef
ore,
"helookedat
meandshowedi ttome.Myheartf
eltl
ikei
twould
escapemychestt hewayitwasbeati
ngfast
.I
suddenlyfel
thot.
Zola:"Givemethat!
"Isaidwithoutt
hinki
ngand
wantedt otaket
hepictur
ef r
om him butheheldi
t
highertochecktheback."Li
yemadammi tgi
veme
thepicturenow!
"Ishoutedandhel dmyshaking
handupf ort
hepict
ure.

Khiwe:"
Baby,gi
veitpl
ease,
"shepleadedwit
hher
husband.Li
yemaloweredhishandandgaveitt
o
me.Myhandswer eshakinguncontr
oll
abl
y.

Lungi
:"Mma,wehavebeenlookingatpi
ctur
esof
Lul
usincewesawtheseoldpict
uresandlaughed.
Whyreactl
iket
hatt
othatpict
ure?"Idi
dnotanswer
hi
m.

Liyema:"Iwasjustcheckingthedat esi
nceIknow
youwr it
edatesbehindthepictures.Thatonei
s
wr ong.Thatwastwoyearsbef oreLuloandIwere
bor n,
"hesaidsof
tl
y."I
'm sorr
y, Mma.Ididnotmean
toupsetyou.I
'vej
ustneverseenthatpi
ctur
eof
Lul
osoIwant edtohaveagoodl ookather,
"he
added.

Zol
a:"
Leavemeal
onepl
ease,
"Isai
dqui
etl
y.

Lungi
:"Mma,whatj
usthappened.Wewerel
ooki
ng
atababypi
ctur
eofLuluandnowt hi
s?"

Khi
we:"Letusdoassheasksandl eaveher
,"she
sai
dwhilelookingatherhusband.Il
ovehowshei s.
Shedoesnotf orcematt
ers.

Li
yema:"
Wecan'
tjustl
eaveherl
ik.
..
"

Khi
we:"
Ndl
ovu,
please,
"shepl
eaded.

Li
yemal
ookedathi
swi
fef
orawhi
leandagr
eedt
o
l
eavi ngmyr oom.Lungif oll
owedbehi nd.Iwentt o
closet hedoorwhent heyhadal lleftandl ookedat
thepi cturethatwasnowj ustabal lofr oll
edup
paper .Iunf oldedthepictureandt riedt ost raighten
i
twi thmyhand.I nitwasapi ctureofLul onke
wear inghercut eli
ttl
epinkdr ess.At earf ellont he
picture.Idon' tknowwhathappenedbutIl ostit.I
l
ostmysani tyandstartedtot hrowt hingst hatwer e
i
nmyr oom l ikeamadwoman.Ist artedwi ththe
sidel ampsandbr okeitbythr owingi tagai nstthe
wall.Itookoutmostdr awer sandt hrewi tont he
fl
oor .Theki dsst oodbyt hedoorshout i
ngmyname.
Ididnotcar eandwentondest royingmyr oom
whilet heywat ched.I'
m gladt heydi dnotcomei n
becauseImi ghthavehur tthem.Li yemat ookhi s
chancesbutl uckil
yIhadapi ll
owi nmyhandand
notabr ick.Iwascr yingandscr eami ng.Myboy
heldmesot i
ghtlytotryandcal m medown.Isank
tothef loorandhewentdownwi t
hmegent lywhi l
e
holdingme.

Li
yema:"
I'
m sor
ryt
hatshei
snother
ewi
thus,
Mma.
I'
m sosor ry,
"hesaidsof
tl
y.Icriedsof
tlysof
tl
y
whil
est il
linhisar
ms."I'
m sorr
y,"headdedagain
soft
ly.Iknowhewasapol ogi
zingfort
heaccident
.
Anacci denthehadnowayofpr event
ing.

Khi
we:"Baby,
pleaseputheronthebed,"shesai
d.
Li
yemastoodandpickedmeupl ikeIhadnoweight
.
Helai
dmeont hebedgentlyandallt
hreeofthem
l
ookedatme.

Lungi
:"Ibl
ameTaforal
loft
his.Wewouldst
il
lbe
goodhadhenotgoneandscrewedup,
"

Zol
a:"
Lakhi
we,pleasesi
tnexttome, mybaby,
"she
di
dasIasked."
Yout wopleaseexcuseus,
"Il
ooked
atmyboys.

Lungi
:"But
,Mma. .
.,
"Li
yemastoppedhim and
poi
ntedtothedoor.It
hinkheknowsI'
llbesafewit
h
hi
swi f
e.Therei
ssomet hi
ngaboutLakhiwethat
makespeopl ewanttoopenupt oher,well
atleast
tomeshehast hateff
ect.Ireali
zedwhenshewas
sti
llgoi
ngt obeasurrogatef orLiyemathatI
openedupt oherbetter
.Theboyscl osedthedoor
behindthem.Khiwelaidonherbackf acingthe
cei
lingl
ikeIam.It ur
nedt olookatherandshe
tur
nedtof aceme.Wehel dhandsandshebr ushed
myhandgent l
y.

Khi
we:"Iunderstand,Mma.HadLiyemabeenin
Tat
a'sshoesandoneoft heboysdied,Iwoul
dhave
l
ostitt
oo.Infactyouhavebeenstrongfort
oolong.
I
tsokaytonotbest rongoncei
nawhi l
e,"

Zola:"Youdonotunder st
and,Khi
we.I'
vedoneso
manybadt hi
ngs.I'
m surether
eisaseati
nhell
reservedforme,"Il
aughedsoftl
y.

Khi
we:"
Don'
tsayt
hat
,Mmapl
ease,
"shebr
ushed
myarm.
Zola:"
Itest
edposit
ive.Il
ied,
"Ibr
okedownonce
againcryi
ng.Shehuggedmewhi l
ecryi
ng.

Khiwe:"Iknowi tmustbeterr
if
yingbutitisnott he
endoft hewor l
d,Mma.Lookathowheal thyLiyema
i
s.Het akeshi str
eat
mentandeat swell.Please,just
goseeadoct orsoyoucanf i
ndawayf or ward.I
won'ttellLi
yema.Hewi l
lhearitfr
om youwhenyou
areready.Wel oveyousomuch"

Zola:"Y.
..
y..
.youdonotunder
stand,mybaby.I
deserveital
l.Ideser
veal
lofi
t.I'
m notagood
personatall,
"

Khiwe:"Comeli
vewi
thus.Iwasnotaski
ng.Wecan
notleaveyouher
eal
one.Iknowseei
ngtheboys
wil
lmakeyouhappy,
"

Zol
a:"
No,
"Isai
dwhi
leshaki
ngmyhead.
Khi
we:"Yes.Youwil
lfeel
bett
ert
omor
row.Classes
endear
lyandwecangoseeyourdoctort
ogether
bef
oreLiyemaget
shome, "

Zol
a:"
Youdonotunder
stand,
mybaby,
"

Khi
we:"
Thenmakemepl
ease,
"shesai
dsof
tl
y.

Zol
a:"
It
saboutLul
onke,
"

Khiwe:"
MmaIknowyoumi ssherbutyouhaveto
fi
ndawaytohealoryouwil
lmakeyoursel
fsick.
Shehaspassedonandther
eisnothi
ngwecando, "

Zola:"
Shei
snotdead,Khiwe.Shei
snotdead.I
'
m
suchanevilper
son,
"Isai
d.Shecoul
dnothidet
he
l
ookofshockonherface.Icurl
edupandcri
edmy
eyesoutwhil
eshaki
ng.Mynoseevenstar
tedto
bleed.Shewant edtotoucht
hebloodbutIhadto
remindhert hatshehadnogloveson.Sherant
o
thebathroom togetatowelandIti
tl
edmyhead
backt ostopthebleedi
ng.

Khiwe:" I
'm conf used, Mma.Li yemar emember s
seeingherdead.Hesai dt hewayshegotcutoutof
thatcari ndicatedhowmuchi tcrushedher .Af t
er
thenosebl eedst ops.Youwi llgetintoani cewar m
bath.Youwi l
lsoakyour sel fandr elax.Af t
ert hatwe
aret aki
ngyouhome.I nf actyoucanhavet harbat h
atourhouse.It hinkbei ngher ewi thal lthese
picturesofLul ooutandwhatTat adid, yourmi ndis
conf usedandmakesyousayt hingst hatar enot
true.Mr sBhasanf ancypsychol ogicalnamef or
whatyouar egoi ngt hrough, "shesai dbuti t
soundedl i
keshewast ryingt oconvi ncebot hofus.
Thebl eedingst oppedandIwentt osoakt het owel
i
nhotwat er.Thel astt hingIwanti sf orsomeonet o
touchmyf i
lthybl ood.Khi wewasput ti
ngt he
picturesbackwher et heybel ong.
Zol
a:"I
'
m notgoingcrazy,
Lakhiwe.Lul
onkei
sal
ive
orsoIhopebecausethelastt
imeIsawhershe
wasali
ve,
"shelookedatmeasi fIhavegone
i
nsane.

Khi
we:"
Buthow?
"

Zol
a:"BecauseIhadt wodaughter
sbothnamed
Lul
onke.TheoneIl astsawasababyandt heother
whohasdi ed.Borntwoyearsapart
.Lul
onkeisali
ve,
butnottheoneyouwer etol
dabout.Ihadanother
Lul
onkebef or
eLiyema'stwi
n,"

Lakhiwesanki ntothebedl ookingasdef eat

edasI
feel
.Itf
eltgoodt otellsomeoneel se.Iwasdat i
ng
Mlubacki nthedayandwef ellpr
egnant .Hemade
i
tclearthathewasnotr eadyforachi ldandIhad
nomeanst oraiseoneal one.Bet weent hestruggle
andmar ri
age,Ihadnot i
met obuildacar eer.Whi l
e
other
smadeduewi tht hepooreducat ionthe
apart
heidsystem of f
eredt hem.Iwasunder gr ound
maki ngpet r
olbombsandar rangingsecr et
meet ingsbet weencomr adef orabet terf utur efor
blackSout hAf ricans,youthespeci ally.Imett he
young, char mi ngMl ungisiElephantandIchanged
myl i
feforhi m.Ihadt ostopbei ngt her ough,
tomboymeIwast ofiti
nt ohi slif
e.Ihadt obur ymy
waysasacomr adeandwor konmaki nghi m see
measapot ent i
alwi f
e.Hedoesnotknowmypast .
Allhet hinksi sIwast oopoort oaff ordschool .
WhenIgotpr egnanthewasst il
lbui ldinghi sempi re,
onehewasnotevensur ehewant edmei ni t.Hi s
fi
rstsol utionwasanabor ti
on.Heevengavemet he
moneyf ori tbutIdeci dedagai nsti t.Itseasyt of ool
menaboutt hi
ngsconcer ni
ngwomenespeci ally
whenwehadnosoci almedi a.Il i
edandt oldhi m
thatIwi llhavet ost ayatmyf ami l
yhomef or
cleansingcer emoni esaftertheabor t
ion.He
believedmeandgavemeext ramoney, thatwas
howmuchhewant edt ogetr idofourchi ld.Ii ndeed
wenthomet omygr andmot herandst ayedunt i
lI
gavebi rthandl eftthebabywi thheraf t
eraf ew
weekst ogetMl ut oputar ingoni t
.Mypl anwasf or
himt of inall
ymar rymeandt henIgohome, getour
chil
dandbr i
nghert ohi m.Wewoul dbemar ri
edsoI
thoughthewoul dnotbeangr yatmef ornothavi ng
hadt heabor t
ion.Hef inallyputar i
ngoni tandI
askedt ogoseemtsi ckgr andmot her.My
grandmot herwasnotsi ck,Ij
ustwant edt ogoget
mychi ld, ourchild.WhenIar r i
vedatmy
grandmot her'
spl ace, shet oldmet hatmyuncl eand
hiswi fet ookmychi ldsi ncet heycoul dpr ovidef or
her.Ihadnopr oblem wi ththatal lIwant edwasf or
hertot ellmewher emyuncl eandhi swi fetookmy
babysoIwoul dgogether .Mygr andmot herdidnot
know, shedi ednotknowi ngandt ot hisday, Isti
lldo
notknowwher eshei s.Ihavehi redpr ivate
i
nvest igat orstolookf orLul onkeNgal o,sincet hat
washernameandt hatwasmyuncl e'ssur namebut
theyfoundnot hi
ng.Theonl yt hingmygr andmot her
couldgi vemewast heonl ypict ureshehadt aken
aboutLul onke.Inevert oldMl uoutoff earofhi s
reacti
onandal sot hef earofl osi ngmymar r
iage.
WhenIwoul dwat chhi m wi tht heLul onkeheknew, I
woul dcr ybecausehel ovedher .Icoul dn't
under st andwhyheaskedmet oabor tourf i
rstchild.
Het hinkst hatIhadt heabor ti
onwher everhei s.I
thi
nkt hatwasal sother easonwhyi twassoeasyt o
watchhi m godownf orsomet hinghedi dnot
commi t.Hadheneveraskedmet oabortourchi l
d,I
woul dneverhavehadt ogi vebir
thtoheri nsecret.
Myuncl ewoul dneverhavedi sappearedwi thmy
chil
d.Iwoul dst il
lhaveadaught er.Isuggestedwe
nameourseconddaught erLulonkebecauseI
thoughti twoul dfil
lthevoi d,thegapi nmysoulbut
i
tdidnot .Losi ngoursecondLul onkewas
unimagi nable.Ihadl ostyetanot herdaughter.I
thi
nki fIcoul dIwoul dhavenamedLakhi weLul onke
too.Theyear sofnotknowi ngwhatmybabyat e
whileIdi nedinst yl
ewi thherf at
herwashel l
.Then
thecomment sMl uusedt omake" goodthingwe
hadchi ldr enwhenwewer ereadyandnotwhenwe
werebr oke,"mademer eal izehedoesnotr egretit
.
Sot el
linghi m whatIr eallydidwoul dhaveopened
upawhol enewcanofwor ms.Wewomanar e
somet imessodesper atet okeepamant hatwel ose
ourselvesoutofdesper ation.ItoldLakhiwe
everythingandshewasj ustcr yi
ng.Ithoughtshe
woul djudgemeandgot ellmyboyshowevi ltheir
mot heri sbutshej ustst oodandgavemeal ong
hug.Mygr andmot herwast heonl yper sonwho
knew, wellmyuncl eandhi swi fetoobutt otell
someoneel sef eltgood.Idi dnotf eelbet t
erabout
mysel fbutIf eltabi tf r
ee.Ahel dmydaught erinl
aw
andwebot hj ustcr ied.Idon' tknowwher emychi l
d
i
sbutIhopeonedaysheget st oheart hatIwant ed
herandhadpl anst obr i
ngherhomesoshewoul d
growupwi thhersi blings.Hadi tnotbeenf ormy
unclestealingher ,shewoul dhavebeenher e.Mlu
wouldhavebeenangr ybutmaybehewoul dhave
l
ovedher .Il ovedhersomuch.Peopl ethinkImour n
oneLul onkebutImour nt wot houghonemi ghtsti
ll
bealive.Iwonderi fshei sal i
veandhappy.Ihope
sheishappy.Ihopemyuncl eandhi swi felovedher
asiftheygaveherl i
fe.I fmyuncl ewal ksinIwoul d
notbeangr y,aslongashet r
eatedmychi ldwell
andgaveherl oveandpr ovided, Iwillnotbeangr y
athim.Hehadhi sr easonst otakeher ,l
ikeIhad
minet oleaveher .If oundmysel fhat i
ngMl ueven
mor ebutIhat edmysel fmor eforal lowingi t
.I
thoughtIwasdoi ngt her ightthing, IreallydidbutI
shouldhavet oldMl uwher etogetof fwhenhe
askedmet ot ermi nat ebuti nsteadbeggedf oraring.
Somet hi
ngIhavebeenr egr
ett
ingsince.HowwillI
tellmyboysthatt
heLulonketheysawont he
pictur
eisnottheonetheyknew?Theyl ookedso
ali
keasbabies.Idonotblamet hei
rbrother
sfor
thinki
ngiti
sthesist
ertheyknew.
[
03/
28,
17:
22]Lynne:FI
FTYONE

Mr
sE

Af t
erLakhiwepr actical
lybeggedmet otel
lt heboys
whatIdi dIf i
nall
ygavei n.Shesai dmaybet hey
couldhel p.Icouldn'tputLulonkeinsomel ostl oved
onesTVshowsbecauseIf earedwhatt hef ami l
ies
mi ghtsay.IaskedLakhi wet ogivemesomepr i
vacy
j
ustt ocol l
ectmyt houghtsbef oretell
ingmysecr et
.
Itstruethatawomani sadeepoceanf i
ll
edwi th
secrets.Therearet hingsIam wi l
li
ngt otelllikethis
thingofLul onkebutt hentherearet hoseIwi l
lgot o
thegr avewi t
h.Isatonmybedl ookingatt he
pictureonceagai n.Iwonder edifmyf i
rstLul ogrew
upt olookl i
kethesecond.It houghtIhadbur ied
thi
spartofmyl ifebutIhavenot.Iwashopi ngshe
wouldfindmeandIwoul dn'
tevenhavet r
iedt
o
denyherst or
y.Iwonderifsheknowst hatsheis
adoptedil
legall
ysot oo.Myphoner ang.Itwasa
pri
vatecall
.Ianswer edbutt
herewassi lenceonthe
othersi
deoft heline.

Mlufl
:"Zol
a,i
tsme"hewhi sper
ed.Iwasbothscared
andreli
evedtohearfr
om him.Igotupfrom t
hebed
andwentt ol
ookoutthewindow."Zozo,canyou
hearme? ,
"headded.Mymout hfel
tdry.

Zol
a:"
I'
m here,
Tat
a.Wher
ear
eyou,
Mlu?
,"I
whi
spered.

Mlu:"
Ican'
ttel
lyout
hat
.Ij
ustwant
edt
oletyou
knowI'
m saf
e,"

Zola:"Youescapedf
rom pr
ison.Howdoyouexpect
yourinnocencetobepr
ovenwhenyour unl
ikea
gui
lt
yper
son?

Mlu:"Wouldyour at
herIr otinj
ailf
orsomethi
ngI
didnotdo?Ididnotkillthatwomanbutt he
evidencetheyplant
edt oframemewast oomuch.I
woul dhaveservedyearsf oracri
meIdidnotdo.I
n
factIwouldhavediedint here"

Zola:"
Soyoustil
lhavenoi
deawhoi
smessi
ngup
yourli
fel
iket
his?”

Mlu:"
NobutIwi l
landIwillmakethatpersonpay.
Evenpr i
sonwi llbenothi
ngcompar edt owhatIwil
l
do.Iwillneverbeabl etopracti
ceagain.My
reput
ationistar ni
shed.TellLi
yematogobackt o
thefi
rm andl ookaf t
ermyl egacypl
ease.Helist
ens
toyou,"hepleaded.

Zol
a:"
Liyemahasjustf
oundhappi
ness,
Mlu.Heis
bui
ldi
nghisownlegacyforhi
sownsons.Ican'
task
somuchofhi
m.Dudumashewi
lll
ookaf
ter
..
."

Mlu:"
Hei snotblooddammit!,
"heshoutedatme.
"YoumakemeshoutwhenIdi dnotwantto,not
withthiscal
lbecausethenextonewillbeaftera
l
ongt ime.Okay,hedoesnotneedtopr act
icebutat
l
easthavehi m makesuremyasset saretakencare
of,
"

Zola:
"Okay,"Isai
dsoft
ly.Hedidnotevenapologi
ze
forshout
ing.Thatist
het hi
ngIhat
emostabouthi m.
Hedoesnotuset hewor d"t
hankyouandI'm sorr
y"
much.

Mlu:"
Good"hesaid.Notthankyou."Idon'tknow
whenIwillbebackorifIeverwill
.Ijustwantedt o
l
etyouknowIam saf e.NotevenDudumashe
knowswher eIam.ForallIknowhef r
amedme.My
moneygotf r
ozenonmyper sonalaccountbutin
ourjoi
ntaccountt
hereshouldbeenoughf oryout o
use.Dudumashewi l
lmakesur eyouar ewelltaken
careof.I
fyouneedmore,sel
lthehouseandsome
ofthecars.Iwon'
tst
opprovi
dingforyoubecauseI
knowwi t
houtmeyouwillst
arve,
"hesaidwit
h
confi
dence.

Zol
a:"
Liyemawi
llneveral
lowt
hat
,"hel
aughed.

Mlu:"
Ohplease,hedoesnothaveenoughtoaff
ord
you.Letmego.Iloveyou,Zol
a,"hesai
d.Iwas
shockedbecauseIcoul
dnotremembert hel
ast
ti
mehesai dit
.

Zol
a:"
Mlu,
Ihavesomet
hingt
otel
lyou"

Ml
u:"I
twi
llhavet
owai
t.Iwi
llcal
linaweekorso"

Zol
a:"I
tcan'
t.Ineverhadt
heabor
ti
on,
"Ibl
urt
edout
andhekeptquiet.
Ml
u:"Youcamebackwi
thoutababy,
"hesai
dsof
tl
y.

Zola:
"Il
eftherwi t
hmygr an.Youdidnotwanther
butIdid.Icouldn'
tkil
lher.Iwant
edhersobadly,
Mlu"Isaid.Itoldhimtheentir
estor
y.

Mlu:"Whydoyounotl i
sten,Zola.Sowehaveachi ld
outtherewhodoesnotknowus?Youar ejust
stupidsometi
mes.Wewi l
ltal
kwhenIcal lagain.
Dammi t,Zol
a.Igaveyouval i
dreasonswhywe
couldn'
thavethatchi
ldandyouwentagai nstmy
j
udgementnowt hi
s.Wewi llt
alknextweek,".

Heendedt hecallandIsatt herefeel

ingcrushed.
Hasheal waysbeent hiscruel?Perhapseven
narssi
sti
c.Iwipedmyt ear
sof fandjoinedthekids.
Theboysst oodwhent heysawmebutIt oldthem
tosit
.Lakhiwejustlookedatmewi theyesfil
led
wit
hpi t
y.Itol
dthem theirdadcal l
ed.Theyasked
wherehewasandIsai dIdon' tknow.Ievenlied
andsaidMl usenthislovetot hem all
.Theyjust
nodded.Lakhi
wemadeteaforusbutLungihad
beer
.Weal lwentt
othel
ounge.

Zol
a:"
Ihavesomethingtotel
lyou.Youwi
llhat
eme
butt
hatiswhatIdeserve,
"

Lungi
:"
Hat
eourqueen?Never
!"

Li
yema:"Ar
eyoureadyt
otalkaboutear
li
er?
"I
nodded.It
ookasipofmyteaandtookadeep
breat
h.

Lakhi
we:"
LetusgiveherachancetospeakandI
j
ustaskthatyoubothpl
easetryt
oseethingsf
rom
herper
specti
ve,
"

Li
yema:"Idon'
tli
kethesoundofthisbutsi
ncewe
havebeenhavingscandal
sI'
mt hisfamil
ylat
ely,
I
mightaswellhearmore,
"hesatback.
Lungi
:"
Wear
eli
steni
ng,
Mma"hel
ookedatme.

Zol
a:"
Thepi ct
ureyousawofLul onke.I
tisLul
onke
i
nthepicturebutnottheoneyouknew,"Isuddenly
hadthei
rattent
ionevenmor e.Isl
owlytol
dmyst or
y
bet
weent earsandstutt
eri
ngbutItoldi
tandallt
hey
di
dwasl ookatme.

Lungi:"
Sowehaveasi stert hati
snotevenourhalf
sist
erbutoursisteri
nf ulloutthereandyoudidnot
botheryoursel
fwithher.AnEl ephant
,Mmanota
babyyouhadwi t
hapr eviousl overbutaHlubiwi
th
thesamebl oodasour sthr oughandt hr
ough?"he
saidlooki
ngdisgusted.

Liyema:
"Idonotunderst
andwhyyoudi
dnott
ell
yourhusband,
"helookedatme.

Zol
a:"
Hedi
dnotwanthersoIcoul
dn'
ttel
lher
beforewegotmarri
ed.Oncewewer emarri
edshe
wentmi ssi
ngandIcoul
dn'tfi
ndher
.Yourfather
wouldhavecall
edmenamesever ychancehegot
becauseofthechoi
cesImade.EvennowwhenI
toldhim,hedi
dn'
temphasize.Hej
ustcal
ledme
stupi
d,"

Lungi
:"
Doyoubl
amehi
m?"heshout
ed.

Zola:"
Woul dyouhavehadmeabor therinst
eadhuh?
IdidwhatIt houghtwasagooddeci sionbackt hen.
Mypl anunl ikeyourdearfatherwasnott okillher.It
wast ogi veherl i
feandbringhertohim andf ace
theconsequances.Eveni fthoseconsequences
wer edivorceandl osi
ngcustodyofhertoyour
father
.Iwasnotgoi ngtocarryherforawhol enine
damnmont hsi fIdidnotwanther.Ihadapl anand
i
tdi dnotwor k.Judgemebymyact i
onsbutnotmy
bloodyi ntenti
ons.Soyes, Iblameyourfather
becausehest art
edi t
.Doyouknowwhati ti
sl i
ket o
beyoung, pregnantandscar ed?!
”Ishoutedbackat
him.Whothehel
ldoeshethi
nkhei
s.Hedoesnot
evenknowli
feasIdoyet
.

Liyema:
"Iact
uall
yhearyou.Sowhatnow?The
personwhomadeyougot othoseext
reme
measuresisgone.Howdoyouwantt omove
forwar
d?"helookedatme.Khiwehadaf ai
ntsmil
e
onherface.Iguesssheisproudofhi
sresponse.

Zola:"Ihavetri
edtofindherforyear
s.Iranoutof
optionssoallIhopenowi sforherorthepeopl
e
whot ookhertolookforme.Myuncl eknowsmeso
Iassumehedoesnotwantt obr i
ngmychi l
dback,
"I
sai
dwhi lelooki
ngathim.

Lungi
:"
IfIwasher
eIwoul
dn'
tbother
.I'
m sur
eshei
s
happywhereshei
swit
houtt
hisdrama"

Li
yema:"
SheisanElephant
.Li
keyousaid,
thi
sis
notMma'
slovechi
ldwithanot
herman.Sheisus.I
f
youwantherbackthenletust
ryagai
n.Maybe
makethesearchpubli
c"

Lungi
:"Ohwhatisonemor eheadl
ineaboutt
his
famil
y?"heaskedsar
cast
ical
ly.

Zola:"
Lungi
,wouldyour at
herIhaddonewhatyour
fat
herasked?"Iaskedsoft
lyandhelookeddown.

Lungi:"
NoMmabut ..
.Idon'
tknow.Ij
ustl
earnedI
haveanothersi
sterwhoisLulutoo.I
t'
salot
..
.NoI
wouldn'
thavepreferr
edyoutohavedonewhathe
askedbutiti
salot,"hesai
dwithsadnes.

Zol
a:"IknowandIam sor
ry.Ij
ustcouldn'
tkeep
qui
etanymore.Ndoda,
IdonotknowwhatIwantt o
domovi ngf
orwar
d.Idonotknow,"Isatdownand
Khi
wehuggedme.
Liyema:"CalltheElephantel ders.Tellthem what
youdi dbecauseImaki ngthissear chpubl i
csoon.I
willnothavemyownoutt her e.Iwillnotletgoof
anothersister.Don'taskmet o.Youknowhow
i
mpor t
antfami l
yist ome.Icannotl ookaway.Even
i
fshei sdead, Iwillatl
eastknowr atherthan
wonder .Wear egoingt oMt ataassoonasIcanget
awayf rom wor kforaf ewdays.I '
m gladyoudi dnot
aborther.Ijustwishyout oldyourmant ostickhi
s
moneyuphi sassandgor ai seyourchi ldwiththe
helpofyourf amily,
"

Zol a:"Ihearyoubutt henyourfat

herwouldhave
l
ef tmeandIwoul dn'thavehadyouandyourother
siblings.Iperhapswoul dhavehadotherkidsbut
theywoul dnotbeyou.Youar ewhoyouarepartl
y
becauseMl u'sgenesar einyou.Don'
taskmet o
regr etyouchildr
ent ooplease,
"

Lungi
:"Ineedt
ogo,
"
Liyema:" Met oo.Baby, Iwillpicktheboysupl at
er.I
don'tthinkIwi llfocusinclassl at
eron.Iwillgo
makear rangement swiththeteam soIcangot o
Mt atawithMmat otel
ltheelders.IloveyouandI
willseeyoul ater ,
"hekissedhi swife."Il
oveyoutoo,
Mma"heki ssedmycheek.” Youar enotgoing
anywher e.Ourmot herneedsyou.Iknowyouwant
togobi ngedr inkingbutyouandIar enowher
protectorswhi l
eTai saway.Getr eadyt ogoto
Mt ata,
"hepoi nt edatLungi.

Iwat chedhim walkoutoft hedoor .Myboyhas

alreadyfil
ledthepositionoffamilyleaderandhe
doesi twit
hsuchki ndnessandcommandatt he
samet i
me.Lungiwentt ogetanotherbeer .Atage
27hei sabitimmat urebutIunder standthisti
me
around.Lakhi weandIwentupst airstopackmy
clothessinceIwillstaywiththem.Idon' tli
keitbutI
can'tbealone.IfearwhatImi ghtdot omyself.I
toldLungihecoul dgobecauseI '
mi nsaf ehands
withLakhiwe.Hewasnotr eadytobear oundme
andIcoul dn'tbl
amehi m.IfIcoul dfindawayt onot
bear oundmyself,I
'
dt akeit
.NowIj ustneedto
preparemyselffortheElephantel
ders.Ithi
nkmy
mot herinl
awwi l
lgobackt onotli
kingmeagai n.
I'
mr eadyforanythi
ngt heythr
owmyway.

LI
YEMA

Idrovear oundandcoul donlyt hinkaboutMma' s

confession.Thet houghtofanot herLul onkewhoi s
al
somysi sterbeingoutt herebot hersme.What
stat
ei sshei n?I sshemar r
ied?Hecki ssheeven
al
ive?I '
m af ami l
yor i
entedper son.Il oveuni tyand
suppor twithinfami l
ies.I'
mt heonewhoal ways
makest i
met oseet heextendedf ami lyduring
Decemberbr eakbecauset het houghtofbei ng
surroundedbybl oodi simpor tant.HadLal aj ust
beent hemot herofmychi l
drenandnotmyl over ,
I
woul dstil
lhavemadesur eIl ookaf t
ermyboys.I
drovet otheof fi
cet odosomewor k.Ical
ledLucky
i
nwhom Ihaveapr omot i
ont oint omyof f
ice.It ol
d
him Iwi l
lneedaf ewdaysof fandi fhecoul dst and
i
nf orme.Hewast oohappyt ohel p.I'm st i
llkeepi ng
acl osel ookatourf inancessoheknowst onot
messwi thanyt hing.Ical l
edmyf at her'
sbr othert o
tellhimt hatwear ecomi ngandt hatheshoul dt ell
hismot herandsi bl
ings.Avi sitfrom mecameasno
shockt othem butt ohearI 'm comi ngwi thMmaand
Lungiwasashock.Thoset wowentt hereonl ywhen
i
twasamustandTawasar ound.Iaskedmy
recept i
oni stt obookmet icket sandshegotaf light
tot heEast ernCapef ortomor rowni ght.Ial socal l
ed
Patsoshewoul dshewoul dhel pLal awitht heboys
unt ilI
'm back.Iwor kerforaf ewhour swhenIgota
callf r
om Mmasayi ngLungineededt obepi ckedup
from somebar .Iknewhewoul dgodr i
nki ng.Idr ove
tot hepl aceandf oundhi m sl oshedwi thhi shead
facedownont hebar .Thisboyi sal most30yet
behavesl iket hi s.Thebar manhel pedmegethi mi n
thecar .Hewi lljusthavet ocomebackf orhi scar
tomor r
ow.Ihat edt hatIwoul dhavet opickt heboys
upwhi lethecarr eekedofbooze.Igott ot he
daycar eandt ol dMaEuni ceaboutourt rip.Imi ss
telli
ngherst uff.Sheseem t ohavemor eki dsnow.
Theboysal lrant omewhent heysawme.Iusedt o
beabl et opi ckthem al lupatoncebutnowi t'
sa
mi ssion.MaEuni cehel pedmebuckl et hem up.I
couldseeshewasdi sgust edbyt heal coholsmel l.
Theboysdi dnotseem f azed.Theyj ustkeptsayi ng
"Nci"whi chi sthei rwayofsayi ng" Tamci "but" Nci"
i
spassedout .Idr ovehomeandf oundMma' scarin
thegar age.IcalledLal at ohel pme.Shegott he
boysi nsi dewhi l
eIhadt ogett hedr unkheavy
"baby"i nsidet otheguest r
oom t osl eepi tof
f.Mma
alsowentupst airs.Iguesst omakehi m comf ort
abl.
Ididnotevenki ssmywi fewhenIgothome.If ound
hercooki ngmyf avour it.Ikissedher , mypeace.I
putt heTVonf ort heki ds.Theyhavet hese
car t
oonst heydon' tl
ikemi ssingaf terdaycar e.Lala
gavemesnackst ogi vet ot hem.Theseboysl ove
foodl iket heirf
ather .Imadecof feef orLalaandI
andshegavemeveggi est opeelwhi lewespoke.
Wecoul dseet heboysf rom t hekitchensot hey
wer eal lcalm andf ocusedont hescr een.

Li
yema:”Soyour
eall
yhavenopr
obl
em wi
thus
l
eavi
ng?"shesmi
led.
Khi
we:"Iwil
lmissyoubutIknowwhyyouneedt o
dothi
s.Thanksforar
rangi
ngsisPatbecauseIhave
anassi
gnmentIneedt oworkonthi
sweekend,"

Li
yema:"
Iwouldn'
tjustl
eavewi
thoutget
ti
ngyou
hel
pfi
rst
.Yousureyou..
."

Lakhiwe:"
Baby,
I'
m sur
e.Sohowdoyout
hinkt
hey
wil
ltakeit
?"

Liyema:"Iknowsomewillbl
ameherf orever
ythi
ng.
I'
m hopingMakhuluunderst
ands,
"Ichewedona
carrot
.

Lakhi
we:"Andhowar eyoufeel
ingaboutit
.Iknow
youhavetobef amilyheadnowt hatTat
aisgone
butyoudon'thavetoactastoughasanai lwit
hme"
shesaidandwr appedherarmsar oundmy
shoul
derswhileherfacenestl
edinmyneck.I
t
urnedmyheadt
oki
sshercheek.

Li
yema:" I
'
m notgood.IwishIcouldsayI '
m as
under
standingasIletonbutIneedt omanup.
Mmawi llneedsomeonei nhercornerinthi
sfami
ly
meeti
ngandLungiwi llnotbethatperson,
"

Lakhiwe:"I'
m proudofyouandhowyouhavebeen
handli
ngt hingssofar.Ir
eall
yt hi
nkshewant
edthe
pl
ant owor k.Ibeli
eveherintenti
onswer
epure.
Thingsjustdidnotgoaccor dingtopl
an"

Li
yema:"Thati
swhatpisseemeof f.Thefactt
hata
pl
anhadt obemadeinthefirstplacelikeLul
onke
wassomebastardchi
ld.Yes, shewasbor noutof
wedl
ockbutsheisnodiffer
entf rom us.Whatifwe
fi
ndherhappyandrui
nherl i
fe? "

Lakhi
we:"Whatifyoufi
ndherunhappyandmeet
heratj
ustther
ightti
me?Idon'tunder
standhow
peoplecantakeachil
dli
kei
t'
sanobj
ect
.Theyhad
norightt
otakeher,
"

Li
yema:"It
'sdone.Wher ewillweevenbegintofind
her?I
'vebeenthinki
ngthatsinceMma' spri
vate
methodsfail
ed.Iwil
lhavet oputthepi
ctureonaTV
show.Maybeshewi l
lseeitandcalli
n.IhatethatI
wouldhavetohangMma' slaundrytothepubl
icbut
Ihaveto,
"

Mma:"Idon'tcar
eifmyf i
lt
hylaundryishungf or
theworl
dtosee.Ifi
tcanhelpIdon'tmi nd.Ialso
wanttothankyoutwosomuch.I 'm sorrythatyou
havetogoont hi
sunexpectedtr
ipwi t
hmel eaving
yourf
ami l
ybutIappreci
ateyoursuppor t
,Ndoda
andyoutooLakhiwe,
"

Lakhiwe:"
Ihaveafeeli
ngyouwoul dhavedonethe
samehadt hetabl
esbeent urned.Icanresear
chall
theTVshowswhor econnectlovedonesandwr i
te
tothem al
landsendoutt helett
erswhenyousay
so,
".

Mma:" Sendthem assoonasyouaredone.The

Elephantswil
lnotagreet
oapublict
hing.Ihi
redt
op
privat
einvest
igat
orsandtheywil
lwantmet odo
thatagainandIcan't
.Iwanttodi
ehavingseenher
again."

Li
yema:"Don'
ttal
kli
keyou'
reter
minal
lyil
l.Youwi
ll
meetherandspendyear
swi t
hher.I
staki
ngLungil
e
agoodidea?"

Mma:"Yes,Idonotwantmydaught ertogetcal
ls
fr
om cl
ubsandbar stogopickLungil
eup.He
comeswith.Thatboyneedstogrowup,"shelooked
upst
air
s.

Lakhi
we:"Don'tcomparehimtoLi
yema, Mma.They
wil
lneverbethesame,"shesai
dwhi l
esti
rri
ngthe
potandputt
inginveggies.Mmajustkeptqui
et.I
don'
tthi
nkMmacomparesusoram Inoti
na
posi
ti
ontobeobj
ect
ive?

Mma:"Letmegowatchwit
hmybabi
es.Iwi
llmi
ss
t
hem alot
"shel
eftusal
one.

Li
yema:
"Howisvar
sit
y?"Iasked.Shegavemean
appr
eci
ati
vesmi
le.

Lakhiwe:"Academicwi sei
t'
sgood, baby.Thankyou
foraski
ngandInol ongergooutofmywayt omake
fri
ends.Sindicamet ocampust hi
smor ning.It
hink
shewi l
lcomeoverSundayaf ternoonaf t
erchurch.
I'
m sogladIl ear
nedhowt odriveforsuch
sit
uati
onswhenyouwi l
lbeawayf rom home,"

Li
yema:"I
'
m gl
adtoo.Doyout
hinkshewi
lll
ikeus?
Lul
onkeImean.
"
Lakhi
we:"Letusfindherandtakeitf
rom t
here.I
l
earneddoingthatfr
om you,"webothsmil
ed."I
thi
nkitwil
lbehardatfir
stbutoncesheisoverthe
shock,shemightli
keus,"sheki
ssedme.

Weshar edthelongesthugever .Ijustwant edtobe

Iherar ms.IgaveMmaourf l
ightdet ail
s.Makhulu
calledherandshewentupandspokeont hephone
foraboutanhour .Iguessshewasupdat i
ng
Makhul uaboutTa.Iwentt oplaywi t
hmyki dsand
bathedt hem oncewewer edone.Lungi lewokeup
afteraf ewhoursandwentt ogethi scarandgo
home.Hesai dhewoul dmeetusatt heairport
tomor rowbutIwi llhavet owaitandsee.Wef edthe
childrenandputt hem t obed.Lal aandIf i
rstgot
someofourwor kf i
nisheduntillateatnight.Mma
wentt obedear l
y.I '
m guessingshei snervousand
str
essedaboutt omor row.Honest lyIam too.My
wifeandIwentt obed.Usual lyIwoul dwantto
makel ovetoheral lni
ghtsincewewi l
lbeapar tf
or
adayort wobutIwasnotokaysowej ustcuddled.
Iknowt hi
sLulonkewon' tbeli
ket heoneweknew
buti ftheyl ookedsomuchal i
keasbabi es, I
i
magi net hem tohavegr ownt olookthesamet oo.
Lulonkeal wayswant edasi sterandIwi shshewas
her erightnow.Orper hapsi t'sgoodshei snot
becauseofever ythi
ngt hathadhappenedl at el
yand
herhavi nghadasensi t
ivehear t
.Maybeshewoul d
notevenhavel ikedanot hergi r
lsteal
ingour
attention.Imi ssher .Inowt hinkMmasawherasa
replacementandi fI'
mr ightitwasnotf ai ronmy
sister.IfMmacoul dkeepsuchasecr etf orsomany
year s,IshudderwhenIt hinkofwhatot her
skelet onssheandTahavei nt hosedeepcl osetsof
theirs.Idon' tcar eaboutt hatnowt hough.Att he
momental lIwanti st obr i
ngoneofmyownback
home.Ican' tstandi nf orTaasheadoft hef ami l
y
andnotmakesur ewear eal lhome.Iwi llbringher
homeeveni fshei sdeadandbur i
ed.Iwi l
lgether
remai nsf rom thewi ldernessandbr i
nghert othe
fami lybur i
alsite.ShewasanEl ephantandTa
mi ghtnothavewant edherbutIdo.Thei deaofan
oldersi stersoundgood.
[
03/
28,
17:
23]Lynne:FI
FTYTWO
Mr
sE

Wear ri
vedatmyi nl awshouset ool ateforust o
tal
k.Weal ldecidedi twasbestwet alkint he
mor ni ngwhenwehaveal lhadagoodni ghtr est.I
wokeupandwor emyMakot iclotheswhi chi snot
myf avor i
tethingst oputonbutIhavet orespect
cultur e.Theheatdi dnothel pmuchei t
her.Ihadt o
wakeupear l
yt ogiveai dtomysi cklymot heri nlaw.
ItseemsMl u'scasehi tMakhul uElephantmor e
thanIr eali
zed.Shel ooksol dernowandi smor e
reser ved.Imadet eaandser vedi twithscones.
Ther ei salwayssconesandhomemadebr eadi n
thishouse.Isatdownheadbowedi nfrontofmyi n
l
awsl i
keagoodl itt
leMakot i
.Idon' tthi
nkMl u
deser vesi tbutIdonotwantt ogi vehi smom mor e
reasont ogetsi ckerbydi srespect i
ngher .Li yema
andLungisatbesi deme.Theyhavenot hingt o
wor ryabout .Shoul dt hefami lyhat emet heywi l
lnot
beaf f ectedbecauset heyar et hesonsoft hef amil
y
breadwi nnerandmostl i
kelyt hebenef i
ciariesof
Ml u'
sest ate.Theuncl eswentonandonabouthow
unhappyt heywer ewhenIwasnothomewhent hey
visit
edaf terMl u'sar r
estbutwhent heywer ein
CapeTownt heycl ai medt ounder stand.Bunchof
twof acedugl ymen.Icoul dseeMamai snotwel l
byherbei ngsoqui et.Sheneverbi teshert ongueso
shemustbet roubl edwhi chmademewonderi fwe
choset her ightt i
met ocomewi t
hsuchbi gnews.
Liyemat ookcont r oloft hesi tuationbysayi ngwe
arenother et ohearwhatabadwi feIhavebeen
l
at el
ybutbecauseofacompl etelyunr elatedissues.
Ilovehowhecant akecont rol ,commandandl ead
withoutdi srespect ingel ders.I tisdef ini
telynot
somet hinghel ear nedf rom hi sf ather .Lakhi we' s
grandfatheri sl i
ket hatandIknowLi yemahol ds
himt ohighr egardsohemi ghtbel ookingatt heol d
manasagoodexampl e.Lakhi we' sf ami l
ymi ghtbe
poorcompar edt ousbutIhaver eal i
zedt hatthey
arerichinl ove, suppor t,unityandr espect .Iguess
thatiswhymysoni ssocont entwi thhiswi f
eand
herf amily.TheEl ephant slentust heirear s.Liyema
l
ookedatmeandaskedi fI'mr eadyt otalkabouti t.
I'
m notr eadybutImust .Ilaidmyst orybef oret hem
andt het hr
eebr ot
herswereclappi
ngonceand
putti
ngt heirhandsoverthei
rmout hslikeold
gossipingwomen.Mamaneverhaddaught ers.Li
ke
LakhiweandLi yemashehadf ourboysbutMl u'
s
femal ecousinswer erai
sedbyhersoheki ndofhad
sist
er stoo.IlookedatMama.Weal lknowt hather
opinioncount smost .Li
yemaexplainedmyr easons
mor e.

Peter:"
Never!Mluwouldneveraskyoutokil
lhi
s
ownbl ood.Idonotbeli
eveyou.Iam sur
eyougot
pregnantbyanothermanandt hati
swhyyoudi d
whatyoudi d.Thatchi
ldisnotanEl
ephant,
"oneof
theunclessaid.

Li
yema:"Iwi
llnotal
lowyout odi
srespectmy
mother,
Tamci.Hadyoulivedwit
husyouwoul d
haveknownthatyourbr
otherwasnosai nt
,"

Thomas:"Weknewhim si
ncehewasababysodo
nott
ellusthat
.Weknewourbrot
herandweknow
thathewoul dneverdosuchat hing.Goandf i
ndthe
fatherofthischi
ldandgethisblessingstof
indher.
Youwi llnotdragournamethrought hemudany
mor ethanithasbeentarni
shedal r
eady,"

Zola:"Iwasnotl ooki
ngf orpermi ssiontogolook
formychi l
d.Iwasonl ytell
ingyououtofr espectfor
thi
sf ami l
y.Mluhast akenal otfr
om meandi tis
ti
meIr ecl
aim mypower .Iwil
llookf ormydaughter
whoi sanEl ephantthroughandt hroughandthere
i
snot hingyoucandot ostopme, "Ilookedatthe
brothers.

Thomas:"Nozol
il
e,youwillnotcomef r
om your
subur
bstomyf ather
'shousetodisrespectmy
motherandus.YouthinkwithMlugonewewi l
l
al
lowyoutodoasyoupl ease,"heshouted.

Lungi
:"I
'
m nothappywiththi
sTat'
omdal
abutif
Mmasayst hi
schildwasfr
om thi
sfamil
ythent
hat
chi
ldwasfr
om thisfami
ly,
"
Li
yema:"
Isf
rom t
hisf
ami
ly.Donott
alkl
ikeshei
s
dead,
"

Piet
er:"
Getoutofmyf at
her
'shouse.How
conveni
entthatyoucometousonlynowt hatMl
u
cannotdefendhimself
.Nonsense,
mannonsense!"

Makhulu:"Hey,
heyshutup!
"sheshouted
unexpect
edlyandwedidnotknowwhoshewas
tel
li
ngthattosowewaitedf
orhertospeak.

Liyema:"Wearesorryforcomi ngwiththiswhen
youar eil
l,
Makhulu.Wemeantnodi srespect
.Iwil
l
searchformysisterandImi ghtgoonTVt oget
help.Thelastt
hingwewant edwasf oryoutofi
nd
outthatway.I'
m sureasamot heryoursel
fyou
understandwhereMmawascomi ngfrom.She
l
ovedLul onkealot,
"
Piet
er:"
Imaginethedi
srespectt
omyni ece'
s
memor ybynamingheraf t
eralovechil
dyou
wantedtokil
l.Si
es,Nozol
il
e"helit
eral
lyspatont
he
fl
oor.Howdisgusti
ngcanaper songet?

Makhulu:"
Shutup!"sheshoutedwhilel
ookingat
herson.Theywereallshocked.Fezi
let
helastbor
n
wasalwaysquietsoIwasnotshockedbyhi s
si
lence.

Thomas:" Mamathiswomanistheonewhoyou
shouldsaythatt
o.ImmoralwomanandI '
m sur
e
Mluiswher eheishidi
ngl
ikeathugbecauseof
her,
"Ilookeddownbecausethatwastr
ue.

Fezi
:"Iknowaboutthechild,
Makoti
,"hesai
dquietl
y.
Itwasasthoughsomeonehadgi venmewat eraft
er
dayslosti
nthedesert
.Liyemalookedatmeand
smiled.
Makhulu:"Iknowaboutthechil
dtoo,
"shesai
d.I
t
wasast houghawat er
fal
lappearedi
nmydesert
.If
sheknewI '
m okay.

Thomas:"Ma,youaresayi
ngt
hatbecauseyoufear
thi
sonewi l
lst
opgivi
ngyoumoneysinceMluis
gone:"
.I'
m sohappynonofmyboysgotthei
r
unclesst
upidi
ty.

Makhul u:"Myhusbandl eftmeaf arm withli

vestock.
Idonotneedf i
nancialassistance.Maybeyouar e
theoneaf rai
dthatMl u'
smoneywi l
lstopfeeding
you.Look, Zozo,
"shecal l
edmebymyni ckname
whichwasagoodsi gn."Iknowaboutt he
pregnancy.TosayIknewaboutt hebabywoul dbe
untruebecauseIt houghtyouwentt hroughwi t
hi t
.
FezileandMl ungi
sihaveal waysbeencl ose.Mlu
wascomf ort
abletell
inghisyoungestbr otherhis
secretsbecausewel lweal lknowFezii samanof
fewwor ds,"shesmi l
edatherson." Ionceoverhead
Mlut al
kaboutget ti
ngyoupr egnantbutIhadnot
metyouyet.Youwerest
il
lagirl
fr
iendbackthen.He
tol
dFezihowhemanagedt ogetyoupregnantaft
er
onetimeofbeingt
oget
her.Tel
lherwhathesaid
Fezi
le,
"

Fezi
le:"
Iwaspr
acti
cal
lyachi
ldbackthenbutI
rememberhi
m sayi
nghewasnotreadytobea
fat
her,
".

Li
yema:"
Heshoul
dhavelear
nedtouseadamn
condom,
"hemumbledbutt
heel
dersdi
dn'
thear
.

Makhulu:"Ididn' tconfr
onthimthatdaybutIdi da
fewmont hsaf terbuthet oldmeitwastoolate.
Thatyouhadt heabor ti
on.Myheartwasshat tered
becauseitwoul dhavebeenmyver yf
ir
stgrandbaby
from mybiologi calchil
drenbuti
twasdone.Ihada
cleansi
ngforhi m becausehesai dyoustayedt o
haveyourcleansi ngtoo,
"
Zol
a:"Whyhaveyounevert
hrownt
hisi
nmyf
ace
dur
ingourugl
yfi
ght,
Mama? "

Makhulu:"BecauseIknewt hatyoudi dwhatmyson

askedofyou.Maybehadyoumadet hechoiceon
yourownbutIhadnor i
ghttoblameyou.Imade
peacewiththechi l
dbeinggone.Whenyouwer e
pregnantwit
ht hetwinsandIsawi tasasi gnfr
om
theancestor
st hattheyfor
gavet heirsonformaking
youdosuch.Iwashopi ngwhenourr elat
ionshi
p
i
mpr ovedyou'dopenupbutt hatneverhappened,"

Zol
a:"
SodoIhaveyourbl
essi
ngst
ofi
ndher
?"

Makhulu:"
Hadyoucomet omesoonerwewould
havel
ookedal ongtimeago.Youhavemy
bl
essi
ngsgof i
ndMaMl ambo,bri
ngMaHlubiback
home,MaDl adl
aneedst oknowthatwewanther
andarereadytowel comeherhome.Bri
ngoneof
ourEl
ephantpr i
ncesshome,”whenshecal
led
Lul
onkebyt hefamilyclannameswebothcri
ed.I
gotgoosebumps.Isatwithmysonscomfort
ingme.
Idi
dnotcarewhatthebr ot
herssai
dbuti
fthei
r
motherspoket
hatwast helastwor
d.

Liyema:"Thankyou, Makhul u.Hlubikaziwil

lbe
broughthome, nomat t
erthecondi t
ionwef indher
i
n.Shewi l
lstepfootinhergr andfat
her '
shouse,I
promiseyou.Thankyou, Mampondomi se,t
hank
you"heknel tandkissedhi sgrandmot her'
shands.
Shebr ushedhisheadsof tl
yli
keshei sblessinghi
m.
Theset wohaveal wayshadabond.Iwoul dnotbe
surpri
sedifMamal eftLiyemaherf arm shouldshe
die.

PeterandThomassatl i
kesomeonet ookt hei
r
favouri
tet
oy.Ofcour
seIwi l
lst
opsuppor t
ingtheir
grownasses.Theyhavewi vesandgr andchil
dren
butsuckedmyhusbanddr yint
henameoff amily.
Thosewhowant edLulonkehomecamewi thi
deas
tofindher
.Mmasuggest edwegot oEastLondon
andaskmygr anni
esnei ghbours.Shesaidmaybe
myuncl ehadaf ri
endhet ol
daboutwher ehewas
takingmychi ld.Wehadherf ul
lbl essi ngsand
Feziledrovewi thust oEastLondon.Iappr eciated
him becauseLi yemai syoungandel der l
ymen
preferanotherel derl
ymant otalkt o.Wef inal
lygot
toEastLondon.Ihaveasmal lfami l
y.I nfactright
nowi tisjustme, mysi steranddi st antaunt s.We
soldourgr andmot her'
shouseal ongt imeago.We
wentnextdoorwher eIr emembermyuncl eusedt o
drinkwithaf ri
end.Wei ndeedf oundt hemansi ck
andol d.Wet alkedwi tht heutmostr espectandhe
wasgl adt oanswer .

Tata:" Ngalomar r
iedaSwaziwomansoIwi l
lnot
besur prisedifhetookthechildthere.Iremember
thedayt heytookthechi l
dwel l
.Yourgr andmot her
wasbeggi nghimtowai tforit
smot herbuthi swife
saidtherewasnot ime.Thatchildcriedsomuch.I t
wasasi fsheknewshewast akenwi thouther
mot her'
sper missi
on.Thel astti
meIsawt hem was
whent heydr oveoffI'
m anol dblueMazda.Iswear
toyout heynevercameback.Ihavebeenher eall
myli
fe.Thatwast
hel
astIsawt
hem.Isuspect
Swazi
land,
"

Icri
edwhenhesai dmybabywascr yingast hough
sheknewshewasbei ngst olen.Somet hingt el
lsme
sheisnoti nSwazi land.Idon' tknowwhatbut
somet hi
ngj usttellsmeshei sinSout hAf ri
ca.I've
nevermetmyuncl eswi fesoIdon' tknowher .Ijust
assumeshecoul dnothaveanyki dsofherownso
shecomf ort
edher selfwithmychi ld.Achi ldIdi d
notabandon.Imer elykepthersaf e.Wef eltmor e
l
ostt hanever .Lungisuggest edsoci almedi a.He
tookapi ctureoft hebabyandputi tonhi ssoci al
pages.Liyemacal ledhi sLal atotellhert osendt he
l
ettersshewr otetot heTVshowsshef ound.We
drovebackt omyi n-l
aws.Ihopewewi llget
feedbacksoon.I '
vehear doft hepowerofsoci al
medi aandIpr ayitwor ksf orus.Liyemasai da
prayerwhenwehadachance.Hei st heonl yoneat
homewhogoest ochur ch.Imi ghtj ustj oinhim and
hisfamilysinceI '
llbewi t
ht hem foraf ewdays.
Hopef ul
lyLuloi sasoci almedi aaddi ctandsee
hersel
fther
eandf or
giveusf
ormakingherpubl
ic
butwear edesper
ate.Wewanther
,weneedher.

LAKHI
WE

Iknewt hatt heywer enotgoi ngtohavemuchl uck

fi
ndingheront hef i
rstday.I'
mjusthappyMakhul u
gaveherbl essing.Thatwomani sagoodper son
butpeopl ej udgeherbyherser i
ousf acial
expressi onandt hinkshei srude.Iper sonall
yl ove
myi nl aws.Isai dashor tprayeronceagai nf orLul o
tobef ound.Isentemai l
stoalltheshowsIf ound.
Sheorsomeonewhoknowsheri sboundt oseeat
l
eastoneoft hemeansweusedt ofi
ndher .Iwi l
l
haveasi steri nlaw.Ihopeshel i
kesus.Iwasatt he
varsitycomput erlabforsomer esearchsi ncet he
boyswoul dnotal lowmet owor kathome.If i
ni shed
verylat eint heaf ter
noonandwentt obuyt he
healthiestt akeawayIcanf i
nd.Iwalkedi ntot he
restaurantandpl acedanor derforat akeaway.I
waschat tingwi t
hhubbyonWhat sAppwhensome
guygr
eet
edme.Heint
roducedhi
mselfasAndi
le.
Hewasokayl
ooki
ng.Shortandayel
lowbone.

Andi
le:"
Iveseenyouaroundcampusaf ewtimes.
Youli
kebeingalonedon'
tyou?"heasked.I
fonl
yhe
knewIhadnochoi ce.

Lakhi
we:"
I'
mint
rover
tedl
iket
hat
,"Il
ied.

Andil
e:"Wowt hefi
rstt
hingwehaveincommon.I 'm
alonertoo.MaybethatiswhyIhavebeenso
att
ract
edt oyou.Youdof i
nancer
ight
?".His
questi
onmademef eeluncomfor
tabl
e."Don'twor
ry,
I'
m notstal
kingyou"headdedandlaughed
awkwardly.

Lakhi
we:"Ihavetogo.Myhusbandi
swait
ingf
or
me,"Il
iedbecauseIwant
edhimtobescar
ed.
Andil
e:"Youar edri
vingthecarwhi chisunusual .
I'
veseenyougetof ft heshutt
leallthetimemeani ng
thecariswithyourhusbandel sewher e.Nowt he
cariswithyousohemustbeawayorsomet hi
ng,"
myhear tst
artedtobeatf ast
er."Onceagai n.I'
m not
stal
kingyou.I'
mj ustobservant.Personall
yIwoul d
neverletmywi fegobyshut tl
etoschool .Iwould
dropheroffeverydayandpi ckherup, "

Wait
er:"
Yourt
akeaway,
mam, "shesai
dwi
thasmi
le
andhandedmethewarm br
ownpaperbag.

Lakhi
we:"
Bye,
Andi
le,
"

Andi
le:"
Haveagr
eateveni
ng,
Lakhi
we,
”

Igotoutoft
herefastbecauseIdidnotgi vehi
m my
nameyethesaidit.Ithi
nkthisguyhasbeen
stal
kingmeatschool.Igotinthecarlockedthe
doorsanddroveoff.Ibr
eathedeasierbutIhaveto
tel
lmyhusbandaboutt hi
scr eep.Isawcar
fol
lowingmeandIt ri
edt oloseitbuti ttookallthe
curvesthatIdid.Idr ovetowher eIsawsome
peopleandIpl annedt omakeahel lofascene.I
coulddrivehomebutt hedangerwoul df ol
lowme
homewher emyki dsar eandIwast oof arfrom the
poli
cestation.Ireadt hugshat eat t
entionsoIwas
goingtohaveat t
entiononhi m.Ipul ledoverandhe
didtoo.Itwast hisAndi l
eguyandIaskedhi m why
heisfoll
owi ngmel oudlyforever yonet ohear.Next
thi
ngal adypul l
edagunonAndi le.

Her:"
Whyar eyoufol
lowingher
?"sheaskedandput
thegunrightonhi
sface.Coul
dmydaygetany
scari
er?

Andile:"
Her..
.herphone.Shelef
titonthecount
erat
therestaur
ant.Iwantedtogiveittoher
",he
stut
tered.HisJeanwaswet ,hehadwethi msel
f.I
l
ookedatmyownpant sjusti
ncase.Iwenttograb
myphone.Hewenti ntohiscarandspedof f
.I
want
edt
odot
hesame.

Her :"
Relax,sweethear
tit'
sadamnt oyf
or
protecti
on,"shesaid."
Ithi
nktheboyhasacr ushon
you.Soyouwon' teventhankme?"sheasked.I
turnedslowly.ToyornotIwasscared.Ij
ustwanted
togo-tomybabi es.

Lakhi
we:"
Thankyou,
"Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Her:"
Becar eful
.Housewi
vesar etar
getsint
hese
str
eets.IseethecombieandfourcarseatssoI
knowt hehousewif
estart
erpack,"Il
ookedather
andthef earwasgone.

Lakhi
we:"I
'm nohousewif
e.I
'
m marri
edwit
hki
ds
butI'
m al
soastudent,
"shecl
appedhands.

Her
:"Goodf
oryou,
sweet
hear
t.Haveyourownshi
t
soyouwon' tdependonyourman.Whatdoyou
study?"shewal kedcloser.Acarhoot edbutshe
showedi tthemi ddlefi
nger."Wear enotforsale.
Can'tyouseewear eabunchofhousewi ves.Go
fuckyourownwi fe,
”sheshout edandt hecardr ove
off."
Don'twor r
y,it'
sreal
lyaf ake.Iwon'thurtyou.I
don'thurtotherwomenunl esstheyaskf orit
.So
whatwi l
lyoubesomeday? "

Lakhi
we:"Iwant
edtobeachar
tedaccount
antbutI
guessI'
l
lbesomethi
ngel
seint
hefinance
depar
tment,
"

Her:"
Whyar en'
tyoustudyi
ngtowardsthefi
eldof
yourdreams.Hubbytooupti
ghttobewi t
hawoman
whowi l
lmakebigbucks?"webothlaughed.

Lakhi
we:"
Iwasnotaccept
edf
ormyf i
rstchoi
ce.
I'
vewarmeduptomycourset
hough.Whatdoyou
do?”shel
aughed.
Her:"
LookwhatI '
m weari
ng,whereI'm st
anding
andthesleezethatj
usthootedforme.Don'tact
dumb.Itdoesnotsuityou,
".Ireal
lydidnotl
ookat
al
lthat
.Ireali
zedshewasanescor t
.Shelooked
somewhatl i
ketheoneinDur ban.

Lakhiwe:"
Awomanwear i
ngashor tdressand
standi
ngbythestr
eetwit
hsleezymenhoot i
ngat
herdoesnotal
waysequaltoaprosti
tute,
"she
l
aughedandclappedherhands.

Her
:"Whatel
secoul
ditmean?
"

Lakhiwe:"ForallIknowyouar eaCEOandyouar e
headingtothatcl ubtomeetyourotherfri
endst
o
dancet henightawayaf teraweekofclenchi
ng
dealsandgi vingmenhel lint
heboardr
oom.Iget
comment sfr om sleezymentoosoyouar enot
specialandnotal oneinthat,
”shel
aughed.
Her
:"Whatani
nter
est
ingday!WowmeaCEO?
”

Lakhiwe:"Whatdi
dyouwantt obe?Orareyoui
n
yourwantedproff
esion?"Iaskednotwanti
ngto
judgeher.Sheisbeauti
ful
.

Her
:”Ahotshotl
awyer
.No,
apr
osi
cut
orWai
t,a
j
udge,
”Il
aughed.

Lakhiwe:”Soli
keIdon'tknowwhereinfinanceI
wanttobe.Youdon' tknowwhereyouwantt obei n
l
aw, wehaveat hi
ngi ncommon.Isitenoughf or
youtogohavecof feewithmeatthatplaceover
ther
et osaythankyou?"

Her:"
Peoplewi
llst
areatyou.Youmightnotseea
prost
it
utebutt
heydo.Maybemycl i
entsareInther
e
too,
”
Lakhi
we:”
Wel
lFt
hem,
”shel
aughed.

Her:"
Fuck.I
t'
sokayt
osayi
t.Okaysincewehave
somethi
ngI'
m commonnow.Iwil
ltakethatcof
fee
andfood,
”

Lakhi
we:"
Deal
.Name?
”

Her
:"Bl
ueDi
amond.You?
”

Lakhi
we:”
BlackDi
amond,
”shel
aughedsomuch.

Blue:"
Ili
keyou.Aquickcoff
ee.Bl
ackDi
amond,
thankyoufortr
eat
ingmel i
keahumanbeing.I
thas
nothappenedinawhile,
"

Lakhi
we:”
Let
sgo.Wewi
llt
alkmor
einsi
de.I
fyour
cl
ient
sorpeopl est
arej
ustsay"YougetaF, youget
aFandever ybodygetaFyou,”
shelaughed.Sucha
beaut
ifulwoman.

Wewentt ot hecafeacr osst heroadandpeopl e

l
ookedatherl ikeshewasf il
th.Icouldseeshewas
notcomfortableatall.Idecidedt ogettakeaway
coff
eesandwewentt ositinthecarandat e.Wesat
andjokedforawhi le.Isensedshedi dnotwantt o
beaskeddeepst uf
fsoIdi dnotwantt oscareher
off
.

Bl
ue:"Sowon'
thubbybeupsett
hatwi
feyi
sout
l
ate?
"

Lakhiwe:"Hubbyisnotanupti
ghtman, "shenodded
whileeati
ng.Shelookedverymuchl i
ket hatwoman
i
nDur banandt hatwomanlookedl i
keLul oand
ri
ghtnowwear elooki
ngforLul
ot hefir
stsoIhadt o
ask."Anychanceyouwer einotherplaces
recentl
y?"shelookedatme.Ihopeshewon' tcl
ose
up.

Blue:"
Yeahther
earethosespecial
occasionswhen
IgetbookedbyVIPcli
entssoyeahItravel
.Iwasin
Durbanawhileago.Whydon'tyoujudgeme? "

Lakhiwe:"Iwasnotal
waysthi
swell
puttogether
person.Ihavenori
ghttoj
udge.Sowher
ear eyou
fr
om? "

Bl
ue:
"Fr
om al
loverr
eal
ly.Weneverset
tl
ed.You?
"

Lakhi
we:"Queenstownbutranfrom homewitha
mani nmylateteens.Wegeti
ntosituat
ionsandwe
l
earnfrom t
hose.Igotoutofminesoanyonecan
too,
"

Bl
ue:
"Notal
lofus,
"shel
ookeddown."Anywayhow
ol
dareyout
ohavefourbabyseat
sbehindus?"I
l
aughedandtol
dherabouttheboysandaskedher
age."
Inmyli
neofworkIcan'tsaymyage.You'
re
beaut
if
ul,
"

Lakhi
we:"
Soareyou,Bl
ue,
"wesmil
ed."Soareyou
heref
oraVIPcl
ient
?Whenareyoul
eaving?
"

Blue:
"Pl
ease,BlackDiamondwear enotandcan
notbefr
iends"shelookedoutthewindowandsaw
acarparkedwher eImether."
Ihavetogo"she
l
ookedatme.

Lakhi we:"
Wai tbeforeyougo.Sinceyouar ewell
traveledIthoughtyoumi ghthelpmef i
ndsomeone.
It
'sababypi ct
ur ebutsomepeopl eneverchange.
Her eisapaperIpr i
ntedherpi
ctureon"Ireached
formybagatt hebackandgavehert hepaperI
printedLulu'
spi ctur
eon.Shedi dn'
tlookatit
.She
j
ustputi ti
nherbagi nar ush.
Blue:
"Iwil
llookatitwhenI'
m al
one,
okay.Thank
youforthecompany.Inanotherwor
ldwewould
havefor
medaf r
iendshi
p,"

Lakhi
we:"Mynumberisatthebackofthepict
ure.I
f
youarehereonanot
herVIPt r
ip,
callme.Myname
i
sLakhiwebytheway,"shelaughed.

Blue:
"Bye,Lalaandbesafeplease.Tel
lhubby
aboutthecreep.Thanksagai
n,"shehel
dmyhand
andopenedt hedoor.Ist
oppedher.

Lakhi
we:"If
iguret
hati
syourbossandhehasseen
youinacarsoheexpectsmoneyforyourt
ime.
HereisR600.Ihopei
t'
senough,
"

Blue:
"Thankyousomuch.Yougavememoneyfor
twocli
entsandIhadt
ogettwocli
ent
sfort
heday
tobedone.NowIcangostrai
ghtt
obedandsl
eep.
Thankyou,"
Ijustsmi l
edandnodded.Iwat chedt heol dugl y
mangetoutoft hecar .Igott hecr eepssuddenl y.
Suchanol dmanpi mpi ngoutgi rls.Idr ovehome
thinkingofexcusest ogi veLiyemaonwhatIspent
thepet rolmoneyon.Hemi ghthaveanewbi gcli
ent
butwear estil
lonat ightbudget .Iwassur eashel l
notgoi ngt otellhimt hatIgavei ttoapr osti
tuteand
Iwassur eashel lnotgoi ngt ot ellhim onesati nour
car .AftertheDur bant ripheshowedmehowmuch
hegotdi sgustedbygi rlsinthesexi ndust r
y.Iwas
notgoi ngt otellhim Imett hegi rlwhomi ghtbebe
onewhoof f
eredusat hreesome.Hewi llwashour
carwi t
hbl eachaf t
ert hat.Bluemi ghtnotbeLul o
butshemi ghtknowLul onke.Howwi l
lIexpl ainthat
Ineedext ramoneyt obuypet rol?MaybeIcansay
Andi lemuggedmebuthewi llfindAndi leandal l
hellwi l
lbreakl oose.Whati st hecasewi ththis
Andi le?Iwi l
ltellLi
yemaabouthi mf orsur e.I
thoughtabouthowwei rditist hatapr ostit
utewas
ablet obesoci alwithmeyetst udent satvar sit
ycan
not .Wer eallyshouldnotj udgebooksbyt heircover.
Foral lIknowAndi lehadapl an.Hecoul dhave
kidnappedmewhenIgotoutt oconf ronthim but
gotscar edbyBl ue'sfakegun.Idr ovear oundbei ng
veryvi lil
entunt ilIgothomesaf el
y.If oundmy
babiespl ayingsol ateatni ght.Patmusthavegi ven
them sweet s.Ical l
edLi yemaandhesai dtheyar e
consi der inggoi ngt oSwazi land.Idon' tknowwhatI
thinkaboutt hatbutmaybet heyhaveapl an.Itold
him Il ostt hepet rolmoneyandhesai dhewi l
l
transf ermor el ater.Butmyhusbandt hough.I
expect edsomehar shwor dsbutno.Ipl ayedwi th
mybabi esunt i
lt heygott iredandf ellasleepont he
mati nt hel ounge.Ipi ckedt hem uponebyonet o
ther oom.Iwant edt hem nextt omet oni ghtsoIput
them i nourbed.Si sPatwentt obedt ooandI
chattedwi thLiyemawhi l
et heboyssnor edsosof t
ly,
i
t'scut e.Iwast hinkingaboutBl ueandherdr eam of
beingapr osicut orbutinsteadendedupont he
streetasapr ost it
ute.Lifecanbecr ueltosome.
Thati swhyInevert akewhatIcur rent l
yhavef or
grant ed.Iwentonmykneest oprayf ormyf ami l
y,
mysel fandal soi ncludedBl ueI '
mt hispr ayer.She
seemsl ikeadecentwoman.MayGodhel pherl i
ve
theli
feshehopesto.Ili
keherbutit'
ssadt hatIwil
l
neverseeheragai
n.I'
llkeepherinmypr ayers.God
neverfai
lsHischi
ldr
ennomat terthesi
tuation.I
'm
alivi
ngtest
imonyofthat.
[
03/
28,
17:
24]Lynne:FI
FTYTHREE

Bl
ue

It
'sbeent hr eeweekssi nceIleftCapeTownbutI
couldn'tstopt hinkingaboutt heladythatImetthat
day.Shemademef eelli
keIwassomeonei na
wor l
dt hatsawf il
thwhent heylookatme.Thef earI
feltwhenIsawherconf r
ontthatguymademet o
actbecauseIt houghthewant edtohij
ackheror
wor sekidnapher .Thet oygunwasusedwhenIsaw
acl i
entwhol ikedrol epl
ayingearli
ert
hatday.I'
m
gladthatj erkdi dnotseet hatitwasfakebecauseI
knowwhatsomemenar ecapableof.Icanwr i
tea
bookaboutt hehor rorsI'
veseenmendot owomen,
mysel fincluded.Bei ngasexwor kerputsmeat
mor eriskofvi olencef rom men.I '
vehadalifeno
womanshoul deverhavet olive.Sel l
ingmybodyi s
allIhavedoneandIsuspectIwi lldieapr osti
tute.
Dur i
ngthefi
rstyear
sIusedt ocrymysel ftosleep
butmyski nhasgottenthicker.Itookabat h
prepari
ngformynextclient.Ther ewasaknockon
thedoorandt heper
sonj ustletthemsel vesin.It
wasmyf at
herwhobyt hewayi sal somypi mp.

Mike:"
Hurr
yup,thi
scl
ienthat
eswai
ting.Hei
sa
cel
ebri
tysoyouhavet
obedescreet
,"hesai
dandI
rol
ledmyeyes.

Bl
ue:"I
'
mt hebestgi
rlyouhave.Youknowt
hatman
wi
llwaitonme.Iwil
lbedonenow.Getoutpl
ease,
"

Mike:"Youar
eclosetofor
tyyearssodr opthat
confi
dencebecausesoonIwillhavetoprovidefor
yousinceyouwon'tbr
inginanymoney.Dr opt he
confi
denceandgetthehel
loutoft hatbat
h,"he
order
ed.
Manypeopl ewoul dhavet heshockoft hei rli
ves
shoul dItellhimt hatmyf atherismypi mp.My
parent sareMi keandSophi e.Sophi erani ll
egal
boozeshopswher everwemovedt o.Mysi blings
andIwer eal lbor ninSwazi l
and.Ihadel even
sibli
ngsandal lofuswer egirl
s.Al otofpeopl eused
toaskourpar entswhyt heyhadsomanychi ldren.I
remembert heyusedt osayt heykeptt ryinghopi ng
tohaveaboy.It houghtwewer eanor malf ami l
y
untilmyt wool dersi st
erscamet omeoncebeggi ng
met orunawaywi t
ht hem.Idi dnotunder standwhy
theywant edmet orunf rom adecenthomewher e
ourpar entswer esoIdecl i
ned.Theywentahead
witht hei
rpl anandmanagedt or unawayf r om
homeonl yt obef ounddeadcl osetot heSout h
Africanboar deraf ewdaysl ater
.Iwasshat tered
becauseIdi dnotunder standmuchbackt hen.Igot
tounder standwhyt heyr anfrom homewhenI
turned16.Sophi easkedmet odoal i
ttl
e" favour "for
oneofhershebeencust omer s.Thatwast hef i
rst
ti
meIt ouchedaman' smanhood.WhenIt urned17
theyhadmehavef ullsexualexper ienceswi thone
ortwomenaweek.I tmessedmeupsomucht hatI
keptfaili
ngatschoolwhi chr esul tedi nt hem havi ng
topullmeoutofschool .Ir ealizedt hatwewer eno
normalf ami l
ywhenIl earnedt hatot herpar ent sdid
notaskt heirchi l
dr ent osel lthei rbodi es.Ial so
decidedt otryandr unawayf rom home.Sophi e
foundmebef oreIevenl efttheyar d.It hengott ol
d
aboutwhatwoul dhappent omeshoul dItryi tagain.
Shei nsomanywor dst oldmet hatIwoul dbef ound
deadj ustli
kemysi stersandt hatwaswhenI
real
izedt hattheyhaveeyesandear sever ywher e.
Theonl ypeopl ewhoknewaboutmyl at esist ers
escapewasmeandIt oldnoone.Ist ayedi nf ear
anddi dmypar tfort heirdi r
tybusi ness.If ear edf or
myyoungersi stersast heygotol der .Iwant edt o
protectthem butIcoul dn' tprot ectmysel f
.Oneby
oneweal lgoti ntroducedt othesexi ndust ry.No
oneevert r
iedt orunbecausebyt hatt imewehadal l
heardwhathappensshoul dwer un.Myyounger
sist
er,theonewhocomesaf terme, mybestf riend
couldnott akei t.Shecommi tedsui cideaf ew
mont hsin.Thatwasal ossIhaveneverbeenabl e
togetover .Itcrushedmeandmyot hersi sters.
Sophi edi edi naf ir
ewhenIwasi nmymi dt eens.
Shewasmymot herbutIf eltnot hing.Inf actIwas
happyt hatshepar ishesi nthatf i
rebut
unf ortunat elythef ireclaimedt hel i
vesoft woofmy
youngersi sterst oo.Onceagai nmyhear tgot
crushedbyt helosses.Mysi st ersandhavewent
throught hemostt oget her .Mi kebecameacr uel
bast ardaf terhi swi fedi ed.Hegotnewst hatt he
pol i
cewer eonhi stracks.Ournewnei ghbor s
alertedt hepol i
ceaf terseei ngdi f
ferentmenl eave
ourhouseonadai lybasi s.Mi kedeci dedt hatit
woul dbebestt omoveandt hatwashowwel anded
i
nSout hAf r
ica.Thi ngswor kedoutgoodf orhim.He
startedanel it
eescor ti
ngbusi nessandmysel fand
sixofmysi sterswer ehi sescor tdfort hef i
rstfew
mont hsbutbusi nesssoonpi ckedupandot hergirl
s
joinedus.Noonei nt hebusi nessknowst hatMi ke
i
sourbi ologicalf atherbecausewest oppedcal li
ng
him Dadandcal lhim byhi snameeveni npr i
vate.
I'
m sur emostwoul daskwhyweneverr anwhenwe
arrivedi nSout hAf ricabutt hef earofdeat his
cripplingmysi stersandI .Wear eacl osebunchand
nothi
ngcouldseparateus, nothi
ng.Wehaveeach
other
'sbacksal
lthetime.I'm surpr
isedt hatnonof
ushaven'tbr
okenapar tt
hough.Iguessweno
l
ongercrybecauseourski nshavet hickened.Our
namesar eourf
avour i
tecolorandDi amondatt he
back.Wehaver ealnamesbutwedon' tusethem.
Theywoul dmakeussoundbor i
ngandi nour
i
ndustrybori
ngdoesnotsel l
.

Mysi ster
,Cathy, ImeanPurpleDiamondwalkedi
n.
Shewentst raighttothecornerofther
oom where
thestrongdrinkswer e.Shepouredtwogl
assesof
whiskeyanddr ankthem cl
ean.Iassumeshehada
dif
fi
cultcli
ent.

Blue:"Sowhatwashi
srequest
?"Iaskedwhi
le
putti
ngmyweaveon.

Cathy:"
Todoi tont
hebal
conyonthe10thfl
oor
wit
hmehangi ngovert
hedamnthi
ng.Thatbastar
d
nearl
ydroppedmetomydeath,
Blue"shest
artedto
cr
yanddr
inkmor
e.

Blue:
"I'
m sor
ry,myhoney.Iwillt
ellMi
keyouar
e
doneforthenight
,"Ihuggedher.

Cathy:"Whydoourownpar entsmakeusdothis,
Blue.Didtheyhaveussotheycoul
dsellusaslike
wear epiecesofmeat?Whatifwewereboys?
Woul dtheyhavedoneitt
oo?Ican'
tgoonanyone.I
can't
,"shebrokedown.

Bl
ue:
"IknowbutI
'
m wor
kingonapl
ant
ofr
eeus.
..
,"

Cathy:"Soyouhavebeensayi ngforyears.Iwi
ll
alsokil
lmyself
,"shecriedmoreandmyhear twas
i
npi ecesbutIcouldn'
tcry.I
'
mt heoldestamongst
them soIhavetost aystr
ongforthem

Bl
ue:
"Iti
snotaseasyasIt
hought
.Thel
astt
hingI
wanti
sforourbodi
est
obef
oundi
nsomedi
tch,
"

Cathy:"Maybet
hatisbest.Anythi
ngisbett
erthan
thi
s.Deathsoundskinderthanthi
s,
"Mikeopened
thedoorandwebothpul loursel
vest
ogether.He
hateditwhenwecried.

Mi ke:"
Dammi tBlue,Iwil
lnotcallyouagain.Donot
makemeangr y.Iwoul dhatetobreakoneofyour
damnr i
bsagain,
"heshout ed."Andthen,whatisthe
casewi tht
hisone? "hepointedatCathy.Iwalkedto
thedoorquicklysohewoul dn'
thavetoseeherf ace.
Iledhim outsi
det heroom sayingI'
mr eadytoleave.

Wedr ovetoani ceplacei nMosselbay.Hegaveme

theroom numberofmycl i
entandIwenti n.I
nall
theyearsofdoi ngthis,Ist
il
lgetafrai
dbefore
meetingaclientbecauseIdonotknowwhati s
waiti
ngformeont heothersideofthedoor.Cat
hy
almostwentt enstoriesdownbecauseofher
cli
ent'
scrazyr equest.Wecan' tsaynoeit
her
becauset heyhavepai dforourt ime, t
heyownus
forthehour stheybookedus.Onl yCat hyandIar e
i
nMossel bay, theot her sar einMi ke'sf r
iends
brothel.Mikehasl oyalwor ker swhomakesur ewe
getdeliveredt othecl i
entshoul dhenotbeabl et o.I
knockedonmycl ientsdoor .Agoodl ookingyoung
manopenedwhi lelickinghi sl i
ps.Ihadt oputwhoI
trul
yam asi deandbeBl ueDi amond.Iopenedmy
coattor evealt heski mpyout fitsIhadon.Hemoved
asideandl etmei n.Iaskedhi m whyIwast here.I
expectedsomecr azydemandbuthesai df ornow
wecoul dchi l
landdr i
nkbutIhadt odr opt hecoat
compl etel
ywhi chIdi d.Ir ecogni zedhi mf rom one
ofthemusi cshows, hewasal ocalrapper .Hewent
onaboutt hemoneyhehad.Hedi dsomecocai ne
anddr ankatt hesamet ime.Soonhi shourwasover
andMi keknockedont hedoor .Mycl ientgaveMi ke
moneyf oranot herhour .Itseemedhewant edhis
money' swor t
hont hesecondhourbecausehe
orderedmet otakeof fmydr ess.Idi dandhel ooked
atmybody.Atf i
rstIusedt of eeldi r
tybutnotso
muchanymor e.Wewentt othebedandt hings
start
edt oheatupbutf ortunat elytheguypassed
outbef oreanyt hi ngcoul dhappen.Hewasst il
l
breathing.Iguesst heal coholwast oomuchf orhim.
Iputmydr essandmycoatbackonwai t
ingf ort he
ti
mehebookedmet opass.Ther ear ecli
ent swho
wantnosexualf avour sbutj ustwantt otal k.Those
aremyf avour iteandal sot hosewhogetdr unkunt il
theypassoutbef oreanyt hi
nghappens, l
ikemy
fri
endwhoi spassedout .Mi kedoesnotcar eifwe
sleepwi tht hesepeopl eornot .Asl ongashi s
moneyi snotshor t
.Wedon' tgetanyt hingf rom t he
feeswemake.Hef ear swewi llsaveandr un.He
sayspr ovi dingf orusi senough.Ical l
edCat hyand
shesai dshei sf i
neandwi l
lwai tformeunt i
lI'
m
back.It hencheckedmybagf orl i
pst i
ck.Ismal l
foldedpaperf ellout .Icheckedi tandi thada
numberandt henameLakhi wewr it
tenoni t.Ithen
remember edit '
st hel adyf rom CapeTown.Ismi led
whenIt houghtofher .Thel asttimeIusedt hebag
wasont hatdaysoInevergott ol ookatt hepi ct
ure
ofhermi ssingl ovedone.Iopenedt hepaperand
l
ookedatt hebl ur rypi cturebutcoul dn'tsee.The
l
ightint hebat hr oom wasbet t
ersoIwentwi thit
there.Ipr omi sedherI 'dlookati tandaf t
ert heway
shet reatedmeIowehert hat.Ihel dt hepictureup
tot helightandi twasacut ebabygi r l
.Thereisno
wayIcanknowher .Iwasaboutt ofol dthepicture
whenIsawsomet hing.Ihel ditupt ot heli
ghtagai n
andr eali
zedt hechi l
dhadabl ackmar kunderher
l
ef tfoot.Myhear tst ar
tedt obeatf asterbecauseI
haveasi mi laroneont hesamespot .Weneverhad
anybabypi ct uressoIdonotknowwhatIl ooked
l
ikeasababy.Thechi lddoesl ooksomewhatl ike
me.Thel i
ghtski n, t
hebi geyesandmyt opli
pis
biggert hanmybot tom oneandi tseemst hischild
ont hepi ctur ehast hesamel i
ps.Ial wayshat edmy
l
ipsbecausemostpeopl ehaveasmal lupperlip
andabi ggerbot tom one.Mi nel ooksl i
keplasti
c
sur gerygonewr ong.SoonMi keknockedont he
door .Icoul dn' tl
eavewi thhi m, notnow.Isear ched
i
nmycl ient'swal letandf oundenoughf oranot her
hour .Ijustst uckmyar m outt hedoort ogivethe
money.Iwal kedt ot hebat hroom wi thmybagand
l
ockedi t.Ihopedmycl ientwoul dbeoutf oranother
hour .Icheckedt hebackf orLakhi we' snumber .I
tookmyphoneoutr eadyt ocal lbutgott ooafraid.I
mi ghtbeput ti
ngherl i
feindanger .Isatont heseat
andcr iedmyeyesout .Ifi
t'smeont hepi cturethen
thatwoul dmeanSophi eandMi kewer enotmyr eal
parents.Itwoul dexpl ainal ot.Coul di tbepossi ble
thatnonofusar et heirs?Imeannonofusgot
specialtreatment .Wewer eal lforcedbyt hreat sto
beprost it
utes.Hadsomebeent heirsbi ol
ogicallyI
i
magi net heywoul dhavegot tenspeci altreatment .
Ifwear enott heirst henwher edi dtheygetus?
Comet othinkofi tnonofusl ookal ike, no
resembl anceatal l.Weneverhadext endedf ami l
y.
SophieandMi keonl ywant edust osayMom and
Dadi npubl ic.IfI'mt hegi rlinthepi ctur ethanhow
didIendupwi thSophi eandMi ke.Ormaybet hey
aremybi ologicalpar entsandt hepeopl elookingf or
mear et heirext endedf ami l
y.Maybet hosepeopl e
onlyhaveonepi cturet heonei nmyhandand
hopedMi keandSophi ewoul dseeandr eturnhome.
Mymi ndwasf il
ledwi t
hsomanyquest ionsandI
hadnoanswert oanyoft hem.Iwassoconf used
andIknewt heonl ywayt oknowwhati shappeni ng
i
sbycal li
ngt heCapeTownl adybutI 'm afraidof
whatMi kemi ghtdot oher .I'
m alreadywor r
ied
aboutmyyoungersi sterslives,Ican' twor ryabout
herstoo.Imusthavecriedthehourawaybecause
Mikeknockedagainorhei sst ealingthecl
ient
's
ti
me.Icouldnotaskhi m anything.Icouldn'
taskifI
washi sdaught
er.Ineverquest ionedmypat er
nity
becauseIjustt
houghtIhavesi ck, t
wist
edparents
whoonl ysawusasmeanst omakemoney.

Mike:"
Musthavebeenthr
eehecti
chour
s.Youl
ook
l
ikeshi
t,
"hesai
dwhiledri
ving.

Blue:
"Don'
tactli
keyoudon'tknowwhatt
hesemen
askofus,Mike,
"Isai
dsoft
ly.

Mi ke:"IfIdidn'thaveyouguysdot hi
s.Wewoul d
endupont hest reets.Icaretoomucht oall
owt hat
.
Iwasgi vendaught erssoIsawanoppor t
unity.Not
l
ikeIevert ouchedanyofyou, "hesai d.Thesick
thingi sthatapar tofmebel ieveshi m.It'
ssaidthat
kidsr aisedbysi ckpsychot icpar entswhoabuses
them neverst oplovingt hei
rpar ents,theyst
op
l
ovi ngt hemsel vesandi t'
struebutIal sohatedhim.
Hadhenothadguar
dsar
oundhi
m,I
'
dhaveki
ll
ed
hi
m al
ongtimeago.

Blue:"
Whatever.I'
m donefort
henightandsois
Cathy.Youcanbeatt hehel
loutofme,Idon'
tcar
e.
Leaveheralone,hercli
entwasmorediff
icul
t
toni
ght,
"

Mike:"
Wel lyourcli
entoverpaidforthel
asthour
.I'
m
happysodoasyoupl ease.Tomorrowwear egoi
ng
toDurban.Thecl i
entsthereloveyou.Youmightbe
oldbuttheyloveyou,"

Ilethimt al
kal one.Iwasj ustgladthatwewi llhave
therestoftheni ghtof f
.IfIaskMi ke,hewi l
lbe
suspiciousandsear chme.Hewi l
lfi
ndthepi ct
ure,
reali
zeitmi ghtbemeandwemi ghtgotoanot her
partoft hecont i
nentagain.Ihaveaf eel
ingthathe
doesnotwantt obef ound,notevenbyhi sown
family.I'
m sti
llafrai
dt ocallLakhiwe.Mikechecked
ourphonesatni ght.IsuspectheevenhasanI T
guytocheckourdel etedmessagesandcal ldetails.
Wedr ovebackt ot hepl acewewer est ayingat .I
j
ustwant edt otakeashowerandhol dmysi sterfor
thenight .Mi kehadbodyguar dssoheknewwe
wouldn' trun.Hegotusahouset or entforourst ay
i
nt het ownshi p.Iwentt oourr oom andCat hywas
notther e.I'm sureshei stakingashower .Ideci ded
towai tforhert ocomeout .Theguar dsai dshehad
beent her eforawhi lewhi chwast ypicalCat hy.She
sti
llt
riest owasht hedi rtofherski nbyt aki ngext ra
hotshower sbutifonl ysheknewt hatdoesnothel p.
Ourski nsgetcl eanbuti nsidewer emai nf eeli
ng
dir
ty.Noshowercant akeawayt hatfeel i
ng.Iput
thepictur einmybr af orsaf ekeepi ng.Ical l
edmy
othersi bli
ngsandt heyar eal lokay.Iwentt ot he
bathroom t ocheckonCat .WhenIopenedt hedoorI
foundmyyoungsi sterf ullycl othedi nabat htub
fi
ll
edwi thredwat er,itwasherbl ood.Iscr eamed
l
ikeamadwomanwhi lecr ying.Iwentt ohert ot r
y
andt akeheroutoft hebat hbutshewasnotmovi ng.
Mikeandt heguar dcamet ot hebat hroom andt hey
wantedust oleaveher .Ithreat enedt oscr eam my
l
ungsouti ftheydon' ttakehert ohospi talandt he
nei ghbor swi l
lheari t.Theydi dnott akeany
chances.Imi ghtbeol dert hant heot hergi r
lsbutI
hadl oyalcl i
entswhopai dbi gmoneyf ormyt ime
soMi kewoul dnotr iskl osi ngme.Theypi ckedher
upandputheri nt hecar .Wedr ovet ohospi t
albut
Mi kesai dwewoul dl eaveheratt hedoor .Ionce
agai nmadet hreat st oscr eam anddi dnotcar eif
theyki ll
edme.Heor der edt heguar dtoputCat
out sidet hedoorandIscr eam unt i
lhelpcomesout .
Theysai dtheywi llst andatt heent rancesoI
woul dn'tescapebutIdi dn' tcare.Catwast akenout
oft hecarandIcal ledoutf orhel p.Thecardr oveof f
topar kelsewher ebutt heguar dlurkedcl ose.A
Por tercamewi thawheel chai randwheel edCati n.
Soont hehospi talst affat tendedt oher .Iwasa
messandt heguar dmadesur eIsawhi m close.I
satf oral ongwhi leandanur secameoutt ogive
hercondol ences.Catdi dnotdi eduet ohercut t
ing
herwr i
sts.Shedr ownedt odeat hwhenshel ost
consci ousnessduet olossofbl ood.Il ostanot her
sister .Ididnotevencr ybutaskedt oseeher .They
allowedmeandonceagai nt hatjer kmadesur eI
knewhewasar ound.Iwenti ntot hehospi t
alroom
wher eCatl aidl ifeless.Il ookedatherbeaut iful
smal lfaceandcr i
ed.Theycover edherwi t
hagr een
sheet .Icheckedherwr istsandsawt hedeepcut s
ont hem.Ist artedt oshakebecauseBongi ,my
sisterwhocommi t t
edsui cidewasf oundbyme.
Shehungi nourbedr oom r oofwhenIf oundher .
Seei ngCatl iket hisbr oughtbackal lthose
memor i
es.Icoul dn' ttakeit,Itoowant edtodi e.I
criedandcr iedunt i
lIhadnomor et earsl
eft.A
nur secamei nwant i
ngCat '
sdet ailsandsayi ngt he
pol i
cear eher et oquest i
onme.Iwentoutandsaw
Mi ke'sguar dpr et endi ngtor eadamegazi ne.I twas
af emal edet ectivet hatcamet oquest i
onmeand
shewasat tent i
vet houghIknowsheknewI 'ma
prost itute.Shet ookmet oanot herr oom.Icoul dsee
theguar dpani candhesi gnal l
edt hathewoul dsl i
t
myt hr oatifIt alked.Idi dn'tcare.If el
tdeadal ready.
IknewIwoul dendupl i
kemysi sterssomedayi n
thisl i
f ewear elivi nganydaycoul dbeourl ast .We
coul dei thergetki lledbyacl i
entorangerMi ket oa
poi ntofhi m ki ll
ingus.I 'm sureMi keandSophi e
hadsomepsychol ogalsi ckness.I 'm notapar ent
butIwoul dn'tdosucht omyki ds.I twouldhave
beenbetterforSophi
etoabor tusthangiveusl
if
e
onlytoraiseustobeprostit
utesandkil
lthosewho
defythem.Unlesswer eall
yarenotthei
rs.Iwal
ked
totheprivater
oom wit
ht hecoplady.Sheaskedme
questi
onsbutIkeptquiet.

Bl
ue:"Gi
vemeyourphone,
soIcanmakeacal
lthen
I
'l
lanswer,
"Isai
d.

Cop:"Youar ei
nnoposit
iontomakespecial
demands.Wehaveopenedamur dercasefort
hat
gi
rl.Isuspecti
twasnotsuici
deandri
ghtnowyou
areourmai nandonl
ysuspect,
"

Blue: "
I'
m smallfi
shcompar edtothesharkIwantto
giveyou.Iwoul dn'
tkil
lmyownsi ster,myown
blood.Phonecal lorIkeepquiet
.Jailisabet
ter
alternat
ivethantheplaceIwil
lbefor cedt
oretur
n
to,"shelookedatmef oralongwhi l
e.
Shetookoutherphoneandpl aceditonthebed.I
tooki
tandtookLakhiwe'
snumberf rom mybra.It
waslatebutIhadtotr
y.Iknowmar r
iedpeopl
e
hardl
yansweratnight
.Idial
edt henumberandit
rang.

Lakhiwe:"
Hel
lo,
"sheansweredinasl
eepyvoice.I
wassohappyt ohearhervoi
ce."
Hel
lo,anyone
ther
e?"sheasked.

Blue:
"Bl
ackDi
amondi t'
sme,"Iknewshewoul
d
knowwhoIam ifIcal
ledherthat
.

Lakhi
we:"Hey,
Blue.Youi
ntown?
"Icoul
dhearshe
i
ssmi l
ing.

Bl
ue:
"Canyout
alk?
"

Lakhi
we:"
I'
m st
udyi
ngbutyeahIcan.What
'sup?
I
'
m sohappyt
ohearf
rom you,
"Iact
ual
lysmi
led.

Blue:
"Pleasetellmeaboutt
hegi
rli
nthepi
ctur
e,"I
gotstr
aighttothepoi
nt.

Lakhiwe:"Uhm Wowokay. .
.Shei
smyhusband's
oldersi
ster.
..
,"shetol
dmet heent
ir
estoryandI
l
istenedwhilecryi
ng.Ithi
nkI'
m whotheyare
l
ookingfor.

Itol
dherthatIt
hinkI'm her.Shetol
dmet owaitso
shecouldgotel
lmybr other.Justhear
ingImight
haveabrotheri
sstrange.Icouldhearherspeakin
ri
ddleswhil
eexplai
ningtoherhusband.Hebegged
hertosl
owdownbutshef ail
ed.Hefi
nall
ytookthe
phoneandaskedwhoIam.

Blue:
"It
hinkI'm whoyouar el
ookingforandIneed
yourhel
p.I'
mi naverystickysi
tuati
onandIneed
yourhel
p,"Isaidwhil
ecrying.
Li
yema:"Uhm...
okaygi
vemeyourdetai
lsqui
ckl
y.
Wewillbether
eassoonaswecan,"hespoke
qui
ckl
y.

Igavet hecopt hephoneandt oldhertot el

lhim
wher eIam.Theysai dtheyar ecomi ng.Af t
erendi ng
thecallIt oldt hecopIwi l
lneedpr ot
ectionunt i
lthey
comeandsheagr eedoncondi t
ionIgivehert hebi g
fi
shIpr omi sedher .Ifi
rsttoldherwher emysi st
ers
saidtheywer e.Shemadecal lsandsai dshesent
ment or aidt hebr othel
.It oldherwhatcarMi keis
drivi
ngandgaveheradescr ipti
onofhi m.Ial sotold
heraboutt heguar doutside.Shemadeacal lbutI
didn'
tlistent owhatshewassayi ng.Icouldn'tget
ri
doft hei mageofCatandt hatdoghast opayi fhe
kil
ledher .Sheendedt hecal landsai dshehas
madear rangement stocat cht hem.IknewMi ke
wouldn'tjustl ett hisslideandgot ojai
l.Herphone
rangandshegotnewst hattheguar dout sidewas
caught.Mi kegotawaybutshesai dshehadr oad
blockssohewi llnotbeabl etoski ptown.Wesat
ther ef oranhourorsoandIgotnewst hatMi kewas
arrest ed.Alsot hatt hebr othelwasr aidedwher emy
sisterswor ked.Theyar restedsomeoft hegi r
lsand
guar dst hatwer et herebutt heguar dsf irstputupa
fi
ghtbyshoot ingatpol icesosomeoft hem di ed
andsodi dt hreeoft hegi rl
s.Icr iedbecauseI
thoughtmysi sterscoul dbeoneoft hem.CatandI
wer et heonl yoneswhot ravelledt omeetcl i
entsi n
differentt ownsamongstussi ster s.Theot hers
wer e" keptsaf e"atabr othelinPor tEl i
zabet hand
Mi kegavei t'sownercommi ssionont hemoneyt he
girlsbr oughti n.Wear eobj ectst ohi m, ourown
father .Hecoul dn'thaveabr othelbecausehe
fear edbei ngcommi tt
edt oonepl ace.CatandIand
theot hergirlswer ebookedonaphonecal lbasis.
Atl eastheal lowedust ocal loursi sterswhenwe
coul d.Thecopt ookmet othepol icest ationwher eI
gaveheraf ullstatementofwhatIknowabout
Mi ke'soper at i
ons.Shepr omi sedmeIwi llbesafe
i
nsi debutIknewMi kecoul dr eachmeanywher e.I
j
usthopehewi l
lkillmeonl yaf terI '
vemetLakhi we's
fami ly.IfI'
mt hebaby, Iwantt ol ookatt hem ast hey
expl ainhowIendedupwi thMi keandSophi e.I
wantt odi
eknowingwhoIreall
yam becauseI
knowIwi l
ldiesoonandIdonotcare,notanymor
e.
IjustwanttoknowifI
'mreal
lyLulamaornot.Iwant
todiehavi
ngknownmyi denti
ty.Idonotwanttodie
asBl ueDi
amond.
[
03/
28,
17:
26]Lynne:FI
FTYFOUR

MRSE

WhenLi yemawokemeupt otel

lmet hathegota
callthatmi ghtleadustoLul onkeIf el
tbothanxious
andexci ted.Liyemadidnotsaymuchmor ebutI
couldsensehewasnott ell
ingmet heentir
est or
y.
Couldsheper hapshavedi ed?Hebookedaf l
ight
forthet woofust ogotoGeor geandf r
om therewe
willhir
eacaranddr i
vetoMossel bay.Something
tel
lsmet hatwear eont her i
ghttrackthi
stime.
Dur i
ngt hethreeweeksear chwewer eunsuccessful
.
Itwasi fnooneLul oknewwat chedTVorused
socialmedi a.Lungishowedmehowmanypeopl e
sharedhi spostandt hepi ctur
ebutnonknewher .
Somecal ledaski ngwhatt heywi l
lgetasr ewar d
shouldt heyt elluswher eshei sbutweknewt hose
werechancet akers.I thasbeent hr eeweeksof
uncertaintyandhel l.Ml uhasbeencal l
ingoncea
weekandIt oldhim wear elookingf orourdaught er.
Hedi dnotseem t ookeenonhel pingbuthegaveus
hiswellwi shes.Ican' tbelievehei sst i
llupset
becauseIdi dnotl istent ohim whenhet oldmet o
havetheabor t
ion.Li yemaandIar rivedi n
Mossel bayatabout6am i nt hemor ning.Wewer e
bothtiredf rom theendl esssear chi nganddead
ends.Whenwear r
ivedwedr ovest raightt othe
poli
cest ationwer etheDet ecti
vesai dwewoul dfi
nd
her.Shesai dwemustaskf orDet ect i
veHanaseand
nooneel se.Shesai dshewi l
lmakesur eshei sat
thestationwhenwear ri
ve.Thatmademeso
scared.WasLul of ounddead?Whydi r
ectust oa
poli
cest ationorcoul dshebeacr imi nal?Ifeltmy
heartfeelmor epai nedbecausehadmyuncl enot
takenmybabyshewoul dnotbei nt hissituati
on,
whateversi tuat i
onshei sint hatis.Sheper haps
wouldhavebeenayoungpr ofessi onalwi thaf amil
y
ofherown.Wewentt ot heconst abl ewhost ood
behindthecounterandtol
dhim whowear el
ooki
ng
for.Hetol
dushewasexpect ingusandledustoa
room deeperint
hepolicest
ation.Li
yemaandIsat
holdinghands.

Zol
a:“
Wherethehel
list
hiswoman?Whymakeus
si
tandwai
tforhert
hisl
ong?”Isai
dwhi
lel
ooki
ngat
mywatch.

Li
yema:“I
thasonl
ybeentenminut
es,Mma.Sheis
onherway,
”hesai
dsoftl
y.Hewastir
ed.Icoul
d
heari
nthewayhespoke.

Zola:“
Icannotwai tanylonger,
Ndoda.Iwantto
knowwhywear eher e.Whydidwegetcalledt
he
poli
cest at
iont
ocomegether e?.Whati
stheyfound
herkil
led?”Ist
art
edt ocry.

Li
yema:“I
fthatwerethecaset
hanIwouldnothave
spokent
oherlastnight
.Thewomanthatcal
ledi
s
al
ive.Idonotknowwhyshecal l
edfrom her
ebut
wewi l
lfi
ndoutsoon.Please,youwillmakeyour
sel
f
si
ckwi t
hwor r
yandrightnowIneedyouatyour
st
rongest.Wedonotknowt heconditi
onsheisi
n.
wemi ghthavetobestrongforher,
”hesaidand
ki
ssedmyhand.Iknewhewasr ight
.Awoman
walkedinandintr
oducedherasDet ecti
veHanase.
Fi
nallyshecame.

Zol
a:“
Det
ect
ivecanweseeher
?”

Hanase:“Youwillsoon,Mam.Ihavenotsl
epta
winktryi
ngtoprotecther
.Shetr
ustsnoonebutme
atthi
smoment .Lulamahasbeent hr
oughalot
,”

Li
yema:“Lul
ama?Wear
elooki
ngf
orLul
onke,
”he
l
ookedatme.

Zol
a:“Theymighthavechangedhername.When
youthi
nkaboutit
,LulamaandLulonkesoundabout
t
hesame.Whycan'
tweseehernow?
”

Hanase:“ Mam, ifshei syourdaught erthanshei s

i
nvol vedwi t
hdanger ouspeopl e.Mikehasbeen
want edbyt hepol iceforyear sforcasesi nvol ving
kidnappi ng,drugsandpr ostituti
on.I'
m shockedt hat
myt eam andIwer eablet ogetsuchadanger ous
manbuthedoesnotwor kal one.IfLulamai syour
daught ert henyoushoul dpr epareyour selff oralot.
Shehasbeent hrought hingsnowomanshoul d
havebeenf orcedi nto,”Icr i
ed.“ Shetoldmehow
Mi keandhi swi fegroomedherandhersi st erstobe
prostit
ut es.Shehasbeenf or cedtosellherbody
sincet heageof16andneverst oppedunt ilnow
thatwegotMi ke.Shehadt oseeheryoungersi ster
hangont hebul ksoft her oofwi thasheetar ound
herneck.Justl astnightshehadt owi t
nessanot her
ofhersi st
ersi nabat hf il
ledwi thwat erandbl ood,
shet oodi ed.Ifshei syourdaught erprepar e
yoursel ftomeetabr okenwoman.Ther eispl entyof
diffi
cultmoment sahead.I tseemsMi keandhi s
wifeandt heirfriendsst olethesegi rl
sf rom t heir
par
ent
sandt
raf
fi
ckedt
hem,
”

Icoul dnothearmor e.Icr i

edunt ilmynosebl ed
onceagai n.Theyhadnapki nsbr oughtf ormet o
blockt henose.Li yemawaswor ri
edsi ckandIcoul d
seei twei ghedhi m downsomuch.Theyhadt owait
formet ocol l
ectmysel f
.Ihear dLi yemaandIknow
weneededt obest rongf orLulobutIcoul dnothel p
i
t.Mychi l
dwasst olenonl ytobeasexwor kerwhen
Icoul dhavegi venheral i
feofsaf etyandsecur i
ty.I
fail
edasamot her.Icol lectedmysel fbecauset he
detectivesai dt hatshei sr eadyt ocal lLul
oi n.
Liyemar emai nedst rongandshednot ear.IwishI
wasasst rongashi m.Wesatf oral ongwhi l
eonce
againwai ti
ng.Thedet ectivereturnedwi thayoung
l
adywhowaswear ingal ongwhi tecoatandwas
barefoot .Iwant edt ocr yonceagai nbutIhadt o
stayst rong.It'sher,shehashergr andmot her'sli
ps.
Liyemal ookedatmeandsmi l
ed.It hinkhesawour
featuresonherf acet oo.Shej ustl ookedatus
withoutsayi ngawor d.Shehadnomakeuponand
herski ngl owed.Sheget st hatf r
om me.Herbi g
eyeswer eevenbi ggerasshel ookedatus.The
threeofusj uststoodl ookingateachot her.Shesat
downandsodi dwe.Onceagai nwej ustst aredat
herandsheatus.Icoul dnott akei tanymor e.I
wentundert het abl
e,gr abbedherl eftfoottocheck
forherbirthmar k.Shehadt hebi r
thmar kI
remember edherby.Shei smi ne.Iki ssedherf eet
severalti
meswhi l
ecr ying.Theywer ecol danddi r
ty
butIdidnotcar e.Ihadneverki ssedanyone' sf eet
before.Igotupandf oundherhandoverherf ace
withsoftsobbi ngcomi ngf rom her .Liyemast oodt o
got ohersi debutshej umpedupt omakedi stance
betweent het wooft hem.I '
m guessi ngaf t
erthel if
e
shel i
ved,shenol ongert rustedmen.It riedtoget
closerbutshewentf urtherintot hecor ner.Liyema
tookmyhandandt oldmet ogiveherspace.

Lul
o:“WhereisLakhiwe?”sheaskedwhil
elooki
ng
atHanase.Thedetecti
velookedatus.

Li
yema:“
Shehasani
mpor
tantt
estt
owr
it
etoday
soshecoul
dnotcome.I
'
m Liyema,herhusband.
Youspoket
omeoverthephonelastnight
,”

Lulo:
“Det
ect
ive,
Iwanther
.IwantLakhi
we.Idonot
tr
ustanyoft
hesepeopl
ebutIt
rustherpl
ease,
”

Zol
a:“
Liyema,
”Il
ookedathi
m.

Liyema:“Uhm okay..
.Icannott el
lherthatnow
becauseshei sgoingtowr i
teintwohour sandthis
testi
simpor t
ant.I
sitpossibleformet ocallaf
ter
thetestandbookaf li
ghtoutf orherassoonas
possibl
e?.It
'
sFr i
daysoIt hi
nkshewi l
lbeableto
makei t
,”hesaidsoftl
y.

Lul
o:“Iwi
llwai
tforher
.Pl
easet
akemebackt
omy
cel
l,
”

Zol
a:“
Cel
l?
”Iaskedt
hedet
ect
ive.
Det
etcvi
ve:“
Shei
saloneandsaf
e.Iwi
llnotgo,
I
pr
omiseshewil
lbesafe,
”

Zol
a:“
Pleasedon'
tgobacki
nLul
onke,
”Ipl
eased.

Lul
o:“
Pleaset
akemeback,
”shepl
eaded.

Shemadeeyecont actwit
hbot hLiyemaandIuntil
thedoorbehi
ndherclosed.Ifeltnumb.Liymeaand
Isatdown.Ifel
tsoempty.Ifeltresponsi
blef
ormy
chil
dhavinghadatoughlif
e.

Zol
a:“
Can'
tyoucal
l.
..
”

Liyema:“Mma,pleasedonotaskmet oaskLakhi we
tomi sshert
est
.Don'tyouthinkI'
m anxioustodo
that?Thisi
snoteasyonmeei t
herplease,”hesaid
i
nashaki ngvoi
ceandIr eal
izedthatIwasaski nga
l
otofhi m.Lakhi wehasbeenst udyingf orthistest
sincel astweekandi tisi mpor tant.Wesatand
wai ted.Nei t herofushashadanyf oodandIt hink
neitherofushaveanappet i
te.Thedet ect i
ve
returnedandIt oldherIwantt oseet hi
sMi ke
becauseIdonotr emembermyuncl egoi ngbyt hat
name.Shef irstdecl inedsayi ngt hathegotdeni ed
bailandwi llbet ransf erredtopr i
sonsoon.They
alsohopedMi kewoul dt urnst atewi tnessbutI
knewt hatwi lnothappen.I fhecoul dsel lhisown
niece' sdaught ert henhehasnoconsci ous.Ihadt o
begandpl ead.Shef i
nal lyagreedt ol etme.Li yema
want edt ocomewi thmebutIsai dIwi llbeokay.I
mi ghthavebeenaweakl i
ngwhenIsawLul obut
thisMi kewi l
lnotseet hat.Iwai tedandamanwas
broughti nandhi shandswer ehandcuf fed.Iwas
sixteenwhenIl astsawmyuncl e,Irememberhi m.
Hel ookedol dbuti tishi m.Theof f
icerdidnotal l
ow
uspr ivacyf ormysaf et y.HadIbeenl eftalonewi th
himi tsMi ke' ssaf et ytheywoul dhavehadt obe
concer nedaboutnotmi ne.Ikill
edsever alpoli
ce
i
nf ormant si nmyt ime.Toki l
lasi ckbast ar
dwi llfeel
l
ikeaj oyridet ome.
Mike:“Nunu?”,hesaidwi t
hasmi le.Heusedt ocall
met hatwhenIwasachi ld.Ir
eachedovert hetable
anddugmynai lsinhisskinandscr at
chedhim until
hebled.Theof f
icerheldmebackandsai ditwas
ti
mef ormet ogo.Mybast ar
duncl esai
ditwas
okay,Icanstay.Theof f
icerwarnedme.Il ooked
andmynai lsandi thadhisbloodont hem.Ialready
haveHI Vsoget t
inghisbloodonmewasnot hing.I
satdownacr ossf r
om him.Iwantedt otor
turehim
andthenpourpet rolonhim andwat chhim scream
andbur nt
odeat h.

Zol
a:“
Whydi
dyout
akeher
?”Il
ookedathi
m.

Mike:“
YoudidnotwantherandMakhul
uwas
st
ruggl
ing,
”

Zola:“
Donottalknonsense.Isenthermoneyby
postoffi
ceever
ychanceIcoul d.Ipr
ovi
dedformy
chi
ld!
”Ishout
ed.

Mike:“
Ohwast hatmoneyf r
om you?Shenevergot
i
tbecauseIcol
lecteditsoI'
m notlyi
ngwhenIsay
Khuluwasstr
uggli
ng,”hesaidquietl
y.Iwantedt
o
str
angl
ehimtodeat hbutthepoli
cewi l
ltakemeout
andIwanttoaskhi m morequesti
ons.

Zola:“
Youwi l
lbur
ninhell
,Phakamile.Yout
ookmy
chi
ldwithoutmypermissi
ontosellhersoyoucan
havemoney.Howsi ckcanyouget?”

Mike:“
Igaveherahomewhenyoul ef
thert
ost
arve.
Theyneverwenthungr
y,askher
.,
”

Zol
a:“
Iwi
llki
llyou,
”

Mike:“
Ohcomeon, Nunu.Youdon'
thaveaki
ll
er
boneinyou.Eveni
fyoudidki
llme.Doyour
eall
y
thi
nkI'
mt heheadoft hesnake?Doyout hinkIrun
thi
soperati
on?I'mjustapartofthesnake'sbody.
Evenifyoukil
lmesomeonewi llgett
othegi r
ls.I
f
youcangettotheheadandcr ushit,
onl
yt henwi l
l
yourbabybepr ot
ected.Goodluckinkil
li
ngmet oo,”
hesaidinawhisper.

Zola:“
Iwouldhavebeenaf ooltot
hinkyouweret
he
headoftheoperati
onbutifitt
akeskil
li
ngpar
tsof
thesnakesunti
lIgettocrushit
sheadthensobeit
.
Kil
lyouIwil
l,Ipr
omi se,
”

Hesmi ledandIl ookedathim.Isawat att

ooonhi s
wristofacapi t
alGandi thadast aronthebottom.I
haveseeni tbeforebutIcannotr ememberwher e.
OrcouldIhaveseeni tonhim yearsago?Buthedi d
nothavet att
oosbackt hen,novisibl
eones.Itold
thepoli
cet hatIam readytogobackt omyson.I
wil
lnoti nvol
veLiyemai nthedirt
ypartofthi
s.When
IgotoutIf oundLiyemahol di
ngf oodandcoffee.I
appreciateditbutIwasinnomoodt oeat.Itol
dhi m
Ineededt
imeal
oneandwentout
sideforsomeai
r.
MyphoneragandIknewi
twasMl u.

Zol
a:“Ifoundourchi
ld.Wear
einMossel
bayt
oget
her
,”Isaidwit
houtgr
eeti
nghi
m.

Ml
u:“
Wil
lyout
akeherhome?
”

Zola:“Whatpar
tofweareheretot
akeherdidyou
notget?Whereelsewoul
dItakeherbuthome,
”I
shouted.

Mlu:“
DoaDNATestf i
rst
.Thelastt
hingweneedi
s
t
hewr ongper
sonposeasher,
”

Zola:“Onl
ytheparentwhonevermetherwoul
dsay
so.Iknowher.Tel
l mewhatdoesatatt
ooofa
CapitalGandastarmean?,
”
Ml
u:“I
'm not
att
ooanal
yst
.Mostt
att
ooshaveno
meani
ng,”

Zola:“Dammi t,
Ml ungisi!Foroncejustbepr esentin
mat t
ersconcerningyourchi ldr
en.Ithinktheman
whoki dnappedLul oispar tofagangorsomet hi
ng.
Gangsl i
ket omarkt heirownsopl easejust...
You
knowwhat ?Nevermi nd.Iwi l
lcar
ryourchi ldren
andt hei
rissuesaloneasI '
vedonef oryears.Ihave
togo,”

Mlu:“Don'thangup,Zozopl ease.I'm sorry,I

'
mj ust
fr
ustratedbybeinghereandnotathome, ”hesai d.
Hehar dlyusedthosecommonwor dsthatmade
oneadecentper sonsuchaspl easeandsor rysoI
didnothangup.“ Uhm acapi t
alGwi thast ar
?I've
workedonmanygangr elatedcases, consult
anton
suchcasest ooandevenhadt or epresentsomeso
Ihaveseenaf ewmar kings.Acapi talG? ”he
soundedl i
kehewasdeepi nthought .
Zol
a:“
Wit
hast
aratt
hebot
tom,
”Iadded.

Ml
u:“
Idonotr
ecal
lsu.
..
wai
tist
heGbol
dornot
?”

Zol
a:“I
t'
snotbold.I
tlookedli
kei
tal
icf
ontandt
he
st
ariscol
oredred,adarkred,
”

Mlu:“Shi
t!”hesaid.“
IthinkIknowthegang,not
personal
lythough.Afriendofminewantedmy
opini
ononacasenotsol ongago.Heworkson
humant raff
icki
ngcasest obri
ngdownsuch
syndicat
es.Thesearedanger ouspeopl
e,Zol
a,”

Zol
a:“
Wher
ecanIgett
hisf
ri
endofyour
s?”

Mlu:“
Youar
ejustahouseexecut
ive.Ther
eisno
wayyouwil
lbeabl
etobri
ngdownsuchpower ful
peopl
e,”
Zola:“
Forourchild,Iwil
ldiet
ryi
ng.Shedeser
ves
thatmuch.IfIgetthisri
ghtIsavemoreyounggir
ls.
ButIwillneedthi
sf r
iend'
sdetai
lssoIcancont
act
him,”

Mlu:“
Icannotr
iskyoudyi
ngf
orachi
ldwenever
knew,
”

Zol
a:“
Youneverwantedhersowhyam Inot
sur
pri
sedt
ohearthatfr
om you.Iwi
llf
indt
hisman
wit
horwit
houtyourhel
p,”

Mlu:“
DavidCar
r,thati
shisname.Ihavet
ogoand
pl
easebecaref
ul.Iwil
lcal
lonourusualt
imenext
week.Beali
vewhenIdo,”hehungup.

Ii
mmediatel
ysearchedthenamebutdidnotget
muchofhim onl
ine.Atextcamethr
oughandithad
aphonenumberand“ becaref
ul”wr
it
tenonit
.I
cal
ledt
henumberandwhent heper
sonontheother
l
inesai d“ Davi dCar r
”Ial mostj umpedupanddown
l
ikeachi ld.I tseemsMl uwant smet ohelpourchil
d
afteral l.It oldMrCar rwhoIam andwhatIneeded
from hi m.Ihadhi sfullat t
entionbecausehe
appar entlyhadbeent ryi
ngf oral ongt imet opin
downt heper sonleadi ngthesext r
adi ngmyuncl e
wor ksfor .MrCar rsayshehasbr oughtdownmany
humant r
af fickingbossesbuthasbeen
unsuccessf ulwi ththeonef rom thisgangbecause
theyoper at ewi thcasinos, hotels,pol i
ceandeven
somehospi tals.Iaskedi fwecoul dmeetandl ucki
ly
hewasi nCapeTown.It oldhim Iwi llbebackas
soonasIcan.Ist il
lhaveal ongwayt ogobutat
l
eastt her ei spr ogress.Iwenti nandaskedabout
Mi ke'st ransf ert ojail
.Onewoul dbesur pr
isedwhat
peopl ewoul ddof ormoney.Ihadt omaket heti
me
whi lewewai tedf orLakhi wet ogether euseful
.I
coul dnotgett het i
mesofhi st i
mesandmeansof
transpor tationbutIdi dgetwhi chpr isonhewas
goi ngt o.Imadeacal ltomyf ri
endagai nandasked
himi fheknewpeopl eont heinsidet hereandby
l
uck, hedi d.Bot hMi keandhi sguardswi l
lbe
silencedbyl atertonight.Iknowki ll
inghi m wil
lnot
bringhisbosst omyf r
ontdoorbuti twi l
lgett he
l
eader '
sat t
ent ion.Whent woofhi smenhavebeen
kil
ledhewi l
lgooutandi nvestigat ebecauset he
kil
lingsareat hreattot hebusi ness, itbrings
attenti
ont oit.Ki l
li
ngMi keisl i
keusi nghi m asbai t
tolureoutt hebi gboss.Ihaveaf eelingMi kemade
him goodmoneysohewi l
lwantt ocomeoutand
fi
ndoutwhoki l
ledhi scashcow.Mywi shwast o
wat chMi kedi ebutIguessIwi llnothavet he
pleasure.Nousekeepi nghi m al ivewhenIknowhe
willnothelpt hecopsi nanyway.Hour swentby
andLi yemat oldmet hatLakhi wehasdonewr it
ing
andwi llbeonaf l
ightinanhour .Wewer eluckyt o
gethert henextavai lablef l
ightourofCapet own.
Liyemasai dweshoul ddr i
vet oGeor get ogomeet
heratt heairpor tbutIt oldhi m Iwi llstayj ustin
caseLul owant st oseeus.Heaskedmet oeat ,
kissedmycheek, askedt hedet ect i
vet olookaf ter
meandwentt oGeor ge.Isathopi ngt hatLul owi l
l
bebr oughtbackoutsoIcant alkt oheral one.I
needt oexpl ainmysel f.Idonotunder standwhyshe
want stoseeLakhi weandnothermot her .Lakhiwe
knowsnot hingaboutt hiscasebutwhatIhavet old
her
.Isathopi
ngt
hatshewillsomehowt
rustmeas
muchassheseemstotrustLakhi
we.

LAKHI
WE

WhenIswi t
chedmyphoneonaf terthever ydiff
icul
t
testIwr oteIsawt hatLiyemahadcal l
ed.Icalled
him back.Het ol
dmet hatIneedt ogot oMossel bay
becauseBl uer efusest ot al
kt oanyonebutme.I
wasshockedt osayt hel east .Li
yemasai dhe
arrangedf ort henannyt ostayt heweekendandhi s
auntwi l
lal
sost ayovert olookaf tertheboys.
Liyema' saunthasnochi ldrenandherhusbanddi ed
alongt i
meago, soshecoul dhel p.Istil
ldonotl i
ke
l
eavi ngmybabi esbehi ndbutIhadt ot r
yhel pBl ue
becauseLi yemasai dthesi tuat i
oni sbadbutdi dnot
goi ntodetail.Hepr omi sedt obeatt heairportwhen
Iarrive.Ipackedsomecl othesi nasmal lbag.
Makaziar r
ivedandsodi dsi sPat.Lucki l
yMakazi
candr i
vesoshewi l
lpickmybabi esupl ateron.I
waspl anni
ngt ot akethem t ot hepar kthisweekend
sinceIhavebeensobusywi t
hvar sitylatelybutwe
willhavet odoi tsomeot hert i
me.IgaveMakazi a
l
istofwhatt odoandwhatnotandshet oldmeshe
knewt heboyswel lsincetheyspendt heweekend
atherhousewhenwewentt oDur ban.Shewas
ri
ght ,
shedoes.Myt axiarri
vedwhi leIwaspacki ng
myshoesbutIhadt oleavet her estandgowi th
whatIhad.I 'm hopingt obebackbySunday.Imade
i
tont imef ormyf li
ghtandboar ded.Iwas
wonder ingwhyBl uewant edmewhenhermot her
andbr otherar etherewi thher .Thef li
ghtwasnot
l
ongatal l.I'
veneverbeent oGeor gebuthavehear d
theyhaveni cet r
aveldest i
nation, t
heGar denRout e
l
ooksbeaut i
fulont r
avelcat alogs.Wehavet ocome
whenmat tersaregood.If oundmyt allhandsome
manwai t
ingf ormel ookingexhaust ed.Ihugged
him andhehel donal i
tt
lelonger .Iguesst hingsare
bad.Iki ssedhi m andwemadeourwayt othecar .
Hegavemeanupdat eonBl uesayi nghernamei s
Lulama.Hesai dMmai sconvi ncedi tsherandt hat
shedoesl ookl i
kesomef ami lymember s.Iknew
that.Het oldmewhathappenedt oherandIwas
shattered, j
ustshat t
eredt othecor e.If eltweakand
numb.Ihaddi f fi
cult
yget t
ingoverabuse, stil
ldobut
Icannoti magi nehowdi ff
icultheal ingwi llbef or
Lulama.Iwoul dhavecommi t
tedsui cidemuchl i
ke
hersi sterst oo, wellIatt
empt edi toncebutf ailed
andt heirsituationwast enti
meswor se.Wegott o
Mossel bayi nl essthananhourf rom Geor ge.
Liyemawasdr ivi
ngabi ttoofast .Wedr ovet ot he
pol i
cest ationandLi yemahel dmyhandl eadi ngme
i
nsi de.If eltscar edforsomer eason.Mmacamet o
hugmewhenshesawus.Sheal sohel donabi t
l
onger .Mmawentt ot el
lthedet ect i
vet hatI '
ve
arrived.Thet hr eeofuswentt oar oom t hathada
tableandchai rswi thanof fi
ceratt hedoor .My
hear twasbeat ingabi ttoofast.Li yemaki ssedmy
forehead.It hinkheseesj usthowt erri
fiedIam
feeling.Thedoorf l
ungopenandt hedet ect i
ve
wal kedi nwi thBl ue,ImeanLul ama.Shescanned
thef acesi nf rontofherandwhenshesawmi ne
tearsf elldownhercheeksandsher ant ohugme.I
wr appedmyar msar oundhert oo.Icoul dseet he
paini nMma' seyes.Iguessapar tofherwi shes
thati tcouldbeherLul amar ant o.Iwoul dhadI
beenMma.Lul amai smucht allert hanmesoIhad
myar msar oundherwai st.Icouldnothelpbutcr y
too.Ifhergri
pwer etot ightenmor e,
shewoul d
crushmyshoul dersthatwashowshecl ungt ome.I
waitedforhertobet heonet obr eakthehug.She
l
ookedatmeandIwi pedhert ear soffwit
hmy
hands.Shel ookedbr oken, def
eat ed.Hertear
ssaid
i
t,hereyessai dit,
herf acesaidi tandherentire
bodyshowedt hatitcarriedabr okenwoman.

Bl
ue:
“Hi
,
”shesai
dsof
tl
y.Ismi
led.

Lakhi
we:“Hi
,”Ilookedather
.Shewaswi t
houtmake
up.Shehadal otofmakeuponwhenImetherand
shewashidingsuchabeautifulf
aceunder
neat
h
thatmakeup.

Blue:
“Thankyouforcoming.Howwasthetest
?”
sheasked.I
sthi
swomanser i
ous?Shei
sinthi
s
si
tuati
onbuthasti
met oaskaboutmytest
?.
Lakhi
we:“It
hinkIgotatl
east50%,
enought
opass,
”
webothlaughedsoft
ly.

Mma:“ Lakhiwewon'
tyouintr
oduceustoyour
fr
iendplease,mybaby?”shesai
dsoundingunsur
e
ofherwor ds.

Lakhi
we:“
I'
m sor
ry,
Mma.Uhm t
hisi
sBl
ue,
”

Bl
ue:
“Lul
ama,
”shecor
rect
edme.

MrsE:“Lul
onke,
”shecor
rect
edLul
ama.Whatdowe
cal
lhernow?

Lakhiwe:“
Yes.Baby,Lulamawast hepersonItold
youcamet omyr escuewhent hatAndil
eguywas
fol
lowingmet oret
urnmyphone.Wehadcof feeso
Icouldsaythanks.Igaveherthepict
ureofLulonke
andshepr omisedtolookat.Aft
erthr
eeweeksof
notheari
ngf r
om herIthoughtshedidnotknow
Lul
obuti ttur
nsoutshemi ghtbet
heper sonwe
werelookingfor
.Lastnightshecall
edtot ellusthat
asyouknow, ”Isaidwhil
el ooki
ngatthefami lyandI
tur
nedtof aceLulamawhohel dmyhand.“ Lulama,
thi
sismyhusband, Li
yemaandhi smot her,my
motherinlawandpossi bl
yyourmot hertoo,”
Lul
amal ookedatMmaf oral ongwhil
e.Itwasa
col
dlooknotoneofadmi rati
on.

Lul
ama:“Whydidyougivemeaway?Di dyoucheat
onyourhusbandandgotpregnantwi
thme?Soyou
hadtohi
demef rom hi
m?”,
sheaskedMma.

Mma:“
Pleasecanwesi
twhi
let
alki
ngaboutt
his?
”

Lul
ama:“I'
vebeensi
tt
inginthecellsi
ncelastni
ght
.
Iwil
lst
and,”Mmanodded.I'm gl
adLiyemadidnot
cometoMma' sdef
ense.Ithi
nkLulamadoesnot
wantanswersfr
om menorhi m butfr
om Mma.
Mma:“Inevergaveyouaway.Youarenotmy
l
over
'schi
ldbecauseIneverhadany.Youand
Li
yemahavet hesamefather
,”

Lulama:“Sowhatmakeshim sospeci
al?Whyishe
nexttoyouandI'
minjai
l?
”,sheaskedwi t
hat
ti
tude.

Mma:“Becausethecir
cumstanceswer edi
fferent
whenIhadyoucompar edtowhenIhadhi m. .
.,
”
Lul
amawant edtosaysomething.“Pl
easejustlet
meexplai
nfirstt
henyoucantalk.Justl
ist
enf or
now,pl
ease,
”Mmapl eaded.

Lulamaclosedhermout handlookedatMma.Mma
start
edtospeak.ShetoldLulamathestoryj ustas
shehadtolditt
ousbutt hi
st i
mewi t
hmor eemot i
on.
Shewast el
li
ngthestorytothevict
iminal loft hi
s
soshehadt obesoftandshowhowr emor sef ulshe
i
s.Lulamaheldontomyhandf ordearl
ife.If eell
ike
sheseesmeasher“ safeplace”asIseeLi yema.
Whenyougot hrought r
aumayouneedasaf eplace.
Somet i
mesi t
sat own, abuildi
ng, somethingas
si
mpl easabl anketbutinsomecasesasaf eplace
i
sanot herhumanbei ng.Ifshef eelsthatwayabout
met houghIcannothel phermuch, Iwil
lbet here
whensheneedsme.Eveni fwef indthatshei snot
Lul
onke, Iwil
lbeaf r
iendt oher.Sheder seves
sunshineinherlif
eforonce.Butnowt hathermake
upisof f
,IseeMma, theresembl ancebetweent hem
i
sscar y.ShegotLiyema' sheightf orsur
eorLi yema
gotherheightsinceshei solder.Mmaf i
nal l
y
concludedherstoryandt hent herewassi lence.

Lul
ama:“Idon'
tunderst
andwhyyoudidnotchoose
mefrom t
hebeginni
ng,”shesai
dsof
tl
y.

Mma:“ Menotaborti
ngyou,wasmywayof
choosi
ngyou.Ilovedyoufr
om thesecondIknew
youweregrowinginsi
deofme.Iwaswr ong,my
baby.Yourf
atherwaswrongtoo.Wear esor
ry,
”
Lulama:“ Willyoursor ryer asetheyearsoft raumaI
exper i
encedbybei ngasexsl ave?Wi l
lyoursor ry
eraset hememor yengr avedinmymi ndofseei ng
mysi sterdangl i
ngl i
felessi nourbedroom r oof ?Wi l
l
i
ter aset hepai nIf eltwhenmyol dersister sgot
mur dered?Wi lliteraset heimageofmysi steri n
watermi xedwi t
hherownbl oodwi thopenwr ists?
Wi l
literaset hef earI 'm cur r
entl
yfeeli
ngasIwai tt
o
heari fmyot hersi ster swer eshotinther aidl ast
night?.Wi llyoursor r
yer aseallofthat?
”shesai d
withnot earj ustanger ,lotsofanger.Liyemacoul d
nothel pbutshedt ear s, nobrotherwant st ohearhi s
si
sterspeakl i
ket hat .Mmahel dhershaki nghands
overhermout hwhi lecr ying.Sheknowst hather
sorrywi l
lnoter aseal lthepainbutsheal sohadt o
acceptt hatsor r
yi sal lshecangi veLulamaatt he
moment .

Ther
eisalotofbademoti
onsinther
oom.Nonof
uscoul
dspeak.Lul
amalookedatMmalikeMma
wasthescum oft
heear
th.Li
yemastoodfeel
ingt
oo
emot ionalt oevenspeakandIhadnot hingt osay.I
j
ustbr ushedLul ama'shandsof t
ly.Idonotbl ame
herf ornotseei ngthingsfrom Mma' spoi ntofview.
Shegott hewor stendoft hest i
ck.Shei sangr yand
sad.SheaskedMmaandLi yemat ol eavet heroom.
Mmapl eadedwi thhernott oshutherout .Mypoor
mot heri nl awevenwentonherknees.Mmai snota
persont hatbegssoseei ngherbegwasnoteasyat
all
.Li yemaf inall
ymanagedt ocar r
yheroutoft he
room cr ying.Ther ewast oomuchsadnessi nthis
place.I twei ghedmysouldown.Ij ustwi shedI
couldspr inklehappydustonpeopl eliket he
cartoonsonTVdowi theasebutwear el i
vinginr eal
l
ifenotsomei ll
usion.Wewi llhavet ocreat ethat
happydustbyseeki ngheal i
ngandIhaveaf eeling
wehaveaver ylongwayt ogo.

LULAMA

IfIwastoopenupt
othi
sf ami
lyIneededt
he
personIdeal
twi
thf
rom t
hebeginni
ngtobewit
h
them.WhenIsawLakhi wewasnotwi t
ht hem t his
mor ni
ngIcl osedup.IdonotknowbutIj ustwant ed
herthere.Ican' tbelievethatshecamesosoon.My
brotherisonel uckymant ohaveawi fewhot akes
hisfamily'sshitliket hi
s.Iheardt hiswoman' s
reasonsf orleavingmebutIj ustcoul dnotpr ocess
them.Idi dnotunder standthem.Idi dnotunder st
ad
whyshechoseamanoverme.I fIwasnot
i
mpor tanttohert hen, t
henwhyt hehel lwoul dIbe
now?Iwi shshebl oodywel lwentaheadwi tht hat
aborti
on.Iwi shedIwasneverbor nsomanyt imes
andI '
m angryatherf ornotli
steningt oherdamn
manwhenhet oldhert oabor tme, .Itwasl ikehe
knewhowmyl ifewoul dendupandt ri
edt osave
mef rom thepai nbypr eventi
ngmyexi stence.I '
m
angryatt helotoft hem, sibli
ngsi ncluded.Mabe
hadLakhi webeent heirdaughter,Iwoul dhavebee
angryathert oobutshewasanout sider,l
ikeme.

Lakhi
we:“
Sowhatwi
llhappennow?
”shel
ookedat
me.
Lul
ama:“Aren'
tyougoi
ngt
otr
yandconvi
cetosee
whatagoodwomanyourmotheri
nlawi
s?”Iasked
sar
cast
ical
ly.

Lakhi
we:“Shehasherfaultsbutsheisagood
woman.Wi l
lIwastemyt imetr
yingtoconvi
ceyou
aft
eral
lthathappened?
, No.Ij
ustwanttoknow
howyouwantmet ohelp?”shesatdown.Sheis
str
angebutIli
keit.

Lul
ama:“Idon'
tknow.Thereisnothi
ngyoucando.
Ij
ustwantedyouhereIguess,”Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Lakhiwe:“Okay,sotel
lmeaboutyoursi ster
s.How
manyar et
here?Mysi st
erhatesme, l
ikehatesmy
guts,”shesaid.Ir
eall
ythoughtshewasgoi ngto
forcemet otalkaboutdeepstuffl
ikemosthaveso
farbutno..

Lul
ama:“
Wewer
e12.i
twasmyol
dersi
ster
sMbal
i,
Sam, thentherewasmeandt heyoungerones.My
sist
erslovedmeandt hosewhoar ealivesti
lll
ove
me.Wear ecloseandl oveeachother.Wehadcat
fi
ghtsobviousl ybutIwouldgot owarforthem.Why
doesyoursi sterhateyou?Areyouabi tchwhenyou
revealyourtruecolours?”
,shelaughed.

Lakhiwe:“ Ar
en'tweal
lwhenourbut tonsget
pushedt oomuch?No, Iputhermom injail,
”her
confessionshockedme.Wasi taconfession?“Her
mot herismyst epmothersoshei smyhal fsi
ster.
Thewomanabusedmeunt i
lIhadnochoi cebutto
runf r
om home.Recent lywhenIhadmyl obola
negotiati
ons,Ihadtogobackhome.Onl yt ofi
nd
thatshehadsol dmetot heguywhoIt houghtIwas
will
inglyrunni
ngawayf r
om homewi t
h,”shesai d
softl
y.Soshegott raf
fickedto?

Lul
ama:“Soyouareavict
im ofhumant
raf
fi
cki
ng
j
ustli
keme?”,
Iaskedsoft
ly.
Lakhi
we:“ Iguesssobutoursi
tuati
onswerever
y
di
ffer
ent.Icouldnevercompar
et hem.Pl
usMma
neversoldyou,”

Lulama:“
Didt
hemanshesol
dyout
otr
eatyou
ri
ght?”

Lakhi
we:“
No,
heusedt
obeatt
hehel
loutofme,
”

Lulama:“Thendon'tdil
uteyourpainjustbecause
youfeelminewasgr eater.Webothknewt rauma
fr
om ayoungagei nt hehandsofpeopl ewhower e
supposetoprotectus.LikeyouIalsodidnotknowI
wast r
aff
ickedbecauseIt houghtt
heywer emy
parent
s,”

Lakhi
we:“
Ihearyouandyouhaveapoi
nt,
”

Lul
ama:“
Peopl
eli
ket
hatwi
llneverunder
stand,
peoplelikeyourf amily.It seasyforthem tosay
sorryanduseal lt hesef ancywor dsbutt heywere
notthere.Theywer enott herewhenyour
stepmot herabusedyou, theywerenott herewhenI
wasmadeasexsl ave, theywer enottherewhen
yourexhi tyou,theywer enott herewhenmycl ient
s
andMi kehi tme.Wel ivedl i
fenotknowi ngif
tomorrowwoul dbeourl ast.Notknowingifwewer e
goingtodi einthosemen' shands.Theydonot
understand,”Il
ookedatherwi thtear
srolli
ngdown
mycheek.

Lakhiwe:“Iagreewi t
hyouf ullyther
e.Liyemais
ther
ef ormewheni tallgetstoomuchbuthecan
noterasethebadmemor iesthattri
ggerthebad
daysbutIknowi fhecoul d,hewould.Hewasnot
ther
ewheni thappenedbuthei sherenowandI
appreciat
ehi spresenceinmyl i
fesomuch, ”

Lul
ama:“Atleastyouhavehim.Ihavenoone.I
don'
tevenknowi fmysist
ersaresti
llal
ive,
”Il
ooked
downshehel
dmyhand.

Lakhi
we:“
Youhaveanent
ir
efami
lynowt
oo,
”

Lul
ama:“Theyarenotmyf
ami
ly,
”Isai
dandshe
j
ustnoddedslowl
y.

Lakhi
we:“Theonl
ywayt
oknowi
sifyouagr
eet
o
theDNAtest,
”

Lul
ama:“Eveni
ftheresul
tsar
eposi
ti
ve,t
heyst
il
l
wil
lnotbemyfamil
y,
”Hanaseopenedthedoor
.

Hanase:“Ij
ustgotwor dfrom mycol leaguesinPE.
Yoursi
stersareallsti
llal
ive.Al
lthegi r
lswere
movedtoasaf ehouseunt i
lwecanf indtheirr
eal
fami
li
es.Youwi l
lbeputi nasaf ehouset oosince
youknowsomuchaboutMi ke'
sbusi nessandhis
busi
nesspartner
s.I '
m arr
angingt hataswespeak.
Youwi
llbesaf
eunt
ilt
hisbl
owsover
,”

Lulama:“ Dowhatyoumust ,detect

ive.I
'm adead
womanwal kinganywayssoi tr
eall
ydoesnotmake
adifferencewher eIdie.I
fMikedoesnotf indaway
todoi thimself
,thenhisfri
endswi l
landmysi sters
areasgoodasdeadt oo.Justreuniteusbefor
et hat
please,”

Hanase:“
Theyar
ealreadyatthesaf
ehouse.You
wil
lbekepti
nadiff
erentone,
”shesaid.

Lul
ama:“
Okay,
”Hanasel
eftagai
n.

Lakhi
we:“
Stopsayi
ngyouwi
lldi
e,
”

Lul
ama:“Iwil
lnotdi
e,I
'm dead.IknowMikeworks
wit
hotherpeopl
e.Hi
snetwor kbecametoost
rong
whenhecamet oSouthAfri
casohemusthavehad
help.Maybet heysawhehadusgi rl
sal readyand
wor kedwithhim.Event hatof
fi
ceratt hedoormight
beoneoft hem.Helleventhedetect
ive.Ihave
accept edt
hatIam adeadwomanwal ki
ng.Iwished
Icoul dseethegir
lsbutit'
sokay.Iwillseethem in
hell
,”

Lakhiwe:“
Stopsayi
ngthat
.Youwon'
tdi
eandyou
won'tgotohell
,
”sheshout
ed.

Lul
ama:“Iwasnotsel
li
ngmuff
ins,Lakhi
we,Iwas
sel
li
ngmybody.Heavanhasnoplaceforpeopl
e
l
ikeme,
”

Lakhiwe:“Youdidnotdoitoutoffr
eewi l
l,
youhad
nochoi ce.Youcannotcondemnyour sel
fbecause
ofthat.Pleasej
ustt
alktoyourbrot
..
.ImeanLiyema
andMma.Maybewecancomeupwi thaplan,
”

Lul
ama:“
Aret
heyhar
dcor
ecr
imi
nal
swi
thf
ri
endsi
n
dangeroussyndicat
es?
,”sheshookherhead.“
Then
theycannothelp,”

Lakhi
we:“
Howwi
llyouknowi
fyoudonott
ry
them?,
”

Lul
ama:“Iwillbeput
ti
ngyourmani
nshit
,Lakhi
we.
Shi
tthatmightmakeyouayoungwidow,
”

Lakhiwe:“Iknow,”shesaidsof
tly.Shethoughtof
thatandthet houghtscar
edher.“Myhusbandi sa
smar tmant hough,
”sheadded.Isshej ki
ddi
ngme?
Idon'tneedsmar tmanbutdamnhar dcoret
hug.

Ididnotar
guewit
hher.Iall
owedhert olett
hose
peoplei
n.Idol
ookli
ket hewomanbutnot hi
ngli
ke
theguy.Hemustl
ooklikehisdaddy.Thewoman
satdownandhersonandLakhi westood.Idonot
knowwhattosaytothesepeople.
Liyema:“Wewi
llnothur
tyou,
Lul
ama.Wej
ustwant
tohelp,
”

Lul
ama:“
AmanwhoIoncet houghtwasmyfat
her
hur
tme,whatmakesyouthi
nkIwi l
ltr
ustamanI
metfi
veminut
esago?”Il
ookedathim.

Liyema:“
BceuaseI
'm nott
hemanwhostol
eyou.
I'
m yourbrot
her
,wesharethesameDNA,
”

Lul
ama:“Hmm okay,brother
,”Isai
dsarcast
ical
ly.“
I
don'
tknowwhyyourwi fecal
ledyouin.maybeshe
cantel
lusal
l?
”IlookedatLakhiwe,”

Lakhi
we:“Welltheywi l
lputherinasaf ehouse
soon.Hersist
ersaretherealready.Idon'
tknow
whatIthoughtwecoul ddo,”shelookedatmewi t
h
afrownonherf orehead.
MrsE:“ Asafehousei
slikedr oppi
ngyouoffat
Mike'
sboss'sdoorst
ep.Icannotal l
owt hat
.You
wil
lstaywithmeandIwi llhir
esecuri
tyevenifi
t
bankruptsme.Iwil
lputast optothi
s,”Il
aughed
l
oudly.

Lul
ama:“
Foral
lIknowyouwi
lldot
hebl
oodysame
thi
ngt
ome,”

MrsE:“Iwanttoputt
hepeopl
ewhodi
dthi
stoyou
away,
”shelookedatme.

Li
yema:“
Whatdoyoumean?
”

MrsE:“Iwi
llt
ellyousoonbutf
ornowletusjust
f
ocusonget t
inghertoCapeTown.Yourf
atherput
meintouchwi t
hsomeonewhocanhel pme,”

Lul
ama:“
Iwoul
drat
herdi
ethangowi
thyoupeopl
e,
di
e,die,
die.Plusyourpresciousfamil
ywillbeat
ri
sk.Doyouwantt ori
skthat?”.My“mother”l
ooked
atherson.Iknewt heywon'tjumpthroughfir
e
hoopsforme.“ See?”,
Iadded.

Liyema:“I
'
llar
rangefort
heboysandLakhi
wetogo
toPeddieassoonaspossibl
e,
”hesaidwhil
e
l
ookingathiswife.

Lakhi
we:“What
?”I
'
m wr
it
ingexams,
Liyema,
no,
”
shesaid.

Li
yema:“Lal
a,pl
ease,
”hepl
eaded.Theyact
ual
ly
l
ookcutetoget
her.

Lakhiwe:“
Arrangefortheboystogo.I'm notgoi
ng
torepeatayearbecauseofsomet hugs.One
alr
eadywastedmyt imebeforeso,no,”shesaid
withatt
it
ude.
Lulama:“Donotbreakyourdamnbacksbendi
ng
overbackwardsforme.I'
vealwaysbeent
ough.I
canlookaftermysel
f.Gohomeandbeahappy
famil
yagain.”

Li
yema:“Youareapartofthatf
amilyandI
promi
sedmygr andmotherIwouldbri
ngyouhome.
Idon'
tbreakpr
omisesImadet omygr andmother
,”
hepoint
edatme.Whodoeshet hi
nkhei spoi
nti
ng
atme?

Lulama:“Getyourdi
rt
yfingeroutmyf
ace.Poi
nti
ng
dryfi
ngersatme.Lakhiwegetyourmanhand
cream pl
ease,
”

Lakhiwe:“Idon'tknowi
fyoutwoarehavi
ngyour
fi
rstsibl
ingbickeri
ngbuti
fsodoitanot
hert
ime
pl
ease” ,
shelookedatus.

Mma:“
Liyemagett
heboysoutofCapet
ownnow.
HavePatt akethem toPeddie.Lakhi
wet el
lyour
grandparentstoprepareforf
ourcutestorms.You,I
willt
akeyout oCapeTownandIwi l
lkeepyousafer
thananyl awoffi
cercould.Ifai
ledoncebutI'
m
preparednow,”sheor der
ed.

Lul
ama:“
IwantaDNAt
estf
ir
st,
”

MrsE:“CapeTownhaslabst
oo.I
'l
lgoar
rangewi
th
thedet
ecti
veandar
rangemenfort
hehouse.My
ownmen.

Li
yema:“
I'
llar
rangef
li
ght
sfort
heboysandPat
,”

MrsE:“
Don'tworr
y.IwillpayandforPat'
sti
met
oo.
Sheonl
yneedstodr opthem of
fandretur
n.Wewil
l
gett
hem wheneverythi
ngisdone,
”

Thesepeopl
etookcont
rolofmyl
if
eli
keIhadno
say.Ijustsawthem makear rangement sformeand
theywer enotaskingme, t
heywer et ell
ingme.I
don'tknowhowIf eelaboutt his.Apar tofmef eels
war medbyt hefactthatpeopl ear ewi ll
ingtotake
ri
sksf orme.I'
m gladt hebabi eswi llbef arfr
om me,
theywoul dbetheeai sesttargets.Li yemamadehi s
arrangementsandhi smom her s.IguessI '
m going
toCapet own.IcouldseeLakhi wewasnothappy
withbeingapartfrom herki ds.Iwi shshewasdone
withexam andwentwi ththem.

Detecti
ve:“
Soareyour eal
lygoi
ngt
or i
skgoingwith
thesepeople?Imeannooneknowst helocat
ionof
oursafehousebutspecial
membersofthepolice
force.
,
”shesaid.

Mma:“Butwedonotknowifal
lthosemember
sare
cl
ean.I
'
m nott
aki
ngthosechanceswit
hmychil
d's
l
if
e,”

Det
ect
ive:“
Doyout
rustt
hesepeopl
e?Ihavekept
yousaf
eal
lthi
sti
me,
”

Lulama:“AndI'm gratefulbutsheisri
ght.Iknow
Mikehadpol i
cefriends.Thatiswhyt hegirl
sandI
neverremainedincust odylongont hoserare
moment swhenwewoul dgetarr
sted.Imightbe
goingi
ntoaLi onsdengoi ngwiththem but
somethingtell
smet hattheyarethesaferhorseto
beton,
”

Det
ecti
ve:
”Okaybutwewi
llal
ertt
hepol
icet
her
e
t
hatyouarecoming,
”

MrsE:“Don'
ttel
lmethatshei
sgoi
ngt
obear
rst
ed
assoonaswel and,
”

Dt
ect
ive:“
No,butshewi
llhavet
otest
if
yagainst
Mi
kewhent het
imecomes.Sheisnotunderarr
est
,”
Lul
ama:“
WhataboutCat
hri
ne?
”

Dtect i
ve:“ Imeantt ot ellyou.Myt eam andIsenther
picturetoal lpol i
cest ationsi nSout hAf ri
casi nce
wenowknownonofyouar eMi ke's.Adet ectivein
Sowet ocal l
edmeear li
eron.Wef oundCat '
sf amily.
Herr ealnamei sLer atoMaakwe.Shewentmi ssing
whenshehadj ustturnedt woyear sold.Hercase
hadgonecol dsinceshecoul dnotbef oundbuther
mot herwashappyt ohearwef oundherevenwhen
shehear dshewasdead, thecl osur eshewi l
lf i
nd
fr
om bur yingherchi ldisenoughf ornow.I tseems
i
twassui cide.Wei nspect edt hepl aceandt here
wasnosi gnt hatshest ruggledorwasmur dered.
Herf acesankdeeperi ntot hewat erwhenshel ost
conci ousnesscausi nghert odr own.I '
m sor ry.Mr s
Elephanti ft hisisyourdaught er,thankGodf or
fi
ndi ngheral i
ve.Manymot her swi lll
earnt hattheir
daugt htershavedi ed.Wewi llcatcht hesebast ards
becauseMi kesai di tdoesnotendwi thhi m.We
havesentoutt hepicturesofot hergi rl
st oo.Imani
youryoungestsi ster ,
herpar entsar ealiveandwe
tol
dthem thatshewi l
lbereleasedwhenwear e
suretheyarei nnodanger .I
tseemsf amil
ieshave
beenlookingf orthei
rdaught er
sforyears.You
goingagainstMi kemadet hatpossible.Youshould
beproudofyour self
,Lul
ama.Iwi llprovetoyou
thatoursafehousesar esafewhent heothergir
ls
getrel
easedi ntotheirf
ami l
iescare.Ihatemenwho
thi
nkwomenar eobjectssowewi llbringthem
down,"shesoundeddet erminedtoshutt hesemen
downi ndeed.

Lul
ama:“
Thankyou,
"Isai
dsof
tl
y.

WowsoI manif oundherfami lytoo?Myhear t

breaksforCa..
.Lerat
o'sfamily.Imaginef i
ndingout
yourlonglostdaughterisfoundbutunf ort
unetl
y
shediedaf ewhour sago.IknowIwon' tbeableto
gotot hefuner
albutIwi l
lgot ohergr avetoput
l
avenderflowers,herfavouri
te.

Af
terl
ist
eni
ngt
othedet
ect
iveIr
eal
izedt
hatnonof
thef ami li
esoft hegi rlswer etobl amef ort hem
bei ngki dnapped, notevenmyownone.Thi s
womandi dnotl eavemei nthecar eofhergr anny
formet obest olen.Thatwasal lMi keandSophi e.I
deci dedt odr opmydef encesabi twiththem.They
wantt ohel pandhonest lyIdon'treallywantt odie.
IfIdi dIwoul dhaveki ll
edmysel fal ottimeago.Ido
notknowwhyI '
mi nl ovewi thli
vingaf terIliveda
l
ifeofhel lbutitiswhati tis.Deathdi dnotl ookas
appeal ingt omeasi tdidt oCatandBongi ,Iwantt o
l
ive.Ij ustdonotwantt ol i
veasasexwor ker
anymor e.Idonotwantt ol i
veindanger .Idon' t
knowwhatwi llhappennext .Imi ghtloset hese
peopl et odeat hbecauset heychoset ohel pmeand
theyknowi tbutt heyj ustdonotcar e.What 's
i
mpor tantt othem i st hatIbesaf eatl ast.Ijustsat
cr yingsi lentl
yal onebecausenoonehaswant edto
riskt hei rli
vest r
yingt opr otectme.Thewoman, my
mot herwant edt ohugmebutIdi dnotal l
owher .
Lakhi wet riedherl uckandIdi dnotevenpr ot est
.
Thi swomanmusthavesomemagi c.Shemakes
mydef encessoweak.Shemakesmewantt oopen
upmychestsoshecoul dseewhat '
sinside.It hink
nowt hatIknowherst or y, I
'm mor eat t
achedt oher.
Wehaveal mostbeent hr ought hesamet hings.She
mightt hinkherpai nwasl esspai nfullbutnopai nis
better.IlookatherandIf eelhopef ul.Tome, ifshe
coulddusther selfaf t
erl ifedeal thersomuchpai n
atayoungage, itmeantt her eishopef orme.
MaybeIwantt obecl oset ohernowmor et han
beforebecauseIwanthert oteachmet ohealas
shehas.Ihearshehasbadanddar kdaysbutIcan
seeshehasheal ed.Iwantt ohealandIwanthert o
showmehow.Idonotwantt obecl oset omy
brother.Theonl yknowl edgeIhaveofaf ami l
yman
i
sMi keandhet reat edusl i
ket rash.HowdoIknow
i
fLiyemai snotsomebast rdtoo?Andasf ormy
mot herIdonotknow.IdonotknowhowIf eel
abouthercompl etelybutIam angr yatherf orsure.
Ithi
nkt heywi l
lneedt obepat ientwi thmewhi leI
studyt hem.Iassumet heyar er icht oowhi ch
makesmemor eangr ybecauseIwassupposet o
haveni cel if
eprobl emsj ustasI 'm sur etheyhave.
Theonl yfami l
ymemberIt rustf ornowi sLakhi we.I
donotknowwhatCapeTownhasi nst oref orme
butIi magi nedangerandper hapsevenbl oodshed.I
hopei fbloodi
sshed,i
t'
smi neandnotanyofthei
rs.
Ilookedupatmyst ubbornsisteri
nlawwhochose
booksoverherownl i
feandmanagedt osmi
le.I
fwe
allcomeoutoft hi
sali
ve,couldsheteachmehow
toheal ?

PS:Hi,
guysIreadal lt
hecomment sandthankyou
somuchf orr
eadingmyst or
y.Ihavetri
edtorepl
y
butsomethi
nggoeswr ong.Itol
dtheVW team and
hopeiwil
lbefixed.Thankyou.
[
03/
28,
17:
28]Lynne:FI
FTYFI
VE

MRSE

IgotnewsthatMi kegotkil
ledwi thi
nthef ir
stnight
ofhisti
meinj ail
.Mychi l
drent hinkthathisbosses
didi
ttostophi mf rom t
alki
ng.Idon' twantt hem to
knowmeasaki l
lersoIwi l
lletthem believethatis
whathappened.Ial soknowt hatthebossoft he
gangispanickingwher everheorshei s.Ican'tsay
i
t'samanbecausewomandocr uelt hingst oot her
women.SoIwoul dn' tbesur pri
sedifi t'
sawoman
withki dsofherownwhoget srichbysel l
ingot her
women' sdaught ers.I 'vear r
angedf orsecur i
tyatt he
houseandi thasnotbeeneasy.Lul or ef usest o
haveanyt hi
ngassoci atedwi thme.I tbr eaksmy
hear tbutIknowf or cingmat ter
swi l
lmaket hings
wor se.I'vemetwi thMrCar ratverypr ivat epl aces.
LiyemaandLakhi wear ekindenought oact ually
comeovert ost aywi thLul owhenIhavet ogoout .
I'
vebeenf orcedt ogetmysel fagun.Sof art here
hasbeennoact ion.Nonofushaveseenanyone
foll
owi ngus.Idon' tthi nkthesepeopl eknowt hat
Luloi swi t
hus.Isuspectt heythinkshe' satapol i
ce
safehouseandar et ryingt olocatehert her e.Ihope
hersi sterswillbesaf e.Hernotbei ngabl et o
cont actthem iseat ingatherhear t
.Iknowbecause
Iover heardhert ellLakhi we.Sof arthati st heonl y
personshewant sanyt hingtodowi th.Lungi lehas
notcomet oseehi ssi sterinthedayswehavebeen
back.It oldLiyemat ogi vehimt i
me.Iwentt omeet
Carronceagai n.Hesai dhemi ghthaveapl ansi nce
nonofushavecomewi thanythingsol idandwe
knowwedon'
thavemucht
ime.

Carr:"
Ihaveaplantogettotheboss.It
'snotful
l
proofbuti
tmightgetusthebigfi
sh,"helookedat
me.Ihadaf eel
ingt
hatIwillnotl
ikewhatthisman
hastosay.

Zol
a:"
I'
mli
steni
ng,
"Il
ookedi
ntohi
seyes.

Carr:"
Webot hknowMi kegotkil
ledbefor
ehecoul
d
tel
lthem aboutyouri
nvolvementbecauseyouand
yourfamilywouldhavebeenkill
edbynow, "

Zol
a:"
Don'
tbesosur
eaboutt
hat
,"

Carr:"Okaybutthem notknowingt
hatyouar e
i
nvolvedandt hatoneofthegirl
sareatyourplace
couldwor katouradvantagebutweneedt omove
quick.Weuset hegir
lasbait,
"hesaidquickl
y.
Zol
a:"No,overmydeadbody,"Ishout
ed.If
eltli
ke
sl
appinghim.Ididnottel
lhi
m Lul
oismychi l
dsoI
don'
tthi
nkher eal
izeshowmuchhei saski
ngofme.

Carr
:"I
fwear enotincontr
olthentheywil
lindeed
gooveryourdeadbodyt ogettoher.Theywill
el
iminat
eallofyou.I'
m nottal
kingaboutasmal l
gangthatr
obshousesher e,
"

Zola:"
Don'tyouthi
nkIbloodyknowthat
?Howsure
arewet hatt
hepersoninchargewil
lbet
heoneto
fal
lint
ot het
rap?
"Iasked.Ican'
tri
skmydaught
er.

Carr:"
WellI'
vebeenf ol
lowingcasesinvolvi
ngthese
peopleforyears.Ihavesourceswhohavedeal t
wit
ht hi
sguy.Hemi ghtbehardtopindownbut
whenyouhavebusi nessforhim,hepreferstomeet
personall
ywithyou,"
Zol
a:"
Howwoul
dyouknow?
,"Il
ookedathi
m.

Car r
: "
Pleaseyourquest i
onmakesi tsoundl i
keyou
thinkI'm oneoft hem.Stri
pmenakedandyouwon' t
findanyt attoo.Whenyouwor konhuman
traff
ickingcasesyouwor kwithpeopl ewhogo
under coveral ot.Nonofmypeopl ewereabl etoget
closet othebossbutt heyhavehear dthatthisguy
l
ikest oconcl udedealhimself.Wenowhavea
per f
ectoppor tunit
ytolur
ehi m outofthehol eheis
i
n.Thegi rlatyourplacewasMi ke'
snumberonegi rl
.
Mi keisdead.I fshegetsintouchwi ththisguyand
tell
shi mt hatshewant stotakeoverMi ke's
oper ati
ons, I
'm 95%surehewi llwanttomeether ,
"
hesai dsoundi ngsure.

Zol
a:"
Andputherl
if
eindanger
,"

Carr
:"Ital
readyi
s.Thebossislooki
ngfort
hem as
wespeak.Oncehehear sshegotawayandhas
knowledgeofwheretheother
sare,shewil
lmake
hi
m si
tupandl
ist
en.

Zol
a:"
Shedoesn'
tknowwher
etheyar
e,"

Carr
:"Hedoesn'
tknowt hat.Li
keI
'vesaid,
wear ei
n
contr
olbutonl
yforsolong.Hecouldfindoutshe'
s
atyourhousesoonandi fwedon'
tactnow, body
bagswillcomeoutoft
hathouse,"helookedatme.I
don'
twantanyonetodie.

Zol
a:"
Ihavet
othi
nkabouti
t,
"

Car
r:"
Makethecal
lnowandgor
unt
hepl
anbyher
.
Ti
meiswhatwedonothave,
"

Zola:"Thisgir
lissti
llf
ragi
le.Wherewillweevenget
thesegirl
s?Hemi ghtfallf
orthetrapbuthewill
checkoutt hecoastfir
standifLuloshowsup
withoutgir
lsasshepr omised,sheisdead,
"
Carr
:"LikeI'
vesaid.Iknowverygoodprof
fesional
undercoveroff
ici
alswhohavehelpedmebr ing
downsuchpi gsforyears.Somearefemale,
beauti
fulonessoshewi l
lar
ri
vewitht
hegirl
sas
promised,"

Zol
a:"
Howwoul
dweevencont
actt
hisguy?
"

Carr:
"Leavet
hattome.Mr sElephantmytr
ack
recor
dspeaksforit
sel
f.Youcamet omeforhelp,
soyouhavetotrustmewi t
hthis.Thi
sist
heonly
way,"

Isatfeeli
nganxious.Idon'
tt r
usteasilybutCarr'
s
energydoesnoti ndi
cateevilbutonecanneverbe
careful
.He'sr
ight,hehasbr oughtdownmanyof
thesekindsofpeople.I'
minnoposi t
iontodot hi
s
onmyown.Goodt hi
ngIsilencedMi kebeforehe
couldsingtohisbossaboutme.I tseemsDet ecti
ve
Hanasehaskeptt hissecr etwel l.ButCar ri
sr ight,
theywi llf
indoutwher eLul oreallyi ssoonandt hey
willki
llanyonei ntheirwayofget t
ingt oher .I
agreedwi t
hCar rbutIwi llfi
rsthavet ot alktoLul o.
Howdoyout ellyourownchi ldthatshei sgoi ngt o
beusedasbai tandmi ghtdi e? .Car rshowedmet he
picturehisunder coverpeopl ecoul dgetoft he
person, it
'saman.Thi smanhasbeenf oll
owi ngt hi
s
gangf oryear snow.Hei si t
chi ngt ocat chthem.He
hasal otofinfor mationont hem butt heypr otect
theirkingwel lsonoonecoul dgethi slocat i
on.Car r
explainedt hepl anmor eandIwi llagr eeonl ywhen
Lulodoest oo.Iwentbackhomet or unt heplanby
her.Shehat esmygut ssoIhopeshewi l
lli
sten.I
foundhersi tt
ingi nherr oom behi ndal ockeddoor ,
shedoest hatal ot
.Iknockedont hedoorand
announcedwhoIam.Ther ewassi lenceatf i
rstbut
Ipleadedunt i
lsheopened.Shehadbeencr ying.
Shewentt ositont hebedwi thherbackt urnedon
me.Isatont heopposi t
esi debecauseshedoesnot
wantmecl oset oher .
Zola:"Iknowwhynoonehasmadet hr
eat
syet,they
don'tknowyouar ehere.Wethinkt
heyaretryi
ngto
l
ocat ethepol
icesafehouseyoumightbein.They
don'tknowyouar eherebutit
'sonl
yamat t
erof
ti
me, "Isai
dsoft
ly.

Lulo:"
Andyouwantmet ogori
ght
?Iwaswai t
ing
forthi
smoment.I
'
llgo,
"shesai
dwithat
ti
tude.

Zol
a:"
Ineverwantyoutogoagai
n.Iwantyouher
e
wit
hme.Iloveyou,Lul
o,"

Lul
o:"
LULAMA"

Zol
a:"
Yes.Sot
hemanIsai
dI'
m workingwit
hcame
upwit
haplant
ocat
chthem,
"sheturnedtofaceme.

Lul
o:"
Andyout
rusthi
m?"
Zola:"Rightnowheistheonl yonewhocanhelpus.
Hehast hemeanstodoi t.Iwantyoutobefr
ee,
Lul
o.Eveni ft
hatmeansyoumovet oanot
herci
ty
butasl ongasyouwon' teverhavetol
ookoveryour
shoulderagain,"

Lul
o:"
Whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his?
"

Zola:"
I'
m yourmot her.Youmi ghtnotbeli
evethatI
l
oveyoual lequall
ybuti t
'str
ueandIcoul dkil
lforall
ofyou,"Isai
d.Ifonlysheknew, Ialr
eadyhaveki l
led
forherbutshedoesn'tneedt ocarrythatgui
lt
,
becauseIdon'tfeelguil
tyforkil
li
ngMi keandhis
fri
end.

Lulo:"What'
stheplan?
"sheturnedherbackonme
again.Iwantedtohughersomuch.Shehasnot
all
owedmet otouchherdur
ingtheti
mewe' ve
reconnected.
Zola:"
Ihat
ethisplansomuch.Idon'
twantt
ogo
aheadwit
hitbutheregoes,
"

ItoldherwhatCar rwant edhert odo.Lulodoesnot

trustherownf ami ly.Idoubtt hatshewi lltr
ustCar r
whom shehasneverevenmet .Ifini
shedexpl aining
thepl antoherandshekeptqui et.Shewasnot
goingt odoit,Iwi l
lhavet othinkofsomet hingel se.
Per hapsI'
dhavet ogol ivei nanot hercount rywith
her.Maybewher everMl ui s,wecangot oo.I'dhate
toleavemyboysbutt heyhavehadmeal ltheirli
ves.
Ifhidinginanot hercount rywitht hei
rsisterwi l
l
keephersaf et henI '
m goi ngt odoi t
.Sheneedst o
knowIchoosehert oo.Idi dnotbeghert oaccept
Car r'
splan.Isatandwai tedforheranswer .

Lul
o:"
I'
lldoi
t,
"shesai
dsof
tl
yaf
teraf
ewmi
nut
es.

Zol
a:"
Wowokay,
letmegot
ellCar
rnow,
"
Lulo:"I
'm notdoingt hisforyou.I'
m notdoingitf
or
thatmanwhosehel pingyou.I'm doi
ngthisformy
sister
s.ForyearsI'vepr omisedtosavet hem.Ift
his
mi ghthel
p,I'
lldoit
,"

Zol
a:"I
'
m gladyouarenotdoingi
tforus.Letmego
cal
lCarr
.Let'
sgett
heballrol
li
ng,
”

Iwal kedoutherr oom andcal ledMrCar r

.Hewas
happyt oheart hatshei sonboar dandsaidhewi l
l
arrangeever yt
hingonhi ssideandsendsomeone
fr
om hi st eam tocomegi veLul oaclearr
undown
onwhatshemustdo.It oldLul oandshejust
nodded.It oldCarrI'
llgowi t
hhi scopbuddiesbut
hesai dI '
m notqual i
fiedforsuchaj ob.Icall
ed
Liyemabecausehewoul dhatet obekeptinthe
dark.Hehasnotbeenl ett
inghi swif
eoutofhi s
si
ght .Hedr opsherof fandpi cksherupfrom
varsity.I'
m hopi ngforthisplant owork.

LULAMA
Toputmyownl i
featr i
skt opossiblysavemy
sistersi snot hingt othinkabout .Soont hesepeopl e
willknowwhi chsaf ehouset heyar einandki l
lthem.
Theywi l
lknowwher eIam andki llthesepeopl eI
l
ivewi t
handme.Ican' ttakeanot herloss.Idon' t
feelat t
achedt othesepeopl ebutIdon' twantt hem
todi e.I'vebeenhol dingmysel fprisonerint he
bedr oom becausemyhear ti
sbr oken.It'
si nso
manypi ecest hatIdoubtI '
llbeabl etoputt hem
toget her .IfIdi ethesepeopl ewillbesaf e.Af t
era
whi leZol acamet oaskmet omeett heladywhowi ll
tellmet hepl an.WhenIwentdownIf oundt he
ent i
ref ami lywai tingf orhim.Event hebr otherwho
hadnotwant edtocomemeetmesi nceI '
vebeen
her e.Theyshowedmehi spictures.Hest oodup
andIwasi nhi sar msbef oreIknewwhatwasgoi ng
on.Iscr eamedandhi thimt ogetmysel foutofhi s
gripwhi lecr ying.

Liyema:"DammitLungi
le,
Itol
dyout hatshei
snot
readyfortouchi
ngus,
"heshouted.Lakhi
wecame
tohugme.Sheisst
il
ltheonl
ypersonIcanal
low
closef
orwhoknowswhatreason.

Lungi:"
I'
m sor
ry.I
'
mt heonewhoneverl
ist
ens.Igot
tooexcit
ed,
"hesaidsoft
ly.

Lul
o:"Don'
ttouchmewi t
houtpermissi
onagai
n.
Nextti
meIwi l
ltwi
styourbal
lsunti
ltheyt
urnbl
ue,
"I
warned.

Lungi
:"Ouch"hehel
dthef
rontofhi
spant
s.

Zol
a:"
Iapol
ogi
zeonhisbehalf
.ThisisKumo, sheis
oneofCar
r'
speopl
e.Sheisheretogiveyouar un
downonwhatwil
lhappen.I
sthatokaywithyou?"

Lul
o:"
Isai
dI'
ddoi
t,di
dn'
tI?
"Iaskedsar
cast
ical
ly.
Li
yema:"Mmathi
sistoobigofar
isk.Shemi
ghtget
ki
ll
ed,
"hesai
d.Il
aughed.

Lul
o: "
I'
vebeentakingri
skssi
nce16andI
'
m now35,
sositthehel
ldown.Ihavefaceddeat
hmoret
han
anyofyoucombi ned,"

Kumo:"Wedon'
thavemucht
ime.Let
'sgett
o
busi
ness,
"

Lulo:
"Fi
nall
ysomeonewhodoesn'
ttal
knonsense,
"
Isatdown.Theysatt
oo

Itol
dKumot oskiptheexplanat
ion,mommydear est
gaveitt omeal r
eady.Iaskedhert ogettotheplan
andtel lmewhatt hehellshewantsmet odo.She
saidthegi r
lswhowi llactasmyof feri
ngtoGee,the
gangl eader.It
houghtt hemanwoul dhaveamor e
power fulname.Ihavehear dMikesayGeemany
ti
mesbutnevert houghtthebosswoul dhavesuch
asissyname.Kumoal sogavet hecont actf ort
hese
people.Shet ol
dmewhatt osayandhowt osayi t
.
Shesai dmyvoi cemustbecommandi ngt oearn
respectfrom wordgobutal sohavesof tnesst o
brushGee' smaleego.I ftherei
sanyt hingIcando,
i
sact .Shesetupaf ewt hingsandconnect editto
thephone.Iwasner vousbutIwasnotonet oback
downf rom achallenge.Imadet hecallbutoneof
thelapdogsanswer ed.It oldhi
m Iwantt ospeakt o
thebigbossbecauseIhaveagoodof ferforhim.I
hadt owai tf
oralongwhi l
ebefor eIheardavoi ce
ont heotherendoft heline.Ifi
gur ei
t'
st hisGeehe
askedmewhatIwant .

Lul
o:"Iwantt
omakeyoumoney,
"Isai
dtr
yingt
o
soundascoolasKumosai
dIshoul
d.

Gee:"Wheredi
dyougetmynumber ?"heasked.No
onetoldmehowt oanswerthatquesti
on.Icoul
dn'
t
exact
lyaskthepeopl
einfr
ontofmeei ther.
Lul
o:"Ourgoodfr
iend,Mike,
"Isai
dwi
thoutt
hinki
ng
abouti
t.Ihadt
oimpr ovi
se.

Gee:"Butourgoodfr
iendi
sdead,
"hesai
d.He
soundsSouthAfri
canandCaucasi
an.

Lulo:"
Youneedtothankmef orkil
li
nghim.Hehad
agreedtot
urnstat
ewitness.Isavedyoualotof
tr
oublebysil
enci
nghim,"

Gee:"
Whoar
eyou?
"

Lul
o:"AwomanwhoknowsMike'snetwor
k.Iwant
tot
akeoverwher
ehel
eftof
f,
"Isaidbuthekept
qui
et.

Gee:"
Mike'
sgi
rlsar
egone.Howwi
llyoucont
inue
wit
houtgi
rl
s?"
Lul
o: "
Ihavegirlsofmyown.Youngst uf
fwhowi ll
makecl i
entsveryhappy.IwasoneofMi ke'sgir
ls
soIknowwhatcl i
entswant.Ihavetopoft herange
packages.AllIneedisyourpowert omovet hese
packages.IknowMi kedidnotdot hatal
one, "

Gee:"
AndyouthinkIwon'
tmakeyouaslutagain?
,"
hesai
dandIlaughed.Myfami
lyl
ookedpatri
fi
ed.

Lul
o:"Youneedsomeonet orunyouroperati
ont
his
si
de.Ihavetheski
llsandmachandise.Wit
hyour
hel
p,wecouldtri
plewhatMikemadeyou.He
pl
ayeditsmall
.I'
m notonetoswimi nshal
low
water
,"Isai
dinafli
rtyvoi
ce

Gee:"
HowdoIgethol
dofyou?
"

Lulo:"
Thesedevi
cesar
enotsafe.Youneverknow
whomi ghtbel
ist
eni
ng.Let
'sdoitol
dfashi
oned
styl
eandmeetup,"
Gee:"
Idon'
tmeetpeopl
eper
sonal
ly,
"

Lulo:"
ThenIwillt
akemygi r
lstosomeonewho
does.I'
m surebynowyou'velear
nedwhata
resour
cefulwomanIam.Goodbye, "Iwasaboutto
dropthecallwhenIhear
d" Wait
"ontheothersi
de
oftheli
ne

Gee:"
Okaybutbr
ingt
hemachandi
se,
"

Lulo:
"Notunti
lwehavet
alkedfir
st.Youseethe
machandisewhenIsayso.Youkillme,youl
ose
yourchancesofmaki
ngmi l
li
ons,
"

Kumogavesi gnalthati
t'
salmostti
metocutthe
callf
ort
rackingreasons.Geeaskedmylocati
on
andItol
dhimI 'l
lbeinCapetown.Hegavemet he
ti
meandpl aceofthemeet i
ng.I
twastonightr
ound
aboutmidnight
.Weagr eedandKumocount edme
downandIcutt hecal ljustast imewasal mostup.I
knowt heywi l
ltrytrackt hecal l.KumisaidIwillgo
i
nwi redbutIr efused.I twoul dbet hefir
stthi
ngt hey
check.Zol aandherson' slookedl i
ketheywere
goingtobur stavei n.Iaskedt hem toexcusemeso
Icouldpr eparement ally.Isati nmyr oom foralong
while.Iwashungr yandt hesmel lofgoodfoodwas
nothelping.Ther ewasaknockont hedoorafter
andhour .Ilettheper soni nandLakhi weappeared
holdingfood.Mymout hwat ered.

Lul
o:"
Whydoyoudot
his?
"Iaskedher
.

Lakhiwe:"
Duh,I'
mt heMakot
i,I
'
m myinlawshouse.
IknewbeforeIagreedt
omar r
yyourbr
otherwhat
beingaMakot icomeswit
h,"

Lul
o:"
Wel
lIwasaslaveonce.Mar
ri
agewi
llnot
makemetobeoneagain"
Lakhiwe:"I'
m noslave.Youallar
esoemot ionaland
allovertheplacesomeonehast ofeedyou.Ilove
l
ooki ngaft
ermyf amily.Il
oveyouguys,
"sheputt he
foodnextt ome."I'
lll
eaveyoualonenow,"she
added.

Lul
o:"
Thankyou,
"Isai
d.Shesmi
led."
Wannasi
tfor
awhil
e?Howareyourboys?"

Lakhiwe:"Havi
ngdi
ffi
cul
tysett
li
nginatmy
grandparent
sbutaslongastheyareal
ive,
I'
lll
ive.
Howar eyou?Stupi
dquesti
onr i
ght
?"

Lul
o:"Iactt
oughbutI'
m scaredshi
tl
ess.I
'
m
hol
dingpeople'
sli
vesinmyhands.Imesst hi
sup,
wedie,"webothexhal
edloudly.

Lakhi
we:"
Oryoudoitr
ightandthepol
icegetthat
manandyoursi
ster
scanr et
urntot
hei
rfamili
es,"
Lul
o: "
Whydoyoudot hat?"shel
ookedatme
confused."
Whensomeonesayssomet hi
ng
negati
ve,yougivethem t
heposit
iveout
come.You
doitwithyourhusbandtoo,"

Lakhi
we:"
Fai
th,
"

Lul
o:"
Howdoest
hatwor
k?"

Lakhi
we:"Youprayoversi
tuat
ionsyouhaveno
contr
oloverandhopefort
hebest,"

Lul
o: "
Didyoudot
hatwhenyourexbeatyourass?
"
shelaughed.

Lakhiwe:"Iact
ual
lydi
dn'
tpr
ayduri
ngthoseyear
s.I
onlystar
tedwhenIwasawayfrom hi
m,"
Lulo:
"Pr
ayerwon'
tser
veasabul
let
proofvest
,
Lakhi
we,"

Lakhiwe:"Idon'tknowbuti t
'sthemainreasonwhyI
am sti
llgoing.Idon'texpectpeopl
etobelievei
n
prayerbutallIaskist hatt
heynotexpectmet o
stoppraying,"

Il
ookedatherf orthel ongestwhi le.Iwouldn'task
hertostopsomet hingt hatshebel ieveskeepsher
al
ive.SinceIwoul dwanthert oteachmeheal ing.I
askedhert opr ayforme.Ican' tdosheshoul ddoit.
Wehel dhandsandcl osedoureyes.Shesai da
prayerofprotectionovermyl ife.Noonehasever
prayedforme, noonenotevenmysi st
ersbecause
weneverpr ayed.Idi dn'tfeelanydi ffer
entaftershe
saidAment hough.It ookt hefoodandst art
edt oeat.
Zolahasof feredmef oodear l
ieronbutIdecl i
ned
herfood.Iwasst arvi
ngandIwi l
lneedst rengthfor
l
ateron.Iwi shIknewwhyIhadt heur geto
conti
nuel i
ving.Itwasasi fI'
ml ooki ngforwardto
somet hingwhenIhadabsol utelynothingt olook
forwar dt o.Wewentbackt oKumoandsheshowed
meapi ctur eofGee.Shesai dIshoul dnotcutadeal
i
fi t'
snotwi t
ht hatman.Theyar r
angedsomear med
menbecauseIknowGeewi llnotcomewi thout
protect i
on.Mi kei sdeadandIsaygoodr i
ddancet o
badr ubbish.Hi m andhi swi fewi l
lmeeti nhell.Ijust
prayGodorwhoevercont rolst heuniverset akesmy
sisterst oabet terpl ace.Hour swentbyqui ckly.It
wast imet oi mpl ementt hepl an.Iwasscar edbut
thet houghtofmysi stersbei ngf r
eeatlastdi dnot
allowf eart onumbme.Kumowentovert hepl an
onceagai n.Iwasr eady.Iwor ewhataf ormer
prost it
utewoul d, skimpycl othes.Beaut i
fulwomen
j
oi nedusandt heywer emy" packages"t oGee.I
hat ethatt hishappenst owomenonadai l
ybasi s.
Liyemasai dapr ayeronceagai n.Isti
lldon'tlike
them butIdon' that et hem.Wemadeourwayt othe
meet i
ngpl ace.Kumoassur edmepol icear ehi di
ng
andsur roundi ngt hepl aceandt heywillactwhen
theyseesomet hingi swr ong.Ihaveputmyf aithin
peopl ewhomi ghtputmebacki nthesexi ndust ry
agai n.Ican' tgobackt her e.Theybet t
erputabul l
et
throughmybr ainthanf orcemet osel lagain.My
menandIwal kedi ntotheshadyl ookingpl ace, I
havebeent owor sepl aces.Agr oupofmenwal ked
i
nbutt herewasnoGee.Imemor izedhi sfacef r
om
thepi ctur ewel l.Theywer eami xtureofallr acesbut
theper sonI 'm havi ngadeal withwasnott here.I
toldGeeIwon' tbr i
ngmygi r
lsoutunl essIt alkt o
him andi tseemshegotcol df eet.Hismen
sear chedmeandmymen.Goodt hingnonofusar e
wired.Thebast ardwhosear chedmeevenr ubbed
mypr ivatear eaundermydr ess.Ihadt ost op
mysel ff rom ki ckinghi m.ThemanwhoIsawont he
picturef i
nallycameoutwhenwegotcl eared.He
request edt oseet he" packages"bef oremaki nga
deal.Kumosai ddealt henshowpackagesbutno
buyermakesagr eement swit houtseeingt hegoods.
Ihadmymengogett hegirl
s.Imadesur et hey
l
ookedasski mpyaspossi ble.Iknowwhatsuch
menwantt osee.Geescannedeachgi r
lwhi l
ehi s
men" sear ched"t hegi rl
s.Thesegi r
lscanact .They
actedal lscar edandpushedt hesemen' shandsof f
them.Somebeggedt obel eggo.Theyact edl ike
girl
swhor eallygotki dnappedandwer eaboutt obe
sol
dtobesexslaves,
conf
usedandscared.Gee
smil
ed,
helookedhappywitht
hepackages.

Gee:"Youareawomanofyourwor d.Mycl i
entswi
ll
l
ovethis.Comecloserthatwecandi scussyour
fees,
myr ul
esandwhatwi llhappenifyoubr eak
anyofthem.Idon'tknowi fyouknowt heamount
Mikegotbutdon'texpectthesame.Idonotusual l
y
dobusinesswithwomenespeci al
lythosewhoused
tobemyst ock,
"hesaidandgotcl oser.Hisphone
rangandhel i
ft
edhisfingerandanswer ed.

Istoodther
ekeepingast r
aightface.I'
m afrai
dof
theman.Mykneesar eshakingandI '
m surpri
sedI
havenotshitmyself
.Whenwi llt
hedamncops
comeoutbecausei t'
shimt heywanted.Geel ooked
atmeandhi sfaci
alexpressionchanged.Iknew
somet hi
ngwaswr ongbutIst il
lhadtokeepabr ave
face.Hedroppedthecallandwal kedclosertome.
Het ookouthi
sgunandpoi nteditst
rai
ghtatme.
Gee:" Yousetmeup, youbi t
ch.I '
llbedamnedi fIgo
topr i
sonbecauseofsomesl ut .I'
dr atherdi ebut
befor ethatIwi llkillyouandal lthesebi t
ches.See
youi nhel l,
"heshout ed.Hi smanhel dgunsonmy
men.It hinkthecopshadbet tercomenow.Why
havet heynotcomeoutgunsbl azi nglikeinal lthe
movi es?Geesor tedhi sgun, puthi sfi
ngeront he
tri
gger .Istoodwi thmyeyescl osedr eadyt odi e.IfI
dieatl eastitwi llbeasaher oandnotapr ostitute.I
thoughtofal lmybeaut i
fulsisters, event he
deceasedoneswhom Iwi llseesoon.Ihear dashot
beingf i
redbutf eltnopai n.Mor eandmor eshot s
wer ef ir
edsoIhadt oopenmydamneyes.Zol a
appr oachedpoi ntingagunatGee.Geewasonhi s
kneeswi thabl eedi nghand.Hi sgunwasata
distancef rom hi m.I twasashoot outbet weent he
copsandGee' smen.Iwentdownt othegr oundf or
safetyr easons.Zol awal kedcl osert oGeel ikeshe
wasi nvinci
ble.Ashotcamef r
om nowher eandhi t
her.Shel ostbal ancebutshef i
nal lygotcl oset o
Geeandshothi m mul tipl
et i
mes.I twasl i
keshej ust
sawGeeandnooneel se.Shel it
erallyempt i
edher
gunonamanIt hinkwasdeadal ready.Shewas
bleedingal otbutlookedatme.Shewasact uall
y
smi l
ing.Shej ustshotamanbuti ssmi l
ing?She
wasaboutt owal kclosertomebutsomeoneshot
heragai nandagai nandagai nuntilshef el
ldown.I
rantoherwi t
houtevent hi
nki
ngofbei ngshot
mysel f.Theshoot i
ngst opped.Iwasscr eamingli
ke
crazy.Kumocamer unningtous.Ididn'
thavear eal
grasponr eal
ityatthatmoment .Myf ocuswason
Zola.Kumomadeacal landIsoonhear dsi r
ens.

Kumo:"
Hel
piscomi
ng,
"

Lulo:
"Whatthef
uckt
ookyousol
ongt
ocomeout
?"
Ishouted.

Kumo:"
Wewer
ewai t
ingforyoutopar
twi
thGee.
Hadwecomei
n,peoplewouldhavedi
ed,
"

Lul
o:"Lookar
oundyou,dammit
.Peopleal
readyar
e
dead.Wheret
hefucki
syourhelp?She'
slosi
ng
bl
ood,
"Ishout
ed.

Kumo:" Herei
t'scomingin.Shesavedyou,Lul
ama.
SheshotGee' shandjustwhenhewasaboutt opul l
thet
rigger.Wedi dn'
tevenknowshewasher e.We
wouldhavemadesur eshedoesnotcomecl ose,"
shesaidrunningt ot
heparamedictotel
lthem hel
p
wasneeded.Il ookedatZolawhowasl osi
ngso
muchbl ood.Itri
edtostopitwi
thmyhandsbut
coul
dn't.

Lulo:"Zola,pleasewakeup.Whatwi l
lItel
lyour
chil
dr en?Pleasedonotdi e,t
heywi l
lhatemef or
havingyouki l
led.Zola,please,please,pl
easedon' t
makemewi t
nessanot herdeat h.Pleasedonot
makeyouwat chyoudi e.Zola!"Ishoutedwhile
crying.Thepar amedicor deredmet ogetof fherbut
Icouldnot .”Zol a!
"Ishout edoutagain."Mama
pleasedon' tdie.Ineedyousomuch.Youst i
llowe
meahug.Iwon' trej
ectyourhugsagai n.Mama,
Mamapl ease, "Isaidinal owwhi sper.Ihavel ost
l
ovedonesbefor
e.Ihavelosta"mother
"butfel
t
not
hing.NowImightl
osemyr ealmot
herandIfel
t
myentir
eworl
dcomecr ushingdown.

Kumogotmeof fherbyl i
ft
ingmeup.Iwassoaked
i
nherbl ood, Ireekedofherbl ood.Apol iceof fi
cer
hadt ocar rymebecausemyl egscoul dn't.I
twas
thefirsttimedeat hsoundedsweet ert hanl i
fefor
me.Al lmyl i
feI '
veonl yknownl oss.Idon' tknow
whati t'
sl i
ket ogai nthings.Nowt hatIgai neda
mot herwhot ookbul letsforme, Imi ghthavel ost
hertoo.Zol a'ssonwi llhateme, si
sterornott hey
wil
lhat emef orhavi ngt heir
,ourmot herki ll
ed.What
wasshet hi
nki ngcomi ngherewi t
houtt hepol i
ce?
Wher et hehel lwasshehi dingifshegott ous
beforet hepol ice?Howonear thwassheabl eto
aimf ort hehandt hathadGee' sguni nitandnot
miss?Ihavesomanyquest ions.Iwast akent othe
hospital.Theysai dshei sstil
lal i
vebuti tlooksbad.
Kumosai dshecal l
edmyf ami l
y.Iknowt heywon' t
evengi vemet hetimeofday.Theyexami nedme
butI'mf inephysi call
ybutnotment all
yand
emot i
onally.Theygotmecl eanedupbutIwant ed
not hi
ngmor ebutj ustt ogocheckonmymot her .I
didnotevenwantt heirdamnpi llsthatwillmakeme
sleepy.Theygavemeahospi talgownandIwas
toldZol aisst il
li ntheat re.WhenIgotoutIf ound
thef ami l
y.Lakhi wewast hefirstonet orunt ome.I
expect edhersl apsandspi tstomyf acebutgota
hugi nstead.SoonIf el
tanevenwar merandt ight er
hug.Li yemaj oinedi nthehughewashuggi nghi s
wif efrom behi nd.Iguessher espect smenot
want ingthem t ot ouchmebutIf el
thisarmsar ound
me.If el
tanot herper sonhugmef rom myl ef tsi de,
i
t'sLungi .If el
tnumbandmyl egsf ail
edmeagai n
butt hey,myf ami l
yhel dmeup.If orthefirstt i
me
allowedmybr ot her 'stoholdme.Thei rtouchwas
kindandgent le.I'm usedt obei ngt ouchedbymen
onl ysexual .Ist oodi nthecent eroft hem andIcr i
ed.
Iwashavi nghotf lashesbecauseIwassur rounded
butIdi dnotwantt hem t oletgo.Isai dasi lent
prayer ,wellatl eastwhatIt hi
nkqual if
iesaspr ayer
formymot her .Itwasmyf i
rstpr ayereversi nceI
havebeenbor n.Eveni fitwasmyl ast,
itwoul dn' t
havebeenwast edbecausei t
'sf ormymot her ,the
womanwhogavemel i
fet
wice.Whenshegave
bir
thtomeandwhenshesavedmefrom abul
let
toni
ght.
[
03/
28,
17:
29]Lynne:FI
FTYSI
X

LULAMA

Twoweeks.Thati showl ongZolahasbeeni na

coma.WhenLakhi wehear dtheent i
restoryabout
whathappeneddur i
ngt heshoot i
ngt hatni ghtshe
askedt oseemepr i
vately.Shetoldmet ogoget
treatmenttopr eventmef rom gett
ingHI V.The
hospi t
alstaffdidofferittomebutIr eject
edi t.I
thoughttherei snowayawomanwhohasbeen
mar ri
edf orsolongandsheal sosaidsheneverhad
al overcouldhaveHI V.SoLakhi wehadt oexpl ai
n
mor e.Shegavemeasummar yofthest ory.Inever
metmyf atherbutIhat ehi sgutsalready.It ookthe
treatmentandnowwehopef orthebest .Itfeels
goodt oknowsomet hingaboutZol at hatherot her
kidsdon't.Iknowi t'
snocompet i
ti
onbutt heyhave
hadheral ltheirli
vesandknowt hingsaboutherI
don' tbutnowIknewsomet hingt heydon' tknow.
I'
vebeenatr i
skofget ti
ngHI Vsi nceIst arted
wor kingasasexwor kerbecausesomecl ients
refusedt ocondomi se.ButluckilyIam st il
lclean,
wel lhopef ully.Ihavehadsever alSTD' sbutal l
cureabl e.Zola'ssisterhasal socomet oseeher .I
actual lylookal otl
iket hem.Ihavenotbeen
reconnect edwi t
hmyownsi ster
syetappar entl
yfor
safet yr easons.Mysi bl
ingsandIsatatt hehospi tal
.
Itwasl ateni ght.Liyemacamef rom hi snight
classesaf ewmi nutesago.Lakhi wef ini
shed
wr i
ttingbuti sstil
lher e.Herbabi esar estil
li n
Peddi e.Awhi temiddl eagedmanwal kedt owar ds
usandKumof oll
owedbehi nd.Hei nt
roduced
himsel fasDavi dCar r.Themanwhohel pedZol a
witht hebust .Liyemashookhi shandt ogi vethe
fami ly'sgratitude.HeaskedushowZol awasand
apol ogi zedforonl yvi si
tingnow.

Carr
:"It
houghtyouf
olksmightdowi
thsomegood
news.SomeofGee'smenthatwemanagedto
arresthavebeensi ngingtothepol i
ceinhopeof
gettinglightersentences.Ihavebeenwor ki
ngmy
assof fthi
spastt woweekswi thmyt eam t orai
dall
thepl acestheysai dtheyoper atedin.Gee'sbrother
andonl yli
vingfami l
ygotar r
estedtoo.Wemanaged
togetal lassociatesinvolvedfrom hospi t
alstaf
f,
policeof fi
cial
s,casinobosses, thewor ks.Youar e
freeatl astandallthankst oZola,"

Lul
o:"
Andt
heot
hergi
rl
s?"Iasked.

Carr
:"Al
lst
il
lsafeandwillbetakentot hei
rfamil
ies
soon.Youdidagreatj
obandI 'm sorr
yweasked
youtoputyourl
ifeonthelinebutitpaidoff"
,he
sai
dwi t
hconfi
dence.

Lulo:"
Yeahbutnotf ormymot her.Thankyoufor
yourhelp,"Isai
dsoftl
ybutsi ncer
ely.Henodded
andwal kedawaysayingwewon' tseehim againhe
i
sof ftohelpotherf
ami l
ies.Somepeopl earejust
superherosinhumanf orm.Ican'timaginethe
deat
hthr
eat
sthi
sCar
rmanmustgetonadai
ly
basi
s.

Li
yema:" I
'm sogladalloft
hisisover.Nowwecan
getbacktonor mal,
"hesaid.Helooksexhaused.
Theywillgobackt onormal.Iwil
lhavetolear
nto
adj
usttoanewl i
fewithnewpeopl e.

Lul
o:"
Thanks,
guysf oreverythi
ng.IknowI 'm apai
n
i
ntheassbutthanksforusingt heli
ttl
epatience
youmustal
lhavelefttocontinuetolerat
ingme,"I
l
ookedatt
hem all
.Liyemast ood.

Liyema:"
Youar eoursi
ster
.Ther
ei snot hingwe
wouldn'
tdoforyou.Wehavet obecl osernowmore
thaneversi
nceourfatheri
sI'
m hidingandwel l
Mmabei nginthecondit
ionshe'
sin,"hel ooked
down.

Lul
o:"
Thanksf
ornothat
ingme,
"hesmi
led.
Li
yema:"Nonofuswoul dhavebeenabletostop
Mmafrom goi
ngthere.Wear ej
ustgladyouare
bot
hali
ve.Nomatterthecondit
ionshewillwakeup
i
n,asl
ongasshe'salive,
"

Lungi:"Pl
usshehasal wayswant edtospendtime
withyou.Idoubtdeathwillstandint
heway.You
don'tknowourmot her
.Diehar d,
"helaughedandI
actuall
ydidtoo.I
tseemsLungii stheblacksheep
i
nt hefamily.Wel
lheshoul dmoveover ,
because
therealbl
acksheephasar r
ived.

Wesatont hebencheswai t
ingforvisi
ti
nghour s
event houghweknowt heywon' tbeanytimesoon.
LakhiweandLi yemasatacr ossfr
om me.Shehad
herlegsoverhi sandt heywoul dtalk,makeeyes
contact,smileandki ss.Theyar ebeauti
fulpeople
andI '
velearnedt hattheirbeautycomesf rom wit
hin.
IwonderhadMi kenott akenme, wouldIhavehada
husbandandki dst oo?Howwoul dmyl if
ehave
turnedout ?Ifigur egoodbecausemybr others
turnedoutgood.Lungist il
lneedst of i
ndhi splace
i
nl if
ebuthehasf oundati
on.Ist i
llhavet obui l
d
foundationf i
rst .MikeandSophi et ookawayso
muchf r
om me.Theoppor t
unitytohavear eal
family.Thechancet ogot othebestschool sand
makesomet hingofmysel f
.Theyst rippedmeof fa
l
ot .Myhear tknowst heyaremyf ami lybutmymi nd
i
st oopr ogrammedi ntobeli
evingIcoul dneverhave
suchaf ami ly.Zol a'
sphoner ang, it
'swi thLi yema.
Hesai dhisf athercal lsZol
awhenhecan.Hewent
somewher epr ivatesoIguessi t
'shi m.If oll
owed
him andIcoul dhearever ythi
ng.Zol a'sphonef el
l
andbr okesoi thadaspeakerpr obl em.Cal l
swer e
takenonl oudspeaker .

Mlu:"
Whatdoyoumeanshegotshott
wodamn
weeksago?It
oldZol
atol
ist
ent
ome.Itseems.
..
,"

Li
yema:"
Idon'
thaveti
metoli
stentothi
s.Cal
lwhen
Mma'sawake,
"hecuthi
sfat
hershort
.Hesounded
angr
y.It
hinkhei
snotaf
anofourf
ather
.

Mlu:"
Isweart
ogodifmywi
fedi
esbecauseof
somegir
lIwil
l.
..
,"

Lul
o:"Youwi l
lwhat,
huh?Trytokil
lmeagai
nsince
youfai
ledtothefi
rstti
me?.You'
reapi
eceofshit
andmymot herdeservesmorethanadamnpiece
ofshi
t,
"Isaid.

Mlu:"
Whothehel
ldoyouthi
nkyouar
e,gi
rl
y?"I
coul
dheart
heangeri
nhisvoi
ce.

Lulo:"
Comeaskmet hattomydamnf ace.You
damncowar d.It
'seasyf oryout or
equestabor t
ions
andalsokillawomanbutwhenyouhavet oface
theshityouruni ntoyourhol e.Comeaskmet hatto
myf aceandI '
llt
ellyouwhot hehellIam.Your
damnwi femi ghtdiebutal lyoucareabouti sher
defyi
ngyou.Man, got ohell.Damnsper m bank.You
arenotaf ather
'sbackside.
.."Ishouted.Thelineon
theothersidewentdead.Li yemal ookedatmel i
keI
commi tt
edacr ime."Isaidwhatyouwer ethinki
ng
butlucki
lyIwasnotr aisedtor espectelder
seven
whent heythrowshitatmel i
keyouwer e,
"Ipoint
ed
athi
m andhej ustl
aughedsof t
ly.

Liyema:"I'
mjustwonder i
ngifyouandourgranny
willgetal
ongbecauseyout wodonotbi t
eyour
tongues.Iimaginepersonal
it
yclashes,
"Il
aughed
softl
y."So,t
herapy?"Il
ookedathim.

Lul
o:"
Wil
lithel
p?"

Liyema:"Itwon'
terasethememoriesbutitwill
teachyouhowt odealwit
hthepain,t
hegr i
ef,
the
angerandper hapsgiveyouwayst ochannelall
thoseemot i
onsintosomethingt
hatwi l
lhel
pyou,"
hel ookedatme.
Lul
o:"
CanIr
eal
lyt
rustyou,
Liyema?
"

Liyema:" Letmyact i
onsconvi nceyoubecause
wor dsar eusel ess.Iknowmenl etyoudownbut
mysel fandLungi l
ear enott hem.Wedon' twantt o
abuseyou, justprotectyou.Sodet ermi nebyour
actionsandhowyouf eel aroundusi fyoucant rust
us,"hesmi led.Theydon' thaveabadener gyatal l
.
"Everyt hi
ngwi l
lbedoneatyourpace.You' llmeet
ourf ather '
sextendedf ami l
yonyourt i
me.Mmaonl y
hasMakazi .Wewi l
lwor katyourpaceandyour
ti
me.I fthereisanyt hingIl earnedf r
om bei ng
mar riedt oawomanwi thadi ffi
cultpastist hatI
needt oletherbr eathandshewi lleit
hert ellorshow
mewhatsheneeds.I fIpusht hatshedoest hi
sand
thatsheget sangry.Sowhenyouar er eadyf or
therapy, tellus,"hesmi led.

Lul
o:"Whati
fshedi
es,
wil
lyoust
il
lbet
hisgent
le
andcari
ng?"
Li
yema:"I
'
dbecrushedbutIwon'
tbl
ameyou.I
'
d
act
ual
lybemor
esadf oryou,
"

Lul
o:"
Howcome?
"

Liyema:"Becauseyouwoul dn'tgetachancetoget
toknowher .Sheisstrongyetgentle.Tobehonest
withyouitwasasi fMmawasasi nglemother
thoughTawashome.Hewasnotpr esent
.Soyou
aren'
tmissingoutmuchf rom him notbeinginyour
l
ifebecausewedon' tknowhi m eit
her.Idoprayyou
gettoknowMmabecauseshei sagoodper son.
Overprot
ectivebutthebest.Shouldshedie,Iwant
youtoknowi t
'snotyourfaul
t,
"

Lulo:
"Howcanyoubesosure?Shewentt
her
e
becauseofme,
"henoddedsl
owly.

Li
yema:"
Let'
ssi
tdownforamoment
,"heof
fered
measeatandwesat."
Youknowwehadanother
sisterwhodi edinacarcr ashbutwenevert oldyou
howt heaccidenthappened.Iwasdr i
vingthecar .
Lulonkegoti ntotroubl
e,Iwasf orcedtopickherup
withoutt heparentsknowing.Soonourwayadr unk
drivercrashedintous.Shedi edont hescene.For
year sIblamedmysel fforit
.Wonder ingwhatIcoul d
havedonedi ff
erentl
ytohaveavoi dedthecr ashbut
IrealizedthatIdideveryt
hingright.I
twast heother
driverwhowaswr ongandIhadnocont r
oloverthat
driver,"

Lulo:"
LikeIhadnocontroloverZol
abei
ngt
her
e
thatni
ght?"Iaskedsof
tl
y.

Liyema:"Exact
ly.Youdidever
ythi
ngri
ghtandMma
toobutitwasunf or
tunat
ethatshegothur
t.SoI
'
m
notgoingtoblameyoushoul dshedi
e,"

Lul
o:"
Areyouhopi
ngtofindheri
nme?
"hel
ooked
atme."
Lul
onke"
,Iadded.
Liyema:"I
'm hopi
ngtofindyouoncethosewalls
aroundyourheartbreakalit
tl
e.Idon'
tevenli
kethat
youwer enamedaf t
erher.Sowhatwillyougoby?
Wi l
lyoutakeoursurname?WhodoesyourI D
current
lysayyouare?"

Lulo:"Idon'thaveone.Iwascal ledLulamagrowing
upandgotmyt radenameBl ueDi amondwhenI
start
edwor ki
ng.Idon'
twantt oliveintheshadowof
adeadper sonsoIdon'twantt obecal l
edLulonke.I
al
sodon' twantLulamaBecauseMi keandSophi e
gaveitt ome,"Isaidsoft
ly.I
t'
st helongest
conver sati
onI'
vehadwi t
hhim.

Lungi
:"Thennameyourself
.Creat
eyourown
i
denti
ty,
"hesaidwhi
lestandingatthedoor
."Sorr
y
si
sLakhiwegotworr
iedandsai dIshoul
dlookfor
you,
"headded.
Lul
o:"She'
smuchyoungert
hanyout
houghsowhy
cal
lherSisi
?"

Lungi:"Becausesheismarr
iedtot hatbi
gguyand
heismyol derbr
other
.Youwil
llearnhowourf ami
ly
doest hi
ngswhenyougot othegr andparent
s
house,"

Lul
o:"
Rul
es,
I'
m notgoodwi
tht
hose"

Liyema:" I
t'
snotrules.It'
souri dentit
y.It
'sour
culturepassedont ousbyourf orefat
hers.
Obvi ousl
yyoudon' thavet oadoptal lcustoms
becauset herearesomewedon' tmainlybecause
theydon'tspeakt ousi ndividuall
ybutthent her
eare
thosef amil
yonest hatgi veyouasenseof
belonging.Asenseofpr idei nwhoyouar e.I
t'
suni
ty.
Thosewayst eachyout obeahumanbei ngwi t
h
respectandhumani t
y.Soi t'
snotrulesbecause
honest l
yyou'renotforcedt ol i
veaccordingto
culturebutIfeeli
t'
simpor tantto.Letmel eaveyou
t
wo,
"hest
oodupandwentt
othedoor
.

Lulo:"Hey,
"hel ookedback."I'
l
ltaket hatr
ealhug
now,"hesmi l
ed.Het ur
nedbackandIhuggedhi m.
Hewr appedhi sarmsar oundmyshoul dersandi
t
wast hefir
strealhugIgotf rom aman.Webr oke
thehugandLungi lewantedhistoo.Ther ewas
absolutel
ynothi ngsexualabouttheirhugs.Nonof
them brushedmybacksl owlywhi l
ehuggi ngme.It
wassweet .

Lungi
:"SoIwasthinki
ngNopopiorTamar
aforyour
newname,"hejokedandIl
aughed.

Lul
o:"Fuckno.I
tmustbeyoungandcurr
ent
.Sotel
l
mewhatdoesLungidootherthangi
vehi
smothera
headache?"

Lungi:"
Ohno,Li
yematur
nedyouintoatypi
calbi
g
si
steralr
eadywhenIt
houghtyou'
dbefun"he
f
rowned.

Lulo: "
Takei tfrom someonewhoset imegotwast ed
byot hers, Lungil
e.Youdon' twantt obemyageand
havenot hing.Youhaveal lthehel pr ighti
nfrontof
you.Funandgi rlswon'tdisappear .Fixyourlif
e
becauseyouwi llbli
nkandyou' llbeanol dmanwi th
regrets.Liyemai sexhaust edbecausehehasbeen
upanddownwi t
hZol alookingf orme.Hedoesn' t
sayi tbutheneedsyoubuthei saf raidyou'l
llethi
m
downbecauseyout akenot hingser ious.Hehas
youguysandhi sownf ami lytol ookaf ter
.Giveour
olderbr otherabr eaksomet imes, "

Lungi
:"Ihearyoubutyouol
der
,"

Lulo:"I
'
lll
ethi
m holdontotheti
tl
e.Nowt hatI
'm
fr
eeIwantt otakebackal
ltheyearsofchil
dhoodI
l
ost ,
"
Lungi
:"Doyouthi
nkabouti
t?Theni
ght
syousl
ept
wit
hallthosemen?"

Lulo:"
That'
sformeandmyther
apist,
buddy.Fi
x
yourownlif
e.Yourdadi
sanassholebytheway,
"
helaughed.

Lungi
:"Ri
ght
?I'
m gl
adsomeonesai
dit
,"hel
aughed.

Wewentbackt other estandLakhi wewasso

happyt ohearherchi l
dr enwi llbebackbyt omorrow.
Sher eal
lymi ssedt hem, suchamot her .Itold
Li
yemaI '
llt
akehi sof ferofat herapistandwehada
fi
stbumpt osealt hedeal .Ifeell
ikehei solderthan
met hough.IfonlyLungiknewIwon' tf
or getthe
moment sIhadt osl eepwi t
hdi ff
erentmenona
dail
ybasi sbutlif
egoeson.I '
m hopi ngt herapydoes
i
tforme.Zol ast i
llhasnotwokenup.It hinkshei s
nowj ustbeingdr amat i
c, OkayIt akenthatback.
Shegotshotf ourtimessoi t
'sami r
acleshe' salive
sti
ll
.Wedeci dedt ogobackhomeandr eturn
tomor r
ow.Nonofuswant edtosl eepsoIhel ped
Lakhiwemakehotchocol ate.Idon' tli
kethatshe
hast oser veusjustbecauseshei smar ri
edtoour
brother.Ther ewasaknockont hedoorandwe
hatedthatsomeonevi sitssolate.I '
m atLiyemaand
Lakhiwe' shouseunt i
lZolacomesf rom hospi
tal.
Kumoappear edwithabi gsmi l
e.SoonThando,
Wendy, Vivi
an,ZaneleandI mani ,mysi ster
s
appeared.Tear sjustrol
leddownmyf aceandt hey
rantome.Wej usthuggedeachot herforthe
l
ongestt i
mewhi lecryi
ng.Imi ssedt hem somuch.I
l
ovet hem somuch.Il ookedateachoft hem to
checkift heyare"whole"asI '
vedonewhenevert hey
camef rom seeingcl i
ents.Theyl ooksobeaut iful
.I
i
ntroducedt hem t
omyf amilyandt hefamilygave
usspace.

Thando:"
Iwi
shCatheldonjustal
it
tl
ewhil
elonger
.
She'
dbeherenowwithus,f
ree,
"shecri
ed.

Lul
o:"
Act
ual
lyhadCatnotdonewhatshedi
d,I
wouldneverhavegot
tenachancetot al
ktothe
cops.Shemadeallofthi
spossi
ble.Ipromisedt
o
fr
eeyouguysbutCatfreedus,
"

Imani:"Iactual
lyhaveafami l
y.Iwil
lmeetthem
tomorrow.Appar ent
lymyr ealnameisEntl
eTom.I
gottakenf r
om thehospi
talinPretor
iar
ightaft
erI
wasbor n,"shewipedhertearsoff.

Zanele:"I
'm Por
ti
aDamon, myparentsar
erighthere
i
nCapeTown.I texpl
ainswhysomanyt houghtI'
m
coloured,i
t'
sbecauseIam.Igottakenduri
nga
hij
acking.Theytookmyf at
her
'scarandme,"

Wendy:"
I'm SamkelwaKhumalo.Mysist
ertookme
t
othecli
nicwi thher
,anurset
ookmet oaprivat
e
r
oom toexami nemebutneverret
urnedwit
hme.
I
'mfrom KwaZul uNatal
,
"

Vi
v:"
I'
m Si
yasandaGodol
a,wasal
sot
akenf
rom t
he
hospi
talr
ightaf
terbi
rt
h.I
'
mfr
om EastLondon,
"

Thando:"I
'm UnathiMasemola.Apparent
ly
ori
ginal
lyfr
om Zimbabwe.Mypar ent
smovedt o
SouthAfri
catofindwor k.Iwastakenbyawoman
whoof f
eredmymot herajobbutsheneverret
urned
wit
hme, "

Lulo:"I
'
m LulonkeElephant.Youarenowinmy
brother'
shouse.Mikewasmymot her'
suncl
eand
hest ol
emef rom mygr andmother
,"

Viv:"
Howwi llwegetusedtothesenewi dent
it
ies
andlivesguys?Forthel
ongestti
mewet houghtwe
werewhoMi kesai
dwewer e.Nowwehavef amil
ies
eagil
ywaiti
ngt omeetus.Wedon' tknowthem orif
wecanevent r
ustt
hem.Lulama, howisitsofarfor
you?,
"

Lul
o:"
It
'st
ough.Isnapatt
hem andber
udeatt
hem
whent heywantt ohel p.Igavemybr other'shugs
forthefirsttimetoday, realhugsbecauseyouknow
allmenwant edf r
om uswassex.I t'sstrangef ora
mannott owantsexf r
om me.It houghtIhat edmy
mot herbutherbei ngi nhospi talprovedmewr ong.I
wantheral ive.Soal lIdoi ttakeitadayatat i
me.
WhatIknowi sthatyouwi llhatethem al latfi
rst
,
especiall
yt hesiblingswhohadl i
vedal i
feyoual so
shouldhavehadbutsoonyou' lll
earnit'snottheir
faul
t.Wewi llal
wayshaveabondwewi l
lnever
sharewi thourrealsi bli
ngs.Weseenand
experiencedshi ttheycanonl yimagi ne,"Icri
ed.

Thando:"
IwishCathywashere.Imisshersomuch.
Wehaven'tseenyoutwoforsolong.Thi
ngsatt
hat
brot
helwerehard,
"shebr
okedown.

Lulo:"I
'm sorr
y,honey.I
'm suretheywerebutwe
arefreenow.I '
mjustthankfulnonofusgotf ed
drugsort hi
swoul dhavebeenanevenhar der
j
our ney.I
'm sohappyyouar eallsafe.Il
oveyou
guyssomuch,
"wehel
deachot
her
.

Theyar esafeandi nmyar ms.Mybabysi sters.

Lakhiwecamewi thhotchocol ateforallofusand
askedaquest ionIdi dn'
texpect .Sheaskedi fthey
willbesleepingoversoshe' dar rangear oom f orus.
Weal lnoddedqui ckl yandt hankedhersomany
ti
mes.I sthiswomananangelonear t
h?I t
'slikeshe
knewIwant edt i
mewi ththem bef oretheirfami li
es
comef orthem.I twi l
ltaketimet ogetusedt othe
newnamesorr atherol dorigi
nalnames.Lakhi we
andImadea" christmasbed"f orusal ltosleepon.I
hadt ohughert othankher .Shesai dsnacksand
foodar eintheki t
chenshoul dwewantanyandt hen
wentt oherbedr oom.SheandLi yemaneedt ime
awayaf terthis.IfIhadmoneyI '
dpayf orit
.Iwent
togetthesnacksandwesatupal lnighttalking
aboutwayst omeetsowedon' tbecomest ranger s
toeachot her.I twasgoodt ohavet hem al l
,wel lnot
allbutthosewhoar eherewi thme.Weeven
l
aughed.Idon' tknowwhenwef ellasleepbutwhen
Iopenedmyeyesi twasnoonal ready.Kumo
unfortunatel
yhadt ogowi tht hem.Iwentwi th.The
bigsisterinmewant edtomeett heirfami l
iest oo.
Whenwear ri
vedatt hepol icest ati
oni twasj ust
tearsandsomemot hersevencol l
apsed.I twas
beautifulyetsosadt hatsuchamomenthadt o
existbecausesomepeopl ef indi tokayt ost eal
babies.Onceemot ionswer eabi tdown, wegott o
i
nt r
oduct i
onspr operly.Theyal ll
ookedl ikeni ce
people.Eachf ami l
yspoket ot hechi ldtheyl astsaw
asababy.Hour swentbyandi twast imef ort hem
togo.Weexchangedcont actdet ail
s.Wehugged
andcr iedforabout30mi nut esbef orefinallyletti
ng
go.Myhear tisbrokenandhappyatt hesamet i
me.
Kumot ookmet ot hehospi talbecauseshesai dmy
brotherswant edhert otakemet her e.I'
m sur eZol a
died.Icriedmyeyesoutont hewayt ooand
preparedmysel f.WhenIar ri
vedIwast akent ot he
room shewasi n.Ifoundt hef ami l
ysur roundi ngher
bed.Lungit ookmyhandandZol ahadhereyes
open.

Lungi
:"Di
ehar
d,It
oldyou,
"hesai
dandIl
aughed
bet
weent
ear
s.

Li
yema:"Shecan'
ttal
kyetbutshehearsus,
"he
sai
d.Il
ookedatZolaandshecurvedherli
psto
smil
e.Icoul
dseeshe'si
npain.

Lulo:"
Hi,Zola.I'
m sogladyou'reawake.It'
sbeen
twoweeksofhel l
.Wedi dit
,thosebastardsare
behindbars.ExceptforGeebecauseyouki l
ledhi
m.
Thankyouf oreverythi
ng.I'
m alsosorr
yf or
everyt
hing.I
si tokayifIhuggedher?"Ilookedat
Liyema.

Zolasi
gnal edt hatwesi therupst raight.Wecall
ed
anursefort hatbecauset helastthingwewanti sto
sentherintoanot hercoma.Sher aisedherhandsa
bitf
orthehug.Igavemymot herthef ir
sthugever
anditfel
tright .Ifeltl
ikeIbel
ongedf orthefir
stt
ime.
Shecouldn' thugbackbecauseshecan' trai
seher
armsmuchl etalonewr apthem aroundmebutI
knowshe' shuggi ngmeback.I 'm stil
lhurti
ng
very,
verymuchandi t'
sapai nI'm notsur ewi l
lgo
awaybutmyl if
enowi sbet t
erthani twasamont h
ago.IguesswhatIdowi ththechangei supt ome.I
wantabet t
erl i
feevenwhenmypasti sdar k.I'
ll
fi
ghtmyowndemonst ogett hatbetterlife.I'
ve
alwaysbeenaf i
ghter.Mysi stersaresaf etooandI
knowt heywilll
ookt omeasanexampl eofhowt o
adjusttoournewl ives.Iwantt omaket hem seei t
's
possiblet
hroughme.Wewi llseeeachot heras
oftenaswecan.I '
l
lseeZanel emostsi nceshe' sin
CapeTownt oo.Ican'tbelievewear efinal l
yfree.
WhatdoIdowi t
hthef reedom?
[
03/
28,
17:
30]Lynne:FI
FTYSEVEN

LULAMA

Zolahavi
ngwokenuphasbeent hebest.Iwouldn'
t
havesurvi
vedherdeat hforvariousreasons.She's
sti
lli
nhospitalunabl
etowal k.Sheisnotpar al
yzed
butshewillneedphysiot
herapyt obeabl et
ouse
herlegsagain.Shedoesn'tspeakmuchyetei t
her
duet otheoper ationonherneck.Thedoct orsar e
hopef ulthough.Mysi stersandIcal leachot her
everyday.Asexpect edt heyf i
ndi tdif
fi
cul ttoset tl
e
i
n.Wehaveal lbeent akingi tadayatat ime.I '
m st i
ll
l
ocki ngmysel fi nmyr oom andwantnot hingtodo
wi t
hmyf ami l
ybutt heyhavebeenpat ient.I'vebeen
tryi
ngwi thZol a, IreallyhavebutI 'm sti
llstruggling.
Todaywi llbemyf i
rstmeet ingwi thMrsB,
Lakhi we'
st herapi st.Iwi llt
akei tasitcomes.I 'l
lalso
bemeet i
ngmynephewsf orthever yfi
rstt ime.Thei r
returngotdel ayedbyaweekbecauseLakhi we'
s
grandpar entsaskedf ormor etimewi tht hem.
Lakhi weandLungihavegonet oPeddi et ogett hem.
Iactuallymi sst hem al r
eady.I '
vebeenal onewi th
LiyemaandIadmi ttol ockingmydooratni ghtjust
i
ncase.Hedr ovemet oMr sB'sof fi
ceandIam
nervous.

Li
yema:"
Shoul
dIwai
tout
sidef
oryou?
",heasked.

Lul
o:"
Act
ual
lygohaveabeer
,bi
gbr
other
.Youneed
t
ochil
labi
t,
"helaughedsof
tl
y.Thef
ir
stmanI
'
m
l
ear
ningt
otrust
.

Li
yema:"I'
l
lgograbsomecar rotjuiceinst
ead.My
bodyiscl
osetogivingup.I'
llalsogoandt akeanap
si
ncetheboyswillbehomesoon.I t'
l
lbeamad
housebutyouwil
lseef oryourself.Seeyoui nt
wo
hours,
"hesmil
ed.

Lul
o:"Iknowyou'
llbeparkedherethi
rt
yminutes
bef
oremyt i
meisup.You' vebecomepredi
ctabl
e,
MrElephant
,"webothlaughed.

Li
yema:"
IknowI
'
m bor
ing,
"

Lulo:"Idi
dnotsayboring.Youarejustsaf
e,"I
smi l
ed.Iopenedt
hedoorandwasaboutt ogobut
hehel dmyhand.Iactuall
ydidn'
tputdefenceson
becauseitwasinnocent.Il
ookedathim.
Li
yema:"I
'm pr
oudofyou,
"hesmi
led.Inoddedand
walkedi
nsi
dethebui
ldi
ng.

Noonehaseverbeenpr oudofme.Mybr otheris

andhi m sayingi tleftafuzzyf eeli
nginsidemyhear t.
Ididn'twantmyhandhel dwhengoi ngtomy
therapist.Iwantedt hati ndependenceIneverhad.
Peoplel ookedatme, smi l
edandgr eeted.Itfelt
strangebecausebef orepeopl elookedatmeand
spatatmeori nsultedmebutnotnow.Iwentt othe
receptionistwhowant edknowwhatIusef ormy
skin.Itoldherwat erandsoaponl y.Shedi rected
met ot heper sonI'm her etosee.Al ovelylady
appear ed.AboutZol a'sage.Shegr eetedmeand
i
nvi t
edmei nherof fi
ce.Itlookedmor elikeal ounge
thananof fi
cebutokay.Mr sBam i nt
roducedher sel
f
andIdi dt oo.Shet oldmet obecomf ort
able.She
fi
rstmadesmal ltalkandIt al
kedback.

MrsB:"
Ihaveafeel
ingt
hatI
'mtal
kingt
oaper
son
whoknowswhattheywant
.Youknowwhyyoutook
thi
sleapt ocomet alktome.Iknowi ttakesalotof
courage.I'
llbemakingnot esaswet al
kbecauseI
wantt okeepeverythinginmymemor y.Shouldyou
feeluncomf or
tabl
epl easedon'tbeafr
aidtoletme
know.Firstlyt
ellmewhatbr ingsyouher e?
"she
l
ookedatme.

Lul
o:"
Togetyourhel
pobvi
ousl
y,
"Isai
d
sar
cast
ical
ly.

MrsB:"
Iknowt hatbutIwantt
oherewhatyouneed
hel
pwit
hfir
st.Iwanttogetabett
erunder
standi
ng
ofwhoyouareandwhatwear edeali
ngwith,
"

Lulo:
"Fi
rst
lyIwantt oknowifyouarequalif
iedin
tr
aumacounsel l
ing.Idon'
twanttotal
ktosome
bogusther
apistwhoonl ymil
ksmybr otherdry,
"I
saidwit
hatti
tudeandshesmi led.

Mr
sB:"
Okay,
I'
m aqual
if
iedt
raumacounci
ll
or.I
'
ve
att
endedsever alt
raumacounsel l
ingworkshops.
I'
veinternedatvar i
oustraumacent r
esbefore
workingher e.Youar ef
reetochecksomeofmy
quali
ficati
onsont hewallovert here,
"shepointed
behindme.Ist oodupwi t
hconf idenceandwentt o
check.IdidnotknowwhatI '
ml ookingat
.Icanr ead
butI'
lljustt
akeherwor df orit
.Isatbackdown.

Lul
o: "
Haveyoudealtwit
hyourownt r
aumaifyou
haveany?Thelastt
hingIwanti sforyout
odr ag
mei nt
oyourtr
aumat oojustbecauseyoudidn't
dealwithi
t,
"Il
ookedather.

Mr sB:"Yes,I
'
vegonet other
apysever
alti
mesi nt
he
past.Don'tworr
y,Ihavedeal
twit
hmyt raumaina
healthyway.I'
dli
ketohelpyougettothatpoi
nt
too,"

Lul
o:"
Whatt
ypeoft
rauma?
"If
oldedmyar
ms.
Mr sB:"I'l
ltellyouinoneofourot hermeet i
ngs.
Today'sonei fformet oknowyoubet ter.Iloveyour
questionst heypr ovethatyouar eani ntell
igent
youngl ady.Mostdon' tbothertoaski fI'
m qual ifi
ed
tohelpt hem t hroughthisj
our ney.Iliket hatyou
fi
rstwant edt oknowi fIwon' tleadyoudeeperi ntoa
darkpi t
.Tellmeaboutyourmoodspl ease.Iknow
moodschangef rom t
imet otime.Justgi vemean
overallviewofyourmood, "Ilookedather ."Not hi
ng
youshar ewi thmewi l
lleavet hisroom.I fyouf ear
I'
llt
ellyourf ami l
ydon't,
"shesai dsof tly.Ieasedi nto
thecouch.

Lulo:"
Mygener
almoodI'
dsayisconfusi
on.Every
othermoodhi
desundert
heconfusi
onumbr el
la,
"I
saidinawhi
sper
.Shewrotedownsomething.

MrsB:"
Tellmemor eaboutwhatt
hatmeanspl
ease.
Whyareyoufeel
ingconfusedmoret
hananyt
hing
el
se?
"
Lul
o:"BecauseInolongerknowwhoIam.Evenas
aprosti
tut
e,Iatl
easthadanident
it
y.NowIf
eel
l
ost,
"

MrsB:"Whatdoyout hi
nkneedstohappenforyou
tof
indthatident
it
yyouseek?Ifyouhadamagic
wandwhatwoul dyouchange?"Itookadeepbreat
h
andexhaled.

Lulo:"IfIhadamagi cwandIwoul derase

everythingofmypast .Iwouldn'
tevenbeher e
needingyourhel p.Iwoul dhavebeent r
avel
ingthe
wor l
d,per hapswithahusbandandabunchofki ds.
Iwoul dn'tbehere.Iwouldknowmypl aceinthe
Elephantf amil
y.Liyemai sthefamil
ybackbone.
Lungievenast heblacksheetatleasthashismar k
too.Ijustdon'tfeell
ikeIbelongwiththem,"

Mr sB:"Di
dMikegiveyouasenseofbel ongi
ng?"
herquesti
onhi
tdeep.Ist
artedtocry."
Ifyouarenot
readyt
oanswer,i
t'
sokay,"sheaddedandgaveme
at
issue.

Lul
o:"
Iwantt
oanswer
,"Isai
dbet
weensni
ff
ing.

MrsB:"Takeyourt
ime,
"shesai
dwi
thsuch
ki
ndnessinhervoi
ce.

Lulo: "
It
'sactuallysi.
..si.
..
sickthatIhadasenseof
belongingwi thhim.Whatvi ct
im ofhuman
traff
ickingsayst hat?Wi thMi keIwasBl .
..
Blue
Diamond.Iwashi s..
.hisbestgi r
l.Ihadt hatidenti
ty
andIt houghtI '
df eelfreewhenIl oseitbut..
.butI
feelsonaked. ..Ifeelmor enakednowt hanIdi d
wi t
hanyman.Idonotknowhowt ofi
ndmysel f
,"I
brokedown.Shewai t
edf ormet ocal m down.

MrsB:"
Whenyourfami
lyt
alksaboutyou,
whi
ch
i
dent
it
ydoyoufeel
theygi
veyou?"
Lul
o:"Asist
er,adaughter,
anaunt,agranddaught
er
andallt
heothertypi
calfamil
yti
tl
es,"Icl
eanedmy
nose.

Mr
sB:"
Howdoest
hatmakeyouf
eel
?",

Lulo:
"Pr essur
edbecauseIfi
nditdi
ff
icul
ttoi
dent
if
y
asthat.Iwantt oseemysel
fastheydobutI'
m
str
ugglingsomuch.Idon'tknowwhyIcan'tj
ustf
all
i
ntother oles,
"

Mr sB:"Maybeyouneedt of i
rstfi
llther ol
eofwho
youar et
oyourselff
irstbeforeyoucanknowwho
youar ei
notherpeople'sl
ives.Whenyoucamei n
youment i
onedIshoul dn'
tbecomf ortablewi
th
call
ingyouLulamabecauseyouwi llbechangingi
t
soon.Couldthatper
hapsbet hefirststepto
creati
nganidenti
tyforyourself?

Lul
o:"
Idon'
tknow.MaybeonceIhavenamed
myselfandtakensomecontrolovermylif
e,I
'l
lhave
somesenseofi dent
it
y.I
'
llt
aketheirsur
name, I
'm
anElephantbutIdonotwanttheirname.I
'm not
Lul
onke,"Ibl
ewmynose.

MrsB:"Haveyouthoughtofnamesyet
?"Il
ooked
ather
.Iact
ual
lyhavebutnonspeaktome.

Lul
o:"
Notyet
,"Iwasnotconf
identenought
oshar
e
yet
.

Mr sB:"Howaboutyouli
stallthenamesyou've
thoughtofsofar.Wecanchooset oget
her,
"Ismil
ed
andnodded."Wouldyouliketotel
lmemor eabout
whatlif
ewasl i
kewit
hMi keandhiswi f
e?"her
questi
onmademymoodchange.I '
m hereforhel
p
thoughsoI'l
lanswer
.

Lul
o:"Itwashell
.Wel
lthef
ir
st15yearswerenor
mal
Iguess.Butaf
termy16thbi
rthdayt
hingbecame
wor seandnevergotbet t
eragai n.Therewasat ime
i
nmyt wenti
eswhent heymademeseet encl ients
ont hesameday.Icoul dn' tf eelmyl egsafterwar ds
andmypr i
vateswer eonf ire.Sophi emademesi t
onabucketwi thhotwat er .Sayi ngthesteam woul d
easet hepainbutIwoul dneverf orgetthesting
causedbyt hatst eam onmyal r
eadysor evigina.I
oncer efusedacl i
entsr equestandendedupwi th
brokenr ibsallthankst oMi ke.Lifewiththem was
hell
.Ilivedinhel lonadai l
ybasi s.Therewer e
nightsmysi sterscouldn' tdot heirj
obbecauset hey
couldn'tstayst rong.Ast heol deroneIassi st ed
thei
rcl i
entst olessent hei rpai n,
"Isaidwhi l
el ooking
ather.Shecoul dn'tcont ainherownt earsand
apologized.Idi dn'thaveapr oblem wi t
hhercr yi
ng.
Ifanythingitshowedmeshehasahear t
.

Wespokemor eandIwasact uallysurpr

isedthatwe
hadaconversati
on.Itwaseasierwithhersince
she'
sast r
anger
.Shemademeopenmyt hought
s
andfeel
ingstoher.Icr
iedandcriedbutshewai ted
formetocoll
ectmyself.Sheaskedmewhatmakes
mef eelbetterbutIt oldhernot hing.It
hinkshe
challengedmet of indt hatsomet hingandusei tas
anescape.Isur prisinglyf el
tbetteraft
erthef i
rst
sessi on.Itoldherthi ngsIcoul dnevertellmyf ami l
y
becausesomet hingswoul dbetoodeepf ortheir
fr
agi lehearts.WhenIwasdoneIf oundmybr other
wai t
ingasIexpect ed.Het ookmeoutf oricecr eam
andIwentt oseeamovi eatthecinemaf orthef i
rst
ti
me.Wewat chedcomedyandl aughedourasses
off.Today' sdaywasnotbadatal l
.Wedr ovet othe
hospi talandgotgr eatnews.Zol awoul dbe
dischar gedt omorrow.Wear r
ivedandf oundher
si
t t
ingup.Shel ooksst r onger.Shesmi l
edwhenshe
sawus.

Zola:"
DidyouhearIcangohomet
omor
row?
"she
askedinalowvoice.

Lul
o: "
Withthef
eesthesepeopl
echar
ge,onewoul
d
thi
nktheywouldperfor
m aheal
ingmi
racl
eonyou,
"
shelaughedbutfel
tpainsoshehadt
ostop."
I'
m
sorr
y.Also,
Zol ayourmanhasnotcal
led.It
'smy
faul
t,I
'
m sorry.Itol
dhim hei
sshi
t,
"Iconfessed.
ShelookedatLi yema.

Li
yema:"Hei
ssulki
ng.Nochi
ldcal
ledhi
mthat
bef
ore.Hewi
llcal
l,
"

Zola:"
Lethim wor
ryabouthimsel
f.Howwasyour
fi
rstsessi
on?"shelookedatme.

Lulo:"Okay.I
'm notheal
edfrom mypasttr
aumabut
i
twasokay.Look, Zol
aIstil
lhaveal
ongwaybef or
e
Iforgiveyouguys.Ireal
lydoandIwon'tpr
etend
l
ikeI'veforgi
ven,"

Zol
a:"
Takeyourt
ime.I
'
mjusthappyt
hatyouar
e
her
e,t
hat
'sal
l,
"

Lul
o:"
Soar
ewegoi
ngbackt
oyourhouse
t
omor
row?
"

Li
yema:"Youguyswil
lst
aywi
thusunt
ilMmahas
heal
ed,
"hesaidqui
ckl
y.

Zola:"
No,Ndoda.Weneedt ogiveyouandLakhiwe
ti
met obreat
h.Makaziwil
ltakeusin.Therei
sno
malefigur
esoLulowillbeateasethere.Makazi
wasanur sesoI'
mingoodhands, "

Lul
o:"I
'm okaywiththat.Becauseyourhousedoes
nothavemanyr ooms, Liyema.I'
l
lneedaroom of
myownf orprivacy,
I'
m notbeingdemandi ngI
'
m
j
ust.
..
,"

Liyema:"Iunderstandbutwewillcomevi
sitas
oftenaspossible.Theboysarecomingbacklater
.
I'
l
lbringthem overtoMakazi'
stomor r
ow,
"Zola
smi l
ed.
Zol
a:"I
'vemissedthem somuch.Willyour
eall
ybe
comfortabl
e?Youcanst ayatLi
yema'sunt
ilI
'
m
bet
ter,
"Ismiled.

Lulo:"Iactual
lywanttobeclosetoyou,
".Isai
d.I
reall
ydowantt obeclosetoher
.Iwanttogetas
muchl oveandaffect
ionfr
om her.Maybeitfi
llf
il
l
someoft hecracksinmysoul.

Zol
a:"Ndoda,t
hankyouf oreveryt
hing.Nowyou
canfocusonyoursel
f.Pleaserefi
llmyjarwi
th
waterbutnott
apwat er
,"sheaskedLiyema.He
wentouttobuybottl
edwat er
.

Lulo:"
Lakhiwetol
dmeaboutyourstatus.Only
becauseshehadt osi
nceItouchedyourblood.I'
m
sti
llwai
ti
ngt ochecki
fthepi
ll
sarewor ki
ng.Ihate
thatamanwhowassupposedt oprotectandlove
youdidthis,
"
Zol
a:"Pl
easedonothar
borhat
eforMl
ungi
si.Hei
s
notwort
hit,
"

Lulo:"Ial
sosuspectyougotyourr evenge.Ireadup
onhi scaseandther el
ationshipwiththi
swoman.I t
wasj usttooconveni
enthowt heevidencejust
pointedtohim.Imeanhe' sasmar tmanwhoknows
thelaw.Therewasnowayhewoul dhideevidence
forweeksaf t
erakill
ing.Ireadhesai dhedidnot
knowwher et
heguncamef rom.Youar eclosestto
him.Isuspectyoupl anteditther
e,"shejustlooked
atme.

Zol
a:"
Lul
o..
.,
"

Lulo:
"It'
sokay.Iwon'
ttel
lanyone.Hedeservesi
t
aft
ereverythinghedi
dtoyou.Andt hebi
tch
deservedittoo,
"

Zol
a:"
How?
...
"
Lulo:"DidIbindt hedot s?.Il
ovemyst ery.If
igure
thingsoutqui ckly.Plusthewayyoupul ledt
he
tri
ggeratyourt ar gettakesski
ll
s.Nohousewi f
ecan
bet hatlucky.Maybeonedayyouwi l
ltellmewhat
kindofwomanNozol il
eElephantreal
lyisbecauseI
getani deashe' snotj ustasorr
yasshousewi fe,
"

Zola:"
Idon'
twantyourbr
other
stoknowanyof
thi
s,"

Lulo:"I
ftheydot heni twon'
tbefrom me.Youj ust
getbetter.Iwanttogett oknowyou.TheDNA
provedI'm yourswithoutadoubt .I
'
m pr epar
edto
gettoknowyou.I '
m notsayingwewi llgoon
mot herdaughterbondi ngdatesbutIatleastwant
tobeabl etositinar oom wit
hyouwi thoutfeel
ing
awkwar d.

Isatwi
thherf
orawhi
leandevenr
eadf
orherunt
il
visiti
nghour swer eover .I
'vebeent hinkingabout
thatasshol escasef orawhi l
enow.I 'm surpri
sed
hehasnotf igur edouthi swi f
edi dhi m bad.Idon't
blameher .Iwi llkeephersecr et.LiyemaandLungi
mi ghtknowherbutIf eelI'
m aboutt oknowt hereal
her .I
'mlooki ngf orwardt ohavingt hatconver sati
on
withher .Liyemahadt ogomeetacl ientsoIasked
himt odr opmeof fatthehouse.Iwat chedmovi es,
playedmusi candevenwr ot
e.It hinkImi ghtjust
wr i
teamemoi rsomedaywhenI 'mi nagoodspace.
Ievent uall
yf ellasl eepnothavi ngf eari nmyhear t.
WhenIopenedmyeyesIgotgr eetedbyei ghteyes
l
ooki ngr i
ghtatme.Isatupont hecouchand
l
ookedar ound.Lakhi wewavedf rom t hekitchen.I
wavedback.Il ookedbacki nfrontofmeandt he
boyswer ejustst arri
ngatme.

Lul
o:"Shooo!"Isai
dt r
yingtogetthem awayfrom
me.Iremember edtheyarebabies,notbir
ds.They
j
uststared."
Lakhiwe,theyarej
uststarri
ng.What
shouldIdo?"Ishoutedwhilesi
tti
ngbackont he
couch.
Lakhi
we:"Apparentl
ybabiesstaremostatpretty
peopl
e,sotakei
tasacompl iment.Justsayhi,
they
don'
tbit
e.I'
m makingsnacksf orus,"shesai
d.What
shoul
dIdowi t
ht hesepeople?

Lulo:"Goodboys,"Isaidbutputmyhandovermy
faceformyst upi
di t
y.Theyar en'tdogseit
her.I'
ve
neverbeenaroundbabi es,justmyyoungersi st
ers
butIwasyoungt hen.Thesef ourdi
dnotevenbl i
nk.
Oneoft hem wentt opickupast uff
edtoy.I'
m sure
tothr
owi tatme, thealien.Heact ual
lygaveittome.
Ismiled."Ohthankyou, "Iloosenedupabi t.

Bukhosi
:"Bhabha"healsogavemeatoy,
".Lookat
mebeinganaunt .If
eltsopr
oudofmysel
f.

Lakhiwe:"Thisi
sDabawo,sayDabs,
"sheputthe
foodont hetable,
huggedmeandlookedatt
hem.
"Dabs,"sherepeatedsl
owl
y.
Banele:"Daa,
"helookedandpoi ntedatme.That
'si
t,
I
'm sold.Il
ovethesepeople.Idon'tevenhavet
o
thi
nkabouti t
.Igottoysandat i
tle?.

Lakhi
we:"
Theywi
llwar
m upt
oyoui
naf
ewmi
nut
es.
Howwasyourday?"

Lulo:"
Wentoutwi thmybrother,sawyourt herapi
st,
sawZol a.I
twasnotbad.I'l
lcookt onightal
so,rest
yourfeetandgetreadyforcompet it
ion.Aft
erthis
Liyemawi l
lmeetmei ndarkall
iestogetmyf oodin
secret
,"shelaughed.

Lakhi
we:"Thenyoumightaswell
takehi
mtoyour
mother'
shousetoo,
"Il
aughed.

Bubel
e:"
Ups"hel
ookedatmeandsmi
led.Myhear
t
i
sfull
.
Lul
o:"
Yes,
myboy,
"

Allofthem gotont hecouchandIgothugged.

War m, snuggl
yhugs.I'
veneverf eltmorecont ent
.
Thesear etheonl ymenIful
lytrustasofnow.I '
m
anaunt .Wepl ayedwit
htheirtoysont hemat .They
havegot tenusedt omesoeasi l
y.Lakhiwewent
upst ai
rstonapbecauseIsai dI'
llplaywit
ht hem
untilsheisup.Lungicamef rom theguestroom
fr
om hi snap.Hegr eet
edandwentt othefri
dge.

Lungi:"Argman,j
ustbecausetheydon'
tdr
inki
t
doesn'tmeantheycan'
tstockuponbeerfor
vi
sit
or s,
"heshout
ed.

Lul
o:"Iwi
shIhadyourpr
oblemsi
fyourbrot
hernot
havi
ngbeeri
stheonlyt
hingfr
ust
rat
ingyou,
"

Lungi
:"Wannagogr
ababi
te?
"
Lulo:"I
'
m babysi
tt
ing,
"Li
yemawalkedi
n.Hi
sboys
alll
eftmetorunintohi
sarms.Theyar
esohappyt
o
seehim.

Lungi
:"Thei
rdadi
sher
e.Bhut
i,I
'
mtaki
ngLul
ofora
bi
te,
"

Li
yema:"ButLalasaidLulowoul
dcookf
orus,
"he
soundedreal
lydisappoi
nted.

Lul
o:"Hehear dthatIwentoutwit
hyouearl
ieron
andisjealous.I
'
llhaveacoffeewit
hhi
m andr et
urn
tocook,"

Li
yema:"I
t'
snocompet
it
ionbutokay.I
smywi
fe
upst
air
s?"

Lul
o:"
Taki
nganap,
"
Lungiwentt ogethi swalletandcarkeys.Hi scar
hasbeenher esincehelef twithLakhiwe.Liyema
thankedhimf orgoingtoPeddi ewi thLakhiwe.I
thi
nkLungii spr ovi
ngtohi sbr otherhecanber eli
ed
upon.Wehoppedi ntohiscarandhesai dheknows
exactl
ywher etogetthest rongestcof f
eethatwe
need.Itrustedhi mtotakemet ohisjoint
,Ireal
ly
l
ovecof fee.Allkinds.Hepar kedhi scarandl edme
i
nside.Itwasnocof feeshopbutabar /cl
ub.Ididn'
t
haveapr oblem wi t
hitbutIwon' tdri
nk.

Lungi
:"Ohcomeon,
it'
l
lhel
pyouf
orgetaboutt
hings
forawhil
e,
"

Lulo:"
Onlyfort
hosethi
ngstocomef l
oodi
ngback
onceagain.No,t
hanks.Justdon'
tdr
inksomuch
thatyouareunabl
etodrive,
"

Hepr
omi
sedandhedr
ankhi
sbeer
s.It
oldhi
mit
's
enoughbuthesai dhewasokay.Iwasokaywi th
thingsunt i
lsomeonesai d"Bl ueDi amond" .Ifli
pped
andIshookl ikeIwashavi ngaf i
t.Suddenl ythe
clubwast oosmal l
.It
ookLungi 'sphoneandcal l
ed
Liyema.Ihat edt hethoughtofget t
ingLungii n
troublebutIwant edtogetoutofher e.Liyemasai d
hewasonhi sway.Isatwai tingwhi l
elookingaf ter
drunkLungi .Themanwhocal l
edmeBl ue
appr oachedagai nandIwasr eadyt ostabsomeone.
Het houghtI '
m ondut yandst artedt otouchme.I
pushedhi m awaybuthest uckt ome.Themenat
thebardi dn'tevencar e.Aguygotyankedof fme
andLi yemabeatt hehel loutofhi m, li
kebeathi m
shitl
ess.Hei sangr y.Thet hreeofusgott othecar
anddr ovei nsil
ence.Ir anupt omyr oom and
l
ockedi tassoonasIar r i
ved.Wi llIeverleada
nor mall if
e?Wi llpeoplef oreverseeapr osti
tute?I
criedmyeyesout .Idon'tbl ameLungibutI 'l
lnever
gopl aceswi thhim againi ft hosear ehi skindof
places.Ihear dLiyemashoutf r
om downst airsand
theki dswer ecrying.I
twasamessandIcover ed
myear swithapi ll
owwhi lecr ying.Iindeedst il
l
haveal ongwayt ogo.Af terIst ayedi nt heroom a
whileIwentoutt ocook.If oundLakhi weal ready
takingoutpot sbutIt oldherI 'dcook.Li yema
apol ogizedonbehal fofLungi l
eagai n.Ijustasked
thatt heyleavet heki tchenwhi leIcook.Wel lthey
l
istenedbutnott heboysbutIdi dn'tmi ndthem.I
satt hem downont heirchai rsandweact uallyhad
funcooki ngwhi lewesangal lthecr èchesongI
remember ed.Theyar eexci tedt ohaveanew
person.Il ovedt hem, nodoubt .Thef i
rstfami l
yI '
m
ablet osayIt rulylove.Idi shedupwhenIf inished
cooki ng.Ihel pedLakhi wef eedt hem andevenbat h
them.Idon' tknowhowt heycopeal one.Theki ds
wer eputt osl eepandwej ustsati nsi l
ence.Lungi
wassl eepingt heboozeof font hecouch.Whenhe
wakesuphewi llrealizejusthowcr eativehis
nephewsar ewi t
hmar kers.Ther ewasaknockon
thedoorandLi yemawentt oopen.Ihear dhi m say
"Makhul u".Lakhi weandIst oodt oo.Theel der l
y
womancamest raightt ome.Shehel dmyf aceher
handsl ookingatme.NowIknowwher eIgott he
awkwar dl i
ps.
Makhulu:"MaHl ubi
,Mbinga,Dladla,MaMlambo,
OnoXhaka,oSenene, oLubisi
,Mlamboongawel wayo
owelwazinkonjanezodwaphonazoukuba
zi
nempiko,sizalosikaGxiva,
"sheshout edwhil
e
l
ookingatmewi thtear
sflowingfrom hercheeks
yetshewasr ejoici
nganddanci ng.Igot
goosebumps.If orthefi
rstti
mef eltl
ikeIbel
onged.
"WhoshallIsaymychi l
dis?"sheasked.Sheasked
i
nsuchawayt hatmademef eelli
keIknowwhoI
alr
eadyam.

Lul
o:"Mahlubandi
le,Makhul
u,"Isai
dwi
thsuch
conf
idenceandsur i
ty.

Sherecitedmycl annamesandt ell

ingtheHlubi
ancestorsthattheyshouldr ejoi
cebecause
Mahlubandi l
ehascomehome.Mynamemeanst he
Hlubiclam hasincreased.Itsignif
iesthatthefamil
y
hasgrownf oranewmemberhasj oined.I
t'
s
powerful,i
t'
smi neandIl oveit.Wat chi
ngmy
grandmot herwhom Iwast oldissickdancebef or
e
mewhi l
estil
lpr
aisi
ngmewi t
hthenamesofmy
for
efat
hersgavememyf ir
stsenseofbel
ongi
ng.I
am Mahlubandi
leElephant
,youmaycallme
MaHlubibymycl anname, myident
it
y.
[
03/
28,
17:
31]Lynne:FI
FTYEI
GHT

Lakhi
we

It'
sbeenabusycoupl eofmont hsf ill
edwi t
hups
anddowns.Il oveHl ubi'snameandIl ovet hatit'
s
thef i
rstofi t
'skindint heEl ephantf amily.She
knowshermot herandf atherwant edal lthei rki
dst o
beL.El ephantandIl ovehowsher ebell
edagai nst
that .She' sMi ssM.El ephantsoyouhavet wo
opt ionsi t'
seitheryout ol erateitoryout ol erateit
.
That '
swhatshet el
lsusi t'
sherwayofsayi ngscr ew
youIdon' tgiveadamnwhatyout hink.Wehave
becomegr eatfri
ends.Mr sBi sdoingwonder swith
her .Wecanal lseeachance.Hl ubil i
kestor eada
l
ot .Ifshe' snotr eadingmur dermyst er
ybooksor
herf ather'
slawbooks, she'swr iti
ng.Romewasnot
buil
tinadaysosheobvi ouslyst il
lhasher
extr
emel yl
owmoment swhennei therofusshoul d
evendaretot ouchher .Hermot hermakesmeans
forhertoseehersi sterstwiceamont h.Theyagr ee
onavenueandMr sEcar rytheexpensest ogether
withtheotherfamili
es.Il ovethatt heyal l
owt he
gir
lstogettogether.Theyar esi stersaf t
eralland
fi
ndingouttheyar enotbl oodr elatedshoul dn't
breakthebond.Shehadal sobeengi vingmet i
ps
onhowt oexci t
emyhusband.Atf i
rsti
twas
awkwar dbutLiyemal ovesever ythingnewI 've
i
ntroducedbutIdon' ttellhim hissi st
erteachesme,
IsayIreaditonline.Mmai sheal ingwel landTat a
hasnotcalledsinceHl ubical l
edhi m shit,hisego
musthavet akenahugeknockorsomet hingmi ght
bewr ong.

Todayisaver
yimport
antdayforLiyemaandI.We
arecel
ebr
ati
ngoneyearofmarriage.Awhol
eyear!
SomuchhashappenedduringtheyearbutI
'
m glad
wewerebyeachother
ssideeachday.Igotupand
foundt
hathewasnotinbedsoIchi ll
edi
nbeda
whilewai tingf orbr eakfastinbedwi thaki ss.I
waitedf ort oolongsoIgotupandwentt oi nspect
thecoast .I'm sur ehemadeaspeci albr eakf ast.I
don'tmi ndt heki dsjoini
ngbutl atertheyhavet ogo
togrannywhi lemommyanddaddycel ebr ate.Igot
him anewwat chf r
om hisf avour i
tebr and, Liyema
i
sawat chmansoIhopehewi l
lli
kei t.Mmahel ped
megeti taf terthe20excl usiveonesgotsol dout .
Shet oldmenott owor ryaboutt her estoft hecost s
becausei t'
shergi fttous.I '
m goi ngt ogi vei ttohi m
whenwear ealone.Iwal keddownst airsonl ytof i
nd
hissibli
ngswi t
hhi m andt heki ds.Itwaschaos.I
fi
rstlookedatt heki t
chen.Nospeci al breakf ast,
nothing.Li yemahasbeensoi nvolvedwi thhi s
familyandIdon' tmindbutIt houghtt odaywoul dbe
forme, forusal one.Mybabi escamet ohugme, at
l
eastIgotahugwhi leLiyemai sbusyl aughi nghi s
assof fmaki ngj okest hatar en'tevenf unny.I
greetedt hem andt heyjustwavedandgotbackt o
thei
rconver sation.Iwentt ot heki t
chen, tookout
potsandspoonsj usttomakenoi sewhi leIbanged
them ont het able.Liyemacamet ot heki tchen
holdingabox.I twasnotbi gbutnott osmal leit
her.
Ismi
led,
it'
smygi
ftf
orsur
e.

Li
yema:"
Lal
a,sor
rywedi
dn'
thavet
imet
omake
br
eakf
ast
.Wehadcereal
,
"heki
ssedme.

Lakhiwe:"
It
'sokay,baby.Soyoudi
dn'
tfor
getaf
ter
al
l.Iseethebox,"Ismil
ed.

Liyema:"HowcouldIfor
get?Thisisoneofthe
biggestmomentsinmylife.I'
vebeenwait
ingfor
thismatchsi
ncelastweek,"hesaidwit
hconfi
dence.

Lakhiwe:"
What
?"Isai
dsof
tl
ytr
yingt
ohol
dbackmy
tear
s.

Liyema:"Checkthesecoolit
emsthatIgot.Iwant
everyonetoseewhi cht
eam I'
m support
ingeventhe
blind,
"hesaidwithexci
tementandtookoutBlue
Bul l
sessent
ial
s.From f
lags,t
osti
ckersandfake
tat
toos."
Theboyswil
levenhavethei
rfi
rstf
ace
paint
ingtoday.Wear
esoexcit
ed.GoBulls,
"

Lungi:"Yeahhhhhh,
baby.I
t'
sgoingt obeaBlue
nightday!,
"heshoutedf
rom t
hel ounge,
"Iwant
edt
o
throwapanatLi yema.Ourfi
rstanniver
sar
yandhe
doest hi
s?

Liyema:" Baby,I'l
lseeyoul ater.Wewi l
lfirstgo
meetupwi t
hot herBullsfansf orabraai.I'mt aking
theboyswi th.Theyneedt oseehowl egendsdoa
pre-celebrat
ion.Don' tworry,LungiandIwi l
llook
afterthem.YouknowKumkani '
shouse, hehaski ds
soi t
'l
lbef un.Myboyswi l
lhavet hei
rwat chthei r
fi
rstliverugbymat ch.Ithi
nkt heirbl
oodi sblue, "he
said.Isitokayt oslaphi m now?

Lungi:"Let'
sgo.Wedon'twannami ssthebestpar
t
ofthecel ebr
ati
on.I
'
llbri
ngyourboysbackinone
pi
ece, sis.Al
lfi
veofthem,"heshouted.
Hlubi
:"Justgoal
readyannoyi
ngsucker
s,"she
shout
ed.

Li
yema:" Il
oveyou,
"hekissedme"I'
l
ltel
lyoual
l
aboutit
.Thisist
hefir
stthi
ngI'
vedonewithLungii
n
awhile.I
tmeansal ot
,"hesmil
ed.

Theyputont heiruglyBl ueBul l

sst uffonthei
rugly
faceswhi l
eIl ookedatt hem wi t
hdi sgust.Iwanted
toputlaxat i
veintheirdr inkssot heywoul dsi
ton
thetoil
etallthrought hisst upidgame.Il ovethatthe
brother
sar ebondi ng, butt odayofal ldays?Each
tooktwol i
ttl
eBul l
sf ansundert hearmsandcar ried
them tothecar .Idon'tlikeLi yemar i
ghtnow.Itook
outthepanandsl ammedi tont hestove.Hlubi
camet ost andbyt hedoor .Iignor edherand
aggressivelymademysel ff ood.

Hl
ubi
:"What
'swr
ong?
"shef
inal
lyaskedaf
tert
en
whol
emi
nut
esofwai
ti
ngf
orhert
oask.

Lakhi
we:"
Nothi
ng,"Imumbledwhi
lesul
king."
You
knowwhat?Yourbrot
heri
sabum,"Ishouted.

Hl
ubi:"
Anass.Theworstofit
'ski
ndtoo,bothof
t
hem.Theydidn'
tgetmeat i
cket,
"shesaid.I
sshe
r
eal
lygoingonaboutnotget
ti
ngat i
cket?.

Lakhiwe:"Infactyou'
reabum too,Mahlubandi
le
Elephant.Todayyouar eal
ljustbumsandnotcut e
oneseither,
"shelookedatmeconf used.

Hlubi:"
Mmm myf avouri
tesi
steri
snotgood.Talkto
me,"shecamecloser.Ist
art
edtocry.Shewanted
tocomf or
tmebutIthrewaraweggather .If
eltl
ike
screaming.

Lakhi
we:"
It
'souranni
ver
sar
ytoday,
"Isai
dsof
tl
y
andsatdowncr ying."Icanf orgi
vehi mf or
gett
ing
ourtent
h,Hlubibutourf i
rst
.It'
slikethewholecour t
thi
ngagain.Yourbr ot
herr emember sthesmallest
ofthi
ngs,unimportantt hi
ngsbutcannot
remembersomet hingt hisbig.Idon'tli
kehimr i
ght
now.Ihopet herugbybal lhitshisbighead,"Isaid
andshelaughed.

Hlubi
:"I
'
m sor
ryandIf
eelyoubutwhydi
dn'
tyou
sayanythi
ngwhi
lehewashere?"

Lakhiwe:"DoyouknowI '
veneverheardhim say
he'
sgoi ngtospendthedaywi t
hLungisincewegot
married.Ican'
tdepr
iveLungiofthat
,"Isai
dandshe
smiled.

Hlubi:"Youneedt ostopput t
ingyoursel
flaston
everything,Khi-
Khi .IagreewithyouLiyemai san
assf orforgett
ing.Iwi shthattwobiggestrugby
playerst ackl
et hem, "
Lakhiwe:"NoIdon' twanthi mt ogethur t
.Istil
lneed
tohaveawor dwi thhim.Iimagi nedbreakfastin
bedorabr eakf astdateinani cecosypl ace.Hehas
beensol ostinhi sfamil
ybusi nesswi t
hever yt
hing
thathashappened.Idon' tmindt hough,Imar r
ieda
famil
yorientedmam andi t
'soneoft hethingsIfind
sexyinhim.Ij ustmi sshim, Hlubi.Imi
sshi m,"I
cri
ed.

Hlubi
:"I
'm cal
li
nghi
mt otel
lhi
mt ogethisassback
hereandspoilyour
ott
enevenifIhavetoholda
damngunt ohi
sheadforhi
mt odoit"shesai
dand
tookherphone.

Lakhiwe:"Idon'
twanthimt obef orced.I'
l
ljustt ake
mysnacksandeatmysel fintoacomawhi l
eIl ook
attheti
meont hewatchIgothi m waiti
ngf orthe
daytogoby, "Isai
dwhilelookingoutt hewi ndow
andshecr ackupinlaughter."Howcoul dyoul augh
atmypai n,MaHlubiheee?"Ilookedather .She
l
aughedsomucht hatherl
aughmademel augh.
Hl
ubihast hosestr
angesoundinglaughs.Whenshe
j
okesIlaughmor eatthewayshel aughsthanthe
j
oke."Justshutup,MaHlubi
,"Isai
dbutIwas
al
readylaughingmylungsouttoo.

Hl
ubi:"I
'
m. ..I'
m sorryit
'sj
ustthewayyoustood
l
ookingoutt hewindowwhi lesayingt
hat
.Likea
wif
ewai t
ingf orherhusbandtocomebackf rom
WorldWarI I.Youaresodr amaticdamnbutIlove
i
t,
"shewi pedhert earsoff
.

Lakhiwe:"Screwyouguyst oday.Idon'
twant
anythi
ngt odowi t
hEl ephantstoday.Youcaneven
keepthosef ourwhocoul dnotwai tt
oleavewi
th
thei
rfathertoo,
"Ilookedather .

Hlubi:"OkayI'
m sor
ry,mybeaut i
fulfri
endandsist
er.
Let'
sgoout .It
'l
lbemyanni ver
sarygi f
ttoyou.When
heget sbackwewi l
ljustatt
ackhi m wit
hwordsand
perhapsr ot
teneggs.Deal?
"shel ookedatme.
Lakhiwe:"Idon'
tknow.Everythingisjustdark.I
t'
s
l
ikeI'
m searchingforl
ightbutI..
.,
"thewayshe
l
ookedatmemademest op.Shehadt hat"r
eall
y
now?"look."Okaybutyouwi llpay.Idon'twantto
touchthatbum' smoneyeither,
"shesmi led.

Hlubi:"
Letmecal lZola.Sheknowst hese
pamper i
ngplaces.Whent heyaredonewi t
hyou,
youwi l
lseelightinyourdayagain.Leavethe
Elephantmen, eventhefourcuteinnocentones
whoar eguilt
ybyassoci at
ion.Goshower .Putona
cutedressorshor t,
it'
shotout.I
'l
lcallZol
aand
makeal istofgirl
ythingswecando, "

Iwal kedupstairstomyr oom t

oshower .Iwant edto
bleachLi yema'ssuitstoobutIhavenotyetr eached
thatlevelofcrazy.Itookalongcoolshower
thinkingaboutever yt
hingI'
l
lsaytoLiyemawhenI
seehi m.Ievent houghtofhowhemi ghtreplyand
prepar edcomebacksf orthosetoo.Technicall
yI'
m
havingahypot heticalargumenti nmyheadwi t
hmy
husband.I '
mr eadyt ofacehi m.Igotoutoft he
showerandchoseani cewhi tesummerdr ess.I
madet hebedupandgotdr essed.Hl ubit ol dmenot
tomakeuponbecausewewi l
lhavef aci als, do
nails, t
hewor ks.Theot herannoyi ngt hingi st he
factt hatLiyemat ookthecar .Lungil ef twi thhi s
car'skeys.Wecal ledat axi.Iwasnoti nt hemood
foral lofthis.Ij ustwant edt osleept hedayaway
andwakeuponl ytoeatj unkf ood.I 'mf eeling
depr essed.Iwassupposedt obei nmyhusband' s
armsr ightnowandf orachancebeawayf rom
ever yoneandever yt
hingel se.Thet axist oppedata
Spa/ sal ontypeofpl ace.Hl ubilookedsoexci t
ed.
Shel i
terall
ypushedmei nsi debutnotvi olently.I
wasj ustdraggi ngmyf eet.Wegoti nsi deandt he
l
adyhel pedusi mmedi ately.Iopt edf ort he
massagef ir
st.Thel adysai dIwast ense, shehad
noi deahowmuch.Ist art
edt or elaxwhenshesl i
d
heroi lyhandsovermyback.Iact uallyf ellasl eep.I
gotwokenupwhent hemassagewasover .They
servedusdr i
nkswhi l
ewegotournai ldi d.Igota
freshhai r
cutt oo.Wet henwentf orr etailt herapy
af
ter
war
ds.Shehel
pedmef
itabeaut
if
ulst
il
ett
o.

Lakhi
we:"
Hlu-
Hlu,t
hanksf
ort
his.Youact
ual
ly
mademyday,"Ismil
ed.

Hlubi
:"I
'
m gladIcouldtakeyourmindofthings.I
knowthisr
eall
ymusthavesl ippedhi
smi ndatleast
nowweknowi t
'snotbecauseofanex,"webot h
l
aughed.

Lakhiwe:"
Whati fI
'
m bor
ingt
ohi
m?"
,shel
ookedat
mel i
keI'
mi nsane.

Hl
ubi:"
Youhavemor efuninyourpinkythan
Li
yemahasonhi senti
rebody.Menandspor ts,
it'
s
atot
all
ydi
ff
erentlovestor
y,"Il
aughed.

Lakhiwe:"
Hewil
lhavepl
ent
yoftimet owatchhi
s
sportwhil
esl
eepi
ngonthecouch.Il
ikethi
s.We
needt
odoitmor
eof
tenbutbr
okepeopl
est
yle,
"we
l
aughed.

Hlubi
:"Youarenotbr
okeatal
lbutIhearyou.
Lakhi
we,"shesai
dsoftl
y.

Lakhi
we:"
Mm"Il
ookedather
.

Hl
ubi:"
Inevert
houghtI'
dloveanotherwomanasI
domysister
sbut.
..Il
oveyou,"shesaidsof
tl
yand
l
ookeddown.

Lakhi
we:"
Iloveyoutoo,
sis.Il
ovehavi
ngsomeone,
afri
endcl
ose.Thankyouforbeingafr
iend,
"I
openedmyarms.Wehugged.

Wehavegottenreal
lycl
ose.Whenshecan'tst
and
hermot
hershecomesst rai
ghtt
oourhouseand
spendt
henightunti
lshehascooledof
f.Theboys
absol
utel
yloveher.Iknowl i
fei
sstilldi
ffi
cul
tforher
.
Iknowthatweatti
messt i
llf
eell
ikest r
angerstoher
butaf
terMakhulu'
svisit
,sheadjustedabi t
.

Hlubi
:"SoI'
mthinkingofgoi
ngbacktoschoolto
completematr
icnextyear,
"Iwassohappytohear
hersaythat
.I'
m proudofherforj
ustconsi
der
ingit
.

Lakhi
we:" Goforit
.Byt henyou'
llhaveyourI
Dwit
h
yourrealnames.Doi tandifyouwanttogobeyond
matri
cI '
l
lsupportyou,"

Hlubi
:"DoyouthinkIcansti
llbecomeatprosi
cutor
?
Imeanbyt heti
meI '
m donestudyingI
'
llbeabove
theagejobseekerswant,
"shesaidinawhisper.

Lakhiwe:"Letusdealwit
ht hatwhenwegett oit
.
Fornowl et'
sjustpr
epareforyout ostar
tatt
endi
ng
cl
assest opassyourmat r
ic.Iknowaf ewverygood
col
legeswhoof f
ersuchandi t
'snotexpensi
ve,
"
Hlubi
:"Yes,
Iwannadoit.EvenifIdon'
tget
employedatleastI
'
dhaveachievedsomethi
ng,
"

Wef itmor eshoesandsheboughtmet wopai r s.I

feelsospoi l
edt oday.I tevenmendedmybr oken
heartabi t.Wewentt owat chmovi es.Weat el unch.
Itwasj ustagr eatday.Shet henaskedmet ogo
pickadr essf orherbecausesheandMmawi llbe
goingtosomef unction.Whatf unct i
on?Idon' tknow
becauseshewoul dn'tsay.Ical ledLi yemaandt here
wasnoi sei nt hebackgr oundsohecoul dn'ttalk.I
want edt or emi ndhi mi t'
sourdayandt hatwecan
stil
lsalvagewhat 'sleftofit.Thel adyoft hedr esses
wasnott heresowewentandmor egi rl
yt hings.We
wentt ot hel adi esatt hesalonf orpr of essional
makeup.Ineverwor emakeupsobeaut i
full
yas
whenIdi dasIl ookedi nthemi r ror.Iwi shLi yema
couldseet his.Thesunwasst ar t
ingt osetandt he
dressladycal led.Wer ushedtoherbui l
dingbef ore
shecoul dl eaveagai n.Hl ubifi
therdr esswhi l
eIsat
andt ookpi ctur esofher .Shelooksbeaut iful.The
l
adyshowedmeMma' sdress.AnditwassoMma.
Hlubif
inal
lyreveal
edt hattheeventistogosupport
MrCarrnextweek.Hei sgett
inganhonor aryawar
d
forhi
swor kandhet rulydeservesi
t.Ireadupon
themanandhi swor kisremar kabl
e.Howhesaves
womenonadai lybasisdeservesmor ethanan
award.Sandy,thedesigneraskedmet ost andup.
Shelookedatmybody.

Sandy:"
Willyoupleasemodelaf ewdressesforme.
Iwanttoseehowt heylookwhent heymoveandI '
m
sur
etheywi l
lfi
tyouperfect
ly,
"shepleaded.

Lakhiwe:"
I'
m sorrybutI '
mr eall
ytir
ed.Yourcl
ient
hadmeonmyf eetallday,"Il
ied.Ididn'
twantto
undressandgetdr essedagai n.I
t'
sal soni
ght
al
readyI'mreadyforLi yema.

Sandy:"Please,
mydar l
ing.I
'
llevenpayyoutodoit.
Ihat
et hatI'
veonlyseenitonadoll,
"shebegged.
Icouldn' tsaynot oherbecauseshemustneedhel p
i
fshei swi ll
ingt opay.Iputonaf ewout fit
sand
actuall
yl ikedi t.Shehadmeposeandt oopi ctur
es
ofme.Li kepr of f
esionalpict ur eswi thli
ght ingand
stuff
.If eltli
kear ealmodel .Shemademeputona
beautifulr eddr ess.If el
tsexyyetsoel eganti nit.
Shet oldmet hatshehast ot akeapi ctureofi ton
theroof .Shef i
xedmymakeuponceagai nandt he
threeofuswal kedupst ai
rsandt other oof .Ohbut
CapeTowni sbeaut ifulatni ght .Sandyt oldmet o
standagai nstt heraili
ngoft her oofandl ookout
i
nt otheci tybel owme.Shest oodbehi ndmeandI
couldheart hecl i
ckingoft hecamer aandt he
fl
eshingunt ilitstopped.Il ookedbackt oseewhat
wasgoi ngon.Ther oofar easuddenl yhadbeaut iful
fair
ylight salloveri t.Itwasbr eathtaki
ng.

Li
yema:"
Lovehast
rul
ybeengoodt
ome

Notevenonesadday
Ormi
nut
eIhadsi
nceyoucomemyway

IhopeyouknowIgl
adl
ygo

Anywher
eyout
akeme

I
t'
ssoamazi
ngt
obel
oved

I
'
dfol
lowyout
othemooni
ntheskyabove

Igot
,gott
otel
lyouhowyout
hri
llme

I
'
m happyasIcanbe

Youhavecomeandi
thaschangedmywhol
ewor
ld
Byebyesadness,
hel
lomel
low

Whatawonder
fulday

I
t'
ssoamazi
ngt
obel
oved

I'
dfol
lowyout othemooni ntheskyabove,above,
"
hesangformewhi leslowlywalki
ngtome.Icr i
ed
somuch.It akebackever ythi
ngbadIwishedwould
happentohi m.IloveLutherVandrossbutohhis
songsoundssomuchbet tercomingfr
om my
husbandbecausei t'
smeantf ormeonly.Icri
edso
muchunt i
lhef i
nishedsinging.Hecuppedmyf ace
i
nhishandsandwant edmet olookathim,butI
coul
dn't
.

Lakhiwe:"
Ithoughtyouf
orgot,
baby,"Isai
dina
whisperandburiedmyfaceinhischest.
Liyema:"Areyoukiddingme?Forgett
hedayI
mar r
iedthemosti mport
antwomanofmyl i
fe?I
couldneverforgetthi
sday.Il
oveyoumorenow
thanIdidthist
imeayearago,"hekissmyforehead.

Lakhiwe:"Ifel
tsosel
fi
shfornotbeinghappywith
youspendi ngti
mewithLungil
e.Ievenwishedyou
twowoul dgetdiar
eawhil
eatthegame, "I
confessed.

Liyema:" AndhadIr eall

yf orgott
enouranni ver
sary,
I'
dhavedeser vedit
.Nowl ookatmepl ease,"hesaid
andIl if
tedmyheadt olookathi m.Hel ookedatme
forawhi l
e.Thismani sstillabl
etomakemef eel
butterfl
iesinmyst omach.Hewi pedmyt earsoff
andki ssme.Wehavebeenki ssi
ngdur ingt he
diff
iculttimesbutthiskissf el
tdif
ferent.Itwas
passionat eyetgentl
eatt hesamet i
me." Thankyou
forthebeaut i
fulyearofbei ngmywi fe.I '
veseenyou
suppor tmeandmyf amilywhenwewer ehaving
diff
iculty.WhenIsuggest edt heboysbet akento
Peddiewi t
houtevent al
kingtoyouf i
rstyoudi dn't
objectandt hathasmademef eell
ikeyout r
ustmy
l
ead.Idon' tknowwhatIwoul dbewi t
hout ,
MamTshawe.Youhavecar r
ied..
.,
"hest ar tedtocr y.
"Youhavecar ri
edmeondayswher eIf elttoo
exhaustedt ogoon.Youhavel ovedmewi thal oveI
,
Liyemanevert houghtI'
dbebl essedwi th.You' ve
givenmef ourhandsomesons.You' venotonl y
beenbymysi dei nf
ami l
ymat tersbutal soi n
business.IthankGodever ysingledayf oryou.
Thankyouf orabeaut if
ulyear.ItwasnoteasybutI
thinkwehavebecomest r
ongeraspar tner s
becauseofi t.Iwantyout oknowt hatIwi l
lalways
supportyourdr eams.Iloveyousomuch, "he
smi l
ed.

Lakhi
we:"Baby, "Icoveredmyf acewithmyhands
andstart
edt ocr y.Hehuggedmewhi leki
ssi ngmy
bareshoulders."Idon'tknowwhatt osay.Imean
I'
vespenttheent iredaythinkingaboutwhatIwi l
l
saywhenIgi veyouanear fulandnowt hi
s,"he
l
aughedsof tl
y.Iwi pedmyt earsoffandcollected
mysel ftolookathi m." Ilovebei ngmar ri
edt oyou,
LiyemaEl ephant .Ilovei tsomuchwhenpeopl esay
thingsl i
ke" look,yourhusbandhascomet oget
you,"andI '
dt urnedar oundt ofindyouwai t
ingby
thecarsmi l
ingandgetyourhugsaf t
eralongday.I
l
oveseei ngyouwi thourchi l
dren.Hadsomeone
told18yearol dNtombit hatshe' dbemar ri
edt oan
amazi ng,Godf earingmanI '
dhavel aughedi ntheir
faces.Thankyouf orbeingpat ientwi t
hmewhenI
havemydepr essedmoment sevenwhenyoudon' t
under st
andt hem.Suppor tingyoucomesnat ural
ly
tomebecauseyousuppor tmewhol eheart
edly.Ido
trustyourl eadbecauseyoul eadourf amilywith
l
oveandcompassi on.I'veseenyout akeyour
father '
splacei nthef ami ly.I'
veseenyouwi thyour
sisterandIl ovedyoumor ewi t
heachdayt hat
passed.Il ovehowIam whenI '
m wi t
hyou.
Goodness, babyIcangoont heent i
renight.Il
ove
yout oo,Mlambo, "webot hst art
edt ocrybutwi th
smi lesonourf aces.Heki ssedever yspotonmy
faceandIbl ushedl i
keat eenager .
Li
yema:" Youlookbeaut i
ful
.Ihavear rangedf ort
he
boyst obewi t
ht hefami l
yfort oni
ghtandt omor r
ow.
Iwantt omakel ovet oyouandhol dyoual lni
ght.I
wantt owakeupt omorrowandt akeitfrom where
weleftof ft
onight.Ihavemi ssedyou,"heki ssedme
passionatel
y.Igotsot urnedon.Iwant edhim so
badly."Justnotyet,Lala.Isti
llneedtof eedyou,"

Lakhiwe:"Iwantyout
hough,
"Iki
ssedhim whil
e
brushinghismanhoodoverhi
spants.Icoul
dfeeli
t
getexcit
edinmyhands.

Liyema:"No,Lakhiwe.Isti
llhavepl
entyplannedfor
tonightbefor
ethat.Don'
tlookatmel i
kethateither
,"
hel aughedsoft
ly.Heledmet ot
heothersideofthe
roofandt her
ewasat ableandwehadourown
personalwaiter
.Mymanpul ledoutachairforme
beforefil
li
ngmygl asswithnonalcoholi
c
champagne.Thewai t
erthenservedourstarter
.

Lakhi
we:"
Ifeelsospeci
al.I
'
vewat
chedt
hison
moviessomanyt
imes,
"Isai
dexci
ti
ngly."
SowhenI
cal
ledwher
edidt
henoi
secomef r
om,"helaughed.

Liyema:"Theguyswhower edecorati
ngtheplace
wer eki
ndenoughtomakesomenoi se.Ineverset
footatthegame.Heckthereisnogamet oday,not
aBul l
sone.I'
m sor
ryformakingyout hi
nkIforgot
butImadesur eMaHlubikeepsyoubusy.Ar eyou
reall
ymywi fe?
"helookedatmebef orekissi
ngme.

Lakhi
we:"
Let'
sgosomewherepr
ivat
eandIcantel
l
showyou,
"Isaidi
nasexyvoi
ceandkissedhi
m.

Li
yema:"
No,
"If
eltsodi
sappoi
nted.Thi
smani
s
maki
ngmebegforwhat'
smine.

Ilethi
m pl
ayhardtogetandenjoyedthenight
.The
foodwasgreatandthecompanyevenmor eso.We
evendancedandlookedovert
heci t
yli
ghtswhile
kissi
ng.Hi
sphonerangandheanswer edi
twit
ha
smi
le.

Li
yema:"
Yourgi
fthasj
ustar
ri
ved,
"hesmi
led.

Lakhi
we:"
Ilef
tyour
sathome,
baby,
"

Li
yema:"I'
llgetitwhenwegethomet omor
rowni
ght
.
Letusgosi gnforyours,
thedel
iver
ymaniswai
ti
ng
downstai
rs,"

Wewal kedoffthebui
ldi
nsr ooftopandtookt heli
ft
down.Iexpectedtoseeadel iverymanwi t
ha
cl
ipboardwaiti
ngforustosi gnbutnosuch.Li yema
l
edmeout si
deandthefirstthingIsawwasar ed
shinyminiCooperwit
hahugebowoni t
.Ilookedat
Li
yemaandhewassmi l
ing.Agent lemanhanded
met hekey.Hesaidit
'smi ne.

Lakhi
we:"
No,
no,
no,
baby,
"Icover
edmyf
aceand
sobbedagai
n.

Liyema:"It'
snotgoingtomakeusstarve,Lala.
Unf or
tunatelyi
t'
sasecondhandbutinaf ewyear s
I'
l
lgetabr andnewonestrai
ghtfr
om the
manuf acturert
oyou,"hesaidbutIj
ustcried."Don't
youl i
keit?.Lal
a,pl
easesaysomethi
ng,"hepl eaded.

Lakhiwe:"Iloveit
,baby.I
'
mjust.
.I'
mj usthappyand
overwhelmed.Iloveitsomuch.It
'sbeautif
ul.Thank
you.Mygi ftisnothi
ngcomparedtothis,
"hewal ked
cl
osertome.

Li
yema:"
Ilovei
tal
ready.Thankyou.Sowil
lyou
pl
easegi
veyourhusbandaliftt
othehot
elIbooked
usin?
"Il
aughedsoft
ly.

Lakhi
we:"
Whatwi
llIgetaspayment
?"hel
aughed.
Liyema:"Anythi
ngyouwant,
"hekissedme.
"Anythi
ng,"helookedatmybody.

Lakhi
we:"
Iwantyou,
"Il
ookedathi
m wi
thsuchl
ust
.

Ikissedhi m andhegr abbedmybum wi thsuch

i
nt ent.Wegoti ntomynewbaby.Il ookedatherf i
rst
.
Ther eisnowayf ourseat swi llfi
tatt hebackandI
washappy.It hankedmyhubbyagai nbef ore
drivingof f.Hegavemedi r
ectionst ot hehot el.I
didn'twantt ogetoutofmycar .Wewentt oour
hot elroom andt heset tingisbeaut i
ful .Fl
ower s
ever ywher e.Iwantedt ogof reshenupf ir
stbef ore
wecoul dgetdownt obusi ness.Wewentt ot akea
fruitbat htogether,somet hingIneverdi dbef ore.We
coul dn'twai tt
ogetoutoft hewat erandwhenwe
fi
nal lydidwewer eal lovereachot her .Wewer e
bot hst i
llwetbecausewedi dn' twipeourbodi es
whenwecameoutoft hebat h.Iwant edhi mt oskip
thef oreplayandgetst raightt obusi nessbutLi yema
wasi nnor ush.Hepl acedt racesofki ssesf r
om my
breastsdownmyst omachandendedupki ssi
ng
mebet weenmyt highs.Hewasdr ivi
ngmei nsane.I
fel
thismout honmyl ovebudandIdi dn'tknow
whatt odowi thmysel f.Hest oppedjustwhenIwas
abouttoreacht hebl i
ssfuledgeandki ssedme.He
putacondom onandgavemewhatI '
vebeen
want i
ngallni ghtlong.Fi r sti
twasl ong,gent l
e
strokesbutt hingsgotheat edafterawhi le.Helif
ted
meupagai nstt heheadboar dandt hest r
okeswer e
quickandsoel ectri
fying.Ididn'twantt hemoment
tostopbutbot hourbodi esdecidedot herwisewhen
wehador gasmst hesamet i
me.Wecont inuedt o
holdont oeachot herwhi l
etryi
ngt obreat hproperl
y
again.Hel ookedatmeandsmi l
ed.

Liyema:" HappyAnniversary.Iloveyou,"hekissed
me.Iwr appedmyl egsaroundhi swai standheldon
ti
ghter.Iwantedhi minsidemef orlongerbuthe
didn'
tlikethatbecausehef earedt hecondom would
break.Icouldalreadyseethel ookofconcer nonhis
facewhenIbr okethekiss.
Lakhi
we:"
Tomany,
manymor e.Il
oveyout
oo,
Li
yemasomuch,
"Ikissedhi
m.

Hel ai
dmebackont hebedagai nandbr okeour
physicaloneness.Hel aidnexttomeandki ssedme.
Ibrushedhi sf acewhi l
ehecl osedhi seyes.Iknow
thatmanyot herchal lengeslieaheadandwewi l
l
havet oovercomeal otofwewantt ocelebr ate
mor eanniver saries.Ijustpraythatwear est rong
enought odealwi t
hwhatl ifethr
owsatus.Idon' t
seemysel fgoi ngt hroughl i
fewithanot herl i
fe
partner.Hef ellasleepandi tindicatedtomej ust
howt ir
edher eallyis.Iknowhewant edtost ay
awakeal mostal lnightbuthehast akenonal ot
thesepastf ewweeks.Iki ssedhiswar ml ipsand
hisforehead.Maywesomedaycel ebratean
anniversar
ysur roundedbyourgr andchil
dr en.
[
03/
28,
17:
31]Lynne:FI
FTYNI
NE

LI
YEMA
Iorderedbr eakfastf orLal aandI .Ifeltabi tnausea
andhadt odownabot tl
eofcol dwat erhopi ngi t
wouldhel p.Itdidf oraf ewsecondsbutIf el
tsick
again.Iwasnotaboutt ol eti tgetmedownt hough
becauseIpr omisedmywi feawonder ful
anniversarycelebr ati
on.Ihat ethatshehast odr ive
apr -
ownedcarbutshel ovesi ttobi ts.It houghtI
wouldbef reshandupal lni ghtf orherl astni ghtbut
Ididnotevengobeyondoner ound.Whogi vest hei
r
wifeoner oundont heiranni ver saryni ght ?Iwentt o
thebedandgent lygotoni t,shei sst illsleeping.
Lalahadt hishabi tofsl i
ght l
ysl eepi ngwi thherf ace
downandIf earedshe’ dsuf focat ebutsof arshe
hasnot .She'ssobeaut i
ful .Ijustst ar edatherl i
kea
creep,appr eci
atingt hebeaut ybef or eme.Li f
ei sso
short.Ijustwantust ost opandappr eci ateal lthat
Godhasbl esseduswi tht oday.AndIwi llstartby
appreciati
ngt hewomanhechosef orme.Iki ssed
herfacegent l
ybutshedi dnotevenmove.Iwant ed
herawakesoI '
dseet hatbeaut i
fulsmi l
e.Iki ssed
everyspotonherf acebef orepl aci ngmyl i
psonher .
Sheki ssedmeback, fi
nallyshe' sawake.Ibr oket he
kissonlyt olookatcl osedeyes.She' snota
mor ningper sonatal l.I'
m sur eshe' sannoyedbyme
wakingherup.Shet urnedt of acet heot herway.
Doessher eallythinkIwi llletherof fthateasi ly?I
huggedherf rom behi ndandki ssedherneck.Shei s
nakedundert hecover sandI '
m pl anningt otakef ul
l
advant ageoft hat.Icont i
nuedt okissherneckand
sli
dmyhandsundert hecovert ocupandcar ess
hersof tbreast.Shel etoutasof tsensualmoanbut
didnott urnar oundsoIneedt oupmygame.I
gentlyslidmyhandbet weenhert high,theyf eelso
warm andsof t.Ifeltmysel fget tinghar dbecause
herasswasagai nstmymanhood.Icar essedher
warmi nnerthighsandsheopenedt hem mor e
sli
ght l
y.Soshei sawake?Shemovedhercur vy
behindcl osert omymanhoodandI '
m sur eshe
couldf eelmegohar dagai nsther .Shemustknow
howmuchIcr avedherbecauseshest artedto
moveherasi ncircularmot ionsagai nstme, her
teasingwasdr ivi
ngmecr azy.Thewayshemoved
wassl owyetsol ethal .Igroanedi nherneck.Il oved
thesensat ionsomuchbutIr emember edt hatIwas
theonewhowassupposet oleadt hisround.I
gentlyputmyhandonherl ovebud.I tfeltwar m and
i
smoi stal r
eady.Shewant smeasmuchasIdo.I
wor kedmymagi cwi t
hmyf ingersandshesai dmy
namesof t
lybet weenmoans.Herar mswr apped
aroundmyneckandIcont inuedpl antingsof t
kissesonherneckandshoul ders.Sheopenedher
l
egsmor eandgavemef ullexcess.Isl i
daf i
ngeri n
herandi tdrovehercr azy.Iwor kedmymagi cwi t
h
myf i
ngerunt ilshepl eadedf ormet or eplacemy
fi
ngerwi thmyal readythr obbi ngmanhoodbutI
want edt omakeherwai tabi t.Icont i
nuedunt ilIf el
t
herbodyt enseandshecl enchedhert highst i
ght s
holdingmyhandpr i
sonerunt ilherorgasm
subsided.Shet houghtIwasdonebutIwasnot .I
putacondom onandpl acedhert opl egovermi ne.
Shet it
ledherheadbackwar dsandt hel ookofl ove
andl ustwasj ustamazi ng.Isl idinsideherwar m
foldsandwemovedataver ylazyr hythm bef or e
thingsgotheat ed.Ilovemaki ngl oveher .Hear ing
hermoansandknowi ngt hatIdot hattoheri t
amazi ng.Shecamef ir
standherl egswer eshaki ng,
Iloveitwhent hathappensandi tmademecum
ri
ghtaf terher.Ihel dherwhi l
eweshar edt he
beaut i
fulmoment .
Li
yema:“
Goodmor
ning,
”Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Lakhiwe:“
Iloveyou,Li
yema,”shesaidandlooked
atme.“Goodmor ningtoyoutoo,baby,
”sheturned
tofaceme.

Li
yema:“Il
oveyoutooevenwi
thyourmor
ning
br
eath,
”shelaughedsof
tl
y.

Lakhi
we:“
Didyougetmeat
oot
hbr
ush?
”sheasked.

Li
yema:“Inyourbag.Mahlubipackedsomecl ot
hes
shethoughtyou'
dli
ketowear .Youdidnoteven
not
icesomeofyourclothesar egone,
”weboth
l
aughed.

Lakhi
we:“
HowwouldIhave,babywhenIwas
pl
otti
ngal
lki
ndsoft
hingsf
oryou.Letmegobrush
myteet
h.Iwil
lbeback,
”shegotupandwal
kedt
o
t
hebathroom.

Li
yema:“
Sowenol
ongercuddl
eaf
tersex?
,”Ij
oked
andl
aughed.

Lakhiwe:“
It
'swhatayearofmar
ri
agedoes,
my
l
ove,”webothlaughed.

Li
yema:“What
?Hel
lno,
comeher
e,”sher
ant
othe
bat
hroom.

Iwatchedherchocol atesel fdisappeari ntot he

bathroom.If ol
lowedherandf oundherbr ushing
herteeth.Isetthewat ertemper atureoft heshower
tomyl ikingbecauseLal alikeshershower shotand
I'
m notaboutt hatl
if
e.Il etherf i
nishbr ushingher
teet
handcar ri
edherintot heshower .Itookt he
showerscr ubandgel.Istar t
edt owashherbody.
Wedi dt urnstowasheachot herbutI'mt allerso
shecouldnotreachmyupperback.Ihadt oputher
onmybacksoshewoul dwasht hereandwebot h
l
aughedatt hesil
li
ness.West oodunderthewat er
andletitf
lowdownourbodi esr i
nsi
ngt hesoap
fr
om ourbodies.Ikissedherandwentmyway
downt okissandshowl ovetooneofmyf avori
te
spot
s.Shehadonel egovermyshoul derwhile
l
eaningont hewallforbal
ance.Ididmymagi cuntil
shecouldnotholdonanyl onger.Iwentupand
ki
ssedherf or
ehead.Shekissedmyl ipsandneck.
Shewasaboutt ogol owerbutIstoppedher .

Li
iyema:“
Lal
a,wespokeaboutt
hispl
ease,
”she
l
ookeddown.

Lakhiwe:“Wecanuseacondom, Li
yema,”shesaid
quiet
ly.Il
oveherbutIwi
llnotl
etherpr
eform or
al
pl
easur eonme.

Liyema:“
Thepl
easur
eisjustnott
hesameand
therei
snowayinhel
lI'
l
lletyoudoitwi
thout
prot
ecti
on.Let'sgetoutandgetreadyfortheday.I
wantyoutot akemeonami niroadtr
iptoday.We
needtotestyourcar,”Isai
dexcit
ingl
y.

Lakhiwe:“
Okay,
”shesaidwhiletakingatoweland
steppi
ngoutoftheshower.Idon'tknowhowmany
ofthesemoment swehavehad.Shedr iedherbody
andputherbodybutteron.“
Lakhiwe,”Isai
dsoftl
y
hopingshe'
dlookatmebutshewentt oherbag.

Lakhiwe:“
Thejeanyoupackedissmal l
,I
'vegained
weight,
”shesai
dwhilesear
chingforsomet hi
ng
el
se.Itookherhandandheldherclose.Ilookather
fi
rst
.

Li
yema:“Lal
a,I'
m sorr
yabouttheli
mitsmystat
us
putonoursexuall
if
e,”hereyest
earedup.“
Baby,
”I
added.

Lakhi
we:“
I'
m sor
ry.Iknowyout
oldmet
hatyou
don'
tli
kei
tbef
ore,
”Iki
ssedher
.

Li
yema:“ Areyoukiddi
ngme?Iwantust oexpl or
e
anyfantasi
eswehavet ogetheranddammi tIwould
l
ove..
.I
'm sorr
ybutIjustdon'tli
kerecei
vingoralsex
wit
hacondom onandIdonott hinkthemoment
wil
lbepleasantforyoueit
her ,
”

Lakhiwe:“Iunder
stand.Wher
edoyouwanttogo
today?”shewipedhertearof
fandsmi
led.

Liyema:“
Tal
ktome,
”Il
ookedather
.Idon'
twant
thist
ocomeupagai
nlat
erint
heday.

Lakhiwe:“
Iunder
stand,
Liyema,”sheki
ssedme.“
I
thi
nkIneedtogobacktogym, ”shechangedt
he
subject
.

Li
yema:“
I'
llr
enewyourmember
shi
p,”sheki
ssed
me.“
Butyourbodyi
sbeaut
if
ulal
ready,
”shesmi
led.

Lakhi
we:“Thankyou,baby.Letusdecideonthe
desti
nat
ionfort
heroadtipwhileontheroad
becauseIhaveafeel
ingwewi llt
alkabouti
tandgo
nowhere,”

Li
yema:“Becauseyouarei
ndeci
sive.Igotus
breakf
astbutI'
m sur
eit
scol
dnowandIki ndofat
e
some,”shelaughed.

Lakhiwe:“
Iwoul
dhavebeenmoreshockedhadyou
not.Wecangetsomet
hingont
heway.Whenwi l
l
wecheckout?
,”
Liyema:“Let
sspendanot
herni
ght
.I'
m notr
eadyf
or
reali
ty,
”

Shekissedmeandt hi
ngsgotheat
edagain.Mywife
rodemel i
kenoone'sbusi
nessandIlovedeach
second.Wegotreadytogooutandthenauseous
feel
ingIhadear li
erretur ned.Itwaswor set histime
becauseIendedupvomi ti
ng.It hinkmyt reatment
i
sgi vingmesi deeffectsagai nandIhat edt hati t
mademywi f
ewor r
ysomuch.It oldherIdon' tneed
adoct or.Idonotwantt hisdayt ogetr uined.We
wentouti ntothebeaut i
fulweat herandsheki ssed
andhuggedhercarwhenshesawi tagai n.I tfi
ts
hershor tselfperfectl
ybutl ookst oosmal lforme.
Shesai dwenowhaveacart ogoondat eni ghts.
Sheevenki ssedt heinside.It hinkshehasaf if
th
babynow.OneI 'm suret heboyswon' tbeal l
owed
toplaywi th.Shedr ovet oherf avorit
espotandwe
hadj unkforbr eakfast,wel lshedi d.Icoul dnot
standt hesmel lofthef ood.I '
m comi ngdownwi t
h
somet hingbutIwi l
ldealwi t
hi ttomor r
ow.I
promi sedheragr eatti
meandI '
m notgoi ngt o
breakt hepromi se.

LAKHI
WE

Li
yemat
hinksIdonotknowhi
m wel
lenought
osee
thathei snotokay.Af t
erayearofmar riagehe
shoul dgi vemesomecr edit
.Myhusbandhat es
beingsi ckwi t
hpassi on.Hei sact ual lytheonei n
thehousewhor ar el
yget ssickwhi let heboysandI
getf l
uandal l
ergies.Heassur edmehei sf i
nebut
whenIseehi m getwor seIwi l
ldr aghi mt othe
doct or.Hekeptsayi ngt hathewant st oappr eciate
measmuchashecant oday.Tomor rowi sanot her
day.Sur ewewon' thaveal onet imebuthecan
appr eciatemeatourhousewi thourki dspr esent
too.I'm notangr yaboutt heoralsexi ssue.Ij ust
hat ethati t'
snott hef ir
stt i
meI 'vegot tenupset
abouthi m notal l
owi ngmet odoi t.Idon' tmi nd
tryingwi t
hacondom.Ihaveneverper formedor al
onamanbutIwantt osobadl ywi thhi m, sobadl y.
Hewoul dl i
keittoo, hesai dithimsel f.Iwi shhe
usedacondom whenhewasmar riedt ohi sf i
rst
wi f
ebuti tistoolat eforwi shfulthinki ng.I
absol utelylovemycar .Ilovet heext eriorand
i
nt eri
or .Nobabyvomi tandf oodwi lleverbespi lled
i
nt hiscar .Thisonei smi neandImi ghtgi veLi yema
ar i
deever ynowandt hen.Hesai dhi st reatmenti s
maki nghi m havesi deef f
ectsagai nbutr efusedt o
startatthedoctorfir
st.Ihadaf eel i
ngthatwe
shouldgoj ustincasesoIdr ovet othedoctor
,he
wasnothappyabouti tatal
l.Itwasawal k-
indoctor
sowedi dnotneedanappoi ntmentandi twas
empt y.Hegothelpedi mmedi ately.Iwentinwith
him becauseIknowhewon' ttellthedoctorhi
s
sympt oms.Hewi lldil
utehissympt oms.Thedoctor
exami nedhim andaskedhi m whatheat elastni
ght.
Thedoct orsaidhemi ghthaveeat ensomet hi
ng
thatupsethissystem.Hegotgi venpi l
lsandwe
wereonourway.

Li
yema:“
Happyforwast
ingsomuchofourti
me
whenwecoul
dhavebeenchecki
ngthewinel
ands
bynow?,
”hel
ookedatme.

Lakhi
we:“Yes,Iam happy.Thewinel
andsar
enot
moreimportantthanyou.Stopbei
ngsuchaman,
”
helaughed.

Li
yema:“
Okay,
baby.SoRobi
nIsl
and?
,”he
suggest
ed.

Lakhiwe:“ No,baby.Whataboutt hatwouldbe

romant i
c?Iwast hi
nkingKir
stenboschGar denand
perhapst ablemount ai
nandt hengobackt ot he
hoteltoshowerandchangebef orewegoonadat e
nightatV&AWat er
fall
.Wil
lthatbewi t
hingour
budget?,”hesmi ledandnodded.Idr ovetoTable
Mount ai
n.“ Tellmewhywear enotsleepingat
homeagai nseeingast heki
dsar enotthere?”he
l
aughedl oudl y.

Li
yema:“Geez,al
lowamant ober omanticpl
ease,
”
webothlaughed.“Ijustwantedust oi
nourl i
tt
le
l
ovebubbletoday.Ifeelli
keIhavenotgi venyou
anyat
tenti
oninal ongwhi l
e.Plusyoumi ghthave
donel
aundrywhenhome, sohellno,
”Ilaughed.

Lakhi
we:“Youwon'tbesayi
ngthatwhenyoudon'
t
haveacleanshi
rtf
orchurchtomorr
ow,”
Li
yema:“I
'
llwasht
hecol
laraf
ewhour
sbef
oreI
weari
t,
”Il
aughed.

Lakhi
we:“Si
es,babyman.Nowhatwi
llpeoplesay?
Butdon'
tworry,
youhaveafewcl
eanonest hatj
ust
needstobeir
oned,”
Li
yema:“Youlooksexywhil
edrivi
ngyourcar
e,
baby,
”hewhistl
edandIblushed.

Lakhi
we:“Inear
lydr oveint
oat r
eeduetobl
ushi
ng.
Yourchar
mswi llki
llus,”welaughed.

Li
yema:“EvenifIdiet
oday,
I'
dgohavi
ngknowwhat
tr
uelovei
s,”helookedatme.Ihat
edt
hewayhe
saidi
tsomuch.

Lakhi
we:“Wel
lluckyforyouyourwif
eisagood
dri
versonodyi
ngf oranyofus,nott
oday,
”
Li
yema:“Iloveyou,Lal
a.Youdri
vefastt
hough.No
wondertheboyslooknervouswhentheyseeyou
ar
ebehindt hewheel,
”Il
aughedomuch.

Lakhi
we:“Igetthem homefr
om thei
rdesti
nati
on
safesoIdon'tknowwhytheylookbewil
dered.We
shouldal
somaket imetogotothebeach,
”

Li
yema:“
Idon'
thavecoi
nsonme,
”Il
ookedathi
m.

Lakhi
we:“
What
?”

Liyema:“I
'm at wi
nsoIgr ewupbei ngt oldthatI
shouldthrowi nacoinbeforegett
ingi ntothewater.
LuloandIdi dital
ltheti
meandIst i
lldo.Iactuall
y
throwacoi nwhenwegot othebeachwi ththe
boys,”Il
ookedathi m br
iefl
ywhilelookingatt he
roadahead.“ Don'
tlookatmel i
kethat .Ithought
youknewsi nceyouar ear ur
algir
l,baby,”
Lakhi
we:“
Ihaveneverseenyoudoi
t,Li
yema.St
op
l
ying,
”webot
hlaughed.

Li
yema:“Thenyoulear
nedsomet
hingnewabout
metoday,mylove,
”

Lakhi
we:“
Thepoorf
ishdi
eaf
terswal
lowi
ngt
hose
thi
ngs,
”

Li
yema:“
Wel
lIhavenochoi
ce,
”
Lakhi
we:“
Whathappensi
fyoudon'
doi
t?”

Li
yema:“Makhul
usai
dwemightdrown.Comeon,
babyi
tcan'
tbethef
ir
stt
imeyouhearthi
s,
”
Lakhi
we:“
Itact
ual
lyi
s,
”
Li
yema:“ Alsoapparentl
ywhenonet windiesthe
otherwi
llfollowtoobecauset
heoneont heother
si
dei sl
onel ywit
houtthei
rtwi
n,”hiswordslef
ta
chil
li
ngfeelingonmyback.Ihat edit
.
Lakhiwe:“Okay,
nobeacht henandnoparanor
mal
stuf
feitherpl
ease.Ievenhatet
hetoneyousaidi
t
i
n,”

Li
yema:“I
'
m sor
ry,
”hel
eanedcl
osert
oki
ssmy
cheek.

Wef i
nal lyarrivedatTabl eMount ain.Wet ookt he
fi
vemi nutecabl ecarupandi twasanamazi ng
experience.I'vebeeni nCapeTownf oryear sbut
havenevergot tentoseei t.Li
yemasai dweshoul d
fi
rststartwi t
hagui dedtourandt hispl aceis
breathtakinglybeaut i
ful
.Wet ooksomanypi ct
ures
andst rangerswer eki ndenought ot akepi cturesof
us.Myhubbygotmeani cecr eam andgothi mself
somej ui
ce.Wet ooki nthebeaut i
fulvi ewofCape
Townwhi l
eont opoft hemount ai
n.Hehel dmeso
ti
ghtl
ywhi lewequi etlylookedatt hevi ew.West ood
l
ikethatf orawhi l
eandst olesomeki ssest oo.A
guycamet ogr eetus.Hegaveuspi ctur eswhi lewe
heldeachot her.Het ookt hem wi thoutuseven
realizi
ngandt heywer ebeaut i
ful .Hehadoneof
thosecamer ast hatpr intpict ur esouti mmedi ately.
Liyemat ookoutmoneyt opayhi m buthesai di t
sa
gift
.Wel ookedatt het wopi ct ur es.Heeven
capt uredoneofourst olenki sses.OhbutGod' s
peopl ear eever ywher ethough.Af terweenj oyed
Tabl eMount ainIdr ovet otheKi rstenbosch
Gar densandwowi twasbeaut iful.Wet ookawal k
whi l
ehol dinghands.Hecar r i
edmeonhi sbackt oo.
Thedaywentbysoqui ckly.Ideci dedagai nstt he
beach.Ihavecoi nsbutI '
m st illfreakedoutbywhat
hesai d.HowhaveIneverr eal izedt hatheput s
coinsi nthewat erfirstevenwi thourchi ldren?
Maybebecausei tst helastt hingIt houghtsomeone
woul ddo.Wewentbackt ot hehot elandshar ed
sever alsteamyr oundsbef or ewewentt oshower
andgetr eadyf ordi nner.Ithasbeent hebestdayso
far.Itwasawar m ni ghtsoI 'm gl adHl ubipacked
memor edr essest hanpant s.Wedr ovet otheV&A
Wat erfront.Whenwear edr ivingt ogether ,
Liyema
alwayspr eferst odot hedr ivingbutnott oday.He
hasbeenahappypassenger .Iguesshewant sme
t
oenjoymygif
t.Hehel
dontohi
schestjustaswe
wer
eaboutt
owal kt
ooneoft
herest
aurants.

Li
yema:“
Ithi
nkIover
didi
tatgym yest
erday,
”
Lakhiwe:“Let
sgetourmoney'swor t
hbygoingback
tothehotelandgett
ingroom ser
vice.I
'
m noti
nthe
moodf orpeopleanyway,”

Liyema:“Liar.Youlovepeopl e.Comel etsgoi n

beforetheytakeourf avoritet able,
”heopnedhi s
doorandst eppedout .Itookmybagandwentout
too.Hehel dmyhandwhi lewewal kedinsi
de.We
gotinsidetheplaceandf oundourspotempt y.We
havehaddat eni ght
sher ebef ore.Hewasaboutt o
standt owashhi shandsbuthel osthisbalance
whi l
eholdinghischest.Ist oodqui ckl
yt ohelphim
backi nhisseat.Thewai terrant oust oaskifwe
areokayandIsai dnobutLi yemasai dyes.

Lakhi
we:“
Pleasehel
pmegethi
mint
hecar
.I'
m
dri
vingyout
ohospi
tal
,Li
yema,
”Isai
d.Iwasnot
aski
ng.

Li
yema:“
Okay,
“Iknewsomet
hingwaswr
ongwhen
hedi
dnotevenobjectt
ometaki
nghi
mtohospi
tal
.

Thet womengothi mi nt hecarandaskedi fI’

llbe
abl etodrive.I'm scar edandwor ri
edbutIpr ef
ert o
takehi m mysel f.Likehesai d, Itendt ospeed.I
dr oveoff.Iunbut tonedhi sshi rtal lt
hewaywhenI
stoodatt her obot s.Hei sstruggl i
ngtobr eath.I
finall
ygott ot hehospi talandwenti nsidetogoask
forhelptogethi mi n.Thest affr anoutwi thmeand
tookhi mi nside.Iwentt opar kthecarsi nceIst ood
att heambul ancespot .Iquickl yr uninside.They
hadt akenhi mi nal ready.Isor tedoutt hepaper work
andaskedwhatwasgoi ngonbutnoonecoul d
answer .Ayoungnur secameoutandaskedi f
Liyemai st akinganymedi cati
on.It ookouthi s
treatmentandt hepi llst hathegotear l
ieron.She
ranbacki nsidewi tht hem.Ical ledMmat otellher
thatI'
m atthehospi t
alandt heyneedt ocomeas
soonaspossi bl e.Wehavebeent hroughsomuch
alr
eadyandIt houghtwewoul dgetabr eakf ora
while.Itwasevendi ff
iculttopr aybecauseIwasso
worried.Isatandwai tedf orsomeonet ot el
lme
whati sgoingon.Thef ami l
yfoundmest il
lsitt
ing.I
tol
dt hem whatwasgoi ngonandwewer eal l
worried.Theki dsar ewi thHlubibutshecal ledme
andt ol
dmeal lwi l
lbef ine.Finall
yanur secameout
andIwentt oher .Ihavenotshedonet earbecause
myhusbandi snoweakl ing,hei sjustexhaust ed.

Mma:“Wehavebeenwait
ingher
eforalongti
me.
Tel
luswhatiswr
ong,
”shedemanded.Thenurse
l
ookedl
ikeshewoul
dgetintr
oubl
eifshetol
dus.

Nurse:“
I'm sorry.
..
Hehadahear tat
tackbutIcan'
t
saymor eunt i
lthedoctor
sar edonewi t
hhim.Ineed
togetbacki n,
”sher anback.IsatdownandIdi d
notcry.
Lungi
:“Heistheheal
thi
estper
sonIknow.Noway
hecouldhaveadamnhear tat
tack,
”hewentaf
ter
thenur
sebutgotstopped.

Mma:“ Shedi
dnotsayhei
sdeadsot
her
eisst
il
l
hope.Letuspr
ay,
”shesai
d.

Lakhi
we:“
Iwantt
oseehi
m,notpr
ay,
”
Mma:“
Inti
mesoftr
oubleyouprayf
oral
lofusso
dot
hesameforhi
mt oopl
ease,
”shepl
eaded.

Lakhiwe:“
Thethi
ngsLi
yemaspoket
oday,
Mmaand
hewascl i
ngyandyouknowhei
snotacli
ngy
person,
”

Sheheldmyhandsi nhersandpr ayed.Mmawas

notonet opraybutshedid.Neitherofuscr i
ed
ei
ther.Lungiwastheonepani ckingt hemostand
myowncal mnessfreakedmeout .Isaidasil
ent
prayeralone.Aheartatt
ack?Ofal lthingshegota
hear tattack?It houghtt hosewer ef orol dpeople.
Whatcoul dhavecausedi t?Istheexhaust i
onf i
nal
ly
takingat ollonhi m?Di dIcausei tbymaki nghim go
outandbeonhi sf eetalldayevenaf terwewentt o
adoct or?Hl ubical ledtoaskhowhei sdoi ngand
wehadnoanswer sforher .Lungiwasl osinghis
mi ndwi theachsecondt hatpassed.Iguesshe
fearedhi sbr otherwoul dgoandhewoul dhavet o
ber esponsi blefort hefami ly.Hehadbet ternotdie
onmeaf terhepr omisedmemanymor e
anni versaries.Whyam Isocal m?Whyam Inot
crying?Myr eact ionisasoddashear ingthatmy
hubbyj usthadahear tattackbecauseher eall
yis
heal thi
ert hanal lofuscombi ned.Ist oodand
wal kedupanddownt hepassage, hehasnoteven
seenhi sgi f
tsot hathear tofhisbet ternott estme.I
tookmyheel sof fandwal kedont hecoolf loor
withoutshoes.Ist i
llhadnot ears,notasi ngleone.

PS:THESTORYI
SALMOSTFINI
SHED,
GUYS.
ONLYONEORTWOCHAPETRSANDWEWI LL
REACHTHEEND.THANKYOUONCEAGAI
NFOR
READI
NGANDCOMMENTI
NG.ILOVEYOU,
GUYS
[
03/
28,
17:
32]Lynne:SI
XTY

LAKHI
WE

4Hour s,50Mi nutesand19seconds.Thati show

l
ongIsatwhi l
ewai ti
ngt ohearwhati shappeni ng
withmyhusband.Iwasof feredfoodandwat erbutI
want ednonoft hat.Iwant edt oseehim.Mmahas
beent ryingtokeepst r
ongf ormebuthereyest ell
meever ythi
ng.Theyhadf eari nthem, lotsoff ear.A
fearofhear ingthatherchi ldhasdi ed.Lungiof fer
ed
mehi sjacketbutIdi dn'
twanti t
.IworeLi yema' s
shirtthatItookof fbeforehewenti n.Istillshedno
tearsandIdonotknowwhy.Oneoft hedoct or sI
sawr ani nwi t
hhi m cameout .MmaandLungi
j
umpedup.Ist oodandsl owlywal kedt ohi m.Iwas
draggingmyf eetbecauseIhavenotwor nshoes
sinceI '
vecomeher e.Theywer eicecol dand
sli
ght l
ynumb.Icoul dseet helookoff rustrati
onon
Mma' sfacebecauseofmysl owwal kingbutshe
di
dnotdar
esayanyt
hing.If
inal
lyr
eacht
hem.

Doctor
:hefir
sttookadeepbreathandexhal
ed."He
wentincar
diacarrestsohi
sheartst
opped..
."he
sai
dmor eforsurebutIwentdeafsoIcoul
dn'thear
.

Ifeltwar mt earsgl i
dedownmycheeks.Icoul dn't
feelmyl egsei thersoIwasi nLungi 'sarmsf or
suppor twhileIwentdownt ot hef l
oor.Li
yema' s
shirtonmei sbi g.It ookmyar msoutofi t
ssl eeves
andcover edmyupperbodyandf acewi t
hit.Icoul d
smel lhim, i
twasl i
keI 'minhi sarms.Isatont he
fl
oorl egscr ossed, cover i
ngmysel fwithmy
husband' sshi r
thopi ngIcoul dj ustdisappear.How
couldt hehear tthatl ovedmej uststop?Year swi t
h
Bongawhodi dnotcar eifIdiedlikeadog.Ayear
withmysoul mat enowt his?Howunf airi
sthisl ife
thatwel ivein?Mmawant edtouncovermyf acebut
Iwasnotr eadyt ol etmyf aceoutofhi sshirt,ithas
hisscent .Ipushedherawayf r
om meaggr essi vely
andwat chedherf alltothef l
oor.I'm sorr
ythatIdi d
i
tbutIhadnochoi ce, shewant edt ot akemeaway
from him andI 'm notr eady.Icr i
edf orr aisingmy
handatmymot herandbecausemyhome
collapsed.Ihi dmyf acei nhi sshi rtagai n.Lungi
attempt edtopi ckmeupbutIf ought .If oughtunt il
hegotof fme.Whywon' ttheyl eavemeal one?Mma
tri
edherl uckagai nbyt ryingt otaket heshi r
tfrom
myf acebutonceagai nIputonaf i
ght .Thi st i
meI
wasnotbei ngdr amat i
c,Ijustdi dnotwantt opar t
wi t
hwhat '
smyhusband' s.Ot herhospi t
alst afftr
ied
tohol dmedown.Iwasscr eami ngandcr yingwhi le
theyhel dme.Iwasl i
keat oddl erthrowi nga
tant r
um att hemal lwhi leot her swat ched.Mmakept
onsayi ngt heywon' tt akehi sshi r
twhi lecr yi
ngt oo.
"Mybaby, holdont oi tbutpl easej ustcal m down"I
hear dherpl eadwhenmyear sf i
nallyl etsoundback
i
n.Idi dn'tcalm down.Icoul dn' tcalm down.If elta
prickonmyshoul der .Af ewmi nutesaf terIf el
tmy
def ensesgetweak.Theshi rtslidfrom my
shoul dersandLungit ooki tandkepti t.Ifel t
stripped.Isati nthehospi talpassagewi t
hpeopl e
l
ooki ngatmeandIf eltexposed.It henwentt o
sleep.Iwokeupwi thapai ni nmyl eg.Iwasal onein
theroom butMmacamei n.Iremembereveryt
hing
thathappenedearli
eron.Ididnotwanttospeakto
her.Igotofft
hebedbutl ostmybalancebecauseof
thepaininmyl eg.Il
ookedatitandIhadabig
purplespotonmyl eg.

MrsE:"Youhititagai
nstachairwhenyoufought
usoff,
"shesaidbutIkeptquiet
."You'
vegotsome
st
rength,mybaby,"sheadded.

Lakhi
we:"
Iwantt
oseemyhusband,
"Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Mr
sE:"
Okay,
letusgo,
"shehel
pedmeup.

Lakhiwe:"Andnoonewi llgi
vemeanyhassleswit
h
funeralprepar
ati
on.Iknowhim soIwi
llar
range
everythi
ng,"

Mr
sE:"
Okaywhent
het
imecomesf
ort
hatt
henno
onewillstandinyourway.I '
m sureI'l
lbedeadby
thenbecauseIseeLi yemal i
vinguntil100,"she
l
aughed.Il ookedather ."Youarenotawi dow.Had
youwai t
edf orthedoct ortofi
nishtalki
ngbef or
e
youreacted,you'dhavehear dhi m sayLiyemawent
i
ntocardiacar restbecauseoft heheartattackbut
theymanagedt osavehi m becausehehadi twhil
e
theywerest i
llbusywi t
hhi m sotheymanagedt o
savehim,"Ilookedather .

Lakhi
we:“
Don'
tpl
aywi
thme,
Mma,
”Isai
dsof
tl
y.

MrsE:“Doyout hi
nkIwoul dhavebeenthi
scalm.I
wouldhavethreatenedtosuethi
senti
rehospi
talf
or
notbei
ngabl etosavemyson.Theyhadt osedate
youtocalm youdown.Comel etmetakeyouto
him,
”sheheldmywai standIl
impedtowhereshe
l
edtheway.

Idon'
tknowwhyIdonotbel i
eveher.Maybeit
's
becausetheyhadussi
tforhoursnottel
li
ngus
whati swr ongwi t
hhi m.Whydi dhi shear tst op?
Lungisawusandcoul dnothel pbutr unt omet o
hugme.I 'vegott hemostamazi ngi nlawsever .I
feelli
keI '
m oneoft hesi blingswhenwear eall
together.Mmabr okeLungi 'shugandwemadeour
wayt oLi yema' sroom.Whenwewenti nhewas
strappedt ohospi talmachi nes.Mmaexpl ainedthat
mor etest sarebei ngdonet odet ermi newhat
causedhi shear tattackandt hecar diacar r
est.She
alsosai dhehasaki dneyi nf ection.WasLi yema
sickforawhi l
eandkeptqui etabouti t?Al lthese
healthcompl icati
onscoul dnothavedevel oped
overnight, r
ight?Mmasatmedownont hechai r
nexttot hebedandhuggedmebef oreleavi ngthe
room.Il ookedatmyhusbandf orthel ongestt i
me.
Hel ooksdi fferent,sti
llhandsomebutdi fferent.I
heldhishandandt hewar mt hofi tmademebow
myheadt othankGodt hatt herei sst il
lli
fe.Idon' t
carewhatcondi ti
onhewakesupi n,Iwi l
lbebyhi s
sideeveni fthishear tattackdi dper manentdamage.
Ipromi sedhi mt obewi t
hhi mi nbadheal t
ht oobut
I'
m happyt hatdeat hhasnotyetpar tedus.Iwi sh
hecoul dwakeupeveni fit'
sj usttosay“ Hi”and
thensl
eepagain.Heisnoti
nacomabutison
heavymedicat
ion.Iki
ssedhi
shandandl
aidmy
headonit
.

Lakhi we:“ Lovi ngandf ighti

ng.Accusi
ng, uniti
ng.I
can' timagi neawor l
dwi t
hyougone.Thej oyand
thechaos, thedemonswe' r
emadeof .I'
dbesol ost
i
fyoul eftmeal one.Canyouhearmescr eaming
"pleasedon' tleaveme? "Holdon,Isti
llwantyou.
Comeback, Istil
lneedyou.Letmet akeyourhand,
I'
llmakei tright .Isweartoloveyouallmyl i
fe.Hold
on, Istil
lneedyou, ”IsangChordOver str
eet's“Hold
On”t ohim sl owl yandsof t
lyhopinghehear sme.
Thi sismusi chei ntr
oducedmet o.

I'
m nosinger .InfactIsingoutoft unealot,evenat
church.Bef oreLiyemaIonl yli
stenedtolocalmusic
butwhenImar ri
edhim, heopenedmeupt o
dif
ferenttypesofmusi c.HoldonisasongIusedt o
l
ikewhi l
ei tpl
ayedi nthebackgroundashewashed
thecarorwasj ustbusyhavi nghisalonemom net s.
I'
m notevensureIsangi tri
ghtbutIhopehehear s
me.Ineedhimt oholdonbecauseIst il
lneedhim.I
l
ookeduphopi nghewoul dhavehear dmeand
wakeupbuthewasst il
lasleep.Ikissedhisl
ipsbut
unli
kehiswarm hands,theywer ecoolonmi ne.I
putmyheadonhi schestandcoul dhearhisheart
beati
ngslowly.Ij
uststayedlikethatforawhile.I
t
canneverstopagain,never.

Lakhiwe:“ Andyoul ightupmyl ife.Yougi veme

hopet ocar ryon.Youl ightupmydaysandf il
lmy
nightswi t
hsong.Rol l
in'atsea,adr i
ftont hewater.
Couldi tbef i
nallyI
'mt urnin'f
orhome? .Final
lya
chancet osay" Hey,Il
oveyou" Neveragai nt obeall
alone,”IsangDebbi eBoone' s“Youl i
ghtupmyl if
e”.
It
'soneofhi sfavori
tet oobutI'm sur eI'
m not
si
ngingi tright.Ial
wayst easedhi m andsaidhehas
whitepeopl emusi ctast ebutIlistenwhenhepl ays
i
t.

Ist
il
lhadmyheadagai
nsthi
schestl
ist
eni
ngt
ohi
s
heartbeat .Thathear tbeatsf orsomanyofusandi t
can'tstopagai n.Igotupandst artedt owal kar ound
i
nhi sr oom whi l
esinginghi sf avoritesongs.I '
m
sureI '
m hur ti
nghi sear swi thmybadsi ngingvoi ce
butheneedst oknowt hatI '
m wai tingforhi mt o
wakeup.Iwoul dlookathi m whenIendasongbut
hiseyeswer est il
lclosed.Isanghi sf avor i
techur ch
songst oo.Iknowt hosewel l
.Icoul dst i
llfeelt he
paininmyl egbutIst il
lwal kedar oundhi sr oom
si
ngi ng.Anur secamei nt ocheckonhi m.Idi dnot
carei fIlookl ikeamadwomant oher .Iwi llannoy
Li
yemawi thmybadsi ngingunt i
lhewakesup.Had
Ihadanysl ipper sI'
dhavedr aggedmyf eetwhi le
walkingar ound.Hecan' tstandt hathabi tofmi ne.
Thenur sel eftmesi ngingwhi lemovi ngf r
om one
si
deoft her oom t otheot her.“I'
dbesol osti fyou
l
eftmeal one.Canyouhearmescr eaming" please
don'tleaveme? "
.Irepeat edlysangt hosel inesover
andoveragai nwhi l
est il
lmovi ng.Myl egwasi n
painbutIsangt hosel i
nesf rom “ Hol dOn”overand
overagai n.
LI
YEMA

Isatwi t
hLul onkeont hegr eengr ass.I '
venever
seensuchgr eengr assi nmyl i
feandt herewer e
flower sallovert heplace.I twasl ikeaf orestbuta
gar denf oresti fthatevenmakessenseandLul onke
heldmyhandsi nceweent eredi tandIwal kedwi t
h
herbecauseI '
vemi ssedher .Wesatdownbecause
Ihaveapai ni nmychest .Itcamesuddenl y
becauseIf eltnot hi
ngsi nceImetLul oatt hisplace.
Mysi stertouchedmychestandt oldmet hepai n
woul dendi fwekeeponwal king.Shehasnotaged
onebi t
.Stillthebeaut i
fulyoungt eenagerIl astsaw.
Itfeelsgoodt obewi t
hher .“I'
dbesol ostifyoul eft
meal one.Canyouhearmescr eami ng"pleasedon' t
l
eaveme? ", Lalasangbutf rom af ar.Iknowi ti
sher
becauseIknowhersi nging.I tist er
ribl
ebutshe
l
ovessi nging.Thepai ninmychestbecamemor e
i
nt ense.Lal asangt hatl ineagai nandagai n.Why
woul dshet hinkI 'dleaveheral one?Myeyes
sear chedf orherbutal lIcoul dhearwashersi nging.
Lulol ookedatme.Shesmi led, kissedmyf orehead
andtoldmeshelovesme.Ilovehert
oobuti
t
soundedli
keshewassayinggoodbye.

Lulo:“Go, ”shesai dwhi lepointingbackwar ds.What ?

Ididn'twantt ol eaveheral one.It houghtLal awoul d
surelyf oll
owbehi ndandf i
ndus.Hervoi cesounded
close.I'm sur eshej usttookawr ongt ur
ni nthe
gardenandgotl ostbutshewi llcomeandwecan
takeawal kwi thLul onke.Ishookmyheadsayi ng
not oLul ochasi ngmeawayf rom t hisbeaut if
ul
place.“ Go, Liyema, ”sher epeat edIshookmyhead
quicklyt hist i
me.“ Go! ,
”sheshout edagai nbutt his
ti
meherf acet ur nedf rom beaut if
uli ntoonef i
ll
ed
withbl oodandgl asspi eces.Itscar edmesomuch
thatIendeduppassi ngout ,i
tal lwentdar k.Icould
stil
lhearLal asi nging.Sher epeat edt hesamel ines
of“Hol dOn” .Iopenedmyeyesandhear dbeepi ng
soundsmi xedwi thLakhi we'ssi nging.Shesounded
ti
red.Youknowwhenyouhavebeendoi ng
somet hi ngf ortool ongandi tendsupwear ingyou
down?Shesoundedl ikeshehadbeensi ngingf or
hoursbecauseshesoundedoutofbr eathtoo.What
i
sgoi ngon?Ihat ehowabeaut ifuldream ofmy
sisterturnedi ntoani ghtmar e.Itriedtogetupbut
mychestf eltabi tti
ght.Ilookedar ound, I
'
mi n
hospi t
al.Iremember edwhathappened.Thechest
painandst rugglingtobr eath.Icaughtagl impseof
Lakhiwewal kingt othecor nerstillsingi
ng.She
disappear edf rom mysi ghtagai nbutst il
lsangonl y
toappr earagai n.Shei swal kingf rom cornerto
cornersi nging.Ihavet ost opherbecausesher eall
y
didsoundl i
keonewhoi sgoi ngt opassoutwhi le
doingt hat.Somet hi
ngser iousmusthavehappened
tomei fshei ssingingasongpl eadingf ormenott o
l
eaveher .Ihadt ogetherat tenti
onsomehow.

Li
yema:“ Foreverseemsl i
kea. .l
ongtime. .
.,
”I
start
edtosingEmi lyHacket t
”s“ TakeMyHand”
softl
y.Sherant othesidemyheadwast urnedt o.
Shejustfrozelookingatmewhi lestandingf arfrom
me.“ Butnothi
ngseemsl i
keal ongt i
mewhenI 'm
withyou.Ifeelli
keI'm walki
ngonwat er
s.Sincet he
daythatIaskedyourf ather.Tol etgoofhi s
daughter.
..
Sogi vemeyourbl essing,sir
.I'
llgiveher
allt
hat..
.t
hatI 'vegot .Itdoesn'tlooksli
kemuch.But
i
tsuref eel
sl ikeal ot .Lethertakemyhear tandtake
myhand.Takemyhear tandt akemyhand.Take
myhear tandt akemyhandagai nandagain.Right
wherewest and.I '
veneverr eall
yknowwhatl oveis.
Butwhat everi tisIf eeliti
nyourki ss,
”Isangonly
unti
ltherebecauseIwasst ar
tingtogetoutof
breath.Shest illst
oodbyt hecabinthatwasinthe
room justlooki ngatme.Cansheseeme?Ismi led
butshest i
lljuststoodt hereandIwasst ar
ti
ngto
worry.“Baby,”Ical ledoutqui etly.

Shest art
edtocr yandsanktothefloorsl
owl y.She
curl
edupagai nstt
hecabinandcried.Itr
iedto
movet ogett oherbutmybodywasnotal lowing
met o.Iwant edtoholdher.Whywon'tshecome
cl
oser?Ipr essedthedevicetocal
lforhelp.Anur se
appear edsoonaf t
erandIpoint
edtoLala.

Liyema:“Pl
e..
.pl
easecheckonmywi f
e,”Isai
dand
thenurserantothefl
oortocheckonLakhiwe.
Nurse:“
Mam, areyouokay?Shoul
dIcal
ladoct
or?
”
sheasked.Lakhi
weshookherhead.

Lakhi
we:“No,I.
..
I'
m okayt
hatyou,Ij
ustneeda
minutes,
”shesaidwhil
esnif
fi
ng.Thenursejust
nodded.

Nurse:“
Shewi l
lbefi
ne,sir.It
'sjustt
hejoyofseeing
youawake.Ihadtheasimi larreacti
onwhenmy
husbandhadast r
okethreeyear sago.Giveherti
me,
Iwil
lgetyourdoct
orandt ellhim youar
eawake”
shesmiledandlef
tusaloneagai n.

Iforcedmysel ftositupt houghitwasabitpai

nful
,
mor ediscomfortthanpai nthough.Anymanwho
l
oveshi swifewi l
ltellyouthatther
eisnogreat
er
painthanwat chingyourwi f
ecryandyoucando
nothingabouti t
.It
sevenwor sewhenyouar et
he
reasonbehindhert ear s.Iwait
edforhersi
nceI
can'tgotoher.Shef inal
lyputherhandont hewal l
behindherforbal anceandstoodupsl owly,her
dresswasupr eveali
ngherthighs.Shehasabr uise
andIwonder edwhathappened.Shewi pedher
tearsoffandlookedatme.

Lakhi
we:“Di
dyouhearmesi
ng?
,”sheaskedsof
tl
y.
Ismil
ed.

Li
yema:“Comecl
oserandI'
llt
ellyou,
”Ipl
eaded.
Shewalkedt
omeslowly.“
CanIhaveaki ssplease,
”
Iadded.

Lakhi
we:“Idon'
tgivekissest
opeopl
ewhomade
mebelievet
heydied,”shesai
d.

Liyema:“I
'm so..
.,
”herli
pswereonmi nebefor
eI
couldfi
nish.Shebr oket
hekissandcriedwhil
eher
facewasst il
lagai
nstmine.Iheldt
hebackofher
neckandki ssedheragain.“
Ipromisedyouso
much.Ipr omi sedt oannoyyouf oragoodcoupl eof
years.Ipr omi sedt obeatyourgr aduation.I
promisedyout heweddi ngofyourdr eams.Anew
car,homer enovat ionbutmosti mpor t
antlytolove
youmor ewi t
hal lt
heyear swewi llbetogether.Not
ayear ,
year s.Iwoul dnotl eaveyouwi thfourboys,
fourdamnboyswhom Iknowwoul dhavegi venyou
hassleswhenI 'm nottherewhent heyreachpuber t
y.
Idon'tthinkl if
ewoul dbesocr uelast odepr i
veus
ofmor eyear stoget her.I'
m hereandyesIhear dyou
scream “pl easedon' tl
eaveme” .Ihear dyousi ng
l
oudandcl ear,”Isaidwhi lecryingandt ookshallow
quickbreat hs.

Shegotont hebedandgotont opofme.Idon' t

thi
nkshet houghtitthroughbecauseI'm stil
lhurti
ng
abitbutIletherholdme.Il etherf
eelt hatI'
m ali
ve.
Ili
stenedtohersof tsobswhileherfacewasi nmy
neck.Adoct orcamei nandhel ookconcer nedthat
mywi fewasont opofmewhi l
eI'
m connect edto
hismachinesbutIr aisedmyhandt ot ellhi
m notto
moveher .Sheisheavyt odaybutonlybecauseI '
m
weakbutI'l
lal
lowhertoletgoherself
.Shenoti
ced
thehospi
talst
aff
'spresenceintheroom and
quickl
ypull
edhersel
ftogether
.Shegotof ft
hebed
andapologi
zed.Thedoctortoldhernott
owor r
y.I
heldontoherhand.

Liyema:“Whathappenedt
ome?Pl easedon'
tuse
bigmedicalter
msIwon'tunder
stand,
”Il
ookedat
thedoctor.

Doct or:“Whenyourwi fecamei nwi thyou, youhad

suf f
eredahear tattackbutsoonwenti ntocardiac
arrest.Itwassuddenbutf ortunatelyyouwer e
alreadyi nourcarewheni thappenedsowe
managedt ogetyourhear tbeatingaf terafew
seconds.I t'
snotlikelyforcardiacar reststooccur
afterahear tat
tackbutyourwi fedr oveyouher e
quick.Hadyouryourhear tstoppedwhi l
eelsewhere,
wecoul dbespeaki ngat otal
lydifferentt hi
ngr i
ght
now, ”hesaid.ItookLal a'
shandandki ssedit.Her
highspeeddr i
vingpai doff.“
Youal sohaveki dney
i
nfecti
onbutnothi
ngseri
ousasofyetandwehope
i
twillr
emainthatway,
”

Li
yema:“
CanIgohome?
”

Doctor
:“Notyet
,MrEl
ephant
.Maybei
naf
ew
weeksorso,”

Li
yema:“Sowhatcausedalloft
his.Idon'
tsmoke,
dri
nkandIeatcl
eanmostt i
mes.Whathappened?
Whatshoul
dIstopinorderfort
histoneverhappen
again?
”

Doctor:“FornowYourtreatment.Ar
eyou
comfortablewit
hdiscussingyourhealt
hissuesi
n
fr
ontofyourwi fe?
”heasked.Whatki ndofa
questi
oni sthat
?

Li
yema:“
Sheknowsaboutmyst
atussoyoumay
carr
yon.Whyshoul dIst
opmyt r
eat
mentbecause
I'
m assumingyou'r
eref
err
ingt
omyHI Vt
reat
ment,”
thedoctornodded.

Doctor:“
Itappear
st hati
tisthecauseoft
his
becauseitunderminesyourimmunesystem which
canleadtoyourorgansf ai
li
ng,Howlonghaveyou
takenthem?,”

Li
yema:“
Overf
ouryears,
”helookedatt
henurse
andt
heybot
hhadast r
angelookonthei
rfaces.

Doct
or:“
Wetest
edyou,
MrElephantandwef
ound
notr
aceofHI
Vanti
bodi
esi
nallthetest
sweran,
”

Li
yema:“Wellyeaht
hatisbecausethetreat
ment
hasbeenworkingwell
.Myvirall
oadisundetect
abl
e.
Surel
yyoushouldknowthat,
”Ilookedathim.
Doctor:“Youdonotunder st
and, si
r.Wef ound
absolutelynot raceofHI Vinyourbl oodoranyot her
sampl est aken.Wesentyourbl oodt othr
ee
dif
ferentlabsbutt heyf oundthesamet hing.It
seemsyouwer emi sdiagnosedbutt hatisnotl i
kely
tohappenunl essyourbl oodsampl egotmi xedup
withanot herper son'sbutevent hent heyshoul d
havenot icedsoonaf terandcor rectedtheir
mistake,”hesai dsoundi ngsure.IlookedatLal a
andwewer ebot hconf used.

Li
yema:“ButIgof
ormyviral
loadtest
sandCD4
Countchecksast
oldandmydoctorpi
ckednot
hing
up,
”

Nurse:“Howcredibl
eisyourdoct
or?Whoishe?
”he
asked.I
shekiddingme?Woul dIgotoabogus
doctor
?

Li
yema:“
DrBancr
oft
,”Isai
dcal
mly.
Doct or:“Heisagr eatdoctorsoIdonotknowwhat
theexpl anati
onbehi ndthiscoul dbe.Wewi llrun
mor et estsbutI'
m certai
nt hatyouhavebeen
mi sdiagnosedandhavebeent aki
ngt r
eatmentf ora
vir
usyoudon' thavef oryearsandt heeff
ectsare
starti
ngt oshow.Whenaper sonisHI VPositi
vet he
drugsmaket heirimmunesyst em st r
ong.Withyou
i
tmakesi tweakbecauseyoudon' thavethevirus.
I'
m sur pri
sedaf t
ersomanyyear syouar eonlyher e
now.Youror ganswer estar t
ing,”helookedatme.I
donotunder stand.

Lakhi
we:“Ar
eyouabl
etopreventt
hatf
rom
happeni
ng,t
heor
ganfai
lur
e?”
Doct
or:“
Wear ewaiti
ngfortheothert
estresul
tst
o
seet
heextentofthedamage.FornowI '
mt aki
ng
youofft
heHIVtreatment
,”helookedatme.

Li
yema:“
No,
no,
Idon'
twantt
hat
,”Ishookmyhead.
Lakhi
we:“
Liyemat
heyar
emaki
ngyousi
ck,
”she
l
ookedatme.

Li
yema:“
Stoppi
ngwi l
lmakemesicker
,baby.Ican'
t
st
opthet
reatment
,”Il
ookedatt
hedoctor.

Doctor:“
Wel lasyourdoct orIsayyouwi l
lbecause
i
tisinyourbesti nter
est
.Iwon'tkeepf eedingmy
pati
entsomet hingthatmightbekillhi
m.Pl ease
excusemewhi leIgocallDrBancroftandaskhi m
foryourfi
le.Iwi llcomearoundlaterwhenIhave
mor eanswer s,”hesaidandwal kedout .

Thenur sestayedandwentonaboutherbusi ness.I

askedhertoexpl ai
ntomeagai nandsheexpl ained
i
tast heydidaf ewminutesagobutIwasst il
l
confused.Somanyyear softakingthesepil
lsand
havingtotakethecrappysideeffect
sthatcame
wit
hi t
,I'
mt olditmi
ghtal
lhavebeenf ornothing?
Thenur
selef
taf
terexami
ningme.Lal
ast
oodcl
oser
andl
ookedatme.

Lakhi
we:“Letuswai
tfort
heothert
estshespoke
aboutbutfornowl
etustr
ustt
hem,”shesai
d.

Li
yema:“Nothi
ngmakessense,
Lala.Ihavebeen
goi
ngforcheckupsandyouhaveseenthereport
s
onsomeofthose,
”

Lakhi
we:“
Maybeyoudoct
ormadeami
stake.Hei
s
anoldman,baby,
”
Liyema:“ Forsomanyyear s,baby?Ami stakeofso
manyyear s?Thesepeoplearet heoneswhohavei t
wr ong.I
'vebeenwithmydoct orforyears.Theman
usedt ogivemesweet safteracheckupwhenIwas
aboy.Ihaveneverwentt oanot herdoctor.Even
whenhewasnotar oundI'
dwai tforhimt or eturn
that'
showmuchIt rusthim.Thesepeopl ear ejust
messi ngwi t
hmyemot i
onsrightnow.I fIdon' ttake
myt r
eatmentt
henthi
svir
uswil
lreal
lyshowmy
damni mmunesyst
em hel
l,
”Ir
aisedmyvoicewhi
le
taki
ngquickbr
eat
hs.

Lakhiwe:“OkayIhearyouandyouhaveapoi ntbut
pleasecalm down.Yourhearti
ssti
llf
ragil
e.They
saiditcantakemonthstorecoverfr
om ahear t
attackandIdonotwantyouhavi nganotheragain,
”
Iheardthefearinhervoi
ce.Iwouldnotwantt ohurt
herandscar eheragai
nsoIcalmedmysel fdown.

Iaskedhert ogetont opoft hebedagai n.Imoveda

bitt omakespacef orher.Iheldheranddeci dednot
toconcer nmysel fwiththehospital'
smi stakeand
askedmywi f
ehowshei nj
uredherlegandshet ol
d
me.Shel ookedatmewi t
houtsayingawor dandI
gotl osti
nherr ed,swolleneyes.Mypoorwi fehas
beent hroughal ot.Thewor ryaboutlosingmeand
raisingfourkidsalonemusthavet akeni t
st ollon
her .MmaandLungicamei nandt heylookedhappy
toseeme.
Lungi:“Youtwomusthavehadadamnrough
anniversar
yifyouendedupher
ewit
haheart
att
ack,”helaughed.

Mma:“Hey!Thi
sisnott
het
ime,
”weact
ual
ly
l
aughedi
toff.

Itol
dt hem whatt hedoct orsai dandt heyl ooked
confusedt oo.Mmat ookLakhi wetot hecor nerof
theroom tot al
kal one.Itseemedt heywer ehavi nga
seri
ousdi scussion.Mmacamebacksayi ngI
shouldgot odi f
ferentdoct orsjusttoconf irm.Ther e
wasnoneedf orthat.I'm notHI Vnegative.Iwi llnot
evenent ert
ainthei deaoft hatpossi bi
li
tyaf t
erI '
ve
spentyear scomi ngt otermswi t
hmyst atus.I '
m
j
ustwai ti
ngf orthesedoct or
st otellmet heymadea
mistake,apologize, t
ellmewhenIcangohomet o
myf ami l
ysoIcangoonwi t
hl i
fe.Isaidasi lent
prayerofthanks.It hankedGodf ornotallowi ng
Lalatobeayoungwi dow.It hankedHi mf ornot
all
owingmyboyst oknowmebypi ctur
esonl y.I
thankedHi mforspari
ngmyl if
ebecauseIknowmy
grandmot herwouldhavehadahear tatt
ackofher
ownanddi edtoohadIdied.It
hankHi m because
thereissomuchIst il
lneedtodo.Thedevi lwould
notbet hedevili
fhedidnotattempttobreakhear t
s
evenonhappyoccasi onsbutIdoser vealivingGod.
[
03/
28,
17:
33]Lynne:SI
XTYONE

MLUNGI
SI

I'
vebeeni nMaputosi nceIwenti ntohidingrunni
ng
from t
heconsequencesofacr imeIdi dnotcommit.
IhatedthatZingi
sahadmebyt heballswithher
threat
sandIagr eethet houghtofkilli
ngher
crossedmymi ndaf ewt i
mesbutIdi dnotdoit.
Someonehasmessedupwi thmyl ifeandsof arI
havenotbeenabl etof i
ndoutwho.Idon' tknow
howIf eelaboutZola'sil
lmanner eddaught er
.When
Itoldhertohavetheabor ti
on,itwasnotbecauseI
didnotwantanyki dsbutIwasnotr eadybackthen.
Allthemoneywasgoi ngt omyst udiesandt ohave
hadababywoul dhavemeantIshoul ddr opoutof
univer sity.Myf at herwasast r
ictman.Hadhe
knownt hatIi mpr egnat edagi rlhewoul dnothave
paidf ormyf eesandwoul dhavet oldmet ogowor k
l
iket hemanIam si nceIcanf atherchildren.Had
wehadt hebabywewoul dnothavehadt hemoney
wehave.Iwoul dmostpr obabl yhavebeenar etired,
sickmi nerl ikeLi yema' sfatheri nlaw.Mychi ldren
woul dnothavegonet ot hebestschool sandwe
woul dhavel ivedpoor ly.Idonotr egretchoosi ng
myf ut ureovert hechi ldbecausewhenIwasr eady
tohavechi ldr enIwasabl etopr ovidefort hem.I
onlyhadonedaught erandt hatwasmybabygi rl
Lulonke.Il ovemysonsbutt heyknewLul owas
extraspeci alandt hatiswhyIhavenotbeenabl eto
forgiveLi yemaf orherdeat h.Ipr etendtobeokay
withi tbutdeepdownIst il
lhat emysonf orhavi ng
mybabygi rlki l
led.Hadhej ustwokenmeup, I
woul dhavewentt opickLul oupmysel f
.Sur eI
woul dhavegr oundedherf orsneaki ngoutbutmy
angerwoul dnothavel asted.Herl ossi sonet hatI
wasneverabl et ogetover .Iwasmor eat tent
iveand
kinderwhenshewasar ound.Itissafetosayshe
hadmewr appedar oundherl i
ttl
ef i
nger.This
daughterwillneverreplacemyLul oandher
swearingatmepr ovedt heyaretwodi f
ferentpeopl
e.
Iwouldl i
ketomeethert houghandt eachher
manner s.Nonofmychi l
drenhascal l
edmeshi t.I
knowt heboyshavet houghtitbuttheyneverdar ed
tosayitbecauset heyknowel dersaretobe
respected.I
tisclearthischil
dwasnotr aisedbyme.

Amont hagoIgotadmi t
tedtoacar ecent erf
orHIV
positi
veandTBpat i
ent
s.Ifellt
erri
blyillandaf r
iend
whohasbeenhel pingmeset tl
ebroughtmeher e.It
hasbeenamont hofhell.Oneofmysi dewomen
didtel
lmet ogotestyearsagoaf t
ershet ested
positi
vebutIwast oproudtoadmi tthatI,Mlungi
Elephantcoul dhavesuchadeceasei nmybl ood.I
brushedi toffanditwasonlywhenIst art
edlosing
weightandcoughi ngbl
oodt hatIwasf orcedto
seekhel p.Ji
mmy, myfri
endcamewi thacel l
phone.
Ihavebeent oosickandashamedt ocallZolatotel
l
herI'
mi naheal thcarefacil
it
yt hatisnoteveni ntop
condi
ti
on.Idi
aledhernumberandi
tragf
oral
ong
ti
me.

Zola:“
Hell
o?,
”sheanswered.Ikeptqui
et.“
Is
anyonether
e?”,
sheasked.“LookIhavebetter
thi
ngstodowithmytim..
.,
”

Mlu:“
Zozo,
it'
sme,
”If
inal
lysai
dandcoughedf
ora
f
ewseconds.

Zol
a:“Mlungi
si,wi
llyouevershowconcernforyour
chi
ldr
en?Lulonkewasnotyouronlychil
d,dammi t
,”
sheshouted.

Ml
u:“
Nozol
il
e,pl
easedonotst
art
,”

Zol
a:“Donott
ellmet
hat
.Mahl
ubandi
lehasbeen
goi
..
.,
”
Mlu:“
Whoi
sthat
?”Iaskedandshel
aughedout
l
oud.

Zola:“
Hadyounotst oppedcal
li
ng,
youwoul
dhave
knowni t
'syourf
ir
stborn,
”

Ml
u:“
Oh,
”Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Zola:“Notevenasi nglephonecalltohearhowI '

m
recoveri
ng, Mlungi
.AllbecauseHlubisaidthi
ngs
outofanger ?Youhavenotcal ledtoaskhowour
childisdoingsinceshehadsuchapai nful
upbr i
nging.NotsolongagoLi yemahadahear t
attackandhi sheartstopped,
”shesaidandmy
heartstartedtobeatfast.

Mlu:“
IsLi
yemadead?”Iasked.Idon'
twantoneof
myheirst
odieespeci
all
ynotthemostresponsi
ble
one.
Zol
a:“Wouldn’
tyouj
ustl
ovet
hatbecauseitwoul
d
beonelesspersont
ocar
eabout
,”shesaid
sar
casti
cal
ly.

Mlu:“
Idon'
tcar
ewhatyouthinkofmebutIdonot
wantanyofmychi
ldr
entodie.Howishe?Howbad
i
sit?,
”
Zola:“WellLiyemacheat
eddeathtobewithhis
family,
youont heot
herhandcoul
dnotcareless
aboutyour s.Wehavebeendoingwell
withoutyou,
”
herwor dscutdeep.I'
mthefamil
yanchor.How
couldli
fegoonwi t
houtme?

Ml
u:“
Doyouhaveanot
herman?
”

Zol
a:“Goodbye,
Mlungi
si,
”shewant
edt
oendt
he
cal
lbutIpl
eadedwit
hhernotto.

Mlu:“I
'm sor
ry.Ij
ustmi
ssyousomuch.I
'
m si
ck,
Zola,
”Isaid.
Zol
a:“Whatiswrongwithyou?Ihopeyouar enot
makingabigdealoutofamildfl
u,”sheshouted.

Mlu:“Isshitti
ngyourownpant sami l
df l
u,
Nozolil
e?!”Ishoutedwi t
houtthinki
ng.Therewas
si
lenceont heotherl i
ne.“I
'
m weakandI '
m asthi
n
asat oothpickri
ghtnow.It est
edpositiveforHI
V,”I
addedbutshest i
llkeptqui
et.

Zola:“Wellthendi e,”shesaidwithsuchhatr
edi n
hervoice.“Ihavest art
edtreatmentf
orsomething
thatyougavemej ustbecauseyoudonotknow
whatadamncondom i sandhowi ti
sused.Doyou
knowt heheadachesandt henauseousIgetassi de
effect
s?Iwi llhavet otakethesedamnpi l
lsf
orthe
restofmyl ifebecauseofyouandyouwantmet o
crybecauset hevirusyougavemei seati
ngatyour
body?Whatdi dyouexpectf rom me,Mlungi
si?
”she
asked.
Mlu:“
Ijustwantyoutoknowt hatI
'
m sorr
yandI
r
egreteveryt
hingt
hathappened,Nozol
il
e,
”Isaidin
awhisper.Idi
dnotwanteit
herofustogetsick.

Zola:“Yoursorr
ywi l
lnotmakemeHI Vf
ree.Idon'
t
careifyougetthinnerbydayandendup
disappeari
ng,youdidittoyour
sel
f,
”

Mlu:“Iknowt
hatbutIwantt
omaket hi
ngsri
ght
.I
wanttocomehome, i
fIdi
e,Iwanti
ttobeinmy
house,”

Zola:“
Thengot oyourhouse.It
sstandi
ngempty
anywaybecausemychi ldandIareatmysist
er'
s
si
nceitsoundedlikeyoudidnotwantheri
nyour
housewhenIt ol
dyouI '
mt aki
ngherhome.Goto
yourhouse,I
'
m notstandinginyourway,
”

Mlu:“
Whathappenedtothatl
ovi
ngwifewhowoul
d
doanythi
ngt
osupportherhusband?
,”
Zola:“Sher emember edwhoshewasbef oreshe
mar ri
edherweak, gooffornot hinghusband.Iused
tobesoi ndependentandwasabl etothinkf or
mysel funt i
lImetyouandyoumademef eellikeI'm
nothingcompar edtoyoui nt el
lectuall
y,“shesai d.I
couldnotbel i
evemywi f
ewasspeaki ngt omel i
ke
that.Itsoundedl i
keshei ssayi ngt hatImar rieda
copyofher ,nothertruesel fandt hatanot her
womanhi desunderneatht hesof tspoken, kind
suppor ti
vewomanImar ried.Di dZolapr etendt obe
someoneel sesoIwoul dmar r
yher ?Isuddenl yfelt
l
ikeIdi dnotknowher .Wel lherhi di
ngachi l
df rom
mef orovert hirt
yyear sprovest herear ethings
aboutherIknownot hingabout .

Mlu:“
Pleasehel
pmet or
etur
nhome.Idon'
tthi
nk
t
hatIwillbeabl
etol
ivel
ongert
hanafewmonths,
”
Zol
a:“EvenifIwant
edtohel
p, howdoyouthi
nkI
woulddothat?Youareawantedman, Ml
ungi
si.I
'
m
notgoi
ngtor i
skgoi
ngtojai
lforyou,
”
Mlu:“
Ididnotki
llthatwoman,Zol
a!Dammityou
don'
tknowwhatt hatgir
lmademedot okeepthi
s
damnsecret,
”Ishouted.

Zola:“
Soyoumeantot
ellmet
hatyoudi
dgi
veint
o
herthr
eat
s?Whatdi
dyoudofort
hisgi
rl
,Ml
ungi
si?
”

Ml
u:“I
tdoesnotmat
ter
,shei
sdead.Justt
ryt
oget
mehel
p.I'
mrunni
ngoutofmoneyandsoonthey
mi
ghtevenki
ckmeouthere,
”Ipl
eaded.

Zol
a:“TellmeandIwil
lhel
p,”
.Ican'
ttel
lher
.She
wil
lneverfor
giveme.

Ml
u:“
Igavehermoney.
..
lot
sofi
t,
”Il
ied.

Zola:“
Bye,
I'
m nofoolyoucanjustl
iet
o.Thatgi
rl
’s
fat
herwaswayricherthanyou.Moneywasnot
somethi
ngsheneedednorwant
ed.Whatshe
wantedfr
om youwasLi
yema.Goli
etoadamn
fool
,
”sheshouted.

Mlu:“Wait
!OkayI'
llt
ellyouthetruth,
”Isaid.Shedi
d
notsayanythi
ngbutIcoul dhearherbreath.
“Promiset
hatyouwillhelpmeaf terIt
ellyouand
thatyouwil
lputyourselfi
nmyshoes, ”

Zola:“Ifyoutel
lmet het r
uthIwi llt
ry.Don'tdarel
ie
again.Iwi l
lendthi
scal lf
orr ealthi
st i
me, I
promi se,
”Iknewshemeanteachwor d.I
'veli
edto
hersomuchbutnotoncehasshecaughton.Who
i
st hisnewwomanandwhathasshedonet omy
wife?Iwantmynai veZolabacknott hisFBIagent
whoi sal soahumanl iedetector.IfIli
etohershe
willcutallcont
actwithmef oreverandIneedher
becauseIwantt ogohome.“ Mlungisi,Iwanttogo
seemysoni nhospit
aldonotwast emyt ime,t
alk
now, ”shedemanded.Whoi st hiswoman?
Mlu:“Idi
dsomethi
ngter
ri
blebutIhadnochoi
ce.I
wasnotthinki
ngst
rai
ghtbecauseoff
earand
desperat
ion,
”

Zol
a:“
Spar
emet
hepi
tyat
tempt
s,”

Mlu:“Isl eptwi thZingisaaf ewmont hsaf tershe

mar ri
edLi yemasomyaf fairwithherwasnol ie.
Thel i
ewasherHI Vst atusandshemademeapar t
ofit.WhenLi yemaf i
lledf ordivorceshecamet ome
toaskf ormyhel ptoconvi ncehi m nottobutshe
neversawmet hatdaybecauseshet urnedar ound
beforeshecamei n,atleastt hatwaswhatshesai d.
Daysl at ershecamet omeagai nwi t
hpi ct
uresof
mewi t
hot herwomeni ncompr omisingposi t
ions
andar ecor ding.Ont her ecordingwasa
conver sationoneofmysi dechi cksandIwer e
havingwher ethisgirltoldmeshet estedposi tive
forHIVandIshoul dgot oo.Zi ngisar ecordedt hat
asinsur ance.Shet hreatenedt osendyouandt he
presst hepi cturesofmeandt hewomenandt he
recor dingi fIdidnothel phergetLi yemaback.And
alsosai dshewi l
ltellyoual laboutussl eeping
toget her .Sheknewshehadnochancebecauseshe
pushedhi mt ofarsoshecameupwi thaplant otry
andmani pulatehi mi ntot akingherback.Atf irst
shedi dnotknowhowt odoi tthoughbutadayl ater
shet ol dmet hatshewi l
lsayt oLi yemashei sHI V
posi t
iveandt ellhimt ogot estt ooandsai dt hatwas
wher eIcomei n.YouknowLi yemal ovedBancr oft
sincehewasachi ld,andZi ngisaknewhewentt o
noot herdoct or.Shet ol dmet oconvi nceBancr oft
tof akeLi yema'sr esul ts.Bancr oftisfondofLi yema
soher efused.Zi ngi sasai dt hatweneededt oget
dirtonhi m.It houghtwewoul df i
ndnot hi
ngbutshe
mangedt ofindt hings.Iguessevent heinnocent
l
ooki nghaveskel etonsi nt heircloset.SoItookher
i
nf ormat iontohi m andhehadnochoi cebutt odo
asasked.Zi ngisat henwentt olietoLiyemaabout
herst at usaf terBancr oftagr eed.Liyemawentt o
Bancr oftandyeahyouknowwhathappened.
Bancr ofthasbeencont i
nuingt odoi tbecausehe
knewt heconsequencesoft hetruthcomi ngout
afterheal r
eadyhel peduswoul dbebad.Hewas
goingt olosehislicenseandgot oprison.Ikept
si
lentbecauseIf earedt hatyouwoul df i
ndoutt hatI
notonl ysleptwithZi ngisabutwi t
hsever alother
women.Ial sodidnotwantLi yematohat eme.
Zingisacamebackhopi ngtof i
xthi
ngswi t
hLi yema.
Shet houghthi
sangerwoul dhavepassedandt hat
hewoul dwantherbacksi ncetheywer ebot h
supposedl yHIVposi ti
ve.Shecameupwi ththis
planbecauseshet houghtLi yemawoul dst aywi th
hersi ncetheywer ebot hsupposedl yHI Vposit i
ve
buthepr ovedherwr ong.Whenhet oldusabouthi s
status, Iwasnotangr yathimf orbeingHI Vposi ti
ve,
Iwasangr yatmysel ff orbeingapar tofthepeopl e
whomadehi m believehei swhenheneverwas, ”I
conf essedslowly.

Zol
a:“
Soyouhaveknownf orsomanyyear
sthat
youmighthaveHI
Vyetyouconti
nuedt
osleepwit
h
me?”
Mlu:“Idi
dnotbel
ievethati
twast r
ue,Zol
aandhow
wouldIhaveexpl
ainedthesuddenusageofa
condom wit
houtr
iskingyoufi
ndingout?Ihave
nevertestedbeforebecauseIwasi ndenial
.It
's
onlynowt hatIgotinf
ectedwi t
hTBt hatIal
sogot
myHI Vr esul
ts.Idi
dnotbelieveitwasgoingto
happent osomeoneasst rongasme, ”

Zola:*shescr eamedsol oudIhadt otaket hephone

ofmyear *.“Mychi l
dal mostdi edbecauseyou
madehi mt akepi ll
st hathewasnotsupposet o.
Youcanhur tme, Ml ungisibutyoudamnwel lknow
betterthanhur ti
ngmybabi es.YouknowIwoul d
movemount ainsf ormybabi es.Younear lykilled
mysonbecauseyouwer eaf raidI'
df i
ndoutwhata
rot
tenpi gyouar e?Fouryear soft akingthingst hat
werenotmeantf orhisbody, Mlungisi.Wespent
moneysendi nghi sbloodt oot herlabsoutoft own
becausehewoul dnotbel i
evet hathei snegat ive
becauseofyou.Evennowhedoesnotbel ieve.Do
your eali
zet hepsychol ogicaleffectthiscoul dhave
onmychi ld?I '
m HI Vposi t
ive,Igotasecond, third
andf orthopi nionandIknowyoui nfectedme
becauseyouwer etheonl ymanIsl eptwi th.Idon' t
careaboutmysel fbutyoumademychi l
dbel i
evehe
i
ssi
ckf
oryear
s?

Mlu:“
AndIr
egr eti
twi
thever
ythi
ngi
nme,
”Isai
d
andmeanti
t.Idoregr
eti
t.

Zola:“
Howmanyot herwomanwereyouwi
th?
,”she
asked.Icoul
dheart
hepaini
nhervoi
ce.

Ml
u:“
Sever
al.Il
ostcount
,”

Zola:“SoIi nsul
tedZingisasayingshei nfectedyou
butitturnsoutyouar eadogt hatlai
dever ywhere
andpi ckedupf l
eezef r
om yourf emaledogsand
broughtittome?Hhoooo, Ml
ungi siEl
ephant ,you'd
beluckyi fthosedeceaseskillyoubef oreIgett o
you,”shet hreat
ned.Iknewi t
'sjustangert al
king.

Iwasabouttopl
eadbuttheli
newentdead.Ihat
e
Zi
ngisa.Iwi
shIneveral
lowedheri
nhisli
febutt
hey
seemedcompat ibleandt heygr ewupt ogether .
Toget herourf ami li
eswoul dhavebui ltempi res.I
knowIdon' thaveaf amilyafterIconf essed.I
i
nf ectedmywi feandmademysonbel i
evet hathe
i
si nfect ed.Ididsl eepwi thmyson' sexwi f
ebutI
usedcondomsbecauset hel astthingIwant edwas
toimpr egnat emydaught erinl aw.WhenIsl eptwi th
alloft hosewomen, deceasewasnotonmymi nd,
onlypl easur e.NowI '
ml yinginasemidi rt
ycar e
placenotknowi ngifIwi llli
ve.I'm evenwear ingan
adul tdiaperbef oreIdon' tmakei ttot hetoil
eti n
ti
me.I t'
sdegr adi ngt hatayounggi r
lhast ochange
mydi aperasi fI'm achi l
d.Iwasopi ngt ogohome
sot hatZol acoul ddosuchsi ncesheknowsmy
body.Iwi shIneveral l
owedt hatgirlinmyson' slif
e
andmybed.Tr uthisIwasnotf ai
thfultoZol asi nce
bef orewegotmar riedr i
ghtthroughoutour
mar r
iage.Shef oundoutaboutmyi nf i
deli
tyonce
butnott heot her s.Iwi shIwasf ait
hf ultomywi fe
andnonoft hiswoul dhavehappened.NowIhave
HIVandTBatt hesamet imeandmybodyi sf ail
ing
me.IknowZol awi l
ltellLiyema.Ij ustneedt ocal l
him andaskf orhi sf orgi
venessbef or eIdie.Ihave
af eeli
ngt hatIwi l
ldiealone,i
naf oreignlandand
bebur iedwi t
hst rangers.Mymot herwi l
lnoteven
gett olaymet orestandIknowmydeat hmi ghtkil
l
her .Thepast orwhocomest opr ayforuscameand
Itoldhi m Iconfessedal lmysinstomywi fe.He
saidi t
'sagoodt hingsbecausemysoulwi llfind
peace.Hespokeasi fI'
m deadalready.Hepr ayed
forusasusualandIf orthefi
rstti
mecl osedmy
eyeswhi l
ehepr ayed.Idonotwantt odieal one.I
donotwantt odieper i
od.Ihaveal waysf eared
deat handnowi tseemst obeknocki ngwant ingfor
met oinvi
teitinbutIam notr eady. ,

LI
YEMA

Ilai
donmyhospi talbedandI 'mtir
edofthispl ace.
I'
vebeenher eforaweekandIcan' ttakeitanymor e.
Theykepttell
ingmet hatthetestst
il
lcomesback
negati
veandar ewi t
hhol di
ngmyt reatment.I
'm
feel
ingmyselfgetsi cktooandI '
m sureit
'sbecause
I'
m notget
tingtreatment .Lakhi
wehasbeenvi siti
ng
eachandever ysingleday.It hinkshef earsmy
heartwi l
lstopagai n.Thedooropenedandshe
appear edandmydaysuddenl ygotbet ter.Sheheld
thedooropenandmyf ourlitt
lesoldi erswal kedin
l
ooki ngconf used.IcanmovenowsoIsatupand
whent heyr eali
zedi t
'smeont hebedt heywer eall
smi l
esandr antothesi deoft hebed.Lal aoutthem
allont hebedandIgott ackleddown, I
'vemi ssed
them somuch.Soont heat t
ent i
onwasont he
machi nesandi twasami ssiont opr eventt hem
from touchi ngthem.Whenwest opt heonet he
othersdosomet hingnaught y.Ther ei sneverpeace
wi t
ht hem butwhenI '
m notwi ththem t hechaosi s
whatImi ssmost .Lala'slegi salsobet ter
.Soont he
sibli
ngscameandi twasj ustchaosbutf unchaos.
Wewer elaughingandt heyal readyhavehear t
attackj okes.

Hl
ubi:“
Youoweusf orl
ooki
ngaf
teryourwi
fe,
”she
j
okedandwelaughed.
Lakhi
we:“
Theywerenotlooki
ngaft
erme,baby.
Whenwear ehomeIl
it
erall
yhavesi
xchi
ldren,
”they
l
aughed.

Li
yema:“I'
llbeoutofheresoon,mybaby.Theywi l
l
gotothei
rmot her'
splace,
”Iki
ssedher.Bukhosi
hel
dourfacest opartus.Hethenhel
dont ohis
motheral
lterri
tor
ial
.Theydothatsometimes.“Thi
s
i
smywi fe.Getoldandgetyourown,”wel aughed.

Lungi:“
Butonaseri
ousnot
ethough,
youscar
edus.
Don'tdothat
,man,
”hesai
dinashakyvoi
ce.

Li
yema:“I
'm st
il
lher
esol
etusnott
hinkabout
anyt
hingel
se,”

Hlubi
:“Soaboutyourst
atus?St
il
ldon'
tbel
ievet
he
peopl
ehere?”
Liyema:“
No,andmydoct
orgavet
hem myf i
leand
explai
nedtot
hem t
her
ewasnomistake.Baby,
I'
m
di
schar
gingmysel
ftoday,
”shel
ookedatme.

Lakhi
we:“
No,
Liyemapl
easest
opbei
ngst
ubbor
n,
baby,
”

Li
yema:“Thesepeopl
edon'
tknowwhatt
heyar
e
doi
ng?,
”

Lungi
:“ButBhutt
hinkabouti
t,t
hisi
sateam of
peopl
ewhosayt hesamet hi
ngandyousti
llbel
ieve
oneguy?”
Liyema:“ Wellateam ofpeoplecanwokt ogethert
o
fakefilesandr esult
sto.Il
earnedthatfrom the
surrogacyexper ience,
”Iblur
tedoutanddi dnot
event hinkofhowmywi f
ewi l
lfeel
.Ilookedather
andshewasl ookingdown.“Idid..
.,
”

Lakhiwe:“I
t'
sokay,”shesai
dsof
tl
yandf
akeda
smile.I
t'
snot,Iknowher.
Lungi:“
Buttheysenti
ttoindependentl
abs,
”hesai
d
butmyat t
enti
onwasst i
llonmywi fewhowas
pret
endingtobeokayafterwhatIsaid.

Mma:“Theyar
eright
,Ndoda.YoudonothaveHI
V,”
shewal
kedinandclosedt
hedoorbehi
ndher.

Li
yema:“
Mma,
notagai
n,”

Mma:“ Ij
ustspoketoyourfatherandhesaidaf ew
thi
ngs.Pl easel
ist
enwi t
houtinter
rupti
ngme
becauset hiswi
llnotbeeasyt osay,
”Hlubigotout
toysfrom herbagandgavei ttotheboystokeep
them busy.Shehast akenherauntr ol
eseri
ously.
Mmasatdown.

Shehel
dmyhandandIknewsomet hingi
swr ong.
Coul
dmyf atherwantadivor
cebecausehemet
someoneelse?Iwouldnotbesur
prisedatal
l.She
tookadeepbr eathbef oret
alking.Shet ol
duswhat
Tat ol
dher .Wei ndeeddi dnotinter r
uptherbecause
wewer eal lspeechl ess.Howcanaf atherbeso
crueltohisson?Howcoul dahusbandbesocr uel
tohiswi f
e?Tot hinkt hatIr
espect edthemanonce
uponat i
me.Iwant edt obejustl ikehim butI'
m glad
I'
m notmadeoft hesamemat erialhei s.Andto
havethener vetoaskmymot hert omakeapl ant o
bringhim homeaf t
erhemadehersi ck.Ihear
dwhat
shesai dregardingmebutIdi dnotcar eabout
myselfatf ir
st.Iaskedherhowshei s.

Mma:“ I
'm okay.Istar
tedtreat
mentaft
erIgot
di
schargedf r
om hospital
.Itst
il
lmakesmesick
but
..
.but,
”shecoul dnotfi
nishbecauseshecr
ied.

Weal lcomf ortedher,

eventheboysgaveherahug.
Ihatedt hattheyhavetobear oundal
lthesesad
emot i
ons.Lungisai dheneededamomentandwi l
l
taketheki dswi t
hhimf orai
r.Iwasgr
atefult
ohim
forthat.Iknewhewoul dnotstayl
ong.Hehasthis
car
efr
eeper
sonal
it
ybuthei
sthemostsensi
ti
ve.

Liyema:“Mma, i
fthereisanyonewhoknowswhat
i
t '
sli
ketoacceptyourst atusisme, especial
lywhen
yougoti tfrom someoneyoul ovewhowas
unfait
hful.Itdoesnotf eelli
keitnowbutIpr omiseit
getsbetter.Thesi deeffectswil
lpassIpr omise.I
justwishyout ol
dmewhenyouf oundoutandI
wouldhavehel pedyoudealwi t
ht hi
ngs.Wewi llbe
okay,youwi l
lsee,”Iheldherhand.

Mma:“ Iknow,Ndoda.Ijusthat
eyourfatherri
ght
now.Iwanttohear thi
m sobad.ThethingsI'
m
pl
otti
nginmymi ndwouldmaket hedevilhi
deout
offear
,”shesaidwithanger.

Hlubi:“
Ihatedhimfr
om wordgo,goodfornot
hing
pieceofsickshi
t,
”weallj
ustl
ookedather.When
youlookatheronewouldneversaysheswearsbut
Hlubiswearsli
kenoother
.
Li
yema:“ Heisnotwor t
hyourt ime, Mma.Wear eall
here,soletusbuil
dthisfamily.Iactuallythi
nkwe
havebeenhappi erwit
houthim.Yes, wehavehad
bad,baddaysbutIi maginetheni ghtmar eswould
havebeenwor sehadhebeenher e.Hlubiwould
mostpr obablywantnothi
ngt odowi t
hus.So
wit
houthi m wemakepr ogressandIwi llnotf
aili
n
l
ookingaf t
eryouall,
”Il
ookedatal lofthem.

Hlubi:“
Iknowwedon' tsaythi
sbutsof aryouhave
beenagr eatf
ami l
yleader.Thankyou,Lee,”she
smiled.“Ihavenevermetmenaski ndasyouand
Lunileandt hefactthatyouaremybr othersmakeit
al
lsomuchsweet er.Thankyouforchangi ngmy
vi
ewonmen, ”shebr ushedmyar m.

Mma:“Letusl eaveyouandKhiwe.I
'm sur
eyout wo
wanttot
alkaboutt hewhatIt
oldyou.Letusgohelp
Lungi
,Mahlubandile,
”shest
ood.“Il
oveyou,”she
ki
ssedmyf orehead.
Li
yema:“Il
oveyoutoo,”Ismi l
ed.Theywalkedout
andcl
osedthedoorbehindt hem.Ilookedatme
wif
ewhohasbeenqui etforwayt oolong.“
Please
j
oinmeont hebed,
”shel ookedatme.

Lakhi
we:“Wear ei
nahospi tal
,baby.Nextt
hingyou
haveanotherhear
tattackduetotheexcit
ement,
”
shesaidwhilel
ookingatthedoorandIlaughed.

Li
yema:“Ij
ustwantt
ohol
dyou.Whatdi
dyout
hink
Imean?”

Lakhi
we:“
Not
hing,
“shesai
dandgotont
hebed.

Li
yema:“Getyourmi ndoutofthegut
ter,
Mrs
El
ephant,
”shejustlookedatme.“I
'm sor
ryabout
whatIsai
dearli
er,okay.Ishoul
dnothavesaidit
,”I
ki
ssedher.
Lakhi
we:“Apologyaccepted.Nowcanwet al
kabout
theel
ephantintheroom,”Ilaughedbecauseit
soundweirdsincemysur namei sEl
ephant

Liyema:“I
'mtheelephanti
nt heroom,”Isaid.“
But
onaser i
ousnote,Idon'
tknowhowI '
mf eel
ing
aboutthi
sthingaboutmyst atus.Howar eyou
feeli
ngaboutit
?”
Lakhiwe:“Ijustdon'
tli
kethatyourfat
herpl ayed
wit
hyourl if
el i
kethi
s.Whathedi di
st hereason
whyyouar eheretoday.Youcouldhavedi ed,baby.
Ihatethathei sourchil
drengrandf
ather.Suchevil.

Li
yema:“
Wewi
llt
akei
tonedayatat
ime,
”

Lakhiwe:“
IknewaboutMma' sstatusbytheway.
I'
m sorr
yfornott
ell
ingyou,
”Ikissedher.
Liyema:“I
t'
sokay.Noonehasar i
ghttodisclose
anotherperson'
sstatus.NowIjustneedt oletthe
l
awdealwi thDrBancr oft
.Ican'
tbeli
eveheagr eed
todoit.Wow, I'
m notHIVpositi
ve.I
t'
sstrange,”I
saidsoft
ly.

Lakhi
we:“Sowewon'thavet
ousepr
otect
ion
anymore?
,”shesmi
led.

Li
yema:“
Yeah,
”Ismi
ledbackbuti
twasaf
orced
smil
e.

Idon'tknowaboutt hat.Ican'tpictur
emysel fhavi
ng
sexwi thherwi thoutacondom.NotbecauseIdon' t
wantt obuti nmymi ndI'm sti
llHIVpositi
vesoI '
l
l
sti
llworryabouti nfecti
nghert houghIhear dI'
m
negative.I
'vei maginedhowi twoul dfeeltobewi t
h
Lalawi t
houtpr otecti
onf orsolong.I'
veevenhada
dream abouti tonceort wice.Ishouldbeexci t
ed
that'
mt ol
dt hatIcanbutI 'm mor eafr
aidthan
excit
ed.Af raidtheymi ghtsayi ti
sanApr ilf
ool'
s
j
oket houghit'
snotevenApr i
l.ThatTawi l
lcalland
say“ ohIwasj ustmessingupyourl ivesmor ethe
storyItoldyourmot herwasnott r ue”afterI'
vebeen
onewi thmywi fewithoutacondom onl ytohear
thatsheissickbecauseofme.Iwi llconti
nue
havingsexwi thLalawi t
hacondom.I tmight
disappointherbutIdon'tbeli
evet hi s.Ihaveapi g
foraf at
herwhodoesnotcar eaboutus.Iwi llmake
suremyboysknowt hatIwoul ddoanyt hingf or
them.Iwi l
lhavetobeMma' sbi ggestsuppor t
becausenooneunder st
andmor et hanmewhati ti
s
l
iketocomet otermswi thyourst atusbutshewi ll
beokay.
[
03/
28,
17:
33]Lynne:SI
XTYTWO

LI
YEMA

I'
vebeenbackf r
om hospi t
alforawhilenow.Ithi
nk
I'
mr ecover
ingquickernowwhi leathomet han
whenIwasathospi t
al.Perhapsit
'sbecauseI'
m
surr
oundedbymyl ovedones.I'm abl
etodosome
thingsbutnotever yt
hi ngunt i
lI'ver ecover ed.I'
m
takingaweekort woof ffrom wor kwhi chwas
doct or'
sor ders.For t
unat elyI'
vegotacompet ent
team whoknowwhatt heyar edoi ng.Theyhave
alsobeencomi ngt ot hehousef orbr ainstorming
andmeet ings.Iappr eci at ethem al lsomuch.The
boysont heot herhanddon' tunder standt hatdaddy
i
sr ecover i
ng.I tseemst heirroughnesshavegone
upanot chsi nceI'vebeendi schar ged.I 'm once
agai nforcedt oleavemostt hingst oLakhi webutI
don' twantt oseem l i
keausel esshusbandsoIhel p
herwi ththel it
tlechor esar oundt hehouse.Wehave
nothadsexsi nceI '
vecomehomef orrecovery
reasons.Imi sshersomuchbutshei sf ol
lowing
doct or'
sor ders.Whensheandt heboyshavel ef
tto
got odaycar eanduni ver sit
yI '
ml efttosi tathome
anddonot hingwhi chwor ksonmyner vebutIwant
tor ecoversoonsoI '
lldoasI '
mt oldf ornow.Lucki l
y
i
t'sSat urdayt odayandwedeci dedt ogoonapi cni
c.
Icoul dhearLal aloseherpat ienceupst air
swhi l
e
gettingtheboysr eady.Iwaspacki ngabasketbut
wal kedupt ocheck.If oundf ourwhi t
eboys
becauset heysomehowgotahol doft hei r
moist
urizer
.Ihel
pedmywi f
etolett
hem knowt
hat
whattheydidiswrongbutwebothendedup
l
aughingatour"ghost
s".

Lakhiwe:"Il
eftt
hem f
oraminut
e,babyandcame
backtot hi
s,
"shepoi
ntedatt
heboyswhower enot
bothered.

Li
yema:"
Howdidtheygett
othisst
agesoqui
ckl
y?
Notsol
ongagotheycoul
dn'
tevenwal
k,"

Lakhi
we:"Pleaset
aketwoandI
'
lldosot
oot
oget
them cl
eanedupquickl
y,
"

Weeachcl eanedtwoandevent hentheymadei t

hardf orustocleanthem.Myphoner angandi twas
closert oLal
asoIaskedhert oanswerit
.Iwas
ti
cklingmyboyswhi l
eIwipedtheskinmoi st
uri
zer
off.Ilovedhowt heyfl
ashedthoseti
nyteethwhen
theyl aughed.Il
ookedatLakhiwewhosef aci
al
expr
essi
onchangedwhichmademewonderwho
wasontheothersi
deofthel
i
ne.Shewal
kedcl
oser
tomeandgavememyphone.

Lakhi
we:"
It
'syourf
ather,baby"shesai
dsoftl
y.I
tookt
hephonefrom herhandbutdidnotputiton
myear."
Hesayshei sdying,
"sheadded.

Li
yema:"Thanks,
baby,"shenoddedandgaveher
att
enti
ontotheboys.Iplacedt
hephoneagai
nstmy
ear."
Whatdoyouwant ?,
"Iaskedthemanwhohas
donenothi
ngbutruinmyl if
esi
nceIwasachil
d.

Ta:"Thankyoufortaki
ngmycal l
,son,
"hesaid.I
'
ve
neverheardmyf at
hersaythankyou."Li
yema,are
youstil
lther
e?"heaskedsoftl
y.Hedidsoundweak.

Liyema:"
Idon'
thaveanyt
hingt
osayt
oyousoI
'
m
l
isteni
ng,
"
Ta:"Thankyouforbei
ngwill
ingt
oli
stentome.I
knowyourmot hert
oldyouaboutwhatIandZi
ngi
sa
did.Ij
ustwanttosayI'
m sor
ry,
"

Liyema:" Wer eyougoi ngt oapol ogizehadyounot

l
aidonyourdeat hbed, Ta?"If eltal umponmy
throatbutIwasnotgoi ngt ocr y.Hedi dn'tanswer .
"I'
l
lanswerf oryousi nceyoucan' tspeakal lofa
sudden.Youwer enotgoi ngt oapol ogizehadyou
stil
lbeent hegr eatElephanti nhisf ancyof fi
ceand
bighouse.Af teryouraf f
airwi thZi ngisacameout
youdi dn'tsaysor ry,youinst eadcal l
edmeweak
andsai dIshoul dgetoveri tbecausei thappened.
Butnowt hatyoudon' tfeelpower fulanymor eyou
areabl etoknowwhatbei nghumbl eis.Sosor r
yi fI
don'tbelievethatyou' resorr y.Foral lIknowyouar e
pretendingt obesi ckandweakj ustsowecoul d
bringyouhomeandhaveyoumani pulatethelawby
actingtermi nall
yill
,"Ishout edbutLakhi wel ooked
atme.I t'
st hat"calm downbef oreyouhaveanot her
hear tatt
ack"look.It ookadeepbr eathandcal med
mysel fdown.
Ta:"
Andyouhaveal ltherightt
obeangr yandnot
tr
ustme.Son,Ijustdon'twanttodiewhil
etherei
s
badbloodbet
weenusbecausei tmightbehardon
youtodealwi
tht hat
.I'
m notsayingfor
givemenow,
butj
ustknowI'm sorr
y,"hesaidbetweensnif
fs.I
s
hecryi
ng?

Liyema:"Di
dyoueverl oveus,Ta?ImeanIdon't
recal
lyoutell
ingusthatyoudoandyouracti
ons
provedthatyoudon'
t,"Iwipedmytear
soffquickl
y
beforemyf amil
ycouldsee.

Ta:"Whatfatherdoesn'tlovehiskids?OfcourseI
l
oveyou.Ij ustneversaiditbecausemyf at
her
neversai
di ttome.Hewasst rictandmenwer enot
supposetoshowweaknessi nhisview.Hedidn't
showaf f
ectionandvulner abl
it
ysoIgr ewup
thi
nkingit
'showamanshoul dbehave,"
Liyema:"
Igrewupwi t
hyouasaf at
her,
yetI
'm not
l
ikeyousost opgi
vingmeexcuses.Al
sotel
lme
whatexactl
yyou'r
esorryf
or?
"

Ta:"Forpr essuri
ngandmani pul
ati
ngyoui nto
mar r
yingZi ngi
sa.Forsleepingwithyourwi f
ethr
ee
mont hsaf t
eryousaidyourvows, f
orhelpingher
foolyouint obeli
evi
ngt hatyouaresick,formaking
yourmot hersick.I'
m sorryforeveryt
hing,"hesaid
whilecrying.Ilef
ttheroom becauset hekidswer e
makingt oomuchnoi se.

Liyema:"
Doyouknowwhatit'
sli
ketowakeupnext
toawomanyouknowingyou'renotmeantf
orjust
becauseyouwantt
opleaseyourfat
her
,Ta?"

Ta:"
No,
son,
"

Liyema:"
Doyouknowwhatittookmetocomet
o
termswit
hmystatus?Inear
lytur
nedi
ntoan
al
cohol
icbecauseofi
t,
"Ishout
ed.

Ta:"
Iwi
shIcoul
dtur
nthecl
ockar
ound,
"

Liyema:" Doyour eal

izethatIhavepani ckedaf ew
ti
mesbecauseIt houghtIf orgott ot akemy
treatmentont hesett imeonl yf ormywi fetor emind
meI 'm notont reatmentanymor e?Inear l
ymade
Lakhi weawi dowbecauseyoul ackmor al s,
principlesandval ues.Mmawentt ot hedoct orjust
yesterdaybecauset het r
eatmentgi vesher
mi graines.Idon' tevenknowwhyyoubot heredus
becausewewer ebusypat chingt heopenwounds.
Wehavebeenhappyandheal ingwi t houtyou.St ay
wer eyouar ebecauseyouar eadamnvi rusyour sel
f,
man.Ever yt
hi ngyout ouchrotsandIdon' twantyou
nearmychi ldren.Notoncehaveyoucal ledyour
daught ertogett oknowherbecauseyouar eupset
becauseshedi dn'tgetabor t
ed.That 'ssickandi t
'sa
sicknesst hisf ami l
ydoesnotneed.Iwi lllookaf t
er
thef ami l
y, meandLungihavebeendoi ngwel l
.I
don'
twishdeat
huponyoubutIsowishyou'
dleave
ustohealf
rom t
hewoundsyouhavecausedus,
"I
shout
ed.

Ta:"Br
ingmehomesoI 'ddieathomepl ease.I
don'
tdeserveyouallbutdon'tletmyspiri
twonder
becausethatiswhatwillhappenifIdi
eher e.Ican'
t
doanythi
ngf ormyself
,"

Liyema:"
Callyourbrot
her
sorletDudumasheget
youtoyourhome.Wecan' thel
pbecauseyouarea
fugit
ivej
ustspeakingt
oyourightnowisacri
me.
I'
m notwil
li
ngtoriskmyfamilyvisi
ti
ngmeinjai
l
.
Goodbye,"

Iendedthecal lbef
orehecoul dsaymor e.Ihate
thathehast heabil
ityofturninghear t
stostone.I
don'twantmyhear ttobecol d.If i
rstst
oodby
myselftocalm downbef orehel pingmywi fegetour
chil
drenready.Iwillfor
givehi m somedayjustnot
readyyet.Iwishhe'dgetwel lbutIdon'twanthimi n
ourlives.Wepackedt heblanketandheavypi cnic
basketi nt hecarbef orest r
appi ngthekidsi ntheir
seats.Lal adr ovetoawi nef arm.Webot hdon' t
drinkbuti t'smor et heki dfriendl ysett
ingwear e
after.Wear rivedandever ythingwasj ustbeaut iful.
Ther ewer eaf ewf ami li
esal readysowegotaspot
underani ceshadyt ree.Wegotoutt hef oodand
drinks.Lal amadesur eever yt hingishealthy.We
alsot ookaf ewpi ct ures.Itookt heboysf orawal k
afterwehadl unchandt heyl ovedi there.Theywer e
ablet owal kbar efootont hegr assandr unf ree.Lala
wasr eadingherr omancenoveli npeace, everything
wasj ustper fectunt ilIgotat tackedbyaduckbut
myboyshel pedmechasei tawayandi twentt oget
hisbackupt oo.Needl esstosaywer antoLakhi we
witht ail
sbet weenourl egsbutwedi dsowhi le
l
aughi ng.

Li
yema:"Hidebehind,Mama, "Isai
dwhilerunning
behi
ndthem.Theducksst oppedpursui
ngusl ong
agobutitwasf untowatchthem run.Theyallgot
onthei
rmot herandIdidtoobutnotwi t
hmyent i
re
wei
ght
.Shef
ellbackwar
dsandl
aughed.

Banel
e:"
Duck-
Duck,
"hepoi
ntedbehi
ndhi
m.

Bukhosi
:"Kwaak,Kwaak, Kwaak,
"hesai
dinatt
empt
toimi
tat
et heducks.Theyallst
oodandsai
ditwhi
le
fl
appi
ngtheirarms.Wel aughedsomuch.

Lakhi
we:"Thisisf
un.Thankyouf
orsuggest
ingi
t,
baby,
"shekissedme.

Liyema:"Wedeservesometi
meal oneawayfrom
theextendedf
amily.WeneedtoplanforDecember
.
Whatar ewegoingtodo?"Il
ookedather.

Lakhi
we:"
Ithoughtwe'
regoi
ngt
oyourgr
an'
s,
"

Li
yema:"
Yes,
butI
'
m nothavi
ngyousl
avear
ound
beingaMakot itheenti
rehol
iday.Iwasthinki
ngwe
spendaweekt here,
aweekatyourgr andparent
s
andt henthel
astweekgocheckoutt hegar den
route,
"Iheldher.

Lakhiwe:"
I'
dlovet
hatverymuch.It hinki
twould
makeMakhul uhappy.Wecani nvit
emyf atherover
too.Heisalr
eadytal
kingaboutloneli
ness,
"she
shookherheadandIlaughed.

Li
yema:"
Amani snotmeanttobealoneespeci
all
y
oneofhi
sgenerati
onwhost
il
lbel
ievescert
ainr
oles
i
nthehouseareforwomen,
"

Lakhiwe:"
I'
m gladyoudon'tthinkli
kethat.I
magine
eati
ngat11pm butyoucamehomeat6pm j ust
becauseyouwai t
edformet ocomecook, "weboth
l
aughed."Aren'
tyouoverdoingi twi
thrunning
aroundwiththefant
asti
cfour ?
"shel ookedatme
Liyema:"No,theydon'
tevenrunf
astyet
.Doyou
knowI'm savi
ngforthei
rjour
neyt
othemountai
n
alr
eady?"shelookedatme.

Lakhiwe:"
Whichi
swhat
,ei
ght
eenyear
sfr
om now?
"
shelaughed.

Liyema:"Umgidiisanexpensiveaf
fair
sandhaving
fourboysgoatt hesametimewi l
lbeaf i
nanci
al
burdenonusi fwedon'tplanfori
taheadoftime,
"I
kissedherneck,myfavourit
espot,oratl
eastoneof
them.

Lakhi
we:"Youknowbet terwhenitcomest ot hat
,
baby.Sodoasyout hinkisbest
,Itrustyou,"she
ki
ssedmyl i
ps.Wekeptacl oseeyeont heboys
whower epl
aying.IseethebestoffriendswhenI
l
ookatthem.

Soso:
"Nt
ombi
?"sai
dsomesl
enderguywhi
le
l
ooki
ngatLal
a.Shel
ookedathi
m andsmi
led.

Lakhiwe:""Hi,Soso.It'
sbeenawhi l
e,
"shesmi
led
andst ood.Hehadhi sarmsaroundmywi f
ebefore
sheevengotuppr operl
y.Dosomemennothave
anyr espectforothermen'swives?Ist
oodtostand
behindLal aandhebackup.

Lakhi
we:"Baby,thi
sisSonwabileandSosot hisi
s
myhusbandLi yemaElephant
,"sheintr
oducedus.I
wasabouttoaski fhemakesahabi tofhugging
peopl
e'swivesli
kethatbutdecidedagainsti
t.

Li
yema:"
Goodt
omeetyou,
"Ishookhi
shand.

Soso:"
Likewise,MrEl ephant.Soyouf i
nall
ygota
manstrongenought owai tonyouhuh? "helaughed
andLalajustsmiled."Sogoodseei ngyouagai n.
Areyouthissidepermanent l
ynow? "
Lakhi
we:"Yeah,
I'
m atUCTnow.Ir
elocat
edwhenI
gotmarr
ied,
"

Soso:"
Wherear
etheki
dsyouoncet
oldmeabout
?"
shepoi
ntedt
otheboys

Lakhi
we:"Righttheremessi
nguppeople'
sgrass
whichI'
m sureisnotall
owed.Letmegostopthem
befor
ewegetabi l
l.I
twasniceseei
ngyou,Soso,
"
shesmiled.

Soso: "
Let'
smeetup.I 'vegottorun.Her eismy
businesscard,pleasecallme.Itr i
edyourold
numberbuti tbelongst osomeoneel sesoIf i
gur
ed
youchangedi t.Seeyouar ound,"hehuggedher
again."Lookafterher,
man.You' reluckytohave
her,
"headdedbef orerushi
ngof f.Lakhi
wewentt o
stoptheboysf rom rui
ningthepeopl e'
sgrass.It
hen
remember edthattheguywast heoneIsawherat
Zim'sweddingwi th.Theonewhowashol dingal
l
herassetswhiledancing.Thesi xofuspl ayedunti
l
thel
itt
leonesf
ellasl
eep.Isatbehi
ndherwhi
leshe
satbetweenmylegseati
ngst r
awberr
ies.

Liyema:"Wil
lyoumeetupwi
thhi
m?"Iasked.She
turnedherheadtol
ookatme.

Lakhi
we:"
Nope,
"shesmi
led.

Liyema:"Goodbecausehest
il
lhastheboysf
or
you,"sherai
sedherbrowwhi
lelooki
ngatme.

Lakhi
we:"
Soyoudon'
ttr
ustme?
"

Liyema:"Itr
ustyoucompletelybuthi
m Idon't
,
baby,"sheturnedaroundtofacemeandki ssedme.
Itwasapassi onat
eonebutl ucki
lyot
herpeoplehad
l
ef t
."Let
'sgohome,"Isli
dmyhandunderherdr ess
andshemoaned.
Lakhi
we:"
Liyemat
hedoct
orsai
d..
.,
'

Li
yema:"We'
l
lbesl
owandgent
le.Pl
ease,
baby,
"I
pl
eaded.

Sheagr eedandIcur ri
edtheboysonebyonet othe
car.Theyar eget t
ingheavier.Wedr ovebackhome
andIcoul dn'twai ttotearhercl othesof f.Whenwe
gothomeweputt heboysi ntheirbedsandIwent
tothel oungewher eLalais.Shet ookof fherdress.
She'snotwear ingabr a.Iwal kedt oherandki ssed
herwhi legr abbi ngherass.Shet ookmyshi r
toff
andj ustwhenmypant swer eaboutt ogot oowe
heardascr eam f r
om upst ai
rs.Bot hofusgota
fr
ightandIwal kedupt oseewhatt hepr obl
em is
onlytobegr eetedbysmi l
es.Coul dn'
ttheygiveus
atleastf i
fteenmi nutes?Wehadnochoi cebutto
postponeourl ovesessi on.Havi ngkidscancr amp
ourst ylesomet imes.Weknewt heywer eonlygoi ng
tosleepatni ghtnow.Weal lwat chedTVandpl ayed
onceagai n.Lal aandIspokeaboutmyf ather'
scal l
mor e.Icookeddi nnerwhi leshebathedt heboys.
Wef edt hem andputt hem tobed.Wewer etir
edbut
managedt oeat .Wet henwentt otakeashower
toget herandsomehowwashedt heexhaust i
on
away.Shel etmesi tont hebedwhi lesheappl i
ed
moi sturizeronmyski n.Itwassoi nnocentyetso
sensual .Shegotont opofmeandappl i
edsomeon
mychest .Shewoul dgl i
deherbr eastsacrossmy
chestandki ssme.Howcanshenotexpectmet o
gett ooexci tedwhenshe' sdoingthis.Shekissed
mepassi onat el
yandIdi dn'twanthertostop.She
kissedmyneck, itwasl ong, wetki
sses.Sheki ssed
l
owerandl owerunt ilshegott omymanhood.My
bodyt ensewhensher eachedandt ouchedi t
.I
stoppedher , Ihadt o.

Liyema:"I
'm notr
eadyyet
,Lal
a,"Il
ookedatherand
thedisappoi
ntmentsi
nhereyeswashar dtomiss.

Lakhi
we:"
Liyem.
..
"
Li
yema:"All
owmet i
metoprepar
ement al
lyf
orit
pl
ease.Nextt
imeIwon'
tst
opyou,"Iki
ssedher.

Iknowshe'snothappy.Ipl acedheronthebottom
andkissedher .Themomentgotheat edandshe
toldmetoskipt heforeplayforthenextround
becauseshecoul dn'twaittobeonewi thme.I
searchedforthecondomsi nthesidedrawerwhil
e
kissi
ngher.Icouldn'tfi
ndanysoIbr oket heki
ssto
l
ook.Thedr aweri sempty.

Li
yema:"
Didn'
twehaveaf
ewl
eft
?"Il
ookedather
.

Lakhi
we:"
Iki
ndat
hrewt
hem away,
"shesai
dsof
tl
y.

Li
yema:"
Wit
houtt
alki
ngt
ome,
Lakhi
we?
"

Lakhi
we:"Wedon'
tneedthem anymore,
"shesai
d.I
gotupfr
om ontopofherandsatattheedgeoft
he
bed.

Liyema:"I
'm notreadytost opusingcondoms,
Lakhiwe.Wouldput ti
ngacondom onnowmakeour
sexlif
elesspleasurablejustbecauseyouknowwe
candoi twit
houtit?"Irai
sedmyvoi ce.

Lakhiwe:"Thatdi
dn'
tevencrossmymi nd,"shet
ri
ed
totouchmebutIst ood."
Liyema,I
'
m sorryfor
thr
owi ngyourcondomsaway.Ithoughtyouwon't
beneedi ngthem,
"

Li
yema:" Wel
lyout houghtwrong,Nt ombi,
"Ilooked
ather.I
'
venevercal l
edherthatsinceshe'sgot t
en
hernewname.Shej ustl
ookeddown.Iwentt othe
bathr
oom andl ockedit
.Therewassi l
encefora
l
ongwhi l
euntilIheardherapologize.

Lakhi
we:"Li
yema,I
'
llbuysomeontomor
row.I
'm
sorr
yforget
ti
ngyououtofthemood.Wecansl
eep
anddonot hi
ngifyouwon' tdoi
twit
houtprot
ect
ion.
Iwon'tl
ieI'
m di
sappoint
edbecauseI'vebeen
thi
nkingaboutt
hisnightforawhil
ebutyou'r
enot
readyandIunderstand,
"

Shedidn'tpl
eadwit
hmet oopenthedoor .If
eltl
ike
crapforthi
s.It
houghtmaybeshewentt oanother
room becausei
twasdeadsil
ent.Iwentoutaftera
whil
eandf oundherhol
dingacondom inher
shaki
nghandwhi l
ecryi
ng.

Lakhiwe:"
Foundi tinmybag.I t
'stheonl
yonel
eft
.I
missyou,Liyema, "shelookedatme.Shewalked
cl
oserandpl acedi tinmyhand.Howcoul dImake
l
ovet oherafterthewayIbehaved?Ihuggedher
andsheapol ogizedmor eforrushingme.I
apologi
zedtoherf orbei
ngaj erk.

Li
yema:"Idon'
ttr
usthi
swor danymore,
baby.He
mightsayhemadeeveryt
hingup,"Isai
dwhileIst
il
l
hel
dherinmyar ms.
Lakhiwe:"Thedoctorconf essedtofor
gingyou'
re
resul
ts.Baby,theytestedyouaboutf i
veti
mesand
theresult
scamebacknegat i
ve.Ican'
timagi
ne
whatyoumustbegoi ngthroughthoughsoIwil
lbe
pati
ent.Sexwasgr eatwi t
hacondom.IguessI '
m
j
ustcur i
ous,"

Li
yema:"
I'
m cur
ioust
oo,
"Iki
ssedher
.

Lakhiwe:"
We'l
lexpl
oresomeotherti
me.Let'
sjust
chi
llandwatchahorrormovi
e,
"Ilaughed.

Liyema:"Andhaveyouwakemeupbecauseyou
aretooafrai
dofgoingtot
hebat
hroom al
one?No
thanks,
"shelaughed.

Lakhi
we:
"I
'm nol
ongert
hatgi
rl
,"
Wewentbackt obedandIgotupt ogetherl aptop
sincemi neonl yhadwor kstuffoni t.Shewentt o
getsnacksandwechi ll
edinbedagai n.Thehor ror
wasbar el
y15mi nut esinandsomeoneal ready
clungtomeandcover edhereyesshout i
ngatt he
vict
im.Herphoner ang.Shedi dn'twantt oanswer
sinceit'
sanunknownnumberbutIt oldheri tmi ght
beHl ubi.Mysi sterchangesnet workal ot.She
answer edi t
.Iheardt henameSosoandj ustwant ed
totaket hephoneandendt hecal l.Sheaskedhi m
wher ehegothernumberandt oldhim nott ocallat
nightbecauseshedoesn' tusuallytakecal l
satni ght.
Icouldhearhi ml augh.Hesai dhe' dcal lt
omor row
andLal asai dhergood- bye.Appar ent l
yhegother
numberf r
om Zi mkhi t
ha.Idon'twanthernearhi m, I
don'tli
ket heman.We" watched"ourmovi eandI
mustsayherf eari sratherfunny.Whywat chsuch
i
fyou' l
lmisst hegoodspar ts?Ilovedbei ngt heone
nexttohert hough.Wef el
lasleepaf terwat chingt he
movi eandasIpr edictedIgotwokenupt ost andby
thedoorwhi l
eshewasi nsi
debecausesheswor e
thatsomet hingwasi ntheroom.Shewal kedout
andIst art
edscr eami ngandshescr eamedt oand
wentt othebedandcoveredherheadwit
hthe
covers.Icoul
dn'tr
esi
st.Il
aughedsomuchandshe
real
izedIscreamedatnothi
ng.Shegotupandhi
t
mewi thapill
ow.

Lakhiwe:"
Youarecr
uel
,Li
yema.Myhear
tnear
ly
stopped,
"shest
il
lhi
tmebutIhel
dherar
msand
ki
ssedher.

Li
yema:"I
'
m sor
ry,
baby.Iwasbeingsil
ly.Let
'snot
watcht
hatagai
nplease,
"Iki
ssedher
.

Iputheront hebedandt ookhergownof f

.Webot h
arehungr yforeachotherbadl
ybutI'
vegota
probl
em.Shegavemet hecondom butIputi
taside.
Myhear twasbeaut i
ngsof ast
.Shegotupandsat
medownandgotonherkneesi nf
rontofme.The
anti
cipat
ionofwhati sabouttohappensentshock
wavesal lovermybodybutt henIrememberedthat
shehadneverwentdownonamanandIgotscar ed
too.
Liyema:" Lal
a,not eethpl ease,"Ipl
eadedandshe
l
aughed.Shewassounsur eofwhatshoulddosoI
hadt oschoolher.Itwast ouchandgoatf ir
standI
feltsomet eethinsomemoment swhichfr
eakedme
outbutshegott hehangoft hingsandIcouldn't
helpbutl ayonmybackenj oyingthemoment .It
wasnott hegreatestor alexper i
enceI'
vehadbutf or
af i
r stt
imershemanagedt ogetmyt oescurled.I
coul dn'
ttakeitanyl ongert hough,Iwantedtoknow
howi twouldbet obei nsideher .Ist
oppedherand
shewasnothappyatal l
.Ikissedherpassionatel
y
bef oreIsli
dinsideherwar mf olds.

Li
yema:" Shit
,Sh..
."Isai
d."Baby,Idon'tt
hinkI '
l
llast
l
ong,"IsaidbecauseIdi dn'
twanthert oexpecta
l
ongsessi onwhenIknowI '
llbeat womi nuteman
i
nthisround.Ourt hrust
swer equickandIcoul dn't
hol
don.It ri
edthinkingaboutnonsexual stuffto
del
aybutIf ail
ed.Thepleasurewast oointense.I
l
aidont opofherknowi ngthatIdidn'tpl
easureher
onebit,
whi chneverhappenedbef ore.
Li
yema:"I'
m sor
ry.Youj
ust
...
damnLalai
t'
sjustso
warm andohmygoodness,"shesmi
led.

Lakhi
we:"
Iunder
stand,
babybutonl
ythi
sonce,
"

Li
yema:"No,i
t'
llt
aketimetogetusedto.Youfeel
amazing,
"Iki
ssedher."Notthatyoudi
dn'
tbefor
e
butnowit'
s.
..
shit
..
.i
t'
sjust
..
.Iwishitdi
dn'
thaveto
end,
"

Lakhi
we:"
Baby,
you'
ret
alki
ngt
omuch,
"webot
h
l
aughed.

Wecuddl edf orawhi l

eandIwentt ogetat owelfor
her.Ifel
tli
keaf ai
lurefornotbei
ngabl etolastl
ong.
I'
m sureshewi l
lwantust ouseprot ect
ionagain.I
foundhert alki
ngont hephoneandt houghtit
'sSo
againbutr eali
zedi t
'smyphone.Shegavei ttome
beforedisappear i
ngi nt
othebathroom.I t
's
Dudumasheandhe' scal l
ingt osayt hatTahas
passedon.It hankedhi mf orlettingmeknow.Lal a
camet ot her oom andf oundmecr ying.Idon' tknow
whyi tcr yingbecausehewasn' tmuchofaf at her.
Shehel dmeandIt oldherwhathappened.The
stranget hingi st hatgui l
thespokeoft hatwi llcome
withnotf orgivi nghi m bef orehedi ed.I '
mf eelingit.
I'
mt hinki ngabouthowIcutt hecal lshor twhenhe
wasapol ogi zing.NowIhavet ot aket heneedt othe
fami ly.IknowHl ubisaysshedi dn'tlikehi m butI
knowshewant edt omeethi m.Makhul uont he
otherhandwi llgetsi cker.Hemi ghtnothavebeen
thebestf atherbutIam t hesuccesst hatIam t oday
allthankst ohi shar dwor k.Imi ghtnothavel iked
him butIneverst oppedl ovinghi m.Hedi edhavi ng
nevert oldanyofhi sl i
vingchi ldrent hathel oves
them.Ihopehewi l
lbewi thLul onkewher everhei s
going, Iknowi twoul dmakehi ssoulr esti npeace.
Hewr ongedmebutatl eastheapol ogi zed.Iwi l
l
fi
ndoutwher ehei sandbr i
nghi m home.He
deser vest ol aynextt ot heEl ephantgr eat s.Resti n
peaceMl ambo, Lubisi,Hlubi,Senene, noXhaka.
[
03/
28,
17:
35]Lynne:SI
XTYTHREEFAST

FORWARD-THREEANDAHALFYEARSLATER

Lakhi
we

Threeyear sagoIobt ainedmyBachel orof

Commer ceinFinancialManagementandHl ubi
encour agedmet ocomecont i
nuewi thmyst udi es
soIwentont odoBachel orofCommer cewith
Honor sinFinancialManagementSci encewhi chI
obtainedt woyearsago.Thi syearI '
vebeendoi ng
myBachel orofCommer cewi t
hMast er sin
FinancialManagementandI 'm proudt osayI'llbe
graduat i
ngtoday.Fivelongyear sofbl oodsweat
andt earsatuniversi
ty.Year sofbei ngl iedtoby
Bongawhenhesai dhe' sdoi ngallinhi spowert o
getmet oschoolbutwasnotevent rying.Idon' t
evenr ecognizemyownl ifetoday.WhenIwas
doingmyt hi
rdyearthreeyear sagoHl ubiwasdoi ng
hermat r
icwhichshef ailedbutshet riedagai n
whenIwasdoi ngmyHonour sandpassed
obtainingt hr eedi st
inct i
ons.Wear eal lsopr oudof
her.Whi leIwasdoi ngmyMast ersshest ar t
edher
fi
rstyeart owar dsal awdegr ee.Li yemahasal so
gonet ost udyhi sdegr eeinMar ket i
ng
Communi cat ionsatt heschoolofadver t
ising.I
mustsaybot hofusst udyinghasnotbeeneasy.
Therewer emoment swhenwewoul dl oset ouch
witheachot herabi twhi chfor cedust ositdown
andhaveaschedul ewher eweputdaysasi def or
ourselvesandt hechi l
dr en.Theboysar enowf i
ve
andt heyar enowabl et ohaveconver sati
onswi th
us.Theymi ghtbequadsbutt hei rper sonalitiesare
mostcer t
ai nlynott hesamewhi chi sver y
i
nterest i
ng.Li yemadi dhi sbestt obr inghi sf ather's
bodyhomewi tht hehel pofDudumasheandTat a
wasbur i
ednextt ohisf atherinMt ata.Hi sbr others
arestil
laccusi ngMmaf orhisdeat hbutmymot her
i
nl awi snotbot hered.Lungigotaj obasagr aphic
designeraf t erhef i
nallydeci dedt of inishschool
andwear eal lpr oudofhi mt oo.Theot hernew
additi
ont oourf ami lyisourdaught erAmahl eXaba.
Li
yemaandIwer edr ivingthroughKhayel i
tshat ogo
pickupMakhul ufrom hercousi n'swhenshewas
visitingus.Wehear danewbor n'scr
ieswhenwe
drovebyadumpi ngsi ght.Li yemawasbr ave
enought ogoi nspectandt hat '
swhenhef oundher
andshesmi l
edwhenhef irstsawherand
i
mmedi atelystoppedcr ying.Wewentt hr
ough
formalpr ocedur eofst ayingont hescenewhi le
wai tingforthecops.Theyputheri nababysaf e
housef oraf ewmont hsbef or etheyaskedust o
fost erher.Iwasabi treluctant ,notbecauseIdi dn'
t
wanther ogi veherahomebutbecauseIhadj ust
begunmyMast er'sandbar el yhadt i
mef ormyf our
toddl ersletaloneababybutwhenLi yemasai dPat
coul dbenannyf ullti
meIagr eed.Wel ovehert o
bits.She'snotl egallyour sbutshe' sbeenst aying
withusf oral mostayearnow.She' soneyearand
threemont hsol d.Atf irsttheboysdi dn'tlikethe
newaddi tiononebutbutt heyhavewar medupt o
her .Wear ehopi ngt olegal l
yadopthersi nceher
mot herandf atherandext endedf amil
yhasnot
beenf ound.Hl ubii smor eat tachedtoherbecause
shewasonceanabandonedbabyi nawaybutshe
knowsMahl eissaf ewi thus.Wewon' thar m herin
anyway.

Isatint hebar ber'

schai rget tingaf reshhai rcutf or
mygr aduat ioncer emonyl at er.Ithinknowt hatI '
ve
fi
nishedst udyi ngImi ghtgr owmyaf robi gagai n.
Myhai rbeingshor tjustmadel if
eeasi erbecauseI
neverhadenought imetogetr eadyint hemor nings.
Li
yemaandIwentt ogetmyacademi cdr essand
ti
ckets.Idon' tknowhowmyhusbanddi ditbuthe
managedt ogett hr eeextrat ickets.Liyemaand
Makhul uwer et heonl yoneswhom wepl anned
weregoi ngt oat t
endbutnowmyf ather,grandf ather
andbestf ri
endHl ubicancomewi th.Icalledher
andshescr eamedwi t
hexci tement .Weal sowentt o
getmycust om madewi del eggedj umpsui tsuit.I
l
ovej umpsui ts.Itlookssoel egantyetedgyatt he
samet ime.Wedr ovebackhomesoIcoul dget
mysel fready.Il ookedatLi yema, we'vebeen
mar r
iedf oroverf ouryearsnow.Hi shear thasbeen
behavingandhef inall
yaccept edthathei snotHI V
positi
ve.Hel ookssoser iouswhi l
edr ivi
ng.
Lakhiwe:"Baby,t
hankyouf orsupporti
ngmy
dreamsasyou' vepromisedtodo.Iknowi t
'snot
easyt ohaveawi f
ewhowasal soast udentbutyou
havebeenencour agingmef orthepastfiveyear
s,
wellfouryearsbecauseyouwer en'tr
eall
yI'm my
l
ifeinmyf ir
styear,
"webothl aughed.

Li
yema:" I
'
mj ustpr
oudofyou.Ican'tbeli
eveI'm
att
endingyourthi
rdgraduati
ontoday,beauti
ful
.
Lookatyou,Mr sCum Laude,
"hesaidinsucha
charmingvoi
ceandIwasl ef
tbl
ushingwhi l
eIdida
minihappydance.

Lakhi
we:"
Fiveyear
sandf
iveki
dsl
aterwear
eher
e,
baby,
"hesmil
ed.

Liyema:"Lif
ehasbeengood.NoteasybutGodhad
car r
iedusthrough.Ar
eyoustil
lupf ormaking
Mahl eapartofthefamil
yoffi
ciall
y?"Inodded."
I
thinkshe'shappywithus.Shouldwegetabi gger
house? "
Lakhiwe:"Easy,bi
gguy.She'
sgoodi ntheroom t
hat
wast heguestroom.Let'
snotcommi ttoomuch
onlyforherparent'
sfamil
ytocomef orher.Weare
sti
llwait
ingonthesocialworker
,"henodded.

Liyema:"Thankyouf orthewonder f
ulyearsof
mar ri
age.IthinkyouandIwer ereal
lythrowninthe
deependf rom thebegi nning.Havingf ourki
ds
whenwewer en'
tevent ogether.Mar r
iagenotlong
afterwestarteddating.I'
m gl adwegett obeher eat
thismomentaboutt ocel ebrateyetanotherofyour
achievement s.Wil
lyouf urtheryourstudies?"

Lakhiwe:"
No,notyet
.Ij
ustwanttostar
tworki
ng
andonceI'vegai
nedenoughexperi
encemaybe
star
tmyownbusi ness,
"hesmil
ed.

Li
yema:"Sowear
ereal
lybui
ldi
ngt
heseempi
res,
heypar
tner
,"
Lakhiwe:"Youbetweare,mylove.Evenour
grandchil
drenshoul
dbenefi
tfrom whatwehave
buil
d.Iforseegener
ati
onalwealt
h,"wedi
dahigh
fi
ve.

Wear rivedhomeandt heent irefamilywast her

e.
Thosewhowi l
lbeleftbehindwi llbepr epari
nga
familydinner.IfoundMakhul u,Tamkhul uandTat a
i
nt heirSundaybestal ready.Iqui ckl
ywentupst ai
rs
wit
hHl ubit
ogetr eady.Itookaqui ckshowerand
satdownsoshe' ddomymakeup.Mysi st
erinlaw
andIshar ealmostever ything.Igotdr essedandI
fel
tsosexyandbeaut i
ful.Iwentdownst airsandthe
familyallcheered.Il
ovet hesepeopl esomuch.My
husbandcoul dn'thelpbutki ssmeandmademe
tur
nar ound.

Bukhosi:"
Wow, Mamayoul
ookbr
eat
htaki
ng,
"the
el
derslaughed.
Lungi
:"Br
eat
htaki
ng?Wheredidyoul
ear
nsucha
bi
gwor d?
"helookedathi
snephew.

Bukhosi
:"TatasaysMamal ooksbreat
htaki
ngt
oo.
Notso,Tata?
"hel ookedathi
sfat
her.

Li
yema:"
Yes,
myboy,
"hesmi
led.

Banel
e:"Ili
kethedressthatyouwereweari
ng
Sunday.Notthisdresspants,
"hesaidwi
thafr
own
onhisface.TrustmrIsayitli
keiti
stosay
somethingli
kethat.

Lakhi
we:"Iwil
lweari
tagai
nbutt odayt
hisiswhat
I'
m goingwi
th,
"Il
ookedathim andhejustshook
hishead.

Bandil
e:"
Mama,youl ookaspret
tyasmygir
lfr
iend
butyouarepr
ett
ier
,"hesmiledandever
yone
l
aughed.Ihaveadaught
eri
nlawal
ready?

Bubel
e:"
Mama,
lwantt
ocomewi
th,
"hesul
ked.

Li
yema:"
Youguyshavet
ostaybecausechi
ldr
en
ar
enotal
lowedwher
ewe'r
egoing,
"heli
ed.

Lakhiwe:"Thankyouf orthecompl
iments,
my
babiesbutTat aisright,noki
dsall
owed.Fornowlet
ustakepicturestoget herandMakhul
uwi l
lgi
veyou
somecaket oolaterifyoubehaveoncewe'vegone,
"
theyalll
ookedatMr sEandshenodded.

Makhul u:"Befor ewegoIj ustwantt osay

somet hing.Oh, NtombiIcan' tbel
ievethisi syou.
I'
mj ustsopr oudwor dsfailmebutIcan' tkeepquiet
becauseI 'm sopr oudofyou, "shestartedt ocryand
Ialmostdi dt obutHl ubipointedatmet ostopme.
"Thi
si sthet hir
duni versi
tycelebrat
ionI '
llgotowith
youandIj ust..
.ohbutyouhavewor kedhar dtobe
atthi
spoint
.Tat
aandIareblessedtobeher
ewith
you.Weloveyousomuch,"shewipedhert
ears.

Tamkhul u:"Nt
o-Ntoyearsofcr yingf oryourmot her
butshewi pedourtearsbyl eavingyouf orust o
healourwounds.Youar et hef i
rstint hefami l
yto
haveobtainedsuch.Itelleveryonei nt hevill
age
whogossi pedaboutyouwhenyouwer elowt hat
thepersonyouspatoni snowt oohi ghforyoual lt
o
reach.Whenyouhadt heboyst heysai dyou'd
amountt onothingespeciall
yaf teryougavet hem
awaybutl ookwhatGoddi d.Thankyouf ornot
l
eavingusbehi ndwhent hingsst artedt olookupi n
yourli
fe.Manychi l
drenforsaket heireldersbutnot
you.Wel oveyouwi t
hal ovenowor dscan
descri
be,"hetookoutacl othfrom hi spocketand
wipedhist ear
s.

Tat
a:"
OhNtombi,wi
thanupbri
ngi
ngli
keyours
manywoul
dhavethoughtyou'
dendupinthegut
ter
.
Myexwif
eplayedherpar
tinmaki
ngsuresuff
eri
ng
i
swhatyouknowbutl ookwherethosewhomade
yousuf f
erare.Inadarkcel
lrot
tingwhileyou
blossom.Whenyouwer ebornyourmot hersaid
you'dbeadoct orandIknowshe' dhavebeen
dancinghererightnowinhonourofheronl ychil
d.
Youandyourhusbandhavehel pedmeandLwazi
whenIsenthi mt othemountai
n.Youadvi sehim
andyout ryt
or eachouttoyoursist
erevenifshe
reject
syou.Wel oveyousomuch, "

Liyema:"I
'
dhatetobet hepart
ypooperbutthi
sone
hast obeseat
edaf ewmi nut
esbeforethe
ceremonystar
ts.Speecheswillbedonelat
eron,
"he
smi l
ed.

Hl
ubi:"
Let'
sgo.Wedon'twanttobel ockedoutI
'
m
t
ooexcitedt
orisknotbei
ngleti
n,"sheranoutand
welaughed.

Ihadtogi
veBubel
eextr
acomf
ort
sforl
eavingt
hem
behi
nd.It
hinkhei
stheMama'
sboy.Wetookafew
pictur esandmadeourwayt othevenue.Iwent
throughal lprocedur esandwasf i
nal lyseat ed.The
ceremonyst artedaf terawhi leandj ustknowi ngmy
husbandandpar entsar eintheaudi encemademe
sohappy.Whenmynamegotcal l
edIgot
goosebumps.I '
vedonet histwot i
mesbef orebut
thef eelingofner vesandexci t
ementneverl eaves.
Makhul ucamet ot hefrontandr ecitedmycl an
names.Hervoi cewassof tbutmyear swer e
focusedonher .Icr i
ed.Afterawhi leever ythingwas
doneandwest oodoutt akingalotofpi ctur es.
Wheni twast imet ogohomewei nst eaddr ove
elsewher e.Iknewt heywer euptosomet hi ng.We
drovet othepl acewher etheyor gani sedapar tyf
or
me.Si ndi,XoliandDuduwer ethere.Ir ant oDudu
becausei thasbeenawhi lesinceI'veseenher .
Theyar eallwor kingnow.Icr i
edsomuchbecauseI
wasover whelmedbyt hel oveandsuppor t.I '
m
offi
ci allyaMast er'sinFinancialManagement
Sciencegr aduat e.Theyhi redSoulKul t
ureaspar tof
theent ert
ainment .Theirsong" Ngeliny" i
langa"hi t
deep.Ir ememberat i
mewhenIsai donedayI 'dbe
happy.OnedayI '
llhaveadegr ee.OnedayI '
llhave
ahusbandwhol ovesme.OnedayI '
llhaveki dsof
myown.OnedayI '
llreunitewi thmyf amily.ThenI
metBongawhomademebel i
evet hatmydaywoul d
nevercome.TodayI '
m happy, I'
vegr aduatedCum
Laudehol dingaMast er'sdegr ee,Ihaveanamazi ng
husband, Ihavef i
vebeaut ifulchildren,I'
m
surroundedbyf amily.Indeedt hedevi lmayt ryhis
l
uckbuti nnevergi vingupIgott owi tnessGod' s
graceinmyl if
e.Sot hissongspoket omei nways
manywon' tunderstand.Amahl elookedatmel i
ke
I'
m crazywhi lehelpingmewi pemyt ears.Liyema
andIwoul dl ovenot hingbutt ogiveachi ldahappy
homesoshemaynevergot hrought hingsHl ubi
andIwentt hrough.Liyemaki ssedmeaf t
erthe
performanceandmadehi swayt ot hef r
ont.

Liyema:"
Wow,Uhm Iactual
lydon' thavemucht o
say.Ij
ustwant
edtothankmyi nl awsf orblessi
ngs
mewi tht
hei
rbeaut
if
ulchil
d.Lala, ourlovedones
knowwhatyouandIhavebeent hrough.It hi
nk
therewer
emomentswhenwewer ebotht ooti
redto
goonyethereweare.I
t'
ssaidthatawomanwi th
bothbeaut yandbr ainsisal ethalcombi nationand
I'
m blessedt ohaveawi fewhot hinksandl ovesas
youdo.I 'vewat chedyouexceli neachr oleyou
havebeenassi gnedi nthisl if
e.You' vebeenan
amazi ngwi f
e, greatmot hert oourchi l
dren,
wonder fuldaught ertoourpar ents,andasmar t
student.I'm honour edtobecel ebratingyou, my
l
ove.Thr eegr aduationsandsomet hingt el
lsme
you'renotf ini
shed, justresting,"wel aughed." You'r
e
amazi ng.Toyou, baby,"her aisedhi sglass." Il
ove
you,"ever yoner aisedthei rglassesandcheer ed.He
walkedt omeandki ssedme.Wef orgotwher ewe
weref oramoment .

Lakhi
we:"
Iloveyout
oo,
"Ihuggedhi
m.

Thisdaycouldn'
tgetanymoreperfect.SoonI '
l
lbe
star
tingmynewj obasanaccountantatt he
companywhosuppor tedmefinanciall
ythroughout
thefiveyear
s.Thei
rCEOevencameoutt othepart
y
togiveaspeechbecauseI'
m oneoft heirbest
students.If eltsospecial.Ican'twai ttohel pmy
husbandwi thexpenses.Ican' twai ttosur pri
sehim
withweekendsawayt hatIpaidf or.IknowIwon' t
earnmuchatf i
rstbutI'
m ahar dwor ker .I
'l
lmake
mymar katt hatcompany.Thepar tywentonand
si
sPatt ookMahl ehome.Wewer eal ldancingand
j
ustbeinghappy.Idancedwi thmyboyst oo.Ican't
beli
evet heyhavegr ownsomuch.Soont heywillbe
goingtouni versit
yandgoont ol ivet heirownl i
ves.
Theynol ongert hecuddl ybunniest heyusedt obe.
Theyhavebecomesoi ndependent .Iwentt othe
fr
ontandsai dat hankyouspeech.Hubbyi sri
ght,I
mightjustr et ur
nt oschoolbutt hatwon' tbenow.
FornowI '
llsuppor thim unti
lhegr aduat es.Il
ove
him andIl ovet hel i
fewehavebui l
twi thoutany
pressure.Wemi ghtbuyt hatbiggerhousebutI '
m
notreadyt ol etgooft heonewe' vemadesomany
memor iesi n.

Hl
ubi
WhenIf ai
ledmat ri
ct hef irsttimeIwant edt ogive
upbutmycheer leader s,myf ami l
ysai dhel lno.I
admi tthatmyf ather 'sf uner alwassad.Idi dn'twant
tomeett hemanonl ywhenhel aidinacof finbut
l
ifehappened.Zol aandIar ebet terandIevensay
Mmanowonoccasi ons.I 'veset tl
edi ncompl etely
overtheyear s.Igot ot heDecemberf ami l
y
reunionswi tht hem andIl ovei t.Myr elationshi p
withmybr other si sawesome.Theyt endt obe
overprotecti
vet houghI '
m ol derbutIl ikei t.Khi -
Khi
andIar einsepar abl e.Ievenhel pherdoherdut ies
whenshe' satMakhul u's.I'm asel fprocl aimed
feministsoI '
vel ett hem al lknowt hati t
'sabsur d
thatMakot ihavet osl aveoff orahousef ul lof
peopleyetwecl aimt hem t obedaught ersoft he
family.Needl esst osayourmakot isdon' twakeup
earl
yandar eont heirf eetal ldayanymor e.Myf i
rst
yearatuni versityi sgr eatandI 'vemadeaf ew
fri
ends.Mysi ster sar edoi nggr eatt oo.Twoar eal so
i
nuni versit
yandot her '
sar ewor kinginr etai l
.Mr sB
i
sst i
llmyt her apist .Ican' tthankherenough.Ial so
hopet hatAmahl ewi l
lendupwi thmybr ot herand
sist
erbecauseI '
ver eadt hehor rorsbabi esgo
throughinmostf osterhomes.Her esheissafeand
l
oved.Idon' tunder standwhoabandonsababyata
dumpi ngsight .Shecoul dhavebeeneat enbydogs
orraped.IthinkLi yemaandLakhi wewer emeantt o
fi
ndher .Cl
ear lyhermot herdi
dn'twanthersoI
don'tunderstandwhyt hesocialworkerswon'tlet
them makehert heirsof f
ici
all
y.Mynephewsar emy
buddies.I'
mt hecoolauntandIl ovethatIcan
sneakt hem icecr eam whent heirparent
sforbidit
.

Beingatyetanot heroneofLakhi we'sgr aduations

hadinspi redme.Iwi llgraduatetoosomedayeveni f
i
ttakesmeyear s.Iwantt oknowwhati tf eel
sliketo
walkont hatstagewhi l
emyf amilycheer s.It
'ssad
thatMl ungisinevergottoknowt hatwehad
somet hingincommon, t
hel oveforlaw.I '
vest i
ll
keptZol a'ssecretaboutherhandi nfr
ami nghim.
Shealsot ol
dmeaboutherpast .OneIcan' tf
aul t
herfor.Wear einuniversit
ybecausepeopl eli
keher
foughtf orabet t
erfutureforthecomi ng
generations.Iwasbusydanci ngandget tingdown
withLakhi wewhensomeonet appedmyshoul der.I
l
ookedbackandi
t'
saman.Hel
ookedhandsomeI
mustadmit
.

Lakhi
we:"MrMbuzo,t
hankyousomuchf
or
coming,
"shehuggedhi
m.

Mbuzo:"
Thankyoufort
heinvi
teandIdi
dtel
lyou
i
t'
sYanda,notMrMbuzo,
"hesmiled.

Lakhi
we:"
I'
llrememberthat
.Ar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
or
Li
yema?Het ookourboyshome,"

Mbuzo:"
Iwasactuall
yhopi
ngthatyou'
dintr
oduce
metothebeaut
if
ulladyi
nyourcompany,"he
smi
ledatme.

Hlubi:"
Andyoucoul
dn'tj
ustcometomedi rect
ly
andaskf ormyname.Youhadtotur
nar oundsharp
cornerswhenyoucoul
djustcomestr
aighttome,"I
sai
dsar
cast
ical
ly.

Lakhi
we:"
Hlubi
,
"shesai
dbet
weencl
osedt
eet
h.

Mbuzo:"OhI
'
m sorr
y.Imeantnodi
srespectnor
of
fence,
"hel
ookeddown.

Hlubi:"
I'
m Mahlubandi
leElephantbyt
heway.You
don'thavetosneakaroundlikeanFBIagentt
ryi
ng
togetinfor
mationonme, "Il
ookedathim.

Lakhi
we:"Hl
ubi,
"shesaidagainsoftl
yandheldmy
arm."
She'
sLiyemasist
er,Yanda.Hlubit
hisi
sYanda
Mbuzo,oneofLiyema'
sclient
s,"shesmil
ed.

Mbuzo:"
Apleasure,
MissEl
ephant,
"hesmil
ed.I
l
ookedatLakhi
wewhowasgi vingsi
gnalwi
thher
eyest
hatIshoul
dsaysomethingback.
Hlubi:"
Likewi
se,Yandaanddon' tcallmeMiss
Elephantissuf
focati
ng,"If
inal
lysaid.Lakhi
weput
herhandoverherf ace.WhatdidIsaywr ong?He'
s
l
uckyI '
m evental
kingtohim andI'm onl
ydoingi
t
becausehebr i
ngmybr ot
hercash.

Lakhiwe:"Mygrandmot
herl
ookst
ir
ed.Iwi
llgo
check,"shesai
d.

Hl
ubi:"
Myf avour
it
eMakhul
u.Letmegor
ubher
f
eet,
"Isai
d.

Lakhiwe:"No,stayher
eanddance.Youknow
Makhul uhateditwhenwef uss,
"shegavea
naughtysmi l
ebeforerunni
ngof f
.Ilookedatthet
all
mani nfrontofmeandwai tedforhimt ol
eaveme
alone.Idon'
twantaman.I '
m nol ongerafr
aidof
them butIdon'twantt
odate.

Mbuzo:"
Sohowl
ongwi
llyoubei
ntownf
or?
"
Hlubi
:"ForeverandI'm notgoi
ngtomeetupwit
h
youaftert
hissoer asethatimagi
narydat
eyou
alr
eadypicturedinyourmi nd,
"Il
ookedathi
m.He
l
aughedsof tl
y.

Mbuzo:" Wow,
"hesaidsoft
ly."
OkayI'veerasedit
,"
helaughedandIactual
lydi
dt obutnotforhimto
noti
ce."Sowhatdoyoudo, Mahlubandil
e?Ilove
yournamebyt heway.Neverhearditbefore,
"

Hl
ubi:"
I'
m afi
rstyearl
awstudent
.Ilovei
ttoothat
's
whyIgavemyselfthename,
"hiseyeswidened.
Cl
ear
lysurpr
ised.

Mbuzo:"I
nter
esti
ngI'
dliketohearhowyou
managedtonameyour selfwhenmostofushadno
sayi
nours.Sowhatwer eyoudoingbeforeyou
wentbacktoschoolt
ost udylaw?"heasked.
Hlubi
:"Somethi
ngt
hatwi
llmakeyouwi
shyou
neverwalkedmyway,
"

Mbuzo:"I
'
ml i
steni
ng,"helookedatmeso
att
ent
ivel
y.Thetendernessinhi
seyesmademe
unset
tl
edinaway.

Hlubi:"
Iwasaescor t,
aprost
itut
e.Therenowyou
knowsoyoucangoonandf indanotherlady
i
nteresti
ng,"Ibl
urt
edout.Iwanttoscarehim of
f.So
fari
t'
swor kedwiththemenwhohavehi tonme.

Mbuzo:"Isti
llf
indyout hemostinter
esti
ngi
nt he
room.Ifyouwer ehopingformetogor unoutthat
doorbecauseofyourpastt henI'
m sorr
ytoletyou
knowthatnowIr eall
ywantt oknowyoumor ethan
befor
e,"

Hlubi:"
Didn'
tyouhearwhatIsai
d?"Iasked
sarcasti
cal
ly.
Mbuzo:"Loudandcl ear
.Ialsoknowwear ehere
nowinthepr esent
.DoIwantt ohearaboutyour
past
?Yes.Wi llIj
udgeyouf ort
hingsyoudidwhen
youweren'teveninmyl i
fe?No,'hesoundedsi
ncer
e.

Hlubi:"
Okay,ni
cetomeetyouandyourpr et
ent
ious
self
,Yanda.Haveagreatnight
,"Iwantedtowalkoff
butheheldmyar m.Inolongerputupascene
whenamandoest hatunl
essIhavet o.Ihadno
reasontothi
stime.

Mbuzo:"Hereismynumber
.Shoul
dyouchange
yourmind,cal
lme,
"

Hl
ubi
:"Whatdoyouwantf
rom me?
"

Mbuzo:"
Fornowadanceandlat
erwhenyou'
reup
t
oitmaybeadate,
"Il
ookedathi
mforalongwhil
e.
Hlubi:"Outofallt
hesewoman,youngbeaut
if
ul
professionalwomenyouchoseme?Evenaf t
erI
'
ve
tol
dyouI '
vesoldmybodyinthepast
?"

Mbuzo:"Yesandwhat'ssodi
ff
icul
ttounderst
and
aboutt
hat?"hel
ookedatme.ThisguythoughI
don'
twanttogetsoft
.

Hlubi
:"Idon'tknow.Maybethef
actt
hatallmenran
whenIt ol
dthem.Maybebecausemenwant
youngergir
ls.Maybebecausemendon'twantan
oldst
udentasagi r
lf
ri
end,
"

Mbuzo:" Thendon'tjudgemebyt hechoi

cesof
thosemen.Theyknowwhatt heyarel
ookingfor
andI'm gladitwasn'
tyou.Iseeabeautif
ulwoman
whoi sambi t
iousandcar ef
reeanddoesn'
ttake
crapfrom anyone,"
Hlubi:"Whyaren'
tyoumar
ri
ed?Imeanyou'
reat
thatagewereyoushoul
dhavebeenmarr
iedfor
years?,"hel
aughed.

Mbuzo:" I
'm notthatold,
I'
m only40.I'
veneverbeen
marriedbutIdohaveat enyearolddaughterwho
l
iveswi t
hmef ul
lti
mebecausehermot heris
marriedandt hemandoesn' twantmychi l
di nhis
famil
y.It'
sokaybecauseIdon' twantherraisedby
anothermananyway.Doyouhavechi ldr
en,"I
shookmyhead" Sowannadocof fee?Yourbr ot
her
knowsmever ywel lsoevenifIwantedtotryfunny
thi
ngsIknowhe' df indandkil
lme,"

Hl
ubi
:"I
'
llt
hinkabouti
t.Whatdoyoudo?
"

Mbuzo:"
I'
m abusi
nessman.Imaketai
lormade
man'swear,
sui
tsmostl
y.Sobypr
off
esionI'
ma
desi
gner
,"
:
Hlubi:"
OkayYandat
hedesi
gnerI'
llt
hinkabout
call
ingyou,
"hesmil
edandnodded.

Iwalkedawayf r
om him asf astaspossi
ble.
Lakhiwewaswai twit
hasmi leandli
ketypicalgi
rl
s
wewal kedoutwhil
ehol dinghandstotalkabout
whatjusthappened.Itoldheraboutwhathappened
andshedi dnotl
ookshocked.

Lakhi
we:"
He'
sagoodman.Sowi
llyoucal
lhi
m?"

Hlubi
:"Won'
tLiyemahaveaprobl
em wi
thi
tsi
nce
he'sacli
ent
?"shelaughed.

Lakhi
we:"You'
renochild.Soyou'
reworr
iedabout
whatLiyemawillt
hinkdoesthatmeanyou'
llcal
l?
"
sheaskedexci
tedly.

Hl
ubi
:"Ihaven'
tbeenwi
thamansi
ncemyl
ast
cl
ientyearsago.Idon'
tknowwhatmakingloveis,
Lakhiwe.Yes,mybodybetrayedmewithsomeof
mycl i
entsbymakingmeenj oysomeofthesexual
actsbutI'
veneverknownwhathavingsexforl
ove
i
slike,
"

Lakhiwe:"Whyonear
thi
syourmi
ndj
umpi
ng
str
aighttosex?
"

Hl
ubi:"
Becauseit'
swhatmenhavewantedfr
om me
si
nceIwasat een.Ij
ustt
hinkt
heyal
ldoevennow,
"

Lakhiwe:"
Wel lheaskedf orcof
feeatapubl
icpl
ace
whereyou'l
lfeellessthreat
ened.I
fyouwantI'
ll
evenlurkaroundcl osebyshouldyouneedt
obe
rescued,
"Ismi l
ed.

Hl
ubi
:"Youwoul
d?"shesmi
ledandnodded.
Lakhi
we:"Look, fr
iendIcan'tforceyoutogoout
wit
hhimj ustbecauseIt hinkhe'sadecentmani f
youdon'twantt o.WhatI'mt r
yingtotel
lyouisthat
notal
lmenwantt odestr
oyyou.It ol
dyouoncet hat
Ihadthesamef earswhenLi yemawant edustobe
morethanfriends.Apar tofmewassur ehe'
sgoi ng
tobeabusiveint helongrunbutl ookatusnow.
Youjustneedt obebr aveenought oletsomeone
i
n,"

Hl
ubi
:"He'
sachi
evedsomuchal
ready,
"

Lakhiwe:"I
'l
lsoundli
keabrokenrecordbutthat
wasmeandLi yemaonceuponat i
me.Af i
rstyear
studentwithamanwi thhi
sownbusi ness.Feeli
ng
guil
tyforhavingtoaskhimformoneywhenI '
m
shortbutlookatus.Wemadei tandsoonI '
l
lhelp
himt oo.Maybeyouwer eri
ght
,inawayourl ives
aresimilar
"webot hl
aughed.

Hl
ubi
:"Beent
ell
ingyouf
oryear
s.Soshoul
dIgof
or
i
t?"

Lakhiwe:"Whatdoesyouri
ntui
ti
ont
ellyou,
thatgut
feel
ing?"

Hl
ubi:"
I'
mintr
iguedbyhim.Bywhatheseesi
nme
t
houghItol
dhimI '
m damagedgood,
"

Lakhiwe:"Iwasanot herman' str

ashbutnowI '
m my
husband'st r
easure.Di ff
erentcharact
ers,r
emember
that
.I'
m sur ehispasti snotsquickycleaneither.I
saytry.I'
l
lgosi ti
nt hecor nerofthecoffeeshop
tai
zer,peppersprayandf akeguni nhand.When
ther
ei str
oubl eIwil
lel ectr
ocutehim andsprayhi s
eyesunt i
ltheyfal
lout ,"welaughedsomuch.

Hlubi:"
Stopit
,cr
azyass,
"wehugged."
OkayI'
llcal
l
him duri
ngtheweek.Whataboutt
hedaught
er
though!"
Lakhiwe:"She'
sapar tofhispackage.Lovel yli
ttl
e
pri
ncesssodon' tworry.Hewon' tintroduceyout o
hischil
dyetanyway.Heneedst oknowyouf i
rst
beforeall
owingyoui nherl i
fe.Ear l
ieronwhenyou
werebeingsarcasticIadmi tIwasabi tli
ke"what
thehell
"butIremember edyoubr eathsar casm so
heneedst oknowwhathebr ingshi msel fint
o.
Proudthatyouwer eyour self.Hi
ghf ive"sheraised
herhandandIhi titwithmi ne."Soheknowsyou' r
e
asarcasti
cbum andyourpastbutst il
lwantstogo
forcoff
ee.ShouldIstartpr epari
ngf oryour
wedding?"webot hlaughed.

Hlubi
:"No,cr
azyass,"welaughed."Ohbutwedo
havetoprepareyoursandLiyema'sthough.I
'
m
thi
nki
ngDecember ,"

Lakhi
we:"
Thi
nki
ngofhavi
ngi
taf
terhegr
aduat
es,
"

Hlubi:"Fi
rsti
twasaf
terIgetmydegree,t
henaf
ter
f
inishingmyHonours,thenaf
terf
ini
shingmy
Mast ersandnowaf terLi
yemaf inishhi sst udi
esin
twoyear s.No,noguys,you'vebeenpr omi singusa
weddi ng.Evenifi
t'
ssomet hingtradit
ionalyho, "I
sulkedandshel aughed."Whokeepsdel aying?"she
l
ookeddownandIknewi t'
sher ."Ishoul dhave
known, Mr sIwanttocontr
ibutetot heweddi ng
expensest oo,
"Isaidandshel aughed.

Li
yema:"Whatar
eyouguysdoi
ngouther
e?"he
appear
ed.

Hlubi:"Tell
ingyourwifeweneedaweddi ng
celebrati
on.I'veneverbeentoaweddingguys
please,"Isulkedli
keat een.Li
yemawalkedt
o
Lakhiweandpoi ntedaf i
ngerather
.

Lakhi
we:"
Butyouagr
eed,
Ndl
ovu,
"shel
aughed.

Li
yema:"Towai
tonyoutofinishnotf
ormeto
compl
etemystudi
es.We'
llgrowoldandst
il
lnot
havehadaweddi
ng,
"wel
aughed.

Hl
ubi
:"Let
'sdoi
tear
lynextyearwhi
lei
t'
sst
il
lhot
,"

Lakhi
we:"That
'sbet
weenmyhubbyandI,dearsel
f
appoi
ntedweddingpl
anner
,"wel
aughed.

Li
yema:"SoIj
usthadanint
erest
ingconver
sati
on
wit
hYanda.Heaskedformypermissi
ontotakeyou
onadate,
"hel
ookedatme.

Hl
ubi:"
Itol
dthi
smantostopaski
ngotherpeopl
e
whatconcer
nsme.Iwi
llgoandgi
ve.
..
,"

Lakhiwe:"
Healreadyaskedyouout,dudeandyou
saidnosocalm yoursel
fdown,"shecutmeshort
.I
wasal mostupsetunti
lIr
eal
izedshe'
sgivi
ngmea
tast
eofmyownsar casm.
Hl
ubi
:"Oh,
"

Lakhi
we:"Al
lhe'sdoingistoprepar
eLiyemashoul
d
youagreesoitwon'taff
ectthei
rworki
ng
rel
ati
onshi
p,"

Hl
ubi:"Domensti
llaskforper
missiontodat
ea
womanf rom t
hef
ami l
yleader
?"Iaskedwhil
e
bl
ushing.

Li
yema:"
Idon'
trememberdoi
ngt
hat
,"t
heyl
aughed

Lakhi
we:"Baby,
youdi
dn'
tevenaskthem f
or
per
missi
ontomar r
yme,
"shelaughed.

Liyema:"
Damnt
hismoder
nli
ving.I
'
m sor
ry,
baby,
"
theyki
ssed.
Ismi ledandj ustshookmyhead.Il eftt
hem whi le
theywer est il
lkissing.Itwasasi fI'
vejust
disappear ed.Ist oodandl ookedbackoncemor e
andr eal i
zedt hatIwantt hat.Iwantt ojokewi thmy
significantot heraboutt i
mest heymessedupt oo.I
wal kedbacki nsidebef orethel ovebirdsshowme
otherst uf f.Iwalkedi nandsomeoft heguest shad
goneal ready.Yandast oodt alki
ngt osomegr oup
buthi seyeswer eonmewhent heymetmi ne.I
admi tIbl ushed.Hel ookedatmebutnoti na" hey,
trampIwantt oscr ewyou"wayt hatmostmenhave.
Buti na" Hi,I'
dliket ogett oknowyoubet ter,
"way.
OrImi ghtbeovert hinkingthings.Iwentt ostand
wi t
hLakhi we'sf riendsf r
om Por tEli
zabethandt hey
aregr eatpeopl e.Iwentt owher eYandast oodand
askedt ot alktohi m.Heexcusedhi mself.

Hlubi:"I'
m upforthatcoffeenowifyouaregame,"
heputhi sglassofwhi skeyasideandnodded
quickly.Icoul
dn'thelpbutlaugh.Wewentnextdoor
wher etherestauranthadal i
tt
lecosycoff
eespot
.
Hepul ledachairoutf orme.Thisisl
ikeLi
yemabut
wi
thanext
radoseofgent
lemen.Hesatdownand
or
der
edtwocoff
ees.

Mbuzo:"
Youl
ookbeauti
fulbyt
heway,
"Il
ooked
downandbl
ushed.Whatishedoi
ngt
ome? .

Hlubi:"
Usual
lyI
'
dsay"
Iknow"butt
hankyou,
"he
smiled.

Yanda:"It
houghtIhadwhatI '
dsayt oyouonce
we'r
ealonefiguredoutbutnowI'm notevensure,
"
welaughed.Lakhiwestoodbythedoorandhel dher
peppersprayup.Iburstoutofl
aughterandhehad
towaitunti
lI'
m donelaughi
ngyethei slaughi
ngtoo
butnoideawhy.

Hlubi
:"I
'm sor
ry,Uhm mysisterj
ustkindagaveme
asignthatshe'
swatchingyoucloselysoshould
youtryanythi
ngfunnyshe'
llapparent
lysprayyour
eyesunti
ltheyeyesfal
lout,
"helaughedtoo.Iwiped
mytear
s.Bot
hLakhi
weandIar
ecr
azyandIl
ove
howwearetoget
her
.

Yanda:"
You'
vegotafunnyl
augh.Iwasl
aughi
ngat
yourl
augh,
"welaughed.

Hlubi
:"Wel
lthanks,Yandaf orsayi
ngI'
m acl
own.
Seeyoudon'tneedtor ehearsewhatyouwoul
d
havesaidt
ome.Conver sati
onsshouldcome
natur
all
yandunfil
tered,"

Yanda:"
Hmm maybeifIhangaroundyoul
ong
enoughyourcar
efr
eespi
ri
twil
lruboffonme,
"

Hl
ubi
:"Yesandjustli
ve.Li
fei
stooshor
t.Sodi
dyou
st
udyf
ashiondesign?"

Mbuzo:"Yesanditmademanyladiesthi
nkI
'
m gay
henceIdidn'
thaveagi
rl
fr
iendal
lthrough
uni
ver
sit
y,"Il
aughed.

Hlubi:"
Iactuall
yalsothoughtallmeninfashionar
e
gay,"heraisedhisbrowandl ookedatmeandI
l
aughed." Iknowbetternow,"helaughedsoft
ly.
He'shandsome.Hehasahoneyl ikeski
ncolorand
aredbirthmarkonhi scheek.Wellifi
t'
sabirt
hmark.

Yanda:" Ij
ustl
ovecreati
ng.I
'
mi npart
nershi
pwi
th
withthreeeventpl
anningcompaniessoImakesur
e
thei
rclient
slookdapperonthosespecial
occasions,"

Hl
ubi
:"You'
rel
ookingdappert
oo,
"Ibl
urt
edout
.I
wast
hinki
ngoutloud.Ohgosh

Yanda:"Thankyou.Wel
lIhavetowearwhatImake
conf
identl
ysopeoplewil
lbuy.Havi
ngyourbrot
her
hel
pingwi t
hmarketi
nghashelpedalot
,"
Hlubi
:"He'sgreatatwhathedoes,
"Isai
dandther
e
wassilence."
I'm sur
eyou'r
ewonderi
ngaboutmy
pastr
ight?"Isaid.Heshookhi
shead.

Yanda:"I'
m actual
lyt
hinki
ngofhowt
oaskyouon
anoffi
cialdate,
"Il
aughedsoft
ly.

Hlubi
:"Soyouwoul
drat
hernotknowabouti
t,my
past?
"Iaskedandhel
ookmedi r
ect
lyi
ntheeyes.

Yanda:"Ifyouwantt oshareittheni t'

sokaybutif
youdon' tthat
'sokay.I'
mjustgladwe' rehaving
coff
eet ogether,
"hesmi l
ed.Ireturnedtheeye
contactandwel ookedint
oeachot her'
seyes.Ican
nowt el
lmyst orywi t
houttearssoIt olditt
ohim
andhecr i
edinstead.Whatthehel l?Igavehim
spaceandheapol ogizedforcrying.

Yanda:"
I'
m sor
ryi
tjustgott
oomuchf
orme,
a
fatherofayounggi rl
.I'
dkillanymanwhodar edto
hurtmychi ld.Iguessit
'salsowhyI '
m sogratefult
o
beabl et oraiseher.Somest epfather'
saret
r ashsoI
woul dn'thavebeenateasewi t
hheri nanot
her
man' scar e,especi
all
yar udebast ardli
keher
stepfather.I'm sor
ryI'
m maki ngthisaboutme, "he
l
ookeddown.

Hl
ubi:"
It
'sokayIunder
stand.Sodoyoust
il
lwant
t
hatdateaft
eral
lofwhatItoldyou?
"

Yanda:"Eveni
fget
ti
ngi nt
oprosti
tut
ionwasyour
choice,
Iwouldst
il
lhavesaidIwantt ogett
oknow
you.Ihavenori
ghttojudgeyourpastespeci
all
y
onewher eyouwer
eavi ct
im,"

Hlubi
:"Whataboutt
hef
actt
hatI
'
vesl
eptwi
thal
ot
ofmen? "

Yanda:het
ookadeepbr
eat
h"Honest
lyI
'
m mor
e
concernedabouthowitaffectedyoument al
ly.I
thi
nkyouf eart
hatI'
m concernedabouthowi t
affect
edyouphysical
lyandt houghIdohopenonof
thosemenhur tyouphysi
callypermanently,
I'
m
mor eworri
edaboutthepsychologicalef
fect
sof
suchanexper i
ence,
"

Hlubi:"
I'
m attendingtherapysoI '
m dealingwiththat
asbestIcan.Yanda, Idon'tgoaroundt ell
ingpeople
thi
s.Onl ymyf amilyknowst hisaboutmyl i
feand
honestlyIwast el
lingyousot hatyoucoul dgetof f
mycaseyetyou' r
est i
llhere.I
'
m stil
lnotsur ewhy
butI'm wil
li
ngt ogettoknowyoubet tertoo,"we
smiled.

Yanda:"Thankyouandt hat'
sallI
'
m asking.I'
m
physi
callyatt
ractedt oyoubecauseyouar ea
beauti
fulwomanbutI '
m notdoingthi
stogetl aidat
theendoft henight.Icanseeyou' renotthattypeof
woman.I nthepastyes, becauseyouwer eforced
butIhaveaf eel
ingt hatyou'renotacti
nghar dtoget,
youar
ehar
dtoget
,"Il
aughed.

Hl
ubi
:"Yeah,
yeah,
"

Mbuzo:"Sotellmehowyougott onameyour sel

f,
Mahlubandil
e.I'
m guessi
ngyouraHlubi
,"Inodded.
It
oldhim howmynamecameabout ."Andyou
wantedmet onotgettoknowyouwhenyou' resuch
aninter
esti
ngperson?"

Wesatandspokef oralongwhile.I
nfactwet al
ked
untili
twastimefortherest
auranttoclose.We
foundLiyemaandLakhiwedanci ng,morelike
naughtydancingbecausehishandswer eallover
her.Theystoppedwhenwewal kedin.

Hl
ubi
:"Youguysshoul
dhavetol
dmeyou'
rer
eady
t
ogo.Sorr
yImadeyouwait,
"
Li
yema:"I
t'
sokayIwant
edt
ost
ay,
"hel
ookedat
Yanda.

Yanda:"Iwasgoi
ngtomakesureshegetshome
safel
y.Ineedt
ogetgoi
ng.Lakhi
we,congr
atul
ati
ons
onceagain,
"

Lakhi
we:"
Thankyou.Hopef
ull
ywewi
llseeyouon
ourweddi
ngdayinafewmonthst
oo,
"shesmiled.

Yanda:" I
'
lleagerl
yawaitmyi
nvi
tati
on,
thankyou,
"
hesaidwhi lelooki
ngatmeandLiyemaclear
edhis
throat
."Letmegetgoing.Wewil
lseeeachother
around,"hesmi l
ed.

Lakhi
we:"
Def
ini
tel
y,
"shesoundedsosur
e.

Li
yemawalkedYandaoutandsaidhe'
llbr
ingthe
carcl
oserf
orus.Ibl
ushedandLakhi
wewant edto
hearever
ythi
ngbeforeLiyemaret
urnedandshe
wasmor eexci
tedthanIam.Am Iexcited?He
makesmef eelatease.I
'
m 38yearsoldandI'
ve
neverhadaboyfri
endbef or
e.Whatdoesoneeven
dowithaboyfri
end?

Lakhi
we:"Wi
llyoui
nvi
tehi
mtot
heweddi
ngasyour
part
ner?
"

Hl
ubi
:"Andbemai
dofhonorwhen?
,"shel
aughed.

Lakhiwe:"
MaybeLiyemami ghtmakehi
ma
groomsmanshouldhebecomeourbr ot
heri
nlaw,
"
shelaughedandIblushed.

Thiswomant hough.I
t'
stooearl
ytobethinki
ng
aboutsuch.Ist
il
ldon'
ttr
ustthathehasaccepted
mypastthough.Whysoeasily?Imeanmostmen
goonabouthowt heywantwomenwhohavesl ept
wit
hlessthantenmenandmyamounti sway
abovet hatandheknowsi t.Couldlover eall
ymake
peopleover l
ookcer t
aint hings.Idon' tevenknowof
he'sinl ovewi t
hme.Igavehi m mynumberso
clearl
yImustwantmor eoratl eastf i
ndoutwhathe
want sf rom me.Howhecr iedwhenIt ol
dhi m about
myst or ybecausehet houghtofhi sdaught erletme
knowt hathi sdaught eri shi severyt
hing.Ever ything
elsefollowsaf terherandIadmi rehi mfori t.I
'
ve
neverbeenl uckyt ohaveaf at
her,notonel i
kehi m
andLi yemabutt oknowt herearechi ldr
enwhodo
makesmyhear twar m.Ineverhadaf at
hert oshow
mehowIshoul dbet reatedbyamanbutmy
brothershavedef initelyst eppedupandshowedme
I'
m speci al
.Iwenthomewi thLakhiweandIknow
thereisnospaceatt heirhousebutI '
l
levensl eepi n
thekitchen.I '
m stilltooexci t
edtosl eepsoshewi ll
havet ot akeouti cecr eam andsi twi t
hme.When
wear rivedhomet heywentt ocheckont heir
childr
enandsuddenl yLakhi wewast oot i
redto
wat chTVwi thme, mar r
iedpeopl ethough.Iwentt o
getapi llowandabl anketandmademysel f
comf ortablewhi l
ewat chingTVandeat i
ngyogur t.
Thisismysecondhome.Myphonebeepedandi t's
from Yanda.If i
rsthi dmyf acei nmypi l
lowand
blushedbef oreopeni ngt hemessage.Heaskedi f
I'
m homesaf e.Iblushedevenmor ebef orer eplyi
ng
tot ellhimI '
m homesaf e.Hecal l
edandmyhear t
near lybeatoutofmychest .Iranupst airst o
Lakhi we' sroom butt urnedar oundhal fwaybecause
Iknewt heywer einnomoodt obedi stur bed.I
l
iteral l
yshookmysel ftonor mal ,breathedand
answer ed.Whyam Ibehavi ngsochi l
dishl y?Iwas
blushi ngal lthroughoutt hatphonecal landl etouta
l
ittl
escr eam af terIendedt hecal l.Idon' tknowwhat
l
ovei sbutIknowt hismanmakesmel osemy
sani ty.Iendedupput ti
ngt heyogur tint he
mi crowaveonl ytor ealizewhenIwasaboutt o
swi tchitont hatI'm notsupposedt odot hat .I
openedt hef r
idget ocoolmysel f.Whatt hehel lis
goingon?IendedupGoogl ingsignsofbei ngin
l
ovebutst oppedwhi let hesi t
ewasl oadi ng.I '
m
goingcr azy.I t
'stheonl yexpl anation.DoIeven
wantamanwi t
hachi ld?Ideci dedt owat chmovi es
andever yt
hingt hatwasonhadr omancei ni t
.I
thinkl oveischasi ngme.Shoul dIgi veitachance?I
senthi m at exttosayI '
dl ovet ogoonadat ewith
him andher epli
edwi t
hinsecondswi thasmi ley
face.Whathappenedt obeinghar dtoget ?Iasked
mysel f.If
eell i
kealovest r
uckt eenandI '
m sur emy
chil
dishexci tementwillt
ur nhim offbutIcan' thelp
i
t.I'
veneverbeenonadat e,notar ealoneanyway
yethe'salreadyi nvi
tedtomyf amilyweddi ng.I
decidedt okeepmymi ndbusywi t
ht heweddi ng
andIwonderwhatdat ethecoupl edecidedon.I t
's
beenyear soft alki
ngabouti tsoI '
m gladwe' llbe
planningnow.I '
veneverbeent oaweddi ng, l
et
alonebesoi nvolvedinonebecauseI '
l
lbet heMai d
ofhonor .Ithasbeenagr eatcoupl eofyear s.I'm
l
ovedsomuchandIhopet heynowknowt hatIl ove
them too.

PS:Near
ingt
heend,
guys
[
03/
28,
17:
36]Lynne:SI
XTYFOUR

WEDDI
NGDAY
Aftermont hsofpl anning,wel lt
echni callyyears
LakhiweandLi yema'sweddi ngdayhasf inal
ly
come.Theyhadnotseeneachot hersince
yester
daymor ningwhi chi sdr i
vingbot hoft hem
i
nsane.Liyemast oodonf rontoft hemi r r
orwhile
putti
ngcuf fl
inkson.Hel ookedatLungiwhowas
busyput t
ingonhi sshoesandcoul dnothaveasked
forabetterbestman.Per hapsaf ewyear sagoVusi
wouldhavebeent heonet otakeont her olebuthe
andVusil i
vet wodi ff
erentl i
vesnow.The
photographer '
sassistantknockedandl ethimself
on.Hesai dhewant edt oaskmygr oomsmanaf ew
questi
onsaboutt hecoupl e.Hef i
r stwentLungi l
e.

Lungile:"Theygothi t
chedwi thoutthefamil
yfive
yearsagowhi chmademer eali
zethattheywer e
togetherbecauset heychoset onotbecausethey
hadt o.Theyar ebeautifulpeopleandmyi nspirat
ion.
Iknowt heywillonlygettoseet hi
svideoonce
edit
ingandsuchi sdonebutIj ustwanttotel
lthe
beautifulcouplethatIlovethem.Thankyouf or
makingmeyoursi xthchildwhenIgetabi toutof
hand,
"Lungi
'
slastwordsl
eftever
yonel
aughi
ng.
Thecameragottur
nedtoLwasiwhoisLi
yema's
groomsman.

Lwazi:"Iwoul dfi
rstjustliketothankbhut iLiyema
formaki ngmeapar tofhisteam ont hisspecialday.
I'
veneverbeenagr oomsmanandmyf irstbeingfor
myol derbr ot
hermakest heexper i
encesweet er
.I
agreewi thbhutLungi l
etheyarebeaut i
fulpeople
i
nsideandout .Ij
ustwi shthem alotofhappi ness
andmor elove.Sisiyouar emyher o,"hesmi led
whilepoi nt
ingatthecamer a.Thecamer amanwent
onhiskneest ofi
lmt hequads.Heaskedwhatt hey
wantt osayt otheirmot herandf at
her .

Bukhosi
:"ButTat
aisstandi
ngri
ghtther
e.Why
shoul
dIspeakont hecamerawhenIcangoto
him?,
"heaskedandeveryonel
aughed.

Li
yema:"I
t'
sforMamaandItowatchinafew
weeks,
boy.Pret
endI
'
m nother
e,"hesmi
led.
Bubel
e,"
Iwanttotellt
hem t
hatIlovethem andthey
shoul
dhaveani ceweddingday.Andt heyshoul
d
al
lowust oeatalotofsweetst
ufftoday,"

Lungi
:"Yes,
boyyout
akeadvant
ageoft
heday,
"
theyl
aughed.

Bandi l
e:"
Ican'twaittoseeMama.Tat asaysshe
willbewearingabi gwhitedress.Tataalways
wear ssuit
ssonot hingspecialaboutthatbutMama
neverwear sabigwhi tedresssoIwantt oseeher,"
everyonelaughed."Ialsowannat el
lthem tohavea
niceweddingdayandshar et
hecakewesawwi t
h
us,"helaughedsof t
ly.

Banele:"Uhm Iwannatel
lMamaandTatathatthey
arecool.Theyarenicepar
ent
swholoveus,"he
saidbeforeshyi
ngawayf r
om t
hecamera.The
focuswast henonthegroom.
Li
yema:" Ourf i
rstweddi ngsti
llbeat
sanyot herwe
areyettohave.I twasjustus, ourwitnessand
off
icial
.Therewasnopr essur
et obeext r
asot hat
dayi sst
illt
hebestf orme.Todaywear ecel
ebr at
ing
withfamilyandt hatwillmaket hedayspecial.Baby,
Il
oveyousomuch.Ican' twaittomakeyoumywi fe
again.Mayf if
tymor eyear sbeaddedt oouruni on.I
can'twaittoseeyou, "

Thel i
ttl
emoment softhegr oom andhi steam
getti
ngdr essedgotcapt ur
edper fectly.Therewer e
nervesbutmost l
yexcitement .Whent hegentl
emen
wereal ldressedintheirgr
eysui t
st heywent
outsidethebeaut i
fulestat
et ocapturet hemoment .
Li
yemal ookedathi sboysandwashappyt hatthey
couldbeapar tofhisteam.Get ti
ngt hem all
partnerswasast rugglebutt heli
ttl
egi r
lsatchurch
werer eadyt ohel
p.

Meanwhi
leont
heot
hersi
deoft
heest
ateLakhi
we
washavinghermakeupdonewhi l
eherbridalpar
ty
gotreadyt oo.Hlubiwasbeyondher sel
fwith
exci
tementandDudumanagedt ofl
youttobea
bri
desmai d.Lakhiwehasbeenner vousabouther
weddingdayt houghshemar r
iedtheloveofherli
fe
almostfi
veyear sago.Thecamerateam alsodida
miniint
erviewwi ththebri
deandhert eam.

Hlubi
:"Ihavesomucht osayaboutt heset wo
people.Iwoul dn'thavebeenher etodayhadt hey
notplayedt heirpartinmyl if
e.SoKhi -
KhiandLee,
youguysar esuperhumansandwel ookupt ot he
twoofyoumor et hanyour eal
ize.Youmadesome
ofusgi veloveachancebecauseweseehowyou
twoloveeachot her .Conti
nuetospr eadl oveand
mayi tcomebackt oyout enti
mesmor e.Iloveyou,"
shesmi ledandbl ewaki ssint
ot hecamer a.The
l
adyt ri
edtomakeDuduspeakbutshewast ooshy.

Lakhiwe:"
It
'sokay.Iknowthatshewishesusallt
he
best.Ij
ustwanttosayt oLi
yemathatIloveyouso
much.We' vedonethi
sbeforebutthi
sti
meweonl y
haveabi ggeraudi
ence.Il
ovewhatwe'vebui
ltso
far,
baby.Ican'twai
ttoseewhatmor ewecando
together
,"shesmil
edandblewkisses.

Thedesi gnergotLakhi weintoherof fshoul derand

l
owbackweddi nggown.Shehasbeengr owingher
hairandt hehai rstyli
stst yl
editbeaut i
full
yusi ng
afrot exturedext ensions.Whenshewal kedoutt he
l
adi escr iedandt hebr idegotemot ionaltoo.They
shar edagr ouphugbef oregoingouti ntot he
beaut i
fuldayandt akingpr e-weddingpi ctures.The
bride'sf athercoul dn'tholdbackhi stear swhenhe
sawhi sdaught er.Hewi shedhermot herwast here
towi tnessi tallbuthewassur eshewast herei n
spirit.Itwast imet ogot othechapel .Theboysal l
rant oLakhi wewhent heysawherbutt heiraunt
stoppedt hem t ofirstinspectifthei
rhandswer e
clean.Oncet heyhadt hegoaheadt heyal lhugged
her.
Lakhi
we:"Lookatyoufour.Youguysarelooki
ngso
handsome,"sheki
ssedtheirf
oreheads.

Bubel
e:"Tat
ahasbeenwait
ingf
oryouforsol
ong.
Letusgoinsi
de,
"hetookhi
smotherbyhandand
theyl
aughed.

Bukhosi
:"Hel
ooksl
ikehei
sgoi
ngt
ocr
y,"t
hey
l
aughed.

Hlubi
:"Heythat'
smybr ot
herbutnowI
'
m cur
ioust
o
seehim,"shelaughed.

Lakhiwe:"Comel etusst andasr ehearsedsoIwon't

keepTatawai t
inganyl onger.Banelestophitt
ing
Bubeleont heheadandl ookingaway.Thi sisnot
theti
mef orthi
s.St andasweshowedyoupl ease,
"
shesaidinast ernvoi ce.Thechildrenfi
nall
y
behavedandt ookt heirplaceswithapar t
nerby
thei
rside.Lakhiwedi dn'tl
ikethattheyweretobea
partofthegr
oomsmenbecausesheknewhow
naughtyherboyscoul
dgetbutt
heyseemedt
obe
behaving.

Hlubi:"Butmymanknowshowt omakepeopl el
ook
good.Justlookhowcutetheboyslook.These
fuckersaresosmall
butalreadyowntail
ormade
suit
s? ,
"shesai
dtohersi
sterandtheylaughed.

Lakhi
we:"
It
'sal
lyourbr
othersodon'
tlookatme,
"

Hlubi:"
Butit
'sgoodbecausemymangotsome
business,
"shesmiled.

Lakhi
we:"List
ent
oyou" mymant hi
s,mymant hat
"
shesmiledandHlubistuckhert
ongueout.Thebest
fr
iendsharedahugbefor ei
twasHlubi'
stur
nto
makeherwaydownt heaisl
e.
Lakhiwechosenott ohaveavei lbecausei t
wouldn'thavemat chedherdr ess.Herdr esshada
l
ongt railsot hatwasvei lenoughf orher.Pl anni ng
theweddi ngwasnoteasybecauseever yf ami ly
memberwant edtohavei nput.It'struewhent hey
saytheweddi ngdayi sf orthef ami lynotsomuch
thecoupl e.Af termont hsoff i
ghtsoncol our s,venue
andal lelseever ythi
ngf inallycamet ogether .
Liyemaspental otwhi chwasapr oblem for
Lakhiweatf irstbutsher ealizedhowi mpor tant
sharingt hisdaywi t
ht heirfami l
ywas.Lakhi wehel d
herfather 'sarm andt ookadeepbr eathbef oret hey
stoodatt heent r
anceoft hedoor .Shewai tedf orthe
musi ctochanget othesongnei thershenorLi yema
we'resur eof .Thesoundt rackst artedbuti tisnot
thechosensong.I t'
ssupposedt obeEndl essl ove
byLut herVandr oss.JustwhenLakhi wewas
l
ookingatherf atherconf usedshehear dLi yema' s
voicef r
om i nside.

Li
yema:"NdiyababonabonkekodwaDali
nguwe.I
wonderyi
ntoninaleendenzandicul
enguwe.
Nd’zakubamb’ egxenimi hl
ayonkeyokuphi lakwami .
Ndizokukhut hazanob’ i
zintoSezibhek’
ecal eni.
Uml i
nganingowaninaxayengasoz’
Akuphol i
s’amanxeba, mhmm.Nt ombindi yabulel
a
zang’i
ndi shiy’Enyanyeni ,ehehnt omb’ entle
Ndzabal i
dwal alakhokudekuval we.
Ndyakut hembi sant ombe’entl
eNdzabal idwalalakho
kunaphakadev( uMamTshawe) .Ndzakubaboni sa
MamTshawe.Ndi zakuthandakunaphakade.
Ndiyababonabonkekodwa.Dal inguwewonder
yi
ntoninal eendenza.Ndi culenguwe,"Li yemasang
hisownver sionofNt ando's"Dali
"whilehewat ched
hisbri
dewal kdownt heaisleintear
st owar dshim.
Hecoul dn'tgoonbecausehi sownt earsofj oyfell
downhi scheekwhenhel ookedather .

Hal fofthechapelwasi ntearswi t

ht hecouple.
WhenLakhi wefinal
lyr
eachedt hedashi nggroom
shewr appedherar msaroundhi swaistwhilehe
heldherf aceinhishands.Theyshar edaki sseven
beforether ever
andcouldtellthem to.Noonebr oke
thekissupbysi ngi
ngoranyt hi
nglikethat.Theonly
soundcomi ngf r
om t heguest sweresoft
admi r
ati
ons.Iguessnoonemi ndedthatthey
sharedaki ssbef oret heceremonyevenst ar
ted
becauset heirunionwasbl essedyearsago.They
alr
eadyst oodbef oret heirgeuestsashusbandand
wife.Theybr oket heki ssandLiyemat hankedhis
fat
herinl awf orbringinghi swifetohim.Thet wo
walkedtot hef r
ontoft hechapeltostandinf r
ontof
thereverand.

Rev:"Wellaf
tert
hatkisswemightaswelljustgo
outtotherecept
ioni
stareaanddance,
"everyone
l
aughed.

Ther everandstartedtheceremonyandt hetwogot

l
ostineachot her'
seyes.Af ewjokeweremadeby
thereverandandt heguestswereinsti
tches.The
coupleexchangedvowsandr ingswereputon.
Theywor et heringsfrom Jakeallt
heseyearsbut
thi
stimet heychoset heirownr i
ngs.Theyinvi
ted
Jaket oowhohasmetsomeonenewandt hey
seemedi nlove.Ther ever andcal l
edt heirchildrento
thef r
ontsohecoul dbl esst hem asaf ami l
y.The
boysst oodandcamet ot hef ront .Lakhiwet ook
Amahl ewhoi sst il
lnotl egal lyt heir
sandhel dher .
Theycl osedt heireyeswhi l
et her everandpr ayed
fortheirmar r
iaget owithst andanyst or msandf or
theirfami l
yt okeepUni tedandst r
ong.Thechi l
dr en
wentt osi tandt hecoupl ecoul df i
nallylookand
smi l
eateachot heragai n.Ther everandpr onounced
them husbandandwi feagai nandt heyseal edt heir
unionwi t
haki ssonceagai n,thi sti
met heirloved
oneswer ewi tness.Thecoupl emadet heirwayout
weret heguest sshower edt hem wi thwhi t
er ose
petalsf orgoodl uck.Theot herguest swentt oget
somedr i
nkswhi l
et hef ami lyandcl osef ri
endst ook
pictureswi tht hecoupl e.Thef ami l
ylookedonas
thecoupl et ookpi ctur
esal one.Theycoul dfeelt he
l
ovet het woshar edf r
om ami leaway.Soont he
chil
dr enjoinedi nandi tbecamef unyetchaot ic.
Onceever yonehadasnapwi thMrAndMr s
Elephantt heymadet heirwayt ot her eceptionar ea
wher eapar tyisaboutt obegi n.TheMCi nt r
oduced
thecoupl eandt heyofcour sehadt ohaveast ep.
WhatisanAf r
icanweddingwithoutastep?When
thedanci
ngandexcitementwasoverandever yone
wasseatedthefoodgotserved.Theeldersmade
speechesasthoughtheyspoket onewlywedsbut
theyhadsomeexperienceinthisthi
ngcall
ed
marri
age.

Li
yema:"
Ist
il
lthi
nkourf
ir
stwasgr
eat
,"hesmi
ledat
hi
swif
e.

Lakhi
we:"Ri
ght?Weonlyhadicecr
eam af
ter
war
ds.
Notthi
sfuss,
"theyl
aughed.

Liyema:"Anditwast hefi
rstti
meIgott oseeallof
youphysicall
yandl oveyou.I'
m soexcit
edabout
whatwe'lldolateronasifit
'sourfi
rstwedding
night,
"hekissedhiswife.

Lakhiwe:"
Maybeit'
sbecauseit
'sbeenweekssince
we'vebeentoget
herbecausesomeonethoughtit
's
agoodideal
eadi
ngupt
otoday,
"shel
ookedather
husband.

Li
yema:" It
hinkIwatchtoomuchmovies.Ihated
notbeingwithyou.Icannotwai
ttot
aket hatdress
off
,"t
heykissed

Lakhi
we:"
,Iwishwecouldgosomeplaceprivat
edo
you'
ddoitr
ightnow,
"shelookedatherhubby.

Liyema:"
No, babywhenI '
mturnedont hetenti
nmy
pantswil
lembar rassme.Sono,Liyemat hi
nknon
sexualt
hings,"hesaidandhi
swi f
el aughed.

Lakhi
we:"
I'
m al
readywett
hough,
"shet
eased.

Liyema:"LakhiweElephant
,no"hesai
dwithasmile.
"Damn, baby.Don'
tmakemei magi
nethatnotnow
please,
"theybothlaughed.
Lakhi
we:"
Iloveyou,
"sheki
ssedhi
m.

Li
yema:"
Iloveyou,
"

Lakhi
we:"
AndthesingingwhenIwal keddownt
he
ai
slewasthebestpar
toftoday.Thankyou,"

Li
yema:"
I'
llsi
ngf
oryouunt
ilmyvoi
cenol
onger
comesout
,"hesmil
ed.

Theywentt oj ointhei
rfami l
yandf r
iendsont he
dancef l
oor .Lakhiwel ookedoveratHl ubiand
Yandawhol ookedhappy.Shepr ayedt hatYanda
wouldpr otectHl ubi'
shear t
.Sheact stoughjustli
ke
Liyemabutdeepdownt heyaresoft,Lungitoo.
Lakhiwel ookedatherhusbandwhowasnear l
yon
thefloorget t
ingdownandl aughed.Theywer e
happyandsur roundedbyl ovedoneswhower e
theretocelebr atethem andi twarmedt hebr i
de'
s
hear t
.Hour swentbyandt hecoupl ethankedt heir
guest sf orcomi ngbef oret heyl efttospendt he
nightatahot elforpr ivacy.Theki dswenthome
wi t
ht heirgrandmot her sbecauset heyf ellasleep.
Thecoupl esai dgoodbyet ot heirguest sand
thankedt hem agai nbef oreleavi ngt hem.Some
guest sliket heuncl e'sst ayedbehi ndf ort heopen
barsi ncet heycl aimi tcan' tgot owast ebecausei t'
s
paidf or.Liyemaopenedt hedoorf orhi swi feand
goti nthecarhi msel f
.Thet wocoul dn'thel pbut
stealkisseswhi l
edr i
vent ot hehot el.Liyema
want edt or i
pt hedr essof fLakhi we'sbodysobadl y
buthecoul dn' t
.Theyf inallyar ri
vedi nthei rsuite
andt hei rl
ipsmethungr il
ybef oretheyevencl osed
thedoorbehi ndt hem.HeknewLakhi wewasnot
wear ingabr abecauseherdr esshadnost rapsand
hewant edt oki ssherwar m br eastssobadl y.He
pulledt hezi poft her edr essdownandwat chedit
falltothef loor.Hef ir
stj ustt ooki nt hebeaut yin
frontofhi m bef or ehet ouchedhermor e.Lakhi we
wat chedasherhusbandl ookedatherl ikeshewas
magi c.Heunbut tonedhi sshi rttoreveal hisbare
chestandshecoul df eelt hewar mt hbet weenher
l
egsi ntensen.Thi st imet heirweddi ngni ghtwas
l
esspr essur ed.Shedi dn'thavet owonderi fhe'l
l
l
ovecer tainpar t
sofherbodyandhat esome.He' s
beenmaki nglovet oherf oryear s.Heknewwhi ch
spotstogi veextraat tenti
ont obecauseheknew
thosewer ehersof tspot s.Thosespot sthatwhen
hishandst ouchedshemel ted.Li yemawal ked
closertoherandhel ovedt hatnonoft hem wer e
nervoust oo.Lakhi weknewhel ovesi twhenshe
plantstracesofmoi stkissedonhi sneck.Shet oo
knewhi sbodywel l
.Hepi ckedherupandputheron
thebed.Hewant edt oski pf or
epl aybuthehadt o
seewhatshewant edf i
rst
.Theyki ssedpassi onatel
y
andt heirmout hsshowedl ovet oot herpar t
soft heir
bodiesbutnei thercoul dtakeitanymor e.Liyema
sli
dintohermoi stf oldsandshesai dhi snameout
ofpleasur easshef elthi m unit
ewi t
hher .Itwasnot
alongr oundbuti tleftthem bot hbr eathingheavi l
y
andsat isf
ied.Hel ookedatherandshewascr ying.

Li
yema:"Lal
a,what
'swrong?
,"heaskedbutshej
ust
shookherheadqui
ckl
y."WasItoorough,
?"Li
yema
st
art
edt
obeconcer
ned

Lakhiwe:"Ijustl
oveyou,Liyema.Idon'
tknowwhat
Ididtodeser vethi
sli
fewit
hyou.Ijustl
ovebeing
withyouinever yway.I'
m sorryf
orcryi
ngagainl
ike
thefi
rstti
me.Whoevencr iesduri
ngsex?"she
wipedhert earsoff
.

Li
yema:"
Mywi fedoes,
"theybothl
aughedsof
tl
y."I
l
oveyoutoo.Il
ovebeingwithyoui
neverywaytoo,
"
heki
ssedher.

Theyheldeachot herwhi letheyspokeaboutt he

highl
ight
softheirweddi ngday.Liyemawentt oget
awar mtowelforher.Hehadgot tenusedt otheno
condom thi
ngsyear sago.Theyki ssedandt hings
gotheatedonceagai n.Thi sti
meitwasnotsl ow
l
ovemaki ng.Theywer er oughandexploredmor e.
Theybothstil
lhopedt obeabl et
oadoptAmahl e
butLiyemawishedhi swi fecouldgetpregnant .
Especial
lynowthattheycanconcei venatural
lybut
hewi l
lnotbr ingituponl ytomakeherf eelbad.He
thoughtheonl ywant edtwoki dsgr
owingupbut
nowt hattheyhavef ive,heknowsheisamanwho
wouldl oveatl eastsix.Theylovedoneanot herand
thoughst ormswi l
lcomet heirwayandshaket hei
r
mar r
iaget heyhopet obestrongenought ofight
whateverevi lteststhem.

Hl
ubi

Fivemont hsandt hr
eedays.That '
showl ongYanda
andIhavebeeni narelati
onship.I'
vemethi s
beautif
uldaught erandshei sthesweet estlit
tl
e
personI'veevermet .Mynephewsar esweett oobut
theyaremonst erssomet imesItellyou.Nandi pha
willbeturningeleventhismont handshei ssmart.I
fi
ndmysel ftal
kingaboutherwi thmyf ri
endsat
schoolandwi t
hmyf ami l
y.Myf amilyinsistedon
meet i
ngYandabutnotasLi yema'scl i
entbutasmy
boyfri
end.Theyaskedhi m mil
li
onsofquest ions
andZol amadesomef riendl
ythreatsshoul dhehur t
me.Thecr eepyt hingi sthatIknowshe' lldoasshe
saidshewoul dshoul dgehur tme.Mymot herisan
oceanofsecr ets.Theweddi ngwasever ythi
ngI
i
magi nedandmor e.Toseel oveliket hathasbeen
thebestf eeli
ngever .YandaandIar etakingitaday
atat i
me.Nandi phai sathergr andmot her'sforthe
weekendsi nceherdadhasbeenatt heweddi ng.He
l
ookedsohandsomei nanavybl uesui t.Wedanced
andIf el
tlikeIwasapar tofaf air
yt ail
.Itoldhim
somet hingIcoul dseeshockedhi m.It oldhimI
wantt ogohomewi thhi m,tohi splace.Heaskedi f
I'
m sureami ll
iont imesandIhadt osayyesa
mi l
li
ontimes.Zol awasnothappybecauseI '
ve
neversleptoutunl essI '
m atLi yema' sorLungi '
s
placebutneverwher etherei snof ami l
yf orsuppor t
.
I'
m nervousbutIf eel ready.Wehaven' thadsex, nor
cuddled.Justki ssedandhugged.Idon' tknowi fI
wantt ohavesexwi thhi mt onightbutIdowantt o
beinhi sarms.Idi dhowevergetcondomsso
maybeapar tofmewant sust ohavesex.Wewer e
bothner vousonourway.Onecoul dheari ti
nt he
soundofourvoi ces.Wear rivedathi shouseand
I'
m putti
ngal otoft rustinthi sman.Ihopehewon' t
tryanyt hingbutI 'vegotmyt aizzerandpepper
spr ay.Hel i
vesi nanapar t
ment ,hei sr enting.Hei s
alsot hesol ebreadwi nnertohi sf ami l
ysohekeeps
apol ogizingf ornotgi vingmet hel ifemyf amilycan
butIr eallyadmi ret hathel ooksaf terhi sf amily.In
thepastf ewmont hshehassai dt he" L"wor daf ew
ti
mesbutIhaven' t.Heopenedt hedoorandhi s
placei scl ean.It'sat wobedr oom f l
atf orhi msel f
andhi schi l
d.Hei snotr i
chbuthei snotpoorei ther.
Ibel i
evehi sbusi nesswi l
lgrowandbecomean
i
nt ernationalbr and.Hewasi ncor por atef oryears
andonl ywentbackt opur suehi spassi onaf ter
year sincor poratesoi t'
sstil
l earlydaysf orhis
brand.Localcel ebr i
ti
eshavewor nhi scl othesaf ew
ti
mes.IknowbecauseIsavedt hepi cturesoft hose
celebsi nmyman' sclothesonmyphonebecause
I'
m sopr oudofhi m.Li yemaandhi st eam l ooked
greatbecauseofhi m.Webot hawkwar dl
ysati nthe
l
ounge.It hinkhewant edmet olead.Iaskedt ogo
freshenupsi ncei t'sbeenal ongday.Hegavemea
fresht owelandIwentt oshower .Ipackedan
over nightbagt oo.WhenIf inishedheusedt he
bat hroom.Whatshoul dIdowhenhecomesout ?
Whydi dIevenaskt ospendtheni ghtifI'
llmake
thi
ngsawkwar dforbothofus? .Hest eppedoutt he
bathroom withonlyatowelwrappedar oundhi s
l
owerbody.Hekeepshi sbodyi nshapef oramani n
hisfort
ies.Isatonthecouchwi thmypaj amason
waiti
ngf orhimtocomef rom ther oom.Hecame
outwi t
honlyhisunderwearon.If el
tmysel fgethot
fl
ashes.Ilookedathimf oralongwhi le.Hecaught
mest ati
ng.

Yanda:"
Am Imaki
ngyouuncomf
ort
abl
e?"he
l
ookedconcer
ned.

Hl
ubi:"No,youhotman,"Iblurtedout
."I
'
m sor
ryI
j
usttendtothinkoutl
oud,"Ilookeddownandhe
l
aughed.

Yanda:"Idon'tmind,baby,
"hesmi l
edandcame
cl
osertokissmyf or
ehead.ItwassweetbutI
wantedhislipsonmi nesoIkissedhim.Iti
sour
fi
rstpassi
onat eki
ssbuthest oppedit
."Hl
ubi,
Ilove
thisbuti
t'
sal i
ttl
etort
ureformebecausemybody
i
ski ndabetr
ayingmeal readyandIdon'twantto
freakyouout.I'
m exci
tedt hatyouwanttospend
thenightbutIdidn'
tpreparemyselfforanythi
ng
sexualoutofrespectforyoubutsuchki ssesj
ust
takemet her
e,"hesaidsof tl
yandIsmiled.

Hl
ubi:"
Iwantt
otakei
tther
e,"Isai
dqui
ckl
y.He
l
ookedatme.

Yanda:"
Sex,
toni
ght
,now?
"Hel
ookedatmeandI
nodded.

Hlubi:"I
fyouwantt o.Maybeyoudon'tandifsoI'
ll
understand.Youknowwhatj ustscr
ewt hatfor
getI
saidanything,
"IbecamedefensivebecauseIfear
ed
hisreject
ion.

Yanda:"
I'
dlovet
obutyouneedt
obesur
e.Idon'
t
havecondomsthoughso.
..
"
Hlubi
:"Ihavesome.Notsurei
fit'
sthebrandyou'
d
usual
lyusebutIboughttwodif
ferentbr
andsjusti
n
case,
"Isaidwhil
ebreat
hingheavi
ly.

Yanda:"
Nana, br
eat
h,"heheldmycheekandIt ook
adeepbreath."I
'
m surethebrandsyouchoseare
okaybutareyousure?"Inoddedquickl
y.

Hecl osedthegapbet weenusandmyhear ti

s
aboutt ocomeoutofmymout h,atleastitfel
tlikei
t.
Ourl i
psmetonceagai nbuthewaskeepi ngthings
i
nnocent .Mymi ndwasbl ankbecauseIwasj ustin
themoment .I'
m aboutt
ohavesexwi thaboyf r
iend
forthefir
sttimeinmyent ir
el i
fethoughI '
m no
virgi
n.Hepi ckedmeupf rom thecouchandwal ked
tohisbedroom.Wewer elookingateachot herall
thewayunt ilheputmeonhi sbed.Mychestwas
movi ngupanddowni ndi
catinghowner vousIam.
Hegotont opofmeandbet weenmyt highsandwe
kissed.Icouldfeelhi
m growhar derbetweenmy
thi
ghs.I tturnedmeonsomuch.Hesmel lssogood
andf eelssowar m.Hel ookedatmeandsl owl y
l
iftedmyt opupbutpausedwhenhehadt or eveal
myboobst olookatme.Inoddedt otellhimI 'm st i
ll
okay.Myt opwasof fandmyni ppl
esgotabi ter ect,
Ihatehowbi gt heyaresomet imes.Thismanki ssed
andcar essedeachpar tofmyupperbody.I '
m
experiencedatt hi
sbutIdi dn'tknowwhatt odowi t
h
mysel fbecauseIdon' twantt ogivehim pr ost i
tut e
sex.Iwantt ogi vehim gi rlfr
iendsexbutI 'm notsur e
howt hati sdoneori ftheyar eevendi f
ferent .Soon
wewer ebot hnakedandIdeci dedtodosomet hing
andnotl ayl i
keadeadf ish.SoIcar essedhi sbody
withmyhandswhi l
eki ssingever ypartofhi mI
could.Il ovedhowgent leandsl owhewasbecause
hekeptchecki ngifI'
m st i
llokaywithever ything.I
gavehi mt hecondomsandhechoset heonehe
preferredt ouse.Hi shandswer eshakingsoIhel d
them andaskedhi m what 'swr ong.Apar tofme
fearedt hathei sthi
nkingaboutmypast .

Yanda:"
I'
m sor
ry,
sthandwaSam.I
'
mjustner
vous.I
wantthistobeperfectforyoubecauseIdon'twant
anythi
ngIdot ocausesomef l
ashbacksofyour
trauma,
"hesaidwhi l
elookingatme.Isthi
sman
fuckenkiddi
ngme?Ial mostcried.

Hlubi
:"I
'
m st
il
lgood.Thankyouf
orbei
nga
gentl
eman,
"Iki
ssedhim.Ithi
nkIl
ovehi
mtoo.

Weki ssedt hener vesof fandcont inued.Whent he

protectionwasonheposi t
ionedhi mselfbetween
myl egsandl ookedatme.It ookhisdickmysel f
anddi rectedi tt
owher eIwant edittobe.Ihaven't
donet hisi nyearsbutI '
m novi rgi
nsoever yt
hing
shouldgosmoot hly.Ilovehi m nakedasmuchasI
dowhenhei sinthosesui tsofhis.Ifelthim move
atasl owr hythm andImethi sthrusts.Apartofme
worriedi fhewasenj oyingit.Whati sonhi smind?.I
decidedt ol etgoandenj oywhenhel etoutsoft
groans.Il ovedt hemomentsomuch.Idi dn'
twant
anyofi tt oend.Hi st hrustsbecamequi ckerandit
drovemecr azy.Wemadeeyecont actwhi l
ewe
wereont hemomentandIr eal
izedthatIlovethi
s
man.Iwasenj oyi
ngthemomentbutf el
tashar p
paineacht i
mehemovedi n.It
riedtobarewi t
hit
untilhecamebuti twast oopainfulsoIstopped
him, Ihadt o.Goodnesshedi dn'tevenyellatmef or
doingsoi nst eadi
mmedi atelystoppedandIcan
onlyimagi nehowdi ff
icultitmustbef orhimtodo
so.It ol
dhi m what'
swr ong.

Yanda:"You'rebleeding.Didyougetyourper i
ods? "
helookedatme.Il ookedatmyt hi
ghandbedandI
am bleeding.I'
m notonmyper iodseit
her.Iknow
mydat es.Ilookedathi m.I'
mf eeli
ngsoashamed
andIr antothebat hroom andlockedthedoor .Why
i
sthishappeni ngnow?Isatont hefl
oorandcr ied.
Thedoor knobturnedbuthecoul dn'
tgetin."
Hl ubi,
pl
easeopent hedoor ,
"hepleadedsof t
ly.

Hlubi
:"Ican'
t.
..Idon'
tknowwhathappened,
Yanda.
I
'm notonmyper i
ods,
"Icr
ied.
Yanda:"Mor
er easonf
oryoutol etmeinbecause
somethingmightbewrong.Areyousore?"the
gent
lenessi
nt hi
sman'svoicejustmademecr y
more.

Hl
ubi
:"Abi
t,
"

Yanda:"Unlockthedoorpl
ease.You'
vegotno
reasontobeashamedorembar r
assed.Iloveyou
soopent hedoorbecauseI'
m goingcrazywith
wor r
youtherewhileIdon'
tknowwhatyou' regoi
ng
throughinther
e,"

Hl
ubi
:"Ir
uinedever
ythi
ng,
"

Yanda:"
Wellgoodthi
ngwe'l
lgettotr
yagai
n
somedayandIlovedever
ysecondsonothi
nggot
rui
ned.Openthedoornowplease,
"
Istoodf rom behi ndt hedoorandst upidmegothi s
fl
oorr edt oo.It ookt oil
etpapert owi pei t.Ifeelso
bad.Iopenedt hedoorf orhi m.Iwasst il
lnakedbut
coveredmybodywi thmyhandsandcr iedwhenI
sawhi m.Her ant omeandhel dme.Iexpect edhim
tocallacabf ormeandt ellmet ogett hehel loutof
hisplacebutno.Hewentt ot heshowerandouti t
on.Hest eppedi ntot heshowerwi thmeandhel d
mesot ight ly.Thebl eedingst oppedIt hinkbutI
watchedast hebl oodmi xedwi thwat ergodownt he
drain.Iwasi npai nbuti t'
snotper i
odpai n.It urned
tofacehi m andIf eltdefeatedbuthesmi led.Hegot
atowelandwegotour selvesdr yandgotdr essed
becausehesai dhe' sdri
vingmet ot heER.Whenwe
arri
vedhecar riedmei nsidebecausei nhi sman
brainIcoul dn' twal kbutIact uall
ylovedt hecar e.
Thedoct orexami nedmewi thhim pr esenti nthe
room.Shet hensai dsheneedst oinser tSomet hi
ng
i
nmypr ivateandt hatImi ghtf eelsomepai n.I'
m
sureit'snotbadbutwheni tdidgoi nwhat everit
wasIcr i
ed.I tlastedaboutt ensecondsandshe
saidshe' llber ightback.Yandagotont hebedwi t
h
mebr ushi ngmyshaki ngt highs.I'm surehewi l
ltell
menevertocal
lhim agai
naftert
his.X-
rayswere
doneandmoretest
sandt hedoct
oraskedifever
hadmytubedti
ed.

Hl
ubi
:"Yes,
"Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Dr
:"Whatki
ndofpr
ocedur
ewast
his?
"

Hlubi:"
Idon'
tknowbutthatguysai
dsomet hi
ng
aboutringswhenhediditsowewon'tfal
l
pregnant,
"Il
ookedatYandawhowasl ooki
ngdown.

DR:"Wel
lhedi
dn'
tdoapr operj
obatit
.I'
l
lhaveto
removet
hoser
ingsBecausetheyar
ecausingyou
t
obleed,
"

Yanda:"
Anoper
ati
on?
"
Dr
:"Thi
ngshaveimprovednow,sir
.Wewil
lonl
y
makesmalli
nci
sionstofi
xtheprobl
em,
"shesmil
ed.

Yanda:"
Soyou'
readmi
tt
ingher
?,"

Dr:"Shewon' tevenstaylong.Shouldallgoas
planned,youcant akeherhomei naf ewahour s.
Letmegopr eparefortheprocedure.Idon'tsuggest
thatyouhaveyourt ubedt i
edagain.Youshoul dsue
yourdoctorforhowhedi ditt
oo.Iwi l
lgiveyoual l
yourrecordst othelegalt
eam whenyouwant .I'l
lbe
backnow, "shesmi l
edandl eft
.

Yanda:"
Shoul
dIcal
lyourf
ami
ly?
"

Hlubi:"Notheyareallst
il
lsohappyfr
om t
he
weddi ng.Youheardthedoctori
t'
snotabi
g
operationandIwon'thavetostayher
eoverni
ght,
"I
fakedasmi le."
Youcangot ooifyouwant
,"Il
ooked
athim.
Yanda:"
I'
llst
ayanddriveyouhomeonceal
lis
done,
"hesmi l
edI'
m surei
t'
sforced.

Thedoct orr eturnedandIwast akent oanot her

room butYandawasnotal lowedi nwi t
hme.He' ll
begonewhenIcomeoutandchangehi snumber
soIwon' tgethol dofhi mI '
m sur e.Iwasputt o
sleepsoIwon' tfeelanypai n.Idon' tknowwhat
theywi lldot omebutasl ongasIneverbl eedagai n.
TheguyMi kehadt heprocedur edoonuswasa
mal enur se.Hedi ditathomeandt heplacewasnot
evencl ean.Mi kedi dn'twantust ogetpr egnantby
ourcl i
entsandI '
m gl adhet houghtoft hat.Hadwe
becomepr egnanthewoul ddef i
ni t
el yhavehadus
abort.Thet imewi thYandawasgr eatbuti tends
today,I'm sur e.Iwokeupaf terthepr ocedurei nthe
recoveryr oom.Thedoct orsaidal lwentwel l.That
sher emovedt her ingsthatt i
edmyt ubedandshe
saidtheywer en'tsupposedt ohaveusedt hose
kindstodoi t.Sheal sosai dIshoul dgoon
contracept ivesi fI'
m sexualact i
veBecauseIcan
fal
lpregnant.Ithankedherandshesai dIcangoi n
twohour sormor e.Il
aidther
ecrying.Iwon'tbother
myf amil
y.Iwipedmyt earswhenYandacamei n
hol
dingoneoft hosegetwel lbal
loons.Ithoughthe
l
eft.Hekissedmeandgavemet hebal l
oon.

Yanda:"
Don'
tgettoat
tachedtoitbecausethe
secur
it
ymightcomegetit.Ibor
roweditfr
om aman
whoseroom i
sfi
ll
edwiththem,"webothlaughed.

Hl
ubi
:"Thanks,
thi
ef.It
houghtyoul
eft
,"Il
ookedat
hi
m.

Yanda:"Woul
dn'tyouhavelovedtoberi
ght
becauseIknowt hat
'swhatyouexpect
ed.I
'
m her
e
andI'
llst
ayunti
lyoucangohome, "

Hlubi
:"Idon'
twantt
ogohome, Yanda.Oncet
hey
knowtheywillf
ussandI'
llt
akethehappymoodl
eft
bytheweddingaway.I
'l
lasktostayher
eafew
mor
edays,
"

Yanda:"
Wel lwecangot omypl ace.I'
veal
ways
wantedtonur sesomeonetohealth,
"welaughed.
"I
'
m notleavingyouherewhil
eyou' r
ehealt
h.You
j
ustneedt orestsoyou'
llr
ecover,
"

Hl
ubi
:"Yousur
eaf
terwhatyousaw?
"

Yanda:" Nana, ImeantitwhenIsai dI '

mi nthi
s
rel
ationshipwi thpurpose.Idon' tknowwhatyour
mindi stel
lingyouaboutmyi ntentionsbutit'
s
fool
ingyou.Ihat ethatwhenI 'm withyoui ndeepin
thoughtyouassumeI '
mt hinkingaboutyourpast .I
t
hurtsmebecauseIdon' tthi
nkabouti t.I
t'
sthepast
,
deadandbur ied.Idon'tl
ivether e,
"

Hlubi:"
Ijustf
inditdi
ffi
cul
ttobeli
eve.I'm sorryfor
hurt
ingyourfeeli
ngs.I'
m st
il
lnewt othis.Iloved
whathappenedear li
eronevenifthi
sr uinedit.I
t
hinkI
'
vemadepr
ogr
ess,
"hesmi
led.

Yanda:"
Ilovedi
ttooandIcan'
twai
ttodoi
tagai
n
whenyou'real
lgood,
"Ismil
ed.

Hourswentbyandt heyletmegoaf terfourhoursin

theearl
ymor ni
ng.Yandat ookmet ohi splaceand
heevenputt hedirt
ysheetint hewashi ngmachi ne.
Itwasn'
tsoakedi nbloodjustaf ewdr ops.He
changedt hesheetandcar riedmef r
om thecouch
tothebed.I'm stil
lverysoreandI '
llt
ellmyf amil
y
j
ustnottoday, especiall
ynotthenewl yweds.Il
aid
onmysi deeat ingchipswhi l
ehel aidbehindme.We
werewat chingmovi esonhi slaptop.Imovedcl oser
tohimtocl oset hegapbetweenusandheputhi s
arm undermyheadandt heot heronmyhi p.

Hl
ubi
:"Yanda,
"Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Yanda:"
Hmmm?
"
Hl
ubi:"
Iloveyoutoo,MrMbuzo,
"It
urnedmyhead
t
olookathim andallt
eet
hwereout
.

Yanda:"
Thankyou,
MaMl
ambo,
"heki
ssedme.I
tur
nedtofacehi
m.

Hl
ubi
:"Ouch,
"

Yanda:"
Car
eful
,
"If
inal
lyf
acedhi
m.

Hl
ubi:"
Pleasedon'
thur
tme.Ifyou'
ret
ir
edofme
pl
easetel
lmeandnotcheatonme,"hekissedme.

Yanda:"Thenicethi
ngaboutbei
nginyour40'
sis
thatyouknowl i
febynow.IknowwhatIwantand
don'twant.WhatI'
mlooki
ngforusri
ghtonthi
sbed
withme.IknowI '
m abori
ngmanwhi chmadealot
ofladi
eschooset owal
kaway.I'
m hopi
ngthatI
exci
teyouenougheveninmybor i
ngl
if
etomake
youwanttostay,
"helookeddown.

Hlubi
:"I
'
vegotenoughexci tementfort
hebothofus.
Ifyouwereabovemyl evelofexcit
ementI'
dhave
foundyouboring.Soyouexci t
eme.Ilovethatyou
arecal
m whileI'
m crazy.Ilovethatyouthi
nktwice
befor
esayingaswearwor dt oo,
"

Yanda:"
IhavenochoiceorNandiphawillmakeme
putmoneyintheswearjar
,"webothlaughed.

Hl
ubi
:"Doyout
rustmear
oundher
?"

Yanda:"
Shetr
ust
syouaroundhersoIdo,Nana.I
l
ookforwar
dtoseei
ngwhatwegrowinto,
"

Hl
ubi
:"Metoo.Il
ovehowyouloveyourchil
d,Yaya.
I
fyouwer
eabadf atherI
'
dhavekickedyouinthe
bal
ls,
"hel
aughed.

Yanda:"
Wowokay,
"hesmiled."
Areyouagr
eei
ngt
o
bei
ngmygir
lf
ri
endoff
ici
all
y?"

Hl
ubi
:"Youdi
dn'
taskmet
obe,
Myi
rha,
"

Yanda:"Mahl
ubandi
leElephant
,pr
incessoft
he
Hlubicl
anwil
lyoupleasebemywoman, mylove,
myf r
iend?
"Ibl
ushed.

Hlubi
:"YandaMbuzo,pri
nceoftheZondicl
an,
I
wouldlovetobeyourperson.I
'
dlovet
ogettoknow
youandyourbaby,"heki
ssedme.

Yanda:"Thankyoufori
ncl
udi
ngher
.Youar
e
beaut
iful
,"Ibl
ushed.
Weki ssedandki ssedwhi leIgi ggl edbet ween.Of
cour seI '
di ncludehi schi ld.Iwoul dneverdo
anyt hingorbeapar tofanyt hingt hatwoul dhar m
Nandi pha.I fsheal lowsmeI 'dlovet obeherf riend.
Sincehermot heri sdistantshe' llneedsomeonet o
tellheraboutper iods, boysandsuch.Thosel itt
le
thingsal i
ttlegirlcan' ttal
kt oherf atheraboutI '
ll
proudl yst epi nbutonl yifsheal l
owsme.I 'minl ove
andIhadmyf ir
stgenui nesexualexper i
encet hat
wasf i
lledwi t
hgent l
eness, ki
ndness, loveand
pat i
ence.He' sseensomuchandknowssomuch
yethechoosest ost ay.Hemustr eall
yl oveme.I
l
ookf orwar dt ofinishingwhatwest artedear l
ieron
onceI '
ver ecover ed.Somet hingt ellsmet hathei s
thosegent l
eguysi nbedwel l hejusti nvitedal i
tt
le
freaki nhi sbedsoIhopei twon' tscar ehi m.He' s
beenwant ingt oint r
oducemet ohi smot herbutI
wasnotr eadybutI '
m consi der i
ngdoi ngi t.Wear e
yett olear nmor eabouteachot her .Iaskedi fhe
want smor ekidsandhesai donl yi fI'
llbet he
mot her .Ilaughedi tof fbutdeepdownIwi shit
coul dhappensomeday.I 'm ol dsot imei snotonmy
sidebutwi thmoder nmedi cinewhoknows.I
brushedhi sf acewi thmyf i
nger swhi lehel ooked
i
nt omyeyes, mysoulr ather .Ikissedhi sf orehead,
hischeek, hisnose, hischi nandf i
nall
yhi sl i
ps.I t
's
truethatther ightmandoesn' tseebr okenwhen
theylookatawomanwi t
hadar kpast ,t
heysee
beauty.Icanseei nhi seyest hathei sgenui ne
aboutwhathesayshef eels.Ihopewecangr ow
thisandper hapsbecomear ealf amily.Toni ght
provedt hatI'm comf ortablewi thhi mi never yway.I
l
ookathi m andIf eel mysel fwavi nggoodbyet omy
pastandgr eetingmyf uture,onewher eI'
ml oved
notonl ybymyf ami l
ybutbymymanandhopef ul
ly
hisdaught ert oo.Wecuddl edwi t
hourf acesso
closetoeachot herIf elthiswar m breathonmy
faceunt i
lwebot hfeelasl eep." Dearpast ,
thankyou
forthelessonsbuti t
'st imet oleaveyoubehi ndso
thatIcangr ow.Imostcer tainlywon' tmi ssyou.
DearFut ure, I
'mr eadyf orallthegoodIf eelyou
havei nstoref orme, "

THEEND.
Thanksonceagainf
ormakingtimetoreadmy
st
ories,
guys.Il
oveandappreci
ateyouallso
much